


Maria University

by alw0021



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, BDSM, Blow Jobs, Catholic, Catholic Character, Christianity, Cocaine, Cock Rings, Cock Slut, College, Crazy, Crossdressing, Crossdressing Kink, Daddy Kink, Dom/sub, Dorms, Drug Dealing, Drug Use, Drugs, Drunk Blow Jobs, Drunk Sex, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional Sex, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Sex, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Family History, Family Secrets, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Foursome, Foursome - M/M/M/M, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Funny, Gen, Guns, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Heavy BDSM, Heavy Petting, Historical, Historical References, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Injury, Jealousy, Jewish Character, Jewish Holidays, Jewish Identity, Judaism, Kinks, Large Cock, Light BDSM, Love, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, M/M, Memory Alteration, Mild Kink, Military Backstory, Minor Injuries, Multi, Mystery, Mystery Character(s), Mysticism, Nipple Piercings, Obsession, Original Character(s), Other, POV Alternating, Past Relationship(s), Polyamorous Character, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Polygamy, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-lawsuit, Praise Kink, Recreational Drug Use, Reincarnation, Reincarnation fic, Relationship(s), Religion, Religious Conflict, Religious Content, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Revenge, Roman Catholicism, Romance, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Roughness, Secrets, Seme Eren Yeager, Seme Erwin, Seme Levi, Seme Marco, Serious Injuries, Service Dogs, Sex Drugs and Rock and Roll, Sex Toys, Sex Toys Under Clothing, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Shower Sex, Size Kink, Smut, Social Anxiety, Stalking, Threesome - M/M/M, Uke Eren Yeager, Uke Erwin, Uke Jean, Uke Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Uke Marco, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Violence, Winmin - Freeform, armin x erwin, ereri, eruri - Freeform, erwin x levi, jeanmarco, pierced jean, seme armin, seme jean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-16
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2018-04-21 01:34:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 195
Words: 1,329,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4809887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alw0021/pseuds/alw0021
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Honestly, this summary barely touches on the things in this fic. It started as college AU and has kind of moved in to present drama and past historical mystery drama and possible reincarnation. You just need to start it, give it a chance, and go with the flow.</p><p>Armin, Eren, and Jean start college and their lives become a dramatic tangle of lies, love, and secrets. Erwin and Levi are two retired marines, RAs at the university, and partners who after nearly dying in Middle East are trying to live their lives peacefully and productively. Unfortunately, things are not as they should be at the university and Levi and Hanji's ground breaking research is the target of a secret group whose influence extends around the world. Erwin feels the need to continue his father's work fighting the group and slowly but surely as it all comes together things become even more convoluted and no one is really who they are or telling the whole truth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Moving Day

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first time writing for this fandom and I've been dying to for a while. Please be kind. 
> 
> The first three chapters are pretty fluffy but then it takes a turn for the darker more intense angst. Angst and Fluff are blended together in most chapters after the fourth as the plot develops and become more focused and complex. 
> 
> SO expect college AU happy and then BAM intense historical political drama....with smut and love because I'm not heartless.

For most, moving day is the long awaited and glamorized first step to freedom on the long road to adulthood starting with college. Brochures upon brochures had been piling up on the Arlert and Jaeger household counters for months as their high school seniors made their final decisions of where they wanted to go to school. The choice was simple: Maria University. 

Maria University was a land grant college that focused mostly on agriculture and the sciences. They were known for their academic achievements and for boasting a number of famous astronauts, engineers, fashion designers and every branch of ROTC possible. Yes, for Eren Jaeger, Mikasa Ackermann-Jaeger, and Armin Arlert they were sure that Maria University would be the best choice for their varied interests and also allow them to stay close. They were even all going to be in the same dorm.

The morning of move-in day was hectic for Eren and Mikasa. Mikasa had everything packed and ready to go, it was just the amount of things she had. Mikasa had been accepted to prestigious fashion design program as a freshman. She would be starting her major classes’ right from the start and thus she needed to bring all of her sewing supplies, bolts of fabrics, and life size models. Eren, however, was simply a “lazy fuck” as his friend Jean so lovingly liked to call him and had put off packing until the last minute only to stay up all night playing call of duty with Jean. He rushed to put all of his things into the large tubs Mrs. Jaeger had bought knowing her son was less of a fold and stack and more of a shove and hope-to-God-this-all-fits type of packer. Dr. Jaeger was yelling for his son to help him load the car when Armin pulled up in the driveway in his baby blue 2015 Volkswagen, a graduation present from his Grandfather after they received news Armin had received a full ride to Maria University. 

Dr. Jaeger wiped the sweat from his brow after laying the male bust inside the trunk. “Hey, Dr. Jaeger!” Armin’s chipper voice and sweet smile made Dr. Jaeger feel a little bit brighter. He’d always enjoyed how smart, polite, and positive Armin was and thought that he was truly a good influence on Eren made him eternally grateful. “Hello, Armin. Are you all packed and ready to go?” Armin shuffled his feet as he attempted to reign in the blinding smile that started to form on his face. “Yes, sir! I packed everything last night. All I had to do was put my essentials in this morning and get dressed.” Armin was wearing worn blue jeans and a Maria University t-shirt. One that Mr. Jaeger would call tasteful since he didn’t enjoy overdone tailgate wear. It was a vintage shirt from the 70s with Maria University in navy blue letters surrounding a navy blue head of Maria as it was called. 

The university technically had two sigils: The Head of Maria that adorned most formal invitations and letter heads and The Survey Corps or “Scouts” logo which was arguably the favored logo of students. The football team was called The Survey Corps or Scouts depending on what decade of alumni you were speaking to and were loved even by people out of state. Eren preferred the Scouts logo, a set of wings on a green background with one set of navy blue feathers crossing another side of snow white ones, on all of his school materials while Armin preferred the academic and respectful Head of Maria, another reason Dr. Jaeger like Armin. Armin let Dr. Jaeger continue his work and rushed inside promising to get Eren to hurry up. Eren was just shoving the last bit of his clothes in the nearest container when Armin came in, “Man, we’re going to be late. Check in is at 9:00 and it’s 7:10 now! We’ve got roughly 2 hours and 30 minutes to get there. Is that your underwear?” Armin’s confused tone caused Eren to momentarily pause and turn around, “What?” And then he saw his underwear in the clear plastic tub pressed against the lid for the entire world to see. What immediately drew his eyes weren’t the normal white and black briefs but his cutesy pairs that had dogs, kittens, and even captain America all over them. “Soooo, do you get extra credit in vet school if you wear those or?” Armin smirked as Eren turned bright red. He ripped the lid off and started to unzip the front pocket of his backpack, “S-shut U-up!” Armin snorted and started piling boxes to take down stairs as Mikasa talked with their mother about watching out for Eren and not letting him fail his classes by being unprepared. 

Once loaded and goodbyes said the three friend set off, Armin in his Volkswagon, Mikasa in her Nissan Z and Eren in his SUV Porsche. Dr. Jaeger did very well for himself and Mrs. Jaeger came from “Old Money” as Armin liked to call it. Thank God for the Porsche, though. Mikasa’s car couldn’t hold anything but herself and a pack of gum, perhaps.

They drove quickly and upon entering Maria city limits Eren started honking his horn much to Armin’s embarrassment. They were at the check in area in no time, choosing to park as close as possible to their dorm before greeting their moving-in advisers. Eren scanned the tables for their dorm finding it occupied by a tall blonde man with a mustache that made him look like a 80s porn star, a classy one, but a porn start none the less. He was so tall that they couldn’t stop staring. “Hey guys, I’m Mike. I’m a Junior in Mechanical Engineering.” Eren shook his hand asking if Mike was their RA while Armin and Mikasa waited to shake hands as well. “I’m not your RA because I live off campus but I’ll be around often. Can I get your names? There aren’t a lot of people moving in since most that live in here are returning or moved in early for band already.”

Just as Eren was about to speak this ungodly screeching penetrated his mind, crushing him and causing his to nearly jump out of his skin in terror. He then felt himself lifted off the ground and crushed into someone with such force it knocked him breathless. Armin was also crushed into him, though, Mikasa somehow managed to maneuver herself in such a way only her light lila colored silk blouse was clutched in a death grip by whomever was creating that inhumane sound. “Oooooh! Aren’t y’all so cute! I just love y’all! We’re going to be great friends I can tell. Have y’all already got your room assignments or are you waiting? Is anyone going into Medicine? I’m a TA.” The shrill voice echoed against the buildings.

The person holding them wore lab goggles with their pretty dark brown hair pulled back in a high pony tail. They was wearing paint covered khaki shorts and a forest green polo shirt tucked in with a sticker that said “Ask me about science.” Armin read the sticker with some amusement but swore to never ask them about science unless necessary. Mike shuffled some papers around before sighing “They haven’t had their assignments yet. You got carried away before they could answer.” Releasing the three they stepped back and said “Oh, well, I apologize for that. I get really excited about things. My name is Hanji Zoe. Please use They/Them pronouns. I’ll be showing you to your rooms and helping you get settled in today with Mike. Since y’all will be in dorm Dot over here y’all will be seeing us a lot. Can I get your names?” Mikasa was the first to answer “Mikasa Ackermann-Jaeger.” Hanji sifted through files. “Oh…wow you’re lucky. You’re on the third floor and will be only be sharing with two others. Your roommate Sasha Blouse has already checked in.” Mikasa smiled “I didn’t know I’d be sharing a room with Sasha.” Eren was also surprised, “Yeah, what are the chances? I mean almost all of our friends are going here but to end up sharing a room is crazy.” Armin shuffled forward “Armin Arlert.” He gave Mike and Hanji a sweet smile causing Hanji to “oooh” and “aaahh” again until Mike found his file “Looks like second floor and you’ll be sharing with an Eren Jaeger. You two will also have two other suite mates.” Eren and Armin high-fived at the news before all of them followed Mike and Hanji to their rooms. 

They’d put in requests to be roommates but that didn’t always work out. They couldn’t imagine living with anyone else in such small quarters. They used to be in boy scouts together mostly because they could suffer the embarrassment of sharing a tent and sleeping bag as long as it was with someone who was aware that Eren snored loudly and Armin used to drool due to a mouth guard to prevent grinding. He was thankful those awkward days were over and he only had to wear the night guard when he was extremely stressed out. Mikasa was kicked out of the girls scouts after an impassioned speech about gender equality and telling the other girls the reason they couldn’t sell as many cookies as her was because they were “weak.” Carla Jaeger had been quite the proud mother even if her son had nearly been kick out after various fights with the Kirschstein boy over capture the flag. Eren explained that who he was and accepted the welcome packet and key just like Armin and Mikasa. Mikasa would be in room 320 and they would be in 218.

  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  


Room 218 had white cinder block walls with one main accent wall in a textured cobalt blue. The beds were empty and ready to be arranged along with the two basic chest of drawers and two desks all made of heavy wood. The bathroom was 20s yellow and white tile with a full tub and shower combo, one porcelain pedestal sink and one “super industrial hospital style toilet” as Eren exclaimed upon entering the bathroom to relieve himself. Armin would just take him at his word. They opened the door to the other suite and Eren let out a loud audible sigh at what they found. 

Jean Kirschstein was sprawled on a black shag rug he’d brought from his room back home adjusting his LP collection of classic rock albums and a few awesome indie ones, if Eren was being honest. His bed was made for the most part. Black comforter and white sheets, pillows with geometric prints and his side of the room already had what would surely become a wall to wall collage of band pictures, famous works of art, and his own all over it. Jean was applying to the graphic design program along with taking classes for an Art Education degree. Jean wanted to teach art when he got older. His parents thought it was wise because he’d have something to fall back on but in reality, Jean loved kids and really wanted to work with them and have a large family of his own one day after he had made it big and established himself in the world of art.

Jean loved to draw so much that many of his rough ketches alone won awards while at school. Eren had him paint a family photo for his mother one mother's day and it had delighted her and adorned the dining room wall over the buffet. Whenever guests of the hospital Dr. Jaeger owned came over they remarked on the realistic quality of the painting and the overwhelming sense of love that seemed to radiate off the painting. That was something Eren could have picked at but didn't because no matter how often they fought he really did care about Jean. He could have been a permanent member of the family if Mikasa and he had worked out. They split at the beginning of senior year amicably and Eren never found out why but was glad there wasn't any bad blood or worse. At least Jean hadn't done anything reckless. He was so in love with her Eren thought he might run his shitty pick-up truck off into a ravine for attention or something.

Jean sprung to his feet when the three entered, "Aw hell no. Why do I have to get stuck with you? I came to get away from you, Jaeger!" Eren barked a laugh and held his hands up, “well what can you do?” Despite his attempt at sounding outraged and exasperated Jean was smiling as he rubbed the back of his neck and pushed a few remaining boxes under his bed with his foot. Eren dropped his hands, “I could say the same. I don't want to wake up to the sound of your hectic morning routine of swearing and wreaking utter destruction in that tiny ass bathroom." Eren crossed the room along with Armin to hug Jean. “Hey, I’m not a morning person and neither are you so I’d shut up. Armin is who I should be worried about but he’s been stuck with you for so long he’s probably used to it all.” Jean hugged Armin and ruffled his hair. He had once shown up on Armin’s doorstep late asking, nay begging him, to let him feel his hair and play with it for a painting he was doing. Armin felt like there was a bit more to it but in the name of art he’d allowed Jean an entire week to play with, brush, braid, feel his hair. Armin secretly really enjoyed it. 

Mike stood in the door way before clearing his throat ending the reunion. "Well guys, it's nice to know we won't have too many issues from y'all. Your roommate isn’t here yet so when they arrive tell them this: you have two RAs and their numbers and other important phone numbers are on the bulletin boards outside your room along with your names. Put them in your phones now. Leave your names on for the first couple of weeks if not the entire time here in the dorms till the RAs memorize them. It'll also help you remember your rooms and if there are any issues. Feel free to call or text your RAs if there are any problems. The rules are pretty simple. No loud noise after 10. Don't destroy the communal kitchen downstairs. No pets and no overnight guests, if you know what I mean.” Mike winked at the three boys before pushing off the door frame of the bathroom he’d been leaning on.

The three nodded their heads while a small blush washed over Armin. Eren and Jean we're no doubt already planning on disregarding all of those rules and he knew that was going to make them very popular with the RAs for all the wrong reasons. He just hoped they'd not hate him too. Armin just really wanted to be liked. "Alright guys, I'm gunna head out to introduce the others. Hanji showed Mikasa her room upstairs and if you want y'all can head up there before you unpack." Mike turned to leave out through Eren and Armin's room while the three continued to talk. "Who is you roommate, horse face? Is it someone from school? Mikasa got Sasha!" Eren slapped Jean hard on his back, "No, shit head, he's not. I haven't got a clue. His name is Jeeter and he's a ghost. No Facebook, tumblr, twitter or even a real email. Hopefully, he just won’t show and I'll privatize." Jean smirked at the thought of the entire room to himself and everything he’d be free to do without a roommate getting in his way and touching his stuff. So help them God if they got into his watercolors like Eren did that one time. He’d kill them. 

The trio made their way up the stairs to the top floor. Armin opened the door to the hall and had the sudden realization that there wasn't an elevator in the dorm. _We're going to have to drag everything up these stairs._ The first door on the left was Mikasa's suite mate named Annie, apparently. Her name was the only one present. _She must be a private._ Armin thought. Mikasa's door held both her name and Sasha's except for a tiny addition in elegant script made with a black fine point sharpie. Her name read "Sasha Fierce" and the group burst loudly into laughter. "SASHA FIERCE!" Yelled Eren doing his best runway walk as the door was snatched open to a smiling Sasha, "Oh my God! I know! WHO WROTE THAT?" Sasha started to laugh too while Mikasa and Connie smiled from inside the room. Armin looked to Connie "Did you write this?" Connie shook his head "Naw man, she is fierce though. The RAs must have written it. They put the names up or maybe someone else who moved in did when they passed by." Armin stepped inside "Well, they must be pretty fabulous to like Queen B." The group chatted away about their luck living in the same dorm and how Connie had actually checked in early and offered to help them all move since there isn't an elevator.

Once finished they all went down to their cars and started unloading. A few others stopped by to say hi like Thomas Wagner and Mia Carolina. It was looking like everyone from their school was going to be living “on the wall” as their cluster of dorms was called. The quad was where most people wanted to live since it was in the middle of campus and that's where most honor students stayed. Armin had gladly given up his space to stay with Eren. He never ran late and didn't see the appeal in the "wake up and stroll into class" life. He was happy to be with his friends and was sure he wouldn't regret his decision. 

The group finished in about an hour and decided to hang out in Sasha and Mikasa's room till the mandatory RA meeting that night. The meeting would have food and drinks for everyone and a lunch had been provided at the check in tables for them. Munching away Sasha told everyone how excited she was about classes. Both Sasha and Connie were going into restaurant management and had a dream to one day own their own Michelin Star restaurant. Jean swore it'd be nothing but potatoes and more potatoes but an enthusiastic Connie butted in with the addition of "and rare cheeses" causing everyone to snort with amusement. 

At 6:00 the group headed down to the main recreation room and communal kitchen. The entire dorm was made of cinder block and reinforced steel ideal for shelter during war. The quad was the safest and had been used as bomb shelters during WWII and the wall dorms were a later addition but built with the same slightly paranoid zeal and precaution that came with a school run mostly by and overflowing with genius engineers and military professionals. Not to mention the site of a nuclear reactor was about a 3 hour drive away and the campus was set up for possible nuclear fall out. Truthfully, there wasn’t a place on campus without some sort of historical significance and or awe-inspiring reason for it’s inception. 

On the right was a small sitting area with couches and across from it the front desk where you checked your guests in but everyone used the back doors due to it being the exit to the parking lot and Eren could see that was also how overnight guests were going to be brought in. On the left was the larger recreation room where the meeting was being held with tables for eating and another couch. A large older model TV was set into the wall for communal use along with some board games. It was also where the vending machines were and the kitchen. 

The kitchen was spotless and smelled like bleach and pine saw. There was also a list of rules in the same elegant script as before but this time it wasn't so funny. The rules read: 1. Little shits, don't fuck anything up 2. If you didn't bring it isn't yours so don’t fucking eat it or mess with it 3. Put everything back where it belongs or you will find all of your things misplaced as well 4. If you leave trash I will dump it on your bed 5. Wash everything and clean everything with the soap and cleaning supplies under the counter 6.This kitchen is not a democracy. It is a dictatorship and you will follow the rules or you will be punished. I am Stalin and once you cross the iron curtain I control what role you play in this worker’s paradise. 

The group read the rules in silence till Eren spoke up, "Wow, whoever wrote those is a tight ass. I can't stand people like that. Like, who the fuck leaves such passive aggressive notes?" He huffed and turned to Armin. Armin couldn’t help the quirk of his lips, "Well, Eren, that's not really all that passive. I'd say it's aggressive and really clear. Don't mess with the kitchen.”He mumbled to himself mostly, “I'm sure it'll be the largest part of this meeting." Armin shifted from one foot to the other since there wasn't enough room for everyone to sit they'd all stood in the back against the cold walls. Just then the room quieted and in walked the most dashing, the most handsome, and commanding man Armin had ever seen. 

While he wasn't as tall as Mike he was close. His golden blonde hair had strands of platinum that caught the lights making his hair icy looking. His eyes were bright blue and he had the largest eyebrows that on anyone else would have look hideous but on him they looked spectacular. Armin was so enraptured he'd stopped breathing and awkwardly inhaled right as everyone officially became silent. While not loud enough for the others in room to notice his group of ever watchful friend sure did. A side glance at Jean was all he needed to know that his infatuation was going to be the new fodder for group teasing. Armin quickly returned his gaze back to the figure at the front of the room.

He could feel his face start to flush as he noticed what the man was wearing. He had tight white button up shirt that showed off just how lean and cut he was as the fabric clung onto his muscles when he flexed removing his satchel. He wore tight khaki shorts like Mike had had on and they had miniature Wing’s of Freedom logos on them. Fan merchandise was really moving in a classy direction, Armin thought. He could be a model. Armin wanted to buy the clothes off of him. His face grew hotter as his thoughts become more and more inappropriate. The man turned to face everyone and with the brightest smile that ever graced the planet he saluted with the Scouts salute bringing his right hand in a fist over his heart and said “Welcome guys! My name is Erwin Smith and I’m one of your RAs. The other RA Levi couldn’t be here tonight but you’ll all get to meet him soon enough. Let’s begin, shall we?” Armin was going to have a hard time remembering anything from this meeting.


	2. Roomate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I just wanted to say that this chapter contains some potentially triggering material (for some people perhaps? I could be overreacting) in that it involves odd behavior, creepy behavior, mild violence, mild assault, and a little angst.

Erwin was nothing if not thorough. He took all of the incoming Freshmen through not only what they learned in their Camp Maria sessions, a mandatory 3 day introduction to the university set up like a camp where students can learn about the university and sign up for their classes, but he gave in depth run downs on common issues and crisis situations many find themselves in. He spent a particularly long time explaining what you could set on fire in your room and that was simply: absolutely nothing don’t do it stop it we have microwave watt limits for a reason trust us. Erwin also revealed that he was a junior but he didn’t say in what and that he liked scotch and the colors blue and green but orange was his favorite. Armin felt like a14 year old girl. He had to urge to run back to his room, curl up under his bed duvet and write in his diary about how dreamy Erwin was. 

His wish was soon granted when the meeting ended and they were all ready to return to their dorms. Classes started in less than 2 weeks. That would give him plenty of time to day dream uninterrupted. Mikasa pulled on his arm breaking him from his thoughts. “Hey, Armin, I know you’ve just seen your Disney prince but we need to go back up to the room.” Her voice was calm and only a little teasing. She smiled faintly, her eyes standing out against the lilac blouse and Armin was not for the first time a bit stunned at how beautiful Mikasa really was. “Sure,” he nodded but began surveying to see if Erwin was still there, “I guess we should go or maybe we could…stay?” Mikasa raised an eyebrow, “You want to stay and chat with Mister ‘I like Scotch” RA over there?” _I’d let him do body shots of scotch off of me…Oh my God, what is wrong with me?_ “Uhh I mean…yes…no…what would I even say.” Armin sighed in frustration. He was always so level headed and never got rattled this easily. This was a challenge he wasn’t ready for. 

Mikasa looked at him with concern until something caught her eye. “Armin, he’s coming over here.” Armin felt himself flush and his body felt like a furnace. His legs turned to jelly before he hears a soft “Hello” from body shot scotch man himself. _He’s just like those retired war generals from my favorite historical dramas. I might die here…I can’t do this._ Before Mikasa could reply Armin bolted through the open doors, turned the sharp right and ran down to their respective end’s staircase. 

Mikasa was left mouth open in front of an equally confused Erwin. She closed her mouth and tried to make things a little less awkward. “He didn’t hear you. He just realized he forgot to call home to tell them everything went fine driving down.” Erwin’s face revealed an interesting emotion that Mikasa was going to keep to herself. He quickly returned to the same friendly one he’d adopted while leading the group and straighten himself before letting a low Santa like chuckle out. “I thought I’d scared him or something.” With that he rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged as Mikasa nodded. “Well, moving away from home isn’t easy and parents take it the worse honestly. Is he their first to go off to college?” Mikasa and Erwin continued to chat downstairs as Armin crawled under the covers of his bed and tried to disappear. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next three days were full of interesting developments. Annie Leonhardt and Mikasa had struck up a friendship that puzzled Sasha and the rest of the crew due largely to the fact that both girls seldom spoke and Annie tended to pick at Eren in ways that most back in their hometown would have seen as a death wish. Annie and Mikasa took an elective kick boxing class together that ran year round and often came back roughed up from sparring with one another. Eren asked if she was happy and Mikasa swore she was so they let it be. Annie was strangely sweet to Armin which made Armin ever more confused than he already was. Unfortunately, Armin still hadn’t recovered from his near encounter with Erwin and Jean was in his own personal hell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone has a horrible roommate story. Everyone knows someone who was matched unfairly to the absolute worst human being alive and there was no explanation except that they must have done something horrific in a past life to deserve such torture. Jean’s roommate Jeeter was this person. Jeeter was an aspiring burn out with long black unruly hair that sometimes housed small objects or marshmallows from children’s cereals. He had a guitar with only two strings that he strummed throughout the day after making tea that he preceded to spill all over everything, including Jean’s physics books. They only cost him a measly $280.00 but _“whatever, man, sure…”_ Jean furiously thought _“your dreams are more important than mine. Spill your tea on my soul next time, please.”_ Jeeter would walk around in half clothed, talking to Jean and asking him about all kinds of personal things. He definitely brought up some creepy topics. Not just topics that are indeed creepy, no, Jean could live with that. It was the sort of topics that made his stomach clench in unease. It seemed like Jeeter would lead their conversation by asking things like “did you ever go to 4H conference in Nashville?” And when Jean replied that “yes, had he been there as well?” Jeeter would just giggle to himself stating that “no, he lived in New York that year and was never involved in 4H.” It struck him as weird that he’d bring up something that specific but it was a larger conference and seeing that he was an artist perhaps Jeeter just had good deduction skills.

It was also the times where Jeeter knew what Jean’s mother’s maiden name was and a sly comment about a scar Jean had on his hip that he was sure Jeeter could never have seen and therefore, couldn’t have asked about the story of how he even got it. He knew things about where Jean was from even though he’d not lived in the state for a number of years but what really crossed the line was his insistent attempts to get Jean to go to dinner with him or the movies or just stay in the dorm with him and never leave. He had all sorts of video games and movies with him, some never had been opened, but they all had a theme: Jean’s favorites. It was odd that someone would have every single thing that Jean liked. 

Perhaps, Jean was getting more mature. He was handling things pretty well for him until he started to observe Jeeter’s night time behavior. Since they had all moved in early that had almost two weeks to get settled before classes started in full. Jean had taken that time to get to know the city and hang out with his friends until the wee hours of the morning. He would come home to the lights out and Jeeter asleep. Laying down in his bed Jean would do his best to fall asleep but that’s when Jeeter’s peculiar behavior would begin. Whether it was because he thought Jean was asleep or not he would watch as Jeeter would slowly rise up into a sitting position in his bed. His eyes were obscured not allowing Jean to know if he was simply gazing at the wall while asleep or if he was as Jean was beginning to suspect gazing at him. This continued and grew worse and worse the later Jean stayed out. He even found him out of his bed one night in the middle of the room. The hairs on Jean’s neck stood up as he saw the statuesque body unmoving. It took everything he had not to let fear get the best of him and yell out. Jean stopped sleeping with his back to Jeeter after that night.

The group first learned of Jean’s personal hell after Eren had found Jean leaned over the tub after the first two days of classes ended. He was pawing at something inside muttering under his breath. Eren peered over his shoulders and saw that all of Jean’s shampoo, conditioners, hair products, and body wash had been poured out to run down the drain. “YO! MAN! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOUR STUFF?” Jean turned to face Eren, his features darkened over and this creepy smile. Eren shivered at the sigh. “Oh, they’re just slipping away along with my faith in humanity. He told me my products were inhumane and contained dangerous chemicals so I guess this is his way of saving me or protesting…” Jeeter had also attached a long winded speech about how there needed to be a cultural revolution or something. It wasn’t really Jean’s cup of tea. After all that had been happening he was reaching his limit. He couldn’t deal with Jeeter anymore. It was then that Jean decided he’d find a way to revolutionize his own living arrangement. He needed to free himself of Jeeter. Jean turned to run his hands through the liquid before whispering and frightening Eren even more, “ _Révolution, je t’aime._ ”

As the days went on Jean came back to many things. Once Jeeter and a girl he met on Ok Cupid were on his bed eating cheetos and watching raunchy porn. They were also in some kind of burning man festival wear with feathers and self adhesive glued on jewels. He told Jean if he was jealous he’d send her away. Not knowing how to respond Jean shrugged it off with a laugh and started making a bag to take over to Connie’s. They were going to be up late playing games while Sasha and Mikasa hung out. Jeeter seemed perturbed at Jean’s reaction as he made his way to the front door. Jean felt Jeeter come up behind him pushing the door closed. When Jeeter turned to face him he was smiling and asked Jean if he was interested in a threesome. Needless to say, Jean declined and made his way quickly over to Connie’s. 

On another night, Jean woke up to a rustling sound. He couldn’t see anything because of his black out curtains but the sound persisted. When he went to sleep he was the only one in the room. Quickly, he turned on his lamp and what he saw cannot be described. Jeeter was sitting in the middle of the room with bags of miracle grow opened, dirt all over the floor, and countless plant pots. Jeeter had frozen in mid-pat of the soil of one of the plants to look at Jean. They remained silent until Jeeter’s phone began to ring. He answered the phone, told them he’d call them back and then explained to Jean that the seeds knew what time of day it was and they were sleeping so he thought burying them in their new homes at night would be better. Did he wake him and would he like to join him in his adventures of botany? 

The group was consistently entertained by Jean’s stories thought they did feel bad. It was only the first two weeks and classes hadn’t even begun yet. For all of this to have happened over was almost too much to believe. Nothing happened to people in real life like this, especially not day after day, right? Living full time with Jeeter wasn’t going to be fun. They made it through the first two days of class without incident and that left Jean feeling a sense of dread for what was brewing. 

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The last straw came that Sunday before the first full weeks of class when Jean woke up to Jeeter staring down at him while he slept. He had felt his warm breath on his face coupled by Jeeter’s long white fingers tangled in his hair. His eyes widened in fear as he saw Jeeter’s looming form . He didn’t have time to think. He needed to get away from this guy and quick. He threw his sheets back kicking the books resting on the edge of his table off and ran into the joined bathroom slamming it open against the toilet with a loud bang and subsequent one from slamming it closed. Eren and Armin were awoken suddenly when Jean entered their room. He closed their door, locked it, and got in bed with a squeaking, squawking, blushing Armin. Once under the covers Armin got up the courage to ask what the matter was. Jean stared blankly at the ceiling before replying, “He’s got to go.” This was going to be an interesting night for the three friends. 

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The next morning Armin woke up to a very personal side of Jean. His bed was only an extra large twin and one side was pressed against the wall. Jean was pushing Armin into wall as well as holding him. Armin was thankful he wasn't facing Jean since the thought of his morning breath wasn't a pleasant one. Though, a little halitosis would be nothing compared to the awkward boner pressing into his backside right now. Armin tried to break free but the more he protested the more Jean tightened his arms around him. Armin finally decided to just roll himself over and out of the grip. This might have worked if Jean was a graceful person but instead Armin's roll startled Jean and caused him to hold even tighter until he rolled with Armin over the side and onto the floor. 

Everyone's bed was capable of becoming a bunk bed with the other roommate's. That means that each bed could be raised or lowered about 5 ft. Of course, most had their beds at the 5 ft mark so they could store their belongings or bookshelves under them and that's what Armin and Eren had done. The fall was going to be brutal and Armin closed his eyes preparing for the worse. Jean landed on his back with Armin on top of him knocking all the air out of his lungs. Jean's sputtering for air woke Eren and had Armin panicking and apologizing till they all woke up fully and started getting dressed for classes. Jean apologized for latching onto Armin while Eren made jokes about how Jean had never sounded more like horse in his life and Armin brushed it off with a “You should find someone else to put your boner on” causing Eren to howl even more at a visibly embarrassed Jean. 

Armin was majoring in History and wanted to focus specifically on military history. He hoped to enter the Master’s program and Ph.D program at the school. He was considering law school as another possible alternative degree choice but that wasn't really his passion, more a hobby that perplexed his friends who tried to convince him that video games was a hobby not creating criminal defense strategies. Armin started to get dressed pulling on a beige colored shirt, his dark skinny jeans, and Sperrys while searching for his glasses. He wore contacts most of the time but his glasses were his comfortable option. They complimented his face and were a gift from the Jaegers and that meant they were designer and probably worth more than his car. Armin turned to check himself out in the full length mirror as Eren and Jean were finishing up. Since Jean didn’t want to go back into his room he pulled on some of Eren’s clothes. Eren wore a deep forrest green v-neck shirt, faded blue jeans, and brown tennis shoes while Jean simply left his black Seether band T-shirt on and pulled on a pair of Eren’s darkest blue jeans and some converse. The three started down the hill between the band room and science buildings before stopping at a food truck to grab a quick breakfast.

In between bites of their bagels Eren eyed Jean curiously. _Well, he looks fine right now. I don’t want to piss him off but I gotta know what happened last night._ Eren swallowed his bite of bagel, following it with some orange juice, “Hey, Jean? What happened last night to make you finally snap?” Jean finished his bagel with a thoughtful look on his face. His whole body language was off. He’d expected him to fly off the handle or launch into a loud rant with a lot of gesticulation. Instead, Jean just threw his trash away, put his hands in his pocket, rocked slightly back and forth before saying “Mmmm well, I think it was when I woke up because of his hot breath dancing on my face. Or, it might have been when I saw him leaning over me or the hand he had stroking my hair? I’m not sure, you know. Maybe it was a little of all of it.” Jean shrugged as Armin froze mid bite of bagel. Eren was sputtering. “W-w-what?! JEAN! Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you, right? He touched you!?”

Students all over the concourse were looking at them from Eren’s sudden outburst causing Armin’s face to flush with embarrassment. Jean seemed unfazed by Eren’s outburst. That made things even tenser as both he and Armin waited for his response. Normally, he’d meet Eren’s outburst with his own short tempered one. Instead, he merely shrugged wiping his hands on his pants. "Listen, he just has to go. I need y'all to help me think of a way to get him out. Until then can I sleep in your room for a few more nights?" Armin and Eren didn't hesitate when replying in unison “yes.” "Alright, I've got physics, French, and a java lab today. I should be back the dorm around 4 this afternoon. When do y'all get done with classes and what are y'alls classes? I’ve never asked." Armin pushed off the wall he'd been leaning on. "I have World History in an hour then World Literature, Biology, and German. I should get back at 2:30pm." Eren continued, "I have Ethics, Anatomy, Wildlife Biology and German. After German I need to check out the small animal clinic so I'll be back around 3:30 at the latest." The trio had made their way into the student center. They agreed that the meeting time would be at 4 in the dorm. Until then, they each wished each other a good day and separated. Today would be a very interesting day for all three.

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**Armin’s day:**

Armin entered into the large lecture hall as other students trickled in slowly. He was always early to things but when he was especially nervous he would get there with enough time to go over every detail of the room or seating twice. The building where most of his classes were held was called the Command Center. It was a large building with 9 floors about ground and 3 below. It was a square building laid in a grid with sectors A, B, C, D. Most students and alumni joked that they never could figure out how the Command Sector worked and instead had to rely on coke machine or other land marks to find their classes. Other suggested taking a very specific route to all of one’s classes but warned that after a night out one mistake would set one up for tragedy so it’d just be best to go home after that first blunder. Armin didn’t foresee himself surrendering to the Command Center, he would master it. 

He chose to sit in the middle section, second row, right on the aisle. He had the perfect view of the podium, the screen for the projector, and the professor if they chose to walk as they lectured. He was so excited to finally begin learning. World History was a core requirement that he could have opted out of thanks to all of his AP classes and junior college transfers he’d done over the summer between the end of high school in May and the beginning of college in late August. Yes, Armin didn’t really need the class but he saw it as an easy credit and had read many reviews about the Russian professor Mr. Boris that had him full of anticipation for what was to come. 

Other students started to file in talking loudly, laughing, and complaining about the early 10 am class. Armin opened his back pack and brought out his notebook and pen. The teacher ran in after the start of the class a full 20 minutes late, the class was only 50 minutes, waving his arms around and loudly excusing himself. He was a tall Russian man with dark brown hair and pale clear skin. His hairline was receding but it wasn’t too bad. Armin thought his boxy jaw and prominent nose were striking. He was entirely dressed in Versace. Everything he had boasted the label. It was as if he’d walked off the runway and landed in the middle of their campus. He started handing out the syllabus prattling on about how the syllabus was just like every other one they’d received by now and the only rule was to not use your laptop for anything inappropriate during class. 

Mr. Boris leaned on the podium looking down at his Rolex, “Well, let’s end on this note. I need you all to sign the papers on the wall for roll. Your grades will be posted outside on the boards when you have them. Please find your grade by your student ID number. Also, we will have study sessions before every test run by my TA, Erwin Smith. If you have any questions come to my office hours or my TA’s office hours. Make sure to do the reading before next class and I’ll see you all then.” He clapped his hands together and started packing up his things. Armin sat planted firmly in his seat. Other students rejoiced at getting to leave early but Armin continued to stare at the name printed on his syllabus. Erwin Smith was everywhere.

Armin shoved the syllabus into his bag with his note book before heading to Lit and Biology. Both seemed promising and he really enjoyed his Literature teacher. He was a grumpy man with a penchant for wearing all tweed. His idea of a good day was reading the Iliad and chasing students off with threats of burning them with his cigarette buds. He smoked camels as he handed Armin a flyer while leaving to biology. “A book club?” Dr. Blume shrugged, “Yeah, it’s the department’s idea of getting students more involved. I have to help run it. Kind of a form of punishment. You look like you like to read so I thought I’d try and stack the deck with a few kids who’d not be totally worthless. We vote on the theme the first meeting. It’s this Wednesday, don’t be late.” With that he ruffled Armin’s hair and flicked his cigarette bud on an unsuspecting student making his way up the stairs. 

Once he got to German things were a little more comfortable. Most of the class contained his friends from back home. Eren, Sasha, and Connie were already sitting inside with Thomas and Mina coming in shortly behind him. They all loved the language and decided to learn on their own while in high school since the only foreign language offered was Spanish. They started chatting about school and how excited they were to start formal classes. Their teacher was well natured man who reminded them more of an old grandpa. His name was Dr. Nadar and he was magnificent. They all sat enraptured at his stories and started a game called “Stadt, Land, Fluß” to pass time on the first day. All in all, Armin was liking college a lot more than high school and was very excited about his prospects and his future encounters with Mr. Erwin Smith.

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The weather had turned off bad as they left the Command Center. Eren pulled at his shirt to cover his ears as the wind picked up. “Hey, Arm, you got your umbrella right? I still have to go to the lot and get my car to go to the clinic but if you don’t have your umbrella you can ride the bus with me over to it and I’ll drop you off at the dorm.” A rumble of thunder followed by the unleashing of torrential rain upon the campus caused both to jump. People scurried into buildings and along the concourse. Armin thought about it, “No, that’s okay Eren. Just go get your car and do what you have to do. I’ll be fine if I hurry and go up the steeper hill over there.” Eren nodded before disappearing back into the building. They were on the fourth floor and he could take the elevator down to the ground and leave out the side to the nearest bus stop. 

Armin opened his black and white poka-dot umbrella Mikasa had gotten him for his birthday. He hurried down the concourse and around the outside of the student center passing students by who either didn’t care or had accepted that they were just going to get wet. His shoes were soaked by the time he got to the bottom of the hill that would put him right at his dorm once he walked up it. Armin started a light jog. It was only until he was nearing halfway that he heard the soft meowing of a cat. Armin absolutely adored cats and would know that sound anywhere. He’d always wanted one but his Grandfather was allergic to them and his parents traveled too much to justify getting a pet. Armin heard it getting louder and louder but couldn’t see the cat at all. 

He was almost at the top when he noticed that the sound seemed to be coming from a pile of pine straw and other twigs and branches. He ran over and started searching through the straw only to find that it covered a drain and inside the drain, trapped, was a dirty little kitten. Its eyes were large and blue but its fur was so matted with mud and whatever else was in that drain he couldn’t tell what the cat looked like. Armin started pulling at the drain but it was stuck. It must have been removed and then placed back recently because there was no way the kitten could have gotten in or out. He wedged a stick in the corner to try and lift the grate. In doing so his umbrella fell from his shoulder and a crack of lightening startled him causing the kitten to mewl louder and more desperately as more water flowed into the drain. Armin started pulling at the corner, cutting his fingers. 

The grate started to lift but soon the water was too much and the kitten was washed out of sight. Armin ripped the grate back shoving his arm into the pipe. He felt around for the kitten. Finally, finding what he thought was the feel of fur he pulled out of the drain. Clutching its tiny form in his arms and checking that it was alive he ran to his dorm, crashing through the door with his ID card in hand and up to his dorm room where he quickly put the kitten in the bathtub. 

The tiny thing was distraught, meowing loudly and consistently. Armin turned on the water checking to make sure it was warm but not too warm. The tiny cat tried to crawl out of the tub but Armin put a comforting hand on it, “Shushhh, I know, I know. You’re scared. That was really close wasn’t it?” The cat continued to meow as if responding to Armin. “Let’s get you cleaned up and then you can tell me all about it, hm?” Armin reached for the dawn soap he kept in his caddy. Dawn was safe to use on animals and would cut through whatever the black tar like substance coating its fur was. He lathered the kitten up as it continued to “talk” to Armin. Armin continued to say soothing words while he worked. It didn’t occur to him just how load the kitten was at this time of day when most students were gone. He finished cleaning its fur revealing it to be entirely black except for one paw of white on its right front leg. 

Armin kissed the tiny paw as he dried the kitten. It continued to meow and once released it rubbed its body against Armin’s feet pawing its way higher up. “Hmm you sure are cute and talkative. You’ll have to tone it down a bit sweetie.” He reached down to rub behind its tiny ears. It was only about the size of his entire hand and couldn’t be too old. He needed to call Eren and tell him. Picking up his phone he dialed Eren who picked up about the third ring. “Hey! What’s up? I’m just leaving the clinic. You’ll never believe how amazing it is!” Armin could hear the smile in Eren’s voice. “Hey, so…I kind of saved this kitten and now I need your help. Could you get a few things for it? It can’t be that old and-“Eren laughed cutting Armin off “And you’re in love and want to keep it. Got it.” Armin sighed “Yes, so, you’ll help?” Eren cussed out a fellow driver before replying “HELL YEAH! You’re talking to a future vet here. We totally need a small creature living with us dependant on us and breaking one of the rules of our home. This is something I would do, Armin, you do know that right? You’ve finally been corrupted.” Eren’s diabolic laughter filled the room. The kitten was still mewling and peeping around the room as Armin sat at his desk. “Yes, I know. I’ve fallen so far. I used to be respectable and followed all the rules. It only took two weeks for me to cave in to your bad example.” Smirking he listened as Eren feigned a hurt gasp. “Okay, Arm, I’ll get what we need. Just sit tight and I’ll probably beat Jean to the room. He’ll either hate the cat or love it. I can hear it over the phone. It’s got some lungs!” Armin was about to reply when he heard a knock at the door. “Eren, I think he’s here so I’ll let you go.” Hanging up Armin threw his phone on the bed and opened the door shoeing the kitten further back towards his bed. He expected to see Jean’s hazel eyes peering back at him, instead it was the same baby blue eyes that had haunted his sleep for days. Erwin Smith was at his door and Armin had lost the ability to speak. 

Armin was so shocked he didn’t notice that Erwin himself was just as speechless. He’d heard the animal noises but had had a long strenuous day and wanted nothing more than to go to his room. It was his fellow RA that had insisted on him checking the noise out that. Upon approaching the origin of the noise he didn’t take the time to check the names on the door. “Ummm” Armin internally cursed himself. Why was Commander Handsome at his door? Why couldn’t he pull it together? “Umm Hello?” At least that was a legitimate attempt. Erwin straightened himself coughing to clear his own suddenly constricted throat, “Hello,” he mumbled, the sound rumbling deeply in his chest, “I’m Erwin Smith your RA and would you happen to be hiding an animal in your room?” Erwin told himself he was definitely _not_ shaking from nervousness, “If not, then I apologize for the inconvenient knock on your door.” His face was stoic and emotionless but inside Erwin was screaming like a little girl about his luck running into the little blond that he had seen at the meeting. He’d been waiting to run into him again but hadn’t had any luck. 

Armin was about to deny that he had anything in his room but the tiny kitten had made its meowing way over to the two and was looking up at each of them whining expectantly at them. Erwin’s heart melted when he saw the little animal. He loved cats and couldn’t bare the sight of both this cute little ball of black fur with its one tiny white paw and the sweet cherub in front of him. “Erwin” Armin’s face was pale and his eyes pleaded. His words came out in a rush of nervousness over getting caught breaking a rule and getting caught by the guy who’d been the material for various vivid day dreams, “….I’m so sorry but it was trapped in a drain outside and I brought it in to-“ just then Erwin turned to look down the hall. Armin tried to catch a glimpse of whatever or whoever was there except that Erwin started waving his arms around and laughing hysterically before saying “Noooo. There’s nothing here. It was me! I was making those noises to just get on your nerves! See?!” And to Armin’s delight and horror Erwin started mimicking as best as he could the tiny plaintive sounds of the kitten. His entire neck had flushed red as he grabbed the door closing it on Armin. Armin stood at the door and listened to his muffled words as he ran further down the hall. “What the actual fuck was that?” He turned to face the kitten as it peered up. It seemed thoughtful before making another short peeping noise. Armin picked the cat up and went to sit on his bed and wait for Eren and Jean to return to the room. “Do you wanna watch some TV, honey?” He turned on their TV and started wondering exactly what could have made Erwin act like that. 

  
**Jean’s Day:**

Jean’s day was a bit more relaxed until he went by the library to grab some coffee and study. Physics was something Jean really enjoyed and his large lecture class was full of other like minded and chill students, save for a corner of pre-engineering students that had come in with club wear from the night before and black Xs on their hands and faces from where they laid on them for a quick nap. His Java lab was going to be a pain but luckily Connie and Thomas were in it with him. Connie was thinking about picking up a computer science minor and had experience with Java from high school. Jean would definitely be sticking close to him come midterms. 

Jean kept thinking about Jeeter and all the ways he could legally get him to leave. Maybe he could slowly start removing his things from the dorm till he came home to nothing? Maybe he could try and “out” bad roommate him? Nothing really seemed like it would work. Everything he did could be met with opposition and revenge and that wasn’t something Jean wanted to deal with. He wished he could embrace fully the revolution grandeur of the French and simply denounce him to a sort of people’s court and overthrow him with a well placed storming of the dorm. As he walked into the library he felt a bit hopeful that Eren and Armin would come up with something, well at least hopeful that Armin would. 

Jean opened the door to the Caribou Coffee shop. He preferred Caribou to Starbucks because he felt their coffee was better and found Starbucks to be full of only the hipster mac types. Though, that seemed like a very hipster thing in itself so he just told people it was the Mint Chocolate Conditions that made him come to Caribou. That wasn’t a lie. 

The shop smelled like warm chocolate and the bustling madness of the atmosphere made him instantly relax. The baristas were rushing around trying to fill order. The sound of espresso pouring into hollow and empty cups coupled with the quick sound of cream spraying out of the can and the clicking of spoons and plastic containers shoved back into fridges out of the way was the musical backdrop as Jean approached the counter. A slim girl with glasses and pale blonde hair with a name tag that read “Rico” was there. She was certainly not his favorite. Her face held a sour expression as she said “What can I get you?” Jean being the equally sour person he is pursed his lips lifting his chin up in a haughty manor. She met his posture with an even more pronounced pout and roll of the eyes. “Mint Chocolate Condition. Dark.” Her small fingers dotted over the board. “Size?” Her tone held little interest. “Large” She finished his order and he paid. “Name?” Jean turned towards her “Jean.” He thought she asked him more to annoy him since she clearly should know it by now. She nodded and disappeared into the mix of other workers.

Jean started to listen to his Ipod as he took a seat on one of the stools. The coffee shop was in an all glass enclosure inside the library by the front desk. The wall he was currently sitting on had a floating desk for computers and books and a perfect view of the WWII section and resources. He loved the library. “Jean! A large Dark Chocolate Mint Condition for Jean.” He twisted in the stool to reach for his coffee off the counter. He held the cup up to his face to smell the chocolate goodness. It was then he noticed that they had written his name on the cup but instead of “Jean” it read “Gene.” He scoffed at the name, memories came flooding back of all the times people had messed his name up on purpose and otherwise. It was a sore spot for him. It was also something that kept occurring by this one jerk of a barista. He knew Rico wasn’t the one to blame.

He left the shop feeling even more sour than before to head back to the dorm. Unfortunately, the sudden torrential downpour soaked him as he made his way to the nearest campus bus. Once on, there was no place to sit so he stood awkwardly between people as the bus rocked to and fro making sudden stops for careless students who dashed across the street. Jean’s mood was reaching a dangerous level. He hoped that once he got to his dorm he’d be able to change in his room without Jeeter’s lingering dark shadow hippie presence, for it was dark and he was everyone’s ultimate dirty hippie stereotype combined with a bit of Mad Hatter flair, there in the room watching Jean. 

He wasn’t so lucky as he opened the door. Jeeter’s plant collection took up most of the room and he noticed that his bed had been converted into a bunk bed. Jean couldn’t fathom how he’d assembled the bed without help. What really caught Jean’s eye, though, was his own red and black hammock strung from one wall to the other in Jeeter’s corner where his bed was missing. Jean then noticed his vinyl collection boasting the likes of The Doors, Pantera, and The Animals and various other rare and expensive albums was separated into stacks. Jeeter rolled out of the hammock as Jean approached the stacks. “Hey, man, you’ve got some pretty nice music. I thought I’d take a few of these with me this weekend when I travel to Sina.” Jean couldn’t believe what he was hearing. _Like hell you’re taking my shit_ he thought as he started peeling off the wet clothes. 

Jeeter was pressed against Jean in no time with his arms circled around Jean’s waist. His nose was pressed into the nape of his neck where he took an audible inhalation of Jean’s scent. Jeeter’s breath tickled his neck. “What’cha think man. Come with me this weekend? We’ve been dancin’ around ever since we met and you ran out last night without explaining why. Its okay, Jean. Love is love.” Jean’s entire body flushed in rage. He reached back with his left hand grabbing Jeeter’s collar and pulling him around to face him. He reared back fist clenched and was yelling “What the hell man!? Stop fucking touching me and being weird, you freak!” Before he realized what he was doing he had already let his fist loose. It connected with Jeeter’s jaw, an awful crunching noise. Jeeter kicked down on Jean’s leg close to his ankle causing Jean to let go of Jeeter in immense pain. Jeeter rushed Jean and knocked him on the floor where he struggled to pin Jean down. Jean pulled his knee up into Jeeter’s gut with a strong amount of force before punching him again, possibly breaking his nose.

The door to the shared bathroom sprung open as Armin ran in just in time to see Jeeter grabbing the floor lamp. Armin launched himself towards Jeeter knocking him down and allowing Jean time to get up off the floor. Jean was still so enraged that he grabbed Jeeter while he was on the floor and dragged him towards the front door. “Armin! Get up! Open this damn door!” Armin ran over the destroyed room knocking plants over to open the door as Jean struggled to toss Jeeter into the hallway. He was holding onto the door frame when Armin pried his fingers loose and they shut the door. 

Jeeter began beating on the door as Jean locked it. “Armin is your door locked?” Armin nodded. “We’ve got to call the RA. What happened?” Jean was still pumped from adrenaline. He was running his hands through his hair kicking things around the already trashed room. “Just call the number Armin. I don’t have time to tell the story twice. I am so fucking pissed off!” Armin ran back into his room with the tiny kitten somehow still asleep atop a mound of blankets. 

Armin barely thought about the fact that Erwin would probably be the one who answered the phone. It rang twice before the same deep voice could be heard on the phone that had been making faux cat noises an hour ago. “Hello, this is Erwin Smith speaking.” Armin’s breath came rushing out as Jeeter continued to try and pry the door open in the other room. “Erwin, this is Armin Arlert…you were just up here about an hour ago. Well, there is a problem with my suitemate’s roommate. He’s gone berserk and can you please, please, please come help.” Erwin hung up leaving Armin holding the phone and Jean cursing as Jeeter almost had the door open. 

Jeeter began yelling disturbing things about how he “liked them feisty” and if he was into this kind of “kinky shit he could have asked.” Armin began to realize that Jeeter wasn’t just a quirky freshman that most needed to encounter to realize the world was a bigger place made of all kinds of people but he was insane and potentially dangerous. Armin checked the lock on the door to make sure it was locked before he entered the other room to help Jean. 

Jean was barely keeping the door closed when Armin added his weight to it. They shut the door and locked it again knowing that even though Jeeter had his key it would take a few precious seconds for him to unlock it again. They heard the key sliding into the lock. Armin moved to hold the deadbolt on the door. It was a struggle against the turning of the lock as Armin kept his grip on the thin stub of metal. It was a tense few minutes that ticked by like hours before both Jean and Armin heard what could only be a tackle of a person outside the door. 

had, in fact, been tackled by Erwin and as Armin opened the door they saw a struggling Jeeter underneath the mass of muscle that was Erwin held securely to the floor. Campus police were also there to take Jeeter into custody and question those involved. Jeeter started wailing and moaning making strange comments and threats at Jean and Armin as he was taken down the hall by the police. Erwin stepped in front of the two protectively ready to take him down again if need be. Eren had followed the police up the stairs and was standing with a bewildered look on his face when they all turned around. He let out a breath that he’d been holding since he’d got there holding a few bags from Petco before turning to Jean with a curious look on his face saying, “Well, that problem just took care of itself.” 

  
**Eren’s Day:**

Eren’s classes had been a mixed bag. Ethics began with the syllabus and a threat to read for the next class period and anatomy began immediately with intense note taking proving that Maria University really did take the Sciences seriously and this was going to be his most difficult course of the semester. His Wildlife Biology class was smaller than what he expected but the course was going to be competitive. Anyone who did well in this class would stand to gain a recommendation from the teacher, a Dr. Grove who sat on the board that accepted or denied students into the vet program. He needed her recommendation and was determined to get it no matter what. His German class was going to be fantastic and he couldn’t wait for the group to get together and study for their first test. He expected it to be his only purely fun class of the semester. 

The trip out to the clinic had been interesting to say the least. Unfamiliar with the campus he almost missed the intersection where he needed to turn. After he pulled up to the new all glass small animal clinic with its drop off points for animals of all sizes, for it was connected with the large animal clinic and thus, needed to act as a common place for all patients, and its brand new waiting rooms that had both human and animal’s comfort in mind, Eren knew that this is where he wanted to be. This is what he wanted to do with his life. After getting back in the car he decided to ride around to where the other out buildings are and that’s when Armin called him.

He knew Armin couldn’t resist cats. What surprised him is that Armin was willingly breaking a rule. Of course, he drove to the nearest Petco and got the supplies it would need. He was excited to see it, play with it, and overall enjoy having a small animal around him. Eren dreamed of owning his own farm and veterinarian practice one day full of animals. Whoever he married would need to love animals just as much as him. They would also need to accept that Eren was a child at heart. He was a handful, a hardheaded strong willed generous handful and his friends loved this about him. 

Eren arrived at the dorm finding a spot only to see a swirl of yellow police jackets filling in through the back door. Campus police rode bikes normally but a team with a car had parked in the emergency area. Confused, Eren exited his car and followed after them thinking they’d be heading through the first door and to the lobby for some meeting he wasn’t aware of. Instead, they started climbing the stairs and Eren started to panic. He could hear yelling from the first floor and what sounded like someone pounding on a door. Jean’s room was right across from the door to the stairs. Something must have happened. As he rounded the first landing he saw what could only be Erwin Smith’s massive form storming through the white wooden door. The loud thump and yelling caused Eren to push against the police trying to get through to make sure his friends were okay. 

Everything went by so fast and soon he was watching Erwin Smith a.k.a Resident Badass Motherfucker taking down an irate scantily clad Jeeter to an internal soundtrack of the bad boys theme song while petite precious Armin with his bloodlust eyes, Armin was no weakling who shied away from violence, stood against the door frame with a long faced Jean in shock. After Jeeter started making threats he felt himself prickle. It calmed him down a bit to see Erwin step in front of Armin and Jean protectively. Who in their right mind would ever mess with that guy? Eren felt a little annoyed that he didn’t get to play the hero but what could he do? He stood there holding his bags until things settled down a bit.

It dawned on him that if the police took Jeeter away because obviously he’d done something bad enough for them to be called then that solved their problem. “Well, that problem took care of itself.” Armin managed a disapproving look. “Yes, but at what cost? Jeeter had Jean pinned to the floor when I got in.” Eren’s eyes widened. ‘Are you serious? Jean? Are you okay.” Jean nodded nursing a sore jaw as bruises started to blossom his exposed skin. “I just want that freak far away from me.” The police started taking statements from Jean and Armin as Erwin stood by and Eren put the things down in their room. 

Upon entering he noticed the tiny kitten curled up on Armin’s bed. Remembering the rule about pets he softly picked the edges of the blanket up creating a protective boundary around the sleeping form to keep unwanted eyes from noticing it. Eren paced around the room waiting for the police to finish questioning Armin and Jean. This was not how expected college life to start out. Erwin stuck his head in through the door as Eren thumbed at the pages of a textbook left open on Armin’s bed. “Eren, may I come in? They’re almost finished.” Eren perked his head up, “Yeah. Um, come on in.” Erwin came inside and slowly took in the room. 

Eren’s bed was unmade with his clothes strung about in a haphazard manner. His sheets were navy blue and his duvet was in reality a plush sleeping bag with what looked like the Jägermeister Stag on it. It must be some sort of club logo Erwin was unfamiliar with. His desk was unusually neat in comparison. His laptop sat in the center with a lamp, cup of pencils and pens, and a bottle of white out on the right hand side. Erwin figured that Eren must be studious or at least believe in a clean work space. He thought about his own roommate and his peculiarities. This would not at all be acceptable. Erwin did another survey before finding what he was really looking for. 

Armin’s side of the room was pristine but welcoming. He had a white shag rug like Jean’s black one and his bed was neatly made. He had pillows of varying sizes all over his white feather down duvet. He couldn’t see his sheets but he figured they were also snow white like the cover. What he really found interesting was the personal library underneath the bed with another mat and pillows creating an out of the way reading nook. He saw such titles as “The Weimar Resource Book,” “Stalingrad,” “The Red Baron,” “Borgia,” The Crusades,” and many more titles that told Erwin he’d have plenty of things to talk with Armin about. What Erwin then looked for was the tiny kitten he’d rescued. He couldn’t find it, or rather, hear it at all. 

Eren was looking at the TV anchored to the wall across from their beds. Eren was flipping mindlessly when Erwin cleared his throat, “Eren, where is the kitten?” Eren’s body went rigid. “Uh, what?” He watched Erwin as a shy smile formed. He voice was low almost a whisper, “I know about the kitten. It’s okay. I just want to make sure it didn’t run out. I can’t really help the situation if it isn’t contained, you know?” Eren’s body relaxed. Erwin knew but how? Instead of worrying about it he turned around and lowered the blanket fort around the sleeping cat. Erwin’s lips formed a round “O” before smiling. The tiny lines around his eyes wrinkling up making him look one of the returning soldiers Eren had seen in the countless documentaries Armin made him watch. He couldn’t help but wonder if that was one of the reasons Armin found him attractive. It hadn’t gone unnoticed by Eren his best friend’s infatuation with the RA, especially after hearing Armin wonder aloud about him the past few nights as they settled in for sleep. 

Erwin walked over to stroke the soft black fur. “So, Eren, I read you three are from the same hometown. Have you been friends for a long time?” Eren’s mouth quirked up at the edges, “Yeah, Jean and I were enemies growing up. We always competed with one another and he liked my adopted sister Mikasa, she’s upstairs, and as you can imagine that didn’t go over well. Then one day we realized that we weren’t actually enemies but friends. Now, unfortunately, the universe has insisted we be even closer and has forced us to live together.” Eren specifically left Armin out, baiting Erwin. Mikasa had mentioned the incident where Armin ran away after the meeting and she thought Erwin was upset that he didn’t get to talk to him. A little matchmaking never hurt anyone, right? 

Erwin nodded taking it all in. He was hoping he’d not have to specifically ask about Armin. He figured Eren would be an open book given what little of his personality he’d seen so he was a bit disappointed. “And Armin?” Eren smiled, “Armin and I are childhood friends. He’s my best friend, actually. He lived with us on and off while his parents were out of the country, they travel a lot and it’s kind of a touchy subject so you might want to wait on asking him anything about them, but then his grandfather moved to the states from Germany when he heard they were leaving him alone and things got better. He and I did everything growing up, boy scouts, school clubs, you name it. He’s pretty much the best person in the world, in my opinion, outside of Mikasa, of course. She’s a whole other story, though.” 

_He’s pretty much the best person in the world_ , thought Erwin. _Well, then I need to get to know him a lot better and see for myself._ The door opened to Jean’s tired face. Armin was holding a bag of ice in his hand and another one he had placed on Jean’s head from where he’d hit it against the tile floor when Jeeter slammed him down. “Okay Jaeger, I don’t want to hear shit from you for a few hours, think you can manage that?” Eren shook his head, “Yeah, just tell me what happened.” Armin started to make a fuss, “Can you talk or do you want me? I know you’re jaw hurts.” Jean nodded, “I can tell’em.” Jean recounted the tale with Armin’s correlation. Erwin and Eren’s expressions were shocked when Jean finally finished. Erwin shook his head. “I’m so sorry Jean. I knew something was fishy with him but when you’re on a campus like this you meet your fair share of freaks or otherwise just different individuals. Singling him out didn’t seem fair but we’d had complaints about his behavior from others in the building. That’s why I made sure to call campus police when I got the call. He’d told a few in the communal kitchen while he was cooking that you two were really close. Implying you two might be beginning a more personal relationship.” Erwin was rubbing his thumb against his pointer finger. Armin watched it as he made tiny circle on his skin. Jean was outraged. “What! Why would he do that? His behavior was insane. If I was ever alone with him for a long period of time while not asleep he’d talk at me but I’m used to faking interest in annoying conversations. I grew up with Jaeger!” Jean stood up knocking his chair over causing Armin to scramble to catch the bag of ice he knocked off. “Did any of you hear this? I don’t understand. My God, I’m here for less than two weeks and this shit happens. Who else does this happen to?!” 

Everyone was silent for a few seconds till Armin spoke up, “You never found him online, right Jean?” Jean turned to Armin his face contorted in anger and confusion. “Yeah! I told you I couldn’t find him. I had all the information that the school sent me in the packet.” Armin looked thoughtful. Eren moved to sit on the bed, “Oh no, I’ve seen that look before. What are you thinking.” Armin looked to Jean and then to Eren. “Jeeter may have stalked Jean on social media. He could have accounts that aren’t easily found. I think Jean’s xbox username and information are linked to his facebook. He had access to his email from the letter, he knew how to find Jean with just a quick sweep of facebook all of that information is there. Not to mention searching for usernames and variations of usernames on other sites…it’s possible to narrow it down to the person you’re looking for or at least a small group that you can wade through more easily. I think that from what we’ve seen Jeeter has some issues outside of just being a quirky individual and maybe he came to school already interested in Jean.” Jean’s mouth opened and then closed a few times before Eren said “This is why I’m glad you’re my friend and not my enemy. I wouldn’t have put that together but you’re probably right. He’s more than likely the type to fixate on something or someone and Jean fit that bill. His behavior was erratic but Jean did say he always fawned over him while talking to him and didn’t he invite you out a lot? Like to the movies? Was that him trying to ask you on a date?”

Jean smoothed a hand through his hair. “Maybe…if I look at everything he did in these two weeks it doesn’t seem like something too farfetched. He did ask if I was interested in having a threesome with him and that girlfriend. But, if he had a girlfriend then…why would he tell people I was who he was potentially dating.” Armin shrugged, “Maybe he just meant “friend” and or maybe he was trying to gauge your reaction? Did you agree or anything?” Erwin butted in, “How about we save this for another time. You could over think this to death right now. I’ll tell the police about Armin’s theory when I go to give my statement again as the dorm representative. We’re supposed to make you interview with potential new roommates but I think I’ll just write down privatize on your sheet and you three will be the only ones in this unit. I would like to formally apologize on behalf of the university, Jean. We never meant for this to be like this and any harm you may have suffered is-“ Jean cut him off, “It’s okay. I understand. It’s probably how Armin said it was and if that’s so it could have happened or would have happened to anyone he was matched with. I just want new locks and I’ll be fine. Privatizing is enough for me, Erwin. That and seeing you take Jeeter down like a badass.” Jean smirked as Eren barked a laugh. Erwin’s face flushed, “It’s just habit. Sorry.” Armin was curious, “Habit?” Erwin put his hands in his slacks. “Uh, yes. I was a marine; I was discharged when I was 24. My fellow RA is the same. We met at basic training.” Armin’s eyes widened.

_So, sergeant sexy in the military._ A plethora of sexy scenarios flashed by in Armin’s mind’s eye before he remembered himself. “24? How old are you now? I think I heard you were a junior.” Erwin smiled, “Yes at the meeting I said I was junior. Nice of you to remember.” His full lips revealed beautiful white teeth as he smiled playfully at Armin. His face was surly red. “I’m 25 about to be 26. I took on a heavy course load and pulled 4 mini summer terms to get to where I am. I’m old. I know. You can call me grandpa.” His deep chuckle caused Armin to laugh as well. “26 isn’t old.” Jean looked back and forth from the two before sighing in sarcastic disgust at them and slinking through the bathroom to his destroyed room. “Eren, let them alone and help me move this bed. I’m gunna make it a queen!” Eren excused himself as Erwin and Armin continued to laugh and blush, stealing glances at one another. 

The kitten woke up and started meowing again causing the two to turn to it and stroke it together. “So, are you going to tell me why you left making cat noises or is that something you just do?” Erwin’s cheeks flushed pink amusing Armin, “Well, no. I don’t normally do that. What happened was the noise had been reported to my fellow RA Levi. He’s a stickler for rules and we had an incident with a large amount of birds last year that caused him to nearly go insane. So, I convinced him there was not cat by telling him it was me making the noises just to annoy him. Boy, did I get a lecture.” Armin giggled, “Thanks for that. I was really confused. I don’t normally break the rules so I was kind of freaking out.” The kitten moved to crawl onto Armin. He picked it up holding it to his chest. “What are you going to name it?” Erwin scratched its back moving closer to Armin. “I don’t know.” Armin’s voice was lower than he expected as he looked up at Erwin. Erwin began internally screaming. Armin’s lashes were long like a porcelain doll and he had no idea what looking up at him through them was doing to his old heart. “It’s a boy so that narrows it down a bit. I like his one white paw.” Erwin picked up the tiny paw slightly touching the fabric of Armin’s shirt, “Call him…little foot?” Armin deadpanned, “Like the dinosaur from the _Land Before Time_? No, Sir. I shall not.” Erwin and Armin started laughing when said kitten turned to meow at them disapprovingly. “He’s so bossy. I think I’ll call him…something like…Commander. What do you think?” Erwin raised an eyebrow, “I like it. But, that’s kind of my nickname” Armin demurred, “you think you can share?” The smirk that appeared on Erwin’s face made the butterflies in Armin’s stomach feel more like fighter jets. “Yeah, just don’t get confused about who you’re referring to.” Erwin then winked.


	3. Roomate intermezzo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night leaves Armin feeling a bit odd.

After Erwin left dorm room 218 that night Eren made a bee line from Jean’s with a sulking and visibly tired Jean following behind him. “Soooooooo” Eren sing-songed as he sat on his bed, “Did you confess your undying love to our RA yet?” Armin shrugged letting Commander on the floor to wander around. “Hardly. I don’t know. He’s probably not interested. I mean, how many cute freshmen are there and what if he doesn’t like guys? I’ll just see how it goes when he realizes he’s my TA in World History on Wednesday.” Jean perked up considerably, “He’s your TA, too? Man, that’s like some porn stuff. He’ll be offering to help you study in private or start writing suggestive stuff on your tests. If you sleep with him, you might get an easy A. Well, in your case you’d just have fun. You’ll get an A anyway.” Jean and Eren snickered like preteens as they talked in more detail about the gold mine that was Armin’s predicament. “Yeah, yeah. You two will never grow up,” Eren tossed a pillow at Armin, “Since when was growing up ever desirable? I don’t want to pay bills and be boring. I just want to work with animals and have fun.” Jean leaned over, “Yeah and I’ll be my own boss for most of my career and when I do settle down into adulthood it’ll be work with kids and I’ll never have to grow up.” _Great, my friends have Peter-Pan syndrome_ , he thought. 

The three stayed up well past midnight chatting. That was probably going to be what many nights were going to be like with them. It was about 2 am when Eren’s stomach started to rumble. “Hey, guys, let’s go to the food hall up here and get some food.” Armin and Jean nodded. They were all really tired but really hungry, too. They’d missed dinner with all the commotion that went on. Deciding that they’d dress for comfort all three pulled on their comfortable clothes. Jean an oversized grey sleep shirt he’d had for years and his red jogging shorts he and Eren had gotten after Six Flags due to the “incident that shall not be discussed” occurred. Eren changed into a long sleeve white t-shirt with the wings of freedom on the back and logo on the front he’d gotten at the university store and his baggy black sweatpants that were tight around his ankles. Jean called them his “hammer time” pants but often stole them when staying over at Eren’s house. Armin opted for a huge baby blue sleeper shirt he’d stolen from either Eren or Jean after they had their growth spurts, white bike shorts, and he pulled his hair back into a small ponytail. He knew Jean and Eren loved it when he put his hair up into a ponytail. It really shocked him but it was what led to the discovery of their sexual inclinations.

When they were all about 13 or 14, Armin would have to count up the months to be exact; a fight broke out between Eren and Jean after a soccer game in which both boys had tried to offer Armin a ride back to their respective houses and Armin had chose Jean simply because he had asked first. Eren was livid that his best friend would have picked that” horse face” over him and had confronted him. Jean was feeling threatened when Armin offered that Eren ride with them and they all eat pizza and play games at Jean’s. This lead to one of the most brutal fights the soccer field had ever seen, but not there last by any means, and Mrs. Jaeger and Mrs. Kirschstein were forced to get involved to break their boys up. Both boys were made to apologize to each other except they became rather vague when explaining the cause of the fight to their parents. It wasn’t until a week later when they were all playing games at their friend’s Thomas’s house that Mikasa let it slip that Eren had a crush on Armin. Armin decided to keep it a secret that he had a thing for the boy that lived down his street named Reiner Braun and tried to squash the new feelings that this information awoke in him. Armin has always like the more bara types but that didn’t stop him from looking at his friend differently. 

It wasn’t much later that he found out that Jean also liked him when he presented him with painting of the ocean from a band trip they had recently gone on. Inside the card he was a note that said “read when you’re alone” in which Jean spilled out a page of words that Armin hadn’t known he had it in him to string together. Eren found the note later sparking all three of them to have an awkward conversation about sexuality and unrequited love. Later Jean moved on to Mikasa when she came back from a summer in Japan competing in a competitive fashion workshop. Armin was all but forgotten in that sense and that was fine with him at the time. Reiner Braun moved shortly after leaving him with his school books and thoughts of what things would be like if he were to cross the line with his two best guy friends. He decided that having a little fun wouldn’t hurt anyone. Jean and Mikasa weren’t officially dating and Eren wasn’t seeing anyone.

It was only after a trip to mountains that year Jean and Eren revealed that they couldn’t handle the sight of Armin in a pony tail. He monopolized all smore making materials from both boys as well as choice pick of trails. Jean almost always carried his pack for him without him asking. Armin made sure to exploit it every time he needed a favor of the two or while in the hay day of their sexually frustrated youth a random make out with no strings attached. Now he was wearing it for comfort to keep his long hair out of his face. The other two groaned knowing he was far too cute for his own good. Jean turned to the door, “You’re sinful,” he hissed out as Eren shook his head in disappointment. “You’re just hoping Erwin sees you and falls under the spell of your beautiful hair.” 

Armin opened the door and they descended the staircase. He smirked “Brunhild sitzt im hohen Saal, goldenen Haare ueber alle” he sang in his pretty choir boy voice earning him a slap on the arm from Eren. They walked to the Wall’s food hall through the various buildings. Their dorm was at the front and the hall was in the back. It was called Terrel and when the trio walked in what they saw was worthy of the passing gossip the other locals had spread that Terrel was absolutely terrible. The floor was oily but there wasn’t a reason for it to be. Off to the right was a large area for eating and to the left was the cash registers, drinks, salad bar and then directly in across from them at the front along the back wall was the kitchen with a small pizza booth and regular counter. A sign proclaimed that after 10 pm everything would be cooked to order and the menu would be limited. Armin was already eyeing the pizza booth while Jean walked on towards the counter where burgers were being displayed. Eren joined Armin at the pizza counter. 

A short blond boy walked over summing Eren and Armin up before nonchalantly changing the open sign to closed and walking away. Eren and Armin exchanged looks like _“okay, well that happened”_ before joining Jean at the other counter. A tall black woman emerged from the back with a list in one hand and a frying pan in the other. “Okay, sweetie, we don’t have any cheese.” Jean shrugged, “that’s okay ma’am. I’ll just take a regular burger and fries, please.” Jean flashed a small smile as she disappeared into the kitchen. “Hey, I thought y’all were getting pizza?” Eren started leaning on Jean’s shoulder, “Yeah, well they apparently were closed.” He made eyes at the boy who walked through the kitchen again and Jean let out a small “mmm” in understanding. “Honey, we ain’t got no burgers either. We got potato wedges, baked beans, and some grilled chicken. You want that?” She waited in the door as Jean just sighed, “Yes ma’am. That’s fine.” She surveyed the others, “You want what he’s gettin’?” Both nodded and waited for their food. Once they got their food and paid they decided to eat in the hall. 

Sitting down at a nearby table Jean stared listlessly at his food. Eren noticed, growing concerned that today’s events probably were catching up with Jean. “Are you okay? You don’t look so good.” Jean shrugged, “Yeah, I’m still kind of freaked out. I don’t know if Armin was right but he’s seldom wrong and if that guy had been cyber stalking me or anything then I’m just….I just feel a little….” Armin chimed in, “Violated?” Jean nodded, “Exactly.” Turning when the sound of the double doors opened all they all made no notice of the dark figure entering in a large black jacket perfect for wet weather in the intense August heat. His or her hood was on and obscured their face as they quickly cut over to the drinks, grabbing handfuls of water and other energy drinks. There was a small issue at the cash register but in no time they heard the double doors open and close with the departure of the strange person. 

Eren finished his food quickly. He checked his phone to see what classes he had for that day. “Thank God, I only have labs tomorrow.” Armin had given up on life after eating all of his food and some of Jean’s since he wasn’t as hungry as he’d thought. He’d laid his head down on the table, baby blue eyes obscured by wispy strands of his bangs, “What labs are they” he mumbled into the skin of his forearm. Eren set his phone down, “Wildlife Sciences and anatomy.” Armin nodded, “Hey, Hanji is one of the TA’s for anatomy. We’ve been getting coffee the last two weeks and she mentioned it.” Jean perked up, “You’ve been hanging with Hanji? When? We’re with you all the time. We’re your friends, you can’t break out now. I feel like you’re cheating on us.” Armin rolled his eyes as Eren barked a laugh. At least Jean’s feeling a bit more like his self again. “When I go biking around the campus around 6 is when they also go running. We started off running/riding the same sort of route and now I kind of look out for them when it comes to the cross walks and afterwards we end at the library and get coffee together. They’re dating Mike, well sort-of dating, and they think that their TA job will either help things or make it worse.” His fingers traced patterns on the table that weren’t there, “So basically, we gossip and nerd out about stuff.” Jean and Eren chuckled slightly. Jean made his way to get up, “We’ve got to go. I am about to pass out. I just can’t right now…with anything.” 

The three made their way back to the dorm in silence. Eren made his way up the steps to slide his scout card that everyone had. It had their student number or what was fondly called by the faculty and students their “cadet” number and allow access to dorms and buildings if you had clearance to enter them after hours. Mikasa had one for the design and fashion buildings and next semester Eren would have access to a small office for his studies if he was accepted early into the vet program. Jean never let Eren forget that he had an entire studio to himself and no matter what it would always be better than whatever closet they were going to stick him in. _He loved how nice Jean was to him._

Armin was at the back of the group as Jean pushed on Eren asking him why it was taking so long and did he not know how to slide a damn card? It was then that Armin felt that odd presence of someone watching them. He supposed that wasn’t too strange since someone probably was. It was a well lit parking lot that this cluster of four dorms shared in the center. It only held about thirty cars. Someone could be looking out there window. But, why then was this feeling so…odd? He couldn’t explain it but it made him nervous. Armin started to scan the parking lot and dorm windows when Eren got the door open. He was pulled by Jean into the building and up the stairs away from whatever or whoever was in the parking lot. 


	4. Johhny Boy and War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean meets the jerk of a barista that keeps messing his name up. Armin goes to his book club causing his to feel left out until lady luck shines her favor on him. Eren and levi will be in the next chapter.

Armin woke the next morning to the sound of his alarm. He had his first lab the same time Eren had his. Both boys were extremely tired as they made their way into the little bathroom. “I’ got ‘ lab” Eren mumbled around his tooth brush as Armin showered. “Take a shower after labs. I got here first.” Eren opened the medicine cabinet grabbing Armin’s hello kitty toothbrush he got as a stocking stuffer gag but actually really loved. “Y’u wan’ ‘his?” A hand appeared out of the curtain, “Put paste on it, please” and then disappeared into the shower. The door opened to Jean’s room, his face was a mess bruised and his hair disheveled. “You two are so damn loud.” He elbowed his way to the sink taking his tooth brush and debating on shaving. This is how they had gotten ready for years when sleeping over at each other’s houses and at sleep away camps and family trips. It was natural, routine, and familiar. Jean was very thankful. This is how they got ready the day after the incident. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Armin arrived at the science lab with Eren after 10:30. All labs began on the hour so Armin took his time admiring the impressive building of many different types of labs and the ornate decorations and embellishments on the building itself. Carved in the stone the length of one side of the building was the DNA helix sequence and the oath of the apothecary. It was a fine recent addition to the campus promising state of the art technology and more grant money. Eren was on his way to his Wildlife Science lab on the second floor when Armin continued to climb the stairs to the third floor for his Biology class. “Meet here after labs?” Eren shook his head, “No, after this one I have another one.” Armin smiled, “Okay, I’m going to go to the library then. I was invited to a book club meeting today and I’ll go from the library to there. Text when you get out, ‘kay?” Eren waved Armin off with promise to text as Armin continued the trek. _I should see if Jean will be free_ , he thought fishing for his phone as he sat down on the bench facing his lab. 

**To Jean**

  
Hey, will you be free after my lab? I’m thinking about going to the library.

**To Armin**

  
Yeah, I’m in my Art Education class and was going to head over after till my studio space came open.

**From Armin**

  
See you at the front, Boo. :-*

Armin shifted the phone away smirking to himself as he heard the familiar cadence of someone running down the hall. Hanji had just arrived and was now waving at him smiling a very relieved smile. “Hello, hello, hello! Am I late? I thought I was going to be late.” Their musical laughter filled the hall as other students gathered around. “Wow looks like it’s going to be packed today, huh Armin?” They nudged him with their elbow opening the door to reveal a very nice all purpose lab. Once everyone was seated Hanj took their place at the front of the room turning on the projector to reveal a power point slide that said “Welcome, Scouts, to Biology for non science majors! Your TA’s are Hanji and Molbit. Let’s get ready for science and Titan slaughter! The class giggled at the slide. The University’s rival was The Titans of Sina University. Everyone despised them and the university. In fact, that’s where most of Armin’s classmates had chosen to go to school. They had a huge fan base that followed the team around mindlessly doing whatever they wanted and being all around annoying. They weren’t a land grant school and thus had a lot of money from donors stacking the deck against Maria University. Most of the fans had never even been to Sina University and they even had programs where you could take a few classes and get a certificate because even they knew how embarrassing it really was to have such a huge base of uneducated individuals representing them. Even so, they were still the big dog in the state. That was fine by Armin and his friends, they preferred underdogs.

The lab went relatively quickly thanks to Hanji’s insight and passion for science. It did end with a trip to the eye washing station for one student and a very upset Molbit, which joined them after the slideshow. He made a remark about having to clean up Hanji’s mess in another lab to which Hanji just laughed slapping him on the back calling him the best and where would they be without them. Hanji had recently discovered a rare virus that caused mutations in rabbits and possibly could cross the species barrier like a type of hot virus and infect humans. Their bunnies Sonny and Bean were their prized possessions and the key to getting them a grant and their Masters secured. They had talked for hours over the course of Armin and their coffee dates with countless slide shows and photos to boot. 

Armin left with promises of catching up with Hanji and emailing any questions he might have about today or any day’s lab. Armin texted Jean as he was leaving and made his way to the Library hoping to find Jean in better spirits and a nice cup of coffee, as well. Armin put his headphones on listening to Casper’s _Alles endet aber nie die Musik_. A little German practice couldn’t hurt. 

**Jean**

Jean’s Educational Art class had been just what he expected. It was full of other undergraduates that had no idea what was going on and varying degrees of art competence. While he was able to easily sift through who was going to drop the class today or not cut it for the strict program requirements there were a few that he needed to watch out for. One was petite girl named Krista who had a lot of promise but some of her submissions reminded him of previously seen paintings but he couldn’t place from where. Her friend Ymir came by to drop off a lunchbox in the shape of a bunny. Jean couldn’t help but think of Armin and his penchant for cute things. He actually struck out and attempted to make friends with her finding out that their studio spaces would be near each other in the art building. Krista was extremely easy to like and talk to. It was crazy how alike to Armin she was from her golden hair and sweet smile to the positive pick ups she supplied at any self deprecating Jean naturally did in conversation. Armin was basically made of marshmallow fluff if you didn't know him as personally as Jean and Eren. Always underestimated and cut throat when it came to games of strategy and sports he had a dark side born out of years of taunting and bullying. As twisted as it was, Jean desperately wanted to know if Krista was the same way. _All that pretty plaster on the outside has to be hiding something_ he mused as he walked to the library sketch book and notes in hand and other supplies in his black swiss backpack.

Jean entered the coffee shop like so many times before. There wasn’t that much of a line so he took his place waiting for the counter. Rico was there but today her personality wasn’t as prickly. She looked at him for a long moment. “You look horrible. Does the other guy look as bad?” Jean shrugged too tired to banter. “Your knuckles tell me yes.” His knuckles were indeed bruised and scabbed from where he’d fought back. A lot more had happened than he previously thought. With all of the adrenaline he hadn’t noticed where Jeeter had clawed at his wrists, where he had punched him in the ribs and stomach. It was a blur to him until he slowly started feeling the aches over the night. Rico darted over to the register typing in his regular order. She stepped over to the side where the pastries were kept before grabbing a gift card and sliding it through the register. “It’s on me. Jean! Dark Chocolate Mint Condition!” she yelled over her shoulder to the workers. “Thanks, honestly.” Jean smiled and walked over to his same stool right by the edge where the drinks were placed.

He didn’t bother getting out his books yet seeing as it wasn’t going to take long to get his coffee. He debated sitting where Armin asked him to but finding a table deeper in the library was much more appealing. He could always text Armin where he was. “Jean! Dark Chocolate Mint Condition for Jean!” Jean swiveled on his stool grabbing the coffee cup. He began drinking and noticed once again his name was misspelled. Now, the other times he could let it go. He could accept that Gene, Jon, Jeanette, Joan, Jen, Jeane, Genien, and whatever other crazy interpretation of his name was on the cup. He understood that having a French mother had it’s draw backs. Most would pronounces his name Jean after hearing his own accented speech or maybe John if they had simply glanced at the name but this was ridiculous. On the cup stood in the same pretty handwriting, which Jean did have to say that it was almost like a professional calligraphers’, “Johnny Boy.” Seeing red Jean stood up and walked over to where Rico was standing. She seemed to understand, possibly after hearing him complain before, and turned to call over a boy from the back corner who must have been involved in the initial process of making the drinks and most certainty the writing of the names on the cups.

Jean slammed the cup down on the counter. It didn’t matter that to many this is a complete overreaction to the situation, nay, that is exactly another reason why it fired Jean up so much. He didn’t care what others thought and yet he did. Rico stepped aside to wipe up the other section of counter since there were no other customers to serve. Jean didn’t wait for the boy to turn around before he started yelling, “Just who do you think you are? Do you think you’re being funny? Consistently, you have messed my name up every time I come in here. Yet, if you would just write it the way you call it out it would be fine. At least pick one fucked up variation and stick with it. What is fucking with you man!? LOOK AT ME WHEN I’M TALKING TO YOU!” The boy took off his gloves turning around walking towards Jean. He had dark brown almost black hair, tan skin that had to be genetic for it was so even and golden he seemed to radiate sun from beneath his skin, and his face and body was covered in freckles. A pair of warm dark eyes the color of roasted chestnuts at Christmas time greeted him and the fine lush pale pink lips curved into a sympathetic smile when he reached the counter. Jean’s entire world stopped. It was like every breath was drawn out for hours as he looked at the freckled angel before him. His throat suddenly dry and hoarse swallowed up the rest of his words until only a small hollow aching rattle came out, pitiful in its existence. He had never felt more shame and embarrassment at yelling at someone in his life. 

The name tag read “Marco” before Jean fully expected to be struck blind by divine intervention. “I’m sorry. I really like your name, actually and because you pronounce it slightly different each time I was unsure how to spell it the first few times. I heard you complain and I kept trying. When you stopped I kind of thought maybe you liked it and I really enjoyed getting to test out my penmanship on your cups.” Marco was still smiling but moved to hug himself with his arms, a nervous habit. “I had the little song about Johnny Boy1> in my head today and I hoped you’d come in.” He smiled fully now and Jean continued to melt. His brain was on the fritz and true Jean fashion it was intent on putting his entire foot in his mouth. His words came out in a monotone rush, “You know the original is Danny, right. Not Johnny. And my name is Jean. Like Gene but not…” and he dried up again realizing how bad he was making this. Marco laughed lightly as he shifted back and forth slightly. “I know…but I was kind of hoping you’d maybe talk to me one day…It was silly and I apologize for making you so upset. My name is Marco Bodt.” He extended his hand to Jean. Once Jean shook his hand he continued to stare.

He could not believe that this angel wanted to talk to him. “I’m Jean Kirschstein. I’m sorry for being such a jerk.” Marco only nodded, a light blush dusting the top of his cheekbones. “It’s fine, you’re obviously having a bad day. Are you okay? What happened to you?” Jean’s face flushed as he picked at the hem of his shirt. “Uh well…it’s complicated.” Marco held up his hands, “Oh! No! I’m sorry. That was a little personal. I shouldn’t have just blurted that out there. I was just worried.” Jean couldn’t help it, “worried about someone you barely know?” He smirked at the deepening blush on Marco’s face before pulling out his cell phone. 

It had been beeping telling him Armin was on his way. “Marco, I have to meet a friend but…could I get your number? Would you like to maybe get coffee sometime?” Marco chuckled, “As long as I’m not the one making it then yes!” Jean handed Marco his phone to enter his number in. As Marco was typing in his number the screen alerted him to another text message. He finished entering his name and number and sent a text to himself with Jean’s name. When he left the message, he could read the beginning of the new one sent to Jean. He’d like to say he wasn’t curious but who is kidding? Everyone is curious. It read **Armin** _“Has my Boo be abducted? :-*”_ Marco made a point to commit that to memory. Jean smiled like an idiot when he took his phone back. “I’ll be in touch.” Marco smiled as Jean turned to leave. Once outside he waved at Marco like a huge dork through the glass walls.

Armin had made his way past the coffee shop further towards the back of the library where he saw Jean smiling like a madman why sketching. “Hey, you look to be in a better mood.” Armin dropped his books on the table. “Yeah…I don’t want to jinx anything so I’ll tell you later. Cool?” The two settled into a comfortable conversation as Armin looked over his reading. “When is you next class?” Armin looked up, “Technically it should be now but the teacher is super relaxed and we will only meet once every two weeks. If we need him for anything else we can either shoot him an email or go to his office hours. It’s a lot of reading and essays.” Jean chewed on his pencil, “So that’s a higher level History class I bet. No way a freshman requirement would let you off that easy.” Armin chuckled, “Yeah, it’s Middle Eastern History. I asked the teacher over the summer to let me in and he agreed. So, it’s sink or swim time. I actually have a book club meeting to go to in an hour. I told Eren to text you when he go out of lab.” Jean scoffed, “maybe I don’t want to see him?” But he was only teasing and the two went back to their relaxing study session.

It was time for Armin to leave to go to the meeting. He made his way to the 5th floor of the command center to a room that was used for Early Childhood Education majors. It had carpet and children’s books lined the wall with a nook for reading. Sign language maps were also present on the walls along with Korean letter blocks. Armin was among the first to arrive as he took his seat at the front of the room. There were three girls situated in the back, two with dark brown hair and one blonde. They were acting a bit ridiculous in Armin’s personal opinion and their choices of topics were also not to his liking. He’d never been popular and thus never really understood some of things that concerned those he’d considered that. They were discussing some sort of dress swapping for the first football game so that they weren’t seen in the same thing more than once. Armin thought that a bit of an expensive lifestyle choice. They also needed a date. Armin could understand the allure of a date but then he found out if they didn’t have one they couldn’t sit in a certain section? Well, this sort of life seem awfully confusing. Maybe it was best he wasn’t popular or at least had not tried to go Greek. 

A few more people appeared all wearing their Greek shirts. Armin was starting to feel out of the loop. Then in walked the last person he expected to see but certainty one he’d hoped to see more often. Erwin shamelessly smiled and made his way over to Armin, almost giddily. He pulled out a chair right next to him, sliding down as he hung his bag over the back of the chair. “Hello, there. I’m beginning to think you’re doing this on purpose. First my dorm, then you take my History class and now here?…tsk tsk tsk…” His tone was laced with playfulness and teasing. Armin was excited. Was that his way of starting up some shameless flirting? It couldn’t hurt. “I could ask you the same thing. Did you get lost? I’m sure there must have been a meeting for dashing and distinguished men in the Eagle’s Nest upstairs?” Armin shot back. 

Erwin’s eyebrows rose in delight, _feisty_ ”I was unaware that meeting was today. Whatever shall I do? It’s rude to leave now, isn’t it?” Erwin turned his body in his chair towards Armin. He was too big to sit comfortably in most desks but these stand alone chairs were great for comfort and getting up close and personal with your neighbor. Which, he definitely wanted to do. Armin demurred, a small smirk playing at the corner of his lips, “It would be absolutely rude. Especially, since you’ve come and sat by me. If you were to leave, I’d be left alone to fend for myself.” Erwin chuckled, “I think you can take care of yourself but I suppose that must get tiring?” Armin had turned in towards Erwin, “Yes, very tiring.” The two smiled at each other lost in their quiet conversation as Dr. Blume walked in.

Dr. Blume managed a smile at Armin before sulking at the others in the room. Erwin started to slowly make circles with his thumb on the side of his pointer finger over by the knuckle. Armin was starting to notice that this might be a tick of his. Something possibly left over from the army. He wanted to ask but was that too personal? Who is discharged so young? Armin had to get Erwin alone somehow. _I have a new mission, it would seem._ He thought slyly as Dr. Blume began introducing himself and the point of the club.

Dr. Blume sat down, “Okay, we’re here to meet weekly and discuss our chosen books. Many of you are here simply because of extra credit. Don’t try to lie to me, I know that most of you probably haven’t read anything other than a headline of an article on Tumblr in years.” Erwin lost it and started laughing fully and openly causing Armin to jerk and flush. But, it was the truth. Taking in the offended faces of a few of the students made Armin start to giggle alongside and Dr. Blume managed another small yet satisfied smile. “So, now we vote on a theme. It can be a period, an author, or whatever. Please write your theme down on a sheet of paper and pass it to the front.” Armin reached for his smallest note book boasting the Captain America logo. Erwin snorted when he saw it earning a wicked look from Armin before asking if he could use a sheet. 

Armin tore a sheet off sliding it to him before pulling out his pen which was baby doll pink with a sailor moon crescent at the top. _If he wants to laugh let him, he’s knows this is bad ass._ Armin wrote his suggestion down and folded it. After all of the slips were collected Dr. Blume proceeded to read them aloud. “Okay, let’s see what abysmal topics you all picked.” His hand started opening the papers, “Nicolas Sparks” Erwin and Armin let out a groan, “Nicolas Sparks…and three more for Nicolas Sparks…and some genius put down simply “books”…um…Here we have the last two “War.” Okay, that’s not too bad. I think “war” should be the theme-“ one of the girls from the three raised her hand “Um, if we all voted and Nicolas Sparks won out then that’s what we should read. You can’t just ignore the majority.” Armin was abosutely dying inside. Erwin pinched the bridge of his nose exhaling.

Dr. Blume moved to slip the papers in the trash, “Well, as it most often turns out, the majority is stupid and Nicolas Sparks will not be discussed here. The theme is war. Who chose war?” Erwin and Armin raised their hands. “Armin, and ?” Dr. Blume prompted. “Erwin Smith.” “Okay, well Mr. Smith I’ll ask Mr. Arlert to offer this week’s first suggestion. We’ll spend two weeks on each book and after tonight each person will need to submit to me on canvas a few options. I’ll pick from those and then add a few of my own into the mix and email you all the books. We’ve got a budget for this class surprisingly so any of you who prefer digital books let me know and those who prefer hard copies let me know so I can get a count and buy appropriately. This first book you’ll need to supply yourself. Okay, what will the first book be Mr. Arlert?” Armin had to think for a bit. He mentally scanned his bookshelf at home, “ _Draußen vor der Tür_ which would be _The Man Outside_ by Wolfgang Borchert. It’s an amazing book and the English translation is great.” Dr. Blume seemed very pleased. “That is a very good book. I’ll send the email out right now to you all. I know for a fact it is on Amazon for pennies or at least one of your coffees from Starbucks. With that, let’s go home. I only can stand two of you.” Dr. Blume started to close up his briefcase and left.

Armin and Erwin chuckled lightly as the visibly offended and distraught students got their things ready. The three girls in the back were speaking about the “social unjustness that had like just happened” and “what even did that kid say? I can’t speak all the languages. He can’t just pick foreign books.” Armin was secretly satisfied that Erwin had chosen the same topic as him. Erwin moved to stand and Armin was able to appreciate him better than when he first sat down. He had navy slacks and a long thin burnt orange cotton shirt. His hair was perfect and Armin noticed a glasses case outline in his pocket. Those pants fit him like glove. “Armin?” Armin looked up while packing his bag. “Yes?” Erwin smiled, “Would you grace me with your presence a little longer? If you don’t have anything else today more pressing, that is.” Armin would have rescheduled his life if need be. “I’m unengaged. What did you have in mind?” Erwin seemed immensely pleased with himself “Dinner and scotch.” With that he took Armin’s bag and they walked out of the Command center towards their dorm. Armin was grinning like a fool.


	5. Magnificent and Electric

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren meets Levi and both form an opinion of each other. Also, there is a part of the story that describes a dog's chew toy and if you'd like to see the inspiration for it here is the link. https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/b3/28/79/b32879f80f4f37a6df3fcf3027ee2bfa.jpg Also, next chapter will be winmin-er-rific and a little creepy...Maybe...

**Eren ******

It is important to know that Eren’s love of animals has been an ever present and all consuming sort of love. He was the boy that kept the fallen sparrow with the broken wing in a shoe box and nursed it back to health. His first dog, Pepper, was there for his homecoming up until he was about 8 when she was accidentally run over in their driveway by a relative. He was heartbroken and inconsolable. She was 14 and blind. A beautiful Australian Sheppard and Dr. Jaeger came home a few months later with a young German Sheppard he named Max. Mrs. Jaeger also came home one day after rescuing a Dalmatian who Eren named pickles at age 8 no one really questioned him. He also had had a herd of cats over his life and a snake. It was always clear that Eren would be involved with animals and that he often preferred them to humans, though only those close to him actually knew that.

When Eren entered the anatomy lab after his uneventful Wildlife Science lab he was greeted to that same screeching noise he’d heard on his first day. _Hanji_ He thought. Turning to see them he was once again caught in huge bear hug. “AaHAahAH Armin said you’d be in this lab. I am so excited. I actually feel like I know you so well after all that Armin has told me. How are you?” Eren took his seat in front of them. “Good, did he tell you about what happened to Jean?” Hanji lowered their head and nodded. “Yeah, actually Erwin did. He’d told us that the guy had been causing some to feel uncomfortable and we’d been keeping up with it like that. It sounded like Armin stumbled onto a possibly if not truly terrifying answer, right?” Eren’s eye widened, “Yeah, actually after he suggested that we went back into Jeeter’s room and he had all of his electronics locked and I mean super locked. It was like, worse than the system’s my dad uses for patient information at his hospital. Unfortunately, a police officer and Erwin are supposed to be removing his stuff from Jean’s room so we won’t be able to poke around anymore.” Hanji’s eyes widened behind their goggles, “Your dad owns a hospital? Which one!?” Eren laughed, “Shiganshina Hospital. I actually told my dad about you and he wants to talk to you whenever you’re free. If you’re not interested in a job then he’d still like to talk to you about your research with the rabbits. I hope you don’t mind but I checked out your research while at the small animal clinic. I’d love to talk to you more about it as well.” Eren scribbled down his father’s phone number sliding it to Hanji. “Eren! Yes! I would love to talk to about Sonny and Bean. My precious little babies. I- OWW!” Hanji’s hands flew up to rub a spot on the back of their head that someone had just hit. A low monotone voice started, “We don’t have time shit head. We’ve got a class to teach and he probably doesn’t have the time it’ll take for you to finish your story.” Eren was shocked by what had just happened. He looked over to see who had the nerve to hit Hanji. A short but very muscular man with jet black hair and steel grey eyes made his way behind them over to the other seat in front of the projector. He had on a tight grey micro fiber running shirt, black cargo pants, and black steal toe boots. His skin was naturally pale but slightly flushed, most likely from running. Eren was still upset that he was so rude to Hanji but all was almost completely forgotten and forgiven when he noticed the black German Sheppard he had with him. 

The dog was absolutely stunning. Eren’s eyes appraised how clean it was and shiny its fur was. Healthy and alert is how he would describe this dog. He would also describe it as a damn good service dog. The blue leash and vest told him as much but this dog wasn’t the average support dog. It had military training as well from the tag dangling from its collar and its overall demeanor. Hanji was talking loudly, waiving their arms around, practically begging for attention from the man and everyone else but Eren was lost. He was lost the moment that animal walked in. 

The slide show began stating that Hanji and Levi, that name sounded familiar, would be their TAs. Both had past medical experience and if anyone wanted more detail on a subject or to ask how this or that applied in the working world then they could shoot them an email or talk at their office hours. Levi, however, made a point of telling them they’d be better off asking Hanji things and that if they did come to him he wouldn’t talk about anything that had to do with his private life or past work. He wasn’t an open book. Eren thought that seemed rather familiar too but the dog had begun to pant and its face looked like it was smiling and Eren was lost again. 

When it came time to start actually doing the lab Eren, who normally is very good at just about anything, was completely lost. He ended up half-assing most of it until someone made a comment about how they had found a fellow half-asser and then the game was set. He finished strongly yielding an almost perfect score on the end of lab quiz but soon fell back into the black hole of cuteness that was the dog. Hanji was talking with other students while Eren waited. He’d hoped to talk to them about their research since he was finished for the day. Instead, he too was hit, albeit lightly, on the back of the head. “Oy, if you keep staring at my dog you’re going to fail.” Levi was standing glaring down at him with an emotionless face. “I-I’m sorry. I can’t help it. I love animals so much. He’s a service dog from the leash but was he also in the military?” Levi cocked his head to the side taking in the boy before him. “He was. How could you tell?” Eren shrugged, “He’s behaved but there’s just a difference in him from some of the other service dogs I’ve worked with. He’s also built and would be perfect for rough work.” Eren was smiling while staring at the dog again. Levi felt his lip twitch. _This is the kid Hanji and Erwin wanted me to meet? This kid with the dumb smile…_ Levi was amused if not a little unsure if that was a good amused or annoyed amused, for in Levi world you can be annoyed and amused at the same time. 

”Well, you’ll be seeing a lot of him. I’m also your RA. You live with shota delight and two tone hair boy, right?”Eren’s gaze snapped back up. _This is Levi?! This is the guy who has been missing for days and wrote those fucking hardcore rules?_ Eren stood up, “Yeah, I’d hate to know what you call me. Hahaha” Levi continued to stare. “I don’t call you anything.” _My friends left out any real specific characteristics. Now I have plenty of things to call you,_ he thought. “I’ve only heard of you through Hanji and Erwin.” Eren started to smile. “Really? What did you hear?” Eren was getting an ego boost for sure. Levi couldn’t handle such cockiness. _That stupid smile again. What a little shit. He’s so…._ Levi thought to himself smirking internally. “Nothing really, it’s mostly about shota boy and then recently two tone.” Visibly deflated Eren picked at his shirt. “Oh, yeah. Things have been crazy in dorm 218. I think we’re all hoping for a few lighter days till things settle down. I really hate that this happened to my friends but what can you do? C’est le vie, non?” Eren’s teal eyes swam with warmth and expression, starkly contrasting with Levi’s cool and calculated ones. _He’s so…so…_ ”Anyway, I’m very glad to meet you. This is going to be a really good lab what with Hanji leading it. I’m sure something’s going to catch on fire or explode…Um…Levi…ah…?” _He is so…_ “What kid?” Eren shrugged shyly, “What’s his name?” Levi’s brows furrowed, “who?” Then the most rambunctious laughter filled Levi’s ears and body swarming around filling in all of his bad spots warming his soul ever so slightly, “Your dog. What’s his name? I want to get to know him, too.” _Oh, he wants to know what his name is_ Levi thought at he turned to look at his dog. When he turned back up to Eren he noticed that he was giving him almost the exact same goofy loving expression that his dog gave him every day. He opened his mouth, throat suddenly a little tighter, “Donner” he answered a bit quieter than he’d intended. Eren smiled again turning to the dog, “Hallo Donner, I’m Eren and I think you’re great.” Levi stood completely still as his world stopped and then slowly sped up slamming into him with emotion, emotions that were suddenly crashing against the jagged rocks that was his soul. _He’s magnificent._

Levi was pulled back to reality when Hanji put her hand on his shoulder. “So, Eren. How about you and I get something to eat? Are you finished with classes for today?” Eren looked down at his phone checking his schedule just once more to be sure. “I am!” Hanji smiled, “Are you hungry?” Eren was about to answer when his stomach did for him. It was so loud in the quiet room that Hanji merely shook their head amused. “What do you want to eat, brat? Are you opposed to leaving campus?” Both Hanji and Eren looked at Levi who merely continued to stare at nowhere in particular. “LEVI! I had no idea you would grace us with your presence! This is a national holiday, Eren, Levi never volunteers himself for any social activity with people he doesn’t really know.” Hanji was grinning from ear to ear when Levi looked at her, “Take that shit eating grin off your face.” Eren wasn’t sure if he should volunteer a place or not. “What about Niffers? I hear they’ve got the best burgers in town.” Hanji was about to say something when Levi spoke, “Not until they get their health rating up.” Hanji tsk’ed, “Levi” she mumbled, “It was only a 94 and you checked the offense. It was a pan left out that got them 5 points that’s hardly a reason to boycott.” Levi was unfazed, “I will not eat anywhere that doesn’t have a 96 or above. I refuse.” 

Eren felt slightly ashamed and a bit annoyed. He thought that Levi could stand to take the stick out of his ass but he also thought back to the countless places he and Jean had eaten at that were less than reputable. Not to mention all of the nights he had eaten ramen that spilled on the floor when he was playing games. Actually, now that he thought about it, how was he not dead yet? So many bad choices… “Well, then you pick a place Levi. I’m fine with whatever and Eren’s charts didn’t list any allergies to food so…” Eren wasn’t surprised that Hanji had somehow gotten into his medical records. Erwin did have all of that information. “That’s a violation of HIPPA, Hanji.” Levi made the tiniest of snorts. Eren wasn’t sure if he even heard him or if that was simply the product of allergies. His face betrayed nothing. Hanji on the other hand took it as a laugh and Eren watched as her eyes comically grew to the size of kiwis. “My God, you’ve made Levi laugh and at my expense, too. It’s like you were made for this group of friends.” They slapped their knee in delight as Levi murmured, “Let’s go to the Irish Pub downtown.” Hanji jumped, “I’ll drive.” Levi prickled. “I just had my car cleaned at the place you recommended, don’t freak out.” The three made their way to one of the parking lots on campus and piled in to the red infiniti SUV. Donner sat in the back with Levi as Eren took the front seat with Hanji and they were off. 

The pub was located by the railroad tracks in Downtown Maria. The buildings were all built in the 1880s to 1920s with their brick facades and classic trims and moldings. The pub occupied a corner of the building where the brick was darker. It had two floors with polished restored dark hardwood floors. You could access the floors from the outside by a lager spiral fire escape made of black rod iron nestled against climbing vines and an old mural of “Maria’s Tracks, leading the way into the future.” Hanji parked near the front while Eren took the place in. He’d visited many times but had never gone into this part of Maria. It was the more residential and older half of the sprawling city, not as geared toward the young college type but the young professionals who stayed on or came back to live and start their own families.

Donner jumped to the ground walking over to stand by Eren’s side while he waited for Levi to get out. Levi had a quizzical look as he approached Eren and Donner with his leash. Eren felt a little like a child who might get in trouble for something he didn’t even do. “Why are you making that face?” Levi’s steely eyes met his, “I just think it’s curious that Donner never goes to stand by anyone, not even Hanji or Erwin, and yet he just walked right over to you to wait on me.” Eren looked down at Donner for a second and then back up to Levi. Levi could tell he was overjoyed but couldn’t fathom why. “He knows a good thing when he sees it,” Eren bantered while winking. Eren turned on his heels to follow a now laughing Hanji into the restaurant. Levi scoffed, “Whatever kid.” He couldn’t really disagree. 

Entering the restaurant the three were greeted to delicious smells, small talk, and soft bagpipe music. Hanji hummed along as Levi made his way to the hostess station. A pale tall girl with curly red hair, large piercing brown eyes looked up from where she was plotting tables for that nights dinner rush. Levi addressed her softly, ‘Shalom.” She looked up, her naturally stern expression softened but she did not smile, “Shalom. Would you like your regular seat?” Levi shook his head, “Anywhere is fine, thank you.” Gathering up the dark leather menus she led them to a somewhat secluded corner on the ground floor by the bar. Eren accepted his menu gleefully as Hanji asked about the specials. Levi didn’t open his menu, instead he stroked Donner’s head between his ears slowly trailing one from base to tip ever so often in a soothing manor. 

They ordered their drinks and the girl disappeared behind the kitchen’s swinging door. “What are you going to get, Eren?” Hanji was tracing around the edges of the menu. Eren was having a really hard time deciding. “Probably…” He paused looking over the items again, “Everything. It all looks amazing and I’m starving.” Eren really was hungry. When the waitress returned Hanji ordered a Reuben with a bowl of some sort of Irish stew that looked wonderful if the picture in the menu was anything to go off of. Levi told her that he’d have what he normally got, peeking Eren’s curiosity. Eren hadn’t over exaggerated and listed off dish after dish shocking his two lunch guests. 

The Food arrived, Hanji’s stew simmering, Levi’s pan fried chicken with vodka sauce made Eren’s mouth water as he waited for his food to arrive. “Quit staring brat.” Levi unrolled his silverware. “But it looks so good. I’m dyyying…” Eren laid across the table in despair. Hanji took a sip of her stew earning a disapproving look from Levi. “I’m hungry, too, my little hobbit. What else did you expect from me? You didn’t provide me with enough lembas from Lord Erwin.” She snickered as Levi let out another snort. Eren perked up mumbling against the wooden table, “I love LOTR…I love the Hobbit, too. Lembas is the shit.” Hanji reared backwards with a “waaaahhhhh” and then forwards ruffling Eren’s hair with a huge open mouth smile. “You are going to fit in so well! Heheheehehe. We should do a movie night at my house. I have the blu-ray extended editions. Levi has hobbit costume from last year’s Halloween. Isn’t that right?!” Levi rolled his eyes as the red headed girl appeared again. “They got it for me and forced me to wear it to the last premier.” The red headed girl seemed amused by this before clasping her hands together and looking at Eren, “Your food is coming out now. I need to move some of the things off the table.” Eren raised his eyebrows at Levi and Hanji Charlie Chaplin style causing Hanji to giggle, “Oh my vapors! Hahaha” 

The large table top was quickly filled with dishes from burgers to deli sandwiches, stews and salads, and a basket of breads. Eren began to devour the food before him to the horror and sick fascination of the other two. Levi and Hanji watched as Eren finished plate after plate all while chatting away about anything and everything especially about his love of animals and Hanji’s research. In fact, most of the time Hanji spent more egging Eren on and prompting him than anything. “Well, if you really find my research so interesting perhaps you should become one of my lab assistants?” Eren’s mouth fell open in shock full of food. Levi wrinkled his nose in disgust tossing his napkin at Eren before saying, “You’re absolutely disgusting. Didn’t your mother tell you not to show people the food in your mouth?” His deep voice rumbled through the base high pitch chatter of the restaurant. It was a nice voice; Eren had thought that back in the lab. It was hard to describe. It was like the deep hum of a cello string with a cool blue timber that resonated in his mind. It was a hypnotic and grounding thing that Eren liked a lot more than he first thought. Eren felt his cheeks getting hot.

Levi raised an eyebrow, “Well, if we’re done here then let’s go. I need to go to Petco and get dog food and a few other things. Do you mind dropping me off at my car Hanji when we get back?” Hanji snorted, “I’ll just take you where you need to go. I’m free today until Mike gets finished with the cows.” Levi started pulling his wallet out, “How is that going?” Hanji hummed, “Well. He’s happy in mechanical engineering but his heart really belongs to the cows. He’s going to do his thesis work on designing new Silos. The days are long, classes are hard, and he’s often in a sour mood. It’ll be a joint venture with the guys over in Farm House. I just offer support and clean his clothes when he gets home.” Hanji’s eyes were full of fondness as they spoke about Mike. Eren couldn’t help the small warm blossoming of appreciation for that. He hoped his partner would speak about him coming home late, dirty, and tired like that. Levi motioned the red headed girl over, “Here, put it all on me.” He handed her his card while Hanji and Eren squawked in protest. “I can pay for my own as I often do, Levi.” Hanji stated crossing her arms. “I literally bought everything on the menu. You shouldn’t have to pay for that. My parents know how much I eat and give me money for that. They would be mortified if they knew you were paying for this.” Levi rolled his eyes, “I’m sure you cost them an arm and leg” Eren pouted as he continued mumbling, “But I’ll manage.” Levi paid and the three left for Petco. 

After chasing Eren around Petco, Levi was beginning to think that he was raised by wolves. He was chatting away about everything comparing brands to others. He took forever to stare at the animals in the adoption center, allowing Levi a brief reprieve to gather his things. Hanji had run next door to Old Navy, conveniently leaving the two alone. Hanji and Erwin had been pestering him for days to meet the kid. Erwin more than Hanji but at least he had a more subtle way about him. Hanji had gone on and on about how when she first saw him she just knew he’d be perfect for Levi. How someone could just see somebody and think they’d be perfect for someone was farfetched and certainly even less possible when it came to Levi. He would try and not mentally list all the reasons why he thought he was unlovable right as he was with him. Erwin had made him promise to try harder to think of positive attributes of himself and be less critical of others. It was hard. Levi felt like an old dog who had a set routine and wasn’t interested in anything that would hinder it. Donner was all he needed. 

Eren made his way over to Levi grinning like a fool and causing Levi to become anxious. “Why are you smiling?” Eren had his hands behind his back, “I just found the cutest chew toys. Can Donner have chew toys?” Levi was caught off guard for sure, “You found chew toys for Donner?” He ventured watching Eren’s grin grow wider. “I did.” Levi grew even more anxious. Little things like this would start it off, the worried feeling. It didn’t matter if it didn’t make sense, if there was no reason to be anxious, it just started sometimes. It would grow and grow until actual bigger issues caused the anxious feelings to start turning panicky. Meeting new people, which was the case today with Eren, developing a liking of them, which he had surprisingly done, and now a mystery gift was just setting Levi on edge and he hated it. Oblivious to Levi’s internal turmoil he continued to stretch the silence out for an absurd amount of time until Levi barked out, “What is it?!” Eren jumped slightly, wincing at how loud it was. Levi was embarrassed. _Way to go Levi, you scared the brat and ruined everything._ Eren brought his hands around showing Levi three plushy chew toys in shape of clouds. One was snow white with large kawaii blue eyes, the other grey with raindrops and sad eyes, and the last one a deep grey charcoal storm cloud with a lightning bolt. _These are adorable._ He thought. “Can he have them?” Eren’s voice was laced with sweet hope and he was positively shaking he was so excited. Levi couldn’t say no to him. “Sure. Why did you pick them out?” Eren bounced towards the check out calling over his shoulder as Levi followed with the cart. “Because the storm cloud has a lightning bolt and Donner can chew on Blitzen. Hahahaha!” Eren lost it. The cashier smiled giggling to herself and Levi couldn’t help but let a ghost of a smile appear on his face. He started stroking Donner’s ear again but not because he was feeling anxious in a bad way but because he was anxiously hopeful that he’d be able to spend more time with this boy who cared about his dog and was so full of warmth and life. Things Levi was severely lacking. 

Hanji appeared at the window as they were leaving. Packing everything into the car they all headed back to the campus where Hanji promised to get in touch with Eren’s father and with him about the position in their lab. They really wanted the perspective of someone who was studying to be a vet and felt that this would help him when it came time to early admission into the program. They personally knew Dr. Grove and would talk him up when they were with her. Levi unloaded the car while they spoke. Once Levi had everything on the sidewalk he started staking the food to hoist up over his shoulders when Eren appeared by his side and picked both bags up with ease. “You’re strong, kid. It’s not extremely heavy but you acted like that weighed as much as a six pack.” Eren hummed, “yeah, I’ve always been really strong. I always helped move patients at the hospital or when I volunteered at the vet clinic I’d help with large animal transfers and weighing.” Levi opened the doors with his card as Eren spoke.

They entered the dorm as the sun was setting on the horizon. A golden sunset accented with orange bathed the brick building in soft light and made the welcome area dance with shadows. Eren followed Levi to the RA dorm. When he opened the door he saw that there was a small common room with a couch, black IKEA coffee table, and recliner to the right with a TV attached to the wall and an even smaller kitchen set with a half stove, sink, 4 top cabinets and 4 bottom ones and a small fridge. It was immaculate but very old. The couch was a thrift store find from the 70s covered in a flower print. It was very larger with a few folded blankets and new throw pillows on it. The recliner was brand new and top of the line. “Put the food by the fridge.” Eren deposited the food, though he was curious about the apartment. “You share with Erwin, right?” Levi had disappeared through a an opening into the middle of a long hallway with a door for the shared bathroom directly across from the opening in the middle and two bedrooms at opposite ends of the hall “Yeah, I share with the giant. Thank God we have separate rooms. He’s the reason that couch is here. He finds things at thrift stores that he considers “treasure” and I just see “skin flake catchers.” Eren started laughing walking towards his voice. He came to the door of Levi’s room but didn’t enter. 

He felt rude enough as it was strolling through someone’s apartment he barely knew. Except that he could help but feel, oddly enough, at home and relaxed. Levi’s walls were the same white with a green accent wall instead of blue like Eren’s. It didn’t have a window since he was the room inside of the building and the other side was the hallway for the double doors leading to the other wing of residents. His bed was made with military precision: black feather down comforter, three rows of pillows increasing in size till they reach the wall, and at the foot another blanket Eren recognized as a military sleeping blanket that was light weight but could keep soldier toasty even outside in winter. The pattern wasn’t one he was familiar with but he was sure Armin would know it. “What branch were you in or what branch is the pattern on the blanket?” Levi was putting things away in his chest of draws. The bed was against the wall across from the door at the back with a small black boxy table from IKEA and then the chest of draws taking up that wall all touching one another. The room was incredibly small with his desk sitting between the door frames for the closet and door. It was directly on the right when Eren poked his head in looking over it at Levi. 

Levi turned to close the top drawer and laid some treats on his desk for later. Donner had gone to lay on his mat at the foot of the bed watching the two in content. “Marines” Levi’s tone revealed nothing. Eren’s face scrunched up before understanding washed over him,“Oh.”Levi nodded walking around the desk towards Eren. “Erwin said his he met his roommate in basic training. I should have remembered.” Eren rubbed the back of his neck. “I guess I’m pretty oblivious sometimes. Sorry, if I brought something you don’t want to talk about up. That makes sense now about Donner.” Levi scrutinized Eren’s face. He liked true sincerity in people and he didn’t want pity or whining or anything like that. He also expected his private life to stay that way and loathed talking about his time in the military because of the unwanted questions. Eren looked down at Levi, they held each other’s gaze for a long while. “Maybe, I’ll tell you about it. One day…not today.” Levi’s voice was a quiet whisper. The loud silence that followed swallowed them up as they continued to move closer. 

Levi reached out, the first to break eye contact as Eren stood still as a statue. _Is he going to hug me or kiss me?_ Eren’s heart skipped as the hand drew near. _Levi…I think_ The hand was almost on his arm, achingly close as Eren’s world started to explode in flashes and feelings. He felt incredibly hot. _He’s really…_ Levi’s hand gripped the fabric of his shirt pulling at it. “You’ve got fur all over you from the store. How did you even manage that?” His voice was cold as ice cutting through the moment Eren had obviously dreamed up on his own. “Uh…I..Hahaha” he managed a fake laugh and started brushing the hairs off of his clothes. Levi tsked walking over to the chest again and getting a lint roller. “Turn around.” He commanded sending chills down Eren’s spine. Levi rolled the roller over him taking the hairs off of his shirt and pants. While doing so Eren noted that he wasn’t just rolling out of duty but in more of a grooming way, a small act of caring as it would be considered in the animal world. _He’s…Levi is so… _Eren struggled to put his feeling into words. Levi finished, putting the roller away. He walked past Eren as he continued to stand dumbly in the doorframe. Levi was about to disappear into the living room before stopping, looking over his should, and smirking. He said “Are you just going to stand there or do want to come in here with me?” Donner jumped up prancing into the room as Levi’s smirk burned its way into Eren’s mind. He definitely wanted to be where Levi was. _Levi is electric _____


	6. Put your hands on my waist do it softly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin and Armin have dinner to get to know each other better. The night proves to be terrifyingly exciting.

  
Erwin drove a beautiful cashmere white S63 AMG luxury Mercedes. Armin didn’t know what type of car he was expecting him to drive but one like this was certainly a wonderful surprise. How on earth could he have afforded this? It made no sense for a 26 year old student to have a car as expensive as this. His expression must have given it away because once they approached Erwin started to chuckle, opening the passenger side for Armin, “You’re drooling, Mr. Arlert.” Armin closed his mouth sliding against the plush leather seats. The inside was clean and smelled of vanilla and honeysuckle. Erwin walked around and got into the car, turning it on along with his Ipod. Soon the entire car came alive with power and music. Armin listened to the beginning of _I Walk the Line_ by Johnny Cash. Erwin hummed to the tune as he drove.

Armin relaxed into the seat content to remain in silence. The silence was very comfortable between the two until Armin became curious as to where they were going. “Is this a kidnapping or are you going to tell me where you’re taking me?”Armin cast a flirty glance at Erwin watching the corners of his lips twitch as he formed his retort, “To an establishment worthy of your station.” He smiled turning onto a side road. Armin hummed in approval noticing he knew where he was and had a good idea where Erwin was taking him. Soon they were pulling into the small receiving area for _Amsterdam_ , an upscale restaurant where most couples get engaged or can only afford once they are rich returning alumni who want to throw their money around in a “we finally made it” kind of way. Erwin paid the valet to take the car as he walked around opening the door for Armin. Armin felt like a Disney princess who’s prince was doing everything possible to woo him after seeing them in the forest or at the ball. He didn’t mind at all. 

They were seated at a booth in the back near the window. It was a favorite spot for couples since booths were rare in the old building. Erwin sat across from him looking like god while Armin received various envious and jealous glances from the other patrons. Erwin acted as if they were the only two people in the world but he could tell that he was satisfied at the reaction. Erwin noticed many admiring Armin as well and it stroked his ego, he had him all to himself. A waitress appeared, “Erwin! It’s nice to see you again.” The girl was petite and very likable from the start. She exuded a positive aura and her expressive hazel eyes and strawberry hair made Armin picture her as more of a preschool teacher than waitress. “Petra, it’s nice to see you. Not working too much I hope?” Petra shook her head. “Actually, no, I finish classes this semester. Are you coming to my wedding in December? I haven’t received your RSVP nor Levi’s and you know that’s not what I expected from either of you.” She admonished lightly while patting his shoulder. Erwin smiled ear to ear, “I’ve been lax. I apologize. You know the lawsuit really took it out of me. I bet that’s the same thing with Levi. How is Eld?” Petra’s entire face lit up, “Great! He’s home finally from Afghanistan. The only issue is now Oluo is over at the house weekly.” She rolled her eyes. “Anyway, what can I get you two?” She turned to face Armin a bit more.

Her impish smile caused Armin to blush. “I’ll take a scotch like usual with a water.” Armin smiled to himself, _he really wanted scotch._ “I’ll have a sweet tea with lemon.” Petra clutched her receipt book to her chest, “Well, aren’t you just the sweetest thing. Why are you with stuffy Erwin?” Erwin jumped and his face began to flush, “Petra! What does that mean?” Armin giggled, “Maybe I’m not so sweet?” Armin and Petra started to laugh loudly at the blush that continued to pain Erwin’s neck and face. “Well, the jury is still out on that” he murmured casting a playful glance at Armin. Petra turned, casting a delighted glance at Erwin, “Oh boy, you’ve got it bad.” She teased, “Erwin always dines alone or with Levi. I’ll have those drinks out and I know we’ve been talking but-“ Erwin interrupted, “Let’s just have the special.” Armin prickled slightly. A moment of panic about how Erwin saw this going down set in. Armin wanted to wined and dined, made a fuss over, and cared for but by no means was he looking for someone who made his decisions for him because they wanted to have control. That wasn’t going to fly. Erwin looked to Armin, “The special is actually why I brought you here tonight. I get it every time and as long as you’re okay with trusting me I think you’ll be very happy with it. If not, we can certainly look over the menu.” Armin breathed a sigh of relief. _Thank God_ , he thought, “No, that sounds great to me. Can I ask what it is?” Erwin gave him a wicked smile, “Absolutely not! I want it to be a surprise and if you don’t like it I owe you.” Petra grabbed the menus giggling to herself as she went to the back. 

Armin straightened himself in his seat, “What do you owe me?” Armin raised an eye brow studying Erwin’s face. “Whatever you want from me, a new meal, a car ride, free tutoring, etc..” Erwin smirked, tracing patterns on the table top as he leaned on his elbow closer to Armin. Armin was extraordinarily happy. The electricity between both of them was more than intense. They were two fires feeding into one another, flames licking and climbing upwards, blue from the heat and yellow like molten gold. Petra returned with the drinks promising that their food would be out shortly. “Alright let’s play a game. I want to know more about you and I assume you want to know more about me. So, let this be a 20 questions set up but where we each ask one another 10, 5 not so serious and 5 serious. That is, if you agree. What do you think?” Erwin took a sip of his scotch never breaking eye contact from Armin as he bit his bottom lip in contemplation earning an internal groan from Erwin. “I agree. Prepare yourself, I can be quite ruthless as I am sure you can.” The game board was figuratively set.

Erwin cleared his throat, “I’ll begin. If you could be any one in the world dead or alive who would you be?” Armin snorted, “Otto von Bismark. You?” Erwin raised an eyebrow, “That will come out of your 10.” Armin nodded, “George Washington. Who is you celebrity crush or historical crush?” Armin took a sip of his tea, “Caesarea Borgia. Silk or velvet?” Erwin seemed a bit stunned, “Um…silk. Favorite color?” Armin chewed his straw, “It’s a tie between baby blue and powder pink. Oversized shirt or roomy pants?” Erwin smiled, “These are not the type of questions I expected. On me or others?”Armin shrugged, “Either.” Erwin hummed, “On me roomy pants. I like to be shirtless when I relax but I love seeing my shirt on someone else because let’s face it, it’ll be oversized on almost everyone.” Armin snorted. “Favorite music genre?” Armin’s mouth twitched, “Impossible. How could anyone have just one favorite? I like classical music, folk, and spoken word. You?” Erwin nodded, “Classical, classic rock, jazz and blues.” Armin’s eyes widened, “I love Jazz and Blues, too.” Erwin was more than pleased.

Armin leaned against the wall, his hair fell into his eyes and across his cheek. “I love New Orleans. My friends and I would take the train down and stay at the hostel. We’d listen to jazz on street and hit up a blues club that’s no longer there. I’d love to go again soon. Are we on the hard questions now?” Erwin swirled his scotch in the glass, “We have two left but that’s what we really want to know so why not?” He chuckled, “Are you an only child or?” Armin seemed perplexed, “Yeah, only child. Why?” Erwin shrugged, “I was simply curious.” Armin accepted that at face value, “Are you an only child?” Erwin nodded. “How can a 26 year old have a car that fancy?” Erwin blushed, “I came into a large sum of money and will continue to receive payments for the rest of my life.” Armin was taken aback, “that’s what the lawsuit was about?” Erwin nodded, “Yes, Levi and I sued contractors from when we were marines and a few government employees who were also involved and in exchange for our cooperation we were reimbursed for our trouble and will receive a yearly amount along with our GI benefits.” Armin had stumbled into a very complicated situation. “Well, I don’t want to lie and say “that’s cool let’s move on” but I think that’s something that we should probably save for a later time when we’re not in the middle of a restaurant.” Erwin smiled with his eyes, the tiny lines making him look older and more appealing to Armin. “Yes, that’s very kind of you Armin. Eren mentioned you lived with him for a while?” Armin expected that. Eren of course told him that Erwin had asked about him. “Yes, for about 4 years on and off. I think in total I only spent 6 months of those 4 years at home. My parents travel all of the time. They never meant to have kids. It’s not like they’re mean to me or tell me they never wanted me all the time but it’s more of “this is how it is and we’re sorry but we can’t change who we are for you.” My father is journalist and my mother was a missionary. They met in Africa while he was covering a story and they fell in love. My mother’s family is from Germany but she was raised in America and her father left for Germany when she went to Africa. When he found out that she’d been leaving me alone he came back to the states and I started living with him full time. I love my opa more than anything. He’s my mother and father and that’s fine with me. I just wish the situation was…different because the way it is with my parents right now there isn’t any real way to resolve any of my feelings and I can see in myself my own Freudian issues or psychological yearnings and tendencies.”Armin finished with soft laugher and a shrug. 

”You self diagnose your problems? I’m glad that I’m not the only one. I think introspection is important and keeps people grounded and more importantly, honest.” Armin smiled as Petra came with the food. “Okay,” she sang, “Here it is!” Petra put down two plates of tuna. This wasn’t just any old tuna, no, this was fine Tuna that had Armin’s mouth watering. “Sesame crusted Tuna with southern fried rice, black eyed peas and peppers, bok choy, and mushroom ginger sauce.” Armin was in heaven as he tasted the fish. Erwin thanked Petra and watched Armin as he enjoyed his first bites. It wasn’t until Armin realized that Erwin had not touched his food that he looked up, mouth full, that he saw him grinning and very pleased with himself. “You must have been famished. I am glad you like it.” Armin swallowed wiping his mouth with his napkin. His voice was muffled through the napkin, “Oh hush, sir.” Erwin began eating and the two didn’t speak until they were finished.

Once finished Erwin continued with the previous topic, “Do you know what you want to do with your life in the next ten years? Anything laid out?” Armin played with his napkin, “I do. I want to be a professor. I considered law but it’d much rather be an accomplished historian and do research.” Erwin’s eyebrows rose, “My father was a professor. I’m actually planning on following that path myself. History, as well. He was once the president of this university. Thanks to his name and good works I was able to come here relatively easy and even bring Levi with me.” Armin remembered their being a Mr. Smith as the president of the university from his camp Maria. He was very much loved. “Did he retire?” Erwin shook his head no. “He died, murdered by a disgruntled previous employee who is now also dead.” Armin felt like he’d been punched, “Oh, I’m so sorry. Is your mother still…?” Erwin shook his head again. “She died in child birth. My father never remarried. I grew up with her pictures around the house. She sang opera and he would sit in his study and play her records all day long while he worked. He told me that he felt sad to have physically lost her but that he was so thankful that he still had her voice to comfort him and that I’d know her voice. I hope I have a love like that one day.” Armin’s heart skipped a few beats as they looked at each other.

The people in the restaurant continued to chat away while Armin and Erwin shared their private moment. Erwin paid the bill, finished his second scotch, and promised to send the RSVP to Petra as soon as possible. Petra escorted them out waving goodbye as she too left for the night. Armin sat back in the leather seats as Erwin took off. He noticed they were taking a longer way to the dorm than necessary making him feel even more confidant that Erwin might be feeling the way he was. Armin was a lot of things but forward isn’t one that most would label him as. Being around Erwin made Armin want to take control of the situation, he wanted to tell him to pull over, park the car, and let him hold him as he murmured against the skin of his neck as they kissed slowly, hotly. 

Slow and sensual electronic played over the speakers as they drove through the darkening night. It was only 8 pm but the days had been getting shorter and shorter. Now they were closing in on the dorms, “Erwin,” Armin’s voice was timid. He was unsure of himself. Erwin pulled into the parking lot of the dorm. He didn’t turn the car off instead he smoothed his hands over the steering wheel. “Yes, Armin?” Armin swallowed around the knot forming in his throat. “Can I be forward with you?” Erwin leaned back watching Armin, “I’d prefer it if you always were with me, Armin. What is it?” Armin unbuckled himself turning to face Erwin. His hands pulled at the fabric of his pants. _It’s now or never_ “I’m really, really attracted to you. Do you want to make out?” Erwin narrowed his eyes letting out a breath he’d been holding since parking the car. “God, yes.” And with that he unbuckled his seat belt ripping it off to the side turning the car off and grabbed Armin dragging him into his lap.

Armin’s hands came up to Erwin’s face while Erwin grabbed Armin’s hips more fully, spreading his legs wider as Armin straddled his lap. Armin brought their lips crashing together. Their breath mixing as they plundered each other’s mouths, tongues tangling, and every second was more and more like entering an inferno, they were so hot it felt like they were burning up their own air but they continued to kiss and bite each other’s lips, breathless and wanton. Erwin’s left hand came up to tangle in Armin’s locks pulling his face back and allowing him to venture down the soft pale flesh of his jaw and neck. Erwin focused on a particular soft spot causing Armin to cry out and whimper, hips snapping forward and causing Erwin to groan possessively against his skin. Erwin and Armin ground against each other in the car. Their entire focus was on one another. Armin let Erwin take full control, submitting to him as his larger and calloused hands made their way under his shirt and over the skin of his lower stomach and back. Erwin pulled back admiring Armin’s panting face and glassy eyes. 

Erwin brought his left hand around to the side of Armin’s face, his thumb stoking the delicate cheekbones until it found its way over to the pouty lips. It drug across the swollen bottom lip until disappearing into the small mouth to be softly suckled and nibbled on. Erwin have never been more aroused. Just when they were about to return to kissing each other senseless there was a strange noise by one of the buildings. The noise itself could have been anything, though it was the eerie feeling that came with it of being watched. Armin suddenly felt acutely aware of how vulnerable they were and with his back to the parking lot his mind went into overdrive. He hit the lock button on the car before shifting over to the other seat pulling his shirt down and surveying the parking lot. Erwin was alarmed after hearing the click of the lock, “Armin, what’s going on?” Armin shushed him eyes still trained on the shadows of the dead parking lot. “Last night, when Eren, Jean, and I came back to the dorm around 3 am we were having issues getting into the dorm and I felt this…this strange presence like someone was watching me. Of course, I told myself that someone probably was but this is such a…It’s not like a normal “being watched” feeling. It’s darker and…” Erwin took Armin’s hand, “I’d rather overreact and be wrong than do nothing and be a sitting duck for something.” Armin’s icy blue eyes met Erwin’s. They were deadly serious causing Erwin to have no doubt that he’d already ruled out normal paranoia.

Erwin felt the strange feeling too. He couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary and suggested that they wait just a few minutes longer and then go inside. Erwin’s eyes scanned the parking lot. He stopped at one particular spot and stayed trained on it long enough for Armin to notice. “Do you see something there?” Erwin whispered, “No. I was mistaken.” Armin let out a sigh of relief if only momentary. Erwin started looking around the car for something, “What are you looking for?” Armin was getting more and more concerned. “Nothing. I just left something in the dorm and that’s a good thing. I didn’t want to have to come back out, you know?” He smiled but it was a fake one. Armin had used the same smile many times in his life. “Okay. Let’s go now.” Erwin exhaled quickly and both men got out and walked to door. The presence seemed more oppressive outside of the car. Once inside it still seemed just a threatening but as they walked up the first set 5 steps to the first landing Erwin grabbed Armin’s shoulder pulling him alongside him into the main hall of the first floor. “You’re coming with me until you relax. You don’t need to go upstairs and upset your roommates or worse be alone. Stay for an hour or two with me.” Armin moved closer to Erwin as he slid his arms around his shoulders protectively. They found Erwin’s door unlocked and made their way inside. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Eren was on the couch while Levi had gone to the restroom when he heard the door click. Donner stood up from his place on the floor, alert and agitated. Eren was worried about who was coming through the door when a familiar blond head appeared nestled into the body of a much larger blond headed person. Donner sniffed, relaxing a bit as he realized it was Erwin. “Armin?” Eren wasn’t completely shocked to see his with Erwin but he hadn’t texted him back since he went to the library with Jean and Eren had grown worried. “Eren? Why are you here?” Armin’s voice was shaken. He was visibly unnerved. He wouldn’t even make eye contact with Eren and he looked flushed with a purpling mark on his neck. “Why are you upset? Did he do something to you? Did you not want to come back here?” Eren sprung off the couch glaring at Erwin as he made his way to Armin. The bathroom door had opened revealing Levi in a blue loose fitted cotton tshirt and black sweatpants. He watched as Eren stood up to Erwin prepared to fight him if he’d done something to his friend.

Armin shook his head, “No, no he didn’t do anything, Eren, I swear its okay.” Eren didn’t fully believe him. He’d been there for all those years Armin had been bullied. “Armin if he didn’t do anything then tell me why you’re as upset as you are. You know I can tell.” Erwin pulled Armin closer pissing Eren off even more, “We had an incident in the parking lot. Someone was watching us. It upset Armin.” Levi moved from the shadows startling Armin more, “Watching you?” he raised an eyebrow at Erwin. They shared a look Eren and Armin couldn’t understand. “It was definitely someone up to no good. Armin said he felt it the other night when they were coming back from eating.” Levi looked around the room one more time. “Eren, you and Armin should tell your friend that if he isn’t in his dorm then when he comes back he needs to come through the front door and check in with us. It could be nothing but it could be something.” Eren pulled his phone out calling Jean. “Hey, where are you?” Armin looked around the apartment still attached to Erwin’s side as Eren spoke with Jean. “He’s in the dorm with Mikasa and Sasha. He’s going to stay in our dorm room tonight anyway. He didn’t sleep well last night.” Levi looked back at Armin, “I’ll make you some tea.” With that Erwin excused himself to go to his room and Armin and Eren curled up together on the couch under one of the various blankets until the tea was ready. Erwin returned slightly put out that Armin was basically in Eren’s lap drinking hot tea and watching Portlandia on Netflix. Levi was in his chair with Donner in his lap. Erwin knew that didn’t bode well. “I’m sorry, Erwin.” Eren’s voice was quiet coming from his mouth that was nestled in Armin’s hair. “Armin was bullied so much that I just get really protective. I have anger issues, too and Armin is just a really big trigger for me. I should have known you wouldn’t have done anything like that.” Armin turned his face to Eren, “Eren...” Erwin sat down on the other end of the couch. “Thank you, Eren. I understand now. I felt like there was more to it or maybe you just really wanted to fight me.” Erwin chuckled but the mood in the room was edgy and Levi was suffocating. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After leaving Erwin and Levi the two boys made their way up to their dorm room around 10 pm, Jean following them a few minutes later. They three changed and Jean climbed in bed with Armin again. Armin was thankful for the weight of someone else in the bed and the comfort of skin on skin. Jean’s strong arms wrapped around him, his hot breath warmed the back of his neck. Eren’s breathing became shallow and constant lulling Armin into the darkness. He dreamed about Erwin and his hands, his lips, and what his childhood might have been like. He thought about Jean, Eren, and Mikasa and how they used to go out in the woods when they were little and play knights and dragons. He thought about how when the sun would start to go down the forest would turn to shadows, that dusk brought out real monsters that children would be in danger if they were captured by them. He recognized Erwin’s motions in the car as his own. Where he had sought a sturdy stick to protect himself from monsters that lived in the forest Erwin had _seen_ something in the parking lot and he wasn’t looking for a stick, but for his gun.


	7. First Football Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annie and Mikasa save seats for the gang at the first football game. The group is then faced with what they want to do with their long weekend and for most that mean's getting closer to their significant others and a little fun in the sun.

Things settled down into a calm routine. The days passed by, work and school kept everyone fairly busy. Before they knew it, it was the first football game and the three went to cheer on the Scouts. Mikasa and Annie sat together in the student section waiting for Eren and the rest to get there. It was Labor Day weekend and Annie had asked Mikasa if she wanted to spend it hiking in the state park the university was rested against. They had rented a cabin even though the park was only a short 15 minute drive from their dorms. They just wanted to spend time in the woods alone, making fires, and sparring without any interruptions.

Annie was a distrusting person by nature. Her life wasn’t picture perfect in comparison to most around her. Her parents had abandoned her when she was in her when she was 9, stating that she was too much to handle and violent. They seemed to have forgotten that it was only by their example that she equated a closed fist to love. Her only reprieve was an underground fight club she joined in her community in downtown Washington D.C. Surrounded by politics, power, and rich men she became bitter due to her own financial situation and missed out opportunities. She was living in squalor in little Ethiopia going from foster family to foster family when she ended up at the Braun’s home one evening. That’s how she met Reiner, the boy from the south with the thick accent and likable personality.

At first she hated him. She hated his jokes about shoving things up asses and the fact that he prattled on and on about his long distance boyfriend. She hated he was loved, hated that he was poor but not as poor as she had been. By southern economical standards the Braun’s were wealthy but in the big city dollars didn’t stretch far. They’d hoped by having a little extra income from their foster checks it would help make up there difference. A poor decision when it came to actually having another mouth to feed. While she grew to enjoy Reiner, trust him, and even felt the need to comfort him when he and his boyfriend broke up they both developed deep resentment for Mr. and Mrs. Braun that culminated in their fights at the club. 

Mr. Braun worked as a mediocre clerical lackey for a public contractor and Mrs. Braun was a stay at home mom with an online shopping addiction and a hoarder. Reiner’s best friend from back home, a tall lanky boy whom Annie considered extremely weak, had just moved into the area as well, his father accepting a position at the same company as Reiner’s. The three grew more and more disgruntled with their lives as things went from satisfactory to unlivable over the course of the years. Reiner was distracted in school, passing with average grades despite his great potential. Annie skipped but got great marks when she came and Bertolt never applied himself and got by on sheer luck. The three were lucky that they each had made impressions on their economics teachers. All three seemed suited for business and they entered a few contests for stocks and bonds and won. That’s how they found themselves accepted to Maria University. None had scholarships though due to their poor living situations financial aid had taken the costs down to less than instate students but that still left them with bills to pay and loans to take out. 

Mikasa knew Annie had taken the minimum amount of loans possible. She knew that she was making up the difference working but she hadn’t asked where. She suspected she was stripping. While not something that made Mikasa judge her or others who chose to do so, it worried her that the long hours would affect her studies and that a customer might get too hands on. Mikasa just wanted her to be safe. Reiner and Bertolt lived over on Wire Road in MP, acronym for Maria Paradise, a small trailer park and duplex community. They lived in a duplex and Annie had already decided that sophomore year she would move in with them. The three were happy in Maria. They often said it felt like coming home. 

To Annie’s surprise Reiner had immediately recognized the dark headed girl from his old neighborhood. They hadn’t gone to same school due to the way school districts had been drawn up but he asked her about the cute little blond boy and angry hard headed kid. Mikasa told him Armin and Eren were going to school at Maria as well as living with her in the same dorm. Annie listened while sitting on the couch drinking a Sam Adams’s as they reminisced about old times. Reiner was so happy and that made her happy.

Eren’s mess of brown hair appeared as Mikasa pointed to him. “Eren!” she yelled as he turned around looking up from the tunnel to where they were sitting in front of the railing. Eren shielded his eyes from the setting sun, “Do you have room for 2 extra?” he called up as the mass of bodies streaming in pushed and pulled against him. Mikasa and Annie looked around. It’d be tight if they couldn’t get someone to scoot down. Annie glared at a somewhat inebriated boy rushing a fraternity and slamming shakers down on the seats to “call” them. He quickly picked the shaker up as she slid across the metal bleacher turning back to Mikasa nodding. Mikasa called over telling Eren that it would work out. 

Eren climbed the stairs followed by Armin and Erwin. Coming up the other stair case was Jean and Marco. Mikasa raised an eyebrow at Jean as he approached with a smug look on his face and slight blush. She’d heard about Marco over lunch a few days after he met him. They’re schedules had been busy and Jean worried he was being too awkward on text. It would appear that was not the case. Marco waved striking up an easy conversation between the others. Armin and Annie spoke while Eren sat down next to Mikasa, “Mikasa?” Eren looked thoughtful, “Yes, Eren?” He rubbed his hands together before patting her leg, “I love you.” Mikasa grinned, “You felt the need to tell me that right now?” She took his hand. Eren looked back over the field, “Yeah, I haven’t said it in a while. I was just thinking about how lucky I am to have a wonderful family and a sister like you.” Mikasa bumped shoulder with him, “Thanks. I love you, too.”

Jean sat behind Mikasa with Marco, Annie moved to sit back against Mikasa while sharing a brief introduction with Marco. Jean leaned forward between the two, “I love y’all, too. In case you were wondering. I mean…whatever…”He feigned a disinterested tone shrugging his shoulder while sitting back. Marco look at him, “I’m sure they appreciated that.” Jean laughed, “I mean, who wouldn’t? I just wanted to get in on the love session.” Armin perked up, “Love session? I’d like to get in on that, too. I love y’all.” He smiled cheekily as the others giggled. “You love me the most, though, because I’m everyone’s favorite,” Eren taunted. “Actually, I love Jean the most. He’s a good bed buddy, unlike you cover-stealer. I can’t believe I’ve been subjected the torture of being kicked by you since I was a child. I’ve been missing out.” Eren gasped, “Are you saying you want to sleep with other people?” Armin smirked, “Yes. It’s you, not me. Sorry.” The three boys laughed as Mikasa shook her head and Erwin pulled his phone out to take a call.

The group sat watching other students find their seats, picking out those already drunk, almost there, and too far gone. They voted on best dressed when a group of stylish girls came in dressed more for a Sunday social than a football game. Armin declared that he would come to one of these games dressed to the nines and outshine all of those girls. “You cross dress?” Annie’s voice was louder than usual, yelling over the crowed and two people in between, “Occasionally. I really enjoy it but it’s not something I’d do if I wasn’t in the mood. I think fashion is for everyone and something you can have fun with.” Annie nodded, “ I agree, it’s fun and it’s freeing. We should trade tips and come one game together dressed up.” Armin smiled, “You do it, too?” Annie nodded causing Mikasa to feel happy. She was happy Annie was opening up more. 

Erwin finished his conversation turning to Armin and the rest, “That was Levi inviting everyone to the lake house after the game for the weekend. He apologized for the last minute notice but it’s for Hanji. They forgot their own birthday again. We all though Mike did something for them but he was actually out of town on a field trip, so we’re going to head up to the house and celebrate tonight through Monday night. We’ll get the food and you can all ride with us. Anyone can come.” Erwin’s smiled motioning to mostly to Annie and Marco since they were new to him. “It’ll be fun.” He continued, nudging Armin in the side lightly. Everyone promised to think about it. They would need to leave after the game. Luckily no one had anything pressing this weekend and having fun at the lake sounded a lot more fun than doing homework or reading ahead. 

Eren was a little disappointed that Levi hadn’t asked him personally but after checking his phone he found a message from him.

  
**From Levi**  
We’re having a party for Hanji. Erwin will tell you the details.  
 **To Levi**  
Is this your way of asking me to come? XD

Eren put his phone away waiting on a reply as the pregame show started. Everyone started cheering watching the band formations on the field and this year’s hype video about the Scouts. Jean and Marco were arguing over proper shaker shaking form after Jean nearly gouged his eye out. Mikasa and Annie continued to sit watching everything from the comfort of their seats. Occasionally, Mikasa would say something to Annie causing the blonde girl to smile. It was Armin and Erwin that really stood out. Erwin and Amrin were both wearing white blue jeans and white button ups. This was the “uniform” of the Scouts that students wore in differing variations. As long as you had white pants you could pretty much wear any top that you fancied. Eren had an olive green peasant top while Jean had a blue grey button up. Marco, Mikasa, and Annie each had white button ups with personal affects like Mikasa’s red satin scarf, Marco’s gold chain, and Annie’s “Wing of Freedom” pin. They all looked but Armin and Erwin stood out like catalogue models for fan fashions. Armin’s white button up shirt had scout logo cuff links. His boots were polished as well as Erwin’s making Eren’s look like a sham. He should have taken him up on his offer of letting him shine his as well. Erwin had cuff links as well, though they were turquoise and had a matching bolo tie to match. Their golden hair refelected in the lights and bright blue eyes made these two were the type to get on national TV and the jumbotron score board. 

After singing the national anthem the game was began. The scouts won the toss to begin but deferred as per usual. The sun finally set setting the atmosphere for a great first game. There was nothing like playing at night. It was cooler for the fans and made it more of an event than just a game. Of course, for the students it meant they could party the night before, the entire time leading up to it on the day of, and then go out after crashing in a blaze of glory the next day. The team’s assembled for the punt and the kick was good, coming in around the 25 yard line with the opponents, the Settlers, taking a knee instead of attempting to gain more yards. The scouts were famous for their formations. They ran the ball, always moving, bobbing and weaving through opponents and sometimes soaring over them into the inzone. They were truly talented and awe-inspiring. 

The game proved exciting, the score showing 27 to 20 at the half with the Scouts in the lead. Erwin asked Armin if he wanted anything from the concession stand but Armin shook his head no. “After this, though, on our way to the lake I’ll want something.” Erwin pulled Armin closer, noticing they were on the jumbotron again. Eren was standing up dancing to _Coco_ with Mikasa and Jean. Marco was in the middle stuffing his face with cotton candy swaying while holding Jean’s hand and Annie was her normal un-amused self. “I guess that means you’re going to come?”Erwin bumped his hip into Armin, “Mhm, Yeah. It’s for Hanji. I want to hang out with them so I’ll come and have fun in the sun.” Armin watched as the opposing band rolled out their drum major platforms and a line of trombones scurried behind holding their shakos with plumes bobbing. Erwin pouted, “I thought you’d want to hang out with me, too?” Armin looked up at Erwin into his eyes, the lights reflecting like diamonds in them. Armin shrugged, “I guess that wouldn’t be so bad,” stroking the cuff link on Erwin’s wrist Armin batted his eye lashes, “You gunna treat me nice all weekend?” Erwin smirked, “Of course I will. I’m a gentleman.” The second half began with a bang, the Scouts scoring another touchdown running over 70 yards but Erwin and Armin missed it, too busy with themselves than the field. The game ended with the Scouts victorious, final score 38-32.

Mikasa and Annie declined the trip stating they already had plans they couldn’t cancel. They walked back to the dorm leaving Jean and Marco to walk on back towards the last row of dorms where Marco lived. Marco had agreed to come along much to Jean’s delight. He had to grab his things, Jean insisted on walking him to his dorm before returning to his own to pack. Mikasa said goodbye with a wave as Annie opened the door. They climbed the stairs in silence. Sasha had gone with Connie back home for a family reunion and shrimp boil leaving Mikasa and Annie alone in the dorm unexpectedly. Mikasa waited on Annie to open the dorm to her room moving behind her pressing herself softy against her back. Annie’s hand stilled briefly on the knob of the white solid wood door before opening the door to the dark room and turning around to face Mikasa. Mikasa closed the door with her foot, hands trailing Annie’s body. They embraced one another pulling off their shirts panting as they placed open mouth kisses on exposed skin. Annie grabbed Mikasa’s jaw kissing her squarely on the mouth. Their lips moved against each other with purpose. Annie’s tongue traced along Mikasa’s bottom lip asking for entrance which it was gladly granted, as Mikasa moved them to the bed where they stayed until Eren and the others left and they packed their car for the cabin. 

Eren packed quickly grabbing his swim trunks and toothbrush at the last minute as Armin made a quick but well thought out sweep of the dorm. He even went in to Jean’s room and made a pile of his clothes and trunks to be helpful after over hearing him say he’d walk Marco back to his room. Armin liked to be efficient so helping others wasn’t really a chore or necessarily a favor but a way to make things run more smoothly. While in the room Armin noticed that he had that same feeling he got every night in the parking lot. Yes, the odd presence had not left and Armin had taken to coming in through the front door to avoid it until the front too felt unsafe. Erwin had started calling him when he’d be coming back late and Armin would talk to him while he made his way to the safety of his dorm. 

Armin turned on the floor lamp Jean had moved. He’d been having issues sleeping at night and left his bathroom door open connecting the suites. It was no wonder he was having issues if it felt like this when he went to sleep. Armin slowly walked around the bed over to the closets. The two doors were right next to each other both opening from the right with Jean’s slightly agar. At the top of the doors there were two more doors for cubby spaces used for long term storage that were too tall for Armin to reach. No one ever used them for that reason. Armin checked both closets finding nothing of note. It was then that Eren called to him telling him he was going to Levi’s. Armin shut the doors and hurried out into the hallway to catch Eren. He was just ready to ride in Erwin’s car again.

Jean walked with Marco over to the dorm. He was more than thrilled that Marco had agreed to come for the weekend. Their conversations over text had been sickeningly sweet on Marco’s part and embarrassing asshole on his. They’d gone on a few mini dates for coffee and lunch since most of Marcos classes and his shifts at the shop were in the evening. Jean didn’t mind because he’d been staying in his studio working on a sculpture project for his intermediate Sculpture class and Marco would text him throughout the night. Marco was humming some Italian tune as Jean attempted to slide his arm around his shoulders. Marco kept walking forward glancing out the corner of his eye to see a smug Jean, “You think you’re hot stuff, don’t you?” Jean smirked, “Do you think I’m hot stuff?” Marco hummed, “Yeah, actually I do. I also think you’re a huge dork and that shoulder move wasn’t as smooth as you thought.” Jean flushed, “You got any tips?” Marco and Jean stepped over the last bit of green median into his parking lot, “I shouldn’t reveal my secrets,” he teased rubbing Jean’s back and leaning closer.

They got to Jean’s dorm room turning on the lights. “Fuck yeah, Armin. You beautiful soul, God bless.” Jean checked the pile of clothes already laid out and his toiletry bag that had his essentials. Marco entered observing the room, “What did Armin do?” Jean grabbed his back pack he normally took hiking and put the clothes and bag inside. He debated taking his computer and books. “He laid out some clothes and made up my toiletry bag for me. He does that sometimes when we’re all traveling together. I love it. It’s like he’s psychic and knows exactly what I’d want to wear. Eren and I tried once to return the favor and it was a disaster but Armin gets us every time.” Marco let out a small sigh. He liked Armin, having seen him a few times in the library with Jean laughing and talking. He was a nice guy. He was also the very thing causing Marco’s insecurities to flare up. He really liked Jean but he didn’t understand Armin’s and Jean’s relationship and this early in he didn’t want to bring it up and make things awkward. “That’s really nice of him” was all he could manage and that wasn’t a lie but it wasn’t exactly said with the amount of sincerity it deserved. 

Marco decided he’d change the subject to the large bed in the middle of the room. “How on earth did you manage to have a private and this huge bed?” Jean stopped packing. He hadn’t told Marco all about Jeeter yet. He was scared that it would make things strange between them or worse he might not believe him. If he was being completely honest with himself there was a bit of “spoken fears can come true” that Jean didn’t want to mess with. He still wasn’t fully over it and would rather sort things out a bit more before he started telling people about his weird roommate story. But when he turned to look at Marco’s sweet patient face he decided to take a chance.“Well, it’s kind of not a great story. You remember when we first started talking you asked about my bruises and cuts? My roommate was psycho. He attacked me and the police were called. He had me on the floor at one point and was about to bash my head in with that lamp over there till Armin ran in and took him down. We managed to get him out of the dorm room and the police and Erwin took care of the rest. I don’t really like to talk about it because there was a lot of shit that lead up to it and it’s still under investigation but nothing so far has come from it. I don’t know it’s some shit. It’s fucking shit. You think I’m weird now, right? I understand if that’s too weird for you.” Jean became visibly anxious pulling at Marco’s heartstrings. 

Of course, he’d have never thought that that was the reason he was beat up. Jean came off as a hot head who liked to fight and Marco figured that someone ran their mouth and Jean decided to shut it for them or the other way around. Marco crossed the room and took Jean’s shaking hands in his own. “No” his voice was strong and confidant, “I don’t think any of that and if you’re afraid I’m going to run off because you were the victim of a bad situation then you need to stick around longer and get to know me because that’s not my personality at all.” Jean let out a short choked laugh while tears swam in his eyes as one escaped and poured over his full bottom lashes and down his cheek. Marco leaned down to kiss the tear before he realized what he was doing. _Did I just kiss him? Does that count as a first kiss?_ Marco panicked slightly before Jean’s hands found their way, cupping sides of his face. Jean’s voice was low as he whispered, “Thanks, Marco” and it was Jean’s lips that moved to cover Marco’s. At first Marco was too stunned to react. It was like every synapse was firing at once feeling Jean’s soft lips moving against his. _Oh, no…he doesn’t want this._ Jean tried to pull back fearing he’d overstepped Marco’s personal boundaries when Marco pulled him back in, lips moving slowly against his own.

Their kisses were soft and slow. It was comforting to Jean how real Marco felt against him. It was a slow burn of emotion in his stomach when he heard the tiny sighs he made against his skin. Jean kissed the dusting of freckles he could see wrapping his arm around Marco’s waist pulling him closer. Marco broke their kiss, “Jean…” he whispered breathing heavily, “we have to go.” Jean tightened his hold around Marco, “I know. I don’t want to, though. I want to kiss you forever.” Their lips met again, delaying them further. Marco knew if this kept going he wouldn’t be able to stop himself, “Jean, we’re making everyone late,” Marco protested detaching himself from Jean and grabbing his bag off the bed. Jean gave Marco a look, “What?” Marco put his back pack on, “Can I kiss you later?” Jean asked pulling his pack on and walking to the door opening it for Marco, “Maybe, if you’re good.” Marco teased earning a smack from Jean on his shoulder, “What if I want to be bad?” Marco shook his head, “wow, too far.” Neither of them had a care in the world.

Eren and Armin had left their things by the door when they got to Erwin and levi’s apartment. Donner was asleep by the couch when they walked in, he woke up thumping his tail against the floor when he saw Eren. At half time Eren had checked his text messages finding a response from Levi.   
**From Levi**   
Are you that stupid?   
**To Levi**   
That’s hurtful. I just need a little guidance. ;-)  
  
**To Eren**   
You need guidance to infer the meaning of a text message?  
  
**To Levi**   
Maybe I just want you to tell me what you want?  
_Levi had read the text a few times before forming a reply. He wasn’t sure if Eren was flirting specifically with him or if it was just his way to be naturally flirty. Regardless, beating around the bush wasn’t his style. Blunt was all he knew. He could also be a tease, too._   
**From Levi**   
Do you like it when people tell you what to do?   
**To Levi**   
Maybe I do? It depends on the person if I follow through.   
_Levi could definitely tell Eren what to do if that’s what he was looking for._   
**From Levi**   
Come  
Eren shuddered reading the text. He’d imagined it with Levi’s sexy voice commanding him to come in many ways. It was his main focus at the end of the game. He had spent the last few days listening to music that made him think of Levi, thinking about their conversations, and day dreaming about him. He felt absurd but it made sense. Eren was chaotic, childish, and volatile. Levi was calm, mature, and reliable. Eren felt grounded around him. He craved the man’s attention as well. Getting the seal of approval from Levi meant something to Eren, though he didn’t fully know why. 

Armin went to Erwin’s room to say hello while Eren sat on the couch. Donner sat up coming over to Eren looking to be petted. He knew it was wrong to pet someone’s service dog in most cases. Levi was in his room so he called in asking if it was okay. Levi instead asked him to come to his room. Eren got up perplexed, “Um hey,” Levi looked up while putting on his watch. He was dressed in black skinny jeans and a loose fitting cerulean shirt and black converse. “You just come in and don’t say “hello?” Rude brat.” His eyes cut right through Eren. He was nervous,”W-what?” Levi tsked picking his bag up and a few treats off his desk, “Shota delight gets here and runs to tell Erwin hello and you just sit on the couch.” Eren honestly can’t tell if he’s actually pissed off or just fucking with him. He takes it as a little of both. “I didn’t know you needed ego stroking like that. I’ll be sure to crawl in your lap next time to let you know I’m here.” Eren cupped his mouth shut. _Did I really just fucking say that?_ Levi’s eyes widened just a fraction as Eren continued to stand mortified and fully prepared to be banned from the trip. “That’s more like it.” was the reply he got and a small satisfied sounding snort as he walked past Eren into the living room.

In Erwin’s room Armin had settled on his bed texting Jean asking if he was on his way. Erwin had finished packing but was setting up for the other stand in RAs to take over. Someone has to be available 24 hours, Erwin had told him. “I’ve enjoyed my time as an RA but I can’t wait till next semester.” Armin perked up at that, “what?” Erwin swirled around in his seat, “Levi and I have decided to buy a house, a very specific one that is coming on the market next month. We’ve always loved it and it needs a little work but it’d be a good investment if we ever decided to sell it, though if we’re not living in it then we’ll probably rent it out.” Armin pressed, “You’re buying it with Levi?” Erwin nodded, “Armin, Levi and I are very close. Now, I don’t want to burden you with a lot of details right now since we’ve not been seeing each other for long but I’m sure that Levi and I will either live together for the rest of our lives or within a short distance of one another. We get things about each other from our time overseas that we don’t want to have to explain to others who’ll just leave or not understand. It may be that we are able to buy the house but not get out of our RA contracts till the end of the year. In fact, we’re expecting that to be the case.” Erwin opened his arms to Armin making grabby hands. He slid off the bed to sit in his lap, “I’m very serious about you, though. I know we haven’t been together long but,…” Armin nodded, “No, I understand, this feels right. I’m not going anywhere unless you’ve got some serious secrets and even then I’ll need to weigh the pros and cons.” Armin giggled. “I do have secrets but I think you’ll be able to accept them when they come out.” Erwin kissed Armin’s temple as the rocked in the chair cuddling with one another.

Jean and Marco arrived shortly after Eren and Levi settled in on the couch. Levi looked disgusted to be sitting on it but he’d given Eren snacks to give to Donner and wanted to sit by him. Eren was shocked he’d sat down with him but figured it was to watch the dog. Erwin and Levi decided to take both of their cars since everyone couldn’t fit in just one with the dog. Erwin offered for Jean and Marco to ride with him after Levi had already put Eren’s bag along with Donner’s small one in his. Eren wasn’t complaining. Erwin had an amazing car and Armin had told him about so the white Mercedes wasn’t too much of a surprise. It was when Levi pulled up in his obsidian black metallic G63 AMG Luxury SUV Mercedes that Eren figuratively lost his shit. This car only added to the overall badass vibe Eren got from Levi. It was practical, German, and damn sexy. Armin shook his head, “Eren, you have no reason to drool Mister I drive a Porsche.” Both Erwin and Levi looked at Eren, “I can still appreciate a nice car, Armin, damn.” Erwin smiled, “What kind?” Eren closed the back door after Donner hoped in, “Macan Turbo.” Levi and Erwin exchanged glances. “What?” both shrugged, “Nothing.” Eren was obviously being left out of an inside conversation but he didn’t have time to care because they were all leaving and Levi was going to be all his for the drive up.


	8. Big Daddy and Russian Roulette

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stories are told about Levi and Erwin bringing their pasts together for both Eren and Armin. Moonlit drives stir desire for Armin and Erwin.

The drive to the house took about an hour and a half before they pulled up to a sprawling estate. The long driveway was punctuated by cherry trees and the yard was manicured and landscaped with close attention to detail. The plantation house had a wraparound porch. The shutters were black and the front door a bright cherry red with a plaque above the doorbell proclaiming it the “Cherry Plantation.” The group made their way into the house hearing the low hum of music. Hanji was already three sheets to the wind with Mike following close behind. A panicky Molbit seemed to be concerned with something by the stove and Petra along with her fiancé Eld were arguing with Oluo. There were various bottles of alcohol and beer cans on the breakfast island. Hanji was excited to see everyone and made a typical fuss, knocking over a million things and being pushed and pinched by Levi when they attacked him.

Mike gave Erwin a big bear hug, “really glad y’all could come. How do y’all want to do rooms?” Hanji started squawking, “OOOH THEY JUST GOT HERE MIKY, LET THEM REST!” Mike rolled his eyes, “well, some people will have to share, that’s all. So, start picking out your buddy. We’ve got the couches if some people just absolutely need to be alone. All the beds are clean and made and theirs towels and other stuff in the bathrooms so don’t worry. Each room has its own bathroom, thank God.” Mike returned to his beer while everyone introduced themselves. Eren and Petra hit if off instantly chatting away. There was tense moment when they were joined with Levi. Petra and Levi were extremely close given the way she spoke to him. A tingling of Jealousy stirred within Eren, causing him to bow out of the conversation. He wished he knew even a fraction of what Petra must know about Levi. Erwin called them all over to discuss dinner but when Levi left Petra stayed close to Eren.

Everybody was hungry and Erwin suggested they order Pizza if that was okay with Levi. “I know you try to keep things in accordance to kashrut as much as you can but sometimes you make exceptions.” Levi shrugged and said that was fine as long as they got him just a cheese and pesto pizza with black olives from _Lake Time, Pie Time_ and tell them it’s for Levi Ackermann. Eren had found out that Levi tried to observe the laws of kashrut and keep kosher when he was out but certainly when he cooked himself. Eren had joined him for dinner and was amazed to see how he prepared his meals and then serve the various courses. It was daunting for Eren to imagine keeping that kind of a commitment and asked as many questions as he could. Levi had answered his questions but ended stressing that he wasn’t perfect, he defined his faith for himself and tried to keep modern but still hang on to the things he enjoyed as a child. He chose to go to a Reform Temple for that reason. Eren asked him if they could talk about this more and Levi promised that at a later time that would be fine, asking him to shut up and eat his fish before it got cold. 

Erwin took the orders as everyone started back drinking and having a good time. Petra pulled at Eren’s shirt, “So, what do you think of Levi?” Her petite mouth formed a playful smile, “I hear you’ve been spending some time with him.” Eren could feel the blush on the back of his neck, “where did you hear that from?” Petra snorted, “Levi himself. I was really glad to hear that. Levi doesn’t make friends and I worry about him.” Eren smiled, “You’ve known Levi a long time?” Music started playing louder over the speakers, “Yeah, Levi and Erwin were stationed with my fiancé. Sometimes my Eld would go missing for a week or two without any communication and Levi started sending me updates. We began a personal correspondence that turned into a really great friendship; he actually saved my fiancé’s life. I’ll always be indebted to him.” Erwin was grabbing his keys and coat while Armin trailed behind, “Really? Do you mind telling me the story?” Eren needed to hear this story.

Petra told Eren that while out on a routine patrol of the city Eld’s squad came in contact with Levi and Erwin’s. They spent the first few hours together before Eld was called to another area of the city where there was a dispute of some sort. It was all supposed to be routine. No one thought that a bomb hidden underneath fruit in stand on the corner would go off. No one expected it on a sunny day, when they had just had lunch with their friends, when they were just supposed to be settling an argument between two civilian farmers. The three other soldiers with Eld were too close and killed instantly, shrapnel tearing through flesh and bone. He had stopped to throw away the rest of his soda when he felt the intense pain in his chest. He couldn’t hear anything. He just found himself on the ground, watching the smoke clear and billow up into the crystal clear blue sky, he felt nothing in his legs or arms, just the dull thrumming of his blood in his ears and an overwhelming heavy sense of “why me?” 

Levi heard the blast. It was the sickening realization that it came from where Eld was supposed to be that made him tear away from his squad. Levi had entered in as a medic after showing a natural inclination for it and out-performing all of the field surgeons he was pitted against. Donner, his young German Sheppard pup assigned to him for his anxiety disorder and as an impromptu body locator, upon hearing the blast pulled him towards the blast zone with a sense of determination that mirrored his own. Levi tore down the path with Erwin quick on his heels, gun slapping against his back, boots crunching on the sandy road. Erwin’s squad started fighting with a group of insurgents who used the bomb to lure them in while he scanned the faces of the bodies on the ground. Each face scorched itself in his mind. Every one that wasn’t Eld’s put him more on edge for the moment he would find him, see that he was dead, and lead him to tell Petra over a broken static Skype connection, breaking her heart. 

Eld was to the side against a building, out of the way from the road due to the blast. Levi saw him reaching out to him barely able to move his fingers. In a matter of seconds he was over him, ripping and pulling away at the clothing around his chest. He could see there were three punctures, two deep but not as near dangerous as the third piece of metal shrapnel lodged deep in the chest cavity in or touching Eld’s heart. The situation was grim. Eld would more than likely die if he didn’t have surgery right away. Levi opened his field kit that he had customized without the OK of his superiors. Erwin suspected he had done this but let Levi do as he pleased. Erwin hadn’t been the only one Levi to be saved by Levi’s quick thinking and medical skill. 

Morphine was out of the question as Levi poured alcohol onto the area and his hands. He started operating on Eld right there. His chances were so low that this was Levi’s last option and it more than likely wasn’t going to work. He found the shrapnel less than a centimeter from Eld’s heart right against the left ventricle under the pulmonary vein. He removed it, stitching like his life depended on it as blood threatened to fill the cavity. Time was passing by, slowly, in silence. Levi blocked everything out. He didn’t notice the wall he was against littered with pits from shells, he didn’t notice the screams, the flames of a Hummer on fire that had come in as reinforcement to be taken out by a homemade made rocket, he didn’t notice the innocent family three stories above crouched under their dining room table as their windows exploded into thousands of miniature shards that covered their floor. Eld was his world and saving his life was his mission. That was the choice he made. 

They were pulled out, Eld airlifted with Levi accompanying him. He needed to be resuscitated twice on the way before being carted into another surgery to make sure Levi’s one was successful. Levi sat in the waiting room with Donner in silence waiting to hear if Eld would live or die. He looked at his hands, dirty with blood and had what started a long history of brutal panic attacks while Erwin tended to his other wounded men. He found Levi in the corner of the waiting room sobbing, clawing at his skin and tearing it. He picked him up and cleaned him in the only private shower in the building. Erwin was the one who contacted Petra while Levi turned up the bottle in his bunk with Donner by his side. Eren heard the story, obviously enraptured and unaware of the personal reactions of Levi and Erwin since Erwin had chosen to leave out as much as possible and focus only on the positives with Petra. It was still enough to move them. As Petra became teary eyed, he too started to become emotional. Eld looked over brushing her shoulder, “You tellin’ sad stories again?” His smile was kind as she nodded taking a napkin from Eren he grabbed off the bar. “Yep, you know me, sentimental and always killin’ moods.” She laughed sweetly and they all returned to celebrating Hanji while Erwin and Armin were on their way to get the pizzas. 

Erwin drove to the restaurant weaving through the roads illuminated by the pale moonlight. The waters glistened creating an nostalgic feeling as Armin leaned against the window. Soft music, Chopin, played as the trees thinned out towards the bridge. Erwin slowed down over the bridge, “You look beautiful right now.” His voice was soft, sincere and Armin blushed. “You’re not so bad yourself.” They had been flirting endlessly since they had been interrupted in the parking lot. Erwin had sent flowers to Armin, left him sweet notes, he’d even started sitting by him in his World History class prompting jealous remarks from other students about TA’s pet. Armin didn’t mind. He’d always wanted someone like Erwin: strong, independent, mentally solid and a old school. Armin reached over to softy stroke Erwin’s face. His stubble scratched against the soft skin of the back of his hand.

As if they were in a movie, Erwin captured Armin’s hand kissing it lightly, “You’re very distracting.” His voice was gruff, “You know that?” Armin was suddenly extremely hot. “You don’t know the things you do to me,” Erwin turned onto a side street still kissing Armin’s hand, the back, the wrist, his knuckles. They approached the restaurant, parking in the front. “You want to stay here or come inside?” Armin’s face was flushed but sitting in the car alone and away from Erwin wasn’t what he wanted. He unfastened his seat belt as Erwin turned off the car. Inside it was bustling with large groups talking about the game. Many were still in their cover-ups and swimsuits having spent the day on the waters listening to the game over radios or at their houses before boating over. Erwin approached the counter, “I’m here to pick up two orders: Erwin Smith and Levi Ackermann.” The man laughed bringing up two bags from beneath the counter, “You tell Levi to “go fuck himself,” alright?” The man smiled taking Erwin’s card. Armin didn’t understand but Erwin just laughed heartily before promising to do so.

Once outside Erwin asked if Armin wanted anything to drink other than what was at the house. He was going to get some other liquor and sprite. Armin asked if they could get cherry coke or vanilla. Erwin promised him they could. They got back inside the car and drove to the nearest gas station a few miles past the pizza place to get the things. Once inside the car Armin was feeling more talkative. “Erwin, wanna ask me a question and I’ll ask you one?” The road was covered again by trees blocking out most of the moonlight, “Of course. What is your greatest fear?” Armin didn’t have to think long, “Abandonment. I also fear that I could become fiendishly manipulative if I was afraid someone I cared about was going to abandon me. It’s something I actively try not to do. I watch myself closely.” Erwin hummed, “that’s very insightful of you. Why do you fear abandonment?” Armin fiddled with his cufflink, “its text book, Erwin. I expected more of you.” Erwin chuckled, “Your parents always leaving, I would assume. But, did you not feel wanted by the Jaegers?” Armin had but after finding out that Eren had developed some level of feelings for him he’d grown afraid that if they pursued anything and didn’t work out he’d be cast out again. “I never wanted to jeopardize it.” The next track began to play, a Nocturne, “Eren liked you more than friends and you didn’t want to risk the friendship nor the family, that’s smart, tough, but smart. I understand. Did he?” Armin shook his head, “we never talked about it really. Jean liked me too at the time and we all had our fun it just…I never let either of them think it was more than just fun, you know? Jean and Eren had a fling before Jean and Mikasa started dating. That almost wrecked us.”

Erwin coughed, “You three have all…been intimate with one another?” Armin nodded, “I mean, how else were we going to find out about stuff? Our choices were pretty limited, while Jean is bisexual Eren and I are pretty much only attracted to men. We definitely didn’t have many choices. So, we were just friends with benefits when it suited us. We’re not doing that now, if you’re wondering.” Erwin cleared his throat again, “I wasn’t” he murmured provoking a smirk from Armin, “You certainly were, probably imagining it, too. Such a perverted thing to do,” Armin stretched back in his chair laying his head to the side to watch Erwin. Erwin was looking at him out of the corner of his eye. Armin bit his lip, sliding his hand over to Erwin’s arm rubbing small circles. Erwin’s face flushed red, he was burning alive because of this little nymph. “It’s your turn,” he was proud at how controlled he sounded when his very world was tainted in sinful desire. 

Armin continued rubbing small circles into Erwin’s arm, noting how protective of it he seemed. “Can you tell me some about your time in the military?” Erwin was almost at the bridge, “I’ll tell you something short since we’re almost at the house. I was 17 about to turn 18 when I knew I wanted to be a marine. I wanted to serve and serving in one of the hardest branches was something that appealed to me. I showed up at basic training after telling my father a week before I enlisted, he was less than thrilled, and it was hell. It was tough, I mean, I was fit but this was insane. I wasn’t doing too badly in comparison to most but there was this one guy, he was unstoppable. I marveled at his determination. Everything he did came naturally to him like he’d been doing this his whole life. I got to know him while we would take showers. I know, I know, who talks in the showers? We did because I had to ask how he was able to do things that most civilians wouldn’t know was even possible and he told me that everything was easy because all of his mistakes had already been made. I didn’t understand it till one day he told me he’d been fighting since he was a child, fighting to survive. This was nothing in comparison to what he’d already lived through.” Armin interrupted, “It was Levi wasn’t it?” Erwin snorted, “Yes, it was. We were inseparable. I swear he hated me but I really liked him. We were teamed up and forced to work together. We were in the same squad for a while. I was the leader and he was our medic, eventually he got his own squad but that’s not something I want to talk about right now.” Armin knew that must be about the incident that they sued over. “Anyway, so we’re at this bar one night after a long, long day in Egypt. It’s some Coptic Christian meets Hebrew meets Arabian Nights place Levi found. He orders tea and we’re all drinking pretty heavily. When his tea is served he’s excited, and that’s pretty rare for him to actually show emotion but like I said we’re all drunk and so is he, and he picks the cup up and all we hear is this shattering noise and we look over and Levi’s jus holding the handle of this tea cup looking at the floor where his precious rare tea is and not in his mouth and this belly dancer, I’m not really sure what she was if she was a character or you know if this was a bar geared towards western stereotypes I have no idea, but she comes over and is like “I’m so sorry sir” and he just stares at her like “what the fuck just happened” and we’re laughing making it way worse and she asks if there’s anything she can do to make up for it and he just asks for another cup of tea. Well, that’s practical. But she shakes her head stating that he’ll have to pay for the new cup because the tea leaves are so rare and there are issues with imports and exports at this point and he looks around and says “are you serious? That’s shit.”” Erwin and Armin start laughing but Erwin waves his hands, “No, no, listen, this gets better. So, this man comes out and is like yelling in Arabic and Levi suddenly decides to let everyone know he’s fluent in Arabic by standing up and starts yelling back at him and we can’t help but be terrified. Levi speaking in Arabic or Hebrew is literally terrifying. It’s almost as scary as his German and Russian.” Armin interjected, “How many languages does he speak?!” Erwin huffed, “All of them, I swear. It’s insane and makes me extremely jealous. Anyway, this ends up with them bringing out these large metal wash buckets and pistols. They each get into a bucket, a guy appears and puts one bullet in one gun and then they switch it up so no one knows who has the gun with the bullet or where the bullet is in the barrel, and they play the absolute sickest game of Russian roulette I’ve ever seen. They pointed the gun at one another, pulling the trigger, counting down until literally it comes down to Levi and this guy two clicks away from finding that bullet and then “pop” Levi shoots the guy in his arm winning the game. He then is presented with a whole box of that rare tea leaves and when the girl was like “take me with you” or whatever she said I was on the table at this point cheering at the badassery I just witnessed, he just stops, gives her the Levi “stare,” and says in Arabic something that I took as “No ma’am, the road ain’t no place for a woman” and then she burst into tears, falling on her knees and we leave.” Armin’s mouth was wide open as they both laughed pulling up to the house. Armin felt like he’d just watched an action film. He’d never be able to look at Levi the same again. 

Before getting out of the car Armin pats Erwin one more time on the shoulder, “Do you have a badass story like that?” Erwin hummed to himself thinking, “You’d have to ask Levi, he’ll probably tell you about the prank I pulled on our commanding officer in basic.” Armin would be sure to do that. Grabbing his arm again he leaned over and kissed Erwin murmuring against his lips, “Thank you for the story.” Erwin got out of the car holding the pizzas and drinks in one arm and draping the other around Armin, giving his bum a little squeeze, as they entered the house. 

Once inside, it was clear that everyone was going to need to eat and then go to bed. Everyone had drank enough to kill a horse and Hanji and Mike were currently grinding in a corner of the living room together. Erwin announced they were there and were greeted to a swarm of people. Levi and Eren were missing. Jean said they’d gone out to the back porch a little while ago and probably didn’t know they were there. Petra went to get them and everyone say down on the couches and chairs in the large living room to talk, eat, and make fun of whatever was on the TV. 

When it came time to deciding who slept where things moved rather quickly. Eld, Petra, and Oluo already called one room that had two full size beds, Hanji and Mike had the master, Jean and Marco were put together, Eren and Armin, and then Levi and Erwin would take the room Levi normally used with the built in dog bed. Eren and Armin exchanged glances at the announcement of their sleeping arrangements. While Eren visibly pouted, Armin wore a content smile when everyone glanced around to make sure that was okay. Armin was sure there had to be a reason but he also was miffed that he’d not be getting to spend alone time with Erwin after their hectic schedules had kept them apart with only a small lunch and coffee date to tide them over. He was itching to make out with him and release some of this sexual tension. Eren didn’t know if he was ready to be alone with Levi like that but he didn’t like the option being taken away from him right out of the gate. 

The couples split up going to bed and promising a full day of fun on the water. Levi and Eren disappeared to the porch again leaving Armin and Erwin the only souls in the living room. Jean and Marco turned most of the lights out by mistake but Erwin told them that was fine, they’d be going to bed soon anyway and Levi could show Eren to his room. Armin moved from his spot on the couch to Erwin’s lap, laying his head over his heart. Erwin brought his arms around him rubbing soothing circles into his side and arm, “I’d foolishly thought I’d be spending hours kissing you in the dark this weekend. What’s up with that?” Erwin hugged Armin tighter, “Levi and I have issues sleeping. He didn’t feel comfortable sharing with Eren and the couch isn’t a good option. I didn’t want you to have to deal with me yet, either.” Armin nodded, “I’m sorry, you’d think I had never once read anything about PTSD or common issues veterans have returning from war. I’m an idiot.” Erwin kissed the top of his head, “You’re most definitely not an idiot. You sure you’d be okay with a partner who yells, cries, or worse tries to hurt you in their sleep?” Armin had never considered it, “Do you do that? Try to hurt people in your sleep.” Erwin’s eyes were sympathetic, “Sometimes, it’s not often. Only if I wake up the wrong way and am startled.” Armin thought about Eren and how he’d come to really like Levi. For the first time Armin started to think about them as a potential couple, how he might comfort Levi or on the other hand not understand him. He hoped it worked itself out for both Levi and Eren. He hoped Erwin would let him try and help him as well. 

Erwin lifted Armin’s chin, “Hey, let’s not get depressed or whatever. Let’s just go back to part in the car where you were being naughty and biting your lip casting seductive gazes at me. You know that naughty boys get punished.” Armin giggled as Erwin pushed him down on the couch covering him with his body. He hovered over him, drinking in the sight of him bathed in the light coming in from the French doors. Armin trailed his hands from Erwin’s hips up his sides pulling at his collar of his shirt. Erwin placed his knee between Armin’s legs sliding him down onto it moving it to rub against him. Erwin could feel himself half hard and twitching as Armin started to sigh as he found pleasure. He dove in for the kill kissing his petite mouth, plundering it as Armin arched into him. Erwin placed a hand on his hip keeping him pinned to the couch as Armin whined into his open mouth. His sounds were driving him wild and he knew Armin was doing it on purpose. “Don’t be so naughty. I’ll have to punish you.” Erwin’s voice was hoarse and deep as Armin bucked against him pulling him down, deepening the kiss. They were tangled in each other’s arms and legs grinding against one another for what seemed like ages until Armin thought he would burst. “Erwin,” he panted as Erwin continued to suck the same sensitive spot on his neck, “we have to stop or- I’m going to…ahh“ the sentence died, caught in his throat as Erwin pulled back picking Armin up and walking down the hall past door after door. There was a bathroom at the end that belonged to none rooms, used for cleaning up after a long day on the water no one would need to use it.

Erwin closed the door with his elbow pushing the lock and laying Armin on the rug. Armin was painfully aroused and so was Erwin. They started kissing again rubbing against each other with fervor, grinding, and drinking in each other’s soft moans. Erwin was so close but he wanted to see Armin come before he did. Armin’s hands came up to fist in Erwin’s sweaty and disheveled hair. Armin’s breaths were shallow and quick, “God, Erwin, uh..” Erwin ground down with his knee lifting Armin’s hips higher as his thighs began to twitch, “I’m going to…I can’t,” Erwin groaned, “Do it, baby. Let me see you come.” Armin lost it, coming hard ruining his pants. Erwin followed seconds later after feeling Armin pull his hair harder than was actually comfortable, sending chills down his spine. The after effects of their orgasm rippled through them as they laid on the floor panting and sweaty. Erwin moved to roll off of Armin so as not to crush him but Armin held him close whispering tiredly, “I like how heavy you are.” They stayed still for a few more minutes. “God, this is going to be so disgusting when we have to peel these off and change.” Armin said as Erwin chuckled, “Yeah, you want me to help clean you up?” Erwin winked, his face against the rug next to Armin’s, “I think that would lead to even more dirty situations.” Armin said patting his back and moving to get up.

They changed in their rooms, washing away the evidence as best they could. Erwin told Armin to bring his dirty clothes to him and he’d throw them in the wash with his own. When Erwin returned Armin was waiting in the hall dressed in pajamas covered with bunnies. “Kisses good night?” he asked innocently, “You’re wearing children’s pajamas.” He teased swooping down to kiss him, “Erwin, I liked what you said” Armin played with Erwin’s hoodie strings. Erwin furrowed his brow, “What did I say?” Armin let out a short laugh, “When you called my baby.” He whispered stepping up on his tip toes to kiss beneath his jaw, “Well, you are my baby.” Erwin wrapped his arms around him. Armin sighed looking up through his long lashes, “can I call you something? I’ve been thinking about it since the night we made out in your car.” Erwin swayed them side to side, “What’cha wanna call me, baby?” Armin blushed, “Don’t make fun of me. If you don’t like it that’s fine, but can I call you daddy?” Erwin stopped swaying; he was suddenly so quiet Armin feared he’d destroyed everything. He wasn’t oblivious that this was the sort of kink that could really repulse some people. It wasn’t like he was to going take it to the lengths some people did. He just thought of his older boyfriend as being a type of “big daddy” persona. Suddenly, Erwin was chuckling, full body rumbling and shaking. “Oh, if you want to call me daddy, then that’s fine. It took me a second to think about it but I’d really get off on you calling me that. What does that say about our issues with our parents?” Erwin continued to laugh as Armin nuzzled into him, “I don’t know, well I mean there are explanations but I don’t think we should over think it to death. I’m not expecting you to treat me like a 10 year old, let me just put that out there.” Erwin chuckled again, “To each his own. To each his own.” Erwin kissed Armin again telling him to hop on off to bed and promised to spoil his baby rotten in the morning. Armin fell sleep before Eren came back, sated and blissfully happy. 


	9. Hene ma Tov

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***there is smut in this chapter and I have since updated the rating of the fic***
> 
> A little friendly competition never hurt anyone. Each of the couples get closer and more intimate. Levi is rememinded of a haunting meledoy (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_iHV36-msVY if you'd like to hear it for yourself) and Armin finds out a secret about Erwin.

The water was cold this early in the morning as he swam. He made long strokes, his body cut through the water like a pair of tailor's scissors cutting fabric for a beautiful dress, practiced, determined, sure. The sun, pale yellow, kissed the tops of the mountains as he broke the water.  
_Stroke, stroke, stroke._  
It reminded him of early mornings, walking to shul in France before they were forced to come to the states, leaving it behind, leaving the music of the beautifully talented cantor behind.  
  
_Hinneh mah Tov umah naʿiym_  
_sheveth aḥiym gam yaḥadh_  
He once heard a woman in Eygpt sing, her long unbraided hair was like a veil, she sounded so beautiful that he cried.  
  
_Hinneh mah Tov umah naʿiym_  
_sheveth aḥiym gam yaḥadh_  
He never knew something could stay hidden from him for so long and return so quickly. Her voice was deep, familiar. It rang out in jubilation.  
  
_Hinneh mah Tov umah naʿiym_  
_sheveth aḥiym gam yaḥadh_  
_Lei lei lei leiiiiidaaa ahhha ahhhh aaaaa_  
He put his head down, plunging deeper under the water as it rang in his ears, memories of the day, the day he started to turn back.  
  
_Hinneh mah Tov, Hinneh mah Tov, uman na'iym sheveth aḥiym gam yaḥad_  
  
To turn his face back to **God.**  
  
_Hinneh mah Tov umah naʿiym sheveth aḥiym gam yaḥadh HA HA_  
  
The water held him as he sank deeper, deeper, and then he opened his eyes. Blue water and something deeper towards the bottom reaching up to him, reaching for him causing him to squint in frustration.  
  
_Hinneh mah Tov umah naʿiym sheveth aḥiym gam yaḥad,_  
Hinneh mah Tov umah naʿiym sheveth aḥiym gam yaḥad  
LeiiEII leeii leieieieieiei  
Just before the last note he realized it was the arms and hands of his own humanity, the weight of his ancestors, and worst of all the soldiers he’d never been able to save.  
  
_Leeeee EI_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Armin found Levi exploding out of the water gasping, his skin glistened as the water rolled off the porcelain flesh. His inky hair framed his face as full pink lips parted with an inhalation, “ahh,” before he opened panicked eyes wide with terror. Armin slowly got into the water as not to alarm him, swimming over as Levi’s breathing came in shallow and labored. Levi noticed Armin, waving him off in an attempt to deny help but Armin simply floated over, his hair in a small pony tail and features smooth as took hold of Levi’s hand, applying pressure with his thumb to his palm, a pressure point known to relieve tension. “Would you like to just float around out to the middle or stay here?” Levi nodded and they slowly made their way further out, Armin held Levi’s hand under the water offering him something to focus on other than the hundred of ghosts at the bottom of the lake. 

Eren found them outside after he woke up alone in an empty bed in a strange place with Donner scratching at the door. He came out on the pier looking at a little blond dot next to a little black dot and figured he’d join them. Stripping off his pajama bottoms and shirt he slipped into the water with just his briefs on making his way quietly over to them. The water refreshed him, making him notice for the first time Levi looked different. His face was tired, dark circles under his eyes, but the corners of his lips dropped slightly, causing him to look genuinely sad instead of just displeased. Eren wanted to know what had upset him. 

Armin was talking to him soothingly like he did Eren when he got upset. Levi had calmed down considerably by the time Eren approached them, concern clear on his face. “Don’t look at me like that, brat. “ It lacked its usual blunt edge but Eren was just glad he was still acting somewhat like himself. “I can look if I want to.” He grinned swimming in a circle around them as Armin floated on his back. “Remember when we were kids and you taught me how to swim?” Eren laughed, “I remember it not being the safest thing. But, when is anything I do ever without a hint of danger?” 

Armin told Levi that when they were growing up Armin was scared of the water but after a trip to the beach he developed a love of it and didn’t want to be afraid of it. He was staying at the Jaeger’s and asked if Mr. Jaeger would teach him how to swim. He said he would but was called in to work leaving Eren with the task of teaching him how to float. Armin had his floaties Mrs. Jaeger got him and his Pokémon swim trunks on when he went to wait by the swimming pool. Eren instead, thought that a sink or swim approach would be better and took him out to the pond and threw him in coaching from the side and taking years off Armin’s life. Levi smirked rolling his eyes at Eren as Eren laughed heartily nearly drowning himself. Levi swam over splashing Eren, “You’ll drain the lake if you keep your mouth open like that.”

Armin felt like a second wheel as he saw the way Eren smiled shyly back at Levi. Levi seemed to be okay now so he said goodbye leaving them to float in the water as he did laps before returning to the pier and going inside. Levi and Eren swam closer the tips of their fingers sometimes grazing against one another. “I was worried about you.” Eren whispered as Levi came by, his mouth grazing his shoulder. Eren went under, wetting his hair and wiping the water off his face.   
Levi raised an eyebrow, “You were?”   
“Yeah, Donner woke me up and I couldn’t find you.”  
”He woke you up? What have you done to my dog? That’s not at all like him.”  
Eren snorted, “He likes me.”  
”He’s not the only one.” Levi swam away from Eren turning towards the pier, “I’ll race you.” Eren hoped his voice didn’t crack when he agreed. They raced towards the pier, Levi’s words lingering between them. One anxious to know if he’d made the wrong move, been to forward, the other shocked that the feeling was mutual and there was hope.

Eren beat Levi by a fraction of a second. His hands grabbed the smooth rubber around the edges of the pier searching for Levi. He heard Levi leaving the water, looked up to take in the sight of what was possibly the most arousing man he’d ever seen. He was insanely built, from his toned calves to his defined arms and then there were those abs that made Eren drool. Not to mention the now visible tattoos. He knew he wasn’t anything to sniff at either, but Levi was all muscle and stocky where Eren was lean and tall. Levi shook the water from his hair reaching for a towel. It was then that Eren noticed the jagged extensive scar along his left leg, faded pink and stark against the marble colored skin. “What are you wearing? All of your clothes are up here.” Eren blushed mumbling his words, “my underwear.” Levi smirked, “are you going to get out, brat? Or do you need help?” 

Eren knew better to try and lift himself out of the water so he swam to the side where the ladder was and got out. He was chilled by the lack of sunlight and the early morning temperature. The house was located deep in the woods surrounded by tall trees shading the yard throughout the day and the waters around the pier. They were the only house in the slew and it created a sort of secluded paradise. Eren enjoyed the seclusion.”You’re shaking.” Levi walked over, draping his towel around Eren’s shoulders. Eren grabbed Levi’s arm, pulling him closer before he could leave, “Let’s go warm up.” Eren’s voice was low, playful. Levi smirked, “let’s.” 

Hanji started cooking an all star worthy breakfast: eggs, bacon, grits, biscuits, ham, turkey bacon, gravy, and much more. Eren didn’t want to go sit in the living room yet. He wanted to be alone with Levi. They walked to the room Levi shared with Erwin but when they opened the door they found Erwin and Armin tangled together. Levi tsked, rolling his eyes in mock disgust hitting Eren when he started giggling. They opened the door to Eren and Armin’s room finding Donner at the foot of the bed. “I feel betrayed, old boy.” Donner’s tail thumped on the floor as Eren made to the bathroom to change out of his wet underwear into some lounge pants when he heard Levi tsk. “Where are you going, Eren?” Eren turned around to see Levi pulling the plantation blinds closed next to the bed. Eren could feel himself turning red, “I was going to change.” Levi captured Eren in a sultry gaze causing him to lose the ability to breathe. “You sure you want to do that?” Eren’s heart stopped for a split second, “You have another idea?” Levi’s hands came to rest on the tops of his trunks, tips of his fingers sliding under the top pulling at the elastic. Eren’s mouth was extremely dry, “Yeah, we could just get in the bed. It’s pretty warm.”

Eren’s pupils dilated at the sight of Levi taking his trunks off to let them fall by the floor. He whistled and Donner got up, walking with him to the door to be let out of the room. Eren admired his toned ass, flesh he wanted to sink his teeth into. _Thank God for Levi_ , he thought.

When it seemed like Eren had lost the ability to move, Levi made his way over to him, pulling at the wet fabric. He pressed against him, leaning into him till their lips touched lightly. Eren’s small gasp made Levi smile as he kissed him hotly. He took Eren’s bottom lip between his teeth, pulling gently as Eren brought his hands to hips, finally able to move. Levi chuckled, the sound making Eren shiver. It was like imagining tendrils of black smoke and raw power seeping out of him coating Eren in its thick and suffocating soot. Eren’s hands came up to card roughly through the undercut of Levi’s hair earning an appreciative growl from him. He barely registered the feeling of the bed on the back of his thighs before Levi pulled away. 

Levi flashed a wicked smile at Eren, making his knees go weak. He fell to his knees and left butterfly kisses on the skin below Eren’s navel and the fabric of his wet briefs. Already painfully hard Eren didn’t have time to be embarrassed by the fact a few rough kisses already had him needy and willing. Levi slowly pulled down the wet material leaving Eren’s erection on display. He took a moment to appreciate its length and girth and ignoring his own aching erection he planted a soft kiss on the tip, pulling back to lick the underside from base to tip. Eren put his hands on Levi’s shoulders only for them to be batter away, “Hands on the bed or I’ll stop.” Eren’s hands were placed on the mattress behind him. “Got it, brat?” Levi’s stern look alone made Eren want to come, “Y-yes-s,” Levi raised his eye brow, “Yes what?” His voice was so deep and commanding Eren peeped out, “Y-yes, S-sir. Yes, sir.” Eren was rewarded with Levi taking him into his mouth, first the tip that he suckled and nibbled and then all the way to the back of his throat. He set a moderate pace, bobbing off occasional with a “pop” and licking at Eren’s things and biting them lightly. Eren couldn’t take it, he was already at the edge and they hadn’t even been doing it that long before he said, “Levi…ahh… I’m s-sorry…I’m gunna- mm” Levi took him to the back again, letting Eren come and come hard. He swallowed every bit he could, wiping the last bit that escaped out of the corners of his mouth. “That didn’t take long, was that your first blow job, kid?” Eren covered his face with his hands. 

  
”No, I was just…  
”What?”  
”I was just…you’re…  
”It’d be great if you could speak in full sentences.”  
”You’re so damn hot it’s insane and I’ve been aroused all day.”  
Levi scoffed standing back up, “So, it’s all my fault and not that you’re an inexperienced kid?”  
”Exactly.”

Eren smiled still shy and unsure what to do. He followed Levi’s lead and got in the bed with him. They laid side by side until Eren rolled over facing Levi. “Can I ask about your tattoos? I know some people have really personal stories and reasons for getting them, so if you don’t want to tell me that is totally fine.” Levi pulled the coved higher on them turning his head to look at Eren, “You can ask me whatever you want. You don’t have to apologize or be shy about it.” Eren moved closer, “How many do you have?” 

  
Levi counted, “Well, I have the hand of Miriam on the inside of my right arm.”  
Eren looked seeing the delicate and intricate red ink tattoo about 3 inches wide and 4 inches long,.  
“I have “non, je non regrette rien” on the inside of my left bicep.” Levi opened his arm wider for Eren to see.  
”No, I regret nothing at all?”  
Levi nodded. “I love Edith Piaf. My mother played and sang her music all throughout my childhood. The song and the meaning of the lyrics really mean a lot to me.”  
I have the “Chai” symbol on my left wrist and the huge raven wings on my shoulders with the feathers coming down on my arms. I plan on getting more. I really want to finish my back and have made an appointment when we get back to school to have it done. ” Eren kissed the skin of Levi’s exposed shoulder. “I’ve always wanted some.” Levi snorted, “What did you want?” Eren hid his face , “You’d make fun of me so I’m not telling.”

Eren started rubbing his hand up and down Levi’s side. “You’re so bad ass. You know that already, I’m sure. But you’re so bad ass it hurts me.” Levi reached over cupping Eren’s jaw and pulling him up to look him in the eyes, “Shut up and kiss me.” They stayed in bed kissing and exploring each other until Hanji called for them. 

Jean and Marco were enjoying their morning waking up together. Jean hated the sun and had pulled the curtains closed and shut ever shutter but a small amount of light from the bathroom managed to peek into the dark bedroom. Jean woke first, admiring the sleeping angel next to him. He reached out to slowly trace Marco’s lips. Marco’s eyes slowly opened sleep laden and fuzzy. It was warm, so warm in the bed that both bodies were reluctant to move. Jean and Marco had fallen asleep after a short make out both in their boxer briefs tangled in each other’s limbs. Jean noticed he wasn’t the only one suffering from morning wood. Marco laughed as he tried to pull away only keeping a tight hold on him and softly smiling.

  
”Morning, Johnny Boy.”  
”Boungiorno, mon cher.” The wind from Jean’s airy laugh tickled Marco’s face.  
”Bonjour, mio amore.”  


Marco and Jean exchanged lazy kisses, softly touching one another until Hanji sent Mike to tell them breakfast was ready. Jean groaned as Marco laughed, disentangling themselves and heading off to brush his teeth. Jean came up behind him in the mirror grabbing a handful of hair. “It’s getting long.” Marco hummed in acknowledgement. “I’m thinking about shaving the sides shorter like a buzz cut and leaving the top longer and styling it up. Whatcha think?” Marco spat, “Gunna leave it two different shades?” Jean smirked, “Yeah, I want the sides to stay the same and bleach the top more.” Marco turned appraising Jean, “Will you let me help?” Jean nodded, “Yeah babe, you can help.” Marco sat back pulling Jean forward, “I think you’d look good. Like punk rock.” Jean smiled laughing, “Yeah, I wanna look rock meets punk.” Marco leaned in closer, “Is that why your nipples are pierced, cause you’re a rebel?” Jean barked a laugh at that swooping in to capture his lips. Marco and Jean kissed more until Hanji came in admonishing them for letting their food get cold, didn’t they know Eren could eat an entire cow himself? Jean did know and pulled Marco down the hall in haste. 

The rest of the weekend was full of laughter, sarcastic come backs, and relentless teasing. Apparently, Armin and Erwin hadn’t been as quiet as they thought when Mike came to get them and the various purple marks over the expanse of Armin’s torso; Erwin wore a burnt orange long sleeved surf shirt obscuring anything, leading to endless comments from Hanji. They had a pontoon boat for everyone to ride and drink as well as a few jet skis and Levi’s blue and white ski boat. Eren and Donner ran around on the pontoon before joining him and Erwin and Mike decided that racing on the jet skis around the slew and into the main water way would be a great idea leaving the others to find a spot and anchor.

The highlight of the weekend was having Levi pull them on the intertube with his boat. He was notorious for knocking people off after only a few minutes. There were two tubes, a long rocket shaped one three people could sit on and a round donut one they could ride single or doubles if someone sat in the lap of their partner. Erwin decided he’d challenge Levi to see who could stay on longer. He sat in the tube, grabbing the sides as Levi drove around slowly letting the line out. Armin had joined Erwin in the ski boat while Eld, Oluo, and Jean watched from their jet skis out a ways and Hanji, Mike, Marco, and Petra cheered drinking their mimosas from the anchored pontoon. The limit was 5 minutes to try and knock someone off. If they both stayed on then it was sudden death and Mike would drive them. Needless to say, Mike was apparently a hidden sadist and neither wanted him to pull them. 

Levi gunned it, speeding down the main channel as other boats whizzed by. Eren thought it was going pretty well for Erwin, though his size made things difficult. His legs kept getting pulled under the water to the underside of the float while he had to sit up in the tube and not get drug backwards into the water. Eren, Donner, and Armin hung on for dear life as he started doing donuts only to spin out and zig-zag back to the slew. Erwin lasted 4 minutes and 18 seconds before the water captured his legs pulling him under with the water. Armin pulled him in kissing him when he got in the boat and as he sat down behind the wheel, “you did great.” He murmured against his lips, “Thanks, baby.” Levi rolled his eyes walking over to ruffle Eren’s hair, “You feed me the rope.”

Levi’s approach was different from Erwin’s. He sat with his legs crossed inside the tube resting on the thin material that made the bottom of the hole. He gripped the handles as Eren feed the rope and Erwin prepared himself before starting. He wasn’t going near as fast as Levi had gone. Armin adjusted his sunglass looking back at Erwin. “You’re not going that fast?” Erwin smiled, “Did you wanna go fast, baby?” Armin’s lips quirked at the edges, “I want you to win, Erwin. I only date winners.” Eren snorted, “Well, you’re gunna to have to settle for a loser. Levi’s going to win.” Armin slapped at Eren’s arm as Donner watched Levi intently by his side, his ears laid back as he tried to remain balanced. Eren had his hand on his collar for safety. It was then Erwin picked up speed, shooting at a 45 degree anger across the channel with no regard for the laws of boating. Other boats veered off course to avoid the tuber, cursing him as they passed.

Armin let out a squeal of joy as Levi tightened his grip trying to turn his body against the pull so that he wasn’t knocked out by the wakes of the other boats and into the run off of his own which would surly drown the tube and bump him over the edge. Eren bit his lip, they’d only been at it for 2 minutes and Erwin was proving to be a strategic genius. He picked highly trafficked water ways with lots of waves from other jet skis, he pulled donuts as soon as Levi righted himself. The worst was the angling of the jet streams forcing Levi to turn up the sides of the tube in order to not let the wall of water wash inside. 4 minutes and Armin’s face was smug when they hit a rough patch of water making the boat jump up and down as it skidded across the water, bouncing Levi up and down. A huge wave came by as Erwin speed up. Levi and the tube were airborne about 5 feet out of the water. He lost his grip coming out of the tube and Eren wanted to close his eyes to not see the moment Levi would hit the water and feel the sting of it. 

Erwin let out a cheer as the tube fell down Levi falling after it. Then, suddenly, Levi was back in the tube, hands holding on, and his legs back crossed as he tried to sit forward keeping the tube stable. Eren and Armin’s mouth were wide open, _how on earth did he do that!?_ The 5 minute mark was up and Erwin slowed the boat down allowing Levi to rest for a moment and open and close his hands. Erwin was a sore loser and he sped up, catching him off guard and knocking him out of the tube into the water. Eren jumped in after Levi swimming over to him. Levi was tired and gladly allowed Eren to help him back on the boat as Armin pulled the tube in and Erwin laughed finishing his corona light. They pulled back in to the slew and up to the pier where everyone was waiting and discussing the challenge excitedly. 

Hanji ran up to Levi hugging him, “You won didn’t you? That’s why Erwin pulled such a dirty move. Hehhehehe.” For once Levi didn’t push them away, instead hugging them, “Yeah, old bastard. He’s such a sore loser.” Donner jumped out of the boat over to Levi’s side, nipping at his hand. Hanji looked at Levi, “Are you okay?” Levi nodded, “yeah, I got a little upset out there and he’s just checking. I should probably give him a treat, too.” Eren came to his side, “Uh…well..” Levi rolled his eyes, “You gave him treats? You know you don’t need to make that a habit.” Eren looked like a sad child, “I know. But, we were playing and I had some left over from yesterday and he found them.” Hanji patted Levi’s shoulder, “I knew you two would be great together.” Levi blushed and Eren thought it was the cutest thing he’d ever seen.

The group was having a crawfish boil and then they’d be driving back to campus after two fun days in the sun and a fending off the major hangover that was going to wreck them come Tuesday. Eren and Levi went to Eren’s room to clean up and shower while Armin and Erwin made their way to Erwin’s room to do the same. Molbit had left after pizza Saturday due to work but since he was returning to school that Monday he stopped by with all of the extra seafood they needed. He was already preparing everything while the others went to bathe. 

Armin hopped into the bedroom with his spare clothes while Erwin stepped into the shower. _Hmmmm_ Armin thought smirking to himself, _I think I’ll join him._ Armin slinked into the white bathroom with its double sink, soap stone counter, and walk in shower. The glass was frosted but he could make out the outline of Erwin’s body. Armin opened the door to come in, admiring the golden god before him. His shoulders were so broad and his back so well defined it appeared to Armin that he had be made by the great sculptors of Greece or Rome. His buttocks firm and defined, his arms strong and legs stretched on for days. Armin could feel himself getting light headed by how hot he was. Erwin heard Armin as he stepped forward to the shower head and turned to look over his shoulder, “hey, what are you doing?” Armin moved under the head wetting his hair.

He poured shampoo into his hand working it into lather and applying it to his hair. He looked up at Erwin innocently, “taking a shower. You?” Erwin took a moment to appreciate Armin’s form. He was petite but athletic. His chest and abdominal were strong and defined but his legs and arms were lean like a biker or swimmer. His hips were broader, more like a woman’s and his round supple bottom accentuated them. They started rinsing the shampoo out of their hair when Armin realized he’d never seen Erwin shirtless or even in short sleeves. He looked at his chest and then noticed that starting at his shoulder above his left pectoral a jagged scar began. It traveled down the length of Erwin’s arm. The skin was raised slightly and red from the heat of the shower. It looked like he’d had surgery on it by some of the marks that didn’t flow with the scar pattern. Erwin kept turning it away from Armin, hiding it. _He’s ashamed of it. That’s why he wears long sleeves all of the time._ Armin thought back to Levi’s scar on his leg. He’d asked Eren about it but Eren said he didn’t want to ask him what happened yet. Armin figured they must have been injured together. 

”You don’t have to hide your arm, Erwin, not from me.” Erwin’s face fell, “It’s ugly.” Armin moved in front of him kissing the beginning of the scar over his pectoral and over the shoulder, “It’s not ugly, it’s a part of you and you’re, God, you’re heaven sent.” 

Armin’s hands traced his arm as the water rolled off of them. Erwin’s large hands came to rest on Armin’s hips. “You’re too kind to me, baby,” his husky voice barely audible over the sound of the water pouring down like cleansing rain. “I’ll take care of you, Daddy.” Armin’s lips kissed every inch of skin he could find while Erwin rocked them back and forth. His lips came to rest on the shell of Armin’s ear, blowing hot air across it before he kissed it. “mmmm” Armin twisted in his grip, “Would you let me make you feel good, daddy?” He stood on his tiptoes kissing the underneath of his jaw, nipping at the taunt skin. “You already did,” he slid his hand around to grab at Armin’s bottom, “why don’t you let me show you how good you made me feel?”

Armin’s breath hitched as Erwin’s fingers ventured into the cleft of ass. Stroking gently and massaging deeply. Erwin held him close, as he took a second to get the soap from the ledge, applying to Armin’s back and bottom. He put the soap back, returning to massage and tease Armin’s cleft. It was when he started playing with his entrance, brushing over it lightly and applying pressure, that Armin became vocal. Tiny whimpers escaped him as he bucked back on the finger. Erwin leaned down to his ear, “Do you want this, baby?” Armin whimpered again, moaning softly as he tried to force Erwin’s finger in, just a little bit, craving more stimulation. “Do you like this?” Erwin pushed with a decent amount of pressure, entering just to the first knuckle, “Do you finger yourself, baby? Tell me.” He kissed Armin’s neck, licking a stripe up to the shell of his ear, “tell me.” Armin pushed back, “yes” his voice small and needy. Erwin rewarded him inserting his finger fully, pushing and pulling, in and out, slowly, teasingly. Armin moaned into his shoulder, biting back a louder response. 

Armin panted, “please” as he rocked back and forth as much as Erwin’s tight grip would allow. “Have you done it recently?” His tone was calm but the rough timbre betrayed how aroused he was as he positioned another finger at his entrance. “Yeah” Armin’s breathed out trying to push back. “When?” He bucked back in frustration, “F-friday. Erwin, please, god…” Erwin pushed in slowly, “What did you think about?” Armin’s eyes were closed, he felt like he would die if Erwin didn’t finger him properly. “W-why-y?” Erwin chuckled, “I’m curious.” Armin opened his eyes looking at their reflection in the clean unfrosted glass of the shower door. His words came out in a rush but he tried to make them as appealing as he could, “I thought about you, about how your large fingers would feel filling me up, stretching me out. My god, ah, your hands are so big. I love them. Please Erwin, this is torture.” Erwin relented, pushing in fully and stretching Armin, teasing out moans and gasps.

When he was content that Armin was now fully relaxed, he started searching for that special spot that would push Armin over the edge. He knew he found it when Armin started to spasm letting loose a low long moan Erwin was sure someone could hear through the wall of they were there. He continued his assault on Armin’s prostate while he writhed and panted against him, bucking back on his fingers. He accepted another of his fingers greedily, Erwin felt like he was going to come from the sight of Armin’s ecstasy. He rubbed his straining erection between them, against Armin’s stomach and his own leaking cock until finally with a gargled cry caught in their throats they came coating white ribbons over each other as the water slowly washed down their skin, cleaning them again and lulling Armin into a comfortable and satisfied state of bliss. 

They left the shower wrapping themselves in their towels and started to dress. Armin pulled on a pair of navy shorts, an oversized short sleeved burnt orange shirt that hung off one shoulder and had a blue tiger paw printed in the middle and his glasses before sitting in one of the large chairs the room had by a reading nook. “Will your house have a walk in shower like that?” Armin questioned. “I don’t think there is one, actually. We’ll need to renovate the house to our tastes anyway and it’s large enough that there are two masters with on suit possibilities. It’s a huge house.” Armin brushed through his hair again. “How big is it? What’s it like?” Erwin pulled on a long-sleeved lightweight Nike microfiber white jogging shirt and faded wrangler jeans. “You look like a cowboy who went to the city for a fancy top.” Armin giggled as Erwin approached. “Really? And I was going to answer all of your questions and give you a ride on my horse but since you’re being so cruel I’ll offer it to someone else.”

Armin hit Erwin with his brush, “I think you’d like it if I was actually cruel to you. I bet you’d like sadist Armin.” Erwin blushed. “Oh my God, you would. You’d like it if I was dominating. Well, I’ll keep that in my pocket for future use. But, to put it out there, I’d rather be dominated and I like your style so let’s make that the norm, okay big daddy?” Erwin swooped down kissing Armin’s cheek. “The house is huge. It’s also a plantation style just off university with a ton of land. I think there’s about 80 acres. It’s perfect for cattle, horses, and other animals but horses are what we plan on getting and keeping in the stables they have.” Armin smiled, “wow, that sounds like a dream. Eren’s always wanted to live somewhere like that.”

  
Erwin started packing his toiletries up and arranging things in the room back to Levi’s liking. “Where have you always wanted live?”   
Armin wrinkled his nose, “Everywhere.”   
”Everywhere?”   
”Yeah, I mean, I’ve wanted multiple houses. I wanted a loft in the city, a house on a beach because I love the water, a farm house near Eren, a vacation home in Germany, lake house in Denmark. I want to travel but not superfluous about it. I would love to have homes and live long enough and return often enough that I had friends in the communities. I also wanted a place where my friends could come and feel at home. I want homes….lots of warm homes.”   
”That sounds wonderful to me.” Erwin’s smile was large and genuine.   
“Will I have a room at your house?”   
Erwin walked over offering him a hand to get up, “You’ll have whatever you want. I’d like to keep it a secret until I take you there so let’s save this conversation for later.”He winked and they went to join the others at dinner. 

The party ended with fireworks and a birthday cake in the shape of a titan. Hanji specifically wanted a titan to carve up and Molbit delivered. Eren and Levi packed up the car with Donner while everyone else cleaned up and did the same. Soon they were all on the road back to the dorms, back to school. 

Jean held Marco’s hand on the way back, softly stroking the tanned and calloused hands. When they got back to their dorm Armin and Eren said goodbye and went to their dorm room leaving Erwin and Levi to park and take over from the stand in RA’s. It was only 10 pm and Marco didn’t want to go back to his room after spending the last two nights sleeping next to Jean and kissing him whenever he wanted. Jean must have felt the same way because he picked Marco’s bag up with his own and opened the door for both of them as they made their way to his dorm room. 

Turning on the overhead light Jean opened his closet putting his bag back into it as Marco walked over to his wall of pictures.   
“Jean?”  
”Yeah, babe?”  
Marco turned on his heel to look back at Jean, “Did you leave the window open?”  
”The win-“  
The large window that was the focal point of the room was opened as his curtains, caught by the wind, floated out framing the night landscape.


	10. Halloween screams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin decides to celebrate his birthday on Halloween as the group goes out for a bar crawl. The couples spend the night having fun that culminates in passion. It isn't until the next morning that Jean and Marco realize how close to danger they and their friends have been. 
> 
> (There is smut and wherever an asterisk* is present is a hyperlink to pictures that will better describe their outfits for Halloween.)

The weeks continued to pass and September was gone. With October brought Erwin’s birthday and Halloween, two major holidays in Armin’s opinion. He asked Erwin what he wanted to do for his birthday but since it feel in the middle midterms he said that he’d rather celebrate it on Halloween like he’d done the year before. Armin was slightly disappointed. He ran to the rare and out of print section of their favorite bookstore looking for something to get him. He found a collection of first edition George Orwell books on sale for a steal. He had to check with the owner to make sure that the price was correct. She was excited to find out it was for his boyfriend, stating that her wife love Orwell and if he was interested she was looking for someone to work part time. Armin told her he was very interested and took an application and her email address. 

He bought him a polished leather flask in burnt umber that could also hold cigarettes because, as Armin had found out, he was very jealous of the one Levi had and he tended to smoke when he drank. Armin wrapped the flask separate from the books. He decided to wrap the gifts in white tissue paper with a simple silk orange ribbon. All in all, he was very proud and hoped Erwin would like the gifts. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone agreed that going out for Halloween together would be great and celebrating Erwin’s birthday would be a bonus. Jean and Marco discussed whether or not they’d go as a couple costume. Marco had been staying over at Jean’s dorm often and had gotten to know Eren and Armin well. Thankfully, Armin and Marco had become great friends but that didn’t keep Marco from getting jealous at the amount of attention Jean gave him. Sometimes their playful banter verged too much on flirting and Marco hated how upset it made him.

He was laying on Jean’s bed taking a break from his homework while Jean worked on his computer doing his Java lab.  
“Babe?”  
”Hmm?”  
”Your room gives me the heebie jeebies.”  
”I know. But, look at how big the bed is?”  
”That doesn’t stop it from being creepy.  
”True but I’m here and you’re basically able to move in and away from your loud fratabulous roommates. I mean, have you seen me? I’m worth the heebie jeebie feelings.”Jean’s smug face made Marco laugh before slapping his leg.  
”Can I ask you a personal question, Jean?  
”Anything, babe. Anything.”  
”Are you a top or bottom?”  
”Where did that come from?” Jean’s face was aghast as Marco shrugged. Marco sat up crawling over Jean to straddle him. They had made out plenty of times, touched each other but nothing really sexual. Jean was aware that many couples didn’t move in with one another for a year at least and Marco and Jean were practically playing house in his dorm. He worried that if they took things too fast he’d fuck it up and lose Marco. With Eren he’d messed everything up and Armin had always kept their boundaries clear. Sex was sex in some cases but sex with Marco was always going to be more than that. It scared him how attached he’d already become to him. 

Marco rocked slightly, “Jean? Hello? Earth to Jean.” Jean looked up at Marco’s perfect smile. “I didn’t mean to make things strange but I was hoping we could talk about sex and how we see it going in general when we do other stuff.” Jean nodded, “Well, I’ve always kind of been a switch?”Marco gave him a quizzical look, “A switch?” 

  
”Yeah, I’ve been a top and bottom. It depends on my mood and what my partner felt like doing.”  
”So, you’ve had sex before.”  
”Yeah. You?”  
”Yep. Can ask what your number is?”  
”Uh…four….”  
”Oh?  
”Why “oh?” What does “oh” mean?”  
”Nothing I just didn’t really expect four.”  
”Hey! What the fuck does that mean?!”  
”Nothing!”  
”What’s your number!?”  
”Just one…”  


Jean rubbed circles on Marcos hips. He was wearing one of Jean’s ACDC shirts and red boxers. Jean admired his long tan and freckled legs. He was runner for sure and that ass, that ass taunted Jean in his dreams. “Just one?” Marco nodded, “Yeah, it wasn’t a good relationship either.” His voice was soft, apologetic. “He was pretty…horrible.” Jean’s face contorted, _How could anyone be horrible to Marco._ ”What did he do.” Marco carded his fingers through Jeans fauxhawk they had made a few days ago. They still needed to bleach it. “He was controlling. Mentally abusive towards the end and sex wasn’t pleasant. He wasn’t a good top and hurt me most of the time and then when he had me top he critiqued me and made comments. I was really insecure about myself and he made it worse.” Jean stopped rubbing, “Marco, it’s not going to be like that. I can promise you. I didn’t learn like that and I would never do anything you weren’t comfortable with or make comments that were belittling. My goal is to make you feel great, make you feel safe, make you feel loved, and have fun.” Marco smiled looking down at Jean, “You’re pretty amazing, you know that?” Jean smirked, “I know. How lucky you are.” Marco rolled his eyes, “So, I think when we do have sex I want you to be the top the first time. I want to know what it feels like to be topped the right way.”

Jean moved their things off the bed to the desk flipping Marco on his back, “You want me like this?” Marco was grinning ear to ear, “Yeah, just like that.” Jean hissed as Marco ground down on him. He leaned over him kissing him passionately. Marco deepened the kiss pulling on the back of Jean’s neck and rolling his hips up into him. Jean gasped, his cock already half hard and getting harder the longer Marco worked his body on him. Jean removed his painting shirt leaving only his lounge pants on. Marco attacked his chest, kissing all over until coming to Jean’s right nipple piercing. He sucked the nipple into his mouth, rolling his tongue against it making Jean keen and grind down on Marco harder. His free hand roamed Jean’s side and twisted the other nipple. Jean’s hands pulled Marco off of his nipple as he swooped in to attack Marco’s lips, pulling, sucking, and biting, making Marco groan in pleasure.

Jean reached between them freeing their erections. He stroked their cocks, spreading precome over their skin until Jean was able to bring both of them together in his hand. Marco gasped when he felt Jean’s hot flesh against his. The friction of his hand was delightful. They rolled against each other, drinking in each other’s moans and gasps till they were at the precipice. Jean slid his thumb over the slit of Marco’s cock pushing him over. His eyes were clenched shut as he rode out his orgasm hearing Jean follow soon after. They collapsed, boneless, on the bed. Jean didn’t mind laying in the mess as long as it was Marco’s mess. He listened to the thrumming of Marco’s heartbeat until he calmed down. Marco started tracing patters on Jean’s back. “That was nice.” Jean hummed “Yeah, we should do that more often. I’m hungry, wanna clean up and go get dinner? We should figure out our costumes since Halloween is only a day away.” Marco patted his back and they got up washing off in the shower together and went to eat. 

Halloween night was going to be blast. They had outlined a bar crawl and arranged for bus lines to take them to parties not within walking distance of campus. Annie had invited them all to Reiner’s house for a pregame party that Mikasa was very excited about from what Eren could see. Eren and Mikasa didn’t talk about it but he knew that Annie and Mikasa were in some type of relationship. He didn’t know if they were using any certain terms to define it but he could tell just by Mikasa’s mannerisms that Annie was more than just a college BFF. They all decided to meet at the dorm downstairs and take the bus to MP and then back out to downtown.

Connie and Sasha dressed as [ *sailor couple](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/c9/fa/3f/c9fa3fadd8238afab056ee3dec35edff.jpg) in costumes Mikasa had made for them a few years back for a Navy party for Connie’s father. Mikasa was going as [*Wonder Woman](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/73/69/2a/73692a89443879bbcacd218a8ba20765.jpg) with her lasso of truth and Jean was a [*punk rock musician](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/4a/aa/a0/4aaaa0abf1490e0b91c591385fcb636d.jpg) with tattoos and piercings. He had basically pulled what was already in his closet out and hand painted his tattoos and applied the fake eyebrow and lip rings. His hair was styled up with blue tips. Marco was dressed in a well [*fitting navy and white pinstriped suit ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/fa/9a/f5/fa9af5ee31c37d362110a690a6aea1c0.jpg) with a pink shirt and brown tie. He had a white flower on his lapel and a rosary in his pocket. He was going as a member of the Italian mafia. He had a large water gun that looked like some sort of semi automatic that he spray painted with black and red glitter paint. He wanted people to know it wasn’t a real gun and it even shot water. 

Armin wasn’t so lucky and had a hard time picking out a costume or coming up with some clever idea. Mikasa was helping him and offered to design something if he wanted. It was her off the hand comment that he might as well go as a flapper because he had the perfect body for it and he loved that time period that got him thinking. _Why not?_ “Okay, I’ll go if you make me look like a Siegfried girl.” Eren had been flipping through sketches Mikasa had drawn up for him, “You’re going as a flapper? As a girl?” Armin nodded drinking his cherry cola and chewing on the straw, “I think I want to do that, too. We’ll go together and if someone tries to start any shit we’ll beat them up together looking like we stepped out of a black and white film.”Armin snorted, “You just want to wear stockings, don’t lie. Wanna wax our legs and stuff before hand?” Eren smiled, “Yeah, how bad could that be?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Eren rolled his black stockings up his now hairless legs he thought about how only a few hours ago and two containers of wax he had experienced one of the most awkward and painful experiences in his life and all in the name of beauty. Armin was much better at it than him and when it to doing their so called “bikini” line Armin was fearless and practiced. “Do you take all of your hair off?” Armin spread the wax on his inner thigh, “Yeah and my butt.” Eren nearly choked, “You even wax your ass?” Armin pulled the strip, “Didn’t you ever notice?” Eren dipped his stick in the wax, “I just thought you were hairless” he mumbled as Armin snickered, “Yeah, that makes sense.” Armin’s voice was full of sarcasm as Eren shied away. 

”Yeah.”  
”Will you do mine?”  
”Of course, it’s like a bonding experience.”

Eren was breath taking in his [*black sheer flapper dress](%E2%80%99) with matching black and gold sequined [*shoes.](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/03/24/1a/03241ab66fab826f68d4a1bc28a0c22a.jpg) His hair was curled and adorned with a large [*headpiece ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/0f/69/03/0f69034745dbf0b61a9a581c2b498a54.jpg)of black feathers and a veil. His sheer black stockings hooked to a simple garter belt he wore over a pair of lacey black boy shorts Armin got him stating that since the dress was sheer this would look like a part of the dress if someone noticed it. Eren stepped back, looking at himself in the mirror. His eyelashes were curled and coated with mascara. His lips glossy and red and the beautiful brown eye shadow with a hint of gold made his eyes shine. Eren felt like wherever he went he’d be the most beautiful person there, well, except for Armin.

Armin appeared at the door in his beautiful white silk embellished [*dress](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/ea/29/54/ea29546a447b44defcbefc99d349860e.jpg), dripping in pears and sensuality. His dainty white gloves reached his elbow and he brandished a cigarette holder already stained by his plum colored lips. His baby blue irises were framed by lush lashes, that of a porcelain dolls, and his lids were swept in a bright purple with cat eye style liner. His [*headpiece](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/a5/d0/21/a5d021686015981c3685bd544f84a99b.jpg) consisted of a circle of delicate metal with strands pearls to the side embellished with feathers and gold lace. His petite feet were nestled into beautiful Gatsby style [*shoes](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/77/4b/ce/774bce6afd4a5556174c33786babeded.jpg) that were white gold and adorned with stones. Mikasa had outdone herself this year. These costumes were unbelievable. She asked that they not destroy them so that she could use them as a project in her sewing and embroidery class. 

As the two friends walked down the stairs a few fraternity guys whistled and cat-called. Armin turned around turning his nose up at them as they continued trying to convince them to come to the delta house for some fun. Eren ate it up knowing that if they knew they were men they’d be singing a different tune. Armin’s pale and shapely legs enticed one as they turned on the main floor and into the hallway, “Hey, sweetie, why don’t you let me have a feel?” Armin shook his head no and kept walking arm in arm with Eren as they opened the double door into the front entrance. The one by Eren reached out to pinch his ass whistling and then remarking, “That’s a tight ass, honey. I bet that would feel nice on my dick tonight.” The other one had been swatted at by Armin, but he didn’t give up, “Come on, baby. Those legs would look great up on my shoulders.” He crooned sliding up behind him. “Baby, you’re a fine piece of ass.” Armin turned to glare and was more than ready to fight until he heard the familiar voice that was Erwin’s. The only difference was its tone of warning and tinge of jealously. “My baby would like you to move on, son.” Erwin and Levi stood behind the front desk in their military fatigues. Erwin’s massive form all the more formidable and Levi’s eyes were even more prominent and dangerous looking as he sized up the other guy stalking Eren. “I’d listen to him if I was you.”

The guy behind Eren scoffed, puffing up his chest moving closer to Eren. Levi moved off his perch against the counter to Erwin’s side. “Whatcha gunna do, short ass mother fucker? You gunna fight me?” An emotion flashed across Levi’s eyes. It was gone before Eren could catch it. “I’ll skin you and leave you on a post in the woods.” his voice cold and serious. Erwin smirked, “I think that would be quite inconvenient for you.” Levi and Erwin were menacing and the tension in the room steadily built until both Erwin and Levi jumped over the counter, frightening the two boys. They ran out of the front screaming as Levi and Erwin began to double over from laugher. “You were going to skin them. I died Levi…I died.” Erwin wiped the tears from his eyes. “I’m always trying to top “I’m going to eat you.” That was the best one I ever said. You nearly ruined it when I said it.” Erwin slapped his knees falling to the floor in a fit of laughter. “Because…hah ahha…who the fuck tells a terrorist they’re going to eat them?!..haha…They were terrified. It was the most fucked up thing I think they’d ever been told.!” Levi chuckled heartily helping Erwin off the floor. 

Both Eren and Armin watched amused as their two dates of the evening got a hold of themselves. Still smiling Levi walked over to Eren picking him up. Eren wrapped his legs around Levi giggling. “So, you like my costume.” Levi smiled brighter, “I love it.”Armin had made his way over to Erwin, his gaze was predatory and Armin couldn’t help but revel in the feeling of being wanted. He exaggerated the sway of his hips, “You like what you see?” A lopsided grin appeared. It was something that Armin had come to associate with steamy make outs and his fingers deep inside of him, “You shouldn’t walk around like that. You’ll kill a man.” His hands came to touch Armin’s pin curl curls, gently pulling as they popped back into place. 

Levi surveyed Eren once more, “this dress is sheer.” Eren smiled, “you think?” Eren gave Levi a kiss on the cheek, “I got some on your face, sorry.” He made to wipe the lipstick off when Levi turned his face, “Its okay. Just make sure it’s me you put your lips on tonight and not some punk.” Eren held Levi’s gaze, “yes, sir.” Levi gave him a wicked smile before turning to go get the others already in their apartment. Erwin took Armin’s hand, kissing it, “May I take your bag?” Armin had Erwin’s present in a sleek black bag. “Actually, this is yours.” Erwin’s eye widened, “Mine?”Armin’s clutch purse Mikasa made him and Eren for their fake IDs and other small things was moved to the other arm as he gave Erwin the bag. 

Erwin opened the bag, removing the first gift that was the flask. He was genuinely delighted and handed the flask to Levi when he returned to fill it with scotch and cigarettes. Levi snorted mumbling something about being a copy cat. Erwin seemed surprised there was more, “Armin…” he gasped revealing the books, “you, baby, you didn’t have to get me anything, Especially something as nice as this.” Armin grinned, “You’re always spoiling me. I wanted to return the favor.” Erwin’s heart clenched, “Thank you, baby doll. I’m so glad you did.” Erwin put his gifts in the apartment and they all went outside to call the night shuttle to take them to their bus stop.

Reiner and Bertolt’s house was the clichéd stereotype of a party house in a college town: brick façade, white walls and small. It had a staircase that when you opened the door you immediately saw and on the right a fair sized living room with two plaid couches, a lazy boy and coffee table. One the left wall was a flat screen tv and fish tank and past living room a kitchen with a powder room and pantry. Outside was a large yard with a beer pong table, skate ramp from previous owners and a barrel used for fires. Annie fit with Eren and Armin’s cross dressing theme for the night. She was a lumberjack complete with overalls, red and black open plaid shirt with black chest binder, he hair down and with a black trucker hat and 5 o’clock shadow.

Reiner and Bert were dressed as wrestlers, their amazing physiques shown off for all to see. Reiner immediately made a bee line to Armin asking him how he’d been and introducing himself to everyone else. Eren made his way into the kitchen where the drinks were, opening a tall boy of pabst blue ribbon while Levi took in the disheveled house in disgust. “Pigs, pigs live here.” Eren giggled while Mikasa and Annie put on a Spotify station and the group began to drink. 

Jean and Marco paired up against Reiner and Bertolt in a game of beer pong while Erwin and Levi played quarters. Armin stepped out to watch the game as Eren coached Jean, causing him to miss more than a few cups. After the game finished Sasha and Connie took over and played against Eren and Levi. Levi hated to lose and every missed cup resulted in swift verbal punishment from Eren. Sasha loved seeing Eren grow more and more distracted. Her aim was near perfect, every ball sinking into the cup. Fortunately, Levi could blow like no one’s business and he saved their asses when it came to the sudden death round. He pulled Eren to the side, admonishing him and making sultry promises to punish him thoroughly when they returned back to the dorm in the morning.

Eren and Levi made their way inside for a game where couples took shots from each other’s mouth. The first one to finish all ten shots got to pick the early morning fast food restaurant. Jean and Marco immediately made eyes with Levi and Eren. It would see that when it came to Eren against Jean he was even more competitive than Levi. He took Levi’s jaw in his hands, forcing his lips open and pushing the liquid in. Levi gladly accepted it, tasting Eren with the bitter licorice of Jaeger as Jean and Marco wrestled with the abrasive shots of fire ball Annie gave them. Jean cursed everything in the world he was stuck with the evil liquid that is fireball. It was a close call but Eren and Levi finished their ten shots each when Jean and Marco each had two left. 

Bertolt and Erwin had surprisingly stuck up a conversation about something that happened in the stock market last week, discussing it in the corner of the kitchen while Reiner talked with Armin about everything under the sun. Armin had been curious what happened to his first crush. He was glad to see not much had changed personality wise and that he was still as huge as he remembered, if not a little more handsome now that they were older. Reiner was a little friendlier that Armin thought he should be. He’d mentioned that he had his eye on someone he wanted to date but Armin changed the subject before everyone came in to head to the buses and start their brawl crawl.

The group headed to The Vault, Bourbon, and then Sky Bar partying, dancing, drinking and making friends with other groups doing the same. Erwin’s hands roamed Armin’s body shamelessly, coming to roughly grab his hips and sometimes lick from the nape of his neck up until Armin gasped. Jean never danced but Marco was sex on the floor. Jean was content to watch as Marco’s hips moved to the music creating a type of siren’s song only he could hear. Marco moved Jean to a seat against the wall at Sky Bar, giving him his own personal show while Annie and Mikasa rocked against each other nearby, Annie occasionally whispering in Mikasa’s ear, her hands disappearing between her thighs under her skirt, unbeknownst to the strangers around them. Bertolt had broken off a bit, dancing with Eren while Levi went out for a moment after getting overwhelmed by the amount of people joining the bar since the others were closing and more people crowded Sky Bar to prolong the night.

Eren had worried about him, asking if he could go out without Donner. Levi said he could, he didn’t like to do it but he took his anti anxiety medicine and once he started drinking he’d be okay. Eren enjoyed dancing with Bertolt but kept his eyes trained on the bit of Levi he could see through the bar’s open windows. Erwin lit a cigarette for Armin and excused himself to check on Levi. Reiner appeared asking if he could dance with Armin and Erwin nodded waving as he turned to part the sea of people. 

Reiner’s hands found Armin’s waist pulling him close but not too close. Armin enjoyed watching how he moved his body. The sweat glistening on his skin catching the lights as it rolled down. He felt that familiar surge of nervous butterflies he had when Reiner lived down the street. Decently intoxicated on scotch and Guinness beer Armin leaned in closer letting him take the lead as they grinded under the light of the moon in the center of the dance floor. Sky Bar was an open atrium style bar with multiple levels for dancing, drinking, and smoking. Reiner moved his hand up Armin’s back pulling him even closer till Armin was almost straddling his leg.

Sirens went off in his mind about what it must look like with them so close. He put his hands up on Reiner’s chest pushing back slightly. Reiner leaned down to his ear, “What’s wrong?” His breath smelled like Jack and coke,” You’re just a little too close. Erwin might think you’re flirting…” Armin’s voice trickled off. He felt stupid because Reiner may not have meant anything by his actions and that sounded awfully conceited of him. “I am flirting.” Armin then felt Reiner’s hand grip his jaw, gently but firm. He didn’t have much time to think about anything before Reiner was covering his lips with his own. He moved against Armin but Armin didn’t kiss him back. Instead, Armin pushed and pushed as far away as he could, planting his feet, and turning trying to break his grip.

It seemed like an eternity before Reiner was gone. Armin opened his eyes to Erwin holding Reiner’s shoulder, his knuckles white from the amount of pressure he was applying. Erwin leaned in to whisper in his ears. Whatever he said, Reiner listened looking ashamed and gave Erwin and apologetic look. They exchanged words before Reiner turned to Armin, apologizing for his actions and asking for forgiveness and running off towards the stairs to the upper deck. Armin braced himself for the fall out. He knew he was guilty for not being more forceful, for not stopping when he thought it was going too far. He hoped Erwin would be merciful.

Erwin took Armin’s hand as Levi, Eren, and a flushed looking Annie came up. “I saw what happened.” Annie’s voice was monotone but she had an apologetic look, “It’s complicated. He didn’t mean to cause any trouble. He’s just stupid sometimes.” Levi and Eren exchanged glances, unaware of what had happened. “Well, I think I figured it out. He apologized so that’s fine. He’s a nice guy, don’t worry. I’m not upset.” Annie smiled, “Allow me to make a peace offering just in case. Mikasa was watching Erwin and Levi’s face closely, making them hesitant for what was to come. “Miki said that Armin, Jean, and Eren were okay with things that were a little harder than alcohol. Are you two?” _Oh_ Armin thought, _this is going to be interesting._

Levi cocked his head to the side, raising an eyebrow, “I don’t want that weak ass weed. You better be talkin’ something harder. That shit smells and makes you okay with being bored.” Eren appraised Levi, _DAAAAAMN/_ Erwin shifted to pull Armin in front him, wrapping him in his arms. “What are you offering?” Annie nodded towards the stairs. The group followed including Jean and Marco who saw Eren waving for them. 

Once up the stairs they went towards the bathrooms. Since the building used to be much smaller and for a family restaurant there was still a family/handicap bathroom to use instead of the larger male/female ones. All eight entered the bathroom locking the door and looking to Annie. She undid the flap of her overall revealing her toned stomach and a fanny pack. Levi chuckled, “You use a pager, too? What is this, the early 2000s?” Annie cast a taunting glance as a ghost of a smile graced her features. “I’d not bite the hand that feeds if I was you, captain.” Eren shivered at the thought of calling Levi captain. He watched as Annie produced a small sandwich size bag of coke. “It’s on the house after the incident. How do you want to do it? I can divide it evenly or those who want just a little can do a little and or I can get you something else. I’ve got E and Molly but it’s kind of late for those.” Jean spoke up, “I vote we divide it up and those who don’t want that much or any should speak now and then that gets divided out to the others.” 

The rest agreed and Annie split the bag among couples to save plastic. They cleared off the back of the toilet and counter to do a few lines before returning to the dance floor. Annie let Mikasa do her lines first while speaking with Levi and Erwin on the side. Jean had already powered through three lines and Marco was only going to do one, or so he thought until Jean bumped his line up exponentially. Eren set out Armin and his lines on the toilet. They normally did them there and would sit backwards on the seat, often hitting line after line till they needed a moment to collect themselves. Eren turned to Levi, “Levi?” Levi looked over, “What brat?” Eren grinned, “do you want me to set yours or?” Levi nodded no. Eren hit three lines and then Armin sat down, taking three as well. They decided to split one and afterwards they were on top of the world. 

Levi and Erwin walked over to where Eren and Armin were waiting, Levi down and laid out ten good sized lines. Eren and Armin stared in amazement as Erwin and Levi each did five and gummed enough for a sixth. Standing up and tying the bags off, Levi handed one to Erwin and pocketed the other. He smacked Eren’s ass grabbing a handful before roughly kissing him. Erwin’s hands went to Armin as he roamed his body pulling at the long string of pearls he wore. “We’re going to dance and then when we get home, I’m going to fuck you into the mattress.” Erwin’s voices whispered playfully into Armin’s ear.  
“That sounds great. But, aren’t you mad?”  
Erwin chuckled, “Not at you. I watched the whole thing. I wanted to kill him but you know, that’s not okay in civilian life.”  
”Are you going to fuck me hard.” Armin pressed against Erwin.  
”So fucking hard, baby. You’re gunna scream and come all over my bed.”  
Armin laughed, “I can’t wait.”  
”Me either.” Erwin grabbed Armin’s chin kissing him deeply and roughly.

The group returned to the dance floor, feeling alive and energized. They danced until about 5:00 when Marco, high but not as high as Jean, demanded that they all go get food before turning in. The group had a heated debate about where to eat and much to Eren’s surprise Levi demanded that they walk next door to the McDonalds, the exact McDonalds with a 92 health rating he’d denied Eren the other day. Once entering the McDonalds Levi walked to the front of the line pulling out a wad of cash and demanded that everything was on him and that he wanted a large fry, M&M McFlurry, and a Big Mac. Eren laughed as the woman tried to complete his order along with everyone else in the groups on the same ticket. Jean wanted two happy meals, Marco wanted a fish sandwich and ice cream cone, Erwin ordered two big macs and two fries. When Armin said he’d rather have a plain cheeseburger Erwin gave him a look like _what? _and then broke him down hard with a “Baby, that was my order. I don’t know what the hell you want but you better tell her not me.”__

The group sat in a round “space booth” as Eren called them and talked. Eren watched as Levi ate his fries, dipping them in his McFlurry like a child. Jean and Marco played with his kid’s meal toys and Annie and Mikasa fed each other when Mikasa started to crash. They left and called Annie and Mikasa a cab. Reiner and Bertolt were on their own but Annie said there was nothing to worry about. Sasha and Connie had gotten lost somewhere before their trip to the bathroom but Annie said they told Mikasa they wanted to head back and have some alone time.

The rest made their way stumbling and laughing across campus to their dorms. When they entered they went through the front door, having given up on the back since it still held a foreboding sense of anger when they used it. Jean and Marco started towards the double doors when Jean turned around, “Whose going up to 218?” Both Armin and Eren hadn’t thought about who would use their dorm. They had both expected to end up with both of their partners in their rooms. Levi and Erwin pulled them towards the apartment, “You two will have both suites to yourself so be as loud as you want.” Erwin said picking Armin up and throwing him over his shoulder as he unlocked the door. 

Levi had Eren in front of him, his hands stroking his lower stomach occasionally wandering further down teasing Eren. The door opened and both older men pulled their lovers inside. Levi pushed Eren against the wall pressing his body against him and hiking up Eren’s dress as he plundered his mouth, teeth nipping and tongue searching over the plains of his mouth with an invader’s determination. Moaning like a whore Eren jumped up to wrap his legs around Levi’s waist. He tore his mouth away from Eren’s, panting he leaned in next to his ear, “Can I fuck you?” Eren moaned, “Yes, God yes.” Levi started to undo his pants, “Here, against this wall, through you panties?” Eren bucked against Levi, “Y-yes-s” he stuttered out. He was impossibly hard and didn’t care that they’d never done anything past kiss and that blow job at the lake. He wanted Levi, he needed him inside of him. “

Levi dropped his pants presenting Eren with his fingers, “Suck, brat. Fucking coat them.” Eren eagerly sucked and licked the digits. He made sure to give Levi a show while he did so. Levi’s cock was erect and leaking precome all over. Eren’s was the same way, saturating the lace panties and straining against the tight fabric. Once wet, Levi moved to Eren’s entrance, slowly pushing in the first finger. Eren was so aroused he welcomed the intrusion have masturbated recently he wasn’t as tight as normal and after a few moments Levi was pushing in the second finger scissoring him open and grinding against him while sucking and biting his collar bones. Lost in pleasure Eren moaned and whimpered as loudly as he wanted. It wasn’t like he was the only one being loud. 

Erwin had taken Armin to his room, tossing him on the bed while stripping his top half off. His voice was stern and commanding, “turn over on your stomach and lift your dress.” Armin did so, lifting the delicate snow white silk revealing his pert bottom covered in white sheer panties. Erwin came over, ripping a hole in the full bottoms and tossing a bottle of lube on the bed next to Armin, “Finger yourself” his voice betrayed his arousal. Armin opened the bottle, coating his fingers. He had already played with himself before the party, his desire for Erwin had been too much as he imagined his reaction to his costume. Before long Armin had three fingers inside of him, thrusting in and out while he moan unabashedly, stirred on by the sounds coming from the living room and not a bit shameful for that. Erwin stood behind him, fully nude and stroked his impressive and massive cock. Armin turned to look at it, biting his lip and batting his lashes at Erwin.

Erwin told him to stop fingering himself, approaching him and pulling him on his knees. He removed the dress, tossing it on the back of his desk chair before taking the strand of pearls from Armin’s neck and tying them around his wrists. He pushed Armin back down on the bed running his hands over the exposed flesh of his back and legs. He left kisses down his spine occasionally spanking his little ass making Armin cry out from pleasure and surprise. Erwin shoved his knee between Armin’s legs opening them wider before he laid himself down, positioning himself at his entrance. Armin whined when he didn’t push in but Erwin kissed the back of his neck. Armin took this as him asking for permission so he gave it to him, “fuck me, daddy. Fuck me good.” With that Erwin slammed into Armin, sheathing himself to the hilt as Armin cried out and Erwin started a brutal pace, pulling almost completely out before slamming back in.

Eren wasn’t fairing much better. Once he was stretched and his prostate located, Levi positioned himself at his entrance, pausing just a moment to take in Eren’s wrecked appearance before groaning out “fuck.” Sliding into Eren to the hilt he gave him a few seconds to adjust before waging war with his cock. Eren’s entire being clenched up from Levi’s rough deep strokes. He bobbed on his cock, the fabric of his panties rubbing against Levi and creating such intense friction on his own weeping erection was driving him insane. It was something clicked something that can’t be explained. Levi and Eren felt a spark catch fire as they kissed almost violently, attacking each other, needed to be closer. Levi hit Eren’s prostate and continued to hit it head on until Eren saw stars. He started coming in his panties, coming hard but Levi wasn’t done. He pressed harder against Eren, moving him up slightly. Eren’s muffled cries died inside of his own mouth. 

It was just them, they were the only two people in the world and Eren loved it. Loved how Levi smelled like fresh pine and cold water in a metal pail. He loved how quiet he was in comparison to Eren. He groaned, grunted, panted, but his moans were rare and low, quiet. That was very Levi. Eren had never come more than once but before he knew it he was coming again and Levi was following him, burying himself deep inside of Eren, spilling his seed. “Fuck” Levi groaned under his breath as his knees threatened to give out. Eren went limp, having come harder than any other time in his life. Levi sunk to the floor cradling Eren against him as they rode out their orgasms. Levi and Eren stared into each other’s eyes before Levi leaned forward, their lips barely touching and whispered, “Never leave me.”

Erwin continued to pound into Armin’s willing little body. He pinned him down, effectively fucking him into the mattress as he had promised. Armin was lost in a haze of lust and pleasure. He’d lost all semblance of decency as was saying whatever came to mind. Erwin egging him on with comments like “does that feel good, baby? Daddy’s cock?” Armin would answer, “Yes, fuck yes Daddy. Your cock is amazing. Fuck me, daddy. Fuck me harder.” And Erwin would oblige, feeling like he was going to destroy the body before him. His hands were already leaving bruises all over his hips and they were both so close. With renewed zeal Erwin redoubled his efforts on Armin’s prostate, letting out a long groan as he felt Armin seize up, coming all over himself and the bed. 

Erwin listened as Armin moaned out his name, twitching from overstimulation as he rode his orgasm out. “Come Daddy, come.” With that Erwin came hard, filling Armin and coating his insides. He came so much that some started to escape as he fell on top of him, breathing erratic and boneless. Erwin rolled over, untying Armin’s hands and rubbing his wrists. Erwin kissed Armin’s wrist. Both felt so many emotions and they knew that everything had changed, but they had changed for the better. They could hear Eren and Levi in the other room breathing and talking quietly. Armin shifted, still somewhat high and energized to kiss Erwin and remove the rest of his clothes. “We need to clean up while we still have the energy. I’ve never…” Erwin looked at Armin, “Never?” Armin blushed, “Been filled up like that. It’s strange.” Erwin laughed as he stood up to go to the bathroom.

They weren’t the only ones heading to the showers. After a tense staring contest between Erwin and Levi both shrugged pulling their lowers with them and entering the walk in shower, making Armin laugh, “Why do y’all get a walk in and we don’t?” Levi snorted, “Because this is supposed to be a luxurious position of authority. Pass me the body wash, shota delight.” Eren stood under the spray for a moment before giggling causing Erwin to giggle and then Armin. Levi rolled his eyes leaning over and kissing Eren. Once clean Eren and Armin borrowed clothes from their boyfriends and they all went to sleep, happy, and sated. Erwin told Armin that this was the best birthday he’d celebrated since his father died. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
10:00 am: Missed call Jean  
10:01 am: Missed call Jean  
10:03 am Missed call Jean  
10:05 am Missed call Jean  
10:07 am Missed call Jean 

Erwin reached over fishing the phone off the table. Armin snuggled up against his side, hair sticking to the pillow and face scrunched from the noise. “Hello…” Erwin’s voice was gruff and scratchy. “Erwin,” Jean’s voice was frantic, desperate. Erwin woke fully hearing that familiar tone, “Erwin- oh god…Erwin, in my room…” Marco could be overheard crying, “He was there, he was right there…Jean, right there.” Erwin hung the phone up, rolling over Armin. His hands grasping the door handle as Armin fell of the bed, crying out. Erwin was out the door slamming it against the wall as he threw it back.

Levi had been warm and content, his arms tight around Eren’s sleeping form in front of him. His back firm against the cool cinder block walls, grounded and safe as he let his lips graze the skin of Eren’s shoulder, softly leaving kisses behind. It was in the middle of his lazy morning paradise he heard the sudden slam of a door and the cry of someone. In a matter of seconds he was wide awake, nerves on edge, and worried about protecting Eren and taking in his surroundings. He heard Armin call out for Erwin, Eren stirring in his arms, “Levi” his voice worried and confused. Levi pushed him forward rolling over him and tossing the cover over him as he grabbed his fatigue pants and rushed into the hall where he found the door to Erwin’s room and the living room wide open. He ran into the hall listening and following his intuition. He took the stairs 3 at a time till he landed at the second floor door.

Jean’s door was opened as Levi ran in taking in the sight of Erwin standing still in the room, a distraught Jean stroking and cradling Marco against his chest. Levi came forward grabbing Erwin’s arm, “Erwin, what’s going on?” Erwin stood still as a statue as Marco cried more. “Erwin, please…What’s going on?” Levi tried to figure out what Erwin was staring at. He’d seen Jean’s walls before, covered in his collage of candid photos, art, posters, and other various types of media and print. 

Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, his pink Floyd poster was still against his Civil Wars poster. The sketch of Eren he’d done that Levi enjoyed was still up in the far right corner. Everything was in its correct place. “The pictures.” Levi looked to Erwin, “The pictures Levi, the pictures…look at the pictures.” Levi walked closer to the wall. When it finally sunk in what he was looking at he felt sick. He felt sick for Jean, for Marco, for his friends. He felt scared for Eren and for himself being so close to this. 

On the wall all of the candid photos had been replaced with new ones. Ones of Jean from over the last three months. He was sitting at his desk in some, performing normal activities. Armin was in a few, sometimes they were sitting eating at a café, sometimes they were in his dorm doing homework. Eren was in them, one of him and Levi. Then there were the pictures of him sleeping, sometimes taken inches from his face, pictures of Marco sleeping, of Erwin and Armin kissing in the car the night of the incident. There were so many of Marco and Jean engaging in intimate behaviors. Levi grabbed one with a tissue from the bedside table, looking at it more closely. It was a picture from offline, Eren, Jean, and Armin standing together at an ugly Christmas sweater party. Their sweaters each had a line from the song “Santa Claus is coming to Town.” Jean’s read “He sees when you’re sleeping,” Armin’s read, “He’s knows when you’re awake,” and Eren’s “He knows if you’ve been bad or good.” Levi dropped the photo on the table as Marco finally calmed down enough to speak.

”He was up there….he’s been there the entire time…oh God, Jean…he’s been there the whole time.” Erwin and Levi looked at one another, “What?” Levi’s voice sounded so strange. Marco pointed to the open cubby above the closets. “I heard him leave. I thought I was just drunk and it was someone else but no one’s up here with us. The door is open.” Erwin walked to cubby hole noting that there were things in the cubby hole. “Levi, call the police. They’re right.” Levi called the police while Erwin called Armin telling him not to come back to his dorm and telling Eren the same. They were to lock the door and wait for them to come down. Levi called Hanji asking them to bring Donner to him. Erwin turned to the wall looking at the pictures of him and Armin, at dinner, in class, and there were even photos from last night of them at the bar right up until they entered the front door. They had been stalked for weeks and they had had no idea. 


	11. Beautiful Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin and Levi take care of Jean and Marco's situation as best they can while trying to prevent Armin and Eren from finding out just how close they had come to being hurt. Erwin tells Armin about the guilt he feels about his father's death and Armin helps them form a plan of attack.

The police took statements, photographs, and categorized the contents of the cubby. Jars of urine from sitting hours on end, a sleeping bag, food wrappers, a knife and rope were all neatly carted away for further investigation. Tapes were reviewed of coming and going. Somehow mistakes had occurred, tapes didn’t back up, sections were missing, cameras covered from some unknown entity. Whoever was doing this was a mastermind and psychopath. Marco told of nights where he’d dreamed of someone leaning over him, their breath on his face, a hand smoothing his brow. All dreams or so he thought. Jean asked if it was Jeeter, it had to be him. 

Jeeter had been released on bail and was missing. It made him their number one suspect. He’d had a checkered past, moving from one city to another. Legally emancipated at age 16 he’d been running his life under the radar ever since. But it just didn’t add up? What was his motive? Why Jean and why go through all of this trouble? There were more questions than answers and Erwin felt guilty. He felt like he’d let them all down. He’d gone to the police with Armin’s theory but even a stalker wouldn’t do things to this degree, right? The police told him that they have before but perhaps there was something else that made them all a target. Regardless, they needed to secure the room, secure the building, and keep panic from ensuing.

Erwin took Armin’s theory to heart, purposing that he was a hacker of some degree. In that case, changing the pass codes for employees and sending it out in emails was something to be avoided. Levi and Erwin would change them and only they would know them. The also had the window sealed shut in both rooms, noting that from a story Jean told them about coming home to the window open that he must have been scaling the pipe that lead to their dorm. The locks were changed on both doors and the cubby and closet doors removed in both rooms. Levi noticed that the room had been wired and pulled at the tiny lines in the base boards and corners while the police looked on in horror and fascination. It was like living in East Germany, big brother was always watching. Levi and Erwin were more concerned than they were letting on.

Levi and Erwin couldn’t help but want to catch this psycho who was obviously threatening those they loved and were responsible for. They told Jean he would be moving in with them for all intensive purposes. They had a third room that he could use. Jean was perplexed. He’d seen their apartment and had never noticed another room. Erwin explained that decorative flags that were on their TV wall actually hid a door to a supply room used as an emergency tornado shelter. There were no windows and there wasn’t a closet but the room was fairly large, from the front door of the dorm to their living room and could hold 25 people if need be. Eren and Armin would also stay with them until another alternative could be found. Marco wasn’t safe to go back to his dorm so he would continue to stay with Jean. Erwin and Levi hoped that by keeping them all close they could better control Jeeter’s future actions .

Eren, Armin, and Donner waited anxiously in the apartment for word from Levi or Erwin. Eren was curled up on the couch with Armin, staring at the TV as _Say Yes to the Dress_ played episode after episode. They worried about what could have possibly caused their boyfriends to leave so suddenly without a word. Soon they heard a knocking on the door and Erwin’s voice telling them it was okay to open the door. Donner jumped off the bed, barking and scratching at the floor when Levi entered. He took Donner’s collar and went into the bedroom shutting the door and locking it. Eren tried to not feel slighted; he wanted to comfort Levi, too. But, more importantly what had upset Levi so much?

Erwin had all sorts of things in his hands, mostly electronics from their dorm rooms like their laptops, phone chargers, and a change of clothes. He had things that belonged to Jean as well. Setting the things down he went over to the far corner of the room getting out his keys and taking down the Egyptian flag to reveal a door that Armin and Eren had found while alone in the apartment. He opened the door turning on the light and went to assembling a bed to go with another dresser and desk that was in almost pristine condition. There was an stand alone supply empty closet and the walls were a light sky blue. The two remained on the couch as Erwin finished his chore in silence, going back and forth from their dorms to the apartment and Levi could be heard crying softly in his room.

Armin didn’t know what was worse. The fact that something had obviously happened that was so upsetting that when he found out he too would be reacting like Erwin and Levi or that they were so obviously trying to delay telling them and suffering alone in their knowledge of said bad event. Eren hugged Armin tighter, his sorrow evident in his features each time he heard a particularly rough sob from Levi. Erwin finished setting the room up, having gone back and forth between the apartment and their rooms for the last time. After finishing he went to their fridge, opened a beer and sat down on the recliner bent forward over his knees. He looked so old and so tired. “Well, I know you’re curious as to what happened this morning.” He began fiddling with the bracelet on his wrist, “And what I am about to tell you is very disturbing. Jean and Marco are not injured, physically. But, mentally they are very disturbed and are currently at the police department for questioning and statements. I will need to pick them up when they call.” Eren and Armin sat wide eyed as Erwin explained the situation. Each griping fact Erwin gave them, the pictures he described, the fact that someone had been living in their room, taking pictures while they slept, had intimate encounters, it was all too much. 

Eren and Armin were in various stages of shock when Erwin got the call to pick Jean and Marco up. He explained that they’d all be staying in the apartment until they could come up with a better solution. Armin asked if he could go with Erwin but he shook his head. “No, stay here with Eren. When I get back you and I can talk.” He stood up, kissing Armin on the cheek as he grabbed his keys, “The door stays locked.” With that, he was gone. 

Jean sat limp in the car as Marco leaned against him. He was numb. If there was ever a time in his life he felt like this would happened he’d have never believed it. He kissed Marco’s head, nuzzling it as he hummed. Once inside the apartment he and Marco excused themselves and went to his new room. Thankfully Erwin had put the bed together and Armin had obviously taken to making it up for him. The bed was made but a corner left un-tucked as Jean lifted it allowing Marco to slip in. He removed his shirt and Marco’s. He wanted to hold him, feel him skin on skin. He wanted to love him and protect him. He wanted to forget what they had just gone through. 

Eren knocked on Levi’s door softly. He hadn’t heard anything for a while. Upon walking away he heard the lock click open. He opened the door, feeling the cool air of Levi’s AC unit. The only light came from dark blue rope lights around the baseboards of the room, Levi had mentioned that sleeping in the dark made the nightmares worse. Levi was on his side, Donner had obviously been on the bed next to him for when Eren laid down he could feel the heat from the now missing body. Eren reached out gently stroking his face, his lips. He curled around Levi putting his head under his chin and breathing in his scent. Levi pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around his waist and kissing the skin above his collar bone, “he could have hurt you.” Eren closed his eyes, “We can talk about it after we get some sleep.” Eren kissed the top of Levi’s head as Levi hummed, “yeah,”

Erwin was distant, lost in his thoughts as Armin covered him in the duvet crawling in next to him and pressing himself against his side. Erwin stayed quiet for the longest time until he sighed, his hand finding Armin’s under the cover. “I couldn’t save my father. I’m why he’s dead.” The small pathetic voice was lost in the void. The only light coming from the corner of the small window at the top of the wall not covered by a small curtain Erwin had made to keep the room cool in the mornings but still let light in when he was there. Armin clenched his hand, “I’m sure that’s not true.” Erwin was quiet again. Armin ventured, “talk to me” and he did.

Erwin’s father was an academic man, loved the fine arts and had a taste for expensive liquors and rare prints. Erwin idolized him and for most of his formative years he asked to be homeschooled and his father be his personal teacher. He later joined a private academy after he became the president of the university. Confronted with budget issues of the last president, extensive audit along with other issues that threatened the university and its future Mr. Smith began to withdraw. Since he was a child, his father shared only what was necessary but Erwin knew that his theories about what was going on among staff and those of the last president’s inner circle of councilmen made him the center of a lot of pent up aggression from those on campus involved, but his father would never reveal any discerning details and often completely shot the topic down when alone.

Erwin had finished basic training and went straight in to active duty. Returning home after almost a year he found his father in his study listening to the same familiar records. His mother was a mezzo soprano, her voice echoed with a hint of nostalgia. She only sang in languages she spoke fluently and was known for her sultry gaze on stage that would cast a spell on anyone it landed on. His father was among a pile of papers, upset and brow creased in concentration. Erwin asked him how he had been and if he realized he forgot to pick him up from the bus station. He told him he couldn’t stand it. He couldn’t stand the thought of his son giving up the chance to go to school, to possibly take over in his place, all just to go fight like an animal. He had hoped Erwin would help him clean up the corruption at the school but instead he’d have to do it alone and that would require drastic measures. 

Erwin was upset that his father felt this way. He’d never said he wasn’t going to return to school but he felt like he was doing what he needed to for his country and more importantly he was doing good by himself. He’d always wanted to make a difference somehow and if his father only knew the achievements he’d already achieved, how high he’d climbed in the ranks already, then surly he wouldn’t be acting like Erwin was failing him. They got into a bitter argument that resulted in Erwin demanding that his father either finally tell him what’s been going on at the school or never bring it up again. Mr. Smith told Erwin that money had been missing from various trusts and scholarships. There were also patterns that student information was being altered, lab security levels and time stamps were also changed. They even had a number of professors that would go missing for long amounts of time and with no explanation or in some cases, recollection of ever leaving work to not been seen till hours or days later. They sometimes never returned or had what looked like wounds on their body.

Erwin listened to all his father had to tell him. They stayed up late discussing the possible implications of Mr. Smith’s more detailed and frightening hypothesis and he proved that he had the data to back it up. Erwin decided that he would ask for an extension of his leave from two weeks to a month so he could help his father as best as he could. It in the last few days that he was approached by a scientist in one of the research labs asking if any progress had been made about the grant money that had been withdrew recently. Erwin spoke with the man, deciding after a few minutes that he was on their side of the fight and he told him that they had actually started to get to the root of the problem. The man seemed pleased and thanked Erwin for his time and for the reaffirming information. 

On the day Erwin left to return overseas his father hugged him, crying slightly, and told him he was the most precious thing in this world. He was his only confidant and it was because he trusted him he knew they would win this fight. He made him promise that when this stint was finished and the corruption gone that he’d return to the university, pursue his degree and climb in the ranks. He wanted the university to stay in the hands of people who cared. Erwin promised, kissing his cheek and hugging him for the last time.

It was in the HQ in Bahrain where Erwin found that his father was murdered by the scientist he’d spoken with eight months earlier. It was unclear what his motivation was but Erwin launched head first forming an almost obsessive devotion to unearthing why someone who was on their side would have turned against them and killed his father. It was true that the scientist was upset after being terminated due but could that really have been the only motive? Not likely, not in Erwin’s opinion. Erwin worked tirelessly from wherever he was, whenever he could, trying to piece it together. The trial moved closer and closer but he was never in any position to take leave. Levi was able to take leave when his uncle became deathly ill and he made the trip down to have a look for himself. He found what Erwin was looking for in back channels and through less than legal means. The man had been paid to kill his father. 

Convicted in a speedy trial and sentenced to 4 years in jail due to a plea bargain for a lesser charge, Levi called Erwin from his uncle’s funeral to tell him the news. Both men had lost the most important men life had given them and both were less than satisfied with how they had passed. In only a short few months the scientist would be found dead in his cell, needle hanging from his arm, and another inmate charged for smuggling in drugs and assisting a suicide. Levi was more than skeptical. Erwin simply crumpled the report and went out for another day in the sand and his own personal hell. 

Erwin’s words dried up, coming so close to spilling what happened after, what happened to Levi and Erwin in their last two years of service, the darkest days of their lives. He couldn’t open that door, not yet. Not when he’d failed once again in protecting those he was in charge of and now cared for personally. Armin stroked the skin over the knuckled of his index finger in small soothing circles like Erwin did to himself. “You came back to finish what your father started. You came back and were put immediately in a position of power in charge of others that you feel like you let down because the system is still broken and Jeeter and possibly others are using the same loop holes to do even more horrible things.” Erwin nodded, “The film…the door codes….it’s all similar. Hanji…” Armin shifted, “What about Hanji?” Erwin sighed again, he was so tired.

”Their research is very, very promising. What they and Levi are working on together is impressive. The grant money is pouring in and we have a ton of military contractors interested. I can’t reveal too much more but I fear that this is all going to come together, suddenly, and it’s going to affect more than just the school. We need to find Jeeter and we need to find out how he had been manipulating the system. The police…are going to be next to worthless.” With that, Erwin rolled over enveloping Armin in his arms, “Let’s finish this some other time. I’m sorry.” Armin snuggled closer, “There is nothing to be sorry about.” Erwin kissed the top of his head. “I’m sorry about your father, Erwin. He sounded like an amazing man, just like you are. Thank you for telling me all of this.” 

Armin lay next to Erwin, neither were asleep but rather enjoying the silence and feeling one another. Armin then had a thought.   
  
”Hm?  
”What was Jeeter majoring in?  
”I don’t know…”  
”Do you understand why I’m asking?”   
Erwin wrinkled his brow, thinking. “I think so…but I’m old so help me out…”  
”If it was science related then he may be working with the same people who paid that man, the same people who have access to whatever means allow them to manipulate the security systems, and I know this seems farfetched, trust me and just give it a chance, but what if he did become obsessed with Jean and used his perks of working with them to stalk him? He’s missing and that could mean he’s either genuinely lurking somewhere or that after today they’ll take care of him like they did the scientist because they won’t want you to get a hold of him and question him.” Armin paused to take a breath, “Are you working with the current president, Zackly?”  
”Yes, I’ve been secretly working with him. He was a trusted companion of my father and vice president at the time.  
”Then, if he was indeed in a science field, we need to possibly look at things from that perspective. He may have just given us exactly what we need to get a leg up on them and that will make them very angry.” 

Erwin clutched Armin close to him, “your mind is beautiful.” Kissing Armin passionately he moved to leave the bed, “Where are you going?” Armin sat up, “To tell Levi about your beautiful mind.” Armin stayed sitting up and soon a figure appeared in the door. It was Eren, he’d obviously been asleep. “Um…they kicked me out and told me to come in here with you.” He shuffled over to the bed. “Can I get in and go back to sleep?” Armin moved over, “Only if you hold me and don’t kick.” Both boys fell asleep, spending their first night in their new dorm room unaware of the risks their lovers were taking in the other room setting up a game of chess against a faceless opponent with unknown skill. 


	12. Thanksgiving Shades of Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Focused mostly on Jean and Marco with a small aside with Levi and Eren. We're starting a crescendo.

Life in the apartment over the next few weeks proved to be just what Jean needed, even if he was reluctant to admit it. He had been yelled at countless times for using the personal kitchen. Levi had given him speech after speech about how the kitchen was now ruined and nothing had a clearly defined articles. He kept using words like _pareve_ and using phrases like _go make that traif somewhere else_ and _Who puts meat above a milk carton?_ Marco seemed to not get in trouble near as much, claiming that he went online to look up do’s and don’ts of a Kosher kitchen. He started cooking for Jean soon after and Levi approved. 

His room was great if not a little claustrophobic since it lacked even the small window at the top of the wall like Erwin’s had. The sky blue paint was comforting and soon the walls were decorated again and Marco’s things were placed among Jean’s own. They had a cozy space for working in the corner with Marco’s TV attached to the wall and underneath game system after game system. It was only the awkward moments when Jean returned to the room to see if anything had changed. Levi suggested that leaving a few things in the room may be a good idea. Eren and Armin’s rooms were still set up with a basic amount of things like a pillow on the bed and posters on the wall. It was the odd look of the door-less closets and cubby holes that made Jean’s stomach tighten. All of the pictures were gone, taken as evidence. He came once every three days while Levi waited outside, stoic and ready for anything. 

surprisingly in the studio he was alive with passion and inspiration. He had befriended a girl named Tina who was working on 1000 origami moths for a large instillation piece. They would often crack jokes and listen to their music loudly after everyone else had left the studio. Sometimes after a long night they’d walk across the street to Sky Bar and grab a few drinks till Jean took a cab home or Marco joined them. Tina was a great friend and colleague; the same could not be said about Krista. 

Krista was a snake in the grass. Her likable personality, large blue eyes, and well meaning gestures soon became hollow. They took on an edge of hardness and sarcasm. He had first made this discovery after hearing her talk with her girlfriend Ymir about various people in their Art Education class in a less than favorable way. Ymir seemed to be less than concerned when Krista expressed her worry over cutting it in the program, telling her to just do what she did before and everything would work out. Jean had appeared finding her sifting through his sketches for midterms leaving him with an uneasy feeling. 

While what she had been producing lately was adequate for the class he did wonder what caught the eye of the art council in the first place. Jean had tried to have as much diversity in his portfolio as possible, knowing that that would be the best way to gaining early acceptance to the program. Jean enjoyed creating dark almost occult pieces for his classes. The feedback he got was constructive and he was experimenting with different mediums and only working in the colors black, white, and red. It wasn’t what he was doing in his free time, no that was a lot more dramatic and more in the realm of fantasy. Photorealistic portraits of his friends set to dramatic scenes inspired by the French revolution and even a bit of the Scouts vs. Titans mystique Jean had developed after thinking about the rivalry. Jean kept those at home, batting away a sneaky Marco who was too curious for his own good. 

Tina and Jean went next door to get burritos and recoup from hours in the cold studio. She was a strong independent woman with a boisterous personality and wise beyond her years. For her other project she was working with bright colors and large breasted caricatures of political figures from around the world. Jean didn’t get it yet, but that didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy looking at it and helping her create fake Euros in the digital media lab with female Putin’s on them. Tina drank her coke leaning over the table, “So, how’s life?” 

Jean swallowed, “its going.” Tina’s eyes narrowed slightly as she pursed her lips, “naw man, you don’t get to do that. Tell me what’s going on. You’re work is ridiculous right now and Marco is always texting you.” Jean decided confiding in someone not involved might not be a bad idea. Tina was trustworthy and smart. “I’m, we’re, being stalked.” Jean waited for Tina’s reaction. Not receiving one he continued, “He was my roommate when I got here, the one that attacked me. He’d apparently started stalking me after it and was even breaking in and sleeping, living, in the cubby hole above the closet in the dorm.” Tina was perplexed, “I never lived in the dorms here. What do mean cubby hole? Like the ones in kindergartens? Was he a dwarf or something?” Jean snorted, explaining how the dorm is laid out.

”So that’s why Marco is keeping tabs on you. He’s nervous that this guy could be anywhere.” Jean nodded, “Yeah, we both keep late hours and I have Marco take a guard when he leaves work and goes to the dorm.”  
”Where are y’all living now?”  
”With our RAs and friends who he was also keeping tabs on.”  
”That’s how many people?  
”Six.”  
”Fuuuuuuuck.”  
”Haha I know, we only have one bathroom. We sometimes all sit in the living room around the TV bitching at each other. My RA Levi said he actually liked it, it had an ancestral squabble feeling about it all.”  
”He’s Jewish?”  
”Yeah?”  
”Well, a Jew, a feisty Italian like your boyfriend, and you a hot headed artist all under one roof is probably worthy of its own sitcom.” Jean sat back laughing, “Wanna go back and finish?” Tina stood up. “Word.”

Jean and Tina returned to their cubicles. They shared a wall but Jean’s space was huge at the back of the room and over to his right was a smaller cubicle that belonged to Krista. She was there layering and smiled when they walked in, “Hey Jean! Hey Tina! How are y’all? This deadline is coming up soon.” She motioned to her canvas and the various smatters of color on her palette. “How is your stuff coming along, Jeanie.” Jean was taught to respect women but her voice made him want to punch her in the face. “Good, you know. I don’t have much to worry about.” He said smugly as Tina rolled her eyes flicking paint at him. “I wish I could say the same. I’m worried.” She was fishing for compliments and Jean just couldn’t do it. He’d given in in the beginning but pulling all nighters in a small space really brought out people’s true personalities. He just couldn’t put the nagging feeling away and after all the shit he’d been through recently he didn’t feel like ignoring his gut because of a sweet smile. _What was it they said in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo? The threat of offending is so strong that we ignore our instincts because of it? Fuck that, I don’t care if I offended anyone._

Both managed to shift the focus back on their own art and soon the music was turned up and everyone was consumed in their own thing. Jean and Tina were mixing colors on his large drafting table that was the focal point and perk of the back cubicle when he put his brush in his water. He turned to look at painting called he referred to as _The Monster Within_ , a series a self portrait representations of the aspects of Jean’s character he wasn’t proud of, when he heard Tina clear her throat, “I know your ass didn’t put this brush in my coke like a punk ass motherfucker.” Jean turned to see that he had indeed been dipping his brushes in Tina’s coke since they got back, his water pristine in its mason jar next to it. “Tina, I…I’m…” She turned, “Gunna buy my ass a new coke is what the fuck you’re gunna do.” Jena and Tina burst into a fit of giggles. They’d been in the studio for hours and hours this week and everything just became hilarious to them. Jean’s phone began to ring. He removed it and found that it was Marco.

He answered the phone, “Hey babe, what’s up?” Marco sounded out of breath, “Nothing much.” Jean grew concerned, “Why do you sound like you were running?” Marco laughed, “I was. I went for a run at the student rec center. I’m heading towards the dorm now.” Jean’s stomach tightened in anxious fear. “Are you alone?” Marco sighed, “Yeah but you know it’s a lot closer than work and I called you for that reason.” Jean still worried, “But, there are people around?” Marco continued to climb the hill, “Yeah. I’m at the top of the hill now. Almost at the dorm, I was calling to ask you what you’re doing for Thanksgiving” Jean took his brushes the sink to clean them, “Are you headin’ out?” Jean nodded at Tina. “I’ll drive you home. I’m parked at Sky Bar.”

Jean returned to washing his brushes, “I’m about to head home too. I…I don’t know, actually. I forgot that it was even November. Haha” Jean could imagine the face Marco was making. He heard the door unlocking to the dorm and felt immediately better. “Well, I was wondering if you’d like to come to my home for Thanksgiving. My dad suggested it.” Jean and Tina made their way down to the ground floor and outside walking across to her car, “Um…he did?” Marco snorted, “Yeah, listen we can talk about it when you get home. Don’t worry. Bye Babe.” Marco hung up leaving Jean in Tina’s car confused. “Why the long face?” Jean turned to Tina, “Um Marco’s dad suggested I come to Thanksgiving.” Tina turned onto the street, “That’s nice of him.” Jean sat in silence till the dorm was in view, “Marco hasn’t ever talked about his family. I haven’t told my mom about him yet, either. I’m horrible, aren’t I?” Tina snorted, “Sounds like it. If he’s important to you telling your mom is kind of important. Get out, go figure it out. I ain’t got time for you young people and your love problems. “

Jean waved goodbye walking up and into the dorm. He turned the knob on the door opening it wide to the sight of Armin and Erwin both on their laptops surrounded by stacks of papers and books. “But if they had just taken Moscow and left fucking Stalingrad alone.” Armin said typing away on his laptop. “I know, I know, baby. But the symbolism…” Erwin said exasperated, “Fuck that. Symbolism resulted in the stop of Blitz.” Erwin pulled his glasses off rubbing his eyes, “But Stalingrad was the bloodiest most decisive battle of WWII. Over 500,000 lives alone. It’s significance should not be tempered by what-ifs and-“ Armin’s head snapped up, “Erwin, I swear if you defend such an asinine military decision I will lose all respect for you and go put you in bed because your age has obviously caught up with you. “ His piercing blue eyes revealed how serious he was. Jean snorted a laugh, “He’s not so cute when he’s like that is he?” Erwin turned to Jean, mouth open, “No…no…I’m concerned. Are you like a gremlin? Should I not feed you after midnight?” Jean noted the take out on the coffee table. Armin’s eyebrow rose, “I’m sorry, I bet you would have thought proper buttons was a waste of resources in Napoleons army as well.” Erwin gasped, “You WOUND ME!”

Jean opened his door before they really went at it. Armin hadn’t been sleeping as much due to his studies. Jean needed to make a point of telling Erwin that Armin required at least 6 hours a night or he was a bitch to deal with. It was best to just put him in bed and disregard the protesting till he was in a better mood. Poor Erwin. Marco was laying on the bed with Jean’s retro blue, purple, and yellow lava lamp on illuminating the room. Marco was wearing only a pair of black briefs while he laid on his back holding a text book above his face, one hand moving against his stomach, across his defined abs and down towards the hem of his briefs. 

Jean took in the sight, smiling, “Hey babe, you look like you’re studying hard.” Marco’s lips quirked up, “I’m trying to put theory into practice.” Jean shucked his bag off his shoulders and onto the floor. Jean began to sing, “a little party never hurt no one” as Marco put his book down on the table. “Come here and party with me.” Jean stalked forward, “You wanna party?” Marco took Jean’s hand pulling him on top of him. He slowly kissed Jean as his hands roamed his body, rolling his hips into him. Jean hissed as Marco’s hands went under his shirt to tweak his nipples. Marco pulled back smirking, he knew that was the quickest way to turn Jean on. “Babe?” Jean’s head was fuzzy, “yeah” Marco rolled into him again, “would you like to come to Thanksgiving with me?” Jean’s mind took a minute but it caught up to him, “Are you seducing me into saying yes?” Marco giggled, “Is it working?” Jean rolled off of him onto his side, “Yeah but let’s talk about this before we do anything.” Jean kissed Marco’s nose.

Marco pulled at Jean’s gym shorts, “Let’s hear it.” Jean snorted, “I would like to go with you but what have you told your dad about me?” Marco’s eyes lit up, “That you’re amazing.” Marcos goofy smile was infectious, “So you lied?” Marco swatted Jean’s arm, “I told the truth. You’re amazing, Jean. I told him how kind you are, how talented you are, how you take care of me and check in on me.” Jean felt like an asshole. He often did when it came to Marco. “Oh…um…my God Marco I don’t know what to say.” He could feel his cheek getting warmer, “I don’t want this to come off the wrong way, but I haven’t told my mother about you.” Marco’s face faltered for a second, “Oh that’s fine Jean it’s not a big deal really” but that wasn’t true and Jean needed to explain himself, “I haven’t told her about you because I’ve never dated a guy officially and I just didn’t know how to tell her. I don’t really know what her opinion on it is.” 

Marco still looked a bit underwhelmed, “I thought you and Eren…” Jean laughed, “Um yeah, but Marco, Mr. Jaeger isn’t really all that accepting. I don’t know how Levi is going to be brought into the conversation at their house so…” Jean kissed Marco, “I’ll call mom and tell her about you and that you want me to go to Thanksgiving at your place. The only thing is…would your dad mind if she came?” Marco was confused, “Um but wouldn’t your dad and mom want to stay at your place?” Jean shook his head, “Dad is dead.” Marco’s eyes lit up, “oh, Jean…I’ll ask. My mother is dead too.”  
Jean didn’t know that, “When?”  
”I was twelve.”  
”I’m sorry, Marco.”  
”You?”  
”Three.”  
”I guess this is something we should visit later, right?”  
”If you want to talk about it now we can.”  
”I want to have sex.” Jean’s face was flushed. “Now? You want to go all the way now?” Marco smiled rubbing Jean’s arm up and down soothingly. “Um yeah. I’m tired of getting interrupted. I’m not expecting anything crazy, just something nice. Lazy sex, the sleep deprived college way.” Marco winked patting Jean’s face.

Jean smiled reaching over into his nightstand producing lube. He searched for condom but wasn’t having any luck, “What are you looking for?” Jean turned grimacing, “Condom.” Marco snorted, “Are you clean?” Jean nodded, “Then I trust you.” Marco moved closer to Jean cupping his face with his hands and kissing him. Jean’s lips moved against his lovingly, tender. Marco deepened the kiss taking Jean’s lip and sucking it. Marco started pulling off Jean’s clothes till both were down to nothing but their briefs. Jean broke away sliding off his own before Marcos.

Jean felt like a nervous virgin and an old lover at the same time. He had starred at Marco nude form many a night after they fooled around or were simply too hot and slept naked together. Marco pressed himself against Jean, their erections rubbing together as he swung his leg over Jean’s hip. Jean rubbed the lube over his fingers, turning to kiss Marco as his hands went to his entrance, sliding in eliciting a moan from Marco. He rocked on Jean’s digits rolling his hips against his and causing Jean to shudder from stimulation.

Jean thought he’d never seen anyone as beautiful as Marco, with his hooded eyes and glorious dusting of freckles. He kissed him, anywhere he could reach while stretching him. He wanted to take care of him, to make sure he felt good. Once he was stretched Jean removed his fingers reaching for the lube and moving over Marco. Marco had other ideas, taking the lube and coating his hand and then Jean’s cock. Jean hissed at the sensation of Marco’s hand stroking him. “You’re so amazing, Jean.” Marco’s voice sounded aroused but was sincere. Jean removed his hand and positioned himself at Marco’s entrance lifting his legs up on his hips. “Let’s hope you say that after this.” Marco laughed, “No pressure.” 

Jean pushed in slowly, letting Marco get used to the intrusion. He waited anxiously for any sign that Marco wasn’t comfortable, plagued by the knowledge he’d suffered through uncomfortable sex before. He worried he wouldn’t tell him if he didn’t like it. Jean kissed his shoulder and waited till Marco rolled his hips, “you can move Jean.” Jean started off slow, with long strokes, searching for Marco’s sweet spot as tiny sighs fell from his mouth. He knew he found it when Marco clenched up, tightening his legs around Jean’s waist pushing strongly back onto him. “Jean, ah- there, Jean.” Jean continued thrusting into that spot as he picked up the pace till a steady string of moans and curses fell from their lips. Marco brought Jean down to kissing him roughly as they neared the end.

Jean wanted Marco to feel as good as possible. Snaking his hand between them he took his swollen cock in his hand and stroked him in time with his thrusts. Marco met him every time with his hips, bucking onto Jean causing him to come closer and closer to the edge. One final thrust and stroke pushed Marco and Jean over the edge, seeing white, and marking one another. Marco’s hands clutched Jean’s shoulders as he rode out his orgasm while Jean’s pulled his hips closer to him burying himself deep inside. Collapsing on top Marco Jean felt himself smile against the skin of his shoulder. Marco hummed a content sound. His hands stroked Jean’s back softly.

After their breathing leveled Jean rolled off and to the side, pulling at Marco’s waist to get closer. “How was it?” he asked him, somewhat anxious. Marco grabbed tissues from the nightstand cleaning himself off, “It was…” Jean waited with baited breath. “It was fucking great, Jean. I’ve seriously never felt better.” Jean’s face was smug, “That’s right babe, let me take care of you and it’ll always be great. I’m like wine, I get better with age.” Marco couldn’t help but laugh, “You’re ego will suffocate us in this room if you’re not careful.” Jean kissed the crook of Marco’s neck, “When is Thanksgiving?”Marco fully slapped Jean’s arm, making him jump.  
“Jean! Do you even know what day it is?”  
”No…not really.”  
”It’s Friday and Thanksgiving is this Thursday.”  
”What? Nawwwww that can’t be.”  
”It is, doofus.”  
”But I haven’t seen anything related to Thanksgiving!”  
”You didn’t see the turkey costume Eren wore to lab the other day? Hanji came by as a Pilgrim and Levi refused to walk with them! Jean, my God!”  
”I’ll call my mom tomorrow. I guess she figured I would be coming home sometime in the week and not for the full week we have off. Why are Armin and Erwin doing school stuff if it’s Friday?!”  
”Erwin and Levi are going on Wednesday to your hometown for Thanksgiving and they have papers due when they are back. Well, Erwin is grading papers and Armin is data mining him for information on their final. I got mad respect for his ways.” Marco burst into a fit of giggles

Jean called his mother in the morning after Marco asked his father if her coming would be okay. They lived two and half hours away from one another. Marco and Jean would drive up with the rest of the group on Wednesday; stay the night with Ms. Kirschstein and then the next day she would follow them to Marco’s, staying the night to go black Friday shopping at the outlets and other stores that Marco was close to. On Saturday they would head back to school for the last football game and then spend Sunday recouping. Jean was nervous to introduce Marco as his boyfriend. His mother didn’t seem to really get it when he tried to explain and he felt awkward and rushed because she heading out to work. He hoped she fell in love with Marco. He planned on keeping him around for a long time.

Erwin asked him about his plans but he knew he was really waiting for an opportunity to dig for information about Armin. He told him his grandfather was a wonderful man and would love anyone Armin cared about. He knew for a fact he wouldn’t have anything negative to say and if he was worried about how he would take him being gay, well that wasn’t something he saw being a problem about either. They would all have dinner at the Jaeger’s more than likely and that would be the test. He suggested that he and Levi be prepared for the worst but hope for the best. Mikasa had been unusually candid with him about her fears of Mr. Jaeger ever meeting Annie. In fact, Mikasa and Jean had split up because she realized that she really was a lesbian, not just questioning. A lot of awkward sex and honest conversations had led to Jean’s broken heart but he was happy his friend had confided in him and a little smug she hadn’t shared this with Eren. 

The day they arrived in their hometown Jean walked up to the front door, hand in hand with Marco and knocked. He felt stupid not just going in but his key wasn’t out and they had their things with them. Jean’s mother answered the door with the brightest smile Marco had seen to date, “Jean! Come here! Come here and hug your poor mother you don’t call enough.” Marco nearly died. She was a guilter. This was going to be great. “Mom! I call you!” She held her arms out wide, “Don’t lie, Jean. I raised you better. Or have you forgotten?” Marco laughed as Jean moved to hug her. “Mom, this Marco.” Jean was still holding his hand. “Hello Ms. Kirschstein. It’s very nice to meet you.” He held out his other hand for her to shake. She looked from her son to Marco before returning to Jean. With her hands on her hips she admonished, “So, he’s why you haven’t been calling. You get a boyfriend and you don’t have time for the woman who birthed you. I bet he cooks for you, too.” Marco was scared. He wasn’t sure if she was really upset or not. Her face betrayed nothing. “He makes good food.” Jean admitted shrugging. Ms. Kirschstein turned to Marco launching herself at him and bear hugging him. “Well, it could be worse. You could have brought Eren home.” _Oh boy, if she only knew._

Marco was welcomed with open arms and blackmail to use against Jean, baby books to elementary school, middle school, clubs, even his first communion was documented and laid out for Marco to enjoy. “You never told me you were catholic!” Jean shrugged, “I’m not practicing.” He mumbled while Jean’s mother looked on disapprovingly. “Are you anything Marco?” Marco’s trade mark smile appeared, “Catholic.” Jean’s mother praised the Lord her son had found a good catholic boy. “Do you come from a large family, Marco?” Marco nodded, “Yes ma’am, I’m an only child but my father is one of five and I have too many cousins to count. This year, though, it’ll just be my dad and I since we’re having you two over as guests. Trust me, you don’t want to be thrown into that dysfunction just yet.” Mrs. Kirschstein laughed, “Oh, we know. I’m one of three but the dysfunction is enough for twenty. What a wonderful treat it is to have you with us Marco.” 

Marco felt his heart swell, “Thank you, ma’am. I’m really happy to be here.” Jean smiled taking a seat by Marco on the couch and taking his hand. “Babe, you’re great. But, can we please put away the pictures of me in the tub playing with Barbie dolls?” Marco’s eye narrowed, “No, sir. I wish to gaze at my favorites for a bit longer.” Ms. Kirschstein cackled. They were having so much fun. Jean looked at his phone, hoping that Eren and Armin were having just as much fun as they were. 

Marco’s father was a large Italian man who looked like he was once the most handsome Mafiso of Italy’s most notorious and charming gang. Jean couldn’t help but appreciate the fact Marco would more than likely age to look like that. He had tan skin, green eyes, dark brown hair, and well defined broad shoulders that Jean was crushed into as soon as he opened the door. Ms. Kirschstein stifled her giggles as Jean sputtered for air. “Dad, this is Jean and his wonderful mother, Ms. Kirschstein.” Mr. Bodt took her hand, giving it a light kiss, “Ciao Bella.” He winked, flashing a devious smile Jean had been on the receiving end of many times when Marco wanted to charm him. The apple didn’t fall far from the tree. His mother accepted the compliment with grace, turning on her own French charms. “Merci Monsieur Bodt.” Marco and Jean exchanged glances; this was going to be interesting and potentially awkward. 

Thanksgiving at the Bodt home was an Italian dream. Jean had never eaten so much good and authentic Italian cuisine. He loved the small Americanized touches in the dishes. Marco’s father had various bottles of wine that they were all steadily going through. He’d brought up a few vintage French ones for Ms. Kirschstein and was entertaining her with his stories of his time living in a small French village. Jean could tell some things where being omitted and he asked Marco. “Well, my dad actually was in the mob, Jean. He was in France doing some not so legal things.” Marco’s words were soft as if he was explaining the obvious. Jean was shocked, “You mean he really was in the mafia? You’re dad was a mobster?” Marco nodded, “He still has connections. I’ve been raised knowing and my mother actually met him on a job. She was an undercover police officer. Haha.” Jean was engrossed, “More…I demand more!” 

Marco told Jean that his father was running from the scene of the crime when he ducked into a tailor’s shop. He knew the tailor would hide him and while he was tearing through the shop he walked in on him taking the measurements of a woman. He said when he saw her, time stopped and he forgot all about needing to hide. He instead, took a flower from one of the arrangements around the shop, walked up to her, and got down on one knee asking her if she’d marry him. “What did she say?” Jean prompted, “Obviously she said yes. She joined him on the run. Actually, she had an idea of who he was when he walked in from working on trying and combat the gang problem in southern Italy but as soon as she met him it was all over. They fell in love, at first sight. Just like a Disney movie.” Jean hugged Marco to him kissing his temple. “Jean, would you have run off with me?” Marco teased, “I think so. You’re a work of art, babe.”

Marco’s father cleared his throat, “Love abounds in this room, it seems.” Marco laughed, “Jean, tell me about yourself. I’ve heard a lot from Marco and even more from your Joli mother. But, we have yet to be able to sit and talk. Marco why don’t you help Ms. Kirschstein decide on her Black Friday shopping route. You know the stores better than me.” Marco knew that was a lie, his father loved to shop but he took his leave anyway. “Well, um…sir…I’m an artist. I want to make art, travel, live freely, and then once I start a family I want to also teach art to kids.” Mr. Bodt sat down next to him leaning back in the seat, “You want a family of your own?” Jean played with the hem of his sweater. “Yes sir, a large one. I want a lot of kids and then grandchildren. I want to live big house where I can paint and spend time with my spouse. It’s nothing grand but it’s perfect for me.” Jean smiled imagining his kids running around causing havoc playing with paint as he chased them around. He pictured his spouse cooking a large pot of stew for the cold day, calling them into the kitchen for dinner. He imagined how Marco’s face, flushed from the heat of the pot would look. 

Marco’s father hummed in approval. “You know Jean, Marco’s only ever dated one other person and I wanted to kill him.” Jean’s face fell. “Oh umm yeah he mentioned him. But, we haven’t really talked in depth about him.” Jean felt his throat tighten up. Mr. Bodt changed the channel to another football game that was beginning. “He swears that you’re not like him, that you take care of him. Have you told your mother about the stalker? Marco told me about it. I’ve always kept him in the loop and he does the same for me. It’s just us, you know? Your mom doesn’t seem to know, I understand that telling her in your opinion might make things worse but you’re all she has. I like you, Jean. I think you really fit with Marco and I’m not going to lie, I like your mother. If you want me to keep up with her while you’re away. I can do that. But you need to tell her in case something else happens to you.” Jean knew Marco’s father had a point. They sat a bit longer on the couch as the game went to halftime.

”I’ll tell her after she shops.” Mr. Bodt finished his wine, “Good choice. Never ruin a woman’s shopping.” Jean looked into the kitchen seeing Marco and his mother laughing and cutting coupons. “Do you like me, Mr. Bodt? Am I good enough for Marco?” Marco’s father looked surprised, “Well, I don’t know. I definitely never felt good enough for Marco’s mother. She dealt with a lot of shit being married to me till we came over to the states and settled down. We brought my family over slowly and weaned ourselves out of the more illegal aspects of the family business. A shame really, Marco has such potential. He decided to take on a business minor to please me but he’d got real talent when it comes to writing. Maybe he’ll write up your art expo pieces for you one day?” He chuckled good naturedly before slapping Jean on his back. “I’d love that.”

Marco really did have talent. It scared him when he first asked if Jean wanted to read a piece for his class to catch any errors. When your sexy boyfriend says that he is majoring in creative writing and mass media you fear he’s just another pretty face with mediocre talents. Instead, he was pleased to find anything that Marco wrote was fantastic. He would love for Marco to sell him and his art with his words one day, one day soon, hopefully. 

After more wine and football they all went out for the grand black Friday rush. Jean had always hated this part of the holiday but his mother lived for it. She took down anyone in her way, slapping coupons down and bringing prices to the floor. She was vicious and Marco’s father loved it. He could be heard laughing at the devastation she left in her wake. Marco enjoyed it as well, but he wasn’t a chump either, sneaking away and wracking a haul of his own up before returning at their designated check point. Marco’s father smiled, “Got me anything?” He ruffled Marco’s hair, “Or is it all for Jean?” Marco snorted, “It’s all for Ms. Kirschstein. Neither of you helped us cut coupons.” Jean’s mother cackled side hugging Marco, “Yes! You can hang with me anytime, Marco.”

Telling Jean’s mother that Friday night was whole other story. Marco corroborated his story but she was distraught, her only son, the target of a madman. She wept, totally inconsolable until both boys were shooed away by Mr. Bodt with a bottle of wine and plate of cheese. Jean left after seeing the calm re-assuring look of his face as he sat down across from her and placed his hand over hers. Marco pulled him towards his bed room. Jean and his mother had a room to themselves and he had slept on the couch when they returned from shopping. Jean was curious what Marco’s bedroom looked like.

Marco’s room was cozy with dark red walls, gold rod iron bed, desk in the corner with a bookshelf full of books. His wall had cork boards of pictures and medals and awards. He had a bean bag chair at the foot of his bed and a large stuffed horse in the corner that a small child could ride. He pulled Jean to the bed, collapsing on the brown and white comforter. Jean snuggled close to him, wrapping his arms around him and kissing him. They kissed slowly for a long time until they heard the closing of doors in the hall. “Jean, I think your mother and my dad like each other.” Jean snorted, “You think?” Marco smiled, “I like your mother.” Jean took his shirt off throwing it on the horse in the corner, “Hopefully not more than you like me.” Marco kissed the area over his heart, “Never.”

Jean and Marco said goodbye to their parents and left for Maria after a large lunch at the Bodt’s favorite German restaurant. Jean called Eren on their way down since they’d have a near four hour drive and Eren would talk enough to kill time. He asked how it went with his father and it went about as expected. He put him on the blue tooth in Marco’s Fiat so he could hear as well.

Mrs. Jaeger was excited to see Mikasa and Eren and greeted them at the door with Levi and Donner standing to the side. She asked if this was Levi and after Eren confirmed she stepped out taking him into her arms and thanking him for watching over her son. She knew he could be a handful. Levi was brought into their home and they showed him to the guest room. That was to be expected. Mr. Jaeger was working that night so it would just be Carla and her kids. 

She asked Levi about himself and Levi was talkative and polite. Eren and Mikasa decided to tell his mother more about the stalking case. They had only briefly explained it to her before coming home. Mr. Jaeger came home early and only heard that Levi and Eren were living together. He became angry, got on his soap box about good Christian morals and what not when Mrs. Jaeger surprised everyone by stating that he shouldn’t throw stones and that led to the end of that, or at least, until lunch the next day where he preceded to ask Levi all manner of sorts of questions about his past and life. Levi played it off during lunch and by the time dinner rolled around Eren was grateful that when Erwin, Armin, and Armin’s Grandfather showed up. 

That was, until Armin’s parents appeared behind them. For two world travelers they sure weren’t the most accepting. Armin’s mother found a kindred spirit in Eren’s father. She stirred up concern that Levi was Jewish and gay and Erwin, while a fine man, was also much older and both appeared to be hardened by their life in the military. Erwin had regressed into a functioning polite generic university recruiter façade in order to be a non-offending as possible where Levi grew increasingly more and more withdrawn and sour. Donner had even taken a dislike to Armin’s parents and would not go near them. This kept on until in the middle of the dinner Mr. Jaeger asked if Levi if he worked at the lab with Eren. Levi told him yes, that he was Eren’s supervisor and Dr. Jaeger started to perk up after finding out that Levi was in the medical school and was an experienced field surgeon. 

It seemed things were getting on the right track and Erwin was even brought into the fold with well placed questions by Armin’s grandfather. It wasn’t until Mrs. Arlert ruined everything with a “it’s such a pity. You’re both so very smart and accomplished yet you still continue to damn yourself. Especially you, Levi, won’t you allow the light of the Lord into your life and come to know Jesus?” Levi’s hands clenched under the table as Eren moved to touch him, “No, I don’t let strange men come in me. That’s not a very good way to get to know someone.” That was his reply before finishing the beer Mrs. Jaeger provided Erwin and the others of age to drink. Mr. Jaeger’s positive strides seemed to regress. He stated that he never understood why an effeminate man simply didn’t find a strong willed or butchy woman and vice versa. Erwin assured him that an attraction to genitalia had nothing to do with personality traits attributed to stereotypes. It seemed that would be what set World War III off until Mrs. Jaeger, exasperated, put her foot down asking her husband how he could be of that opinion when it had been scientifically proven that homosexuality may in fact be a sign of advanced evolution and was natural and occurred in other species than humans and had been prominent in culture and history since the dawning of time. She told him she was rather embarrassed by his lack of education on the subject. Eren was proud of his mother and Mikasa became more relaxed too. Mrs. Jaeger asked why he didn’t freak out when Eren was in school and was dating Jean. His father was aghast, “You dated that Kirschstein boy?! How could you? At least this guys a surgeon. Kirschstein is a hot head like you.” 

All in all, Erwin and Armin returned with the rest of the Arlerts afterwards, agreeing to come back if things got worse. His grandfather promised him that he would handle his parents but he was doubtful it would do any good. Levi and Eren were leaving now but Armin and Erwin were going to leave in another hour or so. They were all going to head to Erwin and Levi’s new house when they got back to Maria if they’d like to come with them. Afterwards they’d all go watch the game since it was away. It was the biggest game or the season. Jean and Marco said they’d thank about it, just give them a call when they got in town. 

After end the phone call Eren sat back in Levi’s car, Donner resting in the back. He looked through Levi’s music finding Lana Del Rey, “You like Lana?” Levi snorted, “I worship Lana. There is a difference. She is a queen.” Eren burst into laughter, “Oh God, this is great. You know I have a Levi playlist, right?” Levi’s brow furrowed, “What does that mean?” Eren switched to his I-pod, pulling up a playlist named Levi, “It’s all the music that makes me think of you. It’s basically a lot of Lana and Hozier. His voice reminds me of yours when you sing in the shower or room and think know one can hear you.” Eren hit play as _Shades of Cool_ came on. “Yessss, this one definitely makes me think of you.” Levi’s eyes widened, “really?” Eren grew serious, “really, you’re just so indescribable but she helps me find words that I can use.”

  
_My baby lives in shades of blue_  
_Blue eyes and jazz and attitude_  
_He lives in California too  
_He drives a Chevy Malibu__

  
_And when he calls_  
_He calls for me and not for you_  
_He lives for love, he loves his drugs  
_He loves his baby too__

Levi was quiet driving down the highway, “I want to talk to you about something serious, Eren.” Eren grew nervous, “What is it? Was this too much? Are you going to break up with me? You are…oh God…” Levi reached over patting Eren’s knee, “No, nothing like that. But, it is about us. Eren, I’m not going to convert. I’m a Jew. This is who I am. I won’t convert if you ask, either. I can’t…I can’t do that.” 

  
_But I can't fix him, can't make him better  
And I can't do nothing about this strange weather_

Eren was relieved, “I’d never ask you and I never want you to do that. Not unless it’s what you want. I…I don’t personally have any attachment to Christianity. I’ve tried to get into it over the course of my life but I haven’t ever felt at home. That’s for another time. I don’t think you’ve said all you want to say so…” 

  
_But you are unfixable_  
_I can't break through your world_  
_'Cause you live in shades of cool  
_Your heart is unbreakable__

  
_My baby lives in shades of cool_  
_Cool heart, and hands and aptitude_  
_He lives for love, for women, too  
_I'm one of many, one is blue__

Levi hadn’t, “When I, or if I ever, have kids I will raise them in Judaism. If that’s going to be a problem then…then I don’t know how we’re going to work. I never want you to change yourself, Eren. This isn’t one of those “he’s a fixer upper” cases, or it better not be. I want you to be you and you let me be me. I’ know I’m difficult to deal with but if that’s something that fundamentally goes against what you believe or feel then you need to tell me. I’ve never felt this serious about anyone before and your parents made it very clear where they stood. Even your mother, as wonderful as she is, pulled me aside and asked if I’d go to church with you. She isn’t worried that I’m gay but she’s worried over my soul and yours because she and your father worry that I’ll corrupt you. I heard them say that before we left.” Eren watched helplessly as Levi started to cry, “I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want you to leave. I-I can’t stand the thought…but I can’t lose myself, not again. Eren…Eren…” Eren clutched his arm, “Pull over, now.” 

  
_And when he calls_  
_He calls for me and not for you_  
_He prays for love, he prays for peace  
_And maybe someone new__

  
_But I can't help him, can't make him better  
And I can't do nothing about his strange weather_

Eren had heard Levi cry in his sleep, heard him through the door, and heard him next to him after a rough night. But, he’d never seen him in the light of day shed tears. Donner was leaning over licking at his face, nuzzling him as Eren took off his seat belt and lifted the center console hugging him closer. He held him through the worst of the sobbing until sliding out, pulling him over and taking his place as the driver. Donner stayed between the seats as Levi stroked his fur and looked out the window. “Levi, one day, will you tell me what happened?” Levi continued to stoke Donner’s chest as Eren drove along the highway, “Yes.” Eren made a turn, “Until then, will you tell me where your accent is from?”

  
_'Cause you are unfixable_  
_I can't break through your world_  
_'Cause you live in shades of cool  
_Your heart is unbreakable__

  
_You're hot, hot, weather in the summer_  
_High, high, neglectful lover_  
_Hot, hot, weather in the summer_  
_High, a bird flew over_  
_You're crumbling, sadly  
_I'm sorry  
_You're gone with me___

Levi looked over, “my accent?” Eren smiled, “Yeah, I only hear it every now and then, mostly when you get upset or really fired up. I really like it.” Levi looked forward, “It’s French. You’re so stupid, Eren. You’re so damn oblivious.” Eren barked a laugh and then feigned hurt, “That’s not nice! You know what they say when you assume.” Levi snorted, feeling a bit better. “I was born in Paris, in the Jewish quarter. My mother and her husband were childless for a number of years, she had a one night stand and I was conceived. Her husband found out but he didn’t want to bring shame upon her because he did love her. We were a part of an orthodox sect with strict beliefs. I went to the Rabbi to learn my letters on my third birthday like the other boys, but was removed before my fourth after my mother’s sin was found out. Her husband died. He left it in a letter to the Rabbi who was bound by duty and labeled me a “mamzer” and thus forbidden. My blood is unclean for six generations.”

  
_You are unfixable_  
_I can't break through your world_  
_'Cause you live in shades of cool  
_Your heart is unbreakable__

He paused, Eren waited, barely breathing. “The Rabbi took pitty and found another match for my mother, a man also disgraced in need of a wife. He lived in America so we were put on a plane and sent here. We were paperless, stateless, and spoke no English. I cried when I got there because from the beginning it was horrible. He was a drunk, never cleaned anything and wouldn’t allow my mother to keep the household like she had in France. In fact, he’d prevent her from cleaning by being physically abusive and then when others would come over for high holidays he’d blame her and shame her publicly. I was forbidden to speak French. I learned English out of terror and the pure need to survive. I tried to phase my accent out as much as possible but my mother wasn’t able to learn like I was and I had to speak in French with her. It was horrible.” Eren was speechless, “Levi…oh my God…” Levi released Donner to sit down, “Yeah, that’s probably enough for today.” They continued on the drive holding hands and listening to various _Shades of Cool_ , one of them was blue.


	13. A House of Words: The Crescendo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin and Levi show off their new house, while secrets about Hanji and Levi's research is revealed.

Erwin, Armin, Levi, and Eren pulled up to the [ plantation house ](http://here4now.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8341d171f53ef01538e65149b970b-pi)just before sunset. It was lit up, Erwin had Hanji and Mike run by on their way home to turn the lights on, and Eren was beyond excited. He’d always passed the house on his way through the back roads of Maria. He was a little surprised that this was the house Levi wanted but once they went inside he could understand. They had already started remodeling the most important rooms so when they entered they were greeted to the sight of a beautiful [ foyer ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/af/47/6e/af476e6acf8da1eab34761938f8d4a06.jpg) with a double stair case, sitting room to the left, kitchen to the right, and towards the back the main living room.

Eren immediately went into the kitchen amazed. Obviously, Levi had insisted on creating this[ kitchen ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/a0/92/9a/a0929a55a852b9a1a2795213657babb0.jpg) from scratch. It was a kosher kitchen with two sinks, ovens, fridges, and it was spotless and functional with a large table in the island for the ultimate family dinners and celebrations. Armin was right behind him when he heard him say, “Erwin…did you really? Is this what I think it is!?” Erwin chuckled, “It is baby. It is.” Eren turned to see a glass [door ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/9b/c3/c4/9bc3c494ffd03c382e71fe1e293dec2d.jpg)in the floor by Armin’s feet. If you opened the door you could walk down a small spiral staircase with rows and rows are wines, rare alcohols, and imported vintages. Armin squealed in delight. “You have Absinth!” Erwin walked over to the opening, “Of course. We serve it Moroccan style.” 

After leaving the kitchen they went to see the [sitting room.](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/7b/d5/3a/7bd53a75695e3f88c8a8522529326f1f.jpg) Erwin had played a large role in the staging of the room but the colors were very reflective of Levi’s kitchen. Both men must have agreed on what the common areas of the house would look like together and well in advance to have this much finished and ordered. They passed a small [ powder room ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/6d/1f/61/6d1f612babdbe2e1cc38647c940bfc96.jpg) that Armin loved with its 1920s tile and clean white aesthetic. The [ main living room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/83/2b/ac/832bac63799d4a0609462ab10deec304.jpg) was glorious with wall to wall windows, two sitting areas with their own TVs and media. It was completely possible to have two separate parties going on side by side. Interested to see the rest of the finished rooms Armin asked to see upstairs if that was ready. Erwin and Levi said they had finished the main rooms they would use but there were still many to be finished at a later time and bathrooms to be renovated. They would show them their personal spaces and a few odd ones they finished easily. They climbed the staircase and entered down a long hall.

Erwin’s [ study ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/c2/1f/4f/c21f4f3ec840caedd9086ef79aee1551.jpg)was on the way and they peeked in. Armin thought it fit him well. They then passed another [ sitting room](%E2%80%9D) that both would use for business meetings. Inside the living room was a door to a full-size [ bathroom](%E2%80%9D) with a glass and iron shower that looked very Bauhaus in Armin’s opinion. Eren felt ecstatic when he found out that the temperature could be controlled.

Erwin’s [room ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/bc/48/4b/bc484bb1ff1535b854ea7349c69fa530.jpg)was amazing. It looked like a safari and astronomy lover’s dream. It had a painted ceiling that reminded Armin of the sky, zebra rug, and a four post bed he could get lost in. The [ closet](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/e2/95/59/e29559020396956a0d381d8cef0e033c.jpg) nearly made Armin faint. It was an entire other room to itself and looked like a department store ready to be stocked. His [ bathroom](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/17/a2/da/17a2da0d33c4f48de17f7ebd9298bfb4.jpg) was spacious and hadn’t been remolded as much. Armin noted the TV in the corner, “You put a TV in your bathroom? Really Erwin…” Erwin moved to pull Armin closer, “I did and I fully expect to be relaxing in that tub watching the trash they put on the history channel these days with you in the bubbly water with me, bitching at me.” Armin sputtered, “I do not bitch. It’s not bitching if you’re right.” Erwin kissed his cheek, “You’re right. You’re voice is a symphony to me. Without you, I would go astray.” Levi made a gagging noise and they left for the hall again.

Eren didn’t know what he’d expected but this was certainly a surprise. They passed Levi’s [study](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/35/05/12/350512d13798c2b9a105b3f57c1f3a10.jpg) which boasted bookshelves, a skull patterned rug, and a small vintage desk with futuristic chair. On the other end it was completely different though, a more professional [ black and white office ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/15/fe/32/15fe32bb90630a63ade4f0b0aedad206.jpg)with another zebra rug like in Erwin’s room and a lager heavy black desk and leather French provincial style chair. Levi’s [room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/4a/3a/32/4a3a32a82df332e6359629e2abc2b1bc.jpg) on the other hand was light and airy, French and timeless. Eren felt like he’d walked into a chateau. Mornings in this room would be like waking up on the French coast and nights by the fire place watching TV, which he had hidden with a picture frame over the fire place, would be romantic and cozy. His [ bathroom ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/02/36/06/023606db9050e1177ca29a4cf38d625d.jpg) looked like a cross between a fancy locker room with its walk in shower and luxury resort. Eren couldn’t wait to submerge himself in that tub, if Levi let him, that is. His [closet ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/d1/df/14/d1df14196a2c6bb0b1c014c31fbb178d.jpg)made Armin drool even more and Eren couldn’t help but picture it in some boutique in Paris. They couldn’t wait to see the other rooms that were done.

Next to Levi’s room was a small [room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/0d/57/8f/0d578fd204cbf551224cefed071505ae.jpg) that was converted into a child’s room. Eren looked around it feeling a sense of warmth in his body, “Whose room is this?” Erwin shrugged as Levi crossed his arms, “It was a small room and Levi suggested we make it a kid’s room. A bit pre-emptive but it was a good idea.” Armin nodded taking Erwin’s hand and pulling him out of the room. “Did you make anymore for kids?” he questioned as Eren and Levi followed, “Mmmm there are some in the works but we don’t have a need for that, just a lot of foresight.” Armin nuzzled close to Erwin as he showed them another [ guest room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/f0/ef/07/f0ef072fd8a4f12f874fe9bf0dd186d4.jpg),[it’s bathroom](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/fc/7d/0a/fc7d0a713a149b73fe4578ba1797f534.jpg), [then another guest room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/c5/fe/5f/c5fe5f0799164e2bd80e3d2498fa595e.jpg), [ it’s personal bathroom](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/a4/4b/3a/a44b3a6c7f6e30e2d5327bcefe4d91be.jpg), and a [home theater](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/83/0b/12/830b1201aa33155c37f70e8739113eb0.jpg) that Erwin suggested they all watch the game in today. Needless to say, what was left to do in the house paled in comparison to what was done. Eren and Armin thanked their lucky stars they were dating two established men with great tastes. 

Jean and Marco showed up to watch the game, remarking at the house. Hanji and Mike soon followed, though Hanji wasn’t looking like their normal self. “Eren, I need to ask you something.” Eren walked with them to the sitting room, “yeah? Is everything alright?” Hanji wrung their hands, “No…maybe. Did you take anything from the lab? I’m not mad if you did, I’d actually be really relieved.” Eren’s eyes narrowed, “No, Hanji, I didn’t. Everything needs to stay either in the incubators or under the vent.” Hanji’s face was grim, “All of your work is gone, Eren. It’s all gone. What we’ve been working on…things are missing and numbers are skewed.” Eren took the information in stride. There was no time to grieve, “Have you told Levi?”

”Told me what?” Levi appeared with bottle of Becks behind Eren as Hanji prepared themselves to deliver the news, “It’s all gone. Everything Eren has worked on. All of the progress we made. What is left if useless because the numbers have been skewed. I don’t know what levels to start back at and Sunny and Bean need to rest.” Levi frowned, “You think?” He looked over at Armin. “Yeah, he was right. He was pre-med. Came in with a lot of potential with pathology. But, he had a thing for corpses that got him kicked out of his previous nursing program if you catch my drift.” Eren felt sick. “Oh my God.”

Levi pulled Eren close, “Have you mentioned anything about our research to Armin?”Eren shook his head, “No. But it’s killing me.” Levi rubbed his back. “Do you think it’s time?” Hanji shook their head, “No. Not yet. I’m sorry. We just need to let Erwin say what he feels comfortable saying and if he gives Armin more information it’ll be at the right time. I trust him.” Eren took the beer out of Levi’s hands. “This is now mine.” Levi snorted, “Brat.”

The game wasn’t a nail biter. It was sad. The Scouts lost to the Titans as they often did. It didn’t matter how well they did during the season, the Titan’s just always had the deck stacked against them. It was in their territory in Sina and home field advantage was a real thing when it came to SEC football. Jean and Marco told everyone about their Thanksgiving and Eren was glad to know it went better than his. Armin and Erwin hadn’t been their usual selves and he worried that after whatever torture Erwin was subjected to after the dinner would maybe be too much and chase him off. Honestly, Armin couldn’t be held accountable for his parent’s actions. 

Afterwards they all decided to go get food and head back to the dorm. Jean asked if they’d be moving into the house full time soon but Erwin and Levi said they still had to finish their contracts as RAs and therefore, couldn’t move in fully until the end of the school year in May. They went to _Full Moon _for BBQ and then the dorm to unload their things. Everyone was thankful that Sunday was tomorrow and all of their work was finished for Monday.__

Armin knew Erwin was dealing with everything that had happened the last few days. He was on edge, waiting for Erwin to take him aside and tell him he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t deal with that level of dysfunction. They had arrived at his house happy and excited when his grandfather threw the doors open embracing both of them and bringing them in to tea. Erwin and opa Arlert had hit it off immediately talking about their travels and opa Arlert’s obsession with the great Khan of Khans. Everything was picture perfect that night as he went to bed early leaving Erwin and Armin alone to watch a history special on Netflix and make out slowly on the couch. 

The next morning they were both awoke to the front door being forced open by someone who sounded like they rarely used the key in the lock. Erwin must have been startled because he grabbed Armin who was sleeping on top of him on the couch choking him. Armin grabbed his hands knowing he was still partially asleep so he insistently in a low but serious voice said “Erwin, Erwin, it’s me, it’s Armin, daddy, daddy please you gotta wake up. Wake up, please.” Erwin let go allowing Armin to slide off and pull him down the hall. He took him to his room and closed the door quietly. “I think…I think that my parents came home.” Armin started taking his clothes off while Erwin just sat on his bed. 

”Erwin are you okay?” Armin was worried, “Yeah, I’m fine. Tired.” Armin walked over to him, “My father is a journalist now for this Creationist magazine or something and my mother’s a missionary. Remember? I told you they travel all the time and they’re super religious still. I know they’re going to have an issue with you because you are gay. I endured it all through high school and it’s a lot of religious guilt. I am so sorry, Erwin. I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you to come if they were going to be here.” Erwin took Armin’s hands in his own. “No, no. It’s fine. I can handle it. I promise.” He smiled but it was forced. “You wanna take a shower?” Erwin nodded and they both took turns in Armin’s small bathroom until Armin’s opa knocked, “Armin, it’s me.”

Armin opened the door as his grandfather slipped in, “I want to tell you I had no idea they were coming. In fact, they claim they had this planned all along to surprise you but I think that’s some scheiß.” Erwin laughed, albeit a bit strained, “Is my being here going to be a problem? I can leave if that would be better.” Armin pouted, “If you go, I’ll go. We’ll eat at Waffle House and be better off for it.” Armin’s opa grinned, “True, I love those cheap waffles.” Just then Armin’s mother called for him to come say hello.

Armin entered hand in hand with Erwin, “Mom, dad, this is my boyfriend Erwin, he’ll be staying for Thanksgiving.” His mother and father exchanged pained glances. “Oh, Armin…how improper.” was her mumbled response that set the tone for hours of uncomfortable conversation. After the disaster that was the Jaeger’s dinner Erwin and Armin barricaded themselves in opa Arlert’s study until bed time. Erwin and Armin’s grandfather had started drinking and he knew they’d fall asleep pretty easily when they finally lay down. All night Erwin tossed and turned. He mumbled angrily under his breath. It was all things that Armin had come to experience over the nights he’d slept next to him in the apartment. Commander, their rescue kitten that had been staying with Mikasa and Annie until they had finally settled down in the apartment, would curl up on the desk next to him until Armin went to back to sleep. That was why he’d been in such a bad mood lately, he wasn’t sleeping because he was worried about Erwin. 

This night was by far the worse one yet. He yelled out a few times making Armin worry his parents would come and find them in bed together and make an already tense situation worse. He had told his opa about it and he knew he would understand the difference between a real yell and one born of nightmares. He continued to thrash until Armin sat up, perhaps a bit too quickly and the next thing he knew he was on his back pinned to the bed, knee between his legs, and all of Erwin’s weight and pressure on him and his wrists. He released an involuntary choking noise he immediately regretted when Erwin’s face contorted in understanding. He released Armin, who merely laid there relieved that no sound had been made loud enough wake anyone from their sleep. He patted Erwin, who was still above him, telling him to lay back down and go to sleep.

The next day they woke up, got dressed and packed up. They sat down to a large German breakfast with opa Arlert and Erwin seemed to still be off but Armin couldn’t blame him. His parents walked into the kitchen asking about what Armin had been up to. They seemed completely unaware he was even in school and criticized his choice of major and lifestyle. They made digs here and there but mostly they were their usual “we love you because we made you and you are a gift from God but let’s talk about what we’re doing to further the righteous cause” selves. When they brought up having him come back for Christmas and maybe them going on a trip together, Erwin stood up announcing that they needed to go and Armin already had Christmas plans. Opa Arlert seemed pleased at the stuttering of his daughter and son-in-law as Erwin pulled Armin up, gave opa Arlert a huge hug with a kiss on the cheek, and kissed Armin lovingly on the lips before waving goodbye and pulling him out to the car he had already packed up. 

The drive back down was very quiet. He made little comments here and there about things they passed but Armin felt like if he was in the mood to talk he’d tell him. Erwin was on autopilot till he got a phone call from Hanji. His already lethargic mood turned morose after they gave him whatever information they needed to give him. Armin twiddled with the edges of his book, their last one for the book club till after Christmas break. “Is everything okay?” He prompted as Erwin hung up. “He was pre-med.” Armin’s eyes widened, “Oh.”

Erwin cleared his throat, “Armin, what makes a good soldier?” Armin noticed Erwin’s knuckles turn white on the steering wheel. “Loyalty?” Erwin’s eyes narrowed, “anything else?” Armin took a moment to think about it. Loyalty is important because it allows one to ultimately continue on the path before them without going off at a crucial moment. It lends itself to devotion, devotion contributes to ideals. When you truly believe something, you give your all, you sacrifice everything and anything to help your cause. “Sacrifice.”

”What if you could make sure that your soldiers were loyal and would be willing to sacrifice anything for you?” Armin didn’t have to hesitate, “I’d probably welcome that assurance.” Erwin made a turn onto a side road, “What if you had the added insurance that even if wounded they’d continue on?” Armin’s brow furrowed, “Most would continue even wounded but there are wounds that render one useless.” Erwin’s eyes closed briefly, “What if they could heal no matter how bad the wound, sometimes in a matter of minutes, head injuries, near decapitation, entire limbs re-grown in an hour?” Armin felt sick.

This can’t be real life. “Erwin don’t tell me this is some sort of fucked up shit like unit 731? Are we talking real life zombie like states of disassociation, an attempt at some sort of immortality, or worse?” Erwin tapped the steering wheel, “We think that the group controlling things is working to create a type of serum that will make soldiers almost like mindless blood thirsty killing machines with one or two well defined goals in mind and the ability to heal from just about anything.” Armin could feel himself want to retch. “The scientists that would go missing…” Erwin nodded, “We’re injected and then wounded to see how well they healed and probably how long it took. Many have never come back and those who do don’t remember. It could be a sign of the serum.” Armin interrupted, “Or repression of trauma.” 

Armin reached over to touch Erwin’s arm, his voice a whisper, “Do you ever think…Have you ever thought how…how lucky Jeeter is?” Erwin was perplexed, “What do you mean?” Armin inhaled, “He gets matched to a boy who he finds dreamy enough to become obsessed with, that boy randomly matched with his friends, one of those friends ends up dating the man trying to take down the group that has paid him and given him the means to stalk to his heart’s content, and we’re all under the same roof making it even easier for him to stalk us because he can just camp out in one spot. I mean, who the fuck gets that lucky? I know he could have been placed in your dorm to be near you but the rest is just pure luck. Do you think he plays the lotto?” Armin asked genuinely looking at Erwin.

Erwin’s face was white, “Levi…”Armin clutched his arm, “What about Levi, Erwin?” His voice shook but he managed, “His research. They probably put him in our dorm to focus on Levi since he was the one who originally created a type of blood clot serum that could slow blood flow and increase clotting at the wound. He wanted to make it a part of field kits. Hanji was working with her rabbits when she asked if they could use it on them while they worked on them for her virology study. They’ve been working on it since my father was president but what luck, Levi comes with basically a premade serum already that would be perfect for them to hijack for their own goal.” 

They were almost to the house by this point in the conversation. Armin was trying to put everything together. He wanted to figure out how this was going to play out. Erwin slowed the car down anticipating the turn. “Armin, when we get back to the dorm” he turned onto the driveway, “I need to talk to you.”Armin stroked his arm, “Is everything okay?” Erwin seemed so distant. “No. I just…don’t worry about it till then, okay?” Armin tried to smile, “I’ll try.” They got out of the car waiting on Levi and Eren with pits in their stomach and words left unsaid.


	14. Ho, Ho, Ho Prt I: End of Crescendo, Beginning of Climax

When Armin and Erwin got back to the apartment, Mikasa had already brought Commander back from Annie’s house and he was sitting on the couch waiting for his unlikely best friend, Donner, to come bursting through the door. Once everyone came in and settled down, Donner and Commander sat together curled up next to one another causing Eren to coo his approval, taking a million Instagram pictures while Levi cleaned the apartment. Erwin pulled Armin back to his room, shutting the door behind him. He put their things to the side before sitting on the bed, his head in his hands. 

”Armin, I want to tell you something.” Armin walked over to Erwin crouching down, “What’s wrong? You’re really upsetting me.” Erwin started to shake, sobs threatened to let themselves lose from his throat. When he did speak it was broken, choked, “I hurt you.” Erwin started to fully sob, “I choked you, pinned you down, and hurt you.” Armin moved between his legs trying to get his hands to open and expose his face. “No, nooooo, you didn’t hurt me. You didn’t even mean to do it!” Erwin took Armin’s hands, holding them up, “look at your wrists!” 

Armin could see the beginnings of bruises, “Erwin, you did not mean to do it. You were asleep.” Erwin continued to cry, “Baby, I’ve been doing it for weeks. I’m keeping you up aren’t I?” Armin held his ground, “Erwin, you can’t control what you do in your sleep. Yes, you’ve mistaken me for whatever it is you thought was there and yes, you bruised my wrists but that doesn’t make you a horrible person. You’re dealing with PTSD. It’s life. This is how it is and you warned me from the beginning. If I wasn’t invested in this I wouldn’t have stayed. I love you, Erwin. I love you and that’s all I need to know. I’m staying as long as you’ll have me.” Armin cupped Erwin’s face, “I love you. Please, don’t do this to yourself.”

There was a knock on the door; it opened revealing Levi in the doorframe, “What happened?” His voice was still stern, but a slight tremble betrayed how concerned he really was. “I hurt Armin. I’ve been hurting him in my sleep for weeks.” Erwin wailed as he rubbed his hands through his hair. Levi moved forward, “That’s what I thought I heard. I just wanted to check if I heard right.” Eren came to the door, “Armin are you okay?” Armin nodded; afraid that Eren would make Erwin feel worse if he defended himself. “I’m fine, Eren. I swear this isn’t a big deal.” Levi looked at Armin, “It is to us. How do you think it feels to care about someone so much all you want is to protect them, it’s even ingrained in you to protect them, and then you find out your actually the most threatening thing to them?” Eren stepped forward cutting in between Levi’s glare and Armin’s clenched fists, “Let Levi talk with Erwin. Come in here with me.” 

Eren and Armin went into the small living room. Jean and Marco’s door was open. Eren thought it best to keep this between themselves so he went to close their door. They seemed to understand as they cuddled on the bed. Eren’s voice was low, like he was making a confession, “Levi does it, too. We talk about it sometimes when it happens. I think Erwin is even worse about talking about it since he’s so used to being the positive leader type that protects everyone.” Armin snorted with a disdainful look on his face, “And Levi is more okay with it because he’s the brooding tragic renegade type?” Eren smiled slightly, “Yeah. It has a lot to do with personality.” Armin wrapped himself in a blanket, “What’s the worst he’s done?” 

Eren cringed picking at the skin around his nails, “pulled a knife on me.” Armin’s eyes widened, “what?” Eren curled up on the other end of the couch, “Yeah, he was really upset one night so I tried to wake him up, which was stupid because he told me not to do that. The next thing I know I’m on my back, blade against my throat and he’s put such force down on one of my pressure points I was paralyzed, terrified, and started crying. That was the week I spent on the couch, remember? He was so upset I told him if it would make him feel better I’d sleep somewhere else.”  
Armin laid his head on the back of the couch, “Erwin’s choked me, punched me in the ribs, he thrashes around, reaches for something.”  
”It’s his gun.”  
”How do you know?”  
”Levi does it. He prefers to use a knife but keeps his gun in bottom drawer of the nightstand. Erwin keeps it in his underwear drawer.”  
Guns made Armin a bit nervous, “Because of me?”  
”Yeah, he knows that make you uneasy so he moved his. He contemplated putting it in Levi’s room or just leaving it in his car like normal.”  
”Oh, Erwin…”  
”Does he hold you close, trap you and not let you move?”  
Armin shook his head no,”Does Levi?”  
”Yeah, he literally cages me in his arms and if I try to get up to go to the bathroom or just leave for class he hold tighter and growls.”  
Armin sighed, he understood. ”Erwin likes me to leave a note if I leave before he wakes up.” Armin tried to hear if Erwin was still upset in the other room but they were being too quiet.

Both boys sat on the couch watching the TV and comparing the habits of their lovers until they joined them. Levi looked at Eren motioning to him to scoot over as Erwin took a seat in the recliner, his face tired and swollen from crying. “I’m sorry I got so upset, Armin.” Armin turned to Erwin, “Its fine, I understand completely. I just don’t want you to think I’m naïve or unaware of what’s going on. I fully accepted that this is what it would be like being with you.” Erwin looked at him like he was an innocent child he had to tell bitter truths to, “But, Armin, it could get worse. I have to think about what life would be like for you if you didn’t have to deal with a boyfriend who has all of this baggage.” Armin laughed, frustrated, “You let me decide what’s too much. I’m not going anywhere. Unless…” Erwin grew worried, “Unless what?” Armin smiled playfully, “Unless you cheat. Then I’ll be what your nightmares are made of.” Eren cackled, “That is so true.” 

Erwin attempted to smile, “I would never.” Levi placed his arm around Eren’s shoulders, “Let’s talk about Christmas plans. Two-tone and Mario, get out here!” Once everyone was in the living room Erwin and Levi asked what they were thinking about doing for Christmas. Levi would be celebrating Hanukah, of course, but his birthday was December 25th. Normally, both men would spend the day together since neither had any family to visit. That made Eren and Armin incredibly sad. Eren had held out hope that Levi’s mother was perhaps still alive or maybe there was someone else he was close to but it would seem that was not the case. Erwin and Levi would be at their house for break if any would like to stay with them and not return home for the entire month they had off. 

Marco and Jean had considered spending Christmas apart, going home to their parents separately, but they didn’t really want to. Marco sent his dad a text and was surprised to find out that Jean’s mother and his father had decided to spend Christmas together and if they would like, they could come down and spend mass at Maria’s Catholic Church with them. Marco looked over to Jean. When Jean seemed perplexed by Marco’s face he slid the phone to him letting him read the conversation. “Are you fucking serious?” Jean exclaimed passing the phone back to a giggling Marco, “Oh God, we could become legally brothers one day if they keep moving this fast. Yuck.” Jean shuddered, “That’s some shit, Marco. I’m going to tell mom she can’t marry your dad. I can’t marry my brother and they’re almost moving in together from the sounds of it.” 

Eren got off the couch coming over to Marco and Jean, “What’s on the phone? Who’s getting married? I wanna see.” Jean pushed Eren back, “Get away Jaeger it’s none of your business.” Eren and Jean started wrestling, “Is your mom with Marco’s dad now? Are you dating your future stepbrother? That’s so you, Jean. That’s so you.” Jean and Eren struggled onto the floor, “Shut up! You liked your adopted sister!” Eren’s face flushed, “I thought she WAS PRETTY, JEAN. AESTHETICALLY PLEASING TO MINE EYE! THERE IS A DIFFERENCE, HORSE FACE!” The two continued to bitch and wrestle as Levi opened another beer and Armin moved to sit in Erwin’s lap, affirming that Eren did at one time have a small crush on Mikasa. Jean proclaimed himself the winner as everyone settled back in.

Erwin turned to Armin, “What about you?” Armin remembered that Erwin had told his family he’d not be coming home, “Um well you told my family I wasn’t coming home so I guess that means I’ll be here,” he smiled wickedly, “with you.” Erwin chuckled as Levi perked up, “Sounds like something you’d say when you were mad.” His eyebrow rose, challenging Erwin, “Yes, I suppose I did say that when I was angry, because it seemed like your parents had no idea what was going on in your life and I just thought, well, that they wouldn’t care if you stayed with your rich sugar daddy in sin for a month and miss out on the Lord’s birthday. “Armin lost it, “They were more upset about it than you think, I can promise you. But, I didn’t know you were my sugar daddy.” Eren started laughing as Erwin blushed and Armin continued to tease. Levi cut his eyes over to him, “Why you laughin’ brat, I’m basically yours. You even work for me. It’s the very definition of sleeping your way to the top.” Eren stopped laughing as Jean and Marco joined in enjoying his pained reaction, “Hey! I had no idea you were rich when I met you, neither did I know you worked at the lab. If anything, you’ve cornered me into being your sugar baby by making it impossible for me to be anything else.” Eren smiled triumphantly as Levi’s cool gaze pinned him down where he sat, “touché.”

When Erwin and Armin went to bed that night Armin could tell he was still hesitant to fall asleep. He turned away from Armin facing the wall his bed was against. Sleeping in such a small bed left Armin no other choice than to press himself against Erwin, who was more half the width of the mattress itself. Erwin’s coolness put him off. He needed to do something. Armin pulled up Erwin’s shirt, kissing his back as he lifted till Erwin took it off completely. He continued to leave open mouth tender kisses on his warm skin pressing closer and closer against him.

He let his hand rub soothing circles over the top of Erwin’s exposed hipbone as his breath hitched and became irregular. He just wanted Erwin to relax, feel nice, and maybe get some restful sleep tonight. He grinded against him before letting his hand trail further down, palming him through the fabric of his sleeper pants. Erwin moaned lowly, needy, when he felt Armin’s hand touching him. He pressed into it, craving friction. He secretly enjoyed Armin taking control.

Armin rubbed, applying consistent pressure as Erwin continued to writhe against him. Precome soaked through his pants, the wetness hinted that it was time to pull his pants down and work his length freely. He worked the pants down with his hand, leaving Erwin whimpering from the lack of stimulation. Once his cock was freed, Armin went to stroking it in a leisurely manner. He slid his thumb over the slit, relishing the effect it had on Erwin. He shook from pleasure, hummed his satisfaction when Armin picked up the pace a bit, and moaned as Armin prevented him from coming by squeezing the base of his cock.

Armin tortured Erwin on and off for an hour till Erwin was completely wanton and begging. Armin decided it was time to let him come, picking up the pace and not stopping when Erwin’s started approaching his release. Erwin was on the edge; Armin twisted his wrist, pulling strongly as Erwin came all over his hand. A little got on the wall but Armin would clean that later. He continued to stoke him through his orgasm leaving kisses and hickys all along his shoulder blade. Erwin came down, exhausted and satisfied. 

Armin got off the bed finding a washcloth to clean off the wall and Erwin. He cleaned him off, tucked him back in and rolled him over to face him. Armin crawled back into bed into Erwin’s arms. He kissed him chastely before snuggling back down, his head beneath Erwin’s chin. “Sweet dreams, daddy.” Erwin held him closer, “I love you, too, Armin. I didn’t say it back before, but I need you to know. I love you too.” Armin kissed his throat, “Good.”

Finals had everyone fretting. Armin had tried unsuccessfully to glean information from Erwin about their World History class and much to Levi and Eren’s amusement had turned studying into a type of war where sex was a weapon and Erwin was often caught off guard by sneak attacks and false acts of kindness. Levi told Eren he’d never seen Erwin happier nor with anyone that fit him so well. Eren felt the same way about Armin.

Eren’s school work was coming along nicely and that was good because true to their word, Hanji managed to get Eren a personal interview for this coming semester. If he made it that mean’s he would be able to shave an entire year off of his schooling, possibly more with the credits he was getting working with Hanji and Levi. Levi had surprised him by taking him to the dog park with Donner. Eren knew most would have not seen that as a celebratory outing but Levi knew Eren would rather spend a day running around with animals than a fancy dinner for something that hadn’t even happened yet. Now, if he got in, that would be a different story. Eren really hoped he would get in.

Marco had a few pieces published by the Maria Plainsman, Maria Times, Maria Weekly, and a poem in the Circle that Jean was sent a link to by Armin. Jean had never been more embarrassed and pleased by anything in his life. Marco dedicated it to him, stating that he was his muse. If only he knew about the countless paintings that Marco was the star of. Jean turned in his series of paintings for his Art Education class after a very confusing critique. His teachers mumbled odd comments here and there about similarities to other work. Jean hadn’t invented the idea of self portrait but he also hadn’t seen his interpretation anywhere before. While waiting outside for his final meeting with the council till next semester he grew more and more worried about their demeanors while judging his work. Once inside the office he was given a B overall. Jean was surprised at the grade; his face must have reflected it because the main teacher gave a brief yet pointed speech about raw talent and not letting yourself be influenced by those around you. 

Jean found out later that they had viewed another student’s work before his that was similar. Therefore, they gave both a passing grade but not an A. They worried that they had simply been influenced by one another and there was no clear original of the two. Who else had done a series like he had? He didn’t have time to deal with that because a B was acceptable, if not a bit disappointing and a blow to his ego.

Finals week officially ended on the first day of Hanukah, December 6th. Levi woke up in his bed, thanked the Creator for returning his soul to his body as he did every morning, and washed his hands as was his usual routine before taking a moment to look at Eren. Eren was on stomach, drooling on one of the expensive throw pillows that weren’t meant for sleeping on and Levi couldn’t help but smile. He climbed back on the bed softly, tracing a line from the base of Eren’s spine up to neck. He ghosted his fingers over the fine features of his face, stroking his lips as Eren’s eyes fluttered open. He swooped in, kissing him softly, their breath mingling. Eren closed his eyes again. His voice was warm and sincere, “Chag Urim Sameach, Levi.” Levi’s heart felt like it would burst.

Erwin and Armin had spent the night in his room, the large bed welcome after so many nights on the tiny twin size bed. Erwin woke up, wiping the sleep from his eyes. He felt alone and slightly panicked. Trying not to overreact he rolled over onto his side seeing Armin curled into a tight ball surrounded by most of the comforter and pillows. He reached out rubbing Armin’s back making him uncurl, “Mmmm?” Erwin stoked the hair out of his face when he rolled his head over, “Why are you all the way over there?” Armin wrinkled his nose, yawning, “I was hot.” Erwin smiled, “Is that why you have all the cover?” Armin smirked, “’s mine. Don’t be greedy, daddy.” Erwin moved grabbing Armin pulling him into his arms, “I can’t help but be greedy, baby.” He kissed the top of Armin’s head, rubbing his arms and wrapping himself around Armin like a cocoon. Armin hummed in approval, “You slept good last night, daddy. Didn’t make a sound, nothin’.”

Erwin was surprised, “I didn’t?” Armin turned around in his arms, “Nope. Not a peep.” Erwin looked around the room, Armin’s bag in the corner, their books on the nightstand; he was wearing a large baby pink Tshirt, black briefs, and black fuzzy socks. Every day with Armin was something new. He came off at first glance as such a sweet cinnamon bun but he could be downright lethal when he needed to be or, as Erwin had come to notice, wanted to be. He enjoyed the verbal sparring between them, the long discussions and debates; he also enjoyed how sweet Armin was to him, how he went out of his way to get things that Erwin would like, and how he let Erwin take care of him. He treated Armin like a delicate flower, a jewel to be treasured. He was sure that anyone else would take offense at some of his behavior. They might actually think he saw them as weaker or less masculine. Not Armin, he trusted him to speak up if he ever felt like Erwin saw him like that. Until then, he’d continue to let Erwin spoil him rotten.

Erwin grew hungry laying there. Armin had fallen back asleep but he knew that he’d not stay asleep if he left him. Scooping Armin up in his arms and grabbing a throw blanket, he made his way down towards Levi’s room to check on him. He could hear someone moving near the door and when it opened Levi was standing there, clad in only a pair of grey sweatpants with a shirt in his pocket. Levi looked at Armin, nicking his head into his room. Erwin understood walking inside and placing Armin with Eren in the bed. Levi had started a fire in the fireplace and the room was nice and warm. Both men went down to the kitchen to start breakfast, their first morning in their home. 

The next few days went by well, lighting candles, playing games, and eating great food. Mike and Hanji stopped by often, even if Levi and Hanji did disappear into his office most of the time. Mike was telling Erwin all about his thesis and asking if he’d like him to go with him to pick out some horses. Erwin told him that he would but it’d have to wait till the summer to actually bring them over since the barn needed to be repaired. Eren was excited about the possible addition of horses and was already working on Levi about a pig or two, much to Hanji’s glee and Levi’s horror. “Pigs, pigs eat people, Eren. They are unclean.” Eren pouted, “But the tiny piglets! Haven’t you seen those! I send you pictures of them all the time and they live in the house and wear clothes!” Levi steeled himself against the beautiful pleading viridian eyes, “Their flesh tastes the closest to our own. If we cooked one of them and then you we’d barely be able to tell the difference. No. We’re not getting any.” Hanji cackled, doubling over, “But, Levi! You could clean their sties to your heart’s content. Not to mention, how can you say no to him? Especially, since you two are a “we” now.” Levi flushed slightly, “Shut up, shitty glasses. Nobody has time for you.” 

Erwin approached Armin playing a game of chess with Marco over by one of the window. Marco and Armin got along well; it didn’t surprise Erwin to see that his little genius had picked a fair opponent. “Do you own a tux, Armin?” Armin moved a pawn before asking for a break. “No, I don’t. Why?” Erwin sat down, glass of scotch in hand as Eren spun the dreidel “Nun! It landed on Nun! What do I get?” Levi’s lips quirked at the edges, his eyes gleamed with emotion that Erwin hadn’t seen in so long, “You get some **gelt** , brat. Like the other nights.” Eren gave a resounding cheer before Levi handed him a few chocolate coins. “Hey Levi,” Eren said munching away, mouth full of chocolate, “Yes, Eren?” Eren swallowed, “I thought some people gave gifts?” Levi shrugged, “Some do. It’s so close to Christmas that often people will give gifts to their younger kids so they don’t feel left out of the Christian holiday that’s shoved down their throats.” Eren smiled, “Oh well, I got you a gift.”

Erwin turned back to Armin, “Petra’s wedding is December 31st. I hope you don’t mind but I put you down as my plus one.” Armin smiled, “Why would I mind?” Erwin shrugged, “Well, we’d only been seeing each other for about two weeks.” Marco laughed, “Wow that’s gutsy.” Erwin winked, smug “I know, right?” Erwin and Marco high-fived as Armin rolled his eyes, “is Eren going with Levi?” Erwin made a face that said “I don’t know”, “I think so, but I’m not sure. Best let me ask Levi before you mention anything. I doubt he’d not ask him.” 

Eren had disappeared upstairs while desert was pulled out and cooled. He appeared with a small box covered in gold leafing with red underneath. The bow on top was elaborate and gold as well. Levi took the small box, sliding the bow off carefully not to crumple it. When he opened the box he removed the red tissue paper finding another smaller amount in gold wrapped around something. He held the papered thing up as Eren petted Commander who had jumped on the ledge of the table in the island while Donner watched from the side. “Are you going to open it?” Levi started to unwrap the paper, revealing an ornate [mezuzah](http://www.judaicawebstore.com/Assets/NewProductImages/Medium/Limited-Edition-Marc-Chagall-Mezuzah-12-Tribes-Hadassah-Windows-Levi_medium.jpg) that had the seal of the tribe of Levi on it. It came with a kosher scroll for blessing the house and the tribe’s depiction was from the famous Marc Chagall’s twelve stain glass windows. There were only a limited number of these mezuzahs available and Levi had come across an ad for them in a Jewish magazine in his Rabbi’s office. This must have cost Eren and fortune.

Eren waited anxiously for Levi to respond. Levi held the mezuzah in his hands gawking. “You didn’t have one for the front door. I thought maybe you might have one for your room but when I saw that you really didn’t have one I decided to get it for you for Hanukah. I know it’s not the most important holiday, since it’s not even in the Torah but it’s so close to Christmas and I’m in the gift getting habit this time of year.” Levi continued to stand motionless. _How the fuck does he know all of that. How did he notice that? I can’t believe I forgot one for the house. Oh….Eren….I love you/_. Erwin appeared, “Oh, Eren, this is such a nice gift. I can’t believe Levi didn’t have one already on the door.” He smiled patting Levi on the back, “Kid, this is…I don’t have the words. Thank you isn’t enough.” Eren leaned forward bringing Levi into a bear hug, “That’s great! I’m glad you liked it. Armin helped me track it down.” Armin sprung out of his seat making his way over quickly, “I only found where we could physically pick it up and inspect it. Eren did all the work. I truly cannot take credit for anything.” Levi smiled shyly, placing it in the box. He would need to buy nails for it. “Can we put it up now?” Eren asked excitedly. “No, let’s do it on New Years together. I need to buy nails for it.” Levi placed the box on the counter moving to cup Eren’s face in his hands, “Thank you.” He kissed Eren sweetly. When he pulled back Eren smiled the same lazy morning smile he gave him every day he woke up next to him before saying, “Toda.” Levi’s heart would never recover.

Christmas was upon them in just a few short weeks. Eren and Levi had fallen into a comfortable routine: wake up, go for a run, breakfast, shower, head to the lab, lunch, back to the lab, home, dinner, relax. On Wednesdays Eren would leave lab early to go to Montgomery for something for his father that he wasn’t too clear on the details with Levi with. He also started lighting the Shabbat candles with Levi on Fridays and Armin and Erwin joined them for a Shabbat dinner. Erwin told Eren that he knows Levi didn’t let it on, but he was thrilled that it wasn’t just him silently observing with Levi anymore. Armin asked questions and Levi seemed uncharacteristically talkative about any topic Armin threw at him. 

Jean and Marco had been shopping and decorating with Erwin and Levi’s permission. Levi said he saw no reason in not getting a tree, he wasn’t going to cry over seeing Christmas decorations. Marco called it Levi’s birthday tree giving everyone a good laugh. Erwin and Levi went off a few times alone leading up to the day. Armin thought they were just doing some last minute shopping. He did see this as an opportunity to corner Eren and talk about his research.

He found Eren in Levi’s study on the rug reading about large animal anatomy. “Eren, can we talk?” Eren looked up from his book, “Yeah, wanna talk somewhere comfy?” Armin nodded watching Eren in his comfortable[sweatpants](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/8d/c1/23/8dc12330cf4d47eb85d4d495df22df82.jpg) and black hoodie spring from the floor putting the book back on the desk and leading them to Levi’s room. They climbed in the bed, Armin took off his house shoes before climbing in. He looked adorable today in his oversized whale[sweater ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/5b/d8/ce/5bd8ce90608bf6b96b4c1e3a8c2ffb67.jpg) he bought at a thrift store with Erwin a few weeks ago. His navy tights were soft and insulated against the cold. Eren turned the TV on, falling in between the pillows. “You want to ask me about the research.” He stated with ease, they’d known each other far too long. Armin nodded, “Tell me if I’m wrong, but the serum you are using is Levi’s. It’s his creation that he ultimately hoped to use to increase blood clotting around wounds, thereby slowing the amount of blood lost in situations where getting to hospital on time wasn’t possible, and it bonded with and mutated the virus that was the focus of Hanji’s research.” Eren hummed, “Yep.” Armin continued, “And because that virus has the ability to become a hot virus, jump from species to species, it now is the target of the group that recruited Jeeter.” Eren rubbed his eye, sighing, “Yep.” 

”Okay, so what we think is that Sunny and Bean were injected with the serum that has been injected into the other scientists. That’s why they act so strange. They act like they’re drunk but a little more violent. They had, we believe unbeknownst to the people who injected them, already in their system a virus that was rapidly mutating and is an enigma to us. We have no idea what the original virus was and we keep trying to figure it out but Sunny and Bean are our only test subjects and we can’t gain, nor risk, anything by infecting other rabbits because they would get the mutated and dangerous form of the virus now.” Eren laughed bitterly, “I try to build a time machine for Levi every day, it’s a joke, but it’s also not because we really need one to figure this out. Moreover, the rabbits display an increased ability to “self heal” and we know that’s a product of Levi’s serum after looking at blood samples. They still scar but not as bad. We don’t know what’s going on with that.”

Armin thought about what he was hearing, “And someone has done something?” Eren looked nervous, “Someone messed with out information and we’re worried they’re going to mess with Sunny and Bean so Hanji has them under surveillance 24/7. They wanted to bring them home but it’s too dangerous. The data was what was the most useful and now it’s gone.” Eren seemed deflated, “I’ve done my best to remember and write down what I could for Levi. He says I’ve done more than enough but the break-in happened on my time in the lab. I don’t understand how, though. I have no memory of anyone coming in out of the ordinary and I don’t want to point the finger at someone and them be innocent.” Armin laid down covering himself with the duvet, he heard what sounded like muffled footsteps coming down the hall, Erwin most likely, “If only we could catch Jeeter.” Eren sighed, “If only.”

Christmas Eve was a slow day. Jean and Marco were sleeping in late till their parents arrived; they’d be staying at a hotel even though Erwin extended one of his guest rooms. Marco was inquisitive, asking if they had arranged for two hotel rooms and his father said they had. Marco asked Jean if his mother had dated much. Jean told him his mother was very popular but it had seldom ever gone past the second date. Marco’s father, surprisingly, had never dated anyone after Marco’s mother. Though, he had flirted and had a few one night stands. Jean and Marco woke up in the nice guest room, curled around each other softly breathing and smiling at their first Christmas eve together.

For dinner everyone gathered at the house, Marco and Jean, Levi and Eren, Annie and Mikasa, Armin and Erwin, and Ms. Kirschstein and Mr. Bodt. They all ate till they felt they might explode and since it was tradition for the Kirschsteins and Bodts to give gifts on Christmas eve before midnight mass everyone else participated as well. Marco got Jean an entirely new water color set and a limited edition vinyl collection of Rammstein’s greatest hits. Jean gave Marco a pasta maker he’d seen him drooling over, he even pinned it on his “dream home” Pinterst board, and set of journals he could fill with as many words as his hands could write.

Armin was spoiled with books, clothes, and even more shocking a trip, if he accepted it, to Normandy. Erwin had been working on his own book for some time and received a grant to go to Normandy in the summer to get some primary sources. His expenses were paid for through the school for almost a month. Erwin thought that Armin might enjoy a historical vacation. Armin got Erwin books, a favorite hobby for both men, and tickets to an exhibit that was finally coming to the states for a short tour in Atlanta, and himself. Erwin chuckled at the bow Armin put on top of his head quietly promising to take him up his offer tonight. 

Eren had already gotten Levi a gift for Hanukah but for Christmas he couldn’t resist taking advantage of the day being also his birthday. Eren got Levi a tea set from Turkey his mother helped him find by calling a few relatives. He also gave him a vintage signed Edith Piaf record and a film about her life that he wanted to see but was glad Levi had not seen it yet. Levi also showered Eren with an absurd amount of gifts that even left Erwin at a loss for words. Eren’s favorite was a pair of tickets to see Lana Del Rey in concert in Atlanta. Armin noted it was the same weekend of the exhibit and were already making plans to share hotel rooms. 

Mikasa and Eren exchanged gifts that were more sentimental. She gave Eren a hand embroidered quilt with a forest motif. Levi and Erwin marveled at the stitching and the time put into it, noting that it was all done in hand and in a style that was dying out. She also gave him a letter but that was for private. Eren gave Mikasa a hand knitted red scarf with matching red leather gloves and a Japanese sword that was also a collectors. He’d had Erwin help him out with it as well. Annie and Mikasa had already decided to exchange gifts with Bert and Reiner at their house on Christmas day.

Armin moved to sit next to Erwin as Erwin handed Levi his gift. Levi unwrapped the briefcase seized package to reveal a rare hand gun and even rarer dagger. Levi’s eyes widened, “How did you find these two beautiful things?” Erwin chuckled, “I know collectors.” Levi laughed, “Well, thankfully I don’t feel so awkward about my gift to you now.” Levi disappeared into the kitchen, opening the two large doors to the walk in pantry, everyone could hear the rolling sound on the wooden floors but they didn’t know of what. Levi appeared in the living room pushing a wooden baby grand piano with a large red bow on it. “Now, you and I have no excuse. I demand a song every night.” Erwin jumped to his feet, “Oh Levi! You devil!”

They removed the bow placing it in the corner of the room. “Is it tuned?” Erwin sat down excitedly pulling up the cover to reveal the sparkling ivory keys. “Is this real ivory?” Eren wasn’t so sure he liked that. “It is but don’t worry, Eren, it’s an old piano I had restored, it survived a fire, and the keys are the original. This was before ivory was outlawed.” Erwin looked at Levi “I can’t believe you did this.” Levi put his hand on his shoulder, squeezing lightly, “Will you sing?”

_Like mother like son_ , Armin thought as Erwin began to play and sing. He sang like a professional and seasoned opera star. His voice, a deep baritone, was transcendent, full, and haunting. Armin knew the [ song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9MVCsYcmJQ) and lost himself along with everyone else in the room. 

_Leise flehen meine Lieder Durch die Nacht zu dir; In den stillen Hain hernieder, Liebchen, komm zu mir! Flüsternd schlanke Wipfel rauschen In des Mondes Licht; Des Verräters feindlich Lauschen Fürchte, Holde, nicht._

Erwin looked back at Levi smiling fully. He slid over allowing Levi to sit next to him. Levi’s hands hovered over the keys before deftly joining in with Erwin. Eren let out a shout of glee as Mr. Bodt and Ms. Kirschstein came over fully engrossed in the two men before them.

_Hörst die Nachtigallen schlagen? Ach! sie flehen dich, Mit der Töne süßen Klagen Flehen sie für mich._

Erwin’s voice resounded in the room, echoing off the walls in a flourish of emotion. Armin came to his side so that he could see his face better. That glorious chiseld jaw, beautiful eyes, and slight stubble forming on his chin.

_Sie verstehn des Busens Sehnen, Kennen Liebesschmerz, Rühren mit den Silbertönen Jedes weiche Herz._

His voice rung out „Jedes weiche Herz!“

_Laß auch dir die Brust bewegen, Liebchen, höre mich! Bebend harr' ich dir entgegen! Komm, beglücke mich!_

Everyone applauded at the end of the song. Erwin smiled modestly, hanging his head in delight and slight embarrassment as Levi moved to make another drink swatting away a clingy Eren who just wanted to praise him. Both men were talented, had their secrets, and both wanted to impress their young lovers. Mikasa and Annie decided it was time to leave when the others were leaving for mass. Midnight mass actually started around 11:30 pm in Maria and Jean’s mother wanted to get a good seat. Marco was just as enthused and Jean couldn’t believe he was basically dating his mother. They were all getting their coats on when they heard a few strange noises. Levi and Erwin looked up, brow furrowed as Ms. Kirschstein proclaimed loudly that Santa and his reindeer must be circling, waiting for everyone to go to sleep and is probably parked on the roof right now. Levi rolled his eyes, “Or, just maybe, the house is settling like old houses tend to do.” Ms. Kirschstein laughed, slapping Levi’s arm as Eren held his breath. Levi seemed shocked but then chuckled darkly and good-naturedly.

As they were leaving Levi saw them out. Mikasa turned back taking Levi aside on the porch while Annie waited on the steps looking out across the yard, “Levi, I wanted to tell you something.” Levi and Mikasa had a strange relationship. They didn’t dislike each other, that was most certainly not the case. But, they were very similar in their need for privacy and personal detachment from unnecessary things. They had the few people they cared about and that was all they needed. Mikasa and Levi sometimes got coffee together; they would sit in silence as they worked on their respective projects or talk about Eren. “Levi, I want to thank you for everything that you do for Eren, for how you take care of him, how you support him, and how you love him.” Her eyes began to water, “Levi, I realize I can’t always be the one who protects him. Did Eren ever tell you about how I came to be adopted?”

Levi shook his head no, “Well, in short, my parents were murdered. We lived in the country on a farm and my mother was pregnant. She’d been feeling strange and Dr. Jaeger was going to make a house call. He was my an old friend of my father’s. He feared it could be signs of a miscarriage and didn’t want her to have to drive all the way out to the hospital for potential bad news. While waiting for him to finish his shift and drive out to the farm three men showed up just before dinner, they wore masks and proceeded to terrorize us for hours. They tortured my father, killed him. Tortured my mother and killed her, too. They were going to kidnap me, do whatever it is they wanted to do. I fought for my life because I held out hope that Dr. Jaeger would get there and I thought he could maybe help my parents. Dr. Jaeger didn’t find me, Eren did and Eren killed two of those men singly handedly and I helped him kill the third. I have never forgotten that he saved me, saved my life. After it, his words, the way he treated me, that’s why I was able to move on from the horror of that day. I need you to promise me something.” 

Levi couldn’t believe what he was hearing, “What is it?” Mikasa took his hand, her perfectly manicured rose colored nails smooth against the skin of his wrist, “Something is coming. Something isn’t right. Please, promise me you’ll take care of Eren. Promise that if I’m not here you’ll protect Eren. Please.” Her voice shook, her tears spilled over her cheeks like a waterfall. She was so insistent that Levi’s own emotions threatened to overtake him. “Mikasa, I love Eren and I will never let anything hurt him. I couldn’t live with it.” Mikasa grabbed his shoulders hugging him tightly as she tried to regain her self control. “Thank you, Levi” she whispered into his coat, “Thank you so much. I know you will.” 

Mikasa pushed off wiping her face as Annie opened her arms to take her to the car. Annie’s eyes flicked to Levi’s, another kindred spirit. Levi walked back into the house finding Eren in the hallway. “You want to go upstairs and watch some TV together?” Levi tried his best to reconcile the young warm boy before him with a cold blooded killer of three. “I do.” Eren smiled calling Donner and racing him up the stairs. Levi would take cuddling over having that conversation tonight.

Erwin and Armin also went upstairs changing into their comfortable clothes. Armin was in the bathroom when Erwin decided to come back down and watch a documentary in the living room. He was sitting in the middle of one of the large plush white couches when Armin came bouncing down the hallway. “Found you.” He walked over to Erwin who was wearing a pair of thin cotton red and black plaid pajama bottoms and a white shirt. Armin had on powder blue short shorts and one of Erwin’s white t-shirts. His knee high powder blue socks had white bows printed on them. Erwin knew Armin was up to something so he continued to focus completely on the TV. He knew if ignored Armin long enough he’d be rewarded.

Armin sauntered over to him, crawling on the couch next to him, “Daddy, I’d like some attention.” Armin pouted. Erwin’s wicked grin spurred him. “What kind of attention?” Armin pressed against his side, “Special attention. I told you I was your present tonight.” Erwin’s mind caught up with him, remembering the special gifts Erwin had given Armin the day before. “Why don’t you lay across daddy’s lap?” Armin crawled his way over Erwin, resting himself stomach down over his lap. Erwin’s hand stroked up and down his back and then the back of his thighs. He pulled down the small shorts, down almost to his knees revealing the shiny top of a pink bejeweled butt plug. Erwin’s hand kneaded his cheek while he continued to watch his show, his thumb stroked the smooth jewel, gently pushing and prodding. “Remote?” Armin handed Erwin a small pink remote.

Erwin set the remote on the lowest setting, still rubbing the soft flesh of his buttocks and thighs. Armin moaned slightly as his thumb moved the plug ever so often. Erwin never played with him long enough to give him satisfaction. He was anxious for Erwin’s documentary to end and him take him. He couldn’t say that he hadn’t been feeling little sexually frustrated since Erwin and Levi had been so occupied lately. 

Nearing the end of the special Armin could hear bare feet on the wooden floor. Levi appeared at the opening of the hall from the kitchen with a glass of water. He looked over noting what was going on but continued towards the French doors at the back checking that each one was locked. “Is that a vibrating plug?” He asked Erwin pausing to look in mild interest at Armin’s exposed buttocks, “It is.” Levi continued to stare while Armin couldn’t help but feel equal parts embarrassment and arousal. “I’ve been thinking about getting one for Eren. I like the top.”Erwin paused the documentary, “Oh then you should get him one like this. They had a lot of colors.” Levi took a sip of water, “Shades of colors?” Erwin nodded, “yep.” Levi then turned and left leaving Erwin and Armin on the couch to finish the documentary.

Armin and Erwin made their way upstairs where Armin was already too aroused for any further foreplay. Erwin turned him on his stomach. He pulled the toy out, fingering Armin for a few seconds. Armin writhed around begging for Erwin to fuck him, quick and hard, just the way Armin liked it. Erwin took off his shirt and pants sliding his cock in smoothly as Armin’s eye rolled back. His pace was brutal but welcome and their finish was explosive. Boneless and incredibly warm, for Armin had come to love the feeling of being filled so fully by Erwin, Armin and Erwin drifted into a wonderfully deep sleep. 

Levi had fallen asleep before Eren and he could do anything too sexy, which was fine for Eren. He knew something was bothering him after his conversation with Mikasa but he didn’t want to press it. He decided to go and get his book from the study and read a bit before he turned in completely. He looked over Levi’s sleeping face, so serene. He leaned down brushing his hair out of his eyes kissing his temple before whispering,

_“In the name of Adonai the God of Israel: May the angel Michael be at my right, and the angel Gabriel be at my left; and in front of me the angel Uriel, and behind me the angel Raphael... and above my head the Sh'khinah “_

Eren left making his way down the hall after closing the door to Levi’s room. He entered the study locating his book on the table where he left it the other day. Eren turned around, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. He looked around, the small lamp light on. Levi always left lights around the house on. He hated the dark. Secretly, Eren was thankful. The darkness terrified him so much he didn’t like tell people because they often thought it was funny or tried to force him to overcome a fear that lived so deeply in him it was in his bones. He noted a black smudge by the table. 

Following the smudge across the rug and towards the fire place he made a perplexing discovery. The house had many fireplaces, all in working or near working condition. Levi’s study, though, had yet to be fully cleaned and cleared. This was soot and it was everywhere around the fireplace. Eren’s senses were screaming that it didn’t make sense. He was brought back, back to the day he had that same sense of overwhelming foreboding, the day he found Mikasa. Behind him he heard a satisfied exhale of breath, “Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas.” Everything went black.


	15. Self Immolation: Climax Prt II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***warning for violence, gore, and creepy creepiness and graphic depictions of violence and malevolent behavior***

It was cold, damp, and he was in so much physical pain his mind was torn between blacking out again and embracing a world of agony. He fought for the agony. He needed to stay awake. He couldn’t see anything, causing him to cry out and panic more. Every passing second increasing the level of panic.

Eren felt for whatever was holding him down, ripping and tearing at it and the flesh it restricted. He was manic, the only thing present was his need to get away from wherever he was. Finally, snapping echoed through whatever room he must be in made of stone. Rolling onto the hard floor he pushed off blindly searching for anywhere other than where he was. Stones, grassy straw, dirt, and Eren was then outside. The moon only a half but bright enough for his eyes to make out some shapes roughly.

Eren was running but his leg didn’t feel right and his arm swung in odd ways. All he heard were branches snapping, roots tripping him, he could hear himself muttering like a mantra, “fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” as he tried to figure out where he was. He appeared in the clearing of one of the pastures by the house near the front. He could see cars in the driveway, see the house. Levi was screaming for him, “Eren! EREN! EREN WHERE ARE YOU EREN PLEASE WHERE ARE YOU EREN!?” Eren couldn’t see him, couldn’t find him. He ran inside the house not knowing if that was the right decision.

Jean and Marco had come home before Armin and Erwin had gone upstairs. Both were tired from a long Mass and wanted nothing more than to wrap up together under the duvet and sleep. Jean had been prescribed muscle relaxers after straining his back during finals. He took one, drank the rest of his water bottle as Marco changed into his sleeper shirt and some pants. They normally slept in their underwear but the cold weather had made them want to start dressing more warmly for bed. Marco crawled in the bed laying his head down while Jean checked his emails, “Jean?” Jean hummed, “I love you. Is it too soon to say that?” Jean put his phone away immediately, “No, because I’ve been nervous about saying it and I’m so glad you said first. I love you too, Marco.” Jean started singing _”You light up my life.”_ Marco grinned shyly, hiding his face in his hand and pillow. “Babe, you’re so cute, kiss me.” Jean leaned over, lips puckered, and waited for Marco to remove his hand. They kissed passionately before settling down. Marco turned off the light rolling over to lay next to the man he loved.

Through a haze of sleep inducing muscle relaxers Jean felt like something was wrong. In his dream he could hear sounds, like mad whispers, and muffled cries. There were loud sounds, soft sounds, all of them present in his dream but he just couldn’t wake up. That was his curse when it came to muscle relaxers. He never could take them the day before anything pressing because he would sleep right through. He also was prone to lucid dreams and anything he tried to do to wake himself up would just manifest in the dream frustratingly. Finally, Jean awoke to an empty bed, upset beyond comprehension. The tension of the room hung over him, weighing him down with its queerness. He felt like every nerve in his body on fire, alive with fear. He fell out of the bed, searching for Marco. 

Where was he? He wouldn’t have left. He always slept through the night. Jean ran out of the room into the hallway, he stopped when he saw in large letters on the wall across from his door, “He sees you when you’re sleeping.” Jean pissed himself, understanding overwhelming him. He started down the hall, the first he would pass was Levi’s room. He slammed to a stop noticing above the door in blood, “he knows if you’ve been bad or good.” 

Beating on the door before bursting through it he found Levi springing out of the bed. A knife lodged into the wall by Jean’s head, barely missing him. “MARCO! EREN! HE HAS THEM!” Jean was sobbing. His speech was broken but the look of sheer terror that overcame Levi’s features as he looked around at the empty room. Donner was growling. He barked viciously before running out into the hallway. They heard shouting from Erwin’s room, Jean left Levi, running into the hall. Erwin was limping out, covered in blood. His arm clutching at something stuck in his side. His movements were strange, like he too was drugged. Jean moved forward but Erwin pushed him away, “Armin! Please! Go, go get him!” Jean rushed down the stairs sliding, slipping and falling down at the foot.

Jean knew he might have fractured something and his head pounded after bouncing off the bottom step. Jean couldn’t hear anything but Levi’s screams. They echoed through the hollow house, so desperate and mimicking his own for Marco. Where was Marco? Why did that bastard take him and not Jean!? Jean tried to think of where he should start looking. He kept scrambling around till he was outside. 

There was an out building, not belonging to the property but to the state. It was like an island in Levi and Erwin’s property. It was caddy corner to the back porch and at least 100 yards away. Jean’s stomach tightened, he saw the blood all over the back porch. He didn’t know how but he knew this was Armin’s struggle. It was tenacious, the blood all over in tiny droplets like a brush spun out of paint. Splatters told him a story, but he didn’t have time to read them. He ran outside across the yard, past the covered pool, and straight to the strange stone building that was used to house equipment for the power company.

Jean couldn’t open the door, its hinges were rusted. He kept pulling and pulling until he noticed and ax for splitting fire wood. He picked the ax up, making swift work of the door by sheer luck and adrenaline. His common sense should have told him that if the hinges were rusted shut then Marco probably wasn’t there but he couldn’t rule it out. He got the door open; splinters embedded themselves in his skin and face. He took a brief survey of the room, a wood stove, equipment that hadn’t been used since at least the 60s. He left out the door feeling lost and hopeless. Then, he heard something, it sounded like a moan.

Jean ran around the building till he found a cellar door, nay a storm shelter. It was so dark he couldn’t be sure what he was really looking at. It had been opened, the dirt chipped away at as if it had opened recently. Its corners dug into the ground. Jean ripped the doors open, he saw a flight of stairs and he took them into the blackness. There was a dim glow from emergency lights, a pale red that gave everything a zombie game experience and made him feel even more afraid. When he got to the bottom he ran past racks of old equipment and canned foods. This must have been also intended as a bunker for war or nuclear holocaust, whatever the people who built it feared. He opened another door, beds. Another door lead him to the most frightening sight he could have ever imagined.

Jeeter was standing over Marco. Marco was covered in blood and he was struggling against the straps on his wrists and feet. Jeeter had him laying on a table, a bag of medical utensils rolled out. “Hey Jean, so glad you could join us.” Jean was frozen, Jeeter had a scalpel, he traced the skin of Marco’s body with it, pausing to nick here and there while Marco’s eyes blazed, not with fear as Jean would have expected, but anger. “I was supposed to bring you down here but Marco volunteered to come. Let’s make this a bonding experience.” Jean’s stomach turned, of course, of course Marco would have protected him. He had to save Marco.

Jean moved forward hearing the sound of pooled water as he stepped around the room trying to get closer to Jeeter, “I would stay right where you are if I was you.” Jean stopped, “Jeeter, let Marco go. Take me instead. Take me please…” Jeeter shook his head, “put down the ax, Jean.” Jean still had the ax. He had one shot at getting Jeeter to drop the scalpel and leave Marco alone. Jean used to throw darts and had thrown around the ax a few times with Mikasa. He was a good shot. “Jeeter, please let Marco get off the table and leave. I’ll stay. I promise.” Jeeter seemed to contemplate his offer. “Drop the ax and kick it out the door and we can talk.” Jeeter pulled his arm up higher scalpel still too close for Jean’s comfort but he had to take the opportunity. He felt a sense of divine Providence as he remember Levi telling him a line that the Holocaust survivors in his community used to tell the young, _The first chance is the only chance you’ll get._

He threw the ax, launched it right at his wrist. It hit its mark slicing deep into the flesh. The scalpel dropped but Jeeter was too quick, he had a gun and Jean was weaponless. He must have had it on him. Jean watched as Jeeter’s deformed hand moved, getting more blood onto Marco. “Jean, I wish you hadn’t done that. I wish you hadn’t. I love you, Jean. You love me, Jean. You love me, don’t you?” Jean didn’t know what to say, he was still so close to Marco. Jeeter turned the barrel on to Marco, “YES! Yes, I love you, Jeeter, I want to be with you.” Jeeter turned his face back to Jean, he looked so hurt, “Then why did you tell him you loved him?” Jean’s throat dried up, he was spinning, “I-I” Jeeter put the gun in his pocket squatting down, to gather a gallon jug. “It’s okay, Jean. We can all be together now.” Jean couldn’t react fast enough before Jeeter poured the entire jug on himself and Marco. Lighting the liquid, Jean realized the room had been doused before he entered. He walked in to a trap.

Time stood still, like the first few seconds before a car crash. It seemed that as fast as it had slowed down time was then hurling Jean into the moment. Without thinking, he flung himself on the table where Marco was thrashing out of his binds as best he could. If Marco was going to die, he would die with him. The flames were hot, spreading, seconds were precious and time was a cruel master. He grabbed Marco, who screamed in terror and pain. Their lungs hurt, the fire burned up the oxygen in the room. He pulled them into the bedroom bunk finding an old fire extinguisher. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t feel, all he could do was pull and soon it was all white. He felt for Marco, spurred on by the need to survive. Pulling Marco up along with him to the stairs and outside, Jean prayed that Marco would be okay. They landed on the grass with a thud. Marco was gasping and clutching his face. Jean was terrified. He wanted to get them up, get them back to the house but they were so tired for some reason. Levi, Levi could help them, oh God why? 

Jean stood up leaning over Marco and pulling him up. Marco’s legs gave out. He whimpered and Jean couldn’t bear him sounding so weak, “It’s okay. I love you, Marco. Marco we gotta go.” Marco cried out again hiding his face from Jean, when he heard the awful noise of someone coming up the stairs behind them. Emerging from the ground was a terrifying sight of a mangled burned body, a real life animated corpse. Jean’s eyes filled with tears as Jeeter held up his gun, his croaking voice born of fire and soot fell out of a severely damaged mouth, “Jean. Come….with me.” Jean braced himself for the pain when he heard the gun shot. 

He heard the shot, he felt nothing. This must be what it’s like to die. Levi told Jean once, who’d always had a fear of drowning, that when you drown you don’t actually feel any pain. Instead, your body if overcome in a sort of euphoria. Jean didn’t feel euphoric, he felt pain. He opened his eyes to see a crumpled Jeeter on the floor, shot right through his right eye. 

When he turned around a soaking wet Armin was standing behind him, pistol held high. His shirt and shorts were soaked with water and blood. He had a head wound, the blood traveled down his face like war paint and Jean had never been in so much awe, fear, relief, or as in inspired by what he saw. Armin looked him in the eye, “Marco is burned, you are burned. We have to get to the house. You cannot freak out. It will make it worse.” Jean nodded, picking Marco up into his arms and running with Armin back to the house.

Back at the house the sirens could already be heard approaching. Armin struggled as he tried to open the door for Jean. He was right on his heels and Armin took a brief second to look around, look at where he’d fought and broken free. White hot fear coursed through him at the thought. Inside Levi could be heard, his voice foreign, not like his own but still his. “You’re going to be alright, Eren. Just stay calm. You’re going to be alright.” Jean started towards the sound of his voice, until Marco started seizing uncontrollably. “No, no, no, no Marco! Marco!”

Armin had reached his threshold for feeling. He dropped to his knees, held Marco’s head and neck still and called for Levi. Levi couldn’t come or wouldn’t come but the ambulance was there, he just hoped they’d get to Marco in time. If only he’d got him closer to the door. If only this had never happened. Jean must have reached the threshold, too. He wasn’t crying, he was doing anything but focusing on Marco. Both barely registered the EMT appearing at their side, only coming back to consciousness when they moved Marco. Jean wanted to go with them and the young man looked at him, “Of course you’re coming! You’re burned too! Everyone get in the ambulances!” 


	16. Hospital: A gradual Diminuendo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If thine eye offend thee, then pluck it out. If thine hand offend thee, then cut it off." 
> 
> News of Marco's and Eren's injuries rock the group as statements are taken and Kaddish is sung.

At the hospital Armin was checked out for harm and trauma. He was allowed to wait in the waiting room with Mr. Bodt and Ms. Kirschstein after they decided his injuries weren’t serious but he still had to be kept the night for surveillance. They were visibly upset but Armin couldn’t help but marvel at the way they were holding it together. Mr. Bodt had come later than Ms. Kirschstein, he went to the house himself. Armin didn’t remark on the miniscule droplets of blood right below his jaw, on the collar of his rumpled button up shirt, nor the slight spray on his fingers and knuckles. Instead, Armin vowed to use his new powers of extreme observation and deduction for good. He smiled despite the circumstances.

Erwin appeared in a wheelchair, obviously ignoring the wishes of his nurse. “Armin.” His eyes were blood shot, his face swollen from a punch, “Armin, baby, look at you.” Armin looked at Erwin, “What do you mean?” Ms. Kirschstein lay a hand on Armin, “Sweetie, you look horrible. Didn’t you notice the people moving away from you when we sat down?” Her face was compassionate as Armin stood up looking for a window or something reflective. He found a snack machine. Looking at himself made things even realer and far worse for his mental state. 

His white shirt of Erwin’s was soaking wet and almost completely stained with blood; his shorts, torn, muddy, and stained were no longer blue but some sort of rust color that made the paleness of his skin even more stark in comparison. He had bruises purple, black, blue all over his exposed skin. It looked like someone had held him down and just wailed on him. One could see whole hand prints on his throat and thighs. His face still covered in blood had been photographed by the doctors and police officers. He felt around his head, finding the cut and a small section where his hair had been pulled out at the root when attempting to get away. Erwin rolled over to him, “Baby, I’m so sorry. I couldn’t-“ Armin fainted.

Levi was in his own personal hell after finding Eren like he did. Eren’s right arm was barely hanging on, his left leg nearly cut off at the knee. How he had made his way back in the house was beyond comprehension. That sheer will and strong headedness that was so characteristically Eren was all he could think of. His face had been cut, just below his cheek bones. Levi couldn’t remember if he had just imagined that he could see his teeth through the cuts. 

Eren had lost so much blood. He had found him at the foot of the steps trying to climb them but completely collapsed and convulsing. He looked at Levi, his face in shock, “Levi.” That’s all Levi remembered before he dropped to his knees trying to find some way to stop the bleeding. He spoke to him, trying to have him hold a conversation with him to keep him conscious. “I love you, Eren. Did I ever tell you that? Did I ever tell you how much I love you? How your smile is the best thing to wake up to, how your voice is loveliest sound I’ve ever heard, and your eyes….your eyes are the most beautiful color I have ever seen and there is not equivalent. I’ve checked.” Eren gurgled a laugh his voice was so hoarse; “I’m bad off, aren’t I?” Levi panicked, “No, it’s going to be fine.” The same gurgling noise happened again, “Levi.” Levi couldn’t see anything but the obvious signs of torture on Eren’s skin, that same smooth tan skin he’d kissed these past few months. How many times had he had an opportunity to kiss him and not done so? Such a waste of time it was not to kiss him, he thought as he heard Armin call out to him. He knew it was wrong but he couldn’t leave Eren there. He promised. He had promised Mikasa and his legs wouldn’t have let him leave if he wanted to. 

Now he was outside the operating room waiting for a nurse, or any one for that matter, to tell him what was to become of Eren. Donner had stayed by his side after Levi found Eren. The entire time he searched for Eren on his own while Levi tried to take care of Erwin. It was like he too was in shock. For him to not have woken Levi, it didn’t make any sense. Had he tried and Levi was just too tired, the bed too high? It wasn’t Donner’s fault, it wasn’t anyone’s but his. They both heard the noise from Erwin’s room but that was nothing new. How did they get Eren away from him? He always held him tight against him, protecting him like a human shield.

Mikasa appeared at the end of the hall. He heard her strangled cry, “Le-e-e-vi” she fell down on the white tiled floor sobbing; Annie, Reiner, and Bertolt were behind her, their faces pained. “What’s wrong with Eren!?” She wailed from the floor. Her mouth hung open as she gripped her sides doubling over. Levi was choked up, all he could manage was “Who called you?” She curled up on the floor, her mouth still open in a silent cry, a shell of the person she had been while unwrapping presents just hours ago, “Ms. Ki-i-irrrschtein…said Eren…was…..attacked…?!” Eren hadn’t been attacked, he’d been mutilated. How was he going to tell her that?

Levi and Mikasa sat together as the doctor delivered the harsh news. Eren’s leg and arm were amputated; there was nothing they could do to save the limbs. He had various strange cuts and punctures over his heart, forearm, and neck. His body and tragically his face would be disgustingly scared. They had cut high, following the line that was the bottom of his cheek bone from above where his lips ended to where his ears began. It would take rows of stitches and a long time till he could talk again but they worried about the damage his muscles has incurred. There was a chance that the muscles would never fully recover. 

Due to the amount of blood he lost and the precarious state his organs were in, it was very likely he’d not survive. They gave him just a 10% chance for tonight and tomorrow it would only be 15%. They advised them contact relatives and a priest for final rights if that was something they wished. Mikasa cried against Levi’s shoulder. She didn’t want to call her parents yet, not while she was so upset. Levi held Mikasa against him rocking back and forth as Donner nipped at his ankles warning him that he was soon going to break.

Erwin sat with Armin as the police took their statements. They had already given short ones to the doctors but this was the first time two of the victims could be brought together and correlate. He sat on a towel, still unable to change. Erwin’s face had swollen fully, his eye closed over and blue. The detective sat down, “Let’s start with you Mr. Smith, what happened?” Erwin closed his eyes, “It was about 12:45 when we came upstairs to get ready and go to bed. We fell asleep. The next thing I know, I felt a sharp pain in my side and then another and another. My arms were ripped up and tied to the bed post. I felt the sting of being stabbed again in the neck and I looked over to see Armin already gone. I managed to kick the person who had tied me up, but I started blacking out. They must have drugged me. They were coming back in the room looking around like they were looking for something and I started struggling again. When I finally got my hands free they stabbed me in the leg. They kept grabbing my left arm, I have issues with it after an injury, and pinning it down. That let them get in as many punches as they did until I found my belt on the floor. I managed to overtake them and strangled them dead. When I finished, I moved to find Amrin.”

”When I came into the hall Jean was there. I could barely walk, drugged as I was, and I was bleeding out. I thought they hit an artery. I told Jean to find Armin as I slumped to the floor. Levi was hysterical as Donner, Levi’s service dog, found me. He stayed till Levi appeared. He started pointing at the wall and I saw in bloody letters, “He knows if you’re awake.” Jeeter, the stalker we filed complaints on and who is the ultimate culprit behind this, had left a picture at the scene of his last crime that was of Eren, Armin, and Jean. They each wore sweaters with a line from the song. I started to pass out. Levi bandaged me; he was shaking and calling for Eren. He moved me into the hall closet to hide me as Donner searched for Eren. Levi left me a knife and told me to be quiet. I waited in the closet listening as Levi yelled and searched for Eren in the house. It seemed like time was moving so slowly, just like when I was overseas in the middle of a bad raid. I just wanted Armin.”

Erwin took a moment to compose himself. He reached over taking Armin’s hand in his own. Both of their palms were cut and scratched from self defense. He took a deep breath steeling himself to continue, “I heard the front door slam open and the most horrific cry. The voice sounded coarse, like blood was trapped in its throat. I heard Levi run down the stairs. He kept crying out, “Eren! Eren!” I heard a thud, a body hit the floor followed by another and then it began.” Erwin lost himself. He sat quietly until the detective prompted him, “What started?” Erwin blinked, tears spilling over and down his face, even his swollen eye let tears escape, “Levi and Eren started talking about how he was dying. Eren would ask him if he was dying and Levi would deny it. I could tell from his tone he was lying to him, I’ve known him for so long. It broke my heart to hear Eren trying to actually comfort Levi when it started getting worse.” Erwin started to get very emotional, “And all I could think was fuck, I’m stuck here and I can’t do anything and Armin is out there and I can’t help him and I’ve failed.” Armin held his hand tighter until he calmed down, “And so I tried to go to Levi and help in any way that I could. I crawled down the stairs, but I couldn’t make it all the way. Shortly after, I started to lose consciousness again. Levi turned to me, told me to lay down on the stairs and wait for help. He kept applying pressure to Eren’s body, it was horrible. I’ll never forget how he looked but I heard Armin, I heard Armin calling for Levi and then Jean. Jean was sobbing. I passed out. I don’t remember much after that other than waking up in the ambulance and asking for Armin.” 

Armin stared at Erwin’s crumpled form. He’d not heard anything about Eren. His friend, his best friend, could be dead. “Mr. Arlert, what is your side of the story?” Armin’s mind was swimming, he wanted to find out if Eren was okay but in order to do that he had to get this over with and quickly. “I woke up because I heard something in what I thought was Levi’s study. I don’t know why, but I wanted to go check it out. Erwin and Levi often cry out or make noise when they sleep and it sometimes makes me wake up. Recently, I actually sense it before it happens and wake up first but this feeling wasn’t the one I normally got. Anyway, I went out to Levi’s study expecting to find him and then go back to bed .When I walked into the room I was hit on the head. When I came to, I was being drug onto the back porch. All I knew was I was being taken somewhere and being taken by someone I did not know against my will and I just…”

Armin didn’t know how to explain it. He didn’t know how to put it into words. “You just what, Mr. Arlert?” Armin keep searching for the words until he just gave up, saying exactly the first thing that came to him mind, “I just refused to die.” Armin shrugged his shoulders, “I knew he was going to kill me. I felt it in my bones. I knew that if I let him take me somewhere, if I gave him the upper hand then I was going to die. I refused to die, so I tore at him, bit him, scratched him, kicked him, everything. Every bit of self defense and countless years of rough housing with Jean and Eren all culminated into me ripping this guy a new asshole and making it as undesirable as possible to take me with him. He wore a mask and dark clothes. I kicked down on his leg finally breaking free. It was then I noticed he had gun. When he regained his balance I was already running. A bullet whizzed by, he had a silencer on but it hit the lantern on the post by the edge of the patio shattering everywhere. I ran out wide making a type of semi circle where I planned to lead him out into and then double back behind him. He ran out after me till he got to the post. He started searching meticulously, not falling into my trap the way I wanted and that’s when I saw two others appear. They had me on all sides. It was so dark but I could hear them. I knew I was defenseless against three of them and I had no weapon.” The detective broke in, “There were three total?” Armin nodded, “Yeah, all in dark clothes and masked.” Armin paused to drink some water while his body started shaking. The detective tapped his book with his pen, ”What did you do? You must have been cornered and there wasn’t anywhere else to go?”

Erwin seemed to have fallen into a sort of stunned trance as the detective waited with baited breath, “I got in the pool.” Erwin gasped as the detective’s hand still, he looked at Armin, noting how soaking wet he was and then understanding dawned, “It’s below freezing, Mr. Arlert.” He said in awe. Armin shook his head, “Yeah and there was ice under the cover. I managed to pull part of the cover back since there was already a tear in it; I got in as quietly as I could and put it back, stuffing the edge of the plastic under the thin rubber stopper of the lining itself. I couldn’t stay near the surface because the water was low and the sagging in the tarp would have given me away if I tried to move away from the wall. I couldn’t stay exactly where I tore it in case they saw it somehow and pulled it back. I hugged the wall going to the opposite end and then I went under and held my breath.” The detective’s eyes widened, “How long?” Armin shrugged, “I can hold my breath for about a minute 30 and I came up four times, barely letting my lips break the surface. Once I was sure they were gone, or rather hoped that they were, I crawled out. It was so hard to not make noise and I was shaking so badly from cold, but I got out and crawled on my hands and knees keeping as close to the ground as possible. Before I got back in the house, I heard someone come off the back porch and start running. I laid there, pretending to be dead, until they passed. I figured out it was Jean when I heard him step on the broken glass cursing.”

”Once inside I remembered that Erwin had gotten Levi a gun for Christmas. I took a chance that he would have also bought amo since it was a rare gun and Erwin is a planner. I was right. A luger that loaded from the top, I thanked my lucky stars. I knew that Jean had run off the porch heading somewhere so I looked out and saw that power station or whatever it was and I just started running there. I couldn’t figure out where those men were and Levi was yelling so loudly I thought they might be in the house trying to get to him because he was so loud and that wouldn’t be safe. I was just confused but trying to think about things rationally. I crouched down when I saw the door had been smashed and I started crawling again. I was about ten feet away from where Jean and Marco emerged when I stopped crawling. I was about to stand when I saw another figure coming out of the ground. Jean and Marco were crying and that, person, that thing, said “Jean, come with me” and I knew it was Jeeter. He was burned all over his body but I wanted to him to live long enough for us to get some answers, something. But then he had a gun and he was going to shoot Jean so I shot him. There was no other alternative. I couldn’t risk Jean’s life.” 

The detective nodded asking, “About where did you shoot him?” Armin didn’t have to hesitate, “Right through his right eye.” Erwin was floored, “You shot him?” Armin turned to him, “I don’t like guns, but I know how to use them and I’m a damn good shot. I shot him like I would a deer or any other animal. If fire didn’t kill him I would.” Armin’s tone was matter-of-fact and for the first time Erwin caught a true glimpse of just what Armin was capable of. He was both terrified and amazed.

Eren’s stats were changing by the minute. He had a fever so high that they decided to put him on ice to try and lower it. His chances of survival had now dropped to a dismal three percent. Marco wasn’t in any better of a situation. His entire right side was burned so badly that it had started to cave in. He’d lost his eye, his organs were shutting down one right after the other, and he was at risk for a major infection due to the nature of his wounds. They moved him to a special room where they continued to monitor him. They told Mr. Bodt that his son would more than likely perish in the night and that might be the kindest thing for him. He wailed punching the wall and fracturing his hand.

Jean had second degree burns on his hands and arms, his feet were also burned with cuts due to glass. The splinters lodged in his face and arms were painstakingly removed so as not to infect his burned skin. Jean was sedated after hearing that Marco was going to more than likely die in a few hours. His world had faded out as the words tumbled forth from the doctors mouth while Ms. Kirschstein silently cried next to her burned son. He had given his statement to the police. He’d done all that was asked of him. But, what he didn’t expect was for them to come back and tell him Eren was going to die, too. No, that was beyond comprehension.

He found Levi and Mikasa against the wall out of the way of the main waiting room. Both were starring at the floor with hollowed eyes; neither moved when he came over to sit down next to them. Eren was always going to be the three year old boy in blue and yellow swim trunks who wanted to play in the creek with him. The five year old who asked him to ride four-wheeler’s with him. The eight year old rival for everyone at school’s attention and best friend to curl up next to on the floor after school to watch _Sailor Moon_ , _Dragon Ball Z_ , and then _Bill Nye the Science Guy_ with. He was the ten year old who in scouts didn’t really excel at one thing but was the most determined and ended up winning the most merit badges. He was the thirteen year old soccer rival that he got in a fight with over their mutual best friend. He was the cute fifteen year old with long legs, tan skin, green eyes and a tendency to speak Turkish when angry who approached him one day, confessing his interest in him, and led him to the bedroom where they began a whirlwind romance that burned brightly until it burned itself out eight months later at a Dippin’ Dots stand in Fort. Walton. Eren was love, Eren was home, Eren was like Jean’s brother and a part of Jean’s own soul. It’d be like losing Armin. What would Armin do when he found out? Jean just let the drugs do their job and he slumped over on the bench till Mikasa’s hand found his.

The Jaeger’s arrived at the hospital just after dawn. Carla Jaeger took hold of Mikasa as Dr. Jaeger stood like he didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t the doctor delivering bad news to patients. This was him and everything they told him made sense to some degree but was completely outrageous on the other. Grisha continued to stand for some time until Levi stood, swaying from his own impending attack. Grisha looked at Levi, mouth parted and helpless when Levi took his hand leading him back to the bench. They sat down together, Grisha asked a few questions. Levi’s answers were sufficient enough for him and he kept a hold on his hand. “What does your God tell us to do in times like this?” he asked, truly sincere. Levi turned to him, “We have the same God, Dr. Jaeger.” Levi’s monotone voice stretched before them. He turned to him, eyes wide and bloodshot. Grisha felt for the first time the weight of just how cruel he’d been to this man when he came to visit them, this man who clearly loved his son a lot more than he had thought. Levi whispered, his accent thicker than he remembered, “Pray. Pray and if death comes, for it shall come to us all, then we say Kaddish.” Grisha nodded and mumbled, “Not too different from us. Is the Kaddish a song?” Levi shrugged, “A prayer and there are a few songs. I would sing for Eren. I would want his soul to be sung into Olam Ha-Ba. But, I also want to pretend that I don’t understand what they are telling me right now and just ignorantly hope for the best. You want the same thing, I can tell.” Grisha smiled slightly, “I do. But you might want to say that Kaddish anyway since it's likely Eren could be passing right now.” Dr. Jaeger's eyes began to water as Levi's beautiful voice began to fill the room. He was the son of Paris' most beloved Jewish female kantor after all.

__  
Yeetgadal v' yeetkadash sh'mey rabbah.  
May His great Name grow exalted and sanctified  
B'almah dee v'rah kheer'utey  
in the world that He created as He willed.  
v' yamleekh malkhutei,b'chahyeykhohn, uv' yohmeykhohn,  
May He give reign to His kingship in your lifetimes and in your days,  
uv'chahyei d'chohl beyt yisrael,  
and in the lifetimes of the entire Family of Israel,  
ba'agalah u'veez'man kareev, v'eemru: Amein.  
swiftly and soon. Amen.  
Y'hey sh'met rabbah m'varach l'alam u'l'almey almahyah.  
May His great Name be blessed forever and ever.  
Yeet'barakh, v' yeesh'tabach, v' yeetpa'ar, v' yeetrohmam, v' yeet'nasei,  
Blessed, praised, glorified, exalted, extolled,  
v' yeet'hadar, v' yeet'aleh, v' yeet'halal sh'mey d'kudshah b'reekh hoo  
mighty, upraised, and lauded be the Name of the Holy One, Blessed is He  
L'eylah meen kohl beerkhatah v'sheeratah,  
beyond any blessing and song,  
toosh'b'chatah v'nechematah, da'ameeran b'al'mah, v'eemru: Amein  
praise and consolation that are uttered in the world. Amen.  
Y'hei shlamah rabbah meen sh'mahyah,v'chahyeem  
May there be abundant peace from Heaven, and life  
aleynu v'al kohl yisrael, v'eemru: Amein  
upon us and upon all Israel. Amen.  
Oseh shalom beem'roh'mahv, hoo ya'aseh shalom,  
He Who makes peace in His heights, may He make peace,  
aleynu v'al kohl yisrael v'eemru: Amein  
upon us and upon all Israel. Amen.  


The group was reunited in the waiting room, Erwin rolled in as Carla and Ms. Kirschstein were talking, they paused looking at the state he was in. But what brought a gasp from everyone was the way Armin looked. The hospital was going to find him something to change in to and the police wanted his clothes. Levi opened his mouth before thinking, “Why are you wet?” Armin’s eyes were tired. Levi saw in him what he saw in his own mirror every morning when he replied, “I got in the pool.” Levi didn’t understand, “Why?” Armin shrugged, “It was there and I had no choice. I refused to die easily.” Levi nodded in understanding. “Damn.” 


	17. Aasef

Nothing made sense anymore as they were all brought into the doctor’s office to hear about Eren and Marco’s conditions. They had been kept in the dark for days even after the threat of legal persecution on behalf of the Jaegers and Erwin and Levi. It seemed that what little information that did get was grim and vague. Jean’s mother had told Jean she overheard nurses talking about trying to save Marco’s organs for transfer. Mr. Bodt had been furious at the news and Levi kept disappearing back to the house searching for where Eren had been taken. The doctor sat down behind the large oak desk. His room was tidy, small but comfortable. He was a decorated war veteran with photos from his various tours on the walls. The Gulf Wars were present in headlines of news articles he had pinned to the cork board in the corner. He spoke to Levi more than anyone, believing Levi to be Eren’s husband, a miscommunication born of Levi’s desperation to ride with Eren in the ambulance.

”Listen” he began taking off his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose, “you’ve seen a lot of messed up stuff, haven’t you kid?” Levi nodded. “Well, I got here a damn mind boggling one that has left me and my staff in shock. I’ve had to remove people from the team and everyone else has signed privacy statements I had legally drawn up, I’ll get to y’all with that paperwork don’t worry. But, I’m trying to prevent a riot or worse with this information.” Levi was shaking, “Is Eren dead? I just...” Dr. Jaeger and Mrs. Jaeger each sat on either side of Mikasa. Mikasa was an empty shell. She’d spent more time with Levi these past few days than with them just sitting and staring at the wall while he was racked with attack after attack. Donner wouldn’t leave his side. When Levi and Erwin had been able to talk it was about either the clean-up at the house or Armin. Erwin was worried about Armin, who had regressed into this non-feeling almost sociopathic disposition at the news. 

The doctor cleared his throat, “They grew back.” He just held his hands up in a “what else can I say” type of way and leaned back in his chair. “He’s got a new leg and a new arm. He’s also almost completely healed, his face is almost scar-less in fact his skin forced the stitches out causing us to keep re-stitching until we finally noticed what was going on. His punctured lungs are healed and he’s off the ventilator. His kidneys are working and the results are gunna come in in a bit but I’m sure they’re going to be fine. He still has this high fever and we’ve been monitoring his brain for signs of damage but he’s awake and talking. He’s just so hot, it’s insane. Body temp is showing 114.7.” 

Levi didn’t even have time to care about all of that. “I don’t care about any of that shit, tell me straight, is he going to return to his life physically okay?” The doctor nodded in consent, “He should be able to go home at the end of the week if his temp goes down. Well, if it even can.” Levi felt a hot wave of feeling flash over him before he reached for the waist basket and threw up what little he’d eaten in these past three days.

”What about Marco?” Jean’s voice was small. Mr. Bodt was next to him, holding on to Marco’s watch. His world was very dark and Jean’s mother had comforted him best she could. There was no way they were going to get such good news from the doctor about him. “Umm well, that’s interesting. He’s probably going to be the same way.” Jean just stared, “What?” His voice still small but his trademark bite seeped in. He thought it cruel to lead someone on like that. “His burns were beyond our capabilities so we were focused on maintaining him long enough to recover his organs for donation. But, just when we had given up hope, everything internal has returned to almost new, the sagging is fixed, his broken ribs returned to their original state, and the skin looks good as new. We still thought his face would be beyond reparation but his eye just appeared before I came inside. It took a much longer time to re-grow than Eren’s limbs. We think the damage he suffered was greater and therefore, it had more to do inside preventing him from dying of organ failure and infection than re-growing his eye and face.” 

Jean sat completely still as he thought about what had been said to them all. No one in the room moved or made any noise until Armin burst into loud manic laughter. He was smiling while gripping the patent leather arms of the chair. His normally lively blue eyes were watery, bloodshot, and his pupils were blown wide. He rocked back and forth as Erwin moved to grab a hold him. Everyone was too disturbed by the display to do anything. The doctor looked more perplexed than upset by Armin’s behavior, “What’s…what’s so funny, boy?” Armin started shrieking convulsing as Erwin fully pulled him over into his lap. His grandfather had come down after the Jaegers and the man looked truly horrified by what was going on. “We need to sedate him.” Erwin held Armin too him, cooing softly trying to soothe the crumpled mess of a boy in his arms as a nurse appeared, syringe in hand and ready to administer a sedative. 

The rest of the group started breaking down in their own ways. Levi cried silently along with Mikasa, the Jaegers sobbed openly with Marco’s father, Jean was still in a sort of stunned state where he believed that any second now it was all going to just be a dream. Erwin held Armin in his arms, his face grim. Jean found his legs, standing up shakily from his chair. His mother reached out to help him stay balanced as he went over to where Erwin’s wheelchair had been placed. Armin’s grandfather moved over as Jean crouched down onto the floor. He moved to touch Armin’s arm.

With tear streaked cheeks and a shaking lip, he turned his face to Jean, “Arm” his voice soft, “it’s bad right now, and this is cliché as hell, but you know and I know that it’s going to get better. We’re actually all okay right now. In fact, you, Erwin, and I, we’re the unlucky fucks and we’re the only ones worse for wear.” Jean laughed quietly still rubbing soothing circles on Armin’s back, “My God, Jean…I know that’s true but do you really not understand what happened?”

Jean’s brow furrowed, “I ain’t as smart as you so I probably missed whatever you’re talkin’ about.” Armin looked around the room before returning to Jean, “I don’t think I can just spell it out.” Levi vomited again before standing up, Donner was trying to pull him to lie on the floor, “Oh, oh, oh, no. No, no, no, no...” Levi’s breathing erratic. His entire body went limp as he leaned against the wall. His eyes closed tight, hand rubbing along his stomach in an attempt to be soothing as he tried breathing correctly. “Nooooo” he released every so often with a gust of air, “No, HaShem. Why?” 

The doctor pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “I feel like I’m a third wheel to this conversation. Are you implying to know what is causing this miracle to happen? If so, do I want to know?” Levi’s head rolled back to rest on the wall as Donner laid against him, “You don’t want to know but you need to know. We need to speak privately. You should call your legal counsel.” The doctor nodded searching for paper work as the unusually silent Jaegers finally reacted, “What are you talking about?” Carla demanded turning to Levi and clutching Mikasa’s hand, “What happened to my son!?’ Levi sunk to the floor, how was he ever going to protect Eren now? 

Erwin was Levi’s legal counsel as usual and once Hanji arrived they didn’t see the need in hiring anyone else. Hanji had, for all intensive purposes, the information the doctor needed and he had his legal contracts amended to meet the needs of the situation. In order to keep Eren and Marco safe as they still healed, there were no visitors or communication allowed until their release date on December 31st. It was just where they were being released to that was the question.

The house had been cleaned from top to bottom; the only sign of entry was the fire place in Levi’s study. Jeeter must have come down it and then unlocked the doors at the back. Levi and Erwin had neglected to have the security system turned on since crime in the town was almost nonexistent and they were not yet living full time in the house. Once, they realized this they had the service turned on and Levi was already contacting contractors about a panic room. There was nothing they could do but try and plan for the future, even if that meant reselling the house. Levi would not make Eren stay somewhere he didn’t feel comfortable. 

When Eren was released his parent’s were there, hugging him and crying. They begged him to come home with him as Mikasa simply stood to the side wide eyed and stunned that he was really there. All the thoughts of what he would look like, live like, be like were in contrast to the boy before her right now trying to calm his parents. He asked where they were staying and they told him at the hotel near the mall. He understood where that was and asked how long they’d be staying. His mother said she didn’t know because they had expected a different outcome. She wanted him to come home with them but he shook his head, embracing her before looking to Mikasa, “Momma, Dad, I’m staying here. It’s going to fine. We’re fine and we’re safe now.” Mikasa smiled softly as he took her hand, “I’ve got Mika and Levi with me. You don’t have to worry. It’s all going to alright.” 

Erwin had Armin come with him to the house, his grandfather had to go back to their hometown and he left Erwin not only with a seal of approval but the responsibility of taking care of Armin. Erwin didn’t mind but he was still concerned with the change he’d seen in Armin’s behavior recently. “Armin, we have the police report but we were going to give the news to everyone when we all got together.” Armin didn’t re-act. “Baby.” Erwin cooed, moving the hair out of his eyes. Armin looked up at him, lips making a thin line. “Erwin, I just want to go to bed.” Erwin huffed, “Well, we can go back to the hotel and take a nap.” Armin shook his head, “No, I want…I want to go to bed in our bed. I just want to see Eren and Marco and I want us all to just…go to bed…in our bed.” Armin’s face was so serious; he bit his lip in concentration as if debating to go on. Erwin was momentarily stunned before chuckling, “You want’em all in our bed. Every one of ‘em.” He became more tickled by the visual as Armin’s brow furrowed, “Because then we’d all be together” he continued as Erwin just kept laughing. Tears were spilling over his lashes as he wiped his face that was red as a tomato, “Baby, I get it. I promise I get it.” Armin studied his face before mumbling, “You’re not acting like it.”

Marco was released to his father who was moved to tears again. He held his son close to his heart mumbling in Italian. Marco was just as emotional as he held onto him like a child who’d spent his first week at summer camp away from his home. Jean’s mother wiped her eyes as she held Jean back from rushing Marco. He was still bandaged and his feet were painfully sore from the broken glass and burns. Marco turned to find Jean he held out his arm for him as Marco’s father held his out to Jean’s mother. They all embraced, a type of family in their own way, before heading to the car to go to Levi and Erwin’s house. Marco took Jean’s face in his hands kissing him passionately once they got in the car, “I’m so glad to see your beautiful face.” Jean covered his hands with his own, “me too.”

Carla and Grisha decided to go to the house with Eren, still hesitant to leave their son. Mikasa held Eren’s hand the short drive over, “Eren, I-“ Eren cut her off, “I love you, Mikasa. I love you so very much and it’s all going to be fine.” Mikasa smiled, tearing up, “Are you going to be able to go back to the house?” Eren smiled, “Yeah, of course. The way I look at it is, that’s where we survived and that’s where we got the upper hand.” Mikasa didn’t understand but his confidence made her feel better about returning as well. Eren wanted to see Levi and the others. He also wanted to hurry up and get things back to the way they were. Ideally, he’d like to fall asleep next to Levi in their warm bed all over again but wake up to the smell of him cooking matzo balls, which Eren had developed quiet the penchant for, and Armin and Erwin arguing over the Bolsheviks till Erwin kissed Armin breathless. 

Once at the house Eren sprung from the car, dragging Mikasa with him. Inside he actively forced out the visions of that night, instead he searched for Levi. Mikasa broke free. If he could have seen her there, standing in the foyer, her face flushed, her eyes smiling, her lips parted and the way she clutched the red scarf he made her, then he would have caught a glimpse of the true unconditional love she felt for him, they both felt for each other. Eren climbed the staircase and bounded down the hall to Levi’s room. When he opened the door, he saw Levi sitting in one of the plush chairs, head resting against the back of cushion, and a near empty bottle of Jack Daniels on the side table. “Levi!” he cried rushing to the chair and crawling into his lap.

Levi regarded the boy in his lap with suspicion, “Eren?” Eren took Levi’s hand kissing it, “Yes, sir. It’s me.” Levi shook as he wept, cradling Eren’s face in his hands. Eren nuzzled his hands, “I’m home, Levi.” Levi touched his face, looking for any sign of the deformities he saw that night, “take your clothes off. Please, I can’t believe it.” Eren shook his head in understanding. Standing up he took off his shirt and pants leaving him only in his boxers. “I’m fine, Levi. See?” His voice was soft, like he trying to coax a kitten from underneath the sofa. Levi reached out his hands roamed his skin where he had seen only wounds nearly six days ago. “Eren, I’m so sorry.” Eren stepped forward running his hands through Levi’s hair, pulling him back, “You’re why I’m alive.” He swooped down kissing Levi as his hands continued to roam across the tanned skin.

Once they all gathered in the living room Levi and Erwin produced the police reports. “Everyone by now knows that Jeeter was behind the assault,” Erwin’s voice was fit for more of a court room than a living room, “But he wasn’t working alone.” This was new news to the Jaegers, Marco, and Eren. None had been allowed to share their testimony with each other, other than Erwin and Armin since they were the only two victims affected by the same attack able to talk. Not to mention, Levi and Erwin had a gag order served to everyone after the shocking revelation that Armin had brought to light. They still couldn’t discuss that with the Jaegers, Ms. Kirschtein, and Mr. Bodt. “When the police arrived on the scene and took survey they found Jeeter on the ground 135 yards away from the back porch on Alabama Power’s property. The equipment house was once a storage shed and bunker. We had no idea when we bought the property because that technically doesn’t belong to us, though they morally should have made us aware.”

”His body was burned but the cause of death was a single gunshot wound through the right eye. Armin did that. Eren was held and tortured in the second barn on the property. We were going to have it demolished and renovate the other one but it was closer to the actual house and we held off till doing it. They put him in the wine cellar in the bottom of the barn. Eren’s blood was all over the area and leading to the house. We found it the next day when Levi and I went tracking with the police. That means someone hit Eren in the head in Levi’s study, pulled him out of the house to the barn and started torturing him while he was still unconscious. There were signs he’d been strapped down to a work table, bits of tissues and skin were left from where he ripped himself off of it. Armin must have been taken after the others were let into the house and this person had already left with Eren. We think that at least two people came down into the fire place.” Levi coughed, getting up to take some more anti-anxiety pills. He was having a hard time with this as it was without thinking about how two people shimmied down a tight shaft into his office. He would have it sealed off. 

”At the scene, six bodies were found including Jeeter. All are being investigated.” Erwin closed the file. “The police believed that Armin was in a state of shock and survival and he killed these other five people.” Carla Jaeger interjected, “You think he had a break in reality and just forgot he killed them?” _No, not my baby, not my little love who wears oversized sweaters with kittens on them, not the boy who plays with Commander every night before bed, not my rival when it comes to controversial historical topics, no. I don’t think he killed five extra men and just forgot about it._ Erwin’s lips formed a thin line before he began, “The time of death falls into the window of when the attacks began and before the police showed up. Only the emergency team came when we first called. On other side of town the police had been called to a domestic disturbance. Armin says he didn’t shoot anyone other than Jeeter…but the shots were fired by the Luger and the amo is missing.” Erwin patted Armin’s knee. Armin stared at the cup of coffee Erwin had made him that sat on the coffee table. Mrs. Jaeger cleared her throat, “Well, I suppose it would be possible then.” Erwin shot her a disbelieving glance and then surveyed the room. No one seemed particularly shocked. “Does anyone here think that this seems like something Armin would be capable of? Killing six people and not remembering.” Jean leaned back in his chair, “Honestly Erwin, Yeah. Armin is scrappy. He’s cut throat when he needs to be.” The tension increased until Jean looked Erwin right in the eyes, “But, he’d remember. Armin will always be gold in my book. So, I think this is bullshit and the cops just can’t explain what happened.” Eren snorted, “I don’t know. I think the answer is pretty simple. Someone came back or was waiting to take them out after they finished the job. Probably regardless of if they were successful or not.” Armin let out a little laugh, “I know I would. Two can keep a secret,” Eren finished, “If one’s dead.”

Levi and Erwin exchanged glances, “You two are…terrifying.” Levi’s voice was cool. “I think that’s the pot calling the kettle black.” Armin said to Levi, cutting eyes at Marco and Mr. Bodt. “I do think they were killed to prevent them from doing anything further, more than likely to prevent them from saying anything further.” 

Erwin broke in, “At least this nightmare is over. I am terribly sorry that your holidays were ruined Mr and Mrs. Jaeger, Ms. Kirschstein, and Mr. Bodt. At least you can all sleep well now knowing that everything is fine and everyone is safe and healed or healing.” Ms. Kirschstein smiled, “Yes, I agree. Erwin you are a fine man. It’s a pity that Levi’s and your home was the scene of such a grievous crime but now you can make new memories and we can all move on to better things. I hope to be invited back for another fabulous party and show.” The rest of group agreed and they all fell into conversation that lasted till late in the evening.

The Jaegers needed to return home to take care of business at the hospital but Carla begged Eren to come with them. Once it had been made explicitly clear he would not be going back with her she told him how much she loved him and spent time with just Mikasa and Eren in the formal sitting room. Levi gave them their space as did Erwin. Erwin knew something was going on with Armin. 

He had reached his limit, pulling him into the powder room with him. “Armin, I have to talk to you.” He gripped Armin’s shoulders tightly, “Are you okay? Are you seriously okay? You’ve been so distant lately and I’m worried about how this has affected you. The best thing to do is to talk about it. Would you like to see someone professionally?” Armin’s hands came up to Erwin’s own, his eyes sympathetic and more like they were before the incident. “Oh, Erwin.” His voice was soft, “I’m sorry. I’ve been…thinking.” Erwin was puzzled, “Thinking?” his voice a whisper now, too. “Yeah,” Erwin shook his head. He didn’t understand. Armin stroked his face, fingers ghosted over his lips as Erwin started to tear up. Armin gasped, “Oh, daddy. I’m so sorry. Jean and Eren knew, knew it from the moment this all happened. I killed someone. I mean, I have to think about why. I have to think about why this happened and who did what and stuff like that. I gotta think about it all and figure it all out. When I do, I tend to become really cold and detached. I’m sorry. I’ve mistreated you in a way. I should have explained.” 

Erwin sat down on the toilet. “You’re just thinking…” He said the words, turning them over in his mouth. “What have you figured out, baby?” He said exasperated as Armin crouched down before him. “Let’s go in the living room and you’ll find out. Tonight, Erwin, tonight I’m all yours. Just have faith in me a little longer. Trust me.” Erwin did trust Armin. He loved him and he was terrified of what he was going to tell them.

Armin and Erwin entered the living room after the Jaegers left. Mikasa had decided to go lay down, calling Annie to come over to the house and get her. Armin moved quickly, “Could you all come sit down again. I think it’s best if Mikasa just stays upstairs so don’t bother going to get her.” Everyone sat anxiously awaiting whatever Armin had to say, “Mr. Bodt,” he paused until Marco’s father’s eyes met his, “You know what I’m about to ask.” Mr. Bodt nodded, “I do.” Armin shifted, “You killed the others before you came to the hospital but I need to know where you found them? Were they doing anything out of the ordinary?” The room was silent before Mr. Bodt answered. “Talking. I came in through the front door and saw the gun on the floor Erwin gave to Levi. I used my handkerchief,” he pulled a red handkerchief from his inside pocket where he also kept his rosary that he’d used in the hospital to pray for Marco, “to pick it up, went to the porch, saw them standing around arguing and talking animatedly. I tried to understand what they were saying but I didn’t speak the language. I was enraged and I shot them all.” 

Armin slid a coaster to him and put a pen down, “Write what it sounded like. Write what you think they said or heard. Try to be phonetically explicit.” Marco’s father sighed taking the pen and rolling his shoulder, “I heard two of them yelling “Aasef” and then something like “Lah ref”?” Levi took the coaster penning in under the second word “La a’ref” before tossing it to Erwin. Erwin picked the coaster up, his lips pressed together, brow furrowed, and skin pale. “Well, this is bad.” Armin turned to him, “What does it mean?” Levi slung his arm on the back of the couch behind Eren. “Aasef is “sorry” in Arabic and “La a’ref” is “I don’t know.” Armin rubbed the back of his neck and shoulders, “This…has to do with not only the research you’ve been doing but your lawsuit with the military. I would bet money on it. These people, they have other motives than just aiding in a stalking mass murder or whatever. Right now, Eren and Marco hold the key to your research; Sonny and Bean are no longer going to be the targets. I never asked about the details of the lawsuit and right now I don’t think it’s the time or place. I also don’t think I have to worry about going to jail for killing anyone since the police ruled it all as self defense which means Marco’s father is in the clear and I’m just a killer on record.” Armin paused inhaling and then exhaling, “God, I’m so tired of thinking.” 

Eren moved, “I have something to add but it’s strange.” Armin perked up, “What?” Eren moved his hands down his legs gripping his knees as Levi pulled him closer. “It’s about Jeeter and Jean. Do you think Jean reminded Jeeter of someone and that’s what led to his obsession? Do you think…” Eren stopped turning to Marco, “Marco who injected you?” Marco’s eyes widened, “Can we…talk…about that?” Erwin nodded, “Go ahead, I was more worried about the Jaegers getting involved but it would seem Mr. Bodt is now fully invested and Ms. Kirschstein, well, her face told me she already knew he killed them. We cannot, Mr. Bodt and Ms. Kirschstein, discuss our research in question with you. Please don’t ask us to.” Ms. Kirschstein crossed her legs, “Sweetheart, I think Mr. Bodt and I are following just fine without your explanations.” Levi turned to look at her in all her French glory, all she needed was a lit cigarette and pill box hat. Levi decided that Ms. Kirschstein was his kind of woman.

Eren pressed, “Marco?” Marco shook his head, “No, in fact the one who did got in trouble. He kept saying, “Not him! Not him!”” I know he wanted to do it to Jean. He did have a slight accent when the guy replied “it doesn’t matter which one.”” Eren took Levi’s hand in his tracing patterns, “Do you think Jean reminded Jeeter of someone he loved who died? Do you think he was a soldier?” The room had never felt so vast as Erwin considered that possibility. “Because, maybe, that explains why he had…an inclination for being around or dealing with corpses. Maybe he wanted to make sure Jean couldn’t die from wounds or something…symbolic like that. I think the fire was a last resort. Because how could we heal if we were completely incinerated?” Eren kissed Levi’s hand. Erwin had started massaging Armin’s shoulder while he listened. He stopped when Armin straightened up. ”If he was a soldier…Eren, thank you. I can work with that.” And then Armin smiled, for the first time he felt and looked like his old self. Erwin was so relieved.

After the meeting they ordered take out and ate with Mikasa and Annie before she departed. It was only about 9:00 pm but the day had been tiring. Deciding it was best to call it a night they all retired. Mr. Bodt and Ms. Kirschstein left for the hotel as Marco and Jean climbed into their bed. Jean had expected to feel overwhelmed but instead he thought back to Marco laying on the pillow beside him, blushing and covering his face after he told him he loved him. Marco hummed his trademark Italian tune as he moved the pillows to the floor. “Jean, I love you. Please don’t be mad at me.” Jean was feigned shocked, “M-mad? I’m not mad.” Marco gave him an incredulous look. “Well, I am a little. Why did you go, Marco? You shouldn’t have gone.” 

Marco smiled, “I was honestly just pissed off. I tend to get tunnel vision like my dad.” Jean was curious, “what happened?” Marco shrugged, “When they stabbed me with that needle I got a little fuzzy. Once he had me in the cellar I got my chance to fight back. I stabbed him with one of his tools and I almost got free. I was pretty tore up and the effects of the serum were taking over but I was going to get free. It wasn’t until he started talking about you that I got enraged and went back. I just wanted to kill him. I wanted to kill him dead so he could never hurt you. I started passing out and he put me on the table.” Marco smiled, “But, it’s all good now. I’m here, you’re here and he’s dead.”

Jean snorted, “I think my honesty is rubbing off on you.” Marco smiled, “Do you wanna mess around?” He raised his eyebrows suggestively, “Unless you’re not feeling up to it. I’d just like to you know, be close to you.” Jean removed his shirt standing in only his red briefs. “I am always up for you.” He winked as Marco burst into laughter. “Just try to be gentle with me. I’m lucky that they lowered my burns down to only first degree and I’m doing pretty well healing.” Marco removed his clothes before getting into the bed, “Don’t worry, I’ll be real careful.” Marco’s smile gleamed as Jean opened the bedside drawer blushing. 

Jean laid down as Marco moved between his legs him. His hands pulled down Jean’s briefs as he kissed down his chest. Marco took Jean’s cock in his mouth, sucking on it as it hardened. Jean leaned back allowing his head to roll to the side so he could watch as Marco bobbed on and off. He kept his eyes open, gazing at Jean seductively as he coated him with his saliva. When Marco bobbed off with a pop he coated his fingers with lube bringing them to Jean’s entrance. He suckled on Jean’s head, dipping his tongue in the slit as he stretched him, pulling moans from Jean as he scissored him open. 

Marco was very well endowed. Jean tightened up at the intrusion of his cock but Marco had stretched him well. Once fully sheathed inside he gave Jean a moment to adjust. Jean let out a shaky breath, “God, Marco.” He moved his hips a bit bringing his hand down to his lower stomach, “You’re so fucking big, Marco. I think I can feel you through stomach.” Marco chuckled, “Wow that sure does flatter my ego, Jean,” Marco kissed Jean hotly before pushing forward just a bit. He tore his lips off of Jean’s, his voice low and rough, “You’re not so small either.” His hand moved to Jean’s cock stroking it. Jean rocked back on to Marco slowly and blushing, “Damn, Marco. You can move if you want…” Marco kissed Jean rocking into him. His hands skimmed his body as he thrusted deeper into Jean, stroking him with his hand in time. 

Jean was lost in the beauty that was Marco. His face, lips, freckles, everything. It was all so beautiful to him. He felt his body come alive as Marco started hitting his prostate. Marco’s mouth was parted, his breath coming in and out in huff as he committed wholeheartedly in making Jean feel good. Jean gripped Marco as best he could without causing more pain to his hands. Marco kissed Jean and soon they were fighting for dominance. Jean won, his tongue searching out every part of Marco, Marco the beautiful and strong Mafioso’s son who saved his life and who makes every moment wonderful. Marco, the man who’s skin was speckled with the tears of angels and Marco, the most sensual creature that ever made by the hand of God.

Jean and Marco continued to rock together till they came. Jean’s moans were a chorus of love to Marco. Marco’s head slumped forward on Jean’s chest. They stayed together until Marco moved to roll over. When Jean opened his eyes he saw Marco smiling that same goofy smile, “Why you smilin’ babe?” Marco looked into Jean’s eyes, “Because I am just so happy to be here with you. Now, let’s go to sleep.” Jean laughed cuddling up with Marco. “One day, Marco. I promise you, one day your smile with hang in a gallery.” 

Levi went into the bathroom drawing a bath. He filled the water up high in the massive tub and added some bath salts. Eren had removed his shirt looking through his things in the closet. “Eren, do you want to take a bath with me?” Eren heard the want in Levi’s voice, “Yeah, I’ll be there in a sec.” He grabbed his sleeping clothes and laid them on the bed before entering the bathroom. Levi was already in the tub, his head against the rim of the tub, eyes closed. Eren thought for once he looked his age.

Eren stripped stepping into the tub. Before he could sit at the opposite end Levi opened his eyes. His voice was commanding but loving, “No, come sit with me.” Eren sat between Levi’s legs resting against his chest. His head fell back on Levi’s shoulder where Levi’s lips found his. It was a slow kiss, intense and full of things unsaid. Levi wrapped his arms around Eren, pulling him closer. Eren whimpered as Levi bit his lip. His hands roamed Eren’s stomach and sides. A hand tweaked his left nipple making him moan wantonly. Eren was fully and painfully aroused when Levi turned the faucet on to warm the water. He returned to his teasing, one hand stroking Eren beneath the water. Every time Eren got close he would stop or grab the base preventing him from finding release. 

Eren had been on the edge for a while before he opened his eyes to see Levi’s own. They were focused on his body and thus Eren finally had the chance to look at them uninterrupted. They were gun metal grey with flecks of cool blue and gold; the slight golden bits looked like the leafing on a Klimt. Levi was so handsome, more so than Klimt could ever hope to capture. Eren closed his eyes as Levi worked him further, “Levi?” Levi’s hand stilled, “Yes?” Eren opened his eyes finding Levi staring at him, “I want to come.” Levi smirked, “alright.” He turned away when Eren mumbled, “will you choke me…kind of?” Levi froze, “what?” Eren grinned, “Yeah, I know, it’s weird. But I like it. You don’t have to…just thought I’d ask.” Levi still didn’t move.

Eren closed his eyes accepting he’d killed the mood when Levi spoke, his voice small, “are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.” Eren looked to find Levi utterly torn. “Yeah, I don’t want anything too hard. I just kind of like it sometimes.” Levi seemed comforted by that, his hand came up to Eren’s neck, careful just to constrict the air flow and not crush or damage his windpipe. Levi found it ironic he was being asked to choke someone for pleasure and not self defense. Eren bucked when he started cutting off his airflow, clearly enjoying it. Levi continued to stroke him watching his face as Eren’s viridian eyes watered but stayed locked on his. They were glazed over with lust. Levi felt himself become more and more aroused at the small choking noises and moans Eren made. He licked his lips maintaining eye contact with Eren. It was too much for Eren. His body jerked, hips raised off the porcelain tub. Levi clenched harder stroking him as Eren came in the water.

He relaxed his hold as Eren gasped for breath. His body shook with after waves of pleasure as he fell back against Levi’s chest. He whimpered sagging against Levi. Levi stroked his hair kissing his forehead. He let the water drain out and used the hand held showerhead option to rinse them off. Levi carried Eren out of the tub, sitting him on the counter to dry him off before they both got dressed for bed. Eren gave Donner a pat on the head, the fire burned low in the fireplace, and Levi locked the door before they got under the covers together. Eren moved into Levi’s arms kissing along his collar bone and up his neck. “I love you, Levi. Thank you.” Levi rubbed Eren’s back, “Never leave me.”

Erwin joined Armin who was already in the bed after they each took showers and brushed their teeth. Armin normally blow dried his hair but tonight he towel dried while Erwin showered. Erwin had stepped out of the shower while Armin whistled suggestively. He kissed him asking if he needed help changing his bandages but Erwin sent him on his way, wrapping new gauze on his leg and chest. When he entered the room, Armin had wrapped himself in the duvet surrounded by a fort of pillows. Erwin chuckled pulling away the pillows, “Baby, I can’t see you.” Armin curled tighter, “I’m just happy to be back home.” Erwin’s heart tingled every time Armin called the house home. He was glad that Armin was so attached. He was hopeless when it came to him and this attack had scared him that Armin would never feel safe or worse leave. He pulled Armin out from beneath the covers kissing him.

Armin and Erwin laid down facing each other, pulling the duvet and sheets over them to keep them warm. Erwin’s hands roamed over Armin as he snuggled closer to him, “How did you figure it all out, baby? How did you know?” He whispered across Armin’s exposed collar bone as he rubbed his lips across the skin. “Your arm” Armin squirmed as Erwin began to suckle and nibble, “You said the guy kept grabbing your arm and pinning it down. I thought, how strange to grab that arm when you’d be on the right side of the bed that night. We fell asleep before moving to our preferred sides. And then I started thinking, what if the group involved was also involved with whatever happened overseas with those contractors. I just had a gut feeling and I went with it. Now, after Marco’s father said they were speaking in another language and it was Arabic that would fit from the short stories you and Levi have told me. You were stationed in predominantly Arabic speaking countries…” Armin trailed off as Erwin rolled him onto his back, hovering over him.

Erwin peered into his eyes, “You’re going to be a dictator one day. That mind is far too dangerous.” Armin smiled bringing his hands up to card his fingers through Erwin’s unruly hair. “You’re so rugged right now. Look at that scruffy beard and uncombed hair.” Armin giggled as Erwin leaned in closer, his lips inches away from Armin’s, “You like it?” Armin shook his head laughing. Erwin growled kissing Armin ravenously. His hands clawed at Armin’s pajamas, ripping them away as his hands smoothed over his skin and gripped the supple flesh of his ass. Erwin broke away from their kiss, “God, baby,” he swooped back down and Armin bit his lip before rolling his hips into causing Erwin to hiss. Armin pulled back flipping them over, “You like that, daddy?” Armin continued to rock his hips against Erwin’s straining erection, his own leaking one on display. “I hope you’re ready for a fun night.” Erwin chuckled, “You won’t walk for days, baby.” Armin chuckled, “bring it on.”


	18. You can drink and forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I decided to break this chapter up. Here is the first part. How is everyone doing after the incident and what about Erwin's mother and other strange things.

The next morning Armin was limping to breakfast from their all night affair. He sat at the island table as Levi cooked. Erwin came down shortly after with a blanket and a book. He gave the book to Armin and wrapped him in the blanket, kissing him on the cheek as he joined Levi behind the stove. Eren came down later curling up with Armin beneath the blanket yawning. He asked if he would read aloud. It was his lucky day that the book Armin had was a book of poems: 

  
Does it matter? -losing your legs?  
For people will always be kind,  
And you need not show that you mind  
When others come in after hunting  
To gobble their muffins and eggs.  
Does it matter? -losing you sight?  
There’s such splendid work for the blind;  
And people will always be kind,  
As you sit on the terrace remembering  
And turning your face to the light.  
Do they matter-those dreams in the pit?  
You can drink and forget and be glad,  
And people won't say that you’re mad;  
For they know that you've fought for your country,  
And no one will worry a bit. 

Jean came shuffling down the stairs and into the room. He made a cup of coffee and opened the sketch book he had with him. He sketched while Armin continued to read, sketched their morning in the early sun’s glow. Marco’s with his freckles face and Levi’s smile that he only showed to Eren when he thought no one was looking, Erwin’s strong upper body and face that looked like it was chiseled from marble at the hands of Donatello, Eren’s eyes and their limitless range of emotions, and then there was Armin’s petite mouth that was so pretty it reminded him of a woman’s with the delicate cupids bow and full pout. Jean basked in the soft morning and smells of whatever Levi was cooking up. Marco surprised him, sliding in beside him with Jean another cup of coffee and an espresso for him. He nuzzled Jean’s shoulder with his head, _“Babe, there’s something tragic about you, something so magic about you. Don’t you agree?”_

Jean laughed as Marco sang smiling that familiar smile he loved so much. Everyone in the room was surprised when Levi took over, _” Babe, there's something lonesome about you. Something so wholesome about you. Get closer to me.” Eren smiled ear to ear as Levi voice filled the room and Levi moved to stand behind him ruffling his hair. Erwin joined in, “No tired sighs, no rolling eyes, no irony. No 'who cares', no vacant stares, no time for me.” Erwin danced over to Armin running his hands through the messy mop that was Armin’s bed hair before they both continued to the chorus, “Honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago. Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword. Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know. I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door.” Levi and Erwin finished in a flourish as the egg timer dinged making the others laugh. “Well,” Erwin began, “that was breakfast theater everyone.” Levi moved behind him, “remember to tip your waiter and drink responsibly.” His monotone voice made it all the more funny as Eren snorted and nearly choked on his coffee._

The next few weeks were spent relaxing together in the house. They were all at home there. Mr. Bodt and Ms. Kirschstein had insisted on staying until the second to last night of the break. They had all drank and played games while at the house. It would appear that Ms. Kirschstein and Levi were quite the pair, their banter covered coy and flirtatious to cruel and witty, often in French. Eren wasn’t sure what made him more jealous, the way Levi lit up when she landed a delectably cruel burn on him or the fact that his voice while speaking French was the most sensual thing he had ever heard and it drove him wildly jealous that he was directing that voice to someone other than him. Macro’s father seemed to be equally as jealous, putting on a romantic song and pulling her away for dance after dance as Marco and jean watched on in horror and satisfaction.

Erwin and Armin were making cookies passing through to the living room every so often for a song or dance. Armin and Erwin were pros at swing and flapper style dances, over-joying Ms. Kirschstein who even managed to get Levi to waltz with her. Jean still didn’t dance but that didn’t mean he rained on Marco’s parade as he and Armin took turns breaking it down with the occasional rap song came over the speakers. Instead, he made sure to video them all and send the clips online to Hanji. These past few weeks had been a much needed break for them all, allowing them to rest and heal emotionally. 

Just a few days before, Levi had made one of the [rooms](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/05/b0/16/05b0162da46e300552dc73c640c3bd78.jpg) into a studio for Jean. Erwin and Levi had come to him while he was setting things up explaining that they foresaw Marco and Jean being a part of their lives and that the house was plenty big enough for them to stay with them whenever they couldn’t stay at the dorm or if they chose not to stay in the dorms after this year. They could stay with them indefinitely. Jean was floored; he did enjoy staying with them but figured that they weren’t really hoping that they’d stay after everything went back to normal. It made sense that Eren and Armin would move in with them, they were basically like old married couples, but Jean and Marco? Jean was touched. 

Jean told them they didn’t know how to thank them but Erwin and Levi were quick to tell him just what he could do for them to call it even. Levi wanted a painting of Eren and Erwin wanted one of Armin. They both left Jean to his own devices but slid a few large unused canvases in the room before leaving. Levi gave Jean a stern look before saying, “You’re family now, Jean. This isn’t finished and it won’t be for quite a while. If you need anything, you tell us. You can pass that on to Marco as well.” With that Levi turned and left Jean in his newly furnished studio with a heavy heart and commissions to keep him busy.

Marco sat down on the chair next to Jean, “You spaced out. Are you okay, Jean?” Jean didn’t think about it before he blurted out, “They said we could stay with them pretty much forever.” Macro adopted the pleasant smile he often used when he was speaking with people at the coffee shop or, like now, with Jean when he wanted to appear as neutral and personable as possible, “Um Jean, would you like to be more descriptive?” Marco smiled as Jean gave him that “I think I made myself pretty clear” look he gave him about twice a day, “Levi and Erwin said that we could stay anytime and that if we didn’t want to renew our lease for the dorm we could stay with them…for an indefinite amount of time. Get it?” Marco laughed, “Oh, yeah. Now I do. That’s so nice of them.” Jean tapped his pencil on the edge of his book, “They said we’re family now, if we need anything we should say something to them.” Marco stood up kissing Jean’s cheek, “Then we’re some lucky sons-of-bitches.”

Eren’s jealousy over Levi and Ms. Kirschstein’s little affair had left him venting to Armin in the powder room. “I know it’s silly but I am pretty jealous. He’s never spoken French to me like that.” Eren pouted as washed his face of sweat from dancing. Armin was sitting on the lid of the toilet waiting to do the same. They hadn’t really spoken much since the incident, they were just wrapped up in Erwin and Levi. Armin hadn’t wanted to admit how dark his world had become faced with the possibility of Eren’s imminent death and after hearing about his reaction from Erwin Eren didn’t want to want ask Armin about it. They had been slowly drifting apart over the last two months and he felt guilty. He watched as Armin tied his hair back, “Well, you know, our Halloween costumes went over really well. Perhaps, if you dressed up again like that you’d remind him he didn’t need a middle aged French woman to woo with the language of love.” Armin winked, “Not that Jean’s mother is old and homely but you get what I mean.” Eren smiled, “Yeah, but I don’t want to recycle the costume…” Eren watched as the water glided down Armin’s petite features, the way his mouth parted revealing the small pearly teeth. When was it that they stopped talking about things other than their boyfriends with each other? Why had Armin not pointed it out already? Did that mean that Armin didn’t care anymore about him, that he had fully replaced him with Erwin and didn’t need him anymore? Armin watched out of the corner of his eye Eren’s face change. It was only for a second but enough that it had him worried. He pondered as he washed his face. It probably wasn’t the best time to ask what was wrong, “Call Mikasa and ask if she has a long brunette wig. How about you become his French girl for a night?” Eren started laughing, “My God, so titanic-ish.” Armin snorted, “I don’t think you would have made Levi stay in the water, though. He likes being cold but not that cold.”

Armin fixed his pony tail, “I wonder if I should do something nice for Erwin?” Eren felt a stab, but he knew it was stupid and his jealousy wasn’t health. Eren tried to play it cool and winked nudging Armin in the side, “Well, you know once school starts back we’re going to have to return to the old “who the hell is trying to create super soldiers and use us as guinea pigs” mystery again and that has been proven to hinder sexy time opportunities. Also, being in the dorm we’re going to be in, as Levi refers to it, “ancestral squalor” again.” Armin was secretly thankful. The close confines kept Eren close and they hadn’t been as distant until they moved into the house. Eren feigned concern, “I don’t think Marco and Jean would like to come home to us each in costumes getting it on in the living room like some sort of free love commune.” Armin shrugged, “I don’t know. Would that be so bad?” Armin and Eren each held their breath, a small wave of panic overcame them but soon it was gone and Armin watched as Eren gave him a sly look, “You are by far the freakiest one of our group. I just don’t understand.” Armin opened the door, “Freaks have more fun, Eren. Don’t act like you haven’t thought of a foursome.” He winked, noticing Eren blush a deep red, while walking back out. He dodged a bullet, but for how long? How long could they go without really talking to one another about all the things they had left unresolved before school ever even started? He came to find Erwin and Mr. Bodt speaking in Italian in the doorway between the kitchen and living room.

Armin grinned, “You speak Italian?” Erwin blushed, “No, uh just a little.” Mr Bodt slapped Erwin on his back, “He speaks very well. Some of your sayings though, boy they take me back. Not exactly how the youth speak.” Armin hugged Erwin’s arm, “How did you learn?” Erwin lowered his head, “My mother’s records. She sang in Italian often. Did I ever tell you she only sang in languages she was fluent in?” Armin shook his head, “No! You didn’t!” Marco’s father was intrigued, “What was her name? She was famous, correct?” Erwin’s eyes sparkled, “She was very popular.” He demurred before continuing, “Her name was Marilyn Smith but her stage name was Geraldine Rose.” Mr. Bodt’s eyes lit up, “She-she played for us! She played for my family in Rome! We would have these reunions and my grandfather loved, absolutely adored the arts! He’d have a painter come and paint us or a violinist perform while we sat on the lawn of the Bodt estate. Oh, but your mother came a year or two before I came to the states. She had been touring and he caught up with her manager. Did she ever mention it? I’m sure it was quite a shock for her when she showed up and realized she was singing for gangsters.”

Erwin was quiet for a while, “Well, unfortunately that was before I was born. My mother died in child birth and I never got that story.” Mr. Bodt nodded, “Your father?” He asked softly as Erwin drank more of his scotch, “He is also dead. I…we never talked about her unless he brought her up and of course he told me things but they were more about their relationship and him making it obvious to me that she loved me and he loved me.” Marco’s father rested his hand on his shoulder, “Yes, I completely understand. I did the same thing for Marco when his mother died. Well, if you’d like the story I can give it to you.” Erwin grinned, “Please.” 

Mr. Bodt drained his glass of wine, “She showed up looking like a vision. She wore the most beautiful white form fitting dress, turned all the heads of my cousins. I was newly married and even my wife turned to me, she was really feisty I’ll tell you, she turned to me and said “Are you lookin’ at her?” And I said “Of course, I’m lookin’ at her. What do you mean “am I looking?” Look around everybody is lookin’ at her, you’re lookin’ at her.” Well, my wife didn’t much care for that but it was the truth, your mother was a beauty who knew no bounds. Well, my Carmela was the most beautiful to me but try telling her that a few days after. A woman scorned and all that.” Mr. Bodt laughed while Erwin blushed lightly, “My wife and I sat on the grass as she took in the place, men with guns, a few women who’d seen better days and wore bad cosmetics, and then the children that ran around like gypsies. She met my grandfather while he was doing some business. I can’t imagine what she overheard. I’m sure it wasn’t to her liking. The whole time she wore the most demure smile. Her eyes were so blue, in fact, while I’m sure you’ve been told that your eyes resemble hers, she had a slightly different shape and the color is actually closer to Armin’s here.” Armin blushed as Erwin turned to look more closely at his eyes, “She took her place by the fountains and she sang _Sempre Libera_. We were moved to tears. As mobsters you can imagine how that went over with us, in our souls.” 

Armin was not familiar with the song, “What is it about?” Erwin answered him, “The title means “Always Free” and it is about a woman who rejects love because she ultimately believes that she loves freedom more. It’s wonderful.” Armin took Erwin’s hand as Marco’s father chuckled, “She drank us all under the table, too and took about 5000 in cash plus what my grandfather paid her. She was a gambler and a damn good one.” Levi walked by, “It runs in the blood. Erwin has left men naked on the side of the road with their fortunes in his pocket and their dignity claimed.” Marco’s father burst into laughter as Erwin tried to repress a sly smile. “Levi, don’t spread such slander.” 

Levi smirked, “I came back to the barracks once when we were in Denmark and there was this boat blocking my way to the bunks. I was hung over and pissed off. When I heard a rustling coming from the boat it startled me and I threw my 40 into it like a grenade to scare whatever critter was livin’ in it and what appears but Erwin and a hooker. Apparently, when he split off from me he ended up in a shady establishment where someone decided to try and take Erwin, the unlucky soldier tourist, for all he was worth. Erwin said he made it his mission to destroy him and he took his boat to settle the debt. I didn’t even like this guy but that sure did make me want to go out with him the next time we had leave to just see what else might happen.” Levi took a drink from his beer before Armin cut in, “I take it he grew on you?” Levi shrugged, “Like fungus.” 

Erwin laughed, “You’re too cruel Levi.” Armin gave him a side glance, “What was the hooker like?” Erwin pushed Armin towards the kitchen, “Oooooh, who even remembers stuff like that? Hahahah” Levi made sure to raise his voice, “A raven haired twink. He had a Danish navy uniform on and said he came along with the boat. Double entendre and all.” Armin gasped turning to Erwin who was still trying to push him away, “My God, what a scandal, my vapors!” Erwin stopped pushing, “I was young!” Armin still cast him a scrupulous look, “And Levi, you don’t really want to go there.” Erwin’s glance was warning. Eren had turned around from his place on the couch, head just above the back and eyes narrowed like a hawk, “What does Levi have to worry about?” Levi turned to see Eren starring a hole in him. “N-n-nothing brat. Go watch your cartoons.” Marco spat his drink out, “Cartoons? What the hell are you talking about, are you a grandpa?” Erwin laughed manically, “Let’s just let this die so grandpa doesn’t put anyone in the corner for time out.” Levi tch’ed and the group moved on to other discussions.

Eren called Mikasa before Jean and Marco’s parents left for their hotels. They would be heading home early in the morning and said their goodbyes tonight. Mikasa said she had the perfect wig for him and that tomorrow he could stop by Annie’s and get his stuff and Armin’s. Eren was surprised but Armin was a planner. He probably thought about something for himself while helping Eren. Either way, he knew both men would love whatever they had for them. 

Armin climbed into bed turning on the TV while Erwin was in the bathroom. He had been reading his book when he thought about what he had planned for tomorrow. Talking about things ahead of time with Erwin would probably be best. He also wanted to hear more about that hooker and what secret dirt he had on Levi. Armin heard Erwin open the door and flick off the light. He got in bed with just his boxers on. Armin had taken another one of his older shirts and was wearing only that and his black ankle socks. Erwin got in the bed resting against the pillows. He moved his leg to rest against Armin, “I don’t know how you can wear socks to bed. I hate it.” Armin snickered, “I don’t want my feet to get cold. Or do you want me to stick them on you in the middle of the night and give you a freight?” Erwin gave him a contemplative look as he hummed, “I think you don’t cut your toenails and if you take those off they’d cut me in my sleep.” Armin burst into laughter, “Erwin! I cut my toenails!” Erwin chuckled as Armin put his book on the nightstand still giggling.

Erwin turned the TV off. He watched as Armin pulled his hair back up and out of his face. “Go ahead.” Armin smiled wickedly, “Whatever do you mean, my good sir?” Erwin rolled his eyes, “You’re about to ask me all sorts of things.” Armin snuggled down, “Yep, first, how do you feel about bdsm?” Erwin choked, “My Lord, that’s not a topic for polite company.” Armin smiled impishly as Erwin took a moment to contemplate. “It really depends. I’m not into anything elaborate like harnesses hanging from the ceiling. I don’t want to be tried down to anything, my hands being tried behind my back or something like that isn’t bad but never my legs and never to anything. Also, promise you’ll never blind fold me without asking. I don’t want to be blind folded unless asked, ever. Regardless of how intense our play is.” Armin promised before he continued, “I’m fine with you being sadistic to me verbally. I would enjoy you making me do stuff, submission like things. If I don’t like something I’ll speak up.” Armin nodded in understanding as Erwin sighed.

“Why do you ask?” Armin shrugged. “I was just curious what you thought. Next question: I want to the dirt on Levi.” Erwin tried to shrug it off, “There’s nothing, baby. And that isn’t a question that’s a request.” Erwin looked smug but Armin pressed, “Erwin, that’s like why people are in relationships, double the secrets! What was with the hooker, too? I’d have thought that you’d be able to find someone you didn’t have to pay.” Erwin flushed, “You promise you won’t say anything if I tell you?” Armin played innocent, “Of course! Why, if it’s that hard for you talk about then we can-“ Erwin cut him off, “That’s a poisonous lie you’d nag me to death if I didn’t tell you.” Armin giggled as Erwin ran his hands through his hair. He’d shaven in the bathroom and Armin slightly missed his more rugged look, “I got the hooker with the boat. That was true. But I only chose to let him…perform his professional duties because he bore a striking resemblance to someone.” Armin wrinkled his nose, “Who?”

Erwin sighed giving him an exasperated look, “Armin, really?” Armin kept thinking, “I don’t know…I don’t know yo’ life daddy…” Erwin just blurted it out, “Levi…he looked like Levi.” Armin gasped, “You fucked him because he looked like LEVI? YOU WANT ED TO FUCK LEVI?” Erwin shrugged, “It’s all very simple. I liked Levi as a person. He hated me. The more I got to know him, the more I liked him. He just continued to hate me. We had to work together and it started to bother me that he didn’t like me. I mean, what was up with that? Then when I became his superior he started hating me more. Then it got to the point that I just wanted to fuck him. I wanted to fuck him hard and just put him in his place and maybe make him like me in some sick alpha male way…I don’t know. So, we kept getting into sexually tense situations where we’d get into fist fights and our superiors had to get involved. We had to work together because we just worked perfectly. The tension kept building and building and then we were in Denmark and he started noticing that if I slept with anyone there was a trend…” Erwin trailed off become silent. 

When he didn’t immediately continue Armin started to feel like he was dying inside, “Tell me mooooore!” Erwin became beat red, “So, this one day after a horrible drill where we got our asses torn up we headed back to our shared office and I’m not sure what happened but I was sitting in my chair and Levi said “At least I’m not the one who’s fucking generic versions of his partner. If you want to fuck then maybe you should man up.” Next thing I know I’ve got him on the desk pinned and he’s kicking me and we get into this brawl that’s basically this erotic fight for power and we end up fucking on and off for a while in order to try and one up each other. It actually made us closer and better friends.” Armin’s mouth is wide open, “So, you both basically had sex to establish alpha rank.” Erwin nods, “exactly.” Armin nibbled his lip, “Soooo, I know who bottoms now but who bottomed with you and Levi?” 

Erwin gave Armin an embarrassed look, “Who ever won the fight beforehand.” Armin pressed, “Who won first?” Erwin’s face got redder, “Armin! I had no idea you were such a freak.” Armin whined, “But it’s so hooooot. What’s wrong with being a freak? If you wanted to be with someone sexually boring then none of us are suited for you. Perhaps, you should go on Christian Mingle? I bet they have boring sex. I even asked Eren to think about a foursome tonight.” Erwin gasped, “You did?” Armin snickered, “Uh, yeah. Am I the only one that has considered that? I mean, we live in the same house and Levi stared at my ass the other night while you used me as a sex toy display, basically. We’re not normal and we never will be. We’re barely respectable anymore.” Erwin laughed as Armin snuggled closer, “You were always a fallen man, Mr. Arlert, it’s why I was attracted to you.” Armin kissed him chastely, “Shut up.” Erwin hummed before asking, “Did he say yes or is that still, you know, an open question?” Armin slapped his arm cackling, “I knew it!” 


	19. Mirrored relationships

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst and unhealthy relationships come to a head.

The next morning Armin woke up to Eren poking him in the face, “We need to pick our stuff up from Mikasa so get up and come with me.” Armin moaned, rolling out of the bed. “Is it like, super cold or just cold?” Eren sat on the bed, “super cold. Even for you, Arm. It’s like 12 degrees” Armin cast a disparaging look out the window, “I feel like the cold has betrayed me.” Armin pulled on a long-sleeved black thermal shit, oversized grey cardigan; dark navy blue jeans, dark olive pea coat, and a mossy green scarf Eren had made him a few winters ago. Eren smiled, “You wearing that old thing?” Armin touched the scarf, its fabric smooth like silk but so warm. It was one of Armin’s most sentimental pieces, “Yeah, I’ve missed it.” His eyes met Eren’s who still softly smiling. Eren was wearing dark skinny jeans, a thick brown cable sweater, dark grey military style jacket, and an oversized loose ruffle black scarf that he wrapped around his neck and onto his shoulder. Both Armin and Eren donned their beanies and boots, before they left the house to Eren’s car. 

The drive to Annie’s wasn’t that terribly long but it was treacherous. Ice had formed over the past few days and even though the city took safety seriously the salt had done little to prevent dangerous sludge and black ice from forming. Eren’s phone rang; he hit the button for blue tooth, “Hello?” Levi’s cool voice appeared in the car, “Brat, where the fuck are you?” Eren snickered, “Off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz.” Levi was not amused if his silence was any indicator, “You think it might have been nice to leave a note? I wake up in bed without a brat and I start to panic.” Eren frowned, “Oh, Levi, I’m sorry. I just had one thing in mind and I sort of just followed through with that.” Levi tch’ed, “Where are you, for real?” Eren was stopped at a red light that wasn’t working, “I’m on a mission. Still in Maria so no worries.” Levi sighed, “I have to run over to Hanji’s for while. She called and said it was important. Be safe and next time leave a note, brat. Or else.” Eren laughed, “Yes, captain. I will. I love you.” Levi’s voice was kinder as he mumbled, “Love you too, little shit.” 

Armin giggled, “He’s got it bad for you.” Eren smiled shyly, “Good, I hope that doesn’t change. I called Hanji the other night.” Armin already knew, Jean had overheard the call and told him because he was concerned. It had been eating at him, piling on all the other grievances he had with Eren that he’d let sit and fester. “I know.” Eren shot him a look, it took him a second but he then realized what must have happened, “Fuckin’ Jean. Anyway, I called because I want to become the new research patient. I think that if they use me then they will be able to figure out what happened and perhaps even advance this the way Levi wanted and maybe, just maybe, we can really help people.” Eren tried to sound enthused. He knew this wasn’t going to go over well with Armin. Armin glanced his way, “It doesn’t matter, why would you tell me anything important when you’ve got Levi? I’m sure I would have been the last know.” Armin turned his body away from Eren’s. The fight had begun.

The roads were still bad, they had to take detour to MP. There were seasoned and devoted runners on the sidewalks and a few employees preparing for the return of students tomorrow. Mostly everyone was at home, staying warm with loved ones and friends. Armin studied his own face in the passenger mirror, bruised still around his neck and visible even with a scarf, he knew that would be a point of focus for all in his classes. If he was being honest, he just didn’t want to continue the conversation with Eren and was trying to actively think about other things.

Eren turned off the radio that had been playing, not very loudly, in the car. The silence stretched between them like an ocean. Eren hated it when it got like this, “Arm,” he began, voice low like the rumble of thunder, “Don’t do that to me. Don’t be like this. I’m not the only one who’s at fault.” Armin didn’t look at him; he kept his face trained on the road before them. Inside Armin was welling up like a wound from a lash. Eren was his safety, he was his anchor, and he was leaving him behind. 

A symbolic leaving that tore them both to pieces. How long could things stay like this, living in the same house, seeing each other every day, the ability to find comfort in each other in the same place? They couldn’t, nothing gold can stay. It was clear that Eren and Levi would grow closer till one day Levi took Eren away from Armin. Erwin had already taken Armin from him, they were inseparable and he handled everything for them. There wasn’t a place for him with Erwin around. Eren felt his stomach tighten as shame washed over him. He didn’t hate Erwin, he hated that he wished he’d let him take care of Armin still. 

This isn’t healthy, this dream of staying together without being together. They were so close, too much for any others to handle. Lovers who weren’t lovers, friends who were closer than friends, perhaps they even hated each other a bit, resented one another for various reasons, but they knew they never wanted to be away from each other. When would this all come crashing down? Is it even acceptable for two people to know that they have an unhealthy relationship and just ask that others partake in it and accept it? Eren was willing to give it more time and see, whereas Armin had already started cutting him off to make it hurt less. Eren would leave. He would abandon him like he always feared he would.

They pulled up to Annie’s house still in silence. Mikasa opened the curtain before heading to the door. Eren got out, anything to get out of the car with its charged atmosphere. He felt like a dog that sensed a natural disaster was coming. He didn’t want to have this fight, not now, not today when Levi would also be angry with him. Mikasa’s face told him he wasn’t doing a good job hiding that he was upset. “Why do you look like that?” Her voice monotone, so much like Levi that it shocked him he hadn’t noticed before. He didn’t feel like lying to her, “Armin and I…we’re over due for a fight. I think we’re about to have it. May I have our things; I just don’t want to get into it here.” Mikasa ignored him looking at Armin who was still sitting in the car, jaw clenched, face blass and lip quivering. Mikasa sighed, “It’s funny, you know.” He looked at her, “What is?” She kept her eyes on Armin, “All these years, people have talked shit about me. They all talked about how I was too over protective, jealous, whatever else they wanted to use to describe my behavior. But, you know I was just covering up your shit. You two, you two are great when you’re great and you’re bad when you’re bad.” 

Her voice was tinged with a trace of bitterness. “Mika, I don’t know what to say.” Eren’s shoulders slumped. Her eyes flicked to his, they were hard but understanding, “You can’t be his boyfriend, best friend, and father. You each are dating other people now and it’s only natural that you two would eventually drift apart and have other people in your lives that take priority. I’m not sitting at that house with you hoping we could stay together forever. I’m staying with my girlfriend, having a separate life with separate experiences, and I still love you and know you love me just as much regardless.” Eren knew what she said was true but it didn’t make things any better. It just never applied to them, what was good for others. 

He pressed, “Are you mad at us?” Mikasa shook her head, “No, I just want you two to be okay and be happy. I think that you both need to prepare for when you’re not living in the same house or city. You both need to let Erwin and Levi in and invest in the two men that are crazy about y’all and treat y’all the way y’all deserve to be treated.” Mikasa opened her arms for Eren to hug her goodbye as she waved to Armin, who managed a pitiful one in response. Eren held the bags of clothes and supplies in his arms, they felt heavy and his stomach ached. A world without Armin near wasn’t one he wanted to be in.

They drove back to the house in the same silence as Armin picked at the skin around his nails, an old habit, a signal that Eren would need to keep a close eye on him. It would have normally caused him to take Armin into his arms and comfort him but that wasn’t acceptable anymore with Erwin being the one whose domain that feel under. Regardless, a childhood of watching your best friend be beaten up, sometimes brutally, would make anyone feel helpless and want to be their protector. Armin and Eren had been through so much together but Eren was never treated like Armin. He was never taunted, bullied, and abused like he was by other kids. Eren’s mind went to a dark place, _When he had almost…,_ no he couldn’t think about that right now, he just needed to get them home so they could fight it out and then, hopefully, make up like always, return to a state of homeostasis until the next time. 

They pulled up to the house getting out quickly and rushing to the front door. It was too cold to linger but the lock wanted to stick. “Let me do it.” Armin’s voice was harsh; he took the key, whittling it in the door, putting his shoulder against it to force it open. Once inside Eren and Armin put their things away. Eren prepared himself for what was to come, taking off his jacket and boots. Donner’s dog bed had been straightened up and he noticed that his pile of clothes had been folded. There was a small note on top of the pile, _”Eren, you are a filthy pig. Donner is even ashamed.”_ Eren smiled as he read the note, admiring the beautiful script that was Levi’s handwriting. He loved him, he really did. He was in love with Levi and if he were to ask of Eren what Eren wanted to ask of him, he’d be jealous and angry. It was selfish to ask that he work his life around Eren in such a way that it always included Armin. Eren pondered the gravity of the situation for a good hour before he stood up walking out into the hall and passing an empty room. Armin must have gone downstairs. 

He found him curled up on the couch wrapped in a blanket. Erwin was nowhere to be seen and if he was home he’d be with Armin. Eren assumed they were alone and that here was as good a place as any to have this fight. “Armin, let’s talk about this.” Eren walked over to one of the accent chairs to the side of the couch, sitting down on the edge before pulling off his beanie and running his hands through his hair. “I don’t want to.” Armin’s voice was horse, a small gust of air, the words were small. “No, we need to. It’s…been a long time coming.” Armin wouldn’t meet his gaze. “Armin, please.” Eren’s voice was pleading, his internal gage told him he was steadily reaching the boiling point and they hadn’t even begun, “I should have told you. I should have told you a lot of things this semester. I thought that, I thought that we would be in the dorm together, single, focused on our studies and that we’d have things figured out before we ever got serious with anyone. You know that Levi and Erwin…that was just meant to be. But, people don’t get it. They don’t get how much I love you and the way I love you. Or how much you love me and- .” Armin’s head jerked to the side, his eyes were cold, rimmed red from tears, when he spoke it was a hiss, a curse, “I. Hate. You. I hate you. I hate you so much, Eren Jaeger. If I had known that I’d get this close to you only for you to also abandon me then I’d have rather never been close to you in the first place. You don’t love me, I’m a crutch. I’m just a place holder and a project. I am nothing and I hate you for making me feel…for making me ever feel anything for you in the first place.” His words wounded Eren and he knew it. Eren’s jaw tightened as he clenched his teeth, “Take it back. Take it fucking back.” Armin remained defiant, “I loathe you, Eren Jaeger. I wish I’d never met you and you wish that too. I’m just your weak ass childhood friend you outgrew.” Eren stood up enraged and screaming, “YOU ARE POISON.” Armin raised his chin, “Is that so?” his tone self-deprecating and body language taunting. Eren’s fists clenched, “Yes, yes you are,” Armin hissed in response. Eren’s voice was low, seething with too many conflicting emotions, “You are poison straight from the viper’s mouth and yet you are also the finest wine that has left a stain on my soul. I am stained, you are a stain on the fabric of my life and I cannot imagine what I ever did to deserve such sweet suffering but I do not wish to hear you say you’d have rather we never have met because that is an abomination to us. I want you forever. I always accepted you’d be with me forever.” 

Armin smiled bitterly, “You’re such an idiot. You have Levi now to stain you. He’s a lot better than me, not weak and needy. He handles everything for you and for himself. You’re tired of me and you’re going to leave. Admit it, Eren. We know it’s true.” Eren wrung his hands, “What is wrong with you? I’m here; I’m not going anywhere.” Armin shrugged, “You don’t tell me anything anymore, disappear every week out of the city and you won’t tell me why. You keep secrets that you would have never kept before and you cancel on me when I try to make time for us to just be together like the old days. When was the last time we went to a coffee shop and just read together and talked?” Armin gripped his hair, “Why did you sign up to be a test subject, Eren? Huh!? You could die! You have no idea what Hanji or Levi might need to do to test you and you just offered yourself up like a sacrificial lamb!” Eren reeled, “I want to help!” Armin shuddered, face contorted in anger, “You didn’t tell me! You didn’t say a word! Instead, I find out from Jean! I have never not told you something, never!” Eren grabbed the chair pulling it forward, it drug against the wood screeching and scratching it, “I didn’t tell you because I knew it would upset you. I didn’t tell Levi either, but I mean, what the fuck does that even matter? I don’t expect you to tell me shit now that Erwin is in the picture and you’ve done a damn good job of leaving me out, too! You’re seriously going to leave the fuckin’ country for more than a month?! We’ve never been apart for more than that. What happens if he wants you to move somewhere, too? I don’t expect you to say no!” Armin stood up moving forward, “That’s shit, total shit. You were pissed off when I started seeing Erwin and you didn’t want me to share anything with you, not really. I’ve kept things to myself because you made it clear you didn’t want to hear.” Eren scoffed, “Whatever, I was just worried you’d picked another shitty guy who wanted to take advantage of you.” Armin reeled, “I picked you once. What’s that say about you?” 

Eren threw the chair, breaking it as Armin moved back towards the couch. “Just say it Eren, it bothers you. It bothers me, too. You know we’re not like that, you know it wouldn’t work, but you don’t want to walk away.” Armin’s eyes were still cold. Eren hissed, “Do you want to walk away?” Armin shrugged, “I feel like you’ve already decided that there isn’t any other option. Mikasa made a fair point.” Eren laughed but it was ironic and hollow, “Yeah, she did. She always does but she’s not in this like we are.” Eren sat in the other chair, “You’re the only one who knows how much I hate people, what they do that ticks me off. You know the good, the bad, and all the ugly parts of me I want no one else to see. I don’t know how you love someone like me. I’m terrified Levi is going to see something, an old piece of who I was before and he’s going see the monster I really am and leave me and that would kill me because I just want him to be it. I want Levi to see only the good parts.” Eren pulled at his hair, eyes blood shot from fighting back tears. 

Armin paced around the room, his voice was compassionate, “I think he’d understand, Eren. I think he already knows that there are ugly parts about you but he doesn’t care. What would Erwin think if he knew all that you know about me? I’m such a manipulative person and so completely selfish. I am so fearfully scared that everyone is going to abandon me and so weak for demanding that I keep both you and Erwin.” Eren turned to meet his gaze, “That makes two of us. How weak is it to never want to be away from my childhood best friend? Hell, it’s selfish, sick even. Our relationship isn’t normal. It never has been. Jean’s the only normal relationship in our life and he’s even been fucked up due to our weird dynamic. I can’t be your hero anymore, that’s not my role. I don’t understand what my role is and that scares me.” 

Armin sat on the arm of the couch, “Your role in my life will always be the one you’ve played. You are my best friend, my brother. I love you, but I’m not in love with you not like that. But, that doesn’t mean I’m going to let go of you. I don’t want to be away in a different state, different country and know that I probably won’t see you for months or years and possibly never again because we’re supposed to just drift apart. I don’t accept that. I won’t accept that. I can’t be a good person, a whole person without you. When I thought you died…” Armin started sobbing, his face flushed as he doubled over, breath coming in shallow and erratically, “I thought, I thought, why not me? I love Erwin and everyone else but if you died then what? I could never be who he or anyone deserved because a piece of me would have died. You were the only reason I was able to carry on after what happened. I can’t function without you, Eren.” He started coughing and crying more as Eren held his head in both hands.

Eren started whining helplessly, pitch increasing as he became overwhelmed, “Never say you wish you had died, Armin. Never,” he started breaking down, “Never, I fought too hard for you wish you’d died. I’m sorry, please forgive me. Without you, I’d just…go off into the woods, off the grid and live like some recluse. I wouldn’t be good enough for Levi or anyone.” Armin shook, sobs giving way to hiccups and a migraine, “Is it worth risking pushing away the two people we love by insisting that we always stay together, like a package deal? That’s weird, too weird, right? I mean, they bought a house together but they can’t honestly think that we’d all just stay here forever, raise some kids together like a damn commune in the 60s. Erwin said that they would always stay close but what does that even mean? I know they were planning on what was best for them without adding in complications like two freshmen who may or may not stick around when they bought the house. But Erwin said it was an investment that was too good to pass by and that’s true. Look at this place.” Armin’s hands clenched. “I want to stick around. I want this to be it. I want to live here with you and Levi and Erwin. I’m invested.” Armin sniffled as he wiped his tear streaked cheeks. Eren hummed, “I want to stick around to, but we need to find a way to tell them that we….we’re a package deal. We won’t be separated.”

Armin and Eren sat in silence. It was out, an admission that was selfish but true. They wanted to remain a pair and they wouldn’t compromise that. If it meant losing what they had then that was fine because ultimately, they needed each other to survive. They paused letting the words all sink in before Armin continued, “I still hate you sometimes. I hate you and it hurts me to do so. I really resent the way you grew up in comparison to me. Even now, your parents coming down all concerned and Mikasa, she was nearly sedated the entire time; I didn’t have that. My opa came, but my parents haven’t even sent an email or anything and they were home, Eren. They were home and they didn’t even drive down, call, text, nothing.” Armin’s voice was hurt, he drew in a ragged breath. “I just really hate you sometimes.” Eren sobbed, “No, nooooo Armin, please” falling on his knees, his face red and eyes pleading, “please stop saying that. It kills me.” 

The front door slammed and the pitter patter of Donner’s nails could be heard on the wood floor. In no time he was beside Eren licking his face and nuzzling him with his large head. Armin covered his face with his hand, too tired to do much else and just exhausted by what was about to unfold. The questions, the stares, the bullshit fall out that resulted when people came in at the wrong time at the wrong place in a personal conversation. He didn’t have time for back story justifications. He just wanted to disappear. “Brat, why are you crying?” Levi stood at the hallway entrance, large brown paper bag in his arms full of something, maybe papers, and his coat covered in a light dusting of melting flurries. The expression that painted his face was stunned and a little angry. “Who broke that chair? What the fuck is going on? Armin-“Another set of footsteps from the kitchen, “Levi leave them alone.” Erwin voice was stern and left no room for arguing. 

A white hot flash of nausea overcame both of them, _Where had he come from? What did he hear?_ Eren wiped his face as Armin pulled his hand down to cover his mouth. The room was thick with tension. Levi reluctantly turned towards Erwin, eyes still wide taking in the scene before him. “Levi!” Erwin snapped still unseen. Levi turned on his heel walking to the other door and disappearing through it into the kitchen. Donner stayed by Eren who proceeded to bend over down on the floor clutching his stomach, a stifled scream giving way to sobs. _This was it, this was how everything ended, how everything blew up. How could they fix this? So much could have been taken out of context so much misconstrued._ Armin moved to get off the couch, shaking and almost collapsing. Eren watched him, face on the rug, he opened his mouth, the words were angry, “You had to do this today. You always have to do this.” Armin’s lip trembled. That was low, too low for Eren. He had started this fight just as often. Armin shrugged, “Should have let me die. Then I wouldn’t keep bringing it up.” Armin’s pale skin was flushed pink all over, he looked ill, he hated fighting with Eren and he hated how nasty they got with one another.

Eren didn’t know if it was simply because Armin rarely went there, went to that place where he was like this, so frustrating, or if it was because the anniversary of that day was close but he couldn’t help but disregard that there were others present when Armin made that comment. Of course, had he been thinking rationally about the recent events and how everyone had willfully thrown themselves head first into “moving on” and actively trying to forget that they’d all almost died in their sleep and or worse then he might have let it go, chopped it up to some psychological explanation by Freud or Jung or even Nietzsche that Armin was shaken mentally and this was his way of surviving, burning bridges preemptively in order to save what he could and stop any further more damaging pain from ensuing but he didn’t think any of those things. Instead, he just gave in to the venom that was already in his mouth ready to spit, “Which time? There have been plenty. Forgive me if half my youth wasn’t spent trying to keep you from fucking giving up.” Armin flushed red, “Wow. Well, you can’t possibly have anything further to say to me. I’ll be upstairs.” With that, Armin turned to leave up the stairs fighting the raging heat that threatened to consume him, the shame, the guilt, the fear, and the urge to hurt himself that he’d fought so fiercely only just a short time ago. He didn’t know if he could resist this time.

Armin sat in silence in the room looking at Erwin’s change of clothes he never put on. He must have woke up before Armin, went to the shared office, not his study which Armin would have passed and seen him at the desk with the fire roaring that morning when they passed, to do some paper work and that's why he was in the house when they had their fight. His head hurt so much he climbed in bed, hugging the comforter around him, burying himself in the sheets. He hugged Erwin’s pillow smelling his cologne and preparing himself for the inevitable. He drifted off, coming to when a hand smoothed his brow, softy, lovingly. He opened his eyes to the dimly lit room, curtains shut and the time of day fully obscured. Erwin’s fist was clenched. Armin began to panic before he opened his closed fist revealing two pills, “Take this for your head and here, drink some water." He produced a large glass of water. Armin noticed he wasn't upset, but rather concerned about Armin's comfort. He wrinkled his nose sitting up enough to take the pills and drink a good deal of the large glass before collapsing back down, completely drained. 

Erwin moved his pillow back to its spot before climbing in with him. Armin's eyes stung, his body felt incredibly heavy. Why was Erwin being so nice to him after what he must have over heard? Erwin’s strong arms wrapped around beneath Armin's shoulders, pulling him up to lay on his chest as Erwin turned on the TV, back propped up on one of the euro pillows that they often used while reading in bed. He had been watching a lot of documentaries on the Middle East lately. Armin had added _The Honorable Woman_ because he had wanted to watch it with him but for some reason Erwin refused to watch it. He had hoped to ask Eren but that had led to the realization that Eren and he no longer made time to do anything together; whether it was get coffee or watch a show or any of what they had normally done. He felt lost without his routine with him, lost without the familiar comfort of him always being near. Instead, they'd just blatantly ignored and pushed off this conversation, prolonging it till they were both too raw and too sensitive to think reasonably and all they succeeded in doing was wounding each other, the two men they loved, and instead arrived at the conclusion that they were unhealthy and wanted to stay unhealthy together. At least that was something.

Erwin rubbed Armin's back as he clutched the fabric of Erwin’s shirt. The narrator's voice was soothing, speech articulated; not unlike Erwin’s own, Armin thought. He snuggled closer to his chest, legs moving ever so slightly as one foot rubbed up and down a small section of Erwin’s exposed calve in a comforting manner. He closed his eyes but everything he saw was a porch covered in blood, smoke from fire, Jeeter pointing a gun at Jean, the doctor telling them Eren was going to die, Marco's missing half of his body that he couldn't get over. It haunted him; he'd even heard Jean in the shower crying one day mumbling about it. That was something he'd never forget. He'd never forgave himself for what hell he'd put Eren and Jean through the few times he'd been in rough shape but Marco, he had been a victim of such a horrible crime and Armin just wished he'd be able to forget that scorched body and the smell of burned flesh and replace it with the smiling lovable person he saw every day now doting on Jean and being an all around astonishing human being. 

Erwin sighed, stretching his neck and closing his eyes for a few brief moments. Armin looked up through his lashes at the Adonis before him. Erwin was so sturdy but not uncomfortable. He felt warm, protected from all the horrors of the world around him. Better yet was the feeling of being grounded by the weight of his arm rubbing along his back. He could smell his cologne, the fire place, and that underlying scent that was uniquely his own that made Armin's hips twitch in delight. Armin could also smell traces of himself, the body wash he preferred, his fabric softer when he did their clothes, and it made him so happy.

The documentary ended and Erwin cleared his throat. He pulled Armin more fully on top of him, using both hands now to rub his back and sides. Erwin hummed, "Armin?" His tone was light, curious, "Are you in love with me?" Armin's eyes closed, the stinging aching sensation returned as the light from the screen illuminated the darkened room. Armin's voice was muffled through the fabric of Erwin’s shirt but he spoke loudly and true, "I am most definitely in love with you. I don't want anyone else that way." Erwin’s head rested with a slight thud against the bed frame, "Okay, good. It's almost time for dinner; you should eat something to help with your headache. I think Levi said he was making something like a soup or stew so that should be perfect. I figured we'd stay the night in the house and drive to school tomorrow. Jean and Marco are going to stay in the dorm and they will act as RAs till we get there." He pulled the sheet of his side of the bed up but Armin didn’t move. Instead, he whispered the only question he'd been dying to ask since Erwin appeared, "Why aren’t you mad?" Erwin’s face revealed nothing, "Because I understand and right now isn't the time to get into anything, not after all of that and how drained you are. I'm not mad and if you're in love with me, if you only want me like that, then that's all I need to know. I can wait for the rest." He paused long enough for Armin to notice before continuing in a hushed tone, "As long as it takes." Armin looked up to see Erwin studying him intently, scrutinizing him like a possible source for his papers. They both held their breath as they began to use their wonderfully dangerous minds to try and figure each other out. Another game had begun between them.

True to his word, Levi was in the kitchen cooking while Eren sat at the table waiting for him to say something, anything at all to him. Levi had come into the living room after few minutes of Armin leaving to pick up the pieces of the broken chair. He didn't mumble anything under his breath, didn't speak to Eren really, and instead went to throw the pieces away outside. When he returned Eren was still on the floor where he had fallen before Armin had left. Levi picked him up and brought him upstairs to his study, sitting him down on the futon Eren added to the room after falling asleep on the rug too many times. Levi sat down and started going over the paper work in the brown bag while Eren closed his eyes and fell asleep. He awoke to Levi’s hand rubbing soothing circles on his back, arm looped around his waist, lips pressed against his neck while he cooed softly, asking for Eren to calm down. He'd been talking in his sleep, reliving the argument more than likely and Levi had laid down next to him to soothe him into getting more sleep but that just wasn't in the cards for Eren. For soon, he was following Levi down the stairs like a lost puppy into the kitchen. He sat down starring at the wood grain in the table. Levi flipped threw his box of recipes before settling on one. Eren asked if he needed help with cutting the vegetables and Levi reluctantly allowed him to help. After the carrots were finished Levi came over to get them, leaning down and kissing Eren fully on the lips. They held the kiss for a while. It was meant to be reassuring and it was for the most part.

When Levi pulled back Eren grabbed his hand. "I'm sorry" his voice was broken, tiny and plaintive, "Levi." Eren watched as an array of emotions passed over Levi’s eyes, "Don't be. Unfortunately, I understand." Eren was confused but accepted it and let his words comfort him. "Levi" was all he managed to mumble as Levi turned to the pot and turned on the sound system for the room.

__  
“Baby, you understand me now?  
If sometimes you see that I'm mad  
Don't you know, no one alive can always be an angel?  
When everything goes wrong, you see some bad  
But I'm just a soul whose intentions are good  
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood”

Eren listened to the sound of Lana del Rey’s bourbon colored voice as Levi ladled out four bowls of soup before setting the pot on a lot simmer. Donner had already ate his snacks and was lounging by Eren’s feet, tail thudding as Erwin and Armin walked into the room. Armin’s face was listless and drained. He must have a headache, Eren thought as he watch Erwin slid him in to the booth before heading to the fridge. “I moved your beer to the other one.” Erwin paused looking at Levi, “Oh, was it in the wrong one?” Levi’s eyes cut over, “Yes…everything was.” His tone was darker than normal, Eren’s ears perked up. “Oh, I’m terribly sorry about that Levi. Hopefully, that won’t happen again” was Erwin’s sickeningly sweet reply. His smile was off, Armin noticed with a hint of confusion as he shot a glance to Eren who looked equally at a loss and shrugged. Levi slid his bowl across the counter to him, “Let’s hope so.” The two stood a few seconds longer just starting at each other. 

__  
"You know sometimes, baby, I'm so carefree  
With a joy that's hard to hide  
And then sometimes, again, it seems that all I have is worry  
And then you're bound to see my other side  
But I'm just a soul whose intentions are good  
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood  
If I seem edgy  
I want you to know  
I never meant to take it out on all you  
Life has its problems  
And I get more than my share  
But that's one thing I never mean to do"

Levi and Erwin slid in the booth alongside the two boys. Everything Levi cooked was five stars in Eren and Armin’s opinion. Tonight was no different as they tore into the meal. All day they had been too busy fighting to eat and Armin felt his headache improve as he swallowed each bite of stew. Levi’s leg bounced on the floor, a nervous tick that Eren had never seen. Erwin’s normally good humored conversation was absent as well, making an already tense situation much tenser. Eren and Armin cast another glance at each other. Something was off, something they didn’t understand. Armin finished his bowl. “Levi, would it be alright if I took some of this with me for lunch tomorrow? I don’t have a lunch break on my Tuesday-Thursday classes.” Levi nodded, “Of course, I have a thermos you can take it in if you don’t have one.” Silence returned. Armin had tried and Eren secretly thanked him but to him, this was obviously about their fight and both men were angry with them.

Eren finished his soup shortly after and Levi reached over to take it. Eren stopped him, grabbing his wrist before he could even really think about what he was doing. Armin held his breath as Eren’s eyes widened. He knew Eren didn’t mean to do that and he was also about to just vomit words, words that could get them in more trouble. Levi’s face was hurt, “You don’t want anymore? You always…want more. Was it bad?” Eren turned to Levi and his brain just shut down, mouth opening to expel the first words it could, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I signed up to be the research patient.” Erwin dropped his spoon in the bowl jarring Armin and making him jump. Levi’s face scrunched up and then when he understood what Eren had said he became livid, “YOU DID WHAT?!” Levi dropped everything squaring off his shoulders with Eren.

Eren’s eyes could not have gotten any wider but they appeared to have done that from where Armin was sitting, Eren’s voice was small and sounded like child who’d been caught after the fact, “That’s what Hanji wanted to talk to you about. They were supposed to tell you that today…and then everything else happened. Please, please don’t be angry.” Levi was blood red, “Fucking shitty ass mother fucking glasses didn’t tell me that today. You,” He pointed at Eren, “should have been the ONLY one who told me that. No them, not anyone else. What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you have any idea the shit we will need to do to you? No, Eren, NO! I refuse to hurt you!” Levi went behind the counter bending down and slamming the thermos down he found on the counter. He turned, turning the pot off, before he turned the oven light off. 

Levi walked off towards the foyer but he stopped abruptly, turning on his heel to face Erwin who’d continued to stare at his empty bowl of stew, “YOU.” Levi’s voice was more emotional than Eren had ever heard it, other than when he was dying at the foot of those stairs he was about to take. “You, you fucking knew. Didn’t you?” Erwin’s shoulders tensed, his head turned, “I did.” Levi looked like he could kill him right there. Armin moved away ever so slightly towards the corner of the booth. Eren was still so shocked his mouth hung open as he watched how intensely Levi glared at Erwin. “You should have told me.” Erwin stood up, “You’re the one who started keeping secrets.” Erwin’s voice stung. Armin and Eren were incredibly stressed as both men looked ready to pull each other’s jugulars out. Armin’s headache was back and Eren tried to think of ways to make this somewhat better. “Levi, do you-“ Whatever Eren was going to say died on his tongue when he shot him an equally harsh glare, “It’s not about you. This is between Erwin and I. I’m fucking pissed off, Eren, don’t think that isn’t true. But you two aren’t the only ones who are going to have it out today.” Armin nearly successfully wedged himself in the crease of the booth at that statement.

Erwin turned to Eren, “HA!” Erwin’s eyes were malevolent as he turned on his heel towards Eren, “I’m sure that this won’t come as a surprise to you,” Levi moved forward, “Don’t you dare” Erwin continued despite the warming, “But, Levi has been offered a fellowship in France for a year and will be leaving.” Levi grabbed Erwin’s shirt, both hands fisting at the material, pushing him back against the island. Erwin’s hands went to his wrists, he brought his knee up, pushing it against the inside of Levi’s thigh as Levi pressed down, teeth barred, “You bastard!” Levi freed one wrist, rearing back before throwing his fist. It met Erwin’s jaw as the knee he had pressed to Levi’s thigh moved up to his hip bone with an intense amount of pressure causing Levi to double over slightly but long enough for Erwin to return the blow. Levi moved, grabbing Erwin’s waist and using his low center of gravity to knock him off balance. Erwin’s arms found his shoulders, sliding around like a vice. Levi managed to throw Erwin on the floor before Erwin kicked his leg out from under him causing him to fall and join him, each pounding on one another regardless of their position.

Eren moved behind Levi as Armin came from the side, each getting hit in the process but neither cared. They needed to separate their lovers and get some answers or at least calm things down. Eren had Levi off of Erwin but he had to wrap his arms and legs around him like an octopus in order to not be thrown off and allow him to go back to Erwin. Armin had jumped on Erwin once Levi was gone. Erwin sat up as Armin straddled his waist pulling his face to his pleading with him to calm down.

Both men calmed down as Eren and Armin worked them. When Armin thought there wouldn’t be another explosion he suggested they all move to the sitting room and talk. Levi said there was nothing to talk about but Eren pleaded with him and he relented. In the sitting room Levi and Erwin glared at each other and Armin and Eren found themselves awkwardly working together just mere hours after they had said horrible things to one another. Erwin’s diplomatic voice broke them out of their revelation. “Well, are we just going to sit and stare at each other?” Levi didn’t move, blink, breath, anything. It was like he had turned to stone. Another tense moment passed before he cleared his throat, “I didn’t tell anyone about France because I don’t know if I’m going.” Eren’s stomach clenched, Levi was thinking about leaving for a whole year, “What is the offer?” Levi sighed, “A yearlong fellowship at _Pierre and Marie Curie University_. My research was nominated by an advisor of the medical school here at the university and I do not know if I will take it or not.” Erwin’s eyes narrowed, “But you have to decide by the end of this week, Sunday. That’s four days. The fellowship will begin as soon as your classes finish this May. We wouldn’t even have been living in this house full time yet and you’d be leaving Eren only eight months in to your relationship. You’re cruel.” Levi’s neck twitched, growing red again, he bit out, “I was weighing the pros and cons.”  
Erwin countered, “You didn’t tell me. ME, Levi. You didn’t tell me.”  
”We had just closed on the house.”  
”Did you tell Eren?”  
”No! I didn’t and you know I wouldn’t have in September. I was happy, too happy. I thought he’d…”  
”Leave?”  
”Yeah. I didn’t want to lose him.”  
”But, then you found out he was invested and you still-“  
”I told no one but Hanji and that’s because they were the point of contact. They found out after receiving my acceptation letter. They’ve just been-”  
”Hanji knew but not me, Levi.”  
”I never thought I’d be accepted and It’s not like I purposely,”  
”I have always told you EVERYTHING.  
”I WAS ON THE FENCE!”  
Erwin’s words were spiteful; “A fence is a fine place to rest but let me remind you that a fence will eventually turn into a spike.”

Erwin’s fingers fisted at the material of his pants as Levi’s eyes became hard, “We got the house, we met them,” Levi motioned to Eren and Armin, “things changed and I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to leave you, Erwin. But then I started thinking about it, you and Armin were so happy too, if I had to then at least you’d be with Armin and you two could look after Eren for me.” Erwin grabbed a throw pillow, squeezing it, his voice was hoarse, a loud whisper, “We promised. We said we’d never live apart. A month or even two months, that’s fine. But you remember what it was like after we got back, when I was here and you were in New York it didn’t work. We hated it, couldn’t cope and everyone around us knew it.” Levi’s eyes watered, “But now we have them.” His voice was so small, Armin and Eren’s heart hurt for them. They understood the feeling. 

Levi’s eyes were blood shot, he looked at Eren. Eren met his gaze shyly; it looked like Levi was staring into his soul. Erwin shook his head, “But they didn’t sign up for this. They didn’t sign up for a dysfunctional relationship like this. We tell them, we tell them now and then we move on from there.” Erwin grasped Armin’s hand tightly before sighing and continuing, “I don’t want you to go, Levi. I don’t care how selfish that sounds; I am a selfish man. I don’t want you to leave and I don’t want to keep secrets from them. Not after what I heard today.” He released Armin’s hand before crossing his arms. 

Armin reached over. Gently touching Erwin’s arm as he was shook. Levi covered his mouth with his hand. He removed his hand turning to Eren and then finding a place on the floor to stare at. He opened his mouth and in a blunt and desperate manner he quickly managed out words that took Armin and Eren quite a while to understand as if syntax has been destroyed, “Erwin and I were taken hostage in Gaza. We were held for almost seven months in horrible conditions. His arm and my leg were injured before we were captured and I had to perform surgery on both of us, after being nearly mutilated by rushed and unskilled doctors, in our cell with just my first aid kit that I managed to smuggle in. That’s why we were officially discharged, injury. But really, it was just a cover up for negligence. We were given bad information, our gear was damaged and flawed, our points of contact were actually undercover operatives that hadn’t been properly cleared, the list literally goes on for pages. We lost everyone, 57 in total and we were all that was left alive lying under the rubble after a warehouse explosion. I lost two of my closest friends from back home. They were in the gang I ran in New York and they only entered to follow me. They were only 18.”

Both Eren and Armin were speechless. Erwin decided to continue, “Levi saved my life.” Levi interjected, “No, Erwin saved mine. I owe Erwin everything. He gave me a chance, taught me how to be a person again after how I’d grown up and I learned to trust him implicitly.” Erwin smiled slightly, “But Levi really did save my life more times than I can count. We lived in a cell for months being tortured, abused, starved, sexually assaulted, and more. He helped me fight, he helped me not give up hope, saved my mind from rotting in that environment, he’s the reason we got out. I can’t rest without him near me. I can’t imagine being apart from Levi. When I heard you two fighting I was stunned because I understood what you were fighting about. It’s the same fight we’ve had over and over for these last three years and even in some way before the hostage situation. Even in training we were inseparable, a team. He’s my brother, my comrade, my anchor when I’m out on treacherous waters. I wouldn’t be the person you need, Armin, without him.” Armin smiled weakly, overcome with emotion, “So, that’s what you meant.” Erwin nodded before turning to face him, “If y’all want to leave, we won’t blame you. You didn’t sign up for this. I’m never going to leave Levi, never going to live apart from him, never going to give up on our friendship.” 

Eren sat up, he burst into laughter, “After everything you heard you’re telling us we can leave? We’re in the same situation, Erwin. It’s y’all we were worried about telling us to get the hell out. We didn’t think there was any way you or anyone else would ever understand this…need.” Levi had missed the conversation, his eyes flicked between Armin and Eren, wheels turning. Erwin ran his hands through his hair, "We met y'all it was like our worlds suddenly became brighter but also more complicated. We had a plan for how we were going to live our lives, I’m sure that’s what y’all had yet to create but after today you were on that same track. Our plan, well: We would buy a house, live together, date others, eventually we'd adopt and raise children together, and live out our days as best friends and co-parents. Finding one night stands and such wouldn't be hard. We never thought we'd find two people who we both liked or who wanted to get involved with us like that. The jealousy would be insane if they were not secure with themselves or the relationship between Levi and I. Most people would assume a poly-amorous relationship would be ideal but we don't want our partners to have a separate intimate relationship with the other one. We would be open to sex together, in the same room, but I honestly wouldn't be able to stand it if Levi was sleeping with my partner. It's weird, complicated, emotional, and too much to ask of people. The plan made it simple and manageable. And then you two came along and our plan just got derailed a bit and then strained. We started spending all of our time with y'all, which we both enjoy doing, but we never talked about the important things in our immediate future and we neglected each other, sounded like you two were doing the same thing. How interesting is it that we’d all end up like this?” Erwin mused as leaned back into the couch and Armin shuffled closer.

Levi’s brow furrowed, “I’m out of the loop. Are you saying you have a similar relationship with Armin?” His eyes pierced through Eren, “Uh well, yeah.” Levi’s face was unreadable, “You knew?” Erwin held his hands up, “I heard them in the living room. I didn’t have time to break it all down to you so I just told you they were fighting.” Levi still looked suspicious, “You didn’t tell me because the fight was too similar to ours.” Erwin shrugged, “Perhaps. I was still angry after finding out that morning you were still considering the offer.” Levi’s leg bounced, “You opened my email, Erwin. You crossed the line.” Erwin looked unapologetic, “It wouldn’t have come to that if you had just been honest. Do you think I don’t know when you’re hiding something from me? I’m sorry, it was wrong. But, I don’t regret it.” 

Eren fidgeted with the tassel of one of the throws before Armin’s sweet voice cut through the thick atmosphere, “But, this is kind of humorous. We were all worried about the same thing and it turns out that we don’t have to be. We can just keep being like we were; actually we can be even closer. I don’t have to worry about crawling into bed with Eren and what that could mean to Levi and his relationship and vice versa. Actually, this is the best possible situation we could have ever found ourselves in.” Eren smiled, enthused, “Yeah, talk about luck. I’ve been so worried about over stepping my boundaries and pissing Erwin off that I’ve not been able to relax.” Erwin frowned, “I’m sorry, Eren. If it’s any consolation, I’ve felt the same way.” Erwin attempted a smile. Levi continued to soak it all in. _This could work, we could do this with them._

Levi cleared his throat, “Why are you two so close? I missed the fight.” Armin’s mouth formed a thin line as he looked to Eren for guidance. Eren studied the floor like it was the best thing he’d ever seen until Armin said his name. He perked up, “Do you wanna talk about it?” Armin shrugged, “They’ve told us their story. We should do this and do it right. That starts with being honest.” Armin sat back into the couch, crossing his legs, before clutching one of the decorative soft satin pillows. Eren began, “Armin and I were always close, he lived with me, I was his protector. He accepted me even though I was severely socially inept. People liked me and I never understood why but I knew I was lucky because, humans are disgusting creatures. Animals kill because they are hungry or threatened. They cast out runts because they are too weak to live to adulthood. They have rules and they’re harsh but they make sense. Humans are the only species that kills for sport, bonds by picking on those weaker than them, and they are the most confusing emotionally. I’d see them be so nice to me, fight for my attention, include me in things that I didn’t want them to include me in like parties and prom. Then they would turn around and beat the shit out of Armin, make up rumors and play mean pranks on him. He was bullied viciously, relentlessly. I used to demand that we were kept in the same home room and classes to watch over him. We were in clubs together, not just because we wanted to be but because I could protect him and he could clue me in on social etiquette. I’ve come so far but there are still instances where someone will describe a feeling they have and I haven’t got a clue what they are talking about.” Eren looked over to Armin, “I’m rambling. Please, help me.” 

Armin clutched the pillow tighter, “Things got worse as we got older. I started self harming because I couldn’t cope with the issues with my parents, my living situation, and the kids at school. When I was 14 about to be 15 things started looking up. I started dating this guy who was a senior and on the football team. Jean and Eren were on the fence about him but he was the first person to take an interest in me other than them and in the beginning he was so nice to me. Turned out he was just dating me to take advantage of me and embarrass me by talking about me to his friends or exploiting me in school. He crossed the line a lot, sexually and Eren had to pick me up on the side of the road more than once. He broke up with me at a party, it was just…I don’t want to go into all the details of that but that night I tried to kill myself.”

Armin paused to look at Eren who only nodded and shut his eyes, “I found Armin in my basement, hanging from a rafter, electrical cord around his neck and he had clawed at his neck trying to keep it from killing him and I just couldn’t move fast enough. Somehow, I got him down, screaming for my dad who wasn’t home because he’d been called in to work. Armin was bloody from the deep scratches on his neck and was coming in and out of consciousness. I had to resuscitate him a few times. You can still see the scars sometimes when he’s really tan. I hate them because they stare at me, they remind me that I should have been there at home with Armin but I cared about getting my dick sucked by Jean more and left him alone. I cleaned Armin up best I could, called my mother and she brought us to my father’s office and stitched him up. It wasn’t the last time. His parents berated him about being gay every time they came home and there were other attempts. My father put him on anti depressants and mood stabilizers. Nothing did the trick till his grandfather moved in full time and his parents left for almost a year. It gave us time to heal. I almost lost my best friend. We’ve spent almost every day together since childhood and the longest we’ve been apart was a month when I went to Turkey for a funeral and it was torture.”

Erwin and Levi soaked it all in, obviously stunned that the sensible Armin, the one who climbed in a pool to hide in below freezing temperature and then shot a man point blank had had done such but everyone had their weak moments. “You think I’m weak, don’t you Erwin?” Armin’s voice was pitiful. Erwin moved, grabbing Armin towards him, “You? No, I don’t. I think you had weak moments, God knows I’ve had plenty. I mean I am a bit shocked. I can tell Levi is too after how hard you fought to live just two weeks ago. I’m sorry you went through all of that.” He kissed Armin’s temple wrapping his arms around him while Levi sat completely still chewing his lip. While Eren moved to make himself more comfortable.

They all sat in silence for a few long minutes until Levi stood up, “I have a long day tomorrow. I think it’s time we all went to bed.” Eren moved to get up, “Your right, we should finish this tomorrow.” Erwin cradled Armin bridal style as they all made their way to the stairs, Levi turned off the lights after putting the stew away and Eren waited by the foot of the steps for him. Eren took his hand in his as they went to their bedroom and through their normal routine. Eren snuggled down in the covers, listening to _Blues Kna’ani_ over the speaker system, trying to understand the words he was sure Levi knew by heart. When Levi joined him his body was cold, skin covered in goose bumps. Eren turned to face him, “Levi, where is your shirt? You’re freezing.” Levi’s hand came up to cradle the side of Eren’s face tenderly. “Why did they nominate me?” Eren’s brow furrowed, “For the award?” Levi’s eyes were searching, “Yes, why did they nominate me?” His voice was rough and it made Eren’s heart flutter.

Eren gave it some thought before answering, “Well, if I was Armin, I’d probably say it was a trap.” Levi moved closer, “And what does Eren think?” Eren moved, nibbling the tip of Levi’s thumb that rested by the corner of his mouth, “I’d say he’s probably right and if not, then you were nominated because you are the smartest most talented man in the world and you’re going to save lives. I’d also say maybe they sent a picture enclosed in the nomination and some French Madame or Monsieur got the hots for you.” Eren smiled wide while Levi traced the corner of his mouth with his thumb. “You’re beautiful, Eren. Everything about you,” Eren blushed as Levi leaned over and kissed him passionately before pulled away, whispering against his lips, “Is it true that you hate people?” Eren’s smile faltered, “Yeah, I have a lot of anger about the way people treat others. I don’t see the point in bullshitting someone, manipulating people for love or money or whatever end goal. I hate the cruel things we can do to one another and I have a really dangerous “justice” complex. I am an eye for an eye kind of guy.” Eren closed his eyes while Levi stroked the side of his face and hair. 

Levi held his breath. He’d wanted to ask Eren for so long about what Mikasa had told him. As if sensing it, Eren’s eyes fluttered open, emerald green like the lights of Tel Aviv, predatory, and they peered into the very depths of Levi, anchoring him down at the bottom of that lake where those countless arms had reached for him. “What do you want to ask me Levi?” His voice was fuller and lower than normal. Levi exhaled, “Is that why you, at eight, killed three men? Justice?” Levi’s body tightened waiting for his response. Eren simply closed his eyes snuggling closer to him, “Yes, someone had to do it.” Eren’s faced was contorted, lips pinched, nose wrinkled, corner of his eye tightened, “They were going to kill her and she was just sitting there. She had just given up. No one was going to stop them at that moment. They’d already killed two innocent people. They were animals to me. Animals that had gotten a taste of blood and they needed to be put down.” Levi continued to stroke his hair, “But, Mikasa said she helped you kill the third man?” Eren’s face became even more taunt, “I told her, “If you win, you live. If you lose, you die. If you don't fight, you can't win!” Levi stopped stroking his hair as Eren began to shake, “She told me something once, after Armin was hospitalized, He’d been beaten really bad by a group of that shitty boyfriend’s friends. She held my hand as we sat in the waiting room waiting on my mother to bring him back out, she said “This world is merciless, but it is also very beautiful.” Do you believe that Levi?” Levi pulled Eren into his arms, “I don’t know. I think she’s right. I think I’ve just been in a place where there wasn’t much beauty because you weren’t in it yet.” 

Eren kissed him softly, chastely, “If you have to go Levi, then go. I want you to do what is best for you. I’m not going anywhere and I’ll have Armin. I’ll manage.” Levi kissed him breathless; they rocked together betwixt the sheets before Eren fell asleep. Levi laid awake cuddling him and stroking his hair. It was almost dawn when he finally started to succumb to sleep. Before he drifted off he kissed his temple whispering, “I’ll go, Eren. But only for a while.”


	20. Prends-moi

The ride to campus the next morning was quiet as Erwin played soft classical music. Armin tried in vain to get more sleep. He was wrapped snuggly under Erwin’s jacket with the seat warmers on. He loved the cold, but better was the feeling of getting warm in the cold. His nose was red and a little runny. Erwin had pinched it, stating he probably had a cold and needed to get more vitamin C. Armin had bit at Erwin’s fingers, un-amused as Erwin laughed. He looked at Erwin’s strong hands as they deftly kept the wheel still as the ice had continued to become more dangerous over night. “It’s colder than normal.” Erwin mumbled making a turn onto a crowded road. Armin sneezed, “Global warming. “ Armin snuggled down into the seat, his breath forming a tiny cloud as it left his mouth.

Erwin had a personal parking space close to the Command Center as did Levi near the science labs on the other side of campus. Today Armin had a packed schedule and so did Erwin. He was once again going to be his TA, this time also by chance. Erwin swore he snooped finding out which classes he’d be in charge of, but that simply wasn’t the case. Their tastes were just too similar. Erwin gathered Armin in his arms when they were both out of the car. He kissed him on the forehead, “You’re sick. Go to the doctor. I’ll see you in Medieval Europe and then Middle Eastern II. After that I need to speak with president Zackley about some things.” Armin snuggled closer, “It’s just a cold. You can be my doctor.” Erwin chuckled as Armin snuggled closer, hands fisting into his thick sweater, “I have a shift at the book store after Middle Eastern till 6. Will you pick me up?” Erwin chuckled, “Yeah, baby. I’ll be there.” Armin kissed Erwin’s cheek; he didn’t want him catching his cold before he tried to run off with Erwin’s jacket. Erwin’s face lit up in feigned outrage, “Armin, I’ll freeze!” Armin reluctantly handed it back to him, “That’s cruel, daddy.” 

Eren had a lab that morning and afterwards he was going to meet with Hanji and go over how their research would continue. He had thought about asking Marco, but didn’t because he was scared about how Jean would react. It didn’t matter, as long as they had him they could proceed. He rode with Levi, hands locked together as Levi cursed the inclement weather. When they got in the parking lot Levi turned off the car, removed his seat belt and crawled over into Eren’s lap. 

Their lips moved against each other sloppily, teeth scraping against lips, panting for air as hands roamed. Levi ground down onto Eren’s lap causing him to cry out as his hands fisted in the undercut of his hair. Levi was dominating; he was everywhere and then nowhere. Eren was dazed as he felt the seat belt loosen and Levi’s lips move to his neck, sucking the skin. He felt his teeth tear into the soft skin of his neck dangerously close to his jugular. Eren whined as Levi continued to grind down on him. Levi’s hands pinned his arms down by his sides as he left more purple marks on his exposed skin.

They were parked away from the other cars but anyone could see them. Eren felt a surge of excitement. Levi was working him so well, he was whining and moaning, needy and desperate. As always, Levi was on the quieter side, only groaning occasionally and panting when he pulled away from Eren’s lips. Eren wanted more, he moved to tug at Levi’s tight black jeans before his wrists were grasped, “No, not here. Not right now, Eren.” Levi’s voice was aroused but it left no room for arguing. Eren whined, “Leeeeviiiiii, then why? Why do this to me here?” Levi smirked, “I want to ask you a question.” Eren’s head thudded as he let it fall back against the head rest, “Hmm?” Levi’s eyes narrowed, “Where do you go every week?” Eren’s face flushed, “I have to check in on a family friend in Montgomery for my dad.” He prayed Levi let it rest. Levi’s eyes narrowed, “Why?” Eren sighed internally, “He’s sick.” Levi seemed to mull it over as he shifted back to his seat. 

Eren’s little problem had disappeared and after feeling the cold air chill his face he was feeling confidant he’d not be in lab with a boner. Levi let Donner out of the back whose tail swished back and forth as he walked alongside them. Levi held Eren’s hand as they entered the lab. On the elevator Levi began questioning him again, “What does he have?” Eren tensed up, _Why can’t he let it go?_ Eren paused, “He’s old. It’s just old age and he has ailments. I go and visit him and he tells me stories and I make sure he’s okay. I learn and he gets to talk to someone.” Levi hummed, “Can I meet him?” Eren panicked, “N-no! He-e’s just set in his ways. He doesn’t like meeting new people and he knows me from when I was a kid. He’s kind of grumpy and mean, honestly. Nothing I’d subject you to.” Eren’s goofy smile made Levi’s heart flutter, “Really? ‘Cause I’m such a fucking ray of sunshine. I think I could handle him.” Eren rocked on his heels, “Compared to him you are a ray of sunshine. He doesn’t like meeting new people.” He lied through his teeth.

Levi left for his class as Eren went to his animal science lab. He found the material challenging but somewhat refreshing. He’d been focusing on Hanji’s research for so long that it showed in the questions he asked his professor. They were very pleased and even assigned him different questions to answer, much to Eren’s chagrin. The lab lasted the full two and a half hours and afterwards he went Hanji’s lab. Molbit was presently cleaning up Hanji’s desk when Eren entered, “Hanji’s in the bathroom. They’ll be out in just a sec.” Molbit smiled at Eren before returning to sorting the paperwork. Eren sat down at the empty rabbit enclosure. No need for them anymore. 

Hanji appeared looking ecstatic, “Eren, I’m so glad you’re here. Well, I mean…errr…this is a strange and delicate situation and you are a trooper for allowing me to use you as a test subject. Of course, there will be invasive procedures but we’ll try our best to plan them in advance so you’ll have time to recover. I am interested in seeing if numbing agents can work on you.” Eren’s stomach tightened, “Oh God, they may not.” Hanji nodded their head, “Yes, yes that’s a very likely scenario so let’s try that today. If you can’t stay numb or be put under general anesthesia then you’re going to have to start preparing yourself for being awake for those invasive procedures.” Eren’s started to sweat as Hanji reached for things in her desk.

They produced a needle, rolling over in their chair to where Eren sat. They cleaned the area between his pinky and ring finger with alcohol. “So, I see someone was busy in the parking lot.” Eren blushed, “What?” Hanji threw the swab away meeting their gaze as their hand held the area of skin tightly, “Levi marked the shit out of you.” The stab of the needle drew his focus, “Umm yeah.” Eren could feel his fingers go numb as Hanji rubbed the site of the injection. “Do you feel anything yet?” Eren shook his head. “Let me know when you feel something.” Hanji rubbed and twisted his fingers for almost 10 minutes before he felt anything. “Hmmm well, that’s good and bad. It should have stayed numb for about 45 minutes but at least that means we can use some sort of sedative on you. We just need to check on dose and take time into consideration before we start any procedure.” Eren wasn’t feeling too sure about his miraculous healing patterns when faced with the prospect of being awake while operated on.

After a few more hours of tests, Eren had been successfully pricked, prodded, X-rayed, countless vials of blood drawn, genome mapped or in the process of being mapped. He was worn out. Hanji had his hand tied to the table and kept numbing it as they made incisions. It was possible to do a sort of live viva section on him and this delighted Hanji. They recorded his skin as it came back together. It was in the middle of making a further incision that Levi appeared, “What the fuck are you doing Hanji!?” Hanji squealed in delight as blood started flowing faster in the veins. “I’M RESEARCHING. Come here Levi, you’re much better with a scalpel that I am.” Levi looked like he would get sick, “No, I refuse to cut him. I will not hurt Eren.” Hanji tch’ed, “Levi, he agreed and he’s been numbed. I’ve kept up with the time. Come and take a look at this. You’ll need this for France.” Eren’s eyes widened just a bit, “You accepted it?” Levi nodded, “But, I’m working on something with them.” Hanji sat back, “What do you mean?” Levi shrugged, “Don’t worry about it shit head and take that knife away from my Eren.” 

They went over the information Hanji had gathered so far and watched the videos. Levi’s head rested in his hand, elbow propped up on the table, “Brat?” Eren’s was drained, his eyes were heavy, “Yes, sir?” His stomach tightened every time Eren said sir. It drove him crazy and he knew it, _that little temptress shit._ Levi moved to stand over him as he lay on the couch, “How do you feel?” Eren felt like he weighed as much as a bag of stones, “I’m tired. I can’t explain. It must really take it out of my body, having to heal over and over again. I bet the worse off I am the longer it would take, like in the hospital. I just want to sleep.” Levi nodded grabbing his double breasted black pea coat and draping it over Eren. “Then take a nap.” Levi returned to studying Eren’s blood under the microscope.

Hanji chewed on their pencil, “You’re seriously thinking about not going to France?” Levi shrugged, “I asked to go only for the summer. It’d be three months.” Hanji sighed, “Levi, you’re passing up a great thing.” Levi moved away from his desk running his hands through his hair, “Hanji, I’m not going to get into this with you here. I’ll go for the summer semesters and if they won’t let me then I won’t go. I’ll continue to work here and we’ll publish this together, just like we planned. It isn’t fair that I take credit for this and you not be included.” Hanji removed their goggles and let their hair down. They always looked stunning like this, eyes bright, skin smooth and creamy like peach ice cream, and pouty lips. Levi had more than once pondered their indescribable beauty. “I didn’t make something that could save lives, Levi. I still get to publish my work with Sonny and Bean because I did discover a hot virus. I am set. I’m established, but this is for you. This is how your legacy begins. Don’t worry about me. Now, it’s time to go home. Take Eren to get something to eat and make sure he stays hydrated. His little love bites have disappeared so make some more but be sure to record your findings.” They raised and lowered their eyebrows suggestively as the leaned back in their chair, hand resting on their abdomen and a faint smile.

Eren woke up as he was being strapped in the car. “Where are we going?” Levi shut the door walking around to the other side. “We’re going to meet Erwin and Armin for dinner, go back to the house and get our things and then come back to the dorms.” Inside the car it became warm and Eren started feeling more like himself. “What if I don’t want to sleep in the dorm tonight?” Eren asked playfully. Levi turned out of the parking lot a lopsided grin on his face, “Well, we could stay the night at the house by ourselves. Erwin at least needs to go and officially relieve Jean and Marco. Got something planned?” His eye brow rose playfully. Eren chuckled, “Maybe.” Levi grinned, “I’ll be sure to make this work.”

Levi’s phone rang, normally he’d use his blue tooth but he instead answered it. Eren waited, hearing the other person’s muffled voice. Then Levi started speaking in French and Eren knew it was about the fellowship. He tried his best not to feel upset but the thought of Levi being away for a year really saddened him. Levi’s voice was smooth, polished, and sensual. Eren could listen to him speak in French forever. He was curious what his Hebrew sounded like since he’d only ever heard him say basic prayers for Shabbat. He went back and forth with the person for a while before hanging up. Eren reached over taking his hand, “Your voice is the most beautiful sound in the world.” Levi’s cheeks became pink, “At kol kakh yafa” _(you’re so beautiful)_ his words were mumbled under his breath but Eren heard them. He laughed, “Toda, Levi. Milim lo yekholot letaer et ha`ahava sheli elekha.” _(Words cannot describe my love for you)_ Levi’s breath caught in his chest, “Eren, how did you learn that?” Eren’s face flushed, “A movie…was it wrong?” Levi’s world was spinning, “No…no, it was correct. Just, well, unexpected.” Eren twiddled his thumbs. He wanted to change the subject. He felt like a child with its hand in the cookie jar.

;Luckily, they pulled up to the restaurant before Levi started questioning him further. The restaurant was upscale but once they entered it had a more relaxed atmosphere, brick walls, fire places, red patent leather booths, and dark wood table tops. Levi walked up checking in their party as Armin and Erwin appeared from the bar room. Armin had a Shirley Temple whereas Erwin had a pint of dark beer. Erwin smiled as they approached and Armin slipped over to stand with Eren who stole sips of his drink before the waitress took them to their seats. 

They were taken to a more private area and sat in a plush booth near the fire place. Armin and Eren sat together nearest the fire place. Both still very tired. Armin turned to Eren, “How was lab and…you know?” Eren told him all about the lab and his teacher’s sadistic kindness. The research was a little less detailed because he knew it made Levi upset but he didn’t want to have to tell Armin in stages, not after all that had happened recently. Levi ordered a beer while Erwin spoke about his classes he was in charge of. He also said that he’d had a meeting with Zackley and there was talk that once he graduated his Ph.D program he could become the vice president of the university. Armin seemed to be excited and Levi even managed a small smile. Of course, Erwin said it all relied on the council and how they felt about him but Zackely felt that since they had elected his father they would more than likely elect him. It was a little more than 4 years away but that wasn’t too long, in the grand scope of things. At 30 he could be the youngest vice president that the university had had, a professor, published author, and the continuation of the Smith legacy. Things were certainly looking brighter than they had been. 

When it came time to order, both Armin and Eren ordered everything but the kitchen sink amusing both Erwin and Levi. Levi teased, “I didn’t realize someone as small as you could eat that much, Armin.” Armin smirked, tone playful, “Sometimes,” Armin leaned across the table, voice a whisper, “I get real hungry, Levi.” Eren snickered as Erwin blushed before finishing his second beer. “Eren and I are going to stay at the house tonight.” Erwin winked, “Okay, well, I think Armin and I will probably stay tomorrow night, if that’s alright?” Levi shrugged, “I don’t care what you do, dirty old man.” Erwin feigned hurt, “You’re the same age. That’s so hurtful.” Levi snickered, “I don’t look my age. You do.” Erwin slapped Levi’s arm, something Eren and Armin had never seen before as Levi’s smile became wide. He hide it behind his beer as their food was served.

When it was time for desert Levi cleared his throat garnering the attention of the table, “I’m going to France, but only for three months. They called and agreed to my terms. It’ll be all of May, June, and July. I’ll be back on August 3rd, B’ezrat HaShem.” _(With God’s help)_ Eren’s heart soared, _he’ll be gone only three months._ Erwin smiled, “That’s great, Levi. I guess Eren can come with Armin and me in June to see you. It’ll be only two months that we’ll all be apart then. Eren’s ears turned red, “You don’t have to bring me along on y’alls trip. I can go on my own.” Levi interrupted, “Actually, you’re coming with me anyway. You’re my research…I found a nice loop hole last night when thinking things over so I sent them an email after you woke up and took a shower. That’s what they were calling about, agreeing to the shortening of the fellowship and the added stipend for my research to travel and stay with me.” Levi’s eyes were bright, his face smug but he was trying to suppress it. Erwin didn’t bother trying to suppress how delighted he was. “Levi, that’s wonderful! L’chaim!” They clinked their beers together as Eren laughed. 

Armin smiled but otherwise he stayed silent. Erwin’s eyes studied him, “Baby, you don’t seem so excited.” Armin opened his mouth and then closed it. “What is it, baby? Just say it?” Armin took a deep breath, “I don’t want to be a Debbie downer,” He mumbled picking his nails, “But, I think this is a-“ Levi cut in, “A trap. Yes, Eren said you’d think that.” Erwin nodded, “And if it is then we’re ready.” Eren and Armin perked up, “You don’t think I already thought that? I find out Levi’s offered a fellowship in France and then I conveniently receive money for my own trip there for research that could be done at any other time during this year?” Armin’s eyes widened his voice full of amusement, “You made sure the times would overlap. How did you do that?” Erwin smirked, “You’re not the only one with heightened skills of manipulation.” Levi gave Erwin a pleased look, “I knew something was up, you old shit. I thought the same thing about it being a trap but I was prepared to take on whatever came by myself.” Eren exchanged looks with Armin, before Eren cut in, “We’re all ridiculous. Well, let’s hope this is all legit and not a trap. I’d like to sunbathe on the beaches without worrying about being chopped up by psychos.” They all agreed as the checks were brought out and paid.

When they got to the house Armin and Erwin fetched their already packed things and bid Eren and Levi farewell. Armin gave Eren a hug before giving him a kiss on the cheek. Eren’s hands ran up and down his back and he hummed rocking them slightly before Armin had to go. They were still trying to say sorry to each other after all of the horrible things they’d said the other day. It would take time but they would be fine. They were finally able to not worry and just be. It was calm and relaxing now, where before it had been like playing with matches never knowing when you’d be burned. 

On their way back to the dorms Erwin took a longer route than normal despite the roads. Armin snuggled in his jacket like that morning, letting the scent envelop him. Erwin chewed his lip, “Paris is a nice place. Have you been?” Armin shook his head, “No, I’ve never been anywhere.” Erwin hummed, “I think there is another reason Levi’s going to study there.” Armin waited for him to continue, “Like?” Erwin’s features were illuminated by the stripes of moonlight that were coming through the clouds, “I think he wants to go back to the Jewish Quarter where he was born. I’m worried he’ll run into someone there. I’m worried that’s why he wants to go back there.” Armin understood, “So, we should go with him. We’ll go down to Paris for a long weekend and we’ll stay with him and Eren and that’s when we’ll all go.” Erwin’s fingers danced on the wheel, “You’re great, baby. You’re perfect.” Armin smirked, “Yeah, tell me something I don’t know.” Erwin chuckled darkly, “Someone’s feeling feisty.” Armin turned up the music on his Ipod he had connected to Erwin’s car:

  
I want to fuck you  
But I'm too repressed  
I want to suck you  
But I can't take off my dress  
I want to fuck you  
But I'm too repressed  
I want to suck you  
But I can't take off my dress  
Oh good luck to you

Erwin laughed, “So explicit.” Armin smirked, “Sometimes you gotta be explicit. It’s artistic expression, Erwin. It can’t be dirty if it’s art.” Erwin’s eyes were playful when they found Armin’s in the rear view mirror, “Do you think we’re too sexual?” Armin let out a breathy laugh, his baby blue eyes holding Erwin’s, “I don’t think we have sex enough, actually.” Erwin chuckled, caught off guard a little, “You should have said something.” He mumbled, blushing. Armin shrugged, “I didn’t want you think I was only interested in you for your body.” Erwin smiled, blushing more, “I feel like I’ve let my baby down.” Armin shook his head, “No, there’s still time to right this wrong. You can devote your heart to the cause and fuck me every day till we’re old and grey.” Erwin burst into laughter, “Sounds about like what they told us at basic training, “Devote your hearts to America as she fucks you sea to shining sea.” Armin moved to take Erwin’s hand, “Thank you, Erwin. Thanks for all that you do. I can’t wait to go to France with you.” Erwin gripped his hand tighter, “I can’t either. But, what will Marco and Jean do while we’re gone?” Armin shrugged, “Feed the cat and live in a mansion. I think they’ll be fine.” They were now at the dorm, they sat in the parking lot for the first time without feeling that horrible sense of foreboding and it was nice. 

The house was quiet without the sound of the TV or radios from Erwin and Armin or Marco and Jean. Levi went downstairs at Eren’s behest and grabbed a glass of white wine Erwin had put in the chiller. Levi was still upset about watching Hanji go full blown “science” mode on Eren. Being detached was necessary in most cases but how could Levi ever be detached when it came to Eren? Donner searched for Commander around the room as he waited. It was like he’d forgotten that the cat was back at the dorm. He threw his tennis ball, successfully distracting him as Levi roamed the main floor. The security system was on from when Erwin and Armin left. It still didn’t make him feel safe but that was nothing new.

When you’ve been to war, when you’ve killed others, when it was your mission to sneak into places unnoticed, this all culminated into one explicit realization that you were never safe. If someone wanted to hurt you, they will hurt you. Levi finished his glass and started another. Erwin had warned him that they both needed to stop drinking so heavily before bed. It was a coping method, get drunk and maybe the nightmares wouldn’t be so bad. Levi removed his coat, laying it on the hooks beside the door. There was a slight creak of the door opening upstairs. Levi looked up expecting to see Eren but instead he saw nothing. “Come on up, Levi.” Eren’s voice was slightly higher, playful, and teasing. Levi turned to climb the stairs.

The closer he got to the room the more he smelled smoke. Levi’s pace quickened, he opened the door and his mouth fell open. Sitting in the chaise lounge was a beautiful woman, tan skin, long brown hair with bangs. She wore an emerald silk night [ dress ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/a8/7c/fb/a87cfb48c48b8fdb3ccc104e7fd109ea.jpg) with matching shawl. She held a cigarette between her long fingers delicately as her plump glossy pink lips parted around it. The faint orange light from the burning paper drew Levi’s eyes. She crossed her legs revealing black stockings and black heels. In fact, the over-all look was very France circa 1930s in his opinion.

Eren’s eyes were shinning as he removed the cigarette slowly, allowing the smoke to billow over his lips and out his nose in a sensual wave of grey. Eren smirked coyly, head tilting to the side, he sang, “Je vous connais, Milord. Vous n'm'avez jamais vue. Je ne suis qu'une fille du port. Qu'une ombre de la rue...” _(I know you, my lord. You’ve never seen me. I’m just a girl from the docks, just a shadow from the street. )_ Levi was incredibly aroused, “Voulez-vous parler français?” _(Do you want to speak French?)_ Eren smiled devilishly, “Vous? Comment informelle, Levi.” _(You? How formal, Levi.)_ Levi started towards the chaise lounge, “Non, non, non, mon cher. Vous connaissez moi mais je ne vous pas connais.” _(No, no, no, my sweet. You know me, but I do not know you.)_ Levi smiled, eyes clouded with arousal. His fists clenched and unclenched in anticipation.

Levi moved to touch Eren, his fingers slipped under the shawl touching something underneath. He bent down closer, his free hand finding purchase on Eren’s satin covered knee. He rubbed it, pushing the slick further up as his other hand slipped down to cup Eren’s chest. He pinched slightly at the nubile skin exposed just above the top of the stalking before he received a firm slap to the face. Eren moved up off the lounge as Levi rubbed his face, eyes bright and shocked, he could taste blood. Eren moved towards the fire place, hips swaying sensually, “Ou’es-tu? Un gangster?” _(What are you? A gangster?)_ Eren’s hands lifted up the silken fabric as he walked back wards revealing his knees and the top of his tan thighs. The garter strap teased Levi as he stalked forward, slowly as to not spook this almost too good to believe apparition before him.

Eren tossed the shawl on the bed, removing the satin gown and revealing the complex [ lingerie ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/7f/5e/6b/7f5e6b9fe0354a144bd9a1e693313da3.jpg)beneath. Levi’s breath hitched. He wanted nothing more than to trace the bare skin of this Parisian delight before him with his tongue. Eren moved forward, heels clicking with each step; he was so close to Levi he could smell him, anemones and channel number 5. It made his blood boil. “Mon petite gangster,” Eren’s voice crooned as he stopped mere inches from Levi, their lips so close they could feel each other’s breath on them, “Que mes baisers soient les mots d'amour que je ne te dis pas.” _(Let my kisses be the words I don’t say)_ Eren kissed Levi quickly, tentatively, before moving out of the hold Levi was about to pull him in to.

Eren’s musical laughter spurred Levi on, “Tu me rends fou.” Eren moved away again, “Tu me fais bander.” _(You’re driving me crazy. You’re making me hard.)_ Eren snickered, “Tres bien, mon gangster.” Eren moved on to the bed, removing the bra and slowly taking off the underwear while Levi stood at the foot of the bed watching. Eren had prepared already and Levi’s mouth watered when he started playing with himself. Eren’s long fingers disappeared inside of him as he moaned, lit cigarette almost finished, he took another long drag before letting the smoke out through his parted lips as he sank down on himself. 

Levi grasped the sheets of the bed watching Eren’s ministrations. He wanted nothing more than to devour him. Levi was at his breaking point, “Eren, s’il te plait. Tu vas me détruire!” _(Eren, please. You will destroy me.)_ Eren laughed breathily as he removed his fingers. “Oui, Milord. Prends-moi. Prends-moi par derrière.” _(Yes, my lord. Take me. Take me from behind.)_ Levi crawled on the bed, removing his shirt and taking his pants off with Eren’s help. He devoured his mouth; his tongue swiping insistently at Eren’s lower lip, entering and dominating Eren till he was whining for more. Levi’s hands raked up his thighs making him twitch. He gave his bottom a firm slap making him mewl from pleasure.

Eren cried out as Levi’s fingers came inside of him, searching and diving deeper than before. His legs shook and coursed with raw pleasure as Levi removed the small stub of cigarette, taking one last drag. He kept eye contact with Eren the entire time only to force his mouth open and push the smoke inside with his tongue. Eren had never experienced something as erotic and his mind shut down. When he was released he cried out, “Baises moi, s’il te plait, s’il te plait.” _(Fuck me, please, please.)_ Levi didn’t need to be told twice as he pushed Eren on his hands and knees and took him in one smooth motion.

It was tight and hot inside and Levi felt alive. He felt like Eren was made for him, made him complete and healed him somehow. He knew Eren like it rough and they were both so close before they began that holding off was pointless. He pushed Eren into the mattress aiming for his special spot. Eren cried out when he hit it and he made it his goal to continue to hit it every time head on. 

The closer they got, the more heat that pooled in Levi’s stomach, made him want to flip Eren over so he could watch him come undone. He pulled out, a whine escaping Eren as he did so, before he turned him on his back. His legs opened wider to take Levi back in; his hands searched for purchase on his shoulders and biceps as Levi began thrusting again. They kissed each other desperately as they neared the end. Levi couldn’t help it when Eren pushed back down on him with more force than normal, he started to come. Eren still needed something to push him over the edge. Instead of stroking him, Levi surprised himself when his hands went to Eren’s throat, applying just enough pressure to the sides. Eren’s pupils dilated further, his face flushed and his body shook from delight and pleasure. He came with just a few more thrusts. Both collapsed, riding out their orgasms and basking in the warmth of the fire. 

After a few long moments, Levi pulled out of Eren moving off the bed to the small bedside table. He opened the drawer, pulling out a pack of Israeli cigarettes. He lit one taking a deep breath before lying down next to Eren on the sheets and passing it to him, “Shitty brat, you shouldn’t smoke inside. It’ll saturate the fabrics with smell and stain the walls with nicotine. Eren laughed heartily as he passed the cigarette back, “Is that why we’re smoking now?” The corner of Levi’s lip twitched, “Well, you already broke the rule, it’s not gunna do more damage to do it just this once.” Eren smiled, “Rebel.” He felt Levi’s hands in his hair, the wig still attached, “Gangster, actually, and don’t you forget it.” His hands tightened and he pulled Eren into another bruising kiss full of smoke and passion. “I’m going to fuck you again through those panties so you better put them back on and grab that shawl, too.” Eren grinned despite himself before crawling away to do just that.

The next two weeks went by in much the same fashion except that Armin started to feel worse. His cold kept thoroughly annoying him throughout the day but at night it was insufferable. Every few minutes he was wracked with coughs, his nose was useless because it was so stuffed up, and a small fever set in giving him chills and sweats. He started losing the ability to really focus and often just sat or laid for hours without moving. Often at night, he would crawl in bed first, wedging himself against the wall with Erwin’s pillow waiting for him to come to bed and keep him warm. Erwin did his best to soothe him, picking up vex vapor rubs, cough drops, and a pallet of blue PowerAde Eren had mentioned was his favorite drink, and even a few over the counter remedies and countless pots of homemade soup that Armin had started refusing because he was nauseous. Nothing helped, nothing would ease his suffering. 

Marco appeared at the door of Erwin and Armin’s room, covered in stains and smelling like coffee. “Armin?” His voice was tentative as his walked in to find Armin staring at the same word document on his laptop he had open when Marco left five hours ago. “Armin?” Armin turned around in the chair, “Yeah…” Marco’s eyebrows raised, his eyes were wide but he managed to plaster on his same “everything in the world is sunshine and butterflies” smile. “Hey, Armin, let’s go to the doctor.” Armin shook his head, “No” a long pause and gasp for air, “…I…I’m-….frrr” Armin’s voice trailed off into a buzz. Marco moved forward grabbing Armin up in his arms like a paper doll and wrapping him in his blanket. He shook his head, “Yeah, like fuck your fine. Let’s go.” With that Marco carried Armin all the way to the campus med clinic up the hill from their dorm. He would have driven but his car was in the remote parking lot and Armin was sick, really sick.

When Marco entered the crowded waiting room he groaned, “This will take forever” he mumbled as he went up to the counter. Armin was still wrapped in his blanket as Marco gently shifted him in his arms preparing for possible and inevitable paperwork. Marco purposely chose the only female nurse at the counter. Walking up, the cute nurse smiled flirtatiously at him. _Well, this is going to work out nicely,_ he thought to himself approaching the white counter. “Helping a friend out?” Marco smiled back, “Always.” He paused as she gave him a one over. _This is great._ Marco stood up straighter, hip slightly open so she had a good idea how built he was. His tight fitting blue jeans, brown leather shoes, and tight black work shirt made an impression if her face was anything to judge by, he was cold since he’d forgot his jacket but Armin was more important than that at the time and he knew the chill had brought a rosy color to his cheeks. “I know it’s busy and everything but…my friend is really sick,” Marco leaned down, batting his long lashes and giving the girl and equally flirtatious lopsided grin, his voice was low and oozed with sexuality and a slightly thicker Italian accent, “Is there anything you might be able to do about that?” He winked making her blush. 

“Well, let me see his face.” He uncovered Armin and the nurse gasped quietly, “Yes, you should bring him back right now. He’s really ill.” She stood up disappearing until he heard the click of the automatic door opening. “Come this way.” Marco followed her to a room marked “Quarantine” and he groaned again, “Of course, you’d get me drug into this too, Armin. Damn.” She gave Marco and apologetic look, “you two will both need to be checked out. Have a seat and a nurse will be in shortly.” Marco sat down on the blue patent leather seat cradling a now feverish sleeping Armin, before opening a magazine called “Maria Fisheries Weekly” and settling in for a long night. 

Armin’s skin was a strange pink, his eyes glassy, the blue looked a shade of sea green that perplexed yet fascinated Marco, he shook uncontrollably and at one point he was just mumbling a series of words together. It turned out Armin had a case of swine flu which was shocking since that was believe to be contained. Marco had the test run on him and was found to also be infected but there were abnormalities. He asked that they called Dr. Hanji Zoe and refer him to their care. He tried to play off any of the other questions but it was the question of where Armin and Marco were going to go. The university prohibited that they return to the dorm, for that had been the issue with other outbreaks in the past. Marco dialed Erwin’s number waiting anxiously for him to answer.

Erwin answered on the third ring, “Marco? Are you okay?” His voice was panicked, Marco never called him. He texted but never called. “Erwin, listen, we’ve got a situation. Turns out Armin and I have swine flu and as our RA you know we can’t come back to the dorms. I need you to _verify_ that we have a place to stay that is not in the dorm and within a two hour car drive.” Marco’s chipper voice held hidden meaning and Erwin picked up on it asking that the phone be handed to the doctor. After a few minutes they were told to sit tight and that their ride would be there shortly.

Marco called Hanji while they waited. “Hanji?” Hanji sounded tired, “Marco, how are you?” Marco held Armin close as he started fretting in his sleep. His fever was 106.4 and he needed to be watched constantly. “Well, Armin and I both have swine flu and I’m at the doctor’s but it isn’t showing up normal if you catch my drift. I asked to be referred to you since you’re an almost doctor. I also wanted to just stop the questioning. I don’t feel bad, no symptoms, nothing. But Armin is bad off. I’m scared about how sick he is.” Hanji clicked their tongue behind their teeth, “He might need an IV. I’m sure Erwin will want him moved to the house but I’m going to warn you, Marco, if he looks real bad Erwin might have an issue. I know he had a close friend die because they got sick while out on a mission and visible signs of fever and such get to him more than others. So, watch out for that. I’ll get an IV ready and some other stuff and I’ll meet you all at the house. I’m going to call Erwin now and tell him, okay?” Marco agreed and wrapped Armin tighter. His shaky breathing scared Marco and he just hoped Erwin would get there soon.

Marco called Jean who was in the middle of studying with Eren. He insisted that he come pick Marco up but Marco told him that Erwin was on his was and Hanji would handle things. Jean relented and said that after he finished he’d run by the dorm and studio and grab some things for the house studio. If he was going to be sick then he’d take care of him. Marco couldn’t help but smile at Jean trying to be a Susie homemaker and feed him soup in bed.

After about thirty minutes, the same nurse came back, her long red hair was loose and fell over her shoulders. She gave Marco a sweet smile, casually walking over to him and handing him her number. She told him his ride was there and that if he needed a private nurse she would be available. Marco continued to let his father’s Italian charm ooze out of him as he carried Armin out to Erwin’s car.

The girl took stock of the fine Mercedes flashing an even brighter smile to Marco. “Well, cutie, remember if you need me you can call me.” She winked and put her hand on his shoulder. Marco’s impish smile gave Erwin pause as he moved forward to take Armin. “I’ll be sure to have my boyfriend call you if I’m incapacitated. God knows we don’t want him on WebMD.” She removed her hand like she was burned. “Ohhh umm” was her stuttered response as she just ran back inside the clinic. Erwin laughed in surprise, “She looked burned.” Marco winked, “She got burned.” Erwin barked a laugh, “Marco, breaker of hearts.” Marco stepped up to him revealing Armin.

It was a good thing Hanji warned him because Erwin went white as a sheet and stiff as a board at the sight of Armin and how sick he was. He was whining and making frustrated noises like a newborn puppy and his hair was matted down with sweat. Armin’s skin was even more inflamed looking, for that is what his entire body looked like, puffy and inflamed, and the rings around his eyes were darkening. Erwin moved to take him but he looked unsure. “Erwin, its fine, I got him and I’m going to sit in the back with him. Hanji called?” Erwin nodded opening the door and letting Marco in. He drove them to the house, pulling up next to Jean’s and Hanji’s car. Mike was outside knocking the frost off of a porch throw pillow. “Hey, we just got here. Jean let us in.” Erwin and Levi had made keys for the three boys and one for Mikasa since she often volunteered to help with the animals. Apparently, Annie really enjoyed it too and they were trust worthy. 

Marco got out holding Armin against him while Erwin stood awkwardly to the side like he was helpless. Mike snorted, “Its gunna be fine, Erwin. I know you just…can’t with this kind of stuff but Hanji’s got a make shift hospital room in the car and we’ll get Armin back in tip-top shape.” Erwin smiled faintly walking them all in as Hanji appeared unusually reserved. “Hey. Marco, I’m going to need blood from you but first let’s look at our little prince as Erwin calls him.” Erwin’s face blushed red, “Hanji…that’s not something you should repeat.” Jean snickered, “Why? He is everyone’s little prince. We’re all gathered around him right now about to stare at his pretty little face. Well, I’m more concerned about my Italian stallion.” Jean winked earning a groan from many in the room. Armin was still passed out and he kept looking worse every time Marco checked on him.

Hanji shook their head, “Nope, nope, nope. This isn’t good. He’s really dehydrated, needs codeine, needs tama flu, and an IV.” Jean moved forward, “He’s allergic to Zythromax and the last time he got flu they gave him tama flu and it was horrible. Is there something else he could take?” Hanji thought to themselves before answering, “No, there isn’t, but it’s a good thing you spoke up. We’ll have to put him on that tama flu but we’ll keep an eye on him. What did it make him do?” Jean grimaced, “It made him expel body fluids constantly. He was so sick Mr. Jaeger kept him in hospital with him and Eren and I took turns sleeping in the room with him while Mikasa kept up with his school stuff.” Hanji tch’ed, “Well, he’s exempt from school while he’s sick and I think that with Erwin’s help he’ll be covered on that. I’m worried now about giving him this but it’s all we have.” Hanji directed everyone upstairs, “Where do you want him, Erwin.” Erwin looked dazed, the question seemed to offend him, “In our room, of course.” Hanji turned to Erwin’s room while Mike went out to get the supplies.

Once set up Hanji, Jean, and Marco came downstairs for his blood work. Hanji really had set up a portable lab, scrutinizing the blood under her microscope. “Hmmm this is really interesting. I’m going to take more samples and compare them to Eren’s as well.” Marco perked up, “You’ve got samples from Eren?” Jean tensed up as Hanji met his gaze, “Eren had offered to be a part of the research. He’s a test subject and I have his DNA and blood at hand.” Marco’s brow furrowed, “Why…I should have been asked to participate.” Jean shifted, “No one asked. He just…volunteered.” Marco turned to Jean biting his lip before returning to Hanji, “I want to participate. It will work better with two of us because that way we can give each other a rest and once can be a control for your theories.” Hanji’s eye’s glistened with moisture. Jean wasn’t sure if it was tears or not. Knowing Hanji, it was probably a lot of things. “That’s wonderful, Marco, really. But take a week to think about it, okay?” Marco shook his head, “Fine, but don’t be surprised if you get a call at midnight a week from now and I tell you I want to be in it.” Hanji laughed, “deal.”

Marco had felt a bit more tired than normal and Hanji predicted he’d feel the effects of the virus tomorrow and thus, they’d be checking in with them daily. Jean’s classes were more flexible this semester with studio days written in. He could work at the one on campus or his personal one and the non art classes he was taking were either on Tuesday-Thursday or online. A beautiful idea from Jaeger’s mind that Jean was glad he’d looked into, not that he would admit that to him. He brought up their things from the car he’d packed for them while Marco was still at the clinic waiting. Marco gave Jean a kiss on the cheek, making Jean pout. “Babe, I don’t want to get you sick and I’m not on medicine yet. It’s not airborne so thank God for that or you couldn’t even stay in the same room as me. Which, you probably shouldn’t.” Jean’s face was outraged, “I refuse to sleep anywhere else. If you’re old and shitting the bed I’ll still be right there at your side.” Marco laughed, “Shitting along with me. Everyone will hate us at the home.” Jean smirked, “We ain’t goin’ in no home, Marco. Our kids will wipe our asses just like we’ll wipe theirs.” 

Marco blushed, “You think about stuff like that?” He mumbled changing out of his work clothes and dropping them in the hamper. He could have used the laundry chute but didn’t feel like it. It was only practical when Levi was home because he did laundry twice sometimes three times a day. He had built a custom luxury [ laundry room ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/e6/8d/54/e68d54b5a2584766d7346f686cf0c29a.jpg) just for the job. Jean moved towards the TV turning it on and plugging up his laptop to do some homework. It was only 8:00 pm and they hadn’t had dinner yet. He’d figure there was something in the kitchen they could cook or he would order out. “Of course, I think about that stuff. I think about it all the time. Do you or am I too creepy and serious?” Jean’s strong back tightened, the muscles prominent beneath the thin paint splattered _The Cult_ band tshirt. Marco plopped down on the bed, “Naw I never think about that kind of stuff. I just figured I’d run away to Italy and start a gang fuck bitches and go out before my 30th birthday.” Jean turned around, visibly hurt, “MARCO!” Marco laughed popping the top off his prescription bottle and taking his first dose of medicine, “Jean, of course I do. I day-dream often about it, actually, like a huge dork.” 

Jean scratched his already rough and dark five O’clock shadow, “How many kids you want?” Marco hummed dramatically, “I want five or six, maybe eight. I’m serious, Jean. I want a lot of kids.” Jean’s mouth fell open, “Eight? I mean, I guess that’s fine but its gunna cost a fortune.” Marco tilted his head to the side, his face full of amused satisfaction, “You’d really be okay with eight kids?” Jean joined Marco on the bed, TrueTV’s _World’s Dumbest_ was playing a countdown and they often watched them together and cackled the entire time, “I want a lot. I thought three or four would be the cut off but if you want eight then that’s do-able. A lot of kids need homes, babe.” Marco cuddled up to Jean, “You’re perfect, Mr. Kirschstein.” Jean blushed as Marco stared up at him with those infinite brown pools of love and life. “They’d be Kirschstein-Bodts?” Jean rolled his eyes, “I like Bodt-Kirschsteins but it’s whatever.” He mumbled as Marco laid his head in his lap, eyes shimmering as they tried to decide what they wanted to eat for dinner because Marco would soon be unable to keep anything down.

Erwin was anxiously pacing the floor, every time Armin mumbled incomprehensible strings of sounds and words he fretted. His fever was still the same but as the IV bag started to become empty Erwin couldn’t help but let the crushing helpless feeling he had set in deeper in his bones. He called the one person who could help him, “Levi?” His voice was shaky, but a lot better off than he expected. Levi’s cool blue voice appeared, “Are you okay?” Leave it to Levi to be so blunt.  
“Armin is sick, swine flu. He’s feverish and bad off. Hanji’s got him on an IV and I’m aware of what to look for in case of emergency but it’s-“  
”Just like with de Barra.” Levi clicked his tongue, “But, it’s not. Because he’s safe with you and Hanji is in charge and you know Hanji is a great medical professional.”  
”He’s so feverish, Levi.”  
”He’s not coherent at all?”  
”No, which is making it worse. I wish he was awake and talking about it rather than just...”  
”It’s going to fine, Erwin. He’s going to be okay. He’ll be sick for about eight or nine days and then back to normal. Your ears will be ringing from the amount of bitching and nagging he’ll have saved up” Levi snorted at his own joke but Erwin remained silent for a long time, just sitting on the phone with him, feeling the familiar comfort.  
”Levi, where are you?”  
”In the lab…deciding what to take to France.”  
”Liar. Always a liar, Lee.”  
”We tell lies, it’s what we do. We tell lies for many reasons. But, at the end of the day, we have to trust that each other’s lies are ultimately for our mutual benefit. Do you trust me?”

Erwin didn't speak for a while. He could hear the shuffle of papers, the scratch of the fancy ink pen he gave Levi as a gift after their first tour, and he could hear Levi’s faint breath, he could imagine it flowing over his slightly parted lips. Levi was upset, not too badly, but upset. “Erwin, do you remember when my med kit was confiscated?” Erwin exhaled, “Yeah.” He heard him continue writing, _scratch, scratch, scratch,_ until he put the pen down with a thud, it rolled slightly, “I realized something last night about that day. I had an early generation of my blood clotting serum in it.” Erwin’s stomach tightened, “Mmmm Levi…” Levi sighed, “Eren and I will hold down the fort tonight but I contacted the housing department about finding replacements. We can’t be RAs and deal with this all at the same time. You won’t admit it. I know you won’t, so I will. Honestly, Erwin, I just want to be in the house full time. I take it that’s where you are.” Erwin hummed, “Mhm, Levi, do you think we’ll have to go back?”

Levi sat at his desk, files upon files littered the top with pictures of faces he’d rather have never seen or ever remembered. He’d made a few phone calls that morning to old friends, his gang and their affiliates, and even their old superiors. Nile Dok had been the most cooperative, much to his surprise. He’d hated Levi since basic but had always had a soft spot for Erwin, which had caused friction between Levi and Erwin while they were soldiers. Erwin grew restless on the other end of the line, his sigh a signal that he expected an answer now. Levi took a deep breath. When he spoke his voice an echo of his former self, “Yes, Commander, we’ll have to go back.” 


	21. Valentine's Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Armin recovers from swine flu both couples celebrate Valentine's Day. Erwin and Armin decide to "play" and thus, if you do not wish to read BDSM smut that include degrading language and anything with a riding crop as well as a semi sadistic seme Armin then you can skip the section denoted with ******* and avoid it. You can scroll through to the fluff that begins after the second ******* After Valentines Levi gets a message that changes everything and we end on a crisis, major flashbacks, and angst because I don't know what is wrong with me and I had no idea that this level of angst resided in me though there's a lot of fluff in this chapter at the beginning so yeah.....

The next ten days went by painstakingly slow for Erwin. He’d taken care of Armin best he could but on the sixth day when he had crawled his way out of bed only to sit down halfway to the bathroom, delirious and crying, in the floor he called Eren. Armin was sallow, looked like he jaundice from the yellow in his normally alabaster skin. Eren had picked him up and taken him in the bathroom. He stripped him naked, sat him on the toilet while holding him up till he finished, ignoring all the unpleasantness that comes along with someone who is that ill. Then he stripped off his clothes too, carrying Armin into the walk in shower and laying him down under the spray with his head in his lap as he lightly stroked his hair and face.

Erwin and Levi checked on them periodically, watching as Armin started to come out of it, speaking a bit more coherently. Eren asked for the thermometer and Erwin was pleased that his fever had dropped to only 102. Armin’s throat was dry and hoarse as he spoke, his body wracked with chills, “Fuck-…fuuucking…hate….tama flu.” Eren laughed, “I know, Arm. I know. The remedy is worse than the affliction.” Armin’s eyes were still that strange shade of sea green but after a few squirts of Biotin eye wash Eren requested, they were clearing back up to his usual sweet sky blue. 

Armin shook on the tile floor. Eren’s eyes ran over his form. His body had always been lean but built from biking and other activities. Unfortunately, he’d lost so much weight his ribs were prominent and his hip bones were more pronounced than Eren had ever seen them. Eren had been suspicious that he’d not been eating as much since the attack, he was prone to starving himself when he felt out of control. This week of sickness, coupled with the last two, was only making it worse. He didn’t want to cause more problems by telling Erwin and Levi. He’d have the talk with him, no one else.

Eren turned the water off when he thought Armin’s fever had gone down as much as possible. Cleaning him off and putting one of Erwin’s shirts on him made Armin feel a little like a person again. “Eren?” his voice only a faint whisper, “Er?” Eren was laying him down on the freshly made bed, Levi’s handwork if the corners were anything to go by, “Yeah?” Armin reached out, “Don’t leave me. Please.” Eren didn’t have the heart to say no. He laid him down softly, “Let me go change. I’ll be right back.” Eren leaned down, lips pressing against his forehead. Armin shuddered and whimpered as he pulled away.

Eren grabbed whatever clothes his hands found first, pulling them on and fighting the chills he had. He walked back down to Erwin’s room but stopped at the joint office. He peered in seeing Levi pour over stacks of photos and papers. He entered, “What are you looking at?” Levi shut one of the books nearby, shuffling papers into a neat pile, “Nothin’ brat.” His voice was cold and blunt. Eren wasn’t sure what to do so he just looked down at the floor. “Your hair is still wet. You’ll catch a cold.” Eren felt his hair, “It’s thick.Iit’ll take a bit before it dries. Armin wants me to lay with him so that’s where I’m heading.” Levi appraised him, “I like seeing my clothes on you.” Eren’s brow furrowed, “Oh, I didn’t even realize I grabbed your clothes.” Levi chuckled, “Yeah, yeah.” Eren smiled, “Honest.” Levi waved Eren off, small smirk playing at the corner of his lips. “Don’t get sick and I’ll get you up for dinner.” Eren clutched the doorframe, “Can I ask you a question?” Levi nodded. “Do you celebrate Rosh Chodesh Adar?” Levi looked at Eren like he had grown a second head, “Um, no. It just denotes a new month beginning. The month of Adar. It’s not a holiday.” Eren nodded, “Oh okay.” 

Levi moved from his desk stalking forward. His eyes were suspicious and Eren felt like animal that had to decide if it should stay and fight or flee for its life. These moments were Eren’s favorite. Often, it felt like both Levi and Eren were wild animals that had somehow bonded but there were moments in their relationship where one never really knew what the other one was going to do or was capable of. Levi pushed Eren against the door frame, pinning him with his hands on his hips, “What’s with the sudden Judaic knowledge?” Levi’s eyes were hypnotizing. Eren played it cool, “I have a calendar that includes the Jewish holidays. I was curious what that Adar or whatever was because you’d not mentioned it.” Eren gave Levi a push, catching him off guard. He slipped into the hall making sure Levi had something nice to look at as he bluffed his way out of the situation. “Tch, whatever, brat.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Armin woke from his feverish coma just three days before Valentine ’s Day. He had come out of the flu after ten long days and had little to no memories about it, save for Eren’s face covered in water and his own reflection in the mirror where he counted his ribs. He needed to eat something soon. He woke up on the eleventh day wrapped in Erwin’s strong arms as _Behind Enemy Lines_ played on the TV. Erwin was fully engrossed and it wasn’t until Armin squirmed around to look at him that he noticed he was awake. “Baby!” His voice was soft but excited. Armin squirmed, “Erwin, let me go pee, shower, and brush my teeth. I’m filthy.” Erwin chuckled letting him up.

When he returned it was freshly washed, teeth brushed, and hair combed. Erwin grinned opening his arms to him. Armin gladly entered them, pulling up Erwin’s shirt and crawling under it tickling Erwin. “Hahaha! Baby! What are you doing?” Armin smirked against Erwin’s chest, “I’m a caterpillar and you are my cocoon. Cocoon me with your warmth and undivided attention.” Erwin chuckled heartily, “You always have my undivided attention, my little prince.” Armin lightly bit the soft skin of Erwin’s chest, feeling those strong muscles tighten as he did so. He burrowed further under Erwin’s shirt, legs falling to the sides to straddle him. “Armin, you just woke up after ten days of sickness and you’re already trying to get something going?” Armin shook his head, “No, I’m too tired for that. But…” Erwin uncovered Armin, “But what, puddin’ pop?” Armin giggled, “Puddin’ Pop, Seriously? I just want you to suffocate me and dote on me.”

Erwin continued to smile, “Well, I can certainly do that. By the way, what would you like to do for Valentine’s Day? It’s in three days.” Armin nuzzled his cheek against Erwin’s chest, “I have an idea for that night but everything that leads up to it is up for grabs.” Erwin shook in silent laughter, “I’m so glad your back, Armin. I’ve missed you.” Armin nibbled the delicate skin more, “Want me to be cruel to you?” His voice was full of promise, “Right now? I’d have a hard time holding back, baby. Might want to save that for Saturday.” Erwin shifted Armin high on his chest, “Let’s go back to Amsterdam for dinner and then how about we go to train tracks for drinks at the Irish Pub?” Armin hummed, “Sound’s good. But, they probably won’t have space since it’s so close.” Erwin snickered, “I already made the reservation.” Armin smiled, “Daddy, you spoil me but your over confidence will be the end of you. I should change my restaurant choice to Blood Hounds to spite you.” Erwin chuckled darkly, “I made reservations there too, and I made them at a few other places as well. I knew my baby might be picky.” Armin rose up, hovering over Erwin, eyes playful.

Erwin didn’t move, didn’t breath as Armin tilted his head side to side, “You’re going to have a fun day Saturday. Nothing will be good enough and I’ll be so cruel to you you’ll end up crying in frustration. Nothing will please me.” Erwin was quickly getting turned on at the prospect of an insatiable Armin. He felt heat pooling in his lower stomach. Armin moved forward pressing himself to him, his lips were soft and full of promise as he worked Erwin’s mouth open before pulling back and snuggling closer, placing his head beneath Erwin’s chin and taking a deep breath of his heady scent. Erwin was content to just lay there with his sweet boy on top of him as sunlight poured into the room and the smells of lunch came from the kitchen downstairs. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Levi and Eren decided on dinner at the Amsterdam café as well. It was a shock when both couples arrived at the same time but separately. Levi raised an eyebrow while Erwin shrugged, “Great minds think alike, huh?” Armin appeared around the side of the car with a look of utter boredom on his fine face, “More like this is where basic-ass and pathetic sugar daddies bring their babies.” His tone was haughty and Levi was more than a little perplexed though the slight pause and shift of the eyes Eren gave meant he’d find out sooner or later and it was best to let it go. Erwin was [ wearing ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/07/6a/27/076a27ff0c15807c254221e5faf99157.jpg) fitted black trousers, brown Italian leather loafers, a tight dark navy blue shirt with two buttons at the top he left unbuttoned revealing a tuff of his golden chest hair, and a long black winter coat. He looked dashing. Armin was nothing to sneeze at either, he [ wore ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/a0/1b/e2/a01be28768f132f92b29babd7558b149.jpg) dark fitted gun metal grey trousers that complimented his fair complexion. His jacket daring and grey, heavy with knitted wrists, looked warm and comfortable. Levi caught a glimpse of a bit of black underneath but saw nothing more.

Levi himself was [ wearing ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/a6/af/58/a6af58f5bcc254db0bf98434399a4453.jpg) a dark ensemble of rough storm trooper-ish fabrics and daring cuts. An open black jacket despite the cold and the intricate design of his pants made his already stark face and personality more prominent. Eren complimented him in a black [ street ware ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/87/f6/09/87f6093e20ca02ddff480eda98ef6c8f.jpg) outfit. It was much more relaxed with the hoodie giving off an apocalyptic vibe. His leather pants fit like a glove and Levi was more than fond of that. They were sat at separate tables but they had chosen to be sat in the same section, only a few tables away from one another to their further amusement. 

Once they were seated Levi noticed Armin shrug off his jacket, the restaurant was warm and packed with bodies. He was shocked r to see he was [ wearing ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/f1/ef/ad/f1efad8ccc181674dfeb1c29584595f3.jpg) a black shirt, just as he’d thought, but also set of leather suspenders that were absolutely divine. Levi’s mouth watered at the sight of them. He imagined what Eren might look like in those, tied up or simply just walking around the house in them nude while Levi watched. Eren snapped his fingers, “You’ve noticed Armin was being a bit…haughty and bitchy?” Levi nodded, “Apparently, it’s because Erwin asked him to. They’re playing. Armin’s going to be a sadistic asshole, just a heads up. I was totally caught off guard this morning and it was really uncomfortable.” Eren cut his eyes over as Armin absolutely refused any and all of Erwin’s suggestions on appetizers. His legs were uncrossed, spread open as he leaned back into the plush seat, elbows propped up on the back of the booth. One foot was pushing down on Erwin’s toes, crushing them. Levi stifled a laugh, “Yes. Erwin is really into that. Lucky for him, I think Armin is up to the challenge.”

Eren snickered, “You have no fucking idea” before ripping into the appetizers Levi chose for them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Erwin had been sufficiently embarrassed and frustrated that day already. When Armin woke to brunch in bed, chocolates, and flowers all he managed was a sneer. He said the breakfast was less than acceptable, asking if the reason Levi always cooked was because he was incapable of doing it. Apparently, being handsome was just a cover for lacking any basic skills or talents. The chocolates were referred to as “inferior middle class substitutes for real Parisian confections. I bet Levi had chocolates imported for Eren or he had actually hand-made them into the wee hours of the morning. Apparently, Erwin “didn’t love him enough to do so” or “get him any that were fine enough” for him. The digs and comparisons to Levi had really burned him up. Armin ate a few of candies, chewing some up to only put them back in the box when the flavor didn’t suite him, and proceeded to turn the box up-side down letting them all fall to the floor as he finished the rest of his coffee. When Erwin returned broom in hand, it was to the sight of petals everywhere. Armin sat on the bed and bit off each individual long stem rose and tossed the petals around. He finished and made his way to the bathroom and took a long shower as Erwin cleaned up.

Armin had always had an extensive beauty regimen. Mostly, he sat at the vanity in the bathroom and plucked a few stray eyebrows and trimmed them, applied moisturizer, trimmed his nails, waxed, and applied lotion his entire body. He’d finish by brushing and blow drying his hair. Erwin thought nothing of it, he was prone to his own vain routine but when Armin called him in to the bathroom Erwin was more than concerned. Armin stood soaking wet in the door way to the walk in shower, “Dry me off. I don’t feel like doing it.” Erwin took the towel, drying Armin from top to bottom as Armin critiqued his roughness or softness. When he finished he was on his knees drying between Armin’s toes and the soles of his feet. Armin’s hands found their way into his hair, harshly jerking his face up. Armin practically radiated malevolence. 

Erwin felt a pleasurable chill run down his spin as Armin’s thumbs stroked his high cheek bones. “I don’t want to sit on the chair at the vanity. It’s dirty like everything else you’re in charge of. Therefore, I am going to sit on you, understood?” He released Erwin, his chin jerked towards the vanity. Erwin made to get up but Armin’s foot kicked him back down, “Crawl.” His tone was hot, metallic, like lightning it stung and pierced. Armin could have been a fine commander in the military, he thought as he started to crawl on his hands and knees towards the vanity. Armin sat on his human bench going through his regular routine. He took longer than normal, pulling his hair back after drying it, half up and half down. It had become longer and longer, hitting below the tops of his shoulders. Armin had been putting off cutting it and Erwin hadn’t minded, not when he looked so cute in a pony tail. He fish tail braided the pony tail, the hairstyle gave him a much older appearance in Erwin’s opinion, or from what he was able to see when Armin stood to dress, walking around him. He remained on his hands and knees till Armin returned, using him as a place to tied his boots.

Erwin’s limbs tingled, “Get up, you’re disgusting.” Armin sneered as he went into the bedroom. Erwin got up, took a shower, and dressed quickly. He came out to an empty room. It took another 15 minutes to find Armin, but he was sitting with Eren in Levi’s study drinking coffee. Erwin entered, “Baby, there you are.” He smiled brightly only to be met with a roll of the eyes and the now familiar look of disgust he’d worn all morning, “I’m not your fucking baby, you pervert. The coffee you gave me this morning was shit, did you make it too?” Erwin nodded, “I did.” Armin took another sip of his drink, “Well, then maybe you should leave that to Levi as well. His coffee, in stark contrast to yours, tastes divine.” He inflected divine with enough sensuality to make Erwin want to go find Levi and punch him right in the face. “I’ll make sure to take notes next time.” Armin tch’ed, “Next time will be too late. You’ve already subjected me to your subpar abilities. My palette is damaged.” Eren cleared his throat pulling at the collar of his sleeper shirt. This wasn’t what he’d expected when Armin had told him he was going to have fun with Erwin.

The rest of the day leading up to dinner Armin flat ignored Erwin. He didn’t so much as look at him while they worked on papers in the office and when he tried to cuddle up with him during a movie he knew Armin had been dying to see he was met with a harsh slap across the face, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing you old pervert?” He glared at Erwin like he really did disgust him on every level. Erwin tried to smooth things over, “I’m cuddling up with my baby. Is there something I could do to make you happier?” Armin tch’ed turning back to the screen, he mumbled, “You could rub my feet.” Erwin slide off the couch in the media room, removing Armin’s boots to do just that.

The movie played on and Armin returned to acing like Erwin was invisible. He didn’t look like he was enjoying the massage, either. His face looked bored more than anything. Erwin felt frustrated that he couldn’t get even one single word of praise out of him. He was starting to feel like shit and shamefully he liked it. He wanted to see how far Armin would take this. He lightly kissed the delicate foot only to be kicked on the floor on his back. The heel of Armin’s foot pushed painfully into his chest, pinning him to the floor. “You filthy, worthless, piece of shit, did I say you could fucking kiss me at all?” Erwin opened his mouth only to close it when Armin spat on him, “You know I bet Levi follows Eren’s orders to the letter. I bet he pleases Eren a lot better than you please me, too. I feel like I got the shit end of this arrangement and Eren’s coming up like roses, that lucky fuck.” Armin pushed harder before giving him a swift kick to the side, not hard enough to actually do damage but enough to stun Erwin. Armin had really committed and his words were wrecking Erwin.

At the restaurant Erwin was thankful that Petra wasn’t their waitress. After the third dish was sent back Armin finally decided he’d eat what Erwin had and Erwin could just deal with it. Armin drank his tea, commenting negatively on all acts of romanticism Erwin threw his way. A singer, roses, it didn’t matter. He could not be brought to smile. He told Erwin it was useless, nothing he did would make him like him and that set Erwin’s soul aflame. Erwin was dying by the time they went to the pub for drinks. He just wanted to please Armin, make him smile, make him like him. Three shots of patron in and he was seeing a whole new side to Armin. That little nymph had danced away with others as he was let drinking. Eren and Levi had also ended up at the bar, much to their amusement. Levi had leaned over telling Erwin that the Irish Pub was where he’d first eaten with Eren after meeting him at the lab for the first time. They had felt it an appropriate place to return to.

Both men watched from the other end of the bar as Eren and Armin put shot after shot of whiskey away like seasoned drinkers. Their hands roamed playfully across one another’s bodies while they drank. Armin made a show of letting others shower him with attention, venturing pleased smiles he’d withheld from Erwin all day. Armin had stopped dancing the second Eren arrived, planting them as far away from Levi and Erwin as he could. The more men he flirted with, the more someone on the outside would think Armin was going to go home with them. But, every so often, he’d make reassuring eye contact with Erwin. Cheating with some random stranger was not in his type of play and Erwin was thankful.

Levi was amused at Eren’s drinking ability but they had also done a few lines of coke before the night began so he knew he’d be leveling out soon. Eren made eyes at him, tilt in his smile that promised all manner of wickedness. He disappeared with Armin to the bathroom and Levi smirked, “They’re getting, you know…” Erwin pondered for a second what he meant. His eyes lit up, “But,….I wanna, you know….” He gave Levi a pleading look, “Then come with me.” Levi raised his eyebrow seductively as he walked away, parting the sea of people. Erwin chuckled following him into the empty women’s bathroom, hands playfully grabbing at his supple ass and nipping sharply at the exposed nape of Levi’s neck that was revealed after he took his jacket off.

Levi sat up on the toilet, mind spinning, body weightless. He felt Erwin’s large hand on his neck, a comforting gesture that grounded him. Erwin leaned over him snorting his fifth line through the new and crisp one hundred dollar bill. He felt lost for a moment; old memories came to the forefront of his mind. As he pulled back, he turned inwards letting his lips drag across the soft skin of Levi’s neck, pausing at the shell of his ear to sing softly, sensually, 

  
”Ay yōrum biyō (Come my mistress)  
Dildōrum biyō (Come my sweetheart)  
Dil mayli tu dōrad (My heart desires you)  
Sazōvōrum biyō (Come my worthy)”

Levi’s breath hitched, a short gasp escaping his parted lips. His head moved to the side to willing offer up more of his neck to him. Erwin left a few soft kisses before tracing a line with the tip of his nose and then with his tongue across his now warming skin, 

  
”Az Badakhshōnume (I am from Badakhshan)  
Ōrōmi jōnume (You are a piece of (or you are the peace within) my soul)  
Ba peshi man (Towards me)  
Biyō, biyō (Come, and come)”

In the poorly lit bathroom, smelling of urine with its small stand alone pedestal sink, rickety toilet paper wrack, broken sanitary napkin dispenser, and nothing to dry one’s hands on they could have been back in Israel, Egypt, Baghdad, Iraq, Iran, Morocco, Jordan, anywhere but in Maria. They could easily have just come from a mission, grazed by bullets, hands smelling like gun powder, heavy machine oils, and blood.

Erwin’s hands moved confidently onto Levi’s body, one sliding up his stomach, pressing him closer to Erwin’s chest and the other up his collar bone and around to gently but firmly clutch his throat, sliding up, pushing his head back and exposing more skin, skin Erwin could pepper with soft kisses and sharp nips. Because that’s what they’d had in those places. They had had each other, a warm body to move against, a place to call home. Someone who wouldn’t treat them like they were broken but instead they were so aware of what was broken inside of the other one that they would never violate them, this holy union, by touching it. Erwin’s voice rumbled, words tumbling out on Levi’s heated skin, vibrating in Levi’s ears, 

  
”Dilbari jōnume (You are my soul mate)  
Mōhi tōbōnume (You are my shining Moon)  
Ba peshi man (Towards me)  
Biyō, biyō (Come, and come)”

His eyes rolled to the back as Erwin sucked hard on his throat, teeth just over his jugular and his hand trailing down to his lower stomach and then to grip his crotch. Levi reached out with his arm, movements strained due to the increasing state of high he was soaring towards. He found the back of Erwin’s head, tugging him forward before crashing their mouths together. They had hungered for one another for a long time, satisfied by their lovers but nothing could completely quench the thirst they had for one another’s firm lips, grounding them, bringing them out of a haze of flashbacks, because in their previous life, one of bombs, guns, and hell fire, these lips were the reward for living another day in the rotation. These lips moved against flesh that wished it had grown cold in the ground like the others, they moved against veins and arteries that selfishly kept transporting blood to their damaged hearts, across sections of the body deemed unclean by religious ideologies and societal moral constructs, and they moved to let out the sounds of deliciously sweet sinful life that was denied to those who were no longer among them, no longer of the now, but waiting in the space before the Olam Ha-Ba.(The World to Come)

Levi pulled away, hands gripping the undercut of Erwin’s hair, his voice was lighter, more relaxed like when he was younger, a carefree child, “You just wanna fuck around because you’re delightfully miserable and so fucking horny for Armin.” Levi laughed fully, something he rarely did, as he slid off the toilet patting Erwin’s face and closing up the bag. Erwin grabbed Levi to him, each hand full of one of Levi’s firm ass cheeks, kneading them roughly. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were his captain and instructor by how brutal he’s being.” His voice made Levi shudder, it was dangerously needy. He was like a wild animal, ready to attack his chosen prey. Armin might fuck him tonight but Erwin would destroy that little nymph tomorrow. 

Levi growled after a particularly rough squeeze, “But, not as good as me, right?” Levi whispered, jealous. Erwin smirked sinfully, “No, no one could ever be as wicked as you.” They devoured each other one last time, hands fisting and pulling in each other’s hair. Erwin bit Levi’s lip so hard it drew blood. He lapped at it with his tongue as Levi groaned, aroused and so high he almost forgot they weren’t back there, back in those horribly dark days. Back where they would soon need to return to. Pulling away at that thought and successfully removing Erwin’s hands, they each finished what was on the back of the toilet and headed back out to the bar where Eren and Armin were being admired by some not so subtle patrons.

Armin’s cool gaze took in Erwin’s disheveled appearance. Eren’s eyebrow rose questioningly when he made contact with Levi. Both men shrugged them off, noting the dilated pupils of their lovers. Armin whispered to Eren before doing another shot. The men made their way over, stopping only when a few large men crowded around Eren and Armin. “Are you two single or together?” One red headed man asked, his full beard and plaid shirt made him look like an angry leprechaun in Levi’s opinion. Eren and Armin played his question off as another bought them a round of drinks. A dark haired boy slid next to Armin, “Hey, baby, you with this guy or what?” Armin took another shot, “Naw, I’m with that sack of shit over there.” He nodded towards Erwin. “Well, if he’s shit then ditch him. No point in wasting that fine ass and cute face.” He moved in closer, lips hovering for the right moment. Armin met Erwin’s eyes, “You’re absolutely right.” Erwin’s stomach clenched, he didn’t like that type of play. 

Armin’s hand darted forward passing the boy by and grabbing the collar of Eren’s hoodie. Eren managed an amused smirk as Armin brought their mouths together in a crash of lips and tongue. The bar went wild as Armin and Eren kissed and let their hands roam freely. Levi, who had sat on one of the stools at the bar, turned to Erwin, who was secretly relieved that Armin had chosen Eren but was now also even more aroused than before, to shrug and say “Well, if that isn’t the hottest shit I’ve ever seen.” Erwin nodded, shifting closer as Armin’s back tightened under his black dress shirt and Eren’s mouth fell open wantonly when he ground down on Armin’s leg, causing Levi’s half hard erection to press uncomfortably against his pants.

The boy was upset but he turned to see Erwin’s face, hoping it would be as torn up as his own dashed hopes. He didn’t see a crying mess of man, but rather a thoughtful look on his face. “Yo, your boyfriend’s sucking face with some else, you just gunna stand there?” Armin took Eren’s lip in his mouth, biting it enough to pull a whine from Eren. He held Erwin’s gaze, still cold and calculated. Erwin’s eye brow rose, _two can certainly play this game, my sweet._ Erwin turned to Levi who was watching Eren intently. His hand moved behind his head, griping it and pulling it towards him. Levi read the look on Erwin’s face. He moved up as Erwin bent down to meet his lips, just as heated as Eren and Armin were, though not near as ravenous as they had been in the bathroom. The men and women at the bar either watched in voyeuristic fascination groaned that all the good ones were taken, or were offended by the blatant show of “gay” that offended those of Maria’s conservative sensibilities. 

Erwin felt a sharp tug at his elbow as Armin’s sharp little nails pierced him through his shirt, “Let’s go, you piece of shit.” His voice was commanding, degrading, and it delighted Erwin. He was lead to the car and made to hand over the keys. Armin drove quickly yet precisely through the streets alive with couples heading to venues and such for a romantic and traditional night. That was nothing like what Armin had in store for Erwin when they got home. 

*************

As they pulled up to the house, the ice reflected on the driveway. Jean and Marco had gone to a show in Atlanta and were staying the night. It was just them and Levi and Eren. The lights had been left on to show off the house and make it look like someone was home. Erwin got out when Armin did and followed him to the front door. Once inside he took Erwin’s coat and hung it up along with his own. “Go upstairs and strip.” Erwin moved towards the staircase, “Fucking crawl, maggot.” Erwin’s knees buckled, _Dear God._ Armin’s voice echoed in the foyer, it was a lot deeper than normal and Erwin could not disobey. “I expect you standing in the middle of the room when I get in there.” Armin climbed the other set of stars leaving Erwin to finish climbing them on hands and knees. He knew better than you try and cheat when Armin disappeared. 

Once stripped, he stood for what seemed like forever in the middle of the room. Each minute increased his level of anticipation till Armin appeared, shirt removed but everything else still on, including those leather suspenders. He held a leather riding drop in his hand and had the slightest amount of make up on. His eyes were rimmed black, lashes curled, and he looked like some experienced hardcore dom who didn’t have to use theatrics to help him make a client submit. For the first time, Erwin was a little scared. 

Armin went to the armoire, pulling one of Erwin’s silk ties from it. “Put your hands behind your back.” Erwin moved his hands as Armin strode over leisurely. He tied them tightly, pulling to make sure they were secure. “Take a deep breath.” Erwin was confused but he did as he was told. As soon as he finished inhaling a swift kick knocked him down, the breath came flooding out, then another kick and he gasped. “Pathetic” Armin spat out like he really believed it. He walked around to Erwin’s head, “Since you like feet, lick my boots, lick the shit off of them with your tongue you filthy cunt.” He tried to roll his body over but Armin just put his other foot on his side, “From where you are,” his eyes burned blue like the hottest of flames, “lick.” 

After licking the entire first boot and then the second Armin had him sit up on his knees. He drug the crop against his skin, over his nipples, down his stomach, beneath his scrotum, and then to the cleft of his ass where he caressed it. “Bitch, what’s it like?” Erwin cleared his throat, “What do you mean?” Armin pressed against Erwin’s back, his cool skin burned Erwin’s, “What’s it like kissing Levi?” His hand tangled in Erwin’s hair, pulling painfully, “What’s it like kissing a real man?” The crop snapped against his skin. It was followed by a quick succession as Erwin groaned from pleasure and pain. Armin’s small hand fisted even tighter wrenching his head back where he kissed him, dominating his mouth. When Armin pulled back, a trail of saliva still attached, he smirked, his voice low and seductive, “I think I can still taste him.” His wicked smile told Erwin he knew that was one his biggest triggers.

Armin moved back around, he gripped Erwin’s chin, “Open wide,” inserting his fingers in his mouth choking him. “Take it like a man.” Armin continued to finger fuck his mouth till his eyes watered and he started really choking. He pulled out, gripping Erwin’s face tighter so that he didn’t look away before sucking on each finger and moaning like a whore, “Yeah, I can definitely taste him still. I wish I was fucking that tonight.” He walked back around to leave more red crisscross marks on his back, bottom, and thighs. 

He returned to the front, “I’ll give you this, you don’t speak unless spoken to. There’s something you know how to do right.” His thumb traced along Erwin’s bottom lip, “You like to suck cock, bitch?” Erwin nodded yes before finding Armin’s thick cock in his mouth, stretching his lips and gagging him. He sucked him, tongue lapping at the slit and around, he took him deeper into his throat regardless of the discomfort, but nothing drew a sound from Armin save his quickening breath. Armin’s eyes stayed open the entire time taking in Erwin’s wrecked appearance. Erwin could feel the marks on his skin grow hotter the more aroused he got from Armin’s stare. 

Armin pulled out before he got too lost. He left his hard cock out on display before turning around and fetching some lube from the armoire and walking back to Erwin. “You don’t get to come until I say so. If you do, you’ll be punished and it won’t be enjoyable no matter how perverse your tastes are. Bend over.” Erwin did so but that wasn’t enough for Armin’s liking. He pushed Erwin forward, slamming the side of his face against the hard wooden floor, skin pulling against it harshly. Armin’s fingers were at his entrance, he that he was incredibly tight, probably from having not been fucked in ages. Once inside he started crooking his fingers and searching for his sweet spot. Once he found it he made sure to avoid it making Erwin whimper and cry out. Armin met his cries with sharp slaps to his ass and mocking laughter. 

Once he was stretched to the bare minimum, he knew Erwin wanted it rough, Armin lined himself up with his entrance. He stroked the red skin of his buttocks before slamming inside surprising Erwin and reducing him to a quivering writhing mess beneath him. He kept up a brutal and unrelenting pace as Erwin cried tears of pleasure and pain while his face rubbed against the unforgiving floor. The whole time, as agreed upon, Armin did his best to degrade him and mock him. “You’re a sick fuck, you know that. You fuck a boy seven years your junior and now you’re getting fucked by him.” Erwin cried out as he started hitting his prostate, “That’s it, cry, cry you little bitch. You never satisfy me. Did you know that? I’m always thinking of other things when we’re together, other people.” Erwin shuddered physically, “I’m thinking about what it must be like for Eren, getting pounded by Levi and I wonder how that would feel. I think about when Jean and Eren used to fuck me. I’m just not satisfied with you and why would I be? You can’t make me like you.” Armin’s laugh echoed in the room, he knew that was going to do it for Erwin. 

Redubbing his efforts to bring Erwin to the precipice he kept repeating the very thing that eats at Erwin’s core. Erwin wants to be liked and respected because he thinks he deserves it. He’s the leader, he’s the commander, he’s guy with the answers. “It wouldn’t matter if you gave me all the salt in the sea, you still couldn’t make me like you or anyone else like you for that matter.” Erwin was a mess under him, so close and bucking to meet Armin’s every move. “Do you want to come, bitch?” Armin grunted out, sneer visible in his tone, “Y-y-yes-s-s” Erwin moaned. “Then come. I’m not going to touch your cock, fucking come from me fucking your tight ass alone.” And Erwin did just that, emptying his seed on the floor harder than he’d come in last three years. Armin followed, emptying inside of him and biting back his moans. 

*************

Armin untied Erwin’s arms, rubbing at them and taking stock of the marks he’d left all over him. He pulled out, moving to his side and whispering soothing praises, “you did you so good, daddy” and “shhhushhh let’s get you on the bed. Good daddy, the best daddy.” He got Erwin into the bed, grabbing a towel from the bathroom and warm wet rag before began cleaning Erwin and himself off. He wrapped him in the sheets tightly propping him up and looking around, “Do you want your pajamas?” Erwin was still high and a little dazed but he came to when he asked him a second time, “Just my pants. You can wear my shirt, baby.” He smiled, it was small but it was there and made Armin feel better. He’d been an absolute asshole terror to him all day and had taken a lot of risks in their play. He was happy to see Erwin had understood all it, as was to be expected when you not only had the blessing of the man but also his incredible mind that could think things through a lot better than others.

Armin helped ease Erwin’s pants on, rubbing lotion on his bruised and battered skin before securing them on his hips. Armin then pulled on his knee high bunny socks, black sleeper shorts, and a large red Hanes tshirt Erwin often wore to bed before climbing in with him. He reached over and got a bottle of PowerAde out of the small fridge Erwin had put in when he was sick, handing it to Erwin to drink. Erwin finished off the bottle before tossing it in the trash where it landed with a thud. Armin pressed himself against his back spooning him, “You’re the best, daddy. I loved everything you did for me and got me.” Erwin hummed as Armin scratched and massaged his back paying special attention to his scarred arm. “I love you, do you wanna watch something on Netflix since we’re still awake.” Armin giggled as Erwin searched for the remote handing it to him, “I want to watch _America’s Worst Cooks_ ” his voice was scratchy and Armin felt bad for being the cause, “Are you okay?” Erwin hummed, “Of course, baby. You did well. You’re spoiling me.” He giggled quietly, “Baby, Yyou can read me like an open book. I’m fucking terrified of you and your powers. You should enter the military and go into interrogation.” Armin snuggled closer, pressing his nose to Erwin’s neck smelling the familiar scent of shampoo and cologne.

Armin and Erwin were on the third episode before they heard the music from Levi’s room faintly down the hall. Erwin perked up, “Levi doesn’t normally have sex to music.” Armin giggled, “Eren’s idea. He heard some song the other day and wanted to dance to it for Levi. He’s a really good dancer. Probably should teach strippers to be honest.” Erwin snickered, “Levi might put him to shame. He can work a pole.” Armin snuggled closer, “God, you have such wonderful stories. I want them all. I want all of you.” He whispered the last sentence into Erwin’s skin but he heard, “You’ll get all of me, Armin. If you really want it.” They laid in silence a few more moments longer. “What’s the song?” Erwin was curious and Armin paused the show to hear the music better.

  
Mardha vaistadan (men are standing)  
Zanaa miraghsan (women are dancing)  
Negah mikonam (I watch)

  
Oriental dress  
The one you love is a mess 

  
Mardha vaistadan (men are standing)  
Zanaa miraghsan (women are dancing)  
Negah mikonam (I watch)

Erwin’s blood went cold. “Where did he hear this song?” Armin wrinkled his nose, “I don’t know. He figured it was on the Spotify, you know, how they suggest songs now if you don’t pay or if they’re feeling particularly sadistic like Pandora.” Erwin accepted that as a very possible and more than likely answer. Armin sensed his discomfort, “You’re not okay. How can I make you feel okay?” Erwin turned over on his side, head bent to still see the TV and Armin’s nose. _The cutest and most precious nose in all of existence,_ he thought as he took his hand bringing it up to his lips for a kiss. “I’m fine Armin, you did well. I’m not broken.” He chuckled as the beat still played on. _How does Levi feel?_ Armin’s eyes were suspicious “Do you know the song?” Erwin shrugged, “No, I thought so but I’ve never heard it.” He reached over to grab his phone he’d put on the charge. 

Armin started tracing patterns on his skin and talked softly while Erwin typed away on his phone shooting off a message to Levi. By now the song had stopped and they were clearly engaging in adult activities. Eren was incredibly loud. It made Armin and Erwin chuckle knowing how quiet Levi normally was and from what Erwin had told Armin he was equally as quiet in bed. Armin asked if he was that bad but Erwin promised his wasn’t, kissing his little button nose before snuggling in for the night. 

Armin’s eyes closed as the drugs finally came to an end. The drowsy affect of the alcohol taking hold. Erwin still had a bit to go so he busied himself stroking Armin’s features softly and day dreaming. He thought about what a little Armin would look like, what their personality would be like with them as their parents. He knew adoption was the most common route but have kids that were blood related made things easier when it came to hospital paper work, emergencies, and being married in the south legally was still a precarious thing. Armin’s sweet little breaths warmed the skin of his fingers as he ghosted over his cherubic lips. Erwin was a softie at heart, prone to grandiose dreams and imaginings and Armin was his muse. If only they could have their own children, them together and not through another woman.

His phone vibrated, he knew it had to be Levi. He slowly reached back for his phone. He turned the screen’s back light down as not to bother Armin before opening their conversation :

**To Levi:** This song. Are you okay? Should I have Armin ask to turn it off?

**From Levi:** We can never leave _Bad City_ , Erwin. One day, they’re going roll us down into that pit with all the others. 

Erwin didn’t go to sleep; instead, he cried silently till the dawn came up. He couldn’t forget what he saw and he couldn’t shake the feeling that Levi’s words were true and they were coming and they were going to put them in the cold hard ground with all the others, covering them over with yellow sand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

February came and went. Mid March was stormy, cold, and dark. Levi felt like a constant cloud hung over him as he tried to juggle work, travel plans, time with Eren, running a household, and being an all around functioning person as he contacted ghosts from his past. He also kept reminding himself that Eren’s birthday was the same weekend they were all going to Atlanta and he needed to plan a hotel room with Erwin since Armin and Eren wanted to share. Jean’s birthday was right after his and he needed to get him something, maybe a pony.

Hanji had started acting stranger and stranger. He could tell something was unraveling inside of them. He tried to get them to talk but they kept brushing him off with “soon” and “I promise I’ve just got a lot on my mind.” But that didn’t fool Levi, not when he worked with them side by side, not when he trusted Eren’s life in their hands.

Eren was exhausted most of the time. Even with Marco coming in now every week to participate they were both put through the ringer. Jean would come and offer moral support and sometimes acted as a control. So far, promising strides had been made in their research and Levi was feeling excited about going to France with this great foundation he could build on. He needed to make this something that wasn’t permanent, wasn’t chemically altering to the brain long-term, and was safe for self administration. He needed to contain this before he unleashed it on the masses. No one wanted this getting into the wrong hands.

He walked into the lab, sitting down at his desk. Eren was eating a bag of gummy bears with Jean as Marco ran on the treadmill. Hanji had been unusually quiet, unnerving everyone. Jean had gotten her to open up more than Levi. He had an ability to get people to share with him their problems. Marco said that was because he was relatable and had an honest face. They told him they’d been feeling sick and that today was worse than usual. It was probably due to their lack of sleep and they hadn’t been eating right. They promised they knew that they needed to fix it and Jean had shrugged saying “shit happens. Just take care of yourself.” 

Levi turned on his computer opening his programs and checking his email. He rubbed and stroked Donner’s soft fur, relishing in the comforting effect it had on him. Eren’s voice fluttered into his mind like the sound of wind off a raven’s wings. He heard a beep from his computer, opening his eyes he was greeted to a black window open in the top left corner, a window that looked like he was about to start writing lines of code. He tried to exit out, thinking he’d bumped something before he’d left or while he checked his email. The box would not close. He sat back, obviously he rationalized that it had to circulate through old commands, his clicking had froze it, overloaded it. But then the screen blinked and he felt a surge of anxiety, the box started filling with words: 

  
You see me, but you never notice.  
Speak to me, but never listen.  
You invite me in, but never host me.  
You treat me like everyone else, but make it clear I am _'ajnabi_.  
You took our land and offered us sand.  
You call me _Ger_ , but you have no idea.  
Our faith supersedes all others.  
To you I am merely one in a series, neither pleasing nor offending. I am The Great Destroyer.  
Get off my land. 

Panic, sheer panic overtook him. Donner growled, standing up and barking. Then all the phones started to beep, a Maria alert, “Tornado warning.” They felt it, felt it in their bones. It was close. It couldn’t be explained but Donner was barking and they knew that it was so close to them that finding shelter was crucial. _Boots clicking….boots on concrete clicking….._

Levi gasped, chest tight. _Erwin._ He opened his phone, still running. Boots clicking as they came outside, gravel crunching, _No gun_ , the calm, the eerie clam before the storm. “Erwin! Where are you?” Erwin was in the car on his way to Mike. “Why?” Mike didn’t have his phone. He left it at lunch with Erwin. He wouldn’t know. The tornado was going to head to the silos; it’s at the pecan field. “Get inside Levi. Is Armin with you?” _Gravel underneath the rubber sole, glass shards in my heels, no gun, no gun on my back….Dear God….where am I?_ “Erwin, no, pull over and get inside somewhere. Please, Erwin, bitte, bitte.” Erwin sighs; the engine stops, door opens, keys left in the ignition and the alarm beeps, running, running on soft earth, running on rocks, running in a field. _Running behind me, boots on concrete, gun on my back, where are we? Touch me, let me know you’re there. Let me feel you, alive and well. Touch me._ “I can’t leave him, Levi. I can’t. I have to try. Stay safe, find Armin. I love you.” _Endless nights, tortured days, concrete floors, bloody sleeping mats, I love you, promises made._ “ERWIN! ERWIN!”

Into the Command Center, how far they had run. Sirens and rain, stinging rain, the wind screams. It howls like people burning. _They burned all of them. Burned them to ash._ Down the stairs, sirens blared, wind screamed, rain stung, lighting cracked, and the sky opened up and it was dark and it was as black as endless night. It was like…. _hell isn’t real, the devil is a lie. Gehenna is all there is, a pit of fire_ It was like if God hated everything, _Because the devil does not exist._ Eren’s hands, _Erwin’s hands_ , rushed words, soothing words, Hanji’s tears, _on Passover Seder we drink the salt water to remember how we suffered,_ Erwin’s words and Eren’s words, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you… _don’t let me go. Don’t let me go. Don’t forsake me here, here in all my ugly loneliness!_

Armin and Mikasa, huddled in the corner, _where we pressed ourselves to hide_ , Eren and Jean viciously fighting, Marco soothing Hanji, _Where is Mike? Did Erwin find him? The Pecan fields were so close. Where would they hide?_ Sirens blaring, wind howling, Sirens blaring, the earth moves. The earth moves and God is angry. 

  
_”Cain, where is your brother Abel?”  
_“I do not know. Who am I, my brother’s keeper?”__

And then everything for Levi went silent.


	22. Nothing but the blood

The sirens receded after a half hour. They’d blared the entire time but as the storm passed over them at the worst part they were reduced to a slight buzz barely audible above the crying, praying, and chatter of the students inside the basement. Above them were eight floors of brick, re-enforced steel, and concrete. If the building were to ever fail, they’d be buried alive. 

Eren turned to see Levi slumped against the wall with his eyes closed. Donner licked at his face as his hands fisted in the thick black fur. Eren noticed tears flowing freely down his face. He took his hand and pulled him along as they all started to file out of the building, Mikasa splitting off trying to get a hold of Annie and Hanji running to their car with everyone else following. Eren pulled Levi along like dead weight till they came around the side of the mechanical engineering building to see Hanji ripping at their car door while hysterically crying, “He’s not answering! Mike isn’t answering, my Gooood. Whhyyy?” Eren came up behind them, Jean on his heels. They handed them over their keys and Eren opened the car door to drive. They all got inside, Hanji, Jean and Marco, Armin, and Levi and Donner. Eren put the car in drive and started out towards the pecan fields. The roads were covered in debris, insulation from homes, wood, pieces of people’s lives littered around. Eren drove around what he could, using caution since there was no power and the lights didn’t work. He speed through as Jean, who had jumped up front in the passenger seat, helped guide him. Hanji wailed between Armin and Marco. Levi was silent in the back.

After the sixth time of asking Levi what Erwin had said Hanji turned around to find him staring into the void, tears streaking his face. They held up their fingers next to his ear and snapped a few times. Hanji turned around, “Eren, say something to Levi. Say something, loudly.” Eren was currently stuck in the mud at the entrance to the field; the rain had over saturated the already wet ground. He knew that Erwin had taken this route, his tracks still faintly visible. “What?” Hanji repeated her request, “Levi! LEVI?! Can you hear me?!” Nothing, he just stroked Donner’s fur as he licked at his tears. Hanji took a deep breath before shakily exhaling, “He’s gone deaf…” The car was silent save for Eren’s strangled sob as they pulled up to where the tracks ended.

There was no car; there was no silo in the distance. There was only grass. 

**Erwin**

Mike called Erwin asking him to lunch. He’d been out in the pasture all day working on the old silos trying to garner some inspiration for his thesis. They met at the small _Myrtle Cafe_. Mike plopped down, eyes shining; he took a whiff of the smells of the café as Erwin finished grading some papers. “Well, old man, I wanted to talk to you about something.” Erwin looked up; his strawberry lemonade sparkled in the light. It had reminded him of Armin so he got it. He was pleased that even in the cold weather it wasn’t too much. It had been sweet and a little tart, just like Armin. “If it’s about the horses, the barn’s almost finished. We had to, you know, demolish and rebuild a lot of things after that night. Levi couldn’t stand the cellar in the bottom of the barn.” 

Mike nodded, “No, that’s okay. The horses are fine where they are.” He smiled and Erwin believed him. Mike cleared his throat sitting back against the metal folding chair, “I’m going to ask Hanji to marry me.” Erwin’s eyebrows rose in pleasant surprise, “That’s a big deal!” Mike smiled even brighter, “Yeah, they’ve been acting weird lately so I think they know. I’d saved up a lot of money for a ring and I need to do it soon. They’ve got me worried they’ll find it. You know I’m shit at hiding stuff.” He chuckled removing a small ring box from his pocket. Opening the box, Erwin was greeted to the sight of a rather large pear shape diamond set in white gold with two stones on either side, one red and the other green. “Ruby and Emerald, it’s an inside joke between us and I thought they offset the pear shape well.” Erwin chuckled, “You lost me at inside joke. You’re just repeating what the jeweler said after that.” Mike snorted, “True but let me take credit for it, why don’t you?” They ate their lunch in peace as Mike worried if Hanji would say yes and Erwin assured him they would.

Erwin had stayed a little longer at the café than Mike, finding his forgotten cell phone after a quick sweep of the table. He was just pulling out on his way to the house to work from the home office, his classes had stacked up the midterms on him, when he heard a beep on his cell phone. He assumed it was Armin leaving class and heading to the house to work with him. Armin had helped him grade some while he had free time. It made Erwin feel bad that he needed help but also a bit proud of how smart Armin was and how well they worked together. That was when he heard the emergency weather forecast on the radio. It wasn’t even necessary; the funnel was over the interstate in the distance. With sick fascination he watched the lightning, the specks of debris that circled around. He heard the forecast say it would probably miss campus but hit the pecan fields, the silo, and end at the Maria Paradise community. His instinct kicked in, _no one get’s left behind._ Erwin’s foot met the gas and he speed through light after light heading to Mike.

When his phone went off again he answered. Levi’s pleading voice ripped him apart inside. Going against him was like going against his own self, he almost pulled over. Selfishly he thought that maybe Mike had gone to the store before returning but that wasn’t like him. Once he had a task he was set on it. He told Levi to find Armin, stay safe, that he loved him. If those were his last words then he could live with it. He was running towards the silo. The storm was over them, looming above the tree line. The wind burned against his skin, the rain delayed by the eye. Then there was the silence. The silence was the worst because it reminded him of the moment of calm before an IED took out one of your best men, one of your friends, maybe one of your limbs. He ran inside finding Mike bent over plans with his noise cancelling headphones on, jawsaw still warm and other equipment lay nearby. He grabbed him; there was not time to explain. 

Outside the funnel was right there. He knew the moment Mike figured it out. His knees buckled and Erwin ripped his shirt pulling him across the open pasture, _”Just tell me, Levi…tell me and I’ll make everything alright.”_ They needed to find a ditch, something to lay in, something sturdy to bed down in, _”I got in the pool”, Armin wet and covered in blood, his smile, Levi’s smile._ Erwin ran faster as debris crashed around them, whipping through the trees. It was like a sick game. God was playing with him. _Running, running into the warehouse,_ Erwin saw the ground slope down, _”just give me a chance,”_ Mike stumbled, _“ tell me what you need. I’ll make everything alright if you’d just let me.”_ Mike scrambled up, hands cut and bleeding. _Levi’s hands, “I just want to take care of you.”_ They were so close. A grain barrel bounced along the ground, rusty and loud as the metal reverberated with each bounce. It barely missed both men, clearing Erwin by mere inches and clipping Mikes shoulder with a deafening thud. Mike’s hand tightened around Erwin’s as he yelled in pain. _A note on the table, Armin’s handwriting, “I love you, daddy. Let’s eat Chinese and watch Marco Polo tonight. Your baby.”_ Erwin slid down the embankment pulling Mike along with him, into an empty pond, it looked like a mass grave, he screamed, _guns firing, empty shells in the sand, bodies…everywhere, “this is Bad City , boy…every one of them must die”,_ The sky opened up, black like endless night, black like charred flesh.

Erwin and Mike tried to bed down, huddling against one another, _Levi’s tears, His fevered whispers, “Babi Yar…it’s like Babi Yar, Erwin. How many did they kill here? How many children?”_ The rain stung them and the mud swallowed them, red clay staining everything, staining everything like blood. _Shells, endless firing, guns off shoulders and left on marble top café tables, guns in hands that boasted gold wedding bands, guns on the floor of piss stained bathrooms, empty shells littered the streets, the need for ammunition born out of scarcity, “spit on them shells and clean the blood off, boy. Or I’ll shoot you next.”_

The wind howled, it howled with the sorrow of those in the pit. The people Erwin left behind. The people Levi tried to save before he lost his mind. _this is necessary, life feeds on life feeds on life feeds on life feeds on life feeds on life feeds on life feeds on life,_ The debris started pummeling their exposed skin, _Levi firing into the pile of bodies, face dirty and alive with hate, Levi screaming for him down the crowded streets when he ducked into a shop to buy a coke,_ Mike clutched his shoulder as Erwin pulled the collar of his jacket higher, the ground shook, _“There is no devil,” Levi lips, “Of course there is a devil, Levi. He lives in the atrocities that man commits.”_ The light disappeared, everything was dark like living in the smoke of funeral pyres, _Levi’s hips, Levi dancing in the barracks for men, Levi paid for tricks, "How much for a kiss?" Levi's smirk, "6000."_ The sound so loud Erwin thought that the trumpets of the horsemen were being blown, _"6000 is a lot, Levi." Levi's hands on his thigh, "Yeah, but you're already in love so what's that but a drop in the bucket. rich boy?" Levi crying when he told Donner to leave them in the rubble, Levi strangling the man who assaulted them with his own shoelaces._ The ground moved, he thought it was opening up to swallow him, the rain stung, the wind crushed him with its weight, heavy with guilt, _”I want all of you, I can’t wait to go to France with you. I love you, Erwin. I love all of you.” The feather light soft kisses on his scarred arm._ "Armin please be okay..."

_"What can wash away my sins? Nothing but the blood of Jesus."_

_"HA! Nothing but the blood of that little Jew over there, boy. He'll be the death of you."_

Erwin’s fingers dug into the muddy earth, stained red with generations of blood, as they both slowly started lifting from the ground.


	23. Wake Up to Life

Armin sat in the shadows near the rear of the barracks. His uniform pressed and hair wet form the showers. His lips parted as his eyes closed, head tilted to the side. He was tired but the show proved too good to pass up. In front of him were staggered chairs pulled from around the base, hard metal and heavy plastic. The other men smoked, drank leisurely from their plastic cups and enjoyed the show. The windows were covered with heavy grates to keep out shrapnel from a possible mortar shelling. But, as with most precautions, they’d do little if one came through the roof. 

He shifted, pulling at the fabric just above the tops of his thighs, pants suddenly tighter, and he licked his pale lips. His skin was flushed and a little sun burnt, especially on the tip of his nose and cheek bones. The music filled the room like the shadows, expanding till it nearly burst the trailer. The dull thud of the bass and whirlwind flourish of trilled notes and electronica created a warm and almost seedy atmosphere. Erwin approached Armin, clad in his fatigue pants and blue tshirt. His boots clicked on the faux wood floor. Armin didn’t turn away from the point he and everyone else was fixed on. Erwin reached out to grasp his shoulder, “Baby?” His voice was small and it hurt, “Baby, why are you here?” Armin’s head turned, his eyes were cloudy from arousal but he smiled sweetly at Erwin, “I’m here for the same reason everyone else is.” Erwin didn’t understand, “Why?” Armin turned to the front again; he raised his hand, “To watch him dance.” Erwin turned to the front. In the darkness there was a lone figure, carved from marble his skin glowed in the pale back light from old confiscated neon signs. His pants rested below his hip flexors, enticing the eye as his hips swayed in time with the music with the allure of a thousand harem dancers. Levi was resplendent.

Armin touched Erwin’s shoulder, lightly as not to scare him. Erwin turned to meet him, his tears flowing freely. Armin stood up, wiping them from his face, “You’ve got to wake up now, daddy.” He managed a small compassionate smile as he stroked Erwin’s face lovingly. He pulled back in the shadows and all that was left was Erwin and Levi till Levi, too, faded into thin wisps of shadow and night. All that was left were the empty chairs and neon lights, 

Erwin watched as the empty room spun into thick carpets and fine curtains. The scratch of the needle on the record player, his mother’s voice, the shuffle of papers, his father’s office, “What would you be willing to do, Erwin?” Erwin was just a child, “What would you be willing to do to help people?” Erwin watched his younger self think, “Why are you asking me this?” Erwin’s father smiled, “Ah no reason. I’ll ask when you’re older.” Then he was a teen, “What would you be willing to sacrifice to help people?” He saw himself ponder, “I’d sacrifice my free time.” Erwin’s father smiled again, “Ehh well, not really the answer I was looking for.” Erwin’s brow furrowed, “Why are you asking me this?” His father shrugged laughing, “Pay no mind to me. I’ll ask when you’re older.” 

But then Erwin was older, he stood before him age 20 just returned from a tour, “What would you be willing to sacrifice to help others?” Erwin didn’t hesitate, “Myself, I’d sacrifice my life for my fellow man and country.” His father tapped the edge of his latest publication, “Mmm. But what is that worth?” The same look of confusion. “What is my life worth?” His father sighed, “Yes, what is it worth? How much is a life? How do we define the worth of life? What is the price for everything, what is the price…for a nation, a people, a home, or even a couch or mattress? Is a mattress worth a life? One hundred lives? One thousand lives? What is your life worth, Erwin?” The windows burst, it was all slow motion. He watched as the yellow sand poured in, consuming his father and everything else. He was choking on yellow sand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Erwin’s eyes opened, the sky was grey and the rain was light and cool on his face. He couldn’t move, pinned to the ground beneath a collection of things: wood, metal cages and fence sections, part of the silo was on top of the pond with mangled trees. He could only see through the sections betwixt the branches. He looked side to side for Mike, “Mike! Mike! Can you hear me?” It was silent save the sound of rain drops on the thin metal tin.

The silence stretched on, “Mike?” Erwin’s eyes watered, _Mike, oh God…_ Then suddenly, “Here…to your side. I’m bad off, shoulder is completely shattered and my mid section is carrying most of the weight from damn the silo. It could crush me, Erwin. I might die. I’m not going to bullshit you and I don’t want you to bullshit me either. No fucking fillers about “its gunna be fine, bro.” I ain’t got time for that.” Erwin looked to his side where his voice was coming from and sure enough Mike was about five feet away pinned down like Erwin but in a much more precarious situation.

There were metal beams and tree limbs laying over him. It wasn’t shifting yet, but the area of the pond they were in was about eight to ten feet deep, the ground muddy and wet. “Mike, just talk to me. Can you breath and everything alright?” Mike huffed, “Yeah, it’s a little tight but I’m good. Just this damn shoulder. That fucking barrel. Hurt like a son of a bitch.” Erwin laughed, “Yeah, almost got my head.” Mike coughed, “What the fuck were you thinking Erwin?” His voice was softer, disappointed. “What?” Mike looked through the trees, watching the clouds twist, “You’ve got Levi, Armin, and Eren to think about. You fucking came out here and risked all of that for me. You’re so fucking stupid.” Erwin’s face contorted, “You’re my best friend, and I’m going to be your best man. If you die, there isn’t going to be a wedding. Hanji, what would that have made me in their eyes if I hadn’t come to help you? You left your phone at lunch. I’m responsible for you.” Mike cut him off, “You ain’t responsible for me. You ain’t my commander. I’m thankful, don’t get me wrong. I’d be a mangled mess right now if I’d stayed in the silo but we’re so fucked, Erwin. We’re so fucked right now.” 

They watched the sky turn dark, turn to night and the temperature drop to almost freezing. Wet and unable to move their prospects were grim. Mike had started going in and out of shock. Erwin made him keep talking, the cruel irony was they were both soaking wet but thirsty. They thought they heard voices but nothing ever came close to them. It was possible it looked like just rubble and not a pond from the outside. Erwin actively tried to force his anxiety down as memories of being trapped under the rubble of that warehouse started forcing their way into reality, like mirages made of nightmares. Who would find them? Would anyone find them? _Armin, baby, I woke up but I can’t fight if I’m pinned down._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bertolt and Reiner moved along the pasture with Annie looking for any trace of Mike and Erwin. Mikasa was with Eren and Armin searching one section while Marco and Jean searched the other. Levi had indeed lost his hearing and was at the car with Hanji, waiting, waiting for anything. Hanji had told Annie when she asked about Levi’s sudden deafness that he may never regain it. It was rare but happens sometimes and is attributed to PTSD. If he would regain it it’d be at least six to nine months and even then it may not be like it was before. Annie couldn’t handle any of that so she left silently, walking into the areas of tall uncut grass as the light started to fade. Levi, in her opinion, deserved a fucking break.

Reiner had stopped near the tree line of an area they’d passed by several times. His golden hawkish eyes rested on a pile mangled metal and tree limbs. It looked like there used to be a pond for the cows to drink from. He hooked his flashlight to his work overalls, striding confidently over to the pile. They were in there. He felt it in his bones. “Erwin, Mike!” He stood at the edge, definitely a bed gone dry. “Erwin Smith!” He unclipped his flashlight shinning down through the branches, something pale and gold, blonde, eyes, the reflection of light on eyes, it was one of them, “Erwin Smith!?” 

Erwin was tired, cold, dehydrated, and this seemed like another cruel mirage. “Y-yes. It’s u-us.” His voice burned. Reiner whistled, Bertolt came running along with Annie, “Here! THEY’RE HERE!” The three of them stood at the edge looking at where Mike and Erwin laid and what was on top of them. After a few tense moments of surveying the situation Annie made her decision. “Erwin,” Annie’s cool voice pierced the moment like a knife through butter, “We can only save one of you. When we move the metal pieces it’s going to need to go one way or the other and it’ll crush one you to death before we get the other out. I’m sorry, but you both need to decide before we start.” She paused, eyes meeting Erwin’s own, “Or I’ll chose. It’ll all be on me.” Mike sighed loudly, looking over to Erwin, “Erwin. Go, go on. You go,” Mike’s head rolled back to look at the metal beams on top of him, “live Erwin.”

Erwin’s body shook, _”What would you be willing to sacrifice? What is a life? How much is it worth and how does one qualify its worth? Do we look at the monetary value of it or the quality of life that person would lead if allowed to live? Or, are some people just worth more than others?”_ Erwin sobbed, “No, noooo” Mike’s mouth formed a grim line, his eyes shut tightly fighting back tears, “Yes” his voice a mere whisper, “Nooooo” Erwin wailed, crushing moments of his past flew behind his eyes, “It’s my turn!” his voice was vicious and desperate, “It’s my time! I’ll not be the reason you die. Noooooo.” Erwin choked on his own sob as Mike started to cry more, “Pleeeaaaseeee, LET ME DIE! I DESERVE TO DIE. I’VE OUTLIVED EVERYONE. LET IT BE ME!” Reiner and Bertolt exchanged shocked and pitiful looks as Annie looked down at her watch, “You have to make a choice. You have thirty seconds.” Mike sobbed, “No, Erwin it’s easier to get you out! Look, look at this shit. I’m as good as dead.” Erwin shook violently, eyes wild, mouth open, and tears poring over his bottom lashes, “I DON’T CARE, MIKE! GOD, LET IT BE ME!” He took a deep breath, head lulling to the side, “ANNIE! TAKE MIKE. GET MIKE OUT ALIVE.” Annie turned to Reiner, his voice small, “Ann…” She shook her head, “They made their decision. We have to do it now before it shifts on its own and kills them both. It’s too cold, Reiner. It’s too cold and wet.”

Bertolt and Reiner started moving the first parts, working together in a seamless fashion born of years of trust and familiarity. Annie oversaw them helping them when it required a smaller body for digging out dangerous parts that could get loose and hurt those below. The pile started to shift as metal and wood rubbed together. Mike and Erwin were calm despite the circumstances. Erwin turned to Mike, “Tell Armin, I love him. Tell him, I love him so much that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.” Erwin started to violently sob again as the metal beam started shifting to his side of the pond, “And tell Levi,” His mouth was open in a silent scream before stuttering, “T-t-tell L-l-e-evi…tell Lee not to go back to _bad city._ Tell him, I’m waiting for him and I love him so much.” _Mike nodded as Erwin closed his eyes, the weight increasing on his body, ”Whatever souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”_

The beams started shifting till one suddenly fell on both men, crushing them. “Erwin, Mike, you’re going to have to hold the beam up. You have to or it won’t work.” Annie sounded calm but her eyes were alive with worry, Reiner had overestimated his hold on the beam below allowing it slip. The entire pile started to shift down on the men, pushing on Mike and Erwin till the feared they would suffocate. Bertolt had the other end, pressing it up while nearly bucking from the weight, his teeth bit into the soft flesh of his lip, blood dripping down his chin. 

Erwin pushed up, keeping it from crushing him and Mike as Mike strained to help, body revolting against him and causing him to groan and yell out. Erwin’s injured arm was quickly getting tired, old aches inflamed as bone and screws grinded together harshly making him whine. _At least when I die this fucking arm won’t hurt anymore,_ he though bitterly as Annie made her way deeper into the pile, a dangerous job without any equipment and just instinct to guide her. She appeared, a vague denizen of the night, griping Mike by his shoulders and pulling him out with all of her strength. Reiner and Bertolt grunted as the pile shifted on her way back up. Erwin started to black out, his chest was slowly being crushed by the shifted material. 

She pulled them out falling back on the ground with a thud as Mike gasped, finally able to breathe properly. His stomach was bruised black and worrisome to her eye. She prepared for the inevitable shifting of metal and the screams of Erwin. But, when she heard none, she turned around in the pitch black of night where only two flashlights could be seen, “Annie, come hold this.” Reiner bit out through his clenched jaw, “What?” Reiner’s voice was strained but determined, “Come relieve me. I’ll get him out but only if you hold this while I do it. No more than three minutes. Come on.” Annie’s eyes watered, “You could die. You’ll be crushed.” She whispered into the darkness. Reiner knew that, but he couldn’t let Erwin die like this, “DO IT!”

Annie took over in Reiner’s place, the weight almost too much for her. She felt Mike come from behind; his shoulder sagged strangely against her back. He helped her as much as he could, coughing up blood as they stood with their bodies pressed together and Bertolt whined, “Don’t die, Reiner, don’t fuck this up. Please, Reiner.” Reiner moved through the debris, it’s shifting continuing to crush Erwin. Erwin groaned, the pressure quickly becoming too much. He held the main beam, the one that would end him, up as his arm began to give way. It faltered when Reiner was almost on him causing Reiner to slip and more weight rest on Erwin. He screamed out into the darkness, out into the branches and twisted metal, but cut off as soon as he saw Reiner’s face illuminated by the flashlight clipped to his shirt collar. “Lift here” Erwin felt his hands, “And then slide up.” Erwin and Reiner lifted as Erwin drug his heavy body out from under the beam. 

Both men huddled in the small space between debris. They lowered the beam as best they could without disturbing more and prepared for the mad dash they’d have to make to get out through the small opening Annie had made for her trip down. Reiner’s arm looped around Erwin’s waist before he pulled him along with him as they drug and climbed their way out, hands and feet only finding purchase for a few seconds as everything started to collapse inward. Large splinters and rusted pieces of fences cut them and stabbed into the soft flesh of their stomachs and legs. When they emerged, scraped and bruised, they emerged outside onto the hard icy ground. Erwin’s lungs inflated fully, the crisp air burned but he welcomed it, anything than dying in the cold wet pit. Anything was better than that. _Armin, I’m coming home to you._

Annie’s slight form stood over Erwin, “Mike has internal bleeding and a broken shoulder. Are you seriously injured?” Her tone suggested she would receive a yes but instead Erwin coughed and replied no, he was hurt but not as bad as Mike. They carried both men to the cars where Hanji and Levi sat in the open back, lights off, only just illuminated by the thin rays of moonlight between the clouds. Donner stood up whimpering as they approached. He made no move to leave Levi. All Hanji could see were three flashlights bouncing in the distance. Once they were closer and they saw Mike they bounded off the car crying and grabbing him. Annie pushed her back, “Hospital, NOW. Get in the car.” Hanji nodded running to the driver’s door and opening it. 

Levi’s eyes were closed, the wind blew in his hair, _I’ll never hear music again. I’ll never hear Eren’s laugh, Erwin’s voice as he sings at the piano, Armin’s witty retort, Hanji’s screeching, Donner’s growl, nothing. What if…Erwin…where are you?_ He had been so lost in his own thoughts he missed Hanji’s exit. He felt two large hands on either side of his face. _Eren?_ Opening his eyes, he saw a familiar outline. He’d never forget Erwin Smith, never. _He wore this man like a second skin._ Erwin’s face was illuminated when the car door opened. He looked horrible, shaking violently, muddy, cut up, bruised, and soaking wet. Erwin’s lips were moving and Levi couldn’t hear him but he could read them. Words, endless strings of words, “Levi, I love you…Eren….Armin….Levi, I love you, I love you, please…sorry….why aren’t you saying anything?....can’t you hear me-” He couldn’t handle it anymore. Levi kissed him to shut him up, to stop those lips from moving. To stop those lips, the very reminder he’d only ever know his voice as an echo, only know it from a memory. In that moment, he just wanted to feel Erwin, wanted to know he was alive. That was all. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At the hospital it was a different story. Erwin sat with Armin as he held his hand and the doctors checked him out. While not as bad off as Mike, he wasn’t as well off as he’d thought. He had a few fractured ribs, a concussion, and his arm was inflamed. An X-ray proved that another surgery might be in the future. Erwin chewed his lip, thumb circling over the knuckle of his pointer finger. Armin took notes while a buzz became a deafening roar in Erwin’s ear. Armin was his representative and he was thankful.

Erwin walked down the hallway to towards the OR waiting room. Armin went to get coffee, giving him his space without saying so and he was again thankful. Levi stood waiting for Hanji to come out after finishing paperwork for Mike who needed immediate surgery to stop the bleeding in his abdomen. The doctors were predicting a grim outcome. Erwin stopped just behind him. Donner’s head turned around, eying him with casual interest. Levi couldn’t hear and they had no idea if it was permanent. He came closer, watched as Levi’s shoulder rose and fell with his breath. His head tilted to the side to rest on the wall as he waited.

Eren was standing with Mikasa and Annie off the side, Reiner and Bertolt eating a honey bun between them. Reiner leaned against the wall while Bertolt angled himself in towards him, his hand held awkwardly towards Reiner’s side. He looked like he was going to reach out but put his hand in his pocket instead. Erwin did reach out to Levi, his hand shook as his fingers felt the soft and familiar silk black hair. Levi turned around; eyes rimmed red and cheeks flushed. Erwin felt himself try to smile. Levi only looked at him, mouth in a grim line.

When Eren appeared it was with a small notebook. He’d been communicating with Levi with the tiny sheets of paper. He handed one to Erwin, a sad smile playing at the corner of his lips. He leaned over to meet Levis lips, an intimate moment like the one Armin and Erwin had shared as he tackled Erwin in the field clinging to him like the world was ending. Erwin was so thankful they had Armin and Eren. He was thankful they were loved but he was so sad for them. When would it be enough? He wrote on the small pad in his clean typewriter form “How are you?” 

  
Levi shrugged, “How would you be?”  
Erwin nodded, “Upset.”  
Levi snorted, his pencil moving fluidly across the paper, “You have no idea. I thought you died. I thought that I’d never speak to you again.”  
Erwin’s stomach clenched, “I didn’t die. I’m here.”  
Levi’s look penetrated him, “Will we ever be able to speak again, not on paper?”  
Erwin’s words tumbled out, “We’re going to speak again. You’re going to hear and everything will be fine. You didn’t go mute…there’s opt-” _Unless…_  
Levi turned his head to the side, chewing the inside of his cheek. His hand clenched the pad and Erwin knew, he knew he’d gone mute too and Eren must have figured it out and gotten the pads. Eren would have known, he knew Levi so well that Erwin was selfishly jealous for a few passing seconds. The side of Levi Eren got was reserved just for him, just like the side Armin got to see of his own self. He reached out but Levi pulled away, eyes wounded, _No, no Levi. Don’t turn away from me._ He wrote furiously, “Levi, don’t give up. Please, don’t go away again. I can’t lose you. It’s going to be alright. Don’t go back to that place where I lost you. Eren doesn’t need to see that. Don’t lose yourself…” His hands clenched and his head hurt, Levi walked away after catching a glimpse of Hanji. He took the notebook and left Erwin standing in the stark white waiting room as Armin appeared with two coffees and a blanket. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hanji sat on a bench on the long hallway with Levi. They didn’t remark on the smudged conversation left on the tiny note pad. They cried, their conscious weighing on them as they gripped their oversized jacket before pulling it off. Levi turned, passively interested in their movements. He scribbled something on the paper, “Are you ok?” Hanji wrote back, “I have something to tell you.” Levi’s face paled, “Great choice of words, shit head.” Hanji cried, sobbed really, pulling Levi’s attention to them. Hanji shifted, coming closer to Levi and taking his hands. Levi’s eyes studied them.

Hanji had always been curious about Levi’s upbringing and the loss of his family. Having no family in their life due to other circumstances they wanted to know what it was like for an orphan like Levi, someone whose community had also cut them off and thus could not even be considered a type of foster family. Levi had put away nearly three bottles of Jack Daniels that day at the beach when they finally laid in the sand together, the stars over them as the fourth of July weekend drew to a close, and talked about it. 

Levi had gone still as Hanji rested their head over his heart. His hands carded through their hair as they snuggled closer. For Levi, Hanji was tempting, exciting, and likably annoying, a feisty challenge that brought some life back to his lifeless soul. For Hanji, he added a sense of competition to their life. They’d not been able to forget him ever since Petra introduced them one day over Skype. They had discussed dissection techniques, proper torture methods, and much more. Yes, Levi was a large missing puzzle piece in the grand picture and they had felt a connection from the beginning. The fact they challenged them and confronted them on intellectual matters had only made them more appealing.

As the night went on and the music of _God Bless America_ remained a dull and constant murmur in the background, Levi opened up to Hanji that one of his greatest worries in life was that he had no children, no family, no one and thus had failed his people. He told her that he was raised strictly orthodox and it was important that there be someone to stand for him on judgment day when the Messiah comes. Those who had lost their families in the Holocaust and other pogroms or tragedies had often lamented, “Who will stand for the Steins? Who will stand for the Rabbe Schlomo Zueckerberg and his kith and kin? If I never have children,” he had paused inhaling, “then who would stand on judgment day for Levi Ackermann and his tribe?” Hanji knew Erwin and Levi had a relationship but they were not a couple in the traditional sense.

That had been made clear after his first day in Maria. He’d come early from New York, a bit of a hush had fallen around why when they’d inquired from their circle of friends, Erwin and Hanji had been close friends along with Mike since high school and Petra, Eld, and Oulu only had so much insight having either never met him in person but or as with Eld, owed him everything and privacy was something they protected. They threw a house party for everyone to meet and hand out. Levi had stepped into the room, leather jacket and pants, white v-neck shirt, cigarette between his lips, and look of utter contempt on his face. Hanji had felt a surge of excitement like they got every time they formed an interesting hypothesis to test. He’d walked over, smirked at them, “Hey, shitty glasses,” his voice held a playful lit as it oozed over them, like thick golden molasses, coating them fully. Hanji had smiled wildly, “What’s up short stack?” Levi tch’ed taking their hand and leading them to the dance floor.

They’d gone back to Hanji’s small studio apartment after grabbing burgers nearby. Erwin had been asked to come with them but he’d declined going home with someone else. They opened the door of their apartment turning on the small overhead light of the hallway. Levi hand’s grabbed their hips urging them inside faster. They came into the kitchen living room combination. His breath tickled their neck as his hands traveled around to their front, “This place is disgusting. You live like an animal.” Small rustling could be heard from a cage nearby, “You even live with animals. You’re a filthy person.” His tongue trailed up their neck, teeth nibbling on their ear, “You shouldn’t throw stones.” They turned around devouring him as they peeled their clothes off and made their way into the small bedroom.

Hanji had never felt such pleasure as Levi’s fingers moved inside of them, as his tongue licked at their sex and as his hips moved to meet theirs. He was wild and unabashed and so were they. Their words were Latin, their sex an evolution, their beliefs and iconoclasm. They went at it all night, in the morning, and for weeks afterwards. They’d work in the living room on their current research, testing and hypothesizing on their own, eat take out and then make their self defined type love. Levi had started to open up more and more of himself to them, sometimes for the better and sometimes to Hanji’s own personal heartbreak. The night they laid on the beach together Hanji made him a promise, “Levi, whenever you’re ready, I’ll have your baby for you.” Levi’s eyes had widened, “I could never ask that of you.” Hanji’s leg hooked over him, their body craving warmth, “I’d never offer if I wasn’t serious. You’ll have someone who stands for you, Levi Ackermann, I swear to you. Whether it’s ours or I’m just it’s home for a while. Yours shall outnumber the stars.”

Now, nearly three years later, in a hospital after entering into a committed relationship, performing ground breaking research, and the thought of that day in the front of their mind as they stared into the eyes of the second most important person in their life after he’d lost his hearing, they felt an overwhelming need to talk and complicate things further. Hanji took Levi’s hands, tears running freely down their face as they moved them to their body. Levi’s brow furrowed in confusion till they placed them better. Hanji tried a reassuring smile, “I’m pregnant, Levi. I’m going to be a parent and I’m scared. I didn’t plan this. I’m not….I don’t know if I’m ready or if Mike is ready. I’m scared. I always thought…I always thought I’d have your children….never my own. I’m scared.” Levi read their lips. He understood but he was lost. Something about life, about a pregnancy made him feel _hope._ He felt hope and he was happy, so very happy for them. His world started to buzz as he smiled and cradled them to his chest. _It’s all going to work out._


	24. Jaeger Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Armin come to a realization that there is someone at Maria watching them and working against them.  
> The four leave for a weekend to Atlanta for a concert and exhibit that ends in a smutty night with large revelations. 
> 
> *There is smut between Eren. Erwin, Levi, Armin.  
> *Some of it is rough  
> *You've been warned  
> *This chapter is so long I am so sorry if it's shit  
> *Next chapter will contain a ghost from the past woot woot

Mike survived the surgery and was wheeled into a room to recover for at least two weeks. The buzz in Levi’s ears continued to increase until it became painful. Eren took him to another doctor, distraught as he clenched his head to try and drive out the debilitating sound. Eren’s hands held tightly onto his discarded jacket and clothes as Levi had an MRI, CAT scan, was poked and prodded. Nothing really helped dampen the internal screech he heard. Eventually as the sun began to rise Levi could hear, if a little too acutely, but he could hear. 

”Sudden deafness due Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by a miss-fire in the brain at the emotional distraught caused over the expected loss of patient’s best friend and roommate” was the official diagnosis. His muteness also attributed to it. While he regained his hearing it would seem that his voice would be slow to follow. It was considered a psychological hurdle to overcome, as his vocal cords were in working order and the MRI and CAT scans had revealed no damaged to the left side of his brain. Not for the first time in his life Levi was referred to a psychologist. He folded the paper up and handed it to Eren. He was just happy he could hear. He could always learn sign language till it returned, _if it returned._

In Mike’s room Hanji sat in the recliner fidgeting with their jacket. They’d been distant these last few months after they found out they were pregnant and they worried Mike had noticed and perhaps, began to lose interest in them. If they’d just found out months ago it wouldn’t be as bad as it was. Hanji had found out a month ago due to a routine check-up. The doctor had appeared, smile on her face, “Ms. Zoe, everything has come back fine. You and the baby are doing wonderfully. What pre-natal care have you received? I assume you’ve gone to someone else?” She was a bit perturbed that her client had skipped out on her for anther OBGYN but now they have returned and she needed to know what care she had received. “I’m what?” The doctor’s smiled faltered, “Pregnant…five months. You didn’t know?” No, Hanji had had no idea and now they thought back on every moment of rash behavior, every drink, smoke, long night of no food and too little water. “I’d put you around having conceived over Labor Day weekend. Here, let me give you a moment and I’ll go get the paper work and such. We can take things slow.” Hanji felt their just recently swollen stomach that Mike had lovingly called their “food baby” or “winter insulation.” Hanji was overwhelmed and they thought back on their promise to Levi to carry his child. They’d never actually considered raising kids of their own. What a strange concept.

Mike started to become more alert, “Han, can I have some water?” Hanji got up to give him a drink from his tumbler. “Mike, I was so worried.” Mike smiled, “I know. This was some shit. But it all worked out and I’m here and I get to see your beautiful face. My God, you’re so beautiful.” Hanji smiled, happy that Mike was his old self. They wouldn’t be able to handle a depressed and shaken Mike. They need him to be the sensible strong one while they cry irrationally due to hormones. “Mike, I need to tell you something.” Hanji whispered walking over to the foot of the bed. Just then, the door opened to Erwin and the others coming in to visit Mike, they bit their lip, “Well, maybe later.” Mike shook his head, “Erwin, where is Levi?” Erwin looked at the floor, “Doctors are still trying to help him with the pain. Eren’s with him and has been texting Armin with updates.”

Mike smiled, “At least he’s able to hear something. Erwin, give me my shirt.” Erwin’s face lit up, Armin noticed him pause before pulling out his shirt that had been wrapped up in plastic before the surgery. Erwin had taken it before Hanji could confusing Armin. Erwin handed the bag over to Mike. He looked down and then rolled his eyes, “Ah, shit, pull it out and put it in my good hand.” Erwin removed something from the tangled fabric, Mike’s hand clenched around it. “Hanji, we’ve been together for almost two years now, living together in sin for about a year, mind you.” The people in the room laughed softly, “I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, if you’ll have me. Hanji Zoe, will you marry me?” He held the box in his open palm. Erwin stepped over opening the box to reveal the ring and then slipping away. “Hanji?” Hanji wasn’t teary eyed, they were just in shock, “Yes, Mike. I’ll marry you. I’ll marry you today if you want.” The room erupted into laughter and congratulations but Mike knew something else was going on behind their relieved eyes, “What were you going to tell me?”

Hanji shrugged, “Well, I’m pregnant.” Mike’s face paled as the room became quiet. Erwin covered in his mouth to suppress a gasp, “I told Levi…just now. I’m almost 6 months. Turns out I’m not getting fat, just you know…making life.” Hanji lifted their arms and just threw them down in a “I give up” fashion. Mike gasped, his face lighting up, “We’re going to have a baby…we’re going to be parents!” His pleased and delighted laughter filled the room until suddenly, as if he’d been struck by lightning, he faltered, “Shit…we live in a filthy house with sharp edges…” Erwin laughed as Hanji smiled, “I’ll invite short stack over to help us baby proof.” Mike nodded, “God yes, and one day when we hand him his own will return the favor.” Hanji’s heart swelled, _this man…this man understands. I can do this. We can do this and I can still keep my promise one day._ It turned out Levi was right, it was all going to be fine.

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After the storm the university decided to shut down for the rest of the week. Spring break followed and that meant the students would have two weeks to recover and attempt to clean up their city. Eren had stayed by Levi’s side, forcing him to take it easy and relax. They would be going to Atlanta that weekend for the concert, which Eren was thankful Levi would be able to hear, but he worried that the loudness and push and pull of the crowed would send Levi towards a relapse. He was still mute and became visibly frustrated when it was just he and Eren in their room. He was a man of few words to the outside world but he still had things to say. Writing in the dark was limited to text screens and Eren could tell that writing for him just wasn’t the same as leaning over in the morning as he caressed Eren’s skin and told him he loved him.

Eren said his morning and evening prayers for him, Levi was thankful as his hand moved beneath the sheet searching for him and grasping the hand next to him. Eren’s eyes swam with emotion as he promised Levi it would all work out. He hoped it would. Levi turned towards Eren in the hazy following morning, his hands roamed the plains of his body, dipping and curving. Eren moved forward, forehead resting against his, “Levi, when we get back from Atlanta,” he sighed as Levi ghosted over his lower stomach, “I want you to rest, really rest, and let me take care of you.” Levi gripped Eren’s hips pulling him even closer as his lips met his and moved against them in silent avowal. Eren needed Levi to find peace. 

Erwin had called and taken care of all the details for the trip. He enjoyed the distraction. Armin had cared for him like he would break at any moment. He knew just how upset the incident with Levi and the pit had made him and because of that he cared for Erwin in every way. The shooting pain he had from his ribs had become a dull ache thanks to the pain medicine and bed rest Armin had assigned him to. Every day that passed without Levi’s voice, though, ate away at him. He was the reason for it and the guilt weighed on him.

The night before they left for Atlanta they had Shabbat dinner in the kitchen. Eren lit the candles and said the prayers in a beautifully accented voice that Armin praised in its authenticity. He merely smiled ear to ear but became bashful as Levi also wrote commending words of praise and surprise. He wanted to know if Eren had always been a closet Yid. Eren said it was just a few hours of YouTube and practice in the shower. Erwin watched as Armin’s lips quirked up at the corners, his eyes alive as he thought about something, worked it out, solved a riddle. Erwin reached over to take his hand under the table, “What are you thinking about?” Armin gripped his hand tightly, turning to him to smile sweetly, a mirror image of his dream while in the pit, “I’m just happy, Erwin.” 

That night after Eren and Levi showered and climbed into bed and went to sleep Jean slipped into their room and, feeling like a creep, took photos of them, mostly Eren. He knew that Eren’s sleeping face was one of his own favorite sights and with a commission hanging over his head he would take all the inspiration he could get. Jean passed Erwin and Armin’s room on his way to his studio. Marco and Jean had officially moved in as well, their room a slow evolution of things they liked while respecting what Erwin and Levi had already prepared. 

Jean slid onto the chair of his studio, hooking his computer up to his phone and downloading the photos. He already had a painting of Armin sketched out and a few base colors blocked in. To the side was one of Erwin, inspired by his regal countenance and finely sculpted body. He was a commander of the scouts, leading them as a beacon of hope against the titan hordes in Jean’s little made up world. Marco’s face was hidden behind the drop cloths on multiple canvases, some unfinished and some painful to look at in their realistic appeal and some made his heart swell with love. He was his favorite subject to paint, after all. 

_Speak of the Devil_ , Jean thought as hands slid under his shirt making him yelp, “Babe! You’re fingers are cold, ice cold.” Marco chuckled leaning against his back resting his chin on Jean’s shoulder, “I’m as cold as ice.” His voice was playful as he rubbed along Jean’s stomach and chest, his voice was seductive and warm like fresh honey from the hive, “You should come to bed with me.” Jean hummed, “I’m on a roll, babe. I can’t.” Marco kissed Jean’s cheek stepping back, “I understand, just don’t forget about me. You know your Italian stallion all alone in that big bed with the entire week off starting tonight. Just remember that. I might be nude and ready for fun.” Jean smirked, “I’ll be there in thirty, mon coeur (my heart). Je promets.(I promise)” Marco smiled rolling his eyes when Jean turned to look at him, “Je l’espére, mon trésor. (I hope so, my treasure)” Marco disappeared as Jean turned around to grab an empty canvas and start sketching out his next painting, smiling at the thought of Marco waiting for him.

Erwin sat in bed hearing Jean and Marco’s door close farther down the hall. Erwin was sitting up in the bed, pillows around and propping him up. Armin had arranged them for him before going to take a shower. He watched a few things passively on the television reading a new publication of one of his _colleagues._ It was horrific and that pleased him. Some colleagues were more enemies than friends and this one’s day in the sun had now come and gone paving the way for Erwin to emerge in his wake. His book would destroy this one. 

Armin appeared rubbing his hair with the towel. His pajamas were blue with tiny white cartoon kittens on them. His shorts soft cotton and shirt a long sleeved thermal. Erwin paused, removing his reading glasses, “You look adorable.” Armin’s eyes narrowed, small smirk playing at the corner of his mouth, “You look very pleased about something.” Erwin loved that Armin noticed. He held the book up waiting for Armin to read the cover. “That guy named Patrick wrote that, right? The one who wrote all over my paper?” Armin’s nose twitched. “Yeah, that bastard that tried to correct my baby’s beautiful work. He and I have been at it since I got here and this book was supposed to be the shinning achievement in the field by the university.” Armin smiled wickedly, “Its shit isn’t it?” Armin’s voice was smug. “It’s utter incompetence at its best and the citations!” Erwin said the word with a grossly exaggerated high society southern drawl, “Are incorrect and most are based on false data!” Armin burst into laughter as Erwin dropped the book on the bedside table. Armin hung his towel turning off the lights in the room except for the TV and the small LED nightlight he kept in the bathroom. It was so bright it illuminated the bathroom and with the door open the pale blue light made its way into the bedroom casting a nice glow. 

Armin climbed into bed but didn’t get under the covers as Erwin expected. Instead he moved over to his knees facing him. “Erwin,” Armin’s eye brow rose, “we haven’t fooled around in almost three weeks because of midterms and everything else that’s been going on.” Erwin blushed, he’d never be able to fully get over how forward and insatiable Armin was when it came to sex, though, being open and forward about such a topic was actually the healthy way to be, just not how Erwin was raised to go about it. “Well, while I fully in agree with that statement, my ability to throw you around and participate is not without flashes of white hot pain unless I’m drugged or drunk.” Armin tilted his head to the side, “But, I can suck you and ride you.” Erwin blushed a deeper shade of red making Armin laugh, “Erwin, for you to be so….aggressive in so many aspects of our life you become so easily embarrassed when I talk like that.” 

Erwin shrugged still blushing, “I mean, I guess..Its whatever. I’m fine with that.” Armin looked a bit hurt and then he looked miffed, “You’re fine with that?” Erwin mentally kicked himself for his choice of words; blame the pain killers or something Erwin, “Uh I mean, I would like that.” Armin’s eyes narrowed, small frown on his face, “I mean, you don’t seem excited about it. If you don’t want to fool around then we don’t have to.” Armin crossed his arms, now pouting, “We can wait till you’re healed….or never fool around again you know because you definitely didn’t see excited…” Alarms were going off in Erwin’s head, “No! No, baby, I really didn’t mean to sound unenthused, I just…I didn’t want you to be doing all the work and me just layin’ back and reaping the benefits.” Armin looked even more miffed. Erwin held his hands up, “I surrender! Don’t be mad, baby. I’m not worthy of you and I worship the ground you walk on.” Erwin tried to look pitiful and sincere as Armin studied him.

Armin continued to pout, he dead panned, “You worship the ground I walk on?” Erwin smiled, _yessss, forgive me my sweet,_ “Of course I do! Without you I’d be a wastrel of the world, landless and wandering, I’d be lonely and cold. My heart, my heart would turn away from other human affection and be a relentless and unforgiving,-“ Armin held his hand up, “That’s enough of that crock of shit.” _Fuuuuckkkk he was not swayed, I could be having my dick sucked right now if I was a smart man,_ “But it’s true, my darling!” Armin gave him a _Levi-esque_ look of disbelief, “Honestly, I should nag you for the rest of forever but I’ve been wanting to suck you for days now so badly it’s literally all I think about. So, this isn’t for you, this is for me. It’s all about me.” Erwin sighed thankfully, _crisis averted for now and I’ll get what I really wanted anyway out of it._ ”Of course, my sweet. I am only here to serve you.” Armin rolled his eyes moving towards him like a predator. 

Erwin closed his eyes feeling as Armin pulled his pants down. He opened them to see Armin leaning over, tongue darting out to wet his lips as he gave Erwin a few languid strokes. “Hand me the lube.” Erwin’s hands searched in the night stand as he started hardening under Armin’s talented hands. He watched as Armin removed his shorts and moved over Erwin’s legs to straddle them. His fingers were shiny in the light from the TV and Erwin groaned at the sight of him bending over to insert them. Armin gave Erwin a sultry look before returning to his cock. His tongue darted out teasing the tip and dipping into the slit. Erwin’s breath hitched causing a slight surge of pain. Armin’s petite mouth swallowed around the head suckling on it the way he knew drove Erwin insane. He bobbed slowly, taking in more with each rotation before hitting the back of his throat causing Erwin to moan loudly and groan more from sudden uncomfortable feeling of his chest. Armin smirked around his length, swallowing and humming, making Erwin suddenly much hotter. _That little nymph._

Armin bobbed off with a pop, thin trails of saliva connecting him to Erwin. They sparkled in the light as he lapped at the underside of his cock from base to tip. Erwin was enjoying how much attention he was getting from Armin. He must have really been thinking about it for as the blow job went on he started to lose himself in his own ministrations at his entrance. Erwin controlled himself, the pain allowing him to ground himself and not go over the edge as Armin picked up taking him to the back of his throat and gagging on his thick cock. He wasn’t small and Armin was a trooper. He also knew that gagging noises turned Erwin on immensely and he played it up for him.

Eventually, Armin removed his fingers shaking from arousal and moved up Erwin’s body to rest over his shiny red cock. He was flushed pink, breath ragged as he met Erwin’s lustful gaze, “Fuck,” he lowered himself onto Erwin taking him in all the way to the hilt. Erwin groaned as the tight heat engulfed him. Armin, his sweet tight boy, was unbelievable. He meant so much to him, there was no way to describe how much he loved him. Armin started a slow but burning pace so as to not jostle Erwin and hurt him. 

Armin moved on Erwin, full and burning with need. He grew closer and closer as he rose and fell. Erwin’s breaths were ragged, moans low, and the occasional groan spurred him on. He also enjoyed the things Erwin said to him during sex, “Baby, that feels so good. You’re so sweet, baby, so sweet and fucking amazingly tight. You’ll kill me, you’ll be the end of me, baby, my baby, my sweet baby.” Endless strings of words and praises did wonders for Armin’s sense of self and reaffirmed that Erwin did, indeed, want him and love him. 

Erwin’s hands skimmed up and down from his knees to the top of his thighs before wrapping partly around his hips. He started pushing the thermal shirt up, wanting to see more of Armin’s skin, his lithe body. He pushed it over his naval, a small sigh falling from Armin’s mouth as he did so. He went higher, exposing Armin’s nipples to the cool air of the room. He stroked them, pulling moans from him. He pinched and rolled with his fingers making him hiss and buck. Armin was at the edge and so was Erwin. He pulled down his hands but the shirt kept slipping back down. Erwin took the bottom hem pulling it up and offering it to Armin who took it between his teeth, whining against the fabric as Erwin started to meet his thrusts going ever deeper. Armin’s hands tweaked his nipples as Erwin had adding to the stimulation and driving Erwin wild. They kept increasing their thrusts as much as possible before Armin came coating Erwin’s stomach and a little of his own. Erwin watched Armin’s eyes close, his face flush a darker shade of pink, and his nose wrinkle in that oh-so-characteristically-Armin way he’d come to adore before he lost himself to his own earth shattering orgasm, filling Armin and leaving him boneless and more sore than he should have been.

Armin shifted off of Erwin getting up to get a rag and Erwin’s pills. He came back cleaned them off and gave him the pills and some water, “You know everything, baby,” Erwin mumbled smiling into his water, “You’re the best , baby, I love you.” Armin snorted, pulling on his shorts, “You’re not forgiven. So, you can just stop trying to butter me up.” Erwin chuckled, “I mean it! Honest!” Armin crawled into bed, “Let’s watch something that also has men in it that don’t appreciate a good thing when they have it.” His tone was chiding but more playful than anything else. He fluffed his pillow taking a drink from his own glass of water near his side of the bed, he mumbled, “I love you too, daddy.” Erwin put an arm around him as they settled in for the night.

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The next morning they all packed up the car and headed to Atlanta. It would only take about two hours but they were in no rush. Armin wanted to get lottery tickets on their way to and from and Erwin made sure to pencil it in when he kissed him on his cheek and climbed in the back with Eren. They took Levi’s car since Donner was coming along, something Levi would have normally wished he'd not had to do since a dog stuck in a hotel room for a few hours was cruel in his opinion but he couldn't risk needing him and not having him if he got overwhelmed, something he'd shamefully been feeling a lot as of late.

If Eren suddenly spoke, he'd feel anxious, if the door shut a little quicker than normal, anxious. If a red light lingered too long, if Erwin called him, if Hanji texted, if Eren left him alone, if Eren was away from the house, if Eren was quiet, everything about Eren, if he had to write something down he’d worry he was taking too long. How would he learn sign language and when should he start? Would Eren want someone who was broken? He'd been winding tighter and tighter, often having several attacks a day sometimes minutes between them. The night was the worst because he would wake in a cold sweat, mouth moving but no sound that he could hear or even make. He was glad he didn't disturb Eren.

While Erwin’s powers of deduction were impressive, for he was indeed the smartest man Levi had ever known, Armin was quickly proving that with the wisdom age brings he'd surpass everyone. Armin had asked Levi pointed questions as of late about the situation surrounding the serum, Jeeter, the four Jane and John doe's killed with him, and more importantly he asked about trust. That was a word Levi saw in red. Trust, for him, was prized and rare. It was a hard concept for most to grasp in of itself but to also dictate precisely to what degree someone trusted someone, well that complicated the matter entirely.

Erwin and Levi had not discussed yet the message which appeared on the screen of the computer, in fact, he had avoided it hoping above all else it was a hallucination of sorts that came before the great emotional trauma but that simply wasn't so. He had thought it over and over a hundred, thousand, million times the riddle that flashed in red on the backdrop of his mind. Mostly though, laying beside Eren as he petted Levi’s hair or stroked his arm while whispering comments about the show they were watching or how the day went he wanted to confess to him. Confess and then be washed clean of his sin. 

While Jean seemed to not appreciate the allure of confession on the Catholic side of things Levi for once in his life did. If he could tell Eren about his past transgressions and Eren still accept him and love him then there was nothing he couldn’t do. He'd slap a ring on that finger faster than someone could say L'chaim and he'd settle down to be an old man on a farm with kids and whatever manner of varmint Eren was sure to bring home. He would be his Mikvah. He would clean him and make him pure again. Levi didn't know when, but he'd become a romantic fool when it came to Eren and he enjoyed it. He simply enjoyed Eren.

Erwin and Levi sat in the front while Armin and Eren cuddled beneath a blanket in the back seat. After a few minutes of easy conversation Armin yawned and the next time Erwin looked back Eren was stroking Armin’s hair while they watched a movie on their kindle fire with their ear buds in. Erwin chuckled, “Well, they sure did go off in their own little world and leave us out.” Levi’s eyebrow rose, he looked in the rear view mirror to see what Erwin was talking about, snorting when he saw them. They were to arrive in another hour and Erwin was deciding which gas station they should stop at and get the first tickets. _They’d need to change and get ready for their events when they got to the room, so grabbing dinner after that would be…_ Erwin lost himself planning and planning for when those plans went astray.

Levi’s hand moved over to Erwin’s scared arm massaging from the top of the shoulder down slowly to the wrist. His hands knew every screw, the shape of every break, the scars made initially by the blast, ill equipped doctors, and then by his own hands. “Lee.” Erwin exhaled a soft smile playing at his features, “Lee, will you do the surgery if I have to have it? You can ask the doctor that did Eren’s and Marco’s. He’ll let you use the facilities.” Levi’s lips twitched meeting Erwin’s eyes in the mirror, “I already called and asked.” His voice was quiet and a bit embarrassed. Erwin had called, begged, and then blackmailed them. 

Levi blinked looking back at the road. His hand slid down to cover the top of Erwin’s hand, grasping it firmly and rubbing small circles. Erwin looked over at Levi, he looked so young. He opened his mouth, turning to Erwin and tried to say something. His lips moved but there was only silence. He shut his mouth, eyes watery and turned off on the shoulder to get out. Erwin understood, sliding over to the driver’s side. When Levi got back in Eren’s hand came around the car seat headrest to card through his hair. He leaned up, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck. “I love you.” Eren leaned back with Armin who had put their movie on hold to now stare intently at Erwin through the mirror, lips thinned and paled. When they got to the hotel the tension had faded and both Erwin and Levi were competing for _Big Papa_ status.

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Levi unpacked the car, arranging everything and checking them in regardless of his lack of speech by the time Erwin paid for the valet to park them. Erwin called to have flowers and champagne sent to the room making Levi snort as they got on the elevator. By the time they walked off, he’d already made them a reservation at one of the nicest restaurants in town. Not to be outdone, Erwin had done the same for lunch the next day. Eren and Armin smiled as their partners fawned on them. They came to the door of their room, both rushed to open it and after a small fight of side elbowing and intimidate Erwin was victorious. 

The room was country chic, hand scraped wooden floors with one wall covered in pressed tin. The other walls were a medium grey with dark coco stained wood furniture and white plush chairs and a huge bed with a plush grey comforter with a white down blanket and numerous pillows. Eren and Armin rushed forward jumping head first onto the bed laughing and rolling around with one another like when they were kids. When they looked up both men were standing in the room staring at them. Armin looked to Erwin, “What?” Erwin and Levi exchanged looks, “Well, there were supposed to be two separate kings not one oversized one.” Eren and Armin shrugged. Eren turned to Armin smile wide and sincere, “Well, I like this set up. I’ve missed sleeping with Armin a little bit.” Armin nodded, “I know, me too!” Both boys sprung off the bed opening their bags and setting about changing and preparing for their respective evenings. Levi merely shrugged, fingers rubbing Donner’s ear. Eren walked by grabbing him and kissing him plainly on the mouth, “Thank you, Captain.” He winked walking into the bathroom to take a quick shower as Levi and Erwin settled in on the two plush chairs smiling at their lovers.

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Dinner was exquisite. Eren felt underdressed since he was just going to a concert and not a museum gala or whatever Armin had called his thing with Erwin but no one seemed to notice or care. Eren and Levi both wore a similar outfit. Eren wore a grungy faded olive green tshirt, tight white skinny jeans, and green high top converse. Levi looked like a glamorous bad boy in a loose fitting white vneck with the words "la haine" in black cursive written in a slanted fashion across the entirety of the chest and mid section, black skinny jean, black lace up combat boots, and a black leather jack. He had everything they needed in his pockets including a pen and pad just in case their phones died. They looked like the perfect misfit rocker couple and Levi exuded a bad ass easy rider greaser feel that made Eren and others in the room swoon.

Armin and Erwin looked like this was just another restaurant in their world. They were the picture perfect power couple. Both, in Eren’s opinion, should be models for high end magazines and such. Erwin looked like James Bond in a dark black satin tuxedo with white button up, black satin buttons, and a small onyx bow tie. The suite was so well cut and tailored his broad shoulders and trim waist was accentuated dramatically making him all the more imposing. His black leather loafers were shinny under the lights and the crystal clear shine of his glasses brought one's eye to his face which was groomed impeccably. He had adorned them to read the menu stating his eyes had been feeling tired. Armin kissed his cheek before admonishing him lightly for not drinking enough water. A mothering Armin, Eren had to suppress a snort at the sight, was a happy Armin and more importantly a content Armin. Eren was glad.

Armin looked fun and playful compared to Erwin. His hair had been trimmed by Eren back to its shorter length if not a tad shorter and laid heavily, lushly, framing his face. He'd side swept his bangs a bit to one side at Eren’s request after seeing him in the navy blue tuxedo with silk blue lapels and a fun burnt orange undershirt and matching navy and orange paisley print pocket square. He'd opted for no tie and donned amber colored loafers that also shined under the chandelier. Armin smiled up at Erwin as he ordered him a mojito and a stout beer for himself. Dating above your age had its perks. He leaned over laying his head on his shoulder while they quietly discussed the appetizers.

Eren and Levi did about the same, holding hands while Eren asked if he could point out something good. Levis fingers deftly moved against the menu resting on item to item as Eren hummed or commented. He ordered for them when the waitress came, Levi's neck tightening in anxiety made Eren's heart stutter. He reached out carding his hand through Levi's undercut before kissing him. Erwin let out a content smile at the sight. "We're just old softies now, arn't we Lee?" Levi nodded a ghost of a smile playing at his lips. Armin looked out the window at the skyline. They were eating on the 56th floor of this very hotel and thus had a perfect view of the bustling city around them. Armin turned back around, "Have you and Levi always been patrons of fine diners?" His smile was playful and sincere.

Levi was happy that Armin wasn't treating him like he was broken; in fact he was helping him. Armin taking up time with Levi and working with him as he struggled to express himself had made things easier with Eren. He would take the majority of his frustration out on Armin and not Eren and Armin wouldn't pull any punches when he'd bite back. Armin was one of Levi's favorite people. He reminded him of a young Erwin but in a more likeable way. He was gorgeous, ugly, raw, scrappy, cunning, sincere, and manipulative. These were all attributes Erwin also possessed but with Armin there came a level of realness Erwin had lacked due to his upbringing.

Armin was someone Levi would have recruited for his gang in New York. He was someone he might have, at one point when he was younger before the war, loved. That wasn’t really ever possible with Erwin when they met Levi had realized that he was not only smarter than him but had come from a life style he’d never hope to achieve. Erwin had always reminded him of what Levi never was and never would be. At least Armin and he would have been on completely different yet equal footing due to their dysfunctional upbringing.

Erwin shifted in his seat. He brought his hand up to cup his jaw leaning on his elbow on the table as the other hand trailed across the white linen table cloth, "No. I’m why Levi even eats at them.” Armin paused as Eren studied Levi's face. He looked bored, shrugging as Erwin continued. "I would ask where he wanted to eat and the next thing I know he's got me at a random Döner stand for common street food. I started noticing he was uncomfortable about going anywhere that wasn't.....tawdry." Erwin’s eyes shimmered with fondness and nostalgia. They were also a bit taunting as if he was trying to get Levi going.

Levi crossed and uncrossed his arms giving Erwin the most un-amused look before waving a hand on. "When Levi and I first started working together he called me the delightful nickname "Rich Boy" often, later, singing the Regina Spektor song _"Poor little rich boy all the couples have gone they’ve gone they’ve gone..."_ in my presence or leaning over my bunk in the early hours of the morning while drunk. He absolutely despised going anywhere that I chose and refused to let me pay when we did but he didn’t have a lot of money and we’d get into some serious fights. We stopped going anywhere nice because we got kicked out of so many places and it wasn’t worth it. I promised myself to break him, though, one day. So, when I brought him down to Maria, and he finally had "more money than God,” I started conditioning him to the finer things in life. Also, an impassioned speech about food quality and handling control really did it for him. He still acts brash when we go out and he's angry at me or not feeling like putting on airs. He hides that for you two so there’s that." Erwin smirked winking at Levi who rolled his eyes. He pulled out his pad and start scribbling a retort no doubt as the appetizers arrived and Eren started to devour them while occasionally stealing glances at Levi's words.

Levi finished in a flourish sliding the pad over to Erwin where he read it and chuckled, "I know, I know. I'm an old asshole. But you love it." Levi tch'ed then began eating as they all settled into a comfortable and familiar silence till Eren asked Armin about the exhibition. Armin perked up, "It's about WWI and the world at that moment. They'll focus on newly discovered information, recently declassified soldier testimonials, and artifacts. There will be a guest speaker, cocktail meet-and-greet with some leading specialists in the field and more!" Eren smiled, "You just want to touch a gas mask and Prussian helmet. Don't lead with all the other crap." Erwin smiled at the deliciously placed call-out while Armin pouted, "You wouldn't know a Prussian helmet if Otto von Bismarck himself presented you with one. Don't forget I was your tutor through school." Eren crossed his arms, "Says the boy who I had to pump his gas for him and still do." Armin replied quickly, "Those pumps are disgusting! They are also potentially dangerous." Eren's brow furrowed, "Yeah so you always risk my life. I thought you loved me." Armin leaned back with a smirk, _Eren was so easy to get at,_ "Yeah, I love you enough to let you protect me from germs and sketchy pumps." His sweet smile spurred Eren on, "I think your irrational fear of needles under pump handles isn't founded." Erwin's money was on Eren and oddly enough, Levi’s was on Armin. “The possibility is _real_ therefore the _fear_ is not unfounded. They were putting needles underneath the handles in Spain for almost two years. People were being exposed to dangerous diseases.” Armin looked smug.

Eren tch’ed, “But this isn’t Spain and there aren’t any roaming bands of infected youth doing that around here. You figured there would be copy cat crimes like we lived in some Mecca of bustling volk.” Armin’s mouth formed a thin line, “Well, stranger things have happened. Plus, I mean, I am and was always thankful for your help in my most trying times.” Eren rolled his eyes, “You were thankful I put my health at risk, got it. Good thing I haven’t had to pump it lately. How have you managed?” Armin pondered, “You might not be able to contract it…wouldn’t it…be seen as an infection that the body needed to rid itself of?” He looked to Levi who’s eyes were alive with fire and thought, “And a few nice men have offered to do it for me at the gas station. But, mostly I ride with Big Daddy.” He patted Erwin’s arm cutely as Erwin’s eyes narrowed, “Other men have been offering to pump your gas?”Armin smiled, “I’m very popular.” Eren snorted, “What a charmed life you lead.” Armin gave Eren a swift kick under the table causing both Erwin and Levi to fill with warmth and fondness. Their lovers were quite adorable when they were sparring. 

After dinner they each split off to their own events. Eren and Levi walked to the stadium where the concert was being held. Levi held Eren’s hand as the stood in line and his grip tightened over and over again the crowd began to swell. Eren leaned over kissing and nibbling on Levi’s neck after the found their seats in the VIP section. “Are you good?” Levi nodded leaning in closer to Eren’s affection, “Are you happy?” Again, Levi’s head moved affirming that he was, indeed, happy. “If you get too anxious just shake your head “no” at any time and I’ll get you out of here. Okay?” Eren bit down on Levi’s nape, hot breath heating his skin and making Levi’s eyes close. He moaned through his teeth, low. Only Eren could hear him and getting that sort of reaction out of him spurred him on. Biting must be a big thing for Levi; he’d be sure to remember that.

The show began and Eren and Levi lost themselves in the sweet croons and tunes of Lana Del Rey. Levi tried to suppress any trace of anxiety while hoping for more time with Eren doing fun things like this. For him, Eren was the shining star in his sky, the willful playmate that made him feel young, the tentative and submissive lover that let him shower him with as much affection as he could, and he was reason for trying to get better, to be better. He wanted to be the man Eren deserved. Eren simply lost himself in the music; thinking about Levi and having him play, as he had done many countless times in his mind, the long lost lover of the lyrics. Eren was so completely consumed by him, saturated by him, that he’d never be able to remove his scent nor his mark from his skin. Eren turned to Levi, his hands lightly resting on his hips as his lips moved inches from Levi’s own: 

  
There are violets in your eyes  
There are guns that blaze around you  
There are roses in between my thighs and fire that surrounds you  
It's no wonder every man in town had neither fought nor found you  
Everything you do is elusive, too, even your honey dew

Eren and Levi moved together, bumping and grinding in the pale moonlight and they weren’t worried about anything but each other. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The museum was bustling with cars and people. It was almost like a Hollywood event if you knew the professors around you and viewed them as stars of the silver screen. Armin and Erwin sort of did but then they were also attracting a lot of attention as they stepped out of the black town car Erwin had rented and entered to a busy lobby where the main exhibit began. Armin looked to the side noting the smaller side ones that he’d want to come back and see. Tonight, though, a trip into the trenches was what he was after. 

They followed along stopping here and there to admire some of the artifacts. Coming to letters recently allowed into the public by Churchill Armin gasped, rushing forward to read the script. Erwin’s large hand rested on his shoulder, “Are you a Clementine or a Churchill?” Erwin watched as Armin’s eyes lit up, “I’ll be your Clementine if you’ll be my Churchill.” His voice was sultry without meaning to be. Erwin felt his face flushed, “That…was one of the sweetest things I have ever heard. I am honored.” Erwin smiled his eyes searching Armin’s looking for any kind of jest or insincerity. He found none. “Let’s go. I want to get a good seat for the speech and the film!” Erwin laughed as Armin pulled him through the ranks, “You know,” he giggled when they came to a sudden stop, “When we go to France we can take the Euro Star to Britain and see Churchill’s bunker.” Armin turned around, “Don’t you _dare_ tease me.” His eyes were shinning and within those pools of cool blue lay warning and playfulness. Erwin found their seats letting Armin pick which he wanted to sit in, “I would never tease you about such that is so blatantly important to you.” Armin’s huge smile made his heart flutter, “Have you ever thought about writing a book? You could use the vacation as a type of “summer at bathe” to discover inspiration for one, my sweet.” 

The other patrons were finding their seats as the lights began to dim. Armin reached over lacing his fingers with Erwin and kissing his cheek, “Well, I might have two topics that come straight to mind that I’d like to do some more research on…” Erwin grinned looking down, “Oh? Do tell, Schatzie.” Armin’s eyes hardened, “I could write about partisan activity in WWII” he paused licking his lips as a sense of danger started to grow in Erwin, “or the _Shin Bet_.” Erwin felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. Armin’s eyes were dangerous, studious, and he knew everything he needed to know had already flashed across his face. He was not match for Armin. He was a fool to think he would have ever been able to stay above him in skill. Levi had said as much when he wrote him the other day after Armin had spent a long time in their office with him. Armin would be the ruin of the world if it should displease him and him think to ruin it. “…Ar…min….” His words died as the room went black and the speaker took the stage immediately cracking jokes only funny to those in the field. Armin turned to kiss Erwin on the lips, a small act of apology for playing so dirty but also a symbol that much like when Erwin went through Levi’s email, he wasn’t sorry.

The speech was riveting and hilarious. The film was a kino noir interpretation of the Great War and life in the trenches. Afterwards a few notable professors were sweeping the room and Erwin was pleased that Armin shared his same train of thought when they both pressed forward monopolizing them and making connections. By the time they were leaving Armin and Erwin’s LinkedIn accounts had exploded. They were likable, affluent, and young. Erwin acted with grace when posed hard questions about his research. Armin couldn’t help but feel dreamy when watching him. His head swam a bit from the heat inside. He was relieved when Erwin’s arm found its way to his waist pulling him out into the cold air outside. 

The concert was over according to Levi’s text. It was almost midnight. “Baby?” Armin curled into Erwin, “Yes?” Erwin continued to scroll through his phone, “Want to go to a club and “get wrecked”….what does that mean?” Erwin’s brow furrowed in confusion, “Erwin, are you telling me you don’t know what the slang “Get Wrecked” means?” Armin looked up with a disbelieving facial expression, “…” Erwin opened his mouth and closed it, “OH MY GOD ERWIN SMITH IT MEANS GET FUCKED UP.” Erwin flushed red, “Oh, well Levi was curious. Should I say yes?” Armin nodded and once he sent them the directions they got back into the Lincoln town car and went on. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They pulled up to a Hookah bar where Levi and Eren were waiting outside, drinks in hand. Eren gave Armin a wicked smile when he appeared, “Jaeger Bomb?” Armin took a step back, “You know I tell secrets…” Levi’s eyebrow raised, he stalked forward as Erwin moved inwards as well, “What kind of secrets, baby?” They looked downright nefarious as the leered at Armin, “Secrets. Eren does it to. We call them Jaeger secrets. Once you enter into a Jaeger night you must never repeat the secrets revealed especially to those who were not there at the time of said Jaeger night. I won’t drink if y’all won’t swear. Admittance is one secret of your own.” Armin stood up straighter challenging, “So, what’s your decision?” Levi smirked before smiling fully revealing his pretty pearly teeth. Rarely did he smile so fully it had the three momentarily stunned. He patted Erwin’s face, a sign of a lighter and more fun Levi emerging from the past and Erwin couldn’t help but blush and feel his cheek where Levi’s hand had just been, “We agree.” And then the night became very interesting.

The music was intoxicating pulling Levi to the floor where he and Eren danced together until they needed to sit and hydrate with more alcohol. Erwin and Armin had taken up on the plush couches using the hookah between them and doing shots. Armin hadn’t lied; his lips were loose when drinking this brand and Erwin was getting more than enough information to use as black mail on Jean and Eren that is if he wasn’t bound by honor and oath. But, he’d broken those before so what was the harm when it allowed him to torture Jean? “Daddy, I want a secret.” Armin slid to straddle Erwin’s lap. “Haha! What kind of secret?” Levi was turning up a bottle of imported absinthe, watered down for America but still, while Eren was dancing in the shadows oblivious to the mass amounts of stares he was receiving, “Okay, I wasn’t circumcised till I was 20.” Armin stopped his wiggling to the music to just stare at Erwin, “What?” 

Erwin finished his shot, “Yep.” Armin moved his face closer to whisper, “Why?” Erwin shrugged, “It was a dare.” Before Armin could continues, Levi appeared reaching for him. He willingly went with him to the dance floor. Eren came to the couch downing more shots and at Erwin’s behest a little water. Both men watched as Levi who was truly resplendent and transcendent on the floor moved to the Moroccan beats with fluidity and a sexual prowess that Eren had yet to see in their own play. “I feel,” Eren paused coughing, “I feel ashamed having danced for him when he can dance like that. I mean….damn….” Erwin laughed, “Yeah, he’s magical” Eren cast a sly look, “And delicious.” Erwin nodded, “Delectable, truly.” Eren for once could admire how devilishly handsome Erwin was. He noted the differences between Levi and him but something about him made him just want to reach out and touch him.

On the floor Armin slide closer to Levi, letting him touch him in ways that confused him. The other onlookers made him uncomfortable. He wasn’t looking to rile Erwin up nor entertain others. Levi was safe, he was a part of them and thus he didn’t shy away when his hips grinded into his or when he lips were so close he could touch them with his own. He didn’t hold himself back either, letting the music sway him as the alcohol made him hazy and light. Levi’s eyes were expressive, he said all he needed to say with them and Armin felt a pleasing shudder overtake him. Levi nicked his head over to where Eren and Erwin sat. Armin’s eyes followed. 

Eren was leaning in closely to Erwin as Erwin’s arm rest on the back of the couch behind him. He eventually lowered it, his hands playing with stray strands of hair. Eren held eye contact the entire time his body slowly leaning in yet holding back. He looked like a wild animal who was debating if he should trust the nice human. Levi snorted; _looks like Erwin is seeing what I’ve been seeing the entire time in the brat. I guess whatever happens in Hotlanta will stay in Hotlanta._ Levi’s hands fisted in Armin’s jacket bringing him closer to dance hotly against one another.

Armin was panting against Levi as they ground together in the middle of the dance floor. Levi leaned in, eyes capturing Armin’s and pinning him, _damn this kid’s got moves. Why the fuck not?_ Levi leaned in and Armin surged forward to meet him. Their lips locked as their hands started moving in time with the beat. Still dancing but hotly and passionately kissing they held the eye of everyone who looked towards them. Armin felt even more weightless as his system flooded with hormones and want. Levi’s lips were talented and held his with a surprising amount of tenderness. His tongue trilled, making Armin groan. Not to be out done, Armin returned in favor plunging into his mouth after Levi gasped at the contact of Armin’s thigh to his crotch. Armin sucked in Levi’s bottom lip, nibbling lightly, and then in a moment of brashness, biting it making Levi moan in deep in his throat. He opened his eyes, pulling back to take in Levi and his entire splendor. _That kid has balls. Erwin, you’re a lucky devil. I wonder if he learned that from Eren?_

Eren wasn’t sure who moved first but he was now engaged in a war with the Commander’s, as Armin called Erwin affectionately around him, tongue. He felt his strong arm wrap protectively around him creating a safe and comfortable feeling that was in stark contrast to the exceedingly hot kiss. Eren was vaguely aware of Levi’s stare on him, he was slightly worried this would have consequences but Erwin’s lips were soft, they were moving in such interestingly different ways than Levi’s had, and his tongue was thick and filled Eren’s mouth massaging his own tongue and making him breathless. He submitted but only when he wanted to and to submit to Erwin wasn’t as fun as making him work for it. Erwin knew his body posture all too well. He actively tried to seduce him more with well placed touches. He was trying to call a cat out of the top of a tree. _Just like Levi._ Realizing how hard he was working to try and relax Eren made Eren pull away more in a taunt. The power was intoxicating. When they broke away Eren smiled ruefully at him as Erwin smoothed his hair back pouring them another shot. Erwin’s hand rested on Eren’s side, tauntingly scooping down by his crotch. 

Levi and Armin walked over, flushed and panting. Erwin and looked down at his watch, _almost 3:00 am_. He looked to Levi, “Food and then home?” Levi nodded, a glint in his eye that made Eren blush. They walked out onto the crowded streets following Levi’s lead to a Thai food truck. Levi pointed to what he wanted and Eren managed to order it with a straight face, drunk as they all were and slurring. “Commoner…food. This is shit for the plebeians, Levi. Are you a pleb at heart still?” Levi turned to Erwin with the first of their food in his hand, a hot stick popper. Levi made eye contact with Erwin, glaring and not blinking. Erwin matched him and both boys ate their pot stickers leaning up against each other so they didn’t fall, Armin kept trying to stick the popper in his mouth but he kept missing it, chasing it around with his open mouth like a small angry and uncoordinated shark. Levi lifted his popper and bit into it menacingly as Erwin lost himself to uncontrollable laughter. Levi turned slightly away from him grabbing another one and handing it to him. Erwin came beside him, hugging him against him and rubbing his arm before Levi looked up and they kissed shortly, sweetly, and chastely. 

Eren and Armin’s eyes widened. They’d never seen them kiss and in truth that was about as platonic as you could be but there was such a symbolic meaning to it. It was like watching parents who’ve been married for years kiss. It made you feel a sense of warmth. Armin and Eren smiled. Both giggling and unable to stop as they leaned on one another and almost fell on the ground. They sat down on the curb to finish eating. Eren was surprised that Levi made no comment about it being filthy. Sometimes when he was relaxed and drunk he was a whole new Levi; carefree, expressive emotionally, and surprisingly affectionate. 

Levi and Erwin sat together, Levi pressed into his side and nuzzled him with his head allowing his eyes to close as Erwin and Armin carried on an amusing conversation about what someone wore to their event. They also had a count of their new connections to see who was more popular. Erwin won, but only by three and Armin demanded they have a recount in the morning when he could do _Maths more properly. Erwin had laughed reaching around Levi and Armin to hand Eren his coke, "Thirsty?" Eren was and had foolishly sucked his dry seconds after getting it but he didn't want to risk sucking someone else's dry, "umm but it's got....your spit on it..." Erwin seemed beyond amused, "You have more of my spit in your mouth from kissing me than you’d get from this straw, Eren, my God." Levi snorted, his body shook in silent laughter as he handed Eren his since he was finished. Both looked at the boys with affection in their eyes. They were so lucky and so happy it was almost like a dream._

They we all still drunk but not near as bad when they got up. They paid for a cab but the only one that would pick them up was small and they had to ride Erwin and Levi in the seat and Armin and Eren in their laps. The driver was an old Turkish man and he drove like a mad man. Eren started cursing him out in Turkish when he almost hit a light pole and chased away from a cop surprising everyone but Armin who knew he was fluent thanks to his mother's insistence they speak it together at home. Armin had learned as well while he lived with them, fluent but nowhere near the native level Eren was. The man seemed shamed but equally delighted someone was speaking his native tongue and proceeded to talk Eren's ear off. Eren bickered with him as they approached the hotel about politics and religion. They paid and walked inside to the elevator.

Armin leaned against Eren, his head resting in the crook of Eren's neck nuzzling the sensitive skin as Eren's arms wrapped around him massaging his lower back. Both were tired but oddly enough, very horny after being tempted on and off that night. Armin bit softy the exposed skin suckling a faint purple mark as the elevator came to a close. Eren's eyes were closed but when the door beeped he opened them and pulled Armin's mouth off. Levi held the door for them as they slowly made their way into the hall and down to their room where Erwin was unlocking it.

Once inside Levi and Erwin took their clothes off leaving them in their briefs. Armin was pawing at Eren's clothes and after the things that had been allowed to pass so far that night Eren decided to take chance and see just what their two older lovers would allow. He discarded his clothes quickly as well as Armin's who sighed in relief once left in nothing at all, his skin flushed at the site of Eren's naked form, one he knew so well. Armin pulled Eren to the bad falling back on it and wrapping his legs around Eren's trim waist before kissing him and earning an appreciative moan from Eren. They kissed passionately, comfortably as they had their entire teenage lives when they had explored each other in the shadows. Eren's hips rolled against Armin increasing their pleasure. Armin whined after a particularly rough roll and Eren decided to keep them coming.

After what felt like hours they sat up, Armin's legs still wrapped around him but now sitting in Eren's lap. This was Armin's favorite position, whether it was just while kissing or riding Eren, this was the way he liked to be. His hands fisted in Eren's hair as he left his lips, slick and swollen and traveled down to all of the soft spots of Eren's neck and collar bones. Eren moaned, throaty and needy. Armin liked to tease him but he'd missed Eren like this, missed the familiarity of them moving together intimately. He wanted to do this quickly and he wanted to do it well.

Armin's lips found his again, their tongues fighting for dominance. Eren bucked up a few times causing Armin to falter and gasp. He sucked Eren's tongue greedily making him shudder. When it withdrew he bit Eren's lips letting him know he was ready to take things further. When they pulled back panting and flushed, hips still moving slightly searching for friction, Armin's eyes glinted with a taste of sadism that made heat pool in Eren's stomach. "Açik, güzlem (open, my beautiful one)" Eren opened his mouth taking in Armin's petite fingers that were soon delightfully fucking his mouth and choking him. He learned he liked it rough with Armin who had always been the more open of his partners. Jean had been reluctant to make him submit to the level he wanted but after taking some time to think about it Armin had embraced it and became a wonderful dom. After his fingers were coated he removed them. Trails of saliva still attached and a small impish smile as his free hand pulled Eren closer into a bruising kiss where only their panting and gasps for air could be heard.

Armin reached back inserting a finger into himself as Eren sucked and bit his neck leaving a splatter of purple on his collar bone and shoulder. Armin was successfully fucking himself on three fingers when Eren removed his hand from his entrance bringing it up as sucking on them much to Armin's delight. He hadn't been rimmed in a long time and Eren loved to do it. He almost crawled off and offered him the opportunity but they didn't have time. Eren loved to suck Armin's cock, his fingers, his toes, anything. Armin lifted himself up before lowering himself on Eren's swollen cock. He took him in inch by inch groaning in pleasure at being filled.

Eren's back tensed, the well sculpted muscles contacting in the light of the windows that lined the walls for panorama views. They looked debauched as Armin slid up and down on Eren, his hair bouncing and falling perfectly to frame his face. His bangs obscured his eyes leaving his open mouth on display. Eren moaned and bucked up to meet him, pounding into his tight hot petite body. Armin's nails dug into his skin leaving trails of red up and down his back causing Eren to cry out wantonly.

Eren allowed a litany of Turkish to fall from his mouth; dirty promises and wishes that turned Armin on and made him leak precum all over. It fell over the head of his pink cock like a waterfall. Eren kissed him needy and rough before biting the side of his jaw and asking, begging, him to slap him. Armin's hand pulled him back harshly, roots stinging in protest and his neck strained at the angle before he was rewarded with a resounding slap to his face. He could taste blood in his mouth as he smiled. He moved back for another and then another. He was hitting Armin's prostate dead on and knew he was so close to losing control. He wanted to see Armin come so he took him in his hand and stroked in time with his thrusts.

Armin cried out tightening around Eren as he neared his climax. Not to be outdone, his hands found Eren's throat giving him what he really wanted and choked him, choked him a lot harder and rougher than Levi did and it felt good, dangerously good. Eren lost himself and they came together whining and moaning. They slumped against each other, shaking limbs and sweaty skin. They rode out the rest of the aftershocks exchanging lazy kisses and reaffirming caresses to each other before Eren lifted Armin off of him to the side and they lay facing each other trying to catch their breath and searching for warmth after the sweat started to cool on their skin.

The sound of a chair moving on the wooden floor set them on edge. Eren's skin burned as he felt a hand trace from his ankle to his shoulder. Armin sighed as he felt Erwin’s large hands pick him up and hold him to him. Armin's legs wrapped around his waist as Erwin's hand brushed his hair out of his face and caressed his cheek bone. Erwin kissed him, easily maintaining control as Armin, boneless and hazy, clung to him feeling his hardness press into him.

Eren felt Levi turn him over on his stomach. He left kisses up and down his spine, occasionally he nipped at his skin making Eren shudder. Cool fingers wet from lube made their way to his entrance. He smiled as Levi inserted the first finger slowly stretching him as the other hand massaged his cheeks.

The bed dipped, Armin was laid next to Eren also on his stomach. Their faces turned towards each other as Erwin’s fingers teased Armin's already stretched hole. Both men kept up their ministrations until both were hard again and whining to be taken. Levi leaned back on his haunches lifting Eren's hips up higher and admiring his toned body and luscious curves. Erwin did the same, leaving kisses on Armin's perky bottom. Both exchanged looks at the other's partners and then the other's own body. Levi swelled with satisfaction, pride, and smugness under Erwin’s gaze. They leaned in kissing each other passionately as both their lovers turned to them, clenching the sheets in anticipation and growing arousal at the scene behind them. Levi broke away a thin bead of blood on his lip as Erwin looked absolutely feral. With a few swift and stern spanks to their lovers asses they sheathed themselves fully and started up a relentless pace.

Eren moan unabashed as Levi pounded him. His fingers reached out finding Armin's as Armin bucked back into Erwin and groaned, eyes rolled back and mouth open. It was like being high watching Armin get fucked next to him and he lost himself as Levi leaned over him biting and sucking while grabbing his hips and bruising them. Levi's hand moved down to stroke teasingly at Eren's erection while the other left red hand prints on his cheeks as he swatted them. Eventually he slid his hand up his back to his hair, pulling his head back as Eren hissed in pleasure, and held him there as he fucked him into the mattress roughly and thoroughly.

Erwin had a sneaking suspicion about something Armin would be an absolute slut for. His already huge length stretched him wider. Since he was looser and more pliable now, Erwin decided to test out something. He inserted a finger alongside his engorged cock earning a slurred hiss of _"Y-y-y-eeee-s-s-ssss Daddy...oh god yes daddy please more daddy daaaaddy pleaseee_ and then he inserted another while pounding into him. Armin was writhing uncontrollably from the stimulation. He came quickly thereafter, falling limply and letting Erwin use his body till he found his own release filling him up and claiming him again. Erwin held himself up, much to the protest of his fractured ribs that were screaming in pain, not to fall and crush Armin who was open mouthed and drooling as his eyes fixed on Eren and Levi. It wasn’t long after that they both finished and joined them in post orgasmic bliss.

They lay for a few minutes till Levi got up to head to the bathroom. Eren followed, limping and glassy eyed. Erwin turned to Armin, his eyes playful and a bit astounded like Armin was a new species of animal that he was learning things about for the first time, “You’re a kinky little thing.” Armin laughed tiredly, “I am and I’m fucking proud. Don’t shame a kink, Erwin. It will come back to bite you.” Erwin moved to get up when he heard the shower turn on, “Let’s get clean.” Armin tried to move but his legs were like jelly, “Daaaaaddy, carry me.” His voice was whining and childish, he pouted knowing Erwin wouldn’t deny him. He lifted him up and carried him into the bathroom and the shower where they washed.

After the all returned to bed, Eren and Armin curled up in the center together limbs and arms tangled together like they had done as children. Eren fell asleep quicker than ever with Levi against his back and Armin’s sweet little breaths across his chest. Erwin rolled on his side, pressing himself against Armin as he slung and arm over the two in the middle. Eren hoped that Levi would stay asleep this night and get some rest he greatly needed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes things happen at inopportune times. The brain fires synapses that travel along neuropath ways to other areas of the brain that unlock other forgotten memories. Memories, as we have come to learn, are not actually remembrances of that time but of the last time you thought about the event. Sometimes, the best way to preserve a memory is to not think about it and certainly not poke around in it and fixate on something too long, something that could be worthless but now what was really important is lost due to the deterioration the memory. Sometimes, when you’re trying so hard not think about something, you honestly forget it and suddenly it all comes back to you, in a flash. Like the sound of striking a match, a flame is created; a light in the darkness illuminates the space and reveals the ghosts of your past. Levi’s mind was a illuminated. 

_You invite me in, you speak to me, get off my land_ Levi’s world was on fire. How was it that he’d never even suspected them? No one would have. Everyone trusted them and there was no reason to doubt that. They’d been involved in his life for three years. They’d been there and he’d known ever since Hanji had told him… _Their working for them but why?_

Back at the pit full of sand that covered layer after layer of bodies Levi stood, sweat stained and bloodied. His hands had open wounds and he wore rags that once used to be a part of his uniform. He heard Erwin cough, turned around to see him sitting down on the ground, towel in hand to wipe the sweat from his face. He looked up at Levi, his eyes sunken in form lack of nutrition and food. They had made a sling for his arm so he could rest it when he absolutely didn’t need it. Levi had taken on more of the duties so he didn’t have to use it. 

The sun was high, making him squint. Erwin had taken the brunt force of what it was like to be pro-Israel in a very anti-Semitic land by refusing to let go of Levi and step to the other side with the handful of other Christians they had as hostage. They forced them to share rations, work the same shifts and perform the same tasks. All were horrible. Levi lost himself. He knew he was disassociating more than half the time and then there was the fact he’d become completely desensitized to killing and death. He actively hoped the person next to him was hit with the bullet when they didn’t move quickly enough. He even sometimes hoped that they killed Erwin instead of him but sometimes that was more because he wanted a reason to launch a full out assault on them for revenge. He was sick mentally, scarred and broken. 

Levi walked towards him but stopped when their slave driver appeared. He’d taken a perverted liking to Erwin and every day tried to convince him to give up sticking with Levi. If Erwin chose to forsake him, he’d be dead within a week. He had a pomegranate and an orange. He said, “Tell me boy,” he always referred to Erwin as boy like he was some sort of American country man and it made Levi’s stomach turn with hatred, “You believe that Christ was the messiah and you follow the law of the Christians. So, what can wash away your sins?” Erwin looked at the ground and then to the man, “Nothing but the blood of Jesus…” his voice trailed off waiting for whatever may come. It wasn’t uncommon for them to answer and be beaten regardless if their answer was wrong or right. It was just a way to provoke them. “HA! Nothing but the blood of that little Jew over there, boy. He’ll be the death of you.” 

He leered at Levi, turning his boots in the dirt, “But, you know you’ve done well so I’ll give you a treat.” He motioned for a new slew of civilians that had been fingered as anti-Hamas and whatever else political dissidents, critics, academics, etc… to be brought over. “If you give me a kiss, boy, wid dat pretty little mouth of yours I’ll give you this orange. If you kill those peoples there, all four of dem, I’ll give you both the orange and the pomegranate and if you kill that Jew,” his eyes had burned, “I’ll let you go. Honest.” Levi internally scoffed. He’d never let Erwin go. Rape him and shoot him, yeah, but go? Never. Levi braced for the decision. 

Erwin stood up, sand on his pants falling off into the breeze swept along the road. It wasn’t Gaza, it was almost worst. Freedom, or the chance of it, was more obtainable but still so far out of reach. Erwin took his pistol and moved to shoot the four people: a mother and father and their two children. When he turned back the man laughed fully, slapping Erwin on the back like he’d done something hilarious. Levi was numb. He didn’t’ even flinch when he had heard the shots, even if they might have turned on him. He could have gotten everything. “You could have shot dat Jew and those peoples and just left with a little food, you know?” So that had been his plan the whole time that he’d wanted Erwin to follow, _sick fuck._

The music played over the loud speakers to drown out the sound of killing. Whatever person had made the playlist only made one and never sought to change it. The same song came on filling Levi’s ears with it and his mind with the faces those four people, _”Oriental Dress, The One You Love Is A Mess, Men Standing, Women Dancing, I watch….I watch”_ The man gave the two pieces of fruit to Erwin telling them it was time to go back in the hole and leave _Bad City_ for the day. They went back to their now empty cell that had been filled with 20 others with only room to stand pressed against each other like how Levi had imagined the cattle cars of Europe to have been like for his family. He still had issues with tight spaces.

They went to the farthest corner away from the door. That was something they’d learned to do. At night they’d come and pull the ones to weak to move out and shoot them, making room for others they’d say as they shut the door back. With Levi’s leg and Erwin’s arm they needed to be as far away as possible because at night their limbs became stiff and they were too groggy to retaliate. Erwin spread his legs allowing Levi to curl in-between them and lean on his chest. He took the fruit out, “Just eat it yourself. You shot them.” Erwin shoved the pomegranate in Levi’s hand, “Isn’t this a holy fruit? Something about….commandments? Or Mitzvahs?” Levi snorted, touched but not wanting to let on, “Mitzvoth, but yeah, the number of seeds is supposedly the exact number of commandments, 613. tThat’s actually a widespread misconception for it can have many seeds. Though, it’s not a horrible factoid or anything to accept for it serves a purpose.” Levi started to peel it and break it open gently as Erwin peeled the orange deftly even with his one hand.

Erwin tried to eat the orange but Levi sighed and rolled his eyes taking it from him and shifting to feed Erwin. After a few quiet minutes Erwin shifted, “You bastard. You keep trying to feed me more than my share. Fucking stop and eat.” Levi looked at what was left, “Your arm worries me.” Erwin rolled his eyes, “Your leg worries me. Eat. Live. Isn’t there also some shit about “an hour of life is still life?” Levi’s eye watered as he ate, “You’re becoming Jewish. That doesn’t bode well for you here.” Erwin studied him making sure he did indeed eat what was left, “Maybe I’ll convert.” He mumbled but noticed Levi go stiff, “No one….no one would wish to be a Jew, Erwin.” He left it alone. They both did. They let the night come and hoped that no one came to pull them out and shoot them and toss them in the pit outside with the others. Levi selfishly, hoped it wasn’t him. 

But, why now? Why think of this now? Levi stood in the middle of _Bad City_ and across from him he saw and envoy of Red Cross workers who were paid off to say they saw nothing of the illegally detained prisoners of war. He saw them crawl into the back of their vans after the relief packages were distributed not to those who needed them but to the militants with guns. He saw a young man climb into the back with his Red Cross armband higher than the others on his arm, a pleasing face but one that wasn’t remarkable in any way. They made eye contact and then the doors shut. The dream was over. _Bad City bad city badcity badcety badsity bahdchity badasi badahceetee bahdehschitie ___

”Levi!” 

“Levi! God damn it every night, every single fucking night.”

“Levi TELL ME!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Levi’s eyes were open, he was sweating, clutching something, _Eren’s sleeper shirt_ , and he was on his back pinned down and crushed by Eren’s long limbs. “Levi,” his voice was stern, “Levi, every night, even since you’ve gone _mute,_ you’ve woke me up talking in your sleep. I have to know, I ABSOLUTLY FUCKING HAVE TO KNOW, what the fuck is it?!” Armin continued to lay still on the bed as Erwin moved off to stand awkwardly to the side. It was so quiet; they more than likely hadn’t heard the insistent mantra Levi muttered every night, every night since Valentine’s Day more than a month ago. Eren leaned down, his face a mere two inches away, he was intimidating, manic looking, and angry. He wasn’t the normally happy go lucky guy Erwin and Levi had come to know. It was disturbing. “Eren, you’re getting too mad.” Armin’s voice was warning as he reached out to grab his wrist, “You know you’re getting too close to edge. Let go of Levi.” Eren’s eyes closed for brief second his neck flushed red, veins purple, and his body trembled with effort before he let go of Levi and moved over to Armin. 

Armin sat up getting off the bed, “Let’s go.” He pulled on Erwin’s coat over his pajamas and grabbed the room key. Eren followed obediently as they left the room. When Armin turned to close the door he looked at Erwin, “We’ll be back in shortly.” And then they were alone and horribly confused. 

They returned about fifteen minutes later, a very cold Armin and a less angry Eren. He just looked tired and that’s when Erwin figured it out. Eren had been repressing much of what was going on with Levi because he didn’t want to force him to do or think anything that could be detrimental. Eren had been winding and winding tighter and tighter till something finally broke him. What had that been? Eren moved to sit in front of Levi, “I’m sorry for getting angry. I get angry. I haven’t been sleeping right since Valentine’s Day.” Erwin moved closer, “Why? Why haven’t you said anything?” Eren moved closer to Levi, “Because you do and say things in your sleep, Levi. Sometimes, they fucking terrify me. You say all kinds of things, tell me secrets. I assume they’re secrets because I mean, I wouldn’t repeat them even if my life depended on them. And honestly, I don’t give a shit really about what you’ve done or who who you-“ Levi’s eyes widened in horror, “You get my point. But, I have to fucking know, Levi. I have to fucking know what or where this bad city is. You’ve chanted it since you went mute every night. You’ll wake up sweaty and upset and I know you’d be upset at yourself if you knew you’d woke me up so I just lay there…I lay there and pretend to be asleep till you finally relax. We do this every night.” 

Erwin stepped forward excitedly, his voice trembled with emotion,“You can speak, Lee. You can speak. You can get over this and speak.” He was still concerned, as he should be, at what Eren knew about them and their past. It wasn’t that he’d intended to hide everything but he worried that they’d leave if they knew, knew what they’d done to survive. Levi looked to Eren, scooting forward to cup his face, _he already knows things, knows my sins_ , he opened his mouth; anxiety overtook him as Donner moved in his kennel, _he didn’t leave me. I can tell him, I can tell Eren._ He cleared his throat, when he spoke he stuttered and trembled, “Ba-a-d” he coughed, “Bad c-city isn’t a real name. I-it-s-s a nickname. It’s Baidschi, but the p-p-people w-h-h-o…” Levi didn’t even know how to begin and he didn’t really want to. 

Erwin stepped up for him like many times before.”The men who were basically our handlers, slave owners, torturers, people who took us hostage and beat us and did horrible things to us for eight months all spoke a little broken English and when they spoke to us Baidaschi sounded like “Bad City.” So, we’ve always called it “Bad City.” They’d play music when they had us there; they rotated hostages and used them to do dirty work. This was the second to last stop on the rotation for us, when they sent us to Egypt we escaped, but that’s for a later story, and it was said no one ever left “Bad City” because they’d shoot all day long political dissidents and people that didn’t align with the regime or Shariah law or whatever else displeased them and they’d play this music all day loudly and the song you played on Valentine’s Day “Dancing Girl” was the main one they played. They thought it was catchy and fun. It’s also a song Levi used to dance to in the barracks before we were taken. It was one of his best routines and I think that’s what started the sleep talking. I hope you’ll continue to not treat him or I differently and just…wait before you start making judgments…” 

Eren and Armin processed the information in silence. Levi’s face was tear stricken, “I’m so happy I can talk to you again, Eren. I love you so much. I don’t tell you often enough.” Eren surged forward kissing him, “Shut up and kiss me.” Levi sobbed a brief giggle as Eren’s lips covered his. A flashback to that day at the lake house where he’d told Eren the same thing when he’d gotten too mushy. “But, I have something else to say.” Eren’s eye shone, “What is it?” Armin had sat in one of the chairs after letting Donner out, “The message on the screen.” Levi nearly jerked out of his skin. 

He’d been so careful not to say anything how did he know? “How the fuck do you know anything about that?” It was a snarl that put Erwin on edge, “Don’t talk to him like that. I didn’t do anything to Eren when he had you pinned down and helpless.” Erwin flushed red, fist clenched. Armin merely continued, “Jean saw it. Give him some credit. He’s got eyes and he knew that it was important. He told me and I started looking in to things on my own. You became visibly upset about it before the alarm went off according to him.” Armin looked tired as he met Levi’s eyes.

”I know who the mole is and I think you do too. We just didn’t arrive at it the same way.” Levi was still miffed. “How many steps ahead of me are you?” He hissed through clenched teeth, _if he’d just told me then we could have worked together._ Armin’s eyes glinted with anger, “Maybe five or six, but that’s beside the point. I have an unhealthy habit of never turning off. I just keep processing information continuously. Plus, this affects you and believe it or not you’re important to me, you fucking asshole. You and Erwin are at risk. Eren and Jean are involved in this as well and at risk. Was I supposed to just sit back and be useless? I’m not worth anything when it comes to a lot of situations but here I can at least lend some sort of assistance. I’m tired of always being the most useless person.”He mumbled the last part before clenching his fists, “So, do we just say who it is now or what?” Armin and Levi were both stewing in rage by the end of his sentence.

Levi gritted out behind clenched teeth, “How do we even begin? It’s someone we know.” Armin turned in the chair to see Erwin’s pitiful face. He looked so lost and drawn in on himself. “I don’t want to talk about this right now.” His voice was low a whisper. “I can’t talk about it right now.” He was being crushed by the weight that someone they knew was involved and Erwin hadn’t considered that. Armin moved forward, “We don’t have to talk about it right now. We can all go back to sleep knowing that Levi can talk, we’re all together and we’re all safe, and we’re almost out of the woods. When we wake up and go to lunch we can talk about it then. Nothing is going to happen today and nothing is going to happen this week. We’ve got time.” Eren moved towards Levi, “Yeah, we just need to sleep on this. But, please…it’s not Hanji is it?” Armin shook his head, “God no. They’re fine.” Eren looked Armin dead in the eye, “But, you’re lying.”


	25. Adrestia

The sky was cloudy and the wind had a bone chilling bite as he made his way through the crowded streets of downtown New York. He passed by happy couples, tourists, day workers, CEOs that dripped with money and then there were the homeless begging on the streets. He’d begged his fair share while moving around searching for someone to complete him. He’d started picking off his homeless friends to see what made them tick in poorly lit hotel rooms while he was systematically kicked out of each medical school he was accepted to. One would think they’d all have learned about him but he was a shadow on the wall, a paperless person, and nothing more.

When he came to New York he decided to lay low, met a nice boy with the sun in his eyes. They were narrow and piercing. It looked like they were made of honeyed flecks and molten gold. He loved his pale skin, marked up a bit from his scuffles on the streets. He had a thin scar on his hip from a knife fight and an appendix scar. It wasn’t done very well, he’d thought to himself as he’d traced it as they lay on the mattress on the floor of their apartment they shared with three other people. He’d gone missing on for almost a month with dodgy phone calls and promises for understanding. By Friday he called form a pay phone saying they needed to talk about something important.

They met in a rough and tumble bar. It smelled like piss, vomit, and beer in the ally as he went through the back into the kitchen grabbing food off the plates as he passed. A man slapped him with a cloth, “He’s got you food out there, you freak.” He smiled widely at the man making him take a step back. He’d always been different. It bothered him as a child but soon he learned it was more of a gift than a curse. He could intimidate people without trying and that always led to him coming out on top. 

He moved through the bar to the only window booth there where his love sat. His blond hair shimmered in the light as he drank from his tea cup. He was overjoyed and spoke first, “Hey babe, how are you?” The boy smiled, “Jemison,” he exhaled, relieved and happy; “I’m doing better now that I get to see you.” He leaned across the table kissing him. “What did you want to talk about, Farlan?” Farlan sat back in his seat, “You remember the old boss, Levi?” Jemison nodded, he didn’t know him well but had seen countless Polaroids of him and Farlan and Isabel, his roommate, together smiling and sometimes in compromising situations or covered in scrapes and bruises. “Well, he left us and went into the marines when he turned 18. Isabel and I are going to join and try and get put in his squad now that he’d up in the ranks. We were really close and he’s like a big brother to us or…a father figure is more like it.” He offered a small encouraging smile to Jemison. 

Jemison’s smiled faded, “When?” Farlan took his hand, “Two weeks from now. I’m sorry. You’ve got school here so I figured when you finished I’d be done with my first or second tour and then we could decided where we wanted to live. I’d have some money and we could buy a house together or apartment in the city.” Farlan smiled and Jemison couldn’t help but feel warmed by it. He looked down at their linked hands, “Can I ask you a question?” Farlan’s smile turned sly, “Gunna ask me to marry you?” If only that didn’t mean he’d have to tell the truth about his age and background. “One day. But, no, that’s not it. Would you be able to Skype and stuff?” Farlan nodded, “Yeah, that’s what Levi and us have been doing. He can’t do it all the time and that’s normal. But, if anything happens then I’ve listed you as my point of contact since you know…” Farlan shrugged finishing his tea and ordering them two beers.

After they drank a fair amount they went back to their apartment to fool around and hang out. He asked how school was going and went on and on about how smart and talented Jemison was. “One day, babe, you’re gunna bring people back to life if you keep on with that stuff.” Jemison had showed him the research he’d been doing on the side for a pharmaceutical company about delaying decomposition of corpses for medical examiners to use in homicide cases. He’d messed around with the base a few times and had made interesting variations that stopped decay all together in some cases. Farlan wasn’t one for the morbid and he pushed the papers and photos away taking Jemison’s face and kissing him all over. “I’ll miss you.” Jemison smiled, “Just come back, okay?” Farlan smiled wrapping his hands around his shoulders, hands coming up to card through the short black hair that was cut in a smart and clean jelled 1950s style side part with a little quiff. 

When Jemison left to head into work for the night shift he promised to stop by in the morning before heading to school, his dark eyes shinned against the darkened hallway, clean sky blue button up and grey slacks, Farlan felt like they were in an old movie where he was going off to fight in WWII. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, Farlan. Stay safe and let me know if you leave.” Farlan nodded looking at his feet. Jemison always wanted to know where he was. “I will, love you.” Jemison left and Farlan closed the door. Farlan was unaware that Jemison would know if he left anyway, he’d installed cameras in every room in the apartment to keep tabs on him. 

Coming down the stairs he bumped into someone moving quickly with bags bursting with food and other things. “Hey! Watch where you’re going, man!” They pulled the bags down reveling large green eyes and fiery red hair. “Oh, Jeeter, it’s you. Sorry, man. Long day and I’m hungry. I guess you’re off to work. See you in 12 hours.” Isabel’s laughter echoed in the staircase as Jemison nodded, “Stop calling me that. That’s a horrible name.” Isabel pouted, “It’s a nickname, not a real name. Plus, it’s kind of fits the creepy vibe you can give out sometimes, don’t you think? Kinda like “Jeepers creepers, where’d you get those peepers?” Jeeper and Jeeter sound similar.” Jemison popped her lightly on the head smiling softy, “God, you need to learn to spell. Bye, Isabel.” She pouted moving up the stairs as Jemison James moved along the dark streets on his way to work looking for a new victim to pick up on the way.

When he got to the lab he was happy to notice that his favorite colleague would be on shift with him. He was arranging samples when Jemison entered the room, “Hej, hej. How’s it going?” The young man turned around, “Not good. My mother’s terminally ill.” Jemison moved to start checking levels on the nearby screens, “What is it?” The boy sighed, “Lung cancer” he turned to face him, “from all those years smoking those hand rolled cigarettes I bet. She survives DP camps and comes to America, has me at 40 like a champ and then goes and gets cancer. I thought she was invincible.” His eyes wateedr and Jemison can’t help but feel bad for him. He was also the product of an immigrant family, one he’d tried to forget, “Even the strongest people can get cancer. It’s a horrible equalizer. It attacks regardless of class or sex or ethnicity or even religion.” 

The boy nodded, “I’m going to the Middle East, you know?” Jemison didn’t, “So is my boyfriend. That’s strange.” The boy smiled, “I didn’t know you had a boyfriend?” Jemison started cleaning some beakers and arranged the dishes on the shelf “Are you jealous?” He leered at him fully aware how creepy he was but instead of turning away he only laughed, “No, sorry. I only like women but if I didn’t I’m sure I’d be heartbroken. Why is he going?” 

The bell rang for the hood, something was finished processing, “Marines. He starts in two weeks. I’m going to be so sad to see him go but at least when he gets back he said we could buy a house or apartment together.” He felt hollow when he spoke. It was dangerous and he could die. Jemison actively tried to fight that thought and tear it from his mind. “I’ll probably see him. I’m going in as a Red Cross volunteer. What’s his name? I’ll look him up.” Jemison turned to pull out his phone finding a photo of them together at a party a few weeks ago and holding it up, “Farlan Church.” 

They continued to speak until their shift was over and then they decided to get coffee like they had other times before. “Hey, I know this small town down south that’s home to this bustling cutting edge university. A lot of the things you research and do would really line up with what the science department’s leading professors are exploring. What if I shoot a friend an email and get you in touch with some people? It’ll be a good distraction with Farlan leaving.” Jemison sipped his coffee, “Yeah that sounds great. Who is the friend?” The boy smiled, “Ah just this guy who I met at a conference a few years back. He’s a Palestinian.” Jemison’s eyes closed, “Like you?” The boy shook his head, “Palestinian-American, remember? Plus, I have no home so I can’t even call myself the first can I?” Jemison had always stayed out of the politics of the Middle East because nothing there was ever simple. You had to ask yourself, is what’s being portrayed really the truth? Could this new so called “stateless people” really be more put upon than the Jews? Were the Israeli’s responsible for human rights violations and the impediment of a two party state? It didn’t really sit well in his stomach and he liked this guy but he also didn’t think his hatred was really all that founded in the complex web of half truths and false lies. Either way, pissing him off and getting into a political debate where they would surely disagree with one another only made things worse. “I’ll give him a call. Thanks.” The boy drained his coffee, “I gotta catch the train. Talk to you soon, Jemison. My number and everything is also there.” He stood up pulling his coat on and left waving on his way out.

Jemison stared at the card and before talking himself out of it he shot off a quick email to the man like he promised. What could it hurt?

Four Months Later

The static cleared and the tone for Skype began. Soon the screen was filled with Farlan’s face, leaned in close with his head resting on his crossed arms, “Hey babe.” His smiled caused heat to pool in Jemison’s chest, “Hey.” They smiled at each other, “I can’t talk long.” His voice was rough and low from sleep, “Can’t fool around either. We’re going out on mission in about ten minutes, Jem. How’s school?” Jemison had been doing well and was actually content to stay doing well. Perhaps, Farlan was changing him for the better, “It’s going well. I’m a year ahead. When you get back we’ll be able to settle down and I’ll be making bank, babe.” Farlan laughed, “Good, I want to be a trophy husband.” Jemison removed his shirt getting ready for work, “That’s not fair, Jem.” Farlan admonished as he blushed pink in the apples of his cheek. 

Jemison sat down, “Not my fault you can’t fool around.” Just then the door opened in Farlan’s trailer, “Farlan, what are you doing?” The voice was deep and held a slightly flirty tone, Jemison didn’t care for it. Farlan jerked up, “Nothing, Levi. I’ll be out in a sec.” Jemison was on fire, “You could have told him you were talking to your boyfriend.” Farlan sighed, “Out here…being open about relationships is a double edge sword. I don’t want to give them anything they can use to fuck with me and if they talked about you and I like they do Isabel’s relationship with this shithead we met in basic then I’d have a lot enemies behind my own lines. You get it?” Jemison pouted, “Whatever. I love you.” Farlan laughed standing up and leaning in to the camera, “I love you, too babe. I’m gunna be MIA for at least three days.” He leaned in kissing the monitor, “I’ll talk to you in three.” He waved goodbye and the connection ended. Jemison tried to push down the worry and jealousy. He knew Farlan and Levi had never been intimate but he was someone Farlan talked highly about and respected. He saved his life. It was the only thing keeping his life safe from Jemison’s dark fantasy of _opening him up, slicing that marble flesh, and plunging his hands inside that warm cavern and seeing what made him-_

Jemison inhaled harshly, _that was no good, getting so excited when he had work to go to._

He went to work, the lab empty without his favorite coworker who’d been overseas almost three months. His mother had died and with her a piece of himself. He became radical and after finding out Jemison had lived with a gangster he tried to data mine him for potentially dangerous motivations. 

He waited patiently for the three day mark when he’d open his computer to Farlan’s call. But that day was completely different. He was instead greeted to a knock at the door and a letter with condolences. Farlan had died taking his turn at sentinel duty by a rogue truck driven by a drunk driver. Jemison knew they were lying. “He was going out on a mission, not patrolling the area. Where is he? Where is his body?” They shook their head, “On a ship. It’ll be here in a week.” Jemison screamed, “THAT WILL BE TOO LATE.” He demanded more information and at the end of the week when he finally received the body it was embalmed and Farlan’s color was missing, his lips white, his nails blue, and his hair lackluster. 

Jemison lost himself, he lost everything. He was consumed with what-ifs and if-onlys and he could have brought him back, he could have saved him if they’d got him to him sooner, right? He could have kept him alive, right? He was crushed, body mangled when they found him but he could have set him and with some physical therapy he could have been okay, right? Yeah, Jemison could have done it. But, they prevented him and that _Levi_ was officially MIA and he just knew, he knew he was alive and he had failed him. He had failed in protecting the most precious person in his life and he would make him suffer. 

Farlan and Isabel were both buried together in one of New York’s largest and oldest cemeteries. His decent into madness was now past the point of no return. He cast a picture of himself Farlan had taken one morning when they were in bed together into the casket to be buried. Jemison James was dead. Now, Jeeter would rise from the ashes and would find his own form of revenge, solace, and peace. The phone in his pocket vibrated, he’d already made a call to the Red Cross to see if he could get in touch with his friend. He would track down Levi Ackermann and if not, if he be really dead, he’d make sure his next partner would never end up like Farlan. He swore to become like Adrestia herself. 

_She whom none can escape._


	26. The Mole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot happens:
> 
> The mole is revealed and confirmed.  
> Hanji and Mike get a surprise from Erwin and Levi.  
> Jean finishes his commissions for Erwin and Levi.  
> Erwin and Armin have a very important talk about their relationship.  
> Both men decided to try and heal from their past wounds.

The phone vibrated on the table as the sun light poured in through an opening in the curtains. Eren groaned, his head ached but it was more the fact he didn’t want to get up yet. Levi stirred reaching over grabbing him closer and kissing his leaving multiple soft kisses to his temple, “Brat” his voice was rough, “did I do it again?” Eren moved closer. Armin and Erwin were tightly tangled together exchanging lazy kissing and nuzzles as well. “No, you didn’t. Thank God. I might have lost it and strangled you.” Levi snorted, “Then I’d be dead. Wouldn’t you be sad?” Eren stroked his face meeting his gaze with a look of “oh, honey” that made Levi’s eye crinkle in anticipation of whatever was about to fall out of Eren’s mouth that would provide him with amusement, “I’d just live with Armin and Erwin as the third wheel and hope you left me something in your will. You’re old. Don’t you have a will drawn up or something? I hope you leave me filthy rich.” Levi slapped Eren’s arm, “Ungrateful brat.”

They went to lunch and Armin stretched out over the table, “Okay, so, this is what I know.” He was mostly speaking to Levi who offered him pursed lips and a roll of the eyes to continue, “I started thinking about when the samples went missing in the lab when Eren was there and thought, wow that’s strange, who would have access to that and who would Eren innocently not consider as a threat.” Levi smiled, “Wow, you’re something else. I’m sorry I got angry.” Armin’s smile was full of understanding. “That’s okay Levi. I know you didn’t,” Armin reached over to pat his hand before returning to take a drink from Erwin, “So, what got you started?” Armin sipped his mimosa through a straw.

Levi unwrapped his silverware, “Red Cross.” Erwin cleared his throat, “What?” Levi’s eye narrowed, “They were a Red Cross volunteer. One of the many that took money to not talk about what they saw or that they saw us there. They were getting into the back of the van when I made eye contact. That was the day we got the fruit and I didn’t think anything of it.” Erwin’s mind flashed back to that day. He saw the family he shot in order to get food for him and Levi. He cringed internally at how they were back then, how different they are now with Armin and Eren. Levi’s voice was soft and thoughtful, “I thought we were going to die so why waste energy on remembering faces.” Erwin nodded turning to meet Levi’s eyes, “I was worried about your arm.” Levi shrugged, “I didn’t give a shit about them.” Erwin paused, he knew Levi was referring to the person as well as the family and innocent people they’d killed that day. His mind struggled to remember facts, to remember if anyone there was familiar, “What were they…” And the light bulb went off. Erwin reeled, gasping and grasping the table in front of him, “Oh my God, they’ve been right here the whole time.” His voice full of shock as the realization hit him like a ton of bricks. He’d never felt so blindsided. Eren felt left out, “Who is it? Is it Hanji? Please someone tell me!” Armin shook his head, “I told you last night no. It’s Molbit.” Armin’s eyes were wet but fierce in determination, “Molbit was in the lab with you. You wouldn’t have considered him and nor would Hanji. He’s very….forgettable.” Eren’s mouth fell open as he thought about it.

It was true and Eren felt so stupid. He’d been working with him coming in and out all day so when he left for the night he thought he was closing up alone. Molbit was the reason he was tortured, the reason Levi now triple checked their locks, texted him almost every three hours, sat between Eren and all doors, the reason he’d been unable to relax for weeks now. He was also the one who played the song over and over while Eren and he were alone in the lab. He’d done that on purpose. His face had been delighted as Eren asked for it to play for Levi. Eren wanted to retch as he thought about it. Lost in thought, time moved slowly as everyone else continued to talk around him and go about like normal. 

Levi moved to wrap his arm protectively around Eren, “You’re drooling. Come on, eat your food, brat.” Eren didn’t feel like eating, “How is he connected with Jeeter though?” Armin bristled, “Um well…Jean and I broke into the police station and…” Erwin was floored, “YOU DID WHAT?” The restaurant wasn’t that full but those patrons inside spared a few concerned looks over to the handsome man now turned and looming over another hadsome, but much smaller, man while said smaller man blushed and held up his hands in surrender. Armin’s voice was small and innocent, “Well, we got curious.” Eren cut him off, livid as well, “YOU got curious and YOU knew that Jean would not deny you.” His words were biting. Jean and Eren may not always see eye to eye but Eren hasn’t always enjoyed the utter devotion Jean had for Armin. He was jealous, yes, that he could admit. But he worried about what it meant for Jean’s future with someone. Eren and Armin were already in an unhealthy relationship, which oddly enough had turned out to be perfect for the men they were dating, but dragging Jean in further was something he refused to do, he like Marco much too much for that. 

Armin shrugged, “I got a hold of his computer and found correspondences between him and the university and then later with Molbit. I went from there.” Erwin’s face was still red as he ran his hand over his face before shutting his eyes and continuing, “Where is it now?” Armin smiled, “Well, the information is backed up in a few places. Like, around the university, my car, our home, the dorm has a dummy one just in case to make them think they’d found it or whatever, Jean has one, and I even put one in a lock box under a fake name. The hard part was I had to return a computer to the police.” Erwin’s breath was stuck in his chest, “ _A_ computer?” Armin tried to look apologetic, “I found the same make and model on _ebay_ and just put that one back as a dummy. You never destroy a primary source, Erwin.” He tried to jest but Erwin’s face told him he was having none of that.

Eren couldn’t repress the fond feeling he got looking at Armin. He felt himself bubble with laughter at the thought of him breaking into a police station wearing all black with Jean clumsily moving behind him cursing as Armin’s blond silky hair flowing in the wind with sirens and the James’ Bond theme song in the background. He decided to just laugh. He was upset, yes. But now that they knew Molbit was the mole they could start turning the tables on him and solve this quickly. “When we get back show us what you found, kay?” Eren went back to his food as Armin promised. Both older men were still trying to come to grips with the fact Armin has all of this information at his finger tips and had gone to such lengths to get it. Erwin leaned down kissing Armin’s head, “Baby, I am glad you’re not my enemy.” Armin leaned against his arm, an impish smile on his face as he nuzzled Erwin. “Mhm hmm, never cheat, Erwin. I told you I would destroy you if you did.” Erwin managed a chuckle but that threat had never seemed so real. 

**********************************

Back at the house three hours later, they all sat in the living room waiting for Armin to emerge with more materials and information. Jean and Marco came down, “Hey guys.” Eren glared at Jean, his voice was condescending, “Tell me Jean, if Armin asked you to jump off a building would you do it?” Jean’s eyes narrowed, “You can talk shit all you want but I fucking trust him with my life. I don’t have to justify my actions to you or anyone else so fuck off, Jaeger.” Marco jumped at the sudden hostility, “What is he even talking about Jean?” Jean paled, “I did something stupid and didn’t tell you. Please forgive me.” Marco’s brow furrowed in suspicion, “What did you do?” Jean shied away and shrugged. He mumbled, “You’ll find out shortly. Let’s sit, babe. Try to remember why you love me.” Marco was not enthused but sat regardless.

Armin sat down with a pile of envelopes, “Okay, so here are some reports and time lines I’ve put together.” Everyone jumped at the sound of Erwin slapping both hands on his knees, “I just…cannot with this. I cannot with the fact you’ve had this, that you flat out _stole_ this, and then sat around and made neat color coded reports and timelines.” Armin smiled wickedly from his place on the rug at Erwin, “Are you impressed, daddy?” He winked at him causing Erwin to chuckle a bit. Erwin held his chin as he leaned forward, elbow on his knee, exhaling through his nose, “I am impressed and frightened of you, to be honest. But, oddly enough, I am very turned on about this.” Levi snorted, “You two are disgusting.” Eren kicked Levi while giving him a disapproving look, “We’re just as disgusting.” He mumbled taking Levi’s hand and giving it a squeeze.

Armin spread out the reports, "Jeeter's name while in New York was Jemison James. That's probably an alias but it is clear he was a serial killer from the trail of.....people and parts he left behind him.” Armin’s nose wrinkled and his eyes narrowed as he pulled out photos and list of names and details, “He was living in an apartment with his boyfriend. Who does somewhat resemble Jean as I had suspected.” Marco went rigid as he said the words and Jean looked positively green, “Their eyes are the same color, both had scars on their hips from knife wounds” Marco definitely caught the slight exchange between Jean and Armin as he said the words. Marco had noticed the scar but never asked since with Jean it wasn’t out of the question that he’d probably got that rough housing or in the boy scouts. Now, Marco was worried. “and one from having their appendix taken out, they were the same build as well, and were apparently into the same music and pop culture things. They also used the term of endearment “babe” as seen in their private emails.” Marco felt like bringing Jeeter back from the dead and beating the shit out of him.

”There were living in an apartment with other roommates. But Jeeter was the new comer, not the boyfriend. The boyfriend had been friends with the official legal roommate for years. But, the emails between his boyfriend and him indicated they had at least three others living with them illegally at the time up till the death. That's what I gathered when I called on the apartment and used some good ole southern charm. Ummm...." Armin shuffled papers looking for something, "you....Levi........you were involved without….being.....involved....fuuuuck" Armin sighed looking around at the piles till he leaned back and then exclaimed excitedly at finding an envelope, "Here! Farlan Church and you at a party with an….Isabel? You were friends with them and Farlan was Jemison’s boyfriend." Levi took the photo with shaking hands. 

It had been so long since he saw their faces. He could feel the tears sting in the corner of his eyes but he remained outwardly stoic. The Polaroid was older and slightly bent at the edges. He looked so young. "Can I see it?" Erwin asked quietly while holding his head down as if he was worried he'd violated something potentially. Levi slid the photo to him. "So, he was the one Farlan was seeing. He never told me he was dating someone but I had a suspicion. No one smiles at their computer screen like he did unless they're like Eren looking at photos of kittens." Levi's monotonous voice made his joke land hard as Eren burst into a quick and violent burst of giggles before reining himself in with the decency to look ashamed when Jean made eyes at him. Erwin touched the photo. "Wow...you look so young." Levi nodded, "17 and nothing but a stupid brat…." Erwin snorted, “A brat that faked he was 18 to get into the marines. I can’t believe they still think you’re a year older than you are. I wonder if that could violate our win in the lawsuit.” Erwin mused as Eren turned to give Levi a cheeky smile, “Such a gangster.” They all passed around the photo waiting for Armin to continue.

Armin shifted on the floor before continuing, "He was put in contact with a professor at the University. Before Farlan's death he began discussions on coming but after Farlan died he went MIA. I think Molbit tracked him down and that's how he ended up here. The problem with that is the professor that was his point of contact does not work here anymore and Erwin’s father was trying to track him down. I’ve looked through what I could find in his files,” He paused looking at Erwin who had gone pale and was staring intently at Armin, “in his work folder the University still has,” Erwin’s lip trembled, “and what I found was…perplexing to say the least.” Erwin coughed straightening his bolo tie Armin asked him to wear today because he said it made his eyes shine, “My father is still involved?” Armin gave a small nod, “He fired the professor and let him go,” Armin whispered solemnly, “without pressing charges for the things he’d done. I don’t understand, Erwin. Maybe you would?” Armin moved a small stack of emails to Erwin who took them and covered them with his hands. “I’ll take a look.” He would definitely take a look at his father’s past if only to be close to him again.

Marco shifted on the couch anxiously, “Why did he do it? How did you get this information?” Jean blushed red, “After we made sure everyone was okay and things had started to tone down we broke into the police station and got the computer. I remembered the make and model of the laptop from living with him so Armin bought a replacement and we left it at the station so we could keep the original. Connie and I hacked into it and Armin helped decide what data was useful and what was not.” Marco turned to Jean, “You could go to jail, Jean.” Jean shrugged. Marco frowned, “I’d like more than a shrug.” Jean opened his mouth sputtering, “I-I-I needed to know what was going one. I needed to make you safe. Armin had a sound idea and I went with it. It’s what led us here.” Marco turned to look at Armin. His normally kind eyes were cold and suspicious. “What else did you find out?” He crossed his arms waiting for Jean to continue.

Jean blanched, “Molbit is really smart about how he covers his tracks except that when he drinks he tends to get political. I overheard him at Bloodhounds one night at the Stammtisch but since I was just running in with a friend we got our beer and left to head back to the art studio. I was thinking…” Marco nodded for him to continue, “That we could send someone in and mine him for information.” Marco’s eyebrows lifted, “That’s surprisingly devious. Was that actually Armin’s opinion or did you seriously come up with that.” Jean looked hurt, “I can fucking think for myself.” He grimaced as soon as the words left his mouth but Marco’s expression wasn’t wounded. He must have genuinely been shocked and expected as much from the brutally honest and quick to anger man. “Who did you want to send in?” Jean turned to face the room, “Eren. I want Levi to eventually come in to the picture as well but not at first. He hates Levi.” Eren felt awkward as Levi shifted next to him protectively. 

”I don’t like the idea of sending Eren in unless necessary. You said that he hates me? How do you know and why would that make it a good idea for me to be involved?” Levi’s gaze was hawkish. Jean didn’t falter, “It’s the feeling I get. I just assume from the bits and pieces surrounding Jeeter’s mood around the time Farlan died that he probably blamed you for not protecting him. I assume he was in your squad and therefore, Molbit probably had a good enough reason to dislike you and then there is just this vibe I get when you’re around each other. It’s how he looks at you when you’re not paying attention. He’s a shadow of a person and I don’t trust him.” Levi crossed his legs, “You are a naturally suspicious person, Jean.” He said each word with care and emphasis but Jean couldn’t fathom why. “I assume my presence would upset him if he had come to feel comfortable with just Eren as his drinking buddy and that could lead to some revealing behavioral back lash.” Erwin shifted, “That,” he paused emphasizing the word, “is a very good plan, Jean. Well done.” He smiled at Jean, each perfect pearly tooth on display. Jean blushed at the praise from the commending man. He was someone that Jean had always wanted to please, if only just a little.

Marco smiled taking Jean’s hand, “But, next time you do something you tell me. I promise not to get angry if you tell me right then. Don’t come at me after the fact because the amnesty won’t come.” Marco’s words where chipper and cutting as Jean took the warning to heart. He also saw it as a get out of jail free card and that delighted him. Armin handed everyone a page with facts broken down that they could keep. Erwin was practically drooling over the fine details and uncut corners of Armin’s work. 

Eren stretched nuzzling up to Levi comfortably, “Have you told Hanji yet that you’re hearing and voice is back?” Levi’s mouth twitched, “No. I’d rather do it in person. I’d figured we go over there tomorrow and tell them and get them ready for their baby.” Levi tried to suppress it but there was a small smile that graced his stoic face, “We need to the nearest Baby store so let’s go.” He patted Eren’s thigh before standing up. Erwin looked shy. He mumbled rubbing his hands together, “I wanna go pick out baby stuff…” Armin and Eren exchanged looks, “Our lovers have baby fever.” Armin laughed moving off the floor, “Marco and Jean probably have it to. It’s like hay fever. Everyone can catch it.” Jean snorted, “Thank God we can’t get pregnant. We’d all have litters and be broke and under prepared, except for the old grandpas here.” Levi’s eyebrow rose, “Maybe it’s a good thing _you_ can’t procreate at will.” Eren nearly died from laughter. A burn on Jean was always the best.

***********************************

When the four arrived at the baby store Eren was slightly nervous. He knew Levi and Erwin were set on having kids and the age they were at made it understandable. It did put pressure on Eren to decide when he could see himself starting a family as well. It wouldn’t be fair to make Levi wait till he was too much older but when Eren turned 21 he’d be 28. Some people got married and started a family at 21. Armin could be even more at a disadvantage. He was eight months younger than Eren, only getting to start school with them because of a non-existent cut-off date, that was later instituted to keep four year olds out of class with five year olds, and his amazing intellect. “Oi, brat!” They had been inside for about ten minutes winding up and down the aisles. Levi was pushing a cart with a piece of paper sticking out of his jacket pocket, “What the hell are you thinking about?” Eren nearly jumped out of his skin and like always Levi’s intimidating glare didn’t help. Levi’s anxiety on the other hand was rising by the second. He could feel his chest tighten as Donner walked closer to his side.

Eren just decided to blurt out the first thing that came to mind, “I was thinking about when we should start having kids.” Levi’s face spasmed as he tried to control the look of shock that threatened to cover it. His anxiety shot through the roof, “And did you come to a decision?” His voice cracked and he mentally kicked himself for not reining the comment in. Eren’s eyes shimmered, relieved that he wasn’t mad and totally unaware of how caught off guard Levi was, “Well, when I think that when I’m 21 we should start. I think before you’re thirty we should be on the first one at least, maybe our second.” Levi stopped pushing the buggy when he almost hit a display of diapers. 

Erwin and Armin were on the other aisle and not so subtly eavesdropping. “T-w—wenty o-one? You just turned 19 two days ago and you’re okay with having kids in two years? Are you…are you even sure you want to be with me in two years?” Levi was panicked. The words flowed out as all of his insecurities built up, “What if you get tired of me and don’t you have dreams of moving off and doing something else besides living with an old and grumpy veteran? If I asked you to marry me would you want to? We don’t even share finaces and you want to share a life with another tiny life and you said second so that implies you want to lock yourself down with me for eighteen years for both kids and my God Eren do you have any idea if you’d even love me after that long or if you’d even want be with me for that long?” He regretted his words as soon as he saw the wounded look on Eren’s face, “I don’t see a future without you in it. I want you Levi. I know it hasn’t been that long but doesn’t it just feel right? I’m not looking at anyone other than you and I love you with my whole heart. I know I do.” He was unsure if that would even comfort Levi but it was the truth. 

Levi clutched at the handle miserably, “I’m sorry Eren, that all came out wrong. I’m shit with words. I don’t know why a brat so full of life and wonder would even want to be with me.” Eren surprised him by bursting into laughter, “I never thought I’d hear you say anything like that. Life and wonder are my two best qualities. Not to mention I am your research. We’ll be linked forever unless you want to only use Marco. I mean, he’s pretty attractive but not near as much of a handful as me.” Eren lightly elbowed Levi in the side leaning down to plant a soft and loving kiss on his lips. When he pulled back Levi’s cheeks were a pale pink and Erwin and Armin could be heard making “awww” noises from behind the wall of car seats.

Levi and Eren continued looking for things on the sheet of paper they had as Erwin and Armin made their ways through the clothes. They picked a few neutral thing for Hanji’s little one until Erwin suggested they each pick an outfit for what they think the baby might be. Armin went over to the girl’s section picking out a cute and frilly white lace dress with little pale pink bows. The ribbon ran between slits in the lace horizontally across the chest and hem of the dress. He grabbed a nice pair of socks with ruffles of lace at the top and white leather Mary Janes and a satin pink bow. It looked very much like an outfit a little English girl in the Victorian era would wear and Armin couldn’t help but smile. That was his tastes. When Erwin appeared he held his outfit behind him till they did the reveal.

Erwin had chosen a white pleated and smocked dress shirt. The smocking was in the shape of tiny pale white fleur de lis, a pair of light brown overalls, brown boots, and a little brown news paper hat. When they did the reveal they both laughed at the pair that clearly went together in the same Victorian era. Erwin moved to caress Armin’s face, moving a strand of hair behind his ear, ‘Baby, we are too similar.” Armin smiled, “I’m going to win, though.” Erwin shook his head, “Hanji is definitely going to have a boy. Mike’s going to have a mini me who’ll work with him on the silos and wear flannel and always be chill.” Armin playfully pushed him and put their outfits in the cart. “What would you want first?” Erwin pushed the buggy forward glancing at Armin, “A boy. A son to carry on the Smith legacy.” Armin snorted, “Sexist. Is that all that men care about? Having a son to carry on their name?” Erwin turned them into the book section, “Are you forgetting that you are also a man?” Erwin challenged. Armin smiled, “I want a little girl first. Boys are fine but I would never want them just because they’d carry on the “Arlert” name. In fact, a gaggle of girls would be great.” Armin took Erwin’s hand skipping beside him in the aisle. Erwin tightened his grip over Armin’s smaller hand, “A gaggle…like geese.”

Erwin contemplated Armin’s words, “Have you had similar thoughts as Eren?” Armin was digging through books, “You have to ask?” Erwin toed around the rhetoric, “You did have nifty fact sheets printed in advance. Have you made a timeline for us I can refer to?” Armin turned to look up from where he was squatted on the floor, “Are you really asking? Is this something you want to discuss here? Us? Are we having an “Us” conversation?” Erwin picked a few books out and put them in the buggy, “We can do it here or at home, whichever you prefer, my sweet.” Armin stood up, “Hmmm I do have ideas. I think at home in our bed is where we should talk.” Erwin chuckled, “Sounds like we’d get carried away and not talk if we did that.” Armin hit his arm playfully, “Oh hush. I love you, daddy.” He stepped up on his tip toes kissing Erwin chastely.

They skimmed more of the book titles before Erwin grabbed Armin’s hips pulling him onto his lap in the reading nook, “I don’t think I can wait till we get home.” Erwin mumbled into his shoulder. Armin opened the book before him flipping through, “I thought about the same thing as Eren. I know in four years you could be president of the university and that means you’ll be staying here. I naturally started a little time line.” Erwin hummed, “Like?” Armin giggled, “Gosh you are persistent.” Erwin cradled him so he could see his face, “Very.” Armin reached out to trace his lips whispering, “Tell me what you’ve thought about first, Erwin. I know you’re a planner too.” 

Erwin thought for a moment before replying. "When I finish this summer I'll technically start my master's program and that will move straight into the Ph.D program so in four years, or rather three and a half if I am lucky, I'll be up for the council's consideration. Even if that all goes to shit I have offers to work with professors on books and projects; not to mention, I have a few other connections in various fields where I could do remote work from Maria. I don't actually need to work, in all honesty. We, the Smiths, were rich and thus as the sole heir I was secure before the settlement and now even more so. I planned on letting you decide if this is what you wanted, a traditional life with me and now Eren and Levi seeing as we’re all attached. If you stuck around till the end of my master's I'd planned on asking you to marry me and start a family then. If you wanted to do it later when you were older I'd understand that as well but it is a must that I have kids. I've often thought about us raising children and for me that's when it hit me just how wrapped around your little finger you had me because until I laid eyes on you I was happily resigned to and satisfied with doing so only with Levi. I’d wanted his kids and my kids to be a type family if we didn't have them just the two of us but we never thought there would be two people like you and Eren that would agree to that.” Erwin’s eyes closed, the corners of his lips turned up ever so slightly.

“In all honesty Armin, I just want to spoil you rotten, take care of you, protect you, love you, make a life with you, have a family with you, and be with you forever. I'm invested in this for the long haul. But with age comes knowing what one really wants and is looking for in a person. I have to accept that at your young age I may merely be a stepping stone to your true love. I accept that and have decided to simply treasure each day you give me and not let my want, my natural need, to be possessive take over until you decide." Erwin finished, his eyes were solemn and hesitant as he waited for Armin to process what he thought was a series of regurgitated love declarations he'd made to Armin's sleeping face for months.

Armin turned in Erwin's arms standing up to greet Eren and Levi. "Oi let's go shit heads. Eren has nearly filled two carts with stuff and it looks like y'all are dressing the future duchess of Prussia." Erwin tried not to look hurt that Armin had abandoned him mid conversation, "you know you like the dress, Levi." Armin's tone was laced with cockiness. Levi submitted and tch'ed as he turned around and the group went up to pay. 

In the car Armin sat close to Erwin dozing off here and there as Eren and Levi argued about whose turn it was to clean the bathroom and of course it was Eren's but he made a good case against his skills in comparison to Levi's and the fact that a full clean every three days was a bit insane when he was expected to do it with a tooth brush and under the scrutinizing gaze of his _Capitan_. 

Armin thought about what Erwin had said and how he thought Armin would leave him in just two short years for someone younger and better. That seemed absurd. Armin had everything to gain and nothing to lose by loving Erwin and even though money and materialistic things were nice, and he did keep stock of them as he knew Erwin did too. but it was simply the aura of protection and devotion that Erwin provided Armin that made him sure he was the one. Erwin never looked at anyone else but him. He never said things like he wished he didn't do or say such and such. Even when they argued he never went below the belt and he never compared Armin to other people. In fact, they didn't really argue at all. It was just this bickering and nagging that Armin only found himself doing when fully comfortable with someone and Erwin had admitted one night after they finished a particularly soft and sentimental bout of love making that every time Armin nagged him he felt this warmth blossom in his chest because his nagging amused and pleased him. Erwin had never thought he’d live to find someone that even cared enough to nag him or remind him to get more sleep and take his vitamins or whatever else Armin seemed to bring up in their daily routine. It made him feel important to Armin, like he was needed by him. It meant that Armin had thoughts and needs to be met and he wanted Erwin to meet them and not someone else. Armin felt beyond blessed to have a man as old school and as capable as Erwin. He loved him and would forever.

***************************************

When they returned to the house Levi pulled out his pots and pans to start cooking a late dinner for everyone. Jean came down stairs to meet them with two large squares. Eren squinted leaning on the counter top by Levi, “What are those huge things?” Jean smiled, “Master pieces.” Levi turned down the burners and popped a few pans in the oven. “Ours?” Eren turned to look at Levi and then back to Jean, “We’re you painting for Levi? What is it!” Eren was jumping excitedly next to Levi. Jean smiled again as Marco took the other covered painting from him. “Where is Erwin and Armin?” Erwin popped up from the wine cellar as Armin came down stairs dressed in comfortable lounge clothes, “Here! Oh! Are they done!?” Erwin bounded over towards Jean like a child at Christmas, “Let’s see them!” 

Jean cleared his throat, “The first is Levi’s and I’m sorry that it’s….a little creepy?” He revealed a picture of Eren’s face and shoulders laying on the soft white silk sheets of a bed. The lighting was soft dimming around the corners. It was photo realistic, the small texture of Eren’s shirt could be seen and its faded olive green played into the over color palette of pale crèmes, browns, and greens. His lips soft and pink and lashes long casting minute shadows on his cheek. He was serene, reverent, angelic, and breathtakingly gorgeous. It was as if he was lying in a monastery bed, a young precious up-and-coming saint. In truth the intricate golden embroidered trim around the collar that draped over his clavicles as the fabric parted down the middle revealing his smooth tan skin and a heavy silver chain with a key on the end encrusted with rubies, sapphires, and emeralds made him look like a Turkish prince sleeping away in a castle far from harm. Levi examined the painting closely, his eyes wide and pleased as he stepped back taking the painting from Jean, “Thank you, Jean. This is perfect and just what I wanted.” Eren gawked at his own face, “It’s me but it’s not me. My mother’s key, Jean, that’s amazing. I could never look this amazing.” Levi tch’ed, “You look like this every morning to me, brat. Stop being a little shit.” Eren blushed but before they could continue Jean was taking the sheet of the other one off.

Armin gasped as the sheet was removed and Erwin dropped his bottle of wine on the floor, luckily it merely rolled and did not break. But, it didn’t matter because before them was a shocking sight. Where Eren’s painting had shown the inner depth of innocence he possessed with an almost religious virginity to it Armin’s showed a resilience of spirit that was fierce and provocative. Armin was the centerpiece of the painting from the hips up. He wore an all white uniform stained red. His chin was raised, striking blue eyes hooded as he stared down the audience with blood dripping down his face from around his crown. The golden strands of hair fell heavily around his face as if sweat soaked and their own texture a marvel and testament to Jean’s God given talent. The background was inky, murky. From the shapes one could make out the rough shadowy trenches, broken metal bobbed wire fences collapsed in areas, the sky as black as death itself and there was this sense of revolution, perseverance, gun powder, phosphorus fire, and shrapnel rust that exuded an over-all sense of “life” that made something primal resonate in the very core of man, as if the Id itself were speaking loudly and clearly: food, shelter, resistance, refusal. It called on those who would hear: _refuse to die and choose to live._

The room was silent for a long time as no one could bring themselves to break the trance the painting caused. Erwin moved forward taking it from Jean as Jean worried his lip. “Did I cross a line?” Armin shook his head, “No, but how did you make this?” Jean wiped his hands on his paint pants, “Between how you looked at the hospital and things I just associate with who you are…on the inside. Sayings like…“The dead are gone, people are hungry” and “I am become death, destroyer of worlds” and “an hour of life is still life” you know, things like that. You’re a very resilient, inspiring, and strong person.” Armin became teary eyed as he and Erwin studied the picture more closely. Marco took Jean’s hand, “You’re beyond amazing, babe.” He kissed him on the cheek. “Let’s sit down and get ready to eat. Afterwards, I’d like to catch up with you since you’ve been in your studio all weekend.” Marco bit playfully at his ear lobe causing Jean to blush. “Anything for you, Marco.” The two sat down while the others stared at their paintings and Levi returned to cooking.

After dinner Jean and Marco retired to the living room to watch bad horror movies and exchange lazy kisses. Levi and Eren joined them, settling down comfortably while Jean and Eren began talking about the plot holes. Armin pulled at Erwin’s arm, “Let’s go.” Erwin’s eyebrows rose, “Where?’ Armin shook his head, “Anywhere.” Erwin hesitated for only a second before grabbing his keys and coat, wrapping Armin in it snuggly as they left out to his car. He started the car and took off into the night.

After an hour of driving they pulled over at the top of a mountain to over look the nearby city and take in the landscape. Outside it was cold but they stood huddled together, Armin wrapped in Erwin’s coat still even after offering it to the man. “Erwin?” Erwin’s hand found his, “Yes?” Armin leaned into his side, “I’m not going anywhere and if you wanted to get married tonight I’d do it and we’d start looking at options for a family tomorrow.” Erwin looked down, “But, what if you knew about the ugly things I’d done?” The wind blew through the trees, a silent whistle. Armin’s voice was strong, sure, Have a pre-nup drawn up, I’ll sign.” Erwin’s grip tightened, “You didn’t answer my question.” His voice a thin whisper that met with the whistle of the trees and faded out over the landscape, Armin looked up to see Erwin’s face, “I’ll give you a secret for each one you give me.” That same game they began with, “How do I know the secrets will be comparable?” Erwin challenged, “Because I’ll give you the first one and it’ll be a biggie.” Erwin’s lips formed a thin line, his teeth clenched. He gambled, “Okay, only if they are comparable.” Armin’s eyes flickered, “First secret,” he paused making sure Erwin was listening, “Jeeter wasn’t the first person I killed.” Erwin gambled and he was surprised at the outcome.

  
Armin twisted next to him, “Your turn.”  
Erwin racked his brain, “I have no idea how I would even begin to count the people I’ve killed, maybe…over two or three thousand. Who did you kill, Armin?”  
“A guy who was dating Jean’s mother. Were you just following orders and that’s what is so bothersome about it?”  
”I have no idea. I mean, I was always killing because of someone else’s orders but, at one point I could have decided to just let them shoot me and I’d have saved thousands of lives….maybe….”  
”Or maybe not.”  
“Were you ever put on trial?”  
“No. No one ever found the body. Sometimes I get scared that I’ll go to jail and it angers me because I feel like I’m justified. Do you feel like you’re justified?”  
”Every time I look at Levi, for a few moments I do feel justified. I did what I did so that he and I could live. When I look at you I also feel like that but it’s different. It makes me sad.”  
”How does it make you sad?”  
“Because I don’t feel as guilty as I should when I look at you. I feel like this is what I deserve and I did what I did to get you, meet you, and ultimately get what I deserved, a nice life with my soul mate, a house full people, friends, Levi alive and happy and with me, and then I think…have I lost my humanity? How can I be happy that I’m alive? I’ve crawled on the backs of others that deserved just as much as I did to live.”  
“You can’t live in the past like that. I don’t fully understand your struggle because I’m not you. But, I know that when I’m threatened with drowning in my own issues I just try to take a step to the side. I focus on what I can control.”  
“Is that another secret?”  
“I guess so. It’s not healthy but when I self harmed it helped. I now resist the urges and instead focus on you or Eren or even Levi now. Eren knows the signs and one day you’ll know them too. I do have issues with eating still. I tend to exhibit unhealthy eating habits when fully upset. I’ve tried to replace that urge by distracting myself, making myself eat, or finding you and forcing my way into your arms where I feel like the world is a little less large and a little less scary.”  
”I’m a substitute.”  
”You’re a cure, Erwin.” Armin’s eyes cut him like a knife when he looked up at him. “Let me try to be yours.”

Erwin struggled to compose himself as he trembled, “I’m afraid.” Armin moved to walk back to the car calling over his shoulder, “I am too,” he stopped at the door hand on the handle, “but not about who you are, how you are, or what you’ve done. I’m afraid you’ll never forgive yourself or at least learn how to live with it. It’ll never go away but we can work together to move on and protect ourselves from ever being in situations like the ones we were in again.” Erwin turned to Armin, “You’re really serious about this. You’re willing to commit to me and to whatever else comes our way?” Armin’s eyes closed, “You’re going to tell me that you and Levi have to go back. I already figured as much.” Erwin smiled sadly, “You’re so smart baby. You’re so strong.” Armin slid into the car followed by Erwin, “We all have secrets, Erwin. We tell lies to protect them. Secrets are important but only if you know what role the secret plays in your life. Some secrets own you and some secrets you own. The secret of killing that man, that secret right there, owns me.” Erwin turned the heat on pulling back onto the road. He reached over taking Armin’s hand in his, “And there are secrets you own, right baby?” Armin nodded, “Many.” They drove along the dark road back towards Maria in comfortable silence.

********************************************

Levi hung the painting in his office before settling down to sorting things for the baby. He was pleasantly distracted while Eren showered and hung out with Jean and Marco downstairs safe from harm when Erwin walked into his office. He didn’t stop his chore, “You’ve been outside. In fact, you’ve been around gravel and I’d say over by the mountains.” Erwin walked to the futon where Levi was sitting leaning over sorting piles and assembling things he could later stick in the car and just bring to Hanji’s in the morning. Erwin sat down grabbing Levi and laying down, Levi snorted lying down with him, “Sentimental old man.” He continued holding up his list and a set of instructions for a car seat Eren had picked out that was covered with dinosaur themed accessories. “I’m going to try,” Erwin’s voice was low as it ghosted over the back of Levi’s neck, prickling the fine hairs, “to start telling Armin everything. I’m going to try and heal.” Levi squirmed against his strong arms, “I know, I know…you’ve been telling me to do that for years. I don’t know how you do the things you do, Levi.” His eyes stung, “I’m not any better off than you, Erwin. I should do the same. I just don’t want to lose him.” His jaw clenched as his skin flushed, he would not cry right now. He would not.

Erwin’s hand made its way through his hair, “Eren isn’t going anywhere. I’m going to need to go to Montgomery Wednesday to see Henri Goldburg. I want you to come. I’m going to spend a lot of money and I need you to be there to cringe. He’ll want to speak with you about the good old days in French.” Erwin’s deep chuckle echoed through Levi’s petite body. He let himself be lulled by the pleasureful caress of his fingers through his hair, a comforting gesture born out sleepless nights in pitch black. “We should tell our story one day.” Levi’s mumbled through sleep heavy lips, “Oh? Since when did you decide that?” Levi practically purred as Erwin worked over his sensitive spots, “Ringelbaum the historian of the Warsaw ghetto said “write and record.” You were to survive and write down what happened so that it could be remembered and never allowed to happen again. Nie wieder.” Both Erwin and Levi laid together in silence for a few more minutes as their hearts synced up like countless nights before. Levi’s mind quieted as he thought about the coming months and his journey to salvation. _Iron rain will scorch my lips like a Seraph’s kiss if I forget Jerusalem, golden in her bliss.._.

*********************

When Armin and Eren appeared in the door way both men were asleep. They finished assembling the last of the equipment and then covered their lovers in warm blankets and went out into the hall. Eren followed Armin to his room crawling in bed and snuggling up with one another for warmth. Eren nuzzled close to Armin, “Why did you leave?” Armin’s fingers danced over his skin, “I needed to talk to Erwin about things. I told him I was in it for ever and that I’d marry him tomorrow and start a family if he wanted. I love him, Eren. I never want to lose him but I’m scared that he’s hurting and not telling me.” Eren moved closer, “Levi is the same way. He asks things that worry me about where he is in his own head. I know you’ve noticed how he always puts me in the safest spot in the room. He has to check in every three hours and he won’t let anyone touch me. I don’t mind it because it doesn’t cross any lines with me and it’s coming from a place of love. I just hope one day he’ll open up and let me help him. Often, though, I feel like a hypocrite because …” Armin’s lips ghosted over his throat, “No, Eren, you’re dealing with things as best as you can. That’s all we can do, be good to one another and be good to others. We just need to give them time and love.” They cuddled closer till sleep took them. 

************************

In the early morning Eren felt the soft caress of Levi’s fingers on his cheek smoothing his hair out of his face. He feigned sleep longer so that Levi would not leave. “Eren,” he loved how Levi said his name, he lived for it, drank it in like refreshing water, “wake up, ahuvi, we need to go to Hanji’s.” _Ahuvi_ “my love,” he called him that when he thought he was asleep and wouldn’t remember. It made Eren’s heart seize with happiness. “Ahuvi, come.” Eren rolled over pulling Levi down and kissing him passionately, “Call me that every day for the rest of our lives.” Armin stirred in his sleep as Erwin crawled in behind him and wrapped him in his arms. “Baby, did you sleep well?” Armin burrowed into the covers as Levi chuckled at the sigh. “Get in, Levi. Just for a while.” Eren whined pulling at his shirt and successfully pulling him in to the bed. “Fine, brat.” Eren pulled him close, “say it.” Levi’s lips covered his with “Ahuvi.”

***************************

”OHHHHH LEVI WHAT A SURPRISE!” Hanji exclaimed signing feverishly as he approached, “I’m all good now, Hanji.” They smiled, “Oh, Levi!” Levi embraced them, holding on to them for a long time while Eren stood behind them smiling. Levi Kissed Hanji before they walked inside the small trailer they’d rented for the past year. “Did Erwin call you?” Hanji pondered for a moment, “Um no maybe Mike?” Sure enough Mike was on the phone talking excitedly with Erwin. He was recently released but in a wheel chair that they’d been having trouble with in the trailer due to space and the stairs. Mike was finishing his conversation as Hanji asked them to sit down in the slightly messy home of theirs.

Levi cringed, “It’s _filthy_ , Hanji.” As if proving his point he pull papers off of his boots, “Did you notice the U-Haul?” Hanji shook their head, “We’re here to pack your shit up, move it and baby proof your new house. This place is paid off for the rest of the year and you won’t have rent at the new house and you’ll have land and it’ll be closer to work with a ramp for Mike till he heals.” Mike entered the room rolling with some difficulty, “We can’t let y’all do this, Levi.” Hanji’s eyes watered, “Honestly, that’s too much.” Levi took Hanji’s hand, “Han, I’ll do everything I can for you and Mike and your baby.” Hanji cried as Levi got to work cleaning and moving things for Eren and he to transport.

It took about two hours but they didn’t have a lot of things. They were used to living lightly in the small space and having traveled a lot on their own made them live without too much clutter. When they pulled up to the white three story craftsman style house Hanji gasped, “Erwin wants us to live in his father’s house?” Mike hummed, “No one was in it and he doesn’t want to rent it to people. He wants it to be a home and treated as such so he wants us to be in it till we get settled.” Mike seemed to be in utter bliss at the situation as Eren looked at him. “I love this house, Eren. It’s beautiful and I’d be lying if when I was a little boy playing hide and seek with Erwin that I didn’t want to live here forever.” Eren smiled as they parked next to Erwin and Armin who were ready for moving.

Once the house was cleaned, moved in to, and baby proofed Levi hung his mop up in the small hall closet to dry as Hanji hugged him from behind, their belly now more prominent and pushing into his back. Levi turned around, “Can I touch you?” Hanji nodded, his hands moved to glide over their belly. “What is the sex?” Hanji shrugged, “I don’t know, don’t want to know, actually. Mike doesn’t either. I know what you’d want.” They smiled as Levi’s eyes crinkled, “Shut up, shitty glasses. You’ll upset the baby with that voice of yours.” The baby moved, “They like you, Levi.” Levi’s face was priceless. Hanji wanted to remember it forever. They couldn’t imagine how he would react to his own, “I wanted to talk to you about something, Levi. This pregnant life got me thinking. What if you and Eren could have a baby that was both of yours and not through another person? What if they genetically came from both of you?” Levi’s eyes closed, “You know I want to have one with him. Are you telling me that making a germ cell from Eren is possible?” Hanji’s eyes shimmered with glee, “Maaaaaaaybe. I could try it with Armin and Marco as well. Marco should be the control for Eren but Armin would be the key to understanding if this would be possible with those of general populace. You’d still need a host womb so I’m still up for grabs once this one leaves but…perhaps creating an artificial womb might be possible…it sure would speed the process up for us and allow us a unique insight into the process, the neonatal care, and your children wouldn’t be living in people you didn’t know. We could have multiple pregnancies at the same time for comparisons.” Hanji lost themselves among the possibilities. 

Levi smiled despite himself, “Shitty glasses, you’re getting way ahead of yourself.” Hanji reached out to take his hand, “Not really. I’ve been looking for another project to ask for grant money for. This would really help a lot of people but of course,” they leaned down smirking, “only if my most beloved friend and colleague would partner with me.” Hanji gave Levi a sultry gaze, their hair loosely falling around their shoulders without goggles on their forehead. They had a glow to them and look beautiful. Levi had always had such a soft spot for them. His cheeks blushed, “Glad to see I can still make you blush.” Levi hit them, “Shut up. You just wish I’d fuck you against a wall and talk about how filthy you are.” Levi laughed as Hanji opened the door, “Oh those were the days. Mike does just fine, though don’t worry. He doesn’t talk about the mess because he’s just as bad or rather we’re normal and you’re not.” Eren was going over plans with Mike and talking about animals and their needs when they came in the room. He had a black stuffed German Sheppard in the crook of his arm, “Oh that looks just like Donner.” Hanji exclaimed, “Yeah, I thought that’d be cute to get them one since they’ll play with the real things as they get older.” Eren smiled fully warming making Levi’s chest tighten, _so magnificent._

Erwin and Armin were touring the house. Most of the rooms had antiques left in them so Hanji and Mike wouldn’t have to furnish them. Armin enjoyed the stories and Erwin smiled a lot. “I couldn’t imagine a better family living here. I’d always had mixed feelings about raising my own here, too many ghosts, but this,” he made a grand sweep of the house full of Mike and Hanji’s furniture, “this is really heartwarming.” Erwin leaned down to pick Armin up making him squeak. Wrapping his legs around Erwin’s strong waist he was granted kiss after sweet kiss. “What’s the big deal, daddy?” Armin giggled, “I’m going to make you happy if it’s the last thing I do, my sweet baby.” Erwin continued to pepper Armin’s face with kisses, “Ha! I should have more talks with you if this is how it ends up. Seriously, you always make me happy, daddy. You don’t have to try so hard. Erwin’s lips quirked up, “Whatever you want, Armin.” His voice a whisper as he promised, “Whatever you desire, speak and it shall be yours. I swear to you.” Armin blushed, “Honest?” Erwin carried them down the hall, “Honest.” Armin’s eyes narrowed and his smile turned impish, “I want ice cream.” Erwin burst into laughter, “Then you shall have ice cream.” They joined the others as they finished putting the final touches on and Levi stocked their fridge with pre-made meals much to Mike’s glee and Hanji’s amusement.

On their way home Levi and Eren stopped to grab dinner at a small hole in the wall café where they could sit close to one another and talk. Levi smoothed Eren’s hair back, “Do you know how to shoot?” Eren ate a few bites of his stew, “Yeah.” Levi continued to stroke his hair, “Well?” Eren sat back turning to face Levi in his chair, “Yeah.” The reply was breathy and soft and made Levi feel better. “I have to go run some errands with Erwin tomorrow so I won’t be home till really late. Are you going to Montgomery to check on that family friend?” Eren bristled, “Yeah, I missed last week and I know he’s gunna give me an ear full.” Levi smirked, “What’s his name?” Eren hesitated, “Hannes. I call him Mr. Hannes. He’s 84 now and it’s insane how well he does for himself. He needs help but I hope when we’re that old we’re getting around as well as he does.” Levi snorted, “When your 84 I’ll be 91, you know. I may not make it that far.” Eren stiffened next to him and Levi mentally kicked himself for saying such a negative thing. He watched as Eren went through various emotions until he met him, “No, you’ll be fine. Evil never dies.” Levi couldn’t help but laugh loudly, full body shaking, and teeth displayed for all to see. Eren soaked it in, pleased beyond belief he was the reason he was laughing like that, “Ani ohev otcha, Eren. Ani ohev otcha, ahuvi. (I love you, Eren. I love you, my love.)” They shared a brief kiss standing up and pulling on their clothes. The night was beginning and tomorrow would be another big day for them all.


	27. Mila Pamellah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning for violence/killing
> 
> Erwin and Levi take a big step.  
> Hanji and Mike are the target of a crime.  
> Armin and Eren go hunting.  
> 

The bell on the door chimed as Erwin and Levi walked inside the small but luxurious red brick 1950s jewelry shop with its white walls and gold tin ceiling. An older man appeared, “Erwin!” His round baritone voice echoed on the restored cherry hardwood floors, “Today is the big day! Would you like champagne? OH Levi! Bonjour!” Levi nodded, “Bonjour Monsieur Goldburg. Ca va?” They exchanged a small pleasant conversation until Mr. Goldburg asked Erwin if he’d be paying on his black card or should he expect to suddenly become flush with cash? Erwin chuckled, “Yes, I’m here to drop some serious money and get everything done today. Here is a ring he wears most of the time and its fits well enough to go off of till we can bring it in to be resized properly.” Levi’s eyebrows rose, “You’re buying and engagement ring?” Erwin had not discussed that with Levi. He wasn’t opposed, just mildly surprised. Both men had been increasingly including both boys in their future plans and in truth, Levi had been on the receiving end of many of Erwin’s lectures on opening up and investing in others, of which Erwin had a hard time in doing as well but was able to fake it much better than Levi, and in these lectures Armin would inevitably come up and the focus would shift to how perfect Armin was to Erwin and for Erwin and how Eren simply “completed Levi in ways that Erwin was both jealous of and extremely delighted by.”. 

Erwin smiled, “I am.” Levi took a glass of wine as they sat down to look at a selection Mr. Goldburg had already pulled, “You said traditional engagement style was a good way to go. You wanted an actual ring which I commend you because why should the ladies have all the fun with their bright stones and playfully expressive designs? You said he had dainty fingers and that you both like art deco so here I have some rings of art deco style for you to pick one from them.” Levi sat back, arm behind the couch around Erwin and his legs crossed.

Mr. Goldburg looked over his silver wire glasses, his short grey hair curly and thick even at his age, “I can pull out some for you too, Levi.” Erwin’s heart skipped a beat as he, too, drank from his glass. He eyed Levi from the side watching as his face betrayed nothing. After a few moments, Levi merely nodded and Mr. Goldburg started towards the back to grab some samples. “Take a look and decide what direction you’d like to go in and after we get Mr. Warbucks settled we’ll start with you. Such lucky lovers you two have to be getting stones such as these and of course the gift of love.” He smiled, his eyes shut as Levi started sorting, “Tch…lucky and expensive brats is more like it.” Erwin clapped his hand on his shoulder, “I’m excited to be doing this with you, Levi. I’m glad we’ve made it to this point. Today starts the first day in our journey to living completely honest, no more lies, with the people we love and on the verge of solving all of our problems.” Levi pinched the ring between his fingers inspecting the rose gold and black diamonds. His lip trembled, _But, I’m not being honest with you, Erwin. Will you ever forgive me when you find out how deep my lies run?_ Levi’s stomach churned.

**********************  
Eren parked on the street, nearly falling on the road as he tried to quickly get out of the car. He’d missed last week and he knew what that would look like to him. He ran down the sidewalk rounding the corner of the old apartment buildings with shops on the bottom as horns blared and pedestrians wandered aimlessly towards any place that was open with food after the 9-5 draining shift of the day. He made it to the door of the building ringing the buzzer to be let up. “Mr. Jaeger, shalom.” Eren turned, “Rabbi, I’m so sorry but I lost your number, I didn’t mean to not call.” His eyes stung with tears, “Please forgive me.” Rabbi Berkovich was a very attractive man of 34. He had dark blue eyes like the freshest blueberries of the spring harvest. His pale skin dusted with freckles and neat dark Auburn hair and side curls immaculate. Dressed in typical orthodox dress he stood out against Eren’s appearance in faded jeans, oversized grey sweater with blue and white plaid scarf wrapped tightly around his neck and brown work boots.

The Rabbi smiled, “It’s fine, Eren. I know how serious you are. I’m orthodox but I consider myself a more modern man in many ways.” He had a very nice musical laugh. Eren heard the door buzz but sometimes it stuck, both men moved to open the still locked gate but in the process Eren shouldered the man knocking his books on the ground. Eren and Rabbi Berkovich both leaned down bumping heads and, much to Eren’s horror, lips. When they pulled back the Rabbi wiped his mouth slightly adjusting his messenger bag. Eren blushed hard as Berkovich laughed at his embarrassment. "Erenush a kiss is just a kiss unless you make it something else." He grabbed his face planting another chaste one as Eren relaxed, "I kiss you like a brother, like a son, like HaShem would. Come, let's ring the bell again and see if the gate will open." As Eren turned to towards the door, it was only to slam into someone shorter and more solid than he was, "What the fuck is going on, Eren?" Eren's body was hot, extremely hot, He thought back to what had just happened, the fact that he was now caught in an even worse position, and now he’d have to come clean after months of hiding. "Levi! It's not....What did you!....why?...." Levi's eyes narrowed as his neck became red, "You get caught kissing someone, twice, and then you have the nerve to ask me questions?" Eren's mind simply stopped working and the next thing he knew everything went black. 

He felt pain, horrible pain in the back of his head, "He's coming out of it. Erenush, can you speak?" Rabbi Berkovich was leaning over him with Levi, "umm oooow" his head really hurt. "At least you have a thick skull. You went down fast." Levi didn't sound angry, "I wasn't cheating. I would never cheat on you. I love you." His words ran together as he started to panic, "Eren, its okay. I'm sorry.” Levi’s eyes were still hard but his shoulders not as tense. He mumbled, “I saw it from a bad angle. Unless, you've decided I wasn't Jew enough for you and you really are courting a Rabbi." Berkovich laughed loudly at Levi’s serious accusation, "Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Johnathan Berkovich. I am Eren's teacher. I assume you're possibly involved with Eren?" Levi's eye twitched, "Has he never mentioned he was in a relationship?" Eren groaned, "Please, let's go inside and just let me explain. Let me explain before you both start assuming things and this gets more out of hand. Mr. Hannes will be a delight as well." They buzzed the room and Levi opened the door following on Eren's heels and visibly hurt thinking Eren had kept him a secret.

Mr. Hannes, an old blond German man with a good set of teeth and tan skin, opened the door, "Glad to see you finally drug your ass off the toilet. Did you take an extra long shit today?" Eren cringed but the other two men thought he was amusing. Levi was beyond excited to get to know this man after preparing himself for the worst. Shit jokes always went over well with him. Eren moved forward motioning to Levi, "Mr. Hannes, this is-" He gave him an exasperated look, "This is _THE_ Levi. I know, little shit. Let me get some tea." Eren moved, "No, no let me. I can do that now that I’m-" He held up a hand, "Stop. If he is here then obviously you messed up and he caught on so you need to explain everything. I'm old but I can boil water, Eren." Hannes disappeared into the small kitchen. Levi took a moment to admire the walls laden with photos and newspaper clippings and paintings. It was a very comforting old Europe vibe. 

Rabbi Berkovich led Levi into the small living room to sit. "Erenush?" Eren was fidgety, "I started considering converting to Judaism after learning more about it. At first it was just to be respectful of your beliefs, Levi. But, it really called to me and well,” Eren’s eyes were turning red from the sting of unshed tears, “I'll save that for later when we're alone because it'll be a long conversation.” He smiled shyly continuing, “I started looking at Reform Judaism like you practice now but I just wanted to know more and do more with this religion. And I spoke a lot about it with Mr. Hannes and he hooked me up with Rabbi Berkovich. I decided that if I was going to go through the process I'd go through the traditional pathways and channels. Not cutting corners and that meant asking myself, often, why was I really doing it?” He turned more to Rabbi Berkovich, “I didn't mention I was dating a Jew because I didn't want my sincerity to be doubted and I knew if I was just doing this for you you'd not accept it, the Rabbi would not accept it, AND there were so many easier ways to do it or never do it at all because you told me I didn’t have to convert.” He paused, overcome with emotion. His voice was rough and thick as he finished, “I want our life, our future, our children’s future to be like this. I want it to be rooted in this belief. I know I'm rambling but....what I have learned is being a Jew is hard and becoming one is even harder because I'll never really be accepted by either side and no one will ever truly trust or understand my motivations, my reasons for doing so. Rabbi Berkovich said that nobody would ever choose to be a Jew," Levi's mind went back to that night, his blood thickened in his veins as time slowed down, _"maybe I'll convert?...No one would want to be a Jew, Erwin," "except for those truly called and a convert is considered sweeter than the sweetest wine....or that's what was said before the pogroms increased and acceptance of converts meant death and repercussions." Eren finished bluntly pleasing Berkovich, regardless, with his knowledge._

Rabbi Berkovich clapped his hands together, "This is why it is so refreshing to work with such a sincere boy as you. I am truly in awe of the astute observations you make. Levi, I take it you're a practicing Jew and I must say you're an invaluable asset to him. Have you been helping him study?" Levi felt the world spin as he tried to take it all in, "No. He never asked for help. Not even under the guise of something else. I noticed that he seemed to have a plethora of knowledge but in all honesty I would just become so happy I didn't want to push it too far and jinx anything. In all honesty, I figured he was reading Wikipedia at his leisure and not doing his work in class." Berkovich smiled knowingly and nodded his head, "Well, no doubt you've had the largest influence on him.” He paused to smile coyly, “His sincere love and respect for you is evident. Just seeing how he's been looking at you while you've been here tells me so much more. I'm glad to know that Eren proceeded down this path alone, though. It makes his accomplishments all the more impressive. I think that with the rate this is going our little Erenush will soon be ready for the Mikvah and will lead a humble religious life that will honor HaShem truly. I am very happy to see two people in love doing such honorable things." Levi felt faint. Eren would be the death of him if continued to hurt his heart with so much love like this. Rabbi Berkovich and Eren moved to the dining to go over his studies while Levi sat contemplating all that he had just learned.

Mr. Hannes returned with tea and some donuts before sitting next to Levi with a thump. "You've met Grisha?" Levi nodded sipping his tea. "He's a well meaning bastard." Levi choked on his tea snorting. "I would certainly have to agree." Hannes smiled fondly, "He saved my family twice....failed the third time though. Knew his father from childhood and in a strange turn of events my wife had met Carla’s relatives on vacation in Turkey once and hit off well and were friends for years.” Hannes took a drink, “I love him but he would shit if he knew I was helping his son find a good orthodox Rabbi for conversion." Levi smiled, "He's mad enough he's dating a Jew." Hannes laughed ruffling Levi's hair. Levi smirked, smiling shyly at the warm familiar feeling he got from Mr. Hannes. He reminded him of his deceased uncle Kenny. "My wife was Jewish, survived Auschwitz and a number of other camps. I found her in the forest as a patrol officer washing in a stream." Levi's eye crinkled at the edges from the fond tone of Hannes’ voice, "Saw her bathing on the roof like David did, right?" Hannes nodded, "At least I wasn’t married.” He chuckled, “I spoke no Polish. Luckily, she was French-German and being German I was able to woo her fast and good." Levi was interested, "How were you on patrol? German soldiers were rounded up at hour zero?" Hannes drank his tea, "Because I wasn’t a German soldier. My family and I moved after WWI to America and became citizens. I grew up visiting Germany and spoke only German at home in an all German community. I was upset about the state of Germany after 37 and after Pearl Harbor I became a paratrooper. I loved my homeland but what's wrong is wrong. I am thankful in a small way because it's how I met my soul mate, my beautiful French-German Marlene Dietrich-esque wife." Levi took it all in, "But, you never converted?" Hannes was quiet, "I did a lot of bad things, saw things, liberated camps of starving Jews and others...” His eyes were focused on things far away, on the past. Levi knew the feeling, “I left God” Levi knew that feeling as well, “at Bergen-Belsen, Dachau, Auschwitz, and on the streets of St. Malo with snipers, my fellow German breather, my brothers in arms, the enemies or my enemies. I left pieces of my belief around Europe, discarded them like sand through my hands on the beaches of Normandy coming home. My faith dwindled to splinters and shattered shards of glass. I thought about it, after my first daughter was born, but my wife had enough faith for the both of us. For people like us, Levi, finding a partner that’s like that is important. We lead half lives. Half a life is all we have after the things we’ve done and seen. They’re just exploding with it and have enough for everyone but they choose to share it with us. They bring us out of the past and into the present." Levi was quiet as Hannes opened the newspaper on his end table. Both men relaxed as Eren and Berkovich's voices mingled in the small space. Levi watched as Eren practically radiated light from his seat.

After a few hours Eren said that they would be finishing up and leaving. Levi asked if he could come back, to which Hannes replied with a snort and roll of the eyes. Eren was glad things were comfortable now between them all and hoped they would stay that way. Levi took stock of the apartment once more before leaving. As they walked to their cars they held hands, Eren started to hum nothing in particular. When they parted they did so reluctantly. Levi called as soon as they left, turning on his blue tooth and driving back making no real conversation but merely enjoying feeling close to him until they reached Maria's city limits and pulled up to their home.

Once inside they said hello to Erwin and Armin who asked if they all wanted to spend a lazy night watching movies in their room. Eren changed into loose grey sweatpants as Levi stripped to his navy boxers and pulled on an oversized white cotton shirt. They crawled into Erwin and Armin's bed, wrapping up in large blankets and down comforters. Eren leaned his back against Levi's sturdy chest rubbing the strong arms that circled around him. Levi nibbled and kissed his neck marking him through the evening as Marco Polo played episode after episode and Armin and Erwin discussed fine details and made out. Levi didn't need to talk about anything right then, not when he and Erwin had rings in their pockets and his heart was beating the name Eren over and over in his chest.

***************************

  
_The sound of papers rustling,_ “What’s wrong?”  
_The room goes silent save for deep uneven breaths,_ “What? Nothing’s wrong.”  
“Something’s wrong.”  
“Nothing! I fucking swear nothing is wrong.”  
“Quick to anger…A sure sign something is really wrong.”  
“I’m tired.”  
“Why were you in my desk?”  
“I was looking for my passport.”  
“You were looking at my father’s emails. What’s wrong?”  
“Nothing.” _The drawer slides close with a thud,_ “I was just looking for my passport.”  
“Hmmm” _The deep hum feels the space. It buzzes like a sound grenade,_ “Funny thing is, it’s right in the safe where we keep all of our… _joint_ important documents.” _A passport is thrown on the table with a slap that stings like a whip,_ “I pulled it out for you just now. I know you’ll need it for your visa.”  
“I see.” _The silence stretches_ “I was looking for it here. I must have forgotten.”  
_A sigh,_ “Even after I threw the passport down you’re still sticking with that?”  
_The chair shifts,_ “I’m telling you that even after you’ve thrown that passport down _I was still_ looking for my passport.” _The chair moves. Bodies struggle briefly till one passes through the door frame, the sounds of bare feet on the cold floor echo until the front door slam. A loud exclamation of “fuck” can be heard throughout the house._

**************************  
**A few days later**  
**8:43 p.m.  
**

Levi’s phone rang, “Hanji?” Hanji’s voice was labored, “Come here.” They wheezed, “Come here and help me. I’m having contractions and it’s too soon, Levi. It’s too soon.” Levi could hear fighting in the back ground, yelling, and the sound of a shot gun. “Coming.” He jumped off the couch running to grab shoes, first aid kit, and his gun. Eren trailed behind him, “What happened?” Levi grabbed ammunition he moved into the foyer turning to see Erwin running down the hall with the others following, “Hanji is in labor; someone shot a gun in the background. Grab your gun and lets-“ Erwin cut him off, “It’s in my jacket, let’s go.” They moved out to Levi’s car, “Levi! Let me come and-“ Levi opened the door, “NO! If you don’t hear anything in an hour call the hospital first and then the police, have them go to Hanji and Mike’s.” They pulled out, tires screeching and rubber burning. 

Eren stood in the driveway as Armin contemplated the situation, “I have a bad feeling about this.” Jean and Marco were in the doorway, they agreed, “We’re going to go.” Eren looked at Armin, “You sure.” His eyes sparkled, he turned to the side looking at the porch blinds, his voice was darker and more mischievous than normal, “The hunt begins.” Armin grabbed their jackets and a few other things before heading back out. Armin stopped by Jean, “Jean, you know what to do.” Jean’s eyes narrowed, his body language shifted, “Make sure you make it count.” Armin smiled, “Oh, we will.” Marco worried his lip before taking Jean’s hand, “We’re a phone call away, just keep that in mind. We can get our hands dirty, if need be. Here,” he tossed Eren his switch blade, “its good luck.” 

***********************

Levi pulled up to the house, surveying quickly. The house wasn’t on fire or anything but the door was pitted with cut marks and there was the smell of recent gun fire. Levi moved out of the car keeping low to the ground as he approached the front door turning his back in case of sniper fire or someone coming out into view from the trees surrounding the house. Erwin had his spare key ready, opening the door quietly and letting them in to close it and lock it again. They listened for sounds of something or anything until Hanji cried out. 

Taking the stairs three at a time they came out on the second floor and spread out opening doors and closets always expecting and unfriendly attacker on the other side. They met back going to the third floor. Mike in his chair could only reach these floors if he used the vintage elevator. Erwin checked the lift but it wasn’t up. _Where is Mike?_

Levi opened one of the empty rooms finding Hanji in the corner and a gun in his face. “It’s me!” Mike lowered the shot gun. “There’s blood.” Mike’s voice was panicked. “They’re in the woods. We can’t take them out easily because of the trees. I think I counted 7.” Erwin went over to the window, “You took the lift up and then hit the button for it to go down didn’t you?” He scanned the woods in the meantime. “Yeah, thought it’d throw them off. They’d want to take out the cripple with the shot gun and maybe it’d keep them on the first floor for a while.” Erwin thought that was pretty smart. He also thought that being surrounded by possibly seven people was troublesome.

Levi was trying to soothe Hanji and prevent them from delivering the baby. At only 31 weeks they were one week short of the barely acceptable and critical 32 mark that increased the likelihood of preemie survival. He didn’t have anything he needed and he didn’t have much time to get Hanji to the hospital. He busied himself with trying to find out what was causing the bleeding or what had caused it, “Hanji, when did it start?” Hanji groaned in pain, “Kicked, I was thrown down and then kicked.” Levi felt his rage boil up and over, “By whom?” His voice was deadly, “Molbit. I don’t want to talk Levi. It hurts too much. I’m scared that I won’t be able to stop it and I’ll have the baby on this dirty floor. However will you be able to cope with that?.” Hanji seized up from another contraction, “Save my baby, Levi. I’m not the first priority.”

”Don’t you dare say shit like that. Shut up and relax till Erwin can get the situation under control.” Erwin snorted, “I’m so glad I am responsible for this. We need to call the police.” There was no service, “How?” Mike looked over, “They’ve jammed the signals, cut the lines, everything. Our cars had the brakes cut, watched’em do it before we got up here. Might do it to y’alls car as well.” He watched as a few figures ghosted across the lawn, shadows moving sinisterly onto the porch. 

Glass shattered downstairs as three figures stepped inside. Erwin made the decision to leave and ambush them on his own. He whispered, “keep the gun on the door. I’ll knock three sharp knocks if I need back in.” Erwin moved outside stalking down the hall, pistol ready and sure. His steps were light, eyes adjusting to the darkness and mind moving him along from memory alone. _What is your life worth?_ He shuddered when the needle scratched against the record player on the first floor, his mother’s voice filled the house. 

__

  
[Sempre libera](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnKuht1ST-I) degg´io  
folleggiare di gioia in gioia,  
vo´che scorra il viver mio  
pei sentieri del piacer.  
Nasca il giorno, o il giorno muoia,  
sempre lieta ne´ ritrovi,  
a diletti sempre nuovi  
dee volare il mio pensier  


Erwin passed an open bedroom and then the hall bath. Once he came into the main stairwell he looked over the railing down to see standing in the foyer a lone masked figure in all black. It looked up to him, 

  
_Amor? alpito_  
dell´universo intero,  
misterioso, altero,  
croce e delizia al cor.  


His blood boiled as the figure brought up a hand holding the vinyl record cover with his mother’s face on it, beautiful and striking was her profile.

  
  
Oh!  
Oh! Amore!  
Follie!  
Gioir! 

_Sempre libera degg´io, ecc..._  


The song ended and the figure bounded up the staircase as the next began. Erwin shot twice, missing as the figure dodged deftly. He was certainly dealing with a soldier of some years. Erwin ran down to the second floor, jumping down the bottom stair like a cat, barely missing a patch of water from an upturned vase at the foot of the last step. He moved deftly until he was hit from the side with blunt end of a knife. It burned as the pain spread through his face. They struggled slamming into the wall and grappling with one another till Erwin was able to pin them down and shoot them in the back of the head. The commotion made it more dangerous for him because now the other two would know where he was. He crawled into the bathroom on his hands and knees as the other quickly climbed the stairs.

He listened as he walked around the small hall, footsteps making a distinct thud. Levi would say, “he’s got an injury, right leg, round the back of the knee.” He hoped that he wouldn’t have to fight with him physically. He needed to secure the area and get Hanji out as quickly as possible. If only he could get it to where Levi could get them out and send help. Armin would call in an hour and they’d already burned up at least 25 minutes. 

He heard the person start up to the third floor and he had to get their attention. He climbed in the claw foot tub grabbing a soap dish and threw it around the corner of the wall the tub was on and out the door into the room across. It made a large racket as it bounced and slid on the floor. The figure left the stairs. He pressed himself against the wall of the shower, pulling the curtain around him. He would eventually check the bathroom and when he came around the corner Erwin would need to act fast of be shot, cut, or killed himself. He waited; listening for them to figure out it was soap dish. They took the bait and began a slow and cautious stalk towards the bathroom. 

He was definitely dealing with a more cautious person than the first one. They used a flash light to shine into the mirror at an angle. They were unable to use it to see where Erwin was due to the curtain but they knew it would blind anyone in there since the house was so dark. Erwin shut his eyes but enough light had flashed in. He couldn’t hear them and he waited, like a sitting duck, in the cool tiled bathroom waiting for whatever may come. His heart was loud in his chest, _ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum_

The curtain ripped back as the blade pierced threw slashing down and slicing across his chest through his coat. His arm flew out grabbing the intruder’s shoulder, knocking him back into the counter with the sink hitting him painfully above his tail bone. He cried out in pain and Erwin lunged like a wild cat towards him, pinning him down viciously and shooting him. Blood splattered on the counter and Erwin put him in the tub for easier clean up. Most would be upset at that action but in Erwin’s life, death was not something out of the ordinary and Levi would have done the same. 

He heard the last intruder leave outside as he came down. He stalked around the floor until he came to the broken living room window. Outside he saw something that confused him. In the same sort of dark oversized clothes was Armin, blond hair platinum in the light. He held a cell phone and turned to face Erwin, blue eyes magnificent lit by the back light the moon offered that night. He held a delicate finger up to his lips, _wait, stay quiet_ before pulling on one of the masks and the hood of the jacket completely obscuring his features before he typed on the phone.

A few tense moments went by as the ringing of other phones could be heard. Mike had counted seven. Erwin killed two; Armin must have killed one for those clothes, so when five figures joined him in the yard he felt panicked. It wasn’t out of the realm of possibility that Armin was involved in this, that he’d played Erwin, that he’d been played by the very person he loved and trusted was going to kill him.

_How ironic, I always thought Levi would have been the death of me._

He watched as another, sixth, figure joined them last and more slowly. They all spoke in Arabic. From the bits of conversation he gathered that Hanji had been the target and asked if they’d been secured or killed. Turning to Armin, they clearly saw him as the leader and the final say. Armin made a sign like a cut across his throat. They shrugged but didn’t seem too upset about it.

When they turned toward the last figure Erwin realized that something was off. They all took a step back as if they were unsure about the last person. _Armin…you’re diabolical…did you really…_ The click of the switchblade was heard through the silence and then the panic set in as shoulder’s tightened and knees bent for a sprint. The figure plunged with medical precision into the heart of the one closest to him. Blood sprayed as it found the throat of the other. Armin moved forward, jacket opening to reveal two axes the length of a forearm. He lunged forward, cutting down into the junction of shoulder and neck, slashing through air and flesh. Erwin was confused, disturbed, and thankful he could go get Hanji and help. 

He turned to go up the stairs, hitting the lift for it come up. After reaching the third floor door, he knocked three times before flinging it open. Unfortunately, it was to the site of Levi seconds away from delivering Hanji’s baby. The sound of sirens could be heard and when he looked into the yard Armin and Erwin were gone. He heard them coming up the stairs and when they appeared Levi already had the head out and was coaching Hanji through their pushes. Armin removed his mask and so did Eren, surprising Erwin as the other figure, but their focus was on Hanji. “Levi,” they gritted out loud and desperately whinny, “Levi save my baby.” They wept with their head against the floor, “I’m so fucking angry.” They whispered, “I’m so angry. I just wanted….so much…” Levi was cut off from everything; there was nothing but the tiny life emerging into the world and Hanji’s body, their body that had become a tool in grounding him and making Maria his home. Now, that was all being threatened. All he could do was pray, pray that they lived and their child, their sweet child who was to stand for Mike and Hanji Zacharias on judgment day, lived to do so. 

*****************  
Levi delivered Hanji’s baby in the house and held her all the way to the hospital alongside her mother who was hemorrhaging and despite it all was awake touching their child as the EMTs worked frantically to save them in awe of their spirit. Once they arrived Hanji was rushed to emergency surgery and was given, once again contrary to all medical estimates, a favorable outcome with full recovery. Levi waited for news on baby Zoe and for Erwin to show up and fill him in on why the hell Armin and Eren were there.

Mike and Erwin showed up, pale and worried. After Mike was told all the options and information he wheeled himself into the waiting room. The same doctor that did his surgery and the other doctor who did Eren and Marco’s appeared, “We figured that since you’re all always involved in something we’d give you the use of the chapel room we keep locked. You could talk in there and I’ll get you when you’re fiancé wakes fully and if I find out anything about your little girl.” The men entered the room to wait. 

Mike cleared his throat, “What are you going to name her?” Levi sighed, “What?” His brow furrowed, “ Hanji didn’t tell you?” Levi shook his head as Mike smiled, “That’s so like them. Well, we decided that if it was a boy we’d name him but Hanji was insistent that if we had a girl you should name her. They said it would be one of the greatest gifts you could ever give them and I agreed. Plus, I doubt you’d name her something horrible.” Mike smiled as Levi felt the world move below him, “You really want me to do that?” Mike nodded. “I…don’t know if I can…” Mike leaned back, “You held her first, saw her, and delivered her. It’s only right that you would name her. I would be honored, too. It’ll be a great story one day to tell her and sort of put a positive spin on all of this.” Levi nodded silently moving his hands against one another.

He took some time to think about her and then he spoke, “Mila” his voice was soft and the tears ran down his face as he wiped them away. “Mila Pamellah Zacharias.” Mike smiled, “Mila” he said the name in awe, turning it over in his mouth with a bright smile, “I love it. Why that?” Levi cried more, “She was a girl in my community in France. I fell in love with her green eyes and short curly dark hair. I wanted to marry her but I was a mamzer and there was no way her family would ever let me disgrace their line like that. Forbidden to me, she ended up marrying a man when she turned 15 and started having children. I visited her on leave once in Hungry, her husband moved back to their ancestral home to take over his father’s position as Rabbi. After my visit she died. A piece of me has always wanted to honor Mila Pfefferberg. Her name is too beautiful to not pass on.” Mike and Erwin gave pause after hearing the story. He’d never been so candid with Mike and he felt even more touched that he’d allow them to have the name he cherished so much. Erwin had never heard that Levi had wanted to marry a girl name Mila and couldn’t help but hope that maybe, the girl with the green eyes had sent him Eren in some twist of faith. Erwin wanted to know more but now was not the time to ask.

”Pamellah?” Mike asked excitedly, “What does Pamellah mean to you?” Levi smirked, “When I saw her I thought about how she was the sweetest thing. She was full of sweetness and that is what Pamela, though I would spell it Pamellah so that the “ah” sounds are emphasized and it isn’t pronounced like Pamela Anderson, means. _All-sweetness.”_ She is all sweetness and will hopefully bring you nothing but sweetness.” Levi lay back in the chair. “Erwin, where are Armin and Eren?” Erwin chewed his lip, “They…” his phone rang, “Hello? Um…okay I understand.” Erwin turned his phone off, “Levi, we need to go to the parking deck. Are you okay waiting here, Mike? Petra and Eld are on their way to sit with you and the doctors will bring them back when they get here.” Mike smiled softly, “As long as Hanji is gunna be good for now then I’ll be fine here till they arrive.” He turned to Erwin, “Wonder why they want you to go to the parking deck?” He gave Erwin a pointed look, “You two are basically dating miniature versions of yourself. I can only imagine what they’ve got.” Levi stood up, “I think they’re much more dangerous than we ever could be. Call me if something changes. We’ll be back in 10.”

**************************

Levi and Erwin approached Eren’s Porsche noting that they were in an area without cameras and more than enough convenient blind spots to make sure they went unnoticed. The car was backed in to the space against the cinderblock wall. Armin was leaning against the driver’s side door, his eyes closed and face tired. He’d been looking older and more mature these last few weeks in Erwin and Levi’s opinion. He’d also had a slight growth spurt, as well as Eren, with his shoulder’s broadening and legs becoming shapelier. His body stayed all lean muscle and sinew but Erwin couldn’t help but find him even more attractive than the first day he saw him. Armin’s head rolled towards them as they approached, his voice high and playful, “Daddy.” His sweet smile coy and delicious.

Erwin and Levi stopped, “What did you have to show us?” Both Levi and Erwin really just wanted to have them explain everything. Why had they come? Why had they chosen to do what they did? There were so many questions, as there always were with dealing with Armin and Eren. Armin pushed off and nicked his head towards the back of the Porsche. Eren smiled at Levi before opening the back and lifting it up. It was empty and Erwin and Levi were more than a littler perplexed. Eren moved to run his hand on the floor finding the seam and lifting the carpet back to reveal the area meant for a spare tire and extra storage. He hit the button unlocking it and opening the space. Levi’s eyebrow rose, “Well,” Erwin chuckled darkly beside him, “that’s interesting.”


	28. Molbit and Diamonds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning for violence, some torture, and graphic sex. 
> 
> Inspired by the recent wave of terrorism, Erwin and Levi speak a little about their personal opinions. 
> 
> For anyone living in, affected by, or touched by the acts of terror in France, Beirut, Israel, Kenya, Baghdad, Russia, and the threat of natural disasters in Japan, my thoughts are with you, your loved ones, and for those who have been lost. 
> 
> Terrorism is never justified.

Levi and Erwin sent Armin and Eren back to the house. They needed to check back in before they followed. Hanji was awake and when he entered the room they smiled at him. “Shorty, you’re a life saver. How pretty is she?” Levi couldn’t help but smile, “She’s beautiful. Just like her mother.” Erwin laughed, “I think her father is pretty beautiful, if I don’t say so myself.” Mike snorted, “Thanks. I was feelin’ left out. She smells great too.” Levi took Hanji’s hand. “We’re about to go back to the house. We’ve got some business to take care of.” Hanji’s face faltered. “Okay, I understand. But, stay for at least a few more minutes because she’s going to be brought in and we might get to hold her.” Hanji’s voice was hoarse but it soared with a happiness he’d never heard and he was released, released from the tension he’d been feeling since Mila landed in his hands. Levi’s knees buckled, “Lee!” Erwin came to the side of the bed putting a chair under him, “you’re getting too upset. It’s going to be okay.”

Hanji stroked his hand, “I thought…I thought she was going to die or you would die or both. I’m sorry. I’m just so relived. Never get hurt again, Hanji. Never do that to me again.” Hanji smiled, “I’m sorry but I’m so glad that it was you.” After they rolled baby Zoe in Hanji asked Levi to name her. He told her Mike had already asked and he’d decided that Mila Pamellah would be perfect. Hanji cried tears of joy. She held little Mila, so small and attached to tubes and wires bigger than she was because of the state of her lungs. They said she was a fighter. She would still be at risk for complications but with a little time and a lot of love everything might be fine. 

Mike held her and promised her everything under the sun, a pony, to clean his gun when she brought a boy home, to walk her down the aisle one day. He was completely devoted to her every future whim and it’d only been an hour since she was born. When he handed her to Levi it was in slow motion. Levi kissed her tiny fist and fingers as she squirmed. “She knows you got her out of that inhospitable womb. She’s tellin’ you all about it.” Mike laughed as Hanji joined him. Erwin took pictures with his phone. “Mila, Mila Pamellah, my sweetness. Be strong, be kind, and never let anyone make you settle for things you don’t want.” He whispered as her fingers curled around his. He was just as bad off as Mike. He wanted this. He wanted to hold his child one day and he wanted it to be his and Eren’s. _If I live to see that day…_

After passing her to Erwin, Petra and Eld asked about what happened. Hanji turned to look at Levi. Something about their body language and the look in their eyes told Levi he needed to pay attention and not ask too many questions. “Well,” Hanji began,”I found out that Molbit wasn’t doing right by us. He had started taking things form the lab, his behavior made me think he was abusing drugs, and some of the data we needed was tampered with and I couldn’t work with him anymore. I fired him, tried to reason with him that it wasn’t personal and he let it go. Or so I thought.” Hanji paused, “We went out for lunch that day and he asked if I was pregnant and I said yes. I had started letting my bump show a lot more because hiding it isn’t worth the time. I like parking in the expectant mother space on rainy days, too.” Petra laughed shortly as Eld snorted, “But when he saw my ring, that’s when things turned ugly. He started telling me I couldn’t marry Mike, talked all sorts of shit about him. I was confused and a little upset the more he went on and finally he asked me if I’d considered giving up the baby and leaving Mike and I got upset and left. He said a lot of strange things about my devotion to work being compromised. I’d had enough.” Hanji took a drink of their water and Mike cleared his throat.

”When Hanji got home I was wiped out from physical therapy. They took a shower and I sat in the bathroom while they told me they let Molbit go and what happened at lunch. At about eight that evening after we’d had dinner, thanks Levi for the array of pre-made food you keep leaving when we’re not at home,” Petra smiled fondly, “That sounds like a dream.” Mike nodded, “It is. Hanji can eat everything he makes. Other stuff made them sick all the time. Anyway, around 8:00 Molbit shows up and I opened the door. He looked horrible and said he’d come to apologize to Hanji. I let him in, reluctantly, and went back into the dining room where I’d laid my silo plans out.” Mike’s neck turned red, “He started, I don’t even know, started talking crazy. Crazy shit about them leaving the country to work and they could bring the baby. He’d help _her_ with the baby. I was pissed. He kept mislabeling them and the only person that ever uses female pronouns was their OBGYN and Hanji personally told them it was okay. And then he admits to looking in _her_ file from the OBGYN and questioned if possibly the baby…wasn’t **mine.** ” Hanji touched his arm, “I asked him to leave and he got violent.”

”When Mike came in the room he started telling him that I was coming with him and Mike better not try to stop him. Mike got so mad he stood up and started to fight with him. I knew that was hurting Mike’s recovery so I grabbed Molbit’s arm and it all escalated so quickly. The next thing I know he’s enraged. He’s yelling about how he loves me and wants to be with me. When I told him I didn’t feel that way he threw me down and started kicking me..” Hanji looked at Levi and he knew there was so much more to this story than they were being told. He had Mila again in his arms. Unable to move since she was attached to the machine and bed, Levi held her protectively. She’d been through a lot while inside of her mother and he was sad that he was the reason her home had become so hurtful.

“Actually, I know how rude this sounds but could Levi and I be left alone? After I talk to him then I’ll let y’all back in and Erwin and Levi can take care of what’s going on with Armin and Eren.” They all moved, making side glances at the two until the room was empty and the door closed. “What happened, really, Hanji?” Hanji sighed, “He called me a Jewish whore. Asked if the baby was yours, he was…trying to get me to join a sleeper cell, Levi. I’m in a bad place right now. Mike is too. We’re in between a rock and a hard place with our two best friends. Mike will do whatever it takes to protect Erwin and I understand that because he’s my best friend, too. But, we’re…we’re special Levi, I have more loyalty to you and your secrets.” Hanji closed their eyes as Levi held his breath. “I don’t understand.” Hanji’s head rolled to the side on the pillow to look at him. Their lips a thin line and face grim, tired, “Your friends called me, Levi. Get it? Your friends called me and they want me to work with them.”

Levi seized up; hot waves of dread overtook him. He slid Mila back into her incubator. His world was crumbling, “It’s not what you think. It’s different now.” Hanji closed her eyes, jaw clenched, “Did you ever love him? Do you love Erwin, now? Are you his friend?” Levi turned, stomach rolling, and doubled over in emotion, “YES, yes, yes, yes, yes I love him and I am and that’s why it’s not like what you think. I would never hurt him. I never wanted… I was supposed to be close to him but I didn’t want to be at first. I wanted to hate him but the more I got to know him the more I realized that I loved Erwin Smith, that spoiled rich asshole, and I couldn’t just get what I needed and leave. When we were taken hostage…” Hanji’s eyes widened, “When you were what?” Levi sobbed, “That’s where we were for eight months.” He sobbed and sobbed, “We were held hostage, Hanji. We weren’t just busy, we weren’t on missions where we couldn’t Skype due to security reasons, we were fighting for our lives in a cell, in the desert, in pits of bodies, and that’s why we can never be apart. Because he is my best friend, my confidant, and he saved my life. I have to do this, it’s what I was asked to do but I am not going to **_hurt_** Erwin Smith. I am going to **_help_** him. What did they ask of you?”

"They want me to help you. They want me to work with them and help you with the serum and of course, with finding him. I just want to know.....when did they contact you? How did they get a poor gangster from New York to end up in the same basic as a rich boy from the south?" Levi frowned, "Kenny knew a few guys. When they learned I was going into basic they checked and it just so happened it was with a guy named Erwin Smith. Fate is a funny thing, Hanji. They wanted me to get close to him and report with information but like I said, I never really wanted to do it and after I became close with him we worked out another arrangement.”

“Erwin didn't have the information they thought he did. In fact, he was so clean and innocent it made me hate it all the more. I considered killing him. It would have been for his own good. When we were taken hostage we became high priority but they couldn't just pool all their resources into finding two Americans when there were civilians captured. Also they couldn’t possibly negotiate with terrorists, what would the world say? I found the opportunity to escape and we did. They picked us up. Erwin met them. However, my involvement stayed top secret. I was given different orders.” 

“We moved back to the states and you know, it was three months of shit till we reunited. I was miserable without him, like I had lost the other half of my body. He must have been bad off, too. None of you talk about it. I’d hoped I could shuck my orders and get away from Erwin Smith but that wasn’t what he wanted and that’s not what my soul wanted either. We sued the contractors after Erwin built a good enough case. In doing so, Erwin thought we were just righting a wrong but I was letting them use our case as a way to data mine our mutual enemies. I agreed to give them access and was rewarded with a peaceful life for three years with Erwin Smith safe under my watchful eye and his file sealed away. Now, after everything that has happened they reopened our case because he's surfaced again and we're targets. I need to finish this serum, I need to destroy all evidence that Marco and Eren are involved, I need to kill him....because if he's taken out then half of the Palestinian terror dies with him and maybe we can make this world a little better for everyone, especially the innocent lives living in the area. It would also protect Erwin. I just want to protect Erwin from anymore harm and sadness." 

Hanji took it all in, mulling it over, "I agree. I'll help you do whatever it takes. But, you need to tell him, Levi. We all need to go in eyes wide open. He’s going to be hurt and scared that you’ve been…lying the entire time." Levi leaned over and down kissing Hanji, "You’re right." Hanji smiled, "I'm here for you and so is Eren. Tell him and Erwin and Armin. Tell your little family and I'll tell mine. We're going to be okay, uncle Levi." Hanji teased making Levi choke up more. “Shut up. I like her so much more than you, shit head.” He smiled and then became serious, “I promise you, she’ll want for nothing.”

Levi and Erwin walked to his car. Erwin chatted about anything and everything as he tended to do with Levi when they were alone. Levi couldn’t imagine how he was going to tell Erwin everything. He watched as he started to unlock the door and move to open the driver’s side door, “What do you think you’re going?” Erwin smirked, “Diving. I have the keys.” He jingled the keys in front of Levi, “Erwin” Levi’s voice was hesitant, “I love you.” Erwin leaned on the edge of the seat. All playfulness left his features, “I love you, too.” Erwin searched his face finding it flushed pink and upset. Levi was so different now than from when they first met. His cold façade dropped now when they were alone. 

Levi quickly moved forward, hands cupped the side of Erwin’s face, “Please… Please don’t leave me.” Levi surged forward, his lips covering Erwin’s and moving passionately, desperate. Erwin gripped his waist standing when he started sliding off the seat. Levi refused to be parted from him and he picked him up letting his legs wrap around him as they kissed. He knew something was wrong, knew something was going on other than what had happened in hospital. But, he wanted to ignore it and focus only on Levi whose lips were so soft and love so deep.

Back at the house Erwin and Levi headed to the new barn and stables where muffled screams were heard. Opening the two barn doors Marco and Jean were sitting on a hay bell drinking beer while Eren and Armin were quite sadistically torturing an enraged Molbit. “Does it hurt?” Eren snarled, “After the pain we felt this is nothing.” Armin had pulled off finger nails, “I like how you scream, Molbit.” Armin’s voice oozed satisfaction and sadism. He put the pliers down. Molbit was leaned over, face bloodied from a hit to the head. He was nude save for his underwear. As Levi approached he spat at his feet, “Get the fuck away from me you filthy piece of shit.” Levi’s eyes were hard as the anger boiled inside of him. 

”You can say whatever you want about me, hate me, try to kill me, I don’t give a shit” his monotone voice took on a much more sinister tone, “But you fucked up when you hurt Hanji, when you hurt their child.” Levi’s fists clenched, “Who are you in contact with?” Molbit laughed, “I’m not going through it again. I know you’ve been recording…you’re too cautious not to, Armin. I wanted to find someone like you to join us. I know a few guys who’d keep you well fucked and treat you like a God. You could play God, Armin, you could move up in the ranks. Let me go. Come join us.” Erwin’s angered flared at the words. He looked over and sure enough Armin had revealed a tape recorder from behind a barrel. Armin’s pale finger hit the button, _“Who do you work for?”Armin’s voice darker than he’d ever heard it asked from the small plastic recorder, “The Wall.” Molbit rasped out through the pain_. Armin turned to Levi, his face unreadable, “Do you know who The Wall is?” Levi felt his hate push past the threshold and back into old territories.

”Of course he does. He knows a lot more than you all think.” Eren’s eyes narrowed, “Why did you bring Jeeter down here?” Molbit shook, “He was an invaluable talent. He took risks. That’s why you’re the way you are now. He risked everything to use it on you and Jean…even if Marco was who really got the injection. He really fell hard for Jean and as we’ve seen, Jean’s pretty invaluable himself.” Molbit cackled as Jean stood up enraged, “Fuck you,. Fuck you, you son of a bitch. Kill him Armin. I’m done with his shit. You’re a Judas, nothing more than a Judas.” 

Armin moved forward squatting down to his level. His face calm and eyes curious. Levi’s skin became hotter as he watched him proceed with sadistic coolness, detached from the suffering yet he never lost himself. Armin was truly a lethal person. His voice was low, almost a purr. It would have been seductive if the situation was radically different, “Who is your contact in Gaza? We know that’s where the base is. I’m sure you’ve got cells in Syria, Egypt, England, France, Germany, and Turkey. I’ve been keeping up with you, Molbit. I’ve been watching.” Molbit’s eyes flickered between Armin and Levi. He started sweating more but said nothing. Armin stood up stretching his neck rolling his head side to side. The over sized black thermal shirt revealed part of his clavicle and a few inches of his shoulder. Purpling bruises on his alabaster skin, “I said,” his petite hand moved to Molbit’s shoulder, “Who is your contact?” He drew out the words softly letting them linger in the space between them. “Levi knows who my contact is.” Armin’s fingers squeezed hard on the pressure point paralyzing Molbit with pain. He screamed silently convulsing in the chair. His writhing went on as Jean drained his beer, golden eyes on fire with hate, “That’s not what I asked you. Answer my questions or I’ll start pulling off fingers again.” He released him. Levi took note that Armin had removed his left pinky and thumb. Molbit bit out, “Levi knows who my contact is…or at least his friends do.”

Levi went red, “Why did you attack Hanji? You couldn’t have seriously thought they’d leave the country to join a sleeper cell!?” Molbit wheezed as he sagged in the chair. He looked mournful, “I bet that kid is yours.” He said the words with a hiss of bitterness. “I love Hanji, I wanted her to come with me and help us. She’s so smart and so capable.” He inhaled before screaming, “I wanted that bastard, that mamzer, of yours to go away.” Levi turned red, “Armin how much is on that tape?” Armin gave him a knowing look, “About an hour of information.” Levi shook, “Have you asked all of your questions?” Armin nodded, “Yes. He’s yours, Levi.” 

Levi moved forward deftly and quickly dragging him and the chair along the cement floor. The wood screeched at he pulled him to the center, walking over to one of the stables and grabbing a rope they could use for lifting bales. Molbit begged, he cried out, pleaded with Levi. A man faced with death isn’t as proud as he’d like to think he’d be. Levi tied the rope around Molbit’s throat, roughly jerking his head back to meet his eyes. Between gritted teeth Levi growled out, “It’s not my baby but it doesn’t matter. You fucked up when you went after them.” He tied the rope tighter and walked over to the wall, “I hope HaShem destroys your soul. I hope you never see the resurrection. I’ll remove your neck bones and make a dice box out of them for what you’ve done and said,” hitting the button that would normally raise up bales but instead it raised Molbit off the floor choking him slowly and painful. Molbit twitched and Levi felt himself go back to Badschi when he killed without feeling, where he killed for no reason. The room was silent save for the choking sounds. After a good two minutes Molbit was still somehow still holding on and Levi was planning on drawing it out as long as possible. His eyes and persona were the very same as in _Bad City_. Then one lone gunshot cut through the death rattles, striking Molbit through the eye and putting him out of his hate filled life and misery.

Levi turned around to find Erwin’s face grim and somewhat disapproving. He looked down expecting him to have been the one who shot him but it wasn’t. Armin had done it. He put the gun back in Erwin’s coat pocket. “I think that was enough. We need to get rid of him and then review the tapes.” Levi looked to Eren whose face had the slight spray of blood on it. He looked like a young warrior. They disposed of the body, heading back as the night was turning into morning. Eren was quiet as he rode with Levi back to the house in the car. Erwin and Armin had taken their own car while Jean and Marco cleaned in the barn. Marco’s father had apparently taught him a lot of interesting skills. 

**********************  
Eren reached over to take Levi’s hand, “You lost yourself.” Levi stared out at the road as the thick trees were washed in pale white and blue. “Sometimes,” he took a deep breath, “I do that. I’m not right, Eren. Mentally…I’ve crossed a point of no return.” The road was bumpy and their waters bottles clicked slightly in the cup holders. Eren closed his eyes, “I have too.” They pulled up to the house first. Levi turned off the car. “Why did you come?” Eren opened his door, “Let’s talk inside.” They went upstairs to their room, Donner sniffing and whining at being left. Levi calmed him down while Eren entered the bathroom.

Eren appeared in the doorway nude, “Help me,” Levi looked at his body, muscles taunt and figure lean, he was perplexed, “With what?” Levi’s brow furrowed. “I’ve forgotten how to clean myself.” Eren winked and smiled at him. Once in the bathroom Eren stripped Levi of his clothes mouthing open kisses to his shoulders and neck. “I thought we were going to talk.” Levi mumbled entering into the shower, “We can talk but first I really want you to fuck me.” Eren’s hot breath ghosted across his jaw before his teeth nibbled on Levi’s ear lobe. His eyes rolled to the back of head at the Eren’s prowess when he pushed him roughly against the tile and grabbed his cock stroking it, “Fuck me, Levi. Fuck me and then we can talk about everything else.” Levi took control pushing off the tile while Eren fell to his knees, “Whatever you want, brat.”

**********************

In the shower, their hands lathered and moving against slick skin, Levi was almost able to forget everything. They rinsed off, Eren stretched and ready to go. They burned with passion, deep and divine and when they touched the silk sheets of their bed they burned hot and cold with flushed skin. Levi didn’t fuck Eren, he made love to him deeply, slowly, carefully, and tried to convey what he’d wanted to ever since he found out he was converting, ever since he found out he knew about Badschi, ever since he’d met him in the lab and his eyes had shimmered like the sea by Tel Aviv, the boy with a beautiful soul who loved his dog more than people and who could eat a village out of house and home. He made love to him sweet and soft and Eren opened up to him beautifully. He sang his name like the birds in the forest on hot summer days and he was just so completely consumed with him. He loved him. He loved Eren Jaeger mind, body, and soul.

After they finished they lay in the covers, blinds closed, TV on low while the fire burned despite it being spring. Levi liked the cold, keeping the air on in the room, and he liked to use the fire place year round, so did Eren. Levi didn’t know why, but he was overcome with the need to tell Eren. He wanted to tell him everything. “Eren, I…” Eren cut him off, “Why did he think the baby was yours?” Eren turned to face him. ”I...” Levi’s words died in his throat, “I think because Hanji and I used to sleep together that he thought, perhaps, we still were? I’m not really sure.” Eren gave him a quizzical look, “You and Hanji?” Levi smiled, “Shut up.” Eren smiled wider, “I didn’t know you…” Levi smirked, “I appreciate the beauty of the human body, Eren. I actually enjoy the genitalia most common among the fairer sex. Why do you think it drives me so insane when you dress like a woman? There is just something about them that is indescribable.”

Eren moved closer, “How long did y’all?” Levi thought about it, “Six months maybe.” Eren gasped, “That’s a long time! Why did y’all stop?” Levi hummed, “It started to become apparent that Mike had feelings for them and I decided to end it because I loved them but they deserved someone like Mike. They deserved someone who could commit to them completely. Mike truly loved them and now look.” Levi smiled brightly, “Engaged and just had the most beautiful little girl in the world.” Eren chuckled, “Till we have one, right?” Levi kissed Eren, “Right.” And like that, he decided to push it off just a bit longer.

*************************

In Erwin’s room things were a little different. Armin soaked in the tub as Erwin listened to the tape play over and over again. “He’s been lying to me for a long time.” Armin sank beneath the water emerging shortly after, “That’s what I think, too.” Erwin turned the tape on, _deep and labored breathing, a blood curdling scream, “The Wall will not fall…” more screaming, “He knows who he is that fucking piece of shit. He knows.” Shifting of metal, “Who knows?” A snicker, “Levi, Levi Ackermann….he’s not…he’s really not at all who you think he is.” Maniacal laughter, “What the fuck are you getting at you piece of shit?!” Eren yells as the crunch of bone can be heard, Molbit screams, “You came into our house, your group, and you tried to kill us. Why? Why did you do it?” Molbit laughs, coughing and gurgling, “Because Jemison wanted to take what was precious to Levi and destroy it. He didn’t protect Farlan. He can’t protect anyone….especially Erwin Smith. They’ll come for you, Eren and then Levi will lose everything.” Hysterical laughter and the sound of more bone popping and Eren’s muffled exclamations of hate._

”Why did you come to the house, baby?” Armin opened the drain in the tub, “Revenge.” Erwin looked over to see Armin reaching for the towel, “I wanted revenge for what he did that night. I killed Jeeter and I wanted to kill Molbit. Eren was the same; he just keeps it inside so he doesn’t get too upset. All it took was a nod and he was in the car with me.” Erwin watched as Armin dried off. He moved off the stool towards him grabbing Armin’s robe off the hook and wrapping him in it, “Your dangerous actions only make you more appealing to me.” Armin kissed him softly, “Mmmm,” he ground against Erwin. Erwin dried his hair with the towel, “What happened?”

“We showed up, Eren called Molbit’s number and foolishly he left the ringer on. We found him listening to the sound and running through the woods and hit him on the head. I stripped him of his clothes. I found another one and he approached me thinking I was Molbit. Eren took him out, slashed his throat. I had my axes in the harness and I hid them with the coat while Eren stripped his pockets and we put everything, including Molbit into the car. From there we found the house and I broke in with the other two to listen for you. I needed to know you were okay and I thought you could _possibly_ manage those two on your own.” His impish smile taunted Erwin, “Thank you for having such faith in me baby.” Armin kissed him, “When I knew you were okay that’s when I left. You saw the rest.” 

Erwin held Armin in his arms, I’m so lucky to have you, Armin.” He smiled kissing Armin’s temple. “I’m yours forever, daddy. I’ll do my best to protect you and not be helpless. I want to be an equal partner.” Erwin laughed, “Armin I have never once viewed you as weak or helpless. I love taking care of you and you know that but I don’t do it because you _need_ it. I’m the one who needs it. I want to take care of those I love and I love you the most.” Armin smiled trailing his hand down Erwin’s chest. “It’s going to be okay, Erwin.” He whispered, “I’m sure Levi has a reason for hiding whatever he is. Eren is keeping an eye on him and if something changes I know I’ll be able to get it out of Eren. We’re all in this together, okay?” Erwin nodded as Armin straddled his waist to get more comfortable. 

Erwin seized Armin up into his arms attacking him and kissing his neck and face all over. “Erwin” Armin giggled. “You’re mine, Armin?” Armin squirmed, “I’m all yours.” Erwin carried Armin into the room on his hip, “What are you doing?” Erwin hummed, “I’ve got something for you, my sweet.” Erwin laid Armin on the bed propped up by pillows as he went to the small safe under the bed. He’d bought far more than the ring at Mr. Goldburg’s shop for Armin. He’d be opening gifts for weeks. He opened the safe pulling out a box. The first important gift, “Open it, baby.” Armin opened the box revealing a Cartier lock bracelet in rose gold with diamonds. “Erwin! This is beautiful!” Armin gasped as Erwin pulled the bracelet out, taking the small screwdriver and unscrewing the bolts and then locking them back in place around Armin’s wrist. The rose gold complimented his skin nicely. “Now, you really are mine. It’ll take this screwdriver or bolt cutters to take that off. Are you sure you want this?” Armin nodded, “Of course. I love you, thank you. But this must have cost a fortune!” Armin kissed Erwin before leaning back and admiring the bracelet, “Does this mean our play will become more intense?” Erwin smirked, “Always sex with you.” He winked removing his shirt and pants.

He climbed into bed crawling over to Armin, “Yes, it does. I’ll also be a lot more openly possessive as well. I’ve done a good job holding back till now. If it’s something you don’t want then-“ Armin moved down look at Erwin in the eye, “I want it. If it ever got to be too much I’d just have to say so.” Erwin smiled nodding, “You wear the pants in this relationship for sure.” Erwin and Armin laid together in bed kissing and whispering sweet promises all while Levi’s secrets turned over in the their mind. Mysteries needed to be solved and they were going to solve them.

**************************

”What do you mean he has to come later?” Levi was driving to Montgomery with Eren just one week before they were supposed to leave. “He’s my research. Are you telling me that I’m expected to arrive for only three short months without anything to work on?” More muffled noise over the phone, “I….yeah, that’s what I thought.” Levi’s face was fully annoyed after he hung up, “Someone couldn’t pinch their shit off in time to book the tickets and they tried to cover their ass by saying you could just come in month. I swear, fucking shit heads.” Eren held Levi’s hand as they entered the city limits and traffic piled up, “I’m really excited but…I’m really sad too.” Levi stewed in annoyance. His eyes hard, mouth a grim line, and a look of utter contempt on his face, “No one can drive here.” Eren rubbed his hand as Donner whined in the back, “Did… you hear me?” Levi tch’ed, “You’re fucking sad. Why?” He grumbled out as they came to a standstill on the overpass. Eren bristled, “Aren’t you?” Levi chewed his lip, “Oh…oh…I get it. Yeah. I’m trying to not think about it. I get really sick when I have to leave Erwin.” Eren’s nose wrinkled, “What?” Levi chuckled, “You’re nose wrinkled up like Armin’s. I get sick, physically, when I have to leave Erwin for more than a few days. My anxiety goes up because I know that if and when I get upset he’ll not be there.” 

Eren sat back in his seat, “Huh…what if you had to leave me?” Levi drummed his fingers on the wheel, “I’d probably do the same or….damn Eren, I don’t think I could handle that. We’ve only been apart for….what?” Eren concentrated, “The week I was in the hospital but does that count?” Levi’s face became horrified making Eren laugh, “Oh HaShem…you look like you’re about to have a break down just thinking about it.” Levi turned to him, his face comical and voice a lot more carefree and expressive than normal, “I think I am!” He exclaimed, “Dear God, I don’t think I ever want to find out. It might be worse than when I leave Erwin.” Eren giggled, “Well then, you better put a ring on it.” Levi smiled, _If you only knew._ His phone rang and since it was Erwin he put it on Bluetooth. There was wreck backing them up and they’d be stuck for a while longer.

Erwin’s voice came over the speakers, “Levi, are you free tomorrow?” Levi tensed up, “Just so you know Eren is in the car and you’re on Bluetooth.” A pause, “Oh…well, uh…” Eren jumped, “What are you doing tomorrow, Erwin?” Levi cursed himself internally, “I’m sorry, Erwin.” Erwin sighed, “Well, this is actually a good thing. Eren, I’m going to your hometown tomorrow and wanted Levi to come with me as emotional support.” Eren chewed his lip, “Armin isn’t going?” Erwin shifted papers, “No, just Levi.” Eren squinted at the wreckage as they approached at a snail’s pace before stopping, “Then why are you going?” Erwin laughed nervously, “I’m asking Armin’s opa for his blessing. I’m going to ask Armin to marry me and if you would be willing to help me out I’d like to bounce some ideas off of you on how to propose.” Eren’s eyes widened so much Levi worried they’d pop out. Eren’s voice was quieter than normal and he sounded absolutely in awe, “I am so excited for this.”

Erwin laughed fully, “You sound so quiet, so unlike you! Do I have your blessing as well?” Eren squealed in delight, “OF COURSE YOU HAVE MY BLESSING! Have you told Jean too?” Erwin snorted, “He actually caught me pulling out the ring a few days ago. I’m really hoping he likes it. Jean said he would so that calmed me down. Have you any ideas on how he’d like to be proposed to?” Eren contemplated, “You know…Armin never thought he’d ever end up with anyone so he never day dreamed or anything about it. I do know he always found black and white Hollywood movies as romantic. He….Memorial day is coming up but…mmmm we won’t be here and I kind of want to be near when you ask him. I know, that’s really selfish but I do and I know he’d want to tell me in person and not over skype…” Eren paused, “I actually just had the perfect idea and it’s so you and Armin I could scream.” Erwin chuckled, “I’m scared to ask. What is it?” 

Traffic started moving, “We’re going to be in Paris and you’ll be in Normandy right?” Erwin hummed, “Yes?” Levi smiled as he passed seven cars to get off the shoulder freeing them from the hell of the overpass. Now they would battle the terrain of the city grid but anything was better than that overpass. “June 6th, here’s what I’m thinking….”

**************************

”Eren when is your meeting?” Eren finished stirring the soup, “Um May 1st?” Mr. Hannes nodded his head, “You said that like a question but Levi nodded as well so I’ll take that as being correct.” Levi was cleaning the apartment from top to bottom. Hannes had a photo book out and had been showing Levi photos of his wife and children. Levi never asked about them. He just knew they were gone. He wanted to cry. Rabbi Berkovich stopped in and gave Eren a packet. He spent a few minutes whispering to him and then came to chat with Levi. Berkovich excused himself and Hannes uncovered the photo book he covered when he came in. “You already know, don’t you?” Levi sat down as Eren brought the tea before the soup was finished. Levi tch’ed when he made to leave, “Sit, you haven’t sat the whole time.” Hannes laughed, “Used to tell my wife that all the time.”

Eren kissed Levi, “I’m going to call Jean. I need to take care of some business and I’ve got ten minutes before that soup is down.” Eren moved to the balcony to call Jean, “Horse face, I need to talk to you about- YEAH I KNOW RIGHT?!” The door closed leaving Hannes and Levi alone, “Berkovich, he was going to marry my youngest daughter.” Levi felt the dread bubble up, 

  
“How many kids did you have?”   
”Five: three girls and two sons.”   
”What happened?”   
”House fire. Killed my wife and my girls.”   
”Your sons?”   
”One died recently but his kids and their kids live in Canada. The other moved to Israel and he and his partner live in Tel Aviv and I get cards and calls. It changed us all. It hurt our relationships because, well, I don’t judge them for feeling like this, but they all wondered…why not me? Why did mom have to die? I get it, I wish it had been me too.”   
”You were colder and they were more bonded with their mother?”   
”Yes and no. I was a good dad and they love me. They were closer to their mother because she was just a proud Jewish mother and they were her perfect sons named after her father and brother. I’ve always been closer to my girls because I wanted girls.”   
Levi became nostalgic, “Nothing like a little girl twirling in a dress with ribbons in her hair to make you feel like things are going to be alright, right?” Levi got more choked up.

”Ha, exactly. All those poor girls that get raped and hurt and treated like property. Makes me sick, all of it. I saw them selling themselves to put food on the table, picking up ruble and rebuilding cities. What fool would ever think women were insignificant? What fool would ever think that a little girl wasn’t more precious than anything in this world? Women are, in my opinion, much stronger than men. They have to be. Because this world is wicked and they’re told to just go find someone and lay down to them because they can’t cut it, they can’t live in a man’s world. I’m a man and I can barely live in a man’s world. How strong must women be to walk out everyday on the streets and know that they could be raped, assaulted, beaten, and whatever else just because they are, because they dared to be. I raised strong girls and feminist sons. I raised good kids to do good by others and their mother was more than just a wife. She was my partner. That’s what marriage is, a partnership. Because marriage doesn’t benefit women, it benefit’s men. Even you and Eren would face discrimination even though you’re both men. Someone is going to ask “who is the wife?” What the fuck do you mean who is the wife? Why does someone have to be down lower than the other for it to work? Fuck that.”

Levi made eyes at Eren leaning over the railing, “I’m going to ask Grisha for his blessing to ask Eren to marry me. But, really….I kind of just want yours. I’ve possibly never agreed with anyone more in my life than you.” Hannes opened his newspaper, “You want to marry that out there?” Levi was caught off guard, “Yes?” Hannes flipped the page, “Yes? Like a question? Do you two never make statements? You wanna marry that boy out there who can cook, clean, has anger issues, is possibly the most sincere person in the world, and is pretty enough to be a girl? I mean,” He paused looking over his reading glasses at Eren, “I guess that’s a good choice.” He shrugged, “Grisha is going to be a problem.” Levi was very confused, “Is that a yes or no, old man?” Levi was growing annoyed, “Did you hear I said he could cook? Yes, that’s a yes. Though, you’re like me, you fell in love with someone that’s too good for you. Never forget that and treat him right. You’d be a real asshole if he’d converted and you’d not married him. I told my son I’d pay for his wedding if he’d marry his partner but they never did.” Levi smirked, “I know he is too good for me. Thank you, Mr. Hannes.”

Eren entered rushing to the stove, “This is ready.” Levi smiled, “You’ve never cooked for me, ever.” Hannes snorted, “You’ve been missing out, Levka.” Eren sat down, “It may not be that good and it’s not kosher.” He frowned, “I don’t expect you to cook kosher, Eren.” Eren shot up, “I’ve been taking lessons! One day I’ll make you something and show you how far my skills have come.” Levi blinked, “Are you serious? You’ve been learning how to cook kosher?” Eren’s face was determined, “Yes, of course I have!” Hannes laughed, “My God, you’re on fire and for nothing.” Levi ate a spoonful of soup and then another and another and before long he was draining the bowl. Eren picked at his watching Levi intently, “Do you want more?” Levi turned to Hannes, “Do I want more? He asks if I want more?” Hannes chuckled, “Of course we want more, little shit. Don’t be such a little shit.” Levi laughed as well, “You cook marvelously, ahuvi.” Eren looked smug as he took their bowls to refill them. “Wait till you eat my latkes and maze balls. They’re divine.” Levi couldn’t wait.

Back at the house Armin was excited to possibly start pampering himself after pulling all nighters in the library for finals week. His last final was that morning and after returning home from class and his shift at the bookstore he’d received a call from Marco. “Hey, could you…come back to campus and…help me spy?” Armin had looked at the big bed made by Erwin that morning all by himself. He’d not seen Erwin except for maybe three hours and that was during their finals they had at the same time. Erwin had been leaving messages around the house for him and sending him depressing texts of the bed at night with his side empty. Armin had tried to make it up by making his lunch and leaving it in the fridge for him, leaving notes too, and sending triple X photos from his private study room in the library.

He drove the campus seeing Marco on the corner standing in a space to save for Armin, “Hurry and follow me.” Marco keyed in a pass code and they went into the media and arts building where Jean’s studio was located. “What are we doing Marco?” Marco hissed, “Spying on some shady ass bitches.” Armin giggled quietly, “My favorite hobby.” When they got to the stairs they climbed them quickly and Armin almost asked why. Jean was on the fourth floor and they could have taken the elevator. “Jean has a review for the art school and it could mean a scholarship good for anywhere there is a great art concentration, admission to the school with extra credit hours, and pretty much a star spot in the art museum in Atlanta and I’ve got this feeling that there is one jealous ass bitch who’d love to destroy that.” 

Marco and Armin snuck into an empty studio space where voices could be heard and people seen. Krista and her girlfriend were arguing about her work. "It's just not good enough." Ymir groaned, "You know I can't tell the difference. I think it all looks the same and yours is the best." Krista moved, pulling a tarp back, "Look, really look at his stuff! It's fabulous. I hate him so much but I just want to have a fraction of talent like he does." Ymir sighed, "He's a huge ass-wipe." Krista clicked her tongue against her teeth, "True but he's going to win with this." Ymir stood up, "You better destroy it or step up. I want you to get that scholarship. We could go somewhere on that money, baby girl. We could go to New York." Krista covered the painting. "I just need to top this or negate it. He went punk rock and I'll just do the same." Ymir whistled, "If you do the same thing will it end up like last time?" Krista nodded, "yeah I'll just go first. My dad will pay for the trip so no worries. I just got to keep floating a little longer. If he has an accident before he presented that would look too suspicious. Plus they partner us up randomly and I think he’s mine and that mean’s out of the two of us only one will be accepted. If he wins and gets in first I’ll not be taken." Ymir snorted, “We’ll work something out.” Armin was livid and so was Marco. They crawled back out into the hall and took the stairs again.

"I fucking _knew_ it. That bitch." Armin was red, "Who does she think she is." Marco laughed bitterly, "Anti-Armin. Well generic Armin according to Jean. She’s all cute and wonderful and sweet and everyone loves her and her hello kitty note pads and Chocó cat t-shirts. He can not stand her but he’s never been able to pin-point why. In Midterm review she had work similar to his and it hurt his grade. I’ve had this feeling the entire time that she’s a copy cat artist and I started speaking with his friend Tina and we’re building a case against her. I wanted you to come because well…..Jean is really important to both of us.” Marco chewed his lip.

Armin became aware that this was a potentially dangerous conversation, “I care about Jean because he’s my family, Marco. You’re my family. I’m not in love with Jean.” Marco’s eye widened, “I know! I know it’s just…he listens to you and sometimes I feel like…like you out rank me.” Armin felt horrible, “Marco that’s only because…because we went through something really intense together that he hates to talk about. He’ll tell you one day, on his own time. But, I don’t out rank you. Please don’t hate me.” Marco frowned, “I don’t hate you. I’m just insecure, Armin. It’s my cross to bare.” Armin hugged Marco, “Talk to me more. Don’t hold anything back. Be ugly, Eren is and so is Jean. It’s how it works.” Marco hugged him back with fervor, “We’ve got to make sure that what Jean turns in is better than what they think he’s turning in, if you catch my drift. Don’t tell him why because he’ll lose his temper.”Armin giggled, “Yeah, he’ll make things way worse. I got to go home Marco. I’m so tired.” 

Marco nodded, “Wait, have you eaten?” Armin shook his head, “No, I’m actually really hungry.” Marco smiled, “Let’s go get some _treif_ ,” He smiled a glorious smile, whispering the word “treif” like it was something dirty and forbidden, “Levi doesn’t have to know.” Armin lost it, laughing hysterically, “But he will! He’ll smell it on us. Can’t you hear his deadpan voice, “Did you filthy brats eat a _cheeseburger?_ ” Amrin imitated Levi’s voice and facial expressions to the T and Marco nearly fell into the open planter near them. “My God, it’ll be worth it!” They laughed and walked across the street to Five Guys Burgers and Fries eating their goyish delights and planning what to do with Jean. Marco and Armin really enjoyed hanging out with one another and Armin thought that this was worth missing out on some sleep.

Armin’s phone rang, “Yes?” Erwin’s gruff voice, “Where are you?” Armin drank his coke, “Eating with Marco.” The line was quiet, “Come home, now.” Armin felt like teasing, “What do I get if I come home now?” Marco smirked, guessing from the tone that he must be speaking to Erwin, “Diamonds.” Armin looked to Marco, “I have to go home now.” Marco clicked his tongue behind his teeth, “What do you get if you go?” Armin gave him an innocent look, “My daddy says I’ll get diamonds.” Marco nearly choked on his coke, “Then you better go, go, go!” He made a shooing motion and Armin laughed standing up and walking out to his car, “Are you on your way?” Armin hummed, “Mm hm, will you really give me diamonds?”

Erwin moaned slightly, “Are you touching yourself, Erwin?” Erwin whimpered, “How naughty.” Erwin sounded frustrated, “A week and a half I haven’t touched you or been in the same room as you, baby.” Armin was driving, he’d be home in about seven minutes maybe quicker, “You were in class with me.” He teased, relishing in what that must be doing to him. Erwin moaned again, throatily. “You just kept sending those photos and I’ve been dying to touch you.” Armin turned at the red light, Armin’s voice could have put a sex line operator to shame with the amount of arousal and seduction he laced it with, “Why don’t you do that when I get home? Touch me all over and fuck me.” Erwin sounded like he was going to sob, “Come on, daddy. Come for me.” Armin’s voice was breathy and aroused. He was putting on a show for Erwin and he knew Erwin deserved it after two weeks of barely any contact. He’d neglected him and he wanted to make up for that. Armin was close to home but he didn’t want to rush Erwin. He pulled up to the house, parking and after Erwin came he told him he’d be upstairs shortly.

Eren and Levi had gone to see Mr. Hannes and Marco was going to Annie’s house where Jean was already. Bertholdt and Reiner had really hit it off with them and Marco was holding out hope that Reiner and Bertholdt would soon figure out what was going on between them. Or so he’d told Armin when they went to get pedicures the other day, something Eren and Jean had never done with him. Either way, they’d be gone for a good two hours. Armin bounced up the stairs vainly trying to smell Erwin, his scent, his sex, his anything. He’d missed him horribly and had been stealing his dirty shirts to sleep in because they smelled like him and his cologne.

Armin opened the door finding Erwin on the bed, shirt off and slacks unbuttoned. His flaccid cock still pink laying on his legs and his stomach dirty from release. He gazed over to Armin, a lopsided and lazy smile graced his features, “Baby.” Armin smiled taking his shirt and pants off, “Daddy, tell me what you want.” Erwin sat up wiggling his slacks off, “Come here, baby.” Armin sashayed over to Erwin pulling off his boxers before climbing in bed. Erwin grabbed him tossing him on his back like he weighed nothing. He took a silk ribbon, baby blue, and tied it tightly around the base of Armin’s half hard erection. Armin’s eyes were amused and anxious for what was to come.

Erwin kissed down Armin’s chest biting and sucking purple spots of love down to his navel where he dipped his tongue in and swirled making Armin breathless. His large hands moved up and down his small thighs kneading the soft flesh before his mouth blew hot against his now erect and leaking cock. He mouthed at the underside, licking the vein that ran beneath before giving the head a few strong licks. Armin moaned wantonly, hands fisted in the sheets as he waited for Erwin’s next move. Erwin had never given Armin a blow job. Armin was the one who’d always wanted to suck Erwin and didn’t mind that he didn’t insist on doing the same. This was something that needed to change because he’d never been as aroused till now.

Or so he thought. Erwin didn’t bestow him with any more kisses and licks, nor did he engulf him with his hot mouth. He moved downwards instead, his hands spreading Armin’s legs wider and thumbs rubbing at his small pink entrance. Erwin lavished it with attention, his tongue sliding in and probing. Armin convulsed with pleasure, moaning loudly. He loved to be rimmed and if Erwin didn’t know that before then he did now. Now that Armin was begging him to keep going, delirious from pleasure and wanton. He wanted Erwin to never stop.

After a long time of teasing and opening Armin with his tongue he moved away, sweating from his work. Armin was flushed pink all over, eyes glassy and unfocused. He moved to kiss his strained and leaking cock causing Armin to whimper. He engulfed him, sucking him in to the back of his throat, relishing in the taste of simply Armin. It was sweet like honey and apples. He took him in fully, nose pressed against the base and hummed. Armin groaned as he inserted fingers, working him open more than he had already and preparing him for his sizable girth. He bobbed up and down, eyes trained on Armin’s face who’d closed his eyes and let his mouth fall open as he let a litany of praise for Erwin fall from his pouty lips, “Daddy, yes, oh God, yeah, daddy you’re amazing, the best ever, ahh you drive me insane you’re so good, so good to me, oh, thank God you exist. Ah, Erwin, yeaaah,” He keened when Erwin hit his prostate, “God, I love you, Erwin. yesssss.” Erwin felt himself fill with satisfaction that he had reduced Armin to such a state. It was like the night he’d stretched and filled him to the max, something he’d love to repeat.

Erwin knew Armin would be over stimulated and feeling that need to come more than ever. He was a trooper, he never begged or said it was too much thought Erwin knew that every time he bucked and leaned into his touch that was silent plea for him to let him reach climax. His hips vibrated and shook from the stimulation. Erwin pulled off of him leaving him for a few beats to get something Armin couldn’t see. When he returned he flipped Armin on his stomach and took him roughly, fucking him deeply and roughly.

He was glad he’d come before Armin got there. He would not have lasted this long especially with how Armin was meeting every almost violent thrust with equal fervor and the sounds he was making. His sweet boy, begging him, “Fuck me, harder daddy, harder. Fuck me and come in me, fill me up. God, I’m yours, all yours.” Erwin leaned over him molding his chest to his back, “You’re mine, Armin. Mine. No one else gets you.” Armin whimpered as he slowed his pace biting on the thin skin at the nape of his back growling, “You’re mine, baby. My baby, my sweet baby. I love you. I’m going to love you forever.” He left kisses all over his back, biting and pulling out more sounds from Armin and then before Armin could hear the buzz of the small vibrator he started to insert it alongside his own length.

Armin’s eye rolled back, mouth open, drooling all over the sheets. He moaned for a long time, pitch increasing the entire time. He’d never felt so good, so stretched out and full. He loved it, loved that Erwin did this on his own and he didn’t have to ask, he loved that after almost two weeks without sex and a week without seeing each other or even sleeping in the same bed this was how Erwin attacked him. He felt loved and wanted. Something he’d craved his entire life.

Erwin wasn’t going to last much longer, not with the vibration and tight heat around him. Armin was whining desperately for relief and soon Erwin felt himself fall off the edge, coming hard and coating Armin’s insides. Armin groaned pushing back on him trying to get him to go deeper. Erwin reached around to untie the ribbon barely able to concentrate with how blissed out he felt and the sounds of Armin in need. He managed to untie the silk and Armin collapsed coming and coming. He seized up; his words were a jumbled mess of thanks, his nose wrinkled as his face scrunched up in pleasure as he was racked with wave after wave. It felt like hours passed till he started to come down. Erwin had pulled out, turning the vibrator off and removing it.

Armin was incoherent and he looked at his wrecked come filled body. A part of him was deeply satisfied, a primal part of him. He’d decided to make Armin his, give him his whole heart and devote himself to him and his every whim. He picked Armin up walking into the bathroom to the shower where he cleaned them both off. Afterwards he laid Armin on the chaise lounge they’d found at an antique store one lazy Sunday. Armin was wiped out and Erwin stripped the bed, putting on fresh sheets before he heard him, “Daddy, I’m cold.” Erwin had only wrapped them in towels. He laid the duvet and down comforter on the bed and headed to their closet picking Armin up on the way. He pulled on an old pair of cerulean lounge pants from the marines and a short sleeved white V-neck Hanes t-shirt. He put a pair of orange sleeper shorts with white kittens on them and an oversized dark gray t-shirt with a picture of the famous “Chat noir” poster on it on him. “I want socks.” Erwin groaned, “Fine, no socks. Let me put my feet on you to stay warm or there will be hell to pay, Erwin Smith, hell.” 

Erwin and Armin came back in to the bedroom. He laid Armin in the bed, “Are you ready for your diamonds?” Armin snorted and rolled his eyes, “Yeah, like you’ve really got diamonds to shower me with because I came to see you.” He tch’ed and Erwin gave him a look of “oh really now?” “Actually, my sweet, I do have diamonds for you.” He leaned down opening his safe and pulling a few things out, “I thought my baby might want to look like the debutant, high society, aristocratic person they are.” Armin looked at Erwin. His face and eyes betrayed nothing but Armin was suspicious, “Are you serious, Erwin?” Erwin smiled, “I am always serious when it comes to you, Armin Arlert.” He laid the boxes in a row on the bed, “Here you are.” 

Armin was paralyzed, “What the fuck?” He reached out hesitantly expecting at any moment this to be a gag Jean was playing on him or for there to be candy necklaces and such in the boxes. He opened the first box and gasped. It was a [ necklace](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/84/da/d0/84dad02d53e5714ca42eb2822bd35c3e.jpg) that resembled a peacock in its colors, style, and design. It was breath taking. Armin reached for the next box making Erwin chuckle. He opened it to a [ art deco platinum watch](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/77/9e/34/779e34134f50f73b60125160ce8ecfd3.jpg) with diamonds and intricate design. The next one revealed a [ bracelet ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/a6/04/e9/a604e90ea649c8bf53af05220482e553.jpg) made of blue sapphires and diamonds, small and delicate that could be worn easily with his [ Cartier ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/0c/f6/7c/0cf67ceaa78e998e499e5d6d7281c02b.jpg) Love lock bracelet. Armin was hesitant to open the last two boxes. One contained an [ art deco diamond necklace ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/bf/0b/f6/bf0bf6ce6e453d701447d55bc2f39e8b.jpg) and the other an [ art deco](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/72/cb/76/72cb768b76024f9ce324855f435f2670.jpg) diamond and onyx dinner ring. Armin was moved to tears, “Erwin, I don’t deserve any of this.” 

Erwin slid beside him, “You’re right…” Armin looked up at him, eyes red and tear on the brim, “You deserve more. But, alas, I am a mere mortal and I must attempt to make due with mortal things. You are a young demi God, made from Brunhilde’s spun gold straw and thread with sapphire eyes and pearl teeth and rose water lips.” Erwin stroked the hair from his face, “Oh my God that was perfect.” Jean stood in the doorway, “I’m sorry to interrupt but Marco wanted to know if you had his phone?” Jean looked at the bed, “Did I just interrupt a huge moment or something?” Armin laughed, “No, Um…I don’t have his phone. Why?” Jean shrugged, “Then he’s lost it and that’s kind of a problem.” Armin contemplated the day, “Have you been to your studio today?” Jean shook his head, “Nooooooo and…uggghhhhhh I need to gooooo but ugghhhh.” Jean waved his arms around making a dying expression, Erwin was very amused, “Ah yes, don’t you just hate it when uuuughhhhhhh bluuuurgggggg. I know I do.” Jean gave him a haughty look, “Listen, it’s hard to do something like art when you aren’t inspired.” Armin bit his lip, “It might be in your studio. Probably not in your space though. We stopped by to surprise you and I grabbed some food with Marco. We got lost a little bit trying to find your studio space, my fault mostly I was really out of it ‘cause of finals you know? Anyway, he may have dropped it because of me getting lost.” Jean smiled, “That’s strange but yeah I’ll look and thanks. What’s with the diamonds?” 

Armin’s face flushed, “Erwin…ummm…” Erwin patted Armin’s leg, “Can’t I spoil my baby?” He gave Jean a smile that hid a thousand threats if he opened his mouth. “Can I take a look?” Jean and Armin examined the jewels while Erwin talked about where he bought them and declined to take them back when Armin insisted he wasn’t worth that. Jean gave them each a hug and headed out to his car to go to the studio. He was feeling oddly inspired by Erwin’s words and the wheels started turning. 

Marco ran up after parking, “Where are you going?” Jean leaned forward to smirk, “Going to the studio to get your phone. I head you stopped by to surprise me and Armin got lost. You’re the best babe.” He kissed a pleasantly poker faced Marco, _Armin you sneaky devil,_ “Babe, how much do you love me?” Jean smirked, “A lot.” Marco used his charms, “Go to the studio and grab your stuff, all of it. Grab your canvases and painting. Come back and work on everything till Friday.” Jean frowned, “Uh…why?” Marco leaned in through the window, “Do it,” he purred watching as Jean’s eyes widened in shock and curiosity, “Trust me and I’ll make it worth your while.” He gave Jean a searing kiss. “In fact, let me go with you now and you can fuck me in that Krista girl’s space if she’s not there.” Jean turned bright red and then burst into laughter, “Get it. I doubt we’ll have the chance but come just in case. I love you, Babe. You’re too good to be true.” Marco slid in, _Oh Jean, you’re so easy._

Armin lay in bed with Erwin after Jean left crying. He cried because he was tired, because he was moved, because he was safe, because he was wanted and he cried because he never wanted this to end. He always prepared himself for the end because it always came. People leave, they leave him. Erwin was confused and rightfully so be he didn’t question when Armin crawled into his arms pressing his face in his chest. “I love you” he sobbed out, “and I don’t understand how you could love me this much.” Erwin rocked Armin till he calmed down pressing light kisses to his head. “I don’t know how you love an old man like me.” Erwin tried to tease, “Because I’ve always had a taste for older men and you’re rich and handsome. Not to mention a cold blooded killer with a rockin’ hard body. The pros about you go on for pages and pages.”

”Tomorrow I have to go out of town with Levi for business.” Armin was devastated and began to cry more, “Nooooooo we just got finished with classes. Pleaseeeeee stay with me.” It broke Erwin’s heart to hear Armin beg for him to stay but it wasn’t like he was not going to go. No, he expected it to be nerve wracking speaking to Armin’s opa and for Levi to get destroyed by Dr. Jaeger. “I’ll be leaving in the morning and should be back before dinner, so don’t worry. You can spend time with Eren and Jean and help Eren prepare for his meeting Friday for the vet school. Or you could also go see Hanji and the baby. It’s been a few days since they brought Mila home and as long as you’re not ill then visiting is fine.” Mila stayed in the hospital for almost two weeks and was now breathing on her own and was to all who could see a happy, healthy, and beautiful baby.

Armin pouted, “Yeah, I could do those things…but I’d rather crawl in your back pocket and be with you all day.” Armin placed his feet beneath Erwin’s knee caps and thighs, “You’re feet are so cold!” Armin snickered, “Eren is always hot and so is Jean and when I’d sleep with them they’d yell out “there is one frost giant alive! Odin! You had one job! How small is he, the littlest frost giant.” Hahaha.” Erwin kissed Armin, “My little frost giant.” Armin squirmed, “Come home quickly. I want to watch the _Prince of Egypt_ with you and gossip.” Erwin gave him an amused look, “Gossip about what?” Armin turned his head to the side, “Weeeeellll,” Erwin would be lying if he didn’t enjoy gossip, “You know Eren is converting to Judaism.” Erwin gasped, “UH NO, I DID NOT!” Armin smiled, “Yeah, he kept it a secret EVEN FROM ME and then somehow Levi found out and he told me that ever since Levi found out he’s been acting really weird.” Erwin was curious about where this was going, “Weird how?” Armin gave him a “do I really need to go on” look, “Do you think Levi would ever ask Eren to marry him? Is he that kind of traditional guy? Eren doesn’t think anything like that is going to happen. He hasn’t said anything to me about it. But, from what he’s told me and then after watching Levi with him I kind of get the feeling Levi might just spring it on him and ask him.”

Erwin’s body went stiff, “Um, I’ve never thought about it. Maybe he would. Would that be too soon?” Armin seemed to ponder to himself. “No. I don’t think it’s too soon. We’ve all been through a lot together and I mean….we just killed someone together….We’re a little past the point of no return.” Erwin frowned, “How do you feel about that?” Armin shrugged, “I mean, I don’t worry about Molbit because I know it’s impossible for anyone to find him and I think it’s the same for the guy who dated Jean’s mother but I still worry about that more than Molbit. I think we go through things with our soul mates others don’t. I don’t think if you weren’t my soul mate we’d have ever made it past Halloween.” Erwin smiled, “I like that. Thank you for sharing that opinion. If he did ask Eren, do you think he’d say yes? Armin smiled, “Yeah…” Erwin gave him a quizzical look, “I do think he’d say yes and I’d be so happy and excited. But, I’d also be a little worried that when they got married they’d change. What if they want to leave? Also, I mean…it would make me wonder about my own future and security if Eren was secured and locked down. But, that’s getting ahead of myself because who knows if Levi’s even that traditional. He’d probably be 80 something and just be like “Brat…we’re married. Hand me the kosher salt.” Armin laughed as Erwin watched him intently. 

Armin braided a small braid in his hair, “I should have Eren cut this back short shouldn’t I? Before he….” Armin began to get emotional again sending Erwin off into a tizzy, “Why are you so emotional right now, baby? I’m worried about you!” Armin wiped his face, “I’m just tired and sad! Eren and Levi leave Monday! Moooonndaaaay! Eren is going to be gone for a whole month and I can’t stand it. I know you’re upset about Levi, too! But my Eren is going to be gone. Then when we leave, “He sniffled loudly, “Jean will be here and I’ll not see him!” Erwin stifled the feeling of dread that came with the mention of Levi leaving. 

Eren and Armin were just as close and he’d not asked Armin about his feelings in regards to Eren leaving for a month as well, “Well, we’re going to see them June sixth.” Armin pouted like a child who was interested but they’d be damned if they let you know, “What?” Erwin tried to soothe him, “Yes, because there will be huge celebrations in Normandy we’re going to have them come up and visit and then we’ll go to Paris for a few days and then London.” Armin wrinkled his nose. Erwin didn’t even let him begin, “Oh, do NOT wrinkle your nose at that. You are insatiable.” Armin gave him a look of disbelief grabbing up his blanket, “Then I shall wrinkle it elsewhere.” Erwin cringed, “Baaaby, I don’t want you to leave.” Armin huffed, “You sure didn’t let me even begin what I was saying so I shall say it elsewhere.” Armin moved off the bed with Erwin trailing behind.

Erwin tackled Armin, “Forgive me! I am a lowly man who knoweth not what he has! Woe is me and my un-thoughtful comments.” Armin smirked slightly, “I was going to say that it would be great if we could all go to Germany as well while were over there.” Erwin kissed Armin’s neck, “Mmmmmm yes, a tour of Europe. I have everything through the school for a month but July can be just you and I and as many countries as we have spaces for in out passports. You have your passport?” Armin burrowed under the covers, “Shit, it’s at my house. I guess I could go get it tomorrow-“ Erwin did not need him doing that, “Actually my meeting is up past your hometown so I’ll tell you opa that I need to stop by and if worse comes to worse he can leave it in the mailbox outside.” Erwin smiled reassuringly, “Oh, um, yeah.” Armin seemed confused but didn’t press him. _That was too close for comfort. Armin, you’re going to be the death of Levi and me._ Erwin grabbed Armin, pulling him on top of him on his chest where he loved have him, feeling his smaller body on him. They turned on the TV to the sight of breaking world news. ************************** 

Levi and Erwin ate on the way up there a small snack. Levi was very tired from what Erwin could tell. He reached over stroking the hair out of his face. Levi leaned into the touch as he drove along the road up North West of their city. Donner edged forward licking Erwin’s hand. Erwin chuckled delightedly, "Donner, I'm going to miss you but Commander will be beside himself without you." He smiled as Levi looked more ill, "Are you sick Levi?" Levi was stone cold, "No." Erwin scratched his unshaven face. "Why didn't you shave?" Erwin looked surprised, "Armin likes it." Levi tch'ed, "Did you hear? About Paris?" Erwin nodded, "Armin and I followed it all night. What does that mean for you?" Levi's voice was morose and tone clipped, "Delayed from Monday morning to that night. The school dean is personally coming to get us and put us up in university housing till things settle down. They'll never settle down about the refugees now. I can feel the lash back building. “Terrorists hiding among those tax sucking state ruining refugees.” They’ll cry it in the streets those right wing extremists like those in Germany with PEGIDA. Muslim hate crimes will increase which will lead to Jewish hate crimes increasing and innocent people will blamed, abused, and exploited. It's horrible how ugly people can be."

Erwin continued to scratch his face, "Terrorism is never justified." Levi felt hot, "No it's not....and then you've got those 4th and 5th generation wanna-be RAF members and PLO supporters and then ISIS sympathizers because “radical change is the only way to fix the broken system”..we live in such a fucked up world. Violence that could affect innocent civilians is never the first choice for any sane organization but for some groups it seems to be their _only_ and first choice and that is asinine." Erwin nodded, "This is why you're worried who to give the serum to." Levi tch'ed, "What if you had gunmen who could heal themselves and keep killing others? What a problem that would make for the police. What if the bad guys were super human? How many good guys would die? I'm worried it's just not worth it. I can't seem to make it temporary and I'm frustrated. I'm frustrated because I just....." Erwin understood, "You just want the world to unit and be good. _Yachid_ , right?" Levi looked at the steering wheel, “Yes, you’re right.” Another beat of silence, “This is why the Messiah doesn’t come, you know? Because why would he with the world so fucked up. Secularism is great for protecting everyone. It’s in everyone’s favor, why can’t people see that? Terrorism does nothing productive for anyone, despite how noble the cause may be to those performing the terror.” More silence continued.

Levi chewed the inside of his cheek, "I'm sorry, Erwin." It was Erwin's turn to be confused, "Why?" Levi pulled on 280, "Eren is converting and every time you mentioned it I shot you down and none too kindly." _Oh, so that's it,_ "Well, I understood. Honestly, with Reform it doesn't matter. Armin and I can go with you and Eren to services because Reform accepts interfaith families." Levi snorted, "We're an interfaith family now?" Erwin was un-amused, "Are we not? Am I going to actually be able to go to church with Armin and our kids and find a place that works for us and accepts us? No, I think not. We could go with Marco on important holidays to the Catholic Church but our kids would probably learn things Armin and I would not agree with. Plus, you think Armin and Eren are going to want to go to different places? HA!" Levi smiled, "They can't do anything without the other it's insane. I know we're bad but damn. Eren asked Armin if he thought he should throw his tooth brush away the other night." Erwin deadpanned, "I know, he ran into my room looking for Armin and reminded me I'd not slept in the same bed as him for a week. Then he chatted snaps or whatever that shit is of up close photos of the bristles in my room before leaving. Made a….vine of it…what is that?” Levi shrugged, “Kein Ahnung. (No idea).” Erwin shrugged too, “We don't do shit like that.....do we?" Levi exhaled shortly, "Noooooo......I doubt it." Erwin couldn't think of anything either, "Nice to have future husbands that will tag team us and keep us in line." Levi nodded before Erwin added, "If they say yes." Levi's eye squinted up, "Yes....if." 

Dr. Jaeger and Carla were at home. They decided to do them first and Levi had called making an appointment for an hour of their time. Upon entering Carla embraced Levi and Grisha shook his hand. Erwin came inside after him and they all sat in the formal dining room with cups of coffee. Grisha pulled at his tie, "So, did Eren lose his temper and do something horrid?" Levi snorted, "No, Eren is fine but I want to talk to you about him. You know he's coming with me to France, correct?" Carla furrowed her brow, "No." Levi panicked, "For three months. He's my assistant and we've received a grant to do some ground breaking research at Marie Curie in Paris." Carla turned green, "PARIS! It's not safe!" Levi felt like he was losing control of their conversation and focus, "Yes but when it comes to terrorism the best way of foiling the perpetrators intent is to go one with life. Life should prevail even in the face of adversity. We'll be safely escorted from the airport to the university grounds, which have been on lock down and that's where we will stay for the first week or two till things tone down. We leave on Monday late that night." Carla looked angry, "I don't like the thought of that." Grisha looked at Levi coolly, "You didn't come to tell us that." Levi nodded, "I'm going to ask Eren to marry me and I want your blessings."

Grisha and Carla were unreadable; "Sure," Grisha drank his coffee, "On one condition." Levi's stomach clenched, "You convert. We want our grandchildren raised like Eren in the church. We think children should come from a united home under one faith. We can do nothing about you being two men and I've tried to move past my own prejudice and with the help of Carla I think I'm coming along. But salvation, Levi, salvation I cannot risk. We love you and truthfully you're an ideal husband for Eren: smart, educated, a veteran, and you love our son with everything you have. That's why we want you to be saved and when we die we want you standing with those in heaven whose names were written in the book of life. I can't give you my blessing unless you do this. What do you have to lose? You have everything to gain. Eren and eternal life, what a prize." Levi thought he might be having an aneurysm. "Thank you for your time Mr. and Mrs. Jaeger." Levi stood as Carla reached out for his hand, "We care about you Levi. We're here no matter what decision you make. Just....protect Eren....keep him safe for us." Levi attempted a smile and nodded before leaving the house with Donner and Erwin making polite conversation as he left too.

Erwin got inside and they took off down the street to Armin's house. He knew Levi didn't want to talk about it and that was fine for now. When Erwin entered the Arlets household it was to the sad face of Armin's opa, "They're here. I'm so sorry." Erwin's blood went hot, "That's fine. First may I have the passport?" Opa Arlert pulled the passport out and handed it to Erwin, "Let's make it short since they're here and-" from down the hall, "Erwin Smith! What beings you here? Is Armin even home, Atticus?" Erwin's angered flared. They didn't know where their own son was. He entered into the living room at their behest and they all sat down. "Erwin...what did you want to talk about?" Erwin didn't want to drag this out,”I'd like your blessing to ask Armin to marry me." Startled and outraged gasps were heard before Opa Arlert smiled, "Of course! I'd be proud for you to marry Armin. You know I've got a soft spot for you." Mr. Arlert stood up, "I'm his father! ITS MY BLESSING TO GIVE AND YOU ABSOLUTELY MAY NOT HAVE IT! I'M THE FATHER!" Erwin's cool demeanor stayed, "Who doesn’t even know where his son is." Mrs. Arlert launched into a rant about how homosexuality was a sin and abomination and no son of hers would enter into such an efface against God. Her fire and brimstone only made him angrier. 

He gave Opa Arlert and apologetic look to which he shrugged and then Erwin stood, "Opa, I'll keep you posted on the details and I think you for your support. I cherish Armin and wish to do so for the rest of my life. You always have a place with us and never hesitate to visit." Mr. Arlert launched into another argument till Erwin held his hand up, "Kindly shut the fuck up." The room went silent as Levi stood with Donner walking towards the hallway. "Your son was assaulted and nearly murdered and you did _nothing_. Not one phone call and you still haven’t. He's mine now, has been since we met. I've got his documents and he's off your hands. Do him a favor, break it off cleanly or step the fuck up and be a damn parent you selfish conservative fanatic fucks." 

Erwin's body trembled, "Ha! He's not a full legal adult yet you idiot! The state of Alabama says you have to be 19. This isn't the last you've heard of us!" Erwin shook Opa Arlert’s hand before heading to the car. His mind spinning with the things he'd like to do to them. Levi started the engine, "They never even called?" Erwin's voice was deadly and disgusted, "No. He cried for weeks. Eren told me after he'd almost had a slip up. What the fuck do they mean he's not an adult? Are they implying he isn't 19?" Levi put the car back in park ready to get back out and give them hell, "Lee, let's go. They're not worth it." Levi wanted to hurt them. What parents cared so little about their own child? He would never understand. He would never do that to his child. He drove them back feeling horrible about how the day had gone. Erwin didn't speak and he was glad. He wanted only one thing when he got back to Maria.

Levi dropped Erwin off at the house before heading out. When the doorbell rang Hanji was wearing a loose fitting sack dress in brown with mossy green leggings. Their hair undone and flowing freely as the beginning of super could be smelled in the kitchen. They smiled, reaching out to hug Levi when he held his hands palm out up, "Mila" Hanji frowned, "Really?" Levi stared before sighing and rolling his eyes, a look of utter annoyance, "Please?"

*************************

Mila laid on Levi's chest as he reclined in Mikes chair. She gurgled and made all the little noises babies make and his heart felt like it was swelling. Her eyes were green with rims of blue and a few yellow flakes, so faint you had to be as close as he was to see it. Her lip shape was a mix of Hanji and Mike and that hair color was, from what Hanji had said, a remnant of their Hungarian ancestry. Curly dark brown hair with long black eyelashes that made Levi’s knees weak. She looked like a porcelain doll and so sweet he wanted to eat her up like an ice cream cone. 

They pulled out photos from Mike and Hanji’s past. Photos he'd never seen before of Hanji's mother and grandmother. Mike's family was southern royalty and each of the men favored one another through the generations save for an occasional dark headed boy with blue eyes. The hair was obviously a recessive trait in his own line. Her eyes were a similar shade of green to Mike's as well. Levi lifted her up sitting himself up and kissed her small hands, feet, and forehead speaking to her the whole time. "She's going to speak Hebrew or French before English if you keep on." Levi smirked, "Good, she'll be even more advanced than the brats she'll be around." Hanji smiled, "Is she a brat?" Levi looked aghast, "No! She’s my little sweetness, shitty glasses. Don’t say such outlandish things." Hanji merely laughed watching how happy Levi was. They eventually got him to open up as to why he came. When he left, Mila cried out which was unlike her. He turned back on his heels, a look of sorrow on his normally stoic face, and kissed her till she calmed down, breaking Hanji’s heart. Levi deserved a break.

*******************

Levi arrived to find Erwin at the kitchen table, “Come with me.” Erwin was wearing white lounge shorts and a long sleeve thin cotton navy shirt that flattered his skin tone. Levi followed him upstairs leaving his shoes at the door. When they got to his room Erwin opened the door and they walked in seeing papers on the chairs and Eren and Armin tangled in the bed together, breaths mingling, and eyes closed in deep sleep. They looked magnificent. “Jean already came in and took pictures. I kind of want whatever he makes out of this.” Levi smiled, “They’re so cute it hurts.” Erwin looked shocked, “You used the word “cute.” My GOD!” 

Eren stirred, his eyes fluttered open as he squinted at them. Armin followed, they both looked like new born kittens waking up from a nap and both men’s hearts ached from the cuteness. “Brats” Levi began, “did y’all have a big day.” Armin whined and Eren closed his eyes tightly, “Hungry” was all Levi and Erwin got out of them. They told them they’d cook dinner, come get them, and then they’d all watch the _Prince of Egypt_. After they left, Armin snuggled up to Eren as they tried to shake the heaviness of sleep off of them. Eren pressed a tender kiss to Armin’s temple, “I’m going to miss you.” Armin burrowed deeper, “I’m going to miss you, Eren.” Eren kissed his temple again, “Think they’d let us all sleep in the same bed till we leave?” Armin snickered, “Let us? Do you honestly think they have a choice? We run this show.” Eren laughed as Armin pressed himself closer, committing Eren’s laugh to memory. They wore the pants in these relationships and they knew it. 


	29. The Letter

Eren’s hands were sweaty, “Don’t freak out so much.” His whole body was sweaty in his nicely cut Armani suit. Jean wiped his forehead for him with a clean rag, “I’m the one who should be freaking out.” Eren moved towards Jean grabbing him around the waist, “Don’t leave me” he whined. Jean signed rubbing Eren’s back and massaging him, “I won’t leave till you go inside. I’ve got my review in an hour.” Eren knew Jean would be cutting it close for his sake, “Thank you, Kirschy.” Today was the day Eren met with the head of the vet school. Dr. Grove was going to make or break him. Jean’s review was also that day and his painting had been packed away safely in the car that morning by Marco before he handed him his lunch and kissed him good luck.

Eren pulled away, “I hope you do well today.” Jean rolled his eyes, “Well, the last three reviews haven’t gone as I’ve expected so don’t get your hopes up. Tina said I’ll be fine but…I don’t know.” Eren sat down pulling Jean in his lap, “But, you’ve been working non-stop these last three days on it.” Jean grimaced, “Uhhh not really. I had to just…stop putting paint on the canvas or I’d work it to death. So, I churned out a completely different set of paintings alongside it. Not related and just for fun, but I was really inspired.” Eren nodded, holding on to Jean tightly, “I think that if we get in, we should throw a massive party.” Jean smirked, “A going away slash we are the champions’ party.” Eren’s eyes widened, “Champion Party.” 

Eren released Jean, “Go on, spread your talent and make them weep.” Jean rolled his eyes, “Whatever, maniac.” As Jean walked outside he took a detour behind the building. Through the bushes he crawled until he reached a large window. A woman of about 50 was letting Eren and he watched as he nervously sat. He seemed to listen to her short speech or introduction and to his glee Eren eventually cut the nervous act and burst forward into sincere likability. Jean shook his head to himself, _idiot._ He got up carrying his canvas to the art building for review.

Once inside Krista was waiting in the hallway before her review, “Hey, Jean! I was talking to Ymir and I think we’re going to have a get together this weekend. Would you and Marco like to come?” Jean repressed his urge to vomit from her chipper voice, “Actually, I’m probably gunna chill with Marco and my friends before they leave.” Krista smiled brightly, “Where are they going?” Jean shuddered as she leaned over placing her elbows on her knees and gave him the sickest smile that was supposed to warm his heart and bright his cheek. It failed, “France.” Krista’s face fell, “Oh…Europe’s kind of a scary place right now.” _Yeah, no shit. What else generic NPR Fox news shit are you going to regurgitate. Gosh what is with this chick? Why do I feel like she’s going to eat my heart out like a succubus if given the chance?_ “Yeah.” Was all he managed till she was called inside.

Sitting in the waiting area he could hear vague sounds of appreciation and praise over her work. He picked at the bag he carried his paintings in that was water resistant, flame retardant, and Eren retardant. The hour passed and he felt nauseous. Marco texted him promising him it would work out. He’d been working so much at the coffee shop that Jean had been complaining about their lack of time together which wasn’t fair to him. He needed to make an effort to shut up every once in a while. “Jean Kirschstein?” a woman’s voice from inside the room called as Krista bowed out smiling at him.

He entered the room seeing the familiar faces with two impartial judges from the museum in Atlanta, “Let’s see it, boy! You’re gunna have to wow us after a full day of masterpieces.” He wanted to walk up and punch that mother fucker in the face. What a cocky ass bastard to say such. Even if it was true, who does that? Jean clenched his jaw opening the zipper and revealing his painting. When Jean didn’t place the canvas on the easel, one of the men from Atlanta spoke, “Is everything okay, Mr. Kirschstein?” No, no everything was absolutely fucked. This was the wrong painting. _I just have to show it…I don’t have a choice._ Jean pulled the painting out leaning it up and closed his eyes accepting that all his hard work had been for naught and he’d never win and never get in to the school’s elite program.

The silence spoke volumes. He opened his eyes, finding a place on the floor to stare before he heard the same man who’d talked about the other masterpieces give a small, “oh.” Jean met his gaze, “Oh, that is really something. I think we’ve got a winner.” The kind man from Atlanta smiled and started clapping and so did the others. Jean didn’t understand, “But, it’s not that good…” The man smiled, “You’re right. It’s marvelous. This is so fresh. What inspired this?” Jean looked to the painting.

Armin was resplendent; his alabaster skin had a thin sheen from sweat as his naked torso and body glistened in the sunlight. He was standing, hips turned away hiding his sex towards the crowds at the Olympic Games in Greece. His nude form made him look like a young and up-and-coming God; Achilles in the flesh. His pink lips were parted with a slight smirk to them wrinkling the skin around his eyes and making his look more like the human embodiment of a fox. He held a spear in his hand. His muscles were contracted as he walked by the other figure. Eren, whose head was ducked down a bit, eyes looking up at Armin as he walked past him, chest and hips to the audience and tan skin like that of baked almonds, gave him a smug and teasing look. He held a spear as well, sandals laced to his knees. There was such electricity between the two demi Gods as one looked at the scene before them: two rivals, perhaps lovers, friends, enemies, competing in the Games and only concerned with each other and not the fans before them or the eyes on them. Jean had been inspired by Achilles and Patroclus, by Erwin’s words that night he’d walked in thinking he’d asked him to wed him.

”I…know them…in real life. These…two demi Gods whose relationship is so complex and beautiful that I am often swept up in the passion of it all….the rivalry, the love, the friendship. This is what inspired me. It’s really just that simple. I’m sorry I don’t have some other huge explanation. I guess you could say that Achilles and Patroclus are represented here and I’d never thought about them in that way until three days ago.” The man from Atlanta pursed his lips, “You painted this recently?” Jean grimaced. He rubbed the back of his neck, “Yeah…about three days ago on a tangent. I brought the wrong canvas and I’m proud of all of my work but I feel like I could have improved it and its sister painting.” The man raised an eyebrow, “Jean, I want this for the museum and I want to see that sister painting. This, this mistake, has probably been the best mistake of your life.” 

********************

Eren drove to the dog park where Levi had taken Donner. He trudged through the forest trail running along the path as the sun started its descent into the hills and he looked at the grass, tall and uncut, his fingers easily felt the tops graze over them. He kicked his heels up running like a child, sprinting towards an endless summer of possibility and leaving behind a spring of new beginnings. He wanted to commemorate it somehow, in some small way the year that had changed his life forever. He went off the path into the valley between the hills and soared past low lying shrubs in the golden light. He was free and the birds sang in delight as he ran past down to the water of the lake nearby where people could fish or take their small boats and kayaks out. He fell down in the grass with a thud. The world was loud, the world was bright. The world was raw, like a fruit begging to be plucked from the tree. How sweet was the taste.>

Armin’s name flashed on the screen of Levi’s phone, “Armin?” Armin was out of breath, “Where are you?” Levi poured water into the dish for Donner, “Kiesel Dog Park. Why?” Armin was still out of breath, “A letter came. I got a phone call, too. Two actually.” Levi’s brow wrinkled, “What about?” Armin sat against the wall in the shower of the downstairs powder room on the floor. “Oh, you know, normal shit. Like…Jamal Al-din is the leader of the Wall, he wants Erwin to join them and finance them, and he’s now threatening to kill me if I don’t help him get Erwin to do so, and here’s the kicker he wants me to kill you and you’re possibly a double agent or spy. It’s like…can we sell this shit to a soap opera show? I think this would really be a hit.” Levi wanted to vomit, “Armin! It’s….it’s not…” Armin sighed, “If I thought what you think I think then I’d not have made you my first phone, Levi. I would have called Erwin or called you to tell you to come home and I would have just killed you to make sure that you didn’t hurt Erwin. Let’s not mince words. I want you to tell me what’s going on and I’ll keep this all to myself. But we need to talk, Levi. We need to talk now, in person, alone. I’m not holding it together very well.” 

Levi understood. He scratched Donner behind the ears, “Twenty minutes, opening of the Nature Preserve.” He hung up and started walking shooting off a text to Eren, “Gotta leave the park and run an important errand.” He put the phone in his pocket and then felt it vibrate, “I’m here, wait at the dog gate.” Levi was worried, how was he going to shake Eren? Sure enough Eren’s bouncing brunet locks could be seen only about 20 yards away.

He was smiling ear to ear and Levi couldn’t help but smile to himself, “Levi!” Eren exclaimed leaping up into Levi’s soon outstretched arms, wrapping his legs around his waist and kissing him, “I got in. I got in and I’m going to be almost a year ahead, Captain. Did I make you proud?” Levi smiled brightly, “Very proud, brat.” Eren kissed Levi while the sun started to set, only an hour or so more of sunlight left in the day. “Where are you going? Can I come?” It broke Levi’s heart to say no, “No, it’s something I have to do alone. But, when I get back to the house I’ll make it up to you.” Eren whimpered and whined but regardless he let Levi go on to his car following behind him petting Donner and watching the wiggle of his tail between the tall stalks of green grass.

“Can I have a party? I need to check that Jean got his scholarship but a going away- congratulations party would be fun.” Levi snorted, “Whatever you want, kid. Just know you’ll be in charge of clean up. Tonight?” He really hoped not, “No, like…Sunday. We can sleep it off Monday morning and then it’ll help us get on Paris time.” Levi rolled his eyes, “GMT+1 you mean? Paris time….act like you have some learning.” Eren burst into laughter, “I’ll try’n’act like I do, Leevei.” He got into his Porsche, “Come here.” He drug Levi by his collar through the window kissed him again, “I love you. I’m so excited.” Levi smoothed Eren’s hair back looking deeply into his eyes, “I love you, too, more than anything.” He gave the window a few swift hits before pushing off and walking to his car, Donner standing out like black smoke. Eren pulled out before him and he headed to the nature preserve.

Armin was against his Volkswagen when Levi pulled up. They walked along the path deep into the woods. The park was open full time but as a precaution people rarely went in when it was dark unless there was a special night even being held and the paths clearly marked. Armin was silent and drained looking. They approached the small pond for fishing with its pier on the water out till about midway. When they were on the water Armin sighed, his shoulder’s sagging, “You know I’m not 19, right?” Levi wasn’t expecting that to be the first thing out of his mouth nor was he expecting that to be the case, “No, I….I thought you were 19 like Eren.” Armin closed his eyes, “No, I’m younger than everyone. I was 17 till November 3rd. The first phone call I got today was my father screeching at me over the phone about how I wasn’t going to leave the country by any means and that he was pulling me out of school. When I told him that it was pointless, because as an 18 year old I am adult, it’s just when it comes to certain aspects that the age of 19 comes in to play, he’d be wasting his time on a technicality that really only determines if I can buy cigarettes and get prescription antibiotics. He can’t pull me from school because everything is paid for through the school. He then said he’d put a warrant out for Erwin’s arrest if he tried to take me out of the country and already has things in the works to make sure something happens to him. He does have friends in high places. Most annoying conservative hate mongrels do. It’s been an ordeal.” 

Levi put it together, the palled expression and sluggish speech, “You hurt yourself. You’ve lost a lot of blood. That’s why you’re so lethargic.” Armin shrugged, “They really just wreck me when they want to. I feel shitty enough about it. Then I get this call from an unknown number, but you know sometimes Eren loses his phone and calls from payphones, how he finds a payphone I’ll never understand, and I thought well…might be Eren. I answer it and I’m told to go to the front door where this girl is standing and when I open the door she hands me this letter,” he takes the letter out, it’s in a Ziploc bag with the letter facing the clear plastic to be easily read, “and it’s a formal invitation to enter into The Wall as an informant.” 

Levi read the letter carefully, “You’re to encourage Erwin to take a trip to Turkey and or Israel where you two would meet another informant. If you don’t they will kill you and harm Erwin. If you kill me, then you’ll be given your own cell to control and be elevated highly in the ranks. This isn’t that bad of a deal, I guess.” Armin looked at the fish as they came to towards the surface of the water, pale grey and the occasional orange from koi being transplanted in a last ditch attempt to save them when the water at the fisheries became tainted do to run off a few years earlier. It had made national news when they saved the fish and discovered a new way to purify run off and lakes or other bodies of water affected. Maria University was truly a school of rare talent and hotbed radicals. 

Armin swayed slightly, “If I die,” he whispered, “would Erwin be alright? He’d make it, right? I just don’t want to have to worry that if I don’t find a solution or if it’s easier for me to just be shot or go alone that he’d be okay.” Levi tucked the letter away in his pocket, “He’d be destroyed. Never say that again.” Armin looked to Levi, “Do you regret the choices you’ve made, the ones that led us here?” Levi’s stoic face betrayed nothing, “You have to make the choice with the least amount of regrets. A choice with no regrets because you’ve thought it out that far and weighed the pros and cons. There is no guarantee that everything is going to work out the way you want and there is no guarantee every choice will be the best one. So non, je ne regrette rien. I don’t regret it at all.” Armin nodded playing with the strands of his yellow fringed cardigan. 

“Shabbak,” Armin whispered, “I prefer Shin Bet, though. Call me old fashioned. That’s who you work for. Why were you assigned to Erwin?” Levi seemed like an emotionless statue, “Because of who his father was. I’m supposed to be his body guard now. In the beginning I was to make him to trust me and tell me where Jamal was and as you know, he knew nothing.” Armin chewed his lip, “Why do they want him?” Levi closed his eyes, “Money and his mother is rumored to have captured the heart of Jamal al Din. But that’s insane to me. She was a staunch Zionist and they often clashed but his friendship with Erwin’s father, a more neutral political figure who believed whole heartedly in the two state solution, consistently brought them together in situations and despite their deep ideological differences people say Jamal couldn’t shake his respect of her. He was very interested in her pregnancy from what has been found out and had a soft spot for Erwin. Erwin has mentioned to me an uncle of some sort in his early childhood and I’ve always remained convinced it was Jamal. He kept his contact limited even though he was at the university.”

Armin leaned on the railing, “Erwin told me he was privately schooled till high school by his father. Was that also a way of keeping him close and out of the way from what’s been going on at the school? His father must have known things were going on. Maybe his “uncle” went by a fake name?” Levi hummed, “I’ve been thinking that too as of late.” The water rippled as some creature entered, “Do you trust me, Armin?” Armin’s eyes glanced over him before returning to the water, “The question is, do you trust me, Levi?” Levi’s jaw tightened, “Why wouldn’t I?” Armin sighed looking him in the eye before slowly saying, “I trust you and your reasons for all your secrets and lies.” 

Levi’s gave him a quizzical look, “You know my secrets?” Armin merely glanced him, he looked bored by the question. Levi’s mind worked overtime trying to figure it all out, “This is how you survive. You deal in secrets and intelligence.” Armin rubbed his hands together, the darkness overshadowing the forest and making it cooler, “I do. Secrets are all the coin a skinny kid at twelve has to deal in. Make no mistake, I trust no one fully. I do it to everyone, Levi. It’s not personal, no, far from it. I check all the nooks and crannies for little specks of dust that I can gather up for future use. I use it to protect myself and those I care about. I can care about you, trust you to an amazing extent, but I’m always ready for the end, I’m always ready for the fight that ends it all. This power secrets give me is the uranium ore of my atomic bomb.” His face was sorrowful and Levi had never felt for him as intensely as he did then.

For Levi, this was the very part of Armin that resembled Erwin the most. He wasn’t resigned to the end but information, secrets, manipulation, protection, and walking the tight rope between the hangman’s noose and executioner’s blade deftly with desired results in threefold. Levi walked forward, his face studying Armin’s in every minute detail. He cupped the sides of his face, smoothing the longer hair back from his bangs. Armin seemed to understand him, another thing that made him like him so much more. He leaned down but Armin tensed up, he whispered, tone serious, “Don’t worry, it’s not that kind of kiss” before he kissed him. It wasn’t sensual, sexual; it was comforting and said what he needed to say like he’d done in the parking garage. He was glad that he could be like this with someone else in his life. _We are a family, aren’t we?_ Erwin’s words echoed. He pulled away, “Let’s go.” 

When they got back to the house they managed to sneak away into the bathroom of the office. Levi had brought him there to inspect the damage, “Where did you hurt yourself?” Armin’s eyes were hooded from how tired he was. “Levi…” Levi opened the first aid kit, “He’s going to see it and freak out, shitty brat.” Armin was wearing a long sleeved yellow cardigan with fringe, grey tank top, and short faded jean shorts. He expected it to be on his arm but when Armin took off his shorts he saw the wrapping on the top of his thigh. He unwrapped the bandage, shocked at the deep red gashes, clean and precise. He must have bled a lot. “Armin, how are you not scarred up everywhere?” Armin stared at the shower, “I just don’t scare, really. I have some but I’m so pale they don’t really appear unless I’m really tan. But, Eren hates to see them so I make sure to lather the sun screen on. My throat,” He got choked up and Levi took the opportunity apply some sanitizer though he knew Armin had cleaned himself, “is where the worst are. You’ve starred once or twice after we told you. I catch you. Dr. Jaeger gave me some really strong bio oil and some other top of the line scar erasers. Eren…” He hissed after the numbing agent had been injected and Levi threaded stitches, “put the crèmes and oils on me every night.”

Levi’s eyes twitched, _that sounds like him,_ his lips parted, “These are deep. These two need stitches. You could have bled to death, shitty brat. Who would have found you?” Levi cringed, _Eren or Erwin…I don’t know which would be worse._ “Why, Armin? Why this bad?” Armin wiped a few thick tears away, “I didn’t cut as deep as my father’s words. He said it’d never last. Erwin would get tired of me. He’d leave me. He said Eren would do the same. They barely know me but lethal. I learned from the best.” He wiped more tears as Levi started to finish the last stitch, “He’s too good for me. I don’t deserve it.” Levi knew the feeling well, “Yeah, I feel like that all the time. I feel like that with Eren.” Armin inhaled, “Yes, God yes, Eren is too good for me. Jean is too good. It’s all too good. Look at how we live? In glamorous luxury with promising futures and secure fields because of money and power, God, how sick. I don’t even feel like this is my skin anymore. I feel diamond hard and gold dusted. Undeaneath, I’m tarnished bronze and patina green.” Levi gave the last stitch a ghost of a kiss with his lips.

He snorted, “What am I, you poet?” Armin stared ahead, “Chrome sleek and gun metal black. Underneath, you’re stronger than obsidian and fluid like charcoal colored smoke. I wish you knew how appealing you were to the eye. You’re everything Eren could never resist and for that I am glad. Are you going to marry him?” Levi stood up, “Who said that?’ Armin shrugged, “No one, I just wanted to know.” Levi set his poker face, “One day, maybe. I need to think about it. When your parents called, did they say why?” Armin looked green; he pulled his shorts back on over the now stitched and bandaged wound. “Erwin stopped by with you to get my passport. They found out I was leaving and that’s what led to the fight. My grandfather called and left a voicemail telling me that if they call again not to answer. He said he’d given all of my important documents to Erwin when the attack happened and that legally he was still my guardian. They could still press charges for various things, all unfounded, but they’d drag him through the mud. They’d take Erwin’s good name and slander it.” He started to get more emotional, “I’ll never let them hurt him, Levi. I won’t stand for anyone to say anything against Erwin Smith, not him. He’s too good.” 

Levi couldn’t agree more, “That’s what I realized when he took the time to talk to me in the showers in basic. I had avoided him, trying to stave off getting to know him but I’d be damned if he wouldn’t let me get away. He was nice to me, no one liked me. I was too rough, too gangster, too Jewish, too everything. Do me a favor, don’t hurt yourself this bad. I know it’s hard; it’s a habit and disease like alcoholism. The urge will be there. Come find me, stay with me and let me help you calm down. You’re something special, Armin. I’m glad to have you in my life and Eren would be distraught if anything happened to you. Not to mention Erwin, that old ass man.” 

Armin smiled, it was strained but it made Levi feel better. He put the kit away holding the door open for Armin. Armin turned to go to Erwin’s room, “Everyone is downstairs?” Armin stopped walking down the hall, “I’m going to take a nap. I’m just…done right now and I need an hour or two of sleep.” Levi looked at him, “I’m going to get Hanji to prescribe you anti-depressants. Don’t tell Erwin. Until then here,” Levi took Armin into his private study opening a drawer and giving Armin two pills, “Take this, drink a glass of water and sleep. I’ll check on you in two hours.” Armin did as he was told. Levi walked him to Erwin’s room, helping Armin change and tucking him in to bed. Armin was so small in the huge bed fit for Erwin’s large frame. He clutched Erwin’s pillow, “I like to smell him.” Levi nodded brushing strands of hair back from his face, “He smells really good.”

Downstairs Jean regaled the room about how his critique went as Eren followed with his own good news. Erwin was being the good dad type, playing into every flourish with a well place smile, nod, or gasp. Levi entered silent as the night to stand by Marco who was listening for probably the 100th time Jean’s rendition of seconds that turned into hours and scribbling away a short story. Levi had an idea, “Marco, before we leave, I’d like to talk to you alone.” Marco kept writing till he came to the end of his sentence, “Of course, I hope it’s nothing too bad.” Levi gave him the same blank stare, _Always so serious, Levi._ “If anything, I’d welcome something other than the grand and epic retelling of Jean’s success.” Levi snorted, “Why is he so shocked?” Marco’s eyes narrowed as he smirked, “The lovable idiot hasn’t put it together yet but Armin and I overheard his art partner thing or whatever she is talking about how she’s been copying his work, going first, and keeping them both out of the running for things to increase her own chances at floating into the program. I’ve had this feeling about her since I met her and I called Armin the other day to be my witness. We made him come home and work, he became inspired by something Erwin said, took some photos of Eren and Armin sleeping again which is really weird, churned out two magnificent paintings, and then this morning I switched his with one of them and sent him on his merry oblivious way because honestly,” he paused taking a drink of his wine, “there’s nothing I like more than to win and fuck shady bitches up.” Levi howled with laughter causing the other’s to jump and look over at an pleasantly shocked and amused Marco as Levi clutched his sides doubled over laughing and red in the face, “Marco, thank you for that.” 

Jean leapt, “What did he say?” Eren was at his side with the same look of anticipation, “Don’t worry about it, little shits. What do you want to do for your party?” They eventually began planning a party for Sunday evening but the raver they’d hoped for seemed to tone down when they all admitted they really just wanted close friends and of course, baby Mila to come. The party became a cook out of champions with the pool the main feature. After an event was created on facebook and emails, texts, and invitations sent off they all turned to discussions about dinner. 

”Where is Armin?’ Erwin looked around, “He’s taking a nap.” Levi answered opening the fridge looking at his stock of food. He’d worried about leaving the kosher kitchen in the hands of Jean but Marco had learned the rules and would keep him in check. He made lists and tabs just in case. “For how long?’ Erwin sounded concerned, “Almost two hours. I’ll go get him. Go to the store and get veal cutlets, and my special sauce. You know the ingredients I’m talking about. Go.” He pushed pass Erwin tossing him his keys, “But, I want to check on Armin.” Erwin’s pleading tone made him stop, “He’s fine, a little cranky. Go get the stuff and when you get back he’ll be up. He asked me to wake him up, old man. Don’t get jealous.” He tried to throw Erwin off and it worked. He left for the store and would be gone maybe less than 15 minutes. Eren watched him from the foyer as Levi climbed the stairs.

In Erwin’s room, Armin’s cell phone was vibrating on the table. Levi walked over noting Armin’s eyes awake and blood shot, “They keep calling.” Levi looked at the phone, “Turn it off?” Armin closed his eyes, “What if _they_ call me back? I can’t risk it till a few days have passed. I mean…they could always find my new number but that creeps me out even more. Do you think they’ve got someone, you know, in the woods?” Levi carded his fingers through Armin’s hair, “Do you want a secret?” He whispered so low, he was sure Armin couldn’t hear him. “Always…is it a happy secret?” Levi smiled softly, “Yeah,” his breathy reply lingered, “You’re right, I’m going to ask Eren to marry me.” Armin started to cry, “Why cry?” Levi climbed behind him holding him, “Are you gunna take Eren away?” Levi held him tighter, “Never.” Armin sobbed a bit further, “Promise?” Levi bent in on himself further pulling Armin into him, “Promise. I don’t ever want to be without you and Erwin and I’ll never take Eren away from you. I’ll never leave any of you. I need you. I need everyone.” Armin calmed down enough for Levi to let him relax in his arms, “What if they give me a deadline? What if they call and I don’t know what to say?” Levi stroked his face, “Then we deal with it. You tell me immediately. I’ll make it okay, Armin. I’ll make this okay just like Erwin made things okay for me. Please, just have faith in me. I won’t let them hurt you and I won’t let them hurt him.” 

Levi stayed with Armin a few more minutes, “I’m cooking tonight and Erwin will be back with the food any minute. Can you hold it together or should I lie or something else?” Armin sniffled, “What kind of lie would he believe?” Levi snuggled into his back, “Sickness. I’ll say I think you’ve got a bug of some sort and I’ve put you on an antibiotic to be safe but you’re drained because of it and that’s why you’re so tired.” Armin nodded, “’kay.” His voice was so small and timid Levi wanted to scream. Armin’s anxiety was too close to his own, it was stirred by issues he’d been dealing with for seven years and he would never forgive himself for letting Armin be drug into it and in such a fucked up way. “I thought they’d come for Eren.” Armin squirmed around looking him in the eye, “They are. I’m just the first phase. You watch him closer than me and that’s what saves him.” Levi felt his heart clench, “It’s okay, Levi. I watch him too. You can’t watch everyone like that. You’re only human.” Armin smoothed Levi’s brow with his delicate fingers.

Levi enjoyed the cool touch, “I’m so glad to have you in my life.” Armin smiled, “Likewise. Go downstairs. I’ll be there in a second.” Levi got up watching as Armin turned on the light, his eyes were cloudy from the medicine but that would only lend credence to his story. He had texted Hanji and they’d called in a prescription. It should be him his mail box now since Maria had a delivery service. Went by his office pulling some labels for antibiotics he had just in case, Levi was never unprepared for hiding medications after learning the hard way several times, and he walked out as Erwin was setting things up to the mail box. He opened the package took out the pill bottle and slyly added the label. He removed the packet of information and the rest of the identifying labels before sticking them in his car for later disposal.

Erwin was waiting for him, “What’s wrong with Armin?” Eren perked up, “Yeah, what gives?” Levi held the bottle up rattling the pills, “He’s sick. I’ve put him on a strong antibiotic and gave him a shot to boost his system. He’s really drained and tired and he took a nap. Hanji called the medicine in rush. He’ll be down in a second. He needs to eat a good meal and then rest for the next few days.” Erwin’s eye betrayed his concern, “What does he have?” Levi shrugged, “A bug or something. It’s bad but not flu like. Don’t worry so much.” Armin appeared at the opening, “Are those mine?” Levi nodded, “Yeah, two a day: One in the morning and one at night. Drink plenty of water, eat a _full_ meal and get lots of rest. You look horrible.” Armin did look horrible. Erwin and Eren were taken aback at his almost anemic appearance and glassy eyes. “Baby, no.” Armin smiled, eyes rimmed red. “Have you been crying?” Eren’s voice was panicked, “Why were you crying?” Armin shrugged, “I feel bad, Eren. I’m so tired.” Erwin looked even more concerned, “Is this why you were so upset the other day?” Armin nodded and lied, “Yeah, when I feel bad or I’m tired I get really emotional. I just didn’t know I was actually sick. Hold me daddy, please.” Armin shuffled over to Erwin cuddling up into his side and burying his head in his shoulder. Armin could have wept. How was he going to protect Erwin when people could get to them so easily? 

When dinner was ready they all ate at the family table, stories retold for Armin but in a lot less detail and a lot shorter. Armin was paying attention but he was just off. Erwin was unnerved by his zombie like state. He didn’t laugh at things he’d normally laugh at and he picked at his food until Levi told him he’d become extremely ill if he didn’t eat and took the pill in the morning. Eren put his dishes away staying with Armin in the kitchen while he slowly finished his food, feeding it to him sometimes. Erwin pulled Levi to the side in the laundry room, pulling Levi in to his body closely. “What,” his breath tickled Levi’s ear, “is really going on?” Levi gave him an un-amused look, “Armin’s sick. He feels like shit, called me while I was at the park waiting on Eren to finish his interview. He was at the nature preserve and passed out. I told Eren I had to run an errand so as no to worry him. When I got there I stayed with him till he was recovered enough to drive and come back to the house. I did an examination and he fit the bill for a type of summer fever that hits every year, a few random cases pop up, lasts about three days to a week at most.”Levi pushed Erwin away and past him out of the laundry room with a sneer on his face to hide his real feelings. He went into the living room to sit at the piano. He played a rendition of the Elvenkönig by Lists. Lists always made him feel like he was destroying and rebuilding the world. He just hoped it was for the better and not the worst.


	30. aleph, shin, beit

That night Armin went back to bed before everyone else. He was so tired, ashamed really, and concerned about what the outcome would be when Erwin found out. He heard the door open, “Armin?” Eren’s voice was quiet, “Are you okay?” Armin moved over, “Yeah, what are you doing?” Eren shuffled forward, “Getting in bed.” Eren slid in next to Armin, “What’s wrong, Arm. Are you really sick?” Armin cuddled up to Eren, “Yeah. Don’t worry. Levi will take care of it and I’ll be fine.” Eren wrapped his arms around him, “My parents don’t want me to go with Levi.” Armin shifted, “Why?”

Eren told him they said it wasn’t safe and it was too much for him to be doing at 19. His mother then said if he had to go then he needed to use that time to talk to Levi about coming to know the lord and maybe showing him around her family’s home town in Turkey and the cathedral Eren was baptized in would be the perfect way to do so. But, Eren didn’t want to do that. He wanted to tell them he was converting but then, like many his age, he struggled with the “why?” Why should he have to “come out” to his parents about his life and his religion? He should just be able to live and speak freely without worry. Of course, he wanted to be respectful to his mother and father but he also didn’t want to fight with them about their religious differences. 

Armin listened intently while his body ached for Erwin’s touch, his comfort. Eren was morphine but Erwin was the cure. Eren talked more about the upcoming trip and how much he’d miss him for that month till he came to France and they could see them on the weekends. Armin’s mind was spinning, “You’re thinking about taking Levi to Turkey?” Eren paused, “Um, I don’t know.” Armin pressed the matter, “I think that might be cool. He’d love to learn more about you.” He had to be careful, “I bet Erwin would like to check it out, too. You know, he mentioned we’d maybe travel all around in July.” Armin held his breath as Eren soaked it in, “Yeah, actually, that’s a really good idea. I want to go to Israel too so what if we did something like a little trip to Turkey one weekend and them before y’all leave we end in Israel?” Armin felt like he was choking, choking on smoke, “Yeah! That’s something to think about. You should bring it up with Levi when y’all get settled in France and know your schedules.” 

Armin hoped he’d just let them go to sleep. Eren’s fingers played with his hair, comforting him and lulling him to sleep. After a while the door opened. “Just as I thought. Looks like you’ll be sleeping in here with me, Lee.” Erwin and Levi moved in slowly going through the motions of getting ready to sleep. They brushed their teeth, changed, and climbed in. Levi didn’t get in behind Eren like he normally did. Instead, he crawled in behind Armin and Erwin stood, slightly confused until he seemed to understand. He crawled in after Levi wrapping his arms around him and like that, they all feel asleep. Erwin relished in holding Levi again after so long. He felt special Levi relented and allowed him this pleasure. If only he knew that Levi just wanted to buy them a little more time till he figured out something was really wrong with Armin.

***********************

The next morning Armin was feeling drugged and in pain from his wound. He woke up very early tangled in Eren, his cuts screaming as Eren moved his leg on top of them. His eyes stung with tears but he held back. He extricated himself, crawling over and taking one of the pills. He walked into the bathroom, showering quickly and cleaning the wound, rewrapping it, and then pulling on loose silk lavender pajama plants and a loose pullover that said “this is my wake up face” in black type face. He made his way downstairs, heading Levi’s words that he would get sick if he didn’t eat and he began deciding what to make. He’d not cooked for himself in such a long time he almost feared he’d fail in doing so. 

He fried an egg sunny side up, made bacon strips, and toasted a bagel. He put cheese on it all, effectively making a bacon, egg, and cheese bagel. Erwin had grabbed him strawberry muffins from this high end bakery that was about 45 minutes away in Georgia and he warmed it up. Erwin always did things like that for Armin. He’d buy him the nicest clothes, the nicest books, and best food. He loved that man and how he treasured him. Sitting down, he realized he didn’t want to eat in the kitchen. He wanted to go to the media room, snuggle in blankets, and watch something on the cinema screens. Armin, simply, wanted to be left the fuck alone and that is what began Armin’s “and not a fuck was given” day.

The house being so large was a blessing. He could count on the sound proofing to conceal him and the fact that everyone else would sleep in, make food, talk, and then maybe ask around about him. Armin created a nest of blankets and pillows turning on the screen and shuffling through a preloaded database of movies and shows and then Netflix. He eventually settled on _Breakfast at Tiffany’s_ for his first movie. He laughed, he cried, he said the lines aloud and when it was over he turned it one again and watched it a second time. 

He’d always loved old movies. There was something about Audrey, Marilyn, Grete, and the other greats that captivated him unlike modern actors save a few. He turned on another one, _Gentlemen Prefer Blondes_ , singing along and wondering if Erwin and he were somewhat like Marilyn’s character. She was attempting to marry a man with money because that’s what people want to do, marry for love and safety. Erwin was rich and safe in the most unbiased way he could put it. But, like Marilyn’s character Armin loved him regardless. He wasn’t all that safe, in truth, and if he was poor then all the better because Armin hadn’t grown up rich by any means. There were more than a few times he’d gone hungry thanks to neglectful parents. 

Armin got up to go to the side kitchen. It wasn’t full with as many exotic items but Levi kept it stocked with the basics. He made a sandwich noting that it didn’t really taste like anything. He didn’t really feel much of anything, actually. It was always that way. Mood stabilizers, anti-depressants, hormone injections, they all made him feel sluggish and zombie like. He was slower to react and detached and dissociated most of the time when things got just a little too heated and his body said “shut down and batten the hatches.”

Armin climbed back in his nest letting the credits roll before turning on his favorite movie, _Metropolis_. Somewhere after Maria spoke to the workers he heard the sound of the side door open. He didn’t move. Maybe they’d go away if he ignored them long enough. Heavy footsteps and then the extended couch sank with the weight of Erwin. He smelled like the remnants of sleep and cologne. He had two mugs of coffee and handed Armin one. Armin took it, holding it between cupped hands lowered just below the edge of the blanket and his chin as he watched the figures move on the screen. Erwin didn’t talk, he just watched the movie.

When the movie was over Armin went back to the menu to look for another one to watch. Erwin shifted on the couch to get more comfortable but his curiosity must have gotten the best of him, “Why’d you come down here without saying anything?” Armin chose _Gone With the Wind_ , “Because I want to be alone.” Erwin’s internal gage spiked and he took a good hard look at Armin. “Oh, I…” Armin had finished his coffee, leaning his head on the pillow he’d propped up on the side of the couch’s rest. Erwin was definitely worried. “Sorry” was all he said and he sat through the first half of the movie till intermission pouring over every detail of the previous day trying to figure out what had happened to his sweet boy.

At intermission he went upstairs taking the dirty dishes while Armin went to the bathroom to clean up and stretch. Erwin came upstairs, listening to the sounds of Eren telling Levi about anything and everything. Erwin put the dishes down and went upstairs. He checked Armin’s medication and everything checked out. Or, at least, appeared to check out. Erwin carried it into the bathroom where Armin had plugged his phone up to charge it. He wasn’t the type of person to go through, oh who was he kidding? He picked the phone up, noting that it didn’t have a pass code so he swiped across the screen looking at the home screen. 

After looking through text messages he found nothing of note other than his own ego being stroked at the things he’d said about him to Marco and Eren. He opened the call log and found his first clue. 79 missed calls from his father and mother. He scrolled down and then even more interesting was that he missed a call from his opa, before that he called Levi and that matched with Levi’s side of events, and before Levi an unknown number and then his father. Why had Armin answered the unknown number and what had that resulted in? Why were his parents calling him? Had they told him about him asking for their blessing? God, he hoped not. Did Armin not want to be with him anymore because it’s too hard? 

He looked at the bottle, eyes narrowing as he opened the top looking at the pills. He’d seen pills like that before. He checked the label finding a small area that he could pull back. Painstakingly he removed the false label noting it was anti-depressants. What the hell was going on? He opened his voicemail guessing at the password and was eventually successful. He listened to latest one, his opa, begging him to not pick up when they call and then confirming that they were harassing Armin. He guess from the way Opa Arlert was speaking Armin didn’t know that he had asked for a blessing but that it was him going out of the country that was the real problem for them. The unknown number could have been his parents. That was most likely the case, 

What Erwin could not understand is why Levi would put him on anti-depressants and why he would not have said anything to him. He went through various scenarios of why until a thought came to him. Armin and Levi had snuck away when they first arrived. Where had they gone? He started going through the bathroom and upon finding at the bottom of the trash, yes most would not dig through trash but since they rarely through anything disgusting away in it he gave it a shot. He found the smoking gun, a bloodied bandage that had Levi written all over it. Erwin’s angered flared. No, this was not acceptable. If Eren was hurt he would tell him. This wasn’t acceptable.

He was angry, angrier than he’d been in a long time. It took a lot to piss him off and it had been building ever since Molbit’s accusations, the knowledge Armin’s parents hadn’t even asked about him ever, the reaction they had to him the other day, and then Armin’s cool comment about wanting to be alone. Erwin was fighting mad and he was hurt. He was hurt that Armin had kept something from him like this but more angry that Levi had facilitated it.

He left the room, took the stairs down to the foyer and then came in the living room. Eren looked up, perplexed at Erwin’s swift and determined manner. Levi was off the couch in no time. Eren felt the tension rise and then it happened. Erwin took Levi down and they started fighting, really fighting. For Eren, it was all in slow motion. He needed to separate them, make them see reason, but he also saw that this needed to burn itself out like when Jean and he used to fight. Something deeper was going on.

Eren cringed as Erwin and Levi fought viciously. He wasn’t sure if this would end in a trip to the hospital or the grave. Levi eventually flipped Erwin over on his back, taking a cheap shot at his arm that debilitated him. “Why” he gritted out, “are you doing this?” Erwin flushed even redder, he spat in Levi’s face, “If he was hurt I would have told you.” Erwin growled as Levi tried to catch him off guard, Erwin hissed, “Who the fuck do you think you are?” He broke away punching Levi hard in the jaw. Levi rolled away cupping his face and spitting out blood, “We didn’t want to tell you yesterday when it had happened. I told him I’d buy him time. That was a mistake but it’s for him to tell you.” Levi panicked when Erwin pinned him on his back. “ _We_ , WE didn’t want to tell you. Why would you not want to tell me, HUH?” They struggled more until Erwin grabbed a decorative paper weight of hard stone off the coffee table. Eren sprung forward ready to end this. Levi laughed bitterly, “You _would_ **kill** me,” he shook with laughter and strain from holding Erwin’s arm above him, “with a rock like _**Cain**_. I thought you were always _**Abel**_?” Erwin dropped the stone to the floor getting up and standing over Levi who laid on his back never breaking eye contact with him as he tried to catch his breath.

Erwin moved to the side and walked along the length of the entertainment system on that half of the room, “What are you lying to me about, Levi?” Levi stayed on the floor, he tch’ed, “Why do you insist on accusing me of that every time something happens? Get the fuck over yourself.” Levi yelled sitting up and holding his bruised jaw, “He was hurt, I helped him, he was supposed to tell you. If it had been Eren, yes, I would have been mad too but I’d not have gone and punched someone.” Erwin’s eyes narrowed, “Just slit their throat, right?” Levi flushed red, “That was low,” he growled as Erwin strode forward, “Get out of my face, goy. You need to reflect.” Erwin moved forward to start the fight again before Eren stepped between them, “You’ve already hit each other. You should talk to Armin now.” He was ready to get involved with Erwin if he came at Levi again. Eren was acutely aware that this was moving into old wounds and hurt feelings. Erwin gave him a stern look before backing down. “Molbit, tapes, upstairs in my safe. Think about it.” Erwin went to the door to head downstairs to the media room leaving them in the large living room. 

Eren turned to face Levi, “Don’t ask shitty questions.” Eren’s eyes narrowed in anger, “Don’t fucking tell me what to do. What’s the combination?’ Levi didn’t answer, “I’ll go ask him if you don’t tell me. I want to hear those tapes and I want you to tell me what happened to Armin. I’m holding back going and asking him myself. Don’t push me.” Levi reluctantly moved towards the hallway, how was he going to get out of this?

They listened to the tapes as Eren paced back and forth, “So, Erwin believes you’re hiding something from him and possible working for someone. He’s not sure what side you’re really on and this incident reminded him how much he trusts you, relies on you, and how afraid he is you’re actually going to be the one to hurt him. Okay.” Levi watched Eren intently, “Well, aren’t you going to ask?” Eren started folding some of Armin’s clean clothes in the basket, “Ask you what?” Levi continued to watch, “If I’m actually a mole or double agent?” Eren finished stacking the clothes and went to put them in their closet. He started tidying up the room as well, “Well, obviously you are working for someone.” He said it so nonchalantly he almost didn’t understand. “Levi, are you going to hurt us?” Levi shook his head, swimming with thoughts, “Hurt us?” Eren nodded folding a throw blanket and setting it on the bed, “Are you just using Erwin, Armin, and I?” Levi’s felt like he’d been slammed to the floor and the breath knocked out of him again like downstairs, “You think I’ve been faking my love for you?” Levi reeled, “You think I’ve been faking how much I care for you, for Erwin?! If I was in it to hurt you all I’d have already done it sooner and then be living my “real” life out there sitting on piles of cash or whatever!” 

Eren was trying not to lose it, “I have to ask. I have to ask because I’m ready to lie down on the cross for you so how about you start telling me what’s going on or…as much as you can.” Levi held his head in shame, “I’m Erwin’s body guard. He doesn’t know and I don’t want him to hear that and then tune out because I’m NOT with him just because I am assigned to him. I asked for it to be this way so I CAN always be with him. I am a selfish man, with selfish needs.” Eren blinked, “Who do you work for.” Levi kept his head down, “Shin Bet.” Eren choked on air, “W-w-hat? Really?” Levi met his curious stare, “Yes, Armin found out but Erwin can’t. Not yet at least.” Levi told Eren what had happened, leaving a few things out here and there and about the letter. He said Armin had been called and threatened. He knew Armin was smart enough to leave the letter out when he was asked about the call. Eren had told him what Armin had suggested he tell him about the trips to Turkey and Israel. Armin had already revealed a plan to Levi and he was thankful. Eren soaked it all in sitting in the chaise lounge he’d enviously eyed for weeks. 

“Well….what’s the worst that could happen if you tell him? Obviously Armin and I are on your side and after hearing it then he’d understand. I see the issues that he might feel lied to but your relationship wasn’t built on that. Especially after the stories you’ve told me about y’all early days.” Levi frowned, “Let me think about it.” Eren moved to sit by Levi on the bed, “Can I admit something horrible?” Levi continued to stare in his lap, “Yes?” Eren took a deep breath while Levi felt the dread build up, “I think it’s super fucking hot you’re a Shin Bet agent and I know that’s horrible but my soon to be fully Jewish soul is deeply satisfied by this and really turned on.” Levi didn’t move and Eren felt like he’d made this horribly awkward.

It wasn’t really something he should have admitted but this revelation ended up being more positive than negative so it flew out like everything else Eren normally said to Levi. Levi took Eren’s hand, “Let’s go watch TV in our room, brat.” Eren exhaled, “Yes, Sir.” They went to Levi’s room and crawled in to bed with Donner hopping up with them licking Levi’s face and then settling on top of Eren as he ran his fingers through his fur. “Let’s go to Israel together, Eren.” Eren smiled, “I’ll go anywhere with you.” He looked over at Levi whose face was stoic save for the slight upturn of the left corner of his mouth. “Brat.”

*********************

Erwin stewed till the end of the movie in an attempt to formulate his argument. Armin’s eyes drooped as he snuggled under the blankets watching as Scarlett ran down after Rhett begging him to stay. Erwin waited for the credits. He decided he’d not attack this from the angry place of hurt he wanted to. He crawled over the couch to Armin and hovered over him. Armin gave him a side suspicious glance, “Armin,” Erwin began, “Erwin” Armin challenged, “Let’s cut the shit.” Armin didn’t so much as blink. “You’re on anti-depressants.” No response was heard, “How long?” Armin sighed, “Yesterday. I’ll probably stay on them for a while.” Erwin grimaced, “Why?” Armin shrugged, “I think I need to.”

Erwin didn’t know where to go with this, “Are you unhappy?” Armin knitted his brows, “What?” Erwin was confused then, “Are you unhappy here and that’s why you’re depressed?” Armin seemed to understand, “I’m depressed because I have severe abandonment issues, I self harm when I feel out of control, and my parents called and sent me in to a tailspin threatening to drag the man I love through the mud. I’m depressed because I am. It happens. It’s something you live with and I’m telling you that in order for me to get over this low period I need to suck it up and take medication. I’m not unhappy with you, this house, and our friends. It’s not like that.” Erwin still pressed, “Did you do something to make Levi put you on depressants.” He wanted to say “Why would you ever hurt yourself? Am I not enough? Do I not love you enough? Could I have done something more to make you feel better and do you not feel protected? “Ask what you want to ask, Erwin.” Armin challenged, his demeanor was like that of a coiled snake prepared to strike, “Where did you hurt yourself and how bad? What did your parents say and who was the unknown number?” 

Armin flushed pink, “You went through my phone?” Erwin didn’t budge, “Yes….and I found the bloody bandage.” Armin removed the blanket, “I don’t even care.” He pulled down the top of his pants over his thighs to his knees, “They made me feel like an utter waste of time and life. They made me feel guilty for being gay, being born, being anything other than what they want and like I said, threatened to hurt you and take you to court for ridiculous reasons. The unknown number was a wrong call.” He lied but Erwin didn’t notice. He looked at the wrapping, “This is a big section.” Armin bit his lip, “You’ll hate me if you look at it.” Erwin pulled the wrapping back. He gasped when he saw the rows of stitches, “Armin” he lamented, “this is horrible! Baby, baby, why didn’t you call?” Armin laid there, “It’s the last thing you think about, Erwin. I’m sorry. I haven’t done it this bad in such a long time. I was stretched thin.” Erwin ghosted his fingers over the stitches. 

”Why did you tell Levi and not me?” Armin squirmed whispering, “Because I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me. I didn’t want you to look at me like you are now. I don’t want pity, I don’t want you to hate me, I just don’t want any of it.” Erwin pulled his pants back up laying down on the couch with him and pulling the blanket back up over Armin. “I’m not disappointed and I don’t pity you anymore than I ever did. Yes, Armin, I pity that you have parents that don’t see what a gem you are, I pity that you’ve been mistreated, I pity that the urge to hurt yourself is a better alternative to you than perhaps lashing out as normal hot heads like Eren and Jean do. I pity the things that have contributed to your uptight, perfectionist, controlling, personality but make no mistake I love you. I love the good, the bad, the ugly. I love it all. You told me you loved my ugliness and even my arm that day at the lake house. Please, please just talk to me.” Tears ran down Armin’s cheek. 

”What happened when you went to get my passport?” Erwin stroked the hair out of his face, “Your grandfather apologized for them being there. I sat and made small talk. When they found out they told me you were not a legal adult and I may or may not have lost my temper asking to the “kindly shut the fuck up” and then I left.” Armin’s eyes sparkled a bit, “You told them to kindly shut the fuck up?” Erwin smirked, “Yeah, but I also told them to either cut ties with you or step up as parents. I told them it was inexcusable that they hadn’t even asked about the attack or made contact with you since then but that it didn’t matter because you were mine now, I had your papers, and I was going to be there for you permanently so they either needed to make peace with that or take their hate somewhere else.” Armin had never felt as touched or proud or defended as he did then. “Erwin, thank you, I love you so much.” Erwin’s finger pulled Armin’s shaky bottom lip down, “How old are you?” Armin ducked below the cover mumbling, “I turned 18 in November on the third. I’m not 19.” Erwin’s eyes widened, “My God, I started pursuing a 17 year old? How sick is that?” Armin moved closer, “You didn’t know!” Erwin looked aghast, “When I….oh God, we fucked! We fucked hardcore before you were legal! That is illegal, Armin! I could go to jail for rape!” He paused thinking of all the things he’d done with and to him and how this legally could come back to bite him if his parents got proof. He then let it sink in, _I want to ask an 18 year old to marry me._ “Armin I am so old.” Armin stroked Erwin’s face, “I like older men,” he teased lightly looking at Erwin’s long lashes, “So, you’ve got me now? You’re in charge of this hot mess? You own me?” Erwin chuckled, “I’ve got you, baby.” He chuckled before adding in a serious tone, “Let me take care of you. I can’t take care of you if you don’t let me. Baby, my sweet baby, you’re all I want.” Armin sobbed curling in to Erwin as he stroked his back and hair. Both couples spent the rest of the day with one another, meeting up that night in Levi’s room to go to sleep. 

**********************

The party was pretty chill in Jean’s opinion. Petra and Eld came announcing that they’d bought a house to start a family. Erwin and Levi answered their questions about being home owners and Jean felt really blessed to be living in a mansion with them and rent free. Oulo had started dating a woman named Yvonne, her dark silky skin and large expressive coco colored eyes made her look like a warrior princess. She looked like she could kick everyone’s ass and didn’t really fit with Oulu till Petra told him they’d met at a concert and bonded when Oulu got into a heated conversation about Jazz and Hootie and the Blowfish. They drank beer and talked with Marco about writing since Yvonne ran a publishing company and popular internet newspaper. Marco was shinning like a diamond and Jean felt himself prickle with pride.

Eren was swimming with Mike as Hanji showed Mila off to Sasha. Connie had started flipping the hamburgers while Levi and Erwin spoke. Jean was concerned about Armin who was sitting on one of the couches drinking a glass of orange juice sans alcohol. He walked over plopping down, “Okay, what the hell is going on?” Armin put the drink down. He was wearing a sky blue button up shirt tucked in to white shorts. His hair pulled back in a pony tail and much longer than normal. He looked a lot older, Jean only realizing it from the broadened shoulders and more defined jaw line. He’d noticed similar changes in himself, Eren, and Marco, but they were subtle compared to Armin. Jean was wearing a basic black V-neck with navy blue shorts that had grey skulls embroidered on them. His flip flops were black leather. Armin wore no shoes, his pretty feet on display with French tips on his toes and pale pink on his carefully filed fingers. “I can’t get in the pool. Or rather, I don’t want to get in because I’m not feeling up to it. I hurt myself pretty bad the other day and I have stitches.” 

Jean nodded now that everything made sense, “Why?” Armin smiled sadly before sighing and saying, “My parents and some other things. Levi did me a solid buying me some time to tell Erwin.” Jean took Armin’s hand kissing the back of it, “Arm, I’m sorry. They’re horrible people.” Armin shrugged, “Wolves, really.” Jean smirked, “Who was the girl that gave you the letter?” Armin froze; he couldn’t believe Jean had seen that. No, he couldn’t have, he was at review. “Marco saw her. He’s got some people he wants you to talk to. I’m thinking about going to Italy on my scholarship and Marco will come with me because his dad wants him to meet some people, talk to family, blah, blah, blah. I like it this way. I’m involved but so is Marco. Let us help. This is our family, too, right?” Armin turned to Jean whispering, “Who are these people?” Jean smirked, “They work in intelligence. They are not affiliated with any government body and don’t wish to be but they have a preference for the Bodt family. I’ll leave the details to Marco but if you’re interested let me know and Marco will arrange a talk.” Armin gave Jean a stern look, “I’m interested.” Jean smiled, “And like that, you’re almost back to your old self. I’m here for you and so is Marco.” 

Armin and Jean sat back in the couch cushions while the music and party went on. Eren and Erwin were now in the pool with Connie laughing and swimming while Levi took over the food but not after going to Haniji and taking Mila into his arms. There was absolutely nothing more heart melting that watching Levi Ackermann with a baby. Mila cooed and smiled, laughed and giggled as he held her. She was dressed in Armin’s outfit with a silk pink ribbon in her curly brown hair. Hanji had excitedly told him that that dress had stuck out in their mind and they’d been dying to show it off somewhere. Hanji was a wonderful mother, Mike a proud father, and Levi the happiest uncle in the world. He spoke to her, pretending to eat her little hands when Eren came up. 

Eren smiled down at Mila as she regarded him. She smiled, kicking her hands out. There wasn’t a lot an infant could do but this was enough to melt Eren and Levi and convince them they wanted one. “We could just take her and run, right?’ Eren teased tickling her while Levi held her close, “Shitty glasses could just have another one.” Hanji appeared, “My baby is going home with me. If you want to have her for a sleep over that can be arranged.” Levi smirked, “She’d never want to come home.” Hanji shrugged, “That’s the perk of being an uncle. You’re the fun one. I’d rather her not want to leave you than anyone else.” Hanji grabbed a few chips, “Mazel Tov on your conversion, Eren.” Hanji smiled at him as he blushed, “It-s-s not done yet. I still need a Mikvah.” Hanji nodded, “Still, I’m excited for you.” Hanji gave him another crushing hug, “Take care of grumpy cat here and be sure to live up to the stereotype and nag the shit out of him to move to Boca. Hahahahahhaahha” 

They all ate, talked, and spent time together as friends and a family. That night by the fire pit they gathered for songs and stories. Levi rocked Mila as she slept back and forth in glider he and Eren sat in as Hanji announced that she’d filed paperwork for a new grant and would be partnering with Levi, much to Levi’s amusement. “I wasn’t aware I had agreed or even been asked.” Hanji gave him an “oh-you” look before clapping their hands together, “Well, who else would I partner with?” Levi rolled his eyes before covering Mila more with her blanket. “I’ll be sure to Skype her with you every day, Levi. I would hate for her foundation in French and Hebrew to lessen.” Levi smirked, “Good. Don’t do any more damage to her than necessary till we can set up a Skype schedule.” Eren laid his head on Levi’s shoulder smiling, “You two love each other so much. Be nicer.” Levi tch’ed while Hanji laughed, “Exactly! Eren’s always gotta take up for me.”

While the night went on Erwin joined Armin on the couch, beer in hand and a blanket. “You cold, baby?” Armin nodded looking up to Erwin’s handsome face, his wet hair slicked back, skin golden from swimming in the sun and complimented with his orange cotton short sleeved shirt and khaki shorts, “Yes, daddy.” Erwin wrapped the blanket around him, “You look so pretty today.” Armin smiled, “I try my best to look good for you.” Erwin snorted, “Well, color me flattered. You always look great.” He put his arm around Armin’s shoulders pulling him in closer, leaning down to plant kisses all over Armin’s neck, face, and hair. Armin smiled bigger, shyly ducking his head, “You’d normally giggle.” Erwin whispered, “It’s not proper to giggle in polite company, sir.” Armin tried to deflect. He was feeling better but still not really the same. Erwin hadn’t talked about it with him, telling him that he was there when Armin decided to open up. Erwin smirked biting at the soft skin of Armin’s neck, “Mmm but I love it.” His gruff voice sent shivers down his spine. Armin moved closer to Erwin, giving in and quietly giggling, Armin whispered wantonly, “Mmm I love you.” He moved over searching for Erwin’s lips meeting them and kissed him. 

Clean up went quickly since Levi was an all-throughout-the-party type of cleaner. Eren stayed up late helping while Hanji and Mike put Mila in her car seat finishing up with Petra and Eld. Armin and Erwin were still sitting at the side of the fire when Jean checked on them. Marco and Yvonne had exchanged information. Yvonne’s classy braided Bee Hive fit in the room and gave it a sense of class. Jean enjoyed it and thought about sketching it latter. Her white lace fitted dress was business smart and her legs betrayed themselves as that of an athletes’. What on earth was she doing with Oulu who looked 32 going on 90? Marco would have to fill him on that later. 

They all went back out to the fire pit where Erwin and Armin were quietly speaking. Marco sat down on the opposite couch with a flannel blanket kept out on the porch for early morning coffee and writing, something Jean often watched from inside, hair mused and angry at the world for having woken up but Marco sweet flushed cheeks and cinnamon sprinkled freckles in the early morning light made it worthwhile. Jean felt himself being wrapped in Marco arms, “Babe, Yvonne is amazing. Oulu lucked out.” He snickered, “But, he better play it safe or he might end up in a ditch or on the cover of an internet newspaper for bad taxes or anti-feminist stuff. She is intense. She used to play basketball here at the university.” Jean turned, “That explains her killer legs. How old is she?” Marco bit his lip, “I think she said 36.” Jean laughed, “What?! I was thinking 28!” Marco nodded, “Yeah and Oulu is 32 so that’s not too bad. She’s a very healthy and successful person.” 

Erwin and Armin had been casually listening, “So, when is your trip to Italy?” Jean didn’t honestly remember, “Um June?” Marco rolled his eyes, “June 18th-July 10th. Gosh, thank God I booked everything.” Marco gave Jean a squeeze, “Because you’re hopeless.” Jean huffed, he grumbled “Hopeless but attractive.” Marco smiled, “Yeah, just a pretty face.” Jean pouted, “Heeeey.” Armin moved sitting up, “Marco, prepare to feel the weight I’ve carried for years. Without my guidance Jean and Eren wouldn’t have made it to this ripe old age.” Jean rolled his eyes, “You mean your bitching made us resilient and durable.” Erwin barked with laughter, “It’s not bitching, Jean. Armin’s voice is like a chorus of angels praising life and spreading joy to all who hear it.” Choking noises from Levi could be heard as he and Eren came to sit with Erwin and Armin. Levi winked at Armin unbeknownst to Erwin whose frown was very disapproving. Levi had a 40 while Eren sipped a cup of coffee. “Why coffee?” Jean asked, “I drank too much and I’m trying to prepare for the inevitable.” Erwin shook his head in understanding, “Good idea, truly.” Erwin’s arm wrapped tighter around Armin who snuggled down further, pushing himself within the small confines of Erwin’s protective bubble. He craved him and his touch and Erwin wanted him right under his protective gaze. 

”It’s going to be lonely here after you four leave. It’ll be a rough week.” Marco’s pleasant voice smoothed the tensions everyone was feeling. “Where are you flying out of tomorrow?” Levi looked up, “Atlanta.” Jean rolled his head side to side stretching, “Hey, why don’t you let me and Marco take you? Mom is in Atlanta this week buying.” Erwin had wanted to take them but since Levi hadn’t asked he’d not pushed it, “Sure, what is she buying for?” Jeans mother own a boutique and helped other friends in the industry bulk buy. This was the time to buy Christmas and fall and she’d be racking it up. They all fell into a pleasant conversation till Levi asked Marco to come with him to his office stating he had something Yvonne wanted him to talk to him about. They got their things and went inside the house up to his office.

Levi opened the door pulling out a chair for Marco, “So, I wanted to talk to you about something Erwin and I have discussed doing and we agreed the other night on it finally. We want to write our stories down for various reasons and we want you to be the writer.” Marco’s eyes widened, “Why me?” Levi tsked, “You’re an amazing writer. I also expect you to keep our secrets secret till the book is finished. Not everything needs to be in there word for word but I know we both want this to be as honest as possible.” Marco thought about it for a while before looking around, “How am I supposed to do this when you’re gone?’ Levi closed his eyes, “You’ll obviously have to focus on the bulk of Erwin’s story but I can always Skype with you and then tonight I thought I get the ball rolling to even see if you’re interested. You may not find the topic stimulating.” Marco huffed, “Give me a start.”

Levi clicked the pen against the table, “There is a story, the story of the twenty two letters made by God, forged from fire, ice, and water and it ironically has played a symbolic role in my life. When I was child I was fascinated with Aleph, the first letter. Aleph is very important, it’s the first you learn and its shape always interested me. Formed by two yuds is represents the higher and lower areas of water. The higher water is joy and the lower water is bitterness. To be high means to be closer to God and to be low it means to be further away from him. Then, Aleph lost its wonder when I started to associate the shape with swastikas I saw on newspaper fronts and in the many books my mother read silently, without her husband’s permission, for as you will come to know that he was not my father, at the library in Paris”

“Later in my life, especially when I was in the marines at war and then held hostage and worked to near death, and left every evening standing among the dead, Shin became my favorite for it means “change” and the three headed shin denotes the world now and the four headed symbolizes the world to come. It’s metamorphic and born of fire. The flaming shin is God saying “I have not changed” even thought we are subjected to constant change around us. It is the fire of the Torah that represents the sharpness of learning. I am always learning. I have felt fire inside myself and the Shin, “Flame bound to the coal,” takes on a symbolic meaning to my relationship with Erwin Smith for he is the coal I am bound to. Shin is a very important letter in my life.

And then there is Beit, the second letter and most important in that it is the first letter of the Torah. Its unique shape tells us that all that comes after it is the word and it’s closed off back means that we should never inquire about what came before God created the world. It means “house” and represents “God’s house.” For me personally, though, it represents everything that Erwin Smith is to me. He is my house, he is where I live, where I am protected, where I reside when other places are not appealing. He is the beginning of my world because until I met him my world was dark and I do not wish to inquire or remember the nothing that was before him. In numerology, it correlates to _ta’avah_ which is negatively preceived because it means passion and desire. I desire Erwin Smith, his friendship, his love, his time, and his approval. I admire his passion and the passion I myself see mirrored in him. He is worldly and I often turn from the divine for him. He is the beginning of my world that I have here, with you and Eren and all the others. He is the house where I am building a home. The letters are always there. It’s only at certain time in my life that I realize how the other twenty two come in to play.”

“So, with all of that being said, what would think if I told you that the very man I have come to see as my closest confidant, my best friend, my brother, and my home was only supposed to live till the rip age of 20? What would you think if I told you I was suppose to kill him and have thought about doing so so many times that I’ve used the various inspirations of the act to kill others? What would you think of someone who moved in to a house that was soon to be condemned, fell in love with it even though they were to destroy it, and then had a change of heart and attempted to revive it and save it so they could remain in it? That’s what I’m trying to do. Because I can’t kill Erwin, I can’t kill him anymore than I could destroy the letters. He saved my life. He saved me from the darkness, from the low water. He elevated me and added air to the fire that made my flame bright. He is my salvation, a righteous man and savoir. This is where I want to begin, with him as a fixed point on the horizon, an end goal. I want him to be my homecoming in the house we built with all of our words, words made of letters, letters of life.” Marco regarded Levi carefully. He’d taken shorthand the entire conversation on a small sheet of note paper. “I think this is going to be a fine partnership, Mr. Ackermann.” He smiled devilishly as Levi nodded rocking in his chair and looking to the fire place, “Yes. I think it shall.” 

***********************

The next morning Armin woke up wrapped around Eren like string. He yawned looking at the clock. They had time but since they weren’t going to the airport with them he wanted to spend as much time as possible with Eren. He moved noticing that Eren was awake too. “Shower?” Eren whispered, “Yeah.” They climbed out of bed seeing that their lovers were still asleep tangled in one another’s arms before entering the shower.

Inside the shower they washed and then stood under the rainfall shower heads of Armin and Erwin’s bathroom. Eren came behind Armin holding him and leaning his head on his shoulder. He reached down making soothing circles on his chest down to his thigh where the stitches were. “Armin.” He whispered on his wet skin, “One day, we’re going to be so happy, so utterly happy, that everything will seem so far away and it won’t hurt anymore and you won’t hurt anymore.” Armin shuddered suppressing a sob, “And everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.” His voice croaked hoarse and rough. Armin’s hair cascading around his face heavy with water is moved out of the way by Eren’s tanned and calloused fingers, “And one day, we’ll raise kids together and they’ll be friends and we’ll grow old together and make sure Levi and Erwin take their vitamins and stay young.” Eventually, Eren giggled making Armin giggle as well, “We’ll have to tell them how to dress to stay hip and make sure they don’t kill anyone trying to date our kids.” Eren kissed the crux of Armin’s shoulder and neck, “You’re so beautiful, Arm. It’s amazing.” 

”That he is.” Erwin and Levi entered the shower pushing under the spray and washing while Eren and Armin continued to stand under their own head. Armin caught Erwin staring intently at his wound making him pale in shame. Eren pulled him out of the shower; they dried themselves off, and then went downstairs. “I’ll go see Hannes while you’re gone.” Eren smiled, “Thank you. He’ll be horrible but he’ll appreciate it.” They waited till Levi and Erwin came down, putting on their shoes and then going to get a late lunch. The mood was sad but everyone tried their best to make it okay. Armin held Eren’s hand the entire time and they watched as Erwin and Levi bickered, fighting about little things here and there.

There biggest fight happened at the house before Levi and Eren left. Armin and Jean figured it was about Armin being hurt and the tapes. They also knew that both men were picking a fight to just get mad. If they were mad at each other they wouldn’t miss each other as much. Eren hugged Armin, kissing him, “Love you, I’ll call when we get there.” Armin nodded, holding it together well, “Whatever.” He shrugged but Eren just gave him a small knowing smile. He wiped his face, “God, I’m so excited but I feel like I’m leaving a piece of myself behind.” Armin laughed, “I’ll send you updates of Commander and his adventures.” Eren laughed loudly, “You better!” They hugged and then parted. 

Armin felt Erwin’s arms wrap around him, “You can cry, baby, its okay.” Armin cried and cried as Erwin took them in to the living room to sit. “It’ll only be a month and then we’ll see them. Come on, let me love on you.” Erwin held Armin in his arms on his lap, “Love on me, daddy,” his tiny voice pitiful as he turned his face into Erwin’s chest, fists clutching the fabric of his shirt. He didn’t want to admit that with Levi gone, he felt even more afraid that they’d come to kidnap them or kill them in their sleep.


	31. Bang, Bang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> English translation at the end.

**Erwin’s observations the first two weeks.**

Armin is completely listless. He barely smiles, everything makes him cry. His mood is morose at best. I’m pretty sure he stood in front of the fridge for about 20 minutes looking at Levi’s handwriting before turning to me and saying in the most pitiful voice, “kosher.” Just, “kosher,” nothing more and nothing less looking to me like I understood. I nodded my head, hoping it was what he was looking for, as he left dejected only to later have him stop in front of Eren’s favorite spot on the sofa and say, “his spot” and give me the same look. Needless to say, I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing. 

I came home one day and heard the living room TV on. I’d spent the day with Mike working on designs and helping Hanji out with a few legal things and I just wanted to come home and smother my baby with love. I found him on the couch, in my shirt on covered in Cheetos, Eren’s giant comforter from the dorm draped across him and the couch, and Commander who normally greets me at the door on his chest partly under the blanket meowing loudly at the TV. I noticed Armin was crying and when he saw me he pointed at the screen with this devastated look on his face, “That guy looks like Levi and the dog…the dog….” I turn to see a man that indeed looks like Levi making my heart clench but no dog. “What is this?” Armin pouted his voice high and childish, “World’s Cutest.” We liked to watch that show when we wanted to feel good. Those cute kittens and puppies made me feel warm and fuzzy. Why on earth was he so sad, “Oh?” I then saw that the episode was about German Sheppard breeds and one the groups was about the Black German Sheppard. 

As soon as the father of the litter of pups appeared Commander began crying out and Armin’s silent parade of tears continued. I just…didn’t know what to do to make it better. I was sad, yes. The dog looked like Donner and I’d come to see him as a second extension of myself after all the years with him. I missed Levi severely, too, and I’d done my fair share of pouting and texting. We’d not skyped because he didn’t want to yet and that hurt but I knew better than to press him. But, how do you cheer up your lover and…your cat? I just sat on the couch awkwardly till a commercial came on. “Would you like to watch something else?” Armin looked aghast, “Nooooo.” I was at a loss, “But, Baby, it’s making you sad.” “I know but it’s like…it helps, you know?” “No…I really don’t” “Why?” “I don’t know. When I miss Levi I text him and then just remind myself I’ll see him soon.” “That’s weird. You’re supposed to look at pictures and stuff and grieve. I think you’re being unhealthy.” “Whatever you say, my sweet.” And then we watched about ten more episodes while he “grieved.” 

****************

We haven’t had sex or fooled around. I’m not unaware that couples have lows in their sex life but for Armin this is just unthinkable. He barely wants to kiss and he apologized, saying that he gets this way on the pills. It wrecks his libido or as Jean joked, makes him normal. Armin and Levi have been skyping everyday talking about his mental state. Hanji even conference calls in and they think he can come off in a week. They still want him to take up another hobby or keep talking to them or a therapist. I overheard him, okay I was trying to overhear him, asking if Levi would still keep these daily meetings. They also spoke about a few things I don’t understand but worry me. I think Armin is telling Levi about how he feels in our relationship or something. I’m worried he’s unhappy but I seem to be all he and Levi talk about lately. Through the door his muffled words sound concerned. 

**********************

It’s decided that he stay on the pills and not come off but they switch him over to a new prescription and he improves. I catch him often staring out the windows into the forest looking for something. It puts me on edge. But, he’s not longer crying and he smiles more. When I come in the room he runs to me hugging me and we talk about little things like the news or the weather. I catch him working furiously throughout the day. He says it’s research for a possible book like I suggested. That’s great, I think he should write one, but the subject matter makes me uncomfortable when I see familiar names like Badschi, Gaza, Cairo, and more. It makes me think I’ve thrown my baggage off on him. 

************  
Thanks to the change in medication, we kiss in the morning when we wake up and at night before we fall asleep. I’m glad he’s coming back to me. Levi Skyped me the other day and he looked horrible. He’s holding it together for Eren but they’ve already experienced some issues with security in the city and with the university. Eren isn’t treated well in the lab and Levi has been singled out for being an “Israeli apologist.” His face was bruised anew, remnants of our last spat mixed with others. Eren told Armin he was jumped and Levi went looking for retribution. Things are hard for Levi when he’s a target but even more so when someone comes after Israel or his beloved Eren. Eren, however, is handling him beautifully and that makes me feel better.

It’s hard for us, too. Because, he’s been saying things lately that worry me about whatever this secret is that’s between us. He asks about my childhood more than ever and my uncle. I only vaguely remember him, his worn hands, tan freckled skin, and the way he spoke. It was melodic and hypnotic. His face is obscured, no matter how hard I try to see it I can’t. Maybe he smiles at me and I see a mustache? I know that when he came over, father stopped whatever record he had and switched it to “Bang-Bang.” Levi seemed pleased about these revelations. He asked how Armin was and I told him about the how I find him staring out the windows. Levi’s eyes tightened “Take him somewhere, somewhere nice and distract him. Tell Hannes I said Hallo and that Eren is still cooking and cleaning.” I told him I loved him and he smiled, “I’m glad you do. Je t’aime mon couer.” My heart hurt, I don’t want him to be my enemy.

******************

Later that night as I held Armin in my lap while we painted model panzers in Jean’s studio I thought about Levi’s smirk and how it made me feel this odd sense of nostalgia. It was like I’d always known Levi or had known him in a past life. I wonder if that Levi had originally had a secret and it had driven that Erwin Smith insane as well. Knowing how our relationship is, that Erwin had probably blackmailed that Levi into something and that Levi had wanted to kill him.

Armin’s delicate fingers held the brush with an impressive amount of control paining on the tiny emblems. Jean and Marco were working on their hobbies as well and I’ve been meeting with Marco regularly giving him my story. All this talk about my life and early years has got mind messed up. Sometimes, when I describe things about Levi and my involvement in the Middle east I hear the [song ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69U41WklpbI) father played when my uncle came to visit.

  
“Mi ricordo quando noi  
Eravamo due bambini  
E puntavamo le pistole  
Dai cavalli a dondolo  
Bang, bang  
Io sparo a te bang, bang  
Tu spari a me bang, bang  
E vincerá bang, bang  
Chi al cuore colpirá”  


Perhaps, Levi has already shot me through the heart?

  
“Son passati gli anni e poi  
Noi ci siamo innamorati  
Correvamo per i prati  
Tu scherzavi insieme a me  
Bang, bang per ridere  
Bang, bang sparavi a me  
Bang, bang e vincerá  
Bang, bang chi al cuore colpirá  
Certo non scherzavi tu  
Quando mi sparavi al cuor  
Nel mirar non sbagliavi mai  
Prova a negare se tu puoi  
Ora non mi ami piú  
Ed ho sentito un colpo al cuore  
Quando mi hai detto che  
Non vuoi stare piú con me  
Bang, bang e resto qui  
Bang, bang a piangere  
Bang, bang hai vinto tu  
Bang, bang il cuore non l'ho piú”

Perhaps, our love had always been one sided? I may have just been a convenient distraction for Levi. His affection may be only a product of the PTSD.

  
Quando vedo intorno a me  
Che i bambini giocano  
E poi fingon di sparare  
Come mi si stringe il cuor  
Bang, bang  
Rivedo te bang, bang  
Che spari a me bang, bang  
Quel suono sai bang, bang  
Non lo scorderó mai  


Perhaps, it’s time I search for my uncle and go through my father’s things?

That night I combed through my father’s books I’d kept in containers in the storage room, his papers, clothes, trinkets, pictures of my mother and my childhood. I opened the photo albums and read the letters he’d penned. It was strange pawing through late at night while Armin laid cuddled in the bed rooms away, commander sleeping on the table near him. I felt like this was something predestined to happen as I opened the leather journals my father had kept locked up in his desk drawer. For some reason I’d never read them even though they had always peeked my interest.

Hours went by till the sun was peaking over the horizon. I had found so many things, read so many things, and now I was at a crossroads with what I should do with the information. Was it possible that the man who was my hero, my most beloved role model, wasn’t even my **biological father?**

  
_**Bang, Bang**_  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bang Bang
> 
> I remember when we  
> Were just two kids  
> How we would point our finger guns  
> From our rocking horses
> 
> Bang, Bang  
> I shoot at you bang, bang  
> You shoot at me bang, bang  
> And whoever strikes at the heart  
> Wins bang, bang
> 
> Years passed by and then  
> We fell in love  
> We would run through the meadows  
> And you would joke with me
> 
> Bang, bang just for laughs  
> Bang, Bang you used to shoot at me  
> And whoever strikes at the heart  
> Wins bang, bang
> 
> Of course you weren't joking  
> When you shot at my heart  
> Your shot was never off  
> Take a shot at denying it, if you can
> 
> Now you no longer love me  
> And I felt a shot to the heart  
> When you told me that  
> You don't want to be with me
> 
> Bang, Bang and here I remain  
> Bang, Bang Crying  
> Bang Bang I won  
> Bang Bang I've lost my heart
> 
> Now when I look around  
> And see children playing,  
> Pretending to shoot  
> O how my heart aches
> 
> Bang, Bang  
> I see you one again bang, bang  
> Shooting at me bang, bang  
> You know that sound bang, bang  
> I will never forget it


	32. Eiffel Tower

”Do you have everything?” Armin stopped at the side of the car, “All of your important things in your carry on? Where is your carry on?” Erwin smiled, “All important documents and such are on my person. I also have you. So, regardless if anything else gets lost or doesn’t make it there I’ve got everything I need right with me.” Armin blushed, “Shut up.” Erwin rolled their [luggage](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/a1/6e/80/a16e80cfc1496c7cda2c7fd6e04814c2.jpg) to the back of the car, “Don’t pretend to be shy, Armin.” Erwin sat in the car, “I’m very excited are you?” Armin smiled turning in his seat to take Erwin’s face between his hands. He kissed him multiple times, “Mmmm I am, daddy. Thank you for this, thank you for everything.” Erwin chuckled, “It’s the least I can do. You’ve got your [bag?](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/a1/75/0f/a1750fe35d0c6d28aa06da6a4c30c23b.jpg)” Armin rolled his eyes trying to suppress his smirk, “I do.” His voice trilled, “How do you know my tastes so well?’ Erwin smirked, “Easy. Your taste is “rich.” That’s fine by me because that’s what you deserve.” 

Armin took Erwin’s hand, “You’re too good to me. I do love this bag.” Erwin smiled turning on the car, “Erwin?” He pulled down the driveway slowly, “Hmm?” Armin fiddled with his thumbs, “Does it embarrass you when I dress more feminine?” Erwin was surprised by the question, “What? No? Why? When have I ever said that?” Armin shook his head, “You haven’t but…I sometimes worry that for you I’m too outlandish?” Erwin was really in shock, “Umm… Armin I love that you wear what you want and you could honestly never embarrasses me. Plus, you don’t dress outlandishly or inappropriately. It’s not like drag. It’s subtle and not all the time. I can’t imagine why you’d worry.” Armin looked out the window, “Good, because I know you’re traditional and masculine but I’m not. I like being that way sometimes when I’m in the mood. I thought you liked that I tend to wear whatever I want but I wanted to be sure. I mean…I packed dresses and heels with t-shirts and converse. It’s like a hodge-podge of gendered clothes.” Erwin smiled reaching over to take his hand, “Gender is nothing. I love you, Armin. I love you the way you are.” 

Armin was wearing a cute [outfit](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/5f/fb/33/5ffb33ef4dab66da761f4f20bf10e86c.jpg) of black tights, brown knee high riding boots he could slip on and off at the airport, a loose beige shirt, and fur scarf. It had been unseasonably cool in France according to Eren’s text and the plane would be cold. Armin’s hair had grown longer hitting below his shoulders down his back and his bangs had been trimmed but were wispier that before. He had it pulled back in a pony tail messily. He was pretty enough to be a girl and handsome enough to be a boy. If anything, Erwin was more attracted to him like this. His legs were teasing in the tight fabric. 

They drove to the airport as Armin asked questions about what the flight would be like and what time they’d arrive in Paris. He was so nervous and excited it made Erwin feel with warmth. Once they arrived he bounded out of the car in the long term parking lot, jumping up and down waiting for the trunk to open. “What do you think you’re doing?” Erwin teased. “I’m going to get my luggage?” Erwin shook his head, “No, baby. I’m carrying the luggage. You’re going to look cute and walk beside me.” He winked at the combative look Armin gave him. 

He’d been lax on verbal sparring with Erwin as of late, still too out of it and drained on the pills. They’d now gone a month without sex and Erwin was growing progressively frustrated with the lack of contact. He knew better than to say that to Armin, though. There was nothing he could do about it and he’d already explained to Erwin what the pills did to him. If he were to feel guilty and force himself to have sex with him, Erwin would never forgive himself. He’d take a healthy and happy Armin over his own sexual gratification any day. 

Armin stayed pressed close to Erwin the entire time through security and then once they were at the gate he sat in his lap as they grabbed dinner in the airport. There was a great new bar inside with beer and southern comfort food. Armin and Erwin ate and read their books in quite comfort till an older woman came to sit near them. She gave them a one over and then smiled, leaning in to Armin, “You two together?” Armin smiled, “Yes.” She nodded her head, “What a picture perfect couple. You two should be models. I figure y’all are well read?” Armin grinned, “We read more than we eat.” She laughed, “Good, good. And real books I see, not these nooks and kindles.” Erwin leaned over, “Nothing can replace the smell and feel of a real book. Though, the kindle is really useful for travel. We do own them.” She tsked rolling her eyes in good humor, “Where are y’all going?” Erwin smiled at Armin, “France.” She drank some of her beer, “Honeymoon?” Armin flushed pink, “N-n-ooo, work. He’s getting primary sources for his book he’s writing.”

The lady gave him an impish smile, “You two read and write. History?” Erwin nodded, “I’m doing a book on D-Day. I know, it’s been done to hell and back but I’m following it through the eyes of civilians and soldiers, not just the narrative that is most common of “here is a few famous soldiers and then an old British guy talking about the history of the area for twenty pages that goes over the head of anyone just learning about the incident.”” The woman looked delighted, “My name is Dafna Toulouse. Here is my card and here is the card of my brother, David Toulouse. He owns a bookstore with rare and out of print copies and old documents. He’s also, we’re also, on the historical board for preserving what went on in WWII France. Give him a call and stop by and we’ll see what sources we can get you. I assume your own the search on the behalf of a University?” Erwin smiled taking the cards, “Yes, Maria.” She nodded, “Good school. I met a few of the professors there a number of years ago.”

Armin was interested, “Who did you happen to meet? Do you remember?” Dafna seemed to take some time to ponder, “The dean, a Mr. Smith and another professor named Jamal? Perhaps? It was so long ago.” Erwin looked to Armin, “So then,” he paused searching for the words, “You met my father, Mr. Gabriel Smith. My name is Erwin Smith.” Dafna’s eye widened, “Well, this was just destined to be, wasn’t it?” She laughed good naturedly and they continued speaking until it was time for them to board their respective flights. Armin had his purse and carry on that included a small thermal blanket from Erwin’s days as a marine that promised to keep them both toasty on the flight. 

“These are our seats, Baby.” Erwin and Armin were sitting in two seats on the side of the plane. “Can I have the window? I like to look out.” Erwin, of course, said yes and they sat beginning the flight in relative peace. Armin moved the arm rest up making sure he could settle in to Erwin side as Erwin ordered another beer from the cart and started watching a movie. It was a nine hour flight and they’d be delayed to ten due to some regular maintenance. Armin shifted in the seat pulling at Erwin’s earphones, “Erwin,” Armin’s eyes were wide and innocent, “how awesome was that Dafna thing?” Erwin grinned, _how cute are you right now?_ “It was pretty awesome. I’m trying to place the other professor, though. It’s nagging at me.”

Armin bit his lower lip, “Mmm maybe Jamal was short for something?” Armin was panicky, _I’m pushing too hard._ “Perhaps,” Erwin’s brow furrowed, “Jamal al….something. You might be right, baby. I need to think about it. Regardless, she met my father and said I resembled him.” _That made me feel a lot better._ Armin noted there was something different in Erwin’s demeanor, “Why?” Erwin turned to face Armin, “It’s nothing.” Armin took Erwin’s hand in his own, _no, it’s not._ “It isn’t, though. What’s wrong?” Erwin leaned his head down on Armin’s, “What if my father isn’t my biological father? I found papers that might suggest that, papers about infertility, complicated fertility treatments…my mother wanted a child horribly.”

Armin had known that Erwin was a desired child. There were no others left in the family after various tragedies and fertility had been an issue. Levi had one time, drunk on the back porch when they’d been left alone together while Erwin and Eren were gone working, said that Marilyn meant _Bitterness_ and _wished for child._ He wondered if she was bitter that she had died giving birth to her most wished for child. Levi had been told by a family friend he’d met at one of Erwin’s soirées last year. Marilyn Smith had given birth in the middle of a party for the high society crowd they often chased after as donors. The doctors present figured that the placenta had come lose, she was going into emergency labor, and they couldn’t do a C-section because there wasn’t enough time even without anesthesia. She delivered Erwin on the floor of someone’s home, pulled him from her swollen womb like Thetis herself and cried loudly rocking him as she cursed God that she would die. She wailed curses that he would take her from him, her most wished for and beloved child. Erwin was pure as driven snow and golden as the sun. To her, he was the most beautiful creation that she ever made; no aria would ever eclipse it. She fought death like all humans do who are conscious of it’s cold breath on their neck and like all she failed.

Armin took Erwin’s hand kissing it, “I am glad you are here and I know that she wanted you. Levi told me.” Erwin grimaced. He mumbled to Armin, “You and Levi talk every day now.” Armin bristled knowing that this was going in a tense direction, “Yes, Erwin, we do. But, it’s about where I am mentally.” Erwin stroked Armin’s hand, “No, baby, don’t tell me half of it. You talk about me and I’d rather you-“ Armin took his hand back hissing, “You have no idea what we talk about in regards to you and if you think that I’m talking shit or something then you obviously don’t know me. If we were having a problem then I’d say something. If we’re not right, don’t I always come to you? I know we haven’t had sex in a month, I know that I’ve been awkward and detached, I know. I know and I hate myself for it but there is more going on here, Erwin. More than you’re aware of because it isn’t time for you to know because I don’t have the words yet. I’m not unhappy with you at all, I love you more than anything in this world and I’d be destroyed without you. Living without you is unimaginable and it makes me physically sick.” Armin turned to face the seat, his eyes wet, and lips trembling.

The last thing Erwin had wanted was to make Armin feel bad. He should have known that his lead in would have been obvious to Armin and stir the pot. Why did he do things like this? He threw his arm around Armin, “I apologize.” Armin wouldn’t look at him, “Whatever.” Erwin pressed, “I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have gone there.” Armin pouted, “Mmm it’s whatever.” He put his earphones in turning on the movie function while Erwin pouted, _well, you’ve gone and done it now, Erwin. If you were only a smart man you wouldn’t have ended up here…So stupid. I am so stupid._ They took off and for the next few hours Erwin tried to bribe Armin with sweets and kisses till he fell asleep on his shoulder. Erwin wanted to have a great time but he needed to get to the bottom of everything, too.

*****************

When they arrived, Armin woke with the cutest look of sleep in his eyes. Erwin hoped he’d forgotten he was mad at him leaning over kissing him. “I love you, baby.” “Mimosa.” Leave it to Armin to want champagne when he first landed in Paris. They grabbed their bags and ducked in to the baggage claim area. Charles de Gaulle airport was a hot mess and Erwin enjoyed the look on Armin’s face when they went through the 5x7 room that was for customs. A man had been detained and they were mopping the floor with water stained orange to increase the overall “you don’t want to be here” feeling. There was chicken wire on the walls holding up plaster and a long net at the top of one of the exposed floors that one could take a stair case up to for food in case children ran to jump off. Many had done that before and Armin gasped when told the story. Armin held Erwin’s hand looking for Eren and Levi, “You’re so cute, baby.” Armin gave him a sly look, “I’m still mad.” “Of course you are.” Armin grinned, “I’m going to punish you.” Erwin felt heat pool in his stomach. He really hoped he would.

Just then as they moved forward more into the middle of the room Eren’s shinning eyes could be seen, “Armin!” He ran forward meeting Armin who jumped into his arms hugging him and swinging his legs around him Eren twirled them around, “Armin! I am so happy you’re here! I missed you.” Erwin smiled at the pair but his heart clenched looking for Levi. He felt a tug and then he saw him, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips, “Old man.” Erwin felt his heart flutter, “I missed you.” Levi’s face was harder than normal, still faintly bruised. His hands traced his jaw, “I’ve missed you too, Erwin. Let’s go. We’ve got a lot to talk about and I know you’re hungry. If we’re not careful, those two will run off together and we’ll never see them again. They’re cute enough to make a good living off their looks. Armin looks a girl, a really pretty girl. I had no idea you were in to that.” He smirked. Erwin raised an eyebrow, “I like you, don’t I? You’re very feminine.” Levi rolled his eyes before calling to Eren, “Brat, let’s go. I’m parked in the fire lane.” 

They went to a café near the university where Eren and Levi often came. Armin and Eren took selfies and instagram photos while Erwin and Levi discussed the research. “There’s something about Eren’s blood that I think holds the eye to making it long term or short term. My goal is to have a serum made that can be self administered by the person and it last for a few days to a week. I think that will allow it to be used by soldiers and those who are in areas where they are far from medical facilities like hikers or mountain climbers. It’s just…something isn’t popping out as “hey, I’m the key. Look at me.” I need Marco, too. When will they be in Europe?” Erwin finished his crepe, “June 10th? I honestly don’t remember. I’ll text them.” Levi nodded, “We have an apartment here that you can stay in till we head to Normandy on the 5th.” 

Eren gave Levi a side glance before beginning, “Levi bought an apartment. We…were not being treated well and there was a student couple that needed housing and we gave them the apartment. The staff was split. Some wanted us to stay because we are important and they like us but they thought that that was a very nice thing to do and the others just don’t trust Levi and they think we’ll hole up in the apartment with sensitive data and you know…what paranoid minds usually end up thinking…we’ll become terrorists or something.” Eren drank his water, “Honestly, it hasn’t been all that bad. I really like it here and the people are great, kind, and the night life is insane with open air concerts. It’s just some of the people in academia that seem to be the most uneducated. I’m afraid for what that might mean for the future.” Armin blinked owlishly at Eren, “That was the most elegant and well developed observation I’ve ever heard you give. You sound like a tiny Levi.” Armin smirked as Eren threw his napkin at him, “Shut the fuck up, Armin. I’m not stupid.” Erwin leaned over the table and thumped him in the middle of the head, “You’re just getting older and seeing things like we saw when we came over here. Sometimes the world is just flat out crazy. It makes no sense. But, besides that, I think we need to address that you, Levi, made a huge purchase without telling me. It’s your money, but we have invested equally in properties before so you venturing out is odd.” 

Levi stared into his coffee, “It was too good to pass up.” Erwin nodded, “Where is it?” “The Jewish district.” His eyes were hooded as he stared at the coffee. Erwin was a little taken aback, “Yeah?” Eren blinked moving in to Levi’s rescue, “His old home.” Erwin’s face was painted in shock, “Oh…ohhhh…..then yes, you’d want to own it by yourself. Is it still ultra orthodox only? Or?” Levi cleared his throat, “Mixed bag. Still predominantly ultra but there are young couples breaking out in the other sects and it’s a nice place in need of upkeep to make sure it stands the test of time. It’s actually a popular tourist attraction which I don’t really care for. Eren has become friends with the wife of our neighbor next door so they’re not as picky with who they have contact with like they were when I was growing up.” Armin finished his strawberries off, “Can we see it? I guess we could drop the luggage and then go do touristy stuff. I’m feeling the weird jet lag but I want to go out and actually get tired before I go take a nap.” Levi nodded, “Yes, let’s go if everyone is finished.” When they stood the barista whistled to them and put a to go cup on the counter for Levi. Levi took it and gave a short nod of his head and they left. It seemed that regardless of Levi’s hard exterior he always managed to make friends. Erwin smiled at the thought.

The apartment was small and there were a few walls that if they came down it’d be a different story but all in all it was very homey. Levi and Eren had painted and there were remnants of their love written on the paint clothes hanging on the ladder in the empty bedroom next to the one they’d put up for Erwin and Armin. Eren and Armin ran around grabbing at each other while Levi and Erwin cleaned up and then they went out for the day visiting the Louvre, museums, and a few other places before grabbing dinner and returning back to the apartment. 

Armin and Eren curled up on the couch in their shorts and t-shirts while they drank white wine and ate grapes Levi and Eren had gotten from the farmer’s market in downtown. Erwin went into the guest room with Levi where Levi told him he was going to ask Eren to marry him on the Eiffel tower tomorrow. He’d put it off long enough taking him up there and since everyone was here he wanted to do it and have them take pictures. Erwin was excited, “So, Armin will get to enjoy Eren’s engagement first…” Levi smirked, “I told him I was going to do it a month ago and he’s kept the secret but it works for you because Eren is not expecting it and Armin won’t expect his on the 6th and…” Erwin looked at him, “and?” Levi smiled, “He’s going to pout and be insatiable and when you ask he’ll be putty in your hands.” Erwin laughed, “I wish he was putty in my hands already.” Levi shrugged, “I’m sorry, I know the pills have put a damper on your crazy ass sex life but he’s getting better. Hanji called in his prescription for me to get and give to him and it’s actually a lower dose but don’t tell him. We’re hoping some placebo will do him good.” Erwin nodded, “I do too. I love him so much and this is really affecting him. We try to not fight about the obvious but on the plane we got in to it. I suppose I’m jealous of the role you’re playing in his recovery. I’m sorry.” Levi looked away, feigning interest in the ring box. He felt guilty.

That night Armin and Erwin laid down on the air mattress together, cleaned up and jet lagged. Eren and Levi could be heard in the living room. Eren had been washing dishes in the [kitchen](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/c1/4f/9f/c14f9f5600b3fcf839aba244388ccadf.jpg) when Levi came up behind him, arms circling his slim waist, chin on his shoulder, swaying back and forth singing, “Quand il me prend dans ses bras. Il me parle tout bas, je vois la vie en rose.” Armin had smiled so brightly it hurt. Time apart had made each couple stronger. It would seem that for Eren and Levi they had fallen in to a more domesticated role. Armin wondered if Erwin wanted that of him or if he’d be okay with him not being as traditional. 

On the air mattress Armin watched as Erwin moved setting his phone alarm and then turned over creating a loud squeaky noise. Armin started to laugh uncontrollably. “We’re not going to be getting anything started on a loud ass mattress like this.” Erwin flushed red, “But, I was so excited!” Armin moved forward squeaking as he shifted, “Kiss me, daddy.” He whispered in a sultry tone reserved for when he wanted to get something started. Erwin’s arms wrapped around Armin, cradling him to him, “Daddy,” his breath was shallow, “daddy,” Erwin grabbed the back of his head pulling at the roots, “more,” Erwin growled low in his chest, “please,” his lips moved to the hollow of Armin’s clavicle sucking and biting, “ah,” Armin bucked against him suddenly very hot and very turned on. Armin moved to clutch Erwin’s chest with his hands bawling in the fabric. Erwin moved more on top of Armin, pinning him down with his weight. His hands moved the expanse of his body grabbing and pinching eliciting moans from Armin that he greedily drank in. They were coming to a head, an eruption. Armin’s mind was spinning and unfortunately it came full circle landing on the moments where he saw things in the woods, saw Erwin’s face when he’d turned him away from sex more than once, came back to the letter and Levi’s plan. It was too much. He pushed Erwin back, “No.” 

Erwin went completely still, “Okay.” He rolled off still close to Armin but giving him his space. “I’m sorry.” Armin tried to calm his breath, “I’m broken.” Erwin sighed, “Not broken, baby. Nothing like you could ever break. You’re made of diamond, you sparkle and shine but you can cut to heart of anything. I love you and I am amazed by you. Its fine and you don’t have to worry. Take all the time you need.” Armin leaned over kissing the exposed skin of Erwin’s arm, biting down on it. “Hmm but I wish I could just…” Erwin reached over stoking Armin’s hair, “It’ll happen when it happens.” Armin sighed, “Why are you so understanding?” Erwin felt himself start to panic, “Because” _I know,_ “I just am. Let’s leave it at that.” Armin did but he didn’t want to. 

*******************

”Hurry up, Armin!” Armin’s knees were wobbling on the stair, _Why did they leave the steps without a kick plat? My foot, whole leg even, could go right through._ Armin felt hot, he felt faint, he was nauseous and Erwin was coming up behind him, “Armin? What’s wrong? Have your legs become tired.” He chuckled tickling Armin from behind. Armin gave him an evil glare, he really wanted to bite his head off. _We’re so fucking high up._ Armin hated heights. He absolutely despised this climb to the top of the Eiffel tower. If only the stairs weren’t open he could maybe pretend that it wasn’t so bad. But it was, “We’re almost to the third tier. Come on.” Erwin patted his shoulder causing him to sulk more. Warily he made the rest of the climb to the third tier.

Classic Edith Piaf tunes played over the loud speaker as the group took a moment to look out at the city lit from lights as far as the eye could see. It was brimming with life and history. Levi held Eren’s hand taking in the reflection of the lights in Eren’s eyes. He looked around and noticed Erwin taking pictures but no Armin. “Where is shota delight?” Eren broke out of his trance, “Armin, probably throwing up. He’s afraid of heights and the stairs probably really freaked him out.” Erwin strode over, “What?” Eren turned around, “Yeah, didn’t you know? That’s why you stayed back with him, right?” Erwin made an “oh jeeze” face” before inhaling sharply, “I did not. That’s why he looked like he wanted to kill me.” Levi pushed off the railing, “Well, we got one more tier and then we’ll take the elevator up. I reserved a private session but we’ll only have ten minutes.” Armin appeared, “How many more tiers?” He was green and looked horrible, “One more. What if I blind fold you?” Armin shook his head, “I’d probably freak out. Let’s just,” he sighed, “go on and do it.” Armin went forward taking Erwin’s hand as they ascended the stairs to the fourth tier.

Once at the door waiting for their group to be called Armin turned in to face Erwin, “Daddy?” Erwin looked down, “Baby?” “I’m freaking the fuck out.” “How can I make it better?” “Let me crawl inside your coat.” Erwin chuckled opening his coat and covering Armin and his eyes, “Better?” “Not yet.” Erwin looked down, “When we get to the top, kiss me and tell me you love me and that you’re happy.” Erwin smiled brightly, “But, I am all of those things. Plus, I don’t know if I can kiss you, pukey mouth.” Armin wrinkled his nose. _Adorable_ , Erwin thought. “I’ll keep that in mind for the remainder of our relationship, Mr. Smith. You have scorned me in the most romantic city in the world. This will be a tale told for generations.” “I hope so, baby. I hope you’re telling our great grandchildren as I sit at your feet kissing them.” Armin huffed, “Ass.” Erwin heard their number called and pushed them forward on to the small glass elevator. “Don’t look down, Arm.” Eren teased pressing himself against the glass. “I wont.” Armin mumbled from his cocoon as Erwin laughed fully. He was excited for what was to come and for how Armin was returning to normal. Day one of new pills was proving a positive change of pace. 

When the doors open they gasped. The beautiful landscape was even more impressive and chilled winds made Armin thankful for his boyfriend’s coat. Eren ran to the side looking out and Armin warily joined him after being begged. They stood looking out, took pictures of all of them in the group and couples, and then right when it was getting time for them to start packing up the lights came on on the tower bathing them in the most spectacular show the city had to offer. Eren’s eyes lit up, “Levi, look! Lo-“ Eren turned but didn’t see Levi, _He was just there?_ Then he looked down to see Levi on his knee, [ring](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/96/88/45/96884523471175db18086497019bbab5.jpg) out and tears in his eyes, “Eren,” his voice broke, “Eren, will you marry me?” Eren was stunned, his body turned to stone.

It was too perfect, the moment too sweet, the look in Levi’s eyes too raw and honest. He was absolutely the most happy he’d ever been in his life. He cried fat tears of joy, “Yes, yes! I’ll marry you, Levi!” Levi got up holding the box forward as Eren attacked him. Their mouths met and they held a passionate and loving kiss. Erwin caught it all with his camera as Armin shed tears of joy and smiled like a fool. He was so happy for Eren and Levi and couldn’t wait to plan a wedding. 

The good times continued when they entered the elevator and ended up at another platform, “We get to ride down so no stairs.” Levi told Armin holding Eren close as Eren admired the ring on his finger, “This is blinding. This ring is so rich and outlandish and I have no right to wear such.” Levi chuckled, “Do you not like it, ahuvi?” Eren turned around mouth agape, “I LOVE IT. WHY WOULD I NOT LIKE IT?” Levi chuckled, “Who knows, brat.” He kissed his neck, “I love you, ahuvi.” Eren smiled shyly, “I love you, too. Let’s get some ice cream.” Levi rolled his eyes, “Yes, ice cream. Whatever you want.” 

Erwin looked around noting it was time for them to get on the new elevator. Armin shuffled forward hugging Eren, “I am so happy for you.” Eren and Armin stood hand in hand as the rode down, “It feels like a dream, Arm. Pinch me.” Armin giggled leaning over, “OW!” “You said pinch me.” “Not that hard, damn.” Armin smiled as Eren rubbed his arm feigning hurt, “You’re next probably.” _Why the fuck did I say that? Oh my God, Levi is going to kill me._

Armin flushed, “Hopefully,….in a few years maybe.” Eren nodded, “Yeah, when Erwin gets that position as dean probably. Imagine the party he’d throw? Bet he covers you in bows and present you to himself.” Eren’s smile was wicked as Armin flushed redder, “I’ll be his present any day.” Armin mumbled looking over to see Erwin winking. “You two shouldn’t be left alone to your own devices.”  
**********

The group went to dinner, eating ice cream afterwards and excitedly discussing the engagement. Eren wanted to tell the world about the engagement and Levi wasn’t going to stop him as he took pictures and called Mikasa. Unfortunately, the happiness was tinged with bitterness when it came to his parents. They were going to be difficult to deal with and finally Levi revealed to Eren what they had said to him when he asked for his hand. Eren took it in stride, “Then we’re over due for a long talk. Thank you for telling me and thank you for loving me and asking me to stay with you forever.” Their lips met and Levi’s eyes were once again full of emotion. “Let’s go home.” Erwin stood up, “Armin and I are going to walk around the city. You two head home and enjoy your moment.” Armin downed his champagne, “Come on, daddy. I want to see the river.” The couple parted as the night began to come alive.

**************

Levi opened the door carrying Eren over the threshold. Eren had jumped into his arms, wrapping his legs around Levi’s waist as they stopped at the door. He was kissing the soft skin of Levi’s neck, nuzzling it and nibbling it till it turned purple. Eren’s hips grinded against Levi’s. He walked them into their bed room shutting the door with his foot. Levi laid Eren on the bed dragging his hands down his body and making quick work of removing his clothes. Naked, flushed, and shuddering from the slight chill in the room Eren looked beautiful to Levi. His hands clutched the sheets as Levi removed his own clothes.

Levi covered his body with his own, kissing his exposed skin, “Je t’aime, ahuvi. Je t’aime.” Levi kisses and mumbled proclamations of love were soon drowned out Eren wanton call for more. Eren leaned into Levi, their bodies molding together. They’d been desperate here in France for comfort. Levi had vomited the first two weeks with regular attacks making Donner whine and sleep in the bed with them because he was so upset about Erwin. Armin had been so low that Eren had feared for his well being. They found a way to heal one another with their bodies. Their love making still had the same passion during the day but in the cool nights of the romantic city they slowed down, took their time, made love, real love to one another. Levi’s eyelashes fluttered across Eren’s skin and he felt it. The small indentations left for brief seconds on his skin from the shape of Levi’s manicured nails felt magnified as they exchanged heated breath. He could feel the thumping of Levi’s heart through his chest on his own and the way his lips felt quirked into a sly smile had its own distinct feel apart from the myriad of other shapes they could make for various emotions. 

Levi opened Eren up, coaxing out moans as his fingers turned and scissored within him. Eren wasn’t always as submissive as Levi would expect. He removed Levi’s fingers, sighing as he did so and pushed Levi on his back and up the bed. At the headboard, Levi sat up as Eren straddled his lap. Eren’s lips, pouty and swollen, found Levi’s again and moved tantalizingly, promising him all sorts of sinful delights as he teased Levi’s erection. He reached over coating his hand in lubricant and sliding it painfully slow against the sensitive flesh. Levi bucked and moaned at Eren’s brashness he’d only brought out a few times in their relationship. Eren in control made him feel a fluttering in his stomach that reminded him of his childhood infatuations. But, Eren was more than an infatuation. He was real and he was here about to ride Levi into a pleasured and loving oblivion. 

Eren lowered himself slowing, rocking back and forth getting accustomed to Levi. Their lips parted only when necessary as they moved together. Eren teased Levi, biting down on his lips and bruising them. He pulled his hair and moaned throatily as he barred down him pushing him closer and closer to the edge. Levi threw his head back, “Eren,” it was an exclamation, “Eren,” it was a prayer, “Eren I,” he had so much he wanted to say, “Eren.” That was all that needed to be said. Eren understood, had since they met on some level. They were two wild animals that had found each other and were now in the process of building a pack of their own with their own rules and their own vision. They didn’t have to play by anyone else’s rules. They were coming together because they wanted to and because they were committed to one another. 

Their climax reached them quickly, washing over them as they faded into blissful caresses and sweet promises. Levi enjoyed the sight of Eren’s pupils blown wide in sated lust and the feral look they contained. He enjoyed him taking control because it showed he wasn’t weak and Levi felt better knowing he could tend to himself if need be. He was older than Eren now, they were going to get older. What if he left him sooner than later? He pushed the thought away and decided for once in his anxious life he’d stop focusing on the negative and just thank HaShem for giving him the time he had with Eren. He was thankful and pondered if Eren was some sort of karmic retribution for all the piousness of his past life. He was sure of it, if he was being honest with himself. He’d always felt this strange feeling like he had known him and was coming home to him. But, that was for latter ponderings, not now in the post orgasmic glow where Eren was leaned back stretching his back and rolling his slender neck back and forth for Levi to admire. 

His fingers threaded through the soft hair of Eren’s head, down the temples, over the high cheek bones, and to the pouty lips. Eren closed his eyes breathing shallow but much calmer than before. Eren moved his left hand to Levi’s face, _This is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen or will ever see._ He gazed at the ring against Levi’s face. It shone in the light like a beacon. Levi’s pale skin was flushed. The tips of the wings on his back peeped over as his chest rose and fell. Eren had never been so happy. That seemed to be the trend with Levi. He kept allowing Eren to reach levels of feeling he never thought possible. He was hopeful it was the same for Levi. 

”Let’s shower, brat.” Levi smirked pulling Eren up into his arms, “in that tiny ass shower? How did Erwin bathe this morning? It’s the size of a coffin.” Levi tch’ed, “It’s common here.” Eren nuzzled under Levi’s chin, “Let’s update it. It can be our little project. We have the bath so there shouldn’t be a lot of problems there.” Levi sat Eren down, “No, we’re going to call someone. You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into and I don’t have time for that.” Eren pouted, “But, Levi.” Levi merely stared, “Levi, please? Do it for your fiancée?” Levi’s lip twitched before he sighed, “No, stop trying to guilt me. I’ll let Erwin explain when he gets home. Our luck there’d be something living in the walls.” He smirked but there was bitter look that flashed across his eyes, “It is Europe.” 

Eren jumped in the small shower, “Well, at least get in here and steam it up with your extremely happy fiancée.” He giggled as Levi rolled his eyes stepping in and slapping his ass with the rag, “Brat. You like using that word don’t you?” Eren leaned down biting his nose softly, “You fucking know it, Levi, my fiancée.” He giggled as Levi and he struggled to shower in the small space. And that night when Erwin and Armin returned to find them curled up on the [couch](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/bc/61/3d/bc613df64d42a51f10f51f7fa0ee90b9.jpg), old reruns of _The Nanny_ on, and fresh brewed tea on the table Erwin told Eren about the time Levi helped him remodel an apartment as a good deed for an older couple they met and befriended. While demolishing the living room they found a family of raccoons living in the walls and Levi was bitten by one and had to take rabies shots in his stomach for six months. Eren couldn’t help but laugh with Armin as Levi scoffed drinking his tea, “That’s why when we go to Normandy I’ll have someone come and install a new shower. You never know what the fuck is in these walls and I’m not going to get shots again.” Armin giggled, “Did they hurt?” Levi gave him a look of contempt, “Of course they hurt, little shit. Use that brain of yours. Honestly, Erwin, watch out for that.” Erwin giggle pulling Armin into his lap, “Oh, I’ve got my eye right on this one.” Levi and Erwin exchanged sly glances, _Yes_ , thought Levi, _I guess you do._


	33. Az Badakhshōnume

To say that the events of that summer were going to be not only promising but world changing would be an understatement. They had no idea the morning after would start a proverbial ticking down of time on the clock. What clock is this one might ask? One that had been the measure for all that was set before they were even aware of one another, before they knew each other’s names, faces, the smell of their clean skin after a bath, the sound of their sob when they were truly desperate, or the calluses that hard labor had wrought on their fingertips as it glided over the smooth plains of their bodies. What would happen to these six people when the time ran out? No one really knew for sure, not even those who had set the timer. Would it be silence, a simple end to it all? Or would it end like a bomb, invisible ripples and shocks that tore them all apart and devastated everything?

*******************

The morning of the 5th was simple, wake up, eat breakfast at the café from when they landed, head by the river down to the shops, and then lunch at the University with Levi and Eren. Armin decided to make a stop at Dafna’s store before they headed to Normandy and Erwin thought that was a splendid idea. He had seen Armin’s mood improve leaps and bounds now that he was on a new set of pills and Eren was around. Levi had also increased his ability to put more of the odd things in Armin’s recent behavior aside such as checking in on Erwin more often and standing between him and doors and windows. It was strange to say the least but Levi always quickly dismissed it as anything other than typical male protectiveness and instinct. Levi’s eyes did tighten ever so slightly when he said it and that set Erwin on edge.

Dafna and David’s shop was amazing. Floor to ceiling it was lined with books and papers neatly organized by time period, genre, topics, geography of events, etc… Erwin had gasped as they opened the door. Armin quickly stepped inside reaching out and running nimble fingers down the spines of the books. He was gone in a second and Erwin turned to see an older man, face worn and skin slightly tanned, hazel eyes like Jean, and white receding hair. He was in his 70s and got around well from. When he approached he smiled friendly and extended his hand, “Would you happen to be the Mr. Smith?” Erwin nodded, “I am. Are you David Toulouse?” David nodded, “My sister, Dafna, called and told me you might stop by. I am very excited to meet you and your husband, who I see is now in the crusades and Middle Eastern history section climbing that old latter. Hahaha.” He laughed bright and cheerful as Erwin shook his head, “He’s a fellow lover of books and knowledge, though, not my husband.” 

David nodded waving Erwin back into one of the other rooms in the store where there was a sitting area, “In America you can now marry, Oui?” Erwin sat down and started to open his mouth, “So why have you not yet done so?” Erwin smirked, “We’ve not been together even a year.” David pulled a thick tome from a shelf and laid it down running his fingers on the rough edged pages, “So?”Erwin shrugged casting him a sly look, “I heard that French men don’t worry about rushing to get married. They don’t worry about the urge to cheat because as long as the wife never finds out about the other person it’s not an affair. So, should I take advice form a French man?” David laughed wagging his finger at him, “Touché, now let’s talk primary sources and the bill I’m sure that will be presented at the end of your lover’s perusing.” Erwin leaned back in his seat. He really liked this man.

*************************

Later that night as the boarded the train Armin snuck away to the desert car with Levi, “They called me.” Levi’s eyes widened, “Your parents?” Armin shook his head, “No, them.” The air was thick, “And?” Armin shrugged chewing the inside of his lip, “I think that they just wanted to upset me, nothing new to add, really. It was short and strange, just letting me know they knew I was in Europe.” Levi frowned, “I’ve booked flights for Turkey in July. I’ve also asked that Marco and Jean extend their stay in a way to come with us. They’re useful.” Armin nodded, “Yeah.” His throat was thick and the lump in it would not recede. He just wanted to be normal again with Erwin safe and happy. He deserved at least that much.

*********************

They spent the day going to the shores of Normandy, pebbled beaches giving way to sand. Omaha no longer stained red like rust by the blood those who’d fallen, point du Hawk a field trip into the aftermath of shelling where large openings could swallow masses whole like welcoming graves, Sword and Juno small side excursions through foliage with bits of shrapnel still in the sand if one searched hard enough. But the city was bustling and the ice cream sweet and runny in the sunlight. The cobbled streets echoing with the pitter patter of feet, tourist and local alike as they went about their business. 

A trip to the cemetery revealed Smith after Smith but Erwin stopped Armin at a few. “Here is my grandfather’s brother and his other and this here,” he shifted down the row, “his uncle, cousin, and sister.” Armin’s eyes widened, “Sister?’ Erwin felt the smooth stone, “Marine nurse. She was at the field hospital in Britain and decided to come over as a medic on the boats. She was shot on the shore trying to save someone’s life. Women are often phased out of history when it doesn’t fit the narrative but she was here and we knew.” Armin looked at the name on the smooth white stone. _How appropriate._ “Artemis.” Armin placed a flower at her grave, “That’s my favorite name, you know? It’s my favorite tale, too.” Erwin hummed, “No, I didn’t know.” He thought to himself for a bit, “I quiet like that. That is very Armin thing to like.” Armin starred at the name and begged her spirit for strength.

They met with Levi and Eren who had been following along but when it came time for the graveyard Levi had naturally wanted to pass. Eren traced the map with Levi as he helped a couple translate nearby into Japanese. Their Grandfather’s brother had been a Japanese American who fought in the war and died. They’d promised to go to his grave on day and see the other half of their family’s history. Levi understood and took the time to write out translations in his neat hand writing Eren love to trace with his eyes. They thanked him and gave congratulations on their engagement. Eren felt himself swell with pride. 

Armin and Erwin stalked behind them before approaching them, “What are y’all up to?” Eren jumped, “Armin!” Erwin and Levi looked at the map, “Wanna go to the shore again or should we head to the hotel, change, and then go to dinner?” Armin and Erwin had a flat in one of the hotels that they’d offered Levi and Eren but Levi had declined. He checked into a room at the hostel next door because he’d never stayed in one with Eren yet and he wanted Eren to get the full experience of French travel. They decided to bike back and get ready for dinner. The ride would be a good half hour and Eren and Armin had chose a tandem bike that amused Erwin and Levi to no end with Armin’s competitive nature when it came to biking. They all sat on their bikes and pushed off, hugging the shore and laughing. The day was good. **************** 

The [ flat](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/73/e1/4e/73e14e411aea639b0ce9ce5e8d9429f9.jpg) was nicer than what they had expected for a paid trip by a university. That had eventually set Armin on edge knowing that not everything was always as it seemed with Maria. A nice apartment meant what exactly? He felt ridiculous but his small bubble of hope he’d held out for when they were finally back under Levi’s care had been burst with that last phone call. He changed in silence as Erwin talked about his book with passing interest. He knew Erwin did most of his thinking aloud and worked through things by doing so. Armin pulled on light cashmere orange V-neck sweater. It had been a gift from Erwin and while he’d worn it in Maria it had something magnetic about it here in Normandy whose nights were cooler due to the sea breeze pouring down the streets. He wore navy capris slacks that were tailored well to his frame and leather loafers. His diamond art deco necklace finished the look off with his Cartier love bracelet he never took off and he stepped into his bathroom with Eren after he and Levi appeared. Eren looked smart in dark wash jeans, black Kenneth Cole loafers that he said felt like a dream, and a dark grey button up, un-tucked with the top two buttons open. His ring was understated enough that when it was against the silky grey it popped drawing the eye to its unique shape.

“You called, my lord?” He had a huge shit eating grin on his face and Armin didn’t know why, “Cut my hair please?” Eren’s smile turned sly, “Why? You’ve worked so hard on this wondrous mane?” Armin gave him a slap, “Please?” Eren pulled out the scissors and comb, draping a towel around his shoulders, “Who puts diamonds on and then gets a hair cut?’ Armin snorted, “Me. Make it short, you know, like you did in Atlanta. I’ll let my bangs stay sort of long so I can swoop them over to the side.” Eren hummed, “Of course, Arm. I’ve got you.” 

They went to a nice place known for their seafood. Levi broke out of his Kosher ways for a night, sampling things off Eren’s plate. Levi looked dashing in a black dinner jacket, black fitted slacks and black loafers. His white dress shirt was crisp and almost a wonder in itself since he’d pressed it in a crowded hostel. In Armin’s opinion Erwin stole the night. His black button up shirt was open at the top three buttons, cuffs rolled up to the elbow, and white slacks tight and revealing. His cherry strained leather loafers shined as they had walked under the streetlamps as Armin sang _Memory_ hanging on his arm as he lifted him up and made him giggle. 

”Have y’all thought about planning anything?” Eren was shoveling food in his mouth but gave pause enough to make Levi snicker. “He started a pinterest board. I figured we’d send an announcement out to friends and that’s about it. I don’t think we should rush to the alter. We’re already living together.” Eren pouted, “So, why wait?” Levi drank his wine, “We’ll your parents…” Eren shifted, “Yeah, well…I’d just got to the court house if that’s all.” Armin sighed, “That’s appealing. But, you shouldn’t give up what you want because of that. I think waiting is good. It will give them more time to come around. I do think they will, Eren. Also, your first year in vet school is going to be rough.” He laughed making Eren laugh, “God, yes….I still can’t believe I got in.” he turned to Levi, “You know, if we do wait till…let’s say…I’m 21 then Mila will be two and can walk down the aisle as a flower girl by herself.” Levi’s eyes brightened and Erwin cackled, “Oh, yes! That’s how you get Levi’s attention. Mention Mila and he’ll do whatever it takes.” He cast a glare at Erwin, “Shut up.” Eren feigned hurt, “Do you love Mila more than me?’ He gave him his best puppy dog eyes, “I might.” “LEVI!” “She’s quieter than you.” “I can be quiet.” He mumbled pouting.

Erwin nearly choked on his wine, “Uh yeah, I don’t think so.” Eren reeled, “Erwin! How dare you gang up on me! It’s not like Armin is all that quiet!” Armin merely shrugged as Erwin leaned over, “Oh, on the contrary, Armin can be so quiet sometimes I lose him even in our room.” “Not hard when we live in a mansion.” Armin said sarcastically sipping his champagne. Erwin gave him a wounded look before returning to Eren, “Once, he crawled up in chaise after we got it and started reading. I woke up, looked around, got out of bed and washed, went to the closet, went all around the room, started to worry about him, went through the house and only after me coming in the panicking did he say “I was wondering what you were looking for.”” “So” Levi began,” The moral of the story is actually that you are old and not as sharp as you once were.” He challenged him with his eyes and Eren noticed for split second Erwin seemed to cringe, “Maybe,” he sighed, “I am. That’s kind of sad. Has civilian life made me soft?” Levi put his tea down with a thud, “Damn,” his monotone voice dripped with exasperation, “I didn’t mean anything by it. Don’t get so fucking depressed. I think it’s a good thing you’re not as jumpy and possessive as you used to be.” He flipped through the desert menu while Armin perked up a bit, “Examples?”

Levi took a second to think, “There are too many to even list, honestly. He used to follow me if I went out into the city to be _alone._ ” He made a pointed glance at Erwin, “He was very possessive about the attention I got from others after we started sleeping together. A few guys got transferred and or removed flat out. He can manipulate with the best of them so your guess is as good as mine as to where they ended up.” Armin and Eren both turned to see a very poker faced Erwin, “This is all allegedly, of course. Levi hasn’t any hard evidence.” Armin’s face read as suspicious, “I tend to believe him.” “He then had our barrack assignment switched putting us together with our shared office in one metal container called home. It became a situation where I felt more like the head mistress of the post than a soldier. But, now that’s all on Armin and he seems much more accepting of the arrangement that I did. Thank God.” Erwin shrugged, “You have to admit, you liked some of the perks.” “Very few, actually.” “The tea and ability to move around freely?” “Was pretty nice but you were always there…I just wanted to be away from people. Donner did, too.” 

He reached down petting Donner who laid on the floor. France was a lot more accepting of dogs in public spaces than America. He had his paperwork and leash but he wasn’t asked to present them near as much. “I definitely do not mind. Head mistress was always a goal of mine.” Armin smiled flipping through the menu as Eren laughed. Erwin’s chest filled with warmth, “So you were always looking for a Sugar Daddy?” Armin looked up, “I was always meant for the finer things in life. Don’t act like you’re not delighted I chose you.” He smirked finally picking out a large chocolate lava cake while Erwin leaned back draping his arm over his shoulders. 

They ordered deserts eating in peace until Armin spoke, “I called Marco and asked him if here was anything notable in his medical history and I think we might have thought of something.” Levi stopped mid bite, “What?” Armin smiled coyly, “I think that he and Eren being only children might be the key. Marco’s mother was told she couldn’t, rather shouldn’t, have children after Marco and so was Mrs. Jaeger. Eren and Marco also have the same blood type.” Levi’s mind began to work. “Erythroblastosis…” “fetails” Armin finished for him. Levi stared off into nowhere thinking it through. “You’re a genius. Would you ever consider going into medicine?” Armin snorted, “I’m not cut out for that. I just read a lot.” Eren was working as well, “So, because my mother….oh that’s interesting. My umbilical cord tore and I was delivered by emergency C-section. It had already affected my mother and she was discouraged from having future kids but you know there’s a vaccine for it she could have taken to have more and them be okay. I wonder if us both being O negative has anything to do with the serum?” 

Levi shot off an email to Hanji and made a few key notes in his pad he carried with him, “It must have some bearing. Thank you, Armin. As always you are a crucial cog in the wheel.” Eren smiled, “I think you should be the assistant. I didn’t even think about that. I’ve been wondering if it was that really bad bout of flu I got when I was ten. Marco also had flu at that age that was bad. But, most young kids do.” Erwin leaned over kissing him on the head, “Baby you are so smart.” Armin filled with pride. “Thanks daddy.” The group finished with their desert and went on to part ways, promising to catch up tomorrow.

***********************

Back in the flat Erwin had wine in the fridge and fruit. He pulled it out bringing it on their balcony. The fireworks were set to begin at any minute and Armin had brought a pillow and blanket out for them. He was in the large chair waiting for Erwin to come out. Setting the food down on the table beside them, he filled their glasses, picked Armin up and sat down with him in his lap watching the show begin. They drank and ate together in peaceful silence for the longest time just listening to the crack of the fireworks, the patriotic music playing from the speakers the city had, and relishing in a long day of excitement giving way to peaceful relaxation and love. 

”Armin?” “Hmm?” “I love you.” “I love you, too.” “How much?” “Um..a lot?” “Would you love me if I was poor?” “Ha, yes.” “Would you love me if I was deaf or blind or both?” “Erwin, yes. Even if you become one or both of those things I’ll still love you.” “What if I become boring?” “You already are kind of boring, daddy. I keep you young.” “True. What if I become mean and go back to my military days?” “As long as you aren’t mean to me I’ll love you. I’ll try to get you help because I don’t think I want you to be mean to our friends and family but I’ll still love you.” “You’ll love me regardless, in good times and bad, sickness and health, poverty and prosperity, till death and maybe…even after death?” “Even after. I promise you…” The words seemed to echo from long ago, as if he’d said those words to Erwin before. An Erwin who was much older than him, even more than the 7 years now and if he was allowing this nostalgia, this queer feeling to be taken serious, he felt like he’d said them leaning over the bedside in a cabin in the woods, the slight tinge of salt from the sea in the air coming in from the windows, to a feverish Erwin without an arm. What a strange thing to imagine and the same arm that was scarred as well. “I think I’ve loved you forever, Erwin.” He whispered as his head lay against his chest, “I’ll love you forever.” Erwin held Armin closer, “I believe that in my very core, Armin.” And he did, because somewhere in the nostalgia he also felt like he’d asked Armin these exact words before. He felt like he’d asked him at the end of a long journey. That made this quickness not seem as important.

Erwin reached inside his pocket pulling out a small box, “This is different from the other things I’ve given you. This is a symbol that if you accept I’ll always be devoted to you, take care of you, and keep you happy and safe. I want to know if you’ll accept this ring, Armin as a sign of my unending devotion and love and marry me. Marry me, Armin.” Armin’s hands shook, “Are you serious Erwin?” His voice was full of disbelief, “Yes, baby. Here.” Erwin opened the [ box](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/6a/a2/72/6aa27212b2b2ca0222e7a70e6bc15fbd.jpg) revealing a Gatsby inspired diamond ring that sparkled like the fireworks over head. Armin stared open mouthed, a small trickle of tears as he shook and held on to Erwin. “Erwin,” his voice was small and threatened to break loose into a wail, “Erwin I’m so happy. Are you serious?” Erwin kissed his head, “I am always serious when it come to you.” Armin nodded, “Yes. I’ll marry you.” Erwin slid the ring on Armin’s finger, “I’ll always be with you, Armin. I’ll never leave you.”

Armin burst into relieved giggles crushing his lips to Erwin’s and peppering his face with kisses and sliding up to straddle his waist. “Daddy, thank you.” Erwin’s hands rubbed soothing circles on Armin’s hips, “No, thank you, baby.” Armin deepened their kiss moaning softly as Erwin’s tongue ravaged his mouth. His hips shook and his body felt light as Erwin pulled him down and closer to him. Their hands roamed over each other’s bodies after being pushed away for so long. Armin felt a small spark ignite. He’d known Erwin somehow, somewhere else. They were too magnetic to have not been destined to be together. He’d take that strange feeling as a sign that what he was doing with Erwin was right and it was worth making the ultimate sacrifices for.

"Daddy," Armin whined as Erwin’s mouth moved over his neck, "fuck me out here." Though very excited about the thought Erwin was still practical, "Well, the lube isn't out here my sweet." Armin whined louder, "Daddy!" Erwin chuckled, "Armin, you know we can't just rely on spit. You'll get hurt. I'll go get the lube and-" "No just...not yet." Armin pulled away from Erwin flushed and panting. He slid down between Erwin's legs running his hands up and down his thighs as he laid his head to one side looking innocently at Erwin. His breathed hitched at the sight while the fireworks were still overhead, "Do you like this, daddy?" Erwin flushed hot, "It's great, baby." Armin’s nimble fingers unbuttoned his pants revealing his briefs. He leaned forward opening his mouth to breathe hotly on his half hard cock. He mouthed the fabric nipping lightly as Erwin gasped and moaned appreciatively. Armin turned his eyes back on Erwin, knowing the wide eye doe look always turned him on painfully and quickly.

He reached up to trace the slit through the fabric, that was slick with precum, before rolling down his briefs and exposing his erection to the cool air. Erwin whimpered as Armin blew on it again. He nuzzled the tip to his lips before taking in the head and sucking lovingly, digging his tongue into the tip before swirling it around the head. His hand cupped Erwin’s balls playing with them as he took his Erwin’s impressive girth and length. He knew Erwin was right to turn him down especially since they’d gone so long without sex but he wanted him so badly that this would at least let some the tension out.

Erwin clutched the arms of the chair resisting the urge to buck into that welcoming warmth that surrounded him. Armin bobbed on and off as agonizing minutes passed wrecking Erwin. Erwin’s resolve was dwindling, “Armin, God, yes baby. Ohhh” Erwin flinched, bucking up in Armin’s mouth, tip touching the back of his throat. “I’m sorry, baby.” He smoothed Armin’s hair down from where he’d grabbed in the throes of passion. Armin bobbed off with a pop, saliva still connecting him as Erwin moaned at the sight, “its okay, Erwin, you can fuck my mouth.” Erwin’s eyes narrowed, “Are you sure?” Armin nodded, smiling, “Yeah, do it daddy.” And Erwin did, his hands threading through Armin’s silky blond hair and his leg opening wider as Armin kneaded them and rubbed them. His mouth greedily accepted Erwin’s cock and he made sure to exploit Erwin’s preference for vocalized choking noises. Erwin lost himself, giving himself full over to the pleasure as Armin moaned around him pushing him over the edge. He spilled his seed down Armin’s throat, some escaping the sides of Armin’s swollen lips.

Armin pulled off catching his breath and looking at Erwin’s face. He met his gaze before Erwin leaned forward in the chair, fingers extended to capture the remains of his seed left on Armin’s face. Armin darted forward, licking the remainder off his finger and watched as Erwin’s eyes darkened. _A new kink may have just been discovered._ He kept his finger captive, sucking and nibbling on it. “Let’s go inside and find that lube?” Erwin said each word labored and with emphasis, “Mmmm” Armin hummed before popping off his finger, “Let’s.”

Inside Erwin fetched the lube applying a generous amount to his fingers. Armin stood by the window, naked skin in pale light of the street and moon shinning like a creature from the mythos of olden days, watching the fireworks and people returning to their flats across from them. Erwin moved behind him leaning him over the window seal outside and inserted a finger slowly and smoothly. Armin gasped as the stretch proved a bit painful. The cool breeze on his face was nice and eased his discomfort. Erwin watched as his back curved like a feline and his head fell forward in pleasure. Erwin added another finger and eventually a third, coaxing Armin open beautifully.

When he removed his fingers he wrapped one arm around Armin’s waist protectively and securely before he sheathed himself completely in Armin’s small willing body. Armin let out a long moan, back curving back even more, his head thrown back and mouth open wide in a blatant wanton expression. Erwin kissed his neck lightly, his breath ghosting over him, “You ready?’ Armin whined as Erwin began thrusting into him leaning him out the window. His arms kept him safe but there was still edge of danger that made Armin feel alive. He whined and whimpered as Erwin used his body in delightful ways. 

They fucked leaning out the window first. Later, they moved on to the balcony on the floor and then in the large chair where Armin rode Erwin to climax before slipping off and sucking him again. Inside they dirtied the sheets over and over. Armin’s panting and soft moans pierced the otherwise silent flat. Armin’s skin was slick and hot against the sheets as Erwin hovered over him devouring him with his predatory gaze. Armin rolled over on his stomach in a submissive display he knew Erwin would delight in. Erwin kissed down his spine, fingers entering Armin as he gave a few strong slaps to his perky bottom. Armin moaned into the covers fully alive with pleasure and delight. His ring reflected the light from the window creating a dazzling display on the ceiling that he watched as Erwin brought him over the edge again. How many times they’d come that night he had no clue. He didn’t care, especially after their long absence of physical affection. He was loved and he was happy, for once not riddled with worry and guilt. He allowed himself to be happy and as they lay on the bed watching the sun come up. He turned to Erwin kissing him, “I’d do anything to make you happy, Erwin. I’d do anything to make sure you were safe and happy, do you understand?” Erwin smiled drowsy from exertion and sleep, “I do, baby. I do.” He leaned back in kissing him tenderly and with that they fell asleep. 

********************

”Jean, we’re almost there. What are you doing?” “That guy is looking at me.” “People can look wherever they want, Jean.” “He’s looking at me and I don’t like it. HEY-“ “JEAN, NO! BAD BOY.” “I swear to god I’m going to beat that shit eating mug of his.” The train came to a stop and Marco started grabbing their bags from overhead, “Please, don’t.” Jean pulled on his black leather jacket popping the collar up. He wore a grey button up and dark skinny jeans and black books. The man disappeared as the crowed started to leave and they made their way out without a fight. 

Jean held Marco’s hand as they traversed the criss-crossing small side streets of Rome . They’d been in Italy two days already and had visited a few other smaller cities. Marco hummed as they walked along at a pleasant pace looking at their directions to the hostel. Jean felt uneasy as the crowed thinned out and so did Marco, unbeknownst to Jean. Marco’s hand tightened on Jeans, ready to drag him in a mad dash as Jean started counting the number of echoes from footsteps. Jean let go of Marco’s hand shoving him into an open doorway to a fabric shop before turning on his heels to face the stalker. 

It was the same man from the bus station but now he had friends, friends with switch blades. Jean was unarmed and taking on them all at once wasn’t going to work. One of the men threw his blade at Jean who lifted his luggage just in time to stop it. He slung the bag around him pulling the knife out and storming into the fabric store where Marco was waiting for him with the back door open. They ran out into another ally, storming through clothes lines and over toys from children. Jean tripped on a tricycle nearly falling over as Marco slid on the slick stone around the corner only to be greeted to the sight of a locked door in a closed court yard. Marco went to the lock inspecting it and tacking out his own switchblade. He set to prying it open and breaking as Jean turned waiting for them to find them.

When they arrived it was leisurely and condescending, “Hey, we want the dark headed one. You can go, Nazi.” Jean’s rage threatened to consume him, “Who you callin’ Nazi you fuck! Like hell you’re going to get him.” One moved forward swiping at Jean’s stomach narrowly missing it by mere centimeters. He took the chance and grabbed him brining his knee up to painfully jam in his stomach before throwing him to the side as another lunged. The man grappled him to the wall, slashing his blade with his free hand haphazardly at first and then. as Jean started to overcome him, aiming for his organs. Jean had been sparring with Levi and Mikasa and he was thankful to have picked up a few moves. He avoided the slashing until Marco threw the man on his back. His body slapped the tile and Jean watched as Marco viciously aimed above the man’s hipbone providing him with one deep puncture in the gut before sliding the blade out. 

Marco’s eyes shined like hot coals. His high and tight hair cut gave him a more menacing look as he rose to meet the gaze of the main man, “Who do we have here but a Bodt?” Marco moved between Jean and the man, Marco’s voice was low and menacing, “Chi sei? (Who are you?)” he hissed at the still standing man. He looked amused, “Non lo sai? (Don’t you know?) Lo sono tuo cugino, Niccolo (I am your cousin, Niccolo).” Marco lowered the knife an inch, “Niccolo?” Niccolo nodded, “Now hurry, we need to pick’m up and carry him to Antonio down three streets or he die, capisci?” Marco moved to carry the man as Jean let his guard down a bit and moved the other unconscious one over to the gutter. They made it to the Antonio’s and Niccolo laughed saying he’d probably make and if he didn’t then that was alright because it was a family matter. 

Marco and Jean were taken to an estate outside the city center into a wooded area. Jean held Marco hand as he was prone to do when nervous as Niccolo and Marco spoke in a string of Italian sounding like an old film. Jean reached over stroking through Marco’s new undercut. He’d let the top grow longer and if he wanted he could make it into a Mohawk like Jean but for some reason it naturally wanted to part down the middle and Marco didn’t want to deal with it. He come home and Jean had though he’d been inspired by Levi but it would seem Marco just let his hairdresser do whatever she wanted with him and this was how the young and hip were wearing it these days. He’d grown more muscular and his body was golden and dusted with an array of new constellations of freckles. Marco smiled kissing his fingertips, “Jean.” He giggled. It was Jean’s favorite sound.

At the estate they came upon a large table set for dinner. Niccolo was leading them to the main house as a woman appeared from under an umbrella on the lawn, “You killed my Isocapo?” Marco stopped flushed pink before Niccolo walked towards her, “Isocapo will probably live. He’s family, it doesn’t mean anything.” She looked at Marco and seemed to accept that he was indeed family. But, when her eyes stopped on Jean her lips curled into a sneer, “He’s covering for that one. I don’t believe you.” Jean wanted to scream, _”What was with these fuckers?”_ “Marco stabbed him right proper in the gut above the hip on the right, like a Bodt.” He held his first three fingers together in the shape of an O before bringing them to his lips, puckering, and then pulling them away as he made a kissing noise. She turned, disgusted. 

Inside the house, a sprawling mansion with multiple rooms and two kitchens from what they had passed sat in the grand room a man who turned out to be Marco’s great uncle. He was the Godfather of the estate, though he chuckled at the name. He had a pleasant face, something Jean was beginning to believe was genetic, but with the exception of a scared cheek. His hair was salt and pepper and skin dark and tanned from years in the sun. “Giovanni said you’d be coming, my son. I’m your uncle Gio.” Marco nodded, “Yes, we came to visit and to meet a contact for my friends.” Jean sat with his hands in his lap, he dare not hold Marco’s hand here in a catholic household with a cross on every door and now men with guns hidden not so secretly on their person.

”Yes you said they needed information and you submitted an initial proposal on their behalf.” He snapped his finger and a boy ran out. These men must all be family for they all favored one another, even the most unique had a certain trait that linked them. The file was brought in, “Okay, all of the information you wanted in this initial proposal is here and of course, you can always submit more. You asked about the whereabouts of a Jamal Al Din and that was a bit problematic so I’ll save it for last, or rather, they request it is left for last. Marilyn Rose Smith: Born May 10th 1962, maiden name Crenshaw, Father’s name Alexander Viktor Crenshaw, Mother’s name Esther Miriam Schraeder, married Gabriel Salome Smith and gave birth to Erwin _Ziv_ Smith, Stage name Geraldine Rose. She became a US citizen in 1980, spent time in jail in Germany, Sweden, and France for protesting. A brief RAF affiliate but broke off ties when offered an opportunity to tour in Israel. Once she became entrenched in pro-Israeli ideas she was black balled for a period by PLO officials.” He turned the sheet over pausing.

Marco had so many questions. This wasn’t lining up with what he’d been told by any parties. “Now, Jamal-al Din is a very, very common name. The Jamal-al Din you are searching for is Abulafia. Little is known about him other than he was born in 1958 in a DP camp in what is now the Gaza strip. He is a known terrorist leader who has a frustrating history of leaving no trace and always coming into the right amount of funds. He works for the liberation of Palestine but also has a hand in hackers and other revolutionary cells that call for a dramatic revolution for the people by the people. He relies, like many terrorists, on capitalism for his check book but socialism support from his network and then a communist distribution of wealth for his soldiers. He was in love with Marilyn and close friends with her husband Gabriel. Gabriel and Jamal met at a rally in Chicago about cold war politics. It is unclear if the reason Gabriel and Jamal remained friends is because of Marilyn or if there is more to it than that. It would appear that something else linked them throughout their friendship after Marilyn’s death.”

Marco felt his stomach tighten in foreboding, “He worked at Maria. Does it say in what?” Marco’s uncle searched the papers, “Pharmacy and Chemistry. He has minor degrees in Biology, Anatomy, and Pathology. He’s a very experience scientist but at Maria he was over the medical school and taught Political Science classes on the Middle East.” Marco chewed his lip, “Is that all?” “No, no, no. There’s more but it’s dinner time so let us eat.” 

At dinner the table was full. At least 30 people had joined them to eat. Children ran about sticky from fruit and cake. Marco and Jean sat near his uncle Giovanni, turned out Marco’s father was his namesake, and Niccole. Niccolo called over a polish man named Juerek. He was polished, clean cut, dark auburn hair, pale skin, and piercing green eyes. He was very handsome but Jean could tell if he was related it was distantly at best. “Hello, I am Juerek. I’m your contact. Here is my card. You call this number when you want. Whatever you want, you call.” Juerek took a bottle of wine before returning to the group of girls sitting on a blanket listening to music.

The woman from earlier sat across from Jean sneering, “Nazi.” Jean’s eyes narrowed, “I’m not a fucking Nazi.” Niccolo interjected, “He can fight. Uncle Gio, he’s got the rage.” Uncle Gio glanced over him, “But he’s a Nazi.” Jean shook from anger, “What the hell makes you think that?!” He screamed standing up at the table causing the silverware and crystal to shake. A few gasps at the outburst followed but mostly people just awaited Gio’s response, “Then why you were those shoes?” Jean hadn’t expected that. _My fucking shoes? What’s wrong with my shoes?_ “What?” Gio shrugged giving him an exasperated look, “Why you wear those laces?” “I….my shoes laces?” “They’re red and you wear black leather boots and jacket.” Jean looked to Marco who was desperately trying to figure out what was going on. His face was the same pleasant never offending face that was oh so Bodt. “I don’t understand what my shoes have to do with anything?” Gio put his fork and knife down on the plate, “The Neo Nazis, they wear the black boots and jackets with the shoes laces that mean they’ve spilled blood. Red mean’s you’ve killed a man like add a red bead to our rosary. If you’re not a Nazi, why you wear red shoe laces?” Jean gawked stuttering, “B-b-ecause I like red laces.” Gio gasped, “But, that’s horrible. That’s not fashion. We’ll get you something better tomorrow. No more red Nazi laces.” _No more red Nazi laces for me. Done._

**********************

Marco and Jean were shown to a room in one of the wings of the house. It was nice, polished red wood floors, Italian vintage wooded furniture and a few throw backs form the years in the way of a large tube TV and a few blankets from different decades, all tasteful which lent them the ability to stay with the rest of the house. Marco had been given a photo album of his father and mother. Marco had visited with relatives after the dinner and that had set him in a great mood. The man he’d stabbed would pull through and held no ill will against him and instead said “like father like son.” Jean was feeling the dreamy nature of this compound and it inspired him.

Marco had put the file to the side and was laying on the bed on his stomach watching the TV. He wore a simple white undershirt and white boxers. Jean had removed everything but his black tank top and black briefs. He traced the curves of Marco’s body with his mind’s paint brush. Jean decided to leave the questions about the packet to tomorrow and see if he could get something going tonight. He crawled over on top of Marco. “Ughffff You’re so heavy, babe. You ate too much pasta.” Marco giggled as Jean kissed his neck, “It was really good pasta.” He whispered into his ear kissing him still. Marco moaned quietly as Jean leaned back on his haunches massaging his back, “Babe?” “Mmmm?” “Wanna make love?” “Always.” 

Marco giggled into the duvet as Jean rolled him over, “Want me to strip for you?” Marco’s eyes widen as he tried to restrain the laugh that threatened to burst forth, “No! Haha! That didn’t work out real well last time.” Jean flushed, “Shush, babe. I was drunk.” Marco removed his shirt and pulled on Jean’s, “What if we just stay simple tonight.” Jean leaned down capturing Marco’s lips with his own. They moved with precise movements born from repetition. Their sex was familiar but not boring, no Marco or Jean always threw a little something in there that kept the other on their toes. Tonight Jean decided to do that flipping Marco over on his stomach pinning him down.

”Lube?” Jean asked sensually, “In my bag.” “Don’t turn over.” Marco smirked but didn’t disobey. Jean wasn’t a dominate person like Marco was. Marco had only begun exploring that side of him recently when he’d opened up with Armin over a few too many cocktails one night about what sex had been like between the three friends. Jean liked being told what to do but not by Eren and that’s why it hadn’t worked well. Armin, however, like doing both so Jean had been receptive to his instruction. He trusted Armin more in that intimate matter. 

Jean returned kissing down Marco’s back and pulling at the elastic of the boxers before removing them. He kissed Marco’s bottom, lightly biting the skin before burying his face between his legs. Marco jumped a bit, surprised and unsure what Jean was doing until, yes, he felt his tongue gently pushing at his entrance. It was delightfully dirty in Marco’s mind and he couldn’t believe that Jean would want to do such as rimming with him or anyone else.

Jean lifted Marcos hips up, spreading him wider for better access. His tongue swirled around the pucker dipping in and moving around coaxing Marco open. Marco bucked back on to him as he moaned. Jean’s strong hands help his legs in place and soon he was leaking on the bed. Jean pulled back taking the lube and slicking his fingers. He inserted one slowly, his hand reaching around to stroke Marco slowly as he stretched him further. Marco was face down, ass up on the bed while the TV continued to show some old sitcom from the 80s in fast and loud Italian. 

Jean removed his fingers after opening Marco inserting himself and pausing long enough for Marco to get used to him. Marco sighed, eye lashes casting shadows on his face, “You can move, babe.” Jean spread Marco’s legs wider, lowering his hips back to the bed and draping himself over him. His face fell to the crook of Marco’s neck and shoulder as he started thrusting, searching for Marco’s sweet spot. Marco whimpered as he found it, hands fisting in the sheets while Jean’s hot breath tickled his skin. Jean’s pants and occasional moans turned Marco on even more than the delightful feeling of Jean inside of him. He relaxed and let Jean take control.

Jean kissed his neck and nibbled his ear as his thrusts increased. Marco clenched around him to tease him. It caught Jean off guard causing him to still for a second or two. Marco could feel Jean’s lopsided smile on his back as his teeth grazed his skin. “That was mean.” He murmured, his voice aroused, “You’re always so mean to me.” Marco smirked, “I’m never mean to you, Jean. I am a just and fair person.” Jean laughed breathily speeding up, “Let me return the favor.” He reached beneath Marco pulling his hips as he sat up on his knees. Marco’s face stayed pressed in the sheets as Jean started pounding into him. His hand reached to Marco leaking erection and stroked in time with his thrusts. Marco felt heat pool in his lower stomach, the coil tightened as Jean’s breathing became more labored. “Marco, are you close?”

Marco was on the edge, “Yeah.” Jean stroked him just right, curving around and tugging roughly. It was the way Marco liked best. He couldn’t help but be pushed over, flooding with feeling and sinking into sated bliss. Jean finished a few thrusts later. Marco knew he loved to watch him come down from his orgasm before finishing. Jean’s heavy form rested on his back, their sweat mingling and cooling on their bodies while the TV played on.

Jean kissed Marco, pulling his face closer to him with his hand. They panted trying to catch their breath in the lamp light of the room. “What the fuck is this show even about?” Jean mumbled into Marco warm skin. “Hmpf,” Marco smiled fully, “I don’t know something generic I’m sure. I think it’s like _Three’s company._ Why?” Jean drug his lips across his shoulder, “I dunno, just curious.” Marco smirked, “Were you watching while fucking me? That’s rude.” Jean made an outraged face, “Babe!” Marco snickered. “Babe, I only watch you when we fuck. I only care about you. You are my focus, my everything.” Marco rolled his eyes blushing, “Dork.” They watched the show until they feel asleep draped across the bed in white sheets and multicolored covers. 

**********************

”Where are you going?” Marco was running to catch up to Jean, “Look at these paintings, Marco!” He motioned to the walls of paintings in the middle of the museum. “I see them, Jean. Are you looking for something specific?” Jean shrugged, “I want to be here one day, babe. I want you to be here. Right there.” He pointed to where a large painting was on display. “I doubt I’ll be here. These are old.” Jean looked amused, “Babe, we’re in the modern art section. You can totally move these around. I’ll promise you, right here is where you’re going to be.” Jean kissed Marco’s cheek slinging his arm around his shoulders, “Let’s go see the next hall.” And with that, Jean disappeared into the crowd as Marco shook his head in amusement. He loved Jean’s passion.

*********************

The ride to Paris was longer than normal due to refugee checks. “But, Where were Marilyn’s parents from?” Juerek drank his champagne, “Father was from Ireland. He was very wealthy and knew that after WWII there wasn’t going to much left in the country thanks to the intense rise of catholic hate crimes. He quickly married Esther and they came to land in England. The thing is, Schraeder isn’t her maiden name. Marilyn had forged passports as well and only until she got her citizenship in America did she become legal.” Marco and Jean turned to each other, “She was paperless. I bet, a thousand bucks, she’s a Jew.” Jean said with conviction, “But the state of Israel was founded in 1948. She would have had papers.” Marco said somewhat dejectedly. 

Jean’s statement would have tied things up nicely but it wasn’t it. “Marilyn met Gabriel when?” Juerek pulled out a cigarette, “When she was 18 in Germany. He was at a conference and they became fast lovers. They married within two weeks. It ended up being an easy and positive affair since she came from money and he came from money. They were also from small families. Most relatives died in WWII.” The train started moving, “Finally.” Jean muttered opening the slot at the top of the window, “Hey, asshole,” Juerek met Jean’s gaze, “Blow that shit out the window and stop filling the cab up. It’s disgusting.” Juerek’s face warmed, a breathtaking smile appeared, and there was amusement in his eyes, “Okay, Jeanek.” He stood up slapping the paper on Jean’s arm before blowing the white smoke out the window into the open land.

******************

Armin fiddled with his ring at the station. Jean and Marco were joining them for two days in the city and then they were leaving for a long weekend in Turkey. He stood at the pick up area while Erwin and Levi drank coffee nearby. Eren had run to the university to pick up something he’d left and would be arriving shortly. He felt his phone vibrate and the sense of dread he’d been squashing these last beautiful weeks returned. He saw the bathrooms and walked quickly, but not too quickly to them. Erwin watched him as he made his way and then turned back to looking for Jean and Marco’s train to arrive. “So, you two are sleeping together again.” It was a statement, as always. “You guessed or he told you?” Levi tch’ed, “I can tell. I’ve also heard complaints when we’ve visited from neighbors in the lift. You two are something else.” Erwin felt odd, like he was missing something, “You shouldn’t throw stones. You and Eren go at it all the time and Eren is like a bull horn he’s so loud. What’s wrong?” Levi gave him an incredulous look, “What?” Erwin shrugged, “Something,” he looked around the station, “feels wrong…” Levi clutched Donner’s leash tighter, _not with Eren._ “I need to piss.”

He handed his coffee to Erwin, “Let’s hope it’s not a bomb.” Erwin smirked, “Donner would have known.” Levi nodded, yes, Donner would have known. Donner was a constant. Levi walked into the bathroom and listened. It didn’t wake long with his skills to find the closed stall Armin was in. He heard him breathing through his nose and Levi could feel him in his marrow. Donner started to whine and pulled away from the door. Levi used his strength pushing the door open. 

Armin was against the tile, pale, and fighting a panic attack. Donner surged forward once Levi stepped inside closing the door. Armin’s eyes were watery and bloodshot, his lips quivered. Levi walked towards him taking him into his arms. “What happened?” Armin felt his mind swirl. Levi had him in his arms but when he felt the dead weight he knew he’d feinted. He held him up till he came back around, “My parents,” Could it have been that bad, “found out about everything and they want to press charges. Opa…he might be able to talk them out of it but they didn’t call from their phone and I thought it was….you know. They told me to kill myself.” Levi held him tighter to him, hand coming up to protectively hold Armin’s head, “Armin,” Levi’s voice wavered, “Armin, you’ve done so good this month. You’ve been so happy. This is how it is with Erwin, with us. We’re your family now. We are not going anywhere and they can’t hurt you or hurt Erwin because we’re bigger than them. We’re a tribe and you’re not the least important member. For us, Erwin and I, you and Eren are everything. We will protect you two at all costs. Look how wonderful things have been. They can be this way forever, will be forever.” Armin looked at the white tile and door to the stall. He remembered Eren telling him something similar and how one day _everything would be beautiful and nothing would hurt._

Armin wrapped his arms around Levi, “Thank you, Levi. I’m going to be fine.” He buried his face in the crook of Levi’s neck. “Levi?” Levi stroked his back, “I’m sorry.” Levi hugged him even tighter, “You don’t ever need to apologize to me, shefeleh.” Armin gasped slightly. _But, I do. I do need to._ “Levi,” was all he said as he calmed down in the stall. They entered the crowded platform once more to find Jean and Marco speaking with Eren and Erwin. Armin felt horrible but what Levi had called him had meant the world to him.

************

After trips to museums and tourist attractions they all collapsed at Erwin and Armin’s flat, exhausted and with bags of food they’d ordered to go from a restaurant up the street. Armin’s heart still beat a bit quicker when Levi looked at him. He called Eren ahuvi but for Levi to give a Hebrew or Yiddish name was apparently a sign of utter trust and love. He had hidden the nickname for Erwin deftly, never using it unless he was alone with Erwin and it taken Armin snooping to hear it. “Einayim sheli, (my eyes)” he said quietly as Erwin moved behind him in the small but adequate [ kitchen](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/15/cf/ff/15cfff946f0c377a2004108d4f2e9358.jpg) fixing the serving plates for the food. It may have been ordered but they wanted it to look nice. To have a nickname from Levi weighed heavy on him. It was blessing he didn’t deserve.

”Hey, fucker, you need to call Mikasa more. She’s worried.” Jean sat down on the sofa, “Like always.” Eren rolled his eyes, “I love her but damn. Did you know she and Annie are moving in together and still haven’t told Mom and Dad?” Jean snorted, “I guess she thinks you’ll keep the focus long enough for them to finish school, move off, get married, pop out a few kids, and look a decade later Mikasa is out as a lesbian and her wife is a retired gangster.” Levi turned around, “Annie was in a gang?” Jean nodded, “Yeah, Reiner, Bertolt, and Annie ran one. _Titan Trio_ is what they were called because Reiner is originally from the state and he thought it sounded cool. I guess it does have a ring to it.” Levi nodded, “Washington D.C.?” Marco slapped his knee, “Uh oh, did you have a turf war with them? A rumble?” Levi just stared, “Rumbles are only done when all persons have matching outfits and they are choreographed ahead of time. Learn your facts, animal.” Marco giggled delightedly at Levi’s burn, “You’ll have to lend me your gang etiquette books.” Everyone laughed and joined in the living room to eat.

”That ring is blinding. They both are.” Marco commented as he ate his chicken. “I’m very lucky.” Armin replied looking at Erwin as Eren agreed patting Levi’s knee. “Erwin, I didn’t know your middle name was Ziv. Is it a family name?” Erwin looked puzzled, “It’s not my name…” Marco continued to smile softly as normal but inside he was screaming. “Oh, sorry, what was it?” Erwin still seemed confused, “Uh well, I don’t have one. The military issues you a random letter and I got J but only Levi knows that.” Levi’s eyes were trained on Marco, gaze sharp like a dagger. Erwin shifted, “Where did you get Ziv? Is that even a name?” He looked to Levi who avoided the question finishing his beer. “Lee?” Erwin pressed, “It means _Bright, Radiant_ and it’s Hebrew.” Jean watched as Marco started to search for a way out of this, “You know, I think this is my fault. Remember, babe, I just said something like “I wonder if the Erwin even has a middle name it’s probably something like Ebakanezzer and he goes by zez or something?” Jean smiled slapping Eren on the back, “Anything is better than your middle name.” 

Eren rolled his eyes, “It’s pretty common among Christians.” Armin saw Levi’s face light with curiosity, “What is it?” Eren smiled, “Maria.” Levi snorted, “Oy that’s very goy.” He smirked as Erwin burst into laughter. Erwin turned to Jean, “Yours?” “Christopher.” He looked at Marco, “Rodrigo.” Levi snorted, “A gangster name if I ever heard one.” Marco nodded smirking as he sipped his wine. Armin turned to Levi, “What’s yours?” Levi rolled his eyes, “Velvel.” Armin bit his lip mumbling, “Means wolf, right?” Levi met his gaze, “Yep.” Armin pushed, “Attached wolf. That’s quite a name.” Levi nodded, “Yours?” Armin smiled, “OH God, its Axel. Armin Axel Arlert. I know, before you say anything. It’s tradition in my family that we all have A names.” Erwin smirked, “Oh my God, that’s intense. What would our kids be reduced to in names?” Armin’s nose wrinkled, “Well, I don’t think middle names are all that important but I’d like at least one to carry on the tradition.” He snuggled closer to Erwin, “They certainly won’t be without a middle name. That’s so weird.” Levi looked at Marco before getting up for more wine. They spent the rest of the night in peace enjoying each other’s company.

******************

”I am so excited!” Eren bounced up and down at the airport, “Have you been to Turkey?” Levi nodded, “Briefly.” Eren petted Donner, taking Levi’s hand and swinging it between them. “You know how much I eat? Well, when I was in Turkey I ate so much that they ran out of staples like flour and sugar at this restaurant and they gave me an award. My mother was horrified.” Levi smirked, “You do eat a lot. I can barely keep you fed.” Eren leaned his chin on his shoulder, “When we have kids do you think they’ll eat like me? Will you be sort of the motherly type?” Levi snorted, “Are you calling me the wife?” Eren’s brows furrowed, “No.” He looked honestly perplexed, “I’m just not good as a motherly type. I feel like if anything I’ll just be a big kid for you.”Levi smiled sadly, “Eren.” 

”I know, I know…the research is young but it looks promising.” Levi shook his head, “It’s in infancy.” Eren looked at his feet, “I just wish I could get pregnant and give you baby.” Levi huffed, his anxiety rising, _Everyone wants to give me a baby._ Hanji, Erwin, Eren. They all just want to give me a baby. I wish they could. “Hanji said that they used some of their placenta and my marrow in the last experiment.” They heard their flight called, “I suggested we look at bovine cells too.” Levi hummed, “You are very clever.” Eren laughed, “Jews have to be.” Levi’s smirk showed that he was beyond amused and satisfied at that statement. “Ahuvi, you are perfect in every way. I have no doubt from you we’ll make life.” They kissed before leaving the tunnel to find their seats. Erwin had trouble fitting on the small passenger plane of 15 much to Armin’s amusement.

”Too big, daddy?” Erwin sighed trying to figure out where he would sit. “You have to take the window, baby. It’ll be too low.” Armin snickered moving into the seat. “Put your arm rest up, too.” Armin ended up buckling him in. Erwin wasn’t happy for the two hour ride having to lean in the aisle for space. Armin held his hand talking about things to distract him, “So the battle of Hittan is pretty much all you need to know about in the crusades.” Erwin snorted, “Not the issuing of papal bulls willy nilly, no, the battle of the ditch. You worry me sometimes.” Armin slapped his arm, “It was a game changer in Islamic warfare.” “What about Zarah?” Armin gasped, “It’ll take days to discuss Zarah with you.” Erwin winked, “Good thing I’ve got a lifetime.” Armin blushed as Levi made vomiting noises behind them making Jean snicker and Marco hit him on the other side of the plane.

Once they landed they began a whirlwind of sight-seeing and visiting of Eren’s relatives. Eren had found that Hannes had stayed somewhat in touch with a few of them and they welcomed Levi with open arms. Of course, their engagement was downplayed since he hadn’t told his parents yet and Levi reminded him that here things were different. Homosexual relationship invited some negative attention and that could possibly lead to them being attacked by some hate group that the people were not a part of.

Jean lost himself in the bazaars with Marco becoming popular with the locals for his beauty. He made fast friends with all sorts and had a group of girls that followed him looking for his favor. Jean kissed him in the street under yards of lace surrounded by fabrics and paints. He sketched him on the grass as they ate lunch and even after they swam in the pool of Eren’s cousins. Jean and Marco made love under the stars more than once and he would treasure this time forever.

Erwin and Armin had toured like rich Germans. In fact, most thought they were German and they spoke it while they were there, getting better prices on goods and making friends with German Turks visiting family. Armin had captured the eye of a group of artists who asked him to model henna for them. The intricate designs on his pale skin were perfect for the photos they made. Once one of the women found out that Armin and Erwin were engaged they took Armin with them to a friend’s home where he was dressed in silks and embellishments all in white, crème, and pale silvers and gold. His hair was adorned with jewels and the henna designs expanded. His pants and shirt were cuffed in intricate embroidery so lavish he could cry. He looked like a vision in the stone house with heavy laden silver platters and accents. 

Armin was shocked by his own reflection but that was nothing compared to Erwin’s look of utter astonishment when the double doors opened and Armin showed off their handwork. Erwin couldn’t speak as he took in the magnificent creature before him. One of the women hid her smile behind her hand, “Güzel? (Beautiful?)” Erwin finally remember to breathe, “Güzel.” Erwin walked forward to inspect him closer, “This is so magnificent I can hardly believe you’re real when we’re in normal clothes let alone this.” Armin blushed, “I’d like this for when we get married. Just a thought.” Erwin nodded, “A great thought, as always.” Armin smiled sweetly, “Every day with you is a blessing. I am so utterly happy.” Erwin blushed and the women begged them stay to eat with them and so that they could admire their handiwork.

The days passed quickly and there were too many sweet moments to notice that time was slipping them by. Levi would skype with Hanji, often to see Mila and chart her growth and progress. She’d had a bad respiratory infection that had made him worry himself sick and Eren had stayed by his side in the bathroom soothing him. He was glad that Levi had such a large heart. He was also glad that Hanji was making positive strides in their research.

Marco’s father called to tell him that Ms. Kirschstein had been spending a lot of time at the house with him and they were thinking about moving in together. Jean had spat his half chewed Döner across the room, „What?! They’ve only been together a few months!” Marco nodded, “Dad, why?” Marco’s father said they were just thinking about it and hadn’t set anything in stone but they were dating and they were adults. At their age they knew what they wanted, they didn’t have to worry about the things young couples do because they had kids and they loved their kids. Ms. Kirschstein wanted a man around the house full time to help out and he missed having someone to come home to and dote on since Marco had left. They were lonely, but they also really cared for each other. They were looking at houses in both towns because if they were going to do this, they wanted a fresh slate. 

When Jean called his mother she told him that she wasn’t settling for just any old man. She could get a date and call up a “booty call” but she’d rather have her “Bodt booty” there full time. Jean had nearly had an aneurism. “Mama please, I don’t want to think about you and sex. If you’re happy then I’m happy. Just don’t get married. If you get married I can’t marry Marco in the future and it’s going to be hard explaining that to the grandchildren.” His mother had exclaimed in glee that he was planning on children and Jean resigned himself to another hour on the phone with his mother while Marco spoke to his father in Italian about the findings of the family on Erwin. He ended the call telling her about Eren and Armin but that it was of course, secret and she was ecstatic promising to text them and send gifts to the house.

**************

”This is where I was baptized. I was five or six.” Levi took in the cathedral, “That must have been a big deal.” Eren snorted, “Very. It was creepy with the priests.” “What religion are you?” Eren looked amused, “ _Was._ Greek Orthodox.” Levi enjoyed the intricate details of the cathedral but it was strange that Eren had been born into this sect. Why not Islam? “Islam?” He prompted as Donner panted from the heat in the room. Eren turned to face him, “They resisted. Some of my cousins are Muslims but they pretty much stayed true to their Orthodox beliefs. It’s one of the reasons why my mother and father are so intense. My father converted for my mother but he was already a devout Christian and he said when he came here it was like being wrapped in the Holy Ghost. I am going to break their heart when I tell them I’m converting.” Levi’s own heart broke a little, “Are you sure you want to do it?” Eren’s hands traced the smooth stone of the alter, “Of course, it’s what I’m supposed to do. This is my path and you’re my partner. I feel like I’ve always known this and that I’ve just always been searching for you. Do you sometimes feel like we’ve known each other, like in a past life?” Levi had felt that way. His dreams had frightened him. “I do. Let’s save that for another time and let’s go.” Eren smiled, “Yes, sir.” Levi and Eren spent the rest of the day making love, cooking with the locals, and debating about the secret lives of Donner and Commander when they’re together and no one is around.

*****************

The last night everyone gathered for a group dinner and made plans for the coming week. “We’re heading back to Paris and then on August 20th we’ll head back to the US.” Eren was stuffing his face as Levi looked on in horror at the gross display. “Armin and I are going to head back to Germany and then on to England again. From there we’ll head back to the states.” Marco brightened, “How was England?” Armin smiled, “It was amazing! Erwin took me to Churchill’s bunker and we rode the eye and took tours to other famous places! It’s amazing.” Marco looked to Jean, “We should plan a trip for England next. I’m jealous.” Jean shrugged, “Why don’t we go over Christmas? You know I’d love to see where punk was born.” He smirked haughtily and Marco rolled his eyes. “I think it’s time for us to turn in before Jean gets even more cocky.” They all parted for bed, dreading the morning when they must part for even longer.

Levi pulled Armin to the side, “Have they called?” Armin shook his head, “No.” Levi scanned his face, “Armin.” “No.” “Armin.” “I swear.” “Then they want us to go to Israel don’t they?” Armin shrugged, “Yeah, I think so. Hey, tonight I think Erwin and I are going to sleep in our room, okay?” Levi nodded okay. They’d been sleeping in the same bed, the four of them, while in Turkey. They wanted to be close together and Levi had wanted to keep an eye on them at all costs. Armin hugged him, kissing him as he pulled away. “Why?” Levi wouldn’t normally ask but he wanted to tonight. Why tonight? Armin turned smiling, “I want to fuck Erwin’s brains out. Gunna put on a real show for him after what I’ve learned in Turkey.” He winked and Levi snorted, “Alright, shefeleh. Goodnight.” Armin smiled brighter, “Lylah tov, Levi Zelvel.” The way his name sounded on his lips made Levi’s breath hitch, Armin was beyond comprehension.

*************

Erwin entered their room to the sight of Armin draped in delicate sheer and embroidered plum shawls. His ears adorned with golden earrings and nose a gold intricate septum piercing he had no idea he’d had pierced. His lips were a dark plum and his eyes shown. “Dildōrum biyō (Come my sweetheart). Az Badakhshōnume (I am from Badakhshan)” He’s wicked smile pulled Erwin in and soon his lips were crushed to that petite plum colored mouth and he worshiped his body as the silks fell away. With each kiss he felt himself become more and more sedated and once he was brought to blissful completion he held Armin as he drifted into a heavy sleep fully sated and happy. Armin leaned over Erwin’s heavy body, “I love you, Erwin Ziv Smith. You are radiant, golden, salt pure and god like.” Erwin wanted to say something, anything, move towards him, but he couldn’t. Soon it was all dark and mixed dreams of Armin. Armin with his mother drinking tea, Armin in clothes from all different time periods, Armin with Eren in Prussian army uniforms laughing as they sharpened their side swords, Armin in the rain in the woods covered in muddy runes, and Armin in a white uniform slashing down some giant’s back screaming. Armin was all he dreamed about.

******************

In the kitchen Eren and Marco were eating breakfast while Jean and Levi repaired a tear in Levi’s jacket over by the stove. It was getting late and they all needed to head to the airport. Not a peep had been heard from Armin or Erwin. Eren went into the bedroom to check on them and he found Erwin standing in the middle of the room, sheets torn, the room in disarray. His face pale as a sheet and eyes staring at the floor into the unknown, his hand clenched over his mouth. When he looked up and saw Eren he inhaled sharply, like a death rattle it startled Eren as such, and he removed his hand, mouth open neck red as he whispered, “They took him.” He dropped a piece paper to the floor before barreling out past Eren, out into the small living room, outside into the street where he ran aimlessly searching for him, his sweet boy, his baby. He would run into the abyss, into the pit full of yellow sand. 

_Az Badakhshōnume_

Eren began to pale, the sickening gut feeling that his words were true were not lost on him and his eyes began to tear up. His body shook with sobs and he raised his fist biting into the skin of his knuckles as he wailed soundlessly in the middle of the doorway. Jean and Levi were yelling but he couldn’t hear, couldn’t understand them. All sound began to fade into white noise as if a sound grenade went off. Numbly, he walked forward to read the paper:

**Biz şimdi onu almış.O Duvar vermektedir. Erwin bize katılın. (We have taken him now. He serves the Wall. Join us, Erwin.)**

Eren went over to the bedside table and picked up Armin’s ring looking at it long and hard before putting it on his keychain and pocketing it. He retched on the floor before the thrumming of his blood settled into a dull roar. _How could you?_


	34. Daw Da Hiya

**Two Weeks Later**

The bus moved over the pitted road bouncing the passengers along the way. A mother rocked her screaming child who had a fever. Another woman pulled the hijab over her once pretty face now swollen with bruises from some sort of violence. A man held on to his young son and daughter while his wife read a pamphlet. Other young men of working age stared at no place in particular save for a few at Levi whose pallid skin made him stick out. Eren sat next to him, numb. He stared at the seat’s pealing plastic cover in front of him before looking over at Erwin who was standing towards the front. He gave his seat to an older woman and the men had moved away from him in fear.

Erwin was only half a person right now. Eren watched as he scribbled down notes in a small pad much like Levi’s. He’d gone over the time line over and over. How could they have taken him? The first time he’d been on heavy painkillers but he woke up. He knew that something was wrong. Why take Armin and not him? He’d asked over and over weeping as Levi scanned the room and canceled plans and remade plans. He picked up everything and tried to put it in order for Erwin. Eren had remained quietly stunned until Erwin retreated into himself. He didn’t speak for the first few days and now it was a mix of blind rage, suspicion, and cunning.

It was all Eren could do to sort out what he’d saw, what he’d noticed, what he’ heard and even then should he present this information with Erwin the way he was right now? It might destroy him. It was destroying Eren.

**************

At the village Erwin moved quickly finding the elders and holding them at gun point as Levi translated his intentions punctuated by words and punches. Armin had crossed over the border to Syria. It wasn’t feasible for them to follow without planning things in detail. Erwin ended up taking out more information by force as Eren waited outside. “We may have to go into Syria. I want you to go home if that’s the case. I can’t risk you getting taken either.” Eren gave Levi a look, “What is it Eren.” Eren shrugged shaking his head. “Eren, you’ve been so quiet.” Eren chewed the inside of his cheek. “Let’s go, we should get to the station and move on if he’s killed one of them.” Levi agreed and they went to retrieve a bloodied Erwin and pull him to the station. 

*******************

Donner licked at Eren’s face in the hostel in Iran. “Iran isn’t what I was expecting.” Levi was hand washing Erwin’s shirt, “What were you expecting?” Eren was laying on the bed with Donner on his stomach, “I think I thought it would be more like Turkey. It’s a lot more…” Levi quit rubbing the fabric, “Crude. That’s the word you’re looking for. Where we are in Iran it’s been ravaged by war and politics. Its crude cement buildings are stark. The heat is oppressive. Children aren’t cute; they’re either helpless or sinister. This is where they’ve brought Armin.” Levi went back to straining the shirt before hanging it to dry. “Levi?” Levi paused over the white ceramic bowl, “Yes?’ Eren looked to Erwin’s empty twin bed. He’d gone out to get drunk more than likely and had asked that they let him search for leads, “Never mind.” Levi’s hands gripped the bowl, “Eren tell me what’s going on.”

Eren stared at the ceiling, “He left. They didn’t take him. He left with them.” The words lingered in the room as a breeze flittered through the window moving the curtains on the floor. Levi felt like he might pass out, “What are you talking about? That’s impossible!” He yelled covering his mouth, “Eren what are you-,” Eren was off the bed standing with fists clenched, “HE LEFT WITH THEM! Don’t tell me I’m wrong! I’m not! It’s all I’ve thought about these last two weeks. What would it do to Erwin if he knew? I couldn’t say anything.” Levi stayed at the bowl, “How?” Eren removed his keys, “Turn around Levi.” 

When he did he saw Eren holding Armin’s ring between two fingers with a trail of tears down his beautiful face, eyes wide and expressive. In his other hand was a piece of paper. He opened it, “It was under the ring,” he cleared his throat to keep the tears at bay, “this tiny piece of paper. It says “Don’t follow me. Move on.” He wrote this for Erwin but Erwin didn’t notice it because of where it was on the table obscured from view. I didn’t even think it was note worthy till I started searching the room. Their note was left on the door to their bathroom. He knew they were coming. He went with them freely.” Eren doubled over sobbing.

Levi felt the world burst. “That’s why he didn’t want to sleep with us. That’s who he was talking to on the phone. Oh God, this is my fault. I should have known.” Eren was on his knees, “Don’t follow. Move on” Eren laughed bitterly, “How could he do this? How could he do this!? Why leave when things were wonderful and when things were looking better? I don’t understand but he did and he doesn’t want to be found. I doubt I’ll find anything in his records.” Levi nodded wiping the sweat from his brow, “Yeah, that little shit was tenacious. He’s fooled me for months now.” Eren sobbed more, curling in on himself.

”What will Erwin do if he finds out Armin left?” The door opened, “He didn’t leave. You’re wrong.” Eren looked at Erwin from the floor, “He did, I’m so sorry.” Erwin’s eyes were hard, his mouth set in a sneer, “Don’t waste your breath. They took him. He’s in Dier ez-Zor. We leave in the morning.” Eren stayed hunched over, “Erwin, if he did go,” Erwin undid his belt slapping the leather like a whip cutting Levi off, “then we bring him back. I don’t care. He’s coming back with me.” Levi squared off with Erwin, “Our visas are limited for three months. We can’t stay past that. I know you’ve called our friends and I’ve called around to. We go there and what? We find him and then-“ Erwin pushed past, “We bring him back. Once he’s home then we’ll talk. Now shut the fuck up.” Erwin laid on the twin bed pulling the cover over him as Eren and Levi exchanged worried looks. This wouldn’t be good.

****************

”Where are you?” Eren tapped the bathroom door absentmindedly as Levi showered quickly. “Italy, we’ve got an address for you. It’s in the text. Write it down because-“ “I know, Jean. Thank you.” Jean sighed on the other line, “Why?” Eren leaned against the window over the toilet as he pulled the paint off the door, “I don’t know, kirschy. Are you okay?” Jean didn’t know how to answer, “He could die, Eren. They kill. He’s useful now but-“ “He’ll always be useful, Jean. Always.” Levi turned the shower off listening to the rest of the conversation. Tears hidden by the water, _Shefeleh, what have you done?_

“Erwin is going to lose it, Eren. Go home. Go home, please.” Eren shook his head, “I tore the ticket up. This is my fight too.” Levi wiped the mirror clean before leaning down and kissing Eren’s head, “You’ll be the death of me.” Eren snorted, “Sadly, no. Erwin will.” Levi kissed him again, “Never leave me.” Eren turned his face to look out the window before quietly replying, “I never will.” 

Levi and Erwin went into the hallway as Eren changed. They knew entering as three men would look to suspicious so Eren would go as a woman. He donned a hijab and wore loose fitting clothes that were feminine and flattering. The sun was high and it scorched. The ground was hard on their feet as they walked to the pickup point. Levi answered his phone as they waited, “Nile? Yes, we’re here.” A van appeared around the corner and when the door opened Eren saw two men in civilian attire but boxes of ammunition, wall to wall security cameras and other technology. They entered and were briefed.

Petre, the man driving, was their _leader_ and he filled them in on the plan, “We want Abulafia and we’ve been trying to get him for years. Nile said he’s got one your friends and we’re hoping that if you find him he’ll either lead us to Abulafia or be with him. You’ve got one chance. Once we let you out in the city you’ll be on your own with us as back up monitoring your positions. We’re your abstraction team, nothing more. We can get involved in this for political reasons. Nile is doing this as a favor and we, well, we were bored. They’ve killed our friends, not in Syria but in other countries where their cells are. They hide in the darkness and in the open. They’re not like ISIS with their newspapers. It takes forever to get in to their circles and years before one even makes it up the first tier. If we could use your friend-“ Erwin’s head whipped around, “He’s coming home. He’s coming home with us, no briefing beforehand. Nile will understand. You can do that from our home.” Eren cringed as the men exchanged worried glances, “Commander Erwin, I see you’ve not lost your touch. You’re just as commanding and menacing as before.” One of the men mumbled.

”Do I know you?” Erwin hissed at the man. “No, I wasn’t in your squad but I wanted to be. De Barra was my best friend, he was under you.” Erwin paled at the mention of the name. De Barra had been the one to fall ill and die while on a mission, Dysentery in Egypt. “I remember you. Do you have a hawk tattoo?” The man nodded, “You can call me Hawke.” Erwin turned back to look at no place in particular in the back of the van, “Don’t let us die, Hawke.”

Deir ez-Zor was the site of an Armenian death march during the genocide. After the civil war broke out census records were lost and the 200,000 residents were now gone, dead, or radicalized. Between ISIS and the Wall this was a hot bed of activity and Nile had a vested interest. Levi knew the Israelis were also looking to this rescue mission as a way in. The Wall provided support to ISIS, the PLA, PLO, and their appeal to those in academics ensured that their soldiers were not only fit fighters but lethal and intelligent. This is why the Wall wanted his serum; they wanted their men to be able to fight and more efficiently while the fear of death could be pushed further into the recesses of their minds. 

As they came closer Levi worried, how would they find him? Eren seemed to be confidant that he would be able to find him. Levi had dressed as a local, letting his facial hair grow in these last two weeks. Erwin had done the same but his blond hair and overall Nordic appearance might not help them any. Eren looked every much the part of a local woman and thus another fear blossomed in Levi’s chest. _Rape._

The van entered the city center and it couldn’t have been any more apocalyptic. Empty streets once full of cars, buildings crumbling, dust everywhere, children in the corners of allies fighting or playing with shells discarded. Levi’s chest tightened as Donner whined. “I know, boy. We’re going back in.” Donner looked to Levi whining more, “I know. I told you never again but Armin is in there. Armin.” Donner let out two short barks as Levi carded his fingers through his hair. “We’ll use Donner. Erwin do you have something with Armin’s smell?” Erwin dug in his back pack removing the orange sweater Armin wore the night he proposed, “Here.” Donner smelled the sweater whining again and barking. “He’s got it. Thanks.” Erwin clutched the sweater he’d been sleeping with these past two weeks. They had to find Armin.

The van stopped suddenly, “Bombs in the streets. Can’t go any further. I suggest you try the roofs like the locals.” Levi’s phone rang, “Shalom?” It was his manager wanting to know if he’d infiltrated and if he thought he’d get to take the shot. Levi hoped he would. “Who is it, Levi?” Erwin said the words accusingly, “No one important, an old friend.” Erwin snorted, “You are so full of shit.” They went over their plan once more before exiting the van and beginning the search.

Donner picked up a scent after traversing countless rooftops. They had already taken a good four hours and were now the center of attention. Men and Women were in the windows watching and a few were taking video recordings. Gun shots from fights could be heard echoing through some of the streets and some unfortunate soul had already gone down the streets with bombs nearly toppling them in the aftershocks. Eren had fallen, nearly sliding off the roof before Erwin caught him and pulled him back to safety, or what one would call the lesser of evils. Levi felt the full weight of how exposed they were to sniper fire. They were sitting ducks but Donner was hot on the scent of Armin and they couldn’t stop now. On this rood there was a very heavily locked door that led into the top floor of the building. Donner stopped, scratching at the door to let Levi know he was sure. Erwin stepped forward breaking some of the locks and picking the others. After another tense hour, into the apartment building they went. 

It was dark but they could hear music as they descended. It was definitely a cell meeting place with the men in various rooms watching propaganda videos and listening to impassioned speeches recorded or in person. No one paid them much attention save for Eren. He was more than once propositioned for a good time. He was asked where his husband was and after Levi surveyed the area a bit more he claimed him as his and they backed off physically but their gaze was heavy on Eren and caused him to feel hot and nervous. He suddenly became aware of what a woman must feel like in a man’s world.

Donner moved with purpose. Eren was on Levi’s heels as Erwin’s hand feel to his gun he had hidden. Here it wouldn’t have been odd for them to carry their guns out in the open since the others did. A fight here in this building meant death. Eren saw him first, sitting on the couch dressed in militant clothing, Kalashnikov over his shoulder. His hair shone in the darkness as he sat by a table of clearly important men who engaged him with fervor. He looked up meeting Eren’s eyes. They shared a glance before someone yelled in Arabic. He shook his head “no” when Eren bade him come. If Erwin saw him, that would be it. Armin dismissed himself from the group earning a few whistles and pats on the back as he confidently walked to Eren. He took Eren’s waist leading him outside the building on the street. Levi and Erwin watched helplessly knowing that their movements were being watched more and more closely as those who were familiar with one another asked about who they were and how long they’d been in the group. Levi was sweating and he could feel Erwin’s hand on the trigger, one bullet away from their salvation or death.

Armin pulled him to the side in the ally slamming him against the wall, hips pressed against his, as he leaned in to his ear, “Why are you here?” He hissed the words utterly disgusted. Eren felt the shock of those words slap him, “We’re bringing you home.” Armin laughed, his words biting and cruel, “No. Leave.” Eren grabbed on to him, “Armin,” his voice broke, desperate, “Armin, no, no, no, please come back. Why? I don’t understand.” Armin fought out of his grip, the words were effortless and convincing, “I want to be here.” Erwin appeared around the corner, “That’s not true.” Armin saw Levi also walk up, “Leave, go back to the states. I’m staying. Didn’t you see the ring? I don’t want to be with you.” His words were hot like iron and stung like venom. Erwin’s face showed an array of emotions, “You’re ring?” Eren gritted his teeth, “Come ON! You’re coming back.” Armin stayed fixated on Levi whose eye burned. “Tell him how you’re nothing but a body guard that’s supposed to protect him from Jamal al-Din Abulafia. Tell him or will the Shin Bet not let you now that you’re so close to finishing the term?” Erwin turned to Levi, “What? Shin Bet….Nooo.” He gasped, the pieces falling into place.

”Armin, stop it! You know that’s out of context. Why are you stirring the pot?” Armin kept him eyes trained on Levi. Armin’s words were low and steady, “They’re coming, aren’t they?” Levi bit his lip, “Yes.” Armin nodded closing his eyes, “Good.” Erwin looked to Levi, “Levi, why are they coming?” Levi looked at Erwin, “Because I’m supposed to protect you and kill Abulafia, the man I believe is the uncle you mentioned from your youth. He runs the Wall. He’s financing terror in almost every country. I was supposed to find out what you knew about him but you didn’t and then I struck a deal that if they’d let me I’d be your body guard in case he ever tried to hurt you or make contact. I’m sorry, I was afraid to tell you because I thought you might…” Erwin wasn’t looking at them anymore. He was looking over in the ally as a figure appeared in the windows, a figure he knew from his memory. “You’re supposed to kill him?” Levi studied his face, “Yes.” Erwin swallowed hard, “He might be my real father…” Levi’s eyes widened and then the first bomb of the Shin Bet went off. 

The blast took out half of the building on the furthest side from them. It was only a diversion and Levi quickly drew his pistol aiming for the figure in the window staring down at them that Erwin was focused on. The smoke started to fill the streets and things quickly escalated. Levi was about to pull the trigger when he felt the pierce of the dagger in his chest, through the ribs, near the heart, oh so close to the heart. He looked down, slow motion revealing stunning detail of the individual pieces of debris in the air and wisps of smoke from the bomb to see Armin as the wielder. _Shefeleh._ Levi collapsed as he withdrew the blade, Eren screaming and rushing to stop the bleeding. The second bomb went off and the screeching tires of the van were heard. Erwin was cut off from Armin who disappeared back into the building as the third bomb went off. His blond silky hair disappeared into the darkness like a dream fading into a nightmare. Erwin screamed but he couldn’t leave Levi and then the walls started to fall around them. 

The van doors opened and inside Levi was pulled in along with Eren and Erwin. They set to working on the bleeding and Eren prayed, prayed harder than he’d ever prayed that this would all work out and Levi would live. He felt so helpless and was overcome with a thousand lifetimes of grief and guilt. _Where is Armin? Why did he do this? I don’t understand._ He prayed for HaShem to give him the ability to understand this and understand how they could fix it and make it better. There was always a chance, there was always hope.

*************

In the hospital in Israel Eren sat in waiting room. It had been a week since Levi was stabbed and he’d nearly died twice. They said it was a miracle, the blade pierced just right. It wasn’t the wound that had nearly killed him but an infection they believe he’d picked up in Turkey. His anxiety had made it harder for him to heal and they had him heavily sedate. Erwin was also sedated. Between brief periods of time Eren and sometimes Levi filled him in on it all, on the past, on the letters, on the phone calls, all of it. They wanted to work it out, see where it had gone wrong and what had led to Armin leaving them for this group, this hostile radical group. 

Erwin held on to the sweater and Eren returned his ring saying he should keep it somewhere safe till Armin returned. Surely, they would get him back. Armin must have some grand plan in mind they just can’t understand yet. That had proven to be the most accepted theory and when Jean and Marco had arrived they also added a glimpse into his inner workings revealing the paper trail of questions Marco had been asked to submit. Yes, Armin had a grand plan and soon they would understand.

In the small white tiled hall outside of Levi’s room Erwin stood before the door about to open it when a man approached, “Are you Erwin Smith?” He asked in Hebrew and Erwin said yes, “I am sorry for your loss.” He handed him a card and Erwin opened it to the nice black print in English and Hebrew: 

**Certificate of Death: Armin Axel Arlert. Body cremated, ashes stored at Mt. Sinai Hospital.**

Erwin slid down the wall clutching the paper. “Baby.”

_Daw Da Hiya, her passion drove her wild. Daw Da Hiya, her love was suicide._


	35. Six Months Living With the Devil

Even after a month they still had no answers. Erwin and Eren had gone to see his ashes, to remove them from the cold metal box they were kept in alongside others. When Levi was well enough for them to leave he joined them as they scattered the ashes on the mountains. He sang Kaddish and Eren joined him.

Before they left Rabbi Berkovitch called to tell him that there was a man that would finish the conversion for him. He went to a synagogue in the Old City where he was bathed in cleansing waters, wore the tefillen, and recited his prayers with new determination. He was lost without Armin and the only thing that got him through it was knowing he'd soon see him again. Levi refused to light a candle for Armin. He refused to sit Shiva and booked their tickets to leave during the mandatory grieving period. His grief was too much and every time he looked out over the city he remembered the sorrows of his people. He was doomed to lose those he loved, doomed to be a nomad, doomed to be resilient in his ability to always somehow live another day. He hated this curse of life that his chosen status had blessed him with. It would seem that Eren was now having his own taste as he heard him recite the Kaddish every morning for Armin. 

It was this morning as classes resumed in full and Eren would begin his first semester in vet school that Levi turned over in the bed next to him taking his hand and kissing it softly. "Ahuvi, we must try to understand, for you, for me, and for Erwin. Eren finished his prayer, a tear escaping to frame his face, "I know." Levi curled around Eren pressing close and stretching out his arms to wrap around him, "He's sick."

Erwin had not spoken since the day they scattered the ashes. He barely ate, had been threatened with a feeding tube and thus was on a strict schedule with Hanji who was everyone's attending physician in the house. Jean was lethargic as well, his light didn't shine as bright and Marco worked feverishly with Levi on a course of events. He had even set his own men on it to make sure Armin was really dead but they kept finding evidence to support that he was which Marco kept to himself and filed it away. He was even presented pictures once of a mangled and decapitated young blonde man who looked just like Armin. He tried to pretend it didn't bother him. He tried to pretend that if that was him he had not died in pain but he knew he did.

Petra stopped by often to tend to things in the house and Eld helped Levi with the landscaping and he tried to get Erwin to open up but it was useless. Erwin was completing his course work without taking on TA positions and in all honesty it was just a distraction for four hours out of the day more than a real sign he was moving on. He refused to go to the bookstore where Armin worked and he often studied. He refused to go places that made him think of Armin but of course the house was a constant reminder. His clothes still in the closet, shoes in their place by the door, but Commander searched for him, cried for him, and appeared to mourn with Erwin by staying by his side and in his lap. Thus the months passed like the rolling of waves on the shore, breaking violently and shattering the shells beneath them on the coarse sand.

**Five Months Later**

Hanji and Mike came over for a BBQ celebrating an award Eren had received for his bovine cell research. He was making strides in his field and over the Christmas break they had all returned to Turkey for him to study his vaccine in the cows in rural areas. It was a failed serum that turned into a game changer with herd immunity. It prevented the cows form diseases without making their bodies build up a resistance to the medicine and later after they were slaughtered giving their consumers a higher chance of contracting a pan resistant virus or infection. Levi had swelled with pride as Eren walked across the stage at the university to receive his award. His parents had come and for once they had all eaten together, talked, and planned. His mother remarked on the ring and Eren’s father had asked if Levi had ever wanted to run a hospital since that was something they were expecting Eren to have a role in doing as he got older but it would appear their future son in law was more interested in the health of humans than their son. Levi’s heart had warmed at their mention of future but he knew Eren hadn’t told them he’d converted yet. That loomed over them as they spent time together but other than that they had a really good time; well, as good as they could manage. Armin's absence was still great and weighed on them all heavily. 

Erwin sat on the porch as everyone was bundled up standing by the grill or over by the fire pit. Hanji walked out on the porch holding Mila wrapped in a huge pink fur jacket, her curly brown hair framed her face as she held on to her mother pulling gently at her hair. At nine months old she stole the show with her radiant smile and large green eyes. Hanji turned, "Erwin, there you are. Since you're sitting up on the porch would you mind-" Mila turned reaching out for Erwin, "Haha well looks like Mila is asking for me. Would you mind sitting with her? The wind is a bit too much to take her out to the fire pit." Erwin nodded holding his arms out to take her. Mila was wearing the dress that Armin had gotten her after she was born. It was a winter dress made of white lace and ribbons. It looked stunning on her skin and Erwin felt himself smile at the memory. Mila grasped on to Erwin, looking up at his bearded face and sticking her tiny fingers in the course and curly hair.

Erwin held Mila with care making sure she was secure as she cooed and sputtered. Her long lashes kissed her cheeks and Erwin felt himself laugh softy as she inspected his glasses. He'd lost a lot of weight over the months, his muscle mass was resisting the brute force after spending months in a cell being beaten and starved it was resilient. He thought that cruel considering how much he just simply wanted to die. No one said anything to him about removing Armin's things form the room or the house. No one wanted to do that. They all lived much like he was still alive but simply on a trip. They never spoke of him except in hushed voices about good times. Levi had started crawling into bed with him to make him sleep. Erwin would find himself cocooned between Levi and Eren. They'd started begging him to go to a therapist but he wouldn’t. What could a therapist tell him that he didn’t already know? Armin was what his heart beat for and now it was only half alive and only because of Levi.

Levi appeared leaning on the back on the chair, “She’s amazing.” He leaned over capturing one of her hands, “So sweet and tiny. Erwin, what do you think?” Six months, six months since he’d heard Erwin’s voice. Erwin lifted her higher making her smile. He repeated the motion until Levi swooped down kissing her. She giggled loudly, happy to see her uncle Levi who had tried to spend as much time with her as possible since they got back. Levi kissed her cheeks before pulling back and seeing the sweet smile on Erwin’s face. Smiles were rare and normally followed by tears. Levi cupped Erwin’s jaw meeting his gaze, “Erwin, you’re smiling.” Erwin shrugged as Levi leaned down to kiss him, “I wish you would smile more…I wish you would talk to me.” He whispered against his lips. Mila squealed in delight moving to inspect the ties of Erwin’s jacket and show them to Levi who showed delight and passionate interest in them. 

Levi stepped inside the house, opening the door to his office. His phone rang and he checked it noting the number. “Shalom?” Levi sat down on the chair before the most intense night in recent history began.

"What do you mean? How is that.....you've.....I don't understand." Avraham's voice was smooth like honey, "We need you to come and find the contact. They need to be extracted and we want to use the serum to test its benefits. We know you've managed to make a shortened version of it. Use it, finish this Levi and get revenge for your friend." Levi tch'ed, "This guy, who is he?" "She, actually. We don't know much but she's great though. We've been in contact for the last month and she has led us to many cells and even allowed for the extraction of some other deep cover operatives. She'll need the extraction more than anyone if what she's told us is true." Levi scoffed, "Ha, _if_ what she's said is true. You don't know if it's not. How has she infiltrated them if she's a woman? They'd never..." Avraham shuffled papers on the other end, "They're pretending to be a very devout man. They never undress and they never pee in front of the others. We're very, very impressed with their ability to keep cool and they've managed to climb the ranks and they work under Abulafia as a trusted advisor. They may know what happened to your friend's mami (baby). In fact, I'd put money on it because they entered just before the indecent." 

Levi's heart hurt at the mention of Armin every time, it stung him, he traced the area where the dagger had pierced him. Not for the first time did he jump when he saw what appeared before him. Armin and his shining eyes and golden hair drew his attention, sitting on the couch with a book and his head leaned back, thin neck tantalizing and smooth, his lean form hugged in flirty suggestions. He met Levi's gaze, impish look to his features as he winked, "I was a heart breaker, wasn't I?" He giggled before returning to his book. 

"Levka, Levka?" Avraham's voice was persistent but all Levi could hear was Armin’s singing, _"You talk lots, about God. Freedom comes from the call, but that's not what this bitch wants, not what I want at all. I want money, power, and glory."_ "Levka, listen I've sent you the details and you should destroy the email afterwards as per usual. _"The sun also rises on those who fail the call. My life comprises of losses and wins and fails and falls..."_ The line went dead as Levi stalked closer to Armin, "I can do it if you really, really like that. I know what you really want ba, ba, baby." Levi reached out to touch him as he turned his face back snapping the book closed, _"Dope and Diamonds, dope and diamonds...I want money and all your power and all your glory. Hallelujah, I'm gunna take them for all that they got. Ha ha halle-luuujahh..."_ Armin sat up on his knees on the couch turning around fully as Levi's fingers ghosted closer and closer, "Levi," his voice sounded exasperated, "You know I'm not really here." and then he was gone....and not for the first time did Levi realize that he'd snapped somewhere back there in Badschi. Somewhere along the way in his grief he'd started seeing Armin, hearing Armin, and then Armin started following him and offering his thoughts on conversations. No, his apparition was no longer silent and meek, nor shadow and smoke, it was alive and talking, it would not be ignored.

Levi went into his email reading it thoroughly before deciding that he'd do it. He go and extract this person and then they'd know what had really happened to Armin and perhaps this ghost would go away. He also decided that for Eren's sake he'd go ahead and make a preemptive move in case he, in case he... _In case I what? Die?_ He printed the boarding passes out, made notes for his affairs and sent off an attachment to Hanji who'd been serving him as support since they got back. It was strange having them as Shin Bet with him. He was used to holding all the cards. Now they could talk to him about classified materials and run errands for him. Not to mention many in Israel had been delighted to find out that Levi and Hanji had made an artificial womb using their own pregnancy experience, Eren's bovine cell research, and Levi's serum to bring it all together. They were now hoping to find away to house the womb and to get Eren's germ cell and Marcos to come together successfully for further testing. Things were going well for them all academically speaking. 

Erwin's book had been published and was a best seller, sweeping through markets with renewed interest. His testimonies were fresh to those in the field and made for a good read. He'd dedicated the book to Armin. It had a picture of them all on shores sunbathing. It was displayed in the university, in the papers it had spent weeks in the review columns for best summer and winter read. But, nothing really took the bitterness out of the fact that most of those sources came from Armin insisting they go to Dafna and David Toulouse's shop where a friendship had been forged and stuck because they often shipped things to them all for personal use and pleasure. He reached for the copy that was on his desk when a hand coverd his own, “Don’t take it out. I want to read it again.” Armin said lovingly, “It’s marvelous, no? Just like Erwin.” He lifted his head looking down at Levi. After a brief second his eyes closed as he smiled and lifted the book up to hold it to his chest. “Levi, why can’t my daddy see me?” He looked so sad and after a long while of his crying he disappeared. Levi felt the world suddenly spin as an attack threatened to rear it's ugly head. He didn't even want to think about what Erwin might do when they were gone or worse, if he wanted to come with them and now with Levi’s hallucinations increasing and manifesting there was no telling what Levi might do or say and what if that affected Erwin and his recovery. No, Armin was going to be the death of him and everyone if he continued to haunt him and none of the secrets around his death or decisions were ever revealed. Levi heard his giggle fill the room and he wiped his face with his hands groaning. 

Levi leaned over clutching the desk and feeling it on his hot face. He looked at the sheen from the lacquer and thought to himself, _why the fuck not?_ Levi went to their shared office’s bathroom, pulling out a key from beneath the lip of the counter and opened the bottom left drawer of the vanity. He pulled out a large bag of coke and a bottle of Jaeger and Jack. Both of which he'd not want to drink warm but wouldn't care once the coke hit. _I'm just done with being responsible and mature. Let the drunken debauchery begin._ He spread out seven good sized line and did them all before turning the Jaeger up and grimacing at the warmth. At least it was a much more palpable taste than the biting Jack Daniels. Armin sat on the counter when he finished snorting up and ran his fingers through Levi’s inky hair singing:

  
__  
”Oto shir ke'ev holech v'chozer (The same song of pain, over and over)  
Uv'ofek acher (And in a different plane)  
Saviv shulchan haShabat (Around the Shabbat Table)  
Yoshvim kol halaila (Everybody sits together)  
Ata va'ani (You and I as well)  
Shalvat Olamim (Worlds of calm)  
Pardes Chana-Karkur (Pardes Hannah-Karkur)  
Ekalpytus Baruach (A lonely eucalyptus)  
Shorek Blues Kna'ani (Whistles Canaanite Blues)”

Levi looked up to meet his stare. Armin’s pouty lip stuck out cutely. Levi had always felt a connection with him and he missed the light airy and somewhat charged atmosphere he brought to their friendship. “I have a question.” Levi stared before saying, “What is it?” Armin leaned in whispering, “Who are you _attached_ to?” Armin’s breath was colder than death itself and smelled like poppies. It left Levi momentarily stunned before he closed his eyes and turned back to the mirror where Armin’s reflection should have been but wasn’t. “Why don’t you have a reflection? Even if you’re just a hallucination you should still have one. The brain would just fill you in.” Armin smirked, his cold hands still carding through his hair and then massaging the back of his neck. He scooted closer, the fabric of his shorts rubbing against the soap stone countertop. He leaned in kissing the skin beneath Levi’s ear and jaw. His mouth still open he drug his lips up to his ear to whisper, “That’s because there’s nothing to reflect. I’m not Armin.” Levi’s body shook, the hairs stood up all over and the sense of dread that filled him rivaled some of his darkest moments, “W-who are you?’ His voice shook and broke. Armin moved closer before inhaling through his parted lips, “The devil, Levi. I’m the devil and I reign supreme here, everywhere, and even in _the atrocities that man commits._ ” And then he was gone and Levi nearly pissed himself.

**************************

Outside Eren and Jean played with Mila. But as the night became colder and they moved inside where Mike and Hanji began tidying up and getting ready to leave. "Where is shorty?" Hanji's voice rang out dripping in false innocence. Eren smirked, "Uh, actually I don't know." He turned to Jean and Marco who both shrugged. Erwin had come inside with them and was now sitting on the couch looking around for Levi too. Eren stood up holding Mila, "Let's go find him, motek (sweetheart)." Eren climbed the stairs with a cooing Mila. "He's not asleep. Hmm or in the bathroom." He started checking other rooms, "Where is he, motek? Do you know where Levi is?" Mila sputtered more but clearly knew who Levi was by the reaction to him name. Hanji loved that she got so excited to see him. Eren opened the door to the joint office and found Levi laying on the designer couch high as a kite and three sheets to the wind. "Ahuvi," he slurred. "Levi, what the fuck?"

Levi shrugged or tried to. He'd laid off the coke and drank even more thus slowing him down into a low that just kept pulling him like quicksand. "Don't let Mila see me." He waved Eren off. Eren was a bit shocked, "You care that Mila, a nine month old, sees you out of it but not your fiancée? I'm quickly seeing how I rank here." Levi tch'ed, "Take her to her mother." Mila stretched her arms out to Levi, "You just gunna leave her like that?" Eren said a bit motherly, "Poor little motek, Levka is tired. Let's give him a kiss goodbye?" Mile and Eren kissed Levi as he lay on the couch, "When I come back up here we're going to talk." Eren said walking to the door, "Noooooo I don't want a talk.' Eren smirked but didn't let Levi see, "Well, we are so you better sober up." Levi rolled over on the couch, his back to the door. He didn't want an argument and he definitely didn't want to sober up, in fact, he was past the point of no return.

"Levi is asleep in his office. He woke up long enough to tell Mila bye." Eren lied through his teeth catching the look of Jean who always knew, just like Armin had. "Ohhhhh whaaat but it's early! Go wake him up, naw just let me." Mike reached out taking Hanji's hand, "Han, I'm sleepy. We're old. Levi's no different. Let's get on back to the house. Levi stocked the fridge the other day again and this time there was pie." Mike smiled fondly thinking about it. He liked a lot of things but Hanji, Mila, animals, and Levi's cooking were his favorite. Mike turned to hug Marco who had been in the kitchen and missed out the first time. "So, it's okay with both of you, for real?" Hanji and Mike smiled, "Of course, thank you so much for asking." Jean sauntered over like a feline, "What did you ask, babe?" Marco winked, "Wouldn't you like to know." Jean took Marco in his arms, "I always want to know what's going on in that pretty head of yours, amore." Jean wiggled his eyebrows up and down making Marco laugh. That was one thing Marco was glad for, Jean's humor. It had served them well in these dark months but their ability to bring some sort of fun to the house had help boost moral overall, well, in the exception of Erwin who humored them but only because he was right there and never spoke anymore.

Erwin didn’t speak but he wrote with Marco. Tiny notes to long papers, he answered Marco’s questions about the book save the questions that naturally wanted to come out about Armin, the incident, how he was doing. None of that was discussed and Marco could only hope that their exchange was helpful and healing. It saddened him to see Erwin staring at the ring box on the nightstand before he went to bed every night. He even changed out books on Armin’s side of the table every week. Jean couldn’t go in their room and Marco often woke to the sound of him sobbing. His art had become fixated on Armin and his role as Achilles had taken on new levels of symbolism but in this case, Achilles was held in the arms of Patroclus as he wept openly. Eren’s face an exact mirror that haunted him since he saw it.

Jean and Marco stole away to the media room to watch a movie and sit among the warm blankets. Jean had already gone downstairs as he heard the front door finally close signaling that Hanji and Mike had left. When Marco crawled into the covers Jean hugged him close, nose digging in Marco’s hair as he inhaled him, “Marco, what did you ask Hanji and Mike?” Marco smiled, “Promise not to overreact, okay?” Jean’s arms tightened as he smiled, “I can’t wait.” Marco’s hands rubbed along Jeans arms, “I’ve written a children’s book called “Mila Pamila the Bambina and I want you to illustrate it. I doubt it will go anywhere but Yvonne really liked it and she knows a publisher who is in need of children’s stories and I just wanted to ask if it was okay that I use Mila and you use her likeness. I actually started writing it as a distraction and as gift for Mila’s first birthday.” Jean was ecstatic, “I’d love to do the illustration, babe! Babe, that is wonderful! Thank you for asking me to do it. What if it gets famous and you do book tours and then more in the series!? Oh! Mila could grow up with her own book series! Does Mila have a family?” Marco laughed freely and warmly, “Of course she does! I’m not Disney. I didn’t kill everyone off. She has a mother and a father, a dog and a cat, and some crazy uncles…” Marco’s voice trailed off on uncles and he realized something he’d blindly tried to forget.

Jean held his breath when he figured it out as well. Obviously, he was inspired by life and the way Mila’s world was since her birth. Armin and Erwin would naturally be a couple in her life and now he faced the horrible dilemma of choosing to include Armin as a character or leave him out because of the discomfort it may and would cause. He bunkered down in the covers turning in to Jean, “Marco,” Marco looked Jean in the eye, “I don’t think,” his voice a faint whisper and sincere, “that I could be as strong as Erwin is if you died. I feel the hole in my heart grow everyday that Armin’s not here but if you died, Marco, I would wish to die because I am weak and would not want to feel the pain for the rest of eternity. That pain is so real to me, it’s like I’ve felt it before. Losing you would wreck me. Maybe in the past, if you believe in things like that, I was able to do it, live. But then surly Armin had lived along side me because I just…I’m barely healing and the little I am doing is thanks to you.” Marco wiped his tears, “Jean, somehow it’s all going to get better and I love you. Let’s watch something happy.” Marco giggled as Jean tried to bring himself back down, “Babe, let’s make out like raunchy teenagers.” “We are teenagers, Jean.” “Babe, don’t ruin the vibe.” “There was no vibe to ruin, dork.” “Baaaabe, shut up and kiss meeee.” They laid among the covers enjoying each other until they fell asleep to cartoon and the hum of the heater. 

*****************

Eren had looked to Erwin after Hanji left, “Levi’s high and drunk. I mean, he’s laid out on the couch just saturated in debauchery.” Erwin for once had an amused look, “Wanna go see?” Erwin moved to push off the couch and follow Eren upstairs. Erwin noted that Eren had become slightly taller and had started filling out more, becoming broader and more masculine. His hips still remained feminine and captivating and his long tan legs looked like chocolates ready to be eaten. He was exotic, beautiful, and he always reminded Erwin of a much more outwardly emotional Levi. When they were alone it was comfortable and he spoke more than Levi would have and didn’t appeal to him from a place of familiar sadness. He tried to do other things to brighten Erwin’s day and when he touched him it was electric like Levi but with a more youthful and carefree edge where Levi had always felt raw but controlled. Eren was decadent but Armin, Armin was divine. It was fitting that, even if only for a time, both men had found lovers like they did. He wasn’t angry that Levi still had Eren, no, not at all. Levi had Eren and Erwin had both of them. That was the only thing that kept him going. Levi and Eren.

Eren opened the door and Levi was still turned away, lines of coke on the table and the Jaeger nearly gone. Eren snorted walking inside with Erwin quickly taking the arm chair. Eren turned Levi over straddling him, “Why?” Levi reached up taking Eren’s face, “I just wanted to. Don’t give me shit, ahuvi, please.” Eren smirked, “For penance I’m going to take your coke and then jump in the shower. I’m all dirty.” He teased as leaned over doing a few lines and then standing up to head to the shower. Eren’s fingers ghosted over Erwin’s shoulder giving it a teasing squeeze, “Both of you can join if you want or just find me in the bed.” And with that he was gone. That’s how it was between them now. 

Once they were four and then they were three. Levi and Eren had avoided Erwin, hiding themselves from him because they thought about what they would feel like. For the first three months Erwin slept alone in his bed and they knew that he’d die like that, in his sleep, starved for touch of some sort. They’d never come to him expressly for sex and in truth he was never in the mood. That was something all couples had had in common. They had gone through the motions those first months just trying to heal each other as best they could and sex had been a great tool that let them feel closer. Eren would kiss the scar that was left of the dagger that almost pierced Levi’s heart before they fell asleep. Who would kiss Erwin’s wounds? Levi had been honestly so relieved that Eren suggested they start sleeping in the same room as Erwin that he’d cried. He’d been sneaking in to his room on and off to find him either not sleeping or fearing that Eren would wake and feel abandoned. Armin was a crucial part of his friend’s life but his loss affected Jean and Eren even deeper. 

Erwin’s degenerating form had started to weigh on them all but after a few weeks of them sleeping in the room with him Jean and Marco both noticed a change, however slight. When Levi reached for Eren he reached for Erwin, too. It was pure instinct; it was survival, perseverance of their small tribe. He hadn’t minded that Erwin didn’t really get involved. He was reassured just by watching his strong now colorless fingers trace the silky smooth skin of Eren’s body alongside his own. Maybe, one day, Erwin would come back to them.

Levi sat up, he wasn’t sure if he was going to throw up or not. Once he gave it some thought he deemed himself okay enough to speak, “Do you want to do some?” He looked over his shoulder, his back to Erwin, to see him shrug. Levi studied his face before moving off the couch. He grabbed a smaller section of the bag putting it in his hand and moved into Erwin’s lap resting his forehead against Erwin’s. His voice was low and soft, like the beginning of a great song of the ages, “Einayaim Sheli, ani ohev otcha,” Levi kissed Erwin who responded somewhat enthused. When he pulled back he put a line on the back of his hand that Erwin did and then another till they finished the bag. Levi’s head fell to the crook of Erwin’s neck, 

  
”Az Badakhshōnume (I am from Badakhshan)  
Ōrōmi jōnume (You are a piece (or the peace) of my soul)  
Ba peshi man (Towards me)  
Biyō, biyō (Come, and come)”

Erwin wrapped his arms around Levi nuzzling him as he sang. Erwin had sung this song so many times to Levi it was second nature. When he did it Levi had come back from the barrack where he danced with a shiner. Erwin’s jealously had become so intense he’d been banned from the place. They were teetering on the edge of sexual tension, love, and hate. He heard the song and thought of the dark horse of the unit and his grey mesmerizing eyes. Levi limped into the room, over to his bed where he stripped and climbed in. He listened as Donner whined and Levi started to exhibit signs he was getting too close to an attack. Silently he climbed in the bunk with him wrapping his arms around him and pulling him to his body. He pressed his nose to the nape of his neck inhaling the smell of cigars, booze, and sex but underneath was the clean water smell, mint, and almost something metallic like Eren had mentioned before. He hummed and then sang the song lulling them to sleep for the first time but not the last. 

  
“Dilbari jōnume (You are my soul mate)  
Mōhi tōbōnume (You are my shining Moon)” 

Erwin picked Levi up carrying him to the bed room. Levi’s legs were weak and he was twitchy from the recent burst of energy. Erwin grabbed the Jack Daniels turning it up before they walked in. Eren hadn’t been in the shower long when he heard them. Erwin laid Levi on the bed before stalking in to the bathroom where he took his anti-depressants, anxiety pills, and a plethora of others. He stole a glance at Erwin who was playing it up for him. It was yet another reminder of when Armin used to play up for him. The ache was dull but it was felt through his entire body. He still admired Eren’s fervor but wished that in the other room Armin would be there putting on an equally alluring show.

That night when they laid down Eren moved over Levi who was blissfully numb and more than content to be showered with affection. Erwin was merely content being a bystander and when they all fell asleep he thought that they he might actually have a night of peace. Eren moved to his side, face pressed against the pillow cutely and Levi curved in to his back protectively reaching around to touch Eren with his finger tips. They’d stopped letting him sleep on the side because he’d get up and stay awake all night roaming the house or worse. Levi was always watching him for signs of suicide and it made him feel bad to watch his face pale when he’d thought the worst and Erwin was only in his study reading.

But that night he woke in a cold sweat and wanted nothing more than to go to his study and read. He moved out of the tangle of limbs and went to the joint office first looking for a book he’d left. He saw a sticky note Armin had made reminding him about various things like their joint email account password, the next time he had a doctor’s appointment, to look up a recipe they saw, and of course he always ended them the same: I love you. Your baby.

It was true what they say. To be left behind when the one you love dies is the true tragedy. He’d love Armin forever. He’d always loved him.

*****************

The next morning Levi woke Erwin and Eren up in a rush. “I need you two to get dressed now and I’ll explain later.” Erwin and Eren both threw on some clothes before being rushed out to the car. Donner laid down in the back with his blanket and chew toy while Eren leaned over the back seat petting him. Erwin sat up front holding his coffee between his hands warming them. The winter was colder than the previous and he thought about how happy that would have made Armin who loved the winter so much.

After driving for almost two hours they were in Atlanta and Eren was thoroughly confused, “Did you need to come to Atlanta for work? Is this supposed to be a surprise or something?” Levi made a turn into the Israeli consular office’s parking lot before parking. “Eren,” he began looking in the rear view mirror, “I have to go to Israel for business. Actually, I have to go to then head in to Gaza for an extraction of an informant. They picked me because this informant may have met Armin and have some answers for us. I brought you both here for a few reasons.” 

He looked to Erwin who merely stared out at the building before reaching over and taking his hand, “Eren, inside we’re going to get legally married because then they can give you a passport and if anything happens to me then you’ll be able to have access to absolutely everything and I mean _everything._ I’ve already sent my consent in. Erwin is our legal witness and he’s also getting a passport today and clearance.” Erwin’s head snapped to look at Levi. “Erwin, I knew you’d come and this way it’s legal and you’ll be able to meet them after I extract them and keep an eye out for my brat back there while he’s in Israel setting up with Hanji about our research.”

Eren simply nodded as Erwin slowly took his seat belt off and they got out of the car. This wasn’t a bad thing in Eren’s opinion but he did wish that Levi had given him more notice. When they were inside the building a woman greeted them and then they were rushed from station to station. Erwin seem familiar with the process and in truth his package of information had been kept up to date and the issuing of his passport only took an hour. Eren’s journey was bit more complicated. He was made to sign countless documents, had interviews and briefings, his conversion was taken into consideration and Berkovitch was called to give a statement. He was technically gaining his passport under the law of return and his marriage made his legal status in regards to Levi’s work secure. 

When it came to the marriage a short signing was all there was. Things didn’t become interesting till Eren told Levi he wanted to take his last name. “Don’t you just want us to hyphenate it like Mikasa?” Eren wrinkled his nose, “Ackermann-Jaeger is a long name. Think of our kids, they’ll have to learn to spell it.” Levi rolled his eyes, “It’s not that hard and our children will hopefully be very intelligent and spelling won’t be an issue.” Eren was fighting mad at that confusing Levi as he watched his face flush, “No, I want to be an Ackermann. I want us to be “The Ackermanns” and I want our kids to be Ackermanns! Don’t buck me on this.” Levi was taken aback, “Okay, Eren.” He was going to have to pick his brain when they got home about his reasoning.

*************

legally married, itineraries in hand, passports now secured, the trio left, entering the car and driving back to Maria where they grabbed lunch and headed to Mike and Hanji’s house. Hanji was working and Mike had just showered with Mila. “You take her in the shower with you?” Eren asked perplexed. Mike smiled his same easy going smile, “Yeah, I mean, she’s my little girl and it saves time. She hates the tub unless Levi’s here.” Eren was still perplexed, “But, doesn’t that seem weird? Like, what about when she gets older?” Mike shrugged, “When she gets older she can take her own shower. Until then, I’ve decided not to sexualize my nine month old daughter. It’s sad that we live in a world where that happens. That’s why it feels weird to you that I do this because you’d worry you’d have done something seedy or wrong. If you even feel like it when babysitting you can just wear trunks.” Levi moved between them to take Mila, “Mon petite Pamellah, let us go see what your mother is up to and leave these peons to their discussions.” He winked at Eren who rolled his eyes.

Hanji appeared at the top of the steps, “No need to come to me.” They all sat down in the living room, Erwin and with Mike on the love seat, Hanji and Eren on the couch and Levi reclined in the chair with Mila, “So, Eren and I got legally married today so he could get an Israeli passport and legally obtain information about what I do. Erwin also got his passport and in a week we will leave to extract an informant and I will use the serum in the mission. Erwin and Eren are coming with me and I know they’ve requested you to come as well, Hanji.” Hanji nodded, “I’ve talked it over with Mike and he and Mila will stay here. I am hoping that you’ve got ideas on how to make that serum safe for human trials?” Levi didn’t but he knew they had no choice but to proceed and use it. “We’ll just have to see what happens and I may be the trial.” Eren didn’t like that nor Erwin who cleared his throat to show his obvious unease at the thought. “Well, it doesn’t matter. We’re heading to Israel in a week and we need to file with Zackley a leave of absence. He’ll grant it.” Hanji snorted, “Never a dull moment with us is it?” Levi grinned at Mila who was showing him her stuffed German shepherd as Donner sat below them, “Never.”


	36. The Two Wolves

**  
Flashes of Armin  
**

”Armin Arlert, welcome.” Armin had been smuggled in to Syria by bus, plane, and car. He was covered in sweat from days of travel and close calls. It was nice in the room he was in, well, nicer. The walls were falling apart and dust covered almost everything. Silk curtains framed a large window looking over the city and Persian rugs were on the floor. He’d taken his beatings while in transit and had the marks to prove it. Now he was one of them, Kalashnikov in hand and kerchief around his neck. How easy it had been to get in but oh how hard it had been to leave Erwin.

He made sure to drug him and after he fell asleep he lay next to him counting his fingers and breaths and then he studied the length of his eyelashes and the curve of his cheek. He touched the rough stubble of his chin and cheek, noting the bit of reddish copper every now in then in the light. Armin felt his heart clench but he had to do this. When they appeared at the window he went willingly and into the night he disappeared leaving his love safely in the shadows.

Now he was in his room, office, whatever it was supposed to be called. “Armin?” Jamal al-Din had a honeyed voice that hypnotized as his stunning blue eyes pierced through you body and soul. His skin was smooth and golden and his hair was kept neat and short. It was white and his full heard was trimmed and tidy. “Yes, sir?” Armin tried to be as confidant as possible. “What made you do it? What made you come to us?” Armin walked the room, “If I come and establish myself here it will be easier to get Erwin to join me, us. He likes for things to be secure, you know. He’s a betting man and won’t walk in blind. Just like Marilyn.” Armin winked, “As to why, well let me just say that I’m sick of our little welfare states like the US, Germany, Sweden and others sticking their feet in the mud and not getting on with progressive change. I’m tired of the world not waking up and seeing that Islam is the soul and humanity the flesh, and knowledge the blood.”

”With what you’ve done in pioneering “hacktivism” and the endless opportunities you provide to make a difference in the global world and end the gluttony of the oil industry, the rapping of oppressed peoples such as our brothers in Gaza, and so much more, well, this is my dream and my calling. This is where my skill set is best used. Erwin should be here and this is the push that will get him here.” Jamal al-Din chuckled as he moved the chair behind the desk, “That’s good. You’re very important to him and I believe he will come. I want him here working and near me. You know he’s my son, don’t you?” Armin’s face twitched as he tried to smile, _I despise you,_ “Yes.” Jamal al-Din closed his book, “Good, now come sit with me my son.” Armin limped towards the leather chair where he had just sat down, “We have much to discuss.”

********************

She had bright red hair down to her hips and her skin was alabaster and marble. Her green eyes shown under the lights as she was thrust in his direction, “All men need a wife. Here is yours. May Allah bless you with many children for his glory.” Armin wanted to protest but it was true, soldiers were married off just to die weeks later and then their widows were swapped till new ones came in. Serving husbands was serving God and he was astounded at the number of young European girls who’d run away just to become wives, or rather, slaves. “My name is Simone.” Her English was accented. Armin nodded, “Armin.” And then they were taken away and married in a hardly enforceable ceremony where Simone cried despite her stoic face and Armin worried she’d tell if he didn’t sleep with her.

********************

Simone was from the Netherlands and her parents were Irish. She had joined Islam out of sincere love for the religion and had achieved her first degree in cellular biology when she was 20 and her masters in biology at 22. She met Jamal al-Din on trip in Greece for a conference where he showed her how she could do her part by data mining her university for two more years until she asked him personally to come and be a wife of a soldier. She chose this and now she wanted out. She told me she saw things that didn’t fit with her vision of this religion, that women were treated so poorly she’d expected to have been beaten and she didn’t like that he owned her, could kill her for any reason if she displeased him. Armin held his tongue. Just because she was telling her truth didn’t mean he could tell his.

***************

”I want out.” Armin had just been involved in a mission and the gun powder and blood stained his body that was still littered with bruises. Simone got in the shower with him lathering his hair as he sat down on the stool they had. She often cleaned him while he teetered between conscious and unconsciousness due to exhaustion. He wasn’t ready for this, “Hush, Simone. That’s enough talking for today.”

***************

Jamal al-Din often called him into his office lavishing him with his time and attention. He talked openly about numerous topics including Erwin. Armin could work with this and he did. He wove intricate stories and made a point to sit close so he could lower his voice. He played the part of coy seductress and replacement son. It was fucked up but he had to do it to survive. He toed the line with him, edging closer to his inner circles with great and decisive decisions of war and flirtatious smiles that drew the attention of many others. He became popular and people wanted to please him. When he worked it was different from when he played. This shift in egos became legend and they soon called him “adh-Dhi'ban,” _The Two Wolves_. 

Jamal al-Din and Simone both agreed that it was a fitting name. Jamal had the wolf of play, clever and noble who exhibited all of the things he’d hoped for in a son. Erwin had chosen well, something Jamal felt himself jealous about. Marilyn had been just as coy and dangerous but Erwin had had Armin to himself, not denied due to honor and respect of his friend. His wolf made for interesting and stimulating games, for now he would be content with that. 

Simone saw the wolf of war whose teeth were always sharp and ready to rip out the tender flesh between shoulder and neck. She felt blessed to have him on her side. He was quick and nimble in battle when it came to him physically getting involved. A sharp set of eagle’s eyes and quick reflexes ensured he’d return to her and not widow her to the next man. He was strong despite his smaller stature. Those who were jealous soon found themselves either shunned from crucial talks, cast out completely on distant patrols, or at the end of his pistol. Armin, her wolf, was deadly and protective. 

*******************

Simone moved over closer to him, “Armin, we’ve never…” Armin closed his eyes, “I’m not like that Simone and we don’t love each other. It isn’t fair to you and I don’t want a child. We can’t take care of a child here.” Simone understood, “That all makes sense and I thank you for that but that’s not the issue.” Armin rolled over, his muscles contracting and hand bare; he never wore the ring unless he had to. “The other men suspect that we…don’t and they’re…hurting me and trying to make me…” She trailed off in the darkness of their room. Armin’s eyes snapped open, “Who are they?” Simone bit her lip wondering what he’d do.

He shot six men the next day and no one touched her again.

*************

Armin had been summoned alone to breakfast. He was now the top dog, commander of various groups and cells.”You’d do anything to further the cause?” Jamal al-Din Abulafia looked over his glasses across the marble top table, a smile playing at his eyes and lips pressed to suppress a sly one of his own. Armin nodded yes to his question, “Would you lead a mission in the devil’s back yard for me, my sweet?” His skin prickled, _Erwin called me that. You can’t call me that. I will rip your tongue out and eat it raw._

Armin pulled his hair back chewing his gum and blowing pink bubbles that popped with a loud bright sound that echoed in the sparsely populated café, his voice was bright and chipper, babyish which like father like son Abulafia liked, “Of course.” Armin smiled brightly, “Let’s kill some Jews and Infidels. Inchallah.” He pulled his kerchief on leaning over the table to kiss his cheek. Jamal al-Din sang as he walked out:

  
”Wi lamma nadani hobbi el awalani  
Sibt kollo we geit we geit  
We fi hodno itramait  
We ghaneit  
Salma ya salama  
Rohna we Geina bel-salama”

  
“And when my first love called me  
I left everything and came back  
And I threw myself in his lap  
And sang  
Salma ya Salama  
We went away and got back safely"

********************

”What?” Simone dressed his wounds, “You keep looking at me. Have you changed your mind?” Armin put out his cigarette, “I think you’re beautiful.” Simone snorted, “Thank you, most gracious husband.” Armin felt where the bullet pierced him, “It’s going to scar.” He said dejectedly, “That’s the worst of it. You know, most would have died. You merely seemed annoyed. I’ve never seen someone react like that to bodily injury.” Armin thought about Levi and Erwin and knew that a gunshot probably would have annoyed them just as much, Levi for sure. “Let’s do it, Simone.” Simone put away the first aid kit under their bed, “Do what?” Armin took her hand, smoke billowing out of his nose as he met her gaze, “Destroy.”


	37. Artemis

Levi slammed Erwin to the mat, “Old man, you’re losing your touch.” Erwin’s arms wrapped around Levi’s shoulders squeezing him painfully, “Now you’re going to try?” Erwin flipped Levi on his back scrambling for purchase on his skin but Levi was too quick and kicked him despite the pain in his leg. Erwin gasped but didn’t give up. He put Levi in a choke hold till he became purple. Releasing him Levi fell to the floor quickly catching himself in a plank position. Erwin sat back on the mat catching his breath, “I go out tomorrow, Erwin. Just watch out for Eren and I’ll be back in roughly three to five days. If I don’t come back finish the book with the things I’ve left to Eren and take care of him. Take care of yourself and live. It doesn’t seem like such an appealing prospect but you must live, Erwin. Work with Hanji and Eren and do good in this world and that way they don’t win.” Erwin sat on his knees and punched Levi in chest and they went at it again.

*****************

Levi walked into the office where Avraham stood. He was handsome in his early thirties with curly brown hair and mahogany eyes. Avraham smiled wide, “Shalom, Levi.” Levi noted that he wasn’t alone, “Levi,” came the gruff greeting from the corner, “Nile.” Levi’s eyes tightened, “How’s Marie and the kids?” Nile stood up, shaking his hand, “Well. Marie is pregnant again. It was unexpected and Michelle started kindergarten yesterday and little Erwin is a walking talking terror now, a full house about to get fuller.” Levi smiled. Nile had named his son after Erwin after he was kidnapped. Little Erwin was born a week after the mission.

”So, how am I doing this?” Avraham sat down, “You’ll enter in on false papers and head to grid 5, you are familiar with that area.” Avraham looked up to meet Levi’s gaze and a tense moment passed between them. “Then you’ll meet the contact who we want to extract. There is a problem, though. In order for you to get at Abulafia and lead us in to the right areas we need you to fly under the radar and convince them to take you back to the den. You must convince them and go with them back or we won’t be able to proceed.” Levi was angry, “You never said I’d have to sneak in and play the part of a militant. They’ll know my face. Abulafia-“ “But, they won’t know Eren’s and he’ll be going out with-“ Levi slammed his fists down, “Damn it! No! No, he won’t. Stop changing the plan. You call me here and tell me one thing and then change it over and over. Eren and Erwin stay here in Israel.” Avraham gave him a stern look, “Levi, Eren and Erwin will go in with you and then they will break away on their own. We have orders for them and they have agreed to do it. You can’t do four people’s work without getting caught.” Levi rolled his eyes and after a few hours they came to an agreement that left Levi feeling like the world was about to come crashing down.

****************************

”Why didn’t you tell me before my meeting you two were going?” Erwin sipped his beer in the restaurant as Eren tried to look innocent, “Huh?” Levi rolled his eyes, “Brat, they told me.” Eren shrugged, “I want to get involved. I think this will work out this way and cut down on the time it may take to do it. Now, are you gunna eat those donuts or?” Levi snorted pushing the plate forward as Eren smiled goofily eating the last two donuts, “Erwin?’ Erwin put his beer down and left the table to dance on the small dance floor they had where a live band played Mizrahi music all day. 

“Mizrahi is beautiful. Do you sing it?’ Levi’s eye lashes fluttered, “I….don’t. I know how but it is painful to do so.” Eren moved his jelly left over from the donut around on his plate, “Why?” “Because my mother sang that style.” _Oh, his mother._ “How did she die?” Levi leaned forward letting his fingers stroke the lip of his cup. “She was beaten to death by my stepfather. My uncle Kenny was visiting for a holiday.” Levi cleared his throat as Eren now pushed the plates aside taking his hands and covering Levi’s on his mug, “Kenny?” “My mother had a brother who moved to New York and then disgraced himself. She was very young and he was forbidden and they cut off communication to him. After she moved to Williamsburg to be with her new husband he started trying to contact her. As things got worse my mother finally reached out and invited him to Chanukah but…” Levi’s eyes were watery, “When he got there her husband became enraged over the state of the house and the unwanted guest and when Kenny left to get something, well it all escalated quickly, and next thing I knew he started beating me and my mother rushed in to stop him. I was often beat but they started getting worse. I was nine about to be ten in just a week or two. I was smaller than they others, always have been.”

”I watched him beat the life out of my mother and then when Kenny came he killed him and wept for my mother. I was in bad shape having jumped in to try and help my mother. Kenny picked me up, the elders were notified and then I was with him in New York from 10 until I left for the marines.” Eren wiped his face of tears, “Levi, I am so sorry. I wish you would have told me earlier. Is Kenny still in New York?” Levi’s lips trembled, “No.” His reply was croaky and Eren felt terrible for him. “He died of liver cancer when Erwin and I were overseas. Old fucker never even told me he was ill. Erwin’s father was murdered and he devoted all of his spare time to researching it but there was only so much he could do from the post. When Kenny died six months later I was granted a month and two weeks off for his funeral and to tie up loose ends of his estate. We ran an extensive network, he ran one gang and I another. We had to consolidate them and hide money and trails. I used favors he was owed to get more information about Erwin’s father’s murder. Kenny was the only father figure I ever had and I’m-“ Levi really was getting choked up, “proud to have known him.”

Levi shook with sobs as Eren comforted him. He’d never heard any of this and now he knew why. Levi had been through much worse than he ever thought. “Let’s go to the room, Eren.” When they got back to the room Levi laid down with Eren on the bed holding him. Erwin had stayed back at the restaurant’s bar and would follow soon. “I used to sleep with people for money, Eren. Kenny did the best he could but honestly looking at it from the outside he was ill equipped to handle a child. We fought as I got older because I had all this anger. I was so angry and I still am. When you get angry it scares me because I see myself in that anger. I ran away, he started working out of state, I needed money and I did what I had to do to survive.”

“Erwin found out by coming in to the make shift club we had. He watched me from the shadows; he sat in the back, and waited. We were working together and the closer we came as partners the more intense my hatred and resentment grew for him. Nile and the others gave him all the chances because of his good looks and money. There isn’t enough time to go into all the details. I’ve left them with Marco and one day maybe you’ll read it and who knows? Erwin saw me in my ugliness and he stayed and wanted me and tried to help me by making me better or just saving me from myself. He started spending absurd amounts of money on me and I bled him dry, Eren. Something I’ve also seen in you. Not with me, no you don’t do that with me but with people in the lab who are cruel to others. Or people who commit crimes or things you deem to be wrong. I see you take out your own form of justice on them and I can’t say that I don’t agree most of the time. I do agree. I feel like I’m doing that in my own way, too. I love you, I love you for the ways we are similar and they ways we are different and I want you to promise me that tomorrow if something goes wrong you head for the fence. You find the fence and you wait there till they come get you. I will also try to head to the fence. This is our promise. The fence is good, the fence is life, the fence is salvation.” 

Eren curled around Levi, “I promise, Neshama.” Levi smiled, “Neshama. I like that. Your Hebrew is coming along wonderfully.” Eren giggled quietly, “My goal is to reach Jewish mother level so I can guilt our kids. The germ cells are successful, Neshama. We could have a child when I turn 21 like we planned if we continue to progress like this.” Levi kissed Eren’s temple, “Don’t get ahead of yourself, brat.” But, he was secretly pleased at the thought.

***************************

Levi donned the gear, hidden beneath layers of clothes that made him blend with his future militant hosts. He was breathing hard and Eren took his hand and held it while Donner whined at his discomfort. Donner would be left with Hanji who waited at the side for them to release him. Erwin wrapped a protective arm around him. Last night they had all participated and Eren had fallen asleep between then while Erwin stroked Levi’s face with tenderness. “Ani ochev otcha.” Erwin whispered so softly he had almost missed it. Levi reached up to cover his hand crying silently, “Ani ochev otcha, einayim sheli.”

The group made their way on to the bus where they sat and road to the boarder. Standing in line for almost two hours weighed on Levi’s nerves. Once through the pushed forward towards Grid 1 and 2. Erwin reached over to Eren stroking his cheek tenderly and Eren captured his hand smiling slightly and kissing the back of it. Erwin smiled. 

Levi led the way to grid 5 once they were inside. He was nervous, sick. Grid 5 is where it all began. This was where the explosion had happened. Why pick this place to come to? He trudged forward and kept a close eye on Erwin who now had his game face on. Eren was quite but attracting attention from some of the locals. Guess when you have a pretty guy it doesn't matter the amount of dirt you rub on him he'll still be pretty. Eren shrugged their glances off sticking close to Levi. 

After almost two hours Erwin and Eren were getting fidgety. "Where is she?" Eren glanced around noting how abandoned the place was. "Where are we?" Levi ground the rocks beneath his feet, "The warehouse where Erwin and I we injured and trapped. This is another side building but over there you can see the ruble and foundation left over." Eren looked around, "Wow. Well, this isn't what I expected." Levi noticed a figure moving in the distance, "It never is, Eren." The figure was in a full burqa with only their eyes exposed. He whistled and she approached. “Zelvel?” Her voice was hushed and dark but he could tell it was pleasant and accented, “Zelvel? Levi’s eyes twitched, “You’re first name isn’t safe.” _But, how do you know my middle name?_ She sensed his hesitation, “Avraham told me your middle name. I discussed it with him about saying your name.” Levi’s eyes went wide, the hairs stood up on he neck, “We have to go back. I have to kill Abulafia. Can you get me in?” 

Eren moved next to him, “This is where I break off and so does Erwin. Here.” Levi was handed a phone, “Call when you get in because that’s when I need to set things in motion.” Eren kissed Levi, “Neshama, don’t worry about me. I’ll go to the fence.” Eren’s orders were simple, find the cell the informant spoke of, infiltrate them long enough to plant bombs, and then leave before they went off. Erwin was to conduct a similar mission but his was also to recover documents and information. This was a rare look into the inner network of the Wall and a once in a life time opportunity to tear it down from the core. Everyone must die.

Levi turned to the woman, “Your name?” She looked around before revealing her face, “My name is Simone.” Levi’s hand fell to the hilt of his dagger, “I was told I was meeting,” She held her hands up, “Daw Da Hiya, I know. That’s me. Simone is my real name. But,” Levi moved forward, “What?!” She put her hands by her side, “Just come with me. I’ll get you in but you must wear this.” She removed another burqa from her bag. “Fuck. Same shit over and over.” Erwin and Eren disappeared as Levi pulled it on over his clothes. “Let’s go.” Into the streets they went and walked for what seemed like hours till they reached a home surrounded by candles; candles for martyrs.

Once they were safely inside of a small bedroom he could reveal himself, “Where are we?” “A house used by the Bear.” “The Bear?” “The main cell. Abulafia has chosen a successor and they run the main cell. This is why I wanted you to come with me because this is where you’ll get the chance to take out Abulafia. His other cells, the Shield and the Sword are where Eren and Erwin were sent to. In Gaza there are three main cells, those I just listed, and in Europe there are three and in the USA three and so on and so on.” Levi looked around, “What is the Bear in charge of?” Simone sighed, “Assassinations, political strategies, and technical procedures. They’re ruthless but they’re the bulk army I guess you could say. The Shield is our Hacker division and the Sword special killing squads.”

”Eren is taking out hackers and Erwin trained killers and I’m taking out an army and many generals. This is great.” He wiped the sweat from his face suddenly very hot and nauseous. Simone dropped to her knees sitting him before her in the chair, “Are you okay?” _Not really, no._ Levi had taken his serum and so had Erwin. Erwin had immediately thrown up and had a fever for about two hours but it would seem Levi’s was slow to act or his nerves had disguised some of the symptoms. “I’m ill.” “The serum?” Levi gave her a suspicious look, “How do you know about that?” Simone shrugged, “Avraham. I’m supposed to look for signs of distress or anything that might hinder it from being used by soldiers. Is it making you ill?” Levi nodded grabbing for something to which Simone understood and thrust a bag in his hands for him to throw up in, “God DAMN,” he vomited again but felt better, “Erwin took this like a champ.” Simone laughed and it was sweet sound in the stone walled room, “Zelvel, I will get you some food. Stay quiet and if someone comes just think of something to buy time till I come back.” Levi nodded and she moved to get up, “Who runs the Bear?” Simone hesitated, “Artemis.” Levi smirked snorting slightly, “Appropriate. And Abulafia is Artemis?” Simone moved to the door, “No, he’s just Abulafia.”

*************************

**Flashes of Armin**

”Abulafia, that’s Jewish.” Armin lay on the bed, white button up unbuttoned and his skin gleamed with sweat. His blue jeans were dusty and he held his red kerchief between his fingers over his navel playing with the edges. “It’s Sephardic.” He pushed further noting that Jamal al-Din lowered his paper, “Can be broken down and as “the father of power.” It’s Spanish in origin, too. It has a root in Arabic as well. I wonder how your followers see a devout Muslim with a Jewish last name, an old and prominent Jewish last name.” Jamal al-Din moved in his chair and Armin smiled knowing he had him right where he wanted him, “How do you see me, adh-Dhi'ban? Am I your father or owner? That is the other interpretation _owner._ ” Armin smiled wickedly, “Can you own a person?” Jamal leaned back in his chair, “Yes, you can physically own a person.” Armin raised his arms over his head exposing more skin, “But, not their soul.” Jamal looked down and a moment passed between them, “No, not their soul.” His reply was soft yet final and Armin peaked at him from the corner of one eye, _better give him what he wants,_ “Allah is the soul and that is why it cannot be owned, for no one owns Allah.” Abulafia smiled to himself, “That is true, adh-Dhi'ban.” He folded his paper admiring Armin, “Are you ready yet?” 

Armin sat up popping his back and stretching, “I guess.” Abulafia put his paper down, “Can I watch?” Armin smiled, “Of course you can, Abu. I do it all for you.” Armin’s Arabic was flawless after months of practice with Levi and on his own. Its gravity was not lost on Abulafia, “You are my shining star, my most powerful wolf.” He chuckled, reminding Armin of Erwin. His stomach turned. “Let’s go.” They got up and left the room, Armin slung his gun over his shoulder as he walked ahead of Abulafia. “Are you just going to leave your shirt open? You might cause a riot.” Armin smirked, “Good.” _I will destroy everything._

Outside they got inside a van, one in a caravan, and left out on the main road. Armin’s hair flew in the wind as Abulafia moved away from window into the center console area. He stretched his arm around Armin’s shoulder as they went along. Soon Armin passed the check point. He watched as a pair of vans turned off a side ally in front of him. He veered off down another and thus began the trap. Another militant group had encroached on their turf and were selling information to the Israelis. Abulafia was impressed with Armin’s fervor when it came to catching informants. He loved to watch his mind work as he hunted them, trapped them, integrated them. It was intoxicating. 

He was the wolf on the hunt and soon he veered back onto a side ally pulling into the intersection where he rammed the side of one van into another spinning them into the walls of the buildings. His second car moved in front and the other behind as they boxed them in. Armin pulled his pistol out shooting the two drivers before his men burst out the windows and pulled out 14 once informants and now hostages. 

He inspected them, taking note of their affiliations and once he tortured the information from them about their affairs he shot them each point blank, a Jew’s execution. Adh-Dhi'ban was praised for his cunning, his methods, and that night they made him second in command and held a feast in his honor. To the men, he gave his glory up to Allah and left early to lay with his wife. Simone knew he was just tired and she drew him a bath of petals and bath salts where she massaged his muscles and read to him the story of Artemis and then Achilles and then more and more till he fell asleep. 

***********************

Eren approached the building noting that his contact wasn’t there yet. He felt the cold trickle of fear between his shoulders until there was a heavy hand in the same place. “Eren?” When he turned around he met a nice looking man of about 23 who had dirty blond hair, green eyes, and a defined hawk nose with a chiseled jaw. He was well built and about 6’1. “Call me Ibrahim.” Eren nodded and they were escorted in where Eren was registered as a militant from the Turkish cell. He spoke with a Turkish accent as agreed on and could help but hate those who excitedly introduced themselves from the Turkish cell. He wanted Turkey to be clean of this and he would make sure to cleanse them.

*****************

Erwin moved like shadow. The sun had set by the time he found them. This so called “Einsatzgruppen.” It sickened him that they saw themselves as such. He was welcomed warmly with his quick Arabic and sturdy appearance. No one cared that as the night wore on he didn’t speak much. Big and quiet went hand and hand as far as they were concerned. A woman approached him, her eyes lined black and black hair silky from where it was exposed from her scarf, “Hello, Ziv.” Erwin merely blinked, “There guns and papers are in the safe in the office inside that house.” She pointed and he looked towards it and then surveyed the men around them, “Here is the key. But before, would you be interested in anything else?” Erwin took the key and shook his head no. She twisted around to walk away and then stopped, “My brother was in Badschi. His wife and two children, do you think they’re dead?” Erwin didn’t answer save for a shrug. He hoped that they weren’t the family he shot for a pomegranate but he just knew, in his marrow, that they were.

***********************

Eren and Ibrahim went into the make shift mess hall where Eren was asked of his achievements and favorite Quran passages. He felt so foreign. He felt so strange. He didn’t like it here and he didn’t want to be here or even know that people like this existed in the world. They showed him pictures of beheadings, talked about their kids and how they were training them to kill Jews and other infidels, they were radicalized, they were angry, they hated the west, the world was their enemy and it was their duty to bring all infidels to their knees even other practicing Muslims because somehow they weren’t practicing the right form of Islam. He was having flashback to denomination wars in the South. ISIS inspired most but Abulafia tried to weed out those sympathizers so if one felt that way, he was told, they needed to keep it hush hush. Eren nodded and finished his cup of water. He looked for Ibrahim and then they went for a _smoke._

”When these go off we will have to leave quickly. Do you have a pick up point?” Eren laid out the explosives, “Grid 3.” Ibrahim whistled, “I don’t know about that, mate. That’s going to be hard to get to.” Eren concentrated on setting the bombs. “Whatever you do, don’t go south.” Ibrahim chuckled. Eren leaned back on his haunches, “Why?” Ibrahim shrugged, “Ehh I’ll save that for later.” Eren shrugged setting the timer and then they went back to the mess hall. They couldn’t just leave without getting information from the computers and they knew it would look suspicious if they went missing.

***************

Erwin had opened the safe, deposited the papers in the proper bags, and then he took their guns and ammo. He allowed his seething anger to take over, the cold façade of his past return, and then he thought about Armin and the pictures of his dead body he found in Marco’s drawer. He thought about the golden hair cut by blunt blade and how he’d even through the mud and dirt shinned. Armin was dead, Erwin was dead, there was no difference. He would kill them all.

He started when they slept, creeping through the shadows with his silencer. Guard patrols were decimated and then he went into their rooms, some he shot, others he killed by knife or his own hands. They struggled and it only fueled his hate more. When they died it was in some ways a stitch in the gaping wound of his heart for Armin. He felt no remorse. He felt nothing.

Erwin had fallen from his righteous ideals and became nothing more than a common man. Love had reduced him to this, to basic instinct. The Id won and nothing would ever bring Armin back.

***********8

When Levi heard that the bombs had gone off Simone donned her burqa and Levi was wipped with dirt and handed a ski mask. “We go now.” She pulled him out into the croweded rooms and into the street where they were mobilizing. The Shield wasn’t too far so many of them ran instead of getting into vans. He overheard shouts that the Sword wasn’t answering their walkie talkies and that something was wrong. He’d not received a phone call yet from Erwin but it made him feel comforted that he’d obviously killed them all and got the documents like he was supposed to. He’d be heading to his check up point and be on his way back to Israel and safety. Eren would also be half way there.

****************

But Eren had miscalculated the security and he’d been detained in the building when it went off. He felt the blast, felt his ears pop, and the next thing he knew he was crawling out of rubble, stabbed through the chest. Ibriham was dead, pieces of him littered around. Eren stumbled out trying to pull the splinter out of his chest. “DAMN.” It slid out painfully. He was loosing a lot of blood and needed to get somewhere to heal. He stumbled along walking through the streets away from the suffocating smoke and haze of dust. He walked and walked as the other ran towards the devastation and they noticed he’d been mortally wounded and paused only long enough to say a prayer over him as he passed, a dead man walking.

Eren felt hot, felt like steam was billowing out of his body and when he looked down it was, a light mist. He tried to not freak out but it was upsetting to say the least. He kept heading in the direction of where he believe the fence to be, running as his wounds started to heal up. It was then that two men appeared behind him yelling for him to stop. He redoubled his efforts and soon heard the spray of the semiautomatic gun fire and women screaming. 

Around the corner he was met with a low tree line, odd in this barren land of stone monuments and no agriculture. It must be someone’s yard. He fell on a few of the rocks, head light from blood loss, and he crawled under the brush as the clapping of boots on the ground came closer. People were screeching. What he couldn’t see was the flame throwers being used to force people out of their homes. They were looking for the Turkish boy with the green eyes and didn’t mind sacrificing a few civilians. They’d never had an attack inside these walls on them. They would ring his neck.

Eren started to lose consciousness as he slid down into the yard. He lay in the dirt and uneven stones till it all went black.

***********

Levi arrived on the scene noting the use of fire and gun spray to induce terror among those who were around them. He started searching for Abulafia, “Where would he be, Simone?” She scanned the scene pulling him around to the side of the building, “I don’t know. He sometimes hides out in neighboring areas.” They heard the sound of tires screeching on the pitted pavement. Levi crawled on the ground to see the figures get out of the car. A man of some status appeared and was quickly accosted by those who headed up the foot soldiers. He listened to them scream and rant with patience and in all honesty from his body language he seem to be bored. “Is that Abulafia?’ Simone’s eyes were wide, “Artemis or he is also called adh-Dhi'ban.” Her voice wavered. Levi turned to face her, “Why are you so nervous.” Simone picked at her skirt, “It wasn’t supposed to be like this.” Levi’s fear returned, “You betrayed me?” Simone flushed, “NO. It’s not like that.” And Levi turned to look at the figure again who was now having troops put out the fire and lineup.

He took roll call and tried to call the Sword but there was nothing radio silence. He slammed the transmitter down cursing and kicking a man nearby. Levi noted his face was obscured by a toboggan and his kerchief covered the lower part of his face and prevent the smoke from getting in. These men clearly saw him as their leader for they all soon lined up for orders, 150 total from Levi’s estimation. He divided them into teams to clear the rubble and save as many people and as much information as possible. He had them lay their guns in the back of his van. They set about working and then Abulafia appeared by his side, hand on his shoulder and with a grim look on his face, clearly disappointed in the state of his little terrorist paradise. 

”My sweet, what do you suggest we do?” He appealed to the younger man. _Who the fuck is this that even Abulafia is bowing down to?_ “Nothing. The people who did this intended for it to break us. We will simply move on and then retaliate.” Abulafia shrugged wringing his hands. “I’ll send word to the others to await your orders. I think it is time for me to head to Sweden.” The man turned around slowly, “Just sit in the car Abu. All lies in my capable hands.” Abulafia sat back in the van and Levi twitched to jump and take his shot but Simone jumped on his back, “Watch” she hissed and pointed. 

The man then turned and went to the door or the van that Abulafia had entered and shoved a piece of metal into the door frame jamming it shut. Abulafia’s face was that of confusion and shock and when he did the same on the next side it quickly turned to horror as he was unable to get out of the car. He shook the car, he tried to get out by breaking the widows but he wasn’t strong enough and the glass would wound him. He was nothing if not a self preservationist. 

The man walked around grabbing up his gun and a second. He had ammo wrapped around him and shut the door on the van locking it. 

Levi had seen many killings in his life but this one was on another level. He sprayed down everyone in his way. They came at him with their knives and if they succeeded in getting close he slashed them quickly and precisely to death. He threw grenades, littered them with shrapnel and even started shooting those trapped in the rubble. It was one particularly close grenade that caused Levi to cover Simone and his back was littered with tangled metal and stone. Levi cried out in pain as Simone tried to cover his mouth. “Shushhh shushhhh.” But his cry was lost among the other death rattles. 

A militant from a search group came and Levi rolled off of Simone onto his back and jumped up, dagger out and slashed at his stomach. The man dodged it deftly slicing down with his own and piercing Levi in his back. Levi yelled, still having a hard time from the wounds from the grenade. He lunged forward, bringing fist to jaw and then foot to abdomen. He knocked him down shooting him with his pistol. Another man appeared and he moved out of the way and in to the side of a car left for dead on the road. The man yelled in frustration lunging at him again with his semi automatic rifle held up to slam into Levi’s throat. He pushed him on the hood trying to pin him down and choke him. Levi kicked down on the side of his knee snapping the bone before flipping the side of the gun slapping the man and then stabbing his dagger into his throat. 

Simone slashed the next man running towards him giving him precious moments to regain his breath. She went hand to hand against the other man proving she was just as capable as any male. The screams of protest and outrage of betrayal continued as he went on his killing spree. Levi rounded the corner after snapping the neck of the last man with Simone who had removed her burqa. He watched as he laid utter waste and destruction to the people he encountered. Innocents, Infidels, Children, it was all the same to him and Levi understood. He’d been the same way in Badschi.

The sound of glass shattering brought him back to his senses and he saw Abulafia fall to the ground. Upon standing he looked utterly devastated, “My sweet, why?! What have you done?!” The man turned around, burning rubble and smoke around him. He pulled his kerchief down revealing his face. Levi felt the world break away and start to move without him. He wanted to throw up because he’d lost his mind. He was now a danger to himself and those around him. What a time for him to go crazy? “I am become death, Abulafia. This is the end of you and everything you ever loved.” He smiled devilishly as he burst into a menacing laugh that chilled the very air around them all despite the fire. Abulafia looked around noticing Levi and Simone, “Levi Ackermann, you’ve come to kill me.” He sounded almost too stunned to process the gravity of the situation now that he had been betrayed.

Levi lifted his pistol, “I have.” He looked him in the eyes, _eyes like Erwin’s_ , he noticed his build, and he had to ask himself, _is this really Erwin’s father? Can I kill Erwin’s father?_ And then Erwin was there, he standing between Abulafia and Levi. “Erwin! Move!” Levi clenched up, _No, nooo noooo please move. I have to end this now._ Erwin turned around to face Abulafia, “Are you my father?” Abulafia smiled, tears streaming down his face, “Yes,” his voice broke, “Yes, oh God you look like her. Like your mother, Marilyn. I just wanted you to come on your own and be with me, to realize the dream she and I shared.” Erwin stared at him, “What was that dream?” Abulafia moved towards Erwin, arms outstretched, “A world free of imperialism, a world free of hate, a world of one people under one flag and under one belief system, a better place where you would play a role in educating the masses, a leading role in our movement and a face for those to associate it with.” Erwin didn’t know how to react, “You wanted me to be the face of your organization.” He shook his head, “Yes, a shinning and golden symbol. A son of Palestine born of a Jewish mother, a literal coupling of ideals and peoples, only you could be the face and Gabriel knew that and believed that as well. _What is the price of a country, for a people, for peace?_ No, no, he had not been sold for a political agenda. He needed more time, more answers with this man. He needed information.

But there was no time. Abulafia was dead. Shot twice, one in the head and the other the heart. There was no more talking. Erwin watched him fall to his knees and then forward where his face turned out to look into the fire, now lifeless eyes shining from the flames. _**Shin**_ Levi turned to spare a glance at the apparition before returning to Erwin’s back.

__  
“Pink flamingos always fascinated me  
I know what only the girls know  
Hoes with lies akin to me  
I, I see you're going  
So I play my music  
watch you leave”  


Erwin turned around mouth open in a soundless sob to look at Levi. Levi shook holding the gun up, “I had to. It was never going to end, Erwin. I had to.” Erwin turned back to look at Abulafia’s dead body. “But, who else shot him?” He said to himself as he looked to the side to the figure also holding a gun. 

__  
”Live to love you  
And I love to love you  
And I live to love you, boy  
Live to love you  
And I love to love you  
And I live to love you, boy”  


Erwin felt his entire body go numb. It was like the world had been spinning in slow motion only to suddenly slam back into its proper speed. He felt his knees go weak, mouth go dry, and he felt his emotions take over as he fell to the ground clutching his sides and sobbing like a lamenter in sack cloth and ashes. Levi only then realized that this was no apparition, this was not the devil. This was real and Erwin saw him too. Simone took her burqa making a sling for Erwin’s arm that was injured and Levi turned to face Armin, _Shefeleh._

Armin was tearful as he stumbled towards them, “Daddy…” he broke into sobs, “We can’t stay here.” His voice was a whisper, pleading as he tried to encourage Erwin to get up. He was right, this was dangerous. Erwin reached for him pathetically, “Why?! Why?!” He wailed as he buried his face in Armin’s stomach, “For you, Erwin. I did it all for you.” 

__  
“God knows I lived  
God knows I died  
God knows I loved  
God know I lied  
God knows I begged  
Begged, borrowed and cried  
God knows I lost  
God gave me life  
God knows I tried  
So let there be light  
Let there be light  
Light up my life  
Light up my life  
Let there be light  
Let there be light  
Light up my life  
Light up my life”  


Levi heard the helicopter coming and he tried to light his flare with shaking hands. “Shefeleh, do this.” He handed it to Armin who gave him a pained look. He lit the flare and they watched as it went off, standing together, the four of them with so much left unsaid and so much to say.

******************

Eren woke up to the literal smell of death. It was morning, probably 6 am. He looked around and to his horror he discovered that the lumps he rested on were not rocks but bodies. He’d crawled and passed out in a ditch of executed peoples. He fought the urge to scream and looked around noting that he was in danger and needed to head for the fence. He crawled over them trying to keep his sanity. _Just don’t go south._ That’s what he had said. Eren left the wooded area and began a jog. He didn’t want to stick out too much but he knew that the locals would soon notice his anxious vibe. 

Using his scouting skills he started heading west and soon found himself on the edge of the city. He hotwired a car like Levi had showed him and took off in the direction of the border. He was thirsty, insanely thirsty and he checked himself to make sure the hole wasn’t still open in his chest. It was covered by a thin fleshy blanket and he could feel aspects of his insides and flesh fusing back together. Needless to say, it was fucking weird. 

After abandoning the car due to patrols he took off on foot towards the fence. It was becoming hotter by the minute as the sun rose higher and he thought he’d never make it. When the tall metal structure could be seen he thought it a mirage until he heard the sirens and saw the patrol cars coming from Israel’s side. Men poured out of the cars, guns trained on him, “Who are you!? What are you doing!?” Eren raised his hands, completely done with this nightmare of a mission. In perfect Hebrew he replied, “I’m Eren Ackermann, Shin Bet. Give me some fucking water.” Eren couldn’t wait to get back to Levi and his safe arms. 


	38. There Was Nothing To Say

”Eren!” Levi stood up from his hospital bed. He’d healed fairly well but they kept him in a room just in case there were unforeseen side effects. On the other hand, Erwin’s arm was still hurt and seemed to be having a harder time healing. He was in pain and Levi feared he may have to perform an operation on it. Eren rushed in, “Levi! God, that was awful.” He hugged him, “What happened, brat? I was scared you were dead in a ditch somewhere widowing me.” Eren told him about the bomb and the ditch he had found himself in. He told him how he’d made it to the fence but Levi’s face was drawn up.

”They’re executing people now. That’s what they had us do and that’s what they do to those who go against them. Not just here, either. This is like a global genocide in all of the countries where their cells are. America isn’t apparently as affected but Syria, Jordan, Libya, Turkey…we have to finish them all or it’ll just get worse.” Eren gave Levi a perplexed look, “Levi?” His voice was questioning and slightly amused. “What?” Levi didn’t know why he took that tone. “Are you saying that we’re not done? That we need to take out other units in other counties?” Levi’s brow furrowed, “I…” _is that what I’m saying?_ “guess…yeah.” Eren smiled stroking his face, “Good. Because I’m not going to let Turkey be controlled by pieces of shit like this.” Eren kissed Levi, “I just don’t know how we’re going to do it. We’ll have to really dig in and flush out contacts from the data pool we have now.”

Levi pulled away before grinning, “On another note, Eren Ackermann, huh?” Eren grinned, “I told you I was an Ackermann now.” Levi snorted, “The entire Shin Bet now knows.” Eren leaned his head on his shoulder, “And that strokes your ego so bad.” Levi nodded bringing his hand up to cup Eren’s face. “I need to tell you something that’s going to make you very happy. Please, try to be happy and not upset.” Eren hummed as Levi stroked his face, “What is it?” Levi cleared his throat, “Armin is alive and he’s here with Erwin. He’s the one who-“ Eren shot off the bed and out the door. Levi sat alone hoping that Eren didn’t get angry.

*****************

Armin was checked out from head to toe. His body was bruised and a bit underweight but he’d definitely become more muscular spending so much time doing physical labor and fighting. He had a few scars, bullet wounds, and then there was the one on his thigh, the product of this ugly journey’s beginning. He was sweaty and covered in the spray of blood from those he’d gunned down before killing Abulafia with Levi. They took blood, ran tests, told him they’d contact him if he had any diseases, and asked if he’d been raped or performed sexual acts without protection. The moment had been a tense one in the room. It was all according to protocol.

They moved around him looking like the blur from headlights on the street at night. For him, the only point of focus he had was on the man sitting in the chair before him while he sat perched high on the table. He admired him like a work of art in a museum or how man must have looked when he discovered fire; Those hands, that rugged jaw, the fine lines around his eyes that had become deeper in these last six months since he’d last seen them. He looked at his disheveled appearance and the visible loss of weight. He had quite literally wrecked this man. He had destroyed him and yet here he sat in this tiny room while people asked him questions. He had held on to him desperately during the ride in the helicopter, the short moments they were in the waiting room he had held him in his lap with tears streaming down his face, and now here he stared at him like he expected him to vanish into smoke at any moment.

”We’re committing you for the next few days due to dehydration and your diet worries us. We think you lack vitamins. _Well, there weren’t any vitamin shops in ye ole terrorist outpost._ He thought to himself bitterly as they led him and Erwin to another room. “Mr. Smith you can come with us.” Erwin cut his eyes over to the nurse, “Absolutely not. Bring a bed in here.” The nurse paused and after a few seconds of looking into Erwin’s eyes he left them and called for a bed to be brought inside along with the other one. “I am not going anywhere.” Armin stared as Erwin sat down on the small love seat sized couch next to his bed. Armin wanted to say so much but how and where would he start? Soon, there was a knock on the door .

Eren opened the door walking in flushed red from anger and emotion. His eyes stung with tears as he approached Armin. Armin seized up not knowing what to expect from Eren. Eren reached out, starting to sob. Armin tried to reach out and meet his hand but instead Eren reared back slapping Armin across his face, “You.” He hissed, “You, left me. You left us. You destroyed us.” Eren’s voice was hard and venom flowed from his tongue. Armin held his head in shame, “I know.” He whispered into the space between them. “You know?” Eren laughed bitterly, “YOU KNOW NOTHING. WE HAVE MOURNED AND WE HAVE DIED IN OUR OWN WAY. Erwin hasn’t spoken since we scattered your ashes. I haven’t heard his voice in that long, six months! YOU LET US BELIEVE FOR SIX FULL MONTHS YOU FUCKER! I-“ Eren clutched the area where he had been pierced with the splinter looking around the room like he couldn’t believe he was there, “You fucking _knew_ , Armin. There is a difference. You poisoned our hearts with this sorrow.” Eren dropped his hands in defeat. Armin met his gaze wearily, “I had to do it this way. I really did think I would die last night but…” Eren wiped his face, “But what?” Armin looked him in the eye, “I…wasn’t. I wasn’t killed because I…” Eren moved closer, his voice cold and honest, “Because you had everything so under control and so thought out that it all went according to plan. Is it really that hard to believe? I can believe it.” Eren spat. Armin was crying and wiping his face, “Do you hate me? Do you think of me differently? The things I’ve done. I’m so ugly now. Could you ever forgive me? Could any of you?” 

Eren’s eyes softened and he reached out cupping his face, “I know that you did this for us.” He tried to reason with himself and soothe with Armin, “You did this for Erwin and Levi. This was for us, our little family.” Armin sobbed viciously, nodding his consent to the statement. Eren felt himself start to ebb, “I love you and I have always loved you and will love you. You are my best friend, Armin. You are a part of my soul. We are all ugly and have done such horrible things that I don’t think anyone could ever understand. But this was also so fucking selfish, reckless and a blatant violation of trust. It’s going to take time…for us to heal. It’s going to take time for me to be able to move on and trust you.” Eren and Armin embraced sobbing together and sinking to the floor. Armin wanted to ask Erwin these questions but soon he felt Erwin’s arms wrap around them, his sturdy chest pressed against his back and they held each other sobbing and coming together in small way. He had heard and that was enough for now.

Shortly afterwards, Avraham came and spoke with them. Armin started from the beginning saying that Abulafia had been in contact with him since the end of April and had blackmailed him by threatening to kill Erwin. There were always people in the woods around their house, on their trips he would be called and harassed, and then once he found one in Erwin’s office at school just as a symbol that he could get to him if he wanted. He began to feel the threat everyday of their life and thus he had started to hurt himself and once that became painful for those around him he started working with Levi to trying and find a way to thwart Abulafia. He knew that letting Erwin go to him alone or killing Levi was not the answer nor a desirable alternative. He had to get creative in order to save everyone and to make sure that only he was attacked.

Armin did everything he could, learned as much as possible, studied Arabic, used Levi’s information to expand on. He soon realized that playing the part was going to be the key to convincing them to take solely him and leave Erwin in Turkey and not go after Eren and Levi in the other room. He told them that he’d become a Muslim. He leaned the prayers and spoke the way they wanted him to. He told them that Erwin was a hard person to convince but there was hope. If he left him, he’d change his ways and come join him. Abulafia eventually believed him, grew to trust him, and relied on him to get Erwin to join and make the Wall grow. He became the face of the Wall in this area once Abulafia saw him pierce Levi’s heart. That had been the moment of e everything started to come together. 

Abulafia came to treat him as a son, a future son in law, and he started to teetering on the edge of inappropriate. He became obsessed with him and that’s when he started moving pieces on the board. He needed them to think he was dead if he was ever going to reach out to Shin Bet. He needed to let them go in order to protect them and for them to do so to him, though it killed him the thought of Erwin moving on to another lover. That emotional pain served him well in the coming months. They faked his death simply by finding a tourist that looked like him and killing him. Well placed lighting and a keen eye for detail aided him and he knew that once they were leaked to Marco’s people no one would ever doubt their validity. Then he continued his rigorous training with the other militants and eventually surpassed his commanders earning him responsibility and respect. 

He was married to Simone and she protected his secrets and he protected her. They made a plan to get her out but he still needed more power. He decided that the best way to get noticed was to become cut throat and vicious. Informants were hunted down, he executed in public and became feared for his no nonsense sentencing of immediate justice. He gave speeches, found moles within the group, got money for operations. What they never knew was that the money he procured he made sure there was a way to track it. They didn’t know he had Simone contacting Shin Bet, stacking a board with pawns that he could move and knew when they would move. He deflected their attention from the outside and brought it in to their home and that’s why the cells were so close together. He made sure to bring them into the center of operations to trap them.

The way he expressed it all in the end was that he had channeled Artemis. Artemis was a little girl told to defeat the mightily bear Clytemnestra. So, she donned bear furs, bear teeth, and stopped walking upright for months. After she felt she had become like the bear she made her way into the den. Clytemnestra saw her and thought she was one of her cubs and took her into her arms. That’s when Artemis slit the bear’s throat. When Artemis returned to her village they rejoiced but they also feared her for she was no longer a little girl. She was now more bear than human and she had no place in the world of men so she returned to the forest living on the fringes till her people needed her again. Armin wondered if they’d ever recognize him again.

Avraham thanked him for being so candid and told them that he’d be in touch and possible call him in for more meetings and debriefings. He was now an informant and would be working with them closely for the foreseeable future. Eren had sat on one said and Erwin the other while he gave his story. It was now early in the afternoon but they had not had a moment’s rest since they were all airlifted in and brought to the hospital. Hanji stopped by, screeching and hugging Armin. They cursed his name and sanctified it in the other breath talking about how Mila had been missing him. Armin told them that was unlikely but Hanji removed a photo of all of them before Levi and Eren had left for Paris. It was a candid but they were all in it, “She looks at photos and picks out people she knows. She remembers you and wants to know where you are. I am glad that she will get to know you, Armin. Never leave us again.” Armin promised that he wasn’t going anywhere unless they wanted him to.

Hanji and Eren exchanged a glance and then excused themselves to go check on Levi. Armin asked about him but he was assured it was all okay and he wasn’t in any danger. When they left Armin didn’t know what to do with himself. He turned to Erwin whose eyes were drooping. He looked like he would pass out any second, “Erwin.” He whispered, “Baby, I’m tired.” Armin rubbed his thigh soothingly, “Me too.” His voice was so soft; he was terrified of Erwin’s sleeping wrath he was sure lurked beneath the surface, “I need a shower so why don’t you go to sleep?” Erwin shook his head, “I need one, too.” Armin had never felt this awkward around Erwin ever.

Normally they would share a shower but now, now what would they do? He stayed motionless until Erwin sighed, “Come on, baby.” He stood up cringing and walked to the bathroom. Armin followed him dumbly removing his clothes as Erwin did his own. Erwin tried to take off his sling and nearly double over in pain. “Erwin, let me.” He pulled his sling off, ghosting over his arm to soothe him but not really touching him. He thought that might be pushing it. “You got shot.” Erwin’s voice rumbled deep in his chest as he stepped inside the shower, “Three times. Each should have killed you from the looks of it.” Armin’s hands fell to the scar in the middle of his chest, the scar over his left hip and the one on his back he shied away from Erwin, “Are you trying to hide those scars from me, Armin?” Erwin asked somewhat amused, “Why?” Armin didn’t really know why. Maybe it was because they meant he had actually done what he’d done and left Erwin, “I deserved them. I am ashamed.”

Erwin tried to shampoo his hair but let Armin do his and his own as he thought about what he’d just said, “Really?” Armin washed out their hair helped Erwin with the rest, his arm twitching painfully. “Yes, sorry will never be enough.” He said mumbling into Erwin’s shoulder. Erwin watched him, grimacing in pain the entire time. “Erwin, something is really wrong with your arm.” Erwin gritted his teeth and turned away, “Its fine.” Armin moved closer massaging his arm and tracing the scar as he’d done countless times. There was a peaceful moment between them as the old routine started to appear. Erwin leaned down near his ear, “Kiss it better?” Erwin teased and Armin felt himself smile for the first time in months, “You think my kisses will be better than actual medicine?” Erwin studied Armin’s face carefully, “Just seeing you has given me new life.” The stream from the shower was deafening in the silence that set in.

”Erwin why haven’t you…” Armin didn’t want to say it, _Why haven’t you told me to fuck off? Why haven’t you cursed my name, tried to kill me yourself. Why?_ “Why haven’t I yelled at you or made a fuss demanding explanations and cursed you?” Armin looked up, his hair parted by the stream. Erwin cupped his face pushing the hair back, “Because the first thing I noticed was your bracelet.” Armin had refused to take off his Cartier bracelet. The ring he left but he would have rather died than part with the last reminder of Erwin. “And then you told Avraham your story and I listened. Yes, I had been angry and confused but I’ve been thinking about it all and I’ve realized a few things. First, I understand why you did what you did especially after hearing how you’d planned everything to basically ensure your death. You thought if we already thought of you as dead then this would save us the pain of searching. I understand. Second, I was more concerned that you’d gotten married because you’d fallen in love with Simone and that was where most of my anger originally came from. I think that would have possibly hurt me more than anything since I loved you this entire time and would always love you. Third, I don’t really care why or how. I only care that you are here in my arms and that you still want me and I think that you might since you left that bracelet on. It has been the point of focus on which all of my hopes hinge on.” 

Erwin took a second to gaze at Armin, “So?” Armin didn’t know what to say, “So?” Erwin smiled amusedly, “Do you still love me?” Armin’s eyes widened in shock, “Of course I do! But how could you still want me?” Erwin chuckled, “I’ll always want you and always have, my sweet.” Armin shuddered and Erwin looked wounded. “We might need to retire that nickname for a while or indefinitely, Erwin. I want…” Armin bit his lip as Erwin swooped down to kiss him sweetly for the first time in six months. Armin felt butterflies in his stomach at the warmth and tenderness behind those lips. Erwin pulled back whispering, “What do you want? Anything, baby.” Armin kissed him again, “I want to go home and just live with you and love you and marry you and be domestic.” Erwin chuckled, “Pretty sure Levi and Eren are going to want to destroy the remnants of The Wall.” That caught Armin off guard, “I mean, that’s easy to do now that I control it.”

Erwin went completely still, “What?” Armin’s eyes narrowed, “Abulafia made Artemis or _The Two Wolves_ his successor till you arrived. I now control everything and there are no survivors to say I killed him and even if there were it doesn’t matter because I have everything I need to destroy them and if I don’t I will find it. If you think for one second that after all the things I endured and heard and saw that I could let these people go free then you don’t know me. We will wipe them out. We will destroy The Wall starting with the cell in Maria and then the US.” Erwin saw in Armin the raw strength of a warrior, a soldier that would shine in his squad and become legend. He was very proud of him and very sad because strength like that came at a price and he had suffered greatly for it.

“You don’t know what hell you put me through.” He whispered and then turned the water off. Armin snorted, “Jewish guilt?” Erwin smiled, “Definitely.” They left the shower; dressing in clothes provided by the hospital, clean sweats and cotton shirts. They crawled in one of the beds and there for the first time in almost seven months they lay together listening to breaths and heart beats. Armin hadn’t slept that well in almost a year. Erwin was beyond content to feel the weight of his precious Armin, returned from the dead and sweeter than wine.

Armin rubbed up and down’s Erwin’s stomach, “We need to talk more.” Erwin hummed, “It’s going to take time to do all the talking we need to do. I say we take it slow, take it from the beginning.” Armin still worried, “Are you sure you’re okay with that?” Erwin kissed the top of his head, “Do you love me?”  
“Yes.”  
“Are you in love with me?”  
“Yes.”  
“Do you want to still be with me?”  
“Yes”  
“Do you want to marry me?”  
“Yes.”  
“Are you being completely honest? No secrets and no lies anymore. Are you telling me the truth and will tell me the truth from now on?”  
“Yes, I swear.”  
“Then we can talk slowly and with care. That’s all I need to know and the rest we can work out.” 

Armin nuzzled Erwin’s chest, he began singing with a slight smirk, “I’ve been out on that open road. You can be my full time daddy, white and gold.” Erwin felt his face hurt from smiling, he continued, “Singing blues has been getting’ old. You can be my full time baby, hot or cold.” Armin pulled the blanket up, “Did you really not speak for six months.” Erwin’s voice was low, “Yes.” Armin felt the sadness well up inside of him, “Why?” Erwin stroked the side of Armin’s face, “Because there was nothing to say.”


	39. Beloved

David Baatar Lavie made his way out of the airport and to the waiting taxis. He wasn’t due to begin work for another three days and this, he told himself, was why he could afford to take a small vacation before settling into the daily routine of a new country he would call home for some time to come. David was an only child; his parents were killed by a suicide bomber while making aliyah to Israel. Due to his name and families reputation he would not be allowed to fall to the waist side. He was swapped between various families, this poor orphan who had a Talmud scholar’s mind and a gifted talent for rabbinical law. He had spent his summers studying in Williamsburg where he grew to love America but also to grow weary of her plethora of temptations. 

It was his first Summer and he was five. He stepped into the Rabbi’s house and was greeted to a plate of cookies and sweet tea. A woman, beautiful and shinning, sat in the kitchen with the Rabbi’s wife smiling and talking. Her hair uncovered and curly and lush as it fell over her shoulders. Her pale skin revealed only on her forearms and neck reminded him of his father’s. She had delicate pink lips and large doe like eyes that were pools of cool soothing pale grey water. She her voice sounded like the chirping of a bird and when she flew into song it trilled in his heart. 

Her name was Edith and she had a son named Levi who was sitting with her. He looked to be her mirror and therefore, he was also beautiful. Not in the way girls were but the way some people in general were, works of art that seem too ethereal to actually exist in this reality. Levi met his gaze and there was an instant connection. “Oh, you must be the Lavie boy. How funny, we’re tribesmen.” Edith smiled and it was blinding. She reached down smoothing her hands through Levi’s hair lovingly, “This is Levi, my son. He’ll be you partner.” David didn’t ask why he didn’t go to school with the other boys. He didn’t care. Levi was his type of person and for that he was thankful.

Levi stood up shaking his hand and studying him closely. He didn’t show emotion and nor did David. They were both more like miniature stoic men than children. What had Levi been though to make him such? David and Levi left the women and entered the Rabbi’s study where they had their lessons together. David thought that just maybe Williamsburg wasn’t so bad. Perhaps, one day he would call Levi friend.

David spoke French fluently, Hebrew, Yiddish, Mongolian, and Japanese. He would come to be able to hold his own in Russian and Chinese later in life with German and Swedish becoming hidden passions that created a serious dent in his wallet when he splurged on great classics in literature. Greek and English had proven slightly more difficult and that is something Levi and he bonded over. Levi’s accent enchanted David who felt that his Mongolian lit when he spoke English was ugly and clumsy. Both boys fell into French more often than not when they were alone but sometimes Levi would have him read to him in Japanese and Mongolian before they entered into their classes. Levi craved knowledge, was hungry for it and David felt his own hunger grow the more time he spent with him. 

It was the next Summer when they were six that he found out that Levi was taunted and hated by the other boys. They made fun of his accent, his quietness, and his status as a mamzer. In fact, he couldn’t understand how Levi had managed to put up with the daily harassments this long. Being a mamzer meant that you were also forbidden to fight back if you were attacked by another Jew. He watched as Levi broke tradition and fought the boys that swarmed him, being smaller than most his age and only six he was soon losing the fight to seven and eight year olds. That’s where David, a so called good yeshiva pacifist, stepped in. David was huge for his age: tall, broad shouldered, muscular and sinuous, and overall a future ox. His skin was always tan and healthy looking against the other pasty children that spent their time inside behind tomes of Hebrew. He was intimidating and would one day be very handsome.

He stepped in after Levi was kicked to the ground and most of them that had any sense about them ran as soon as he laid a protective hand on Levi. But those who stayed soon found themselves on the ground with broken noses, bleeding arms, and soon to be scabbing legs. Levi aided him once he caught his breath. He’d never been so thankful and he’d never once been helped or defended. When they left he turned to David and hugged him. That’s all they needed, a hug. Words didn’t really fit them. Levi also gave him a smile, small, but still one that reminded him of his mother’s and it made David’s heart flutter.

When they were eight Levi and David were the only two allowed to hold a private council with visiting Rabbi’s from Europe. David lived between Israel, Mongolia, Japan, and France. He was accustomed to the accented Hebrew of men from around the world and much to his glee so was Levi despite him being landlocked in America. They were the brightest students, the best scholars; exhibited the most potential for the future of the faith and were possible Kabalahists. But, David had once again had to fight for Levi to be allowed this honor. As a mamzer he was to be seldom seen and never heard. Levi knew something had been done for him to be there but he didn’t say anything. Instead that night he repaid his kindness by singing for David and his mother made them sweet French macaroons that they ate together under their Sukkot hut beneath the stars. Levi’s mother doted on David just as much as her own son andhe loved her, wished he could live with her and Levi as a family. He’d never felt so close to anyone since his parents passed away. 

When they were ten David stood alone at Edith’s grave where he planted roses so that her beauty would forever bloom. He heard that his best friend had been taken to New York but he was but a child, despite the fact he felt grown, had always felt grown. He no longer felt at home in Williamsburg where the beautiful cantors had once been. He felt like his family had died all over again.

When David was 16 he decided to leave the sect to avoid a marriage and the pressures of those around him. It was hard and he was penniless. After living on the streets, he joined a local Zionist group and became embolden by nationalism and pride for Israel. He was living in Germany searching for long lost family and found himself continuously waking in the middle of the night to sound of “Levi” on his lips. But, how would he find him? There was only a distant memory and he called up some of his connections that still spoke to him hoping to bring him back. The beautiful Mila Pefferberg still spoke the name Levi Ackermann despite it being stricken from the book of life and in the tight nit circles of Orthodoxy he found an address and left for New York.

Levi Ackermann was infamous in the almost ghetto like Jewish community if the Upper East Side of New York. He was to some a righteous and pure man and to others a cut throat gangster. Wherever he inquired about him the opinions were plenty but the tones hushed. Soon he found himself before a door of a rundown apartment. He knocked and after a while the door opened, chain still locked, “Who is it?” That same monotone voice with its sweet French lit to his words set David ablaze with nostalgia, “Shalom Levi, it’s me, David Lavie.” Levi ripped the chain out of the lock opening the door and revealing a spotless apartment, freshly cleaned wood floors, a table with six chairs, leather couch and coffee table and in the corner a kitchen and a bed. He wasn’t too shocked; Levi had always been obsessed with cleaning. However, he was shocked at the immediate hug and smile he received. He could have been there to kill him but Levi embraced him fully. “Achki.(my brother)” Levi said it with such love and David knew it was true, “Achki.(my brother)” 

Coming from nothing after leaving his community, Levi managed to get David money and papers to help him head to Israel after he turned 17. When he landed and began working on the Kibbutz he received phone call that Levi had joined the marines. David thought about it and it made since. He had just filed with the IDF (Israeli Defense Force) himself and would start soon. The brothers were going to serve their countries and their homeland. He knew the Shin Bet wanted Levi because they wanted him too and after few months they met in Tel Aviv for a conference, standing side by side like they had in the rabbi’s library.

When they were 20 Levi was laying on a table top drunk from sweet honeyed wine during the festival of Purim. David had been detained by a young woman who had promised a good time and instead had passed out after sloppy sex. He just wasn’t that type of guy and random hookups were still very much against his moral code but that night he’d given in to Levi’s peer pressure and countless cups of wine. David pulled Levi up from the table and they set out into the streets. “How was she?” “Horrible, that’s just not my thing.” “Women?” “What?” “I had no idea you were gay.” “I’m not gay, queer, or questioning. I like women but I like to treat them a certain way. I like things to be proper.” “You’re looking for a wife, not a lay.” “Exactly.” “You?” “What about me, David? You know I find both appealing.” “I meant are you looking for a wife?” “Why do you ask?” “Because Mila Pefferburg has been now five years married.” “There is no woman alive who can hold a candle to her. I’m not looking for anything, actually.” “Why?” “Because of work and I’m in a type relationship with my commander.” “That’s not proper.” “I don’t follow the rules, Ach (Aleph Chet or A CH mean brother).” “Trust me, this I know. Your commander is Smith? He’s you’re assignment!” “Yes.” “That’s not proper, Levka!” “He’s not a proper man and nor am I. Let’s go to sleep. I’m fucking tired.” 

They entered David’s apartment building climbing to the top floor. Once inside the nice one bedroom apartment Levi quickly headed to the bed stripping and leaving a trail in his way. “You really are drunk.” Donner checked in on Levi. He was less than pleased he’d been left in the apartment but they had not gone far and drinking and dogs didn’t always mix. David picked his clothes up and folded them laying them next to the bed and then removing his own. He flopped down next to Levi and they fell asleep. It wasn’t until later that night that they woke to the sound of a bomb. Levi scrambled out of the bed ripping the windows open to reveal Israel in flames.

David put on his gear and they rushed into the streets. He started trying to calm people and get them out of the bomb shelters that were near the flames. Levi ran with him, aiding him, and working alongside him. They passed a woman was screaming holding a dead child in her arms. All around them were wounded and distraught people, their people. It took hours to put out the flames, move people to safety, and then the missiles hit. Ruble rained down on them and David was nearly crushed, pushed out of the way by Levi in the nick of time. 

David caught his breath patting Levi on the back, “You saved me.” Levi huffed, “I owe you so much more.” David pushed off the wall they’d crouched by when a woman approached them crying, “Please, help me.” David approached her, “What’s wrong ma’am?” And then she stabbed him. _It is the intifada, after all. Stabbings are the trademark of blind ill-informed terror._ Levi thought this bitterly as he rushed forward pistol whipping her with his hand gun before shooting her. She had had more on her than knives. He went to work saving David’s life as the sirens blared around them.

It was all darkness and the next thing David realized was that he was in the hospital after being in a medically induced coma for three weeks. He skyped Levi, who cried tears of joy, “Achki, you live.” David smiled, “I live because of you, achki.”

Now David was a few minutes from Levi’s home. He’d forwarded his address to him after sending an email about buying it. He knew he lived with Erwin, his same assignment turned lover turned best friend, turned whatever. It was very messy and that was something David disliked. He liked things in their place, taken care of, well thought out and well, proper. The house was beautiful and the yard looked like a winter wonderland with the grass covered in frost and ice sickles hanging off the plantation porch. He felt butterflies in his stomach having not seen Levi in so long. That was common for them to go long periods without constant communication due to David’s traveling and undercover work but now that would change. He’d be a short two hour drive away in Atlanta with frequent trips to Maria because of his latest assignment.

David parked next to a shiny Nissan Z. He got out as the driver was heading towards the car and pushing the button to unlock it and making it beep. “Hello.” David said before turning around and seeing the most beautiful women he’d even see save for Levi’s mother or Mila Pefferburg. Her inky hair and pale lips and grey emotional eyes held him captive and pinned him to the ground. She stopped nearly tripping over her own feet and they stared at one another a long while until she nodded curtly and went to open her door. David watched as she gave him a shy smile sliding into the car before starting the engine and leaving. He felt like he’d just crossed paths with an angel.

If people like that were in Levi’s life he really had a lot to catch up on. His legs felt like jelly but he made his way up to the house avoiding patches of slushy snow. It was now the end of January and with was a bitter winter for the region. He noted the mezuzah on the door, _Tribe Levi, how fitting._ He kissed his fingers and then touched it, imparting as much affection as possible on it. He pushed the door bell and waited nervously.

Inside, Levi was preparing meat for dinner and drinking a glass of wine as Eren did his homework. They’d been back now just a few days and things had been better than expected. Eren was still angry, that was understandable. But he and Armin were closer than ever and Armin’s openness had ensured that everyone felt that they were getting the answers they wanted. Marco and Jean had been delighted to see him and Jean had fainted at the sight of him for he had believed him a ghost. Jean had submitted his pieces to the museum in Atlanta in honor of Armin and they were planning a trip to see them all together. 

The most marked improvement had been Erwin’s personality. Armin had brought him back to life. He spoke now, he felt now, he moved around like a flash of light to make Armin comfortable in the house. He had his baby to dote on and Armin lavished him with affection and apologies. That was what Armin did, apologized for everything over and over until Levi had him sit down with them all and they told him to stop. They couldn’t live like this anymore with this constant apologizing for doing what he had done. Yes, he could have come to Levi and maybe told Eren or Jean but to ensure without a shadow of a doubt that it all succeeded he couldn’t risk it and he hadn’t and it had worked out. He was forgiven. They forgave him and now they just wanted him to heal from six months of living a lie and pretending to be someone he wasn’t.

Erwin had asked him to marry him again and he was back to wearing the ring and that made Levi happy. Eren had decided that they should start planning an actual ceremony for their friends and family, mostly because he’d always wanted a wedding and partly because now Armin would be here to be in it. Levi didn’t mind at all, nor would he ever deny Eren something he wanted.

Mikasa had just left so the doorbell ringing confused him. “Want me to get it?” Eren asked looking up from his pile of notes, “No.” Levi shook his head and wiped his hands moving to the door to open it. Even as previously state David was a sight to behold. Towering at around 6’3, broad shoulders gave way to a trimmed waist and sturdy legs. His build was similar to Erwin’s except it was just bigger. They were like gods among mortals but aesthetically different. Erwin was golden and almost the perfect Aryan ideal of the Germans in WWII but David’s skin was the color of freshly pressed olive oil, his eyes a Bermuda blue, hair thick and dark cut neatly to frame his face which was subtle heart shape. He was handsome, ethnically ambiguous, raw, powerful, and he exuded a sensual sexuality that had always amused Levi for David knew not the effect he had on others. 

Levi felt his face light up, his lips stretched and he smiled so large it stunned even him. David always produced this reaction for him. He didn’t even smile this way with Eren or Erwin. David was just like an injection of some sort of drug that he’d become addicted to, “Achki!” David smiled and they embraced each other laughing, “Shalom achki.” Levi felt tears form in his eyes from joy, “Why are you here?” He pulled away laughing but still kept his hands on both of David’s well toned arms, “Visiting you.” David quipped, “I see your home is spotless and beautiful as I expected.” Levi continued to marvel at him, “You’re really here?” David smiled shyly, “Really.”

Levi wiped his eyes turning around and smiling like a fool, “Come, come.” He motioned him inside and took his coat. Levi’s voice was loud and full of inflection, another side effect of David that Levi had noted when he was younger as a sign of weakness. “I’m married.” He blurted out and David’s eyes became larger than saucers as his mouth twitched into a lopsided smile, “You are?” Levi nodded, “They didn’t tell you?” David shook his head rubbing the back of his neck, “I’ve been in Ethiopia for almost two years. I haven’t had a chance to in the last eight months to do anything other than my assignment. I’m sorry to have missed it.” Levi waived his hands, “No, no, no we haven’t had a wedding yet.” David gave him a suspicious look, “You only legally got married.” Levi sighed waving his hands, “Yes, in case I died on my last mission I wanted them to have access to, to…” David nodded, “All of this.” He rolled his eyes and waved his hands around them as well, “Oy, I get it. Shin bet has strange rules. Marriage was probably the easiest option.”

Levi smirked laughing before his face lit up again, “You have to meet my husband. Come meet him.” David was pulled into the kitchen where Eren had quite literally dropped what he was doing since hearing his husband make sounds and laughs he’d never heard before and the sight of the smile on his face made him wonder if a way to stop producing excrement had been found out. For, what else other than cleaning would Levi be so happy about? 

”This is Eren, my Eren. My ahuvi.” The man Levi was dragging behind him was larger than Erwin, something in itself that astounded Eren but he was flat out gorgeous and that had him prickling a bit about the reaction Levi was having over him. “Who are you to Levi?’ Oops, well, he was known for being blunt. David was a little taken aback, “My name is David Lavie.” He extended his hand to shake Eren’s. Levi was still smiling ear to ear, “Achki, sit, sit. Let me tell you’ve what you’ve missed.” David sat down as Levi slid in beside a still cautiously jealous Eren. “Well, I’ll have to start from the beginning.” And that is how David came to realize that Levi and he were linked by more than just their past but their present as well.

Some hours later when Levi had finished their story of the past year and a half David finally found the words to speak. “So, Armin Arlert is your best friend and he lives here.” Levi set the oven timer, “Yes?” David shrugged, “He’s my assignment. I’m working at the Israeli consulate and I’ll serve as his officer and support. I’ll coordinate with him on how we proceed with the Wall information from your mission. I’m also just supposed to be a friend.” Levi smirked, “Well, I can’t say I’m not pleased that I’ll be seeing more of you. We’ve never lived near each other than the months you lived with me in New York.” Eren perked up, “You two lived together?” 

David smiled shyly, “Levi helped get me to Israel. He saved me.” Eren wanted to know more but he hesitated, “Eren?’ Levi questioned, “Do you think David and I were ever together sexually?” Eren flushed, “Is it that obvious?” Levi snickered, “He’s dying inside right now. That’s not _proper._ ” Eren looked to see a visibly flushed David, “Sex is just not a topic for the dinner table, Levi. Eren, we have never crossed any inappropriate lines. He is my brother and I am also explicitly interested in females.” Eren pondered for a moment, “Are you two really brothers?” David and Levi exchanged amused glances, “Just fellow Levites.” Levi went back to cooking happily while Eren thought. 

Eren pursed his lips, “Okay. And I’m sorry, David. I’ve never heard Levi speak or smile the way he has since you’ve appeared. I was jealous and that wasn’t fair to you. I hope you can forgive me.” David smiled, “There’s nothing to forgive. I’m sure that was strange.” Eren offered a shy smile, “David, please take care of Armin. Don’t hurt him.” He whispered picking at his papers before turning his large viridian eyes on him, “We’ve just had enough hurt for a lifetime.” Eren was striking and his sincerity was that of a child. He spoke the truth, wore his emotions on his sleeve, and this was what Levi needed in a partner. He also reminded him of the sweet Mila Pefferburg as her youngest son Levi nursed at her breast when he visited her home in order to retrieve his brother’s address. Her eyes had shimmered, “You’re going to see Levka?” “Yes.” “Help him, David. Help him be happy. He deserves to be happy.” David was touched by Eren’s words and their nostalgia. Then he saw Eren, really saw him. _Oh,_ he thought to himself, _this is why Levi married him. He is magnificent._ “I will take care of Armin and we shall all be happy, as happy as you have made Levi.” 

They heard footsteps and then Armin was walking into the kitchen, “Hello.” His voice was meek and he looked like he’d just woke up. His hair was short again after having Eren cut it and he wore orange running shorts and an oversized navy shirt of Erwin’s. His feet were covered in fuzzy white ankle socks with pink bows on the back. He was cautious and guarded. His gaze never lifted from David, “Who are you?” His words had an edge and Levi and Eren knew that his anxiety was rising, “This is David, Armin. David is a childhood friend of Levi’s and as fate would have it your contact for Shin Bet. He’ll be working in Atlanta and contacting you from time to time about the the Wall and well, probably he’ll be hanging out with us around here because he’s legit.” Eren ended oddly. _Legit, huh? Well that does sum it up._

Levi snorted amused, “Legit.” Armin looked at both of them, “Legit, legit?” Eren nodded, “Legit, legit.” Armin pulled at the hem of his shirt, “We subscribe to a no lying and no secrets policy in this house. Whatever you want to discuss with me you can say in front of anyone in this home. I don’t want to be asked to do things in secret. I’m done with doing things like destroying global terrorist organizations on my own for a long while.” David didn’t really know what to say, “David’s humor is sometimes lost.” Levi offered and Armin smirked, “Well, you better find it if you’re going to be around me for life. That’s how long you’ll be chained to me, probably. Are you interested in threesomes?” Levi burst into thunderous laughter as David’s skin turned bright red, “No, I must decline.” Armin gave Eren a wicked look, “Oh, you’re going to be fun, David.” Eren snorted, “If improper things make you uncomfortable Armin is going to be your death. He’s a nymphomaniac with a penchant for mind games and he will always surprise you. 20 years later and I’m still guessing.” David felt the weight of those words as Armin practically floated to the piture of cold water and lemons Levi pulled out for him. 

He filled two glasses before excusing himself, “Erwin’s still asleep. How long till dinner, Zelvel?” Levi rolled his eyes, “Thirty minutes.” Armin nodded passing behind Eren and leaning over kissing the top of his head, “Love you, Eren.” Eren folded his papers resigning himself to the fact he would get no more done, “Love you too, Arm.” And up the stairs Armin went leaving David with a strange fluttering of expectation of what their relationship would be like.

**************

Armin opened the door quietly looking at Erwin’s sleeping form. His arm continued to go through periods of excruciating pain and it killed Armin to watch helplessly. Levi had set a surgery date for the coming week and Erwin had received the okay to continue his studies online and work on his dissertation. He’d finished his B.A. last semester in his autopilot functioning. He would now fast track his way through his masters expanding on his book. Armin was so proud and was currently reading his book with fervor. 

He drank a good portion of his water setting them down on the side tables. He climbed in bed picking up Erwin’s book and finding his place. He read and read, lost in the story and studying the pictures they had gathered. When he felt Erwin’s hands move under the covers searching for him he moved closer letting skin touch skin. Erwin and he hadn’t found each other physically yet. They were content with long talks and gentle holding. He knew that once Erwin felt they were ready he’d attack him, devour him, and reclaim what was his. He looked at the metal bracelet, pitted and scratched from months in the battle zone. 

”Baby?” Erwin mumbled into the pillow, “Baby?” Armin stroked Erwin’s hair out of his face, “I’m here.” Erwin opened his eyes blinking the sleep form them and focusing on Armin, “What are you doing?” Armin smiled, “Reading.” Erwin huffed, “I know, but what?” Armin’s smile turned lopsided, “You’re book.” Erwin closed his eyes pulling Armin closer and down on the pillow beside him. He place the book behind Armin before wrapping his arms around him and engulfing him in his large body.

Armin submitted willingly letting Erwin's hands explore his body, letting him hold him and lull him into a sense of security he'd never have anywhere else. Armin moved his head beneath his chin kissing lightly the skin of Erwin's neck and collar bones. He hummed in content as Erwin moved the covers around them tighter like a cocoon. "Baby, what happened to Simone?" Armin nuzzled him, "She went back to the Netherlands." "Did you love her?" "No, well, like a friend I cared about her and was fond of her. She was my confidant for those last three months." "Did she love you?" "I think she almost did but I made sure she knew that I'd never be with anyone other than you. She got a husband that didn't beat her, hurt her emotionally, and took care of her needs. She was the envy of other wives but we never were physical.” “Did she ever find someone for her physical needs or did she love someone else?” “No. I wouldn’t have minded if she loved another but if it had been another soldier I would have had to kill him." "Why?" "Because love makes you let down your boundaries and tell secrets. I couldn't let her tell mine. Love makes you do crazy things. My love for you would have made me kill her lover to ensure that I protected you even if it hurt her. I just had to dig deep and really look at things from a black and white perspective and take most of the grey out." 

" I am glad that you love me and you are not my enemy." "You've said that before. I am terrifying. I terrify myself. But I am what I had to become. My parents were so bipolar that I fractured off into different personas or rather those personas each became equally dominant and they took on a life of their own. It's how I survive. But, Erwin when I'm with you I am me. I am myself. I let you take control and sit back and for once the wheels turning in my head aren’t so loud and it is the sweetest joy I have ever felt. To be loved by you and to love you is my heaven. I live to love you and I love to love you.” “I love you, too. But, I feel like you’re still afraid that I’m not okay with what’s happened and will leave you or…” “For me, the ultimate fear is that one day something tragic will happen to us and change us to the point of no return. Was wenn wir nicht wir? (What then, when we are not “we”?) I won’t let that happen. I will always fight to protect us." “We will always be us. How about we decide right now to go back to our carefree happiness? Let’s choose to be happy now and let the past stay in the past. We have a wedding to plan, after all.” 

Erwin kissed the top of Armin's head, "I’d love to hear you declare your undying love for me." He murmured in his hair chuckling. Armin smirked, "Is that what you want to hear from me? You want me to worship you?" Armin smiled waiting for a response. "Of course, I worship you, Armin. But, a little ego stroking from my baby every now and then won't hurt." Armin giggled, "Sir, I stroke your ego often and well." Erwin rolled over on top of Armin pinning him beneath him with his weight, "I'm glad you're back, baby." "I am, too. Dinner is in a few." Erwin groaned, "God, yes. I am so hungry." Armin brought his hands up to cross his arms behind Erwin's neck, "Good, you need to put some weight back on. I bet I could toss you around like a rag doll." Armin was playing but it was also a challenge. Erwin had missed this, missed him. Armin kept Erwin on his toes, burned him when he left himself open to it, exalted him on high when speaking about him, and defended his honor. Erwin did the same for Armin but there was jusr this tenacity to Armin that made everything he did glow. He'd thought of everything, for example.

Wordlessly he'd known Erwin would have hidden fears about what Abulafia had said so he produced his journals he'd had sent away before the attack. He had Abulafia's DNA for testing, though he knew Erwin may never want to know. Marilyn's side of the story was still in progress. It was now accepted that he did have a middle name, Ziv. It was accepted that she was more than likely from Israel or Palestine but whether she was Jewish or not was still up in the air. Armin had made every allowance for Erwin to hate him and to lash out. He’d been transparent about his time with the terrorists. Levi believed him implicitly and that meant Erwin could, too. If Levi knew he was no snake he could go back to loving him like he had. And loving him is what he did.

Armin kissed Erwin softly humming to himself, “Let’s go.” Erwin moved to get up and before Armin’s feet touched the floor he tossed him over his shoulder and left the room. “Erwin!” Armin chastised, “Put me down!” Erwin growled, “ _Baby_ doesn’t tell _daddy_ what to do.” And that shut Armin up. It would seem there was a new development in their play.

Downstairs David was helping Levi finish baking the challah. Erwin stopped in the doorway as he saw the huge man in his kitchen. Eren, Jean, and Marco seemed to be okay with him but the smiling and talkative Levi made him suspicious. He was also a bit jealous that he was no longer the largest and most handsome man in the room. _Vain, yes, important to him, very._ “Who are you?” David looked up from whipping some sort of toping to meet Erwin’s intimidating glare. A tense moment passed as Jean looked to Marco mouthing “uh oh” to which Marco covered him mouth to keep from giggling. They’d just been talking about what Erwin might do when he saw his dark twin. “I’m David. You must be Mr. Smith.” David wiped his hands on a nearby towel before walking over to Erwin.

He stopped before him extending his hand to shake Erwin’s but Erwin didn’t move. David spared a shy glance at Armin who was tossed over his shoulder, “Should I wait till you put Mr. Arlert down or?” Erwin moved back, _Mr. Arlert? He’s about to be Mr. Smith so back off_ , “How do you know Armin?” Armin sighed, _Oh no…_ , “Erwin, this is David and he’s been assigned to me by Shin Bet.” Erwin flushed red and shook from welling up anger, “You don’t need a body guard. You’re here with me and protected.” Armin started to climb down from his shoulders, “He’s not really that. He’ll be in Atlanta most of the time. Plus, when he does visit it’ll be mostly to hang with Levi, I’m sure.” Erwin kept a tight grip on Armin pulling him back into his side, “How do you know Levi?’ Levi started plating food for a family style pass and grab sort of dinner, “David is my brother. Now sit and let’s eat. I don’t have time for your possessive jealousy right now.” Eren snorted when Erwin gave Levi the most offended face and David quickly lowered his hand feeling much more awkward than before. 

The dinner was a bit tense as Levi and David seemed to be able to hold a conversation of their own with just glances. Erwin was feeling very jealous. “So, Mr. Lavie, were you a boyfriend of Levi’s?” “Oh, goodness, no.” The tension rose as Armin shifted closer to Eren. “And you’re going to be here how ofter?’ “I’ve yet to speak with Mr. Artlert but I was hoping to set up a schedule for every other weekend.” “Will you be spending time here at the house?” “I can meet here or at another previously agreed on location if that suits Mr. Arlert.” “Well, I hope you’re not counting on those being private meeting.” Erwin’s smile made his words sting even more and David felt himself being moved against his will on to the offensive where he’d rather not be with someone so important to Levi. 

Erwin and David were silent for a moment before he spoke, “Mr. Smith I will treat Mr. Arlert with the utmost professional respect. We will need to meet regardless of whether any chaperon can be made available for the event.” Erwin felt his nostrils flare in anger, _you little shit._ Erwin tried to force his anger down, “How long have you and Levi known each other?” Erwin tried to sound nonchalant. “I’ve known him since I was five. I only got to see him in the summers up until we were ten.” This was new to Erwin, “Why only till ten.” David’s mouth fell a bit until he caught himself and shut it. “That’s when my mother died.” Levi’s words pierced through silence, “I was taken to New York to live with Kenny. You know about me living with Kenny but not about Williamsburg.” Erwin was very uncomfortable now. Armin elbowed him. He turned and Armin’s eyes were wide and innocent as he stuck a spoon full of mashed potatoes in his mouth, “Just hush for right now, daddy.”

After dinner Levi patted David on the back, “Where are you staying till you begin work?” David went to do the dishes escaping Levi’s when he tried to take the dishes from him. Levi snorted and thought, _looks like I’m not the only OCD one in the house anymore._ “I’m staying in the hotel down the street.” Levi tch’ed, “No, you’re staying here.” David held his ground, “No, I am an uninvited guest. You can invite me to stay tomorrow and the next night but not tonight. I cannot intrude on you.” Levi sighed, “You can break the rules just once, David. I know you know how to.” He raised his eyebrows laughing as David slapped him with the sink dishcloth, “shtok (be silent; shut up).” 

”Will you sing for me, achki?” David moved to hug Levi. Israelis were notoriously affectionate, something David wasn’t too keen on but for Levi he couldn’t help express his feelings through actions. “Only if you sing with me.” David demurred, “I’m no good.” Levi pulled him into the living room, “What song?” David rubbed his neck, “Whatever you think I’ll manage.” He laughed nervously as Levi let his fingers glide over the keys soundlessly, “Eren?” Eren had come back from changing into his night clothes into the living room, “Yes?’ “Is there a song you’d like to hear?” Eren took a moment to think, “Hava Nagila.” David tried to suppress his amused smile, “Really? How cliché.” Eren shrugged, “I know but I’m in the mood for it. The French version, please Neshama.” Eren batted his eyelashes and Levi turned to mush, “Hava Nagila it is.” David sat down at the piano with him and they sang and sang until it was very late and then they parted with hugs and kisses and promises to return tomorrow.

Levi walked upstairs to his room and found Eren reading in bed, “I hope he didn’t think I was rude. I just needed to get this stuff done, you know?” Levi smiled crawling in, “He understood. I promise.” He kissed Eren sweetly, “We are so lucky that he’s assigned to us.” Eren chuckled, “You’re so lucky. If he’s your brother then why-“ “Eren, I know I haven’t talked about David but that’s how it is. David has been on assignment for so long and I’m lucky to get an email that lets me know he’s alive every few months. But, he’s also the type of relationship that we don’t have to speak every day. We are as close as blood and we understand each other flawlessly.” Eren put his books aside as Donner jumped off the bed to go find Commander, more than likely, and he took the chance to engulf Levi in a full body hug, “Levi?” He nuzzled his face against his as Levi squirmed, “Brat?” Eren rolled on top of him, “So, Erwin nearly lost his shit. He was so green I thought Armin was gunna put him to bed.” 

Levi stilled, “Really?” Eren hummed, “He shoved those potatoes in his mouth and that was code for “watch yourself motherfucker or I’ll go sleeper cell Armin on you and bitch slap yo ass.” I mean, I can understand it, I guess. Erwin does like to control everything. Recently, he’s been out of control just passively existing with us these last months. A new and seriously attractive man shows up who is going to be spending time with your lover, your old lover slash best friend, and he knows all of these things that you don’t would make anyone jealous. I mean, he’s now in trouble and might lose his title as most handsome. What will he do then? He’s only got his looks.” Eren teased but not really. Eren was hoping Levi would get the hint that right now everyone was unsettled and this was just another thing that was rocking the recently steadied boat. Luckily, Levi was looking at it from Eren’s perspective now and he had to agree. Mentioning David would have been beneficial but since he was in Shin Bet he hadn’t. He couldn’t open that door. 

Levi moved to get up, “I need to see Erwin.” Eren whined, “But, Neshama…I’m all alone. Even Donner left!” Levi made his way out the door and to Erwin’s room where he entered, “Erwin?” In the darkness he could see where Erwin was reclined on the bed, Armin’s head on his chest fast asleep, “Levi?’ Levi stood in the doorway, “Let’s talk.” Erwin moved placing Armin’s head on the pillow and kissing him.

They sat in Erwin’s study, So, your best friend left?" Erwin stated coolly flipping through a stack of papers involving re-enrolling Armin and bringing him legally back from the dead. They'd stopped in Germany before coming back over to see his opa who left after the news of Armin’s death not wanting to live in the house anymore that reminded him of his beloved grandson. Armin had been pulled even more out of the darkness after running into his arms. Erwin was healing but he was by no means as thick skinned as before. This David situation was salt in the wound. Levi's eyes were hooded and tired, "David worked for Shin Bet and if I had brought that up then you would have become suspicious. It was also just one of those things." 

"No, elaborate." Levi sighed, "One of the last things that’s mine, Erwin. We told each other everything while we worked together and while we were abducted. David and Williamsburg are mine. They're all I have that's mine. David is wonderful and pure. He worked endlessly to get us out of Badschi and nearly lost his job going rogue. Going rogue or A-Wall isn't too big of a deal for us, we're natural rebels but for David," Levi whistled, "that is unthinkable. He follows orders. He's reliable. He's calm under any circumstance. He protected us in our _trial_ Erwin, as a witness in our defense. He provided evidence to support that we were not double agents and absolved us of our crimes of murder. You owe him big time and you didn't even know it." Erwin mulled it over, "I still don't like it." Levi huffed, "I understand." "Do you like him more than me?" "Erwin, he's my brother. I feel about him like Eren does Mikasa." "You didn't answer my question." "I like you two the same." "I'd rather you liked me more." "Of course you would, you jealous old man. But, I like you equally." "That wounds me." "Shuushhh." Levi sat up walking over and kissing Erwin, "I'm glad you’re getting back to you old self." Erwin rubbed his arm as Levi helped him, _I have to fix this arm for good this time._ Erwin sighed resting his hand on Levi’s, "We were all so sad for so long anything is an improvement."

Levi nodded, "How is Armin with you?" "Skittish." "How so?" "I think, I know, he's still afraid I'm going to just..." "Beat him and yell at him and punish him. He's got the signs of early PTSD. All we can do is continue to reaffirm we are not angry and we love him. He doesn't know where he fits after living a double life for so long." Erwin stood up hugging Levi close to him, "He fits right here." They went back to their respective rooms, Levi finding Eren laid out on the bed with Donner again watching cleaning infomercials and Erwin finding a teary eyed Armin clutching his pillow with the light from TV washing him and Commander in pale blues and whites. “Daddy, I just…thought you left. I’m sorry.” Erwin moved back into the bed right where he belonged with someone who loved him and wanted him.


	40. Black Tea

Things were still tense with David in the house. Erwin tried his best not to be jealous but David managed to bring a calmness to the home that settled Armin and made him more comfortable. Armin relentlessly teased him and exploited his reserved nature and Levi continued blossom underneath his gaze. David tried to include Erwin but he wasn’t making it easy. Marco had divulged that the years that David and Levi were children had been written already and he would lend him the notes if it became too much. Marco and Jean were the peace keepers between the couples and for that he was grateful. Living this lifestyle had its difficulties when it came to communication.

Before David left Armin that first weekend, he was sitting beneath a mountain of covers while David sat on the other end of the couch. “David, what are some of your interests?” David was wearing a well cut and expensive suit in a deep amber jewel tone with a crème shirt and black paisley tie. On any other man it would have look comical but on David it looked like it had come off the runway. “I have a few passions: Japanese manga and anime, oriental art, literature, horses, and sparring. Levi and I used to have matches when he would visit me in Israel.” Armin moved closer making David squirm a bit about proper distances between new acquaintances. “Really? I bet that was a sight to see, a young Levi and you fighting. Do you also like oriental dress and I know this is rather rude but would you mind telling me what your ethnicity is? I think you’re Japanese but…I know that’s really rude but please, we’ve got bets going and I want to win.” 

David smiled a small smile at Armin’s cute expression. He was a very likable assignment, “I enjoy fashion because I believe it’s an art form and oriental fashion is one of the highest of that form. You can tell a story just by how a silk drapes. What you cover and uncover can also be an expression of ideals and or a personification of beauty. My ethnicity is Jewish.” David paused and Armin’s brain turned over and over until the gears stopped, “Um, I kind of understand.” He mumbled but David began to laugh and it was full like red wine. “I’m Hasidic, Japanese, Mongolian, and Scandinavian. 

Armin smiled coyly, “Did you tease me, David?” David felt himself smirk, “Perhaps.” Armin turned back to the TV drinking his HighC Punch juice box Eren brought him earlier. “How…how does…” David lost his nerve. Armin’s eyes stayed glued to the screen, “It’s okay, ask me anything.” David should really ask Levi this but he was told that this house was transparent so asking Armin was just as good as asking anyone else, “How do your relationships work, exactly? Are you friends with Eren or…or?” David felt his cheeks warm as Armin smiled in understanding.

”Okay, Eren and Jean are my oldest and closest friends. I lived with Eren for a long time because I have horrid parents. Jean and Eren dated but that wasn’t meant to be and they broke up and we all went back to normal. Our normal, however, was being closer than blood and we did sleep with one another just never all three together, okay? Eren and I tended to sleep together more often and we also developed this indescribable bond. Eren and I realized that living apart just couldn’t work. We’d be miserable without one another. When we came to school we decided to work on us but we met Erwin and Levi. We started dating, neglected our own relationship and these looming questions and issues eventually came to a head and we fought and Levi and Erwin overheard us. That then revealed that they were in the same position as us. They were closer than family, lovers but not soul mates, and they knew that asking people to accept the lifestyle of “I always have to live with or be near this other person” wasn’t acceptable. Well, until they asked us and we asked them and then things just fell into place and now we all live together and get what we want. The two most important people in our lives are with us every day and will always be with us.” 

”I’m marrying Erwin, he’s mine. We’re in a relationship that’s intimate and takes priority. Levi and Eren are also in that type of relationship. But, there are times where I need Eren and Erwin needs Levi. We need each other like air, we heal one another after all the things we’ve gone through. To be blunt, because really this is all emotionally complicated and messy, I can have sex with Eren but not Levi and vice versa…..well….I guess that’s still the arrangement.” David was embarrassed but curios, “What do you mean?” Armin shrugged, “When I was….gone…when I was dead….it was Erwin, Eren, and Levi. They were together. I know that that meant the arrangement changed because well, I was dead and that’s how it would have been if we were older and Erwin died. I’d have just stayed with Levi and Eren. We’re a marriage in and of itself. It’s fucked up and it’s not the norm but it works for us, makes us feel secure, and we’re all committed to it. Jealously hasn’t been a problem, really. It was oppressive before we had the fight and came to this wonderful arrangement.” 

David contemplated things for a bit, “Jean and Marco?’ Armin shook his head, “Are our family but not in this arrangement at all. Marco and Jean don’t share. We’re just fine with that. Someone has to be normal, you know?” He gave David a devilish smile, “Yes, I suppose so.” David smiled and then patted Armin’s covers, “I must leave now, Mr. Arlert. I have a long drive and early morning.” Armin rolled his eyes, “Just call me Armin.” David considered it and then decided against that, “Not yet, Mr. Arlert.” He climbed the stairs to find Levi feeling very awkward going through someone’s house un-chaperoned, “Levka?” He heard the door open slightly to a room, “David.” 

He found Levi and Erwin in an office sitting together on a couch with papers around them. “Shin Bet wants to order my serum and I needed to go over patents. It’s not even finished and I still have to work out kinks but they want a batch sent for testing.” Legal books littered the floor. On a side table, pictures of Erwin and Levi with various others along stood. In the center of the wall there was a large painting of a fox and a wolf in the middle of a snowy forest about to brawl that spoke to David in amazing ways, “Who is the artist?” Erwin turned to look at the painting and back to David, “Jean. He’s marvelous.” David agreed.

**************

Life went on and work at the consulate was strange compared to what he’d been doing in the field for two years. He spoke with his colleagues, went to grab food at a nice kosher restaurant near his penthouse apartment which was a thank you for his service and the role he had played in saving the daughter of the hotel owner after a raid in 2006. Every morning he woke up to classical music or world music of some sort, opening his mailbox to sort through emails, drink his coffee, and read articles. He reclined in his leather Bauhaus chair, spotless chrome and glass furniture, mirrored how he lived his own life. _Everything in its place and a place for everything._ Levi and David were two halves of the same whole when it came to order and cleanliness.

This morning, however, was a bit unusual. He opened an email from Armin who he’d just met with that weekend. They celebrated the festival for trees at Levi’s home. He’d spoken sitting in a fort Armin and Jean had made of pillows and sheets about the movement of the Wall in the US. Currently, a list of faculty who were known sympathizers was being compiled and Levi and Erwin were working on finding any dirt on them that could legally land them in jail and warrant expulsion from the university. What on earth could this be about?

  
Dearest David,  
Today there’s a fashion expo in Atlanta at the civic center downtown. I heard there will be a lot of good merchandise and was wondering if you’d pick up a blazer I bought for Erwin? The booth is run by a Ms. Delaine Kirschstein booth 312. She’s Jean’s mother and will be on the lookout for a drop dead gorgeous Mongolian warrior in a nice cut suit around five O’clock. Speak French with her and you’ll win her heart and hopefully a good deal on something you like from her collection. I thank you in advance, mon cher. :-*  
Armin  


David closed the email and thought about it the entire day at work. What nerve that little nymph had not even asking but rather already expecting he’d go and run his errand. The weather was bad in Atlanta and they were speaking about tornado warnings and thunderstorms grounding flights at the international airport. The city was packed with out of towners and parking would be insane downtown. But, lucky for Armin he was already parked downtown and the civic center was only a short walk away. He ate his lunch in the cafeteria, like every day in the corner with his newspaper, content to be alone and relax after the altercations with unhappy people looking for passports and visas.

”Shalom, my name is Liat.” He heard a young woman say as she appeared at his table. “Shalom, I’m David.” He nodded politely. She had light blonde hair, icy blue eyes and a face that reminded one of a mischievous fox. “I work in the office but you come in before me and leave after me. We’ve never actually been introduced and I see you sitting alone everyday at lunch. Would you like some company?” David found her pleasing; she was petite, perhaps just under 5’1. She wore a black pencil skirt and white button up with a Star of David pen on her lapel. “Actually, I just tend to read on my lunch. If you’d like to join me then that’s fine.” 

She gave him an amused look before sitting with her lunch, “How long have you been in America?” “Only a few short weeks. Are you from here?” “No, I’m from Russia.” David thought that fit her well. Her appearance did seem Siberian in its rawness. He had always had an issue with conversing with females. He never wanted to offend them and meeting new people wasn’t his forte at all. “Russia is a beautiful country. It has a rich history.” He felt lame and he was but slick lines had never appealed to him and thus he never learned any. She giggled and from there they managed a slightly one sided conversation. It was clear to him she was interested and he wondered if this would be worth pursuing in the long run. She offered him her number and the more he thought about it the more it appealed to him. 

By the time 5 came around most had already left due to the weather. David made his way into the center looking for 312. The sooner he did this the sooner he could head home and decide on where he’d get dinner. “David?” an appealing French accent permeated his conscious, “Mademoiselle Kirschstein?” He replied noting a woman who Jean favored, “Qui qui qui!” She moved from behind the counter and continued in French, “You are the most handsome man I’ve ever seen. stunning. I have Armin’s gift but I am in desperate need of a favor.” David enjoyed Ms. Kirschstein and a woman in need would never be turned away from him, “Anything.” She smiled mischievously, “I need a model, just for one specific client. She has been working on accustom order for me and if it goes well it could help her career. She’s very dear to me and came all this way and really, between you and me, it’s been a rough day.” David nodded and he was pushed into a changing stall of silk curtains, “Just take your shirt off. She’ll bring in the undershirt and blazer.” She closed the curtains and he removed the top of his outfit, “Are the pant’s going to be okay?”

He heard mumbling and then “Oh, yes. Armin said you dressed well and those pants are tailored to perfection.” More mumbling and he stood torso bared behind the curtains until the opened again and he felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. It was painful and shocking just like when Levi kicked him too hard sparring and broke a rib. He was also, blissfully, pleased. _HaShem, toda._

Before him stood a visibly flustered woman clad in a short form fitting white Chanel dress and russet colored faux fur coat. Her legs were beautifully highlighted in knee high stiletto white sued boots that made the expanse of bare thigh between boot and dress him tantalizingly sinful and very _improper_ for him to be staring at. This beauty, which had gotten into her Nissan Z at Levi’s was now clutching a pressed pale sky blue dress shirt with an opal sheen and in the clutch of her elbow a work of art rather than a blazer forest green with a custom print stitched in. Her mouth was slightly open and she looked like a deer in headlights but David didn’t notice.

”H-h-i-i.” She stuttered, _Oh God, why did I just stutter like a child?_ David was still caught in a daze, “Hello.” She handed him the shirt, shaking. To him her motions were fluid and delicate. But, there was power behind them like that of a ballerina. It is only the illusion of fragility they exude for underneath they are athletes of the highest order. “My name is David Lavie. May I ask yours?” She was looking down with her long black hair hiding her face. Her voice was small as she worked the hanger out of the jacket, “Mikasa.” David thought her voice sounded like strings on a harp, “ _Battleship,_ ” he whispered as she looked up holding the jacket open for him. Her eyes held a bit of pride when she met his, “How did you know?”

He pulled the jacket on turning his back so that she didn’t see his cheeks warm as her word touched him and made him feel a stirring in his soul he’d never heard before, “It’s Japanese. It suits you.” She pulled the jacket at the edges fixing it, “Button it please.” He did as he was told and soon she pulled him outside for an older gentleman, “Oh, this is beyond expectation, Miss Ackermann.” The name struck him, _Ackermann, Mikasa Ackermann._ “I want this one and more. We’ll be in contact.” She didn’t show outward emotion but after her polite nod and hand shake he could tell she was thrilled. He marveled at her slightly pink cheeks and delicate mouth. Her eye lashes were long like reeds on the shore. She was a jewel of the orient. She had stolen his soul.

Things went quickly from there, Ms. Kirschtein handed him the blazer and Mikasa was embraced and soon they were leaving, He tried to walk close but not too close to her as she pulled a large leather bag on her shoulder, “Please, let me carry that to your car. It looks heavy. Ms. Kirschstein also said you’d had a rough day.” He added quickly hoping to not offend her. He figured his comment could be taken as sexist to some. “You don’t have to. I’m waiting on my ride to pick me up in front.” She moved a strand of hair behind her ear demurring. Her nails were long and painted black with small diamonds on the tips. “Would you allow me to hold it while you wait then?” She pulled at the strap and then handed it over. 

The bag was very heavy and he was glad she was letting him carry it. Her small legs teetering on small heels amazed him. Women, in general, always amazed him. He never saw them as weaker or lesser. In fact, that was something that had earned him flack from other boys his age because he viewed them as stronger, wiser, more capable than men. They could create life, they raised children into adults, they were fierce, cunning, and resourceful. They were to be loved, worshiped, cherished and treated equally and fairly in all aspects of life. He found himself wanting to cherish Mikasa Ackermann like Levi had wanted to cherish Mila Pefferberg. “I have to call my ride to make sure they know where to pick me up. Please excuse my rudeness.” She opened her phone and stepped out on the sidewalk into the rain. 

He wanted to tell her she’d get wet but obviously she thought it necessary and was thinking she’d need to waive her ride down, “Are you lost?” Her voice sounded concerned, “What do you mean you can’t come? You do realize I’m stranded if you don’t come. Why-why do you think that’s okay?” She was angry and she turned exasperated to look down at the ground, “I can’t believe you.” She hung up turning to come out of the rain before she ruined her clothes. Unfortunately, she was slapped with a wave of water from a car coming by too close to the curb and going too fast in the downtown area. She gasped loudly at the cold. David felt himself become more alert. It was like he was hotwired to her every move and emotion.

David stepped towards her, “My car isn’t far.” She nodded allowing him to guide her to his car. She felt herself smile at the gentleness with which he held her arm in his and the care he took with her. Inside his car she shook and reality set in. “I know it’s not proper for you to be alone with a man you don’t know and in his car. I know you know Levi and you must be from Maria so, if you’ll allow me, I can take you back to Maria or call you a car if you’re uncomfortable.” Mikasa was very embarrassed, “Could you take me to a hotel? I’ll get a room for the night and call Eren to come in the morning.” 

David’s brow furrowed, “You know Eren as well?” He started the car pulling out into the drive. He noted she was shaking so he turned the heat on and seat warmers offering her his jacket as well, “He’s my brother.” _Brother? What?_ Mikasa looked around the sleek black BMW. “Adopted.” She offered and he understood. Mikasa really didn’t want to call him and explain why she was stranded in Atlanta. He’d get angry and over react. Her anxiety was rising by the moment.

David understood, “I have to go drop this blazer off in Maria for Armin and that means I won’t have to go into work tomorrow. I can take you in the morning if that would keep Eren from becoming upset.” Mikasa looked up at him with a suspicious look in her eye that softened as the words started to click, “Thank you, David.” He pulled into his hotel’s parking lot. “This is my hotel. While you find a room here or wherever else in the city I’ll have them dry clean your clothes and you can wear some spares of mine.” He opened his door pulling out her bag and then rushed to her side opening the door for her. She thought he was a very proper gentleman.

Inside the penthouse he made himself scarce so as not to make her uncomfortable. She wore a dark purple t-shirt of his and some rolled gym shorts and a pair of fuzzy socks. Mikasa was cold but didn’t have much with her other than her socks and tennis shoes she brought to change into for the ride back to Maria. Her clothes were being cleaned but the city was booked to the max and the only rooms left were far outside the center and expensive. Not that price was a problem but she didn’t want to make him drive 40 minutes to and from for her. “Stay here. I have two spare bed rooms and if that makes you uncomfortable the doors lock from the inside. I could take you home tonight but the weather is moving in from Maria towards us and we’d be driving into it.”

She couldn’t ask him to do that and truthfully Mikasa didn’t want to leave yet, “If you don’t mind.” She gave David a pleading look. He rubbed the back of his neck, “I don’t.” Then silence again but it wasn’t awkward. They were content and after she moved to the couch pulling on a blanket around her shoulders she said, “Dinner?” He smiled, “Yes, let me change.” 

At Eli’s Jerusalem Grill Mikasa sat wearing her Keds tennis shoes cross-legged in the booth with a large IDF heavy duty green jacket and David in his loose fitting black sweats he used to spar in and short sleeved deep red t-shirt. His black rain slicker sat next him along with a large umbrella. They were eating Israeli delights she associated now with Levi, Friday Shabbat, and Eren smiling ear to ear. She stole glances at David as he read his newspaper he’d not finished at lunch. She took the time to leisurely contact her new employer. “Is there anything good in the paper today?” She asked curiously but mostly to just hear his voice. 

David looked up, “Russia is still arguing with Turkey over the missile that was allegedly shot down.” Mikasa wiped her mouth with her napkin, “But, according to scientists neither are telling the truth.” David smiled, “Exactly. That’s how I feel about it. I think the only other interesting bit is about the fashion expo we were at today. If I’d been allowed to read my paper I would have known to enjoy my time there more.” He joked but his humor wasn’t always understood. Despite that, she seemed to really find that amusing and her eyes held a playful twinkle, “You would have then cherished every mannequin that bumped you and nearly tripped you.” “I would have taken the time to feel all of the different types of knit fabrics, too.” “And feign interest in the talk that “beads” are coming back.” “I am very excited about beads, Miss Ackermann. As you can tell, I am a man about beads and they complete all of my outfits.” She laughed and it nearly sent him to the hospital.

Their conversation was easy and the stretches of silence didn’t bother him. He held her door open, paid for their meal, made sure her bed had the most lush pillows and sheets for her stay. He found her sitting in living room reading on her phone. He made coffee, decaffeinated and dark, placing her cup near her with sweet freshly bake donuts. “Did you make these?” She pulled it apart looking at the delicious breading. “I did.” She smiled, “Do all Jewish boys know how to cook this well?” He flushed, “I can’t speak for all but Levi and I always found it a great distraction and way to calm the waters within.” He paused, “Do you cook?” Mikasa nodded, “I do but I’m not as good as Levi. People don’t come to me when they want food. They call me when they want a costume or a fight.” David must not have heard her correctly, “A fight?”

Mikasa met his gaze, “I spar, do kickboxing, martial arts, and other forms of fighting. It really helps me think.” He drank his coffee to keep from declaring passionate love for her, “I do as well.” Mikasa returned to her reading eating the donuts and marveling at their airy and sweet taste. “David?” He brought himself out of a daze, “Yes?” She squirmed down in the couch and blanket a bit more, “You’re staring.” He hadn’t realized, “I apologize. Please for forgive me.” He was thoroughly embarrassed and she nodded, “Of course.” 

********************8

The drive was quiet back to Maria. Mikasa had braided her long hair to the side. Her fur jacket still in its plastic in the back because she preferred the heavy duty jacket of David’s to keep her warm. “The roads are icy. I’ve not driven in ice in years.” He mumbled somewhat self-conscious as he and another card slid on the ice over the bridge, “You’re warm enough?’ Mikasa nodded pulling his jacket up a bit higher so she could smell him. He smelled like bitter orange leaves, geranium, sage, blue hyacinth, cedar wood, and Musk. “Should we stop for breakfast when we get to Maria?” Mikasa wanted to say yes but that wouldn’t be good, “What about at the next exit?” David looked at the sign of food places on the interstate for the next exit, “Of course, wherever you’d like, Miss Ackermann.” 

******************

In Maria he dropped her off at an automobile repair shop. “My car was in the shop. Everything happens at the last minute, you know?” She smiled as David opened her door, “I understand. I hope you have a wonderful day, Miss Ackermann.” David wanted to say more, wanted to drop to his knees and beg her to stay but that was ridiculous. He’d only just met her and when he laid awake last night he decided that it was only puppy love for she reminded him very much of Levi’s mother. “Shalom, David.” And with that she disappeared into the shop and he went to Levi’s house to deliver an impish Armin his parcel and be subjected to all manner of questions before Armin asked if he’d like to go on a run with him. He was pleasantly surprised and in need of the exorcise. When they raced Armin won and he bought him ice cream while they talked.

****************

Erwin would be having surgery on his arm next week and Armin was nervous. Eren was actively trying to distract himself with school work and cuddling with Armin. Levi’s eyes fluttered over his arm whenever he had time, noting the scars, noting the odd twitches, and remembering the last time he cut it open. David wanted to soothe him but it was useless. Levi was a self doubter, a perfectionist, a cursed person. He felt the weight of Erwin’s arm more than any other surgeon would. David was starting to see just how devoted to this man he was. 

Later David found Erwin in his study beneath a large and striking painting of Armin. He studied it closely, “Is this a representation of Armin during his time with Abulafia?” Erwin looked up from his work, “No, actually, just how he is to Jean. It is a bit of foreshadowing, isn’t it? Maybe, Jean always knew something like what has happened would happen? Who knows?” David moved more inside, “Mr. Smith, I’d like to get to know you better.” Erwin pulled off his glasses, “Don’t you already have access to my files?” He didn’t say it snappily but more honestly surprised so David took that as a positive turn in their relationship, “I try not to dig where I don’t need to dig. People deserve, are entitled to, a certain level of privacy.” Erwin studied David more closely at that statement, “Alright, let’s have some scotch and visit with one another.” He removed two crystal glasses off the tray and David sat near the fire content to be as open as possible. 

***************

”David?” her voice cut through his migraine, “Miss Ackermann?” She sounded nervous, “Are you home?” He was, lying on the bed with his head slowly splitting in two halves but he’d taken his medicine and the worst would be held off. For her, he’d be capable of miraculous self healing like Eren, “I am.” 

She made him black tea and got him a cold press for his forehead. “I’m scared.” She started, “of spiders.” His lips curled up at the corners, “I’m not.” She reached over removing his press, “What are you afraid of.” He let his eyes close, “Not much really. It’s more of something that could happen.” Mikasa admired the way his lips looked, how he chest rose and fell, and his hands as they pulled gently at the hem of his sleeves, “I’m afraid, Miss Ackermann, that one day I’ll have a family and they’ll be taken from me.” He heard her take in a sharp gust of air and when he opened her eyes she was silently crying, “Yes, that is a fear of mine as well. Other people,” She looked into his eyes and he felt the gravity of her words, “will never understand what it’s like to have your family taken from you.”

Later that evening David took her to a nice restaurant, one befitting her. She wore a backless black velvet dress with a long red pea coat. It was freezing but that didn’t prevent her from dressing to impress. Her black Louboutins and gold necklace were stunning accessories. Her hair was pulled up into a messy low bun. “That necklace is beautiful.” Her hand flew to it gently stroking the coins, “Eren gave it to me for my birthday. It’s handmade from the village in Turkey our mother’s family is from.” They ordered drinks, “Eren is a very good person.” She smiled, “A Mensch, I think.” His heart fluttered, “Certainly.”

They ate and then he took her to her car, “You must go back tonight?” She gathered her purse, “Yes, Erwin has surgery tomorrow and I’ll need to be there for Armin and Eren.” David moved to get out and open her door. As she was sliding into her car she gave him a nod and kissed his cheek. He blushed beneath the bright moonlight, “The interstate will be icy. Drive safely, Miss Ackermann.” _Drive safely because you carry my heart with you._ She looked like she wanted to say something but instead she smiled and left heading onto the motorway. 

*********

Erwin lost feeling in most of his arm before the surgery. It was essentially half dead. While Levi was preparing for surgery and knowing this didn’t forebode well. Eren had an idea that the serum wasn’t able to work properly because of the metal in Erwin’s arm. Levi hoped he was wrong but after they began cutting he saw that it had effectively encapsulated the metal and killed off the nerves. There was no amount of experience that could have prepared him for this. 

The pockets of tissue covering the metal were spreading and cutting off blood circulation. This was effectively killing the arm and if it spread then it could kill Erwin. How much of the serum was left in him was unclear. It started worrying him about his own leg. Was there a chance that he was a ticking time bomb? Levi felt the weight of choice crush him as he started to slice through flesh.

*****************

Armin’s face swam before him as he tried to focus his eyes, “Baby.” Armin was flushed and his eyes bloodshot from crying, “Erwin.” He leaned over onto his chest gripping the fabric, “I love you.” His voice was croaky, “Were you crying?” Armin nodded as Erwin shut his eyes again, “Levi?” There was no reply, “He’s with Eren.” Erwin understood, “Did he have an attack?” Armin sniffled and then started to cry again, “Yeah.” Erwin felt strange as he started regain feeling in his limbs and the fog of morphine started to fade.

This was the first time in recent history that his arm didn’t hurt. He was almost gleeful. He stretched as Armin crawled in the bed with him, body pressed close and small framed racked with the aftershocks of a heavy cry, “Baby, don’t cry.” He chuckled as Armin wept more. “Baby, shusshhh.” He carded his fingers through his hair, “The person who had surgery is the only one allowed to cry, Armin. I promise its okay.” When Armin continued to cry his worry grew and he became confused, “Armin, if you’re worried that I’m hurt or something then don’t be. It feels like my arm isn’t even there.” Armin was seized by violent shudders, “Erwin, “he lamented, “that’s because it’s not.”


	41. Dissatisfied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Warning: This chapter is about abusive relationships and contains sexual assault and themes associated with it. It references past sexual assault and rape, though there is no depiction of said rape nor is it explicitly called that. There is demeaning language used and sexual boundaries are pushed in play. 
> 
>  
> 
> If you want a summary just drop me a comment and I'll give you a run down without any explicit details.

Mikasa opened her eyes and the dread that engulfed her was palpable. Annie was next to her in their bed. The list of things Mikasa was angry about kept getting longer and longer. The house was wrecked, everything disgusting, their sheets dirty, clothes dirty, beer bottles, drugs, garbage it all just kept weighing on her and making her more and more and more and more, _more what?_ She thought about it longer, _dissatisfied._

Annie and Mikasa were walking on eggshells. Was she or was she not going to lose her cool and confront her? Should she confront her? What were they doing anymore with their relationship, with their life? “Miki,” Annie rolled over, her hands moving across Mikasa’s skin pulling her closer. She started peppering her shoulder with kisses and nibbles, “Mikasa” she breath across her skin. Mikasa didn’t want this. She didn’t want to sleep with Annie right now.

”No, not right now.” Annie whined slightly redoubling her efforts kissing her neck, “Come on, Miki.” She rolled her onto her back, hands tightening as Mikasa squirmed, “No.” Annie captured her lips, “Don’t be like that.” She started trying to remove her clothes despite Mikasa’s resistance. Annie would do this sometimes, just not listen and just keep going till Mikasa gave in. She was sick of this and she was pissed. She bit Annie’s lip as she kissed her. Annie reared back slapping her harshly on across the face. Mikasa gave her a deadly glare, “I said no. Get the fuck off.” Annie moved to the side as Mikasa started pulling on her clothes. Annie wiped the blood from her lip, “What the fuck is your problem? We haven’t had sex in weeks and now you bite me!?” Mikasa slammed her purse down checking its contents, “It doesn’t mean you can just demand sex! I said no. I can say no.” 

Mikasa left their bedroom heading down the stairs with Annie hot on her trail, “Stop! Where are you going?!” Mikasa started unlocking the front door, “OUT!” Annie pulled her back against the wall, “WHERE?” _Always with the where!?_ Annie had to know everything about her and who she was with and what she was doing constantly. Mikasa shoved her off, “Pay a fucking bill and I’ll tell you.” She spat at Annie and watched as her face flushed with anger. Annie swung and missed.”Your surrogate family the Jaegers pay our shit so who cares you little bitch!?”

Mikasa left, running to her car and jumping inside to avoid a brawl. 

*******************

Jean entered the studio space for fashion design in a hurry. He’d been asleep when she called him, “Don’t tell Eren. You know he’ll go crazy.” Jean found her, face bruised, in her space with her head in her hands. He sat down cupping her face, “She hit you?” Mikasa lied, “No, it was from sparring.” Jean tch’ed, “Lies. What are y’all doing? This isn’t healthy. It’s just like when Armin dated you know who.” Mikasa bit her lip, “Jean, I love her….or I think I do. I don’t know what’s going on anymore. I’m not happy but I don’t want to give up. I’ve been with her for over a year and we live together and it wasn’t all bad, especially in the beginning.” Jean knew there had to be more, “What else?” She looked disappointed, “I feel left out. She makes decisions with Reiner and Bertolt in mind but not me. I’m just supposed to go along with it. I’m also the one supporting us finically. Reiner and Bertolt have money problems and she’ll give them money but not contribute to us.”

Jean’s face hardened, “That isn’t right, Mikasa. She should put you and your relationship first. You have to tell her-“ “I have but it offends her and I understand that, too. I understand that I’m in a better position to take care of things right now.” “That doesn’t excuse it.” “I think maybe it does.” “Then you clearly have more problems than I ever thought.” The words just flew from his mouth, “You think I don’t notice that she controls you?” Mikasa’s face flushed and she felt cold, “Sh-she doesn’t.” Her own defense was weak, “She does. She bleeds you dry for money and you can’t be happy with the way she talks to you sometimes. You told us that you don’t come around because you’re trying to live your life and grow and that Eren and you shouldn’t be attached at the hip. That’s bullshit. She’s fucking jealous that you have Eren, that you have a family, that you have us. I see it when she’s over how she sneers at Erwin. She lets Levi off the hook because he’s from a similar place as she. I bet she thinks he’s won the ultimate game. From rags to riches and all on the dime of big daddy Smith. You protecting her isn’t worth it.” 

Mikasa knew he was right, “I just want it to work. I’ve put so much time and energy into it.” Jean pulled her in to his embrace, “Mikasa, you are a strong woman. You need someone who makes you stronger, not someone who puts you down and tries to cripple you.” Mikasa allowed him to comfort her somewhat. “I just need to talk to her. How is Erwin doing?” Jean shrugged, “You know, he’s actually doing pretty well. He’s grieved it and he wishes it could have been saved but because he’s not in pain anymore and that’s done wonders for his everyday life. We had no idea that his arm hurt him as bad and as often. Levi’s leg bothers him but it’s not constant like Erwin’s. The serum left when they removed the arm. Levi thinks it had concentrated there. Eren is…” Mikasa rolled her eyes, “Let me guess, trying to help?’ Jean laughed, “That’s correct.”

”She stood up to get ready to leave but Jean continued to sit, “Mikasa, please. Don’t stay with her.” She felt her heart breaking. “I have to make that choice on my own, Jean.” He nodded getting up, “Have you met David yet?” Her pulse quickened at the mention of his name. He was all she thought about at night, when she saw a nice suit, when she thought about the fact that she was in a way emotionally cheating on Annie with him. “He’s been assigned to Armin and he’s in town helping out. Levi’s still really raw and Eren is working nonstop and Hanji and Mila are sick and Armin and Erwin are out of it. So, David’s been helping Marco and I run things in the house for a bit while working on finding people involved in the US portion of the Wall.” Mikasa thought that sounded very like David. Helping out others in a time of need, “That’s very nice of him. Would you spar with me?” Jean smirked, “I’ll kick your ass is what I’ll do.” And with that they went to the student activity center.

***********************

Mikasa returned home to the house cleaned and clothes in the washer. It was tidy but still not exactly as she’d have done personally. Annie stood in the kitchen, “Mikasa, I love you. I don’t want to lose you. Please forgive me.” And for some reason she did as she did all the other times before. She was committed to making it work with Annie. Annie loved her and wanted her and she couldn’t just give up on them.

******************

A week later it was a different story. Mikasa didn’t mind passionate sex or even rough sex but Annie was now just hurting her. She was sadistic and didn’t listen to her when they played. She ignored her requests and instead guilted Mikasa into her own like demeaning language. Mikasa didn’t like being called a slut or a whore and especially not a bitch but Annie really got off on calling her those things and she didn’t think it was fair to deny her. She told herself it wasn’t that serious.

Armin had invited her over to hang out but she’d declined. The bills were coming in and she needed to finish her orders but Annie wanted her to shuck the upcoming meetings she had and go with her out of town. Mikasa often found herself not taking opportunities that would take her away from Annie or rather make Annie feel less than. Annie still hadn’t revealed what she did for work and drug dealing was a part of it. Reiner had become more distant lately and when Mikasa was with him he often gravitated towards her wordlessly creating a strange atmosphere between them.

Mikasa was now face down on her stomach, hair pulled tight by Annie’s hands as she pounded into her. “Fuck yes.” Annie’s voice was rough and aroused as Mikasa clenched around the strap on. “Mikasa, fuck, you’re such a dirty whore. Aren’t you?” _No, I’m not._ Mikasa just wanted this to be over. She wasn’t in the mood anymore after Annie started demeaning her and she wasn’t feeling the situation, “yes” she said unenthused. Annie slapped her ass, “What was that?’ Mikasa clenched her eyes at the sting, “YES.” _No, and this is fucking horrible._ Annie finished falling on top of Mikasa, her binder creating an uncomfortable heat on her sweaty back. 

She started kissing down Mikasa’s back, “Love you.” Mikasa didn’t really feel all that well about anything right then but then again couples go through phases, maybe this is just a phase they’re going through? They tell couples to keep having sex even if they’re not really feeling it because it keeps them bonded and eventually helps them stay strong and work through their issues but maybe that wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. She made to move, “Annie, I want to clean up.” Annie let go, “Whatever you want, Miki.” Mikasa sat up climbing off the bed with an empty feeling in her chest. She went into their on suite and jumped into the cold shower rinsing off her body and cleaning herself when she heard the bedroom door slam open, “We can’t keep doing this! You have to tell her!” Mikasa turned off the water puling the towel quickly off the rack and storming into the bedroom.

Bertolt was standing in their bedroom while Annie covered her mouth. When Mikasa appeared Bertolt moved towards her, “Mikasa, Annie has something she wants to tell you.” Annie shook her head, “No, I don’t! Shut the fuck up, Bertolt. Have you lost your mind?” Bertolt chewed his lip, “Annie, don’t do this.” Mikasa grabbed clothes where ever she could. “What do you have to tell me, Annie? Bertolt wouldn’t just come here and say that for no reason.” Annie became extremely angry, “I DON’T KNOW WHY THE FUCK HE’S HERE.” Bertolt steeled himself, “We’re sleeping together. We’re in a relationship, Mikasa. I’m sorry. We thought it was just a onetime bad judgment thing but I love Annie and I want to be with her and I can’t keep betraying you.” Mikasa felt like she wanted to vomit, “For how long?” Bertolt looked ashamed, “Six months.”

Mikasa looked to Annie who shoved Bertolt out the door, “Leave!” Mikasa started packing up her things, “I’m leaving.” Annie stood by the door, “No.” Mikasa had her most important things in her back pack, “Annie, I’m leaving. Move.” She didn’t instead she played the one trump card she had, “You’re just going to abandon me like everyone else? I stood by you all through Eren’s scare, Armin’s death, your parents fighting about Eren’s lifestyle. I was there for you and now you’re going to listen to Bertolt?” “Yes! Are you saying he’d come here and lie about this?” “I AM SAYING HE’S LYING!” “ANNIE LISTEN TO YOURSELF! FOR ONCE FUCKING LISTEN TO THE SHIT THAT TOPPLES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH! You feed him, clothe him, give him money, and more. You don’t pay any of our bills-“ Annie punched the wall, “THERE IT IS! YOU RESENT THAT I DON’T COME FROM MONEY LIKE YOU.” Miksas reeled, “You know I don’t care that you don’t have a lot of money.” 

“Yes, you do. I’ve never been good enough for you. All I am is your poor ass gangster girlfriend that you’re sleeping with to piss the Jaegers off. You want nice things and you hate that I can’t buy you those nice things.” Mikasa and Annie had had this fight so many times it was insane. Rehashing this wasn’t going to change anything, “Who fucking took you in and helped you explore yourself and your sexuality. Oh, let me guess. I was just practice.” Mikasa tried to move towards the door but she was stopped by Annie’s hands, “Whose gunna put up with you? Where are you going to get what you need like you get from me? You’re not that fucking interesting.” She pushed Mikasa back, “You’re not leaving. Forget what he said.”

Who did she trust? Who would like her if she left Annie? She was boring compared to others and Annie took care of her and doted on her and made her feel special. Well, she had in the beginning. She’d made her world come alive, she was calm stoic, a great fighter, and she had welcomed Mikasa with open arms even though she wasn’t experienced with women. She was her first love. 

But, she wasn’t comfortable staying here the night after Bertolt said the things he did. There’s no way he’d have made that up. Annie watched as Mikasa turned it all over in her head and fearing that she’d leave she decided to threaten her, “Stop being such a bitch and just submit.” The match struck and the world was now ablaze, _I am not a fucking bitch._ Mikasa’s eyes turned fierce and he body posture changed, “We’re done. I’m leaving for good. We’re over for real, Annie. I’ll come back for the rest of my things with Eren.” She moved forward and Annie panicked. _NO! You will not leave me._

Annie’s fist connected with Mikasa’s face and then they started to brawl. Both girls grappled with each other, fighting ravenously like wolves ripping off pieces of flesh. Annie pinned Mikasa beneath her, “What’s wrong, little bitch, you know you like it rough.” Her hands roamed her body burning Mikasa’s skin with their touch. They rolled as Mikasa tried to fight her off, “Fuck you.” Mikasa got the upper hand rolling on top till Annie grabbed an empty bottle and broke it on the side of her head. She gritted her teeth but kept control of Annie until she managed to choke her out. Annie passed out and Mikasa grabbed everything she couldn’t replace and left for her car. 

Bertolt was outside along with Reiner and they were yelling, “What are you doing?’ Bertolt watched as Mikasa threw her things in her car. “I’m leaving. I’m calling the police.” Reiner stood behind Bertolt, “They’re on their way.” Bertolt paled turning around aghast, “YOU CALLED THE POLICE!?” Reiner held his gaze, “She tried to hurt Mikasa. Look at her head. She’s violent. You know that she is and I’m angry. How could you?” Bertolt screamed when the sirens could be heard, “I LOVE HER!” Reiner looked like he’d been slapped, “And I love you.” He shrugged and Mikasa felt such pity. “Looks like know one is going to be happy.” Mikasa felt feint as she started to realize she was a lot more beat up than she taught. Bertolt tried to attack Reiner but he just restrained him as the police arrived and started taking statements. They took Annie and Mikasa to the station. Annie would be held with bail set at 100,000.00 for assault, attempted sexual assault, and a few other charges resulting from her use of the bottle on Mikasa’s temple.

When they released her Reiner was there, “I’ll drive you to Eren’s.” She shook her head, “It’s not even a mile away. Just follow me and make sure I don’t go off the road or something but I think I’m really fine.” He walked her to the car and before he turned to leave she felt like she should say something, “I’m sorry, Reiner.” Reiner stopped in his tracks, “Don’t be. We were the innocent victims. We’ll be okay but they, they,….” He started to tear up, “They have to live with their poisoned hearts.” She nodded in agreement, “There’s more, isn’t there?” Reiner nodded, “Let’s get coffee when you’re okay, Miki.” She agreed and he followed her to Eren’s house. She didn’t care how broken she appeared, how vulnerable she was, she wanted Eren and she wanted him now.

She parked and ran up to the door opening it with her key. Trudging through the foyer and into the kitchen she found Marco and Jean but no Eren. She left to the living room and there was no Eren. She went upstairs and found Armin in one of the bathrooms wrapping Erwin’s shoulder where a small portion of his arm remained. She left and she started crying and running. She burst into their room and found no one and all that was left upstairs was Levi’s office. She opened the doors to Levi at his desk. She stopped while he dropped his book on the floor at her appearance, cut, bloodied, crying, bruised, her clothes in disarray, “Where,” she sobbed out with much effort, “is _Eren?_ ” Levi stood up, “There.” He pointed to the other half of his study where Eren and David were sorting through papers about the Wall. Eren was up in no time walking to her, “What happened?” His arms stretched out and she willingly went into them, “Can I stay with you? I need you.” Eren held her as she sobbed, “Of course.”

*******************

Mikasa told them what happened as she sat on the futon in the study. Eren was livid and wanted blood. In truth, Armin and Jean we’re just as mad but happy that Annie was now out of picture. They’d watched as she slowly started to become more and more controlling of Mikasa, keeping here away from things like their going away party. Eren and Jean even mentioned that she wasn’t able to take work and further her career because of Annie’s insistent presence and if she did go anywhere she texted and called her the entire time.

David excused himself for most of it though it pained him to do so. Levi noticed that when he returned to the room that Mikasa and David exchanged glances and he could tell that at least from David’s perspective that there was something between them. Erwin contacted the jail to go over some of Mikasa’s paperwork and to check the terms of Annie’s detainment. He was, regardless of whether Mikasa agree, pushing for a harsher sentence. He’d found some information on Annie that didn’t sit well with him recently and he wanted her away from them all and in a contained place under surveillance. Armin knew his misgivings and had agreed to talk about it with Mikasa at a later time. 

Armin stood to the side with Marco and Jean as David entered. Armin and Jean were curious what would happen between these two. Jean took the lead from Armin, “Mikasa, this is David if you haven’t already met.” Mikasa lowered her gaze before flitting it back to David, “Yes, I know David.” Eren looked between David and Mikasa before mulling it over, Mikasa’s reaction to him being very plain to Eren. “I’m going to go get your things with Jean and Armin. Erwin has the law end covered and Levi can’t be trusted not to kill someone so I guess you should stay here with him and David.” 

Eren kissed Mikasa, “But, let’s get you into some clean clothes. I have a few things of yours.” Once changed, they went their separate ways. Mikasa went downstairs to the living room where she felt the most comfortable in the house. “Mikasa,” Levi’s voice was even and calm, “I’ve made tea. Are you feeling okay?” Mikasa was glad that Levi was here, “I’m much better but I just feel stupid.” Levi came and sat the tea down, “Why?” Mikasa looked at the delicate petal like tea cup with gold trim. “Levi, I’ve known….I knew that something was seriously broken between us for the last six months but I just…” Levi nodded, “Ignored it because you thought that it was normal and that, perhaps, it was what you deserved?” Mikasa cringed, “Exactly.” Levi sipped his tea, “The question is, do you think that’s true and is that really how you see yourself? Are you able to look at it and say “that was abusive and I’m worth more than that and I’m not weak because this can happen to anyone. I’m not broken” and then move on and put it behind you?” Mikasa stared at the coffee table for a while soul searching as David walked in./p>

He’d been shamelessly eavesdropping on the conversation and he took a seat next to Levi, “I am. I just need a rest, honestly.” She met Levi’s gaze, “What did it for you?” She bit her lip, “She liked to call me demeaning things during sex. Bitch, whore, slut, etc… I know that’s so strange to focus on and it’s not like this for others, I know, but when she did there was just always this little voice that said “I’m not.” Tonight, she called me all sorts of things but when she said “Stop being a bitch and submit” something in me snapped and I was done. I didn’t need to put up with that shit and I didn’t deserve it. I did right by her. She never tried to really better herself and I was the main supporter in the relationship which isn’t a problem but she just expected me to do it. She always begrudged me and would say things….horrible things like….”

Levi shifted, “About your family?” His voice was low and he said the words gingerly because he knew what it was like to be Annie and to hate and to be envious of someone with wealth and respect and talent and worth and a family. “She’d say that I only have money because of the Jaegers and how lucky I was that my parents are dead and a rich family took me in.” She gritted the words out and she felt both hollow and free. “Because of course, I’d choose money over my parents and sibling being alive any day, right?” There it was. What she’d wanted to say for years when others made the same comparison. She was thankful and grateful for the Jaegers but if anyone thought that meant she’d not wish that her own were still alive were fooling themselves. Her mother and father had loved her with their whole heart and they had treated her like princess and a warrior. Her mother was fierce and her father a well tempered man of humor. She often missed them.

Levi and David both knew the feeling. David removed his suit jacket and Levi decided to push more, “When did you and David meet?” David’s eyebrows rose and Mikasa blushed, “In Atlanta before Valentines. He was at the fashion expo picking up a blazer for Armin.” David felt Levi smirk rather than saw it. “Oh, I see.” Mikasa turned to face them on the couch sitting cross legged, “David, I’m glad to see you’re well.” He felt like his heart wouldn’t survive the sincere tone of her voice, “Thank you, Miss Ackermann. I wish you were in better spirits.” He paused before mumbling, “I did not know you were in a relationship.” She held her head down in shame; the back of her neck was hot, “Because I did not mention it. My now ex was the one who left me stranded in Atlanta. I started taking more work in the city after that to get away and think. I was trying to…I don’t know.” 

David pressed his hands together, “It was very deceitful not to mention after the first time we had dinner. You didn’t own an explanation the night of the expo but after that…” He mumbled and Levi’s ears burned, “There were more times?” Mikasa looked very ashamed, “Yes, I apologize. That was my fault I just…” Levi was very interested in this, “Just what?” He tried to keep his voice even. Mikasa looked back to David before saying softly and with much sentiment, “I just couldn’t stay away from you.” Levi was dying to gossip this to Erwin later. “Oh, Miss Ackermann…I…did not wish for you to stay away.” Levi was now figuratively rolling on the floor from what Eren had told him were referred to as _the feels_. This was a match made in heaven. How could these two have been so perfectly put together, _oh_ , he knew who was behind this. David turned to Levi, “Achki, could you leave and let us talk a bit in private?” Levi smirked, “I’d love to.”

Levi bounded up the stairs finding Erwin just finishing his phone call. “Levi?” He sounded amused as Levi slinked in like a cat, “Commander Erwin would you like some juicy gossip?” Levi winked seductively as Erwin chuckled, “Oh, yes my beloved captain, I would,” Levi sat down on Erwin’s lap leaning on the side where his arm had once been. It was something they were all getting used to but in light of the circumstances Erwin was taking it very well and thus Levi’s guilt didn’t choke his as much, “Downstairs, David and Mikasa are having a _private_ conversation because they’ve met before.” Erwin’s eyebrows rose, “Oh, really? When?” 

Levi rubbed Erwin’s stubble, “In Atlanta before Valentines at a fashion expo. They’ve also been meeting since then and when David said he had no idea that she was in a relationship with anyone and then she said “I know, but I just couldn’t stay away from you.”” Erwin gasped, “Wow! And very unlike either of them. They’d normally stay out of messy or blurred situations.” Levi nodded kissing Erwin’s cheek, “I know and what’s more is guess why he was even at the expo?” Erwin took a moment, “Why?” Levi smirked, “He was picking up a blazer.” The light bulb went off in Erwin’s mind, “You don’t think that Armin purposely put him in a situation to meet Mikasa by using my valentine’s gift as the reason?” Levi deadpanned, “Yes, that’s so beyond his powers. He destroys terrorists and guns them down in cold blood but he can’t set two people up with a piece of fashion.” Erwin chuckled and then burst into full uncontrollable laughter, “Oh, Armin. At least he’s using his powers for good and not evil, right?” Levi chuckled, “There’s that, yes. But, I’m very excited from what I’ve seen of David’s interest in her. I think this might be it. Beschert. (destined)” Levi stroked Erwin’s face and relaxed against him. They were still trying to get back to normal. Erwin used his arm to pull Levi closer before covering his lips with his own. 

Levi breathed deeply as he moved against Erwin in a soothing exchange of lips and tongue. He let Erwin take the lead as he rested against the arm of the couch. Erwin eventually pulled away, “I’m scared, Levi.” Levi stroked his face, “Of what?” He rested his forehead against Levi’s, “I’m scared to be intimate with Armin again after so long and now without my arm will he even want me?” Levi’s eyes opened, “He doesn’t care about things like that, Erwin. None of us do. I’m so sorry I couldn’t save it.” Erwin smiled softly, “I know. I know. I just feel even more ugly.” Levi took his face in his hands, “How on earth could you even doubt how handsome you are?” Erwin shrugged, “I’m physically and emotionally broken. Armin deserves someone who can throw him around and look like he belongs with him. I go out and people stare and it….I’m strong but it weighs on me. It hurts. I’m different and I sometimes get frustrated because there are times when you need a second hand or arm and you don’t even know it. You go through life with both and you take it for granted. Like, typing. You should see how hard it is to type quickly. Try typing with just one hand. Maybe a month or two you can do it but try a life time. When I have kids, how am I going to be “hands on” with them with one arm? I know people live like this but it’s overwhelming right now.” 

Levi listened well and laid his head on his chest, “Have you and Armin done anything since he got back?” Erwin shook his head, “No.” Levi inhaled, “Do you want to sleep with me? Like, when I came to Maria.” Levi had always had a way with words, Erwin thought amused. He had considered it. He’d remembered this anxiety from after his assault. That was the last time he’d doubted his sexual prowess and appetite. This experience had messed with him in deeper ways than he’d thought. “Is it strange that I sometimes think about that? About what that man did to me?” Levi shook his head, “No, because I think about it often. Sometimes, I see his face in my dreams. Sometimes I see him and you. I thank God I was the one to kill him.” 

Levi stroked his face, “Come on. Let’s give it a go. If you’re going to break down at least do it with the one who maimed you.” Erwin stood up, “I’m going to cry.” Levi snorted, “I probably will too. No telling how rusty you are. Oy, I’ll be doing all the work.” Erwin chuckled as the moved to Levi’s study where the futon was. Sometimes, especially now, they were thankful for their arrangement. Erwin sure was.

*****************

David and Mikasa spoke softly for a while, moving through pleasantries until David decided to become a bit brasher, “Miss Ackermann, I know you just broke up with your ex but I think there is something between us.” Mikasa blushed, “Just call me Mikasa, please.” David nodded, “Yes, Mikasa.” The name felt right as he said it aloud. It felt destined on his tongue, “Am I wrong, though? Are your feelings strictly platonic?” Mikasa shook her head, “No, they’re not. Though, it shocks me because I thought that I did not care for men. I was in a relationship with Jean and I tried desperately to make it work but there just wasn’t that “something” there.” He had worried about that after finding out she was in a relationship with a woman. 

He moved uncomfortably on the couch, “Are you interested in me in like that or?” Mikasa thought about the nights she was left breathless thinking of him, “I am. It was one of the reasons I kept coming to the city to spend more time with you. Also, because I knew you were a polite gentleman who wouldn’t push me or expect anything from me. I did feel very deceitful.” He was glad she’d done it, to be honest. “I’d like to spend more time with you and date you.” She smiled, “I’d like that. It looks like you’ll have more opportunities now that I’ll be here for a while.” 


	42. Envelope

A few days later they were all in getting ready for the upcoming month of March that would include Purim and Eren’s 20st birthday. Eren and Hanji had been working tirelessly on their germ cell research and the artificial womb. He’d redoubled his efforts on his side of the serum and they’d successfully made a batch they felt comfortable sending to Israel. Eren and Levi decided to get have their marriage ceremony in May after finals which Mikasa was happily designing the wedding party’s outfits including little Mila’s adorable flower girl dress. 

Armin woke one morning to the sound of rain on the windows. He sat up and then climbed to the windows opening the curtains just a bit to see the rain outside in the dark morning. He then climbed back in the bed noting that Erwin must have set the fire back last night. Armin craved Erwin that morning more than he’d ever craved him before. He’d wanted him to make the first move, he wanted him to take him, to touch him. He wanted the reassurance that Erwin was okay with him in general. He looked at his shirtless form and his toned stomach. He’d regained some weight and worked with Levi on regaining muscle mass by fighting with him and doing physical therapy with Mike, who still had issues from time to time with his hip which had been fractured in the accident. 

Armin worshiped him and for the first time he allowed himself a moment of weakness to indulged in the sight of Erwin.

Erwin heard the small sighs and groans and he knew they were Armin’s. Of course, he was asleep and thought he was just lost in a pleasant dream. It wasn’t until a slightly more desperate and real whine was heard that he started to open his eyes. Armin’s eyes were closed, his mouth open, and his face flushed. He watched his breaths came in heavy and shallow while he worked his fingers in and out of himself stroking in time, teasing himself without reaching completion. Erwin watched, enchanted by the fact that this nymph was his. 

Armin opened his eyes blushing when he saw how Erwin marveled at him, “Baby, come here and let me love you.” Armin moved closer as Erwin’s hand grabbed his hip kneading the supple flesh before moving around and pulling Armin’s fingers out and replacing them with his own. Armin whined pressing his nose into Erwin’s chest and rubbing his skin, enjoying the warmth and the strength of the muscles beneath. “Erwin, I love you.” He kissed his chest, nipping at his skin as his hands fell to Erwin’s hips and then to his straining erection.

Erwin hissed pulling out of Armin and then gripping the back of his head kissing him passionately and deeply. He writhed against him craving release. Armin’s hands pulled down Erwin’s briefs breaking the kiss and panting heavily as he sat up, “How do you want me?’ Erwin wanted him on his back squirming as he made love to him slowly, intensely, lovingly. He leaned up reaching for his face and pulling him down on his side and then his back. Erwin covered his lithe body with his own and they made love tenderly, beneath their flesh their love burned and when Erwin’s arm became too tired holding him up Armin moved them to their side whispering praise and words of devotion against his skin.

They lay in the sheets afterwards cuddling like they had in the dorms with the TV on. Commander hoped on the bed, tail swishing back and forth before meowing loudly, “Sweetheart, what is it?” Commander meowed loudly again before moving to head butt Armin, “Gosh, that wasn’t so nice.” He giggled and Erwin smiled, “We’re going to be alright.” Armin stroked Commander’s fur lovingly, “Of course we are. We’re beschert.’ Erwin’s face hurt from smiling, “We’re beschert. My God, did Levi say that?” Armin grinned, “No, Eren did. I believe him. It’s got to be true because I’m just so in love with you.” Commander whined, “And so is Commander.” Erwin rubbed under Commander’s chin smiling, “I’m glad to be so loved.”

**********************

”What if you went back up to New York and did some ground work with Armin?” David was flipping through the pages of the reports on the Wall in the US. It was believed that recent cyber attacks were a part of their operations to put pressure on civilians and cause strife between them and their government. New York had seen recent protests of college age students calling for my transparency and answers about national security protection measures. These people were not members of Anonymous, no instead of bringing truth out of the darkness they censored and destroyed information. That was unacceptable. Armin said they’d start leaving some “planted” information “uncensored” to put the pressure on and increase riot potential. Anarchy was the goal and they’d stop at nothing to create the perfect subterfuge.

”If I go, it’ll be after the wedding. I’d hoped to go on my honeymoon somewhere quiet where I could make love to my overworked husband, drink, and eat.” David smirked, “And you shall but first do this for us. You and Armin can go up before the wedding to take care of things.” David was stern whether it sounded like it or not. Levi knew this wasn’t really a request. He thought they needed to do this now. “Are you coming?’ David closed his briefcase, “Of course. Let’s go spar.” 

******************

David gave Levi a run for his money and they ended in a draw. After showers they retired to the living room with tea and donuts. David was, for once, not wearing a suit and when Armin walked in he nearly didn’t notice him, “David, my favorite person.” Armin’s mood had improved leaps and bounds and Levi knew why. David didn’t but he could guess, “We’re going to head up to New York after Eren’s birthday to take care of some business. I hope you can clear your schedule. Armin winked, “Of course. I just have to tell my daddy.” David’s eye brows furrowed, “Your father?’ Levi hid his smirk behind his tea as Armin’s eyes got that playful glint in them that for David meant that he was about to be the butt of a joke, “I didn’t know you were telling your parents about anything.”

Armin skipped over, “My daddy, Erwin.” He smirked and David’s face flushed, “Oh, I see. Well, you do you, I guess.” Armin watched as he squirmed, “What?” Armin sat down next to him, “Why does that bother you so much?” David bit the inside of his cheek, “I was raised to never speak about sex or sexual things outside of the bedroom with your partner.” Levi snorted, “We were taught that you only lay with your wife when she’s ovulating and to hate sex because it’s only a means for procreation and unsavory and beastly. It’s hard to break out of years of that mindset, Armin. Be kind.” 

Armin pondered his words, “But Levi, you’re so open now for instance, with this relationship.” Levi nodded, “I also wasn’t raised in this stringent version of the faith full time after ten. David was till he was almost 17. He has always been more conservative in that way than me.” Armin turned to David, “Obviously, I don’t want to offend you. I’m just teasing. If it’s bothersome, I will do my best to respect that and not push your buttons so much.” David smiled, “You’re fine, Armin. I probably need to loosen up a bit, honestly. It really is a lot of what Levi said. I also haven’t been serious with anyone, ever.” Armin’s eye widened, “You’re a virgin?” David looked offended, “No, even if I was there’s nothing wrong with that. I just meant that I have never actually found a girl I was serious about.” Armin elbowed him, “You hit and quit it?” Levi laughed, “More like he has to want to wife them before he beds them. He’s had a few one night stands. He’s broken a lot of hearts.” 

”Who’s hearts did he break?” Armin goaded him, “Bitches in the streets and lame in the sheets?” Levi was now fully laughing, “Every where we were a girl would fall madly in love with him and he’d keep them at arm’s length trying to “respect” them and that only made them want him more. It was insane.” Armin covered up with a blanket, “Is it different with Mikasa?” David’s heart fluttered at her name. She was working right now at her studio and he’d hoped to see her when he got there this morning. “Mikasa isn’t like other women.” Armin nodded, “She likes you a lot.” He patted his back smiling, “Hurt her and I’ll kill you. You all know that’s not just talk, that’s a promise.” Levi and David felt the cold chill of those words, “Shit,” Levi began, “that was harsh, Shefeleh.”

***************************

Mikasa came through the door and hurried upstairs. She’d redoubled her efforts for her client and was now producing four different looks for them. It would be either rewarded with a generous bonus or she’d be blackballed from future endeavors. Eren was in her room when she opened the door, “Uh….I was just….” Eren had a few red throw pillows and a picture frame he was placing in the room, “You caught me. Levi and Erwin already had this room pretty much set up for guests but since you’ll be here for a bit I wanted it to have touches of you in here. I know you’re looking at leasing your own loft downtown but that won’t be till August.” Eren set the picture frame up on the end table, “Horse face isn’t always right but he was when he said that your color was red. I thought some red would be good for you.”

Mikasa walked over hugging Eren, “Which picture is it?” It was a photo of them when she and Jean were still dating. They were sitting on a blanket for a picnic while Eren and Armin were to the side by the kayaks and Sasha and Connie were stuffing their faces on the other side. It had been one of the finest days at the lake they’d had that summer because the weather was just right, not too hot and not too humid. “I love this picture.” Eren smiled, “How are you?” For the first time she didn’t hesitate, “I’m well, honestly. I met with Reiner today and we had a very good talk. Bertolt is missing but that’s to be expected. Erwin sent me an email and if I choose to press charges she’ll be hit with the highest sentence.” 

Eren clenched his jaw, “What do you mean _if?_ ” Mikasa shrugged, “She could go to jail for almost two years, Eren. That’s a long time and it will ruin her life. I can’t make that choice out of a place of anger.” Eren tried to keep his voice down, “MIKASA! She assaulted you and has hurt you and hurt your career prospects for the last six months! If she was really a good person she would have not cheated, wouldn’t have physically abused you, emotionally abused you, or any of it!” Mikasa cringed as he became angrier, “I know, Eren. I know. I just need to take a moment before I do anything. It’s not like she’s getting out any time soon.” 

For that Eren was thankful. He looked around the room, “I’m sorry I lost my temper.” She smiled, “Wow, an apology.” He gave her a wounded look, “Shut up.” Mikasa patted Eren’s knee, “Will you assist me in a makeover?” Eren raised an eyebrow, “What?” Mikasa shrugged, “I don’t know. I feel like I need to change something or improve something.” Eren snorted, “Cut your hair.” Mikasa gave him a quizzical look, “Cut my hair?” Her hand carded through her waist length dark strands, “Really?” Eren nodded, “Yeah, you can pull off bald if you had to. But, you’re always complaining that your neck hurts and the weight of your hair is adding to it. Maybe shoulder length bob? I can do it if you want.” Mikasa looked at her hair, “Sure.”

*****************

Erwin tapped the envelope on the desk a few times. Hanji had personally delivered it and it had sat on his desk for almost a week with him just staring at it. He wanted to know but he didn’t want to know. He traced the edges before picking up his cell phone an dialing Armin. 

Armin’s cell phone went off while he was still speaking with David and Levi, “Daddy? You rang me while I was just downstairs?” Erwin cringed. He’d forgotten he was just down in the living room, “Ah baby, sorry, I forgot. Um…” Armin could sense his anxiety, “What do you need?” Erwin exhaled, “You, baby. I need you.” Armin smiled, “I’ll be right there.”

Armin entered the room and found him tracing the edged of a letter, “Oh.” He figured it was his DNA results. He’d had the hair for Abulafia tested and had another test done on his mother’s DNA he found left on an old hairbrush and one of his father’s hats. Thank God he’d stored everything well and kept it protected. His mother’s hairbrush was found among his father’s things. It was solid silver and an heirloom. “Baby, I don’t think I can open it.” Armin sat on his lap leaning over to kiss his temple, “Let me.” He whispered the words against Erwin’s skin pulling the envelope from his hand and carefully opening the lip of the paper. 

Armin pulled the results out and held them for Erwin to read. He tried to wait for Erwin to finish and respect his privacy, “Armin?” He questioned. “Yes?” “Are you reading this?” “No, I wanted-“ “Baby, read this.” Armin scanned the document before his mouth fell open slightly, “Oh.” Erwin nodded, _”Oh, indeed.”_

***************** 

Mikasa and Eren came downstairs finding Levi and David lounging on the sofas engaged in fierce debate, “But, what if they didn’t have a grave? If their bones were licked by animals?” Levi’s voice was impassioned as David sighed, “They will not rise, Levi. They will not feel the dew upon them at resurrection day.” Levi huffed, “This is the shit I can’t understand. This is why they’re stuck in the past and not allowing the faith to live. It’s a soul, it must breath and move.” David gave Levi an amused look, “I mean, what does it even matter? It doesn’t even matter, you know? As long as all have a personal relationship with the one true divine Creator it doesn’t matter. Well, murder matters.” Levi threw a throw pillow at David’s face, “What do you mean it doesn’t matter? It matters.” David shook his head, “Why does it?” Levi shrugged, “Because….what else are we going to fight about if not this?” David laughed loudly, “True. We’d be left with nothing but the Holocaust and Joan Rivers.” 

Eren jumped on Levi catching him off guard, “Captain, how are you?” He gave him a Cheshire cat smile and kiss. Levi chuckled, “What’s new pussy cat?” Eren laid his head on his chest, “Are you two fighting about theology?” David snorted, “Of course. Mikasa, your hair is…much shorter.” Levi looked and noted Mikasa’s shoulder length hair. “Looks good,” Levi said genuinely. She smiled softly clad in a white long sleeve cotton jump suit. David was lost in her, staring intently and smiling. 

“David.” Her voice was soft and affectionate, “how are you?” He blushed, “Better now that you’re here.” Levi barked a laugh, “Oh God. You’re going to be worse than Erwin. I won’t survive.” Eren slapped him playfully, “Shut up.” Mikasa looked at the time, “It’s almost time for dinner.” David stood, “Would you like to go with me to get dinner or I can cook here with Levi?” Levi huffed, “Go to dinner, love birds. Eren and I are going to run to Hanji’s and make sure they’re doing well and everything is coming along fine.” David motioned for Mikasa to lead the way and she gathered her keys by the door. They left in David’s car because he insisted on driving.

Eren kissed Levi’s chest, “I love you.” Levi stroked his back, “In a week or two I gotta go up to New York. The hackers for the Wall are there and I have friends left that will help us.” Eren pouted, “I want to go.” Levi sighed, “No. You will stay here and take care of Erwin.” Eren pouted more, “Leeeeevvviiiii,” he whined, “why you do this to me? Are you trying to break my heart? Do you want that should I die of a heart attack before we get married?” His Yiddish wife accent was pretty good and Levi couldn’t help but smirk, “Eren, stop. Just for once, do what I tell you.” Eren burrowed deeper in Levi’s shirt, “I guess it’s actually okay. It’s sort of a blessing.” 

Levi didn’t really like that, “What?” Eren kept his face down, “If you’re gone and it’s just me and Erwin then things are going to be really relaxed, you know? Like, I won’t have to change the sheets every day, or clean every day, or even bathe really.” Levi blanched, “Eren, you must bathe.” He shook his head, “No, what’s the point? I’ll just change the sheets the day I bathe and it’ll be fine….if I remember.” Levi clutched on to Eren, “Eren you know you lose dead skin every day and it will collect on our mattress and eventually sag it under the weight of our dead discarded flesh. Oh HaShem, why would you ever not change the sheets?” Eren shrugged, “No one worries about that stuff. Erwin, like, never changes his sheets. Armin says he likes to smell them on them.” Levi wanted to throw up, “Nooooooo.” Eren giggled, “I mean, think about it, you could smell me on my pillow like Armin does Erwin and then it’d be like I was there even when I wasn’t.” Levi didn’t enjoy this teasing at all.

****************

Mikasa suggested the Indian restaurant Bombay. It was small with booths of mahogany and silk cushions perfect for creating and intimate and cozy feel for groups of friends or couples. David enjoyed Indian cuisine and when Mikasa asked for suggestions he was more than happy to help. She sat next to him instead of across and he found her perfume to be intoxicating.

"How are the wedding suits and dresses coming along?" He watched her pause a moment, mulling over her response. "Well, except for Levi." He felt a smirk playing at his features, "How so?" She took a sip of her coke, "He's actually really difficult to design for. I mean, where do I want his story to start from and where do I want it to go? Eren is simple, I know his thoughts and opinions well but Levi can come off a certain way to outsiders and that might not be the side I want him to show that day. Should he match Eren or stand alone? Whatever will I do with Levi?" She trailed off the last sentence fondly. Levi and Mikasa were quite similar and he understood the dilemma.

Most people only saw the awkward, brooding, shit joke making, stand-offish Levi who scared the living daylights out of you. They never saw the soft, or witty, or carefree Levi and they sure as hell didn't see the broken anxiety ridden one. It was a bit jarring to see how people at his lab reactions or perceptions of him were when he visited. He rarely spoke to anyone unless necessary and it continued to amaze him he ever even met Eren until Hanji informed him that took careful planning on their part.

They blackmailed him into teaching that certain class and even had Eren's lab changed before classes began. He didn't think anything about it because it stated some classes were subject to change and as a freshman he had lower priority when seniors came in and needed a certain credit. He'd, oblivious to all common sense, never questioned the events that occurred that put him in that lab on that day and bam, Hanji had given Levi his soul mate. David had to laugh.

Mikasa rubbed her hands together, "Are you cold?" She nodded and he covered her with his jacket, "Hopefully, that will warm you up." She smiled, "You're difficult to design for, too." He bit his lip, "Really? How so?" She leaned closer, "Because you look great in everything. I do like relaxed David. He's got street style potential like what Eren wears." He smiled as their food came noting that the waitress paused to take another long look at them, "Are you two from around here?" David looked to Mikasa, "What do you mean?" She shrugged, "I feel like I've seen you two somewhere. I think my mind is playing tricks on me. Must have been some other couple who resembles y'all." She smiled before dismissing herself.

Mikasa shrugged, "Is it wrong that with all that's happened that scares me a little? Haha." David thought about it, "No, it raised a red flag for me, too. But, you can't live your life afraid that secret terrorists are lurking everywhere." Mikasa bumped him with her shoulder, "But, they kind of are in our lives." He snorted, "We're going up to New York in a week or two and we'll finish the cell here. They're hackers so it'll be a tough one for me." She worried her lip, "How so?" "I'm more of a physical person, fighting hand to hand against my opponent. This cyber warfare is new to me. I don't have as much control over the fight." She ate quietly and so did he till they were finished. After they paid he walked her to the side of the car opening it for her. Once inside, she laid her hand on his over the gear shift, "You'll be okay, though. Won't you?" David felt his spirit soar that she was concerned for his well being, "Of course, Levi and Armin will be with me. It should go over well." She gave his hand a squeeze as they drove back to the house.

They went to the media room downstairs to find something to watch. “Dinner and a movie, Mr. Lavie?” He shrugged, “Looks like it, doesn’t it?” Mikasa flipped through the Netflix lists, “Anime?” He perked up, “Only if you…like it…” he mumbled trying to contain his inner nerd.” She smiled, “I really do. Sorry, I’m a bit of a fanatic. How about _The Devil is a Part-Timer?_ He was floored, _this woman is too good to be true. I love her. I love her so much, my God. I need to play this cool and not mess it up. I am so excited._ “That sounds great. Mikasa.” She chose the title and then sat next to him grabbing a blanket, “Am I too close?” He thought she must be teasing, “You can always get closer.” She laughed and pressed closer, “You’re warm, like Eren. That’s good to know.” He put his arm around her shoulder but didn’t know what else to say.

They watched a few episodes making comments here and there until Mikasa yawned and stretched, curling herself in towards David, “I enjoy spending time with you. Please, if you’re going to go somewhere or missing for a while, please let me know if you can, if you’re allowed to.” He tightened his grip on her, “I promise.” 

David lifted her chin to see her face, “May I kiss you? It’s been killing me for weeks.” She laughed shaking her head yes and when David kissed her he knew that he’d never recover from this addiction he’d developed for Mikasa Ackermann.

Their time was cut short by the light flicking on and Jean and Marco talking animatedly as they came down the stairs. “What do we have here?’ Jean’s cocky tone made Mikasa cringe, “Lovers kissin’ in the dark.” Marco smiled slapping Jean’s arm playfully, “Stop, leave them alone.” They sat on the other end of the large couch covering up, “Are y’all finally officially a couple?” Mikasa smiled as David flushed, “Umm we are dating.” Marco snorted, “Jean, let them alone. Let’s watch whatever this is before we return to work.” Jean rolled his eyes, “Gooooooood don’t remind me. My hands hurt so bad, babe. You are a slave driver.” Marco merely smiled his usual smile, “Well, time is money, honey.” 

Marco’s book about Mila was quickly approaching a deadline and with Jean doing the art, things had been a little tense lately. Marco was supportive, uplifting, kind, and passionate. But, when Jean drug his feet he cracked the whip and took control of things. He was the backbone that kept Jean on the path and made sure he ate and took breaks. Marco didn’t work at the coffee shop anymore now that Levi and Erwin had him on their payroll, Yvonne had picked him up as a part time writer and then this book deal was looming with promises of a trilogy or more. Jean grabbed a hold of Marco kissing his cheek, “A sexy slave driver.” Marco giggled, “You’re so lame, Jean.” 

The two couples watched TV and spoke until Mikasa shifted to stand, cringing as she started to walk a little, “I think I’m going to head up now.” Jean gave her a knowing look, “Your legs?” Mikasa shook her head, “Feet. They’re killing me. I got new point shoes and I thought that was why I was so sore but I think I’ve aggravated old injuries. That or me kicking your ass the other day sparring took it out of me.” She tossed her pillow at him and he caught it, “It was I who did the ass kicking. I’ll be sure to go easy on you next time.” 

David stood up and walked Mikasa to her room. When she opened the door she stopped to give him a coy look, “You can come in if you like. Unless you’re tired?” He pushed the door open further ushering her inside. “You dance ballet?” She walked to her chest of drawers, “Yes.” Mikasa grabbed a t-shirt that was stolen from Jean after a day at six flags where they were rained on and she changed for the ride back. Jean shirtless in his underwear while his jeans dried and Mikasa in her underwear and his grey _TOOL_ t-shit road down the back roads because the interstate was clogged with holiday traffic and wrecks. She rolled her window down letting her long hair be picked up as Jean opened a pack of American Spirits blowing smoke through a crack in his window. He laughed that she’d roll her window all the way down letting the rain inside and defeating the purpose of getting dry. She was cool indigo blue and ravishing Russian red on the canvas of his mind. 

David watched as she entered the bathroom leaving the door slightly ajar, “My mother danced and when the Jaegers took me in momma Jaeger kept me in classes and she even took an interest in it and we entered mother daughter contests.” David wanted to see her dance, “Did you do well?” She pulled her shorts on smirking, “I do everything well.” He grinned at her confidence and knew it was more than true. Jean had spent a lot of time with him when he first started staying with them every other week to help. 

She emerged and David couldn’t help but peer in, “They said they wanted to re-do this bathroom?” Mikasa turned around, “Yeah, Erwin say’s its too bare but I think it’s just simple. Levi doesn’t like the way the shower looks so in August they’ll start re-doing it.” David admired her bare legs, “I’d like to offer my services.” She quirked an eyebrow, “In what way?” “Let me massage your feet.” “Do you have a foot fetish?” David blushed, “No, I just….that was very like something Armin would have said.” She laughed jumping on the bed, “It would be a dream, actually. No one ever offers. Well, Eren used to but I try not to complain about it too much anymore. Jean just senses it.” David moved massage her feet.

She closed her eyes and let the pleasure of his fingers take over. They spoke about a myriad of things. She found out he really loved Soccer and was a Bayern-Munich fan. His favorite dessert was Baklava and he hated onions. His favorite book was _Emil and the Detectives_ and he enjoyed _Diary of a Mad Man._ His mother loved Geishas and secretly indulged in their traditions. She tried to hide it from his father but little did she know he quite enjoyed her whims and interests. He was a lawyer but he’d always wanted to be a police officer. Mikasa listened intently allowing him to move his hands slowly but surely up her legs massaging them. He was trying to pull a response from her and she knew it.

“Your hands sure are high up my legs.” He grinned, “I thought you knew this was an all over thing?” She tried to keep from smiling so wide, “Oh, I had no idea.” He stopped, moving to hover over her, “Does this feel better?” He leaned down kissing her softly and sensually. She responded, heart pounding, and pulse racing. Her hands roamed his chest as they gently moved their lips against each other and his weight kept her from floating away. For the first time in a long time she felt _right_. David made her feel things she’d never felt before and he didn’t pressure her or pry. He gave her privacy and space when she wanted it and now that they’d danced around each other for these past weeks she wanted to explore their physical chemistry. She feared it would be like it was with Jean.

She pushed those thoughts out of her mind as she deepened the kiss and he responded with fervor. He rolled to his side pulling her closer, one arm around her waist and the other gently playing with her hair. He held her like a treasure, something precious and fragile. She smiled despite herself and he pulled back, lop sided grin on his own, “What?” He sounded amused and she became shy and hid her face in his shoulder, “You just treat me so nicely.” He laughed softly, “Would you rather I treat you not nicely? Do you like bad boys? I can be bad… Hey Miss, clean my house and make me a sandwich before I hit the road on my motorcycle and leather chaps.” She just burst into laughter at his lame attempt, “Oh, please. Stay the way you are and don’t change.” He kissed her chastely and sweetly again, “Good, I’m old and set in my ways.” 

She moved closer, “Do you want to stay the night, in here?” He held his breath, “As opposed to down the hall? Of course.” She rolled away tossing some of the pillows off the bed, “But I just want to sleep….is that okay?” He chuckled, “Yeah, why?” She didn’t want to go into how saying no hadn’t always worked in the past. “I just want to be clear.” She mumbled and he thought about it more, “Oh, Mikasa. Hmm,” he removed himself from the bed helping her, “I would like to be clear that I will always respect you and your feelings. I hope you will do the same. I will never pressure you into something.” She was relieved, “Thank you.” He tossed a pillow at her catching her off guard, “Just so you know, if I tend to hog the covers,” he paused watching her expression, “but that won’t be a problem as long as you stay close to me.” He winked and she waved him off like “yeah yeah.” Mikasa was looking forward to continuing their relationship and couldn’t wait to see what early morning David was like.


	43. Lazy Day Antiques

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is rough sex, dom/sub dynamics, and seme Armin in this chapter. Section of this play is denoted with ********* if you want to skip it.
> 
> I am also making spotify playlists for my characters and my ears are ringing from all the different genres. Yes, sadistic bad ass seme Armin is tots a NIN fan. Bless his little soul.

“Armin, are you in here?” Erwin rubbed through his hair and scratched his stubble. He’d woken up finding Armin missing from the bed and Commander in his place. “Armin?” He entered the bathroom considering shaving his face or just saying “fuck it” and taking the day off from caring about being presentable. His ears perked up at the low sweet timbre of Armin’s voice, “Did you see Levi and Eren’s invitation to their wedding?” Armin was sitting at the vanity clad in a soft crème silk robe painting his toenails. His hair pulled back in a very small messy ponytail. He looked up at Erwin, his voice serious, “Like, oh my God…” He rolled his eyes as Erwin nodded that no he had not seen it. He handed Erwin the [envelope](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/62/80/61/628061987d66c74ea777092bebff4e95.jpg) he noticed on Armin’s bedside table a day or two ago. Opening it and inspecting it all he could say was, “Wow.” Armin watched as Erwin inspected the invitation further, “It’s very understated yet flashy. Levi must have taken care of that.” He chuckled warmly, “It’s like he told Eren he could have his flashy mandala but only if he let him place it and inside the envelope cover it went.” Armin grinned but then pouted. 

Erwin raised an eyebrow, “You jealous, baby?” Armin huffed, “Yeah. I mean, they’re already married officially.” He mumbled. Erwin knew he wasn’t really upset about something so trivial. Armin could have childish moments but he was far from petty. “You want to start planning our shindig?” Armin gave him a side glance, “I could.” He said with a slight pleased inflection at the end. Erwin grinned, “We could have two, like they are.” Armin tried to control his face as a full smile threatened to cover it, “Can we have three, daddy?” Erwin chuckled, “Four. All more lavish than the last. I don’t care.” He just shrugged holding his hands up as Armin laughed, “Oh God, the money.” Erwin leaned down kissing the top of his head, “Doesn’t matter. I’d do anything for you.”

Erwin washed and left his stubble. He didn’t care, Armin liked it. He checked to see how his arm was healing. The skin discolored pink, so odd against his golden complexion and the scar was something to marvel at. It was like Levi had begrudgingly lost the battle and in a last act of resistance he’d cut the flesh so that the scar was a perfect circular line with no beginning and no end save for the almost antler like one that curved over his shoulder down below his clavicle and onto his pectorial. Erwin still found tasks difficult but like Levi he tried to keep his frustrations to himself or in their room where he sometimes unfairly took it out on Armin. They had only had one fight since they came back, a real fight. A fight that threatened to tear them apart and destroy all they had built.

Careless words: _If it weren’t for you, I’d still have my arm._ Armin had stood so still in the middle of their room, eyes wide, petrified, muscles taunt and ready for physical retribution, and it was absolutely horrible. The moment the words left his lips, Erwin had attempted to will them back in and over the parted flesh, pallid from the draining of blood as a result of his own folly. Armin was broken, he was broken, and there was no sense in hurting each other. That’s not what either of them wanted. So they’d decided to start keeping it simple. They would act like that was a chapter in a book that was finished for good. The past was the past and there was nothing to gain from revisiting it. 

Armin pulled on a pair of dark skinny jeans, black leather with brown at the top knee high boots, black form fitting v-neck, red and black plaid scarf, and a black wool jacket as Erwin entered the room, “Where are you going?” Armin smiled rolling his eyes, “Like I’m going somewhere without you. Get dressed. I wanted to take you to the antique stores. You’ve wanted to get some things for the house and maybe start changing the room a bit here and there. Also, Mila’s birthday, Eren’s birthday, Jean’s birthday, they’re all coming up.” Erwin felt his heart fill with warmth, “If my baby wants to go antique-ing, that’s good enough for me.” 

Erwin pulled on his brown tweed trousers, brown loafers, cream colored sweater and leather bomber jacket. Armin said he looked like he came out of a magazine from the 40s and that was sexy. Erwin preened at his approval. Erwin had thought they’d take his car as they were like to do but Armin insisted that he drive and they piled in his Volkswagen. “Powder blue like the Wirtschaftswunder, Adenauer would be proud.” He took them a little past the lake house to a store called the _Pickle Patch._ “What a name, what a name.” Armin giggled, “It’s supposed to be a gem, sir. A real fun time Charlie.” 

They got out of the car walking past the rows of lawn displays that ranged from flamingos to crates with faded Coca Cola logos on them. “I like those crates, daddy.” Armin opened the door for them, looking up to wink at Erwin, “I know you do, baby. We have a ton around the house and out on the porches. You’re Cola crate cut off.” He snickered as Armin lightly punched him in the side. “Violent.” Armin moved out of the short hallway into a slightly larger room full of jewelry and small items. “Hello, let me know if y’all need anything. Oh, sirs, the game is on in the media room over there if you’d like to let your wives shop without y’all.” Erwin flashed a dashing smile, “No, ma’am _we’re_ here to have a look around.” Armin skipped along looking at the items in the first few rooms as Erwin trailed behind him enjoying their old routine. He allowed his mind to wander to times in the near and far future where, perhaps, Armin would be toting a small child on his hip or when they’d perhaps open their own antique shop or book store. 

They continued to peruse the store but it really wasn’t what they were thinking. “It’s just where NASCAR memorabilia and old fake jewelry go to die.” Armin said sorrowfully. He pouted fully as he inspected the furniture that was from the 80s and made of faux wood. “It just isn’t worth it if it’s not real wood.” Armin felt Erwin wrap his arm around his waist and rest his chin on his shoulder. His voice was soothing in his ear, “I couldn’t agree more. It’s because suddenly all these _basic bitches_ have watched one too many restoration shows on HGTV and now they’re buying up all the prime pieces for their Pinterest projects. You know what the worst part about it is?” Armin turned slightly, his face lit up in curiosity, “What?” Erwin pulled him closer leaning more towards him, “They don’t even restore the furniture. They cover oak, cedar, and mahogany, what have you with not chalk paint but _spray paint_.” Armin gasped loudly as Erwin chuckled kissing his cheek and then releasing him. He gave Armin’s bottom a firm pop because walking ahead of him, “Let’s check out another one of your _gems_ and leave this place.” Armin grasped his hand moving alongside him, “Let’s.”

As they pulled off the highway down a hill into a yard to the next house they almost turned back. It was a house with two other large buildings. One was clearly an old shop now used for restoring furniture and the other for storage or even maybe another building you could look in. But, the house, that was another animal completely. It was a single story, wood sided, white and blue house built in the early 1950s for simple farming families. A thousand more littered the landscape around them in this run down town that only grew from the primitive state it had remained in because of the traffic that the university provided every football Saturday. Armin turned the car off before exhaling sharply, “You know it’s one of those places we’re going to have to dig around in but I bet that means there is some stuff in there to find. Because…other…..people…” Erwin leaned forward looking at it closer, “Other people see it and run the hell away. This is crammed with all kinds of stuff, baby.” Armin unbuckled his and Erwin’s seatbelt, “Well, you know….make a memory…hahahaha” Armin opened his car door pulling his scarf around his nose against the biting frigid wind of the rainy early March day. Erwin followed trying to tuck his armless sleeve into his jacket pocket.

Once they got to the sidewalk Armin reached over doing it for him as they stared at the crowded porch and sides of the sidewalk. Erwin suppressed the slight flair up of anger that he couldn’t even put his own sleeve in his pocket but he replaced it with love and adoration for his future spouse for knowing and doing it kindly for him. They saw the broken lawn decorations, Christmas from the 70s ornaments, flamingos with missing legs, crates, boxes, all water logged and covered in dirt and years of neglect. The porch had antiques, real antiques and teak wood furniture that had just been designated to die out there in elements. They edged inside, barely able to move their bodies. Pottery, pieces from Greece, real delicate figurines from Austria and Germany, and just towers and towers of tomes and other oddities.

Erwin turned to find Armin staring at the once white and now brown shag carpet and the peeling yellowing wall paper with scenes of tree branches and blue jays in the same powder blue as the outside had once been. “This,” Erwin started slowly, “is horrible but there are great pieces here.” They started taking stock of the good pieces but every time they tried to commit to one, they became disgusted by the condition surrounding the piece. 

Erwin wasn’t watching Armin as closely as he should. After leaning down to inspect a table he found himself alone as he stood back up, “Baby?” He was in a strange child’s room with a rod iron bed covered in _I Love Lucy_ memorabilia and soft pink drapes covered in piles of lint. “Baby!” Erwin started to panic. _How big is this place? Why can’t he hear me? Where is he?”_ Erwin took off through a side door and unfortunately into a small powder blue bathroom of 50s tile where once he reached the back he turned finding a large humanoid on the toilet with its head missing. He yelled, before realizing it was a mannequin wearing a football jersey and tutu. He quickly tried to exit but got caught on the shower curtain.

_Pop, pop, pop, pop,_ the rings went as the curtain engulfed Erwin before a pile of boxes and plates fell on top of him blocking the opening of the door and shattering everywhere in plaster shards of lost dreams and Elvis homages. Erwin was now in full blown panic. He felt like he’d inhaled a lot of dust and other pathogens. “Armin! Armin!” He started frantically pawing at items to move them until he was forced to step on the pile and crawl out to the other side. Once in the hall he started his search against finding Armin trying to escape from the clutches of an old fake Christmas tree with ornaments from the 1920s. “Erwin, my God, everything in here is a trap.” He laughed nervously thinking back on the bathroom. “Yeah, baby. Find anything?” Armin’s eyes were wide, “Erwin, what is that?” 

Inside the room they were currently in there was nothing but layers of trash and newspapers and other nick knacks. Erwin looked at the pile, “Nothing baby.” Armin gasped, “Oh my god.” The pile then began to move. “Erwin let’s go. I can’t anymore. I can’t. I can’t with this.” Armin pleaded desperately as Erwin grabbed him pulling him unceremoniously through the halls as things fell on them piling around their feet tripping them all the way till they got to the car.

Once inside Armin started the car looking down to put it in gear. When he looked up this woman was running towards the car. Black ragged looking hair, too much rouge on her cheeks, and her full figure clad in a yellow night gown. Armin and Erwin screamed as he put it in reverse spinning the car in the wet grass before putting it in drive and bounding up the hill and making it on the main road again. Armin and Erwin were left panting as they started back towards Maria. The moment stretched in silence until Erwin’s chuckle filled the car and made Armin’s heart flutter. “Why are you laughing?” Erwin started to really laugh, wiping his eyes from tears, “Because who else does fucked up shit like that happen to? What was that place called?” Armin smiled, “I can’t really remember, blue something or another. Let’s get lunch and I’ll look it up. Like, it got a lot of good reviews. I have no idea what they must have considered good quality.” Erwin laughed more as they drove a short 15 minutes to the same _Lake Time, Pie Time_ as they had their first weekend at the lake house. 

They were sat near the window and as they waited Armin scrolled through his phone looking up the store. The same man from that weekend walked over with a small basket of cheese sticks and sauce, “On the house while you wait. It’s going to be a bit longer since you came in on the day our kitchen decided to catch fire.” Erwin smiled, “Maybe we should leave.” He was hit sharply with the rag the man had on his shoulders, “Smartass. Where’s Levi?” Erwin rubbed the spot above his armless sleeve where he was hit. He knew the man noticed but chose not to ask. He was thankful.

”He’s at home planning his wedding.” The man’s eyes widened, “Someone’s marrying him?” Armin grinned, “Already legally married. This is a ceremony for friends.” He appraised Armin for a moment, “You’re with Erwin?” Armin shook his head, “His fiancée.” He noted the ring before grinning slyly, “You sure you want to get involved with him?” Armin nodded, “Definitely.” He ruffled Erwin’s hair, “Lucky bastards. You tell Levi especially this time to go fuck himself.” Erwin nodded, “Like always.” Armin’s eyes glinted with mischief, “I want the story behind that. He told you to tell him that last time.” Erwin leaned back in his chair, “Levi and Mr. Spezzini got in a fight the first summer he was down here about Kosher food and politics. They’d been drinking peppermint schnapps because its dry here on Sundays in this county and that’s all they had. We were eating and suddenly they decided to settle their difference with a fist fight. Needless to say, one fist fight, countless bottles of schnapps, and lots of blood later Levi is victorious and Spezzini just stands up and says “Ah, go fuck yourself you Mossad motherfucker.” Erwin looked out across the water fondly, “Levi is a lot of fun, actually.” Armin nodded drinking his cherry coke, “He really is the coolest thing since D.A.F.”

Erwin burst into laughter, “D.A.F.?! What?!” Armin grinned lulling his head to the side playing with his straw, “I really want to play _Verschwende Deine Jugend_ like super loud through the house and have him do the dance because you know, you fucking know, that he probably has it memorized and would look so damn hot doing it.” Erwin laughed harder, “You’ve put thought into this.” Armin gave him a very serious look, “You know we all have fantasies about him. It’s mine. Don’t shame me, Erwin. Don’t shame.” Erwin slapped the table, “Sweaty Levi dancing with his hands up to his side moving to the beats of neue deutsche welle music is your fantasy Levi. Goodness, I wonder what mine is.” He reached over to playfully poke Armin’s nose who tried to bite his finger. “Oh, you’d get much too bothered if I told you here, sir.” He gave him a sultry gaze as their pizza arrived.

They ate a few pieces and then Armin returned to his phone, “Erwin….” His voice was cautious, “does this…look like where we were?” Erwin took the phone looking at the pictures before cautiously replying, “Um…no. We weren’t there.” Armin paled a little, “Erwin,” he leaned forward saying the words slowly, “We went in someone’s house. That place was renting that side building for storage and is now located in another town. OH. MY. GWAD.” Erwin’s mind couldn’t understand, “I can’t process this right now.” He said plainly as Armin took his phone back texting someone, probably Eren. “OH MY GOD ERWIN WE WERE TOTS IN SOMEONE’S HOUSE AND THEY WERE FREAKSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT WOMAN WAS PROBABLY INSANE AND WANTED TO TRAP US THERE! WHAT IF THOSE WERE BOOBY TRAPS?! OMG OMG OMG OMG!” Erwin couldn’t help but smile and watch as Armin called Eren and excitedly talked to him about what had happened. 

Once they got inside the car Armin drove them back to Maria to their favorite antique mall, “I swear to God if this place is fucked up too…” he mumbled under his breath following Erwin inside. The halls were clean and the booths numbered in a grid. They walked along until Armin spied just what his heart desired, “LOOK ERWIN!” Armin pointed to an art deco side table. Erwin smiled knowing that Armin had wanted a small table like this and he did like the style. They started approaching the booth when another woman appeared snatching the bottom tag off of it. Once the bottom tag was removed the piece was taken unless you wanted to have them call out the number of the piece and that would mean the person had only five minutes to claim the piece or the person who had the number called could buy it. Armin was sad but he shrugged and they continued looking around. 

Erwin bought cinnamon sugar covered pecans from one of the vendors inside who had permission to sell food and Armin and he shared a bag while pocketing a few for the house. Over the next hour the same woman kept appearing and beating him to every piece he wanted. Armin was at his end. Erwin was just as annoyed. She could do whatever she wanted to him but leave his precious bae alone. If Armin wanted something he’d get it. “Erwin, where are you going?” Armin looked to see Erwin power walking into a booth. An elderly woman was in his way and he was trying to charm her, to no avail, out of his way. Armin spied what he was making his way over to and he was dying from excitement. 

It was a bit of an inside joke between Erwin and Armin about his vanity in the bathroom. Erwin liked to pretend that it was his throne. He also played often that he was his mistress and he’d often come home to him waiting at the vanity primping before taking years off of his life or better yet, letting Erwin become his chair and giving him a taste of sadism he craved. Currently, Erwin was attempting to secure the most decadent [ vanity ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/d7/e6/f7/d7e6f76f9f0837491e111828a096f4bc.jpg) Armin had seen. He knew exactly where it would go in their huge room and how he would repay Erwin for it.

Armin moved quickly trying to get to it if Erwin couldn’t. He was currently helping the old women take down things from the wall for her cart. _Such a saint,_ Armin thought to himself fondly until he saw that same bitch heading towards the vanity. He started to sprint reaching the vanity when she did. Armin looked up meeting her gaze and they engaged in an all out war of the eyes. “Listen,” she began, “You don’t want to go down this road with me, little boy.” Armin flushed red, “Ma’am, kindly go fuck yourself.” Erwin almost died from pride but he was also fearful that this woman was going to meet on of the _The Two Wolves_.

She pulled her lips over her yellowing teeth, lips stained with hell fire red lipstick. She gritted her teeth, “I will destroy you.” She started pulling the ticket, nearly ripping it. Which would be bad for both of them, because even though the tickets tear off leaving a top and bottom, if the ticket is torn in any other way the vendor will have to come in and re-ticket the item. The world of antiques is not for the uncouth or faint of heart. It is a delicate maneuvering, a war played by a certain set of rules. 

Armin pulled back and she relaxed slightly. Noting the tear, both decided to try and approach this from a different perspective. Despite his quick thinking, all Armin really wanted to do was just shoot the woman and take it. He thought back to that night where a coked out Erwin laughed after removing Reiner from Armin’s lips and said “well, killing people is frowned on in civilian life” and he couldn’t help but think of the irony that he was now relating to that statement when he thought he’d never be able to. Armin’s brow furrowed as she tried to pull tighter on the thick card stalk.

Lucky for Armin, Erwin had years of experience in tense situations with antiques. They heard the sound of a hand hitting the table in the booth in front of the vanity. When they turned to look at whoever or whatever made the sound Armin saw to his delight Erwin staring the woman down before he grabbed her buggy full of cards and her purse and other items and hauling ass away with it. She screeched, releasing the ticket and took off after Erwin as Armin ripped the ticket and ran to the front to buy it. He worried for a moment that it may cost and exuberant amount but it was the point now that that woman would not get this under any circumstance. 

At the counter Armin slammed the ticket down. By now the screeches were distant but obviously this woman was giving Erwin hell. “Will this be all?” The clerk asked politely, “YES!” “That’ll be $450.58. Where do you want it on the sidewalk? Back or front pickup?” Armin wasn’t in a truck nor was he in Levi’s car, “Um can I pick it up tomorrow?” Just then the woman appeared, “NO! I WANT THAT PIECE!” Armin cringed, “Can I?” The clerk gave him an apologetic look, “Um well, if you can’t take it today then I’ll have to offer it to her since she’s interested.” The woman smiled triumphantly, “I’LL TAKE IT.” Armin was done. If this went on any longer he’d be in jail. He reached in his pocket for his wallet and slammed down his credit card, “We don’t take MasterCard.” Armin’s anger was rising as he took out his debit card. It would drain him of more than half but it was now the point or jail for man slaughter, “I’ll pull my car around.” 

Erwin emerged beaten by a purse and covered in more dust and lint than ever in his life to find a huge vanity and mirror shoved in and tied down to Armin’s tiny car, “Why didn’t you ask to pick it-“ Armin held up his hand, “Just get inside. It’s not worth spilling blood.” Erwin climbed in but his seat had been moved up and now he was basically sitting on the dash. Erwin laughed, “This has been quite a day.” Armin rolled his eyes, nose scrunched up the way Erwin liked it, “Sorry it was so ridiculous.” Erwin reached over, “Baby,” he purred, “I need you to help hook me. I can’t ever hold it and get it to click. Woe is me.” Armin laughed pulling his seat belt around him and clicking it in place, “I don’t know because your right arm is the one you normally use this for. The left never did anything. Are you faking that you can’t use the seat belt because you want me to lean over you?” Armin leaned over the center console, arms on either side of Erwin before he leaned in kissing him hotly as the car heated up. His lips moved sensually against Erwin’s, who moaned as Armin pulled his lip with his sharp little teeth, “Is this what you wanted?” He purred as Erwin smirked, “Something like this.” Armin pulled back winking before putting the car in drive, “Sneaky daddy.”

Once they got home Erwin and Armin brought the heavy vanity in with the help of David and Levi. Eren and Mikasa were working on wedding things out in downtown. David had just got in and Levi and he were bonding over anime and take out from last night down in the media room. Erwin and Armin set the vanity up and decorated it a bit. “How did you pay for this?” Erwin asked as they stepped back admiring it. Armin gave him a curious look, “With my debit card.” Erwin nodded, “I see. Was is it an easy purchase to me or?” 

Armin knew that tone, cautiously vague and detached. He was trying to introduce a sensitive subject and for once Armin was actually feeling a bit squirmy. “Are you saying you want to know about my finances?’ Erwin kept his neutral business face on and thus Armin armed himself with his own poker face, “You want to know if I carry debt? What my account balances are?” Erwin met his gaze, “I would.” Armin was a little shocked, “Well, I keep my credit card paid off and it’s for emergencies. So, I carry no debt on it. However, I used to receive about $200 a month from my opa when I started school but after the whole dying thing and coming back I haven’t asked him about it and he hasn’t brought it up so I don’t get that anymore and I haven’t started back at the bookstore. Right now I have about…$650 in my checking and $1000 in savings. I’ll have to start back at the bookstore more than likely when I start back to school so I can cover books, car payment, insurance, and phone.” 

Erwin rocked on his heels, “If you want to work at the bookstore or anywhere else, then….that’s your choice. But, I would rather you not and spend more time with me.” Armin quirked an eyebrow, “Is that so?’ Erwin nodded, “Yes, until school is finished…at least. Maybe never….” Armin gave him an outraged look as he quickly averted his eyes and cleared his throat, “What I would like to purpose since you do have expenses is that you are put onto my main everyday account. I’ll add you to my insurance and-“ “You mean, you propose that you bank roll me and take care of all of my expenses and needs and I’ll have my own card on your account to which I can use for basic necessities for myself or us or the house?” “Or whatever your heart desires.” 

“Erwin, that’s….too generous. It’s almost like I’m taking advantage. I’m-“ “But, I’m asking you. You didn’t come up with this so you’re not-“ “I’m not a gold digger. I’m not with you for money. I feel like this will make it like I’m with you for money.” “When we get married it’s all yours anyway!” “Erwin you can’t be serious!” “I am! When we get married you’re my spouse. I’m not going to deny you access to my assets. Why would I? I’m all alone, Armin. I am an orphan. I have you, Eren, Levi, Mike, Hanji, Mila, Jean, Marco, Oulo and Eld and Petra. That’s all. I have only friends and lovers, no blood to claim. It’s already in mine and Levi’s will that you two are to inherit everything save for a few allocations we’ve always wanted to make. My fortune goes to you if I die and to our children. Truthfully, that’s the one fear I have is that you’ll not want children and change your mind but other than that I have no qualms or doubts about your reasons for being with me.” “I want a pre-nup. Get one drawn up.” “Armin! Don’t be like that.” “No, Erwin, I have to be. I have to protect myself just as much as I have to protect you. You’re obviously foolishly blind when it comes to me!” 

Erwin sighed, “Just let me love you, baby.” Armin rolled his eyes, “Fine, I’ll agree to the joint account but only if you have a pre-nup made. A fair one, in your best interest and our children’s. I want kids with you. So, write it in as a contingency.” Erwin smiled slightly, “You’re such an adorably difficult little nymph. I am beyond blessed.” 

******************************

Armin paused looking down at the vanity for a few brief moments. Armin then turned sharply, “Actually, you’re shit. Fucking shit. I don’t even know why I’m with you.” The sudden change caught Erwin off guard. “Baby?” He reached out to touch Armin only to have his hand swatted away. Armin’s body language changed, became more rough and raw. Erwin felt the heat pool in his lower stomach as he realized Armin was playing with him. The vanity must have done it for him. 

“Get on the floor.” Erwin didn’t hear him. He was lost in anticipation and maybe he wanted to see what happened if he ignored him. They’d not played like this since he returned. Armin gave him a disgusted look before grabbing his hair and kicking the back of his knees for him to slam painfully onto the floor on them. They’d be bruised for sure but that was of little consequence. “You’re filth.” Armin growled as he tightened his trip on Erwin’s hair pushing him back on his haunches. He moved the toe of his boot up the inside of Erwin’s left thigh applying varying amounts of pressure till he reached the already straining bulge of Erwin’s crotch. “Already hard? You filthy animal. Pervert is more like it. You get off on a young innocent boy hurting you. Don’t you?” Erwin’s eyes stung from the pain, “Y-yes.” Armin’s palm stung across Erwin’s face, “I didn’t tell you to speak. It doesn’t speak. It’s doesn’t get a name. It doesn’t have feelings.” 

He slapped Erwin again, “God, to think I let something so fucking weak like you ever fuck me. It sickens me.” His voice was low and ragged, tone disgusted. He pressed down on Erwin’s crotch, painfully eliciting groans and moans from Erwin. “God, it’s such a pathetic maggot.” He released Erwin’s head before moving down to lean over him forcing Erwin to bend backwards unnaturally while uncomfortably pressing his foot down even harder. He leaned closer before opening his mouth ghosting hot gasps over Erwin who’s mouth fell open wantingly trying to kiss him in vain. Armin trailed down hotly biting his jaw and then neck before forcing Erwin on his back on the floor. Armin stood over him, “It’s not allowed to touch. Put that arm behind.” Erwin moved his arm behind his back as Armin circled him, “It thinks it knows what it wants. Slave screams.” A strong kick to his side caused Erwin to yell out before Armin stepped over him leaving one foot on either side of Erwin’s hips before lowering himself.

Armin straddled his waist moving his hips in tantalizingly slow in heavy circles, rubbing Erwin just the right way to drive him even more insane. Erwin moaned wantonly as Armin smirked to himself before pinching his nipples harshly through his shirt. Erwin nearly screamed again from the stimulation and it was so engrossing that for a second Armin forgot his own rules about him being an it, “You’re such a little bitch, Erwin Smith.” 

Armin sat up and reached down to unbutton Erwin’s trousers and removed his hot flushed red and leaking cock, “It doesn’t come till I say so.” He started teasing Erwin just the way he liked, fingers tracing the veins on the underside of his cock and deftly cupping his balls. He fingered the slit watching how Erwin watched him, worshiped him. He allowed him to watch as he spit on the head letting it drip slowly over the top strands still attached to his pouty bottom lip. He worked the liquid over the hot flesh while Erwin’s eyes rolled back and he moaned. His motions would come to an abrupt end for no reason other than to cause Erwin pain or discomfort at being so incredibly turned on and release always being out of reach for him. He was relentless. The whole time he mocked him, degraded him, he was cruel and sadistic and Erwin loved it. 

Armin moved Erwin’s shirt up exposing his stomach where he left searing kisses and nearly black bruises and perfect pictures of his teeth. Erwin nearly came after the last bite. He squeezed his cock harder and harder till Erwin’s climax was staved off. Armin hummed clicking his tongue against his teeth, his voice deeper, older sounding, “I didn’t say it could come.” Erwin whined as Armin removed his hand and unbuttoned his own pants removing his erection and stroking it generously as Erwin writhed beneath him, “Suck.” Erwin tried to move to sit up but a quick slap from Armin made him realize what he wanted. 

Armin moved up towards his face, leaving him exposed to the cold air of the room. Erwin took Armin to the back of his throat willingly and he sucked him and sucked him well. Armin petted Erwin, smoothed his hair back possessively, and fucked his mouth reducing Erwin to a mess of tears, spit, and throaty moans. “It enjoys this, doesn’t it?” The bobbing didn’t cease for an answer, “It learns quickly.” Armin was close to the edge when he caught a glance of himself in the mirrored vanity. It was a bit shocking but more than anything he felt even more aroused at the sight of him, once that scrawny ten year old nerd who never stood up for anything and no one wanted, dominating Adonis himself. It turned him on so much he started to come.

Remembering a kink he’d discovered about Erwin he quickly pulled out spilling his seed over Erwin’s face. Some got in his eyes and stung them. Erwin closed his eyes, tears still streaming down. He generously wiped Erwin’s eyes with his sleeve and once they were opened again he gave him another firm slap so he remembered his position. A moment of kindness didn’t mean the play wasn’t over.

Erwin watched as Armin inspected his hand and to his delight as he sensually licked his seed off of his hand never once breaking eye contact. Erwin had disclosed to no one how much he enjoyed that. Levi would probably be utterly disgusted so he never approached it. But Armin was clever and easier to introduce things to. He watched him lick his hand clean as his other traced up and down his lithe body revealing milky white skin and his toned abdomen. He saw the bullet wound over his hip bone, so small, but so dangerous. He moved back slowly, dragging his hips back down to Erwin’s now even harder and more sensitive erection. He was fighting hard against the urge to come and when Armin leaned down licking and kissing his face clean of his own essence while rocking his hips and moving his stomach like an exotic belly dancer from the Far East. He was feline like in his movements, cocky smirk, and dangerous glint in his now darkened to sapphire eyes. Erwin felt himself shaking beneath him but, he didn’t come. His ultimate pleasure was pleasing his dominator and Armin was wrecking him wonderfully.

Armin’s hand came up to grip his throat, “Does it want to come?” Erwin nodded, slightly afraid from the powerful grip. He had been choked with his small fingers before but never actually gripped at his throat. It wasn’t bad, just new. Armin tightened his grip restricting some of Erwin’s airflow, “It can speak.” Erwin exhaled, “Y-y-y-essss.” Armin chuckled darkly, “But it’s so pretty when it begs.” Erwin couldn’t think straight, “Y-y-e-e-s-sssss p-pleaseeeee it wants, it wants to come. P-pleaseee.” Armin’s teeth rested precariously over the vulnerable junction of Erwin’s throat after he released his grip. They threatened to pierce through, so sharp, like fangs. He chuckled against his skin darkly. This was no man, no, Erwin was sure this was the wolf that tore out the throats of men. Armin removed his teeth licking up Erwin’s throat, “Sazōvōrum biyō.(Come my worthy)” His voice was dark like endless night, heavy and thick. It was such an erotic experience that with the pleasure came such overwhelming sensations that Erwin went black.

******************************

When he awoke it was clean, clad on in his briefs, in their bed with the curtains drawn, covered in warm blankets with the fire going, _Bob’s Burgers_ on the TV, and Armin behind him on his armless side pressed tight against him playing with his hair reassuringly. “You awake, daddy?” Erwin felt groggy, “Yeah. What happened?” Armin kissed the skin of his wounded shoulder softly, soothingly, “You passed out when you came. I’m sorry, did I not do the right thing?” Erwin started to remember how amazing he had felt, “It was spectacular.” Armin smiled, “You’re sure?” Erwin nodded, “Of course.” Armin kissed his neck before Erwin rolled over to face him, “You’re the best, daddy. The bestest ever. You always do the right thing, do such a good job, you’re the ultimate daddy.” Erwin covered Armin’s lips with his own as they tangled in the sheets for a while. “Armin, let’s have days like this all the time for the rest of our lives.” Armin giggled, “Deal.” 

Erwin moved his fingers through Armin’s hair, “When are you going to New York?” Armin hummed “Next week. But, I mean, that could change. They took out all of New York’s power last week. Who knows what they’ll do next.” Erwin continued to peer down at Armin who clutched a stuffed unicorn Mila had given him when he came back. This unicorn loving boy was going to take one a terrorist sleeper cell. _Only fucked up shit like that happens to us, baby._ “I love you, baby.” Armin giggled, “Gee Mister, that’s swell to hear. How about you prove it, if you’re feeling up to it?” Erwin smiled, “I’m fine. Promise. What do you want?” Armin opened his mouth but before he could speak Erwin could hear the sound of a very angry and hungry tummy rumbling beneath the sheets, “You’re hungry?” Armin gasped, “Starving.”

They got up walking downstairs to the kitchen. Erwin put on a pot of water for tea, “What do you want, baby?” Armin looked around, “Ummm do you want something delivered. Because, honestly, Levi hasn’t cooked in a while so there isn’t anything to heat back up and you know we can’t cook treif in here. So, what about Thai?” He searched for a menu in the drawers that was their little secret. If Levi knew that one of the drawers was a “junk” drawer he’d explode. Eren and Erwin kept it their little secret. “What are you two doing?” Levi and David appeared at the living room opening, “What is going on with that drawer?” Levi’s monotone voice boomed as Erwin cringed, _Damn it! I apologize Eren, our dreams are destroyed._ “Looking for takeout Thai.” Erwin said lamely as Levi stared.

David removed a menu from his suit pocket, “Here it is. We were going to order some but we had leftover takeout from the Mexican place.” David slid the menu to Armin and then offered him his coat, “David, seriously? This is my house. I can be shirtless.” David shrugged, “Don’t know….seemed like I should offer it.” Armin gave him a scrupulous look, “But, not daddy beef cakes over there?” He dead panned as David looked to see Erwin nearly nude too, “No,” he started, “because by the look Levi is giving him he’ll be dead soon.” David smiled ruefully and that alone pleased Armin, “It’s his fault. We can’t cook treif in this beautiful kitchen. We are resigned to secrets and takeout.” Levi t’ched, “Clean that fucking drawer, shit head. I thought you knew better.” He sounded simply disgusted in Erwin. Erwin’s face was aghast, “Well, I’ll have you know your darling husband _also_ uses this drawer and _these_ are mostly _his_ things.” Levi looked like he was going to have an aneurism. “Get food for everyone. I’m going to find Erenush and have a word. Leave the drawer as evidence.” 

David smiled sitting down at the table while Erwin flipped through the menu writing down dishes to order, “Will Mikasa and Eren be joining us? I know Eren maybe will but what about Mikasa?” Both Erwin and Armin leaned over giving David pointed looks, expectantly awaiting an answer, “Hmmmmmmmm?” David blushed, “I could text her?” Armin shook his head, “Or?” David put his phone on the table, “Or?” He whispered while Armin rolled his eyes, “CALL HER!” David dialed Mikasa and asked if she wanted to eat take out with them. She was on her way back from the store and was starving. She thanked him and gave him her order. “Alright, I have that written down, Mikasa.” He said her name with care, “I’ll see you in a few minutes.” She hummed, “See you in a few, David. Shalom.” The line went dead and he tried to repress his smile, “She’s coming and this is her order.” He smoothed the paper out and gave it to Erwin, “You two are adorable.” David blushed, “Thank you.”

Everyone got their food and went down to the media room to watch Netflix and eat. Levi remained stone cold as Eren tried to win back his favor after drawer-a-geddon. Jean kept putting sauce on Marco’s nose to try and lick off as he squirmed away and giggled. They’d been trapped in their room finishing the book for days that everyone was happy to just see them alive, washed, and not trying to kill each other, or rather, that Marco had not killed Jean after all the whining that they all heard when they eavesdropped.

David and Mikasa looked like the proper and prim couple, sitting together under their pristine white cashmere blanket that no one else chose because they didn’t have a death wish and Levi had eyed them all just daring them to take it. Mikasa was so small against David, tucked in to his side with his arm around her protectively. Armin felt so happy to be spending time with everyone like this and after the wonderful day he’d had with Erwin. This was the way to end it, together under blankets watching _Orange is the New Black_ , eating Thai, and snuggled up to love of his life. “Daddy, I love you.” Erwin grinned smugly, “I know you do, baby.” He leaned down kissing him, “I adore you, love you, I need you, I worship you, and I venerate you.” Armin was so happy and so was Erwin.

In the back of the couples, Eren groaned, “Do I really have to clean the bathroom and kitchen tonight by myself?” Levi’s eyes stayed trained on the TV, “Yes, and no Turkish delights for a week. I’ll break you of those dirty lying trash keeping habits one day.” Eren whined tossing himself on the floor onto more pillows and blankets where Donner simply starred at his Levi’s lover’s daily fits, “Not my delightssssss! Captian! Punish meeeeee with something else” Levi didn’t so much as twitch though he wanted to, “No, you’d enjoy that and then you’d never learn. Make it two weeks now for attempted bribery of a superior.” Levi did chuckle at that one as David turned around and winked at him. Eren pouted on the floor, “I still want to try gun play, captain. Can we do a trade?” Levi flushed, “Maybe. Just hush.” Eren didn’t get the reaction he wanted but he was happy with how things were in the house now and the face that he was with his most beloved friends. Days were looking a lot brighter now.


	44. House Search

Inside Jean and Marco’s room all was now silent. Just two days ago the floor was littered with paints and pages, the heat from their tablets and laptops had suffocated them, and the empty take out containers had begun to mold making Marco and Jean cringe in horror at what their beloved little land lord would say if he ever found out. They would never tell him.

Marco lay on his stomach tangled in the white down comforter he’d taken out of the closet after Eren helped him take his regular sheets and comforter down for a wash. They were of course caught due to Eren’s loudness and Marco had narrowly escaped with his life as Levi pulled the industrial stain remover out mumbling that Jean was filthy and Marco let him take the brunt of the blame. It was Marco’s soy sauce stain but why have a boyfriend if you couldn’t blame him for things? Levi t’ched and they left, Eren leading the way.

Marco was now in that area between awake and asleep after being starved of sleep for weeks. He rubbed his nose in the pillow he clutched while resting on his other one. Jean liked to remove the one he normally clutched and insert himself in the early hazy morning but he was currently missing leaving Marco alone and considerably cooler. Marco could smell Jean faintly on the fresh pillow case and he inhaled deeper relishing the unique smell of oil paints, Parisian perfume pour l’homme, and then that grungy rocker tinge of sweat and grit hat secretly drove Marco crazy. 

Jean entered the room quietly taking in the site of Marco’s skin. He’d tried to figure out some way to describe it. Layers of colors, spots of paint more like it. A base of pinky crème with a thin wash of pale spring pastel yellow, then a thin dusting of dark brown spots followed by another layer of cherry mahogany, dark cherry, maroon, red, apple, dirty orange, burnt orange, red orange, orange copper, copper, and then dark and light gold covered with an iridescent sheen. His skin was so silky soft that Jean couldn’t help but climb on the bed and knead it with his hands. He leaned over noting the different colors of Marco’s hair he would latter attempt to mimic. He plunged into the crook of his shoulder and neck to kiss him sweetly and passionately. Marco hummed, “Mon prince charmant.” Jean smirked, “Mon petite ami, je t’aime.” 

Jean covered Marco with his body. He whispered against his neck playfully, “So, I have something for you.” Marco huffed, “Hopefully, food.” Jean smirked, “Naw babe, it’s better than food.” Marco rolled his eyes, “Nothing is better than food.” Jean leaned up before reaching for what he had brought with him, “Look, babe.” Marco turned around before squealing, “OH MY GOD, JEAN! IS THAT OUR BOOK?” Jean gave him a cocky lopsided grin, “Your book, babe. Yes, it is. I had the first ten printed for us and our friends; might be worth a lot of money one day.” Marco sprung towards Jean opening the book, “Which order is it? Was this the first?” Jean smiled, “I marked them in pencil. This is number one. I thought we could either give it to Mila or keep it for our kids and give her the second one. It’s up to you.” Marco kissed Jean multiple times, “Mmm when you talk like that it makes me so hot.” Jean chuckled against Marco’s lips.

“Seriously? When I talk about saving stuff for our kids or planning in general? I’ll be sure to do that more often.” Marco wrapped his arms around Jean’s neck, “I fucking love you Jean Kirschstein. I fucking love you.” He purred, voice gruff and aroused, “If I wasn’t so tired I’d just tear me off a chunk of that hot ass.” Jean was now hysterically laughing at Marco, “Babe, babe, you’re so cute. If you’re so tired then let me let you go back to sleep.” Marco held on, “No, let me suck you off for this glorious gift you’ve given me. I totally forgot about doing any of this and you, you came through for me.” Jean kissed Marco chastely, “Maybe you also wanna make up for the fact that Levi thinks that the comforter was ruined by _my_ soy sauce? Hmmmm?” Marco’s cheeks burned, “Maybe that too.”

Jean laid Marco back down before laying down next to him, “I’m not going to turn head down but I do think that might be something we should do later today after I’ve showered and you’ve rested more.” Marco rubbed his stomach, “Sounds like you’re turning head down.” Jean pulled his shirt off, “You’re right, I’m stupid. Please show me the light. Show me the light and those glorious thick thighs you have.” Marco’s fingers skirted around the edged of his thighs as he smiled, “Thick thighs is a turn on for no one but you, Jean.” Jean laughed, “That can’t be true. I’m sure there is a tumblr page out there devoted to thick, strong, muscular thighs.” He rolled over to kiss Jean sensually, “I’m glad you like’em.” Before heading straight to business they lay there together roaming each other’s bodies enjoying being together after the last two weeks of no other contact than the brushing arms against each other while working and sometimes sleeping in the same bed for an hour or two at most. 

Marco’s classes and Jean’s were conflicting once again despite being mostly lax on attendance and some online they did require trips to office hours. Marco was often held up writing in another one of the guest bedrooms or with his creative writing group. Long hours in the studio for Jean meant short kisses and long sticky notes on lunches. Marco was magnificent and Jean always marveled at the time and care he took with Jean and their relationship. Jean had wanted to hold him like this, kiss him deeply, and inspect the masterpiece before him more closely. He painted him, drew him, and sculpted him. The edged of his dreams twisted into Technicolor portrait of his full lips, expressive eyes, and masculine body. He wanted to preserve Marco forever in all of his stages.

But right now he was feeling his nearly nude boyfriend rut against him as they panted and twisted in the sheets celebrating what would hopefully end up being a best seller. Marco’s steady hands moved down Jeans sides and then back up where they tweaked his nipple and pulled at the rings. “Marco, you know that drives me insane.” Marco chuckled, “I know. A lot does. You’re so easy, Jean.” He kissed down his chest sucking in a pert nipple and rolling his tongue over it. He pressed his knee against Jean’s hardening length, rubbing slowly with pressure that made Jean groan in appreciation.

Jean moaned throatily as Marco’s hand slid beneath his back to grab his ass, “I’m not that easy.” He panted out, “But, you sure are.” Jean had discovered Marco had a weakness for his neck being stimulated. Kissing, blowing air across it, pinching, and especially biting on it drove him wild. He could come just from the stimulation alone; something that had both impressed and delighted Jean in discovering. He took his prime position with Marco on his side and his hands free to start massaging the back of his neck, pulling at the skin and pinching it slightly till Marco moaned releasing his nipple, “I’m supposed to pleasuring you.” Jean smirked, “This isn’t a one sided relationship, never has and never will be.” Marco moved back up to kiss him while his hands pulled down Jean’s briefs to free him. “Right now,” Marco whispered lowly, “it’s all about you.” He ducked down kissing a trail to Jean’s exposed erection. 

Jean was panting hard as Marco mouthed his cock, licking teasing stripes up and down it. “Move on your back.” Marco’s voice was commanding. Jean had never liked being told what to do but from Marco’s lips to his ears every command was heard and willingly met. Eren had wanted them to be rougher and play more in bed but he wasn’t a dom. He’d be lying to say he was and it wasn’t like he was worried anymore about someone seeing him as the submissive one in the relationship. _That must mean that what they say is true, with age comes wisdom._ He nearly snickered at the thought of his level of comfort in sex meant he was becoming older and wiser. It was just that when Marco wanted to play, Jean jumped at the opportunity. They’d not done anything yet that they considered hardcore, nothing like what Armin was in to, but they’d been talking it over and exploring things. Truthfully, most of the time sex was fun and messy and carefree for them. It was light and it was loving. They made love just as much as they fucked and they were reaping the benefits of having a happy healthy relationship. Their work was a testament. 

Marco moved between his legs casting him a stern look made Jean’s stomach flutter. “You’re such a good boy.” Jean felt himself preen as Marco returned to teasing him. “But you taste so dirty.” Marco purred before taking in the head and suckling as Jean groaned his appreciation. “I am pretty dirty, babe.” Marco took more of Jean in humming around him and leaving him breathless. Marco bobbed his head slowly pleasuring Jean and eliciting as many moans as he could till he started whining desperately. After a few more minutes of Jean’s cried Marco pulled off before lovingly mouthing down Jean’s length and saying, “I love the way you whine.”

Jean laughed breathily before smiling at Marco who winked and started lavishing his head with his tongue, digging into the slit lapping at the precum. He engulfed Jean again, taking him all the way, humming as Jean bucked up into his mouth. Marco pulled off, his hands pushing Jean’s hips down on the bed, “Uh uh, none of that today or I’ll leave you desperate.” Jean flushed as Marco smiled ruefully. He’d kept control this long but he knew Marco’s next moves would destroy that. Marco bobbed on and off a few more times before taking him in and lightly grazing his teeth along him. Jean was shaking as he nibbled his tip sucking hard before biting a bit harder than before. Jean started to see stars as he took him to the back of his throat, nosing in the thick sandy blond curls at his base before humming again and causing Jean to lose himself and spill his seed. 

Marco cleaned Jean off and then himself before returning to his side on the bed. Jean tried to calm his breathing as his relished his post orgasmic bliss. Marco traced patterns on his skin praising him for all sorts of things. Jean knew something was making him anxious. He often told Jean how much he loved him but sometimes the worship told Jean that Marco wasn’t feeling so secure. He rolled on his side pulling him closer and kissing his forehead, “What’s wrong?” Marco squirmed, “Dad called.” Jean stroked his back, “That’ vague. Are you taking your lead from Armin and Eren and just not saying things directly anymore? You know I can’t with that.” Marco tried to smile but it faltered, “They want us to come up and help them house search. Something is off, though. I can just feel it and…well….I think it’s your mother.” 

Jean’s brow furrowed, “Mom?” Marco nodded, “Haven’t you talked to her?” Jean wracked his brain, “Ummmmnotinawhile.” He slurred under his breath before Marco hit him, “Well, I know that because I call her once a week after church and we take bets on when you’ll pick the phone up. Honestly, Eren and his parents group chat and he calls his mother all the time. His father and he send emails back and forth.” Jean didn’t know that, “Since when?” Marco rolled his eyes, “Umm recently, or since Carla decided they weren’t speaking enough just the two of them and needed to get closer or something. They tried to write emails like she wanted but now they just send memes. Turns out, Dr. Jaeger is the meme king and Eren uses the ones he sends on Levi on the down low to impress him.” Marco giggled, “Eren is ridiculous.” Jean laughed loudly, “I couldn’t agree more. That shit head would try to pass someone else’s humor off as his own. Damn.” 

Jean dragged his fingers through Marco’s hair, “What’s wrong with mom?” He whispered seriously and a tad sad, “Marco, tell me the truth.” Marco sighed heavily, “I think she’s sick, Jean.” Jean stilled and Marco closed his eyes, shutting them tightly, _God, Marco you’re so stupid! You could have said that better._ Jean sighed, “What times is it? The clock is behind me.” Marco opened his eyes, momentarily stunned, “Umm 7:38….why?” Marco was shoved away as Jean rolled over and off the bed. He pulled out their luggage and opened it before rushing into the bathroom turning on the shower. As the water heated up he took out his cell phone dialing a number. Marco was confused, “JEAN!” he yelled, “What are you doing?” Jean held up a finger, “Mama, are you at home? Is Mr. Bodt there too? Marco said y’all wanted us to help you house search. We’re heading up there to stay for a while since the next two weeks we don’t really have _class class._ ” She must have started talking because he turned to start putting neatly piled clothes into the suitcase. 

They were neatly folded because he’d not changed in almost a week and Levi had come in one morning while he slept and Marco worked on their project at a coffee shop with Erwin and cleaned their room and did their laundry. _Levi is a stand up guy._ “Yeah, momma I know that, but…. Mom… I just want to come home and see you. I just wanna be with my momma.” Jean’s voice broke as he whined. Marco watched as he took time to compose himself. He stopped packing the suitcase to run his hands through his hair. “We’re leaving soon so we’ll be up there….about 10. Wanna get lunch? Okay, je t’aime mama.” Jean stood up putting his cell phone on the chest of drawers, “Come on, babe.”

Marco stood pulling off his briefs following Jean into the shower, “Jean,” Marco began, “Please don’t tell your mother what I said. I don’t know for sure.” He watched as Jean lathered his hair in shampoo and then brushed his teeth. He did it to save time or at least that was the lame excuse he gave Marco when he tried to stop him, “Jean.” He reached out taking his hands, “I don’t know for sure.” Jean looked at him for a long while, “Babe,” he paused taking his hands out of Marco’s grip and cupping his face, “I know you don’t.” He stroked Marco’s cheeks with his thumbs, “Just do this with me.”

Jean had bought a new car after being hit by a drunk driver last November. He was thankfully only bruised up, a few hairline fractures in his ribs, and not critically injured. It had caused a lot of problems in the house, though. After Armin’s birthday, the first one without him, he’d gone missing and they all feared the worst. True, Jean had had his dark moment of weakness at the edge of a ravine but the inky shadows of the brush line beneath him didn’t speak poetic liberation to him so he’d backed off wandering around for a few more days till he was hit returning home, oddly enough.

Eren’s look of betrayal as the picked him up from the emergency room had laid him out. “How could you?” he hissed as they went to pick up Jean’s meds for pain and inflammation, “Just….Jean…Armin is gone…” Eren whined, “You can’t leave too. Who will….who will remember him with me? Who else knew him like me? Jean, please. I love you. Don’t leave me.” Jean had sobbed in the back of the car while Eren had a massive panic attack. Levi had pulled over on the side of the road, stunned and helplessly watched as Eren broke down in front of him and Jean couldn’t help him because once again, he was the only one to ever make Eren lose it like that. That had been their relationship since he appeared in those swim trunks asking him to play with him in the water. 

Without Armin who could he talk to? Armin was his confidant, his most trusted friend. He didn’t want to weigh Marco down with long explanations and back stories about the past. He had completely forgotten that he had Eren. Eren would understand. Marco had taken him in his arms, “Jean, I don’t love you because you’re strong. You’re not really.” Jean had huffed a sad laugh, “Wow Marco…thanks.” Marco pulled back holding his face steady, “I love you because you’re weak.” Jean laughed again pitifully, “Wow.” He rolled his eyes as Marco wiped away his tears, “You’re weak and you know how to relate to people because of that. I know you’ve been holding it all in, trying to be strong for everyone else, trying to be a leader for us in this unknown territory.” He had wiped Jean’s face before kissing him, “But Jean, you gotta let us take care of you. I _want_ to take care of you. Eren _wants_ to take care of you. Let us and stop being such an asshole about it.”

Now they were in a much better situation with Armin returned to them, their relationship at its strongest, and their future looking brighter and brighter as the days went on. This was a wrench in those plans Jean had begun mapping out for Marco and he. “Babe, I won’t say anything when we get there other than you mentioned-“ Marco reached across the center console of the used black Chevy torque to take Jean’s hand, “I know. Thank you. Just relax. It might not be that bad or nothing at all, you know?” Marco was dying of guilt and Jean knew it, “Babe, thank you for saying something.”

Once they pulled into the drive way Jean started to sweat, “I don’t like lying to my mother.” Marco’s eyes widened, “Um sorry, what was that?” He gave him a scrupulous look. Jean tapped the steering wheel, “I don’t like lyin’ to my mother!” Marco started to a slow trickle of giggles, “You gunna sit there and say that to me? Me? After all the stories I’ve heard of you and Armin nearly getting caught having sex and then coming in late after doing coke with Eren and Mikasa’s phases of intense paranoia and-“ “OK BUT THAT’S NOT REALLY LYING! THAT WAS BEING A KID AND SAVING MY ASS! I never lie to my mother about serious things.” Marco gave him a probing look, “Do you…lie to me about…non serious things?” A long moment passed, “Noooo.” “JEAN!” “I DON’T! WELL…..about stuff everyone lies about you know like little stuff like…” “Like what?” “Like if you try somethin’ on and you ask me, babe do I look fat? Even if you did you don’t say that you just say, naw babe, you’re my bae and you look fine and fly as fuck. You know what I mean?” “Jean, no. So, I look fat and you just let me walk around looking fat and you lie to me. I can never trust you again.” “EVERYONE DOES IT. IT ISN’T! UGHHHH THAT WAS JUST A BAD EXAMPLE YOU NEVER LOOK FAT YOU ARE PRECIOUS.” “Precious, like, not masculine?” “WHAT? OH MY GOD WHERE IS MY MARCO? YOU’RE ANTI MARCO! YOU’RE…...” Jean gasped, “Has Armin taught you how to mind fuck me? Have you been talking to Armin about how to mess with me? This just screams tiny shota trickery.” 

Marco burst into laughter before composing his face and dead panning, “Armin is my senpai.” Jean rolled his eyes, “I knew it.” He mumbled turning the car off and getting out. Once they reached the door his mother opened it embracing him in a crushing hug, “Are you okay? Is Marco okay? Are you two okay?” Jean hugged his mother tightly, “Yeah yeah,” his voice broke, “We’re great. I just missed you ‘s all.” She gave Marco a questioning look and he smiled nodding along, “I kinda missed dad, too.” Mr. Bodt appeared looking as handsome as ever, “Marco, come. My beautiful son has come to visit, finally.” He embraced his son and Ms. Kirschstein ushered them inside for coffee.

Once settled down she began cooking. Jean turned to Marco before standing up, “Momma let me. I told you we’d take you out.” Ms. Kirschstein swatted his hand away, “Non, non, non,” she tisked, “the realtor has the houses lined up for here today starting at 12 and then tomorrow we’ll head up towards Mr. Bodt’s neck of the woods. We’re also looking at somewhere in the city here.” Jean’s brow furrowed, “The city? Really?” She nodded, “Yes, now sit. I’ll make your favorite.” Jean reluctantly sat down on the couch with Marco who took his hand and smiled, “I love you.” Jean smiled as Mr. Bodt laughed, “You two lovers are like sweet bread. Nice to taste but will make you sick if you eat too much.”

At the table Marco and Jean’s mother talked animatedly while Marco’s father smiled and asked Jean about his art. He had gone to Atlanta with Ms. Kirschstein and went to the museum to see it. “Delaine, pass me the sugar?” Marco’s father smiled so dashingly Jean nearly choked, “Oh wow, that face only comes out when Marco really wants something.” Ms. Kirschstein rolled her eyes, mouth held coyly, “Oh, trust me; Giovanni is the same way, a quick rump in the sheets or an espresso. The look is always the same.” Jean gasped, “Mother! I didn’t need the sheets part.” Marco and his father burst into laughter as Jean flushed red, “Gross. Y’all don’t do that. Just…no.” 

After lunch and more teasing they all climbed in Jean’s truck. “I like this but don’t you think it’s a bit unseemly?” Jean rolled his eyes, “Mom how is a truck unseemly?” She clutched his pearl satin hand purse, her pressed navy long sleeved sheath dressed laid beautifully and her fur russet scarf laid well pinned with a pearl brooch Jean gave her in high school after he made a lot of money off a commission. “I don’t know. I like it. It’s big and manly.” Giovanni began pinching her legs. She pawed him away from her legs, “Stop.” She demurred. Marco turned around, “You look like you’re going out to a gala, not a house showing.” She smiled, “I dress for success, dear. The world is my fashion show. How are Mikasa and that glorious David doing?” Marco smiled and they discussed the snail like pace that was David and Mikasa’s relationship momentum.

The first house was nice, the second one was too, and then the third and the fourth were also great. Jean and Marco were asked for their input often about how they would feel coming to this new house for family things, which rooms they'd want for themselves and their things since this would be both their homes now when or if they ever returned for some time. Marco held Jean's hand lovingly as he started to become more and more overwhelmed. "You don't want to leave your house, right?" Marco whispered sincerely in one of the bathrooms they had inspected. Jean shrugged, "I guess not. I guess.....I thought I'd be toting my old ass up those steps to my room till I died. But, change can be good. If it makes them happy and we're going to be considered well, that's more than most couples get from their parents. I don't have a right to complain." Jean's eyes were sad but he managed a small smile for Marco's sake, "You want this to be our rooms with the Jack and Jill bath? We could sneak into each other’s beds at night like teenagers." He snickered as Marco hit him and teased, "I'm sleeping by myself from now on so it doesn't matter. You're too lame for me."

Delaine found them all satisfactory but Giovanni could tell she wasn't thrilled. "I can move in with you, Delaine. Until it all works out. It will all work out." Delaine pouted, "No, that's not really fair. I barely stay with you and you have a right to a home we share or at least one that doesn't hold all the memories of past lovers." Giovanni smirked, "We're there many before me?" She demurred, "A lady never tells." He took her hand, "I canceled the house tour near me.” She started to protest, “I know you want to be here or the city. I think the city would be a good option and its near the hospital. Maybe that's better than being walking distance to the Jaegers?" She worried her lip, "I thought about it like that too but I'm not sure. Wouldn't it be better to stay near when leaving the house is difficult?" He shrugged, "We'll make a list. Think about it. I'm following your lead, darling. As long as I am near you, my moon, I will be happy." She blushed as he gave her the same devastating smile, "Gio control yourself. Our children are in the other room."

They spent the next two days looking at houses in the city. Jean was welling up inside wanting to ask his mother if she was alright. He’d overheard something about one house being exactly halfway from the hospital and their old home. Marco begged him wait for the right time and he bit his tongue looking for one. 

At dinner Delaine and Gio ordered a huge sampling of things at _Chez LaLoo_ , the local French restaurant that Delaine helped support with generous donations in the beginning before it became popular and well known. Jean and Marco sat across from their parents in the leather booth listening to Dalidia sing. His mother had been very impressed with the fact he knew almost all of the songs and could sing them well but he was quick to tell her it was all thanks to Levi and Erwin who played her through the day on the house music system. Levi was by far one of his mother’s favorite people. She swelled with pride, “Oh, Levi. If only I were a younger woman. I’d take Eren down for that man.” Gio gave a surprised look and then laughed. Marco’s eyes widened, “Why laugh at that dad? She’d leave you for Levi.” He quirked an eyebrow, “Doesn’t that worry you?” His father laughed more, “Oh, I’d leave me for Levi. Hahaha But, I’m not worried. If I were a young man he’d have no chance against me.” He winked and Marco snorted, “I actually believe that.”

Jean started to smother his third piece of bread with butter when his mother’s body language changed, “We’ve decided to postpone the house search. I’m sorry to have taken up your time but we decided to wait last night after considering the options. I think that instead Giovanni will move in with me and we’ll renovate the house. That why when we do sell it, it’ll sell for more than it would now.” Giovanni smiled and Marco smiled both the same pleasing mask Jean had some to know as their shield when situations were perilous to navigate. It was like the snapping of a branch, loud, definite, splintering, and Jean’s mouth opened on its own as it was want to do. “Mom are you sick?” Delaine’s mouth fell open slightly till she closed it wiping it with her napkin, “I’m not sick. Why?” Jean’s mind was spinning, “Marco thought you were.” Her eyes flittered to Marco whose cheeks were hot from her glare, “You’re father must have given you that idea.” 

Giovanni moved, cheeks also red, “He might have overheard a slip of tongue that I had to compensate for.” Jean was just thankful his mother wasn’t ill, “Then why are you trying to be closer to the hospital?” Delaine wouldn’t meet her son’s gaze. A tense moment passed before Jean started to lose his temper, “Jean,” Marco warned. “MOM, TELL ME.” She shushed him, “Don’t be so loud! It’s none of your business.” Giovanni moved away slightly, “Would anyone like some-“ “No! MOMMA TELL ME!” “It’s not me, I’m not sick. But, someone you know is. I really shouldn’t say anything. They don’t want it out yet.” Jean was stewing, “Momma I won’t say anything but if you don’t tell me then…well….I’m just going to keep feeling like it is you and you’re lying.” It was the point now. He wanted to know because he was angry that someone else had made him worry his mother was ill. He wanted a name, he wanted proof, he was being a brat and he didn’t care. “Jean, it’s….” his mother’s eyes started to shine from tears, “Its Carla.” Jean didn’t know who that was, “Who?” Delaine sighed in exasperation while Marco went white as a sheet, “Noooo.” Jean looked between them, “Carla?” 

Delaine nodded, “Sweetheart, Carla Jaeger has cancer.” Jean felt like the wind had been knocked out of him, “Like….bad cancer?” Marco huffed, “There isn’t any good cancer, Jean.” Jean felt stupid for saying it like that but how else was someone going to ask about it? There were types of cancer if caught early and depending on where they were or malignant or benign….. _My God, Eren doesn’t know…Eren will freak out._ Delaine sat back, “It’s bad, Jean. They’ve given her a year, maybe a year and a half. There’s hope, though it’s very, very small. She’s decided to start the heavy treatments after Eren’s wedding, though Mr. Jaeger is beyond distraught at her decision he does respect it. He wants everything to go well for them and they aren’t telling Eren till afterwards. They won’t tell him till they have to.”

Jean reeled, “BUT HIDING IT IS GOING TO MAKE IT WORSE!” His eyes stung from his own tears. Carla was his mother’s best friend; she was a second mother to him. Everyone loved her. “I know, it would seem to appear that’s the least…appropriate option. I personally would not keep an illness from you simply because I’d selfishly want to spend as much time with you as possible. But, this is her choice and she knows what the best way to go about it all is, not us. We just need to be there for them.” Jean squirmed in his seat, “Is that what you’re doing?” Delaine nodded, “I am. I’m going to stay in the neighborhood and help her when she does chemo and radiation. I don’t work conventional hours so I’ll be a nurse.” Marco took Jean’s hand under the table, “Were you ever one?” She nodded, “Red Cross volunteer in Africa. Please, boys….don’t tell Eren. It’ll ruin his happiness.” Giovanni rubbed her back before kissing her cheek, “Let’s go. We’ve made a scene.” 

Once they got back to the house they all changed and joined in the living room. Jean laid his head in his mother’s lap as she stroked his hair on the couch beneath a cashmere throw Mikasa had given her when they were dating. Marco and his father were cuddled up in the recliner, Marco’s head on his chest like he had done as a child. In truth, both boys had missed their parents terribly. They quickly drifted off to sleep, Jean’s soft snores and Marco’s deep even breaths. Gio ran his hand through his hair lovingly, “Our boys sure are something.” Delaine smiled, “So smart, talented, and handsome. They’re the finest young men around.” He smiled fondly, “I am happy to be moving in to a home with such love.” Delaine’s head rolled back and to the side resting on the back of the couch while she studied him. Her eyes bright even in the dim lighting of the room, “I am happy to be adding yours and Marco’s love to this home.” They both smiled at each other, Gio chuckling softly, as they admired their children, the very best parts of them till they all fell asleep.


	45. Sex and Candy

“Call me when you get there, okay?” Levi shut the back of the car, “Ahuvi, I will.” Eren looked inside checking to see that he had everything, “You promise?” Levi sighed, “You’re being such a brat. It’ll only be for a week or two.” Levi walked to the driver’s side door where Eren stood. Armin had gone back inside to say goodbye to Erwin and was now opening the door to head down to the car. “You’ll be safe and remember to eat?” Levi merely stared as Eren gave him his best puppy dog eyes and quivering lip. Levi still stared, “Because eating is important, Neshama.” Levi sighed, “Take care of my dog, brat.” He begrudgingly gave Eren a kiss and then slipped into the car. “Levi don’t be like that! I thought you’d like my idea!” Levi gave him another pointed stare, “I don’t. Stay safe, don’t do anything stupid, take care of Erwin, take care of Donner, follow the lists I left, and maybe when I get back I’ll, perhaps, be in a better mood. Ani ohev otkah, ahuvi. Shalom.” 

Eren leaned down kissing him. He pulled Levi’s bottom lip with his teeth before releasing with a small growl, “Sometimes, I fucking hate you.” He whispered half serious half playful. It got a snort from Levi who rolled his eyes before kissing him again, “Don’t break the old man in there.” Armin blew him a kiss before saying bye. They left out heading to the airport where they would meet David and then fly in to D.C. and then head to New York by car. David thought that would be best. Mikasa had gone to Atlanta for work and David was letting her use his apartment. Eren had asked how things were going and Mikasa had finally revealed what they all wanted to know: No, they hadn’t slept together yet and yes, they wanted to. 

Mikasa had described it as a delicate dance they were engaged in. David treated her so well and she felt immensely happy to have him in her life. He wined her and dined her and Eren loved him, absolutely adored him and thought he was the next best thing since sliced bread. That hadn’t gone unnoticed by Mikasa, who craved Eren’s approval, and thus she started seeing David in many new lights that she’d not done with Annie or Jean. Eren was delighted she was happy and at the possibility that David could maybe become his in-law one day in the future.

Eren returned inside and decided to devote himself like a wise student to his studies.

********************

After a few hours his eyes were tired and he had reached the point where no other information could be absorbed. He’d been going to the animal hospital three times a week and working for Hanji. His classes were in the middle of midterms and he had written his essays ahead of time with Armin’s help. He actually was very on top of things and that surprised himself. He decided to have a little fun and find daddy war-bucks Smith.

Eren entered his study finding him sitting behind his desk with a look of boredom, “How’s it going?” Erwin looked up and shrugged, “I’m….tired. I’ve got writers block and my sources aren’t very inspiring right now. What are you….up to?” He gave him and inquisitive look and a lopsided smile. Eren felt himself fill with a bit of playfulness, “Well it’s just us for the next week or two. I was wondering if you’d like to….you know…..raise hell?” Erwin put his papers away, “Most definitely.”

****************

**A Week Later**

“I don’t know if you can get anymore on that.” Eren said in wonder. Erwin turned to him with a look of disbelief, “I’m Erwin Ziv Smith; I do whatever I want.” He laid the waffle cone down in the chocolate for a third time before gently and deftly removing it and rolling it in the sprinkles, coating it in a shell of multicolor sugar delight. “And you said it couldn’t be done. A triple chocolate cone from milk chocolate, dark chocolate, and white chocolate, with an armor of sprinkles, _ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?_ ” Eren laughed taking the cone, “I am very entertained, Mr. Smith. Hey, let’s watch that movie. Mr and Mrs. Smith. I hate Angelina Joli but it’s a good movie.” 

Erwin gave him a curious look, “Armin hates her, too. I’m indifferent. I don’t really see the allure and Levi has a very negative opinion of her but….I feel like I’m missing something. What about Brad?” Eren snorted rolling his eyes, “He’s not all that either. Everyone creams their pants and I’d much prefer Tom Schilling or Daniel Bruehl or Daniel Craig.” Erwin laughed, “Tom Schilling is Levi’s twin. He’s a fabulous actor. Let’s watch _Oh, Boy!_ instead. It’s on Netflix as _Coffee in Berlin._ ” Erwin and Eren returned to the media room.

Thank God, Levi didn’t have cameras in the house. He’d die if he saw the state of it. Piles of garbage in the kitchen, messy counters, unwashed dishes, blankets and throws not properly folded, the grout in the bathrooms un-scrubbed, toilet bowl dirty, sheets dirty, it was utterly devastating compared to its normal state. Erwin and Eren hadn’t washed every day, they wore dirty clothes, Erwin’s rough beard becoming thicker. He had had a hair cut recently so it looked pretty much the same but with natural hair grease rather than product. 

They spent the day watching films and discussing Jung. Something that had surprised Erwin was Eren’s passion for psychology. He had used his relationship with Armin to discus lofty ideas, psychological theories, and even philosophy. He had a penchant for finding relatable characters or persons with almost Christ-like complexes. He cared about people who had ideals thrust upon them that made them become living symbols for others. He also tried to understand his own justice complex through these persons and theories. He often felt like he was symbol for things, especially now that he and Marco were both the living embodiment of Levi’s work and his abilities. Erwin felt the weight of Eren’s assumed responsibilities and sympathized.

The next day Eren went to the lab to meet with Hanji but they weren’t there. Mila had a check up and Mike was off so they were spending the day together as a family. _Good for them,_ he thought. He entered and went to his seat to start checking on his experiments and data. He studied the first experiment and there was no change. The second one was odd, it seemed that the serum didn’t like it when his and Marco’s blood was combined. At least that was a positive progression in their attempt to understand how it all worked. They knew it was linked to him being O negative, they knew it saw inorganic material as a threat, and that it didn’t like being mixed with other blood that contained the serum. That last part would be a problem for blood transfusions. The second part was why Erwin’s arm was lost but it didn’t explain why Levi’s leg was left alone.

Through the rest he went methodically trying to contain himself for the one he really wanted to check. He’d been working with Erwin’s DNA ever since Hanji got blood from him for whatever reason. He hadn’t asked. He didn’t really care to. _I do what I want._ He inspected the sample, ran the data, ran the experiment again, got the same conclusion. He did it almost 40 more times with the same results. Eren was stupefied.

He may have just discovered how to use this to change the world. 

***************

Eren made his way home noting that Erwin was taking the trash out. “Hey, honey, whatcha doin’?” He winked at Eren who was trying to contain himself, “What are you doing right now?” Erwin motioned to the trashcan, “Cleaning the kitchen. It actually needs it.” Eren nodded, “I’ll help.” They went inside cleaning the kitchen as best they could without really giving it a proper clean. The dishwashers were running and the counters cleaned off. Trash was gone and the room smelled a lot better. Donner was chasing Commander around, popping out from behind furniture as Commander would lunge towards him pretending to grapple him. They were adorable and Eren forgot his urgency for a moment. “Have you showered today?” Erwin nodded, “This morning, why?” Eren was really just stalling, “I have something I want to ask you but I’m scared.”

Erwin leaned against the counter. He wore a light oatmeal colored thermal with two buttons that could open the color and expose his chest. His boxers were white and airy and in the pale silver, grey, and blue tones of the kitchen he looked like he was modeling for _Better Homes and Gardens._ Erwin tapped the counter before honestly questioning him, “You want to sleep together?” He spoke lowly, cautiously. Erwin really had no idea what Eren might be afraid to ask and they had been intimate with Levi there but now that Armin was back it complicated matters. Should they go back to the previous arrangement? Would Armin be angry? They’d discussed it loosely before but only that Eren and Levi were to only two people that either were okay with adding to that side of their relationship. No one else was allowed to see Armin like that in Erwin’s mind, no one. But, here Eren was being strange. Maybe there was something about it that he wanted to explore? Or maybe he just wanted turn the hallway into a slip’n’slide and Erwin was jumping the gun completely? He had mentioned it before and this would be the only time that would be possible with Levi gone but it might warp the floor.

Eren jumped at the question, “Ummmm that’s….wow…..ummm….I mean…” He had wondered about it and Levi had mentioned that he wouldn’t mind as long as they didn’t make it an everyday thing. Jealousy between the two men was still there, just not near as bad as they’d thought it would be. “Um well, Levi said he wouldn’t mind but that’s not it.” Erwin’s face was lit in surprise, “Oh, you two…talked about that.” He blushed, “Um this is so awkward.” Eren laughed nervously, “I know! We’re never this awkward.” Erwin laughed, “Just ask. I’ll answer honestly. That’s all that matters.” Eren pulled off his grey knit scarf and laid it down, “Erwin, I took your blood from Hanji’s samples and I ran tests on it. I think that, no, I’m sure that there is a 93% chance that if you let me inject you with this new serum I’ve made I can re-grow your arm and heal anything else that’s not healed properly in your body with this.”

Eren removed a vile from his jean pocket and a new syringe, “Only if you want to take the risk.” Erwin stared at the vile, “How,” his voice gravelly and his throat felt dry, “many times did you test it?” Eren never wavered in his eye contact, “Over 50 times by the time I left. I kept trying to make it not work….but it did.” Erwin swallowed, “Okay, I’m a betting man. 93% is a good chance of success. Let’s do it. If it re-grows and I’m fine, nothing changed, no three heads, then let’s celebrate with sex and candy. If it all goes to hell have Hanji and the hospital on speed dial. I’ll give you my phone for one.” Erwin took out his phone and handed it to Eren who was a little shocked he agreed.

They set the numbers and laid the phones out on the table. Erwin sat down and took off his shirt preparing himself for the prick of the needle and whatever else may come. He looked to Eren one last time, “Do you really have candy?” Erwin laughed shortly giving him an amused look, “Of course.” Eren looked at him curiously, “Like….what kind?” Erwin smirked, “The good stuff. I don’t keep it in the candy jars or designated candy areas like Levi wants me to because its good shit. I hide it in my room in the closet….Armin doesn’t even know where it is. I am confiding this in you, my fellow dirty indulger.” Eren smiled, “Well, I hope that this works because that sounds amazing.” Eren swabbed the area and quickly committed to sticking Erwin quickly.

Five minutes later Eren and Erwin were sitting across from one another waiting. Erwin said he felt fine and Eren had begun to worry he’d opened his big mouth and gotten Erwin’s hopes up for nothing. _I can’t do anything right. Why am I such an idiot?! _He stood up to get Erwin a glass of water, “Here maybe…drink something. Or I don’t know….do a dance.” Erwin snorted, “A dance? Like a rain dance?” Eren moped shrugging and falling on the table where he sat, his eyes heavy, “I’m sorry, Erwin. I’m so sorry.” Erwin shrugged drinking the water. “It’s only been five minutes, honey. Give it a bit.”__

Another five minutes passed and Erwin said he felt warmer and that he tingled all over now except in his arm. Eren started making notes and then he set up a camera. “Hanji would want this recorded.” Erwin nodded, “I’ll need to sign a document.” He stated plainly before thinking to himself and mumbling, “I’ll need to write up that document.” After twenty minutes collapsed Erwin said the tingling was now like a buzz of bees beneath the skin of his arm and nowhere else. He was starting to feel a bit nauseous. Eren moved the trashcan, “Are you going to throw up?” Erwin shook his head, “No, I mean…it’s like when you get too hot and your stomach becomes unsettled. I think I’ll make it without actually puking.”

Eren and Erwin watched as slowly, though it really was quick when they thought about it, over the course of an hour since injection his arm grew back. The skin was red, hot, and the air around it was so much colder is created steam in the reasonably warm house. Erwin was uncomfortable but only if he looked at it. It was mind boggling, awkward, _unheimlich._ He couldn’t handle it but they pressed on.

Once they figured it was done he was monitored for another tense hour, vitals recorded, dexterity tested, blood samples taken and inspected in Levi’s at home lab equipment. Erwin was, in all aspects, fully healed. His bones that had been broken we now fully returned to their original state. The break he had as a child after playing with Mike in an apple tree in his ankle that never really healed right was now a memory. Erwin said he felt years younger even if he was a bit tired it wasn’t anything that would lay him out for the rest of the day. 

Eren made copies of the tape while Erwin napped. He slept on the futon in the office where Eren was set up now writing up reports he knew Levi and Hanji would have insisted on. After two hours he was really feeling that candy and stress relieving sex that was promised to him. Luckily, as he came back after getting another water to drink for himself and Erwin his opportunity emerged. Erwin was on his back stretching his arm with a soft smile. Eren walked over to him handing him the water, “Drink.” Erwin did and then he sat it down sitting up. Eren gave him a questioning look, “Where are you headin’?” Erwin smirked, “To pee and then fuck you.” Eren smiled, “Oh.” As Erwin was leaving he turned back, “In here or your room?” Erwin shrugged, “Here’s fine. You have lube?” Eren nodded removing a small bottle from the bookshelf, “Always.” Erwin chuckled rubbing his stomach, “I’ll bring the candy.”

**********************

When Erwin returned Eren was in his emerald green briefs and black long sleeve thermal. “You’re prepared?” Erwin quirked an eyebrow, watching his long legged and delectable friend move from one foot to the other stretching. Eren smirked at him, “Yeah, what? I’m not butt ass naked so you thought I wasn’t? I’d get cold waiting for your slow ass.” He smiled ruefully as Erwin stalked towards him. Eren was pretty excited to have Erwin all to himself. They had a good relationship and after all the months of trying to get Erwin to engage in some way, to find comfort or release, he’d come to love him in his own special way outside of Levi and Armin.

Erwin was powerful like Levi but he was taller, bigger, his hands cupped the edges of Eren’s body differently. He was also rougher in a way that he couldn’t explain. Erwin was a lion who threw his lovers around, surrounded them with his body protectively: he claimed, dominated, marked, and possessed. Now Eren understood why Levi said sleeping with Erwin made him feel comforted, safe, warm, and light like he was in this golden haze. There was something primal to it that had Eren’s eyes wide as he panted beneath him while his hands teased and then came to rest on his buttocks kneading the muscles while he covered his chest with open mouth kisses. 

Where Levi was a heavy darkness that anchored Eren down making his every move meaningful and powerful Erwin seemed to make it all glow. Levi was ritual, symbolic, decadent, dangerous, and excitingly seedy sometimes. As Erwin opened his legs wider and slide into him in one controlled movement Eren’s mind was buzzing. He filled him for the first time with something other than his fingers and Eren understood that Erwin was a man with everything going for him. He started off slowly letting Eren adjust; after a while he moved to meet him thrust for thrust. Erwin was pleased at his enthusiasm. As Eren smiled against his cheek, “I guess I see what all the fuss is about now.” Erwin made a gruff noise that was supposed to be a laugh, “You like it, honey?” Eren moaned as he started hitting his prostate, “Yeah, I do.” He kissed him and what a difference it was.

The first time they kissed was in the club in Atlanta and it had been a bit awkward. They were trying to fight each other. Eren wouldn’t give Erwin the attention he wanted, wouldn’t succumb to his prowess like Armin. Levi and Eren didn’t like giving people what they wanted. They thought they ought to work for it, something they bonded over wordlessly. As they continued he noticed that Erwin and Armin were evenly matched in the need for praise. He liked Eren to talk dirty but really up the ante on praise of his body or moves. This was such a difference from the hollow shell he’d experienced after Armin’s death.

He’d needed coaxing, didn’t speak and didn’t expect to be spoken to. He had touched Eren with care, stroked him tenderly, he’d kissed softly, he’d sucked slowly, and drawing himself closer and closer to Eren as Levi had guided him. Eren nibbled his bottom lip and then underneath his jaw pulling at his hair. He was rough and just as welcoming to Erwin as he was to Eren. Soon he was turned around on his stomach, taken from behind and mercilessly drilled into while Erwin, slick on his back, moaned wantonly. 

Eren was surprised after a particularly hard thrust and he started to come, clenching around Erwin making him follow. He pressed his face into the mattress, inhaled a large amount of air before relaxing into his bliss. Erwin stayed propped up on top, one arm holding his hips off the bed as he finished inside of him. Eren could now understand Armin’s perspective. This was a welcoming feeling being with someone so much bigger. Erwin had a commanding fatherly leader aura. He felt well taken care of as he fell to the side gathering him up and rubbing his back smiling.

His smile was dashing as the light come in through the window and illuminated his features. They started to laugh whole heartedly. “Thank you, Eren.” Eren moved to cross his arms under his chin, “Thank you, Mr. Smith for the great sex. I was pretty stressed out.” Erwin hummed, “God, me too. I was really scared for a while but I feel at least ten years younger.” Eren closed his eyes as Erwin’s hands came to a stop, “Levi is very lucky.” Eren smirked, “Armin is very lucky.” Erwin huffed, “That little devil.” The room filled with laughter as they remained for the next hour. 

**************

”Why do you call me honey?” Eren probed eating a chocolate turtle from the candy bag, “Do you mean something by it or?” Erwin reached over cupping the side of his face while stroking his cheek, “Because your skin is like dark honey. You’re rich, sometimes overpowering, beneficial, and you’re sweetly distinct.” Eren blushed, _Levi has said stuff like that too._ Erwin flicked the tip of his nose, “Let’s go figure out what we want for dinner. Maybe we can bake something after it.” Eren crawled off the futon, “I’m getting fat.” Erwin chuckled, “It’s just all the junk we’ve been eating. I think your little pooch is cute.” He walked behind him pulling at his skin, “Erwin! That makes me self-conscious.” Erwin backed off holding his hands up, “Wow, funny thing is Armin is in New York but somehow his voice just came out your mouth.” He gave him a lopsided smile and winked before Eren hit him on his arm. Erwin snickered rubbing the area flexing his old/new arm, “Wow, you’re violent like him, too.”


	46. Isi

Eren and Erwin spent the night examining his arm and all it could do. That had eventually led to Eren panting and squirming in Erwin’s lap more than once. He had laid back against Erwin's chest spent and heavy in the desk chair before laughing breathlessly as Erwin set to typing on the computer in front of them, "I really missed having two hands. It's hard to type with just one and you know, give a great hand job with all the bells and whistles." He winked smugly as Eren fell asleep, exhausted, sated, and happy.

They were carefree, excited, and having fun; fun with no strings attached or responsibilities. Eren joked that if this was the olden times he'd be his head mistress. Erwin liked the sound of that but had to break it to him that position would always be reserved for Levi. They crawled into bed discussing a myriad of things till Eren landed on something that peeked Erwin's interest. "You'd like to own and operate your own clinic one day?" "Yeah, I thought it'd be good because as I got older I could hire people I trust that could handle the business when I wanted time off to spend with my kids or just go on vacation. It's probably a bad idea. I mean, Maria has the school hospital so most people go there." "Yes, but that's because there _isn't_ a clinic in town and I know the prices would be about the same at both facilities, perhaps cheaper at a smaller clinic in respect to overhead. In fact, the hospital could refer patients to you and you'd be ideal for personalized care and if you made house visits....damn....the hospital doesn't do that unless it's an emergency for large livestock when an outbreak is feared, Mike told me so. You know, Mike would be great for that. He's engineering but he has a degree in animal sciences. That's why he can help Hanji so well." Eren smiled as he thought about the Zoe-Zacharias household and made mental note to ask Hanji if he could baby sit Mila sometime soon. Erwin sat up pulling Eren over to him where he wrapped his arm around his back cradling him. Eren rested his head on his shoulder that now had an arm connected to it. A live, feeling, working arm.

Erwin sighed, "I'll help in whatever way I can. Maybe, Armin might want to..." he trailed off when Eren began to chuckle, a strange sound from his other laughs, "Oooooh no. Armin already told me about how you don't want him to work and to just spend time with you. Listen, here's some advice: never say that stuff to Armin like that. It starts to scare him and makes him angry. He either takes it as you want to control him to make him weak so you can have the upper hand or that you don't think he can do it. Either way, he'd never admit that to you out his sincere love and adoration of you but Jean and I know, we learned the hard way. You know what you should do? Just buy a business and have him run it and call the shots. Act like it was the best deal and that you would have been crazy to pass it up but that you are hopeless when it comes to making it a real dream come true. That's probably the best comprise now that I know what you want and how Armin feels." Erwin cringed, "It does sound bad, doesn't it? I'm not very good at expressing things the right way." Eren rolled his eyes, "Quatsch. (Nonsense) You're a smooth operator. Kein Mitleid. (No pity.)" Erwin started tracing random patterns on Eren’s exposed skin, "I'm not smooth when asking selfish things, which is most of the time with Armin. I selfishly want him all to myself. I selfishly want him to find the most joy in spending time with me. I want what is mine near to me."

Eren studied him for a long time before shrugging, "I think you're just scared." Erwin looked at him, "You think? Of what?" "Of being alone and unimportant. So, this is really just coming from a place of fear, isn't it? I may be shit with understanding other people's emotions but those based in raw primal origins are easy for me to dissect. I'd be afraid, too. Armin is. He's terrified, to be honest. That's why he lets you control and take care of him because you feed off of it and he wants to do the same for you and letting you baby him achieves that goal. You are only happy when you're in charge or at least deferred to. You like being the almost god father of us. Armin exploits that by always making sure to never miss an opportunity to stroke your ego. He holds all the cards, as per usual." Eren snickered and so did Erwin, "He's got me around his little finger for sure. Thank you for this talk Eren." "No problem. Thank you for raising hell with me." "Oh it’s been a delight. What do you want to do tomorrow?" "Hike." "Then hike we shall." "You wanna watch the news?" "Have they called?" "Yeah." "Then no. I'd rather avoid the news since we have it all straight from the horse’s mouth." "Okay, big daddy. I agree."

*******************

Erwin and Eren pulled up to the trail getting out and stretching. It was cold in the early morning. The leaves brown on the forest floor soon to be replaced with green blossoms and new growth all around. A think layer of frost was around the edges of the ponds and creeks they passed. Eren packed a light lunch for them and as they sat they noticed a mother deer and her two babies. One of the two was moving along really well, though, she'd given birth at an odd time in Eren's opinion. He watched as the more active one bounded in the meadow they sat near as she grazed keeping a watchful eye on Eren and Erwin. The second baby, however, was wounded in some way. Its leg wasn't right, almost lame, and it couldn't keep up. Eren watched for a long time before deciding that the mother was trying to leave it behind because of its injury. This broke his heart. It was such a cute baby, nothing that a vet couldn't fix. Nothing that.... _I couldn't fix._

Erwin watched as Eren sat up removing his scarf as he stalked cautiously towards the baby deer. The mother and brother or sister spooked running off and leaving it. It tried and tried to run but its leg was clearly broken, most likely in birth if Eren had to guess. He walked behind it before testing just how skittish it was. He noted it was panicked and so he tried to lure it to him with his apple slices. It worked. The poor thing was hungry and needed milk more than the apple. After nosing and trying to eat a few pieces Eren took his scarf wrapping it around the deer and picking him up. Erwin gave him a warning look, "Eren..." Eren pouted, "I do what I want." Erwin sighed, “Hold it in the car and don’t let it get loose while I drive.”

********

Back at the house Eren fed and cleaned the deer. He made it a pen in living room because it was too cold for the barn till they had the hay and everything. Also, it needed to be fed almost every 4 to 6 hours, something in the middle of the night Eren refused to walk all the way to the barn in the cold to do when it could just be downstairs or by his bed. He made a splint for its leg that Erwin marveled at and took pictures of to send to Mike. The deer explored the house while Donner watched curiously and Commander joined him swishing his tail back and forth on top of the piano. Eventually, Commander made his way over to Erwin for him to be held. He wasn’t so sure about their new family member. 

Erwin watched with his arms crossed cradling Commander, "You would do this." Erwin started, "Levi is going to freak out. He lint rolls and bathes Donner." Eren petted the deer while sitting on the floor, "I bathed this little cutie." Erwin smiled despite himself, _you're a little cutie....I miss my little cutie Armin._ "But what about it not being house trained?" Eren looked from Erwin to the deer now inspecting the couch closest to the kitchen opening in the second area of the living room. Eren snapped his fingers, "I've got an idea." He rushed up stairs leaving Erwin shaking his head, "Bet you do."

Eren used diapers they had stocked up for Mila on the deer to compensate. Erwin gave him a kiss and an A for effort. "Truly brilliant." Erwin and Eren started bonding with the deer, who clearly saw Eren as its mother and soul source food over the next few days. Armin and David had called saying Levi's phone was lost and Eren spent a few precious minutes speaking with him. They both decided not to mention Erwin's arm nor the deer that they now were trying to decide on a name for. "Erwin, Bambi is a sad movie, we can’t name it that." Erwin t'sked before mumbling, "I liked that movie, personally. What about Isi or Tzvi?" Eren's brow furrowed, "What are those? " "Isi is Native American for deer and Tzvi is Hebrew for deer. But Ofra is also Hebrew for deer and an amazing singer that Levi loves."

Eren contemplated them, "Isi is pretty and I like that you came up with it." Eren winked as Erwin stretched rolling his eyes, "Levi is going to freak out." "I know but it would have died." "You're so kind." Erwin went into the bedroom laying down as the little fawn sat down next to Donner who had warmed up to it, taking it under its wing like a surrogate father. Eren crawled into bed next to him sighing, "David hasn't called Mikasa in a few days and she's in his apartment feeling out of place." "Tell her to come back here." "No, I think she's wanting to stay and greet him when he returns. But she's worrying and I just needed to tell someone. We have so much to tell, actually." 

Erwin played with Eren's hair, "We......haven't. .....told Hanji......" Eren was a bit puzzled at the declaration, "yeah?" Erwin shrugged, "Should we? It's been almost two weeks. They should have come home but that's looking like it won’t happen for a while." Eren laid his head on his chest, "No. I want to wait and enjoy us being alone in peace without the prodding. I know they mean well but it'll become so intense and right now I'm content to blindly stay in this delicate ecosystem we've made. Jean and Marco are with their parents still and when they come to Maria it’s to grab work and go since right now their stuff is take home and online. They'll come back next week and then it'll be over. We'll be separated again from our glorious debauchery." Erwin sat up moving over Eren to cuddle him, his voice buzzed as he whispered, "Levi was pretty mad when he left." 

Eren looked sad, "Yeah." Erwin's gaze was probing, "What could you have done to possibly upset him, oh blessed chosen one?" Erwin teased but he was sincerely interested. Eren closed his eyes, "I want us to have no contact the week of the wedding. It’s a tradition in Judaism that couples separate the week before the wedding. I think it'll really make everything even more special since we're already together and yeah, it'll be sort of difficult but that's why Mikasa is in charge and then the day of Ms. Kirschstein. He's upset. This is the first time we've been apart and...." Erwin did know, "He gets sick when he's away from me. I'm sure he's even more ill away from you. The week before the wedding is when he thinks he'll need you most and this is, in his opinion if I may venture to assume I know what his opinion would be of this situation, a good idea and special and rooted in tradition but also its like an abandonment." He traced the fine features of Eren's face as he waited, "But I wanna..." Erwin smiled, "Then he'll agree." Eren moved to bring Erwin on his side, "Please, help me make him happy, always." Erwin chuckled, "Do you miss him?" "It's an ache I've never known could hurt so badly. I've felt it similarly with Armin but this is beyond comparison. I love that man, that beautiful monotone angry short man." Eren and Erwin burst into laughter before calming. Erwin's eyes were hooded and his tone sincere and soft, "I hope," Eren's breath became shallow as Erwin tenderly and slowly stroked his lip, "that Levi and Armin can be as close as we are. Something I thought I'd never say but now after bonding with you I see that it would be great if we could all separately have relationships as nice as this. Let’s explore your ideas about the future more tomorrow and look at having the barn finished before Levi gets back. That's where the reception will be, right?" Eren smiled, "Yeah. Let's pray it doesn't rain because the ceremony is going to be amazing. It'll be at sunset but we're going to have lights so the photos come out well regardless if it's overcast. Erwin...." Eren paused biting his lip as Erwin moved closer, "Yes?" Erwin waited for Eren to begin again, "I'm so excited. Are you this excited to marry Armin?"

Erwin's entire demeanor changed, his face brightened, and his eyes wrinkled at the corners, "I cannot describe the overwhelming happiness I feel. I didn't want to pressure Armin into planning or anything really since he got back. But, the other day your invitation seemed to spark his interest in planning one and I am trying my hard to keep my cool and play hard ball so as not let on just how enthused I am. He might get skittish...." Eren barked a laugh, "Oooohhh I can't wait to tell him this." Erwin's face flushed, "No, no, no.....Pleaseeeee." Eren smirked, "Mr. Smith Armin already has a pinterest board and ideas ready to go. He's been holding off because he, sweetly, wants me to have my own moment. Which I thank him for." Erwin was beyond amused and more than relieved. He questioned further, "So, you don't want us to get married right after you or....?" Eren shook his head, "Maybe wait a month. Don't interfere with my honeymoon." Eren winked, "But, y'all should do it soon so we can get on with the baby making." Erwin snorted, "Except we can't conceive so it's more like get down to making love and waiting for another option. Unfortunately, we can't get pregnant." Eren's face revealed nothing as he let Erwin's words sink in. He rolled on his back stretching, "We have....made some progress on that. Yes, we still cannot form a womb in or create life in a male but we do have a fully functional artificial womb that has now been able to host all sorts of mammals. We even have perfected a germ cell for myself, Marco, and even Armin that only needs to turn into an egg. Which we've also successfully done. And that egg only needs a sperm....which you and Levi and Jean have. And then....we could end up with a child after 40 weeks and potentially. ......possibly. ......make what was once considered Science fiction a reality and help couples everywhere come together and have children. Of course, we are aware of and considering the moral implications and limitations of it all and the potential for womb transplants is the most popular and accepted idea thus far. But between us, if only our children were made this way, be it by the womb or a surrogate, no one would ever have to be the wiser. We know that a our eggs can be fertilized and hosted in a woman with no more birth or development risks than those conceived in the so called traditional way." Eren swallowed hard after the words left his mouth. Sometimes, he was more like his father than he was exactly comfortable with. But Levi and Erwin would understand. If not them, then no one else. 

The silence stretched on and on before them as Erwin was hit with the gravity of Eren's words, "Do the children just grow in the womb.....in the lab?" Eren drummed his fingers on his stomach, "Well, the mammals we've had inside have been in their own little closet we made that has soothing sounds that mimic what they might hear in their mother's womb but for humans we've made a more secure and comforting closet that has soothing colors and sounds like a nursery." Erwin stayed still, "You've already made one for a human?" Eren swallowed, "Yes." Erwin took Eren's hand, "Does Levi know?" Eren nodded but since Erwin couldn't see him he continued, "Well, he knows we have and well, you know he's trying to not get excited about it but.....well.....I have a secret and I'm done knowing it alone." Erwin sighed, "Eren....no. I don't want to know." "Hanji has a baby in the human womb now."

Erwin nearly vomited, "I don't know if i agree with this." Eren held his hand tighter, "I know but it's done." Erwin shook as he whispered, "Whose child?" Eren shrugged, "They won't say but i don't think it's their child. It seemed important, important enough to lie about it and hide it even from Levi. When should I tell him?" Erwin's head hurt, "Why ask me? How should I know?" "Don't front me. You and Levi tell each other everything just like Armin and I. When would _you_ tell him?" "After he gets back and things settle down. Maybe a day or two and then after sex tell him. He'll be too tired to fight and not get too mad at you because he'll be overcome with hormones and love. I need to know whose kid is in there." "Armin is looking into it." "You already told Armin and you made me think I was your only confidant?" "You like to feel special. I made you feel special." "So sneaky." "I learned from Armin." "I.....can't even defend him because that's so true." Who would Hanji risk their medical license for and how was Levi going to handle this? Surely, he'd have an issue with this or.....maybe not? Erwin really started to think about how badly Levi wanted a family. He'd spoke about ever since they became close and in the cell late at night he'd weep because he was going to die and let his family go to the grave with him. Maybe if he slept on it, it wouldn't be such a jarring thing to him. Eren and Hanji seemed to have things under control and well, this would mean his lineage would also be able to pass down with Armin’s DNA, too. There would be more Smiths, more people to love, and yes, he wouldn't be so completely alone either. 


	47. Grey

  
The Jew

  
Moses, from whose loins I sprung,  
Lit by a lamp in his blood  
Ten immutable rules, a moon  
For mutable lampless men. 

  
The blonde, the bronze, the ruddy,  
With the same heaving blood,  
Keep tide to the moon of Moses.  
Then why do they sneer at me? 

The roads were black and endless as they made their way to Atlanta that morning. It was cold, so cold it promised an unseasonably chilly April. Of course, May would probably be scorching as there were no clearly defined seasons in Alabama, as stated in _To Kill A Mockingbird_. Levi turned his IPod classic on that was hooked to the aux cable in the car. He’d had it detailed before they left, small decorative air freshener hung from the mirror in the scent of refreshing mint and pine.

Armin was bundled up, tired, and nervous. Entering the mindset of a terror crazed killer again in order to prevent future attacks from The Wall in the states was going to make him go back to those six months where he’d done unspeakable things to survive long enough, long enough to kill him. _His hands on my waist._ Armin shivered at the memory while Levi watched him closely from the corner of his eye. “Nervous?” Armin rubbed his arm and shoulder trying to soothe himself, “Are you?” Levi tightened his grip on the wheel, “Of course.”

Armin cleared his throat, “What are you and Eren fighting about?” His voice was thick as he pulled at the sleeve of his apple red sweater. Levi’s eye narrowed, “He wants to separate the week before the wedding.” The trees were bare from winter as the flashed by the window, “I don’t.” Armin played with the edges of his crème colored scarf, “Do you ever feel like, sometimes, you’re not in your skin anymore? You’re wearing someone else’s?” He looked out the window at a loss for the words. Levi supplied them, voice barely above the music, “But then you realize that it’s not someone else’s but rather, your own skin just feels so foreign to you now that you don’t know how to act anymore; because, you changed on the inside. The outside doesn’t match anymore.”

Armin gave a small _hmph_ , “Exactly. Erwin and I had a fight, too.” His voice was small, almost drowned out by the music. “We decided that everything that happened is done and it’s not worth bringing up or discussing. I agreed but now…maybe there are things I should….” Levi began to sing along as they entered a surprisingly convoluted intersection.

”Threw you the obvious and you flew with it on your back,  
A name in your recollection, down among a million same.  
Difficult not to feel a little bit disappointed, and passed over  
When I've looked right through, see you naked but oblivious. “

”And you don't see me.”

Armin listened to his soothing timbre as they evaded wreck traffic and started on to the airport behind schedule. Armin pulled his small blanket from his bag in the backseat to cover himself in. He was getting emotional. Too emotional before this trip where he needed to keep his mind straight and goals clear. In the US, people were almost more at risk than anywhere else. They thought that terror attacks like 9/11 were all they had to worry about and that they were covered against them. But what would they do when their power was cut, technology useless, information used against them, and possibly worse? 

Levi waited before speaking. He thought he understood but he wanted to make sure he did before adding anything more. Another log on the fire made it harder to put out. 

”But I threw you the obvious, just to see if there's more behind the  
Eyes of a fallen angel, eyes of a tragedy.  
Here I am expecting just a little bit too much from the wounded  
But I see, see through it all, see through, see you.

'Cause I threw you the obvious, to see what occurs behind the  
Eyes of a fallen angel, eyes of a tragedy, oh well.”

”Oh well, apparently nothing.  
Apparently nothing, at all.”

“I……did horrible things. Sometimes, I catch myself….wanting to handle situations…” Armin stopped; maybe he shouldn’t be saying any of this. “When we went out to….let’s say the antique store the other week, this woman just…got to me. She was so insufferable. I got so mad. It was quick. The solution to the problem was in front of me. I wanted to shoot her dead because she annoyed me.” Armin wiped his eyes laughing tiredly, “God, if Jean heard me say that.” He laughed almost desperately again rolling his eyes and wiping his nose, “He’d wonder where Armin went.” Levi’s heart was breaking into a thousand pieces.

“David,” Levi began slowly, “was that way.” Armin perked up, “How so?” Levi’s eyes were hooded as he remembered, “He didn’t recognize me anymore. I stayed with him for a little under a month while Erwin went home. I was sick, still am.” Armin turned to look at him better, “What do you mean?” “I mean, that….it changed me like it changed you. I’m desensitized and…I’ve realized that I’ve lost my mind.” “You’ve not lost your mind.” Levi wiped his face of tears. His voice was a little panicked and vulnerable, “I used to hallucinate about you. That your ghost was around following me and it would talk to me and tell me all kinds of things and I was so scared because sometimes you were Armin and sometimes, sometimes, you’d say things, oh God….” His eyes were wide and he shook. It was clear that he had been really shaken by it, “What did I say, Levi?” 

Levi had tried to forget, “That…” He could still feel him on his body, feel the hot breath against his ear, smell him, that sweet almost putrid smell of poppies, “That you were-“ Armin finished for him, “ _The devil?_ ” Levi’s blood pulsed in his veins loudly, echoing in his ears, “Y-yes.” Armin took his hand, “Yours told me the same.” _What?_ Levi slowed the car as he pulled into the airport parking deck. _My what told him…what?_ He found them a place and turned the car off. He sat back, body heavy as he thought about Armin’s words. 

Armin held his hand tightly, staring at the dash blankly. Levi cleared his throat, “I said what to you?” Armin shrugged, “I hallucinated about you, too. You would tell me things, stuff about Eren and Erwin. Tell me how they were doing like about Eren, stuff like got a thousand likes on Instagram and Erwin was doing well on his book tour and was happy. But, sometimes….sometimes you were different. You were…really…off.” Armin looked into his eyes, “You were merciless and cruel. Sometimes you’d torture me with your suggestions and comments. I kept getting these flashes of you, face red and blotchy, standing in front of a burning pile of corpses, and you turned to shoot into them screaming.” Armin gasped taking in air, “Oh, God those were the worst. Then one night I gave in, had a full conversation with you and you leaned in pushing me on the couch while straddling me and you said so sensually, “I used to believe the devil wasn’t real. But, now I know the truth.” Your words were like a hiss and your lips were so close to mine and I could feel them and it upset me and….And I asked you what the truth was and you moved downwards and whispered against my throat, “I’m the devil.” It fell on me, those words, crushing me to the floor. I was so upset I, I just….I just stayed drunk for almost a week. Simone hid the alcohol from me but I still went on a killing spree to make myself feel better. I’m an atrocious person.” 

Levi opened his car door and then suddenly shut it again before turning in his seat to look, really look at Armin. His grey blue eyes shone in the dim light, _an electric soul,_ pinning Armin to his seat, “You’re not an atrocious person, shefeleh. You’re human. You did what you had to survive.” He swallowed, “Things like this, its war. War brings out the worst in us. It drags it out by its hair kicking and screaming out to the forefront, before our eyes it lays there in the mud, the piss, the blood. Its blood kernelling in the sand beneath the metal tread of boots and it’s holding on to a flag that doesn’t give a damn about you. All you have is your fire, your passion, your beliefs, those demons you try to leave in the sheets, because like you I seek comfort in others, physical actions often devoid of passions or love because it doesn’t matter if they love you as long as they don’t ask you what you did make yourself so hollow. You have to follow your gut, fight for your beliefs because that’s all a man has. Belief lives inside of you, deep in the inner most parts of your soul and they can’t take that away. No one can take that away. It’s like…when someone holds a gun to your head to shoot you because of what you believe or who you are. Like me, a Jew. When someone wants to shoot me or stab me because I’m a Jew. I have to laugh. It makes no sense. No fucking sense at all.” Levi gave a short breathy laugh looking around the car before returning his gave to Armin.

”When someone held a gun up to my head to shoot me because I was a Jew,” he paused leaning forward, “You know what I said to him, you know what I said, I said “It will take more than that.” And that’s true. You can kill this body, maim it, cut it, burn it, whatever you want to this body but you can’t reach inside of me and pull betwixt the air, blood, bone, and sinew my thoughts, my feelings, my memories. You can’t really force me to believe what you want me to believe or change who I am and where I came from because that’s the one place no one can get at in you. No one can touch you there. No one who doesn’t mean anything, I mean. Some people, the ones we love, they can find that place and they can reach out and-“ Levi’s eyes swam with tears, beautiful fat slate colored tears, “they can reach out and touch you in your loneliness, just a touch, a single soft touch to reach out and remind you that you’re human. It’s like reaching out into our own divinity.” His voice cracked on each word, soaring higher and higher as he reached out shakily to gently touch the side of Armin’s face. “David, did that for me after I came home. Erwin did it while we were in the barracks, while we were in the killing fields of Badschi, while we were in the ditches in Syria, in Gaza where shells fell like rain, he reached out and kept me from…from going somewhere inside myself even I would have never found… David is beloved by God and me. Erwin is also. I needed them to teach me very different things. But, I’m not good, Armin. You pushed me back over the edge, well, your ghost did.” He looked at the steering wheel fighting another wave of tears. 

Levi wiped his nose with a tissue from the consol, ”But, that period when you come home, when you’re back and you’re trying to…live again. How do you do that? How do you live after what you’ve done? I can’t….in my faith you can’t ask God for forgiveness for things like what I’ve done. Only those I’ve hurt can forgive me. I’ve killed…thousands….that can’t forgive me. I’ll never shrug that weight off. Erwin can maybe ask that Jesus dude or he can just not care. Hell, I think he absolved himself, if truth be known. Erwin doesn’t need other’s forgiveness. He just has to work it out for himself and he only does or takes risks and chances he can carry the weight of, a great gambler through and through. I don’t really think he’s cut out for that kind of help, though. He can’t….reach out when you come home, or well, when I came home, we came home, because he needed it, too. He can’t give you, us, whoever, what is needed or wanted because he can’t give what…he can’t give something that was taken from him.”

“So, Mike helped him, like David helped me, by reaching out and bringing him back to Maria and insisting on him reconnecting with the city and the old house. David was my paradise. Truthfully, he looked at me in such ways I’ll never forget but somehow he tamed that murderous person that threatened to tear me apart. He let my hands rest and put my mind to work. I came back….back to God fully when I was with him. It started in Egypt, weeks before we were kidnapped but only with David did it all come together. When I came back to Erwin I was only partially healed. He had to heal the rest and of course, that’s how we ended up the way we are. How we ended up here with you and Eren. I’m sorry, I am….tainted, broken, cursed, and I will only make those around me hurt. You’re hurt now, Armin. I’m sorry. I can’t help but feel somewhat responsible.”

Levi’s body was wracked with violent shudders and thick sobs. Armin felt like he’d been partially freed from the shackles that kept him bound in the darkness. Levi was here, Levi was there to talk to. “Levi,” he began, only for Levi to shake his head no. “We gotta go. Plane’s leaving.” Out the door he went heading to the back to fetch their carryon baggage. They packed light just like David wanted them to. 

Inside he was waiting at the terminal for them. “We’re about to be called.” David chided as they approached. He looked Levi up and down noting his disheveled appearance, “Levka, come here.” David moved to embrace Levi, covering him in his body. “You too, little one.” Armin smiled softly moving to be engulfed by the tall giant. David felt so much like Erwin it made him ache. _What are you up to daddy? I miss you. I don’t want to fight anymore._

David released them and took Armin’s things. He was always doing little things for Armin like Erwin did but David was strictly doing it because Armin was his assignment and somewhere deep inside Armin could tell he felt bad for him. Maybe this was why Levi had needed David to take care of him? Who would take care of Armin? All of this and more was the main reason Armin needed to get his shit together before they got to New York. He couldn’t work like this.

The ride on the plane was interesting. Though the flight was bare, Levi was sat next to a five year old and an eight year old whose parents were nowhere to be seen and a flight attendant was assigned to them who seemed to see Levi as the stand in parent. Levi ended up watching _Aquanauts_ with them on their tablets and discussing the life of animals under the sea. Armin and David sat behind them, amused and a little warmed by the interaction but they had a man who passed out on David and drooled on his suit. “Why are you in a suit?” David shrugged, “I guess I just always wear them so today when Mikasa laid it out I-“ Armin nearly burst, “Mikasa stayed over last night and _laid_ your clothes out for you?” Armin raised and lowered his eyebrows suggestively as David became flustered, “Y-yes she had work this morning so she came in last night. She’s working for a month at the fashion institute as a representative from the university. I didn’t see the point in her not staying at my apartment while I was gone. It was practical.” David jerked as the man shifted drooling more onto his shirt.

Armin persisted, “Soooo how is it practical?” He watched as David contemplated his answer, “Because, if she’s there my apartment won’t get that stale smell from it being shut up for a few weeks. I also had food that would have gone to waste if she didn’t eat it.” Armin rolled his eyes huffing and falling back into his chair, “That was fucking lame, David.” He patted his thighs before turning to him, “Honestly, why did you insist on her staying? Eren said you insisted.” David chewed his bottom lip, “I’d rather discuss it later. What’s wrong with you, though?” Armin wrapped his blanket around him like a protective cocoon, “Nothing.” He mumbled into the blanket. “You and Levi are hiding something. I’ll find out.” He sounded serious as he took to drinking his third glass of wine.

********************

Reagan International was, on most days, a normal hectic airport with all the regular buzz of chatter from travelers and locals returning. That day David noticed it was unusually quiet when they arrived. It was empty, shops closed, the TVs ran the same ads and their sound was cut off. Armin’s hair stood up on the back of his neck as they walked to baggage claim. Levi moved closer to his side, protective and alert like he was with Eren. Something in the airport was seriously off. 

The other passengers seemed to disappear. Many had had carry-ons meaning they weren’t picking up bags and the flight wasn’t full by any means. It seemed only a few planes had even come into the city that day by the flight board. There were a handful of people when they walked through the food court but the scurried like rats after the bought their bags of chips and waters from the machines. Armin looked around as a woman tripped running out of the bathroom, “Levi, this isn’t good.” Levi’s eyes were trained around them as David moved like a bull forward. “Stay by me.” Levi’s words were controlled but Armin was a bit offended, “I don’t need you to take care of me.”

They were to gather a bag that would be placed at the caddy by a contact and then get into two separately marked cars. David looked around the conveyer waiting for it to circle back but it didn’t. He was a patient man when it came most things in life, waiting for acceptance of hard truths, stalking his targets, and turning around Talmudic law. But, schedules, routines, set dates and times, oh no, he had no patience for a disruption in the routine. “Where,” he started lowly looking around, “is my fucking bag.” Levi gave a shocked look, “Uh oh, our fearless leader breaks.”

Armin looked to see a man pushing a cart of baggage through double doors, “What does the bag look like?” David huffed, “It’s black with an Israeli flag address holder.” Armin watched the man and then he saw it, a small swatch of blue and white. He took off running full speed, “Hey! Hey! That’s my bag!” The man sped up pushing the cart into the door before moving to the front to try and open it. Armin slammed the door shut giving him a menacing look, “Wrong choice. Give me that bag.” The man had sun spotted skin, scraggly grey white hair, his teeth yellowed and pitted with cavities, “Doesn’t matter, this bag or that bag. ‘S all the same.” He gritted out before trying to open the door again. 

Armin lost it, he exclaimed through a clenched jaw, “Mother fucker,” he shoved the cart to the side on to the man before ripping the straps off and freeing the bags. They fell to the floor, echoing in the silent airport as the man hurried to gather them back up. In seconds, Armin had the bag and was running to where Levi and David were waiting. They headed up the stairs as the man yelled, “It doesn’t matter, this one or that one. No one’s going to need them.” Armin shuddered at the words, _what was going on in the world these days?_

On the platform they appeared on at the top of the stairs David turned to unlock the side door and the exited to the pick-up area normally reserved for groups. They waited for their special taxis to come. The subway was an option but the plan was to take two marked cars to a location where they could stay the next few days in safety and connect with contacts of Levi’s. They waited nervously as the sky turned against them and rain began to fall. It was turning darker and darker despite it being around 2:00 p.m. David wiped the condensation from his brow, “This isn’t going the way I planned.” Levi shifted closer to David resting his head against the back of his arm, “Where are they?” He mumbled into his shirt, “This is shit, Achki.”

Finally, as the rain started to fall harder the two cars pulled up. The window rolled down on the first black ford fusion, “Sorry, we got delayed. There are rioters.” He waved his hand in a manner that would suggest that it was something commonplace. David looked to Armin and Levi. Levi’s face was grim; his eyes wide like an animal, “Armin rides with you in this car. I’ll take that one. Keep the case with you but not in the trunk.” David moved the case to the side, it made a gravely noise against the concrete, “Mmm ok, where to put it?” Levi t’ched, “Between Armin’s legs. Safest place for it and easiest to protect.” Armin pouted, not sure if that was a dig but the uncomfortable nervous electricity in the air made him agree to anything.

David got into the car with Armin as Levi said to. Levi made his way back to the car behind them. His black jeans sticky with rainfall and grey army jacket slick with it and tight, trapping his body heat in against the cold but adding to his discomfort. He didn’t want to get into this car. He didn’t want to be here like this. It wasn’t right at all.

They pulled away from the curb heading out to the motorway. His driver wore a baseball cap obscuring his features but otherwise he looked American and normal. All of which made Levi more suspicious. Inside the car is was clean save for an odd smell. Levi debated not buckling his seat belt, pulling the belt out further than necessary to keep it slack. His back pack sat to his side, _nothing in it that couldn’t be replaced._

He watched as the interstate passed in a blur. Devoid of its usual amount of cars he started to become more and more upset. They left the main motor way after thirty minutes of silence and straight long stretches of grey concrete gave way to black top winding roads with light to thick foliage near the curbs. It was grey, everything was grey, Levi was grey. _How I miss those viridian eyes._ His stomach turned at the thought of Eren, something he knew he would be paying for, for the coming weeks. Erwin and Eren, his two rocks were in Maria. He’d always gotten sick without Erwin but now that Eren wasn’t with him he was going to be destroyed. He almost wanted to cry but right now weakness wasn’t acceptable. No one would see him weak. He hoped his anxiety would listen.

They entered an intersection with a few more cars than the other areas, “Sir, why are there more cars now?” The driver sighed, “Oh, yeah, locals and other drivers that still risk the streets will be out till it gets dark. No one goes out at night anymore.” Armin pulled his jacket up and his bag more on his shoulder, “What’s going on in D.C.?” The driver was quiet for a long moment, “Sir, did you-“ Armin trailed off as the driver’s face was animated in outrage and shock, “What the fuck is he doing?!” The car lurched to a stop as David and Armin turned around to look out the back window. David jerked as he saw Levi’s car veer off the road onto another side road. Armin yelled in frustration before slamming his hand on the head rest in front of him, “STOP THE FUCKING CAR!” The driver stopped as Armin unbuckled, “MOVE THE FUCK OVER!” The man heeded him, noting the insane look on who had considered the weak link of the group, _This guy is fucking insane._

Armin slid into the driver seat, putting the car into reverse and spinning around. Slamming it into drive he took off making the sharp right onto the side road and quickly overcoming the second car that was dangerously moving into the other lane like a wicked cobra’s oscillation. Armin saw there were possible openings up the road so he floored it passing them on the other lane to keep those openings cut off from the driver. The winding road of the residential area was becoming more and more narrow and dangerous as they started to gradually climb higher and higher. Wherever they were going it was above sea level and would have cliffs and edges that Armin needed to have plans ready for.

Inside the car Levi was struggling with the driver. He had tried to place the smell, _Luminal? No…carpet cleaner?_ Upon further investigation he noticed scratches on the plastic low on the door. Levi knew they could be from anything but when he followed them up he saw the truth written in red by the opening where the window could descended. Red blotches of the tops of fingers that had slid, nay been drug down the door. _This isn’t the real driver._ That’s what had began it all, that and his sudden jerk of the car to the left. 

They had already fought as much as they could in the space but Levi was at his mercy. He could wreck the car at any moment. Levi removed his mossy green scarf Eren had made him, looping it around the driver’s throat. His goal was to choke him out but he had a gun that had had removed from his jacket pocket. How had Levi not noticed? _DAMN IT!_ Levi kicked his leg between the consol trying to keep his wrist trapped and hopefully knock the gun to the floor board. The struggle was intense and seemingly endless. 

For Levi, the next few seconds felt like years. He saw the other car on the driver’s side, he saw the flash of rock, the swatch of grey sky, _I am grey, I have always been grey_ and then the swirl of different shades of greens. His stomach dropped like it did on those roller coasters he hates, his body slammed back into his seat like the time he’d gone in a G force simulator, the seat belt was so tight it chocked him after knocking the breath out of him when it snapped back and locked, his whole life flashed before him in a blinding array of technicolor dreams, failures, and hopes. At the end of it, his first thought was of Eren. His second one was simply: Shit.


	48. adh-Dhi'ban Lives

  
“Instead of escaping the soul-killing mechanism of modern technological society, they learned that the tyranny of technology ruled even more omnipotently in war than in peacetime. The men who through daring chivalry had hoped to rescue their spiritual selves from the domination of material and technical forces discovered that in the modern war of material the triumph of the machine over the individual is carried to its most extreme form.”- Ernst Toller  


In the safe house David opened the suitcase on the bed counting out the guns, the ammo, the papers. He counted the envelope of cash, $50,000. His head hurt, his shirt was ruined and currently missing. He changed into a pair of faded jeans, black v-neck cotton t-shirt, and a dark brown leather jacket where he placed some of the money and his pistol in a inner hidden pocket. He felt like Marco and his gangster father, or maybe one of the brave souls who had investigated the terrorists in the Munich Olympics attack. Either way, he was pretty tired. David was done with the bullshit going on in D.C.. He looked out the window to see two women hugging their hoods down over their heads and a few men running as fast as they could to the waiting buildings. When the sun went down no one was safe. 

Armin had everything including propaganda, counter-counter propaganda, in his bag he’d given David to look over. Their plan was to wait and see where the cell was most actively engaged, infiltrate a meeting, and well, so much more it made David’s head spin. Erwin and Armin had put so much thought into every possibility that could happen they had more than they needed. Sometimes more was a bad thing. He doubted they’d use any of this but it was reassuring to have it nearby. A glimpse into the mind of two insanely intelligent and resourceful men gave David chills. Areas where Erwin’s hand had been heaviest proved that he could have ruled the world if he’d joined Abulafia.

He held up a card of Jean’s making, “Révolution, je t’aime,” a man kissing the guillotine as his eyes were covered with the white cloth and the executioner stood behind and ready. The executioner was a religious radical and the crowed was comprised of other religious zealots pulling off their individual monikers discreetly so as not to be the next victim. For when one religion is given preference, others will suffer. David enjoyed living in Israel where he was prominently among those of his faith. It felt good, it felt like coming home and all of those other clichés that Jews had used over and over again. But, he also loved that his closest friends who were Christian were able to practice freely and live well alongside him. _Another reasons we’re not an Apartheid…_ He grumbled internally before drinking a bottle of water, reportedly, the water wasn’t safe anymore.

David returned to card and away from the blatant paranoia that the planted stories had created. Eren was clearly his inspiration for the man but there in the background they all were in some ways. Inspired in the features and haircuts and body shapes. Jean was beyond talented and more than willing to help. David closed his eyes, exhaling silently to calm the extreme anger and worry he’d had, _Mikasa would be getting back to the apartment by now. She liked to watch Vanderpump Rules on Mondays. I think that show is ridiculous. I wonder if she got the flowers….I wonder if she’s safe…_ He wanted to finish this and see her.

*******************

Levi’s face was cut up along with various other parts of his body. He hissed as the cotton swab of alcohol was applied, “Hushhh, It’ll pass.” Armin’s voice was motherly and caring. He hovered over him protectively. Levi watched as the small tip of his pink tongue peeked through his lips as he worked on not hurting Levi anymore than necessary. Levi found himself daydreaming, Armin was truly intoxicating, in his own way.

Levi leaned into Armin who put the kit away bandaging the last bit on his hands where the glass had cut him badly. The driver wanted to go off the cliff in the curve of the road but Armin had used their car to bump him back away from it. That caused the driver to over correct and go off the side of the road, still a steep decline, but the chances of survival were better. At least, he half gambled they were. Armin had done it with a heavy heart and not in his normal mind. He had simply let the second wolf take control. It was too easy for comfort.

Levi's car went down the side of the cliff hitting smaller trees and branches slowing its momentum down before wedging between two large and substantial trees. He opened his eyes, curling in on himself as he watched metal and fabric come closer and closer. This sudden impact killed the driver instantly, the windshield had broken cutting this with small shards, the car crumpled in but Levi had moved his legs up and the back seat was safer in this sort of accident but none the less dangerous. Levi understood that one breath is all it took and he’d be at bottom of a ravine for runoff in seconds.

He'd been left suspended in the car looking down at more rows of life threatening trees and now substantial rocks. He reached in his bag ever so slowly, as the car continued to lurch slightly forward, pulling out a flashlight he then used to break out the window. That was the easy part. Getting out was now where he’d be most vulnerable. The doors were useless and disturbing the car could have unwanted consequences. Levi unbuckled himself as the car slowly lurched forward again actually shifting to push up grass and mud on the bank side beneath the tires. Levi could hear David yelling.

With his back pack slung around his shoulder for extra weight he wiggled his way out the window cutting himself deeply on the glass he was unable to clear and jagged metal the trees had left exposed. He tumbled out just in time as the car lurched forward one last time, _the dying call of the last human animal in existence_ , and dove into the trees and rocks with a sense of utter fatality. He was left on the slopped ground where he grabbed large fists full of grass to help him not slide down into that hellish abyss. That's how he proceeded up the steep incline, hands full of long grass and mind flashing with urgency. He'd not widow Eren this early. David had pulled him up over the guard rail, face flushed and brow sweaty, “Achki, I will not say kaddish for you, ever! You will say it for me. Not the other way around.” Armin stared from the car, eyes bright and indiscernible of meaning, “I had to.” Levi grunted, “I know.”

Now they we're at the safe house, a different one than they were supposed to be at. The driver said the other one was now compromised due to the other driver being killed. Perhaps, he'd offered the information to save his life, or at least to try to? No one could know for sure. Now they were here in the old slums that affluent gay couples had started to revive with well earned money and in spite of hate from those around them. Let the city burn, as they say.

Currently, his inner weakness was bringing out the worst in him. Something about Armin made him feel like Erwin but with a certain hint of excitement. His smell was delicious. Levi leaned forward, allowing himself to give in to his own want, resting his head on Armin's stomach, "I can't die." Armin's hands carded through his undercut, he snorted, "Lucky you." Levi gave into another moment of weakness wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him close, Armin let out a small exclamation of surprise but didn’t move away, "No," he murmured into Armin's jacket, "I can't die and leave Eren." Armin's eyes closed, "Yeah, I know the feeling. Erwin and Eren are always my first thoughts." His words were raspy and Levi turned his head up, "They've made us soft." Armin shook his head, "They've made us _strong._ But, I say that and yet I know I've made Erwin weak. Eren seems better off because of you. But, I have to live with that, how weak I've made Erwin."

Levi inhaled deeply, appreciating the soothing smell of Armin. “He’s…..you’re right. He’s totally helpless without you. He was always the strongest, the leader, commander, but when he was with me I knew I could have anything I wanted. If he likes someone, loves them, he’ll set himself on fire to please them. Your every whim, your every wish, you every desire he bends to meet it because he values you and your love would validate him if you deemed him worthy to invest it in.” Armin snickered, “Wow, I never knew.” He smiled to himself, “Oh, how good that power feels.” But he wasn’t being that serious, it actually made him hopeful and warm. He always doubted his place in the lives of others. 

David appeared in the doorway, “We’ve got things to plan.” He took in the sight of Levi and Armin before turning away, “Don’t get your gay everywhere.” He said it so nonchalantly that Armin and Levi were momentarily stunned, “Did..did,” Armin drawled out, “David just burn us?” Levi started to chuckled, “He did. He made a joke, shit.” Armin leaned down kissing lightly the top of Levi’s hair, “Don’t get hurt, Velvel. It will make me cry.” The sudden display of emotion caught him off guard. Armin was there for him when he was deaf and mute, he was there for him to lash out at when Eren or Erwin wasn’t there and he definitely kept him on his toes when it came to discussing morality. Erwin was his golden boy but Armin might just be soon his main rival. Levi moved to stand, he considered becoming emotionally open with him but his defensive sardonic-self won out, “T’ch what a shame. You’re pretty when you cry.”

****************************

Almost a week later the three sat in the public library researching the local academics involved in the movement. Well, they looked like they were researching. The grunt work was already done and they noted a few familiar faces from online chat groups who’d skyped together preaching words of revolution and blood. The Wall offered intellectuals the opportunity to become involved without any blood on their hands. The other cells were the soldiers like the one Armin had wiped out. They felt like they were achieving the higher ideals of a socialist society with no war and unity, a distorted John Lennon _Imagine_ dystopia in David’s opinion, David was a big John Lennon fan, something that delighted Armin, all while the necessary purging of those who didn’t meet the eugenic and religious guidelines were eliminated. Funny how genocide is seen by so called intellectuals as sometimes often _necessary_ in the right _context_. Armin was disgusted and so was Levi. David merely saw this as a righteous task at thwarting evil. 

Levi’s contact Michael had said that most sympathizers were in the library on the fourth floor. Michael owned a coffee shop with a back door where others came in and out and sometimes those others had loose lips. Armin’s hair parted down the back revealing his thin white neck. It’s delicacy made Levi, who had stood behind him silently watching for David, lick his lips. He was somewhat upset at the pooling of warmth in his lower stomach this sweet little neck had evoked in him, so similar to when he caught glances of Eren’s long tan legs, shaven, and moving between their white sheets. He thought it unfair. Levi leaned carefully over Armin who typed away at the computer looking for keywords on the chat rooms, a gathering was happening sometime soon and that’s how they would get to the hackers, noting the change in Armin’s posture as he leaned back towards him.

Levi leaned down over his shoulder, his minty breath cool on Armin’s neck tickling the hairs. Armin turned slightly, catching a glimpse of Levi’s parted pale pink lips and defined jaw. His inky hair obscured his eyes and his muscular chest was heavy on his back. Armin drew a labored breath in, “You’re so fuckin hot, Levi, damn.” Levi chuckled darkly, sending shivers down Armin’s spine, “So Eren often tells me.” He moved closer to his ear, “Do I make you weak in the knees, mami? (darling/baby)” He bent closer as Armin scribbled an address down. Armin seemed unfazed disappointing Levi. “I bet I could make you wet.” Armin smiled devilishly, “Erwin already does that. Perhaps, you could offer me something else?” The playful lit in his voice sparked the old nostalgia, _back in those barracks when I would lean over one of them, take their money, suck them off, make more money, dance for their money, fuck them, Armin….Armin why weren’t you there?_ Before he could get away with the feeling David appeared, “Well, there are a lot of Marxists here.” He signed dramatically, “I could have gone a life time without the argument I just had about Marx and Mao.” He laid a book down on the counter. It was just one he picked up for show. “This is horrid.” Armin burst into laughter, “They’ll be so sad when they find out they disappointed God’s beloved.” 

Armin was about to say something else when the lights went out. All power in the city was lost and a hush fell over the students in the crowded building with its open air atrium. It was around eight at night, the streets were much fuller in the city center. _The beginning,_ Armin thought as he felt around for Levi’s arm. The machines turned back on but the backup lights were still down. On the computers, the billboards outside, everywhere in the D.C. area flashed the same into: Welcome to the Wall. 

  
We are the Wall, a multi ethnic, multi cultural, leftist, and liberal organization that believes that a change is needed to save this sick world. America is where we want that change to begin. You have the next Gulf War knocking at your door, government spending is out of control, and citizens are being spied on by other civilians. We see these as signs, along with a dying economy based on the unsustainable capitalistic ideals and the continued blatant demoralization of true faith and religion, as a cry for help. We’re here to help. We’re here to change the world by creating a new society where everyone is equal; sexism and racism are not tolerated like in your country where systematic racism and sexism is encouraged and embedded in the very foundation of your government and judiciary system. For instance: women, unlike in most countries, are seen as uniquely important members that play special roles in our movement. We believe in a classless system; under one flag, one faith, one belief, and the basic rights of man. We are the Wall, strong and protective. We will not fail you but if you should fight against us we will trap you and crush you.

The video then began showing popular clips of today’s most inciting incidents: young black men being shot, violence against women, burning flags, attacks against innocent families in the traditional sense and some gay couples which made Armin snort. They had tolerated that he had been with Erwin romantically but they were disgusted and actively chose to see it as simply duty to recruit him and took his marriage to Simone as gospel. The video shifted then. 

It showed documents pointing to members of the senate taking bribes, owning third homes, of course, it incited further with comparisons of the past. Hitler and MLK side by side in a narrative of horror. Radical Islamic ideography and throwbacks where there, something that delighted a handful of the Muslim students in the library and as Armin noted, caused lines of worry to crease the face of others. Secular Muslims would know, they would see it for what it was. They didn’t support ISIS and the Wall was a supporter of them as a brother organization and acting auxiliary. They didn’t support Shariah law, especially since most probably came from immigrant families fleeing Iran and other countries so they could practice their faith in their own way. This was a danger to even them, for it was known that they would be seen as “improper” or “untrue” Muslims. Levi was following the same train of thought, thinking of the Iraqis and Iranians he’d been forced to shoot for the most insane reasons.

Armin moved and the others followed. They needed to get to that meeting and blend in to discover what the next physical attack would be like. Armin knew that after his betrayal they may have taken safeguards against him but then again they may think him dead. He wasn’t sure and David hadn’t heard much talk about The Two Wolves among the channels. Into the streets they poured with others who were standing idly or trying to contact loved ones. The emergency power was back on at many places and they dispersed themselves among the people till they arrived at their destination, _The Museum of Modern Art._

***********************

An art house was just the place for one of these meeting. New recruits were brought in by current members to be indoctrinated and impressed. Levi and David were layered in black and grey while Armin wore sapphire and pink. He looked like he fit at this meeting much more than the others, something that didn’t go unnoticed. A man approached him, his short dirty blond hair, wide set brown eyes, tall and lean frame set him apart from the others. He was striking to look at. Upon first glance he wasn’t attractive, not in the conventional sense, but there was something there that lingered. He stepped forward sluggishly, perhaps a perpetual drunkard or one of those people we all met in life that their personality was inebriation, “The Two Wolves lives.” He smiled, charmingly, sipping his glass of champagne. Armin’s blood ran cold and then like the twentieth movement of _Swan Lake_ his skin prickled and bulged with his growing plumage of slate black feathers. He stepped back over into that role, he’d finish this movement out even if it meant death.

“Barely.” His eyes narrowed and mouth held coyly. Levi and David noted the difference, lower register in his voice, gruffer, more masculine, and commanding. The man nodded, “You’re in charge then. Rightfully, that is.” He peeked through his long lashes, “But, I doubt the guy in charge will hear of it.” Armin gave him a questioning look expecting him to continue, the rank was clear here, “I’m Sebastian, by the way. I’m just a party member.” He shrugged sloshing his drink around rolling his eyes. A party member was someone more on the political side of the organization. They were less religious zealot and more let’s dispose monarchs. Armin knew someone who was willing to please and the weak link when he saw them, “Who leads now?” Sebastian smirked, “One Eye.” Armin didn’t like that, “From Denmark? He leads from there? That unlearned brute.” Armin rolled his eyes before spitting on the floor, “What a weak piece of shit.”

Sebastian laughed, throwing his head back, “Oh, you’re everything we heard about. I used to follow the chat updates about you like a kid on Sunday who reads the comics.” He turned around waving over a girl who wore a distasteful red dress, in Armin’s opinion. “Crystal, come over here. The Two Wolves lives.” The room went silent; people stared in the gallery from around statues to catch a glimpse of the infamous Two Wolves. Levi and David were aware that this could be very, very bad for them. Armin held his head high, cocky and unfazed, “Hello, maggots.”His voice rang thick in the middle like a deep cord note of a perfume. He nodded as many moved to gather around like he was the finest piece of art work they’d ever seen. Levi’s hand fell to his concealed weapon as did David’s. Sebastian stepped back wrapping an arm around the long haired blonde crystal before she started clapping.

One lone clap turned into a chorus as the room gathered to gaze upon him, “A hero of the revolution!” “The leader we’ve been waiting for!” “How handsome he is!” “Lead us!” Armin preened in front of the mob and Levi couldn’t help but marvel, _this is just so Erwin Smith. Armin Arlert, you will lay me in the ground._

*************************

After a few hours it became clear that the One Eye wasn’t a favorite among the hackers or the cell in America. He was unrefined and focused more on the religious aspects of the revolution that many didn’t care for. Like Armin had noted, they cared very little to discus or even attack the gaping holes in their movement. How could these socialist paradise lovers think that radical religious zealots were going to allow them equality under an ancient biased brutal law? The homosexual couples, the women, the disabled? Had they not seen that ISIS was now killing handicapped children and adults? Levi had been forced to do that. It had happened before in other genocides. Nothing made sense if it was really broken down and that’s what they simply refused to do. That would interfere with their wine and discussions.

They were a more RAF sort of bunch, laid back, free love, urban warfare, and classical music. Armin’s mind shone as he was asked questions and the deeper he got into character the more a plan started to shape from their own basic one. He developed a cult following of at least 150 in that room alone. It became clear to Levi and David that Armin could have, if he’d wanted to, destroyed them if he’d stayed with Abulafia. They’d have had no way of fighting this cult of the leader complex nor the versatility that he brought to strategy. Levi realized Erwin would have followed him, out of love. Erwin would have come and he’d have been exploited because he loved Armin that much. It was scary to think of. Almost as scary as the effect he had on Levi himself. Levi found himself listening more and more to his words almost in a trance. David found himself inspired to take up the good fight and fully engage in the plan being formed. It was disturbing to both men.

The next few days they would stir up the police with planted taunts and incite more riots by planting outrageous stories of fictional people being exploited. The goal was to make everyone suspicious of each other. Because, as was the basis of terrorism, psychological unsettlement was the key to controlling the masses. The group of party members here wanted to take the white house. Armin listened, even though he thought it foolish. He gave his input as Levi sat near figuring out from the second meanings of his words what their plan of action would be. Armin was given full access to all the inner workings of the cell save for an area still under One Eye’s command by the helpful almost fan girl that was Sebastian. Once they left they’d never felt better about completing their task but they knew there would be blood on their hands.


	49. Clean

  
“The revolution is like a vessel filled with the pulsating, heartbeat of millions of working people.”- Ernst Toller  


The streets were crowded in the early snowy night. People were screaming, signs of protesters held high in the bright almost jarring construction zone street lights brought in to illuminate the area. The White House lawn was covered in personnel in black suites and riot gear. Cries out against the increasing tensions in the Middle East were loud and poignant, the war in the Gulf so reminiscent of times before. It was like looking into the past back to Berlin in 1974 and it awed Levi who stood looking at buildings with banners draped column to column. This wasn’t the first protest here, nor would it be that last. But, it was 56th one in last three months thanks to cell here. He got in the car and they were off. 

Next to him David wore the riot gear of the police as he drove to the underground parking deck. Levi sat with his helmet in his lap and Armin already wore his. He said it got him prepared. The goal was to watch the group move according the One Eye’s plan to gain insight into how he works. Armin had encouraged them to follow through with everything he told them, even if he’d added his own instructions in order to stack the deck for his own purposes. A few members revealed that, yes, the hackers were located in New York but Sebastian gave him the passwords and information about where One Eye was located. Armin had been oddly silent these few days, though. He spent time speaking with Marco’s contact Jurek. He had his men in mind that needed to be taken out and David had gladly memorized them when their pictures and stats were laid on the Shabbat table. Levi let Armin say the prayers, pleased that they seemed to breathe a bit of the old Armin back into him. They entered the garage on that note and he asked for HaShem’s protection while looking at a photo of Eren on his phone.

Once in the garage the others were gathered around the back of an old BMW station wagon suited up with their helmets off. As they stepped out of the car they heard them all discussing and proclaiming excitedly various inciting things. “The goal is to stage a martyrdom. We need to kill students, young folks, you know!” “Make them not trust the police more and then they’ll follow the lead of the protesters we placed to lead the wave over the fence at the White House.” “We know the president hasn’t left yet. Maybe he’ll pull a Nixon in the 70s and show up at the Lincoln memorial, huh?” One over enthused participants said hurriedly finishing off his bottle of sparkling water. Armin’s gait commanded attention as he walked forward, “Let’s kill some pigs, capitalists, and Jews. They’re not worthy of life anyway.” Levi and David’s throats clenched. “Yeah!” Was the chorus around them. The rhetoric started again, “Their warped sense of democracy is a thorn in the eye of progression.” “Israel is shit! They’re nothing but an apartheid regime committing genocide against innocents!” The group roared with excitement as Armin was patted on the back and treated like a king.

Levi didn’t even have time to explain just how many fallacies that last sentence contained. Not to mention David who at any mention of the word _apartheid_ raged because he’d seen apartheid, he’d lived through it traveling back and forth visiting small Jewish congregations and then when he was stationed where it’s remnants still survived. Democracy and capitalism seemed to be synonymous with Jews and murder. _What a crock of shit,_ Levi thought. He had to watch his actions and facial expressions. David and Levi were protected by the assumed good judgment of the Two Wolves. They put their helmets on. The black plastic heavy and isolating, it suffocated him.

**************************

The lights were even brighter when they took their places. The crowd that comprised of Black Lives Matter, Feminists, concerned citizens, veterans, and more was a statement unto itself. When people were truly motivated anything could happen. _It’s just upsetting that it can be so easily manipulated,_ David thought as he considered the mass in front of them who cared, deeply cared, about their country. ”Citizens have a right to privacy!” “No government can function properly if they distrust their own people!” “WILL YOU PUT US IN CAMPS AGAIN LIKE YOU DID THE JAPANESE? THAT’S WHAT DISTRUST BASED IN PARANOIA GIVES YOU!” “Where’s your second home, Senator? Mine belongs to the bank!” “FOUR YEARS OF SHIT!” “POLIZEI GIBT ES ÜBERALL! GERECHTIGKEIT NIRGENDWO!” (Police are everywhere, justice nowhere) “KILL THE PRESIDENT! HANG THE CAPITALISTS!” “Break up big banks, return control to the people!” 

Inside the space between the White House fence and the picket line the soldiers and police lined up forming a mass of flesh and bone that would protect the president and serve as a symbol that the people were strong but the country stronger. David heard the echo of his breathing inside the helmet, so dark, so off putting. He hated riot gear, hated it because it constrained him and hindered his senses, and hated it because he’d been on the other side with it used against him. David closed his eyes, _Mikasa’s feet probably hurt right now from wearing heels all day. I really love how she looks in them but I hate that they hurt her. Can’t we make a shoe that doesn’t hurt? Is that even possible? Maybe I should look into that with Levi. He can tell me about the anatomy of the foot better. I wonder if she’ll keep her hair short?”_ Mikasa was his island when the screaming in his head got too loud. 

They stood for almost two hours while standing up verbal insults and glass bottles falling on them from the sky. Spit, bottled piss, food, rocks, and more littered the area around their feet. That deafening sound in his ears began again. Something like a nervous tick, a remnant from PTSD his therapist said, started as he saw the mass move forward and the tear gas released into them. Many pulled wet clothes over the faces and threw the cans back, echoing off the metal and plastic shields. It was like fighting on the West Bank in 2005 or in operation Protective Edge. He was having flashbacks to Ethiopia where he pulled out the last Jews he could before many were shot down en masses. His stomach turned, he felt himself harden under the pressure again. He tried desperately to remember the sweet smell of Mikasa’s hair. _Finish this case and maybe he could retire? That would be nice. Desk jobs in Israel or here in the States with Levi._

It started with the flash of a red flair, from where it came nobody cared. The entire mass of police and soldiers lurched forward like a defensive animal and over the concrete riot barriers the flooded the space breaking into the small buffer into the arms of people with batons held high and shields out to ambush. The streets ran with blood. Rubber bullets replaced with real ones tore through sweaters and pea coats, double breasted made of thick wool. The screams of innocent people as they fell and were trampled pierced through the soundproofed helmets and they evoked age old awareness that life was only as precious as it was easy to take. People cried out murder, murders, pigs, beasts, and asylum as some ran towards an old church where they were ripped off the steps and pulled back onto the pavement to be bashed again under the watchful and mournful gaze of the Virgin Mary and her fellow engraved saints on the doorway. 

A woman on the ground curled into a ball as she was beaten with the butts of rifles. A man shot in the back of the head fell down as a woman reached out to try and stop the bleeding screaming medic like on the battle field. Armin moved forward following the path to where they’d all end up. Where he had made them agree to end up. He kicked at a man clutching his ankle as he pushed through the mass. The wolf of misanthropy was out to play and he’d not tally nor be delayed.

David broke away, looking for his targets with Levi hot on his heels. They were to find those planted who’d lead the surge over the fence and get rid of them quickly without anyone noticing. They had to play this a certain way and do it well so they didn’t attract suspicion from either side, protester or party member. David saw the first three. They knew him and therefore didn’t expect him to turn the barrel of his gun them leveling them. Levi shot the next two and then they moved the bodies to the side for later cleanup. Two more were still missing so they took a chance and blew their whistle; a sign Armin had them all agree on for distress. It worked flawlessly, as to be expected from Armin’s beautiful mind. One of the two approached Levi while the other came from behind carrying a sign. 

He watched as Levi shot the first one and before the one with the sign could run or scream David shot him as well moving forward to gather the body. Now with all protestors dead they went back to their original plan. Levi eyed the planted van not far from them. He needed to load the bodies up and meet Armin quickly. No one could be found from the group. He’d make it so they never existed and that meant there wouldn’t be any Meinhof conspiracies theorists to make up compelling narratives and use them like martyrs. 

Running over to the van, he pulled the key out from underneath the tire and opened the back door. David drug the first of the bodies over after slipping on his Red Cross badge that Levi had given him. He started piling the bodies in the back and then Levi was there. He helped move the last of them before slamming the door shut and climbing into the cab. In the chaos and thanks to the somewhat secluded location the group had picked to enter the protesters and stay out of the spray of bullets they could easily slip away in van down a side street, well as easy as they could given they were now near a crime scene. Levi and David shrugged off their uniforms and wiped blood on their face and clothes underneath, if stopped they’d say they were trying to get out and get to the hospital. 

Levi and David started off down the street running through blockades in the bulky van. They entered the main street heading towards DuPont square where they’d wait for Armin to finish his end of the deal. Right now, they hoped to make it there in time and that no one would stop them. This leg of the trip was almost over.

**************************

Armin trod carefully into the ally. His gun slung carelessly at his side, the clicks echoing off the brick buildings wet with sleet and dirty snow. He watched as the others laughed and congratulated each other for starting what they thought would be a critical point in turning the American people against their government. True, Armin had been helpless to stop the loss of innocent lives today but they’d be sure to make it so that no one found out that the Wall was behind it. “It’s the Two Wolves! Our fearless leader!” He continued walking as Sebastian removed his helmet. Armin popped up the shield before removing his helmet to fall to his feet, :Sebastian,” his words echoed with white hot fire, “I just wanted to thank you.” Sebastian smiled, “For what? This was only possible because of you.” He motioned almost drunkenly around the alleyway, “Once we storm the White House everything else will fall into place. A Marxist dream is about to be born, a new world and the right kind of individuals are going to inherit it.” Armin shook his head smirking to himself.

His eyes were full of mirth as he started to laugh manically, ““The freedom I have retained by pure chance obligates me to speak for those who no longer can.” Do you know who said that?” Sebastian looked coyly at him, “No, I don’t.” Armin stalked forward well aware of the eyes on him, “Ann Funder in her book “All that I Am.” She survived the Nazi regime and because of that she wrote about the things she saw and experienced, you know, for those you didn’t survive. In a way, that’s very appropriate here because this is history, what we’re experiencing right now. Tonight is history. And, Sebastian, you know what is so important about history?” He waited but got no response, “It repeats itself. It always does and it plays out the same way every time.” 

Sebastian took a step back his eyes no longer held that drunken film they normally did, “I don’t follow.” Armin laughed more before shrugging, “Oh, no, not in the small ways but the bigger themes. Like, let’s kill all the Jews and let’s create a communist paradise. That shit never works, Sebby. Never. If you think what you’ve done, what you’ve accomplished,” Armin made air quotations around the word smirking, “is any different from the pathetic wasteful useless attempts beforehand then I say you’re the biggest fool I’ve ever met.” Stunned silence pervaded the alleyway, “But, Sebby, that’s not what made you the biggest fool in my book.” 

Armin looked down rocking back and forth on his heels before capturing Sebastian’s eyes. His lips turned into a lopsided smile that oozed malice and sadism. _This is the devil, the devil is alive._ “Wh-what was it?” He ventured, watching Armin smile even more disturbingly. “It was when you gave me all the information, codes, and clearances for this cell and the other ones.”

Armin flipped his gun up in the same split second he watched as Sebastian’s pupils dilated with fear. He cocked the gun and noticed the small stain from urine around his crotch, he started to put pressure on the trigger when he saw the others lower themselves ready to run, and then he shot them all. He sprayed hellfire and retribution on them and he did it with sick satisfaction. _I don’t even know who I am anymore. I wasted so much time. I wasted all that time. I wasted everything. Six months of my life for what, for what, for what, for what, for him. FOR HIM, FOR HIM, FOR HIM, FOR HIM, IT DOESN’T EVEN MATTER ANYMORE BECAUSE IT NEVER MATTERED NOTHING MATTERS NOTHING ELSE MATTERS BUT THIS. THIS MATTERS BECAUSE IT, IT, IT, IT, IT, IT, IT, FEELS GOOD._

There were no more bullets left to shoot. Armin just stared ahead, gun hot and creating steam in the cold night. He was lost, so utterly lost inside of himself collapsing under all the things he’d repressed and didn’t want to talk about not with Erwin, not to Erwin, he could never know. He could never see him like that, oh God, so weak so useless. He could never know what happened. He’d not want him. He’d never want him. He was so wrong about it, what good had he done? What good would he do for anyone now that they know, now that he knows, what was it for?

A hand, strong and warm on his shoulder, “Give me the gun, little one.” _David._ Armin dropped the gun, he shook, his voice sounded so distant and pathetic as he heard it come out of his mouth, _out of bullets._ “I-I-I-I r-ra-ran oout-t o-o-o-fff” David took Armin into his arms, “Shussshhh shuuushhh, yeah, I know. I see. It’s okay, though, You’re okay and we’re okay. Come on, why don’t you let me take you to the car?” David carried Armin who was still stuttering and shaking to the car. The more he stuttered the more aggravated he got, he jerked uncomfortably and he panicked. David set Levi to performing the task of carrying the bodies into the car as he took Armin into his arms again. “It’sssss oo-o-nn mmmy ha-ha-ndss.” Armin wept, sobbing and wringing his hands, _what the fuck is wrong with me. Oh God, oh God, ooooooooooooohhhh_ David took his hands in his own larger ones massaging them, “It’s fine, we’ll just clean them off.”

David rubbed his hands thoroughly, rubbed them with his own, his scarf, then on his jacket. He scrubbed them in front of Armin despite there being no real soap of water. He just acted like there was. He did it for Armin’s mind, he did it to save it. Armin started to huff more and he still stuttered but something was working. David cooed, “Is that better? They’re better now. Almost all gone.” Armin shook his head _no_ getting more upset. He kissed the tips of his fingers wetting them slightly and he started sucking on each finger, licking his palms, before rubbing them again. Perhaps, Armin needed the actual stimulation that he was cleaning them with something. 

It seemed to do the trick, calming Armin back to state he could work with better. As Armin’s breaths started to calm David held his hands in his, “Better? They’re fine. Nothing is on them, they’re all clean. We cleaned them, little one. Okay?” Armin shook his head okay as David made him move over into the middle seat of the van. Armin clutched on to him as David wrapped his arm around him protectively letting him sob into his side. Levi loaded the bodies, slamming the doors shut and got inside, his eyes wide and his body aching because he wanted to know what was wrong with Armin. He wanted to _reach out and touch him_ but he wasn’t sure that his method would be how to do so.

They spent the next few hours on the river, destroying bodies with acid and other means. They had their things placed in a safe car that was sent to their location for them to get in and then head to New York. On the way, they stopped at another safe house. It had another group, some Japanese agents who drank and listened to bad pop songs. David joined them, slipping into a tongue he seldom was able to use and that was the last they saw of him that night. Armin’s tears had soaked his resolve and made the voices louder. _Mikasa_ was his mantra as he turned up the bottle. Levi rolled their Murphy bed out of the wall cringing at the dirt. He put clean sheets on it, set to tidying the rest of the room and then with the cleaning materials in the closet of the hallway he cleaned the bathroom.

Armin sat on the Murphy bed, a hollow shell. He was rubbing his hands and scrubbing them together, the skin getting raw and Levi couldn’t handle it. He dropped to his knees taking them in his own, “You need to get clean, right? You want to be clean?” Armin had stayed head down; he starred into nothing in his lap. At Levi’s words he looked up, mouth parted, eyes glassy and vague, “Yeah, I just want to be clean.” Levi pulled him off the bed and to the shower where he washed him like a child before hastily washing himself. He clothed him in one of David’s clean shirts and put him in the bed before heading to the laundry room to do their clothes. They would stay for a day or two, planning and deciding on their next moves. 

When Levi returned to the room with freshly washed and dried clothes he laid down next to Armin. Armin woke up, he moved close to Levi who hadn’t really expected that and watched him carefully. Armin’s nose was runny and his eyes bloodshot, “Levi?” The way he said his name thrummed like a harp’s cord inside of his soul, harkening back to the old tribe of Levi whose members were musicians for the temple. “Yes?” Armin was still for a while, “He….” Levi turned, pulling him close with his arms around him like he had while on the toilet after his wreck, “He?” Armin shook his head, “Never mind. I’ll just never be clean.” Levi’s heart broke as he heard the pitiful tone, “You’ll be clean again, Armin. We’ll make you clean again.”


	50. Hurt me, "Is this Love?"

  
Nun liebe Kinder gebt fein acht  
Ich bin die Stimme aus dem Kissen  
Ich hab euch etwas mitgebracht  
Hab es aus meiner Brust gerissen  
Mit diesem Herz hab ich die Macht  
Die Augenlider zu erpressen  
Ich singe bis der Tag erwacht  
Ein heller Schein am Firmament  
Mein Herz brennt  


New York wasn't really what Armin had expected. Sure, there was a lot to do and a lot to see but honestly he'd had much more fun with Erwin in Europe. The dream to move to the big apple had never been one of his and the seedy streets held no allure to change that. The Jewish district was now a product gentrification and rent control. Hip city couples and strange orthodox fashionistas littered the sidewalk. Levi took them to a newly renovated building climbing the stairs all the way to a top floor apartment with an okay view of the sky and an elderly couple eating dinner across the street.

The name plate still read Kenny Ackermann and a mezuzah was covered in dust on the side post of the doorframe. David kissed it and Levi merely stared, "We'll stay here. Its mine. People will come." Armin touched the smooth metal case with the letter _Shin_ on it, rubbing the dust between his fingers. Maybe there was something to being religious? "This must have cost you a fortune." Levi stopped inside, standing in the middle of a room full of drop clothed furniture, "Erwin bought it." Armin watched his shoulders tighten and then sag dejectedly.

"He bought it when he died while we were overseas. I didn't have enough money. There was an auction and I tried to bid but lost out." Armin moved inside towards him as David went into the hallway to open a small closet. He pulled out a broom and the vacuum. Armin moved to take his hand, "He's the one whose bid won out, isn't he? He bought it for you because he wanted to help." His voice was soft but full of understanding. Armin's nose wrinkled and he rolled his eyes half heartedly, "That's Erwin, a prince in shining armor that gets off his horse to save you from the mud puddles and shit." Levi squeezed his hand, "He's such an asshole but I love him." Levi let go to start cleaning. Armin nodded, “Such is also the cross I bear.”

*************

The hackers were located in an abandoned building on the edge of the city. A few residential and commercial properties were around it but it was basically slums. Armin lay on his stomach on the floor, David's shirt he'd now claimed as his own on, pink briefs and hair in a pony tail as he drew up the semantics on the building they needed to know like the back of their hand. "Daaaaviiiid, help me." David came out of the kitchen for a moment, face bruised and cut from a recent spat at a bar where he’d met a contact, "I'm busy, little one." Armin pouted, "But, David..." Armin turned his head to give him the best most convincing puppy dog eyes he could. David merely stared, stoic and unwavering. A standstill that lasted for a long while till Armin huffed, "Ugh, DAVID!" David remained unfazed, "David!" Armin whined, "David, I'll give you hugs and kisses?" David grunted, "Keep them." Armin fell back on the floor face pressed to the clean white rug, "Erwin normally just gives in after the puppy dog eyes." David returned to the kitchen snorting, "Erwin weak. David strong." 

Levi was in the city meeting up with his old contacts who owed him favors. They needed guns, bullets, grenades, more. They would exterminate these roaches. He told Armin that the cell in Turkey and Europe were becoming more radical according to the information Eren had given him. He also told Armin he was getting jealous of Erwin and Eren spending so much time together. Armin had simply smiled somewhat sadly, “I know. You’ve been throwing up for weeks now. You think they’re jealous we’re spending time together?” He hadn’t replied, his cheeks merely flushed pink. Armin had turned to look out the window holding his tea, “Yeah, probably not.” 

People were now being killed in those cell’s territories on par with what happened in Badschi, Armenia, Bosnia. It was time to start looking ahead to them and whoever One Eye was and his grand plan. Armin had told them One Eye was a straight forward and strong Danish communist who had been accused of misconduct with his students while teaching simply to have him fired. There was no evidence, no innocent until proven guilty. Teaching had given him a purpose and now it was gone. His ideas threatened those around him and after a lifetime of other events this one snapped the camel’s back and led to him snapping. He committed arson and was jailed, found Islam while serving time, and became a religious scholar. He met Abulafia in Sweden and became his unofficial second until Armin appeared. 

Levi had a friend of his now looking into further places where he could have stories planted for journalists to take the focus off the Wall. He disseminated Jean’s propaganda and so far wherever it was run it gained notoriety and seemed to release pressure from both sides. The government had already started a massive reform, one step in the right direction but distrust still pervaded in many circles. Their massacre of the party members had prevented the hackers from gaining more followers but it couldn’t have gone unnoticed that this was the second time The Two Wolves had appeared and a squad decimated. Levi was sure they'd be expecting him to stay in D.C.. He hoped they didn't consider that he knew where they were and was already in New York.

Pretending to be another hacker in the group, Armin successfully had them leave their white tower one rainy day. It bought them thirty minutes of precious time to scout out the building. Thirty minutes was nothing, but they made the best of it comparing their maps and blueprints to the footprint they had from old records. Armin's orders were clear: kill the hackers and take any of the information they could back to the agency. 

It wasn't that things weren't going according to plan per say. They were actually accomplishing a lot and rather quickly. Levi knew that was due to years of experience and Armin's ability to guide them through things with unmatched precision. Armin called Eren pretty consistently and spoke to Erwin about half of the time. Mostly, Eren was watching the news for him abroad in Turkey. Things were going well, too well. But, occasionally, Armin would leave a conversation with Erwin with a slight disappointed look on his face. Maybe, Levi wasn’t the only one getting jealous?

************

The night they decided to act was cold and wet. All were nervous but seemingly prepared for anything, guns ready, knives hidden, phones ready for use, and Armin dressed in leather for added flair. Levi and David huffed at his appearance but both of them were also covered in uniforms of black and stealth. David led them onto the subway where they spread out. Levi lifted his hood, eyes dark, mouth in a grim line. No one dared sit next to him or Armin who sat in the back, legs spread wide on the seat and a sneer on his face. David carried a gym bag, standing, while people looked cautiously on at the stoic giant bodybuilder that probably moonlighted as a stripper. Levi put his music on on his phone as he thought about Eren and what their first dance would be to. It still nagged him how infatuated he'd become with Erwin. Two weeks and he was seemingly forgotten. He tried his best to bite his bitterness down. When had he become so....so.... _insecure?_

The train stopped and they got off walking up to the ground level on the corner of the building. A group of kids were called inside by finicky mothers with distrustful eyes. Darkness meant danger here, too. A curfew was instituted in the area along with most other areas the Wall had been active in. Martial law would be next and then what, a police state? Wouldn't that just be the perfect fodder for the growing funeral pyre? Levi nearly snorted at the thought until they were at the grate where they'd sneak in. David removed it before covering them as they lowered themselves into the basement.

******************

Once inside the basement of the building in the pitch black echoing halls they spread out to their posts. Armin climbed the stairs alone, his job to take the focus off the others by acting as a sacrificial lamb, _shefeleh_ , noting the cameras around them in the corners and how they followed him. He picked up an old discarded pipe dragging it along the wall creating noise as he leisurely walked through the corridors in the inky darkness. His thoughts were only on one thing: find the control room. In the room he would transfer files to a hard drive and then they could finish their plan.

At the end of the hall a figure appeared clad in oversized clothes and a mask. His figure illuminated by the red exit sign behind him. They held a weapon, Armin wasn’t very impressed by it or the situation. He was the second wolf again and his lips were wet with want, curled up at the edges with his fangs exposed. He could just imagine how sweet the blood would taste when he tore their throat out. 

He tossed the pipe on the floor. It rolled to the side as the figure watched amused. Its head turned, questioningly and Armin merely shrugged widening the space between his legs taking on a nonchalant and unfazed posture. The figure seemed pleased that Armin wouldn’t be putting up much of a fight so he proceeded forward gaining speed as the space between them became smaller and smaller. With a small smile and a swift hand he reached into his pocket with ease. Armin flipped his phone out using his first trick.

A blinding pulsating strobe light filled the room causing the figure to cover their eyes blinded and left paralyzed momentarily. That’s all Armin needed, small half axe revealed and slicing through the air till it hit the flesh between neck and shoulder. With a few well placed whacks he’d taken down the assailant and proceeded forward. His phone beeped, a text :

  
**U will pay**

Armin smiled as his phone was cut off. All cell phones would now be useless. He pocketed it and moved forward, blueprint memorized and guiding him on his way. He encountered another one slinging machetes like a wild man. Armin simply waited for him to charge carelessly before tripping him forward. Down he went on his stomach, too slow to bounce up. He had his nape nearly cut off before he heard the other one. This time with a gun, the cocking echoed in the hall hollow and violent, _my violent heart_. 

The first bullets whizzed by as Armin dropped to the ground. He knew there was a vent system he could crawl through but it was dangerous, the risk they controlled the temperature too high. Burning alive in a make shift crematorium wasn’t how he wanted to go. He had to take him out, a man with a semi automatic. _Just another day for the Two Wolves._ Armin played dead listening to the fall of his footsteps. When he was close enough to make out in the dim light he heard him radio to the others and tell them he was dead. Armin held his breath that he didn’t shoot into him for good measure. Instead, he rolled him over checking his face and to see if his chest still moved with breath. Unfortunately, he was too slow to see the revolver in his hand removed from his jacket. Armin shot him dead moving along the hallways to the control room since no one would be patrolling it now that the intruder was thought deceased. Those inside were sitting ducks as he opened the door, eyes alive with hellfire and he shot them all where they sat and stood.

Retrieving the data was simple, getting into the control room fairly simple, waiting for word from Levi and David they were ready for phase two not so much. There were still hackers inside in other areas but since this was the main office they wouldn’t be alerted to an intruder that was considered dead and gone. He watched on the screens as they worked obliviously to the wolf in the hen house. Armin flipped through the screens noting that David was now on his way to the control room. Levi, however, was struggling with a hacker who had him on the ground. 

Armin held his breath watching the hand to hand exchange. Where was his gun? What had happened? David entered the room running to the screen, “Levi!” Armin shushed him; he’s down the hall to the right. “Let’s go.” He ripped the drive out, slinging his coat back on and out the door they went. When they got to the scene Levi was panting standing with the man in a choke hold. David told him to release him and he shot him with the silencer before they moved to leave. 

Near the outside edge of the building Armin’s phone went off, “Hello?” He answered it out of habit, Levi casting a disbelieving glare at him, “Two Wolves, if you do what we think you have planned know that there will be consequences.” Armin continued to run, “There are consequences to every action. That’s how it is.” He hung up, running through the door that David had wedged open outside into the cold night. The stars were bright since most of the power was still out in the city. Armin looked up; he counted them like he’d done with Eren when they’d go camping, sleeping in the woods sharing a sleeping bag dreaming of the future. 

They ran and ran until they were at the safe point. David removed a small device with a button. He looked to Armin who took a moment and nodded. After hitting the button, the building started to crumble in on itself. They’d decided to blow the building up, claiming with planted stories it was a routine implosion to make room for new commercial interests that had had unforeseen consequences when the night crew died due to a malfunction in the timer, tragic and completely easy to bury in a time when terrorists were bigger priorities that construction accidents.

Levi and David huffed out of breath as they watched. Armin turned to walk back to the other subway when he heard the other blast and felt it on his back. The next thing he knew he was on his stomach covered in dust and ash. Levi was over him protecting him and David was on him. They stood up, dazed and then he realized it: They blew up the neighboring apartment building with the daycare in it. That’s what they were trying to do, use them as leverage. How had they known? Somehow, someone must have betrayed Armin or maybe….

Before Armin could allow that chilling thought to sink deeper David pulled them towards the road that would lead them to the subway. He wasted no time putting them on the next train where they road in silence. All those children and families were now dead and it was their fault. David said it was unfortunate. Levi rightfully claimed betrayal. Armin just felt numb. Armin actually felt numb and a thousand other things at the same time. He felt like……he felt _indescribable_

**********************

At the safe house David scrubbed himself in the shower of his private room. He bought their plane tickets to return home in a few days so as not to raise suspicion. He scoured the videos of the subway, had them tampered with by other undercover workers, and he cried. Children had died. Children….innocent children. David held his phone in his hand looking at Mikasa’s number but he couldn’t call her. He couldn’t tell her this and he didn’t want to worry her. He loved her, he wanted her to think of him a certain way. She was like a cherry blossom in spring and he wouldn’t touch her petals and ruin her color. Levi came inside for a few minutes. He sat down next to him hugging him to him, “Are you okay?” David groaned, “No, I’m going out. I’ll be back tonight. I just need air and to pretend….pretend that we’re not involved in any of this and I’m normal.” Levi understood, releasing him. David went to grab his coat, stopping in the doorway, “Take care of little one.” He kissed the mezuzah before leaving. Levi went to find Armin, his little one, his mami, his shefeleh.

He found him in their room standing against the wall. Levi walked inside carefully, treating him like skittish cat. He then settled beside him, watching him out of the corner of his eye. _Armin, how are you?_

Armin leaned against the wall, his eyes full of tears. His hair stopped at his shoulders heavy and thick. His breaths came in shallow and steady as he contemplated asking what he’d been dying to ask someone since he came back home, “Levi?” He began with caution, turning his head to the side to look at Levi who simply stood next to him in the room, “Yes?” Armin’s eyes were hooded slightly, aroused, but there was fear there, real fear. That gave Levi pause, what would he ask him? “Is David here?” His voice was airy, wary almost. Levi moved his head, rolling it from shoulder to shoulder, “No. He’ll be gone for a while.” Armin wet his lips turning back to face in front of himself, looking around the dirty room with its brown carpet, crème colored walls, heavy brown and gold paisley printed drapes, and white duvet and sheets. “Levi, I want to ask you to do something for me.” He said the words carefully. 

Levi shifted, “What is it, Armin. Just say it.” Levi’s anxiety was like a monster, its claws constricting his around throat. He felt it on his back, looming behind and waiting to overcome him. The weight of what had happened was causing him to drown. _Hene ma Tov, Lei lei lei_. “Hurt me.” It was so quiet he thought he heard it inside of his own mind. “Hurt me,” Armin’s eyes pleaded with him, still full of fear and that spark of excitement, “Please, Levi. Hurt me. I need you to. I need it. Only you can do this for me.”

He was begging and he knew he was but it was out there, he’d now said it and he wanted it. He would fight for this. He would get on his knees to convince Levi to do this to him, for him. Levi shook his head, voice thick with emotion and higher than normal, “No, no, no I couldn’t.”He rolled his head down shaking it no. “No, Armin, I can’t.” His voice broke and he flushed pink all over. Something that gave Armin hope as he asked again, “Hurt me, Levi Ackermann, hurt me.” Hurt Armin? No. Never. “I can’t hurt you.” He said weakly as Armin moved in front of him taking his wrists in his hands and holding them up by his face, “Yes, you can. Please, Levi. Hurt me…” 

Armin and Levi stared into each other’s eyes for a long time in the dimly lit room. Only their silent tears that fell down their cheeks, fat and heavy, let them know time wasn’t standing still. Levi’s eyes were wet, “Why?” Levi truly wanted to know, “Why me?” Armin brought Levi’s wrists up, his hands twisting them open to place Levi’s fine fingers on his throat, “Because,” Armin breathed, “we’re attached. You could probably use this as much as me.” _”Levi, it means attached. What are you attached to?” Armin’s coy smile and devilish glint in his eye as his ghost faded into the darkness of the study “Are you attached to me?” A bubbling of giggles._

A memory is all it took. Levi surrendered to his urges, everything he’d fought against he gave in to. His grip tightened around Armin’s long and slender neck, cutting the air off. He watched as Armin’s eyes widened in surprise and pleasure. Levi brought him around, slamming him into the wall with enough force to wind him as his back slapped against it. He lifted him up, only his toes could touch the ground as he choked him, relishing in the sounds and squirms. Armin’s hands weakly rested on his wrists around his throat, face now turning a shade of lavender that reminded Levi of the flowers that grew in the boxes outside of his room in France, his glassy eyes, bright baby blues, soft lips, silky hair, shaking body, _”Oh God how his body just twitches and shakes willingly accepting this,”_ Armin was a doll. He would make sure to use him like one.

He slung Armin effortlessly to the floor and began kicking him in the sides. He watched as his petite body curled around his boot, listened to his muffled screams as he continued to kick him and the occasionally muffled moan when he stepped on his sensitive vital areas. Armin whimpered, fingers lightly tracing the tip of his boot as Levi pressed into his stomach before kicking him again. 

He was somewhat surprised when Armin gave him a few quick strong kicks to the sides of his legs nearly knocking him over. Armin turned over and started to try and move away from an amused Levi whose eyes were like the blue tints of the hottest flame, _”If you want it that way, we can do it that way.”_ Levi walked over arrogantly, sizing up his prey, while Armin crawled on the floor away from him clutching at his now bruised ribs, _this is what you wanted, this is what you wanted, this is what you wanted, this is what you wanted, this is what I want._

Levi quickened his pace stepping over Armin, trapping him between his legs. He reached down grabbing his hair and harshly ripping his face up. Armin turned over swinging and landing his own punches until he had Levi where he wanted him. He wrapped his legs around his legs, latching on and bringing Levi down on to his panting and shaking body, coursing with adrenaline. _This is what I want, this is what I want, fuck, Levi, yes, hurt me, hurt me, Levi, oh you’re my God_. They wrestled on the floor for dominance, punching, kicking, clawing, ripping at skin, clothes, each other’s hair, tangling their fingers in the locks. The room was alive with their yells of sudden pain, their muffled cries, and their heavy panting as they moved against each other engaged in war.

With Armin on his back again Levi sat up more pinning him down. Armin’s eye burned as his lips trembled. Levi felt that same warmth pooling in his lower stomach again as Armin unconsciously exposed more of his neck to him, wetting his lips and whimpering submissively. It was too much for Levi. He slapped him, slapped that pretty pouty mouth that often made him work much harder than normal on suppressing his facial expressions. Armin’s breath hitched each time, _this little freak._ Armin gasped at the next slap, his voice hoarse with arousal, “Lose me,” another slap, “Ahmm, hate me,” another harder slap, “Smash me,” Levi’s pupils dilated further as Armin arched into his next slap. _So fucking hot._ He ripped his own jacket off sitting back on his haunches to do so as he watched a small trickle of blood from the corner of Armin’s lip stain those soft petal pink lips Geisha red. 

Armin was in pain, his shudders told him so. Levi was, too. But Levi had to be honest with himself in this moment as he hovered above Armin choking him again, his hands stroking and digging into the supple flesh of the bottom his delicate jaw, he’d never been more alive and he’d never felt as free. He’d never imagined that this could be as therapeutic as it was or, if he was being honest, as erotic. When he’d fought with David and Erwin he’d released stress, he’d felt better. But, it was short lived. Something about Armin just asking for him to wail on him just felt better. He released his throat, watching Armin sputter and cough, his voice raw and raspy, “Erase me.” Armin had hurt him as well, something Levi became aware of as his hands came up to hit beneath his ribs in a spot he’d punched at the beginning of this exchange. He really had fought back, Levi’s face would bruise, he’d almost overcome him and now that Levi thought about, he was sure he’d held back because he wanted Levi to keep on, keep on hurting him. Levi didn’t need him to hold back. Like a new horse he’d break him.

Levi reached into the back of his pants between his shirt and belt pulling out a blade, “Kill me.” His eyes widened as Armin’s hands skirted up Levi’s thighs. _Kill Armin? Kill this magnificent intelligent cunning erotic person so full of life and potential. Kill him?_ Armin’s desperate plea made him weak in the knees, warmth pooling even more than before filling him up till he felt that he would explode. He watched as Armin licked and bit his lips, “Kill me.” Something about this was almost holy, like Abraham and Isaac on the mountain. Except, this time, Isaac was asking to be slaughtered. This perfectly unblemished lamb, so holy and pure, so young and naïve, so willing and excited, was asking him to kill him. This was wrong, so wrong, “Erase me, Kill me,” but this just _feels so fucking good._

Levi grabbed the middle of Armin’s shirt lifting it away. He watched as Armin’s back arched exaggeratedly off the floor, hips pressed down beneath Levi’s lap, beneath where Levi rested against his thighs. He could feel Armin’s arousal, the heat radiating off of it and his natural scent filling the space. He knew he was just as aroused and he decided to give into one of his most private desires. He cut the fabric of Armin’s shirt up to his neck before ripping it off of his body leaving him shirtless and panting like an animal in heat. Levi leaned forward slowly, breathing shallow, his eyes hooded, eyes burning with the fire inside of him, his lips parted as hot breath rushed out between them as he draped himself over Armin’s toned and sweat glistened body. 

Armin’s mouth was open, he panted against his lips, his chin jerked up slightly as Levi came closer, trying to taunt him to claim them. They hesitated, ghosting their lips across each other’s back and forth for a few long moments heavy with lust, breathing the same air as Armin arched even closer to him. Levi’s blade slid between them, down the throat, over the delicate skin, between the collar bones, down over the scar from the bullet that had nearly killed him, and the even slower pricking the skin as he traced each well defined abdominal muscle till he ended just above the hem of his pants. The cool metal slid beneath the hem of Armin’s leather pants snagging on the fabric and grazing the base of his arousal. Armin’s head fell back, mouth open wide as he shook all over, stimulated more than he ever knew was possible. “You can hurt me if you want, Levi. If it makes you happy, if it will please you.”

Armin lifted his head back up to moves his lips tantalizingly against Levi’s lips again. He moved forward again, nipping at the skin of Levi’s chin and jaw playfully, enticingly. Levi growled deep in the back of his throat before pulling his face away. Levi moved suddenly, forcing one of his knees between Armin’s legs harshly, pulling his hips up higher, violently bruising them and growling as their sensitive arousals rubbed against one another trapped between tight coarse fabrics. Armin moaned wantonly before Levi gave him another brutal slap. Then it began again, the clawing, the tearing, the punching, the fighting that one observed in feral animals, but this time with the added waves of pleasure each time they moved just the right way.

Levi, in an attempt to gain the upper hand again when Armin threatened to overcome him, placed his blade at Armin’s throat turning it to cut the skin just enough to draw blood. A small growl died behind Armin’s clenched teeth as the blood trickled downwards in a red trail from a crescent smile. Levi huffed an amused laugh at the sound of this sweet submissive doll attempting to buck him. He leaned in, licking a stripe up and down the alabaster throat, hearing the thrumming of the blood as it pumped, pumped, pumped. He was intoxicated in this domination of him. He suckled at the wound, lapping at the blood, something he’d always wanted to do with someone. He lost himself. He didn’t care if he was ever found again.

The stimulation affected both in erotic ways. Armin pushed against him breaking away from Levi’s control, something he wouldn’t suffer. His hand found the curve of his tender neck, so at home there he felt like it was made for him. It always made him nervous to do this to Eren. He would have to think about well before he did it and even if Eren thought it happened in the moment that wasn’t true. He’d never want to hurt Eren. But, where he never wanted to hurt Armin either, there was something about this exchange, this level of trust that made him forget those worries and be exactly as raw and as truly Levi as he wanted.

He tightened his grip more than ever, watched as Armin reached his limit, his eyes were glassy, he knew he was about to pass out when he released him. He wheezed with eyes full of tears. Levi licked them away as they rolled down his face before leaning back and slapping him for the next few seconds as he ground down on him, hips rising and falling and his fingers dug into the side of his face to keep it still. Armin whined and cast him the most defiant gaze Levi had ever seen anyone give, let alone give him. His gaze was not just defiant but petulant, sultry, feral, and excited. It pushed Levi further to the edge, he couldn’t hear anything, couldn’t think about anything. There was only Armin.

Armin’s eyes rolled to the back of his head as Levi moved against him, hissing at the friction. He took his blade, admiring the thin red line across Armin’s throat, and then he traced the scar in the middle of his chest. He cut the flesh with surgeons precision so shallow they’d heal in a day or two like a paper cut, but for that reason every line stung and burned Armin who bit back more sounds, clenching his mouth shut as Levi finished and then moved up to his collar bones and shoulders. He was marking him but, this was a type of expression of something deeper and more meaningful. Something that Levi didn’t quite understand.

He lapped at the thin lines of blood from Armin’s skin, sucking on them harshly as Armin murmured and whined rutting against him. What they were doing, on the mountain, was bigger than them. If Armin continued to be this submissive and willing he’d take him. Take him whole and then what? What a mess that would cause. There were rules. He had to control himself but Armin’s willing and lithe body pressed against him, panting, hot, flushed, and slick with sweat was heady and real. Levi lost himself in the motion of his hips and the small moans that accompanied them.

He pressed down on Armin’s ribs, feeling how each of the bones gave way to hollow cavities as he pressed harder and harder in on the cage until Armin was whimpering desperately, his back snapping on to the floor. Levi’s teeth bit at the flesh of his collar bones, they entangled further, Armin’s hands in Levi’s hair pulling harshly as he slapped him defiantly. Armin was then met by an answer of more punches on his sensitive abdomen that left him breathless. When he tried to turn his head away, Levi gripped his face keeping him facing him as he gazed into his eyes. Their lips continued to touch but kissing felt almost forbidden. Something they’d not done since the club all those months ago. Levi’s eye swam with lust as Armin turned, breaking free of his grip, dragging them across the smooth skin of his cheek barring his throat for him, their hips moving in sync. _”Sometimes, I get so lonely I could-“_ Levi’s walls were crumbling. Armin’s sweet cherub lips moved mesmerizing him like a snake charmer and a cobra, “Levi.”

The way he said his name, like a prayer, “No.” Armin’s tongue slid over his lips licking at the still bleeding corner, “Levi.” This time like an exclamation of passion, “No.” “Levi,” Armin’s body twisted around him delightfully and it sounded like a promise, “No, no. Stop, don’t say-“ “Levi,” this time with hope, “No, don’t say my name.” “Levi,” His voice wavered and shook with lust. “Levi,” oh God, Levi was burning, this time it was like being read final rites, “Please, Armin, not my name. Don’t say my name like that.” Levi’s humid breath mixed with Armin’s as their lips once again came to rest on one another, teeth exposed, noses touching, chins grazing, Armin nipped at his lips, his voice a low breathy whisper, “Levi, I have a secret.” Levi moved up, his bottom lip exposed and ready for the taking if only Armin dared to reach out and take it, _Take it, take it please. Give me a sign._ “What?” His voice gruff and full of curiosity despite the heavy tone of arousal still there, “Armin, my shefeleh, mon biqut, what is your secret?” His voice trailed off into as Armin leaned up, his lips capturing Levi’s bottom lip, quivering, tender, his teeth pulling gently as he pulls back, Levi’s thighs shaking as his whole body flushed hot, a low, gentle whisper against his wet lip, “I am the devil.” 

He pushed off, pushed away, fell on his knees trying to stand up, as he put his knife away he cut his palm, he scrambled away like he’d been burned. He gathered his jacket and held his knife in his hand, blood slipping through his fingers while his mind was still disentangling himself from Armin. Levi went to the other bedroom ripping the en suit door open and peeling off his clothes. The water was frigid but he got in any way.

Even after waiting for the water to warm up it had no effect on the painful erection he still had. Levi pressed his face against the tile, putting the fact it was more than likely covered in filth behind him as he took himself in his hand almost violently seeking release. His mind was full of visions of Armin on the floor, on his back, submissive, whining, whimpering, moaning, yelling, and screaming, in pain, in ecstasy. He’d almost lost himself, almost broken the rules and fucked him, fucked Armin and what would that have done for Erwin and his relationship? 

Levi came at the thought of Armin’s sweet lips gently pulling at his own after such rough treatment before hand, his way of saying thank you. Armin swam behind his eyelids, swam in his blood, saturated him, and lived on his skin. Levi would have to take matters into his own hands two more times before leaving the shower and trusting himself to find Armin again and ask why. Why would he say that?

Armin was still on the floor, covered in his own release on the phone with a contact. His long nimble fingers traced random patters on his stomach where his impressive flaccid cock lay and his seed was smeared. Levi stood in the doorway looking on hungrily as he hung up. The phone wasn’t put down and he answered another call, “Eren?” Levi’s mind went hay-wire. His beautiful husband wasn’t that far away and he’d nearly crossed the line with his dearest friend. Levi loved Eren, that’s who his soul belonged with. What would it have been like if Eren would have been here? Would this have never happened? Would it have been Eren he asked? What would Eren think of Armin and their dangerous dance they just had? 

Armin’s head rolled to the side, tired, sated, asleep, “Eren, I love you so much and I miss you but I’m about to pass out. Here’s Levi, okay? Tell Erwin I love him and I can’t wait to see my daddy.” Another heavy hit, _Erwin._ Erwin and Levi didn’t share. They didn’t play well like that. That would have been an even bigger issue. God forbid Eren and Erwin had done something like that. It would eat him alive with jealousy. True, he’d given Eren permission to have oral sex with Erwin but that’s because they’d done that when they thought Armin was dead. Penetrative sex was different. It would take a lot more soul searching and discussing before he knew how he’d feel about that. 

But for now, Levi took the phone, “Ahuvi? Hold on, I’m going to pick Armin off the floor. It’s filthy. He doesn’t need to sleep there.” He laid the phone on the chair picking a now bruising Armin up and setting him in the bed. He took his clothes off, wiping his seed away with his towel. Armin smiled faintly before falling into a deep sleep. “Okay, I’m back. How are things at the house? I want all the details. It’s kind of depressing up here.” 

Eren prattled on and on but a few things stuck out: He avoided talking about Erwin’s arm and how it was till affecting him, he also spent a lot of time just talking about Erwin in a lot more detail than ever before, and he sounded like he wasn’t missing Levi as much as he’d hoped. Levi mentioned that to him and of course, Eren was upset that he’d ever think that. He chopped it up to knowing that they had to do this and that since he was with David and Armin Eren felt better about Levi being away from him. Also, he’d enjoyed his bonding time with Erwin and couldn’t wait for them both to get back to perhaps go on a trip before the wedding together, just a weekend trip, nothing special.

Eren’s planning made Levi feel somewhat numb. He spoke with him further, telling him he loved him. Obviously something clicked with Eren who said he must have had a bad day because he was being really affectionate. His beautiful emotionally awkward husband would be the death of him. _So young and naïve._ “Levi, I love you and I miss you. Take care of yourself, don’t forget to eat and take care of Armin. He’s my other half and I need him in one piece as my best man. I guess since you’re without a phone I’ll have to wait to see you. Till then, kisses.” Levi smiled to himself mumbling, “Kisses…”

He opened the door, changed, turned the lights out, and crawled in bed with Armin, “I almost fucked you.” Armin yawned turning over to face him, “No, you didn’t.” Levi’s hands rested on his stomach, “Yes, I did.” Armin snuggled into his pillow, “No, I wouldn’t have let you. We’d have to talk about that with our significant others beforehand and maybe you wouldn’t have wanted it? Neither of us would want them to have done that to us. We’re fine, Levi. Thank you.” Levi rolled over, “Should we feel…something or a certain way about what happened?” Armin opened his eyes, “If you didn’t feel anything then something is wrong with you. I don’t really think we need words for it, do we?” Levi gently touched the side of his bruised face; Levi’s voice was fearful, “Is this love, Armin?” Armin became serious before answering and then rolling over to go to sleep. They’d be home in just a few short days.


	51. Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *mentions and discussions of rape and sexual assault*

The next morning, David stormed into their bedroom, “We can’t fly out, they’ve canceled all flights and locked it down. We have to leave now or we’ll not get home for weeks or a month or more. Get up!” Levi clutched Armin closer to him who simply looked annoyed that he was being woken up. Naked and extremely painfully sore he rolled out of Levi’s embrace and grabbed at clothes. He pulled on David’s oversized shirt, a jacket, sweatpants, tennis shoes, and a beanie. He looked like a tiny thug to David but otherwise he was happy he was moving quickly.

Levi’s slow reaction started to draw unwanted attention to him so he hurried up slamming things together as they left the apartment where he locked the door staring at the name plate one last time. He needed to come and renovate it. But, renovating would take away the memories. He’d replaced the floor in the living room and hallways and the main bedroom that David had used but the rest was left frozen in time, still and in homage to his life there. David ripped him away from the doorframe, “We’ll come back. We must go now.” Levi felt sad as they left the building. He didn’t even visit his grave while he there. What kind of nephew was he?

In the car for the first hour all was quiet. David sat up front with Armin who was sipping on a giant bottle of blue PowerAde he’d swiped from a nearby vendor, without Levi or David knowing, leaning against the window. Armin had removed his jacket once the car became warmer and laid it down covering his legs. His blanket was in the bag in the trunk and David promised they’d get it out when they could stop safely. He was taking back roads and cutting through road blocks that were undermanned. He’d removed the tags and had about six pairs to change out over the course of the trip. Armin powered off his phone, “You’ll need this. I think its data is being mined.” David turned his head as Armin laid it in the cup holder.

David returned to the road, “Don’t you need to make calls?” Armin shook his head, “My real phone is at home. This was a fake I made with Marco. I knew they might tap it. Levi’s phone was also a fake but he didn’t know that.” Levi gave him a shocked and offended look, “How did you do that?” Armin shrugged, “You’re at your most vulnerable when you sleep.” He said vaguely while Levi sat back thinking about how glad he was that he didn’t have to get a whole new phone. 

As the hours started to pass things became stranger and strange in the car. Levi was hyperaware of Armin and his body was on edge. David cleared his throat looking at him in the rear view mirror, “You two had sex.” Levi’s eyes widened as he moved in the back seat away from Armin, “David, no.” David shook his head, “Yes, you did. I can tell. Something has changed. It doesn’t bother me. I just guess, I just thought that maybe you two had already done that but then the way the relationships were explained to me that would be against the rules, correct? What changed?” Armin slid down in his seat, “David, it would and we didn’t have sex. What changed was just…” Armin searched for the words, “was just that…” Levi supplied the words, “He needed someone to reach out and touch him in his loneliness, like you did for me.” Levi’s eyes met his shyly in the mirror.

David drove on seemingly satisfied with the answer. Armin turned to look at Levi through the lifted head rest. They had changed and now what would they do about that when they got home? David pulled over on the side of the road, darting out quickly to the back where he changed the plates. When he slid back inside he gave Armin his blanket who squealed with glee, “Thank you, my sweet beloved David!” David merely grunted, “Instead of having sex you just beat the shit out of each other?” Armin nearly choked on his drink, “Stop asking questions, David.” He sighed, “If I don’t then you won’t have anything worked out when we get back home to tell the others. Because, they’re going to ask why Armin’s neck looks like he was nearly choked to death and who gave Levi the two black eyes.”

Armin reached over tapping David’s thigh, “Thanks. Good point. We’ll just blame it on the terrorists.” He nodded, “For now. What about when it happens again?” Levi pulled his scarf up, “It won’t happen again.” David made a disbelieving noise, “It’ll happen again, achki. You two have started something here and I think it’ll be something that has to burn itself out before you could even imagine quitting it freely. This is….holy?” Levi had felt the same way, “You think that, too?” David closed his eyes for a second, “I do. I don’t understand it but I think it’s important to you two.” 

********************

Back in Atlanta after driving for nearly two days, Armin appreciated flying much more than he ever thought he could. Armin stretched his legs getting out of the parking deck with Levi trailing behind him, “Is Mikasa here still?” David shook his head, “No, she had to travel today and tomorrow. She’ll be back the day after tomorrow and finish the week out with her internship and then back to Maria.” David smiled softly, “I wish she’d been here to greet us.” Armin rolled his eyes, “God, tell her that. She might want to stay more. Ms. Kirschstein always has to come for business and she’d love to let Mikasa run that aspect and cut down on travel now that she lives with Mr. Body.” David bit his lip, “What is her business called? It’s a real corporation, right?” Armin grinned, “Jean Bleu.” David threw his head back laughing, “Wow, a mother’s love.”

Inside Armin, Levi, and David all separated for much needed showers. Armin stood in the water tracing the cuts on his flesh that were now healing leaving thin white lines that would soon fade into nothing. Levi truly was a talented surgeon. His body was black, purple, blue, red, and yellow. He bruised easily, knowing this would help with Erwin who would certainty have issues with any that appeared after these faded that he himself hadn’t left. Armin burned when he stretched and he shook when he moved too quickly. His body felt tired in a good way, the pain made him feel alive. It was better than any drug he could have ever taken.

Once cleaned he appeared in the room to David unloading a bag from Neman Marcus. “You’re _daddy_ said you’d need new things.” David turned the words over in his mouth oddly since they were clearly not what he’d normally say. Armin smiled, “That was a good try at normal, David. When did my daddy hear I was coming to Atlanta?” David blushed, “Mikasa must have told Eren.” Armin nodded, “Well, I am glad for the new clothes. Did Levi get anything?” He shrugged, “No, he has things here. Well, Eren got him tea and Erwin had body wash he likes sent. But, nothing like the haul you have.” Armin opened the bags, “I’m not even going to be here long enough to wear half of this.” He mumbled somewhat embarrassed as David watched, “You like it when he does nice things like this?” 

Armin lifted a thin oversized black cashmere sweater out of the bag and a pair of clean cotton Michael Kors pink briefs. He slipped them on under his towel before pulling the sweater on and a pair of black thermal leggings with white silhouettes of cats on them. The boots were in another bag but he pulled the soft silky pink socks on, “Why are you asking?” David sat in the plush canvas colored chair in the corner of the room, “Because I’m curious.” Armin looked at the bed with its mountain of pillows and soft throws. Mikasa had clearly done a bit of nesting in her boyfriend’s home. “Why don’t you come cuddle with me here and I’ll tell you more about it?’ Armin prompted merely to have David shake his head.

”UH! Why?” David looked very serious, “I’m convinced you’re a demon of some sort and you can still hearts and souls. I’d rather we stay strictly professional, for my safety. You’re a bit like the _Alraune._ ” Armin wrinkled his nose, “Such slander.” He crawled into the bed forming a cocoon around himself, “Well, yeah, I really like it. It makes me feel loved and appreciated because he takes the time to pick things out by hand. Also, these tiny pink socks are something I really treasure because the bows are a throw back to our daddy/baby relationship we engage in and a running joke/argument we have about me wearing socks to bed. He tells me through his actions that he’s listening. Erwin knows what I like and he showers me with affection.”

He laid in the soft blankets watching as David contemplated it all, “While I know that Erwin absolutely adores and loves you, I don’t really know if he actually knows you. Does he ask you about your past? Does he try to get to know you a little every day?” Armin’s stomach tightened and his back went hot, “I don’t really understand what you mean?” David stood up, “He showers you with things because he knows this side of you so well and he thinks this is you, all the time, all day, every day. But, maybe, this isn’t even the most dominate personality you have, maybe it’s the one you’ve been letting Levi in to see, the one I think Jean and Eren know about. I don’t want to overstep, I just want you to be happy and I want Erwin to be happy. I’m not going to be the only one that acknowledges this change, Armin. You’d be stupid to think so. Perhaps, if you’ve been keeping things inside, you should let them out. Even if it hurts you doing so.”

David left, but not before leaning over the bed to kiss the top of Armin’s head, “I’m sorry to be the depressing one all the time, little one.” Armin nodded, “It’ okay. I’ll always listen to what you have to say.” Armin laid on the bed thinking about what he had said and he knew he was right. Erwin only saw what he wanted him to see and that wasn’t fair. Not when he’d seen him so low and vulnerable over their relationship. He was a weaker man thanks to him and his love. He had to tell him about Abulafia and what happened when he was gone, what happened that didn’t need to be said when he first came back to them and waiting Shin Bet. The things that happened in the night, in private, the things that made him do all those horrible things he’d done.

************************

Later that night Levi called Armin for dinner but he said he wasn’t hungry. He had saved him a plate and now went to check that he was awake. Armin was in the middle of his bed, smelling of freshly brushed teeth, his hair messy from sleep, and eyes staring into the distance as he looked up at the ceiling, “Levi?” His name was like a song of the ancients as it lured him towards the siren on the bed, “Armin?” Armin’s head rolled to the side to look at him, “Remember what the dormouse said, “Feed you head.”” Armin pointed to the side of his head before laying his arm back down, “Knowledge is power and the pursuit of it is painful.” 

Levi walked inside where he sat his glass of water down and sat in the same plush canvas arm chair David had earlier. It was large enough for two and had a very high back that Levi found curios. “Just tell me what’s really going on in your head, little dormouse.” Armin snorted, “Sergei Rachmaninoff’s Lilacs is currently taking up all the space of my mind. It makes me think of you. I picture a young three year old Levi in the streets of Paris, happy, carefree, and spirited. It makes me think of Erwin’s eyes when he’s amused, that glint he gets, it makes me think of Eren running in open fields at sunset, it makes me think of Jean swimming the backstroke in the cold blue waters of the lake as his white skin glistens and cuts through the stain glass motif of ripples, and it makes me think of Marco’s smile in the early dawn as he sips his coffee on the back porch reading the newspaper because he thinks he can save print.” 

Levi’s chin rested in his hand as he crossed his legs, “You and Erwin have always sounded like Sergei’s Elegie in E flat minor to me. There is this Eastern Block romance to it when I think of your cunning eyes and quick wits. He’s the dashing Soviet officer that falls in love with the counter revolutionary and you spirit him away in a inflatable boat to Finland.” Armin smiled brightly, “Thank you, Levi. I really appreciate that.” He sounded truly sincere and Levi smiled despite himself, “Come here, mami.” Armin rolled off the bed, “I thought you’d never ask.” He approached Levi, straddling him in the chair, head raised above and hair falling around making a protective veil, “Do you know what we are?” His eyes probed as Levi stared waiting for his reply, he whispered hotly against him, “Morceaux de Fantasie, Levi.”

His hands rested on the back of the chair while Levi’s climbed from his knees over his thighs to his hips and up his sides. They slid back down grasping his hips again and kneading the soft flesh of his buttocks, “Tell me,” Levi ventured in the moonlight, “your secrets.” Armin rolled his body to the side before picking his head up rolling it back, long neck covered in the shadows of fingers, “You’ve been speaking to David.” Levi slid one hand around to his stomach, his hand pushed the material up and it moved under to glide on the blackened skin, “Come on, shefeleh. Lay your burden on me.” Armin chuckled to keep from screaming, “Let me dance for you instead?”

Levi watched as he moved circling his hips. His stomach rolled and moved in wonderful ways. He was entranced in this sensual throwback to the Middle Eastern traditions and for a moment he let it go, these secrets of Armin’s, “Like what you see?” Armin breathed against his hair as Levi’s pupils widened, “Of course.” Armin put more into it and Levi’s hands skirted along his body attentively, “Would you have wanted me in the barracks?” Levi leaned his head against the back of the chair, “I would have had you. You would have been just another soldier I emptied the pockets of.” Armin snickered, “And taken my cock?” Levi was lost in time again, “Free of charge.” 

Armin moved downwards nuzzling against his neck, “Like Erwin?” Levi’s hands seized his hips, “No, I took his money. He had to earn my affections.” He pulled Armin up off of him and then laid him across the chair on his stomach, “Give me what I want,” he purred, “and I’ll give you what you want.” He ripped the tights and briefs down exposing Armin’s snow white cheeks to the cool air of the room. His hand smoothed over the flesh lovingly as Levi felt himself grow hot at the thought of spanking him. 

Armin snickered, “You want this just as bad as I do. Don’t act like you’re so above it.” Levi cursed him, he was right. He looked at Armin whose hair messily tumbled over to the side as he looked over his shoulder coyly to taunt Levi, “You wanna spank me?” His voice was so tempting, “I’ll play along. But, you have to make it good first.” Levi’s hand slammed down without warning echoing in the room. Armin nearly bit his tongue from surprise and he let an airy excited sound fall from his lips, “H-Harder,” was all he managed and Levi complied. He spanked him for so long he lost track of time. “You like that, mami? You like how that feels?” Armin groaned, “Yeah,” his voice high and whiny, “More, please, more.” Levi continued getting off on this just as much as Armin. He never knew that he was like this, deep down, and it sort of made sense now that he thought about how excited gun play made him feel when Eren suggested it or when Eren wanted him to throw him around more than normal. He did want to try this with him but would he ever be able to hit Eren as hard and be as sadistic? That was something he’d need to ponder.

Each fall of his hand leaving the perfect imprint made him moan softly to himself. He kneaded the nubile flesh between hits sometimes; relishing in the small gasps and moans of Armin whose body shook and shuddered. His taunt stomach would convulse involuntarily against his knees making Levi feel almost feint. He watched the back of his thighs twitch and his back arch as the flesh turned from red to purple.

Armin begged for more but Levi had to deny him. They’d be going home tomorrow and the ride would be hard enough without getting back and Erwin wondering why a terrorist spanked Armin raw. He lifted Armin up off the chair into his arms, pulling his underwear and pants back up, before heading over and laying him in the bed. Levi took off his before climbing in alongside him, “Now, tell me something, mami.” Armin caught his breath before removing his shirt and tights settling in for a long night, “Levi,-“ he stopped, “I can’t.”

Armin curled into himself crying quietly in the darkness and pale moonlight that washed the room in cool white and blue. Levi’s hands moved to gather him up, pulling him over onto him stomach where he gently, ever so softly, coaxed Armin with the tips of his fingers as they carded through the silky blond strands. Armin's tears became sniffles as they lay there together in the warmth and protective nest of blankets and pillows. He nuzzled into his chest deeper when the words threatened like a flood to spew over, break the levees, and destroy his inner city. Levi understood. He knew he was about to enter uncharted waters with polarized emotions. Levi pulled the cover up over his back moving his hands beneath the heavy weight as Armin breathed deeply, calmly. _Is this love? Hurt me._

Armin wiped his nose, "Abulafia, was a bad man." Levi's hands fumbled in their motions, "True." Levi cursed his crude response. Armin whispered, "He was really perverted." Levi pulled him closer to him, spreading his legs wider around him to wedge Armin’s long legs between his. His hands stopped moving, "Armin." That was all he could say, all he could offer him. "Everything I did, I did it for Erwin. I did it to make sure Abulafia didn't become impatient and go after him on his own. Everything I did, I did it because I thought this man was Erwin's father and I became afraid of what he would do to him if he was here. If he could get a hold of Erwin would he fill his head with sentimental thoughts about fatherhood and his love for his mother? Would Erwin crave that and join this stranger? Would Erwin becoming indoctrinated? I was almost indoctrinated. Sorting fact and fiction has altered me forever. How would Erwin have done it without you there? They would have shot me when he came, I know it." 

Levi stared at the ceiling feeling the weight of Armin on top of him, "Armin." Armin shifted becoming smaller, "He would...." Levi closed his eyes, "Armin." Armin pressed on, "Make me pretend to be a woman. He wanted me to grow my hair out and would make me dress in women’s clothes with make up on. He’d hold me while he read at night in his study. Behind closed doors I used to be......I dreaded being alone with him because he'd take advantage that he had the upper hand. He had people watching Erwin and he had all the power. I needed to buy more time. I had to get more time." Levi’s face contorted into a frown and he grimaced, his voice breaking, "Armin...." Armin started to quiver, "He'd take me, by force, and it hurt. Sometimes, he'd call me Marilyn and make me pretend to be her. I could never let Erwin come there. He could never meet this man." 

"Armin he-" "Raped me. Often and I’d just fight until I couldn’t anymore, and lay there and let him…. I hate myself for it." Armin looked up to meet his gaze, "Because to him I was that same scrawny effeminate 15 year old all over again and aside from being the most capable and deadly of his soldiers I was still ultimately only good for one thing. He saw only my build and my face. You know how that is, being short and pretty like you are, you know how demeaning that is.” Levi did know and he felt his heart sting, “Now you know, know why I splintered even further off, splintered so I could save myself just a little bit. I didn't want to hate Erwin even though I find myself sometimes resenting him.” He inhaled a deep breath, “I did it because I had to. Now you know why I had to shoot him, shoot that monster. I wouldn't know even this tortured peace if I hadn't killed him. But it wasn't even worth it."

Levi stilled, "Why?" Armin rolled off to the side moving closer to Levi's face, "Have you ever been raped?" Levi swallowed, "Why wasn't it worth it?" Armin probed, "You didn't-" "Sexually assaulted. I would not classify my experiences as rape. I've _seen_ rape." The words were tight and rushed, he couldn’t handle talking about that right now and he’d never told Eren, "Why wasn't it worth it?" Armin looked into him, into his soul, "Because, not only did I find ways that possibly would have allowed me to protect Erwin without joining this group, what a burn from that salt in the wound as I laid on dirty sheets. But, as Erwin recently confirmed and I suspected, Abulafia was not Erwin’s father. Then we found out Gabriel Smith wasn’t his father either.” 

Levi’s eyes were so wide they stung and he felt like he’d been punched in the gut. “After the DNA confirmed it he became depressed again and hasn’t been the same. I decided to use my connections to find out what information I could about him if he ever wanted to know more.” Levi breathed in and out trying to calm himself, “Erwin Smith's father lives in a remote area of Russia." Levi's brain shut down, "What?" Armin took his face in his hands; their lips close again, "He lives in Siberia, as trapper. He went to Europe to find himself, became an avid communist to get through the Iron curtain and now lives there. I haven't told Erwin yet. I just got confirmation."

"But how did Marilyn and he?" Armin's fingers traced the lines between his brow, "He's his uncle, well, his father’s estranged brother. I don't have all the information. There are gaps and I can't fill them without Marilyn or his testimony. I think she left him a journal and I've asked for it to be sent to me by the guys in Italy. I’m just hopeful that whatever she wrote him will be comforting and that Abulafia hadn’t destroyed it or tampered with it." Armin rolled his eyes at a sudden thought, "At least he's a Smith. I didn't know how we'd tackle that eventual problem if he wasn't actually by blood the only survivor of the Smith dynasty left." Levi was stunned into silence. 

Armin understood, his legs and arms tangled in his, pressing himself up against him for comfort and nuzzled into his neck like a child. Levi mourned for Erwin whose father wasn't his biological father but then there was Armin and what he'd been through. Suddenly so much made sense and he felt the weight of it all. Erwin needed to tell him..... "Armin, I will never hurt you like that. Erwin will _never ever_ hurt you like that." Armin's body shook against him, "I know but I can't tell him, especially after he lost his arm. To say, hey, I’m tainted and I might have been able to avoid playing dead and nearly destroying your life for six months isn’t going to go over well. He’ll see his loss of his arm as a completely avoidable thing. He….he told me I’m the reason he lost it. It’s my fault. I’m to blame and we agreed to not talk about it anymore.” Levi was angered at that, “Armin, he said that in a moment of anger. If he had any idea he wouldn’t see it like that. If he knew you were-“ “I can't let him think of me like that.” Armin interjected, “When he says "my sweet" it sends me spinning, that’s why I asked that he not but he still does. It’s like, is he even listening? Abulafia called me that. It makes me lose myself. He said it when he'd want to-" Levi covered him more, his arms circling the thin waist, "Tell him." Armin whimpered, "No. Not until I have to. I live everyday with the guilt.” 

Levi rubbed his back, “About his arm? I do, too.” “It’s my fault. I can’t share what happened to me because I can’t let him think that he lost his arm for absolutely nothing. It’s that simple. I’ll just have to bury it deeper till I forget it. How easy it would have been to heal if he’d not lost the arm? How easier it would have been….” Armin trailed off, fingers tracing patters on Levi’s forearms. “And I didn't tell you any of this. None of this leaves this room, do you understand? Not even to Eren, Eren knows nothing unless it comes from me." Levi simply nodded, afraid to speak. What a mess this all was.


	52. Tired, you don't see me at all.

Pulling up to the house that afternoon, Armin and Levi had never been more in sync nor had they been so tired and oddly nervous. Three weeks away and they just wanted to see their significant others and try to go back to a semi-normal life. Levi was looking forward to the wedding after seeing the things Mikasa had emailed him and he was looking forward to seeing his big ole puppy dog and, of course, Donner. _I miss your smile, motek._ Levi pulled up the long driveway to the sight of Donner running in the yard, "It's a little cold to be playing in the yard, don't you think?" Armin noted as Levi nodded, "Eren better have enough layers on." Eren's mess of brown hair appeared as he chased after Donner who had a toy in his mouth. 

But that's not what gave both of them pause. The young deer following Eren and nuzzling up to Donner when they collapsed in the grass was. "Is that a deer?" Armin asked slightly excited but much more scrupulous. Levi turned the car off after a long pause, "Noooo" he breathed, "He fucking didn't." Levi stepped out of the car looking at the three, "Do you think you're a goddamn Disney princess? That better not be living in the house." Eren rolled over, eyes wide, "Levi! Meet Isi!" "What is that on its leg?" "A cast so it can heal." "It lives in the barn." "It lives in its pen in our room because I have to bottle feed it every 4 to 6 hours." Levi's eyes bulged, "It lives in the barn." Eren stood picking the tiny deer up and giving it kisses on the side of its face and neck walking towards Levi. Eren stopped before him, giving him his best innocent eyes and mumbled, "He gets a bath every other day and wears a diaper inside but I think he's learned that's not a good place to potty." Levi stared at the deer before sighing, "Eren."

Eren looked over Levi’s bruised face and hands, “What happened Levi? Your eyes are both black and yellow and swelling, my God.” Levi shrugged, “Nothing to worry about.” Armin climbed out of the car, “ARMIN!” Armin stilled as Erwin’s voiced pierced the relative calm of the day, “Baby! My sweet baby! What happened to you?!” Erwin ran off the porch attacking Armin with his presence. Amid Armin’s pleas for not making a fuss he absolutely smothered him with affection taking him up into his arms and crushing his lips to his, trapping him in a passionate kiss. “Armin, baby, I’ve missed you so much.”

Silence greeted him as he moved his nose to the side and opened his eyes. Armin was shaking in his arms, barely breathing. “You have two arms.” Erwin stayed still, “Yes.” Armin was still silent, “Let me go.” Erwin’s brow furrowed, “What?” Armin started to struggle, voice panicked and rushed, “Let me go! LET ME GO!” Erwin released Armin who pushed past him and went into the house slamming the front door. When Erwin turned to face Levi he saw a similar expression, “Eren and I….we can explain.” Levi’s face was unreadable, “Okay. But, let Armin alone.” Erwin prickled at his protectiveness but decided to let it go after the reaction he’d had. Still, where did he get off suddenly telling him what to do in regards to his baby?

***************

Levi reviewed the tapes, read the journals, took a look at the samples and it was overwhelming and suffocating. He leaned back in his chair as Eren and Erwin watched from the futon. He noted the close contact and the ease they had between them. Nothing that hadn’t been formed those six months Armin was gone but this time it was little off. He merely starred before blinking and turning back to looking at the paper work on his desk. “Eren, take this to Hanji. Show them and let them handle it.”

Erwin frowned, “I’d have thought you would want to take it over yourself.” Levi wiped his face, “I’m just…” What was he? “I don’t understand, Levi you would-” Erwin began and he didn’t want or need a lecture, “Damn it! I’m fucking tired!” Levi slid the chair back, slammed close the drawer that was open, closed the folder of papers, “Take it to Hanji!” Levi sneered leaving his office. He went to his room climbing in bed and taking two of his anxiety pills. Donner jumped up on the bed moving closer as he buried his nose into his fur smelling the special shampoo he used on him, faint. “Your other dad didn’t bathe you but he made time to bathe the new brat, didn’t he?” Donner closed his eyes as Levi petted him slowly, “You’re lucky I came back. You’d be filthy without me.” Donner made a small sound, “I love you, Donner.” And with that Levi drifted in and out of sleep while watching _House of Cards_ and crying for Armin.

************************

Armin and Levi slept for the next two days without much interaction with their significant others. When they did start to come out of their hibernation over the following days something felt off in the house. They would wake, drink some water, go to the bathroom, and then fade away again. One day, Armin felt Erwin rubbing his back softly, soothingly, “Baby, are you awake?” Armin opened his eyes to Erwin on the pillow next to him watching him with a small smile, “I love you.” Armin smiled softly, “I love you.” Erwin moved his hair from his face, “You look like you were beaten to death.” He nearly had been but he’d enjoyed every moment of it, “Don’t worry. I’m fine.” He looked down seeing the emotionally triggering article, “You’re arm is still here.” He was bitter, bitter about that arm staring him in the face since it was why he’d repressed so much. But, he needed to let it go. He needed to be bigger than that.

Erwin shrugged, smiling softly, “It’s better than ever, actually. The serum healed my past injuries. I’m years younger.” The fine line of his eyes wrinkled when he smiled, “I’ll be able to stick around for a long time with my baby.” Armin took a moment looking at the sheets between them. He grabbed his hand pulling it up to kiss it, “Good. I need my daddy.” His voice broke, “Hold me/?” Erwin took him in his arms, “Aaaah,” he signed into his, “feels good to hold you in my arms again. You fit like you were made just for me to be held. Let’s get married soon and go somewhere just the two of us? Like, Maui or Thailand.” Armin nuzzled deeper into his embrace, “Yeah.”

Eren opened their bedroom door, “Erwin, come to Hanji’s with me.” He said through the crack expectantly. Erwin inhaled smelling the top of Armin’s head, “I’ll be down in a minute, honey.” Armin’s skin prickled. Their relationship was much friendlier than before and he was getting really annoyed at the pet names. This was his daddy, not Eren’s. He had Levi, wonderful, handsome, Godlike Levi. That was plenty for him and Erwin was off limits. He tried to keep his anger out of his voice, “What’s with you and Eren?” Erwin pulled back, “Nothing? What do you mean?” Armin rolled away stretching, “With all the honey talk and the fact y’all are always spending time together?” Erwin gave him an amused, “As opposed to actively avoiding him and being rude? We just got to know each other really well while we were the only ones here. We had a lot of fun.” Erwin shrugged rolling off the bed to pull on his pants.

Armin watched him, “What kind of fun?” Erwin gave him another amused look, “Well, don’t tell Levi but we kind of wrecked the house and ate junk food. We barely had it cleaned by the time y’all got here.” Armin shifted, slightly amused at the confession, “Oh, yeah. Eren loves his junk food. How did the deer happen?” Erwin sat back on the bed, “We went hiking,” Armin raised an eyebrow, “You went hiking?” “Yes, he wanted to go. When we stopped for lunch,” “You had a picnic?” Armin’s voice rose higher, “I wouldn’t call it that. We saw the deer family and it was hurt and Eren just went over and,” Erwin sighed fondly, “scooped the little guy up. I told him Levi would freak out but he just brought it home and that’s that.”

Erwin watched Armin’s face closely, “Baby, are you jealous?” Armin rolled over and off the bed, “No, it’s just….something is off. I guess I was just curious.” Erwin walked over to Armin grabbing him up into his arms and off the floor peppering his face and neck with kisses, “Nothing’s off. We just got closer, bonded. That’s a good thing, right? You’re being so…so…Levi right now. You two are the ones that changed.” Armin’s skin burned, “How so?” Erwin chewed his lip, “Levi’s being really protective of you. It’s starting to bother me.” Armin had noticed Levi kept him in his sights but that it was bothering Erwin was a whole thing entirely.

Armin tried to be helpful, “Maybe, we should all have a talk?” Erwin smiled, “Sure, that sounds marvelous. I love you, baby. I just missed you so much it hurt more and more every day.” He put Armin back on the floor before he leaned down to kiss him again, Armin’s heart fluttered at the oversaturation of affection, “I wish you’d tell me what happened that bruised you up so bad. Levi said it was a fight with the terrorists but your neck-,” Armin’s mind went into overdrive, “It’s nothing, Erwin. It was just a bad fight.” “Was it?” “Yeah….well..um…” He debated telling him everything but then Erwin turned towards the door, “I gotta go, Eren is waiting on me.” Armin let him go thinking about how he’d have never run off before and how bitter that made him.

*******************

It happened the next day, the levee broke. Of course, Eren and Erwin had thought they’d done nothing wrong. Keeping it to themselves was just out of respect for not flaunting it in front of one another. Levi was in his study dusting the books when he noticed the tube of lube they kept stashed in there was moved and nearly empty. Levi lifted the bottle noting that it wasn’t used that much between them, they preferred either their room or in the shower but this was much lower than before. Sure, Eren could have used some to masturbate but not that much.

Levi went down stairs where Eren was finishing up a project for a review by the vet board. He was really doing well in his classes and even had used Isi in his project. Levi nicked his head to the side holing up the bottle, “Why did you use so much of this?” Eren looked up, brow furrowed, “Um, because, well, you know…..do you want to talk about it? I thought that if I did anything with Erwin you didn’t want to hear about it?” Levi became more confused, “You used this on Erwin? With Erwin? This much?” Eren was still as a statue, “Well, yes…” Levi stood feeling like he was on the precipice of a deep valley, “Eren, what did you and Erwin…do?” Levi groaned internally prepared for a graphic listing on the oral favors they’d exchanged but he was glad that Eren was always so brutally honest and eager to please him. 

”Um well, we used some for hand jobs and the rest for stretching and sex.” Eren mumbled shyly not meeting Levi’s eyes as he blushed. Levi’s world slowed to a stop, “Sex? Like, you had penetrative sex with Erwin Smith?” Eren looked up still shy and flushed but he was too confused to waiver, “Yes? You said you didn’t mind as long as it wasn’t every day and in your face.” Levi wanted to throw up, he wanted to scream. How stupid could Eren be? A fucking 20 year old child. God damn. “Eren,” his tone wavered, “I never said you could have penetrative sex. You misunderstood.” Eren bit his lip, “No, you did.” Levi shook his head welling up with all kinds of emotions, “No, think about it. Really think about it.”

Eren started to think about it. They had been in the lab and talking for a long time and then something about Erwin and Eren being left alone came up. Eren asked if Erwin approached him or they found themselves both in the situation could they do the things they’d done like when Armin was gone? Levi had said yes, only what they had done and just as long-, “Oh,” Eren’s eyes widened, “Noooo, oh God, I am so sorry. Levi! Please forgive me!” Levi shook his head, tears welling up as he bit them back, “It’s my fault, I didn’t understand what you were asking. I wasn’t really that clear.” Eren stood up, “No! No! I should have known, Levi. I broke the rules. I’m so sorry. Please, please, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.” Eren moved to stand before him, “Please, Levi, don’t hate me.”

Levi wiped his face, “I could never hate you but I’m pretty jealous right now and I want to yell at you so bad but Erwin, Erwin should have said no. You should have asked me, too. Before you did anything you should have checked with me. But, mostly this is mine and Erwin’s fault.” Eren stepped back, “No, it’s my fault. I told him it was okay.” Levi gritted his teeth, “No, he _never_ fucking asked _me_ if it was okay.” He growled the words out, “That’s fucking unacceptable, that asshole.” Eren bit the inside of his cheek, “Please, just….” Levi shook his head, “What? Fuck, Eren, don’t take up for him. Is that how it’s going to be now? Are you going to take up for him and sneak off to sleep with him, too?” Levi’s words were harsh and biting as Eren shook and wrapped his arms around himself, “No! I’m not taking up for him. I just don’t want this to end in a physical fight. I did wrong. I don’t want that to somehow be overlooked.” Levi was still shaking trying to contain his anger, “I can’t believe…..did….did Armin ever give you permission?”

Levi knew he didn’t. He knew that after that night in the apartment in New York if it had been Okayed with him he’d had mentioned it. He didn’t give Eren permission. He was in the same boat as Levi and while Levi was beyond angry and hurt, Armin might just break away into thousand little pieces because he’d been completely overlooked and betrayed. Eren blanched, taking in a harsh gasp of air, “Nooooo….oh God, I-“ The front door slammed and heavy footsteps could be heard. Armin appeared through the opening of the doorway while Erwin was behind on his heels pulling at his shoulder, “Armin, no, listen to me ple-,” Armin’s eyes burned as he made his way across the floor, slapping off Erwin’s hands before he made it to Eren.

Eren moved to square off with Armin, eyes pleading, he held his hands up, “Armin, I’m sorry I-“ Armin punched Eren in the gut so strongly he fell to his knees doubling over gasping for air. Eren started seeing spots and for more than a few seconds he almost succumbed and passed out. Erwin moved but Levi was quicker, grabbing Armin up into a strong hold where he fought him violently, “I can’t anymore. I just fucking can’t,” Armin’s voice was loud, high, manic, “You fucking think so little of me that you don’t even ask or talk to me about this! This! Or anything else. My God, am I that unimportant?!” Armin wheezed as he tried to breathe against Levi’s arms, “I’ve made myself so small. So, fucking small. What for? What for?” Levi started to pull him towards the back door, “No! NO! WHY!? WHY LEVI?! WHY WAS I THE ONLY ONE NO ONE EVEN THOUGHT TO ASK? WHY DIDN’T ANYONE CARE ABOUT HOW I FELT? WHY ARE YOU SO CALM?!” 

Erwin moved towards them, “Levi, let me take him. I-” Levi’s eyes bore into him, “No, you’ve done enough.” Erwin’s body language shifted into an aggressive and defiant stance, “Levi, I know. I wasn’t thinking. Things were strange. We had just re-grew my arm and-“ Armin began manically laughing again, “That arm, that fucking arm. I fucking hate that arm.” Eren and Erwin were taken aback by the statement. Erwin was truly floored, “What?” Armin shuddered as he failed at stifling a sob. He whispered limply in Levi’s arms, “Let me go.” Levi held him tighter, “We need to address this now. I’d love to go away, too. But, we all need to talk about this.” Saying the words hurt Levi and weighed him down but he knew they couldn’t just run away when everyone was so raw and confused and hurt.

”It was partly my fault for not understanding what Eren was asking me before we left. We didn’t re-visit it because our conversation led us to other places. It is absolutely wrong and unacceptable that Erwin did not speak to me before hand and for that, the blame lays on him because he should have told Eren no until he heard from me. What is more upsetting is that, apparently, Armin was somehow forgotten in this whole exchange by the two closest people to him.” Levi’s voice left no room for debate and Erwin was red with anger and shame as he sat down.

Armin was held against Levi on the couch while a visibly uncomfortable Eren sat in another chair and Erwin sat in the other. Armin was crumbling inside, “Eren, why? Why did you do this?” Eren shrugged, “I thought…I don’t know I just….I-“ Armin was so angry, “You know what I fucking think? You’re riding this high right now where everything is fucking working out for you just beautifully and that you’re bulletproof. You’re winning awards, planning a wedding, saving the world and healing the sick. You’re a goddamn Christ. You carry the burden for us all. Self sacrificing yourself for scientific probing and experiments and you just do it all for nothing more than to just do it. Or so you’d have us all think. I know you get off on it. You find satisfaction in being so high and mighty. You’re a fucking narcissist.” Eren visibly recoiled, “I’m sorry, I missed Erwin and-“ “Yeah, I get it. You missed being the center of attention of two men and I bet you missed the light hearted fun Erwin that you’ve all reminded me that I nearly killed,” his voice broke on the word, “and that’s fine, I get it. Maybe if you’d explained it that way to me I would have understood, would have thought it over. But, you didn’t. You’ve always been a sin now, ask for forgiveness later kind of guy. Well, I don’t fucking forgive you. I don’t. And I know there had to be something else that pushed you on.”

Eren was angry. Each word landed home with him and he knew that Armin was right. He’d been an asshole lately. He’d been so self-absorbed that he’d just put his feelings before Armin’s like he wasn’t even here, like he held a higher worth that Armin with Erwin. But, being hurt meant you didn’t always admit to being wrong so easily, “I may have been absorbed lately but to tell me I have a Christ complex,” “YOU FUCKING DO! And you know you’ve been absorbed! I came home and Eren, honestly, have we been as close? Aside from the necessary information have you taken the time to just come be with me and,” “And what?! HOLD YOUR FUCKING HAND!?” “JUST ASK ME HOW I’M DOING!” 

”I THOUGHT YOU WANTED SPACE! I THOUGHT YOU DIDN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!” Eren gripped the chair, “But, also, just throwing it out there, does it really seem like me sleeping Erwin would be something that someone would say “Oh, No! Armin would absolutely hate that?” No, because you’re pretty much okay with anything and your always the one to open up to new things sexually,” “So, to you I’m just this hedonist that would be okay with sharing my fiancée because hell, I’d fuck anyone or do any base sexual favor with anyone and anything?” “Yeah, kind of.” 

Eren shook his head, “No. No I didn’t mean it like that.” Armin just stared at him. The room so silent a pin could be heard if it fell, “I think you did. I think that’s just what you were hoping for, that is.” The silence returned before Eren looked back up Armin, “That’s not what I think. I was just mad.” Armin shrugged, _that’s been the trend. I use my body and try to supplement love or gain it or manipulate with it and that’s fine isn’t it? Because other people see me as only good for that and…Not to mention when did loving sex make me a horrible person? I enjoy it, I like it, it’s a healthy thing. Fuck this promiscuous moral backlash._ “In my life, I’ve pretty much only good for sex. Maybe I just held out hope that wasn’t the deciding factor in why you did what you did. But, for the record, liking sex doesn’t make me a bad person or a morally corrupt person. That’s your own internal prejudice being projected onto me. How about you do some internal reflection and stop making judgments based of pre-existing outdated pseudo-morality. You are a college academic award winner, Eren. Are my lack of accolades another tally in the column of dirty hedonist without a moral compass?”

Eren’s eye swam with emotion, “Armin, that’s not true.” He wiped his eyes, “I’m sorry. I didn’t…I didn’t ask you how you were doing because I just…wanted to pretend that it never happened and you were fine. But, you also never came to me. It’s not a one way street and that doesn’t absolve me of my short comings but you could have come to me and said you weren’t okay.” “When?” “I don’t know.” “You avoided me.” Eren felt sick. He was right, he had avoided him, “I know.” “So you admit it?” “Yes, I avoided you. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. But, my best friend was so different and I was scared I’d never get him back. I was scared I’d only make it worse. We say it often, but I really do love you. I just didn’t know how to help you or if I even could.” Armin was looking at the floor again. 

Levi patted Armin’s knee somewhat awkwardly but that was partly because he wanted to scream about just how much Armin was really holding back in order for everyone else to live somewhat comfortably and how hard it was for him to personally know these things and to have also not been considered at all by the two people closest to him. “Armin has held a lot back in order to keep us all from being weighed down by too much. He’s buried it deeply and I think that we should have all taken the time to ask him about his time over there and what happened that didn’t just pertain to the case.” Erwin watched as Levi put his arm around Armin’s shoulder and offered him a Kleenex from the side table. 

He burned with anger and jealousy that Levi knew things he didn’t and at the accusations that he didn’t take the time to talk to Armin about his experiences, “But he’s already told you, right? That’s why you’re on your high horse about all that you know and you were told. You’re making a fucking dig at me. You’re pushing my buttons to hurt me.” Levi’s fangs were growing, “He’s your lover and you clearly wanted to pretend that he was fine when he said he was fine because how you could be in relationship with him that left you alone with him for all these days and countless hours and not have known that something was up is fucking beyond my comprehension. I know when Eren is fucking constipated, let alone hiding something or repressing something TO SAVE MY MOTHERFUCKING FEELINGS, YOU SHITHEAD!”

”When we got here, both Armin and I knew something up. Why you, Erwin, thought that not telling me was okay…I can’t even describe how that makes me feel.” Erwin sat back in his chair biting back petty remarks, “I know. I fucked up, Levi. I just…Eren was right, I missed him like that and I missed how close we were. When Armin came back all of my attention was on him the way it should be but then y’all left. When Eren and I spent time together and I was feeling normal again I was really able to appreciate aspects of his personality that I couldn’t when I was devastated about the loss of Armin.” Armin shook crying quietly, “So,” his voice small and pitiful, “I’m not enough?” Erwin slumped forward, falling on his knees to the floor, eyes full of tears, face white washed, “You are my everything. I nearly died when I lost you. It isn’t like that.” 

Eren wiped his face, “It’s nice, how close we’ve become. We wanted you two to be able to be as close as this because I feel like having this stand alone friendship is really helpful.” Levi recoiled, “How so? You’re basically dating if you’re fucking. We agreed not to share like that. I don’t want to worry that you’re involved with Erwin emotionally like you are with me or that you’ll want to leave me for him.” Armin shook more, _Levi has had the same feelings as me._ Eren laughed exhausted from this conversation’s turn, “My God, no. It’s not like that. How do Armin and I know that you won’t leave us for one another? How were y’all ever sure Armin and I wouldn’t leave you two to be together? What’s with this double standard? How are we okay with this? I don’t dislike our relationship at all, I love you Levi, Erwin knows that you’re who I belong to. I talked his ears off about you, we talked about him and Armin. When I missed you, the entire time you were gone I missed you, he was there to make it more bearable.”

“He spent hours dreaming about his wedding to Armin. We’re not in love with each other, though, I realize that now I hold a very special place for him in my heart and a special love for him. That started when Armin died, when I thought it would be us three for the rest of our lives. I always saw you and I as the main relationship but I was prepared to accept Erwin into our life and be devoted to him like you would have been. If I had died, I would have wanted that for you and Armin. I want that for y’all.”

Armin looked at Levi, _Is this love?_ Levi’s voice was barely audible, a whisper only for him and perhaps Armin if he listened close enough, “We already have that.” Armin turned to Erwin, “But, you still never asked. I can’t let that go and forgive you right now. I’m too angry. I feel really betrayed. If Levi and I had been sleeping together how would that have made you feel, honestly?” Erwin’s lips were a thin line while he pondered it, “Angry, fighting mad, and jealous.” He looked at his hands in his lap before looking back up, “I’m such a selfish person.” Erwin diverted his gaze before remembering something, “But, have you really been keeping things to yourself?” Armin stood up, towering over Erwin, “When you lost your arm I lost the minute opportunity to the right to be selfish about the things that happened to me. Now, I just have to ask myself if anything I did was worth anything at all or if I had just thought about it longer could I have avoided everything.” His chest heaved as he sighed, Levi stood up, words about to overflow and betray Armin’s trust, “I don’t care what you two do.” Eren shook his head, “Yes, you do.” Armin looked at Erwin still on his knees, “I’m suddenly very tired.” Armin moved around Erwin and left the house through the front door.

_You don’t see me at all._  



	53. Worship on my lips

When Jean pulled up to the house Armin was already at the end of the driveway almost on the main road. He pulled over to the side rolling his window down, “Get in.” Armin cast him a defiant gaze, “Get in.” He said it again but still nothing. Jean closed his eyes before opening them, his temper flaring. “Get in, Armin! I’m not taking you to the house.” Armin looked around road and the pastures across from the house. Jean thought he’d have to pull him in but Armin turned and opened the door. Jean looked him over, “It’s too cold and you don’t have a jacket.” Armin sat in the seat, he grumbled sourly, “I don’t need a jacket. It’s only 55.” Jean turned off onto the highway, “You would have tonight.”

Jean drove them to the state park where in winter few people rented the small remote cabins. They were separated from the more updated ones tailgaters normally rented for game day weekends. He knew a ranger, Amanda, who let him rent one free of charge because she was just glad to have something to do in the off season. He had his gear in his truck from staying in one with Marco while working on the book, Marco had thought that the seclusion would do them good but instead they’d just spent their time making love and eating smores. After signing a waiver not to go hiking at night they were off. 

Once inside they stopped at the only convenience store that doubled as a small produce store and got a few things for tonight and tomorrow. Jean and Armin moved swiftly up and down the aisles grabbing what they needed wordlessly from all their years as scouts. At the cabin Jean started a fire and spread the sleeping bags out on the full-size bed. The pillows were in decent shape and it beat making due with the flimsy airport ones he kept in his bag so he changed the linens on cabin’s and stuck the others in their small bag. While he worked, Armin just moved along the room like a zombie before heading to the bathroom. Jean made him leave the door open.

When he returned Jean started to prepare dinner, “Here, help me by making the patties for burgers while I get the grill going. Eggs and milk and all that are in the fridge for the morning.” Armin stood obediently forming the round patties till he returned. Once they cooked them and ate, Jean turned on the small radio and they listened to music together playing a game of scrabble. But, Armin’s heart wasn’t into it and Jean ended up beating him more than normal. At around 11:00 Jean leaned back and told Armin it was probably time they at least lay down and talk. Then they should try to get some sleep.

Armin laid down under the blankets with him and sighed a long exasperated sigh, “Is it wrong to talk about the horrible things that happened to me personally when I chose to enter into that cell and play dead?” Jean snorted, “No.” Armin’s face was drawn in confusion, “Why? How can you decide that so quickly?” Jean thought about it, “Because, we never know if the choices we make are the right ones. But, at the same time you can’t regret them.” Armin snorted, “You sound like Levi.” “Because, Armin, he’s right. You entering into the cell was a sacrifice that not a lot would have been able to make and honestly, I don’t think I would have had the balls to do what you did. Do you think what you did was wrong?” Armin felt that suffocating dread well up, “Maybe.” Jean sighed, “Ah ha, that’s the root of the problem right there. You won’t share what happened because you think you’d be moaning about fruitless endeavor and therefore, you would actually be to blame for what happened to you and that means you must live with that guilt because to talk about it would be pointless.” Armin quivered, “Yeah.” His voice was pitiful in the darkness and it sounded like a choked sigh. 

Jean rolled over to look at him in the dark, “But, that’s actually not true, Armin. Because, we learned so much from what you did and found out while over there. So maybe the reasons you did it turned out to be misplaced or not as clear? Whatever. Ultimately, it was fruitful. I know that because David sings your praises all the time when I’m with him. The guys working on the case do, too. Marco’s family’s network has solved problems for other people because of the info they’ve discovered on the search for your information. You’ve impacted lives without knowing it. It wasn’t fruitless. It’s just that the focus has shifted, or rather, the end result was unforeseen. You can talk about it, moan about it, whatever. It’s your right.” Armin whined slightly, “I don’t know if it is.” 

”Did you think that because Erwin lost his arm you couldn’t be open about your own pain?” Armin let out a small sob, “Uh huh.” Jean wiped his face as best he could without being able to see, “He’s fine now. That problem is solved. And don’t even start on the well if not for science it wouldn’t because that’s just a what-if and not the reality. He’s fine now and you’re not. You’re really hurt. And what hurts the most is that no one’s asked you how you’re doing, right?” Armin lost it, crying and wiping his face, burying it into the crook of his elbow slung over his face, “Yeah.” Jean held him closer, “Did you tell Levi?” Armin sniffled, “W-why?” “I just got the vibe when you two showed up the other day that something had happened. He’s been trying to hover around you protectively. I need to apologize for not asking you how you’ve been. I think I figured Erwin was the best remedy.”

Armin huffed, “You did ask, Marco did too. I just thought I couldn’t…” Jean held him tighter, “What happened? How are you? Let me ask now, because you’re starting to scare me.” Armin sighed, “Eren and Erwin slept together.” Jean moved away putting his hands beneath his pillow, “I see. Hmmm…well, that’s not really that bad.” Armin laughed bitterly, “Jean! Explain.” Jean hummed, “Because, I thought it would happen. I thought they’d get together sometimes and you and Levi because y’all are in this poly-amorous relationship anyway. I understand that the main things are between you and Erwin and Eren and Levi. But, I never understood why it was okay for them to sleep together and you and Eren but not Eren and Erwin and you and Levi. I just figured y’all hadn’t talked about it and eventually y’all would. I don’t really see anything wrong with it. It would just ultimately make you all closer, or that’s what I’ve gathered from your set up.” Jean ran his fingers through his undercut pulling at the top longer layers, “How do you feel about it?”

”What if he likes being with Eren better? What if he loves him more than me?” Jean snorted, “Erwin? I don’t think he even has be ability to love someone more than you. It’s probably just fun and bonding for him. He talks about you non-stop, Arm. I mean, it gets so annoying sometimes. I love you, deeply, but damn if I have to hear, “Armin likes that or I wonder if Armin has tried that or if he’d want this or did you know Armin said this or made the cutest face the other day” I will scream. What’s worse is when we thought you were dead and he didn’t speak his silence was loud. It was so loud it screamed. “Armin’s not here.” And being around him was like a constant reminder that we’d all lost something precious. He doesn’t love Eren like that and I don’t think he’d ever love anyone like that. When you were gone they didn’t fall in love and that’s when they would have had the perfect time to do so. He can’t love anyone more than you. He wants to marry you. Don’t you know that? He respects you”

”Neither asked me if it was okay.” Armin interjected leaving Jean’s mouth open and his mind spinning, “Really?” Armin rolled on his side facing him, “Really. Is that respect?” Jean’s brow furrowed, “No, that’s not. That’s wrong and very surprising.” Jean bit his lip, “I know this sounds really stupid but…I feel like we’ve known each other….for a long, long time. As in, like we’ve known each other all in past lives. Like, this is destiny. I know, sounds like a crock of shit and it totally probably is but you and Erwin are on another wavelength like Levi and Eren and me and Marco. I can’t even imagine myself without him and I don’t think that now that you’ve met Erwin you could imagine living without him. Honestly, you two moved so quickly it was crazy. He had flowers filling every free space in the dorm and he spoils you rotten.” Armin’s eyes narrowed, he remembered David’s words, “But is that respect?” Jean closed his eyes, “In Erwin’s world, it is. He wouldn’t waste his time on frivolous endeavors and he wouldn’t just commit to any sugar baby. It’d never work. I know that he respects you because you literally have the last say in everything.”

”I don’t think so.” Jean snorted again, “Armin, pleeeeaaaseeee. You can have anything you want if you’d just tell him. That’s the issue; you’re not telling him what you want and how you want it. You think you’re so bossy and naggy but not really. And it’s not bossing or nagging to be honest and open.” “This coming from someone who is so honest he is often found in hot water?” Jean grinned, “Yep, me and this big honest mouth. I think he didn’t ask you because he was caught up in the moment and that he just simply missed Eren and wanted to be close to him like he does Levi. I don’t think he’s harboring secret love for Eren and I believe that he wouldn’t have crossed that line with him if he thought it would hurt y’all’s relationship or if he was even slightly at risk of falling in love with him.”

Jean paused chewing on the inside of his cheek, “Would you sleep with Levi?” Armin’s bottom lip trembled and he scrunched up his nose, “I don’t know.” Jean stroked the side of his face before putting his hands under his pillow again, “Are you afraid you’d fall in love with Levi?” Armin had worried about that. _Is this love?_ “Maybe. I don’t know.” Jean didn’t have the reaction he thought he would have. He simply shrugged, “Well, then, my point is made. Erwin wouldn’t have done it, Eren wouldn’t have done, neither would have done it if they thought it was going to hurt either relationship. I think that this is a time where trusting the person you’re in a relationship with is crucial and their judgment seems on point. You have this reservation and you didn’t sleep with Levi while away, did you?” 

Armin cringed, “No, we didn’t have sex. We just shared a bed.” _And I let him use me and abuse me and make me submit to him and his power._ “But, you two did something, or else I wouldn’t notice the change in his behavior. Did you two get into a fight?” Armin didn’t want to lie completely and that was partially true, “Yeah.” Jean wasn’t buying it, “That’s why you two look so bad. You beat each other up?” Armin nodded timidly, “Yeah.” Jean rolled his eyes, “You asked him to do it, to fight you. You two basically crossed a line in your own way. Don’t pretend you didn’t.” Armin opened his mouth and then closed it. He opened it again, “I just asked him to hurt me.” Jean hummed, “Oh, I see. SO,” he sighed, “You two played. Did it make you feel better?” “Yes.” “You think it’d be good to do it often?” “Yeah.” “Do you think if you and Levi had met first, you two would have gotten together and fallen in love?” “W-what? I don’t know.” “Then maybe you should mull that over and we can pick up there in the morning. I’m really sleepy, Armin.” ****************** 

The next morning Jean awoke to an empty bed. He stoked the fire, took a quick cold shower, and then started breakfast. Armin was probably outside, his keys were still on the side table and there was no note saying he’d left him. He looked outside before removing his phone: 3 missed phone calls from Marco. He dialed his number waiting for him to pick up. A sleepy voice appeared on the other end, “Hello, Jean? Where are you?” A long sigh, “You have Armin don’t you?” Jean told Marco that he did and he’d be bringing him home tonight or tomorrow. Marco wished him luck, told him he missed him, and made him promise to not do or say anything stupid. 

**********************

Outside Armin sat down under one of the oldest trees in the area. He looked at the leaves and the foliage, listened to the stream bubble nearby, and then after almost an hour he saw a buck wander through the trees in front of him. Dark russet fur, horns mighty and held up proudly as it crossed through the woods. He waited, barely breathing as it came closer. It seemed to watch him as he moved to stand. Would it charge him? Do they charge? He couldn’t remember right then, not when he was in awe of the creature before him. Would Isi grow to be like this? Eren couldn’t possibly have hoped to contain him forever. These creatures needed to be free, they needed to meet their kind, raise families, live in communities. He had a sudden thought about his own situation. _Wasn’t that what they were ultimately doing? Forming a community and family where they’d raise kids and love each other, lift each other up, and be there for each other emotionally?_

Armin kept his back to the tree, the grays and greens blending together. _Is this what Levi had seen barreling down that cliff?_ It was cold; his breath formed small white clouds as he exhaled. The buck approached, a twelve point at least. It was massive and its footsteps crunched as it made its way over to him and through the layer of leaves that littered the ground this far off a trail. 

Its eyes watched him carefully as it lowered its head to sniff at the air around his chest. Armin moved ever so slowly to place his hand on its snout like he’d done the horses from his home town. It bent into his touch. With a little more confidence, he moved along its side stroking the thick fur watching as the individual strands moved and separated, the highs and lows of the hair color catching and blending in the bare bits of light that trickled its way down through the canopy on the cloudy day. He listened to its breaths, he tried to mimic them laying his head on the side of it, listening for a heart beat as he moved his hand to the top of its back petting it. Armin’s eyes shone, his mind was blank, he was calm, his chest wasn’t tight and that dull ache wasn’t there anymore. He stood there with the buck nuzzled up close for God only knows how long, time stood still for him as he tried to let it all go, flow out of him like a waterfall, make peace, take the words that Jean had spoken and make them law. 

By the time Jean found him Armin standing in the woods near a large tree, eyes teary, and hands gripping at the bottom of his shirt. “It’s okay, Jean. I just wanted to sit and I tried to not go far off the trail.” Jean merely shook his head, eyes narrowed and suspicious, “You good now?” Armin lifted his head to meet his gaze, “Yeah, I’m good now.”

*******************

Jean and Armin ate breakfast in relative silence aside from Armin asking how Mila’s book was doing. Jean talked at length about how publishers were now fighting over it after it sparked real interest in focus groups. Armin and the others hadn’t read it yet, it was a surprise. They were waiting till Mila was able to receive it and then they’d pass it to the others. Marco had mentioned that he was in it and Armin was really excited. Jean started to clear away the dishes and clean up, “So, have you given what we talked about any more thought?”

Armin sat near the fire, “I did.” Jean wiped the plates, “You gunna finish?” Armin shrugged, “Where do you want me to start?” Jean finished the dishes putting them away. “I’ll start. Out of the three who do you think you have the most in common with?” Armin rocked in the chair, “Erwin?” Jean made a noise like a buzzer, “WRONG.” Armin’s eyes narrowed, “Eren?” The noise again, “Levi, Levi and you have a lot in common. The most, I’d say. Marco and I were talking about it one day. You and Erwin are like twins sometimes but deep down inside you relate more emotionally to Levi. You understood all kinds of things Eren and Erwin didn’t when he was deaf and you can crack his ass up without trying. Y’all have moments of understanding on a deeper level that we’re all left out of. It’s actually why it works out between you all. Eren wants Levi to adore him, he showers Levi in affection, wants to please him, waits on him even if Levi tells him not to, he thinks of him constantly, keeps getting him nick nacks with meaning, and more. When Levi gives him attention he preens and you can’t say that it’s one sided because Levi knows how to treat Eren and he knows this withholding affection and then dishing it out makes Eren really happy. Who does that sound like?” Armin understood, “Sounds like Erwin…oh…Jean….wow.”

Jean nodded drinking his coffee, “Yup, wow.” He stretched, sighing exaggeratedly while smirking, “Yeeeeeeep and its moments like this I live for.” Armin was still trying to cope with this revelation, “Like what?” “Rare moments like this when I’m right and Armin the brain is wrong.” Armin smirked, “Sometimes Pinky has his day.” Jean laughed smiling his same dashing lopsided smile. Armin covered his face sighing, “God, I’m so stupid.” Jean nodded, “Really would appear that way. You freaking out that Erwin would fall out of love with you is ridiculous. You once again hold all the cards in that department. Also, honestly, do you really think you’d ever fall out of love with him? I asked you if you had met Levi first do you think you two would be in love together. I asked because I think that’s true. But, I don’t think that it’d be so clear if Erwin was still in the picture and if Eren was involved.”

Armin sat back, “I thought about it last night. If I had met Levi and he and I had gotten to know each other, then yes we would have been together like you said. But, I think that if Erwin had come along and Eren, well, then, we’d have broken up. Because he’d have fit better with Eren and I absolutely love Erwin with every fiber. I am attracted to him like a moth to a flame. I think Levi and I could only ever be together in a world they didn’t exist in.” Jean smiled, “Are you thankful they’re here?” Armin smiled back, “I’m very thankful that they exist. I think you were right. We’ve known each other forever and we’re all destined to be together, linked, whatever you want to call it. It wasn’t really that big of a deal, the sex, in hind sight. The big issue is that I was left out of communication completely. I know I’m to blame for not being more open about how left out I’ve felt and I didn’t call Eren out when I needed to on the things he was doing so he just kept doing them. Not saying anything is kind of like giving permission, I guess.”

Jean shrugged, “I don’t know. That’s a tricky conversation. You know what you should do?” Armin shrugged, “Go away together.” Armin wrinkled his nose, “What?” Jean pushed off the counter walking over to the other chair, “You and Eren.” Armin nodded, “I miss him. I miss how we were.” Jean looked sad, “Yeah, he’s kind of been an ass lately even to me. He just….he’s just going through a phase. We need to call him on his shit but do it in a nice way. He doesn’t really want to hurt us. We need to be really strong and supportive in the coming months.” Armin’s brow furrowed, “I agree but….you sound like you know something.” Jean’s face became hard. “Let’s just be nice to him.”

Armin knew there was more, “Jean, we don’t keep secrets.” Jean broke, he always did with Armin, “I’ll tell you if you tell me what happened with Abulafia that hurt you so bad.” Armin recoiled biting his lips, “Jean.” Jean stayed strong, “That’s the deal. It stays here. Nothing leaves, swear it.” Armin looked him the eye, “Well….If you want me to swear then it must be bad. I’ll swear it, Jean.” Armin paused, “Abulafia raped me…a lot. It’s really messed me up and I don’t really know how to….get better.” Jean jerked in the chair, face blanching, “A-a-armin.” Jean felt ill and outraged, “My God, Armin.” He was so angry at everything. His fist balled up, eyes stung, he was fighting mad, “Aaarrrmiiinnnnnn, ooooooh.” Armin stood up walking over to Jean to wipe his face and hug him, “Don’t be upset Jean,” his delicate voiced cooed, “you couldn’t have done anything. It’s my fault. I should have done something. I could have maybe-“ Jean pulled him closer, “DON’T FUCKING BLAME YOURSELF, ARMIN! You’re a victim!” 

Jean’s words were so needed. He felt better hearing them but that same guilt and contradicting emotions and blame made him not accept or relish in the feeling for long, “Do…do you think so?” Jean rocked in his chair, “You are.” He pulled Armin’s face closer noticing that he wasn’t really accepting that. Jean was livid and upset, “DAMN, THIS IS WHAT YOU’VE BEEN HIDING!? YOU’VE BEEN THINKING YOU DESERVED IT? BECAUSE WHY? THERE WAS A .001% CHANCE YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED IT? WHAT VICTIM HASN’T THOUGHT THAT BUT YOU WOULDN’T ACTUALLY SAY THEY WERE TO BLAME IF THE SHOE WAS ON THE OTHER FOOT WOULD YOU?” Armin stared downwards, moving his hands to rest on Jean’s shoulders, “No,” he managed out weakly. Jean’s eyes were hard and his words even harder, “Then stop torturing yourself.” Jean’s words fell on Armin who held on to him for fear he’d be swallowed by the abyss.

No, he wouldn’t have blamed anyone else who was raped for being raped. Maybe he had been too hard about the chances that could have led him to not being in the situation. Maybe this was his own psychological baggage from his childhood and maybe this was just him punishing himself. Why was he punishing himself? Why was he so self-deprecating and self-destructive? Why did he think that he didn’t deserve love? He was loved, loved beyond comprehension by wonderful friends and Eren, Erwin, and Levi were his.

**They were his.**

_You’ll wear this white ribbon to remember that whoever spills their seed has committed murder._

Armin gasped at the memory.

Armin needed to speak with Levi and he needed to right things with Eren and Erwin. He needed to do so much and Jean had once again come through for him when no one else could. Armin leaned down grabbing his face and kissing him quickly and chastely, “You’ve always been smarter than me. Thank you helping me.” Jean laughed somewhat weakly, “Wow, to hear you say that really strokes my ego.” Armin smiled, “Tell me your secret?” Jean started to tear up again, “Eren’s mother….she’s got cancer and she’s not going to tell him till after the wedding.” Armin felt horrible, like he was losing his own mother and then to think that Eren didn’t know, “Oh God.” He welled up with sadness and tears. Jean shook his head, “Yeah. Fuck.”

**************

When Jean and Armin returned to the house late that night Eren was in the foyer waiting for them, “Armin.” He looked horrible, like he’d not slept and he’d just cried and cried ever since he’d walked out that door. It hurt Armin. “Armin, I’m so sorry. I’ve been thinking and-“ Armin walked forward and wrapped his arms around him nuzzling against him and burying his face in the crook of his neck. Eren stopped talking, taking his arms and desperately gripping onto Armin burying his face in his hair. They stood in the foyer holding one another as Jean stood to the side, “Eren, I told Armin this and I mean it. You two need to spend time together and get back to your old relationship. You need to spend more time with all of us and stop being such a martyr. We don’t want you nailed to a cross and away from us any time soon. We love you. You wanted me to let you help when I was burning out so let us help you and let us help Armin.”

Eren looked at Jean, “Yeah, I know. I will, we’ll do it, all of it, everything you’re saying is true and I just want this to be back to where it was. Jean, I’ve barely spent any time with you either. I don’t know. I just got so scared when you ran off that time I thought…I thought with you and Armin now back that if I stayed away, put space between us, it might not hurt as bad when or if something happened to either of you. It was selfish. I was scared. I am still scared. I just threw myself into work.” Jean walked over stroking his hair lovingly with a small soft smile, “We’re not going anywhere and pushing people away doesn’t make prevent the pain of loss and it isn’t right to do to those you love. It hurts everyone more than necessary. Just stop.” Jean hugged both of them, “We’re going to be fine, us three are going to be fine.”

Armin moved out of the hug taking Eren’s hand, “I’m not angry anymore. I’m hurt but, I just want this to be something that in the end makes us better. Jean gave me a lot to think about.” Eren squeezed his hand tighter, “You’re a part of my soul. I should have taken better care of you and our relationship because to hurt you is to hurt myself. I was foolish and you’re right, I thought I was bulletproof. I can’t believe I avoided you but Armin I just didn’t know and still don’t know how to….” Armin smiled softly, knowingly, “Reach out and touch someone in their loneliness?” Eren’s eyes became bigger, face brightening, “Yeah, exactly. That’s exactly how I feel.” Armin shrugged, “I need to find Erwin. We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?” Eren smiled, “Okay, versprochen (promised).” Armin smiled brighter, “Versprochen.”

******************

Upstairs he hesitated knocking on the door standing in the hallway. Levi came out of his room in his sleepwear, stopping to look at Armin who looked back meeting his gaze. A moment passed between them, another promise. Levi moved to head downstairs where he would wipe Eren’s nose and face before wrapping him up in his arms and singing to him as he rested against his chest. Levi just wanted to hold him.

Armin opened the door finding the record player out of the closet with a Chopin record playing softly. Erwin sat on the bed against the headboard with his glasses, plain white Hanes t-shirt and white boxers on with countless loose sheets of paper in a pile on his lap. The crystal bottle of scotch glistened in the light of the bedside lamp dreamily and the plush duvet they’d changed for the bitterly cold winter fell and rose softly in great billows. Armin walked in and Erwin looked up. He looked relieved to see him, exhaling sharply like he’d not taken a breath since he left, “You came back.” Armin nodded, “I’m gunna change and be right back, okay?” Erwin nodded watching him longingly as he disappeared into the closet and then the bathroom where he heard him wash his face and brush his teeth.

When Armin returned, oversized grey Maria University shirt and small green shorts on Erwin had a very strange look on his face. Armin stopped at the foot of the bed leaning on one foot and then the other. Erwin cleared his throat, “David called me. He said he felt like he needed to.” Armin’s hair was back in a pony tail and he played with it pulling it to the side, “He did?” Erwin looked shameful, “He was right. I don’t ask you things I should. I’ve been really inattentive. You’re a lot like…..and I hate to say this because it really opens Pandora’s Box for me psychologically, but you’re a lot like Levi on the inside, aren’t you?” Armin snorted quietly, “I’ve been told that just recently myself and I’ve have to agree. You’re a lot like Eren, aren’t you?” Erwin nodded, “Wow, yeah. That would fit with what we discovered these three weeks. We’re both pretty dumb when it comes to you two but we’re hopelessly in love.” 

Armin wanted to laugh but that seemed rude, “Levi and I aren’t blameless.” He offered quietly. Erwin shrugged, “Its cats and dogs.” Armin quirked an eyebrow tilting his head to the side and resting his foot up on the wood in the front of the mattress, “How so?” Erwin squared the papers in his lap together, “We’re outgoing dog type personalities. Loyal and loving and rambunctious and overpowering and we just want to be loved so badly by the people we admire and respect and well, you and Levi are cats. You choose who you like but only after they pass your tests. You test and test and test until you decide that it’s enough but you’re often testing without that person knowing and you evade us and taunt us by withholding affection and you’re cunning and easily scared and we just want to protect you and you’re fierce, so fierce it scares us because we’re not that capable, not like y’all. You’re beautiful, exotic, smart, refined, and were mesmerized, completely helpless against you but we love it. We’re poisoned by you and we love it.” Erwin looked down at his lap again. 

Armin sighed following his gaze,”What are those?” Erwin blushed, “I wrote these tiny things when you were gone, when I was meeting with Marco and he’d ask me to write my thoughts down. I thought maybe…maybe they’d reveal something to me that would inspire me and I could….I don’t know….I wanted to be prepared for anything.” Armin moved to his side of the bed sitting on the edge against his thigh, “Can I see?” Erwin gripped the pages looking up shyly, “You won’t make fun of them, right? They’re just ramblings from a man in mourning.” Armin took the first few pages, “I would never make fun of anything you did, Erwin Smith.” He said the words honestly and convincingly as Erwin relented and let him read the first few pages:

_  
I pray to you like a saint for strength. I pray to you like some far off deity I wish to meet some day, only for one soft moment where we share in the hazy sunlight that fills an empty café with warm ceramic between our fingers. I imagine you smiling shyly despite my awkward forward personality and loud disposition that is often attributed with my nationality. I go to that place where you live in my mind and heart and it is there I seek the calmness that your blessed peace can give me.  
_

_  
On the dais of the world I light candles for you in a daze of Latin and song on my tongue and worship on my lips  
_

_  
What I miss about you are the small truths you revealed to me about myself. If I were to be so lucky to ever be near such a soul as yours I would think that all of my wounds and pangs would be healed.  
_

_  
I miss you, but this is only a season and soon we shall speak again. I wish you everything, the best, the superb, the marvelous. Yours forever, Erwin Smith.  
_

_  
Often I wish you were near and in a way you are. You travel on the winds across the sea, a crisp cool breeze, the smell of the divine. For you are by my side the same way we are all tied together by this collective attachment that comes from sentiment born from emotions of the heart and then compounded by the depth of the soul. I reach out; wonder if we’ve breathed the same air. I close my eyes and hope that you are well.  
_

_  
You are the fine white lace that hides the nubile face of a young convert impelled to a life of pure and sincere devotion. A blinding white light of alabaster stone and accented blues of piety that tear through mosaics of saints and angels ripping into the narrative of self-sacrifice and martyrdom. You are a holiness that leaves all in awe. What a religious experience you are for the mind. To describe you leaves me: wordless.  
_

_  
In the darkness I reach out with much a tender feeling. Do you still dream of vermillion and cyan foxes?  
_

_  
I read the stars for you. I tie a knot for you as I say the Ben Yossef. I dream of Swedish snow, tall trees in the forest of dogwood, lakes without shores of pearl black waters, and of late I think of your petal soft lips and I wonder if you’ll ever be born again. I would wait a thousand more lifetimes for just one more kiss.  
_

The page popped with the sound of his tears as they fell upon them, “Erwin, oh Erwin. You wrote these beautiful things? For me? About me? You think these things?” Erwin nodded, “And so much more.” Armin wiped his face as Erwin reached over for a tissue and then set to wiping his face tenderly, admiring his love. His eyes are beautiful blue, Erwin loves them. They are like the clear unadulterated sky. Something he felt he’d earned after years behind walls. He is the ocean, endless and unconfined. Armin is freedom and he hasn’t even explored half of him. _I love him so much that I’d die for him._

”Tell me what happened.”


	54. Sprich mit mir, Baby.

Armin’s hand found Erwin’s taking it out from under the covers to hold it. He sighed, “Okay, let me first just say that I talked about it with Jean and it really doesn’t bother me that you and Eren slept together” He paused, “or if you do from time to time in the future. But, that means that I expect the same from you. If Levi and I want to sleep together and have this side super intimate friendship then you have to be okay with that or it’s a no go. I won’t budge on this. We’re all together and I realized that I like that. I like that when I was gone or if I were to die before you three when we’re super old that Eren would treat you well and take care of you just like Levi. I think I was scared for a few reasons but mostly, I thought you’d fall in love with Eren and want to only be with him and then I was afraid of committing fully.” 

Armin paused as Erwin opened his mouth before closing it. “You can say something.” “Why would committing scare you?” “Because I’d be admitting and accepting to myself that you three were my partners, my family, my lovers, my friends, my everything. You’d not just be my husband, Erwin. You’re already so much more to me than that. You’re a dream come true, you’re safety, you’re my future home. I want to build a home in you and with you. We’re all going to raise kids together, live together, and be together. I’m used to being left, I’m used to being an afterthought and my family was only ever a surrogate like the Jaegers or just my Opa. Three people I love without abandon and one them to be my ultimate devotion and salvation, my only, my true love, is daunting and scary.”

“I carry a lot of baggage from my childhood that only until last night did I really understand. My parents were, are, absolutely everything I never want to be to my future children. Because this is so serious to me I have anxiety. What if I mess something up or fall short? I’m trying to take what Jean said to heart and let it go, move on, embrace it all and trust your judgment in this that you think it won’t hurt us but make us stronger. I’m trying. I am more committed now than ever even if there is a chance of getting seriously emotionally hurt.”

Erwin smiled reassuringly, “What else? I know it’s not all.” Armin chewed the inside of his cheek thinking, “I’ve been feeling really left out since I got back. I tried to tell myself that it was going to take time and that I should give it time but it became harder and harder. When you lost your arm I had considered telling you about what my time was like over there. But, I kept putting it off and off until the day of surgery and then I thought, well, this isn’t a good day so I’ll tell him once his arm is better and that way he’ll also be feeling better.” Armin paused, “But then you lost your arm and I just couldn’t tell you anymore. I thought, how could I be so selfish? And then that turned into: I deserved what happened to me because look at what happened to the man I love because of my choices.”

Erwin covered their hands, “Armin, I must insist that I interject here as well. When I lost my temper and blamed you, that wasn’t true. This was something that could have happened at any time. In fact, it is actually a good thing that it happened because I am healed now and I mean really healed. David and I talked for a long time about guilt and projection and he was right. I projected my insecurities onto you because,” Erwin turned the words over, “I didn’t feel like a man, not a man you’d want and I thought you’d resent that I was now this cripple. I’d be an old crippled soldier long before you and that made me really insecure. It took a lot of encouragement and working things out with Levi to build my confidence back up in order to sleep with you when you were back and after I’d lost it. I thought, I just knew, that my lack of an arm would disgust you.”

Erwin’s face was sincere and full of shame. Armin shook his head, “Honestly, my issues with you arm were my own. Nothing about it disgusted me or made me think you were less of a man. I could never think that. You’re everything a man should be, in my opinion.” Armin smoothed his thumb over the smooth skin of his hand, “A-ac-ctually that leads me to the next part.” He said the words timidly but loud enough for Erwin to hear. Erwin tried to smile reassuringly, “Go on, Armin. You can tell me anything.” 

Armin had tried to think of how he would introduce this shameful topic but now he was left grasping at the possibility as they fell away through his fingers like bits of sand. “When we were back at the hospital when I got back and they were doing all the necessary tests for diseases and then they asked if I needed a rape kit…” Armin stopped; the words caught in his throat, lodged like wooden blocks, oh how the edges dented in the soft flesh of his throat and cut. He didn’t know where else to go with it, his eyes were teary but he didn’t think he’d sob. He cried so much lately that maybe that was a good thing but maybe not because what would Erwin think about him saying these things and him not crying? Was someone supposed to cry? Was crying weak? What was the protocol?

The bed shifted and the headboard creaked slightly as Erwin sat up more still holding Armin’s hand. When Armin looked over he saw Erwin’s attempt at a neutral expression but the trail of tears streaking down his perfectly defined face made Armin weak. “Um..I….this is hard.” Erwin nodded, “I know.” And oh how he did know. He couldn’t believe that his sweet baby had experienced what he had. He couldn’t believe this rare creature had been hurt like that, touched like that, violated like that. “I’m just…going to try and make it as simple as possible.” He said each word slowly and with much difficulty, “Abulafia,” he paused taking a breath, “was a horrible person.”

“He was obsessed with you and your mother. You were always being watched and he held that over me. You were always a second away from being taken by force. I could not let him bring you there because he was a master of persuasion. _We_ are strong people but he had me wrapped around his finger more than I’d like to admit. I seldom knew fact from fiction. It has….changed me.” Erwin nodded, “He raped me, Erwin. He would make me dress like a woman and then pretend to be your mother. He held your fate in his hands and yes, my guilt comes from me rethinking different plans of action I could have taken that would have led me to somewhere other than…there….than beneath him….than away from you. I told Jean….I had to tell Jean and he told me I wouldn’t blame someone else for being raped. He’s right, somehow I have to learn to deal with this and not carry that blame because I’m being crushed by it. He said, “don’t torture yourself.” Wow….so simple but it feels impossible to do right now.”

Erwin cleared his throat, “You told Levi?” Armin nodded, “Yeah, we talked about it and that’s another reason why now I understand where you and Eren were coming from. Ultimately, I think there are things I should always tell you first but they’re really good at bouncing difficult things off of and they’d find out anyway since we’re all in this together.” “Did Levi say anything important?” “No, well, yes and no. He comforted me in his own way. I asked if he’d ever been raped.” Erwin’s throat felt like it was closing up, “What did he say?” Armin shrugged, “Typical Levi he said no, he’d been sexually assaulted but never raped. He said, he’d not classify what had happened to him as rape, he’d _seen_ rape. I can only guess what he meant.” Erwin felt ashamed.

“I thought if you found out you’d not want to be with me. You’d not want to be with something that was so tainted and dirty. Because, that’s how I feel, really used and dirty when I remember it. When you and I finally had sex again it was almost like coming home after shedding my skin. I felt what it was like to enjoy sex and feel loved and be touched with care for the first time in almost seven months. It’s almost made my memories of those times more stark and traumatic now that I can compare it to something real like this.” Armin smiled to himself looking back at Erwin expectantly, “Do you still want me?” 

Erwin blinked, “If it had been me, would you have thought of me differently? Would you not want me?” Armin’s eyes narrowed, “Erwin, of course I’d not think of you differently and I’d still want you. I know I would. But, I’m asking you this. I’m asking if you can personally handle that the man you thought was your father did this to me. Do you want to be with me now after hearing what you’ve heard?” Erwin wiped his eyes, “Of course, baby. I love you.” Armin nodded, his lips pressed together. 

“It was me,” he mumbled into his hand. Armin leaned forward, “What was?” “Who Levi watched get raped. We were in our cell; the soldier that had this infatuation with me did it. He tied me up and beat me. Levi was right there on the floor next to me and saw it, all of it and it wasn’t quick. He had him at gun point but when he finished and was pulling up his pants Levi got off the floor and choked him to death with his shoelaces. He started taking them off when we got back inside to make tourniquets for my arm and his leg when we needed to drain something or stop the bleeding from a cut we’d got. I had a nasty sore on my arm and he’d taken them off to help lacerate it. I’d never been so glad. We were nearly killed for this. They tortured us. The worst was when they took us outside and tied our hands behind our back and then lifted us by our arms to hang for hours.”

”We’d lose feeling in them and then sometimes the shoulders would pop out of place or you know, break. We watched it happen to other people. That day though, they forced sexual favors on Levi. They put a sign on me calling me a little bitch boy, woman, lots of other things to embarrass me. People say men can’t be raped and that’s not true. It’s almost more stigmatized and, well,” he sighed,” that’s a whole other conversation. That’s why being made to dress like a woman bothered you a lot more than when you do it here with me, because sexism pervades us. But, I digress.” Erwin took Armin’s hand and pressed a soft kiss to his knuckles, “I love you, Armin Axel Arlert. If you can accept me then I can accept you, no matter what. Forever, till death do us part and even after. I’m not trying to make this about me, please don’t take it that way. I just thought if you knew, knew you weren’t alone, it might help you open up to me because I know there will be more days when you think about something or something triggers you. But, please don’t think I’m trying to make this about me.” 

Erwin was serious and Armin, still in shock, just shook his head, “I know you’re not. I needed to know this.” Erwin kissed his hand again, “Levi is who brought me back, like what you were saying, he was who I slept, who talked to me, gave me solace, talked religion with after it happened and it’s in him I healed and was able to put that behind me because there is good and there is bad. We can’t control what happens to us most of the time but we can choose to pursue the good and focus on that in order to keep the bad down in the depths where it belongs.” Armin nodded, “This has provided me with a lot of insight in to your relationship with Levi and why you don’t like having your arms tied down to things.” Erwin nodded, “I was blindfolded often and made to do favors. That’s why I can’t handle them either.” Armin moved closer on the bed, “We’re okay?” Erwin patted his hand, “I should be asking that.”

Armin smiled, “I need to know. Have I destroyed this or are we going to be good? You gotta tell me and a lot, Erwin. I need that.” Erwin smiled, “Lucky for you, pleasing you satisfies like nothing else so yes, we’re fine. It’s really my fault. I never asked the right questions and I ignored the signs.” Armin bit his lip, “Erwin, I still want to ask, I need to know, why didn’t you ask me or Levi? Why was I left out?” Erwin took a moment to think about it, “Because I didn’t want to be told no. I wanted to just live in the moment. I thought, I childishly thought you’d probably already been with Levi.” Erwin blushed, “I am so sorry for thinking that. It’s not at all for the reasons Eren said. In fact, my god, that was the most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever heard or witnessed.” Armin closed his eyes, still raw from it, “Yeah, he knows….he knows how to hurt. So, why?” Erwin made an embarrassed face, “You two have a strong connection. You trust each other implicitly and you have similar moral and empathetic views. I thought maybe something had happened when he was deaf.” Armin was once again brought back to that time, “Jean said the same thing. But, we haven’t done anything and we won’t unless he agrees to what I just said as well. We’ll have to talk to them in the morning. Are they okay?” 

Erwin nodded, “Eren’s in overdrive trying to make sure he’s perfect for Levi and making him happy but honestly it’s just like with you. You and Eren could do anything and Levi and I’d just let it go. I couldn’t ever imagine there being a thing that would make me not love you anymore or cause us to break up. Hell, Eren and Levi are already married and doing it again. Never once the other night or today did any talk of calling off the wedding or taking a break or whatever else people do nowadays come up. I noticed you didn’t say anything like that either. I think that means something. You could do anything, say anything, and I just eventually let it go and forget it.” Armin smirked, “So, I have a permanent get out of jail free card?” Erwin gritted his teeth, “Yeah, I guess.” He sighed mumbling, “I’m not a smart man.” Armin snickered, “No, you’re not, because a smart man would have never admitted that.” Armin smiled turning his head to the side against his shoulder.

Erwin leaned forward tugging on his pony tail, “Where did the bruises really come from?” Armin lightly grabbed his wrist as he tried to pull away; he bit his lip before meeting his gaze, “Levi.” Erwin gave him a surprised look, “Y’all really got in a fight?” Armin shook his head, “I asked him to. We both wanted needed it.” Armin thought the words sounded odd but Erwin’s eyes twinkled and his face lit up in understanding, “Oh, I see. So…..you basically broke the rules, too. I’ll be sure to use that in my case when Levi and I go at it again. We’re still,” he made air quotations around the word, “fighting.” 

Armin looked confused, “We didn’t break the rules. We didn’t have sex.” Erwin nodded his head tisking while trying to suppress a humorous smirk, “You _played._ You were both consenting adults engaged in a intimate act without consulting your significant others first.” Damn, Jean had said that, too. “Erwin...” Erwin smiled, “I’m not picking a fight, I promise. But, I think it was only a matter of time before you two ended up where Eren and I did. I’m not going to lie, I’m green with envy. What did he do to you?” Armin flushed pink, “Erwin, I’d rather not.” “Would you ever want me to do those things?” Armin grew hotter, “I don’t know. Maybe…I’d have to think about it.” “I just don’t really understand why you’re so beat up and he’s bad off but,-“ “I asked him….to do this….to me. I asked him to hurt me.” “Really?” “Yes, please…I don’t feel like talking in depth about why. I’m just fucked up, Erwin. I’m fucked up.” Erwin chuckled, “We kind of all are. Did Levi like it?” Armin was caught off guard, “Why?” “I’m curious. He and I used to get into a lot of fights, remember? About work or before sex and that’s how we often figured out who’d topped. He was tenacious but I could tell me was holding back. Is Eren into bdsm?” 

Armin nodded, “Um yeah but he’s not that experienced. You watched us in Atlanta.” He whispered as Erwin gave him a coy look. Armin flushed again and then continued, “Jean was more submissive and he didn’t trust Eren and didn’t want to be told what to do by him and Eren wanted to be told what to do and so he wanted me to be more dominate and that’s what lead me to my role with you but I told you I’d rather be the submissive with you because you make me want to submit.” Erwin seemed amused, “Well, this is just interesting.” Armin gave him a coy and questioning look, “You’re still jealous aren’t you?” Erwin nodded, “Most definitely. I think this will probably work in your favor, though. My jealousy will end in my dominating of you over and over and over again.” He winked, pinching his leg before rubbing it. Armin smiled, “Good. I love you, Erwin Smith. I have and will love you forever.” 

Erwin opened his arms, “Come on, tomorrow is going to be another long day of talking. Let me hold you while I process everything we’ve discussed. We can watch House Hunters and figure out where we want to honeymoon or I don’t know invest in a property or anything else we might do. Let’s plan our future tonight. Might as well, you know?” Erwin smiled chuckling. Armin crawled forward, “You love me? I’m sorry, I’m needy.” Erwin kissed him softly, lovingly, “You can be as needy as you want. I love you. I’ll tell you every minute of every hour of every day for eternity.” He kissed him again, “I look forward to getting to know more of you and falling even deeper in love with you.” Armin smiled against his lips whispering seductively, “Damn, I better write that David a thank you card.” Erwin chuckled, “I already did, that’s for sure. He saved my ass with his advice. Now look, I’m not a smart man but now I’ve got my baby back and I’m going to take care of everything, you never have to worry.”


	55. Is This Happiness?

Erwin pulled him closer, “What did he say?” Armin was still partly asleep from his nap. He’d woken up early to catch Levi on his way out the door, “Are you leaving?” Levi tied his shoe laces, now they made Armin’s stomach tighten, “Going for a run.” Armin nodded, “Can I come?” Levi merely starred and he took that as a yes. On the road and in the dry winter air they ran in silence with only the sound of their breaths to keep time. Armin’s nose was red and runny while Levi’s leg started to give him trouble and he jerked it to the side every half mile towards the end of their 10 mile run. Levi never liked to show weakness and at the end of their run Armin intervened, “Let’s go over there to that strip mall and I’ll rub your leg.” Levi recoiled, “No,” he mumbled, “It’s fine.” Armin merely stared. 

  
“High up in the Hollywood Hills taking violet pills  
Writing all of my songs about my cheap thrills  
**You're a hard man to love** and I'm  
A hard woman to keep track of  
You like to rage, don't do that  
You want your way, you make me so mad  
**Got your gun, I've got my dad**

Is this happiness?  
Is this happiness?  
Is this happiness?  
**Is this happiness?”**  


After a much appreciated massage they went back out walking closer to home before entering another place to pick up something for brunch, knowing that both Eren and Erwin would sleep in and be hungry when they woke. Once inside the café, they got coffee and sat to chat and eat waiting on their to-go order, “I talked to Erwin and told him everything. I just wanted to tell you that….that I don’t care if he sleeps with you or Eren. It doesn’t scare me anymore.” 

  
“High up in the Hollywood Hills crushing violet pills  
You've been trying to write a novel about your cheap thrills  
You think you're Hunter S. Thompson  
I think you're fucking crazy as the day's long  
Man to man, heart to heart  
I love you but you drive me so far  
Wish you well on that star

Is this happiness?  
Is this happiness?  
Is this happiness?  
Is this happiness?”  


Levi grimaced staring into his coffee, “I was hopeful that you and I would remain on the same side.” Armin traced the rim of his mug, “Hmm that’s what I expected you to say. Do you want to know what two things changed my mind?” Levi reluctantly nodded. He desperately wanted to know what had given Armin such courage, such _hope_ , to be that vulnerable, “I realized that both Erwin and Eren are lust as hopelessly in love with us as we are them. I realized that there is nothing to fear by doing this and only everything to gain,” His eyes swam with emotion, “a large, loving, and helpful family.” Levi’s face stayed stoic but Armin could tell that the harshness around his eyes had softened and his shoulders relaxed. 

Levi thought about it, trying to be more open to the idea, “What was the second thing?” Armin said the words with care, “That I’d only be okay with it if you were, Levi. And also if you would be open to sleeping with me I would very much like to explore that part of our friendship. We’re stepping around our connection like it isn’t there and we can only do that for so long until it all becomes too much.” Levi’s face changed a flash of surprise that quickly turned into suspicion, “You said this? You would want that? ” Armin nodded, “Yes and I mean it. I’m only open to this if you are. I’m scared and you are, too. Let’s try and learn to trust others together and just be happy.” Armin said happy with an infectious smile and small shrug. Levi wet his lips tracing the edge of his cup with lone finger. 

He moved his hand to cover Armin’s, “Is this love?” He said the words quietly while Armin’s eyes brightened, “Of course,” Armin became serious echoing his words in New York, “but only if and when you’re ready to love me.” Armin had said it with such surety that night and now was no different. Levi met his gaze before Armin, stroking his hand, asked with much care, “Is this happiness?” Levi offered a rare genuine smile, tilting his head to the side with a small snort, “Yeah, I think it could be.” Levi and Armin finished their coffee before grabbing the to-go orders and heading back to the house.

  
“Witch Hazel, Witch Hazel  
Betrayal, betrayal  
One gun on the table  
Headshot if you're able

Is this happiness?  
Is this happiness?  
Is this happiness?  
Is this happiness?”  


*******************

Back at the house Eren and Erwin woke up to the smells and sounds of brunch, “I guess our lovers brought us food?” Erwin grumbled as he walked down the stairs. Eren followed just as grumpily, “Yeah, thanks….but no thanks because that food woke me up.” Armin was sitting at the table waiting for them while Levi moved cleaning the kitchen from the previous night. When Eren sat down Armin slid a muffin his way, “Let’s go somewhere?” Eren peeled the paper off the pastry, “I actually already booked something.” Armin’s eyebrows rose, “Where?” Eren started to grin despite him still being sleepy, “Gatlinburg.” Armin squealed with delight as well as Eren. Armin moved around the table to trap him in an embrace where Eren gladly pulled him closer, “It’s only the best place for us to go hang out. Just like when we were kids.”

Armin smiled, “Are we gunna hike and eat pancakes and see bears and ski and stuff?” Eren laughed, “Uh DUH! All that and more.” Armin and Eren eagerly planned their trip while Erwin chewed his food in a daze. Levi and he were still on their own and while it helped them that their lovers were mending Levi was still having a hard time sorting his own feelings on the whole thing. Erwin grew tired of trying to look elsewhere and so he just maintained a constant eye contact with Levi whose face was contorted in serious concentration. Erwin knew that Levi had to process things on his own and sometimes that took an incredibly long time. A little nudge here and there was all Erwin could do without awakening the Maccabee within.

Erwin stood up walking around the counter to the coffee pot near where Levi leaned. He watched as Levi studied him, casting him a mischievous glance that made Levi’s eyes tighten, as he opened the cabinet to get his mug for coffee. Levi stayed planted firmly where he was but he knew Erwin was up to something. Erwin leaned closer, his arm pressed against Levi who refused to budge or outwardly acknowledge that Erwin was now practically standing on him. Erwin started to lean more on him, pushing him and pinching him as Levi tried to act unbothered. Eren watched as a small smirk formed on Erwin’s face at the slight upturn of the corner of Levi’s mouth but then out of the blue Levi slapped his arm and left the kitchen heading into foyer. Erwin sighed, before walking by and kissing the top of Armin’s head and patting Eren’s shoulder before heading into the foyer as well.

Armin leaned against Eren who sighed, “I guess Levi’s gunna really make Erwin work for it.” Armin nodded, “Yeah.” Eren nuzzled his face against Armin’s who giggled, “What did you and Levi talk about this morning? I bet y’all ate before bringing this home to us. The first time I ran with Levi he destroyed me. 10 miles and I was done.” Armin giggled, “We did 10 today. I mean, I’m really tired and I think he was annoyed that I wasn’t going as fast but I’m out of practice.” Eren nodded, “Well, he normally does 15 or 20. It’s insane and he’s fast, man. Like lightning.” Armin’s eyes widened, “Daaaaamnnn. 20? He’s a god.” Eren smirked, “Tell me about it.” 

Armin told Eren about his conversation with Erwin and what he told Levi this morning. He told him about how Levi and he had crossed the line in their own way and that he was sorry for that but Eren didn’t really seem to be upset and didn’t take it that way, much to Armin’s surprise. Eren finished his third muffin, second egg and cheese bagel, and coffee while he listened. Armin finished and waited for a response. “Wow….You know, that sounded really hot between you and Levi.” Armin rolled his eyes, “Seriously? Is that all you got from that?” Armin’s eye narrowed, “I just told you so much and you were the one calling me a hedonist the other day.”

Eren shook his head, “No, of course I got everything else. I’m just admitting that I wouldn’t mind seeing you two go at it like that, or having some of that done to me, sometime. I feel really inspired and sort of mischievous. I need to plan something.” Eren grinned slyly as Armin punched him, “When do we leave?” Eren hummed, “The day before Spring break, so in four days. I wanna play paintball for my birthday and so does Jean. We’re gunna do that the night before we leave so prepare to ride for 5 hours with your ass having been kicked.” Eren snickered, “My poor little friend.” Armin cast him a defiant look, “I’ll destroy you.” They talked for another hour before Armin went upstairs falling asleep, tried and for once feeling weightless without secrets, well, just the one he wished he’d never learned about Carla.

That led him to being wrapped in Erwin’s arms as he tried to wake up and be as pleasant as possible to his wonderful fiancé. “What did who say?” Erwin smiled, “Levi?” Armin shrugged, “Um, nothing really. Have you spoken to him?” Erwin nodded, “I think I know what the problem is.” “What?” “He’s scared and not thrilled about letting someone else in so personally. He did it with me, albeit begrudgingly, and with Eren but of course, he’s married to him and he’s clearly his soul mate. So, letting someone else in, you, is something he’s uncomfortable with. He doesn’t like change.” “I don’t really like change either.” “Really?” “Yeah, too many new variables.” “Well, maybe you could get through to him and make him realize that letting you in like he’s done me and Eren would be good for him? Might make you feel better, too. I also made you an appointment to see a therapist.” Armin’s temper flared, “Um shouldn’t I have been the one to do that?” His tone was scathing.

Erwin was unfazed, “You’ll really like the guy I picked.” Armin’s nose twitched and Erwin kissed it, “You actually know him.” Armin wasn’t happy, “Who the fuck is it?” He deadpanned, “Dr. Lavie.” Armin took a moment, “Dr. Lavie?” He said incredulously, “Who…David Lavie?’ Erwin grinned, “Turns out he’s a Ph.D holder and licensed therapist for PTSD and a few other areas that I think fit with your experiences well. Makes a lot of sense now how intuitive he’s been about things, right?” Armin mulled it over. He grumbled, “I guess David wouldn’t be too bad. He’s really professional.” Erwin nodded, “Normally, I’d have a problem with my baby being left to the devices of an attractive and dashing young intelligence officer but you’re right, he’s squeaky clean and Mikasa scares the shit out everyone and that alone should keep him in line.” Erwin winked, “But, honestly, I just think someone not involved would be good for you.” 

Armin smiled coyly, “He is involved, though. He knows all the parties involved.” Erwin rolled his eyes smirking, “But we don’t sleep with him.” Armin smiled bigger, echoing him, “But we don’t sleep with him. Touché.” Armin leaned forward pressing various kisses to Erwin’s lips who met his with equal sweetness. “Don’t go away for a week. Pleeeeaaaseeee.” Armin chuckled against his lips, “You don’t control me. I go where I want.” Erwin gave him his best puppy dog eyes, “You’ve been learning tricks from Eren. However, you are foolish to use them on me, sir. I am immune to such. We’re going and that’s that. You’ll survive a week without me.” Erwin moaned, “Nooooooo. I won’t.” 

Armin carded his fingers through Erwin’s hair, “Did you talk to Levi about it?” He nodded, “I did. We’re okay now but you two leaving us is going to be hard. Who will we dote on and love on?” Armin’s eye twinkled, “Each other.” Erwin huffed, “No fair, he’s not my baby and I’m not his ahuvi.” Armin chuckled deviously, “Oh, yes. You two are each other’s eineiym sheli and Lee, Commander and Captain. You can dote on one another, fight with one another, and love one another till we get back.” Armin paused biting his lip and then smirking beautifully making Erwin weak. His voice was thoughtful tinged with humor, “Wow, I really like this set up now that I think about it. You two can bond like you did before us and when we come back shower us with attention and fight over us for big papa status. I can’t wait to be won like a trophy of war.” 

Erwin pulled Armin into his lap sitting up, “I’ll win you like Helene of Troy, my love.” Erwin kissed Armin passionately, “What do you want to do today?” Armin hummed rubbing his nose against Erwin’s, “Whatever daddy wants to do.” Erwin peppered him with kisses, “Let’s go for a drive?” Armin nodded, “Okay, anywhere special?” Erwin winked, “You’ll just have to wait and see.” Armin giggled as Erwin picked him up walking them into their closet, “Put on something warm and nice, sweetheart. We’re going on an adventure.”

*********************

A twig snapped causing Marco to jump. He rolled around on his back lifting his gun to point at the enemy. “Don’t shoot, babe!” Jean held his hands up, “I’m wounded!” Marco lowered his paintball gun, “Who got you?” Jean fell down beside him, “Fucking Eren, that asswipe. Hit me and I could hear his giggled coming from up in the tree.” Marco was very amused, “Are you out?” Jean shook his head, “No, I wasn’t hit critically and Marco…it’s just us, Armin, Eren, Levi, and Mikasa left.” 

Marco’s eyes widened, “Connie and Sasha?” “Taken out when Armin had Erwin throw out a few pieces of chocolate into a clearing.” “SERIOUSLY? “ “YES” “Erwin? How is he out?” “I have no idea but he sounded so upset when he was taken out just a few minutes ago.” “Wooooahhhh, Hanji?” “Eren shot them in the back when they jumped from one tree to another like some damn freakish monkey.” Marco laughed quickly covering his mouth when they heard another rustling nearby and then a few shots. “Mike?” Jean’s eyes widened, “I watched that man be eaten alive before my eyes. I can’t talk about it.”

Jean and Marco heard Mikasa yell but they couldn’t tell if she was out yet. Marco looked at Jean, “Oulu and Yvonne?” Jean held his gun ready through the bushes trained on one specific spot, “Oulu blocked Yvonne as Eld and Petra showered hellfire on them. Once Oulu was out Yvonne threw a paint grenade-“ “A paint grenade!” Marco gasped, “From where?” Jean shrugged, “I don’t know, babe. Babe, babe, babe, it was…oh god it was off the chain. Petra and Eld were taken out. All of Levi’s friends in a one wave, BAM.” “Who took out Yvonne?” “Mikaaaassaaaaaa.” 

Marco squirmed, “TELL ME!” Jean inhaled, “We gotta move, babe.” Marco and Jean scurried along the ground out of the bushes and into a ditch where they were more covered. Mikasa came by, tracking his footsteps to their old hiding place. Jean pulled the trigger hitting his straight in the middle of her back. She turned, angry, a shot in their direction but missed and she was out. “FUCK!” Mikasa hated to lose and Jean felt a wonderful sense of pride having taken her out. He turned to smile cockily at Marco, “Mikasa and David were killing it and then he tried to take Eren out and she destroyed him. He was so betrayed. She then took out Yvonne and now that leaves us, Levi, Armin, and Eren. We’re almost finished. I can’t wait to be the winner.” Marco reached over kissing him, “Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but…” _pop_ “Marco! HOW COULD YOU!” Marco smirked, “Because I just love to win, baby.” 

Levi appeared out of nowhere behind them watching as Marco turned against Jean, “Well, you won’t win today, Marco.” And with that Marco’s face flushed with surprise as Levi shot both he and Jean, “HEY I WAS ALREADY OUT!” Levi shrugged climbing into another tree, “No one cares, horseface.” Levi let himself smirk as he used Eren’s favorite nickname for Jean. Levi and Erwin had actually bought him a pretty little brown and white filly for this birthday since Jean loved to ride back in his hometown. He named her Delilah and she was his joy and loved Isi. Mike handpicked her and wanted to share custody of her after he picked her up. Jean and Mike thought they could arrange something. 

Into the trees Levi climbed. He was betting on Armin taking out Eren or the other way around. He didn’t want to take Eren out on his own birthday but it certainty entertained him that Marco could be so ruthless. Marco was a sunflower most of the time till it came to games or Jean. He then became gangster and cut throat. Levi could relate aside from the sunflower part. He’d always been more like a puddle of water in a gutter for most.

Armin watched from his location as Levi settled in. He knew he was hidden but finding Eren would be hard unless he came this way. Maybe if he threw a stone of some sort? No, best not move. Armin watched with hawks precision as Eren slowly moved from around a tree, slinking around till he stopped hearing a branch creak. “Neshama, I know you’re up in that tree.” Levi sighed and Armin smirked imagining his face, “Motek, you shouldn’t be in the open.” Eren snorted, “We’re all that’s left, Levi. Armin got taken out by Mikasa.” _Oh, how wrong he is._ Armin smiled a Cheshire grin. 

Levi slid down onto the ground in front of Eren, “Motek, what will become of us two lone soldiers?” He moved like a panther slinking towards Eren. “Are you trying to seduce me and distract me from the fact that one of us is going to be the winner?” Levi approach, finger on the trigger, same as Eren, “I say, if I win, you get a send off tonight like no other.” Eren smirked, “And I say if I win, we play with some real guns tonight and I get a send off like no other.” Levi’s eyes smoldered, “Not fair.” Eren took a step back raising his gun, “War never is.” _Pop! Pop!_ “Neither of you two win and you’ve officially ruined my appetite for dinner now.” Armin moved a boulder to the side revealing a small crevice he had wedged in on the side of the rocks in the side of the bottom of the mountain range that circled around the park like a natural wall, “See, Eren? Being small means I can hide anywhere. I’ll go collect my title now as paint ball Czar and then tonight I’ll be sure to claim turn up king at dinner as well.”

********************

The water was cool against their hot skin, lips pressed against slick flesh, an open mouth kiss on the shoulder, “You shot me.” Another kiss, hands moving in soapy circles on hips, “I know.” More kisses moving along the chest, stepping up on tip toes to reach the clavicle, “You used me.” One body stoic and unmoving while the other small one worked them, “I’ll let you use me now.” Another kiss, suckling, biting, “It was so cruel,” hands moving up sides, “I had to. You did so good for me. It was necessary.” More open mouth kisses, the larger body still unmoved, “I protected you.” The water echoed in the shower with the sound of passionate kisses, “Mmm yeah, thank you for that. You’re the best.” Nibbling along the underside of the jaw, “Don’t be mad, daddy.” A surprised gasp, a rolled nipple, shaking, “I’m supposed to protect you. I feel betrayed, baby.” Hands gripping in hair, lips on neck, the water cooling, bodies heating up, “Isn’t your ultimate goal to make me happy?” Another gasp, hand stroking, wet and slick, fingers stimulating, “Y-e-s.” Thighs twitching, hips bucking, moans escaping, “Any-anything for you, baby.” Knees dropping suddenly on the cold tile, kisses along the hip and lower stomach, lips parted against the forbidden skin, “Well, you made me very, very happy. Thank you, daddy.” A whimper, the taste of victory.

**************************

Levi rented the top floor out of the Irish Pub for Eren’s party because that’s where they had their first meeting with Hanji. Music played softly creating a fun and light ambiance and Levi’s favored hostess had Kosher options for him and Eren, who surprisingly was keeping Kosher with little exceptions here and there but none the less impressive. Levi stood looking around the room making sure it was all set up the right way. 

It was Jean’s birthday dinner, too, and Mila’s. Hanji had surprised Levi when they agreed on letting him throw it and then even more so when they suggested they have it on the same night as Eren and Jean’s if they didn’t mind. Of course, neither minded and it made sense. All of those invited were the same circle that would have been invited to the parties if held separately. Mike’s parents were coming in from Colorado and had gotten in last night and watched Mila today. Levi had yet to meet them but he figured that they’d be like Mike. They moved off after he graduated High School and then retired in Colorado at their cabin. Erwin was very excited to see them and that made Levi happy. 

There was a table for presents, mostly for Mila, and then [her small cake and another grander one](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/d6/bc/15/d6bc1568ba4ca4328b7e702c5916cbf9.jpg) for the boys but themed the way Eren wanted, Jean had enjoyed it too but didn’t let on saying it was more for Mila anyway. Levi moved straightening table cloths and moving centerpieces. Eren would be riding with Erwin and Armin over to the pub and Jean and Marco were bringing Ms. Kirschstein and Mr. Bodt with them. _The Jaegers should be here any moment._ Levi was feeling uncomfortable for some reason and Donner stirred. “I know, I know. But, I don’t know why, old boy.” Donner whined as he heard the door open.

Mikasa and David walked in looking amazing as usual. Behind them trailed the Jaegers. Dr. Jaeger smiled, waving as they headed towards them and Levi managed a faint one himself. “Dr. Jaeger. Mrs. Jae-,” Carla Jaeger was smiling, opening her arms to him, “Levi! It’s wonderful to see you. Call me Carla, stop with the Mrs. Jaeger stuff. We’re going to be family.” Carla hugged Levi who did hug her back. Despite her bursting personality, Levi felt sick. Something was wrong with Carla Jaeger, he didn’t know what but something in his gut told him. He wanted to throw up. Donner stood up suddenly, barking and pulling at the fabric of his jeans.

Dr. Jaeger looked on without much emotion, “Are you having an attack? Should I get you something? I don’t know what you specifically need or want.” He needed, wanted, to get away, a small space with a window maybe, maybe the bathroom. David walked over smoothly, “Come on, achki.” David took Levi and Donner to the bathroom while Mikasa addressed her parents calmly, “It happens sometimes for no reason. He’s probably embarrassed that it happened right now and wouldn’t want y’all to think it was because of something y’all did or anything.” Carla smiled sadly, “That’s horrible. Of course, we didn’t think anything of it. Eren said it happens but I hate it happened right now.” Dr. Jaeger cleared his throat. He knew Levi must have noticed what he himself had noticed. Dr. Zoe would, too.

”Mikasa?” He began, “I’ll be right back. Carla, my love, tell Mikasa about that book you were reading.” Carla smiled brighter, “Mikasa I have so much to tell you…” Grisha made his way to the men’s room opening the door to enter. He heard the man he’d recently been introduced to named David, what he was doing with Mikasa he’d like to know, not that he was unpleased but what he good enough for his little girl, well anything other than that Annie girl Mikasa somehow thought we didn’t know she was dating, fun fact Mikasa your mother sleep talks, speaking to Levi, “Was ist los, Achki?” (What’s up?) “Seine Mutti….haste nicht gemerkt?” (His mother...didn’t you notice?) “Nei, was?” (No, what?) “Etwas stimmt nicht. Vielleicht, ich hoffe, dass....Ich glaube, dass sie krank ist aber ich bin nicht sicher, besonders was für eine Krankheit könnte es sein. Eren hat mich nichts davon erzählt.....Veilleicht hat er keine Ahnung was ist’s. Was soll ich denn machen?“(Something isn’t right. Perhaps, I hope that, I believe that she’s sick but I’m not sure, especially what kind of sickness it could be. Eren hasn’t told me of anything...He might not know anything. What should I do?) „Wenn ich du wäre, würde ich nichts sagen. Wir müssen sicher sein, dass sie echt krank ist. Auch wir können uns....alle irren...Wenn man etwas Falsch sagt, dann…” (If I was you I wouldn’t say anything. We must be sure that she is sick. Also...we can all make mistakes. If one says something false then…) Grisha knocked on the stall door, “It’s been years since I took German in college but I know what you’re talking about and I would like to speak with you personally. Though, I thank you for your discretion since this is a public bath.”

David opened the door and Grisha saw Levi sitting on the toilet, face read, Donner between his legs, “Levi, Carla is sick. What I’m about to tell you I tell you in confidence as my future son-in-law.” _That’s what I forgot, the Jaegers don’t know we’re married. No one outside of Erwin and Armin or Jean and Marco does, not even Mikasa. Hopefully no one will say something._ “You cannot, and this is Carla’s wishes so please, you cannot tell Eren what I’m about to say.” Levi looked at David whose face was grim, “What is so bad that we can’t tell Eren?” Grisha sighed, “Carla has cancer and maybe only a year to live.”


	56. Birthday Party

Eren sat in the back of the Mercedes while Armin and Erwin started making him sick. “You’re beautiful baby.” “Thank you, daddy. You’re not bad yourself.” “I love you.” “I love you the most.” “Impossible. My heart cannot fathom a level of deeper love than that which I hold for you.” “Not true. I love you the mostest. The depth of my love is so deep that it extends infinitely into the nothingness of the universe.” “Oh, baby. That makes my heart soar with happiness. Do you like your new love bracelet?”Armin giggled, “Of course. Let’s put the old one in a shadow box, okay?” “Anything you want, my love.” Eren rolled his eyes, “You two are going to ruin my party, my god.” Erwin caught his eye in the mirror, “You feeling left out, honey?” He winked and Eren smirked, “Shut up.” 

Inside the Pub, Eren’s face lit up in excitement. Levi and his father were on the balcony as he pulled up and so was David and Mikasa. Jean and Marco had beaten them with Ms. Kirschstein and Mr. Bodt and they were now speaking with his mother. _His momma._ Eren ran to Carla hugging her, “Momma, I missed you.” Carla smiled hugging him back, “Obviously, because you never act so lovingly. You normally aggravate the shit out of me and test my patience trying to put me in an early grave.” Eren rolled his eyes, “Whatever mom.” Carla tapped his nose, “Did you contact those people I told you to?” _Nope._ Eren tried to evade the question. He had totally forgotten, “Well…umm…” Carla tisked pulling at his ear, “Eren, I swear, for once just do what I tell you. It’s always so hard with you. Mikasa on the other hand,-“ Eren huffed, “Is peeeerfeeect, I knoooow.” 

Carla gave him a stern look, “Who’s this David guy?” She released him and he smiled, “Um, who I hope she marries and has one hundred children by. He’s pretty much the best thing since sliced bread and Netflix.” Carla cast a glance at the balcony checking on them, “I mean, he’s…” “Gorgeous.” She made a knowing face, “Uh YEAH. I was really surprised when he opened the door. He was so polite and proper your father didn’t have one bad thing to say and he’s actually kept quiet since then. What’s happened with Annie?” Eren looked around moving closer, “Out on bail. Mikasa is going to press charges but Erwin say’s Annie’s gunna run.” Carla raised an eyebrow, “Why’s that?” “He says she’s probably got other skeletons in the closet and Bertolt is still missing. Reiner hasn’t heard from him nor from Annie in weeks. Erwin says that it’s for the best because it’ll make Mikasa’s case stronger.” Carla looked over seeing Erwin, “He’s a smart man….and he…has an arm.” “Oh…yeah about that.”

Eren told Carla all about the serum that re-grew his arm and how they were making strides in medicine. She listened with a vested interest and Eren was proud that he impressed his mother this much for her to ask about the applications of his research in such detail. Normally, his father and he would discuss it and he was very supportive but didn’t need the intricate details explained and it took a lot to shock Grisha Jaeger. Eren noticed his mother’s eyes dart behind him, her face brightened, and her lips curled into a true smile, “Armin…” 

Armin walked cautiously towards Carla, “Hi…” She had been devastated to hear he’d been kidnapped while they were abroad. To hear about his death had caused the part of her heart that she devoted to this boy, for he’d always be the little newborn in the white christening outfit that the missionary family down the street brought home who was so sick her husband would wake up in the middle of the night, feed their own seven month old and then head down the street to check up him. 

Armin was her second son, one she’d tried to adopt many times from the Arlert household. He stood before her, hair golden and still cut in the traditional way his parents had cut it to set him apart and make him remember his roots since he was small, and she saw his face now, aged, body taller and broader, muscles more defined but still a grace radiated from him that seemed to make the air around them glow and she had to give thanks to God Almighty he was there and would be there for her son to grow old with and offer support to when she was long gone. _Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust._ “Armin, my precious angel, come here and hug me. Let me hold you.”

Armin surged forward pressing his face into her shoulder, “God, I missed you.” Carla hugged him tightly, “I missed you. too. When they told me you’d died I couldn’t believe it. How could my other son have died? My golden angel I used to read Norse fables to? How could the little boy who helped me fold clothes and mend them have been killed? How could my little warrior who saved my little saint from getting his ass handed to him and helped him learn to be more empathetic to others have left this earth to join the Lord so young? You’re getting married…I just kept saying that. But he’s getting married.” Armin laughed, his voice thick with unshed tears, “You’re other son is also getting married.” “Haha yes, that’s true.” Armin blinked staving off tears, “I wish you were my real mother. I have always wished you were my momma. I used to pretend that you were. Because, I love you so much and I’d have been so lost without you and Dr. Jaeger.”

Eren put his hand on his shoulder, “Okay, y’all are about to make me cry. We should talk about this later.” Carla nodded, “I love you, too. So much you’ll never know.” Eren and Armin gave each other a hug before Erwin stepped over, “Mrs. Jaeger, it’s very nice to see you again.” He smiled dashingly taking Armin’s hand in his, “How goes everything in your life?” “Wonderful, now let me see your ring.” Armin showed her his engagement ring, “Not bad, not bad. I guess you’ll do, Erwin Smith.” Erwin blushed, “O-oh I didn’t know I was still on the fence.” He laughed nervously rubbing the back of his neck. They all spoke until Yvonne, Oulu, Petra, and Eld arrived. Everyone came inside waiting on Mike and Hanji to bring Mila and Mike’s parents.

Erwin and Armin stepped to the side where David and Mikasa stood, “How are things with the Jaeger’s, David?” Erwin began, “Do they know you’re a Jewish sexual deviant trying to corrupt Mikasa?” David surprised him, “Of course they do. I asked Grisha for tips and we had a nice talk about subjugating women.” Mikasa smirked behind her wine glass, “David,” she said softly, “What’s gotten into you?” David smiled, “Nothing.” He mumbled the words reaching for hand, “I’m glad to be here with you. Despite the hostile circumstances. How’s your book coming along?” Armin’s brow creased, _what?_ “I haven’t started it yet.” David looked up meeting his gaze, “Perhaps, you should spend less time on my relationship and more time researching your book that’s draft is due by the end of June?” Erwin’s eyes flashed over with a moment of annoyance, “Levi should really stay out of my email.” David smirked, “Levi’s not the only one in there. Plus, you skim his, often. I see that, too.” Armin burst into laughter, “Oh my, both Mr. Handsomes are about to go at it.”

Before any blood could be shed a loud noise pierced the relative bubble of the rooms chatter. The door had been nearly slammed into the wall when a woman with long salt and pepper colored hair appeared. She wore an intricate dress of flowy blue, black, and white, tye-dyed fabric. The sleeves were bell sleeves and she had various strands of braids in her hair with beads and feathers. Her almond shaped brown eyes were warm and her skin was tanned from gardening. She smiled, holding on her hip a baby, that baby being Mila who was adorable in a Native America style dress, Armin believed that Erwin said that Mike’s family was connected for generations with the Cherokee and Choctaw Indians of the area and his wife was proud of her linage so maybe that explained why Mila looked like Pocahontas? Armin made a note to learn more about Native America history.

He watched as she skimmed the room with Mike and Hanji coming up behind them and a tall blonde man wearing a crisp white button up with a blue bolo tie, wrangler dark wash blue jeans, a belt buckle of a steer, and nice dark leather dress cowboy boots who looked like an old Mike bringing up the rear with bags and bags of presents. “Who,” her voice boomed with a pleasant mezzo timbre and bright quality that public speakers sometimes had, “is Levi?” 

Eren nearly doubled over when he heard the name. He tried to suppress his smile but this was certainly not someone Levi would want to be singled out to talk to. He turned looking at his husband whose face was now awash in that characteristic look when he couldn’t remain stoic: Shit. “This is Levi.” Eren smiled and waved them over. Levi looked at him, “Brat!,” he hissed as she approached, “I’m Fran! Call me Fran or Frannie! I’m Mike’s mother. I just simply had to meet you.” Hanji appeared at her shoulder, ‘Guess what shorty?” Levi rolled his eyes, “What?” Hanji and Fran’s eyes grew two sizes bigger, “Mila said her first word.” Both spoke at the same time, nearly yelling at Levi who looked down at Mila. She had her arms outstretched towards him, melting him, as she smiled, “Levi.” Levi’s heart nearly burst, _She said my name._ He said simply it simply in his monotone voice, “She said Levi.” 

Hanji slammed their hands together, “I KNOW! HER FIRST WORD WAS LEVI! LISTEN TO HOW WELL SHE SAID THE ENDING?! SHE’S SO ADVANCED HER SPEECH IS SO ADVANCED!” Levi took Mila into his arms, “Leeeeeee,” she cooed. He smiled clutching her to him and showering her with love. Eren nearly died from the cuteness as he hugged Hanji and introduced himself to Fran. “I’ve heard so much about you and how smart you are and how you’re Levi’s soul mate and that was how it was for me and Owen when we met I just know you know and I just couldn’t wait to see my grandbaby and then there was this party and then this whole Levi talk and-“ Eren was trapped as Fran told him her life story and more. She was an herbalist and healer who also doubled as a shaman. It was confusing but he really liked her.

The party went on with everyone talking about today’s paintball match up and Armin even wore a small crown as paintball king. Mikasa made sure to elbow Jean for taking her out and he gave her hell for shooting her own boyfriend. David joined him, ganging up on her about how he was going to sacrifice himself at the end for her but she couldn’t wait and where had that gotten her but expelled from the game and not even in the final three. Mikasa demurred, her hand pulled gently down David’s tie, “I’m sorry, can you forgive me?” Her hair fell around her face as she look up through her thick black lashes. Her form hugging [ dress ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/be/7e/3f/be7e3f5bbb72f7aa84217a811a55c970.jpg) sparkled in the light and the soft fur wrap softened the look against her striking black hair. David’s [ suit ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/c1/f4/93/c1f493b579691a59bc5fca40c160b225.jpg) had come from Jean’s mother’s collection after he found out that she had men’s in her Atlanta boutique, something that hadn’t gone unnoticed when she rang him after seeing his name on the receipts. Why she read receipts he’ll never know but he enjoyed her very much and wasn’t complaining about a little motherly chiding about cost and how she would have given him a discount. David leaned down kissed her chastely, “Of course. Let’s go sit. Levi’s about to tell everyone to.” 

Mikasa grinned when Levi had Erwin tell everyone to take the seats that dinner would be served. He had three options for everyone and then the kosher ones for he and Eren. Mila bounced on his leg until Armin appeared, “Mila,” he stretched out his arms as she smiled, “Come sit with me for a while.” Levi’s grip tightened as he contemplated giving her up. Armin gave him a pleading look and he broke. He was letting Armin’s words sink in, letting them saturate him with their meanings and he found himself opening up more to the idea of being in a loving relationship, an intimate relationship, with Armin. Armin whose eyelashes were so long they kissed his cheek bones, Armin who’s smirk made him excited for what was to follow, Armin whose words echoed his own feelings so often it made him feel less alone, this Armin, the one before him who he handed Mila when he’d denied others.

Armin walked back to his seat next to Erwin who was chatting with Owen and Fran. Eren leaned over, his hand on the middle of his back moving up to his neck, “Wow, you let go of Mila? Armin’s charms must be working. Let me know when you fall prey to him like Jean and I did. We hold monthly support meetings and sometimes write poems we read aloud.” Levi snorted, “Shut up, brat. Isn’t this what you want?” Eren smiled, “It is. I’m happy as long as you’re happy. You happy?” Eren studied his face, strong jaw, dreamy grey blue eyes, silken tresses falling around his face, the thickness of his undercut, and the smooth skin that stayed perpetually young. He smirked, nodding, “Yeah, I’m happy. I’m happy to have you in my life as well. You are my everything, Eren.” Eren leaned over kissing him as his mother snapped him with her napkin, “Don’t ignore your mother. Tell me more about school and re-growing arms.” She gave him an expectant look and Levi watched as his precious husband spent nearly half the dinner in a fury of eating and a rush of words. 

Erwin watched out of the corner of his eye Armin and Mila play and eat. He watched as he held her with love and care and how when she babbled, often just saying “Levi! Levi! Levi!” Armin would babble right back to her. Eventually, Armin passed Mila to other hands. Oulu and Yvonne seemed overjoyed to spend time with her. Clearly, Mila knew everyone she was handed to save for Carla and Ms. Kirschstein who took her regardless cooing and reminiscing. Erwin leaned over after they had all finished eating. They’d be moving on to the cake and gifts shortly and he wanted to talk to him before then. “What on earth are you smirking about, Mr. Smith?” Armin said under his breath, his hands moving to straighten his sweater. He was wearing the black dinner ring from the jewelry Erwin got him. It sparkled in the light, just like him, Erwin thought. 

”I’m not smirking, my love.” Armin turned to face him, “You are and I think I know why.” “Why my soul?” “Mila.” “Maybe you’re right.” Armin moved his chair closer, “You want one?” Erwin sighed, “Yeah, do you?” Armin nodded, his eyes sparkled as his lips turned up sly at the corners, “Yeah. Wanna try and make one?” Erwin chuckled, “If only I knew that that wouldn’t be fruitless.” Armin shook his head, “Maybe if Eren can get that womb going we might be in better shape.” _Ohhh fuuuuuuckkkk I had nearly forgotten. Shit…..fuck….fuuuuck. Who’s baby is in that womb?_ Erwin kept his face contained, eyes tight, “Oh, yeah.” He sighed in mock sadness and disappointment, “That damn Eren….so slow…” Armin patted the side of his face, “Come to the bathroom with me, Erwin.” He moved his chair back startling Erwin.

“Umm why, baby?” Armin smiled sickeningly sweet, “Pweaseee, daddy?” Oh no, Erwin was in for it. He got up walking with Armin back to the bathroom as they prepared the room for the next event. Once inside the largest stall Armin moved to the toilet to pee, “Oh, why did I need to come?” “Don’t even Erwin. I had to pee but also I know when you’re hiding something. What the hell is going on with Eren’s womb?” Erwin debated his course of action. Armin knew what he was doing. He finished, tucking himself back in and flushing, “You know, you can try to come up with something or you can just resign yourself to Jean’s way of handling everything and just tell me.” Erwin sagged, “Baby, you’re so cruel.” Armin winked, “You love it.” “Right now the womb is… occupied and I don’t know by whom. It’s a secret apparently. Eren doesn’t know either and he’s trying to find out but Hanji won’t tell.” 

Armin contemplated this before walking up and wrapping his arms around Erwin, “Think they’ll let us use it when they’re done?” Erwin thought about it, “Would you want to do that?” Armin shrugged, “I trust them. Plus, that way we could have children not only genetically together but we don’t have to worry about a surrogate that might do things when we’re not around. I’m actually kind of territorial about it and don’t want someone running around with my baby. This way it’d be locked in a safe room where Levi has cleaned and we could have this relationship with it like normal parents do. Just us and our baby, no woman in between.” Erwin was very amused at how serious Armin was, not that he was complaining.

”You do know if we have a baby it’s going to mean no more personal time and no more sleeping in and all that, right?” Erwin watched from above as Armin shook his head, “I’ll just make you do the early morning stuff. You’re older and can handle that. I’m still young and will need my beauty rest.” Erwin chuckled, “Let’s go back out. Mila will be opening gifts.” Armin took his hand leading him out and back into the room where they took a seat in the new circle set up to watch.

Mila received so many presents it was hard for Levi to keep up with. He had Hanji screeching and Fran yelling in his ear the whole time. Eren was unfazed and when they pulled out his stuffed [ horses ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/8c/ea/ac/8ceaac8c6d8bf471056aba67f2889abc.jpg) he smiled like a fool as Mila immediately set to chewing on one. When they opened his [ deer family ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/8c/a5/2c/8ca52cd333b2b67ec7eb0656105e7f80.jpg) Mila sputtered happily. They had remodeled Mila’s [ bedroom ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/72/02/8b/72028bfc899835276ec289060b7096c1.jpg) and so that it would grow with her and that was the main thing. These toys were just accents. 

Armin and Erwin’s joint gift was up next. It was already set up by Erwin before the paint ball match when they got there and was huge. Erwin stepped forward removing the sheet he had covering it. The room gasped in surprise at the [ teepee ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/90/3c/75/903c753573c6e0fd4593c60625832179.jpg) and all the other accessories that came with it. Armin grinned to himself stepping forward to stand with Erwin as Mila crawled inside. Levi’s eyebrow rose, “You think you’re so clever playing to Mike and his father’s tastes, don’t you?” Erwin grinned grabbing Armin close to him like a warrior bride, “Everything is a competition.” Armin smirked, pleased that Erwin was being so ruthless.

Mikasa and David were also doing a join gift. Mikasa often baby sat for Hanji when she was busy teaching since Mikasa’s classes were much more flexible. Mila often laid at her feet in her pack and play while she sewed, eating her _Puffs_ and watching her cartoons. David had taken a liking to her and he and Levi passed her back and forth throughout the day when they got to the house and Mikasa needed to finish a particularly difficult piece. The first gift was a hand sewn [ jacket ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/c2/14/43/c2144346a465a8a307c8aa70c21123b2.jpg) and then a giant reading [ dinosaur plush ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/50/02/7a/50027a5feecbd2bc99a975a725eeb531.jpg) that David had picked out when they were spending time in Atlanta after they got back from New York. Lastly, a set of handmade [ puzzle dinosaur lights ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/24/61/93/246193df88664410122b9870b0f182a5.jpg) that they had had quite a lot of fun creating together. 

David stayed to the side smiling as the room spoke about the wonderful gifts. Up last was Marco and Jean. Marco had a small [gift](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/a2/59/2c/a2592c0aa8a44e6a4a73baf18632316c.jpg) in his hand that seemed so small compared to all of the outrageous things around them. “As you know, this is really very special to me and Jean and we wanted to make sure that Mila had the first print of the first edition. I’ve kept quiet but Yvonne tells me this is now picked up by a giant publisher and is already sold out with just pre-orders. We are so blessed that you let us use your very special daughter as our inspiration. I can’t wait to write more of these about her and when she’s older give her a collection of her life for her to share with her own kids.” Hanji and Mike smiled as Marco bent down handing the package to Mila who looked at him expectantly. Marco laughed, “Okay, I’ll help you out,” pulling at the corner of the paper and sliding the book out to leave the paper and crayons intact. That’s what she wanted really, anyway. “OH! MARCO! JEAN! IT’S FABULOUS.”

Everyone was blown away by the story and the art work. Eren patted Jean on the back, “You’re the most talented artist in the world, Kirschy.” Jean smirked, “I know.” Levi was delighted to receive his own copy, noticing that he was uncle Levi the retired Jewish IDF officer and surgeon who’s best friend Donner’s barks were small black storm clouds with lightening. His husband, uncle Eren, was a successful vet who loved to dance while he cooked and sang German rap songs. The Ackermanns would sing and light the Sabbath candles while teaching Mila how to speak various languages and about animals. Levi’s heart grew two more sizes as he read on with Eren leaning over his shoulder all about Mila’s first trip to the doctor where Uncle Levi gave her her shots.

Erwin and Armin grabbed their copy flipping through to see Mila’s two uncles who owned an antique and bookstore. Armin ran the store and would often teach Mila about different things in history and her uncle Erwin was a lawyer who fights in the book for more reading time in school and plays piano for uncle Armin while he turns the pages. They throw lavish parties and wear nice clothes. They are refined and apart of the socially elite. Armin giggled at how snobby they were while Erwin laughed at the depictions of him holding his briefcase in court while an army of tots stood behind him like some sort of freedom march. 

Other’s gathered around the other copies that were handed out to see their characters. Everyone was there including David who was more than blown away at the thoughtfulness. He was uncle Levi’s brother who owned a gym and went to fancy parties and gala’s with Armin and Erwin after sparring with aunt Mikasa the fashion designer. There was something for everyone and Marco and jean had been very inspired by the truth.

Giovanni hugged his son lifting him off the floor proudly, “You’re so talented. My Marco, the best seller!” Delaine was equally proud of Jean who cornered him with Carla, both hugging and leaving lipstick kisses on his cheeks. Mr. Jaeger stood to the side before walking to Levi, “Your character embodies a lot of things.” Levi shut the book’s cover, “I am a lot of things. I like what they’ve focused on.” Mr. Jaeger nodded, “You go with Eren to see Hannes every Wednesday still, don’t you?” Levi nodded, “Of course, I like Hannes.” Grisha smiled, “He’s something else.” “True.” “Where are you going on your honeymoon? I’d like to pay for it.” Levi was a bit surprised, “Actually, we haven’t decided. I figured we’d go back to Paris and stay in our apartment, for a bit. Eren wanted to renovate it and I said no because living in a renovation kills but…” Grisha chuckled, “He wore you down with his sincere stubborn intent on doing it?” Levi smirked, “If it makes him happy to rip out cabinets and pull out tile then I guess I can put the past behind me.” 

“You had a bad experience?” “Picking out materials and planning aesthetics with Erwin Smith is like trying to put an elephant through the eye of a needle. Armin has really made him more bearable when it comes to fixing the rest of the house up.” “How many bedrooms do y’all have?” Levi thought about it, “Fifteen bedrooms, seventeen and a half baths.” Grisha choked on his beer, “My God! I knew it was huge when we came over but that is beyond what I ever imagined! What do you do with the space?” Levi drank the rest of his jack and coke, “Well, Eren and I have a bed room, one of the two masters. Erwin and Armin have the other. Jean and Marco have a room and use two of the rooms as a studio and writing room. Mikasa say she is staying with us until August but I think I can talk her out of moving out. She has a bed room for her sewing and designing right now. David has a room when he stays with us. So, that’s six being used. One is a nursery that doubles as Mila’s room when we keep her. We’re renovating the others slowly.” 

Levi waited for Grisha to catch up. He could tell he was thinking about something intently, “For what other reasons would you use the others?” “When we start families.” “Do you want children? Or is Mila enough?” Levi blinked, “I want children of my own. Mila is special in her own way and always will be. But, I want to be a father, badly.” Grisha looked out at the room watching the others play with Mila’s toys as they laughed and drank and enjoyed the sight of Mila smashing into her own little cake as the others ate pieces off the larger one. 

“I never wanted children.” He stated it plainly, “When I met Carla I fell in love hard and fast. She wanted them, badly. I didn’t want to tell her I didn’t want them, that I didn’t think I’d be a good father because maybe I wasn’t cut out to be a father. But, then we got pregnant and she lost the baby and then the second and third.” He paused, “I started to wonder if I had cursed her so I stopped thinking about me and thought about her and then she got pregnant the fourth time with Eren and carried him up to 25 weeks and then I put her on bed rest till 38 weeks when we had to deliver him by emergency c-section. He nearly died. She nearly died. We didn’t think about erythroblastosis. Really, if it was just that then she wouldn’t have carried him almost to term. I don’t understand.”

Levi stayed still as Grisha finished his beer, “But, when Eren was placed in my arms I understood that while my fears were founded, Carla had given me something so precious and so wonderful that I felt crazy for ever not wanting to be a father.” Grisha put his hand on Levi’s shoulder, “I’m not good with emotions. I think you know that. Where I’m going with that is, if you love Eren and trust him like I do Carla then there is nothing that you two won’t be able to do or overcome. I sincerely hope that you become a father and it’s all you ever wanted. But, also, if Eren doesn’t want to become a father I ask that you listen to him and his reasons like I did Carla when she told me how much she wanted a child. Of course, I never told her how I felt but I’m sure she knew. She knows everything.” 

He smiled truly happy looking back at his wife fondly. “I’ll do everything I can to try and help her.” Grisha turned to face him, “I thank you for that, Levi. But, I don’t think anything will help. When you leave on your honeymoon she’ll start treatments. Well tell Eren when you two return. How long will your trip be?” Levi shrugged, “We don’t have to be back until August if we wish. We can come back sooner.”

“Levi, you’re a surgeon and I assume you have your degree already?” Levi nodded, “I’m actually a doctor like Hanji and yes, I got in while in the marines and finished in their intensive programs. Lot of on hand experience and clinical hours and then there was Erwin persuading people to help speed things along. I also have two degrees from Tel Aviv and an honorary one from Hafia. I’ve never been lax when it came to my studies and I’ve always had people in the academic world who made allowances for my…strange circumstances.” Grisha’s brow furrowed, “What were they?” Levi seemed surprised, he’d never been asked, “I didn’t attend school growing up. Just Jewish day school till I was nine and then nothing. I don’t even have a G.E.D.” Grisha was shocked, “I didn’t know this.” “I think only Erwin, David, and Hanji do. I’ve never been asked, actually.” “What are you getting now at Maria?” “I’m getting a special Ph. D in pathology and virology. It’s really just a catch all for me. I’m the only one in the program. Mostly, I just work for research grants and with Hanji. I’ll graduate in August because technically I’m enrolled in an online class with Hanji working on special research this summer but it’s just for a grant that has a set duration.” Grisha hummed nodding his head, “I’m thinking of buying the hospital here.”

Levi snorted, “Why?” Grisha shrugged, “They’ve gone down the drain and they’ll close if I don’t. It’d leave the entire south east region without a hospital and that means every time you get hurt they’ll take you to Montgomery, which isn’t suited for much, and that will end with you being sent to my hospital in Birmingham, two and half hours, three with the stop in Montgomery, from help.” Levi didn’t like the sound of that. “Then this is a good thing.” Grisha nodded, “I think so, too. The thing is, I like the manager they have and I’d like to keep him till he retires in two years but after that I’ll need a replacement. Will you take it over?” Levi nearly fell over from shock, “Me? Not Eren?” Grisha smiled, “That boy wants to work with patients that can’t speak and are covered in fur. He’d hate it if I put him in charge. I know he’d do it but he’d come to resent it. You’re perfect and you’ll be a Jaeger so it fits.”

Levi’s face must have flashed with a look of disbelief because Grisha furrowed his brow again, “I just figured you might take Eren’s last name.” Levi grinned internally. How hilarious this was that his father wanted Levi to take the Jaeger last name when Eren had nearly bitten his head off to become an Ackermann. He’d gone and changed his name officially without discussing it with him and now his cards and checks all read Ackermann. Levi was very pleased by that and couldn’t help the ego boost when Eren wanted him to call him Mr. Eren Ackermann. “I am flattered you’d want me to be a Jaeger but I won’t change my last name. I’m…” “Well, it’s not that big of a deal and that way we’d all be seamless with Jaegers running both branches.” ”You don’t understand.” ”What?” ”I’m..” he searching for the right words at this awkward moment, “I’m all that’s left. It’s just me. I’m alone. I can’t just give it up and change this part of me because to do that would be to forget and forgetting is like killing them all over again.” Grisha’s mouth opened and then closed, “I-I didn’t know anything about that. I don’t really…I don’t understand. There seems to be so much I don’t know about you and I apologize for that. I’m sorry.” Eren approached them, “What’s going on? You two are so serious.”

Eren knew that he’d walked up at a critical point, “What were you talking about dad?” He pushed, “I suggested that Levi take the Jaeger last name. Apparently, I’ve said something wrong and I have apologized.” Levi moved to speak but was cut off. He watched as Eren’s eyes flashed with some emotion he couldn’t catch. He smiled patiently at his father, “No, dad. I’m an Ackermann, were going to be the Ackermann family. The Ackermann name will not end here, they will live through us and our children. Don’t be upset, you’ve still got Mikasa and she’ll probably never give up her name. She’s a modern woman.” He smiled hugging his still confused father. “Let’s all come and spend time with the group, okay? Momma wants to dance.” 

Grisha was pushed into Carla’s arms as she spun around the floor. Delaine approached Levi, she gave him a coy look, raising one eyebrow and nicking her head to the side. He smirked, immediately seduced by her, “Mademoiselle, tu est belle. (You are beautiful)” he purred as Eren watched him slink forward to gather her up. He was left out in the cold until he felt Armin’s hands on his hips, “Tanz mit mir. (Dance with me)” He whispered against his ear. Eren smirked, “Nein, ich will nicht.(No, I don’t wanna)” He teased. Armin’s bottom lip pouted, his voice babyish and sweet, “Ich bitte dir.(I’m begging you)” Eren relented spinning Armin around to take the lead but Armin wouldn’t let him.

Armin lead them to the music pressed close as they moved on the floor with the other pairs. “Remember when we learned to dance?” Eren chuckled, “Yeah, we stayed up all night watching old movies and then practicing. You were so sick that winter and couldn’t go to school.” Armin smiled, “God, yeah and I had fought so hard to go to public school. I was so tired going to that religious school and home schooling and to not be able to start that winter I was so sad. But, you made it better….and Jean. He made me pictures and snuck in junk food for me.” Armin grinned as he caught Jean’s eyes when he passed with Marco.

Eren moved closer, “Thanks, Arm.” Armin nuzzled his shoulder, “For what?” “Being my best and closest friend. I can’t wait to grow old with you…and go to Gatlinburg tomorrow.” Armin laughed, “I KNOW! Erwin keeps begging me to not go but there’s no way. I am so excited.” Eren caught a glimpse of Erwin and Levi now dancing with Mila between them. It made his heart soar to see him so happy and he couldn’t wait to make him even more happy.

Carla moved to take both of the boys in her arms, “I have your gift and Jean’s so y’all come on out on the balcony.” Outside it was Armin, Eren, Jean, and Mikasa standing before Carla who had a bag of small packages. “I have something for all four of you actually. I couldn’t help myself and the next time we get together will be Eren’s wedding and I knew I’d completely forget to give them out.” She dug in the bag, “Jean. This is for you. I know you’ve always loved horses and riding and when we’d go out together and ride you’d tell me all about how you were going to be a cowboy some day, the best cowboy to be exact.” Carla smiled handing him the gift which held a small leather horseshoe [bracelet.](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/6f/76/c6/6f76c64708a535617adc93db4436a6a0.jpg) “I love it, Mrs. Jaeger.” He got a bit emotional, “I really, really love it and will cherish it.” Jean really would.

Carla dug further producing the next box for Mikasa, “And of course, you know this, I’ve told you over and over, that you’re the most beautiful girl in the world and I am so honored to call you daughter. I have been able to experience so much with you that I wouldn’t have with just Eren….well, except for those times I put him girl clothes and he won a few titles in pageants.” They all laughed as Eren flushed red from embarrassment, “MOM!” Mikasa opened her box to a lotus flower [necklace.](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/49/41/a1/4941a107b054dfba14ae906a40e1ebe4.jpg) She hugged her second mother whom she loved with all her heart, “Thank you. I love it.” 

Carla revealed Armin’s box as he stepped forward to take it. His heart was heavy, this was like a goodbye. He thought he might lose it and get too emotional for the other. “Armin, remember what you wanted to do when you were little so badly?” Armin’s eye lit up, “See the ocean.” Carla nodded, smiling fondly. “Remember when we took you to Miami with us,” “I remember when you smuggled me to Miami with you and somehow were not arrested,” “Yes, yes that was one of Grisha’s finest moments as a father and Eren was so excited and wanted you to come that we would have done anything to make it happen. But, when we were there you went out to the beach and found your first shell, that is something I’ll always think of. I still have it, saved in a shadow box along with you know what.” Armin grinned, eyes wrinkling at the corners, face glowing, “My pearl.” “When you got the chance to shuck an oyster and found a pearl in it we couldn’t believe the luck. I’ve tried to recreate that for you in this gift I got you.” Armin opened the box to a seashell [necklace](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/18/28/82/182882b257e8bd4433ca3fa3a297dba5.jpg) and pearl. His eyes teared up as he wiped his face reaching forward to embrace Carla as he nearly collapsed from the overwhelming surge of emotions he felt. “I love you.” Carla smiled, “I love you too, angel.”

Finally it was Eren’s turn and she handed him the box without an introduction. Eren opened the box to reveal a key on a necklace. “I want you to have it. You’ve loved it ever since you were a baby and used to coo when you saw it and it was your favorite thing to ask me about. Maybe one day you’ll find the old house and it’ll open the basement door to our family’s treasures.” The key was an old family heirloom to an estate that was destroyed in war in Turkey. His mother had been passed it by her mother whose mother wrapped it around her neck on the day she left for America never to see her again. Eren understood the symbolism. His mother was leaving him and he didn’t know what for.“Momma, there aren’t words to describe how much I love it and love you. Thank you for making this the best birthday it could be.” He hugged her, smelling her hair, listening to her laugh, kissing her cheek. He put the [necklace](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/76/af/08/76af08efce4d88ceadb5fd042cd34e60.jpg) on immediately like Armin and the others had done too.

The party ended late with everyone getting into their cars. Mila’s toys packed in Mikes car almost weighed by them was a sight to see. Owen stepped up to Erwin as he opened Armin’s door, “Let’s get lunch tomorrow after your fiancé leaves. I’d like to discuss a lot of things with you.” He smiled warmly nodding to Armin as he sat in the car, “It was nice to meet you tonight, Armin Arlert. Keep my boy here well fed and in line. Take a strong hand with him if you have to.” Armin laughed shortly, covering his mouth, “Keep Erwin Smith in line? My pleasure. Did you hear that? I have orders now from a cowboy.” Erwin laughed, “He already does keep me in line. I’ll call you tomorrow and we can pick a place.” Erwin and Owen shook hands before he slid in the car.

Eren and Levi were walking across the road to Levi’s car holding leftovers and a few gifts. Levi had gotten Eren more than enough gifts that were back at the house. These gifts ranged in value and size but were not limited to a trip to the Tiergarten in Austria and a tour of a veterinary facility that was abandoned in the old Soviet Block. Eren and Levi said goodbye to his parents who were going to stay in a hotel halfway to Maria. Eren got inside the car as Levi turned on the heat to warm it up making sure no one was left behind and Donner was safely situated in the back. On their way home Levi took the long way, rubbing his jaw and fidgeting with his hands. Eren stroked the key he now wore around his neck before turning to look at Levi. 

Eren watched as his fingers twitched and the small muscles of his neck contract. He squinted into the bright lights when other cars passed them at the intersection. Levi was uncomfortable about something and Eren knew he was doing his best to deal with it. All these little things now Eren picked up on like second nature. He reached out softly touching his elbow, “Neshama?” Levi didn’t say anything but he knew he was listening, “My mother is going to leave me.” Levi kept driving, eyes tight around the corner, “What?” His voice was deep, so deep and powerful. Eren loved to hear him speak, “My momma,” he whispered, “is dying.” Levi turned the steering wheel passing their road to instead loop around, “You don’t know that.” Eren looked forward, “Yeah, I do.” The car jostled him in his seat as they went over the bumpy road turning around, “But, I’m much too stubborn to accept it so I’ve decided to save her.” Levi huffed a pitiful laugh, “You’re such a stubborn brat.” Eren grinned, “I know. “


	57. Russian memories and sexting filters

Eren woke with arms tangled around him, a sleepy command in his ear, “Brat, go back to sleep.” Eren closed his eyes almost immediately as Levi moved closer behind him. His lips grazed the back of his neck, blowing warm breath across it. His hands pressed against the skin of Eren’s stomach, one stroking up and down towards his sex. Eren was warm and loved. He might be about to receive so nice lazy morning sex so he was even more content to stay there and follow orders. 

There was a small knock on the door and then the pitter patter of feet. Eren felt the bed shift as someone moved in front of him. When he opened his eyes Levi’s hands had stopped moving but his lips stayed against his neck with the occasional feint kiss and slight lick of tantalizing tongue. In front of him was a messy haired blond blue eyed Armin who was grinning from ear to ear, “It’s tiiiimeeeee.” Eren remembered that they’d be leaving today for Gatlinburg. He woke up, reaching forward to plant kisses on Armin’s face, “Yes, yes, yes, yes!” Armin giggled hugging on to Eren, “Let’s go get ready! The we put the stuff in the car and leave!” Levi was left in the bed in the cold as they got up running to take a shower and then grab their pre-packed bags to put in the car.

Levi heard the water of the shower and slap of the towel, reminding him that it would soon be very quiet in the house and he decided to find Erwin. He walked to his room and found a pouty Erwin laying in the bed dejectedly, “Old man, they’re leaving us.” Levi shuffled over to the bed climbing in beside Erwin. Erwin pouted more, “We should ignore them” “Ha, like that would work.” “We shouldn’t even make eye contact as they leave.” “Brats wouldn’t even notice.” “They’re heartless.” “They’re little shits and we like them.”

Erwin moved his arm to nudge Levi, “Armin says we can dote on each other while they’re gone.” Levi rolled his eyes, “Are you going to dote on me?” “Please?” “No.” “Lee, don’t be like that.” “No.” “You know I’ll die without someone to love on.” “Then die.” A gasp from the doorway, “Levi!” Armin’s voice chided, “How could you say such?” Armin climbed between the men on the bed, his hair wet and face flushed, “Bye, daddy. I love you.” Erwin turned his face away, “Good day I say to you. Good day.” Armin leaned down kissing his cheek. “It’s only two weeks don’t be such a baby.” Erwin grumbled, “I’m not a baby.” Armin laid his head down on his chest, “Yeah, well you’re kind of acting like one right now and that’s my thing. You and Levi have fun.” Eren came in the room kissing Levi, “Don’t forget Isi needs food every 4 to 6 hours, Neshama.” Great, he had to take care of the deer, “Shit.”

***************************

When Eren and Armin were almost twenty minutes from Gatlinburg they were stopped by traffic. The weird shift in the weather had pushed Spring vacationers to either book later or flood the area in order to take advantage of the Spring activates and Winter activities. Armin pouted falling back in his seat, “Fucking Pigeon Forge. Has it ever not been bumper to bumper traffic? What’s so good about Spring anyway?” Eren shoved handfuls of peanuts from his snack bag into his mouth, “ _wadda slyds_ ” Armin deadpanned, “Fuck water slides. I want snow and deer and cold and pancakes and bears and junk.” Eren started to chuckle, “My God, what did Spring ever do to you? You can have that all except for cold in Spring and Summer, Arm.” “No, it will be hot, like Hades hot. That ruins everything.”

The Motown Lodge was no longer in operation which made them both very sad. They decided to stay across the street at a not so nice lodge in order to remain in the center of the city. Armin opened the door to the room walking through the bathroom’s outside vanity and then into an open room with a king size bed, table and chairs, and TV. The bathroom entry way had a small fridge, microwave, open closet for hanging coats, and strange steamer that made little sense in the very run down 1970s room. It wasn’t the best, but it would do and it wasn’t the worst place they’d ever stayed. 

The TV was on a roll away cart. It was a tube television, something Eren made all sorts of fun about since they’d never seen one except in thrift stores and movies. It had three channels and a universal remote. Eren plopped down on the bed, “Arm, whatcha wanna do?” Armin set to unpacking his things and setting them up in the closet and bathroom. “I want to go to Ripley’s Believe it or Not and then to Bubba Gumps for lunch.” Eren rubbed his stomach, “Um…I wanna do that too but swap them.” Armin smiled, “You’re always hungry.” Eren pulled him on the bed beside him, “Always.” Eren heard a phone vibrating and Armin rolled his eyes, “Erwin has texted me almost twenty times since we left. My God…” Eren snickered, “Radio silence on my end. Levi must be giving him the cold shoulder.” Armin got off the bed walking to the window to look out on the balcony and then at the river that ran behind them, “They’re hopeless without us.”

*******************

Erwin left to meet Owen for lunch as he tried Armin again. He just wanted to hear his voice. Levi, Mikasa, and David had left to go workout and he knew that if Fran and Owen were not here he’d have gone to grab Mila and spend the day with him. Erwin pulled up to the crowded downtown area where Owen’s favorite BBQ place was. He got out avoiding the out of towners that came to tour the campus. He entered the restaurant that had a tree growing in the middle of it. It had cement floors with one large window that opened from the floor up into the ceiling so during the hot months late at night they could let more air in and the smells fall into the streets and entice those from the nearby bars inside. He liked this place but hadn’t brought Armin here yet, _wow_ , he needed to do that.

”Erwin, come sit and have a beer with me.” Erwin walked over to the stool, “How about we move to a booth and I can face you?” Owen snorted, “Chief,” Erwin smiled at the nickname he’d given him when he was young, “I don’t wanna have to move.” Erwin smirked, “I’ll drink if you move. But, you should know, 12 O’clock isn’t 5.” They went to order their food taking the number assigned to them and then settled in a booth that Erwin picked near the tree. “What did you want to discuss?” Owen stretched, “How is Mike doin’?” “Really well. Hanji and Mila and he all are happy and healthy. We check in on them all the time. Levi makes meals and often he baby sits Mila.” Owen’s eyes were kind and fond, “You think it’d be wrong to ask him to move?” Erwin felt his chest tighten, “Um I…” Owen laughed, “I caught you off guard. Listen, you know we’re retired but I still own the ranch in Colorado and I think Mike might want to run it.” Erwin fidgeted with his hands, “I honestly don’t know what he’d say. You’ll just have to…ask him.”

Owen drained his beer tapping the glass on the edge of the table with a slight ping, “Well, if he says no then I want to offer it to you.” Erwin couldn’t believe it. “I…you’d want me?” “You’re like a second son. You’d be fit to run it, what with all of your business sense and then there’s that pretty little thing your gunna marry. He looks like he’d benefit from the simple life of ranching and if not he could do a lot in town with all the new money comin’ in. Schools are great up there, kids would like it.” Owen pushed, “You could get a fresh start.” Erwin was really touched that he’d been even a thought in Owen’s mind. Owen was one of his idols. He gave him his first bolo tie, taught him how to ride, helped his dad when he was having a hard time and even brought Erwin out of his shell when it came time to be a leader. He had wanted to be just like Owen when growing up and still somehow be just like his father. Two important people in his life, two important men and one of them thought enough of him to ask what he had. “I’m honored, flattered, everything but I can’t leave Maria and Armin likes it here. I own a house, I’m settled. This is where I want to have kids and this is where Levi and Eren are. I think you know, I can’t leave Levi.” Owen nodded, tapping Erwin’s forearm, “I hear ya, I hear ya. By the way,” he pulled a thinly wrapped item out of his pocket, “This one made me think of you.” Erwin opened the tissue paper to a brand new obsidian bolo, “Oh, wow this looks like it belongs with the dinner ring I got Armin. Thank you for this. It means a lot."

When their food arrived they ate silently watching the game on the TV and wiping the BBQ from their ribs on the wet naps provided, “Okay, well, was that it?” Owen chewed, his blue bolo tie glistened in the light from the windows behind Erwin, “Nope. I thought I’d lead with that before I got to the hard stuff.” Erwin cleared his throat smirking, “Okay, what is it?” “Me and your father were real close, you know? Like you and Mike, we were best friends. I was his best man when he married your mamma even thought his family nearly derailed everything with a shit storm about us, me and Frannie, not bein’ classy enough for’em.” Erwin smirked, “I didn’t know that, actually. I didn’t know they felt like that. If it makes you feel any better they’re all dead and here you are.” Owen’s eyes were lit with amusement, “I’m like a crawfish. I just live under rocks and bury deep in the mud. You can’t get rid of me.” Erwin chuckled, “I like that. It should be your family sigil.” 

Owen tapped his fingers on the table, “You know your momma wanted to have a child more than anything, right?” Erwin’s mood immediately fell again, “Yes, sir I do.” “She and your pops had a hard time.” “I know where you’re going with this.” “Figured you did. Your pops ain’t your biological pop.” Erwin’s heart hurt, “Yeah, I know.” Owen leaned back in the wooden booth, “Alright, so it ain’t all bad. Your mamma didn’t understand why they were having such problems so she went to the doctor and they said she was a fertile myrtle. Your pops knew it must be him and when he went to the doctor his tests came back and he told me he was sterile. He couldn’t understand why but he was exposed to something or another, something while traveling and they think that that made him sterile. He was devastated because as you know, most of the family was dead and he felt the weight of all of that coming down on him. But, him and Marilyn came to some sort of understanding and that’s how you came about. Your mother loved your father and I know that whatever they came to agreement about with regards to your conception was between them and right by them. It was still hard for him, though. And there was that piece of shit Jamal.”

Erwin’s hair stood up all over his body, “You know Jamal? Why is this the first time I’m hearing about it?” Owen grimaced, “Because you’re mom and I hated him, couldn’t stand him and didn’t want him around you. He was your pop’s closest friend outside of me and their relationship was just as intimate and complicated. Because he begged, Marilyn put up with him, gave him a chance, but he was horrible and she wanted him gone.” Owen tapped the table, “He had your pops in a bad place, chief. He was worming into the university and I don’t know all the details, I never got them from either Gabriel or Marilyn, though she would have told me had she lived, and I’m sorry I can’t give you more, Erwin. I can only try to remember things if you ever have specific questions.” Erwin looked at him pleadingly, “Did you know anything about her past? Do you know anything about her that dad might not have told me?” Owen shrugged, “Give a me a sec to think about it but more importantly to me, you still think of Garbiel as your pop, right?” Erwin smiled, “Of course, he raised me. He fought for me. I love him and he’ll always be my dad.”

”Marilyn was Jewish I think, but I’m not really sure if she practiced or even if your dad thought of her like that. You know, he wasn’t really about religion and you were raised Baptist, only going to church with Mike on the weekends. Hell, honestly, I’m not even that religious but I like it, the safety of it and all that. Your dad just seemed rooted in science but I’m gettin’ away from it all wit’ this.” He sighed looking out past Erwin collecting his thoughts, “Your middle name was really important to her.” “You knew I had one? I was told I didn’t and none of my paperwork ever had one.” “Well, we were supposed to have one of them….it sounds like the meat? A guy showed up with some papers and stating that he was to come when Marilyn had her child and your father ran him plain off. That’s when I overheard Ziv used but your dad never wrote it down on your certificates?” “No, I don’t legally have a middle name.” Owen seemed blown away, “That don’t make a lick of sense. Marilyn was adamant. Frannie and I knew and so did a few others. I’d have to look through some of the old stuff and see if anything comes up. I just want you to know that no matter what comes out of anything or if you ever wanna find out more, I need you to know,” He paused looking for the words, “That Jamal ain’t your father.” 

Erwin was taken aback a bit, “I know that.” Owen looked surprised, “You do?” “Yeah, I know for sure.” “Your dad kept him from you and I was hoping you’d never think he was.” _What?_ “No, he was there sometimes. I thought he, well, dad said he was my uncle?” Owen tisked, “No, he kept him at arm’s length. I know he saw you and he was pretty obsessed with you. A few times I stepped in, suggested you come and stay with Mike. Frannie got in a fight with him more than once about you. She wanted to take a restraining order out on’im.” 

Erwin was feeling very tired, upset, confused, “I just…who was the so called uncle that used to stop by? My dad would play my mother’s records, that one song, and I knew it had to be him.” Owen took a moment, “What song?” “Bang, Bang.” Owen nodded, “Well, I’m sure he played that for Jamal but were their other times someone stopped by and he didn’t play that song? Maybe a different one?” Erwin tried to think of something.

A whirl of music filled his mind as he remembered his father and his records. He knew that something must have been different about this man he saw as his uncle. Could he have merged both of these men into one and that’s how he had forgotten one? Owen leaned forward, “You know, was there anything ever played out of the ordinary?” He seemed to be honestly asking, sincerely trying to help Erwin. Erwin thought back to his earliest memories and there were a few that stood out.

  
*Poka Zemlya esche vertitsya,  
poka esche yarok svet,  
Gospodi, day zhe tyi kazhdomu,  
chego u nego net:  
umnomu day golovu,  
truslivomu day konya,  
day schastlivomu deneg  
I ne zabud pro menya.

Poka Zemlya esche vertitsya  
Gospodi, tvoya vlast!  
day rvuschemusya k vlasti  
navlastvovatsya vslast,  
day peredyishku schedromu,  
hot do ishoda dnya.  
Kainu day raskayanie  
I ne zabud pro menya.  


”Russian, sometimes he played Russian songs from mother’s last recordings. She did a lot in Russian. She also did a lot in Hebrew and Swedish when she was pregnant with me.” Owen hummed, “Might be a clue. She was….your mother was one of the most intelligent individuals to probably ever walk God’s green earth. She had a rough damn life, Erwin. Before she met your pop she went through some bad shit and all she ever wanted was him, you, and to be left the fuck alone, honestly.” Erwin reached out tapping his hand, “Will you tell me more about my parents, Owen?” He smiled nodding, “’Course I will. It might not all be happy but lemme tell you, you was loved and we raised a lot of hell.”

**********************8

Five days into their little friendship vacation Eren awoke to the darkness in their room, a thin strip of bright white light forced its way through the curtain’s edge which had annoyed Armin so much he tacked the curtain to the wall. They had had fun and were staying another seven days, something Eren was very excited about because they’d mostly stayed in the city or the forest camping in the near frigid temperatures like they had when they were kids. Honestly, they stayed out so late every day that when or if they came back to the room they passed out when the sun was coming up.

Armin moved next to him, his hair messy and spread out on the pillow. “Mmmmm that fucking window.” His voice was annoyed and still heavy with sleep, “Ha, I know. It’s doing it to spite you.” Armin opened his eyes, “How is Levi?” Eren smirked, “Oh it’s so bad.” Armin laughed, “Then why are you smirking?” Eren laughed shortly stretching himself, “I know I shouldn’t smirk but it’s nice to hold this amount of power over him.” “Erwin sends me depressing pictures.” “I know! He’s got Levi doing it too. They sent us that one where they were sitting at the dinner table and in front of them were cheerios and milk spilled over the table. Donner and Commander were by them and they were all frowning. It was so fucking funny.”

Armin snuggled closer, “Erwin sends me ones of the bed where he captions them “Where you should be,” and “Cold without my baby.” He did it last time we didn’t see each other very much and he always does it when we don’t have sex for a while, which for me a while is like a week and that’s not that long in the real world so I don’t know when he started keeping the same definition.” Eren giggled, “You’ve conditioned him.” Armin huffed moving closer to Eren tracing loose circles oh his chest, “I’ve taken years off that man’s life. I’ll have to tone it down if he’s gunna make it to forty without breaking his hip.” Eren snorted, “We can heal that now real easy.” “That’s right! I can literally break him and just BAM he’s all better in a day or two. I shall no longer reign my desires in or lower my expectations. He’ll just have to meet them.” 

“Do you think we’re mean sending pictures of us having fun to them?” Armin snorted rolling his eyes, “No. I like torturing them.” Eren chuckled, “OOOOH That’s so sadistic Armin.” “You like it too.” “Duh but I don’t say it.” “Well, I send Erwin teasers so that makes up for it.” “What kind of teasers?” “Um use your imagination, idiot.” “Oh, wow. Are they really explicit? Maybe I’m not a good sexter because mine never get a reaction out of Levi that I want.”

”What do you normally send?” “Ummm…me…?” Eren showed Armin his phone and then Armin shrugged, “Those are good…I mean…I’d have liked to receive them.” He grinned raising and lowering his eyebrows comically as Eren stuck his tongue out at him. “Erwin doesn’t sext so it’s a one way street and I am hoping that will change one day soon.” “Same here. I want sexy photos of my husband sent at the drop of a hat.” “Here are mine.” Eren flipped through them, “These are way better than mine, I think. Did you use a filter?” “Um on a few yeah.” “What filter do you use for sexts?” “The sext filter.” Armin giggled pulling his phone away, “Like Lux is good because I’m so pale and it can obscure things and make them more mysterious.” “I wonder if Intsagram knew we’d use their filters for sexts all along.” “They tots did, Eren.”

Eren and Armin proceeded to play on their phones teaching each other tricks here and there. They each sent a few off to their lovers and waited. “So, Armin?” “Hm?” “I wanna talk to you about something serious.” “Okay, shoot.” “It’s hard to talk about.” “That’s the point of us on this trip. You can tell me anything.” Eren rolled on to his side, “Mom is dying.” Armin grimaced, “Full disclosure, I know. She’s got cancer Eren. I’m glad were having this conversation because since your birthday party it’s been killing me knowing.” Eren’s brow furrowed, “How?” “Jean’s mother is going to be her nurse when she starts treatment, as in she’ll check in with her and stuff while your dad is away. That’s why Delaine and Gio aren’t moving right now. She told Jean because he thought it was her. Your mother doesn’t want you to know because she doesn’t want to ruin your wedding.” Eren laughed, “Oh God, this is not funny but I don’t know what else to do but laugh.” “She’s so headstrong….like you.” “My momma thinks my wedding is more important….damn….” “But, Eren, you know I’ve been thinking.” “Me too.” “Do you know what I’m thinking?” “That we’re going to save her.” “Exactly.”

Armin leaned forward kissing him, “I think...that…” Eren pulled him closer, “What?” “Let me work with you. I’ve got so many credits that even taking this year off hasn’t derailed me and my degree. Erwin’s got me signed up for all online classes for the summer and I know that they’ll be heavy in papers but the perks of having an amazing fiancé is that he knows the reading list and I’ve already gotten started. So, let me help you in your research. I can take up a second major if need be.” Eren was very surprised but touched, this was so Armin, “You’d want to get that involved that you’d tack on another major?” “Yeah, if that’s what it takes.”

”Armin, thank you. I’ll talk to Hanji about it and Levi but I’m sure that having you will make it all go smoother and a hell of a lot faster.” Armin smiled, “Good, I wub youuuu.” “I wub you too Arm.” Armin hugged Eren tighter, “It’s going to work. It’s going to be fine. Look what you did with Erwin? It’s going to be fine. Plus, imagine how Levi will re-act. He doesn’t believe in failure.” 

Eren perked up, “Oh, that reminds me. My dad asked if Levi would run the hospital in Maria when he buys it. He says he’d going to buy so the southeast isn’t without medical care and that in two years the manager would be leaving and he wanted Levi to become the manager and head surgeon.” Armin squirmed in the bed, “OH MY GOD THAT’S SO COOL!” Eren smiled brightly, “Yeah, I was so shocked and I think Levi was really happy. It means a lot that my dad wants to do that, to me and Levi I mean. Also, it further cements us here in Maria. Can’t wait to fill that barn with animals.” Armin pouted, “Just the barn has you excited?” Eren leaned forward rubbing his nose against Armin’s, “Um and growing old with my best friend of course. We’re going to run Maria. We’re going to be motherfucking legends.”

Armin’s phone vibrated, “Um…instead of sending me a sexy photo back like I asked he sent me a photo of him on a couch with Levi who is asleep on his shoulder with Mila asleep on his chest. Look.” He held the phone up to Eren’s face, “We’ve been replaced by a baby.” Eren couldn’t help but coo at the cute picture. “I know but wait…there’s another one.” Eren slid the photo to the side revealing the other one. He burst into laughter. “It’s Erwin and Levi making duck lips and holding up peace signs and then there is another one with Hanji and Mike and they’re all throwing gang signs, my God. HaShem help us.” 

Armin giggled, “Let’s start a game, Eren.” Eren’s eyes narrowed, lips pursed, “Oh yeah, I can get behind that. We can call room service and just commit to it for the whole day. We need a rest. My feet hurt from hiking on those sharp ass rocks.” Armin snickered, “That’s what happens when you think you know better than the rangers who mark trails. We end up on mountain faces and cliffs.”

Over the next three hours Eren and Armin sent a plethora of sexy pictures and requests to their lovers. Each time to be met with strange and hilarious replies. Erwin started to progress, in Eren’s opinion. He sent funny ones but eventually Armin got him to send them a tantalizing shot of his stomach to which Eren wrote back, “Show us your tits.” They had a good laugh about that and even more when Erwin sent a picture of him pressing his pecks together with his shirt unbuttoned to create the illusion of small breasts. Armin had written plenty of steamy things back that had Eren squirming. But, Levi was entire other matter. 

Eren asked him to send something cute so he sent a picture of Eren holding Mila at the birthday party. He asked for something risky and it was a selfie of Levi opening Marco and Jean’s bedroom door where Eren knew Levi considered to be the most dangerous room in the house as far as hygiene. They were asleep on the bed and could be seen through the crack in the door. The floor was a mess. The best was when asked to send a picture of something hot he sent Eren a picture of a pot with boiling water in it.

”We need to up the ante here.” Eren grumbled falling back on the bed. Armin leaned over eating his fruit bowl they had from their extensive room service order. He poked at Eren with the end of the fork. They were surprised they even had the option of room service at this place since it was so strange and old. “We could….I don’t know…make a video? You know they say men are visual creatures and they like stimulation on multiple levels. A video offers sound and movement.” Eren thought about what he said and chewed on his lip, “Okay, hear me out, what if we send them videos of us, you know alone and then, doing stuff?” Armin nodded, “Okay. You know we haven’t fooled around in forever now that I think about it.” Eren looked surprised too, “Yeah, hmmm didn’t even think about that.” “I guess we were being super responsible and like, actually working on us and junk? Plus the first half of the week we did keep it super heave talking about me and Abulafia. That kind of kills my mood.” Eren smirked, “But, now?” Armin snorted, “All good and easily gotten into the mood. Especially if it means tormenting our significant others. I kind of want to make Erwin cry. Hahaha” Eren barked a laugh, “Damn, that’s so sick, Armin. But, kind of yeah, I feel the same.” And thus started the video wars.

Armin sent videos of himself to Erwin of increasingly explicit nature just like Eren did. The results were unexpected. Erwin seemed to send more photos of him in increasingly sexy situations, laying on the bed, peaks of his bottom, his hip flexors, hands trailing down the V of his stomach, and some other things that he knew Armin liked about him. Eren, however, started getting videos of Isi eating out of Levi’s hand, Donner barking, Commander purring as he laid on Levi’s bare chest, and then there were a few tantalizing ones of his smirk, his hand moving up and down his stomach moving the shirt to expose more flesh, a bite of the lip and swipe of the tongue. Eren was certainly heating up at those. “Okay, let’s hit them where it hurts, Arm.”

**********************

Levi found Erwin sitting at the piano in the living room, “You going to play or just stroke the ivory?” Erwin turned to face him, “Or stroke something else. I’m trying to not absolutely die from the sheer amount of racy things I have received today. I was holding it together pretty well but damn….daaaaamn. They started sending those videos and I’m now acutely aware that my stamina has rose to meet this nymph I’m marrying but now I can’t use that because he’s not here and and….Levi this is hell, this is what purgatory is like for Catholics.” Levi snorted nicking his head to the side, “Come sit. I think they’re done for now.” On the couch Levi moved to sit neatly pressed against Erwin’s side, “So, we’re almost one week in but how will we make it another week?” Erwin laughed heartily, “God, I can’t…I can’t make it Lee. I can’t make it at all without him and you and Eren and I am dying.” Levi snorted, “It’s tough. I’m glad I have you,though.” Erwin’s face brightened at the affectionate tone, “Oh, that was so nice-“ Levi continued, “Because at least you help feed Isi.” Erwin’s face fell, “Oh, I should have known you weren’t going somewhere heartfelt with that.” Levi didn’t say anything. “Well, I guess when I move to Colorado you won’t mind.” 

The hairs stood up on the back of Levi’s neck, “What did you just say?” Erwin nodded, “Owen asked me to take over the farm and move to Colorado to do it.” Levi didn’t move, “You’re going to move? To do that…you’re leaving to do that?” Erwin let him dangle even if that was a bit cruel before he sighed, “No, of course I told him no.” Levi stayed stoic, “What words did you use?” “I told him that I was settled here, owned a home here, and this is where you and Eren were and where I wanted to raise my kids.” Levi nodded swallowing down the anxiety he had felt. Erwin knew how to fuck with him but he always proved how much he cared about him as well. “Eineiym sheli, I am glad that you said no. Dr. Jaeger wants me to take over the hospital here in about two or three years after he buys it.” He paused awkwardly, “I’m not going anywhere .” 

Erwin smiled leaning over to bump their heads together softly, “I know you’re not Levi. Where else would you find a kosher kitchen like the one we have here?” Levi patted his arm leaning up to kiss him, their lips moving against one another softly. “I’ve enjoyed spending time with you this week.” Erwin gave him an amused look, “Wow, you must have because you’re never this affectionate. We’ve had fun. It’s odd just being by ourselves now, right?” Levi nodded. He had enjoyed reliving the old times with just he and Erwin. Now they had a house of animals and that was strange but not too bad. “It is. But, it’s nice because being with you helps me and now I feel sure about what my next move needs to be in regards to helping Eren’s mother and about taking the position that Dr. Jaeger has offered. I couldn’t have come to the conclusions I have without you taking the time this week to talk it out with me and put up with my….peculiarities.” He shifted nervously, he was being very open right now, “I would suggest that we should throw down like we used to but then again…all of our friends are old now, too. Who the hell would we even call?” Erwin laughed as both of their phones buzzed. The messages were titled: Not for polite company. “Brats at least have the common decency to label something.” Erwin smirking, “This must be bad.” They opened the videos, Levi started taking a drink of his water. “What even is this?” Erwin asked before hitting play. Levi hit play as well and then immediately spit his water across the floor, “That’s just low.” Armin and Eren were tangled together in the bed. The point of view from above as Armin bit Eren’s lower lip, moaning as his tongue traced the captured piece of flesh. Eren’s hands rubbed over Armin’s shoulders and chest and then out of the camera’s scope of view. Both boys were very vocal for their watching lovers. Erwin flushed, “Damn. That’s hot.” Levi stared before the video ended, “What the fuck. Those brats send us ten seconds of teasing and that’s it?” Erwin chuckled, “I wanna know what those hands were doing and where those lips were going.”

Levi finished his water, “Okay, let’s get wild and send our own.” Erwin seemed amused, “Of teasing?” Levi smirked, “Not off the bat, no. That’s what they want us to do so we can’t give them what they want.” Erwin snorted, he stood up brushing his pants off and tried to will his half hard erection back down,“Of course not.” Levi smirked walking to the kitchen, mumbling, “Of course not,” before diabolically laughing. Needless to say both entered the kitchen and set to drinking and creating debauchery. 

*************************

Eren and Armin opened their phones to a video of Levi and Erwin sliding down the stairs on container lids. Eren screeched, “I HAVE WANTED TO DO THAT SO MANY TIMES AND HE HAS TOLD ME NO!” Armin hit for the next video seeing Erwin and Levi drinking shots of vodka and dancing in the kitchen while something burned on the stove causing flames to lick at the hood and smoke to create a hazy look in the room. Eren threw himself on the bed, “WE NEVER GET TO DO THIS STUFF!” Armin chewed his lip, “Oh, Eren….you know what? This means we’re getting to them. We need to send the other videos and think up a finale.” The phone buzzed and another video appeared of loud rap music with Erwin sitting on the now moved couch like a mob boss and Levi shirtless dancing in front of him….on a “Is that a stripper pole? Do…do we have a stripper pole in the house?” Armin was very confused as Eren blushed watching the short video, “We apparently have a stripper pole. I….I….did you see how Levi worked that damn pole. I had no idea I was married to a closet stripper.” Armin replayed the video, his face curious and watchful,“I wanna learn so baaaaad. Do you think Levi would teach me?” Eren shrugged, “I don’t know but I like where this is all going.” 

*******************

Erwin sat on the couch finishing his scotch while Levi wiped his chest with a towel, “I bet that did it. Plus, I’m glad I was able to move this upstairs and out of storage. Maybe a stripper poll in the living room isn’t so bad.” Erwin laughed, “Oh, yes, leave it up for the wedding. I’m sure everyone will think nothing of it.” Levi slinked over to the couch, “You enjoyed that didn’t you? You’re such a dirty old man.” Erwin took his hips making him sit in his lap, “I did enjoy that, very much. You should dance for me more often. Just like in the good ole days. Maybe you could teach Armin? It wouldn’t be the same but I’d enjoy getting to watch two beautiful creatures dance before me.” He kissed the nape of Levi’s neck and shoulder. Levi shuddered at the stimulations, “Anything from the brats?” His voice stayed the same, he was so proud of his control. Control meant everything to him. Erwin mumbled against his skin, “Uh uh.” He continued as Levi squirmed a bit, “We should take Mila to _Leap Frogs_ this week.” Erwin’s lips still moved to press open kisses to his skin, “Whatever you want, captain but people are gunna start thinking she’s ours.” Levi closed his eyes, “I don’t mind that at all.” Erwin smiled ceasing his affections, “So affectionate today, my goodness. What has gotten in to you?” The phone buzzed, this time it was just Erwin’s and the video was much longer.

”That’s a long video. I bet it’s full of smut.” Levi leaned forward clicking play. Long pale legs and perk bottom on display standing and leaning across a hotel bed, tan hands tracing the skin before moving behind and sliding inside of the willing and lithe form before it. Hands tracing around to pull the hips back and higher and bend the body, back arching divinely. A hand in the hair pulling the head back revealing the delicate neck and open mouth lost in rapture. The lips of both now moving together as hips piston. Long moments lost in bliss and passion as the two turn to animals lost in instinct. 

Levi and Erwin watched as a full out sex tape played before them of their lovers who played to the camera just for them, even showing a few things that neither had experienced with either of them alone in the throes of passion. Erwin moved uncomfortably as Levi shifted too, “I can feel you.” “Well, I’m a little more than turned on by this.” Levi started to reply the tape, remarking with a rare and inflected speech of surprise and amusement,“They will kill us, Commander.” Erwin nodded watching the way Eren moved against Armin’s body and the way Armin curved to meet him like he was so familiar, something he knew he did with Levi. “We’re halfway dead, Lee.” Levi jumped suddenly noticing something he hadn’t seen the first time, “DAAAMN did you see that?” Erwin thought he might lose all sense of control, “I’m seeing everything. Don’t you dare delete this. Your finger on the screen holding it up makes me very scared you might accidentally delete this.” Levi huffed, offended and upset at the increasing pressure his pants put on his cock, “Send this to me.” It was a command but Erwin didn’t care. “No, it was sent to me.”Levi elbowed him, “Erwin, I’ll make your life hell.” _Oh, well, yeah you would do that._ He nodded, “I’ll send it.” The tape was ending, “Shit.” “Shit.” Erwin groaned at a particularly intense moment as Levi drank more. “Well, we gotta send one back that’s hotter.” “Hotter than this? Impossible.” Levi turned to Erwin, “I’m Levi Ackermann, I am sex.” Erwin chuckled, _wow, a little like Armin are we?_ “Oh however did I forget?”

****************

Eren and Armin caught their breath as they waited for any kind of reaction. Eren exhaled sharply, grinning, “It’s always nice sleeping with you. I’m glad we’re on this trip together just the two of us.” Armin patted Eren’s stomach, “You’re a great lay, Eren. You got a real pretty mouth.” He said with the best exaggerated southern accent he could, “And just think, you’ve got me forever.” Armin smiled as he drank some of the water left in his water bottle. He winked at Eren, “I want to know what they’re going to send back. Also, do you want to go skiing tomorrow? We can go on top of the mountain and skate, too.” 

Eren thought about it, “Sure. But, why don’t we just go up the other lift down here and do that one tomorrow. Armin put on his poker face, _Because I hate that fucking lift._ “Because, I wanna do that specific one, Erenush.” Eren jumped, “Oh my God, you’re not my rabbi, don’t use Erenush with me like ever.” “Why?” “Because he calls me that _OR_ Levi calls me that when I’m in trouble.” “Really?” “Yes, it’s an immediate sign I’m in deep shit.” “Like the junk drawer?” “Yes, just like the junk drawer.” Armin laughed before rolling on his side, “You should see the drawers on Erwin’s side of the room. I try to keep them tidy but he just gets lazy and doesn’t put things in the way-“ Eren held up a finger, the key his mother gave him tingling as he rolled over on his side, “No, no, no Armin you and Levi have the same affliction where it’s probably just fine but you two think that since you didn’t clean it or approve of the method used to clean it it isn’t clean and the same thing with clothes. You hung my stuff here to go in order of size and color. There is just no reason for it.” Armin pouted, “Well,….we’re just right.” Eren leaned over kissing his forehead, “Yeah, right.”

The phone vibrated and Eren picked it up so fast Armin saw only a blur. He slid his finger across the screen bringing the video up and then _SMACK_ ! Eren dropped his phone on his face causing Armin to lose it laughing so hard he cried, Eren groaned, Armin laughed harder “Oh my God!” Eren’s eyes stung, “I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS!” The room was alive in Armin’s Schadenfreude laughter, “Ju-st j-just p-play it!” Eren unlocked the screen again rubbing his nose, “Oh, it’s long too.” Armin jumped, “PLAY IT.” Eren pressed play:

The perspective of the camera was different than theirs. It was in someone’s hand and moving a bit. Levi’s lips appeared, devious and seductive smirk playing at the corners, “ _Brats,_ ” his voice was so sensual and arousing both felt their face heat up and Eren let out a small, “damn,” before the camera was situated down on the side by the headboard. Levi was naked on his stomach, the camera providing a close up of his face panning down his sculpted body to show a nude Erwin straddling his waist bent over kissing up his spine, hands trailing around, one disappearing inside of him and one up his sides. Levi’s face was against the pillow blissed out and alluring as Erwin made his way up to his shoulder blades and then the crook of his neck kissing and biting, marking his territory and fingering his alabaster concubine beneath him. By the time they got started actually having sex Armin and Eren were already squirming in their spots on the bed, Eren was the first to speak,“This is the hottest shit I have seen.” 

Armin crossed his legs, “If this was porn it would win awards.” “I have a nose bleed.” “I am literally gushing blood from my nose, too.” “Oh my god what are they even doing?” Armin’s eyes were wide, his voice an awed whisper, “I don’t know. That must come with age.” Eren shook his head, “Is this…were they porn stars? Armin do you think Erwin and Levi did porn?” There was intense moment that made both boys seize up as their bodies flushed hot, “Does that turn him on? Do you do that to Levi?” Eren’s mouth was wide open, gawking, “No, but I need to. Has Erwin ever?” Armin stroked his chest soothingly, “No, and I need him to.” “My husband is actually making noises. You know how quiet he is. He’s like…a moaning whore right now.” “His noises makes me feel things.” Eren nodded, “All the things.” Armin cleared his throat, “All the things are being felt right now.” “I don’t want to turn this off.” “I feel like we should pause it to appreciate it more.” “Oh my god it’s ending.” “Nooooo but omg omg omg. O M G THAT’S SO FUCKING HOT!”

When the video was over both boys remained stunned and unmoving. Eren turned to Armin, “What did we watch?” Armin shook his head, “It has changed me.” Eren’s hands moved through his hair before he looked back to Armin. Eren’s voice a cautious whisper, “Do you…do you wanna try some of what we saw?” “Do you think we’re….advanced enough for that?” “I dunno, Arm. That’s why I’m asking you..” Armin chewed the inside of his cheek, his nose wrinkling as he thought, “Maybe like….a few things….yeah…but I’m gunna need to re-watch and map some stuff out.” “I cannot believe that that is how they have sex.” “I can’t believe we sent them what we did. That wasn’t even the best. I want a re-do.” “Oh my god, Arm, what if we try some of these moves and die or hurt ourselves and we can’t go skiing?” “It’s just the chance we gotta take.” Eren suddenly remembered something about Erwin’s penis he’d never discussed with Armin, “BTW’s did you know Erwin was circumcised late in life?” Armin threw his hands around Eren’s face, “WHAT UH UHHH! HE NEVER MENTIONED THAT TO ME!” “Yeah…because of a dare. You know it had to involve Levi.” “Wuuuutttttttt.” Eren’s stomach growled loudly, “Well, it’s time to eat again.” “My Lord, Eren. When will you ever have enough to eat?” “Never!”

Armin called for dinner to be brought in while Eren went into the bathroom. They re-watched the tape before attempting a few re-creations. Afterwards, Eren and Armin ended up watching cartoons and mapping out the possible types of cancer his mother might have and what stages. They were trying to keep things light, keep it positive, and keep this vibe going of healing and bonding. Eren wrapped Armin in his arms as they started to fall asleep, “I’m so sorry all of those horrible things happened to you overseas Armin. I know that we had this conversation or conversations earlier in the week but I just wanted to tell you again that I’m sorry.” Armin stroked the side of his face tenderly, “That means a lot to me. I am feeling so much better, calmer, and loved. Not like we’ve got this…cavern between us anymore. Next trip needs to be to a beach.” Eren grinned, “Okay, deal.”

********************

Armin was dreaming about Erwin and Levi. He was dreaming about Eren. He found himself holding a little child with messy curly blonde hair as he stood in a forest of snow and dead trees but he wasn’t afraid. He felt determined. He trudged through the snow and up to small cabin where everyone he loved was inside. He was happy to be coming home to them. He went to open the door but it wouldn’t open so he started knocking on it looking to the window at the side for a sign someone was coming. The knocking continued even when he wasn’t doing it. Suddenly he felt like the child he carried was in danger, he wrapped his arms tightly around it as the noise grew louder and louder _boom boom boom boom boom boom_.

When he opened his eyes he knew it had been a dream but he missed the child and he was concerned about Eren. He turned over finding him with a pillow over his head. Armin rolled his eyes, the knocking coming from their door. Obviously he would now have to open it to an ignorant maid who didn’t notice their do not disturb sign. Armin pulled on his pajama pants not bothering to put a shirt on and shuffled to the door. 

He opened the door fully expecting a soft spoken woman to apologize for waking them and then he’d tell them to come back later. Did that clock say 6 am? What? That’s too early for them to be up and making rounds. This bitch was in for it. He opened the door wide, face angry and annoyed as the bone chilling air swept in in a gush, “Shefeleh,” like black tendrils of smoke and sensuality, “you look rode hard and put up wet.” That dark stormy voice slapped him in the face. Levi was mere inches from him and Erwin stood behind him like a pack mule with bags, “We can’t check in until noon so how about you let us in and get some sleep since we drove all night?” Armin didn’t know what to say as Levi pushed inside, his body rubbing against him as he passed delightfully. Erwin swooped down kissing him passionately, “God, I’ve missed you baby.” He put their bags down grabbing Armin up into his arms and then moving towards the bed where they all collapsed. Apparently, this was not longer their trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****** Song Translation (First Half)  
> "While yet the Earth is revolving,  
> While yet the daylight is broad,  
> Lord, pray, give everyone  
> Whatever they have in want:  
> Give the wise one more brilliance,  
> The coward a horse to flee,  
> Give the happy some money…  
> And don't forget about me.
> 
> While yet the Earth is revolving –  
> Lord, yours is the power!  
> Give those fighting for power  
> To rule however much they desire;  
> Give relief to the generous  
> At least until the eve;  
> Bestow upon Cain repentance…  
> And don't forget about me."


	58. We Jews Don't Believe In Spirits

Eren rolled over feeling very warm. He opened his eyes, “Erwin?” Erwin Smith was in his bed. But, how? They were in a completely different state. Eren sat up noticing that in between Erwin and Levi was Armin. A little rude since you know, Levi was his husband and what the hell was even Levi doing here? He crawled off his side and went to the other one where he shook Levi’s shoulder, “Um Levi?” Levi’s eyes fluttered open, “Brat, get the fuck back in to bed.” “Um why are you here?” Levi looked more than annoyed, “I’m here because I want to be here.” Eren blinked, “It’s….almost 12 when did you even get here?” “At 6.” “Like 6 am?!” “Yes.” “Well, wake the fuck up because Armin and I are going to get pancakes and you will not derail our routine.” Levi’s eyes opened shocked at what and _how_ Eren said the words.

Like magic Armin awoke, his voice excited, “Pancakes? Are we getting ready to go to the Pancake Pantry?” Eren smiled, “Yep.” Armin climb out of bed from between the two men. “Let’s take a shower. We’re nasty.” Both boys went to take a shower as Levi blinked the sleep from his eyes. He left the room, heading to the office to check in and get their own room key and then back up to the room next to Armin and Eren where they’d asked to be. Eren thought he was so clever not telling him where they were staying. He only had to call and threaten a few people to find out where he was and to get a room right next door, _just in case he had to protect them from creepers, totally not because he’s jealous and misses Eren and Armin. Not at all._ He opened the door and then the door that linked their rooms together. He put their things inside before waking Erwin, “We need to get showered and get food. They want to go to this place, I don’t know, my head hurts, let’s just clean up.” 

After they all washed and clothed themselves they set off in relative silence down the sidewalk till they got to the Pancake Pantry. It was normally a two hour wait but today it was only an hour. Most of the time Eren and Armin beat the rush but now they could order off the lunch menu if they wanted to but who would do that? There were cups for free coffee while one waited and Eren and Armin grabbed them all a cup before taking their place back in line. Erwin shifted annoyed with the wait, “What is out number?” Armin looked up blowing on his coffee, “52.” “52! My god, who do I bribe?” Armin smiled, standing up and down on his tiptoes, adorable kitten hat on and white pea coat with pink and green pastel paid scarf, “You can’t do that. There are people who try and they get kicked out of line. So, if you love me, don’t make that choice because I will disown you over Pancake Pantry pancakes. Ask Eren about Jean in 06. It’s not something you want to do to yourself.”

Erwin stood to the side looking around, “Baby?” Armin looked up, “Yes?” Erwin fidgeted with his black wool double breasted coat, leather gloves looking handsome against his broad chest, his voice was small, “You don’t seem excited that I’m here.” Armin blinked, “Um, well, dear, you’re not supposed to be here.” Eren snickered, “Ooooo you go a dear. Listen, as one man to another, let him alone will we get pancakes.” Levi’s arm snaked around Eren’s waist pulling him into his side, “Are you excited that I’m here?” Eren leaned down capturing him in a sweet kiss, “Always captain but Armin’s right, you’re kind of not supposed to be here. We can talk about it inside.” The couples watched the taffy be pulled in the large window of the candy shop before they were eventually called in an hour later.

Once they sat, the waitress came over with coffee and cokes for Armin and Eren. “Well, I saw you two and took this table.” Eren and Armin smiled before chorusing together, “MERADITH!” She opened her pad, “Same thing?” They shook their head yes, “And you two gentlemen?” Erwin and Levi looked around at the menu, “He’ll have the Wild berry crepes with the special crème and sugar. You know what I mean.” Eren winked, “And to drink he’ll have coffee and tea towards the end of the meal.” Armin leaned forward smiling delightfully and pointing to Erwin, “He’ll have the Original Buttermilk Pancakes with bacon, eggs sunny side up, and toast. Coffee and orange juice, please. Bring the real sugar for him, not that other stuff or the ones in bag already.” Erwin and Levi were left sputtering as they were ordered for and then the woman disappeared into the literally packed restaurant. Erwin looked at Armin, “Since when do you order for me?” Armin grinned, “Need I remind you of your actions on our first date?” Erwin shut up putting his napkin in his lap.

Eren drank some of his coffee, “Levi, who is watching Isi and Donner?” Levi blinked, _Uh oh, will they even remember?_ He kept calm, “Jean and Marco.” Eren nodded, “Okay, so what made y’all drive almost six hours up here in the middle of the night?” Levi gave Eren a very un-amused look, “Isn’t it obvious? We wanted to be with you two.” Eren blushed, “That’s so sweet.” Armin smirked, “It was the videos, wasn’t it?” Erwin cleared his throat, “We are not merely base animals.” Eren snickered, “It was the videos.”

When their food arrived Armin and Eren tore into their plates barely taking time to breathe as they inhaled their food. Levi looked at his with suspicion until Eren leaned over putting some on his fork and offering it to Levi, “Yur gunna luv it,” he mumbled around his food. Levi gave him a scolding look, “Brat, don’t talk with your-“ Eren pushed the fork past his parted lips and Levi ate the bite. He was right. It was just as good as the French crepes he loved in Paris. Erwin ate without so much as a word all that was ordered for him. Even if it had been shit Levi knew he’d do it for Armin. Poor Erwin, such a sap. _I am no better….fuck._

Afterwards they all walked around the city before ending up at the lift that went up to the first landing of the mountain. Armin absolutely hated this lift. He hated lifts in general and heights. But, this particular lift went straight up the mountain at an extreme angle that made one feel like they were dangling from string that was unraveling and were seconds from falling backwards like the ascent up a steep rollercoaster. Armin had tried to get over his fear every time they came and never told anyone he hated it. Eren and Jean loved this lift and fought over which one of them would sit with him. Little did they know he’d have rather just skipped it and they have gone up without him. Levi and Erwin stopped as Eren turned around smiling, “Let’s ride to the top, Arm! Just like old times. Get the picture and then come back down to head up to the other one. Pleaseeeeee.”

Armin looked at the lift, inhaling as he wanted to vomit at the thought of going up it again, “Um, how about you go with Levi?” Levi’s eye widened a millimeter before Erwin chuckled, “No, Levi won’t go up that one. It’s too steep an angle.” Armin spun around to face him, “I can’t Levi, please. I can’t do it. I hate it.” Eren was confused, “Wait, what? You hate this lift? Nooooooo.” Armin looked at him giving him a pleading look, “Eren I do.” Eren studied him, “But, we’ve done if for years…” he offered weakly, “and…you’ve just never said anything?” Armin shook his head, “It makes me freak out. I get hot. I want to vomit and the entire time I get so tense I can feel my muscles shake.”

Levi nodded, “Same. Roller coasters?” Armin’s eyes were petrified, “I _hate_ them.” Eren sputtered, “W-w-w-hhhhatttt??? IMPOSSIBLE YOU LOVE THEM YOU SCREAM THE WHOLE- oh….oh…..oh my God…..” Erwin wrapped his arm around Armin, “Baby, wow….you’ve put up with that for this long that Eren never knew?” Armin nodded, “I didn’t want to be a wet blanket,” he mumbled shyly looking at the floor, “Do you think I’m lame now?” Erwin chuckled, “No, but I’ll go with Eren. This works out because I love these things. Will you ride with me Eren? These two can sit back and get some caramel apples.” Erwin patted Eren’s shoulder, “Shall we?” They headed off waving at the other two before getting in the lift as it came around.

Armin stood with Levi for a second watching as they started slowly across the street, “I can’t even really watch them. It bothers me.” Levi said softly, “Apples?” Armin smiled, “Yes, please.” They walked to the candy store across the street, Levi opened the door for Armin, ordered for him, and paid for their treats as Armin looked on amusedly, “I feel like we’re on a date,” he giggled as they left finding a bench to wait on. Levi’s face never changed as he bit into his apple, “We are.” Armin hummed, “I wish I had known. I would have dressed better.” Levi was still silent but that was okay. 

They watched the people pass by, “Levi?” Armin began, “I was thinking.” Levi looked at him, “About?” “Will you teach me how to pole dance.” Levi’s eyes glinted with amusement, “You want to learn, really?” Armin grinned, “Yeah.” “Okay. I can do that.” “I was also thinking about something else.” Levi leaned back, one arm on the back of the bench behind Armin, “Are you of the tribe Levi?” Levi was surprised, “Why?” Armin remained stoic, “Come on, play along.” Levi tilted his head to the side, _Okay shefeleh,_ “My mother told me I was. She was very adamant about it. Ackermann is Ashkenazi so I knew he wasn’t trying to tell me that I was ethnically Jewish. But, she was very concerned that I knew I was of the tribe Levi and therefore a Levite like David. He’s a Lavie and that’s pretty self explanatory.” “Was Ackermann your father’s last name?” “My mother’s maiden name.” “Ah, I thought that might be so.”

Levi leaned over, “Care to explain the questioning?” Armin’s eye twinkled, “This week Eren and I have of course been working on us and it’s great. While we had down time where he was watching TV I would keep on reading about some things I’ve thought about and I’ve thought of something potentially important. You have experience with humans and Eren is pretty animal centric so let me save time and ask you first: do you think that the Y chromosome of the Levites and Cohen’s might hold the key to the serum and why it didn’t attack the metal in your leg and ALSO do you think that it coupled with the O negative blood cells absent of antigens might create a mutation that could help Carla Jaeger?” Levi sat motionless, blinking occasionally, as he processed Armin’s words.

Armin’s lips were sticky with caramel as he pulled the last bit of apple from the stick and Levi surged forward capturing them, tenderly, and passionately praising them with his own movements. Armin made a small noise in the back of his throat, caught off guard and more than surprised by the feeling of tenderness Levi was capable of. When Levi pulled back he wiped face to hide a few stray tears. Levi’s hands moved forward. He cupped Armin’s face, thumbs stroking his cheeks, “I need to make a phone call. Will you hold my apple?” He put his apple in Armin’s hand standing up and fumbling with his phone. Armin watched, blinking owlishly as he disappeared into a sea of people. Armin looked at the apple before taking a bite. He wouldn’t mind.

*********************

They had to take the car up to the second landing in order to take the lift and ski. This landing had an indoor arena with a skating rink and other activities and a snow gear store that provided everyone with their needs. Erwin and Levi sat in the back as Eren drove them up prattling away to Levi about this and that regardless if Levi spoke or not. Erwin had always found it refreshing that Eren knew when Levi was really listening or not. He didn’t get miffed like others from the lack of reactions either. He looked over to see Armin holding Eren’s hand and joining him in on a few stories about their times here in the past and how much fun they had had. He was glad that they were obviously getting back into the groove of their relationship and it seemed things were even better than when they first got to know both boys.

On the mountain platform where skiers met, they stood to the side donning their gear and snow clothes. Armin had wanted to get some thermal gloves but somehow that ended with Erwin following him inside and buying him a entire get up of plushy warm baby blue clothes that made him look like a baby shower marshmallow prop. He pulled his pants on, losing his balance and falling on the floor with a soft thud, the swish of the fabric increasing as he struggled to stand up. Eren laughed, “Arm, you look like the kid from a _Christmas Story_ right now. Like, oh my god. Tots adorbs.” Armin glared from the floor, “Shut up, asshole.” He hissed, “You’re the kid that wants the red rider Beebe gun TO THIS DAY.” Levi stepped behind Eren slamming a new puffy green jacket his arms, “Ha! He’d shoot his eye out. That is a dream that will never come true.” Eren pouted, “Leeeevvvviiii.” Levi glared locking his jaw and giving Eren a stern look, “No, now pick poofy shota delight up. If big daddy sees him he might think he’s hurt and he’ll freak out and I’m not dealing with a motherly Erwin right now.” 

Eren and Armin eventually made it to the main lift with their skis in tow even if they were also a bit bigger and louder with their new gear. Levi and Erwin were behind them talking lightly and discussing something that the boys didn’t even care about. Armin pulled his phone out looking at Eren with puppy dog eyes, “Wanna take a picture?” Eren rolled his eyes, “Uh duh.” “Which is your side?” “My side?” “Yeah your side side.” “Ohhh the left.” “Okay I’ll move over. Mine’s the right so this works out.” Armin held the phone up and in front of them snapping one and reviewing it, “We’re presh.” Eren looked at the photo, “So presh.” Armin put the phone back up, “Hold the side.” “Where’s the light?” “Here!” “I want one of those selfie lights.” “I knooooow but they’re so expensive.” “Worth it.” “Tots.” 

Erwin and Levi stood like statues listening and watching the conversation before them and the moving to “ _sides_ and talk of _selfie lights_. Erwin turned to Levi leaning on his shoulder, “What the fuck are they even talking about?” Levi dead panned, “Why ask me? I’m just a simple Jew.” Erwin snorted shaking his head side to side, “Sides?” Levi’s eyebrow raised a fraction, “Do they think one side of their face is better?” Erwin looked aghast as Eren and Armin each took pictures kissing each other’s cheeks and made peace signs around their faces, “That’s absurd. They’re faces are perfect. Both sides.” Levi rolled his eyes, turning his body to look Erwin up and down, snorting, “Really?” Erwin missed the sarcasm still staring at them now hugged up on one another, “They do look really hot there.” A dramatic sigh from both men as their lovers shared a chaste kiss, “I know. It’s not fair. We’re so old and un-hot compared to them. Remember when we were the Hottie Mc-hot Hots?” Erwin nodded, “Oh yes. Those were golden days.” 

Eren turned around, a playful glint in his eye that always made warmth form in Levi’s chest, “Time to go, y’all wanna race when we get to the top?” Levi smirked cockily, “Sure, what do we get when we win?” Eren grinned thinking to himself, “What do you want?” “You two.” Levi’s eyes were electric and predatory. Eren smiled even more, “Okay, well if we win you have to treat us to the Peddler.” 

Levi leaned on Erwin who stood straighter contemplating, “What is that?” He asked genuinely intrigued. Armin whirled around dramatically, stepping into a advertisement and tour guide mode, “The Peddler of Gatlinburg is only the most exclusive steakhouse in the state. With rare meats and divine cuts this is the ultimate culinary destination for those seeking a refined and decadent atmosphere. Don’t worry, no bourgeoisie riff raff or half peasants with new money are allowed in. Old money only.” Erwin smiled wickedly at Armin, “Okay, we’re in. I find it amusing you two would equate your body’s worth with that of another type of meat.” Armin winked, nose wrinkling, “We’re not ready for slaughter, Mr. Smith. If anything you two are the prey. You’re up against a warrior and a hunter.” Eren and Armin laughed diabolically as they sat to catch their buggy, pulling the metal strap down across them. Armin turned around to take a picture of them and then of Erwin and Levi as they were skirted off into the snowy landscape, tiny cat eared hat disappearing against the bright white landscape.

Levi had been assured by Armin that this lift was nice and not scary. It was on a level plane and didn’t shake like the other one. He sat, pulling the bar down quickly as Erwin ducked knowingly, “Calm down Lee. We’ve got to keep our head in the game.” Levi snorted looking down as they climbed steadily. It was true, he felt secure and didn’t notice the gradual incline, “We’re going to win, there’s no question.” Erwin laughed, “When Eren and I were on the other one he was telling me all about how he and Armin had been having so much fun. They really love this place. I had no idea they were such snowbunnies.” Levi smiled fondly, “I know, it’s kind of nice because I wouldn’t mind taking more trips to different places and you know I’m taking Eren to the Ukraine on our honeymoon slash summer vacation.”

Erwin pursed his lips making a face, “Why that face?” Erwin shrugged, “No, face.” Levi tsked, “It was a face, Erwin.” “I just didn’t think about y’all going to the Ukraine. I remembered France but not that one.” Levi gave him an incredulous look, “You were with me when I booked the tickets and the tour.” Erwin shrugged defensively, “I know but I forgot.” Levi still look suspicious, “Really?” “Yes?” “That’s not like you at all to forget. I was going to ask if you two would come with us. Europe will be a lot more fun this time without work.” Erwin chewed on the inside of his cheek. “We could also ask Mikasa and David.” Levi this time made a face, “What?”

Erwin huffed, “Oh, remember when Eren told you that-“ “Oh, oh, yes. That Mikasa was offered the opportunity to go in Ms. Kirschstein’s place on a cruise.” Erwin smiled, “Exactly. She’s there to network and do a short presentation to a few buyers but it’s mostly for fun and making friends in the industry.” Levi thought for a second, “Let me guess, she’s got a plus one?” Erwin chuckled, “Exactly.” Levi shook his head, “David wouldn’t do it.” “Why?” “He’d not intrude. He’ll see it as intruding if she asks normally. She’ll have to ask him to come as her escort.” “Why?” “It’s just the way he is. He won’t want her to think he’s going to get a free trip and corner her into sleeping with him.”

Erwin looked at Levi very confused until Levi shrugged rolling his eyes and waving his hand, “They still haven’t slept together, though, they have slept in the same bed a few times.” Erwin was a little floored, “When…are they going to?” Levi tsked, “I don’t know. He’s so slow but it’s not a bad thing if they’re happy. David is overcoming a lot of things in this area because he was raised longer in the faith and truthfully, he shouldn’t even be single at this age, not in the sect we were a part of. 20 is old maid for women and 22 is undesirable for a man. We used to raise hell in Israel and he had a few one night stands but….well, you know what happens when you sleep with someone who’s crazy. He’s seriously had the worst women ever take him home and yes, they took his ass home. He’s not going to dare risk brining them to his house and make them feel _unsafe._ ” Erwin grinned, his eyes shining, “True. David is my aspiration as a gentleman.” 

Levi removed his phone from his pocket, “I’ll text her and explain how she needs to ask. I’d really like them to get a move on about things because honestly they’re perfect for each other.” Erwin nodded, “Beschert.” A small huff of a laugh was almost lost in the sound of the gears of one of the many towers as they filed past, “Very good, Mr. Smith.” Erwin hissed, “Armin can call me that. You can’t.” Levi was shocked, he could always pretty much do whatever he wanted in regards to Erwin. To have a limitation put on him was new and challenging, “Why?” Erwin smirked and Levi suppressed a shudder, “Because he’s letting his mouth write a check I am going to cash for him and charge interest on.” Erwin looked absolutely pleased with whatever was going on in his head, “Well, if we lose because of your old ass then you and I will be left to our devices tonight so there’s something to look forward to.” Erwin’s face fell but not a lot, “Why are you so affectionate lately? Come, on. You’re like…a giant ball of love lately.” “Shut up, I’m not any different from normal.” “You are, Levi. You’re being so nice to me and I’ve seen the nice things you did all week for me too. Are you okay?” Levi shrugged, “I’m just happy.” “Really?” “Yeah, I’m going to re-marry Eren, I’m going to be at your wedding to Armin, we’re going to all be together. There’s this security in my life that I’ve never had. I’ve never felt settled or like I wasn’t going to have to run soon. I’m happy. I’ve accepted a lot of things and I’m happy. I don’t….I don’t think I’ve ever been happy, Erwin. I’m scared but…I like it.”

With that Erwin didn’t know what to say. That was true. He’d never known a truly completely happy Levi. He didn’t want to tease him or poke fun at that so he just took his hand to offer a physical sign of support, that’s all Levi really needed, and looked ahead, “I booked a venue for our wedding. I want to surprise Armin at dinner with it.” Levi smirked, “The place you showed me?” “Yep.” “When?” “I want to do it in August.” Levi whistled, “Wow, well….May 3rd is our wedding. We’re going to France for two weeks the day after to do some renovations and then the professionals will take over when we head to Ukraine. We’ll be there for two weeks. That brings us to the first week of June. In June we can all go back to France for a bit, y’all can travel and we can meet you two. If you returned to the US in July I guess it’s possible to start putting the finishing details on everything. But, that’s really cutting it close. Five months was intense but we’re throwing it at the house and Mikasa and Ms. Kirschstein are very capable people.”

Erwin gripped the metal bar before tapping his hands on it, “I know, but, money is a big helper. I’ve booked it for August 31st and that’s the Labor day weekend so everyone should be able to come. I’ve also blocked the hotel for guests, though it’ll be modest in guests, at least on my side. I just need Armin to tell me everything he’s ever wanted or planned and BAM we’ve got a wedding. I can pay a director or have Ms. Kirschstein and Mrs. Jaeger help.” 

“You know something Erwin…” “Mrs. Jaeger is sick isn’t she?” “How did you guess?” “Armin wears that necklace now constantly and so does Eren. He was very emotional when we got home from the birthday party and I put him in a bubble bath and he just kept telling me these stories of Carla and what she means to him. She means much more than words and I never knew and then it hit me that she’s like his mother and he feels like he’s losing her and why could that be? She must be sick.” Levi blinked pulling his goggles up to rub his eyes, “You’re a smart man.” Erwin leaned over bumping their heads, “I like to think so but I often disprove that by saying very un-smart things to Armin.” “Like his get out of jail list? I keep a tight lid on it for Eren. You can’t help it.” “Thank you Levi, I know I-“ “You’re just so weak in comparison to me. You’re like a sensitive flower that wilts if you don’t get enough sun.” “I should have known you couldn’t just give me a compliment.” They saw Eren and Armin drop off and prepared to do the same. They would win this race. Those tantalizing nymphs would be theirs.

**************

"So, what are you wearing tonight?" Eren asked innocently to Armin. "Oh, something fabulous. I mean, it's not every day you go to the Peddler." Eren covered his mouth suppressing giggles, "True. Hey, are those heels?" Eren admired the very piece of footwear he always drooled over and was amazed that people like Mikasa could wear for hours and hours because his feet became giant red screaming mushy triangles when he wore them for more than an hour or two. "I wear what I want.” Armin mutter a bit self-consciously. He like wearing things that weren’t strictly masculine but he knew that upset some people. Even Hanji who was gender-neutral dressed mostly in sexless uniforms or feminine articles. Something that wouldn’t bother people if they saw them. They didn’t bind there chest all the time especially now after having Mila since they had breastfed for the first six months. Still, it wasn’t a safe thing, wearing gender pushing clothing in the daylight and not on safe holidays like Halloween or for parties. Armin had spoke with Erwin about it and he wondered if Eren had any certain thoughts, “Does that bother you?" 

"No, I like them. I can't get away with the androgynous look like you. So unfair." “So, if I were to dress like this more often….you wouldn’t care?” “No, I mean, do you boo. I think you look pretty hot when you dress like a girl and growing up I noticed that you seemed to do it more and more on Halloween and you always seemed happy. So, why would I dislike that? A happy Armin is a happy Eren.” Eren turned to find a shirt before pausing, “Are you having like….gender identity issues?” “No, no, no, it’s not like that. I just really like dresses and heels and cross dressing makes me feel good. I don’t want to live as a woman or be a woman and I’m not a woman umm….I feel like I’ve broken a lot of PC rules with my statements. I just guess I’ve been afraid to do wear what I want because of you know….my family.” “Arm, we’re your family and no one cares as long as your happy and yeah, we probably just had a really un-PC talk but I mean….we didn’t mean to be insensitive. Maybe we should look up the proper language online later now that I’m really curious.” Eren hummed looking at his phone, “Might text Hanji.” 

Armin grinned, "I like to live life to the fullest. I also kind of want to be Iggy Pop." Eren pulled on his pants, "Well, you do kind of have that vibe. And David Bowie may his memory be a blessing." "Oh don't remind me. I'll weep and ruin my face." “You’re not wearing makeup?!” “Doesn’t matter. This is perfection.” Armin made a sweeping gesture of his face. "How do you think our men are doing?" "Probably freaking out trying to threaten and bribe people. They're super upset that they lost. We need to really make them suffer." "My, my, Eren. Looks like you're coming around to my side. Sadism is very satisfying. Just as satisfying as submission." Armin's eyes burned and Eren flushed, "Goddamn Armin. You've really blossomed lately."Armin pursed his lips, contemplating, "Really" Eren smiled, "Yeah, you must be feeling better." Armin’s hands pulled an outfit he’d been dying to wear out. Eren whistled, “If you’re wearing that then I’m going to have to change to match. You can be my date. But do you? Do you feel better?” Armin held the article up to his chest, "I do actually. I'm actually really happy."

************************

Levi pulled on his [clothes](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/1a/1b/f2/1a1bf2802ea2220a62b56e80711a36cf.jpg) as Erwin shaved in front of the sink, “So, you think that Hanji will be able to take the samples of your blood and David’s and see if they re-act to the serum and if it is administered to a monkey with cancer if it will heal the sick cells that are replicating too quickly?” Levi stepped behind him slapping his ass, “Exactly.” He reached around pushing up against Erwin as he grabbed his toothbrush and paste. He started brushing his teeth as Erwin smirked, “A little frisky are we?” Levi smirked around his toothbrush. “I bet that’s because you slayed everyone at the Peddler that tried to prevent you from making a reservation.” Levi leaned over to spit and wash his brush before it returned to his mouth. 

Erwin had called and when his charms weren’t enough he put their resident gangster on the phone. It ended on the balcony while he showered. Erwin knew he’d been victorious because when he emerged Levi was practically radiating pomp and power nude in the middle of the room unfolding his clothes and chuckling darkly to himself, “They’re expecting us,” is all he said as Erwin started to open his shaving kit Armin got him when he was with Mikasa at a show. Erwin turned around wiping his face off quickly before grasping Levi’s shoulder, “I love you.” Levi blinked. “Aren’t you going to say it back?” “No.” “Why?” “Because you want me to.” He maneuvered away to their bed where he started to Lysol the sheets. “Are you serious?” “This place is beyond filthy. I can’t even believe I’m staying here.” “Well, you do want to be close to our boys.” Levi stilled, before saying lowly, “Mmm yes.”

Erwin put his [clothes](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/06/ef/51/06ef5189dec5ba556809a6a3c200139a.jpg) on checking himself in the mirror as Levi tied his shoes. “We should knock to see if they’re ready, right?” Erwin mused as Levi looked at the door intently like it offended him, “I can’t believe that they locked it.” “They’re making us suffer.” “It’s working.” Erwin walked over knocking only for Eren to tell them to come to the front. It was rude for them to come to their dates bedroom door like uncouth heathens. Erwin actually thought that was pretty funny while Levi simply sulked more. “Brats.” He hissed while walking to the door, “Come on.”

Erwin pushed Levi to the side knocking on the door first. “Seriously?” “I’m excited.” “Pathetic is the word that came to mind.” “I wanna see my baby.” “I want to see my husband but you don’t see me acting like a child.” “I don’t care. If acting like a child gets me where I need to be then so be it.” “Ruthless.” The door opened to Eren who was [dressed](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/49/cf/21/49cf21b86a6b4c5ef215c3958f26ef23.jpg) very well. Levi held his breath for a second, “Not bad, brat.” Eren smiled, pleased by the compliment, “This is what happens when you let Mikasa pack part of your bag for you. Wait till you see Armin. He’s the real show stealer. I just tried to reach his level so I’d be a worthy date.” Erwin frowned slightly, mumbling childishly, “I’m his date.” Eren shook his head smirking, “Nope. Remember, you two weren’t supposed to be here. You didn’t follow the rules.”

Armin walked forward, hair down and beautiful. He’d had his bangs trimmed a bit and the sides layered, something Eren had been dying to try for some time. Honestly, Eren loved cutting hair and Armin had told him to go take a few classes or something but he said it was a secret hobby and a secret it would stay. When Armin looked up he felt like running back inside. Everyone was staring at him and Eren was grinning like a fool. Levi’s face was unreadable and Erwin’s was so flabbergasted that he didn’t know whether to feel flattered or ashamed that he’d upset or provoked that type of emotion from his future husband. “Um, maybe I should change because you’re all staring and it’s making me feel like I must look horrible. So…um…yeah…” Eren snaked his arm over and around Armin’s petite waist, “You look beautiful.” Eren handed Armin his gloves pulling him out on the walkway into the last rays of sunlight. 

Once outside Erwin and Levi took a step back to look him up and down. “Honestly, I don’t think I would have known you, baby.” Armin smiled shyly, “Really?” “No, no, I would always know you it’s just so pretty and strange. It’s like…I’ve never been attracted to things like this….this strongly. You look so beautiful.” [Armin](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/56/f7/2f/56f72ff686dc3130f79ffa38d5b2d4e2.jpg) stood shyly leaning against Eren who still grinned like a fool. Levi tore himself away, his cheeks threatened to betray him, “Let’s go. We’re all dressed to kill and I want to see what all the fuss is about this place. Do they have anything kosher?” Eren snorted, “It’s the south. Nothing is kosher, Neshama.”

Levi and Erwin headed down to the car when Levi got a phone call. He fell into French seamlessly and thought most in the car could understand bits and pieces most was way over anyone’s head and thus, easily ignorable as Eren and Armin chatted with Erwin about more things and places that held symbolism in this city to them. It turned out that the Jaegers and Ms. Kirschstein vacationed here every year and often let their children come up over the year alone to camp and have fun as they got older. Erwin watched as Armin’s hair moved against his shoulders. It had gotten so long, he’d hardly noticed since he wore it in a pony tail most of the time. It was golden silk like Idunna’s apples and Brunhild’s straw. *********************** 

Inside the Peddler Erwin and Levi admitted that this was certainly worth the hype. They ordered drinks and sat reading the menu. Eren sat next to Armin who was across from Erwin. Levi reached over taking Eren’s hand and giving it a squeeze. “I got a call in the car.” Eren looked up, viridian eyes wide, “Yes?” “About something important.” Eren sighed, “I don’t really like it when you lead like that. It gives me Shin Bet flashbacks and I’m kind of enjoying our break from terrorist cell destruction.” “It’s about something Armin said. Something I’d never thought of and he reminded me of and well, Eren, I called Hanji and-” “Levi you never get like this please just take a second and tell me in your regular monotone voice that just sort of….drops heavy reality down and blows shit out of the water.” Eren chuckled nervously, “Armin asked me while y’all were on the lift about the Y chromosome that the Tribe Levi and Cohen family have. It’s a mutation. He suggested that it is the reason the serum didn’t affect my leg. He then suggested that it might be able to create a mutation in the blood of O negative individuals. I’m AB positive but David is AB negative. We’re both from the same tribe and have that mutation. Erwin is, oddly enough, AB negative. I’m hoping that Erwin’s negative and David’s like each other and couple well.”

Armin removed his jacket, an amused smile on his face as he looked at them both, “AB? Three people in the same group with AB blood type? Damn! Blood of the alien godssss!” He joked catching Levi off guard who shocking Eren smiled a true smile before covering his face, “Please keep your internet spook theories to yourself and not derail real science. It is rare, less than .06% of the population but obviously something led us all here together and maybe this is the reason.” Armin snickered noting that neither Erwin nor Levi could still hold eye contact with him. He felt a bit unsure of himself because of it so he leaned on Eren’s shoulder again looking through the fringe of his lashes and bangs.

Erwin reached over grabbing a roll and started buttering it until it was coated in thick waves. He was clearly trying to pretend he wasn’t looking. Erwin Smith was not looking at the [small shoulders](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/fe/b0/b3/feb0b3d4a95cffbc2863c82c4b8b8b4e.jpg) clad in beige he wanted to smooth his hands over. He wasn’t staring at the [necklace](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/e6/2b/17/e62b178139a1e4a04909f905dda1dfbc.jpg) that rested on his clavicles that was once his mother’s. No, it didn’t stroke his ego that this divine beauty before him wore his family’s treasures carrying on a Smith legacy into a new age with a grace and sensuality he’d never imagined. No, he wasn’t hard at the thought of what might be under that skin hugging dress that nimble fingers perfectly manicured had pulled on and fastened with care, certainty not Erwin Smith, he was above that.

”Daddy,” _Oh fuck, that sounds so good._ “Daddy?” _Shit, what is even my real name? It must be daddy because god it wouldn’t sound so good. Shit, he’s looking at me. He said something. What did he say?_ “I think that bread has enough butter on it. Here, take my piece. That might kill you or raise your cholesterol.” Erwin felt those little fingertips brush across his hand, softly, not lingering enough for him to create a memory and file it away in the back when he needed something late at night to lull him to sleep, “Oh. Umm, thank you.” Armin smiled laying the destroyed piece of bread on his plate, “Any time, Mr. Smith.” He winked and Erwin nearly groaned. He struggled to regain control of the situation, “Levi was saying something.” Levi’s heavy voice slammed him back down into the gutter, “I’m done, shit head.” Erwin sighed internally, _shit._ “Of course you are….I knew that.” Levi rolled his eyes, “Pathetic.”

The waiter came to take their orders and Levi spoke on behalf of the table. Eren leaned over blowing in Armin’s ear who swatted at him playfully, “Stop messin’ with me.” Armin whined but Eren knew it was more of a challenge. Erwin cleared his throat, “I would like to hear what you were saying.” Levi turned to him, “Hanji is in the lab right now and is using mine and David’s blood in a few tests. They’ve been very positive, almost miraculously. In fact, David’s blood has coupled with yours and when it was introduced into a test subject it had positive results. This method Hanji and I have loosely developed might help ease people into it process and only provide a temporary healing window. I’m not sure if we cut you or hurt you if you’d be like Marco and Eren and heal again and I haven’t wanted to try. Right now…we’re looking at getting something we can administer in doses to Carla almost like….I hate to say it.” 

Erwin flashed a wicked smile, “Like Rabies?” Levi had had to have the rounds of shots in his stomach for almost six months. Something he did not like to remember and Erwin loved to remind him of, “Yes, but hopefully it’ll be injections in the butt and not the stomach.” It was thrilling, “SOOO what you’re telling me is that you, with the help of my precious baby, just cured cancer?” Levi shied away from him, “Let’s just say, I’m very hopeful that we can save Carla Jaeger.” Erwin smirked, “You cured cancer.” “I did nothing.” “You did. You did something.” “It was nothing. Thank my people, not me.” Eren leaned over kissing him, “You’re my Moses and I love you.” Levi smiled into the kiss, “You gunna show me that love tonight?” “Nope. I’m going home with this pretty thing.” Armin giggled leaning his head on his shoulder, “We should check in here and then Instagram us smiling and them frowning. David will tots like it.”

Levi looked perplexed, “David Lavie is on that site with you?” Eren quirked an eyebrow up, “Yeah, David’s cool. He also follows us on tumblr and we follow him.” Erwin and Levi were lost again with these tumbles and gramcrakers and whatever else kids these days were up to, “Um tumbler is a?” “Blog. We run a blog together and David has a blog and he’s a role-player.” “A what?” “He role plays with other people on the site as different anime characters.” “I do not understand a thing you are telling me.” “He pretends to be a character from a well know series, mostly anime, and he chats with others who are also playing a character and they come up with story lines and stuff. It’s so simple, how are you not getting this?” Eren huffed as Levi gave him a very sarcastic roll of the eyes and threw his hands up in a surrender manner.

Erwin probed further, “What else does he do?” Eren was more than happy to continue, “He does cosplay, like, he is the KING of cosplay. He’s internet famous for his Koutarou Amon cosplay from the series Tokyo Ghoul. Look! They’re basically the same person.” Levi leaned forward to look at Eren’s phone. He was shocked at what he saw, “They look like the same person.” Eren’s face lit up, “He’s literally Amon in the flesh, right? This looks like a cartoon that someone made of David.” Armin joined in, “People ask what makeup he uses to make the face shape, eyes, cheekbones, and everything and he’s like,” Armin started to impersonate David’s serious voice which was close to Levi’s own monotone one, ““I do not use makeup for this character” all David like and serious and junk and then he attaches selfies as proof because people as for them. People LOSE their mind because he’s basically a God and we are all unworthy to look upon him.” Erwin frowned, “You sound infatuated.” Armin quipped back, “Because that I am.” Erwin look positively wounded, “Baby!” Armin shrugged, “It’s not my fault he’s Amon and King David in one body. Eren’s got a crush on him, too.” Eren cringed, “Armin!” “What’s that? Brat has a crush on another man?” “It’s lies, LIES I TELL YOU!” “EREN?!” “Have you seen David shirtless? It’s really difficult not to get a crush on him. He’s like….a guy in Beat magazine that I’d cut out and put in my locker.”

The couples ate, talked more, and then as dessert came they all started to drift to more pressing topics like vacations and the wedding. Erwin cleared his throat and Armin smiled coyly, playing up his southern accent to sound more like Scarlett O’Hara,“Daddy’s gunna lay something on us.” “On you, sweet pea.” “Oh, well, however shall I survive this torment I feel from anticipation?” “Baby, you wanna marry me?” “Why, yes sir, I surely do.” “You wanna marry me this year?” “Why I surely do. Even if the wheat is high and the June bugs are flyin’ round.” “You wanna marry me when it’s hot?” “As long as you bring me my church fan and the flames of the devil’s pits from below God’s green earth don’t threaten to make me feint I surely do.” “You want to get married on August 31st at the Manor?” Armin’s reply died in his throat as his breath hitched, “You-you didn’t?” “I did.” “Are you serious, Erwin?” “I am. Can you tell me your hopes and dreams for that day quickly so that we can arrange everything? Money’s not a problem. Whatever you want, baby. I’ll move heaven and earth.” 

Armin was stunned and sat like a statue looking at Erwin with his mouth open. Eren on the other hand was rocking back and forth covering the lower half of his face with a napkin to keep from screeching in glee. “Erwin, I can tell you everything but I want to ask you something.” “Anything.” “Can I wear a dress if I want?” Erwin’s breath hitched, that wasn’t what he was expecting. He didn’t hesitate to answer, “You can wear pool noodles.” Silence greeted his awkward reply, ”I mean I don’t give a damn as long as you marry me.” Armin smiled, “I’ll send my wedding file over to your email.” Levi smirked, “Well, I shouldn’t have expected less from Erwin junior to have it all worked out.” Erwin grinned like a fool, “Baby, let’s celebrate tonight.” Armin reached over taking his hand and flashing him a breath taking smile, “Awwww it’s so cute you think that will work. You two lost. These were the terms. I’m sleeping with Eren, in our room, in our bed, without either of you.” Levi and Erwin cursed everything and prayed to every God they could think of that they would change their minds.

Back at the lodge, the doors were shut to the rooms and Levi and Erwin were left alone with only themselves to cuddle with. “Heartless.” “Cruel.” “Evil.” “Sadistic.” “It’s makes me want them more.” “Exactly.” “We’re pathetic.” “True.” “Wanna watch a movie.” “Sure.” “Oh we only get three channels.” “Fuck this place. This is torture.” “We can watch their videos?” “Yeeessss.”

*******************

The next few days were full of memories. Levi and Eren got into a fight about Eren’s need to go off trails while in the forest. Erwin begged for Armin to dress like he had the night of the Peddler again, which he denied him making his begging all the more sweet. They eventually reconciled as Armin relented and wore a similar [outfit](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/fd/11/bc/fd11bc73a40e25253a2fdd6f6364e023.jpg) to a bar where they entered a trivia contest and won $2000 dollars for taking down the local champ. Levi had gotten piss drunk, dancing on a bar top while Eren grinded next to him singing songs from Coyote Ugly. Arrested for public intoxication and one count of underage drinking they spent a few hours in jail and were released upon excellent negotiations on behalf of an also intoxicated Lawyer Smith who’s _wife_ flirted with a clerk to have the charges stricken from their records. 

Their nights went well except for odd occurrences in Eren and Armin’s room. They were finally sleeping at night in the room and now they felt like it was almost a bit oppressive sometimes or sinister. Tonight it was the worst. They were leaving tomorrow and had decided to retire somewhat early since the drive might be difficult with other visitors leaving the city and then a weather warning for storms and ice.

Armin opened his eyes looking at Eren who was still asleep. He noticed the TV was on so he got up and turned it off. He must have just thought they turned it off. He closed his eyes and started to drift away. Eren moved closer, his hands searching under the covers for Armin, his nose searching on the pillow as he nuzzled. Armin moved closer till Eren settled. He knew he was afraid of the dark and could only sleep in it when someone was with him. Even then, that was rare. He felt heavy and then suddenly he heard the _pop_ of the TV turn on. Armin’s eyes opened, _Okay, that’s fucking annoying._ He stood up, walked to the TV and turned it off. 

A few minutes passed and Eren became restless tossing and turning. The TV popped back on. Armin was convinced that Eren was on the remote, thus making him uncomfortable and turning the TV on when he shifted. He hit Eren’s arm waking him, “What!?” Eren was sleepy and waking him suddenly had spooked him, “What?” “You might be on the remote. The TV keeps popping on and I think you need to move to look for it.” Eren was so confused, “I’m not on the remote.” “Ummm well I’m not callin’ you a liar but I ain’t callin’ you a truther either.” “Armin, the remote is next to the TV.” “What?” “Yeah, look.” Eren got off the bed walking to the TV and picking up the remote next to it, “I put it here.” “EREN, UNPLUG THAT FUCKING TV THAT’S SO CREEPY.” 

Eren unplugged the TV snickering, “Whatever Armin. It’s just the wiring in these places.” He laid back down, his body immediately pressed against Armin’s as Armin whimpered, “I’m kind of glad to be leaving this room tomorrow. It’s kind of creepy.” Eren wrapped his arms around him, lips finding Armin’s and moving soothingly. He pulled away running a hand through Armin’s hair lovingly, “Yeah, well, I’ll be sad to not have you all to myself.” “Shut up, we’re heading back to the house where you’ll see me every day.” “This was so good for us.” “This was so good for us.” Armin kissed Eren further until they were heavy with sleep again.

Armin wasn’t sure when but soon the TV popped back on and the static was louder and the screen brighter. He jumped waking Eren who looked around wildly until he realized what was going on. Both boys fell over themselves heading to the door that led into Erwin and Levi’s room. They nearly knocked the door down yelling as the ran to the bed, “Levi!” “ERWIN!” 

Levi and Erwin slammed into their old routine. They were up, awake, alert, and gripping their lovers, “What?!” Levi’s voice pierced through the hysterical ramblings, “It turned on!” “It’s on!” “TV!” “WE UNPLUGGED IT!” Erwin carefully and sternly put Armin in his place on the bed as Levi did the same. Levi and Erwin went into the bedroom turning off the TV. Levi walked back in to their room, “BRATS IT’S JUST A FUCKING TV CALM DOWN.” “HOW DID YOU TURN IT OFF?” “I PRESSED THE BUTTON EREN!” “LEVI, WE UNPLUGGED IT!” “OBVIOUSLY NOT.” Erwin was still missing. Levi turned around, “Eineiym sheli?” He walked into the boys room to see Erwin holding the cord, “Levi this cord isn’t even functional. Look, it’s been chewed through by rats or an animal. It wasn’t plugged up either.” Levi looked at the cord taking it in his hands, “Hmm,” he studied it more. Erwin moved by him.“It feels heavy in here,” Erwin remarked looking around. “Levi, this is weird.” Levi turned around, “It’s probably because their heater is on higher than ours. I felt like it was a lot warmer in here when we stepped in.” Just then the TV popped back on while Levi was holding the cord. 

Erwin jumped gritting his teeth, “HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! DEMON SPIRIT TELEVISION BE GONE WITH THEE! I COMMAND THEE IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY I CAST THEE OUT SANCTOS MARIA ESPIRITOS SOMETHING ELSE IN LATIN! HOLY WATER, HOLY WATER, HOLY WATER! WHERE ARE THE CATHOLICS AT?! MY GOD WHERE????!!!!!!!!!” Levi dropped the cord like he was burned taking the cart rails and pushing it towards the back door where the balcony was. He opened the door taking the TV outside where he picked the heavy portable tube TV up and tossed it into the river that ran behind the lodge.

When Levi came back in he wiped his brow, “Us Jews, we don’t believe in spirits. I blame this on you goys with all your exorcism talk and spirit this spirit that holdin’ your hands up like you can feel them and all that shit, that shit right there, is what lets fucked up shit like this happen you put that energy out there in to the universe like science tells us matter can neither be created nor destroyed so that’s some you puttin’ matter spirit shit that has come and landed in that TV I can’t Erwin. I cannot handle what just happened.” Armin and Eren peaked inside, “Is it safe?” Both men jumped, playing it off like it wasn’t just this traumatic experience,“Yeah just….just get some sleep and leave this door open.” Levi and Erwin walked towards them kissing them goodnight before Armin and Eren gingerly walked back in to their room and laid down again. Eren’s nightlight was taken out of the bathroom and put into the room. “Do you mind Arm?” “No, put a few more around. I don’t give a shit.” He punctuated each word nuzzling closer into Eren’s chest. “I love you Arm.” “I love you, Eren.” “We’re never staying here again.” “TOTS.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cough cough* So, let me just say the TV incident actually happened to me and an ex of mine. I honestly had other things happen on that trip that just to even remember makes my skin crawl and while we didn't throw the TV in the river we did wheel it outside on the balcony and barely slept. It was the creepiest thing and they were very much like Eren, "Oh it's no big deal hahahahah" and I was like "Cast that demon out into the abyss!"


	59. Black Chemo

”What is that smell?” Armin’s nose twitched as he moved in the sheets of the bed twisting around to notice that a tray sat near him with brunch on it. Erwin had left a note, “Eat up, baby.” Armin smiled stretching. Today they were going up to see Dr. Jaeger and Mrs. Jaeger to surprise them. Armin poked at the yellow center of the eggs Benedict on the plate and took one of the ripe strawberries between his finger placing it between his lips, sucking the sweet juice off the outer skin. How amazing these few days at home had been since Gatlinburg. He hoped it would stay this way. Erwin walked inside the room. He was wearing his typical pjs when it was cold or he was sleeping alone. Armin had been very withholding lately and the nights were long and cold as Armin worked in shifts with Levi aiding him and Eren in their research. Erwin took up the opposite shift and thus he was just finishing up and had decided to surprise Armin with breakfast in bed. A little ass kissing never hurt when it came to Armin, “You’re up, my beautiful ray of sunshine.” Armin snorted biting the strawberry and chewing it, “You really must want sex.” Erwin laughed shrugging and rolling his eyes, “Well, yeah.” Armin snorted again, “Ridiculous. For that, no.” “Baaaby, we’ve got time.” 

Armin sat up eating his eggs, “Nope. You’re on restriction.” Erwin walked towards the bed watching Armin finish his eggs. His lips tempting him. Erwin felt himself become bold in hopes of seducing his fiancé. “Mmm restriction. Is that what this is?” Armin gave him a suspicious and coy side glance, “It is.” Erwin smiled slyly, “Why am I now being restricted?” Armin shrugged, “Because.” “Because why?” He watched that little blond pony tail whip to the side as he looked at him head on, “Because I said so and you know it’ll make you so much more turned on the longer we play.” Erwin’s eyes narrowed, “Touché. How long?” “A week.” “ARMIN!” “Two weeks at the max.” “But! But! But, it’s been two weeks and 4 days already! We’re almost done with April! I didn’t sleep with you at all in Gatlinburg, baby! And now we’ve been back working and, and, and!” Erwin was a blubbering mess. Armin was unmoved, “Do you think you whining is going to make me change my mind?” Erwin walked over to the edge of the bed, crawling on and over to Armin. He cooed trying to give him his most dashing smirk and beautiful eyes, “No, baby. Please. Let me change your mind.” He purred the last words. Armin shook his head, “No.” _Petulant and childish….oh how I love you, Armin._

Erwin’s hands found Armin’s slim waist pulling him closer and pulling his shirt up exposing his stomach little by little. Erwin kissed his neck pushing Armin back down and under him as he tenderly and passionately made his case against the soft skin. Armin kept eating, picking his sandwich up and taking large satisfying bites. “Baby,” Erwin’s voice was rich and dark, “can I change your mind?” Armin made a small noise that sounded very non-committal, “Nn.” Erwin stilled, “Baby, are you eating?” Armin shook his head, “Mhm.” “While I’m seducing you?” Erwin deadpanned as Armin finished his bite, “Was this you seducing me? I saw it as more of trying to waste my time.” Erwin pulled back as Armin deliberately wiped his fingers on the front Erwin’s shirt before popping another strawberry into his mouth. He looked bored and a bit haughty. Erwin wanted to be mad, he wanted to be miffed even, he wanted to punish Armin, but he was extremely pleased at Armin’s denial of him and thus gave in to his sick wants. 

He sighed, “Armin, well, I’m sorry.” “You should be.” “I’ll go dress.” “You do that.” Erwin crawled off the bed walking towards the bathroom, “Erwin?” Armin’s voice was bright and playful. He stopped turning on his heels smiling, _yes!_ “My wonderful prince?” “Be sure to take your place as my bench at the vanity before you clothe yourself.” Erwin shuddered. He was in for a fun week.

*******************

Eren and Levi sat upfront as Armin and Erwin sat in the back bantering or well, playing as Eren became well aware of since Armin’s put downs were particularly focused on Erwin’s ego and they all ate away at his confidence that Armin or anyone for that matter liked him. Armin barely paid attention to his attempts at real conversation and responded to praise with criticism. Levi’s lips twitched as he listened. He wanted to lay Armin across his lap for the things he said, pull his pants down and-, “Eren?” Eren turned, hearing the affected tone of Levi’s voice, “Yes?” He grinned raising an eyebrow, “You might need to play with me one night like Armin does with Erwin. I’m curious to see what happens.” Eren’s skin became flushed and goose bumps rose, “Oh, Captain, it would be my pleasure to play with you.” Erwin took Armin’s hand while Eren and Levi stared at one another slyly from the side, “Would you like to go somewhere special after this week? A dinner or show, my golden Achilles?” Armin didn’t turn to face him or answer his question.

He instead turned to look at Levi in the mirror, “Levka?” Levi looked up, raising an eyebrow for him to continue. He never really called him Levka, it was almost always Velvel when he chose a name other than Levi. This intrigued Levi. “So, you know the 27th you’ll be separated from Eren and us since it’s your wedding week and I was thinking that you and me could do something.” Levi pursed his lips, “What?” Armin smiled, “I,” he paused for dramatic effect, “did some investigating and I know you’re going to be a bit sad without our beloved Eren so how about we go to Montgomery to see TOOL perform live, hit up the new hookah bar that has that special tobacco they grow in Israel you like, and just ease the stress for wedding planning and loneliness for a night? Erwin will keep Eren company and they already have something planned just the two of them so I’m sure they want mind.” He flashed a wicked smile that said, “they better not fucking care” more than anything else.

Levi pulled the car over on the side of the highway. Erwin and Eren’s eyes wide with terror because they had no idea what would have caused him to do such and it must be pretty bad because Levi was a calm person but maybe this was the day he snapped and Armin had awoke the beast, “You,” his voice boomed, Eren jumped as Erwin looked at him in the mirror, eyes wide as they both shared a look referencing a conversation they’d had while together about how this was their ultimate fear, a crazed Levi, “got TOOL tickets?” Armin smiled, “I did and they are really good seats.” “How good?” “Floor, center, row 3.” “You….you know…..you…I…” Levi stuttered and stumbled over his words before simply nodding gripping and un-gripping the steering wheel. Erwin and Eren sighed a breath of relief looking at one another. _Crisis averted, we live another day._ “I think you….you broke Levi.” Erwin was in shock and Eren was at a loss, “You like TOOL? Jean listens to them and Armin loves them.” Levi pulled back on the highway, “TOOL is my favorite band. Armin, I would be honored to go with you and do that. Thank you. I was going to be very sad but now…well…I might not be sad at all.” Eren gasped, “Levi!”

**************

Grisha Jaeger leaned back in his seat in his office. Eren had called him and asked if he and his mother could meet him at the hospital. Levi wanted to talk to him about something and then they could do lunch with Armin and Erwin. He had told him that would be fine but with Carla feeling so bad today he didn’t think he made the right choice, “Stop,” her sweet voice commanded, “Stop thinking about how I’m feeling. I know you are.” Grisha smiled, “You always know.” “That’s right. I’m a mother and you’re basically my oldest child.” She laughed and he couldn’t help himself but join in. “I wonder what Levi wanted to discuss at the hospital?” “Has he accepted your offer yet?” “To run the hospital?” “Yes, what other offers have you made. Jesus Grisha.” Grisha moved over to her side. She was laying on the chaise lounge fanning herself with the newspaper, cold compress on her forehead, “How are you feeling? Really?” 

Carla opened her green eyes, a small annoyed smirk at the corner of her lips, “Grisha, I’m nauseous, it’s nothing. It could be anything other than the cancer.” He felt like she’d hit him in the gut. His face flashed with terror, “Shushh don’t say cancer.” Carla slammed the paper down exasperated by him, “CANCER GRISHA,” he voice boomed and compounded the meaning, “cancer. That’s what it’s called. Plus, we’ll hear Eren waaaay before we see him. So, don’t worry about him sneaking up on us while talking about CANCER.” Grisha gritted his teeth but after taking a moment he simply sagged, “True but-“ A loud laugh filled the hallway, “He’s here,” both parents said at the same time. A knock was heard on the office door and Grisha moved to open it.

Dr. Jaeger’s office was spacious and a little messy. Eren got most of his habits when it came to science and research from his father, something his mother always shook her head at. Despite the office being large enough to accommodate eight people comfortably it was soon filled with a large group of loud and excited individuals. 

Eren was the first followed by Levi who was pulling the ear of Dr. Zoe. Armin and Erwin came inside smiling and slapping at one another while Marco laughed loudly tripping inside over the kick plate and Jean and his mother followed in explaining something with large gesticulations for Giovanni Bodt. Mikasa and David finished off the herd politely watching the others and holding hands, the first outward sign of affection Grisha had seen and it made him remind himself to later take David aside and have a talk with him. He didn’t look like a boy who was looking to fuck around and thus, he was a real threat to taking his daughter away from him. He was losing a son, how could he lose her? Even if it was just a symbolic losing.

Eren approached Carla taking her hands, ”Momma, we have something really exciting to tell you.” Levi and Hanji went quit, standing up straighter and turning into doctors since their fight began in the parking lot as Hanji informed Levi they had decided to have Mila’s first haircut scheduled after the wedding and Levi seemed to be very offended he was not consulted in the matter. Eren was trying to not take sides. “Mrs. Carla! Levi and I have been working on a lot of things and well, we think we have just come up with something that will change your life forever!” Levi rolled his eyes at Hanji’s bubbly introduction, “Mrs. Jaeger,” he began, “Carla!” She gave him an exasperated look causing Grisha to lower his face trying to hide the smirk that appeared. Carla chastising someone else other than him always amused him. He paused, “Carla,” the name felt heavy, “we know you have cancer.” 

Just then a loud yelp pierced the moment, “MOOOOMMMAAAA!” “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOUR BIG ASS MOUTH WENT AND TOLD!” Ms. Kirschstein hissed pulling on Jean’s ear and dragging him down to her level. His eyes were closed in pain, face scrunched up and red, “MOMMA I DIDN’T TELL!” Her eyes burned with fire, French accent thicker and more menacing, Eren especially knew the threat that accent promised, “LIAR! I BET YOU TOLD ARMIN!” She screeched, “HONESTLY! He looks at you, one look, one is all it takes Jean, and you just break! You’re so fucking weeeeaaaak.” Jean reeled back, “MOMMA THAT HURTS MY FEELINGS!” She wasn’t moved, “WEEAAAAK!”

Eren jumped to his defense, “No, Ms. Kirschstein I figured it out because of the key.” She stopped glaring at Jean and released him. A tense moment passed as she straightened her skirt, “Oh, oh, well. Can’t blame me for thinking what I thought so….” Jean rubbed his ear, “Mom, that hurt so bad.” She threw her hands up, “Oh I love you come here mon petite Jean.” Levi returned to Carla, “I don’t really like wasting time. We made a vaccine of sorts that if administered in six rounds should fix the damage done and maybe even heal you.” Hanji leaned over his shoulder, eyes bright with promise, “It’s going to heal you. I’ve ran it on so many sick animals and even few willing volunteers and it’s going to work.” Levi jumped, “You did what, four eyes?” Hanji merely shrugged, “I met some people and they let me do it. It healed them around the third injection and restored the damaged areas at the six-“ “We could literally be sued, Hanji. I can’t believe you.” “I did it for science!” “Shut up.”

Dr. Jaeger and Carla seemed shocked and confused. “I don’t understand. There’s no way you could have done something like that in what? Two weeks?” Hanji grinned wildly, “Uh hu, because Levi and David have special blood.” Hanji proceeded to tell Dr. Jaeger about the mutation and how that would replicate in Carla’s system over the course of these six weeks and how it wouldn’t linger in her system like it did Eren, Marco, and potentially Erwin, for it seemed that Erwin had indeed been affected by the serum but what extent was still up for debate. “Just let us try, mom.” Eren pleaded and Carla reluctantly relented. It was cruel to let him hope though.

*********************

Carla felt feint, sick, and tired all the same time. But, oddly enough she wasn’t cold like she had been. That type of cold that comes with decay and death. Like an old house that was once loved but then left uninhabited for a while, the elements beating it and warping it. She felt warm, very warm, her skin tingled. It moved beneath her, whatever this was, and her veins turned from blue to black. She felt scared but she couldn’t say that, not when the face of her son rested in her lap as she stroked his brow and thought about the countless hours he’d spent awake and knowing that she was going to die. How dare she get sick?

  
“No thank you, no thank you, I ain’t gunna pay for this shit.  
I can afford chemo like I can afford a limo;  
and any day I’d rather ride in a limousin.”

”How are you feeling?” Eren’s voice was small like when he was little and she had been sick with flu. It had worried him so badly he’d crawled into her bed when Grisha went to work with his little Survey Corps blanket and stuffed dog plushie, green eyes bigger than saucers, and thumb between his teeth, “I feel okay. I feel strange but okay.” Eren smiled, “Warm?” “Yes?” “Tingly?” He grinned, “Yes,” she smiled brighter, “Good. Then it’s working.” Carla turned her head to the side,“How do you know?” “Because that’s how it was with Erwin and that’s how it’s been with everyone else.” She did feel better, “Okay, but why is my blood black?” Eren stilled, “Uhhh well you’d probably wanna ask one of the real doctors.” She snorted, “I thought you were a real doctor now?” She gave him an amused look as he shook his head slightly, “No, I’m just the resident vet crossover. I have no idea why it’s black.” Carla rolled her eyes, “Levi?” She called loud enough for all to hear. 

Levi was in hallway talking to Hanji and the others, “Yes?” “Why is my blood black? Eren says he has no idea.” Nothing. “Levi?” “It’s black?” “Yeah, look at my veins.” Levi stepped inside, brow furrowed, “Oh, well, that’s new.” “What do you mean?” Carla sounded outraged, “Eren said this was normal.” “Not that dark. They were grey almost a silver look. This is just different.” Eren sprung off the sofa regarding his mother’s veins, “Levi, what’s going on?” Levi stood still, “Your mother,” he took a deep shuddering breath, “has changed the foundation of the vaccine and pretty much everything about it. Fuck.” “LEVI!” Carla admonished him, “Sorry….but you have and it’s a situation where fuck is an appropriate word. We wouldn’t even be in this predicament if everything you touched didn’t go to shit.” Eren gave him a disappointed look, “Now you’re saying shit and saying my mother is the problem. I will not forget that, Neshama. Shit is just as bad a word as fuck.” Levi took a step back, face aghast, “Shit,” he paused pointing his finger at Eren, “is not a bad word. It can be a noun and it is also a great flavoring participle like _doch_.”

*******************

_Crunch, crunch, crunch._ “Can you please shut your shitty mouth?” Levi was annoyed, Levi was tired, Levi was finished with Hanji and their bullshit eating. “Whhhaaaaat? Leeeevvvviiiiiii I’m so hungry.” Hanji rolled around in the lab chair while Grisha sat a cup of coffee next to Levi, “We’ll just have to call dinner in and eat here. I know Carla and the others are hungry as well.” Levi patted his stomach absentmindedly, “Mmmmm do you have any good food around?” Grisha snorted, “Of course.” “I’d like some really specific stuff if you don’t mind.” “Um well, this is a big city-“ “Israeli salad and shawarma.” “Well, I’ll just…have to use google. Don’t worry. I’ll let you get back to your research.” Levi blinked his eyes, staring at the blood and all the other things around him as he tried to make sense of it. Hanji had been a big help, despite the noise and the fact that they were doing things with Mila he’d liked to be included in, but that was a whole other thing.

Levi put his earphones in and turned his music on. He always got his best work done when in his own space, his own world, and alone from distraction.

  
“Uh-uh-uh uh, uh, uh-uh uh-uh-uh  
Johnny's in America  
No tricks at the wheel  
Uh-uh-uh uh, uh, uh-uh uh-uh-uh  
Nobody needs anyone  
They don't even just pretend  
Uh-uh-uh uh, uh, uh-uh uh-uh-uh  
Johnny's in America

I'm afraid of Americans  
I'm afraid of the world  
I'm afraid I can't help it  
I'm afraid I can't  
I'm afraid of Americans  
Johnny's in America  
Uh-uh-uh uh, uh, uh-uh uh-uh-uh

Johnny wants a plane  
Johnny wants to suck on a Coke  
Johnny wants a woman  
Johnny wants to think of a joke  
Uh-uh-uh uh, uh, uh-uh uh-uh-uh  
Johnny's in America  
Uh-uh-uh uh, uh, uh-uh uh-uh-uh”  


Levi took a look at Carla’s blood again noticing the changes in it in just a few seconds. It was changing and he couldn’t keep up but it wasn’t necessarily changing for the worse if one could qualify what a change for the worse would be like. She was sitting with Eren in the office still with the others but if he needed her sent to him he could have her called. He kept running it through his mind, _O negative mother, O positive father, O negative child, O negative mother, O positive father….it didn’t make sense._ His eyes widened.

  
“I'm afraid of Americans  
Uh-uh-uh uh, uh, uh-uh uh-uh-uh

Johnny's in America  
Johnny looks up at the stars  
Johnny combs his hair  
And Johnny wants pussy in cars  
Johnny's in America, uh-uh-uh uh, uh, uh-uh uh-uh-uh  
I'm afraid of Americans

_**God is an American  
God is an American** _

Yeah, I'm afraid of Americans  
I'm afraid of the words  
I'm afraid I can't help it  
I'm afraid I can't  
I'm afraid of Americans

Johnny's an American  
Johnny's an American  
Johnny's an American, uh-uh-uh uh, uh, uh-uh uh-uh-uh”  


_The mother must be carrying a positive Rh child and not a negative for erthroblastosis to occur. Why would that have been the official reasoning for her miscarriages since Eren is Rh negative? He’s not positive. Why have I NEVER THOUGHT OF THIS WHAT KIND OF DOCTOR AM I?_ Levi ripped his earphones out turning to face where Hanji had been. He soon noticed Hanji had gone out for a moment. He collected himself, _no, something else must be going on, right?_ He put them back inside and shuffled her papers around looking at the dates of past illness and then he focused on the miscarriages.

  
“The world is a vampire, sent to drain  
Secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames  
And what do I get, for my pain?  
Betrayed desires, and a piece of the game  
Even though I know--I suppose I'll show  
All my cool and cold-like old job

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage  
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage  
Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved  
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage

Now I'm naked, nothing but an animal  
But can you fake it, for just one more show?  
And what do you want? I want to change  
And what have you got?  
When you feel the same  
Even though I know--I suppose I'll show  
All my cool and cold-like old job”  


_**What was Dr. Jaeger’s original research done in? ******_

”Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage  
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage  
Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved  
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage  
Tell me I'm the only one, tell me there's no other one  
Jesus was an only son  
Tell me I'm the chosen one  
Jesus was an only son for you”  


Levi stared at the blood under the microscope again and his thoughts spun around like a centrifuge till they hit a wall. It was when he pulled up an article Dr. Jaeger had written early in his career that the writing on the wall became somewhat clear. His blood ran cold chilling him inside and his ears began to ring again. A memory of that night, the night of the party, “I started to wonder if I had cursed her so I stopped thinking about me and thought about her and then she got pregnant the fourth time with Eren and carried him up to 25 weeks and then I put her on bed rest till 38 weeks when we had to deliver him by emergency c-section. He nearly died. She nearly died. We didn’t **think about** erythroblastosis. _Really, if it was just that then she wouldn’t have carried him almost to term. I don’t understand.”_

  
“Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage  
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage  
Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved  
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage  
Tell me I'm the only one, tell me there's no other one  
Jesus was an only son  
And I still believe that I cannot be saved”

Hanji tapped his shoulder as he spun around ripping the earphones out again, “Look at this.” He said the words quickly as he stood up. They narrowed their eyes, “It’s that bad, huh?’ They took a seat looking under the microscope, “Wow. Well, that’s actually really great news isn’t it?” Levi stood staring at the back of their head. His head spinning.

Hanji removed their glasses laying them to the side before stretching back in the chair with a long inhalation that seemed to be sucking in all of the room’s good air leaving Levi increasingly desperate for a gust of refreshing life returning oxygen. “We need to keep this to ourselves and by that I mean lock it up and test it more until we understand it’s potential. I know that this isn’t what we expected but what is happening and the status of Carla is unexpected and we need that to also stay under wraps.” Hanji turned around, “I’m saying that we’re not going to tell Shin Bet or anyone about this for a good while, Levi. Understood?” 

Levi looked to be in the midst of a sheer panic. White bloodless skin, bluish lips, glassy eyes rimmed pink, sweaty palms, and a look that one would only have to just see in order to understand. They knew he heard them, understood them, but something else lurked beneath the surface of him and whatever he had worked out must be even more mind boggling than what they had come to understand. “Levi?” Levi shuddered, he opened his mouth, lips parting revealing white glistening teeth, “In psychology,” the words were hoarse and weak, “we create models based off of theories and when we test them we have these expectations.” Hanji took their hair out of their bun, long sienna locks falling freely while they took his words in, feeling out their meaning, they continued, “and we expect them to follow a certain set of rules and thus move or affect the model a certain predetermined way.” Levi fidgeted with his cuff, opening his mouth again in such an anguished expression, “But, then,” he paused looking at them in the their eyes, peering into their soul, speaking seriously, “we also secretly, sickly even, want it to fail. We want it to stay out of our grasp.” Hanji stared for a long moment. They thought about it before asking, “Why?” Levi swallowed, his words were matter of fact but heavy and they fell like the heavy rings of funeral chimes, “We don’t want it to end.” 


	60. Hatred Grows

Levi walked outside in the hallway, walking quickly, walking with purpose. He saw Erwin coming around the corner and he stopped to try and avoid him. “Levi,” Erwin’s voice began, “don’t even try to avoid me. What’s wrong?” Levi didn’t know how to explain but he wasn’t going to lie to Erwin, not with everything in their lives going so well now, “Carla, it’s good news but I need to talk to Dr. Jaeger before I even really tell you what’s going on. I may be very, very mistaken.” Erwin appraised him, “I highly doubt you are mistaken.” Levi leaned forward to be closer to him, “Are you sure?” Erwin nodded, “You’re a man of purpose and fact. Is it really looking promising?” Levi nodded offering a pained smile, “Yes, she looks great. I’ll tell everyone once I speak to Grisha. Hanji is waiting on me so I need to find him soon to get back to them.” Erwin stepped aside, “Of course, don’t let me keep you.” Erwin gave Levi’s hand a squeeze as he passed, “Lee, I love you. You’re going to figure it all out.” He hoped Erwin was right.

***********************

Grisha was outside on the roof balcony. He was smoking as Levi approached, “That’s bad for your health.” Grisha turned, his face shameful. “This is a smoking day.” Levi stared, “I’m going to be blunt.” He said the words as the wind whipped around the corner of the building’s outer stone wall. Grisha looked at his feet, “I would hope that you’ll always be that way with me, Levi.” Levi’s throat started to close as he sought the words, “I hate you.” The wind ate the words but Grisha read his lips.

He took a long drag of his cigarette, end bright in red and orange fire, “I know. I know but it was necessary.” Levi’s body shook, it wasn’t acceptable, “I hate you so much.” His entire body sagged as the weight hit him that he was in the middle of something potentially life altering, “I hate you, Grisha Jaeger.” Grisha nodded but not in an attempt to patronize him, “I know and I hope that one day that changes. Please, if you’ll allow me to present the facts as it pertains to my-“ “My family is dead, Grisha. I am an orphan.” Grisha’s words were incinerated by the hotter and more passionate ones. He had no idea that his future son-in-law was an orphan and now he felt the shame that this secret would bring him in the eyes of the man who would be his son’s everything.

Grisha lowered his hand, “It was what it was.” Levi wanted to vomit white hot lead, burning sulfurous fumes of noxious gas like in the trenches of World War One. He shuddered, “My mother did everything to have a child. That’s something I know, I was wanted and loved by her. Eren knows that feeling. Her sacrifices were her own. She controlled them but you have taken that from Carla. You are a monster.” His words were true and Grisha couldn’t deny them. “What I did was in the name of science, just like what Dr. Zoe did. It is no different and to try and pick it all apart is to lose sight of the larger picture. Eren is here. It’s different now. I told you before I had no desire to have children, I didn’t understand then what it felt like to have one or to be attached to one. I was lost in a sense; I had never imagined the feeling or the purpose of having something this tangible and intangible attached to me.” Levi’s mouth was dry and he felt like his ancestors in the desert, faced with the unimaginable yet it was so, “But the others? How could you?” _How could you do that to your own flesh and blood? Did you do it to others?_

”Levi, I did it simply because it would help others and it would get me money in order to support my family and help me take down those I considered to be destroying the medical community here. You think I’ve always been successful? No, I’ve had to work hard and do things that were beneath most others to get here. I had to change the game in order to play it firs, let alone win.” Levi’s fist clenched, flesh white over the knuckles, “We’re they really doing what people said they were doing?” Grisha sighed looking out over the city landscape, “You know, they started their own religion. They think they’re above everyone. They’re horrible people, more horrible than me.” Levi couldn’t believe that right now, “How is that?” Grisha looked at him like he couldn’t believe that he was asking, “Everything they learned they learned by the suffering of your people, Levi. They got all their medical research done in the ghettos and camps. It’s not well known, I found the proof but even so after all this time documents are missing, people are dead. One lurks in every social circle these days. One of them. It’s why I want you to take over when I’m gone. Because you’re not one of them, you never will be.”

*************************

Levi took the elevator. He rode up and down and up and down until the white plastic above him shook and the light flickered. His back was wet from sweat and the longer he leaned against the stainless steel wall the colder his body became. Cold, so cold like countless bodies in the rain and the snow in long ditches across black soil and lye between then layers before they were covered to never been seen again, to be forgotten. To forget them is to kill them again, he always believed that. How could he not? He would never insult those he killed by forgetting them, yes even the ones he himself had killed. He would not forget them either. What is this, to be a Jew? Is this what it’s like? Levi’s head turned to rest against the chrome, his profile reflected in striking white and blacks as he thought, _why is it so fucking hard to be a Jew?_

The doors opened and Levi looked to see Erwin walk in. His hands were deep in his pocket, hair combed and styled like some Nazi soldier that was about to offer him a bribe to turn in his friends for ghetto deportation, he knew it was dark, hell everything Levi ever thought was dark, but that was his life and he only knew the cold, the hard, the ugly. Only recently did his world swim with green and blue and gold. Erwin stood before him, look of patience and promise on his handsome face as the doors closed behind him. Erwin’s dark slate grey cashmere V-neck sweater covered by a long black sued coat and cobalt blue Calvin Klein jeans made for an impressive visage. Levi looked him up and down as the elevator continued its ascent towards the top floor again. 

Erwin smiled and Levi knew that it had begun. He watched him turn around to the buttons on the wall and hit the emergency stop. The gears grinded to a stop and they were left suspended floors above the ground, above the soil, the soil that swallows people. “Levi, what’s on your mind?” Erwin’s words were friendly, the ones he reserved for meetings with underlings and soldiers he needed to make comfortable. Levi smirked closing his eyes, “I was just thinking.” Erwin’s lips twitched, “What were you thinking about?” Levi’s shoulders rolled, “Why?” “Why what?” “Why is it so hard to be a fucking Jew?” Erwin snorted tilting his head to the side, “Why is it so fucking hard to love a Jew?” 

He smirked as Levi rolled his eyes, “Let’s go the fuck home.” Erwin hit the call button. A grainy voice appeared over the intercom, “May I help you?” “Yes ma’am, we hit the stop by mistake. Could you return service to us?” Erwin smiled like she could see him and soon they were moving again. “I have always found that loving a Jew is the most rewarding thing one can do. It may be the hardest but it is not without substantial perks.” Levi stepped forward wrapping his arms around his waist and leaning on him till Erwin took most of his weight, “Mm I love you. It’s easy to love you.” Erwin’s arms covered him pulling him closer. Erwin knew that this must be a sign that something tragic was going to happen or had happen. “Come on, Lee.” Levi’s face buried into his chest further, “When we get home find me, Erwin. Find me and tell me you love me. Before you go to bed tonight, please.” Erwin chuckled, as Levi pressed even closer to his chest to hear his heart beat. Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum like the song Misirlou it thumped and thrummed and Levi lost himself to the orient of his mind.

****************

Carla Jaeger was now normal in the sense her veins were no longer black and she seemed to be feeling a lot better. The heat and nausea has resided and now Hanji had her performing countless tests that seemed ridiculous but as Erwin returned he said they were all routine and Eren had made him do the same. Her system was now almost free of cancer and it seemed her body was healing but still, _Why?_

Levi knew Hanji well enough to know they were also silently taking a step back to wonder what made Carla Jaeger so damn special. It would seem her child had also been the very missing link they needed for Levi’s research to take off. Hanji had never doubted him but now this was all starting to just slip away from them and once it started slipping then their control would lessen and there went their money, security, and ability to work. Hanji took a step towards Levi holding Carla’s file close and showing him a few things. Levi was off, not in a way many could tell, it was inside of him and Hanji worried Eren would pick up on it.

After another hour mostly everyone was excited that she’d been confirmed to have healed and be cured but they were also confused and emotional. Carla looked to Levi watching as he stood apart from everyone. His eyes fell to Eren and followed wherever her son went. Soon he was reaching out taking his fingers lightly as he passed. There was something sad about it, the way he touched Eren. There was something sad about Levi as she looked at him more. Eren had kept pretty quiet about Levi’s past and for the first time Carla realized she knew nothing about him personally other than he treated her son right, was a stable person with secure incomes and career prospects, and also simply that he was Jewish and outwardly reserved. 

She approached him as Grisha entered the room. It was clear to her that at the sudden entrance of her husband Levi’s eyes that were turned to the floor widened almost feral, pupils dilated, and body stiff. _Fear._ He turned his face up slightly to see more and when Grisha touched the sleeve of Eren she saw his face changed slightly. _Hate._ Why would Levi look like that at her husband? “Levi?” He turned to face her, “Carla.” The name was heavy in his emotionless voice. She realized just how uncomfortable he was calling her by her name. He clearly wanted to respect her and the use of her first name caused him pain. “What would you feel comfortable calling me other than Carla? I get it now, you’re just not that kind of person.” Levi seemed to not know what to say or he just didn’t have an expression that she could read currently on his face.

“I’m a blunt person, Levi. As you can tell. Eren and I have a lot of similarities in that department. What do you call your mother?” Levi blinked, “It….” _my mother is dead,_ “depended on the language.” She gave him a second, “Well, is there one you…” _depended?_ “were attached to?” He nodded, “Maman. I’m sure Jean has used it with Ms. Kirschstein since it means mom in French. Well, it’s what kids call their mothers.” “So, I don’t like Mrs. Jaeger or Mrs. Carla or Mrs. C or what have you for you to use because you’re going to be my second son and I want you to know that I’m here for you and I care about you. I’ll see you as the other half of Eren and….and what you’ve done for me…Hanji was telling me about how hard you’ve been working to save me from this and….” “I couldn’t let Eren go through losing his mother. I can’t let someone I love feel that pain.” 

Carla took a few seconds to compose herself, “I thank you for that. I’ve been trying to get Grisha and Eren to bond more and it’s working but I knew it’d not be the same. Eren wouldn’t be the same and I know if I lost him I’d just never be able to go on.” She shook her head, “Thank you. Honestly.” Levi turned to look for Eren again. He kept him always in his sights. Was this man really a captain of a squad, a marine, a surgeon, a hero, a warrior and soldier? He was so vulnerable, sensitive, full of kindness and caring. His heart must be too big for his chest and pushing on the bones trying to escape it ivory confines. She’d never seen such oceans of emotions in someone as she did Levi Ackermann. He was rare and awe inspiring, those grey eyes of stehtl winters in Europe. Her entire being felt electrified by him. What had he lived through? “Ima,” his voice was low and thoughtful, a bit more emotional, “I’ll call you Ima. It means mother in Hebrew. But it sounds like…your soul to me.” 

She didn’t understand, “I love it but I don’t understand what you mean. Is that an expression.” He looked embarrassed, “No, it’s just that, that souls are special and in Judaism when you name a child you listen to its soul and it has a name and that name is the name God gave it and therefore, you should name your child its rightful name.” She liked that a lot, “Was Levi your correct name?” He seemed surprised at her question, “I believe it was.” “What’s your full name?” “Levi Velvel Ackermann.” “It all means?” “In Hebrew? Attached wolf. Ackermann is a ploughman of the fields in German.” “I like speaking with you, Levi.” He offered a small upturn of his lips, “I enjoy speaking with you,” he looked thoughtful before adding, “Ima.”

Before she could question him further Grisha made his way over and she noticed Levi’s demeanor change as his eyes hardened against him. Hanji noticed and if there was something they couldn’t stand it was someone upsetting Levi. They would take control if this. “Carla!” They called loudly, “come ‘round y’all. I think I’ve figured out why Carla is so special and has helped us in forming ground breaking research and findings.” Everyone gathered around allowing Levi to make eye contact with Eren who smiled opening his arms to him and making grabby hands. Levi darted over. Armin and Erwin quietly watching as Mikasa and David did the same. They knew something was wrong but were going to let this play out unless they needed to intervene.

“After looking into your medical history and charts I found a link to the Basques, an ethnic group located mostly in Spain. To save all the boring details I’ll have to tell Levi over and over again, I think that your heritage may come from Sephardic Jews who fled the area in order to avoid another Spanish wave of antiemetic hate after the 1500s and landed in Turkey, probably hidden by well meaning Muslim friends or Christians maybe I don’t know I need to trace your ancestry and do some digging. I’ll expect you to turn all personal documents and such over to Eren for further research. I think that since this is not only linked to Rh diseases but also involves a ethnically Jewish heritage you might be mutating like David and Levi.” Hanji smiled brightly as the others smiled in response to their lovable antics. 

Armin took Erwin’s hand moving closer into his side, “Erwin?” Erwin looked down, “Mm?” “I wanna go home.” Erwin was surprised, “Now?” Armin’s reply was quiet and muffled, “Yeah.” “Why?” “It’s not right.” “What isn’t?” “I don’t know, Erwin. I don’t want to be here anymore. I feel like…it’s like when my parents were….I can’t explain. Just take me to the car, please.” Erwin patted Armin’s hand on his arm looking towards Levi who met his gaze.

”I’m going to take Armin out for some air. We’re really tired.” Eren’s body shifted when he heard Erwin’s unsaid words, _Armin wants to go._ Eren looked at his mother smiling, “Momma, we all need to go get some rest, especially you. I think we can call it a night.” Carla smiled, “I am very blessed.” Grisha’s hand found her own before he cleared his throat. “We’ll put you all up so you don’t have to drive back tonight.” Hanji shook her head heading over to hug Carla, “Not me! I’ve got to get home to a baby and fiancé who’ll want to hear alllll about how you’re doing!” Hanji trilled with laughter as they went to the door to stand by waiting for the others. Levi knew it was almost all show. “We’re leaving.” Eren jumped, “We are?” Levi bit his lip, “I want to go home, Eren. I want to sleep in my bed.” 

Mikasa’s eyes narrowed, “I’m going to stay so you and Levi can leave and I’ll be here tomorrow if mom needs something.” David stood firmly beside her. He’d stay with her despite the worry he was nursing for Levi right now. Levi gave him a look promising him an explanation. That’s all he needed, _HaShem bless achki._ Eren nodded but still seemed unsure of the situation. Levi made to move towards the door, “If you have problems,” he turned to Carla, “call Eren or me. We’ll come right back. But, I think you’re going to be just fine and we’ll keep you up to date on what we need from you and what we find out.” Carla walked forward hugging him despite his awkward bodily response, “Thank you so much, Levi. Please, let’s talk more.” He looked at the ceiling. Levi felt himself return to the numbness, “I will, Ima.” She released him and took Eren into her arms as the others said goodbyes and made plans. Erwin, Armin, Eren, and Levi would be returning with Hanji to Maria while David and Mikasa stayed the week with the Jaegers and Jean and Marco stayed with their parents helping them finish renovating some of the rooms in their house.

****************

Armin led the way quickly as Erwin followed perplexed by the tension present between his shoulder blades as his long blond hair made into a cute messy bun that sat low on his neck bobbed with each step. Levi and Eren followed silently. When they got to the car Armin stopped hand on door handle to the back seat, “Armin?” Armin looked up to see Levi pulling out his keys, “Erwin’s going to drive so you can sit up front if you want.” Armin looked back towards the handle and then Levi, “I’m going to sit in the back. I’m already here.” 

Levi nodded as Eren started to go around the side and head towards the back seat of the driver’s side behind Erwin, “Eren!” Eren stopped turning around by the passenger side bumper, “Yes?” Levi searched him with his eyes, took his hands in his own before moving them up his arms and neck before holding his face tenderly. He peered into his soul, mouth quivering, eyes brimming with tears, “Eren, I am,” he took a shuddering breath, “so glad that you are alive and that you…” His words died as Eren’s face went from confusion to sadness, “Levi, what’s wrong?” Levi shook his head, “I’m just telling you I am glad that you are here, alive, with me, and that I am able to be with you and love you. I love you and I want you. You are wanted by me.” Eren managed a reassuring smirk, “I love you and want you too.” The couples got into the car.

Almost an hour in to the ride Eren started to notice the odd atmosphere, “What am I missing?” Armin looked over, “I just…I didn’t feel good. I don’t know I started thinking about some things that made me remember when I was sick and well, you know. You know how I get when I think about it.” Eren nodded, “God, Armin. I’m sorry. I didn’t even think about that.” Erwin perked up, “I’d like an explanation for future reference.” Armin drank the remainder of his coke from dinner Erwin brought with him as they left. _He is such a thoughtful daddy._ “When I was growing up I had this autoimmune disorder, well, I guess I still do have it it’s just under control. I spent a lot of time in and out of the doctors but only if Dr. Jaeger took me and thus I equate all those bad things with Dr. Jaeger in his coat and at the hospital.” 

Erwin hummed, “That must have been hard with school. At least you’re really smart.” Armin tilted his head, “Oh, Erwin, I never told you. I wasn’t enrolled in a real school till seventh grade.” Levi’s skin had goose bumps, “Why?” He wanted to know. “My parents put me in a religious school from age three till then. It was horrible because they technically said they homeschooled me and that’s the paperwork they filled out but in the US you can home school your kid in any way with some requirements by the state. Most say you have certain tests you have to take but Alabama made it to where you have to be affiliated with a religious group to home school and they are not regulated at all nor can they be reviewed.” Levi looked at Erwin who was equally as upset. “Armin, start from the beginning. This is sounding like….” Levi snorted, “My childhood.” Armin looked thoughtful as Levi’s words set in.

”When I was born you all know I wasn’t planned and my parents didn’t really want to be bothered so when I got sick they would just let me be sick. They didn’t believe in medicine and going to the doctor and all that. They were “pray pray pray” and it’ll go away. Eventually after they became sick, they started to go to the doctor or take me but only when praying was taking too long or they worried people might call the cops. Dr. Jaeger noticed how sick I was when my mother would visit with Carla and he started making house visits which my parents liked because it took very little effort on their part. He was and has been my main physician my entire life.” Levi’s blood ran cold for the thousandth time and he started putting it all together. Erwin would be furious. “So, the school?” 

”My parents are old school German Lutheran. Like, freaks and I had no idea until recently that Lutherans aren’t like this across the board. They found a church that ran a day school and they put me in it. It was…devastating. I am very fucked up and I know that it now is all stemming from my childhood at this school and how my parents raised me. They would publicly shame kids for things and they were physically abusive. I would run away when I could but they’d find me and beat me. Eventually, I stopped going every day when my parents weren’t home and as you go older they only required that you come three times a week. I begged to be put into normal school and I wanted to learn so many things that they forbid me from learning that I would steal books from Eren and the money that was left for me to buy food at lunch went towards more and more books. I just wanted to learn. I just wanted to be away, away from that fucked up world where a child is beaten for looking out the window in bible study and where above the pulpit the words “The sins of the father shall be visited upon the children.” I wanted to be free.” 

”When I was eleven I was allowed to start school with Eren thanks to the Jaegers and I was so happy. But, as soon school was starting in August I got sick, really sick. Dr. Jaeger pumped me full of stuff and he kept watch over me any time he could. I felt like an experiment but he was just concerned. I had moved in with Eren after Carla found out I was alone with no water or power and I was literally starving to death because my parents left me without telling anyone and two months in the bills weren’t paid and then the food barely lasted another month and then it was month four and I was desperate and weak all the time.” Erwin felt like thrashing and wrecking the car. He felt like lighting the world on fire and finding Armin’s parents. He would kill them, one day he would choke the life from them until he watched their eyes glaze over and their souls return to hell.

Levi wanted to weep for Armin. They were so similar it was heartbreaking. “How long were you sick for?” Armin hummed, “August to December. I started in the middle of the year.” “And caught up?” “Was ahead, actually.” “We are very…similar.” Eren patted Armin’s leg, “I’m so glad you’re here and my friend.” Armin snorted trying to play off how much that meant to him, “Don’t go and pull whatever shit Levi was pulling a little while ago. That was so intense it scared me.” Levi leaned against the glass, “Whatever shit heads. I’ll keep my feelings to myself from now on.” Eren screeched, “Nooooooo Levy, pleaseeeeee don’t do that.” Eren moved through the center console, his face appeared right next to Levi’s exposed neck. He left a small kiss while Levi kept his head turned, “Look at me, Neshama. Kiss me?” Levi rolled his eyes turning to kiss him, “Shitty brat.”

******************

Armin and Eren were asleep as Erwin made his way into their joint office. “Lee?” Levi sat on the white couch, Turkish coffee nearly gone, “I’m supposed to tell you how much I love you and care about you.” Levi looked up, eyes rimmed red with dark circles, “Do you mean it?” He walked closer, “Of course.” Levi pushed a folded piece of his personal stationary towards him over the coffee table. “I couldn’t trust myself to say the words. Instead, I wrote them down over and over and then cast them into the fire until I felt it was right. After you read them, I ask that you wait and speak with me in the morning after you’ve had time to think about it. Don’t tell Eren and Armin yet. We’ll discuss that in the morning, Eineiym sheli.” Levi stood up on his tip toes, something Erwin knew he hated to do, and kissed him shortly before leaving towards the door, “A cup of coffee for you is on the table over there.” And into the shadows he faded.


	61. Infanticide

__

Dr. Grisha Jaeger has committed in the most gruesome sense infanticide. Though the description of life and when it begins is much debated it is one thing to act completely indifferently to it being in some shape or form, _life._. For instance: as a physician, I respect the decision of women who wish to terminate their pregnancies. I see the beginning stages clinically: a clump of cells without a consciousness. I feel the need to keep my own personal opinions to myself once the pregnancy becomes later in term in order to make sure that my patient makes the best decision for her and the future of this clump of cells. To say that it has more rights than the body of the person in which it resides has never made sense to me. Notice the shift in words, from clump to child. When I have performed abortions, and I have done so in many countries and for many reasons, I have personally internally used the words child and baby. But, that comes from my religious background. I see life as sacred. 

The Talmud says the preservation of life is the highest commandment above all others. This is why those who denied their Jewishness in order to avoid persecution in the ghettos of Europe are not seen as betrayers to me. My Hassidic and Ashkenazi background would have me believe it so but that is not how I interpret the holy texts. Rabbis are not infallible, not all Jews uphold the law that you must treat your fellow Jew with strict honesty, not all things can be explained by God and thus we are once again shown that it is our duty here and now to make a change for our own selves. How this pertains to Grisha Jaeger is perhaps not as cut and dry as it appears to me so I will try to list his transgressions as legibly as possible.

Dr. Jaeger’s early research involved stem cell research and that is what he was most known for. Unfortunately, before that he was a pioneer in the Rh negative field and the reasons for Rh negative blood types among us was his thesis for his Ph.D. He used his own first miscarried child as a catalyst for this research. The second one was forcibly aborted due to a blood transfusion causing the mother, his wife, to form antigens that crossed the blood membrane barrier and killed the fetus. (Note, I also use the word fetus, child, baby, and clump of cells interchangeably. This is no indication on the age or denotation of weeks of the pregnancy.) It is safe to assume the reasons for the blood transfusion were motivated in hope of this outcome for he was her primary physician.

Dr. Jaeger found his niche in the scientific community when he found a way to reverse blood types in individuals. This is considered a breakthrough in many circles and he published his work under an alias Georg Samsa, which is also the main character in Kafka’s _Metamorphosis_ and fitting for it seems this story takes on the overall Kafkaesque feeling of the famous writer’s works, about the success of reversing it on his third child after death. The details I wish not to describe here at any great length so I shall be short: the child was also forcibly aborted, without consent of the mother, and he attempted not only to bring the child back to life but also reversed its blood type and dissected it’s brain for another line of research which will be addressed shortly. 

It was with his fourth and final child that he seemed to take the most care. For once, his child was actually the dangerous O positive blood type that would result in a miscarriage and upon this discovery he resigned his wife to bed rest and carefully watched over her till the 38 week mark where during an emergency C-section he administered the vaccine while the child was still in the bag, present still in the uterus, and reversed the blood type before an injury caused by the sudden trauma of falling from the bed could allow blood to pass through and kill the child. He seemed to be very interested in saving this child and through close observation and more vaccines he was able to save it’s life, return it to normal health, and change the blood type from O positive to O negative. His work in this area has stayed mostly secret and relegated to the CDC and their disaster relief preparations in case O negative blood ever fell to record low levels. His child, however, was often subjected to other testing until he found a new infant to focus on. 

This child, call him Axel, was born with an autoimmune disorder that perplexed the doctor. He spent countless months pumping him full of different radicalizing vaccines and subjecting him to often cruel experiments without his knowledge such as leaving him out in the cold for hours until he nearly succumbed to the freezing temperatures. The child was an infant and he did this also in the summer when it was most hot. Once he subjected the child to a form of tetanus that he was later able to reverse. The child was only two years of age. 

Or the strange sleep deprivation studies, where he prevented sleep for up to 72 hours in some cases from age three to 10, where he analyzed the child’s brain patterns. He later did this with his own child as well. Eventually, he made a breakthrough that allowed the immune disorder to become manageable and eventually unnoticeable. This research won him countless prizes along with the others from his blood type research. The absolutely _schrecklich_ experiments about bringing people back from a state of clinically dead may have also been later revived by this child after it sustained fatal injuries from being hanged. 

It was in these personal experiments with the child and Axel that his real passions began to expose themselves. He was interested in not only blood but the link it played to personality, memory, and soul. A modern day Galen who was giving pnuema theory another go. For the most part those around him were very excited and positive about it.

However, he drew unwanted attention from the medical community when he proposed a theory relating to the powerful and infamous Reiss family. He proposed that linked in all humans were memories from past lives and experiences that were passed from generation to generation. The Reiss family seemed to want to suppress this, for it is rumored that they have done horrendous things and are presently responsible for the consistent string of kidnappings of children to use in scientific studies and conversions to their religious cult that believes they are the guardians of humanity, and a great legal battle began in which Dr. Jaeger was confined to his own menial resources as no clinic or university would offer him any aid save for his alma mater _Maria University._

Those within the science department banded together and offered him not only a paid fellowship but a loan to purchase the hospital that now bears his name and takes 50 students every semester from the school for their clinical and Ph.D dissertations. Mr. Gabriel Smith released a statement saying that, “Dr. Jaeger is fighting for us all. He is fighting for truth and transparency. Those who fear him, have something to hide and those who support him have everything to gain from what he will uncover.” The scientific community has always been flooded by the Reiss family and their secrets. I was even forced to pay homage in order to receive grant funding for my own blood research due to the similarities of Dr. Jaeger’s previous research results. 

His research on the matter is still resting under a veil of secrecy but what is clear is that the Reiss family is waiting for any sign to pursue legal action. It would seem that Dr. Jaeger’s last attempts at awakening these so called memories were all done to his child and Axel. He has used them for the bulk of his research and they are, therefore, his only evidence not confiscated or destroyed by the Reiss family in the early years of their battle. The Reiss family has returned to their secret society and comfortable religious compounds and have said nothing else on the matter for the past eight years. 

Grisha Jaeger has done remarkable things but at what cost? Is his work still promising? Should it be investigated and would revealing the Reiss family and their crimes be a benefit to the world as Mr. Smith stated? These are all legitimate questions that warrant further reflection. Though, for me, the horrors may not outweigh the merits of such answers. Only HaShem knows what is to come and why. It is not for me ask him but rather decided how I shall fell about this knowledge and how it affects my life and my relationships with those involved. 

Erwin Smith laid the letter down drinking his coffee slowly till it was finished. He stood up, putting the paper in an envelope and sealing it before he placed it among the bookshelves between a few tomes of Kafka prose. He thought that was befitting of the situation.


	62. Wedding Party and Ribbons

**The Wedding Week**

Armin was franticly looking for his passport when he realized that he’d been declared dead and therefore, his social and everything was all messed up. That led to him trying to correct it all on his own which didn’t work well and that led him to the courthouse where he’d stood in line all day and had been denied and now he wasn’t sure if he’d done something illegal. He couldn’t have been the only one to fake their death? Right? Or was that illegal? How was this America, land of the free, if you couldn’t fucking fake your own death? What even is the point of being American if you can’t do exactly what the fuck you want to do? He’d tried to find something to eat but realized his wallet was missing. _Fuck_

Armin left the courthouse bumping into a large and sturdy chest, “Armin,” the voice was winded, “come with me.” Armin was pulled into the dreary humid weather. The sky was now black. He’d be heading to Montgomery this week with Levi and tomorrow was Eren’s party which he was excited for but a bit perplexed because Eren was keeping it a secret. Mikasa, Sasha, Hanji, and Armin would all be doing something with him special since they were in his party. Connie had to work and Jean had been missing in action since a special piece had been commissioned. Honestly, Armin hoped Marco would be able to make it. He’d been working a lot as well. 

_I am so tired._ David’s arm wrapped around him and pulled him to his car. “We’ll take yours.” Armin was perplexed, “But where is yours?” “At the house.” “You walked here?!” “Give me your key.” His voice left no room for discussion, “Get in please.” He opened the passenger door and Armin sat down. “Shit,” he realized he was running out of gas when he pulled in, “David, I’m almost out of gas.” David started to adjust the seat, “Don’t worry. I’ll fill it up.” “I don’t have my wallet.” “You don’t need it.” Armin sat back in the seat looking at David as he turned the car on and drove them to the nearest kangaroo gas station. He pumped the gas and went inside to pay. _Probably with cash since it’s cheaper to buy gas with cash._ Armin thought as he closed his eyes sighing, _my best friend is getting married, my fiancé is acting really strangely but not too bad I guess the random gifts are nice, and my god I’m so fucking hungry._

David opened the door, the rain now coming down in a thick and powerful sheet. He was oddly relaxed looking today not in a suit. He put a bag in Armin’s lap before staring the car, checking the tire pressure, writing the mileage down, checking the mirrors, and overall being the most anal driver outside of Levi he’d ever seen. Armin looked at his faded blue jeans, they looked like a layer of Israeli sand still clung to them, his brown combat boots, white T-shirt, and green military jacket that was currently dripping with water. Armin looked into the bag finding a water, peanut butter crackers, animal cookies, and gum. Armin snorted, “Wow, this is certainly a feast you’ve kind provided for me.” David smirked, “The practical man that I am threw two things in there for fun. I’m sure you can guess which ones they are.” 

They headed towards the interstate, “Where are we going?” “Atlanta.” “Why?” “To bring you back to life without questions. Honestly, I expected you to reach out to me before anything else.” Armin felt ashamed, “You do enough.” “This is my job, don’t worry. How about we have a session in the car?” “I’d rather not. How about at your apartment?” “That’s fine. We can stay the night if it gets too late.” “It’s not going to take that long!” “It might. You are a very complicated person Mr. Arlert.” “Please go back to calling me by my first name.” “No, this is business.” “You are so lucky you’re beautiful to look at and I am trapped in this car.” David stilled, compliments always confused him and Armin was a really hard read for him. “Can I put on some music?” “Of course, whatever you want, Mr. Lavie.” David did not mind the honorific and Armin cursed himself because he knew he wouldn’t. 

David’s taste in music surprised Armin more than he would have thought. They listened to Chinese and Mongolian hymns and traditional songs. In fact, the cherry blossom melodies lulled him to an almost peaceful state after being wound so tightly. David removed his phone, “I didn’t bring my charger.” Armin fished in the glove compartment. “That’s fine. I want to put on something.” David nodded as Armin’s hand darted forward: 

“Å Silibrand körde uppå höga loftessvala  
Allt under den linden så gröna  
Där fick han se sin dotter i lunden fara  
I riden så varliga genom lunden med henne

Å välest mig välest mig vad jag nu ser  
Allt under den linden så gröna  
Jag ser min dotter hon kommer till mig  
I riden så varliga genom lunden med henne

Å Silibrand fämnar ut kap-pan så blå  
Allt under den linden så gröna  
Där föder hon två karska svenbarnen på  
I riden så varliga genom lunden med henne

Min fader skall jag giva min gån-gare grå  
Allt under den linden så gröna  
Som han skall rida till kyrkan uppå  
I riden så varliga genom lunden med henne

Min syster skall jag giva mina guld-ringar sju  
Allt under den linden så gröna  
Som jag ej haft sen jag stod brud  
I riden så varliga genom lunden med henne

Min broder skall jag giva mina hand-skar små  
Allt under den linden så gröna  
Som han skall ha lik-vart han går  
I riden så varliga genom lunden med henne

Den ene så för dom till Fre-jas dop  
Allt under den linden så gröna  
Den andre så för dom till Vallhalla sal  
I riden så varliga genom lunden med henne”

David listened enchanted, ”What is this song about? It’s been so long since I’ve heard Swedish. Help a rusty man out. Or, do you not know it?” He challenged and Armin smiled,

”  
O, Silibrant went up to the high loft  
All under the green linden tree  
There he saw his daughter going to the grove  
Ye ride so carefully through the grove with her

O, woe is me, woe is me, what do I behold  
All under the green linden tree  
I see my daughter coming to me  
Ye ride so carefully through the grove with her

O, Silibrant spread out his cloak so blue  
All under the green linden tree  
And upon it she did bear two bold baby boys  
Ye ride so carefully through the grove with her

I shall give my father my gray steed  
All under the green linden tree  
So he can ride to the church upon it  
Ye ride so carefully through the grove with her

I shall give my sister my seven golden rings  
All under the green linden tree  
That I have never worn since I was a bride  
Ye ride so carefully through the grove with her

I shall give my brother my small gloves  
All under the green linden tree  
That he shall take with him wherever he goeth  
Ye ride so carefully through the grove with her

One child they took to Freya's baptism  
All under the green linden tree  
The other they took to the hall of Valhalla  
Ye ride so carefully through the grove with her”

"Swedish is beautiful. The old stories are what we build off of today in many ways." David remarked softly as the rain tapped the windshield like beads of glass. "You know the old stories? It doesn't conflict with your religion?" David smiled, "Of course not. When we are small, a child, our world is small and things like conflicting narratives of how the world came to be is difficult and threatening to us. But as we grow older we are able to see the world for what it is, a multifaceted layered humanistic story with many beliefs and moving parts. We can pick and choose, develop opinions, personal belief and faith can be redefined. It's wonderful, liberating. I find the Norse stories just as satisfying as my Jewish mystic belief and I know Levi does, too. Why can't I have both? They are both my cultures since I am ethnically a part of both." Armin liked that very much, "Mrs. Jaeger read the Norse tails to me every night I was with them and we used to get into huge discussions about them. I always saw her a Gaia." "Why not Freya or the others like Idunna and Brynhild?" "Because she is the mother. It's just so." "Then that is the answer. In fact, Levi now calls her Ima from what he and I spoke about so that really does seem to be a shared sentiment."

”So, we’re going to the Israeli embassy and brining me back to life?” “Exactly.” “How was spending the week with Mr. and Mrs. Jaeger?” David seemed to think about his words carefully, “I enjoyed my time with Mikasa and her family.” Armin groaned, “You are so boooooring, David.” “I am sorry.” “UGGGH YOU BARELY USE CONTRACTIONS IN YOUR SPEECH WHO EVEN ARE YOU???” David laughed, “Okay, I’ll try to be more candid with you. I found Mikasa’s mother to be a wonderful and humorous person who treated me well. However, I prefer Ms. Kirschstein’s doting still. It must be that French nature that calls to me like it does Levi.” Armin’s eyes twinkled, “That was the most scathing thing you’ve ever said.” “Was it that bad?” “For you, yes.” 

”Dr. Jaeger was very upfront with me that if I wanted to be with Mikasa that I needed to respect her freedom, her privacy, her oddness. I didn’t at first understand what he was referring to. Mikasa is very obvious to me, like Levi. I understand what she wants by the way she moves her head, the way she smiles, when her eyes narrow. He was very interested in my background and I found it a bit uncomfortable to open up to him fully. Carla has a much more open arm approach and Ms. Kirschstein is another type entirely.” Armin nodded, “Dr. Jaeger has always been like that. He sometimes crosses the line and sees people not as people but as experiments.” The words felt a bit hot on his tongue and he didn’t like that. “I don’t mean that…in a bad way.” David didn’t say anything but Armin felt very uncomfortable about what he’d said and he wasn’t sure why.

******************

The embassy was less busy than normal and they headed to David’s office which was shared but empty at the moment. “My colleague is getting married in Israel. He’ll be gone a month. They’re moving into an apartment and getting settled before traveling on their honeymoon.” Armin looked around at the small artifacts on David’s desk, “Chinese dragon made of jade, shojo mask on the wall, and what’s this? A piece of Israel?” David smiled, “It is a stone from the first time I visited Israel as an adult. And I like my things. They remind me of my time spent traveling, the people I met, my culture, the history. You should not make fun.” Armin grinned, “I wasn’t making fun at all. I really like it. I need to have more cultural lessons from you. Do you like that Mikasa is half Japanese?” 

David turned a shade of pink, “I like Mikasa for who she is.” He mumbled as Armin sighed, “Daaaavid, I know that. But, you two must talk about it and really like sharing that.” David opened a file to start sorting out the mess that was Armin’s life, “I do. I have a gift for her, actually.” Armin sat on the desk holding the stone in his hand, “May I ask what it is?” “It’s a silk purse from the late 19th century or the Meiji period. It really spoke to me when I saw it and a friend owns it in his private collection. I got it for a nice price but it’s worth it when I think about how it makes me feel.” “How does it make you feel?” “Mikasa is like this silk purse. Strong enough to stand that tides of time and still beautiful and delicate to look at. I truly marvel at her.” Armin loved hearing David talk about Mikasa like that. His voice was so soft and full of just this intangible feeling of love that made Armin want to run to Erwin with his arms open and trying to convey how he felt about him.

David closed his files breaking Armin from his day dreams about Erwin and their wedding date that was coming up sooner and sooner. “Armin, congratulations.” He turned to look at him, “You are now alive. However, there is a slight issue.” _There always is._

*****************

Back at David’s apartment he ordered them food for their arrival. Armin took off his rain jacket sitting it down on the chair at the bar. He grabbed a plate and piled it high with food and then went to a new addition in the apartment: a white papa sun chair with Moroccan pillows and soft blankets. Armin’s dark blue skinny jeans stretched tightly over his legs that were increasingly becoming more defined as he grew older. He was slightly sad to lose his lithe body shape since it would make him look even more like a man in a dress when he wore them. However, caring about what others thought just wasn’t something he could be bothered with.

His shirt made David burst into laughter, “Where did you get that shirt?” Armin’s mouth was full of food but he managed to get it down and answer, “This is Eren’s. I got it for him and I grabbed it this morning when I got out of bed.” The shirt was red cotton with grays and greens. It had a mountain dew can with the words written in the slogan space “Dew the Jew.” David sat down to eat turning on the news. “Do you watch the news for fun?” David cut his eyes over, “Levi doesn’t?” “He does but when we’re together he puts on rock documentaries or something sexy and controversial.” David made a noise close to a humph. He looked curious for a moment and then turned it on Cartoon Network, “Let’s watch _Regular Show_ for a bit.” Armin squeeled, “Okay, yeeeeesssss.”

After almost an hour they were finished with their food and the show was over. David sat back, shoes off, and legs crossed. He started fishing for a pen and Armin knew it was coming, “Are we?” “Yes. We left off last week on something that I’ve been thinking about.” “We talked about a lot.” “Sex addiction. You asked if I thought you had one.” “I did?” “You did.” “Oh, well….I am incredibly scandalous aren’t I?” “You don’t.” “Don’t want?” “Have a sex addiction.” “Oh, good. I mean, I didn’t think I did. I kind of get mad when people think I do or try and say I do. I think that goes back to how society has conditioned us to think about things like promiscuity and sexual liberation and freedom. For instance, I’m gay and I take on this effeminate role sometimes either by cross dressing or with Erwin letting him be daddy, there is so much more, and I think that how I am perceived really upsets other people looking in who are more traditional or rather, close minded. They, the world and mostly men, want to control women and their bodies. That’s a fact and we see it play out in politics all the time. I may be a man but when I take on a role that women are supposed to fill in my relationship, I really hate even saying that they’re supposed to fill it because we should all do whatever we want and not have these stupid expectations, they think they should be able to control me, too. I become sexualized and I have the double whammy of somehow becoming lesser in their opinions because I gave up my masculine power and overall “betterness” over the “weaker” sex. It’s like they can’t understand why a man would want to be anything less than the definition of what a man is. And that’s more like who Erwin is and you never see people treat him the way people treat me or have treated me because when they find out he’s gay they are stumped and can’t even imagine it.” David wrote something down, “That’s a very astute observation and I do agree. Hence why if you had a problem you would not be this transparent, reflective, and open about it. Denial is a key trait in most addictions and sex addiction is a serious problem. I know you lead a healthy life and it doesn’t impact you or your partners way of living.”

”You reminded me of someone else when we were discussing this topic and I was wondering if there was anything from your childhood that might have influenced this physical and sexual side of you and how it’s progressed into the very fabric of your person. Perhaps, something that was suppressing you, a person who naturally seems to be a more physically affectionate person, and has thus led to this sexually commanding and confidant person?” Armin had been thinking a lot about his childhood. There were a lot of things that he’d been remembering that were rarely good but there was this one part that stood out to him. “I’ll share it here but the other person…it was Levi wasn’t it?” David kept writing, “Perhaps. But, I won’t share things about him like that. It’s for him to share, not me.” “But, you went through it, too. You did and for longer.” “I did….and for longer.” “Religion can really fuck someone up, can’t it?” “Yes, yes it can.”

****************

Armin and David got back to the house late, the weather just then getting to the worst of it. Armin walked into his room watching as the rain slid down the glass and into the darkness of the night. He changed, oversized shirt and shorts his normal uniform and he pulled out something he’d kept hidden among his personal things for years walking into the hallway and in to Levi’s study. Erwin and Eren were out finding food for dinner and for the rest of the hectic week. Tonight Levi would leave and head to Hanji’s for the week. Mikasa’s sewing machine could be heard outside the hallway echoing on the wooden floor. Armin heard David’s voice buzz above it, deeper and thicker than the high hollow buzz of needle and bobbin.

Levi looked up as the door opened, “Shefeleh.” He nodded putting his book down. Levi was dressed comfortably too. His olive green shirt and black cargo pants were loose and flattering on him.”I wanted to tell you something and I think that I need to do this to work past something that David and I were talking about. You might benefit from it as well.” Armin moved forward cautiously as Levi’s eyes took him in, “Spit it out, brat.” Armin stepped closer until he was at the edge of the desk. His hair pulled back loosely and falling around his face. He looked down at Levi before beginning.

“When I was growing up I was taught that sexual urges were the devil’s doing and that all things of that matter or subject were to be avoided. Procreation was necessary for some but to abstain from it was the best course of action least we all fall from grace and into the clutches of the waiting devil. My parents failed this and had me, a sign of shame to them and another sheep to add to the flock in this twisted cycle where people are born to save souls yet abstain from what makes us most soulful. I was told that as long as I stayed pure there would be a seat for me in heaven at the table of the lord.”

Levi’s eyes flickered with a lifetime’s worth of similar teachings, “But as you know, children hit puberty and things like morality become harder to understand with such conflicting hormones and then often in the darkness of sleep your body betrays you. They normally tied us to the bed so we didn’t touch ourselves at night but sometimes things just happen. I remember the first time I did it without knowing and I felt so betrayed by my own body. Public shaming and physical punishments were commonplace in the strict Lutheran sect my parents were a part of. You know that this strict German Lutheran tradition is one of the theories that some scholars have offered as cause of the Holocaust, because this shame and punishment, black and white mentality bred the generation that would go on to start and live through WWI and then later take control in WWII.”

Levi did know this was a theory and he did see the merit of it when presented by some academics. He also knew that it was from this tradition that the Reiss family had built their cult. “I was found by my parents one morning having spilled my seed unknowingly in my sleep. They took me to the church where I was made to tell the preacher of my sins. It was rumored I was a homosexual so they took this as the opportunity to kill two birds with one stone and hopefully make such an impression on me that I never acted on those impure thoughts either. They made me wear a sign that said, “He who spills his seed has committed murder.” I was then beaten by the clergy and then the public. I was ten, about to be eleven, remember. This was right before I got very sick. Anyway, I wasn’t the only child this had ever happened to so after I was sufficiently punished they tried to “make up” for it and finished it off the way they always do.” 

Armin reached into his pocket and pulled out something that caught Levi’s eyes immediately. He was familiar with this practice though it wasn’t something Jews did or ever did to his knowledge. “They tied a white ribbon around my arm that I had to wear publically till they considered my pure again. It sometimes lasted up to a year. I’d seen it go longer with another boy who was older than me.” Levi took the slick white satin ribbon between his fingers as Armin sat on the desk looking down at him with his large blue eyes. The door downstairs clicked open and they heard the booming laughter of Eren and Erwin with bags overflowing with food for the week. Levi leaned up closer than necessary to Armin. Their noses grazing. He took the ribbon and tied a bow around Armin’s pony tail, full and pretty. It shown in the light as Levi admired it, “This Wednesday I’ll expect you at Hanji’s promptly.” Armin turned to meet his gaze, barely an inch between their lips, “When?” Levi stared, “Five O’clock.” His voice was a low purr. It was a promise of punishment if late. Armin bit his bottom lip, “Yes, sir.” 

***********************

”Baby, wake up.” The next morning Erwin found himself cuddled up next to a sleeping Armin who was now thrashing due to some nightmare, “Baby!” Armin’s eyes opened, wide, and full of tears that threatened to overflow, “What?” His voice was meek and scared, “What’s wrong, Erwin?” Erwin held him closer, _poor baby._ “You were having a nightmare.” “Oh, ohhh.” “Yeah, you wanna talk about it.” “N-no not really right now. I don’t really know what was going on to be honest.” “You have night terrors.” “I do?” “Yeah, Levi gets them too. That’s how I know. You’ll get so upset and I’ll wake up and try to soothe you but you never remember.” “Do I wake up and talk to you?” “Kind of. You just cry and I hold you till you relax.” “Awww Erwin that’s so nice of you. You do that?” 

Erwin felt himself fill with pride as he preened at the praise, “Of course, I have to take care of my baby.” Erwin pulled Armin closer, “So, today is Eren’s party but that’s not till this afternoon.” Armin snuggled into Erwin’s chest, “Yeah. I’m excited to do whatever he wants to do.” Erwin was excited to go with Mike to look at places in the neighboring city and even towards Montgomery to look at some very special things. Armin’s nose wrinkled as he rolled his hips into Erwin playfully, “I should thank you properly for being so attentive to me.” Erwin smirked, “Please do.” Armin disappeared beneath the sheets as Erwin enjoyed his good Samaritan’s award. 

Not to be out done he returned the favor while Armin and he showered. Armin’s mood had been markedly improved as of late and he had David to thank for that and perhaps also the fact that Levi and Armin were closer than ever. Levi seemed much more relaxed lately that when he was alone with Erwin he smiled, laughed, he even indulged Erwin when he wanted to hold him and dote on him. Eren was easy like he was. He let Erwin be as affectionate as he wanted and Eren in turn was open and free with him. 

When Armin was brushing his hair and drying it he stepped out. Eren’s party would begin shortly and he had a small gift. Bourekas, Baklava, Turkish coffee and tea, fruit, honey of all types, and kichlach were all being delivered as he walked down and opened the door clad in his gym shorts. He had them set it up in one of the spare rooms he’d had decorated as a surprise. He’d figured out what Eren was doing and took some liberties. It was a gift that he knew would be appreciated. 

Once set up he closed the door and went to find Eren. “Eren?” Eren was still in bed, face drawn up and a bit sad looking, “Eren, are you okay?” He rolled over, “I miss Levi.” Erwin couldn’t help but chuckle, “It’s been one night and this was your idea.” “I know but he took Donner.” “You have Isi.” “Isi misses Donner and has been going outside more. I…” “What?” “I kinda wanna fence the yard in.” “Really?” “Yeah.” “To keep a deer from being…a deer.” “Isi is too innocent for the world.” “Eren, you should let Isi grow and then rejoin-“ Eren’s lip quivered silencing Erwin, “I’ll see what a rod iron fence will cost to have put up. That way we’ll stay historical and maybe…” “Levi just will let it go?” “Yeah.” “Thanks Erwin.” He flashed a breath taking smile rolling off the bed to tackle him. Erwin just huffed and then hugged him back patting his back, “I have a surprise for your party and it’s in the spare room near Marco and Jean. That’s where you should have it. In that specific room, okay?” Erwin smiled when Eren gave him an innocently confused look, “You got me a surprise? Am I moving up in the Armin category?” “Maybe.” 

Armin entered, “I’ll seriously cut you. That is my main privilege. I’m favored wife, you’re just a member of the harem.” Eren smirked looking around Erwin’s massive form to see Armin who had a playfully serious look on his face, “Well, if I bare him a son and strangle any you have with a satin ribbon then I’ll move right on past you.” Armin clicked his tongue behind his teeth stifling a pleased and coy smile, “I’ll always suck cock better than you, sweetheart.” “Should we have a contest?” “Maybe after you get re-hitched.” “Deal.” Erwin flushed, “Woah, okay. Well….this old man is going to head out so as to not cramp your style. Mike and I are going to look at some fields he might purchase for cattle and we’re gunna look at some horses.” Armin pouted, “Daddy, when will you get back?” Erwin hugged him to his side, “I’ll be back late tonight, baby doll. I’m going to have dinner with Mike and Hanji.” “And Levi?” “And Levi.” “Well, I guess be safe and I’ll see you later.” Armin leaned up kissing Erwin before he let him go.

When it was just the two of them Eren and Armin looked from one another to the door. “Wanna snoop in their office?” Eren gave him a wicked smile, “Of course.” ****************** 

It was only an hour before the party would begin and after picking the office apart both boys sat on the couch exhausted. Armin looked over to Eren, “Find anything?” “Nope.” “Me neither.” “Wait…you know what look at that.” “Look at what? The bookshelf?” “Yeah, Levi hides money in places all around the house.” “No way! Erwin does that, too.” “He puts stuff between book pages.” “Oh God, we don’t have time. We’d have to do it after the party.” “Unless…what are some of their favorite books?” “Ummm they read a lot.” “They do….damn.” “Fucking smarty mcsmarties.” “You’re a smarty mcsmarty.” “Well, Erwin likes western movies books so maybe Don Quixote?” “And Levi like Borschert.” “Really?” “Really.” “I love Borchert.” “You and he have similar tastes, it’s true. I like those western ones. Hahaha” “We are finely matched. Anything they purchased together?” 

Both boys looked ahead and at the same time said, “Kafka.”

****************

Eren and Armin were very excited about the surprise in the spare room. It turned out to be more than they ever expected and once everyone was there Eren excitedly told them that they’d all be getting henna for his wedding. It was a tradition in Judaism he found to be beautiful and since it was also to be a bonding experience he thought having his party members do it with him would make it even more memorable.

The women who came were through Rabbi Berkovitch and one had even done a special design for Eren since it was his wedding. She was a beautiful Muslim woman with expressive brown eyes very similar to Marco’s and she delighted him with stories from her time in Turkey and the Middle East as she moved from place to place before her father settled them in the south where he remained a student of the Quran and opened a gas station much to the humor of his community. Eren found it humorous too and promised her that he’d have go by when he was in Montgomery.

Armin enjoyed the delicate design on his hands and then his arms and shoulders. Eren wanted him to have his own special design as well since he was the best man. Mikasa was who every one fawned over as her beauty shown even more with the red ink. Sasha giggled as she received hers, sneaking snacks while talking animatedly to Mikasa. Marco came late but sat near Armin much to his delight. “Jean is working his ass off and I’m feelin’ really burnt out due to your man.” He said it with a huff whistling as he removed his tennis shoes. Armin smirked, “What’s my man havin’ you do?” “Speed up certain chapters of the book. My god, I was told this was for personal use, not something they were going to publish. Not to mention Yvonne and Oulu have been fucking weird lately.” Armin popped a grape in his mouth, “Oooh do tell.” “It’s just some weird shit like, they want me to start working and submitting for the site and I’m flattered but they seem to be wanting to shift the responsibilities on to me.” “Like, make you partner?” “Yea, I am so flattered but damn…” “That’s a leap of faith for someone still in school.” “YEAH and Jean is a little concerned but he hasn’t said that explicitly.” “Why?” “We’ve been working so much and with school it’s been a little hard to coordinate our schedules. We just sleep sometimes in the same bed and we haven’t spent any real time together. I’m worried he’s….what if he’s not happy?”

”Oh Marco, don’t say such things.” “No, Armin really. I’m scared. What if I don’t make him happy? What if we got burned out on all this and Jean isn’t satisfied with the downtime we do have? He’s been very aloof recently and I know that’s because we worried that his mother had cancer, before we found out it was Carla, and then the book just nearly tore us apart with deadline stress and then there is the wedding and that’s more of a pressure to maybe do something or not do something. It really makes us think since y’all are getting so locked in and serious about y’alls future. I don’t know. I’m really kind of upset and stressed out myself.” Armin felt bad that his happiness was making them feel like that. He loved Marco and wanted he and Jean to be the happiest they could be. “It’ll be fine. I promise.” Marco nodded but he was still unsure, “Okay. I’ll try and relax.”

Armin excused himself to go to the bathroom. Most of his henna was completed. It was really nice and not the cheap fake kind people get on vacation. He marveled at it a bit in the mirror before sitting down on the toilet and pulling his phone out of his shorts. 

*****************

**Baby: Daddy, how much do you love me?**

**Daddy: More than anything. Why?**

**Baby: You know how you say you’ll do anything to make me happy?**

**Daddy: What do you desire? I’ll make it happen.**

**Baby: Instead of us going after the wedding to Nashville can we send Marco and Jean in our place?**

**Daddy: Done.**

**Baby: I’ll explain later and I love you so much.**

**Daddy: I love you, my beautiful and wonderful succulent.**

**Baby: Every day I become more and more convinced you are my soul mate, my handsome and strong prince charming.**

Erwin slid his phone into his pocket in the warehouse, “Damn…I really wanted to go to Nashville.” Mike chuckled slapping a hand on his back, “You’re so sweet on him it’s crazy.” *********************** 

Back at his father’s house they unloaded a few boxes of feed for the horses and carried them in to the garage. It was late and almost time to eat. Mike’s stomach made a noise prompting the men to fall into giggles as they entered the house. Hanji was finishing up some paper work in the office. They had returned it to a similar state as his father had kept it and it did him well to see it like that. “Hello Hanji,” they put their papers down removing their glasses, “how are you?” Hanji smiled laughing softly while stretching in the leather chair, “Good, good, good, you know? Levi’s upstairs napping if you wanna wake him up. I’ll start dinner.” They stood rustling papers together and then hugging Erwin. “What are you cooking?” 

Hanji stopped humming, “Mmm something….edible….” Erwin laughed, “Well, that sounds lovely.” Mike snorted walking into the kitchen, “Spicy southern chicken spaghetti and peach cobbler.” Hanji giggled, “I guess that’s what I’m making.” Erwin grinned, “He picks and you cook?” “Exactly. It works well. Till Mike I just ate take out and frozen meals. Levi cooked and I mean….I had science to do. Lucky for me it wasn’t because I couldn’t cook or Mike probably wouldn’t be here. Though, he prefers Levi’s cooking to mine.” Mike popped a beer cap off and it clattered to the floor echoing, “Levi’s got the Midas touch but Han, you’re just a good honestly.” Hanji’s eyes sparkled as they raised their hands clutching their shoulders in glee, “AAAAAAWWWWW my bunny honey you are so sweet to me.” Erwin burst into laughter as Mike smiled rolling his eyes.

”I’ll see if Levi’s awake. I might lay down, though. I’m kind of tired.” Hanji and Mike entered the kitchen before Mike yelled back, “You got about an hour or less I’d say.” Erwin nodded climbing the stairs. He figured that Levi had taken the room that his mother had painted before she died. The walls were sage with a scene of white lilies around a large Rowan tree with expansive branches that touched the walls symbolically. Erwin opened the door finding the satin white curtains somewhat closed and the large wooden bed with its lush white sheets in the center of the room. Upon the bed lay a familiar form.

Levi’s bare skin looked like iridescent shimmers moving over opal stones. He was on his stomach, faced turned to the windows. He looked peaceful and beautiful and that made Erwin’s heart swell with pride. He only wanted Levi to be happy and healthy and safe. He approached the bed hearing a low growl, “Why are you here?” Erwin stopped, _always the same, Lee,_ “I’ve come to see you, my love.” Levi turned to look over his shoulder at him, “Fuck off.” Erwin smirked before taking his shoes and jeans off flopping on the bed. More growls followed as he moved closer into Levi’s personal space.

”Lee, why are you so cranky?” He wrapped his arms around a non-committal Levi, “I’d like to be left alone.” “Really?” “Really.” “I hear your request and I deny it.” Levi snorted and he could feel the eye roll, “Of course. You’re a corrupt man.” Erwin nuzzled the back of his neck leaving kisses. “Horney corrupt old man who doesn’t take no for an answer. You disgust me.” Erwin continued to kiss and then bite gently around the area of his kisses. Levi’s back twitched, inked feathers of his wings shifting shape as his muscles contracted. “I’m sorry,” his voice was sarcastic, “is your sexual deviant not keeping you satisfied?” Erwin smirked against his skin chuckling, “Oh, he is but I’ve missed you since our last trist before Gatlinburg.” 

Levi broke away turning his face to the side Erwin was on. Erwin laid his head on the pillow looking at him and waiting for his response. Levi seemed to consider something before his eyes became innocent and wide, “Erwin?” _Ohhhh fuck. I’m not a smart man. I know that look and that voice. I’m such a stupid man._ “Yes?” Levi arched his back, sheet falling away more to reveal his toned bare ass, “Would you let me drink your blood?” _What the fuck even, Lee? What the actual fuck?_ “Um, no. I don’t like that and I don’t find that attractive or…appealing.” Levi scooted closer, “But, what if I was a vampire?” _whaaaaat?_ “You’re not, though.” Levi bit his bottom lip peering up at him thought his lashes. _God, yes. Why do have to get so weird? Just stay cute and sullen._ “But Erwin,” he said softly capturing his attention before whispering, “I want to be a vampire.” Levi got up rolling him over on his back and straddling his waist.

His hands splayed open on Erwin’s chest as he looked down on him. Erwin’s hands slid up his thighs as he watched Levi’s predatory gaze. He never knew what to expect from such a feral creature, “Does Eren know you’re this weird?” “I don’t let it out as much, sp no. I don’t know how he’d take it.” “You should. Well, I take that back.” “Why?” “Because I like that this is something you reserve for me.” “Then I’ll be sure to start only doing it only with him.” “You’re so fucking cruel.” “I am what I am. You don’t deserve better.” Erwin smiled ruefully, “Can I try and prove my worth?” Levi’s chuckle was dark and devious as his eyes wrinkled around the corners, “I think it’s funny you always think you’re going to top.” 

Erwin flipped Levi back on his stomach winding him with surprise before he reached back slapping Erwin, “We don’t have time for that. Dinner will be ready soon.” Erwin huffed dejectedly, “How do you know that?” “I have ears, shithead. Hanji is like a blow horn in a monastery.” “But, Lee….I want you.” “I didn’t say no.” “But, I want…” “I can suck you off.” “No, I’ve already had that today.” _I am fucking stupid._ “Oh, really? Get out.” “LEE!” “Lube?” “I don’t live here. I have no idea.” Levi rummaged around in the side table, “Found some.” “Thank God.” Levi looked at tube in his hand frowning, “This isn’t that sexy anymore.”

Erwin pouted, “I can try and make it hot?” Levi’s eyes narrowed, “You said that as a question, you know.” Erwin took the lube in his hands, “Give me a chance.” Erwin moved forward as Levi’s face said it all; He highly doubted that but then Erwin was there, his eyes burning, smirk growing as he saw Levi ebb, his hands grabbed around him and then he was down, pinned again beneath the heavy form. His neck was attacked by hard bites and bruising suckling and kissing. His legs brutally forced apart by Erwin’s sturdy thigh, a hand trailing between them and between his legs.

Levi gave in, if he wanted him then that was fine. He wanted this too. His hands tangled in his short blood high and tight hair, yanking at the roots and pulling out groan after guttural groan as his lips moved with fervor against Erwin’s. Their hot pants filled the silent rooms and Levi felt the cool slick fingers enter him. He bit Erwin’s lip when the intrusion became a hot uncomfortable burn. Erwin nearly came as Levi’s body snapped up against him over and over, twisting and turning, rubbing his erection just the right way before he added another finger. Levi starting fighting back in his own right, something he and Erwin had always enjoyed in their sex. They liked it rough, they liked it passionate, hot, desperate, quick and animalistic. 

Erwin took Levi quickly as Levi’s hands pounded into his chest, cupped the corners and edges of his body, teeth scrapped and tore, and lips parted and closed. Whines escaped both men as they tangled together like wolves fighting over alpha dominance. Levi’s nails left bloody trails down Erwin’s now unclothed back. When had Levi ripped it off of him? He was glad he did. Erwin was a marvel of the human form. 

Sex was never boring and it was never plain. Erwin flipped Levi with much effort over and back on his stomach slamming back in to him as Levi actively fought against him. He lifted his hips with one hand and the other made its way inside of Levi’s mouth which was still firmly pressed into the mattress keeping him pinned down and vulnerable as Erwin attacked the nape of his neck with his mouth. Levi’s eyes rolled back, he gave in to it, let Erwin do what he wanted because he wanted to be treated like this by him. He tortured him all the time withholding any affection and alone he was as sassy and snarky as possible. It kept things hot like this between them. He loved this man and he loved their relationship even if he didn’t say it that often. 

Levi came with a flash of white hot heat over his body, nerves tingling, skin flushed, lungs burning from heavy breathing. Erwin’s moan was low and primal and Levi worried that Mila would wake next door because it was so loud. Despite their exchange they’d managed to keep the noise down somewhat. For Levi, this was a victory. Erwin could always coax sounds out of him that no one else could and he always left him feeling so tired like after a good spar. There was a knock at the door, Hanji’s voice, “Stop fucking and come eat.” Levi closed his eyes grinning as he let out a small huff of a laugh. 

Downstairs the food was hot and Levi and the others made their plates before returning to the informal dining room near the living room. Levi sat, long sleeve white shirt and black gym shorts next to Erwin who didn’t even have the decency to put his short or pants back on. Mike grinned, “At least someone is getting laid.” He mentioned it under his breath. Levi thought that was odd, “Are you not?” Mike shrugged, “It’s just one of those lulls. Work, kid, stress from other things.” Hanji appeared with their plate as Mike finished his beer. “I’ll check on Mila is a little bit. She’s probably still asleep or at least chillin’ in her crib since her beloved uncle Levi decided to perform such devious acts next to her room.”

They ate in familiar silence with the occasional comment. Levi enjoyed this. It was so reminiscent of the days before when it was just the four of them all together. But then he thought about those viridian eyes and that goofy smile. That dog like personality that got so excited to tell him things and did everything to gain his praise and love. It was so stupid, honestly. Eren wanted so much for Levi to be proud of him and think so highly of him and in truth, Levi didn’t even deserve Eren’s attention. He was a shining star, a beacon of light and purity, he was love, he was life, and Levi was awkward and dark and cold. Levi felt so lucky to have such a wonderful husband and partner and he would do his best to keep him happy.

Mike went to get Mila who appeared with messy brown curls, sleepy eyes, and a cute little black cotton dress. She rubber her eyes and upon seeing Erwin held her arms out for him wounding Levi. He wanted her to want him which was really selfish but he didn’t care. She buried her face shyly in Erwin’s shoulder as he chuckled. “God,” Erwin said with a smile and a fond tone, “I want this so much.” Levi grinned, “I know. It’s so odd isn’t it?” “Yeah, oh to have like…three of these would be great.” Levi barked a laugh, “Ha, why stop at three? I want a squad.” “I meant three right now of my own. I could handle a litter but I don’t know about Armin.” “Yeah, I don’t know if Eren is down for that. They’re so young.” “I know. We’re so old.” 

Mike and Hanji kept eating.

**************

Eren and Armin lay together is Levi's room with the TV light casting a low glow on them in between the sheets. Eren stroked Armin's hair, whose head was on his chest and small hand tightly balled in his shirt. Eren enjoyed the silence between them and the calm. He'd been thinking a lot lately, something Jean had mocked last they spoke. He wanted to finish school, he wanted to have a job at the hospital for small animals, he wanted to contribute money to his relationship that was his own, he wanted to make Levi happier every day and learn more about him, and he wanted to have a child with him. He wanted one and he never thought he'd ever feel like that. 

He joked about children and become a Jewish yentl that nagged and gave out kelechs to his grandchildren but he'd actually never really wanted it on his own. He thought his animals would be his babies and that was good enough for him. He was afraid that his tendency to be so strong willed, manic, and awkward when it came to understanding other's feelings would hinder him. It took him forever to figure out Mikasa had feelings for him when they were just entering high school. He liked Armin still and that also opened another door to how firmly rooted his sexuality was and how it felt wrong to entertain her because they were adopted legally. He was glad with the infatuation passed, flattered, but glad. And then there was Jean. 

Jean who is now in a healthy committed relationship working his ass off, snippy and arrogant as always. He met with him for coffee again the other day and saw a disheartening sight: clean hands and clothes free of paint, groomed hair, scabs on his arms and neck, and then there was the emaciated look of his face. Jean often forgot to eat while working. He also had this OCD tendency where he became obsessed with his hygiene and that led to him picking at "impurities" on his skin. His arms and neck got rhe worse of it and he'd pick and pick until it bled. Sometimes, even scour his pore with tweezers. He was an odd man, tightly wound when he really believed something, quick to anger, and then when he really was pushed past the brink he became unsure and self deprecating. He told Eren how he was worried that Marco was unhappy, how he was stressed with a new commission from an unknown patron. He thought it might have been Levi but now he wasn't so sure. Erwin and Levi were blunt and they asked and paid for what they wanted. 

Eren listened without interrupting as Jean went on for a good two hours about how he felt and about his restless tiredness. Could it even be possible that one could be restless and yet extremely exhausted? He didn't know and he didn't think he'd ever know. Eren had felt like that often. He'd felt like that with Jean and asked if that meant that Marco and he were going to break up. Jean blanched and threw a chair at him. He threw one back. They were upset with each other, they fought it out and paid for the damages and dealt with their photos being hung in the new coffee shop downtown. Jean made a snide remark about how they should have opened an air B and B instead of this reused hipster cultural expression. Eren snorted with laughter as they flicked them off.

"Does Levi know about the baby in the womb?" Armin's small sleepy voice broke his concentration. "No, please don't tell him." "Can I use it?" "The womb!?" "Yeah, I want a baby with Erwin." "Like....now?" "Yep. I'm ready. Well, as ready as I can be. I've been thinking about it a lot. I think that selfishly it'll give me a family member that I can love and cherish and I won't dare raise it like I was. It'll give Erwin a family member and he wants kids so badly that it'll be satisfying that aspect of his goals in life, husband, father, retired bad ass." Both boys giggled at the thought. "I also really want a child to love and watch grow. Mila isn't mine but being around her really made me think critically about it. We keep her a few nights and I loved it. I mean, waking up and being a slave to diapers isn't great but she's so young and already teaching me things I never thought I'd ever want to learn. I wanted to die alone and end this cycle of Arlert fucked-up-ness." Eren held him tighter, "Even if we had been together together?" He was very curious, "we wouldn't have had a kid?"

Armin moved his lips slowly across Eren's shirt, "You know you would have just wanted furbabies." It was a quiet answer, "Maybe if I had begged.....maybe but only if I had begged, Eren. You would have loved me enough, do love me a enough. But it would have always been awkward because you'd have been so scared of them. I don’t think you think you’re good enough to be a father." Eren knew it was true, "I think I always need a partner that's more the mother than me." Armin huffed, "Interesting." "Why Interesting?" Armin shrugged smiling slightly, "Just is."

The door clicked open as Erwin entered. He found them together and smiled, "My, my, doesn't this look comfortable?" Armin and Eren looked up as Erwin waved and left. "Did he just leave?" Eren asked perplexed, "Hashtag wut? Hashtag RUDE." Armin giggled, "He's probably going to take a shower and change. But, honestly, I want to do it after we get married. I want to use the womb." Eren gritted his teeth, "But I have no idea if Levi and Erwin will be okay with it!" Armin hummed, "You don't think it'd be ever better to surprise them like normal people do. Hey honey we're having a child?" "I don't know. Also..... I kind of want to use it." "Oh." "Yeah." "Well, we can flip a coin or you can build another womb you know like you did for the animals." "Actually.....yeah.....I can do that...." “I would like for them to be close in age so that they will be close and know each other.” The door opened a few minutes later. Both boys quietly thinking.

Erwin leaned over kissing Armin and Eren, "Did you two have a good party? I can see your skin is decorated beautifully." Eren and Armin grinned, "Thank you for the things you provided, daddy. It made it all the more fun." Eren nodded, "I was speechless." Erwin felt good, really good. "Any time, honey. What are we watching?" They both shrugged. He took the remote finding something to change the channel to as they all enjoyed a sleepy relaxing night.

*************

Armin walked into the office finding Erwin writing away on his day planner. "Baby doll," he mumbled deep in thought, "Sweden calls me." Armin put one of their encyclopedias back on the shelf, "It does? That hussy!" Erwin snickered, "Wanna go after the wedding? We can stay and meet up with David and Mikasa and eventually make our way down to France or head to the Ukraine and meet up with Levi and Eren there." "I loooooove that idea. Erwin, lemme ask you something." "Anything." Armin walked over to the couch sitting down cross legged, "Are you keeping secrets from me?" 

_I am so fucked._ "I feel trapped." "Well, you are dear." "Ummm no. My answer right now is no." Armin put a white thick envelope on the table. Erwin sighed, "Armin.....will you....hear what I am about to say and just.... think on it." Armin nodded, "Yeah. Okay." "Just let this be until after August, okay? Just let it stay like this and after August it'll all be on the table. We're not going to lie or hide anything from you and Eren but we just need to discuss it at the right time. It isn't the right time. Please. Just leave it alone till after our wedding. Please, for me, Armin." Armin traced the edge of the corner feeling the sharp edge, "I guess." He didn't really want to leave it alone, "But it must be bad." Erwin nodded rocking in his chair, "Yeah so let’s be happy for a long time and forget this till we're ready to handle it." Armin took the envelop and put it back between the tomes of Kafka. This metamorphosis could wait.


	63. Hurt me, sir.

Levi was waiting near the door. Hanji and Mike were arguing softly in the kitchen. He was upset but there wasn’t anything he could do about it. Mike was considering the move to Colorado and Hanji wanted nothing to do with it. Mike had whispered venomously, “You just want to stay here so you can be by Levi. God, Hanji, that’s so fucked up and you know it. You won’t admit it but it’s true!” Levi wasn’t feeling good about anything going on in the conversation right now and Donner whimpered next to his leg. He looked at his watch and frowned.

It was now 4:59 and Armin was nowhere to be seen. Hanji was feeding Mila as they continued to argue that “Levi was a big reason to stay but not the only one.” He really didn't know what those other reasons were but he'd like to. 5:00 and still the door was silent. He considered walking back in to the kitchen and just screaming. This was the kind of shit he put up with his entire life. People fighting and not getting along. Couples quarreling over stupid shit that didn't really matter and the doing it in front of Mila even though she was so young...it pissed him off. It pissed him so off and he wanted to scream. He didn’t tolerate that shit and he and Eren never fought like that. When they did argue it was short and they weren’t parents. He'd never ever make his child feel that helpless nagging weight that they couldn't do anything to stop or help their parent's situation. 5:01 and the door became a portal to the other world. 5:02 and then a knock. Levi ripped the door open, pissed off that they were late and uncomfortable with the oppression in the house. He opened his mouth to say something snarky but it died. He nearly died at the sight before him. 

The two times Armin had cross dressed in Gatlinburg he’d had a hard time concentrating or breathing. He'd felt like a perverted old man the way he looked at Armin and wanted Armin. Now, those were nothing compared to now. [Armin](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/7e/34/32/7e343211e638db741786930553a0916f.jpg) must have known that this would get the biggest rise out of him and that he'd never be able to keep his hands off of him. He wanted to take him and stretch him across his lap and play with him for hours. He wanted to dominate him and violate, penetrate, consecrate, and fuck him like an animal in heat. 

Armin's cute pink lips curled up deviously as he cocked his head to the side taunting Levi with the curve of his neck. His hands covered in maroon lace designs that made Levi weak, "Are you going to punish me or just stand there?" Levi let out a strangled breath, "You tempt fate." "I just want you to hurt me." "I am going to wreck you, mami." Mami was a promise, a purr, a devotional, a candle of hot passion. Mami was them and mami would be their end.

Levi took his waist pulling him towards his car. His fingers stroked the slim form before squeezing strongly. He couldn’t be too rough with him since the wedding was only days away and makeup would be a hassle. Why couldn't this have happened sooner? Why couldn't they have met sooner? Why did it always feel like they had but never got to be together like this? Happy and unthreatened.

He placed Armin in his seat before shutting the door. His mind swam with visions of pushing him in the back seat, tying him up with the buckles, and roughly exploring him. He felt sick, sort of. He didn't dwell on it long enough to care because Armin's hand was on his thigh as they drove to the city. They listened to music in silence acutely aware of the energy between them. This was so dangerous and so exciting. This was love.

*************

They pulled up to the concert venue which was an open air amp theater. [Levi ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/2e/11/c6/2e11c6a17d53b9dd5aa53f1e92b487e1.jpg)was dressed appropriately but he took one look at Armin’s heels and made a tch noise, “How you gunna stand in those for the next two hours?” Armin smirked pulling them off, “I brought flats, sir.” He smiled sliding them on as Levi’s hand darted down to capture his calf. He slid his hand around the muscle and up his thigh to his dress hem. His fingers darted under the boundary feeling the baby smooth skin.

Armin leaned back against the seat stretching upwards as Levi leaned over into his space whispering, “What are you wearing underneath here?” His voice was husky and playful, “Nothing?” Armin’s mouth was still the same smirk, “Of course I’m [wearing](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/46/a1/9f/46a19f82ea5df749f8a01c91748c2386.jpg) the appropriate attire. I heard you like lace.” Levi wanted to eat him whole, “Can I see?” Armin giggled quietly, “Afterwards.” Levi didn’t want t wait, “No.” Armin smirked more, “Then look all you want, sir.” His hands pushed the dress up over his thighs and hips and around his stomach revealing the black lace panties. Levi felt himself start to drool as he admired what was before him.

His hand teased the corners of the intimate article, tips of his fingers sneaking inside the corners to brush satin skin. It was when his thumb should have rubbed over something and it didn’t that it gave him pause. “Where is your?” Armin huffed a laugh, “I tucked it to the back. There’s not a lot of options when you’re in a dress like this. Do you like that?” He grinned like a Cheshire cat, “You can have the best of both words if you want, sir.” Levi’s blood quickened as he surged forward capturing Armin’s lips, assaulting them, bruising them, and crushing them to his own. Armin made a choked noise in the back of his throat, his hands flew up to tangle in Levi’s hair as they savagely engaged in a war of pants and moans. 

Armin tasted like pomegranate seeds from the beginning of time, the beginning of humanity, the beginning of his tribe. He felt like a fox, wily, strong, deceivingly petite, and his fur a luxury to caress with his own long lithe harp worthy fingers. Armin teased him, excited him, met him with equal talents when it came to his kisses. He left him breathless. _How similar we are, shefeleh. _Armin whined almost feral as Levi’s hand massaged between his legs on his sensitive pubic bone. He knew Levi found women attractive, his well known love for the mysterious Mila Pfefferberg being prime evidence. He wondered just how good he could have made him feel had he been one? He’d definitely have fallen in love with him.__

Levi nipped at Armin’s lip pulling away as Armin pushed him forward and further away from him. “We’ve,” he panted in the now too hot car, “got to go inside.” Armin smirked with his eyes closed. When he opened them meeting Levi’s gaze he continued, “We can play after.” His hand on the handle made Levi want to growl as he watched him slink out onto the gravel parking lot with his tight ass accented by the dark grey fabric. Levi was so hard he whimpered getting out.

***************

” Eine halbe Tasse Staubzucker Ein Viertel Teelöffel Salz Eine Messerspitze türkisches Haschisch Ein halbes Pfund Butter Ein Teelöffel Vanillenzucker Ein halbes Pfund Mehl Einhundertfünfzig Gramm gemahlene Nüsse Ein wenig extra Staubzucker ... und keine Eier In eine Schüssel geben Butter einrühren Gemahlene Nüsse zugeben und Den Teig verkneten Augenballgroße Stücke vom Teig formen Im Staubzucker wälzen und Sagt die Zauberwörter Simsalbimbamba Saladu Saladim Auf ein gefettetes Backblech legen und Bei zweihundert Grad für fünfzehn Minuten backen und KEINE EIER Bei zweihundert Grad für fünfzehn Minuten backen und Keine Eier ..“

Levi was alive, the crowd was alive, he let his anxiety melt away and he lost himself in the wash of colors as the lights and lasers filled space and sky above them was so black, black like endless waters, cool soothin’ water, pulling you down, down, down, into the undertow of it all and then it would swing you back ‘round again till you were kicking and screaming and bleeding and breathing being born again into the cycle of humanity. He felt them touch him. He felt his blood call out from beneath the ground, the cold hard ground where they were and some were still in the air. In the air, where they’d floated across the world from ovens and pits, landing in and on things, things like people. How many pieces of people did he carry in his lungs?

Armin’s hand pulled on his shirt hem, lips found their way to his neck, teeth teasing and nipping, his tongue, pointed at the tip, licked up the flesh tasting the sweat, Levi groaned as Armin bit his earlobe letting out a low sensual moan to tease him, “Can I have some more?” He whispered hotly against him as his thigh pressed against his own. Levi handed him the vile of white powder, “Of course, shefeleh.” He watched him bump before roaming Armin’s body.

” Listen to the tales as we all rationalize  
Our way into the arms of the savior,  
Feigning all the trials and the tribulations;  
None of us have actually been there.  
Not like you.  
Ignorant siblings in the congregation  
Gather around spewing sympathy,  
Spare me.  
None of them can even hold a candle up to you.  
Blinded by choice, these hypocrites won't see.  
But, enough about the collective Judas.  
Who could deny you were the one who  
Illuminated your little piece of the divine?  
And this little light of mine, a gift you passed on to me;  
I'm gonna let it shine to guide you safely on your way,  
Your way home ...”

********************

The hookah bar was alive with patrons. Levi and Armin had a corner booth Armin had reserved just for them. His heels back on and now a deep wine color stain on his lips complimented his baby blues and Levi couldn’t help but trace the shape of his lips with his finger while they waited for their food. They sat next to each other, Armin’s legs crossed exposing more skin and body elegantly draped against Levi’s like a cashmere throw in soft sunlight in a dewy morning’s formal living room. He was giving Levi everything he wanted tonight and the thing was, he wasn’t even trying that hard.

Armin turned to him, “Do you like it? The new tobacco? I really like it.” Levi tried it again, “I think it could be stronger, honestly. I’ve always felt like I’ve been searching for one specific one and I’ll never find it.” Armin’s arm looped through Levi’s while his hand came to rest delicately on his forearm. Plenty of men had tried to steal him away only to have Levi shoot them down with well place murderous glares, “You should make it. It can’t be that hard.” Levi stared at the dance floor feeling odd. Eren tried to build him up often like this, “It’s possible. You should work on it with me.” Armin kissed his cheek, “Mmm I don’t think my daddy would like that.” Levi’s jealous tendencies flared, “Your daddy can fuck himself. Why not?” “You know he doesn’t want me to work.” Levi tch’ed, “He can’t really have said that.” Armin merely stared, “He fucking said that? What do you want?” Armin’s lips made a thin line, “To not talk about it any further tonight.” Levi’s eyebrow raised, “You got me worked up.” Armin breathed against his neck, his tone playful again, “I know I did. Remember that when you stretch me across your lap, bare assed, and moaning. Remember to hit me hard.” Levi could not breath he was so aroused, “But, you know what would actually be better?” “What?” “The Lavie Brothers present: _Canaanite Blues._ A new tobacco that whistles with the sounds of the Kibbutz. If you could make it taste as good as it sounds and even color the smoke I think it would be a hit. Just imagaine, blue smoke coming out of mine and Eren’s mouth as the cloud ghosts over your skin.” Armin’s voice purred as his nose nuzzled the side of Levi face, teeth gently nipping along his jaw.

Levi was floored and marveled at the flawless pitch, “How did you just come up with that? You couldn’t have.” Armin smiled against his skin, whispering, “I’m always thinking about you.” Levi was going to die. “I think Lavie has a good sound and since David also likes the water pipe and is Jewish I thought it’d be a good thing to partner with him on.” Levi was hesitant, “But, we’re not both Lavie.” “Doesn’t matter. It’s just a name and you two feel like brothers and see each other like brothers so what’s the hang up.” Levi sagged in his seat, “Guess there isn’t one. But, you really wont partner with me because you think Erwin will say no?” Armin finished his champagne, “Let’s dance.” And to the floor he drug him in order to keep the night light and seductive.

**********************

It was mad that two souls like theirs had the same set of skills when it came to seduction. Armin’s body moved in time with his own. They held the same degree of intensity when their eyes met. Their lips still only brushing. It made it feel more heightened, more delicious than when they fully devoured one another. Armin’s eyelashes brushed his cheek. Levi’s hands cupped his bottom, fingers searching down the cleft and under the cheeks for his sex. They moved like spirits and those who watched gave pause to them and the sensual expression of their forbidden love.

*********************

In the dirty bathroom Armin’s hands gripped the sink as he stood leaned over watching the tiny drops of water fall from the spotted chrome faucet as the overhead flicker of the one yellowing light bathed the single toilet, single pedestal sink, and toilet paper wrack. Levi sat on the toilet leaned forward, elbow on his knees. Both were soaked in sweat form dancing and the heat of the fast approaching may. 

Armin’s heart beat like a drum and so did Levi’s, “One more line and then take me, take me somewhere Levi.” Levi looked over to the side to see the twitching muscle over Armin’s hamstring, “Two more lines, mami. Two more and then we’ll get somewhere safe.” Armin stood up leaning against the wall as Levi approached him, hands running over his body as he kissed his neck before Armin closed his eyes sinking into Levi’s strong arms.

********************

At the hotel Levi threw money on the counter and got them the best suite they had available. Levi was all business, impenetrable stare, mean disposition. The valet had take their keys with care, scurrying off like they were happy to just not be beaten by him. Armin walked alongside him as the usher bid Mr. and Mrs. Ackermann a good night. Armin smirked, Eren would be alive with fire if he knew someone else was being called Ackermann. 

Inside the chic red accented room Armin felt himself immediately assaulted by hands. He was pushed harshly against the wall as Levi attacked his neck and collar bones. Biting and grabbing anywhere on Armin he could.

” my god sits in the back of the limousine  
my god comes in a wrapper of cellophane  
my god pouts on the cover of the magazine  
my god's a shallow little bitch trying to make the scene”

Armin widened his legs, hands pulling at the roots of Levi’s hair until he groaned from pain and pleasure. He tossed Armin to the floor like a rag doll walking towards him removing his belt from his pants. Armin rolled over on his back submissively biting his lip and peering at him through batted lashes.

” …I am every fucking thing and just a little more  
I sold my soul but don't you dare call me a whore  
and when I suck you off not a drop will go to waste  
it's really not so bad you know once you get past the taste, yeah…”

Levi’s foot toed at the side of Armin’s stomach as he let out a breathy sigh in expectation. The belt hung heavily in Levi’s hands, “What do you want, mami?” Armin’s hands moved down to the hem of his dress lifting it off him, “Hurt me, use me, sir.” Levi grinned wickedly, “So be it.”

” all our pain  
how did you think we'd get by without you?  
you're so vain  
I bet you think this song is about you  
don't you?  
don't you?  
don't you?  
don't you?  
now I belong I'm one of the chosen ones  
now I belong I'm one of the beautiful ones”

Levi admire the lacy panties and bra. He always liked women’s clothes and lingerie and how they looked on others. He couldn’t pull it off, or rather didn’t want to try, and thus enjoyed it on others like Eren and Armin. Erwin had never been into things like that. He let the leather belt slid between Armin’s legs and over his sex and stomach. It drug, heavy and cold leather, across now blushing skin with slight bruising from the days groping like in the crowd of the concert.

“Get on your hands and knees.” Armin did as told while Levi walked over to one of the lounge chairs in the room. White leather cool on his sweat slicked back. He bade Armin crawl over to him and he watched as Armin did so beautifully. He sat back on his haunches as Levi took his face in his hands, fingers stroking through his hair and over his cheek bones and lips. Armin opened his mouth capturing a finger and sucking and lavishing it with affection. Levi groaned internally before smoothing his hand over the side of his face and pulling back. He slapped him sharply on the face, hearing him groan in pleasure as he did it again and again.

Armin leaned closer, eyes glassy and aroused. Levi reached in his pocket revealing a long white silk ribbon. His pupils dilated as he heard the small whimper escape from Armin. He leaned forward reaching around him with the thick ribbon and started tying Armin’s wrist together. He whispered hotly against his ear, soothingly almost, “Morality is what _we_ define it as. No one else, _mami._ ” Armin relaxed, he trusted Levi. Levi kissed his temple sweetly before pulling back and unzipping his pants. He released his hard cock leaving it on display as Armin and he stared intently at each other. 

Levi smirked, “Suck, mami. Make it good. I’m not impressed easily.” Armin gave him the most innocent look as he moved forward looking up at him through his bangs and lashes. He lowered his head licking from base to tip. Levi wasn’t showing any indication whether or not he enjoyed it and he was such a quiet man anyway from the things Eren had said and Erwin. Levi was his challenge and Armin was going to overcome it. He kissed the top, suckling, teasing the slit before taking him in tantalizingly slow before humming and reaching the back of his throat. He began an interesting pace that always made Eren or Erwin go crazy. He noticed that Levi was holding up well at the points that nearly brought the others down and soon a thought popped into his mind.

He knew that since they were similar some of the things he’d like to have done on himself or had always wanted done to him would probably make Levi go just as wild as he did. He started adding teeth gently, bobbing in different ways, his tongue rolled and fluttered as he gagged and choked enjoying the sensation from Levi’s girth and length sliding between his stretched lips. Levi was now moaning softly beneath his breath and his eyes were watering in the corners. Armin felt victorious as Levi jerked forward, hips snapping up and down. He was breaking and he didn’t pull him immediately off.

Levi’s hands found their way into Armin’s hair, “Mami,” he gritted out airy and aroused, “Oh, fuck mami you’re so sweet, so fucking sweet.” He started to fuck his mouth with abandon, “You suck cock so well, mami. Your prettly little mouth feels so hot, so delicious, so good. Oh, Mami, I’m going to fuck you till you scream.” Armin whined around him giving him his best doe eyes pleading for mpre, “You want more, mami? Want me to say dirty things to you? You little bitch, mami, you fucking dirty little whore. I can’t wait to hurt you, use you, maim you, tame you. I’ll make you submit. You can find happiness in slavery.” Armin groaned at the way Levi’s normally controlled monotone voice was now richer and deeper. The timbre higher and divine like the cords of a cello. Yes, a cello. That was what Levi’s voice always reminded him of. The thick cords of a mournful cello.

Levi was on the edge, “I’m going to come. Don’t swallow, don’t spit.” Armin let him continue till he found release. He kept it all as best as he could in his mouth. A few drops made it down his throat and he hoped to be punished for it. Levi stilled, waves of bliss overflowing from his core. He took Armin’s jaw in his hand, “Open.” Armin opened showing the white essence of Levi. He leaned forward, something he’d never done with anyone else for the overall health reasons but there was just something about Armin that made him give in to his darkest desire, “You know what I want.”Oh did Armin _know._ His lips met Armin’s as they kissed slowly, transferring his seed from mouth to mouth. Armin moaned as Levi’s tongue pushed it all back inside for a last time. Levi was on cloud nine and when he pulled back, seeing a small dribble on the side of Armin’s mouth, he watched him swallow and he felt like he was falling in love all over again.

He grabbed Armin up into his lap and stretched him across like last time when they were alone in New York. He admired the henna on his shoulders, briefly wondering what Eren would look like, what design, where, and how would he be if he stretched him across his lap like this. He shivered at the thoughts. Armin’s panties were cute, tempting, and begged to be pulled down. Levi started to remove them sliding them ever so slowly over the mounds of flesh, over his thighs, and knees and off his ankles. He brought them to his face, smelling them, thinking about their use. He leaned over the fleshy mounds taking them in his hands and biting them, lavishing them with kisses. He enjoyed the look of the bra and decided to keep it on him longer. It was then he saw not only his freed erection but a tiny black bejeweled butt-plug top, “Mami was prepared.” His voice stated cooly, “Mami’s a little slut .” Armin turned to look over his shoulder smiling, “Yes, sir. I am.” 

Levi reached through his legs cupping his balls and erection. He pulled his sex back between his legs where he could see it, “Close you legs,” his voice began ending harshly, “tightly.” He had him cross his ankles and clench his thighs to prevent his sex form returning to its normal position. The pretty pink cock, hard but soft looking in color, hairless and pleasant, it made Levi weak. He teased the plug, pushing it around and then twisting it inside of Armin torturing him as one hand smoothed over the flesh of his bottom. Armin knew it was coming but not when it would happen. He whimpered and whined, begged Levi to hit him, begged him to hurt him. Armin whined pitifully, begging with big blue eyes, “Punish me.” His small baby voice cut through the silent room, “Bestrafe mich, bitte,” he purred darkly. Levi chuckled just as darkly, “Punishment doesn’t come to those who want it.” He shook from the effort of resting on the two chair arms and having to remain balanced, “Sir, please hit me.” Levi’s hand smacked his bottom hard. 

It began quickly, with hard constant spanks until Armin’s flesh grew hot and red. He paused playing with the plug more while Armin whined, moaned, screamed when the sensitive flesh was hit with strikes that would bruise and wound. Levi removed the plug quickly, striking Armin at the same time. He noticed his tip leaking precome and paused, “Do not come unless told to come.” Armin’s wrists were purpling from the ribbon tied to keep them in place as he squirmed, “Yes, sir! Please hit me more, sir! Please!” He started to sob the longer Levi waited. He suddenly had an idea. He removed another ribbon tying Armin’s balls and cock together tightly, “There, mami. Now we can play longer.” Levi’s fingers entered Armin harshly while his other hand went back to purpling his ass for the next hour.

*************

Armin thrashed on the floor as the belt made contact with his backside. Levi had started using the heavy leather to edge Armin on. He alternated between wiping him and picking him back up to sit in the chair and aggressively fingering him, playing with his prostate like a toy. Levi was hard again, so hard. The more Armin squirmed the more he wanted to drag it out. It’d already been an hour thirty since they got into the room when he looked at the digital clock on the side table. He knew playing for so long would really weaken a person physically and mentally but Armin wanted more, asked, begged for more. He couldn’t deny him or his own sick need but now was the time to bring it into the next stage.

He took his knife cutting the ribbon around his balls and swollen cock. “Don’t come till I say so, mami.” Armin nodded shakily, “Y-yes S-sir.” Levi dropped to his knees picking Armin’s hips up until he was also on his knees. He then pushed his head down into the carpet, spread his knees wider, so wide it looked deliciously weakening and submissive, before he finally sheathed himself in the wet hot heat. Armin cried out in pleasure, pain, excitement, anticipation. He was just happy to finally have him inside of him and now brutally fucking him, claiming him, making him submit.

Levi’s growls were feral and deep. They vibrated in his chest that was now slick and rubbing against Armin’s. Armin felt his eyes roll back, sensations over taking him. He had to try so hard to not come. He knew that would be unforgivable in this type of play. Levi had him roll over, slamming back inside quickly as he attacked Armin’s chest with his teeth and lips. Levi’s hips moved, circular, piston, and more. They were amazing in the way they made Armin seize up and shudder. Armin thrashed against him fighting him back but more than ever with Erwin. They were so in tune with one another that Levi subdued him easily, choking him as he thrusted deeper, stronger, faster. Armin’s face turned pink, red, purple, all the prettiest shades of the sunsets he’d see in Maria. All of the colors of the sky of Tel Aviv. Armin passed out, he felt him sag, but he continued to fuck him until he came back around a few long pleasure filled minutes later.

Levi watched as Armin did something that truly surprised him when he woke back up, but for sick fucks like they were he shouldn’t be so surprised. Or at least, that’s what he thinks. Armin smiled, smiled at him with almost this intangible indescribable feeling of weightlessness, love, humor, and understanding. Levi wanted to find release and he knew Armin deserved it, “You wanna come, mami? You want to come all over your pretty stomach like a good mami? Like a good slut? Oh, mami, you’re so fucking hot. So fucking hot and tight. I feel you, every time you squeeze on my cock with your tight ass. Mami, you’re such a good little whore. Come on, mami. Come for me. Come on your pretty little stomach. Come for your captain.” Armin surged forward to kiss Levi, their lips electrifying at the slightest contact. He moaned wantonly into the open mouth as Levi felt the tight heat become tighter and he lost himself along with Armin in a cataclysmic coming together of two haunted souls who’d been searching lifetimes to find one another again.

”Levi!” Armin’s voice rang out as he closed his eyes collapsing on top of him. He tingled, he felt blissful, he felt energized, and sated. Armin’s chant of “Levi” stroked his ego while his hands literally stroked the mess of blond hair and delicate features of the creature beneath him. Their breathing slowed, their pants weren’t so deep, and then came the aftermath. Levi knew he had a job to do. He rolled Armin over, cutting the ribbon from his arms. Armin whined slightly as Levi brought him into the bathroom and sat him on the toilet. He turned the shower on letting the water warm up before getting out the emergency kit he traveled and took out his shampoo, conditioner, and body wash.

Armin snorted, “You can’t just use the ones the hotel provides?” Levi cut his eyes over checking the water again, “No. I could if I had to but I prefer my brands. How are you feeling?” Armin shrugged and Levi nodded. “Levi?” “Yes?” “Can we do another line?” “We sure can.” Levi returned and they did another line before he carried Armin into the clear glass walk in shower.

Levi took time to clean every inch of Armin with soothing soap and water. He kissed his bruises, caressed him, held him tightly to him in a reassuring manner. He wanted to make sure that Armin felt safe and secure and that he was well mentally. Armin leaned against his chest between Levi’s legs, “Armin, are you feeling well?” Armin looked up at him, blond hair parting in different directions around his face, “I’m feeling really good. In fact,” he leaned up capturing Levi in a heated kiss. Pulling back he looked at him, smile coy, “I’m stretched and ready to go again.” Levi smirked standing up pulling him with him. He pushed Armin against the slick marble, hand tangling in his hair at the base, before the other pulled his hips back and onto his hardening cock.

******************

As Armin sat back down, feeling Levi’s now flaccid cock leave him making him feel empty, he leaned on his shoulder to catch his breath. Levi’s hands rested on his hips now, they had fallen away from his hair and throat as they climaxed. His legs crossed with Armin resting on them felt like they were made of led now but he couldn’t deny they now needed another shower and to call it a day. The sun would soon appear over the city and now they would need to at least eat and start coming off the cocaine. Levi walked them back into the shower repeating their earlier process that had led to four or five more rounds before their exhaustingly sated end.

Afterwards they wrapped themselves in the robes the hotel had and flopped back on the bed. Armin rubbed his stomach, “I’m hungwies.” His baby voice pulled on Levi’s hear strings and he hated himself for it, he answered the only way he could, ‘You can do that baby shit with your daddy. Just tell me when you’re hungry, like a fucking adult. You’re not my fucking baby.” Armin looked over at him, “Interesting.” Levi didn’t like the sound of that, “What?” Armin kept looking, “Nothing, can we order room service?” Levi nodded rolling over and looking at the menu, he mumbled, “My eyes….they see too well….” Armin giggled, “Yeah, we’ve kind of pushed it tonight with the drugs. Just….what do you want?” “I don’t know, coke makes me not hungry but then it makes me really hungry for certain things.” “Me too.” Levi called the service and ordered two of almost everything. “Just to be safe,” he mumble under his breath. 

They laid together arms touching but nothing more, “Levi?” Levi merely raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t cut me this time.” Levi groaned internally. He hadn’t done it because he thought he might lose control. He wanted to drink Armin’s blood, taste it again. He wanted that and that was too sick, even for them. “The wedding, you know, it’s only a few days away.” “I know but…you choked me. Thank you for that, sir.” “I choked you because I am weak and forgot to not do that.” “You made me feel so good.” “You make me feel.”

Armin let the words linger as he rolled over to the side table digging in his purse till he found a safety pin. He crawled over to Levi’s side sitting on his haunches, “Levka?” Levi watched him, “Here.” He pricked his finger pushing till a bright red bubble appeared he leaned over him cat like as Levi’s skin flushed with warmth and prickled as goose flesh appeared, “Armin.” Armin rubbed the blood over his lips, staining them. He admire Levi’s pouty red mouth, swollen from kissing and biting, before swooping down and kissing him. They kissed passionately for a long time till the door shook with knocks from an angry employee who had trays and trays of food for delivery. Armin and Levi crawled into the bed eating their delights as the sun rose and appeared through the edges of the curtains till Levi shut the plantation blinds. Armin curled around Levi after they finished falling asleep. They’d paid for an extra night when he called room service so they didn’t have to check out early. Armin was very thankful and maybe they would even decided to stay that extra night?.

************************

**Snatches from Eren and Erwin’s night**

Erwin licked up Eren’s throat, his voice dark in the middle of the throes of passion, “Honey, you taste sweet.” Eren started to shake beneath him, his voice sounded off, almost like he was trying to hold something back, “What?” Erwin kissed his lips and then returned to his neck again, murmuring against his skin, “I said you taste sweet.” He hissed hotly as Eren bucked back on him. Eren shook more, “I know….” He panted but his voice still sounded off, “Erwin were you trying to be funny?” He stilled pulling back to look at Eren, “No?” “Really?” “Really. I just….why?” “Because we’re currently in the middle of sex and covered with gummie bears, sprinkles, and chocolate syrup. I’m pretty sure you’re just tasting the syrup that’s covering us and everything else.” Erwin looked around them in the shower. They had decided to do it in here for clean up, “Oh, wow.” Erwin’s eyes widened, “I’d almost forgotten why we were even in here. Sorry.” Eren started to cackle, “Wow. Are you having that good of a time?” Erwin smirked picking back up as Eren tightened around him with each thrust and his long lashes enchanted him, “Always, honey.” Eren smiled and stole his breath away, “Sweeeeeet.” That smile turned into a goofy smirk and Erwin started to laugh.

*************

Loud hysterical laughter and echoing footsteps, “EREN! IT ISN’T FUNNY!” More laughter, cackling more like it, the footsteps louder with every fall, it’s more like a gallop of horses, “STOP LAUGHING!” More laughing, heavier footsteps, “STOP WHERE YOU ARE! THIS IS THE POLICE!” More shrieking laughing, “EREN, IT’S THE POLICE!” Eren’s manic face as it turns to look at Erwin whose running slightly behind him, “FUCK THE POLICE!” Erwin tries not to laugh as they jump into an ally that ends up splitting two ways, “WE are not RUN DMC EREN! WE DO NOT _FUCK_ LAW ENFORCEMENT!” More echoing of heavy equipment, “STOP OR WE’LL USE FORCE!” “EREN WE HAVE TO STOP!” Eren climbs on to a dumpster, “NO!” Erwin skids to a stop, “IT IS THE LAWFUL THING TO DO!” Eren turns dropping low into a squat, “IT’S A CLASS A FELONY, MR LAWYER!” Erwin looks down the alley hearing them closing in and then looks at Eren on the dumpster, “FUCK THE POLICE.” He climbs up and in to an open window where a family is having dinner. 

********

”You can’t do it!” Eren whines, “You just caaaaan’t.” Erwin give him a stone cold expression before reaching forward. Eren slams his hands on the table, “ERWIN NO!” Erwin moves forward grabbing one, “YOU COULD DIE!” Eren stands up knocking his chair over, the other patrons look on disgusted. Eren leans forward whispering while his eyes brim with tears, “You. Could. Die.” Erwin puts the 23rd marshmallow in him mouth. Eren cheers before Erwin needs to sneeze and an explosion of white pastry gets them kicked out of the establishment.

*******

Erwin stops, boots shined and loud on the floor, ”What the fuck, Eren?” Eren looks up, “So….” His voice unsure and innocent, “I shouldn’t have brought the sand in to…..” he looks like a wounded child,” _this_ house?”

*******

Eren watches from the bench in the corner, “I wish this was me.” Erwin leans over, “Just lucky Larry was on duty.” “Shut the fuck up and hand me my mountain dew, shit heads.” Eren pouted passing Larry his dew, “I wish this was me.” Erwin snorted, “Honey, you won the bet. You’re coming out like roses.” Eren thought about it, “I know but I really wanna do this soon. What does it feel like?” Erwin looked Eren in the eye dramatically pausing, “Like becoming a God.”


	64. Ackermann Wedding

Eren threw the covers back exposing himself and Armin to the cool air of the morning, “IT’S MY WEDDING DAY!” Armin groaned pulling the pillow over his head. Eren shook him, “IT’S MY WEDDING DAY, ARM!” Armin bit his tongue to not scream. Eren removed the pillow, “ARMIN AREN’T YOU EXCITED!?” Armin’s eyes flashed red as he glared up from his position on the bed, “I. AM. HUNG. OVER. SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.” Eren merely stared before leaning down to look him in the eye, “But,” he whispered, “you’re excited, right?” Armin merely stared a stare that Eren knew all too well, “Love yoooouuuuu!” He pulled at Armin’s pony tail before rolling off the bed before Armin could kill him. 

Armin laid in the bed before crawling out and back to his room where Erwin was snoring softly under the covers. He’d be waking up in the next hour so Armin decided to join him and crawl in alongside. He’d been pretty miffed at the bruising from Levi and his jealously had not yet played out in full. Armin was asked to sleep with Eren the last few nights leading up to the big day, alone, and Erwin was relegated to his bedroom away from Armin and Eren and unable to mark what was his again. Armin slid in, taking his socks off. He let them hang out of the covers till they became cold. Then, quiet deviously, he stuck them on Erwin’s lower back making him yelp and jerk awake. Armin snickered as his confused fiancé looked around wounded till he figured out what had happened. 

Armin smiled, “Daddy, are you okay?” Erwin rolled over, “You’re evil.” Armin snickered, “I love you daddy.” “What do you want?” “Let’s make a baby.” “No, no, no,” Erwin said with a tone that proved he’d been hurt at the lack of contact between them these past days, “you don’t even wanna _sleep_ in the same bed as me. How are we gunna make a baby?” Armin snuggled closer tone playful, “Like this.” He kissed Erwin softly, “And then it kind of progresses from kissing to other stuff. Haven’t you had the talk yet?” Erwin huffed, “Come on, baby, I wrote the book.” Armin giggled laying on Erwin’s pillow, one finger tracing the features of his face, “When I look at you, Erwin, I just feel so…so…so much. I can’t even describe it. They way your eyelashes look, how long they are, how delicate but thick. When I look at the way your skin moves over you cheek bones and jaw, the curves and edges. My God, you’re like a masterpiece and what’s best is that on the inside your even more than that.”

”You’re mind, the words, the way you tell stories and weave things together,” Armin laughed softly, “I could listen for hours until the end of my life and thereafter. Erwin, you are my home, my everything. You’re the home I never had; the ocean shore, limitless. You stretch before me endlessly and I feel so small next to you. Sometimes I feel like we are equals but then I realize how much more you are to me and how I could never ever rival you. How would I ever eclipse or equal a man like you, my darling?” 

Armin leaned forward to press another kiss to Erwin’s slightly curled lips, “I love you.” Erwin smiled, “I love you, baby. I love you so much." Armin moved closer hands stroking Erwin’s newly tattooed flesh. He'd shown up that Thursday afternoon hung over as hell and saw a fidgety Erwin nursing his shoulder. Armin had nearly had a panic attack thinking something was wrong with it, that all that progress was a vicious lie. Erwin took Armin in the bathroom taking his clothes off for him before redressing him in one of his shirts and his small Nike running shorts before taking his own shirt off and showing Armin the half sleeve of red poppies. Armin thought the tattoo was a work of art, "Why poppies?" Erwin smiled, "They're you're favorite flower. They also make me think of you, of us. Us all, actually. Flanders Fields feels very close to me, like we'd been there us four. I wonder if one day poppies will grow on us?" Armin smiled taking his face in his hands, "I will make sure our children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren know to plant some." He kissed his softly, passionately. "Armin, I wear a piece of you on my skin because I cannot put you physically inside of me and this dulls some of the pain. Does that make sense?" To Armin, that made complete sense, "I was thinking of doing to same. Please say you'll never, ever go away?" Erwin peered into his eyes, "I promise to never ever go away."

*****************

The house started to boom with guests as the parties came together for quick sets of pictures. Carla and Grisha, Giovanni and Delaine, and Hannes all stood in the kitchen speaking while drinks were being arranged for the upcoming cocktail hour. [Eren](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/dc/d5/51/dcd5519e09972ba72ce26227a9cef618.jpg) appeared looking dashing in his tux. His henna hidden until Levi and his wedding night. Carla smiled, “Oh you look so handsome!” Grisha nodded behind her as she went to hug him. Eren smiled, “Where is Levi? I can’t let him see me but I need to know if David is here with the….the-“ Hannes coughed, “The damn wedding contract. Ketubah.” The door opened revealing a dashing [David](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/09/af/92/09af92b49e2326271c9de4b5ad748681.jpg), wearing the tux all of the men were wearing for the wedding, “I have it.” Eren squealed with delight, “DAVID YOU MADE THIS?!”

David smiled softly, “I did. I thought it was appropriate for your theme.” The [ Ketubah](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/77/d3/a5/77d3a542b6baf174153cbc78eb118506.jpg) was gorgeous in gold and exotic like the things Eren really liked. Carla and Delaine cooed over it while Hannes offered a nod. David and Hannes had only just recently met when he went with Eren to take dinner to him on Wednesday. He was also secretly snooping on Armin and Levi but David prevented him saying something about privacy. Who the hell deserved privacy?”

David had been gracious as Eren cooked and cleaned up the kitchen. David looked around noting that the house could stand some tidying up and while Hannes read the paper Eren had brought him and whatever magazine Levi included he started cleaning up. He was happy to do so and when he nearly finished Hannes called him in to the living room, "Sit down, sit down. My God, you're huge. Are you sure you're not actually Goliath? "

David smiled, he'd heard that a lot, "I can't help it, sir." Hannes looked him over nodded, "People always say the same things. So lemme ask you another recycled question because if I don't Eren will say I'm not trying to be more "social." I like Levi, he lets me alone and we don't have to talk. Do you know him well?" David smiled softly, face slipping in to the old mask, "Of course, we were childhood friends." Hannes appeared very intrigued, "Are you cousins?" David laughed a little, "Tribesmen, but who knows maybe 10th or 11th something cousins. It'd be distant." "You're Asian and he is, too. Doesn't that increase the odds?" David paused, "Why do you think Levi is Asian like me?" Hannes snorted rolling his eyes in disgust, "Because I got eyes, shit head. Look at his eyes. They're just like a few of my wife’s friend's grandkids. A lot of my wife’s friends here were women that men who fought on the Pacific front married and brought back over from Japan and other Asian countries. He's probably only a quarter like them where you look more half. Doesn't have that same golden undertone like you but not all Asians are the same. Somethin' the school system does a shit job of teaching. The public schools, I mean." David was stumped, he'd never thought about it but the Ackermanns had an already distinct eye shape, he saw that in his mother's face and the few snapshots she had of her family that was now dead so he had always assumed it was just how an Ackermann looked. Levi had a distinct look about him that came out when David or Mikasa was near him. It might be true. "I think you might be right. I'd just never noticed."

Hannes leaned back, "So, your parents, what do they do?" David grunted, "They are deceased." Hannes looked at him nodding his head, "I'm sorry about that. What were they like?" David smoothed his hand over the table, "My mother was half Mongolian, Swedish too, and she was beautiful. A very talented seamstress who wanted to make a difference in the world by making wedding dresses that inspired joy and hope. My father was half Japanese and Swedish, a Ben Yeshiva and was working towards becoming a dinyan. I followed in his footsteps but I never graduated with the title." "Why not?" "Because they didn't treat women well." "Really? What a scandalous and rare thing to hear from a Jewish ultra orthodox man." "I'm just conservative now. I left.” “The sect? Why?” “I was turning 17 and it wasn’t right for me and because of many reasons but mostly I felt forced into marriages that the girls were more like children and the blatant sexism and inability to introduce secular texts into study were too much. A woman of valor and of the Torah is something to rejoice in, not fear." Hannes liked David very much. He liked him almost as much as Levi. "What do you do now with your life?"

David looked at the lace table cloth, "I work for the Israeli embassy. Just an administrator of sorts. I meet with a few assigned clients but only at their request. I push papers." Hannes gave him a warning look, "Don't waste your breath. You're Mossad or Shin Bet, I bet." David was shocked, "Why would ever say something like that?!" Hannes shifted in his chair, "Levi mentioned you around the time Armin showed back up. I know Levi must be something, too. I guess you two pieces of shit are at least capable. Our CIA is messy and gets involved everywhere it shouldn't. Ain't been that long since Cuba opened back up." "Do you like Cuba?" "Of course." "Why?" "Beautiful women with cigars. What's not to like." "I think that might offend someone." "Then fuck them. Enough with this kaffeeklatsch talk, you and Mikasa are dating, right?" "Yes, sir." "How do you feel about her not being Jewish?" 

David was suddenly hit with the gravity of the question. He had honestly never thought about her _not_ being Jewish. He felt stupid, shocked, disappointed, confused, but mostly embarrassment colored his features as Hannes looked on sternly. "You must have heard Ackermann and just assumed. You know she's adopted. Pretty sure they were not Jewish from what Grisha has said. Now you're in a pickle. Not such a bad thing that I wasn't Jewish because my wife was but your situation is the stereotypical Jewish mother's fear." Hannes laughed as David sunk into oblivion. "I'm very upset." "I know you are. Best deal with it sooner rather than later."

Eren broke David out of his comfort zone with the visit but he'd grown to like Hannes. Now, David bid them all goodbye to head over to Mike and Hanji's house. Eren told him to tell Levi he loved him. David smiled, knowing Levi would be telling him to do the same.

*********

Hanji skirted around the room with Mila until deft hands plucked her from them. Hanji smiled as a dashing [Levi](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/32/a5/99/32a5991db02dfa7faaa21c33314707a1.jpg) cradled Mila against his chest. She was fussy and not wanting to take her nap. But, her beloved uncle would soon have her on a trip to dream land as he cooed French stories of magic in her ears kissing her hair softly. Mike came inside half dressed, "How much time, Han?" "Ummm we need to go in thirty. Where is David?" Levi moved to the window pulling the curtain back, "David is here." He opened the door letting him in, "Achki, will you be running away with your girlfriend?" Levi smiled a small smile, Mila now asleep clutching his collar with her small rosy fingers, "She's a bit young for me, not unlike my husband to be. How is my Eren?" 

David shrugged, "Good. He says he loves you. I think he's nervous but it's more nervous excitement. He's like a dog, you know?" Levi snorted, "Tell me about it. I love him so much. Thank you for sharing the best man position. Erwin is taking care of Eren and his party for me but I really appreciate this time we have right now alone to go over there." David was touched, "I am, too. I have things to ask you. Though, they are selfish in nature." Levi raised an eyebrow, "Let's get Mila back to her mother and well be off."

*************

Levi sat in the car as David pulled up to the package store returning shortly with a case of Israeli wine. "You want to talk about something." David coughed clearing his throat, "I assumed Mikasa was a Jew.....by birth. Eren is....Jewish so...." Levi covered his face, small giggles escaping, sounding awkward to those who only knew the stoic monotone sullen version of himself, "Eren converted, David." "Really? I......that makes sense now with how strange Dr. Jaeger was about...." "About what?" "Never mind." He mumbled dismissively, "It just makes sense now." Levi laid his head against the glass of the window, "You must be absolutely sure for you to now be worried about this, David." David shifted in his chair, "I don't want to lose this." "I was the same way." "You asked him?" "He just did it. Hid it and didn't really plan on telling me because he worried that people would think he wasn't serious." David stared ahead of him, "He just did it. Hmmm beschert." Levi smiled, "Beschert."

******

Armin and [ Mikasa](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/05/94/dc/0594dcc83645e1249c342c06297fb067.jpg) stood ready to assist Eren in any way he needed. Jean and Marco were quietly leaned against one another. Armin suddenly remembered something and called Erwin over, "Erwin!" Erwin turned around pouting, "Aww no daddy?" Armin stared, deadpanned, "Do you want me to call you daddy in front of Mr. and Mrs. Jaeger and Hannes?" Erwin pouted more, "Yes." Armin couldn’t suppress his smirk, "You're my perverted soul mate." A smiling Erwin moved over with an exaggerated gait, "Thanks baby. What did you need, though?" Armin nicked his head towards Jean and Marco. Erwin's face lit up, "Ohhh." He grabbed Armin's hand pulling out an envelope from his coat pocket as they approached them, "Jean, Marco." Erwin began as they looked up, "Yeah?" Jean’s delivery was never smooth as Marco gritted at the coarseness of it, "y'all okay or what?" 

Erwin handed him the envelope, "Armin and I booked this trip for after the wedding but we've got other things that came up and we can't go. We want you two to go, spend time together, have fun, and enjoy since we can't. Everything is paid for and there is money in your accounts since we still owed a bit on the book and we want another commission after you get back. One that is small and shouldn't be such a hassle to do with the other things you have going on. The limo will pick you up tomorrow afternoon and take you to the airport, from there a rental car will be provided and then when you return it'll be the same thing. Limo home and done." Marco and Jean were speechless so Armin jumped in, "We won't accept no and we don't need thank you or any of that. Do it. Take time and spend it together away from all of us and our crazy lives. We love y'all and y'all deserve it."

Marco reached forward and hugged Armin, “I know you did this.” He whispered and Armin smiled, “Don’t ruin our suites.” He murmured as Jean smiled shaking Erwin’s hand, “You two are up to something but I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.” Armin and Jean turned around when Hanji and Mila appeared at the door, “Erwin, short stack is here if you wanna join him with us.” Erwin smiled giving Armin’s shoulder a squeeze as he made his way past a sleeping Mila and beautiful [Hanji.](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/27/04/28/270428235338ac111d0bb5248e31a687.jpg)

******************

Levi sat in the office with a beer on the desk in front of him while David and Rabbi Berkovitch talked Kabalah and Erwin and Mike spoke secretly about something he’d have to dig in to later. They had a joint account and he’d noticed a few mysterious payments recently that he’d let slid but now, now he’d need to get in to it. Another mystery for him to solve about the golden commander everyone laid their life down for.

Levi was to sit at the _Tish_ or table as it is and give a scholarly talk once his reception began. He had decided to let David pick his topic and was now rehearsing it in his mind as Hanji closed the door with Petra, Eld, Oulu, and Yvonne behind them. Petra wasn’t in wedding and Oulu and Yvonne decided they would act as ushers of sorts handing out the programs for those unfamiliar with Jewish weddings. The point of each having a reception was to allow time to be spent with loved ones and in his case to drink and sing songs. Berkovitch went to stay with Eren who would need more guidance but he started the song a song before leaving. David and Levi smiled at one another as they began to dance and Erwin turned on some festive klemzer music surprising and delighting Levi.

The music roused the sleeping Mila who Levi took in his arms before she could become grumpy and cry out. They sang, they danced, they were merry. The signing of the Ketubah was next but since Levi would be called upon to admit his financial and moral obligations to Eren his parents should be present to hear his declaration. Levi groaned inside as Grisha appeared. Carla was smiling, confused, but smiling. Erwin and Mike were still dancing while David and Berkovitch, who had brought them, laughed at Hannes who burst inside claiming he was going to be where the party was. 

Levi finished his beer, prepapring for the talk, “I’m not much for a stately talk so I thought a quote would do.” David smiled, “I have one for you before you begin.” Levi smiled at him, “What is it?” “May you two be so close that when one weeps the other tastes salt.” Levi smiled brighter raising his beer for David to do the same, “L’Chaim!” the room chorused, “Okay but now it’s all about me.” Hanji laughed as Mike nodded and Erwin snorted, 

“My beloved resembles a gazelle or a fawn of the hinds; behold, he is standing behind our wall, looking from the windows, peering from the lattices. My beloved raised his voice and said to me, 'Arise, my beloved, my fair one, and come away. For behold, the winter has passed; the rain is over and gone. The blossoms have appeared in the land, the time of singing has arrived, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land. The fig tree has put forth its green figs, and the vines with their tiny grapes have given forth their fragrance; arise, my beloved, my fair one, and come away. My dove, in the clefts of the rock, in the coverture of the steps, show me your appearance, let me hear your voice, for your voice is pleasant and your appearance is comely.' Seize for us the foxes, the little foxes, who destroy the vineyards, for our vineyards are with tiny grapes. My beloved is mine, and I am his, who grazes among the roses. Until the sun spreads, and the shadows flee, go around; liken yourself, my beloved, to a gazelle or to a fawn of the hinds, on distant mountains."

Levi finished the portion of _Song of Solomon_ while David and Erwin smiled fondly thinking of their own loves who reminded them of the landscapes within and the foxes that roamed the vineyards. Levi’s cheeks were blushed pink as he finished thinking about how much he loved his king who resembled more gazelle than man.

David handed Levi the pen, “Levi will now sign the Ketubah. Two witnesses must be present.” He paused looking around, “We have more than enough.” There were giggles around the room. Levi’s hand moved seamlessly across the paper noting where Eren had already written his own. He’d not seen or spoken to Eren in a week. He had pinned for him, longed, dreamed of him. Eren had filled his life with such laughter, such love, such carefree humor and he missed him, needed him. _I’ll be responsible for him, Erwin._ A memory…but from where?

Carla and Grisha waited for what was next. Levi had signed in an old quill pen David provided for the look of the signatures on the paper, he signed under witness along with Erwin, and then he dusted the ink with sand blowing it off with much show as was want of the occasion. Erwin stood beside him, Levi flanked by both super human gods he had the pleasure of calling his best friends. “Now Levi will make his own informal declaration, the Kinyan, of his obligations to Eren for his parents. We will read the Ketubah later in the ceremony so it doesn’t get old.” David chuckled and so did Berkovitch. Levi looked at the tish before meeting both of the Jaeger’s eyes, “I promise as Eren’s husband to always provide for him financially. I promise to always protect him, encourage him, lift him up and to be emotionally satisfying of his needs as well as his physical. I will treat him not just as an extension of me but better than me. He will want for nothing for it is my promise to always put his happiness above my own, to worship him as the apple of my eye, to see him and respect him as the father of our future children, their other caregiver, and I promise to take his advice and hold it in the highest esteem when it comes to the choices I need to make about my life and our life. I would promise to love him unconditionally and forever but I already do and have and will forever.”

Levi closed his mouth, starting to choke up, his eyes were moist and Erwin’s hand was heavy on his shoulder. He turned to look at him and as Erwin gave him a shake and a hug. Carla wiped her eyes, “I’m so thankful he’s marrying you, Levi. I am so thankful to have you in our life. I think I just fell in love with you myself.” She laughed softly as others joined in, “Honestly, to hear those words,” she wiped her eyes, “that’s all a parent wants to hear about the person their child is going to spend the rest of their life with.” Carla moved forward to hug Levi as Grisha nodded his head wiping his eyes under his glasses. Erwin wondered if he really was touched or if they were crocodile tears.

He killed the thought where it was. Today was a happy day, not one like that. Berkovitch whistled, time to go downstairs for the veiling of the “bride-groom.” He smiled, he was secretly happy Eren was taking more of the woman’s traditional role in this because it would give them the traditional experience. It was also fitting of Eren’s personality and how fully he threw himself into things. He was so determined. Levi and the others walked downstairs to the living room. Guests were outside and soon they would start the ceremony. Levi hadn’t seen Eren yet and once they did the veiling they would start the wedding. After the ceremony they would finish pictures with their parties and then head off for their moment alone where the bride and groom traditionally shared a snack while the rest of the wedding was being set up.

Levi nearly tripped in the hallway. If it wasn’t for David and Erwin grabbing him he would have. Eren turned around, green eyes shining as he smiled that same magical goofy smile he’d given him that first day in the lab. Oh HaShem, now he was here rubbing between Donner’s ears as he smiled at him so happy and free. Happy and free, happy and free, free from walls and the struggles of life . Levi made his way over awkwardly as Armin and Mikasa pulled out the box with the veil in it. Levi’s eye narrowed, “That box?” Eren looked over as he waited for Levi to approach him, “What about it?” David cleared his throat, “I thought it might mean something.”

Armin opened the box as Mikasa, who had restored the damaged areas of the lace and brought it out of its dingy previous condition to a new one, lifted the [veil](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/83/ec/a9/83eca980daeea9a27d25a5a9fe9f2f27.jpg) out for display. “Oh my God that’s so beautiful. I can’t believe that’s going on my head.” Eren marveled as Levi looked at David, tears in his eyes, “Achki,” Levi was very emotional. So much so his Hebrew was like reading letters to Eren it was so choked up and emotional. Eren looked at the sounds, the letters in his mind. It didn’t make sense until it suddenly did, “Ze ahoah shal ima sheli.” (That was my mother’s) Eren’s eyes were wide as he looked at the veil, “This was your mother’s.” Levi nodded moving forward to take the veil. 

Eren’s eyes were brimming with tears as Levi wiped his sniffles away. They both looked at each other smiling as Levi tried to lift the veil. He kept hesitating, “God, you look so beautiful. I can’t believe this is real.” Eren laughed wiping his eyes, “Shut up, good thing we’re doing this for pictures. I couldn’t walk in that thing at all.” Levi laughed breathily as he put the veil on Eren’s head smoothing it and placing it. The click of the camera lens and flash echoing in the background as everyone cooed and awed at the couple who were clearly engrossed in one another as they surged forward kissing sweetly. 

Levi stroked Eren’s face, “I love you.” Eren laughed more, “Mm God, I missed you. I am so stupid. Why did I want a week away from you?” “Because you’re a shitty brat.” Levi’s voice was low and gruff but it was playful and that made Eren smile more, “Let’s get married.” They took their places, Eren removed the sentimental veil that would be displayed at the reception along with the Ketubah after it was read, and prepared for the wedding processional. 

*****************8

Walking down to the [ chupah](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/f5/16/82/f516827b1f51caec956b01e9998dc8ec.jpg) both men’s hearts fluttered. It was a simple ceremony, traditional and perhaps a bit boring to those who didn’t understand it. But, it had all of the meaning that Levi had always attributed with it and he was so happy that this was his time at the chupah, his time celebrating his faith, tradition, and love. He looked at Eren as he circled his seven times. When it came his time to circle he noticed the shimmer in Eren’s eyes and the nervous and shy way he bit his lip. Colors had never been more vivid at their sunset into night wedding. Eren was alive and fresh. Levi could eat him raw.

Rabbi Berkovitch started to read the Sheva Brachot:

__

Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who creates the fruit of the vine.  
Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who has created all things for His glory.  
Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, Creator of man.  
Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who created man in His image, in the image [of His] likeness [He fashioned] his form, and prepared for him from his own self an everlasting edifice. Blessed are You Lord, Creator of man.  
May the barren one [Jerusalem] rejoice and be happy at the ingathering of her children to her midst in joy. Blessed are You Lord, who gladdens Zion with her children.  
Grant abundant joy to these loving friends, as You bestowed gladness upon Your created being in the Garden of Eden of old. Blessed are You Lord, who gladdens the groom and bride.  
Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who created joy and happiness, groom and bride, gladness, jubilation, cheer and delight, love, friendship, harmony and fellowship. Lord our God, let there speedily be heard in the cities of Judah and in the streets of Jerusalem the sound of joy and the sound of happiness, the sound of a groom and the sound of a bride, the sound of exultation of grooms from under their chupah, and youths from their joyous banquets. Blessed are You Lord, who gladdens the groom with the bride.  


David and Erwin held the Ketubah up to read:

_  
"And thus said Levi, the said groom: "I take upon myself, and my heirs after me, the surety of this ketubah, of the dowry, and of the additional sum, so that all this shall be paid from the best part of my property, real and personal, that I now possess or may hereafter acquire. All my property, even the mantle on my shoulders, shall be mortgaged for the security of this ketubah and of the dowry and of the addition made thereto, during my lifetime and after my lifetime from this day forever."_

Eren smiled shyly as Levi looked into his eyes, a boyish grin on his own face that Eren so earnestly wanted to commit to memory.

_  
"And the surety for all the obligations of this ketubah, dowry and the additional sum has been assumed by Levi the said groom, with the full obligation dictated by all documents of ketubot and additional sums due every daughter of Israel, executed in accordance with the enactment of our sages, of blessed memory. It is not to be regarded as an indecisive contractual obligation nor as a stereotyped form."_

Eren and Levi remained entrenched in one another as time slowed down, Eren’s fingers slightly touching the hem of Levi’s suit jacket, bathed in candle light and flickering molten colors of Arabian delight.

_  
"And we have completed the act of acquisition from Levi son of Kuschel of the family Ackermann the said bridegroom, for Eren son of Grisha and Carla of the family Jaeger this bridegroom, for all that which is stated and explained above, by an instrument legally fit to establish a transaction. And everything is valid and established."_

Rabbi Berkovitch smiled, “The rings and vows.” Levi reached into his pocket removing the traditional Jewish wedding [ ring ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e2/01/4c/e2014ce7fa026f37ba8d6d0061f67d9e.jpg) borrowed normally from the temple but this one he had been gifted by Erwin recently. He held it before Eren’s index finger, “Behold, by this ring you are consecrated to me according to the laws of Moses and Israel.” Levi meet Eren’s gaze before sliding the ring on, "With this ring, you are made holy to me, for I love you as my soul. You are now my husband.” He paused, “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” Levi said the last line with such a relieved sigh and loving tone, like all of the weight had been lifted off of his life, the crushing anxiety that loneliness brought, when the people you loved were taken from you and you were left with only the barren earth to wander alone. 

Eren repeated the last line and started to cry as Rabbi Bekovitch wrapped them in the Tallit saying a blessing over them before removing it and then turning them back towards each other. Erwin moved forward giving Levi the white clothed bottle. He put it on the floor and leaned forward slamming his foot down shattering the glass with the echos of the destruction of the temple. Eren smiled as he leapt forward to meet Levi’s lips as they kissed and the guests clapped and cheered.

****************

Every one enjoyed the cocktail hour outside in the dreamy rustic [garden.](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/58/2a/f7/582af7d467bb28e75d46f58c89a6b3ac.jpg) Inside the [barn](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/05/51/f9/0551f9ceeb67d8237aa13489c4df5626.jpg) the tables were being set up with [Turkish](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/07/27/07/0727074566add5288fed59a48002f78b.jpg) flair and Delaine was in her element telling people what to do and looking over the details with a keen eye. Carla and Grisha mingled with a lifetime of friends, family from abroad that Eren had invited and Levi had saw to it they were able to get visas for them. Eren and Levi left for their moment alone that was customary. Levi didn’t want to be reminded just how few people his side of the guest list had.

Inside the room Eren immediately started drooling when he saw the small snacks for them. Levi started to laughed loudly as Eren turned around, mouth bursting with food, “Wuh?” Levi pointed towards the side table, “Would you like something to drink from our fancy ass art deco Absinthe [fountain](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/7c/f9/1a/7cf91a7df1402a10f0161d42b6106100.jpg)? Really? What the fuck is with those two and their extravagant tastes?” Eren chuckled, “Armin and Erwin were made for one another, it’s true. I kind of like it. It’s out there.” Levi howled, “A nymph bitch holding up a giant fountain. Really? You like this?” Eren laughed more as Levi made them each a drink, “Eren, thank you.” Eren grinned, “For what?” Levi hesitated, “For everything.”

Eren swooped down kissing him, something they did for a long time until Levi broke away, “I have your ring.” Eren looked surprised, “I have your ring. You’re the only one without a ring. I have one.” Levi huffed, “You need a band, idiot.” Eren smirked, “I don’t need anything.” Levi removed a small but beautiful [band,](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/66/ad/d9/66add9bb541e5d75536576af76a2802b.jpg) “Here, it made me think of you.” Eren was always floored by the things Levi did for him, the small moments he let him glimpse inside of his mind. How had such a delicate thing like this made Levi think “This is Eren?” He loved it, that wasn’t the problem, but seeing yourself through another’s eyes is always touching. 

”I really hope you like yours.” Eren mumbled, “I tried to capture you in all of your moods, not just the day we were….getting married publically.” Eren had found it hilarious every time Levi and he forgot they were already married. They had managed to fake the quintessential Facebook “Wedding Licsence Day Woot Woot” picture, which had garnered many likes much to Levi’s amusement who didn’t like social media but kept asking Eren how many “likes” they had gotten. They told Eren’s parents that it would be “signed” while they were in their private moment and that the Ketubah was what was most important, which Levi had noticed that Eren had begun the first stroke of an A for Ackermann only to bring it into a J for Jaeger after he realized what awkwardness that would create for his family. The little things they noticed between one another made him feel so alive and at home. 

Eren reached into his pocket removing the box and then taking the ring out, “I hope you like it.” He mumbled self-consciously. Levi took the [ring,](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/47/59/61/4759615fd88196739d72d6bbaf2378f0.jpg) amazed, “Wow….you know me so well.” Eren took his face in his hand kissing him, “You think we have time for a quickie?” Levi laughed, “No, we don’t. Let’s go and party. We have a flight to catch in the morning.” Eren pouted, “Oh well.” Levi smirked, “Serves you right for your week apart bullshit.” ************** 

Once outside most of the guests had gone into the barn to get ready for food and the celebrations. Turkish lanterns were hung in the trees nearest the barn, a table with handmade [tambourine](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/51/4f/6a/514f6a893af45ec3ed7ee79eea880855.jpg) for festive music making while dancing, tables with [food](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/9e/9f/91/9e9f91cc0d4b932694f5bb0c26c450c0.jpg) for snacking, and then [Turkish coffee and delights ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/5c/aa/ed/5caaed6628cb14a0e5469af7c7cf57e4.jpg)were scattered around on platters with old Turkish and Persian rugs on the new barn floor. 

Eren squealed as he saw [Isi](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/71/7c/f3/717cf3e23b371b81a9953d636d22e627.jpg) resting on a chair in the corner near Jean and Marco. Eren and Levi were asked to take their place as the meal was served, options for all guests were sure to delight them and Armin and Erwin took a seat across from them while Mikasa and David joined them. Mila had looked adorable coming down the aisle and now she was being passed from friend to friend. Levi watched with a smile on his face and Eren’s hand in his. Eren leaned over, “Oh my HaShem look at our [cake](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/19/6d/02/196d0200437e79fab18f5052e07bc4ab.jpg). I cannot wait to smash that all in your beautiful sullen face.” He giggled as Levi slapped his arm playfully grabbing him up and peppering his face with kisses, “Shut up shitty brat.” Eren kissed Levi again, deepening the kiss as they listened to the music. Armin and Erwin smiled at one another as David put his arm around Mikasa while she drank her wine. “Should I “turn it up” tonight or?” David said to Mikasa but it was open for the entire table. Armin slammed his hand down, “Yes, yes, please let me see you “turn it up.” I neeeeeed this.” David looked over to a still heated Levi and Eren, “Mmm they’re like porn, no?” Mikasa snorted, “Tell me about it.” Levi released a panting Eren, “Better pull out that wine. I’ve already had a glass of absinthe.” Levi smirked devilishly as Erwin chuckled, “This is going to be good. By the way, David and I arranged for a Klemzer band.” Levi’s eyes widened, “Nooooooo,” he was truly delighted, “oooh you two didn’t?!” 

With the dinners being served the band arrived and started to set up, “We did.” The clarinets started to play as they began to drink and be merry. Once the feast began the night become one to remember. Eren looked at Levi smiling, “Neshama, I am so happy.”

***************

Hanji and Mike were clapping with vigor as their picture was taken in an illuminative flash, Mikasa was dancing in a circle with Sasha and Carla while Erwin and David, Marco and Jean, and Connie all lifted Eren and Levi higher and higher on the chairs while the band spurred them on:

Hava nagila, hava nagila  
Hava nagila ve-nis'mecha  
Hava neranena, hava neranena  
Hava neranena venis'mecha  
Uru, uru achim  
Uru achim belev same'ach

Levi kept holding the handkerchief higher causing Eren to nearly lose his grip. Both were red in the face from smiling and drinking. A perfect picture of a perfectly happy couple.

  
Let us rejoice, let us rejoice  
Let us rejoice and be glad  
Let us sing, let us sing  
Let us sing and be glad  
Awaken, awaken brethren  
Awaken brethren with a cheerful heart.

Armin started handing out late night[ snacks](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/0d/56/d1/0d56d17925830cb57300d338a3ba73f4.jpg) wearing a[ shtreimel,](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/5b/4a/60/5b4a606eea5f5ee61d724613af1f56cc.jpg) or religious Hasidic ceremonial hat made of fur. David found it hilarious and Levi did too, if not a bit arousing. Erwin chased him around pinching at his bottom eating the snacks and drinking scotch. 

***************

”Don’t do it, brat.” Eren started to giggle. He had had so much to drink and couldn’t hide his devious intentions very well, “Don’t do it.” He took the piece of cake and smashed it on Levi’s face. Armin and Erwin howled with laughter as David pulled out his handkerchief to Levi. Levi took it, stumbling slightly, before leaping towards Eren capturing him and wiping his cake face all over his. Eren squealed and squired as Levi laughed. Mila’s chipper laughter broke through as Hanji and Mike walked forward. 

Levi took her in his arms while Eren wiped their face off, “We got to go, Levi.” Hanji began smiling softly, “Don’t die, you’re already three sheets to the wind.” Levi kissed Mila, “But, you’re ripping a piece of my heart away from me. The night isn’t even over yet.” Hanji laughed, “Well, she’s my daughter. She has to go home and go to sleep, Levi. It’s really late, almost 11:00 pm and she’s already craving her stuffed Donner and blanket.” Hanji moved to take Mila but Levi held her closer, “No.” Hanji rolled their eyes, “Levi, really?” “No. I have no children, my womb is barren. Give her to me. A simple wedding gift for a barren man.” David laughed shortly, “Achki, you don’t even have a womb.” Levi gave him a sly look, “Correct, I have _wombs_.” David snorted, “Loz’ du das Kind op, breeder. Kom, tantsn mit mir.” (Let the child go, brother. Come dance with me.) Levi relented kissing her tiny features before letting her go, hugging Hanji and kissing them, and moving with David to the dance floor with the other couples. 

Eren saw Marco and Armin dancing together sensually with drinks in their hands as Jean at his cake and watched. He moved over to him after hugging and telling Mike and Hanji bye. They would be watching the house and animals on and off while Sasha and Connie stayed the summer and kept everything in order. Sasha and Connie had each gotten jobs at a restaurant and they wanted to stay the summer to work and take classes. Eren and Armin had mentioned that they thought that Erwin and Levi were behind their sudden employment since they knew the owners of the restaurant but they let it slide. 

If their men wanted to do good for others and take care of others and their dreams then what did it hurt? Sasha didn’t like going back home and felt like she was always being made fun of for how she grew up when people in Maria heard how she spoke with her father on the phone or if any of them knew anything about Braus farm and hunting. Connie wanted to stay near her, though, their relationship was often confusing. They were together but then most of the time everyone thought they were just friends pretending to be together. It was odd and had been the topic of discussion more than once in the group. 

Eren and Jean looked at each other smirking, faces flushed from alcohol. Jean put his plate down, “Okay, Jaeger, let’s do it.”

****************

**A few hours later.**

Jean groaned, “Where the fuck am I? What the fuck is that?” Isi was licking his face where he laid on the ground behind the bar. Armin walked over still wearing the hat but now shirtless with white suspenders, body still marked causing Erwin to seethe when he passed, “You fell? You bleedin?” His words were slurred slightly, but Jean understood, “Whu? I fell?” Armin nodded exaggeratedly nearly falling over but catching himself on the stainless steel bar top, “Yup, fell vhen we piched zou up in de challah chair.” Jean didn’t remember, “Armin,” he started to laugh uncontrollably, “kessssskah est tu German?” Armin started laughing, “Bin ik German? Biste French oder what? What even?” Armin fell on Jean slightly as both laughed till tears ran down their face.

Erwin and David were now in the middle of intense contest of “who could drink the most Israeli wine without dying or throwing up while performing tasks.” They would perform tasks to see who was drunkest which Mikasa and Marco judged despite their inhibited states. Eren was eating cake by the handfuls along with poppers while Levi started bundling things up in the wedding handkerchief. Eren started to laugh spiting cake everywhere as he passed. Levi’s jacket discarded and vest open, shirt untucked, blood on the lapel from when David and he had decided to have a dagger throwing contest. It wasn’t his blood. “Whah are you doin’ Neshahmah?” Levi gave him a very serious look looking down at the parcel, “I’m packing.” Eren laughed, “For what?” Levi’s eyes narrowed, “The Diaspora.” Eren cackled, “Neshama, we already live in the Diaspora.” Lei gasped, “No, Eren, don’t say such. We are not going to be in the Diaspora forever.” Eren walked over, stumbling more like to take a hold Levi’s shoulders, he sang drunkenly, “Feel you, pretty baby. Feel me. Turn it up hot, lovin’ you is free.” Levi calmed smirking as he kissed Eren’s lips. Levi mumbled, “I like it down, like it down way low, but you already know that. You already know.” Eren and Levi started to really get heated when Marco stood up, “RED CARD ON ERWIN!”

Erwin looked wounded, “WHAT WHY?” Marco threw tiny slips of paper at Erwin, “Because you used your bow tie in a way that offended me.” David snorted, “I win.” Erwin was miffed, “Whatever.” He grumbled as Mikasa stood up swaying slightly, she had also entered the dagger contest beating out David who had been more than impressed, “I gotta go to bed. We all should well,” she looked at Eren and Levi, “It’s almost 6 am and their car gets here at 6.” David picked Mikasa up throwing her over his shoulder, “Off we go. I shall carry you inside like a roman.” Armin and Jean made their way up off the floor and Erwin separated the two married lovers informing them that their bags better be packed and ready because they had 15 minutes to do it if not. As Armin passed, Erwin scooped him up into his arms. Armin wrapped his legs around his waist, arms around Erwin's neck as he kissed his throat and let Erwin carry him like a rag doll inside. 

Levi seemed unfazed. Donner had his papers, he’d been packed for almost two weeks since he knew he’d not be at home and had been living out of his knapsack on the bare minimum at Hanji and Mike’s. Eren, however, was now in a drunken sobbing panic because he was not prepared and all he really wanted was McDonalds, of which everyone was drunk and could not get him any. Levi was starting to wonder why he let Eren talk him in to half the shit he let him talk him in to.

************

The limo arrived that would be taking them to the airport, a good idea from Erwin and not Eren. They put their things inside and Donner hoped inside moving up to the front by the driver’s window where he laid down and went to sleep. He’d been awake as long as Levi and needed a break from all of the conflicting emotional stress he’d been around. Levi had a coffee and Advil while Eren ate leftover from their wedding meal as they sat inside the car and began their honeymoon.

Eren was wearing sweats as was Levi since they’d be on the plain for almost nine hours. He put his trash away, chewed some gum, kept an eye on Levi who was reading the newspaper David got him. _The Times Israel_ was delivered weekly but David brought this from work. Eren scooted closer on the seat, “Levi?” Levi gave him a side glance but said nothing, “Levka?” Levi stayed seated firmly and said nothing, “Levi, we’re about to get on a plane for nine hours.” Levi kept reading, “So?” Eren moved in the floor taking the newspaper out of his hands and forcing himself between his legs. He gave him his best puppy dog eyes knowing Levi wouldn’t be able to resist. “So, I don’t know about you but I definitely don’t want to have to wait to consummate our marriage.” 

Levi sighed, “We don’t have any lube.” “I have lube.” “Well,” Levi smirked, “I guess then we’re good.” He surged forward pinning Eren on the floor of the limo while his hands made quick work of Eren’s clothes. Eren started ripping away Levi’s top when he hissed, bucking up into Levi’s cool hand wrapped around his hardening cock. Levi let out a breathy laugh at the small noise Eren let loose in the back of his throat. He attacked his neck with kisses, scorching hot kisses as Eren continued to buck and mewl at the sensation of Levi’s hand working wonders on him. 

Levi turned his wrist, covered the slit, moved up and down, fingers griping at different times for different stimulation, his other hand keeping him above Eren and in control as his mouth found his, lips moving hotly against one another as they shared the same breath, tongues searching out the insides of one another’s mouths and mapping them. Eren’s hands found Levi’s hips, fingernails trailing upwards and around his back over his shoulder blades and then arms. He leaned into Levi he molded to him seamlessly. Eren loved the way he felt against him, the way he felt like coming home.

Eren was brought over the edge as Levi leaned back on his haunches watching Eren’s face as he panted and enjoyed waves of pleasure. Levi stroked his face, “Where is the lube?” Eren nicked his head towards his small carryon bag, “Front pocket.” Levi smirked retrieving it and moving to take his pants off.

Already hard and impressive Eren watched as Levi gave himself a few strokes, sighing and hissing as he did so. Eren spread his legs for him as he coated his fingers. Eren loved for Levi to stretch him, his fingers were like magic as they moved inside of him. Soon he wasn’t uncomfortable with the intrusion but bucking back on them as Levi’s lips covered him drinking in his sounds. 

When they moved together this time it was different, charged with a type of electricity he’d not felt before except maybe the first time he asked Levi to choke him. He was tender, loving, passionate, and moved like a spirit. Eren moved to meet his thrusts, moved to meet his lips, moved to met _him._ It was always Levi, his world revolved around Levi. He was so happy. Maybe that’s why it was different. Maybe Levi now finally felt safe. He had told him a wedding wasn’t important to him but Eren knew it was. He wanted to be acknowledged, publically, as being Eren’s chosen one. Levi wanted it badly because he’d always been denied. In fact, he kept so much to himself about growing up and how he was treated that today was the first time Eren heard his mother’s name, _Kuschel._

Levi, son of Kuschel. They had talked about omitting that part because it was unknown who his father was but then Levi had written something down and David carted it away with him before Eren could see or ask about it. Levi was a mystery, a beautiful brooding one..

Levi held him afterwards, softly, calmly. He stroked his face and whispered things about what he wanted to do when they got to the apartment, what he wanted to eat, what he wanted to do this month. Eren listened, he heard the words but knew he was dancing around something. 

**In France some thirty hours later**

Levi laid back on the pillow covered in sweat, “Well,” his deep voice was smug, “I guess that was one way to christen our French home as a married couple.” Eren still straddled his waist, hands tied, blindfold now around his neck, “I’ll say. You’re a kinky bastard.” Levi chuckled. Eren had noted his laughs were more common and more free lately, “You have no idea.” Eren smirked, “Really?” “There’s not a word for what I wanna do to you. There’s so much I’d do to you if you let me, motek.” Eren smiled, “Untie me, please.” Levi undid the rope as Eren fell to the side of him, hot and sweaty and sticky as he pressed against Levi who cringed slightly, “I like you and your sweat but it’s still disgusting.” Eren giggled kissing his shoulder.

”So when do we start ripping the bathroom out?” “Today. We need to take this week to demo, put up dry wall once we reframe it, look at plumbing, pray about plumbing, sell our first born for plumbing being up to code, and have nightmares about plumbing. Then the professionals come in while we spend the second week picking materials out.” Eren nosed the side of Levi’s shoulder, “Levi?” Levi hummed. “Look at me.” His voice was small and unsure. Levi immediately turned to give him the attention he wanted, “What? Are you okay?” Eren looked up through his lashes, “Levi, would you let me drink your blood?” Levi tried to contain his face, “Why do you want to drink my blood.” Eren continued to look so innocent and cute it hurt, “Because,” he looked down shyly causing Levi’s heart to thump with love, “I wanna be a vampire.” Levi could not control his lips as they turned into a smile, “Eren, I have something to tell you.” 

Eren’s face flushed red as he covered it hiding more into the pillow, “Nooo I’m so weird. This is so awkward. I can’t believe I just said that.” Levi rolled on to his side pulling his hands away and looking at his husbands beautifully flushed face, “I have a secret.” He whispered as Eren started to come around, teeth still gritted and eyes and nose scrunched up, “What?” His voice was so soft and unsure. Levi smiled wickedly, “I want to be a vampire, too. I think I already am.” Eren relaxed a little but he was still unsure, “Really? I didn’t ruin everything? I normally hold the weird stuff back.” Levi felt his face twitch, “I do too, actually. Just how weird are we really? Do we even know one another?” He lowered his voice, smirk slipping into a lopsided grin, “I think we better find out.” He surged forward kissing Eren who giggled against his lips, “Have you ever done it?” 

Levi pulled back, “What?” “That?” “No, that’s disgusting.” “You’ve wanted to, though?” “Yeah.” “With who?” “Well, a few people. Farlan and Isabell but I didn’t notice it till after they came into the marines so I count Erwin as the first, then Hanji, Mike sometimes but it’s odd and sudden and weird. Then you and Armin. Mikasa and Jean and Marco.” “Wow. You’re so sick.” “I know. Are you okay with that?” “I fucking love it.” “What other stuff do you keep from me?” “Sometimes I have nightmares.” Levi deadpanned, “We all have nightmares, Eren.” “That I eat my father.” “Oh.” “To save the world.” 

Levi just starred for a long time before blinking, “You know what? Kinda in to that, not gunna lie.” Eren smiled, “I also have dreams where I’m in a courtroom.” “Why? What for?” “Because I’m like….a shape shifter.” “A….shape…shifter….” “Like, inside of me is the ability to become like….a giant human like the Titans.” “Like the football team in Sina?” “Yeah and I’m on trial.” “Why?” “Because I dunno it scares people.” “Yeah, that makes sense. I can see where they were going with it but putting a titan in a building is a poor choice of venue.” “Sometimes they put me in a castle dungeon.” “Better, kind of. Still poor choice of place to hold a demon.” “I’m a titan, not a demon. God I hate titans.” “Tell me about it. Fucking shit heads. Do they even shit? I’ve never seen one with an asshole.” “No, they don’t produce excrement, Levi.” “That’s….my mind can’t even handle that. We all poop. Pooping is healthy. Unless, you’re catholic and then you need books to encourage you. Do Marco and Jean not poop?” “Oh, believe me, Jean poops. Marco maybe not. Mikasa doesn’t.” “What?” “She’s a girl. Girls don’t poop.” “Bullshit.” “ANY WAY, And this guy, this really hot guy comes and beats the shit out of me while I’m on my knees with my hands in cuffs that are attached to this poll that is put in the ground to keep me there. He beats me and it feels so good but I’m terrified that they’re going to kill me. But, I…” “What?” Levi was really in to this, “spit it out. Don’t hold back, brat.” “I wouldn’t mind if he killed me because _he’s a fucking God._ ” Eren flushed red again covering his face.

Levi thought about it, “I’m jealous.” “You’re hotter, don’t worry.” “I don’t know. Sounds like you got it bad for this guy. What does he look like?” Eren blushed, “He has an undercut, dark hair, piercing eyes, he has this disgusted look on his face and sometimes he just looks bored, and he is on the shorter side.” Eren seemed to mull it over, “Maybe it was you?” Levi snorted, “Yeah, right.” “Jewish tradition supports and doesn’t deny the possibility of reincarnation, you know.” “Yes, my love, I know that but how absurd is that? We are also commanded by Torah not to assume that.” “But Chabad Jews-“ “Which we are not.” “-believe we are recycled to fulfill all 613 Mitzvot and or we were righteous souls who deserved another go.” 

Levi shifted, “Would you ever….like to be that brutal?” Eren took a moment, “In sex? Yeah. I feel like such a freak but I really like pain like that. I have fantasies, where we’re soldiers and you’re obviously my commanding officer and you make me do stuff like fuck myself just using your boot why you read the newspaper. Gun fantasies, knives, and more. I like praise and wouldn’t mind getting into some sort of praise kink routine with you. I love our traditional sex like we had in the limo. I like the sentimental way you make love to me. But, I have an active imagination.” Eren chuckled as Levi rolled his eyes, “You’re 20, all you think about is sex.” Eren looked over, “You’re 28.” Levi shifted, “Mmmmmm no, actually.”

Eren patted his stomach thinking about ripping into the tile in the bathroom when he heard what Levi had actually said, “What the fuck do you mean, no? You just turned 28 in December.” Levi bit his lip, “Actually, that’s a lie. A lie I sometimes forget myself.” “What the fuck is a lie? Your age? Are you older? What?” “I’m younger than Erwin by a year. A full year.” Eren sat up looking at Levi like he had blown his mind, “LEVI YOU HAVE LIED TO ME! I AM YOUR HUSBAND! I GOT A CAKE WITH A 28 ON IT!!!” Levi sat up, “I know, I know, ahuvi calm down. I forget that I’m not even 28.” “No!” Eren screeched, “YOU don’t forget SHIT! You’ve been hiding this from me!” Levi knew he was in trouble, but Eren was always so cute when he was upset like this. It’s not something that would wreck their relationship but because of that he did find humor in it. “Levi, my plans about kids were based off of your age and my plan for our home and I have schedules and thoughts and feelings about it all.” 

_Oh shit, this isn’t good. This is serious now. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck,_ “Eren, wait, are you really mad? Are you really upset? Please tell me straight.” Eren stopped, “What?” Levi started to get upset as Donner came in the room and up on the bed, “Levi oh my God are you going to have an attack?” “I feel like I might if you’re really upset.” “I’m kind of upset but it’s more like I was so locked in to this idea, this time line.” “What time line?” Eren ran his hands through his hair like wild man, “Like, okay at 21 we use the womb and have a kid before I’m 22. Then we wait a few months, maybe 3, use it again, I’m 23, do it again, I’m 24, decided if we want to stop and then by the time I’m 26 maybe we have five kids? You’d be 34 or 35 something like that. Not too old you know? I just want you to have as much time with our kids as possible and grandkids and maybe great grandkids, you know?” 

Levi asked sincerely, “Why?” Eren burst into tears, “Because I feel like you’ve never had the opportunity!” Levi was shocked by his words, “Why? What do you mean?” Eren sobbed, “I don’t know, Levi. I feel like you deserve it. I feel like we deserve it. It’s like you never got to have any or be with me very long and it doesn’t make sense why I feel like this but I FEEL LIKE IT LEVI! I FEEL LIKE WE’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR ENTIRE LIVES AND WE’VE JUST NEVER GOT TO BE FUCKING HAPPY.” 

Eren tried to calm down as Donner licked at his face. He hugged him close, buried his face in his fur, “Do you ever feel like that, Levi? Do you ever feel like our time might be cut short?” Levi moved forward rubbing soothing circles on Eren’s back and arm, “Yeah, I did.” Eren sniffled, “Did?” Puny voice hurting Levi’s heart, “Yeah, until I married you yesterday and then it felt like…like something had clicked into place and now I feel like we’re gunna be just fine, mon amour. Je t’aime.” 

Eren moved into his waiting arms, “But I want to do it, Levi. I want us to start a family. It has to happen soon.” Levi was more than surprised, “Really? So soon? Are you ready for that? I don’t know if you are, Eren. You’re talking five kids, which is a dream for me. I’m sorry if that sounds rude but, are you sure?” Eren looked up, “I am and I know that you can’t wait much longer. I see you with Mila and you’re dying for a child. You’re dying inside each time you have to give her back, that you’re just her uncle, that you don’t have some small little person to teach and cultivate. I really want to pass on the Ackermann name to someone that you can pass on your knowledge to and your traditions and we can be a family, a really good functioning, loving family.”

Levi laughed slightly, “Well, I’ll have to follow your lead. I didn’t have a loving family to use as a guide so.” Eren’s eyes narrowed, something tugging at the corner of him mind, “I would say mine was perfect. I was hoping we could throw out both of our experiences and do it from scratch. Armin told me the other day when we were bonding that he’d always hoped to die alone, end the Arlert name. He would have asked me if we’d been together for kids but I don’t know. Anyway, with Erwin it’s different. He’s so sure. He wants to do things the way he’d wished it had been done in regards to him and his childhood, he wants to be a good parent, a good person. He wants Erwin to have all the things that I want you to have. I really have never been so afraid, excited, and sure in my life about anything.” Levi held Eren closer, kissing his nose, “Well, maybe I can talk with Hanji and see just how well the womb might work in theory.” Eren went a bit stiff, _WHO’S GODDAMN BABY IS IN THAT WOMB I MUST WARN HANJI, _“Do that. Now, let’s rip out the walls.”__

*****************

”That didn’t take that long.” Eren wiped his brow as he sat in the rubble of the bathroom. “I’M SORRY, WERE YOU EVEN AWAKE FOR THAT?” Eren looked innocently at a very frustrated Levi, “You said take the tiles off.” “I said remove the tiles and leave the board behind it!” “You said removed the toilet.” “YES EREN! IN ONE PIECE! WHO SHATTERS IT?” “You said turn the water off.” “BEFORE YOU START DEMOLITION.” “You said look to see if there was hardwood under the floor.” “NOT RIP IT UP BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT IT WAS UGLY! WE CAN RESTAIN HARDWOOD!” “Neshama, should I make you a coffee?” Levi gave him a murderous glare before throwing the hammer at him. Eren narrowly avoided it, “LEVI! WHAT IF THAT HIT ME!?” “I wanted it to.” He deadpanned as Eren gave him a hurt expression, “What if I was carrying your child?” “That would mean a lot of things. None apply here.” “Levi.” “Make coffee.” “Levi?” “Yes?” He was so exasperated, “I think we can do this in a week. Can we look at material today and have this done like…in a week from tomorrow?” Levi wanted to choke him, “No, Eren!” Eren’s lip quivered, he knew if he persisted he would win. “We can go today but the week is absurd.” _I won._

**************

**A week later**

”I can’t believe it.” Levi said in disbelief as Eren turned on the new shower in the [bathroom](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/fd/43/0e/fd430e0ca53ec324411ee7788fe57807.jpg), “I can’t believe we did this and without a crew. How did we do this? Who could do this?” Eren hummed and dance around the room, “Wanna take a bath with me?” He raised an eyebrow inquisitively, “I’ll be sure to make up for how stressful and _dirty_ this week has been.” Levi raised an eyebrow before turning his nose up, “I’ll pass. I need sleep, sleep you’ve denied me for this.” He walked back into the bedroom they had re-designed as well. “What the fuck have I done to my life letting him be the homemaker?” He mumbled to himself as he fell face down on the bed. _I’ve made the best decision ever._


	65. Weiss and Schwarz

**Mikasa and David go on a Cruise.**

The room was on the small side and Mikasa couldn’t help but laugh. It seemed like ever since they had woke up from the wedding David had been, for a lack of a better word, _challenged._ He put her in her bed before falling asleep in the bathroom of his room against the wall on the toilet, something Jean made a big deal out of when Mikasa grew worried that he’d never returned and Jean had looked for him. When Jena’s laughter woke him, David was groggy, and embarrassed. He was so mentally tired and when he went to gather their luggage it was clear that he was physically wiped out from the wedding as well after nearly slipping trying to pick up Mikasa’s bags. She only had three and they’re were normal sized. She wasn’t that much of a princess.

Hannes stopped by with the Jaegers to bring lunch which everyone ate….begrudgingly. David was subjected to more inquisitive questions from her father which made her and Carla exchange curious glances and a few odd remarks on Hannes’ part before it was time for them to leave. He bid them all farewell and Mikasa and David proceeded to head to Atlanta, a hour and a half trip, that somehow turned in to five due to wrecks, traffic, and some sort of disaster that left David turning red as he rerouted for the hundredth time and then mumbled something in Arabic, very surprising to Mikasa but it must have been appropriate, and ripping out an actual map that he used to get them to his apartment by back roads only. She was impressed but knew not to say as much to an upset man. Men were finicky. 

At the apartment they gathered important papers a colleague had shipped over to them express. It had been about seven or eight hours since they’d even spoken but Mikasa felt like they’d discussed everything in the world through their comfortable and seamless understanding. However, Mikasa was always wanting to know more about David. Often she became bored with people after a while, figuring them out quickly, assessing their level of threat. She watched as he clearly tried not to let his bad mood affect her and it touched her, truly; “David?” He looked at her grabbing his keys, “It’s okay to bitch about things. Don’t act like you have to keep that to yourself. I like to bitch about things from time to time myself. Like, how fucked up was it that my parents showed up when we were all hung over and just wanted to sleep?” David smiled despite himself, “I’ll hit you with a lot of bitching later. Are you ready?” She nodded grabbing her purse and taking his keys, “I’ll drive, you sleep.” He loved her more than words.

Once they got to the hotel they were told that check in had passed and they gave the room to another person. David was livid and then something was said she didn’t catch and she thought he might choke the man. They ended up going to another hotel where David just didn’t fit. The bed was too short, the shower too small, the ceiling too low. Mikasa thought he was a champ for putting up with everything he had. She had been required to get a lot of information on his behalf for him to be admitted to the convention. It was rather peculiar and she hadn’t had to go through near the amount of paper work. A secretary told her it was because she was already on a list as a possible guest due to Ms. Kirschstein’s meticulous records and listing of Mikasa as partner. Still it was odd.

Mikasa looked over at David, he had changed into sweats in the bathroom and he looked like he could drop dead. “Mikasa, I’ll just sleep on the floor. You take the bed and try to get comfortable. Just give me one of the blankets.” Mikasa jerked her head up, “No, David, please I’ll-“ “No, just give the blanket and a pillow. Don’t try to argue with me about this.” He took the things she gave him in silence and laid on the dirty hard floor. She let it rest. They would be getting up in about five hours to head to the dock.

They were awoke two hours later due to a fire alarm. David stood outside with Mikasa for almost two more hours, holding her close to shield her from the chill of the night. He was silent but it spoke volumes to her and how annoyed with the overall situation he was, “David?” He shook his head and she closed her mouth, “Let’s head back inside.” He pulled her gently along the way putting her back in the bed before laying down for an hour.

Now they were finally in the [room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/85/b0/b8/85b0b83a2fab5863eaa90ba25cbde259.jpg) and it was small. Not too small really but normal standards but still it wasn’t the room they had been assigned previously when she checked. That room was on the deck, spacious, and rich. This was lower down in the ship, the view was nice but it wasn’t on the deck where could walk out and that bothered her. Mikasa didn’t like feeling trapped and that made her anxious. She didn’t really mind everything else but worried David would feel trapped in smaller space too since he had also seen what their other room would be like. He wasn’t a petty man so she had nothing to worry about as he walked in sighing with a tired small, “Mikasa?” He asked putting their things away, “Yes?” He removed his jacket, “Would you mind terribly if I went to sleep?” She smiled, “I’m going to do the same. We have a dinner each night. Everything else is just for fun or if you, you know, make a connection and want to spend time with them. But right now everyone will be doing what we are doing, sleeping.” She changed and then crawled over on the bed as he followed her. They didn’t share a bed often, despite having dated for so long. They still hadn’t slept together, either. Something they were both happy taking slow in the beginning but now Mikasa had reached a point of surety that was begging her to get on with it. She was pretty sure David was the one for her, the one she would be with for a long time. 

Many hours later she awoke. Mikasa moved closer to David as she started to wake up, too. Her favorite part of sleeping next to him was not only the wealth of warmth he offered her in her small [sleeper](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e2/af/0c/e2af0c864799cd978073eaded1b78e24.jpg) set but the way he wrapped his arms around her protectively pulling her against him. He would do this, then sigh like he was so satisfied it made her chest fill with butterflies from how special she felt. With him she felt like nothing could get her, like when a child covers their head with a blanket so monsters can't get them late at night in their room.

She opened her eyes looking at his sweet face carved from stone, hair inky and to the side, lips pink and full, firm and defined, and his chest so sturdy rose and fell with each breath in the cool air and bluish black silence of the darkened room. She managed to figure out what time it was and decided that showering and ordering a quick snack before the lengthy networking dinner would be best. She was always forgetting to eat before these things and by the time dinner came she felt shameful for nearly wiping her plate clean or worse, staring in pity when it was something she hated.

She moved forward kissing his forehead before inching down towards the end and off the bed. She grabbed her lounge clothes and went to take a shower. When she walked back out the light was on and David was tipping the room service man, "I figured we needed to eat something before tonight." "Thank God. I was just going to call." "They have an extensive menu for all their patron's taste." "Any fancy Israeli wine that I like? I am always pleased you keep me well stocked." David chuckled, "You do know your wine. And no, not these folks." She tilted her head, "Why not?" He didn't say anything but instead laid back on the bed while she towel dried a bit more of her hair, "They and the last hotel are a part of the BDS movement. The group that boycotts Israel. I'd rather not waste my breath on them and their bigotry and misguided ill-informed hate." She had heard of them, "They demand the marking of Israeli goods, correct?" "They demand that and more. First our goods and then what else? Are they going to make us wear the star again? They act like workers who make these goods are oppressed and solely Arabic, as if we don’t have Jews working alongside them, _Quatsch!_ , and that the pay they receive isn’t more than three times what they’d make in the strip." Mikasa never saw him really get snippy or upset. He wasn’t at her and she was thankful, "Mmm I'll keep an eye out for more information. A cruise line shouldn't be catering to one group over others. Bad for business, you know?" He looked at her and smiled, "Yes, bad for business.” He pulled the blanket over him, “I got you chicken tenders." His smirk was small but noted. She laughed, "Are you ever going to let that go?" He smiled more, "No."

David had taken Mikasa to see the Russian Ballet in Atlanta one night as a surprise. They had enjoyed themselves and were invited to a dinner with a few of David's colleagues. Dinner, however, was more like a cocktail hour with fruit and nuts that left Mikasa spinning trying to keep up with David's limitless drinking ability. She didn't know he had developed a high tolerance to guard against potential terrorist attempts to weaken his resolve under questioning. She was thoroughly drunk by the end of the night when they left. David knew this but wanted to take advantage a bit. On the drive back David asked if she'd like to go to a bar and she said yes. This led to them meeting a few people from his work and then they decided to walk across a few streets to play laser tag past midnight, something Mikasa desperately wanted to do again after seeing a glimpse of David in military mode. 

At three in the morning all Mikasa wanted was food and to go home and cuddle with David. She demanded that they go to Arby's. He pulled up and asked her what she wanted and she had insisted on a roast beef sandwich and chicken tenders. When he told her chicken tenders were not served at Arby’s she became irate, or as irate as Mikasa could outwardly become. He ordered them knowing full well they knew she was drunk and he would just keep the bag closed till they got home. She'd forget. No worries. Once at the window they asked if they wanted any sauce and Mikasa demanded 48 packets, exactly 48. David laughed shaking his head but she was serious. He had them give him exactly 48 packets before they left. Reaching into the bag she realized there were no chicken tenders and she started to cry. David tried to soothe her but he ended up stopping somewhere there were chicken tenders to get them for her.

She started eating her food while she let his sit in the bag and he watched as she proceeded to get sauce all over herself and her nice clothes. He had never been so in love with her as she sucked the sauce from one packet and applied another packet to her tenders. She was drunk and adorable. Singing at the top of her lungs Ke$ah songs and whatever else trash was on these days with the window down, her hair flying around her, eyes slightly closed, grays reflecting the colors of the night. When they got home they finished eating, she grabbed a hold of him curling up in his lap and fell asleep. He leaned back on the couch stroking her back as the news played until he fell asleep. They woke up hours later. David was sticky from the sauce and smelled like BBQ chicken. It was the perfect date in his opinion but Mikasa was mortified. 

Now David was watching as she discreetly pulled on one of his button ups, “Why have you stolen my shirt.” She smiled, “So I can do my makeup.” He didn’t understand, “What?” She gave him a sarcastic exasperated look, “Because once you do your makeup and hair you can just unbutton it and not mess anything up.” He nodded, “That’s very clever. You women are very clever.” She snorted, “Thanks. What are you wearing tonight?” “Whatever you packed me and whatever works for you. I am here to make you look good and spend time with you. I am also selfishly here to make sure some handsome designer doesn’t steal you in Sweden .” He laughed stretching more in the bed, “You should have stayed in bed longer.” Mikasa had wanted to stay in longer but she felt like she smelled, “You should take a shower and wake up fully. I’ll eat my chicken tenders while you do.” 

***********

[David](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a8/a9/1c/a8a91c53d34f2610df17d31386e69022.jpg) and [Mikasa](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/99/63/cf/9963cf2e5ed732b32b83cb7a3666950f.jpg) were a sight to be seen as they walked into the ball room of other venders and clients. She had prepared, as was customary for this showcase specifically, a small book of her work that was discreet enough to fit in David’s inside coat pocket and if asked she could show it to some of the other guests. It was more risky to not walk with a huge package but this was a sea of big fish and making a mark took more than a big book. It took wearing something that got people talking and that’s what she and David were doing.

Tonight they were sitting with a group from Europe, mostly Denmark and France where David and Mikasa felt very much at home. There was a couple of nautical conservatives, a few French chics, and a flashy punk couple who had been working since the 70s together. They were married partners and had interesting ideas about textures that Mikasa enjoyed. But, mostly, the table was relaxed and funny. The humors blended well and David started to open up more letting Mikasa witness a side she’d never got to see much of. He was a socially likable person, if not a bit dry sometimes, and Mikasa enjoyed that after Annie.

Mikasa was approached by a woman, a Ms. Weiss, who wanted to see Mikasa’s book if she had one. It was something that David was happy to hand over and wished Mikasa luck as she was swept away to their table. The Weiss fashion empire was well known, so was the Schwarz. The two names were almost synonymous in many aspects. Most assumed they were competitors and they’d want you to think that since a lot of money was to be had from good and bad press. They all were called Ms. or Mr. Weiss and Ms. Or Mr. Schwarz which was one of the more peculiar quirks of the empire and people who became a part of it. How many designers had lost themselves to the collective ambiguity?

Worn by many in the notable Reiss family who had started coming back on the radar of those in the embassy for suspicious money transfers, David had done his homework and was curious what Mikasa thought of them. He had approached Armin one day, innocently enough, asking if he knew anyone in the family but Armin seemed perplexed. David knew that he had and that his church was associated with the clan but that was also for him to know and Armin to eventually reveal. It was later that Erwin took him aside and into Levi’s office that the three settled in for a long talk on how due to trauma and perhaps forced amnesia Armin and Eren had a fuzzy picture of what had happened in their childhood. David was fearful something similar had happened to Mikasa but was unsure how to approach it.

Mikasa returned slightly flushed, “They love my book and want to meet for lunch tomorrow. We’re going to probably go with them to the rock climbing wall too, before hand though. Afterwards doesn’t make sense but if we go then I might meet the guys at Sina Sensations.” David nearly choked on his beer, “Sina _sensations_? What a name.” Mikasa rolled her eyes, “They’re from Sina. They thought it was catchy. But, I want to meet with them because they have a huge following in the state and I could get my stuff in their stores and the stores in Maria. Magnolia is the big deal in Maria and they’re here too.” David smirked, “You want to play the field, pit competitor against competitor. I see your game, Miss Ackermann, and I like it. Prost.” They clinked their drinks to a successful first night.

****************

**Later in the trip**

Mikasa and David woke up as the sun filtered in. She nuzzled against his chest as his hands moved up and down her side and back soothingly, tauntingly. “David?” She said softly. He was enjoying having her close, having her to himself for 3 more days and then for their time on the continent, “Mikasa?” “I’m afraid of open water.” He hummed, “In a way I am, too.” “No, David, I am terrified. I kind of lose myself and get too emotional to think straight.” “Why are you telling me this?” “Because I agreed to go jet skiing with Weiss today.” “After the rock climbing incident on our second day and then we had the incident with her bursting into the private after dinner cocktail hour with the group from Russia where she threw up!?” They had been booked solid with requests for drinks with people from all over and Weiss had found that undesirable. She really wanted to work with Mikasa. “I know. But, they cheated and she’s been runnin’ that mouth. We need to show them up here and establish our dominance.” “Don’t you think that might hurt your contract chances. Also, damn, that was so cut throat. It was like Armin and Levi were here speaking out of your pretty mouth.” “Schwarz wants to meet with us tonight. You know they’re rivals.” “Oh, I see, Miss Ackermann, you are devious.” “Do you think so?” “Yes, yes I do.” “What else do you think?” 

David stopped his movements, “I believe you are the most beautiful woman who has ever existed and I cannot believe you are here right now with someone so unworthy.” Mikasa moved her head to look at him, “We should sleep together sometime on this trip, you know?” David flushed, cheeks pink and warm, “Yes ma’am. I’d like that.” She laid back down sighing, “We meet Nina and Kurt for brunch and then jet skis. I hope you enjoy today, Mr. Lavie.” David smiled, “I’m sure I will.”

**************

”Come on! You can go faster!” W, what they were calling Ms. Weiss, yelled from her ski. Mikasa held on to David after her ski ran out of gas due to a neglectful employee, and David had had to pull a nearing hysteria Mikasa out of the water. “I’m sorry.” She mumbled in to his back, “I don’t know why water freaks me out like this. I love to swim, am a good swimmer, but only in pools or near shores. I freeze in open water.” He shifted his weight, “It’s honesty not a problem, Miki.” She snorted, “Miki…..that’s Eren’s nickname. Gunna have to get you your own.” He chuckled, “Think about it while I beat this bitch.” Mikasa started to actually laugh as he took off on the pre-set course.

David was ruthless as he skirted around the buoys beating out a few others who’d been invited along. Mikasa and David had proven quiet the interesting couple and they were the talk of the new fashion generation as well as the old. Mikasa had been flattered that literally everything she’d worn that she’d created was being bought off her back. The Swedish girl, Maggie, of _Mags and Max_ had nearly pulled her [swimsuit](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/0c/93/6e/0c936e8f423a4d48ea5c43c9ff4cc282.jpg) off of her with envious glee. W had almost done the same. 

The day had been fun and occasionally, since the water was so beautiful, Mikasa had forgotten they were in the middle of an ocean. As David took off on the jet ski like a duck taking to water, she found herself calming even more. He was really competitive but he didn’t know it. Levi and he were intense fighters and watching them spar was like watching a master’s class. This was no different. It was something, his laugh, his smile, his tattoos that molded to his body. Mikasa had been a little caught off guard that he had them when she first caught a glimpse. Levi’s had also shocked her. They didn’t seem the tattoo types, especially David.

David had a beautiful body, a beautiful soul, and beautiful tattoos. Mikasa felt herself become hot as she held on tighter to him. He was tensing up so much, muscles in his back twitching, and she could hear him hum deeply in his chest, a rumble like thunder or an earthquake. He was heady and heavy. She heard his exhale sharply as the ski came to a stop and the waves lifted them and dropped them back down into the trough of the water. It surged up, holding the ski and them in itself, a giant body of something so large and powerful ,beautiful and deadly. How many millions of creatures swam beneath them? It was like if the sky was below you and tangible like liquid silver.

”Yes!” He hissed as W came to a stop behind them. Her face sour but she tried to contain it. “Well, you win Mr. Lavie. _Jewish luck, I guess._ ” Her words were innocent but not the tone. Mikasa’s eyes narrowed, “I believe our time is up here. It’s been a few hours.” David was thankful Mikasa was just as annoyed as his was by those words. “W, would you like me to lead or shall I follow you? We must go single form into the dock.” He gritted out, politeness sharp like a knife. She didn’t seem to catch his subtle message of warning, “You can lead me.” She smiled moving to get behind them, “Just don’t wander. We don’t have enough gas for 40 minutes let alone 40 years.” Mikasa wanted to drown her.

*******************

The table with Schwarz would be a who’s who of high fashion. David wasn’t invited. “I can’t believe that they’d be that rude to tell me I can’t bring my date?” Mikasa said under her breath as they got back in the room. Nina, Kurt, Maggie, and one of the French designers who knew Ms. Kirschstein well, Simone, not to be confused with Armin’s ex-wife, something Mikasa found extremely humorous, had all met them and informed them that if David didn’t like his table tonight he could come sit with any of them. There were assigned seats each night unless you were invited, a way to keep everyone mingling, to a privately paid for table, which most high up designers had, and David was assigned to table “yellow,” alone and without anyone of their previous acquaintances. The last night you could sit with whomever as long as the tables were not full.

David had thanked them as they set up a few more events for the remaining four days. Now they were drinking some water and eating fruits after spending the day in the hot sun and salty waters, Mikasa’s pale skin now showing a slight tan as she pulled her cover up off and over. David tried to not to openly gawk at her and objectify her but she was his flame and he a simple moth. Her curves were decadent and soft against her toned abdomen and arms. Her legs strong and capable, shapely and womanly. She was sketched by the hand of God, he was sure. “David, you’re staring.” “I cannot help myself. I am so sorry but please, just let me look at you.” She giggled, “I never meant you had to stop. But don’t look at my thighs.” She nervously covered them with the cover up standing before the bathroom door popping a few grapes in her mouth as she prepared to shower. He needed one as well but had washed off well in the outside shower at the portable dock. “What? Why not?” 

David was really perplexed as a very confidant Mikasa turned squirmy as she blushed all over, “Because they’re fat,” she mumbled quietly, eyes cast downwards. David couldn’t believe what he was hearing, “You’re thighs are not fat. Besides, I believe the youth call them thick and I firmly believe that “thick thighs save lives.” She blushed an even deeper shade of red, “David! Oh my God!” She laughed, smiling as she threw her cover up at him. “I mean, I’m not going to turn down anyone that looks as beautiful as you. Personally, I would imagine it to be comfortable between them.” David stopped as soon as the words left his mouth. “I did not mean to say that.” Mikasa looked like she was going to explode from laughter and nervous anxiety, “No,” she choked out around giggles, her voice higher in pitch, “that was very much violation of David Lavie’s _rules to being proper._ But, I’m not going to lie, I liked it’s frankness and promise.” He smiled feeling even more in sync with her, “I should be more open and humorous with you, shouldn’t it?” She smiled wickedly, “Yes, god yes.”

David smirked, “You should hurry and take a shower.” Mikasa nicked her head to the side, smirk at the corner of her mouth, “Oh? Why?” He ate a piece of pineapple fruit, “Because after I get out I’ll want to make out for bit. Sand in the bed isn’t sexy, Mikasa.” She laughed, “Not where I thought that was going but that’s fine. I’ll make it quick.” ************** 

[David](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ea/65/fe/ea65febb7b7989ff89162b37c2c0742c.jpg) escorted her to the table where Mr. Schwarz and his other employees were located. He was a handsome man, raven haired, full nicely trimmed beard, about 40, well manicured in general. He had once been a model and then after retiring he took up the needle and thread. He looked at Mikasa like he could eat her and David suppressed a growl as he stood to take [Mikasa’s](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/b5/2e/2e/b52e2e15dd89d0995c17c9e97ef7503f.jpg) arm and lead her to her seat and away from David. David headed to the yellow table fully prepared to come back and feign illness to get her to leave. He didn’t like that man, not one bit.

David walked to the “yellow” table and noted with some surprise that this was an invite only table paid for by a patron. He approach cautiously noting that Mikasa’s seat was listed and open for her. David looked up as the table of couples turned around, “David Lavie? We’ve been waiting! Shalom Shalom!” The entire table raised their glasses chorusing. David smiled, “Well, I feel much better about this whole thing.” The table laughed and he sat down to what was a wonderful table full of wonderful people, mostly Jews from Asia and the Middle East, and good humored at that.

************

After dinner Eli and his wife Shoshana demanded that they all meet tomorrow for brunch. David agreed wholeheartedly. Eli told him they’d be requesting them for dinner again so not to worry, the women were all very interested to meet Mikasa and see her books. There was one couple, India and Rebecca who were on the cutting edge of Israeli fashion and the Orthodox Chaya who was traveling with her brother Rabin wanted to speak with her more about possibly doing a collaboration. It was looking like this table would provide Mikasa with a lot of opportunities to work in the Middle East and Asia. David was secretly happy about that.

He found Mikasa outside on the deck looking at the water as Mr. Schwarz approached, “Tomorrow, let’s have lunch.” She stood up straighter, “I’ll have to check with my boyfriend to make sure that we’re free.” David came up quicker, “We actually have brunch and dinner plans for tomorrow.” Mr. Schwarz turned to face him, lips curled in a sneer he repressed quickly, “Then cocktails before dinner. We’d like to make an offer. Let’s say the Ocean Bar at 4 O’Clock sharp.” He walked away as Mikasa looked at his card. She leaned over the railing and let it fall into the wave, “I’m not a fan. I’ll go to hear the offer, but I’m not a fan.” David wrapped his arms around his waist pulling her close, “Why?” She pursed her lips, “I’d rather not talk about it. Let me compile my thoughts first.” He hummed putting his nose against her head and smelling her hair, it smelled like oranges.

Mikasa had hated almost every second of that meal. Now her emotions were even more in turmoil but one thing was certain, she loved David Lavie and she would not stand for any who didn’t treat him right. “Take me to the room, David.” He turned her around, hands moving to her shoulder, “You sure? The night is young. We could get to know a few more people.” He offered hoping to catch some of the yellow table people and turn her from upside down. She leaned up slightly, “I’d rather get to know you better.” David pulled her to his side walking back to the room.

**************

Mikasa leaned in closer to David, her hands slowly pulling his shirt up and out of his pants. Fingers undoing buttons to reveal his toned stomach and abs. His [tattoos ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/c9/d0/bb/c9d0bbce48482211dfdfc82b05e71a78.jpg)on his side peeking out from the edges of the fabric. She was breathing just as deeply as he was, his broad shoulders and sturdy back against the wall inside the room near the door. He looked down, breath hot as it came out and blew across her face. “What’s this one?” Her finger touched the top one on his ribs, “It’s the star of David.” She nodded, “Mhm,” her voice was low and sensual, “but the lion inside?” “It’s the lion of Judah.” His long lashes cast shadows on his cheeks, “And this one?” Her finger nail sharp against his skin trailed slowly down to the writing beneath, “What’s this one say?”

David’s skin was hot to the touch as her other hand moved up her own body between them, touching and rubbing her curves to his delight, his mouth was dry as he watched her cup her breast, “There will be no redemption of the world without a redemption of Israel.” Her hand smoothed against his side up and down before resting on the last one in the series, “And this is Israel.” He thought her voice should be forbidden, how it sounded right now, this side of her, this could destroy the world. She was like siren and he had fallen prey to her song, her song of the deep blue waters that crashed upon the shores. He had never felt like this, this overwhelming sense of nostalgia. _”I’m the hunter and the fisherman and I’m trying to remember when…”_ It was almost as if they’d been fated here on these waters to come together in the moonlight and express little sins and write love on one another’s skin.

Mikasa’s breath hitched as his hands suddenly grabbed her hips pulling her closer. He leaned down kissing her, searing his lips with her white hot touch. She tasted like the orange candies Ms. Ackermann used to make for him when he’d come by. He deepened the kiss, tongues searching out and mapping her mouth. She tasted like the sweet crème he’d made on the Kibbutz when he was 18. She smelled like honey and rain, like the cypress trees in fall, like grapes in the spring. His hands had her pinned against him, one hand sliding up into her hair to hold her still. Her tongue danced with his skillfully. He thought that she must be a dream, he thought he must have found paradise.

Mikasa pulled back as they both tried to take in air. She smiled, “I’m not done with you.” Her tone playful as she removed his shirt completely, letting it fall where his jacket was. Her hands darted down, skillfully making short work of his belt and pants. They fell leaving him looking God like in only his tight briefs. She could see much more of him than ever before like this. Her eyes glinted as she caught sight of another tattoo that had eluded her, “What’s this?” She bit her lip coyly, fingers on the hem of his briefs on his hip as she slowly pulled the elastic down revealing more and more toned, tan, taunt, skin. She had the overwhelming urge to take her tongue and lick along the hip flexor and lavish his skin with affection from her mouth. His breath hitched as the fabric started to pull downwards on his hardening erection revealing him to her. He put his hand over hers before she revealed him completely, top of his cock pinned by the elastic, “A Japanese [dragon](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/81/fb/80/81fb80eeeed383117cafc683cabd41a5.jpg) I got on a trip to Japan. I had it done before I went in deep undercover in Syria and Lebanon.” 

”And the others?” Her voice breathy and alluring but honestly curious. “Here and there mostly in Israel. I got the Khatan Suikh in Mongolia since I wanted one to remind me of my time there as a child. Levi was with me. I lost a bet.” She moved closer her lips nearly pressing against his chest, hot breath tickling him and making warmth pool in his lower stomach, “I didn’t think it would be okay to have tattoos doing what you do.” He took her face in his hands somewhat roughly as his voice ground out gruff, aroused, and serious, “It’s not. I have to keep them hidden but they’re a part of me.” “Where is the Khatan Suikh?” “On my ass.” He said with a smirk and a smug voice. She laughed shortly, quietly, “Why?” “Because that was part of the bet. Levi picked placement.” She surged forward kissing him again as she moved against him. He pushed his knee between her legs hiking her dress up as she ground down on him. They moved against one another for a few minutes, time slowing down. She made a small plaintive sound in the back of her throat after he pulled away to look at her.

His hands smoothed down to her sides to rest on her bottom where he took the mounds and kneaded them. She kissed him more passionately, hands tangled in his hair as he walked her backwards to the bed. David used his size to his advantage cover her and leaving her breathless before he pushed her back on to the comforter. She was flushed, cheeks pink, eyes glassy, panting sweetly. He turned her over unzipping the hidden zipper and small buttons before slipping his fingers in stroking shortly and softly the sweet skin. Mikasa sighed in bliss as he rolled her back over and pulled her dress off of her. 

She sat up more, removing her bra as he watched with interest. She smiled as he took her hands away from her body and kissed her while his own larger and rougher hands cupped her breasts pushing her down on the bed and kissing her till she couldn’t think straight. His thumbs rubber her nipples, moved her breasts and massaged them making her hum in appreciation. Her hands touched the top of his briefs again and she worked them down his hips, using her feet she pulled them off of him and enjoyed the sight of his gracious endowed sex. He smirked when she whistled softly, blushing and kissing his way down her body.

He pulled her panties down and off of her legs as he settled at the end of the bed kissing the inside of her thighs, “You’re beautiful, Mikasa.” He murmured against her skin as she started to pant more, breaths shallow, her head started to spin as he blew on her folds, his lips grazing against them moving up and down as he continued blowing and massaging the sensitive flesh inside her thighs. She had never had such care taken before and she was already dripping by the time he finished teasing her with more air, kisses, and light penetration with his tongue.

If there was something David was not good at then she’d have to find out what it was. He was pretty much perfect in every way to Mikasa. She had worried it would be like with Jean, love and friendship, but something would lack when it came to sex. That was banished from her mind as David started to lick, suck, and effectively fuck Mikasa’s brains out. He was amazing, better with his mouth than she could have hoped for. He had her seizing up, moaning unabashedly, shaking, her hands fisted in the sheets as his tongue worked wonders around her sensitive bud and dove deeply inside of her. He added his fingers after a while and Mikasa thought she’d die from what he was doing to her. 

Her back arched when he crooked his fingers inside of her rubbing and applying pressure on just the right spot. She couldn’t ever remember this spot getting attention before and it had her legs quivering as he worked her. She would moan and hear him occasionally make pleased noises with her which spurred her on. He brought his free hand and arm up to wrap around her leg and rested his hand on her stomach splaying his fingers wide as he applied slight pressure. She felt herself on the edge and with a few more well placed pumps of his fingers and the insistent sucking on her clit she gave in, let her orgasm wash over her, perhaps moan too loudly for their neighbors comfort, and then she felt the most satisfied and satiated feeling she’d had in a long, long time. 

She closed her eyes focused on the feeling and the way her sweat cooled slightly on her body as he licked up the rest of her and helped her ride it all out. David Baatar Lavie was a god and she was happy he was hers. She opened her eyes, rolled her head to the side to see him better. He pulled away, mouth shinny, face flushed and aroused, he kissed the backs of her thighs before wiping his face, “I’d say,” he rested his head against her thigh, “your thighs are just right for my tastes, Mikasa.” She let out a small giggle, “Well, tonight is going to be a lot of fun. Get a condom from my purse.” He didn’t seem too surprised as he went and retrieved a few throwing the rest on the side table. She leaned forward, still light headed but determined to make him feel as good as he made her feel. She opened the condom looking at his erection, “I don’t think this is the right size. Huh….never had that happen.” He blushed as she looked around, “There were some others by the snack bar.” She moved to retrieve the right ones, “These are better.” “That says flavored?” “I know. How tacky?” He smirked, “Too tacky for you.” She hummed, “It’ll have to do.” 

She took him in her hands and rolled the condom on, making sure to do it slowly and tease him. He hissed and she leaned down licking the tip before taking him in her mouth. She did her best, rolling her tongue against the underside, twisting her mouth in cork screw fashion as she tried to make him feel as good as he had made her feel. She wasn’t normally someone who was very interested in sex. She had spoke at length with Jean about it when they were having problems getting things to come alive in the bedroom. Jean had been patient, he had tried to please her, and they had decided she was either a lesbian or some sort of demi sexual or aro or ace or well, they hadn’t landed on anything really but broken hearts.

David was shaking, controlling himself, as she showed him such tender and hot affection. He didn’t want to buck into her mouth and hurt her or worse make her stop. He was currently experiencing heaven on earth and couldn’t stop looking at her lithe back, curved heart shape bottom as she moved her legs under her resting on her knees, and the way her head looked from above, lush dark hair heavy with weight and shiny in the light. She bobbed off, trail of saliva still connecting them. He wanted to feint. He took her face in his hands, leaned down to kiss her and push her back up the bed where he covered her with his body.

Mikasa sighed as he pulled away looking at her, admiring her, committing her to memory. They were inside of the fire, hot and scorching. He leaned closer, face serious, “I sometimes misjudge my own strength. I don’t want to hurt you.” She wrapped her arms behind his neck, “You’re not going to hurt me. I’m not a ragdoll. Throw me around if you want.” Her legs spread wider as he reached down under her bottom lifting her hips up. His sex stood proudly, moving against her wet opening where he teased her and himself moving slightly inside as she prepared herself for the intrusion. He was firm but gentle as he slid inside in a smooth motion. She wrapped her legs around his waist feeling him inside. He moaned one long deep moan that set her skin on fire with heat, made her thighs quiver, lips part as she inhaled sharply. Her hands tangled in his hair pulling gently as he kissed her neck and collar bone. 

” HaShem, thank you.” Mikasa moved down on him, whining. He groaned, tightening his hands on her waist, “David, please move. I need you to move. Please.” He did as he was told, pulling out slowly before pushing back inside, making shallow strokes feeling her out and enjoying himself despite being so close to the edge. His pace increased, he was a determined lover, rough in the right ways and impressive in many others. She let her head roll back and to the side, look of pleasure and relief on her face. David took that as a good sign as she moved with him in tandem.

They were electric together. David had never thought this would be something he’d ever experience in his lifetime. Outside of the sexually restricted religious life he’d thought he’d be resigned to, he’d actually seldom had a sexual experience that was _good_. But, he’d also never wanted to devour anyone like Mikasa. He enjoyed the female form, liked performing oral sex and would do so at any opportunity. He liked being presented the opportunity to satisfy and exceed the physical expectations of his lover. Mikasa was almost hand carved for him, made from his own rib for him to worship and cherish.

They were so enraptured by one another, consumed, that they didn’t even notice when they hit wall, went over the edge, lost themselves in one another so completely. David and Mikasa felt it inside of them, something like serendipity. Fate had led them here and it’s here they would enjoy themselves throughout the night pleasuring one another and learning about one another.

***************

In the cool dawn David opened his eyes after falling asleep again while Mikasa laid on her stomach, legs in the air behind her crossed as she traced his side and around to his back. “Where did you get this one?” She’d been looking at his scars. He smiled, “I was stabbed in Cairo.” She bit her lip, hands smoothing over his skin, “And this one?” She whispered, “this one is really faint and must be old.” David chuckled, “I got that one in Williamsburg, fighting bullies.” She giggled, “Yours?” “No.” “Who’s?” “Levi’s.” “Ah, well he’s come a long way and so have you.” “Tell me about it. I’m on a boat with the most beautiful and talented woman in the world.” Mikasa giggled, “Shut up.”

She was excited about the day and was a bit sad that after it she would only have two more with him contained on this floating oasis. She stroked his hair till he fell back asleep. They’d really gone at it and now she needed to prepare for what was going to be a huge day and possible showdown between Weiss and Schwarz. Her phone started to beep as Eren flooded her phone with texts. She answered them back and forth, smiling at the screen and so happy that right now everything was turning up roses for her, Eren, and her friends and family. She had no idea that today would be no walk in the park.


	66. Kronor

**France that night around Midnight**

Eren plopped down on the couch. They had just had a very interesting and upsetting day. One in which Levi was now in the shower, head probably against the tile, body leaning against it as well, and hair parting down the center as water ran down in thick threads over his face and parted lips. Eren laid, nose in the cushion, thinking about going in there and joining him or at least sitting on the toilet like he sometimes did when he showered but without shitting like Levi took the liberty of doing, “ _Kills two birds with one stone. Shitting is important, Eren._ ” But, he didn’t because Levi needed space and he needed to think about the implications of what today had revealed.

Eren was still in the dog house after all the shit he pulled during the renovation. Levi had slept all day and Eren was curious how Mikasa’s trip was going. He had texted her and got a pretty interesting update that she and David were very popular and enjoying their time together. She sent him a text of her next to a sleeping David, holding her fingers up in a peace sign, and he noted that she and David didn’t look like they’d just been sleeping and noted the lack of straps that could have proven she wasn’t nude. They had two more days after this one and then they’d stay in Sweden for a while….possibly having overdue sexual experiences. He immediately called Armin to gossip.

Armin and Erwin were sorely missed but Eren had been handling it well and successfully distracted Levi with her antics to keep him from noticing the lack of Erwin. He hated when he got sick about him not being there. After skyping with Armin, who was in a bubble bath leaning back against Erwin’s chest as he read a book, he hung up walking in to the bedroom crawling in the bed with his beautifully handsome husband that he could now openly call husband and proceeded to kiss him awake.

Levi started to wake up, lips moving by instinct alone as Eren started to run his hands all over his body and caress him awake. Levi’s eyes opened, breathing shallow, “Eren!” It was a soft exclamation, “Eren, what are you doing?” His voice was amused more than anything. Eren smiled kissing him softly, taking his bottom lip between his teeth and gently pulling. Levi closed his eyes humming into the kiss. 

Eren pulled away, “Let’s go get brunch, Neshama.” Levi opened his eyes smiling, “Let’s.”

*********** 

Eren and Levi walked hand and hand down the street in the orthodox district. Eren licked his ice cream cone as he pointed time from time to things he wanted Levi to notice. They laughed, talked, stopped to kiss sweetly on the street as other lovers passed and smiled. They turned down an older street when Eren saw that it held some pretty buildings with iron fences unlike anywhere else in the city. Levi snorted, rolling his eyes as they turned. Eren skipped along asking about the history and making comments. Levi held Donner’s leash tightly as he came to a sudden stop. Eren continued on until his arm was pulled back. He stopped looking at Levi who was frozen in place, pale and horror stricken. Eren looked to where he was staring.

An older man, Orthodox Rabbi more than likely, was stopped as well in front of his home, hand on the iron grate door of his building as he also stared at Levi unwavering. Eren became very confused, he was shit in situations like this. He had no idea what was going on or how he should re-act. Donner whined pitifully and Eren could relate. The man stood up straighter, smoothing his hand down his black jacket before motioning for them to come closer. Eren stayed planted firmly on the sidewalk until Levi moved forward.

As they approached the man adjusted his glasses and Levi’s hand in Eren’s shook with such force Eren dropped his cone and covered it with his other hand, “Levi….Winter. Levi Winter is back in France.” Eren’s brow furrowed. Levi opened his mouth, throat dry, “Winter isn’t….I’m Ackermann.” The Rabbi nodded, “Not to me. I remember Levi Winter who learned his letters before the other boys and could read Torah portions at age 2 and a half despite barely talking. Unheard of and I’ve never seen such again. Levi Winter laughed and played in the floor of my house while his mother dusted and cleaned for me when my wife was ill. Levi Winter and Mila Pfefferburg were the two most beautiful children in the shul on Saturdays and they were favored to marry one day.” He looked at Eren, staring intently, slight trace of confusion. disgust and, perhaps, pity. He returned to Levi, “It’s not right, me talking to you. But, I’ve secretly asked all these years that HaShem bring us together again for I have something for you that has weighed on me all these years. I had hoped to send it to you but your mother’s passing prevented it.”

Levi nodded not trusting himself to speak. Eren felt just as uncomfortable as Donner who was trying to warn Levi of impending stress. The Rabbi looked at Donner seriously, “He’s a service dog.” Eren offered up hoping to make it better. The Rabbi never acknowledged him, “Come inside and I’ll give you what I have.” Then he finally turned to Eren, “You can’t come inside.” Levi reluctantly let go of his hand and disappeared into the old pre-war building.

*************

Levi appeared after thirty minutes, face flushed red, eyes full of tears, red rimmed, a small bag of cotton fiber that contained all manner of things in his hands. He stepped off the stone steps, Donner hopping down them and keeping up just fine, thrusting it into Eren’s hands, “I can’t!” His voice broke, tears spilled over, face turned redder and tinted purple, “Just go home. I’ll end up there.” He started to walk off and Eren followed. He turned around, voice higher in pitch and wounded, “DON’T FOLLOW ME!” He started to run. He watched him run down the sidewalk, sobbing to himself, running into the city. Eren stood and watched as he and Donner disappeared. The door opened again and it was the rabbi, “You should go. He’s cursed and you have damned yourself but maybe, just maybe he can find a way to make his existence at least bearable.” He shut the door turning the lock on the old black lacquered door with brass kick plate and knob. Eren stared at the mezuzah on the post and wondered if he should kiss it. He did. A final act of rebellion. 

He walked home with the bundle slowly, counting the cracks in the sidewalks and avoiding the legs of the homeless. As Eren clutched the box to his chest he wondered why it was so hard. It was hard to be a Jew but,…why was it so hard to be Levi?

******************

Eren opened the bag when he got home finding a metal box and photo album along with a letter that had been opened. The intricate K wax seal broken and it wasn’t recent if the color on the paper was anything to go off of. Despite being born in the 80s Levi had grown up in a world cut off from technology and modern expression. The orthodox way in which his sect lived and the way Williamsburg had been described to Eren by Berkovitch had really put it into perspective just how easily Levi found it to be unconnected and de-netzed in a world of social media and technology. Eren decided to forgo his reservations and read the letter. Ask for forgiveness later. 

If Eren had been a less intelligent man, he'd have been in a poor situation. The neat familiar script that looked like lost art on the pages before him belonged to his deceased mother in law. Kushel had written in magnificent Yiddish and French all about her transgressions. Enclosed was the letter his late non-biological father Daniel Winter had written confessing his wife's sin to read alongside, which Eren was thankful for. This was her answer to the dinyan, the religious court, and her pleading her case for mercy and for God's sake of a grander plan. She wrote that she had only had relations once outside of the marriage with a man they hosted for a week. He was her age, betrothed and heading to his wedding in Sweden. He didn't know who he was marrying and they had found a kindred spirit in one another sharing their feelings about life, marriage, and family. They decided to help one another out. Kuschel would give him a gift for his bride-to-be since he was poor and had nothing for a dowery. He would give her a chance at a child, since she was now parentless and cut off from her brother in a marriage where a child was desperately wanted and impossible. They sought comfort in Torah and in religious doctrine.

She made her case like a well versed lawyer, very Erwin Smith if he had an opinion on it. She had Tamar from the Torah, talked of the line of David, the eyes of the gates where one would sit. _Einayem Sheli_. She said it was better to know this was a man unattached to her, not like Tamar and her father in law. He would be known to her alone as the father, she could prevent a incestuous coupling but the chances would hardly occur with both parents living and aware. They were apart geographically and Levi would marry in the community here, likely the Pferfferburg daughter. She loved her husband truly and honored him. She only wanted a child, God's most precious gift for a Jewish woman to receive. How could that have been wrong? HaShem was on her side from the beginning and now he knew that the dinyan must have been, too. For they were not as harsh as they could have been and had arranged a new marriage quickly, as stated in their reply where they deemed Levi a mamzer and forbid him for six generations. Levi’s name was removed from the book of life and she was to be entrusted with his education and finding him a wife who was also disgraced if that was even possible. If not, he was to die alone and the line, her line, would end in their books. Winter was stricken and Ackermann replaced along with her own surname. She was legally forbidden from taking her new husband’s name and would wear it like the scarlet A.

So who was it, this father? Clearly the dinyan could have figured it out or even knew because of the small community but there was no mention in the letter. Perhaps, to save another marriage from ruin they omitted it? Eren read further. She asked specifically that he be protected for he had done her good, given her a gift. She didn't think he should be reprimanded. Eren read more, noting her spirit. She was a strong woman and she loved her son. She loved Levi like no other. The photo album was full of family from the world wars and contained a small collection of papers in a book for Levi on his 13th birthday. She never saw it but at least she had written some and left these photos. Eren set the personal letters alone, those were for Levi only. 

Eren opened the book looking at the photos of the family and friends. Those who had sent pictures even though it was immodest in their traditional community did so because the community had had such losses and preserving the history became more important than modesty. He flipped through noting one of a young and pregnant Kuschel, or at least the back said it was her and Eren believed it. She was breathtaking. So much of Levi could be seen in her. She also looked slightly, ever so slightly, like Mikasa but it was mostly the air about her. Eren found one of Levi as an infant and cooed at it, hoping that their children took after him.

Inside the box was another, open, letter to Levi from her. A note more than anything, that read of her love, her hopes, and her dreams for him. It also had a few strange sentences with numbers that alluded to him finding his connection to identity and history. Now, Eren wasn’t proficient in Yiddish or French so he didn't quite understand her meaning of identity or history. Perhaps origins? Maybe the past? Whatever it was the same two numbers appeared over and over again: 734 735

*******

Eren continued to look through the box. A few ticket stubs to Sweden and Germany, a clipping from Israel, and a baby announcement among a few others. Nothing too strange for a mother, in his opinion. Perhaps she'd traveled and been at these births because they were close friends? 734 735 kept popping up, written in red. On the baby announcement written in a Hebrew script that was too difficult for him to understand it was 734 735 718 735. He found a bracelet, gold with the third eye on it. It was old, hand crafted. Stones precious and worth a great amount these days. He slipped it on and felt strange so he took it off returning to the photo album where he found a relative that looked a lot like Levi, so much so he had to do a double take.

 _Wehrmacht, 1941 Levi._ Eren studied the picture thinking lf the implications. Obviously he'd been named for this relative, a uncle or great uncle it would seem, but what the fuck was a chassidic Jew doing in the Wehrmacht? There was someone in the picture with him but the corner was missing, burned. A few more where he was in groups but Eren…couldn’t see their faces? He started looking for him again and found two more snapshots taken from an archive at the library in Paris that he could see clearly. Something must have happened to those other pictures. Kuschel was a resourcefully persistent woman and Eren liked it.

He kept looking at the materials well into the afternoon and late evening. Eren opened the fridge looking at the food they had. He started cooking dinner hoping Levi would walk through the door or at least he wanted the diversion. He started the oven, started baking while he cooked and listened to the radio. He remembered the last time he was in this kitchen before he was married with Levi standing behind him holding him and swaying to the tune of _La Vie en Rose._ It was almost 11:00 pm. Eren went over to the album again, picking up the photo of Levi the Wehrmacht officer, a high ranking officer it would seem and flipped it over. “Levi Ackermann, 1941 Osssstfront mm-m-mit Ieer wehn sch meah deht ss-uuussss-mmm-oorrr-„ Eren felt himself shake, he felt violently ill and went to the trash can to retch. 

He put the photo down, worrying that he was really ill but it passed. It must have been the day and the fact that he was now extremely worried about Levi. He felt like it was constricting him he was so tense, chest so tight it hurt. He started to take the cake out and let the layers cool down as he drank water and looked out the window. _Where are you, my Levi Ackermann?_

The key in the door and the push when it stuck made him turn around and go into the living room. Levi looked horrible and Donner stayed against his leg. He was looking at the floor like he was ashamed and Eren realized that he was and he probably thought Eren was angry at him for yelling at him and running away. He wasn’t, “Dinner is ready, come eat.” Eren offered a positive tone and smile to try and help ease his anxiety. Levi looked up, eyes red and rubbed raw, “What?” He said softly, “What? Aren’t you-“ Eren moved forward, motioning with his hands, “Come on. I made cake for dessert.” Levi followed Eren into the kitchen sitting down. Eren served him and they ate in silence and peace as the two small tea lights sat in the sink flickering.

Levi looked at them when he went to clean his plate, “You did Shabbat without me?” Eren nodded, “Didn’t want to forget. Wasn’t the same, though. I missed your _Lecha Dodi_. It’s one of my favorite for you to sing you know? Well, everything you do I love. I love you.” Eren stood up walking over to clean his as well. He leaned over kissing his cheek. “You should relax, Neshama. Take as long as you need. We don’t have to talk about anything. I’m good.” Levi looked like a lost child, “Levi?” “You’re too good for me. I’m not worthy…of you, Eren. Honestly, why? Why would you ever settle for me?” Eren didn’t think about it before snorting loudly, face contorting into a disbelieving look, “OK! Whatever. That’s shit, Levi. Don’t even. I can’t even with that.” He laughed loudly at the audacity Levi had to even ask that. He hugged Levi to him, leaning his head on his shoulder and nuzzling his neck, “Neshama, my soul, ani ohev otkah. Just take some time and we can talk later.”

Levi missed Eren every second they were apart and he had hurt, ached while outside on the streets crying. He hugged him closer, kissing his face, “Okay.” Levi went into their room and then the kitchen to take a shower. Eren stayed in the living room moving Levi’s mother’s things to a safe place where he could give them to Levi tomorrow if he asked for them but not so in the open that it triggered bad feelings if he didn’t want to see it.

Now he was on the couch, thinking about the day as the TV went on and on about nothing in particular. Donner came over to him, sniffing and licking. Eren started to pet him before letting him lay down at the side of the couch on his dog bone shaped pillow he’d gotten him when Levi wasn’t looking. The night was beautiful, chilly, but beautiful. A perfect summer night in the city of love. Eren couldn’t believe he lived here, that he was married, that he was 20 and already an adult. He’d felt grown since 15 but now he was going to start a family and graduate school in another year. Then what? Work in the clinic and maybe ask for a flexible schedule. If Levi takes the position at the hospital, they needed to talk about that soon, it’ll mean weird hours like his father worked. He didn’t really like that. What the fuck did he care, actually? They were rich and didn’t have to work…he sometimes forgot he was blessed with first world problems. He was horrible. They needed to start a damn charity. 

Eren let his hand fall down to stroke Donner’s fur. The TV program changed, breaking news: “A cruise ship in the Baltic has sunk. The distress signals were called in after some sort of explosion caused a irreparable hole in the ship. It was hit somewhere around 23:00 (11:00 pm) and is now officially beneath the surface of the water. The signals were delayed and picked up by broadcasters in Norway and called in to the coast guard. Currently, emergency dispatchers are on their way to collect any survivors but the freezing temperatures are a major concern for rescuers. After thirty minutes in the frigid waters people will start to succumb to hypothermia and after an hour or hour and half the likely hood of survival is almost non-existent. The cruise ship, _Kronor_ , is reportedly-“ Eren jumped off the couch knocking the table over as he ran into the bedroom.

Levi was leaned against the wall, head just now quiet after eating and letting the waters soothe him. He felt something stir in him as he heard the stampede that was Eren. In the bedroom. _He’s so heavy footed and loud._ Levi managed a small smirk at the thought before the door slammed open hitting the wall with a loud bang and pop as the tiles echoed. The door had a crack in the center now from how much force Eren had put behind it, “LEVI! LEVI! GET OUT NOW!” Levi’s opened and he turned the water off, “What?! What’s wrong, Eren!?” Eren was nearing hysteria, “Mikasa and David’s ship has sunk. An explosion or something and it’s been almost an hour since then and they’re just now sending people Levi we have to go or something oh my god I don’t know what to do Levi LEVI LEVI!” Levi stepped out soaking wet taking his towel and Eren into the bedroom as quick as his feet could carry him. _What were they going to do?_

**************** 

Erwin was reading in one of the chairs in their bedroom waiting on Armin to finish dressing and getting ready. They were going to go out to eat and he was going to take Armin somewhere as a surprise. He had just skyped with Jean and Marco who were eating burgers and fries at a bar. Apparently they had decided that Jean needed a hobby and they were asking Armin for ideas. He had taken his time to enjoy them and now was rushing because he’d made Erwin wait. Erwin sat in the chair, black fitted jeans, red short sleeved V-neck, and obsidian bolo tie from Owen on his neck. Armin had on a larger than he needed to wear cotton V-neck bark blue, black boho-ish hat, and was pulling on his dark skinny jeans. It was when he put his foot up on their TV console, making sure Erwin didn’t see him and get on to him, to put his black Adidas tennis shoes on that the breaking news came on. “The cruise ship, _Kronor_ , is reportedly-“ Erwin dropped his paper as Commander meowed and scurried across the floor to Armin who picked him up in strange slow numbed horror as his eyes stayed glued to the screen widening and pupils dilating. “Erwin-“ Erwin stood up moving the chair behind him loudly, “I’ll call Levi.” “BUT ERWIN!” Armin screeched. Erwin moved to head out the door of their room, “He’s closer!” 

**************

“We’re now hearing that the Russian government may have planted the bomb-“ “It wasn’t a bomb, it was a torpedo.” “Will Russia claim their role in this?” “We all know Russia has a lot of power in the Baltic. The Baltics once belonged-“ “America is purported to have had a role in the attack on the _Kronor_ , the president has not made a statement but Putin is adamant that America is trying to frame them just like Turkey did in the-“ “We’re tired of living in fear of Russia right at our door. Now we gotta worry about the USA?” “Could this be another cold war?” “I remember…when they put the wall up in 61 and-“ “This isn’t the first time America has sunk their own ship and it isn’t the first time America let a ship be sunk in order to become engaged in a war.” “Those Americans…they turned a boat full of Jewish children away in WWII. Sent them to death. You think they wouldn’t do that again? What’s life to the capitalistic bastards of the united states…” “Putin has officially offered the US an ultimatum-“ “The likelihood of survival is-“ “Flowers are being laid on the dock where the _Kronor_ should have made its final stop in just two days.” 


	67. The Day That The Sea Rose Up

**_The Day That The Sea Rose Up_ **

Mikasa rolled off the bed, sweaty and fully awake while David caught his breath. She looked back at him smiling, “We deserve a shower.” He laughed shortly, “Yes, we do.” He watched as she moved across the room before a thought popped into his head, “I’m very excited for you to meet the people from table yellow.” She drank some water, “I know, I am too. I think that tonight will be the best night. Well, after we get the thing over with Schwarz.” David got off the bed walking towards her, “If only we could just not go.” “Wow, David, that’s not proper.” “You make me want to be improper.” She blushed tilting her head towards the bathroom, an invitation, “Shower?” “Please.” They walked into the bathroom turning the shower on and brushing their teeth. Mikasa started bumping into David, feeling oddly affectionate. He smiled around his toothbrush, spiting and then wiping his mouth, “You’re a little like Armin, you know?” 

She raised her eyebrows, spiting, “What?” “Don’t play coy, you’re just swaying and bumping into me. Taking pictures of us and sending them to Eren.” “How did you know?! You were asleep.” “Not completely.” “You faker.” “I know. But, how is he and Levi?” He opened the shower door climbing inside as she followed, “Great, happy, really happy actually. I’m beyond pleased with how happy Levi makes Eren. I’ve just wanted him to find something for so long that would settle him, anchor him down. He needs that.” David made a small noise, “Levi needed that too.” He had enjoyed the short conversations he and Levi had had about Paris and married life. He wanted to visit badly. They both showered and changed heading to meet Shoshanna and Eli for brunch.

***********

Shoshanna was a wonderfully delightful person who was witty and well read. She worked exclusively in bags and shoes. She leaned back on the small white couch on the deck with her white sun hat on, bag simmering in the sunlight that the umbrella didn’t catch, and a mixed drink in her hand as Eli and David talked animatedly about politics. He had his arm around her shoulders as she and Shoshanna made remarks here and there. The men were talkers, not so much Shoshanna and Mikasa. They were fine with that. It was beyond relaxed and [Mikasa](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/82/19/78/821978d5b657138e0467af9863f23032.jpg) was in love with it. [David](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/01/f9/5b/01f95b9de2483ac8620bcdf85d57b89a.jpg) moved suddenly, “Chaya, Rabin!” Chaya approached smiling, with her brother following much more reserved, “Is this Mikasa?” Mikasa smiled, “Yes, it’s nice to meet you.” Chaya sat down to the side, “Okay, well, I’ve already looked at everything I could online about you and your work and I want to collaborate with you badly. Please, please say you’ll work with me.” Mikasa’s eyes widened, “I’m honored. May I see what you do? Are you in accessories or?” Chaya brought out her book from her purse. Shoshanna laughed, “No, but she’s representing me right now.” The women laughed as Chaya started to talk animatedly about her work. 

Rabin, Eli, and David all spoke about the current tensions around Israel. Rabin and Eli were in the IDF and were delighted that David was still a reserve member and had been a high ranking officer. That was new news to her. Mikasa listened on the side as Chaya stuffed her face with bread, talking about how keeping kosher was only in spirit here since nothing was kosher. Denmark, a co-owner of the Swedish ship, had outlawed ritual slaughter and she found it humorous. Mikasa tilted her head, look of confusion and curiosity on her face, “Why is that humorous?” Chaya drank her wine, “Because, they’re clearly anti-Semitic and have been increasingly so but by doing this it actually hurts Muslims too. Basically, we may only be 140 million but that’s over a billion Muslims they’ve offended. Not a smart move but eh, it’s how it goes. We suffer, we prevail, we suffer, we prevail.” Mikasa nodded thinking it over, “That sounds like something my brother-in-law says. He thinks as much.” Chaya smiled, face full of food, _she looks just like Sasha,_ “You’re brother-in-law? You have a brother? A sister? Multiple? I am very interested in you, but you’re last name being hyphenated really hurt me and my digging. I’m engaged, actually. To this goofy lovable fish merchant in Israel. He’s in rabbinical school right now, though. Family is in the fish business, really good profession. Smelly, but good. He has a stupid fish face and a brother and I have brother but I wish I’d had a sister and I’ll never have one unless it’s in-law.” She laughed and it was like a robin’s trill.

Shoshanna laughed as well, “Sounds like you’re in love, all right. Despite him not having a sister.” “Sure am. You and Eli, how did you two meet?” “Eli and I met through the schadchen. (A matchmaker)” “Ohhhh really?” “Yeah, we met and it was beschert because we went to different Shuls. (Temples) I opted out of military service because of my faith but also because I have a heart condition. I volunteer, though. It’s funny, actually. We saw each other at his cafeteria and I thought, “HaShem please let me know this man.” He kept staring at me and I was behind the counter and we couldn’t approach one another and he just clutched his barrette looking completely torn as to what to do. And then BAM he’s at my door a week later meeting me and my family.” Eli moved over, “It was a horribly rainy day and I was wet and nasty from drill but it was the best day of my life.” She smiled kissing him, “True.”

Chaya turned to Mikasa, “How did you and David meet?” Mikasa blushed, “Well, he showed up at a show I was working to pick up a blazer for our friend and he modeled a shirt for me.” Both girls exchanged glances, eyebrows raised, “Wow what a first meeting.” David moved slightly in his chair, “Well, that wasn’t…” Eli turned his gaze on David, “Oooohh oohhhh we have a counter narrative.” Mikasa blushed, “W-what?” David was blood red now as Rabin whistled and Eli laughed, “OH HaShem, look how red. What’s the real story?” David cleared his throat.

“Okay, Mikasa is right but that story also has more to it on my part. We first saw each other in a similar way to Eli and Shoshanna but obviously Mikasa has forgotten or I did…not…make such an impression…” Eli smiled wickedly, “As she did on you?” “Correct. I had just gotten to the US and wanted to see my best friend after nearly 2 years. When I drove the hour and a half to surprise him I pulled up to his new house and parked. As I was getting out there was this magnificent glow and this feeling that all the air had been knocked out of me and I saw her as she was walking to her car which was right next to me. She nodded, smiled a little, and got into her car. I was so….there are no words.”

“Then our mutual friend sent me an email all but telling me I had to go to this fair and pick up a blazer he ordered for his boyfriend. I now know he was setting the deck in my favor and was trying to make our paths cross. When I show up, a woman who is the mother of another mutual friend of ours, pushes me into a changing room and asks me to model a shirt and I agree. I’m standing there, shirtless, in this strange place, and then the same girl appears in the dressing tent with me looking even more gorgeous. I thought I had died. I feel that way a lot around her.” Mikasa’s cheeks were pink as she clutched her napkin looking at the table while David looked way too, cheeks on fire. The table all smiled and leaned in before making jokes and give out mazels to their love story. 

Shoshanna and Chaya talked more about what they thought about David’s side of the story. Shoshanna turned to Mikasa, “Where did you go to Shul, Mikasa? Do they not have schadchen?” Mikasa’s eyes widened, _Oh…….why am I thinking about that again?_ “Um, well, I wasn’t raised religious by my parents. After they died I was adopted by the Jaegers and they were Orthodox Christians.” Her hand fell to her mother’s lotus necklace moving it back and forth on the chain. Both girls were silent and the men were too. She felt like she’d said something wrong. “I am sorry for your loss, may their memory be a blessing.” Rabin said quietly.

Eli turned to her, “That must have been hard, losing your parents and then your Jewishness.” David shifted, should he say something? No, the Talmud would not want him to speak on such personal matters. Mikasa might say something but she’d not want to make anyone feel awkward. “At least if you were cultural and not religious you’d have those experiences. Lots of Jews in America are atheist or agnostic. But, they belong to a community.” Mikasa nodded with a strange look on her face as David moved her closer to him. Eli continued, “Would you ever live in Israel for a while, Mikasa? It might make you feel better, it’s like coming home you know.” David wanted to know this too but hadn’t dared ask. It wouldn’t be for the obvious reasons he was asking for and so what would Mikasa say? I wouldn’t because I’m not Jewish. Might visit David? She shrugged, “I don’t know. I’d have to consider my brother. We’re really close and leaving him would be the hardest thing to do. He’s pretty locked in to Maria or Paris.” Chaya laughed, “Oh brothers. Yes, parting with them is almost unthinkable.” Rabin actually smiled at that. Mikasa nodded, “I think I need to visit Israel first, might change my mind.” She smiled laughing softly. David mulled it over as they continued to talk. He could accept that answer for now.

They decided to head to the pool and relax more. Rabin was asking David about his time in the military as Chaya and Mikasa started talking style. Shoshana said she was inspired by David and Mikasa and showed her a few sketches she’d sent to her partners of bags she’d be planning on making. Mikasa and David were so happy to have met such wonderful people and were even more delighted with Nina, Kurt, Maggie and Simone came to join them.

****************

[Mikasa](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e4/67/7b/e4677b1f0a74ea9fadf536a9f70d2134.jpg) and [David](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/fb/99/77/fb99770ffcbd6f34784bf41e1ab95702.jpg) were walking towards the bar where they would meet Schwarz. She stopped before walking inside, “I want to ask you a lot of things tonight.” He looked down at her, corner of his mouth hinting at a smirk, “Is that all?” She hit him playfully, “They will be somewhat serious in nature.” He nodded, shrugging, “Whatever you want, Miss Ackermann.” They entered and were greeted to the sight of Schwarz at the bar leaned over ordering like a villain in a Bond movie. Mikasa steeled herself for turning down one of the most powerful figures in the fashion industry but morally he was corrupt as fuck and she would rather work with Weiss and deal with her insanity that him.

“Mikasa, There you are! How is the lady of the hour?” He purred as she approached. He offered her a drink but she waved it away, “I’m not thirsty.” He blinked, “But, we’re meeting for cocktails, specifically.” She stared, “And since dinner is at seven I’ll be needing to leave by at least six to get ready. You know, dress to impress.” He laughed charmingly, “Of course, this is nice but not your usual and you’ve brought your….” He looked at David who was waiting for her to ask him over. He was secretly wanting her to just tell him no and them leave, however rude that might be. They had showered and thrown on clothes to come here but he was not wanting to take too long. 

She stared, her voice dangerously low and unemotional, “My what?” He sensed her edge, “Nothing. Anyway, we’d like to ask you to join us, start a line. Your own collection due in the fall.” Mikasa heard his words and their meaning. They wanted her to put a collection together in only two months for the biggest buy week for next spring and summer. Therefore, not only was she winning at life and her creations were popular, trendsetting, unique, and spectacular to even the old blood of the industry but she had made such an impression so far that he was trying to trap her into a contract before she went with someone better or, worse for him, stayed a free agent. She held him by the balls, "I am flattered and would love to work with you-" "Good, I have the contract here for you to sign." "-but I must decline." He had the embossed Schwarz letterhead paper, Azure ink ready to sign his name. The tip touched the parchment and like his patience, it bled ugly and fluid out from him.

"Miss Ackermann, I must ask you to consider.” His voice was thick and condescending, “You are 20 years old. You need representation or you will be consumed by this industry." She smiled softly, "I have that. I have myself and Ms. Kirschstein who has done a fine job so far. I am 20, that's young and I want to work with other 20 something year olds for a while and learn. I'm an independent person. Belonging to a label that isn’t my own isn't what I want right now. I would love to collaborate in the future or shop out with Schwarz sometime but for now I am enjoying myself." He stared a hole through her, "You are planning on collaborations right now?" "Yes." "We can write those into the contract. Who are they?" "I do not want to write them in only for you to remove-" "No, we can make it so you can work with us and collaborate. You can keep your name , too." "Really?" _What? Maybe this isn't so bad after all?_ "Yes, who for example, have you agreed to on this trip?" "Chaya Hirsch." "Absolutely not." He burst into loud unabashed laughter.

She was taken aback and David moved closer, circling, primal like, as if he’d have to fight to protect his mate at any moment, “Why is that so hysterical to you?” Schwarz just threw the pen on the pad and raised his hands, manic smile forming on his face, eyes shining, “What are you doing, Miss Ackermann? What are you doing?” She stared, “What?” “You’re ruining your life, your career, is what you’re doing. Working with Jews is something you can only afford after you’ve made it so big you can’t fail. If you work with them now, you’ll sign your own death warrant. No one will touch you. They’re altmodisch (old fashioned) and horribly corrupt people. Look at the plight of the Palestinians? You want to work with them?” Mikasa was arguably smarter than almost 90 percent of the people she met. She was not uneducated and could learn about anything easily and quickly. However, in her life, she had neglected politics and had simply focused on her family, Eren, fighting, dance, and fashion. She wanted to live simply, pleasantly, without fighting and honestly, just be left the fuck alone. She now hated him even more because she would be forced, it seemed, to get involved in a realm she never wanted to be in in the first place but she kept being thrust into ever since she started college and left behind the simple life with the Jaegers.

“If working with Jews or anyone else you dislike makes me undesirable to you then this confirms that I do not and never wanted to work with your company. You are a morally corrupt institution that refuses to acknowledge my relationship with Mr. Lavie based on, now that I can safely assume this, his religion and there can be nothing further for us to say to one another. I will leave now and work with whom I choose on my own terms.” His face flushed red, “If you think you’re just going to walk away from me, then you’ve got another thing coming! I do not share, we will not let you be a threat to our label and our revenue. Well will destroy you. You can keep your filthy boyfriend and filthy friends. Hopefully, they’ll feed and clothe you because you will never work in this industry again. We’ve got friends in high places, Miss Ackermann- _Jaeger._ ” The threat was shocking enough but the way he ended on the word Jaeger made her feel suddenly very unsafe. She had not written on any of her paper work the last name and Chaya only knew it because she asked David the night they ate together specifically. It had not spread because even Shoshanna didn’t know it and the two were close friends. She took a step back as he reached out grabbing her arm, “You’re just a halfbreed looking for some place to belong aren’t you? Well, you’ve just cut your hands off despite yourself-“ Whatever else he was going to say was cut off.

David fist slammed into his mouth, bone fracturing, teeth breaking, skin and knuckles tearing, blinding white pain. David pushed Mikasa to the side and lunged forward, hits landing as Schwarz regained his control and wrapped his arms around David’s waist throwing him into and on the bar top, smashing a Brutus beer glass over his head. David kicked out, knocking his legs out from under him. The tiny round top cocktail tables falling and rolling away on the embellished red, black, and gold carpet. David moved forward leaning over to start punching him more. He straddled him as Schwarz wrestled against him until David nearly had him choked out. The bar keeper came around removing David with reason and persistent hands. Other patrons of the bar had left or were frozen in horror as the bar keep bade David and Mikasa to leave. He had seen and heard it all. This was a blessing for David that Mikasa wanted him to take.

She pulled him, bleeding, towards the door as Schwarz got up, “You’ll pay for this, you filthy yid and your little bitch’s got something coming for her too.” David nearly turned back until she let out a small sob of fear that this would turn into a legal battle and further headache. David seemed to break back into reality and they went back to the room. David got into the shower, keeping it ice cold, as he tried to calm down. Mikasa wiped her face, drinking some water, and laying down on the bed. He joined her after a while, cold skin making her shudder as she curled around him, “We’ll….at least we’re sitting with people we like tonight.” David ran his hands through her hair, “Hopefully, they’ll feed and clothe you if the police arrest me. I forget there are things that are frowned on in civilian life.” His voice was laced with sarcasm and venom. She offered a small smile, though her stomach hurt from worry, “Right, like knocking teeth out is only something your dentist does, silly David.” She said his name like the Hebrew, Da-veed, and he relaxed a little into her. She could make him feel so good with just a few choice words. He snorted, “Yes. Silly.”

***************

The table was alive with laughter and conversation. [Mikasa](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/90/f1/54/90f154e03b29341594432b0065b3fd28.jpg) and [David](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/d3/0b/12/d30b12ed6b54aada9fe56cac0c58f8d6.jpg) were the honored guests again and this time Mikasa felt more of a solidarity between her and them after the threats of Schwarz. Weiss appeared, worrying her lip, “Can I speak with you?” Mikasa nodded as David’s hand went to hers, “I’d rather you not leave.” Eli and Rabin exchanged glances that seemed to carry a weight that few would understand. David was worried something would be done to Mikasa, why? “Just stand with me over here. Right there where you can see us, David.” Mikasa nodded and he let go, reluctantly. 

Weiss was very fidgety, “I’m not supposed to speak with you but I wanted to see if I could right this in some way. You know Schwarz and Weiss are connected. We work together. Schwarz has blacklisted you and now finding work will be almost impossible.” Mikasa started to panic but she kept it calm on the outside, “Oh, well. That’s too bad.” Weiss seemed to be truly horrified at her reaction, “Mikasa! Let me help you! Don’t do this to yourself. We’ve given you a chance and we want to work with you. Our main patrons are dying to work with you! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS TO LOOK PAST THE FACT YOU ARE GRISHA JAEGER’S DAUGHTER?” Mikasa was confused and outraged, “What does that even mean?!” She hissed as Weiss covered her mouth, “It means that we’ve been watching you. We’ve been looking at you and your potential. You’ve got a way about you and you can influence a lot of other young designer hopefuls. You’re powerful, Mikasa. You can become our **Hugo Boss.** ” _Fuck that,_ was Mikasa’s first thought. She stepped back, unbeknownst to her yellow table shifted, all men slightly crouched in the seats ready to intervene. “But you won’t let me work with Jews.” Weiss threw her hands to the side dramatically, “Why on earth would you ever want to?”

Mikasa stared, “Because people are people, Weiss. People….they’re just people. There is no race, there is no superior person, you…you know that, right? I’m beginning to think you don’t and I pity you. How could you live like that? Live with that hate? Carry it around with you, in you, let it affect you. How could you take such a dislike to someone because they’re different from you? You know Schwarz called me a half-breed? Like I’m some mut form the pound. That’s wrong.” She shrugged, hand twisting her pearl bracelet, “Well, he’s right. You are a mut. We want you because you are, because you’ll appeal to others. Let’s be honest, Mikasa, this world is all smoke and mirrors. It’s them and us. It’s how economics is motivated, how politics work, how capital is created and alliances formed. Positioning of power from groups to other groups. We just want to be the group with all the power. So, you’re Japanese and Jewish. We’re going to overlook the Jewish part, as long as you distance yourself from them. We’re going to let you keep your Asian flare, despite it being degenerative. We’re being accommodating, we’re going to make you famous and rich. We’re taking a chance on you and we’ve been waiting since you were young. Grisha Jaeger knows that. Just, do what’s best for your situation.” 

Mikasa’s head was spinning, look of astonishment on her face, look of terror, “MY SITIAITON?” She screeched, drowned out from the music and crowd but the boys saw and David stood, ready to fight and defend as Rabin and Eli would provide support. Mikasa was so upset, as if being Japanese was a bad thing and Jewish? Was she Jewish? Where did that come from? “What exactly is my fucking situation? What do you mean you’ve been watching? What the fuck are you talking about?” Weiss shook her head sadly, “Oh, Mikasa….you really don’t remember, do you?” Mikasa starred, “Here,” she handed Mikasa a card, “learn it, eat it, destroy it somehow. Go there. It’s all I can do for you. I wish things had been different, Miss Ackermann-Jaeger. I truly do. I hope you come to your senses and take up our offer. It will not last long, especially with Schwarz. Do yourself a favor, lose the Mossad agent. He’s going to make things much worse for you if you don’t. The same went for your adopted brother. Don’t make the same mistake. I wish you luck, I really do.” Weiss turned to leave the ball room as Mikasa held the white business card in shock.

Mikasa’s legs felt like jelly and her back was hot. She took a moment and then returned to the quiet and serious table. The men and women searched her face as she stood behind her chair. She turned to face David, “I want off this fucking boat.” Her voice broke as her eyes watered, “I want off,” she took a breath to keep from sobbing, “this motherfucking boat.” He just stared, unsure what to do. “Should I go find her?” Mikasa shook her head, “Promise me we’ll be the first people off this boat when we dock.” He shook his head, “We will. Even if we have to take a dingy.” Eli laughed, “We will all be right behind you.” Chaya nodded and so did Shoshanna. Rabin was morose, “It is rude of me to ask, but what was the last part about? I can read lips. I’m def in one ear.”

She paused, sitting down and looking at the first course, “What did you read?” Rabin sat back in his chair, “To lose something is where I ended. I’d rather not recount what I read to the table, for your privacy and for my own shame having read it.” She chewed her lip looking at David and back at the table, “My brother is married to an Israeli. I am dating an Israeli. They belong to organizations.” The table nodded as Eli and Chaya’s face lit up, “Mossad?” David nodded, “and Shin bet.” Mikasa continued, “So, she told me to do myself a favor and lose the Mossad agent. She said the same went for my brother but now he has made a mistake by marrying one.” David was blood red and angry, “I will go find them and-“ “No, you’ll eat with me. Drink with me.” He settled down as the table offered silent contemplation.

******************

After dinner and more networking Mikasa and David walked back to their room. She leaned into him, held his hand, and listened to his breaths. Inside the room she changed into warmer sleeping [clothes](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/f2/f9/78/f2f978957b385bdafbd3c6a88d9616b6.jpg) since the night had turned off very cold thinks to the ice around them as they approached closer and closer to Norway. She crawled in bed with David trailing behind her. He laid his head down on the pillow looking at the ceiling. “What do you know about me?” Mikasa asked quietly as David turned the light off, “That you are kind, strong, beautiful inside and out, intelligent, loyal, family oriented, self-sufficient, creative, reflective, intrapersonal, and the most precious gift I’ve ever received from HaShem.” She smiled, “But, about my family and I. What’s my file like? Do I have one?” David shifted, “You lost your parents at 8 to a random act of violence, adopted by the Jaegers, grew up with promising abilities in all fields but chose fashion, completed an intensive summer program in Japan, entered Maria at sophomore standing in college credits and is currently and consistently the number one in the country’s most competitive fashion program.” Mikasa snorted, “Wow…I’m a winner on paper.”

David didn’t know what else to say, “What do you want me to say, Miki?” She looked over, “I think my parents were murdered not by random psychos but on orders from someone.” He thought about it, “I’ll look into it.” She moved closer kissing his shoulder, “Please.” 

They feel silent for a bit, “Mikasa?” “Yes?” “If it’s me or your career,” Mikasa opened her eyes, tears collecting at the edge, “Stop, no. David I-” “want you to choose your career. You’ve got a gift. I’m just….a simple man, Mikasa. I prefer to work with my hands, this paper position isn’t something I want forever, I like a simple life. I want simple things. It wouldn’t be hard for me to just become a hunter or fisherman and live off on my own farm as long as I had my wife and children. You’re going to do wonderful things. Don’t let me get in the way of that.” 

Mikasa’s brow furrowed, “You wouldn’t want to be with me if I was designing and traveling?” David jerked, “N-n-ooo! No, that’s not at all what I’m saying. Would you want to be with me? Someone so boring?” “You’re not boring at all. I think this isn’t even worth discussing. This isn’t a thing to me.” “But, they’re threatening you because I’m a Jew, Mikasa. I’m a Jew. This is my curse to bear, not yours. I thought, wrongly, I assumed you were Jewish and that you’d understand because you bore it. too. No one asks to be treated like this. To be a demagogue’s scapegoat. If I’m going to hurt you, let me go. Let me watch you from afar while you achieve your dreams. It’ll be enough to have been this close to you. Don’t condemn yourself if you want more, Mikasa. I am only worth a few things, even fewer of those being good.” Mikasa wiped her face of tears, “I want those things someday, too.” She whispered, “I want that, too. I’m not leaving you, David. I don’t want to. Stop asking me to. Never ask me to do that again. If YOU don’t want ME then that’s different. But, we’re good, better than good. I’m going to be fine, my career will be fine. Even if it’s not, I’ll survive.” 

David pulled her closer kissing her head, “We’re fine?” “We’re fine.” “I’m glad, Miss Ackermann.” “I might be…” “Might be what?” “Kind of Jewish.” “I don’t understand. Kind of isn’t really something to go off of.” “My parents were anti-religion. Kotsuji was my mother’s name. Comes from a line of converts I think. Her mother was Jewish…but I haven’t thought about them in a long time because it really hurts. My father was Ackermann but I don’t remember him ever saying anything about religion. My mother kept that really under wraps. They were communists, too.” She smiled coyly as David’s brow furrowed, “Are you fucking serious?” She snickered, “Oh yeah. Really staunch believers in communism. I was raised in a very Marx centric home. Hence, my residual views on self-sufficiency and the common good.” “I dislike that.” “I know you do.” “I feel that’s too far left.” “I know. I did too. I think that’s why I don’t get into politics at all. People are people, they can believe what they want to as long as they’re not pushing it off on others and hurting people.” “That’s a nice sentiment but still dangerous.” “I know.” “Kotsuji. That is pretty. Kotsuji Mikasa.” Her name was Hana. Kotsuji Hana.” “Hana. That means flower. I like it.” “I like the way you sound when you say my name.” “Then I’ll make sure to say it every day like my prayers.” 

Mikasa smiled and they spoke and kissed in the darkness until they fell asleep.

*****************

The sound of bombs, grenades, and the slick metal string of wires with spikes finding their place on the trees that were taller than skyscrapers. "EREN! EREN!" Mikasa was lost among the steam as she saw tall titan like creatures moving below her and oddly enough, men in military gear working alongside with them. The sea before her, the land behind her, the tree line was on fire and the world was burning. Their world was burning. Eren's titan call echoed and she tried to turn back to him, "EREN!" "RUN MIKASA!" Armin slammed into the trunk of the tree hurriedly climbing with the maneuvering gear, "Go to the docks! GET ON THE BOAT LIKE WE AGREED! FOLLOW MY PLAN!" 

Mikasa fell to her knees, sobbing, "Noooooo. EREN?!" Armin's face was serious, "Will follow with Levi afterwards.” Mikasa sobbed harder, “But we saw Levi…” Armin shook his head, “He will not leave, Levi. You understand what I’m saying?” She wanted to die. “You have to live, we've made it this far and now that we know what's going on we have to get out and live to tell!" Mikasa knew she had to go to the boat, she had to live, she had to find him and go with him on the boat. She turned from the mental image of the man with the beautiful face to the man before her, her childhood friend, who carried them all on his shoulders. 

She asked sadly, "Why does it feel like you're not coming?" Armin offered a small sympathetic smile, "I'll have to come later, too. Jean's left already on his boat with Sasha and Connie. Hanji has the others on their boat with the kids. Go to your boat. Go to him.” He added weakly, “I'll follow with Eren and Levi." Armin looked at the tree line, face worn, hair long and braided. They’d been her three short years. 

She stood shakily, "You're going back to the cabin, Armin. He wanted to die there....alone in peace." Armin’s face became hard, "He doesn't get to decide that. He doesn’t get to tell me what to do." She realized something, "You love him." Armin nodded, "Yes." She felt like she should have known the whole time. Then she felt pain, "That will break Jean's heart." Armin started to shake, "I know. But he was always in love with Marco, truly. I'm just second place. He’ll understand." Mikasa shook her head, “No, he’ll think about you and Erwin in that cabin alone without supplies, starving to death and becoming ill till you meet a horrible end. That’s what he’ll live with. He barely moved past Marco.” Armin restrained himself as he started to open his mouth to argue, “I love him, too. But, we’re just not meant to be. I cannot leave Erwin to die like that, Mikasa. I might be able to save him but he will die if I don’t try. Jean and I…well……perhaps….in another world….” She moved forward hugging him to her tightly, kissing his cheek, "Live, Armin Arlert. Live and make Erwin live, too. Come back to me." Armin hugged her, his eyes reflected the hell fire of the world, his voice an ominous whisper of truth, "We deserved so much better." 

***********

Another bomb went off and she was on the floor, rumbling like thunder, shaking like earthquakes, and David on her back picking her up roughly by the collar throwing her suitcase with his free hand in front of her. He was screaming like a drill sergeant, "Put on as many warm clothes as possible. THICK CLOTHES! SOCKS, MIKASA! SOCKS AND SHOES WITH TREAD LIKE TENNIS SHOES." Her hands scrambled pulling on thick knits she hadn’t planned on wearing till Sweden. She pulled on her jeans and he threw sweatpants at her from his own suitcase and his thick IDF jacket. She wanted to saw no, to tell him he needed these too. But, there wasn’t any time. He pulled his boots on and wrapped her red scarf Eren made her around her neck, “Do not take this off unless you can use it. Do not get distracted, move, do not help others, move, do not look down ever, move, do not get sympathetic, move, do not over think, move, get out on the deck, move, find a life jacket, move. If you have to, leave me.” 

He surged forward kissing her like it was the last time he’d ever see her and she wanted to weep but she didn’t have time.

They pushed into the hallway, people screaming, children crying, lights flickering, rumbles of the aftershock, the boat turning on its side, and making their hallway uneven. David’s hand was a vice on her arm as they jogged over debris, sometimes through patches of darkness, over people who were frozen in fear. Mikasa and David started taking the stairs up to the other levels until they came to a stop due to a wall of hysterical people. David looked and so did Mikasa for the issue preventing people from moving and couldn’t see one. Mikasa took a deep breath as David used his body like a weapon, pulling her along with him while bursting through and fighting frantic people. Some made space for them, not wanting to get hit by the giant that was coming through.

She noticed his changed demeanor, his beast like determination, he was sinister, capable, predatory, so many things that if she were in a different place or state of mind he’d terrify her too. He was clearly once a high ranking officer in an army fighting every day for survival. 

They started down the suffocating hallway that lead through to the ball room and then another hallway that would splinter into those rooms with deck access and then the main deck. The boat started to roll more and people screamed like banshees as everyone feel to the left. Feet standing on the corner of floor meeting wall. Lights flickering on and off, sometimes off to never return back stranding people in the lower levels in perpetual darkness as the waters flooded chambers and pressed through cracks of doors to rooms that had been ripped open leaving jagged wounds of steal and rebar as divine attributes of décor floated out of them to the bottom of the icy Baltic waters where some passengers had already made their last stop on this doomed voyage. 

Mikasa kept David up right as they saw the problem. If they didn’t hurry they’d never make it across the ballroom without sliding down to the far left side. They’d rest there trapped, unable to climb up to the hallway opening and drown once it began to sink fully. Mikasa pulled him forward and started to run across the slanted floor, using the momentum and running upwards so that as they slid down they stayed within the frame of the hallway. Others followed their lead, some successful, more unsuccessful. Furniture rolled down the floor threatening the entire few precious seconds to take them out much like the old rusty barrel had clipped Mike’s shoulder during the tornado. If it didn’t take them down to their death it would surely wound them to the point they died unable to walk or use a shoulder. 

They barely made it in the hallway slamming into the left wall and scrambling for purchase as they tried to run again on such a slick slanted surface. Others were still frozen in fear and crying as many were separated from loved ones due to the hall being a traitorous place now, one that appeared safe to cross after the two appeared to have jogged across only have those recreate it as the ship continued to turn more sharply on its side and people fell to the bottom to their immediate or slow deaths. Mothers and children were separated, doomed. Fathers wounded trying to save others. It was horrible, the wails. The wails never ending and the ship’s creaking and groaning. 

Mikasa and David came to another short hallway where the slant was even more severe as the boat turned. Mikasa didn’t have time to take a step back to attempt a leap as she was thrown to the other side landing harshly. She clutched her sides, recovering quickly as she turned around frantically to see David moving back to get a running start. He was so heavy, how would he make it? She fretted as she started to run towards the ledge. The boat shifted, his foot slipped on the ledge and he didn’t spring well. She reached out as only a quarter of his body landed on the carpeted hallways floor that was now more of a wall. Mikasa had to try her hardest to lift him till they figured out where they could position themselves on the floor for purchase. 

The boat continued to shift, “Leave me,” David gritted out behind clenched teeth. Mikasa was angry, angry he’d suggest that, “You know what? Fuck you.” She pulled him and he was able to wedge his arm in the corner and pull himself up, “Did you just say fuck you?” She slid backwards trying to get up as he came forward picking her up and starting to run again, “Yes,” she panted between words, “FUCK YOU, DAVID LAVIE. FUCK YOU FOR EVER SAYING THAT. FUCK YOU FOR TELLING ME TO LEAVE YOU. FUCK YOU FOR BEING SO FUCKING STUPID RIGHT NOW. FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!”

David and Mikasa were now at the door for the deck. He pulled it open, “I just want you to live.” He said as the cold air whipped them in the face, “Because I love you, Mikasa. I’m in love with you. I want you to live.” Mikasa and David moved on to the slanted deck, people rolling past as they lost their footing. There was no time to deploy emergency boats, the ship was sinking quickly and David and Mikasa had been moving non-stop for almost twenty minutes and had passed many who were going to die or watched as they died. David went to the side finding a life vest for them both of them and strapping them on. “David,” Mikasa inspected his vest, “your vest is damaged.” “They were the only two left.” Her eyes narrowed, “Stop trying to die.” He snorted pushing her upwards, “Climb. We need to get to the railing and then crawl over. Then we have to push off at the right moment to not get sucked down with the boat. When it sinks it creates a vacuum. Then we have to survive the waters.” Mikasa had such a feeling of déjà vu as they climbed up the slick metal boat rails and ramps. People were still moaning and wailing as their friends were slipping and falling into the waters. Everyone looked like someone you knew, someone you wanted to see again.

David and Mikasa were almost at the top when the boat shifted again becoming such a sharp angel they all started dangling from the side of the boat. David and Mikasa were hanging on but the rails were so sick they couldn’t get enough grip to pull themselves over. Mikasa removed her scarf tying it tightly on the rail and used it to climb over knowing he’d never go first. Once on the other side she let him hold the scarf and pulled him over. They sat on the side, watching others hang on and fall off, listening to lamenting, the sound of the dying, the thuds into the frigid waters. “We don’t get in the water until we have to, okay?” David said under his breath, eyes wide open and calculated. She nodded and made an affirmative yes noise.

Mikasa felt odd, she felt removed from what was going on around her. She turned to David, hair matted to her face, “I love you, too.” David seemed caught off guard, “You do?” Mikasa searched his face before offering a small smile, “Was there ever any doubt? I’m in love you. I want you to live, too. Don’t leave me. Please.” The boat lurched down into the waters, they had seconds before they needed to jump. He reached out moving her hair from her face before leaning forward and kissing her quickly, “Jump well, Mikasa.” She untied her scarf wrapping it around his lifejacket before they stood up in a crouch and leaped off the ships rails into the black water.


	68. Des Wassermanns Weib

"What's your name?" "David. Yours?" "Mikasa." "Mikasa," he hummed while he gutted the fish, "battleship." She leaned against the wall, "How long have you been here?" "A few years." “Why haven’t you come around? We’ve been here a year and a half. Don’t you want to join the others?” “Didn’t know I was supposed to. I’ve helped when asked and given my input to your commander and that nice Mr. Arlert. He’s a fine person.” She snorted at the thought of Armin being a mister. He had actually helped and explained a lot about the soil and where to find drinking water. This forester had done his part helping humanity thrive. 

But, she was curious, "How did you do it? How long have you been outside the walls?" He put the fish down and cleaned them off along with his hands. He took them over to the skillet hanging over a man made stove, "Since.....my family left the capital and started moving towards Wall Maria. 13 or 14 years? We left the walls when Wall Maria first fell, in the night, running and using the gear till we got about ten or fifteen kilometers out from the wall and then we noticed that the titans didn't want us. They seemed drawn to the wall and we just kept going, further and further. We lived in caves and in trees. Then we eventually got here and we settled in this abandoned city. Found those stones and used them for lights and energy. Found books and we still had knowledge of the ancient languages so I learned to read them. It’s a lonely life but better than being in those walls."

”How many were you?” “Over 40.” “Oh, that’s a lot. Erwin would be very interested in that story.” “I’ll tell him if you wish.” Mikasa blushed hearing the sincere tone in his voice. Mikasa watched as his lips curved into a smile, "Levi and you are close?" She didn't know what to say, "Um he's my captain. Do you know him?" "Only from the underground. His mother was a friend of my mother's. I doubt he still remembers me. I am glad he lives." "He still does remember you." He sat down plating the meal and setting the table for two. She blushed again, hotter this time, that he was expecting her to stay. Who was she kidding? She wanted to stay. At 22 she knew she wanted to stay and spend time with a man she thought was interesting and....interested. "How do you know that?" "He and my brother told me to come here and meet you. Levi was very insistent and showed me the way here." David snorted, smirking dashingly, "Well, I am indebted to him. He and your brother, I see them around the village when I come to trade. Are they?" She nodded yes. "That's great.” He sounded truly happy for them and it filled her heart with warmth. He continued, “We all deserve better than living in those walls. That wasn't living. This is living, working, hunting, developing, evolving..... _loving._ " 

She wanted to love and be loved. He moved in his chair, "I’m sorry. You've all been here almost a year and a half but this is the first time anyone has come to see me. I apologize if I'm out of touch with regular protocol and pleasantries. I hope that I’ve not overstepped by fixing you a plate." “No, no it’s fine. Thank you.” She looked down as they ate silently. 

When she was finished she looked around noting he was in no rush for her to leave. It emboldened her. "Are you gunna let me stay the night?" He smiled, tilting his head to the side, eyes holding a fond look, "Only if you marry me." She snorted, intrigued, "Why?" "Because I intend to do right by you, by our people. Will you be the fisherman's wife?" "You barely know me." "Yet you're already entertaining the idea." "You don't love me." She mumbled, hand coming up to the old threadbare scarf pulling it up over her mouth, _Eren, I should never listen to you and your bright ideas. You and Levi have trapped me._

He became serious, "Wrong. The moment you walked up to my dock today and leaned over to gather up the net I loved you. I loved you better when on the way back from the shore you plucked the honeysuckle from the vine and gave me it's sweet nectar first before yourself, I loved you the most when you took off your coat inside without hesitation and hung it next to mine. I love you now beyond words as I realize you're here because you trusted your brother enough to come. Because family is important to you. We're not young anymore. We never were. I’m much older than you and I’m certain of what I want. You've been in the corps since fifteen, I assume. I've been the provider for myself these last four years. Sickness took my family from me and the lure of other places for those well enough to travel took the rest, whereas hate and tragedy took yours. I feel like I've stayed just for the chance to one day meet you. We're a fine match, really. I think it is beschert." She knew the word from her childhood and hadn't heard it used except when Levi once said it when he thought Eren would die in his arms and he pleaded to God all the reasons why he could not. She looked at David, gleam in her eye, stomach settled, heart sure, "So, how do we get married?"

He looked amused but slightly excited, "You circle me seven times and I give you a ring and pledge to you all the things I can give you and all of my love. Then we live together in eternal happiness." She smirked, "Well, that doesn't sound too bad." Mikasa stood walking around the hearth circling his chair seven times, "Ring?" He went to his room coming back and placing a fine band with an opal stone on it, "I pledge all I have and will have to you. I promise to love and honor and protect you. I will love you better than myself. I will always seek you out, in this life and the lives to come or in the eternal darkness." Mikasa leaned up on the tips of her toes kissing him as his hands held her closer. _Das Wassermanns Weib_ (the waterman's wife), she could get used to that. She pulled back, "We need to build a boat. Will you build us a boat?" He laughed scooping her up into his arms, "Yes, my wife. I shall do whatever you ask of me. There is nothing like a life on the water."

It was a short lifetime that passed before her as she realized her fears were founded and the darkness was encroaching upon her.

************

David burst up from beneath the water, his gasp breaking the silence. "MIKASA!?" He looked around finding her nearby, unresponsive. He gathered her and started trying to dislodge the water in her throat and lungs. He was sinking, vest defective and his body fat so low and muscles lean. He held her to him beating on her back and squeezing her till she sputtered and coughed. Her wheezing made him thank God. She clutched him shaking and crying, "I s-s-s-aaw, s-so mmmucch." He made cooing noses, "Shussshhh we need to keep moving. It'll take forever for someone to get to us.

They swam to an emergency boat that was upside down. They tried to flip it or crawl on it but it was useless. They held the rope around the sides so they would not be separated. Mikasa and David shook in the water, chilled to the bone, dangerously so. They started to look around for survivors but those still alive were too far away to get to. The boat to heavy to pull with them. Mikasa started to panic when something went by her legs, strong and heavy. "DAVID!" She screeched and cried, wailed as she started to become desperate. He soothed her best he could, spoke of things she didn't understand but that was okay.

Until it wasn't and the screams from the other survivors became worst and they knew something was getting them. David pressed his forehead to hers prayer after prayer and devotion of devotions. He told her how he loved her and how much he wanted to do with her. He begged her forgiveness for he had failed her. If only he was stronger or faster or had known. She had seen so much of him and she was still upset at what it all meant for her and the world they lived in. She told him and he listened as a hush fell over and only the occasional death rattle and gurgle of the dying pierced the calm of their conversation. At least she could die with him knowing, knowing the truth. 

Mikasa started to fade as the cold prevented her from feeling if she was still moving her legs or not. David kept alert but his vest was nearly useless and torn. She slid her vest off, "Switch with me." He sneered slightly, shaking so harshly it was comical, "No." Mikasa wanted to punch him, "Fuck you, just do it." David smirked slightly, "You cuss a lot when you’re angry." She sighed, lips quivering, "Fucking do it. I'll take yours but you're too heavy to keep using that the whole time." They switched vests. David snorted, after a few seconds, " Wow this is nice. You've been living the life with a working vest." Mikasa cursed at her new vest that wasn't providing hardly any support, "I'm scared." She felt a wave of panic come over her, "What if those creatures come back?" She started to sob becoming too upset. David moved closer to her, face against hers, lips brushing and shaking, "Shush, we won’t even go there Miki." She nodded sniffling and trying to suppress her sobs that threatened to wrench free from her throat, "I love you." "I love you, " The heavy bodies appeared again brushing against their legs as Mikasa whimpered and David could do little to soothe her.

************

Mikasa and David sat together in the helicopter while only three or four other survivors were lifted into another one. Over 700 people were dead inside that ship and another 200 had met the waters with little resistance. They had spent almost two hours in the water and were now being treated for hypothermia. David and Mikasa had traded off the vest back and forth till David punctured the side of the life raft with a piece of debris, deflating a side of the outer wall and allowing them to crawl up onto the orange plastic for the last thirty or so minutes to save their fingers and toes. They just wanted to go home and think about what they figured out. Mikasa wasn't the only one who had remembered things. 

They were taken to the hospital and checked out, both gave statements to the authorities and refused to be held overnight. Mikasa finished first and waited in the hall for David. She had on sweats provided by the rescuers when next to her the seat sank, "Mikasa." Chaya looked horrible, her hair still wet, her fingers bandaged, "I lost feeling in my finger tips but that might come back. Rabin put me up on a cooler or something that came loose from the deck." Mikasa reached over tears falling on her lap, "I'm so sorry. May his memory be a blessing." Chaya started to cry, "May all their memories be a blessing." 

***********

"Hello?" The voice sounded ragged and horrible, "who is this?" Mikasa leaned against the tile of the hospital wall, the metal payphone reflecting in the florescent light, "Eren?" She sobbed pitifully into the heavy black plastic phone. Eren’s breath was sharp, voice wrecked, "Mikasa....MIKASA MIKASA MIKASA...." Sobbing and the sound of something falling over, "Miki where are you?" She was going to come home.

*****************

Levi and Eren had come to Sweden for answers and now were picking up their loved ones. Levi had done his best holding things together for Eren but the thought of losing David had nearly put him in the grave. He felt like something had been lost, tragic, more so that the obvious. He needed David to live. Their rescue was national news but their names were not. Them leaving Sweden was quick and unpublicized, too. Something that was kept quiet due to the mass mourning. Chaya had been arranged flights and hotel stays thanks to David. She had wept opening having to part from them. They were asked to come to the funerals in Israel once she got the information. Mikasa felt like she was sending an orphan into the world but she had family. She had opportunities and wanted to see them again and work with them. She would marry her merchant and for the first time Mikasa hoped she would be blessed with children. Perhaps, she and Levi had more in common than before? Levi and Eren found them ready at the door, "I want to go to your home. I don't want to stay here. I want to go to your home, Levi, Eren, please. Please take us home."

They got on the next flight not talking about it that much. Levi liked space, Mikasa liked space, David was happy to be with her and that she was well and Eren was happy that they were all together. He sat with Mikasa as they fell back into a familiar sleeping position as kids when she first came to live with them and had been afraid of the night. Mikasa and David were issued temporary papers from the rescuers for travel as long as they'd come in for questions later if asked. The world was alive with debate over what had happened and they knew there would be a trial. A Mossad agent surviving didn't look good and the Norwegians let them go with minimal complaints and conditions. Mikasa had been thankful.

Once they got to the apartment Mikasa and David went into shock and Levi and Eren took care of them. Donner laid at the foot of the bed, sometimes licking Mikasa’s hand reassuringly. Donner was a blessing to her and she thanked him.

David’s back was warm and sturdy as she laid next to him and thought about all the things she’d seen and realized and had already lived through not just in this life. She crawled over the edge, Donner’s tail thumped on the wood floor as she went into the kitchen getting Eren’s phone off the charger. She opened it, finding the contact, and dialed. The ringer echoed in her ears, in her mind, before the person picked up. A grainy voice, “Eren?” Mikasa closed her eyes and then opened them before looking outside, “Why did you let them kill my parents?” A pause, “Because….” He sighed a long time, the metal sound of his glasses touching the countertop in the bathroom, “it was necessary.” 

__  
“Февраль. Достать чернил и плакать!  
Писать о феврале навзрыд,  
Пока грохочущая слякоть  
Весною черною горит.”  
“February. Take ink and weep,  
write February as you’re sobbing,  
while black Spring burns deep  
through the slush and throbbing.”  



	69. 735 Lavie

Eren opened the door of the bathroom entering his bedroom. Levi was still laying in the bed, snoring softly, while Donner sat at his side on the floor watchful gaze on Eren as he walked over to the chest of drawers pulling out a shirt. He left to go make coffee, stopping short of the doorframe to quickly run over and kiss Levi’s head. He was so glad that they were all safe and happy.

It had been a few days since Mikasa and David came back and they had been rather silent about their time on the ship and in the water. Eren understood, something had really changed Mikasa. She was herself but not. She was more frustrated than he’d ever seen her before. She was keeping something from him. He found her, relaxed in clothes Eren had purchased for her while she slept, in the kitchen staring into her tea. She looked up as he went to start the coffee, “Eren?” He stood against the cupboards, “Yeah?” 

“We need to talk.” He frowned, “Are you breaking up with me?” She smiled a little, “I wish.” It was so soft and sad it made his heart ache. He stood up straighter, “Do it. Do it like a band aid and just rip it off.” She gripped her cup, “I died. I died for a little bit in the water. Because of that I remembered things…things from past lives.” Eren stared at her with a disbelieving look on his face, brow furrowed, feature drawn up, “Um, you died?” “I kind of teetered on the edge. Almost drowned.” “Ohhh,” his face relaxed as he looked around the kitchen, “So you believe that we’ve lived past lives?” “Yes, I know we have. I know things.” “Knowledge of the unknown is a sign of possession, Miki.” “Then I am a soul possessing the body that was always meant for her.” “I’m not going to like anything you’re going to say, am I?” “I don’t know….it’s not all bad.”

Levi appeared, hair messy and eyes sleepy, “Save the sad shit for after breakfast.” Mikasa jumped at his voice. “Shit, you’re never jumpy.” Levi mumbled walking to the coffee pot looking into it as it ran it’s dark relief into the glass container. He wrapped his arms around Eren’s waist kissing the side of his neck and leaning on him. Eren held him closer, “Neshama…we need a” “Don’t you start again.” “Kurig. We have one at home.” “No.” “Why?” “Because.” “Because isn’t an answer.” “No.” “Levi.” “It’s too modern.” “Are you fucking serious?” “Shut up, Eren.”

David entered looking rough, “Boker tov.” (Good morning) He looked around before sitting next to Mikasa. Mikasa moved her chair facing in towards him. “So, let’s just get down to it. Mikasa and I had these experiences outside of the normal ones to expect while in the waters. Apparently, we’ve lived multiple lives, I know Levi, stay with me. And we’re here because we need to try and do something.” Mikasa nodded, “And if one of us dies then we’re doomed to repeat this cycle in another life.” Eren stared, Levi grunted, “Tooooo early.” Eren rubbed his back, “Sounds like,” “Shut up, Eren.” “What the Chabads believe with reincarnation.” “Damn you it’s too early.” “I mean, just be open to it.” “I’m open….to coffee.”

“I saw us in the first life where we were fighting Titans.” “Oh, what the fuck Eren?” “What?” “You set this up.” “I did not!” “Titans?!” “I DID NOT!” Mikasa cleared her throat and told them what she had seen and the bits of other lives where she and David had met or not met, which is how she came to conclusion that if someone isn’t born or dies before they meet or complete the task then the others are doomed to just keep living to be born again. David corroborated her story from what he’d seen and they both felt that there was a sense of urgency to it all because so far everyone was together in this life and that meant that they could figure out what exactly they were supposed to do. Levi sat with his coffee listening while Eren sat on counter with his feet in the sink, much to Levi’s disgust, “But, I mean….can we test it?”

Levi was confused, “How?” Eren shook his head, “I dunno. Like…oh my God…” Eren gasped. Levi turned around looking as Eren was frozen still, “Levi trust me.” He mumbled nearly falling on his face as he scrambled out of the sink and over to the small table they had with one drawer. He had put Levi’s mother’s things in it. Levi shuddered as he pulled it out, “Eren I,” “I know, Neshama. Please, trust me. Just this,” he held up one letter, “one letter, please.” Levi had a helpless look on his face before sighing and returning to his coffee, “Ahuvi, do what you want.” He mumbled into the dark pool.

He laid the letter in front of David, “What do you think she means?” Levi looked over as David scanned the letter noting the numbers in red in the corner, “Um,” he looked at Levi, “this is really simple, achki.” Levi stood up looking at it better, “Gematira?” David shook his head, “Yes, and this is you.” He pointed to the 734, “734 correlates to Levi.” David smiled, satisfied with his answer and the look of agreement on Levi’s face. “She did like the Gematira.” He managed a shaky smile at the memory.

Eren wavered, “Sooooo….” He added a new letter to the stack, this one more emotional and personal. David read it quickly before looking up to Levi, “Levi, we have much to discuss.” Levi shook his head, “Yes, the day the ship sank was eventful in Paris as well.” David looked at the numbers, “This is,” Levi finished, “David.” He pointed to the 718 before both men went silent and their worlds shook. Levi went to the drawer pulling it harshly out of the table and slamming it down before David who pawed through the papers and letters looking at them, reading them at a ravenous pace. Levi made a choking noise, “David…David…was this?” He held up a piece of paper as David held up a few more random numbers, his voice full of disbelief, “Y-yes, that’s me.” 

Eren looked at Mikasa, who sat with her hand on David’s back rubbing soothing circles. She searched Eren’s eyes before nodding, “Here.” He gave them the paper he’d saved for last: 734 735 718 735. Levi opened his contacts and started to dial a colleague from the university. He grabbed his keys and wallet going in to their room to pull on pants, “Oui, Pierre, J'aurais besoin que tu me rendes un énorme service.” (Yes, Pierre, I need a huge favor.) He motioned for David to follow him out the door leaving Mikasa and Eren to their coffee and discussions of past mistakes and future promises.

***************************

The building was old, white washed brick, floors clean with the gutter full of runoff from an early morning shower. Inside it was all marble and statues, more like a museum than a clinic and small university building of labs and classrooms. They waited in Pierre's office in relative silence until the door opened, "Bonjour, Levi it is wonderful for me to be here with you doing this for you. I hope, that it all goes well you know? I mapped the genomes like you asked and have here a sample of another to test it, un errr compare?" Levi nodded, "Compare, yes." "Yes, compare it to." He laid out all the papers carefully. He was a nice looking man, older in his late 40s with fine skin covered in freckles, and dark brunet hair that was tied back in a small pony tail. Pierre played in a folk band on the weekends and he had befriended Levi while he and Eren spent time researching in France last year. He had tried to recruit Levi as a singer, something Eren occasionally brought up much to his chagrin. _I fucking love that shitty ass brat._

David shifted in his chair anxiously, somewhat excited but more worried about what they would or would not find. They had a lot of things between them and this could help or hurt. Not to mention the things he and Mikasa had become aware of and had seen needed more factual evidence behind them. This wasn’t the same as having faith in God, this was having a sound grip on one’s mental state and knowing if one was a danger to society or not. Mikasa was no doubt recanting everything to Eren right now. It seems Eren is more open to what they were saying and had perhaps said something to Levi already, hence his disbelief in Mikasa’s strange titan exclamation and his accusation of Eren.

All in all, this was a tense moment that they needed to just weather and see through. He turned his attention to the doctor, "What did you find?" Pierre smiled, opening his desk drawer to remove a pack of pink camel lights that made Levi snort. His voice was pleasantly pleased, "Congratulations are in order it would seem.” He lit a cigarette, “You and Levi appear to be half brothers. You share a paternal line and here are the genomes with similar or same mutations, here, here, and here." So Armin was right and Levi now knew the serum didn't affect him because of these Levantine mutations. It changed the game when it came to his research but now....he was feeling....what was he feeling?

Both men sat in silence as Pierre talked on and on at length about their genetic lineage. He had become so intrigued and invested that he pulled resources to explore and had come to some shocking conclusions. Both men watched as he traced them back as far as he could with self gratifying zeal. However, much to their surprise, they kept looping back to one place over and over during their lines long history. Yes, the outline of time kept putting them geographically in the same areas supporting the theory that for at least 400 years they lived in the same small Germanic town where their lines crossed over and over through intermarriage and copious copulations. This period of time was during the so called “Dark Ages” that came before the middle ages where man contributed nothing to the world and little is known of it or what people went through. Levi took the information and thanked Pierre sincerely. David stood shaking his hand mumbling a blessing for health under his breath as they walked out onto the street.

The cars were now filling up as they tried to avoid traffic of rush hour. Small bikes whizzed by and the shops were closing across from the street. It had been more than a hand full of hours since they’d gotten there and had the extensive tests run. The manila envelop full of details was tucked inside of David’s jacket he grabbed on the way out. Levi looked out into nothing as the cars came by. They walked on until they were closer to home and in a more secluded area where both men ducked into a side ally way before crying and embracing one another. Levi and David’s tears mingled as they wept, faces close, and bodies shaking in the cool rain. Shaking from relief, shaking from happiness. Turns out all of those years they felt like they only had each other, two brothers by choice, was actually more true than anyone would have thought. Was this a way to heal? We're they finally coming home?

*********

Eren and Mikasa sat on the couch picking at the chips Eren had bought them that Levi didn’t agree with, “Treif, goyish treif,” he said mocking Levi’s monotone speech and stress. Mikasa giggled slightly, “Jean and Marco?” Eren looked up, “Decided to stay in Nashville longer than Erwin and Armin’s trip was. They found something interesting. I’m sure when they pop over here we’ll get more of the story.” “They’re coming.” “Yep, Levi mumbled something about missing two tone and Mario the other day and then bam, tickets were bought. He’s such a softy.” “So, they’ll be going to Italy while here, right?” “Yep, wanna go with them?” 

She shrugged, “Yeah, actually. I want to check out the fashion. I need to go back to Sweden, though.” “To give statements?” “To meet this person W wanted me to meet about my _situation._ ” Eren snorted and rolled his eyes, “Are you going to leave me, Miki?” Mikasa gave him a surprised and scrupulous look, “Why would I leave you, Eren? I love you. You’re my brother.” Eren smiled fondly, “Good, because I love you so much that I’d die if you left me.” She laughed, “Hardly,” she threw a throw pillow at him, “you’ve got Levi and as my past lives had shown me once he comes into the picture you’re pretty much the one leaving me. Sometimes I find David…sometimes not. Sometimes you’re not around and I find Levi and Armin and Jean. Jean and I have gotten together a lot.” “Really?” “Yeah, makes sense.” “Tots.” “What is Armin up to?” “He should be packing and getting ready to come to Paris this weekend.” “Call him and ask.” “Ooookkkkaaaaayyyyyy.” 

Eren opened his phone looking at his recent calls. He’d just pick Armin from the list but he saw a late night call he’d missed the other night. Wait, he hadn’t missed this, this was dialed. “Why did you call dad, Miki?” Mikasa drank from her bottled water, “I missed him.” Eren’s cheeks went red, shamed he’d questioned her given the obvious situation, “Sorry. Makes sense. I’m stupid.” “You really are.” She wanted to vomit. “I’ll see what Arm is up to.” She hadn’t told him yet, didn’t want to. She needed to soon. When the door opened and David entered wet and gorgeous she was a bit distracted by his parted lips and thick eye lashes. He removed a large envelop, laying it on the old air unit that was pumping out warm air on the cool rainy day to let it dry. He took his jacket off and went to their room. Where was Levi? 

She got up moving into the guestroom where he was wiping his bare chest off with a towel, he smiled at her and her heart fluttered, “Miki,” he sounded so happy, “Levi and I are brothers.” She smiled but was confused, “I don’t really…I mean you each call each other…” He laughed moving forward to gather her up to him kissing her tenderly, “By blood, Miki. By blood he is my half brother.” Mikasa was pleasantly surprised. She leaned back, hands cupping his face and pulling him forward, they kissed happily, giggling against each other before he let her down. “I have a brother. I have a real brother, Mikasa. It’s somewhat odd considering how our lives have brought us together but, then, well it was predestined but still I have a brother, a brother who is alive and I already know and love and have spent a life time with. I am so happy.” He smiled but tears flowed freely from his eyes and she wiped them away, surprised by them and compassionate towards him, “I am so happy for you and Levi.”

Eren came inside, “Um where is Levi? Mikasa, Armin isn’t picking up so I’ll call him later. We gotta get you a new phone.” David stood, god like and resplendent, “He is on the phone with Erwin.” Eren’s eyes widened, “Oh…” “Why oh?” “I’m glad because you know, we miss him an’ stuff but,” he mumbled, “he might get sad and start getting sick. He’s been doin’ so well right now not getting sick and anxious away from Erwin.” David nodded, Levi had always been like that, “I think that now that he has you perhaps things are a bit different?” Eren toed the corner of the doorframe where the door would settle if closed, “So, what happened?” David smiled wickedly, “What do you think? You stacked the deck.” Eren’s cheeks turned red, shamed again, “I really don’t know. I felt bad using his mom.”

David walked forward hugging him, “Well, I’m glad you did. You can call me,” he whispered smugly, “brother-in-law.” Eren squealed with glee hopping up and down hugging him tighter, “OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD YES YES I CANNOT BELIEVE IT OMG TOTS BLOWN MY MIND I MUST CALL ARMIN OMG BUT LIKE WHAT IF YOU MARRY MIKASA IS SHE MY SISTER AND SISTER IN LAW LIKE OH HASHEM DID I MAKE THAT WEIRD LIKE TOTS GOTTA CALL ARMIN.” David released him and Eren dialed Armin again, this time getting a voicemail, which he hated, because voicemails are devices of the devil, “Betch, fuckin’ pick up! I got shit to tell you. I can’t believe you’re not picking up. BOOOO YOU WHORE!” He disappeared into the living room leaving Mikasa and David alone smiling.

Levi came in eventually, kissing Eren at the door lovingly, between kisses he spoke, “Erwin,” Eren’s hands wrapped around his waist smoothing his wet shirt, “is in,” Levi’s hands made their way to Eren’s hair, “Russia.” Eren whined pulling back, “Well, I can’t keep progressing with “happy you’ve found a brother” sexy time when you tell me that. THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO BE COMING HERE AND THEN GOING WITH US TO THE UKRAINE!” Levi smirked, “So you’ve heard my new, shitty brat?” He raised an eyebrow, “He said he had to. We’re going to the Ukraine and then we’ll go to them. He didn’t ask us to come but….my old man in the fucking Taiga, that isn’t happening without my supervision.” Eren smiled, “But, why?” Levi stroked his hair back admiring his features, “Something about Armin and destiny. I’ll tell you more later, einayim sheli.” “That’s Erwin’s nickname.” “I know,” he whispered, “but you’re my eyes now, too. Thank you for what you did. Je t’aime.” Eren leaned his forehead against his, “je t’aime aussi.” 

******************

Armin and Erwin were in a whole new world. They’d been traveling the past week by all modes of transportation: train, bike, car, floating oil rig (his most hated yet most comical experience), helicopter, and moose (he was a moose natural according to the locals). Armin was tired but this was partly his fault, his responsibility. He’d been a very careless sadomasochist as Erwin had him face down on his stomach, hands moving delightfully inside of him to coax out moans, deep from within, shaking him as they let loose from his throat to die in him petite mouth full of bed sheet. He’d played the uber-submissive since the wedding. He let Erwin take control even more than before to reap what he’d sewn by spending the night with Levi. He couldn’t say he didn’t love punishment but today was particularly cruel.

He’d teetered on the edge of release for over a good two hours. Erwin decided if he liked masochism he’d get it. Erwin had been aloof lately, he was searching for something and Armin had decided that it must all be going back to that place inside where he wanted to know where his father was or who he was. Perhaps, Armin should have understood that if he’d only paid attention to the psychology of his release induced state of mind and not on the supposed off chance that his fiancé’s psychological daddy issues, ha who was he to talk here?, were making him be so cruel then he’d just have been better off and not currently trudging through the woods with bloody feet and dirty hands and face. 

“What will you give me if I let you come, baby?” Armin squirmed, panting, trying not to whine at the divine timbre of his man’s voice, “What do you want?” He tried to bargain from his place of submission, such a fool. “Mmm you’ve got a lot skills, Mr. Arlert.” _Oh yeah, about that…_ “What’s your favorite?” He’s thighs shook and it took all of his control to muster the words without them shaking. Erwin chuckled, dark and promising, “Information.” Armin managed a smirk, “You would want that, you firebrand.” He moaned out the last word as Erwin moved in ways that defied logic. Armin wanted release, “What kind of information?” Erwin kept on, “You got a package a while back, never saw you open it. You’ve actually hidden it so well that I’ve never found it either.” Armin wasn’t thinking clearly anymore but he was still trying to maintain control, “You’re the fucking STASI, Erwin Smith, I swear!” Erwin licked a stripe up his spine, kissing and biting the supple flesh, “What is it?” His voice was low and dark, Armin knew that voice wasn’t messing around.

He thought enough about it to haggle, “I’ll tell you, but you let me come first. I’ll tell you and show you. You can do what you want with it.” Erwin hummed, “Mmm that’s not the bargain.” Armin whined unabashedly, “Who are you to deny me, Mr. Smith?” Erwin was actually very amused at his little love slave having such a mouth on him, “I’m in control.” “Then you’ll be doing this all day. I will not break, Erwin Smith. Torture me all you want, you German Gebildeten, I will not reveal myself as an enemy of the state for I am not.” Erwin’s smirk was plain on his skin. There was mercy to be had. He let him find release. Armin thought he died, his bliss so strong. When he woke in Erwin’s arms he realized the situation he was in was a tricky one. He didn’t want to lie, not to Erwin. Maybe it was time?

Erwin kissed his bruised wrists, “Baby, time to pay up. I want that information, the state’s information.” He smirked, dangerous glint in his eye. Armin turned to him, “Daddy, don’t get mad at me.” Erwin wasn’t so playful anymore, “I won’t get mad at you.” “Promise?” “Ehhh that makes me very nervous Armin.” “Promise?” His baby voice and pinky extended for Erwin to wrap his own around it made Erwin relent, “Promise.” He mumbled while Armin shakily removed himself from his arms. He left, returning later with a package and thin envelope, “I got this from the guys in Italy. I did this because I thought one day, you’d want to know. I didn’t want to ask you about it and make things harder than they had to be. I hid it, not to lie, but because I wanted it to be your choice if you wanted to know and see. I wanted it secure for you. I read this letter and that’s because I needed to proof it. I’m sorry if you’re upset or feel betrayed.” 

Erwin took the envelope, opening it slowly, “Will this…upset me?” Armin shrugged, “I don’t know, Erwin. If I did I would tell you but I think, hope, that maybe it’ll help?” Erwin nodded, trusting Armin. He saw the summary of the first page, medical results to follow on the subsequent pages: _Father’s name Zadkiel Erith Smith. Age 53. Profession: Traper/Hunter. Location: Taiga, Siberia._ **Closest living relative: Son, Erwin Ziv Smith.** Erwin’s eye couldn’t believe what he was seeing, “Baby, you….you got this for me?” Armin sat back down on the bed, “Of course, I wanted it just in case.” Erwin looked up, eyes bright and thankful, “I love you.” Armin smiled, “Good, I was worried.” Erwin wiped his eyes, “I have to go, Armin. I have to meet him.” Armin looked over as Commander hopped on the bed between them. He petted the silky fur, “I know. I’m coming with you.”

*****************

”I’m sorry.” The train moved along the track at the twilight as she looked outside. Her lips moved, “I’m sorry.” The words felt heavy on her tongue as she stretched, “Es tut mir Leid.” She said a bit louder in the empty train car. Nothing mattered right now, nothing mattered and she felt like her sorrow would eat her alive. “Es….tut mir….sehr Leid.” Her words cracked as she nearly doubled over almost sobbing, “Ich hab’” she let out a silent wail, mouth open and ugly, “alles versucht…” (I’m so very sorry. I tried everything.) Who was she even speaking to? Herself?

”Papiere!” (Papers) She jerked from the window, the table shook, white table cloth clean and fresh from the wash. The plates clicked porcelain on porcelain in their holders behind the bar, glasses clinked high like melodies as the car shifted back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. A monstrous extension of man mad killing machine. She closed her books and diary.

The man stopped beside her, “Meine Dame.” (My lady) He tipped his hat, “Guten Abed. Ich brauche ihrer Reisepass, bitte.“ (Good evening. I need your passport, please.) His teeth were straight, white, and his face shaven close and against the grain. She looked up and then back down searching in her purse but was unable to find her passport, “Bitte, entschuldigen Sir mir. Ich…Ich hab’s meinen Reisepass vergessen. Bitte, lass mich nur meinen Koffer checken, dann“ (Please, excuse me. I...I have forgotten my passport. Please, let me check my luggage and then...) „Nein, was haben wir hier? Ein Schwarzfahrer?“ (No, what do we have here ? A fare dodger?) Her eyes narrowed, she was angry now. „Nein, mein _lieber_ Herr. Hoeren Sie mir gut zu. Ich sagte nur, dass wann Sie mir meinen Koffer checkn lassen sollen, dann werde Ich ihm zu Ihnen bringen und zeigen.“ (No, my lovely gentelman. Listen to me well. I said that if you would just let me check my bags then I would bring it to you and show you.) A thud on the table, “You forgot your pass, Miss.” The black soot of hell dripped on those words. 

The man checked the pass and left. She looked at the pass and her diary, pages stained with tears and memories. “So, you’re about an hour outside of Moscow.” She looked out the window noting the bare landscape, “I am.” She offered plainly, not wanting to continue the conversation. “We are very excited.” She looked back at him, “I have a question.” He leaned back in the seat, black suit jacket wrinkled slightly, white shirt collar dirty, “Yes?” She held his gaze, the world was tunneling in on her, sounds blending into one drawn out ring of the metal on metal of the tracks and trains, trains that once bore women, men, and children to their deaths, it screamed, “Do you actually believe the shit you say or are you one of those people, the ones that only know how to hate?” He looked back at her, slight smirk at the edge of his face, “Neither, actually.” He reached over taking her crystal glass of champagne, “Alcohol isn’t good for the throat, you know.” She wanted to spit on him, curse him, lay his head on the tracks before the train moved over it. Kill him.

“What type of person are you?” She put her passport in her coat pocket, orange jewels of her necklace and earrings catching the light of the car as they popped on weakly, flickering as the filaments caught fire, “Someone who wants to watch the world burn.” She pushed her chair back leaving him at the table with her now empty glass. She wanted to burn.


	70. Gibst du mir Steine

“You got water here?” She walked up the hill, mud stuck to her shoes and leaves in her hair, “or will I have to go round to the creek and get some every morning?” [He](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/2b/90/3a/2b903a17be49644af6de901a489b25b2.jpg) was leaning in the doorway, cigarette in his mouth, eyes blue and piercing, red hair striking against his fair skin and red flannel shirt, “I’ll get you water, don’t worry.” She smiled ruefully, “Good. I’m a city girl.” He raised an eyebrow, “You’re some sort of girl, alright.”

******************

They had met in darkness, in the streets in front of a bar. He wore a thick black wool coat, red satin trim on the pockets, a gift. He had polished his boots, wore nice pants made of tweed. He stood at an amazing 6’2 and half towering over others in there bar where they met. She’d done her best to remain unnoticed and alone. She took a shot of rough vodka, “Do you love me?” He smirked, eyebrows raised, lips puckered around the lip of his shot, he downed it, eyes shining, and profile striking, “Of course,” he wiped his mouth, “but I ain’t stupid enough to fall in love with you.” She barked a laugh leaning over the table, “Thank HaShem for that.” 

He looked over to the door noting a familiar face as it appeared pushing through the other patrons, “He’s here.” She shuddered, “Let’s go.” He smirked, nodding and grabbing his coins from the bar top, “Yes, the air suddenly smells like death.” He ushered her out the back and into the thick piles of snow back to her hotel to get her things while he searched the bars. She got her things and they went to his hotel on the edge of town where his friends stood watch in the doorways and street corners. He’d always made friends wherever he went. He’d always found people to follow him. “This is the room.” 

**************

He wasn’t interested in love, never really had been. He was a loner, a black sheep. He’d had a few lovers, didn’t matter their sex. He’d had a few stalkers; he’d take care of them when they crossed the line. He had been a general in the red army for a stint, reached 2 stars easily. He was a tour de force, one couldn’t resist. He was the summer where fresh strawberries bloomed. He was something to believe in, someone to die for. She admired him and had always done so. “What’s it going to be like?” She took off her shoes looking at his back and the creases of his shirt once his coat was removed, “It’s going to be what we want it to be like. No one can see you here, not God, not the devil, no one, because I’m the angel of revenge, my dear. I’ll take care of you.”

*****************

”You’re sure.” She nodded when he asked, papers on the floor. He ran his hands through his hair, russet furs drying outside and on display through the thick plastic windows, ”When he finds out?” He turned around, “Then what?” She shrugged, “I’ll never tell him.” He nodded, “I think that’s best. I wouldn’t want him to hurt him.” She tilted her head to the side, “Or, you know….” He smiled, “Yeah, yeah.” He sat on the edge of one of the twin beds, “How is he?” She changed into her sleeper set, “He’s good. Wanted to me to make sure you were doing well, that you were taking care of yourself and not in jail as an enemy of the state.” He snorted laying back as she climbed in her own. His hands moved up and down his stomach, “And he’s okay with this.” It was a statement, not a question. “Yes,” she said in the dark, “he is.”

*******************

Papers littered the floor, dark emeralds and forest conifers. Light filtered in, cobalt blue and white lagoon. There were flowers on the table, lily of the valley and cornflower. The heavy oak, stained and inlaid with gold. She moved against the white sheets, hair free, skin cool, finger displaying proudly the large diamond ring. “He must really love you.” He whispered against her skin. She opened her eyes, fox like and lethal, “He must really trust you.” The radio crooned, “Mi ricordo quando noi. Eravamo due bambini. E puntavamo le pistol. Dai cavalli a dondolo. Bang, bang.”

******************

“We should kill him.” “Wouldn’t do any good.” “He’s too invested.” “He knows so much.” “Why are we doing this?” “Because it’s predestined.” “I don’t believe in that.” “You wouldn’t.” “Fate, destiny, that doesn’t own me.” “You would think that.” “Well, what purpose does he serve?” “I’m not sure. I hate him.” “Therefore, you can’t see his worth.” “No, I can’t.” “He’ll hurt you.” “He will and he has.” “I’ll shoot him. I’ll shoot him right in his fucking head.” “Someone will probably do that one day, but not one of us.” “I don’t love you.” “But, I always will.” “He’ll kill it, he’ll kill it if he knows.” “He will never know.” “What does he think about it?” “He says, “take care and come home soon. I love you.”” “He must.” “He does.” “Do you?” “More than anything.”

**********************

She had always felt a kindred spirit with him. He reminded her of someone. Perhaps, he was just so free, free like her husband was with her when they first met. She loved him, truly. She longed for the days he'd go back to feeling free, loose from the chains and the weight of it all. He wasn’t a bad man, that wasn't his game. He was trying to stay apolitical; he was trying to stay sane. But you had to pick a side, a fence is a fine place to rest but it will soon become a spike. Unfortunately, she was in love with a dying man, the cancer plain before her as she sat at the table, fine cloths and crystal. How ironic.

He ate slowly, deliberately. He didn't want her to know he had suspicions, doubts that she was seeing someone here. She owed him things, everything really. Her career would have been even bigger if she'd just stayed off the stage in Tel Aviv, if she'd just kept her thoughts private he could have done something more for her. He could only do what they needed, there were people who relied on him, on his goals. He wanted her to play a rather large part in the realization of those said goals.

"Who paid for dinner? Reiss or the Wall?" She asked, honestly curious. "The Wall." She moved her food around, "You've gotten awfully big if you're running your own expense account. Trampling Jewish dreams and exploiting angry punk teens in Germany is getting you far." He smirked; he liked their back and forth, their rapport, "Es lebe der Punk." (Punk lives) He chuckled sipping his wine. "I'll be going to Israel on my own. I'll be doing things on my own from now on."

He leaned back, his fine features sinister, “No, you won’t.”

************

It was the last night in Moscow, a month and a half whirlwind. She laid on the bed, sheets dirty. He’d left, per request. She’d done it, sold what was left of her soul to the devil. There wasn’t a hell, but maybe this was the closest she’d ever come. She lit a cigarette, tip red and orange in the shadow, smoke billowing out thick and heavy between swollen parted lips. 

He ‘d come to her, persistent and cruel. His hands had bruised as he pushed her against the wall. The phone still lay off the hook, the tone of an empty line an answered prayer. This was it, how she was going to protect her husband, how she was going to be happy, for a little while, at least. If he left them alone, kept it strictly professional, then she’d give him what he wanted. He wanted everything, her body, her love, a child, her soul. She laid there, limp and cold, detached with visions of the displaced person’s camp. Her life was a fucking lie, her mother and father’s lives, lies. It was all smoke and mirrors. The truth was ugly, it was monstrous. It rose up, like a bear, from the forest of her life. It towered over her, bared its teeth at her, and its claws tore flesh from bone, lo it was a horror. 

But he was that bear. He was everything that ever hurt her or tried to keep her from becoming what she wanted and doing what she wanted in life. He was the man that came between her and her husband, the man that had been sucking him dry till the Reiss family intervened with wads of cash and ideas for her husband, ruining his spotless reputation in academic. When they were out, all eyes were on them due to the rumors that he and she were sleeping together, rumors he no doubt relished in and now he was here getting what he wanted.

She hated him. He came, he left, and she laid there smoking. Pack after pack and countless hours later till she ran out. She reached over flicking on the radio and finding an uncensored station from west Germany, “Gibst du mir Steine, geb ich dir Sand….Gibst du mir Wasser, rühr ich den Kalk….Shau ich dich an….wir bauen eine neue Stadt....” Thank HaShem she was already pregnant.


	71. Betongiessen

“Come on, baby. We’re almost to the post.” Armin’s face was the epitome of Levi-disgusted-at-everything. Erwin felt himself grin inwardly as Arming carried his pack up the hill. He’d refused to let Erwin take it. “I’m not trying to be a bitch, but I need new socks.” Armin had worn through even his thickest pair these past days, it was beyond annoying. Erwin waited at the top of the ledge, “Sure, let me just go to the Wal-Mart over by the crooked tree, my love.” He snickered as Armin cast him a dangerous glare, “I’ll never sleep with you again, Mr. Smith.” Erwin was unfazed, he faced him squarely, “Well, I’m not the only Smith here.” Armin glared more.

They showed up at the airport and Erwin noticed Armin keeping his passport to himself. Of course, Erwin became suspicious when it seemed a clerical error had been made to his name and the helpful employees were printing him a new boarding pass. "I bought your ticket, how was there an error made?" Armin shrugged, his voice babyish and it set off alarms for Erwin, “Don't worry your pretty sweet face about it, my shining jewel." He tried to slink away as Erwin's arm deftly wrapped around him pinning him to his side, he proceeded to pillage the village that was Armin, all of his bags and personal pockets and things. Armin squirmed, outraged, "ERWIN! STOOOOP!" Erwin persisted finding his passport and opening it. He closed it, not finding anything noteworthy until he snapped it back open, "Well," his voice was so smug, thick with pleasure and surprise, "what do we have here, Mr. _Smith_! I was unaware you'd take my last name even before the wedding!" Armin pouted, "Shut up......'was gunna be 'surprise. I hate your stupid face." He released Armin, smirking, eyes shining with self-satisfied glee, "Armin Smith," he turned the words over in his mouth, "god that sounds so good. My Armin Smith. This must be the high Levi gets when Eren is called Ackermann. Damn! This is better than black tar heroin. 

Armin snorted, taking his papers and then Erwin's hand. They shuffled down through the people in the crowded airport, Armin was silent save for the occasional surprised and flattered noise elicited by Erwin's impressive speeches of love and self gratification. He told him at the terminal about David bringing him back to life. Mr. and Mr. Smith is what he had them listed as on his note book he kept for personal notes and work. Armin was happy he was so obviously pleased by this, despite it being somewhat awkward for him. He truly enjoyed his last name. He wanted to bury Arlert when he thought of his parents.

Armin had Marilyn's diary in his bag while Erwin did all he could to try and contact Zadkiel but it was to no avail. They'd be showing up cold turkey on his doorstep, if he even had one. Erwin told Armin he could read what he wanted. Erwin hadn't started so Armin felt strange being privy to such private matters without his knowledge. He pawed through, sometimes making Erwin stop and read. Erwin seemed to hesitate each time and by hour six on the plane Armin wanted to know why. "Well," he began, voice small and childlike, "I know if I start then it'll be over with soon. I want to draw it out. This is all I have of her own opinions and thoughts. She's going to tell me things through the book that I'll read for the first time only once. I want to savor it."

Armin could understand that so he didn't push. He read, enraptured by her words and the sometimes vague notes she made. Apparently, what Marco's family had discovered was just a very, very well constructed lie, though he hadn't revealed the exact specifics of the lie or grand scheme yet. It was no doubt she was Jewish, that Abulafia was obsessed with her, and that Gabriel was a truly tortured man when it came down to it. She spoke at length about how Gabriel was a sensible man whose good nature and large heart was continually exploited by those around him. He started to grow tired of it all and did research into the R E I S S family. _What the fuck?_ Armin felt strange seeing the name and he started to feel nauseas. He slammed the book closed moving it into Erwin’s lap quickly, reaching forward for the bag to throw up in.

Armin’s head pounded, his skin slick with sweat, his eye burned and he felt like he was going to throw up. In order to revive the evolved super species to an ideal number, other competition must be taken out. This will secure the means to keep the power and knowledge within a few capable hands, hands that have a common core and belief. It’s hard, being the holder of power and it’s not for everyone. Martin Luther realized this all too late after translating the sacred Latin texts into German, the people’s tongue. They cannot handle the power, it is too great for their hands. You’re lucky, you all here today. For you all are those handpicked for that group which will remain. You are a product of fate. You are our Lebensborn realized. Especially, you…” 

Erwin stroked his back as he vomited, “Baby, you never get sick! What’s wrong?!” Armin started to cry, lurched forward and head pounding, “I don’t know. Get me something. I think…Migraine, Erwin.” Such a sever Migraine on a plane was hell itself. Erwin quickly called a flight attendant over. Someone offered a high grade migraine relief tablet, Armin’s at home in their closet. He sometimes had them, but not often enough and not without warning. Erwin had only been through one with him, horror stories from Eren had made him proficient in what Armin would need. He wrapped ice in a napkin and put it over his eyes while covering him in his blanket. He tried to be strong but seeing Armin sick always upset him.

Now they were here at the post that was closest to the area of Taiga Zadkiel, or simply called Zad in Russia by his friends at the post, lived in. Erwin had been happy with Armin’s recovery but upset that it might happen again and without warning. They gathered more supplies at the post and Erwin was surprised at how well Armin was picking up on Russian. He’d tried to cram as much in as possible but Armin, like Levi, had a gift for language. “Have you been reading Marx in its original in order to have such good speech, comrade?” He teased as they ate their sandwiches on the wooden steps on the of old outpost porch. Armin snorted, nicking his chin at a woman who passed to the local well, “How old you think she is?” Erwin appraised her, mischievous glint in his eyes, “’bout 67.” Armin snorted again, “Probably more like 12.” Erwin cackled, failing miserably at not drawing attention to them. Armin snuggled closer, playfully bumping his head on his shoulder, “Life out here is rough. I’ve even got wrinkles myself from this lifestyle.” Erwin feigned mock horror, “Nooooo, you’re skin is still,” he moved to take Armin’s chin between his fingers, “Uh…oh well, you look positively ready to cash in social security.” Armin tried to bite his fingers, “These are good people, no doubt, but they’re hard.” 

Erwin leaned over, his head resting on top of Armin’s. He looked out at the woods around them, feeling the chill even in Summer. There was snow all around them. Siberia was a cruel mistress. Why was his biological father living all the way out here? Would he even want to speak to him when they showed up? He looked at Armin’s cute button nose and his ring as it glistened in the midday sunlight. The old screen door creaked as it opened, The older woman who owned the shop and knew Zad appeared, her hair wrapped like an old Babushka, “Hey, you two, he’s only short walk away. Maybe five hours if slow. We give you these things and you can make it there by time darkness comes.” She slung an extra bag of supplies at them and then another, “Dats for Zad.” She went back inside and Armin and Erwin gave each other surprised and amused faces, keeping their laughter inside while their cheeks hurt and lips trembled, Armin was the first to speak, “Aaaalllrightyyy theeeeen. Let’s go. Darkness comes.” Erwin slapped his arm as he stood, “Shut. The. Fuck. Up.” Armin snickered pulling his boots on over his sore and bloody feet. “Carry me, daddy.” He made the saddest face as Erwin shook his head no.

Armin pouted, voice childish, “Mean daddy.” Erwin watched as he turned to walk away before scooping him up and carrying him over his shoulder, giggling. “Nice daddy.” They were set to arrive in five hours but Armin would only get to ride for about an hour and a half on the Erwin express before he became too heavy. 

**************

The sun was setting as they started up the steep hill where smoke was coming from above the tree line. It was cold, very cold. More snow fell than before. Wherever they ended up it was more north and high in elevation. Armin looked around, an eerily feeling, “Erwin, don’t make fun of me but I feel really weird here.” Erwin pressed on, “I don’t want to talk about it.” Armin’s head jerked up, _So, Erwin feels it too and it’s enough for him to not want to talk about it. Fuck._ “Erwin,” Armin’s voice was slightly higher, panic setting in, “you can’t just say that and keep going. It’s weird here. Where are we?” Erwin had just reached the plateau, “Armin, hush, not right now. I don’t want to talk about it. Just ignore it.” Armin started to shimmy up the hill quicker until he reached Erwin. Erwin was standing still, breathing labored, “Armin, I’m scared so….just let it be.” Armin took his hand, “Okay.”

They edged through the forest, snow getting thicker, light dissipating. Sleeping in the snow wouldn’t be ideal but they’d done it before. Unfortunately, they were prepared for regular weather. This was anything but regular. The wind seemed sinister, the trees bowed to the powerful gusts, and Armin stuck close to Erwin who was now looking positively lethal. He pushed Armin up against a tree, back crashing into his chest, winding Armin with the force. His body covered him as he faced the forest, knife ready, gun in their pack after he bought it illegally on the oil rig. Yes, that was his first big Russian purchase and Armin had scoffed. He wasn’t scoffing now and wished he’d not asked to keep it in the pack because it made him uncomfortable. Why did it make him so uncomfortable? 

Erwin growled lowly as his body tensed. Armin went into kill mode as well, reaching for his own knife. “Schto toot oo nas?” (What do we have here?) The voice was smug, mocking, deep, and familiar. Armin’s skin prickled, “Erwin,” but then he was gone, wrestling with the man, wielding the knife to kill as they pounded on one another. The fight was brutal but Armin couldn’t stay to the side and just watch so he rushed in, taking on the other man wearing thick furs and a black wool coat with red satin trim. His hair was long, so long it was at his waist when standing and it spread out on the snow in a crown of red like blood. Armin missed a breath, only a breath and he was on his back, knife at his throat and sneer on his face for being so weak. The Two Wolves on his back by some Siberian hunter. He was embarrassed.

“Now, where were we?” _English now, how convenient? I guess Russian’s fight differently from Americans._ He picked Armin up keeping his hold tight and the knife against his skin, nicking it a bit for the show of red. Erwin was so angry it scared Armin. The feral look in his eyes, the curve of his lips into a rabid sneer. He shook from waves of anger. The man was tall like Erwin, built like Erwin, and it was clear he was used to being the one in charge…similar to Erwin. Armin laughed, gurgled but a laugh. Both men were caught off guard, “What’s your name?” The man seemed very amused when he answered, “Why would you ask that in this situation?” _Oh yes, that dashing humor just like Erwin._ Armin laughed more, loudly and less constricted now that the man relaxed his grip on the knife, “Is it Zadkiel?” He smirked more, now very amused, “Perhaps.” Armin turned slightly, “So it is. Do yourself a favor and show us back to your cabin. It’s fucking freezing and I’m tired.” He chuckled loudly, “You’re fucking crazy.” He stilled, “No,” Armin turned his face up to meet him, “I’m your future son-in-law. That’s your son you just grappled with and now it’s almost pitch fucking black out here so we should get going.” Zadkiel released Armin like he was burned, appraising Erwin up and down before leading them off to his cabin. He had two thoughts: He couldn’t believe that he found him and that boys must really look for a mate like their mother because that little blond firecracker has Marilyn Smith written all over him. Zad smirked to himself at the thought, _I miss you, Marilyn_.

*************

Eren sat on the bed with Levi behind him pressing soft kisses to his shoulder and neck. Levi had been so happy since their wedding Eren never wanted to leave France nor do anything that would make him lose this happiness. He and David were closer than ever. They wanted to piece it all together but they’d left to go to the store and would be back any moment now. Eren had the things his mother left him spread out as they went through them. Levi kissed him again teeth gently brushing against his skin, “Keep doing that and I’ll be reduced to a quivering mess, Neshama.” Levi chuckled, “That’s exactly how I want you.” Eren smiled, picking up a photo, “Have you seen this one?” Levi looked over his shoulder to look.

It was a long moment till Levi spoke, “Well, that’s me but not a-a-and…” He pawed through the pictures but Eren started to feel sick as they were laid out before him. “Levi, looking at this stuff makes me feel bad. I got really ill the other night when I looked at them.” Levi wrapped his arm tighter around his waist pulling him back into him, closer, feeling his weight and smelling his scent, “Really?” He breathed against his warm flesh. Eren nodded, feeling more comfortable, “Yeah especially when I see this really damaged one. All the faces are blurry and if I look at it long enough I’ll throw up.” Levi went still, “Mmm my love, nothing is wrong with the photo. I can see all of the faces.” Levi was cautious because the faces were astounding. He turned the photos over as Eren pointed at the back of the one of Levi and the person whose face was missing, “See, I can’t read this and it made me throw up when I tried. It says Levi but after that it’s just random letters.” “Eren…..it’s written very plainly on these photos…” “What?” The door opened to the living room. “Mikasa, David.” Levi called and the door opened shortly.

Levi held the photo up to them, “Can you see the faces in this photo?” Mikasa and David looked at it, “Yes.” Both said slowly and cautiously. Eren frowned, “I can’t.” Mikasa stood awkwardly to the side, “Well, in the picture it’s…Levi, Erwin, Jean, Marco, and you. We’re there but we’re not in uniforms….and Armin is missing….” David cleared his throat, “Where was this taken from? This photo specifically.” Eren looked at the back, “Some catalogue.” David and Levi looked at one another, “Was there anything in the bag, Levi? Like a, sign or?” Levi dug around picking up the tin box that belonged to his mother. It was very light weight but made well. The lid was heavy because it was so well made.

“Nothing…” Eren looked back at him taking the tin box, “Or…” he shook the box and then opened it looking at the seam that fitted inside the lip of the box, “Miki give me a bobby pin from your hair.” Mikasa had pinned her bangs back and she quickly removed one and the rubber stopper on the end. Eren fiddled with the lid popping it open where a small key fell out on the bed. “Looks like there was something.” David removed a small slip of paper, “ Numéro de la boîte de verrouillage 317. Première banque de Paris.” (Lock box number 317. First bank of Paris) Levi and David both exchanged the same glances as Mikasa hummed, “I’ll stay and make coffee. You and David should go. Eren can stay here and keep me company. We need to speak to Armin. He’s not replied to your messages.” Eren knew she was right but he wanted to go to the bank, “I wanna go with Levi, though.” Mikasa’s face was hard, “No, stay with me.” He would not deny her request. It was too odd.

****************

“Eren?” “Yeah?” “Do you ever think about our childhood?” “Um no, actually. Should I?” “I’ve been thinking about it.” “Really? With us specifically or with your parents?” “Both.” “Oh.” Eren put the coffee cup down. It made a small “tink” sound on the counter top as Mikasa leaned forward, Greie Gut Fraktion playing on the radio, an oldie and odd for France since it was neue deutsche Welle from the 80s, “Dad knew that my parents were going to be killed, Eren.” Eren’s cup and saucer fell off the counter. She continued, “He let them die so he could get me. So, he could protect me from them and then…and then I’d protect you.” Mikasa looked outside at the himmel blue skyline, “Dad isn’t….” Eren clutched his stomach, head aching, “Stop.” Mikasa wiped her face sitting at the table still as the world centered in on her face as he starred, “He’s not…” Eren’s head pounded, “Stop, Mikasa!” She turned in the seat, hands in her lap, face pink, her voice louder than normal but not a scream, she pleaded, “He’s a bad person, Eren. But, he does some good things. He- he….” Her voice trailed off, tears falling down her face, what good had he done that they knew for sure was really good? She wanted to, overwhelmingly so, to open the window next to her and drop out, “You’ve got to wake up, Eren. You’ve got to fucking wake up. You’ve got to remember all the things he did to you and Armin!” The world closed in on them. The time was up for pretending that the past was the past. How dare she destroy this finely crafted denial? 

Outside, their neighbors watched as the boy with emerald eyes started throwing furniture at the pretty Asian girl with the full pink tulle skirt. They watched him turn red, turn purple, scream on the floor where he fell as he clutched his head. The white tea cups were shattered, the coffee ran, pooling around him as if he was bleeding black. This was a murder, in cold black ink, a murder of childish innocence. Now they had to face it, force a resolution or give in to the pain. The lady with white hair across the street closed her eyes, remembering similar scenes from long ago, as these apartments had been the stage for gross suffering, covering her arm where beneath the fabric of her shirt, black inked numbers marked her skin. What a tragic world we live in.

***************

Inside the bank Levi and David found the lock box. It was huge, one of a series he had never known existed and it would take too long to figure it all out. They contained furniture, paintings, clothes, books, and more. They took out the journals and the photo albums, Levi’s knees becoming weak as he went through them shortly at the table. When they left both were silent, “I was….but how could that be?” David shook his head, “I was a partisan, apparently.” “How could I?” “What?” “Betray my people by being a Wehrmacht officer, David, I made it to at least 43 by those photos. Eren…what was he? He’s in those private photos with me and then…and then he….” “Don’t do that, Levi. Don’t you dare do that to yourself. You know that our people, we, did what they had to do to survive. You must have been in hiding, where maybe Eren was hiding you.” “Why can’t we remember? Why does Eren get sick when he tries to? How can we remember like you two have?” “I think it’s going to take something life shattering, maybe? Like when we were in the waters with….with those…” Levi took his hand, “No, then that would have happened when he almost died….David I’ve known…I’ve known in my soul for so long that Eren was meant for me.” David thought about it, “I don’t know then. I’m sorry.”

*******************

When they got to the house they heard yelling as they got off the old elevator. _“Fuck you! No!” “Stop! Just listen to me! He did it for a reason but it doesn’t make it right!” “HE WOULD NEVER DO THOSE THINGS! WHY ARE SAYING THAT!?” “BECAUSE EREN! EREN IT’S ABOUT THE TRUTH!” “FUCK THE TRUTH! THAT ISN’T THE GODDAMN TRUTH! YOU’RE JUST STIRING SHIT UP NOW.”_ Sobs, nasty sobs, more throwing of furniture, _“You’re just fucking jealous, Mikasa. You’re that I have a family and I can’t even begin to tell you how fucked up that is and how tired I am everything coming back to that over and over again. You’re obsessed. What happened was wrong but this family obsession is sick. This is some sort of petty bullshit that you’re doing and I won’t take it. I fucking wont take your shit, Mikasa. How could you even bring those things up? How dare you!” “I’m not fucking petty, I know I’m not! But you’re being your typical selfish brat right now. We’re adults, Eren. We know that our parents aren’t these untouchable godly people anymore. They’re human, they’re just like us and they make mistakes.” “Noooo, nooo God, no. Shut up. Just shut up. I don’t want this. I do not want this.” “They’ve done things, Eren. We’ve done horrible things but,” “NO, WE DID WHAT WE HAD TO! WHAT WE DID WAS JUSTICE, MIKASA!” “THAT’S WHAT DAD THINKS HE’S DONE, THAT HE IS DOING! CAN YOU NOT SEE HOW YOU’RE BASICALLY SAME FUCKING PERSON! DAMN, EREN!” “I AM NOT MY FATHER!” “WELL YOU SURE ARE ACTING LIKE HIM!” “BITCH!” “YEAH I’M A BITCH ALL RIGHT. AND YOURE THROWING A GODDAMN TANTRUM LIKE HIM. YOU GUNNA HIT ME OUT OF THE BLUE YET? BECAUSE THAT’S HOW IT NORMALLY GOES WITH HIM.” “SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!” “No,”_

More moving of furniture, _“because I don’t want you to ever become Grisha Jaeger so I won’t shut up. I won’t be silent while you spiral out of control. I never was and I never will be. You can hate me, Eren. You can throw me out, never talk to me again. But, I’ll always be here for you and that’s one thing Grisha got right. He put me in charge of you and I’m going to fucking be in charge of you. Do you want to repeat the cycle we grew up in? Yeah it wasn’t all that fucking bad, we’re pretty blessed but come the fuck on. Living with a mother who would rather keep things under control and quiet while living in a state of anxiety that one day dad might come home and lose his shit because you’ve done something typical of a normal kid that’s,” “SHUT THE FUCK UP! He works hard! It’s stressful when he comes home after a long night, fuck, Mikasa it’s hard doing what he does and I deserved,” “Don’t make an excuse for him. He always took it out on you and mom. Is that how the fuck you want to be with Levi?” “I WOULD NEVER HURT LEVI! I WOULD NEVER HURT HIM! HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT? I AM NOT HIM! I wouldn’t do that.” “Well, your actions speak another truth.”_ Eren threw something else as Levi and David decided to not let this go any further. 

Eren was a wreck, the house was a wreck, and Mikasa’s face was as emotional as when they were in the waters and both David and Levi felt pained and shocked by the situation. Levi approached Eren attempting to take him by the shoulder but he shrugged him off, “No,” his voice was deadly and cold, “don’t touch me.” It was firm, this statement. Levi was really wounded by that, “Eren, please. Calm,” Eren’s face flared with raged, his voice boomed, “NO! DON’T FUCKING TELL ME TO CALM DOWN. DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME. DON’T FUCKING SPEAK TO ME.” Eren went around him towards the door. David considered keeping him there but he knew that letting him leave was best to disarm the situation, “EREN!” Levi cried out. Eren had never left him, never yelled at him, never refused him. It wounded him, deeply. Levi was spinning out of control. Clearly this was the root of his anger, of his problems and now that Levi could relate to them he was angry as well. Mikasa kept her head down squatting to start picking up the broken porcelain, “I am sorry that things are broken and messy. I will clean it up.” David squatted down to help her but she waved him away, voice small and broken, “By myself, please. I don’t want to…” She stilled crying while she covered her mouth, “I don’t want to talk about it and you’ve just heard it all.”

Levi and David were in the middle of a family matter that was much more convoluted than they ever thought. “He used to hit Eren and Carla?” Mikasa stood up, “I don’t want…” Levi’s eyes were hard, “I don’t really fucking care. I hate him, Mikasa. I hate Grisha Jaeger and now even more so. He…he did horrible,” “Things to Eren and Armin. Yes, I know. I wasn’t aware until I got much, much older. Carla always said I needed to take care of him. I needed to protect him. I know she doesn’t blame him for it. I do. I know she doesn’t know that he was doing things to Eren and Armin. He was good at covering up and I had no idea and I used to share a bed with Eren from age eight till ten. Even with Armin too. I was always made to protect him and I felt the urge to do it.” 

“Grisha did hit them. It’s not like it was a weekly thing, monthly, but sporadic violent outbursts of physical violence when he’d come home worked up from work. It was a slap to Carla but it was more for Eren who sometimes fought him back and that made it worse. Often I think it led to more frustration. He would yell more often, lose his temper. He was always putting this pressure on Eren and I but for different reasons. I was to help him, he was to let me help him. He was supposed to take over his work. He was supposed to take over the hospital and one day he was supposed to learn about and join him in his research. He’s supposed to save the world whatever the fuck that means.” She sighed out the last sentence fading into silence. “He’s repressed so much.” “He made him repress. He’s altered Armin and Eren’s memory.” She looked up, “No, not Armin. Well, not…” 

Mikasa looked strange, she rolled her tongue around in her mouth, “I don’t know why I said that or why I know that. But, his memories….they’re not altered like Eren’s. Something is different about him.” She furrowed her brow, “I need to lie down.” Mikasa closed her eyes feinting as David caught her. He looked back at Levi who moved forward to check her, “She’s only feinted. Don’t worry. Put her in the bed.” “Today, achki….today is…” “Fuckin’ shit.”


	72. Ziv Irven, Irven Ziv

Armin leaned over pot of stew he was currently stirring like an old housewife. Erwin and Zad were currently not speaking and hadn’t since they got there an hour ago. Zad put a spoon in his hand and that was that. Armin suspected that if he was anything like his son this was a test to see how he would re-act. Erwin was still seething with anger and Zad seemed very amused and intrigued by his silent hate. 

After a few more minutes Zad decided to poke the bear, “Well,” he spoke and Armin turned around to look at him, “how about we cut to the chase and cut the bullshit. I’ll offer an apology for holding a knife to his throat. You’ll then say sorry for overreacting. Then we’ll make small talk. Oh you’re my son, oh you’re my father, blah blah blah. Except, no, I’m not your father. Biologically, yes. But, my brother Gabriel is your father, I am your uncle and that is how I was to always be seen even if you never knew me. I used to come visit you, check on you. Marilyn wanted that and yes, a small part of me was curious. I loved you, but as a nephew. I never kept you in some sort of emotional limbo because to do that or to tell you or try to take you would be to hurt my brother and I have always had a deep affection for him.” Erwin soaked it all up like a sponge to water, “And how was it with my mother?”

Zad shrugged, “It worked, with us. Because she was my confidant, my….best friend but also my mental competitor. Was I in love with her? I said no back in the day and it’s still no. I loved her, loved her like the second half of my soul but I’ve never wanted to be with anyone. I never wanted to be with her like that or take her from my brother. She loved him with such surety that it left no doubt in my mind we were to never be together like that. Marilyn kept things light but lethal and I respected that. I respected her too much than to try and make advancements or undermine her surety.” 

Erwin was intrigued, “It seems….you thought you definitely had a shot to do that but why? Why not try to be with her?” “Because it isn’t fair. To give someone hope like that. I live a hard life. I lived a hard one back in the day. I was a general in the red army, not in 40s or 60s when it was super popular but the 80s were my hay day. I had everything going for me and I was also a marked man. I live out here like Cain, you know? I was young, so young and I had them all eating out of the palm of my hand. Gabe, he told me you were in the marines. That you became the commander of your own squad. I was proud but you know…you’re father was a pacifist. Then he told me you went MIA and it made me sick. Thank God Marilyn wasn’t alive for that.” “Why?” “Because she would have tore up the entire damn middle east to get you back. That woman would have moved heaven and earth for you.” Erwin smiled softly, “I’d hope she would.” Zad’s heart ached for his nephew, his actual son.

Erwin seemed to mull it over, "Why were you never talked about? You seem to care about my parents. Why would they literally cut you out of the Smith family like you were nothing?" Zad shrugged, "Because I was always the black sheep. I got into things I shouldn't have. It had nothing to do with your dad. He eventually fought against the family to forge a relationship with me. We were schooled separately, lived separately. It was crazy but…I respect that Marilyn got him to reach out. I was always on the other side of the fence with the Smith clan." "Like in regards to what topics?" "Human rights, politics, religion, etc... I wasn't tame and I wasn't PC for them. I wanted to become something and fight for a cause I believed in." "That cause was communism?" "Ha! I expected more from you. You think I'd buy into a system that can't really sustain itself? You think I like the stripping of the individual for the collective? I live in the god damn woods. I am more independent than anyone. I came here for protection, Erwin. And to fight for people of a similar mind. Have you read her journal?" Erwin drank some water from his bottle, metal clinking as it slid back down on the slick thermal of his shirt, "No, I wasn't ready." Zad seemed to take a moment before he became hard again, "Well, that was dumb. Always come prepared. Don't be weak Ziv, it doesn't suit you. We'll talk more after you read. I don't have time to be a teacher." He moved to come over to the stew where Armin sat nearby.

Erwin looked up, “Did you pick Ziv?” Zad turned around, “Marilyn did. But, it was a tribute to me and something I did for her. Erith is obviously where part of your name came from but the other half Irven was a German boy who your mother really cared for and grew up with. He’s a politician now for the FDP.” Erwin was intrigued, “What did you do for her?” He stood still contemplating, “You really want to know?” “Yes.” “I killed someone for her.” “Oh.” “You got a problem with that.” “Nope.” “Really?” “You have no idea how many people I have killed. You have no idea what I’ve done for him.” He looked over at Armin who blushed slightly. Zadkiel was very intrigued but he decided to turn the conversation to better waters and thus, faced Armin, "You really engaged to him?" Armin hummed, "Yep." Zad scrutinized him more, a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth when he really took him in, long blond hair, beautiful blue eyes, pretty mouth, and dangerous glint behind those eyes when he was thinking. Then he realized something else entirely that made him even more amused. "Should have known. You look similar to Marilyn and your Jewish, too." Armin jerked, "What?!" "Don't worry," Zad took the ladle, "it's only a little bit of a favor between you and Marilyn. Plus, I don’t dislike Jews at. I respect them and their accomplishments. But, when it comes to falling in love with one, it would seem like father like son. I guess nurture wins this one over nature because I was smart enough to not get tangled in her cursed chosen web." Zad turned to return to his [seat](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/fe/a9/b9/fea9b96b303392683387baaea159159e.jpg) chuckling a bit, "Help yourself, you two. It’s going to be a long night before you head back." Erwin perked up, “What?” “You’ll leave in the morning.” “No, we were going to stay.” “I don’t need anyone around here and I’ve got repairs to do before Fall and Winter.” Erwin simply starred in annoyance.

"I am not Jewish.” Armin stated after a while, very annoyed for some reason, a reason he couldn’t fathom, the [shrine](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/fe/a9/b9/fea9b96b303392683387baaea159159e.jpg) in the corner to patron saints provoking him, “I am as protestant as they come. My parents are super Jesus freaks. One is a missionary and the other a journal’s list for a creationism magazine. They're hardcore German Lutheran." Zad ate slowly, "Okay, I think I understand now. What if I told you, you were ethnically Jewish?" Armin narrowed his eyes and pouted. Zad chuckled loudly, “Wow, such a cutiepatootie.” Armin wasn't enjoying it, "Stop laughing!" "Why should I? It’s just so clear to me how you must run shit at home. You're never wrong, you don't like ideas you didn't consider because you consider them _all_ , and your annoyed you might have missed something. You should work on your Ambiguity Tolerance, _dear."_ Armin seethed but he wasn't sure why. It wasn't that big of a deal. Erwin was silently shaking from trying to contain his laughter in his chair. Armin turned on him, “What’s so funny Mr. Smith?” Erwin held the journal up to cover his face, “Nothing, _dear._ ” Armin’s eyes were like blue flames, “You need me to run shit or we’d never get anything done. Need I remind you how we even got here?” Erwin put the journal down pouting, “I’m so sorry my precious but he just….he really spoke the truth. You run everything. I am absolutely powerless when it comes down to it. I don’t mind. I like it.” He lifted journal back up smirking as Armin threw his spoon at him. 

Zadkiel enjoyed catching a glimpse into their relationship but he needed to continue schooling them in a complicated web of half truths and whole lies. "What's your name?" Armin tilted his head to the side, "Armin." Zad shook his head, "Full name." "Armin Axel Smith." Erwin smiled as Zadkiel gave them both a perplexed look, "You're already married?" Armin opened his mouth and closed it a few times before offering up, "No....I died." Zad was now more than perplexed and noting the discomfort form Erwin, he decided to let sleeping dogs rest, "Before Smith?" "Arlert." Zad snapped his fingers, "Ah ha! There it is. I'm too good at this I swear. Its barely fun anymore."

Zad set his stew down, "Arlert is an old name meaning eagle.....roughly." He kind of circled is hands around themselves. "It's Germanic and English and originates in the dark ages. Arlert has a lot of different spellings. Anyway, when you were growing up did you have to go to a special religious school?" Armin nodded, "Yes." "Did the other kids have interesting names?" Armin hadn’t thought of then in forever, "Um I don’t know how you would determine interesting. There was Michael Mauer. There was a girl names Natalie Nikola Nero, we called her Nina. Um a Felix Fischer but that's kind of the only trend." Zad nodded, "And you. Armin Axel Arlert. Funny how you all have the same first letter of each name. Bet that's a tradition in your family you've been made to swear you'll carry on?" Armin was uncomfortable and feeling ill again, "That makes me a Jew?" "No and yes, it makes you something much more. You're a part of the Reiss family. A very, very close relative, in fact. You see Reiss is what the world should be focused on, not the Wall. I know you've probably heard of them. They're just a creation of the Reiss family and they will remove them when the time comes but until then they're just waiting in the shadows for the opportunity to carry out their plans." "Which are?" "To put the world in walls again."

Erwin moved in his seat, "I don't follow." "Simply, the Reiss family believe themselves to be a chosen people. They are ethnically Jewish but they reject Judaism and have embraced Lutheran ideology as a sort of cover. They aren’t God fearing for they see their leader as being God. They were a secret society who used the Catholic church as a base but were later betrayed by Martin Luther himself and so, in order to keep an eye on him and the spread of his sect of Christianity, which they found to be a _very_ promising religion to get behind like they had Catholicism, they decided to go with it full force while taking out other lines or tribes of Jews and controlling the masses with a series of well developed propaganda campaigns and masterful subterfuge of those governments that threatened them, namely, the worst and most recent being the USSR.” 

“As you know, communists are atheist by definition and when those in the Bolshevik revolution fully secured their power they started targeting Reiss members and thus, made it extremely difficult for them to function here. They then turned their eyes on the Nazis for non-religious action and then the Middle East where radicalism embraces religious ideology fully and a host of soldiers can be created at their will. They may not be Muslim to the outside world but they can recruit them and they even have the same enemy in common: Jews. They have hidden their Jewishness so well know one really knows about it in the Middle East and they themselves aren't really involved but their umbrella corporation, the Wall. Is. It is run by…well…a man we all knew."

Armin and Erwin looked form one another and back to Zadkiel. They decided not to play their hand about the Wall. Obviously, Zadkiel was cut off from the world out here and they didn’t know if they wanted to revisit it all. Erwin sighed a deep body aching sigh, “God, it all is making sense now. Baby?” Armin turned to him, “Hm?” “It’s a fact the school you went to was Reiss controlled and that you were in touch with them.” “How do you know?” “The letter.” “The one you wouldn’t let me read…..be honest with me Erwin, I need to know what it said.” “It’s bad.” “I can handle it.” “Dr. Jaeger performed experiments on your and Eren since you were just some months old. He has altered your memories so you can’t remember them or you don’t remember details like you should.” Erwin finished, inside he was burning with hate for Grisha Jaeger and his sorrow for Armin consumed him, “I know you always saw them as your family, as a father and mother, but these are the facts, baby I would never,” “I know you wouldn’t lie to me.” Armin said numbly looking at the fire in the fireplace. “Armin do you,” “’don’t wanna talk ‘bout it.” Erwin shut his mouth looking at Armin, concerned for his reaction. Armin looked pitiful, he seemed to be very affected as his skin paled and he touched his neck, clutching it. “Why are the letters in the names important?” He was addressing Zadkiel again.

“Names carry with them power, significance. Memories can be,” he took his time looking around the room, “altered, forgotten, corrupted, but names seem to help restore and revive.” Armin pinned him down with a glare, “That’s not what the fuck I asked.” Zadkiel was cool and collected on the outside but his heart skipped a beat, _feisty._ “Very simple. Reiss is the family name but those with other letters fall in a hierarchy. If you are a Reiss you’re top dog, number one and therefore the inner circle. If you’re a letter name it follows the progression of the Alphabet. A being the highest and Z the lowest. Arlerts are the closest cousins to the Reiss’ and they’ll eventually be brought into the inner circle through marriage and politics. Arlert, ever meet another one?” “No, but wait….my father was an Arlert and my mother is Arlert. They met in Africa and bonded over the shared last name among other things but they assured me and everyone else they were not related.” “Well, they lied. Perhaps not first or second cousins but third or fourths is more likely. Arlerts marry other Arlerts or A names. Mauers marry Mauers and or other Ms. It’s the system, sick, but it keeps their numbers controlled and ethnicity strong. You were probably taught that sex was bad and having children was something you only did if necessary. That’s what they want you to think so you don’t procreate and spread the blood too thin. You were probably born due to a program initiative. It happens every generation or so. They’ll tell others in the hierarchy to have a child or many children. It’s the same base premise as the Lebensborn program in Germany. See, that Dr. Jaeger is more involved in this than you think.” 

Erwin jerked in his chair, upset at all that was going on, “He doesn’t want to talk about it.” Armin turned more towards Zad, “How?” His voice dark and demanding. “He proposed a theory that would have ruined them. It was that there are certain ethnicities and or “blood lines” if you’d like to call it that, though that is problematic and too close to eugenics for my tastes, that the Reiss family cannot control or alter their memories. Jews, which they come from, are the main one that they are afraid of because they cannot change their memories at all. Why do you think _Nie Wieder_ is so popular? Never forget is something they’ve been doing forever. Asians are the next though almost exclusively mostly Japanese, Taiwanese, and Mongolians. A few Chinese here and there but they’ve got the others lingering in the blood line somewhere. It’s a toss-up between which communities of Africans and Latinos are affected. Ethiopians are similar to the Jews and Japanese. We think it has to do with population sizes and that means that the more endangered a certain race is the more likely they will develop the ability to ward off or see through the Reiss family and their control. Caucasians and other large races are seen as common blood and therefore always affected. This includes French, Italians, and Slavs. It’s complicated. He wrote on and on for pages and he was right but damn it’s a lot to repeat. ”

”This is the biggest crock of shit. Are you serious? We are all being controlled by one family and their mind games? I can’t even begin to express how much I think this is shit.” Armin seethed with anger, where was it coming from? “It doesn’t matter if you think it’s shit, Mr. Arlert. They’ve succeeded in the past. In the dark ages, they constructed walls that contained almost all of the world population and for 400 years we have no history at all. Well, the populations they could get to. Indigenous populations in the Americas were left alone and a few that lived on islands. All of Europe, Asia, and parts of Africa were nearly wiped out during this period due to them and whatever their methods were Methods we really are unsure about. This memory altercation is the only reason we thrive today unknowingly the way we do but there are still accounts of that time kept written in some groups, though they’ve been systematically hunting them down. Surprised a sniper hasn’t tried to take me on yet. Not that he’d win.” Zadkiel smirked smugly. He was a beast of a man but Armin was too aggravated to relax and appreciate it.

“So, how can I unlock these memories?” “A ritual.” “What is it?” “Do I look like a Reiss?” I’d have told you if I knew.” Armin was now very angry and very uncomfortable, “Thank you for the information.” “You’re cute when you’re angry.” “That is quiet enough.” Erwin cut over as Zad smiled wickedly, “Oh, it’s just a tease. He looks like he wants to kill me. I needed to lighten the mood.” Armin looked around, “Where will we sleep tonight?” Zadkiel got up, “I’ll make the beds.” 

Later he showed them their [humble](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/63/63/08/63630874ba3259e23260a3cf1011e39d.jpg) room. It wasn’t a lot and Zad didn’t need a lot. Armin and Erwin climbed in bed with Zad’s reminder to kindly leave tomorrow making them roll their eyes. This wasn’t what Erwin had expected nor Armin and they were feeling a bit apprehensive about not only what they learned but about his over-all lack of emotion about Erwin. It was odd. He was odd. This was odd.

There wasn’t a door to the room so whatever they said Zadkiel would hear. Erwin had been coughing and after a fit of it Armin snuggled closer to him, voice babyish and sweet, “We need to keep you warm or you’ll get sick-sick.” He chuckled, “I won’t get sick-sick. It’s just all that cold air we breathed in today nearly jogging.” Armin smiled, “Okay, whatever, Big Daddy.” Erwin stilled, “You know I want you, have always wanted you, right?” Armin gave him a confused look, “What?” “I’ve always wanted you. You’re special and I have always wanted you and will want you.” Armin suddenly understood, “Thank you, Erwin. I needed that more than you know.” “I love you, Armin. You’re beautiful, intelligent, loving, kind, strong, courageous, and I could go on and on but I just want you to know that I love you. I love you so much. I will never treat you like an experiment, an afterthought, a place holder, or anything else you may have ever felt like because I am absolutely lost without you. I am nothing but a hollow shell of a person. You light my world up in fantastic color and bring words alive with the sound of your voice that find their way into my soul where they will live forever. If the day comes that I must die, I need it to be before you, my love, for I could not live a second without you. I’ve done it. Lived like a ghost and I couldn’t do it again.” Armin covered his lips with his, “Stop…Stop. I don’t want to talk about that right now. I love you, too. I love you more than I could ever express and if I try to now I’ll just start sobbing because you’ve got me all messed up.” They both chuckled against one another as they kissed softly and sweetly. “Good night, baby.” “Laila tov, daddy.” Armin smiled around the words as Erwin snorted softly before rolling over to cough more.

****************

They were all set to leave the next morning but that was now impossible. Erwin was bed ridden and feverish. He’d kept coughing all night, that morning he’d gotten sick. He was ill and Armin was left now to decide what they would do about it. Zad appeared with a water pail. “There isn’t running water in the house yet. I was going to start that this Summer but…well this will have to do.” Armin was angry again. He took the water and started wiping off Erwin’s face. He was angry because now he remembered why. _”Erwin Smith, you cannot die in some cabin alone like a common soldier.” “But, Armin, the boats are gone now. You’ll die too.” “Then I’ll die with the man I love.” Erwin smiled sadly, “I’m so glad it’s you here, with me, at the end of the world.”_


	73. Cabin Fever

Two weeks, two solid weeks of no progress except for one day when Erwin looked like he was turning it all around. Armin was at a loss. The serum should be healing him so obviously this was something his immune system was really being weak against. He started to suspect it was a blood infection. He was so sick moving him was out of the question. He maintained a consistent fever pattern and he was delirious most of the time which was good for Armin because he and Zadkiel had officially begun some sort of war where the rules were unknown and it was kill of be killed. Currently, as Armin walked up from the creek with more water, Zadkiel was shirtless sitting on a log outside of the [cabin](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/c4/b1/a3/c4b1a382b8cf1c2b2d32e36b956921f4.jpg), making Armin even more chilled in the cold weather, “Are you relaxing?” Zad looked up, “Thought I’d get my money’s worth.” Armin’s mouth was fighting a sneer, “This isn’t a spa.” Zad raised his eyebrows, “To you maybe.” His voice playful, “To me, this is surely improving my complexion.” Armin wanted to slap him. He also thought he was extremely good looking and was excited for Erwin’s future possibly genetically aged self. But that was beside the point. Zadkiel had made things extremely difficult.

He was not only frustrating but had been exceedingly cruel in Armin’s opinon about the situation. When Eriwn seemed to be getting better, Zad was more concerned with fixing the cabin and getting them out. Why he didn’t want to take the time to get to know Erwin or at least the man he was marrying was beyond him. He kept him at arm’s length but let no chance pass to push his buttons and aggravate him. When he started grabbing tools, he’d scoffed at Armin who went to join him. It felt like no matter how many people you killed in cold blood people would still not take you serious if you were lean, blond, and polite. He’d wished he’d never gotten involved in Zad’s to-do list but it was obvious that the man needed a partner for most of the fixes. How had he managed some of these things himself?

They were fixing the roof, putting in plumbing, and overhauling the fire place for a bigger and better iron cooktop. Armin felt like he’d entered a Russian HGTV channel contest if Putin ran it in hell. Oh, wait, he was already in Russia’s version of hell. Maybe Ellen would appear and tell him he’d won based on his elbow pipe design that would ward off frost? Not likely. Armin crawled under the house checking their progress when Zadkiel joined him, their elbows brushing while they were on their back looking up at the pipes. “You’re not as weak as I thought.” _There-it-fucking-is-oh-my-gaaaaawd-why-are-you-so-damn-shitty?_ He grunted adding adhesive to the joint of one of the last elbows. If they did this right then tonight or tomorrow morning they could have water and that meant no more trips down that fucking hill for Armin and hopefully a refreshing shower for Erwin and not the sponge ones he’d been getting. Zad had avoided Erwin like the plague even when asked for help and it was all up to him to take care of him. Not that Armin didn’t want to take care of him, but every time he did he remembered things and those things made him remember more things and he-. The scar on his neck burned. Armin was in a bad mood again. He turned to Zadkiel whose hair was loose again, it annoyed him, “You should cut your hair.” Zadkiel shifted, “Why?” Armin deadpanned, “Because it looks like shit.” 

Zadkiel laughed, full body chuckled, “Really? You expect me to believe that?” Armin rolled his eyes, voice monotone and droll like Levi, “Why would I lie? I have nothing to gain.” Zad snorted, his voice smug, “You’d fuck me.” Armin whipped his head to the side, voice biting and sarcastic, “Ha! Maybe a quick fuck but only if I’d never heard you _speak._ ” Zadkiel looked over smirking, deeply satisfied with getting such a reaction from him, “I could be your daddy, boy.” Armin’s tone was venomous, that was some Abulafia bullshit and he wasn’t playing around, he had only one of those, “I already have a daddy, _sir_.” Zad smiled from ear to ear, “You’ve got a temper, is more like it.” Armin sat up in the crawlspace, bent over and looking him straight in the face, “Fuck you.” Zadkiel held his hands up and shrugged form his space on the ground, he said the words slowly, “You have no idea how many want to.” Armin was fuming, “You disgust me!” “Oooohhhh, you _wound_ me.” Zadkiel demurred as Armin threw his tools to the side, scooting out from under the house, red from rage and frustration.

He stood looking at the snowy forest with glimpses of green pine. The forest much more resilient that he. He heard Zadkiel cheer in joy. After a few minutes he emerged, “Okay, so we’ll have water when it dries. I think we could do it today but I’d wait till tomorrow to be safe.” Armin’s back was tight, “Why don’t you take up time with him?” He turned around looking at Zad, “He’s a part of you. He doesn’t want to replace his dad. He never wanted that. But, they’re dead. He’s only ever known his mother through the shadows of her music and pictures. His father was loving but tortured. Marilyn said as much in her diary. He let me read it first. He wanted to savor it as much as he could. Having her thoughts like that, private thoughts, you only get to experience them once like that, fresh and raw. So, why don’t you want to know him? You visited him, so you must have wanted to know him.” Zadkiel picked his ax up and split a log and then another. Armin waited till he had a small pile, “Because I’m not meant to be a father or anything really. I came because I cared about what happened to my brother’s son, because Marilyn sent a letter before she died and asked me to come. She was scared that if I didn’t…” 

Armin understood, he’d rip the band aid off now, “That Abulafia would hurt him. He assumed Erwin was his son with Marilyn the entire time. She slept with him after she came here and got pregnant by you. You checked in on them, because you wanted to know for sure he was okay. But, now you let him lay in a bed and nearly die. We needed medicine. I…” “I’m going down to the medical cache post today, the one I told you about, so stop crying.” His voice was hard and Armin was taken aback, his voice low and weak, “I’m not crying.” Zadkiel turned more towards him, eyes hard, “Yes, you are. You’re always crying when it comes to him. Inside or outside, doesn’t matter you fucking cry all the time. Don’t be so weak.” Armin lurched forward, red in the face, “I HATE YOU!” The scream echoed, the birds cawed, the forest lurched with him. He wanted to say, _“You have no idea how many times I’ve seen him die.”_ “Good. I don’t want you to feel any other way.” 

He gathered the wood to walk inside. He stopped short of the door, “Does Abulafia know you’re here?” All the air escaped Armin, _he has no idea. He’s in these woods and has no idea what’s going on. He said he was Cain. “I don’t want you to feel any other way.” “I’m not meant to be a father or anything really.” He’s got a target on his back. Erwin in a past life once gave up everything, a family, wife, etc… for the cause, he’s just….oh….oh….but I remind him of….her. Oh…oh._ He moved again, “Did he send you?” Armin snapped out of his thoughts, “He’s dead.” He hissed involuntarily. Now he had real tears, hot and heavy, flowing down his face. 

Zadkiel dropped the wood walking over to him, “What?” His voice hard and unbelieving, “What did you say?” Armin didn’t back down, “He’s dead.” Zad’s mouth nearly fell open, “I don’t believe you.” Armin felt himself fill with familiar malevolent anger. “Oh?” He challenged, the Two Wolves were back in full force, “Okay, well then fuck you. I don’t have time for worthless things. I’ll go to the post myself. He’s got fucking typhus or something in his blood. I can’t wait longer. You can stay here and let the weak fend for himself.”

Armin went inside grabbing his pack and coat, his phone had long been dead and Erwin’s was on their solar charger. He missed Levi so much it hurt and wanted to ask him what he’d do. He missed Eren, who would have taken on Zad himself after that incident. Armin emerged outside to the sight of Zad with the wood again. Armin made sure to get his attention, eyes narrowed, hair pulled back and black scarf stark against his fair lily complexion, “You take care of him. If he dies,” Armin’s hand raised, silencing Zad’s protests that he should stay because he was unfamiliar with the way to the remote medical post cache two hours away, “I’ll kill you.” There was a tense moment where Zadkiel realized that that didn’t sound like an empty threat. For the first time, he thought he may have been mistaken about this Armin Arlert. He didn’t seem as soft as he appeared nor sounded in the darkness of the night with Erwin. Armin gave him a piercing glare and turned down the slightly marked path into the forest.

*************

It was dark and Erwin opened his eyes, coming out of the haze for a few blissful moments of tired clarity, “Baby?” His voice dry, croaky, “where are you? Armin? Armin, no, please-,” “He’s out getting medicine. He’ll be right back.” Zadkiel sat next to Erwin’s bed leaning over to get him water. Erwin drank it gratefully, “I…I don’t do well when he’s gone.” Zad nodded, “I can tell.” Erwin looked around, “How sick am I?” “Bad. You might die.” “Oh….wow that’s unexpected.” “Yeah, death sometimes sneaks up on us.” But for Erwin, he’d always thought that the serum would have warded off anything like this. He rolled over looking at him, “I’d like to know you better.” That hurt him, hurt him in his heart and soul, bruised his marrow in his bones how Erwin sounded saying that. Zadkiel couldn’t look at him. He couldn’t look at the boy he’d immediately been drawn to as he showed up after she died. He was golden, dressed in white lace and frills, bonnet over his head, had been denied the Bris his mother called for on his eighth day of life. Gabe had fought him tooth and nail but they agreed, Abulafia would not suffer a suspected son to be circumcised and to act as if he was not his child placed him in more danger. Zadkiel had held him and cared for him so that Gabe could sleep, pill bottles littered the counter of the master bathroom with Marilyn’s negligee laying out on the small couch at the foot of the bed, never to be worn again. Marilyn’s paints were sealed in their glass containers, though they still sat at the edge of the baseboard in his guest room he moved them to the corner. Erwin stirred in his arms tugging at the heartstrings of his cold iron heart, his small golden hand grasped his finger with a strength that amazed him. He was a part of him. A part of her and a gift to his brother who had always wanted this, a family to love. He would never allow himself to lay claim to his brother’s rightful son. He would never try to eclipse the love his brother had for Erwin and the way he believed he was rightfully his. That’s why he stayed distant, for Gabe and his memory. “Is Abulafia….” He began but how would he finish? Erwin sighed, “He’s dead. Armin…..and Levi, my Levi,….they shot him. Simultaneously, standing in the Gaza under a black sky.” 

Zadkiel couldn’t believe it, a rush of air left him, “What?! T-t-tell me what happened! I thought the little cutie was lying that he was dead!” Erwin smirked though it pained him, “Did you say you thought the little cutie was lying by chance?” “Yes.” Erwin whistled like the sound of atom bomb and made little noises that imitated bombs, “Then you’re lucky you’re even alive right now. That little cutie is more lethal than anyone alive today. He….I’m getting tired but you need to know this: Through a series of events I became aware, and so did Armin and our friends, family, what was going on with the Wall and Abulafia. Armin knew Abulafia was going to try and kidnap me while we were abroad last year to bring me in to the Wall as the future leader. Armin willingly gave himself over to them, then he rose the ranks, became second in command, they called him the Two Wolves, and the future leader if something happened before I was brought in. Then he staged an operation combining Shin Bet and Mossad to take it all down in the heart of the Wall, Gaza. He lead a cell himself and killed them all by gunning them down. Then he turned on Abulafia. Shot him through the eye and then came home after six months of us thinking and believing he was dead. He had faked his own death….we believe it…we had funerals….he faked his own death so well that other intelligence agencies in other countries were sure it was him in the photos. Turns out he had the tourist abducted and killed personally. He chose his own corpse look alike. He fooled over a hundred specialists and us, his family, his friends, his confidants.”

“He re-entered life after becoming another person, being shot three times suffering wounds that should have killed him, admitted somewhat recently to being raped by Abulafia and abused mentally. He has spent months in recovery from the emotional damage it has done. He’s a Smith now because he legally is dead in America and this was a loop hole Israel found to bringing him back to like, so to speak. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve him, he understands me now better than anyone outside of Levi ever could. He accepts me and my past. I accept him. But, he’s not good at controlling that alter ego, the Two Wolves, when he’s really angry. That’s why I’m really surprised you don’t already know this or…” “Or what?” “That you didn’t have your beard sheared off with a blunt blade as an answer to your disbelief.” Erwin ended with a thud of truth that made Zadkiel stroke his chest length beard. 

Zadkiel sat back in his chair, “Marilyn wanted me to be in your life. I didn’t.” “Why?” “Because when I first saw you I really fell in love with you and that’s strange for me because I don’t really know what love is. I’ve never wanted to be with anyone permanently. I’ve never wanted to be around people. I’m a loaner, a passing person in the lives of others. I’m not stable, wasn’t, now I’m pretty much boring.” “Why are you out here.” “I know things and here, I was the safest. If I stayed here I could live long enough to maybe make a difference.” “How?” “Marilyn said it was important that I live and bear witness. I think you two being involved with Jaeger had something to do with it. She was very, very smart, Erwin. Your mother was….you know what,” Zad started to chuckled, “I get it. I get why you like Armin so much. You’re basically dating your mother. Fun, cute, likable, smart, demure, lethal, cunning, radical, powerful, and more.” Erwin groaned, “Ughhh I already have had enough daddy issues now I have mommy issues? Pshhh keep that shit to yourself.” Zad smiled leaning back in his chair thinking of Gabe and Marilyn smiling at their baby shower. The picture was in the living room on the mantel. He missed them.

“Will you….are you open to having a relationship with me?” Erwin whispered as time went on. Zadkiel shifted, “I suppose…..it’s not that bad if I do…. I just….never wanted to hurt Gabe. You know, when we were little he’d read me stories. My favorite was _Bah Bah Black Sheep._ I was a black sheep, red hair and wild. He always asked me strange things, too.” Erwin chuckled, coughing violently and shaking, “Like, random questions to make you think?” “Yeah, ha! He’d ask things like….what is the cost of a nation? What would you be willing to sacrifice for a nation?” “He asked me that same question all my life. It’s fucked with me a lot.” They were both silent, “I think there must be something to it, then.”

Erwin continued to cough and it hurt Zadkiel every time, these two weeks he’d been burying the hurt deep inside. He liked him, had always liked him. When he was young he was adorable, smart, clever, likable, and sensitive. He’d been the jewel of his brother’s eye and he had always entertained him with his childish thoughts or the way he saw the world when he spoke with him. Erwin was a fine man now, not a little boy, and Marilyn lived in him, in his eyes, in parts of his personality. He wasn’t like Gabe, outside of his smarts. Gabe was reserved, calm, a conservative politically, fiscally, and emotionally. Erwin had pieces of that but there was an inner fire there that had existed in both parents but this was, perhaps, more like Zadkiel himself. You had to have really known Gabe like Owen Zacharias had, perhaps Owen had noticed the parts of Erwin that were more like Zad? They’d had a relationship. He liked Owen and Owen and he had kept in contact until the mid 90s when the walls fell on the USSR and he became open to Abulafia’s spies and assassins again. He wished he’d killed him that winter they conceived Erwin. He wished she’d let him shoot him before she left, when he found out she’d slept with him to strike a deal. He was a pig who deserved to be slaughtered. How right she was though, that someone else would shoot him one day.

******************

When Armin returned Erwin was worse off than before. He had fallen asleep and then his fever spiked. When they woke Erwin, they found not a gentlemen but a beast. He was delirious and crazed, he had to be held down when Armin administered the medicine. Zadkiel was stone faced and silent as they watched him the entire night hoping that he’d pull through and unsure of what would happen if he didn’t.


	74. Drink Me, Eat Me, Read Me

Eren had returned hours later, soaking wet from a freak shower that caught him as he left the Metro. It had done a lot to help him figuratively cool down from the day. His hands were bloodied, chest cut, cheek bruised from a fight he willingly engaged in. He won but it didn't matter. What he had also suffered was a relapse in anger control therapy that years of trying to do better, be better, had accomplished now had nothing to show for it and he had to start from scratch again. His thoughts had been of two people the entire time: Armin and Jean, what would they have thought? Jean would have fought him, not seriously, but enough to make him realize he needed to let it go. Armin, well, he would have found a way to defuse the situation. He missed Armin right then beyond words and his body ached for him to be near him. 

He was still sour when he entered the living room and when Levi appeared at their doorway, unreadable expression on his face, he simply walked by him into their room and bathroom where he stripped his clothes off, letting the heavy wet fabrics fall to the floor with a thud, took a quick hot shower, saw the clothes were missing meaning Levi had snuck in and got them, and then changed into boxers and one of Armin's favorite sleeper shirts he picked out of his things. It fit him better than Armin but was still loose and, better than anything, still somehow smelled like him. He came in the bed room and got into bed falling into a deep sleep.

When he woke up his hands were bandaged, chest disinfected and bandaged, and face covered in sticky and smelly Neosporin. His hand touched it, pulling away bits of the paste and coating his fingertips slightly. A glass of water and three Advil lay next to him on the night stand with small post it that said simply, “Eren.” The script reflecting the love and suggestion only Levi could convey through shapes and symbols. His hands had healed, face was still bruised but not noticeable, but the cut on his chest had been thick and now as he pulled the gauze away he noticed it was a shallow wound with a thin skin forming over it. Really it was pointless to have doctored him at all but Levi must have wanted to do something. It was symbolic more than anything. He listened and figured it was time to eat something since his hunger pains were stronger after a full day and night of nothing but a broken glass of coffee. 

Outside the world was grey, it rained and rained, freak storms by global warming and he even heard that Russia was still getting heavy snow in Siberia. It had been only a year and half since the world had started trying to reverse the effects of it but was it too late? Why did he feel like it was all a product of well placed individuals who spurred it on with fossil fuel depletions, fear tactics, and propaganda? Why did it feel familiar? Whatever happened to make Reagan change his solar plans? Why didn’t we change sooner? The signs were there. He pondered these things as he made his way in to the kitchen where he turned the stove on and started to make a large breakfast.

Levi entered behind him with a large mess bag on his shoulder, a bag of groceries if the baguette poking out was anything to judge by. He had flowers that he set to putting in a vase. Eren looked at them but said nothing. After a few more silent moments Levi leaned against the far side of the counter and his deep voice penetrated Eren’s world, “I got these for you. I don’t know what to do to make you feel better and I won’t unless you tell me, teach me how. Armin’s not here. I started thinking about it and last time you got _angry angry_ around me was Atlanta and he had stepped in before it got to be too much. You scared me then and you scared me worse last night because you left, Eren. You left me. I know you didn’t mean to be cruel and after I ran from you the other day you’ll probably think I’m being hypocritical and maybe that’s so but I don’t see it that way. I told you I couldn’t handle it and that I’d come home. I spoke to you, tried to explain. You treated me like I was the enemy last night. That I had hurt you, too. That’s not fair and it’s not true. So, please, before I lose myself because that really fucked me up last night, teach me or tell me how to make you feel better or help you. Talk to me.” 

Eren wiped his hand over his face, teeth clenched, “You….you heard it all, didn’t you?” He ground out, anger rising again, “Do you know how fucking embarrassed I am? I am mortified that she brought it up like she did. I just…keep thinking about her implying I would do that to you. Do you know how fucked up that is? Do you know how bad that makes me feel!?” Eren’s voice was louder but too much so that it would wake the others. He sounded truly hurt and upset. It made Levi close his eyes, emotionally he was just as upset for him. “I know.” Eren pulled on his hair, “He isn’t a bad man.” Levi opened his eyes looking at him. How could he do this to his husband, his brat, his Eren? “He just….it wasn’t right but it’s not like what you went through and that’s one of the things that bothers me the most. You lived in such…a bad environment. I don’t think mine was as bad and I never want to act like it was when you went through what you went through. He wasn’t this tyrant I lived in fear of my entire like. He wasn’t this person I didn’t want to be left alone with. He treated me like a son, he loves me, he’s just not like momma. He’s not as easy, as soft, as calm. He’s hard, clinical, and serious. I don’t want to ever be him, but I love him. I love him, Levi. He’s my father. What Mikasa say’s hurts me even if she’s right it hurts.”

Levi understood but he was really torn, “Do you believe her?” Eren looked around, “That he knew?” Levi nodded. “I believe almost anything Mikasa tells me. She would never lie to me. She would never….say something that wasn’t true. It’s not like her, to lie. She doesn’t see the point. It doesn’t make it any less upsetting to me. In fact, it upsets me more….there is almost no…chance that it’s not true. But, there are other things that make me wonder or not really trust her because there are things…things that….that I just refuse to believe and I think it’s all a matter of perspective…” Levi was completely torn, “About what? What is the perspective?” Eren gave him a scrupulous look, “Why are you asking it like that?” Levi wrung his hands, “Please, answer the question.” Eren’s anger flamed, defensive over his father, “No! Not till you tell me why?” Levi lost his patience, “Because, my perspective is that I hate him! I hate him so much it burns, Eren. I’ve got a perspective on this and it’s been one I developed before all this came to light. So, maybe your perspective is fucking naïve and biased!” He slammed the somewhat open drawer closed, snapping it loudly. 

Eren looked like a statue. He stood stone still as his face turned maroon. He shook but otherwise it seemed that purely his love for Levi was keeping him glued to the kitchen floor. Levi squared off blocking the doorway, “You good?” It was sarcastic and taunting, Levi was angry too. “I’m doing good,” Eren’s voice wavered, “but you better explain yourself, Levi.” Levi stared at him, “I have a copy of a letter I wrote that I want you to read.” His voice was a hiss, hot and metallic. Eren’s hands clenched and unclenched, “The one between Kafka?” Levi stood still, “What?” Eren maintained eye contact unabashedly, “There is a letter between the tomes of Kafka in your joint office. I never read it but I know it’s there.” Levi appraised Eren, “You go through my shit, brat?” He challenged him to say something else or try to deny it before walking away into their room. Eren knew better than to deny it. Levi appeared at the doorway motioning, beckoning with a finger, for him to come inside. Eren followed slowly noting that they were now in a pretty serious fight judging by the twitch above Levi’s left eye.

Levi dug through his black leather day planner where he kept notes and other important things. It stayed on his person almost all the time when they traveled and it held their life inside of it. He removed the letter draft he’d stuck in their to reference if he ever had to and boy, was he shocked this was why he had to reference it. He handed it slowly to Eren, Donner whimpered, tail flopping on the floor, eyes watchful of the two. Eren opened the folded paper looking at Levi’s hand writing that he so loved. Levi touched his shoulder, “I’ll be in the kitchen or living room, call me in here when you find another, better, perspective or if you’re ready to talk. Don’t fucking run away again. I won’t be so forgiving.” He stressed the last sentence before walking out and shutting the door. Eren knew that he meant it, that he’d see running away as childish and maybe he was right. But, isn’t it better to run than hurt? Levi leaned against the door for a few seconds a tear rolling down his cheek before he returned to the calm cool mask he normally wore. Nothing would be the same for Eren, nothing. It destroyed Levi. 

He knew Mikasa had gone out for a run when he left for the market. Heading to the kitchen didn’t suit him just then. He needed more, he needed comfort. He opened the door to the guest room looking over to a sleepy but trying to wake up David. He walked over cautiously until David made the first acknowledgement, “Ach,” David mumbled into the pillow. Levi crawled in beside him slowly, feeling like a small child in the Sukkot tent all again, “Can I stay here for a little bit?” David hummed, he smiled lopsided and beautiful, “Of course. Hab dich lieb, Levi.” (I love you) David rolled towards him, groaning a bit and stretching. He stated simply in his deep chestnut voice, “Eren’s upset.” Levi blinked not saying anything. “Eren’s really upset.” Levi blinked again. “Achki, it’ll be rough for a bit but then, I promise, it’ll be smooth.” He said the words slowly, lazy, but they comforted Levi in their casualness. “When you and Armin have sessions….does he improve?” David sighed a little, “Yes, he’s very cooperative and very open to reflection and my remarks. Why?” Levi shrugged, “Does he talk about us?” “Us?” “Erwin, Eren, and I?” “Of course.” “I ask Erwin often and I keep up with him. He’s my partner. But, I wonder about Armin because I don’t ask him often…or enough maybe, I don’t know.” David shifted, smiling brighter and still lazy and lopsided, “Hmmm you love him a lot.” He murmured and with a slight laugh behind the words, Levi blinked again, he decided to play his hand, “You’ve noticed?” David nodded, “It’s nice, because you’re normally so afraid to invest in people or let them in. It’s nice that you’re growing a bit and I think Armin needs you.” Levi looked at him scrupulously, “Needs me?” David closed his eyes, humming, “Yes, I really do. He needs someone like him who can relate to him. Erwin does a good job, especially now after he’s been so open. It’ll be fine for you all. Fur us all.” “Such an optimist.” “I have to be. You’re so damn pessimistic.” Levi chuckled, “I need to go to the kitchen and wait for Eren.” David seemed to think about it. “No, you’ll hear him here. That is, if he calls. I bet you’ll need to go to him and make up. In case you don’t catch my drift, make up with him soon.” Levi was thankful for his suggestion but still a little pissed off himself.

****************

David left a hour later saying he was meeting Mikasa for brunch. He said he’d keep her busy today because she also needed some time to heal. Levi understood. He eventually came to the door of their bedroom and opened it. Eren was in the bed on his side facing the window. He wasn’t asleep form what Levi could tell and the letter was closed on Levi’s desk. He crawled in slowly laying down next to him, careful not to bother him or annoy him. After a few moments Eren rolled over to face him, hands under the pillow, his expression and body language shy and child like again. His face was tinged pink, raw from rubbing tears away, nose red, lashes heavy and matted together in perfect points that Levi marveled at but felt sorrowful for because he knew the cause of such fragile beauty. Eren’s hand moved and smoothed over the cool sheets till it slowly, gingerly, made its way to Levi’s hand where he began to play with his fingers gently. Levi didn’t want to talk first, least he make Eren talk when he didn’t want to. As long as he was near him, that was enough. As long as they were like this, it was enough for a lifetime.

A few precious minutes later, Levi’s phone vibrated and the familiar ringtone meaning he was getting a skype call. He wanted to answer but that would be rude given the situation. It seemed he wasn’t the only one who understood what was going on and probably who was the one calling him. Eren gave him a quizzical look, nose wrinkling a bit like Armin, eyes shining in the low light, “That’s Hanji.” His voice rose an octave in surprise, “Answer it, dummy.” Levi gave him a warning look, “Dummy?” he mumbled begrudgingly under his breath as Eren’s hand moved down to pull lightly at the fabric that covered Levi’s chest, and was greeted to a familiar face and greeting, “Leevee!” Mila smiled, hands coming up to clap. Levi’s face flashed with an emotion that Eren lived for: total happiness and pleasure. Hanji started talking about this and that and Mila would sputter and show Levi things like the horses they got her and say his name over and over since it was one of the five words she knew and according to Hanji and Mike, he absolute favorite. In fact, Mike used it to get her attention and calm her down. He says that Levi is always a crowd pleaser and can’t wait for her to grow up and truly experience his _winning_ personality. He spoke to her in French like always and Hanji started to speak a bit in French too, surprising him. “You’re learning French?” They rolled their eyes, hair down and without glasses, “I kind of have to because you never speak to her in English. She’s going to need reinforcement not just from you. Mike, however….well, let’s just say he’s a little less gifted in that department. El bagetto is not gunna cut it nor even close to correct.” Levi chuckled and so did Eren. Hanji wanted to speak to Eren and they all had a small talk between them with a cameo from Mike who had just got back from physical therapy and was covered in dirt. Hanji had turned around, “Did you go to the silo?” Mike shook his head, “Nooooo.” Hanji huffed, “Well, I didn’t know the rec-center was so damn dirty.” Mike nodded, “I know, I know….dirt baths. It’s a thing.” “A thing?” Hanji said incredulously, “Really?” Mike nodded more, “Yeah, yeah…holistic…good for the…everything.” After a while it was time for them to go, “Say ciao to Levi.” Mila moved forward trying to get inside of the phone it seemed, “Leevee…choaw.” Levi wanted to die from how cute it was and it took all of his years of being a sad pessimistic little man to not openly coo at her. 

When they ended the session Eren pressed himself against Levi’s chest, his head under his chin and arms wrapped around him tightly. Levi held him closer, kissing the top of his head softly, tenderly. Eren began, a whisper, “I never knew I was…” Levi felt his breath hitch in his chest as he tried to go on, “It’s okay now. I’ve got you, Eren. I’ve got you and I’m never letting go.” Eren started to silently cry, whisper smaller and more desperate, “But what am I going to do? What do I say to him? To momma?” Levi kissed him again, “Whatever you want to, my love. I am just here to support you. It’s whatever you want to do.” Eren snuggled closer, “I want to remember.” He sobbed, “But, I want to forget.” The feeling was mutual as Levi held Eren against him till the sun set.


	75. Black Humor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A smol chapter.

Jean and Marco were getting their bags in the airport while debating how they would get to Levi’s apartment. Marco turned to Jean who was marked up from a night of passion, courtesy of him. He smirked, licking his lips when Jean turned to face him, “I really did a number on you. I’m surprised no one has asked if you’re in danger of your life.” Jean smiled cockily, “I’ll be sure to return the favor twice over, babe. You think Levi will go for it?” Marco hummed looking around noticing a farmer with a goat. This airport was so ridiculous. “I think he’ll be secretly flattered but….I don’t know if he’ll say yes. You know, he really wants to have a child soon, settle in more, and then Eren’s father asked him to take over the hospital. That’s a big deal and he’ll probably want to do it for Eren.” “Yeah, yeah. Debbie downer, don’t crush me too much.” “I’m just being honest. If he says no then you might want to ask Erwin.” “Wuuuut?” Jean spun around on his heel, “WUT!?” Marco laughed brightly, “Um yeah.” Jean whistled turning back around and grabbing their bags quickly. “Let’s taxi.” Marco nodded, “Okay.”

Jean and Marco found the building taking the elevator up to their floor. Each floor had four separate apartments of a fairly decent size. Since they were the top of the building the ceiling height was the best, probably 12 or 14ft ceilings which even in the states came at a big price. Both were excited to see the inside. Marco walked to the door knocking on it but no one answered. Jean walked up behind him knocking, too but after a while he pounded, “They must have forgotten we were coming today. So fucking rude.” Jean sneered at the door while Marco wrapped his arms around him, nuzzling against his neck, “Calm down. They might be asleep.” Marco’s stubble on his chin rubbed against his neck and Jean relaxed a bit. 

The elevator opened, the ding echoing in the hall, and David and Mikasa appeared. David smiled at Marco whose friendly face made him feel immediately better without exception. Jean’s, on the other hand, “What’s wrong?” Mikasa shrugged and he nodded, “Got in a fight with Eren. Did he break stuff?” She stared. He ran his hands through his fauxhawk, “Miki, you’ve got seconds to tell me not to kick his ass and explain.” Mikasa inhaled, “I told him Grisha knew my parents would be murdered, that he let it happen so he could get me, then I brought up the fact that Grisha used to hit him and that he’s done things over his life that’s wrong to him.” Jean deflated, eyes wide, face pale, “Ohhh…ohhhh God, noooooo. Mikasa…..this is bad for him and you,” “And you, Jean. Marco, too. We’re all involved in something we really don’t want to be and we have to be because of fate.” 

Marco stepped forward, “You have to give us more information. You kind of sound like you’ve both suffered some sort of psychological trauma and break thinks to what you went through.” Mikasa turned to David who stepped forward, “Will you trust us?” Marco and Jean looked to each other before nodding. David put his hand on Mikasa’s shoulder and began to speak, “We’re all reincarnated. We’ve known each other through many lives and we’ve all been working towards something. Now, we’ve got to find out what it is and we’ve started to realize that we’re closer than ever before. Mikasa and I remembered things when we in the waters fighting for our lives. Eren and Levi are on the cusp due to pictures and artifacts that his mother has left for him. But, Eren is regressing in other more personal ways and not handling the truth of the situation well. He can’t accept his father could be a bad person or at least a very unethical person. He rejects what Mikasa says and how she tries get him to see the information and what happened in their childhood. His safety and security is dislodged and his sense of self and how he views love is now at an all time low. It would be wise to give him space and for you two to work with us on remembering what roles you two play in this. We have pictures of you two from WWII but we’ve each seen you in our other lives but rarely together for a long period time. It would seem one, normally Marco, dies and this dislodges the other.” 

Jean and Marco felt the weight of his words crush them. Jean recovered first, “Way to fucking psychology that all up, you asshole. You could have made that less painful.” Mikasa’s eyes narrowed, “Jean, don’t disrespect him.” “Whatever, Mikasa. You agree, you’re just too in love to notice. Marco always calls me on my shit.” Marco cut his eyes over, “Like now, you’re being an asshat, you asshat. Shut up.” Jean flinched as Marco took his arm, “Come on, let’s go inside and take a look at the pictures and start working on it all together.” Jean nodded moving towards the door as Mikasa stepped forward to unlock it.

****************

The tomes littered the table and some were on the floor as they went through them. Marco had a pad out with a rough timeline that was coming together quickly due to Kuschel’s work and meticulous records that she must have spent months on. “Oh my god, look! Marco we’re in the stream here and on the beach is Eren and Mikasa.” “Look at this one!” “Mikasa’s hair is braided like a fucking warrior.” “Damn, is this?! THIS IS HER WEDDING PHOTO OH MY GOD MIKI YOU’RE MARRIED HERE!” “Psssh David, you cradle robber, she was 17!” “David was super old.” “David worked in a metal factory, loser.” “So, apparently I grew up with Jaeger, Marco was our neighbor, Mikasa was also a neighborhood girl and we were the four closest friends. Where is Armin? How did you meet David? How do we meet Levi and Erwin?” “Here’s one of him. Ohhh yuck….Erwin was a really high ranking officer.” “He was in the French invasion and Polish. Damn, look at his eyes…menacing.” “Do you think they knew each other? Levi and Erwin? And that’s how they got together? Was Levi….not Jewish?” “No here is a picture of him at a bar mitzvah and here is David….in the crowd. Oh….so David and Levi knew each other….and they were at least in the same shul community?” “Mikasa’s in this picture here….at a Zionist girl’s club. Hmmm the government would have known about it, too.” “David and I, from what we remember, were partisans in the war. We met through our mutual shul and then he and I went in to the underground resistance. We still kept in touch but it was risky. You all hid us when we needed to be hidden.” “But, Levi?” “I was Levi’s friend closest friend but that wasn’t as close as you’d think. He always seemed to be hiding and doing on his own. He wasn’t around a lot at all….an outlier and loner it seemed. He had someone, I think. Someone he was protecting?” “Was it Eren?” “I don’t think so.”

“But, how did he meet Eren?” A photo fell to the table of Levi and Eren in a fox hole sharing a canteen. “They were in the same division it seems. He was his commanding officer. Makes sense. Well, we all were in this same division under Levi and Erwin…but no Armin.” “What do you have so far, babe?” “Hmmmmm I have a rough outline. Levi’s mom must have known we’d need this material and for it to be understandable.” 

**1910(s):** Irven Schmidt, David Lavie, Levi Ackermann 

**1920:** Eren Jaeger, Jean Kirschstein, Marco Baader, Mikasa Ackermanm born (possibly Armin?) 

**1935:** EJM involved in Hitler youth and Mikasa meets David at young Zionist club activities. He is a leader. 

**1938:** EJM join, als Freiwilliger, (were free willing to join or rather they volunteered for service and were not conscripted/drafted) Wehrmacht, Irven earns military ranks in Czech and Poland. Goes to France, Levi joins him as his under officer suddenly and mysteriously in 1939 when he comes back from France. Mikasa and David start working in the underground. They stage protests and start fighting deportations. EJM are finishing training and preparing to leave for the East. They all work to secure Mikasa and David false papers. 

**1940:** Irven, Levi, and EJM are in Poland 

**1941:** ILEJM take part in operation Barbarossa. Irven promoted. 

**1942:** Their squad became a point of contact and auxiliary relief unit to an Einsatzgruppen. Irven and Levi lead cleansings in the East. 

**1943:** Levi is sent back to Germany for leave. Irven comes to get him from jail. It states that he was jailed for the high crime, “Rassenschande” or “racial defilement.” They return to the East front. Marco died in battle in early January trapped in a mine field. Jean and Eren make it to March and then Jean dies by sniper fire. Eren hospitalized for a week. Leaves to meet up with Irven and Levi when they return. In June, Levi is sent to Buchenwald as a communist at the…behest of Irven Schmidt. Eren is also sent in August to Buchenwald as a communist. But…why not Auschwitz or Bergen-Belson or just shot? He was Jewish? 

**1945:** Irven Schmidt goes A-Wall. Is found outside of Oswiecim dead in a hotel room after the surrender, his arm is missing. Suicide is the official cause, a note found on his body inside a glass container hidden under his tongue is listed, _“I wanted to be with you at the end of the world. E S A T S M R E B E T R S I R E R A L.”_ Levi and Eren are a part of the famous and notorious Buchenwald resistance and manage to live and be liberated. Both die after the liberation the occurred in April in May 1945, the case listed as murder by the allied investigators who eventually find them in a cabin in the woods but no suspects were ever convicted. Mikasa sent a wreath of red poppies to their graves. 

**1946:** Mikasa and David are killed in Sweden by unknown assailants. They owned a printing company and were planning on moving to “Eretz Yisrael.” Their building, papers, and books were all burned after their death and their publications destroyed. None of the group survived. 

They were all quiet. “But,” Mikasa began slowly, “I know Armin had to be there or involved. Eren mentioned him in some of my memories.” Jean frowned, “Ugh… I have a morbid idea.” “What?” “Search his name in Auschwitz.” David hummed, “Good idea. We can check to see if his name is on a list. Or a variation of it.” “What was his name back then?” “I think it was just Armin from what Eren said.” “Okay, let’s hope it doesn’t change the spelling or become Baader like Marcos.” Marco chuckled, “I must have been too Italian for them.” Mikasa nodded, “And I was too Jewy for them.” David was on his computer, “I can make calls if need be, too.” Mikasa smiled, “You’re wonderful.” Jean made gagging noises while Marco raised his eyebrows suggestively. 

“Where’s Jaeger?” “Bed.” “Oh…and Levi.” “In there.” “Kay.” “When are you going to Italy?” “In a week. Stay for a week or two and head back here.” “How was Nashville.” “Well…about that.” Mikasa tapped the table, “What about it?” “I’ve decided to get a hobby.” Mikasa paused and so did David. “Because painting isn’t my hobby, you know?” David nodded his head, “Oh, yes. I understand and that’s really great that you’ve come to this conclusion.” Mikasa gave him a confused look, “Because, Mikasa, sewing isn’t your hobby. It’s your work. You’re hobby is dance. Sparring is exorcise and not the same. Jean’s been stressed out lately and I’m sure that it came from not having another hobby to express himself with. Very good, Jean. What have you picked?” 

Mikasa snorted, “Wow, you’re such a psychologist.” David wrapped his arm around her shoulder, “I am a certified psychologist on retainer by Mr. Smith. I should hope I come off that way.” She smiled as Jean and Marco did, too. “I’m going to start a band and if I can’t start one look for one to join but I really wanna start one.” The room was quiet, “What will you play?” “I can do guitar or drums. You know I can play.” She nodded, “Yeah, yeah, I just didn’t know if you were thinking of one in particular. Hmmm Connie will want in.” “I was hoping.” “But, who else?” “I don’t…know…” “Liar.” “I want to ask Levi to sing. Mike also mentioned he played some things…perhaps Eld.” David gave them a somewhat frightened look, “Just to put it out there…Levi has never accepted an offer to sing with anyone. You might want to ask Erwin.” Jean nodded, rolling his eyes at Marco who leaned towards him with a shit eating grin. “I told you.” “Yep. He’s back up.” Marco smiled, “Be glad Armin didn’t hear that or he’d have you on the ground.” “Ohhh that little mouse. Psshhh he can’t take me.” Marco rolled his eyes, “I’d put my money on Armin any day.” “BABE! THAT HURT!” Marco snickered.

They all kept researching and piecing things together for when Levi, Eren, Armin, and Erwin were all with them. Then they’d compare. What they were all thinking is that whatever happened in WWII was not only the last reincarnation but the most promising one since the beginning. It seemed to suspicious to rule out that they’d been murdered and Erwin leaving a note like that meant that they were all on to something. Also, everyone spent a good two hours discussing how shocked they were that Erwin had sent Levi to a concentration camp and then Eren. What the hell was with that? Why Buchenwald? Why at all? What the hell did that random assortment of letters mean? Maybe Irven had just lost his mind and been drunk on Schnapps. He was, apparently, an evil Nazi commander. “Damn,” Jean exclaimed, “I need a drink to get over SS Schmidt.” Marco barked a laugh, “It’s not funny but it is.” “They call it black humor.” David interjected, “ _Schwarzer Humor._ ”


	76. Levi and Eren's Fuck It Night

The water was warm and sloshed against the side of the rim, “There was this boy, with really dreamy green eyes, long tan legs for dayzzzzz, and a rockin’ body, who said “Hey, how about we put a full size tub in the bathroom?” And there was this other guy, fucking chiseled body with these fine ass tattoos, face like the grumpy cat, and he said, “No, absolutely not! Money, money, money, problems, problems, problems, no, no, no,” “Hush, I did not,” “How about I put your dreams over in the corner where you want that tub to be and then CRUSH them?!” “Absolutely absurd, I did not say,” “Crunch, crunch, crunch, crush, crush, crush, boom! POW! CRUNCH! Do you like that, pretty brat with the green eyes? Do you like when I crush your dreams? I SURE DO! Bwhaahahaha! I am Levi, crusher of dreams.” “Sometimes dreams are stupid and deserve a level of crushing to really test them.” “And the boy said, despite the attempts of the hottie dream crusher, “No, I think it’ll work out.” And he worked with the fine ass sour puss man and they were successful in putting a tub there without any of those things he’d warned about happening.” “WE HAD SO MANY PROBLEMS. I was right about the studs, the pipes, the money, the materials,” “And that boy was so glad that he got his tub, he was so so fucking glad, that he let that sex god demon dream crusher join him in it. And here they are, dreamer and dream crusher, sittin’ in this soapy ass water with bubbles and enjoying the view from the big ass window.” “That window was also problematic.” “Said no one ever.” “That story was,” “an amazing story.” “a pile of shit.” 

Levi’s arms were wrapped tightly around Eren’s stomach as he leaned back on him, “Thanks for the bubbles,” Eren mumbled shyly. Levi had drawn them a bath and filled it with Eren’s bubble bath mix he bought at the market. It smelled like honeysuckle and Levi had found the purchase amusing to watch and the product of a very persuasive French lady who knew how to get in Eren’s head and tug on his heartstrings. Levi knew bubble baths were bad for the urinary track but whatever. He’d deal with the slight chance of an infection for Eren. “No problem.” “Levi?” “Wanna get out now?” Levi snorted, voice amused, “Are you hungry, Eren?” “Yeah,” Eren gave him a shy look, “…and you know…I wanted to cuddle with you more but not pruned and wet.” Levi let the water out and they rinsed off. They toweled themselves off and went into their [bedroom](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/2d/bd/83/2dbd839a9bad69b1c0b50811eef07cef.jpg). Levi pulled on a dark grey loose cotton tank top and baggy black work out pants. Eren’s grey shorts and oversized olive green tank top that complimented his skin tone well. They were like two young punks and Levi laughed, “We look like hoodlums.” Eren smiled, “We are.”

Eren walked forward running his hands up and down Levi’s arms, “How much…do you love me?” Levi smirked, “Mmm I know enough about you to know that doesn’t sound good.” “How much?” Eren leaned down, lips dangerously close, “More than words could ever express.” Eren grinned, “I would like to remember this day for something other than all the shit I’ve found out. I want to do something…seriously insane.” “Levi leaned back looking him in the eye, “Well…we’re already married so…all that’s left to top that is crystal meth.” “I want to get a tattoo.” Levi blinked, “What?” “I’ve wanted to for a while and I’m the reason Erwin got his.” Levi looked him up and down, “Well, it’s not crystal meth. I guess that’s not so bad because I’ve wanted to save that for when the family is all together.” “The family?” “Us..four.” “Ohhhh I had no idea you’d named us. And after such a bad thing in American history. I don’t feel very Manson-isch, neshama but I guess I could marathon _Vally of the Dolls_ and listen to the beach boys on repeat.” “Shut the fuck up, my love.” “So tattoos.” “They are permanent.” Eren shook his head, “I know. I give you the power to veto, neshama.” “Oh…I like that. I like that a lot.” Eren laughed, “Thought you would.”

Levi’s hands rested on his hips. “Eren,” he leaned up whispering hotly in Eren’s ear, “Baby,” Eren’s stomach dropped. He loved how those Bs sounded on his lips. “Yeah?” Eren breathed, whiney and desperate. Levi leaned closer, lips brushing against his earlobe, around its smooth round edges, “I need to take a shit before we go.” He patted Eren’s shoulders moving into the bathroom and shutting the door. Eren heard him put on his Spotify play station he made for the specific ritual he engaged in twice sometimes three times a day that he had ingeniously titled “tunes for shitting.” Eren just smiled and smiled till his cheeks hurt at the thought and the day he had found the station on his computer. His husband was really into shitting and considered it a healthy and high priority and therefore, Eren took it just as serious and let him engage in it like their prayers whenever the time called.

His phone vibrated in his pocket and after noting the ID he slid to answer it, “Hello?” “Eeeeren?” Hanji’s voice was high and tin like, tinkling like bells, “You, uh, alone?” Eren felt his stomach sink, “God Hanji, yeah, um but not for long and I gotta be quiet.” He whispered as they clicked their tongue behind their teeth, “Okay, I’ll make it fast. I need your opinion on something. I…uh…need to tell Levi some hard truths.” “Like?” “Well, first off….our cancer cure has been stolen….” “WHAT?!” “Yeeeeaaaaahhhh ummmm totally workin’ on findin’ that but MILA NO GOD MIKE PLEASE OH….okay and the second thing is it’s been a while since we last spoke about that baby in the womb. MILA! Mike you can’t just keep pointing to the closet saying Levi is in there she is UPSET. CAN YOU NOT SEE YOUR DAUGHTER IS UPSET AND WHAT IF LEVI STOPS WORKING BECAUSE OF IT!?” Eren’s skin prickled, “HANJI! What’s wrong with it?” “WEEEEELLLLL it’s kind of not going so good and I might be considering using his serum,” “NO, THAT’S TOO,” “A-a-a-a VERY DILUTED VERSION OH COURSE HA HA HA HA HA HA ha! SIIIIILLLY EREN! HA HA HA! I WOULD NEVER BE RECKLESS!” Eren was freaking out, “What’s wrong with it?” “Heart murmur. I think there is a hole in a ventricle. It happens and Levi knows from experience.” “How?” “He had three holes in his heart when he born. Didn’t close and heal till five and he had a murmur.” “I didn’t know that.” “He doesn’t even think about it. I asked because I didn’t his physical once for him.” “Then you just…violated HIPPA for telling me this, Hanji. How are you a doctor?” “I’m tenaciously gifted.” “Oh.” “Yeah, so…how should I tell him?” “Don’t.” “What?” “Nope. Do what you think is best and then let me know. The cancer serum was split in two remember? We have some hidden. Review tapes, look at logs. Basic stuff. Don’t tell him yet, though.” Hanji tisked, “Eren!” “Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.” “You know what…okay. I’ll do it but…when would be a good time to,” “When can the thing be…you know?” “Born? Um…middle of July. I think it’s going to come early though. The womb is….interesting.” “How ahead is it?” “I think instead of 40 weeks…it’ll be fine to be born 32-35 though middle July puts it at 38. That’s honestly shocking but something about the conditions inside have allowed the child to progress well and rapidly grow to healthy birthing weight and all vitals look good except for the murmur but the parents said it ran in their family so this was to be expected. It might be the amniotic fluid we’ve created with the serum as a base. It’s nice because…it’s not a real womb so having it inside of it is somewhat nerve wracking.” Yeah, Eren knew the feeling, “Then we’ll tell him after it’s you know…here.” “Really?” “Yeppp.” “Okay well, I love you and I’ll talk to soon. Please keep me updated.” “AWWWWWW I LOVE YOUUUUUU TOOOOOOOO! Bye bye, Eren. Mila anxiously awaits her uncle Eren’s return, the one who pretends to be a titan that tears through her teepee and eats horses! Though….they are not interested in people. I don’t know why I think that…but call it a head canon. OKAY TOOTALOO! Y’all stay safe and have fun.” The line went dead and Eren went pale at the thought of babies being born sooner than later.

Levi emerged a few minutes later, “Come on, tell me what the hell you’re thinkin’ of getting because I can’t wait to shoot them down.” After much discussion they moved to leave their safe haven and ended up walking in to a room of people who’d been working away for hours with the old tomes and albums, mouths currently full of thai food, and empty beer bottles on the floor, “What are you two super homos doing?” Jean said loudly and incredulously as Eren and Levi momentarily stared at them all confused until they both realized that today was the day they were supposed to come and they had completely forgotten about it. Shitty friends, they were. Apologize they must. But not now. Levi recovered quicker than Eren, “What are all you fuck boys doing?” Jean’s eyes widened, “Fuck boys?” Levi leaned forward, body aggressive and gangster-like, face mocking of Jean’s expression, taunting, “Yeah,” he stressed the word, _“fuck boys._ That’s all there is to see in front of me. Fuck boys there,” He pointed at Marco whose face lit up in surprise, “Fuck boys over there,” Mikasa and David both jerked in shock, their mouth opened revealing half chewed tie and small screams of protest, “Fuck boys for days. Fuck you all and to all of you a good fuck!” Eren shuffled forward throwing his arms forward in a “come at me bro” style before both of them threw up peace signs and left the apartment.

***********************

“How did this turn into a couple’s thing?” Levi yawned while laying in the chair Eren was really enjoying his time being tattooed much to Levi amusement but not surprise. Sadomasochism was kind of their thing. “Because, you got jelly of my super good idea.” Levi took a shot of Jaeger from the bottle they bought on their way to the shop as the tattoo artist wiped away ink on his skin, “Hmph, yeah whatever, shitty brat.” Eren looked over, “I want a shot, neshama.” Levi paused, “No..” “Neshama!” “Mine. It’s all mine. The whole bottle.” The tattoo artist took the bottle form him passing it, “We share in their shop. Don’t be a bitch.”

When they were finished they stood looking at their new ink in the large gold rimmed floor length mirror. They’d been there for a really long time but that was okay. Eren was for feeling better now that he’d let of some steam with the pain. Levi looked at Eren’s [wolf tattoo](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/0f/e5/74/0fe57419243646163c955899668f9c47.jpg) on the back of his left arm from elbow point to almost the top of his tricep and then Eren looked at Levi’s [wolf tattoo](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/78/49/e6/7849e6cb158bbbe84843ae13ac7ce33a.jpg) that was also on the back of his left tricep, blending upwards where the bottom of his raven feathers brushes. They needed to put the plastic back over it but they’d each be healed by the time they got home. Erwin’s had taken so well that the tattoo artist thought he was “trippin mad balls” by the end of it. “I’m not going to lie, you look damn hot brat.” Eren smirked, “I think you got even hotter, too.” Both kissed each other before paying and walking out on the street. They grabbed something to eat at a trendy food truck outside of a club and walked back leisurely talking about how the food tasted great but was probably going to poison them. 

Eren took Levi’s hand, “I’m going to tell him I know. I’m going to do it with Armin there, too. I think he needs to be there because,” Eren sighed, “we will both need to and want to hear why. Why use your children to hurt these Reiss people? Why let Mikasa go through that? He could have just insisted on a friendship between us, right? Armin didn’t deserve that and I wonder if when he opposed adopting him that was a reason. Maybe he knew he’d go too far if Armin were to legally be in his care?” Levi stopped before their building to turn around. The low gold and white lamplight and shiny silver rain slick street in the background of Levi’s face when he looked at him, “Are we good?” Eren was confused, “Did you….think we weren’t?” Levi shrugged, “I was curious.” Eren nodded, “Of course, neshama, I love you more than anything. I can’t really be mad at you for long or…ever. I…just can’t. Plus, we’ll just have to sit down and talk about it some other time.” Levi smiled, “Well, let’s go see what the haters have found. Leave fuck boys alone and they might start slapping Nike symbols on things, replace all the good alcohol with tequila, and wear hats backwards that are in neon colors.” Eren barked a laugh following behind him hurriedly. Inside Jean was on the couch with Marco laying on his chest and Mikasa and David were drinking tea at the coffee table on the floor. A bad French film played on the flat screen. When they entered Marco lifted his head up off of Jean’s chest, “Where would you like us to sleep? I feel bad having left our stuff in the living room and potentially in your way.” You just couldn’t hate that beautiful caramel soul.

Levi allowed a small smile to grace his features. “We have three bedrooms and two baths. I’ll give y’all a tour. It’s small but hopefully to your liking.” Jean and Marco stood up going from [kitchen](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/c1/4f/9f/c14f9f5600b3fcf839aba244388ccadf.jpg), [living room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/bc/61/3d/bc613df64d42a51f10f51f7fa0ee90b9.jpg) and [family room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/58/b0/1c/58b01c48097cab3016bbfe9d3f87bc2c.jpg) combination, something they’d been meaning to perhaps change but the old school eclectic feel really suited them for this space since it was a home away from home, to the first guest [room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/5e/54/3e/5e543e4445af496b86d4f39c97175b66.jpg) that was David and Mikasa’s, and then the shared [bathroom](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/db/a0/40/dba040cb9a9e24cb67193fcc987e271a.jpg) that Levi had had updated while they stopped by when Eren went to Turkey for work, and their guest [room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/73/4f/c0/734fc0ac9bb119acfb0489ca1e7e0680.jpg). Levi looked at them, “Of course, if you can’t stand the two beds you can put them together. We liked them and left them. They’re actually from when I lived here. They, Jews in the community, sometimes leave furniture for others when they are moving because it saves time and is nice if the other family needs it. These were refurbished and I like them.” Levi sounded very sentimental and it made Jean and Marco smile and appreciate it much more. Marco and Jean really loved the apartment and we happy to have a place to settle in with such history.

After they settled, Eren walked over to Mikasa who was eating pocky that David had found for her and gotten. She looked up at Eren who was looking down at her. He reached out quickly, pulling her stick and breaking it off. She furrowed her brows, “Hey!” He popped it in his mouth and started pulling on her shirt. She slapped his hands away as he kept on, now tickling her till she squealed. She slapped him playfully on the arms, chest, and back, her voice an ever increasing squeal, “StoooOOOOOPPPPP! EREN! HA HA! NooooOOOOOO!” Eren smiled ruefully as she begged David to stop him but instead her pleading turned to despair as David joined in. This is how they normally resolved their quarrels. Eren wasn’t so good with his feelings and Mikasa understood.

Levi and Eren eventually showed the group their tattoos. Marco took out his pad passing it to Levi who took it without question but some level of dread clear in his features. He read the timeline and small notes while Eren stroked Donner’s fur. They stayed like that till Eren decided to take Donner out to use the bathroom. They had one of the new “fresh patches” for dogs that lived in condos or places without backyards but Eren wanted to take him out since he’d been in all day. Levi didn’t question him and rubbed on Donner while he waited for Eren to get his leash. He loved Donner and he loved that Eren loved him.

When he came back Mikasa and David had gone to bed, or rather had gone to fool around and make the others turn on some music and become very interested in the TV. Levi handed Eren the time line. He watched as his face flashed with something, some sort of emotion that Levi couldn’t place, before he turned to him and said he wanted to go to bed or at least lay in bed and watch some Netflix. Jean and Marco didn’t have a TV in their room so they could use this one. Jean got up coming over to hug Eren. “I missed you, maniac.” Eren patted his back as he held him closer, “Fuck you, Kirsch….I missed you too.” Jean hummed, “See you in the morning. Don’t be too loud. I ain’t got time to hear y’all and them. Don’t traumatize me.” Eren snorted and they went to their room.

In bed Levi and Eren traced loose patterns on each other’s skin. They listened to the dull sounds of the TV until Eren turned over towards Levi, eyes wide and innocent. Levi blinked, “Yes?” Eren blinked owlishly, “I’m a vampire.” Levi smirked, amused glint returning and lighting up his eyes, “You sound sure?” “Yes. I am completely convinced.” “Why?” “Because right now I want to drink your blood.” “Oh,” Levi affected his voice like an old southern man who was both flattered and delighted, “well, then I surely should fear for my life. For you, my Dracula, shall kill me in order to do so.”

Eren moved closer, biting his lip in concentration, “What if you allow me and I allow you? Isn’t that how it works? Both give and achieve immortality?” Eren challenged him and for some reason Levi wasn’t against it like normal, “Okay.” Eren’s eyes lit up like a child who was just told he could have ice cream for breakfast, “Really?” “Yes, I am. Fuck it. We want it and you know what, it’s just us. We’re sick freaks and I don’t give a shit. I’ve wanted to do this for so long and you’re my husband, my everything, my love. I know you’re charts and your blood clinically. Nothing to lose, really.” Levi rolled over and removed his knife from the side drawer.

Eren moved closer, “Wow, glad I was once a test subject for you to have that at the ready. Are we for real doing this?” Levi stilled, voice sarcastic, “Yeah, Eren. You asked for it.” Eren moved even closer, voice excited, “I know but this is wrong, right?” Levi shrugged, pulling his shirt off, “I guess that all depends on your idea of wrong and right. I just don’t see how me sticking my fingers in your asshole is any more “right” or “wrong” than tasting your blood.” Eren’s face was pink, “Wow, that was….I don’t think you had to take it there.” Levi gave him a cold stare, “I rim you. You rim me. Our tongues touch,” “Levi, are you trying to kill everything I like to do sexually? Because you are succeeding in your bluntness.” Levi held up his hand with the knife, face knowing, “You love it.” Eren suppressed his smirk, mumbling, “I do. Let’s do this.” “Okay. I’m going to cut you first and then me. Don’t be a bitch about it and cry.” “I am a man.” “Hmph, okay brat.” “I am a strong man who doesn’t feel,” _slice,_ “OWWW.” 

Levi rolled his eyes after hearing him. He had made a pretty good cut above his clavicle near the crook of his neck. It would heal. He did the same for himself and They both watched the red droplets come to the top like a spring beneath the surface. “Let’s do it.” Levi said suddenly. Eren’s body shook with pleasured and nervous shivers, “Together?” Levi’s eyes were hooded, “Damn…yeah…I think that’s pretty fucking hot.” Eren smirked as Levi’s hands gripped him, both surged forward. It was hot, forbidden, and both derived sick satisfaction from doing it with one another. It seemed like time stopped and they were floating in to one another’s being. It was primal and then it started.

Things became clearer to them both separately and together. Things like living in a walled city, living underground and being covered in sewer water, living in the slums, the feel of maneuvering gear, the smell of gun powder, the ting of swords, the cling of metal from the blade of a guillotine as it fell, and more. Then there were the emotions: the fear of being tortured, the happiness of life, and the sorrow of loss. It all kept coming: the smell of being burned at the stake, the sound of tanks, the feeling of water cold on the skin of the back and the electric shocks that it amplified, the smooth feel of satin sheets, and so much more. Sensations, feelings, story lines, lifetimes and lifetimes of experiences all came together in one long flash of white and gold to suddenly ignite in a brush fire, uncontainable and enormous. 

Eren and Levi lay together tangled in one another not moving or speaking. It was heavy with words left unsaid. Suddenly, Eren moved his hands through Levi’s hair, “Well,” his voice amused, “now we know.” Levi smirked, “Yes, now we know.” He took Eren’s hand kissing it softly, “I didn’t think it was possible but I love you even more.” Eren snorted, “That’s exactly how I feel.” “We’re so close.” “We are so very close, my love. It’s all going to work out.” 


	77. Armin, Erwin, and vampirism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex, Blood, Remembering, and one step closer.

Erwin was feeling better but Armin wasn’t. He kept remembering things and he had the strangest sensation to share blood with Erwin and it made him feel really odd and dirty. Which conflicted heavily with the fact he’d wiped a pin prick of blood on Levi’s lips and then licked it off. _My god, what is wrong with me?_ Damn, he was so fucked up. Levi cut him and licked his blood. So, then he wasn’t fucked up? _OH WHO WAS HE KIDDING LEVI IS FUCKED AND HE’S FUCKED THEY ARE FUCKED._ Armin had been keeping close tabs on Erwin but today he was finally able to do everything he wanted on his own.

He took a shower, a freezing cold one since Zad didn’t have what he needed for hot water and seemed to not think it was necessary, but he took one all the same. Zadkiel had made them another hearty round of porridge that morning with nuts. Armin was getting a little fed up with the ration style meals. He wasn’t a princess or anything, _Erwin may beg to differ,_ but was it crazy for him to want something leafy and green? Or fruit? You know, juicy wonders of the world? Why did he have to eat everything almost bloody and wheat based? Soviet cook, soviet food he guessed. 

Armin was now nestled in to the side of Erwin in their bed. He was so cold that Erwin returning to his normal warmth had been a welcome thing. He was also glad to be in the bed again and not a chair or pallet near the wood burning stove in the small living room. Erwin stroked his hair, “I love you, baby. Thank you for saving my life for the thousandth time.” He smiled at Armin and Armin’s heart pounded, “Erwin?” “Yes?” “Can I drink your blood?” Erwin stilled, “Did Levi put you up to that?” “No? Why?” “Because that’s the weird shit he says to me all the time.” Armin giggled, “Really?” “Yes.” “I don’t believe you.” “Really? Are you calling me a liar?” “I ain’t callin’ you a truther.” Erwin sat up looking Armin in the face, look of “oh the fuck you didn’t just say that” on his face. 

“Then let me give you examples: You sometimes tackle me and and pretend to be a koala bear, right?” Armin giggled, “Yeah.” Erwin nodded his head from side to side, “Weeeell Levi sometimes does the same thing but he pretends to be slaying titans. He jumps on my back and starts making noises like slicing and tackles me to the floor.” “NOOOOO!” “Yes, he’s “humanity’s strongest” and my eyebrows are apparently tiny titans so he’ll sometimes poke at them with the chop sticks from all of our take out because heaven forbid we ever keep a non-kosher house, damn.” Armin was in hysterics, “MORE! MORE!”

“He tells me he’s a vampire and that he wants to drink my blood and has ever since we started our relationship. He used to go to our private barrack, slip away when I wasn’t looking. Inside, I’d find him dancing, lips painting black, eyes lined in black eyeliner, his hair slick with sweat, body glistening, and only his black leather pants on. He’d hiss at me when I tried to touch him. I’d just let him dance and drink.” “Are you FUCKING SERIOUS?” Erwin smiled, “Tots.” 

He’s also the reason I once woke up in a flooded room with “Kill Life” spray painted on the walls. I was so fucking confused and swore to never do E with him again. I broke that promise that very night at a rave where we met two Ukrainian girls who worshiped us.” “Ewww. Flooded?” “Yes, my bed was an inflatable pool raft he must have found and then decided to make use of it by flooding the room. He pulled a pipe out form under the sink. He once took me to a bar where everyone did speed and he told me time didn’t exist anymore so he removed the clock from the wall and then hung it around my neck. We were on “Erwin Time” and then he…slammed someone’s face into a window and laughed like a mad man till he started crying.” Armin was in stitches, “Levi….he’s a prince.” “A prince of darkness.” “But, you’re my king.” “Aw baby, thank you.” “You two are so gay it hurts.” Zadkiel mumbled from his room and both burst into laughter. 

On the next morning Zadkiel saw them off. He hugged Erwin tightly, letting him loose with a pat, “Good luck to you. It was nice seeing you and you know, talking.” Erwin smiled ear from ear, “We will come back probably in,” “Don’t. I don’t need no one checkin’ in on me.” Zadkiel looked around and Erwin frowned, “Zadkiel, you’re getting older, these woods are rough.” That made him sneer, “I’m not feeble, I’m in my 50s, damn. It’s not like I’m 80.” “I know but,” “Just take care of Armin and enjoy your wedding. Don’t get lost in Ukraine. They got bad shit there.” They’d head to Ukraine where Levi and Eren would meet them. Erwin was on the phone with Levi now and they had apparently already started heading there in hopes of getting them both good hotel rooms. They’d not be in the same building, however, but Erwin was thrilled none the less. Something was off with Erwin when he got off the phone, too quiet and too serious. He decided not to ask why and was anxious for the trip down there. Armin was excited to head to a real hotel and start getting back to his creature comforts, mainly food and sex.

*************

Three long but interesting days later they were in Ukraine and in a hotel with hot water, a bed with nice sheets, but no food. Armin was starving. He threw their bags in the corner, sighing loudly. Erwin walked passed him closing the drapes and turning on a small lamp, “Baby,” his voice was playful, “you okay?” Armin walked forward, wrapping his arms around him, “Feeeeed meeee.” Erwin chuckled, “You hungry?” “I. am. a. piranha.” Armin opened and closed his mouth, clicking his teeth for effect. Erwin’s face lit up in delight and amusement, “Wow, are you saying you’re that hungry you’d eat me?” Armin nodded burying his face into his chest, “Foooood.” “I’d have thought you’d want to fool around or watch TV or something else?” “Erwin,” Armin leaned back looking up at him, “if you love me, really love me, you will give me food. I love all the diamonds, the clothes, the things, the books, I really do. But, food, Erwin. Food is the key to my heart. I am a few seconds away from hangry.” Erwin looked amused pulling him closer, “What is that?” “When you’re so hungry it makes you angry.” His face lit up in “Oh….is that what you and Eren get officially?” “Yes, god, like, all the time. I mean, when I’m hangry you could tell me my hair looks nice and I’d still bite your head off. Always feed me.”

Erwin laughed freely, “But never after midnight. I learned that in the dorms. You’re a gremlin in disguise.” Armin pouted as Erwin called for room service and ordered them a lot of different options. Armin took a hot shower and when the food got there Erwin took his. Armin ate his first dish slowly, relishing in the fruits and veggies. He drank juice, played with the jam they provided, and when Erwin appeared he shared his biscuits with him. Armin sat in the bed with one leg under him and the other bent at the knee and to the side. He wore only one of Erwin’s Tshirts, hair wet and drying to the side. “It makes me mad. They didn’t have any wax strips and my legs are all hairy and stuff.” Erwin chuckled, “I don’t mind.” Armin snapped his head back up from where he was rubbing his blond curls on his calf, “I don’t do it for you, daddy. I do it for me.” Erwin’s eyebrows rose, “Oh, dear, I am so sorry then. How dare they not let you take care of yourself. Gosh, I can’t believe I thought it was for me that your prettied up yourself.” Armin stuck his tongue out at him. Erwin watched him, felt so fond of him, and realized how blessed he was to be with him. Levi’s words echoed in his mind from three days earlier. He called Levi.

“Lee? Were here at the hotel. I assume you’ll be here in the morning?” A few moments went by, “Of course. I love you, Lee. I cannot wait to see you.” Erwin hung up and Armin, who had been watching the BBC grainy channel, turned to him, “Daddy, can I ask you something?” Erwin smiled, “Yes?” “When we get married can we fly Zad in?” “I thought….you hated him?” “I do not.” “Oh, well, of course we can.” “And,” “Yes?” “After we get married can we have a baby?” Erwin nearly choked on his coffee, “H-how? Um we can start looking at adoption or? Ummmm you’ve really thrown me off, baby. I’m sorry.” 

Armin pouted, “I asked Eren and I told him I wanted us to use the womb after we got married. I want to do it, Erwin. I want a baby with you. I want it to be our own flesh and blood. There’s never a good time and it’s not like we’d just _poof_ get one. We’d have ten months, 40 weeks, to prepare you know? And I could speed my degree up, finish, and you could continue on the way you were. One day take it all over at the school, like we want and always talked about.” Erwin pouted, “You’d be a stay at home dad?” Armin took a second before continuing, “You don’t want me to work, Erwin. You’ve pretty much said no.” He shrugged and Erwin felt horrible. “I am…I am an asshole.” Armin looked confused, “Why?” “Armin, I….what do you want?” _I’ve already been trying to make up for that._

Armin played with his hair thinking to himself before answering again, “I want you, a baby, a home, and love. I want those things and the rest will work itself out.” Armin shrugged and went back to eating his cake. Erwin felt shame, he had to approach this at all angles, “Right now, things are still bad in the world. The Wall still exists. They’ve came out and claimed responsibility that it was the Danish cell that sank the Kronor. They did it to incite war, Armin, and they’ve nearly succeeded. Russia and America are having severe talks. We might need to bring Zad out of there for his safety. These people, they’re insane and they’re around us, our lives, they touch us. You know a child would make us weak.” Armin’s face was pale, his voice a whisper, “That’s very Eren. Eren would say that.” Erwin shrugged learning forward and running his hands through his hair. _Yes, that was very Eren._ “I just want you to be sure.” “I know I am. And you’re not?” “I am selfish.” “That’s not an answer.”

Erwin leaned back looking him in the eye, “I want what you want and a baby with you, a home with Levi and Eren, a life like that, that sounds like paradise.” Armin gave him a haughty look, tilting his head to the side he squinted, “Then shut up and say yes.” Erwin smirked, lowering his head shyly, “Yes.” “Good.” “You always get what you want?” “That’s the way it was meant to be. You’ve…” _gotten your way plenty of lifetimes._ “I’ve?” Armin got up and went to him to kiss him chastely on the cheek, “you’ve got to love it.” Erwin sighed happily kissing him on his lips, “I do. I love you so much.”

Erwin and Armin finished eating and climbed in to bed, the sheets nice and clean and warm. Armin’s lithe body pressed against him and he felt himself fall into that familiar comfort that was Armin, his second half. He turned on his side to face him and Armin pressed closer, “Erwin?”His voice small and childish, “Hmm?” Erwin closed his eyes enjoying his lover’s voice, “Erwin, I need you. I need you now.” Erwin chuckled, deeply pleased at the desperate tone in Armin’s voice, “I was beginning to wonder exactly how you made it almost three weeks without sex or masturbation at all. There really was no place for you to handle things.” Armin’s hands gripped his chest, he swung a leg over Erwin’s hip, “Erwin,” he quivered, “Erwin, please.” 

Erwin smirked, “Beg more.” Armin didn’t waste a moment, “Pleeeassseee, please, Erwin.” Armin’s hands roamed till Erwin captured them. Erwin held his wrists in his hands to keep him from pulling or touching him or better yet, himself, “Say you want it.” He growled, “Say you want my cock, baby.” His voice was like hot coals and Armin’s body was being raked over them. Armin’s voice shook but it was just as alluring, “I want your cock, Erwin Smith. I want it so bad, you have no idea.” He moaned high and wanton before continuing, “I want to taste it,” he licked his lips, “suck, feel it in me. I want you to fuck me, fuck me so good I pass out and wake up with your fat cock inside of me. Fuck me, Erwin. Fuck me, come in me, mark me.” Erwin’s eyes burned, lips in a lopsided smirk, his voice cruel and teasing, “Is that the best you can do?” 

Armin whinned, loud, animalistic. He thrashed, “Fuck,” he made a small choking noise in the back of his throat, “please. Daddy, punish me.” He angled his body away rolling his hips, his voice sweet and tortured, “I’ve been bad, really bad.” Erwin indulged him, “Mm I bet you have but tell me more of what you want and need.” Armin was panting heavily, eyes hazy, pupils blown, “I want you to choke me that big cock you got, daddy. Fuck my tight ass, daddy. Break me, use me, hurt me, I don’t care. I need you, AH,” he rolled his hips as Erwin gave a strong push, Armin’s wanton moan echoed, “Daddy, I need you now!” Erwin was extremely turned on and a little embarrassed. Armin was always much more freely sexual and perverse than he was.

Erwin tisked, “Daddy doesn’t feel like it.” Armin’s face was flushed red, his pupils blown even wider, and he now looked so distraught, “Daaaadddy!” he moaned and whinned more. He twisted and fought to break his hold on him, “Daddy,” he pouted, started playing to him with his eyes and mouth, “but I’m all ready to go. You can feel for yourself. Just put your fingers inside of me and feel. I want you daddy, I want whatever you want to give me.” 

Erwin’s hand moved around his firm ass and lifted the hem of his shirt up, fingertips slipping up and down the cleft and then lightly brushing at his entrance. They needed lube but he’d a good job in the shower, apparently. He was always trapping Erwin into sex though it was a trap he would gladly walk right in to any time. They didn’t need to wait much longer, though. “I don’t know.” His voice dramatically hesitant, “Seems like I’d still have to do some work. Daddy doesn’t feel like working, baby.” Armin jumped, he knew he’d won, “I’ll do it myself.” Erwin clicked his tongue behind his teeth a few times, “Where is the lube?” Armin smiled, “I’ve got some in my pack.” “Go get it.” He released him and Armin crawled off the bed returning quickly to his side. Erwin was on his back still, “Give me the lube.” 

Armin handed it to him. Erwin inspected the lube, “It warms?” Armin’s eyes were hazy and his cheeks pink, “It’s all they had in travel size.” Erwin smirked, “What if we used it all?” Armin looked confused, “I just want you to fuck me, Erwin. I don’t care what you do.” He panted through his words, body trembling and hot. He’d remembered so much, he wanted this, he wanted to know what it would be like after remembering things like he had to have Erwin intimately engaged like this, with him as more himself than before, “So, you’ll do whatever I want?” Erwin smirked deviously. Armin nodded, answering breathily, “Yes.” 

Erwin sat up grabbing Armin and laying him over his waist. His hands smoothed over the flesh of his perky bottom. He popped the top off the bottle, coated his fingers with the substance and then he slowly entered Armin with two of them. The sounds alone made Armin want to come. The squelching wet sounds of himself and Erwin’s fingers made his eyes rollback. Soon he was perfectly loose again and Erwin was aching to be inside of him. He took the bottle and raised Armin’s bottom up more, “What are you doing, Erwin?” Armin said in a daze, face to the side, cheek on the sheets and hair in his face. Erwin smirked, other hand stroking his hair out of his face to look at him, “You always like to be full, baby. Let’s try something new.” Armin wasn’t sure what that meant exactly until he felt Erwin start to push the rest of the lube form the bottle into him, filling him, and pushing him over the edge into an amazing orgasm that had him drooling and shuddering. His fingers had gotten him so aroused that this was all it took after three weeks of strict celibacy.

Erwin wasted no time flipping him on his back, lifting his hips, and wrapping his legs around his waist. Erwin ripped his shirt off with precision. Armin’s shirt was to follow and then his own briefs. Armin’s breathing was shallow, he was panting loud in the room, Erwin’s body loomed over him like a shadow and then he slid himself fully feeling the hot welcoming heat and the lube that was quickly making it hotter. Armin moaned, extremely pleased and satisfied, as Erwin groaned out low and rough above him, “Fuck.” One deep slow thrust as Armin shook, Erwin groaned again, “Ahh, Shit,” He adjusted and hissed, “Yeeessss,” another deep and slow thrust. Armin whimpered as Erwin’s mouth fell open lost in rapture, his voice high and very affected by his aroused state, “Fuck that’s good, oh Armin fuuuck,” another thrust, Armin was hard again thanks to Erwin’s exclamations and he was now straining to meet his thrusts, so deep and slow, despite his body still feeling like jello. 

Erwin’s thighs shook as he started to pick up the pace. He kept control, diving as deep as possible and hard as possible into Armin’s petite body. Armin’s hands tangled in his hair, their lips moved against each other only breaking the kiss long enough to draw in air ravenously, tongues tangled like vipers, hot hissing heat escaping their body as they moved together, devouring each other fully. It was short, hot, and heavy and soon they were coming and shuddering together entering into a blissful existence. Erwin’s heavy body weighed on Armin and it was comforting. He loved him lifetimes over.

Erwin sat up, taking in Armin’s wrecked appearance. A curious and nervous look was on his face but Armin couldn’t see, his head to the side and eyes closed, “You want to taste my blood, little vampire?” Armin was still blissed out but he opened and cut his eyes over looking at him, “Are you offering me in serious?” “I am. But, only if I can taste yours too.” Armin’s face scrunched up and Erwin chuckled, “I love that face you make. I love your nose and how cute you bottom lip looks when it trembles. Just say yes, little vampire.” Armin turned his head towards him, “Yes.” Erwin moved to get a knife from their pack. He returned to the bed as Armin sat up, “In the shower.” “The shower?” “I need to cool off and clean up, big daddy. Life isn’t always sexy.” 

They went into the bathroom turning on the water setting it to cool. Armin stepped in and hissed as the water cooled his hot skin. He felt Erwin enter, his fingers teasing the cleft of his ass as Armin laughed, “I can take care of this on my own.” Erwin kissed his shoulder blade quickly, “I know you can.” He hummed, “Do you love me?” Armin started to clean off and wash his hair and body again. He regarded Erwin curiously, “You have no idea how much and I don’t have the words.” Erwin regarded him cautiously, “Would you believe me if I said we’ve known each other forever?” Armin snorted, “I already know that to be true.” He was more than surprised, “You do?” Erwin’s face was curious as Armin looked at him before answering, “I do.” “Then I need to get on top of remembering. It would seem I am behind.” Armin leaned forward pressing a soft kiss to his poppy covered shoulder, “You really should.”

Erwin leaned in making a small cut to Armin’s neck. Armin hummed and then did the same for Erwin, “Did Levi tell you to do this?” “What makes you think that?” “Because you’ve been different since you spoke to him three days ago.” “He did.” “Is this why they didn’t come tonight and stay with us.” “Yeah.” “You realize if we’d not had sex you would have dropped the ball and we wouldn’t be doing this because we’d have been asleep.” “Yeah.” “God, Erwin.” Armin rolled his eyes and Erwin chuckled nervously, “Let’s do it baby, this freaks me out. I’ve denied Levi for years and I can’t believe this is something I’m doing right now.” Armin scoffed, smug look on his face, “I think it’s hot.” “You’re such a freak.” “I know.” 

Erwin and Armin did it and the same familiar spiraling out that happened with Eren and Levi happened. They were lost for a few moments, the cool water running down their backs. Armin pulled back away from Erwin turning the water off. Erwin looked at Armin like he was seeing him for the first time again and his heart pounded like falling in love all over again but a thousand times more. His hand moved to Armin’s face and wiped away silent tears, “I’m sorry,” Armin’s voice cracked, “I didn’t mean to cry but that’s more than what I was aware of.” Erwin felt like his voice was magnified, like it was the sweetest music ever made, “Armin,” he breathed, “I’m just glad to be with you. I just want to be with you, always, anywhere.” Armin smiled sadly, “Even at the end of the world.” Erwin whispered back, “Even at the end of the world.”


	78. 1935-1943

He stood in the corner of the room while the others spoke. He wore his nicest clothes and he’d taken a bath at a clients. His hair was getting longer; he braided it to the side. Nail tips painted white and glossy from the over coat. He hated wearing drab men’s clothes but here outlandish wasn’t that accepted. The party was for a friend’s husband and he had been surprised when he was invited, he didn’t really have many friends and who wanted someone like him at a part? They seemed to be doing very well for themselves, despite the lack of cheese or other confections as Armin arrived and stood before the table noticing. Times were hard but, don’t throw a fucking party without something for your guests to nosh on. 

Their friend, Petra, lived in a nice furnished apartment now with a husband whose work involved accounting if he’d hear correctly. Her husband was turning 28 and that was old in his opinion. At 15 he was grown. He had lived a thousand lives and all of them were shit. His parents were confused creatures who’d done him more harm than good. He’d grown up forced to live as a Lutheran to the outside world, despite his mother and father both being ethnically Jewish and somewhat observant. He spent his time with them and the other fake Lutherans being remindedof that. He’d run away at 10, their rules to strict, their lives to complicated. His mother died. His father occasionally tried to contact him. He tried to tempt him to come back to the community, to marry a nice girl and let go of his identity. They were poor but the girl wasn’t and nor was her family. Armin would rather continue to drink sewer water and sleep with men for money than pretend to be someone else. Wasn’t that the same as dying? Honestly, right now, Armin just wanted something to fucking eat. 

The other guests looked at him and some devoured him with greedy glances. They were rough men and some he could tell worked in the mafia. He wore nice fitted chocolate brown trousers, a sky blue button up, and the matching vest. His shoes were shined but it was the other little things like the small pearl earnings that a recently deceased client left him made it clear he wasn’t all that he appeared. His nails were feminine and painted, hands should be rough from labor but he put lotion them often so they were soft. He also had a family ring on, the only thing that he’d ever had or been able to keep while living on the streets. It was a gold [band](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/43/a3/c6/43a3c6ff00b5e287f080a34e96fabaf7.jpg) with diamonds and aquamarine stone. The ring had been passed down for ages and ages and was his birthright, whatever the fuck that meant. It was his favorite thing, a last reminder of a grandfather that he loved dearly and who wasn’t as messed up as his parents were. He’d done things he wasn’t proud of to keep it. But, he felt like it was important and because he had nothing in his life. He’d keep this even if it meant his death.

They all crowded around after another thirty minutes of pleasantries lifting their glasses to sing happy birthday. It was a nice party, a few more rough characters made their way over for small talk. Finally, Petra came over, “Guess what? I’m pregnant.” “Oh?” “Yep. Can you believe it?” “No, not really.” “Eld is absolutely thrilled. I can’t believe my life right now: From maid in a whore house to wife on Friedrichstrasse.” “I am very jealous.” “Well, anyone here suit your fancy?” “No, I don’t really have time to have sex for pleasure or to deal with a jealous man.” “Armin! You have to live a little.” “Must I?” “Yes!” Petra and Armin continued to speak until a general hush fell over the room. The door opened and in walked a man, eyes blue, clad in leather, and boots clicking. He sucked all the air out and everyone bowed slightly to his presence.

He was clearly a man of power and looking at him made him feel weak. Armin’s throat had a lump in it. His body was hot all over as he watched him congratulate Eld. Petra sighed fondly, “That’s Eld’s boss. He’s such a great guy. Shy, but really great.” She sashayed over to them while Armin picked the top off a strawberry, food was his real passion and it didn’t get jealous

After a few moments of eating and looking out of the window he felt someone near him. “Armin.” Armin’s body shuddered at the sound of his name on the lips of whoever that was. He turned around to the face of the man who’d just walked in, “I’m Levi.” He smirked at Armin and Armin felt himself smirk, “Pleasure.” Levi held out his hand and Armin extended his to shake it. But, Levi merely took it and placed a kiss on the back. Armin’s eyes widened, “Aren’t we forward?” Levi didn’t let go before speaking again, “There’s not enough food here.” Armin smiled wickedly, “No, there isn’t.” “Would you like to go get something to nosh on?” Armin’s eye lit up delightfully, “A nosh” his voice seductive and alluring, “is exactly what I could use.” Levi appraised him, small smug smirk at the corner of his lips as he tilted his head to the side. “I could too.”

Armin ate his kurrywurst slowly, keenly away of Levi’s eyes on him, “You don’t normally wear men’s clothes, do you?” Armin wiped his mouth delicately, coyly, “They’re not my favorite,” he batted his lashes, “I like dresses and furs, heels and stockings, lipstick and jewelry.” Levi nodded, “Women’s clothes are much more decadent. I feel most comfortable in leather and boots.” “It suits you, truly.” Levi’s chest moved as he breathed and Armin watched it rise and fall, muscles taunt under the white button up, “Are you Jewish?” Levi said quietly, “Why?” “I am.” “I know.” “How?” “Nosh.” Levi chuckled, “So you are, too. Good.” “Why?” “Because I always promised my mother I’d marry a nice Jew.” 

Armin quirked an eyebrow, lips stretched into a smile, “You’re going to marry me?” “Yes.” “How do you know? You might not be able to afford me.” “I’ll make it work.” “What do you do, Mr. Ackermann?” “I’m a local mafiso. I am also a part of the Edelweiss pirates. Eld is my accountant and sometimes he flexes his muscles. What do you do?” Armin kept eye contact, this was a make or break moment, “I’m a prostitute.” Levi’s eye twitched but his face stayed stoic. “I was, too, when I was younger. I was a street urchin.” “So was I.” “My parents are dead.” “My mother is. My father is alive but as good as dead to me. He’s got cirrhosis of the liver. A drunk with a heavy hand and isn’t long for the world.” “My mother was a whore, my father was her pimp.” “What a love story.” “It was.” Levi leaned back drinking his beer as Armin finished eating. He was seldom full and having a hot meal was even more luxurious.

Levi leaned forward, “Where do you live?” “I stay at the shelter when there is space.” “How do you stay clean?” “I make my clients let me bathe. I make it a show sometimes but mostly I just really hate bad hygiene.” “Do you like your work?” “Who would like this work?” “Point taken.” “I really like sex but not as a job. It sort of kills it as a job.” “Do you have a boyfriend?” “It wouldn’t be wise.” “Then, how about I set you up with a real job?” Armin’s eyes were playful, “Oh, where?” “The cabaret.” “The cabaret? You wouldn’t be so cruel as to tease a boy would you?” “No, I wouldn’t tease you like that. I’ll get you a job there. Can you dance? Perform?” “I can do anything to survive.” “That’s exactly what I was thinking you’d say.” “But, why?” “Why would I set you up?” “Yes?” “So you can date me.” “Ha! I knew there must be a catch.” Levi leaned forward, face stoic, “In all seriousness, I’ll get you the job regardless if you like me or not. You shouldn’t be working the streets and living in a shelter. It’s time you stop working so hard.” Armin was taken aback and he bit the inside of cheek before pressin his tongue to it, pushing at the flesh, his lips parted and coyly he replied, “Things like that,” he stressed the syllables, “don’t come cheap even if you say they do.” Levi raised an eyebrow, unfazed, “I do what I say.” Armin leaned back, a soft inflected statement, “I bet you do.” Armin smirked wickedly as Levi’s eyes held his own like a predator.

Levi had him against the brick wall of the alley near the cabaret. His face pressed against the rough surface and he didn’t care a bit. He’d got him the job and as they walked out Armin couldn’t deny that he was dying to see what kind of lay he would be, therefore, he’d turned around pulling at the leather edges of his jacket and into the alley they went. Definitely, this was one of his best ideas because Levi was a god.

His hands were strong and they moved with purpose, teasing him, pleasuring him, and they made him submit. His cock ached but Levi held it just right, stimulating it with every thrust inside of him. Oh how he moved, those hips that piston with precision, that tongue that moved inside of his mouth curling and circling like free hand that would travel up and down under his shirt to pinch his sensitive nipples. They were on fire with one another and he’d never felt that before, ever. He’d rarely had someone make him feel so good and in such a seedy place. He came with his name on his lips and that night over and over again in his apartment. Armin had finally found peace thanks to Levi Ackermann.

*******************

A very bright and diplomatic voice cut through the chatter, “Nice to see you again, Levi.” The people lined the ring waiting for the match as Irven Schmidt went under the ropes to meet him. “Shut the fuck up, Spießer. (Bourgeoisies)” Irven smiled and it was blinding, “I’m always delighted by out matches, my little Edelweiss pirat.” Levi huffed, stretching before he let himself head to the middle. Irven and he had been fighting each other since kids. They’d always been ships passing in the night, meeting at the docks every few months for supplies. He’d heard that Irven was getting more and more powerful. What shit luck for him. It didn’t matter. In here, they were equals. 

Irven smiled politely. His money kept him always a step ahead, “I won’t be fighting today, Levi.” Levi sneered, _damn it._ Levi appraised him cockily, voice sarcastic, “Pity, it would be so nice to punch right through that pretty face. Why are you here if you’re not going to fight?” Irven nicked his head over, “He’s gunna fight today.” A boy with striking green eyes entered the ring. Levi’s breath was caught in his throat, he felt himself go weak in the knees at the sight of that messy brown hair and pouty lip. He hissed, “He’s a fucking child.” Erwin shrugged, “We all are.” Levi dead panned, “We’re pretty old, shithead.” Erwin chuckled, “He’s got promise. If you do this, if you let him win, I’ll pay big. It can also be one of those mitzvoth you have to do.” 

Levi was beyond shocked, “Let. Him. Win.?” He said each word with emphasis, disbelief. Irven nodded, “Yes, I know. I know. But, if he wins he gets a scholarship.” “Where?” “To the military school. It’s important Levi. He wants it. His father is missing, mother died recently.” “How?” “Fell through the floor in a barn. Hit the mortar in the basement, killed instantly. She was filling in for a friend. It’s tragic.” Levi looked at the shy boy who seemed to have had rough go recently.

When the ref appeared Levi continued to stare. Irven’s voice pierced his concentration, “What do you say?” Levi allowed himself to enjoy the pretty sight of those long tan legs, but, only for a moment. He was a taken man after all, “I’ll do it. But, not a word of this to anyone.” “Payment?” Levi threw out a large sum, “1000 marks.” Erwin clapped his hands together smiling, “Done.” Levi was disgusted, “You’re made of fucking money.” “I am and it was a pleasure doing business with you. By the way, we haven’t fucked lately.” “I hate you.” “I know, I know our love is unique….but still?” “I’m with someone.” Erwin’s eyes lit up, “Ahhh well,” he turned to walk off, “don’t let me find out who they are.” He slipped under the ropes locking eyes with him again, “Because, I’ll kill them.”He winked jumping to the side. Levi shivered, _You really would._ “You don’t own me.” “One day I will. Till then, my sweet demon.” Levi had always hated Irven Schmidt, the boy who thought he owned the world.

**************

”Do you like that.” His voice was low and rough; chest pressed against the other’s back, hands holding the hip still with a strong amount of force. “Mhmmm,” a small whine of approval escaped the other’s mouth as the other stroked the wet flesh quicker, hips moving, in and out, in and out, in and out. The pillows fell on the floor, landing with heavy thuds. “I love you,” a heavy whisper against the soft skin of the other’s neck as their bodies moved in tandem, “I love you so much, mami.” Their bodies shuddered against one another, going slack suddenly with moans and groans, the silky peach colored sheets sticking to their skin that was covered in sweat. The heavy drapes and smoky air added to the moment. It wasn’t seedy, it was sensual and intimate.

Edith Piaf played on the record player in the corner as they both calmed down. Lips brushed against the shoulder, “Work is in two hours.” “I’ve got a job and a match tomorrow.” “So, you’ll stay here and sleep?” “I’ll go to work with you.” “So you can keep an eye out? I don’t’ go home with anyone, I don’t sleep with anyone.” “I know.” “So, then why come?” “The police are out, mami.” “Oh, well,” Armin twisted around to kiss him and face him, “some come to see us.” “Exactly. I want to be there.” “Then I’ll make sure to use you to get more money.” “I’m fine with that.” “Bet you are, Velvel. Bet,” he kissed him, “you,” another kiss deeper, “are,” a whisper against his lips that made Levi growl and gather him closer.

The cabaret was full that night as they made their way through the back. Levi could be there since the others knew they were basically married. It been a long time since they met and he got him this gig. It didn’t matter to the other performers if they were together or not, ultimately; because he took care of them when they had trouble with guests, or the government. His gang kept them in business when it came to funds after the government started hitting them with taxation and raids. Those in power said they were a den of sin that corrupted the pure family values of the Reich but they couldn’t deny that they had their brown and black shirt selves in almost every show. Their marks fed them all, kept their rouge red, and their stockings without holes. 

Every night the shows got better and bigger with suits from all walks of life. The hungrier they were, the more the news reels feed them. War, it was a profit machine. War, it was a sultry thing. War, made virgins quiver to be held. War made sex instead of love sell. He brushed his hair, lips stained red, black lingerie on. He’d gone from the gutters to an apartment with an ice chest and rod iron bed. He’d gone from low ally prostitute to paid professional actor and dancer, all thanks to determination, luck, and his resourceful black leather clad lover. Both men had suffered the cruelty of the era. Weimar was decadence and even fools knew that nothing good can stay. Here they were, in the last years of it, listening to the death rattle begin.

Armin moved on the floor, eyes wide and lips pouty. He wasn’t one that worked for tips, his wage enough to cover half their costs and sometimes a little gift for Levi here and there. Levi sat in the back, an old friend engaged him in conversation. David was charming and beautiful. He had a wife, she was young, capable, and powerful. Armin had seen a picture of her and thought she was the most beautiful woman to have ever existed. He’d wanted to meet her for some time but since Jews were being targeted David kept her safely hidden away. David had barely escaped being sent to Dachau. Armin felt the familiar grip of fear tug at his heart. Levi, David, Mikasa, and he…they were all going to die if the state had their way. And for what? Because they were Jews? That doesn’t make sense.

Armin caught a glimpse of a young boy; green shining eyes, and drink in his hand. He approached, “What’s your name?” “Eren.” “That’s a nice name.” “I don’t have a lot of money.” “That’s fine.” “I’ll buy you a drink if you’ll be normal and just friendly.” “I can’t say no to that.” Armin sat and had his drink with the boy. He found him to be very amusing and very likable. They really had this friendly connection and a little flirtatious streak but it was nice, refreshing.

*************

He started coming more often, they kept talking, and then they started meeting for coffee. Armin felt like for the first time he had a normal friend. One who didn’t have a past of sleeping with people for money or trying to get up in life. He was misguided for sure. He wanted to go into the army, fight for the cause. The cause was killing his people but he didn’t say anything. Why would he? He’d been raised Lutheran. He should just embrace that, right? May start going to church and see what all the fuss was about with this Jesus guy. But, his blood, his blood called out differently. “I don’t actually think that there is anything wrong with Jews.” Eren blurted out immediately covering his mouth.

Armin shrugged one dramatic time, voice betraying nothing, “I don’t either.” Eren looked up shyly, “Y-you don’t?” “Are you gay, Eren?” Eren paused, “Yes, I suppose I am.” Armin gave him a wicked look, “You suppose? Are you saying you are not sure or that you could change that?” “No, I am. It’s just sometimes hard to say out loud because of others.” Armin nodded, “That’s what it’s like to be a Jew, ethnically speaking.” “What do you mean?” “There are three types of Jews, Eren: religious and ethnic, ethnic, and religious. Those who are ethnic don’t even have to be in the religion. That can’t change it, Eren. It’s like, you being gay. So, are you saying that this makes them guilty enough to be murdered? Are gays so dangerous that the state can murder them and ship them off to die horrible deaths? Oh wait…they are. I guess gays, Jews, communists…I guess they’re all that terrible that they deserve to die.” “No.” He looked around, “No, I don’t think that. Thank you, Armin. You are so smart. A regular Uni graduate.” Armin barked a laugh, “With skills like mine they’d never let me in a lecture room.” Eren smiled, “Thank you for being my friend.” Armin’s heart warmed, “Thank you for calling me friend.”

**********

His hands were bigger than Levi’s and they touched him like they owned him, deserved to touch him, were made to hold him. “You need money?” His voice was low, deep in his chest, “I have that.” Armin twisted his face upwards, flirty look on it despite the fact he’d been left in a bind with Levi unable to work. Levi was a few cities over lying low after a job gone wrong. The bills were piling up and they discussed him taking on a private client if it was right. Armin suggested it and Levi was very opposed. He reluctantly agreed to “if it feels right.” This felt right.

“How do you know? You come here often and think you know me?” _Don’t show your hand too much._ The man smirked and it was very _appealing._ Much like when Levi had first smirked at him at that small house party three years ago, a day that changed his life for the better. Why did this feel so similar? His voice was sensual and flirty, it sounded beautiful, “Because, you’re never on the floor, Katzchen. (Kitty) You’re always on the stage or on the professional side dance floor. You don’t work for tips, not with a face like that. So, I must assume you are in need of another form of _income._ ” 

Armin bit his lip, the dark cabaret’s low lights made their corner of shadow even more personal and secluded. Armin and Levi had discussed it, this man had nice clothes, he had money and others could vouche for it, he had manners, he’d never taken anyone home, he’d never got in to a fight or argument here, he seemed like a clean man and Armin was drawn to him. He pounced.

His voice babyish and playful, “Perhaps I am?” He pushed the man down in the seat against the wall, straddling him. He stroked his face, ran his fingers through his clean hair. He smelled like French cologne and his clothes were freshly laundered. Levi ran a tight ship, they both did. Personal cleanliness was next to godliness and they were deities in their home. Those large hands cupped his firm buttocks and they rubbed up and down his lace covered thighs, pulling at the garters and straps till they came to squeeze on his small trim waist, his breath caught in his chest at the man’s raw power and sexuality, “What do you need, Katzchen?” It was a purr, much like when Levi called him mami. Armin leaned closer, “A daddy.” “A daddy?” “Ja, a daddy. You know, a good man with money who’ll take care of my needs. I don’t need much and I’ll pay out each time in three fold.” 

The man nodded, mischievous glint in his eye, “And if I’m your daddy, will you keep my secrets?” Armin smiled, “Of course, loose lips sink ships, das sagen die Amerikaner. (The Americans say that.)” He leaned in closer nose brushing slightly against the man’s. He admired his eye lashes, long and thick. This perfect Aryan before him and he himself another version of the purity of the superior race. They were perfect ideals of the Reich. If only this man knew. If only this man knew he was going to bed a Jew. _Only Levi knew. Only he knows who I really am._ “Deal. You can be my baby, my Katzchen. Now,” his hands went through his hair softly, “Let me take you somewhere fitting of your station.” The man made to move but Armin pushed him back down, he was afraid, “My station is a back room or bathroom.” The man tisked shaking his head, “That’s simply not true and you know it.” Armin was intrigued, his mouth formed and O and the man stroked his thumb over his bottom lip, “You know inside you deserve finer things. Come, how much do you make in tips a night?” 

Armin appraised him, “I make 120 mark.” He smiled shaking his head, “You kiss your mother with that sweet lying mouth?” “My mother’s dead.” “Oh, my apologies. But, you don’t make that much.” “Why not?” “It’s much too little. You make about 300 mark from what I’ve seen.” Armin cocked his head to the side, eyes narrowed, voice reproachful, “You’re cheeky.” “I’ll give you 600 mark for your company tonight.” Armin couldn’t turn 300 extra down. He was the highest earner but they had debt. They had others they took care of in the underground and from the streets. The orphanage was their main donation. Levi wanted to try and give others a better chance. Armin did too and he admired his lover’s heart. “Okay. I just need to get my things.” The man smiled picking him up like a rag doll, “Allow me to carry you through the crowd.” And to his dressing room he carried him where Armin surprisingly was treated to a nice hang job and chocolate bar. He found it humorous and it peaked his interest for what was to come.

After he got his things and was escorted outside, he was greeted to sight of a new Mercedes, shiny and black, top down despite the slight chill in the air. He put Armin inside and drove them to a nice hotel where he had them put up in the penthouse with champagne and fruit, rarities in Germany at the time with rations still affecting the daily lives of the people and Armin was more delighted by that than the gold forks and knives provided to eat with. When you’re poor you’re hungry. “You really like your food.” The man chuckled as Armin turned around, fruit in his hand. His lips covered the strawberry slowly before he bit off a bite, “Erst kommt das Fressen, dann kommt die Moral.” (First comes food and then morals.) The man was momentarily shocked, someone like this really got his blood pumping.

Armin slinked through the room, black beaded flapper sheath dress reflecting light from the chandelier, hair combed and curled, and black pumps clicking on the marble floor. “Do you always dress like a woman?” Armin turned around, “Do you dislike it?” “No, I find it very fitting. I’d like to see you in more traditional clothes later for comparison.” “I love to dress this way. Do I pass?” Armin’s smile was sweet and curious, like a fox he thought. “For a woman?” “Yes?” “You certainly do. You’re much more attractive than the girls we passed down stairs.” He smirked dashingly crossing the floor, “What’s your name, Katzchen?” Armin quipped, “Aria.” The man shook his head, “That’s your stage name and something you sing. What’s your real name?” Armin gasped as he lifted him suddenly, his hands roamed him with prowess that made his breath hitch in his chest.

He leaned in to kiss him as Armin turned away, “Katzchen, don’t be so shy.” He walked them over to the windows, “What’s your name?” Armin wanted to tell him but it might not be safe to do so, “It’s starts with A.” The man kissed his neck sweetly, “Adam?” “No.” He kissed it again, “Axel?” “No.” Another soft sweet kiss, “Andreas?” “No.” His hand made it into his hair pulling it to the side to expose more of his neck, “Armin?” Armin shuddered at the sound of his voice around his name, “Ha, from the feel of your body we have a winner.” Armin faced him, “What’s your name?” He smiled fully, smug and proud, “Irven.” “Irven?” “Yes.” “It suits you.” They locked eyes, lips close to each other, and low music of the Biergarten coming in through the windows. Irven kissed him passionately, walking them into the bedroom.

The next morning Armin woke to roses and fresh clothes, “These are nice.” He held up the new stockings and green patent leather pumps, “Did you call for these this morning?” Irven sat in a wooden chair near the window in the corner shirtless, black slacks pulled on hastily with his suspenders at the way side. He lit a cigarette, blowing the smoke out of his nose, his hair messy, eyes shining, “I did.” “What do you do for work?” “I’m an officer.” “Oh.” “Does that scare you?” “No.” “Why?” “Why should it?” “Don’t you worry I could be too rough? Dangerous? Perhaps, I could take your life?” Armin slipped on the silk stockings, “No. I fear no one. I am who one should fear. You cannot fathom my power.” 

He chuckled, “I must be a fool then. I have clearly been enticed by a valkyrie.” Armin stood before him, clad only in the stockings and heels, “I suppose I should go home now. I thank you.” Irven put the cigarette down, “200 marks for lunch?” Armin looked unsure, “Lunch seems costly.” Irven stood up, “Then 150?” “I didn’t say no to 200.” Irven smiled truly, “Oh, feisty Katzchen! Lunch and then I’ll take you home. I should see what my money will going towards.” Armin’s internal alarm went off, “I don’t live alone.” Irven was in the bathroom changing, “That’s fine.” “I would like them to not know of…what I do.” Irven reappeared, “Oh, I understand. I will make sure to be discrete and to act at all time with discretion.” Armin relaxed slightly, “Thank you.”

***************

The restaurant was full of the rich and influential. A man played on the piano, Chopin. It was forbidden but here, they were so pure that they could afford a lapse in judgment. The door read, “Juden Sind Verboten.” (Jews are forbidden.) Irven straightened his collar, his suit black with an olive green dress shirt underneath, tie black and thin making his shoulder even broader. He was an Adonis and Armin felt immense guilt gazing upon him like he was. He kept thinking of Levi, where he was, what he was doing, what he’d look like in clothes like that. Levi’s lips, Levi’s fingers as they touched him. Irven broke the comfortable silence, “Do you have a hobby?” “No.” Armin turned his head away. Irven knew he did, he was just not going to say. He decided to get to know this Armin a little better. 

Inside of Armin’s apartment Irven realized he was way more than he ever appeared. It was spotless, decadent, and comfortable. It smelled like fresh linen and he saw that everything had a place and it was in it. Armin changed into more comfortable clothes, “When will your roommate return?” “Soon.” Armin missed Levi terribly but Irven didn’t need to know that. Instead, Irven just heard him and realized he loved this boy’s voice. His voice was soft, cute, clipped, and fragile. It was like a reed whistling on the shores in Africa. He’d spent a summer hunting there and he thought about how Armin reminded him of the leopard that waited in the trees. It would pounce down, stalk, and then carry its kill back into the trees. It knew its strengths and weaknesses and protected itself. Irven was very fond of the feline before him, with its shiny golden coat and expressive sapphire eyes.

He’d noticed the collection of books, “These are damaged.” Armin’s eyes widened, “They should be tossed out.”Irven looked at him curiously, “One should never toss out a book.” “They are forbidden. I cannot burn them. I should have.” It pained Armin to say those things but he had to. Irven seemed to think to himself looking at each spin closely. “Shall we have coffee?” “I have tea.” “Really?” “Yes, we drink tea here. We can’t afford both so we drink tea.” “You have debts?” “Yes.” Irven nodded walking towards him, “Tea sounds lovely. I’ll be sure to make it quick. From now on, I’ll send a car for you and we’ll meet at hotels or maybe later my home.” *********** 

Armin heard the phone ring, “Hallo?” “Mami?” “Levi, oh God, to hear your voice.” “I miss you.” “I miss you.” “I think things will be better soon.” “Why?” “Befor we were caught by the military police, we struck up another alliance with the guys who killed the Vogels.” “You mean, the guys who killed them in order to force you to work with them?” “Yes, mami, you are so beautiful. Have I told you how beautiful you are? I keep your picture in my suitcase and it doesn’t do you justice.” “Yeah, yeah, tell me more.” Levi didn’t want to tell him that this new alliance was actually stuck up with a man who was his natural enemy, fuck buddy, and briefly his childhood friend till he had to take to the streets full time, “Well their leader and I came to an understanding. Basically, if we do jobs with them they’ll let us keep dropping goods off for David and them.” “Oh, that’s actually really great.”

“How is everything with you?” “Well, it’s been about a month since I started working with that one client and we’ve really cut down on the debt. The orphanage is doing better and I’ve been getting ready for you to come home by getting new sheets and buying better cleaning supplies. I just…I just want to feel you again Levi. I want you to hold me.” Armin started to cry. “When I get back, mami, I’m going to marry you.” Armin laughed, wiping his tears away. Levi was a serious man but that was just laughable, “Ha, our lovely Führer would not suffer a pair of homosexuals to marry.” “Well, we don’t have to do it publically. We can do it with the others at the club” “We can’t do it at the club, with the others. It’s a no-go.” “Why?” “They shut us down, Velvel.” A long moment of silence and then the sound of Levi punching a wall made him jump.

“Where does the other leader live?” Armin tried to change the conversation and Levi sighed out slowly, “Same city as us.” “Convenient.” “Very.” “So, more long nights and danger?” “Always.” “It wouldn’t be wise to cut off my client.” “I….know but it bothers me, mami. He touches you, thinks he’s got you. I want to touch you. I got you out of that and what if you decide you don’t want me anymore? I hate it.” “I know. I don’t really like it either.” _That was a little bit of a lie. It wasn’t that bad and he did like his time with Irven and that confused him. He had started to fall for this man who seemed to understand him even more than his Levi. His beautiful Levi._

Levi’s voice was commanding, “Then keep it professional and soon we’ll be debt free and okay. Bleed him dry. What do we care? Just promise me something.” Armin knew he was right, “What?” “Never tell him you love him.” It made Armin feel this pain but he didn’t want to tell this man he loved him. He loved Levi. This was clear and he agreed. “Okay, I promise.” “I love you, Armin.” “I love you, too. Levi, come home soon. Our anniversary is coming up.” “Mmmmm better get my mami something nice.” “Like?” “It’s a surprise.” “Okay, aufwiederholen, mein Schatz.” “Aufwiederholen, mami.”

The door bell rang and he walked to let the caller in pushing the button. After a while, a knock at the door called him back over. Irven Schmidt stood before him, white work out t-shirt on with the black swastika in the middle, red shorts, and black tennis shoes on. “I had drill.” His body was covered in sweat and Armin could taste him right there in his mouth. “I can see.” Is all he said and Irven smiled smugly, “I have something for you.” “What?” He smirked wickedly, “I know what your hobby is.” “And that is?” “Books.” Armin was silenced. Irven stepped forward and following him was a man with a huge trunk, “Pick the ones you want, Katzchen.” The trunk was opened and Armin gasped, “These are…” “Verboten, yes. Some are. I brought coffee, too. You seem like a coffee drinker.” Armin smiled, “Danke,” he demurred quietly touching the books with the tips of his fingers. Irven Schmidt knew how to woo him. That thought made him sad. “100 mark if you read to me.” “Just read?” “Yes,” Irven held eye contact with him, “I want more from you than your body.” Armin shuddered.  
**********

“Your mother was a Jew.” Levi’s voice croaked as he spoke; gag having only been just removed after hours of torture. “My mother was a Jew.” He said smoothly as he stood in the room, late afternoon sun fading in the background. His boots were shined black and his blue uniform looked never worn, “Then how are you not in the back of some truck?” “Because she never left any trace of it. I’m also very, very lucky and _resourceful_.” Levi’s hands were tied behind his back, legs bound with ties to his thighs, his bloody nose ached and the blood dripped on the dark stained wood floor. 

It all started at the match. He had watched Levi’s match 7 months ago, acting as innocent bystander who was merely watching an old friend and sometimes opponent. It never seemed out of the ordinary to Levi as he took to the ring. But that changed when he left to do a job. The night before, he spent it at the cabaret and David had told him that shipments were not getting to them and drop off points would need to be changed. He’d woken up, made love to Armin, ate, headed to the match and then he was going to kill the rival gang that threatened David’s underground missions. It was all very simple. He would seize a warehouse, kill another rival gang, and meet a drop off for the underground where his friend would pass them along to other resistance fighters. Then, before it could even begin, Irven ruined it all. 

First, Irven took on the other gang and killed them off taking the turf Levi wanted. Second, he called the military police in and forced Levi to flee to another city. Thirdly, while he was waiting for the heat to lay off, he took advantage of the fact Levi was in a weak place and he forced him to enter into a partnership with him in exchange for the supplies making it on time every week to the drop off point. He’d always wanted to find a way to finally trap Levi Ackermann in to his life.

Levi and he had boxed often in their youth. They had been childhood friends till Levi’s family life fell apart after his mother passed. Orphaned and kicked out of the whore house he had to fight to live at the age eight. Irven had persistently found a way to stay in contact with the Dreck (filth) his family referred to him as, even going so far as to start his own gang to do it. Like their verbal and mental matches, their physical matches were intense and a winner seldom came out without a broken rib or black eye. There was just something about Levi specifically that Irven was drawn to and the same could be said of Levi, though he was loathe to admit it. They were fire and benzin. Levi burned all the hotter when he was around.

Now he was going to be forced in to joining him in France in war and he could do nothing about it. Both gangs were finished due to the government’s crackdown and that left Levi without money, no back up, and no resources. Erwin’s top gang member, Mike and Hanji had cornered him in the sewers and brought him here. He was embarrassed, shamed, alone, and he just wanted to know when life would stop being so hard.

Levi and Erwin understood each other; they always stayed out of each other’s traps by being aware and focused. However, Levi had been focusing so much on Armin lately that he’d never saw this betrayal coming. He’d been riddled with jealously lately. All the time Armin spent with his client weighed on him and he’d been looking for work but two Jews in hiding made it too risky.

The cabaret was closed. This client was the only thing keeping them afloat. False papers weren’t cheap and David and Mikasa were doing their best but they’d recently moved to Denmark to help build up their own future resistance group and aid Flame and Citron of the Danish resistance till they were strong enough to leave. Ghettos and deportations were what kept Levi up at night. He’d die if he knew Armin was taken. He spent time with this friend of his but it made Levi anxious. At night sometimes he found him thinking of shameful things when Armin was asleep, what would life be like in the ghetto for them, should they go into one and just wait it out, what was the boy whose beautiful eyes doing at the military school, was he getting better looking and was his form improving, what if he had Armin sent off through the underground to live in Sweden and away from him, would that be better? Levi was weak right now. He hated himself for it but he could not question nor fathom God’s will.

Irven dropped to his knees taking his face in his hands, “Join me as my right hand. I need someone like you to help me.” Levi spit on him, “You mean, I want you right where I can see you. You want to own me.” Irven wiped his face and the spit away with his handkerchief, “Yes, I want to own you. I like to own the things I enjoy, because if I own them, if they are mine, then I can keep them safe.” Levi’s mind flashed back Armin, “I have obligations.” “That you can keep.” “How do you know?” “Because he’s important to us both.” Those words hit Levi right in the stomach, “It’s you.” “Yes. I won’t say I’m sorry.” “He doesn’t love you.” Irven stepped back up and turned away towards the window, “Let’s just get through the war without anyone shipping you off to a camp, okay? I take care of him, you take care of him, what’s not to like?” 

”I don’t share!” He spat out causing Irven to turn on his heel, voice booming and menacing, “You do now! You do and you will. Times are hard here, Levi.” He walked forward, ripping Levi’s face up and head back. His hands yanking at the roots of his hair “I love you, my little Edelweiss pirate. Maybe not as much as I love him but I do and he wants you to live and I want you to live so you’re going to fucking live and when it’s over, when all the Jews are dead and all the world is under one flag, then you’ll thank me for letting you live and protecting him. You’ll thank me for my friendship.” “If you were my friend you wouldn’t have slept with him.” “I had no idea you were together. You were gone, lying low, and he had bills to pay.” “I WAS FORCED TO BECAUSE OF YOU! You slept with him, the love of my life!” “Well he’s not the love of just your life anymore. We were meant to have ended up this way. But at first, it was an exchange of payment for goods and services. How is that different from you and me when we would sleep together in the old days? It was a part of the job. Then it became something else entirely. He fell in love with me.” 

Levi cackled, “Oh, okay.” Levi knew Armin must be playing him. They were both street urchin born into shit households with few resources. He’d sold himself. That was Levi’s fault for almost getting caught on a job. He’d picked a high ranking officer with deep pockets. Good choice. It was, however, bad luck for Levi since this wasn’t some random officer he could kill. This was Irven and he and Levi had been back and forth for a year now with small brushes, crossing revenue, and if this is what he was calling friendship then there was that, too. Though, apparently friendship meant working a few hard jobs, getting drunk and hate fucking a few times that left him riddled with guilt, and then finding out that one member of said friendship was now actively blackmailing him into assisting in a war that was killing his people and could possibly kill his Jewish cabaret homosexual lover. _Ha, yeah, life is rich._

Irven stepped forward, “You so sure you’re meant to be? I saw how you looked at Eren Jaeger, the boy you helped get a scholarship. I know that look. It’s the one I saw reflected in the shinny glass behind the bar at the cabaret when I saw Armin.” “Go fuck yourself.” “I’ve got someone for that.” “FUCK YOU.” “What do you say, Levi? What do you say to my deal?” “I have no choice but to agree. Let me go see him now and enjoy the time I have left before I leave.” “I’ll go with you.” “No,” he hissed, “you’ve done enough. You’ve had him, clothed him, fed him, and slept with him. I deserve him to myself. He’s mine.” Irven looked like he pitied him, “Okay, you’re only prolonging the inevitable and I say that not to hurt you because I don’t want to hurt you, Lee. It’s just the hard truth. But, do what you want. You’re a free man till I call you.” He left and Nile appeared cutting away his ties. Levi made it home where Armin held him as he cried and he told him everything. Armin wondered if life was always this hard. Then he remembered the simple fact that he’d always have pop back in his head each time life fucked him over: _It is because I am a Jew._

******************

Levi rolled off the bunk, “I hate sleeping with you.” He said without any real heat behind it. Irven lit a cigarette, “Well, we’ve got to all find some way to remain sane and let off aggression.” Levi tisked, “I just want to be with Armin.” Irven nodded and the silence returned until Irven leaned over, fingertips traveling up and down Levi’s spin, “Will you ever just stop hating me?” They’d been on the front almost a year and things were slowly but effectively driving Levi insane. Irven had lost his mind, too. He was becoming less sure of the cause, becoming more critical of eugenics, he started to believe in these fanatical conspiracies about a family controlling the world, something that amused Levi but made him pity him as well. They’d developed and even closer relationship out here, an understanding. Armin wrote them both but he could tell that Armin’s letters to Irven were a bit more sentimental. Irven’s were better, he was more educated than Levi and he could spin stories with his writing.

It made him sick, it hurt, it killed him to think that Armin was actually in love with them both or Irven at all. Why wasn’t he enough? Why was he never enough? They’d stood at the edge of Babi Yar, looking down at those bodies, over 38,000 in two days. Levi had killed so many of his own and every day Irven would come to him more and more often, with a bottle of schnapps and soothing words. Irven told him he worried about him, about how cruel he’d become. Levi turned around on the bunk, “I,” Levi put his hand on the flimsy make shift pillow, “never really hated you, Irven.” He stood up throwing the pillow on Irven’s face as he put his clothes on and left. Irven laid on the bed and wept.

He decided to let it go, let the hate for Irven go and to just think about Armin, a future without war, it was doomed, this war. It was doomed because it couldn’t actually succeed, not when you were killing people like this for no reason and across borders in sovereign territories. The troops he was currently over and in charge of were misfits. He kind of liked that but then there was him, Eren fucking Jaeger. 

He wanted to punch that little shit in face. He was stuck up his ass, lived in his ass more like it. If Levi so much as clicked his heel by accident he’d come running, “What can I do for you captain? What are you in need of? Should I get you something? Captain, captain, captain.” Mein Gott, it was so hot but it was so fucking annoying. He was a pleaser, a weak pleasing person who needed validation. Levi didn’t have to fool with Kirschstein or Baader, those secret homosexuals. In fact, he covered for them because, well, they were in love. He wished he was in a similar situation with Armin near him and opportunities to sneak off and share sweet moments. 

Instead, he was here with Irven who was loveable, Gott he couldn’t believe he just admitted that, but also an entitled chosen Aryan officer who actively tried to forget that Levi was Jewish because it repulsed him despite him also being “tainted by the inferior race.” He seemed totally unaware still of Armin, something that pleased Levi because that meant that he still had the better connection with him. It was petty and Levi hated petty shit. Just now, he was almost ready to write a letter to Armin, let him go, let him be with Irven completely. In fact, he really should. That way he’d be secure and safe and Irven would be…dare he say it? Truly happy? Why did he care or even want him to be happy? This guy’s happiness came at his expense. Four years, that’s how long he’d been with Armin. Three alone and the fourth over in the East and shared with Irven. Fuck this was shit. Fuck, this hurt. Fuck, fuck, fuck….

“Captain, I,” _you have got to be fucking kidding me,_ “was wondering if…I built a really good fox hole.” Eren ended bluntly causing Levi to turn around, “What?” Eren stood straighter, look of persistence in his eye, “I built a really good fox hole.” “Eren,” Levi’s voice monotone but exasperated, “look around. Look at all these big ass trees. We don’t need a fox hole right now.” Eren furrowed his brow, “No,” _Oh, damn, my little clicking soldier is standing up for himself, _“We do need them.” “Why?” “Because, what if we’re attacked?” “Who will attack us?” “The Russians.” “We have the line maintained, we’re almost a kilometer behind a secured line and you think they’re somehow going to attack us?” “Yes.” “Mein Gott, bist du bescheuert oder was?!” (My god, are you fucking crazy or what?) “CAPTAIN!” “WHAT!?” Eren fidgeted with his hands, biting his lip causing Levi’s eye to twitch, _the boy has some nice ass lips,_ “You-you u-used “du.”” Levi stared blankly.__

He had used the informal you with Jaeger. God, how he had fucked himself most thoroughly. “Don’t let it go to your head. It was a slip.” Eren nodded but didn’t look away shyly like normally. Levi was intrigued, “Show me your shitty hole.” Eren’s face flushed blood red, “W-w-what-t-t?” Levi stared more, “I don’t mean your asshole, brat. Show me your fox hole.” Eren nodded turning around to walk off into the forest. Levi followed cautiously after him.

Soon they were standing by a very, very well built fox hole. It was reinforced and nearby Jean and Marco lounged in their own, “Hey, Schweine, (Pigs) did you help him make this?” Marco looked up and then Jean stood up dropping Marco from his lap, “N-No Sir!” Eren motioned to the hole, “Would you like to sit in it?” Levi thought that was beyond strange, ”I guess.” He mumbled walking down into the hole. Eren followed quickly behind as Levi sat. He didn’t have any reason to not spend his time here so it wasn’t a big deal. Maybe he should spend more time with the kid?

Last week he’d had a moment where he’d lost himself. He’d been shooting from sun up to sun down, shooting Jews into mass graves for the Einsatzgruppen. A letter from Armin had sent him spinning. His dreams weren’t dreams but rather dramatic scenes of him and his closest peers throughout a myriad of supposed lives. Armin said he’d had them too and even Irven woke with strange words on his tongue that Levi knew because he’d heard them, heard them somewhere he didn’t know he’d been. But, that night last week, as the gun shells littered the earth and the gun fire echoed a girl crawled out from under the bodies and started towards the woods. 

Levi saw her and in a blind murderous rage he took after her, running through the forest knocking away dead limbs of trees in the inky night. She tripped on a branch, brown hair matted from blood, naked and shivering. Lye stained her skin in white chalky designs. He loomed over her, luger out of the holster as he pointed down at her in the face. Her eyes were brown and black in the night. He went to pull the trigger until he was tackled from behind, the gun went off, the girl screamed. 

Levi heard her rush to get up and run away. The body above him was fighting him to make him stay down. He managed to roll over and above him were those two big viridian eyes and he wanted to scream out in anger, in awe from how striking they were against the Slavic winterscape. He punched him right in the mouth but Eren didn’t move. “FICKEN SIE SICH SCHWEIN!” (Go fuck yourself, pig) He growled as Eren’s long legs pinned him down more. He was struggling against Levi’s strength. After a few more minutes wrestling Eren spoke, “I’ll let you up, captain.” When he moved of him Levi scrambled to get up, “Why!?” Eren looked weak again, shy whenever he was directly addressed by Levi, “Because you would have regretted it.”

Levi stared, “How do you know what the fuck I would or would not regret?” Eren flinched, “They can’t help it.” “Help what?!” “That they’re Jews.” He whispered and Levi stared again in silence, “Go on, brat.” “There are….three types of Jews: ethnic, religious, and ethnic and religious. Those who are ethnic don’t even have to be practicing. Do you think that’s fair? They don’t even identify as Jewish.” Levi knew those words, “Who told you this?” Eren’s cheeks were flushed, “It doesn’t matter.” He started off back towards the killing pit as Levi stood, world changed forever. Had he just hunted down a member of his own tribe? This war would destroy something, something so precious with our humanity that once lost we would never recover it or be whole and healed again.

Now he was sitting in a fox hole with the same brat who made him have a break in his own mind and being that was so irrevocable it was fatal. He had a nice smell. Levi had spoke at length about bathing and Eren, like the good little clicking soldier he was, had started taking them as frequently as he could. He’d do anything Levi told him and he didn’t understand why. He looked over seeing that Eren had a letter in his jacket, “A love letter?” Eren jerked, his hand shooting to the letter, “Huh?! Oh! Oh, no! This is from a friend.” Levi rolled his eyes, “Yeah, right.” Eren removed the letter, “N-n-nooo really,” showed him the first part of the letter, “it’s not. I made a friend when they took me on at the school and I was training. He’s so…smart and,” “Beautiful, blond, talented, has a way with words and smart isn’t really the right word is it? He’s intelligent, sly, a words smith.” 

_Herr Armin Arlert, Messerstrasse Wohnung nummer 104 Berlin_ stood out on the paper, “Do, do you know him too?” Levi’s eyes closed, he tried to breathe through his nose, “Yeah, we’re…we live together. Roommates…” Eren’s face was now beet red, “You’re…um” “What are you implying?” “Nothing…” “You should watch your mouth, it runs away from you.” Eren snorted before catching himself, “That could also be said of you when you’re angry, captain.” Levi thought that was amusing, “You’re a secret smartass, Jaeger.” “I am. It’s the cross I bear.” “We should…take a picture for him.” 

Levi didn’t know why he said it but he did. Eren jumped at it, “Yes! That would be great. I’ve sent him photos before and he’d love to see that!” Levi smiled softly and Eren’s widened, “I’ve never seen the captain smile.” They cooked their food in their canteen and Marco came around with a small camera. Eren was excited at the luck and they leaned in for the photo. Levi felt content with Eren and always had save for the undercurrent of sexual tension he felt around the green eyed bambi. 

It was that night when bombs fell from the sky on them that he was more thankful for Eren’s persistent reinforcement of his foxhole than anything. The trees fell on them like long thick grey and white corpses but the hole didn’t give and they were able to be pulled out from under them in the morning. Irven was a wreck and wouldn’t let Levi out of his sight for the next few weeks. Eren however, was all he was looking at.


	79. 1943-1945

”Why are you here?” Armin’s voice was raw and panicked. His father stood before him with men on both sides. Levi and Irven had been gone now almost two years. The letters from Eren and them helped keep the time passing. Mikasa and David occasionally sent packages and he sent him money. Now, he was feeling more threatened than ever with this unexpected presence of men wearing Gestapo badges and Reiss pins.

These pins were simply gold and ruby with the letter R in the middle. They had a center of pearl, very Nazi party in Armin’s opinion though they were heavily in the mix of the political landscape and race legislature. Now they were in his house and for what? “I’ve come to bring you back home, to the Rhine Armin.” Armin shook his head, “Just leave, I’m content here.” “Levi, Irven, Eren, these are people you know?” Armin went still as the other man spoke, “We need you to end contact with them.” “Why?” “Or they’ll have accidents on the front.” “What!?” His father came closer smelling of booze and sat down on Levi’s most hated chair. He said it was filthy and Armin loved it. He’d found it after Kristallnacht and brought it home. It deserved a chance to heal, he’d told him. Now, his father was definitely changing his mind about it’s worth, “You remember the girl you were supposed to marry?” Armin just stared, “What about it?” “She’s still waiting. She’s going to ascend the top position of the family. She’ll be responsible for a lot of people, Armin. She’s also in a situation where there are few prospects for marriage and the council still says you’re the best.” 

“Perhaps they should stop interbreeding or I don’t know go out further than A and B when they are in need of someone? I am not interested.” “Well, maybe if you understood how important it all was you’d change your mind?” “Not likely.” Armin moved closer to the window. He was in the habit of putting a chair before the large window of the living room in case of raids. He would need only to get a running start to jump out the window. Suicide was better than living like this.

“The world once knew peace, Armin. You should remember the story of the walled city from Sunday school. Whoever controls the walled city will know no rest.” Armin nodded, “Jerusalem is a hard place to keep in peace.” “Yes, well….” His father looked over at the men, “We were not talking about Jerusalem.” Armin’s hair stood up all over his body. He didn’t like the tone his voice seemed to take on. It was crazy, calm, cult like. Sedation was a better word. “The world is a place that if left to its own devices will destroy itself. It needs a leader. She will be that leader, Armin. She will be the Queen and she will put the world back into walls.”

Armin’s hip bumped the couch as his internal meter for danger sprung into red. He turned to run, he needed to die. He didn’t want to die, but something told him it was the only other option. Large hands grabbed him, both men lifted him as he fought them, he was put on the couch and his father loomed over him, surgeon’s needle with blood in it ready, “This will only hurt for a second.”

**************

Levi finally had leave and he was anxious to see Armin. He walked up the stairs to their apartment swinging the door open. Armin was in their bedroom, reading. Levi’s body shook as he neared him watching as Armin looked up, mouth fell open, and book closing. They were on each other in seconds, a flurry of fevered tears and kisses. He picked him up in his arms, “Mami!” His words were swallowed by Armin’s feverish kisses. “Velvel, my dark wolf, I missed you. I love you.” Levi kissed his neck pulling his clothes off, “I love you, mami.” 

They made love over and over, shared stories, talked about little things. What Armin read in these last lonely months were great for entertaining Levi who’d loved to have him read out loud or tell him shortened versions of the great works. Armin’s letters had worried him. He’d mentioned his father had kept coming to see him and they spoke about that. “He injected me with this blood.” “Blood?” “Yeah, it has made me really tired.” “What’s in it?” “It’s just considered pure Reiss blood and it opens up memories and makes me…different.” “How different?” “I don’t know, my Velvel. Become a doctor one day and discover why. I don’t want to keep talking about it right now. It makes me sad and I see things.” It was then that they found themselves at the very topic they didn’t want to be at: them.

The Reiss family was at the center of a global and historical conspiracy. That was much easier for Levi to swallow than the next hour of Armin explaining their past lives. It made sense; lately he’d been having these flashes and even long moments where he was blinded by great sweeping visions. It had been three years, three long years at war and he was now lying in bed with his lover, who wasn’t supposed to be his lover, and he knew that this was the end. They had to end this, make it through this war alive, and keep the Reiss from winning. But, how?

“You want to end it?” Levi’s words were almost not heard over the low sound of the radio. Armin leaned over, rolling on his side to lay his head on Levi’s chest, “I want you always in my life with me. But, Levi, Irven and I, we’re each other’s person and you and Eren,” Levi jerked, mumbling sullenly, “What does that brat have to do with anything?” Armin sighed dramatically, “He’s your person, Levi. God, I’ve been everything, jealous, aware, and hopeful. I’ve known for so long that he was meant for you and I, well, I don’t mind if it’s him. I’ll let go, but only for him.” Levi’s voice was so puny and hurt, “You really believe that we’re not beschert?” He wanted to cry and Armin hugged him closer, “We’re beschert, Levi. More than beschert, but you know that Irven and you, you aren’t meant to be, and that’s like us, I’ve seen it and I know that you and Eren are soul mates. He’s my friend and I feel so lucky to call him that. He and I have been together in past lives where you and Irven were not alive, you and Irven, Irven and Eren, we’ve all been together so that’s why when we are alive in the same life we end up finding one another and we’re always so upset and torn about it all we torture ourselves.” 

Armin huffed, smiling sadly, small breathy laugh, “We’re always having this same fucking conversation where we’re so damn confused, frustrated, and we feel like we’re hurting one another so let’s save us the pain, save the time, let’s accept that we’re not going to hurt each other because we love each other so much that we let that love, that trust, guide us where we need to be and to who we need to be with.” Armin paused, small sob dying in his throat and he tried to calm himself, “You and I Levi, we’re always the hardest to separate once we get together. We’re so loyal, we don’t ever want the other to feel like they were lesser than Eren or Irven because we’ve spent lifetimes feeling like we were lesser than the dirt on the street. We always want to be reassured that we’re loved and that other’s know we love them. We fear abandonment so much that’s why we’re so close. We’re closer than close but, Eren, come on, there has to be this….this thing to him, right? A little something, something that I don’t give you and he can or does already and maybe you don’t even know it yet.” Levi said even more stubborn and sullen, words persistent and rushed, “You give me everything.” Armin was getting pissed off, “Stop, stop Levi. Stop making it so hard. You know I’m right.” Levi closed his eyes, “I know but five almost six years, that’s so long. I don’t want to throw it away.” “Levi, we’re not. I’m not going anywhere far from you and Irven knows that. He doesn’t want to go anywhere either and Eren will feel the same. It’s how it’s been in the past and It’ll be fine. We’ll all be close to each other.” Levi knew he was right but it scared him and it did hurt him, “Are you really that ready to move on with Irven?” Armin was now angry, “Do you think this is easy? Do you think I like this? Do you think that I don’t find this hard, talking to the man who saved me, changed my life, showed me love, treated me like a prince, and healed me, in this manner? NO! It kills me. But, that’s fine, Levi. Continue to guilt me, continue to keep yourself cut off, continue ignore the headaches and Eren’s obvious plight for attention. It’s what they want. It’s what they always hope for.”

Armin made to move but Levi held and then pulled him closer, “Shut up,” his voice low, it wasn’t harsh but more conceding in tone, he started to get choked up as Armin melted into him again, “shut up you little devil, my god, you’re insatiable with your facts and logic and whys and destiny and you break my heart but okay, I concede to you and your logic. I love you. But, promise me something.” Armin looked him in the eye. Levi took a deep breath, sadness clear in his features, “What?” “Tell me, you’ll always love me. Tell me, you’ll never turn me away. Tell me, you’ll be there when I need you. Tell me, that we will always have this special bond. I can give Eren a chance; I know that I have to and that I’ll be glad that I did. But, Armin, you and I…we’re made from the same thing. Our souls are cut from the same cloth.” Armin smiled and snorted, “Yeah, because Irven is a whole other animal. We know what it’s like to be poor, dirty, and hungry. Irven is just oblivious. He told me about going to Africa for a month for vacation and I remember saying, “Oh, you had a vacation? I’ve never been on one of those. Is that like staying a week at a new shelter to get away from the old man at your regular one who shows his genitals to you or is that different?” 

Levi chuckled, “Eren had a pretty good life till recently, too. I’ll listen to him and when he talks about warm sheets, parents getting along, school,….god I just think, wow my mom loved me but I had to basically be quiet while she had clients. Never got to go to school but I learned how to become a pimp and gang leader so that was kind of like trade school, I guess, and I never had warm clean sheets. I slept on a bed made of straw with an old table cloth.” Armin smirked, “God, that’s so sad.” Levi nodded, “Don’t tell me about it. Living it was enough. I want to do better for myself and my children….well, if I could even have any….” Armin smiled trying to make him feel better, “Adoption?” Levi snorted, “As if. We’ll be Jews in hiding all of our lives. Not fathers and free men.” Armin leaned up kissing him softly, passionately, “Immaculate conception?” He whispered sinfully against his lips. Levi smirked, replying against Armin’s now somewhat open and panting mouth, “You think the messiah would be born into a world like this? Never.” Armin laughed shortly before Levi surged forward and they became tangled in their sheets again.

But it wasn’t to last. The door was open, men in SS uniforms wearing Reiss pins. Armin was ripped from Levi and soon they were outside, naked and shivering, tossed into the back of green trucks with tarps for tops and wooden planks for benches. In the jail Levi was beaten almost to inch of his life, Rassenschande was a big deal and somehow he wasn’t the Jew they were referring to. In fact, they were so upset an Aryan like him had done such that they beat him more. Armin was booked for his crimes, a bag placed over his head, and into the back of a van he was thrown. Levi watched from the window, screaming, face tortured and mouth open in desperation. What if that was one of the special vans, the ones that filled with gas?

Irven Schmidt’s first call was to Zackley of the Gestapo. Nile was on his way to the prison to intercede on Levi’s behalf but Irven needed to find Armin. He had started his own leave after Marco was blown to pieces. It had wounded moral and Jean and Eren were able to take care of themselves. He wanted to be near Levi and he wanted Armin in his arms. He had just crossed over boarder into Germany when a call from Hanji let him know what had happened. Hanji had been beside themselves since Mike died. He had found information about a special motivating program that provided monetary incentives to the Frührer for killing certain Jews. Mike had found out other things, some strange and concerning fluoride in water, but those things died with him when he was murdered. Murder wasn’t the official ruling by the police, though. Suicide was reported but Hanji and Irven knew that he’d never have killed himself in the barn his family owned and let the pigs feast on him. He’d have never done that to those precious pigs.” 

Irven was now finally at Zackley’s office. “He’s Jewish. It’s the law.” Irven slammed his fist down, “What the fuck do you mean?! Jewish!? What scheiß is that!? He’s no Jew, I’d have never suffered a Jew in my circle of peers. He’s a very, very smart and proper man. Not an improper thing about him.” “He was a male prostitute. That’s hardly proper.” Irven screamed, “HE WAS NEVER A PROSTITUTE! I’M TELLING YOU HE’S NOT AND DOESN’T NEED TO GO TO A CAMP! YOU GET HIM BACK HERE! PUT HIM IN PRISION BUT NOT A FUCKING CAMP YOU GODDAMN FUCKING SCHEIß NAZI!” Zackley stood, knocking his chair over, “ **YOU** ARE A _FUCKING SCHEIß NAZI TOO_ AND **I** _SHOULD_ OPEN AN INVESTIGATION AS TO _WHY_ ONE OF OUR TOP OFFICERS IS FIGHTING FOR A GAY JEW TO BE SAVED SO HARD?” Irven shut up, eyes blood shot and hand shaking for a pistol, “I’ll pay for him to be put in jail.” Zackley huffed, sitting down and righting the things on his desk that he had knocked over, “Irven, how can I say this,” he hummed to himself, “even if you offered everything in your bank account and I mean all of the Schmidt fortune, you could never give enough that the people who want him in a camp couldn’t match and then some.”

************

Armin had gone after they injected him to see Dr. Zoe. Dr. Zoe was one of Irven’s closest friends, fellow gang member, and a well known doctor with an open mind. Armin knew that they wanted him to marry that girl and have children with her, children to carry on the line and tie up loose ends. Blood was a strange thing. It means so much to many different cultures, peoples, and religions. It carries life through the body, is life itself, and is a product of the couplings of lives before it. Armin’s blood was special and he needed it to never mix with hers. There was something about boats and cabins that made him sure of that.

Hanji had looked him over, taking stock of everything. He’d given his medical history and unfortunately, he might have HIV. “I don’t care. I wasn’t meant to live long anyway.” “But, you shouldn’t be careless.” “These are careless times.” “You know it won’t hurt that much but it’s not reversible. I’ll make sure that no one could try.” “I need you to do more to ensure that. I need this to be uncomfortable. I need it unnoticeable and not reversible.” Hanji bit their lip, “It’s that serious, huh?” “Yes.” Hanji stood up preparing their surgical tools. 

Once it was over, they made Turkish coffee and sat by Armin’s bed. Hanji looked into the cup and then turned it over on the saucer, “Eren Jaeger, you know him?” Armin smiled weakly, “Yeah, I do. He’s my best friend.” Hanji nodded, “He got me this coffee.” “How did you two meet?” “Irven. I did his physical for the NAPOLA. He’s a great kid, taught me how to read the coffee.” “I wish he’d shown me.” “Want me to read yours?” “Yeah, how long till we can do it?” “Maybe five minutes.” They sat in silence for five minutes till Hanji turned the cup over and looked at the black sooty lines. “What’s it say?” Armin’s voice hoarse and curious, “something good I hope.” Hanji sighed, “It says…it says you’re going to die.” Armin coughed laughing, “Wow. How?” Hanji put the cup down, “Something about your body will be everywhere and nowhere at the same time.” “Oh, well….I hope I’m old.” Hanji nodded, “I do too.”

Almost an hour went by until Hanji spoke again, “So why not….” Armin sighed, “Why not what?” Hanjis hands were pulling at their coat, belly bloating from pregnancy, “I’ve been wondering about things that Mike said.” Armin turned his head to look at them better, “Yes?” “They injected you with blood.” “Yes.” “Why not…” “What?” “Spinal Fluid?”

*************

Marco died and the Jean. Eren felt heavy as he changed in the medical psych ward behind the front lines. Armin hadn’t written in a while, he was scared. Irven was back from what he’d heard and so was Levi but something had happened. When he got in the back of the bus all he could think about was Jean, Jean’s face, Jean’s hands, Jean’s laugh, and how he couldn’t even bury his body next to Marco’s because there were only little bits of Marco after the mines and they hadn’t let them retrieve any. Both of them separated again and it made Eren want to scream.

When he got back it was strange. Their company was now down to six and Irven was the very definition of defeatism. Levi, however, looked like he was a corpse. He found out after going to Irven that Armin was at a camp, a Jew and being worked to death. Eren nodded, he’d known and Irven gave him a strange look. “Levi needs….more than I can give him.” Eren jerked at the insinuation. He had always thought that Irven would one day come seeking comfort from him but he’d oddly always kept it chaste between them. Something told Eren he got off on it. “But, you need…” “I need to use my money, my power, and my connections to ensure that the people I care about are kept safe. I am barely keeping Armin alive and I think that’s because I didn’t know his secrets and therefore, I could not plan for this.” Eren’s brows furrowed, “I don’t follow, commander.” He mumbled as Levi appeared inside, bottle of beer and hazy look in his eyes, “Shitty fucking brat. Always here and being so fucking shitty. You shitty pig, drecksau.” He slurred stumbling forward to his cot in the room. Eren wanted to please him, so he made to leave and not disturb him when Irven grabbed him, “You two need to stay close. I will protect you two.”

Eren looked at Levi’s back when Irven hugged him, “He’s grumpy, don’t let it deter you. I’ll be back in two hours.” He left the room to start working on the Reiss plan and Armin’s salvation again. Eren locked the door moving towards Levi, “Captain, I,” Levi didn’t acknowledge him and his throat was dry, tongue heavy, “C-c-c-a-a-a-pptain, umm I,” “Mein GOTT, ARE YOU ALWAYS SO FUCKING SHY?” Eren jumped, “N-no. Um yes, with you, I um…yes um I’m so sorry Captain…I…” Levi rolled over looking at him, studying him, a look of sadness colored his features, “Kirschstein is dead and so is Baader. I am sorry for your loss, Eren. I am sorry for you. And as for me, well I miss them, a lot.” Eren felt immediately more pity for his captain. He really had been fond of them and Eren knew that but it had made him jealous at the time. Levi was sad for him and that made Eren’s heart flutter. His captain had thought about him and his pain. He always thought of Levi’s pain.

“I am….empty.” Levi whispered from the cot, eyes dropping from Eren’s to look around the room, “Kirschstein, Baader, Eld and his wife Petra, Oulu, Farlan, Isabel, and so many more of my friends….all of my friends are dead. Irven lives, but he is a shell. I am a shell, empty and if you hold me up to your ear you will hear it, the tides of sorrow that live within.” Eren wanted to scream, wanted to cry, wanted to punch him, wanted to fuck him, wanted to be him, wanted to leave him, wanted to mean something, mean as much to him as he meant to Eren. Levi pressed on, “Irven is my friend and he is in love with Armin. I have been with Armin for almost six years. Six years, Eren. Three in peace and three in war and while on leave we ended it but I am so lost. He and Irven, they’re soul mates. I know that, but he’s my closet friend, confidant, lover, etc… What do I call that? And now he’s in a camp where he’s being tortured and will be killed. I should be there with him, instead of him. I deserve it.” 

Eren could not remain silent, “NO! Captain, you don’t! I,” Eren started to cry, knowledge of Armin’s whereabouts paining him immensely, “I had no idea that’s what was preventing him from writing to me. I….he is my best friend.” Levi covered his mouth, face flushed red, eyes watery, “I know,” he gritted out, “I know he is and I am thankful he had you. But I am a horrible wretched thing. I deserve to be there, not him. I should be in the camp. I should.” “CAPTAIN WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?! I AM JUST AS GUILTY AS YOU!” “NO, YOU’RE NOT! I AM A JEW, EREN!” Levi moved off the bed, Eren’s eyes widened in shock, mouth fell open and words died in his mouth, “W-what!?” Levi lurched forward, “A JEW! A fucking Jew, Eren. I am a Jew and I deserve to be there and be killed because of what I have done.” Eren shook with anger, “No! I did just what you did. I believed in the cause, I was a blind soldier who killed and thought that eugenics was right. HELL WHEN I KNEW IT WASN’T I STILL WENT THROUGH WITH IT! I AM EVIL, DISPICABLE! I am evil, not you Levi, not you. You did this to survive.” Levi sat back down hands pressed against his temples, face purple, shaking voice, “No, no, no, no, they’re my people, Eren. _My people._ It would be like Moses having taken the Israelites to the red sea and then drowning them after he parted the waters. I am their Judas, the Christian betrayer but not of one man but of _my own people._ Who am I? I do not deserve to live.” Eren fell to his knees, “Yes you do. Armin will live. Irven will make sure of it. You will live because I,” Eren stopped speaking and Levi waited, “because,” he stopped again and Levi was on edge, he screamed, “GET ON WITH IT!” “BECAUSE I NEED YOU.” 

Eren wanted to say, because I love you. But he did need him and he knew that telling him that would only make things worse because that couldn’t make anything better. Levi looked even sadder, “Why?” Eren took a moment, “Because…..I just do. You make me want to be a better person. You make me stronger, more confidant, you give me direction, you’re everything that I need, everything that I enjoy, everything that I crave.” Eren was flushed and Levi’s face gave away noting. He covered his mouth shyly, head pounding from the rush of emotions, “I…” he paused, whispering with obvious emphasis, “don’t want to say something… _wrong to you._ ” Eren looked away, shy again and blushing. Levi’s heart pounded and so did his head, his next words were softer, the softest they’d ever been with Eren, “Come here.”

Eren looked up and Levi was still standing but his arms open, “I’m sorry I snapped at you.” Eren felt extremely nervous but the opportunity to be close to Levi and to even touch him made him move forward somewhat to over zealously. He found Levi’s arms strong, his chest made of stone but it was cool and forgiving. His hair, his body, his breath, it all smelled like mint and fresh clean water. Eren didn’t want to let go.

Levi knew Armin was right, the second Eren embraced him his entire body was alive with electric current and he felt immediately better, more calm, more settled, and he knew that this was what Armin felt with Irven and for once he could say that that made him honestly happy. Irven and Armin deserved this and he wanted to keep experiencing this. He also knew that he needed Eren. They’d been dancing around one another for these last two years. After the fox hole incident, Eren was increasingly all he focused on in the field and had made him specifically his under officer for errands and other small details. Eren thrived under him and Levi knew he felt the sexual tension just as strongly as he did, more so since he was much younger and more eager to please his captain than probably anyone else would be. Levi now felt a bit sad he’d taken so long to go through with Armin’s suggestions but that was just it, Armin owned a part of his heart. Eren didn’t want to let go and Levi didn’t make him. Instead, he turned the lamplight off and moved them to the bed where they laid together in silence till each one fell asleep. When Irven returned he felt a surge of jealousy. He turned to his cot and laid down, alone and cold.

************* 

“He’s a Jew. We have the papers, the witnesses and their signatures. He is to be shot.” Zackley wet his lips as Irven looked at the paperwork, “I always knew he smelled like shit.” Irven’s voice was full of malice, “Listen, shooting him would be too kind.” His blue eyes shone in the sunlight while he smirked, a foreboding look in Zackley’s opinon, “You leave this with me. I’ll make sure he gets what he deserves.” Zackley chuckled, “Okay, boy, he’s got it coming to him with that tone.” Irven chuckled deeply, “Oh, yes. Sign this and leave these documents here. I trust these are the originals?” Zackley nodded and Irven opened the drawer in his desk at the post, pulling out a small velvet bag. He emptied the contents on the table: fourty-two gold teeth. “This stays between us.” Zackley took the bribe and made to stand up. Before he went through the door he turned around, “Tell me,” a small smirk of sadism, “what are you thinking of doing?” Irven tilted his head to the side, “I’m going to send my little demon to hell.” *********** 

_Communist: _The word had saved his life but for how long? Not homosexual and not Jew, certainly not Jew. At Buchenwald a communist could work in the warehouse and that’s where he was now. Jews came and through the chimneys they left. Levi felt sicker and sicker every day. He understood Irven thought this was best but he was still in more danger here than on the front. Irven’s limitless pockets, the currency was seconds, minutes, and hours. _You know what they say in the ghetto, an hour of life is still life._ Levi wasn’t sure if he was happy to be alive or not. He worried about Armin who was not in a situation like this. He worried about Irven and how he was doing mentally. He felt…a longing for Eren Jaeger. A longing that had no words.__

They spent that month sleeping in one another’s arms. They never did anything past that physically. Once, Eren came to him drunk, fidgeting with his hands. Levi was resting against the panzer, sweaty from combat, they were now only four. In the beginning they had been eighty. Eren, Irven, Levi, and a new soldier Marlowe were all that was left and Eren being drunk was rare and upsetting given the situation. “Brat, what are you doing?” Eren fidgeted more, staring at the ground, “Hey, shit head, what’s wrong with you? Are you fucking drunk? You never get drunk.” Levi mumbled, hand reaching out to gently brush his cheek. Eren flinched and it hurt Levi. He decided to put back up the hard façade, “Tch whatever, brat.” When he tried to turn and leave Eren’s hand’s gripped his shoulders. Levi opened his mouth to say “what” but before he could, soft warm lips covered his and then left. He had kissed him, quickly, chastely, and nervously. Levi starred.

Eren started to stutter, “C-c-c-aaaa-p-p-tainn I-i-i-,” Levi started to chuckle low and darkly, “You’ve got some balls.” Eren shook, “I’m sorry,” his voice was so small it was child like. “Why?” Levi smirked, casting a deviant gaze at him, “Why are you shaking like a virgin?” Eren blushed beet red, “Ohhh,” Levi’s eyes were wide, “You are a virgin. Well, at least that wasn’t your first kiss so why act like that?” Eren looked up, “It was.” Levi’s eyes narrowed, brow furrowed, “Come again?” Eren became brash, “It was. It was my first kiss.” Levi deadpanned, “You’re twenty-three and that was your first kiss?” Eren shook his head, “Yes.” Levi stood back taking in his swaying drunken appearance.

He was flushed pink, eyes glassy and green like emeralds in the late evening, his hair longer than it used to be, skin tan and he was freshly bathed. Levi nicked his head at the panzer, “Get in.” Eren was confused, “Huh?” “Get in the panzer, cadet, MACH SCHELL!” (Do it quickly) Once inside Levi and Eren were sitting next to one another when Levi moved to turn and face him. Eren copied him, “Let’s get you kissing.” And that night Eren learned to kiss and it was soft and sensual and it was pure and it was love, a physical act of love that left both of them warm inside and their hearts full despite their stomachs growling from ration servings.

Now, two months working at the camp, he wished he could go back to that moment and make love to him, let him know how he felt. He was shit with his feelings and he knew Armin would tell him he had missed his opportunity and that he was an idiot. They had been on the same level when they met but Eren was younger and much more innocent. He talked to God a lot. He asked him to make it so he got to see him again and that they would be able to be together. He promised that no matter what, wherever they were, whatever the circumstance, he would make it count if he could only put the boy with the green eyes back in his life.

Levi worked at the front of the warehouse that gave out supplies to new workers who made it through the selection process. He heard someone walk to his station and he opened his eyes, “Eren.” “Levi,” Eren’s eyes were full of tears, “I need you. I need to be with you even if it’s in hell. I am so sorry.” Levi starred at him confused, “Sorry? About what?” A tear made its way down his face, “I’m sorry. I’m in love with you. I know you don’t feel the same and I’m just this weak person but I do, I love you.” Levi started to laugh hysterically, “You, you’re sorry, because you love me? Because you think, think that I don’t feel the same? I am not worthy of your love but I want it and I will take it if you’ll give it. I’ll give you my own broken and unsatisfactory love in return.” Eren smiled, laughing too, tears still streaming down, “This is the scariest and happiest day of my life.” 

Levi was Eren’s Kommondant, another way for Irven to keep Levi safer and that meant Eren was better off too. He got better food, didn’t have to go to the fields or rock quarries and could work in the warehouse with Levi constantly nearby. Eren would wander behind him through the day, hands pulling gently at the back hem of his shirt. Levi sometimes brushed his cheek when the others were busy. There wasnt a lot of opportunities to be alone. The toilets were where you went for sex, to buy or have. But, Eren wasn’t brave enough to ask Levi to go there, a place he hated more than any. He loathed those overflowing holes in the ground, the stench, the people, the animalistic atmosphere. It was where they held meetings for the resistance as well and when it was his turn to speak he made them stand in the very back with his back to it all.

Eren went into the office where Levi sat counting up inventory and tallying books. Levi had no schooling but his mother had taught him skills like this for the whorehouse and he forced himself to meet the challenge. Eren moved inside shutting the door and he approached Levi. “Levi?” Levi finished what he was writing, “Yes?” He twisted his cap in his hands, “Nothing. How are you?” Levi leaned back in the chair looking him up and down, “I need to shit.” Eren shook, stuttering, “D-do, do you wanna go to the bathrooms?” Levi raised an eyebrow, “You need to shit, too?” Eren could feel his cheeks burn, “Nn-n-oo ummm, I think I forgot to put something back up.” Eren ran outside of the room and back to his station. He hid till it was time to head back to the barracks. Levi didn’t mention anything about it.

Until that night when he woke Eren up and told him to get his things. Eren followed Levi past the bathrooms and to the warehouse. Inside, he unlocked their lockers and put their things inside. He didn’t speak a word as they walked back towards the office where he worked often. Before Eren could stop in anticipation of him opening the office door, Levi stopped abruptly, opened the closet before it, and drug them inside. The light popped on after a hand pulled the beaded cord swaying from its cord and Eren felt Levi engulf him. Lips moving against his in ways they had rarely done before. He felt Levi start to undress and then he started undressing Eren in such quick and rough motions Eren groaned extremely turned on. Levi pulled back, “You can’t make noise. We have just under an hour and we need to make it quicker than that.” Eren panted against him, “How did you know?” Levi was kissing his neck and collar bone, “shitting,” is all he said as he brought up his fingers and started to suck on them. Eren felt himself grow embarrassed, “What are you,” “You have to be stretched and it’s going to hurt like hell since it’s your first time and we only have spit. I don’t want to hurt you. Are you sure you want this?” Eren nodded, “Yes, yes, I want to be as close to you as possible.” 

Levi looked at him as he sucked his fingers more. Eren noted he did so with a loving look in his eyes. When he returned to Eren it was in a flurry of kissed and sensual movements with the main objective of distracting him as best as he could while stretching him as well as possible. Eren definitely felt the intrusion and it was a fairly painful experience but with Levi’s kisses easing the pain and his coaching they made it work. 

When Eren felt Levi inside of him, he felt alive and at home with him. Levi’s body was god like to Eren and he couldn’t come to a decision as to what was his best feature. He loved how tender he was with him and how he whispered his name hotly against his skin. It was quick and rough from the outside but in the moment Eren felt like it was the most perfect thing to have ever happened. It was like he had found a way to go to heaven for a few minutes. 

Eren and Levi made roll call and afterwards at work it was chaotic. A new transport came in, the resistance was growing restless, and there were informants among them. Levi had an assassination of a fellow conspirator in the works that the clock reminded them with every tick, each tick closer to that fake comrades death. Eren was sore but he was loved and he felt like despite the horrible circumstances that he had managed to make the best of it all with Levi.

Eren had recently admitted that he’d been sent to the camp by Irven because he had asked to be sent. Levi had gotten angry but then oddly calm. He’d held Eren’s hand on the bunk and then he told him that it was okay, he was too selfish to wish he wasn’t near him. After they made love for the first time in the closet they started going more often. It relieved stress and it made them closer. They found oil in a suitcase and it eased the process considerably. Eren went without occasionally to make it last longer. He and Levi also started talking, just talking. Through the day they increased how much time they spent speaking to one another and it made them feel like they were more alive and less in danger of being shot every second. They had talked on the front but this was different and it included discussions from what they could remember and how they would progress. Levi and Eren started to dream of making it out and having a life together. Eren wanted to open a bakery or work with animals and that delighted Levi. Levi said he’d like to go into a legal line of work or take up boxing professionally. Eren brought up marriage, it wouldn’t be legal, but they could have something for each other, something Jewish, just because it’d piss off all those Nazis.

They were in love and they were love, raw, pure, and untainted. Levi and Eren were living among the dead.

**************

At the camp it was pretty clear that he was of no further use to them. They came a few times over the course of 43 and 44, determined to make it work but confused when it didn’t. He got better food and wasn’t worked as hard. He was protected by them. The only person to ever be labeled with _Sonderbehandlung_ (special treatment) and it actually mean just that, special or preferential treatment. For other’s it meant simply a three letter word, gas. But then it became clear what he’d done, what betrayal he’d committed. They were once again in the same position where he had left them many lives over, with their hands tied and forced to remain in a state of inertia. Without consolidating the power they could not dare put into action other plans. They could not risk themselves falling pray to their own work. Armin Arlert was always become death destroyer of worlds for them.

He wrote a letter to Irven and handed it through the fence to a friend. He could hear the band playing as he walked off to the join the rest. 

***********

Irven had abandoned his troops, he had made his way to Poland, Auschwitz, where Armin was still being held. He had paper work to have him pulled out that he’d bribed and forged. Irven was getting his Katzchen out and then they would flee, flee to wherever. He had to get him out and away from the Reiss family. Hanji was dead but they had told him what needed to be said.

Erwin came up to the gates and found them open. The other officers had taken most of the prisoners on the final death march. Bodies were half burned outside the gates. One crematorium had been destroyed. Mengele’s twins were in their house, eyes wide with terror and bodies emaciated. He made his way quickly among the bunkers looking for Armin. When he got deeper into the camp he found a man he recognized from the cabaret, “Reiner?” Reiner Braun looked like a walking skeleton, his eyes wide with fear, “No.” he whispered fearfully, “No, all the guards are gone just go. Just leave us all alone till the Russians can get us.” 

Irven marched forward, “Armin, Armin Arlert.” Reiner nodded, “I know. I….he left something for you.” Irven stopped and watched as Reiner removed a letter from his prison uniform, mumbling in disbelief, “I can’t believe you’re actually going to get it in person. I was to mail it if I got out but I haven’t any post….” Irven took the letter, “Where is Armin?” Reiner stilled at the questions, his face appeared was numb and his eyes listless, “With my Bertolt,” he whispered solemnly. Irven moved forward aggressively, “Where!?” Reiner’s gaze was somewhere far-far away or back to something that had already happened. Reiner’s voice was sedated in tone, calm, and eerie, “the bodies, they were too close so we dug them graves in the air.”

_Liebe Irven,_

_If you are reading this, then they have come to get me. The Reiss family cannot carry out their plans this time. I have made sure of that. They are angry, so very angry. **You’d do well to remember what I told you.** I know you’ll figure it out. Right now, I am with you, in the air you breathe, bits of me float freely in the wind. I will land in the trees, in the fields, in the sea. I will also land in the lungs of those who breathe me in, deeply. They carry me with them and the others, all of the others. Our ashes will blanket the earth. Hopefully, we can make sure that this never happens again. Till we meet again, my sweet, sweet love. _

_Deine Katzchen_

Reiner walked up to him as he finished the letter. “Armin said people might come.” Irven wiped his face with his hand, putting the letter inside, hand gripping, “Yes,” he started to remove his hand as Reiner awaited further elaboration, “they might.” He shot Reiner right between the eyes, “So I have to tie up loose ends.”

***********

Irven sat in the hotel room knowing they were coming up the stairs. He was tired of living and a world without Armin was just too hard for him to persevere through. He finished his letter. He knew what he had to do to ensure that the next life would have an easier time figuring it all out. Reiss would not last forever.

The door opened and it all went quickly. They sawed his arm off, tortured him for information. When he revealed nothing they shot him, made it look like a suicide. They left him in the old wood paneled hotel room with its iron bed and white lace and linen sheets, his corpse, the greeter for all to see. 

Inside of himself he found peace, for a few blissful moments he was at the sea listening to Armin sing:

  
”Viljið tær nú lýða á   
meðan eg man kvøða   
Um teir ríku konungarnar   
sum eg vil nú um røða   
Grani bar gullið av heiði   
Brá hann sínum brandi av reiði   
Sjúrður vá á orminum   
Grani bar gullið av heiði   
Fávnir eitur ormurin   
á Glitrarheiði liggur   
Regin er ein góður smiður   
fáum er hann dyggur.„

  
“Will you now listen   
While I am singing   
About the rich kings   
Which I will now talk about   
Grani carried the gold from the hill   
Swayed he his sword of anger   
Sjúrður won against the worm (snake)   
Grani carried the gold from the hill   
Fávnir is the worm's name   
lies on Glitrarheiði   
Regin is a good smith   
of few is he great.”

Irven felt Armin’s hands stroke his hair and when he opened his eyes he was smiling above him, “Its okay. It’ll only be a little while till we do it again.” Irven’s fingers traced Armin’s lips, “I didn’t like myself this time.” Armin tilted his head to the side, “No, no it wasn’t your best. But, now it is time to rest.” He kissed the tips of Irven’s fingers, “I think this next time will be our best. Don’t you?” Irven smiled, the sound of the waves crashing on the shore, “Yes, yes I think it shall be the best.”


	80. Are we good?

The next morning Eren and Levi were waiting in the lobby for Armin and Erwin to come down. Eren stood next to Levi, holding his hand as he ate his third bowl of ceral with the other. “Eren?” Levi’s monotone voice sounded like pressed metal snapping back after being bent too far, “Must you hold my hand while you eat?” Eren kept eating. Eventually he swalled with food still in his mouth somehow and mumbled around it, “Ah Jus’ wan’ be neer ya’.” His mouth being full of food was disgusting and Levi rolled his eyes pulling him from the breakfast bar over to the lounge. He sat down on the plush sofa, pulling Eren in his lap, “There,” his voice dull, “now you can release me.” Eren smiled, “I know that was supposed to shame me or embarrass me but all it did was get me what I wanted.” Levi tisked. Donner’s ears stood up, “They must be about to get off the elevator.” 

Eren knew Levi was anxious to see Erwin and he couldn’t lie, he was aching for Armin to be near him again. The doors opened and Erwin was standing there, huge grin on his face as he lifted Armin up with his arm and let Armin swing back and forth like a monkey. Armin was laughing, hair braided, cute outfit on and he shined brigther than gold, they both did really. Eren got up, body shaking from excitement and like a moth to a flame he immediately tackled him. Armin squealed as they hugged each other in the lobby where breakfast was being served. Other visitors looked on with smiles on their faces and returned to their food, newspapers, or coffee. These two were so heart warming no one really could be distrurbed.

Erwin walked over to Levi who simply lifted his coffee up for a drink. Erwin raised an eyebrow, nicked his chin up, voice mock woundd, “Where’s my hug?” Levi merely sat his coffee down before looking him in the eyes and saying only the way Levi could say things, “Fuck off.” Erwin took a step closer, a bit haughtily, “I could stand to be welcomed like that once in a while, you know. Why you gotta be so cold?” Levi was relentless, “I wouldn’t want to get shit on my clothes, your filthy animal.” Erwin cluched his heart, “Ohhh” he exclaimed loudly emberassing Levi a bit as people turned to stare, they weren’t so cute like the other little corn muffins who were now holding hands and getting more food, despite Eren having ate them out of house and home already, “Ouch! That really stung, Lee.” Levi rolled his eyes, mouth tight and cheeks slightly pink, before Erwin sat down with a thud next to him, “So, is it just me, or have we always had this kind of relationship?” Erwin turned expectantly to Levi.

Levi looked at him, shrugging, “You fucked my man…a lot.” Erwin snorted, “That’s the pot calling the caettle black. We really had a complicated and dynamic relationship that last life didn’t we? I mean…Armin had everything….just so.” he held both hands up and nicked them forward making two tiny imaginary boxes next to one another. “He is a mastermind, alright. Eren, he was a fucking persistant brat. I can’t believe the things he did.” Erwin leaned over and gave Levi a waiting look. Levi rolled his eyes and kissed him, “There, leave me alone.” Erwin smirked, “Never.”

They finished eating and went to the town car they rented to take them out to chernoybl and the abandoned animal hopsital. Eren and Armin sat with one another on the ride to the animal hospital. It was old, full of rarities and history. Armin and Eren were talking a mile a minute having had no contact for almost a month and a half. Armin hadn’t spoken to Eren since they left for Russia and now they were cuddled up, hands held tightly, and so many instagram photos made that both Erwin and Levi smiled and mocked them till they were finally at the end of the tour and Armin and Eren forced them to take some with them.

Chernoybl was just as strange as they expected. Eren started running around and Levi followed yelling at him for all mannor of unsafe activities. Levi was a little hesitant about Eren being out in the radiation and Erwin too. Perhaps, he should study this? No, that was something Hanji would do and therefore, he should definitely NOT do it. Eren wasn’t an experiment and he would make sure he didn’t get himself poisoned or taken. This place was creepy if Levi was being honest. Armin felt it too and stuck to Erwin like glitter. _Glitter, the herpes of the craft world._ Levi snorted to himself. 

At the end of the day they were all starving and trying to decide where to get food. Armin and Eren wanted to come back to Chernoybl and spend more time there before they left, Erwin and Levi agreed. They sat in the back of the car falling asleep for the remainder of the forty minute ride back to the city. Erwin and Levi thought they were adorable but Erwin was reluctant to speak with Levi about what he wanted to speak to him about. He instead wanted a few drinks in him and settled for taking his hand and holding it. 

Eren and Armin asked to go to a resutrant that a local told them about called the “Veselka.”Levi and Eren had brought a change of clothes with them and changed in Erwin and Armin’s room into their nicer clothes for the dinner. Eren whispered to Armin and removed a clothes bag that Armin squealed when he saw and Erwin rolled his eyes knowing he’d see soon enough. 

[Armin](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/c8/7d/3b/c87d3b837a71be28bb89a854479aa188.jpg) stood before Erwin looking magnificent, “Did you see what Levi and Eren got me?” Erwin smirked, “Someone needed to get you something nice.” Armin’s eyes narrowed coyly, tongue pressing against the inside of his cheek, “Someone named daddy, but Velvel and Eren will just have to pick up the slack.” Erwin pulled him closer, “Where on earth will you put this wonderful outfit? We’ve only got out packs.” He kissed Armin who laughed against his lips. “Velvel will take it back with him and Eren when we head to France.” Eren walked out of the bathroom, “Mmm I see you like what we picked out. Here’s yours Erwin. We figured that you’d just be wearing clothes you could camp with. But, I didn’t see Armin’s socks anywhere?”

Armin pouted, “I have two pairs of socks left. One are fuzzy and covered in bunnys and the other are heavy wool for hiking.” Eren burst into laughter, “Oh man, how many times have you bitched about socks with Erwin this trip?” He turned to Erwin who also started laughing, “So much so that when we get to a shop I am going to buy him all of their selection of socks. I am kind of enjoying the…umm…how should I say it? It’s rather racy,” “The naked foot action you’re getting?” “Yesss” he hissed in dramatic faux pleasure, “the skin, so soft, so forbidden. It’s more than you can imagine.” Eren snickered as Armin rolled his eyes walking over to the bathroom where Levi still was. 

He opened the door, peeking inside. Levi was leaned over the sink, he looked up in the mirrow and their eyes locked. A moment passed, heavy and exciting. Levi turned around, shirtless, and face wet. Armin stood motionless as the tension between them grew. Finally, Levi moved forward pulling his shirt along with him. His steps were heavy and slow as he stopped just before Armin, “Now you know.” Armin nodded, whispering, “That this is love.” Levi smiled admiring his face longer as Armin’s lip quirked up at the edge, “This is why you were fighting so hard to not love me. I understand that. It was also why I never pushed you, I suppose. We are,” Armin looked to the side and then back to Levi, “always in a more emotional relationship than them. I envy them but not really. It’s different but not better or worse. We all just belong like this, you know?” 

Levi leaned forward pressing a kiss to Armin’s surprised lips, “Yeah, you always keep your promise.” Armin nodded, “I’ll never leave you, I’ll never not be there when you need me, I’ll never not love you, we’ll always have a special bond, I’ll never live apart from you, never ever. I promise. We promised. It’s going to work out. Eren and Erwin are here with us, safe. Our lives are actually the best they’ve ever been. I think we’re going to live to at least 130,” Levi snorted, “and we’ve got time to talk about it all but now you need to put a shirt on that fine ass torso of yours and come to dinner.” Levi smiled shyly as Armin placed a sweet chaste kiss on his cheek. When they returned, Eren and Erwin were also having a moment similar to theirs. They all went quiet and then started to file out of the room.

At the resturaunt Armin and Eren ate and drank while Erwin and Levi talked business and drank heavier than they the boys thought they should. Erwin put his shot down, “When we get back to France we should go through the lock boxes.” Levi wanted to understand Erwin’s strange vibes he was putting out, “We also need to meet with Dr. Jaeger, he’ll need to tell us his side of the story.” “Why do you think they do it?” “I don’t know.” “Armin has suggested that you should,” “I know. I will.” Erwin blurted out loudly, “Are you happy?” Levi was stunned momentarily and both Eren and Armin stopped as well. 

Erwin was really peering into Levi’s soul as he searched his eyes, “I am the happiest I’ve ever been.” Erwin leaned back, “Good, now where are the Reiss family members located?” “Arkansas.” “Fuck, that redneck ass place?” “It’s not too bad…okay, it is. The Duggars live there and procreate there but,” “Are you sure? I feel like they have to have another place of residence?” “Germany.” “That’s more like it.” “But, I think we need to focus on the ones in America.” “Reeeaaally?” Erwin whined as his drink sloshed around. Levi narrowed his eyes, look of suspcicion, “Have you remembered something that would contradict that?” Erwin shrugged, “No, it’s just we could make this into a vacation if they were fully seated in Europe.”

Levi bit his lip, “Mmm yes, saving humanity is low on the list. Vactions are what’s important.” Eren looked over, small smirk on his face. He’d told Levi he felt like he was the savior of humanity and this only made it more true because of his blood and such. “So, you consider this saving humanity?” Levi rolled his eyes, he just knew Eren was happy he slipped up and called it that, “Do you want to be inside walls, shity brat? They’re going to kill you for converting and for being the way you are in general and the rest of the Jews, that includes me, and our friends will be killed en masse. We wont even get to live inside those shitty walls and have the luxury of being oppressed. I do hope they aren’t attempting to put us in real fucking walls.” 

Eren chewed his lip, "So, we've only beat them once, right? Well, we did but not fully for some reason. Armin has kept them from succeeding ever since, correct?" Levi nodded and Armin moved anxiously in his chair, "Can we not talk about it right now? I just want....I just want to be with you all here, in the moment." Levi nodded his head but shrugged, "We need to talk about it though. We need to go to see Eren's father and put it all together." Eren frowned, you want to leave early to do that?" "Maybe." Eren looked at Armin, "I told Levi I wanted to speak to him with you there...because he owes us both a lot and we need answers that don't conflict." Armin moved closer to Erwin, his arm tugged on his arm and Erwin moved it to hold Armin close to him with it behind his shoulders. "Your momma...." Eren looked at the table, "I know."

Erwin leaned over and took Eren’s hand on the table giving it a reassuring squeeze, “Levi and I will be there,” “not in the room,” “outside in the,” “not in the hallway,” “the,” “no,” “then the outside,” “not at the,” “in the car. Promise.” Erwin patted his hand pulling Armin even closer, “So, have the others? You know?” Levi smirked, “We left that as homework.” “How did you figure it out, Levi?” Armin was very curious as to what brought this all about, “Mmm well, Eren and I decided to drink each other’s blood.” Erwin groaned, “Vaaaampires.” Armin elbowed him in the side, “Hush, go on Velvel.” 

”Well, we did and I mean, we did it at the same time. Not like…” Eren’s brow furrowed, “Like what?” Armin felt uncomfortable, mind flashing back. Levi took a drink, “Nothing, my throat was dry. Anyway, when we did it at the same time it all clicked. The next morning we asked Mikasa and David what happened in the water and we discovered that both Mikasa had bit the inside of their mouths or bit their lips and when they kissed they must have exchanged blood. So we told them about it and they did it. Then like with us it just clicked. Jean and Marco were leaving for Italy and we told them that while on their trip, together and safe at Gio’s home, they should try it.” Eren laid his head on Levi’s shoulder, “Jean said they would text when they figured it out.”

“So, what could your father have to tell us?” Erwin muttered drinking more, “I mean, you’d think he would have popped up in those visions we had.” Eren became uncomfortable, “I ate him once.” Erwin nearly dropped his drink, “You ate your father?” “I had to.” “Why?” “To unlock the power of shifting into a titan.” Armin’s eyes were quick, a flash of something ran across them, he lost himself, mumbling and thinking aloud, “Blood, eating, spinals fluid. Ashes to ashes and dust to dush and ashes that blanket the earth and people burning. Flesh and bone and Faust.” Armin pouted and Levi snorted, “You’re such a little cutie when you pout.” Erwn laughed as Eren kicked him gently under the table.

Armin scoffed, “I’d like to go back to the hotel and not be made fun of.” Eren stood up knowing Armin really wasn’t enjoying the poking and he needed to help get them out of the situation, “We can take this party on the road.” Erwin and Levi paid the bill and ordered a few more bottles to go. It seemed the locals were impressed and they made a few jokes to which Levi could understand and reply. He seemed to understand that they were all for the first time on the same page and that things were a little awkward especially with what they had been remembering. Erwin said nothing so Levi made a point to intercede on his end.

“I’m afraid that whatever happened to Armin in the last life will potentially make him have a breakdown. I think we shouldn’t poke at him.” Erwin’s face wa serious, “You let me handle Armin.” Levi’s head snapped up to look at him, “That was full on asshole of you.” “I’m just saying, I understand Armin.” Levi clicked his tongue, “I hope you do.” Erwin felt a surge of protectivness, “He’s going to be fine. I think you might be the one we need to worry about. It’s not like you’re not emotional from that past life. How do I know you don’t hate me for what I did? How do I know you’re so forgiving?” Levi was floored. His mouth fell open and he turned on his heels to face him, “You think I am harboring ill will from that? Come the fuck on, Eriwn. That was Nazi Germany. You were insane! Don’t get me wrong. But you were a horribly deranged man who was possessive and obsessive but I loved you then and I love you now. You did what you thought you had to and it’s not all your fault. This is it, this is what we originally wanted. We wanted it to be that there was a force that let us find one another. Our original will is doing this. This is…this is Judaism.” As he said the words he felt himself nearly go into shock. That was a revelation he was not happy about. Levi opened the bottle and drank from it, “Oh God.” Erwin watched, “Having the break aren’t you?” Levi spat at him, “Shut the fuck up.” He started downing the bottle of raw alcohol, Ukrainian moonshine.

Inside of Erwin and Armin’s hotel they all settled in for the night. Levi and Erwin went to the balcony to drink and talk while Eren and Armin sat in the room talking and catching up again. Armin was discussing things about the wedding, “I asked Mikasa if she would still be able to do the dresses and she told me she had Sasha doing basting.” “Basting? Sasha?” “Yes, apparently Sasha can sew really well and has been working on the dresses till Mikasa can come home and put the finishing touches on everything.” Eren rolled on to his stomach on the bed, “Are you excited?” “I am beyond ready to have another ring on this finger and be Mr. Armin Axel Smith.” Eren snorted, “You wont do the traditional Armin Arlert Smith?” Armin rolled his eyes, “Absolutly not. I want that to die, die, die. In fact, can I tell you a secret?” Eren smirked, “Always.” “In order for me to be brought back to life in the United States legal system I had to “get married-isshhh” so I took Erwin’s last name. My passport says “Armin Axel Smith.” Arlert is dead and gone.” 

Eren was really surprised and pleased, “Wow, so you’re already one step closer to being fancy and rich.” Armin giggled, “Did you keep Jaeger?” Eren nodded, “Yep. Eren Jaeger Ackermann.” “That’s a mouthful but I’m kind of jealous. You got all the really good names. I traded Arlert which is weird but got boring old Smith.” Eren pouted mockingly, “Oh, you got a boring dynasty name. How sad. I have a name full of ethnic cleansing, political streif, and oppression while also representing a place and trade. And that’s just Ackermann.” “Smith is a bit better than Schmidt.” “I know and much better than the other German alternative, Schmitz. That sounds like Erwin would be pissing or raining sweat down on you.” “ I know, B-T-Dubbs how scary was Erwin last life? Tots hot, like on fire with all those brooding looks and smirks and commands, but he was INSANE. I loved him, truly, but I was never sure when he’d just lose his shit and shoot someone.” Eren rolled on the bed, kicking his legs up and down laughing, “He’s the ultimate Nazi. I was so confused because he reminded me of someone and then I remembered who,” “It was Amon Goeth from Schindler’s List wasn’t it?” “Yeeesssssssss O M FUCKING G I WAS LIKE TOTS AMON WHEN HE WAS YELLING “HE’S NOT A JEW, HE’S NOT A FUCKING PROSTITUTE! HE DOES NOT SELL HIS BOY PUSSY! DO NOT INSULT HIS PRECIOUS BOY PUSSY, YOU FUCK! FUCK YOU ZACKLEY HE IS A PROPER GENTLEMEN HE IS!” “HOW WERE WE ABLE TO SEE THAT?” “IDK I think maybe we have…like shared memories? Kind of like shared food bank.” “Interseting. Makes sense. Must be another self defense of that we wanted or hoped for to ensure we had the most opurtunites to put it all together. I bet that’s part of the whole reason this all deals with blood. We’ve had lives where we’ve had children, you know? Well, mostly Jean and Mikasa and then…the odd ones where Levi and Mikasa set about repopulating the earth like good Jews. She and David a few times and well….Mikasa is kind of the mother of all of our children which is really sad, super sad. But, none are like her and Levi, I think.”

“I think those are so sad.” “I KNOW! But what I’m getting at is that having children is a push of ours, too. Something about making the blood weak? Why are we even involved in this? This shit is so fucking weird.” Eren rolled closer to Armin who was laying on his back, dress still on and hair messily splayed out on the bed in a golden halo, “Arm?” “Yeah?” “You’re so pretty.” “Aw thanks. I know you want something.” “Wanna make out and stuff?” Armin turned his head to look at Eren, “Of course.” He smirked coyly as Eren moved over him and their lips met.

****************

On the patio Levi sat across from Erwin smoking. They were heavily drunk and had spent the large part of the evening digging at one another over past lives and the descions made in them. Erwin felt guilt, large amounts of guilt. He was always in positions of power or could luck up into them and that made him in many cases the root of all of Levi’s pain. His reflection in those past lives wasn’t always a face he knew nor one he was very proud of. Armin had done things as well, but for some reason it was different. He did them to survive, had to do it to survive just like Levi. Eren was sometimes caste in that role but he ended up being someone who was pretty okay off.

Erwin, no, he was tragic. He was either a king among men or a ruthless dictator. It was really hitting him in just waves and waves of oppressive guilt and self loathing, “You know what your problem is?” Levi said in a droll tone, “You’re feeling guilty for being you. You’ve had a dose of Erwin Smith thousands of times over and now you worry that you’re this horrible person and we’re all just forced to be around you because you’ve made it that way. I mean, it’s true, you’re pretty much a spoiled entitled little shit. But, that’s not all you are by far, Erwin.”

“You’re a good man, you genuinely believe that you are helping and will help and even in that past life, by far one of the most traumatic save for a few others, you loved me, loved Eren, loved Armin. You were conflicted, it’s okay. We know, academics I mean, that the propaganda campaign and the indoctrination of the Reich was unlike any other. You’re family was prominent in Germany and in the states. You were wealthy, a product of Prussia with medals to prove it and a father in politics, and the long standing anti-semetism of Germany is well documented as being a consistant current regardless of the time period. If we were to try and literally break it all down we’d be here on this patio for months or years, Erwin. So, lets just look at it this way, you love us with a love that is more than love.” Levi smirked as he said the words and Erwin covered his face, “Poe, really Levi?” 

Levi drained the bottle, “Poe is one of my favorites, you know this.” “I know this but still.” “Poe opened the windows on the house that is my soul. He let the light in and gave me another meaning to associate with the color red, a very Jewish color you know.” Erwin looked at Levi, “Is that why we have always had this…undercurrent of hate between us?” Levi’s eyes narrowed, “Are you asking if the feelings from our past lives, especially that last one, can transfer over? I think maybe, yes. But, Erwin, as I said, I have never hated you really. It has always been envy. I can’t hate you.” “You talk so well, Levi.” “I try.” “Most wouldn’t believe it. You never share so much in public. I just want to make sure we’re okay.” 

Levi stood up somewhat shakily from his chair and made his way to Erwin’s. He sat on his lap to the side, his hands held Erwin’s face, “We’re perfect. Honest. I can’t hold the Erwin of this life responsible for anything the Erwin of other lives have done.” Levi leaned in kissing him as Erwin hummed against his lips. When Levi pulled back Erwin just blurted the words out, “Armin wants a baby.” Levi chuckled, “How dare he? Out of wed lock non the less. Better make sure he hasn’t poked holes in the condoms you never use.” Erwin smiled, “It was like…” “Getting hit by a football as you walk through a hospital. Yeah.” Erwin laughed, “What kind of shitty metaphore is that?” “A great one.” “Sounds like something Eren would say.” “He’s a bad influence.” “They’re really quiet.” “Probably fucking, those horney teens.” “We should go watch.” “Oh yes….oh we’re sick old men.” “You’re the oldest.” “Not that far off my little demon.” “Oh God.” “I really liked my nicknames, though. Demon was spot on but my German “Mein littel Edelveiss Pirate,” was fucking boss.” “What does boss mean?” “Um… it’s like when you’re in charge of something amazing? I don’t really know how to explain it. Eren and Armin used it and told me I was boss and then that kind of led to my understanding.” 

Levi moved his bottle under his arm, “What’s that thing we use when they’re talking?” “Urban Dictionary.” “Yessss, umm,” “What is that?” “Chrome.” “I don’t use that.” “What? Why?” “I use the compass.” “The…what?” “The little compass that guides you.” “Oh, Iphone shit. Okay, well, whatever. Let me type the word in.” “Why don’t you like Iphones?” “Because they are absolute shit.” “I think it’s easy to use.” “You would. You’re weak.” “There it is!” “Boss: noun-a person who is a leader, someone who runs shit in his/her hood or city.” Levi starred at the screen, “Ffffffffalse. I am boss. I run shit in my “hood.”” Erwin burst into laughter, “You can be a boss, too.” Levi’s eyes narrowed, “But, Erwin,” “What?” “I need you to know,” “What?” “I am the boss. I am. You are not.” 

Erwin bit his lip humming, “Mmmmm nope.” “Um what did you just say?” “I said no.” “Creaton, I will smite thee.” “Armin is boss. He runs me and mine. Sorry, my little gangster. You can run Eren. We’re the true victims here. Eren and I just do what you and Armin say.” “Eren get’s his way, a lot.” “Ehhhh only because he’s got that ring and marriage license.” Erwin chuckled as Levi rolled off of him, “Think they’re really fooling around?” Erwin nodded his head, “I know it. I got a blood infection and we didn’t have sex or anything for three weeks. He didn’t have any way of letting out frustration and last night, damn, it was fucking hot. But, he like….he stores sexual energy? He just…he’s like matter, it can neither be created nor destroyed. That sex energy has to be released and I bet that Eren initiated it and he’s all in to it.” Levi was worried about the infection and seemed to think for a moment, “We will discuss why you never told me you had that serious of an infection later.” Erwin knew he was in trouble. Levi then softened, “Why do you think Armin didn’t start it then? Why Eren?” “Because Eren hasn’t seen Armin in a long time and I know that he and Armin fool around waaaay more than you and I do. I bet they were on the bed and Eren just smirked and was like, wanna make out? And I know Armin smiled all cute like and said yeeeaaah.” Both Levi and Erwin laughed together.

Levi nicked his head, swaying and buzzed, “Let’s go watch.” Erwin stood up nearly knocking the table and chair over, “God, I’m drunk.” Levi laughed, “Yes, you are. We are both drunk.” “Like, do you think we’re creeps if we watch? It’s like…a strange thing to do right? We do this….and it’s creepy, right?” Levi deadpanned, “It’s like watching 3D porn. I don’t know what to tell you Erwin, and we’ve done it before so like? I mean, we’re freaks. I’d rather watch them than random people on the internet. They’re much hotter and we can touch.” Erwin walked forward embracing Levi, “True. I will be let down if they’re not when we walk in.” “You’ll just go lay down and start snoring, old man.” “Stay tonight?” “Eren and I didn’t plan on leaving.” “Good, I love you two.” “Don’t kill my mood, I’m half hard and hoping for a good show. You’re sentimental shit is killing it.”

They opened the door and were not disappointed as Armin was on his stomach hair to the side and messy, pouty kiss bruised lips and small wanton look to his features, dress hiked up around his stomach, legs crossed with cock swept towards the back, thighs shinny from the lube running down. Eren stood behind him, naked and lubing his own erection. Armin’s face was red, he panted, breaths shallow, as Eren’s hand smoothed over his round bottom. They both paused as Levi and Erwin entered. Eren looked to Levi for some sort of sign. Levi turned to Erwin and back to Eren, shrugging and motioning to them in a sweeping drunk gestures, “Don’t stop on our account.” Eren smirked as Armin whinned impatiently pushing back towards Eren. They sat down in the room and settled in for a show.

**************

The next morning Armin rolled off the bed pulling on his clothes. He went downstairs to the breakfast bar and got as much food as his plate could hold. He went to get juice but they hadn’t refilled it yet so he stuck to coffee and water. As he stared at water which bubbled from the minerals, he started to zone out. His mind was empty for the first time in forever and then it began. He jumped from topic to topic in his mind, barely resting on one. It was nice, he did this sometimes, he just embraced the fact his mind never really turns off. In fact, he was so enjoying this peace he was glad that if they came down they wouldn’t see him because of the utter isolated existence he was experience right now.

He loved them, he really did. But, this was nice. Being alone like this was really comforting because he knew that they were all right up stairs. He opened his phone and shot a text off to Hanji. He knew he was playing his hand. He started eating and kept looking at his water. _”Why not spinal fluid?” “They said it didn’t work any more.” “Herd inoculation.” “In the water.” “Fluride.” “Pineal.” “Third Eye.” “Control.” “Wells and wells and wells….tiefer Brunnen muss man graben, wenn man klares Wasser will.“ (Deep wells must be dug in search of clear water.)_ Armin finished chewing and then pushed the glass across the table away from him.

_Spread the blood thin, dilute the power. However, we must consolidate the blood in those who would use it to lead us into the utopian society we need. One where enemies are clearly defined as those outside of the flock. The flock of the pure. You would not take a blemished sheep into the tent for sacrifice. The tabernacle is not a place you afface with such as that. You would slaughter a pure sheep and in our case, the sheep offers itself up to the new one to feast on. In the world, there are others like you precious ones, but they are lost and they seek to destroy the flock we cultivate, destroy us with their powers. They would use their powers of priviledge to keep those less blessed as we from finding true happiness. We once saught to deform them, make them into their own enemies but that was not sustainable. Now, we seek to create a submissive folk, a submissive flock from which we can sustain ourselves. The enemy will be more relatable, more tangible. We will thin their ranks with the plagues of our Lord God. We will set the world back to a time where true Eden can be achieved. They will find happiness in slavery._

Armin sat back in his chair looking at the TV as it played the news, “Russia and Turkey have now declared war on one another. The US is debating joining with Russia against Turkey, Syria, and the neo terrorist organization The Wall.” “All we know about The Wall is that it’s leader, One Eye, claimes that if the world would simply grant them a platform from which to speak liberation of the people could be achieved.” “Currently, gas lines in Russia have been cut off to sections of Ukraine, Poland, and China is currently poised on the boarder ready for some sort of warfare.” “The Wall has encouraged Russia to return to it’s soviet past by joining them in bringing communism to the world.” Armin closed his eyes, head hurting immensely. He would have to deal with One Eye and he didn’t want to. 

Hanji texted him back and he dialed them, “Hey, Hanji.” “Armin, your voice is sweet and soothing at the this late hour.” “How are you and Mike and Mila?” “Mmm we’re doing well. Mila is asleep and Mike and I are going to eat a late dinner.” “Why so late?” “Mike’s not been sleeping well and he’s been really…” Hanji sighed, “I have to just tell some one. We’re thinking about moving.” Armin sighed, he and Levi had talked about it when they stayed in Montgomery before the wedding, “I know. But, Hanji….” “Mike really wants to make his dad happy but Armin I can’t leave Maria. I want to raise Mila here and I want to be with you and Levi and Erwin and Eren. This is the only family I know and have. I can’t lose him but I can’t go. I can’t go.” “What does he say?” “He’s upset and he says its only because of Levi.” “Is it? Is that really the true reason?” “Armin, he is more than a friend to me and I say that having let him pull Mila from my womb. But, besides Levi and all that I think of him Maria calls out to me from the soil. There is this…fated feeling here and I must stay.”

Armin understood, “Then it’ll work out like that. I promise. Because this is all fate, Hanji. Have you spoken to Levi?” “No?” “Then we’ll have to explain when we get back to Maria. Will you do what I ask?” “I don’t know Armin. For you, maybe but,” “Please, I promise it’ll be fine. I’ve thought it all out and I want you to know that I know you want to do this just as much as me. I know about….you know.” “You do?” “I do.” “I think this could get me in a lot of trouble.” “And you care why?” “I care because I care, you know? I do want to do it. You’re right there.” “Then do it and keep me posted okay? Don’t worry. I understand that sometimes you have losses. I’ll keep it quiet and when it seems to work then you know…proceed with the other plan.” Hanji laughed shortly, “You will shoulder the blame?” “I will.” “Hmmm well, that gets me out of trouble from one but not all.” “This is the best thing in the world.” Hanji smirked and he could hear it in their voice, “You know what? I agree. I can’t wait to see you. Till then, bye bye.” 

Armin put his phone away enjoying the silence again. He poured his water in the plant near him. Erwin came around the corner, “Baby, there you are.” Armin smiled, “Daddy.” Erwin sat down with food and drink, “I like the way you say daddy, baby.” “I like your face.” Armin shoved pan cakes in his mouth as Erwin chuckled, “You’re such a cutie pie. I have bad news.” Armin’s face scrunched into a look of disbelief, afface, and annoyance. “Wow, you look like I just insulted you.” Armin put his fork down, “You kind of did.” “You know how our wedding date was set to August 21?” “ERWIN WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MY WEDDING?!” “Then venue messed the dates up and now we will not be getting married on the 21st but instead August 12th.” Armin starred, “You know what? That’s bullshit. I have everything on a certain timeline and now I have to call and,” “I’ve already paid people to contact our guests and re-issue invitations. They will be hand delivered and I also threatened to sue so they have given us a few upgrades.” “Our honeymoon?” “Where do you want to go, baby?” “The beach.” “The beach?” “School will be started and I don’t think we should go abroad right after because we’ll have just gotten back. I want to go the beach where the Jaegers took me for the first time.” Armin’s hand touched his seashell necklace, “I want you to see what I saw. That’s lame isn’t it?” Erwin smiled lovingly, “No, not at all. I want to see it, too.” Armin and Erwin ate their breakfast in silent peace as the news continued to play the same sad song. 


	81. Italy Prt. 1

They spent the month of June in Ukraine and France, side trips to Turkey and Germany where Armin and Erwin met up with Opa Arlert and he made a fuss over them like a good grandfather. At the end of July they would all meet up for a week and then head back to America. Armin and Erwin’s wedding date now really put the pressure on Mikasa but she’d called Ms. Kirschstein and explained. Luckily, she was really clear on what Armin wanted and thus, both women worked seamlessly even in separate countries. 

Mikasa and David went back to Sweden before heading to Italy. The mysterious M in Stockholm gave them more information on their past but not much more. They did stress that having children would be a good idea and Mikasa had blushed at the way David looked at her. He clearly needed no persuading but Mikasa was a little more hesitant.

M confirmed that Dr. Jaeger had taken her in order to keep her out of the hands of the Reiss family but as to why M had no idea. M suggested that it might be her genetic makeup. If Mikasa went to work with Weiss or Schwarz then her life would be one of secrets but extreme privlidge and thus, M said it was worth considering and that they could contact them for her if she ever changed her mind. Right now, the empire was in schambles after the sinking and they needed new blood.. David and Mikasa both got the feeling that M was neither for the Reiss family nor against. M was neutral, very much so in all ways of life from gender to personality. Mikasa wasn’t an expressive person but M made her feel very uncomfortable.

David and Mikasa eventually headed to Israel from Sweden to pay respects to their friends from table yellow. They laid stones on their graves and walked around the city, admiring it’s history. David held her hand as they ate icecream and listening to lutes from players nearby. She decided she like Israel very much and wouldn’t mind living there someday with him. Mikasa was interested in partnering with Chaya and called her as soon as they landed to plan a meeting. They had been in touch already and Mikasa had started drawing and sketching designs in preperation. Chaya was getting married soon and asked if she’d fly back for it and Mikasa agreed to wholeheartedly. David had been pleased as well at the prospect of coming back with the love of his life in the holy land of his people.

David had sat behind her one night watching her sketch till her hand stilled, “David?” Her voice had a curious tone to it, “Yes?” “Can I be Jewish and not believe in God?” David was momentarily stunned by the question. It was so out of the blue and he’d never expected to ever have this conversation with any of his close relations. He pondered it, "I think....yes?" Her hand moved on the paper and he sat in his same spot, unmoving, till he felt he needed to press on, "You don't?" She kept sketching, reply short, effortless, "Mm nope." David wasn't sure what to think, "Not at all?" She stopped sketching and put it in a new pile and grabbed another fresh sheet of paper, "No. Does that bother you?" David grunted, "I don't know." She turned around, "I think it does but, I mean I just, I dont believe in God, Daveed." He loved when said his name like that but he was actually bothered by this, "I think it does bother me."

"I'm sorry. I just don't see the point in it...in God. Are you upset?" "A little. I'm sorry....I feel bad for feeling like that." "Is it too much?" "What?" "That fact that I don’t and you do? Do you think we have to break up over it?" She asked suddenly and he nearly passed out, "Absolutely not. Please don't ever say such a thing again." "But is it going to be a thing?" He rubbed his hands together, "It kind of is now, isn't it?" She nodded her head, "Are you afraid that I," "When we have kids I need to know how," "Oh?" "Um what were you saying?" "I um....I was saying are you afraid we won't have a normal Jewish home?" "Yeah....what will you say to our children?" "Plural?" "Oh...um...." "I wont....I wont ruin God. That like the rule with Santa or something." "We don't. .... don't make him out to be like Santa please." "Bad anolgy. Sorry." "But how would it-" "I like the culture. Can I be cultural?" "OH...um yes, yes you can." "I can keep the lack of belief to myself till they’re older or they ask point blank. Till he or she asks..." "He or...so just one?" "Unless you care to house them....." "Umm I can't....and I respect you and your body autonomy."

Mikasa and David had let the issue rest and now they were on their way to Italy. From Italy to America with Jean and Marco, Eren and Levi, and Armin and Erwin was the plan and David was still trying to figure out still how he felt about the whole thing, "Would you marry me?" He blurted out on the plane in first class. Mikasa was in relaxation mode, she said she wasn't feeling well lately. Mikasa’s eyes widened, "Did you jusr propose?" "No...umm I just was thinking about our conversation the other night and if I asked you to marry me one day soonish or not would you be okay with a Jewish wedding?" Mikasa blinked, "Yes? Oh, David, I get it now." He watched as she mumbled something under her breath as she put her chair up in a sitting position. “David, I will be as involved in Jewish life and tradition as you want me to be. I will do for our child and I will be happy doing it, honest. I adore Eren and Levi’s life with their traditions and I know that, when I reflect on it, my parents kept attributes of Jewish traditions and just didn’t bother with religion. When I think about it, personally I mean, I believe that we’re all animals. There is no divine force guiding us. When someone dies and people say that there was a plan and we can’t question it or all of the things people normally say, I mean, I know they are trying to ease someone’s suffering but I don’t believe that. I think that when people get sick, hurt, old, etc… they die. I don’t think it has anything to do with god nor do I think I need God. I don’t think I need him or Jesus or anyone to die for me or do for me. I am in charge of me. I am my own God in a way. And that’s fine with me. I can accept that. But, I don’t ever believe I will be religious. I’d rather stick to this life and appreciate it for what it is and let science explain the rest.” 

David sat back in his seat, “I respect your opinions. There are Jews who…left God at Auchwitz and there are just cultural Jews who are atheists. I respect your opinions, my love.” She grinned, “But, you do not agree.” David lowered his gaze, “No…I just…don’t understand a world without…God.” She patted his hands, “It’s fine, David. Well, is it?” David took her hand, “Of course, I’m not going to make a big deal out of it. You’ve put me at ease about our future and I can live with it. It will just take some time for it to sink it. It was very much out of the blue. But…” “But what?” “If I asked you, to you know, marry me today, would you have said yes?” She gave him a sly look, “I think you’ve always asked and I’ve always said yes. But, what makes you think I’m waiting around for someone to ask me?” He smirked, “Wow, yeah, you’re a new age woman. I can’t believe I was so stupid.” She smiled and then frowned. He looked at her concerned, “Sick?” She nodded, “Yeah.” “Bag?” “Yes.” The flight was short and he was thankful.

**************

Marco was standing on the balcony tapping his feet, “Jean, are you ready yet?” Jean was still in the bathroom, “Babe,” he whined from behind the door, “babe, I’m kind of…you know…indisposed.” Marco walked back inside to the door and sighed. He leaned against the door, “Jean, seriously? I told you take it easy last night.” “Baaaabeeeee I knoooow. But, I was so awesome last night.” “You were a dork last night,” “I was the coolest man there I had to make sure I made other people aware of that,” “You drank till you threw up and then when we came home you called Eren and cussed him out and you wrote a song,” “Yeah an awesome song,” “About pad thai,” “Very relatable,” “yes to like every hipster fucker to ever exist in the world because they watch a few Netflix specials and it’s like…all that they ever order and eat. It’s like coconut soup. Who really eats that shit? Only fags and fuckers.” “DAAAAMN, Marco that is so harsh and so derogatory.” Jean snickered, “Well, I guess if you are a fag you can say it.” Marco rolled his eyes nodding, “It’s called word reclaiming, Jean. It’s what you do when a word has been used to oppress you and you’ve had enough.” “You are so feminist French woman right now. I am immensely turned on.” “I’ll be sure to burn my underwear.” “You don’t wear any half the time.” “I’m Italian.” “What does that have to do with anything?” “It has everything to do with it.” Jean laughed shortly as Marco pressed against the door moaning. Jean hummed, “I bet you look good pressed against that door, mon prince.”

Marco sighed again popping his back, “David and Mikasa are getting here in like 2 minutes.” “I wont be able to make it out for a while, babe.” “Jean, are you serious? How bad is your shitting right now?” “Bad, babe. Don’t make fun.” “I’ll make so much fun.” “Coffee, Jaeger, Beer, it’s all coming out of me like fountain.” “Jean, EW! Stop.” “I learned from Levi.” “He’s not that krass when speaking about it.” “I love you.” Marco smiled, shuffling his feet on the floor while blushing, “Shut up, dorkface. I love you, too.” 

There was a nock on the door, “It’s them.” “Okay.” Marco went to open the door and was greeted to a very sickly looking Mikasa and worried David. She wasted no time and didn’t step over the threshold at all, “Marco, will you go with me to the pharmacy?” Marco was a little surprised she didn’t ask for Jean, “Of course, um David would you mind staying with Jean? We’ll come right back here but he’s using the bathroom right now.” David smiled, nodding, “Take care of my girl, Marco.” Marco grabbed his wallet, “Let’s go, Mika.” 

**************

At the pharmacy she spoke with a doctor in broken English. She wouldn’t let Marco translate for her and he found that strange. However, she may be experiencing personal problems. Feminine needs weren’t always easy to handle without feeling shamed even for a strong woman like Mikasa. The world was ridiculous and he promised himself when he had a daughter he’d never make her feel shamed. Mikasa walked over to him, face pale, “I have to buy something before they’ll give me the medicine.”Her words were rushed, shoulders tight, and cheeks red. Marco wore his trademark smile, that was a very odd request of them to make and he picked up on the hint, “Mikasa, whatever is going on, it’s fine.” She looked up, “Really?” Marco nodded, “Yes. I’m not here to judge but to help.”

Mikasa nicked her head towards one of the isles and Marco’s eyes became wider and wider and wider and- he could not believe where they were heading. She grabbed a box and led him to the back where an employee unlocked a small private bath. Mikasa entered and Marco smiled his same assuring smile while he standed there waiting for her. The employee, an older gentleman with dark mocha colored skin and kind eyes smiled, “Grazie.” He patted Marco’s back and headed to the front.

Marco waited, he waited a long time. After twenty minutes he knocked, “Mikasa?” She unlocked the door and he entered. She was crying on the toilet as he squatted by her. She turned, crying harder and wrapped her arms around his neck, “Marco.” She sobbed and cried and cried as he held her, “I’m scared.” He understood, “I know, I know and that’s okay. It’s okay to feel like that or even mad, Mikasa.” “I am mad.” “I would be to.” “It’s not fair.” “I know.” “This is hard.” “Well, it’s just between us and I wont tell a soul. Take some time, think about your options. Mika, I know how this is going to sound but think about _you_. I know you’ll want to think of everyone but you but this is about _you._ It’s your choice. This is for you to decide and only you.” Mikasa heard Marco’s words and knew he was right. She was just really scared, mad, and emotional. She shuddered at a thought. _Why was she thinking of that again?_ Marco continued to soothe her as she came to terms with everything. She was happy to have him and he was happy to help.

**************

Back at the apartment David and Jean were laying in the floor listening to music and smoking pot. How did this happen, one might ask? It all started when Jean, clad in red boxer briefs, ripped black sabbath tshit, and messy two toned hair, top freshly bleached nearly white, emerged from the bathroom. David was reading the newspaper and when Jean stumbled in to the small kitchen living room he folded it staring seriously, “Mikasa is sick.” Jean’s brows furrowed, “Wow, she never gets sick. Marco go with her?” “Yep.” “So, David…” “Yes?” “I’ve got a lot of pot, some good tunes, and Marco has been on me lately about the future and I kind of want to freak the fuck out, _am_ freaking the fuck out.” 

David smirked, folding his paper neatly, “Well, I can help you with the pot, the music we split 50/50, and I just had a talk about the future with Mikasa and now I am freaking the fuck out, too.” Jean smirked and thus, they barely noticed that almost two hours had passed since they left to head to a store less than five minutes away walking.

When Marco opened the door he was pretty livid, the entire hall smelled. He was shocked and more enraged when he noticed David was also taking part in this behavior. Of course, this was mostly because he was overly sensitive about Mikasa and how she might react to this scene but she seemed to snap out of her haze and handle it much better than him. She wasn’t angry at David like he’d have been and that must be a side-effect of her ever cool and calm manner, “David,” her cool tone cut through the music.

  
“You know that it would be untrue   
You know that I would be a liar   
If I was to say to you   
Girl, we couldn't get much higher   
Come on baby, light my fire   
Come on baby, light my fire   
Try to set the night on fire”

David’s eyes were blood shot, shirt above his naval as his hands made loose circles on his stomach, Jean tried to sit up, falling over lazily, and David snorted a him before looking at Mikasa like she was the world, “Miki, come on over and take a hit.” Marco wished Jean would look at him like that. He looked at Mikasa like Marco looked at a pack of thin mints after he watched too much lifetime and got emotional, “Jean, I cannot believe you.” Jean snapped his eyes to Marco, “Baaaaaabe.” “Just saying Babe does not make me less angry.” “But, Babe, come on. Join me. We’ve got one week left, half our money is gone gone gone. But the pot…it’s here here here.” Jean pouted while David rolled his head lazily to the side smirking and touching her calf, “Mikasa, you always light my fire.” Mikasa snorted and walked over to the chair, legs crossed, looking resplendent in her fashion, hair longer and almost at her breasts now. She looked to Marco as she always did, like a strong independent woman, a partisan, a resistance fighter, a goddess, and truly beautiful. She’d be fine, right?

  
“The time to hesitate is through  
No time to wallow in the mire  
Try now we can only lose  
And our love become a funeral pyre  
Come on baby, light my fire  
Come on baby, light my fire  
Try to set the night on fire, yeah  
You know that it would be untrue  
You know that I would be a liar  
If I was to say to you  
Girl, we couldn't get much higher.”

  
“Come on baby, light my fire  
Come on baby, light my fire  
Try to set the night on fire  
Try to set the night on fire  
Try to set the night on fire.”

“Jean,” Marco walked over, “we gotta go eat. Pull yourself together. You too, David. I expected more from you.” David frowned, “I don’t like it when Marco is mad at me. You’re my favorite person, Markio. Don’t be mad at me. It hurts me. I feel wrong.” Jean rolled over slowly, looking at David seriously, “I know, the same…ditto man.” He looked at Marco batting his lashes to which Marco merely snorted and leaned down to kiss him, “you piss me off.” Jean smiled lazily, "I don't know how you stand me." "It's true love."

****************

They went to local pizza shop and started discussing Marco and Jean’s time in Nashville. Apparently, Jean was still seriously considering asking Levi to be in his band. They were also feeling the pressure of living with two married couples. "It makes me feel like we aren't moving quick enough and I don't like that because what if I'm not ready? I'm a kid, right? Marco is grown basically but I'm wearing band tshirts and barely bathing and they have joint checking." Mikasa was feeling the same way but for another reason entirely. 

She knew David was the one and normally she'd frown on Eren and Armin's path to alters and kids but after seeing the past like she had and knowing how they'd never been able to finish anything or even start anything she didn't mind the whole get married while still working on a bachelor's degree. However, for herself, the children part still made her squirm. She had never really wanted them and had entertained the idea only recently and one was definitely her cut off. She did know looking at the past helped put things in to perspective, “Well, I suggest you two finally do it, you know swap blood, and look at the past because that will prepare you.” Jean closed his mouth and thought about it. Mikasa was the end all to be all as Marco watched their exchanges. Jean would take her world like law.

David and Jean ate ravenously as Marco and Mikasa exchanged looks here and there. He was unsure if she was going to snap and kill David or not because he would have already smothered Jean with that dirty red bandana he was wearing right now like some sort of Rosie the Riveter. _God, I love this man, I love him so much even the things I dislike I fucking loooove them._ He might have still killed him though, given the day’s revelations. She instead was cool, calm, and collected like she was at the hotel. But, it seemed she was definitely planning something and Marco would just let her figure it out and be there if she needed to talk.

Mikasa answered her phone that suddenly dances across the table with vibration, “Hey, yeah?.........When?....Okay well we’re in the same hotel as Jean and Marco so if y’all are at the same place we can meet you all there in like, the lobby or something…..We’ll yeah you can come here. I’ll send the address. We’re actually in this café pizzeria? It’s laid back and has a coffee shop attached?....I don’t know it’s Italy maybe this makes sense to them. Okay….love you, bye.” Mikasa hung up, “Levi and Eren are coming over here in just a few minutes.” Jean snorted, “Fucking Jaeger and his fucking face.” David rolled his eyes, “You’re his best friend, don’t be so mean.” “AM NOT!” “You are certainly his best friend and you love him, deeply.” “You wanna fight?” “You’d lose.” A chorus of ooooohhhh was heard around the table. Mikasa smiled, “I had no idea pot made you aggressive?” “It just kind of primes me for other stuff. I don’t get super mellow like Jean does. Instead, I want more, more, more. Drugs, alcohol, I make bad choices that Levi normally instigates,” “You get tattoos he picks out.” “I get tattoos and I just get really aggressive about things and junk and stuff.” She grinned, “I can see.” 

When Levi and Eren showed up it was to create utter chaos. Levi and Eren had clearly taken a few shots and done some long lines off the back of a toilet because not only was David accosted by a smiling Levi who climbed him like a tree but Eren was screaming out directions to Armin and Erwin while leaning on the bar knocking over all the displays and dropping his phone cracking the screen to which Levi laughed maniacally proclaiming, “Death to the Iphone! You never see people hold up their Android and it’s screen is crack in a billion tiny pieces of inferior operating system horror! You’re getting an android now just like we agreed” Eren was aghast, “NO UH WHY?” Levi got off of David leaning forward, “Because you’re on my plan, wife. You get what I give you.” Eren pouted, “BOO! BOO YOU WHORE!”

Jean snickered, “You’re such a fuck up Eren.” “Na uh, Kirschface horsie.” “That was lame.” “You’re lame.” “I can eat fire.” Marco’s eyes widened, pleasant smile stretched, voice calm like a mother and insistent, “Jean! No!” Eren slammed his phone down pushing Levi to the side, “I CAN EAT MORE FIRE THAN YOU.” Jean stood up pulling at the collar of Eren’s shirt, “PROVE IT!” “LEVI! LEVI!” Levi had sat back down on David’s lap and was now eating what was left of the crust of David’s pizza, “WHAT BRAT?” “I need you lighter,” Eren mumbled trying to look as innocent and appealing as possible. Levi scrutinized him, “For what?” “To eat fire.” “Hmmm,” Levi’s eyes narrowed more. After a few seconds he surprised everyone at the table, “Okay.” 

Levi removed the lighter but it was snatched away by Marco’s deft hands, “Nope, nope, nope, nope.” Eren whined and looked to Levi for help. Levi merely squinted more in concentration, “Nope, you know if he said it was a bad idea then…. Yeah, it probably was bad. Marco is perfect. His judgement is that of a sage.” Marco laughed as Jean leaned over hugging him, “I love this man.” He kissed his cheek and then stood up, “Let’s go some where!” Eren pouted more, kicking him with his foot under the table, nagging tone in his voice, “Erwin and Armin aren’t here yet.” Levi rolled his eyes at Mikasa and she had no idea what made him choose her, “Gawd I don’t want to wait. Let’s go to a rave.” Eren and Jean cheered as Marco and David merely grinned in good humor, “Achki, I would love to rave with you. Perhaps you could share a white dust with me?” Levi smiled wickedly, “Oh yes, like good old Israeli nights. Mikasa?” Mikasa shook her head, “I’ll take it easy and just dance sober.” 

Eren walked over, “Why?” “Because I’ve just not felt well lately.” “Really?” “Yes.” “You never get sick, Miki.” She shrugged, “Been an intense couple of months, bro.” Eren smiled, thrilled, “Bro.” “Yeah, you my bruh.” “Bruuh.” “Bruh.” Levi walked over with Jean, both throwing their arms around their shoulders, “Let’s go homos” Levi began, “And Homoettes,” Jean finished. They all decided to text Erwin and Armin the address and head to the rave.


	82. Italy Prt.2 The Joy of Living

To say Armin had been having some post traumatic stress would be putting it lightly. His mind was a sea of words, loosly related, convoluted, and flashes of white hot pain mixed with passionate shame. His childhood from all of his lives was pretty bleak but the trend was always them: those people with their cult church and his fucked up parents. His parents once flew away in a hot air balloon. Shit, that was fucked up. He was now back in reality for a few seconds, music filling his ears, the black and white light washed his features in the strobe. His eyes were heavy, drugged and drunk, shining ice blue in the light with long blond lashes catching the light in a mesmorizing way. His cheek delicate and lips blanched. His hair feel thickly into wet points on his shoulders from sweat and the occasional blast of water from a hose on the crowd. His chest echoed with the hollow pulsation and he understood for once what the song _Jerusalem of Gold _meant, _through the trees winds blow, without a soul inside.___

Sometimes, he thought it would just be easier to let it all go but he couldn’t. He needed to make a plan. He needed plans for plans and plans for those plans. He kept thinking about the missing piece. What was the missing piece that they never ever found? Even when he made it so that they could not win they still prevailed somehow. Erwin appeared, hands holding two drinks, his eyes drinking him in like he’d never seen such a sight in his life. Armin smirked but inside he was drowing again. What would he do when they got back? How were they going to end this quickly, and finally. He didn’t mind repeating life, to be honest. If that meant that they could do it without dealing with Reiss then he’d get to enjoy endless lifetimes of Erwin, sweet handsome Erwin.

Erwin’s lips were on his neck as he used his impressive size to keep other dancers away. Armin moved against him, hands tangled in his hair and lips brushed against his ear as he stood up on the tips of his toes. Erwin and Armin had taken molly and now they were coming down. Armin didn’t want to bump again but he might have to. Mikasa was holding all of their drugs like a mom. She kind of was a mom to them all. Levi appeared, lip bleeding and eyes shining, “Go take care of my man and I’ll watch yours.” Eren was currently dancing near the stage wielding an oversized pool float as a weapon. Jean was with him, shirtless and screaming as the music pumped, Marco crowd surfing somehow gracefully like a tiny tan angel come to rescue us all. Mikasa’s head bobbed among the masses as she laughed at something David said to her.

Levi took over as Erwin smiled and headed towards Eren who was very aware he was being sent over because the look he gave him screamed debauchery. They were all having as much fun as possible. Levi’s hands gripped an easy to move Armin. He pulled him close, breathed him in. It was when their lips touched his mind stopped and he focused on one single thought, blood. Armin pulled back, “Velvel,” he panted, suddenly too hot. Levi held his face, lips a mere inch away, “Yes, mami?” Armin wheezed, “I’m going to have an attack.” Levi’s body went stiff in the sea of people, pieces of confetti floated down around them, “A panic attack?” “Yes.” Armin’s rasped out and Levi’s eye widedned, “Come with me.” He took Armin through the people and to the outside where the street air washed over them.

Armin’s chest was tight but not as bad as it had been inside. His knees were weak and he started to fall but Levi had him, “Sit.” He pulled them both to a stoop nearby. They would be let back in so he wasn’t too worried about them noticing they was gone or not. Armin was really pale, “Is it the drugs?” “I’m just remembering things from my childhood.” Levi snorted, rolling his eyes and looking disgusted, “That’s David’s department.” “It was in the water.” “The what?” “What turned them into titans.” Levi was taken aback when Armin started to cry, “I’m not sad it’s just…what happens.” Levi understood, he sometimes cried in an attack. “But what are talking about in the water?” “You remember when Connie’s mother became a titan and we found out that people were turning into titans in different towns?” “Yes?” “It was in the wells, Levi. It was the dark ages. It was….they blamed it on the Jews….they…” “Armin, stop.” “The reaper with it’s scythe it had fumes and,” “stop…stop…stop please. I can’t Armin.” Levi really was too high for that but Armin grew more upset, “Nooo, no Levi don’t tell me to stop please.” “I can’t right now.” Armin crawled into his arms, “Please.” 

Levi held him tightly, rocked him back and forth, “This is not something I should say as a doctor,” Armin whined, “Say it,” “But we should do more drugs, get drunk, be numb, and then take this up later. Okay?” Armin whinned against him but relented, “I’ve had molly.” “I have coke.” “Can I mix them?” “Yeah but not a lot.” “Drinks?” “I’d stick to clear liquor.” “Will you make out with me too?” Levi snorted stahding up and picking him up walking towards the door, “Maybe but I wouldn’t count on it.” Armin laughed but he was still overwelhmed. Levi took him into a bathroom inside and shut the door. 

The light was blue neon and it was a single closet with a toilet. Heavy press wooden pocket door with a metal sliding lock. They were totally cut off and could hear someone having sex in the closet next to them. Graffiti painted the wall in all sorts of patterns, “Levi, fuck me in here.” Armin’s hands pulled at his shirt. 

Levi smiled devilishly, “Nope.” Armin sat on the toilet, chest still tight, “Why?” “Because my luck you’ll have a full blown episode by the time I get my cock out and you’ll get shitty tears on my shirt. I ain’t got time for bitch ass shit like that.” Armin barked a laugh, “Damn, that’s so crushing.” Levi had the bag open. He took the tip of his key and dipped into the powder. “Here, bump it. About three bumps should do it for you.” Armin bumped thrice and then Levi did the same, “Why are you keeping me away, Levi?” Armin mumbled feeling much more like himself, “Did I do something?” 

Levi stepped forward, “No.” He shook his head running a hand on the door, “No, this is me. It’s my problem, not you.” Armin gave him a sad look, “The past?” Levi sighed, “Is it bad I want you so much?” Armin huffed, “Flattery is always welcome with me. And to answer your question, no. Because Erwin and I, well, we’ve also had a lot of emotions about you two lately. Mostly, we’re closer than ever before. Erwin’s hands are always on me and I crave him every second but we can’t deny that we’re kind of waiting for us all to come home again and get back into the normal routine of cuddling, cooking, loving, relaxing, and all of that. I feel, I feel so much for you and Eren. But, Levi, please, don’t turn me away. Levi you are…” 

Levi bent down and pressd a kiss to his forhead, “Let’s party.” He slid the door open and into the crowed they went, hands on one another, bodies pressed against each other and hips moving to the music. David appeared nearby with Mikasa, he had a hand full of shots, shirt missing, body covered in glitter, and in Armin’s opinion he looked like a bedazzled King David at a gay pride parade and that made him laugh and happy. Levi and David decided to get into a dance off while Mikasa and Armin danced nearby. She was smiling, laughing, Armin felt so nice seeing her like that. They all danced in relative peace. However, the remix of I’m a Barbie Girl and Watch me Nay Nay was where things got intense. 

Both Erwin and Eren joined them as Marco and Jean followed seconds later. They’d gone to the other side of the party and getting through that crowd was a lot harder. It was worth it though, because Jean was now decked out in a glowstick crown and Marco had wings that were made of fake Euros. Erwin and Eren were wearing pool floaties on their arms, legs, and tiny tubes on their waists. Erwin chuckled at the look Armin gave and said dashingly, “Don’t worry, you’ll be cutting me out of this in a few hours, baby.” Levi stared, “I can’t believe you got it on without popping it you big ass tree man.” Eren threw himself into the nay nay and Jean took it as a personal challenge to impress Marco and the world with his supurb dance skills. David wasn’t one to be outdone and when a remix of Jump came on he and Levi put them all to shame with a cameo breakdance by Erwin. 

After raving Jean decided as they walked through the park he would par-core on the walls. Marco was amused but he feared Jean would really hurt himself. Erwin was wandering through the fountain while Levi rode on his shoulders like a child. Eren and Mikasa were making flower crowns as they sat on the grass and Armin and David were swinging on the children’s play equipment. Mikasa watched David among the landscape of children’s primary colors and equipment. Mikasa turned to Eren who was still high but not drunk. “Do you think I’d make a good mother?” She said off hand as he finished the crown, “Now?” “Yeah.” “I do.” “Why?” Eren gave her a curious look, “Are you still….upset about when you were 16?” She shook her head, “No, I wasn’t ready to be a mother. I was a little kid. But, I’m still a little kid now, right?” Eren was quiet for a bit.

“No, because you’re 21 Mikasa. You’re not a little kid but a young adult and let’s be honest, you’ve always been much wiser than your age. Right now, I think you’d be a great mother, as good as a mother as anyone could ever be because no one is ever ready. You’ve always been super responsible and you like having something to take care of.” He cleared his throat loudly, “Like me. Please stop taking care of me and take care of David or someone else.” He snickered and she laid back on the grass with him, “Without me you’d be dead so many times over.” Eren held her hand, “I know. But, if someone were to hand you a baby today I know you’d be super freaked the fuck out but you’d be good. It’s just how you are.” Mikasa looked up at the stars and tried to understand. Eren held her hand tighter, “We accept the love we think we deserve. You deserve the love of a child, of a husband, of a family. Your own flesh and blood family that you can protect.”

The group made there way to another food truck, something Levi and Eren found hilarious given that they always seemed to end up at them when out. Erwin and Armin sat on the street curb eating their food. They looked pretty normal till Jean noticed that Armin had an icecream cone, “HEY! WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?!” Armin licked slowly up the side as Jean ran over, “Give it up, Arlert.” Armin giggled, face sly, “There’s no Arlert here. If you had a daddy you’d have ice cream too.” “I don’t need a daddy, I am the daddy.” Marco made noise of derision, “I take care of you, Jean. I’m daddy.” “Doesn’t matter,” Armin’s little voice sang, “Because my daddy got me icecream and neither of you have any.” Jean reached out to take the icecream but Erwin’s hand prevented him by crushing his wrist. Erwin’s face was so sweet it made the moment even more intense, “I wouldn’t even try. Baby want’s icecream, baby gets icecream. You better walk on o’er there, boy.” 

Eventually, everyone got ice cream and they all made it back to their hotel and respective rooms. Armin and Erwin had a room that shared a wall with Mikasa and David and as Mikasa changed and David climed into bed they could hear everything going on in their room; unfortunaltly, this was of an adult nature and they’d rather not hear. David embraced Mikasa as she crawled in bed with him. His body was warm and heavy as she curled in to him. She thought about a thousand things but specifically about when she was 16.

Mikasa and Jean had fooled around a bit before he started dating Eren. She was hurt but she understood that because of her hesitation in being open with him about her feelings she been the reason he’d given up on her and allowed himself to fall for her adopted brother. They were all so dysfunctional but it was when she missed her period she panicked. 

She always had horrible menstruations and the fact that she was missing one was part blessing, part curse. She went the next day out of town a few cities over to a free clinic where she waited for what felt like hours until they took her blood. When it came back, she found out she was pregnant. “You’re only about 9 weeks.” Mikasa knew that two months wasn’t a long time but she also knew that she had to do a lot of thinking and it needed to be clinical, “Can I get an abortion here?” The woman’s eyes nearly popped out of her head.

“My child, don’t say such. All life if a miracel.” The woman looked positively aghast and after a long speech that involved her somehow percuring a small rubber fetus which she gave to Mikasa made her hold in her hands Mikasa had had enough. She stood up off the bed, “Okay, I’ll go somewhere else.” Mikasa didn’t need that shit. She put the fetus on the dash board of her car and after making a few calls she somehow managed to find a clinic that would take her. She wasn’t unaware of just how lucky she was to be able to do this and afford it. She didn’t want to consider the alternative.

As she pulled up she started to feel scared. Not so scared she wanted to stop but she was alone and what if there was a problem? She called Eren, she could only call him and not be judged. When he got there she’d already gone back and he sat down to wait. He’d felt sick when she told him that she was doing it today. He thought she needed to wait but that wasn’t Mikasa. She took something and turned it over a few times and then BAM. She was sure and he was just hoping she’d be okay and recover quickly. As she appeared he took her in his arms, left her car, and they went to Armin’s home where no one was staying except Armin.

Now she was in a completely different situation. Yes, she’d gotten emotional and upset after it but that was due to a lot of things like her age, hormones, and the fact that she’d never really experienced anything like that, morality, life, etc... Mikasa stroked David’s face lovingly while he went to sleep. Her questions about God, about faith, the future, everything she asked him over their relationship he always met it with the same level headedness. And then this last conversation about kids and living a Jewish life. He was so patient with her and let her decide everything that had to do with her and she suspected he’d let her decide for them as well. He would do anything for her and she liked that. She smiled to herself and fell asleep. 

****************

The next morning they were getting ready for day two of their last week. David had woken up and started laughing loudly about how Mikasa was covered in glitter. She reminded him that it was he who had brought the glitter in the bed. David held her down rubbing his glittery body all over her before slowly, methodically, moving down her body to rest between her legs, treating her to a little self love that she was very thankful for but Armin and Erwin were not by their pounding on the wall. _Hypocrites,_ she thought.

Mikasa and David bathed and went downstairs for breakfast. Everyone was pretty hung over but made it in one piece. Eren and Jean were fighting over toast, Marco and Armin talking about books, Levi was sitting in Erwin’s lap with cat ears on which Mikasa did not ask about, and David was…well, as always, pleasantly friendly and completely focused on her and their friends. He was never far from her, never cruel, always patient, kind to others and to her, smart, strong, loyal, true and just. Mikasa was caught up in his perfect cheek bones, gentle smile that was so like Marcos but much softer, his eye lashes, his hands, his arms, his entire soul radiated strength and love and support and she loved him for everything he was, is, and would be.

Armin and Marco were now quietly staring at Mikasa and David as David buttered his bread obliviously and Mikasa ignored hers. Jean and Eren were also now aware of the silence and staring between the two. Erwin and Levi were basically oblivious as well and were arguing about fish. Marco was sure they were still pretty high or maybe they’d gone insane? Either way the table was much quieter than previously and after a while Erwin and Levi became quiet too.

David stilled, he looked up and around the table at everyone till he got to Mikasa, who was by the looks of it, in very deep thought. David put his knife down and his bread, “Miki…did I do something or?” He mumbled self consciously. Mikasa blinked out of her daze as he waited a reply, “Will you marry me?” She asked, she just opened her mouth and asked because she was sure and why wait? They were fated together and she didn’t care about traditional anything. “I mean it, David. Will you marry me today?” Everyone at the table was now in a shock that was beyond words. David starred, “Here? In Italy and today?” Mikasa nodded, “We can go to a chapel.” “Oh God…not a chapel. But, don’t you want a dress?” “It doesn’t matter.” “H-how about tomorrow and we can plan today?” “That’s fine.” “Is…..is it?” “Yes, today or tomorrow.” “Okay….you really asked me to marry you?” “Yes. Do you say yes to my proposal?” “Of course I’m saying yes.” “I love you.” “I love you, Mikasa Ackermann.” He smiled surging forward to kiss her. The table broke out into awes and ooos and cheers and claps. Mikasa knew this was what she wanted and Eren knew that, too. He raised his coffee to her.

**************

Armin had helped her find a wedding dress while Eren and Jean secured an after rehearsal space. David and Levi went to find a rabbi and write up a Ketubah. Erwin just chauffeured Armin and Mikasa around and threw money at problems to make them go away like a good Big Daddy. He lost no opportunity to shower Armin with kisses and he made sure Mikasa got into a dress shop that would take care of her every needed there and in a fast manner. Armin was who she wanted with her right now and she was thankful he’d always been such a great friend, but Erwin was quickly proving to her that he was maybe the more important person to have around for things like this.

“I like this one.” “Too much tule.” “This one?” “No…it’s so sexy.” “You are sexy.” “Should I do modest?” “Ummm he never asked you to do that Miki and you’ve never wanted to do that.” “I know but…” “What about?” “This is perfect.” “O M G IT IS.” Mikasa smiled, “I know. I’m really excited.” Armin smiled hugging her. He pulled back popping a piece of cake in his mouth and drained his champagne glass, “When you know, you know.” She nodded, “Yep.” ************* 

It all went smoothly at the local temple. The rabbi gave them a quick marriage, but one with much feeling. Mikasa cried as she stood in her [dress](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/5f/81/e3/5f81e3d2b6a8b6503b5c5ceffb9a6373.jpg) and David looked like he was in heaven. They were just as sweet as they cut their [cake](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/6c/67/a0/6c67a073366fc758771f0b5e04d1cc33.jpg) together and stood for pictures. Levi and David had made an impression on the Rabbi and the group was likable to the temple staff. This was a special day and they all felt it was absolutely perfect.

Levi and Eren looked on fondly while reminiscing about their own wedding just two short months ago while Erwin and Armin were becoming impatient about theirs. At the reception they danced with one another while Erwin whispered in Armin’s ears how much he loved him and could not wait for it to be their day.

Strangely enough, Jean was catching the fever as he watched Marco dance at the small [reception](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a1/b4/0a/a1b40abf96c7d7fcebb9f9a6d33230d8.jpg) space, an open air garden next to the temple. They had bought food and sweets and brought it in. The staff had warmed it for them, kindly and they were very impressed that Eren had managed to keep the food kosher. They were all a little curious about the very serious Jewish man and his rambunctious convert husband. 

They were also in awe of the blond and his lover. He reminded them of someone they couldn’t place but his relationship with the green eyed devil, they called him that with affection was clear and they assumed he was a convert too. All in all, the reception had a few more guests than the group planned for because they’d made such fast friends making it even more clear that this wedding was a blessed and fated event.

*******************

That night David and Mikasa relaxed after making love, the windows open and the breeze carried with it the scent of the sea. They felt very nostalgic and David’s hands roamed her thigh as she sat against the headboard and stroked his head in her lap, “David?” David smiled and she could see the corners of his lips lift up, “Yes, my beautiful wonderful sweet wife?” Mikasa stroked his hair, “David, I need to tell you something.” He rolled on his back smiling, “Tell me.” She paused, “I’m pregnant.” She whispered the words and she was scared.

David’s eyes narrowed, “What?” She nodded, “You heard me.” He sat up suddenly turning to face her on the bed, “Are you serious? You’re carrying a child? Our child? You’re pregnant right now?” Mikasa huffed, “Yeah, I wouldn’t have lied about something like this. I’ve been freaking out.” “When did this happen?” “Probably when we were on the ship.” “Really?” Mikasa nodded, “There was that…one time we slept together and we didn’t have a condom.” David’s face lit up in understanding, “Oh…yes, but you said you were on birth control. Well, that is 100% effective.” “I know…that must be the case because we’ve used protection ever since.” “Wow….and you always took it correctly.” “I did. But, you know it went down with the ship.” “Should I….be excited or?” “What do you mean?” “Well, I feel like you’re telling me that you felt trapped. We didn’t plan this.”

Mikasa stared at him as she thought about what he was saying, “I thought about having an abortion but I don’t want one. I’m not trapped and I’m not unhappy at all. I wanted to marry you, have this baby with you, and live life with you till the end of my days. I’m just scared right now because it’s a huge commitment and we’re also living in two cities, we have to think about your job because I am much easier to work with. We have a lot of dirty work to finish before we can relax and well, we’ll never relax now because we’re having a tiny person.” She started to cry and he wiped her tears, “Work will rejoice in the fact I am married and becoming a father. I will simply request to live full time in Maria with the occasional trip to Atlanta here and there. I don’t want to go back in to the field like I had been. It’s going to be fine because I’ve been saving and we can buy a house, a condo, whatever you want. I’m an old man and I’m ready to be a dad.”

Mikasa was still emotional but he really did make her feel better about it all, “You understand that I’m…I’m sometimes..” “Mikasa, I understand you’re worried you’re not maternal enough and I don’t think that at all nor does anyone else especially Eren will probably be relieved you’ll have someone else to take care of. But, let me put it this way: You do you. I’ll support you, be there as your partner, and I’ll love you and our child more than words. I’ve only ever wanted a family that was my own and I know you’ve wanted that too. It’s normal to be scared but honestly…we can watch some TrueTV specials and see that we are by far not the worst parents in the world.” 

Mikasa started to laugh, “True. Eventually the others will have kids too and we’ll be the wise experienced ones.” She laughed wiping her nose as he took her face kissing her sweetly, “Miki?” “Yeah?” “Can I wake everyone up and tell them and never shut up about it because I’ve never been so happy in my life. I am as Armin says _hastag winning._ ” Mikasa burst into laughter, “Yes, but be nice to Levi. He really wants a kid.” David nodded, “Don’t I know it.”

David crawled off the bed opening their door heading to Erwin and Armin’s room. He knocked loudly and soon Erwin ripped the door open, “Is everything okay?” David paused, “Go to my room and wait. I have an announcement. I must get the others.” Erwin gave him a scrupulous look but relented and he carried a sleepy Armin in his arms in to their room where Mikasa was anxiously waiting as well. When David had everyone in the room he turned to them all in a sweeping gesture and clapped his hands together, “Well, I wanted to tell you all together that Mikasa and I have some news.” Eren’s eyes were sleepy and tired, Armin groaned, Jean seemed to immediately look at Mikasa like he was peering into her soul, “Noooo” he exclaimed as Marco elbowed him in the stomach, “Mikasa and I are going to be parents.” 

The room didn’t erupt into sound until a few moments went by. Marco smiled and was the first to embrace Mikasa. Erwin smiled too, and even more so feeling Armin squirm wanting to be let down. Eren nearly feinted in surprise. He rushed forward to take Marco’s place, tears of joy rolling down his cheeks to mingle with her own. Levi smiled but was a tad bitter. He knew that was wrong and he shook it away so that he could embrace David, his brother, who was now giving him a flesh and blood niece or nephew in a few months. He was going to be an uncle by blood and that thought alone brought him to tears. Armin cried, they all cried, they celebrated, and they were all for a moment completely lost in the joy that was living.


	83. 1789-1794 la Terreur

  
“It's the time of the season   
When love runs high   
In this time, give it to me easy   
And let me try with pleasured hands.”

  
“(To take you in the sun to) Promised lands   
(To show you every one) It's the time of the season for loving.”

Jean’s hands gripped Marco’s taunt ass squeezing the mounds with care and love. He moved closer, lips sliding across his collar bone sensually. He breathed against his skin, hot and heavy. Marco rolled over more on his back, opening himself up to Jean who was suddenly more intent on leading than being led. Jean’s teeth grazed his collar bone again and then he bit down, rolling his hips slowly and grinding down on Marco and his straining erection. Marco gasped leaving himself open to Jean who invaded him, penetrated him, and consecrated him.

  
“What's your name? (What's your name?)   
Who's your daddy? (Who's your daddy?)   
(He rich) Is he rich like me?   
Has he taken (Has he taken)   
Any time (Any time)   
(To show) To show you what you need to live?”

__  
“(Tell it to me slowly) Tell you what  
(I really want to know)   
It's the time of the season for loving.

Jean’s metal cross, gold and heavy at the end of an old forest green glass beaded rosary Marco’s family gave him as a symbol of their gang, stimulated and tantalized Marco’s hot skin as did his nipple rings that drug across his own nipples as he moved against him. He pulled at his bottom lip, licking the lip between his teeth slowly, deliberately. Marco shuddered and moaned deeply as Jean’s left hand came between them to stroke him slowly, teasingly, thumb rubbing circles around the slit. Jean’s nose rubbed gently against his as he sighed heavily. Every nerve in Marco’s body was alive, firing synapse after synapse. Jean’s hand left his aching cock to head between his legs. Marco hissed in pleasure head rolling back to the side, mouth open, and eyes wide open.

__  
“What's your name? (What's your name?)  
Who's your daddy? (Who's your daddy?)   
(He rich) Is he rich like me?   
Has he taken (Has he taken)   
Any time (Any time)   
(To show) To show you what you need to live?”

__  
“(Tell it to me slowly) Tell you what  
(I really want to know)   
It's the time of the season for loving.” 

Marco moved his head back around to see Jean smirk as he took one of his nipples in his mouth, rolling his tongue around and over the sensitive nub. Marco bucked down on his fingers, shuddered as he felt Jean graze his favorite spot inside of himself. Jean tortured him slowly, deliberately, cruelly. When Marco was officially a whining mess he turned him over, hand coming to massage his neck which he knew was Marco’s most vulnerable spot. Marco let out one low long deeply satisfied moan that made Jean’s cock twitch in anticipation. He spread his legs wider, hands skirting underneath to lift his hips higher for him. He eased in feeling Marco tighten around him and hissed as he relaxed into the warmth. Marco’s heady scent was driving him insane.

Marco pushed back on him involuntarily as Jean came to kiss and knead the back of his neck more. Marco bucked, shuddered, whined, squirmed, and more. He loved this power over him and to see those beautiful freckles blend, ripple, across muscles and bone was so intoxicating and inspired Jean beyond comprehension. Jean’s lips caressed him as he moved against him with love, with care, with purpose. 

They decided that morning to do it after they made love one last time as themselves. Jean wasn’t sure if anything would change or not between them but just in case maybe this would be a send off he could live with. Marco was much more positive, strong fingers rough from the brush of paper and grip of the pen, he’d stroked Jean’s face and told him it would be fine. Now he wasn’t sure if ignorance was bliss or not. Mikasa’s marriage, the pregnancy, the weddings of his friends, it all made him feel the pressure to get on with this life and to do for Marco what he was supposed to do but what was he supposed to do when he was so scared? Marco sighed, he shook all over and Jean knew he was close.

*******************

The steam of the machines flooded the senses, overcame them, skin hot, so hot and sticky it felt like it was melting off. Jean wiped his face with his handkerchief as he stumbled back from the ironing press. His father had owned this building, this company he’d built up before he died of small pox along with his siblings and half of their social circle. A tragedy of the landed aristocracy it was and he was often sent letters expressing the happiness of those who survived that he had lived. His mother was now sick with tuberculosis and he had her in the country where the air was better and she was living comfortable. He was better off than others, barely, but still. The revolution started in 1798 and now everyone lived a fairly okay life if okay was anything one could understand. Okay if having a job means that you can afford only three real meals a week. Okay was just a band-aid word people used so they didn’t have to admit that the changes they fought for weren’t coming soon enough. People were starving in the streets in record numbers. Not on Jean’s watch. 

Jean ran one of the largest factories that dealt in bulk fine fabrics, pots and pans of copper and pressed metal, and ladies gloves. He even invested in a ladies lingerie store but that was only a small department on the front with erotica and other types of books that could be sold to more prudish patrons. His childhood friend Armin ran it with his wife, Mikasa. Actually, Armin married her to save her from a life of the streets. Asian women brought in a large sum because they were considered exotic and she had been kidnapped from her home and the only life she’d ever known. Armin was a good man and really smart. He kept Jean straight and did the books for him as well.

Jean always felt like the third wheel with them. He lived in a nice apartment with them because his family left it to him along with other parts of an estate. Jean was a revolutionary, had a tattoo of 1789 on his right shoulder blade, and he was trying his best to help materialize the anti-poverty and equality measures that the revolution stood for. However, it would seem that all was turning into either stagnation or radicalism. He was constantly in fear that he’d meet an end at the razor blade of Madame Guillotine himself because he was once of the elite. Armin and Mikasa would stand for him, though. 

Antoine de Saint-Just was frequently in contact with him since they were old school mates and he made for an awkward bed-fellow in many ways what with dear ole Jacobin Robespierre, another close friend of Saint-Just who tried to force a friendship with Jean, so taken with Armin and his beautiful blond tresses that he frequently stopped by the shop and made a spectacle of his infatuation to which Saint-Just, a womanizer, found thrilling. It angered Jean endlessly.

Armin was trying to live an upright life. He was a born Jew who turned to the lord when Jean started bringing him to church with him. Mostly, he did it to avoid persecution and in fact, his parents had converted to Lutheranism before they went missing. Armin and Mikasa wanted to start a family and Maximillion’s advances were unwanted and dangerous. Jean, a self proclaimed heterosexual, had always felt protective over his effeminate best friend who was often slandered and accused of being a homosexual. Jean didn’t care if he was or not but he definitely didn’t want him to be jailed or killed. 

Jean was now pulling double work on the floor. Small pox was ruining his employment and tuberculosis was always lurking. He tried to practice what he preached and employed mostly women and younger teens to keep them off the streets. A few men around his own age worked for him but mostly they worked in the dye yards save for a few skilled machinists, his latest loses due to disease. He tried to help women mostly. They were often worse off and a few of the teens were their own kids. He even kept a daycare like area of the shop where Mikasa would keep the children during work hours. She enjoyed it and the mothers could take their breaks with their children. Meals were provided at the factory. He tried to keep 10 hour days and not 12 like others. His goal was 8 but he’d never managed that and other’s of the somewhat rich scoffed at him.

The life of privilege he was privy to was gone now and the loyalists to the King were unhappy at their less than prominent status. The clergy had to swear oaths, pay taxes sometimes, and they even weren’t as rich as before. Jean felt a smirk grace his face. Equality of people was what was all good Christians should strive for and Jean was trying to be a part of the solution and not the problem as Armin often told him to be. 

Another gust of steam from the metal machine turning out pots of lower costs washed over him. He noticed that the metal sheet cutter was going non-stop _slice,_ pause, slice, pause, another guest of steam much hotter than before, _slice slice slice slice slice slice._ “What in bloody hell is that!?” Jean screamed as he came through the white scalding steam as the machine continued to cut and slice ruining profits he needed to keep the doors open to help people to save himself from poverty and his friends. _Slice!_ A horrible sound of metal grinding against hard stone. He was blinded by steam and ran right in to a hard body who’s arms were up around their face.

Jean pushed the body forward, pissed off and hurting from the sting, his eyes watered. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you fucking crazy!? This machine costs a lot of money and we’ve only got about 10 percent of the work force here today! Production rates are important! IF YOU KEEP FUCKING UP I’LL HAVE TO SEND YOU HOME YOU TWIT!” Jean turned the machine off, pissed off at the fact it could be broken now. He pulled at the body’s white soaking shirt in to the office where he slammed him in a chair and started looking for a towel to dry the scalding hot water on his face.

“Honestly,” Jean started to grumble wiping his face, “sometimes people are so fucking stupid. What’s your name?!” The chair creaked, “Marco Bodt.” “Marco? Marco?” Jean turned around on his heel, towel still resting on his face, “I don’t have a Marco in the shop.” The chair creaked again and the sound of water dripping on to the floor, “You employed my brother. My brother died and we need the money. I’m normally in the dye yard but I was let go when the season got lean.” Jean threw the towel at him, “Wipe off.” He sat down in his chair behind the desk, “Your brother’s name?” “David.” “David Bodt….I’m sorry for your loss but you can’t just come and do someone else’s work. You’ve probably ruined the machine and you’ll never be able to pay for it.” 

Jean watched as the boy removed the towel, face shameful and repenting. His skin was brown like nuts in summer time, his hair dark warm mahogany and neatly cut, his freckles painted his features in a star spangled display that Jean felt lost in. The boy looked at him, “I’m sorry, sir. The money…I need it.” Jean felt his anger leave as he saw his innocent angelic look. He felt strange, he’d never felt like this before. Was he….having feelings for him? Noooo, that’s impossible.

“Um, well, it isn’t the end of the world, I suppose.” Jean felt himself become self conscious as the boy looked at him like a wounded puppy. He seemed shocked but relieved, “I’m so sorry, sir. I won’t do it again…please let me take over my brother’s place.” Jean just kept staring. Marco was beginning to wonder if he’d had some sort of stroke or if he was really disgusted with his request. It was when Jean caught himself, jerking in his chair and then standing up that he realized he’d get off with just a tongue lashing and maybe, just maybe, something else. “Um, you can stay. I’ll just mark you in the ledger…for my accountant.” Marco smiled sweetly and it filled Jean’s stomach with butterflies, “Thank you so much, sir. Monsieur Arlert already knows…” Jean’s eyes narrowed as he pinched the bridge of his nose, “Of course, that little devil would already know.” 

Marco stood awkwardly, “Um, thank you, sir.” He turned to go and Jean watched him as he went back to the machines and disappeared among the steam.

*******************

“They’re killing someone in the street every day for not believing in the revolution enough.” Mikasa’s cool tone came from over the counter. She was folding lace pieces into neat piles for display. Jean drank his coffee by the window looking for Armin who rounded the corner, lip bleeding and clothes ruffled. When Jean saw him in the light and the full extent of the damage he got up opening the door, “Armin!” Armin kept his head down, “Its fine. Just some…gang said I was in their territory. A gang and the other revolutionaries and from the university helped me out. I’m just…I saw my parents.” Jean stared, “You hit your head.” Armin laughed shortly, breathily, “Yeah, sounds like it but I didn’t. Um, you know Marco?” Armin looked sheepish as Jean stared more, “Yeah, what about him?” Armin looked out at the river, “His brother David, he died. They have this friend named Levi and he needs a job, Jean.” “I understand that people need to work Armin but we have to make sure we can support the people we have.” “He saved my life tonight, Jean. Please. He needs to get away from someone. He’s got a gang with Marco but he wants to leave.” “Marco is in a gang? That is the face of a gang member?! NO!”

Armin gave him an amused look, “Does his face suit you, Jean?” Jean snapped, “NO IT DOESN’T!” Armin snickered, “Well, what says you? Can Levi have a job?” Jean pouted, “He’s owed a favor, is he not? I’m sure you’ve promised’em already. Can’t renege on a man’s word like that.” Armin smiled, “Thank you, Jean.” Inside Mikasa’s eyes widened, “Armin!” Armin stood shyly as she fussed over him, he kissed her cheek and they started preparing for that night’s special show. Those who purchased the most lingerie did so in private trunk shows, not in the day time where others could see. Mikasa modeled the pieces and he wondered how she’d look when she was pregnant. Guess they’d actually have to have sex for that to happen, though.

Mikasa had been candid when at the bar that Armin never initiated anything and while she wasn’t a very horney woman, she was sometimes and he was never ever interested but he was a very loving and attentive husband. Jean had felt the urge to tell her he’d take her if she’d have him but she never did and he knew that was more than wrong to do to a friend. As he finished his coffee he went back to the shop to look over the last workers after they finished dinner. He offered gruel for breakfast, soup and bread for lunch and the same for dinner. Sometimes they had special meals on holidays and he gave them off on the Sabbath regardless of production needs with a loaf of bread to take home. Sometimes they closed for a week and they were able to take time off and he rotated those workers who did most of the metal work and dying. Once inside he saw all was as it should be.

They were all leaving except for Marco who ran in while the ladies who clean up were wiping the tables down and leaving themselves. Marco skidded to a stop, “Oh…I missed it.” Jean heard a woman scoff, “Get outta here. You gutter rat.” Marco’s kind face stayed, “I’m sorry that you hate me so, Michelle. But, even a gutter rat has to eat.” “Not one who doe’n’t work. You skipped out today and for what? To go peddle your drugs or fight for your revolution to the revolution? You’re worth not’in’ you filthy queer.” Marco looked actually pissed off and Jean watched him, enraptured by him. “Good day, madame.” He nicked his head but Jean didn’t want him to go, “Wait, Marco, I would like a word with you. Michelle, I’ll finish the clean up so you can go on to your house and visit with your kids before they go to bed.” Michelle scoffed, disgusted as she tossed the plates into the crate walking off towards her coat which Marco grabbed and held for her like a perfect gentleman.

Marco walked over slowly; he wore a simple cotton white shirt, overalls of brown heavy fabrics and leather shoes that had seen better days. “Where’s your coat, Marco?” Marco stopped surveying him cautiously, “I don’t have one.” “Why?” “Because I gave it to someone who needed it more than me.” Jean felt like his throat was closing up, “It’s getting cold.” Marco smiled, “Yeah, I’m saving up for another one.” Jean nodded heading over to clean up the mess hall portion of the factory. 

After a few awkward moments Marco spoke again, “Was there a reason you wanted to speak with me, sir?” Jean stilled, _shit,_ “Yes, you missed dinner, right?” Marco smiled a little, “Yes sir. I had other business.” “Was that stepping in to help Armin?” Marco blushed, “Monsieur Arlert is a good man.” Jean felt strange again, was he jealous at his constant flattery of Armin? No. Impossible, “Come with me to the Fleur. It’s my treat so don’t say no.” Marco’s head snapped around, eyes wide, amused smile playing at the corner of his lips, “The Fleur? I’m hardly dressed for such a place.” Jean went into his office. He grabbed a shirt and jacket from his wardrobe and came back, “Here.” Marco looked at the clothes, smiling more, “You’re serious?” “I am.” “Okay.” He smiled fully and Jean felt his cheeks warm again.

They were burning as he discarded his shirt and changed in to the clothes, “I guess I don’t look so bad they’d bar me from entering.” Jean lowered his eyes when Marco turned to him. He mumbled self consciously, “It’s not that fine an establishment.” Marco snorted, “Finer than what I’m used to.” They both turned the lights off, tomorrow the Sabbath and a day of church and rest. The door closed and they walked to The Fleur. 

****************

Marco felt awkward in the restaurant but Jean had them sat in the corner in the back out of the way near the window which showed the river. Jean told Marco to get whatever he wanted but Marco felt too out of place and Jean ordered for him. “Levi, who is he?” Marco paused, “He’s my half brother.” Jean’s brow furrowed, “You’re brother died?” Marco nodded, “My father…he got around with the ladies by the docks. David, he was also my half brother. Levi didn’t live with me growing up because he stayed with his mother and then her brother till he died. Levi’s a good man.” Jean wiped his mouth, “He’s a good man?” “A really good man, sir.” “Please don’t call me sir.” Marco tilted his head, mouth slightly open and quizzical look on his face, “Why not?”

Jean shrugged, “Because we’re not at work and I’m asking you questions that surround your private life. I extend the courtesy and chance to you as well.” Marco smiled sweetly, “Will you consider employing him?” Jean snorted, “Ah, I see. Armin has already spoken to you.” Marco nodded, “Monsieur Arlert spends time with him and therefore, I am often in his presence as well.” Jean was surprised at that, “He does? Since when?” Marco took a drink, “Since…well…it’s not very proper for me to say. I think I’ve been too loose with my lips.” 

Jean leaned forward, “I understand and I respect that but I am his friend. Nothing can change that.” Marco squirmed, “David and Mikasa were seeing each other. Armin found out and came to confront him except that he didn’t confront him like you would have thought.” Jean was shocked, “How so?” Marco smiled sadly, “He told him that if he made her happy then he’d give her a divorce and they could marry.” _What in the name of God?_ “Are you serious?” “Yes, and David was so happy that he’d been saving his money for her and their new life. Monsieur Arlert even gave him some. But, then he came down with the pox...” Marco started to wipe his face of tears, “and it was not to come true, his dreams were not to be. It was not meant to be.” “I am so sorry, Marco. I had no idea but it makes sense. I will not betray your confidence.” Marco smiled softly, wiping his face of fresh tears, “You’re a good man too.” 

Jean jerked, sputtering, “I don’t know about that.” Marco took another drink before composing himself, “We can finish the topic of my sorrows later but Monsieur Arlert told me that you run the factory because you want to help people.” “I…run the factory because I want to help my fellow man, yes.” “I think that’s saintly.” “Really?” “Yes, are you catholic?” “I am.” “Will you be in church tomorrow?” “No.” “Mmm,” Marco put his drink down, “then where will you be, Jean?” Jean’s eyes were molten gold in the candle light, “With you.” Marco blushed, his head lowered shyly as he mumbled coyly, “Dreams do come true, I guess.” 

**********************

Jean brought Marco back to the factory where he had a small apartment in the back for when his father had first built the factory and he lived in it to oversea the construction. Marco took a bath for the first time in days and Jean set to busying himself. He’d never been with a man and up to this point he’d been sure of his heterosexuality as he’d looked on at Mikasa with envy of Armin because she was not only beautiful but extremely talented and womanly. What Marco had said, about her and his brother, had shocked him beyond words. He wouldn’t say anything about it but he felt bad for them because she was hiding her pain and Armin was trying to ease it the best way he could. 

Life was hard in general but times were hard for everyone now more than usual. Life was like the sun’s rays on the horizon but no one knew if it was rising of sinking. It was like reign of terror began after the revolution, the razor blade sting cutting off heads here and there, people fighting for control and political elevation. Jean was scared of the old aristocracy, especially this one family from Germany that seemed not in the least bit upset that their status of power had diminished, in fact, it was odd how protected they were and comfortable with it all. It’s as if they were sitting back watching with calm expectation, “alles lauft nach Plan,” he’d heard them say once at a party he was invited to before the eve of the world burning. _Everything according to plan. _How fucking smug? He could never really remember their faces. They were all similar, brunette, blue or grey eyes, similar facial shape and there was one who was blonde and their mother also a blonde but she was a mistress and not very important.__

Jean heard the door open and when he turned around it was to sight of a very tan, very bruised, very naked Marco. He stood like a depiction of the perfect man in a painting. Jean’s roamed him hungrily as Marco walked forward, “Is this your first time with a man?” Jean jerked, nervously and a little miffed, “So what if it is?” He said harshly before immediately feeling bad. But, Marco didn’t do anything other than smile, _such a patient and saintly man,_ “Okay, that’s fine. Do you mind if I lead this time?” Jean relaxed, _this time?_ Marco’s hands pulled him closer as the closed around his body, “You’re a very handsome man, sir.” He whispered sincerely, sensually against Jean’s cheek. Jean’s hands moved up his back as he turned towards his ear, “Don’t call me sir.” Marco chuckled, “What do you want me to call you then?” “Jean, just Jean. It sounded perfect on your lips tonight.” Marco nuzzled lightly against his cheek, “I can do that.” “Just shut up and kiss me already.” 

***************

Levi was a hard worker, quiet, and he kept to himself and took no shit. Pretty soon Jean realized that even he would bend unconsciously to him if he were around. He didn’t mind. He liked Levi but he couldn’t help but wonder why Armin continued to keep it from him that he was involved in this web of half truths and whole lies? It wasn’t until he came home one night to an empty apartment that he decided to investigate.

Marco lived in the slums now with Levi. They shared a bedroom with another family in a run-down tent like house. Levi hadn’t come to work that day, nor did Marco and that concerned Jean. He decided to go to their home and see that they were well. When he knocked on the door the lady of the house, stringy blonde hair and blue eye shadow, a prostitute, said Marco had to finish some business out in the country and had left a letter in case he came. The letter’s contents were strange, it seemed like he was trying his best to make sure Jean went back home and stayed there or the factory. He didn’t say anything about Levi and that meant Jean would have to address that with the one person he didn’t want to: Armin.

***************

Obviously, he would be in the shop preparing books and such so he’d have to go there. When he entered the shop he heard talking in the back room where they often held private showings for their shyer customers. Perhaps a shy customer had come in early since the streets were still dead and Armin was tending to him? Jean would just have to see. The voice, however, was familiar. He saw the door open slightly and pushed it, figuring Armin was speaking with Mikasa about that night’s line up. That was better than some customer, he could be frank with him around Mikasa.

When he entered the room he saw the screens were up and the curtains pulled. He rounded the screen where they changed he nearly stumbled over himself. In the finely upholstered pink satin couch with French provincial curves of white sat Levi, shirt open, hands around the alabaster nymph perched in his lap, Armin. Jean’s face felt flush because of the implications and he thanked God he’d not walked in on something traumatizing. If he was being honest, he’d had a few lustful moments looking on at his best friend but as a good Christian he’d cut that off until recently and if he’d never met Marco he’d probably have wandered the world as previous. 

Armin turned his head, cheek dusted pink, eyes bright, the white lingerie, lacy and frilly, complimented him as Jean admired him until Levi cleared his throat, “Ar’ yer just gunna fookin stare or what?” Jean snapped out of it, “I’m looking for Marco.” Levi’s brows furrowed, “He ain’t at ‘ome?” Jean shook his head, “No, he left a letter but, it was peculiar and unlike him so I’m worried.” Levi sighed, he looked tired as he patted Armin’s bottom a few times and moved him to the side of the couch, mumbling, “Fookin’ hell.” He buttoned his shirt grabbing his things, “Armin, I’ll com’ back somet’me,” and left. Typical Levi, his presence sucked all the air out of the room.

Jean was left standing awkwardly in the room as Armin put his hair behind his ear, “Jean, I can,” Jean shook his head, “Don’t have to. I know about David and Mikasa. If you’re with Levi and she knows then…I don’t have any right to tell you how to live your life. I just hope that you’re happy and she’s happy.” Armin looked up, “Marco?” Jean flushed red, “I’m with Marco.” “Oh.” Armin smirked, “Good. He’s been in love with you for months.” Jean nearly feinted. ************* 

Whatever happened they never talked about it. Levi and Marco went missing for almost two weeks and when they returned they were even more serious than before. Jean waited till the factory closed, he told Levi to go see Armin who’d been really depressed at his absence. Levi seemed pleased Armin had missed him but Jean never knew with his emotionless face what he really thought. Marco stayed back, timidly, “I’m sorry Jean.” Jean didn’t care, he surged forward taking him in his arms, “I love you, Marco. I don’t care.” Marco laughed, “Already in love? My dreams have all come true.” Jean smirked, “You’ve been in love with me for months.” Marco giggled, “Armin, that Judas.” He smiled sweetly, kissing him back. Jean for once felt like he could breathe.

**************

Marco and Levi eventually moved in, Mikasa would eventually become pregnant and Jean didn’t really question it or anything for those two peaceful years. Levi and Marco revealed that they were running a network of revolutionaries that wanted more social equality and were putting pressure on those who were in charge. Marco told Jean that his relationship with Saint-Just and Maximillion was a liability and he had to admit that he was right. They’d started to become more and more insane with power and after a show off in a bar between Jean and Robespierre over Armin’s relationship status he knew he was seconds away from being named an enemy of the revolution. He’d lost much of his workforce based on these false accusations but he was living with two people who were against the revolution that clearly had failed the people. Their pamphlets were read by hundreds and maybe thousands of working class people. It was becoming more and more difficult to hide their identities and Jean had asked that Marco only go out when he had to.

There was a man looking for Levi that Armin had managed to keep at bay and from what he’d said it wasn’t through very proper means. It wasn’t until Jean saw them, saw the ghosts of Armin’s parents with the same man that was looking for Levi that he decided they had to leave. Jean went home, he sent for his cousin Sasha’s husband Connie to come over and once they did he left the business in their hands. He locked up the lingerie and book store, and called for a carriage. He was going to his mother’s home; she was still living in the rehabilitation center. He would take his little family out of this place and he would make sure they were safe.

Mikasa was nearing her due date and she was sitting at the window reading when he barged in stating they had to pack what was necessary and leave. She wasn’t happy but she did it and when Armin and Levi got home they didn’t question it immediately either. Marco was the last to arrive and Jean put him the carriage despite his protests, “Jean! Why!?” Jean shut the door wedged against the wall facing Mikasa. Armin sat with her while Levi and Marco were with him. “I saw your parents.” Armin’s face paled and his eyes widened, “N-no.” Jean nodded his head, “Yes, I did. They were with the man who is looking for Levi.” Armin’s mouth was in a thin grim line, “Jean, I…thank you.” 

Marco and Levi shifted, “They want us too.” Jean looked to Marco, “Who?” Marco bit his lip, “The Reiss society. They’ve been trying to get us to join and we won’t. That man works for them because he’s…obsessed with Levi. He’s been trying to get Levi to join for a long time and he’s sick, Jean. He’s a lunatic and he’s always talking about fate and changing the world but its wrong, its wrong.” Marco was more than upset as his eyes brimmed with tears. “I’m sorry, Jean. We’ve caused issues for you.” Jean sighed, “Not really. You saw the company I kept. My head was sure to roll at any time.”

******************

At the house the story spun out of control, “I started to find out that the Reiss family was looking to bring me in after David was approached and Levi meet Erwin. Erwin Smith is in love with my brother, sickeningly so. He’s been trying to buy his loyalty for years and they promised him that they could make Levi stay with him if he’d just get him to talk to them. When he found Armin, well, they changed their mind and started coming after him so Levi started to divert attention from him to himself by meeting and teasing Erwin that he would go to them. It was working…but not sustainable. They’d started threatening to take his child but then,” “It’s not mine.” Armin said suddenly and Jean’s eyes widened, “Its Levi’s. Basically, we knew they’d leave it alone if it was Levi’s and he and Mikasa don’t exactly disagree with one another which led to love in its own way so each party is happy. We’re all three together. It’s our child but not mine biologically.” 

Jean sat back in his chair, “Well, what you three do is for you to decide and I have no opinion on it other than I wish that we all remain together and happy.” They finished their dinners separating for the night. Marco and Jean went to their room, candles lit and glowing in the darkened bedchamber with a view of the vineyards. Marco removed his clothes lying across the bed, “Tell me something.” Jean smirked crawling on the bed with him, “What?” “Tell me something!” Jean smirked inches above his face, “Hmm I love you.” Marco smiled, running his hands over his body, “I love you, too.” Jean smiled, “When things get better, will you move with me?” “Where?” “England?” Marco barked a laugh, “No! Denmark,” “What? Why Denmark?” “Because they were the first to have the rights we’re fighting for. I love you, Jean Kirstein. But, let’s go somewhere where men are men.” Jean surged forward, kissing him hotly, “It’s a promise.” 

********************

The sound of the carriage on cobble stones made his bones ache more. It’d been fine for a month. They’d lived in peace and love. Mikasa gave birth to son, she named him Ciel Francois and then she died. Levi and Armin wept for days taking care of their child. Jean watched as the newsman brought word of Robespierre’s and Saint-Just’s beheadings. When the Reiss lackeys came, they were prepared. Jean was arrested as an enemy of the state, Armin disappeared with Ciel, Levi had kissed him before pushing the boat off the shore line as Jean and Marco fended off the troops from the front of the house relying on muskets and poorly made barricades inside. Marco was shot, protecting Jean. Jean’s world had become as black as endless night and frigid like the sun had died.

In the jail cell, Erwin Smith came every day pleading for him to come to his senses and reveal Armin. It came to a head when he convinced Erwin to bring him ether, something Jean had not understood but Erwin was clearly a desperate man. Jean never really understood the things they talked about. He was always on the other side of it all and Marco had often denied him any information telling him it was for his own good. But, now, maybe Marco was right because Levi strangled Erwin, strangled him dead and overdosed on the ether. Jean was alone and now he was being transported to the guillotine. 

Before his execution they’d asked him, asked him to join them and find Armin. They promised him everything under the sun but that didn’t mean anything to him because Marco was gone. Marco was the only thing he would have compromised his beliefs for. He thought about Denmark as he walked up the stairs. He thought about how Marco’s cooking had been the best he’d ever had. He reached the top and noticed his executioner was a woman and not a man. She was tall, tan, her eyes burned. He starred out at the faces as he was read his last rites. Only those of the Reiss family were present and he didn’t understand that. It was all in slow motion it seemed, he felt very far away, very wrong. Then he remembered it all and understood it. He wanted to, needed to, remember the faces of those closest to him. 

When he woke from the haze Marco’s hands were on his face, “Don’t cry, Jean.” Jean’s tears were flowing freely, “Marco, I tried to see.” Marco nodded, “I did too. I did too. Remember, they said it’d be overwhelming the first time but that things get clearer as we go on.” Jean hugged Marco, “Marco, babe, why can’t I see them?” Marco sighed, soothing Jean with his hands, “One day we’ll see them. Till then just go to sleep.”


	84. Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tiny smol chapter.

Armin clicked his heel on the airport floor in Atlanta, “DADDY!” He snapped as Erwin appeared around the corner, “Daddy, where are our bags? We’ve got to go!” Armin was feeling ancy, their wedding was only two weeks away and they were just now getting in from a long flight and were going to be driving for another two hours home. Eren and Levi had flown in to Montgomery to check in on Hannes and drive only the thirty minutes it took for them to get home from there and Armin was feeling pretty jealous right about then. He wasn’t exactly happy when they were all broken up. Erwin gathered there bags and followed a quick walking Armin out of the airport to the parking deck.

While waiting for their car to be brought around, Armin sat on their bags, “Baby?” “What?” he mumbled sullenly. “Are you…okay?” Armin snapped his head back to look at Erwin, “I’m perfectly fine.” The way Armin said fine made Erwin grin slightly, chuckling internally, “You’re gunna smush your clothes sitting on the case.” “I don’t care.” “You know, we got breakable things in there you wanted.” “I DON’T care.” Erwin just kept on pushing, “Baby, do you want something to eat?” Armin sighed, “Um yeah, when we get on the road we should get something.” “Okay, would you like fast food?” “YEAH, WHAT ELSE IS THERE?” Erwin stared as Armin glared at him like an angry and flustered cutie patootie. Erwin squared off, “Are you done being sassy?” Armin’s eyes widened, “What did you say?” Erwin stated his question again slowly, “I said, are you done being sassy?” Armin paused, “No. Never.” Erwin chuckled as Armin turned around to pout, “I’ll show you sassy.”

After a Mc Donald’s happy meal with two toys, a classic Barbie and Captain America action figure, Armin seemed in better spirits as he chomped on his burger and shoved fries in his mouth by the handful. “Erwin?” “Yes, my prince?” “Why didn’t you like my instagram selfies?” Erwin made a turn through some rough traffic onto a shoulder to take a back road, “Which ones, baby doll?” “The one I posted today and yesterday.” Erwin was focused on the road, “Oh sorry, baby. I had other stuff to do than go on instagram and like things.” Armin’s eyebrow raised, he bit the inside of his cheek, “but you went on and saw them?” “Yeah.” “And your finger couldn’t stop scrolling to hit the like button?” Erwin noted that seemed pretty passive aggressive, “I guess I’m just not pretty enough.” Yep, passive aggressive with the hard edge of a threat to get aggressive. A sigh, “I guess I was bound to lose favor in your eyes.” _Oh shit I am such a stupid man. How did I not see that trap he laid my god he will be the death of me he is so much smarter than me damn._ “Nooooo baby, you are the most beautiful person in the world.” “Well, you know, you could like a selfie every once in a while.” “Levi doesn’t like Eren’s selfies or yours all the time.” “Well Levi’s not my soon to be husband and he gets a pass because his childhood was anti technology. How dare you be so insensitive.”

Erwin was now in deeper shit, “I mean…Lee is now able to be integrated into society fully and therefore, the fact that he is now using technology means he is no longer excused from passing up the opportunity to hit a button to express his liking of a man he is in a polyamerous relationship with.” Erwin felt smug with his lawyer logic as Armin remained silent. But, then he turned to Erwin with this look of “oh really?” on his face and Erwin didn’t feel so smug, “So then why couldn’t you hit the like button?” _Fuck._ Erwin sighed, “I’ll like them when we get home.” “You’ll be much too late. I hate you.” Armin crossed his arms, “Baby,” “hate you.” Erwin pouted reaching over only to be swatted away, “Nope, I’m going to play with my toys and talk about you to Eren on text.” Erwin had to suppress his smirk, “Talk about how I’m a bad daddy?” “The absolute worst.” “Okay, sweetie pie.” “You’re in time out.” Erwin’s eyes widened and his brows raised in shock, he gasped, “Goodness….”

*************

The drive back consisted of Armin pouting and Erwin trying to avoid any negative attention on him that would make Armin bit his head off. When they were pulling up at their exit after a little less than two hours he started to sweat as he went past it. Armin saw this but said nothing because there were three exits they could take and maybe he was going to swing them by the post office or food or something. Basically, Armin tried to cut him some slack and Erwin knew as they approached that last exit that his luck was going to run out with it. It was when he pulled off on an exit and entered another highway that Armin jerked to life, “Erwin what the fuck are you doing?” Erwin cringed, “UM,” his shoulders were tight, “Baby, I have a surprise for you. Please, please don’t be angry.” Armin glared at him, “Erwin Ziv Smith,” _Oh fuck fuck fuck I am not a smart man why do I get myself in to these situations why am I so stupid damn_ , “I don’t know about you but,” Armin inhaled and it began.

“But, I’m fucking tired. I realize that this was all about having fun and makin’ memories,” his tone was so exaggerated and his hands, God, when he started talking with his hands Erwin knew he’d fucked himself so bad, “but I’ve done made my _memories_ and now I want to go the fuck home, put my shit in my big ass house, cuddle with my big ass daddy on the big ass couch, play with my big ass kitty, and enjoy my _home_ and my _family_.” Armin threw his hands down, “Why the fuck are we going to montogmery?! Erwin,” “We are NOT going to Montgomery. We’re only going to be fifteen minutes from the house.” _oh no he’s going to cry_ , “ _EEERRRWINNN, I’m tired._ ” Armin started to wipe his tears, bottom lip quivering as he sobbed rubbing his nose on his arm. “I’m” he started to wheezed, “tired.” 

Erwin was so thankful that the exit he wanted was on the horizon but he also knew something else was going on, “Baby, baby, shush, noooo don’t be like that. What’s really going on?” Armin pulled the hood of his hoodie up on his head burrowing into the seat more, “I’m upset.” He sniffled and cried as Erwin suppressed the involuntary smile born of how not funny it was and how awkward he felt, “I can tell but baby, you’re way more upset than usual.” He reached over but Armin swatted his hand away, “Shut up. I’m…I’m…Erwin I’m scared because I’m having attacks and stuff again.” A light bulb went off in Erwin’s head, _not this time,_ “Because you’re afraid you’ll have to go back on anti-depressants or mood stabilizers?” Armin shook his head, “Yeah, I don’t feel right, Erwin. I don’t feel right.” 

Erwin understood, “Baby, I understand. The only thing I can tell you is to not look at it like that. I know that’s easier said than done but I think once we get home and settle you’ll feel differently, better, and you can have a session or two with David and see how you feel after all that. Right now, you’ve got a lot going on.” Armin looked at him, tears still rolling down, sniffling, “And you’re not helping by taking me on a wild goose chase.” He stated so plainly and with such a childish voice Erwin couldn’t help but smile, “I know, I am horrible.” Armin nodded, “The worst daddy in the world.” Erwin chuckled pulling up to the building. 

It was located in the trendy section of the town. Prime real-estate and he had fought like hell for it. Armin looked around when they parked, “Erwin, what the fuck are we doing here?” Erwin unbuckled his seat belt and went to his side to open the door, “Armin, come take a look at something.” Armin slid out of the car and took Erwin’s hand as they crossed the street to a building. Erwin searched on his key ring and opened the door much to Armin’s surprise. 

Inside there were books and furniture. It seemed to be an old bookshop and as they went through they noticed that it was bit run down but had good bones. There was an apartment on the third floor, an old iron elevator, a small kitchenette on the main floor and in the back a whole other store front and a side atrium shared with another building that was currently being used as an art gallery. Armin really enjoyed it and thought it was cute but why were they here?

Back at the front Erwin turned to him leaning over a small countertop, “What do you think?” Armin looked around, “About?” “About this place?” Armin studied him, “I like it but why are we here?” Erwin grinned but he looked a bit shameful confusing Armin even more, “Erwin?” “I once told you I didn’t want you to work. Well, I am an asshole. I’m working on it. So, I started thinking before Eren and Levi’s wedding about how I could make it up to you.” Armin raised an eyebrow, he wasn’t too amused, “And?” “And, I was thinking about investing in more property and when I found this place it spoke to me. Do you know what it said?”

Armin took a step forward, “No?” “It whispered in to my ear: Armin.” Armin grinned. He was curious, “Why did it say that?” “Because,” Erwin said with much emphasis and rapport, “who else could make this place flourish as a business but you? You have such a keen eye, a love of books, a love of the finer things, I mean, you’re likable, lovable, and I know that you could make this into something really special. So, I bought it. It was a investment I couldn’t pass on because you know this area and this is a gold mine. But, I can’t run this like you can. I’m not good at things like that. I need you to do things like that because I’m utterly lost. If you don’t want to do it, I understand. We can rent it out for income. It’s not a big deal but Armin, I really think that you and this shop, I think you two would be match made in hog heaven.” 

Armin tilted his head to the said, he was now cautious, “But you said,” “I know what I said but I think this is just too perfect.” “I’ll be here, Erwin. I’ll be here a lot and I don’t want you to get angry if I say yes.” Erwin nodded, “I know. But it’s only fifteen minutes with traffic away. It’s perfect, baby. Just, don’t say yes right now. Think about it, okay? After the wedding we can really sit down and talk-talk. Just, think about it.” Armin leaned against the counter top as Erwin walked around, “Still mad at me, baby?” Armin looked up at him holding his arms up for Erwin to pick him up. He wrapped his legs around him, “Kind of.” But, then he pressed a kiss against his neck, “Let’s go home, Mr. Smith.” Erwin chuckled carrying his sweet boy out to the car and back on home.

*************

Back at the house they were all settling in when Eren came to Armin’s room looking pale and fidgety, “Arm…Arm…um…” Eren looked around before coming inside, “The baby in the womb,” Armin’s skin prickled, _How did he-_ , “It’s being…born right now.” Armin’s mouth fell open, “WE GOTTA GO SEE.” Eren’s eyes popped, “Should we tell?” “NO! LET’S GO NOW.” Armin grabbed his purse and he and Eren shuffled down the stairs. Erwin and Levi were putting up groceries in the kitchen since Connie and Sasha cleaned them out, “Where are you two going?” Erwin called from the counter, “We’ll be right back. We forgot something.” Levi started to walk around the counter but they were gone, piling in to Eren’s Porsche with reckless abandon.

At the school Eren and Armin moved quickly inside of the lab and through the protective rooms and doors to the place where the womb was. Eren and Armin heard Hanji, talking quickly and excitedly. When they opened the door to where the child was now crowning, Hanji was covered in fluid and blood. Armin’s first reaction was simply to laugh as Eren’s was to openly gawk, both were experiencing this for the first time. It didn’t matter because right on their heels were Erwin and Levi who both burst into the room a few minutes later and nearly faltered. “How did you find us!?” Eren screeched as Levi huffed, “You think I don’t have your car tagged? I can track your every move, Jaeger.” Eren’s mouth was wide open, “That’s…damn Levi.”

“Levi,” Hanji’s voice was high, caught red handed and working to not incur any wrath, “come lend me a hand will you?” Levi sprung into action moving towards the gloves on the table and then to assist Hanji. Erwin was stunned, not moving, face a perfect expression of, “What the fuckin’ shit it did I just walk in to?” Armin moved to his side and took his hand, “Don’t worry daddy, it’s gunna be fine.” Armin smiled sweetly but inside he was slightly panicking. _What if it isn’t._

The child started to come out of the womb fully as they all gathered around hoping for a healthy cry. Once in their hands, Hanji put their fingers in its mouth, digging around as Levi suctioned out the fluid from its nose, ears, and mouth. It started to cry and Hanji sighed a sigh of relief. Hanji took the baby to the station at the side for weighing and to check it out. Eren was smiling like a fool at Armin as Hanji declared the baby healthy and fine.

Erwin was patted on the back by Eren who was still smiling. It was then that a thought popped in his head that made his blood run cold. Erwin moved forward anxiously, “Is it…is it one…of ours?” Levi had thought the same thing until he saw the baby fully. Eren and Armin started to wonder, seizing up in anxiety, _Hanji wasn’t above things like that._ Armin and Eren both reacted, “Is it, Hanji?” Hanji cackled and the fear tightened as Levi snorted, “It isn’t one of ours.” Eren snapped his eyes over to him, “How can you be sure!?” Levi meet his gaze, hips cocked and arms crossed, his voice steely and cold, “Because dat baby,” he gave a pointed look around to the others, “is black.”


	85. Smith Wedding Rehearsal

The group stood around as Hanji showed the baby off, “Isn’t this just gunna make the best story!” Armin stood still, biting his lip, “But, that could be one of ours.” Eren’s eyes widened, “Armin are you crazy!?” Armin turned to Eren, “First off, someone could have a black ancestor. Erwin?” Erwin’s eyes bulged, “Why me? Why not Levi?” Armin shrugged, “Sometimes you surprise me.” Levi snickered, “Sounds like you think Erwin is secretly black.” Armin snorted, “Um obviously I am not saying that. It’s just the wonderful gift that is genetics.” Hanji cackled putting the baby down.

As soon as they did, however, the child started to cry and become restless. Levi walked over to it, “Do we know the parents?” Hanji hummed, “Ummm yeah.” Levi raised an eyebrow, “Well?” “The father you do.” “Okay.” Levi reached over and picked the child up, “Then they won’t care if I hold you to make you feel better.” Eren was filled with emotion as he saw how tenderly he held the baby, “But, why wouldn’t you think Levi would have someone in his family who?” Armin giggled, “I don’t know. Levi has the monopoly on strange relatives and ambiguous ethnicity. I threw daddy a bone. Can I hold it?” Levi passed to baby to Armin who held it with Erwin standing over him looking over his shoulder with fondness in his eyes, “Wow, a little life.”

Eren and Levi were with Hanji when the parents finally appeared, “Oh HaShem, wow. Mazel Tov.” Oulu was sweating as Yvonne stared Armin down. Erwin tapped Armin as she approached, “Is that my baby?” Armin looked at her smiling, “It sure is. Mazel Tov.” Yvonne took the child admiring it the only way a mother could as Oulu, brought to tears came behind her to stand, “Our baby, wow.” Wow was all anyone could say. 

Iris Odette was a healthy and beautiful baby girl. She was huge, weighing almost eleven pounds and was almost twenty-three inches in length. Hanji started telling Levi about how the length of pregnancy wasn’t like that of a normal woman and thus, they’d gone against their better judgment and let the child go to term of 40 weeks. 32-35 should be when labor is induced for the future. Eren noted Levi wasn’t acting like he normally did and simply accepted the observation while peering at the now empty womb that would need to be cleaned.

Yvonne, Oulu, and Iris were at home in the school impromptu nursery. This is where they told them why and how this all came to be. Yvonne was an athlete since she was a small child. When she was a high school freshman she went to state to participate in the finals for basketball where she helped bring her team to victory. She chose to ride with the parents of a friend back and not take the bus, a fateful decision. They were hit by a drunk driver and she barely survived, one of the casualties was her womb, she was left barren and in pain every month. She went on to be a great star athlete in college but she’d always wanted a child and thus, she decided to throw herself into work and her relationships were always short due to her desire not to rob them of a potential shot at a true family.

Oulu had changed her mind. They wanted a family together and when Hanji found out they made it happen. They knew the risks, were well informed by Hanji, but they took them. Now, it all paid off with lovely little Iris asleep in their arms. Levi and Erwin told them they’d be sure to gather up supplies if they were in need of anything and Oulu was ecstatic to show off his daughter to Petra and Eld when they arrived. It was a great day with a positive feeling. Marco and Jean stopped by, a little off, but as soon as they saw the baby Marco gasped letting out a sigh, “This is why you wanted me to take over. Gosh you should have said something, congratulations! I’ll definitely pick up a little more of the slack till you can adjust.” Oulu laughed, “You better!” Marco moved forward, “Now, can I hold her?” Jean took countless photos of their new little princess and his gorgeous freckled beau, posting them to instagram with glee. 

*************

When they all got home that night Armin went to see Jean in his studio, “Jean?” Jean turned around in his chair, “Arm.” Armin stood straighter as Jean starred at him. It was the first time they were really seeing each other after the memories came back for Jean. They both eventually started smirking, “So, okay, why is it in every damn life you have it all just figured out?” Armin sat on the bean bag chair Marco had gotten Jean for those long nights and cuddle sessions, “Thank my fucked up childhoods in every life. Basically, I’ve wondered the same thing and then I realized that it all hinges on the fact that I am related to the Reiss family. Because of this, they won’t leave me alone and I’m always born into the situation with fucked up parents who eventually reveal just enough to trigger it all. However, Erwin’s biological father, Zad, said that there is a ritual that will restore all of my memories. We now that means swapping blood. But, I think it’s more than that. The last life they injected me with blood and I did get all of the memories.” 

Jean stood up excitedly, “So you remember?” Armin shook his head, “Only for that life.” Jean looked so dejected as he shuffled towards the row of paintings he was working on, “Damn, I’m tired of this shit. So, we have to finish The Wall off, find the Reiss family’s headquarters and I dunno shoot them all? Like…isn’t that what you do to cults? And then we have to make sure to finish it so good that they never come back. Easy, bet we can do it in a weekend, right?” Armin snorted, “I think you’re right. We can make it a long weekend, thought. Because, you know, like, the Wall is in Denmark and junk.” Jean smiled walking over to hug Armin, “You’re my best friend. I love you, Arm.” Armin smiled, “Love you too, Jean.”

Jean let him go ruffling his hair, “So, how bad ass is this Zad?” Armin frowned slightly, “He’s okay.” Jean snorted, “He pokes at you and you think he’s hot but you hate him because you don’t really hate him. Got it.” Armin pouted, “Shut up. You’ll find out for yourself at the wedding.” Armin hit Jean in the arm, “Fuck you, bro.” Jean feigned hurt, “Bruh!”

*******************

[Eren](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/06/9e/b6/069eb67dc1a78bae922aadf1e86203bb.jpg) and [Levi](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/60/eb/33/60eb338788940bd3f636c11dc5f3cc8b.jpg) were packing the car methodically, the [invitation](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/78/11/6c/78116cce8b6f454087c5284dd7ee7b7c.jpg) lying on the dashboard for easy reference. Erwin and Armin were arguing, not really about anything bad but just…arguing. Something about how Armin’s nagging was like that of angels and then there was Erwin’s need to control everything was refreshing, not at all like North Korea. Levi and Eren were staying out of it. They were about to enter into the car for almost an hour and a half to head to the wedding location. The rehearsal dinner was tonight and all would be attending.

[Jean](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/3c/80/2b/3c802b1bffc4b0cce6a6ec50963d1b2d.jpg) came out of the house with his bag, “What the fuck has happened?” He was looking at Eren who shrugged, “I have no idea. It’s like…one must have said something to the other and that just set off a progression of passive aggression because,” “I know! Who the fuck argues like that? Like….their words sound passive but it’s tots aggressive.” “It’s like Andy on Parks and Recs who said someone should call it “nicie-meanie” and that is tots Armin right now. It’s bad because they’re both mental geniuses so there are bound to be casualties and that will be,” “Us.” Levi put his arm around Eren’s waist, “Promise me, promise me something?” Eren turned to him, “What Neshama?” “That if it comes down to it, live. I’ll sacrifice myself in the car for you to live to tell the tale.” Eren started to laugh as Jean rolled his eyes, “I’m definitely not jealous of that car ride. I’ll be in my truck, listening to my music, holding my boyfriend’s hand, and enjoying whatever beautiful sounds he makes speaking, singing, or snoring.” 

“I do NOT snore.” [Marco](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/75/ab/b4/75abb429c09a54fb0d9bb1e2f101b101.jpg) hugged him suddenly from behind, “Armin just told Erwin he was like Caeser.” “That’s nice.” “Then he said in the same tone and breath, “You know, the neat thing about him is he wasn’t killed by his enemies, no, he was killed by his friends.”” The group collectively let out an, “Oooooooooh burn.” Before dispersing, “Okay, well, we’ll see y’all there. Mikasa and David just left and she has most of the things for tonight.” “Has she told your parents yet?” “Nope.” Eren wasn’t thrilled but he’d also been avoiding them since finding out everything that he had. It just wasn’t worth it right now.

[Armin](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/7d/bf/a6/7dbfa65a40b22350093fa496b6ac4760.jpg) opened the door, skipping his little blond radiant angel self down the porch and down sidewalk. Levi saw the pleasant smile on his face and breathed a sigh of relief that all seemed to be better off. Armin checked his [watch](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/77/9e/34/779e34134f50f73b60125160ce8ecfd3.jpg), an heirloom of the Smith legacy he’d been given around the time of their engagement and it went with his entire look in such a strange way, just like Armin himself. He turned as [Erwin](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ef/12/90/ef129095693daa5d4012a639cdda7b31.jpg) appeared, with Armin’s new [purse](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/82/82/bd/8282bd8382ebd828b7354e341e391327.jpg) that he got him the other day and his last bag, “Come on daddy, don’t want to be late to our practice of “basically what we’ve been doing for over two years” but you know….” _Uh oh_ , Levi moved closer to Eren and Jean who were both exchanging looks of panic because they all three now knew that Erwin had said something and that’s why there was an issue and why was he so smart but so dumb? Marco was oblivious for some reason and just stood there smiling, “You two are so cute. I’m so excited for this!” Jean openly gawked at his adorable boyfriend that might be killed if Armin took notice of him too much.

Before war could fully break out they all got inside of their respective vehicles, Donner and Isi were being watched by a sitter with Commander watching the sitter since Commander didn’t do being watched. Levi almost reneged and went back to get him. Levi was driving and instead of Eren sitting in the passenger with him, Armin slid inside as Erwin went to sit behind Levi. Eren calmly got inside behind Armin as Levi looked at him in the rear view mirror like, _what is going on we are so fucked._ Eren felt like the lock clicking in place on the door was the lock clicking in place condemning him to hell. *********** 

**Fifteen Minutes in…**

  
“Well, I wasn’t saying that I thought legal bondage was right, but back in the day so many people saw it as necessary.” –Erwin  
“So, legal slavery for women. How does that relate to us?”- Armin  
“Well, you’re the wife in the relation-,” – Erwin  
“I will rip your cock off if you even finish that sentence.” – Armin

For what it was worth, Levi was on Armin’s side. Eren started a slow fever pitch of internal screaming.

**Thirty Minutes in…**

  
“But, it’s not like I look at it and think about him! It’s just a neat set of book ends!” – Armin  
“I’m sorry, but I don’t keep gifts from exs and display them in front of my current lover.” – Erwin  
“I’m sorry, did you like ever date before hand? I’m pretty sure Levi doesn’t count and I’ve _never_ heard of a wondrous high society lover who gave you things.” – Armin  
“For your information, I dated plenty!” a long heavy pause and then more outraged exasperated yelling, “I was popular!” – Erwin

Levi didn’t remember him dating….or when he’d have had the chance. But he wasn’t going to say shit. Eren was now chewing his lip and the screaming intensified.

**An Hour in…**

  
“I just don’t understand why you can’t put the top back on the toothpaste? Really? It is so fucking easy to just put the top back on after you put paste on your tooth brush. I literally do not understand.” – Armin  
“I don’t think the boy who always wears socks to bed and will bitch for days if one comes off and blame their lover as if he pulled it off,” – Erwin  
“I HAVE CAUGHT YOU PULLING THEM OFF,” – Armin  
“I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THAT, ARMIN. THEY ARE SO ANNOYING!” – Erwin  
“Says the man who cuts his toe nails ONCE a CENTURY and in the BED of all places. If I didn’t wear socks, my feet would be cut on the jagged shards of glass that are your big ass TOENAILS.” – Armin  
“YOU SNORE! – Erwin  
_An audible gasp_ , “I do NOT snore.” 

Eren and Levi both knew that he did snore…and it was cute sometimes but then sometimes it got real fucking annoying. They said nothing. Levi kept reading about a gun show on the billboards of the interstate while Eren started humming “Let it Go.” Because right now, that’s what they both really wanted.

**An hour thirty minutes in…**

  
“I just think that if you take more classes online you can work and then when we have kids we’ll hire someone.” – Erwin  
“I’m sorry, I can just bring the kids with me to the shop. It has an apartment. It has a kitchen.” – Armin  
“A kitchen, Armin. Seriously? Can you even cook?” – Erwin  
“What the hell does that even mean?” – Armin  
“Well, I’m just sayin’ you’ve never cooked for me. Instead, the thai people know my credit card number by heart.” – Erwin  
“Oh, my, God, are you fucking starting that again?” – Armin  
“Maybe I am. Or am I suppose to count that one time you tried?” – Erwin  
“ERWIN, IT WAS ONE TIME!” – Armin  
“ONE TIME!? WHY WERE YOU KEEPING NEWSPAPERS IN THE OVEN?” – Erwin  
“NO ONE WAS USING IT WE HAVE LIKE TWENTY OF EVERYTHING!” – Armin  
“BUT HEBREW NEWSPAPERS? WE HAVE A STUDY!” – Erwin  
“I like to read them, in the kitchen, at the counter, while eating cheese and crackers, around 3 pm. It’s my thing.” – Armin  
_A long pause,_ “It’s pretty fucking stupid.” – Erwin

********************

Levi pulled over at a gas station, they were only ten minutes from the space, “Could you two run in and get ice? I forgot the ice and I need to tell Eren something privately. It’s about health stuff.” Armin and Erwin reluctantly got out and went to get the ice. They owed them for setting the car up and driving. Eren was staring out the window looking into the distance, “Eren?” Levi’s voice was low and serious. It immediately captured Eren’s attention, “Yes?” Levi inhaled, looking into the rear view mirror, look deadly serious, holding Eren’s gaze, “We could just leave them, Eren.” He said simply and slowly, “We could just…go home. We could just…live, you know? Leave them, start a new life somewhere with new names and new faces, and forget about this torture? We could do it.” Eren started to cry, “My God, I just want it to be over. Why are they fighting?” Levi sighed, “All couples fight. I think they’re just…scared.”

Eren thought about it, “It’s stupid stuff. So, yeah. I guess it’s not too bad but who fights about this shit?” Levi raised an eyebrow, “Really? We fight like this.” “Nu uh!” “Uh HUH. Eren.” “NO!” “About the deer, the cleaning routine, the food and where it goes, your lack of hygiene, your actions in general…” Eren starred, “That hurt, Levi.” “Sometimes the truth does, Eren.” “I still love you.” “Good, I love you too.” “Lock the door.” “I did.” “Good, let them suffer.” Levi and Eren laughed deviously as Erwin and Armin pulled at the door confusedly.

*****************

The group got to the hotel, checked in, and put their things in their rooms. Armin and Eren would sleep in one for one night together while Erwin and Levi would in the other since Armin didn’t want Erwin to see him on their wedding day. Levi and Eren were changing in their room while the other two were changing in theirs. Eren moved forward as Levi pulled on his pants leaving kisses on his back. Levi stilled, smirking but Eren couldn’t see him, “What are you doing, brat?” Eren smirked, “Just appreciating you.” Levi turned around moving closer to Eren, “Well, thanks.” He pressed a kiss to his lips, “But we need to be ready to part the red sea in case we must flee from the warring Egyptians in there.” Eren laughed, “Kiss me, Neshama.” Levi leaned in, “Just for a little bit.” He whispered against his lips as Eren sighed blissfully.

******************

Erwin was watching as Armin changed. He’d worn what he wear at the rehearsal and thus, could relax in the room a bit longer, “Are you still mad?” Armin pulled his [dress](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/48/22/d7/4822d7b38263522b1890dc5bae39f361.jpg) on, “Mmm yeah.” Erwin frowned, “I’m sorry.” Armin looked around the room, “Don’t just say sorry to move on, Erwin. What you said this morning really hurt my feelings.” Erwin stood up, “I really am sorry, Armin. I just say things sometimes that… come off as very insensitive.” Armin walked over to him sitting on his lap. Erwin’s arms pulled him closer, “I love you so much and I can’t believe you put up with me.” Armin laughed, “Yes, I know. By the way, to answer your question this morning, yes.” Erwin smiled, “That’s good to know.” Armin rolled his eyes. Erwin went over to his bag, “By the way, I brought this because, well, it would really mean a lot if you wore my mother’s necklace. My dad loved this [piece](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/8f/6f/6a/8f6f6a2b65d49493e9da96787e746102.jpg) the most because she wore it to their rehearsal. It’s a little nostalgic and she wrote about it a lot.” Armin smiled, “Erwin, did you ever really think I’d turn down diamonds and pearls? Never, I would never.”

***************

The rehearsal space was beautiful as [Mikasa](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/f1/a3/e4/f1a3e40947d38eeefed723baa4cefb03.jpg) and Ms. Kirschstein worked their magic. The venue was still kissing major ass in Jean’s opinion about moving the date. The Jaegers were coming in shortly and he was watching as Mikasa twirled around happily and he starred at her stomach which wasn’t showing at all because she wasn’t that far along. Jean walked over to her, “So, what exactly was your goal, Miki?” Mikasa smirked, “Where are you going with this?” “You look painted in to that dress. I mean, I’m hard just looking at you.” Mikasa snorted, “You look like a wiccan street hippie.”

Jean pulled back hissing, “DAAAAMN Miki, save my feelings pleeeaaassee.” He noticed her ring, “Let me see. When did he get it?” She held her hand up showing the [ring](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/6e/52/96/6e529692859a32706fb88584dbd09cfb.jpg), “He went with Levi and Erwin to the jeweler that did Eren and Armin’s. I really am glad he picked this one.” He smiled, “Me too. It’s very you.” She pulled back coyly, “He picked my push present out as well.” “What is that?” “A gift a father gives a mother after they have a child.” “Ooohh okay I get it. Clever. But, I don’t know how I feel about it.” “I think I’ll deserve a gift.” He smirked, “You deserve the world.” She rolled her eyes, “He also gave me this [necklace](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/8e/89/5f/8e895f716ed727f9d889e1448f25c11d.jpg) for my birthday. He just told me it a relative of his who passed away before his parents died and left it to his father so it’s on that side of that family. I kind of picked my outfit around it and the ring. Hence the decadent satin.” He nodded, “Armin will be proud. His middle name is decadent.”

Mikasa nodded, "Yep, the more decadent the better." As she continued to speak with Jean, David appeared slightly flushed, "Your parents just arrived. I am nervous." Jean patted him on the back, "Just stick with me and I'll do most of the talking." David nodded as Jean and Mikasa both finished the table setting and separated till later. Its rude not to mingle but Jean would buy David some time. Marco appeared with Mila on his hip and pad in hand. "Whatcha got their babe?" Jean smirked before waving to Mila, "I have a little princess named Mila who has been looking for L E V I and we just had a talk about her next book. I took notes, of course. Notes I need reviewed by my illustrator. Have you seen him anywhere?" Jean looked around, confused look on his face, "Babe, that's me." He pointed at himself while Mila waved. Marco deadpanned, "I know. I was hoping you'd play along and say what does he look like." Jean grinned, "Oh! What does he look like?!" "You killed it, Jean......but like he's really smokin’ hot." Marco and Jean laughed as David rolled his eyes, "May I?" Marco handed Mila to David, "Yeah we all need the practice that's for sure." 

Jean and Marco stood with David and Mila for a few more minutes until Mrs. Jaeger appeared, “Um so, David, why is it my daughter has a wedding band and engagement ring on?” David bounced Mila up and down nervously, “Because we got married.” Jean grimaced, he’d failed David due to Carla’s upfront nature. Carla’s face was the very definition of suspicious, “No.” He starred in disbelief, “Why, why would I lie? I don’t lie.” Carla shrugged, “Because, it’s Mikasa. I’ve always known she’d probably never marry and if she did she would have let me throw a huge to-do because I’ve always wanted to.” He grimaced, “We did. She asked me to marry her in Italy. I said yes, because I love her and have wanted to ask her but she’s her own woman, you know? But, there’s more, Mrs. Jaeger.”

Carla’s world was spinning, “Let me tell you something you-,” Jean knew where it was going so he stepped in, “Mikasa is pregnant. She’s pregnant and married, not dead, on drugs, or with someone who’s a piece of crap. David is utterly devoted to her and let’s her do and be and make and everything else. She’s happy, Carla. She’s really actually blissfully happy.” Carla’s anger dissipated as she looked at David with some sympathy, “Well, yeah. She could be married to someone worse. Like Jean.” Marco burst into laughter as David grinned widely, “Yes, he’s horrid.” “Jean, what on earth are you and Marco wearing? Did you think this was going to be some sort of bar? You look like a witch and he looks like some boy in panama city on spring break. Really, at least David is in a suite.” 

Jean rolled his eyes, “Okay, okay… you know driving and being dressed all fancy isn’t that comfortable.” Carla pinched his cheeks, “I know. I just love to get your goat.” David snorted, “That’s such a strange thing to say. He doesn’t have a goat to be got, Carla.” Marco doubled over at the sound of wonder in David’s voice over the obvious fallacy that the saying was. As a writer, he lived for it. “But, pregnant?” She ended the word in an upward shirt, “How long?” “We think it happened right before or right after the accident.” Carla sighed, “Well, God works in mysterious ways. So, you’re a part of the family now and that means call me momma and since you’re going to give me my first grandchild then you’re going to be seeing a lot of me.” She smiled devilishly and David put all of his hate for Dr. Jaeger inside. It wasn’t her fault and she was very excited about it all.

Carla flagged Dr. Jaeger over along with Mikasa, “So, Grisha, Mikasa here and David are married.” Grisha’s face was not as happy, “What?” “Yes! And they are carrying our first grandchild!” Grisha’s face flashed with a look of total terror before he controlled it, “Oh, oh,” he looked to Mikasa, “How far along are you?” “Twelve weeks. It’s really early but the doctor said I’m looking like I’ll carry to term if I take it easy till about fourteen weeks.” Grisha continued to have every reaction one didn’t want one to have when they told the happy news. Carla became very uncomfortable, “Grisha, why are you acting like that?” Grisha shrugged, “I’m just acting the way anyone who has raised a child should act when their children tell them this.” Carla have him an exasperated look, “You mean, act like an ass whose ushering in the end of the world?” Grisha shrugged annoyed, “Like a realist.” David was curious, “Why? What reality are you telling us?” Grisha met his gaze and David saw for the first time a very different Grisha revealed himself and this would shake David for weeks to come. In a very serious voice, it held a sense of warning, foreboding, and a plethora of other emotions he said quite simply, “They make you weak.” Both Mikasa and Carla stood straighter and the atmosphere was forever changed.

Before anything else could happen Armin and Erwin made their entrance as everyone else made their way around to welcome them and prepare for the run through. “Bonjour! Now that the happy couple is here we should all get on with the walk through and then we can eat and party. Just, don’t leave this room as the rest of the venue is set up perfectly for tomorrow and we want it to be a little bit of a surprise for everyone.” Armin smiled as everyone told him how great he looked and how excited they were. Sasha and Connie presented them with the menu for the rehearsal dinner since they offered to cater it as a wedding gift and Erwin was delighted with their selections. He’d left it all to them because honestly, they knew their food and took it seriously.

Erwin turned around, “I need to make sure Zadkiel is close.” Armin nodded his head, “I wish he would have just taken the car we sent.” “He said he could drive.” “When did he last drive? 1981? And what? A fucking trabby?” (The east German Trabolt) Erwin burst into laughter, “Oh God, maybe.” Armin moved closer, coy smile, “I bet he’s taken a ride in the die grüne Mina. (The green Mina is what police cars were (maybe still in some circles) called in Germany in slang because they were green)” Erwin laughed more, “You’re amazing. I love you.” Armin smirked, “Better, have you seen me tonight? Make it quick and if you’re not sure he’s doing what he needs then switch to my plan.” Erwin sighed, “I hope it doesn’t come to that.” A wicked glint made its way into Armin’s eyes, he whispered darkly, “I hope it does.”

Erwin excused himself as they started the run through of the wedding party. Erwin and Armin wanted the sides to mix because they saw everyone as a part of their closest friends and family. Sasha walked down with Connie and went to Erwin’s side, Mikasa and David both went to Armin, Levi and Eren went down the middle and split Levi on Erwin’s and Eren’s on Armin’s since they were the best men, Jean and Marco went to Erwin’s side, Hanji and Mike to split to both sides since Mike was also Erwin’s best man, and then Eld and Petra both split to even the sides out. Armin was ready to walk down when Erwin appeared again. “Who would you like to walk you down if anyone?” 

Rabbi Berkovich was marrying them, which he found to be not only delightful but satisfying internally. He’d really become a part of this family and he enjoyed it. Hannes stood up from his place at one of the tables, “I know I’m an old geezer but I can at least be good for somethin’. I’ll volunteer unless you have someone in mind?” Armin was touched and so was Eren by the way his eyes shown, “I’m touched Hannes but…” “I’ll walk him down.” Zadkiel’s voice caught the attention of everyone. He appeared and Armin couldn’t help but roll his eyes, “Glad to see you somewhat groomed yourself, you filthy animal.” 

[Zad](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/54/0e/f2/540ef2abe439e863009208bca66a2d20.jpg) smirked, “You’re considering running away with me, I know. I am flattered. But, we’re already here.” Zad took his arm and looped it with his, “Ready when you are, Rabbi.” Berkovich kept his pleasant smile while everyone whispered among themselves, “Um, okay, come on down.” Erwin smiled like a fool and it was just the walk through. Armin’s legs were shaky but Zad kept a firm hold. _Maybe he is good for something._ When they reached the end Berkovich cleared his throat, “Who gives this man?” “I do.” Berkovich paused, “If you’re waiting for a label as to what I am to him then that’s far too complicated for this wedding. So, let’s just leave it at I do and get on with it.” He released Armin who was simmering that he’d be so blunt and rude to Berkovich, “You’re such a rude thing.” Zad smiled, chuckling, “Said such an overly sensitive thing!” Armin slapped him and Berkovich only laughed harder and smiled brighter, “Feisty!”

Armin walked up to Erwin who was smirking, “Stop smirking, Erwin Smith, or you’ll be next.” Berkovich and the others now chuckled, “Well, it’s bad luck for the groom to practice with the…other groom, so we need a stand in.” Eren nearly fell over volunteering, “I VOLUNTEER!” Jean, who had also wanted to volunteer, pushed through the line pissed off, “YOU ARE NOT KATNISS EVERDEEN! I WANT TO DO IT!” Armin snickered, “I choose you, Levi.” Levi merely blinked, “Is that…from something? That…Poka moin?” The entire party gasped as Mike leaned over Hanji, “Pokémon, Levi. My God!” Levi just blinked again, “Did you forget I grew up on the streets and in a community that shunned technology? Sutmar don’t care about children’s programs.” Eren was nearly crying and so way Jean, “I can’t believe you grew up without Pokemon and team rocket and Pikachu and happiness.” 

Armin sighed, “Let Eren do it instead.” Zad shifted on the side, “I’d be more than happy to,” “I SAID EREN, YOU CREATON.” Eren let out a victorious cheer as Jean shuffled back to his place. Marco kissed his cheek as Gio filmed everything, something everyone had completely forgotten about and now he would have blackmail for years. “Okay, let’s get on with it, Eren Erwin, do you….” The rest of the rehearsal went much the same as it started with laughs, tears, and a plethora of burns.

By the time the food started rolling out and Jean started playing the music Armin had given him everyone was mingling and having fun. Mike had Mila currently, swaying with her as he ate, “Mike?” Levi approached, “How are you?” Mike narrowed his eyes, “I smell some bullshit coming, Levi.” Levi sighed, “I’m here to say that…I told Hanji not to stay because of me.” Mike stared intently so Levi continued, slightly nervous, “I know that…our past relationship must be a point contention but they belong where they are. We always knew that and Mila and you are the priority. We work together, research together, but Mike we’re not together. We ended things and ended them well and we’ve never since that day ever had a lapse in judgment or even a moment of impropriety. Not one moment of tension or regret. We’re friends and coworkers. You and Hanji are…my family. I don’t have any other than David and that’s been a blessing but before that I always thought of you two as the closest family I never had what with him being overseas all the time. So, please, don’t fight with Hanji any more about me. It’s not about me.” 

Levi stood awkwardly while Mike continued to scrutinize him, “Levi,” his voice that same sedated hippie cowboy like song, “Êtes-vous vraiment ce putain de stupide? Il est à propos de vous et ce n'est pas une mauvaise chose.” (Are you really that fucking stupid? It is about you and that's not a bad thing.) Levi’s face was uncharacteristically expressive and showed just how shocked he was, “You speak French?” Mike snorted, “Of course, I just fuck with Hanji and make them think I can’t. “El bagetto mon amouro mister roboto.” I’m Erwin Smith’s best friend, Levi. I’m fucking hootin’-tootin’ high flootin’.” 

Levi was floored, “I can’t handle this information.” He deadpanned, mind exploding, “But, what do you mean it isn’t bad?” Mike turned to him, “All I really wanted was for you to make it clear that you and Hanj weren’t still in some sort of relationship. I’m a confident guy, not really jealous or covetous. It’s how Erwin and I work so well what with him always needin’ to be the most liked and the big deal. But, you Levi, ever since you came around I lost Erwin and then you stepped in and took Hanji with hardly any effort. I’ve loved Hanji a lot longer than I let on, which ain’t nothin’ on your part and I ain’t holdin’ that against you. That’d be wrong. But, Levi, even though I love you and think of you like a brother, and I do, I swear it, wakin’ up to your future spouse sometimes talkin’ about a guy in their sleep and you’re daughter is practically obsessed with the same guy you start to get jealous, angry, upset, and paranoid. No matter how strong you are that weighs on you. You start breaking down and fighting and it’s all about fear, fear that you ain’t good enough and you start comparing yourself to this guy who is so different from you that it makes it all worse because you ain’t never gunna be nothin’ like him. I’m sorry, Levi. But, I think I was waitin’ on this. I think I needed this in order to make up my mind. I’m gunna tell Hanji we ain’t gunna move, we’ll go up there and help durin’ the Summer till maybe Mila is out of the house but we ain’t gunna pack up and leave y’all or Maria.”

Levi felt shameful for some reason, “But, we’re okay?” Mike smiled, “We’re more than okay, Levi.” Levi stared anxiously before Mike grinned and shook his head amusedly, “I know you want her, Levi.” “Leevee?” Mila perked up, she’d been waking up from a short cat nap and had her head turned in towards Mike’s neck, “Leevee!” She spotted him, crying out and he took her and brought her into his arms, “Bonjour mon petite Mila.” Levi smiled as she laid down against his shoulder and started to babble and talk her own little language. Mike snorted, “She’s gunna have issues.” “How so?” “When she gets older and realizes she can’t marry uncle Levi she’ll be devastated. I’m calling it now.” Levi chuckled, “Hush, she’ll never date or be interested in such. She’ll be a sweet, perfect, career woman who will save the world and cure cancer.” Mike popped more food in his mouth, “You cured that, remember? Or are on the verge. She’ll have nothing left to do because of you, Hanji, and Eren.” Mila’s hand covered his mouth so he pretended to eat it, “Well, I’ll leave something maybe.” 

Armin and Erwin were dancing together, everyone eating, watching, talking, and enjoying themselves. Armin leaned against Erwin, “I can’t help but think something is going to go wrong.” Erwin chuckled, “Nothing will go wrong. Are you happy?” Armin looked up, smiling, “So happy.” Erwin’s hands pulled him closer, “Perfect! There is nothing more in this world I want more than for you to be happy, Armin.” He leaned down kissing him, “I’m still sorry about this morning.” Whatever Armin was about to say died in his throat as he saw the two figures walk through the archway of the main door. He stopped moving, he wanted to run, to faint, to die, to be anywhere but there.

Erwin stumbled as Armin turned to heavy stone in his arms and that’s when he heard it, “You two,” Zadkiel’s voice was low and deadly, “better turn around or I’ll gut you.” The two figures stood motionless as Zadkiel moved forward threateningly, “No one wants you here.” The man spoke, “I see we’ve come a little late.” Zad moved forward quickly, threateningly, a growl loose in his throat, “Go now.” “Zadkiel Smith, we’re not going anywhere till we speak with our son.” Armin turned just in time to see Grisha Jaeger flank Zadkiel as his parents stepped forward.


	86. Smith Wedding Rehearsal Prt. 2

It was strange for Armin more than one would think. Zadkiel, not really his friend or maybe he was he didn’t really want to admit that actually, was squared off with his father like he knew him personally from some Siberian gang job that went array and he was awaiting payment for damages in the way of flesh and bone and then Grisha Jaeger, a man who tried to keep his anger control, who had failed as he and a Eren knew many times in his life but really honestly tried, was at his side like they’d gone off to war as young boys together and forged a brotherhood in the beaten Iceland of Russia and from the looks of it prepared to let it all go. Armin looked to Carla, who normally stepped in, seemed to throw her arms up in a very “you get’em baby.” Carla, in fact, seemed equally as angry. Armin was then suddenly very alone as Erwin stepped between him and his parents, this was turning into a shit show.

“Move over.” Armin’s father moved to walk towards Erwin but Zadkiel had a knife at his throat in a few seconds, “I don’t think so, Adam. You’re leaving. You and that bitch of wife you’ve got… I can’t believe you’re his parents.” Grisha stepped forward, “I knew it was you who broke in to the house. The audacity to come here, it’s unbelievable.” Armin’s mother spoke, “I wouldn’t pretend to be this innocent given the situation, Grisha. We didn’t break in to anything.” Her voice was chipper and condencending. Clearly she was letting her secret smart ass come out in full. Grisha squared off with her, “I’m not pretending to be innocent, Adele, But, I made it clear that you weren’t to come around anymore. Not after you tried to keep him from going to school at Maria.” Erwin’s ears picked up a familiar tone, one that normally preceded physical action to solve a problem. “You’re disgusting, Grisha. Disgusting. You’ve always been a problem.” “You mean I’ve always been there for your child. You’re child that you were grooming for sacrifice.” “We know full well the arrangement was _agreeable._ We need to speak with our son right now, alone. This has all gone too far and you know it. Just step aside or the ruin of you and yours will begin immediately.” Zad chuckled darkly, “I’ll move this blade to the side and slit your filthy Reiss loving necks. Now I get it, it’s all coming up roses for us and they’re cracking down on you to do your part and get a hold on litte sugerpop over there. Bet you’re hooping that Erwin will want to be included in your talk- Ahhhh that’s exactly it. You were going to get both of them. Not this time, no. You won’t get Armin or Erwin. Not over my dead body.” 

“Armin,” his mother began in a somewhat panicked tone, “come speak with us. Clearly you’ve been getting a lot of mixed messages from this murderer. Ever wonder why he had to flee to Russia? He’s not all that innocent and nor if Dr. Jaeger. It’s important that you speak with us now, you don’t understand how important. You must come with us and hear the truth, the word of God.” Armin stayed planted where he was, his heart pounded, “No.” Armin’s mother looked enraged, “What did you say?” she hissed, “Yes! Yes! You are coming with us and listening to what we have to say. You came from me, came from my loins, thou shalt honor thine father and mother!” Armin was slowly growing more and more angry, “No, because this is my wedding rehearsal and I didn’t invite you nor did I ever want to see you again. Erwin told you to either step up or cut me out and you chose to cut me out. I wouldn’t go anywhere with you unless I had a death wish and I’m not done, I’m not going to die because of some remnant of a feeling. I wanted your love but it’s not real. To go with you is to walk to the gas chamber freely.” Zad released his father, pleased smirk on his face, “You heard him, get out before I throw you out. Perhaps, you’ll see what I did that made me flee to Russia?” He cackled, loudly, disturbingly.

Armin’s mother’s steely gaze met Zad’s, “Now, now, no need for all that.” She added darkly, tone almost malevolent, “They’ll be happy to know that you live and are right here in the states to boot.” Her sickeningly sweet voice made Levi snap. It didn’t take much but he went back into the old self of Bad City. No one was going to hurt his shefeleh, his mami. He met Erwin’s gaze and they exchanged words only a life time of living in hell could create. 

She turned to Armin, face attempting to look sympathetic and motherly, _a reptilian monster that would eat her young thought_ Hanji who looked at a sleeping Mila on Mike’s shoulder and shuddered, “Armin, you’ve made a horrible decision but we’ll be in touch again soon.” He recoiled, “Don’t bother.” They left without much more of a fuss and everyone tried to salvage the night. Levi shifted and went to speak with Erwin as Zadkiel and Grisha exchanged a few hushed words. Carla approached Armin trying to soothe him but she was needed with Grisha. Armin thanked her as she left. How would he explain any of this?

Luckily, Mike and Hanji were able to round up people with their positive distractions and Ms. Kirschstein and Giovanni did well explaining to those who were confused a bit of the back story of Armin’s horrid relationship with his parents, with obvious white good intentioned lies here and there because even they were confused what role Grisha played in all of this. They improvised, of course, when it came to why the strange red headed man had a knife, to which Gio merely took out his own and his gun and made it about the second amendment which Marco found hysterical as did Ms. Kirschstein. Eren had walked over to his father, face serious but nothing seemed to happen that would trouble Armin and Carla was heading over there. Levi and Erwin were speaking with Zad, when he approached they stated they were out of ice and beer and would run down to the gas station they passed on the way to the venue.

Zadkiel was blood red as he stepped forward, “I didn’t meant to ruin your party but they aren’t getting you and they’re not getting my-,” he caught himself, “they’re not getting Erwin. If you remember what Marilyn wrote in her diary, they used Gabe for his money through Abulafia. They’ve been tied into our family’s fortune for a long time. Some ancestor had an iron clad contract drawn up that he kept Smith money from ever becoming available to them no matter how they scheme unless they do what Abulafia did and go straight to the source but even then a Smith must be the one to draw the funds. It was rumored it was the ancestor’s spouse that really wrote the fine print so we can’t take all the credit.” Armin nearly laughed, _it was probably me who wrote that._ Zad hugged him and he didn’t grimace too much before he walked away, “I’m gunna ride with the short angry guy. Guess that’s Levi?” Armin nodded, “Don’t worry, he doesn’t bite that bad.” Zad scoffed, “He’s a pipsqueak. I’m not worried.”

Erwin was just about to leave with them when Armin took him by the arm, “I’m afraid…what if they come tomorrow or…what if they come back at all and we’re not ready or if they try to take me again?” Armin’s voice rose in panic. Erwin gave him a sympathetic look, “I know. Try not to think about it, okay? Hey, there’s Mila and Sasha, go play with them and eat something. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.” He kissed him and Armin felt shamed a bit because he’d been avoided food lately due to stress, _damn you, Erwin_ , “Mimosa’s are on the way my prince.” He left quickly as Armin headed over to Sasha to talk and grab Mila. He eventually walked to Eren’s side for much needed re-enforcements.

Eren wrung his hands, whispering, “We want to talk to you after they get back from their honeymoon. We need to talk together about everything and that’s the only way we’ll do it so,” Grisha nodded, “I know. I’m sure Mikasa will follow after that.” He sounded sad and Armin felt bad. He felt bad because it was all messed up and he felt betrayed, he knew Eren did too but that was his father. Armin moved closer to Eren, “I just want tomorrow to be happy and then we can talk so there’s not point getting it all stirred up right now. Thank you for defending me.” Grisha frowned, “Why would you even want me here, Armin?” Good question, Armin had thought the same thing, “Because, maybe…we’ll understand one another and if that’s the case I want to think back to my wedding with Carla there and happy and,” “Oh, so it’s for Carla. That makes sense.” Carla frowned as Armin interjected, “I want both of you. But, you’ve done…horrible things Grisha and I,” Armin shifted Mila to the side, tears at the corner of his eyes, Carla’s brows furrowed, “What? What is he talking about? That’s…are there things I don’t know about?” She looked angrily at Grisha who avoided her, “I realize I did things out of the norm to protect you from your parents but let’s leave the details for later.” She steamed, “Convienent.” Armin tried to smile reassuringly, “I want you here, though. Don’t act like I don’t. That hurts me.” Grisha sighed, smiling slightly, “Well, that does my heart good to hear.” He then moved and patted Eren on the back, “I love you, Eren. I never want you to think that I don’t. That’s just not the case at all….it’s because I love you so much I have done the things I’ve done.” Eren nodded, unsure but with his mother in front of him he couldn’t be strong, “I love you too, dad.” His stomach was in knots and so was Armin’s. They hoped that their conversation would be fruitful and not one that destroyed them all.

*************

Levi got in to his car as Zad took the passenger seat sliding in with a thud. Erwin sat in the back, engrossed with his phone as they quickly pulled out of the venue parking lot and went down the long driveway onto the small service road that would stretch on for a few miles till they came to a small low lying bridge that went over a small sprawling creek that spread over the property on both sides of the land creating a story book look. After the bridge there would be railroad tracks and then the fated gas station. It should only take about ten to fifteen minutes and Zad settled in hoping to calm himself more.

Levi kept picking up speed as Erwin typed away on his phone. He noticed this but it wasn’t that uncommon for people to not follow the strict speed limit of 10 mph that was marked on the service road. Who really went that slow on a two lane in the woods? It had bends and sharp turns but nothing that hazardous in his opinion. The more he sat, the more Zadkiel realized he was upset that they’d let them go. He knew that was wrong of them to let them go free, people like that were dangerous and would always pop back up. Not to mention they had threatened him plainly and he would now need consider a course of action to avoiding his head being cut off. His words burst out of his mouth in the silent car, “I think we made a mistake.” Levi kept his eyes on the road as Erwin stayed glued to the phone. After a few seconds it was the Levi who spoke, a strange man in his opinion and only getting stranger, ‘About?” His deep voice reminded him of thunder. Zad looked at him, “Letting them go. It was a mistake. They’ll come back, they always do. Those kind need to be handled when they’re right in front of you.” Levi tched, “I see.” Zadkiel looked over at him again, unamused and bored look, Zad scoffed, “Well, you’re lame. Glad we got to bond.” He turned around after seeing something in the rear view mirror, “Is that pink purse yours?”

He heard Levi press down harder, flooring the gas and then they were suddenly in the other lane coming up on the bridge. Zad whipped his head around slamming his hands on the door and center consul, “WOAH Mother fucker slow down! What the-“ _Whoosh,_ The sound of metal coupled with the sudden and short impact, tire melting, _Screech._ Zad gritted his teeth as he saw a blur of red pass by.

Levi pulled quickly and deftly over on the far side of the road putting the car in park calmly, in fact, the eerie calm is what startled Zad the most. It’s not like he was some innocent person who’d never killed or done fucked up shit but this was on a new level. He just clipped, slammed, into another car and did it like he was merely parking or some other mundane task one does in a car. Zad looked in the mirror to check Erwin but even that was odd.

Erwin unbuckled his seatbelt in tandem with Levi before sliding the phone into the purse and stepping out of the car. He reached back inside pulling something out from the back pocket of Levi’s seat. He put on some leather gloves for colder weather and shut the door. Levi patted the tops of his thighs quickly like a drum, playing some beat of a song Zad didn’t know, before looking out across him out the window following Erwin’s path and form as he approached the car. Zadkiel saw it, the red Honda in the creek, it was only in a shallow ditch like area. The water parted around Erwin’s boots as he walked forward, it was like Moses stepping into the Nile. 

Zadkiel watched as Erwin approached the car, “Those people are alive in there.” He said slowly. Levi merely shrugged before replying, matter-of-a-fact, “Not for long.” Erwin pulled out his gun shooting the driver who had hit his head on the stearing wheel and was unconscious as the passenger screamed, begged, and pleaded, “No! NO! GOD NO! PLEA,” Erwin shot the passenger, the air bag delating that had save their life despite the drivers not opening. He walked around to the back, opening the car and removing all personal items. Then he went to the trunk to inspect it. He took the license plate, walked back to the front opening the door as the driver fell out, _not wearing a seat belt is such a bad decision,_ he thought as he took a multi tool and unscrewed the metal VIN plate. 

Zad kept his eye on him, Levi opened his door and went to the back pulling out a tarp, “They shouldn’t have come. I told him that I wouldn’t lose the next chance I had to kill them. Erwin wasn’t feeling so righteous anymore. He wanted to be the one who did it. We took Armin’s bag, texted them that he wanted to talk, they told us they’d wait at the bridge and what make and model.” “Killing is routine for you two?” “Instinct.” He removed a blue tarp and filled the back with it, “I need you to open your door.” 

Levi stepped over and Zad opened his door watching as a cool and collected Erwin approached with the items and the first body. He went to the back door and put the items in a bag that he hid where the spare tire was. He laid the body down and wrapped part of it before going back for the other one. Levi popped off the inside of the door, pushing the dent in his door out while inspecting the paint, “Is it bad?” “They’ll need to take the door but that’s fine. They’ll bring a replacement and do it while we’re at the party if they don’t pull up soon.” Erwin put the second body inside, “They’re okay with this?” Zad perked up, “Who?” Levi sighed, “My people.” He looked back at Erwin who was taking his gloves off, “Of course, this was necessary and I made them promise they could do whatever they wanted as long as they sent me what I requested.” Erwin nodded walking around to his side of the car, “Then let’s go to the gas station and maybe they can meet us there instead of the party. I’d rather we meet, exchange, and then head back. How long?” Levi looked at his watch, “Less than eight minutes now.” Zadkiel snorted, “We’re still keeping up that pretense? Why bother heading to the gas station and just meet them someone more secluded?” Levi looked at him, facial expression like “what? Of course we are”, his voice sounded like he was saying something so perfectly acceptable as a reason to continue to the gas station after murder, “Eren wants sour patch kids.”

***************

Hanji and Mike stood by the bar as Mikasa and David approached, “So, not to steal thunder from Armin but we know you two are the best to ask, what are we in for here?” David placed his hand lovingly on Mikasa’s stomach. Hanji laughed, “In school with a baby?” Mikasa grinned, “Yeah.” “Well,” Mike began, “you need a home front. Like, the best thing for y’all is to get a place and do that nesting thing quick. It’ll help when life gets out of control because at least your home will be yours and the way you want it. I’d say you better ask Erwin to line up properties, go with Levi to address safety issues, they’re really great at this stuff.” David smiled, “Yes, Levi likes to settle and take care of people. But, how is raising a child?” 

Hanji hummed, “It’s…not too bad actually. Well, we have Levi and Erwin and Sasha and Connie have really been there for us too which we were delighted by since I mean….okay, so when you have a baby you learn who is really your friend. People really show their true colors. Luckily, in this group, everyone is serious about friendships and sticking together. Sasha and Connie like spending time with us, they cook sometimes, ride horses with us, do archery with us, and we don’t feel like they see us as old and bringing them down. I just want y’all to understand some people will think that and that’s okay.”

Mikasa leaned against David, “Well, I think as long as Eren and Levi are around we’ll have some extra helping hands and be able to survive.” Hanji smirked in a very amused way as Mike finished his beer, “We’ll be around too but I get ya. They’ll be around till they have their own and then we’ll all be in a bind.” Hanji smiled, “Yeah, that baby making needs to get on with it.” David and Mikasa smiled, “If only Eren could get pregnant, damn. He’d have already started on giving Levi a little angsty mini-me.” Hanji cackled, “Oh god, what if it has a scowl like him on it’s face all the time?! I’d just have to pinch the shit out of those cute little cheeks.” 

Armin had started walking over to them until he heard the door open and Erwin, Levi, and Zad walked in. Levi had ice and so did Zad, two cases of beer and in Erwin’s hands was a bottle of champagne and a bottle of orange juice. Levi found Eren handing him his sour patch kids with a kiss on the cheek and tackling hugs from his beloved overly affectionate husband. Armin felt Erwin’s hands on his waist, “Baby?” “Yeah?” “I love you beyond words, my prince. I just want you to forget about what happened and enjoy our wedding tomorrow. Look at everything going on around us? It’s all going to be fine.” Armin regarded him, “Erwin, why?” Erwin moved him on the floor to the beat of the music, “Because, who would ever come back here with all of these lethal people here ready to fight? Who would want to fight the most lethal of all, me?” Armin snorted, “I love you, but you’re not that lethal. You’re made of marshmallow.” Erwin chuckled, “Am I not? I thought I was a cold blooded killer?” Armin barked a laugh, “Whatever, Mr. Smith. That’s tots me or Levi. So, hush.” Erwin and Armin partied with their friends and family through the night till it was late and the venue shut them down.

***************

At 11 pm at the hotel, Armin disappeared into Eren’s room, “Well, night daddy.” Armin’s chipper voice and quick exit from the side of the bed left Erwin’s head dizzy and spinning. He frowned, “Do you have to leave now?” He and Levi were reclined on the bed with beers around them, drinking heavily to postpone the negative feelings that they’d have to eventually tell Armin what they’d done, Zad was in the hotel bar downstairs himself but trying to understand the complicated Levi who seemed to be a dark force attached to Erwin and that made his nervous. Erwin whined, “It’s not midnight, yet.” Armin stood in the doorway, “I want to hang out with Eren and snuggle in the nice clean bed all warm and snug as a bug in a rug.” 

Eren stood up shakily, “Hell yes, I’m beat.” Eren moved into the room waving to Levi who whined, “Brat, where’s my kiss?” Eren smirked, “I’m sorry, you’ll get it at the altar tomorrow.” Levi looked outraged, “But it’s not our wedding day!” Eren snickered, “Distance makes the heart grow fonder.” Levi scowled, “I’ll wreck you.” Erwin rolled his head over, sad look of a puppy on his face, “Am I not enough Levi? I feel like you’re telling me I’m not enough for you tonight.” Levi snorted, “My god, I hate you.” Armin and Eren shut the door crawling in bed.

***************

Armin’s [pajamas](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/7f/bd/4e/7fbd4ee06dcdecb8550d78066ff450f0.jpg) were sweet and Eren liked how they felt. He kept rubbing the fabric between his fingers as they snuggled, whispering about Grisha and the nights events, “When they came in Levi fucking tensed up and I thought, oh no, I’m like that, I make that face. He’ll kill them.” Armin rolled his eyes, “He should have. What if they come tomorrow?” Eren nuzzled him more, “They won’t. Plus….what’s with the undercurrent of sexual tension between you and Zad. Also, he’s a fuckin’ GILF.” “He isn’t a grandpa Eren, he’s a father. So, DILF. But, there is nothing between us. I hate him.” “Really? You wanted him here. He’s walking you down the aisle.” Armin pouted, scowl on his face, “It’s complicated.” Eren smirked, “Obviously.” Armin bit the tip of his nose,“Shut up.” 


	87. Wedding Day Prt 1

Armin rolled over searching for Eren. It was early, really early. They didn’t need to be up and showered for almost two hours and even that was being strict because in reality they had about four hours till they needed to be done with hair and makeup for those who needed it and ready for pictures. Armin found Eren, pushing his nose between his shoulder blades and breathing him in. He loved him, loved Erwin, loved Levi and yeah, maybe he was cool with Zadkiel but he was a stupid face doodie head. He was happy that this was all happening for him right now. His goal when planning was to have the most decadent and fabulous wedding possible because he’d never thought that that would ever be possible for him.

Eren moved, he rolled over to face him, blinking the sleep from his eyes, “Arm?” Armin grinned, voice amused, “Yeah?” Eren grinned like a fox, “It’s your wedding day!” He whispered enthusiastically. Armin giggled, “I know. Wow. I never thought I’d see the day.” Eren started to bounce around on his side shaking the bed, “So excited!” He grinned whisper yelling. Armin giggled, “It’s early.” “Yeah, like…super early.” “Want a hand job and then breakfast?” Eren started to die laughing, “Why the fuck are you always so horny? LIKE damn.” Armin shrugged looking smug, “Just am. I was a prostitute in a lot of lives and no one ever complained at home just sayin’.” Eren barked a laugh, “True, don’t really want you to stop.” Armin grinned, “I was just thinking, you know, get the day going like bosses, go get some junk to eat, listen to some dope beats, be awesome in general.” Eren ran his hands through his hair, “Mmmm sounds great. We have to order food here though. Levi’s gunna be hung over and I don’t want to take his keys and wake him up and him be mad.”

Armin smirked, “Can I put some mood music on?” Eren laughed again, “Yeah.” Armin gave him a devious look, “We can take and send pictures to Levi.” “Damn, cruel to Erwin don’t you think?” “He gets me for a week to himself.” “Don’t remind me.” Eren frowned, “I’m tired of being away from you.” “We live together.” “You know what I mean.” “I know what song I’m going to play just because of it.” Armin reached over putting his IPod in the speakers and turning the song on:

_Come on now sugar, come. I really don't wanna go home. Stay with me, be a friend. These streets so cold. And my mind's full of goals. Come up now we take your car. I know a sleazy bar. Not far downtown you get tacos for free. And it's open all night, come on hang with me. I got money, I got money (I pay for you, I pay for you). I got money, I got money (if you pray for me, would you pray for me) I got money, I got money (if you pray for me, would you pray for me)”_

Armin rolled back towards Eren who was smiling like goofball, “Mood Music = Successful sexy times.” Armin grinned kissing Eren softly as there hands gently explored each other and cupped the curves of their body. Eren pulled away, “Oh yeah, sexy morning time. I gotta film this for Levi.” He put his phone on the side table, angling it just right to get the length of them, “ “And….action.” Armin rolled over on his back as Eren moved a bit more on top of his chest, hands pulling at each others clothes teasingly. Eren’s lips covered Armin’s softly pulling at them while he moaned sensually.

__

  
_“Stay with me tonight. We can count the street lights. Stay with me alright. Let's bring it all back to life. Don't fade away. Stay.”_  


__

  
_“I like it here, fuck work. Plus you said your boss is a jerk. I need you now, don't bang on me. Imma break your shit, let's do what we always used to do. Stupid around like two fools. Nights are longer, I feel alone. You look after me, it hurts”_  


Armin lifted his shirt off as Eren did his own. Armin grabbed the camera, “Close ups are always good.” He laughed as Eren pulled both of their shorts down slowly, angling the camera down, while Armin sighed and made all sorts of noises they knew would drive them insane. The light was filtering into the room, sunshine and blue skys. The day was going to be beautiful. It was innocent and fun in the room and Armin and Eren felt like they were fifteen again, free and happy.

__

  
_“I got money, I got money (I pay for you, I pay for you) I got money, I got money (if you pray for me, would you pray for me) Stay with me tonight. We can count the street lights. Stay with me alright. Let's bring it all back to life. Don't fade away. Stay.”_  


Eren and Armin kissed each other breathless, eyes shinning with amusement, breaths hitching as each other rubbed tenderly against one another, “Touch me,” Armin’s breathy request and Eren’s granting of it when he took them both in his hands, moving against both erections with slow deliberate movements for the remainder of the song. _What a way to wake up on a wedding day,_ Armin thought to himself. He laughed and so did Eren, apparently he’d said it aloud. He was joyous, nay, he felt festive. 

__

_“One more. Come on. It's not a big deal (it's not a big deal). One more (one more, girl). On me (come on). Then we go home. It's not a big deal (it's not a big deal). One more (one more). Come on (come on). It's not a big deal (it's not a big deal). One more (one more). On me (on me, girl). Then we go home (then we go home). It's not a big deal (it's not a big deal)”_

__

  
_“Stay with me tonight. We can count the street lights. Don't fade away. Stay with me alright. Let's bring it all back to life. Don't fade away. Stay”_  


Armin and Eren both took turns in the shower and called for food. Eren sent the film to Levi while the music played and he knew that he was already awake because in return he got a picture of Levi flicking him off next to a still sleeping Erwin. Armin opened the the fridge pulling out his champagne and orange juice supply, “My god, you live off of those.” Armin smiled, “I’m high class, Eren. I drink champagne and drip gold.” Eren cackled, “Hmm I’m hungry.” Armin patted his stomach, “I am too.” Just then a small parcel was pushed under their door with a small note. “It’s an…evelope.” Eren opened it, “Mami and Brat, have a few little bumps. We know you’ve opened the champagne. P.S. We hate you two.” Armin snickered as Eren read the note in Levi’s same monotone voice, “He’ll kill me if I keep being mean.” “Did you send the video?” “Yeah.” “Let’s make vines before we meet the others to get ready.” And with that Armin popped the champagne bottle, Eren opened the door to the food they ordered, and the vine saga began.

****************

Armin bumped again as Eren bounced on the bed with a paper crown on they made and a blanket like a cape. They were riding over with Marco and Jean to the venue so being sober wasn’t a big deal. Now, leaving would be interesting since everyone would be fighting for cars back but they hadn’t given the cars a time the wedding would end. They tended to party till the early hours of the morning. Armin was in his robe, dress in the bag, bag of everything else and luggage packed. Eren and he were blowing bubbles from one of the gift bags the hotel gave them. They were enjoying their day together. It seemed like the last hoorah and that made Armin sad.

Was this really the last day before growing up? Was he ready to grow up?

He stood, body pulsing, music flooding, the pull of his [lingerie](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/09/a7/30/09a730c0347e7790ba18f33dee560bb7.jpg) beneath his sheer white lace robe he’d had Eren make photos of him in to send to Erwin making him shudder. He was going to wear this on the honey moon and wanted Erwin to get a taste. He looked at himself, cat whiskers painted on in red lipstick, he smiled.

His hair was so long now and he looked so womanly, manly, both. He really enjoyed the fluidity of it all and he knew his pictures would look great. He’d worried that Erwin or the others would have tried to persude him to not wear a dress but that wasn’t so. He actually had two dresses, and a few other options in case he wanted to change again before leaving. He was a little prince and he didn’t care. Eren’s hands were on his waist, “Let’s go.” He held the phone up, taking another selfie of them. He’d been sending their more risqué vine and selfies to Levi and he heard them both groan occasionally at a good one.

***************

When Eren and Armin got in to the hummer they laughed, “Um this is Erwin’s and Levi’s car.” Jean and Marco slid in, “They snooze, they lose.” They had the windows down and Armin and Eren took more videos and selfies to send to their lovers. Jean and Marco were more lovey dovey than normal. Jean kept a close watch on Marco and his hand stayed on him in some way. Well, until they started dancing and singing and Jean cast him to the side to twerk the entire ride.

Erwin wasn’t going to let his car being stolen away from him ruin his day. He and Levi took the special pink limo they were going surprise Armin with and went to taco bell, sure to take as much photographical evidence as possible. Levi letting the cheese from his quasolupe hang out of his mouth as he mean mugged the camera with his black raybands shinning. Erwin was rolling in tacos for 10 dollars, boxes on his arms like shoulder pads. They had mimosas and bourbon shooters. They were living life la vida loca and even had time to record themselves singing Lana Del Rey’s, "young and beautiful," before entering into, "welcome to the jungle." This wedding day was looking like a lot of fun and it wasn't even the after party yet.

*****************

Mikasa had her hair in rollers as Ms. Kirschstein ran around getting all the finishing touches in order. The photographer was setting up to take pictures of everyone getting ready as they walked in. Armin stood in the middle of the pack, white silk robe on, gold aviators shinning in the light, dress bag over one arm, iced coffee in one hand, and a myriad of people around him with their things on their arms and roll carts of more and more coming in. He sat down, falling back on the plush circle ottoman, it was huge and he quickly made himself at home as everyone buzzed around changing, singing, and buzzing around him. Armin closed his eyes, he was happy.

****************

“Do you wanna know what it is?” He asked as the hairstylist combed through his hair prepping it alongside Mikasa, already [dressed](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/6d/37/8c/6d378c6467203287c82de5e9ac985b2b.jpg) and gorgeous, who was getting her make up done, “I don’t really want to know but if we do find out it’s easier to plan so I think that’s best.” Armin hummed, “I bet it’s a boy.” “I do too, actually.” “Would David be super happy about a little mini-me?” Mikasa laughed out loud, “Ha! I hope for my sake I’m not going to incubate a giant.” She turned to him, “So, are you excited?” Armin smirked, “So excited.” “Good.” “Why?” “Because David is going to turn up for us both.” Armin laughed as Mikasa tapped him, “Show me the shoes. I’ve heard a lot about these shoes that Erwin said killed his bank account.” Armin rolled his eyes, “It made not even the slightest dent it’s disgusting.” He reached into his bag and pulled out the [shoe](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/a6/0e/5d/a60e5d636fd182be348d5d3f2126389a.jpg) he’d be wearing. Mikasa’s eyes lit up and she whistled. Just then Marco came out of the bathroom, “WOOOOO YEAH, THIS IS WHAT I’M WEARING!” 

Armin and everyone else turned around to look at him and they all burst into laughter, “What? Don’t you like my chaps?” In the bathroom there were costumes in a small wardrobe for other events coming up and he had found a cowboy outfit and the biker outfit and was currently wearing the ten gallon hat with assless chaps. His red underwear was on and the group whistled and cat called as he walked around, “I’m magic Marco.” Eren was in stitches, “Where is your mighty steed?” Marco raised an eyebrow, “Hmmm I don’t know actually.” 

Just then naying was heard from the other bathroom and Jean appeared with a lasso, handkerchief, and horse mask on. He started to fake gallop around the room while Eren rolled on the floor crying and laughing. “Wooooah there, boy.” Marco said in much humor, eyes shining with love and laughter, “Better feed you some oats.” Jean’s muffled voice came through the mask, “Better be oats of love.” Marco was dying of laughter.

****************

Hanji and Mike were getting Mila ready while David and Levi tormented Erwin with strange religious traditions that he was half sure they were inventing just to get his goat but he felt really special because of that. He’d been jealous of David ever since he appeared and now was no different. It was just that the level wasn’t as high. He was Levi’s blood brother, someone Levi had to call his. He’d been sure that that would mark the end of them but it hadn’t and instead David had become more relaxed around him and he David. He was Armin’s rock when he needed someone outside of them. He was Mikasa’s husband and therefore, he was Eren’s fun brother-in-law and more to him legally than Erwin really was dispite their intimate relationship. In fact, David was so uninvolved in everyone’s lives like Erwin was that his traditional cut and dry role made Erwin even more insecure.

But now, as he squirted him with silly string and drank sweet wine he got just for Erwin for the wedding, singing wedding songs in Hebrew and Yiddish, he just loved him. He felt nothing but love for the people around him and hoped that they’d all stay just like this, a family that’s extended but extremely close. Levi laid on the floor and Hanji walked on his back cackling each time he moaned and groaned about how they weren’t doing it right. Mike and Erwin posed for photographs as they all dressed.

The groomsmen all had the same [tux](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/bb/01/ca/bb01ca2ab31111cf2631bc3601ceb79d.jpg) save for [Erwin’s](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/58/c8/ff/58c8ffa1bbe8ce0e59f4b53de9c827b1.jpg) which which was slightly different. [Hanji](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/6c/1d/2e/6c1d2ea913d0746ecf1fa8e7a08a3ef3.jpg) and [Petra](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/de/75/f3/de75f3ce661b9d439dbe880d554cc15b.jpg) pulled their dresses on as Eld danced with Levi to the loud music. Erwin pulled out a few boxes, “Hanji, please take these wedding gifts to Armin.” Hanji snorted, “Erwin Smith, just how must jewelry do you buy him and where are my jewels of friendship?” Petra laughed, “I know, I wish I was as decked out as he is.” Erwin grinned, “These are family pieces. But, he does have something special for all the women so don’t worry. We give back to our friends.” Hanji grinned, “I’ll hold you to that!” 

************************

Hanji appeared in the room, nearly running over Sasha as she ate take out. She had a bib on protecting her [dress](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/22/ae/b9/22aeb904e08c35f24886009797b8ddb6.jpg) from food and Connie was playing his Nintendo while she fed him occasionally. They were perfect for each other. “I come bearing gifts from your future husband.” Armin turned around, makeup and hair done, little [lingerie](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/57/35/6f/57356feab2119708dfa232d4ec10e6e8.jpg) set soft in the light, “OOOOOHHHH YESSSSSS,” He stood up as Eren walked over and the rest looked on as the flash of the photographer took pictures of the event, “By the way, I have a gift for all the girls to wear with their dresses.” Armin ran back to his bag searching, “Here we go.” He gave each girl a diamond art deco [bracelet](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/11/34/51/1134510b0a4cd79221f0adff39419a68.jpg) and Jean and Eren made sad noises and talked about feminism should let them get jewels too to which Marco turned to ask Jean why he didn’t lavish him like Erwin and he shut up.

Hanji opened the bag and Armin opened each box revealing [earrings](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/9b/0a/e3/9b0ae3f7a1767c950ad96c46e08f7ac5.jpg), [ a necklace](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a7/42/84/a74284ef1a34e4e5e5147f6b7fde04f7.jpg), and a strange hand [bracelet](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/54/2a/a6/542aa60a8a45cd436c5eaa62c7b66d94.jpg) that they all thought was weird but decadent. He also wrote a little note that made Armin tear up, corners of his mouth twisting into a smile. Erwin Smith owned his heart, owned his everything and he was so very utterly happy.

__

Armin, my love,

_Those moments in the morning when you’re waking up, the soft duvet around you, that messy blond crown of golden silk splayed out over the pillow case and the look in your eyes as you blink the remainder of sleep’s precious sand from them squinting in the hazy morning light that illuminates you like an angel. I am left breathless at the sight of you._

_When you disappear into the closet you little nymph, I know what you’re doing. I watch from the other door unbeknownst to you in the shadows sometimes for hours while you tirelessly arrange things and rearrange them so that my morning routine is always the same, easy, comfortable. You run me and mine like a well oiled machine. My coffee is always hot with care, notes hidden in places of love, lunches with cholesterol in mind made boasting sandwhiches in the shape of famous military general’s mustaches, the little things you do for me are numerous and I thank you, I am in awe of you. It reminds me daily that without you and before you, I was hopeless._

You are constant presence buzzing, humming a song I feel in my bones, a song I have always known but until you came into my life it was wordless. Now it comprises of things like: I love you, take care, come home soon, don’t leave me, here’s lunch, it’s your favorite movie, when we get older, when we have children, when we go here and there, you and I, yours and mine, ours. My heart beats we, we, we, we, we, we, we, us. Every day I am right where I want to be because you are home for me.

_There are times were you speak and the beauty of your mind amazes me, leaves me wanting, makes me crave, makes me desperate for more, more, more. With you, I am always wanting more. More laughter, more smiles, more touches, more time. I wish there were more hours in the day for I would count them like I do your lashes when you sleep: tenderly, in awe._

_When you paint your nails, rose and opal; when you paint your toes, rounded and smoothed; when you smooth the comb through your hair, long and lavish; when you bat your lashes, lighter than air; when your lips are painted, wine and petal; when you don yourself in a flurry of furs, soft and warm; when you walk down the hall, dripping in gold; you are the sweet sinful sister of my humid summer days and sultry seductress of my winter nights._

_When you take off your lashes, glue and water; when you leave your heels by the door, muddy and worn; when you take off your furs, sticky and matted; when you pull back your hair, high and tight; when you cut your hair, boyish and blunt; when you take your polish off, chipped and jagged; when you wipe off the layers of painted lips and cheeks; pale and pure skin; when your toes are covered in socks, kittens and guns; you are the boisterous bosom buddy of my youth and the sophisticated handsome handful of my autumn, you are the secret to eternal life._

_I wish I could lay at the altar of my love, wear sackcloth and ash up my forehead, shadow of the cross cast over me. It’s true, I don’t believe like I used to. The cross means little in the way of that man born of a woman named M. But the symbolism does not leave me. For you are the lamb, blood pure and powerful. You are the unleavened bread, hard and filling. You are the virgin, pure and angelic. You are the reward for perfect faith and perfect practice thereof. You are the body and blood, the wine and the chalice, the bread and the basket. I’d gladly let them nail me to the symbol of your suffering if only for a moment you would bless me with your attentions for you are my religion._

__

I love you, Armin. I am but a lowly man and not worthy of your attention but if you’ll let me, I’ll try every day to become worthy and make you as happy as you make me. With all of my love, Erwin.

*****************

The group met on the [stairs](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/9d/ad/69/9dad69c9fea99d18ecbfb32de052371f.jpg) save for Erwin and Armin who would later meet to see each other for their first look. Eren walked over to Levi who ignored him while bouncing Mila from hip to hip until she saw Eren and cried out to him, “Mila’ka, you betray me.” Eren grinned, “She knows who’s the best. Come her my little princess.” Levi passed her as the photographer lined everyone up, snapping photos as guests poured in. Opa Arlert had arrived and was photographed as well. His flight had been delayed due to storms and recent terror attacks in Europe and he’d only just gotten in their morning and was upset he might miss his grandson’s wedding, the most important day in his young life.

He’d mourned Armin when the news came in that he’d died. He’d sat in his study carving toy soldiers and planes into the wee hours. The mint green wallpaper old and stark against the heavy red wood furniture. On his table, among the shavings, pictures of Armin littered his peripherals and he did not cry, he did not let himself fall into despair. He was German _und deutsche Jungen weinen nicht._ (German boys don’t cry.)

Now he was waiting to see his grandson, the apple of his eye. He was so smart, so talented, so clever. His mind had always impressed him and then when he told him he’d met someone similar Atticus could hardly believe it. When he saw Armin he was a little taken aback. It wasn’t that he had a problem with it, but it was shocking to see his grandson dressed as a woman and an extremely attractive one to boot. He floated down the stairs,[headpiece](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/65/d2/db/65d2dbf1b844b059aef001be0fc18434.jpg) and jewelry shinning under the lights. His smile lit up the room, "Opa! I'm so glad to see you! Will you walk me down the isle with Zadkiel? I know you don't know him but he volunteered yesterdsy because I didn't have any one and Erwin is coming out with Rabbi Berkovitch so he can’t go with him as some sort of representation." Atticus smiled, "I'd be more than honored. You look stunning." Armin smiled, "Thank you. I have to make pictures but first," Armin took off towards him like he had when he was a child. 

He embraced him fully and Atticus smiled ear to ear. His precious blossoming boy, like a wild rose opening its petals to the world for the first time. He had spoken with Erwin by phone often, the were closer than one would think. Erwin always put forth the extra effort for Armin and he loved that about him. Someone needed to take care of him after all this time and who better than a battle hardened marine?

Armin went to take pictures and when it came time for him to dissappear for Erwin's turn his stomach was in playful knots due to the anticipation of him seeing Erwin for the firs time. True, it wouldn't be the first sinxe everyone was talking about their instagram wars but it would be the first in person in over 16 hours. He rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet thinking back to his own wedding day. His wife had been beautiful, dark sandy blonde hair, blue eyes, sweet smile. Her sister had married the same day, had a daughter like they did. But as was the waynwith their family bith girls fell into bad situations. He wondered where he went wrong. He wondered where she was, Armin's father too, he knew ultimately it wasn't up to him and he was only a pawn in the grand scheme of things. 

Armin had always been destined for great things in his mind. He'd wanted him to become a doctor or perform some sort of scientific research but that wasn't what Armin had pestered him about. He wanted to know about the world, about the whole world and the history of the world. He knew the signs, knew that he was starting down the dangerous path he'd been warned of. His mother blinked at the red envelope on the table with the penmanship of the Reiss family secretary on it. "I don't know why it has to be us." She hissed, "I don't have time for it. He's in the school, we keep a lock on his studies. My God, we don't have a TV nor Internet. He only sees what we want him to see. Why bother with this?" 

Atticus had frowned as Adam opened it with ease, "Because it all has to come together this time from what they say. It's been almost 50 years." She pouted, twirling a piece of hair around her fingers. When she spoke, she was bitter and childish, "Its revenge. Its just payback for that one time. That one time we tried to run away. We've been the butt of their retribution for lifetimes over and I'm tired. Send him off. Just send him away." "They won't take him. You know that they won't take him because he has to bring them all together. Also, that Smith boy, he's got to find him." "Whhhyyy?" "Because now the fortune is larger, the power is needed and he is needed." 

Adam played with the card, "He's special, too, you know. Erwin Smith. His mother she's been, you know...." Adele looked feral, "A debased whore. She's nothing special." "She is special and like a spider she has her web cast far and wide. Only time and the sunlight will reveal their thin transparent remnants." "Gabriel Smith and Marilyn....a match made in hell. One a forgotten prince and the other...." _and the whore of Babylon shall rise up, her monster of many heads beneath her, clad in purple, stained in blood, and she will usher in the destruction of the world._ Atticus shuddered at the thought but pushed forward. Grisha Jaeger had done so much on his own that maybe this time Armin would be free. But, he’d hoped before only to be let down. Hannes was still alive, though, if barely.

Erwin was waiting at the top of the stairs. He looked down at Levi who winked, causing him to start grinning golden and handsome. Everyone was waiting just as nervously as he was for Armin to appear and then they heard him. He was walking down the side stairs, smiling brightly as he approached Erwin’s back. Everyone was trying hard not to make Erwin turn around but their red blushing faces told him Armin was behind him. He closed his eyes, anticipating the delicate soft touch of Armin on his shoulders. When he turned around he was left breathless, like the day he opened the door of his dorm, the moment he saw his name on the class register, the moment he walked in to the lobby and saw that shinning mess of blond hair and his cute little smile. He’d known that on the outside he looked sugary sweet but oh how he’d come to find out just how dynamic and sassy that little boy could be and those lips, how wicked they could look and the sassy words they’d form around.

Erwin smiled as [Armin](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/61/30/d6/6130d647f049f48d97deee5c358bcc6a.jpg) moved forward, throwing his arms around his neck and kissing him. Both were greeted to applause and the line up needed to begin. Ms. Kirschstein moved in a flurry of arms and legs poking and prodding to put everyone in their place. Erwin walked down the stairs keeping Amrin’s hand in his. He kissed it softly before leaving. Zadkiel felt a blossoming of warmth as he came to stand beside Armin with Atticus on the other side. Zadkiel stepped over, he didn’t want to say anything that could ruin the moment. Her words rushed into his mind, soft like feathers, _“All I am, Zad, is a lie. Gabe doesn’t understand the burden I bear, for them, for him, for my people. I was the happiest when I was at the alter with him, a man I had met on my own, a man who loved me as I am and not what I would become, a man who trusted in silence more than in spoken word, a man who saw me and my love and said “it is good enough.””_ Zadkiel wanted to cry, _Marilyn, I’m standing next to the boy who is going to marry your son, freely, of his own accord, and one of them is standing on the other side of him._

The doors opened and everyone started to walk down the isle as tears of joy found their way to the corners of Armin’s eyes. His grandfather smiled proudly as they stepped forward and Zadkiel started to realize that a world without her was a very, very lonely one. _“I think I fell in love with you, Marilyn Reiss.”_


	88. Wedding Day Prt 2: Armin as Lecha Dodi

Armin walked to the end of the [isle](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/c6/9f/d0/c69fd0fa8a86c8a3a8b6b7dead94a671.jpg) where Erwin beamed. Berkovitch asked, “Who gives this man to be married?” Zadkiel waited for Atticus, “I do, his grandfather.” There was something odd about it and Zad let it go because it wasn’t noticeable to Armin who smiled and trembled excitedly, “and his future father-in-law.” Zadkiel looked to Atticus, _so that’s how it’s going to be._ Armin kissed his grandfather’s cheek and then turned, surprisingly to Zad. He kissed Zad’s cheek before skipping up towards Erwin. Zad touched the area where his lips had been, he smirked a bit, chuckling to himself. _You would have loved him, Marilyn. He’s sweet poison like you._

Berkovitch had asked them what vows they wanted. He’d been respectful but also stern that he didn’t want anything too about Jesus and Erwin had laughed so loudly that Armin started to laugh as well as he waited for an explanation. “Rabbi, we asked you, a Rabbi, to officiate because we know you, you know us and we certainly would never ask such of you. Plus, if we’re being totally honest, well if I am because I can’t speak for Armin, I lost faith a long time ago in Jesus and that southern Baptist mentality. Marco and Jean are the only practicing Christians in this house to my knowledge and we respect them because they respect us.” Berkovitch let his wall down a bit because curiousity got the best of him, “Why?”

Erwin sat back in his seat, sighing a bit, drumming his hands on his thighs, “Levi.” Berkovitch smiled, “I don’t follow but he’s an interesting man for sure.” Erwin chuckled, “You know what, let me tell you something that you can’t repeat. Okay?” Berkovitch nodded and Erwin continued, “We were kidnapped when we were in the marines and it was…eight months of hell. Levi, being a Jew, was tortured daily and I just stood next to him and took it with him. I went through things that I would have never had to go through if I had just done what they wanted, left him, killed him, hurt him myself. I saw him bear the weight of things I’ve never thought about existing in the first place, let alone being placed on someone’s shoulders. He lost God, or so he told me, but then he said he found it when we got out and we were in Eygpt heading to Israel. I never contradicted him because I can’t but honestly, he was God for me since day one. He was there, he was my protector, his tiny bits of wisdom he gave to me fed me, my soul felt nourished by him and his thoughts and his people’s thoughts. The ways of Jews are much more in keeping with what I’ve seen of the world and what I personally believe. I’m Jewish myself, I only recently found that out after my mother’s diary came into my possesion. But, I’m not sure what that really means to me personally because I only know what it means to Levi and have seen it through Levi’s eyes and his experience and his identity. His identtity is so different from what mine will be.”

Berkovitch nodded, this was very interesting to him and he enjoyed it. “I think that that makes sense, Erwin. Perhaps, you should explore this all more. You know, sometimes it’s just a journey. Our goal should be to become better people. I don’t believe that people are going to hell or anything like that. I believe as long as you have a relationship with the one God then you’re fine. And what that “relationship” is…..well….as you know…most of us Jews don’t care what that is as long as you consider it that. We don’t ask about your beliefs, is God near or far, does he talk to you, does he comfort you with a presence, we don’t care. We know that perfect faith through perfect practice isn’t a fit for everyone. No one can be perfect. We think our rituals make us closer to God but it’s about the community. Christianity is like a club, it has perks and it’s easy or somewhat easy to join. When you disagree with your group you can split and make another and another as long as you just believe in a few key things and somehow salvation is revocable. Perfect faith, perfect belief, perfect salvation. Not so in Judaism. We’re a family and we don’t take just anyone into the flock because this is a family that is often tourtured and persecuted. You need to be Jewish sort of before you are Jewish.”

Armin had remained silent and when Erwin looked over he had one lone tear running down his cheek. Berkovitch reached out to comfort him, “Why are you crying?” Armin looked startled, “I didn’t know I was. Sorry.” He wiped his face, “I just realized how much I…I never really had a healthy relationship with religion. I was…it’s too complicated but…I have been very anti-religion and I think that I may have just had some sort of revelation. If Levi found God…why can’t I?” Berkovitch smiled, “Why not? Anything is possible. It might be what helps you heal. It might not. You never know unless you start out on the jounry.” Berkovitch smiled fully, placing the chess piece in front of him from their earlier game, “It will be a journey, that I can promise you.”

Now Berkovitch was standing before them as he started the ceremony, “I spoke with these two at length when they returned from their travels this summer about their vows. They told me a lot about themselves, about their hopes, their dreams, and even their personal beliefs. I believe we are all fated to meet certain people and that those people lead us where we need to go. But, there is this one special person that walks with us, because they too share the same path, and we go on a journey with them.” Armin held Erwin’s hand as he smiled, Eren and Levi wanted to cry as they looked at one another and their friends, lovers, brothers, family. Everyone felt the love in the room for what it was, pure.

“Their journey wasn’t without it’s perials. Many of you know the obsticals that were in their way and many of you know that there is hardly a better match for either to be found. The home you share, the cat you raise,” many people laughed as Erwin blushed remembering that tiny loud kitten annoying Levi to the point where he almost started shooting people, _“There is a cat, Erwin. I swear to god, you handle it.” “But, Levi I am very tired.” “THE BIRDS, ERWIN, THE FUCKING BIRDS! I HAVE DONE MY DUTY AND IF YOU PUSH ME I WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING.” “You’re right, you’re right.” “I know I am. By the way, clean your room you flithly animal,”_ “the accounts you share, the investments you have made, you two have done things most married couples years older than you two would have had issues with and you’ve made it through. You two are stronger than anything that may come your way. Never doubt one another and that strength you posses because it is the source of everything good in you and the world. Truth, love, respect, and trust. That is what a marriage is. You know this, you have it. You even share that with these two.” Berkovitch motioned to Levi and Eren as the crowed looked on, some nodding, married couples agreeing, young people hoping, and Ms. Kirschstein crying because she was always sentimental at weddings.

“So now, I come to your part, the vows.” Berkovitch crossed his arms as Erwin turned to get Armin’s [band,](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/b1/29/e8/b129e847da49c03a066ba6053b861966.jpg) “With this ring, you are made holy to me, for I love you as my soul. You are now my husband.” Armin was so moved, his face so emotional it made Levi weak. Eren was a wreck behind him and Jean’s sniffling was audible as he offered Armin his handkerchief. Armin turned to Eren, handing him his [bouquet,](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/c6/de/0b/c6de0bc2753598a83566aec78eeee016.jpg) taking the [ring](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/01/17/55/011755450c56df46086a4f2c26d57458.jpg) for Erwin between his finger, his voice emotional and hand shaking, “With this ring, you are made holy to me, for I love you as my soul. You are now my husband.” Armin and Erwin peered into one another’s eyes, “I love you, Erwin Smith.” Armin whispered as Erwin wiped away tears from his cheek, “I love you, Armin Smith.” Berkovitch gave a jolly chuckle, “That’s my job, stop jumping ahead.” The room was once again filled with giggles, “I now pronounce you husband and husband, may God bless you and your life, your children, and may he forever cover you in the sukkah of his peace.” Armin liked that addition, he always enjoyed that prayer from Shabbat, _may you cover of us in your sukkah of peace._ Erwin cupped his face and he raised up slightly to meet his lips as they kissed sweetly and lovingly for the cameras while their friend hooted and hollered in joy.

David cleared his throat revealing a white cloth with something wrapped inside, “You know…if you want to.” Armin smiled brightly as Erwin chuckled, eyes shinning, thin lines crinkling at the corners, as he took the glass and put it on the floor before stomping as the guests and wedding party cheered. Erwin took Armin’s face again, this time pulling him into his arms where he leaned him back in a flurry of flashes from the photographer.

The guests were asked to head to the [cocktail hour](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/3d/c4/37/3dc4374d1e1c4523ae1cc6f1e3e2ff74.jpg) where tables were for them to sit and drink and also where they would also find their [table](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/51/2d/1f/512d1fd7c484de33d92870522ca15cbe.jpg) numbers. There was a table to sign the [guest](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/06/8b/ff/068bff2607216f19cc2ab0fceb735cdd.jpg) book with an old recorder on it, [balloons](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/8b/04/64/8b04648498c547fed6f22f7f24c17d19.jpg) littered the ceilings in all of the rooms including the reception area, and then they could eventually from the cocktail room enter the [reception](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e9/d1/f9/e9d1f9f37a4c19a7709508f86c196ed7.jpg) area where their tables where [set](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/3c/8a/a6/3c8aa630f8fd9ea51e4ebcb5cca402f5.jpg), [chairs](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/00/41/54/004154a13a204e71bdb3544a12273102.jpg) decorated, and outside their get away [car](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/58/7f/f3/587ff388962e1814515c1ad01ef42e2e.jpg) had pulled up for pictures and the staged leaving photo. Armin and Erwin were on cloud nine as they took pictures with their family and friends. They entered the reception dancing and singing before stepping over to cut their [cake](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/0a/36/e8/0a36e808199141d7ba28f20324145a86.jpg) for the photographer. They wanted the statged traditional photos over and done with before the real party began. Armin even had a grooms [cake](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/04/b3/b2/04b3b25d19dcbea3fef1648eac76e5dc.jpg) with different flavers that the main cake. They loved them and couldn’t believe that Giovanni Bodt had made them. He had mumbled something about having taken cake baking and decorative lessons and Marco swore he was talented but this was something else. They needed to exploit this skill.

Erwin and Armin sat down to dinner with the rest of the guests. Erwin held Armin’s hand under the table as a few toasts were given. Levi stepped up, speaking breiefly yet profoundly about how Erwin’s friendship and love had changed his life but he’d never seen him more at home, at peace, and in love than with Armin. Armin completed Erwin and made Erwin stronger. Eren talked about his relationship with Armin and how he’d always wanted him to find someone like Erwin, someone who’d take care of him the way he needed be, physically and mentally. They both made many people cry and the couple was happy that they had these speeches filmed. Mike’s was particularly touching too and so was Owen’s about how Erwin was like a son to him and he was honored to be there and to have known him. Zadkiel and Owen were fast friends and that made them smile as they ate and watched them chat away like chatty cathys. Armin stole kisses every now and then and Erwin felt like he was back in highschool blushing when someone said they liked them in a note in his locker.

After a while, Jean approached and pulled them both to the center of the room. They were both a little confused but interested. Jean got everyone’s attention, “We’re going to have the newlyweds play a game.” He turned to them and said loud enough for everyone to hear, “Give him your shoe and you give him your shoe. Hold one of yours and his in each hand.” Armin and Erwin smiled at each other in a very “what? Oooh, okay. Lulz” way. They each sat in their respective chairs, back to back, before he continued, “Okay, I’m going to ask a question and you’re going to answer who you think would do it by lifting their shoe. For instance: Who is more likely to bring a cat home? And you’ll lift either Armin’s shoe or Erwin’s shoe. Got it?” Both nodded, smiling as the room was full of hushed laughter.

“Okay, so who steal’s the covers?” Erwin immediately shot up Armin’s shoe as the guests snickered and laughed. Armin rolled his eyes, knowing he had done that and lifted his own shoe. Jean smiled, “Armin is a cover hog. I can attest to that and everyone he ever camped with can too.” Eren hooted and was followed by more laughter, “Who forgets to take out the trash?” Armin shot Erwin’s shoe up and Erwin shrugged in shame as he lifted his own. “Who wants to cuddle all the time even when it’s not comfortable?” Both seemed to ponder before both lifted both hands. “Oh, a tie?” Erwin looked around before lowering his, “Ahhh way to sell him out. Armin it is.” Armin turned a bit and hit him with his shoe. “Who is older?” Armin’s hand shot up with Erwin’s shoe, “Who is the better driver?” Armin shot up his own shoe as Erwin put Armin’s up as well. “Who is smarter?” A round of Ooooos went around the room as Armin turned around to look at Erwin and see his choice, “Erwin?” Erwin looked around before raising Armin’s and Armin shot his shoe up in victory, wicked smile and snicker following. “Who is the most likely to get injured?” Erwin shot Armin’s up, “Who controls the remote?” Armin shot his own shoe up but Erwin shot his shoe up, “Uh oh, that’s going to be a problem. Who said I love you first?” Both paused before putting Armin’s shoe up, “Who says sorry first?” Armin put Erwin’s up, “Who is the most likely to wake up grumpy?” Erwin shot Armin’s up and laughed as Armin pouted and held his own up. Eren was cackling as David and Levi turned it into a drinking game with shots. “Who is messier?” Armin put up Erwin’s. “Who has the smelliest feet?” Neither answered until Erwin turned slightly, “We…both have normal un-smelly feet.” Levi snorted, “Erwin’s are smelly.” The room was filled with laughter. 

Jean asked a few more until he came to the last one, “And who do you love the most in the world right now?” Armin and Erwin both held up the other’s respective shoe as the room awed. Amrin turned around kissing Erwin and they both moved for their first dance. They went cheesy with it and played Lana Del Rey’s “Young and Beautiful” since it was a Gasby wedding but they were pleasantly surprised when Jean, Mike, Connie, Eld, David, and Levi all moved and starting setting up a band formation. Erwin was amused and concerned, “Lee? What are you doing?” Levi rolled his eyes, “What does it look like?” Erwin stepped back, “I honestly don’t know.” Jean smiled ear to ear, “We’re a band. Levi is our singer. I am so excited.” 

Jean had managed to contact everyone before going to Levi. He thought that he could use David as leverage and that calmed him down a bit. He managed to catch Levi before he left for the gym. “Where are you going?” Levi looked at him, “The gym.” “Can I come?” Levi seemed surprised, “Of course.” They rode over to gym but Jean was too nervous to ask. They ran seperatly and then they were in the ring sparring to finish off the day. Jean wasn’t near as good as Mikasa and David when it came to a rambunctious Levi. He was intense that day, powerful, wild, and he seemed really distracted. Jean’s body was taking a beating that it hadn’t prepared for.

He threw Jean down one last time and stood up, “I have to get water.” Levi turned to leave. “Wait!” Jean sat up, “I need to ask you something.” Levi gave him an exasperated look, “What?!” He barked and Jean knew he was really upset because for the most part, Levi’s voice stayed consistent. “Will you be in a band with me?” Levi paused and then he huffed exasperatedly, “Huh?” He waved, “Come on. I need water and to take a shit.” Jean felt that didn’t go so well and he followed dejectedly.

When they got in the car Jean twiddled his thumbs as Levi took a longer way home, “I want to show you something.” Jean nodded and looked out the window, “Will you consider it?” Levi kept his eyes on the road, “I am.” Jean turned to face him, head whipping, “REALLY?” Levi’s eyes narrowed, blue eyes so striking in the sunlight, he put his sunglasses on, “What do you think of this?” He pulled up to a building really close to their house on their side of town, “It’s a house, a farm house. I like it a lot actually.” Levi nodded, “You think that could be a vet office?” Jean smirked, “For Jaeger? Yeah, that’s just his style. He’d want it homey and he’d want it near the house to be near you.” 

Levi looked at the steering wheel as the continued on to the house only about three or four minutes away. “If I join your band, what would my role be?” “Singer, I need a singer and I need someone who can write lyrics or at least bring covers to life.” “If I wanted to do Hebrew or Yiddish songs?” “Do’em.” “Really?” “Yeah, this is a hobby and if we get good enough to play a few places then so be it. I just want it to be fun and rewarding. Eld said he needed something for therapy, Mike wants to relax, connie needs a stress reliever and wants to beat some sticks together loudly, I need this to feel happy and not make Marco feel like I’m sad or upset with him and our relationship, David said he wanted something to do to connect with people more since he’s wanting to live here full time, and you might like it because you’ve got a gift or maybe you just want to shoot the shit with us all.” Levi pulled up to the house parking the car and turning it off, “I’ll give it a shot. I don’t have to work Jean, but I’ve started wondering about if I should actually…take over the hospital for Dr. Jaeger.” 

Levi was visibly uncomfortable and it made Jean sad. He reached over and hugged a very awkward Levi. Levi eventually embraced him before whispering, “I don’t know if that’s what I want.” Jean looked past him releasing him and sitting back, “Sounds like you don’t want that.” Levi wiped his face, “But, I think…” Jean cut him off, “You know what, I know what you need.” Levi waited, “You need Eren living his life the way he wanted, working with animals, able to take off time, and you need to be at home with a baby or three. At least for a few years. You need to rest and nest and that’s fine. You’ve earned it. Don’t feel bad. He will just have to hire another manager for a contracted time, maybe five years or ten. Maybe less. Grisha will understand and if he doesn’t then fuck him because you don’t need that you need what’s good for you and your husband.” Levi nodded sadly before gripping Jean’s hand, “Thank you. Jean. You are a great friend.” Jean had been really touched, honestly.

Now they were here playing Armin’s wedding after two weeks of practice and fun that they’d done at Mike’s house under the guise of guy’s time. Levi wasn’t someone who loved the lime light but he was a good performer. His voice was unique and very enjoyable. Armin and Erwin were delighted and danced with others to the interesting Israeli beats. They’d always loved the way he sang and this made them extremely delighted.

_[Lechah dodi,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0W17L0lxOw&nohtml5=False) likrat kalah penei shabat nekabelah_

_Shamor vezachor bedibur echad hishmi'anu el hameyuchad hashem echad ush'mo echad leshem uletif'eret velitehilah Lechah dodi..._

_Likrat shabat lechu venelchah ki hi mekor hab'rachah merosh mikedem nesuchah sof ma'aseh bamach'shavah techilah Lechah dodi..._

_Mik'dash melech ir meluchah kumi tze'i mitoch hahafechah rav lach shevet be'emek habacha ve'hu yachamol alaich chem'lah Lechah dodi..._

_Hitna'ari me'afar kumi lib'shi big'dei tif'artech ami al yad ben Yishai beit halach'mi kar'vah el nafshi ge'alah Lechah dodi..._

_Hitoreri, hitoreri, ki ba orech, kumi uri, uri, uri, shir daberi, kevod hashem alaich nig'lah. Lecha dodi..._

_Lo tevoshi ve'lo tikal'mi mah tishtochachi umah tehemi, bach yechesu ani'ei ami, venivnetah ir al tilah._

_Lecha dodi... Vehayu lim'shisah shosaich, verachaku kol miv'laich, yasis alaich Elohaich, kimesos chatan al kalah._

__

Lecha dodi...

_Yamin usmol tif'rotzi, ve'et hashem ta'aritzi, al yad ish bein partzi, venis'mechah venagilah. Lecha dodi..._

_Boi beshalom ateret ba'alah, gam besimchah uvetzahalah toch emunei am segulah, boi kalah, boi, kalah; toch emunei am segulah, boi kalah, shabat malkah. Lecha dodi..._

Lecha Dodi was one of Armin's favorite songs and he was in love with the way Levi sang. The vibe wasn't Gatsby but he thought it fit so well it made it all better. He leaned against Erwin's chest, smiling softly. They danced and danced until their feet became tired and the champagne made their heads spin. When they stepped to the side to recover and receive guests, they were finally met with an old but welcome face. Reiner Braun had a card that he soon handed them, "My date is coming over." He looked so handsome and Erwin felt bad for having shot him in the face in the last life. He smiled ear to ear as Krista stepped up beside him surprising both Erwin and Armin, "Hey Armin! Sorry, Bertolt was going to come too but he ended up not coming because he has to have knee surgery. Also, you know, Annie’s in a rehab and he likes to be near her when she needs him. So,” She smiled brightly, “here I am with this big guy having the time of my life at y’all’s wedding. Makes me think about my future one.” She patted Reiner’s arm and gave him such a sickening look of puppy love Erwin and Armin both wanted to retch and why was Reiner blushing like that? Had he forgotten he was gay? Like, he was gay gay and gay for Bertolt so what was going on with this Krista stuff? Armin would have rather him brought a opossum with him than this art fraud. Armin still held such a grudge. She wiped her hair from her face and Armin’s eyes widened.

It was something that he was thankful for as they both walked away, a small wedding gift she never intended to give him, and Erwin swept him into his arms again. They were kissing senselessly as he walked them over to a long table where they would play flip cup with their guests. Most were popping champagne bottles and dancing, over all debauchery reigned just as Armin had wanted. David and Zadkiel were dancing some traditional Russian dance as Mikasa and Sasha took photos in the photo booth with large sunglasses and mustaches. Mikasa beamed as Eren coated her in confetti with Levi giving an amused look as he and David watched. Soon he turned to see Levi smirking at him, it made his heart miss a beat, as he tapped his pocket. Erwin and Armin walked over and then they went into the bathroom where David and Eren soon followed. 

David took his line like a champ and left carrying a now even higher Eren out piggyback style into the crowd. Armin did his, stepping back to blink with Levi in his vision. He smirked again and Armin felt they were definitely overdue for another night just the two of them. He would have to remember that when his honeymoon ended. Erwin finished his lines, head bobbing up quickly. He kissed Levi roughly, passionately, before taking hold of a envious Armin and sweeping them back in to the party like Gatsby himself. David and Mikasa danced on tables, they were lifted and the horah was danced as Armin laughed at Erwin’s seemingly ridiculous inability to keep hold of the handkerchief between then, they ate, lit sparklers, played drinking games, and then before the sun rose with only the wedding party left and Zad they jumped into the pool leaving their clothes to the side carefree and swimming like nude fairies. Mila slept sweetly unbeknownst in her pack and play next to Zadkiel’s feet while he smiled at the shenanigans of the group and the dark headed princess beside him.

When Armin and Erwin were at the car they turned around to kiss and hug everyone but especially Levi and Eren who both clung to them. They crawled into their car, exhausted and now on the way to the airport. Armin put his head on Erwin’s shoulder, “Where do we consummate the marriage?” Erwin chuckled, “Not in the back of this car.” Armin pouted, “Awww cruel.” He moved closer, “I love you, Erwin.” Erwin smiled so sweetly, “I love you, Armin, my prince.” He kissed Erwin’s lips before settling in against him more and catching a small nap till they arrived.

**************

Armin and Erwin had stepped into the bathroom to change before boarding their plane. Erwin should have known better than to agree to share a bathroom stall with Armin the nymphomaniac. He wasn’t complaining that much after their quickie and the sight of [Armin’s](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/b4/1f/41/b41f4146de8930824ee8e5f74fc17fb9.jpg) cute little plane sleeper outfit. He dressed in work out gear to sleep in and so he was always ready to take care of Armin’s needs. They slept more on the plane but the flight wasn’t long.

Now they were lying in bed after Erwin carried a sleepy Armin up to their [room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/06/47/49/0647491e8339965b21c977a21b0c8f3c.jpg) in the [hotel](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/2b/f9/fc/2bf9fc812a81610e6f66d06e5e6f3ccc.jpg). Erwin had hummed, walking around with Armin, happily feeling him in his arms. The [pool](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/8e/94/cb/8e94cb8f9ee680023f5c13ea6c82f04a.jpg) was pink and decadent and their view striking. He knew that this place had screamed Armin when he was looking at it and it was next door to the hotel Armin stayed with the Jaegers at which was now being torn down to make way for another. Armin moved in his arms, mumbling into his shoulder, “Let’s go to bed so we can wake back up, married, and start the rest of forever, okay?” Erwin couldn’t disagree with that sound logic, “Of course.” Now Erwin was rolling over to pull gently at Armin’s clothes to rouse him more from sleep.

“Was it everything you ever wanted?” Erwin whispered as Armin grinned cheekily, covering his face as he yawned, “Yes, it was better I could have imagined. It was great.” Erwin smiled taking his hand and kissing the ring and band, “You’re mine. I’m yours.” Armin looked at him fondly, “Erwin?” He looked at him, “Yes?” “I…” he didn’t want to ruin it with what he had noticed, “love you.” Erwin chuckled, “Good otherwise this marriage would get awkward real quick.” Armin allowed himself to be drawn into his arms for kisses and he was momentarily unconcerned with the ring on Krista Lenz’s finger.


	89. Honey Moon Prt 1: Iron Teeth

“What are you doing?” Armin said playfully to Erwin whose hand was on his lower back. Armin was sitting on the towel by the umbrella while Erwin laid on the other towel next to him, one leg out, ankle under the other straight leg’s knee, free arm behind the head, “Touching you.” He said playfully, lowly. Armin grinned, “Why?” Erwin smiled mischievously, “Because I want to.” Armin turned back around looking at the water, his favorite thing that Erwin hadn’t been able to keep him out of, “Wanna go swim?” Erwin let his finger tips go inside of Armin’s swim trunks, slightly rubbing against the skin, “Yeah, baby.” 

**************

“Baby, you look so cute.” [Armin](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/af/b3/b1/afb3b1b9c09301c18238cb7445a0191b.jpg) did a little twirl, “I try. I don’t want you to lose interest now that we’re locked in.” [Erwin](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ee/14/88/ee148843ad5380f4911b60175b30be8c.jpg) lifted the glass of scotch to his lips. Before taking a sip, he lowered it, “You could never lose my interest.” He winked and Armin rolled his eyes heading to the door, “Let’s go, daddy.”

They rented an old Bellaire, powder blue, and they went to a trendy dive bar where Armin wore a paper stewardess hat while they played trivia and ate appetizers. “Rome, the answer is Rome, Erwin.” Erwin smiled ticking the box, “I know.” Armin cut his eyes over, “You did not.” “Did so.” He stuck his tongue out at him, “Who was this?” Erwin smirked wickedly, “come on, baby.” Armin’s eyebrows furrowed, “Queen…Bloody Mary.” “Correct.” “She was weird.” “How so?” Armin sat back, eyebrows raised and eyes wide in disbelief, “Don’t ask me that like one of your World History students.” Erwin snickered, “Oh hush, I’ll bend you over the desk like one.” Armin crossed his arms.

“She’s weird because she wasn’t really pregnant, remember? She just kept getting bigger and bigger and every time they thought she would deliver she would go past the date and she was _pregnant_ for what, like 24 or 25 months?” Erwin drank his beer, “It was a tumor and yeah, I think it was about that long.” Armin leaned his head against Erwin, “And this one?” He pointed down at the last question, _“On March 12th, what will the Smiths be brining home?”_ , “Erwin’s eyebrow raised, “You wrote this in? What?!” Armin smiled coyly, looking up through his lashes, he added softly, “It could happen then or a few days around it.” “March 12th?” “Possibly. It’s looking good.” Erwin was stunned into silence as Armin reached over, “Can I eat some of your fries, daddy?” 

Erwin moved the fries over in a daze, “Armin…when did…” “I made the call in July when we were in Ukraine. It could be earlier like late February.” Erwin still wasn’t moving, “And…is there more because Armin you always just blow shit out of the water.” “Well, I made the choice for them too. Eren should have been told today as well. It’ll be around the same time too.” “But Mikasa is on the 5th of February!” Armin kept eating fries, shrugging, “Well, _it’s all happening._ ” 

Erwin was still stunned. Armin giggled, “Are you okay or did you shut down?” Erwin’s mouth fell open, “I shut down because this is such a strange way to tell someone that they’re having a baby, Armin but at the same time it’s so us because it’s a trivia game question and you know when we play trivia we play to win and right at this moment we are winning at life.” Armin smiled brightly, “Are you mad?” “A little but I shouldn’t be.” “Why?” “Because this is how most people find out they’re having a baby: unplanned.” Armin pouted, “I planned this.” Erwin rolled his eyes, arm coming to wrap around Armin’s petite shoulders, “Yes, you trapped me like a woman poking holes in a condom. But, I really wanted to be trapped so there is no foul.” He chuckled loudly taking Armin and kissing him as they sat in the red leather booth before the games began.

******************

Armin was sunburnt and he was angry. He walked into the room, letting his bag fall on the floor and pouted. Erwin walked behind him, voice playfully chiding, “Armin, that will get sand in the carpet.” He turned around glaring, “Okay Levi.” Erwin smirked, “Ouch. Are you angry baby?” Armin pouted, “Told you to wake me up or put more sunscreen on me.” “Baby, you were sleeping so cutely I didn’t dare.” “I’m gunna take a shower meanie head.” Erwin followed him into their bathroom and into the shower.

Armin wasn’t having any of his advancements and Erwin knew that a pouty Armin meant a hard life. He also knew a thoroughly fucked Armin was the best Armin. He had been working on having the building renovated for when they came back home so that Armin could start moving pieces in and running it. He’d agreed to run the business and Erwin was excited about it all. It felt like things were coming along perfectly and it really needed to because now he was going to be a father. A father, a real father with a child biologically the product of he and Armin. He wondered if the others knew yet. It was killing him and Mikasa’s ultrasound had been added to instagram lately and he was interested in seeing what theirs looked like.

When they were done Armin said he wanted to just rub Aloe Vera on and take a nap. Erwin smirked inwardly, _ah ha, here’s my chance._ “Let me rub it on you, baby. I’m so sorry that you got burnt.” Armin gave him a cautious look, eyes narrowed, “Okay.” He handed the bottle to him and Erwin took off Armin’s towel letting it fall with a heavy thud. Armin’s eyebrows raised, “Don’t even think about it, Erwin Smith. Nothin’ funny, you got it.” He warned, waving his finger at him, as Erwin smiled and moved forward to push Armin on the bed on his back. 

He put a sizeable amount of lotion in his palm, warming it up while Armin sat back up on the edge of the bed. He didn’t want to . He reached out, massaging the lotion into his arms and chest while Armin did his best to not grin at the obvious attempt at being sensual. “Erwin, I know all about you.” Erwin leaned down capturing his lips, “Okay, so my sensual kind lover routine isn’t working with you. How about I change it up?” Armin pulled back a bit, “What?” Erwin sat down on the edge of the bed quickly, pulling Armin over and across his lap, he worked the lotion into his pink back roughly but not unkindly. Armin gasped as he kept him pinned down, hands moving lower and lower as he added more lotion.

His hand cupped the curve of his cheeks, delicately brushed up and down the cleft teasingly; he gripped the flesh before administering a few tentative spanks that Armin enjoyed. His hands roamed between his thighs, lotion smooth and silky between pieces of nubile skin. Armin hissed as he was man handled in the sweetest ways. Erwin’s towel did little to hide his growing arousal that Armin anxiously awaited. They normally couldn’t keep their hands off each other and didn’t but it wasn’t like everything had become routine or boring for them. Armin never tired of Erwin’s dominance or the rarer times where he was shy and sincere.

“Baby, how do you want it?” His voice was rough, he enjoyed dominating Armin, “Do you want it rougher or softer?” Good question, he almost always asked because sometimes he was surprised by the answer. Armin thought quickly. They’d made their passionate honeymoon love, their soft tender promises love, their fun quickie love, now it was time for rough love, “I want it rough, daddy.” Erwin slapped his bottom before rubbing down, letting his fingers touch his entrance, dragging up and down slowly as Armin moaned slightly, relaxing across his knees.

Erwin’s finger slipped inside after a while, in and out, with force. Armin seized up slightly, mouth open in a silent gasp and staying open as his breathing continued to hitch while he tried to get used to it. Erwin chuckled, pulling him even closer while keeping him pinned down even more, every time Armin attempted to squirm out of his arms Erwin removed himself and re-established his power. Armin was writhing, moaning, whining, and begging by the time Erwin had three fingers in him.

Erwin inserted a fourth and Armin cried out. He wasn’t unhappy about it by any means, Erwin just seldom did it. He liked being stretched during sex, before sex, after it. He liked it in general. It was the kink that he was most embarrassed about though he’d never admit it. It seemed, however, Erwin knew him much better than he wanted to admit as he now finger fucked him into oblivion, bringing him to the edge where he let him dangle. “Don’t come, baby. Don’t come or you’ll not like the punishment.” Armin tried his best to not disobey as he bit his lips to hold back.

Erwin removed his fingers throwing Armin to the side on his stomach as he moved behind him. He pulled on his long lean legs, dragging him back towards him till his hips were on the edge, legs bent; he pushed them open further before pausing, erection at the entrance. Armin whined in anticipation as he roughly entered him, starting up a bone shaking pace that kept knocking Armin breathless, small mouth open as he squealed and moaned. Erwin’s hands pushed down on Armin’s shoulders, pushing him deeper into the bed while he destroyed him, “Baby, you’re so sweet when you moan like that.” He kept on, leaning down to lick a stripe up his back to his nape, tasting Armin, cool aloe and sweet sugar.

Armin’s face rubbed against the bed comforter, “I love how you fuck me, daddy.” Erwin groaned, he loved his little voice, “Fuck, baby, you’re so sweet and tight.” Armin lifted his feet, toes curled as Erwin pushed him further and further, “I want to come.” Erwin gave a short laugh, “No.” Armin whined as he carried on with his attack. Erwin pulled out picking Armin up and carrying him over to the chair in the room where he sat back and lowered Armin down on him, face red and panting as he started thrusting up into his lithe little body. Armin ground down on him, trying to drive him crazy like he was driving him but it seemed Erwin knew the ultimate control as he leaned forward kissing him.

Armin hands roamed his chest before resting on his shoulders as the coil tightened in his lower stomach more and more. Erwin’s hands gripped his hair, pulling his head back as he kissed and marked his neck. Armin was burning, “Erwin, please, please, please…” Erwin hummed, pleased at the begging tone, “You can come baby.” Armin’s body was so relieved that he almost couldn’t, almost. His body shook, toes curled, mind went blank, mouth open, and strangled sound ripping through his throat. Erwin watched pleased as Armin sagged and let go a litany of praise of Erwin’s abilities and cock glory. He was close, too but when Armin’s eye finally opened he looked slightly mischievous, _oh? Are you going to try and drive me wild now too my little prince? ___

Armin leaned forward whispering, “I don’t want you to come inside.” Erwin frowned slightly, _not cool, baby._ “I want,” he whispered though his breathing was still labored, “you to come in my mouth.” _Oh damn. You win. I want to do that._ Erwin smiled, “Really?” Armin smiled wickedly, “Yeah.” Erwin nodded yes as Armin scrambled off into the floor, mouth open and waiting as Erwin brought himself to completion. He didn’t know what he’d done to deserve someone like Armin, insatiable, free, smart, talented, wickedly sadistic and masochistic, and so much more. He was ideal, perfect for him and his needs. He lifted Armin up, took him to the bed and wiped themselves off. They would take a nap and then go to dinner. Armin curled around him, head under his chin, “Thanks daddy.” Erwin kissed his forehead, “You’re welcome.” Armin snorted, “You were right to think that fucking me would forgive you….this time…” Erwin burst into laughter, “Damn! My plans are so transparent!” Armin giggled, “Terribly so.”

****************

Erwin woke up, rolling off the bed onto the wooden floor. He shuffled outside of the cabin onto the porch where he looked around for Armin and Zadkiel. The sun was high and the creek had gotten higher from what he could see after some of the snow and ice melted. His shirt was open, boxers on, but it wasn’t cold, it was summer and there wasn’t really a chill even in the air. He thought all was well until he noticed there was no sound.

No birds chirping, no water bubbling, nothing. He started to panic listening for anything, listening for Armin. He walked off the porch, looking around at the trees and the house when he heard something, something loud. He heard water pails dropping to the ground and when he turned, “Armin!?” he was shocked to see her standing before him just as flabbergasted as he. 

She straightened herself as the water continued to run on the ground turning the dirt dark and muddy, her voice was hard, “What are you doing here?” He was stunned into silence, “You’re not supposed to be here.” She looked angry, so mad she trembled, “Come on! TELL ME WHY YOU’RE HERE!” She yelled and it felt like the world was shaking, the sky darkened, the trees moaned as the wind picked up, “Did you die?” She moved forward cautiously, mournfully, “He didn’t say you died, Erwin.” 

Erwin finally found the words to speak, "Did I? No....no I didn't die. Who said..." She covered her mouth, overcome with relief. She wiped her face removing the thick tears, "HaShem, thank HaShem you live." Erwin was overcome and confused, "Who tells you things?" 

She composed herself, "Zadkiel.” She whispered, throat raw, “He says things to me." Erwin paused looking at her and all of her beautiful features, "Where's dad?" She looked sad but stoic, "He left, gindele, passed on to another place. He was happy here for a long time but he wanted to go on and go." He didn't know what to say. He'd wanted to see him. "Why are you here still? Why didn't you go with him?" She looked at the cabin, blue eyes wet, "Because I'm waiting." "On?" "Zadkiel. I can't just go on when he'll need someone to tell him what's going on when he gets here. Also, he talks to me. I don't want to go away and leave him talking with no one to listen. You talked to me....when you were younger." He had and then he stopped. He felt shameful. She shook her head, "No, don't you get like that. I wouldn't have kept talking either. I didn't know the things that I do now." She looked over at the forest, small fox mother appeared.

He was surprised, "What's with that? Why is there a fox here?" She gave him a look he'd seen before but on someone else, it was amused and somewhat coy, "Foxes live in the forest, Erwin. They're also symbolic. Do you know someone who dreams of foxes? I think you do. They started popping up here, round the time you came back to Maria." Erwin cringed, "You see me?" She shook head, "Not enough, no."

"I don't understand. I....Armin sees them in his dreams." She raised an eyebrow, "Armin who?" "Armin Arlert." She looked burned as she reared back, "OH! HaShem, you….Zadkiel…You married him?!" She seemed to suddenly be much more alert, "it's all coming back to me now. Sorry, things get slow here. But, you married Armin Arlert?" Erwin nodded, "Yes...is he here?" "No, gindele, only you. But he's.....well......You know about the Reiss family, right?" Erwin moved closer, "Yeah.” 

She wrung her hands, "Do you know what is so special about your father? About you?" Erwin wasn’t expecting the shift in topic, "What?" She pulled at her cuff, "The Smiths have angelic names, you've noticed I’m sure. Or they have really prestigious names. They used to be a royal family of sorts. Men and women loved them, they were good rulers. But they attracted unwanted attention from another powerful family, the Reiss family. I mean, you would have hated the Smiths too if you were not as likeable or rich because that really put a damper on your plans for making people follow you. The Reiss family has always tried to find a way to destroy them. Then things finally came to a head."

He was shocked, "But when did..." She shrugged "There was a war. The Smiths were good at bringing people together, Erwin. Pagans, Christians, Jews, Muslims, all of them loved their king. In the dark ages, we were put in walls that much you must know." Erwin nodded his head, “Yeah.” She smiled sadly, “The Smiths, the names have been varied in spellings as you can imagine though “works with metal” as the meaning has always stayed and your father had a real talent for metal work.” She waved her hand, mention of Gabriel made her smile sadly, “Anyway, The Smiths were in Eastern Europe at this time and the North where they managed pagan relations, Christian and Jewish relations, occasionally there were envoys to the Sasanian that were up and coming. The Reiss family was in Rome and they were behind pretty much everything political. They were two powers growing rapidly.”

“After an assassination of the current Smith queen and pillaging of their people’s lands they decided to take Reiss down. Shortly, after a conspiracy to destroy the Smiths was revealed and the pressure mounted. It was also rumored that the Reiss family had acquired a great and terrible power. You’re father’s great grandfather lead the assault after his wife was killed, he was fury from what we know. It’s called the Gothic war of 376-382 and it marked the turning point for Rome leading to its collapse. Over the years, more of the Smith kings and queens became leaders in major battles until Rome was in ashes fully. But, then…the horror of the Reiss family was finally unleashed. Their great power enveloped the world and ushered in darkness.”

She seemed to shake with the weight of the words, “Titans, great humanoid creatures appeared and started to wreck havoc in strategic locations. The Smith’s were unable to handle the mystery and solve it before the terror took hold. Walls were constructed by the Reiss family and as the last remnants of humanity clamored towards them in a last attempt to save themselves.” 

Erwin was captivated, “Then they started killing off the Smiths?” She shook her head, “No. Once inside, the Smiths were hunted down but only in strategic ways. They were needed to help secure civil complicity, they were leaders and they were loved. It was only because of fear that their followers had agreed to enter the walls. Hence, the large amount of minorities. The Ackermanns were the main Jewish family that represented the Jewish groups and they worked with the Smiths. They started the Scouting Legion and that’s something they gave their money to and support,” Erwin jumped, “We started it!? We started the legion and,” She nodded, “The Ackermanns knew that the Reiss family could make common bloodlines forget, that’s why they teamed up with them. They’re the protectors of the Smiths in that way because they help keep the memories alive. Erwin, your father had the teaching position because his father agreed to remove themselves from the Legion after the Ackermanns also agreed to keep the secrets of their family to themselves. You weren’t in those walls for 100 years, it was 400 and a lot happened. The first 3 they warred with the Reiss family behind the scenes and with the false royal family over control of the people. They wanted a cure for the titan problem. They wanted freedom and they were eventually liquidated in camps in the outer walls where horrid experiments were performed for…”

“Dr. Jaeger worked at those camps. That’s all I will say.” The information was all so shocking that the last part almost didn’t make a dent. He was trying to put things together, quickly. Erwin took her hands, they were warm, he was happy that they were warm, “Armin says it’s in the water, whatever the danger is now if in the water. He said that one night to me when he was drunk. Is that right? I didn’t want to believe it and Levi told me to leave it alone.” Her eyes narrowed, “Levi? Who is that?” Erwin seemed surprised, “Levi Ackermann.” “Oh… I’d forgotten about him. Son of Kuschel….Son of Saul….He’s important, Erwin. He remembers things and they can’t make him forget. No one really ever figured it out and I left all I had with Zadkiel but Levi…his mother had information…” “It’s in a vault and we have it now.” “Good, and you should keep him close.” 

“But, how did it all happen? How did we get out of the walls?” “From what I know, your father told you a little bit of information and he was killed. You rose through the ranks and Nile and other’s knew you were the Smith heir. You met Levi and a few others. You all started to uncover the Reiss family and their involvement in the Titans. You and your friends found the serum and Levi kept it with him. There was a struggle of some sort and…..someone did something and prevented the Reiss family from creating more titans and you all started killing off the ones that came towards the walls. You led a mass migration outside of the walls, like Moses himself.” She laughed, smiling, looking around at the cabin and creek, “You’re such a beautiful boy.”

“But, the key to wounding them like you have was that you prevented the line of ascension. This is why we’re cursed to keep repeating this cycle. You prevented the Reiss power from progressing the way it had been. I’m not sure how but that’s what’s so important for you to focus on now. We’ve all succeeded in making the blood weak and that’s what they’re trying to do now, they want to bring in the flock and make the blood strong again.” “How did we do it?” “Someone was injected into someone, they carry the missing links in their blood. Other people carry those links.” “What links?” “Genomes that would prevent members of the Reiss family from falling under their own spell, I think that they want to create a similar world again but not with Titians. Titians ultimately got too out of control.”

“What would they do?” “I think it’d be population reduction, maybe a virus, make people like titans and easy to control. I don’t know because all I could get from Kuschul,” “You knew Levi’s mother?!” “I found her clues. We’ve left things for one another. We’re normally never alive at the same time but we’ve been doing this lifetimes over so,” “So she thinks they’ll try to put the world back in to walls.” “Exactly, and they need all members of the Reiss family to do so because they have to get all of the people who may carry the genomes together and secure the line again.” She paused and added seriously, “Erwin, they will do this, by whatever means necessary.” “They want Armin, they want me.” She shrugged, lips pursed, “This Armin. Is he beautiful?” 

Erwin looked at her, “Very. Like you.” She smiled coyly, “Like me? You flatter your mother.” Erwin nodded and moved closer, “I’ve always wanted to meet you. You’re so beautiful. I don’t want to leave you.” She brought him to her, cradling him as he embraced her, he was huge and she was lithe and small, “I wish I could have been there, I never wanted to leave you or your father. I love you, Erwin Ziv Smith. I love you and there is not a prouder mother than me to be found. Promise you won’t give up. Promise me you’ll end this. Your father was so proud and we talked so much about it, my little gindele.” He wanted to weep, he missed his father and now he knew his mother would be ripped away from him at any second and that was crushing. The information was valuable and they continued to speak at length as the sun started to set and Marilyn’s arms went lax.

“Gindele, weep not. Live and live well and give me a happy ending by being happy. Armin will need your strength. Levi will need your help. Eren, he will need your protection. They will all need to work together to make it right. Everyone must do their part. Find out what the missing link is and finish it. You have to go now, Erwin.” Erwin fell to his knees sobbing into her dress, “No,” he wailed, “no, mama, please, I don’t want to go now.” She ran her fingers through his hair, “You gotta go. Be strong. Be strong.” He wailed like true mourner, “Mama, please…” She remained stoic and he couldn’t help but find her reaction somewhat humerous, “Mama, you look,” he was looking up at her face and it’s expression he knew so well, “like Armin, my God, Zad was right. How sick is that.” Her lip turned up slightly at the corner but she was breaking in half with anguish over letting him go, “Well, that makes sense.” He sniffled into her dress, nose snotty, eyes burning, “How so?” “He’s my cousin.” “What?” “I’m one of,” her voice went away suddenly and she looked to be in pain. He wept more, fearing the end, “Mama,” he wanted to make up for not talking to her for so long, “I’m going to be a father.” It hit her like a stone to her heart. She bent forward suddenly, silently sobbing. He continued, “I’m gunna be a daddy. You’re gunna have a grandchild. I love you. I love you, mama.” She fell down embracing him, “I love you too, Erwin. I have always loved you, even before you were even a thought.” She kissed him rocking him back and forth as the water ran silently in the stream and the world around them grew dark and cold.

**************

_“The men left the village for three days hunting. The women wore their scarves around their heads, pulling them tighter to keep the chill of winter out. Snow fell heavily around them as the fires burned inside the oak and rowan cabins. The doors were once marked with small iron fixtures on their posts. They’d removed them after the pogrom. Room was made for those considered worthy of living._

_The nights were long; the days belonged to the strong. On the first day, they sewed clothes for their men who would return. On the second day, they fed the wolves that ran with men. On the third day, they waited at the window looking out at the wide opening of the road but no man set foot across its snow covered threshold. The women knew that a trip like this was an easy one for their men and as the sun started to set, they gathered together, hushed whispers and prayer shawls. Then, as the bride of night cast her shadow over them they saw at the opening one, two, three, four, five, six, seven men, as they should have hours before._

_The women pulled their coats up, their shawls falling to the side, prayers on lips halted, their eyes wide and bright against the black night. The men approached and one woman spoke up, “Those are not our husbands.” The others merely crouched. “Of course they are our husbands,” one woman professed stepping forward as her husband approached. The others held their breath. “Woldeck,” She called out, somewhat hesitant but she wanted to calm the others, “why have you returned so late?” A woman in the center held up a candle, the light reflected in the women’s eyes but not in the man or men ahead._

_Eyes pitch black, skin paled and cold, clothes pristine, boots covered in foreign snow. The man, the nearest to the women, opened his mouth, lips stretching abnormally, tongue missing, black and endless was the opening, as a multitude of long thin grey spikes appeared and to the women’s horror continued to length and curled like ribbon ends. The woman who first spoke moved back, “Those are not our men.” The other men moved forward, mouths opening. She turned to flee. The other’s fled shortly after, too stunned at first to move. She heard some of them scream. The forest swallowed them all up. Its twists and turns made sneaky in the darkness. She found herself alone. The other women were gone or with their faux husband meeting whatever bitter and horrific end._

_As she approached the end of the forest she fell and rested on the ground, the ground beneath her where families lay, families who once lived in those houses. She looked up as a couple approached her, concern on their features, “This isn’t a place where one should rest. Why are you out?” She turned to them, “There were men who came to my village. They looked like our husbands but they were not.” The woman crouched in horrified fascination, “We’ve heard of such happening in this forest. What were they like?” She looked at the soil, dark and fresh, “Their teeth were made of long curled metal…iron. They were men with iron teeth.” The couple stood up and she had a thought, “Why are you out in the darkness of the forest?” They looked to one another, “We were saying Kaddish.”_

_She started, “For who?” They seemed amused, “For those people below you.” She stood up brushing the soil off, “Yids, why would you say anything for yids? Are you yids?” The woman snorted and huffed ironically.”So what if we are?” She didn’t want to be around yids, “How did you manage to make it out of the pogrom?” She was genuinely curious; those Jewish people were like rats. The man merely stared, his face unreadable, “I’d ask myself where those iron mezuzahs of these families went if I were you.” They turned, walking off into the forest disappearing leaving her alone in the moonlight_.

“The men with iron teeth.” 


	90. Honey Moon Prt 2: E S A T S M R E B E T R S I R E R A L

[Armin](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/ab/d4/b2/abd4b2472095feb9074f650c5f982ac6.jpg) had woken up, ordered room service, and was eating cheese and fruit with orange juice when he heard the first sounds of Erwin getting upset. He tried to know when to get involved and when not to but as Erwin became more and more emotional he put his food down walking over to look at his face. He was crying, sobbing really, into his pillow. It killed Armin and he couldn’t just sit back and let him go through that alone. He pulled the cover up and moved inside of the bed wrapping his arms around him protectively. He kissed his head, hummed Mi Scheberach because he thought it was not only soothing but would perhaps make it all a little less painful, and then he rubbed his back as he woke up, upset and childlike.

Erwin was so strong, even when he was upset but this was new. He was sad and it was a sadness that lingered in the bones, tainted the soul, crushed the flesh. Armin waited before he asked, “Was it about the past?” Erwin shook his head, sniffles coming fewer and fewer, “No, I saw my mama. I spoke with my mama.” Armin kissed his head again, it was crazy but their life was full of crazy truths, “Wow, Erwin…What was she like?” His eyes were closed; they hurt, “Like you, Armin. God, so much like you.” Armin laughed a little, “That’s really scary. How was it?” Erwin inhaled, “I liked it. We talked for a long, long time.” Armin rocked them, “Did she say things like how handsome and smart you are? I would have said those things.” He laughed quietly and Armin felt like he’d done something good, “She said you’re her cousin.”

Armin was a little shocked, “What?” “She said I knew how.” “Hmmm we are similar, I suppose.” “I think I know what she was talking about.” “What was it?” Erwin reached across Armin for the small pad and pen by the bed, “You told me in the letter in the past life, “You’d do well to remember what I told you.” So, I did. I wrote a letter to remind me,” he wrote down the letters “E S A T S M R E B E T R S I R E R A L,” “Arlert Reiss Are Same.” It was basically the clue that Zadkiel already confirmed since you are their cousin but Armin, my mother she’d she was “one of…” and I think she was telling me that she was a Reiss.” What if Arlerts are Reiss too, and that’s why they sometimes marry Reiss members? Maybe the name gives them a level of anonymity that is beneficial?” 

Armin’s eyes widened and Erwin spilled all of the information he had to him over the next hour as they laid in bed. When he was finished Armin moved uncomfortably, “I feel like…she might have been a close relative…. That’s kind of icky right?” Erwin shrugged, “I doubt she was a first cousin.” “Naw you’re right. Maybe third, fourth, or fifth? Better than my parents. Plus if she was one of those it makes you another one removed so even further from me. But still kind of icky. I think my parents were third cousins.” Erwin hadn’t told Armin about them and he didn’t want to. It was wrong but, maybe Levi would do it and take the brunt. He should have kept a better hold on his anger. “Where are they?” He looked at Erwin, “I need to know. I just keep…I just keep on thinking they’re going to show up and ruin everything. What if they hurt our child one day?” 

Erwin pulled him closer, “I know but…What if they were dead?” Armin bit his lip thinking, “I guess that would be best because then I’d know it was over. Really over. I think I could maybe heal.” Erwin gritted his teeth, “Armin?” “Yeah?” “They’re….they’re dead.” He shut his eyes, unable to see what his expression would be. He murdered his husband’s parents. How fucked up was their life. “Levi killed them, didn’t he? After the party…” Erwin opened his eyes. Armin was upset, a small amount of tears escaping. “You think Levi killed them?” Armin wiped his face, “Yeah.” “He wanted to but…I did it.” 

Armin stared intently at Erwin, eyes searching, “Why?” He whispered, “Why would you?” Erwin stroked his face, “Because they hurt you, Armin. They hurt you your entire life and they promised to hurt you again. I could never lose you again and I thought about what if they kidnapped you? What if they took you? And honestly, yeah, I had thought, what if we have children or adopt children then they’ll go after them too and it just made me so mad...so mad….” “You lost yourself. Became the Erwin of Badschi?” Erwin’s breath hitched, he hadn’t thought of that, “Yeah, baby. God, you’re so smart.” Armin tried to smile but it was a very sad smile, “Well, I’m sad…because they made me and there were good moments….few and far between…but they would have come back, Erwin. They would have taken me because that’s what they’d done in the past. I just wish that they had…had told maybe what they knew.” 

Erwin leaned forward, taking Armin into his arms and pulling them up with Armin in his lap, “We should ask your opa.” Armin laid his head against his chest, hand over Erwin’s heart, “We should. I bet he’d tell us something.” Erwin peppered Armin’s head with kisses, “Let’s take another shower and go out but only if you feel like it, baby.” Armin kissed his chest, “Okay. Take me somewhere fancy. I’m going repress and compartmentalize, which David would be so angry about.” Erwin chuckled, “I’ll treat you nice tonight.”

They went to a really nice restaurant, [Armin](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/b4/e4/59/b4e4590b5d1fa3e0073699f0610fa07e.jpg) dressed to kill and [Erwin](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/8e/cd/27/8ecd27425563e902e541e1489b9ff355.jpg) kept it chic. He loved Armin and his beautiful fashion and the overall way he carried himself. He was drinking mixed drinks with tiny umbrellas and talking about the shop and his ideas. They were here for one more full day and Erwin was sad to think about leaving.

Armin told story after story about what he had done with the Jaegers and his eyes lit up with each one. He talked about how one time they rode go karts and Armin’s car hit Eren’s so hard it bounced his off the track into the tires. Carla had screamed bloody murder and went out on the track, hair a mess, and Eren was just laughing stuck in the tires. Another time they sent Jean down to get ice and then they acted like they had been kidnapped, writing messages in ketchup on the mirror to look like blood. Jean nearly shat himself for real when Eren appeared from behind the water heater closet. Erwin loved listening to it all.

When they were walking on the pier Armin ate his ice cream, sprinkles colored the vanilla so sweetly. Erwin’s arm wrapped around his waist, “So, I take it Eren hasn’t told Levi?” Armin leaned against him, “Isn’t it like so weird and junk that we haven’t heard like anything from them? I mean, I know we’re good but like why have they gone MIA?” Erwin smirked, “I actually thought I was being punished.” Armin looked up and gave him a scrupulous look, “What? Explain.” “Well, Levi and I had had this talk when y’all went to bed the night before the wedding and I think he’s a little miffed at me.” 

Armin pulled them towards the car, “Exxxxplaaain!” He whined as Erwin sighed and shrugged, “It was a lot of things. We’re thinking about building a house that’s separate from ours. I suggested that we do it and offer it to Jean and Marco. He wanted to offer it to Mikasa. I, however, believe that she would rather live near but in her own separate space. We have a friend who is selling their loft in downtown, as in right over the drugstore.” Armin gasped as they parted to get in the car, “LIKE DOWNTOWN ON THE CORNER! OH MY GOD THAT’S THE BEST LOCATION EVER.” Erwin smiled, “Exactly. With Mikasa’s need to be close to school for her projects in her senior year she will appreciate the close proximity. Also, as a new family I thought they’d like their space and their own home. There’s more to it but basically Eren was on my side and when I told Levi that he got even more miffed because he felt like David would want to be close with us and he wanted them with us.” 

Armin pouted, “I get it. Levi is like me and he likes everyone being together in his sight. He would want his brother near him and you know how he likes babies. Also, if Eren was already on your side that would hurt him because it would hurt me if the tables were reversed so…I get it.” Erwin hummed as they pulled back up to the hotel, “Want to drink and make love on the balcony?” Armin snorted, “More like that’s your way of saying “I don’t want to talk about this anymore so let me distract you.”” Erwin grinned, “I want to eat strawberries, do coke off of your ass, drink champagne from your stomach, and fuck under the stars because it’s my honeymoon and you’re wearing that dress just right and not at all for the reason you gave.” Armin tilted his head to the side, “Well, then, I can’t argue with that.” 

******************

“What are you wearing?” [Erwin](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/94/d9/6e/94d96e0a1b58d7ed3086bfa7d92b3d3e.jpg) murmured into the towel as [Armin](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/12/bd/14/12bd14eae4135e157bdfd6c5946401e2.jpg) approached. He’d gone down early because Armin had gone full out last night and needed to rest that morning. Armin smiled coyly, “Swim Trunks.” Erwin smirked, “I like them.” “You should.” “When we have kids, will you make sure they look cute like you?” Armin giggled, “Uh, yeah.” “What are you reading?” “The Red Tent.” “A Jewish book?” “Yeah.” “I should read up, I guess.” “It’s neat. Amazon recommended it to me.” “Amazon?” “Yeah.” “You trust their suggestions?” Armin sat down in the chair under the umbrella since he was still pink, “Amazon knows me better than anyone. Amazon is my mistress, Erwin.” Erwin grinned rolling over, “That’s my relationship with Pandora.” Armin gasped, “REALLY ERWIN WHAT CENTURY ARE WE IN!?” Erwin opened his eyes, “Wha?” “Pandora?!” Armin drawled, “you still use Pandora? It’s Spotify or nothing.” Armin huffed crossing his arms. Erwin sat up, “Baby, what!? Pandora is amazing.” Armin snorted, “Pandora is for the weak. Learn how to make your own playlist or get better at deciding which ones to test. I cannot with you right now. You are such a smart man but you make such bad choices.”

Erwin moved towards him like a predator, “I chose you.” Armin opened his book, “You sometimes get it right but you and your Pandora. I bet you use the little app on your Iphone.” “You have an Iphone.” “I have two phones, Erwin.” “Oh, that’s right.” “Yep. I have an Iphone for doing dumb things and shooting the shit with Eren and you. Then I have an android for work, important things, pleasure, and Levi.” Erwin removed his book, Armin smelled like water babies sunscreen and minty tooth paste, “I’m a dumb thing?” Armin smirked, “Yeah.” Erwin kissed him, “That’s fine with me. Eren and I have way more fun than you and Levi so I don’t care.” Armin slapped his arm, “I love you, stupid face.” 

*************

“We need to make a nursery.” [Armin](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/62/05/76/6205766878084f35920518dc548debb9.jpg) gasped, “YES!” “What are we having?” “Um, we won’t know for a month or more I think.” “Really?” “Yeah.” “Do you….want to know?” “I don’t know.” “I want to know.” “You want a boy.” “I do.” “I want a girl.” “That’s fine with me too.” “Levi wants a girl.” “He always has.” “What if he doesn’t have a girl?” Erwin chewed the inside of his cheek while Armin sat across from him playing with the curly straw of his drink. Erwin finally spoke, “He’ll probably cry, Armin. He really wants a girl. You two really want daughters.” Armin sat back, “Well, we can keep having them till we get them.” Erwin smiled, “I wish you could get pregnant.” Armin’s eyes narrowed a bit before he spoke, “You know…I kind of do too.” 

***************

“What are you wearing?” [Armin](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/20/08/5c/20085ccf21ce0df356ddde598b1f1ca2.jpg) smiled crawling on the floor towards Erwin after they got back, “You are very concerned with my outfits today. I’m a kitty kat.” Erwin chuckled sitting down on the sofa as Armin crawled over, tight ass swaying back and forth tempting Erwin, “Oh, sorry, I’m such a fool. Do you need to be fed?” He slowly pulled down and opened the zipper on his pants. Armin sat back on his haunches, “Nope.” Erwin raised an eyebrow, “Then what do you need?” Armin leaned forward to lay his head on his thigh, his fingers gently stroked up and down over Erwin’s sex, “I need attention.” His voice cute and bangs in his eyes. Erwin’s voice was labored and low, “Have I neglected you?” Armin pressed his face to his inner thigh mumbling against it, “Nope, I just always need your attention.” Erwin’s hand went to run through Armin’s hair before Armin pulled out his erection and gave Erwin a mind blowing blow job. 

Armin stood up after tucking him back inside, “Let’s go out to a club.” Erwin leaned back, breathless and sated, “We have a flight in the morning.” Armin raised an eyebrow, “I don’t care.” Erwin couldn’t deny him after that, “Then let’s go.”

[Erwin](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/c7/da/db/c7dadbfe69211a13d45d70a69ece9b22.jpg) moved through the crowd as slow electronica played and the smoke and lasers filled the space with sensory explosions. [Armin’s](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/bc/0b/89/bc0b894ae899ab82b407d10c2cc16936.jpg) eyes locked on his. They were pretending to be strangers meeting for the first time and he loved it as Armin acted both disgusted and would be seducer. He loved him. He was having flashbacks lately, to Badschi. Had he really lived? Was this life or was it just a dream and in the morning he’d wake up to that bloody cell with Levi against his chest, breathing rhythmically. Would he wake up and know that he’d never been in love with the boy with the beautiful mind?

***************

At the airport [Armin](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/aa/ae/75/aaae759c533b961317dbe70d0d5372fe.jpg) leaned against his arm as they boarded. He was the walking dead right now as he lifted his blanket and purse higher on his shoulder while Erwin drank coffee. They were playing a new game, a name game. Armin’s high pitch trill, “Marilyn?” Erwin loved the name but he was unsure, “I don’t know if I want to name a child after her until everything is over? What if we only have boys?” Armin gave him an offended look, “So what? A name is a name. We can name a boy Marilyn.” Erwin grinned, “True.” The line moved and they were heading down the tunnel. Armin took his hand, ring catching the eyes of those around them, “I love you.” 

Erwin took his bag while he slid into the seat, “I like Carson.” “I fucking hate that name, please no.” Erwin wasn’t expecting such a reaction, “Why?” Armin huffed, arms crossed, “Carson motherfucking Cherry. Boy who sat in my history class in school and he was so pretty with his big lips and flippity dippty side swept hair but you know what mr-everyone-loves-me-im-secretly-using-you-armin-because-youre-a-nice-person is up to these days? Walmart night shift frozen foods and that’s because he’s had three DUIs and they were the only ones who took pity. I also would like to stick to old names, names of prestige, historical throwbacks, etc…” “I didn’t think you’d want historical names.” “[Erwin](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/6b/29/71/6b29718c487350dd9993b7a20e007fc9.jpg), how did we even get married? You act like I am a stranger. Here’s a name: Hannibal. OOOOR Constantine Suelyman.” Erwin laughed so loud the people around them jerked, “Um no, baby. But, I fucking love your spirit and I am so turned on by your random name combinations. My God, why did you put a Christian and Muslim together like that? This child will be Jewish ethnically on both sides!” Armin smirked, “What about Nosson or Nathan?” Erwin mulled it over, “Maybe. But, only if he’s wise.” Armin started a trill of laughter that made Erwin’s heart flutter and the woman behind them in first class to put her headphones in. _Bitch._ Armin thought as he played the movie _Flu_ on Netflix for Erwin to watch for the first time. He loved that movie. He couldn’t wait to get home and see their family.


	91. I see what you see

When they got home Erwin started unpacking their bags and tipped the driver. Armin waited to the side smiling as they rolled their luggage to the porch stairs and then started the climb. They were both so happy to see their loved ones that they almost couldn't stand it. Armin reached out to open the door but instead it pulled back quickly revealing a teary eyed Levi. He stood at the door for a second looking from one to the other. They held their breath. Levi embraced Armin, "You little devil." Armin smiled, "Are you...angry?" Levi's face was pressed inside of his neck, "You think you can make life choices like that for people? Who the fuck are you?" Armin hummed, "Yeah, I guess I overstepped but let’s be serious, Eren was too scared to push it and you were too scared to actually do it. I needed to push it or you'd be childless with all of us running around with them and that was too much to bear."

Inside Eren was waiting with Jean and Marco who were eating and talking. Jean put his bag of jerky under a napkin when Levi appeared, "Sorry," was all he said as Levi walked in and gave the most disgusted look. "Mario, two tone treif pig, we have news." Marco's eyes lit up, "Should we wait for Armin's grandpa and Zadkiel?" Levi paused, "Sure. Eren go get them, please." Jean pursed his lips, “Is this why you two have been insane this week? I thought you were just missing Erwin and Eren but you have been insufferable. Sex everywhere and then crying all over.” Levi nodded, “This will explain it and sex everywhere and crying all over was pretty common place with us before hand.” He slapped Eren’s ass as he went upstairs to track the two men down.

When Zadkiel and Atticus emerged they all sat at the table in kitchen and waited for the news. Zadkiel was drinking coffee, black, and was looking more like a human than ever before. He looked at Armin, “You look gay.” Jean and Marco merely stared, they didn’t really get Zad yet. Armin turned his nose up, “You look like the part in _Pretty Woman_ when she finally gets some real clothes and stops looking so prostituty.” Eren cleared his throat and started before they could get into a fight, "You all know Yvonne and Oulu just had their baby using the womb. Well, they won't be the last. We're all now expecting children, me and Levi and Armin and Erwin." Everyone was so shocked that their mouths kind of just fell open as they looked around like, "Can you believe it oh my god."

Jean slammed his hand down on the counter, “ARE YOU SERIOUS!!??” Marco looked over, ready to stop whatever was going to come out of his mouth, “I MEAN, I’M HAPPY BUT MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING?! WHY ARE YOU ADULTING!? WE ARE IN SCHOOL AND NOT REQUIRED TO ADULT AND THIS IS SO ADULT MY GOD!” Jean stood up walking over to hug Eren, sincerely saying, “I’m so happy for you man.” He released him and walked over to Armin but he didn’t hug him, he just stared for a few seconds before getting choked up. He took his hand and placed his on top giving it a few pats before turning, “I’m so happy for you all but I need to go upstairs. I forgot something.” He nearly ran up the stairs.

Armin was hurt but he tried to be respectful. Jean and he were close and not telling him something like this beforehand was a rookie mistake. Jean didn’t always take things the best way when you first told him, this was not indication of how he would ultimately feel about the situating, though; that much could be said after he said loudly that he was happy but overall Jean was probably feeling a lot of pressure right now. Armin looked around at Marco who merely pouted, “I think that maybe you should go first, Armin.” Armin nodded, “Yeah.” 

Armin went upstairs as the others talked excitedly, “Two babies in this house full of people?” Zadkiel looked around, “It’ll be like sister wives.” Erwin smirked, “Exactly. I’ll be drinking scotch and reading while Levi and Armin take care of the childrens and Eren goes to work. Perfect.” Erwin looked to Eren who’s eye lit up playfully, “I can get down with that. I’ll get Levi a little apron.” Erwin whistled, “Better get my baby one too.” Zad snorted, “You’re gunna have to stop the baby talk when you have a real baby. That will get confusing. Also, what is it even going to call you? Daddy? Won’t that get a bit dirty?” He smirked drinking his coffee, his voice playful as Erwin chuckled. Levi merely stared, he wasn’t so sure about Zad yet.

When Armin found Jean he was in his room under the covers, “Why are you under there?” Armin sat on the side of the bed, pulling the sheet back, “Come on, Jean. Talk to me.” Jean opened his eyes, “I’m scared and I don’t want to grow up.” Armin smiled a little, “I don’t want to either but we must.” Jean opened his arms, “Come in here with me, Arm.” Armin got inside of the covers as Jean started building a fort of pillows around them. He faced Armin, “I have people….that call me Armin.” Armin’s eye brows were knitted together, ‘People? Who?” Jean’s eyes widened, “People who like have money and want to commission me. They say that they saw me in the book, in the museum, online, etc… and they want to give me money for me work.” Armin understood what he was trying to say, “So, because they are paying you, you feel the pressure to deliver on time and ON THAT level. You fear your art won’t be good enough.” 

Jean nodded his head, “Yeah and then Marco wants to do another book and I love doing it but I hate knowing if my art is bad it will ruin his book. Also, I’m living here and when I try to pay rent Levi slaps the money from my hands.” Armin snorted, “Oh come on he’s just,” “No, Amrin! He has literally slapped money out of my hands. I had money wired into his account and he took the money out, all in crisp new one Dollar bills, came into my studio and put them in my hands only to slap them out. Erwin was standing in the doorway, professional face on, and he lectured me on having money transferred into accounts and the dangers of doing so and I didn’t get it but Erwin was so pleased with Levi’s display I let it go.” Armin laughed, “Oh my God, he’s so dramatic.”

“But then there’s Eren and he’s so sure of what he’s doing and where he’s going and he and Levi are like this whirlwind because they just met, clicked, went together seamlessly. He married Levi with only about one minute’s notice. Just like that. He converted, changed his….no…it’s not really changed his life but he got focused. He actually started to chill the fuck out. Jaeger…chilling out. Our childhood was a constant slur of “what is it Eren?” and “SHUT UP EREN.” And now he’s baking in the kitchen, taking the time to do it kosher, humming little songs, playing with Isi and Donner and Commander and remaining patient when things happen. All the shit that has happened and if you think about it, he hasn’t flipped out really at all. He lets Levi lead him and take charge. He defaults to him and he’s so happy about it.”

Armin had noticed the things Jean talked about, “And me? Aren’t you going to tear into me?” Jean sighed, “You know how deep my love for you runs. You know about the things that happened when I thought you’d died. You and Erwin were the same way as Eren and Levi except that…I had selfishly thought that you and I might actually date while we were freshmen.” He closed his eyes expecting the worse. Armin was really shocked, “What?” He said lamely, stunned. Jean scrunched his face up, words tumbling out in a rush, “I know it’s so stupid. But, before Marco I had been nursing a severe crush on you again and I was really miffed when you and Erwin first got together. But, then you two just hit it off and he wooed you and delighted you and you just came out of your shell like never before. You’re so liberated now, Armin. You have no idea how far you’ve come from the timid, self-loathing, insecure nerd. You and Eren were always in this unhealthy relationship,” Armin jerked, offended, “Hey..” “and you two were making it work but then you met fucking Mr. Wonderful and he met Mr. Bond and they just made it work. They made your dysfunction,” “You were in this dysfunction.” “work and it was like a blow to me because I thought that I was maybe what made it work.”

Armin frowned, “Oh…Jean. I understand and you do sort of make it all work. Without you we would be incomplete.” “And now look at you. You don’t need me, you’re married, having a baby and I’m over here becoming an adult by force and I’m not sure I’m ready…” Armin shrugged, “But, you are Jean. Well, as ready as we are. Are you just afraid that Marco won’t want to be with you? Are you…yeah, I know what’s going on. You’re scared you’re not a leader, a husband, a father. You think you’re not someone people can lean on and look to for strength. That’s the shit you’ve been dealing with forever. You know it’s not true. Look at our past lives, you always rose to the occasion. I can’t tell you what to do but if you want to start making things official and planning for a family then explore that with Marco. Don’t deny yourself because you think you’re not ever going to be that kind of person. It’s also okay, Jean, to not have kids and not get married. It’s just that society has made us think that you have to do those things and that’s not so.” 

Jean rolled over to face him, “I want to be married with a house full of kids.” Armin smirked, “With Marco bent over a pot of stew as they run around?” Jean smiled fully, “Exactly…Armin, thank you. I’m just scared. You’re my rock. Eren thinks it’s weak but he’s just as bad off. I feel like you’re leaving me behind. Like you never needed me. I know that’s wrong…it’s just fear.” Armin wanted to cry and rolled towards him embracing him, “Jean, you’re such an ass for making me so sad. We’re fine. We’re best friends for life. I wub yew bunchies!” He rubbed his nose against his cheek before kissing it.

When they removed the covers Marco was standing at the foot of the bed twiddling his thumbs. He looked like he’d been caught red handed and a little shameful, “Jean, I’m sorry for eavesdropping…but I was curious.” Armin smiled, “He’s not seduced, don’t worry. At least we don’t have to repeat anything.” Armin rolled out of the bed prancing out. Marco sat down, “He’s right. It’s ridiculous you think you’re not good enough. You’ve led military brigades, ran hospitals, ran factories, you’ve helped people live Jean and you support me every day and you have no idea just how great you are. You paint scenes of love, scenes of serenity, scenes of life. I love to watch you see the world because you inspire me. You make sure to tell me every day that you love me. Do you know how much that means to me? You tell me every day, even when we’re not getting along, that you love me.” Jean gave him an amused look, “Just cause we fight doesn’t mean I don’t love you.” 

“We don’t even really fight. You and I, we’re great Jean. We get it and we get each other. Sometimes you need Jean time and I need Marco time. I go to the studio and write. You go and paint. We sit in silence and recharge. So what if all of our friends are moving quickly?” Jean frowned, “Doesn’t it seem like it’s too quick?” Marco paused before shaking his head, “Nope, honestly no. Because we already know it’s meant to be. I know if you asked I’d marry you today because it wouldn’t change anything really except make it better. You’ve got to look at it like this: taking time to get to know someone, move in together, live together, get engaged, make a commitment in a ceremony, have kids, all of it is something that people _should_ take time to do. Because, you need to live with that person and see them in all their stages to know if it’s going to work out. You can’t run and leap and think it’s got a shot in hell because it does but it’s so slim you might not win. You and me, we’ve been through it all and we’re better off than before. We’ve already put in the time. Lifetimes have gone by. I think that’s what’s wrong, you’re still looking at it as Jean the 21 year old painter. You think that you’re so young and dumb and that’s true….if you hadn’t suffered immensely lifetimes over. I can’t tell you what to feel, Jean. I can’t tell you how to feel but just know that this isn’t a normal situation and were all making up for lost time. This life is different. I can feel it in my bones. It’s different, it’s better. I’m settling and nesting. I’m ready for the long haul with or without a ring, with kids or without. I’m staying in Maria for school, running the newspaper and website with Yvonne, and I’m so happy about everything that nothing is going to ruin my mood, not even my brooding artistic Hozier wanna-be lover. I love you, Jean. It’s all fine.” 

Marco smiled so sweetly, so brightly, it stunned Jean as he laid on the bed, “Please come over here and kiss me, Marco. Kiss me and love my stupid ass.” Marco crawled over to him smirking, “You need to apologize to people.” Jean nodded rolling his eyes, “I know, I know. You always remind me.” Marco tisked, “You tend to forget. Saying sorry isn’t your thing.” Jean pulled him down, wrapping him in his arms as he pulled the blanket back up, “Play twenty questions with me in my fort.” Jean said in a playful tone as Marco giggled, “Dork. Okay.”

****************

Armin wandered down the hall as he heard his grandpa’s voice and Erwin’s. He entered Erwin’s personal study, eyes wide as Atticus was wiping his eyes, bent over the desk with Erwin on the other side. It was a strange feeling in the room, heavy, “Well, I…can’t tell you much but how do you know they are dead?” Erwin stood straighter, “We had it confirmed by a source that watches us. They said they were dead and we accept that as truth. There is no reason for them to lie and I was shown evidence of the bodies. I am sorry for the loss of your daughter.” Atticus was offered a chair by Erwin and he took it, “Thank you. I hope Armin is well.” Armin entered the room, “I’m doing fine, grandpa.” Erwin shifted, “How was it? Starting your family?” Atticus started, “Well, my wife and I always wanted a peaceful life.” Erwin nodded sitting down and opening a bottle of scotch.

Armin came closer to sit on the arm of Erwin’s chair. He pulled him down into his lap and offered him his glass which Armin took a sip of before handing it back, “Were you related to your wife?” Atticus paused, “Distant cousins. Nothing too bad. Why do you ask like that?” Armin pressed on Erwin’s lead, “How distant?” He seemed surprised that Armin was asking, “17th cousin. Annabell Arlert was a spit fire. You would have liked her and I wished that she was here every day.” Armin chewed his lip, “And did you? Did you live a peaceful life?” Atticus shook his head, “No. I have never known peace.” Armin paused, thinking; he’d never asked him questions like this, “Why not?” Atticus shook his head, “Stories, old stories. You wouldn’t be interested.” Armin’s eyes narrowed, “I would. I am.” 

A tense moment passed till Erwin spoke, “How much do you love your grandson?” Atticus jerked in the chair, “How dare you! He’s my world and I love him without bounds.” Erwin leaned his hand on his palm, elbow on the other arm of the chair, “I never question _if_ you loved him. Then tell us what you know.” Atticus recoiled, “Or what?” 

“Or I’ll kill you.” Levi stood in the doorway, “Eren’s with Jean and Marco heading to the store. It’s just us and in this house, there are plenty of places to hide a body. I’m done with this shit, these games. Tell us what you know or I’ll torture it out of you. I don’t care. I want this to end as quickly as possible and if you help us then you get to continue on being the lovable grandpa that no one dislikes. Because honestly, you reek of shit.” 

Zadkiel had been listening in the bathroom the entire time. Erwin told him it was a fine place to eavesdrop and wait in case he needed back up. After Levi’s speech he decided to pop out and look around. _Guess that Levi isn’t so lame after all._ Atticus’ eyes were full of emotion, fear, anger, confliction. He saw Zadkiel and sighed, “You would show up now you communist.” Zad smiled, pearly white teeth straight and perfect, “I’m an angel.” His eyes hardened, “the angel of revenge.” Atticus took out a piece of paper sketching a family tree of sorts:

“Annabell Arlert had a sister Alaa Arlert. I could not stand her and she married her husband, Ari Arlert, on the same day. We had children around the same time and they were close. Ari died. I think he was murdered but they say it was flu. Alaa was in a car crash. She was drunk and hit a tree, serves her right if you ask me. Our daughter Adele and their daughter Alma were first cousins and close until their teens. They both went down less than favorable paths. Your mother and father were never meant to take care of a child. They were horrid at it and always were. It pained me. Alma went missing and we don’t know what happened to her.” Armin looked down, “How are we related to the Reiss family?” Atticus shrugged, “Cousins.” “But we’re actually Reiss aren’t we? The alphabet is to control blood but it’s also a sham. It’s to hide the true size of the family and also to make people feel lesser than to those who call themselves Reiss. Why are they so special? Why do they get the name?” He hissed, surprising himself with the amount of venom. He was on Levi’s side. He was sick of this.

Atticus paused looking at Zadkiel for a long serious moment, “Did she ever tell you?” He looked down at his feet, “They…are the only ones that can turn into shifters, they are the only ones that the first king’s memories can be awoken in, and I mean the list goes on. She said that those who are Reiss are in line for the succession of power. She said that’s why they went after her, jealousy.” Levi moved inside of the room shutting the door, arms crossed and a scowl on his face, “Who is she?” His deep voice angered. Atticus looked to Erwin, “Marilyn.” Levi frowned, “Marilyn Smith?” Erwin spoke, “Marilyn Reiss.” 

Levi’s world stopped and then suddenly started to spin and spin and spin and he was sick. He was so sick. He felt horribly. His head ached, pounded, he saw such horrible things. _He was cutting Eren out of his titan form, steam everywhere, the forest burning around them. He was dying, gun shots and sword piercings, he needed Eren to wake up before he died so he could see him, see him one last time open his eyes and tell him he loved him so very much. He heard someone calling for Eren, calling for him to drop him and he wasn’t going to drop him. There were people coming. Then another voice, closer, familiar, out of breath, “Is he dead?” “No.” Levi looked to them, holding Eren closer. They were concerned, frowning and tears in the corner of their eyes but they were otherwise very calm in the moment, “Why won’t he wake up?” “I don’t know. I’m dying…I need help.” They frowned more, “I can see.” Their voice was soothing, like a mother. He appreciated it, always had and always would. He knew they were running out of time, “Please, take him.” He started to get upset, really loose himself as he held Eren closer, lips on the top of his head before turning him towards him, “Take him far away, far away from me. I am tainted,”_

_“Stop with the self hating Jew routine and let me check his pulse!” They touched his neck as Levi watched them. He had a thought, “Why are you so calm.” He didn’t answer for a long time, “I’m sorry.” Levi’s body tensed. He knew that tone and he rejected it, “Sorry?” “He’s not healing, Levi.” “What?! No!” “He’s going to die…” “No!” Levi fell to his knees cradling Eren to him, his armless and legless form bleeding around him. He’d never see those eyes, hear that voice, know that love. Another person was gone. Another choice he had to decide if he regretted it or not. Did he regret loving the so called suicidal maniac?_ _Never_ _The voices again, “Go, live. I can’t and I won’t without him.” They took a moment before looking truly horrified, “I have to do something or they’ll get the coordinate.” He knew he was right but what is he going to, “Oh God, Armin…NO! NOT THAT PLEASE!”_ Levi threw up all over the floor before Erwin got to him picking him up to take him in to the bathroom

Armin stared as they moved around him assisting Levi. Levi wasn’t the only person to see, to know. He wasn’t the only person to see that…


	92. I must become harder

Armin remained seated as Atticus peered out the window. Levi was now recovered, Zad was draining his flask, and Erwin had cleaned the floor well enough for Levi. “Marilyn Reiss is the first cousin of Rod Reiss. Rod is the current leader of the Reiss family. She was supposed to become Lady Reiss but that title was taken by his other cousin, Leah. Leah hated Marilyn and her parents. Leah’s mother left Marilyn’s family for dead in a DP camp and spent most of her life and Leah’s life trying to track them down and kill them. They succeeded eventually but by then she had met Gabriel Smith and married him, thus coming under the protection of the Smith clan. 

Armin looked over at Levi who was pale like a ghost. He knew he didn't look any better by the quiet and quick questions Erwin asked him about how he felt. Levi eventually looked up and they shared a moment of mutual horror and acceptance at what he had had to do. He did it for a reason. That was clear. He did it and Levi understood it was either him or them and he'd rather it have been Armin. But what did this mean for Eren? What role would he play now and or was it forever changed because of Armin?

"Leah is dead now so it's just Rod." Zadkiel sat down on the sofa, "Erwin, your mother...that was who it was. She asked me to kill her and I did. Leah's mother had given her all of this information and she wanted to just live in peace so I did it for her and Gabe knew. He knew they would now start hunting me and he broke the ban the family had on speaking to me to get me to safety. That's why I had to go to Russia and why they are still looking for me. Their children are all dead too." Erwin was shocked, "How?!" Zad pursed his lips, "Ask Grisha Jaeger."

"We will." Erwin proclaimed, looking at the uneasy face of his lover and husband. Armin continued, "but tell me more about my mother and this Alma." Atticus leaned in his chair, he looked so worn down, "Alma was a well read girl, had a lot of potential. Went to the same religious school as Adele but she started to get this air about her, this too good for everyone air. I let it go, kids become haughty sometimes. But she seemed to be really involved in things that went unseen. She was pretty, looked a lot like Armin does with his hair long like that and in fact could be mistaken for her in plain daylight if someone saw him in similar clothes to what she wore. She had this need to climb higher in the family I never understood. Marilyn and Adele were the opposite."

"She wanted to be left alone and not be told what to do by anyone. She disliked Rod and I get it, he's slimy. She never wanted to do anything you told her to do. She was beautiful, clever, talented, and more. Her travels, her passions, her pure love she had for her husband that she wore like a badge of pride, this angered many in the family because rarely does anyone marry for love, made her a target, a black sheep. She was who they wanted on the thrown in the beginning but Rod would never have let her without some serious proof." Armin jumped on it, "Proof of what?" Zadkiel’s eyes narrowed, "Proof she could control titans and memories?" He didn't respond for a while, "Exactly. She had to prove she was who belonged but how do you do that when the power to do so was taken from them?" The room was silent, save for Levi, "Explain." Atticus frowned, "The coordinate allowed the Reiss family to do all of those things but it's missing, it’s gone."

Levi held it together as best he could, “What is the coordinate?” Atticus stood up, “I don’t rightly know myself. You’ll just have to ask Grisha. He’s had access to my files since we met.” The room was silent because no one had expected that, “Really?” Erwin was intrigued, “Why?” “Because I’m not allowed to do much. My role in all of the past lives has been small and it must remain so. You parents in the original life ran away, Armin. They ran away in a hot air balloon but they were killed before they could get over the walls and see anything of use. Because of this, they’ve been the target of the Reiss retribution train and that’s why they resent you so much…they did resent you. Because, you’ve been hand picked for some special purpose. You all have but you Armin, you have specifically been picked for something in the Reiss family.” 

Armin gritted his teeth, “Was it so in the original life?” Atticus sighed, “Yes, you were supposed to marry someone specific.” “Who? Why me?” “Because we’re also capable of unlocking the memories and using the coordinate but only if we’re strong enough.” Armin frowned, “How do you know if you’re strong enough?” “Have you taken a moment to think about what it might take to wield such power? A strong mind is key and that’s what you have. You’re smart, resilient, and if anyone had a chance of taking the power and bringing it over to this branch of the family.” _And there it is. I’m just a tool for your little inter-family war. This is just another wanna-be coup and I was supposed to be sedated ruler…how do I know that they’ll be sedated…I know more than I thought._ Which reaffirmed he wanted nothing to do with this and anyone who wanted him to do it, “Get out.”

Erwin’s eyes went wide as he felt Armin shake, his voice low and angry, “Get out, opa. Go home. We need some space.” He hissed out standing up, “I mean it. Get. Out.” Atticus was clearly wounded and very confused he stood, putting his handkerchief in his pocket as he walked out to start packing his things and leave. Erwin stood up as Zadkiel gave an amused look at Armin who was still shaking. He turned on his heel towards Levi who’d stepped to the side, they shared a moment, “Hineh ma tov uma na'im, shevet achim gam yachad.” Levi’s eyes stung, it was just like the day he was in the water and Armin, golden and pure, swam out to him. They were always on their own sad little island. What had made Armin react that way?”

When Eren, Jean, and Marco got back Atticus was leaving. He said goodbye to them and they went inside, confused and unsure what they were walking in on. Eren saw Erwin and ducked in to the office, “Where is Armin? Why did he ask opa Arlert to leave?” Erwin shrugged, “I have no idea. He’s in your room and wants to see you.” Eren clapped his hand on the mezuzah they got for all of the rooms. He went to his bedroom but found Armin in the bathroom. Armin was standing in front of the mirror bent over the counter, “Cut it off, please.” Eren paused, “Cut your hair?” “Yeah.” “All of it or back to where it normally was?” “Normal.” “Why, you’ve got it so long and pretty.” “I need a change. I need to become harder.” 

Eren didn’t understand it all but he did feel it, feel something different about Armin and he agreed. Maybe he needed to cut the weight and not be so sweet for the coming events, whatever those may be. “Okay, but you asked him to leave, right?” Armin nodded, “I’m not going to let people use me anymore, Eren. I’m not going to let them into my family and not have good intentions. We need a break. I needed him to leave so I don’t say or do something I might regret.” He turned to Eren, “I love you. I will always protect this, protect us.” Eren moved forward opening the drawer with his scissors and razors, “I feel the exact same way.” And with that Armin became death, destroyer of worlds again.

**********************

Eren found his way into Erwin’s study, “Armin and I are going to go up tomorrow and see my father.” Erwin looked down at the desk pushing away, “That sounds wonderful.” Erwin smiled and Eren moved more into the room, “You know I’m shit at reading you, Erwin. What’s that face?” Erwin shrugged, “I just missed you, honey.” Eren smiled ruefully, “Want to eat candy and talk about it?” The playful glint in Erwin’s eye made him more brash, “Or better yet, we can eat candy on the futon while we do other things.” Erwin moved looking around, “I think my couch will be just fine.” He smiled walking towards Eren where he stopped to kiss him. He took his chin in his hand, lifting it up as Eren sighed thankfully into the kiss, moaning lowly in his chest. His hands pulled at Erwin’s pants pulling him closer while he spread his legs wider to take him in. Erwin’s tongue marked Eren’s mouth, all the crevices and spaces. When he pulled away, trail of saliva connecting them, he smirked, murmuring, “Your lips are soft.” Eren smirked coyly in response, “Duh. Lips are soft, Erwin.” Erwin chuckled while Eren’s hands moved up his back, pressing sensual open mouth kisses to his neck, “Honey, you’re ridiculous but I love you.”

He picked Eren up, hands gripping his ass roughly while Eren’s hands moved around and up his chest, he stroked his neck and pulled his hair all while they kissed hotly till he dropped Eren on the couch, “I better go get that candy.” Eren laughed shortly, grinning, “Bring the Ipads and we can play Super Mario cart together.” Erwin smirked, “Loser has clean up?” “DEAL. You’re gunna lose Commander Handsome.” Perhaps he would but it’d be worth it. He hoped Armin was resting or spending time with Levi like he was Eren. What happened to his blessed little husband? When he returned Eren was standing up, “I thought I’d take a few layers off,” he let his shirt fall as his hands went to undo his belt, “since it’s about to warm up considerably.” Erwin moved forward like a predator.

*******************

Levi was now in his office preparing their expense reports as he did every month. When you come from nothing you keep a close eye on your money whenever you have any. Erwin used to pay someone to do it and that was just a waist in his opinion. He started pouring over the numbers and saw that his own separate account had little activity from Eren. He was confused until he remembered that he had his own account and was paid by the school as a lab assistant. He felt himself smile at Eren’s self sufficient policing of his own needs and made a note to have a talk with him about how Levi’s money was his money too but other than that it seemed it was going to be a mess like normal. Erwin would buy things, keep the receipts, put them in a box and then hand them to Levi at the end of the month. He started pouring through them and marking them down. He hated how spoiled Erwin was sometimes.

An hour went by and then another one before he heard the door open quietly. Armin appeared large oversized faded black cotton t-shirt on, grey thigh high socks, and short blond boyish hair like when they had first met. His eyes were so blue against the black as Levi regarded him out of the corner of his eye. He made no mention or acknowledgement of him. He simply let Armin do whatever Armin wanted to do.

Armin moved in front of the desk, “Levi?” Levi kept writing down numbers, clicking the calculator buttons deftly, “are you terribly busy?” Levi smirked internally, _Not at all mami but I want you to work for it._ “You have eyes,” his cold stern voice slicing through the silent room, “use them.” Armin smirked but lowered his head in hopes he would not see him do so, “I see. So, you are currently engaged.” His fingers trailed the top of the desk as Levi continued to work. Armin walked on the balls of his feet delicately, slowly and teasingly, to the center of Levi’s desk before dropping down on his knees.

Levi hesitated, he was very intrigued. Soon Armin was crawling under the desk to the other side. He appeared between Levi’s legs, “Wouldn’t you rather be engaged with me?” He blinked owlishly; bottom lips pouty but the corner of his mouth help such a delightful smirk. Levi kept his façade, “No. I’d rather finish this.” He went back to numbers as stayed between his legs on the floor. He bent over more to not see Armin. That’s when he knew he’d lost the game because Armin would notice that slight gesture as he always did. Armin moved up forcing Levi to widen his legs and lean back, “But, sir,” his voice was seductive and willing, “I want your attention, good or bad.” Levi looked at him, gaze hard, “You’re a problem, Arlert.” Armin gave him an innocent look, “What’s a boy to do?” Levi remained unfazed, “Follow the rules.” Armin tilted his head to the side, hands on the inside of Levi’s thighs and rubbing over to the sides, “I don’t like rules unless I’m made to follow.” He whispered hotly, leaning forward, skin above his thigh highs revealing itself as the shirt shifted and lifted. Levi’s blood was thrumming in his veins as he looked at Armin as he bit his bottom lip, “You don’t want me, sir? I just want you to want me. I want you, you big fat cock, and your hands around my neck…please…” His voice was pitiful and innocently hurt sounding. Levi snapped, hands flying to his waist to pull him up into his lap, legs spread, knees trapped between leather arm rests and Levi’s strong thighs.

Armin’s hands grabbed at the fabric over his chest pulling him into him as his lips crashed against his. Levi’s hands moved up and down his legs, teasing the lily white skin of his exposed thighs, fingertips delving under the hem of his thigh highs before wrapping around to the back to pull up his shirt and grip his ass. They were panting into one another’s mouths, their lips moving against each other hungrily. Armin made such delightfully submissive sounds that Levi whined and growled like an animal in heat. He felt the lace boy short panties, pulled them back tightly while Armin gasped and bit his lip pulling it as his face flushed pink, “Mmmm thank you, sir.” 

Levi’s hands moved all along his body up to his chest as Armin’s hands pulled his hair and his hips moved in small semi circles on Levi’s waist. Levi pulled back a bit, hand gripping the flesh of one round mound after it dipped inside of the sweet lace, finger tips stroking in the cleft as he rubbed it and massaged it, preparing to slap it with such force Armin would be left breathless, “Mami,” Armin’s lips covered his again, his tongue twisted itself around inside of Levi’s mouth moving in mind blowing ways, he pulled back , “you’re so sweet, mami. You’re so fucking sweet. Mami, fuck… Mhm,” Armin rolled himself forward, pressing down on Levi, “Sir, you should punish me,” He breathed against his lips as Levi’s hands were ready to do just that, “What the fuck is going on here?” 

Zadkiel was in the door that hadn’t shut all the way, “This is fucked up. This is so fucked up. Today has been nothin’ but bullshit and this shit is so low. You’re his so called best friend and you’re cheating with his newlywed husband! Who the fuck are you? What the fuck are you even doing Armin? You just got married and this is the shit you do!? I should have known.” He left, neck red, and face enraged. His footsteps echoing as Levi rested his head on the back of the chair while Armin started to react, “We should,” “This is going to be fucked up. Eren has been waiting to get Erwin alone for a while. He’s probably walking in on them doing what we were doing.” Armin thought that was an amusing.Eren and Erwin had already finished their heated moment, now they were on the couch together playing games together and eating sour straws. Erwin had his tank top on, boxers hastily pulled on since there was only one throw on the couch and Eren had it. He was sitting upright, Eren’s long lean legs across his lap while his head rested on the arm rest, torso and sex covered by the throw. Eren wanted to get something started again and didn’t bother re-clothing himself as Erwin enjoyed letting his hands roam over his legs, between his thighs, and down to tickle the sensitive areas. His hand ducked between his legs when the door slammed open. He removed it and then saw a red faced, angry Zad. “You’re fucking friend is fucking around with your husband in the other room right now. I’m so sorry but you had to know.” He came inside more and Eren’s eyes widened, “Oh.” He said in awe as Erwin’s eyes told him he was searching for the words, “Levi is fooling around with Armin?” Zad’s eyes went wide, “Yes, right now in your house!” 

Erwin stood up, taking on the polite university recruiter, “Zad, it’s okay. That’s fine.” Zadkiel looked like Erwin had just hit him in the face and spit on him, “Its okay? NO IT’S NOT THAT’S YOUR HUSBAND AND HE’S CHEATING ON YOU? ARE YOU IN SHOCK?” Eren didn’t dare breathe wrong. He was seeing Zad get mad and he could sense that he was a man of danger. This was him keeping his cool and it wouldn’t last long, “ZADKIEL I KNOW! It’s,” “What are you doing?” He looked at the couch, “Are you…are you in here fucking around with him? What the fuck is this? You’re in here fucking him!?” Erwin wouldn’t stand anything being directed at Eren, “Zadkiel, listen to me now!” 

His commanding voice made him pause, “Levi and I were in a relationship of sorts before we met Armin and Eren and they were in a similar relationship, too. Basically when we all started dating they would sometimes continue their separate relationship while allowing us to do the same. Then, as things progressed and memories were revealed we each developed similar feelings for the others. However, the marriage is between Eren and Levi just like mine is between Armin and me. These are the important relationships and they are special and traditional. It works for us and that’s all that matters. It’s a type of polyamouros relationship. Armin can do whatever he wants with Levi but only Levi. I can do what I want with Eren but only Eren and they can be together and me and Levi. Don’t attack Eren, Armin, or Levi when this is our life and how we live it. If you’re disgusted, offended, morally upset, whatever then you can join the other person that left today. I’d hope that since you’re not a very traditional person you’ll take a moment to understand. I am happy. This is my family. You will not attack my family especially if you hope to remain _a part_ of that family.”

Zad was feeling overwhelmed, “You and Levi?” Erwin’s eyes narrowed, “Yes, we were together.” Zad didn’t get it, “How?” “How were we together?” “I just…it surprises me. I don’t know the back story.” Erwin’s eyes widened, “Oh,” he blinked looking at Eren, “Eren you should get dressed. I’m going to have to talk to Zad about…that.” Eren dressed and started out into the hallway as Erwin started, “I said _my Levi_ a lot in Russia.” Zad made an exasperated noise, “As if I was supposed to pick up on something like this from that! Just tell me the story, gindele.” Erwin’s breath hitched, _she calls me that. You call me that, too._ Erwin sat down, “Well, it began when I went into the marines…”

The night was long as he explained things to Zad. At dinner they all sat in awkward silence till he told them he was fine with it and they should all stop being awkward because he didn’t have time for it. It helped ease the tension but there atmosphere was still heavy for Eren and Armin specifically. Tomorrow was going to be a big day and their stomach knotted together as they sat thinking about what Grisha would reveal to them. That night they all slept in Levi and Eren’s room, huddled together, a family that would not be destroyed.


	93. Reish

The letter _Reish_ means head. It’s towards the end of the Aleph-beit but it’s important. It looks like a poor man bent over. We know that Reish is also beginning and represents the four beginnings in the Jewish year. As a poor man, who has less than 200 monies, because that is the limit to wealth a person can have an beg, he is not truly poor if he has a knowledge of Torah. We are to always remember that lack of Torah knowledge is the ultimate poverty.

Reish is a man running towards the Hei, he is also sometimes referred to as evil. If he is or is not is not always easy to tell but it is possible that without Torah knowledge he will become evil more than a man with it. Souls: The mind “bending over” in order to express itself in speech. Devoted service to God. Divinity: The revelation of God’s thoughts through speech. The union of Kabbalah and halachah. The presence of Shabbat in the weekdays. Worlds: The state of poverty of this world. The experience of poverty prior to it leading to selflessness. Souls: The conscious state of mind. The second day of Rosh HaShanah – conscious beginning. **The power to procreate.** Divinity: The superconscious state of mind. **“My thoughts are not your thoughts.”** The first day of Rosh HaShanah – unconscious beginning. NUMBER: Two hundred. Worlds: The upper limit of poverty – two hundred zuz. The two hundred lights that shine out of the self. **“The sun is charity.”** Souls: Two hundred heads of the Sanhedrin from the tribe of Issachar. Time. Divinity: The numerical half way point of the alef-beit. Creation begins from the “middle point” of God’s Infinite Light. The evolving of the “Kingdom of the Infinite.” **The King and His people.**

Marco had been typing away when the keys stopped, “I’m sorry, Levi. That was a lot to follow.” Levi was starring out the window, Donner’s head resting on his lap. He looked a the leaves and all their colors of green. He looked at the bark, the texture ghosted under the palm of his skin, a memory. He turned to face Marco in the study, his eyes rimmed and face stubbly from not shaving that morning. Marco was a patient man, a good man. Such a good man that Levi often lost himself in this world, his second world of Jewish mysticism. “I’m sorry.” Marco smiled, “No, it was good but I’d need to reread all of that a few times to get it. You just kind of gave me a lump of soul searching information.

Levi felt very insecure, he tried to make it better, his anxiety rising. He fell back into his Yeshiva days in hopes of Marco understanding: “The ordinal beginning of the alef-beit is the letter alef. Phonetically, the vapor, the amorphous “matter” from which the pronunciation of every letter is formed, is the secret of the letter hei. In script, every letter begins from a point, the secret of the letter yud. In relation to meaning, cognizant intelligence or wisdom, reish means “beginning.” These four letters combine to spell aryeh, “the lion,” the first of the four “holy animals” of the Divine chariot of Ezekiel. They further combine to spell yirah, “fear” or “awe.”

“The beginning of wisdom is the fear of God.” We are taught that the inner experience of the soul which serves as the vessel to arouse and contain ever new flashes of insight, wisdom, is bitul, “selflessness.” Fear, the beginning of wisdom, corresponds to the source of this state in the soul. Fear “shocks” ego, breaking the innate coarseness of the heart, that coarseness or egocentricity that prevents one from being truly receptive and perceptive to reality outside oneself in general, and the Divine Essence of all reality in particular.”

“The two letters that fill the letter reish are yud and shin, spelling yeish, which means “something,” in general identified in “Chassidut” with the consciousness of ego or being a separate, independent entity – a “something.” **Reish is the only letter “pregnant” with this “filling.”** We are taught that though the lower “something,” the “created something,” appears to be totally separate from the consciousness of its Creator and the creative force which continuously brings it into existence, nonetheless its seeming separate “somethingness” serves, in truth, to reflect the Absolute and “True Something” who is truly and uniquely independent, the “Cause of all causes.”

“The insight of Divine wisdom is the “nothing” between the two states of “something,” whose ultimate purpose is to serve to draw the consciousness of the “True Something” into the experience of the lower “something.” **This process of clarification, dependent upon wisdom and its beginning, fear, is expressed in the verse: “You have made all in wisdom.” “Made” refers throughout the Torah to the process of rectification and clarification. The Zohar paraphrases this verse: “You have clarified them all with wisdom.” The “art of clarification” is the “beginning of the end”; the three final letters of the alef-beit, are the beginning, middle, and end of the end, respectively. Just as the tzadikconnects to the kuf in its full spelling, so the “reish” “leads in” to the shin, all the clarifications of wisdom ascending upward to their Divine Source in the flame of the love of God and His people Israel.”**

Marco had started typing again but when he finished he sat back. “I’m almost relieved to be a Catholic, Levi. This is some heavy stuff.” Levi snorted, “I just want to make sense.” Marco heard the sincere tone in his voice and he knew that the Levi he was getting to see was not the Levi other’s got to see. He was so vulnerable when they worked together and he appreciated it. Marco drank his coffee, “Levi, why is this the lead in to Grisha’s story?” Levi frowned, “Because he is a poor man, Marco. He is a poor man without Torah knowledge and I feel sorry for him. It’s also…the letters Marco.” Marco’s eyebrows rose in surprise, “That’s right! Yours is a story of letters. Reish, Hei, Shin, Aleph, Beit,” “We haven’t touched Hei yet,” “Oh, sorry, that’s right, I just assumed we would now.”

Levi sat back in his seat, “Let me start now with what happened yesterday in a town outside of Shigashina.” 

***************

Levi was playing on the porch petting Commander who sat in his lap purring while Isi grazed and played with Donner. Isi was getting huge and Levi kept thinking about what they were going to do now. The yard was fenced in, it looked nice. Erwin had done it on his own and when Levi came home to a black rod iron fence around their property that he like being open and free he had hit him where it hurt with “but when we have kids.” Levi tched, _“That damn manipulative man. He’s always doing shit and making things so fucking,_ ” “Levi, give me a kiss.” _Speak of the devil._ Erwin leaned over him and Levi gave him a kiss. “Zad is staying here if you want to leave Donner. I told him he needed to stay a while and,” “You want him to move in.” Erwin paused, “No, why would you think that?” Levi felt bad, he should have said anything, “No, I’m sorry. I misspoke.” 

Erwin sat down with him, Commander meowed and he started to pet him, “Why did you say that Levi? I…haven’t said anything about him really.” Levi knew he wanted him to stay because he was his real father and he was the only person he had left. “You want him to move in because he’s living in Russia in the woods and it’s not safe.” Erwin frowned, “I guess so.” He looked out in the yard, “But, that’s not all of what you think so tell me the rest.” Levi bit his lip, “Don’t get angry.” Erwin was dreading this, “God, Lee, when you say things like that…” “I think you want him near because he’s biologically your father. I think you want him here because he’s it and I know you einayim sheli, you will do everything you can to make it work so you can have some sort of family by blood. Now, you’re having a child and you want Grandpa Zad around. I don’t blame you. I just think that’s what you want deep down but maybe even you didn’t really know that.” “Grandpa? No, I get a better name.” Zadkiel came out to sit down, “einayim sheli…you call him that?” Levi regarded him suspiciously, “Yes.” “Why?” “Because he is my eyes.” 

Zad lit a cigarette, “Mmm you’re so Jewish.” Levi didn’t understand Zad, “I am. Very.” “I like it. I meant no offense.” Erwin stood up, “I need to make sure my baby actually woke up. You know he tends to just go back to sleep with Eren there.” Levi snorted, “They’re worthless.” When he went inside the men sat in silence till Zad spoke, “I used to be good, well I still am, at charming people and making them like me. Its second nature, just like what I’ve seen of Erwin.” Levi cut his eyes over to the side at him, “Like father like son?” Zad frowned, “I am not his father. My brother is his father. I am an uncle. I will not take his place, not after everything it took to get him here.” Levi took a sip of his tea, “You loved her.” 

Zadkiel tensed up, “No.” Levi leaned back, head to the side to look at him, “I love Erwin Smith. If Marilyn was even a fraction like him then I get it. But, what I find to be even more interesting is that Marilyn sounds like Armin. Which, if that is the case and I really think it is, then I can even more understand how you feel and why you treat him the way you do. You delight in his tenacity and his sweetness. I do to. You want Erwin to love you, too. Because you love him or you wouldn’t be here. If he was just some kid you fathered for your brother you wouldn’t be here.”

“Know what I think? I think from the moment you saw him you felt guilty.” Zadkiel huffed, “You’re fucking crazy.” Levi chuckled lowly, “Naw, I’m not. You felt guilty because you held him and you just loved him. You loved him so much and your intentions were always pure and true and you loved your brother and respected him and her. I think you didn’t realize you loved her until recently. I think that’s why you linger here. That’s fine, you can linger. You can linger as long as you don’t hurt him. It doesn’t matter to me what you do as long as you don’t hurt Erwin Smith. That man is my home, he is my Sukka. Eren and I live in the home I found in him and Armin is right there along with us. Jean and Marco, David and Mikasa, and Mike and Hanji. These are my family members. I’ll let you in eventually but only if you do right by him.” Zadkiel finished his cigarette.

“I was supposed to be king.” Levi had heard about Erwin’s dream with his mother, he was surprised that Zad was talking about this. “And you said no?” “They said it should be Gabriel.” “Did you care?” “I did.” “Why?” “Because I’d always been second best and I was excited to be first for once. I loved Gabe, wanted to be him but I was born as a replacement if something happened to him. When he met Marilyn it’s like they just smothered him.” “Why?” “Because she was a Reiss. They thought they’d struck gold. Imagine a child of a Reiss and Smith? That’s unbelievable. What would that person be like? They would have died if they’d found out I fathered him.” “Why?” I’m out there, a little too dashing, a little too ready to fight, a little too smart, a little too quick to act, etc… I’m lethal but I have gaping faults and Gabe and Marilyn never pointed the out. She…” Levi rubbed Commander’s ear, “Should have loved you.” 

His words were soft and Zad was suddenly moved, a tear escaping his eye, “I don’t understand why she didn’t.” Levi shrugged, “Because that would have been too simple.” 

***************

Grisha and Carla lived in a nice [house](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e2/cf/9e/e2cf9ebe9f50f66b4da81037b998b37c.jpg) but they really could have done so much better. It was in a community and Eren reminded Levi that at one point his father had been blackballed and was almost bankrupted by the Reiss family. They bought a basic house in a community and gave it a few face lifts over the years making it look chic like a new build and those around them had done the same. Jean and Marco were heading up to with them but they were going straight to their parents house to check on them.

Erwin and Armin sat in the back cuddled up together with a blanket as looked online at all sorts of things. When they pulled up Armin stretched, “My tummy hurts.” Eren nodded, “Mine does too.” Levi and Erwin didn’t like that at all, “Where should we go?” Carla opened the front door walking out to the car, “Come in, all of you. Grisha wants everyone.” She was little off, Eren went straight to it, “Do you know what we want to talk to him about?” She paused, “I do. Come on, Erwin, Levi. Come.” They all were lead into the house and sat down in the [living room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/c3/0f/c1/c30fc1ee5b0e22d46d0f207eaf0f3a43.jpg) to wait on Grisha who was in the bathroom. 

Carla went to the fridge and got a pepsi. She walked back over, “Mikasa didn’t want to come?” Eren shook his head, “She was nauseas.” She shook her head, “Oh God, poor baby. I’ll have to send her a care package. Ginger helped me.” Levi snorted, “My mother took ginger. Even when she wasn’t pregnant she swore it worked.” Carla laughed and it was nice and immediately the atmosphere improved. She leaned on the counter, “I can’t wait till I have the little baby in my arms, a little bundle of life and my first grandchild.” Eren perked up, “Oh, well, when dad gets in here…”

“I’m here and ready for execution.” He did look pitiful and Carla hardened a bit. It was obvious that she knew now, knew more than she ever had. It wasn’t that they were a couple that kept secrets from one another, no that’s why it was worse that he had. She loved Grisha Jaeger with her whole heart but she had suffered a lot for his genius. Now that she knew he’d done things to their unborn and that he’d done things to Eren and Armin, the two children she had before Mikasa, it was hurting them and their relationship. It would be a miracle if they survived this but that was for them to work out on their own.

Eren tried to deliver the news without letting his anxiety bleed through. “Armin and I have some news.” Levi looked over, confused, “Um, we have news and they have news. Why are you suddenly married to Armin?” Armin rolled his eyes, “Because they’re basically my parents, Levi.” Eren smiled, “Burn. Okay, well, Levi and I are expecting.” Armin smiled seeing Eren’s goofy infectious smile, “And Erwin and I are expecting.” Carla and Grisha wanted to be happy, they did, but they were confused, “Like,” Carla began, “you’re on an adoption list?” Eren shook his head, “The wombs. They work. We have our biological children in them. We made germ cells and so my cell became and egg and we used Levi’s sperm and that’s how it happened. So, you’re going to be grandparents in early February and again probably in late February early March because those are our due dates.” 

Carla squealed, “OH MY GOD WHAT A BLESSING! I CANNOT WAIT TO TELL EVERYONE I KNOW!” Grisha smiled and went to shake Erwin and Levi’s hands while they both embraced Eren and Armin. They were all happy for a moment and then it came time to sit and discuss everything. Grisha recapped what they already knew about his experiments but he paused often, upset with his horrible work. "In the original life I know that I was a doctor. I was found outside of the walls. I was a special person.” Levi and Erwin exchanged glances as Carla looked on puzzled, “What? You haven’t told me this stuff.” Grisha frowned, “I know, sweetie. I’m sorry. I was…I can’t really remember but I was important. I knew the Reiss family, their grounds, I was sponsored by them to go to the camps and work with the prisoners.” “Which camps?” “They had camps for the ethnic bloodlines, had for a long time. I was in charge of continuing the experiments.” Carla sighed, she looked upset, “I need to leave.” “Carla, stop. Stop trying to not remember…”

She frowned, “I don’t want to remember and you know that.” “But why?” “Because it was so bad, Grisha. It was so sad and bad. I just can’t…” “I think you were,” “I know what you think.” “from an ethnic bloodline. Remember, the sickness that hit the village where we feel in love in that life, your parents told me they had left camps a long time ago meaning their blood thinned out. I know they were something and you’re something, that’s why Eren is the way he is.” She slammed her hand down, “Eren’s normal, he normal and good and that’s fine, Grisha. It’s just that you’ve made him less so with all of your experiments.” 

Erwin cleared his throat, “Tell us from the beginning but do so in a very…” Grisha smiled a little, “Detached and clinical way. I worked in the camps that held the minority blood lines. I performed experiments for the Reiss family to discover the secret immunity they possessed. I started making my own serum that could turn people into titans but this wasn’t what I wanted and it angered me. Because of my successes as a doctor the Reiss family honored me and kept me close but it was because I was special, I was from outside of the walls and I was so close to figuring out whatever it was they wanted. I learned their secrets and how the line ascended. Each heir ate the old ruler to ascend the throne.”

“I used to smuggle books to this blonde woman, she was so pretty and she looked like, well she looked like Armin when he got married but she was much colder and she was a mistress. The first fall of the wall was only to depopulate and reestablish dominance because the legion was getting too popular. After it happened, I went to take the power of the Reiss family. When I found out that…that Carla had died I gave it to Eren because only he could avenge her. He was special. He was my son.” 

Grisha cried into his hands, “They hoped the last of any minorities would die in the fall of the wall since they had moved them out from underground in the capital years earlier. Those who stayed did so by hiding thinking they were going to camps. The underground city was basically a ghetto and Mikasa’s family had escaped a transport to the camps earlier.” Levi’s core shook, he felt the flash of fear, fear he’d have to go back to a camp, “I met her father and became friends with her parents and that’s why I was coming to see them the day they were killed. I believe that Carla only has traces of minority blood. I just wanted to figure it all out and maybe, just maybe keep you all from going through this again.” 

“I didn’t want my child to be unprepared. I did what I did because I’ve been trying to create the tools you all need. Armin was weak because of his parents. I did the experiments on him to try and wake him up, wake him up because he’s special, special like I am. My aim with blood is complicated in that it has many different parts. I wanted to create immunity for all people that can be genetically passed down. I’m not 100% sure why memories are linked to blood but I know it's only possible for those who were there, in the original life, and involved to wake them. I have thought that maybe the group has intermarried over the lifetimes and had just enough children to ensure that they all share some sort of blood tie. Another theory is that you all found a way to safe guard yourselves against brainwashing by creating your own serum where you injected each other and used the blood of the group in the trials mixing and combining them so they could pass them down.”

“I also can't rule out the unknown fate factor. It could be that the entire thing is just what it is without reason. The Reiss family however, though stronger and more interbred, can't do this very often and rely on oral stories save for a few reoccurring pairs such as Marilyn Reiss and the Arlerts. All other Reiss alphabet names cannot wake their memories and only know the collective story as it is passed down.” 

“I need you to know I didn’t do what I did coldly. With each child I tried to understand the blood more and more. I knew one would become my son, become Eren, and that he would carry an almost impossible burden but I had to press on. I wanted to make sure he woke, that his memories woke as soon as possible. When Eren was born I noticed that Armin was down the street and that he would also need to be woke so I did it on both of you at the same time. My memories fully came back when I was doing my research at Maria. I did as she suggested and kept it from Carla but the thought that she could die or Hannes die at any time all in the name of fate nearly drove me insane and I switched to exploring methods to bring people back to life to make sure that you, Armin, Jean whoever finished this this life once and for all. If someone crucial dies then it's ruined and we all must wait again. Also, I can’t live in a world without Carla. If she had died…I would have killed myself, Eren, and maybe that’s what should have happened?” Eren and the rest took it all in, “Why is Armin special again?” Grisha pursed his lips looking the side, searching for the reason, “He’s an Arlert. He’s capable of anything with how smart he is. Unfortunately, I can’t help much because I died.”

Eren jerked, “How!?” Grisha’s eyes became soft, “I had you eat me.” Eren stared, “You made me eat you? Why didn’t you avenge mom?” Grisha frowned, “I had a reason, Eren. I just don’t remember it.” Eren pursed his lips as Erwin spoke, “Who was the she you referred to?” Grisha looked to him, “Marilyn, your mother.” Armin spoke next, “When I hanged myself, I died, didn’t I?” He looked at Grisha and he nodded his head, “But I couldn’t let you go, I’m sorry.” Armin’s lips were a thin line, “Why?” “Because, I love you. I know you don’t believe me but I do. I love you like a son. I just couldn’t let you go even though it would mean just having to repeat another cycle. I wanted you to read books under my desk, I wanted you to smile, I wanted you to help Eren the way you do, I wanted to see your eyes light up, I wanted you to live and live a long time. You used to crawl in my lap when I read the paper, remember? You’d trace the words and I would kiss the top of your head while Eren crawled into bed with his momma. You sat with me and that…that made me feel really special, Armin.” 

He paused, “I committed infanticide…but I did it for science and for this very moment, for my son. Gabriel Smith knew and when I came to Maria he helped me and that’s why Levi got the grant to go there because that grant is mine and I left it there for him and before Gabriel died he made Zackly promise to hold it for him. I had no idea who Levi Ackermann was but it was just something I had to do because Marilyn left this letter for Gabriel and told him to do so. She left letters for me and I have them if you want them Erwin, Levi.” Levi was shocked and so was Erwin, this web was too complicated.

“I have always known that my crucifixion was near. You’ll hate me, forever. Your mother might leave me. I wouldn’t blame her. But, I’ll always love you two and hope you find understanding in all of this and that you’re stronger, better, and that you’ll end this once and for all. I’ll do anything you need, if I must die then so be it. Tell me where you need mw to die. I will do anything for you so that you may live. I’m sorry for it all, Eren. I’m sorry I wasn’t the best father. I’ve just been so occupied with finding ways to keep you safe and help you on your righteous path.”

The room was tense, quiet. Everyone felt deflated. It answered some questions but not really. It just made them all feel odd because it was grey; it was so grey with Grisha. Eren was crying, “So, I’m not just an experiment?” Grisha shook, “No, never Eren. Never. I just…tried to believe my own clinical talk. I am far from perfect. I get angry, I’ve done you wrong and I’ve hit you, yelled at you, hurt you and made you think it was your fault. But, I love you and have always loved you. I’m sure if David was here he’d tell you a number of psychological issues with me and how that affected me but at the end of the day it’s never okay the physical things I did to you or the yelling.” Eren cried more, ‘But, you were just stressed out. You were just under pressure.” “I was. But, I was wrong and I just…could you ever forgive me?” Eren stood up, “Yeah, yeah, I love you dad,” he embraced Grisha and Carla moved towards them taking Eren to her chest, she looked at Grisha sadly, “I’m not going to leave you Grisha. I’m just not ready to forgive right now but if you keep being honest then we have a shot.” 

Levi felt very uncomfortable. He was still angry at Grisha, he was also feeling very unwell lately. Armin’s hand was near but he stood up to go to Grisha and Carla who beckoned them over. Grisha was a poor man, in Levi’s opinion. He was cursed with duty and with purpose but he was also in charge of things that let Levi come to Maria and meet his son. Levi felt Erwin’s hand in his, “It’s going to be what it’s going to be.” He smiled at Levi, comfort in his eyes, “You look ill.” Grisha removed his glasses wiping them off before heading over to Levi, “You do. Come back to the office and let me take a look at you.” Levi stood up, legs heavy like lead.

In Dr. Jaeger’s he took Levi’s blood pressure and checked him out, “You might actually have a type of hay fever, Levi. It’ll hit you in the next two days and last for probably a week. I’ll tell Eren to make sure you’re inside, away from allergens, cold compresses, and,” “Are you afraid?” Grisha put his stethoscope down, “Of losing my family, yes. I am….I’ve never told anyone this but…I’m adopted. My life is and has always been a type of mystery.” 

Levi felt the suede seat beneath his fingers, “And you feel like you’re the beginning of it all. You’re the source of pain and you fear that. You’re also selfless. Fear shocks the ego and is the beginning of wisdom. Before you were aware that you were special you were something but you didn’t know what and now you’re the beginning of Eren’s and Armin’s collective pain but you did it for a noble cause…fear and awe is what you felt in regards to what you created. Pregnancy of thoughts and more, life time two hundred….” Grisha worried his lip, “Levi, I think you may have a very high fever.” Levi moved off the chair and met his gaze, “No, I’m just trying to figure out how I feel about you. I’m trying to understand.” Grisha nodded, “I’m sorry.” Levi shook his hand, “We need to go now.” 

“Levi,” he waited till he turned around, “I am so happy you two are having a baby. Please know I would never,” Levi cut him off, “I know you wouldn’t. I think that’s why I’m not bashing your face in for hitting Eren or taking layers of skin off one by one. You don’t know my story; you don’t know the things I’d like to do to you because of it. I won’t keep our child away from you because they don’t have any other purpose than that we love them and want them but I will watch you. Your words about Armin make me think you’d be a fine grandfather for them to know but don’t push me. I take time. I’m like Eren, just better at controlling my anger.” Grisha smiled, “One day, will you tell me your story?” Levi smirked, “Maybe.”

***********

They were back at home, Erwin and Levi were in Levi’s room watching something on the TV. Eren was next to Erwin asleep, pressed into his side, drooling slightly. Erwin smiled looking at him. He had gotten hot throwing his blanket off and rolled over to Erwin making Levi jealous and causing him to express his disgust with a “tch.” “You’re sick Levi. Better call in this week.” “I’m fine.” “I called Hanji already. Mila’s rescheduled till you get better.” “You bastard, I wanted to see her and take her to Leap Frogs.” “Eren can take her. I can take her. Armin can take her. You stay here.” The door opened interrupting them. Armin shuffled towards the bed, face red and puffy from tears. Erwin opened his arms, “Baby,” “Levi,” Armin let out a sniffle crawling on top of him. 

Levi wrapped his arms around him as he laid across him, face pressed into his chest and hands bawled up in his shirt, “Levi.” Erwin was beyond wounded and miffed. Levi turned his face to the side, he was loving it, “What?” He crooned knowing it would poke the bear more. Armin sounded so cute and pouty, “Hold me.” Levi hummed, “Ok.” 

Erwin cleared his throat, “Oh, baby, I see you must have been so upset you did not see me over here, large, welcoming chest barred and ready to comfort you.” Armin pouted, peeking up at him, “I want my Velvel.” Levi stroked his hair, “Why are you upset?” Erwin crossed his arms, “Don’t tell him, tell me!” Levi rolled his eyes, voice mocking in its falsetto pitch, “Love me, love me, love me. Everybody, vote for me for Prom Queen. I’m Erwin Smith. I’m queen bee. I buy my dress and 1 3 5.” Erwin cut his eyes over, “You buy your shit at sears so shut the fuck up.” 

Armin lifted Levi’s shirt crawling under, “BABY! THAT’S OUR THING! Levi move, let my baby go free.” “Mami can stay wherever mami wants to stay.” Eren woke up with all the racket, “I want to know why he’s your baby and I’m not. I’m kind of pissed off by that nickname every time I hear it.” Erwin’s eyes narrowed, “Does mami mean baby in Hebrew. You bastard, he is my baby. I will honestly fight you.” Levi paused, “Yeah, it does. I never really thought about it but I’m not afraid of you so bring it. _if you boyfriend’s got beef then tell him I’m a vegetarian and I ain’t fuckin’ scared of him._ ” Eren burst into laughter, “How do you know that?” Levi smirked, “Erwin’s gay ass made me watch all these things to bring me up to speed with life.”

Armin uncovered his head, “Levi, love me.” Eren rolled his eyes pressing against Erwin, “I’m going to try and go back to sleep against this handsome ass man over here.” Erwin smirked, “I guess this isn’t too bad, look that this bambi I have right here and those long lean legs.” Levi rolled them on their sides as Armin moved up more. His nose against Levi’s as Erwin stole curious glances, what would it be like to be a fly on that wall?

After second Eren heard, “Eren, are you still awake?” Armin’s voice was quiet, “Yeah, Arm. Why are you so upset, Armin?” Armin pressed against Levi, Levi already knew, he already saw it, whispering, “I ate you.” Erwin and Eren jerked as Levi pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose for comfort, “I ate you, Eren, in the original life.” Eren rolled over, “You were a titan too!?” Levi gave him strength to go on, “I ate you while I was a human after Levi cut you from your titan.” Eren paused, “You ate all of me? How? I don’t understand? My entire body?” Armin sighed, “No, I ate your heart.”


	94. Armin and Erwin Prt 1

Armin's legs burned and his gear was heavy as he trudged through the mud through the forest of burnt trees and darkness. They were still out there and they were going to find them in only a matter of time. He didn't know if Erwin would recover enough to fight but he hoped he could at least move him by dawn. Maybe he could build a boat? Maybe one was left and.... "Yes!" He exclaimed into the silence. David had a smaller boat he kept under his house, the only one left. They could take it, catch up to where they were all going to anchor and restock. It was a small island, barely one, and they had agreed to go there if anything ever happened to regroup and plan.

Armin reached the cabin door, pushing it open to the smell of sickness and fire, "Armin?" Armin was just so happy to see him alive. After they spoke, mutual feelings finally revealed after so long, Armin washed Erwin with cool water and lavender. “At the end of the world.” They exchanged sweet smiles and made small talk. But that's when Erwin finally asked him.

"Where are Levi and Eren?" Armin's hand stilled, tears welled up, his best friend was dead. He was dead and so was Levi. Erwin started to cry to, "Okay. I get it. Please don’t cry, Armin. I can’t handle your tears, can’t handle such a sadness as that." Armin sobbed laying his head on Erwin’s chest, "I'm so sorry. I couldn’t save them." Erwin frowned, "You have nothing to be sorry for. You warned this might happen. We only got away because of it. The boats were your idea." "They died because I wasn't smart enough and never thought they'd burn the fields and forest. My God, did I learn nothing from the hollow spaces in the wall…" Erwin thought about, "Next time we know." Armin was somewhat comforted by that as he let his head rest on Erwin's chest. Erwin reached out slowly stroking his hair.

“Where….oh no, the coordinate.” “Is safe.” Armin dreaded this, he was plagued by what he had done and he didn’t actually know if that was true. Had his instinct been correct? “How do you know that?” Armin lifted his head, “You’ll hate me.” “What did you do?” Armin looked absolutely pitiful, “Levi had been shot, cut, it was horrible. His leg was gone and he had cut Eren from his titan form, lopping off legs and arms to get him out. Eren was dying, Levi was just…holding him and crying and it was so horrible but something in me took over when I realized that saving Eren was hopeless. I just felt this urge to secure the coordinate so before he died I…” Erwin moved his hand to wipe his tear. He was selfishly hoping that Levi would walk through the door but it seemed he’d died with his lover, at least Erwin now could do the same. “ate his heart while he was still alive. His eyes, Erwin…they opened as I started but then he made this understanding smile…such an acceptance that it will haunt me. Levi wept so hard, voice gurgling from blood in his lungs. I will never forget it.” “You ate only his heart? “I also managed to get some of his spinal fluid after he died.” “How?” Erwin felt the wind get knocked out of him, “How did you do this?” “With the swords.” “I see….and Levi let you?” “He understood but…he…was driven insane by it and I think I might have been too.”

*********************

Erwin remembered the day he found out they were together. He had just declared that they would retake wall Maria in two days. The woods nearby called him and he went on a walk towards the small pond as the sun was setting. The golden and amber rays of light filtered through the trees and he felt peaceful and calm. Lilacs grew in the fields and he walked out off the path towards the large bent tree children could swing off into the lake on. That’s when he heard something strange on the other side of two rather large bushes and he walked over to them, parting them and seeing Eren. 

He was shirtless, tan skin shinning from sweat, leather straps removed from his torso and hanging off his hips, his shoes were off and it looked like he had gone for a swim. He had purpling marks on his side that caught Erwin’s eye as he watched him stand there, fingers pulling at the hem of his pants. He bent over wiping the dirt from his pants when he heard Erwin clear his through, snapping his head back to see him. It was the sheer panic he saw in his eyes that made Erwin interested. What was so bad about swimming on your free time? He stepped forward, “Eren, its fine. You’re off duty.” Eren stuttered, “C-ccomander Erwin, I was just…” he started to pull his shirt on, back turned to Erwin, neck blushing pink. Yes, Erwin was very interested now. “Eren, what is the matter with you?” He said curiously and amusedly. 

A snap of a branch as Levi emerged from inside the wooded area. He was also wet and shirtless, pants and boots in his hand, his eyes wide. Erwin knew everything he needed to know by Levi’s face. It told him, “I know what you see and if you touch him or hurt him I will kill you where you stand.” Erwin was honestly a little shocked that this was what he had stumbled on but with him knowledge was always power. Such a gaping weakness for Levi was almost unimaginable. He smiled ruefully at Levi, who’s eyes narrowed. Eren was stunned, terrified. “Is there a problem?” Levi challenged as Erwin moved one step back preparing to turn around, “No, not at all. Is it serious?” Levi’s face faltered for only a second and Erwin felt victorious. He pushed it enjoying Levi’s cringe, “is it?” 

Levi didn’t move meaning that they hadn’t discussed it. Eren turned his face to Levi looking for an answer. He must not know if Levi’s serious about him either. How long had he been with Levi and not known where they stood? Ages, he’d guess. Since he claimed responsibility for him, he’d wager. Oh, this was most interesting. “Yes, it is. If you have a problem with it then you’ll just have to deal with it or you can show me where this breaks the rules. You won’t punish him for it if it does. I’m older and I will take responsibility.” Erwin smiled so wide his face hurt, “It breaks no rule. I was simply curious. You’ve kept such as this from me, your closest friend,” Levi tched glaring, “and I am wounded. But,” he cast a glance to a squirming Eren, he made sure to drag the pause out so both would become uncomfortable, “Congratulations you two. I wish you all the best.” He turned to walk off back towards camp. He had enjoyed that and he really was happy about them.

Later in his office Levi appeared at the door, “I need to talk to you.” Erwin looked up from his paperwork, “By all means do come in a sit.” Levi shut the door locking it, “Now you know.” Erwin smirked devilishly, “Now, I know.” Levi sat down in the chair, crossing his legs and arms leaned to the side, “So, I have a lover. It’s done wonders for releasing stress and making life more livable. Perhaps, you should find one to.” Erwin’s smirk faltered, “I don’t need a lover. I’m an old man.” Levi’s eye brow rose, “You tell that story about Marie often. I wonder, was she your perfect woman?” Erwin stilled as he looked at Levi.

“You came to play a game of fire.” Levi smirked and it was so devious it made him shudder, “Who will be burned, Commander? You or me?” Erwin leaned back, “I cared deeply for Marie.” Levi tched, “Lie.” Erwin’s eyes narrowed, “It is not.” “That’s another lie.” “How so?” Levi looked downright sinister and pleased with himself, “Because you don’t even like women.” _Oh, there it was. His little secret was out._ “You are wrong.” Levi smiled dashingly, “We agreed to never lie to one another so stop. You tell that story because it keeps the lines of female cadets at bay because they think she broke your heart and it also gives them hope that you might love them. You work that angle so well, Commander Handsome. Even armless you’re a dreamboat and you know it. So, here’s what I think.” Erwin stewed, he hated him, “Do tell.” “You’ve had a crush on Arlert for a long time, since he appeared really. I’ve seen it and watched as he grew on you.”

Erwin didn’t like this game. It was common knowledge Armin was with Jean and had been since he save his life. Levi had Eren from day one with his need to please and obsession with Levi Humanity’s Strongest. “Armin Arlert is a wonderful person with great talent and qualities but he is also in a relationship with Jean Kirschstein. It would not matter what my feelings were due to their established relationship.” Levi grinned, “So, you are admitting that you are in love with Armin?” Erwin recoiled, “How did you make the jump from crush to love? That is not what I am saying. I’m saying this discussion is for naught because the point is moot.” Levi leaned back, “What if I told you he might have eyes for Jean but he keeps one in the peripheral?” 

Erwin was intrigued, “Come again?” Levi put his boots on Erwin’s desk, “You’re who he keeps always in his sights. Defended you since day one and especially when we tried to catch the female titan. He kept a mutiny off your hands.” Erwin had heard. He hadn’t had it confirmed till now though. Armin seemed to always be on the same page as him but he was also jumping ahead and leading Erwin in many ways. “You enjoy him. That’s why you should keep him around. But you’re afraid to bring him closer. Because you don’t want anyone knowing just how much you enjoy Armin Arlert.” Erwin frowned, annoyed at how spot on Levi was, “Who are you? My Lee wouldn’t waste time on such as this petty child schoolyard romance matchmaking game.” Levi stood up, “I just want you to be happy.” Erwin frowned, “I am. Now, leave and spend time with Eren. The advance is in two days and I’m swamped.” 

The next morning, bright and early there was a knock at his door. He was angry and had only had an hour of sleep if that. He was running on nothing and the pressure made his back so tight he wanted to scream. He opened the door to his room which was also his office, since he’d never use a bedroom otherwise, and expected to see Hanji or Levi. Instead it was the bright blue eyes and golden hair of Armin Arlert, “Commander,” his voice was sweet like the trill of birds, _thank the goddesses for this creature before me,_ “I’m reporting for duty.” 

Erwin blinked, “What?” Armin frowned, nose scrunched up cutely, “I’m reporting for duty. Captain Levi said I am to assist you in all preparations today and tonight until the advance. I have off for the dinner tomorrow but nothing else. I’m to not leave your side.” Erwin wanted to find Levi and strangle him but secretly he was so into this and it shamed him, “I don’t really need any help.” He replied abruptly. He couldn’t risk being alone with him. “Go away. That’s an order.” He made to shut the door but Armin’s boot stopped the door from closing. Erwin was surprised. Armin looked terrified, “If it’s all the same to you I’d rather sweep your room for these two days to not have Captain think I didn’t follow orders.” He peeked inside, “What are saying? This place is a wreck. You have plenty to do.” Armin pushed past a very shocked Erwin, _when did he get so determined?_ He felt himself smirk. He always enjoyed figuring people out and Armin wasn’t all that bad to look at while doing just that.

Armin sat at his desk and started to work as Erwin sat on the other side and did the same thing. They were each very quiet but Armin was alive, he must have slept well. He saw the small bruising on his neck and knew that he’d probably not only slept but had some fun with Jean in the stables. Why the stables was everyone’s go-to for sex he would never understand. Those things the horses must have seen. Armin’s fingers folded paper and held pens with care as Erwin watched, passively interested in his own tasks. He was wearing a soft sky blue cotton shirt, three buttons un-tucked on the collar, his skin was so white and pure with an occasional freckle here and there when the shirt moved so he could see it. His hair was clean, washed last night probably. Erwin felt himself relax as the minutes passed.

When Erwin woke up he was on his bed, tucked in nicely. He heard Armin humming, singing softly to himself, “ Es führt über den Main eine Brücke von Stein. Wer darüber will gehn, muss im Tanze sich drehn. Kommt ein Fuhrmann daher hat geladen gar schwer. Seine Rösser sind drei, und sie tanzen vorbei. Und ein Bursch ohne Schuh und in Lumpen dazu, als die Brücke er sah, ei, wie tanzte er da.“ (Over the Main there is a bridge of stone and whoever wishes to go across it must dance in a circle. A Carter comes, his cart is heavy and hard to pull. His horses are three, and they dance nearby. A lad without shoes clothed in rags, when he saw the bridge he too started to dance with them.) Erwin turned over, “Where is that from?” Armin jerked, startled, “I’m not sure. I’ve just…always known it from when I was a kid.” Erwin smiled, “Would you sing more?” Armin blushed, “A-are you sure?” 

Erwin gripped the sheets around him, he’d not felt this calm in a long time, “Yes,” he smiled, “I am.” Armin smiled softly, standing up, “Okay, I’ll sing but only if you do something for me.” Erwin gave him a suspicious look, “What?” Armin blushed, “Let me take care of you today and tomorrow.” Erwin frowned, “What? I don’t need a nurse.” Armin sighed, “Commander, you’re not well. You need to rest. We’d only been working an hour and you fell over exhausted. I tucked you in and your stomach was growling.” Erwin was embarrassed, “So, I had Sasha bring us food for when you woke up, I’m finished with all the paper work and filing, I gave tasks out and many have reported back that they are finished, I also had Levi clean the stables.” Erwin sat up, “You what!?” Armin smirked and it took his breath away, “Because you clearly were unaware he’d asked me to come. I figured a little payback would be fine.”

Erwin couldn’t contain himself from laughing, “Oh, Armin, that’s perfect. He loves cleaning, though.” “I paired him with Connie and when I knew it’d be in use, if you know what I mean.” Erwin did and he thought that was perfect, he also wondered what Armin would think if he knew he wanted to do those things with him here, in this room, and not in those dirty stables, “How did you get the paperwork done and divvy out tasks? That takes my signature.” Armin didn’t even act shameful, “I forged it. It was for the best, really. I simply answered as I would have thought you would have.” Erwin couldn’t deny Armin’s brashness showed guts and was a mirror to himself. He also noticed that he was still wearing his same soft cotton shirt and he could make out of other edges of Armin’s muscles beneath it.

Armin knew he was being brash but he couldn’t deny that being this close to Erwin wasn’t intoxicating. He was powerful, strong, handsome, and intelligent. He felt like he would never even be half the man he was nor good enough for him. He also felt guilty. Jean and he, they were together but there was just this pull to Erwin he’d always had. Jean knew it, had to know it. He marked him up last night knowing he’d be coming here today. “Here’s your food, sir.” Erwin’s mouth ran away from him, “Erwin.” Armin’s hand stilled, “What?” _Well, fuck it,_ “Just Erwin, when we’re like this. It’s…I owe you for today, Armin. You’ve managed to do more than I ever could and well, haha, that’s kind of sending me into a midlife crisis because I may not be suited for this anymore.” Armin’s body jerked from the shock, “Sir, Erwin, no. Don’t say such. I am nothing compared to you. I just had fresh eyes and more energy. I should be doing more.” Both men were quiet until Armin gathered his food and gave it to him.

Erwin and Armin sat together and talked as he ate. He had Armin sing a few more songs and encouraged him to do so around him whenever. Towards the end of the day he asked Armin if he would go over strategy with him that night. Dinner was brought in and they spent the night discussing all their options. Erwin watched the rise and fall of his chest as he laid on the edge of the bed. He had collapsed after dawn and Erwin wrapped a blanket around him and laid his head on a pillow. Sharing a bed this size wasn’t an issue. It was the one comfort Erwin had here. He was so close yet so far away.

Armin woke and went to the communal bathroom and not Erwin’s. He was shocked Erwin let him sleep in his bed and for so long, it was almost time for the dinner. He walked back to his barracks, they’d be having a special dinner that night with meat and he needed to change into something that didn’t smell like Erwin’s bedding. Jean was waiting for him, “Armin, how was it?” Armin shrugged, “It’s going to be what it’s going to be. But, I think that…” Armin shrugged, Jean began, “There’s hope?” After a while he offered smiling reassuringly, “come on, Armin, give me something positive.” Armin smiled moving to embrace him and kiss his cheek, “Yeah, there’s hope, Jean.” 

The attempt to retake Maria was successful. Now, they needed to prepare to leave the walls and do so quickly and quietly. There were those who wanted them to stay and repopulate within the wall but Levi insisted that they leave. Levi and Erwin both came to conclusions after the things in the basement were revealed and they’d never been more in sync. Erwin came to Armin’s barrack one morning, “Armin, I have a request.” Armin stopped folding in the corners of his bed, his stomach full of butterflies, “Yes, sir?” Erwin had hoped to hear his name but they were in public and he knew Armin would not make the mistake, “I need an assistant, a right hand. Hanji is the next in line but you’re after them. Because you’re so important I would like you to aid me in our Exodus.” Erwin was a selfish man and he did need the help, but it was the moment he gave Armin control during the mission that he realized that he was hopelessly in love with him and wanted to be as near to him as possible for as long as possible. 

Armin was beyond excited and shocked. He forgot himself, running towards Erwin to embrace him, smiling wide and freely, small giggle escaping, “Sir, thank you so much I would be honored.” Erwin didn’t move. He wanted to embrace him back but he was without an arm and they were in public. Maybe Levi was right, maybe he wanted people to think they had a chance with him and he couldn’t express favoritism. Maybe he thought that since he was a broken soldier he wasn’t worth Armin or even worth hugging him. Jean had two arms, young, honest, a good worker. He was much better for him. Erwin’s arm patted him on the back and pushed him to the side, “Armin, you start today. Report to my office and bring comfortable clothes. We’ll work into the night.” Armin nodded turning to get his things, _I’ll be around him from now on for as long….as long as he’ll let me._ Armin thought about Jean and paused. It was only a second till he started packing again, his excitement outweighed his guilt.

Armin was accosted by Levi and Eren a few days later at lunch. He had been eating meals in Erwin’s tent and Jean finally put his foot down about spending more time together. Jean had just been called away, kissing him, and promising to return with a surprise. Eren slid in beside him, as soon as he was gone, “I see you’ve been spending a lot of time with the Commander. Eating meals together, sometimes you don’t come back to our bunk or Jeans…” Eren grinned as Armin looked away, “Shut up, Eren.” Levi’s eyes were hawkish, trained don him, small smirk in the corner of his mouth, “How does Jean like that, shefeleh?” Armin was blushing, Levi was too much, “He’s fine. It’s fine. Nothing is going on…” Armin trailed off quietly and Levi smirked, his voice smug, knowing, **“Oh, but you _wish_ it _was._ ” **Armin stood up, “Hush!” Levi laughed as he walked off. Ere, just felt bad for him and Jean. It was clear that Erwin was a better match but he wished it could resolve itself in a good or ideal way. Levi’s hand darted across the table, he kissed his hand, “Brat,” his voice commanding, “What I wanted to tell you this morning was…that I love you.” Eren nearly died. “I love you, too.”

Weeks went by outside of the walls. Their plans were to build cities, outposts, and kill titans. When they found a map, hinting at a previous settlement, they headed there. Eren had found a way to control the coordinate to some degree and they were able to disperse titans and make them submissive enough to kill them. He was still learning and perfecting everything and Levi was right there with him. Everyone knew of them soon enough there was a ceremony of sorts, small and strange with traditions of Levi’s people that brightened the cheeks and warmed the hearts of those traveling with them. By the time they reached the sea, everyone was ready to settle down for a long while. Eren managed to sift through his father’s information and free them from the cloud around their origins. Inside the walls, the Reiss family was under the watchful eye of the Queen and all was well again. Well, until Erwin became king.


	95. Armin and Erwin Prt 2

They stayed in silence for a while until Erwin's stomach rumbled. Armin got up going through the motions and making him stew out of what was left. He sat back down feeding it to him, slowly with care. Erwin watched him like he was afraid he'd disappear, "You're truly magnificent, Armin. So beautiful there are no words." Armin blushed, "Thank you, sir." Erwin rolled over, “Please no more sir. I love how you say my name.” Armin blushed more, “Erwin.” The night went on, dawn began and the fear that the cabin would be found or titans would come near made Armin's mind spin, _how can I get a sick Erwin to the boat without being noticed?_ Erwin opened his feverish eyes, "drag me." Armin jerked, "What?" "Drag me. I know what you're thinking and you can’t carry me all that way so just drag me." Armin smiled, Erwin’s being right made him self-conscious, "Wrong, I'm thinking about how handsome you are." Erwin managed a smirk, "liar." 

Armin wasn’t going to give up, "I might be able to ride with you. I'll have to find a horse. Hopefully, Jean's will come." Erwin’s body went hot thinking of Jean, "He didn't take it?" Armin shook his head, "It got spooked and ran off because of the fire." Erwin thought that made sense, "Oh, then it should be back in the stables waiting for him or you." Armin smiled, "I'll go see. If it’s there I’m going to bring it back and we’re going to leave." He got up, putting his gear back on before he heard it, "Armin," he turned to look at Erwin, "I love you." Armin smiled brightly, that was all he ever wanted to hear from him, "I love you." He left for the stables while Erwin thought of all of the things that could go wrong. 

Armin got to the stables and Jean’s horse was there eating hay. His own had been shot, stray bullet missing him by inches and hitting it. It had been a painful thing, that horse was a gift from Erwin, a beautiful young filly with a unique pattern. Jean had drooled over it, he didn’t even care that it came from Erwin. Instead, he and Erwin discussed it at length. He stroked Jean's horse hoping he was well, safe, and could one day forgive him. It wasn’t fair. He lived in Marco's shadow and he made him live in Erwin's. But they had loved a real and true love and he had meant it, perhaps in another life or at least he could have Marco. 

Armin got the horse and hurried back to the cabin. He packed the saddle bags and backpack full of necessities for Erwin, for them. Getting him on the horse would have been too hard if he hadn't lost so much weight. Levi and Eren stayed on him about eating when he first became ill but Hanji said loss of appetite was to be expected. For the first time everyone had enough to eat and Armin dreaded leaving their town. He dreaded leaving Erwin's kingdom. Erwin’s ascending to the throne had revealed just how precarious their freedom had been and Armin was enraged now that he understood it. They had been lied to, nothing had been under control. **Why were they always being played!?**

Erwin had heard the door open. He'd tried to move off the bed on his own but it was slow going. He'd be the death of Armin and he wouldn't allow it. He put his knife in his pocket, ready to end himself if Armin would not leave him and they were in danger. Armin moved forward wrapping Erwin in new and better clothes, "Let's go." He smiled and Erwin was left breathless at the sight of his beautiful face. He leaned forward to kiss him, not their first, but the first one they felt good about. He'd crossed the line with Armin when they got here, made it so he couldn't be his assistant anymore.

Jean knew he was monopolizing his time, always calling for him and he gave thank yous that were too extravagant like flowers and books they'd found. Armin was working late one night at Erwin’s house when Erwin disappeared, "Armin could you come here?" He stood up walking to him in his bedroom. Erwin had a nice house, they all did. Nice because they were their own and they were free standing and made differently than those in the walls. He entered and saw Erwin, bottle in hand, "come drink with me." Armin rarely drank but there was something about Erwin that made him give in, "What is it?" "Something dark. It’s like wine but not. Drink it with me and help me figure it out." Armin was going to leave for the kitchen when Erwin’s hand stopped him, "I have glasses in here. Sit with me by the window, it's nice."

Armin turned back walking with him over to the small plush bench beneath his window that looked out towards the stream that ran behind his house. Erwin and Armin talked for what seemed like forever about the books they’d been given by David, Mikasa’s husband. “There was one that said in the beginning all people were created in twos, connected at the back.” Armin began, drunk and cheeks pink, “that the Gods made them like that and then separated them so they could live better lives. That’s why when people fall in love they’ve found their other half.” Erwin chuckled, “That’s a very interesting concept.”

Erwin had moved closer to Armin who was a bit dizzy. Erwin’s hand reached out to move a strand of hair from his face, “Come here.” He murmured and it sounded so appealing that Armin didn’t realize just how dangerous it was. He smiled shyly, “Why?” Erwin moved till he was right next to him, Armin pressed against the side of the window, “Because there’s something in your eye.” Armin ducked his head shyly as Erwin’s hand caressed his cheek, it swiped under his eye, “See, it’s an eyelash.” Erwin had it on the end of his thumb where Armin couldn’t see because he was so focused on Erwin how close he’d gotten and how dashing he was. 

Armin could barely breathe as Erwin moved even closer, forehead against Armin’s, noses brushing against one another, breath mingling, and Armin felt so hot and then Erwin started to devour him. His lips covered his and he audibly inhaled so much so that Armin though that his soul would be sucked from his body. His hands griped him, so strongly it bruised, and he lifted Armin up like he weighed nothing taking him over to his bed and throwing him down. He moved to cover his body, lips and tongue and teeth and limbs tangling. Erwin was intoxicated on more than liquor; he never wanted this to end. Armin felt the same but as Erwin’s fingers made their way to the hem of his pants and the zipper he had a moment of clarity./p>

He pushed Erwin back, breaking their long heavy kiss. He was panting, “No, we, we can’t.” Erwin was hurt, his ego bruised, drunk Erwin didn’t understand the reasons behind it. How could he be kissing him and not feel this, feel them? “What?!” Armin crawled backwards from beneath him, “Because Jean, and….I can’t do this. It’s just,” “IT’S JUST SEX! IT DOESN’T MEAN ANYTHING!” _Why am I yelling? I don’t mean that. It does mean something to me. Doesn’t he feel this?_ It didn’t matter, he’d fucked up. Armin’s face was red from anger not alcohol, “IT DOES TO ME!” Armin screeched back crawling backwards and onto the other side and then he left and Erwin followed him as far as the door, calling out loudly and panicked, “Armin! ARMIN!” _Why did I fuck this up? Why did I destroy this?_

Jean never found out and Erwin was ashamed. Armin told him they’d crossed a line and that he could no longer be his personal assistant. He became Hanji’s and they managed to keep a cordial relationship. Erwin wasn’t stupid, though he felt like it at this moment. He knew that Armin was giving him a wide birth and it pained him. Armin sometimes gave him glances, heavy ones and he longed to reach out and touch him but it was because of him that he had ruined his chance.

“It does to me.” Erwin now knew that if he had just been upfront with Armin that they might be together. He wasn’t saying no because he wasn’t interested. He was being responsible, he was telling Erwin that he had a responsibility to Jean and he was telling him that if they had sex it would mean much more than just sex. He was telling them that there was hope for something more and his own ego destroyed it because Erwin was vulnerable and thought he was being attacked so he lashed out and ruined everything. 

He watched as the seasons changed marking the third year they’d been in their newly established village. Jean and Armin were thinking of taking in one of the orphans, raising them like a family together. Jean was a leader and horse breeder. Erwin was very bitter though he tried not to be. Armin grew more and more handsome, smarter, he was leaving on expeditions, creating plans, Hanji was even in awe and thought that maybe they might be able to slow down and they had had a baby after the first year with Levi and it was strange but it was good.

Eren and Levi co-parented with them and it worked out nicely. Erwin was a godfather to many of the children in the village but he enjoyed the little girl most of all because she was so close to him personally. He was king but to her he was uncle Erwin and he was the best ever. He often smiled that the thought of her. Armin doted on her and often kept her in his arms while they all worked. He’d pass her to Erwin and it was his favorite moment, fingers brushing against others. Armin and he walked around one another, danced with one another.

He found that Armin conveniently took a walk near his house at the same time when Erwin drank his coffee on his porch. He also knew when Armin would be heading to David’s house to get new books and he would sometimes be there doing the same thing. They also tended to pull the same hours when they had to work at the communal office; he noted that Armin did not sit far away from him and that sometimes he would allow Erwin to dust off a fallen twig even if they’d been indoors for hours. He was grateful for anything he got.

Armin was all he thought about, day and night. Levi was just as disappointed as he, love had made him soft and vulnerable too. Eren said that Armin never talked with him about it and he felt that it was because he knew Levi would report back to Erwin. But, Eren was always frank that he thought that Erwin was the better fit. It didn’t matter. Apparently, Armin had kept Erwin in his heart and now he was lugging him on top of a very anxious horse. “Okay, and we’re off.” He got the horse moving and Erwin rest his head on his back, “You smell so good.” Armin smirked, “Like sugar and sunshine.” 

They were coming around the bend almost to David’s house when he heard the birds go silent, “That’s not good.” Erwin looked around, “Not at all. The titans.” “I thought Eren had destroyed most of them.” “Nothing’s easy, Armin. Nothing.” Armin gave the horse a few taps and it started to gallop. He feared Erwin might fall off but he held on tightly and soon they were at David’s. The boat was hidden, Armin had to dismount to look for it under the house.

Erwin felt it, that charge in the air, “Armin, please hurry.” Armin found the boat but it was hard getting it out from the small porch it was under, “I’m doing the best I can.” Erwin felt utterly useless, “Armin, they’re close.” He removed his knife, “If they come up on us then leave me, take the boat and GO!” Armin ripped the boat out, spurred on by the sight of the knife, “If you’re even thinking about killing yourself I will curse you, I will curse you Erwin Smith, don’t you fucking dare. A king doesn’t give up.” “Kings sometimes fall on their swords.” “NOT YOU.” He hooked the boat to the ropes and started to climb on the horse and not a moment too soon.

The foot came out of nowhere, the titan slow and sluggish, newly made. It crushed the branches and Jean’s horse whinnied and ran towards the trail that led to the water. Erwin bounced but Armin kept his elbows down over his arm pinning him to him. They got to the curb and there were people on foot, smaller titans, humans, working together. It was insanity and Armin now had to get the boat untied, into the water, Erwin inside, the saddle bags, and get in and away himself. 

She was there and she was on a horse, “ARMIN! GIVE IT UP!” Armin whipped his head forward, “Never.” Erwin let out a bark of an ironic laugh, “My thoughts exactly.” Armin skidded the horse to a stop, he nearly broke his leg getting off, he took Erwin’s knife, “I can’t believe you, idiot man, pain in my ass,” he hissed as he cut the ropes on the boat. Erwin braced himself and tumbled off the horse to save time. He felt horrible, so horrible. Armin was groaning as he pushed the boat into the water, “Erwin sit up so I can grab you.” So many titans, so many people all coming down the hill. Armin grabbed Erwin who had cleverly released the saddle and bags when he fell. Armin got him in the boat, a bullet hitting him in the shoulder.

Armin screamed forcing them into the water as they came after them. He took the oars, frantically rowing as they stated to make way. Some of the people stopped, they were afraid of the water and the smaller human sized titans started to drown as they were unable to swim. Armin started to laugh manically, hysterically at the insanity around them. Erwin’s face a mirror of horror and disbelief, _were they really getting away?_

Impossible. The larger titans merely walked into the water and at the rate they were going they would get to them in no time. Armin started to cry as the titan’s waves shook their boat, water rushing in and threatening to capsize them. He cried and Erwin reached over, “At least I got to see your face.” “This is the end of the world, isn’t it.” Armin sobbed as the titans surrounded them in the water. Erwin gave him a sad look, “I think it is. This is it, Armin. I am so glad to have known you. I am so glad to know that you loved me.” The titan scream, her orders being yelled, it was so ungodly this end they were having.

Armin looked at Erwin, “No.” Erwin merely stared, “No?” Armin looked around and he felt inside of him this welling of energy, of strength and he just let it go, let it grow, this feeling of power, these memories, and then there was Eren’s face, his smile, _you can use this better than me, Armin. I love you. Thank you for showing me the sea._ Levi’s words, _Shefeleh, live and never regret anything. Thank you for telling me stories, for being my friend._ _NO! NO! NO! NOT LIKE THIS! LIFE FEEDS ON LIFE FEEDS ON LIFE FEEDS ON NOT MY LIFE NOT THIS ONE NOT THIS WORLD NOT HIM NOT US NOT THIS WAY I DON’T ACCEPT THIS I WILL NOT ACCEPT THIS_ Armin turned to the titans and to her, standing in the boat, he screamed a titan’s scream of, **“I REFUSE TO DIE!”**

And it was like a white blinding light inside of him and he was lost in it, in this infinite universe. All he had to do was will it and it would be so. No more titans and never again. Never would there be these monstrous giants, never again. He couldn’t end it all; the coordinate was supposed to belong to Eren. But he could make it so that they were better prepared. He willed it all, willed that they would all get a second chance to fix it, to save the world, to finish it once in for all. Blood, reincarnation, memories, titans, never again, once more, life feeds on life, a circle, _whoever wants to go over the bridge must dance in a circle,_ he willed that they would live.

And it was so. **Beit** The titans returned to steam, the waves left in their wake gave them enough of a push to get away, the fires of the forest ragged on, their town was gone but the king lived and so did the coordinate. Eren and Levi were there, he could feel them, waiting for them. Armin blacked out and it was then that all of the information, all of the memories washed over him again and he was omnipotent till he woke.

Armin felt the warmth of the blanket over him when he came to. The island wasn’t that large but there was a small cabin they had repaired and inside with a fire and supplies he laid. How did they get here? How did Erwin manage with one arm? Erwin was cooking, his shirt off and pants, “Armin, my prince, you are awake.” He turned smiling brightly, “What you did…I cannot describe with words. Eat.” He brought over part of the meal, “They’re gone…it’s just us.” Armin was sad, he’d held out hope, “That’s fine. I’m too tired for questions.” Erwin smiled, “I figured.”

They stayed on the island almost a month, plenty of supplies and Erwin’s sickness subsided. In their spare time they talked and made love. Erwin’s body moved in mysterious ways that must come from age and experience because it left Armin breathless and stunned each time. He would wake up in the morning to Erwin pressing kisses to his neck, hard cock rubbing along the cleft of his ass, hand smoothing over his lower stomach and tweaking his sensitive nipples, “Armin,” he would whisper hotly, “wake up. Let me show you something.” He would chuckle darkly, rumble in his chest making Armin shudder as he pressed against his back. Armin would keen and whimper as Erwin opened him up, moved inside of him, held him, the things he said to him and called him, “Cadet Arlert, you seem flustered,” he licked along the shell oh his ear, “is there something wrong? Tell your superior what’s wrong or you’ll be punished.” Erwin knew he was gone when he made small noises in his throat, noises of submission and frustration, “I see, failure to answer your commander will result in severe punishment.” 

Armin liked being punished by him, he liked it when Erwin tied him up in the straps of their uniform, when he withheld release, when he told him what to do and how to lay and present himself. He also loved when Erwin was kind and worshiped him body, kissing every inch, holding him, brining his to completion over and over till Armin was boneless and sated. It was three weeks of bliss and three weeks of love. As they packed the boat preparing to cast off, Erwin paused to walk over and take Armin’s face between his hands, “Marry me.” Armin giggled, leaning up on his tippy toes to press a chaste kiss on his lips, “Fool,” he moved to finish checking everything, “Why is that foolish?” “Because, we already are in my book.” Erwin snorted, “I need to get you a ring.” Armin shook his head and rolled his eyes, “Yeah, whatever.” 

Erwin went to the shore and looked for a shell. He found one, it was pretty and not too large. He took a knife, made a hole and put it on a silk white ribbon that was a rarity and only was on the island because Levi had bought his daughter ribbons from traders that came from inside the wall. He walked back over, “Here’s your ring.” Armin paused, “Erwin…that’s so sweet.” He pulled it on, “You’re my husband.” Erwin smiled, “I’m your husband.” Armin’s nose scrunched up, smirk at the corner of his lips, “So now that we’re married I control everything.” Erwin laughed, “That’s right.” They pushed off and set sell for their people and their future, coordinate inside of Armin’s beating heart. 


	96. Milkshake Fatherhood

Levi woke tangled in Armin, his head pounded, he could barely breathe, nose stopped up, throat sore, eyes red from fever. He curled around Armin who made soft hums of noise as he moved to get comfortable. Eren was on top of Erwin's chest, mouth open, drool, _He was always drooling in his sleep that adorable animal._ He told Levi it was because he was dreaming about cute animals. Armin woke up, "Velvel, you're sick." Levi snorted, "Yeah."

Eren and Erwin needed to go places and do things, mostly important. Armin volunteered to play nurse while Erwin and Eren agreed to meet up at Leap Frogs and take Mila. Levi groaned at the thought of not getting to take Mila. He made Eren promise to take pictures and he promised he would. He changed into his animal clinic clothes. He was doing practical hours and was going to be gone a lot. Levi hated the thought. Erwin seemed to be up to something and Armin was just as suspicious as to what, digging for information as he sat in his lap, legs around his waist and hands on his shoulders, puppy dog eyes and pouts. He tried to kiss the information out of Erwin but it was for not. He would not be outdone.

Armin made cold compacts, picked up sinus medication, and rubbed vix all over his chest. Levi laid in his bed as Armin started doing his daily chores. He enjoyed listening to him sing through the house. He returned with matzo ball chicken soup for lunch. "How did you make this?" Armin sat down prepared to feed him, "I found the recipe in your box of recipes. Here, I hope it's good." Levi ate some, he moaned, "I can barely taste anything but I can taste this and you made it perfectly. Like my mothers, HaShem this is great." Levi started coughing and Armin fed him the rest, "It’s not fair that you're sick." Levi frowned, "Yeah, tell me about it." Armin’s voice was pouty and playful, "We got interrupted the other day and Erwin and Eren had their fun. Sick Velvel can't play." Levi snickered, "No, he really can’t. But, soon…maybe.” 

Armin moved around, finished his school work, and looked online at things while sitting in the chaise lounge of Levi's room. He groaned, moaned, wiggled and squirmed around as his hay fever got worse and worse. Armin eventually climbed in beside him after he got the chills. Levi was really sick and it amazed Armin how well he doing because Eren tended to complain and so did Erwin. They both were big babies and Armin and Levi had to do for them. It was their role; they were the wives in this. It kind of pissed him off but he didn't really care. Commander jumped up on the bed snuggling next to him as Levi coughed roughly, "Can we watch Archer?" Armin nodded changing the channel as he wrapped around Levi.

The next few hours went by and then Levi turned around, "I like you." He murmured keeping his eyes closed. His voice was softer, sickly, but round and smooth and deep and beautiful. _He likes me._ Armin found that amusing, "Well," he began happily, "That's sweet because I _love_ you." He smiled cheesy and sugary as Levi stilled, "Mmm interesting." Armin studied his face, "How so?" Levi didn't respond and Armin went back to massaging him and trying to will him better. Levi was too tired and Armin didn’t care for an answer immediately as long as he let him hold him.

***************8

Eren arrived at Hanji's when Erwin did. They would take Mila to Leap Frogs, an indoor play park for children that Levi liked and said was clean enough. Erwin felt odd, he'd never had Mila away just himself or with someone other than Levi or Armin. Eren hadn't kept Mila alone either or without Levi or Armin. Levi and Armin were missing, the two most responsible and uptight babysitters and now the fun sprinkle covered hooligans were left to their own devices. Hanji seemed to realize this too as they hesitantly handed their daughter over.. Eren slapped his hand on his shoulder, "Its fine, Erwin. We can do this. They're lame and were the fun ones so this will be so easy." Erwin smiled, "You're right. Its all going to be fine." It was not going to be fine at all.

Three hours later Eren was covered in vomit, there was milkshake all over the car, Mila was wearing a plastic bag as a diaper and Erwin and Eren were on the side of the road staring at a cracked windshield, van up the road on fire. Eren's pants were covered in stickers and Erwin's feet were bleeding, his shoes gone.

It started when they got to Leap Frogs. Eren and Erwin were regarded suspiciously, not because they looked to be a same sex married couple, no, in fact, they seemed to pass for lovers just fine, but because Levi was almost always with Mila here and Erwin that they soon were accosted by nosy mothers that wanted to know if the break up was hard on Mila. Eren put Mila down so she could play as he and Erwin fended off the harassment. It just went downhill from there.

Hanji had given them a bag and unbeknownst to them it was not full of kid friendly things. Instead, one mother noticed the handle of a vibrator and turned to the other mothers in horror. These men were sexual deviants, the rumor spread itself like wildfire and housewife gossip. How fallen was Erwin now without the dark headed man with cool blue eyes and Lysol wipes on the ready. They chastised Erwin who upon looking in the bag revealed a Hodge-podge of adult toys, stickers, and gold fish. In Hanji's defense, they had been so rushed to prepare for Owen and his wife that they had shoved things in one of Mila's two baby bags and this just happened to be the one they chose out of the closet today, sleep deprived and hungry as they were when the got there to pick her up. But at this moment all Erwin could do as the mothers collectively gasped was think, "Fuck Hanji what is wrong with you?"

Erwin was asked by an isistant Mila for her stickers and then she proceeded to place them all over Eren’s legs, unbeknownst to him, as Eren explained that he and Levi were married and Erwin and Levi were just friends. The women didn’t buy it and word around the juice bar was that this Eren was an exotic dancer unprepared to be a housewife and had put the toys in the bag for fun at the playground bathroom. They worried about the type of life choices he’d had and would he force Mila into a life of pursuing older men and pole dancing? They did want his legs, though. 

About an hour into their visit Eren noticed a little boy pushing Mila down. He would not stand for that so he walked on over. The boy was 4 or 5 and too old to be picking on a child her age, "Hey kid, stop that." Eren’s voice was parental but stern. He was surprised and wondered what role he would take with his own child. The boy turned, "Fuck you." Eren could not believe his ears, "What did you say?" He hissed as the boy stuck out his tongue. A whiny bitchy voice appeared, "Are you disciplining my child?” Eren spun around, “Someone needs to, he’s a brat.” She gasped, face red, “YOU'VE GOT SOME NERVE!"

Eren moved back, "No, your child just told me to fuck myself. He was pushing my little girl down. I’d say his rude brattish attitude needs an adjustment." Mila looked up, hands opening and closing, "Er, er, er!"Her little voice sweet and anxious. She made grabby hands but the woman moved forward, face puzzled and questioning, "You're with the guy who has sex toys in his bag!” Eren rolled his eyes, “And you’re child is a pusher, let’s state the obvious.” 

The woman became more angry, taking that tone many of the “correct” mother’s took with others. They always had the healthiest snacks, raised the most perfect children, they were the best prepared for college at 3 moms. “MY NATHAN WOULD NEVER PUSH! WE TEACH PASSIVE BEHAVIOR IN OUR HOME!" Eren found that hilarious since she was pretty aggressively yelling right now, "Whatever lady." She got hard real quick, "She isn't yours. I should call the police." Her tone told him she was bitch and would do anything to spite someone else. Eren thought that things were certainly escalating quickly, what the fuck. How would Armin handle this, "She is mine and why don't you go passively sit over there. Your heathern son might passively push another kid but it won't be mine." He threatened staying his ground “Call the police. It’s not like I have to worry about my husband finding out I caused a scene.” _BAM Armin would just go straight for the throat and that’s a pretty common topic that someone like she and her husband would probably fight over._

Erwin walked over, face a grim line, "What seems to be the problem?" She turned to him, haughty and offended, "You're new lover here is accusing my son of pushing and he's parenting my child that doesn't need to be parented because he's perfect all while you carry your sex toy bag around," Erwin cut her off, tired of this shit, "Her mother must have grabbed the wrong bag. I would never have brought such to a children's playground if I had known." She rolled her eyes, "Likely story to cover up your own debauchery." Another crying kid and they turned. Her child, Nathan, was pushing Mila off the stairs of the small slide. Erwin snorted, "Sure is passive." She huffed and Eren left Erwin to deal with it.

When he approached, Mila was crying and he went to pick her up but noticed there was something all over her, "Ew my god, that's vomit." Nathan snickered as he ran away and then Eren saw it, a sick little girl in braids next to where Mila fell. She looked up at him as he picked Mila up more, "No, don't you even," she walked forward and convulsed, vomiting all over his pants and feet. You had to take your shoes off for the play ground before entering, his socks were thick with bile and he hated it. She was crying and he was too, inside. Mila's cried quieted down.

Erwin was walking over when he felt it, the worst thing in the world. It was like God had forsaken him, he was left to die alone. It was the worst pain a human could ever feel, the absolute most diabolical thing someone could leave out, it should be a weapon of mass destruction. He stepped on more than one, so many, he lost count, his mind told him to go to Eren so he could help but his soul was on fire as he stepped on another one. He cried out, "FUCK!" It was all in slow motion as Eren's eyes widened, "SHIT!" The other mothers covered the ears of their children as they gasped, "GOD DAMN IT!" Erwin fell down, bag of gold fish and sex toys spilling onto the multicolored plush matted floor of children germs and Lysol, "GODDAMN SON OF A BITCH!" His prowess, mighty pride, brought down. Erwin Smith had met his match: The Lego. 

Eren ran over, vomit all over him and Mila, "Erwin!" Erwin clutched his feet, "I'm too hurt Eren. Run, run away from here." Eren bent down, "Erwin," he whispered setting Mila down and putting whatever he could back in the bag, "we have to go." Erwin looked around at the angry faces, "I know. Get my shoes please. I need the protective leather to kiss my feet." Eren ran over to the cubby holes to get their shoes except Erwin's were missing. When he returned Erwin looked like he wanted to die, "They're gone, Erwin." His eyes widened, "What! Did a goddamn gypsy child take them!?" Eren jumped at the tone, "We gotta go." He picked Erwin up and the mother looked on whispering. Mila was sniffling as Eren took her hand walking along with her. Erwin looked around, his feet hurting, pride bruised. He let out a mighty and spiteful cry, "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!?"

Outside Eren removed his socks, "We've got to change Mila. " inside the bag there was nothing, not one outfit and no diapers. Mila stared as Eren and Erwin tried to find a solution, "Wal-Mart." They both agreed and climbed in the car with Eren sitting on newspaper Erwin had just bought the other day. When they got to Wal-Mart Erwin ran inside only to return minutes later, "I don't have my wallet." Eren's face was long and he deadpanned, "Seriously?" He crawled out of the car, "Just watch Mila." Eren walked inside heading to the back to grab diapers and a t-shirt he could use as a dress. He also grabbed a pair of shorts heading up to the self check out. Once there, he searched his pockets and found he too, was without a wallet having left it in his car with his scrubs. Eren was angry, numb, and smelly. An older lady walked by sneering as a clerk appeared, "Sir, we need you to buy your things and leave, you're making other people ill."

Eren stared at the register, “I forgot my wallet or it was stolen.” The clerk pursed their lips, “Sir…are you homeless? Are you in need of a place to stay? My church runs…” Eren looked like dark cloud have overshadowed him as he replied monotone and softly, “No, no, no…I’m Jewish, I’ll just go wander around the parking lot in search of the tabernacle.” Eren grabbed a bag, walking out into the parking lot bare foot, feet stinging from the heat of the pavement. He opened the door, “My wallet is missing or in my scrubs.” He picked Mila up, taking her clothes off and her diaper. Erwin looked on mystified, “What are you doing?” Eren was done, “Making a diaper, a ghetto ass diaper.” 

Erwin managed a smile, “God, Levi would DIE.” Eren raised an eyebrow, “Armin would beat our ass.” He put her back in the seat and climbed back in. “Oh god, when they find out.” “No, they won’t and they can’t or we’ll be dead.” Erwin started the car pulling on to the main road, “Well, it can’t get any worse.” Eren bit his lip, “I don’t know. I think it can.” “How so? Why would it?” Eren kept looking out of the window as they pulled up at a red light. He noticed men coming through the empty old gas station parking lot.

It wasn’t that Maria wasn’t safe, but it’s neighboring city Olivia was going through a growing process after years of decline. Gentrification was the word on the streets and for every blossoming of businesses there was the decrepit remnants and ghosts of those before it next to it. These men looked rough, drug rough. Drifters sometimes came through on their way to Georgia and he suddenly realized what was about to happen, “Because we’re Jews, Erwin.” And then it happened.

The first car was hit with a Molotov cocktail. They each screamed and then _BAM_ the windshield was hit by a bat, car shaking, Erwin released his seat belt and then Eren’s locking the doors. He literally pushed Eren in back with Mila, “You take her if you have to.” Erwin turned back around, locked by other cars at the red light, “DAMN IT!” The van in front was on fire and sped through the intersection to crash on the side of the road into a lamppost. The men left them, swarming the car, beating it with bats, spray painting on it, and more. Erwin hit the gas, driving like he had in the military till they reached a place far away they could pull over and regroup, “I can’t believe this shit.”

Eren was handing fish to Mila who was hungrily eating them, it was past lunch and they needed to feed her but the bag didn’t have food. Their car wasn’t safe to drive because of the windshield and they didn’t know what to do. Erwin gripped the staring wheel, “I’ll call Hanji.” He started calling them and listened to the ring. The silence in the car was heavy as neither Hanji nor Mike picked up. On the third try a loud POP happened making them all jump and then the windshield went opaque. Someone had thrown a milkshake out of their window and it hit their car.

Eren started to laugh, just laugh and laugh. It wasn’t funny, it was just so unfunny that that was the response his mind had to it all. Erwin sighed, calling the one person he didn’t want to, “Armin?” Armin was put off by the tone, “Yeah?” “Can you come get us?” “Where?” “Across from the motel 6 and Niffers.” “Okay. Leaving now.” “Bye.” He hung up and Mila babbled away while they tried to figure out what had just happened to them today, “I can’t call the wrecker until Armin gets here because I can’t pay them.” Eren nodded, “I don’t appear to have my keys.” “Fuck, Eren…it’s only been three hours.” Eren and Erwin both started laughing and Mila joined in.

*******************

When Armin pulled up, he walked slowly up to the passenger side, “Get out. I’ll get Mila.” Erwin got out and Armin moved to open the back door, “What is she wearing.” “Ghetto Diaper.” Armin stared, mouth slightly open, “What has happened to you all? Why are you covered in stickers and vomit? Why is there blood, Erwin Smith!?” Erwin and Eren just sighed, “There were sex toys in the diaper bag,” “Nope, nope, nope, we’ll talk about it at home.” Armin moved Mila into his car, “She smells. I can’t even believe this.” “Baby?” “What?” “Can you pay for a wrecker?” “Where is your wallet.” “Dunno.” “Eren’s?” “Gone.” “What has happened here? HaShem have mercy. Is that a milkshake?” Eren deadpanned, “It brings all the boys to the yard.” Erwin snorted, “and they’re like it’s better than yours.” Eren grinned, “Damn right, it’s better than yours. I could teach you,” they both joined in, “but I’d have to charge.” Armin deadpanned, unamused, “Lala-lalaa Mila and I are waiting, so get the fuck in the car.” 

After they got home, Hanji and Mike showed up, embarrassed and beside themselves. Erwin’s car was damaged and they couldn’t find the people who did it. Armin washed Mila and Eren in the bathtub upstairs. She played in the water feeding Eren invisible food and talking her nonsense of “Leevee, er, Arm, win.” Hanji was delighted that Mila seemed so delighted. They were upset that Levi was sleeping but asked that he not be told about today until he was well. They all agreed. No one wanted an angry and sick Levi.

Armin bandaged Erwin’s feet later after they left, “How are you doing this?” “Doing what?” “Taking care of me and Levi? How are you so perfect?” Armin smiled, ducking his head, “How did you and Eren manage to fuck everything up in three hours? It was supposed to be a simple day. Eren finally found his eyes thanks to Mike seeing them beside his car door. He’ll be back in a bit and relieve me of my nursing duties. Then I’ll be all yours.” Armin smiled coyly. He was wearing one of Erwin’s white oversized shirts and yellow and black Nike running shorts. He looked cute and comfortable and Erwin wanted to hold him.

“Baby, come here.” Armin rolled his eyes crawling into Erwin’s arms. The TV was low and the room soft and warm like it was when they first moved in together. He kissed Armin’s head, nuzzled his neck and smelled him, so sweet and refreshing. “What’s wrong, Eriwn?” Armin rubbed his arms, “Will I be a good dad?” “Of course, why?” “Because without you and Levi I was really lost today. Why couldn’t I defuse the situations? Why wasn’t I in control?” Armin started to laugh, “Erwin, you were involved with the weirdest shit today. If anything this should show you that you’re going to be a wonderful father.” Erwin’s eyes narrowed, “How so?” “Because, Mila was happy and safe. She ate, played, had a good day with her uncles Erwin and Eren. I am really proud because honestly me and Levi had bets you two would do certain things but damn if this wasn’t just so out of left field. We didn’t win any money, either of us.” He snickered as Erwin pinched him and tickled him, “You little devil.” He smiled wickedly as Armin squirmed and goggled, “Stop! No! Mercy, mercy!”

Erwin relented, kissing his neck and peppering all exposed skin with kisses, “Let’s go tomorrow.” “Where?” “To the womb.” “Okay, I was really wanting to see it, too.” “It’s not that far along.” “No, but…it’s ours.” “Ours.” “Yeah, a prince in the making.” Erwin smiled, “A prince.” He snorted, “or a princess.” Armin’s heart fluttered, “Erwin, you know just how to make me smile.” 


	97. Flippys

Armin felt hands moving over his body, “Baby?” He didn’t want to wake up yet. “Baby, Hanji said that they can only show us the womb at a certain time today and that’s in about 10 minutes so you need to wake up.” Armin tried to roll over, “Nnnn.” He heard him, but didn’t really understand him and just wanted to go back into the blissful state of sleep. It was super early and didn’t his husband know that he was allergic to mornings? Erwin watched as he tried to dig deeper in the covers.

Erwin rolled his eyes, sliding out of the bed. He picked Armin up, brought him in the bathroom and sat him on the counter. While Erwin brushed and washed his face first, he then did the same for Armin who let him because it was currently impossible for him to do any work at all. The wash cloth moved over his face and ears with care. Erwin didn’t mind taking care of him, this was just practice for their child. _Wow that gives me some serious anxiety._ Armin rubbed his eyes and his face after Erwin finished, “My shirt is wet,” he pouted, “’used to much water…” Erwin pulled him into his arms, “Shush I know, baby. Mean daddy can’t do anything right.” Armin moved to hide his face, mumbling, “He’s not so bad.” Erwin left the bathroom, walking into the bedroom and grabbing his keys. They’d have to take Armin’s car but that was fine. 

Downstairs he made coffee, the cup barely filled when he needed to leave. Armin’s head rested on his shoulder, his arms limp and legs around his waist. He was like a little rag doll and he had no idea how good it made Erwin feel to pick him up and carry him around. He felt so useful, protective, and alpha when he toted Armin around like this. What did that say about his need to be needed? He didn’t have time for that, he was just going to have to accept he was fucked up.

The ride over was quiet until Armin spoke up when they parked, “Daddy, my shoes…” Armin didn’t have any shoes on because Erwin had just carried him around. “Um, anything in the car you can put on?” Erwin looked around and Armin frowned, “Um…maybe some flippys are in the back.” Erwin smiled, _Flippys….my god you’re adorable._ “I’ll look baby, hold on.” Erwin got out looking in the trunk and finding a pair of flip flops. He put them on Armin and they walked to Hanji and Levi’s office. “Daddy, this is going to be weird.” Erwin hummed, “Yeah.”

Hanji was there, clothes a mess, papers everywhere, take out on the table and Mila asleep in her pack and play in the corner. They looked tired, very tired, “Okay, so y’all wanna see your little clump of cells?” Armin and Erwin smiled nodding. Hanji turned to head towards the nursery room. Armin held Erwin’s hand as Hanji turned around before opening the double doors, “Okaaaay, here it goes!” They pushed back and Armin and Erwin entered the small [nursery](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/fd/c1/c6/fdc1c626af3daaeffe09aa94d6dcfcf9.jpg) they kept the two wombs for humans in. It was very soothing and nice, comfortable. Armin and Erwin turned and in the corner was their womb, alongside Eren and Levi’s but theirs was what they focused on. 

Smith was written above it in Hanji’s delicate writing. Armin and Erwin moved forward, crouching down to look through the thin membranes. Not much could be seen but Hanji moved forward with the ultrasound. On the screen an almost microscopic peanut looking cluster could be seen and that was it, that was going to be their child if everything went well. Hanji smiled, “Both of you are crying and you’re going to make me cry.” Armin turned to lean on Erwin as they both laughed softly and cried, overcome with emotion. They were going to be parents, they were going to start their own little family.

****************

Two weeks later, Levi was better and at band practice with the others. Jean had told them that they had been asked to play at a local bar for a private party. Levi wasn’t feeling it. It was something he couldn’t put his finger on, but despite that he was there and they were working on set lists. Eren was finishing up his clinical hours and he’d been switching off with Armin helping take care of him. Levi hated being sick. He’d rather care for others. It didn’t help that his hay fever had turned into pneumonia. What the fuck was up with that? 

Jean was smiling when he approached, “Levi, sing something…really sexy and Jewish, something that will make people swoon.” Levi smirked, “Yes, let me open my repertoire of sexy Jewish ballads. What is the party theme? Will they even get it?” Jean smiled brighter, “OH YES! They requested some songs in Hebrew and a few other languages. They really like languages and art and culture and all that other rich shit.” Levi smiled internally. He liked when Jean pointed out things like that. Coming from poor made him appreciate his humor when he attacked the upper elite. “Have you heard the cover of “Lech Dodi” to “All of me?” Jean shook his head, “No, I know the songs. You want us to play “All of me” and you just come in with the lyrics?” 

Levi shrugged, “Yeah, just let me lead on piano till we get it down.” Jean nodded, “Got it, dude.” Eren entered waving at them all and sitting down with a thud. He was extremely tired and just wanted to space out and let Levi finish. Afterwards they could go eat, yes, food, food was always so good. Food was life, food was love. He could get something with cheese or maybe even break kosher and Levi wouldn’t say anything because they weren’t at their home and oh something with cheese and cake, cheese cake mmmmmm….

Levi sat at the piano, playing the intro to “All of me.” Eren was drooling over that cheese cake dream when Jean and the others joined in, “Make it sexy, Levi. So sexy we all nearly go wild.” Levi smirked, “Okay.” Eren smiled thinking about how ridiculous Jean could be when Levi started singing, “Lecha Dodi, likrat kalah, peni Shabbat nekablah…” _Damn, that was some sexy shit. Oh my HaShem, wow, oooooh, this is hot, ah, Levi how have you turned this sweet wedding song into such a panty dropper, damn._ Eren was officially swooned. 

His phone went off with a text, “Were you just thinkin’ of food? :-* I am.” It was from Armin. He was really jealous that they’d gone to see their womb but with Levi all sick and junk he hadn’t asked if he wanted to go. Also, he felt like Levi would want to when it was further along. Eren was thinking of Levi in some pretty hot ways right about now, “Yeah, let’s meet in an hour at cheeseburger cheeseburger?” He sent the text and went back to listening to his crooning.

His phone vibrated, “BOO YOU WHORE I AM HUNGRY NOW. B( ” Eren sent another text, “Levi has about ten minutes left and then I am going to suck him off.” His phone vibrated a little later, “Oh Boo Boo Bear, I feel ya. Suck that cock. :-P :-* Let’s meet at Fleur in an hour. Not feelin’ burgers.” Eren smiled, “See you there, coconut. Love you and junk and stuff. :-* ” 

Levi finished his song and they went through it one more time until Eren stood up, “Levi, we’ve got plans.” Levi looked a bit confused, “Okay, we’ll I can leave now.” Jean and the others smiled, “Cool man, good jam session.” David walked up to Levi and Eren, “Tomorrow we’re going to look at places still, right?” Eren and Levi nodded, “Of course, we gotta get you a place. I can’t have my sister living on the streets in a box.” Levi snorted, “You can stay with us if you need to.” David hugged Levi, “Achki, you want that secretly. I thank you and love you.” Levi clapped his hand on his back, “I love you, too.”

Eren enjoyed the brotherly love but he was itching to corner Levi and shooed David off as soon and as nicely as he could.

******************

Levi was a bit confused at everything as he and Eren started to leave the building. They were going down the stairs and through the winding halls when Eren pushed him into a unisex bathroom for families. Levi wasn’t too excited at the nasty bathroom since it had the seat up on the toilet, droplets of pee on the rim that others had always mocked him about seeing because they can’t see filth, black walls with white beat board around the lower half of the wall, small porcelain seat from the 20s, and radiator that wasn’t functioning. It had black and white tile from the 20s as well and he was now slammed against the wall wondering what they actual fuck was going on.

Eren’s hands were on his waist moving down to unbuckle his belt and undo the button of his pants. “Levi,” Eren panted, “let me suck you off.” Levi’s eyes widened a bit in surprise, “Now?” Eren dropped to his knees, hot breath against his crotch, “Yes, just sit back and….fuck..” Eren had his pants and underwear down, staring at Levi hardening member. He felt himself grow hot all over, sighing, “Let me suck your glorious cock.” Eren surged forward, hand griping around it and stroking for a few seconds until his lips covered the top. 

Eren’s eyes rolled back, he moaned at the taste of Levi. He started to suck him, suck hard. His hands moved, fingers splaying across his exposed hips as he took Levi to the back of his throat, burying his nose in the neat and trimmed hairs at the base. He hummed in pleasure as Levi inhaled sharply, “Eren,” his voice shaky, aroused and surprised, “damn.” Eren pulled back, coming off with a pop before he licked it from base to tip, attacking it like it held the key to life. His eyes closed, Levi looked down only to see him completely lost in the moment, his mouth moving, tongue sliding against slick hot flesh, teeth grazing ever so slightly putting Levi on edge.

He kept taking him all the way back, humming, gagging, driving Levi insane as he bent forward, back slamming occasionally back on the wall when a particularly toe curling suck rendered him helpless. He ran his fingers through Eren’s hair as Eren delved the tip of his tongue into the tip of his leaking cock tasting Levi’s precome and savoring it. Levi was being driven to the edge, “Fuck, Eren. Damn it, yeah like that, just like that, mmm HaShem...” He hummed in pleasure as Eren mumbled against the side of his hot flesh, “Want me to suck that cock more?” Levi smirked despite himself, Eren sounded so hot and it made him tremble, “Suck my cock, baby, suck it.” Levi didn’t know where this was coming from but he didn’t mind. Not with those large green eyes peering up and his hand gripping his own hardness trapped in his tight blue jeans. Eren closed his eyes, teeth exposed and moving across the flesh slowly for Levi to see each teeth edge him so close to the edge his breath hitched and he whined from how aroused he was. Eren went back to sliding on and off till Levi was so tightly wound he came down his throat and in his mouth making noises Eren rarely heard.

When Eren was finished he gave Levi a little show that he knew he’d enjoy after speaking with and prying the information from Armin. Levi tucked himself back in, legs feeling like jelly as he pulled him up and kissed him passionately. “I fucking love you, Eren. I love you so much. You’re so fucking, damn, shit…” Eren smiled against his lips, “You’re so fucking hot, Neshama. I can’t take it.” Their hands roamed over each other, lips, teeth, tongues. The bathroom suddenly felt smaller and hotter as Eren started to whimper. Levi’s hands went to his zipper, he pushed his pants down, taking his erect and leaking sex in his hand and bringing Eren to completion in a fury of impassioned kisses and blistering bites. Eren moaned like whore as usual but his voice died in his throat as Levi licked his hand clean. They were normally pretty steamy but today it was on a new level.

Eren and Levi eventually kissed as much as their swollen lips would allow and they cleaned up in the bathroom. When they got to their car, Eren had taken the bus all day, they climbed in holding each other’s hand, “We’re getting dinner with Armin at Fleur and need to be there in like 10 minutes.” Levi snorted, “Damn, I wanted to go home and fuck you so hard I had to peel you off the floor.” Eren smiled wickedly, “After I eat and get energy we can do that.” Levi pulled into traffic, face quizzical before returning to its passive mask, “No. I am going to deny your request cadet. You must apply through the proper channels.” Eren grinned, leaning against the window, “But it could take weeks.” “Such is life in the army.” “The Smiths will delay my request until I submit to a physical.” Levi’s eyebrow rose, “They shouldn’t require one. You may be being sexually harassed. Have you had to submit to physicals before, cadet?” 

They were close to the restaurant, “I have sir. Many times and very invasive, but, my body belongs to the cause and not to myself.” Levi paused, braking for a stoplight, “Cadet, you’ll need to show me the things you were asked to perform in the physical later, you know, when you’re safely in my care. I’d never use my power to exploit you. You’re young you don’t yet know bad touch from good touch.” Eren loved Levi more than words right now, “Will I have to show you everything? Every touch?” Levi pulled into a space in the parking lot, “You’ll have to show my every good and bad touch. We’ll have to document it extensively.” Levi took off his seatbelt, “Come on, let’s eat, cadet Jaeger.” Oooo, damn, Jaeger. That stung. 

“Don’t you mean _baby?_ ” Levi stilled in the parking lot, horrified expression on his face. Eren walked up to him, “You’ve become the very thing you’ve mocked.” Levi gasped, “No, I mean…I don’t….I…” Eren shrugged walking forward before turning around to face him, serious look on his face, “But, it does really piss me off that Armin is mami. You might want to think of a way to remedy that because I don’t really ever have to follow orders, Levi. I just choose to follow them. I control what I do with you or without you. Think about it.” Levi had been out done. Eren was spending too much time with Erwin.

Inside Armin was sitting at one of the tucked away booths. He was cute, boyish, and happy. As Levi sat down he immediately lit up, “Levka?” Levi knew that tone, “Yes?” “Can you order me a glass of wine?” Levi rolled his eyes, “I’ll get a bottle.” They ordered drinks and food, chatting about the band, the showings that they had lined up for David and Mikasa. Levi looked at his phone, “Where is Erwin?” Armin shrugged, “I don’t know…. He left after dinner last night….He had plans….I don’t know what they were or where he is but whatever…” Armin frowned a bit and Eren and Levi sensed a little tension. They didn’t remember him having any plans and for him to have been gone now 24 hrs and no one know why was upsetting. Levi and Eren just swept him up in more conversation and hoped to improve his mood.

When they got home Armin and Eren were a little buzzed. They kept drinking, neither had anything to do the next day and they didn’t think it would be a big deal. Eren and Armin sat on the couch in the living room while Levi tried to get in contact with Erwin in his office. Zadkiel had left for Russia with a return ticket for February a week ago. Levi knew that Erwin was upset about it and that he missed him.

Levi called him, over and over again till finally he picked up, “Erwin, what the fuck is going on?” Erwin sighed, “Levi, I don’t have time for this. Just leave me alone.” _What? Leave you alone?!_ Levi felt himself become winded, all the air left him, he and Erwin, they didn’t do this. “Erwin, you will tell me what is going on!” He hissed and Erwin sounded like he was far away, “Levi, just fuck off.” He hung up.

Eren and Armin were on the couch, empty bottles around them. “I’m sleepy.” Armin said, leaning on Eren who was flipping through the channels in his boxers. Eren nodded, petting Armin’s head, “God, tell me about it.” Armin stood up, legs shaky, “I’m going to go to bed. Night Eren.” He walked on over to the stairs, taking them slowly, leisurely. Erwin’s behavior had been off, seriously off. His feelings were hurt but he didn’t think that Erwin meant anything by it and was just having some growing pains or something. They’d set the shop up and now their grand opening could be planned. Levi and Erwin were showing places tomorrow so he knew he’d show up for that, right? He’d have to, right? Why wasn’t he returning his texts….

Armin knew Levi was in his office and he decided to say goodnight. He twisted the knob on the door but it was locked, “Velvel? I’m going to sleep. I wanted to come say goodnight.” He had wanted to have him hold him and tell him Erwin was fine. He wanted reassurance only he could give him. Levi’s voice behind the door was low, and if he hadn’t been drunk he would have noticed it was a controlled normal and not really normal, “Go to bed. I’m working.” He did as he was told, Eren on his heels, “Come lay with me in my room. If Levi’s working it’ll be late and he might sleep in his office. I don’t want to be alone and you shouldn’t be either.” Armin nodded, taking Eren’s hand and giggling to their room. Commander ran ahead of them but Donner was stopped at Levi’s door, scratching and picking at the wood.

Levi stood in the middle of a destroyed room. Cushions ripped open, papers strewn everywhere in snowy annihilation, books across the floor with bindings open and broken, and broken glass from his desk. His eyes, open wide and dilated, body shaking from rage. His fingers twitched, **Bad City Bad City Bad City Badschi Badschi Badschi Badschibadschibadschibadschi**. His lungs burned when he remembered to breathe, _Erwin Smith, Levi is dead._


	98. Cheshme man

Levi met up with David and Mikasa at the different properties. Erwin wasn’t there, and he wasn’t coming. Levi was saving the one they thought would be best for last and because it was the one Erwin was most invested in. He watched as Mikasa walked around, stomach finally showing, David trailing behind and discussing all the pros and cons with her. Mikasa wasn’t hard to please and nor was David. It was just that now they were scared about bringing a little person into the world. What if they were hard to please?

Levi’s hands still twitched, his eyes were bloodshot, and to an outsider he just looked tired. David and Mikasa were not outsiders. She carefully probed him for information about Eren and after finding him to not be the cause she backed off. Armin was ruled out when he called David and David was now left scratching his head. Erwin? Could Erwin Smith have done something? “Where is Erwin today, Levi? Wasn’t he supposed to be showing us too?” Levi went cold and deadly, “No, it was just me.” 

David moved Mikasa along, the tone a dead giveaway that Levi wasn’t well. _It’s like when he lived with me in Israel._ “On to the last one?” David offered. Levi shook his head, “Of course.” They went to their respective cars. Levi’s phone call log showing that Erwin hadn’t picked up 79 calls and now he wasn’t even showing up to their commitments with others. Levi’s blood thrummed in his veins. They pulled up to the next apartment; the one Erwin’s friend was selling. It was a surprise but if they wanted to buy it then he was going to give it to them at a steal. Renting it out alone brought almost 2500.00 a bedroom a month in profit. That was a lot in Maria and they could buy it for only 75,000.00 and that was a steal for Maria’s downtown market where shops were always trying to open and tourism made the rental prices skyrocket. 

The [ living room, ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/de/27/68/de27680189fb0ac1a36212722e717a4a.jpg) [kitchen,](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/00/6a/c2/006ac216009a8d0b12e41af29fa71b14.jpg) [master bedroom](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ae/0a/08/ae0a089ed31bb6e0dc549e8f63cd6734.jpg), and first [bathroom](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/66/eb/d3/66ebd34a3afdbe1b5614516b36cbf51e.jpg) was enough to sell them and David and Mikasa agreed to contact the seller that day and pay all cash without contingences. David haggled them down to 60,000.00 since it was an all cash offer and the seller was delighted to be giving a newly married expecting couple the condo where they started their family. 

Levi’s behavior concerned David and after they finished everything and agreed to drive over and sign the paperwork he took him to the side, “Levi? You’re starting to scare me.” Levi’s eyes were feral, wild, they weren’t right and he wondered why Eren let him go out today or if Eren even really knew he was like this. Levi moved aside, “Everything is fine. Just go sign the paperwork and let us know when you’re moving so we can help.” It was detached, like a robot. Levi was monotone anyway but this was upsetting to Mikasa, “Levi, you’re not well. Go home. I won’t call Eren if you go now.” Levi turned and left for his car, phone still showing no replies.

He came home, walked into the bedroom in search of them. He wondered if they had left. But, the boys were still asleep, tangled in one another’s arms. He checked the locks on the windows, locked the doors in the rest of the house. He went to his office shutting and locking the door with Donner inside with him. Donner was trying his best to help Levi but he was past it. He called Erwin again and nothing, just silence.

***************

Two days went by and Armin was now at his end. He let it slide the first full day, maybe something had happened that he’d had to stay the night somewhere and his phone died? The second day, Armin needed his car and that made him wonder, where was Erwin and where did he go that he had to take Armin’s car while his was being fixed and couldn’t ride the bus? So that mean’s he left town. The morning of the third day, Armin was banging on Levi’s door, erratic, desperate. Eren hadn’t seen him and nor had Armin and they were worried, worried he’d done something to himself. He seldom locked the door unless really working on something very important. This was madness. Complete madness and for what? He couldn’t fathom why this was happening.

Eren was really starting to get upset and Armin finally gave up trying to take the door off its hinges and cried, cried in the floor like a lamenting mother, “Levi, where is he? What’s going on? Pleeeasseee talk to me!” Levi opened the door, his face hard, and glare pinning, “I don’t know.” He answered without emotion. Then with anger and disgust, “Suck it up. REISS DICH ZUSAMMAN! (Pull yourself together) There’s no sense in crying.” 

Eren stood looking at Levi and noticed the room behind him, “Levi, it’s a shit storm in there!” Levi was still looking at Armin but there was nothing like pity or love in his eyes, “We have to wait and see what happens. I’ve made calls, I can’t find him. He doesn’t want to be found and that’s it. He’s doing what he wants, there’s no sign he was taken and you know what? If he, he fucking left. It’s his loss. He’ll deal with it and we’ll be just fine.” Eren and Armin were beyond disturbed at what Levi was implying. 

What the fuck was going on here? Eren entered the room, "Levi, you've..." _destroyed everything_ "got to give us more detail. Why do you think he's gone missing freely?" Levi was cold, detached, "I don't know, Eren. He has made it pretty clear he didn't want to speak to me." "SO YOU TALKED TO HIM!?" "For exactly 23 seconds." "WHEN!?" Armin screeched, "After we had dinner at Fleur. Go on. Leave. I have things to do and I won't waste my time on this." Damn, Levi was so off that Eren felt sick. He was never like this to them. He honestly sounded like he didn't care, that this was a waste of time. They were a waste of time.

Armin seemed to snap into some sort of detached state, Eren wished that he was there too. But, Levi’s demeanor, it was cruel almost. He was so different… “Levi,” Levi turned, “has Erwin done this before?” Levi’s back was sweaty, taunt, “Isi has a doctor’s appointment today. You’re going to be late.” Eren took the hint and he and Armin left.

In the car Armin started to let his true feelings out, “Erwin was acting strange when he left dinner.” Eren kept his eyes on the road, “How so?” Armin tapped his fingers on the door, “What if he’s not ready…what have I done?” Armin’s eyes were rimmed with tears. Eren knew that wasn’t it, “No, Armin. Don’t get like that. It’s not true. Tell me everything from the beginning.” Armin composed himself while Isi moved in the back, restless and upset from the tension in the car.

“He checked his phone, email because I could see the red and white and knew it was his email banner. He got very stiff, I was trying to cuddle with him and I was really sleepy. His arms were shaky now that I think about it. He really got uptight. He sat up, put me down on my pillow and put his between my arms, “Here, baby, I gotta go take care of some business. I almost forgot.” I told him it was almost 9:00 O’clock, what kind of plans started this late? And he just grinned and it was fake…I knew it was fake but we try not to point out things like that with each other. He leaned over, stroked the hair out of my face and kissed me. “Bye baby. You know I love you, right?” And I said, “Yeah, daddy. I love you too.” Then he was gone.”

Eren thought this was very strange, “What could have been in his email?” Armin frowned, “I don’t know. I checked for it but it was gone.” Eren knew Levi had access to everything of Erwin’s, everything. “We should ask Levi.” “He’s already checked. I know he has.” Eren bit his lip, “What’s happened to my husband?” His mumbled question was overheard. Armin started to cry, stating sadly, “Where has my husband gone?” 

******************

**Two weeks of horror.**

The gym was packed but Jean and Levi were up to use the mat. Jean hadn’t been around a lot, traveling for school and Marco had been working with Yvonne going from state to state with his book and her paper. Jean had noticed the off putting feeling that seemed to radiate from Levi. He wanted to know what it was about and where the fuck was Erwin any way? 

They entered and Levi was cool, calm, eyes piercing. Jean actually felt scared. A primal sense of fear as it began. Levi was cruel, menacing, hurtful. He would slam Jean, pin him, pressure points screaming as his fingers rendered him helpless. Jean had been hurt before but this was on a new level. It was never like this with Levi, never this feral. He heard others making noise, one guy much louder than the others. He wondered what was that’s guy’s deal. It’s not like he had Levi over here wailing on him. He needed to shut up.

Only after Mikasa climbed inside to end the match did he realize that it had been him screaming.

****************

Armin was working at his shop when Levi came in with a few boxes he’d left at home. Levi and Armin had been noticeably distant. Eren was upset, he felt like Levi had completely cut him out but Armin wasn’t doing any better. Levi walked around; leather and black making him stand out in stark contrast to the new antique store that customers hadn’t even been in yet. The buzz was real, though. The entire community was waiting to see what it’d be like. Armin felt the pressure not to mention, where was Erwin?

Levi walked over to case where Armin was putting jewelry, “I’m waiting for someone to come with pieces they want to sell and I want to buy to finish the case.” Levi nodded, walking over to the other side of the store where he looked more. His eyes were glassy; he looked like he was peering at things far away. He was still occasionally twitchy. Armin saw his knuckles, he had seen him sneak out. He knew he was going out looking for fights. “Where’s Eren?” Levi’s footsteps were leisurely, heavy, “Don’t know.” That was a lie, a huge lie. He kept tabs on them lately, so much so Armin felt like he was his father more than lover. Armin was breaking. He was so close to losing it and crying. He missed Erwin and he missed Levi, the real Levi.

The door opened, “Hello, hello, hello.” A voice boomed, happy and vibrant. The man came around the corner, a nice looking man at that. He was tall, built, dark brunette and light blue eyes. Shapely lips, peach complexion, his suite tailored nicely. He looked like he dripped money and class, things that Armin was comforted by because they were so much like what Erwin dripped. “Are you Mr. Armin Smith?” His voice was charming, Armin smiled despite himself. He was glad at least someone was happy. “I’m Armin.” 

The man took his hand shaking it, “Kristoff Mueller. I am so glad to meet you. You know, I was expecting someone much older, such is my normal buyer but now I see I’m in the company of young and handsome man.” Armin smirked, head tilted to the side and fingers tracing the edge of the counter, “You’re cocky.” Kristoff laughed brightly, “It pays well to be cocky, Mr. Smith.” It hurt, it hurt to be called that right now. _Am I even still a Smith? Have I been divorced?_ “Armin, you can call me Armin.” Kristoff smiled.

They discussed the pieces at length. Kristoff inquired about a lot of Armin’s personal likes and dislikes. Armin didn’t mind the attention. He knew he was flirting but it was mostly for the sell and if not then it was just going to be chopped up to Armin still having his “it” factor. Everyone liked being wanted. Kristoff parted with four pieces and hinted he had a few more. “Why don’t we meet up somewhere for coffee and I bring the others?” Armin kept his face controlled, _oh, well, you’ve gone and ruined it. A proper husband can’t do that._ “Just bring them back here. I have coffee coming to the shop. You can come when the shop opens and we’ll talk about a more permanent partnership.” Armin kept it professional but a little flirty. He wanted to keep the jewels coming, after all. Kristoff smiled like a fox, “You are a tease, Armin. I agree. I’ll come for that coffee after it opens. It’s a date.” He flashed a dashing smile and Armin allowed an upturn of his lips in response. The phone rang before Armin could reply, “I’ll be right back, sorry.” 

Armin thought it might be Erwin, everything made him think it might be him. Kristoff leaned on the counter, opened his own phone. “Hey, yeah, sold pieces 123 478 897 134. Yeah, oh man, no. He’s not old and smelly, thank God. He’s actually a little hottie with big blue eyes and this cute little nose. I know, I’m a sap for noses. Anyway, thinkin’ this might have a chance of leading somewhere. A permanent partnership. I KNOW!” Levi approached taking his phone and hanging up. Kristoff was shocked, surprised by the man suddenly near him, “Heeeey, man what’s up with that?” Levi’s cool gaze made him suddenly very uncomfortable. “You’re going to leave and not come back.” 

Kristoff squared off, “Sir, I don’t know what your relationship is to Mr. Smith, but this doesn’t concern you.” Levi didn’t back down, “He’s married. You should leave.” Kristoff hadn’t expected that. He’d seen the ring but there was jewelry in the case and around. He could have put it on to keep it safe. He had on bracelets as well and his ears were pierced. Was this his husband? “Well, I’ll just have Mr. Smith confirm that and if that’s so then fine. But, he’s not exactly acting like a kept man.” Kristoff’s tone and insinuation made Levi lose what self control he had. _He isn’t going anywhere._ Levi smirked and it made Kristoff’s blood run cold.

When Armin returned Levi had Kristoff on the floor, blood splattered around, he was screaming but Levi’s hands were on his throat. Armin ran around, “LEVI! STOP!” Armin was pulling him off of him as Kristoff rolled over, he’d held his own. Levi had a few cuts and bruises would show in a day or two. Kristoff had been in the army reserves, had served in a tour. He started to wonder why someone would get this angry and violent and then he just didn’t care. He didn’t do anything to deserve this. “I’m leaving.” Armin had Levi and tossed him behind him with a good punch to the jaw because he deserved it, “I’m so sorry, I am so sorry.” “He’s insane.” Kristoff hissed touching his broken nose, “What the fuck!? I’m pressing charges.” Armin pleaded, “It’s not good right now. My husband is missing.” Kristoff didn’t think he was lying, this Armin didn’t seem to be the type, “Missing?” 

Armin started to shoo him to the kitchen. He’d take him in there and then out the back. Levi would have to wait. “My husband and Levi were in the military together. We’re a very close knit group. We live together. Levi’s my best friend’s husband. It’s hard on us right now. We have no idea where he is.” “He went A-wall?” Kristoff held the wet rag Armin had given him up to his face as Armin pushed him closer and closer to the door, “It seems like it…we’re having a child. I don’t know. Maybe it was too much. We’ve had things…happen to us that have sent us to some pretty dark places. I am so sorry. I think he just…misunderstood the nature of our flirtation. It didn’t mean anything and it was business but right now everything is so sensitive.” 

Kristoff tried to be understanding. “I was actually flirting, you know.” He offered and Armin snorted, lips picked up coyly, “I know. But, I’m married. I hope that you can forgive us for this and please, bill me for the medical charges.” He shut the door of the car smiling and waving Kristoff off before turning, face gaunt, eyes horrified, _Levi was going to kill him. Levi almost killed him. Levi is out of control._ When Armin returned Levi was leaned against the front door, a tarp covered the windows and glass so people wouldn’t be able to see inside. Armin stepped forward, crying, he yelled, “What is wrong with you!?” His knees buckled, he fell to the floor, “Velvel,” he sobbed, “what is wrong with you?!” Levi didn’t even look at him with pity; he was emotionless, his voice dark and dethatched, lethal, “Don’t call me Velvel.” He turned opening the door and left Armin on the floor to cry.

*******************

Eren had the opposite problem. Levi didn’t just keep tabs on him like Armin. Instead, his every move was being documented, timed, he was being tracked. He knew his car had a tracker, he didn’t really care. But, the constant texts, phone calls, and checkups paralyzed him. In the house Eren was followed by a shadow of his husband. It was sad, nothing was the same. He wanted them all in the same room. Nights consisted of Armin crying for Erwin, Eren cuddling up to him, and Levi joining them in whatever room in the wee hours of the morning to sit in a chair, shadows cast across his features, cigarette in hand, the smoke billowing out of his nose while Dariush played softly from his office.

  
Cheshme man biya mano yari bokon  
Gooneham khoshkide shod kari bokon  
Gheyre gerye mage kari mishe kard  
Kari az ma nemiyad zari bokon  
Oon ke rafte dige hich vaght nemiyad  
Ta ghiyamat dele man gerye mikhad”  


  
“My eyes, come to assist me,  
My chicks are dry, do something,  
Is there anything that can be done except crying?  
We are hopeless, weep  
The one who is gone will never come back  
My heart wants to cry forever.”  


He wasn’t eating, sleeping, or talking much. He’d cut himself off, ran the house like a prison camp. Mikasa called Eren, “He hurt Jean, Eren. Bad. Jean’s not upset with him but we’re both really freaked out. What is going on? He’s not been speaking to David and I wasn’t going to call but it’s been almost two weeks.” Should I tell her, _”Oh he lost his mind, Erwin ran away apparently, Armin is a crying mess, and I’m actively trying to go numb inside because the man I love has completely regressed into a emotionless sociopath.”_ “Mika, don’t worry about it. Listen, Erwin’s away on business. It’s just how Levi gets when he’s away from Erwin for a long time.” Mikasa didn’t buy it but she read between the lines enough that Eren felt like he could relax.

Levi was really heading into sociopath territory. Suffering of animals didn’t bother him anymore, and this was a man who actively avoided the humane society commercials and gave large donations to them. He didn’t care about Armin’s suffering either, he’d just tell him to get stronger, harder, and even hissed that he needed to put his feelings inside. “German boys don’t cry.” A phrase that sent Armin into his own past and the pain that came with it. He was cruel, he enjoyed inflicting emotional pain and did so at every opportunity with Armin. White ribbons and crosses, it was getting out of hand. That’s not how you make someone stronger, not in a healthy way. Levi didn’t give a damn about healthy it would seem. 

  
”Har chi darya roo zamin dare khoda  
Ba tamame abraye asemoona  
Kashki midad hama ro be cheshme man  
Ta chesham be hale man gerye konan  
Oon ke rafte dige hich vaght nemiyad  
Ta ghiyamat dele man gerye mikhad  
Ghesseye gozashtehaye khoobe man”  


  
“All the seas God has on earth with all the clouds in the sky  
I wish he had given all of that to my eyes  
So they could cry for me  
The one who is gone will never come back  
My heart wants to cry forever.  
The happy tales of my past  
Has ended so fast like a dream”  


How was Eren supposed to bring him back? He’d attempted to in soft forms of coercion, harder ones that had back fired. He’d tried to capture his interest, seduce him and the force with which Levi met him caused Eren to rear back and away from his husband who he’d always known as rough but loving in his intimacy. He had nearly abused him, ripped him apart. Armin told him to leave him be, that that was even too much for when they played together and if that was what Armin was saying then it meant for Eren that this harshness had always been lurking within him.. Something had broken in Levi Ackermann and only pain could be understood, not love, not anything else.

  
“Kheyli zood mese ye khab tamoom shodan  
Hala bayad sar roo zanoom bezaram  
Ta ghiyamat ashke hasrat bebaram  
Dele hishki mese man gham nadare  
Mese man ghorbato matam nadare  
Hala ke gerye daavaye dardame  
Chera cheshmam ashkesho kam miyare”  


  
„Now I must put my head on my knees and forever shed the tears of regret,  
Nobody’s heart has as much sadness as mine  
Nor nostalgia and sorrow like mine  
Now that crying is the cure for my pain,  
Why are my eyes lacking tears?  
They have stolen our bright sun  
And drawn dark clouds underneath.”  


He was heading to campus to work in the lab with Levi and Hanji. They were still working on various projects but Levi had redoubled his investigation into the RH negative and Cohen/Levi mutation. He was thinking about having surgery on his leg and using the serum to heal it but Eren didn’t want him to. It was risky and they fought a lot about it. Eren walked in and it was just Levi. He sat down next to him, hand slightly touching the cuff of his wrist. They’d barely touched these two weeks. They hadn’t even kissed outside of the one horrible sexual experience. Eren felt like he was cast to the side, undesired. He felt badly about everything.

  
“Khorshide roshane ma ro dozdidan  
Zire oon abraye sangin keshidan  
Hameja range siyahe matame  
Forsate moondanemoon kheyli kame  
Oon ke rafte dige hich vaght nemiyad  
Ta ghiyamat dele man gerye mikhad  
Sarnevesht cheshash koore nemibine  
Zakhme khanjaresh mimoone too sinne  
Labe baste sinneye gharghe be khoon  
Ghesseye moondane adam hamine  
Oon ke rafte dige hich vaght nemiyad  
Ta ghiyamat dele man gerye mikhad.”  


  
“Everywhere dark color of sadness  
Our staying time is near its end  
The one who is gone will never come back  
My heart wants to cry forever.  
Destiny has gone blind and cannot see  
The scar of its blade will stays in the heart  
Sealed lips, chest stained with blood  
That is the story of the one who stays behind  
The one who is gone will never come back  
My heart wants to cry forever.”  


Levi’s voice was hard, “Eren, where is Armin today?” Eren perked up, he hadn’t been initiating conversations lately, “At the shop. Getting things ready. He actually has stuff online that people are preordering. Jean helped him design it. It’s neat and cool and-” Levi nodded, “Ok. That’s enough chatter.” Levi sighed turning back to his work and moving his hand that Eren’s fingers were touching. Eren frowned, this had to stop, “Levi, we need to,” Eren was cut off by Hanji coming in like whirlwind with a fussy Mila. 

Mila was a great baby, perfect. She rarely got upset, rarely got loud, and she was always easy to calm down because her needs and wants were pretty simple. Hanji was really stressed looking from what Eren could see, they had been flying around and doing so much it was a wonder they hadn’t had a break down yet, “Eren, thank god, I need you to help me. I’ve got samples to run and it’s a two person job to work the vent and everything. Please, help.” They weren’t lying, they had machines that sometimes malfunctioned and needed two people to run them. Grants just kept getting delayed. He stood up, “Okay.”

Hanji walked over, “Levi could you take Mila and get her to sleep? Thanks doll.” “No.” Hanji just assumed he said yes and started to hand Mila over to him. Levi gave them an offended look and pushed Mila back into their arms, hurting Mila’s feelings severely, “No, shit head. I said no.” Hanji paused, it’s like they broke because the concept of Levi turning Mila down was improbable, impossible, unimaginable. Levi stood up, “Leave your kid with a baby sitter. I’ll help run the machine, Eren can watch it.” _It? Mila was an it now and not a person? What the fuck!?_ Eren and Hanji were silent as he left and went to get gloves and head into the lab. Eren took Mila who was now crying and wanting Levi. “I’ll watch her.” “What’s happened?” Hanji’s voice was low and serious, “What has happened, Eren?” Eren looked at them, “I don’t know.” And he didn’t and he joined Mila in crying over Levi because he was completely gone.


	99. You can never leave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> smol chapter

Two weeks of hell and not a word from Erwin Smith still. Armin and Eren were sitting in the living room. Jean and Marco were staying with Mikasa and David until things got right, if they ever did. Jean had been reluctant to speak about how badly Levi had hurt him and Eren felt shameful on his behalf. Levi loved Jean and Marco, he would have never hurt them for sport. Or maybe this Levi would have. 

Isi was in the yard, Commander sat on the back of the couch with its tail swishing back and forth while Armin curled into a little ball beneath his blanket, “He’s sick, Eren.” He mumbled, “He tried to kill a man for flirting with me. He’s been sneaking out at night to fight. He hurt Jean and they say it was an accident but Mikasa said he looked like he enjoyed it. She was so upset that David wanted her to not go to the gym for a while. He’s cold, distant, a live canon. He won’t touch us at all, not the way he normally would have but it’s not that he doesn’t still…have some sort of feeling or attachment to us because he’s so controlling now. He wants us together and where he can see us plainly. It’s like he thinks we’ll just leave. He must really think that Erwin abandoned us….that he abandoned me. I…hurt.” Armin’s face streaked with tears, “I hurt, Eren. I had to go back on the anti-depressants and you know I never want to be on them….” 

Eren was also upset, his eyes red from crying and sore from being rubbed. He closed them, inhaling deeply before speaking slowly, barely above a whisper, “He’s going to kill us.” Armin didn’t re-act. He kept watching, nay staring at the TV, “Maybe.” It was quiet for a long time till Eren pulled the cover up more to cover his head over leaving his face exposed, “Why?” Armin sighed, “If you left me…I don’t know what I’d do. I think maybe…he’ll kill us to keep us together. You know, that’s a psychological thing. I don’t know, Eren. Something’s just really wrong and we need to be patient, because we’ve been really messed up before, but aware. We must be aware of all going on around us. I know I’m really fucked up as the Two Wolves so maybe this has sent Levi back into his trauma vortex, into an alter ego Levi, and he’s doing all he can to control it and us and make the situation as stable and manageable as possible.” Eren looked over, “You talked to David?” Armin frowned, “Only for a few minutes. He wants Levi to see him but he won’t return his phone calls.” 

Eren texted David asking him to come over, “We need him to help. I’ll take the risk. I don’t want my husband to chop me up in my sleep thinking that he’s saving me and us.” Armin nodded, “Hold me, please.” Eren crawled over to lay on top of him, “You’re my best friend.” Armin smiled, “You think our kids will be best friends?” Eren snorted, “Yes and probably a few will get married.” Armin grew serious, “How can I raise a kid by myself?” That hit Eren like a ton of bricks, “You won’t. You’ve got me and Levi….well, you’ve got me. We’ll be fine.” Armin pouted, stating simply, “Marriage is hard.” Eren couldn’t agree more, “Yeah, tell me about it.” 

Armin started to cry again, Eren wiped his tears, “Erwin wouldn’t have left, not unless there was a reason.” Armin shook, “It doesn’t matter. We agreed to not do this, to not keep secrets.” “We must have been in danger.” Armin nodded, “I know,” he sobbed ugly and raw, “but it hurts.” He was losing it, he couldn’t breathe well, he was sobbing hard, panic attack looming, “it hurts, it feels like,” he rubbed his eyes raw, “like someone is forcing a piece of hot iron between my ribs, it hurts, it hurts so bad. It’s nothing like getting shot because it just lingers and scorches and I am so worried about him. Is he well, is he sleeping, is he eating?” Eren started to chuckle, it was out of anxiety but he did think that was a little funny, “You’re such a Jewish mother.”

Armin buried his face into his chest, full body sobbing. Eren held him, crying himself into his golden locks. Why was this happening? He heard the door open; Levi was out so he expected him to come in. They’d cried in front of him these weeks but he didn’t do anything but look at them in this same detached way, almost like he just wanted them to stop, like there was no point. Hanji had pulled a ballsy move. They shut the lab down for two weeks starting the day after Levi’s calling Mila an “it.” Levi had been out getting groceries after finding out. He figured he was actually looking for a fight.

Eren’s eyes were closed, Armin pressed against him. He’d needed to be their protector these last two weeks. Eren was back to protecting Armin. Armin was stuck in inertia, worried and sedated on drugs. Eren was numb because he couldn’t figure out what Levi needed. Levi, Levi, Levi, Levi, his heart beat to Levi and he felt like maybe if he could just listen to it better it would tell him the secrets of Levi and his needs. He felt the sensation of someone standing closer to them, someone leaning over them. A cool hand on his brow, _was his Levi back?_ He opened his eyes and he saw a very surprising sight.

Erwin Smith looked like he’d been through some shit. His eyes were blood shot, beard full and untamed, his hair was unkempt, greasy, he was covered in dirt, moss, leaves, and there was blood on his jacket and shirt, some his own but some probably not. Eren was momentarily stunned, like Isi when he sensed something that was wrong or coming near and Donner would growl shortly after and Commander hiss. Erwin leaned over them more, his hands wiping Eren’s tears and then moving down to touch softly Armin’s hair. He looked so sad for them.

Armin sobbed more, “Eren, I just can’t do this. I just want him back. I want Erwin.” Eren tightened his hold on Armin, lips moving against his hair, “He’s here, Armin. Erwin’s back.” His whisper took a moment to sink in. Erwin stepped back, face drawn and worn like an old man. “Armin…” He ventured but then the front door closed and Levi walked in. Eren went rigid and made to cover Armin more. Armin squirmed but couldn’t fight Eren in the position he was in. 

Erwin stood straighter, walking over to the side. His moss and mud covered boots echoing on the floor. Armin squirmed around, eyes couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe Erwin was there. Levi walked forward, footsteps heavy. His black shirt and black skinny jeans made him look like a fallen angel about to fight Charles Darwin himself. He and Erwin squared off, the tension so thick it suffocated them all in it, making the house bow and moan with its weight. Weight from words, whispers of words through the structure, a house built by them with words and it was hissing now. Erwin moved closer and so did Levi till the were just inches away from one another.

Erwin had inhaled when he first saw Levi. He regarded him, how he looked, and then he exhaled beginning his spiel, “Lee I,” _BAM_ Levi punched him right in the lower stomach. He doubled over, clutching his sides and falling to his knees. Levi remained facing forward, same detached disgusted look and then a flash of true malevolence. He kicked Erwin so hard in the side Erwin cried out, sliding a bit on the floor. Erwin got up, fists swinging. Eren and Armin kept thinking how this always seemed to happen. They solved their problems fighting. It was in the living room, the kitchen, this is how they did it but Levi was just so off, there was such hatred. This must have been what it was like when they first met in the marines.

Erwin ran at Levi, slamming into him as Levi used his lower center of gravity and didn’t fall over, instead he flipped him over, knuckles connecting, skin breaking as he slammed them into Erwin’s jaw. Erwin growled: feral, menacing. He lunged, flipping them, knee slamming into his legs and stomach as they tangled violently. Ribs snapping, skin bruising, bones cracking. Erwin slammed Levi’s head into the floor as Levi spat on him, biting at him and flipping them. 

Eren moved off the couch like a cat and so did Armin. They needed to end this but it was so rough, so out of control. It seemed like they were really going to kill each other. Erwin stood up and so did Levi. _Woosh_ It seemed things had taken a turn for the worse. Levi revealed his knife and had slung it so fast, narrowly missing Erwin and nicking a line across his cheek bone. Erwin pulled out his gun and Armin and Eren started to rush to their respective husbands. Armin’s hands pulled at Erwin, “NO!” Eren was on Levi who seemed to become even more incited by this change and revealed his own. Both boys were screaming at them to stop. _Bang! Bang!_

Erwin’s arm burned as the bullet scorched it, passing through muscle and sinew. Levi was laughing, manically, insanely, loudly, and it disturbed Eren who was now trying to tend to his wounded shoulder and get him under control. Levi and Erwin, they were both looking like they had lost their mind. Erwin raised his gun again, his face wicked, and Levi sneered, pleased, ready to go as Eren wrapped himself around him trying to hold him back. Erwin pulled the trigger as Armin screeched, knocking it off course with a well placed kick to the knee. The bullet missed, Armin’s hand twisting his wrist and taking the gun from him throwing it across the room. Erwin opened the door as Armin attacked him, carrying him with him out the door, while Levi raised his gun again, “You can never leave Bad City, BOY!” The words were biting, Erwin screamed.

He was outside but Levi was a good shot. He wouldn’t hit Armin but he’d hit right through the left shoulder blade and it would kill him when it went through to his heart. Eren was scared. He was using all of his force and he was strong but Levi was running on the flames of insanity and then _BAM_. Eren and Levi were on the floor, bullet missed its mark as Erwin disappeared into the night. David was on top of them fighting with Levi, “Levi, this isn’t real. You know it’s not real. You’ve got to wake up. What you’ve thought, it’s not what it really is.” 

Eren was winded, his ribs hurt, Levi was thrashing, crying, voice rising in pitch as he whined struggling with David. Levi’s voice was panicked, “I don’t want to be there. It will only bring out the worst in us. What was it for? For what? For what? WHY DID I DO IT? WHY DID I DO IT? I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE!” Levi was screaming, tears streaming, face red and purple, veins popping, he was terrified. 

David took his hands, pushing and pinning him down by his shoulders, “ACH, LO! LO! LO! (Brother, No No No) YOU’RE NOT THERE LEVI YOU’RE HERE, IN AMERICA AND YOU’VE HURT EREN! YOU’VE HURT EREN AND ARMIN AND YOU’RE HURTING YOURSELF! WAKE UP!” Levi inhaled sharply, “Who is that? Who’s Eren?” eyes full of tears, they rolled back, and he convulsed. Eren was beside himself, _another seizure_ Eren clutched him to him, crying, tears soaking his shirt, “Neshama please, please, please stop. Stop being like this, stop hurting yourself and hurting me.” David and Eren waited for him to calm down. He passed out before David called Hanji, “You need to come over to the house. We’ve got wounds and I need sedatives. I need high dose sedatives and a favor.” 

Eren was beside himself, running his fingers across Levi’s face and trying to make this all make sense. “Eren,” David’s voice was commanding and fatherly, “Levi…he had something happen to him more than once. If you could give me time to help explain, to help him, then maybe his behavior could be comprehendible…Do you understand what I’m saying?” Eren laid his head on Levi’s chest, “David, he’s mine…he’s my everything and I am forever bound to him. I just want to understand, to help him. I want my Levi back. I want to make him happy.” 

“Where did Erwin go?” Eren carded his fingers through Levi’s hair, “I don’t know.” “I meant now.” “The answer applies to both questions. I have no idea what is going on and he’s shot and he took Armin.” David hummed, “Well, something bad has obviously happened.” There was silence till Eren started to laugh, “Wow, thanks Captain Obvious. We both understand that something happened outside of us because we were all living happily and planning for…the future. Now this fucked up shit happened. This shit has to stop when we have kids.” David smiled slightly, “Agreed. We should fix his arm.” “I’ll get some of the serum. It’ll heal it and not scar. Hold on till I get back.” David nodded, “Sure.” He looked at Levi, passed out, blood everywhere, face swollen, bruises forming all over. He felt his head with the back of his hand. Levi was sick again. Erwin couldn’t be written off as blameless. Now it all made sense to him, the role he played in his brother’s life.

David thought about Mikasa at home, feet up, hands sewing little bonnets and smocks or whatever else she wanted to do to relax. He thought about how she was growing, how she looked in her clothes now, and how she looked in the morning. Their house was cozy and clean, the way they preferred it. Jean was probably reading out loud the rough draft of the new book in the Mila series to her while Marco laughed and offered to rub her feet. He wanted his brother to be happy like that. He wanted them to all be this happy. And now there was another bump in the road, where did it end? Would it ever? He had to believe that it would.

He had kept watch, those two months in Israel, before New York, where he put Levi back to work, back to working the land of their people, it had been the most productive thing for him. Erwin needed to do it too, work with his hands on something that was theirs and they needed to stop this, stop trying to save the other one from pain by inflicting it. Levi was the most emotional person he knew. There was not a soul more empathetic, more sensitive, more feeling than he. Few knew because of how tightly he held himself and how controlled he was but those who knew him better were in love with him for those moments where he truly let his walls down and showed that Levi. Now he was hurt again, lying on the floor literally in need of saving. David would save him. Because he was his brother and they were all they had.


	100. Routine

You know how it is, wake up, eat, go to work, break, eat, go back to work, finish, eat, relax, go to sleep, repeat. It’s the same thing, every single day. But for me it’s a little different: wake up, don’t get shot, eat a piece of bread the size of your fist made of sawdust and flour mix, go shoot people, don’t take a break and shoot more people, don’t eat lunch and let the commanders use you like a table, lick a boot, shoot more people, get hit, shoot more people, finish by getting beaten and thrown into the pits of people you shot, head to the cell, eat another piece of Schwarz Brot and some quarter size dollops of hummus made of suspect things, go to sleep far from the door, don’t get pulled out around midnight, wake up an hour before wake up, move, don’t get too stiff, lay back down, pretend to sleep so as not to get shot, “wake up” for them, don’t get shot, eat bread, kill people, get beat, don’t eat, kill people, get raped by them, kill people, eat bread, sleep, wake up, sleep, wake up, eat, kill, raped, kill, beaten, eat, sleep, wake, sleep, eat, shoot, pain, shoot, feed, sleep, wake, feed, kill, could be worse, deserved it, could be worse, hunger, weakness, hunger, pain, numb, pain, numb, hunger, tired, hunger, pain, numb, pain, tired, hungry.

Routine is everything. It doesn’t have to make sense just so long as it doesn’t deviate from the schedule. There’s nothing really that I can do to avoid anything. There are no rules, nothing you can say to yourself, “Well, if I do these things…” “Well, if I don’t do these things…” Nothing can prevent or predict anything because there are no rules. People used to mean something. People… think about it, people are creatures and God made them and he made them in his image so then when we see people who hurt other people are we seeing another face of God? 

Do you ever think that God is angry because the first death was a murder? Do you ever think that maybe that means that when we die it’s fucking horrible? I wonder these things during the routine. I want to reach out and just _touch_ them in their loneliness and ask them after they die _what do you see?_ But that would break the routine. I don’t even look anymore, not really. My eyes are open but I don’t see anything but body, bullet, _BANG._

There's a little girl, her legs are thin like spindles. She twirls and twirls on her spindle legs. In the road there is a piano, it's yellow from mortar dust and sand, the keys are ivory and the sounds are like plucking wires between bones in the body. I listen, it's actually pretty good. Bach, Rachmaninoff, Beethoven, Schubert, of course, Germans and a Russian. Where's the Chopin? Where are the Poles? They know what klezmor dreams are made of, what Warsaw sounds like on the edge of time. The little girl twirls and twirls through the streets, IEDs and hot metal steam. Dancing girl, she’s a dancing girl. She asks why God doesn't feed her and the woman who sells heroin tells her that God doesn't have anything to feed her with. What fucking sense does that make?

I'm loneliest when I'm in the toilets. It’s the only place we have to go alone. They wait, they hope we kill ourselves in there, they don’t want him to talk me out of it and I feel the fabric of my shirt every time, feel it as it runs over my fingers and I think, I can do it. But, then she’s there, she fought too hard for me to live for me to do that. I feel so alone without him. He stands by me every day and every day he tells me, "We're gunna make it out of this." I don't even know why, but I live for it. I’m not kidding, I literally keep going to hear him say it. He stands next to her in the toilets and he cries and pleads. Weakness, that’s all that is. I don’t believe him by any means but I live to hear it just the same. I live to hear him say it in that honest and serious way. His mouth moves and I am attracted like a moth to the kerosene flame. He is absolutely the only thing I look forward to other that bread. His golden rays of light make my routine all the better. It’s like slowly all the screams and dying and torture all just fade away into utter silence and it's just point and shoot point and shoot point and shoot, look for him, point and shoot, point and shoot, look for him, point and shoot, point and shoot, feel his hands on my neck as he whispers, "You're not well. Let me help you. Let me in." Oh boy, you don't want to be let in here. I don’t even want to be in here.

They always leave me. This is a truth, a fact. I won't let you in and why should I? So you can see the ugly, the pain, the disfigurement of my hopes and dreams? It was like every time I turned my back another one was gone, dead. My mother turned away, "Stay in your room." Those candles illuminated my window in scenes of Macabee revolutions and I wanted to be one, I am a Macabee. My mother's life left her the moment I disregarded my own gut instinct. It’s my fault she lays cold in the ground, cold in the hollow red soil of a foreign country.

Then in New York it was the same. Don't leave; a simple rule but no one ever follows rules for their own good, a trend among the stupid and virile who believe themselves invincible. You're not, I am. I am forever cursed to remain alive. As I ran down streets and alley ways searching them out, searching for life all I ever found was that they had given up to soon, realized their own fragile humanity and left, left me. I was their leader but I lead them nowhere but into utter destruction.

Every one I've ever been responsible for is gone. I am the token of misfortune. Gang members changed over and over like fluidity was out very mantra. My squads have been decimated, friends buried in rubble. My mother, my mother, my mother, maman, maman, maman.... I am nothing, a pathetic stain of humanity but for some reason he stays. Every day they come go beat him but he stays. Every day they come to take away half our bread but he stays. Every day he opens his eyes and says "I'm sorry." Why the fuck is he sorry? I said we should go in, I said we should go inside, me. I'm the one, the cursed one. I made us go into that warehouse.

The keys of the piano made of ivory clink on the spine of the monster of humanity, each vertebrae higher and higher in pitch. What does the skull sound like? What do the toes and fingers sound like? Are the even there? No, it’s just the spine and the head, nothing more. This creature is ugly, unformed, like envy. _Envy is ugly and unformed. It has the hands of the bear._ There’s a woman, she’s pregnant and she wears blue flowers in her hair. She comes to the fence ever day and looks on at me while I eat, kill, assault, kill, eat, assault, kill, sleep, wake, kill, eat, sleep, wake, eat, kill, sleep….

One day, the sun is high and I’m standing at the edge of the pit. My white shirt is stained with blood, dirt, shit, everything nasty like me. She throws a piece of bread. I take it and hide it. Her eyes are dark blue, so dark they speak to me, he hair blonde like snow, so rare she is here among dark beauties she is the one lightness, the one rarity. I think about how if I had a heart it might beat to her beauty. Grey would be the color, not blue, if I had a heart. She takes the little girl who dances through the streets by the hand, “maman.” She walks them to the train station where a man tells her it’ll be 110 Dinar and she agrees. She hands him the money and she and the little girl wait for the train. Her stomach is round, too round. She listens to the music, always it plays, the music never ceases, not even one day. She twirls the little girl, blue dress and spindle legs, God can’t feed them, he has other things to do. They stand up as the train approaches, _choo choo choo choo choo choo choo,_

**_How many of my people were on trains like that?_ **

The woman and girl step off the platform and they are gone.

There’s nothing there, not one thing is left of them, just crumpled blue flowers and shoes that belong on spindle legs. 110 Dinar for a life, that sounds about right. Shoot, eat, shoot, get beat, shoot, get beat, shoot, eat, sleep, see him, see him, see him. Who am I? I’m 22 years old and I buried 67 in the sand and soil. I’m 22 years old and I’ve killed at least 3000 maybe more. I’m 22 years old and I don’t remember my name. I’m 22 years old and there is only one person in this place that keeps me sane. I’m not ever really sane, I just pretend because that’s what we do, he and I. We tell lies. We keep secrets. We stay together.

One time he left me, it was so simple. He left me on the streets of Egypt, ducked inside a store, a bazaar, something it doesn’t matter. He was gone when I turned around, vanished. I’m responsible for him. I’m responsible for people and he wasn’t following orders. He left me. He left me and when they leave they die. He left and he told me he’d never leave. He left me. I believed him and he left. They lie, people lie, humanity is built on lies.

Sometimes, when the piano is really loud he holds me tighter. His hands don’t beat me, his words don’t hurt me, his arms don’t pin me down, he doesn’t rape people, doesn’t assault people, but he shoots. He shoots really well. 67 are dead because of me and I buried them in the sand and soil. 67 are dead and I was their protector but I survived and why? For what? What’s this all for? I’m feed for the great destructive war machine. The monster with a spine and skull feeds off of me, I am its flesh. It wears me like a second skin, its teeth lengthen mine to fangs and I hurt. I destroy.

He whispers, “I’ll never leave you.” I believe him, it scares me.

He has eyes like the French sky line, lips like poppy petals, skin so smooth and golden it's like alabaster with golden flakes, his face made symmetrical by the hands of the creator, his hair is silky and satin like gold thread, and he likes me, me, a 22 year old piece of shit cursed Jew. No one could ever like me, not my community, not my father, not my uncle, no one. I am nothing, a stain, a shameful thing, I am unclean. Unclean, unclean, unclean, unclean…He whispers into my ears, cards his fingers through my hair, tells me stories about his past, tells me I'm going to go with him to see things, he tells me he cares about me, croons words of softness and sympathy. I have never known such tenderness, such gentleness, so warm like the summer and willingly offering me its embrace. He stays close to me in the killing fields, he shares his bread with me, he doesn't shoot me. He is offered to every day and he doesn't so I guess that's what love is. 

Love....I don’t understand the concept. Here there is no such thing. That's weakness and weakness makes you slower prey for the monster made of bones. Every person that dies becomes a part of that monster. If only I could reach out and touch them before they join and ask them, "Do you see it?" "Do you see the Olam BaHa?" I don't think I'll ever see it. Maman....did you see it? He would see it, this man made of gold who says he loves a Jew like me, a killer, a menace, a sociopath. I am sociopathic but not with him. He amuses me still.

  
He said he'd never leave me.  
Then one day they came for us.  
Roll call, electricity in the air.  
Shaghayegh.  
Escape? 

Where did you go Erwin Smith?


	101. Deviation

The sun sets, shadows cast through bars on windows and the room is so small and the floor and walls rough. It’s like we’re in the desert and we are but not this badly. This feels like Bedouin settlements where prisoners were held and thirst to death but nearby there are buildings with AC and running water. Bomb debris and bullet holes on their façade but inside they are much more comfortable than we. Its purples, golds, browns, and blacks, colors of sorrow, of reflection. The night is filled with the sounds of gun fire, rape, and the radio plays Dariush tunes. I like Dariush, he mourns with his voice and sometimes I pretend that I can feel something.

He stirs, his breathing slow and even. His arm has healed oddly, it needs to be re-broken and fixed. If only I had access to better tools, better equipment and some morphine. I look at him and trace the lines in his young face. His eyelashes are matted together from crying in his sleep. I hate crying, I hate seeing it. It hurts to see someone I…

I lay my head down on his chest. I know nothing, I am nothing, I have nothing. This is my mantra. He moves, he’s waking up to try and get more fluid. His bones hurt, work is hard on him thanks to his cushy Christian life. He shouldn’t claim to love a Jew. He shouldn’t claim to love me. His arms wrap tighter around me as he shifts, he nuzzles his nose into my hair. I close my eyes, maybe he’ll believe that I’ve gotten some real sleep. Maybe he’ll believe I’m doing what he tells me to do, “Lee,” he calls me that and I hate that it amuses me, “I love you.”

The air is different, the day is charged and it hasn’t even begun. Does he feel it too? I move my lips against his grey shirt. It’s full of holes, sweat stained, dirty, “I love you, too.” Do I? What do you call, “you’re all that I’m living for?”

There is no more color, so don’t see it in color. Imagine it this way, black, white, and grey. Because that’s how it was, when they came. There was no more color, there was no more day, night, anything. It was quick, the snap of fingers.

The door was opened. I leaned up on my knees as Erwin pushed up the wall behind him. He looked at them, then to me. His hands on my face and the crush of his soft trembling lips.

I was pulled down the hallway, people in the other cells in various states of distress and undress. It was a long hallway, white and black, grey was the color of my pants, white was my semi-new-to-me long sleeved t-shirt a man gave me after assaulting me. It was better than none, last one burned up in the fires of the pits. They had their hand on my shoulder as they drug me down the hall. I looked around, one man on his knees bowing down to be shot, another man scrambling backwards, shot, assault, rape, beat, kill, mar, rape, beat, kill, hurt, pain, pain, pain…

 _Where was he? I need h…_ I was brought outside, the sun white, the ground white, the fence black, the roll call platform grey and striking against the loose gravel, sand and dirt of the rest of the place. I was thrown in line with the others all standing around with worry clear on their face and the splatter of blood from their cell mates that had just died, Erwin was nowhere to be seen until he moved through the ranks to find me. His large form intimidating to other. I wonder if he’s what _safe_ feels like. He gave me a look, one I’ll never forget and he stood next to me, fingers reaching out to touch my own. He was always soft, tender, delicate, caring, and coaxing. I was always coaxed by him into all of these exchanges.

They yelled, they told us only ten would be kept, that the Americans were coming and so were the Syrians. I knew they’d keep him, he was strong like an ox. He grabbed my hand, “I’m not leaving you.” No one was coming to get us, no one heard his or my messages, no one was going to save us. He was crying again, I didn’t have time. His face in black and white, my eyes, his lips, I leaned up and kissed him, I kissed him with fire, with feeling….with love.

And then he was gone, a gunshot, people falling, sporadic. They weren’t going in any order, just down the line, shooting to kill and killing without feeling, screams, screaming all around. The music played, people ran for cover falling over shot in the back. It was just us looking around and then he was gone. He ran away from me. _He left me._

I was running, trying to find a way to live longer. _Why?_ I should just crawl into those bodies and take my place alongside them. Nothing mattered anymore. _He left me._ I looked up into the sky, running around buildings and thought, what if I could fly? What if there was a way to leave the ground, escape it and stop being so helpless. I used to ride horses in Williamsburg, there were a few around and my mother knew their keeper. She put me on the saddle and off I went, arms spread wide, I would close my eyes and then I could fly. What I wouldn’t give to leave the ground right now, crunch of the gravel beneath my feet, my lungs burning, my legs hurting and just the sheer panic that I felt being this alone and away from him to keep me company. 

I find a crevice, they’re shooting more, the dogs. _No._ I can’t stay here, not with the dogs coming. I climb up on the large grey water shed. A man appears shooting and yelling at me. The bullet clips the metal shed, I run but it’s slick and I start to slid off, my hands and feet burn as I touch the metal that’s only been touched by the sun for an hour. It’s so hot, it’s like touching Gehenna. I fall off, my ankle rolls and a bullet barely misses the nape of my neck. I miss my dog, I miss Donner. I miss him so much.

I get up, my hands are cut up and they hurt but I jump on the wall that separates our yard from the commanders. My hands are embedded with sharp painful glass. The pieces shine in the light, black, white, and grey, slightest tinge of blue that the mind fills in for sunlight. I cry out, pull myself over and my leg bleeds and twitches. A bomb goes off, the kidnapped and slaves fighting back. I fall to the ground. A woman is shot dead in front of me. She was a barrack whore who’s services only got her to this moment. _Life has no sense of justice._.

I hear the sound of metal, someone is cutting something in half and it grinds and screeches and there are people yelling hoisting the machine from the sound of their moans and groans. How? We’re all so weak and it must weight a lot. Who has the strength? _I don’t._ I run, my eyes burn from the light on the horizon. My head pounds, I’m so hungry and thirsty. Running, walking, breathing, it’s all too much. He’s gone. Where is he? Where is the man made of gold? He left, he’s dead, he didn’t want to look at me anymore.

I see the other prisoners, hear the spray of the semi automatic. The birds are chirping, don’t they know we’re dying? _They don’t care, I don’t care. I just…why am I even going on? I should just…_ I stop and look around, others are running by me, so many people, running around, doing things, killing, rising up, being shot down, and then he hit me with all of his weight. He picks me up, running and pulling me along. He’s got me at the fence, the fence made of electricity. But, he doesn’t stop, he pushes through the barbed wires, protecting me. He’s such a fucking fool. I don’t deserve the kindness.

We run, we run far away through the streets, backyards, alleys, and roads and into the neighboring city. Our legs are so heavy, we’re so tired. Schwarzbrot, they didn’t give us any. They wouldn’t waste food of the dead. They’ve got people out looking for us and he turns to me, “Go down.” He’s tapping a man hole cover, “No.” I can’t. “Lee,” why does he say that? What does he say my name like that, “You have to go down.” I shake my head, he doesn’t get it, “No, I won’t do it. I wont go in the sewers.” His eyes are hard, his lips turn upwards, “I didn’t get that fence down for you to say no.” 

His hands are rough, he makes me submit. His arms are crushing as he grabs me up and keeps me pinned while he opens the cover. He carries me down the ladder, pulling the cover over. He’s so strong, much stronger than me right now. I’ve been living on quarter rations for a month while he’s still on half. He tried to give me food. Fucking hilarious since I traded tricks to get him what he had. _Why did I do it? Why did I do it? Why did I do it?_ Nothing makes sense here in Bad City. Bad City eats you up and spits you out. He’s got me in the shit of the city, wading through it to get somewhere. I deserve to drown in this shit.

I know what he’s doing, I’m just really amused at it all so I go along with it. He’s got such determination and such moxi, I can barely believe it. How can he be so strong when we’re so fucking hungry? We’re heading to the outskirts of the city, we’ve got to get to a phone. I know who to call and that’s why he’s doing this. _I’m useful to him, nothing more. He doesn’t love me, he can’t._

We make it to the edge of the city, a pay phone with no change awaits us. Such _is life._ He trades a trick for cash and we make the call. He wouldn’t let me do it, he mumbled something about caring too much. _I don’t know…it makes me feel- I don’t want to feel anything or understand anything._ I make the call and we’re told where to go. Days go by of walking and fighting for food and water. I just want to see the end of it, even if I die at the end. I feel like Moses in the Exodus. I’m going to die in the dessert and no one will ever know where my body is buried. But, maybe he’ll live. I guess I kind of care if he does.

When we get to Eygpt, I fall on my knees. He picks me up, lips brushing the back of my neck, “You’ve gotta keep going, Lee. You are my body, you’ve got to keep going or I’ll stop moving.” He pulled me into the city and we sat at the table we were told to sit at. People moved away from us. _Moses, from whose loins I sprung, Lit by a lamp in his blood. Ten immutable rules, a moon. For mutable lampless men. The blonde, the bronze, the ruddy, With the same heaving blood, Keep tide to the moon of Moses. Then why do they sneer at me?_ A woman brings us water, she gives us a look and I can see the first trace of pity but she knows what it’s like to be pitied and she won’t caste that gaze at us.

She’s blonde, too. How strange that women keep appearing and they’re rarities in their own right. She uncovers her hair fully, has plates of food sent to their table. She has full pouty lips; hair is long and falls around her as she takes the stage. I start pushing food in my mouth, eating too slowly for my own body’s wants but I know it’ll make me sick. Erwin cries, he’s always crying. He moves his chair closer to me, _I feel human. Something bad is going to happen._ I feel his hand searching for mine under the table. They’re both busy shoveling food closer to my mouth but I decide to indulge him and put one down near his for him to find. I let my fingers intertwine with his as she begins to sing, _Hine ma tov umaniym…_ And I think that something is going to happen and he turns and buries his face into the crook of my neck leaving soft kisses that I can feel and a trail of tears like my people cried in the Exodus. Did I ever know anything other than pain? _I am broken. Mentally, after all of this I am unhealthy. HaShem…._

I look around, color coming back, it’s not longer black and white and his golden aura fills my peripheral. There are colors, I look at her and I think of how beautiful she is and her voice…it reminds me what it’s like to be a person again. _It reminds me of maman._ His lips are near my ear, “I told you we would make it.” His voice is slightly smug, he’s that type. He did say that but how would I have ever known life was going to let him be right? Life is the true master of it all. Chances are chances, they aren’t set in stone.

God left when I was ten. I studied on till bar mitzvah but only because I was searching for proof he didn’t exist. They called me a prodigy. What has that gotten me? I was supposed to be a lot of things, a rabbi, a leader, a father, a son, a nephew, a husband, and so much more. I am nothing, a now 23 year old Jew who was on his way to the holy land around Hanukah. How symbolic? And with a man who was more Jewish than he knew, what with his well placed wisdom and unyielding blind faith that he would survive. Thank HaShem he wasn’t Jewish, though. This curse was too much to bear.


	102. Gloves

“What are you doing!?” David lamented, catching himself before he came off too reprimanding or harsh. He grabbed Levi’s hands, Levi was skittish and flinched in fear. He tried to be softer, this was hard but he would make it better, he had to make it better, “Levi, you must wear gloves to pick cotton.” His voice was soft, warm, coaxing. It brought him back and he met his gaze. 

He looked at the bloody fingers as Levi stared at him detached from it all, his psychosis severely numbing him. David’s hands held his gently and his fingers moved against his soothingly. The red blood bubbled on top as he leaned down kissing them and then sucking the blood. Levi’s eyes widened, he regarded David suspiciously as he pulled back, “Ach, let’s get you some gloves, okay?” Levi didn’t react, he was mulling it over internally and David gave him time. Levi nodded. It was a positive start.

Erwin Smith was still in the hospital and Levi had reluctantly left him and entered into David’s custody. His leg was scheduled for another surgery soon; he had a cast on now, one of foam and Velcro, and was working regardless. He seemed to not understand that he needed to rest and David let him work in the fields for an hour a day with him. The others on the Kibbutz took care of him when David was doing his share of the work. They all understood in some way, their parent’s stories, the way their grandparents were after what they went through in the Holocaust. He felt blessed to be with others like them and for Levi to have the opportunity to lash out and not be met with ignorance. 

He was fighting for them, David was fighting for Levi and Erwin, fighting for their freedom. Erwin’s government kept him under lock and key and he took Levi every day to see him for the hour they allowed. He didn’t walk into the room with him because he wasn’t cleared and he had no idea what they talked about, he felt it should remain privat. After the first two weeks Shin Beit told him to stop taking him, something wasn’t right with the American representatives and he did so. Levi thrashed and screamed till sedated.

Erwin was sent back to America and it seemed that Levi accepted it after getting a call from him. They spoke on the phone sometimes, skyped, but it was a lot of silence on both sides. David knew they just felt better knowing the other person was there. Levi didn’t speak much about Erwin to him. He worked and slowly started to come back to life. That was what Levi needed, safety and space. He was a very reflective person, he mulled over things, he never launched in head first to anything. He needed stability, needed time to figure things out on his own. David gave him that and also a stern hand when his cruelty bled through. 

He hated them, hated what they had done to him. Levi wasn’t a cruel person, no, he was sweet, caring, kind, giving, all of that and more. But, they had breed it into him, used Milgrim’s psychological tactics of discipline to sow seeds of hate in him. His field was salted but maybe, just maybe, after tilling it for a few years something would grow in it. Something like love, peace, and forgiveness. He picked poppies sometimes, said they reminded him of the golden man. David made sure to keep some in the apartment at all times.

He let him lash out, hurt him. He knew it wasn’t Levi but the Levi he had had to become to live. He knew there was a breakthrough when he started getting apologies. He was becoming more aware. He remembered to wash slowly, he had nearly raked his skin off when he first showered after it all, he remembered to eat slowly, no more choking and vomiting, he remembered to listen to music, avoiding triggers and embracing some, and to just close his eyes when he listened, he remembered what reading a book was like, I bought him so many and he ate them with his eyes, he saved a life, then two, then three, and then many more.

Levi entered into the medic reserves for the IDF and over the course of those two months he was put to work in emergency after emergency. He saved lives but one day I thought he’d been pushed too far. A woman went into labor after a suicide bomber detonated themselves, missiles were also fired in the area, a double attack. She was driving when the bomb went off, car slammed into the median, she was bleeding everywhere. He climbed inside and delivered her child, she would maybe make it but the child needed to get to the hospital immediately. Emergency vehicles couldn’t get through the barricades. He left the car and ran, ran off towards the hospital. I saw him, I’d been at lunch with him and was now trying to help calm the people there, I watched him cradle the child to him as he ran through crowded and panicked streets.

He got to the hospital, child no longer crying and they told him it was dead, a little girl, dead in his arms. Levi fell to the floor, mouth open in a silent wail, he felt something other than pain, he felt hope snatched away. The mother later came in and had surgery. Her life saved thanks to Levi’s prep and his quick delivery. When she was wheeled outside to where they were standing she wanted to hug him. She told him she was very sad that her daughter was dead but that she knew he was their angel, Levi was their guardian angel. She named the girl Lera in honor of him and would honor him with her memory.

He was pitiful, I wept for him, “Why would you thank me? I wasn’t able to do anything. I don’t deserve anything…You should hate me.” She stood up, nurse angry and coming to her side, she hugged him, voice raw from crying but strong, so strong, she clung to him like one clings to life as death stands behind them, “Because you tried.” Her voice was serious and important, “You tried all you could and I know you did all you were capable of. I know everything was done to save her life. We can’t control the horrible things that happen to us but we can try to live without regrets. We make choices, we make the choice we think we will regret the least, we think it through and if you do that, which I have done, then you can forgive yourself and learn to live knowing you did all that a poor flawed human could do. Thank you, Mr. Ackermann, for allowing me this peace.”

Levi cried with her, he cried for hours. I held him to me, read from the Talmud because he asked. I tried to make him feel good. I was worried it had all been destroyed. But, then a few days went by and he was acting better. He was sharing his feelings. He put gloves on before picking cotton, he helped gather honey with the children, he smiled when his strawberries bloomed, he grinned when we spoke of the past, he started to feel again and I learned about the new and older Levi, so different from the one since he let me stay with him till we were 17. I had my Levi back and to this day I know that it was HaShem smiling on me. He told me about the nights and the pits, HaShem had saved him for a righteous purpose.

He got the tattoo, _Je ne regrette rien._ I sat next to him as I got my Star of David. We talked, laughed, made friends. We went out and got drunk on Israeli wine and life. I slept with a girl and it was horrible. We made it home and fell asleep in our shared bed. I was so poor at the time and barely had anything to my name. My apartment was welfare’s finest. He was suspicious as to why I was living like this since we were paid similarly. I didn’t have the heart to level on more guilt by telling him that his court fees had been hefty and I was living paycheck to paycheck. Family is family, regardless of money. He would have regressed if he’d found out and I hid it better than anything I’ve ever hidden to this day.

Levi woke the next morning, his face looked younger. I had to ask, “What brought you back?” Levi sighed, his eyes heavy, “New life.” He started skyping with Erwin and a person name Hanji. I could tell there was something there between them, something _beschert._ He would talk about them and what they thought about this and that. His conversations about Erwin, however, were more closed off, private. Erwin was a great secret that he was keeping. He was holy and untouchable. “What made you…snap do you think?” Levi inhaled smoke from the hookah they started, “He left me.” “When they decided to liquidate the camp?” “No, and yes. Before that…Once he…I don’t want to talk about it, David. I’m sorry. He left me once before and it crushed me. It’s when I realized that I was…attached.” “Attached how?” Levi’s eyes were glassy, “Attached. It’s my curse.”

I was going to let it go but he couldn’t, “Tell me the story, even if it hurts.” Levi rolled over, he was handsome and his form was coming back with food and rest, “I really don’t want to share the details. I’ll say this: He and I had gotten into a fight about…things. We were in the streets and he was pushing me and pushing me and finally I told him I didn’t give a damn and that I hated him. I said I didn’t give a shit what happened to him. I mean, I really gave it to him, ripped into him right where it would do the most damage. He seemed hurt and I told him to suck it up and just stay with the squad. However, I turned back around after a while, he was always talking to me and going on and on and when things fell silent I knew something was wrong.”

“He had gone to get a coke and then I saw them, people who were shady and wanted to get at him. You know Mossad assigned me to him, made me responsible for getting information from him and then killing him. Well, he’s not safe and there are people out there looking for him and these were some I’d seen in the packets of information about him. I yelled for him, screamed, my body was hot, I needed to get him back with me, make him safe. He said he’d never leave but he did and I needed to protect him.” I struck while the iron was hot, “But, you said you didn’t care.” Levi’s eyes widened, screaming, face red and purple, “WELL MAYBE I DO!” He rolled off the side of the bed and headed into the living room. I knew he needed space. His knowledge had come at a cost.

When I went inside he was at the table, envelope in his hands, “I’m going back to New York in two days.” I nodded, “Kenny, he,” Levi cut me off, “Was a good man. As good of a man as he could be I guess.” That’s true. Kenny wasn’t perfect by far but he’d done his best. “Should I go with you?” Levi started to cry, “No, but you…could pray for me. You can go back in the field when I leave…I won’t be such a burden.” If he was asking for prayers then he needed them, “I do that already, brother.” I sat down taking his hand and he squeezed it, “I wish you were my blood brother. I wish we’d grown up with my mother and lived happily. Do you think we’ll ever be happy? Do you think we’ll have our own families one day? I want our children to know each other.” This was amusing to me, “I had no idea. Are you planning on moving back here for a family? Nice Jewish girls are here…or boys.” His face was priceless, “I had no idea you knew I,” “Enjoy both. It’s fine. Why would it matter? I would very much like for us to be like that, Levi, together with our families one day. Let’s enjoy these two days and be happy.”

Now I am here, sitting with the doctor, “He’s lost his memory, well, everything from the last four years.” _Four years, that puts him right when he was coming back to New York. Or maybe before it. Oh…”_ This needed to be handled with care, “Tell me everything, I am responsible for him.” David meant it. Eren was outside and Hanji was too. David had taken control and he would do so from now on. The doctor knew them well, he’d helped handle the situation with Eren and Marco/ He sat back in his chair, looking around, “Wow, Mr. Lavie...Are you your brother’s keeper?” David felt like this was an important moment in his life, “Yes, I am my brother’s keeper.”


	103. Erinnerung

David told Eren and Hanji that the seizure had caused memory loss. Perhaps, given Levi’s history, it would return like his hearing and speech but only time would tell. He had an idea of what type of state Levi would wake to and he asked that they not see him till he evaluated him and understood the nature of his memory loss. Eren was beside himself, “Me…he won’t remember me.” David felt the weight of his sorrow, “HaShem is with us. It will work out.”

***************

Levi opened his eyes, soft white and the beeping of machines, his legs were hard to move and his head felt fuzzy, “Achki.” He knew that voice, “What’s…wrong with me, David?” David reached for his water bottle offering the straw to him. Levi drank the water with glee, pulling away with a gasp, “Where am I?” David paused, “Hospital.” Levi’s eyes narrowed, “Where?” David blurted it out, “America?” A look of shock and horror, “Why?!” David sat back, _shit,_ “Oh, I’m sorry, you were moved from Israel to America for treatment and on orders of Shin Bet.” Levi paused, mulling it over, “Oh, oh, okay. What happened? Why would they move me?” “You had a seizure.” “HaShem…where is…he?” “David rolled his eyes, trying to act nonchalant, “He’s still with them being interrogated. Levi, what’s the last thing you remember?” 

Levi paused, “We were…in the fields and then Ori’s birthday party…that night. That’s what I remember.” David was thankful for that much but that meant that he was stuck a week before he left for New York. “Achki, rest, take it easy.” Levi nodded and laid back down letting his eyes close. David texted Eren, “Where is Erwin?” Eren’s reply came quickly, “We still don’t know.” _Fuck._ He’d just have to go along with everything as planned and make amendments where he could.

******************  
 _ ****_

A week of Levi’s experiences

David was sitting at the side of the bed with a crossword puzzle that he and Levi were working on together as a form of therapy. Levi was still very weak and cloudy but his mind was improving. A positive result thanks to David’s containment of the situation and careful maniputations. He had a card up his sleeve today as the door opened and Hanji came inside dressed in their lab coat.

Levi’s eyes sharpened as he saw them and they smiled, “Mr. Ackermann, I have a surprise for you.” They had the leash of Donner and when he saw him he leaned forward, IVs painfully pulling but he didn’t care, “DONNER!” His voice was ecstatic, like a child, and Hanji wanted to cry because he didn’t remember them but he did Donner. Donner had only been returned to him after he came back to the states and they had been there for it. It was just as emotional the second time.

Donner hoped up on the bed and licked his face all over while Levi smiled and rubbed his fur, indulging in it. Donner was so happy to be with Levi and Levi threw his arms around his neck, “I love you, Donner. God, I’m so happy you’re okay. I love you.” He buried his nose in his hair and Hanji turned to leave, tears streaming down their face. David chopped it up to half of a win.

************************

Hanji came back one more time. They had a wild card themselves: Mila. Mila immediately cooed when she saw him, “Leevee.” Levi’s head turned, amused look on his face. He was clearly pleased by the little girl and Hanji laughed uncontrollably, “OH HAHAHAHA She loves that name. We have someone in our family that you resemble and your name is Levi and theirs is too so HAHAHAHAHAH.” Levi found this doctor a bit unconventional but there was something about them that he really liked.

David was leaned back in his chair, calm and controlled as normal. “Dr. Zoe, I need to speak with you for a bit.” Hanji walked over to Levi checking vitals and such before Mila nearly crawled out of their arms and onto the floor. It would have been a painful fall. Levi moved forward to catch her, “Shitty glasses, you almost dropped your kid.” They were so excited, “Levi!” He looked perplexed before snapping back into a more sedated sates, “Oh, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. It was…rude or whatever...” He looked at David who sighed, “Yes, manners Levi.”

Hanji dumped Mila on the bed in a last ditch attempt, “Could you be a dear and watch her real quick?” Levi started to object and they raised their hands in a pleading manner, “Just for a sec, pretty please” Mila was crawling into his lap, “see she likes you.” Hanji left with David and they both hoped this would be the break through.

When they returned almost thirty minutes later, Mila was sitting facing Levi as he made faces and she babbled, “Leevee Leevee Leevee.” When she saw Hanji she changed to, “Mama, Leevee, Dav.” Levi quirked an eyebrow, “Dav, for David….” He held his breath watching as Levi stared intently at her, “This one, she’s smart. I like her.” Well, so much for that. Mila at least seemed pleased as she crawled into his arms while Hanji turned to leave and squall in the hallway.

*************

David had fallen asleep in the chair while Levi watched television. He’d had therapy and was exhausted, fading in and out until David passed out from his daily and nightly vigil. Keeping an eye on Levi and making sure his little ecosystem wasn’t destroyed was taking its toll, not to mention the problems with Eren were getting overwhelming. Eren had taken it all in stride; he trusted David. David was consistently awed at his faith in him. He was just so tired that he neglected his phone for once and finally fell asleep.

He was awoke later by soft touches. He smelled her, knew her in an instant. She was standing before him with two white take out containers and a large _ice tea, maybe?,_ “Someone told me you weren’t eating.” She smiled softly, her stomach round and inviting. She was dressed to kill, this wife of his. She handed him the containers, “Here’s the lemonade you like.” Oh yes, better than the tea, “Toda, Mikasa.” She smiled, “The top container is for him. Hospital food gets old. Lylah Tov, Daveed.” And then she was gone. She must have really been worried about him to come and he could tell she purposely avoided certain topics and words because of Levi being there and his condition.

Levi looked over, “Food for me?” David smiled, “Yeah, this is really good stuff. I tried it the other day.” He lied but Levi never could really tell when he was. David rarely did, so he sometimes was graced with blanket protection and exemption. Levi opened the container and smiled, “This is…amazing….is this kosher? Wait…” David looked over, “Oh, that’s different from mine.” David noticed it was homemade kosher creations by Eren Ackermann, ballsy move but smart.

Donner whined, “David, I feel like I’ve had this before.” David held his breath, “Really?” Levi stared at the food, “Yeah…did we have something like this when we were kids?” David hummed, “Yes, we did. It looks like it’s,” “All of my favorites…wow.” He started to eat and David became downcast again, “That girl,” Levi began, “how do you know her?” 

David started to sweat, “I met her through Dr. Hanji. She has a kind heart.” He finished lamely, _that’s true but damn._ Levi nodded, “She’s really beautiful.” David’s heart thrummed and fluttered, “She is.” He tried to contain himself because what if he gave it away or worse what if Levi liked her? “It’s really too bad that she’s married. There was a real connection between you two.” He paused to take a drink of water, “It felt beschert the way you looked at her, really too bad. I think you missed out.” David tried to contain his amusement, “Why?” “Well, I see the ring and it’s huge. You’re much to conservative for that. Plus, she’s pregnant and looks like a happy woman. Too bad, maybe she has a sister?” 

David snorted, “A brother.” Levi smirked, “Really?” David laughed, “Yeah, adopted though, they don’t look alike.” “Oh, well, I’m going to need you to describe him in detail.” David smirked, “A little mystery is what I’m going to leave.” Levi snorted, “He must be ugly if that’s what you’re saying.” David couldn’t help himself, “Absolutely homely.” Levi made an “Eeek” face before returning to his food. David chuckled quietly, amused at his fun from Eren’s expense, _poor Eren. If Levi only knew._

******************

David and Levi were discussing something when he realized that the TV was potentially going to destroy his plan. Luckily, Hanji had it turned off and claimed that it needed repairs but could play movies just fine. David was going to have Eren bring a bag of movies and until then he needed to find a way to keep Levi from insisting on a newspaper. “I just want to read the comics.” Levi pouted and David rolled his eyes, “Listen, I was told not to give you one. Why even ask me for one?” Levi was sour, “Because you read the paper, every single day and you have one on you at all times.” 

David was relieved to hear the knock on the door. He opened it and Eren was standing there, shyly with his eyes cast down. He held the bag, slightly curled in on himself, “I h-a-ave the m-m-ovies.” David wanted to weep. He was trying so hard not to look at Levi it hurt David. “Toda, Eren. I appreciate it.” Eren nodded, “Al-lo Davar, David.” (You’re welcome) David smiled and so did Eren, looking up slightly. David turned, hand going to the door knob, “Keep me posted. Come get me if anything changes.” Eren nodded, “I will.” And then he went off back down the hallway.

David shut the door and turned around. Levi’s face took him by surprise. It was brighter, eyes wide, small blush on his cheeks, and he looked very taken aback. David went over putting in a season of “The Nanny” because yes, this is how he perfected his English by watching seasons of bad 90s sitcoms and to his rabbi’s horror, Nickelodeon cartoons. 

Levi cleared his throat, “So…who is Eren?” _You’re husband, your sweet husband that converted and lives a really Jewish life you dumb dumb._ “He’s Mikasa’s brother.” Levi’s face lit up in understanding, “You said he was homely.” David’s lips turned upwards, “Is he not?” Levi snorted, “Asshole. You know very well he is not.” David shrugged, “He’s a nice guy.” Levi chewed the inside of his cheek, “Jewish?” “Yes.” “What sect?” “Reform.” “Really? Practicing?” David grinned, _wow this is really cute._ “Shabbat every Friday and occasional Sabbath services. He prefers to worship at home.” Levi cleared his throat turning towards the window, “Well, he sounds…like a brat.”

David wanted to laugh and laugh but he also wanted to cry. He was about to press it when the door opened again, “DAVID, PLEASE! UPDATES! I HAVE THEM.” Eren was flushed and out of breath, he was inside the room and pulling at David’s arm, “Okay, okay, okay.” David went out in the hallway with him, Donner following despite Levi’s call, “David, look.” He showed David his phone, “Take it.” “Stay with Levi.” He took the phone and pushed Eren towards the door, “Don’t tell him dates, nothing. Don’t say I’m married, nothing.” He left and Eren stared at the door with Donner nuzzling his arm.

Inside Levi was sour looking, “David what the hell!?” Eren stepped in, “Sorry, he’s…well it’s complicated. I can’t say much.” Levi stared, he was summing Eren up and Eren felt himself squirm under his gaze like he had two years ago in the lab. Now, his husband didn’t know who he was or even that they were married. “So, you’re Eren?” Eren nodded, “Yeah.” Donner nipped at his hand and he looked down smiling before hugging him and letting him lick his face excitedly. Levi’s face was similar to what it was the first day they met and Donner stood by him at the car in front of the Irish pub, “My dog likes you.” Eren giggled, “I like him.”

Levi’s stomach fluttered, _bratty ass kid, your smile is amazing._ Eren sat in David’s chair, “David says you’re Jewish.” Eren nodded, “Yeah, I like it.” _What did that even mean, Eren? Damn you’re so stupid!_ “You don't have to stay." Levi said quickly and regretting it immediately, _Damn, why did I say that?_ "David told me to stay." Eren said defensively and a little hurt. Levi signed trying to not be so mean, "What do you do?" "Student." A long pause, "In what, kid?" Eren jerked, "V-v-veterinary S-science." Levi stared, that stutter was cute as hell and that fit him, "You like animals. That's nice."

"I really do. Right now, where I live we have a cat, a dog, a deer, and a horse but really I want way more." Eren proceeded to tell Levi all about animals and talk his head off. Obviously animals were safe right? _Tots._ Levi listened and Donner eventually came to lay his head on Eren's lap, "You want to walk?" Donner nicked his head up twice, "Okay! Let's go." Eren stood up but Levi's face made him pause, "Why did he ask you? I don't understand..." Eren needed an excuse, "He's been staying with me. Until you got here, he stayed at my house because Dr. Zoe doesn't have room and my house is huge."

Levi regarded him suspiciously, "I feel like no one has told me the truth since I woke up." He grumbled and groaned as he started to move off the bed. Eren started to freak out, "What are you doing!?" Levi hid his smirk, "Well, if you're a dog walker you can be a Levi walker, too. I need to get up and move or I'll go crazy. It's been almost a week." Eren helped Levi off the bed and Levi's heart fluttered at the care Eren used, "Be careful," he whispered and Levi was touched by his sincere tone.

Eren led Levi down through the hallway and outside in the nearby park where patients could walk and get some sun and fresh air. He was moving well, just stoved up. He wanted to stop and sit on a bench and they did. Levi was different, better, but different and Eren didn’t mind it as much as he had thought he would. Levi sighed, "So, you work for?" Eren didn't have to lie actually and that made him perk up, "Shin Bet." He kept his voice low and Levi's body shifted, "You like it?" Eren smiled, "They've saved my ass so yeah, I like it." Levi snorted, "Good reason. They did the same for me....but they also kind of....got me into some trouble." "Do you blame them?" Eren had always wondered if Levi thought Mossad and Shin Bet were the ultimate cause for all of this, the masters of his pain.

Levi shifted, "No, I....I actually thank them because I think...I think I'd be dead by now. I think I would have been killed or be in jail and this has given me an interesting opportunity to start over and have a new life." Eren smiled, "That sounds fantastic. I hope it's everything you want it to be." Levi gave him a strange look and then Donner was whining, "Is it your anxiety?" "How did you know?" "Hanji and David told me." "Oh. Yeah. You're not so bad…” Eren’s cheeks warmed and Levi smiled internally, “for a brat." Eren’s face lit up in outrage, "A BRAT?" Levi smirked, "Let's go before they think I've run away." 

Eren took Levi back inside and they continued to speak. After a long time had passed Levi noticed something, “So, I see you’re married.” Levi sounded a bit disappointed but inside Eren was dying, “Yeah. I am.” He smiled sadly while looking at his ring. They’d removed Levi’s thinking that he might have to have surgery and Eren had it at home. Levi smirked but it was a defensive one, one born of a life always being ironically bad for him, “Too bad.” He mumbled, his bitterness bleeding through, “What’s he like? Rich? He’d have to be to put up with a brat like you.” Levi was a little more than bitter. He’d enjoyed Eren and felt like there was something there. Okay, he’d felt something a little more than enjoyment or liking. He really felt like the boy with the green eyes in front of him was heaven sent. Eren found that a little amusing, “He’s rich now, but he hasn’t always been.” 

Levi snorted, _of fucking course._ “What? Did he only have 1 million when you met him and now he has many millions?” He asked sarcastically and watched as Eren’s eyes softened, “He was dirt poor, lived on the streets sometimes. He was involved in all kinds of…less than respectable things. He had a hard life and actually doesn’t even really like having money. He likes it sometimes, because he can take care of people with it but he isn’t oblivious to sickness many with money have.” Levi found that interesting, he thought of Erwin, “My…friend…he’s really rich.” Eren perked up, he knew he was referring to Erwin, “Oh, and let me guess, for him money grows on trees and he uses it to buy whatever he wants?” Levi smiled, “Yeah.” “I grew up cushy, I drive a Porsche and my father is a Doctor and mother a stay at home mom. But, they worked hard for all they have and they made sure I knew it. I’m a little removed still, though. Not my husband, he’s grounded and he believes a man’s word and deed is worth more than his money.” 

Levi felt strange, “Tell me more about him.” Eren smiled and it hurt him. He wished this boy smiled for him like that. He barely knew him but he felt like he’d known him his entire life and more. He was beautiful and loving, and sincere, and caring, and more. “He’s a great man. He’s very reserved and thoughtful. A lot of people think he’s grumpy and sour but I see through that. He’s had a hard life and that means that his walls are up and there are many of them. I like that he lives a life without regret. He makes choices for us that really have our best interest at heart. He loves so deeply and does anything for those he loves. He is loyal. His voice is beautiful; I love to hear him sing. He’s really smart, has a lot of degrees and he supports me and my dreams. He was a field surgeon in the military and now he does research at the university. We’re expecting a child and we’re super excited about it. He’s also fucking hot and snarky sometimes.” Eren finished suddenly, aware that he was going on about the very man before him. He tried to cover it up with a laugh. Levi’s eyes were owlish as his blinked, “Too bad.”

Eren was puzzled, “How so?” Levi suddenly answered, “Too bad because even though he sounds like an alright guy you’re not beschert.” Eren wanted to vomit; his entire body was shocked, “Really? How do you know that?” Levi blinked; face unreadable, “Because you and me, we are beschert.” 

David sent a text saying he’d pulled up, the beep made Eren jump. Eren wanted to cry, well he was crying. “Well, that’s certainly a plot twist isn’t it?” He wiped his eyes and Levi handed him a tissue from the box near him, “Yes,” he paused, “ but, tell me, why are you crying?” Eren shrugged, “Why are we beschert and not my husband?” Levi hadn’t meant to say it but honestly the more he talked the more he felt this…this intangible things swell up in him and he knew that this was the love of his life. It didn’t make sense but he’d heard people say “love at first sight” and even David seemed to be a believer that when you meet the right person you’ll just know. He’d thought he was stupid but now with Eren he just felt like he’d been swept up in the tide of emotion called love. He wondered if Erwin would like him, wondered if Erwin would be mad. But, despite that he knew that this was something special. Levi felt things….felt things he’d never felt before and he didn’t want him to leave, “Because if we weren’t you’d have already stormed out of here at the mere accusation.”

Eren’s chair was close to the bed and he leaned forward, eyes wet but lips curled up at the edges, “You’re cocky.” Levi smirked, “So are you, brat.” Levi leaned forward, taking Eren’s face between his hands. Their lips brushed back and forth for a few seconds, both of them savoring what was about to happen. Levi’s lips covered his, thumbs stroking his cheek bones. He kissed him slowly, softly, and then he deepened the kiss, tongue swiping his bottom lip, entering Eren’s mouth and drawing out a startled and pleased sound. Eren’s hands covered his as they kissed each other breathless, passionately. He hoped Levi would remember, he hoped that this would help. He also wished that they were at home, with their family, and this was just something they were doing in their bedroom while Netflix was on and the fire place warm.

Eren pulled back and a few short moments later David entered. Levi’s eyes were focused on Eren as Eren stood up petting Donner, “I need to take care of Isi. Thank you for your help, David.” David smiled, “Thank you for staying with Levi.” Eren waved at Levi, “Bye.” Levi tch’ed, clearly perturbed Eren was leaving without saying anything about their kiss. He felt scorned.

Eren road home touching his fingers to his lips softly and tried to remember what Levi’s lips felt and tasted like. At least amnesia Levi felt their connection. Maybe there was hope. ******** 

The next day David called Eren, “Eren, please come and baby sit again. I think I have a lead.” Eren pulled on his clothes. The house was so empty and cold without Marco, Jean, everyone. Isi and Commander did a good job of keeping him company at night but he missed Levi. What if he never remembered? What if he remembered and went crazy again? What was happening? He drove to the hospital and had Mikasa on speaker phone, “Eren, just give it time. David is worried that Levi is developing schizophrenia. He is teetering on the edge and he doesn’t want him to have a break just like you don’t. He’s trying to ease him into it all.” Eren felt the danger of that word, _schizophrenia._ “Well, that actually scares me but makes me feel better because I really didn’t know what was going on in his grand scheme.” Mikasa smiled, he could feel it, “He’s a great man.” Eren made a gagging noise, “Someone’s pregnant.” She giggled, her voice amused and playful, “I AM!”

Eren showed up and opened the door to a very upset Levi. “H-h-e-ello-o…” Levi looked at him, “So, how about you tell me how I’ve lost almost four years of my life?” Eren went stiff as a board, “What?” Levi ripped the newspaper off of the tray, “The nurse gave me a newspaper when she delivered my breakfast. Say’s here the date is,” “I know what they date is it’s just…it’s complicated and we’ve been trying to keep you from experiencing any more stress than necessary, do you understand?” Levi frowned, “Of course I understand!” He was angry that they had all been lying to him. Eren pulled up a chair.

“You came to America over two years ago and stayed two months in New York. Then you moved here, Maria, and started working at the university while living with Erwin.” Levi’s eyes were full of electricity, “Where is he? Why hasn’t he visited?!” Levi was almost coming out of the bed, “Because we were worried that he’d make you remember things, bad things. He was concerned. I was concerned and so was David.” Levi was really upset, “WHO ARE YOU TO DECIDE THAT!?” Eren wanted to get mad, so mad, and in truth his anger flared but there was a moment where it gave way and his tears came and they came fully. He let his head fall in his hands, “Levi, I’m…” Levi covered his mouth, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scream at you. You were all right and I know that. I might have thought about…well, I’m there. I’m right there back where we left off, back in… when I was…living in a cell… oh HaShem…. What’s happened in four years? Will I ever remember? I guess that’s what they’re saying.”

Hanji stepped inside, “Eren, why are you crying.” Levi looked at them, “Dr. Zoe…take your glasses off, let your hair down.” They did so and Levi scrutinized their face, “We…talked on skype. I remember.” Hanji smiled, “Well, only about twice before you came to New York. That’s when we really starting talking.” Levi kept staring, trying to remember, “I had….and affection for you.” Hanji cackled, “Affection? Damn, you’re so bad with your feelings. You came down to Maria and we were in a committed relationship for almost nine months.” Levi blushed, “The little girl?” “Not yours but you wish. She loves you. It was my wild card. I thought if you saw her, well, we all thought, you’d remember everything. You delivered her, saved my life and hers. You’re her favorite thing in the world and most beloved uncle.” Eren was still crying but he managed a smile at the sound of Hanji’s sweetness.

Levi grinned, but then he was distracted by the beautiful boy with viridian eyes, “Brat, why are you crying?” He didn’t mean to be so snappy but Eren was a symbol of something larger. Ever since he kissed him he wanted him, needed him, and knew he was in love with him, like some child’s fairytale prince charming. It hurt when he pulled away and Levi knew he was going home to his husband. He wasn’t his, he belonged to someone else. He was clearly in a happy and healthy and loving relationship, the way he spoke of his husband made Levi realize that no one spoke of him like that and Eren never would. He was once again denied happiness. His beschert, his ahuvi, was gone and he’d never even had a chance. Eren wiped his face, “Because…it’s so complicated.” Hanji stepped forward, “I think I can help. Eren is upset because you don’t remember him. It hurts me but Eren is your husband Levi, you two are married and expecting a child.” 

Levi was stunned and Hanji knew it, “Levi, take a moment. I know this is really overwhelming but you’re a doctor, you now can see why we were doing what we were doing this week. You don’t have any idea how MUCH HAS HAPPENED IN FOUR AND A HALF YEARS. To tell you would be too much. We did this to keep it contained and work on trying to get you to remember naturally and easily.” Levi held up a hand, “I understand and I thank you, Hanji.” Hanji’s face lit up, “AAAWWWW THAT WAS SO NICE! YOU SAID SOMETHING NICE TO ME!” Levi deadpanned, “Shut up shitty glasses and stop wearing those you’re too pretty for them.” He lowered his hand turning to Eren and glared. Eren swallowed, visibly uncomfortable, “I’m married…. _to you?_ ”

Eren opened his eyes, “Yes, we got married in May, well no, actually we got married before that but it was a secret. May was our family ceremony.” Levi looked amused, “What? Why?” “You married me so I could get a passport for Israel.” “Really?” “Yeah.” “And we’d been together?” “A year.” “You married me after a year?” “Yeah.” “Wow…you’re an idiot.” Eren smiled, “Yeah.” Levi sat back, head resting on his pillow, grin on his face and look of utter disbelief, “I’m married,” he said the words carefully, slowly, like he could not believe it, “to you?”

Eren smiled, “Yes.” Levi smiled brightly, “No!” “Yes!” “Nooooo, to you?” “Yes, you’re married to me.” Levi sat up more, bed shaking as he threw his hands down popping the bed covers, “WHAT! There’s just no way!” Eren smiled so much his cheeks hurt, “You asked me. I said yes.” Levi spun his head around, “I’m married to you. You’re…you’re fucking hot! You’re goddamn gorgeous. Look at you, you’re beautiful and so damn, my HaShem, you’re out of my league.” Hanji was cackling, “Oh this is hilarious.” Levi kept on, adding in a whisper as if he was letting Eren in on a secret truth, “Eren, you’re damn sexy.” Eren blushed, covering his face, “Thank you. Wow.” Levi gaped openly before throwing his hands down again, “I mean, I’m married to this!” He turned to Hanji and motioned at Eren with his hands, “Can you believe this? I’m married to him!” Eren loved every second of this but it was a bit embarrassing with Hanji gaze. Levi turned back to him, serious look on his face, “Do you like me?” Levi said in wonder.

Eren perked up, “Of course, _I love you._ ” Levi’s eyes were wide like saucers, “Me!? You _love_ me?” Eren leaned forward, “Yes, with all of my heart.” Levi paused, “Do we have sex?” 

Eren laughed and so did Hanji, “Uh yeah, we do.” Levi smirked, “Like, a lot?” “Yes, a lot. You attacked me when we first started…whatever you wanna call it dating or whatever.” Levi smirked so much more, “How much is a lot?” Eren demurred, “It’s a lot, trust me.” “And we live together and you love me and you married me and you’re my husband, _mine?_ You’re really mine?” Eren opened his wallet and took out his passport card for Israel and his American driver’s license, “Look, neshama.”

He paused when he saw the cute blush on Levi’s cheeks, “Yes, I call you neshama and you call me ahuvi.” Levi took the papers and audibly gasped, “IT SAYS ACKERMANN! YOU TOOK MY NAME?! YOU TOOK _MY_ NAME! You love me!” Eren stood up and leaned over hugging Levi, “Levi,” he started to cry, “I love you more than words. I’ve always loved you and will always love you. I want you to remember, because we’ve had so many good times and I mean, god, our wedding was so amazing,” he got really choked up, “but if you don’t then that’s fine because we can make new memories and maybe some of the bad things need to be forgotten,” he was sobbing and Levi pulled him into the bed with him. Hanji wiped their eyes, “What Eren is trying to say is, we’re all here and regardless of if your memories come back or not we love you and will simply reform or forge a new friendship with you but there are a lot of things that are currently going on that are bad and we don’t want you to be blindsided but you will be.” 

Levi kissed Eren’s temple, “I can do anything with a beautiful and loving person in my life such as you, Eren. If the memories don’t come back, then I can’t wait to get to fall in love with you all over again.” Eren clutched him to him, “God, I need you Levi. I need you.” They all had a good cry for a while and then as Eren calmed, his face pressing into Levi’s shoulder as Levi carded his fingers through his hair Levi remembered something, “We have a child?” He sounded flabbergasted.

Eren sat up, “Yeah, it’s only about 11 weeks along.” Levi blinked, “Where is she, the surrogate?” Eren blinked and Hanji sighed, “Oh, okay this is going to sound crazy but you don’t have a surrogate in the traditional sense. I was going to be that person BUT WE MADE AN ARTIFICIAL WOMB!” Levi nearly blacked out from the implications, “MY CHILD IS FLOATING IN A FAKE WOMB!? IS THAT EVEN SAFE!?” Hanji slapped their hands together, “Oh yes! We’ve won many awards and grants and we have had many live animal births in them but we just had a successful human birth and now yours and…someone else’s but you don’t have to be concerned with that, is being born in February. By the way, 40 weeks in a human gestation cycle is actually just 32-35 weeks in the womb cycle. We’re not sure why but they seem to form quicker and maybe it’s because they have everything they need by the book to grow. Either way, it’s all good and safe and yeah. Also, we made germ cells from Eren so it’s literally genetically both of yours.” 

Levi was quiet for a long time while Eren snuggled closer, “Do you want to see it?” Levi blinked, “Of course, I want to see it! I want to see…” Levi started to cry and Eren held him, whispering, “The Ackermann name will not end with you. They will stand for you and all of the others.” Eren kissed him as he cried, “HaShem…you really do know me.” Eren nodded crawling backwards off the bed, “Come on. We gotta break you out of this pony show and head to the university.” Hanji stood up, “I’ll drive. You two are too emotional.” Eren laughed, “Is that why you’re crying?” “I AM ONLY HUMAN!” 

Levi and Eren were snuck out and into Hanji’s car. They drove them to the university and Levi was shaking. Donner made his noises and seemed happy that both of his owners were now back and touching each other. He loved Eren and Levi. Donner shipped them, as Eren would sometimes tease Levi by saying to earn an eye roll and quick spank. Levi’s anxiety was rising, what if he never remembered? What had happened to them that was so bad? Four years and he had had a secret marriage, made a child, and where was Erwin? “Where is Erwin?” Hanji paused before turning the car off, they needed a good lie, “He’s taking some time to himself. We’re trying to get him to come back but he’s tired, Levi. You forgetting, it fucked him up. So, he’ll probably come back soon, especially after we tell him you’re doing better. But, really, we’re all listening to David.” 

Levi chewed his lip, “Well,” Eren braced for it, “if he’s behind it then that’s okay.” Hanji turned around, “Why? I’m curious. We don’t know David super well still and I’d like to understand you two better.” Levi looked around at the school he didn’t remember, “He’s my brother, and he’s my keeper.” Hanji pursed their lip, they didn’t get religious but, “You know, Cain killed Abel.” Levi looked around, “I know but he did not want to Abel’s keeper. David, he could have killed me, but he chose to rise above and he became what Cain should have become.” Hanji and Eren felt the weight of that statement, _David could have killed Levi and chose not to. There was a time when this choice was made. What on earth happened?_ “Well, let’s try to remain positive. We can get that story later.” 

Eren held Levi’s hand as they walked to the nursery door. Hanji went inside first to take the “Smith” sign off of the other womb. They threw a sheet over it for privacy and then let them in. In their same handwriting they had above their womb “Ackermann.” Eren’s eyes watered and so did Levi’s as they looked at the womb. Hanji turned on the sonogram and showed them their forming baby. Donner barked and Eren turned to see Levi’s eyes wide and child like. His face was the definition of awe and Donner started pulling on his arm for him to sit down. Eren knew he’d pass out soon, “Our child…” his voice was labored, “is beautiful.” He passed out and Eren and Hanji got him back to the hospital.

****************

“You’ve put him on meds for schizophrenia.” Eren moved the bottles on the table. It’d been two days and Levi was doing really well, taking these meds even, and his memories had returned. “Yes, they’re just pre-emptive. He can go off in two or three weeks. He’s on a mild sedative and his anxiety meds are doubled till I think that he’s improving. You can of course report to me what you see.” Eren chewed his lip, “I wonder what did it?” David finished his coffee, “Well, the paper triggered it.” Eren leaned back, face looking disgusted, “What nurse would be so careless? We left explicit instructions.” David smirked, “Let’s just be thankful.” 

Eren looked up, he realized it at that moment, “You gave them the newspaper. You called me. You did this whole thing.” His voice trailed off. David was smart, very smart. He really was dark beauty Erwin. “How did you know it would end up like this?” “I just figured you’d end up telling him you were married. I knew last night I’d walked in on something because after you left Levi wanted to know everything about you and your husband. I figured you’re child would come up. Hanji would show up and watch. It was contained.” Eren smiled, “What did you think would bring him back? Just that?” “No. I thought you’d show him the womb. He’d never been so I thought a new life changing experience would act as a catalyst.” “Wow, David, you’re,” “New life. That’s what he said brought him back from the edge before. He delivered a baby girl, she died, when he was with me in Israel after they escaped. I thought maybe this new life would work because Mila didn’t. She’s too old. His child, however, unborn and new, was perfect.”

Eren grinned, “Thank you for giving me my Levi back.” David smiled, “I was just as selfish. I wanted my brother back.” Eren looked at his hands, “You’re his keeper?” “I am.” “You wanted to kill him.” “I did.” “You did not.” “I did not.” “Will you tell me the story?” David looked out the window sighing, “Why would you even want to know it?” 


	104. I love you, Lee/I love you, Erwin

Levi got to come home today and Eren was feeling a lot better about things. Levi opened up to Eren after some gentle prodding that for him it was a trigger for Erwin to push him away like he’d done. To tell him to leave him alone, that was unthinkable and it sent him into his trauma vortex where he lost himself back in Baidschi. Erwin had rarely ever told Levi such, so much so that the mere thought of it rattled Levi’s core, “He was always on me, Eren. He was constantly, “Levi, Levi, Levi, Levi.” I never knew any peace and sometimes that was good because I didn’t need peace, peace would have become oppression. His hands were always on me, his eyes trained, in the cell we were all we had and others were envious or even driven to suicide. He was my rock and I have come to lean on him and trust him implicitly ever since.” Eren had Levi in their bed, he was just tired, mentally exhausted. Eren had helped him wash and kissed him softly, open mouth, and carefully. He climbed in bed with him after he finished and sighed, “I have something to tell you, neshama.” 

Levi hummed, “It must be bad.” Eren shrugged, “Maybe. They’re coming home today. Armin called me, apologized and said it was serious and that’s why he hadn’t been able to before now. I didn’t get anything else out of him because he was tired and out of breath.” Levi didn’t react and his eyes stayed hazy. Eren didn’t like sedated Levi but at least it was way better than crazy sociopath Levi. His voice was curious, “Did he push the opening back?” Levi mumbled and Eren found that amusing and a little annoying, “Wow, what a question. Yeah, he did. Anyway, they’re coming home but are you going to be okay?” Levi moved closer to Eren, “As long as I have you, I have everything. I’m fine, I want to see them. I like Armin more than you because he’s much quieter.” Eren kissed him softly, “Grumpy old man. You’d miss me if I was quiet.” Levi smiled, “I would, so much. I love you.”

****************

When Armin came inside he was so tired he could fall over. He had Erwin on his back leaning against him, “Baby,” his voice was horrible; it was so croaky. His windpipe almost crushed was the cause. “Please, let me just…” Erwin was slumping down into the floor, “No, daddy, you can’t sleep here. You’re filthy, Levi would be mad.” Erwin wanted to cry at the thought, “H-how is he?” Armin cursed himself but he knew Levi would understand. He had to understand. “Better,” Armin wasn’t so sure, “I think. Come on, let’s get upstairs and bathe.” Armin helped Erwin up the stairs and into their bathroom where he ran the shower and washed them off. Erwin’s frame shook as he touched over his sore spots and wept as Armin told him about little things here and there.

Erwin’s arm was still messed up and he needed the serum to heal it. Armin had panicked that it was going to be like in the cabin with blood poisoning. Eren had some but Armin was too tired to go look for it. Erwin groaned and Armin turned around. He looked at Erwin, passed out in the shower and needing to be lugged into the bed and tucked in. He wasn’t tired enough to let it fester and hurt his perfect and handsome husband. He dried him off and pulled him into the bedroom, covered his lower half in boxers and was done with it. Armin pulled on one of Eren’s shirts from the hamper. He must not have done laundry and yeah it was gross but he loved the smell of him and needed his strength. He pulled on his running shorts and went to Levi and Eren’s room.

The word was on his mind, _Schizophrenia_ Levi was this close to developing it. _Schizophrenia,_ a life time of medications, therapy, unstable mood swings, breaks in reality, paranoia, and so much more. So what if he might develop a mild case? He’d never be trusted with his children alone. Levi wouldn’t be able to practice medicine. He’d be denied all the potential good and opportunities he deserved. David told Eren that the meds were pre-emptive and he believed him but Armin wasn’t so sure. David had given him a similar prognosis when he came back and the worked on his split from Armin and the Two Wolves. Levi’s state must be delicate, like when he had come back. Maybe if Erwin can explain it all he’ll come back but from now Levi needed rest and to be left alone. He needed peace and love. They all kind of needed that. What if he was just as fragile and developed it too? Would Eren and Erwin be able to handle that?

Armin went into their office shrugging off the sick feeling it gave him and looked around. Eren must have moved the safe somewhere else. He went into Eren and Levi’s room, they were in the bed, and cuddling. Levi looked gaunt, colorless, and sedated. He didn’t want to disturb him but he had to, “Eren, I need the serum.” Eren perked up and Levi rolled his head over, “Mami, you’re back.” Armin felt skittish, this was weird, “Yeah but you know…shit’s happened.” Eren got up, “Erwin’s arm?” He was moving towards him quickly, look of need on his face, “Yeah.” Levi flinched and Eren gave Armin a warning look, “Been a while but Erwin and arms is still a sore subject.” Eren pushed them into the closet finding the safe and got the serum handing it to Armin.

Armin nodded, “When he wakes up,” he began but stopped, “when we wake up,” Eren’s hands roamed Armin’s body, his voice low and upset, “Arm, you’re hurt, you’re bruised, lost weight, no color,” he said the words between kisses as Armin’s knees buckled. He kissed him, their lips moving against one another’s comfortingly, “I know,” Armin breathed against Eren’s lips as he melted more into his touch, “Eren, it was bad. We were almost, it…” He let Eren pick him up, “Armin I was so scared. I thought I’d lost everyone.” Armin’s muffled sob was drowned out by their kisses, the serum could wait for a little while, “Eren, we’ve got to finish it” Eren knew he was talking about it all, “or we’ll never know peace. Erwin and Levi, they can’t handle this anymore… I can’t handle it anymore.” Eren laid them both down on the couch in the closet, “I know but just shut up for now and let me love you.” He surged forward again, lips attacking and hands grabbing.

*****************

When Erwin woke up he was in bed but not with Armin. His arm felt healed and in truth it was and his body was healed too but tired, so very tired. Levi’s face rested on Armin’s pillow, softer but more sickly than before. Erwin felt horrible. He felt so horrible for what he’d done, what he’d been forced to do. He knew it would drive Levi to the edge but that was the choice, Levi alive and insane or Levi dead and gone. Erwin had heard the word _schizophrenia_ and he had wanted to die. Armin’s own struggle was revealed and that had him even more upset. Two people in his life could become mentally ill permanently and it was his fault, all of it. The Wall, his involvement, Armin becoming the Two Wolves, and now Levi’s psychosis and all they had been through, he was the root. He was the root of all of this sickness and pain. He would carry that weight with him forever if he developed it, if either did. 

He looked at him, his beautiful face he’d traced with his fingers for months. Levi was all he’d lived for, he was what made it worth it, all of this, this home, this family. He had been forced to hurt him and he would never forgive himself. He allowed himself to swipe his bottom lip with his thumb, ghost over his eyes feeling the lashes, he even traced down his jaw and across his neck.

He wanted to tell him everything but it would take so long and Armin wasn’t there to help him make sense of any of it yet. Erwin didn’t understand it, all that had happened was insane. _“He passed on. He was happy.” “Are you dead? Thank HaShem you’re not dead.” “What can wash away my sins? Nothing but the blood of Jesus.”_ Levi’s eyes fluttered open and he moved closer, “When you left me in Eygpt,” his voice was clearer than if he’d been in deep sleep. He must have woken and was simply resting, waiting for Erwin, “do you know why I freaked out so much?” Erwin was quiet, “No.” Levi’s eyes opened wider, he saw the marks on his neck, “Because there were people in the crowd from the wall that were following you and they nearly had you when you left me.You were going to die, like my mother, like Kenny, like my friends, like my squads, you were going to leave me forever and you said, you fucking said you wouldn’t Erwin.” 

Erwin didn’t know that, “Levi…I’m,” Levi went on, “I knew them. I knew them because they’d been in the file about your father. Dr. Jaeger and your father were working on lots of things, Erwin. A lot of people wanted you.” Levi paused, suddenly choked up, tears in his eyes, “I wanted you.” Erwin pulled him closer and he held him. Erwin was sentimental but also a little amused, “Lee, after all this time you’re finally admitting that my persistence paid off?” Levi laughed shortly, coughing, and crying still, “You’re such a smug asshole.” Erwin rubbed his back, “Did you kill them ever?” Levi shuddered, lips moving against Erwin’s skin, “Yes, I killed them. I strangled them, one in a bathroom in Cairo and the other in a boathouse in Denmark.”

Levi was so close to him, “I never believed anyone when they said they’d stay, or that they loved me, other than my mother of course. I never believed that anyone could ever feel anything for me other than hate or indifference. I never believed in anything that was hopeful or positive. But, then I was forced to be with you, get to know you, and you started to just wail on me with constant attacks of reaffirmations and then one day you got in and I believed you, I believe you.” Erwin carded his fingers through his hair, his voice low and sad, “I’ve made you sick.” Levi took a moment before saying sternly, “You’ve healed me.” Erwin didn’t think he had, his brow furrowed, he didn’t understand, “No, David said…” A sharp inhale, “What did David say?” Levi’s voice was curious and defensive and Erwin immediately backed off, “That I really upset you.” Levi relaxed, “You did. You nearly destroyed me. _But such is the nature of us.”_ Erwin kissed the top of his head, holding him so close that Levi made a small noise of happiness that was rare and lovely, “I love you, Lee. I love you so much. I’m sorry and I promise it was necessary.” Erwin needed to talk to David and soon. But for now he’d enjoy having a subdued and open Levi all to himself. “I love you too.”


	105. Returned

Armin and Eren made their way downstairs after they woke up. They had moved from the closet to injecting Erwin in their room and then to a guest room where they remained. Eren kept him close, hands ghosting over him as they bumped into one another, “Are we like they are?” Armin hummed, “Yeah. We are because every second you’re away I grow more and more anxious I’ll never see you again.” Eren stopped, he was working on cooking something for them to eat, “You really feel like that?” Armin nodded his head, “Yeah.” Eren turned on the stove, “I feel like that too.” Armin sat down at the table, “I love you. Never leave me.” Eren’s body shuddered, the phrase said exactly like Levi would say, _I understand him so much better now thanks to you, Armin._ “I will never leave you.” 

Armin bit his lip, “I almost developed it too, schizophrenia. I mean, I’m still teetering near it every time something happens that really traumatic from what David says but I don’t need medication….yet.” Eren wanted to vomit and Armin searched for the words to continue. A knock on the door made them both pause. It opened revealing David and Mikasa. 

Mikasa was so pretty and she glowed and Eren just couldn’t help but smile at the sight of her, “You’re so pretty, omg. But, Miki…it’s rough around here today.” She smirked, “I’m made of steel. Nothing scares me.” Armin got up walking over to them but stopped when he saw David pop around her, “Armin, you’re back!” David rushed over crushing him to him in a bear hug, “I am so thankful.” Mikasa sat down, “You two are here; so where are the others?” Armin and Eren exchanged glances, “I think they are still asleep.” The door opened again and Jean and Marco entered, “Have no fear, the fun has arrived.” Jean said entering and heading straight for Armin to attack him as well. Marco smiled, he had a package in his hands, “This showed up for Mr. Smith.” His voice playful and teasing.

Armin went over to see the package, his face lighting up, “I think,” he shook it, “this is a wedding present!” He squealed in glee, feet pattering on the floor, as he started to open it but the box was much too elaborate so he paused. Jean looked around, “DAMN, why is this so hard to open. Who is it from?” A voice pierced the room, “Do not open it.” Erwin appeared with Levi following behind cautiously. “Give it to me, please.” Armin handed it over and Erwin took it and disappeared. The room was quiet; Jean broke that, “Never a dull fucking moment here.” 

Levi walked over to Mikasa, “You look so beautiful.” She smiled, “So, you didn’t know I was David’s wife and I need to thank you because he came home after you informed him he’d messed his entire life up by not getting to me fast enough and has since then spent every minute making sure I am properly appreciated.” Levi grinned, “Apparently, I pointed out a lot of things that were so obvious it delighted many others.” Eren started to grin so much it hurt. 

Armin caught Eren’s face, “TELL ME!” Eren started to laugh as Erwin came back in, “Okay, so Levi couldn’t believe that we were married and he was just blown away and said the cutest but most uncomfortable things in front of Hanji.” They all spoke about how adorable Levi was and eventually they settled in for food. Levi came to help Eren make more than enough, his hands looping around Eren’s waist once finished as he pressed kisses to his neck and whispered sweet nothings to him.

They finished their breakfast and Jean and Marco made to head upstairs, “Loved living with y’all but I miss,” Marco interrupted Jean, “ _Home._ We missed home.” Levi and Erwin were really touched by that. Erwin smiled, “I’m glad you wanted to come back.” Levi kissed Eren more, “I’m glad you’re here, brat.” He whispered and Eren smiled to himself, “Shut up.” Commander and Donner came to greet Armin and Erwin. Armin picked Commander up, stroking his fur and cooing, “I missed you, sweetheart. I love you so much.” He gave Commander kisses while Commander mewled and purred. Erwin looked on favorably, “What do you think the animals will think of the babies?” 

Mikasa hummed, “Should be fine, actually. Isi might not get it because Isi is a deer but I think Isi thinks he’s a dog so who knows?” Levi sighed, “He’s getting too big for the house.” Eren made a crying noise, “He’s my baby. He is smol and this house is tol and it’ll be fine.” Levi snorted, “Use real words. Not those taghashes and tumbly post its.” 

Mikasa stood up, “I’m going to see mom soon and do some shopping. I can make a list or you could come?” Eren hummed, “Maybe. I don’t think so because I really want to do it with Levi alone. I want us to have no idea and just kind of experience that together.” Jean and Marco came back downstairs and the group paused. Jean sighed, “Sorry, but we wanna know what happened.” Marco added quickly, “Someone really nosy wants to know.” Armin snorted, “Marco…we know that’s you.” Everyone laughed as he shrugged and Jean turned around, “Told you they’d never believe you. I may be a lot of things but gossipy and nosy are not two of them.” Marco rolled his eyes, “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Erwin cleared his throat, “Well, it’ll take a while but…” He looked to Levi and Levi nodded, “I’m sedated. I think now is the best time.” David cleared his throat, “I’ll intervene if I think something is going too far.” They all paused again, silence heavy.

Erwin moved from the table, “Let’s go to the media room. We can spread out and lounge on the couches and Mikasa will be more comfortable.” Mikasa rolled her eyes, “Amazing how suddenly everything is about the pregnant woman’s comfort. It’s just you wanting us all to be cozy and settled in and not staring at you. But, I like the candy bar so I’ll gladly go down there.” Levi laughed shortly, “She sees right through you.” Erwin smirked, “I know. Damn.” They headed down stairs and all settled in with blankets and pillows before Erwin began, “Well, I should start from the beginning I guess…”

****************

Erwin was laying in bed enjoying his time with Armin. He was so cute tired and he couldn’t believe how lucky he was. Everything was wonderful. They were discussing cribs, looking online at things, and talking about names when they got home from dinner and Armin asked to curl up with him and a good book. The book turned into a documentary and now Armin was snug as a bug in a rug with Erwin happily being the rug he was snug in.

He wanted to make love to Armin, softly, slowly and make sure he knew how happy he was to be here and with him having a child. He leaned over and stroked his face. Armin smiled, “Do you ever think about when we first met?” Erwin smirked, “I think about how you radiated light when I walked in and almost blinded me.” “You used to woo me.” “Do I not woo you anymore?” “Not like then.” “We were coy with one another. We were trying to see if the other would bite.” “You bit.” “I did and it tasted so sweet.” Armin smiled, eyes tired and closing as he sighed, “We should spice things up.” Erwin chuckled, “Oh HaShem, are we in a rut?” Armin moved closer, “We should always been keepin’ it poppin’ daddy. When we have a baby we’ll be super busy but I want you to know that I still will want alone time and I will need that.” Erwin hummed, “You’ll have it. We’re raising them in a compound. There will always be a baby sitter.”

Erwin’s phone beeped and Armin whined, “Daddy, new rule, no phones in bed.” Erwin cut his eyes over, smirk playing at the corners of his lips, “Baby, you take selfies in the bed and send them to Eren.” Armin hummed, “Doesn’t count. That’s for fun and I am responsible. You are not and need this rule. Can we do a Shabbat rule?” Erwin was fishing for his phone, “A Shabbat rule?” “No phones on Shabbat. I’ll ask Levi and Eren. I bet they’ll like it.” Erwin checked his phone, “I gotta go baby. Some work I forgot about.” “It’s almost 9 O’clock, Erwin. What kind of work starts this late?” “Baby, don’t worry.” He leaned over kissing him, “You know I love you, right?” Armin scrunched up his nose, “Of course. I love you, too.” And then Erwin had to leave.

******************

Now he was here, in the woods, freaking out, covered in blood and unsure what to do. It started with an email, “What would you give for your country?” and then a link to a location that opened in his maps. He then received photos, them at dinner, Zadkiel before he left for Russia, and then pictures of him from childhood, his mother, and his father. He was disturbed by the ones of Armin, too. It seemed that these people knew where to hit him and they were involved in both of their lives. They crossed the line when they sent him photos of the lab door, _had they gone inside where the wombs were?_

Erwin drove out to Birmingham and parked where they wanted him to. It was dark and almost 11:30 pm. He missed Armin, so cute and now in danger again. They needed to stop this when they had kids. He wanted to become boring. Just call him big boring Papa. _Eeeek I don’t know about papa._ “Mr. Smith?” A man with a mask appeared. It struck Erwin more than it should. It was red fox and the man’s mouth was exposed beneath its snout, “Mr. Smith, I trust your drive went well?” It was this odd southern preacher voice coming from the man that surprised him more and it set him one edge, “Oh, come now, don’t be like that! I’m here to help you. You don’t know it yet, I reckon someone like you ain’t very trustin’, but I am here to open your eyes. I came personally, somethin’ I don’t normally do.” Erwin frowned, “Why?” 

The man smiled, “Don’t trouble yourself with that right now. Come on, get inside. Leave the key in the car and we’ll have it moved back down to Maria.” Erwin didn’t want to go with them and he froze. Why didn’t he just kill him now? The thought didn’t go far. A pistol was on his neck, “I see you’re still makin’ poor choices, boy…”Erwin blood went cold and the blaring sound in his ears made him want to feint but he didn’t. He moved forward. _Impossible. He’s dead. He’s dead. He’s dead. He’s dead. He’s dead. He’s dead…_ In the car, a black Lincoln town car, he managed to turn his head and see him, scars on his neck, skin palled like death, his face scared on the left side. “You miss me, boy? Wanna give me a kiss?” Erwin nearly threw up he was so disturbed.

The man in the mask shifted, “Hush, Musad, you truly are an untied camel sometimes. He isn’t that happy you’re still alive.” Erwin was reeling, “How are you alive?” He chuckled and it sounded like gravel, “God, he saved me. It’s that simple.” “You don’t believe in God.” “Not that God, not Allah. I believe in the God that lives inside of _him._ ” He pointed to the man in mask and Erwin started to feel like this was going to be one hell of a ride. He wanted to kill the man next to him but he was weak, caught off guard emotionally and it was fucking with him and his pyschosis. Where was Levi when he needed him? He remembered back to him taking his shoe laces and strangling that man on the floor and then Erwin had cut his face before they drug him out of the cell. The other commanders laughed and said he deserved it; he was weak if a Jew killed him. They drug him outside and they never saw him again.

Musad’s hand rested on Erwin’s knee and he felt himself start to well up inside. He needed out of this car, “Where are we going?” The man tilted his head to the side, “Have you ever felt lost, Erwin?” Erwin stared and the silence stretched on till it became blaring in its quietness, “Okay, I’ll bite, yeah. I have.” The man was wearing a white robe with gold embellishments. He laughed softly, “Because you’ve been away from the flock your whole life and that’s much too long. You’ve always been destined for greater things. What runs in your blood is royalty, the blood of Jesus Christ, the blood of King David, the blood of Moses, so many important tribes and blood lines all crossed at one point over and over and over” he kept crossing his hands over one another with each over, “and you are the product of it all. You can bring people together, unit them and that’s an important gift, you hear me?”

Erwin felt like this was going all the wrong places. He needed a plan, something that would catch them off guard. He started to think about letting them just assume he was falling under their spell, “I guess…I mean, my father told me I was special but all fathers tell their sons that.” Musad snorted, “Mine was an old religious fool.” He smirked and turned to face Erwin, “I’d have thought you were pretty special too, my sweet boy.” The man straightened his robe, tch’ing at Musad’s crassness, “Your father was also very special. I knew him.” Erwin perked up at that new information, “How so?” “We had a mutual acquaintance.” Erwin knew they were heading towards the north of the state, could see the signs for Tennessee and the rest of the ride was pretty silent save for Musad’s random cackles at nothing in particular. It was like being in hell being so near this man who’d violated him.

When they approached wherever it was they were going after almost two hours Erwin took the opportunity to start the conversation up again, “Where are we going?” The man answered rather quickly, “We’re taking you home, where I’d like you to maybe think of as home. Eventually we’ll bring up Armin. He belongs with us too. Only after you feel it out first and get things to your liking.” Erwin wanted to argue but that was the mistake all people made. They got hostile, scared, let their mouth run and it ran them right into the grave. Of course, these men weren’t stupid. When he didn’t react as normal, then they’d be suspicious and they had to know he was smart, more than smart. Erwin knew he wasn’t some average bloke with average intelligence so he had to lay a chess board here and he had to place them ever so carefully where he wanted them all while letting them place him. He had to build traps within traps.

“Did my father send you to get me?” He made his first move and waited to see how the board shifted. “He did, I have the letter he wrote leaving you in my care but only when you were ready. It’s in my room and when we get home I’ll give it to you. You’re ready and now you’re coming home and we’re so happy.” His voice remained that old Southern Baptist drawl and Erwin felt himself fall even more away from the faith of Mike and his father. His words were controlled; he feigned interested and touched, “I’d like that very much.” When they entered the compound there was nothing but trees and darkness for a long time. They passed through check points after check points until the car came to a stop. 

The door opened and Musad left the vehicle, extending his hand for Erwin who didn’t take it but slowly emerged alone to blinding white lights and rows and rows of people in old Germanic garb waving banners and ribbons like some Nuremberg recreation. Little girls approached him, hair in braids and flowers woven between the rows, their little smocked forest green and doily white dresses pure and childlike. Armin would have cooed at them had he been there seeing them. They handed him flowers as everyone, including a chorus of other children, sang and praised him. On the banners and on their tongues stood the words, “The king has returned.” 


	106. Interesting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A smol chapter because my summer classes are starting at 8:00 am tomorrow errr today and yes, on a Saturday....don't they know I have Shul on Satuday? It's going to be a rough weekend with little sleep.
> 
> I just want money.....and power.....and glory.....

Erwin was lavished with handmade gifts and sat at the head of the table in a long open air cafeteria. It was a large wooden covered pavilion with large oak tables for all to sit at and cool river rock tile. He was told happily by a woman who sat next to him and served him that there was a similar table and set up inside but that the weather was so nice so often they rarely used it. He noted the mosquitoes and asked for bug spray but she merely smiled coyly and said that they used natural remedies and started sage-ing him. It would work since it was smoke but he didn't appreciate it and he was thankful he was a pregnant woman. He watched those who were with concern.

Erwin pretended to eat, moving the food around on the fine plates of white and gold while little girls sang songs and the congregation danced in circles. He was in a cult, no denying that. Sure, they all took turns telling him about how this was a religion, the **true** religion, but he didn't buy that shit. Damn, Levi has to take this shit every day doesn't he? When people meet Jews don't they normally say thanks for laying the foundation but we must destroy your house to build our own? Everyone taking from them and exploiting them. Hell, he was Jewish. He was even more offended now because he didn’t feel like he was getting to know an authentic Jewish experience. And this woman who kept serving him and talking to him was absolutely horrid.

She was so sickening that eventually Erwin stood up in a fit of insanity that she drove him to with her flirty talking and only after the abruptness of emergency departure did the man in the mask walk over, “Hannah, please leave.” She stood up, “Yes, father,” and left. He took her place, “You can call me father. They all call me father here. We are a family.” He outstretched his arms in a gesture that meant to be all encompassing and welcoming. Erwin sat back down watching the celebration with some fascination, “Are you a father?” He smiled cheekily, “Unfortunately, no, not in the traditional sense. My late wife was barren but I loved her and stuck with her till she passed. I’m sure I have a few bastards now but I don’t know them so I just treat everyone like they could be my child. Seems safe, yeah?” Erwin managed a smirk, “Yeah, don’t piss anyone off so they don’t kill you later and state they did it out of neglect and unrequited fatherly love. Nice plan.” The man laughed good naturedly, “Exactly. I just care about love, honestly. Spread the love and it’ll all be fine. You were loved and you will spread love.” 

Erwin saw Musad and his body ached from old wounds, “Tell me why he’s here.” His demand was soft but the Father knew it had to be addressed sooner than later. The man leaned forward, “I found him in a ditch, barely alive. I saved him. It was the right thing to do.” Erwin stood silently as the singing continued and the flames from the candles and fire pits cast shadows occasionally on the edges of the congregation, “Where did you find him?” The Father moved to clasp a hand on Erwin’s shoulder moving closer, his words hushed and heavy with insinuation, “You know where I found him.” Erwin shivered and the man drained his cup of wine. “Come, dance and drink.” Erwin stood and did as he was told. The crowd cheered and he was treated like a God. Perhaps, it wasn’t so bad here after all?

****************

Erwin’s room was lavish with a large oak bed and fine embroidered fabrics. Everything else in the compound, however, was less so. It was much more barren and militaristic. Occasionally there were tapestries on the walls of scenes from the bible but none of the characters had faces. They just had bland flesh colored spaces surrounded by hair, “Idolatry, is a sin, you know?” Musad whispered against his neck and then he was gone. He knew he was being shown only what they wanted him to see. Women, men, children and animals all shared space like some ancient compound of squalor and they all seemed a bit too friendly. There were religious services, elaborate Israeli folk dances, and feasts every day. They said they would celebrate him for two solid weeks as was what was expected of them. Erwin asked the Father about the letter his real father wrote leaving him in his care and only on the seventh day was his request granted.

It wasn’t what he expected to find by any means. It was a ramble, looked like it had been manically written in haste. He saw the way his father’s letters trembled at the linked and looped together but there was something about the way the letters looked that made him ask to keep it. He was allowed to but with a cautious look. Erwin was still riddled with guilt after his call from Levi and didn’t want to bring any more shameful feelings his way. He had started to respect the Father and didn’t like to disappoint him. But it had been tense. 

He had been in his room and as his phone went off, Musad entered and so did the Father. “You were supposed to leave your phone at the charging station.” His pleasant tone fatherly and reprimanding. Erwin had been asked to leave his technology with the keepers at the front. All goods and money went towards the collective. Many gave up their entire life’s savings to the family and he had been expected to do the same by those who watched on in awe of the newly returned king. Erwin felt like a child caught with his hands in the cookie jar, “I needed to be able to talk to Armin.”

The Father nodded with a sad smile, fox mask revealing nothing of his real face, “Well, I’m sorry but we have a strict no technology policy. It isn’t godly.” Musad chuckled, “Not godly, boy. Hand it over.” Erwin didn’t want to, “If I don’t answer…” The Father moved inside deeper into the room, “I know you have to answer but you can’t say anything. Just to make things clear,” he dug in his pocket and revealed his own phone, “here is a live feed of your house and that,” he pointed to screen where it showed Levi was calling him through the window, “is where your friend will die once we kill him if you say anything other than leave me alone. We can’t risk anyone coming here and disturbing us. These people are here to heal, many of them have been abused and these children are sometimes in polyamorous relationships and that means the state will take them away and separate families that love one another. Do you have any idea how bad this could get and how bad that could be for these innocent souls? Do what you want…you’re the king. You know how a king should lead.” Erwin paused for a micro second before answering the phone and hurting the man who was a part of his very soul.

His phone was taken from him but he thought it was the best for the family.

***************

He had a chaperon wherever he went especially after the Father went away on a business trip. The convent received monthly letters called “Wall Letters.” They were supposed to be like the prayers many wrote on slips of papers and put into the Kotel. He’d been only once and it was after Armin died. He went to watch Levi pray at the Wailing Wall, his body moving in prayer, hands holding a Siddur and his face streaked with tears he thought no one could see, mouth open in a silent wail between quick moving lips that said ancient prayers. Now they were all reading them with fervor and many were looking for the hidden and higher meanings inside. Erwin would pass on it.

Except, he couldn’t. He was called on to read them aloud to the congregation while they honored him more. He was feeling the weight of it all on him and the way the children treated him pulled at his heart. He loved them and often played with them but the questions kept coming. Why was he a king to them? No one would ever answer him and he didn’t dare ask one of the regular religious members. He was further confused after he was asked to bless those with illness. He did it all because he couldn’t turn these people away. Their faces were so sincere, they honestly were in pain and needed help. He slowly started to give in and over the first week he became Jesus himself with his basket of fish and bread. Many reported the next day that they were improved and one ultrasound proved a miraculously recovered woman who had had caner. He felt like he was getting to know them all and become closer to them and their way of life.

********************

“What’s your name?” He asked one of the women serving him food, “Miriam.” It was the twelfth Miriam he’d meet. Everyone had some sort of Hebrew name. “Everyone here has a Hebrew name but you.” He turned to Musad who chuckled. He was Erwin’s body guard, returned with the Father and had been with him ever since. “Musad became Reuban. No one uses that with me, though. Musad sticks.” Erwin had never spoken with him about anything really other than the nasty small talk he’d made in the fields, “What’s your last name?” Musad paused, “You’ve never asked before.” “I know. I never cared. I don’t really care. I’m just curious.” Musad snorted, “Don’t play, you’re in love with me. You’ve always been in love with me and the way I make you feel.” He trailed off, licking his lips as he paused. Erwin wanted to knock his teeth out but he answered, “Braun.”

The name was unexpected, “Really?” He cut eyes at Erwin, “Yeah, boy. That’s my name.” Erwin’s brow furrowed, “I know a Braun.” Musad went still and calm, “That’s strange. What’s his name?” Erwin thought about his wedding reception and Armin’s petite jaw line and beautiful blue eyes, “Reiner Braun.” Musad smirked, “Interesting.”


	107. T V M

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smol update

__  
Kauna riv i nattevind kovnar ei av anden din.  
Isen smeltar av ditt ljos kauna røyner bleike spor.  
Kauna siv i løyndom inn lysar opp i auge skin.  
Elden rensar hugen min. Kaun, logen brenn!  


The Father came to get him and took him out into the main yard where they held their dances. He was asked to strip his torso bare and enter into a circle of people; a trail was being held. The Father stood at the center, “The trial has already been held. Today is judgment day and you must atone. Do you plead guilty to the crimes?” A man, covered in ash with his chest also bare had a stoic face, “I do.” The Father turned, “Then the punishment is clear. Blood Eagle.” The crowd gasped as the torches were lit. Erwin knew what it was. The Vikings had done it, or well, no one knew if they did but it was thought that they did. To see one would be an experience.

“Only I or someone of the royal line can do it. I am old. It is time that the punishment be carried out by a new generation. I have no earthly son but I do have one in my care, one that will rise and smite those who threaten us and he is here.” He turned, motioning to Erwin who nearly fell over in shock. _Performing a Blood Eagle would be even more interesting but…I don’t know about this._

“No, I couldn’t. I didn’t pass the sentence. He who passes the judgment should carry out the sentence.”

The Father smiled kindly, “That is wise, You are a most wise king.” The crowd cheered and applauded, “However, it must be you. I insist.” The man turned to face Erwin, “It would be an honor. I know my sins would be washed clean and my family would not be ostracized if the King did this.” Erwin felt himself swept up in the pressures and expectations. The entire situation had been very debilitating this week. He’d felt himself changing, becoming more in tune with them and what their purpose was.

The man’s name was Salem. His crime was complicated. His daughter had been betrothed and her future husband took his bride before her time in violence. He killed the boy, a first born. His daughter perished as well from shame. Her bastard was taken from her, some inside of the religion didn’t believe in the free love exchange and her child was seen as forbidden. She was now dead, the child dead, the family in shambles. They had tried to leave and Erwin didn’t know how he felt about it. It was tragic, more retribution followed and before the two families could be consumed entirely in a blood feud the Father intervened and brought them before the court. He was the judge, the trial, and the jury and now Salem had to answer for his crime.

Erwin’s fingers were steady as he moved the blade through flesh and sinew. It glided along in thin dark maroon lines, the blood oozing and pearling as it began to slide down towards the hem line. When he opened the back, exposed insides like some sort of bad gore horror film he watches with Jean on display, he saw the ribs and replaced his knife with a small axe. Its shape and tinge of metal worn grey shading made him think of Armin whose strong fingers could bend and manipulate the trajectory of his throwing axes with precision that amazed him. Armin amazed him and he pretended that in the corners of his eyes it wasn’t flames but his golden locks right before he leaned in fully, lips pouty, and breath sweet like honey, to twist the axe in his hands for better throwing. He imagined Armin’s ghostly kiss pressed against his neck.

Once the ribs were broken and opened he thought of Eren. He stuck his hands inside, felt the warmth and thought about how he’d watched Eren in surgery through thick plastic windows in an old vet clinic save one of Mike’s cows. Cows weren’t like horses but Mike had grown attached to this one in particular and Eren had pioneered a new technique that had made Levi grin ear to ear when he heard about it and saw the video Erwin took of it. He grabbed the lungs, they slid against the skin of his fingers, grey and purple, and black, and so many other colors that had melded together and turned maroon and red. It was something else entirely. He pulled them backwards and over Salem’s shoulders.

Then he thought of Levi. He stepped back and saw it, saw what he’d done. It was quiet. He felt like the air was being sucked out of his own lungs as he looked on. He was in slow motion. His heart beat _Levi, Levi, Levi, Levi._ He saw Levi before him, kneeling with raven wings spreading out and covering the edges of his eye sight. The labored breathing of Salem started to pierce the silence and shell shocked horror, _“What have I done?”_ And then he was gone, dead and bled out in front of his family, the family. Erwin Smith was applauded and he could swear he heard Armin’s voice, _“I am the devil.”_ It was like someone blew out a candle right near his ear, just a _woosh_.

When Erwin turned behind him to follow the air and the sensation he got he saw him standing there. Armin was exactly the way he looked that Christmas night. His shorts rust colored, soaking wet, bloody, hair matted together, eyes feral, legs bruised like war written on his skin. He gave him a strange smile that haunted him before saying, “I am the devil and I live in the atrocities that man creates. I live in the horrors you, Erwin Smith, propagate.” And then he was gone. 

*************

Erwin was considering staying as he walked along the halls of the compound. He kept reading his father’s letter. He was on his way to meet the Father and talk more about why they brought him here. It was coming up on two weeks and all he wanted was to talk to Armin but what about? How could he explain that he was considering joining this? Maybe this was the way and this was how the Smith line would begin again and they could fight the Reiss family.

The Father opened the door and Erwin sat across from him. “Erwin, I needed to talk to you about something important.” Erwin sat down in the office, “Do you have any siblings?” Erwin felt like this was a trap, “You know I don’t.” The Father’s lips twitched, “Are you sure?” “Yes…Zadkiel never,” The Father shuddered in disgust, “His name is forbidden.” He removed his mask and for the first time Erwin saw his face. It was a kind face, very kind. Light blonde hair, about the length of Jean’s before he trims the sides and spikes his faux hawk. His eyes were blue like the sky, blue like Armin’s and so sympathetic that Erwin lost himself. He moved in the chair, “He will have to answer for his crime and other national ones he committed against the country and family, Erwin. We can’t let it go unpunished nor can legislatures here in the states. Now that we know where he is we will have to bring him before a trial.”

Erwin jerked, “What other crimes could have Russia would never let you come in and,” He waved his hand cutting him off, “We will soon have the power and those crimes you will find out later. I have a brother, Erwin, I had another one and that’s why I brought you here. My brother Rod Reiss, do you know of him? He’s running for president.” Erwin wanted to burst into laughter at the thought. 

Yes, he’d become aware of the infamous Rod Reiss running for office just as the entire nation had. He was a man that disgusted and fascinated many. His speeches were loops of words that had no meaning. His promises were unoriginal and downright impossible to keep. He caught their attention after Levi and Armin started tracking down Reiss members. After their trip to New York they had a personal hatred of the senator considering his entire state was overrun by radicals and David refused to even discuss Rod. It made his neck veins buldge. Protests in the north east were increasing. Ferguson reminiscent protests was happening all over the country and white supremacist groups were committing right wing Christian terrorism left and right. He was their leader and their chosen political figure and his history under other politicians and presidents appealed to some left and center leaning voters. He was dangerous and he was slimy. How were they brothers?

“Once he becomes president we’ll have him brought to the states. But, outside of that riveting topic I had another brother.” Erwin was curious to know more about him just as curious as he was how embedded this family was in establishment politics, “Is he deceased?” The father rocked in his chair, “Murdered so yes, he is dead.” Erwin moved forward, “I’m sorry.” The Father gave him a pointed stare, “You killed him.” _WELL, that is certainly a plot twist._ “I….no.” Erwin just ended in disbelief and rejection of this new information. The Father shook his head and rolled his eyes, “Yes, Erwin, you killed my brother. Adam Arlert was my half brother and you killed him by shooting him in the head and then his wife, that was arguably a raging bitch according to others, but still she was a sister to me and treated me kindly, unlike the others. Their son, your current husband, is betrothed and you’re marriage is null in void in terms of the family.” Erwin wanted to hiss but he bit it back, “He is not.” The Father became solemn and harsh, “You are Marilyn Reiss’ son, who was my fourth cousin and should have become Lady Reiss. Your father was holy, a righteous man with thoughts that would unravel the mysteries of her power and your future. You are the messiah and future king of the family.” Erwin was stunned and just stared at him, “I’m not the messiah. I’m not a king and I killed your brother because he was going to hurt my husband and he deserved it.” The father looked angry for a split second, hot fire crossing his eyes.

The Father lifted his chin in a smug way, “Erwin, make no mistake, you are the messiah.” Erwin was silent until he continued, “You killed my brother Adam and thus, I will require blood payment, an eye for an eye. I’m going to kill Zadkiel for that reason, I’m going to annul your marriage and have Armin married rightfully, I’m going to offer you a platform to seize power as the King, I’m going to have you fulfill the doctrine and requirements of our religion because it is your religion, and I’m going to help you change the world.”

****************

On Erwin’s way back to his room he took a hallway that wasn’t familiar. He felt hollow and numb, his chest was heavy. He stopped, a feeling tugged at him. As he turned towards the wall he noticed a statue, resplendent and stately. He looked up and saw her beautiful face. He read the plaque before stepping back and thinking about it all. She was the holy virgin Marilyn, mother of the messiah and the mother of the king of kings. _Momma, who are you really?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kauna tears the nightwind  
> withers not in your breath.  
> The ice melts from your light  
> Kauna shows faint tracks.  
> Kauna enters secretly  
> lights up the eyes.  
> The fire cleanses my mind  
> Kaun, the - burns!


	108. Flirty Fishing

How did it all end up this way? Rod Reiss lost his mind at a young age. He used to sit on his grandfather’s lap and listen to him repeat the stories of their family and how the walls needed to rise, rise, rise up and consume the world, divide the holy from the wicked, split the world in three and make sure that those of the messiah’s flock would usher in the thousand years of peace. The ultimate goal was a utopian society on earth like revelations promised and who would do this? Jesus? Kinda…

Apparently, Marilyn was the product of a lot of good breeding that trickled down, down, down, until finally she met up with a man who carried just the right amount of other good crossed blood lines and then _BAM_ a baby boy who can not only control the coordinate if given it but can also convince the reluctant righteous to come inside of the newly built walls of _liberation_ …errr….or oppression depending on how you feel about it.

Marilyn turned Rod down in a blaze of embarrassment and his brothers Uri and Adam couldn’t blame her. Rod was off and everything that happened to him pushed him further and further to the edge. He took a wife eventually and then a mistress. But, the family has been and always will be about free love and missionary conversion. That’s how Armin’s parents met one another. His mother was working as a missionary and engaged in “flirty fishing.” Adam was simply her priestly manager. For those of you wondering what the actual fuck that is then it’s when women in the family use flirtation, oral sex, and penetrative sex to convert men over to the lord. It’s also what is going on right now.

*****************

Erwin was drunk, so very drunk. He’d found out so much after taking classes these past three days on the faith and Musad had been even worse with his advances causing Erwin much discomfort. It seemed that he was determined to find a way to get back on top of Erwin and that was driving him insane. He kept thinking about Levi, worried about Eren taking care of him and he longed for Armin, longed for him so badly. The Father, who’s name he’d come to know after the three days of intensive history lessons was Uri, told him of his grandfather Caleb, the original king, his hidden son whose name began with a B but even he didn’t know who he was which is why he told him he didn’t know any kids if he had any, and how after learning the oral history and receiving the bit of power they still had he had come to know that Erwin would be the key to preserving them forever. How he was that key, Erwin was still unsure but it involved Armin.

Uri fed him wine bottle after wine bottle and left him to his own devices after a few hours. Musad took him to his room claiming there was a surprise waiting for him. He sat him in his chair, smoked a cigar and lit one for Erwin too. The lights were dimmed so low it was all moonlight and shadow like back in the barracks. He expected Levi to appear, alabaster skin glowing, inky hair wet with sweat, his breath hot in his ear breathing in and out, in and out, Mhhh, Haaa, Mhhh, Haaa….He’d take his hands and wrap them around his hips, clutching them till he ground down on him, leaning back and stretching his body for Erwin to admire, lips turn up at the corner in a smirk while he chuckled darkly. 

But instead it was even better. In the doorway as Musad made his exit stood Armin. His hair long and bouncy, body lean in a sheath dress. He approached him so coyly, hips swaying, and then when he was right within touching distance Erwin pounced. He pulled him into his lap, their lips met, breathing labored and all of his energy about the young twenty-two year old memory of the black demon transferred over to his young teasing nymph of a husband whose long nails scratched against his skin and pulled at his beard and hair. He skimmed his hands up his thighs and grabbed the delicate underwear ripping it until it tore off of him.

Armin’s gasp was higher than normal, more effeminate and it made Erwin so hot and so alpha he snarled as Armin removed his thin cotton shirt and dug his sharpened white tipped nails into his shoulders and shoulder blades. Armin’s hips made circles enticing his growing erection and the taste of plums on his lips made Erwin euphoric with arousal and gratification. He grabbed the base of Armin’s hair jerking him backwards and kissing down his neck delightfully, nipping and breathing hot air against his throat like he loved but he didn’t moan as loud as normal and his hair was long, so long. _Didn’t he just cut this?_ He thought back to Armin appearing at the bedside and him asking why he cut it, **“I must become harder.”**

Erwin’s eyes opened and his free hand skimmed back up his thigh, hiking the dress higher. He dove towards his sex and found nothing of what should be there. This wasn’t Armin. He pushed them on the floor covering them with his body. His hands gripped their throat, choking them, “Who the fuck are you?” He growled out as she struggled, voice stern, “Let me go! Let me go!” He relaxed his hold and she reached out and grabbed a wine bottle, bashing it over his head. The glass splintered and he struggled to keep her from breaking free, “Who,” he struggled, “are,” he was so angry, “YOU!?” He grabbed both sides of her head, fingers holding the root of her hair, as he picked it up and slammed it back down repeatedly. She whimpered and was so dazed she almost passed out.

Erwin leaned closer, “You bitch,” he breathed, “I should rape you just for the trouble but lucky for you rapping was never my type of power play.” He said the words, he was ashamed, but he was also honestly feeling that toxic urge that is bread in men from early on that they own women and she should have just given up to begin with. But, this woman, she was a fighter, “I did it because they made me. I don’t care what you do to me. I will go to heaven.” Erwin spat on her, “You will not.” He leaned up, wiping some of the blood from his face, “You tried to flirty fish me, right?” He said it with malice and she nodded her head, lips parted for breath, blood on the floor around her head, “Because I care about the cause. You must formally convert to the faith, prove you know the Lord, that you are the Lord.” Erwin was shaking, “Who are you?” She bit her lips, “I don’t have a name.” “No name?” “My father never gave me one.” 

Erwin slapped her, choked her, and slammed her again against the floor, “Talk bitch.” She shuddered, “Alma.” Erwin didn’t want to deal with this, “Fucking Alma Arlert. You’ve been hiding out here.” She opened her eyes and he got a good look at her in the moonlight from the window, “Wow,” Erwin said in reply to them opening, he stroked the hair out of her eyes and off her face, “You do look just like him.” She tried to get up but he kept her pinned down, “Tell me something. I’m your king, right?” He hated how right he knew he’d be about this. She nodded, “Yes.” “Then tell me something, why do they want Armin? You have to tell me, I am the King. I am the messiah.” She looked panicked, “I DON’T TALK ABOUT HIM.” He slapped her hard making her sputter blood.

Erwin let it all sink in; let it wash over him, that hatred he kept buried down all the time. It was the same white hot rage that fueled his altercations with those who used to be Levi’s best clients, the ones he’d had removed and even one of them lay dead at the bottom of a water channel. It was the rage that made him shamelessly keep tabs on Armin’s every move during the day because the thought of someone doing something to him, bad or otherwise, made him sick because Armin was his and his alone. It was his possessive, top dog, like-me-the-most-vote-for-me-for-prom-king-self that made him decide he’d rip her finger nails off, her toes and fingers, and then her limbs if he had to, if he had to make her talk that way he would fucking do it. “I’ll make you bleed, Alma. I’ll make you scream.” He leaned closer, intimidating her with his glare, his promising voice, and the wet stripe he licked up her cheek sealed the deal. She trembled and sobbed silently.

*********************

After an hour of torture he finally had more information. They knew he had the ability and the blood lineage to also control the coordinate but it was all about passing it down without cannibalism that was why they really wanted him and Armin. Eren seemed to be seen as someone lacking, someone who didn’t have the coordinate anymore. Erwin knew that was not the case but the Reiss train of thought was that after Armin ate him he gained the entire coordinate. Therefore, when he used it, and specifically wasn’t the direct successor, it fused to him and has become a part of his DNA. 

This was also a part of Armin’s grand plan to make sure that what had been done in the original life was not undone. He had to be eaten or have children with someone similar to him to pass the memories and the coordinate down. The theory was, and this is what truly terrified them, was that every child he bore would have their own coordinate and posses the power that came along with it. They could always stay out of the control of the Reiss family and would become the new leaders in the family hierarchy. This is why Erwin and Armin’s children would be either the hunted…or the hunters.

Erwin laughed at the realization that original life Armin had set up a chess board and seemed to sill be playing beyond the veil. Alma was important because she was Rod’s mistress and a very close relative to Armin. She was potentially thought to be another Marilyn but it was proven after tests that she was completely ordinary. She had no power, she was easily influenced, and she was weak, programmed by the faith, and unbelievably blindly loyal to the family and its secrets. He got more information about his mother and started to really expand on what was going to be their children’s future burden.

When it came to who his betrothed was, no matter or amount of torture could pry it from her lips. It would have to do and he needed to leave right then. He took her by the arm, her body broken and bleeding. When he took her out towards the yard he threw her down, “Lie down and die bitch. It’ll be the only kindness your king ever bestows on you.” 

*******************

He went back inside and stopped by the kitchen using his kingly charms to procure a candle and slip a knife off the table here apples were being cut for apple pies. He had mentioned it was his favorite and they started including them in the dinner dessert options. A perk of being a king, he guessed. He briefly allowed his mind to wander to what Armin's favorite dessert might be but thought he'd probably just say "Hmmm Mimosa." He smiled slightly at the thought as he got to his room. He seemed to be left alone. they must have thought she'd take up all of his time. Now she was outside probably wailing her depressive failures to God. He lit the candle after getting two sparks from the wiring he pulled out of the wall socket. 

Erwin held the note up to the flame and let it heat up. He could tell that the pen had bleed ever so often and the curves were distorted. This was a crazy theory but maybe it would work. He kept at it and then he started to see it. _Father you are so smart._ He’d written another note behind the ink with urine more than likely and it read:

_Go get my brother. Find the men with iron teeth. Do not believe the family and keep what you have learned close to your heart. Your mother and I have tried to do out best. We love you. I love you._

Erwin had to go to Russia.

***************

He had slammed everything he could use into a bag and left. He followed the edge of the forest, sticking to shadows. There was a meeting and that made him have to wait and hide in the bushes. Alma had told Uri that she had failed and the people were now frantically looking for their king. They blamed her and said she was possessed. She needed to be deprogrammed and reprogrammed. He’d learned that meant extensive exorcisms and brainwashing though Uri had never spoke of it so bluntly. She was crying in the middle of them as they circled and threw stones.

He considered saving her. Maybe she was worth something? She was Armin’s second cousin, family. But, he soon realized she was much more of a harpy than he’d thought. A frantic screaming man appeared, wailing his hands around, “NO! NOT MY ALMA! YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!” Uri appeared, face washed in flames. He was a patient man but beneath lurked a serious anger problem similar to Erwin’s own. Maybe that’s a product of incest? Probably. Ew…he was really disgusted by it all.

“How could you give my Alma over to someone!? She’s my Alma!” Rod Reiss screeched, face wet with sweat, double chin jiggling, fake hair combed over and sprayed to darken it. He looked like a comic of himself and this was potentially going to become president. “Rod,” Uri began in a fatherly tone as if explaining something for the hundredth time, “she’s a whore. She was picked up in a brothel after running away. She has always been a mistress of the faith. This is simply her purpose.” Rod reeled, “SHE’S MY ALMA! SHE UNDERSTANDS ME!” Uri’s angered flared, “THEN WHY DON’T YOU MARRY THE LITTLE WHORE?” Erwin had to grin ever so slightly at the hot mess unfolding before him.

Rod took a step back, “You know I can’t. I only ever had two matches.” Uri nodded, “Of course. What bad luck.” He moved towards her, “Alma, you had one job to do. You have failed and now you must pay for your sins. We know that you’ve been stealing, manipulating, and that you’ve tried to ride the political coat tails of my brother and his poor judgment. However, we simply can’t have someone like you who knows so many things about us potentially ready to reveal these things and run away. You’ve been planning on leaving for a while and tonight was your last chance at redemption. Musad is now looking for the King who more than likely left due to your lack of religious conviction. He can smell a sinner.”

Erwin didn’t have a chance to really think about how useful she could be. They had her tied to a stake soon and were preparing to burn her like some sort of witch. He ducked down in the bushes more as they started their macabre destruction of this woman’s life. She screeched, “You can’t do this!” Rod walked around covering his mouth, spineless nature on display, “ROD! ROD! I WAS ALWAYS TRUE TO YOU! I NEVER SPOKE OF HER TO ANYONE!” Uri shot her and Erwin jerked, _Who was she?_ Rob cried out, falling to his knees. She was only shot in the thigh and she looked down at the wound. “Alma, I love you. Tell me you loved me.” 

She kept staring and he saw it. He saw that oh-so-Armin defiant attitude appear, “No…I never loved you. I hate you. I hate you and hope you die and that you burn, _BURN._ I never wanted that little bitch and I never wanted any of this. I just wanted…I just wanted freedom, something better. I thought…I thought this was better.” Uri moved between them, “Should we throw you on the pyre too, Rod?” Rod’s face was shocked, grim, and he looked stunned from her words. He turned his head and then shook it. He didn’t love her that much it seemed.

Erwin slipped away as they lit the pyre, crawling on the floor in the dirt and mud of the forest. He eventually stood, running and trying to find his way out of the maze of traps that were set. Trip wires, bear traps, sometimes he heard men looking for him and he felt himself slip back into his old ways as he went on and on into the darkness.

****************

They tell you not to go out into the forest alone at night. People get lost, they get hurt, they go insane. I remember when a young boy went missing in Maria, got lost in the state park. His backpack was found in a tree and they couldn’t understand how he could have climbed up there because he was only about six years old. They went up to get the back pack but then looking up they saw a trickle of blood and further up there was something in the branches. They found that boy up in that tree and he was impelled on the branches as if something, well something had, dropped him there. How was that even possible?

I never liked the woods unless Mike was with me. We saw some fucked up shit in them together and that was honestly something I kept to myself. I guess I understand David better now. When Levi said he was his and he’d kept him to himself because that was something we weren’t forced to share with one another in the darkness of the cement gun pitted cells. I never told anyone how much the forest scared me.

One time we were camping and these other kids came up and we really got on and made quick friends. We were all around fifteen and sixteen. We had beer but not enough to drink and get drunk and everything was pretty normal till this guy appeared at the edge of our campsite. We were at least twenty miles in and on a hard trail. Leaving in the middle of the night was unthinkable and then this guy, no gear, is just standing out there and we’re freaking the fuck out because there is this feeling, this oppressive malice coming from him. He had on layers but it was fucking August in Alabama and that’s too fucking hot for that shit. He had something in his hand and one of the guys, Jarred or something, stood up, “Hey, motherfucker, we’ve got guns. Fuck off man.” His girlfriend started to cry but not loudly, she was just as upset as we all were. 

We went and made the fire bigger, at the mercy of it because darkness would let him and other critters come to us, and when we moved into the tents we quickly had to leave because we’d hear this metallic sound in the woods. It was like sharpening blades. We sat up all night and when the sun came up we took the trail at break neck pace. Mike has a great sense of smell and he kept track on that guy, claiming he could smell him following us. When we got back to the car we all lodge a police report and did a write up for the scouts. They said they went out looking and found a few other camp sites with not so lucky campers. I won’t take that trail anymore.

But the one that fucked me, still fucks me, makes me _HATE_ all those windows on the first floor is the scream because I always think I’m going to turn around and see it again outside of the windows. I was out with Mike but we got separated and I fucked up big time. Got caught in hunter’s trap, fucked my ankle up, and I was limping through the dark trying to rely on a compass and intuition. The trail was one I knew but my God, it was so fucking cold and so fucking freaky. I heard rustling and then the scream, the mountain lion scream. Sounds like a fucking woman is being killed or possessed by a demon. 

It followed me, that puma, followed me around tracking me and I was bleeding and I knew that it wanted to kill me, taste my blood. I didn’t have time to do much because it was getting cold and I kept thinking about whatever picked that little boy up and dropped him on the spiky trees below. It kept on and on and finally I decided to kill it. I pulled my pistol from its holster and steadied myself to kill it. I took a breath, turned around, gun aimed, finger on the trigger and pissed myself because it was actually a woman. A fucking woman covered in dirt, wearing clothes like night time white clothes and she just opened her mouth too larger for any one to possible do and started screaming.

I passed out.

Mike found me in the morning and I was naked on some stones from the river bed. I don’t like the woods. I don’t fuck with the woods.

***************

Now, I’m staring down the barrel of a loaded gun, my face is bruised, I’ve nearly been choked to death and my mortal enemy and rapist is before me laughing at my situation. “I’m gunna bring you back, boy.” He chuckled, smiling disgustingly. I spat, “No, you’re not.” And then I jumped him. One person was going to live and it was going to be me.”

***************

Musad had given it his all but the rage inside of Erwin tore him to pieces. He left him littered among the forest floor, his limbs spread out in a story like the one Armin had painted on the back porch on Christmas. His story was distinct: _You will not haunt me anymore. You will not hurt me anymore. You deserved this. You were unclean. You made me unclean. I hate you. I fucking resent you and I resent every single fucking thing that has EVER HAPPENED TO ME ALL OF IT I NEVER DESERVED IT I DID NOT DESERVE IT AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU YOU DON’T DESERVE THAT AND I HATE EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED TO ME MY FATHER BAIDSCHI MY MOTHER LEVI ALL OF IT IT ISN’T FAIR AND I WASN’T EVEN ASKNG FOR MUCH JUST SOME FUCKING PEACE!_

****************

Erwin made a tourniquet for his wounds that were still bleeding. He made his way into the parking lot of a gas station and motel after almost three hours of walking. He broke the glass on the vending machine and took some food and then pried the plastic off the drink machines front. He waited while eating his snickers and thinking about Armin and the men with iron teeth.

****************

Stealing the car was easy. He’d learned from Levi one night when they got lost and high at a rave in Sweden. They were always getting into trouble. Sweden was a nice place. They should go back. Why was he thinking of blood in the snow around their tent? Was that a memory or…was it…

***************

He drove quickly and before getting to Maria he stopped to steal another car and burn this one. It wasn’t stealing but it was taking without proper permission. Owen had some property that Mike didn’t go on often and in the barn there was an old red jeep Cherokee. He made sure the fire was contained and the cattle mooed and moved away as he left through the gate in his new car.

****************

When Armin sat in the leather seat of the jeep he was silent. Erwin was moving and he was tired, arm twitching, eyelids drooping. He had to do it now, “Let me drive, Erwin.” Erwin pulled over on the side of the road and Armin took over. “Where am I going?” “To the rural airport.” “N-no, they won’t take us like this.” “I have a friend and we’re going in his private plane.” Armin kept his face towards the road but turned to look at him out the side of his eye. He scoffed, “Huh, that’s got to cost a fortune.” Erwin closed his eyes appreciating Armin’s humor, “It is, baby.”


	109. The Greatest

“I love you.” Armin gave him a coy smirk, “I would hope so.” “I love you so much. Do you love me?” Erwin reached over and stroked up and down Armin’s arm. He was so tired and Armin just wanted him to go to sleep. The plane was really nice, but very small. “I wear this ring, don’t I?” Armin quipped and Erwin’s head lulled to the side, “Does that mean you love me?” Armin chewed his lip, “It does, because honestly, I thought about taking it off and it made me sick.” Erwin moved in his chair, “Really? You thought about that?” “Yeah, I thought I’d been abandoned.” Erwin shook his head lazily, “No, baby, you were just a casualty of war.” 

***********************

Armin and Erwin sat on the long wooden bench in the back of the jeep as it went on and on in the darkness to the first post. From there, they would need to walk to the second post, rest and eat, then head to the third post that would lead them to Zad’s cabin. Erwin was fading in and out after the loss of blood, the long plane ride that they had to pay out the ass to have it stay and wait for them, and then there was the whole “what the actual fuck are men with iron teeth and how are we so fucked when it comes to cults and weird shit” thing that Armin’s head was spinning around and around about.

Armin leaned over, “Erwin,” he waited till he turned towards him before he leaned up kissing him, “I’m scared that we can’t do it.” Erwin huffed a laugh, “Well, Armin…we just have to do it. There isn’t another option.” Armin smiled, “I guess you’re right.” They road holding hands and prepared themselves mentally for the journey ahead.

*************

“What the fuck are you two doing here?” Zadkiel was getting supplies at the post when they appeared. Armin and Erwin had had a hard time. Things had followed them through the forest and Erwin hadn’t been much comfort to Armin. Armin was just so happy to be in a lit area and with people that he knew were real people that he ran forward to hug him, “Zad, you have to come with us.” Zadkiel gave Erwin a worried look, “Must be bad if this little shit is hugging me.” Armin wiped his face, “Come with us now.” Zadkiel shook his head, “I can’t.” 

Armin held on tighter, “You must.” Zadkiel frowned, “Stop being so….whatever this shit is. I have to go back to the cabin first because there are things I can’t just leave for… however long you want me to leave for.” He shrugged Armin off and nicked his head to the woods. “I don’t want to go to the woods.” Erwin mumbled and Zadkiel paused slightly, “The woods, huh…your mother didn’t like them either. Gabe used to ask her about it and she would just say she didn’t like the dark and unknown.” Armin bit his lip, “But, she told you the truth.” Zadkiel turned back and they started towards the cabin in the twilight.

****************

The running water was nice even if it was a little too cold. Erwin and Armin showered and changed while Zadkiel repacked. “You know,” he began as they entered the room, “I just got home and unpacked from your wedding.” Erwin nodded, “Who are the men with iron teeth?” Zad went pale as a ghost, “Who told you about something like that?” Erwin handed him the letter, “Dad wrote this.” Zad took it and read it, “This is madness…oh…I bet if I…” he held the letter up to the fire, “Gabe, you devil.” Erwin managed a smile, “Pretty clever.” 

Zadkiel put the letter in the fire and watched it burn, “I don’t understand how he ever got in the situation where Uri got this letter but I’ll tell you this: Your mother had a hard time coming to the woods here because she lost a lot of family here. They lie littered over this country and the Ukraine in mass graves. She lost them twice; once in the forest here and then in the camps.” Erwin didn’t understand, “My mother was born in 61. She wasn’t old enough for the pogroms or the camps.” Zad snorted, “You’re supposed to be smart. Pogroms continued after WWII, Erwin. The camps I’m talking about are the DP camps founded before Israel.” Erwin sat down, “But, she was a Jew. She was an Israeli if she wanted to apply for it. The last camp in Germany closed in 1957 so what did they do till 1961? It doesn’t make sense.” Zad frowned, he was slightly annoyed, “Her mother didn’t support the state. She was off, Erwin. After the concentration camps she lost her mind and she had Marilyn in a camp while her father left to try and reclaim his family’s fortunes in Switzerland.”

“All your mother ever was…was a beautifully well crafted lie. She was held responsible for all sorts of things that she never had any hand in or any control over. It’s true, her mother was there in the camps to hide from the Reiss family but it was more to keep Marilyn to herself and safe. As she grew up, she began to tell her how Lady Reiss was after them and picking them off one by one. Her family kept getting purged from this land and that land but Russia was the one that really tore at her heart.” He grew softer, “She was so beautiful and looked like some milk maiden from around here and it’s because she was, ethnically speaking Jewish and Russian.” Erwin tapped his leg a bit annoyed at the whole thing himself too, “Zad, I know what she looked like but what does it all have to do with the forest and teeth?” Zadkiel stopped himself. He knew he needed to reign himself in but he missed her and seeing Erwin reminded me of that. “Because she reconnected with some people who were a part of them that were here when she was traveling and performing with her band mates. She acted as an East German spy, you know she did a stint with the RAF. Gabe made her come to the US to avoid them and try and keep them from coming after her. But it allowed her to come to the east a lot and she met up with family that had survived the holocaust returning to their own towns.” Zadkiel took the time to recount the story of the men with iron teeth and watched as both boys were captivated and perplexed.

Armin perked up sitting on Erwin’s lap, “I think…I think I get it. Those people she met, they were returning to reclaim their homes and when they did they were once again liquidated. Those who survived became the men with iron teeth? They probably live in the forests of Siberia and I bet there was a purge before the Holocaust, bodies buried in the ground in long lines, and then a second one and she felt like she had failed them.” Zad looked at him for a long moment, “Why do you think she felt like she failed them?” Armin looked down at his hands, “I bet she promised to help protect them. She probably felt like, maybe, if she’d never found them they’d have remained safe or rather that she had failed in protecting them from the Reiss family. I bet they were like me, cousins. And perhaps, they were like Levi and that….that…they were like Levi. I’m sure of it. Not easy to control and a threat.”

Zadkiel thought back to her and her sadness, “She wanted to be free from it all. She wanted the other tribes to rise up and over throw the Reiss family. She wanted to live in peace with the man she loved. She wanted to raise a son who’d just be a simple and well accomplished man. She wanted happiness…but she wanted revenge. She wanted Gabriel to call upon the men with iron teeth despite the fact they would have killed her.” Erwin hadn’t expected that, “WHY?” Zad replied simply, “Because the men with iron teeth see the Reiss family as _Amalek_. They are commanded by God to blot out all traces of Amalek.” Armin shuddered, “I remember this. Because they are the Israelites greatest enemy because they attacked the weak, the women, the children, and they did so willingly and gleefully.” Erwin pulled Armin closer, “Were you taught this because it was commanded of you and the others in the school or that you were seen as such to some?” Armin hummed, “That we were seen as such but that was because we were chosen and this was a manipulation of the _devil._ ” Erwin thought back to the Armin he’d seen after the blood eagle. Armin and the devil were pretty close it seemed.

“To find the men with iron teeth we have to go into the woods and let them find us.” Zad leaned back in his chair. Erwin’s eye brows rose, “Is that all?” He asked incredulously and sarcastically. Zad shrugged, “Walk towards Siberia. That might help.” Armin snorted, “Wow. Great plan.” Zad’s eyes sharpened, “I see you cut your hair. You look like a little boy now.” Armin pouted, “If that was a compliment you might want to work on it.” “I’m just saying, you don’t look like such a raging homosexual like this. Weren’t you afraid Erwin might not like you like this?” “This is how I met him,” Erwin said amusedly, “as a cute little spitfire with a bob cut and bright eyes full of mysticism.” He smiled brightly as Armin preened at the compliments, “See Zad, you’ll never get anywhere with that old pessimistic attitude.” Zad scoffed, “Let’s go, the woods await us. You’re going to need something.”

***********************

_“O Mother of God, holy Virgin, patron of all Siberia and protectress of all us sinners! Witness the miracle of Our Lord! O Lord, Our Savior and Companion in life and death, You who bless our weapons and our miserable efforts to bring Your law into the world of sin, You who make us strong before the fire of hell, do not abandon us in our moment of weakness! Not from a lack of faith, but in love and respect for your creatures, I beseech You, perform a miracle! Help Your miserable slave Maxim to find Your road and live in peace and health, so that he can sing Your glory! In the names of the Mothers, Fathers and Sons and of those members of our families who have been resurrected in Your arms, hear our prayer and bring Your light and Your warmth into our hearts! Amen!”_

His lips moved freely, “May Your will be done, our Lord! As long as we are alive and protected by You, the blood of the cops, the contemptible devils and the servants of evil will flow in abundance! We are grateful to You for Your love.” He stood among the trees in the darkness, one with the bitter cold and his eyes were trained on them as they moved around the witching hour alone and vulnerable. One of them wore a thick black coat with red satin trim and the others thick jackets with hoods. His friend moved closer, nicking his head at the three as they walked inside of their trap. “Who brought them, Jesus or HaShem?” His friend teased him as his hand gripped the ornate elaborately engraved iron cross that swung from his rosary, “The Holy Mother brought them here. Fuck off.”

Maxim pushed pass Ilya, “You just have to piss me the fuck off every day don’t you?” Ilya smiled brightly, “It keeps your tolerance level up. Imagine all the people you’d kill without me around keeping you busy?” Maxim spat back in reply, “Tch, I’m going to shoot you one day and make everyone else my bitch.” He clenched his fists. He was a sight to see. His blond hair was shoulder length, one eye green like emerald and the other blue like arctic ice, and his sharp jaw line and perfect angelic features made him look like a golden angel of hell. He looked very much like his family members, though there were none left after the harsh winters and assassinations thanks to the warring clan of sick fake Christians. He was clad in black leather and fur, he made Ilya look like out of place in comparison, though he fit much better with the forest. It started to snow and Ilya pulled his jacket up higher, dark black wool, thermal blue plants like some old Russian partisan, same blue scarf his grandmother had knitted him, and underneath a white sweater Maxim got him for Purim once because he always had a hard time giving him gifts outside of Christmas. He’d mumbled that Jews had too many holidays.

Maxim signaled the others and they started to swarm them. Whoever they were, they were about to meet the good Lord if they be Christians and go to hell if not. He pulled his knife out and Ilya moved beside him, his body close and ready to aid him least they be truly worthy fighters. They were always ready to fight, bred to fight, born for that purpose. They must live and one day their king would come and set them free from the Reiss family and their terror. Babies were often stolen for gruesome experiments trying to understand the blood lines and cycles. Other’s killed in the night or worse. His grandmother had become a matriarch worthy of fear. She passed down to her son that passion and then after his passing she reared him. His family was murdered, his mother, father, sisters, all of them by that man, by the sons and protégé of Caleb. His older cousin's leaving had been celebrated as the first in generations. He was heading to Sweden to marry and much had been expected of him. Unfortunately, he died immigrating to Israel with his wife. Maxim only knew the story through his grandmother because he was now a cautionary tale to never leave the forest where iron grows in the ground. She said Saul, his cousin, was a special man and that he would make miracles happen. Maxim didn't believe in the miracles of Jews anymore. They were Russian Orthodox and he knew the story of Saul well from the good book. Thank God they gave him a good name. Ilya on the other hand....

Maxim moved through the woods quietly, it was second nature to him now. He was nearest the smaller figure and the larger ones were not aware of them yet. He felt drawn to the smaller figure, something pulled him there. It was only a second but then the snap of a branch gave them away in the near pitch black for they had traveled so deep into the forest that they were bear the edge of the Jew’s Schol. He and the others sprung into action switch blades out and ready to plunge into soft flesh. But these three knew how to fight.

The largest figure pushed the smallest out of the way of his blade and instead took it in his arm. He screamed out and Maxim knew he must have hit something other than regular unadulterated flesh because this reaction came from old wounds being made anew. He avoided his fist but got clipped by the other one he let loose and Maxim’s anger was spurred on into the red. He slammed into the figure, brought him to the snow and straddled him. Yes, his size was always something he had been made fun of. He was skinny, shorter than most at only 5’3, and his eyes had always been something people made fun of. He was often referred to as Leah due to his eyes. He was called little sister by some of the boys growing up and they treated him like a girl. He resented it and now all of that hate and pent up issues was being released in a giant can of whoop ass he was unleashing on this guy.

They fought rabidly and he was really holding his own with him. It felt like he was used to fighting someone like him and maybe he was, maybe he and the smaller figure got on like this or someone else in his life. He plunged his knife into his weak arm and felt the cold blade of the other man enter his rib cage. He groaned in pain. Ilya was right there, foot slamming down on the guy. Ilya was always there when he needed him. But then the man with fiery red hair appeared, his axe out and so was the smaller figure. They both circled. The men with iron teeth knew that axes against knives was a fight with a clear winner. But, they had been against other and worse odds. 

They went at one another, like wolves tearing into prey or another encroaching pack. The smaller one squared off with Ilya. Oh yes, he was a dangerous thing. He knew that Maxim would be hyper sensitive to him. It wasn’t that he liked Ilya, just that they’d known each other for so long and he’d lived with him through his darkest days. Now this punk ass mother fucker was gunna get his ass curb stomped for even casting a look in Ilya’s direction, “STOP! WE ARE NOT REISS!” In perfect Russian and English The smaller man moved towards him with such presence that Maxim nearly paused to commend him on his swag. Maxim was all about the show.

But then he came at him and the momentary cease fire was over when the little devil cut into his shoulder. If he’d not moved when he did he’d have fatally wounded him. He’d take this little shit down. “The Mezuzah! ERWIN!” Erwin stood up and flashlights illuminated him and the metal mezuzah, “This is the Kuznestov mezuzah, a gift from the Ackermanns before the pogroms.” Maxim managed a well place punch to the other’s jaw before whistling for a stand down. The other leader, Daniel, moved forward, “Parent’s names, now.” Erwin exhaled, “Gabriel Smith and Marilyn…” “Reiss…We thought you’d be killed.” “Why?” “Abulafia, he came here in the 80s and 90s and was insane talking about how he was going to have a son. We heard about you but then there was a rumor you were not his bastard and that meant he’d kill you in our book. He picked us off twice over the two decades and our numbers are low. We live here in the forest, in the darkness, most of us in Siberia have joined and created gangs and we’re in the culture of the prisons now. We’re Jewish, save for one family. Here is my mezuzah. We, the heads of the families, keep them to remember when we rose up from the ground and took our homes back only to lose them again and return here to this wasteland we’ve made into a paradise.” 

Maxim kept his eyes on the feisty blond across from him. He wanted to attack him but he was also disturbed by how much he looked like… Ilya moved towards Maxim, limping from the fight. He looked at the other boy, “Wow, Maxi, he’s your twin. Must be family, da?” Armin jerked, “Last name?” Maxim’s eyes widened, he rolled his shoulders back, spread his legs apart and sneered, “Aristov.” “Arlert.” Maxim’s eyes narrowed as he spat, “PARENTS?” “Adam Arlert, Adele Arlert.” “Who was your grandfather?” “Atticus Arlert.” “His sister, she was grandmother.” “Who was she? My grandfather never spoke of a sister.” “Her name was Anastasia Arlert and she married her disgraced Russian cousin named Artur Aristov. They had a son named Lev Aristov and he was my father.” “Where are they?” “Dead. Yours?” “Dead.” “How?” “He killed them.” Armin pointed at Erwin who was still clutching the mezuzah and standing awkwardly thanks to the accusation slash truth of the matter. Maxim looked suspicious, “Why?” “They crashed my wedding and have ruined my life by being packs of shit.” “Why would _he_ kill them?” “He’s my husband.” Maxim paused and snorted, “Exactly what makes a good mate.” Ilya smiled at them both.

Daniel sighed, “This is Maxim Aristov. He’s the leader of the Russian Orthodox family we have.” Erwin tried to follow, “Where is your mezuzah?” Maxim’s hand flew to his rosary, “It was melted down into this cross.” Armin looked at it, “That’s kind of sad, don’t you think? The Jews in your family, it’s like you erased them.” Maxim flew at Armin and they were on the ground fighting again. He had him in a choke hold, “Why don’t you shut up you little privileged Reiss lap dog. You’re married to a fucking future king of kings. Whose side do you think he’s on? You want to be in walls again? NOT ME! They don’t give a fuck about this mezuzah.” He released Armin and stood up wiping the blood from his nose where Armin hit him, “Why!?” Maxim turned away, “BECAUSE THEY’RE DEAD.”

Armin huffed, "Some asshole like you would have to say that to not fucking feel bad. Fuck you and your tough guy routine you weak ass motherfucker." He sat up and they all huddled together to speak, the other men exchanging glances at how the new Arlert challenging the fearsome Maxim Aristov, Angel of Death and Leather himself, "My father told me to find you, the men with iron teeth." "Yes," Daniel began, "We're here for you as the King. We're your army, though very small." Maxim hissed, "Not for long. We'll," Another man spoke, "Nothing, there are too few of us and we will never gain our previous families sizes. Let it go, boy." Armin cut his eyes to Maxim, _I understand you better._

Armin cut the silence, “I don’t think it’s impossible. Once we defeat the Reiss family we can all start to rebuild and live freely. I know that I carry Reiss blood and that you want to kill me because I am Amalek but so does your King fall into that category if you want to be a purest about it all. We actually don’t give a shit about titles or any of that. We just want to liquidate the Reiss family and break this curse. If you could help us then we’d appreciate it. If not, then that’s fine. We’re just making do with what we have and so far we’ve gotten pretty far.” Daniel sighed, “I think we can come to an agreement that you two are not the problem but the solution. You’re the one who has half of the coordinate, right?” 

Erwin stepped closer to Armin, “He does. How do you know about it?” Daniel smiled, “He made it so we would. You know, our memories can’t be altered, remember? We also have a great oral and written tradition and we, the men with iron teeth, are trusted with keeping that tradition to safeguard a new generation. However, after WWII we suffered more losses than ever before and that is why we are the way we are now. We must win in this lifetime or I fear we shall never make it to the next.” There was moment where the wind howled, “How many do you number?” Zad was blunt and Daniel seemed unfazed. “We number about 200 able body men and about 180 women. We have very few children, only about 30 and the oldest among us is only in their early 60s thanks to the recent purge they visited on us.” Erwin and Zad exchanged looks. They all caught up and spoke of what had happened the previous two weeks as well as eluding to what happened with Abulafia.

They wrapped up promising to talk further at a later time before Erwin moved to ask the most pressing question, “Will you help me do this? Can I count on you as my men, my family, my tribe?” Maxim, Ilya, Daniel, and the others all went silent. They’d not expected to be asked, but rather, demanded to do so. This was more than they expected and all they needed to make their minds up, “Of course. You have our loyalty. But know this, should you turn on us we will seek a revenge worse than death. There are things that live in the ground.” Erwin felt a moment of providence, “There are things I myself have buried in yellow sand. This dark earth is no different. Will you show me the land of my mother’s people?” Daniel nodded, “Yes and we’ll tell you all about us and our ways. But, you must know, we cannot and will not cross the ocean. We can only help you here on the continents of Asia and Europe. We are only able to help you fight them here because there is nothing that binds or calls us to that land you call home. We can only go where our people lay in the ground.”

Armin noticed a twitch among one of the men, “What will happen if one of you does come across the ocean?” Daniel wiped his face, “He won’t burst into flames but….let’s just say that no self-respecting Jew among us would.” Erwin wasn’t happy about this at all. He needed to get the American cult off the map before the European one. “I need help in America.” Zad stepped forward, “Feed us and tell us what we need to know. The details can come later.” He gave Erwin a warning look when he tried to press the matter further and Maxim tched pushing past them for them to follow. Armin leaned into Erwin’s side, “This isn’t what I thought it would be like.” Erwin frowned, “I know. We can’t ever catch a break.” “No one makes hand outs.” “Only you make handouts for crisis situations, baby.” He kissed the top of his head and Ilya smiled, bowing slightly and making an “after you” motion before they headed deeper into the woods.


	110. What's in the box, daddy?

Levi drank his coffee slowly as Erwin and Armin finished their story. Their goal was to expose Rod Reiss but take out the cult first. Levi’s finger tips traced the top of the cup. Eren moved next to him, his smell wafting over towards him. Eren was warm and inviting and he allowed himself to lean on him as he kept his eyes trained on them. He could tell that something was off with Erwin, the way he moved and twitched when questioned further by Marco and Jean over the next few hours. “They told us that we can call upon them when we take out the European cell. However, we’d need to hit them where it hurts soon, sometime after the kids are born, perhaps?”

Erwin was caught off guard when Armin jerked slightly, “I’d say before, actually.” His eyes were bright and shifty; Eren noticed and cleared his throat. The table went still. Levi waited for Jean who looked like he would go for the jugular, “Armin, before you have children would be really soon. How will you take out both cells before February? It’s September and this is going to take a lot of planning. Plus, you can’t draw attention to the fact that your children are in wombs and vulnerable. Perhaps, we should look at moving them or getting better security? I think that we need to really all sit down and brainstorm suggestions and bring them all together. Let’s think-tank this. David can lead.” Jean turned his head to David who smiled shyly while Jean laughed a little.

Marco nodded, “Exactly. I think that we needed to really spout off as much bullshit as possible because you know that’s how they’ve always gotten us in the past lives. They’ve always done things we never expected or thought were way out of the realm of possibility. You said that yourself in many of those lives, Armin. We need to include Zadkiel and these men to ensure we have the most in our favor.” Armin and Erwin were stone faced, “We’re going to destroy the cell here as soon as possible and make sure they, local and international news outlets, televise it. We’ll link it to Rod, hopefully wounding his campaign, and then the cell in Europe will know we are coming for them. That will force them to move and when they do we’ll be ready and we will then sketch out a longer term plan.” Both exchanged small smiles with one another before returning to the group. Armin took Erwin’s hand, “We think that if we play this right we’ll buy more time with the kids when they’re younger since the danger will be more in Europe than here. Funds will be cut off, support, and if we can get the US back in shape we may have more to work with as far as international possibilities.” Armin finished and Eren snorted, “Always looking at the long term possibilities. Sounds good, Arm.” Jean nodded, “Perfectly Armin. Someone’s going to get kidnapped or turned into a zombie. That’s just our luck.” The rest of the group laughed and agreed that that was their luck.

Mikasa chewed the inside of her cheek, “David, let’s head out. I’m not feeling so well.” She had a horrible sense of foreboding and it was also coupled with random morning sickness that she thought she was over with. Mrs. Jaeger and she had gone shopping the other day looking for nursery things. David had called her over and over to make sure she was okay, remembering to eat, and having fun. Carla giggled the entire time, “He really loves you. I am so happy for you.” Mikasa smiled, “I love him more than I ever thought possible. I can’t believe we’re having a baby.” Carla jumped up and down in the isle of the store, “Do you know what it is?” Mikasa shook her head, “No…I don’t want to know.” Carla shrugged, “I didn’t find out for the first two. The third was a girl and I was really excited but then when I was told I was having Eren there was just this…feeling. I was going to have a son.” She finished with an awed and dreamy tone./p>

Mikasa snorted, “Oh yes, you got a tan handful but he’s a boy so he’s wondrous, how Turkish mother of you?” She cut her eyes over, “If you have a boy you’ll understand. They become your prince. But, daughters, they’re the best.” She reached over squeezing her arm and then hugged her, “Thank you for doing this with me. Eren, I understand, but…I would have liked to have this with both of you.” Mikasa hummed, “Yeah, but I think he thinks that Levi not having a family makes it not fair for him to make him do everything with you.” Carla stood straighter, “Well, maybe I should give them that space. I don’t know how I would have been. My mother came to stay with us and Grisha…um, hey look at this! Aren’t you doing this as a theme?” Carla ran away and Mikasa smiled. She tried to put the part about her father behind her but it bothered her. She was suddenly brought out of the memory when he turned to face her.

David frowned a little, “Oh, okay. I’m sorry you’re unwell. You’ve been doing so well lately.” Eren smiled, shaking his head, “Miki, I think I know what you want.” He got up and went over to the dairy fridge and removed an ice cream carton, “Kosher and mint flavored. Here you go.” He made a small bowl and she laughed after she smelled it, “Actually, yeah, just the smell helped that pass. You are a good brother. You know me so well and you’re so intune with my pregnant self. However, Jean’s been really on point so you’ve got some way to go.” There was another knock at the door and in walked Zadkiel. Marco was closest and had risen to answer the door, “Zadkiel, I was just going to ask where you were and why you hadn’t come back with Erwin and Armin.” Zadkiel rolled his eyes, “I had some business and stayed with Hannes.” He sat down, dirty and unkempt the way Armin was used to him but the others looked on in fascination. He needed a haircut and bath desperately.

Eren perked up at the name, saying in a shocked manner, “HANNES? Since when are you two friends?” He nearly knocked over Levi’s spices, causing a face to appear of Levi’s that the entire group lived for. It was a mix between I-can-not-believe-you-fucking-did-that and oh-my-god-what-is-going-on-this-is-deep-shit. Eren grimaced and begged for forgiveness before sitting back down next to a very un-amused and abrasive Levi. Zad snorted, “Since the wedding. He’s hilarious and we have a lot in common.” Levi smirked, “He really is but that surprises me that you two have a lot in common. We’ll have to share.” Zad snorted appraising Levi who also held his gaze for a heavy moment.

When their pissing contest had passed, Zad took Armin’s drink and took a sip keeping Levi in his sights as his full focus, “I guess gindele has told you about the men with iron teeth?” Levi raised an eyebrow, “He’s hardly a gindele but yes, a bit. Why do you call him that?” Zad looked over at Erwin. Erwin had never asked and he was curious to know as well. Zad could see his face was expectant. “We called him that, his mother, Gabriel, and I. He’s the little doe. We didn’t know if he’d be a boy or girl and Marilyn was really into terms of endearment for people she liked. You do it too, so just keep that in mind before something sarcastic or shit related falls out of it.” Levi felt himself flush a bit, “Oh, I got a rise out of him. That’s a point in my corner.” Armin cut his eyes over, “Shut up, you old communist asshat.”

Zad smiled, “I’m actually more of a libertarian. But, asshat, well, that’s fucking spot on. You love me, don’t lie. You just love this.” He winked and Armin scowled. Zadkiel continued, “Let’s not waste anymore time. I’m here for a bit until things quite back down. Let’s just come up with the most effective plan and get this over with quickly. I have things to do.” Armin knew he just didn’t’ want to be around Erwin and get more attached. Still, he should enjoy the fact he’s not dead. After they met the men with iron teeth they found out that a group had come to his cabin and killed the lady who ran the post supply shop closest to him for not telling that Armin and Erwin had come to get him. They were thankful but they would not let her death be in vain.

Jean and Marco talked about how there was an upcoming art contest and one of the categories was politics related. Jean was issuing paintings and Marco had already written a few pieces for Yvonne’s magazine about the troubles of Rod Reiss and his rise to fame. There wasn’t even another runner for president and that was what was really fucked up. Marco wove a tapestry of people who’d tried to run against him and the ends they met. Armin had helped with the research and received an offer from Yvonne to write pieces any time he found something interesting. He’d had a few but never knew if they were worth sending in. Erwin said they were but he kind of had to. They were married and he didn’t want an upset husband on his hands in Armin’s opinion.

The group talked more about Rod and then they went into the living room where each group tended to find its own little space and continue speaking. Zad was still stand offish but he was doing better than before. Jean and he seemed to be getting along and Armin wondered if that was simply because Zad was hard to offend or Jean genuinely was having a good day getting along with people. He snorted, “yeah…right. Jean never has good days.” Armin went towards the stairs and then up to Erwin’s study. Erwin was leaned over the box from earlier and opening it. 

Armin leaned against the doorframe, draping himself in a tantalizing manner, “I take it, it isn’t a bomb or anthrax?” Erwin turned around exasperatedly, “I don’t know and that’s why I’m opening it in here away from you! Who will raise our child if something happens?” Armin smirked, “Levi.” Erwin frowned, “Not funny. I’d rather our child have a parent that it’s related to by blood.” “Probably is related to Levi through me, you know?” Erwin huffed, annoyed tension in his forehead that Armin had come to know well especially when he was working, “They said that the Ackermanns were once the largest family in the tribe but they were also always on the front lines. Levi’s mother and her parents…they left before the pogroms started again and those who remained were killed. I don’t really want to tell Levi about it. I think they should when he meets them. But, that could be so long. I should tell him then.” Armin moved forward slowly, “What’s in the box, daddy?” His voice was low, teasing and Erwin would have loved to tease back if the contents were not what they were, “It’s bad.” Armin started to grin, not a natural reaction but for them what else could they do? “It’s always bad, daddy. We gotta stop usin’ that word ‘cause it’s lost its meaning.”

Erwin sighed closing his eyes, “Sit over on the couch.” Armin paused, giving him a coy look of curiosity before leisurely, seductively, sashaying to the couch where he laid out over the cushions. Erwin thought he was such a tempting thing, however this would change his good mood soon.

Erwin picked up the first letter as he walked slowly over towards his delightful nymph. His footsteps were heavy and Armin’s hands traced up and down his stomach as he waited, “What does the letter say, daddy?” Erwin paused giving him a hard look. Armin knew it was his Commander Erwin look, with a stern expression, hard jaw line, eyebrows on fleek as he and Eren would often joke, “Baby, prepare yourself.”

  
_  
_

“How did it all end up this way? Rod Reiss lost his mind at a young age. He used to sit on his grandfather’s lap and listen to him repeat the stories of their family and how the walls needed to rise, rise, rise up and consume the world, divide the holy from the wicked, split the world in three and make sure that those of the messiah’s flock would usher in the thousand years of peace. The ultimate goal was a utopian society on earth like revelations promised and who would do this? Jesus? Kinda…”

  
_  
_

“Apparently, Marilyn was the product of a lot of good breeding that trickled down, down, down, until finally she met up with a man who carried just the right amount of other good crossed blood lines and then BAM a baby boy who can not only control the coordinate if given it but can also convince the reluctant righteous to come inside of the newly built walls of liberation…errr….or oppression depending on how you feel about it.”

  
_  
_

“Marilyn turned Rod down in a blaze of embarrassment and his brothers Uri and Adam couldn’t blame her. Rod was off and everything that happened to him pushed him further and further to the edge. He took a wife eventually and then a mistress. But, the family has been and always will be about free love and missionary conversion. That’s how Armin’s parents met one another. His mother was working as a missionary and engaged in “flirty fishing.” Adam was simply her priestly manager. For those of you wondering what the actual fuck that is then it’s when women in the family use flirtation, oral sex, and penetrative sex to convert men over to the lord. It’s also what is going on right now. I bet you’ve been trapped.”

  
_  
_

”You’re probably wondering how I know this? Well, it’s just a guess. I was always good at facts and figure and I made it so that this little package would make it to you at a certain date if I were to die. Obviously, you’ve killed me. I don’t know how I feel about it but that’s beside the point. I wonder what hell is like. Am I even there? Who knows?! I SURE DON’T. But, this won’t be the only little package you get because in this scenario I decided to really play devil’s advocate and throw some wrenches in the system on the other side since I was working so hard at destroying yours.”

“So, Rod Reiss, Adam Arlert, and Uri Reiss are the three brothers, sons of Caleb the reoccurring patriarch that always has the ability to reestablish control over the family. Those men with iron teeth, the ones I’d love to cut open and see what makes them just so different, you know the iron runs in their blood, the iron that kills, and I think that listening to their mangled magik words would make for sweet background chatter. I digress, this is merely the first in a series. You might want to prepare yourself. Also, if you haven’t figured it out yet, there is one among you that will be your Judas.”

  
_  
_

And as a side brain teaser since you’re such an smart guy: You’ve been told Marilyn was a first cousin and a fourth cousin. What’s true? Also, why is one half brother given a different last name? Are there more brothers? Why would Leah hate Marilyn so much? Why would Rod settle for her when everyone knows Marilyn was who he really had his eyes on? He had two matches, who were they? I’ll finish there, honest. It’s just so much fun poking holes in the fabric of your sanity. HahahahHAHAHAHAHAHA.”

  
_  
_

With much love, Jemison.


	111. Ballad of a politician

The car was plush grey leather and black suede, windows tinted to black out and the Potomac was bleak and colorless as they drove by with it outside of the widow, it’s color stark against the grey cement road and the figure’s colorless face. His grey eyes were heavy, full of guilt, anger, sadness, and overall he was deflated. He wasn’t this mighty character like the world knew. He was older now, weaker, and his place had never been so unsecure. He felt the phone slide between his fingers against his palms. His assistant prattled on, his voice a low hum of sound, so muffled it was just background noise to him while he watched the red and yellow lights on the horizon become bigger and brighter as they entered the city and the cars flashed by at quick speeds trying to figure out who was in the car blockade. Presidents and dignitaries never really wore off here and everyone wanted a good story.

He sighed, loosened the tie around his neck. Black Armani suite, tailored by a Spaniard, his shoes handmade by an Italian, his tie came from a man who’s family had just come from war torn Syria, his shirt had been neatly steamed and pressed by his children’s old nanny Mary and she had included some Mexican catholic prayer thing in the pocket for protection. She also packed him a lunch of hand crafter delights. She was the last woman in the world who was kind to him for the sake of being kind. 

He picked the phone up after dialing the number and listened to the ring. [Dut Agaci](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BsPv2f1vTY) played over the speakers in the car. He fiddled with his cuff link looking out the window as they cut into traffic and then in between buildings. The person picked up, _“Hello?”_ He inhaled deeply, “Hey, sweetie, listen, we need to talk…I understand that you might not want to talk but…things have changed and I’m just…begging you for a little bit of your time.” There was a silent moment, “I don’t know. It’s…been so long and you’ve never,” “I wasn’t able to. They wouldn’t let me. But I don’t care about that anymore. I don’t care about them. It’s important. Listen, I’ve got to go soon but I have tickets at the airport waiting now, two of them sweetie. I want you to come up here and us talk in person. It won’t be a weekend or anything of being trapped just a night and half a day. You can leave whenever you want but please, if you can even find it in your heart the ability to come and just listen then that will be the kindest thing I’ve ever had anyone do for me in my entire miserable life.” She shook on the other end, coffee mug robin blue and warm brown spilling over the lip onto the marble white counter. 

She looked at her calendar, sticky notes and marker drawings, a picture of them all together, and felt the warm tears spill down her cheek, “Okay, I’ll come. When?” He was so happy she said yes, “Tonight. In about an hour you should head over to the airport.” She bit her lip, “Okay.” When the call ended she pushed her hair behind her ears. She was wearing a large white t-shirt with some obscure black geometric form on it that she’d gotten in Paris. She walked over to the sink putting the coffee down and wiping away the spilled droplets with a paper towel before drinking some of it and then quickly pouring the rest down the drain. She’d added too much sugar, letting it pour out in full as she stared at his name on her phone screen. She’d make more later.

In her bedroom reality would really hit her so she walked cautiously inside the open doorway looking at the body move slowly beneath the sheets. She admired the tan skin and ruddy hair with golden flakes like Idunna’s apples. “He called me.” She began and the other opened their eyes, hair messy around their face, “I heard. We’re going to the airport?” She bit her lip again, picking at the hem of her shirt, “Yeah.” The other snorted sitting up in the bed, beautifully nude as the covers fell away, “A quick fuck and then a quick trip after a week of being apart. That’s called living right there.” She snorted, “We stink from our quick fuck…We only have thirty minutes.” The other stood throwing a few things in a pile, “Look, there’s what I packed.” She interrupted them, “He said it’s not for long so why bother.” They snorted, “I don’t give a shit. One can never be too prepared.” “True.” She lowered her eyes shyly, “I know that look, though.” The other giggled, “I’m going to take you in the shower and clean you up real good.” They both exchanged cheeky and pleased smiles and went to the shower.

**********************

The lights were hot, the screen letters too blurry but he never read from a pre-approved speech so it didn’t matter. He gripped the podium, “Thank you for the opportunity to speak to you, and thank you to the Center for National Interest for honoring me with this invitation because it is truly one of the greatest honors this American country has. I’d like to tell y’all, and yes, I used y’all because at heart I’m a business man and a country boy, about how I’m going to develop a new and better foreign policy for our great country. It, this plan, will replace randomness and give purpose. It will rip away that socialist leaning bullcrap ideology and make real strategy its focus. And ultimately, it will replace chaos with peace.”

Applause resonates in the room.

“We need to revamp our policies. We need new vision and voices and to bring them in, that’s what we need to do. It’s really great the direction that I’m going outline here for you all today. I want to return to a timeless principle: US. It’s going to be all about what is best for us, the American people and our security! It has to be this way! We’re the best country in the world. We saved the world so many times that we’ve lost count. We’re the heroes of the planet. In the 1940s we saved the world from Nazis and Japanese imperialists. We saved the world from communism and we got Gorbachev to TEAR DOWN THAT WALL!”

More applause.

”Unfortunately, after the Cold War we got weak, we veered off the path. We failed at developing new visions and bringing new voices inside. None of what we’ve been doing makes any sense, am I right? Logic couldn’t survive in the foolishness of the weakened world. In Iraq, Syria, the Middle East, all of it went very bad and then we had to admit that making democracies in un-democratic countries was harder than expected. We wasted money, caused civil wars, and we created the void ISIS would fill and then the oil tycoons of the Middle East that want to cut off our heads.”

Over the next two hours the crowed responded beautifully, people were kicked out, police were on the ready at the front of the stage and he had them all captivated with his promises. He learned from the best, afterall.

“Now, there is so much more going on and for the sake of time I’m going to leave it there. Just know, that I am the only one – Believe me, I know them all, I am the only one who knows how to fix it all. Our allies are not helping and that’s something I want to change. If you won’t help America, then America won’t help you!”

Applause

“Thirdly, our friends are beginning to think they can’t depend on us. We’ve had a president who dislikes our friends and bows to our enemies, something that we’ve never seen before in the history of our country. He negotiated a disastrous deal with Iran, and then we watched them ignore its terms even before the ink was dry. Iran cannot be allowed to have a nuclear weapon, cannot be allowed. Remember that, cannot be allowed to have a nuclear weapon.”

A great round of applause and standing ovation.

“And under a Reiss administration, will never, ever be allowed to have that nuclear weapon……Perhaps, walls are not such a bad thing when you can’t rely on your allies to help you. That’s why I’m going to have walls build around this great country. Let’s take back America for the Americans! Let’s build a wall of peace and protection! Under the Reiss administration ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!”

***********************

On the way to the plane she stopped on the tarmac looking around at the bright construction lights that blinded her and prevented her from looking out into the woods around them. The other pulled at her hand, “Is this what you want?” They looked down at her face, white skin, blue eyes translucent in the blinding light, wisps of soft blonde hair whipping in her face, red lips, “Yes,” she said, “this is exactly what I want.” And with that, everything in their lives changed.

*****************

“Last call for Maxim Aristov and Ilya Nabatov!” The flight attendant screamed at the counter as they waited for their flight. Her coffee had gone cold again and they kept their arm on her shoulders keeping her warm, “Who the fuck has to be called for their flight at this point in their lives? Damn.” She smirked at the obviously annoyed tone, “I’m just glad we’re heading home and not having to drive with all the attacks on cars.” The escalating violence was on everyone’s mind lately.

The two men appeared on the plane, one dressed in black leather with this raw aggressive bad energy and his eyes were so striking they unnerved her making her turn her gaze away and the other in hunter greens and light blue was attractive and welcoming looking. He had auburn colored hair and green eyes, very light and very pleasant, his smile was full and his lips were pale pink and shapely, not too big or too small. The green and blue eyed bloned on the other hand was really who interested her and so she made herself look at where they sat again.

They shifted next to her, “He looks like you, baby doll. Maybe he’s related.” She shrugged, “For once, no.” She felt nice knowing that. She liked that he was a stranger. “The name….it’s all about the names and I know them all.” Her phone was ringing but she couldn’t answer it so close to take off. She sent a text in reply. “Why the fuck is he calling you?” She frowned slightly, “She’s getting out. He’s having a hard time. Leave him alone.” Their eyes narrowed, “Do you even actually care?” Her fingers hovered over the keys paralyzed, “I have to pretend to care.” Was her simple quiet reply. They shifted, leaning down and covering her lips with theirs. She didn’t have to pretend to like them.

****************

Maxim sat against the window after barely making it to this plane, this leg of the journey. He’d become too entrenched in his anxieties after the landed and he couldn’t believe he was doing this. He had looked out the window as they left Europe and the fear that paralyzed him was real and harsh. How could he have done this? It was forbidden.

He’d woken up, made his way to the small airport on the coast and spent the night waiting for it to open. Thanks to the civil unrest in the Ukraine he knew this would be a hard trip not to mention he’d never flown before. He slept in a long metal tool box, covering it with his sleeping bag and in the morning he woke up frozen but better off than if he’d simply leaned against the building. It was the sight of two knees that made him pause before rolling out and grabbing his knife, “Now, now, Maxi. I don’t understand why you thought you could just go off on your own?” 

Ilya, of course, he was always where he didn’t need to be. Maxim sneered, “Why are you here?” Ilya shrugged and offered him some charred squirrel he’d cooked on the edge of the site so that the smoke didn’t bother Maxim. Maxim took it reluctantly before asking again, “Why did you come?” Ilya put his bag down turning away and sitting down with it at his back propping him up. He crossed his legs at his ankles removing a worn copy of _Biedermann und der Brandstifter_ _Biedermann and the fire bugs_. Ilya liked languages and so did Maxim. German was useful because it belended well with their Yiddish backgrounds but they rarely used it for anything other than reading. Maxim’s angered flared, “Shit head, why are you here!?” Ilya sighed, “Because I want to be. Stop asking. You’re scared, da? I am too but maybe if we’re together it won’t be too bad, Maxi, da?” Ilya was the Russian peasant when he spoke and Maxim hated it because he liked it. If that made any sense. 

Maxim stewed, “You’re a fucking idiot!” Ilya rolled his eyes knowing he couldn’t see it. It didn’t matter to him whether Maxim was yelling or whispering at him as long as he was talking. He loved Maxim’s voice, his Russian was a masterpiece and his Ukrainian was just as beautiful. He used to beg him to read out loud his Siddur because the accented Hebrew was like music and only sometimes did Maxim indulged him, only sometimes. It always sent him into the confessional afterwards but Ilya cherished the moments he did and dealt with his guilt. 

Which brought him to another point, “Maxi, How are we going to handle the language? We are only a little bit fluent.” Maxim growled, “It’s called conversational and who cares.” He did, but he wouldn’t admit that. Maxim had no flaws or weaknesses and he’d never let anyone know he might. Ilya read him well, turning back around, “You’re right. I’m sure everyone speaks Siberian Gangster Russian. We’ll be fine.” Ilya’s smugness sent him into a screaming fit again until the pilot showed up and took them in his small private plane towards Ukraine.

Maxim hated it. He didn’t like flying in this tiny plane and he didn’t like how it made his head hurt or the buzz in his ears and he didn’t like when it shook or swayed. There were a few times he grabbed Ilya’s hand that mortified him and made Ilya chuckle. Ilya’s family took him in after his grandmother was assassinated. His father’s death had lead to a power struggle of those who thought they should become head of the Aristov tribe. That was horrible for a ten year old Maxim who had always been discounted as being too weak to take over. He moved in with Ilya’s family, his mother was a kind and sweet woman. She was quiet and never asked questions, a good gangster’s wife. She kept the weapons dusted and well greased in the red corner of their house. Every house had one, a red corner. Red corners were for hanging pictures of the fallen and the past, pictures of loved ones you avenged or needed to. It’s where weapons were blessed, the Jews did it differently but they’d thrown holy water from the priests on their and recited their family’s prayer to mother Mary. Maxim was raised to hate bankers, police, and capitalists. He was told that keeping money in the house was a sin and therefore, he was to always bury it in the back yard. He was to give to the poor, help the weak, and take care of those who could not take care of themselves all while fighting the bourgeois. Ilya’s father was just as fierce and had been a great friend to his father. He took over the Aristov tribe and claimed it was to hold it for Maxim when he turned thirteen, when he became a man, and guide him till he was sixteen and then release it all over to him.

And so he had and then he was killed before letting Maxim fully take the reins, struck down by Adam Arlert in a spray of gun fire. They knew that the men with iron teeth preferred knives to guns. The guns they had were holy and were for last resorts only. Fighting in Siberia was old school and they liked it that way. To kill a man with a gun was easy but it was a true test to grapple at close quarters with the enemy.

He remembered the screams of Ilya’s mother the night they lit the forest on fire, taking children, taking their texts and destroying them and decimating their numbers. They mocked them with Yiddish, mocked his Christian faith. Ilya’s mother rushed into their shared bedroom, ripping them out of the covers and grabbing their fur coats. She put them in the large rain bucket outside that had only just been emptied for their baths, two fifteen year old boys all legs and knuckles tangled together till they left their hiding place a full day later, crawling out into the snow like creatures, less than human. That’s where Ilya found his mother shot in the head, near their bucket, his father less than thrity feet away with his arm stretched out towards her as he’d tried to get to her.

Ilya clutched her crying into her hair as he recited the ancient wails of his people. Maxim’s mother and sisters had suffered horrible fates just five years earlier and this was just a reminder that life was so weak and precious that in an instant it could be extinguished. They were beautiful girls and those Reiss men, often denied picking their own mate, had broken them body and soul before shooting them like they were nothing, not even people. Maxim would never forget and he would never forgive. He was out for blood, money, power, glory, and salvation.

Now, Ilya was leaving his tribe, his people, and for what? He contemplated it all the way to Washington D.C.. He knew that it was against the rules to leave and Ilya only played dense. He had so much more to lose. Could he come back, ever? Maxim left his gang with orders and he knew that they feared him too much to disobey or take another leader, but Ilya? There were other problems. In fact, they said no self-respecting Jew would ever leave. That was why he had left. He wasn’t Jewish, he was a third generation Christian and he could go wherever they couldn’t go. Nobody was going to tell Maxim Aristov where the fuck to go or what to do. Nobody. And now he was here with poor blissfully happy Ilya.

Ilya looked around the plane, “There’s some really hot girls on this plane, Maxi.” Maxim chewed the inside of his cheek, hands moving to his rosary where he counted beads. He did it as a way to relieve tension and anxiety. It was his nervous tick. God knows he was always anxious. “Like the little blonde in the back,” Ilya whistled, “she’s a like a little nesting doll.” Maxim turned towards him, “Shut up, Ilya. Don’t act like such a dog in heat.” Ilya leaned back in his chair, face amused and Maxim couldn’t understand why, “Remember when we used to go to school and you’d argue with the rabbi?” Maxim allowed a small ghost of a smile, “You mean, what I did everyday in that fucking day school?” Ilya grinned, “Yeah, you helped me with my own religious exploration by just arguing about everything. You argued so much I didn’t have to argue anything to figure anything out.”

Maxim always got in trouble for being a headstrong, aggressive, and bombastic personality. He questioned, debated, rejected everything and he was smart, they both were, and that made for a lot of problems in all realms of their lives. Ilya’s tribe was left in the hands of his uncle and he didn’t mind. That was something that angered Maxim because why wouldn’t he care that he wasn’t the ruler of his _own_ tribe? Maxim carea! Ilya didn’t care about what people thought or “taking what was his.” He was easy going, humorous, and a nice guy. 

Maxim enjoyed the moments when his anger did flair, they were few and far between but he also had this keen political wit. He was deceivingly against all things government and hated the police, relishing in acts of subterfuge. He left them to head to the Maidan in Ukraine one morning returning months later with a bullet wound. Maxim had begrudgingly missed his presence and followed him, leaving and returning on and off with supplies. He had his gang work in Ukraine for a while so he could keep an eye on his _weaker_ friend who was now snoring happily on the plane ride to Atlanta.

Maxim opened a magazine and then closed it. It was propaganda and in English. He really was overwhelmed at the new sounds and words. They’d learned English for basic to specific purposes. They communicated with Erwin and Armin in Russian, Erwin was pretty good but Zadkiel was native like and Armin were near fluent. That was because one had lived there for nearly three decades and the other had been studying in his free time since high school to read books. His speaking was still a bit off but he could read fluently and understand complex discourse and hold his own. Maxim didn’t know how he felt about Armin yet. He’d be lying if he wasn’t partially motivated by his curiosity to see him again. Armin was his closest living relative and he didn’t seem to be too affected by the Reiss family and he was the one that nearly defeated them in the past. He was also the one that had cursed them and created these years of pain and maybe he wanted to choke the life out of him? Who knew? He felt a flash of nausea and Ilya woke up instantly, “Are you going to throw up?” Maxim let his tough guy routine down and nodded. He threw up all the way to Atlanta with Ilya holding the bag.

*********************

They got to the airport around 4:00 pm. Both pairs split and went to the parking lot. Maxim opened his phone and started researching, “A little late for that.” Ilya said lighting up a cigarette and leaning against the car, “I’m just confirming. We need to head to this address.” He showed Ilya and he put it in the GPS leaning inside to do so. Maxim watched the others return to the cars and he swallowed the lump in his throat, “I guess it’s a good thing you came,” “Oh Maxi, I’m glad I came too,” “because I’m too tired to drive and all your lazy ass has done is sleep.” “of course, there was no way you were telling me you appreciated me.” They got in the car and headed out.

Ilya drove like a Mario cart character but Maxim was too tired to care, “Did you pick this car?” Ilya said slowly, “I did.” “Interesting,why not a motorcycle?” “Here they drive cars more.” “Oh. Well, this is nice.” He had rented a black out dodge ram charger with black leather interior, “I know. It spoke to me.” Ilya snorted, “I’m hungry Maxi.” “I’m not.” “We need to eat.” “I don’t want to till we get there.” “You don’t eat enough.” “I think you should worry about driving and leave me alone.” “I wonder if that’s a family disease.” “What?” Ilya’s face harded and Maxim knew he was about to drop some hard truth, “Anorexia.” It made him want to become violent, “Fuck off.” “You know I care about you and I don’t like it but you’ve got to admit you all have a touch of it.” Maxim knew he was right, “It’s just easy to control and it’s easy to forget about it.” Ilya passed a car, “Well, that’s scary. When we get there we’ll eat and if they don’t have food we’ll leave and get some because I’m actually making really good time.” “You’re going…100 mph and the speed limit is 70!” “I’m efficient.” “You’re an idiot.”

*********************

The [shop](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/c2/58/e9/c258e985f3ae39df2935b29121f7eea8.jpg) door chimed as it opened and the sound of people was loud and overwhelming. She made her way quickly through the sea of people gazing at the [first](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/75/79/47/757947ad5a9970f966a6d8d46422e538.jpg) room of the shop and then left out towards the [atrium](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/7d/cc/f6/7dccf6b225e9f2a4db2ae2c722619788.jpg) in the back where she found him among the tables of food and drinks, [“Armin!”](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/e0/8e/d1/e08ed1cb31cb0f66f940c2db39b3774b.jpg) her little bird voice trilled and [Marco](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/9f/55/45/9f5545805d1fabdd89d88d4fd3da4db0.jpg), who Armin was talking to, gave her a pleasant smile, “Armin, this is absolutely lovely! I’d love to speak with you and purchase one of the pieces in the case if you could spare a moment?” He guarded himself well and she knew this wouldn’t be easy.

Inside the front room of the shop Armin opened the case, “Where is Reiner?” Krista smiled, “Poor baby, he’s not well. Ymir came with me.” Armin gave her this un-amused look, “Listen, Krista, cut the shit. You’re a lesbian and you and Ymir are basically married. Why are you pretending to be with Reiner? He’s also gay and in love with Bertolt. We are not fooled. We are not amused.” Marco appeared, hands in his jeans, “And honestly, we really don’t want you here. After what you’d been doing to Jean, well, this freckled Jesus isn’t so forgiving as the regular middle eastern one.” Krista had thought this would happen, “I know. It was horrible and I’m here to not only apologize but also explain. I’m a bastard child and my mother and father didn’t raise me. My mother didn’t want me and my father’s wife and family wouldn’t take me. I lived with relatives and got money from my father’s family. I have more money that I know what to do with because of them and I’m to inherit a lot more since I’m an only child.” 

She laughed nervously, “But, there are things that my family does that I am bound to do. They still match people up.” Marco and Armin exchanged glances, “Arranged marriages?” Krista nodded, “Yeah, the thing was, in order for me to not be cut out of the family I have to marry this guy and he’s nice but I really don’t…I’m a lesbian, plain and simple and that’s enough…that’s a good enough reason and it’s always felt like it wasn’t because they don’t accept homosexuality. But like with everything I’ve tried to find loop holes and Reiner is one of them. When I started dating them, they left me alone and I thought maybe they’d let me marry him and he and I talked about it as a marriage of convenience. The agreement is, that as long as I’m in school and not gay then I can stave it off for a few years. I was in the art program because I’ve never known what I really wanted to do but I know the regular course keeps you locked in for almost five or six years if you take a really light workload. I was told to enter it by my relatives and my entire life has been that way. I’ve been raised to do as I’m told and not question.”

“Everything has been planned out for me and just recently my father was nothing but cards at Christmas and my birthday but he just met with me and we reconnected and I’m better. I’m being more honest. I want you to get to know me, Krista the lesbian who is now entering Kinesiology to work in a rehabilitation center and help people. I want you to meet me, the girl who loves fine art but can’t make it, the girl who likes antiques and jewelry and invests well and makes her own money aside from her family. I want you to meet me and then decide if I’m worth being a friend or acquaintance or nothing. Please, I understand that’s a lot but I’m….just hoping because I’ve really always liked you all and I was just afraid.”

Ymir appeared behind her and then [Jean](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ac/c5/ba/acc5ba0822a2fd3471db692fae49fbcc.jpg) walked over from the doorway he’d been listening in. Ymir and Jean exchanged glances and Armin noted there was slight tension in his temple next to his hair line, “Krista, you know what? I believe you.” Marco’s mouth wanted to fall open but he caught it, “If Jean says its fine then I’ll try and let it go too. I’m just always going to take up for him and if you do him wrong then that’s it.” Krista nodded as Ymir wrapped her arms around her waist, “I’m the same Marco. Respect.” 

She nicked her chin up and Jean continued, “I’m sorry about your situation but is it worth it? Is the money,” “I’m not doing it solely for the money. I’m doing it for the family. I can’t lose anymore family and I’m going to do this simply in the hopes of maybe down the road changing things. I…I just want to be loved and it sounds selfish but its how I feel. I am a selfish person.” Armin moved, “Then it’s decided. We’ll start fresh.” He looked at her smiling, “Is this what you want to see?” He held up a [brooch](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/49/84/0c/49840ca88343e5e6fc601ba3696df768.jpg), “Yes! I love it! Look Ymir.” Ymir kissed the side of her kneck softly, “Sweet like you. I’m going to grab some coffee out back and look around. I’m in search of a desk and chair, Armin. I like weird. I’ll pay you for your time and the furniture.” 

Armin leaned over the counter, “How weird?” Ymir smirked, “Abba Ikea 1970 Iceland weird.” Armin gave her a wicked smile, “I like that. I’ll definitely have my eyes open and Erwin out in the field with me.” Krista smiled, “Y’all are just the sweetest couple. I loved your wedding so much. It was an absolutely stunning delight.” “Mine was better.” [Eren](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/15/d1/52/15d1527e3288720e7dc35c178e251dfa.jpg) walked up holding a few tickets, “People are buying things so fast that now some people don’t have anywhere to sit, Arm.” [Levi](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/3e/43/0c/3e430c143566d8649587b7a3ac2693e8.jpg) joined him with Donner at his side, “I need to…get away…” Eren turned kissing Levi passionately, “I understand. Go upstairs Neshama, it’s clean.” Levi raised an eyebrow, “Who cleaned it?” Eren frowned, “I did.” Levi tch’ed, “Then it’s not clean. I’m just going to step out front and…” “Smoke? Stop smoking. We’re going to have a baby.” Levi’s façade dropped for a split second, “Did you just tell me what to do?” Eren stood his ground, “Uh yeah.” Levi blinked, “Nice try. I’m going to make your life hell tonight. I’m going outside for a smoke, maybe two.” [David](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/8c/8e/bd/8c8ebd731f142301107ac5c07d43a1be.jpg) chuckled appearing at the edge of the group, “I could use one but please don’t tell my wife.” Eren smirked, “I really should. But, I won’t because you’re my cool brother in law.” David smiled, “Yeah, two times over.”

Krista looked confused, “I don’t understand.” David turned to her and extended his hand for her to shake it, “Hello, Miss Lenz, was it?” She nodded and he continued, “My name is David Lavie and I’m Levi’s brother and Mikasa’s husband. Therefore, I am his brother-in-law by marriage on both sides.” “Ohhhh, wow. Um…I didn’t know Mikasa was married?” Marco interjected, “Yeah, she got married in July.” Krista smiled, “Well, that’s nice. It is nice to meet you. I thought Levi was an only child.” David smiled kindly, “Well, let’s just save all of that for a much later date. It was nice to meet you Miss Lenz. That’s German, correct?” She seemed to hesitate, “It is.” “Northern?” “Southern, actually.” “Well, have a great night. You’re girlfriend looks like she likes sports, if you two will be around we might all go for a run or something one day?” Krista nodded enthusiastically, “YES! She loves sports and I like them but I’m not as gifted as she’d wish. I’m not Mikasa by any means.” He gave her shoulder a squeeze and Armin felt like that confirmed everything he needed to know about what cards David was holding.

“Krista, that ring, I noticed it at the wedding. It is marvelous.” [Erwin](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/26/37/7d/26377d1d70b40fff2fbbb4a704f3203f.jpg) appeared through the side door behind the counter that led into the kitchen, “Krista, it’s nice to see you.” Krista smiled, “You too! And yes, this is one of my favorites. I got it when I turned sixteen.” She touched the [ring](https://img1.etsystatic.com/050/0/8767608/il_570xN.709930251_ffsh.jpg) twisting it for them to see, “Krista, this ring, it makes me think of a ring Mrs. Jaeger had when I was living with them. Her’s is a little bigger and not as ornate on the sides but….well…you know she had cancer?” Krista frowned and inside Erwin was wondering what the fuck Armin was doing because she was healed. “N-no! I didn’t know that! Remember, after…Annie we all lost touch. I started taking different classes than Jean and transferred out of the program too.” Armin gave her a pitiful look, “Oh, well, she did and she’s still….you know…” he shrugged, “there’s always a chance it could come back and Eren doesn’t speak about it at all. I know what I’d like to ask is a bit tasteless but would you mind selling that ring? I really admire it and it makes me think of hers, which will naturally go to Mikasa, and therefore finding one similar has always been a dream of mine and I would hate myself for never asking.” 

Krista felt bad but she also knew where he was heading. Was this worth it? This was a game and she needed to play it well and he was a worthy opponent. “I don’t know if I could sell it. My relatives gave it to me and I just told you how much family means to me. What….what should I even sell it for? I don’t know.” Erwin called Monsiouer Goldburg over and explained the situation and who he was to Krista. She perked up and handed the ring over to him for him to inspect. Mr. Goldburg was a smart man and he knew Erwin well. He also could read a room so he took his time and carefully appraised the item while Armin continued the passive emotional negotiations. Erwin was intrigued and he knew something important was happening.

“It’s worth 1,746.00 US dollar.” Krista’s face fell, “Oh, well,” she had honestly thought that the ring had cost more and in fact that was the narrative she’d been told. She had wanted to make this a symbolic power play but this seemed to be a fruitless endeavor. In fact, all this had done was squash her potential plans, wipe the chess board clean, and remind her she’d always been treated as a leftover and bastard. She didn’t want the thing anymore, not now that the sentiment was gone, “I’d not like to explain why that changes things but if you’d really like to buy it than I can think of no better reason to sell it. It’s really not that important. Ymir has gotten me better things and I need to wear them more to make her happy.” Armin smiled, “OH! Thank you! How’s 2,000?” Erwin smirked, “You really want it, you little devil.” He opened his check book and made it out to Krista who took it and laid the ring on the counter. Armin wrapped her purchase up and she left to find Ymir while Erwin ducked into the kitchen where Mr. Goldburg was.

“Erwin,” he began seriously, “I told her it was worth around 2,000.00 US dollar.” Erwin hummed, “I heard.” “I lied. I think there is a reason that Armin wants that ring and I don’t know why but something told me to do what I could to get him that ring. It’s old, really old. It’s in pristine condition and it’s a great dupe for aquamarine.” Erwin frowned, “A dupe?” “That stone is rare, I’ve never seen it but only read about it in my gemology books. The literally value is priceless, Erwin. PRICELESS.” Erwin smiled, “Well, then I thank you. Because, you’re right. Something felt fated with Armin and this ring. I appreciate it and will pay a nominal fee for you having on the spot checked it out.” Mr. Goldburg finished his drink, “You buy so much from me there’s no point. Just, let me know what you find out about it or better yet, let me research it, please.” “Of course. Have a great night.” Erwin and Mr. Goldburg smiled and hugged before Erwin returned behind the case.

Erwin moved behind Armin, hands smoothing over his hips as they smiled and said goodbye to a couple that would be coming on Monday for pickup. Erwin pressed up against him leaning down to kiss the top of his head and then down further towards his ear, “Mr. Smith, you are a devil!” his faux Scarlet O’Hara southern accent reminded him of their first encounters, “I do declare now that was some sort of story you were spreadin’ and I am at a pure loss as to why you’d go and do such a thing.” Armin put the ring in a box, “Because, it belongs to me. This right here is my birth right and she’s not at all who she pretends to be. We’re playin’ a game my good sir. But, I’m not playin’ for pleasure, I’m playin’ to win. You want to be married to winner right?” He turned around in Erwin’s arms looking up at him with expectant eyes, “Certainly, my clever little devil.” Erwin swooped down kissing him sweetly and making him giggle. He tickled and peppered Armin with affectionate kisses and pinches till they decided to tend to the guests again. The open house was going fantastically and soon Jean’s band would start playing again after their short break. In fact, the plucking of a guitar was heard, “That’s Mike.” Erwin smiled and reached up taking some of Armin’s hair around his face in his hand, “I’m going to request they play a song that makes me think of you.” Armin grinned coyly, “What’s that, Mr. Smith?” Armin said breathlessly as he maintained eye contact with a grinning Erwin, “Hotel California.”

The music began as they warmed up and Erwin disappeared requesting the song to Jean. Levi was still outside so David would sing. He’d just walked by after they paid for the ring. Mikasa had left and headed over to see Hannes and cook him dinner because she still wasn’t feeling well and he’d been sick. Zadkiel had gone with her to make sure both were okay and Erwin was glad for it. Levi and Hanji were betting she’d be someone who needed bed rest. They couldn’t quite put their finger on why she was getting so nauseous all the time but it seemed a bit abnormal. She’d stayed a good two hours, though. Sasha and Connie were catering and the food was so good they were getting inquiries about weddings and such. Connie had bought an old bus that he wanted to turn into a food truck and Sasha was very enthused. Armin liked that everything was getting back to normal and his husband, the one currently coyly making come hither motions at him in the crowd, was the best thing in his life and he only got better. He looked down at the ring box and smiled before joining him.


	112. Romanian Grand Opening

Ilya pulled up to the curb and they saw the sign, “Valet.” Ilya squinted, tone hushed and curious, “Maxi, what is “Valet?” Maxim looked and took a moment to think, “Where they take your car and park it for you, like in Moscow. You might be thinking of the word Ballet and that’s,” “DA! I WAS! I was so confused, why would they dance here? Do they all do ballet in the streets?” Maxim gave him an exasperated look, quickly raising his hand so that his fingers could smooth over his lips and repress the smile forming there, but on the inside he thought that was pretty funny. Ilya always made him laugh even when he wasn’t in the mood. They parked across the street not wanting to deal with the valet and key situation if they wanted to leave. Maxim didn’t like being out of control and Ilya agreed. Sometimes even he wanted to run away free. [Maxim](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/af/6c/15/af6c15cbd3e59d4e7734457e8e2c40bc.jpg) was still the dark horse standing out against the cottage-summer-hipster landscape of this antique shop whereas [Ilya](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/e9/69/42/e96942e55a62ee1a1dad03da4ebbfff7.jpg) looked harmless. Ilya leaned close to his hear and Maxim braced for whatever mischief was going to fall out of them, “Maxi,” he whispered, “it’s hot here.” Maxim had been thinking the exact same thing he grinned slightly, voice low, “It’s not Russia. Anywhere is hot in regards to Russia. I hope this is the place. Our luck he’s not here or it’s a mistake.” 

They stopped before the door, “Who are you looking for?” The deep monotone Russian came from the side and Maxim saw a guy dressed somewhat similar to how he liked to dress leaning against the wall with a large beautiful black German Sheppard, “Armin Smith.” His blue eyes were piercing and Maxim felt like he knew them, “Then go inside. Armin Smith owns the shop.” His Russian was spot on and Maxim wasn’t sure if he was a native speaker or not, well, he was native fluency for sure, but his semi-disgusted with life attitude was definitely vibe-ing with Maxim but also threatening him, “Do you know him?” Maxim pushed and the man stood straighter pulling out a cigarette, “Da.” He was a man of few words.

Before Maxim could continue, Ilya had already left running towards the dog, dropping to his knees and petting him. The man looked like he could kill and so did Maxim. In fact, if only Ilya had seen the danger he was in maybe he wouldn’t have done it. But, he could never turn down an animal. Ilya’s face lit up and he turned to look over his shoulder, “Maxi, he’s so clean.” Levi relaxed only ever so slightly having a brief moment of a memory before his harsh self took back over, “He’s a service dog, you can’t touch.” Ilya’s hands stopped mid pet and he stood up quickly, “Red leash?” His tone was questioning but a bit shameful, “Blue, it’s blue here.” Levi regarded him, “Oh, I apologize. He’s so clean and beautiful. I mean, I’ve never seen a dog as nice as him.” Levi stared and Maxim felt a bit defensive till he noticed the man blink and seem to relax. He said in perfect Russian again, “You….should think before you act.” Maxim snorted, he’d been saying that for years, “He’s a fucking idiot.” His voice was slightly affectionate and that made Levi snort, voice still without inflection, “I prefer brat.” Maxim hummed, that was interesting, “Brat…that’s a good one. I might have to use it.” He nicked his chin upwards and looked to Ilya for him to follow him inside. Levi kept smoking, standing in the darkness on the edge of the building, thinking about how he would have shot him if he hadn’t reminded him of Eren in that moment. He was so soft now it pained him. Where was the bad-ass he once was? _HaShem, Eren had made me as weak as one of Donner’s squeaky toys._

Inside Maxim felt very out of place. It was clean, very clean, but a little too fine for his liking and what he was used to in Russia and Ukraine. Ilya smiled tapping his fingers across Maxim’s shoulders, “It smells good in here, Maxi. They have air conditioning!” Someone looked at them with a strange look, running away in a hushed manner, “They’ve never heard Russian apparently.” Ilya grinned leaning behind him and resting his chin on his shoulder. Maxim grinned slightly, “Apparently.” They pushed through the crowd till Ilya disappeared, “Ilya, where are you?” Maxim turned back around and then he felt hands on his waist, his hips and then lower stomach. It caught him so off guard, he’d never been touched like that except maybe… but no, and it felt nice but it was alarming the way he was being tenderly pulled into the body behind him, “Armin, this is going great but if Levi doesn’t come back in soon I’m going to have to take him home. The anti-depressants, you know? They really take it out of him.” Lips on his neck made him shiver and his anger flair. Maxim pulled away, face his trademark sneer that made even the hardest gangsters quiver as they waited for him to kill them or take from them something. He turned around seeing two blinking owlish green eyes before him with a stunned look, “Um, I’m so sorry. I thought you were Armin…..my God…you’re not Armin…” 

This boy kept staring at him and Maxim felt all of the familiar emotions that came from interaction with someone who’d never seen someone like him before. He could see him mesmerized by the contrasting eyes, the sharpness of his features, his blond shoulder length hair, straight cut bangs, leather, and petit figure. He was a walking contradiction to them and he knew it. _“Leah’s eyes made all of the men at the watering hole turn away as they watered their camels, no one could look her in the eyes and hold contact. She was considered a sorceress.”_ He sneered, “No, I’m not.” Eren recoiled and clenched his fist. “Maxim?” Armin pushed through the crowd towards him and Eren’s mouth fell open, “WOAH THIS IS SO FREAKY LOOK HOW SIMILAR YOU TWO ARE THIS FREAKS ME OUT!” 

Eren waved his arms around like one of those blow up men outside of car lots and Erwin, who was coming over behind an upset Armin started to laugh thinking about it. “Maxim, what are you doing here? Are there more people? Is there trouble?” Eren soon snapped into reality, “You’re one of the men with iron teeth.” Maxim tch’ed, “So what if I am? Who the fuck are you, little punk who touches people?” Eren’s brow furrowed, “Hey, man, what the hell!? I said I was sorry. Now, back the actual fuck up.” Maxim squared off with him. He didn’t need to understand Eren’s English to understand he was being disrespected and Eren was edging towards red the more hostile energy he released, he was _turnt_ and ready to fight, “What did you say, idiot? Me back up? I’ll fuck you up, punk.” Armin’s body was compelled forward, he moved between them before Eren lunged, “No, no, no, not here at my party! You fuck heads will NOT ruin my party. I’ve been through enough already and this is the one thing that you PROMISED,” he looked to Eren, “would not be fucked up so stop, please. STOP.” 

Erwin laid a hand on Maxim’s shoulder, eyes shifting between him and Armin. In his best Russian he could muster, “Maxim, Eren didn’t mean to start anything. He’s very close to us and you do look like Armin. Try to understand and not make a fuss. It was a mistake.” Armin looked to him continuing as well in Russian, “Please, we’re just scared. It scared me to see you because you’re not allowed to leave.” He said it so simply that Maxim couldn’t help but feel badly. Of course, them showing up would look bad and upset them but that was one of the least of his concerns. “We came to help. The others will not come.” 

*****************

Towards the end of the party they were all looking forward to sitting down and talking to Maxim and Ilya about why they felt the need to come and go against their tribes. Ilya had met Sasha first, leaving Armin and Maxim alone, and much to Marco, Eren, and Erwin’s amusement was “spitting mad game at her” asking her where she went to school, what did she like to do, did she know she was beautiful like a great piece of art, that she looked like, and this was the best, “Golden potatoes over the fires of Moscow.” That actually wooed her and Marco was jumping lightly up and down in excitement when Connie walked over and saw the two. He dropped his drum sticks and they rolled heavily away towards the cart of uneaten food.

“Sasha is a beautiful name.” Ilya smiled shyly, he was very likeable and not too pushy. His compliments came off totally sincere and well placed. He also kept a nice distance, not too close, but not so far away he come off like a player. Erwin and Eren were drinking capris sun’s sucking on the straw until the packs went tight and concave, “This is like a dramatic telanovella.” Eren mumbled and Erwin nodded, “We’re also a telanovella, honey.” Macro shushed them, “Hush, I can’t hear! We’ve all been trying to figure out what the actual fuck Connie and Sasha are doing and this might be the time!” These three all enjoyed a good sampling of gossip.

“Where are you from Ilya?” Sasha’s tone was flirty and happy. She played with the ends of her loose hair and swayed slightly side to side, sometimes rocking on her feet back and forth on to her tip toes. Ilya’s voice “Russia, a very small village in the woods.” She giggled slightly and he blushed, “I’m sorry, my English is not that good. I studied other things besides it…” Her eyes lit up, “I know this is a strange question, but what languages do you speak?” Ilya’s eyes lit up and Eren and Erwin moaned at how dreamy they were, how dreamy he was, “He’s winning.” Marco slapped Eren’s arm, “HUSH!” Ilya ducked his head down, “I speak Russian and Hebrew, Yiddish, Ukrainian, we use those….the most often… Polish is pretty good, I can read and understand German but….uh…a strange question...eh deserves….a strange language so I am also fluent in Romanian. My mother’s family from Romania and I learned it from her.” Sasha squealed in delight and opened her mouth letting out a torrent of Romanian, “YOU SPEAK ROMANIAN!? I DO TOO! My family comes from Romania and we speak it at home but not when others are around. My family is very conservative like that. They were really afraid that we’d be kicked out of they’d have their citizenship revoked if they spoke Romanian and someone found out.” 

Ilya beamed and his face was the perfect picture of curiosity, “Really?! Why?” Sasha smiled, crossing her legs at her ankles cutely, and moving hair behind her ear. Marco jumped more, “Oooo girls always do that when they like someone. But what are they even saying! It’s romance based but…” “I don’t know,” she continued, “I think it’s that paranoia that immigrants and refugees have when they come to new countries. You never really feel like you’re secure but more like it’s revocable.” Ilya smirked, nodding, “Governments like to keep their new citizens in fear whether they really mean to or not. It keeps them in line because that insecurity weighs heavily on their first generation immigrants, they work so hard and so long they forget to enjoy what they accomplish and they bred into their children that they must be thankful and never take anything they didn’t specifically earn because it might be considered welfare. But on the other side, governments paint them as convenient scapegoats to keep the normal population in line with scare tactics that refugees and immigrants are taking hand outs and committing crimes. That’s how they manipulate and how the two groups can live together but never really understand one another.” 

Sasha gave him a very impressed look and took a step back. Her body language clear to the people in the penny seats, “She is,” Eren began but Erwin finished, “gunna fuck him in the bathroom. Look at that hip pop. What did he just say?” Marco hummed, “I could understand bits and it kind of made my panties drop. Boy likes social justice and is all edu-ma-cated and such.” All three gave a “Mmmmmhhmmmm” turning to one another and finishing their capris suns with long loud sucks. Connie cleared his throat somewhat awkwardly, “Um, Sash, we gotta get this stuff in a cooler and head on back to Maria. You can crash at my place if you want….y-you know….your stuff it there anyway….” He mumbled quietly as Sasha nodded, “Ilya, it was so nice to meet you. Are you in Maria or?” He took her hand when she reached for his and gave it a squeeze, “I am. I hope to see you again, Sasha. Have a safe trip back but before you go, let’s make a bet.” She grinned, “OK, what?” “If I can guess where your family is from, the city, you’ll let me take you out to dinner.” She hummed, “Okay, and if you can’t?” “Your choice.” “You’ll tell me all about Russia.” “Deal.” He smiled dashingly and she blushed.

Sasha walked away with a perplexed looking Connie, “What language were you speaking?” He mumbled while pushing the cart and the three were deflated, “Well, I thought for sure we’d see something good.” Erwin grumbled before moving to find Armin and another capri sun. Eren frowned, “Yeah. Hey, where is my Levi?!” Marco snorted, “Bad husband.” Eren was pissed off at that, “HEY!”

******************

“So, you left to help us?” Armin was drinking coffee in the kitchen while others helped finish clean up and he tallied the purchases and inventory from the case. Maxim moved uncomfortably in the seat, “Yes.” Armin looked at him, his hair in a small pony tail, “Why? There are repercussions to leaving, right? I can’t imagine you’d leave your tribe after hearing that you controlled most of the territory in the area. I know I’d not have wanted to leave. I think I can safely assume that we both like money, power, and glory.” Armin said with some mirth as he wiped his eyes and yawned. Maxim tilted his head to the side, _Maybe Armin and he could possibly…_ “You said you believed that we could rebuild after we destroyed the wall. That’s what I want. I want my people, free and flourishing. I want safety and security so I can go back to my life and know that my family will be safe from Reiss lackeys when I’m working.” He frowned. His imaginary family with a house of kids that he focused so much time on when planning.

Armin looked up after writing a bit more, “My father is dead. I promise you.” Maxim stared at him. It was uncanny how Armin could just cut right to the heart of it all with him. “I know. I wish I had killed him myself….He killed my family.” Armin’s eyes skimmed the room before falling back on the pad, he was leaned forward, legs crossed beneath him in the chair, his eyes were now bloodshot and Maxim noted the slight tension in his face where he fought back tears, “It’s a relief to be honest. That they are dead, well, it’s somewhat sad but not really. They were never going to stop and I’m going to be a father…” he shuffled papers in a very flustered and busy body manner, “I can’t worry about them kidnapping my child” he said in an exasperated way, “or me or my husband.” He closed a desk drawer, hands coming up to grip the sides of his head, “I’m just tired, Maxim. We don’t know each other very well but I’m really tired. I am…overwhelmed.”

Maxim believed him, he felt a lot of things he’d rather not right in that moment, “They say…that…” In walked the man from outside who’d told them where to find Armin, “Shefeleh, put it away and let’s go home.” He was assertive, held a sense of power that made Maxim take notice and the pet name was interesting. He was like a fellow tribe leader. His expressionless, monotone self was just a mask, just like his own, “Continue Maxim.”Armin looked from them both back to the table, inhaling and wiping his face with his hand, his voice kind but like a parent explaining something to a child, “Velvel, I’m finishing up right now and if it’s too much you can go home already with Eren. Maxim and Ilya are here, well Maxim is here,” he motioned to him in the chair, “they’ll need a place to stay so I’m going to have to arrange that,” Levi cut him off with loud burst of sound like a grunt, “They’ll be staying with us and I don’t care about any of it but just put it all in a safe and _come on!_ ” He was wound up tight when Armin looked at him again, his cheeks flushed, Donner whined and Armin was a little caught off guard at it since Levi had been pretty heavily sedated lately, “Levi, Eren is in the other room. You can just,” Levi cut him off, “I need you. I need _you._ ” It was needy, harsh and Maxim was honestly surprised that he wanted to just stay out of it and not fight it. This guy had a level of respect in Maxim’s mind and he didn’t know why but that didn’t really matter. Maxim felt a kindred spirit in him. He just needed to be left alone. This Levi or Velvel whatever the fuck his name was was volatile and Maxim was too tired for a knife fight today. 

Armin searched his eyes and then laid his head down on the table in defeat and lethargy, “Okay,” they heard the sound of the safe unlocking underneath the table, “I’m coming.” His voice was a soft complacent whisper, “But, what will,” Levi tapped his foot on the ground and Donner whined and bit at his leg, “Erwin and Eren are drinking capris suns and they’ll be fine together tonight.They can get the fuck over it.” His eyes were bloodshot and his reason finite. “Hurry up.” 

He left the room and Armin put his papers away in the desk. “Maxim, just…I know you’re high strung, at least that’s what I’m going to assume, and I am too and so is Levi. Levi, that was Levi, has an anxiety disorder and its bad today. He had some bad dreams. We’re a complicated family so just take a moment before you fly off the handle.” Maxim’s eyes narrowed, “What the fuck are getting at?!” Armin smirked, “That, exactly that. What I’m saying is that Zadkiel didn’t understand our living situation and he flew off the handle when he stayed with us and it just made a big mess. It’ll eventually make sense. Come on, I’ll give you the address and you can follow us to the house.” 

Maxim got up and Ilya appeared, “Where are we going, Maxi?” His tone was off. “We’re going to their house to stay.” “Wrong.” Armin stopped looking at him, “Yes, you two will be staying with us.” Erwin appeared with Eren and the others. Everyone was ready to head out the front door, “No, because _we’re_ going to eat. We have not had any food. I did not forget, Maxi.” The corner of Maxim’s mouth twitched and Eren and Erwin both gave each other a knowing look, “Come to the house and eat.” Eren looked to make sure that was understood. He was toeing the line of when English and Russian blended together. Ilya smiled, “Then we come, now.”

The drive back was as to be expected for them. Ilya talked about a cute girl he met. Maxim filled him in on Levi and they both agreed to keep an eye out. Ilya said he felt something when he saw him, something important. He wanted to follow him. That angered Maxim because that’s how he had felt too and Maxim Aristov bowed to no man, not even the King. When they parked they took a moment to admire the mansion before them, “They are rich.” Ilya whistled, “Filthy.” “We should burn this house to the ground.” Ilya laughed, “Maybe not, look.” They saw the other two boys from the shop. “All six live here? Maybe that’s the weird living situation he spoke of. At least this makes this large house more acceptable.” Maxim remembered something, “He said…that they are having a child but I don’t understand. Can homosexuals have children here legally? Do they…steal them or what?” 

Ilya’s back tightened and his shoulder were more drawn up than before, “People are people, Maxim.” He said the words somewhat defensively. A tense moment passed before Maxim continued, “I know that. It’s just pointless. You can’t have children together that are biologically yours. We have to have children…that our genetically ours or adopt from our own you know…it’s important….it’s also…they should have mother and father….” Ilya was uncomfortable, “You need to eat.” Maxim sighed exasperated, rolling his eyes, “You need to shut up.”

Ilya was still tense. His large inhaltion pierced the silence, “Have you ever dated someone?” Ilya said suddenly and Maxim unbuckled his seat belt, “No.” “Why?” “Why? Because, they were just hook ups and not….dates. No one in the tribes has caught my eye and” he paused before adding quietly, “I’m not ready to settle down. I’d rather make money, fuck without strings attached, and expand my control. Women like to fuck gangsters but marry? No. Date? Maybe if we give them things but they’re always ready for a hot fuck while I count my money from the capitalists.” Maxim ended pompously, but his pomp was show, a part of the massive ego that he needed to live. Ilya looked out the window, “That’s what I thought. Maxi. I didn’t know if when I was in Ukraine you might have fallen in love.” He ended on an exaggeratedly sappy note and Maxim made to get out of the car by opening his door, “Hardly. Strippers and whores don’t fall in love.” 

"Strippers and whores, huh?" Maxim cut his eyes over, "What about you? Inka doesn't count from childhood and I’ve seen you flirt but not much else." Ilya smirked, "Well, there have been a few but the serious one was in Ukraine. I was just curious what you might be looking for in a girl? We’ve never discussed it because, you know, we’ve been doing other important things like killing pigs and fighting for our lives. Also, puberty has been a while and we were pretty tame, probably because we’d been through such traumatic stuff." Ilya’s tone was tighter than usual but other than that nothing much out of the ordinary so he’d try and give him an answer. Maxim had never really thought about it and he didn’t understand why they were wasting time talking about it, "A girl. Attractive. Clean. Christian. Reserved. Can take care of herself but lets me take care of her too." Maxim sighed, face contorted in frustration at the whole thing and his attempt at defining some ambiguous person he wasn’t and had never been searching for. Ilya knew Maxim well enough to know that he was finished with the conversation.

Ilya frowned slightly as they got out and headed towards Erwin who was on the phone, “You took her home? She was that sick? What did David say? Oh,…..you didn’t tell him on the side?......well, she knows her body better than us. I heard……so that is true……no, Levi doesn’t know yet but I think it’s a nice idea. Maybe he’ll want to do something like that here with Berkovitch?..... I know you don’t care but we do!....Listen, I need to go, talk to you later.” Erwin hung up and gave them a smile, “I’m sorry, this is just all shit. Can I speak in English?” Ilya nodded, “Slowly, please. We’re not used to the…” “Accent,” Maxim supplied as if he’d just figured it out. That really was part of the problem. Erwin nodded, “Zadkiel, you met him, he took our friend Mikasa home because she is not feeling well.” Ilya nodded, “Sick how?” “She’s pregnant.” “Mazel tov.” “Toda. Eren, the boy with the green eyes, remember?” Maxim huffed, “Oh, I remember.” Erwin smirked, “She’s his sister. She is married to Levi’s brother, David.” “This is complicated.” Maxim said with some interest. He liked to solve things and this was a nice change of pace.

Erwin shrugged, “Tell me about it. Well, her husband, David, would be very upset if he knew. He took her home and David doesn’t know yet. We will not tell him she is sick because she does not want him to know.” Erwin finished lamely and Maxim snorted, “She is the…dominant one in the relationship?” He smiled amusedly and Ilya grinned, “We will not say anything but…why tell us?” “Because, Zadkiel is going to come later, David is going to leave now, tomorrow more people will be in and out of our house. We are in the middle of renovating some of the rooms.” “What does renovating mean?” Erwin thought about it, “Реновация. (Renovatsyia)” Ilya rolled his eyes, “I feel dumb. Homonyms.” Maxim pushed him and nodded, “We will be fine, we just need sleep” “And food.” Ilya’s stomach grumbled like a monster, “As you can hear, my stomach speaks for me.” Erwin smiled, “Let’s go inside.”

Inside Erwin showed them to the kitchen and asked them to sit. Commander came running inside and meowed at Erwin’s feet, “You want up?” He said looking down and then at the sound of an insistent peep he picking him up holding him in his arm while he purred. Maxim and Ilya watched from the table, Maxim tucked inside of his side and Ilya didn’t turn away. He knew that Maxim was a sensitive person but that he feared being seen that way to others. A mafiso couldn’t be vulnerable. He knew he was tired and scared, they both were. But, Ilya had always believed that as long as they were together they could do anything. They would help their king and that would help their people. Right now, however, Maxim’s face was telling Ilya all about how he was feeling: out of control, lost, scared, defensive, confused, and possibly on the edge of destroying everything in sight. Maxim was a burn everything and salt the earth kind of person. 

Maxim smiled a little after Erwin let Commander down and he came to jump up next to him, purring as he brushed against him. Maxim loved cats but they didn’t have any around the tribes. Dogs were more useful. Ilya laughed, "Little kitty,” his English accented and voice serious, “don't you know whom you purr on? Maxim Aristov, the greatest mafiso in all of the Siberian Forest. Mother Russia stands behind him, her most dangerous son." He reached over scratching and petting Commander with Maxim. 

Erwin opened the fridge and frowned, "I.....haven't cooked for myself....in a long time." "Let me do it." Eren was changed and he looked upset, "Why are you upset?" Eren shrugged, frowning as he walked over and started making something. He eventually mumbled, "Just hurts my feelings a little bit." Erwin hummed, "I know. Mine, too. But, this is a good thing." Eren was still pouting, "The dreams were Armin you know…." Erwin helped Eren put things away and started the oven, "Ohhh well, that explains it. You're probably not who he wanted because he never got to know what happened to Armin. There wasn't any closure, you know? He has you now and there is some closure because when we were supposed to lose you we didn’t. He’s rarely had any closure with Armin. They get torn apart horribly. At least we have a few good times. And then there was that one life we were all really good and you and Armin were our wives legally because you were women and we had children and it was wondrous and happy like a fairy tale." Eren looked at the vegetables before dead panning, "Erwin, we had kids and then BAM black death…” Erwin shrugged, “So? It was a nice life till then.” Eren nodded and then smiled, “How Jewish you sound! Yeah, that actually makes me feel better. Thank you for that." Erwin smiled, "Good, I'm stuck with you tonight. I hope we can at least go to bed on a good note. This is fine. It’s completely okay." Eren raised an eyebrow, "Stop pretending you're not jealous, Erwin. You're going to smother him tomorrow. I saw the flirting at the party. This cramped your style and you barely play nice." Erwin kept his face a bland happy, "Nooooo of course I'm not jealous. I'm fine. I'm just the size of a human teddy bear you want to win at a carnival but you know why cuddle with me?" Eren burst into laughter, loud voice boisterous and egging on, "Yes, YES! UGH LET THE JEALOUSLY FLOW FREELY!"

Maxim and Ilya were content outwardly with Commander but they did find the conversation very confusing and a little anxiety inducing. Maxim cleared his throat, “You and Armin are married. How?” Erwin and Eren exchanged unsure glances, “Well, America legalized gay marriage. But, I hate saying that because they basically legalized marriage between anyone. Its how it should have always been.” Ilya and Maxim stared but Maxim had a slight frown, “But, where do you get married? Churches won’t perform such…marriages?” Erwin nodded, “Some do, some don’t. You can go to the court house or get married by people not religiously affiliated.” 

Ilya grinned, “This sounds like a good thing. Russia doesn’t…uh…allow this.” Eren put the food in the oven and then went to the fridge getting them water and then he boiled some for tea, “Yeah, Russia is against a lot of people and their lifestyles.” Maxim seemed uncomfortable, “It’s because….this…is against God. Its….It’s against the church.” He didn’t say it in a way that offended or provoked, both Eren and Erwin understood that he was simply working through it on his own. Erwin had noticed the lack of any openly gay couples and it seemed strict religious beliefs and the push to have children made it so. Maxim clearly had been raised God fearing and this was probably the first time he’d been around people like them and oh, boy, was he going to get a crash course in all things alternative lifestyle.

Eren turned around, “I think I understand you. You have an issue, not with gay people, but married gay people because it conflicts with your religious background.” Maxim was guarded and Eren felt the hostility building. Ilya stepped in, “He’s the only Christian leader in the tribe now. He is often made to feel bad about this. He is often made to protect himself and his beliefs. There are only a few more and they are looking to him always for guidance when they are…persecuted.” Eren understood what that must feel like from his mother’s stories, “Are you Russian Orthodox? Which is Eastern Orthodox.” Maxim nodded, eyes still guarded. He reminded Eren of a caged animal, he reminded him of how Levi sometimes was. Erwin was also feeling a little bit too uncomfortable by how much Maxim was like the Levi before Baidschi. “I am. You have a problem with that, little punk?”

Eren checked the oven, he tried to fight his urge to yell, “Nope. It’s how I was raised.” Maxim’s eyes widened just a bit and he looked honestly stunned, “Really?” “Yeah, my mother is Eastern Orthodox and my father converted before they were married. I was baptized in Turkey in an old Cathedral and my christening name was Eren Maria Jaeger. I was raised orthodox my entire life.” Maxim shifted, “Where….where um…do you go to pray here? I need a place to go on Sundays.” Eren grimaced and Erwin whistled, “Well, I’m a Jew. I don’t go to a church.” “You were baptized? I don’t understand.” Eren steadied himself, “I converted to Judaism. I felt called to it.” “That’s ridiculous. Only God calls through the son. He would call you to orthodoxy, not Judaism.” Eren grimaced, “Errr…nope. Not in this case. I’m a Jew and that’s what I was meant to be.” Ilya switched topics, “You’re married too? I see a ring.” 

Eren smiled looking at it, “Yes, to Levi. You met him, right? He’s handsome, short, black hair, souless blue eyes and a deep monotone voice. That’s meh bae.” Eren grinned proudly while Erwin chuckled. They nodded, “You are gay too?” Eren shrugged, “Yep.” Ilya’s back was tight again and Erwin watched in interest as he cut Maxim off from beginning on another inqusition, “We’re tired. He’s tired.” Commander crawled up on his chest and Maxim sat quietly through their late dinner that was to Ilya’s delight, kosher.

****************

Eren was to take them to the room they’d be in and before he did he spoke with him in the pantry, “You keep staring at Maxim.” He whispered and Erwin’s brow furrowed, “He looks so much like him. Alma, she did too but this is crazy. He has sharper lines, fitting with the lifestyle. His eyes are like when Armin is the Two Wolves. Hair is similar to how he wears it too, that’s just too weird not to focus on.” Eren nodded, “You’re right….do you think they’ll get along?” Erwin hummed, “I hope so. I think they’d be happier having some family that’s close….I can’t speak for Maxim but I know Armin craves something like that, something like David is to Levi.” Eren pondered that, “You’re right. But, you think he’s hot.” Erwin tisked and waived Eren away, “Hush, of course, he looks like my husband. He’s hard and Russian and very much like sadistic Armin.” Eren smirked, “Too bad he’s so blatantly heterosexual.” Erwin’s eyebrows raised, “Huuussshhh before you get us in trouble honey.” He leaned down kissing him a few times sweetly. “Maybe cuddling up to you tonight isn’t so bad?” Eren slapped his arm, “Let’s go to bed already.”

Now they were upstairs and inside of the room. Eren put their bags down and handed them “overnight packages” that Levi had with all kinds of toothpaste and deodorant and sanitary products, “I know, you probably have your own stuff but Levi is crazy about hygiene and he doesn’t want guests to forgo their bodily care when they stay. I know…I’m sometimes a rebel and I am punished but I don’t recommend it because I want the punishment if you know what I mean.” Ilya laughed and Maxim managed a somewhat amused look in the eyes, “I’m sorry this is the only room we have set up as a guest bedroom right now. We’re renovating for nurseries and for security reasons.” Maxim looked around the [room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/7d/b9/8b/7db98bd437a2bfc7faa69ef4ed39950c.jpg), He was intrigued “Security? Why?” “We are adding a panic room since we’re going to have children we can’t always fight or leave with them.” Maxim didn’t understand, “So, it’s a room for panic? You go there when there is danger?” “Yes.” “Okay, I understand.” He nodded looking around the room before continuing, “That’s smart. Little children can’t fight or run well.”

Eren snorted, “Wow that was something Levi and Armin would have said. Is it okay if you two share? I mean, you’re friends but maybe that’s…” Ilya grinned, turning to Maxim and saying in Russian, “He worries you won’t want to share a room with me because of your religious beliefs.” Maxim turned to Eren, “No, this is fine. I’ve known Ilya since I was a very small child. I lived with him. Thank you for your kind hospitality and consideration.” Eren smiled and his eyes twinkled, “Well, things will eventually settle down and we can get to know each other better. Please, I know we’re a lot to handle but give us time.”

After a few more minutes of chit-chat Eren left and Maxim and Ilya unpacked and changed. Maxim pulled on a long sleeved cotton black shirt, black sleeper pants, and took his rosary in his hand clutching it to his heart. “Maxim, it’s so warm. They have a fire place. I can sleep in shorts!” Ilya stripped pulling on a white short sleeved shirt from his bag that was roomy for him, leaving his boxers on as shorts and then he jumped into the bed, “We don’t even have plastic on the widows. Wow, it’s like staying at a hotel!” Maxim smirked, “You make it sound like we live so third world.” 

They did, it just hurt to admit it. They hid themselves from the modern world, most had water, half of them had hot on tap, glass would break and they had to use plastic in the deep winter, some never used glass in the first place, firewood was always being cut, stoves were important, they had spotty electricity and had grown independent of it, in and out of cities they knew about technology and used it but they could never rely on it, ever. The men with iron teeth were not supposed to assimilate. They ranged from ultra-orthodox to reform Jews and then the Christian family but they had their own lives and culture. “This room is…is a guest room.” Ilya snorted, “They’re so rich it’s sickening.” Maxim stood by the fire place, “Why even have it colder in here so that you can use the fire place?” Ilya smirked, “That’s the point. One of them must like to use the fire place year round.”

They heard footsteps and then mumbled noise, “Zad, they’re in the other room settling in, leave them alone.” Eren or Erwin must be telling Zadkiel where they were, “Are you,” Ilya began and Maxim turned around, “What?” Ilya played with his bracelet, “It’s been two years since we last lived together.” Maxim had thought about it but, “You act like we never see each other. We see each other almost every day.” Ilya corrected, “Almost every three days. That’s the average, Maxi.” Maxim knew that but it really was shameful, “Okay, we’ve been busy,” “You’ve been busy,” “whatever and it’s closer to three years, you idiot. You’re one to accuse of forgetting.”

Ilya smiled, “I didn’t forget. I was just checking to see if you remembered.” He smiled wickedly and Maxim turned off the lamp getting into the bed. “We haven’t shared a bed since then either. It’s like were kids again.” Ilya rolled around from side to side bumping into a frowning Maxim. Maxim grumbled, “I don’t miss you kicking me or doing dumb shit, idiot.” He did miss it. He missed it badly. But, that was just a weakness.

He felt the beads run through his fingers while they lay there. “Take it off,” Ilya’s request came like a ghost’s whisper. He looked over, laying on his side to face him, “please, you’ll keep counting and not fall asleep.” Damn Ilya and his perceptiveness. Both of them were geniuses, they had been tested by the chief Rabbi and given special extra-activities to help them. However, their strengths definitely lay in different places. Ilya seemed like a social person but it was all show. He was just able to after years of Maxim’s training fake human social interactions convincingly. He had okay motivation and was actually a strong person emotionally. He was creative but only just above average but his perception skills were off the charts. Maxim on the other hand was elevated completely. He was smarter but not by a whole lot, emotionally sound too but that was subjective. Ilya was always controlled and reliable. Maxim was volatile and ego based. He was very creative, he was totally intrinsically motivated as was proof in their current situation but he had a super inferiority complex that made him perfect for Ilya’s lack of social skill. They really worked well together and helped one another.

Maxim sighed, “Just for tonight…I’ll take it off.” Ilya smiled rolling over and taking up half the bed while Maxim removed the necklace. He felt lighter, like generations of people were no longer clawing at his chest and screaming out for redemption. Ilya recited the same prayers of Maxim’s childhood memories: 

“Praised are You, Adonai, our God, Ruler of the universe, who closes my eyes in sleep, my eyelids in slumber. May it be Your will, Adonai, My God and the God of my ancestors, to lie me down in peace and then to raise me up in peace. Let no disturbing thoughts upset me, no evil dreams nor troubling fantasies. May my bed be complete and whole in Your sight. Grant me light so that I do not sleep the sleep of death, for it is You who illumines and enlightens. Praised are You, Adonai, whose majesty gives light to the universe.”

It all started to hit him again, years of sleeping apart and then all of this week’s changes and traveling bringing them to this moment. Maxim felt himself start to shake. He rolled over, wiping his running nose and the tears from his face. He pulled the cover up higher and buried his face in the pillow.

“Lie us down, Adonai our God, in peace; and raise us up again, our Ruler, in life. Spread over us Your Sukkah of peace, direct us with Your good counsel, and save us for Your own Name's sake. Shield us; remove from us every enemy, pestilence, sword, famine, and sorrow. Remove all adversaries from before us and from behind us, and shelter us in the shadow of Your wings. For You are our guarding and saving God, yes, a gracious and compassionate God and King. Guard our going out and our coming in for life and peace, now and always!”

He felt guilty, he felt sorry for everyone and everything that ever happened to them. He felt like Ilya was going to regret leaving. He thought they’d, his tribe, forget him. He was having issues reconciling everything that had happened. What was he going to do here? How could he help them? Why would he leave everything for these people he didn’t know? Why did he feel like he’d been called here to do this? Ilya rolled over, he could feel his eyes boring holes into his back and the judgment he passed over him.

“In the name of Adonai the God of Israel: May the angel Michael be at my right, and the angel Gabriel be at my left; and in front of me the angel Uriel, and behind me the angel Raphael, and above my head the Sh'khinah.”

Ilya moved closer but never touched him. They’d shared a bed since they were ten and he knew that Maxim liked to sleep close to someone but didn’t like to be touched first. He had to fall asleep and then move on his own. Ilya knew where it began. He used to share a bed with his oldest sister and Maxim had never gotten over his nightmares that sometimes plagued him and made him hate, nay dread, going to sleep.

Ilya moved closer to Maxim, emboldened by the neediness he saw in Levi tonight. His lips moved, the air ghosting over the back of the other’s neck moving his golden hair, and Maxim shivered, “In the Name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit…” He listened to him the entire time, aware of how scared he was and how strong Ilya was, “Into Thy hands, O Lord, I commend my soul and body. Do Thou Thyself bless me, have mercy upon me, and grant me life eternal. Amen.” Ilya stopped and Maxim said amen and then there was some heavy silence till Ilya broke it. “See, Maxi, I still remember and I’m not even a Christian.” He could feel him smirk and into the darkness he sank.


	113. Sub Low

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's some bdsm at the end. You've been warned.

Levi and Armin were cuddled up in the bed that night, quietly cuddling with one another but their peace didn’t last long. Armin had whimpered and cried from frustration as he explained the plan they had made for combating the cult all while wracked with his own anxiety attack. Levi listened patiently, his own anxiety merely eased by his sheer presence and the smell of Armin. He rubbed Armin’s back who apologized profusely for being so cruel, so selfish that he wasn’t helping him and that made Levi smile sadly. Levi turned the lights out and they held one another, limbs tangled, breathing mingled. Levi asked Armin to tell him stories, happy ones and Armin did. He told him about what he and Eren used to do as kids, what Jean’s favorite movies _really_ were, what Erwin liked to read on the toilet and that made both of them burst into laughter, “Manscaping Monthly?” Levi said incredulously. Armin’s eyes sparkled, “How do you think he keeps those eyebrows so majestic?” Levi kissed him, “I need to spend more time with him.” Armin hummed kissing him again, “Yeah, you do. I need to spend time with Eren because he’s my bestie.” Levi smirked, “And me? Am I just something on the side?” Armin’s smile was wicked, “You’re my dark desire.” He shrugged, “We all just need to share a bedroom, honestly.”

Levi chuckled, “No. Our kids will be so confused if we do that.” Armin grinned and then became a bit mischievous, “We all need to sit down and talk about that. Since we’re all going to be in the same house, I think we should have different names to cut down on confusion. I think Erwin should stay daddy,” Levi rolled his eyes, “Eewww,” Armin smirked, “Shut up, Eren should be baba because he’s always wanted to be called that actually and perhaps you should be aba, and I don’t know yet about me.” 

Levi didn’t respond for a while, “I don’t know. I’ll think about it. But, I don’t know if I’ll go by aba….maybe….” Levi held him closer suddenly and Armin felt himself sag, it had been meant to be a hug and Armin left soft open mouth kisses on his chest, “You think we’ll be good parents? I’m scared I won’t be because I never had a real role model.” Levi huffed, “Because you’re worried about being a good parent means you’ll be fine. You and David are so similar like that.” Armin smiled, “I hope…” A lag in the conversation and Levi was thinking about going to sleep, “I hope I can have a relationship with Maxim. I hope that he’s…I’m scared he’s going to be someone who is bad for us, you know?” 

Levi knew he was worried because he was too. Maxim and Ilya seemed nice enough. Maxim had that fellow gang leader vibe and he kind of like that. Hence, why he like Marco and his father so much. He’d known the second he saw him who he must be and it was like Armin was made of fluff and marshmallow compared to him but that simply wasn’t so. Armin could be the most lethal of all of them. He had even thought that Armin had somehow come outside of his party and changed when he first walked up, that was how drunk he’d been and upset. But his eyes, they told him all he needed to know. _Those eyes have oceans within them._

**************************

She stood hunched over as he walked by, her head covered with an Aegean colored scarf, her voice floated over to him like the air of a raven’s wings, 

"Your father's name was Saul; your brother’s Goliath. And David, he reigns in his kingdom with his son,” she paused, “but where is his brother? Does he have birkat HaMelech?”

Levi turned on his heels to look at her in the dark of the night. Her jacket crushed navy blue velvet, black modest blouse that was loose and hit above her knees and leather black pants and boots. She looked modern orthodox and while pants were still frowned upon many women were now wearing them but keeping the clavicles and elbows covered. Her scarf rested around her neck and on her shoulders. 

"Who the fuck are you?" He started off harsh, she had unnerved him. She turned meeting his gaze full on, "Your daughter." He felt off, she looked so much like…He shivered as he held her gaze, "I don't have a daughter." His whisper was nearly eaten by the sound of a car whizzing by. He felt like she was telling the truth but that could not be.

Her voice reminded him of his mother’s and what those eyes reminded him of, "Not yet. I haven't been born." Her face was beautiful, full pouty pink lips so sweet, her hair platinum and almost white like the woman from Baidschi, her eyes large and doe like, "You don't look like me." She smiled a little, "No, I don't at first glance. I have your nose, your jaw, but there are a myriad of subtleties that have blended well with other genetic markers. In short, I look like myself and you'll say I favor my baba, that’s what you were just thinking. Look at my eyes." Green, viridian and there was no denying they were exactly the same color as Eren's and they held the lethalness of his own behind them. 

She was breathtaking as he came closer, he literally could not believe how pretty she was and there in her face, right in her nose and mouth was his mother and a little bit of him in the bridge of her eyes, "You look like..." She smiled, teeth white and straight, “If Armin and Eren had a child, yes.” Then she became serious, sincere, “But I will be like you in the heart. I will have it pierced like yours." She took a step back coy like and there were small glimpses here and there of his mother, Eren, and then himself. He took a step forward and then she was gone and Levi felt crushed at the emptiness in its wake. He’d wanted to hold her, love her, and ask her things. He’d only ever wanted a daughter and he loved her at first sight, this strange beautiful girl. But, that was ridiculous as he was now alone and the street was wet from rain and the air cold. Downtown was dark and he needed to leave before Eren worried, "You're drunk Levi," he started to mumble to himself letting the empty bottle fall on the pavement, "go home."

*********************

Armin rolled over in the bed the next morning, hands searching for Levi. He liked how he held him and to find himself out of his hold was odd. Levi saw him and pulled him closer. They didn’t need to talk about it. His hands pawed at Armin, fingers rubbing on the skin, tightening their hold on the mounds that made Armin emit the smallest of submissive noises. "Do you think something is wrong with me? Why won't Eren or David tell me about..." Armin was done keeping the secret, "You're too close to developing schizophrenia. They felt like telling you would make you go over the edge and so we were all trying to hide it." There, it was said. Levi had quieted down after he said it, "Huh, you are too. We were asked to do the same. We’re so similar, mami." Armin sighed, his nose was pressed into Levi's hair, "Yeah, we're both so fucked but we can get better. Do you want to get better?" Levi shifted, "Yeah, I have to. I have to be okay for my career if I go back to it, for Eren because he needs, no _deserves_ it, and so that I can be the best father to my children. I'm afraid Eren is angry with me about…it all….that you are too." Armin shook his head, "No, neither of us are. We accept it for what it is....what it was."

"I had," Levi sighed, "a dream.” He stopped and didn’t want to talk about it anymore, “But, Armin, I love you. I love you so much. When I'm feeling a certain way, I can't explain it, you just get me and it makes me feel a little less crazy. Erwin and Eren, they heal us differently in that they love us unconditionally and they don't have to understand anything to do that. I love that you understand and you accept. It’s not acceptance out of unconditional love that tends to just let things go but you willingly stay....you stay and you have every reason to go because how can we ever be healthy together?"

Armin took his face in his hands, “We can be healthy for each other because we want to be. We are good for each other because we have to be. We are attached, I am attached to you.” Levi’s eyes closed, “Then help me, please. Help me love Eren the best I can, Erwin the best I can. Help me give them what they deserve. Oh, I am so wretched! We are so wretched!” Armin was crying slightly but he laughed, “No, we are not wretched. We are Jews.” They kissed rolling in the covers together as the news turned on and the fire place popped on with its timer.

"Do you think it's a good plan....what I told you last night?" Armin whispered and Levi kissed his fingertips that he'd brought up to play with, "I think everything your beautiful mind comes up with is. But, I think that we shouldn't address the Wall explicitly when we take to cult out. We should instead just take them out, take Uri hostage for more information." Levi grunted in frustration when Armin spoke, "Will you hold me?" Levi paused, "I am?" "No, closer." Levi pulled him into his arms as Armin snuggled his head under his chin, "I was scared that they were going to tell us something bad." "Maxim and Ilya?" "Yeah. They're forbidden to be here." Levi thought about and found that an interesting fact, "Sometimes, rules must be broken." Levi wrapped then in the blankets and Armin eventually pulled away playing on his phone, "What are you planning, mami?" Levi's voice was low and curious, "My demise?" Armin smirked, "Of course." He lowered the phone kissing him teasingly, hotly, "I just got us tickets for a concert and we're going to have a weekend all to ourselves, Velvel." 

Levi hummed, "Where and to what?" Armin grinned, "Disturbed and Rob Zombie in Montgomery like the last concert. I am so excited but we can't tell Jean because he'll die and want to go. Now, if he gets tickets on his own that is one thing but I want you to myself and I want to be kinky as fuck." Levi rolled his eyes, "When are we not?" Armin took a second to do his bestie a solid, "What about with Eren?" 

Levi knew he’d been trapped, "Mmmmm I've been debating." Armin was forceful, "Do it. He won't break. He'll fucking love it and you'll have him in the palm of your hand. Just a warning, he's stubborn and doesn’t use the safe word when he should. So, keep an eye out. It hurts play but better safe and a little play than none or a whole lot of pain."

Levi pondered that, “How far have you two gone?” Armin pursed his lips, “Mmm nope. I’m not going to tell you. It isn’t worth it and I like the mystery.” Levi gave him a deadly stare, “What if we do a trade of secrets?” “I am interested in secrets.” “I have them.” “Share.” “You must go first.” “No.” “Then we are not going to come to an agreement, mami.” “Seems we wont.” “I’ll fuck it out of you.” “Impossible. I only sleep with my husband.” Levi snorted, smile on his face as Armin tried to roll out of his arms, “Unhand me you filthy beast!” Levi pinned him on his stomach, teeth on the back of his neck, slight growl, and Armin went limp and then his back arched and Levi was excited about the promise of that arched back but then the door opened, “Oh, this is what they were meaning…they are the orgy havers.” 

Ilya and Maxim were in the doorway, Maxim’s eyes wide in shock and Ilya’s lips lopsided in a grin that should be illegal. Levi looked up, “Don’t you brats not know how to knock or do they not teach manners in Russia?” Maxim’s eyebrows furrowed and Ilya laughed, “I like you.” “We did knock, idiot.” Maxim mumbled and Armin’s eyes shown, “Maxim?” “Yes?” Ilya looked at him and was curious to see where it went, “would you like to run errands with me today?” He asked in Russian hoping that it would translate better and Maxim looked around, “Yes, I would.” Armin crawled out of the bed and Levi pouted, “I want my secret.” Armin turned to face him, hip popped out, lips turned up in a foxy smirk, eyes lethal, “I want mine too, but what can you do?” He blew him a kiss and Ilya burst into laughter, “Oh, wow, you two are definitely related!” Maxim hit Ilya.

*********************

When Maxim left, Ilya was a little lonesome. That morning he’d been so happy waking up in the same house and even in the same bed as Maxim that he laid there softly breathing and remembering the good times when Maxim’s family was alive and his as well. He remembered how beautiful his sisters were, so beautiful. His oldest sister had just gone to the schaedchen, matchmaker, and was anxiously waiting to hear back. His second oldest sister was actually pretty rotten in comparison to the others and pushed her oldest sister around, “Hurry up and marry one of the matches.” She said it constantly while Ilya and Maxim laid in the floor in the furs and blankets reading, “Rachel, you just want me to marry the first guy I see?” “Yes!” “But, what if he is not a good match?” “Surely, he’d be a good match. He’d be a handpicked match.” Maxim tensed up, he loved her and didn’t want her to leave him, “Shut up, Rachel! You just want her to marry so you can! Who would marry you?!” Maxim hissed standing up from the blankets and getting into it with her. He was vicious and Rachel was just as hot headed.

Ilya rolled his eyes internally, _everyone._ Rachel was considered the prettiest girl in the village, all of Maxim’s sisters were but Rachel’s beauty was the traditional Jewish dream. Her hair was luscious, dark like river mud after the ice melted, her eyes two pools of brown with tinges of green and gold. Her lips were red like blood and full. She had a slight tan as opposed to the others who were as white as the fallen snow. She looked exactly like one of her ancestors and her photo hung in the red corner of their house. It was rumored that they had mingled with Romani and every now and then the genetic lottery chose to bless someone with its treasures. 

Maxim’s other sisters, Elianna and Barbra, thought boys were gross and Ilya had agreed with them that girls were too when they discussed it. But, just because he wasn’t interested in things like that then didn’t mean he wouldn’t ever be and he kept that in mind as he looked around wondering if one day he may dare to marry into the Aristov family. Rachel began to cry, her signature move that angered Maxim more than words, and off she ran to their mother who despite being a strong modern woman often enforced the stereotypical “You’re her brother! What’s wrong with you, making a girl cry? Girls are sensitive and you should treat them with care! Maxim Vasily Aristov, you know better and I am ashamed of you.” Ilya and Maxim had both gone back to the room Maxim shared with his sister and finished their reading while Rachel cried and his mother sang. He missed those days, especially looking at Maxim here, now.

“Stop staring, idiot.” Maxim mumbled, his eyes opening, green and blue hypnotizing as they held Ilya’s sea green ones, “Was it worth it?” Maxim looked confused, “What?” “Moving into your own place and you know, out mine?” Maxim’s mouth was dry, he had to come off sure despite his complicated internal feelings over the three year decision that had put an uncomfortable wedge between them, “Of course! It’s made my tribe stronger now that I’m there with them the entire time. I have a few stay with me when they come to trade. It’s a place we can practice our faith and,” He faltered but Ilya supplied him with the words, “and bitch about living with Jews?” He started to grin when Maxim pouted, “I get it, I get it…but I never kept you from bitching about living with Jews. Remember, I always let you teach me about your faith and I have always been there for you when others….when you were seen as turning to the Reiss way of living.” Maxim’s stomach hurt from the mere thought, “I don’t hate you, I don’t hate our blood, I just don’t believe what you believe about salvation and the afterlife. I just want to live and practice the way I was raised, just like you and the others. That’s why it hurts so badly when I’m seen as potentially dangerous. I would never lead a pogrom against my own people. I would never…hurt you.”

Ilya stretched a little, “Nice to know. Well, I am glad to have gotten that out on the table.” Maxim’s eyes fluttered close, “No, you’ve got more to say.” Ilya admired his lashes, “I do but it doesn’t matter.” That made Maxim angry. “Never does with you.” he grumbled feeling his lips turn down at the corners in disgust. Ilya shrugged and Maxim continued, “Idiot, good luck finding a woman to put up with your ass.”

Ilya grinned, “Might have found one last night.” Maxim’s eyes opened, “Don’t get so cocky.” His tone was scathing. Ilya and he shared a tense moment. Maxim couldn’t understand why Ilya was looking at him like that, it made him nervous, “I am not jealous you may have found someone. I told you, I have other things to think of and if I want to fuck someone I can pay for it.” “Why pay?” “Because, it’s a reputable profession” “It’s not very popular among Christians, lots of stoning and such.” “To me it is. Mary Magdalene was a whore.” “That’s not true, it was the Mary mentioned right after her. The Marys are different.” “How do you know so much about the New Testament?” “I keep up with my dear Maxi’s beliefs. So, while your bible still has whores, the main woman Jesus favored wasn’t one and that proves that the lens your text was written through was a particularly patriarchal woman hating one. At least we Jews have the Talmud and other texts to help us break out of that mindset.” Maxim’s neck was turning red and he hit Ilya’s arm, “SHUT UP!”

Now Ilya was laying on the bed, frowning, and wanting Maxim to come back so they could argue some more. There was a tapping at the door, “Hey, man…” One of the boys from last night was in his room, “I’m Jean.” He extended his hand walking over and Ilya took it, “Ilya, nice to meet you.” Jean seemed tired, his hair messy, shirt covered in dry paint, “I know you speak Russian and your English is really good but just let me know if I need to slow down or repeat myself or somethin’.” Jean mumbled and Ilya laughed, “Thanks. How may I help you?” “I was wondering if you wanted to hang out and we could get to know each other.” He was really excited, “Yes! I’m all alone and I want to make friends.”Jean rubbed the back of his neck, “Do you play video games?” Ilya knew what they were and he had played arcade games in Moscow a few times, “I…uh I know what they are but not played that much.” Jean smiled, “Wanna try?” “Sure.” 

Two hours of Mario Cart and Pac Man later the two were close friends, poky sticks on the floor broken, cans of coke empty, a few open containers of cold take out and then they were on their backs among the pillows sharing a joint, “I think it’s funny you smoke weed.” Ilya smirked, “Not often. It’s not…legal.” Jean huffed, “Not legal here either.” “No…if you’re caught, you will not go to jail, you are shot. It is forbidden to sell drugs in our gangs but Maxim, he does. Does not do them, though.” “Why?” “Because it….he saw his mother’s father kill a man. He made him eat cocaine, so much he died.” “Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.” “Da, not good way to die.” “No, damn. Well, um…so Sasha…” “She your girlfriend?” Jean smirked. 

“Nope. I’m with Marco.” “You’re gay, too?” “Bisexual, actually. Marco is gay, Erwin is gay, Armin is gay, Eren is gay, Levi is bisexual too.” Ilya smiled, “David and Mikasa are the only heterosexuals?” “Umm well, I used to date Mikasa, then she dated a girl, she was pretty locked in as a lesbian, but fate had other plans and she met David and they were like BAM together. David is straight as hell. Sasha is straight, Connie is straight, you saw them all the other night. Our friends Hanji and Mike are straight; they have a little girl named Mila you’ll be seeing around a lot. Jury is out on her because she’s gotta grow up, you know?” Jean grinned and he looked dashing, a little high, but dashing.

“Damn, Ilya, you’re easy to talk to.” Ilya smiled, “I know this.” Jean and Ilya laughed until he got a phone call, “Babe?....Yeah, I, OH SHIT! I’m…I’m _high_ babe….” Ilya started to grin as Jean freaked out, losing his shit like Maxim did when he was presented with information he didn’t agree with, “Okay, okay, then we’ll head over there. I love you, babe.” Jean started to pull on pants and looked over at Ilya, “Man, you like music?” “Yes, very much.” “Cool, we’re gunna go to my studio space on campus to pick up some paintings and then we’ll head over to my other studio space and jam out for bit.” Ilya went into his room to [change](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/aa/5e/53/aa5e5304437e866103ad001a73ec6240.jpg) into something acceptable before they headed out to the truck where Marilyn Manson’s “We’re from America” blared and they headed to the university.

*******************

Ilya found the university building of art to be amazing and awe inspiring. He had always wanted to study at a university. It wasn’t that he needed, too. His schooling had been wonderfully adequate if not a little sporadic and he and Maxim had kept each other challenged and their Rabbis had been impressed and tested them often. Unfortunately, they had never had the experience of being normal children or teenagers or performing normal things that people their age did. Ilya and Maxim were both 20 and by all means they were more than halfway done with their life. They never expected to live past 25 and Ilya figured they leave premature families. They had killed a lot of people, caused a lot of bodily harm to other, they ran things in their communities, were responsible for others and the direction and preservation of their tribes. It was a lot for young boys.

“You look stunned.” Jean said as he started to wrap a few paintings up. Ilya nodded, “I am…you’re so lucky to live such a life and have such money and education.” Jean frowned, “Yeah, I am lucky. But, just know that not everything is what it appears to be. I’m not rich by any means. I live in that house by the kindness of Levi and Erwin’s heart. I am just now making real money painting and that’s all luck. I’d be a starving artist if a few key things hadn’t happened and I honestly could have done without them.” He paused thinking of Armin dying, the attack, all of the crazy shit these past two years.

He continued, “And we’ve all got our baggage. I’m not trying to act like this isn’t the privilege of the bourgeois but…” He smirked, “God, it is but I promise I’m not blind to how lucky I am.” Ilya smiled when a familiar face appeared around the cubical wall, “Oh, Ilya.” Sasha smiled and then waved at Jean, “I thought I heard you.” Jean rolled his eyes, “I think you were stalking the snack room.” “Free snacks are nothing to turn down. I’ve been pulling an all nighter working on my digital project for my Food Truck logo project. It’s killing me.” 

Jean nodded, “Where is Connie?” She shrugged, “Dunno. He’s been super weird.” “Oh,” Before Jean could continue Krista appeared, “Hey guys! I was with Sasha showing her how to use the printers. I still have weekend access on my card.” She smiled like bubble gum and sunshine and Ilya felt off. Nothing was wrong really, except Jean’s demeanor changed ever so slightly. Ilya took stock of the situation and quickly realized that Jean was not okay with this girl and trying very hard to make them all think he was. “Hey, Krista. Where’s your girlfriend?” Krista snorted, “Ymir decided to play basketball with our neighbors. What are y’all up to? Oh, by the way, I’m Krista.” She held her hand out for him to shake it and she gave him the most goddess like smile. Her eyes were kind, her face sweet, her aura golden. “Ilya.” “Ilya? That’s a strange name.” “I’m strange person.” He turned to smile at Sasha who gave him a coy smirk. Jean smirked himself, “I guess with looks like that I should invite you to come listen to jam session?” Sasha nodded and Krista beamed, “Really? Awesome!”

************************

Krista danced around as Jean and Mike played while a very annoyed Connie played on drums, his eyes trained on Sasha and Ilya who were in their own little world balancing crackers on their noses and speaking about food from Russia which Sasha was very interested in. “So,” she began coyly, her Romanian sounded like a cool stream in Summer to him, “we had a bet.” He raised his eyebrow, “We did. I said I’d guess where you were from and if I was right then I could take you to dinner. If I am wrong I have to tell you all about Russia.” She nodded, turning on the couch crossing her legs and looking at him, “Exactly. So, where is my family from?” Her grin told him she thought he’d already lost, “Sibiu.” Her face fell, “W-w-whhaaaattttt? HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT!?” She playfully hit his arm and he laughed, “I just do. So now I get to take you out.” She blushed, “I’m not too upset but I wanted to know about Russia.” He smiled, “I’ll need your number.” She put it in his phone and Jean yelled at Connie for playing nothing but quarter notes for almost two pages.

*************************

Armin and Maxim had ran a few errands in Eren’s car when he called him, “Armin, I had an idea.” Armin made a turn, phone not on blue tooth because he had no idea how to do it in this car, “What?” “Let’s do it.” “Do….IT?!” “YES, IT IS PERFECT! NOW THAT MAXIM AND ILYA ARE HERE WE CAN TOTS MAKE IT WORK!” Armin was smiling like a fool, “Take Levi’s car and meet me at home depot, they know us there.” Eren squealed and Armin made a U-turn, “Maxim, we’re going to another store.” Maxim looked around out the windows. He was quiet like Levi and that was fine but Armin could feel the tension, “I…I really want us to become close, like family. I don’t have any and that which I do have is horrible and very unwanted.” 

Maxim snorted, “Reiss are horrible people…being related to them makes my skin crawl too….but I guess we could maybe make it work.” Armin smiled, “Eren and I had been thinking of a project we could all work on to become closer and heal and that’s what we’re going to go do now.” Maxim didn’t understand, “To heal?” Armin bit his lip, “Okay, well, when Erwin left it created issues. Levi got too upset, he got sick. I’ve been sick, mentally. You understand?” “Yes, it…made you all…psychologically unwell?” “Yes. We need to heal ourselves and David said that he made Levi go to work with his hands.” “Good idea. The land and our people are one.” “True, so we’re going to make our own kibbutz project.” “What is that?” Armin’s face lit up as he yelled excitedly pulling into the parking lot, “WE’RE GOING TO BUILD A-“

Inside the store thirty minutes later Eren slammed money on the table along with Armin, “TINY HOUSE MOTHER FUCKERS!” Eren and Armin started to dance around the cash register, “Tiny house mother fuckers, we buildin’ a tiny house fuckers, tiny houses mother fuckers, lots of tiny mother fucking houses,” Eren was throwing his hands up and raising them up and down while Armin made duck faces and danced like he was dropping it hot in the club, “You see our tiny shit, mother fucking tiny things, here’s my tiny ass stove” “for bakin’” “here’s my tiny ass sink,” “I might even bathe in it,” “here’s my tiny ass toilet,” “for tiny renewable waste,” “this is my tiny ass fridge,” “I WILL NEVER RUN OUTTA SPACE!” “Tiny house livin’, were tiny house livin’. We’re” “IDIOTS YOU ARE EMBERASSING ME!” Maxim hissed while holding a box of nails, “Making such a tiny house, hah! You live like kings, making homes you don’t even need with small materials such as these. I hate you.” He pouted and Armin and Eren stared, “You are so grumpy.” Eren said before Armin laughed taking the nails from him, “Sorry, Maxim. We get carried away.”

Maxim looked at all the materials, “This will not fit in car.” Armin smirked, “No, not all of it. We’ll have it delivered but a good deal is coming with us now. That’s why I told Eren to grab Levi’s car.” Eren was whistling, scooping things into the plastic bags to carry out when his phone rang, “Hey sugar,” his tone was sickeningly sweet, “Mmm we’re at home depot. Max is with us….really? Cool!.....Naw, we’ll pick something up….Well, y’all have fun and junk, sweetie pie.” He had this huge shit eating grin on his face when he hung up, “Jean and Ilya are heading to the studio space and they wanted to know if we wanted to grab dinner but we gotta get this stuff home and have them follow us before our husbands find out.” Eren gave an exaggerated “oh no” face and Armin laughed. Maxim was a bit surprised Ilya went with Jean or anyone anywhere. He had hoped maybe that he’d wait at home for him to return.

Maxim walked outside with them, “Do you think they will not be happy?” Eren and Armin shrugged, “Put it to you this way, we do what we want.” Maxim smiled, really smiled, “I like this.” Armin laughed, “Oh, yeah, you’re going to fit in.” They rode to the house and found a suitable spot for everything to be put in and that’s where they’d build it. “I gotta call David.” The phone was ringing and Eren snorted, “Speak of the devil.” Armin gave an amused look, “What’s with you and your phone calls today?” “I know, right? Hey! I was just talkin’ about you!” 

Armin spread the tarp over the wood with the help of Maxim, “So, we should get to know each other better. I know we hung out but we didn’t really talk and that’s fine, I don’t want to force anything. I think we should do what Erwin and I did on our first date.” Maxim looked defensive, “What did you do?” “We each got to ask ten questions.” “What kind of…questions?” “Whatever you want, honestly. I asked weird things like….what was his favorite book and did he like the feel of velvet?” Maxim chewed his lip, “This….I will….think about it.” Armin nodded, “Okay.” 

Eren ran over, “David and Mikasa want us to come over for Shabbat dinner.” Armin paused for a moment, “Maxim, too.” Maxim was amused he wanted him to come with him since he was normally left out due to his personality, “Yeah, yeah, we’ll bring him.” “Did you tell him?” “Yep.” “Was he excited?” “Extremely EXCITED!!!” Armin shook his head, “You’re such a nerd.” Maxim followed them out of the woods and into the house where Erwin was standing in the foyer, arms crossed, stern look on his face, “I just got a call from the bank, Armin.” Maxim felt himself prepare for a fight. Things like this in the tribes didn’t go over smoothly and he was ready to choke a bitch out if he had to. Armin merely shrugged skipping towards him, “That’s nice, daddy.” _Daddy? What the fuck?_ Maxim’s eyes bulged when he understood and then his cheeks felt hot. He knew he wasn’t actually blushing, it took a lot to make him really blush but his control was lessoning as Armin skipped right into his arms sing song-ing, “I love you!”

Erwin remained stern, “They asked if I withdrew $10,000 from our account.” Armin moved back and forth on the balls of his feet, “I did.” “I know. I had them check the camera.” “Then what’s the problem?” “That’s a lot of money, Armin! What did you need it for?” “A surprise?” “A surprise?!” “Yeah, you’ll see.” Eren moved forward, “Levi’s going to get the same call.” “NOOOoooOOOOoooooOOOOOoooooPPPPppppEEEEEEeeeee Because,” He swirled around, “ _I_ used MY money. I am not that stupid.” Erwin’s raised his eyebrows, “Wow…for once you really did think ahead.” “HEY! THAT’S OFFENSIVE!” “But, true honey.” Erwin demurred and Armin crawled up further till he held him around his waist, “It’s a good surprise. I promise. Plus, where is my car replacement Erwin?” “Umm.” “What about all the random jewelry you just bought?” “Um….” “The trips planned, the food bought without me, the fact you spend money like a mad man. Who does our expenses?” “Levi.” “Yes, and me. Because, I like to do them and he lets me run the numbers a second time as a failsafe.” “Ooooohhh uuummm you’re” “what, Erwin? What am I?” “Not…supposed to ever see any of those receipts….” Armin dead panned, “But I do so what’s $10,000 of _our_ money?” Erwin chewed the inside of his cheek and they fell into silence. 

Eren knew it wasn’t really silence, simply that they were waging mental war with one another and a thousand arguments and potential arguments were flowing through their heads at lightning speed. Eren turned to Maxim, “They’re fighting silently. Come on, we’re gunna head over Mikasa and David’s place. Hurry up!” He said to the other two and then they all piled into his car heading over with a bottle of Israeli wine.

****************

[David](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ae/0d/91/ae0d912b21ad6c9f1827ce46f08033ce.jpg) was laying on the [couch](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/fc/e4/74/fce4749ccb60b762ed58e7a9e4017cd5.jpg) with a book when [Mikasa](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e0/47/3b/e0473b5f3bb30c21ca3e8614afb4e7f1.jpg) walked past, “Is that a book on parenting?” David blushed, “Maybe…” Mikasa laughed, “Mami, don’t make fun of me. I’m nervous and this makes me feel less so.” She was washing the vegetables, “I can’t believe they weren’t having Shabbat dinner.” David nodded, “I know, but they are now.” She paused, “I had not thought of that.” 

He stood up walking into the [kitchen](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/00/6a/c2/006ac216009a8d0b12e41af29fa71b14.jpg), “Do you want to light candles and say prayers, mami?” She felt him wrap his arms around her, hands on her stomach, her love for his sweet nicknames and constant affection made her blush, she was so lucky, but still she took the moment to insert something practical, “I want a bigger kitchen.” He hummed, “We’ll talk to Erwin and Levi and see what contractors can take a look. But, mami, you did not answer my question.” She turned around to kiss him, “Yes, I’m elated to have Shabbat at my house.” He smiled against her lips, “Me too.”

The door bell rang and she moved to head to the door, “Probably Jean since he’s only a few buildings over.” She walked quickly, noting the strange feeling of her little “on board buddy” as they got bigger and moved around. The door was knocked on again and she felt strange, her hand hovered on the knob and David was there in seconds, “Look through the peep hole.” She did and she blanched, “I…I don’t want to answer it.” David heard the tone in his wife’s voice and he immediately pushed her away from the door, “Should I?” She shook her head no and he looked through the peep hole, “They’re gone.” “Okay…” “Who was it?” She looked away, “I just didn’t like the feeling. I’m not sure who it was.” David chose not to push it and soon Eren’s rambunctious laughter could be heard, “I never knew that!”

When Eren came inside he was all arms and smiles. Armin followed handing David the bottle of wine but he took the hand of someone else and when he stepped inside David and Mikasa contained their shock but it was clear to Armin and Eren who had known them for a while and their brand of politeness. Armin sighed and Maxim glared, “I know, we’re twins. This is Maxim, he’s my second cousin. His grandmother was my Opa’s sister. He’s one of the men with iron teeth.” 

David and Mikasa nodded and Eren continued to be oblivious to the things around them, “Can you show me the nursery now, pleeeaaaseeee!?!?!?” Mikasa snapped back to reality, she took a moment to address him directly, “It’s nice to meet you, Maxim. Make yourself at home.” Maxim regarded her, eyes wide like saucers, he liked her voice, “You’re the most beautiful pregnant woman…that has ever existed…probably….” She smiled softly, “You’re much too kind.” David leaned over to kiss her, “No, he’s a man who knows.” David chuckled as she scooted off to show Eren the [room.](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/7b/e2/a5/7be2a5fcd91d268428dc52a690ec07c0.jpg)

David hugged Armin patting his back before shaking Maxim’s hand, “So, I take it you are here as a bearer of bad news?” Maxim shook his head, “No, no bad news.” David smiled before saying in Russian, “Would you mind speaking with me in Russian? I never get to practice.” Maxim smirked, nodding cockily, “I’m here because I want to destroy the Reiss family. I’ll do whatever it takes. If they’re in Tennessee then that means they’re here, too. They’re watching Armin and Erwin just like we should be watching them. I hope that there is some sort of plan already?” David lead them into the living room and they followed taking in the sight of the nice eclectic apartment.

They had really made the blank canvas of an apartment their own and Marco and Jean had really helped out with that. “I agree. Perhaps, we should address the fact that we know they can see us? Because of this, we may want to be on the offensive because that might not be what they expect.” Armin pouted, he thought that was very odd and not at all like something David would normally have come up with. “No, I think we should let them believe we are blissfully happy enjoying the visitation of our two relatives. I don’t want them to know they are men with iron teeth.” David smirked, “You want to lead a “normal” life and have them think we’re not thinking of them and pull an inception like move on them?….how movie plot of you.” Maxim snorted, “Honestly, the sooner we strike the better. I say crush them. Their blood shall be upon them for the evils they have done.” It was like a hammer had come down and Armin watched him through the side of his eyes. David listened to Mikasa in the other room talking to Eren who was squealing about the nursery theme and Maxim took a moment to look around, “How long have you and your wife lived here?” David smiled, “Just about a month.” Maxim nodded but didn’t speak further. 

Armin looked at his hands, “How are you, Armin?” David’s voice was soft and comforting. Armin looked up, “Great.” It was strained slightly, “Really?” Armin sighed, “Erwin’s on the phone outside….something about Levi.” David’s face was concerned, “Oh, I should speak with him then.” “No…I don’t think it’s anything. I’m just really…I keep thinking he’ll go away again.” “Understandable. But, you’ve got to trust that he won’t go unless he has to. I think in our lives we can’t say “he/she won’t do it again” because we seem involved in things that are increasingly upsetting.” Maxim seemed interested in getting to know them better and figure out the dynamics here, “When we get home, can we play the game?” Armin and David both exchanged glances till Armin remembered, “Yes, I’d like to.” Maxim played with his rosary and Armin smiled to himself.

After a while David spoke again, “You must hate the story of Leah.” Maxim turned, face sullen and enraged, body coiled like a cobra, “Shut up.” He barked and David merely kept the same expression one would expect of a psychologist, “my apologies, I did not mean to offend. I think your eyes are a sign, it means you’re going to do great things. Maxim means “the greatest.” You were chosen by God to so something. Maybe you came here to do that or maybe you came here to get to know your relative? Also, the attitude isn’t necessary with us. No need to keep up the badass Mafioso king vibe. You’re kind of encroaching on Levi’s territory and he’ll always be the badest Mafioso of them all.” Maxim glared and frowned but Armin felt a flutter of hope. Maxim wasn’t able to deny that he’d come to meet Armin and hoped maybe he’d be a family member worth having, another tribesman. Armin and David laughed when there was another knock at the door. David got up to head over to open it when they saw the [candles](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/1d/e6/78/1de6783c4524f7f86aac96d24693acf5.jpg) near the door. Armin sighed, “I like those candles.” He looked to Maxim who scowled more, “I don’t like him.” Armin’s face was reprimanding, “Hush.” Maxim’s head whipped around, fire in his eyes and hot coals in his throat, “Did you hush me?! I’ll fucking kill you, you Reiss lap dog.” “Hush because he’s right. Levi’s our resident grumpy cat.” “I don’t know what that is!” “MY GOD GET ON THE INTERNET!” 

Jean was talking to David when they heard another voice, “Maxi! There you are!” Ilya’s voice boomed as he pushed past David and headed into the side room, “I had such an awesome day! What was your day like?” Maxim pouted, “It was a day.” “Ohhhh Maxi, surely you did more than just sulk? No, probably not. Anyway, Jean and I went to his studio, then a shop and,” “I don’t care.” “Yes, you do! We went to a guitar shop and then to their music space and,” Ilya proceeded to sit right next to him and talk his ear off while the others watched and those who knew Russian listened. Maxim was very much like Levi and they wondered what had made him like that when Erwin and Levi entered.

Mikasa was now cooking and Eren helping her. They would eat in the [dining room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/3e/e0/e8/3ee0e8a1ae56b65ea786cbc16b5f3ca5.jpg) that was decorated for a wonderful Shabbat. Levi pushed passed them all, Maxim’s eyes trained on him and Ilya’s too as he still spoke to keep up appearances. Levi came up behind Eren spinning him around and kissing him, “Shabbat Shalom, ahuvi.” Eren smiled against his lips, “Shabbat Shalom, Neshama. Why are you in such a good mood?” Levi looked very serious, most would say he looked the same but Eren knew his faces now so much better, “I just missed you.” Eren blushed, smiling shyly, “You saw me the other day and you chose another’s company over mine, remember?”

Levi frowned and pouted. Eren continued, “Hmm but I guess this is your way of apologizing and declaring that you can’t live without me and my endless love for you.” Levi smirked, pinching his nose, “Brat, shut up and kiss me.” Eren kissed him, swooping down sweetly, and they stood in the kitchen, lips moving against each other until Mikasa turned hitting them with her spoon and shooing them out of the kitchen.

******************

Shabbat started but everyone noticed how the two Russian’s stared at Levi, even after Marco and Zadkiel showed up and told them all about how they had been accosted by the preachers on campus and watched a drag queen throw bibles at them in the name of God. Marco had a headdress on he said the queen bequeathed him when she left, clutching her purse and wearing her five finger shoes into the student center. Jean loved it, taking it and putting it on while he and Marco shared kissed and talked about upcoming projects. Mila’s second book was being finalized and that meant they would be back to working on illustrations and long nights and no love. 

Zad sat with Erwin, something that everyone could tell delighted Erwin and made Mikasa smiled. He had been trying to keep his distance but Zad fell in love every day more and more with his biological son and it pained him. He made small talk with the newcomers, he had kept his eyes on them and was the most hesitant about them being there, but he was his same cold self but he relentlessly teased Armin, “You’re looking normal today.” “I tried just for you.” “How sweet! When we get home, do me a favor, will you come and speak with me around bedtime?” “Why?” “Because everything you say puts me to sleep and I haven’t been sleeping well.” “I’ll curse your name and offer your soul up to demons.” “I doubt you posses the ability. You’re all sugar and nice, no spice.” “I’ll purge you from this existence you creature.” “You’ll bless me and my name for generations, I get it. Stop inflating my ego.” “Is it was any bigger it would explode so please allow me to be the one that makes that happen.” Maxim was impressed with Armin’s undercurrent of sass.

The dinner went well and everyone was excited, a few groans were to be heard, when Eren and Armin told them about the forced family project of building the tiny house. They would start next week on construction and hopefully end at the end of October early November. Everyone had a good time and Maxim and Ilya were feeling much more relaxed. Maxim spoke with Mikasa about her work and he was very impressed with her level of control and the general peacefulness she exuded. He also could not get over how beautiful she was and how much she just knew about everything. Eren and Levi kept to themselves, speaking and kissing softly. Maxim watched Levi intently; he noticed things about him that reminded him of himself. He watched as Levi held Eren, lavished him with attention. From what he gathered he was cut off person, not good with expressing his emotions. In fact, he had been told by Armin that many people had no idea how sensitive he really was and only Eren got to see the depth of his kindness on a daily basis. He didn’t know if Levi would be a healthy thing for him. He didn’t know if he was ready to grow or open up about how he himself worked. But, he watched Eren and wondered if he could ever make someone smile that bright and be that happy.

Armin and Erwin danced swing style while David played big band tunes over the speakers and he and Marco partnered up since Mikasa declined. Marco was a wonderful person and there was something about him, a kindred spirit feeling, that Maxim enjoyed and wanted to explore. Jean and Ilya were at the table drinking and laughing again as Maxim watched. Occasionally, Ilya checked his phone, apparently taken with technology much more than he was. Ilya fit so well among them all and Maxim remembered that this was the first day he’d not thought about finding food, resolving feuds, or collecting from those who owed him money and he was glad for the break. He was glad that Ilya was smiling.

*********************

[Armin](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/9d/8d/9d/9d8d9df98ff0f113822bd60fa3832ff1.jpg) walked into the living room after they got home in and Maxim’s eyes widened, “Do you not like my pjs?” Maxim snorted, “Not really.” “Why?” “They are pink and we already get enough shit for being so feminine looking. I’m sure you also had the bullies...” Armin understood his point, “Hmmm well, you sound like someone who isn’t very in touch with themselves.” Maxim’s anger flared but he tried to keep it down, “What is your favorite color?” Armin blinked, _so he’s starting,_ “I like baby doll pink,” he touched his pjs, “I like baby doll blue or really really light sky blue. But, black and green are also some of my favorites.” Maxim nodded, _I like those colors too but…_ “What is your favorite book?” He hadn’t expected Armin to ask that, “ _The Idiot_ by Fyodor Dostoyevsky.” Armin quirked his lips at the corner, _So, I now understand you better…_ “Do you believe in God?” Armin’s world halted, “I don’t know….when I look at Erwin I do but…people like he and I…we’re not able to trust what we can’t see or control. We can’t make choices based on an invisible man in the sky. We can’t wait for a Messiah to come. We can’t wait, we have to do. If it is true, if there is a God, then he will understand because at least we were doing something and not just…waiting.” Armin was exasperated at the way so many merely debated but never really took action. Maxim couldn’t agree more, “Praxis by Freier…” 

Maxim mumbled it and Armin perked up, “Exactly. Do you have any one like that that makes you feel closer to God?” Maxim felt his face start to blush, really blush and he scowled, “Maybe…Ilya….” Maxim quickly cut Armin off before he could say anything, “Where are you from?” “A small town north west of here. Eren, Jean and I all grew up together, oh and Mikasa.” “Do you have any family?” “No…I had four sisters, a mother, and a father.” “Oh, I’m so sorry. I’m an only child and you know…parents are dead…and I sent my Opa back to Germany after we figured out more about the Reiss family and his involvement….” Maxim wanted to ask him but, “What do you study?” “History.” “How old are you?” “20 and you?” “19.” Maxim paused, “Really?” Armin smirked, “Yeah, I’m about to turn 20 on November 3rd.” “Eren?” 

“He turned 20 in March. Erwin is turning 28…wow….I can’t even believe that but that’s right because when we met he said he was 25 and then he said 26 because he was turning 26 on October 14, I need to plan a party for him, and Levi has been lying to us, he’s turning 27 but even Erwin didn’t know he had been lying about his age,” “Why lie?” “To go into the military. Basically, you have to be 18 here and he lied and said he was already 18 but he was 17. And Jean is older than us and he’s 21, Mikasa is 21, and Marco is 21. They started school later and we were all in the same grade but because of some strange cut off date that schools in the state have since changed.” Maxim’s head hurt but he filed the information away, “So, you and Erwin have birthdays coming up and a child?”

“Yes, we’re expecting a child in February. I’m so excited but really nervous. Okay, so we…” Armin explained the womb to a very interested Maxim who seemed to really find the entire thing fascinating, “So men can have children in cases when, for instance, there are not women?” Armin had a perplexed but amused look on his face, “Yes, OH, in regards to the men with iron teeth then yes. I know there are fewer women than men. But, we don’t have this out yet as an official thing. Basically, we’re risking our children’s lives because well, we believe in this and have had a successful birth and we’re putting our money where our mouth is and hopefully creating a wonderful family for us to cherish.” 

“What is the weird living situation? Is it…that you have orgies?” Armin burst into laughter, “No, no, not exactly…We do marriage a bit different here, though….” Maxim’s face was not amused, “Eren and Levi are married. I am married to Erwin. Before we met, Erwin and Levi were in a relationship and Eren and I were in a relationship. It wasn’t traditional and we were all very confused. When we met Levi and Erwin, Eren and I fell in love and they did too. However, we’ve all been through so much and have such a deep history that we are all in a relationship with one another. Basically, we’re polyamerous but only with each other, us four. That’s why Levi coming to get me the other night was okay. Normally, he would have had to go without me because traditional monogamy would dictate that he can only find comfort with his husband. Not so here. We love each other but we know at the end of the day who we are in love with and who takes priority. It’s just that Eren can help me sometimes more than Erwin and Erwin can help Levi better and it just works. I know that’s fucked up and I’m open to any and all questions.” Maxim did ask questions and seemed more fascinated than appalled but he was having a hard time, “But, a marriage is between two people…” Armin shrugged, “Biblical marriage has had a lot of forms.” Maxim smirked at that, “Touché.” 

”Since I’m telling you interesting things….there is another reason why Levi and I are so close and Erwin and Eren. It has to do with the coordinate and the original life.” Maxim’s eyes narrowed, “I don’t understand.” “Okay, let me start from the beginning…” As Armin told Maxim about the power of blood and the curse he bound them all to past midnight he felt himself suddenly freed yet angry. “I have often wondered about the truth…I now have it…but I don’t know how I feel about it.” Armin pouted, “I know. I’m sorry.” Maxim frowned, “I’ll tell Ilya. I’m tired and I don’t want to be rude but I’m still adjusting to the time.” Armin smiled, “I understand.” He stood too and Maxim stood awkwardly, “I suppose this isn’t so bad.” “Us?” Armin asked curiously, “Yes.” He started to cry a little and Maxim looked like Levi did, emotionless, scared, and Armin felt like it was clear that Maxim had no idea what to do and he didn’t know why he was crying so badly either,“Sorry, I’m tired to and I can’t control my reactions. Good night, Maxim.” He went to the stairs and took them two at a time.

Maxim followed and like always, he headed for Ilya who was in Jean’s room. He wanted to get him and go to sleep.

****************

Eren and Levi were under the covers kissing lightly as the TV played and Donner slept at the foot of the bed on his own smaller doggy cushion. They had come home, ripped their clothes off, and made love. Eren knew Levi was feeling particularly sensitive today and was trying to make Eren happy. He took his opportunity, “I want to play with you.” Eren’s request was normally met with hesitancy buy after speaking to Armin Levi decided it shouldn’t be. 

“Armin says you don’t use your safe words.” It wasn’t a no but Levi was warning him. Eren worked him with all he had, pouty lip sincere tone, “I trusted him. I trust you. What’s the point?” Levi starred, “That’s playing with fire. I will burn you, Eren. I’m not nice and if we play I want to play.” Levi’s voice made warmth pool in Eren’s stomach. He wanted to play with Levi.

Eren blinked and Levi realized he’d grown a little older and his face was more handsome and full and he smirked coyly, “I want you to be my Captain.” Levi chuckled, “You want Levi from the original life and Eren from the original life?” “Yes, can we please do the things….the things we did then and wanted to do. I know you remember what they were and what Levi wanted to do and never got to because I fucking know and feel and ache for what Eren wanted.” Levi felt himself give in to his old desires when it came to Eren’s supple and willing form, “Okay, Cadet Jaeger, you have your wish.” Eren’s breath hitched, “Thank you, Captain.”

****************

Jean and Ilya were playing video games again and talking, “SOOO, you takin’ Sasha out?” He said around the straw in his mouth, “Yeah, where is good place?” Marco was in the shower washing the day’s grime off. He liked Ilya and he was glad Jean was so nice to him and open. “Myrtle Café…..I’ll get you the directions. They’ve got potatoes.” Ilya smiled, “Good.” “Are you lookin’ for somethin’ serious?” Ilya shrugged, “I don’t know. Why?” “I don’t know.” “Hmm we’ll see what happens.” “If she wasn’t would that be bad?” Ilya smirked, “I get what you are asking. If she wanted to just fuck and be friends, then that I am fine with. If she wants to date, that I am fine with. If she wants to curse my name, then I am fine with that. As long as we both know, then it’s all good.” “You’re super easy going.” “I know this.” 

Ilya put his controller down laying on his back, “How did you know you liked both men and women?” Jean shrugged, “It was confusing. I liked women and always have but then I also really….fantasized about boys and I thought it was just envy but then I had some dreams and then I kissed one. After I kissed one I made out with one, then I had oral sex, then sex and I knew that when I was with women it was the same. I was just very open minded and after I got over the initial feelings that society puts into people’s minds then I just knew. I’m very nonchalant about it. I don’t think my sexuality defines me. It does some and that’s fine. But me, I’ve got other shit to think about and worry about. My mom is okay with me and Marco and that’s the only thing that would have bothered me is if she wasn’t.” Ilya closed his eyes and took another hit, “I think….I am….like you.” Jean snorted, “Dude, I know you are. You’ve just got that vibe. I think that’s our secret power. Bisexuals get around other bisexuals,” he whisteled, “and we just fucking _know._ ” Ilya laughed, “Thank you for your open and kind attitude. You are an honest person.” Jean grinned, copying him, “This, I know.”

Ilya turned his head, “Don’t say this to Maxim. He is not so comfortable with other….lifestyles.” Jean hummed, “I won’t. I promise. But, …..what’s going on with him?” Ilya shrugged, eyes red and heavy, “He is my best friend. I know he’s scared. He’s worried things will be bad. I think you all are too.” Jean smirked, “True dat but what I meant was…” 

The door opened and it was Maxim, a torrent of Russian filled the room as he looked around haughtily, “Get up, idiot. That floor is filthy. Come on and come to bed. We have to stay on a set sleeping schedule for a while.” Ilya leaned forward putting the joint between Jean’s lips as Maxim watched a bit mesmerized at how sensual it was between them, “Tomorrow, friend.” Jean nodded, his cocky lopsided smirk devilish, “Mhm, tomorrow.” Ilya smiled and they shared a moment before he got up and walked, swayed more like it, towards Maxim, “Drugs! Honestly, you’re such a fucking idiot.” He hugged Maxim who stewed, “Who but I keep you from killing everyone?” “I am going to kill you if you don’t release me and come to bed.” Ilya gave him a charming smile, “Yes, mother.” He hit him and they went to their room and crawled into bed. Maxim didn’t count his beads and Ilya slept shirtless because he was so warm.

****************  
 _ **A few days later**_

Lips sliding up and down flesh. Teeth grazing along the sides, nose at the base, deep breath in, hands splayed out over the tan skin and pushing down on hips. They were commanded to remain still. Moving up and down, tongue lapping, twisting, teasing, prodding and that sweet smell of raw sex. 

Breathing in and out, a hum well placed, a twisting of the mouth pulling the teeth up in a cork screw motion, hands still palm down but finger tips pulling in, finger nails scratching the skin, and shaking, so much tender shaking from the body below. 

A long, shaky, breathless moan and then popping off, "I told you" the voice emotionless but husky, saliva over lips and down the chin, jaw tired from the torturously slow pace that an hour of pleasure had demanded, "if you make a sound I stop."

The other whimpered and sighed, "That whimper is insubordination in my book. We'll pick up here tomorrow. Don't touch yourself or I'll make you suffer." He pushed up off of the bed and the other did as he was told, biting his lip and feeling the crushing weight of having to wait till tomorrow, "Yes, captain."

*******************  
_**The next day**_

Eren was scrubbing the floor, his knees raw and red. He was naked, completely exposed with only a black collar made of stretchable fabric, polyester blend, on his neck. He had been cleaning for hours and when he heard the sound of boots on the floor of the bathroom his stomach dropped in anticipation, "Let me look at your work." Eren kept his eyes trained on the floor as the black boots walked around him in a circle, "Not acceptable. It's filthy like you. You're so fucking filthy and you can't do anything right. You’d think since this was the second time today I was making you clean this floor you’d have learned how to do it right!" 

Eren sat back on his haunches like he had been instructed to do from the two previous times. He gave Eren a kick to the jaw and Eren's head went to the side, blood in his mouth pooling as his head ached and teeth rattled in his skull, "Cadet, I bet you've got a dirty mouth." He squatted down slowly voice a low menacing whisper, "Let me see that dirty mouth, cadet Jaeger." Eren lifted his head and whimpered at how hard his hand came up and gripped his chin, the other forced his lips apart to open his mouth, "Tch, it's all bloody." He looked so displeased that Eren didn't dare breathe the wrong way, when he stepped back up he looked down, eyes piercing and commanding, "Spit."

Eren was conflicted. He had just cleaned the floor and that would make it dirty, "Brat! THAT'S AN ORDER!" Eren spat and it was pink saliva on the floor against the light tile. Levi sneered disgusted, "You're the filthiest disgusting creature. Clean it up. Clean the floor again, all of it." Eren reached for the brush but his hand was crushed by his boot, "Tch, not with the brush," he looked at him confused, "with your tongue." Eren leaned down, "Do you understand?" Eren paused, he made eye contact, "Yes, captain." He must not have started cleaning quickly enough. Levi took the back of his head in his hand and slammed his face down in the saliva and diluted bleach water, "Lick and look like you love." Eren started to clean the floor with his tongue while Levi's eyes contained fire and malicious intent.

_An hour and a half later…_

Eren choked on his thick cock. His hands pressed him down on the base and he held him there till he was turning blue before he released him. He'd been sucking his cock on and off for almost an hour after licking the floor of the bathroom, mouth and jaw healed from earlier, his knees still damaged now from the rug beneath him in the closet. Levi pushed him back down and the tears ran down his face freely. He loved how Levi smelled, how he tasted. Levi was close and Eren was bracing for him to come down his throat but he didn’t. Instead, he pulled him off coming all over his face, eyes burning, nose running, wrecked entirely. "You're a filthy pig, a rotten shitty cadet. You're the lowest of the low. You fucking disappoint me. I can't do anything with a shit like you. I'm going to give you a taste of what you've been hoping for."

He stood up, he took the rope and tied Eren to the stripper pole he had added to the closet at Eren's behest. He had him on his knees, hands tied behind his back, blinded by come, sweat, and tears and then it began. The beating was brutal. Eren was kicked around like a rag doll, just like in his memories and he felt that same shock all over again. His face bloodied, nose nearly broken, teeth knocked out, ribs fractured, and he loved it. He loved it and wanted more.

Levi finished and stepped back looking at his cadet, "Did you like that, cadet?" "Y-yes, captain." Eren could barely speak and Levi smiled menacingly, "Did it feel good, cadet?" "Yes, it did, captain." "Tell your captain what you are, cadet shit." Erwin took a shaky breath, his mouth full of blood, "I'm filthy, wretched, unclean. I am disobedient, reckless, and I need guidance." Levi chuckled lowly, his voice a whisper of feigned concern, "You do, you really do. I'm going to help you. I'll help you not be so fucking disgusting."

Levi untied him from the pole but kept his hands bound bringing them around to the front. Levi's face was emotionless and hard, "Do you trust your captain?" Eren was shaking and shivering. His body healing but not as quickly as he'd like, "Yes, captain." Levi took his collar moving it up to cover his eyes and blinded Eren again, "Then you're going to love this you sick ass filthy pig. You're so sick, so sick you let me do this to you." He threw him down on the ground placing his boot on his erection, "Fuck yourself on my boot."

Eren leaned back against the poll behind him and did as he was told. The tread bit into his flesh and it hurt, it hurt so good that soon he was leaking precome and fucking himself in earnest. His noises, his expressions, it was all mocked, ridiculed, and aside from those moments Levi was silent and sneering at the debauchery before him. When Eren was close to coming he removed his foot and leaned down. He took another piece of fabric and tied his cock tightly, "roll over on your stomach, cadet." Eren rolled over and waited.

Levi removed the plug he made Eren insert in himself that morning and before Eren knew it he was pushing something else inside of him and then putting the plug back in. Eren was then drug off the floor, the world dark and his senses stunted, and put inside of something, it had to be a section of the closet they used to hang things. 

Levi lifted his hands and hooked him onto the hook at the top that held a section of the rack on a pole. Eren's weight rested on the front of his feet and he whimpered as Levi turned on the small bullet he'd inserted, "Cadet Jaeger, you'll wait out your punishment like this and be so quiet I will hopefully forget all about you and leave you to rot. Only if you're a good cadet and not a shitty one will you be rewarded." Levi paused and Eren could feel his eyes on him while he twitched, shivered, shook, and his body flushed and muscles rippled because it felt so overwhelming being quiet was the hardest thing to do. Levi stepped back and shut the closet leaving Eren inside for what had to be a good two hours.

When he returned, Levi took a moment to admire the absolutely wrecked form before him. Eren's hips were moving in a fruitless attempt to gain some sort of friction that would help this release this painful arousal and the ache in his stomach. His feet were cramped, ankles feeling like they were broken, and so much pain as the flesh was burned from the harsh rope. His position on his feet ensured that his wrists and body was constantly being aggravated, worn down, and made painful despite his healing abilities.

He noticed the drool down his face and neck, the spit, his come, the everything and his body shined with sweat. The precome from his tip pooled beneath him and Levi tched at the sight, "Even contained and being punished you still made a mess." He cut the rope letting Eren fall harshly to the floor of the closet, "Clean it up, cadet." Eren whimpered and cried as he licked up the area around him, still blinded and only able to judge where by the taste and then Levi's guiding hand with his fingers ripping his hair from the roots. 

He drug him out by his hair into the bigger part of the closet and out into the bathroom, dragging him and bruising him more. When they were in the bathroom, Eren felt the abrasive feel of their walk in shower. It wasn't tiled. Instead it was cement that was textured so that one didn't slip when they were in it. His skin burned and he cried out many times over the journey but this one, so much louder, earned him a tch and a violent toss towards the deepest corner of the shower.

Eren shook as the toy vibrated inside of him. He felt Levi come up behind him and remove the plug roughly, his fingers delved inside of him to get the toy and when it was removed Eren moaned and groaned at the relief. Soon, however, that was replaced with longing and the need for completion. He heard him step back and then he took the blindfold off, "fucking filthy." He walked away and Eren heard him turn one of the handles for the shower but he wasn't met with the familiar shower of rain fall water, no, he heard the water fill what had to be a hose of some sort.

The sheer shock his body went into as the ice cold brutal spay hit him was beyond words. He thought his skin might come off as his body, every nook and cranny, was hit with the spray. Levi stepped over, spreading his legs with his foot and cleaning inside of his most private areas like a farmer might clean an animal they thought was disgustingly dirty. His face burned as the water hit it and when it was over he laid shivering on the floor, "Now there, you're all clean." 

Eren was on his stomach, chin hovering over the floor as he took a moment to compose himself and tried to will himself warm. Levi bent down beside him, "I'm going to,” his hand stroked Eren's hair softly, tenderly like one would a small animal, "fuck you like the filthy animal you are." Eren almost wanted to cry, he was so turned on by this, "What do you say?" 

His voice was hoarse, barely audible with its weak high pitch sound, "Y-y-y-esss, Captain." Levi chuckled darkly before moving behind him, spreading his legs further, lifting his hips ever so slightly. His fingers were lubed, slipping inside of Eren where he was so hot and sensitive overly now, Levi bent down, tongue diving inside of him making Eren moan and whimper like a wild animal as he rimmed him for a few long moments, when he pulled back he inserted himself slowly at an angle watching his cock disappear inside of that hot body below him.

He bent forward once inside licking a trail up Eren's back before he started a brutal, relentless, pace that made Eren moan and squeal like never before. Levi enjoyed how his face created the most devastated and pleasured expressions, he hooked his fingers inside of his mouth and Eren moaned around them as Levi hit his prostate head on every time. They were lost in the moment, they were only focused on one another and Levi was intoxicated by him. He liked how Eren gave himself to him so willingly and how much Eren got off on the fucked up shit he did to him. 

When he started to come he reached around untying Eren's cock and watched the most sinful completion of his life before his own hit him. Eren's entire body went into convulsions and Levi's hands pinned him down to keep him from thrashing so much while he laid on his back, sated, and coming down from his ultimate power high.

************

Eren was wrapped in almost every soft blanket they owned. He was cocooned in them, pillows all around like a nest and on the TV played HGTV house shows and the fire burned in the fire place. The room was cozy, light, warm, and happy. Levi held him, hands carding through his hair with such love and he looked over at the table with water and snacks that he must have made him eat and drink.

Eren shifted, getting closer to Levi. He just wanted to be held and spoiled and Levi was doing the best job of that, “We have to build that tiny fucking house tomorrow.” Levi grumbled to himself watching the _Tiny House, Big Livin’_ “in the name of shitty friendship,” show on the TV. Eren laughed and that brought Levi’s attention to him, “You’re awake, ahuvi.” Eren smiled, “Mmmhmm, I love you, Neshama.” Levi gave him an amused look, “I love you, too. How do you feel?” Eren thought about, “Pretty bad, real anxious. Don’t leave me, Neshama.” “Never.” They settled in for a day of relaxing and helping Eren come out of his sub low while talking fridge placement in tiny houses.


	114. Tiny House Day One

“Are you fucking kidding me.” Jean grumbled as they lifted the walls on the house, “We’ll never be able to move this, you know. It isn’t one that’s meant to be moved, Jaeger!” Jean’s glare was thrown over his shoulder and Eren dropped his end, face red with rage, “SHUT UP, YOU WHINNY LITTLE BITCH! WE KNEW THAT!” Armin dead panned holding the blueprints between them. He was the project manager because no one else wanted to be responsible for dealing with Jean and Eren, “We did not know that, actually.” Eren walked up to Jean, chest puffed out, “I’M NOT A JAEGER ANYMORE EITHER.” Jean seemed to grow even more enraged at that, but what he said could have been a complimnt in Armin’s opinion, right? If you squinted with your ears you could hear it, right? Maybe he’d been their mediator too long, “YOU’LL ALWAYS BE JAEGER TO ME YOU ASSWIPE! WHERE ARE THE GATERAIDS?” Eren screeched, “I DRANK THEM!” Armin deadpanned again, sighing, “We have one left that I hid from him, here you go Jean.” He handed the drink over and Jean took it gingerly but to others it looked like a straight up snatch, “FUCK YOU, YOU SELFISH FUCK! Thank you, Armin. Without we’d all DIE thanks to Jaeger.” Armin dug in his Hello Kitty back pack, face lighting up, “I also have sunscreen.” Jean turned back around, “FUCKING JESUS FUCKING CHRIST YOU SWEET LITTLE ANGEL PLEASE LATHER ME WITH THINE LIQUID SUN SHILD!” Eren pushed Jean out of the way, “ME FIRST I HAVE A BURN STARTING ALREADY!” Armin frowned, voice quiet and pleading, he really wasn’t so sassy and head strong as Levi had come to know all the time, he definitely feel back into his old self when just with Eren and Jean. Levi found it interesting that he became so emboldened around Erwin and when it was just the four of them he seemed to blossom. That’s what love and family does for you, it makes you stronger. “I can do you both if you’ll just settle down and take turns.” Levi has had enough of the scene before him as he walked up on the foundation and over to the side they were bitching at, “Brat, I told you to put sunscreen on before coming outside.”

Levi’s glare was harsh and they all felt ashamed of themselves, “Are you telling me you didn’t?” Eren grimaced, he wouldn’t meet his gaze, “I forgot, neshama.” “You mean you went to eat pancakes covered in shit with Erwin and didn’t follow orders.” Eren’s eyes were comical as they swam with unshed tears, lip pouty and quivering, “Sprinkle covered pancakes, Neshama!” Eren whined like a little kid explaining something ridiculous that had to be done or something else could not follow. Levi’s eyebrow twitched.

Erwin approached them all and wiped the sweat from his face and chest while Armin looked on shamelessly, biting his bottom lip as his eyes roamed his exposed flesh. Armin felt like a school boy when he was with Erwin. He never got tired of how he looked, spoke, walked, and looked at him. Armin’s mind began to wander when Erwin stopped just before him to the side of Levi, “Are you objectifying me, Armin?” Armin’s cheeks flushed a deep red, his voice shook a bit and reminded Erwin of when he was hiding a little kitten in his room, “Y-e-a-h.” He raised a perfectly groomed eyebrow, “But we’re married?” Erwin said with a slight amused upturn of his lips. Armin ducked his head shyly, voice a little more smug, “So? Doesn’t mean I can’t sometimes objectify those glistening muscles, those thick thighs, ass carved of Italian Calcutta marble, and fine ass eyebrows.” Erwin smiled wickedly, “Can I objectify you, baby?” Armin gave an exaggeratedly reproachful look like an old society woman in the 1700s, “Only in the most respectful way.” He ended with a cute little babyish tone making Levi groan and roll his eyes, “Ohhh, okay. I see. There is a double standard here.” “Exactly.” Armin smiled and Erwin grinned lifting the jigsaw up on the table while Armin batted his eye lashes.

Levi huffed, face the picture of exasperation, “Brat, that’s not how you nail.” Eren pouted, looking up “I know how to nail. I did it in the apartment in Paris! All of those studs and dry wall!” Levi stared and Eren’s resolve started to weaken, “LEVI!? Why are you looking at me like that?” His was whining, overreacting because he knew Levi didn’t want to tell him whatever he was going to tell him, “Hate to break it to you, idiot,” Levi pinched the bridge of his nose, “I went behind you and had to pull them out to fix them. You nail like shit, like utter shit. It’s like you’ve never held anything, lowered it with some sort of force behind it and you sure as hell can’t nail at the right angle nor straight.” 

Eren was floored, he looked at Levi with his mouth open, his face showed nothing but shock, “HOW COULD YOU?!” Levi shrugged, crossing his arms, tattoos on display with the black tanktop that Eren had found extremely attractive that morning but now he was feeling like he didn’t even know “We had a time line, Eren. _Your time line_ that I told you was madness to begin with. You were fucking it all up. I was tired of listening to you bitch at....everything, the nails, the room, and about Jean who wasn’t even there and then you bitched at _me_. _Why would you bitch at your husband?_ I did nothing but love you?! Don’t judge a man for trying to survive.” Erwin was cackling and so was Marco who had boards on the outside ready to nail down to start roughly finishing the outside for insulation. Jean also looked amused but felt bad for Levi because that sounded like Eren almost wrecked his own honeymoon. Maxim and Ilya were helping David assemble the walls that would frame the inside on the nearby grass. David snorted and everyone looked over at him but it was Levi he was focused on, “My wonderful and most beautiful wife lathered sunscreen on me, made me an amazing Israeli breakfast, and packed me a snack. Then she told me I was wonderful and could do anything I put my mind to and then she kissed me as I left.”

Levi groaned, “Shut up, achki. So my husband has nailing problems but he’s okay at other stuff even if he doesn’t do what his sister does for her husband.” Eren pouted, “I wish someone _loved me_ that much.” His head whipped to the side to stare at Levi but he was unfazed and was quickly working on re-nailing the wall down the right way. “Did you hear me?” Eren pressed, staring a hole into Levi’s face, “Mmph,” was all he got out of him.

“David, you and Mikasa are hashtag goals.” Marco was wiping the sweat from his face with his shirt, “BABE! WE’RE #GOALS TOO.” Marco grinned, “Yeah but they’re married goals.” Jean went quiet, “I guess…” Marco and Ilya exchanged a look, “He’s got fear of marriage?” Ilya asked somewhat amused and Marco rolled his eyes, “Yep, big time.” Jean jerked reaching out for Marco, “HEY!” Eren’s face was wicked, “Jean is a scaredy horse, Jean is a scaredy horse!” “IT’S CAT YOU ASS!”

Maxim’s hair was pulled back in a low pony tail and he worked carefully assembling the pieces. He had kept to himself working on his task and much of the earlier work he’d done alongside Armin with Ilya and Eren helping them on and off. David watched him and then Levi and then Armin comparing and contrasting them all. He noticed things, little similarities between the three. Armin eventually came over to get the wall that would be the kitchen and bathroom wall, a large wall that spanned the entire width of the house, and Maxim handed it over without a second thought. Others would have offered to carry it with Armin since he was slighter than the rest but not Maxim. David assumed this was because he knew Armin wasn’t weak and he had constantly been bullied about his own abilities in the tribes that he would never do that to someone else, let alone Armin. Levi was like that about his height. He only offered help when he felt like they needed it or were asking for it. David was interested in Ilya’s relationship to him now. He was interested in how this would work period. Armin and Maxim were walking around each other and they desperately wanted the other to make the first move. 

David decided to push a little noticing Ilya walking over to help hold the wall Eren and Levi were nailing down, Eren was waiting for Levi’s approval more than working, “Ilya, did you and Maxim work with your hands a lot?” Ilya wiped his brow, “Of course,” his voice was deep, timbered, like sweet maple syrup, “all the time. But….We don’t have tools like these and we don’t have…a permanent place to call home… ever. We build everything from woods and stones. We rely on stoves for heat. We build houses for people who need them because uh…we don’t always have the nails or materials and so we are used to making houses.” David frowned and the others listened with pity in their hearts too. “What about electricity?” 

Ilya shrugged, pleasant smile on his face, “We don’t have it enough to trust it. Sometimes lights, sometimes not. We keep solar chargers for phones but still use the um payphones in cities.” Marco decided to ask another question, “How many people live in one house? You said you don’t have enough materials.” Ilya nodded, “Um, houses have…maybe three rooms, kitchen, bedroom, and bathroom. Sometimes four, kitchen, two bedrooms, bath room, and two families or three sometimes can live in one house. We had more but then the Reiss family came and…they burned them you know, there was nothing left of our life and we had to leave that village and make a…new one. Now the tribes, they have houses in sections and um the heads of the tribes have a house and sometimes people who visit stay with them or live while building their houses but the heads are alone to make sure they can plan for everyone. Some tribes, if they are close or related, they share one house and that helps some other family have a home.” Maxim stared at the nails before leaning down and picking one up. He must have realized that they would notice his lack of movement. 

Erwin was whistling adding another outside wall covering when Zadkiel came up, “Nice of you to join us, Zad.” Erwin was excited to see him after the long nights he’d spent helping look over the cult information. Zad smirked, “You’re in a good mood. Get your dick sucked last night?” Erwin paused smirking, he decided to be just as krass, “Yes, actually. Armin works through a lot that way.” Zad snorted, “Your dick makes things clearer for him? I’ve heard it all now.” He rolled his eyes as Erwin laughed, “More like he feels safe and loved when we engage like that and he feels like he can think better afterwards because he’s not afraid.” Zad scoffed and they fell into a comfortable silence.

But Zadkiel couldn’t, didn’t want, comfort, “So,” he needed a topic, “when you have your child,” he helped hoist the next sheet of plywood up, “What would you like me to….do or…be called or…” Erwin had been thinking about that, “I think you should be…here and spend time with us and our child. I really, really want that.” Erwin’s voice was sincere and anyone could hear the pleading behind the words, “Y-You can be uncle Zad….you can be” Erwin took the chance, “…grandfather, grandpa, pop-pop,” “Dyedooshka, Dedka, Ded, you can use those, too.” Maxim said cutting in on the conversation while bringing more staples for the staple gun. He’d been listening with vested interest.

Zadkiel squinted at him and thought about it, “I’m not…no. Just no.” Maxim gave him a curious look, “His father and mother are dead. You are all he has left. Be like a dedka to his child. There is no problem.” Erwin grimaced knowing how delicate the situation was and Zad looked angry, lost, “Keep your opinions to yourself!” He spat and Maxim sneered, “You know what I think? I think you need your ass kicked, old man.” Zad turned, “Are you challenging me, little shit?” Maxim grit his teeth, barring his fangs, “It’s not a challenge, it’s a threat. Why are you so cruel to him? You see how he looks at you; he wants you to like him. Why are you so hard when it comes to him?” Erwin was surprised that he’d noticed. Was Maxim really that astute? Of course he was. He and Armin were so clever and he was so much like his Lee. Zadkiel hissed before yelling, “Fuck off. This doesn’t concern you. You’re just a kid who lives in the woods.” Maxim’s anger was an inferno, “It does. He’s the king and if I’m going to follow him I deserve to know into what kind of mess! His father failed at,” _Not Gabe, NO! Don’t you fucking say anything about him._ “SHUT UP!” Zadkiel rushed him but Maxim was feisty and not so easily knocked off balance as he’d hoped he would be.

He slammed him into the side of the foundation and then threw him to the ground. Maxim walked quickly as Zad sprung up off the ground, knife ready. Maxim’s face was the picture of cruelty. His smirk, the feral look in his eyes, the way he bent his knees in anticipation. Zadkiel was well matched and he was a little begrudgingly impressed. He sprung forward, blade slicing across Maxims stomach cutting the flesh in a red line that luckily didn’t go too far into the skin but it burned and it bleed. Maxim recoiled checking the cut for a nano second. Zadkiel had pulled the knife from thin air and Maxim was seething.

Zadkiel smiled wildly and then he was on the ground again, heavy foot crushing in his side and pinning him painfully down. There was a kick into his stomach and then another swift kick made him cough blood. The person that had him on the ground was a shock but he was not catching a rare glimpse of something he’d only ever heard of, “Don’t fucking do this, Zad. Don’t fucking push me.” Armin’s voice was darker, menacing and Erwin rushed to take him in his arms and pull him away from his father. “I won’t fucking kill you, Zadkiel, but I’ll make sure you learn to never lay a hand on Maxim again.” Erwin pulled him around burying him in his chest and walked off to the house through the woods. Armin’s muffled violent threats in his chest made Erwin even sadder about the issues they were fighting over. His husband needed a break.

Maxim was to the side of the house, shocked and momentarily stunned when Zad rolled over on his back, “So, he’s already loyal to you….Fuck.” Maxim snapped back, “We’re both…quick to fight it seems.” He had caught a glimpse of Armin’s alter ego they’d mentioned and he was terrified, “He’s like Erwin’s mother, a spitfire. She would have done the same. Has done the same but I was you in the situation.” Maxim’s stomach was red and he started to feel along the length of the cut.

Zad rubbed his face when Levi walked over, “If you make him snap,” his voice low, hard edge like a blade, Maxim immediately went on the defensive again, “I’ll skin you and leave you tied to a pole in the woods where the insects and creatures will feast on you. You will survive the skinning, trust me.” Maxim’s skin prickled with gooseflesh. He had never felt more afraid in his life and Zad merely blinked, “I’m still not sure how I feel about you, Levi.” Levi’s expression never changed nor did his voice, “The feeling is mutual. Do us a favor, get with the program. None of us have had perfect lives. We all come from some tragedy. Erwin loves you, needs you, and he’s hoping you’ll be there for this milestone in his life. So, stop worrying that you’re betraying your dead brother and instead honor him by loving Erwin. Be his other father. You are his biological father, remember. Or are you still acting like that means nothing to you?”

Maxim filed all the new information away, _so that’s it. He’s his real father. That means he was, is maybe, the chosen king too._ “I don’t know why she didn’t love you. Maybe she did and just couldn’t admit it after fighting so hard for Gabriel. It doesn’t matter, really. But, you have this wonderful young man, this true leader, jewel, golden angel and you’re wasting the time you could have with him and with the last piece of Marilyn and for what? Honor? I don’t understand the small nuances of your relationship with your beloved brother but I’d wager he wasn’t the wonderful person you’ve dreamed him or built him up to be. He sounds weak.” Eren appeared, “Levi” he pleaded, “stop…that’s too far.” He reached out to take his arm but Levi shrugged it off wounding Eren, “No, I’m not stopping. You need to fucking listen.”

“This man allowed Jamal al-din Abulafia to bleed him dry, rape his wife, and even kept him in his university and for what? What would have been the downfall of cutting him off? Why didn’t he just fucking shoot him?!” Levi was blood red, “FUCKING SHOOT HIM AND BE DONE! IT WAS THAT SIMPLE! Why did neither of you kill him? How many chances did you all have you never took them? Where were you? Fucking Russia. Where was Marilyn? Being terrorized and then she died. She leaves her child and what does he fucking do? HE SURE AS HELL DID A SHITTY JOB PROTECTING HIS ONLY SON! He let Owen Zacharius watch over him like he was his real father his wife filled more lawsuits than anyone could imagine trying to protect him but his own father was too busy playing professor!” 

“And I heard she told you not to kill him. Why?! WHAT THE FUCK DID MARILYN REISS KNOW THAT WE ALL DON’T?” He spat and Eren tried to get him to calm down but it just made him more angry. He continued, voice a hiss of hatred, “Then there’s Gabriel, a man I never met and I don’t think I would have wanted to because he sounds like a spineless pacifist who gave the fuck up before the fight even began. You see someone who is great, powerful, smart, but he was a shitty sellout, weak, and just a little over average intelligence because if he’d been as wildly fantastic as you all say he’d have strung Abulafia up in the basement and dissected him alive. I know I sure wish I had.” 

Eren knew it was getting out of hand, everyone was just staring in silence, “If Erwin hears you it will hurt him so badly.” Levi sneered, he was too angry to listen to reason, “And now tell me this: How is it that Gabriel was with Uri Reiss and was able to write a note for Erwin? Why is Marilyn treated like the Virgin Mary? Why is he just this blob in the middle of so many moving parts? I think Gabe managed to trick her, too. He tricked her just like you. I think you think that too and that’s what eats you.” Zadkiel’s eyes were full of fire and he wanted to bash Levi’s head in with a rock. 

Levi moved closer, face taunting and severe, “I know you want to kill me. It doesn’t matter because you know what I’m saying is true. I lived with a piece of shit stepfather that had an entire community fooled that he was a man trying to redeem himself. On the outside everything was perfect but inside of that house I lived in fear every day, every second. He’s so much like what I’ve come to learn about Gabriel Smith. I don’t believe in the devil but I know hell exists and it’s located at 5 Ten Eyck St Brooklyn, New York 11206.” He yelled as Zadkiel reeled at the accusations, “Your brother used to interrogate Erwin about everything, every little interactions. He’d sit for hours and make him analyze the most banal interactions with people. He made him perform rigorous physical acts. He ran his house like a drill sergeant just without the yelling. He was a paranoid man and his constant guilting of Erwin that he needed to come back here to Maria and work with him reminds me of the shit I lived with, of the things that made me the way I am. I have never left those things, those moments in my life with that man and that apartment, that _false home!_ ” 

Levi’s face was red, his eyes stung, he was going to break if he didn’t catch himself, “His nagging, his waking Erwin up in the middle of the night to run emergency drills or interrogate him for whatever practical reason, the questioning of what was worth dying for and not, all of it is fucked up and not something a father would do. I know that because every man that tried to use the title in my life was a farce and abuser. Erwin doesn’t even realize the shit he went through and how it’s affected him. He has repressed so much. Who holds the death of a mother over their son for that long? Who makes her music the source of so much tragedy in his life?!. GOD, THERE’S NO DIFERENCE BETWEEN A MANSION IN MARIA AND A TENT HOUSE IN WILLIAMSBURG. Shit is shit, abuse is abuse.”

Zad ran his fingers through his hair, he felt like his heart was exploding, “Gabriel had problems but he did his best. You just don’t understand how-how it was all so-so,” Levi spat, “Not buyin’ it.” His barked the words and Eren jerked at the way they flew out of his mouth like knives, “Why don’t you tell me some of those secrets I know you’re keeping, Zad? Huh? Why don’t I cut them out of you, live vivisection, I could take you into the barn where Eren was tied up.” David moved forward and was ready to end it. Levi wasn’t going schizophrenic but he was seriously threatening him.

“That’s enough Levi.” His voice was controlled like in his army days but his eyes told a thousand tales of sorrow. Erwin and Armin had reappeared. They’d not gone far and heard it all. Armin was still a little wild eyed, his face flushed and swollen around his eyes, he kept looking at Maxim’s stomach and then back to Zad. Erwin looked upset but that wasn’t even a fraction of how he felt on the inside. David took the moment to re-direct the situation, “I think we should get the walls up and roof on the house and call it a day. We’ll do the inside of the walls tomorrow. We all need to cool off and remember why we’re here and why we’re doing this. Okay?” Levi held Erwin’s gaze. He tch’ed and walked back over to the wood pile. 

Max didn’t dare breathe and Armin took a drink of his water from his bottle that was attached to his belt buckle, “Eren, help me get the loft boards cut ad done so we can install quicker when that’s ready to be done. We gotta pain and stain them in place.” Eren followed him, eyes trained on Levi the entire time wherever he went and then back to Erwin. Ilya walked to Maxim’s side and pulled at the hem of his shirt. They didn’t need to talk and Ilya’s trembling finger tips told Maxim that he had actually gotten very, very mad.Zadkiel walked up to Maxim as everyone started to move. Maxim and Ilya didn’t want to fight him after finding out so much about his story and the way it related to everyone else. They were surprised when he extended his hand to Maxim. Armin’s eyes were like a falcon trained on them and Zad looked to him before turning back to Maxim, “I’m sorry. There’s more to the story. I’m just sensitive about it and I’ve always been quick to fight.” Max nodded, “I am sensitive in this way, too. I am also ready to fight.” Ilya smiled, “We’re Russians,” he shrugged, “if we’re not drinking, we’re fighting.” He smiled wickedly and they all three shared a moment. 

Marco and Jean were sitting up on the walls, “Well, you know, if you think about it,” Marco’s voice got all of their attention, “this is kind of the point of the tiny house, like David said and I mean this is why Armin and Eren wanted us to do it. We’re supposed to work on our shit and come together. Like, Jean needs to work on his fear of marriage,” “HEY!” “and Eren needs to learn how to be more detail oriented and not just blindly charge into something or assume he’s perfect,” “MARCO, YOU WOUND ME!” “Armin needs to work on controlling his double personalities and his fear of abandonment,” “This is true.” “and Erwin needs to reconcile his need to be liked by everyone, his subsequent need for things to look perfect and controlled on the outside, and his possessive selfishness that suffocates those he loves the most,” “that sounds bad when you say it like that,” “and Levi needs to learn to trust and share with people more because this was a lot of new information for all of us,” “tch,” “Ilya is a mystery still but it must be something to do with Maxim” Ilya’s mouth fell slightly open but he merely shrugged and pleasantly smiled, “and Maxim has trust and abandonment issues that are similar to David but David’s fears are much more internalized until there is a threat and then he probably goes psycho,” “I do.” “so he is probably freaking out about becoming a dad, which Levi and Erwin and Eren and Armin are all doing too on the inside, and then there is me.” 

Jean looked at him, “Well, someone else has to state what I need to work on.” Armin snorted, “You’re perfect, freckled Jesus, so shut the actual fuck up.” “I have a flaw!” Eren said suddenly, “You like Jean.” Everyone was quiet as it sunk in and then a trickle of laughter came from everyone. Jean rolled his eyes, his voice was softer and more vulnerable than usual, “You really want to push me to get married and we haven’t talked about kids, finances, where we’d move,” Levi’s brows furrowed, “Move? Why would you move?” 

Jean paused, “Because….there’s no way you’d want three families under one roof.” Levi looked hurt, “I…” Eren felt bad for him and he was tired of Levi’s feelings being overlooked, “Jean, yes he would! Levi just wants a family and he wants them near.” Maxim’s gut clenched hearing the words. He felt suddenly so small, “Ilya, I…” Levi turned and Maxim shut his mouth, “We can talk about it later. Let’s get the roof up. Our shitty luck is it’d rain.” They all finished their part and Eren and Armin laid the wood out for the loft to be assembled later after the wiring and insilation. David thought the day had been a success if a little rough.

*****************

Maxim played with is rosary when he heard Levi coming down the hallway, “Let’s talk.” He pushed off the wall and Levi paused. He’d wanted to take a shower but it could wait though he hated the thought of standing in filth, “About?” “Family.” “Speak.” “Is it true?” “Be specific.” “Do you really crave family and that’s why you have so many people living in this house?” Levi blinked, “Yes.” “What happened to your family?” “My mother was beaten to death by my stepfather. Her first husband was sterile and never loved me. I am the product of a one night stand. I am a mamzer. My alcoholic uncle raised me from 10 to17, but not really. He couldn’t parent and didn’t know how to relate to a kid. He left me on my own from 13 on and I ran a gang and did horrible things to survive.” “Like?” “Theft, murder, personal prostitution. He died of liver cancer…. But, I loved him because he did the best he could with the way he was. He never tried to be _dad._ He just tried to teach me how to survive.” Levi was quick emotionless, “Then I was kidnapped for eight months and lived in a tiny ass cell with Erwin after working with him in the marines for almost three years. I survived that. That’s for another day.”

Maxim knew the word mamzer and all that went with it, “David’s father?” “Yes.” “His name?” “Saul Lavie.” “He’s a man with iron teeth. He was famous among us.” “Why?” “Because he left to marry and live away from the tribes and moved his tribe with him. He chose to help strengthen other communities in need and that was brave. I didn’t know him of course. I’ll tell you more another day.” “Your family?” “Dead. Armin’s father killed my father, my mother was shot by him too probably. My sisters were…humiliated, raped, shot and left naked in the snow.” “Where did your eyes come from?” “God, he creates all. But…my oldest sister had it too but not as striking as mine. Her’s were blue and one eye had a lot of dark brown coloring. It was like…the cosmos. Beauiful.” “What was her name?” Maxim paused, the air left his lungs and his mouth went dry, “Leah.” Levi’s bottom lip trembled and they remained silent as the heavy weight covered them like white cotton linens.

Maxim was the first to crack under the pressure. He turned and walked back to his room and Levi was thankful he moved first. He hurried to his room, Donner whined when he walked into the bathroom. He’d been sitting outside of the shower where Eren was watching over his owner’s mate. Levi walked into the shower, clothes becoming heavy with the water and wrapped his arms around Eren who turned around at the feeling of Levi’s grasping at his arms as he slid down to his knees sobbing ugily, open mouthed, and wheezing. Eren’s hands cupped his face, “Levi, shushhh,” Eren fell down, wiping his tears away in the water and held him to him, rocking him back and forth while Levi clutched at him like child.

Maxim found Ilya on the bed, unwashed, relaxing. He didn’t care how weak it was, how wrong it felt, how childish it was. He walked over to him, “Will you hold me like when we were children?” His face was pink and Ilya leaned up, look of concern clearly written all over it, “Yes,” was his answer, always yes. He took Maxim into his embrace and they climbed into the bed where he rubbed his best friend’s back and let him sob into his pillow. 

Maxim’s OCD counting of the beads made him feel such sadness but the prayer stuck on his lips in manic repetition was what truly panicked him. Ilya knew he wanted to stop but when he got too out of control the ticks took. Ilya hoped he’d at least get him to calm down long enough to breathe and stop verbally praying. He did eventually stop and Ilya drew a warm bath that he had him lay in while Ilya took a shower. Then he came to the side of the tub and washed his hair. He inspected his cut and tried to repress the rage that lurked inside of him. After drying Maxim off, Ilya read pages from _The Merchant of Venice_ while Maxim laid in one of his large sleeper shirts on his chest like they had as very young children. Ilya thought about Maxim’s laugh before they were 15 and Maxim thought about Leah and way her eyes had looked and stayed open even in death.


	115. Meat

Ilya stroked Maxim's hair as he laid on his chest. He had made himself a place there like when they were thirteen and when they were ten covered with his sister’s shawls. He dozed in and out of consciousness when Marco and Jean came inside. Ilya knew what was to come but he still found it ridiculous that someone would worry about having a moment of weakness. Maxim immediately shrugged him off and moved away before Jean spoke, "So, today was interesting. Want to get food?" Ilya smiled as a thought entered his head, he was used to Maxim’s attempts at maintaining his badass-ness but he’d see if the others could see through it too, “How about that café?” Jean and Marco smiled, “That’s not much of a date, Ilya.” Maxim’s scowl was legendary as he quickly put two and two together. Ilya sent a text to Sasha, “Where we come from, dating is with the input of the village.” Ilya said the words with much mirth as Maxim rolled his eyes. He wasn’t sure why Ilya would include her after the day they had. He did have a wound, after all. Marco gave him amused look.

Marco pursed his lips thinking to himself, “That’s a lot of pressure.” Maxim rolled his eyes again, “Yes, it is. We don’t sleep with anyone in the village. Everyone would know if we did and it would be gossip in bars. It could hurt reputations.” He shrugged and it was hilarious to Ilya because reputation was everything to Maxim, “We have to go to the city to meet…girls….or on jobs.” Jean blinked, “Wow, sounds like where I’m from. Except, I dated my friends so…everyone knew.” Ilya stood up to stretch, “Mikasa, right?” That was news to Maxim and he found that extremely interesting. What had the calm and controlled Mikasa seen in Jean? What was the real Jean like? Ilya had been very taken with him but that wasn’t always an easy indicator of _why_ Ilya was taken with them. He wasn’t this easy going non-threatening handsome, had he really just called him handsome my God he sounded like his babushka, guy that he appeared to be on the surface, “And Eren.” Maxim was even more surprised and now was perplexed, “The husband of Levi?” Jean nodded, “Yep and then, well Armin and I kind of just had…” “Sex” Marco supplied for him readily, face emotionless, “Crazy animal circus sex.” Jean’s face was pink and he rubbed the back of his neck looking out the side of his eye at Marco, “Yeah, so, enough about that let’s go get something to eat y’all.”

****************

Sasha and Ilya sat next to one another playfully flirting while Marco tried to get to know Maxim better. Maxim had sat next to Ilya and was being left out of it all, barely touching his food as Armin sometimes did. It was interesting, Armin cared a lot about food and his _hangry_ triads were legend, second only to Eren’s, but they both appeared to use food in unhealthy ways. Ilya’s lack of attention, no that’s not it, it was probably his deviation of normal behavior, was probably the root cause. Jean, however, was shoveling food in his mouth and was silently watching what was going on with the Romanian speaking love birds to report back to Eren and Erwin because they all liked to gossip and Marco would also need filling in. Jean was just a fill in gossip for Marco and they knew it. 

Marco took his chance offering Maxim a piece of the chocolate cake he’d gotten for dessert. Maxim looked at his and then gladly took some, “Maxim, if you ever want to go to church with me then just tell me and we can go together. Jean sometimes doesn’t come with me because of work but I go almost every week to at least one mass or you know, the catholic guilt gets to be too much.” Maxim’s eye widened, hopeful, “Are you orthodox?” Marco shook his head sadly, “No, sorry. It’s Roman Catholic.” His heart sunk. “Oh, that’s too bad. But…I guess it is a….good alternative…but prayers will be…are…different.” Marco reached across the table laying his hand on his arm, Maxim jerked but didn’t pull away, “I know, but I can ask around if there are other orthodox worshipers and maybe we can find a place nearby? I’m sure you can’t be the only one.” Maxim blinked, face made of stone, he was extremely moved that Marco was offering to do such, “Why would you even do that?” It came out harsher than he wanted but Marco just kept smiling, “Because you’ve had a hard time. I just want you to feel like you have a place to go and feel better when things get a little crazy because they will get crazy. We’re all very open here about our feelings but some are much more private and maybe since I think you’re one of those types you might want to go to Church and let it out.”

Maxim took a sip of his tea, “This tea…it’s sweet.” _You are the sweetest of all._ He didn’t know what to say other than that or fuck off because he’d never been able to let his walls down quickly. Marco, took a sip himself, his eyes warm but they were quickly summing Maxim up. He had another Levi on his hands and that was okay because Marco was a Levi whisperer and no one knew so he’d be the secret Maxim whisperer too, “The tea is very sweet. It’s how we drink it here.” He smiled and Maxim thought there couldn’t exist a nicer person in the world.

When they were ready to leave, Ilya and Sasha broke away. Ilya smiled cheekily as he waved at Maxim, “Maxi, I’ll see you later. Call me if you need me.” Maxim nodded, look of deguts on his face, and Jean and Marco exchanged glances as Sasha led Ilya to her car with a few giggles and a bright smile. Ilya pulled at her ponytail playfully and his hand fell to her hip as she opened the door. “Well, that was a little unexpected.” Marco mumbled and Jean snorted, “Not really. She’s been more interested in him than food lately.” Marco gasped, “THAT’S ALMOST UNTHINKABLE!” Jean smirked, “Poor Connie.” 

“Who is this…Connie?” Maxim was in the back, sneer on his face and in his words as they’d come to expect only from Levi, “Connie is our friend and he and Sasha are inseparable. They’ve confused us lately, we didn’t know if they were just friends or if they are dating. Apparently, they are just friends if Sasha is trying to date Ilya.” Maxim didn’t say anything but the sneer remained until they got home and he went off with a black storm cloud hanging over him, but quickly he returned and only after thanking them for the dinner and conversation did he slam his bedroom door. Jean and Marco considered that a win.

“I feel sad for Maxim.” Marco mumbled when they got back into their room. Jean sat in his bean bag chair and motioned for Marco to join him, “Babe, we just gotta see how it all plays out.” “But, you know we’re thinking the same thing.” “Yeah, but you can’t force stuff like that and you know what?” “What?” “I think it’s about to come to a head, Marco. Like, they’re about to have a showdown that’s been in the making for three years. That’s how long they not lived together and Ilya says that Maxim was the one that started putting space between then and made them agree not to see each other every day in the village. Which is so mean because they’re best friends. That would be like me telling Eren and Armin that we couldn’t see each other every day. Bitches gunna drag one another.” “Jean, God, like today? That kind of dragging? I can’t survive that.” “Yeah, fuck. When Levi walked up to Zad it was like….I swear I head someone in the background say “WELCOME TO THE TERRADOME!” And then it was nothing but bloodshed on the tiny house octagon floor.”

Marco was in stitches he was laughing so hard, “Jean, oh my god, that’s fucking hilarious. I was just like, well we’ve had knives drawn, two wolves throw-downs, and now an angry ex-marine Jew who is about to go Jewish ghetto-hood on this redheaded Russian ex-general.” “General?” “YEAH, I KNOW SO MUCH INFORMATION AFTER WRITING A CHAPTER WITH HIM!” Jean pulled Marco into a lip bruising kiss, “I’m going to work on why I’m afraid, I promise babe.” Marco’s lips were still grazing his, breathing heavy, “I won’t keep pushing. It’s wrong of me.” “Someone had to push or I’d never work it out. Don’t apologize. I was being hot headed.” Jean moved forward kissing him more and when they pulled back, Marco’s eyes were open, glassy, lips swollen, “You? Never.” He grinned and Jean chuckled. He held Marco for the next few minutes before moving them to the bed where he gave him the best lazy love making he could after all day tiny house building.

****************

It was the night before they were all leaving to head to the lake house to celebrate Erwin’s birthday. Armin and Hanji planed it all and Mikasa was heading over to her apartment where Sasha was wafting for a little girl time. Armin and Erwin had been in a honeymoon phase it seemed. Erwin kept sending him flowers but Mikasa came over one night for a late dinner and he noticed that Erwin was off and Armin was just giving him space, time, and love. Now, she was interested in how they would be at the lake and how they would react to their news. David said he needed to head to Atlanta for work and he’d called Sasha himself asking if she would be up for a girl’s day. Mikasa loved that David knew she’d missed her and missed doing things like that. He also trusted Sasha and since Mikasa had been so ill lately he felt better knowing someone with razor sharp senses would be around.

Mikasa opened the door and Sasha was already sitting in the living room, pillows and blankets ready with food and trash TV, “Miki, let’s get some nail polish on those toes.” Mikasa laughed, “Please.” She sat her things down by the door. Then after walking over, she sat with her back braced in one of her future nursing pillows, “You’re getting so big and it’s not even January yet.” Sasha said admiring her stomach, “I mean, I know that you’re only six months along,” “That’s pretty far,” “but I don’t know how you’re this big. But, I guess it’s because you’re so small.” Mikasa smiled, “I look like you after you entered the speed eating contest.” “OMG YOU DO!”

Sasha and Mikasa fell into a comfortable old routine with long periods of silence. They were comfortable around one another and had always been. Sasha didn’t get involved in petty things and she was a strong independent woman who knew herself and despite outside pressures always kept her focus on what she wants and who she wants to be. Her family was odd, a little backwards and she was embarrassed of them, though she was working on it and no one really knew that. Mikasa only knew because she’d tried to bring her school work once after Sasha had a bad case of the flu. She’d met her father and quickly understood why Sasha could be less than willing for her to come back. She hated her accent, was ashamed of it and people pointed it out to her often that the way she spoke was either too haughty or somehow fake. She was a sensitive person who liked simple things, a great archeress, a great cook, a great friend. “Sasha, what’s going on with you and Ilya?” Mikasa bit her lip waiting for a reply.

Sasha’s eyebrow raised and she smirked, “Some of the best sex of my life.” Mikasa had not expected that at all from the normally asexual bestie from her hometown, “Wow. Um…woooooow.” Sasha laughed, “I know, that was blunt but man when it’s this good you gotta tell people. He’s so nice, so funny, he makes me smile till it hurts and sometimes he just…ughh he just grabs me up in this tender way and I just know that he’s about to blow my mind. I love it.” That was a lot of good information for Mikasa, “So you two are boyfriend and girlfriend?” 

Sasha rolled on her stomach, “Naw, I wouldn’t say that at all. I mean, right now we’re just having fun and he’s only having fun with me to my knowledge and I’m only having fun with him but…. I don’t think it’s going to become serious by any means.” Mikasa was now very intrigued, “Interesting. What’s with Connie? What does he think and feel about it?” Sasha bit her lip thinking, “I’m not being a very good person right now, try not to judge.”

Mikasa nodded but that really took her by surprise, “Okay, so you all look at me and Connie and I get it, you have no idea what’s going on. Well, I was okay with that when we were in high school and that was cool when we were freshmen in college, but now, even I’m like what the actual fuck Connie do you like me or not?!” Mikasa’s face was a controlled mask as she continued to listen but she very much agree that they all wanted to know what was going on with them, “Connie is my best friend outside of you. I mean, he gets me like no other. But, he kind of keeps me in this weird place between best friend slash sister and wife. I feel like an old married woman and I have none of the perks. We’re in business together, we are always working together in school and in other areas of potential work, and then we’re always each other’s plus ones and sometimes Mikasa it just pisses me off. We crossed the lines a few times with our hands and we’ve had a few make outs while drunk that we each don’t talk about or remember till way too late. Connie never makes moves on me when I offer the chance and I started to think, well, maybe he’s gay?”

Mikasa cut in, “I don’t think he’s gay.” “Nope, he has so much food porn on his computer, let me tell you, and it’s all about women. Not one gay themed, threesome, shemale, nothing! He’s straight so then I was like, well it’s me. I’m not attractive enough or not what he wants. I’m friendzoned. Oh, well, that hurts, because somewhere I developed feelings for Connie, real feelings. I know I can’t make him like me like that or some dumb shit kids think when they have a crush. He either does or doesn’t. But, then I thought, well, let me test what I can for a little while longer.” 

Mikasa nodding along, “What did you do?” “Well, I started going on dates. Remember Thomas from High School?” “Yeah.” “I started dating him and it kind of got an extreme response from Connie. It also finally freed me sexually. I’d been hoping to sleep with Connie but he’s been with a few girls when we were in high school so I mean…it wouldn’t have been his first time.” Mikasa’s smiled a little, eyes affectionate, “Still, it would have been special for you.” Sasha nodded, “Yeah. But, then I found out that Thomas destroyed my experiment because he was asked by Connie if we were serious and he said no it was just a fling.” “Rude.” “I know.”

“So, after that I never got the response from him again because he knew it wasn’t going to be a permanent thing and honestly, I would have preferred more tact from Thomas so I didn’t want to make it work after that. Now, with this thing with Ilya, he’s fucking acting like a mad man. It’s way over the top and more than he was with Thomas. He’s suddenly very interested in what I’m doing and with whom,” “Mmmmmm” “And then he’s really pushing for us to move in together like we had discussed but I’ve been deferring it because I don’t want to live with someone I’m in love with who doesn’t love me back,” “Mmmhmmmm” 

“And then there’s the fact that he honestly forgets how to act around me when Ilya is there. He just freezes. Now, I mean, it doesn’t really mean anything until we have a talk but he’s got to make the first move. I have over the course of two years presented him with all the opportunities and all the openings and he’s never taken them. I’ve started the uncomfortable conversations and they’ve gone nowhere. If he wants me like that then he has to put himself out there. So far, he’s just content to not do anything and let me continue to be his wife until my youth is gone. That Connie, if that’s what he is doing for real and hoping for, that Connie isn’t the Connie I love and I will need to move on. It’s….there’s more to it but that’s the just. I don’t want to go into too many details about what we’ve said and blah blah blah, but I’m definitely having my cake and eating it too after denying myself from even cutting a piece for so long. Ilya’s one fine ass piece of cake.”

Mikasa nodded, face impressed, small smirk in the corner, “I am very impressed by this liberation you’ve accomplished. So, does Ilya know any of this?” “Yeah, I was straight up with him. He’s known since the beginning.” “Really?” “Yeah, he’s the coolest person alive. I mean, he’s so….damn. I think anyone could fall in love with Ilya Nabatov. You should see him naked, I mean, you think he’s thin so he’s not fucking built but damn!” She smiled cheekily and Mikasa did too, “Must be some good sex to have you so enthused and enraptured. Is he better than food?” “Actually, Ilya Nabatov is better than any potato from Idaho.” Mikasa made an “Oooooohhhhhh” exclamation as Sasha rolled on the floor laughing and smiling, “I mean, I think you get some of your own great sex so you know how it goes.” Mikasa smiled wider, “Definitely not complaining about David, no. He’s really into me pregnant and I’m always so…well, I’ve never been taken care of like he takes care of me. He feels like coming home, he’s so…” Sasha smiled brighter, “He’s a good husband and he’s your partner. He actually treats you like a jewel. You know, I was high one night and googling shit and I read that at one point in the Muhammaden age, Jewish men were forbidden to marry gentile women and it was because gentile women knew that Jewish men treated their wives really well and they wanted to prevent them from converting to Judaism and basically becoming happy.” 

Mikasa smiled letting her head roll to the side, “Are you coming to the lake?” Sasha was putting Pringles in her mouth, “Just for tomorrow since it’s Erwin’s actual birthday. Connie and I have an event this weekend in Birmingham so we’ll leave from the lake house Saturday morning and be gone till Tuesday night.” Mikasa raised her eyebrows, “That’s going to be interesting.” “Very. I kind of hope Ilya can get away with me for a while and help me with my grand plans.” Mikasa snorted “You’ve become addicted to the D.” “I know.”

They ate dinner, talked more, and then fell asleep. Mikasa was hopeful it would work out for Sasha because Connie really did need her and he’d never been that open about it.

***************

The next morning Mikasa was in a frit trying to do everything herself with David gone. He’d be getting there any moment but she couldn’t wait. She needed to have everything packed and Sasha was helping her and preparing to take it down to the car. Mikasa traded in her Nissan Z for a more practical white BMW X6. David liked German cars and she did too. Also, with one child this would be perfect. She heard a knock on the door and knowing David might be there with his hands full made her walk up and open the door without a second thought.

There was a moment of hot white terror, sickness, and extreme pins and needles cold that washed over her as she stood with the door wide open in her pjs looking at Annie. She seemed ashamed to be there and even more wounded by her reaction to her. Mikasa didn’t know what to do or say and she was pretty sure she could hear Erwin in the back of her head screaming something about restraining order. 

“Mikasa,” Annie sounded absolutely floored, “Why are you here?” Mikasa shakily answered, “I l-live here.” Annie looked ever more confused, “I’m looking for David Lavie.” “That’s my husband.” “You’re married?” “Yes…I am.” “And…pregnant…oh God. Listen,” her voice was serious, urgent, “I’m sorry, I know you hate me and you deserve to after what I did to you. I wasn’t well. I was on drugs. I have been in rehab. I was overcome by my own personal jealousy and a lot of other things I never talked about, I’m sorry. But, I’m here to try and do something good.” Mikasa’s hand shook on the door, “Okay…”

Annie looked down and her eyes widened, “I wanted you to help me help Levi.” “Levi?” “Yes, he needs to take care of his child. He needs to protect it because there are people looking for it.” “Why would you help him?” Annie started to cry but she silenced the tears, she pulled herself together, she had to do this, “He deserves a break.” She wiped her face and then looked back down, “Mikasa, I just…there are bad people waiting for you all to become vulnerable and they are going to hurt your children. But, Levi’s is the one they know about. I can’t tell you anything else. Tell David what I’ve told you … I’m sorry but I have to go now.” She turned to leave and Mikasa reached out trying to grab her back in, “WHY?!” 

Annie was gone and Sasha at her side. “Was that Annie? Mikasa, are you alright?” Sasha was ready to fight, gun at her side. Sasha was always touting her concealed weapon and was a strong believer in gun rights. Probably another reason David picked her. Mikasa wanted David to be home, for them to leave the country, and for Levi, Eren, Erwin, and Armin to be warned and protected. She also wanted to know why in the hell Annie Leonhardt would be telling David Lavie anything.

**************

Erwin had packed the car. It had taken a while to get the windshield on his car fixed but now they were presented with the fact that Armin didn't have a vehicle anymore. Erwin doubted the friendly cult would be coming back to hand it over and leave peacefully. Plus, Armin had loved the car but the idea that his opa paid for it with Reiss money had made him resent even if he’d never said such to Erwin’s face he could just tell. So, he made a decision at the behest, more like nagging, of Armin and appealed to reason. Since they would be having kids, practical vehicles were a must. Armin also threatened to wound him if he didn’t get him a new car soon. 

Erwin traded his car in for a new Mercedes GLS that could seat seven. It was supposed to be his signature white but he'd settle for the chrome they had in stock. He decided to spoil Armin, maybe also stack the deck in his favor for the next time he pissed Armin off, and got him a Mercedes convertible roadster, E class cabriolet in black. Armin had loved it but gently chided that it was only a four seater. Apparently, Armin was preparing for a littler of kids and that was fine with Erwin. They would take Erwin’s car to the lake while Armin's was detailed and customized. Armin was fine with being spoiled but he also had other plans. 

When it was time to leave, Armin snatched the keys from his hands and kissed him, "Erwin, you're riding with Levi. Don't worry, I know the way and Maxim and Ilya are riding with us." Erwin’s face was pouty, "Us?" Armin grinned, baby voice softening the blow for Erwin, God he was a sick man but he didn’t want to be well, "Me and Eren. Jean and Marco are already on their way to set things up and everyone else knows how to get there." Erwin knew not to argue, "Why baby?" Armin pressed his lips together and then made a popping noise like a tiny fist. Erwin was delighted for what was to come, "Because you and Levi need to bond. Love youuuuu." He stood up on his tip toes throwing his arm around his neck, "Erwin, really, I love you more that words and I don’t tell you enough."

Erwin was touched by how he’d carefully and bluntly tried to help him and love him. He had been a little distant these two weeks after hearing what Levi had said. In truth, he'd been avoiding Levi because of his conflicting feelings on the matter. He tried to send Armin flowers and marked their anniversaries of meeting and dating with candy and cards. Armin hadn’t pushed him about anything. Instead, Armin had tried to speak with Maxim more, work on his own problems, and keep the peace when others broke into disputes. It seemed that Eren and Armin had truly put a lot of thought into make everyone work out their differences.

They had all progressed well with the tiny house and now only needed to finish the inside. They'd all become closer and some things were already working themselves out. David worried if his child was too free spirited, hard headed, or just the overall opposite of he and Mikasa that he'd snap. He worried he'd fall into he way the rabbis had done with him after Levi left. David was cool, calm, collected but after the death of Levi's mother and his subsequent departure a wild streak in him had been revealed. He was told that he was more Ishmael than Isaac, an ass that the world would always have its hand up against. 

He worried that he would always have a low grade annoyance with his child and Eren and Levi had been the ones who worked at setting his mind to ease the most. "Achki, you know that you're child will not be that way and even if they are that is something you would be able to work through especially with Mikasa’s help. You're child may be spirited but that is a good thing. It will love you and you will love it. HaShem will make it work." Eren had offered more sage and practical advice, "David, if Mikasa was able to tolerate me, because basically you’re describing my childhood as your worst scenario, thanks for the glimpse into what you think of me, it hit me in the feels, then she's going to have it under control and you need only follow her lead. Soon, you'll be saving your block head suicidal manic from all sorts of mayhem in love." Eren's smile was huge and David laughed. 

Erwin snapped out of the memory and lifted Armin into his arms, "Why are you so good to me, baby?" Armin stroked his face lovingly; face sweet and sincere, "Because you're too good to me. I have never known love like yours. Plus, I want us all to be good and you and Levi are important in that plan. God, Erwin, we're going to have a child in February. I can't wait to see you with our child."

“God, we’re having a child and the nursery isn’t finished and we don’t have a name and we don’t know the sex and we don’t know anything and I have no idea what to do about anything.” Armin laughed, “I know but I can’t wait to hold it and love it. I hope if it’s a boy it looks like you and if it’s a girl looks like me.” Erwin snorted, “Because you already make a beautiful woman I agree with this but a little boy as sweet as you would be a blessing to raise and see where his mind took him.” Armin blushed, “We’re getting in way over our heads, right?” “Definitely.”

******

David got to the apartment and that was all Mikasa needed to happen, “I’m not doing well. The car is almost completely packed. Sasha is leaving when we leave.” David looked unusually flustered, “Sick?” “Tired.” “Oh okay, well, I just need to use the bathroom and I’ll take these things left down to the car. Go sit in the cool air.” He smiled, leaning to kiss her cheek. Mikasa went down stairs with a heavy heart. She called Eren, “Eren?”

******

The drive to the lake was pleasant but Mikasa’s heart hurt. “David?” She couldn’t live like this anymore. He grinned, “Yes, mami?” Mikasa’s face wasn’t controlled, it was open and readable, “Mikasa, HaShem, what has happened?” David started to pull over on the side of the road but she waived him to keep going, “How do you know Annie Leonhardt?” David’s face was a mask of control, “What happened, Mikasa?” She was angry he wasn’t explaining, ‘I really think you should do the talking.” He kept his eyes on the road, “I’d rather not.”

******

Armin got off the phone with Erwin and Eren was still silently crying when he looked over. They decided to speak in Turkish, one of the few languages the two in the back didn’t know but something told Armin that they were smart enough to figure things out so they tried to steer clear of cognates. “Calm down. It’s going to be okay.” Eren wiped his face more. Armin pouted, “You’re going to rub your face raw.” “I feel possibly betrayed.” “I know.” “What if he’s a bad person, Armin?” “I know.” “He could be giving information to them and that’s what you think too!” “I know.” 

Armin was pulling onto the road that led them up and to the driveway of the lake house. It wasn’t far by car but it was a good mile to and from the house and the opening of the road. Eren slammed his hand into the dash in front of him and then into the door. Armin’s head whipped to the side and Eren’s legs were kicking now and then _poof_ the passenger airbag opened and Armin stopped the car, “Eren!” Eren opened his door falling out.

He slammed the door and walked around to the driver’s window, “You know, you _KNOW_. You fucking know everything. You and Erwin just fucking have it all figured out, you’re both so fucking smart. You know that I’m dealing with a pregnant sister and husband and you fucking _know._ ” Eren pushed away from the car and Armin lost his cool as he walked further away, “WHERE ARE YOU GOING? EREN! EREN!” Armin almost opened the door when he turned around, “I’M WALKING!” He started on the way and Armin sagged in his seat and the car was silent.

Armin had forgotten all about Maxim and Ilya until a sudden _pop_ from a puncture brought his attention to a now defaulting airbag. Ilya had leaned forward cutting a small hole, “We go now, da?” Ilya smiled and Armin blinked in response. Maxim cleared his throat, “That is his way of…making things better. Please, let us go now.” Armin started the car back up and looked over at the air bag, deflated; just like his ego. _I know._

******

Levi and Erwin were playing a game of “guess the secret.” Levi didn’t want to resort to seduction but, “You’re looking more handsome lately.” Erwin didn’t say anything and Levi sighed internally, “I think I should start letting you lead more. Maybe, you could take over more and run things on my end, too? You’ve got natural talent when it comes to things like that and I’ve never been a leader.” Erwin’s face faltered just a second and it was smug but then tragic and then emotionless again, “Lee, tell me about,” “No. I don’t want to talk about it. I haven’t told Eren.” 

Erwin chewed the inside of his cheek, “But,….do you really think that my father was a bad father?” Levi’s skin prickled, “It doesn’t matter what I think about your father. All that matters is what you think. My opinion shouldn’t matter.” “But, it does, Levi. It really does.” “Then stop letting it and don’t be weak.” Erwin sighed, “I want to fix this.” “Nothing’s broken.” “Yes, we’re broken right now. I had no idea you felt the way you did and it’s affecting me. I love you. How could I have not known you felt this way? You never told me about Williamsburg and I let it go because of what you said about David but...” he paused closing his eyes, “You know, Armin reminded me today we’re having a child and you’re having one too. I want us to be good and I want our kids to be good.” “They’re going to be fine. They’ll know each other like brothers and sisters.” “But, what if something changes with us and it hurts us?” 

The thought made Levi internally sick, “I don’t think he was a good father and I think he abused you but in such ways that it was like black tar, poison that slowly crept through your veins and over you as you grew. I think he was a man tortured by his own insignificance in the face of a boy who clearly was, even as young as you were, better than him. You would be the Smith they remembered at the university. He would fade, but Erwin Smith would always remain. That’s how I see it. That’s how I think of you.” 

Erwin grimaced, “I never thought it was all that weird the things he did.” “Then you are blind willfully.” Levi didn’t speak further and they pulled onto the side road. Erwin reached over and took Levi’s hand, “Talk to me.” Levi stared ahead, “Brat…” he said it out of the blue and Erwin was caught off guard, “Brat?” Levi’s eye widened and he hit the dash with his hand, “Brat, STOP!” He did so and Levi rolled his window down, “Eren! Why are you walking?” Eren’s form tightened and his shoulder were raised, the tension in between his shoulder blades was clear. He didn’t want Levi to know what had happened. “I wanted to walk.” Levi kept staring, “Get inside, now.” There wasn’t any room to argue and Eren came and got in the back seat. Erwin started up the hill and the car was tense as they road up to the house. Erwin figured it out by the time he saw Armin standing by the passenger side of the car.

When they stepped out Levi’s eyes narrowed and he walked over to Armin, “What are standing around there for?” Donner was nuzzling at Armin. He looked inside, face blank and then he walked back over to his car to get his luggage. Eren got his things from Armin’s and headed inside without a word. Erwin stood looking down at the dents in the door and the deflated airbag, “Ilya cut it. I say we cut it all out and close it up like it never happened.” Erwin sighed, “Good idea. If we can’t see it, it’s not there, right?” Armin looked up and grinned, “Yeah.”

***************

Armin and Hanji had everything easily set up and Jean and Marco had gotten their early enough to do it. There were gift bags, personalized snack bags, food was already prepared and ready to cook, and then there were the Tshirts commemorating the weekend. “Erwinapalooza” read on the shirt pocket with tiny wings of freedom that suspiciously looked like miniature recreations of his eyebrows. The backs had nicknames. Erwin’s read “commander handsome,” Levi’s “Captain Clean,” Hanji’s “Mad Scientist,” Mike’s “Monsieur Aroma Bagetto,” Armin’s “Behind Blue Eyes,” Eren’s “Suicidal Maniac,” Jean’s “Horse Face,” Marco’s “Freckled Jesus,” Connie’s “Majestic Bald Eagle,” and Sasha’s “Potato Princess.” David’s was just his middle name, “Baatar,” because Armin liked it and thought it was badass. Mikasa’s read “Eren’s mom” and Jean found it hilarious. They still weren’t all there but they all wanted to see their shirts.

Maxim and Ilya sat on the couch looking around at the house and all of its splendor. They liked the communal feeling that they group had. Nothing seemed wasted. Levi bumped into Hanji and Maxim watched closely, “Where is Mila and where are their shirts?” He nicked his head over to them and Hanji smiled, “Mila is asleep and they have their pick.” Hanji walked over to them, “Hey guys, I’m Hanji. So, Armin and I decided to have plain ones made with just your names on them if you didn’t like the nickname ones.” Ilya smiled, “What are the nicknames?” Maxim leaned forward, “Yes, show us.”

Hanji motioned Armin over who had one shirt and they the other. They did a small dance and sang some sort of old black and white movie intro music before turning them around. Maxim’s read “Mafioso Chernyy” (Black Mafioso) and Ilya’s read “Pac Man.” Jean and Ilya played pac-man every day since they first hung out. In fact, even while tired from working on the tiny house they made time to play at lunch. Armin had been going everyday to his store for a few hours and took his lunch with him while Erwin worked on finishing his master’s course and ultimately finalizing his thesis that he’d need to defend in December in the office. Armin was excited about him starting his Ph.D program because they were still working on the plan of Erwin becoming head of the University or at least vice president by 30. He was already on the board of advisors and was up for a few notable awards this year. Word of their marriage and future child made them favorites at the various functions they were obligated to go to to wine and dine. Zackley was a strange man but he loved Erwin and really wanted to leave it to him. President would be a good flexible job with set office hours and a lot of work from home.

Armin smiled as Maxim greedily took his shirt. He smiled, a rare full one and then he moved forward like a young child, and hugged Armin. Erwin smiled at the sight. This was a rare moment where both were happy with one another and were not as guarded. Ilya joined in and then the moment passed and Maxim was scowling. Erwin smirked at how Levi-esque that was but that reminded him they were still not okay. Armin turned to Erwin, “What do you want to do, daddy? Cook now or wait?” Erwin thought about it, “I want to open a beer, sit around the[fire pit](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/92/54/53/9254539922eae8b7e456594f62538d6b.jpg), and wait to start the grill.” Mike laughed, “I’m going to flirt with my unoccupied fiancé.”

Levi grabbed at Eren, “Erwin, Eren and I are going to our room. Eren has to shit.” Erwin blinked and Armin stared, “Then what are you going to do?” Levi raised an eyebrow, ‘Watch.” Armin started to giggle, “Hmm well, we’ll leave y’all to it.” Eren was drug to the room with Ilya and Maxim watching. After they disappeared Armin kissed Erwin’s cheek, “We have more fun stuff for later that’s of a more private nature.” Erwin hummed, “You are so good to me.” They walked to their [room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/97/50/f1/9750f1d09a9f97bf7218004c808b4c79.jpg) and put their stuff down, Erwin peeking at the special things Armin had set to the side for them before Armin asked for a piggy back ride. He walked outside and down to the pit where Armin moved around and sat in his lap and they drank cold coronas with lime until it was time to start the grill.

******

Mikasa stood by the side of the car door, “Please don’t say anything, mami. It’s complicated and right now I need things to stay between us to ensure it all works out.” Mikasa looked down at her feet, “I already called Eren.” David stopped unpacking the car and sighed, “Oh no. He’s so protective. He may act out, may try to kill me. I have no idea how to control this and it upsets me.” “Why them?” “Because…it started when I found out he was related to the man who was Levi’s commander in Baidschi. Braun, that name stuck with me. I am…my brother’s keeper, Mikasa. You are yours.” She felt badly and she hadn’t even gotten the full story, “Mikasa, I had the choice of letting him die and being done with it but I didn’t. I have had two chances to let my brother die and help myself but I have not.” She wanted to go inside, “Let’s go inside David.”

David took her hand, “Do you not trust me?” He looked wounded and she shook her head, “I trust you, David. I’m sorry that I didn’t at first. I was scared. Annie showing up at the house was too eerily after all the betrayals we’ve had.” David frowned, “I understand.” She rubbed her stomach, “Mmm why is nothing ever simple? We’re having a child and nothing is simple. I just want simple. You told me you were a simple man, David Lavie. You told me you were going to be boring.” He managed a smile, “I love you.”

********

Levi started to unpack their bags and put their things into the drawers of the [room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/90/9c/42/909c427807754bd4f5af979abafda9c6.jpg). They were in what was Armin and Eren’s room, the room where Levi had given him a blowjob and they had gotten much closer, “Eren,” Levi’s voice was just as heavy as it had been that day, “Let’s take a trip down memory lane.” Eren’s cheeks flushed as Levi peeled off his clothes and let Donner outside like he had in the past. He walked up to a blushing, flustered Eren. He averted his eyes, “Shy, brat?” He clicked his tongue against the front of his teeth a few time in mock disappointment, “I guess you’re still an inexperienced kid.” 

Eren looked up, “I’m not…you’re just really hot.” Levi smirked and pushed Eren against the bed, lips against his cheek, “Hands on the bed, cadet.”

********

When Sasha and Connie arrived Hanji directed them to their [room.](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/90/84/f2/9084f2d79e4a308f0a6e21d1cc9178fd.jpg) Sasha wasn’t that happy that they were sharing since Ilya was there but she also knew it was just for a night and there was a limited number of rooms. Sasha and Connie were now cooking in the [kitchen](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/39/66/4d/39664d9ac81774baa9c590ab8e898694.jpg) when Mikasa appeared after she and David went to their own [room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/9b/49/27/9b4927f3d0f884eb0c6f91ae1aa85e8f.jpg) to put their things, “Sasha, can I have some mint in my water?” “Yeah, wow. How did Eren know that mint would make you feel better?” She smiled and Ilya walked into the kitchen, “Sasha, you look like a dream.” He popped one of her desserts in his mouth smiling, “Whatever you touch, I eat it and smile.” He kissed her on the lips in a very loving and fun way and Connie frowned. Mikasa noticed and sucked the water through a straw while David went to find Erwin and Armin. 

Armin was waking up from a small cat nap, “Michael is a no.” Armin said sleepily as Erwin rocked them in the glider, “George?” “Nope, Georg is okay.” “Abigail?” “I fucking hate that name, Erwin.” Erwin chuckled, “Abby? Come on.” Armin wrinkled his nose, “No, fuck that. What about Rivka?” Erwin smiled, “I like that. Add it to the possible list. Hebrew?” “Why not? We’re Jewish.” David sat down and Erwin and Armin went silent.

David rocked in his chair and Armin and Erwin offered him a beer and the game began. 

******* 

Hanji’s [room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/48/63/82/486382014345da3c531fe02fdf327f85.jpg) was next to Maxim and Ilya’s [room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/0a/00/b4/0a00b48aa73333da70d6231b42b3212c.jpg) and they found them both to be beyond beautiful. They walked to Marco and Jean’s [room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/b2/6e/3d/b26e3dd9ce0eff7d41cbf405850508f9.jpg) staring more. They were touring the house slowly, looking at the photos on the wall and softly brushing up against one another. Sasha had been making eyes at Ilya and Maxim was surprised he wasn’t in the kitchen flirting. “Why are you looking with me?” Maxim had to ask. Ilya took his hand, “Because we’re both not used to this and pretending to be okay is hard. Let’s go take a nap in our plush five star room. I need to rest up for tonight with my Romanian fire cracker.” Maxim snorted but he was happy he wanted to spend time with him.

*************

Levi and Eren were lying in the bed as the smell of food entered their room. Levi wrapped his arms around Eren, pushing his nose into his hair and breathing him in. Levi rubbed up and down Eren’s arms, he rubbed his lips back and forth across his skin feeling it’s softness, and he kissed him equally as softly, sweetly. Eren’s breathing was deep and even and Levi listened to his feint heartbeat. “Why were you crying?” He whispered and gently touched under Eren’s eyes. Eren exhaled through his nose, “I’m scared.” 

Levi kissed him more, pulled him more into his arms. He pressed himself against Eren, made him mold to his every curve and bend. Eren was like soft clay, warm and smooth. Levi swallowed his kisses when their lips met. He loved him, loved him to death. “Eren, don’t be scared. Whatever it is, I’ll protect you.” Eren whimpered, tears staining his cheeks, “I’m scared for you too.” Levi chuckled, fingertips leaving trails on Eren’s skin, “Don’t be. I have you to protect me.”

Eren made a small choking noise in the back of his throat and Levi swallowed it whole, “Hush, ahuvi. Don’t worry about anything. You are the crown of my love.” Eren smiled a little and he held on to his husband returning soothing touches and soft kisses. Levi was being so open and affectionate that Eren wanted to let it go and just love him. Eren attacked Levi, sucking him in as he kissed him hotly, mouth open and body shaking with the vibrations of lust, love, and ache. He ached for him to dote on him and be like this. Levi was being himself, how he wanted to be before life made him so hard.

It made Eren cry. He was always crying, “I’m always crying.” Levi hummed softly as his lips left his throat, “I know. I envy it.” “Why?” “Because I wish I could cry like you. I wish I wasn’t so hard. I wish I was better at it all for you, Eren.” Eren let Levi shower him with rare open affection. He looked young, he looked vulnerable, he looked so human and Eren’s heart beat loudly in his chest. Levi eventually took Eren tenderly against him and moved their bodies hot a slick against one another till they lay next to each other knowing soon Hanji would call them into the living room to eat and that they loved each other and would for eons to come. 

Levi moved kissing Eren’s arm, “I used to cry when someone would pick a flower.” Eren’s eyes opened, he wasn’t facing Levi but laying on his stomach looking at the walls. Levi’s words were the only interruption in the sound of silence. “I cried because I knew that they flower would die. If you love something, admire it, you should not kill. Das fünfte Gebot. (The fifth commandment)” Eren felt Levi’s finger tips trace up and down his spin after Levi rolled on to his side, “I cried when my mother took me to the butcher and I refused to eat meat whenever I could. I still look at meat to this day and feel this heavy feeling. Standing in the supermarket sometimes I lose myself amongst the red colored flesh of animals I’m not sure were killed according to the Halakha.”

“My mother knew that I was this way. Many thought I took after her but she strong, very strong. She sometimes was overcome by sadness over the loss of a child’s life or someone’s loved one but never like me. It’s like I could feel everything around me, could feel the energy of life and I could feel when it was extinguished. I cared about things more than others. I think that’s what I loved most about Mila, her love of life and respect for it. She protected all that she could and her home was kind to all. She spoke with birds and sang to them and they always built their nests near her window. She came to Williamsburg for a few years and we were as we were in Paris except there was a wall now, one I could never cross.”

“You will laugh but I’ve never seen any of the Disney movies. I only know the stories from common knowledge. I hear the princesses sing to animals and I think that must be what Mila was. I sometimes think you are one.” He took a moment to admire Eren and the memories of him working with animals and playing with Donner before continuing, “It got to the point where I couldn’t eat meat without making myself sick from guilt. My mother would prepare separate dishes for me so that I could eat without a heavy heart. I was essentially a vegan before it was a fad.” He paused, “It doesn’t seem like a big deal, a flower, a cow. I used to take care of strays and injured birds. I like horses and tried to go with a neighborhood man out to where he had stables and after his daughter told her mother and she told him I was wanting to go with him he started to take me. Then he took David when he came. I used to pray for summer to come early so that David would return. He understood me better, understood my sensitivity. Then, when I was diagnosed with my anxiety disorder it was made better by the fact I got Donner. Donner is an extension of myself and he is my most intimate friend. Receiving him was a blessing because animals are kind souls, animals are like innocent children. It doesn’t make sense to hurt them and it is a crime.”

“My stepfather’s name was Malachi de Metz….when I think of him and that time in Williamsburg…” Levi went still he became emotional covering his mouth, “it’s the lies, Eren.” He breathed in, tears rolling freely down his face, “The lies we tell others. The lies we tell ourselves. My God, I just feel so dead inside sometimes, utterly numb. I, it was better to be that way because if I could just start to kill what I was, how I was, maybe I could survive.” Eren swallowed heavily and Levi cried a bit more, “The Satmar reject secularism as you know. They believe in total isolation from all other ideologies, dress like they did in the 1800s, and they number over one hundred thousand currently in America. My life in Williamsburg was one lie after another but nothing was a sickening as finding liberation after years of ignorance from the greater lies the entire society was built on. I was taught about the miracle of the Rabbi who was saved by God. No, he was saved by the koffers emptied of gold and silver collected by poor ghetto Jews. He was saved by the ignorance his religious exploitation bred in his followers who believed so seriously that their beliefs would save them from the ovens and pits of fire at Auschwitz. He was saved because he used God as a way to elevate himself to a level that rivaled him, he became a king. I don’t want to retell all of the lies but you can look up the Kastner train. Know that when I first read the clippings I vomited and I still think of how my entire world started to spin out of control.”

“My mother went to the library in Paris when I was young and then she went in to the city in Brooklyn, the section outside of ours. She compiled information for herself and perhaps for me. I found it later among some of the items Kenny brought with him to the apartment in New York. In fact, I have things at the house and in the apartment I’d like to share with you but I’ve been too weak to. But, moving on. She knew the Rabbe our faith was based on was a farce. Malachi beat her harder for that and she used to take those beatings, lips thigh, just glad that I wasn’t the one being hit. She was never broken by him or anyone.”

“She was… she should have left him but the way she was raised and the fear…but then again she left all of those things in Paris….” Levi was quiet then he cleared his throat, “He…disgraced himself after being caught with an underage boy in a compromising situation. It wasn’t sex but it was scandalous and the Satmar find a lot scandalous. Later the boy recanted a statement that he’d made and said he had tried to willfully ensnare him. That’s how he was able to start presenting to the community the man of righteous learning again.”

“When my mother and I landed in Brooklyn, I was sad at the state of the animals I saw kept in pen on a communal lot. The city was cold and cement, tenant houses were everywhere, decrepit; and we were now going to live in one. Satmar take up a great deal of low income housing in the area and have been investigated lately due to their isolated nature and possible tax evasion. I was too soft for this world of cement pathways and rough brick edges. America was the tyrant protesting communism while espousing capitalism. I was tortured by luxury.”

“Kosher was the only way in the community and everywhere you went it was followed. You never came in touch with _treif._ But the meat, I felt like the meat screamed when it was near me. He was a butcher and worked long hours. He drank all day and made me come with him to learn his trade. He didn’t kill the animals right, Eren….he was so mean I think he enjoyed it. They suffered often. He killed like the goyim and often the blood mixed with the meat and you know we are forbidden from ever ingesting the blood of an animal or human. I grew ill at the sight of it and refused to go with him no matter how badly he beat me. I became his target.”

“I couldn’t handle the killing, the murder. I couldn’t stand the way they suffered and I suffered in their presence. He wanted to make me stronger because I was too delicate even for a yeshiva boy. He didn’t like my eyes lashes, they were too long so he pulled them out painfully clump by clump. When they grew back even longer and fuller he cursed me. He didn’t like how the women swooned at my hair and complexion so he forbade me from washing and didn’t curl my side locks. He wouldn’t let my mother clean the house and she was very embarrassed. It’s why I am, among many other reasons, obsessed with cleaning and cleanliness. Instead, my hair was nasty but my kippah covered it and my side locks curled on their own and the women coed at them, swearing my mother must have rolled them better than any other mother could. I felt dirty, nasty, sick all the time and they remarked that I must be a very devout yeshiva boy who managed to find time to play outside but really they thought I was disgusting, pretty, but disgusting.”

“He didn’t like my lips and made me hold ice to them to make them swell. It burned it was so cold. He rub them with a wire brush and make them bleed. He would make me put things away that were much too high for me just to be cruel. I had to stand on bottles some nights and if I fell off or fell asleep he’d pull my pants down and whip me harshly. David used to say it was like when the Egyptians whipped our people. I think he was right because I felt I was being punished for simply being chosen. He would deprive me of sleep for days. I was…gifted at Torah, Talmud, Mishna, Responsa, all of it I had knowledge about it, for it, and could help explain things and he hated it and would grill me in the middle of the night, _“What word is three pages behind the seventh word in the book of Genesis?”_ It was hell. I was in hell and I was so upset that I cried and cried until I couldn’t cry anymore and I got my wish, I started to die.” 

“My mother miscarried the only child they conceived. I think her womb rejected him for the sheer terror of bringing another life into the world with him as it’s keeper. I didn’t want to share my mother and David was enough.”

“He encouraged other boys to fight me, gang up on me and paid for brutal results. He wanted to force me become physically stronger by provoking me into becoming a fighter, which was forbidden to a mamzer and forbidden of any good Jew. But, I merely relied on David when they came after me until I got to New York and learned to fight from Kenny. David was everything he’d ever want in a son but he paid no attention to him, always to me. I grew older and my mother did her best to keep things together and keep the peace but I knew she was afraid of the way he looked at me. I realized something. He had never been ensnared by that boy. He had a penchant for them. He tried to make me unattractive, the reasoning is a mystery as to why but when he failed he started to look on with anticipation, with want and ache…..I was still sensitive, I still cared about animals. I still cared about flowers, I cared about people.”

“Meat was always where I faltered and he would stand for my rejection of it no longer. He would try and make me eat it but I’d refuse. My mother would weep and plead for hours for him to leave me alone. She tried to feed me separately before he came home but soon it became his obsession to torture me sadistically with meat. He bought un-kosher meats and would put them before me at every meal. Soon, he forbade my mother to feed me and would starve me with the meat as the only reward. This was to make me stronger. I was to eat the flesh because God hath made the animals to be eaten. But, the fifth commandment forbids murder. This is murder. I never wanted to murder anything. I never dreamed of becoming a murderer. But, he was set to make me one.”

“You may wonder, why do I eat it now? I eat meat because I am a murderer, many times over, and because I was starved for so long that I know like camp survivors that all food is precious. I weighed only 90 pounds when I got to Egypt. I normally weight around 150. Think about it, Erwin normally is around 200 and he weighed almost 115. He lost a lot of weight because he tried to share with me and wasn’t used to starving but I was used to being starved. The first thing they gave us in Egypt to eat were kabobs and I didn’t have time to think before I started to bite into the fresh meat rip with freshly ended life and I didn’t hear anymore screaming than I already heard from the people I killed and rolled down into the pits of yellow sand.”


	116. Birthday Gifts

When it was time to eat Mila crawled on the floor of the living room in glee. All of her favorite people were there and a few new ones she wasn't sure about but one looked like Ar and that was good. She enjoyed moving around the floor by the couches like this. Walking was something that you did at the playground for others but crawling was much more efficient and effective. She saw her stuffed German Sheppard and smiled before pulling it near and bopping it's long snout. She was having a good day.

Her mother and father were busy kissing and laughing while Win and Ar came inside with food that she wasn't eating and momma said she'd have to wait a little more. Ar picked her stuffed animal up smiling. He always had such a nice smile when he was with her. Win came over and kissed and laughed with Ar. He made him smile a lot like daddy did momma. She laughed too.

She crawled out of the living room and to the kitchen but before she knew it she was lifted up and then it was an even better day because Leevee was here. He smiled and kissed her cheeks, cooed and rocked her back and forth. She loved the strange words he'd always use with her then Er was there and he kissed her too and Leevee was so happy and that made her happy. She loved being with them and never wanted to leave them to go to sleep or other un-fun things she had to do sometimes. 

Levi and Mila walked around while Eren flopped down on the couch on top of Jean, “Kirsch, rub my back.” He whined and Jean rolled his eyes, “Get off, Eren.” But, he didn’t say it with any real bite. He really just did it out of habit. Jean moved to rub Eren’s back and a shit eating grin appeared when he did so. Marco snorted and went to fix himself a salad before he ate the real meal that was mouth wateringly coming together. Mikasa and David were now on the other couch cuddled up and speaking softly while Sasha sat in Ilya’s lap showing him pictures of everyone through the years. Maxim went over to see but left as the two became more affectionate and started kissing one another in a gross display..

He then came to stand by Erwin and Armin who were lovingly peering at one another, Erwin’s fingers pulling at Armin’s hem of his shirt. They made Maxim slightly more jealous than he’d admit. He was awkward when they turned to face him, “Are we…eating soon?” He looked around at all of the great food and his stomach rumbled. Erwin smiled, “Yeah, just waiting on the bread.” Armin smiled too and Erwin pulled him closer smiling even bigger down at him and Maxim rolled his eyes. Armin spoke, “That’s how it always is.”

Maxim managed a small smile, “Why did Zadkiel not come?” Erwin shrugged, “He told me happy birthday and that he would work on the cult and take care of the horse while we were gone. I think he didn’t want to come because this is the day my mother died.” Maxim nodded, “I didn’t realize she died in child birth.” None had asked about the relationship between his uncle and mother and father. Erwin knew that Maxim wasn’t stupid but he gave him a run down for the sake of kindness, “Yeah, it is very hard on him. He’s my biological father. My mother wanted a child, my father was sterile so it was agreed that he’d help her get pregnant and they would raise me with him as my uncle. It got more complicated as you can tell.” Maxim snorted, “That’s how it always is.”

Levi and Hanji were speaking, more like Levi was trying to wipe Hanji’s face off, while Mila played blissfully at their feet. Mike started plating the steaks for everyone, inhaling and checking the cut’s done-ness, and the sides were available any moment they decided to eat. Mila crawled over towards Maxim and pulled at his pants until she was standing on her own feet. She looked up, big green eyes, smile with two new teeth and a third poking through. She giggled sweetly and Maxim melted. He utterly melted inside and he wanted this, he wanted a baby, a family, and he didn’t have time.

Armin watched as he leaned down quickly and picked her up into his arms. He smiled fully, laughed as she touched his silky blond hair softly. He spoke to her, Russian sounding like a song and she was enraptured by him and his bounce as he walked with her and swayed her from hip to hip. Maxim looked to everyone in the room right at home with a baby in his arms. Ilya watched as they all saw the Maxim he knew. He wished he could walk on over there and see a bit better himself.

Sasha bent her head down to peer down at him, “After dinner we’ll probably open presents and then all go out and drink. I’d like to spend as much time with you as I can since I’ll be busy for the next two weeks.” He smiled, “You’re sharing a bedroom tonight but not with me. Bad planning.” She smirked, “Yeah, I’m more upset than you think.” Ilya pressed a kiss to her arm, “Let me up, Sashka. I need to enjoy mister never smile with a baby closer.” She laughed and nodded. Connie frowned as he watched them and drank his beer. Marco was near him to notice, “What’s up, Connie?” 

Connie blinked out of his sadness and looked at Marco, “Nothin’.” Marco nodded, “Come on, give me some info. I haven’t spoken with you in forever. Jean doesn’t share.” Connie smirked, “Well, school is good. Gunna graduate maybe a semester early. The catering business is really doing well and we’re heading up to B’ham tomorrow for an event. I think if we keep getting more and more popular we can maybe open something. I bought a bus and I want to turn it over to the commune so it can be the next tiny house.” He and Marco started to laugh at the thought. They were like a tiny commune. “But, I need to find a better place to live. You know, I’m not really in a bad apartment just…” Marco cut him off, “A bad part of town. Why did you move to the next town?” Connie shrugged, “It was cheaper.” Marco wasn’t satisfied with that reason, “God, not worth it. You know, Erwin had a list of places y’all could move to.”

Connie’s eyes lit up, “YEAH, HE SENT IT TO ME. I’m looking at The Forest right next to y’alls.” “Well, it isn’t right next to us since we’re smack dab in the middle of a field but it does touch some of the property Levi just bought across the street.” “How many acres do y’all own now?” “Well, Erwin and Levi own the twenty the house is on. Erwin owns about 200 or 300 acres around that and in other places in Maria including his father’s house that Mike and Hanji are in. Then Levi just purchased the seventy across from us so they can’t build anything there. He’s thinking about more horses in the future. He’s probably going to build his kid’s homes. I’d not put it past him to build a clinic for Eren because the other place he showed Jean was sold for development and he’s pissed..” Connie scratched the back of his neck, “He’s a sensitive dude, isn’t he?” Marco nodded, “You have no idea.”

“I thought you and Sasha were moving in together?” Marco couldn’t resist pushing it because he needed to figure this out. “I thought so, too. But, then _he_ showed up.” Wow, Marco hadn’t expected such a strong response from the normally calm Connie. “Well, has she said anything?” Connie was confused, “What?” “Has she said no?” “I…well we were just gunna do it and now she’s actin like she didn’t know.” Marco tapped his foot on the floor, “Wait, Connie, did you ever even ask Sasha to formally move in together?” “Why would I do that?” “Because that’s how it goes.” “I mean, she should just know.” “Oh, Connie, no. You are such a dumb fucker.” Jean’s voice was genuinely disappointed.

Eren was with Levi, sitting in his lap as Levi held him protectively and kissed the back of his neck and shoulders in such a loving way it made them all smile inside. Jean, however, couldn’t let this go, “Connie, you don’t talk to Sasha, do you?” Connie’s brow furrowed, “I talk to her plenty.” “No, you don’t _talk_ to her.” ‘Yeah, I do plenty!” “Not about y’all.” “What? What about us?” “Connie, man, do you like Sasha, like do you like her like a girlfriend?” Connie’s mouth fell open, “Umm, Jean, man, ummm…” Jean and Marco both looked at him and then Armin’s voice announced it was time to eat. The mad dash to food separated them momentarily and saved Connie from the wrath of Jean. 

Armin and Erwin sat at the table next to each other, Mila now residing in Armin’s lap, “Daddy, are you having a good time?” Erwin smiled, “Of course, baby. Thank you for my party.”Erwin reached over to smooth his hand over Mila’s culry dark hair with its thick curls. Levi and Eren were just as sickening in their sweetness. They sat at the bench at the end of the table, Eren nestled into the side of Levi as he protectively held him, “Brat, chew like a human and not a cow.” Ilya smirked from his seat, “He chews the cud so you’ve got a little kosher calf on your hands, I’d say.” Maxim elbowed him, “Shut up, idiot.” Maxim was actually eating a lot of food and so was Armin, a fact not lost on anyone since everyone looking. Ilya moved closet o Maxim and Maxim relaxed moving the rest of his artichokes on to his plate, “I like these but I want more mac and cheese so I need to make room.” Ilya smiled putting the food in his mouth and made a face at Maxim who scoffed.

Mike and Hanji were sitting next to them and Mikasa and David were on the other side across from them, closest to Levi and Eren. Sasha and Connie took the seats next to them. Mikasa and David were both smiling at each other and Mikasa took a drink of her minty water before speaking, “So, David and I have news.” Eren and Mikasa had exchanged a few words while plating food, safely away from Levi and his presence. Hanji smiled, “LET ME GUESS, YOU’RE PREGNANT!!??” The table all groaned and laughed at Hanji as Mike snorted, “I bet you’re going somewhere. You smell like the plastic that comes on new luggage.” Mike said plainly and David gave him an impressed look, “We are.”

Levi cleared his throat, “Mikasa is pregnant and having a hard time, ach. I don’t think you have much of a window for a trip.” David smiled at Levi in a knowing way, “That is correct. We’re going to be leaving shortly after Armin’s birthday on November 3rd on that Monday the 6th.” Levi relaxed knowing she wouldn’t be too far along, “Where?” David smiled, “Israel.” Levi looked surprised but pleasantly so, he had been missing the Holy Land, “Mazel tov. For how long?” Mikasa and David looked at each other, “Until we have the baby. I want to have the baby announced at the synagogue I made my home there.” Levi opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again. He was quiet for a long moment, face set in contemplation, “Oh HaShem…are you telling me that…?” David’s smile was huge and he held up a finger to his lips to mean “be quiet.” Mikasa turned, “I don’t want to know!” She hit him on the arm and Levi started to chuckle, “The only issue I have is that you could miss the birth of my child and Erwin’s.” David nodded, “I know and it’s important to me to be there and I want you and Eren to be in Israel with me when it happens. But…it’s important to me to do this and take the risk. Mikasa will probably deliver before her due date due to the nature of the pregnancy thus far and then you know…eight days…give or take and then we’ll fly right back to you and be here for more celebration. We’ve bought tickets for the Jaegers to come and stay with us. I’ve…kept my old apartment…” Levi looked absolutely wickedly pleased, “ _The_ apartment?” David’s body was practically glowing and shaking from excitement, “Yes, I’ll be sure to show her all the places you and I had special moments.” 

Eren bit his lip, “I wanna be there, Miki.” She blinked, “We’ve got your tickets, too. Don’t worry about it. I have a good feeling about it, Eren.” He sat back, “Just, what if something happens with our child so close to their due date? We’re going to have to make sure we have future kids in different months. This is complicated.” Armin smiled, “We’ll be here, Eren. Who better than us, you know?” Armin smiled and tried to make Eren feel more confidant and it worked, “You’re right. I could live with you or Erwin here and ready to make important choices on our behalf. We’re sort of going to co-parent if we’re all living in the same house, anyway. I trust you, Armin.” Levi exhaled slightly, he didn’t want miss holding his child for the first time when it was born, “And I trust Hanji and Erwin.” 

Mikasa kissed David’s cheek sweetly. She was more and more affectionate with him every day now and they all had noticed, “David knows what we’re having. Hanji gave us the envelope but I’m still not wanting to know so I need you all to either not tell me if you find out or keep him from tripping up.” Armin’s eye shimmered, “Ohhhh booooy I wanna know what it is!!!!!” Erwin chuckled, “I should do what David did. Armin doesn’t want to know what we’re having either. I want to know.” Hanji grinned, “Well, I can make that happen.” Mike was finishing his beer, “Hanji and I are thinkin’ of havin’ another one but with the litter that y’all are about to have I’m thinkin’ we better stick with this one for right now.” Levi and Hanji exchanged a heavy look. Levi’s throat felt tight at the thought of Hanji pregnant again after Mila’s delivery and Hanji’s almost sudden death. Eren smiled, “I think Mila would be a great sister or an only child.” Hanji giggled, “I know, we keep talking about what would we do with more than one? I think I’d never bathe.” “You barely do.” “Hush, you know that’s not true.” “From what I remember I had to make a schedule for you when I first got to Maria.” “Shut up shorty. You were the one dirtying me up.” Ilya and Maxim nearly choked, “Wow. This keeps getting more complicated.” Armin laughed, “We don’t do traditional here.”

The dinner continued and then suddenly Armin stood up taking the dishes away with Eren and David. Levi moved to sit next to Erwin, “I guess it’s gift time.” Erwin smiled, “Please, you didn’t have to,” Levi handed him an envelope, “Before you open it, this took a lot of convincing on behalf of my ahuvi to get this okayed. I had to okay this with him and get it in writing so I wouldn’t be nagged to death in the future. We are absolutely pathetically whipped.” Erwin smirked and took the envelope, “Speak for yourself. I am a freely acting man.” Armin and Eren came up with other gifts, “False. You belong to me, the state, and have but one purpose: to please and worship me.” Maxim snorted and sat back down next to Ilya on the couch. He blocked Sasha in Jean and Marco’s opinion but whatevs…

Erwin opened the envelope and read the first letter that was short. There was a longer letter, one with more feeling in it that he gave Erwin every year since they got back and if one were to look into those he wrote after the death of Gabriel he could see the formation of deeper sentiments. He then found inside two tickets and an itinerary, his entire body jumped off the couch and he was overcome with glee and surprise, “LEE! MOROCO!? NOOOOOOO!!!” Levi smiled, “We haven’t taken a trip just us….well, ever since you know…” Erwin smiled, “I know. That didn’t count at all. We were always either on orders or leave was short and you tended to go off on your own a lot.” Armin took the itinerary, “I’m super jelly but two weeks away from us right before we have a child?” He pouted and Erwin pleaded, “It’s the only time to go.” Armin crossed his arms, “It’s….around thanksgiving!” “We don’t celebrate that really.” “YES, WE DO ERWIN SMITH! I’M GOING TO BECOME A RIGHT PROPER HUSBAND AND COOK A MEAL FOR OUR PATCHWORK FAMILY.” 

Erwin was in stitches, “Are you serious, baby! You KEPT NEWSPAPERS IN THE OVEN!” “LET IT GO I COOK WELL!” Jean cleared his throat, “He does, actually. He used to make me food when he’d stay over and mom was workin’ late. He also bakes really well and he and Eren used to trade recipes. Actually, Eren learned a lot from Armin.” Levi’s eyes bulged, “WHAT? I’ve never heard about this.” Eren blushed, “I kind of wanted the praise you gave, all of it. Plus, Armin doesn’t cook much anymore because you do and so he knew it was a big deal for us so he just kind of fell back on it. He made Erwin’s cake and cupcakes tonight.” Erwin smiled, “Really, baby?” “Yep, your favorite. Strawberry cake and cupcakes.” “Baby! You’re the best!” Armin brought the cakes out and the room was full of mmms and ooohhs at the tastes. Levi looked at Eren, “This is like….this is amazing, brat. You learned from the master.” Eren pouted and shrugged, “I mean, my hat’s off to Armin.” He shoved a cupcake in his mouth and Erwin begged Armin to cook more.

Next, Jean and Marco handed him a large box, “Okay, there are two gifts inside. One is a painting from Jean and the other is just…you’re either gunna think it’s tots neato or not from me. It’s different.” Erwin gave a genuinely curious and flattered look, “O-oh okay. Here goes nothing. It’s not a snake is it?” Marco laughed, “No, no reptiles.” Erwin opened the box and removed the painting that was wrapped in tissue paper, “I know, it might be in poor taste but there was this reel of film you had that was damaged by sun and I took it from there.” 

The picture was one that Erwin had never seen, “Which reel was this…” “Oh, um, one that Zadkiel found when you let him see the stuff you kept of your dad. I assumed you’d looked at it. He asked if I could fix it somehow so if you ever wanted he photos you could have them and I saved a lot but this one was the most interesting and least salvageable. I had to take a lot of chances to get it right.” Jean shuffled anxiously and Marco kissed his cheek.

The picture was one of his mother, laughing while trying to cover it. Her hair was long and undone. She normally kept it braided into a bun in what he'd seen in all the photos of his father’s. His father was also laughing, he was on her right side, arm around her waist and on the left was Zad with his arm around her shoulders. She was pregnant and Zad was looking down at her stomach with this look he'd never seen him have and a smirk. His father was looking at his mother like she was the most beautiful person in the world. Both men radiated joy but she was the ultimate picture of beauty and grace. She had her hands on her stomach and in the background there was a banner, just enough showed to see "it's a boy." Erwin was moved to tears and Armin's fingertips gathered them up like tender butterfly kisses until he was well again. Armin could always make his hurt go away. 

Marco's gift was a book or rather, it was a rough draft. "Okay so, this is about you and your past life as a Hohenzollern. You were a prince of the Holy Roman states and you controlled one. Your name was Irvin as to be expected but your princely name and all that is inside. This is the life that you refer to as your "happy" past life." Erwin looked stunned, "What?" He was utterly shocked and Marco shrugged, "I started gathering information after looking into the collective memories I had. Cited sources, got some info from the family in Italy, you know, did some real research and made a history book. You know, Jean and I were secret lovers in this life. Jean was a catholic priest and so was I, a cardinal actually, assigned to your kingdom. We were important....we were the advisors to your estates when the plague came. Armin and Eren were female in this life and you and Levi had a few children. I did my best, really. I like the tale and if you don't mind I'd like to have it published." Armin sat in Erwin's lap and looked at the book cover, "There are.....photos?" Erwin quickly went to the page and gasped, "Jean was always a painter. We had them traced to Levi's mother's safe. She had collected a lot of things." They looked at the painting of Erwin and Armin. A few other paintings of Armin and Eren and Eren and Levi. They were all magnificent.

"But how?" Levi's voice cut through the moment, "How had she found all of these things?" Maxim looked to Ilya, "Safe?" "It must be." "But," "Da." "We can," "Da." "Interesting." Maxim counted his beads and Sasha came to sit in Ilya’s lap again. He smiled and touched her, enjoyed her. Sasha was fun, she was sweet, and she made Ilya feel like he could be his humorous self. She asked sweetly, "Tonight, will you tell me about Russia?" She smiled sweetly to boot and Maxim had to agree she was a cute girl with appealing eyes and lips. "Russia? What would you want to know about Russia?! I tell you about the best part of Russia. I tell you about," Maxim echoed him unenthused but it was show, "Mother Siberia. That is better than Russia. She is the mother of all." She smiled, "You too, Maxim?" Maxim looked at the drink Connie laid before him, a beer and he took it between his hands at the insistence of Ilya, "Whatever." Connie swallowed, "I'd like to hear, too." Armin's voice brought them back, "More gifts, daddy."

Eren got Erwin this huge candy [gift](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/94/16/f3/9416f378ad68e3fe4dc0e05514f12de0.jpg) of all the things they loved to eat without Levi and Armin. In fact, there were tiny marshmallow people in the shape of them and Erwin gave him a rueful look remembering their first nights alone. He also got him a nice [watch](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/c1/d6/15/c1d615161f4bf22d670813174c721f00.jpg) that Levi looked on with semi jealousy that he decided to voice since it would delight Erwin thinking he was envious of him. Levi sighed and rolled his eyes internally before baiting him, "Nice watch you got for your lover, brat." Eren's ears burned and Erwin practically made everyone eat shit with his grin, "Neshama, I have something good for all of you coming up, not just Erwin!" Eren ducked his head shyly, "Are you really mad?" Levi shook his head, "No." He gave Eren a kiss and then Hanji plopped down a box that was actually pretty pleasing to the eye for Hanji standards, "Hope you like it." They smiled manic like and Erwin hesitated, "Hanji....if there is something....errr....in a jar then I...." they cackled and he opened it slowly.

Inside was a few pieces of paper and then a jar, a large gallon mason jar surrounded by dirt and leaves, with a few stay strands of grass, “Hanji, I’d be concerned if I didn’t know what this was.” Hanji’s grin stretched abnormally, “Moonshine, the one we kept in the ground for safe keeping after…..you know…” “I cannot believe they were going to send us to jail.” “Yes, you can.” “I got us out of it, though.” “You should get a law degree.” “What is that shitty dirty shit?” Levi rolled his eyes moving Eren into his lap and looking around him.

Erwin noted how protective he was being, how strange Levi was being over all, “So, when we were growing up Hanji started their own Moonshine business and they almost got us all arrested.” Armin turned, “Are you serious?” Hanji smiled, “Yes, I make the best Moonshine and I had customers all over Maria and Erwin absolutely loved this shit and so did Mike. We buried it and vowed to only dig it up when we were ready to unleash the beast again. I was going to wait till we were thirty but since you’re all having kids and doing adult things why the hell not have a binder on some sweet Hanji Juice?” Levi made a disgusted face, “You’re filthy.” “You fucking love it.” Eren cackled.

Armin opened the lid and looked to Mikasa, “This is some shit you’d drink, Mikasa, and we’d all fucking die while you stood unfazed.” She smirked, “Is it that strong?” David looked to her, “If only I could see that.” She kissed him and Eren watched him and scrutinized him. “Can we bust out some glasses?” Erwin chuckled, “After my gifts are finished.” Armin’s face lit up in pleasant surprise, “I got you some serious stuff, Erwin.” “What did you get me?” “A boat.” “A….what?” “A boat because you wanted one and I made a lot of money at the store so why not? We can’t all keep riding just Levi’s! I want to go fast, daddy.” 

Eren and Jean exchanged glances, “We kind of also chipped in on that because we wanted to help pick it out. It’s outside with Levi’s in storage. We had it delivered and Mike and Hanji had it put up.” Erwin smiled fully, “So, you three got me a boat? Damn, that almost out does the Moonshine.” Levi smiled, “We can race.” “Yeeessss.” Armin then gave a few more gifts to Erwin, “I got you these too.” Armin shinned as Erwin opened his decadently dressed up gifts that were total crack purchases, “Armin, this is….is this what you and Eren think of me? I know Lee does.” Marco and Jean were giggling and Maxim and Ilya found it amusing. It was a [shirt](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e6/a1/e5/e6a1e52fee040f18d6a09f8486f09137.jpg) that said “It’s not you, it’s your eyebrows.” He loved his [cigar](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/00/37/00/0037005a9bebfa832d36a4bbcd63b994.jpg) kit and Levi even inspected them with Mike quick on his heels. Mike really enjoyed smoking cigars and would go to New Orleans to buy them in bulk from his favorite vendor. He loved his [shirt](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/8f/19/be/8f19bef3f8e862846444806b1f8910f4.jpg) that no one understood but Armin and Erwin were so thrilled over their inside joke that they didn’t care. 

Sasha and Connie had a joint gift of a cotton candy machine that made Eren gleeful and Levi tightened his hold on his to keep him from rushing the machine that would get crusty sugar traitorous bits all over his kitchen. He peppered the back of Eren’s neck and listened while everyone chatted and started to head to the fire pit outside. Hanji was getting cups, David had Mila, Mikasa was speaking with Sasha, Connie was cornered by Jean and Marco, Ilya was laughing at something Armin said and Erwin was staring at Armin and he was so happy it hurt his face from all the smiling.

Maxim, however, stood up and Ilya turned to him seeing what was in his hand, “Want me to get you a drink? Oh, have you even finished that one?” Ilya was studying him and he knew it. They passed a tense moment. Maxim nodded, face made of stone, “Yeah, I’m almost done with this one.” He walked off and Levi turned his head to the side, contemplating what he was seeing and how Maxim really worked. Ilya’s back was tight and that let Levi know even more. They were an interesting pair and Levi was very invested in them. It was at that moment that despite how improbable it was, how doomed, cursed, whatever words one could use to describe the totally devastatingly tragic fated feeling they had around their friendship Levi decided that like with Jean and Marco he “shipped” Ilya and Maxim. That was something Eren had told him. OTPs, or whatever those shitty letters of an acronym were, were often improbable and not at all “canon.” He didn’t care. It was a ship he’d like to see set sail. 

Maxim entered the bathroom and started to piss, leather pants tight on his hot legs and shirt sticky on his flushed and sweating back. When he finished he went to the sink and poured the entire beer out. He’d not taken one sip and would not. He let the water run as his hands rested on either side of the pedestal sink. He counted the beads on his rosary in his mind before looking back into the mirror at himself noting the red rim and pink pallor to his face, “What the fuck was he doing?”


	117. In the villa of Ormen

“You’re drunk.” He breathed against her cheek, swim suits wet and heavy from night time dips into the cool water. Laughter from the others who were making their way inside or staying at the at the fire pit. “And you’re handsome. I liked your stories.” He’d told her about growing up in Siberia, how his first job was distracting a police officer so that Maxim could steal an entire box of chocolates. They took from capitalist pigs. It was allowed. He’d told her that there was only one girl in the village that liked him enough for her family to try and arrange a marriage. She later became pregnant by another man and while not completely okay with that but somehow able to put it aside he then found out she had a sixth toe. It was a deal breaker.

Sasha was warm, she was fun, she was sweet. She made him wonder if they were kidding themselves and this was meant to be. She’d only known him for a few weeks but their common language and seemingly honest easy going nature made their time together pleasant and fun. They were physical but they knew things about each other, too. Well, he knew things about her because he was always editing what he produced in the way of discourse with her. 

She told him her father used to take her out into the woods often when she was growing up. He would lead her on horses with a saddle bag with just enough supplies for a day. He’d leave her and it was her responsibility to make it back to the farm alone. It was to make her stronger, make her understand the forest better. She was sharp, skilled in the ways of nature and he had such an appreciation for it. As a man with iron teeth he too was one with the ways of mother earth and the harsh frigid cruelty she possessed. 

She pushed against him and he let her lead. He was okay with that, liked to let her do the dirty work sometimes. Her lips were soft, they were delicate and womanly. He enjoyed kissing her. She had him against the wall and when they were completely naked he knew there was a chance they’d get caught with all the people walking around. The water was on, warm from him getting the handle just far enough to the side but it wasn’t so warm that they weren’t shaking initially. She let him lift her up on her tip toes, he pulled her leg up and wrapped it behind his back as he peppered her neck with hot open mouthed kisses. She sighed happily, hands traveling along his back. He wanted her to really scratch him but women were strange about things like that. He’d never really understood how people could be so shameful of their sexuality. But, then again, he did come from an orthodox background and was a shameful spot on the cloth of his community himself. He didn’t get it.

Sin was something Maxim talked a lot about but they didn’t really do sin in Judaism. He thought Maxim would be a lot more relaxed taking a more old testament approach to things. Ach it was all so confusing and he’d rather not think of Maxim while inside of a pretty girl in an outside shower who made him laugh, didn’t pull away when people saw them, was frank with him, never needed coaxing, who was just overall such an easy and great person, a real Mensch. Ilya was, however, wondering what he was currently up to.

When they were finished Sasha rinsed off and so did he slipping into a towel, “I need to dry my hair and turn in. I have to leave in the morning.” Ilya smiled, “You’re going to miss out.” She laughed, “I hope you have fun. It was a lot of fun the last two years and I mean, Levi and Erwin get really competitive. So, now if they each have their own boats then that will get even worse.” Mike walked up as they were still speaking and Sasha pulled at her towel to cover up more. Mike stopped and took whiff grimacing, “I smell sex and no candy. Please learn to control your animal urges.” He walked inside and she gave him a kiss on the cheek, “Spokoynoy nochi.” He smiled as she walked off, hand on his cheek that was flushed red, _Maybe he really was going to fall in love with Sasha Braus. Maybe they were just not aware of how perfect they were yet?_

Back at the fire pit Marco and Jean were contemplating how they were going to get Connie to give them a straight answer. Marco sat on one side and Jean on the other down on the pier when Connie slithered out, “Man, that water feels so good but it’s so freaky at night.” Jean nodded, “Yeah, I don’t like how black it is.” Marco grinned and Jean continued, “I also don’t like when this fucker here pretends to be a damn sea creature and tries to get my toes in the black water!” Marco cackled as Connie laid back on his back, “So, Connie, man, we asked if you had feelings for Sasha and we really need to know because,” Marco looked at Jean knew that he was going to hit him hard, “we think she’s falling hard for Ilya and Ilya is all about some Sasha.” “He calls her Sashka.” “He has nicknames for her.” “First nicknames, then marriage.” “It’s the natural order.” “Turth.” “I hate him.” Connie said quietly and sat up, “Guys, I….hate him. I absolutely don’t get it or why any of you like him. He’s….there is something about him and it isn’t just the Sasha thing.” 

That really had Jean and Marco spinning. Ilya came off as, well, a giant marshmallow blunt of a guy. “What? Honestly, Connie, we’re confused but we’re not going to jump on you. Could you explain why you feel that way?” Connie lowered his eyes, “I hope I’m wrong about him, y’all. I swear. But I just think that there’s something else beneath the surface of that goofy smile, relaxed walk, and full laugh. Something potentially sinister, manipulative, and well, he strikes me as a guy who has real potential if he’d just apply himself. He doesn’t outwardly apply himself normally from what I can tell from Maxim’s role in their relationship but maybe he is even being manipulated by Ilya right now. I bet that’s something he’s never even thought of. I bet Maxim’s personality is so clear to Ilya that he is truly the guiding force behind them. It’s all just thoughts right now but…he’s got hidden motives and I don’t want Sasha involved. I want us to do what we were doing before he came along because I want her to be safe.”

Jean whistled, leaned back with thud, “DAMN….Connie, man, you’re not so dumb are you?” Connie snorted, “No, I’m just…haven’t you noticed?” He turned to Jean, “The way I am?” Jean frowned, “No, I don’t think I have. I’m sorry. I want to get to know you better.” Connie’s feet moved in the water, “Sasha…what if she doesn’t know me?” Marco frowned, “I’m sorry, Connie. I’m really sorry we made things so dark.” He shrugged, “No, it’s okay.” He stood up and finished his beer before putting it in the trash can, “Gotta turn in because I have to leave in the morning.” He walked off and into the house.

Inside, Sahsa had already crawled into bed. Her hair had been dried with the hair dryer because he could smell the hot air. She was wearing a large yellow cotton tank top and pink Nike running shorts. He could see the curves of her womanly body beneath the covers, her hips, her stomach slightly exposed, and her breasts were-. She rolled over and threw them off, “God, it’s so hot!” He noticed the small teeth marks on her neck and shoulder, they’d be gone in the morning. He frowned and walked into the bathroom pulling his trunks off and hanging them to dry. He jumped in the shower shaving his head and face so he could sleep in more in the morning. When he left she was still awake but barely, “Annie showed up at Mikasa’s.” Connie stared, stunned, “She’s back?” “Apparently.” “Did she hurt her?” “She apologized. I feel like this is linked to you know…” “I know.” He had his taco boxers on when he climbed in beside her, “Do you know me, Sasha?” 

It was silent and he thought she must have gone to sleep so he rolled over to face the window, back to her, “Do you know me, Connie?”

********************

The next morning Eren woke up in Levi’s arms, warm, loved, protected, and sore from the assault Levi led on him which he had enjoyed most thoroughly and prayed to HaShem that when they had kids Levi wouldn’t lose his sexual drive to destroy his bratty ass. He yawned, turned over, looked at the ceiling and Donner whimpered. He probably needed to go outside to the bathroom. He crawled out of his arms, put on his trunks, grabbed a towel and took Donner outside. He’d left his shirt on because early in the morning there was still a chill. This was one of the last weekends people could swim and boat without the cold He let Donner run and catch the ball as he threw it and looked at the water and trees as they were illuminated with the early morning sunlight, “Donner, I’m gunna jump in the water.” Donner looked up at him, ball in his mouth, tail wagging, “Come on man, don’t do that.” Donner looked even more innocent and Eren threw the ball for a little longer before putting it away so that Donner would go and lay down on the pier.

Eren slipped into the cool water, his thoughts culminating into a whirlwind as he swam. He tried to calm himself, to let it go into the waters around him. He thought of Levi and his sleeping face, the things he’d told him recently. He wanted to see where he’d been in Williamsburg. He wanted to understand. 

Grisha was no saint. They all knew that now. He was trying to make things better and he and Carla went to therapy but that made Eren feel strange. What would they say? How can they heal and not really tell the truth? He knew that that was what was important, that the path of honestly was the true way to redemption. His father had offered to help in any way he could but right now Eren wasn’t ready to ask of him anything. He was just trying to be normal, have kids, graduate, make money, and keep his husband happy. Levi deserved the world and he would do all he could to give him that.

His mother offered up some information. She told him that she had never suspected that Grisha was doing what he was but she was sorry. She was sorry that she’d let him get by with abuse like she had. It was just that things in his father’s life weren’t what he’d been led to believe and with that thought all of the anxiety, the fear, that drop in the stomach cold chill that ran down his spine appeared and he let himself be swallowed by the inky waters and embraced the hollow echo in his ears of deep liquid sorrow. 

He floated, breath inhaled, ears full of loud silence, his eyes cool and the pressure on them from the waiting torrent made ever nerve in his body come alive as he felt himself grow ever more aware of his own vulnerability. _I’m not a remarkable person. I’m just the son of a remarkable man. I’m actually very normal, ordinary. I have no special power, nothing about me is special. He is special._

His heart thudded inside of his chest, he felt like his skin was becoming more and more transparent. He felt like there was something there, something on the other side. If only he could reach out and push across the border line. He tried. It hurt.  
******************

_There was a man found outside of the wall. He’s normal from what we can tell. Isn’t that him over there? He’s got a wife and kids, pretty normal. Look at those eyes, never seen any like that. What’s that remind you of? It r-r-re-e-emi-nds m-m-e o-o-f Sweee-d-d-dishhh Sn-o-w._ Eren broke through for but a split second, across and over the borderline, his lungs burned, life burned, he felt it, he felt something. Then he really did feel something and it frightened him so much so he pushed upwards and broke out of the water gasping.

He felt the air, wiped his face and looked around. Armin was there, he was swimming near him, had floated back, actually. He studied Armin’s face and was unsettled by it. Armin didn’t even look right, “How long was I under the water?” Armin didn’t respond. Eren felt his skin, it was pruned. How long had he been under the water, “Armin? What?” Armin didn’t say anything just shrugged, “I missed you.” Eren thought that was strange, “Missed me? We’re in the same house.” Armin swam forward and took his face in his hands, “Yeah, right.” He breathed before kissing him and melting into him in the water. Eren kissed him back, face scrunching into a frown, lips tightening, he cried slightly. Why did this feel so powerful?

Armin pulled back, “Maybe David’s not the mole. Maybe there’s someone else that we don’t know yet. But, I spoke with Mikasa and she seemed to know things we didn’t and that means I think we’re okay. Let it go. If he’s the source then he doesn’t know he is.” Eren looked at him and noticed the stare and how pointed it was, Armin was freaking him out, his entire soul was in panic, “Why are you looking at me like that?” Armin surged forward and kissed him again. When he pulled back this time he back stroked away keeping his distance and leaving Eren lost. 

****************

When Levi walked out of his room Erwin was with Mike, “Gotta get gas for the boat. The kids didn’t fill it up.” Mike laughed and Levi snorted, “Brats don’t understand boats need gas. Got it.” Erwin leaned down and kissed his cheek noting that Levi didn’t push him away like normal, “Have you seen Eren?” Erwin kept his arm around him enjoying the affectionate Levi, “Probably outside with Armin. Armin went looking for him. You know that they can only be apart for a few hours.” Levi nodded and Erwin knew he was telling him they were no better in his mind.

Levi went into Hanji and Mike’s bedroom and saw Hanji breast feeding Mila. They were in the bed on their back, pillows propping them up as Mila ate. Hanji’s hair was down, glasses on the table, their contacts case were on the side and he smiled remembering that they got them to go on scuba trip with him after he’d come to Maria. They got their certification by the skin of their teeth and he asked for permission to go on a night dive just the two of them. Hanji had loved it and he’d loved taking them to the gift shop where they bought a hermit crab, a Mr. Carol Projektorisnsky, that lived forever.

Mila made tiny precious noises and he moved closer and Hanji kept their eyes closed, “Mike,” they said weakly, sleepily, yawning, “thought…you wen’ ‘o g’t gas?” He leaned over, “He did.” A smiled started to form on their face, “Levi.” They breathed his name, smile stretching, he remembered when they used to wake up next to him on that dirty ass mattress on the floor of that apartment. He hated how filthy it was but if there was one kink about him he’d kept hidden it was just how much that turned him on being in a situation like that and with someone who could play on it like Hanji. It was a little known fact that they had skills in the way of attraction and they also had the rare ability to reach out and touch someone in their loneliness. If Mila knows you’re here she might stop eating.” He sat on the side of the bed, “Probably not.” He exhaled, “She needs food to be strong. She knows I don’t have time for weak things.” Hanji chuckled, “She is a Levite, that’s for sure. But, she’s also got some of Mike’s laid back attitude and I’m glad for that.” He reached over moved some hair out of Hanji’s face, “But, she got her mother’s looks and curiosity. I think she’ll become her mother’s daughter.” 

He kept softly caressing their face as they opened their eyes, “I don’t want her to be anything like me.” Levi’s stomach clenched, “You,” he paused and his hand stilled, “don’t get to say something like that, not to me.” Hanji stared at Levi and there was a moment where he wanted nothing more than to lean over and cover their lips with his own. They blinked slowly, eyes swimming and he knew it was the same for them. But, he had told Mike that they had never crossed the line and never would, not even once, and he couldn’t break that promise. He stood up, Mila grunted and moved suddenly. Hanji’s hands and attention went to her. When they looked back up Levi was gone.

****************

Levi got a cup of coffee, checked his email and saw that David was reading the paper, “I’m going to make breakfast for everyone.” The oven went off, pre-heat was over. Levi walked over to David who folded his paper, “Mazel Tov, brother.” David smiled, “Toda, Levi.” David hugged him, kissing him on both cheeks. Levi smiled and patted his back before walking to the doors, “Levi,” David called, “Mikasa wants to speak with you. She’s at the fire pit or should be. You know how I operate. You know I’ve been operating.” Levi paused looking out at the back yard and seeing Mikasa at the fire pit, tablet in hand, tea cup at her side and towel behind neck, “I understand. I love you.” “I love you, too.”

******************

“Annie said you deserved a break.” He sat in the chair, mug on his knee, looking at the fire. Annie and he didn’t speak much but he did believe that she meant that. She’d said it more than once and they had a similar life. “David is probably keeping his enemies closer than friends. That’s what this is. However, I am now concerned that my child isn’t protected enough.” Mikasa took his hand, “David hired security and your babies have been moved to the panic room. Zad is there…under surveillance.” Levi opened his fingers and she laced theirs together, “You are very kind to me.” Mikasa’s other hand rubbed her stomach, “You’re my brother, by marriage, by choice. You take care of Eren. You take care of me, Levi. I’ve noticed the things sent to the house David claims are his but he’s just trying to cover for you so you won’t be embarrassed. I appreciate the baby things, the books, the tea. I appreciate it more than I let on. We do that, you and I. We put our feelings inside.”

He listened to the sound of the birds, “Can I ask you a question?” She pulled at the hem of her cover up, “Of course.” “How do you feel about life around you?” She contemplated what he was asking, “I was really sensitive as a kid. I cared about everything, was a vegetarian because I couldn’t stand the thought of eating the animals we had on the farm. I couldn’t kill an insect without thinking about that feeling of death whether I really felt it or just imagined it. But then they came and killed my parents. I was paralyzed. When Eren found me, when he made me realize that I had to kill to live then there was this moment that I snapped and I started to I guess detach and become hard or numb to it all. I saw it as necessary and then I just couldn’t go back to that innocence, it was gone, it was lost. I’ve killed so what’s the point? I’m a murderer. I can only hope that my child is not and never knows that feeling. But, Levi, if I’m being honest and David and I have spoken of this, they will know what it’s like to have blood on their hands. We can only hope that their children do not. This is a long journey with many hidden paths that will lead us astray, that will lead us to dead ends and twisted dangerous bends. I think that we must do what we can and admit that much of what we will have to do will be in the grey.”

****************

Levi walked down to the pier, Donner at his side, “You left me again, old boy. You gotta stop being so cruel and pointing out how much better he is than me. I get it. He’s perfect, perfectly bratty.” Armin swam to the side and he heard Ilya and Maxim speaking distantly with Mikasa. They’d head down here soon. Armin wouldn’t meet his gaze but today Levi wasn’t going to let him get away. Armin had a strange feeling around him, “Mami, come here.” Armin pulled his towel over his shoulders, “No, leave me alone.” Levi walked over to him, “Mami, what happened?”

Armin was still looking down, hair in a wet pony tail, and, “He was….” Levi noticed the wet shit he had on, “Did you get in in your clothes? Why are you in your clothes?” Armin was in his sleeper shorts and shirt soaking wet, his fucking socks still on what the actual fuck, “Velvel, he was under the water. He was under for a long time. I jumped in because not once from the time I saw him at the house all the way down to the pit and then all the way to the pier did he come up. I got in the water, swam as fast as I can and you know I can swim fast, and then only then did he come up but he’d been under the water longer than I’d even seen. He was pruned, white, and blue around his lips but Levi he wasn’t drowning. It scared me. I’m still scared because something happened.”

Levi turned looking for Eren, “Eren!” He heard him come up on the other side of the pier and Armin looked anywhere but at them, “Neshama,” Eren’s voice was bright and happy, “did you sleep well?” He was on him in no time and kissed him, “Mmm I love you, Levi.” He looked at Levi but Levi was staring just like Armin had, “What? What’s wrong?” Levi kept staring and then he looked really upset. Eren’s hands flew to his face, “What’s wrong, Levi?!” Levi’s hands flew up to his face, “Eren, your eyes, why? What has happened!? WHAT HAPPENED?” 

Eren blinked, face confused and contorted, “My…eyes?” Maxim walked up and Ilya moved in front of him, “Where did you get that? What the fuck is wrong with your eyes?” Eren looked at Ilya but Levi was still clawing at his face, “I don’t understand. Where have your eyes gone…” Ilya’s eyes were trained on his necklace that his mother had given him, “This necklace has been in my family for a long time.” “Who gave it to you?” “My mother.” “Maxim, we shouldn’t be here.” “Ilya,” “Go inside.” “Don’t tell me what to do.” “Just go inside.” “No, Ilya, let me see.” Maxim pushed him to the side but Ilya was still trying to move him behind him, “Oh, well. That’s interesting.”

Eren felt uncomfortable and tried to push past Levi but he kept him pinned down, “Eren, what happened to you? Why are your eyes now grey?” Eren turned to Armin, “Armin! What the fuck is going on!?” Armin was shaky, “You realize you must have been under the water for over three minutes without breathing just from the time I saw you. It was scary Eren. You were suspended in the water. You’re face….your mouth was open,” “No it wasn’t.” “your eyes were open,” “No,” “You were just ghastly looking and you scared me really bad. The water around you was so cold and then it was…it was you from the original life for a split second and then it was something else, something that frightened me a lot.” “No,” Eren stepped back, look of fear, shock, and more on his face, “No, stop. Don’t say that, don’t say things like that.”

Armin looked at him, “You’re eyes are so pale grey they are almost transparent. Pretty in a very strange way.” Eren got upset and Armin moved closer, “I’m sorry. I don’t know how to fix it. I’m just really scared.” “Of me?” Armin didn’t respond and Levi kept mumbling and looking at his face. Armin nodded, “Of you.” It hurt him, it stung. He never wanted Armin to feel unsafe around him. “Maxim, Ilya, what about Eren’s key?” Maxim and Ilya were staring at them and they looked sickly, “It’s bad. Well, bad for us.” Armin moved closer to them and Eren wanted to cry the further he went, “Why?” Ilya and Maxim were stone cold, “It’s not really something we want to discuss right now. We should let you help Eren. We should go inside for breakfast.” Maxim turned and they all were left on the pier wondering what today would have in store for them.

*****************

Levi sat Eren down on the bench and Hanji hovered over them, “It could be something…” “Hanji, there is nothing that explains this.” “Well,” they leaned back, hand on Levi’s shoulder, he’d had an attack and Eren wasn’t eating because he was so concerned over Levi, “honestly with Eren there is never an explanation. I mean, he’s your soul mate. He’s a freak of nature.” Hanji laughed and Levi oddly relaxed. Mila walked over to Eren and wanted him to hold her. He picked her up and she seemed to study his face with intensity. She’d been in Maxim’s arms and Armin was avoiding him like the plague sitting in the corner. David was watching everything, taking stock as Mikasa ate her fruit and watched Ilya play Jean’s game boy. Jean and Marco were still asleep and she knew Jean would be upset but not at all as upset as Armin. Armin seemed disturbed and David looked to her noting that he also knew something was wrong with Armin.

Maxim walked over to Armin noting that Eren was now holding Mila, “Armin?” Armin looked up at Maxim. Maxim sat down with him and they waited as Eren was prodded by the two worried doctors and fed invisible food by a sweet child. Armin took Maxim’s hand under the blanket he had on him and Maxim didn’t shrug it off. Ilya noticed. When Erwin and Mike returned, Jean and Marco woke up and the hysteria began again. Armin wanted it to all be okay. The sun was coming up to the point where the lake called them, “Well, Jaeger,” Eren pouted, “I’m not a Jaeger anymore,” “Fuck you. Are you ready to boat because I’m kind of not feeling letting you ruin my day and Erwin’s birthday just because you had to fucking pull a Georg Samsa metamorphosis Kafka-esque shit.” Every smiled and slowly Marco and Jean breathed humor and life back into them all.

********************

Armin leaned over, lips smacking wetly against Erwin’s, “Baby,” Armin slid into his lap, “don’t distract me while driving.” He let the boat come to a stop and Maxim stared at Ilya in the water. They’d been pulling each other on the inter-tube but Armin was pretty drunk and was feeling Erwin right then with his happy smile, driving a fast boat, tattoo, and over sexy smexyness that he just, “Armin, think of the children.” Maxim snorted, “Don’t mind us. We’ve seen worse. At least you are married, da?” Armin smiled, “See, daddy, they don’t mind.” Levi appeared in his boat looking at Armin, “Shefeleh, don’t be so obscene.” Eren smiled wickedly as Jean and Marco drank and ate.

***************

Maxim was competitive. He was challenged by Jean to a tube off and it had to come down to Mike driving them. Mike was a total sadist. He took control of Levi’s boat and when he started Levi, Eren, and Marco’s hands all flew to the sides. Levi’s hair blew back, his face pure “oh shit” as he then reached out to catch Eren who was almost thrown over the side. Mike would zoom through other boats and then close to rocks which Levi didn’t mind too much except that he better never ever do that with his Eren on the tube.

Jean was eventually thrown into some tall grass growing in the shallow waters near another pier. He stood up, lake mud all over him and the smell was horrid, “Ewww,” Marco exclaimed as Jean came closer, “You smell so bad. Oh my god, yuuuck.” Jean frowned, “Babe!” Ilya chuckled, “Babe isn’t going to cut it here.” Mike switched boats as Jean immersed himself in the water. Marco moved away from him, “Babe! That’s so hurtful.” He pouted more and Marco finished his beer, “Sorry but I can’t.”

Maxim slid into the tube. He never got to swim and had barely learned how to until he almost drowned once in the Tyga on a job. This was a dream for them since they were so used to cold hard iced over lakes of nothing. He felt nervous because he didn’t want people to know that and he also wanted to win. He wanted to end this day as the sun started to set with a win. He needed to win. 

Mike was relentless. Perhaps, because Maxim was Russian he was testing that hardiness. He was hit by stinging rain when a freak storm happened but he didn’t let go. Ilya wasn’t saying anything but he was watching with vested interest because if he made it just a bit longer he’d have won. He zipped past a few sail boats frantically trying to make it back to the docks. He closed his eyes from the water for just a little longer. He tried to crush the feeling of danger that surrounded them this morning. Ilya had blocked him, offered himself up like an idiot. He could take care of himself. He didn’t need Ilya to protect him. He just needed Ilya to…

****************

Marco was on his knees in the bathroom. “Babe, fuck,” Jean’s face was red, he was panting, his breathing coming in and out in pants as he squirmed and gently thrust his hips forward into Marco mouth. “Fuck,” he groaned and Marco looked up at him, large brown eyes warm and innocent. That was all it took. “I told you I’d make it up to you.” Jean tried to catch his breath, a small choked laugh as he regained his posture, “You made me shower like two times.” Marco stood up, “I could not handle that funk.” Jean kissed him sweetly, “Thanks, Babe. I love you.” Marco smiled, “I love you, too.”

**************

Erwin made his way into the bathroom, a little sun burned, but happy. Maxim had won and he had to say he was impressed. Armin walked inside, drunk and a little odd. He’d been very odd since he’d returned and there had to be more to it than Eren’s eyes. Hell, that was pretty weird but how could that have made him so upset. He felt a tug and it was Eren, “Go and shower with Levi. I want to be alone with Armin.” His eyes unsettled him but he heard the need in his voice and he wanted more than anything for them to be okay. Eren was Armin’s greatest source of happiness. Whatever made baby happy was okay with him. 

“Okay, honey.” He kissed his cheek and took his stuff down to the other room where Levi was getting his stuff ready and the water warm. Erwin smiled at him and Levi didn’t pull away as much as normal. This was a good birthday. 

Eren got in the shower with Armin who turned around, face flushed, extremely drunk. He was drinking to act like he wasn’t still upset. “Eren,” he breathed and turned away as Eren moved towards him, their foreheads pressed together as Eren’s hands pulled Armin closer, “You were scared of me?” He sounded pitiful as he nuzzled his cheek and Armin pulled away slightly, “It was so bad, Eren. It was so scary. I thought such horrible things.” 

He started to ugly cry and Eren pulled him closer, “But now?” He whispered and Armin wrapped his arms around his neck. His words caressed his neck, “I’m still scared.” Eren rocked them slightly, “Don’t be, Armin. Don’t be afraid of me.” He kissed his temple, hands rubbing along his back, “I’m sorry, Eren. But I’m still not okay.” Eren pulled back, hands cupping the side of his face, “Let me prove I’m still me.” Armin smiled so softly, so sadly, “I know you’re you. I just don’t know what’s inside of you.” Eren’s breath hitched and all he knew how to do, all they had ever done, was to find comfort in each other’s arms.


	118. Moonshine, Pool Noodles, Shit

Mike stuffed the card under the small metal can tab and heard the pop. He groaned while the others howled. He picked the beer up and proceeded to chug it. They were playing a strange combination of ring of fire and some other drinking game that Levi had some up with with Erwin overseas when they had a will to die. Eren leaned on Armin who was laughing so hard at nothing that it made even stone cold Mikasa laugh, “I’m too sober for this.” Her voice soft, mirthful, “Mami,” David slurred, “do yoo like me hair?” Mikasa made a surprised face reaching over to card her fingers through his hair, “Yeah.” She grinned as he looked at her very intensely, “You’re not just saying that?” “No.” “You don’t think Levi’s is better?” “No, I don’t.” “But….” He leaned over and whispered, “whadda bout Erwin?” She made a pinched face and her eyes brightened up, “Between you and me, he could learn a thing or two from you but I understand that we’ve got to let him think his hair is the best.” David nodded, “Mami, you’re so right.” David pulled her into his arms and kissed her breathless.

Hanji pulled a card and asked Levi what to do with it. “You’ve got to shot gun a beer or tell a secret.” “Ohhhh what kind of secret?” “Whoever has a king can ask.” Levi spread his arm out wide, beer sloshing, “like, what shitty fuck has a king?” Ilya grinned leaning forward, “Me. I ask you a secret, da?” Hanji nodded, “Who was better, Mike or Levi? In the bed, you know.” Hanji’s smiled faded and they quickly shook and punched a hole in the side of a can of beer avoiding the question and shot gunning like a champ. Levi smirked and Mike looked at Hanji, “I’d like to know.” Mike’s eyebrows rose and Hanji shook their head. Erwin pulled another card, “Shit, I have to…” Levi smiled looking at the card but shook his head, “I refuse.” “I have to roll a piece of fruit up to my chin using only my body and the body of my partner. We cannot use our hands.” 

Erwin looked at Mike and Mike rolled his eyes, “Why me?” “We’re tall.” “Ugh.” They stood up and somehow a grapefruit was produced, “What is that?” Maxim asked staring at the fruit, “Orange?” Ilya laughed, “No, habi-,” Ilya quickly filled his mouth with a shot and Levi and watched as David’s eyes lit up, he had to gossip with him after this, when did he get into gossiping, oh yeah, Erwin was all about it, “it’s a grapefruit, Грейпфрут.” Maxim nodded, “I know the word, idiot. Just don’t really know…about it.”

He grumbled and Ilya forced a shot into his hand, “What does it…taste like?” Levi and the other felt bad. He didn’t know what a grapefruit tasted like. Mike frowned, “It’s different, we’ll give you some after whatever the hell happens now.” Erwin smiled, standing up shakily as Levi put his hand on his lower back to give him support. Eren and Armin were wrapped around each other, faces red, phones ready to snap chat. Levi let his mind wander at all the fun they could have later but at this rate they’d all have whisky dick and that wasn’t good. Hanji was laughing as they rocked Mila who was somehow falling asleep during the chaos. 

”Ok-aaaay, yoo’unna start dis?” Erwin slurred and Mike held the grapefruit in his hands swaying softly, he’d drank almost a bottle of jack by himself, “Erwin, I have…. no fucking clue where to put this?” Erwin stared, “At your…our…baby ports man. The place where we were…babies.” “You mean our belly-buttons?” “Yeah.” Everyone chuckled at Erwin’s “duh” tone. Drunk Erwin had not explained any of the rules and Mike turned to everyone like “um like wtf mates he’s drunk.” They placed the grapefruit at their navels squeezing it between them. Mike’s brow furrowed and he placed his hands on Erwin’s hips and then removed them staring downwards, “How long?” Mike asked and Erwin looked down and tried to understand, “Long? Like….you wanna know _that?_ ” Erwin followed Mike’s eyes down between them, Miek squinted more and tried to understands the drastic turn in their dynamic, Erwin looked back up at him, “like….i dunno, Mike, like hard it’s like…” he couldn’t find the words in this state, “Baby!” He turned and yelled till Armin’s attention was on him, “Mike wants to know, how long my dick is an’ I’m too drunk for an offizial number.” Mike was dying, his smile, his jubilant laugh of amusement and faux exasperation, “Man! I meant how long do we have to roll this fruit!” Hanji cackled and Levi nearly spat his beer on the table.

Eren was in stitches and Armin was wiping tears from his eyes when Erwin said exasperatedly, “YOU WERE LOOKIN DOWN AT IT!” Mike was howling, “DOWN AT THE FRUIT MY GOD ERWIN YOU ARE SO LIT!” Armin leaned over laying his head in Eren’s lap, “Like, I’d say almost 10 inches. It’s not average and you gotta be a grown ass motherfucker to take that shit. You gotta look it in the eye and psych yourself up for it.” Maxim found that to be hilarious, he leaned over putting his drink in secret into Eren’s cup, “The one eyed worm is hard to handle.” He grinned, smirked devilishly and handsomely as Armin chuckled, lips turned up at the corner at him as their eyes glinted in mutual mischief, “You gotta be grown. It is not for the weak or young. I think they should take a mold of it for toys. We should do that for extra cash.”

Eren cackled slapping his knee, “The great Commander’s challenge instead of the American challenge. Oh GOD WE CAN PAINT IT RED WHITE AND BLUE!” Armin squealed, “Noooooo GREEN AND BLUE LIKE MARIA! Tear down your walls with Commander Erwin’s mighty titan dick.” “PLEASE CAN WE REFINE THIS IDEA AND COPYRIGHT IT!? MIKASA! MARCO! PLEASE DO THIS FOR US!” Mikasa laughed, “How did I get roped into this?!” Marco was in Jean’s lap drinking, he held up his hand, “I ask of you no small thing but please, for the sake of humanity, commit your hearts to the cause and Lay. Down. Your. Ass.” Everyone agreed that was the tag line.

Mike and Erwin started to roll the fruit around their body, somehow horribly even for drunkards. Erwin was on his knees, grapefruit in the crook of his neck and pressed against Mike’s thigh because it had fallen so many times. Levi called time at two minutes and it was considered a success because his neck was on it. After that Eren and Armin took pictures of Erwin shirtless and in comically provocative poses as Jean posed him as a so call artistic director and Marco directed the shots with tag lines in mind. Mila was handed off to Levi who took her into the bedroom and laid her down to bed softly, kissing her features as she snored and smiled in her sleep. He brushed her hair, curls forming around his fingers. He hoped his daughter had curls. He loved the idea of that girl in his dream being his daughter. He lost himself in the thought till Erwin called for him drunkenly but lovingly.

When he returned Maxim and Ilya were doing some traditional folk dance and Eren was giving him bedroom eyes while nearly falling over on Jean who was eating part of the grapefruit. He saved the other half for Maxim and they were all pleased that his first taste was over all positive. Ilya wrapped his arm around Maxim for a hug and Maxim allowed a shy smile. They were close, everyone in this house was. They fit.

A few more rounds and it was Hanji’s turn again, “Damn, who gets to ask the secret this time?” Ilya shrugged, his smile infectious as they looked at them, “Me again. Sorry.” Hanji smiled more when he leaned on Maxim who scowled like Levi, “Lay it on me. I have to do what this time?” Levi had his hands on Eren who’s eyes were still freaking everyone out but the alcohol helped them all try to foret, “12 shots of your shity shit because we’ve drank everything pretty much. You’ll die with that moonshine shit.” Ilya looked for something easy to ask, “Erwin said you came to Maria when you were 16. Where are you originally from?” Hanji looked at the table, inside their body went hot before the explosion and then sudden darkness and numbness, “Nowhere. I’ll do the shots.” Levi walked over, frowning, it was all so complicated, “Shit head, I’ll have to help.” Hanji shrugged, “No, I can do it.” Levi sighed dramatically, throwing his arms and then down in disgust, “Fuck you!” Levi sat down and did six shots with them and then they all decided to drink Hanji’s famous Moonshine and embrace it since it really was all they had left. Things got wild as the burn grew inside of them. It was all black after that but Levi’s last thought summed it up, _shit_.

*****************

Eren woke up groggily in Sasha and Connie’s bed, his ass was destroyed so he knew he had sex. Jean was shirtless in a hammock in the corner. God, he hoped he’d not slept with him. When he rolled off the bed the world was spinning, head aching, eyes red and stinging, he walked into the living room and there were literally piles of shit every few feet. He heard what sounded like lapping or eating of something and there was a dog that didn’t belong to them eating some of Erwin’s cake which he was royally pissed about because he loved that cake and hung-over Eren could go for some yummy in the tummy Armin sweetness cake. It had pulled it off the table. All of the doors were open and the shit belonged to the dog and the ducks that were currently chillin’ on the deck and inside the living room towards the doors.

Eren walked quickly into the hall bathroom when his stomach turned and he needed to listen to its call. He just could not handle all of that yet in the morning and it was like, there were ducks and those ducks had duck families like did they bring their families inside for cake and shitting? Is this a Levi nightmare? Where is Kafka? Where are they? 

Eren swung the door open and found David, once again, asleep on the toilet. That must be his thing. He closed the door and walked into the hall pausing momentarily to look inside of David’s room. Mikasa was quietly resting with a body pillow and she looked like a goddamn queen in her kingdom to him. Good for her but fuck her too because fuck his head hurt and he wanted one of those pillows but they were for pregnant women and he’d been shamed at the store because he wasn’t _carrying a child_. Fuck that, that was body shaming…right? Fuck it all he didn’t know why was his tongue fuzzy itchy? Eren reached up and found plastic foam from some sort of…pool noodle or something in his hair. _God I have to poop I don’t have time for that_. He found Marco asleep among a pile of cereal on his bed with drawings all over his exposed skin in markers. Eren found them to be hilarious until he found a penis over his hip bone and a rather vulgar depiction of sex. Fuck you, hammock boy.

Eren made it into his room and Levi was nowhere. Sure, he was concerned. But he washed his face and started to take a shit anyway because Levi was grown, real grown. He was Levi fucking Ackermann, humanity’s strongest. He also cared about bowel movements and felt they were sacred. This made him grin because often Levi would insist that if they were in the middle of something important, and if he had to poop, they would finish discussing it while he was shitting. The memories made his face hurt from smiling and he curse the extremely pointd pain that ran across his temple.

Eren didn’t ask for the same, he needed no audience, but lo and behold Levi came limping in right in time. “Brat,” his voice was very hoarse, “You, fucking, clawed my back to shreds. I mean, fuck.” Eren was on the toilet groaning as Levi came closer, bags under his eyes, shirtless, only his boxers on , “Too loud, Levi. Fuck…plus, Neshama, I don’t scratch. Like, never really.” Levi gave him a look like “oh yeah?” He turned around and Eren gasped, “Levi!” He had dug into Levi’s back drawing blood. The red was down past his boxers and Levi winced rolling and popping his back, “Did you fuck my tattoo up?” Eren covered his mouth in potential horror, “Maybe. I don’t know. I’m not a tattoo doctor.” Levi snorted, “Oh yeah, we should go to the tattoo doctor and ask him for a second opinion, yeah?” Eren pouted, “Wow,” a thought made him grin, “that was so….your accent was so Yiddish. I loved it. Is that your real accent, French Yiddish? Don’t think I don’t notice you go in and out of a few. I think you repress the fact that despite living here for so long you were around English speakers. I bet your real accent is French Yiddish and you’re embarrassed about it.”

Levi blushed, “Shut up.” Eren finished and flushed the toilet, “No! I bet it is. I BET DAVID HAS A REAL ACCENT TOO!” Levi sat down on the toilet, “Maybe.” Eren smiled, voice low and demure, “Did you at least like the scratching?” Levi looked at the floor sighing, “Fuck yeah. Sometimes dominant you is just….mmm fuck.” Eren laughed and they both winced, “You’re such a poet.” Levi smirked and Eren changed, “There’s shit all over the floor in the living room.” Levi nodded, “No, Neshama, real duck and foreign dog shit. Mila can’t be around that.” Levi’s face slowly lit up, “Mila, go check on Mila.” Eren’s eyebrows rose, “Oh yeah, check on the tiny child.”

Erwin woke, head pounding, with Armin next to him, pink fuzzy handcuffs on and red lipstick smudged. He smiled knowing that something fun had obviously happened. He rolled over pulling Armin to him, “Mmm” Armin groaned, “Erwin, take them off please.” Erwin reached behind him and used all the strength he could to break them off. Too bad he couldn’t remember using them but yolo they could buy more later. When the metal finally snapped Armin chuckled, “Erwin smash.” 

Erwin smiled and kissed the top of his head. Armin had come to him, three shots in, lighter ready, and they had made love on the pontoon boat, created a fire in the fire pit, recited great works of literature with funny accents and then Armin had somehow convinced him to color with him using Mila’s crayons. Erwin was in love him so much and he had such fun remembering what he could of the glimpses of Armin’s smile as he lead him down to the water, as he looked up at him in the floor coloring, as he ate a cupcake and clutched Erwin’s arms. 

Armin rubbed his wrists sleepily, “Erwin, last night, I asked if you wanted me to ride you and you said “yeah…I guess.” What did you mean by that? Why did you say it like that? Like…what did that pause mean and why “yeah?”” Erwin apparently was a dumbass drunk as well as sober. One would think he would have learned to be a smart man around Armin. Armin was insecure, he had needs, he was sensitive and being a dumb boy-man was a death sentence, “Baby, I don’t remember.” Armin’s drew out the word, “Well,” he paused and moved closer, “I do.” Erwin smiled, _of course you do, you’re perfect, tiny, and Armin Smith the wonder brain,_ “You remember everything.” Armin snorted, whispering, “We agreed on a girl’s name.” Erwin groaned, “No we did not.” Armin giggled, “Uh, yeah.” He was dreading what drunk Erwin had said and some of the names he had mentioned one other night were winners like Garfunkel and Cho, “What….did…..we say….?” Armin spoke simply, “Artemis.” A sigh escaped him of momentous proportions, “Artemis…that’s better than what I was thinking.” “Daddy, why did you eat a bug?” Erwin’s eyes opened and they were red rimmed and stinging, his mouth did taste bad, “I ate a bug?” Armin nodded, “Yeah, a grasshopper.” “I ate that?” The familiar trade mark Armin nose scrunch, “Uh yeah.” “Did…Mike make me eat it?” “Yeah.” “What did Levi do?” Erwin chuckled, grinning expecting the answer, knowing he must have freaked out and Armin grinned giggling, “Rolled his eyes and looked disgusted. Ilya ate one too and Maxim screeched. In fact, Ilya chased Maxi around and tried to lick him.” Erwin chuckled, “Really? That’s sweet. I hope I did that.” Armin grinned, sticking his tongue out, “Yuck!”

Armin and Erwin eventually managed to go to the bathroom and shower and pick up the pieces of their crazy sex that resulted in water balloons, hand cuffs, and pool noodles. “I think we fought.” Erwin studied the pool noodles but found a trail of brown hair of which Armin noticed too being under his nails and attached to the Velcro strap of his Hello Kitty backpack, “Yeah, like look here is one with a huge chunk missing….but maybe Eren was involved…did we threesome?” Erwin laughed loudly making them wince, “I love you, Armin.” Armin smiled, “I love you too, Erwin.” Armin pulled on Erwin’s shirt and some shorts before they walked out of their room, “Oh God, bleach. I’m going to be sick from the smell….FUCKING DUCKS WUT!!!!”


	119. Car Talk

Maxim wasn’t hung over but he was in a strange situation none the less and his head was pounding from his use of it. He was turning around and around all sorts of solutions to his current problem. He had been so utterly tired from the tube and the day they’d had that he’d passed out hard as soon as he met the sheets. The sounds of Eren and Levi were actually a soothing sexual nursery rhyme and made him feel like he was back in Moscow transporting ammunition while the girls distracted his men after a long day’s work of killing and money laundering. 

Ilya had come inside of their room with a slam of the door, stripped to his boxers with quite a show, and to Maxim’s horror moved behind him, spooning him, and held him like when they were children. He pressed himself against Maxim and molded to him like none other. No girl had ever made herself so at home but that was probably because they knew he was no home. Maxim was a burned up factory, made of loose bricks, fallen rafters, and a few strange clear places with debris that might be useable. Iyla was a mosaic temple of worship. He was a symbol for so much. He didn’t’ mind too much how close his was. His stomach was warm and his legs were soft. His hands, however, had moved underneath his t-shirt where they stayed, burning white hot against his skin. Somehow, or for some reason, he didn’t make Ilya move. It was because he was too drunk, he told himself fading into the darkness of sleep, and in the past he’d learned that that normally making him move would make him redouble his efforts to be more affectionate.

Ilya’s breath was now warm on his neck, soft parted lips pressed against the skin, he moved in his sleep and brought Maxim closer, arms tightening, protectively. It was just so familiar and so comforting. He was the only person ever there for him and the only one in the world who remembered them, his family. Maxim couldn’t keep the walls up anymore. He was scared, he was sad, he missed the tribe, he was worried, his plans were changing, and maybe he wasn’t cut out for this. Maybe he was a failure. Maybe there was always someone better. There had always been someone standing in his way. He was never enough and never would be enough.

But Daniel was enough. Daniel was the head of all the tribes. He was the one who was better. He was sure that he had already blackballed them and made it so that returning would not be possible. That was something that maxim could barely stand because he wanted to return, he wanted to make his people flourish even if they hated him all while he was doing it. He wanted to return and to become the leader of the men with iron teeth. He knew that most men didn’t live past 35 in their tribes and those who did were only half alive. The Reiss family had killed anyone under 20 indiscriminately and taken children who were more than likely dead now. Those left were not ready to have more children, either in mourning of those taken or too young and scared to do it. Medical attention was scarce since most had been killed and schooling was almost impossible because it meant leaving the community for anything a Rabbe couldn’t teach. Over half of their population had been lost thanks to Adam and Uri. _Over half,_ Maxim’s gut clenched at the thought. If only they could get this over and go back home. If only he could figure out what role that all had to fulfill.

Ilya’s hand moved out of his shirt and up to his face wiping away stray tears, “Don’t cry, zolostska.” Maxim reached for his rosary, fingers smoothing over the beads rhythmically, “We don’t have a place with him around. What is our purpose? Will he kill off those who don’t follow him? What will happen? How do we help someone like that?” Ilya took a risk and pressed a kiss to his neck. Maxim seized up for a second and Ilya chose then to speak, softly, leisurely the way Maxim enjoyed since it was such a contrast to his own deep and demanding tone, “He’s a nice person. He’s woke.” Ilya was still drunk but he noticed the way Maxim shuddered and leaned away from him, pulling away from him, “Why do you pull away when I touch you?” Maxim swallowed heavily, “It isn’t right.” He looked at the wall trying to go deep inside of himself, somewhere deep below the waves of emotions he felt conflicting one another, “it isn’t right to be touched like this by another man.” He heard his father’s words about homosexuals and what it meant to be a man, it was clear that the lines of children were not the same as those of grown. Ilya’s voice was low, heavy with meaning, laced with comfort and something enticingly hidden between them, “We have known each other our entire lives, Maxim.” Maxim closed his eyes tightly for a second, breath almost hitching. His words were small, strict, they left no room for argument, “But, we’re grown now. We know more. We know that this is loathsome and wrong. _It feels wrong to me._ ” 

Ilya rolled back away from him and then suddenly he put Maxim on his back. He was hovering over him, face hard, eyes piercing, wide awake and not groggy like his normal stoner disposition. His voice was hard, pointed, and appealing to Maxim in its tone for some sort of expected reaction, “Does it? Does it feel wrong to you?” Maxim’s mouth was slightly open, breath caught in his lungs as he starred at him in shock from Ilya’s taking charge, “You don’t like when my finger tips graze across your skin? When we were kids you didn’t like it? You didn’t enjoy it?” Maxim stared and managed a small reply shaky reply, faux confidence flavoring it’s taste in his mouth and Ilya’s ears, “No.” Ilya leaned closer, neither breathed and Ilya’s wildness was sending Maxim over the edge into a panic, “Well, that’s too bad.” His voice was breathy, punctuated, coy, but then it became serious and blunt, “Because I enjoyed it.” He pushed away and off the side of the bed and the hardness was gone replaced with his goofy Ilya that was unmotivated, a follower, and easy going. He got up and went to take a shower to wash the drunk away. Maxim laid on the bed, heart thumping, breath shaky, cheeks flushed and so hot he felt like he’d just seen the devil and caught a glimpse of hell. His hand clutched the rosary but he’d never felt that far from the God he knows.

****************

They spent the next hour cleaning and then ordered breakfast. Well, they were all forced to clean at break neck speed under heavy scrutiny because Mila liked to crawl on the floor and it was clear that that would not be taken from her if someone could handle it. Levi said he could drive to the place and Hanji offered to go with him since they had slept decently and already fed Mila. Mila was currently building blocks on the rug with her father while Armin helped her arrange them in the colors she wanted. She had taken a fierce liking to Armin recently and he was rivaling Levi for attention now. Levi didn't mind. As long as it wasn't Erwin he could deal. She'd always be his Pamellah. They walked outside and he put his aviators on. The sun was not his friend. Hanji crawled in the passenger seat strangely and Levi took note. He sighed as they started down the hill to the side road. 

Hanji's fingers traced over their stomach lightly and carefully, "I'm thinking of taking she/her pronouns." Levi kept checking his mirrors noting they were adjusted to Erwin. He heard them but he decided to just ignore it and maybe it would go away as most of what Hanji said when he did exactly that, "Did Erwin take my car somewhere?" Hanji looked out the corner of their eye, "Yeah, he took it down to the gas station the other day." Levi frowned, "Oh, well, he has his own." "I think he just wanted to be close to you." Levi was always reminded by everyone that Erwin wants his attention, wants to be around him, wants him in general. He often wondered what he would do if he gave him what he wanted. Would Erwin just explode? Maybe. He might also want…. _more._ Levi grimaced at the thought, _Yuck._ "That's. ....shit." "You're coming along so well, Levi. That was almost a feeling." He smiled softly, "Why?" Hanji rested their head on the side, "Because of Mila."

Levi tch’ed, that made him upset because he understood it, “She doesn’t care. She won’t care.” Hanji sighed again, “But, for school and her friends. They’ll ask her about it. It’ll confuse them and then she’ll be upset if they use the wrong pronouns. You know, I don’t really care if people use she/her. I did when I was younger because I was so…sensitive about establishing it. I wanted people to know, to _recognize_ that I wasn’t like them and that was _okay._ I used their hate, their prejudice, and their cruelty to motivate me. I only ever needed a science book and a bottle of Jack Daniels. I didn’t need nothin’ else.”

Levi looked at the water as he drove over the bridge, “You’re sounding like Mike.” “You sound like Eren more and more every day. I think that’s what love does, Levi. Don’t be afraid.” Levi frowned, “Don’t change yourself. You are what you are, Hanji. You’re they/them. I don’t see why you’d ever change it when you’re finally in an area where you can be yourself with family that love and support you. If you want us to use she and her then we’ll do it but don’t do it because other people might not understand. Don’t betray yourself for other’s comfort. I just want you to be open to me and tell me straight.” Hanji rubbed their arms and face, “I let my OBGYN use she/her. I think I’m much more relaxed in my old age. Mike says he doesn’t care and he doesn’t think that it’s a bad thing as long as it’s what I want and it reflects how I feel. I’m kind of liking that way of looking at it because after having Mila I do feel…different. I thought I’d feel less so but I kind of like the flowering feeling of femininity. I don’t know, Levi. I don’t give a shit as long as I feel good about it.” Levi nodded, “Whatever.”

Hanji knew that whatever meant “I’m not into this because it has to do with feelings and feelings are so icky and not Levi approved because I’m tryin’ hard to be dead on the inside.” “Levi, don’t you think about school? Like, we live in the south. What if your child is made fun of for having two dads? I mean, when you’re a parent you think of shit like that and you just….you wrestle with it. You Jews know a thing about that.” They poked him as he pulled up to “Lake Time, Pie Time” and turned the car off, “Hanji, shut the fuck up.” Levi got out of the car and Hanji shrugged, “Always the same with you, Levi.” 

They thought back to the way Levi looked on his back on their mattress in their old apartment. Shirtless, marble skin glistening as the sunlight came inside, his lips were shinny after having a taste of them, and then there was how the V shape of his hip flexors looked as his pants fell lower and lower down his hips as they watched him writhe on hid back as his feathers peeked over his shoulders, decadent and obsidian. Their breath hitched at the memory of his stormy blue eyes, smoldering with intensity and sinful promise, as he looked up at them while they moved over him and straddled him. Their fingers, covered with chocolate sauce, disappeared between his lush lips parted lips. He coyly sucked on one, tongue lapping, as they slowly, ever so slowly, pulled it out of his scorching mouth, he purred when it was gone, _“You’re not the only filthy thing in this apartment, Hanji.”_

Hanji’s cheeks flushed. Hormones were really getting to them and they needed to get laid and let some of this energy go. They pulled their phone out texting Mike, _Add sex to the to-do list and oh yeah, get real people milk._ They sent the text and in no time a reply, _Real people milk? You mean, milk that humans can consume or are we going to try milking someone?_ Hanji laughed, _Marry me. ;-)_ Another buzz, _We can go to the court house or plan a real wedding. I don’t care as long as you’re there. I love you._ Hanji smiled and clutched the phone to their chest like a dork before replying, _What if we did a surprise wedding?_ Their phone buzzed again, _Han, your mind is amazingly wacky. I love you._

Levi walked inside to pick up their conglomeration of things: pizzas, calzones, salads, sandwiches, and more. Levi thought that Armin’s need for salad was amusing since he also wanted pizza and cinnamon rolls. Levi thought Armin was adorable. Erwin’s order of two calzones with spinach didn’t surprise him but his extra olives did because he knew Levi loved olives. Why was he being so fucking nice to him all the time? Armin liked olives too. He knew that Erwin knew that they would just steal pieces of his calzones. Did he not care about his food?

When his ridiculous husband’s two pizzas plopped down in front of him he was even more amused. Levi knew Eren could eat, had watched over two years in fascination and thanked HaShem that he didn’t sleep eat, but he was astounded by just how much Eren really ordered and knew about himself. He was always running a high temperature that frightened Levi and made him wake up in the middle of the night with anxiety and check him, always messy and making things dirty, always goofy and laughing too loudly, always quick to fight and extremely moody, always bitching and whining, always smiling and kissing, always crying and worrying about small animals at winter time and whether Levi had eaten enough that day and what Armin was doing because he wanted to cuddle with him and had Erwin had a good day at school and can he get candy from him, always perfectly bratty and Levi absolutely loved him. “Where’s your husband, shithead?” Levi looked across, “Go fuck yourself.” 

His old nemesis appeared, “And Erwin? How is his arm?” Levi’s face revealed nothing but he was surprised he knew about it till he remembered that Erwin had brought Armin to eat there the day they bought some antiques, “It’s better.” “Good.” He slung a dishcloth into a bin, “You make it better?” Levi peered at the wooden counter, voice soft emotionless, “In a way.” He paused, “What’s new?” Levi could smell gasoline, “I’m going to be a father.” He humphed, “Mazel tov, you fucker. You make those wombs, right?” Levi’s head tilted, eyes tightened, small curious upturn in the corner of his mouth, “Yeah, how you know about that?”

The man put everything in bags and boxes for easy transport. He then disappeared and came back with an Israeli copy of a medical magazine all in Hebrew and Arabic. The smell of gasoline grew, “I fucking read, shithead mossad agent.” Levi felt very off, his hands came up to the lip of the counter and his fingers drummed softly a few times, “Yeah, I helped make that.” He gave him a look like _“yeah, helped, you did it all,”_ “So, what are you having?” “I don’t know. I don’t know if I want to know until it’s born.” He snorted, “Probably a boy.” Levi wanted a girl badly and the thought of not having one made him sad, “Why?” “I think God gives us what we deserve. You deserve a good son to carry on your name.” “Girls can do that now.” “Really? You think yours will?” It hurt him to hear something like that. True, if he has a girl she may marry a man and then take him last name but she might now if she loved him enough, “My husband took my last name willingly. It’s important to me but he didn’t know that.” “Why?” “Because,” Levi’s throat was dry, “I’m all that’s left.” The man stepped back and opened the cash register taking Levi’s money and putting it inside. He only took half and handed the rest back, “My father…he was all that was left. Keep in touch, go forth, multiply, number more than stars you Mossad piece of shit.” Levi smirked and took the food to the door, “And remember, go fuck yourself.”

Levi got back inside and Hanji’s face flushed again, they were really going to need Levi to tone down the bad boy persona till they could get a hold of Mike. “Okay, shitty glasses, I’ll use she/her if it makes you happy. I’ll fucking do whatever you want or think will make Mila happy. I only want you two to be happy because….I might love you a bit and I love her a lot.” Hanji smiled, “Thanks. I’m not sure yet so don’t tell.” Levi scowled, “I have to tell Eren.” “Duh, he’s your husband.” “Okay.” “What….what are you going to do about schooling, Levi? For your children?” Levi wanted to wreck the car, “Haaaaaanjiiiii, what the actual fuck?! I don’t even have my baby yet!” Hanji reeled, “EXACTLY! I have mine and I am just worried about public school.” “So put them in private.” “Noooo I don’t know if I want to put them in such a petri dish of rich.” Levi actually laughed at that, “Then home school.” As soon as he said the words his wheels started turning and Hanji grinned.

Erwin had been homeschooled but that was by his father, a teacher, and a horrid person but he was a qualified teacher, “So, Levi,” Hanji’s voice made him cringe, “Yes?” They leaned forward, “I want to ask Armin and Erwin to get certified to teach in the home school setting. I want them to be Mila’s teacher. But, I know that Eren has been looking into Jewish day school and,” Levi nearly ran off the road making Hanji grab inside the car, pizzas sliding on the seat in the back, “LEVI!” “WHAT?! WHEN DID HE DO THIS?!” “He and I were talking on the phone the other night when he was searching for them.” “What?!” “Is it that surprising? He’s a Jewish mother.” Levi slowly started to smile, laughing, “Oh HaShem…he is.” “Doesn’t it sound great, though? All of the kids could have the best education possible. If they go to day school then they will meet other kids and they’re not going to miss out on that. Maybe when they get to high school they can do what Erwin did and join? I think Armin and Erwin would be perfect as the teachers. Erwin needs something that’s slower and Armin really has a gifted mind.” 

Levi bit his lip, “Armin has the store and Erwin’s got God only knows what in the works.” “Well, I was thinking that we could kind of ask them together and I had another thought.” Levi looked at them out of the corner of his eye, “What?” “I want Armin to baby sit Mila…full time.” Levi pouted, “THAT HURTS!” “BECAUSE HE CAN DO IT AT HIS SHOP!” “YOU ARE A GENIUS BUT NO! I WANT MILA!” Hanji sat back, “Ugh, Levi we work! We can’t bring her to the lab every day! I would if I could! She’s my baby, Levi. My baby…” Hanji started to cry and Levi felt bad, “Stop….fucking crying…you look” he looked over at them as they wiped their eyes, “super shitty when you cry.” Hanji snorted and laughed, “Asshole.” “I know.” “I love you.” “I love you, too. I guess Armin’s fine.” “Thank you.”

"Did Eren really look at day schools?" Hanji nodded, "Yeah, he was looking at an intensive one in Odette. It has a good recommendation from a lot of successful alumni and it's only a 5 minute walk from Armin's shop. Eren thinks they can go Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays and on Tuesdays and Fridays can be with The Smiths. Or some other variation because they are super flexible. That way they get both and Armin isn't taking them to school every day. I think maybe Mila should do this too. I would really like her to have a good stable education and life and be able to see her friends constantly. She'll be older so I need to decide soon. I might try kindergarten and see how that goes in public. I don’t know. It’s a lot to worry about.

Levi thought of Mila in the Jewish day school, "What does Mike think? He's southern Baptist. I don't know if he'd like that and Armin and Erwin aren't really that embracing of religious education. Maybe they could cop out of Judaica class but that's kind of defeating the purpose of the school. Universal Jewish centered education. It’s the same thing that Christians get, even in the public school system they're the majority and everything is viewed through the lens of Christian faith. I mean, this is our one place we can be specifically about viewing things from a Jewish lens. I don't really think one should enter that place and try to change it. People are always trying to rip it away from us, strip us, and you know what is worse? When people tell converts to tell their un-accepting family that they are just trying to live like Jesus did. I mean, that fucking pisses me off. He was an Essenes Jew. He was the furthest from traditional Judaism and why the fuck are we telling people to somehow give him validity by saying shit like that. In fact,” Levi inhaled a shuddering breath before gripping the steering wheel. He tried to keep a lid on his true feelings especially when this personal and potentially unsavory, yeah, even he cared sometimes. 

“I don’t even want people like that involved in my religion.....I don’t care how it sounds. I am tired of everything we have being acculturated and deemed as only acceptable in a Christian light. I don't care what they do, what they think or believe. I just want them to leave me alone and not try to proselytize the shit out of everything and everyone. If you send Mila, I don’t want you to take her out of the Judaica classes or have Mike be upset. If Mike isn't okay with it then don't do it. Don't do it or I'll be fucking pissed and not let you forget it.”

Hanji chewed the inside of their cheek, "Would Mila benefit from a Jewish education? " Levi deadpanned, "With the world like it is, it might single her out. She could be branded, her thoughts will always be under scrutiny. If she supports Jews, Israel, or anything like it then she’ll be marked as a…I don’t even want to go into it all. Perhaps, you should let her go to school with normal kids. Maybe, she should make those decisions later when she’s older about how she is perceived. We can see that now she’s pretty average, okay, well, I think she’s possibly the most amazing child in all of existence,” Hanji smiled brightly, wide and all encompassing smiled, “I think that, too. God how you love her,” Levi became shy and ducked his head down, “so starting her off as a target of anti-Semitism isn’t something to take lightly and I would hate to have to handle her abusers with force. It is something I’d never like her to experience and it’s something that Eren hasn’t received a full dose of yet and I dread the day. He saw a bit when we were in France after the attacks.”

“They were only holding back, not sure if he was one of “them Jews” or not. They had their opinions on those who were converting or those who kept relations with Jews. He hasn’t really seen it yet, that strange hate that is based in absolute nothing. Every one speaks about Islamaphobia. I’m not saying that there isn’t a problem. No, that would be absurd because there is and to deny that is like denying global warming. But, I am saying that still, if we’re talking about who is still being marginalized, who has never been on top, who is always subconsciously placed on the bottom, filtered through a lens of distortion, and who is always unanimously placed at the bottom it’s the Jews. This is nothing but the crusades again, Muslims vs. Christians. We’re just suffering along with all the other religions while they fight for whoever has the biggest dick size. We mourn, we’re told to let it go it wasn’t that bad. We move on, we’re told we learned from our oppressors and are now oppressing. We assimilate, we’re still seen as pretenders. We stay separate, we’re accused of having double allegiance to either out people or a state. We literally cannot win against anti-Semitism because it’s a type of disease, an infectious paranoia rooted in baseless fears and unfounded beliefs and you know as well as I that paranoid people must always seek out someone to defend themselves against because they are never fully satisfied with their so called “wins” they get from little altercations. I just…I need to stop because I can’t….I don’t have the words, Hanji. I’ve never had them. I can’t put 6000 years of history into words and talk about the great and small themes of suffering, of liberation, of enslavement, of successes, failure, ghettos, camps, streets, sewers, walled cities, shtetls…I don’t have the words. I never have words. I’ll never have them and I feel like I haven’t even made what I’ve already said clear.” His eyes were watery, “Don’t put Mila in the school unless she wants it. Don’t mark her, Hanji. Don’t taint my sweetness with my people’s suffering.”

Levi went quiet and they were pulling up to the house, “Why does Eren even love me?” Hanji reached over and took his hand, “Because inside you’re good, Levi. It’s not the only reason but it’s a big part. You’re good and emotional and raw and let’s be honest, Eren is a handful of all of that combined and he needs guidance from a steamy older version of himself.” Hanji’s voice lifted the words in pitch upwards and Levi scowled. Hanji started to laugh and Levi parked, “Shut the fuck up you piece of shitty shit.” “Love you toooooooo. But, honestly, I am very thankful that you’ve spoken with me. Mike’s not really into it and he’s very, “she’s one, Han, stop.”” She imitated his stoner voice and squinty eyes. Levi snorted, “He’s right, though. Shut the fuck up or just talk to Eren. I need to talk to Eren.” Hanji smiled taking off their seatbelt, “Wonder how today’s gunna go?” Levi sighed, “Ugh it might be bad but hopefully not….hopefully Armin will replace that cake because damn I know Eren and I were eye ballin’ that somethin’ fierce.” Hanji cackled, “Talkin’ like the youth now.” “Fuck. Off.”


	120. Connections

Armin was laying on Eren, hands pulling at his shirt. Eren had a blissful smile on his face as Armin crooned softly David Bowie’s Black Star, “In the villa of Ormen,” he laughed slightly as did Eren, “in the villa of Ormen. Ahhhhh” Eren got really tickled at Armin’s half attempted sound effects, “Stands a solitary candle. Ahhhaaa at the center of it all….” Eren echoed him, “at the center of it all,” Armin smirked, “You’re eyes.” Maxim sat down watching them and Ilya picked up Mila and helped wipe her hands off preparing for breakfast whenever the others got there. Mike smiled and Eren hugged Armin closer to him, “I love you, Arm.”

Erwin walked inside of the living room smiling, “I’m hungry but I’d like a little time with Armin now that our heads aren’t about to explode.” Eren pouted and Armin smirked as he turned on his side for Erwin to scoop him up. He picked Armin up and Eren pouted, “Noooooooo” Jean walked over and laid on top of him, “Shut up and rub my back, Jaeger.” Eren kept pouting but started to do as Jean said remembering himself asking earlier that weekend, oh how the tables had turned. Jean sighed thankful for the reaffirming affection. Marco was on the phone right now and that made him nervous but for what reason he didn’t know. Yvonne seemed to be in a hurry and Marco wasn’t acting right.

Erwin went over to the other chair. “What do you wanna talk about, Erwin?” “We need to decide on a short list of names, honestly.” “Okay, well, I have one and I can email it to you.” “How impersonal. But, that’s good because I have one too.” Armin snorted, “So glad I married you.” Erwin smiled kissing him, “Also, we need to talk about the additions to my will, about the schedule at the shop, Hanji and Levi want to talk to us about something too and that can’t be good, we need to discuss changes to my class schedule,” Armin stopped him, “Your classes are already set.” Armin’s look could kill and Erwin quivered. 

Erwin treaded carefully, “Uhhh nope, I just off the phone with Zackley and they’ve changed. It’s going to make things easier and go a lot faster.” Armin paused and then the wheels started to turn, “You know, Erwin,” his tone made Erwin cringe in knowing, “it amazes me just how…how Zackley always seems to do for you anything and everything.” Erwin felt like some sort of bomb had gone off in Armin but quickly he was roused from his mental slumber, “I don’t know what you mean. It’s just that my Ph.D opportunities have presented themselves earlier than expected. I only have one more thing to turn in and then I can get my masters and walk in December while already preparing for January. I’ll have off all of February and March for our baby, baby.” His smile was dashing but Armin was made of valerian steel.

Armin’s eyes were calculating, “I doubt you’ll need two full months off. That is very generous of him. Did he suggest that or you?” Erwin danced around it, “I did. I want as much time with my sugar baby as possible.” Armin went in more, “What do you have on him, Erwin? What does Zackley owe you?” Erwin shrugged, “I haven’t the slightest idea what you mean my precious dandelion because I don’t have anything on him or anyone else. Zackely is merely an understanding person and a good person. He’s a mensch.” Armin stared, “I see. This is war, Mr. Smith.” Erwin’s face faltered for a second before turning into a delightfully golden mask of control and smiles, “I suppose it is.” Armin moved closer, “I’m going to destroy you.” He kissed Erwin and it scorched as Erwin pulled him closer, _Oh no you won’t my sweet prince._

Levi and Hanji appeared with the food and everyone rejoiced. Levi took Mila and let Hanji separate the orders. She was delighted to be in his arms and he cradled her to his chest and loved on her with his French idioms. Marco was outside up until that point and when he stepped in Jean moved off of Eren and over to him in a flash, “Babe, what’s up?” Marco worried his lip, fiddling with his hands. He sighed, “Yvonne wants me to go to Ukraine and cover some of the political unrest there but…I don’t speak Ukrainian and it’s dangerous and it means me being away from you maybe a month or two or three even, Jean. I can take time off from school to do it or well, speak with my professors and see if they’ll understand.”

Ilya walked over, mischievous look in his eye, “I’m sorry, did you say you need to go to Ukraine?” Marco wiped down his face, before lighting up, “Ilya, you….you are a genius. You stayed in Ukraine and you were there for Maidan! YOU CAN HELP ME!” Ilya smiled, “If you want or need someone to help you, I can come with you. We can hit up some of my old….places and you know, I have someone there still. He runs a small…eh publication.” Marco raised his eyebrow, “Publication?” “Like…pamphlets.” “Really?” “Yes, for the underground.” Marco’s eyes were lit up and Jean groaned, “Daaaamn. Babe, I want to go but….I would feel better if Ilya went. You should tell Yvonne.” 

Maxim jerked off the couch and walked over, “No, Ilya has things to do here.” Ilya shrugged, “Ha I’m pretty much a free man. You have it all locked down here, Maxi. I can take a month or two off and go back to Ukraine. You don’t need me.” His lopsided smile appeared and all was settled as Marco called Yvonne to tell her the news. Jean sighed, “Listen man, he’s my life. I’m going to count on you to take care of him. He’s literally the only thing in this world that’s good and pure for me. I can’t make it without him, ever. I never knew how bad I was gettin’ by till I met him and fell in love with him.” Ilya smiled brighter, “I understand, Jeanka, I’ll take care of him for you.”

Maxim frowned and Ilya walked away. He moved closer to Jean, whispering, “When would they leave?” Jean shrugged, “I don’t know till Marco get’s back and off the phone. Russia is eying China and you know Ukraine has oil fields. It’s like a bad House of Cards episode.” Jean laughed nervously and Maxim noted he was far from okay with this. For some reason, Maxim wasn’t okay with this either but he didn’t want to admit that. Still, he had to ask, “Won’t he not go if you tell him you don’t want him to go?” Jean smirked, “I wouldn’t stand in the way of him doing his dream job and this is it.” He shrugged, “I’m just uneasy because I’ve lost him so many times. I know what that’s like. I wouldn’t survive it again. I almost drove off a cliff when Armin died because I couldn’t handle…it..…” He cleared his throat that was tight and shrugged with a nervous laugh, “Sorry, that was morbid. I’m just really close to losing my faith in humanity every second of the day.” Maxim knew the feeling.

Erwin and Armin were eating their food, and like Levi had predicted, he and Armin were quickly stealing all of his olives much to his delight as they sat around him like a king. Eren and Mikasa were discussing names for her baby and talking about his eyes, “What did you see?” Eren finished his first pizza, “I saw a guy, looked like dad, and he had grey eyes and all of these people were talking about it. Then, something started to hurt, burn, white hot. I saw things but I’m not really sure what they were because I…maybe it didn’t want me to see it?” Mikasa drank her water, “Eren, do you think…that dad has a secret past?” Eren swallowed, “Um, shit, well, it’s possible that he’s special too.” Mikasa frowned, “Shit, shit, shit. Eren, that’s it. Something is special about dad and it goes back to the original life.” She turned around, “Armin, please come over here and brainstorm with us.”

Erwin made to move and Mikasa pinned him down to the chair with her gaze, “Not you, Mr. Smith. Just Armin.” Armin walked over, “Oh, just like old times. The trio is brainstorming again. I am thankful as ever to be included. My head’s going to hurt, isn’t it?” 

Armin braced himself and Mikasa began, hands on her stomach, “We think that dad is the reason for Eren’s eyes.” Armin blinked and started to think, “Hmmm I do like a challenge but this is very challenging. Okay, so first off, water is a very symbolic thing. It’s can cover us, it’s a gateway to a new world. It’s perhaps a portal to the past. So, you went back to the original life. You must have been a kid because the memory would need to be from you for the way I made the coordinate work.”

“And the eye color is unique. It’s a recessive, probably from a more northern geographical place. It’s possible that there is a connection to me, Erwin, or even Maxim’s linage. I don’t know about Ilya. David….David has similar eyes….sometimes…I need to look into that. It’s similar to Mikasa’s but she and Levi have almost the same eyes. I have often wondered about her relation or potential relation to Levi. But, that’s not what I should be focusing on right now, okay.” Both Mikasa and Eren tightened, they were all already so connected that that was just getting gross. Armin went on undeterred, “So, Grisha and your mother both have green eyes. Mmm there’s something up but I can’t figure out what.” Eren stretched back, “I’d say he wore contacts but he wears glasses through.” Mikasa perked up, “He could still wear contact’s Eren.” They all thought about the implications and then Armin turned around, salad crunching between his teeth, “Maxim, come on over here and tell us a story.”

Maxim sat down, “Why did Ilya act the way he did when he saw Eren’s necklace. Maxim tapped the edge of the table but did not answer, “Maxim, we’re on the same side. Please, trust us.” Maxim turned around and Ilya was watching him but he didn’t seem interested, “It’s one of the mezuzahs.” Well, that was unexpected yet should have been very apparent in Armin’s opinion, “So, Eren comes from Men with Iron Teeth?” Maxim squirmed, “He’s the….dark horse of us, you’d say. His father and probably mother are descendants of them. Except, that, if the mezuzah came from his mother than it might mean that she is a woman with iron teeth or perhaps, she is the holder of your father’s mezuzah…which is interesting.” Ilya shifted and Maxim could feel him, he knew they were on the same level right now. “Why?” Armin prodded and Maxim sighed rolling his eyes, “Because that’s a lot of trust and very symbolic. Eren is symbolic, he’s very special, and his parents are important people.”

Eren frowned, “I remember in the original life that my father was a special person. I’m not, never have been. I only ever got comically lucky. In the original life I was given the titan serum because my father wanted me to avenge my mother. In this life, I was given the serum by mistake and with no proof it would work or wouldn’t kill me. I’m normal. I couldn’t even use it to save the world before, Armin had to do it. I’m just a place holder.” Mikasa frowned, “That’s not true. Because you have an indomitable will. Not everyone has that, Eren. Armin has his mind, I have physical strength, but you have the blind power of will. You did wipe the titans out, remember? It was just that someone else lived and brought them back. You were then attacked and Levi was compromised and you tried to save the love of your life. There’s nothing normal or ordinary about you. Most people would have given into fear and tried to run away and save themselves. Eren, what’s happening now is a sign and we’ve got to figure it out and run with it because we’ve got momentum where we’ve rarely had it before.”

Maxim patted the chair next to him and Ilya sat down. Eren looked at him, “Why did you want Maxim to move away from me? Why were you so upset that you blocked him and turned on me?” Ilya met his gaze unabashedly, “Because you are dangerous to us. You and Levi. You two are who we are to avoid if we know what’s good for us.” Levi had been holding Mila in his lap while eating with Erwin. Hanji reached over and took her. He heard his name and stopped eating. Maxim ventured cautiously, “Levi is…a child of Saul isn’t he?” Levi stood up, “Saul Lavie? Yes, I’m his bastard.” David cringed, bastard was such a loaded world with him, “He’s my father. What does he have to do with this all?” David was lost, he wanted to know, “Saul was heading to Sweden to revive an old branch of the tribe. Occasionally we…. branch out and form new tribes to try and keep our numbers hidden. It was contested, dangerous, we had to arrange for him to go through the proper channels and pretend to be a part of the greater Hasidim and Satmar.” Levi’s blood boiled. 

“What?” David moved closer and Ilya and Maxim pulled closer to one another, “We hide among normal Jewish sects sometimes. It’s just a precaution. A few here and there. But, I am starting to suspect that Saul wanted to have a child with Levi’s mother because she might be our point of contact in the community…or she was. She was a tribe leader in her own way.” Levi sat down, “What would my mother have to do with the men with iron teeth?” Maxim chewed his lip, “It’s just a theory I have, but she may be a woman my grandmother spoke of. Olympia, our sister in Paris and then in Williamsburg. She was a cache for materials about the past, about the Reiss family. We write down our memories, our traditions, but sometimes the family would wipe out entire villages like in the pogroms. We had to have a reputable person who wasn’t under the watch of the Reiss family and I think that was your mother. I think she…pretended and blended in so well that the Reiss family did not know her or…perhaps…someone protected her?”

“She went by Olympia?” Levi asked incredulously. He remembered papers, pen, inks bleeding on the table and then he saw the letters, O LY M P I A, but in Hebrew. Gold ink that shined under the light. He was going to be sick and Donner came into the room. “That would explain why she had all of things that she did.” He said in despair at how complicated his mother’s life must have been and just how much she had shielded him of. “I think that’s why she slept with him, too.” Ilya offered quietly, “Because that would make two tribes instead of one and that is better for safeguarding the traditions…it also…makes you important and worthy of protection. She wanted you to be special and to be protected and powerful. She made you chosen and she didn’t have to.” Levi and David looked at one another and he felt strangely a sense of providence at this moment.

Like smoke from incense rising from alters in the temples he felt himself fall into a series of emotions and glimpses of ancient Judah. His dream daughter’s words came back to him and he knew Ilya was right. He needed to look for a link between his mother and dare he say it, Marilyn. “My mother has a place at one of the banks in Paris, lockers and rooms full of things.” Maxim nodded, “Sounds like she was the cache. Sounds like you’re who we think you are. You and Eren are both technically tribe leaders now. When you have children, then you’ll have your heirs. Erwin and Armin are with Jean and Marco. They are not leaders but members of this revived prestigious Ackermann tribe. You see, there is this…prophecy that when tribes begin in the New World then the tribes in the old will die. You two are the markers of our end. You are the beginning and we’ve come almost 1500 years to this point…”

“What does that mean? What does this all mean!?” Eren was upset and Levi took his hand, “It probably means that they knew eventually that the Reiss family would move to the New World in order to establish power. They also have the rule that men with iron teeth can’t travel to places where their men did not die. Hence, the Reiss family has probably prevented any of them traveling to the New World through all kinds of legal and illegal ways. Mostly, they keep them in the woods and poor. So, they started a cache for us. Perhaps, when you were on the boats…” Armin turned to Erwin, “Erwin, when we went looking for them in the original life didn’t we end up somewhere cold and icy?” 

Erwin took a moment to think, “I believe, judging by the trees, we ended up somewhere in Scandinavia.” David’s eyes narrowed, “My father was going to Sweden.” Armin bumped in, “I think I’ve had some sort of dream about a cabin in Sweden.” “Then,” David began slowly, “there must be something there, you know?” Ilya moved to get up and go to the bathroom, “I think Maxi can take it from here.” Maxim bristled as he left for the bathroom. “I think it’s safe to say that you made it to Sweden and from there formed tribes, Erwin became a king of some pagans, and then from there history took over. He eventually came to Germany, from Germany to Poland, and we, the other men, were split between East and West with Erwin mostly staying in the west probably fighting the Reiss family that was still left. The original wall was in north Germany from what we’ve all put together. But you all knew that already.”

Armin blinked, “No, we didn’t know that. That makes sense, though.” Maxim smiled a little and Armin did too, “I think that, perhaps, this is like you said an end and a beginning. I think the European chapter of the Reiss family is dead and that we can truly focus on their power here in the states. Easier said than done since they are in cults, medicine, government, politics, etc… but then our plan of letting the Wall alone in Europe makes sense.” Maxim smirked, “I think you killed them all when you killed Abulafia. Good job.” “You really think that we’ve finished it? I have noticed that most of the issues are merely created by the remnants of Abulafia in Europe.” Maxim nodded, “That was one of the reasons I came. I believe that theory. We must cut to the heart of them and that is here in America.” Armin was very happy that he agreed, “We really are of similar mind?” “It appears so.” Erwin’s fingers tapped the table, “I bet Levi’s mother met my mother.”

“How do you know that?” Levi said abruptly, snappy, “I just feel it, Lee.” Levi signed taking Eren’s hand, other stroking Donner’s fur. "I was just thinking the same thing." Levi reluctantly admitted that and turned when he heard Mike clear his throat, "Makes sense. I think when you two go to Morocco you might wanna head to Paris before comin' home and take a gander in that locker. I'll ask dad and mom if they know anything. Dad surprises me sometimes." Erwin heard what Mike was implying, "So you really believe he does know something. Thanks, Mike." Mike nicked his chin up, "No problem." "But what does that mean for me?" David said quietly, "If we are both Lavie then," Maxim sensed the danger in that and he cut to the quick of it all, "Levi takes his mother's blood over Saul's, her last name, everything. Her fourtunes, her misery, however Lavie property and such is to be split with Levi according to law. Her family left the tribes first and she was the last of the Ackermanns to produce an heir therefore, he gets his own tribe. You stand for the Lavie tribe because your mother was not special. Only your father was. This is biblical. Don't cross too many lines." No one understood what he meant and then Levi was crushed by it, "He means don't be like so many biblical brothers, ach..." David and Levi blanched, well, hadn't they already been tempted? 

David nodded, "We don't have that problem. I love my brother. I guess I'm just confused. Kuschel was a woman with iron teeth?" Maxim's fingers curled and uncurled, "Yes, her mother and father survived the Holocaust in different ways. Her mother was in the East and was hidden among friends in the Ukraine in cellars and churches. She could sing and the church had her sing hymns for cover. But the Nazis were anti Christian as well as anti Semitic and soon she began singing on the streets for a local socialist club when churches were unsafe. Then she was captured, put on a train. Fortunately for her, it stopped due to the tracks being bombed and she was taken out with the others and lined up to be shot. She was shot, fell into the grave. She survived, crawled out of the ditch and found her way to a contact's house and was returned to us.”

”Her father was a German Jew, sent to Dachau for political reasons. He was a a doctor, skilled surgeon and he escaped from numerous other camps till he joined an otriad in the woods of Poland and then made it back to us. He met her mother and declared passionate love for her and they were married in less than a week. But she was sick and hadn't had menstruation for a while. He worked with her, they wanted a child. Eventually in the early 50s they had a boy but the Reiss family came in and killed him with others. They left it in the frozen fields to die and her mother’s cries are legend among us and other weeping mourning mothers. Then they had another boy the next year Kenny Judah Ackermann. In the early 60s they had Kuschel Rivka Ackermann but they weren't the only Ackermanns. There were a few men and women left but for some reason they would not have children. They said it didn't matter....I think they knew they were stronger than the other tribes. Ackermanns have always had a special place among us because they were the Kings chosen confidants. They tend to make us want to follow them. We wanted to follow the moment we first met.”

Maxim didn’t like to admit it but it was true and Ilya nodded, “It’s true. You compel us. Eren is…dangerous to us unless he’s coupled with another tribe and that’s you. So, actually, this all works out. I think that is why we are all…targets because…we’re figuring it out in our best…future interest you could say.” Maxim continued and seconded the sentiment, “Yes, the way you’ve all consolidated and found us even means that you’re slowly consolidating your control and power. You are very close to the first time we almost destroyed the Reiss family.” Levi looked at Maxim and he knew that this was hard for him. He didn’t want to follow Levi and Levi didn’t really want to lead.

Levi started to finish eating, "Then how did I get here?" Maxim blinked and Ilya sat next to him, "What do you mean?" Levi rolled his eyes and Erwin surprised a knowing smirk. Haughty Levi always amused him, "I mean, I was alive during the Holocaust so how does this soul circling work?" Maxim and Ilya both were at a loss until Erwin spoke, "The photos, they had uncle on the back. You might have been your mother's uncle or great uncle. It must be that we occasionally pop up in the lines and that would explain my wealth. They said that a Smith made it so that our wealth could never be transferred to the Reiss family and if you think about it, that was probably during," he held up Marco's book, "this lifetime. I would have been happily married to Armin and they said it was the spouse of the King that probably did it and let’s be honest Armin is the grand master of our universe. I bet we came up with something. And there have always been at least one person left in all of our relatives." Wow, they hadn’t thought of it like that.

Mikasa and Jean looked at one another, they knew that they had had many a life where their children had survived them, "There was the life that I died but my child didn't. Armin carried him away. And we've had other lives where I've been with Levi, Eren, Jean, Armin, David, and even Erwin and Marco. And since we are all fated to come together our offspring would benefited to come together. We fall into similar caste structures from the original life too. It...makes sense. I guess, I’m sure some of the children went to other countries and places and that’s why some returned to the men with iron teeth…But, didn’t something…didn’t someone say that…..I don’t know I have a memory but I think it’s Armin’s.” Armin frowned, “What is it like?”

“Something about them waiting? That they were worried about having to wait?” Ilya perked up, “Cycles, da. There are cycles, twenty to forty years and the most was sixty. Before the Holocaust I think it had been…almost forty. I bet they were anxious.” Levi’s eyes narrowed and so did Erwin’s. Erwin spoke, “How do you know that when you didn’t know about the reincarnation?” Armin straightened in his chair and Maxim grew more cautious, “We didn’t know that was what was happening but that….that there were certain…” he waved his hand in circles searching for the words, “prophets. We have prophets and I suppose that they are you all now. I knew of prophets with similar names. We don’t name anyone Levi unless it’s a family name, for example. We don’t have Armins either, it isn’t allowed unless the soul speaks to the parents. David is special, too. We don’t name many after him either. Only named if souls speak, you know?”

They all grew tense and Maxim and Ilya knew something was going on, “You think we’ve lied to you all?” Maxim tch’ed and pushed his chair away from the table, “Fuck off. We’re leaving.” Armin stood up suddenly, “No! We’re just trying to understand!” Maxim was pissed, “Fuck off! I see your looks. We don’t have to be here, we can go.” Levi and Eren exchanged glances and Donner growled lowly, “Maxim, are you from the original life?” Ilya stopped, hands on Maxim’s back when his feet stuck to the floor at the strange question, “You would have seen us.” Armin took a breath, _thank god Levi, you know just how to bide time._ “Please….Maxim, don’t go. Please, for me. Or at least tell me where you’re going so I can keep in touch. Please.” Erwin would have tied Maxim to a chair to keep him there for Armin. _Oh, damn….this might be the control issue the group mentioned while building the tiny house._

Maxim gritted out between clenched teeth, “Armin, do you understand me? Do you understand, just…how insulting it is?” Ilya took over, “We can’t go back to our home.” Maxim turned around, face red, screaming, “Idiot!” Armin stepped closer, “You came here and knew that you’d not be able to go back home?” Maxim’s back was sweaty and Ilya moved closer, Ilya spoke, “Yes, this was…important. We couldn’t miss the opportunity…to kill them…to save our people….” Maxim scowled, tch’ed, and then spat at Ilya, “You’re only here because you followed me! You have no interest in these things!” Ilya smiled looking down at the floor, his voice morosely amused, “You think I followed you?” Maxim was fuming, “I don’t think, I know. Idiot.” Ilya looked up, “Then you give yourself too much credit. Who follows who, Maxim? Not I, Ilya Nabatov, I am always doing exactly what I want.”

Maxim’s entire body shook and Eren blanched, “Please, don’t actually fight. People are always fighting in living rooms around us, throwing chairs, grabbing rocks, and junk. Please, no fighting. Just, go somewhere separate and think about things…please….” Maxim’s skin was so pink and hot he felt feint, “You know what you are, Ilya? You’re nothing without me. You follow me like a loyal dog, a side kick. You have no shame.” Ilya’s eyes hardened, he rolled his head side to side, “I shame myself for you, Maxim.” He walked out to the deck and Maxim went to his room. Hanji popped the tab on a beer, “Well, they need to hate fuck, am-I-right?” They smiled and Levi snorted, face a solid mask, “Shut the fuck up Hanji.”


	121. Lemonade

_If I were evidence where would I be?_ He bit his bottom lip, mouse hovering over the barely visible computer file, he right clicked, ran as administrator and did a few other things Jean and Ilya had taught him and then bam, _transcripts are a good start and oh look at these transfer documents and a little bit about Mr. Ackermann himself._ He smiled and continued to focus on the task at hand then everything else going on. Eventually after the lake trup, Maxim had calmed down but his words had raised more questions for the group as a whole. The tiny house was almost finished, Eren woke up every morning and made breakfast, he stood in the open doorway with him and looked at their children growing in the strange wombs inside a metal prison. He added a few stickers to baby Smith’s chart for color and tied a red ribbon on baby Ackermann’s.

The transcripts seemed pretty average but he kept looking and digging. Levi was literally a genius and he could have lost himself in his past for hours. Soon he was inside of Erwin’s emails and he was doing everything thing he could think of to get more and find more. He felt like a junkie and he kind of was. Information was definitely his heroin. He scoured the mailbox like a black hat hacker. He had hacked a bit before and now as he leaned forward watch ticking in the silence at an early 6:45 am, red sour straw in his mouth, open can of vanilla coke nearby, in his cute [PJs](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/9f/54/e3/9f54e3db919bc04f0aaff2a35686a11c.jpg), and hair in a messy bun he found the original transcripts and started to put it all together in a neat timeline. He turned his music up, some German rap by Trailerpark and grinned.

Armin printed out his evidence, hid his tracks, and then did something he really would feel bad about later. He decided to look at Gabriel’s emails and was somewhat glad he did. It seems there was some sort of behind the scene exchange with Zackely and Gabe. Another mystery. He guessed that’s where Erwin got his secrecy from but then the door opened and he cringed, “Well, well, well,” Zad’s voice was thick with amusement, “that’s not your mailbox, Arminka.” Armin turned around, “It’s for work.” “It’s for you. Don’t lie my beauty.” Armin pouted, “I have to get ready for work, pervert.” He stood up and grabbed his papers, “Is it anything interesting at least?” Armin walked by faster, Zad pulled on his ponytail, looked him up and down, “Like those legs, kitty-kat.” Armin stopped in the door way, turning his head around, and he hissed at him. Zad smiled like the devil, the words were sensual, somewhat like Erwin’s when they were alone and it was never more apparent who Erwin inherited his bedside manner from than now. He purred, “Pretty kitty.” He winked at him to top it off and Armin felt his cheeks flush with warmth as he left but he’d never admit that.

Armin didn’t like to admit just how much things got away with him.

Zad went and told Erwin that his husband was up to something sneaky. Armin had thought he might. Armin didn’t care if he did or not. He had a lead to follow up on and he needed a shower before heading into work. The others would be getting up shorly to build on the house and today he appointments about specific pieces. He didn’t notice Erwin come inside and look through his papers. He sighed at his husband’s luck but then again he couldn’t do much with what he had. Erwin felt like he’d sealed all the edges of box these secrets were inside and he was also slightly turned on that Armin was really going against his wishes thinking he could outsmart him. He left the papers and went to Levi’s room where Eren had already gone downstairs to make breakfast and he climbed inside of the covers with Levi cuddling him only to be jabbed abruptly in the side with his elbow, “Fuck off with your homo self, Erwin.” Levi scowled, stretching his sore muscles. Erwin pouted, “Don’t be cruel Levi.” Levi yawned and looked up at the ceiling. His face was the picture of disgust, “I gotta shit.” He rolled out of the bed to head to the bathroom and Erwin sighed, “Love you, too.” Levi scowled more, “I never said I loved you.”

*****************

Armin got inside of the car, coffee in his hand, Eren made him lunch and his breakfast sat in pieces around him in the middle consol and his lap. He turned the radio on and then immediately switched it to his phone where he opened his Spotify app. He really lived a simple life, a simple routine. He liked things simple. If they were simple, then he could master them and manage them. He ate his eggs first. Eren had rolled them like tiny burritos because he knew that Armin had a particular way of eating his breakfast. They were rolled inside of piece of toast he’d folded over making a burrito. He then ate his bacon, strip by strip, small bite by small bite, he drank some coffee, French vanilla and a brand that Levi liked, his tumblr was a gift from Erwin and it had “Barca through” on it and referenced his love of Hannibal Barca, something that only Erwin really knew and understood. He had his fruit in a cup and he picked pieces of it out delicately and then used the fork for larger pieces. He listened to Tchaikovsky. He was going to fuck Erwin’s world up.

Armin couldn’t stop the grin as he pulled up to his shop from overtaking his face.

************

Zackely had a failed marriage. His name was also apparently spelled _Zackly_ and he’d had it changed. Why? Another fucking mystery. He had a failed marriage and that meant he had an ex wife and ex wives were also the carrier’s of secrets. Her name was Rico and no one really knew why she left him but there was something to it. Something unsavory about Zackly was right before him if only he pushed a bit further into it. Maybe this was wrong. Maybe he was doing this as a way of distracting himself from all of the other shit going on? Duh, it tots was. But, it was also helping because he knew he had to have multiple things going on at once in order to focus and un-focus on all the information he gathered and let it all sort itself out. Armin’s mind was like the internet. It had a beginning and an end but it was too massive to undersand.

So, Gabriel and Zackly were close and he was his vice president up until his murder. Zackly didn’t have anything personally to do with Abulafia but it seems they got into a fist fight at the president’s mansion which Gabe never lived in but allowed it to be used by honors students and internationals, _that was nice,_ and after that Abulafia and he had a good relationship. Weird. It seems that Rico and he split seemingly recently. Just the year before Armin and Eren started at Maria. Zackly filed the papers but it was amicable and the assets were settled by them.

Armin wiped the glass counter down and enjoyed the silence and empty staged shop. He turned on the lights inside and it was magical. It was so quiet it began to become a bit strained and the thoughts in his head were too loud. So he turned on his laptop he brought with him for basic book keeping but mostly for music and long slide shows of him and his loves. He had the store wired for surround sound, stayed late countless nights and learned how to do it himself with books from the university. Marco had lent him a copy of Golda Meir’s memoir and he read it alongside _The Song of Achilles_. They were in his bag along with a few legal documents about Erwin’s will and oddly enough his own. He turned on his Swedish indie playlist and closed his eyes breathing in the smell of bleach and soft pine. 

_Today, is going to be a good day. I am fine. I am happy. I am safe. I am loved. I am strong. I can do it._ He hoped he could do it.

Customers came and went and his appointments were now back to back. That was nice, he made a sell almost every time and when he didn’t he knew why. He had one woman buy a [bed](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/c7/4f/48/c74f487e2f3b42c5ef94074f1950749f.jpg) he loved, a man buy a [retro cocktail cabinet](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/aa/37/0a/aa370a839e6433b446e05eecb8599a52.jpg) for his daughter, another couple purchased an entire [display](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/42/6c/9c/426c9cdd3603a3db3d026c58cc9f91bb.jpg) cabinet with all of the pieces and he made a killing off the collection inside. In fact, he was making cash hand over fist and he didn’t understand why. He was getting tired from all this, however. He really wasn’t into all this talking. He was an introvert and this was starting to wear on him because of all of tense moments negotiating prices not to mention, no one really does this well when they first open and what if they were sent by Erwin? What if he wasn’t that good? 

_You are good. You are smart. You are doing fine. You are independent. You are loved._

Armin opened his lunch box and peered inside. He was feeling out of place today, his [clothes](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e5/b9/e3/e5b9e377118ac70a2a0c88cbf47d5f17.jpg) didn’t fit right which was a common occurrence. Maybe he dressed too dark? Maybe he was ugly? _I’M FINE_. His shoes were tighter than normal. _If Gabriel knew something about Zackly’s marriage he may have told Erwin. It seems he would have told him before he left for the marines or…oh he might have told him when he came back that one time after basic. That coincides with the divorce. What does she do as a job?_ Armin got on his phone and went inside the small kitchen that he had redesigned himself. Erwin of course made comments but Armin had asked that it be left up to him and Erwin had graciously left it to him. 

Now he was sitting at the [kitchen](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/2d/97/ac/2d97acf9d65d09d6af092b12e660cc8d.jpg) counter and eating his nice lunch while Hanji texted him about setting up a time perhaps that night for them to meet up and talk. He was enjoying the peace, the silence of solitude, as the gentle sounds of classical music now flooded the rooms. He looked over at the small corner that held his bills and other things specifically for the business and looked at the framed pictures of his wedding photos, Eren’s wedding photos, and then a few group ones including the now infamous Normandy beach shot. Dafna had called and asked if they’d be returning soon but Armin didn’t know when that would be possible. June would make his child two months old and could infants fly? Surely they could why was he so blonde sometimes? He deadpanned, rolling his eyes at himself, “God, you’re so dumb sometimes, Armin.”

Dafna had congratulated him and then David shortly afterwards. He had a few things ordered on behalf of Levi and he took out his calendar looking at the upcoming dates. He was going to a concert with Levi this weekend, then his birthday, David and Mikasa were leaving three days after that, then Erwin and Levi left for two weeks in November, Marco and Ilya were leaving the same day as Mikasa and David for Ukraine, Jean would be sad and he was thinking of going back home to work on final pieces and see his parents, Carla and Grisha wanted to throw them baby showers but they all had what they needed and thus asked only for them to visit for Christmas. It was strange, Christmas really didn’t mean much to them anymore and everyone was really just into Jewish High Holidays and Hannukah. Religion made Armin uncomfortable.

The Reform temple in town loomed over him every day he came by. Levi went enough for people to know him and Eren also went now. However, everyone would have rather gone to Montgomery to be with Rabbi Berkovitch but that was thirty minutes away and a very, very conservative orthodox temple. David was going to the Reform temple now a lot more and they were all considering making it _the_ temple where they would frequent and call home. Marco and Jean had come and liked it too. They’d stick with their church but they loved that Reform was so accepting of other faiths that they’d become frequently asked about icons when Levi came to service. Armin had been with Eren a few times but religion continued to keep him up and utterly upset him.

And why shouldn’t it? Everyone was losing their shit over it. Mikasa had it down just right. She was so sure that it was all just a figment of human psychology made up in the darkness of existence that she liked the cultural aspects of it but really didn’t need it for any type of guidance or moral validation. So, why they fuck couldn’t he shake it? Why couldn’t he just say _yeah it’s all made up_ and move on? Erwin was similar in his opinion but he would have to ask more about his thoughts to be sure. Erwin was changing lately, becoming more relaxed in his opinion and he was worried he was boring him and that’s why he was relaxing.

Did he want to raise his kids in a religion? He’d been personally victimized by one and he didn’t really like the idea of doing that to his kids. He kind of believed deep down that his kids would eventually just say “Vati, God isn’t real.” But then again why even go through with the pretense of it all? Why did he feel a sense of…what was the word? He felt a sense of….responsibility?

He forced himself to finish his food. He always got too lost in thought and then forgot. It made everyone upset. If they only knew the things going on in his head. If they only knew words and thoughts had fed him when his parents had not.

******************

His next client came in right after he unlocked the door from lunch. He had cleaned everything, put it back in its place, and was enjoying a coffee while looking out the French doors in the kitchen that Erwin had helped him hire a contractor for. Armin could do a lot but he didn’t fuck with structures. He wasn’t Eren. He didn’t have any qualms about saying he couldn’t do something. He heard her snort, “I like it. You really have a certain style, don’t you pipsqueak?” [Ymir](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/96/87/ab/9687abcb5804da4d14a716b42a3d21d1.jpg) stood in the doorway smirking and Armin smiled, “I suppose. What can I do for you Ymir?” Ymir pushed off the door way and walked over to the counter, “I need to see some rings. I’m going to ask Krista to marry me.”

Armin nodded and went out to the case. _Well, that’s interesting._ He called from the other room to her, “What do you have in mind or should I pick some?” Ymir shrugged despite the fact he couldn’t see her, “You better pick. I’m shit at things like this. I’d just as well wrap a thread around her finger.” Armin nodded and brought some rings inside, “So her family accepts this?” He knew they wouldn’t. He knew a lot of things.

Ymir scowled, “No, we’re going to elope. I’m just tired of not being married to her, honestly. She’s everything to me, she my Krista. She’s my little joy, my exact perfect match. She’s also got some amazing tits.” Armin chuckled despite being uncomfortable. He had his opinions, “Well, are you into traditional or maybe color?” Ymir blinked, “Color seems cool.” He shifted a few pieces backwards on the counter away from her, “Okay, price rang?” “About $4,000.” “Okay,” he pulled a few back, “So, square, pear, cushion,” “Armin I don’t know what any of those things are. I’m a tomboy lesbian. I’m just into pretty women and simple things. I have no idea what the actual names are for anything.” Ymir for once actually laughed and it was free and it was pretty. Armin liked her real laugh, “Ha, Eren’s like that. He always let me know the names of things.” Ymir smiled wider, “Exactly. I have Krista to tell me all about what type of silk this is or that. I just want to hold her, watch soccer, knit, and listen to Abba.” “You knit?” “Like a fiend.”

Ymir picked out a [ring](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/74/1d/aa/741daac04842f0b80c1afc532f33a7c5.jpg) and then Armin showed her around to [desk](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e8/a8/b8/e8a8b87efbdf6faf31113515ba61a51c.jpg) he’d found and thought she might like. She did and she bought it as well. Ymir was actually pretty pleasant once you knew what to expect from her. She was a cold person but her humor in the right situation was pretty great. But she was the bad kind of bitch. Not the strong empowered one but the mean streaked Regina George type that would eat you alive. But, he could still stomach her. Krista, however, made him want to puke. “Bye Armin, thank you.” She waved and left. He was happy to once again be alone. 

But then the little chime of the door let him know he had an unexpected walk in and he rushed to the front, “Hello!” He said a little too loudly due to shock. He couldn’t believe his luck. She had short blonde hair, petite glasses, plum colored lips, and her dress was smart and immaculate. “Hello, My name Rico Pixas. You’re Erwin Smith’s…husband? You’re married right?” Armin’s mouth twitched, he didn’t know how to handle this gift of God, ‘”Uh…I…” Rico sighed, “Listen, I’m not a people person. My husband Dot said “Erwin’s husband” had a shop. I just thought about how I don’t know “his husband’s” name when I walked right inside and that means I could just be asking someone random who will be offended. Help me out. I hate adulting.” Armin’s face lit up, “Ha! I’m not really into people myself and yes, I am his husband. My name is Armin.” He extended his hand but she didn’t take it, “I don’t like touching.” Armin nodded, “Fine with me. What brings you here today?” 

Rico sighed, “We just bought a house, my husband and I. And my husband is kind of a big deal. We always have to throw parties and I can do that but they’re so picky and they go through the house and look at how the rooms are _staged._ Like, what bullshit is that?” Armin suppressed a smile, “Sounds like some old southern bullshit to me.” She smirked, “Yeah, okay, so, you get it. Thank God someone else gets it. So Dot told me to come here and ask you to design our rooms in the house. I’m just here to look and see if you’ll sign on as our interior designed. We’ll work with you only and we’ve got a limitless budget, literally, just make it look so good I never have to touch it again.” 

Armin and Rico moved to the [couch](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/1c/96/5a/1c965a08b02f9a59258d54bb42f90f2a.jpg) and went through what he had in inventory. A lot of it she liked or said Dot would like. He was trying to find a way to ask about her ex husband when she brought him up, “I’m a divorcee, Darius Zackly is my ex-husband and when I lived with him in the President’s Mansion we threw parties but you know, you’re husband’s father decorated it and it was flawless.” Armin opened his mouth, “Actually, I really don’t mean to pry but why did,” her phone went off, “Hang on, it’s….” She opened the phone, “Hello?” Whoever it was started talking and she seemed to blanch a little, “I understand. Have a good day.” She hung up, “Sorry, what were you saying?” “Why did you and Zackly divorce?” She hummed for a short amount of time, finger tips tapping her knees, eyes shooting to the books on the wall, “Wanted kids. I didn’t.” She said it shortly and started flipping through the book again.

Armin knew when someone was lying to him.

****************

Erwin was sitting at the water table outside when his phone rang, sweat dripping from his face. Ilya and Maxim were polishing things for the finishings. David had the floor going in on the stairs. Levi was lifting the stove with Eren inside and the others were finishing lunch, “Hello?” He heard a deep chuckle, “Well, hello to you too Mister Rich Ass Mother Fucker.” Erwin smiled brightly, eyes crinkling at the edges in bashful delight, “What’s up Dot?” Dot Pixas knew Erwin through the military and he was the director of the marines ROTC program at the university. He was a nice guy, drank a lot, had a loose mouth, liked pretty women, and was just an old dirty man really. “I sent my wife down to your shop today.” Erwin’s blood ran cold, _Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck._ His voice betrayed nothing, “You did?” Slight upturn of the words made it sound like he was delighted. “Yeah, you runnin’ it or your husband? In fact, you know what? I’m pissed I missed the wedding. What’s he like, Erwin? Got a nice ass? You know I’m all about the ass. Heard he was a blond and you know I’m all about blond bombs with fine asses.” Erwin chuckled and made small talk for a few minutes, cursing his luck the entire time. “Dot, I am so sorry to have to let you go but I’m building a tiny house. Gotta get back to the heavy lifting.” Dot chuckled and he hung up. 

Erwin’s fingers dialed Rico’s personal cell number, “Rico, if you say one thing to Armin about….”

****************

Armin had one more trick up his sleeve. He made an appointment with Zackly himself and while it was risky it was worth it after Rico’s sudden lying. She’d been a totally open book before that call. _Who called her?_ He didn’t have time to think of it. Armin needed to discuss his return to school and work out his plans for his master’s. He had been behind almost a year but soon ate a semester up over the Summer and now he was doing the course work enough for two and had special permission to override his hours for more online classes. Currently the max was 18 hours a semester but he had a wopping 32. Zackly had been signing off on so much of shit for months and he had no idea why he would do such for a person he didn’t even know. School was his full time job but he liked it, he liked the academic stress. It made his mind feel elastic and not hard like it had when he was with Abulafia.

In order to keep his focus he had forgone any other type of mental stimulation outside of how to get up in the ranks and consolidate power for a long term plan. Simone had read to him when he asked but he hadn’t like to indulge much. It had made him sad, it made him miss reading for pleasure. Now he was back in the states, a year later, making things work just the way he wanted and things were working the way he had wanted but it wasn’t enough. He knew that something was looming on the horizon but every time he brought it up in therapy David would just smile and tell him it was nothing but guilt and fear left over. Armin thought he was right but he was never totally convinced.

Armin knew something horrible was going to happen.

**************

The mansion was white, colonial, large fountain in the front, green grass and circle driveway in the front. His email told him to just pull up and make himself at home. Zackly and he had never met but the man wrote him like an old friend. Hanji, Levi, and Erwin were the only ones who had ever been face to face with him on personal terms as far as he knew. He presided over the plagiarism trials and those were kept hush-hush. Maria had stricter laws about plagiarism that almost any other college in the nation. Zackly was considered no-nonsense and somewhat likeable. Levi said he was a pig. Armin was inclined to take what Levi said more to heart than others.

Armin entered the house and a man offered him a drink. Armin was definitely caught off guard by it all, servants in tuxes like some old Junior Club southern meeting. The women servers were all immaculate, slicked back hair in tight and high pony tails, manicured nails with French tips, long black eyes lashes, pale lids, pale cheeks, and varying shades of lipstick. They wore simple black cocktail dresses, all the same tulip shaped bottoms, three-quarter inch sleeved tops with boat necks. Each had a very delicate golden necklace with a small charm. Armin knew it was real gold after staring at so many different pieces in his own shop every day and he wondered where they got the money for them. 

The men were attractive, super attractive. Tuxes on despite the weather and each wore pin on their lapel in varying shapes and sizes, all delicate and no bigger than a quarter, like the women. Their bow ties were different shades like the girl’s lipsticks and everyone was rigid, precise, military, and Armin felt very, very out of place here. He felt so small he could crawl into the vase of flowers one girl was currently arranging. This was not his strong point no matter how much he might act like a confidant badass these days his anxiety was choking him. “Mr. Smith? Come this way to the parlor. Mr. Zackly said you’re a guest of honor. We don’t normally serve students, so no worries if it wasn’t what you were expecting. My name is clover.” Armin looked and saw a golden clover lapel pen. So, they did mean something.

The man speaking to him was very handsome, white straight teeth, dark skin like ebony glistening with sweat on the hot day. His voice was so pleasant and he was so friendly Armin wanted to arrange an angel date with him and Marco. Armin smiled a bit internally at the thought. He followed him into the _parlor_ and waited while sipping on strawberry and mint water. There were cakes and other things but he wasn’t interested. His anxiety shut him down when it came to food. “Mr. Armin Smith?” Zackly appeared in the doorway. He was wearing a white cotton long sleeved shirt and was currently removing gardening gloves covered in dirt. He had a khaki hat on that he took off and his blue wrangler jeans and work boots let Armin know he was southern man through and through. Clover dropped to his knees and opend his hands for Zackly to dispose of his hat in them. He never acknowledged the boy, “I am delighted to meet you.”

Zackly had a prescience that set Armin on the edge of his seat. It was looking into the mirror at something he didn’t even want to see in himself. He was polite, gentlemanly, and correct. But there was something about the way it worked in this place. There was something about the people. It was like it was all one big… _Oh, shit. This isn’t…is it?_ He took a long drink of his fancy water, condensation twinkling in the light of the white and beige room that looked like something Gabriel would have designed with its simplicity and comfort. Zad would have come into this room and wanted to paint the walls a ravishing red. _Is this where Erwin would want them to live when he took over?_ God, he hoped not. He liked their house. It was his and their’s and that was wonderful.

Zackly leaned back in his wicker chair, “So, I looked over your work, your transferred credits from high school, your current work load, and may I say that I do believe you’re one of the smartest men alive? I believe that the good lord must have cut you and Erwin from the same cloth.” There was a twinkle in his eye and he looked like he could absolutely eat him. Armin suppressed a shudder. “He writes books that are best sellers and you write essays that get professors their asses handed to ‘em by the big boys in their department because they don’t even write half as well as you.” Armin blushed at the flattery and was shocked that it was actually sincere. It seemed Zackly was here to woo Armin and woo him he was strangely. There was a danger here that set Armin’s senses on edge and there was a commanding presence this man had, a fatherly presence. Armin suddenly wanted to go home to Erwin. As if on cue, “Yes, I must apologize, I am simply trying to woo you and hopefully woo Erwin too. You two are most amiable and advantageous.” _Now, this is interesting. Why would he want to woo me? Why would he admit it? This is such a mystery._ Armin smiled coyly.

Zackly and Armin had a steady back and forth with a lot of laughs. It seemed that after this semester and spring semester he could start his master’s. Now, Zackly was pushing him to enter in a competitive program that would fast track him but he wanted more. Armin wanted to see where Zackly was trying to lead him, “That sounds fantastic but,” he gave him his best pouty lip, baby doll lashes, and wide innocent eyes, “I’d want to stay in Maria, though. If I became a professor it’d have to be a job within commuting distance because I won’t want to move.” Zackly patted his knee and Armin watched as a familiar look crossed his face. He wanted him but just in what way he didn’t know.

“Now, you’re absolutely right. Armin, I would not ever want to see you fall through the cracks of paper work and other professors. We need people like you here at Maria, to ensure that this continues to be a fine institution of learning. Now, I’d just have a contract drawn up. You see, I’m a fan of contracts and I have them made up for all sorts of things, big, small, what have you. I’d just have it drawn right up for your little signature and then signed sealed delivered, you’re ours.” Armin’s spin tingled and he realized that he was now in a cage with a beast, a hellish and dangerous beast. Zackly was a certain type of man, certainly a special type of man. He listened to the birds and noted the way the staff hovered around.

Zackly was now drinking a glass lemonade and it was such a pretty shade of gold it reminded him of Erwin’s hair. Armin had stuck to his water but he had reluctantly ate one of the macaroons Zackly had insisted he try. He was feeling a bit off. “And, I don’t think this will come as much of a shock to you as to maybe some others, but the board and I have our eyes strictly upon your husband as the next vice president and you all know that’s just a carousal ride to where he really wants to be. He’d just need to ride it a few times and then get off and step on over to my seat as the conductor when I’m ready to head home.” Zackly like carnival metaphors for Maria. Zackly just plain liked metaphors. Zackly sounded like Frank Underwood and it fascinated him.

Armin was still trying to figure him out but Levi’s monotone voice echoed, “He’s a pig.” _But, how?_ Armin was asked to take a walk in the garden and he agreed. He stood up, legs buckling slightly and head spinning. Zackly didn’t seemed concerned. They walked through the house leisurely as Zackly prattled away and Armin noticed that the staff were still awkwardly controlled but their eyes were wide, so endless in their emotion, they screamed at him and he felt even more uneasy, Armin panicked slightly. _Why is he leading me outside?_ This meeting was over. “Zackly?” 

Zackly smiled, he patted his arm that he currently had under his own leading him out onto the gallery floor, “Oh, hold on, I know I’ve spoken the entire time but look at these flowers!” Armin nodded swallowing his words as Zackly walked them over to a flower bed of imported beauties, Armin’s head spun and then he lost himself in some sort of haze where he didn’t really care what was happening to him. When he somewhat regained his senses he was on Zackly’s lap, his hand on his leg, pushing up his tights, fingertips under his shorts, “Zackly, can I be honest with you?” Zackly smiled, he had walked them over to a gazebo where they now sat, Armin slightly leaned into him and sluggish, he seemed to eat Armin up with his eyes, his voice laced with enthusiasm, sincerity, and something more, “Of course, I’d rather you always be.” Armin gathered all of his courage, fought the haze enveloping him, “Erwin is a man with many talents. One of those is finding out secrets and of course, with those secrets he hedges bets.” 

Zackly’s lips made a thin line, his body changed, “But, you are the same, are you not?” Armin nodded, _Oh, I smell fear, Darius. I smell fear and I taste blood._ “Yes. Because of that I’d like to know what my husband and you have going on. It’s hard for me to believe much of what he gets is offered to others.” Zackly wiped his brow, “Well, it’s nothing. I just like him.” Armin bit his lip, “Something happened when Gabriel was alive and it involved Erwin and your wife. Afterwards, I’m sure you and Erwin had some sort of _exchange?_ ” He played his hand and hoped it worked.

And it did. A little too well. Zackly was white as a sheet and spinning, “Now, now, that was before you and nothing like that has happened since then. I’m just holding this place for him. There isn’t really much too it. I am just this interim president till Erwin goes through the proper channels but it’s all for show. I let in his friend and then I had your classes changed because I just wanted to keep my end up. I don’t abuse them, IT, I don’t abuse IT.” Zackly pulled him back to the house, Armin’s legs jello like, “I’m so sorry. Please, keep it to yourself. I am in your corner, Armin.”

Armin was drug back to the parlor where his things were and a staff member was waiting with them already packed and read, “Why did you let Abulafia do what he did?” Armin planted his heels in the rug and Zackly gave him a strangely amused look, “I owed Gabriel. I let him alone and held on to some documents that I turned over to Erwin when he came to me and asked for them. But, Armin, I know a little about all you had to do with Abulafia so let me just say as one man with _particular interests_ to another man with _particular interests_ , if you and Erwin would like to come to me, like he did before, then come. We can do what we want here, with whomever we want. It’s safe here. It’s controlled. Now, I’ll have all of the paper work filed and Apple,” a woman walked in, “will escort you out, _give you my personal number_ for play or whatever you want, and a packet with a rough outline and a few forms you can fill out when you have your child and I’ll file it so you can take time off. It’s been a wonderful day. Do drink some of this lemonade.” Armin was speechless as he followed her out, had the packet given to him and a to-go lemonade and was sent on his way.

He took a sip of the lemonade and made a pleasantly surprised face, _What the fuck just happened?_ He kept driving and then he felt a lot better. He felt more like himself. He felt, _He fucking drugged me._

****************

Levi got out of his car and ran inside of the middle eastern market to grab things for dinner that night. He heard that Hanji was coming over and he knew what they wanted to talk to them about them and the future and school and _shit fuck fuck fuck shit shitty shit shit. Fucking fucked up feelings and fucking shitty love and fuck._ He was grabbing things when his phone went off. Eren was calling him, “Hey, Neshama, can you do me a favor?” Levi sighed and stared at the large bags of rice he had to buy because Eren ate so fucking much, “What?” Eren cringed and he could feel it. _Ughhhh you’re so sensitive! Fuck, I love you._ “Brat, what?” Eren hummed, “Can I foster a puppy?” Levi heaved an exasperated sigh, “Absolutely not and that’s not a favor that is a request. Learn the fucking difference.” “The favor was can you pick up a cake I bought at Jennie’s?” 

Jennie’s was a small bakery they all liked and Eren had called in the order yesterday but they’d forgotten and she held it for them, “Yeah. They have a drive through window so I can do it.” “Yeah, thank god, we all smell and you smell the most.” Levi smirked, “Fuck off, brat. I love you. Bye.” He hung up while Eren started to whine or make some sort of Eren noise he’d come to expect. He brought it all to the counter, pounds of food for the love of his life and family, and of course the machine was down for cards. He didn’t have enough cash, he had to write a check, _he had to remember how to write a check_ , and then they couldn’t take checks and the man just took a trade for the rest of the worth that his cash didn’t cover. Levi felt like he was back in some place in Israel or on the Kibbutz.

He walked out to his car and loaded it up. He did smell, he felt icky, he was dying to get home and wash this filth off. He walked to his door and heard a tiny peep. It was so faint he ignored it and then again and again. He let his hand fall from the handle and looked down. In the middle of this huge parking lot by his car that was parked away from the other cars because even in parking lots it was clear Levi hated everyone was a tiny severely malnourished [kitten](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ff/db/0b/ffdb0b1dff588cb1d6af26bb0e7e8b26.jpg) and it was looking up at him, peeping, and waiting and hoping and looking like “please pick me up” and Levi cursed everything because it probably had a disease and _god his husband could treat it_ but he should take it to a shelter _but they killed animals_ and oh god why was it so small and cute _fuck it all._

***************

Levi pulled up to Jennie’s at the drive through with the tiny kitten on his chest purring and chewing on his V-neck collar. Jennie merely laughed knowing that Eren would have a field day with this when he got home. Levi mean mugged her the entire time daring her to speak. He took the cake and drove off with his little buddy telling him all about it with its consistent mewling. “You sound like Eren when he wants something.” Levi frowned as it mewed again, “God, he’s going to be so happy.”

When he walked inside with the kitten inside of his shirt, head peeping out of the collar Eren was cleaning the kitchen after taking a shower and he dropped the pans in his hand. Levi gave him a serious look, “Here, make sure it isn’t carrying the plague.” Eren took the kitten and squealed as Levi went to take a shower. “TODA NESHAMA!” The kitten mewed and Eren danced around the kitchen like a Disney princess and instagramed the latest edition to the family.


	122. Sex and Secrets, Feelings and Questions

When Armin pulled up to the house he was still confused about it all but he knew that something had gone down with Erwin and he had some assumptions that he wouldn’t find them very seemly. He got out of the car, legs still shaky, head blurry, hot, and went inside heading for their room. As he walked down the hallway, Levi emerged, shirtless, wet from a shower, he dried his hair with a towel as he stared at Armin intently. Armin expected to walk on by when he pinned him against the wall suddenly, knocking the breath out of him. Zadkiel, who had been speaking to Levi, emerged from the room hearing the sudden loud thud, “Why are you drugged?” Levi’s voice cut into him and his hand gripped his jaw. Zad appeared beside him looking at Armin intently. Levi’s anger bubbled over and his voice was deadly, “Who drugged you?” Zadkiel’s face became a picture of concern, horror, and suspicion, “Wait, who drugged you _and_ gave you an antidote? Look at his pupils.” Levi leaned closer, “What the fuck happened, Armin? Talk.”

Armin let out a whimper when Levi’s grip tightened and Erwin appeared, “Armin!? What’s going on here, Levi?” Levi turned his head, voice disgusted, “He’s been drugged.” Erwin pushed past and Zad looked angry, “Armin, you’ve been…roofied or something. Date rape drug for sure.” Erwin’s body changed and he knew what had happened. “Did you go looking in places your shouldn’t?” Armin nodded, “I want to speak with you in private. Seems like you’ve got some secrets to spill.” Erwin’s eyebrows raised and Levi and Zad’s collective worry and angry was only heightened. Levi tch’ed, “You need eat and then sleep, not fuck around with Erwin and push your body towards exertion.” Zad nodded in agreement, hand reaching out to move some of Armin’s hair out of his eyes, all three men were like wolves ready to take revenge on someone if he’d only just tell them who, “What trouble did you get yourself into today, pussy cat?” Zad’s purr fell into the blossoming heat of the moment as they waited.

Armin and Erwin stared at each other and Zad knew something was up between them that wouldn’t let Armin speak in the hall to him _or_ Levi, “You two don’t know how to marriage. This is not healthy. Your games, mysteries, all of it is too much. Not kosher.” Levi nodded, short _Ha_ of gallow’s humor escaping him as he looked at his shefeleh, his mami. _What happened to you, mami? I’ll eat their heart._ Erwin snorted, hands taking Armin and ripping him away from Levi, he didn’t need Levi acting any more the part of jealous lover in front of him, he’d incur his wrath if not careful, “We’re treif and we’re fine with it.” He pulled Armin down to their room. Levi punched the wall and took off down the hall towards the stairs. Zadkiel stared, watching then enter their room. He tch’ed following behind Levi, “This is not how a proper marriage is. I may not be proper but I know how to marriage. I never married because I am not a proper man but had I married I would have marriaged correctly.” Zad found himself wishing that Hannes and David were here because they would back him up. “Fuck.”

Inside of Erwin and Armin’s room a war of flesh and intellect began. “You just had to fucking push it.” Erwin threw Armin against the wall, “You’re one to talk, Erwin. How could you befriend a beast like him?” Armin’s lips covered his sucking him in, hands scrambling for purchase as he bit sharply on Erwin’s lips. They both tasted blood. He pulled back, “He wants me to play.” Armin’s voice was like sugary sweet poison and Erwin growled. He pulled at the hem of Erwin’s shirt ripping it over his shoulders as his hands left impressions and scratches on his chest and back. Erwin lifted him up suddenly, slamming his back into the wall, “You little snoop, lucky little nymph. I bet he does, I bet he wants you to come on back over and over again now that he’s had a taste.” Armin grinned. Laughing lowly, “You thought you’re shit was so air tight. You fucking underestimated me.” Erwin’s sneer was lethal, “It is air tight, you little slut.”

Armin was thrown on the bed, shoes ripped off, shorts discarded like tissue paper in a gift bag, “I bet you didn’t get shit out of her.” Erwin growled the words as his hands found their way to Armin’s arms and legs splaying him and pinning him down as he leaned back looking down at him menacingly. Armin leaned up when he let go of his arms, hands gripped the sides of Erwin’s face, “You called her just in time.” He smiled triumphantly and Armin cut him down, “I didn’t even need her. I just called Zackly. He was much more helpful.” Erwin growled, hands fisting in Armin’s hair, he ripped Armin’s head up painfully, staring into his eyes, boring into them with heat, his lips trembled, he was holding back but just barely. His deep, gravel grey and coal black voice was like smoky billows of hell fire when it reached Armin’s ears, “Did he touch you?” Armin’s breath hitched, it felt like the oxygen was burning up in his lungs as he gasped out at a hard tug on his roots, neck strained to the maximum. “Yeah,” it was breathy, hot, baby doll sweet and coy, “his hand was on my thigh, pushed my tights up, and then it moved up into my shorts where his fingertip caressed me,” his words died as Erwin threw him back up the bed towards the headboard, “You fucking naïve little boy, you didn’t even know the danger that you were facing. I told you to never go to him, never go alone, never speak to him, cc me on emails, you can’t even follow orders.”

Armin squirmed as he was fully unclothed by Erwin’s rough hands as he reprimanded him. He smelled like sweat, sun, and raw sex. He remembered that Erwin told him to not do all of those things and now he felt firsthand the hot white rage that was flowing out of Erwin due to his insubordination. Erwin was so enraged there were no words, he was so rough with him it made his bones shake, “Little boys that act like dumb little sluts get treated like dumb little sluts.” He spread Armin’s legs wider, fingers were thrusted inside of him, stretching him, he barely prepared him before slamming inside. Erwin put one hand on the head board, the other on Armin’s throat as he pounded into him, marking him, covering him with himself, “Did you see his playthings? Those men in tuxes and women in dresses? He touches them but not like he’d touch you. Is that what you want? Of course it is, you want to be special, you always wanna be so fucking special.” Erwin’s voice was aroused and ragged as he panted fucking Armin into the mattress.

Armin’s throat burned, he teetered the entire time blissfully on the edge of pain and pleasure. “Did he make you sign a contract? Were you stupid enough to sign one? Are you his new little cock slut?” Armin found it hilarious how much information he was getting confirmed while Erwin thought he was punishing him. “I bet you knew it was dangerous. You like shit like that. You like hurting yourself and being hurt. When he touched you, did you like it? Did you like that old man’s nasty hands on your nubile thighs, fingers inside of your little shorts? You’re such a dirty cock slut.” Armin keened, he was on the edge and Erwin was only growing angrier. “I guess you wanted an even older daddy.” Armin’s skin burned at the thought, “I’ll have to show you why _I’m_ your daddy and you’re _my_ baby.” Erwin’s grip tightened and Armin was coming, choking, blacking out, soaring out of his body like some sort of trippy ride. His voice was trapped in his crushed throat but Erwin’s moans, his groans of climax, the way he shuddered as he slammed as deep as he could, spilling his seed in Armin as much as his could, was a send off into perfect oblivion for him.

******************

Armin eventually came to his senses, sweat still damp on his stomach, his chest heaved, throat bruised, and he wheezed when he spoke, “So, Zackly’s staff are all contracted sex slaves?” Erwin cleared his throat, “It’s a price they pay for luxury and opportunity. They get free tuition, get monetary help, references to better jobs. Contracts last anywhere from 12 months to 24 months. Shortest was 6 months and it was a girl from Brazil. I actually think he fell in love with her. Her name was….uh…pineapple or something. Don’t remember the real name. The girls and boys don’t have names, they have nicknames. The thing is, they want it. They wanted it. They’re all adults, they entered into it willingly but they all eventually find out that Zackly is much more sadistic than he first lets on. He has varying degrees to his play and if they want to opt out they can. They just forfeit the perks and have to move out.” 

Armin moved his head to the side to look at Erwin who was also laying on his back next to him out of breath, “I never wanted you two to meet because he likes pretty things. I knew he’d like you. He does, because he drugged you. He thought that your showing up equaled consent.” “WHY?” “Because he’s like that. A pretty boy emails for a meeting and if he likes them he drugs them, shows the around, get’s them happy and takes pictures of them to keep for her personal use. He uses them as blackmail. He makes them get hazy and asks them to play. It’s only gotten worse since the divorce.”

“My father knew that he was a ticking time bomb. Darius, however, has a long military career behind him, he’s got money, lots of it, power in the underground world of politics and he’s a downright bulldog when it comes to law. I learned everything I know about legalities from him and he has a law degree, Ph.D in psychology, and a master’s that focused heavily on PTSD for soldiers. Rico fell for him in the military and they were married and happy for a long time. But, she hated him at the end because he was so cruel to her in bed and messy when it came to hiding his particular interests from her. She’d rather him step out and her not see it.”

“Dad told me all about him and how to find him so when I got back I would follow him and keep tabs myself. If you’re going to hunt a lawyer you better have a lot of evidence to pin him. He frequents clubs, dungeons, and what not. He’s into some sick shit but he doesn’t indulge unless there is a contract. He’s super into legislation. That’s his kink, law. He likes verbal challenges, like to psychologically dissect his lovers with games and he likes to have them kneel before the cold edge of the law.” Armin cleared his throat but it was painful, “Why do you help him? He’s horrible. I mean, he’d dangerously despicable.” 

Erwin sighed and reached for a cigarette in his side table’s top drawer. He lit it, “Because I can use him. I use him and just keep on using him. He’s also pretty harmless in the bigger scheme of things. I learned a lot from him and I guess I kind of have this fondness for him. I respect his intellect and the tricks he shows me for law. Like I said, he sticks to his staff and Rico is sworn to secrecy due to her settlement from the divorce. She’s no angel either and her ending up with Dot is a scandal itself. Maybe I’m soft on the old man because I see pieces of me in him. I think you can say you saw things in him that you would hate to admit you see in yourself. It’s okay. Reflection like that is healthy and hopefully we’ll keep each other straight. I think he went so far off the deep end because Rico wasn’t for him, truly.” 

Armin was curious about what Zackly had alluded to beforehand, “You two, did you ever?” Erwin exhaled white smoke through his nose, “Once. I was curious what it would be like. I started my blackmail tour at his dungeon and that’s where I decided to offer myself up to him. It made his life, really it did. He wants nothing more than for me to enter into a contract with him, always has and my father warned me against it. He’s coveted me since I was young. Now things are even more interesting and appealing to him. When I married you he had you pulled up and learned even more about you than ever before. You weren’t a boyfriend, you were a life partner. Plus, I know he’d want you two or by yourself because you’re so his type. We’d be his trophies in the underground he operates in. Secret sex cults that covet well built and handsome people. He set his eyes on Levi and talked about it with me once and well, I don’t share.”

That was clear from the recent possessive display that now let Armin know what to expect if he ever strayed again from Erwin’s few and simple rules, “I fucked him up over Levi. I showed up in the red room one night. He was drinking, had just flayed a man on a cross. I wanted to know what it would be like to be roughed up more than I’d ever had been before,” “Why?” “I wanted to feel alive. Dad was dead, Levi was with Hanji all the time, I was nothing and I wanted to feel like I was something. We fucked and it was an experience. Afterwards we were drinking beers at the bar, dark beer from Germany that I love. Spaten is the brand. And then he thought he had the upper hand, started getting lippy and blurted out all the ways he wanted to display Levi on that cross, that little Jew he called him, and I had to put him in his place.”

Erwin’s hands twitched, “Three ribs, broken nose, and hairline fracture to his shoulder blade among other wounds later I was walking out with his blood on my shoes and a trophy photograph because it’s just more blackmail. I’m a horrible person, Armin. I am fucking cold blooded and it scares me sometimes the cruelty I posses. Levi is off limits and he knows that mow and hasn’t fucked with him since. With Zackly, you gotta mark your territory.”

Erwin turned more towards Armin and looked at him seriously, “But, Armin, if he has pictures of you from when he drugged you,” he paused again, “I’ll kill him.” Armin moved closer, face serious, “I didn’t pass out there. I got out before that by making him uncomfortable and he gave me the special lemonade so I guess I wouldn’t fucking run off the road. Shit, I was freaking out driving here. But, he made sure to tell me to call if I ever wanted to play. I think he thinks I’d come to him like you did for just the experience and chose to stay. Nope, he’s yucky.”

Armin paused and then he got tickled at the thought of Erwin sleeping with Zackly, “I can’t believe you slept with him, that old man. Ewwww.” Erwin smirked, “Curious minds can get themselves into much trouble.” He rolled over and kissed Armin, “You’re mine. All mine.” Armin kissed him back and Erwin started to fill him in on all the details of Zackly and his past. Armin was absolutely enraptured by it all, “Erwin, this is better than a soap.” Erwin smiled, “True. Promise me you’ll never go there again without me. Never call him, email him, nothing. Let me take care of it. I’m serious, baby. It’s forbidden.” “But, daddy I think you should,” Erwin cut him off sternly, “Baby doesn’t tell daddy what to do.” 

“Baby doesn’t tell daddy what to do. Got it. I won’t ever do that again or in the future.” Armin echoed and Erwin smiled, “Levi is cooking tonight but after dinner you need to call it a night. You’re going to have to sleep it off tonight and tomorrow.” Armin nodded, “Love you. Also, I won.” Erwin rolled his eyes, “Whatever you say, my love.”

*******************

They were all sitting at the table, Ilya on his phone, Maxim next to him frowning, Erwin and Armin were in the corner where Zad stared and inquired about the choke marks and drugging to which he found the story behind it that Armin quietly told him to be hilarious, Eren was humming and setting the plates out, Mike sat next to Marco who was currently pulling grey hairs from Jean’s head and making fun of him for it, while Hanji sat on the end with Mila and Levi served the food before sitting down by pulling up a chair so he could sit by Mila. They were all a happy family eating good food.

At the end of the meal, Hanji and Mike invited them all to a special party they were having the day before Mikasa and David left for Israel. David was currently in Atlanta with Mikasa preparing their visas and working on some of Mikasa’s new collection ideas. She was very popular but currently the folks at Schwarz and Weiss were circling her like sharks in the water. Armin and Erwin had already looked into the possible implications and were preparing back up plans so that Mikasa would be protected.

They gleefully told everyone that Mike had finished his thesis and defended it perfectly. He was also getting a promotion at the university. Everyone was happy for them. Hanji leaned over the table as the ate dessert, “Okay, so I’m going to cut to the chase.” Everyone prepared themselves, “I’ve been thinking a lot about schooling for Mila and I was talking with Eren about what he was going to do for his child and I know you two must have had similar thoughts,” Erwin and Armin looked at each other _nope, not one thought fuck they sucked as parents_ and Hanji continued, “And then it hit me, what if I enroll Mila in The Smith Private School of Fine Arts?” They leaned forward and Levi took their hand under the table hoping that this went well. 

Silence, utter silence and then Armin’s mind and Erwin’s mind caught up, Armin spoke first, “Oh, wait. You want us to get certified and home school the kids? Ours and everyone else’s? I guess that would also be coupled with,” Erwin continued, “Jewish day school is very flexible. That would allow for socialization.” Eren inhaled in excitement that Jewish day school was on the table, oy this was exciting, “But you’re not Jewish, so you’ll probably test out kindergarten to see how it goes.” “You feel pressure because Mila is older.” “I think that homeschooling is perfect for our kids because I can,” “Keep them at the shop with you like we,” “yes,” “and then,” “on those days take them to the temple,” “and the others stay at the house,” “we can hire someone for the other days,” “maybe Maxim or Ilya since they are here and they,” Maxim and Ilya put their forks down and Maxim’s cheeks felt hot, “I think that is a good idea if they remain here with us,” “we can spend so much time with the kids, all of them, and,” “it’s like building a tribe,” “can only be positive,” “yes,” “then,” “I see,” “we,” “no, we can,” “ah yes,” “and” “no” “yes” “mmmmmm…”

Levi sighed, he was pleasantly excited that it had ended this way, “The brains have spoken and I think it’s a yes.” Hanji’s face lit up in delight. They slammed their hands on the table, “REALLY?!” Armin and Erwin stopped their mental conversation suddenly very tired, “Yes, this is most agreeable.” He smiled and Zadkiel, who had been eating at the counter, looked him over, “You’re about to fall asleep.” Armin stood up, “Yes, I know.” He turned to Hanji, “I think it’s great but I have to go to bed now. We can talk about in a group text or me and Erwin can stop by and see you two before your party. I’m about to pass out.” 

Erwin finished his wine, “I’ll tuck you in.” Mike snickered, “Better come back so I can ask you about all that was going unsaid. I’m not as sold as everyone else.” Zadkiel stopped Erwin, “No, I’ll take him up. You talk with Mike. I’m sure it’s about religious obligations and children upbringin’.” Zadkiel cast an interesting glance in Levi’s direction. It’s like he knew what Levi had warned Hanji about. 

Levi’s shoulder’s tensed, eyes were tight, he shied away from the table and Maxim noticed. He wanted to ask why but he could almost figure it out on his own so he didn’t. He’d just have to sort the information out. Perhaps, he could get Levi along, “I’m going for a walk.” Maxim got up and Levi watched him. His face curious, “Where?” Maxim motioned towards the back, “Just in the woods around the house.” Levi stood up, “I’ll come with you.” But that was finished before it started, “NOOOOO” Mila whined and Levi and everyone else was just as shocked as Hanji and Mike, “Levi! Up! UP!” 

Hanji sqeauled, “OH HER FIRST WORDS THAT AREN’T NAMES OH MY GOD MIKE FILM IT FILM THE SHIT OUTTA THIS!” Mike had his phone out and Maxim smiled, adoring the picture before him, “Another time.” Levi nodded in understanding and thanks, smiling while he picked her up and put her down making sure they caught it all on camera. Ilya’s phone buzzed but his eyes were on Maxim, they had not spoke of that day at the lake. Instead they’d walked around, pretending it was a normal fight and not something symbolic. Maxim noticed Ilya would fall asleep in Jean’s studio more and more often and when he came to bed he gave Maxim his space, the space he thought he wanted. Maxim didn’t know if he wanted it and being reunited with him after three years. Maxim felt himself grow anxious under his gaze before Eren walked between them and allowed him his escape. 

Maxim left out the back and then twenty minutes later Ilya out the front. Marco and Jean took bets if anything important would happen to end their tension. Eren slipped money in as well.

*******************

**_Some time later…_ **

Maxim was walking through the side yard from the forest when he saw the light on in the [tiny house](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/2b/3d/bd/2b3dbd4a81332a024ee3a5b56e07c4ef.jpg). He walked over looking at the large porch and the wall made of mirrors when he saw quite a steamy scene. Ilya had the Sasha girl up on the counter, panties on the floor and he was devouring her like some sort of starving man. His hands roamed her body, hands pushing up the sides of her shirt before she leaned back and let him take it off of her. She was smiling and laughed a little as he took his own off. Her legs were open, spread around him slightly, but the way he widened them suddenly, harshly, and took his other hand behind her to pull her closer, putting it on her lower back, fingers slipping down to grab the flesh if her mounds, sliding her on the chrome counter top made Maxim' cheeks blush.

Her head fell back, a smile on her face as she giggled again slightly. He leaned in, moving his face down as she moved her’s upwards for the lips to meet and it was sloppy, hot, panting as he slid inside of her and she made such a heavenly noise that Maxim’s spine tingled and mouth watered. Ilya moved quickly, her hips moving to meet him each time. He watched as his hands cupped her breasts, how he turned his body slightly, curving his cock as it slid in and out. Maxim couldn’t see it in such clear detail, but he knew that’s what it was and for the first time he realized that he was watching Ilya in such an intimate moment. 

He saw his muscles contract and release as he picked her up off the counter, her legs tightening around his waist as he held her close and pounded into her. Maxim traced the lines of his legs and admired their shape. When he turned, he felt his face grow hotter, his mouth suddenly dry and then watering again at seeing his firm cheeks and then the fine chisled back that her nails were now leaving thin red and pink lines in as she grabbed at the skin. She rested her head on his shoulder, moaning loudly while he grunted and groaned. He turned around, he was smirking devilishly while her toes curled and eyes closed. She looked like she was enjoying it and Maxim felt his stomach fill with a feeling he was used to but not in this sense. 

His heart pounded as Ilya laid her back on the lip of the counter to finish. His hands, one on her back and the other snaking between them to her clit where he rubbed and rubbed until she started making more expressive and varied noises of pleasure. He watched her, his gaze intense, and she pried her eyes open long enough for another blissful grin when he shuddered, knees going weak a bit. He laughed breathily, letting out a low moan that made Maxim’s chest feel painfully alive. She must have clenched around him, she looked like she’d won a game and soon they were seizing up, hands in each other’s hand, mouths parted and breathing the same humid air, they were coming undone and Maxim couldn’t take his eyes off the slackness in Ilya’s jaw or the way his mouth was open.

They leaned against each other, laughing as they pulled apart sticky and sweaty. He pulled his pants on, gathering her panties and shorts. She smiled, taking them and pulled her shirt on, “I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t wear a bra.” She said amusedly as she stood. He smirked, “That was your plan the whole time.” She leand up kissing him chastely, “I gotta go. Thanks for the…fun time.” He grinned, ducking his head down shyly and she wanted to pinch his cheeks, “Tomorrow?” He shrugged, “We will need to finish this house.” She burst into laughter, “Better clean the counter.”

Maxim had left while they put on their clothes. He’d gone back to the room, tiptoeing past the row of doors of sleeping, happy, couples. He had to agree, he’d come to feel more a part of them over these three weeks building this house, planning, and getting to know them all one by one and their personalities. Now, he felt once again, like he was missing something, like he’d lost something or been denied something. He was always denying himself pleasures and when he indulged it was in true mafiso fashion. Sex with paid whores, rough, decadent, he was the master. But, something was off with him. Was he really jealous that Ilya had someone to fuck like that? No, maybe he was jealous that he’d never fucked anyone like that. But, then there was something else, something that had him remembering the feelings in his chest and stomach: fascination, longing, heightened arousal, aching, and jealousy among others.

He had stood there, stuck, mouth embarrassingly open, drooling like a fool. He’d disgusted himself and after wiping the betraying saliva away he’d quickly made to leave, dealing with his own even more embarrassing sign of arousal as he trudged through the woods with determination. He didn’t understand what he was jealous of. In fact, that had to be a mistake because Maxim Aristov was jealous of no one. Sure, she was a cutie. She wasn’t near as ditzy or dense as some might think. She had good instincts, good reflexes, she was sweet but alert and never settled when it came to her surroundings. Mikasa didn’t seem the type to ever have a friend that was useless or not special in some important way and she was a huntress. But, was that really all that great? 

There were plenty of women in the tribes like this. Was that they appeal? She had pretty hair and her eyes were a unique shade. But,….she….she wasn’t even Jewish! He stewed, frustrated and pouty. Maybe he needed to talk to…

The door opened and he knew it was him from the sound of his walk. He’d know him in the darkness, in the light, in the forest, in the snow, in old cabins of their old home. He’d know Ilya Nabatov anywhere. He heard him walk to the bathroom, his clothes feel to the floor and then the hamper. He listened as he hummed some Jewish tune of their childhood and then he turned the water on to shower off the sex and that made Maxim’s nose scrunch up as he rolled over, same basic long sleeved black shirt and sleeper pants on as every other night. He wished that he wasn’t in such a shitty mood. He was trying to be a better person but it was so damn hard. It was so easy being intimidating, loud, murderous, and in charge. 

Ilya came to bed, white loose thin shirt with on that felt so soft Maxim had stolen it one another night himself. His black and white stripped boxers on made him look more like the Ilya he’d been in Ukraine. He had never been this warm or able to sleep without so many layers on in his life and every night he got to do it he felt just as good as the first time. He also had Maxim and Ilya was glad for that. He was glad they were together, that he selfishly got to be near him and share a bed with him. In fact, he was excited to go to Ukraine but was worried he’d be giving up precious time with Maxim that he couldn’t get back. He slid closer, noting that Maxim had changed sides of the bed. It was odd because Maxim was a stickler for routine. He reached out slowly, touching Maxim’s hair and he knew he had to play it just right.

Maxim loved his hair to be touched, to have fingers run through it softly. He liked to do it and slowly began, becoming more sure when Maxim sighed pushing back and arching his back a bit into him. He liked the soft smell of him, clean like honey suckle and vanilla. He moved closer than he’d dared these last few nights but Maxim didn’t pull away like he expected and it made his heart overjoyed. He picked a few strands up and smelled them. He always through Maxim had the best attributes of a girl and the best attributes of a boy. He also knew he’d shoot him in the leg or plunge his switchblade into him but not fatally wound him. 

Maxim shifted a few times before speaking, he was nervous and Ilya could feel it, “I like it here.” Maxim’s words were so quiet he almost missed them. Ilya thought about it, “I do, too….maybe we should stay?” “F-for a while?” “For a while I guess. Who knows, I may get shot in Ukraine or you might have no choice but to stay here?” Ilya chuckled. Maxim’s fear flared, “I-ilya…” He shushed him, “Just for a little while, Maxi. I know you’re very important in Russia and have lots to do.” 

He could feel Ilya smirking and he could feel him so close to him like when they were children. He remembered when they tried to give them separate beds. It hadn’t worked because the bed was needed by another family and Maxim had crawled into Ilya’s every night anyway. Ilya’s hands smoothed through his hair, Maxim voiced his deepest concerned, “Are you…invested here?” Ilya’s hands never faltered but his voice was different, “Go to sleep,…please.” It wasn’t what he wanted to hear. Maxim reached for his rosary, “No, leave it.” He reached over taking Maxim’s hand. Maxim’s breath hitched slightly, “You’re doing so well, zolotska. Please don’t do it. Just, be with me and go to sleep.” (my gold) Maxim’s stomach fluttered as he released the cross. He relished the fact that Ilya was now pressed against him and not pulling away. He was his best friend, how else was he supposed to feel?


	123. Crawl Away Prision Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of sex, some drugs, and rock and roll in this chapter. Sorry. Some readers may not like it or maybe you will idk. Bondage, S&M, you name it and some strange sexuality questions.

“So, how about a Halloween birthday?” Armin rolled over in the king sized bed, duvet around him, his head aching and throat dry and scratchy, “I’d like that. Can we go out like our first one? The one we celebrated your birthday on?” He twisted in the white sheets laying his head on Erwin’s thigh. Erwin was sitting up and reading. He’d stroked Armin’s hair, whispered proclamations of love to him, made promises, and asked him questions like what was his favorite movie for real and did he like frozen yogurt more than ice cream? “Armin, we can do anything you want.” Armin sighed, “I could want a lot of things.” Erwin only giggled, “Can we get things for the nursery?” Erwin smirked, “It’s finished?” Armin pouted, “I’m know but I really wanna keep getting stuff for it.” “How about we get a little statement something? You can look around online today while I finish up the house with the boys. I’m sorry you’ll miss the last day.” 

The tiny house had been a success and everyone was excited about celebrating its end. Everyone was a lot closer and David had blended the group with his professional background and all around problem solving nature. Maxim and Armin were closer than ever and only getting closer. Ilya and Jean were basically best friends and that had uncovered hidden jealousy within Eren and now they were a thrumple, a new word Eren had found only for a trio, and Marco was happy but Armin could tell that he was getting a bit disheartened by Jean’s continued lapsing of promises on taking their relationship to a new level. If anything Armin noticed that Jean was getting even more afraid of taking things past live in boyfriends.

Jean needed to sign legal documents and designate a person to handle him and his affairs if something should happen. He wanted to put his mother down but she told him that she didn’t live near him and that that was ridiculous. Armin had secretly cheered that she’d been so stern. He saw what Ms. Kirschstein was doing and he commended her with a mental wink. He went on with his day only to later find a red faced Marco in the kitchen who avoided him by running out and leaving the house. When Erwin walked down the stairs he sighed, shoulder’s sagging, and he threw his hands up, “He had me put you down.”

Armin had been shocked, “WHAT?!” Erwin gave him a thin smile that said “I gave up,” “He wanted it to be you if not his mother. I had to do it.” “So, if he’s on a ventilator and it comes down to pull the plug or leave him I have to make that choice!?” Erwin sat at the kitchen table, “Yeah, baby. It’s all on you.” He gave him a pitying smile, “Should I add you to mine?” Armin looked at Erwin, eyes narrowing making Erwin gulp as he saw the sass that was about to bubble forth, “You mean I’m not your plug puller?” Erwin nodded cautiously, “Levi is.” Levi’s voice floated inside like a discombobulated ghost, “I don’t fucking want it.” “He was the natural choice. I’m his, too.” “I didn’t agree to that and I had to override it somehow. I have a _Do Not Resuscitate._ ” Levi walked inside the kitchen, “Just let me die.” 

Armin’s body had shook but he didn’t have time to speak before hearing, “NO! LET ME BE YOUR DECIDER!” It was like herd of elephants were running down the stairs, “NESHAMA WHAT THE FUCK!?” Levi sighed, eyes rolling to the side, “Eren,” “HOW COULD YOU!? HOW COULD YOU HAVE DONE SUCH!?” “Eren!” “NO, I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU WOULD WANT TO DIE!” “EREN!” “HOW COULD YOU JUST LEAVE ME AND THE CHILDREN!?DO YOU WANT TO LEAVE ME AND THE CHILDREN ON THE STREETS IN THE SLUMS WITHOUT YOU? ALL EIGHT OF US HUNGRY AND UNCLOTHED AND DYING IN THE SLUMS OF SAINT MICHEAL LIKE STREET URCHINS! HOW WILL THEY LEARN TORAH WHEN THEY ARE HUNGRY!?” Levi sighed the sighs of the ancients, fell on the floor dramatically with a slap and thud that made them all jerk, planted his face firmly against the floor, and groaned for a long time, “Your nagging with fucking destroy me.” Erwin burst into laughter, “I’ll add Eren as your person and add Armin as mine.” He got a bit sentimental, “I guess since we’re married now to other people we shouldn’t be in charge of each other anymore.”

Erwin sounded sad about that and Levi looked in his direction from his spot on the floor, “Well, when you say it like that….that’s kind of depressing.” Erwin grinned, “Are you being sentimental?” Levi scowled, “No.” He said it so indigently, adding like a hormonal teenager, “You wish.” Eren stared at Levi, “That floor is filthy.” “You’re filthy.” Eren snorted and laid down next to him, “What are you doing, brat?” Eren had a Cheshire grin and started to chuckle. Armin smiled and joined him on the floor. Levi groaned, “No,” he held it out as Armin giggled and Eren exchanged a knowing look on mischief, “Nooooo, brats keep your grimy hands off of me.” Both Armin and Eren rolled on to Levi attaching themselves, laughing, smiling, tickling Levi who was not a happy camper but his face was locked in a grimace slash grin as Eren made pterodactyl noises and Armin attached himself, both wrapping around him, “I am a Koala, Levi.” Armin mumbled and Eren smiled, “Me too, you’re my eucalyptus. I’m gunna eat you up nom nom nom.” Eren and Armin both made the nom nom nom noises and opened and closed their mouths. Levi snorted, “That’s such a poor decision. Then I’d be all gone.” Eren nibbled on his neck and Armin buried his nose in shoulder, mumbling, “No more death talk. Just play.” Erwin stood up and walked over to them.

Levi looked up, “Don’t even you big ass glorious eyebrow tree trunk giant man.” Erwin smirked, he laid down and covered Armin, enveloping them all into his long arms, “I’m big daddy Koala and you’re all my eucalyptus.” They all giggled and laid there till Zadkiel walked in. He took one look and without a word joined them.

But, aside from wonderful bonding experiences with his Velvel, Erenush, and daddy, and maybe even his father in law that won’t let himself be called father in law, Jean was being a problem. He was jealous that Armin and Levi were going to the concert in Atlanta, Erwin was too but hey what’s new, and he’d been making a stink about by being an all out cry baby. Levi actually walked inside of their room interrupting his thought, “Shefeleh, when do you get off today?” Armin stretched, “4:00 and that’s because I still need to pack.” Levi frowned, “I’ll pack for you.” “Noooooo because I have stuff that’s special.” Erwin sighed loudly and Levi smirked, “That’s right, I get special shit.” “Fuck off, Levi.” 

Armin moved to sit up but his head ached, “Will you drive, Levka?” Levi frowned, “Are you not feeling better?” Erwin raised his eyes brows, look of utter disappointment coloring his features sternly, “No, he’s not and he’s not drinking enough water. But,” he paused to cast his reprimanding gaze on him “you’re grown, knew the rules, and thus, you got exactly what you deserved.” Levi gave him a reprimanding look, “Erwin, it’s only been two days. Give him a break. No one asks to be drugged.” Erwin and Levi were picking at each other more and more lately and Armin and Eren had watched with vested interest. It didn’t seem to be bad picking, just interesting. They felt like they were getting to see a glimpse of what they’re like when they’re not around. “It’s in Atlanta?” Erwin asked folding his newspaper he’d picked up. Levi wrinkled his nose, “No, Montgomery.” “Really?” Armin asked, “Shefeleh you bought the tickets.” “Sorry, guess I looked at both and forgot which one.” Levi shrugged, “If you feel bad still, we won’t go.” Armin pouted, “But I want to go.” Levi frowned, he really had been excited, “I do too, but I want you to feel well.” Armin looked like he would cry, “Levka, we’re going.”

**************

Armin walked down to the kitchen where Eren was cooking. Maxim was at the counter finishing his coffee, “Armin,” Maxim’s voice was similar to Levi’s and he enjoyed it, “can I come with you to work today?” Armin nodded, “Sure.” Eren walked over to him, “Sit down and eat.” “I’ll eat in the car.” Eren pouted, “Nope.” Donner came over and Armin pet him while Eren made him sit and put a plate in front of him of food, “Eat it all. Drink this water with lemon in it and stay away from,” he took the coffee out of his hand, “caffeine.” The new kitten mewed from inside it’s box Eren was keeping it in. He had to bottle feed it and it was so small he was afraid to let it go in the house. Commander wasn’t exactly pleased at the new addition.

Commander walked over to Armin, hopping in his lap where he head butted his stomach and loved on Armin, “Kan I sees kittah?” He looked at Eren who was still cooking, “Of course. Look how cute it is.” Maxim smiled into his coffee. He liked the kitten a lot, too. “What do you call it? What is its name?” Maxim put his cup down and watched Armin look into the box as Eren tipped it over for him to see, “I haven’t named it. I wasn’t sure what to name it since I don’t know it’s personality.” Armin nodded, “It’s fancy. Boy or girl?” Eren petted it, “Boy.” “Is it a pure breed or?” “Naw, just an adorable mess.” “Maxim? Any ideas?”

“Names are important.” “Yes, they are.” Armin sat back and Eren cleared his throat, “Eat it all.” Armin pouted, “I feel like it needs a fancy name. Or a gutter rat name since our resident gangster found him.” Eren smiled yeah. They were silent, occasionally throwing out names, “Felix?” Armin’s eyes lit up, “Salvatore.” Maxim nodded, “Da, very good.” Eren looked at the kitten, “Welcome to the family mob, little Salvatore Ackermann-Smith.”

***************

Armin drove Erwin’s new car that day to work. On the way he picked up a new piece of furniture and needed the bigger car. Maxim sat back in his seat after helping him lift it inside. He wanted to throw up, “Can a man have sex with another man and not be a homosexual?” Armin nearly choked, “T-that depends, um. Why are you asking me?” “Because you’re a homosexual.” Armin felt uncomfortable and Maxim continued, “Would it mean anything or just be sex? If you sleep with woman, does it mean something?” Armin thought about it carefully, “No, sex with a woman doesn’t mean anything to me. In fact, I really don’t want to do it at all. I’ve never thought of a woman like that at all. Eren had crushes on Mikasa but he’s also strictly interested in men. Erwin doesn’t care for women either. Levi likes both, Jean likes both, Marco is a mystery as to if he’s ever like a woman or not. But, Max, sex is sometimes just sex and it doesn’t mean anything than just two people pleasuring each other or working something out. Sometimes it’s nice, sometimes it’s fantastic, hot, dangerous, passionate, and sometimes bad, lame, and really anything and everything but love. Sex doesn’t always mean love but it does change a person however so slight because you are engaging in something that is intimate.” 

Maxim pulled at his shirt and pants awkwardly like Armin often did, “What’s it like?” “Sex with a man?” “Yes.” Maxim’s cheeks were now red, he ducked his head, long blond hair and bangs covering his face. Armin understood how uncomfortable he was but he was glad he was asking since he wanted him to sort things out for himself and for Ilya. Everyone noticed that they were only a few moments away from destruction and lost friendship. “I think that it’s interesting because you have the same parts and you know what it’s like, what feels good, what secret spots are on your own and probably their body. But, I think that sex is universal….It’s the same as with a woman I’d figure, if you’re straight. You enjoy what you enjoy. There aren’t really differences other than the obvious. People are people. We all have sex and it’s all varied. If you’re thinking of doing it, probably don’t refer to porn. Or at least, just watch some bland porn because porn will just fuck with you. It’s not all immediate erections and already stretched holes.” 

Maxim absolutely looked like a tomato, “And some people don’t like anal sex at all. And some can’t come from just oral. Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean it’s all the same just like straight sex isn’t the same for everyone couple.” There was a tense moment of silence and Armin’s nerves were shot, his words came out like a torrent, “I feel like I’m not making any sense. I feel like Levi when Eren asks him if he can do something dirty and he has to explain why it’s dirty. Like, why he doesn’t want him to wear the clothes he wore working in surgery to bed just because he’s tired and why he wants him to leave them in the laundry room and even shower in the laundry room shower. Maybe that’s a little extreme but I still agree with Levi but Erwin agrees with Erwin Oh my, I’ve really gotten off track….” Maxim shifted, “It’s fine.” He mumbled as they pulled up. Armin turned the car off, “Let me think about it more and then get back to you.” Maxim nodded and they got out to bring the new piece in.

*********

Maxim watched as Armin drug through the first half of the day. He was so tired and it made Maxim angry, so angry he could kill. He had heard Zadkiel talking to Levi that morning about how upset they were. They mentioned names and Maxim tried to not to remember them. Armin was all he had of blood that wasn’t tribal cousins of long distance. He actually liked Armin a lot, too. That was rare for him.

Armin looked at his coffee maker and groaned, “I know he’s right but I just want some caffeine.” Maxim was looking through his pieces in the books he kept, “Why not keep them online?” Armin looked over, blinked, “I do but I like having the Polaroid’s of them. This way, if the system goes down or someone comes in for a meeting then they can flip through and look with me. It’s more of an experience, really.” Maxim nodded, “What’s in those boxes in the corner?” Armin smiled, “New items. I kind of got inspired by you and Ilya.” He blushed a little, shyly ducked his head and opened the fridge to get out some orange juice while Maxim looked at him suspiciously and then at the boxes, “What do you mean?” 

Armin was really uncomfortable, “Well, I get really inspired by people and stories from books. I guess you and Ilya were like characters come to life for me and I kind of bought some things that made me think of you and your stories. I know, it’s really strange and doesn’t make sense. I don’t always make sense.” Armin shrugged, fingers tracing the bottle of juice, “Fancy juice.” Armin looked down at the single serving glass bottle of juice, “Yeah, Erwin bought them.” Maxim took a moment, he realized something for the first time, “You don’t give a shit about money, do you? You really are not capitalistic.” Armin smirked, “No. I never had it and I’m always ready for it to go away. Why do you think I’m so scrappy? Why do you think I have more worth in gold than anything else in this store? Why do you think that most of the Smith wealth was passed down in art and jewels? I was ready for the shit to hit the fan and mobile wealth is key.” Maxim smiled, really smiled, like a fox, “I like that.”

Maxim and Armin opened the boxes while a few people looked around. Maxim was pretty comfortable at the shop with it’s nice eclectic music, clean surfaces, and interesting places to hide. This was an introvert’s dream place to hang out and get away. “We’re going to start a coffee bar over there for people to hang out and chill.” “What does this mean, hang out and chill?” “To just come, relax, maybe do some work or read, eat, drink, meet friends and talk.” “Oh, yes, this is a nice place.” Armin moved to the couch, the couple left and said they’d come back, Armin waved them on and Maxim turned to the boxes they had moved in this room, “So, let us see what is inside of them, da?” Armin smiled shyly, “I guess.” He mumbled and Maxim opened the first box and smiled.

Maxim laid the [bottles](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ce/aa/1e/ceaa1e0fbbdae1e260ded0eb7a3bc03b.jpg) on the table, “I like them, are you making a shrine?” Armin nodded, “I thought maybe something like a red corner?” Maxim shrugged, “I suppose that’s not so bad, but you must be mindful, you must treat it well. It’s like a chapel for the home.” Armin smiled, “I kind of got one….like a little chapel…” Maxim stared, what? “I don’t understand.” Armin stood and walked over to the corner in the room where something was under a tarp, “I know I told you it was a new retro refrigerator but it’s not. It’s for you. So, whenever you want to come and use it or if you’re working here you can use it. I thought it’d be good for show too.” He revealed a small [chapel](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/51/2d/f9/512df9e95dfe8318bf1098bb9ff5b266.jpg) that one could pray in. It was perfect for a garden an in fact that’s who he bought it from was a remote farmer. Maxim couldn’t believe it, “You did this for me?” Armin nodded, “You…don’t know how happy I am to have met you. I….feel like, I feel like Levi when David was confirmed he was his real brother. I don’t feel so alone anymore. I trust you, foolishly I do. You could be anything other than what I think you are because in my life I have never really known what was real but I love you, like family. I want you to be happy, to stay as long as you want. So, I did this and I’ll keep doing things like this.” Maxim walked over to hug Armin, “Spaseba, Arminka. Spaseba.” 

******************

It was almost time for them to go when he finally decided to take the plunge. He turned the sign on the door to closed at 3:00. “I’m going to close up early today because I’m not feeling like waiting around till 4:00 to clean up.” Maxim looked around at the spotless rooms that Armin kept clean throughout the day, “Okay.” Armin motioned for them to go to the side room, “Max, you want to sleep with Ilya don’t you?” Maxim shook he was so caught off guard, his knee jerk reaction was to do what he’d normally do to someone he didn’t want to just stad or kill, “Shut up.” He gritted out through clenched teeth. Armin nodded, “I think, personally, that there is nothing surprising about that. He’s your best friend, you feel safe with him, maybe your curious? I mean, who isn’t? It’s a human instinct.” “It isn’t godly. I can’t do this and be a good Christian. I can’t do this with him and make him a bad person, a tainted person. I can’t sin with him like this against God.” Armin pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes closed, and then his hands wiped down his face, inhaling the air of the shop with its nice smell, “Perhaps, it’s only a sin against God if you love him more than God?” Maxim and Armin looked at one another as the silence stretched. What a thought that was? 

Maxim picked at his finger nails, “I think that you’re already making him so special that scares you even more.” “It’s a horrible sin, one that is not justifiable by any clergy I’ve,” “Honestly, just stop. You have got to let it go. This whole sin thing about homosexuality.” Maxim’s anger flared, “IT IS WRITTEN!” Armin didn’t want to do this but it was clear this was what it was going to take. He inhaled, steadied himself, and then tried his best to mind fuck him into winning this argument and set Maxim somewhat free, “Okay, hate to break it to you, but you believe Jesus died for your sins, correct?” Maxim nodded vehemently, “SO, he also said that he had fulfilled the laws and that they were _done._ Therefore, do not forget them because they were once so and now are proof of why he has come but do not live by them because they are done, they have been finished, his sacrifice finished them. No more sacrifices, no more dietary laws, and _no more biblical marriages and sexual prohibition._ ” Maxim jerked and he was already formulating a response to him when Armin held up a finger.

“In summary, if you or any other Christian continue to use the laws of the Hebrew bible as your own and as if they are in any way, shape or form, legitimate and binding then you are committing not only a heresy but blasphemy because you are invalidating Jesus’ sacrifice of his life for your absolving of sin. You are invalidating and forsaking your own salvation.” Maxim blinked, he looked deflated, he looked like he’d found a fellow like minded person… “You believe that, too?” It was a whisper. He looked so hopefully, “Yes, Maxim. I do. You can’t believe that and be a Christian. Truly. It doesn’t make sense doctrine wise at all. Plus, Jews for the most part don’t believe in them either and don’t rely on it as their sole,” “I know what Jews believe! I just needed to know what _I believe._ In our community they do believe it is abominable…” Armin frowned, “Hasidic Jews and other orthodox and ulra-orthodox do and they have serious problems taking Torah to heart and not looking at Talmud’s humanistic achievements and opportunities to grow and revise and breath and live in this day and age. There is a reason that revisionist, conservative, and reform Jews are flourishing and are where most are finding a home. I just want you to know that if you’re gay that doesn’t make you a sinner like the old testament says. It’s not legal.”

Maxim moved to stand, “I know. I just…didn’t know if it was legitimate what I felt I…needed a push.” He’d gone to a few priests before and it always ended the same way, tragic and angry. He was so guilty, all the time guilty about how acted because he had to be perfect. He killed people for Christ’s sake, literally for him, like a good Siberian gangster. But he had to keep everything else the right way because he was the example for his tribe and he was his only true source of Christian knowledge in the community since his grandmother died. “Thank you, Armin. But, I’m not gay. I just wondered what the…hypothetical….explanations or…connotations of what I asked you would be like. I’m not looking to sleep with a man at all.” Armin had to really control his face because that statement made him want to either cry or beat him in the head. “Of course, Maxim. I’m just all loopy still.” He laughed awkwardly before standing and straightening his pillows on the couch.

“W-would you tell me about your tattoos?” Armin said after the silence stretched uncomfortably. Maxim snapped out of his thoughts, “I have the Russian orthodox [cross](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/85/db/ac/85dbac16a083a936d75a5c697434f4b0.jpg), and then I have on the back of my arm a Russian folk [flower](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/b3/48/7a/b3487aac7421584f36832f48d42b0622.jpg) design.” Armin drooled, “I love the flower. I want one so bad. Who did this?” “I did.” “What?” Armin dead panned, asking again, “What??? YOU ARE A TATTOO ARTIST?” Maxim smirked smugly, “I am. I followed the traditions of my father. You know tattoos are important in the prisons. I was a pupil of one of the best men in all of Russia.” Armin gawked, “Can you do mine?” Maxim pulled back studying him a bit, “You’d let me?” “Uh yeah, if you’re able to do that on the back of your arm I’d let you. I trust you.” “What do you want?” “For the first one I want a poppy.” “Like Erwin’s?” “Yeah, it’s my favorite flower and it has a lot of meaning for both of us.” “But you said first?” “Well, eventually I want a fox tattoo and maybe a friendship one with Eren and who knows what else.” 

Maxim smiled as Armin talked on and on about his thoughts and dreams and hypotheses. It was like being with Ilya and he also liked just being with him and hearing him talk. Eventually, they closed up shop and headed home where Erwin was pouting, Ilya and Eren were making ice cream sundaes, and Jean was on the phone with his mother laying on the table and looked to be in agony, “Mooooommmmaaaaaa I knooooooow! I’M SERIOUS! Why are y’all talking about me behind my back!? Noooooooo,” he listened and everyone could hear her chewing him out, “uggggggggghhhhhhhh _iknowiloveyoutooyeahillcallgottagobyemama_ ” He hung up and closed his eyes, “UGHHHHH.” Eren hit him with a spoon, “Be nice to your mama, Jean!” Jean sighed even more dramatically, “Shut up, Eren!”

Armin disappeared upstairs and he sat at the table with Ilya. He had thought about Armin’s words the entire car ride there, “Are you busy tonight?” Ilya looked at Eren and then the ice cream, “Um, I committed to movie night with Eren and Erwin, Maxi. But,” Eren looked over, “Naw, do something with Max. Erwin and I’ll will eat our feelings together with Jean as our third wheel.” He gave him a shit eating grin, “Isn’t that right?” Jean turned back and slapped his arm, “OW!” “SHUTUPJAEGERGAH!” “ENUCIATE YOU ASSWIPE!” Maxim furrowed his brows, “What has happened?” 

Ilya shrugged, “Marco is mad at him. Marco told his mother. His mother is mad at him.” Maxim frowned thinking, “Is this because you can’t commit?” Jean flushed red, “I made a choice to have Armin, who has known me for years, as the one who made medical decisions on my behalf. I don’t see what this is a big deal. He’s calm, he’s not dating me, he knows what I’d want. I just…” Jean fumed standing up and nearly flipping the table in rage, “Maybe I’m not ready to just throw common sense out and play house before I’m grown, you know.” He spat at Eren and for once Eren didn’t jump. He seemed genuinely concerned, “Jean, come one man, don’t be upset like that.” “Fuck off. All of you just fuck off.” He left and Maxim and Ilya exchanged looks as Eren put his ice cream in the fridge and went to find him.

A short while later Ilya turned to Maxim, “So, what did you want to do?” “I don’t know. Go, explore or something.” “Why don’t we get dinner and look around. We can hang out in the tiny house after it.” “It doesn’t have the electric turned on yet.” Ilya smiled, “Since when have we cared?” “I’d rather sit out on the back porch here.” “We can do that too.” They heard footsteps and then saw Levi with two small bags one might pack for a weekend trip. He went outside and put them in his car.

When [Levi](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/39/1e/96/391e9620d8e1cced8f48882d4f1548ac.jpg) came back Maxim and Ilya took a moment to appreciate his swag. It was cooling off considerably at night and he was dressed for it. He looked flashy, swagger-tastic, and clean. Levi walked over to them, “Evening.” He went to the fridge and opened it, “Fuck, Eren. Why?” Maxim and Ilya looked as he pulled out his husband’s ice cream and put it in the freezer. “I love him. But, he’s such a brat.” Maxim smirked, “He wanted to help his friend.” “Jean?” “Da.” Ilya supplemented while smiling. Levi turned around, “He needs to get his shit in order. Where is Erwin?” “Hiding from you.” Ilya said suddenly and Maxim held his breath. He’d been wondering what was going down between them. Levi sighed, “He’s such a big ass tree man.” Well, that didn’t clarify anything for Maxim.

Armin came bouncing down the stairs, “I’m ready!” He smiled as he came around the corner and Levi ate him with his gaze, “Mami,” his deep voice and tone, not to mention new term of affection, caught Ilya and Maxim off guard, “you look astounding.” Armin smiled, tucking his hair behind his ears, light pink flush on his cheeks. He had on to die for thigh high leather stiletto [boots](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/83/1d/83/831d8301d226291aea044784c3743146.jpg), his [septum piercing](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/db/b1/85/dbb1856602254692a174e959d7533937.jpg) was in and it was real diamonds straight from the Smith account, and his leather [dress](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/bb/68/80/bb6880e857e207e4370cf771540164d8.jpg) was flirty and would keep him warm enough but still cool enough to press against Levi for warmth later at the open air amp-theater. “Thanks. I’m glad you like it.” He demurred, mumbling as Levi walked closer. “You are dressed like woman!” Maxim’s eyes were wide, his mouth had fallen open then closed with a snap, mind crashing into focus, “You wear women’s clothes?” Ilya smiled, “You wear them well.” He laughed warmly but Maxim was still stuck, “You wear the clothes of woman?” Armin nodded, now very self conscious, “Yeah….I wear whatever I want.” Levi’s arm snaked around his waist, “And there’s nothing wrong with that. If you have a problem,” He glared at them both, “I’ll beat the shit out you.” Ilya smiled and Maxim shook his head, “I’m just….not…I am only surprised. In Russia they would kill you on the streets or you’d go to jail.” Ilya sighed, “Well,” he smirked looking at Maxim, “maybe if the people who dress like women looked like Armin then,” his smirk grew to a frisky smile, “you know.” Maxim hit him, “Hush. I am sorry, Aminka. Please forgive me.” Ilya wanted to fall over, “Maxim Aristov apologized for something. This is great holiday in all of Russia!”

Armin and Levi parted ways heading to the car. Levi opened his door for him. When he climbed inside his hand flew to his and then his knee where he teased the exposed skin above hem of his boot till the hem of his dress. He told Armin how pretty he was, how sexy he was, and he said such hot and naughty things to him that made breathing difficult as they drove. He treated him like Erwin did but it was different. Something was always different between them. It was like what he had with Eren and what Eren had with Erwin. There was something about the way that Levi placed praise and affection on him. He may not be able to explain it all, but he lived for it. Armin checked his [watch](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e7/ba/a2/e7baa20b5952afffab36b97c94cf1e15.jpg) that Levi had given him for no particular reason, “We’re going to get there thirty minutes early.” Levi smirked devilishly, “Don’t worry, mami,” he looked like handsome demon, “when we get there I’m going pin you in that seat and inspect every inch of you for those thirty minutes.”

****************

Armin was panting in the car as Levi’s lips left his. He was convinced that Levi was poison. Erwin had said that before, Levi is poison, an introduction to decadent and rich death that one welcomes. Levi’s hands rubbed him sinfully and his mind was for once silent. No thoughts, no worries, no fears. He found moments like this in Levi and they were different from the others. With Eren, he felt a warm enveloping unspoken bond, like yellow grain, blue skies, cool sea breeze and shimmering waters. Eren was laughter, smiles, childish wonder, friendship, pure, and cotton soft. 

Erwin was, oh God, he was turquoise, golden coins on marble floors, red silk, fine roman architecture, Greek baklava, eagles in the forest soaring over a childhood Armin when he had ran in the pastures of his hometown, he was chuckles about something coy, the sound of schadenfreude laughter through open teeth, long horns, Native American folklore and prints, feathers in Armin’s hair at camp with Jean and Eren, he was safety during a storm, he was hot like sand, he was cold like ice. Erwin was his religion, his passions, his vision for the perfect future.

But, Levi was something different, something special like the others but completely unique. He had such a level of depth to him that it astounded Armin the further he fell down the rabbit hole with him. Levi treated him so differently than Erwin did when he dressed like this. He ate him, he devoured him, he wanted to absolutely absorb him. When Levi moved off of him he smirked, “Sometimes I feel bad for Eren and Erwin.” Armin huffed, his chest heaved, “Why?” Levi leaned back and took his sweater off revealing a thicker black V-kneck shirt, “Because they aren’t attracted to women and they just can’t really appreciate you like this like me. Erwin likes it, he likes that you’re his cute baby who does what you want and wears what you want. He admires you like art. Eren sees you are divine and he has jealousy, not bad jealousy, but envies and wants to keep you at his side like an embellishment. He also thinks he can’t pull it off like you do because he’s even told me that he feels that way. He watches you with inspiration.”

“But me, well, I see you as two people. I know I shouldn’t because you’re not a girl but honestly when you’re like this you’re too much for me. I forget that you’re a boy. I’m sorry if that offends you. I really understand why our past relationships have been so heated and passionate. Because, Armin, you want to feel like a girl, you like being treated that way when you dress like this. I’ve noticed how happy you are when people call you Miss. You’re a sick little freak.” Levi said the last sentence with much amused affection, his lips turned upwards, he smiled truly. Armin nodded, “You’re right. I’ve just never admitted it. But, I like passing as a woman. It gives me a rush, a thrill, it also feels amazing to just be this way.” Levi turned to him, “I’ll be sure to make you feel amazing.”

Armin moved his hand to Levi’s elbow, “Can I drink or?” Levi shook his head, “No. Only water and juice, just like a little kid.” Armin pouted, “I’m tired though.” He batted his eye lashes, “I know you’ve got something good.” Levi looked at him and reached over to open his glove box pulling out just what Armin wanted, “Toda, Velvel.” Levi unwrapped the bag, “Whatever, mami.” He smiled at Levi giggling as he laid out the first line.

***************

  
Rage in the cage  
And piss upon the stage  
There's only one sure way  
To bring the giant down  
Defunct the strings  
Of cemetery things  
With one flat foot  
On the devil's wing  


Armin was so high and he felt better than ever. Sure, he’d crash tomorrow but maybe not. Levi tended to keep extending their stays in hotels and they had a lot of drugs left to get through. He wasn’t drinking but Levi was, beer in hand, arm around Armin’s waist, cigarette in his mouth. His hands kept squeezing Armin’s waist as they listened to the music from their VIP seats. Third row, so close, such a great view, clean, no pushing, just the way they liked it. It was a wash of Technicolor, acid trips, fake corpses, intense displays of psychedelic gothic gore and they loved it.

  
Crawl on me  
Sink into me  
Die for me  
Living Dead Girl  


Levi turned to Armin, lips attacking his neck as he moved to the beat of the music holding him tightly against him. His lips traced his jaw to his ear, “Fuck, mami, you’re so hot.” Armin actually blushed and Levi almost couldn’t contain himself, “Did I make you blush, mami? Why? You weren’t blushing when my fingers were in your sweet little panties. You weren’t blushing when you were begging in the car for me to fuck you. You weren’t blushing when you begged to suck my cock.” Armin ducked his head, Levi chuckled darkly, “That’s okay, sweet mami. I’ve got you.” He finished his beer. “I’m going to get another one. More water or a soda pop?” Armin’s hands fisted in his shirt, “Sure, Velvel. Hey,” he pouted, “Why don’t I suck you off in the bathroom too?” Levi snorted, his eyes glinted with mischief. He nicked his head to the stairs to head up.

  
Yeah, I am the astro creep  
A demolition style  
Hell American freak, yeah  
I am the crawling dead  
A phantom in a box  
Shadow in your head say  
Acid, suicide freedom of the blast  
Read the fucker lies, yeah  
Scratch off the broken skin  
Tear into my heart make  
Me do it again yeah  
Yeah…..  
More Human Than Human  
More Human Than Human  
More Human Than Human  
More Human Than Human  


A quick trip to the bathroom, where Armin was surprised no one cared that he was in there in a dress or anything, funny guess metal heads don’t give a shit what’s in someone’s pants, go figure that freaks are accepting huh?, and Armin found himself in a bit of a more uncomfortable situation than he’d betted on. His knees were protected by his boots but they’d ached on the hard cement floor. The stall was long but very narrow and he wanted to actually enjoy sucking Levi off since he liked doing it. But form the other’s perspective it wasn’t at all that bothersome. He had peered up at him through batted lashes and that was all it took. Levi was a god, sweat covered his body beautifully as he panted waiting for Armin. He was clearly turned on by the prospect of it being _him_ sucking him off and when Armin’s hands slowly unzipped his pants his erection was pushing against the fabric, fighting to be freed. Armin was sure to give him a show he’d never forget. “I can’t wait to taste you.”

****************

Back in the seats Armin drank a mixed drink sans alcohol and bumped some coke again much to Levi’s amusement. A man came to sit by Armin and Levi’s hand pulled him even closer but the guy only smiled at him, “Great concert,” he slurred slightly and Armin nodded smiling, “Yeah.” A woman appeared, really attractive with long curly brown hair, it was slightly wiry especially in the hot and humid south. She was tan, looked Greek to Armin, her eyes were brown and large. She didn’t wear a bra and Levi and Armin were distracted because she had the best breasts that they’d ever seen. This was something Levi and he spent the rest of the next set discussing because they were sure they were real and how did God bless her with such? They were the best tits that probably existed. They ended up telling her and she laughed. 

  
speak the truth,  
I dare not tell a lie,  
One child is in fits,  
The other child dies,  
Now the yellow bird sits upon her finger,  
The yellow bird a specter lost to linger,  


  
God Hates - The Lords of Salem,  
No can ever save them,  
God Hates - The Lords of Salem,  
No one can destroy them,  


  
Do you think they suffered,  
Up on Gallows Hill?  
Burn me and hang me,  
And I always will,  
Tumble like a swine,  
A victim of the fury,  
Glory to the saint,  
Before you start to bury,  


Armin and the girl made fast friends. Her name was Veronica and she was indeed Greek ethnically but second generation American. She was a marine and Levi and her exchange a few bits of conversation about it. Her boyfriend gushed about her because she got him the tickets for him finishing his thesis at Texas A&M. He was a physicist and really into politics. He talked animatedly about the dead eyed fat shit head that was Rod Reiss and said he was leaving the country if he was elected. Armin sat on Levi’s lap while the set changed and listened.

Levi couldn’t keep his hands off of him, fingers dipping under the hem of his dress, teeth on the back of his neck, his dirty whispers made listening to the conversation at hand very difficult. But Armin was listening and he was planning and planning. How would this work out? Uri was in Tennessee, Rod was in Washington DC, his father was dead, the king was dead, Marilyn was dead, Levi’s mother might have more secrets, and then there was One Eye. _Ughhhh I don’t even want to think of him._ Levi hummed, “I think that this guy would shit himself if he knew just how fucked up our lives were. His problems are so trivial, the voice of plebian.” Armin’s eyebrows rose as he turned to look down at Levi, “That was so mean. That was so…fucking hot to me for some reason.” Levi smirked, dark chuckle escaping him, and they proceeded to make out until the next set.

************

Their new friends left due to an early flight, the seats next to them were then left empty and that wasn’t a problem. They moved to the music, Levi’s hand gripping the flesh on Armin’s bottom under his dress. He growled possessively as Armin made to move away, “Bathroom, Velvel, be right back.” Armin got away and started up the stairs, Levi lit another cigarette, his eyes trained on him as long as he could. He turned back and bumped again, looking at the lights and pyrotechnics listening to _The Sound of Silence._

Armin was drop dead gorgeous. He caught a look of himself in the mirror in the ladies room and another girl, not too drunk, was all about him and his hair. Armin had a sweet little fishtail braid and was basically being asked, nay it was demanded of him, that he show that girl and the other 20 curious ones how to do it. It made his night all the better. When he walked back towards the seats he felt like he was being followed and when he turned around he was but that’s probably because they were also VIPs. They looked a little drunk or stoned so he didn’t think anything of it. 

  
Stripped of life, alone  
In the midst of something that I  
Want to play with your evil inside  
wanting, letting go, of what never could be again  
Lost and alone  
Imprisoned now inside your mind  
With the way you tried  
To destroy me again  
You were waiting and living for no one  
With the way you tried  
To completely refuse all your life

  
Feed on your nothing  
You'll never live up to me  


Armin made it down to his seats, the band on and Levi moving to the music. He turned to envelope Armin his hands and arms caressing him, hips grinding against him. “I was wondering where my pretty mami went. Let me hold you and feel that ass again.” Armin smiled, leaned up and kissed Levi passionately, breathing in the air in Levi’s lungs as he exhaled suddenly, surprised by Armin’s teeth taking his bottom lip in his own, drawing a slight amount of blood.

  
Awaken you  
With a little evil inside  
Feed on your nothing  
You'll never live up to me  
I've stricken you  
I don't want to live with the lie  
Feed on your nothing  
And you'll never live up to me  


Armin pulled back and then felt another body on his back, “Hey sugar, why don’t you give me a kiss like that too?” Levi’s scowl was legendary, “I won’t give you another chance, back off.” The guy was huge, had at least 50lbs on Levi and was tall like Erwin, “Man, why don’t you come over here and say something? They let the fucking hobbits out.” He turned to his buddy and Levi and Armin just scowled at them like they were the most uncouth creatures they’d ever seen. That’s what really pissed them off, they thought they were better than them and that would not be tolerated, “Oh, what do we have here, a stuck up little bitch who thinks she’s too good. Well, I’ll tell you, you are too good for this dick but that won’t stop me from fucking you with it.” Armin’s face was offended, outraged, and just aghast. _This is the shit women put up with. I mean, why would I ever want to sleep with someone who clearly thinks he deserves me?_ Armin turned around to face Levi who was fuming silently beneath his calm shell of a persona when the guy grabbed a hold of Armin wrenching him back, “Hey, bitch, don’t turn the fuck around when I’m talking to you!”

The security guard had watched it all and was already over the first row when Levi laid him out with three well place punches. His nose was broken, he hit his head on the seats and then the cement floor, he was fucked this giant prick of a man was totally fucked up by Mr. Levi Baggins and Armin was so pleased inside and to the credit of the guard, who was surprising a smile himself, he got there quickly and everyone else had completely missed the moment.

The guard grabbed him and then explained that he was supposed to kick out any involved but that he’d watched and if anyone had touched his wife like that he’d have done worse so enjoy the show. Levi hammed it up, “She’s a precious thing, my wife. No one will ever disrespect her. Not as long as I live. She’s my moon and stars.” Armin laughed and they returned to the show but there was a few heavy moments between them in the darkness. They were drawn to the words, words that helped them try and understand what they needed to do to go forward in their lives. Armin and Levi were both much deeper and more sentimental that others knew.

  
Penance can't absolve your sin, into me  
Penance can't absolve your sin  
All your belief cannot absolve your sin  
Reap your life, like you want to recognize, all you've come to  
Reap your life  
**Veiled in shadow**  
Recognize  
Faces of the crucified  
**I can hear their screams tonight  
** Ever haunting me  
Burn your lie into me  
  


*************

Armin ended the concert pressed against Levi slowly moving just enjoying his time with him and knowing that their family was safe for right now in the comfort of their home with their unborn children. He asked Levi if he should drive as they filed out with the others and Levi shook his head, “I’m fine, lets get some food.”

****************

Food ended up being in the middle of the city at a strange BBQ stand with mixed drinks and trivia. Armin was kicking ass and told Levi about how Erwin and he did trivia on their honeymoon and Levi snorted, “Eren is so smart but he sucks under pressure.” Armin smiled in the blackness of the shadows from the buildings, he leand across the picnic table, voice hushed, “Wanna do something,” Armin bit his lips coyly, like he didn’t know how to phrase it, “illegal?” Levi raised an eyebrow, “What? You want to break the law?” “I want to feel alive.” “Then let’s do it.” Levi leaned forward and kissed him, “You are my wife, afterall. What kind of husband would I be to let you do such alone?” Armin kissed him softly, “True, play nice now and later, punish me. Please?” Levi chuckled finishing his beer.

****************

Money fell on the purple plastic stage, blue lighting made the room look exotic, women with boas walked around, noses up, men cat called and a few of them wanted numbers as they grabbed at his exposed legs and bottom. Armin grabbed the money, fistfuls of money it was insane how much money he got. He heard the cheer suddenly and then moan and groan. He looked over to see Levi running towards him from behind on the stage, nothing but a black thong on, glitter all over his body, clothes in his arms with fistfuls cash falling at the wayside, “Go, go, go, go!” Short staccato punctuated words as he rushed Armin down and off the stage as a huge black man ran after them screaming something in Chinese.

*************

“And this.” Another bottle fell into the cart, “And this.” “And here, mami, this one.” “Then some of these.” An entire row of cheetohs into the cart from off the shelf but Levi held up a finger, giant fur coat on, money sunglasses, and no shirt, “Not the BBQ ones.” Armin gawked, “UM YES THE BBQ ONES!” “Do you eat these? I have never seen you eat these.” “They’re for the POOR!” Armin was still in his leather dress and boots but he wore a baseball mets jacket, and a tiara, “Let’s give the people variety.” Levi shrugged rolling his eyes. They pushed the cart towards the front of the liquor store and then stopped. Levi looked at Amrin, “Let’s Robin Hood this bitch.” The cashier’s face contorted into a face of “huh?” When Armin gripped the handles and Levi let out an Israeli cry of freedom and they rushed out the door.

*************

They gave the cart to the sex workers around the corner and then hid in their house as the police ran around looking for them. Armin giggled as Levi petted a potted plant. Levi instagramed a video of them and tagged Eren. They got a lot of likes or as Levi called it, “Tiny muscles.” He was nerd and didn’t like hearts.p> *************** 

Armin was pushed against the car, dark tendrils of lustful sounds surrounding him near his ear, “I’m going to pull your little panties down, let everyone see them, and then I’m going to fuck you right here in the open, in this public place, so that everyone can see what a little slut you are, mami.” Armin’s face was pushed against the window and he noted the car headlights occasionally. Anyone could find them, see them, see him like this. Levi’s fingers pulled out his plug, they moved inside of him, he squirmed, “I’ll make it quick, I’ll make you cum all over my car door.”

Levi knew that Armin had a voyeur kink. He’d always wanted to do this to Eren but wasn’t sure how open he would be to it. Armin, however, was dripping when he touched his cock back at the sissy bar they just left where he’d threatened it. The bathroom stall they’d gone in to ditch plastic bags of weed for bags of molly that the hookers set up for them had been too small for much and very isolated and away from others. Great for drugs, not so great for Armin’s need for humiliation and pain.

Levi thrust inside of him hissing at the tightness, “Ah fuck, mami, you’re always so fucking tight and silky soft. Shit, you take good care of yourself.” Armin moaned, hips shaking and involuntarily bucking back on Levi. Levi grit his teeth, groan escaping him. His hand moved up, gripped the roots at the base of Armin’s neck keeping his face against the glass and the other hand wrapped around to push on his lower stomach moving him closer to him so that he could better thrust into him, deep, hard, long, and fucking hot. Armin didn’t last long. Armin whined as Levi pulled out. He made Armin crouch and lick his seed off the side of the door. Levi shook from a second wave of arousal at the sight and because some people were clearly outraged and yelling at them for the display they could see from their bench in the park. Levi tossed him into the car through the driver’s side where he had to climb into the passenger’s seat and sit down.

Levi was panting, he tried to calm his breath as Armin went weak from his release, slacking off in the car, breathing ragged. Levi reached over, “Buckle up, mami.” Armin put the seatbelt on and Levi held his hand as they drove to the hotel room. “Thanks, Velvel. But, you’re door is still dirty.” Levi snorted, “I’ll just pay someone to clean it.” Armin laughed shortly, “Wow, that was so Erwin.” Levi laughed with him.

****************

  
“You crawled away from me. Slipped away from me. I tried to keep a hold, but there was nothing I could say. You slid and crept away and there was nothing I could say. So what you're trying to say is you don't wanna play. But what you want and what you need doesn't mean fuck to me. Because I can see your back is turning. If I could I'd stick the knife in. This is love. This is my love for you. Get up. Now. Say you won't go.”

****************

Inside of the hotel Levi paid and Armin stood shakily next to him as the concierge took their things upstairs ahead of them and the manager upgraded them for no particular reason until Armin saw that he had an Israeli flag behind the counter. That made him smile. He liked when people were nice to Levi, when they respected him. Levi’s hand fell to Armin’s and Armin smiled, “You two make a beautiful couple.” The manager smiled and Armin felt his phone vibrate, “Hello?”

Erwin was on the other side, “Baaaaaaby, I wove you so mech.” Armin snickered, “Erwin, you’re so drunk.” Erwin sighed, „I miss you…..in bed with me you’re….not!.“ „I miss you too, daddy. But, you can sleep next to Eren, yeah?” Erwin made a humph, “He’s taking care of Jean an’ bein’ uncool.” Armin made an awww noise of sympathy, “I’ll make you a deal. I’ll send you a sexy picture in a sec. I’ll also promise that when I get back I’ll bake for you and we can go to look at that _thing_ you’ve been wanting to look at.” Erwin’s smile was practically radiating warmth through the phone, “Thanks, baby. I really do love you, you know that?” Armin smiled so brightly it hurt, “Yeah, Eriwn. I do. I love you so much there are no words. Now sleep off the scotch hangover as much as you can. We’ll be home Sunday morning at the latest, okay?” “That’s so long.” “Erwin’s it’s already Saturday morning, hush.”

**********

The [room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/c3/5c/25/c35c2552b838ac7b35e608cb24719568.jpg) was beautiful. Levi had picked Armin up and carried him to the bed where he let him fall. Then he went to take a shit in true Levi fashion while Armin sat up and went over to his bag putting on his special surprise for Levi. Armin took a picture, well, a few, for Erwin and sent them. Erwin replied in seconds with an array of replies:

 **Erwin 4:20:** Mooooooooooore, baby.

 **Erwin 4:23:** Fuck, oh so fucking fuck fuck yes

 **Erwin 4:25:** :-O My God ave maria hashem allah :-O

 **Erwin 4:27:** asdkasjndsnaskln

Armin thought that super drunk sleepy Erwin was truly a poet.

************

Levi stood in the bathroom doorway, mouth open, pupils dilated, his heart thudded out of beat, his body went hot, he wanted to thank HaShem for this, he wanted to see what Eren would look like dressed like this and the thought of two people, the two most delectable people he knew, looking like this is in the world made his cock throb so badly he almost let a whine escape, almost.

[Armin](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/5a/23/54/5a23545e119296d96c7359f57694b643.jpg) smiled, his hair tied in a bun with a pale pink ribbon. He had picked this out and another one specifically for the two most important men in his life. Eren had been with him and had contemplated something similar but a puppy in the window at PETCO next door had distracted him. Armin loved Eren so much. “Mami, you almost look too pretty to abuse.” Armin pouted cutely, eyelashes thick and black, lips painted in the color baby doll, pink matte because Levi didn’t like shine but Erwin did, Armin knew these things about them. His septum piercing glittered in the light, “Almost, Sir. Almost.”

Levi stalked forward in the room, “Is this what you want, mami?” He breathed, the room’s dim lighting made things more intimate, more seedy. He reached towards Armin, his thumb caressed and pulled down his bottom lip as he looked at him, “Yes.” Levi licked his lips, his voice aroused, hoarse as he whispered longingly, “What do you want, mami?” Armin removed a lipstick compact, fingers delicately holding it as Levi watched, he moved to take Levi’s thumb inrto his mouth, sucking on it slowly as Levi pulled it out with an internal groan, “Hurt me.” He popped the lid off of the [lipstick container](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/d2/4a/15/d24a15c87e69ba0190d79aae81c2aab8.jpg) revealing it’s hidden contents: a razor sharp petite knife. Levi took it, peering down at him, face hard and unreadable. He smirked devilishly, snorted shortly before gripping Armin’s chin, “Okay, mami.” He leaned down, lips almost touching Armin’s as he whispered, “I am the devil and this is love.”

*******************

_  
“It took so long to remember just what happened. I was so young and vestal then, you know it hurt me, but I'm breathing so I guess I'm still alive even if signs seem to tell me otherwise. I've got my hands bound, my head down, my eyes closed, and my throat wide open. Do unto others what has been done to you. I'm treading water, I need to sleep a while. My lamb and martyr, you look so precious. Won't you come a bit closer, close enough so I can smell you. I need you to feel this, I can't stand to burn too long. Released in this sodomy. For one sweet moment I am whole. Do unto you now what has been done to me. You're breathing so I guess you're still alive even if signs seem to tell me otherwise. Won't you come just a bit closer, close enough so I can smell you. I need you to feel this. I need this to make me whole. There's release in this sodomy. For I am your witness that blood and flesh can be trusted. And only this one holy medium brings me piece of mind. Got your hands bound, your head down, your eyes closed. You look so precious now. I have found some kind of temporary sanity in this shit blood and cum on my hands. I've come round full circle. My lamb and martyr, this will be over soon. You look so precious.”_

*****************

Armin woke up, pleasure filled haze of painful torture. Levi’s hand rubbed his bottom, he felt the burn of the leather against his skin as he moved on the carpet he laid on, whining pitifully against the gag in his mouth. His heart thudded, missing a beat when Levi slapped him again so hard it made his eyes sting, tears running down his face. Levi leaned over him, “Say it.” Armin’s mind swam, he mumbled against the gag, he tried his best. He tried over and over again as Levi commanded him to and Armin felt himself sag in lethargy. Levi sighed, disappointed in him and that made him scream in frustration. Levi took pity on him since he’d just come back into consciousness. He pulled the gag out, Armin’s lily white panties, and Armin coughed and sputtered trying clear his throat in some way and regain some control. “Say it, mami.” His lips were right by his ear, Levi’s breath tickled his hair. Armin’s body shook, “I’m a bad girl.” Levi’s hands gripped the flesh of his ass, “Say it right.” He put pressure on the bruised flesh and Armin cried out, “I’m a bad girl!” Levi smiled sadistically and Armin could feel it, “Good girl.”

*****************

Levi loved how debauched Armin looked choking on his cock. He loved the worship he saw in his eyes as he presented him with it and commanded that he take it all the way, all the way down his now enlarged throat. His fingers ducked beneath his chin, fingertips feeling the raised goose flesh and then prominent bulged that was his cock in Armin’s tight little throat, too small for such a large intrusion. He loved how he crossed his ankles behind him, how even after he’d tied his arms behind his back with the sweet little ribbon from his hair and cum on his face he replied sweetly, “Thank you, sir.” 

And Levi loved the way Armin kept his secrets, the ones he let slip in moments of holy aching that he buried inside of him. He and Erwin were like tombs where he his inner thoughts went to die, rest in peace, and Eren’s love was like returning to the sea. He loved coming on that note down Armin’s throat while he fought for air as Levi’s hands kept him pinned down at the base of his twitching cock. He loved his sweet shefeleh.

**************

Armin twitched as the knife cut into his neck. Levi had made designs all over his back the first time he fucked him from behind. He’d left a petite note in French inside of his arm while he fucked him on his side. He’d drawn the scarlet letter on his chest over his heart and mocked Armin for its symbolism while he held him down on the bed and fucked him like a bride on her wedding night. Now, he was fucking him against the wall with such heat they were red, sweating, and panting.

They’d fought, their hands leaving marks on each other of violence, ribs crushed, faces purple and blue from slaps with bleeding lips that sharp teeth had pierced and there were other marks of hatred on their skin. They’d attacked one another fiercely, like that first night in New York, _Hurt me, this is love._ Then Levi had, teeth barred like a wild animal and snarl in his throat, thrown Armin against the wall, pushing him up and choked him nearly to blacking out again, “Mami,” he exhaled him sensually, full of flavor and pleasured sadism, “I’ll break you like a common town whore.” _Because I am the devil, shefeleh and you are my sacrifice._

Armin had laughed ironically, defiantly, his eyes shining, “What a bluff, Levka. You’re no match for me.” Levi’s eyes burned, “Big words for a weak little girl only good at sucking and taking cock. You’ve got such an dirty mouth on you.” Levi watched Armin’s head rolled to the side and back against the wall, “I am the devil, Levi Winter.” Levi had the knife against his throat in seconds and began to brutally make him submit in wonderful ecstasy that felt like he was living in a classical masterpiece, Handel’s Messiah or Paul Celan’s Todesfuge. He loved him, he hated him, he loved him, he hated him, he loved him…


	124. snatches and tweets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small intermezzo chapter.

“I feel like I’m not going to be able to make it work.” Armin said quietly among the duvet covers, sheets, and pillows. There were plates of take out around them after they ate what was on the room service menu and found it just didn’t do it for them and their high taste pallet. “What do you mean?” Levi had his arm under Armin, naked and covered only by the sheet. He was drained, completely. He turned his head to face Armin, his back cracked as it laid flat on the mattress, “Are you saying you can’t make it work with Erwin?”

Armin kissed him slowly, “No, I’m talking about the Wall and Reiss family situation. I’m thinking that this is going to have to be slow, slow like history. I think we need to think differently.” Levi kissed him again, their lips still touching as he sighed into him, “Whatever. Talk to Erwin about it and get back to me.” His phone went off, _watch me whip, watch me nay-nay. Watch me whip whip, watch me nay-nay._ Armin’s voice was laced with amusement, “Eren is calling.” Armin’s lips turn up into a shit eating grin while Levi rolled his eyes, “I hate when he changes my ringtones.”

*************

“What are you saying?” Erwin and Armin were at lunch together near his store. He had surprised him by stopping in and then they went to a new bookstore, listened to a slam punk poetry contestant practice, and then they ended up at this place that David had recommended that he and Zad went to together with Hannes. _Those three as a trio was odd but whatever._ Armin had told Erwin about his worries and Erwin seemed to not freak out like he was, “We have been thinking in terms of months, Armin. We need to think longer. We need to think… _in years._ ”

Armin drank his vanilla coke, “Ha like how the church thinks in centuries. I guess that makes sense. I’m just sad our kids will be brought into this.” Erwin frowned, “Are you happy, Armin? With me?” Erwin asked suddenly and Armin’s eyes widened, “Um yeah, Erwin. I’m…” he sputtered searching for the words, “I’m beyond…there are no words for how much I love you and love being with you.” Erwin smiled, “Just checking. Wanna go to Gatlinburg for New Years?” Armin laughed, “Always.” “Wanna discuss in detail the Winter War in Finland?” “Always.” “Want to get a tattoo?” It left Erwin’s mouth before he even had time to consider it. Armin’s mouth was open to reply but then he shut it, “Actually, you know what? I do. But, I wanted Maxim to do it.” Erwin finished his drink, “I am not opposed to that but….I like Larry the tattoo guy.” 

Silence stretched between them till Armin burst into laughter, “Larry, the tattoo guy? Is that his official title?” Erwin smiled, “Yeah, no. But, yes, he’s Levi’s tattoo artist here. He did my tattoo.” Armin made an ohhh sound, “I like that. I’ve seen his work a lot.” Armin laid his head down on the table yawning, “Let’s do it.” 

*************** 

Levi’s hand on the door stilled and he turned around to look at Eren. Armin and Erwin were holding hands next to him, it looked like the beginning episode of an after school anime, “Eren, I think this is going to be…uncomfortable.” Levi looked upset and Eren put his hand on his shoulder dramatically, “Neshama, I don’t know why you’d feel like that about a party at Hanji and Mike’s house. Literally they get us so well that they’d make sure that nothing that involved feelings, real or fake, would be involved. I think we’ll make it.” Mikasa and David walked up while Eren was staring intently into Levi’s eyes. It was freaking everyone out and they all had little confused and scared symbols floating above them while Mikasa and David quickly summed up the scene.

Being everyone’s psychologist gave David a slight edge and he was able to hone in on Levi specifically, “Do you have a feeling that you’ll have to confront feelings, brother?” David asked seriously and Eren replied for him, “We’re overacting.” Mikasa’s eye twitched, “I do sense something…explosive behind the door. It could just be Hanji’s personality though.” Erwin snickered and Armin started to try and think about it, he raised his pointer finger to the corner of his cheek and mouth, crossing one arm over his stomach and the elbow of the point one rested on the arm below, “Well, maybe this will be like the last party where we played cards against humanity and things got really,” Levi interjected, “dark. Dark and emotional. I am not into emotions today.” 

“When are you ever?” Jean and Marco appeared behind them on the driveway. Armin smiled and waved at Marco who was still being distant and upsetting him, _stupid Jean. Marco is my prime time soap buddy, my gossip buddy, my reading buddy. Fuck you and just love him._ “Hey Marco!” He said cheerfully and Erwin’s eyes swam with a sea of emotion: pride, helpfulness, hope, happiness, shota manga stars were twinkling in his eyes, rainbows falling out of his mouth like a snap chat filter gone wrong. Erwin had been and was currently trying to use his powers of persuasion to help Armin gain his friend back. Marco wasn’t having any of it, “Hey.” It was short and lame and made a dark cloud form over Armin’s head, dark lines from a block of blue over his eyes expressing his despair at such a blatant answer of, _“Fuck you, shota delight. Your pre-pubescent charms, silky Pantine commercial worthy blond locks, and shimmering anime sea blue eyes have had no effect on me. You’re likable shy nerd persona and tragic underdog back story doesn’t fool me because I see you as strictly the enemy for my lover’s affection.”_ Marco’s face was an angelic fuck you. Armin felt like a dagger had been thrust into him.

Armin quickly turned and disappeared from the sidewalk. He was practically weeping into the flower bushes as Erwin moved over and stroked his back, trying to soothe him when Eren seemed to break out of his Levi centric bubble and notice something other than anything that might threaten his ego, “Is that a cake?” 

Marco was holding a white butter crème French classic cake and Levi noticed too. He said with a lot of warmth, “I love those. My mama made one for my last birthday in France. She wasn’t allowed to make me a birthday cake after that.” Eren was overcome with emotion and joined Armin in the bushes for a good cry, overt shonen signs of despair coloring their faces, obscuring them, mushrooms growing on their heads as they lamented, “He hates me! Marco hates me!” Fat tears and sobs from both as they passed a handkerchief that was procured from thin air, “He deserved so much better! I’ll make you as many birthday French cakes as you want my precious Nehsama!” “I never asked for this! With power comes responsibility, but in my case, being meek and responsible has made me merely responsible with no real power!” Their cries were dramatic and worthy of an _Ouran High School_ plot line and supporting guest role.

“Yeah,” Marco smiled sweetly and innocently. Levi smiled faintly in return when Marco cut through the matter with a knife, “Jean thinks giving me a cake can make up for the fact he’s never going to be ready to be serious. I’m just supposed to eat this and any subsequent one he produces for the rest of my life till I die. I figured I’d just let everyone else have a taste of the unfulfilled relationship I’m in. Hahahaha.” He laughed and everyone wanted find a hole and crawl into it. No one envied Jean, that was for sure.

Levi took a deep breath and steadied himself, hand on the door knob, “HaShem, grant me the peace that I will need if Hanji draws the ultimate card,” Eren was leaned over his shoulder, face serious, eyes closed, the camera panned to a close up with a sweeping scene of each other person’s best anxiously-awaiting-final-words-of-a-prayer-face, “The biggest blackest dick.” The dramatic fan style music topped it off until, “Why standing around out here? We go inside for party, da?” Ilya and Maxim were standing behind them watching the giant production worried for their sanity. Maxim pushed through them all, “I will open door.” He ripped the door open and walked inside.

“SURPRISE!” Hanji yelled so loudly it made Maxim jump, hand heading for his knife, “WELCOME!” Levi and the others came inside noting how nicely decorated it was, “Hanji, it’s not a surpri,” Levi’s brain stopped working and then he fainted when he realized what he was seeing.

*

Hanji and Mike were actually throwing a secret wedding. When Levi came to on the floor, Erwin was smiling leaning over him, “I’m the officiate!” He grinned like a fool and Levi stared blankly. Erwin shrugged, “I’m also best man to Mike but hey, I get to pull double duty.” Eld, Petra, Oulu, Yvonne, and Lotus were all inside smiling and talking with everyone. Petra and Eld were trying to get pregnant and were excited about the upcoming births. [Hanji](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/fc/f7/37/fcf737519205d9b972223aa665d30e34.jpg) looked radiant and Levi’s legs were shaky as he approached them. He truly thought for a second, a split fleeting second, that he’d fallen in love with them all over again. They were beyond words, beyond comprehension and so far from how he’d ever seen them before.

The house was gorgeous but they made the space what it was: a delightful country chic and whimsical paradise. They were getting married in the [backyard tent](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ad/16/b9/ad16b92674fac21a3f5191777ffe0a5d.jpg), everyone would be involved. Mike’s parents had come down and they were quickly usurping Erwin’s time and Fran was all over Armin, picking on him out of love, doting on him, telling him stories. She lavished him with attention and Eren and Jean were so pleased with how he preened and did so well with her affection. Jean gave Eren’s hand a quick squeeze and then went to stand with Mikasa. The door opened and Reiner Braun entered. He’d stayed friends with them all after everything, becoming close with Mikasa and David. Mike had him on at the farmhouse fraternity and sponsored him. Hanji enjoyed his humor so he being there was a nice thing for everyone. He was also by himself and that made him all the more pleasant. Sasha and Connie entered smiling at the surprise. It was a good day for a marriage.

Levi walked up to Hanji and they turned to him, “Will you give me away….and be my man of honor? And dance my dad and daughter dance? Will you be my everything?” Hanji smiled somewhat self-consciously and Levi nodded, mouth dry. It was all he could do. Mila walked up to him, her little dress on, the cake on the table in the back, “I love you, Hanji. I’m so happy for you.” Hanji smiled, “I love you, too. Now, come on shortie, we’ve got to get this show on the road.” Hanji laughed and he did too, kissing Mila’s little curls as she laughed and smiled.

***************

Armin smiled as he wiped the sleep from his eyes and heard Eren’s voice, “Gifts for the birthday boy.” Eren smiled and Armin blushed, “You didn’t have to get me anything.” They were in his bedroom, Eren had crawled inside of his king bed in the dead of night. Levi had been working on something and Erwin was on a business trip. A trip for what business Armin didn’t know. His pretty tattoos on the side of his hand in the space between the top of the wrist to the beginning of his pinky on one hand said “champagne” and the other “absinthe.” Eren had really liked them when he saw them and Levi had merely snorted, “What has Erwin put on his body to match?” When Levi had found Erwin pulling on a new shirt he ripped it off searching his body. Under the arm of his tattooed shoulder he saw the words, “Scotch Fizz” in Armin’s pretty handwriting and snorted, “Appropriate with your small drink of champagne lover in there.” Levi’s fingers left the raw skin under the plastic wrap. Erwin smiled, “You love my tattoos.” He leaned over him, voice low and smug, “You’ve got such a thing for tattoos.” Levi jumped him, making out with him fiercely till Eren and Armin had found them and separated them for a day’s worth of activities.

Erwin would be back in a few hours and Levi was probably passed out somewhere in his office. “Open them, Armin.” Eren gave him his best puppy dog eyes and Armin giggled. Armin smiled as he opened gifts from Eren first, "Oooooo!" He had gotten him a [mug](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/16/74/52/167452318affaf7328856a78fff24b1d.jpg) with Adele on it, a [sweatshirt](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/38/ed/22/38ed2282c55f62ecac3bbb66d2887861.jpg), and a Cartier vintage makeup [compact](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e8/5e/59/e85e599d482c9e68ec0df8da00f738d3.jpg). "EREN I LOVE THIS!" Eren smiled, "Of course you do. Levi's gifts are next. They’re small but I was there when he picked it out and it's so you I was kind of jelly because damn he’s got you figured out and it took me and Jean a lot longer before we were as sure as he is." 

Armin smiled, “Levi and I are just really reflective. We think about a lot and figure stuff out faster. It’s not that great, trust me. I always worry if your secret candy stashes are low and if you remembered to change out your tooth brush or if the sushi rolls you got are actually legit. Sometimes I get up at night and change things like I have a stash of candy to replace yours with, I have tooth brushes in all shades, and I sometimes make homemade sushi rolls and put them in your store bought ones so that you’ll be happy at work the next day.” Eren just stared, “Damn….are you serious?” Armin shook his head, “I’m your best friend.” Eren’s eyes were still wide, “You’re really like the perfect girlfriend. You’re my girlfriend who makes sure I don’t die.” Armin laughed shortly, “yeah, actually that’s pretty accurate.”

Armin grabbed the gifts from Levi while Eren started typing away on his phone. Armin looked over, "What are you typing?" "I'm tweeting." "About?" "Some stuff I realized." Armin snorted, 'I'll be sure to read it." Eren smirked, 'I hope you do." He opened the first one, a small box and squealed, “Omg Levi, you know I love orange and I love jewels.” Eren barked a laugh, “He also knows you live like a survivor and you always want portable wealth.” “He is right and these [earrings](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/0e/a4/d5/0ea4d5ef7c10577dd075fff643f6f34f.jpg) might keep the police away.” He opened up a [shirt](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/62/eb/10/62eb109bbfa7d2caea92e2dc8efb39ec.jpg) and laughed and then underneath cooed at the [ingerie](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/23/2d/3e/232d3e10be80a77f591f301232b58d2a.jpg) set that was soft and sweet. Armin was very happy with his gifts when Levi opened the door to his room suddenly. He looked horrible and had in his arms a sight.

“Here, I don’t want to hear about it. They keep finding me.” He dropped the [kitten](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/91/a3/36/91a33642f13f5f6427c1b335fcff4762.jpg) on the bed between Armin and Eren squealed, “Levi, this is so you! It’s a Russian blue!” He explained why that was a good cat for him and Levi merely snorted, “Whatever.” “I’m gunna name it captain. Captain and Salvatore are gunna be besties with Donner and Commander.” “What? Are you sure?” “yeah.” “Whatever.” “I love you.” “Love you, too. When you’re done with these gifts come to the room. I need to talk to you.” Eren frowned, “Um okay.” He left and Eren and Armin started to pet the cat, “That’s not good.”

************************ 

Eren's twitter feed after his revelations...

**Erenjaegerbombackermann** : My boyfriend tells me he changes the sushi I buy out with homemade ones. I asked him why and he said you cant trust sushi from the store. 

**Erenjaegerbombackermann** : But like where else am I gunna get it? Da sea? 

**Erenjaegerbombackermann** : My boyfriend changes my tooth brush every month. He says it gets dirty. How it get dirty it get washed every day? 

**Erenjaegerbombackermann** : My hubs took my underwear down to the laundry room and cleaned them. I cant look him in the eye. What he must have seen bruh. 

**Erenjaegerbombackermann** : My bf folds my clothes. I never knew there so many ways to fold a shirt. 

**Erenjaegerbombackermann** :Also, when I was single I had one pillow. Now we have 32. I'm like why do we have 32 pillows. Hubs and bf said for decoration. FOR WHO?! 

**Erenjaegerbombackermann** :Btw Yall ever heard of some shit called decorative towels? He got some decorative towels that I apparently can't dry myself with. HASEHM WHY 

**Erenjagerbombackermann** :Bf got us some wit our names on em and tell me I cant us em but it have my NAME ON IT 

**Erenjagerbombackermann** :I got tricks, tho. Shit go both ways. Dryer was broke last week, I fixed the motor in it and my bf thought I was a wizard or something. I'm like "You know this a machine right?" 

**Erenjagerbombackermann** : My Hubs got my hip to the swag of the "Face rag" so now I take 2 rags when I shower. One for the face, one for the body. I feel Godly. 

**Erenjagerbombackermann** :My hubs said "So you just been using one washcloth for everything?" and I'm like "I ain't even own a washcloth before you." 

**Erenjagerbombackermann** :I had a meeting, my hubs said he left the steamer out. Took me a full 3 hours to figure it out. Google laugh at my bougie ass b/f it showed results 

**Erenjagerbombackermann** :My bf tells me he puts the rest of his box of cereal in glass containers so they don’t get stale. I told him Ive never had cereal left over to save let alone worry bout its level of stale 

**Erenjagerbombackermann** :I wonder if every man has a point in relationships where he wonder how he survived without his SO. Cause bro I was struggling apparently 

**Erenjagerbombackermann** :Check this shit out. Hubs bought me 3 things of deodorant. I'm like "Do I got 3 arms?" He says "No, just in case you run out." 

**Erenjagerbombackermann** :Bills came in, I'm dreading going through all this shit. Hubs and bf said they organized and filed all of em and I can actually pay online. Huh?! 

**Erenjagerbombackermann** :If I'm ever single again I'm not gon make it yal. This is what people work all their lives for. This is it. 

**Erenjagerbombackermann** :All I gotta do in return is whatever they want. Which is easy shit, killing bugs, fixing stuff, paying all the bills & give them the big dick 

**Erenjagerbombackermann** :Whole fridge looking like a come up. And we got this shit called tupperware so ALL KINDS OF LEFTOVERS AND I CAN EAT THEM WHENEVER I WANT!!!

************************* 

**hours earlier…**

Erwin had only gone to Montgomery and after 3 hours of feeling like his paperwork was going to kill him Levi left. Levi had to leave, had to go to Erwin. Donner was whimpering as he grabbed his keys and was pulling at him. Levi had received a phone call that made his head ache and his eyes weepy. "I'm sorry, Donner. But if you go with me Eren will know. Do you want to make your other dad upset?" Donner's tail tapped the floor. He seemed to say no. Levi hugged him, kissed him, and left the safety of his absolute best friend.

The drive was routine from coming to see Hannes so much. He bobbed and wove through the streets pulling up to a hotel Erwin used regularly when he came to stay. Levi looked like a punk at such a place. It wasn’t like the places he rented that were luxury with an edge. This was old white money and 20 different wine glasses all with different stems luxury. In his opinion, it was shit. He asked the front desk Erwin Smith's room number and they had no intentions of giving it to him till he told them he his husband, brandished his wedding band, and there had been an emergency. They wanted to avoid an angry gay man and gave it wordlessly on a piece of paper.

Levi came up to his room, tapped on the door and waited. When Erwin opened it he was clearly surprised but was on the phone, "it's important but almost done," he mouthed wordlessly and Levi tched walking inside. He listened but the walls were moving in and he needed air. He went out on the balcony and Erwin sat down at the desk to finish his call. It was almost midnight.

When Erwin finished he was excited to tell Levi the great things he had in store for them all. He opened the mini fridge and got a beer out, twisting the cap and taking a long drink from it. He went to the glass sliding doors, moving the curtains to the side walking out.

Levi was to the far right edge of the balcony, wind moving his hair in many directions. He looked like various shades of blue in the moonlight and the faint glow from the city streets still alive with nightlife. Erwin smiled, "Lee," he began and then Levi turned his head to the left, eyes full of tears streaming down his face, "Erwin," he sobbed, "hold me." He started to wheeze, sputter, cry, weep intensely and covered his face with his hands, "please."

Erwin quickly came over, "Lee, shush." He took him in his arms as Levi sobbed more. He was coming apart, unraveling. Erwin gathered him to him, sat down in the double chaise lounge on the patio balcony and held Levi between his legs, head against his should, right hand on Erwin’s chest over his heart, "I," his sob interrupted him as his breath hitched repeatedly, "I, ha, lo," he hiccupped, "love you." Erwin's face was pitiful as he brought his hands up to card through his undercut and rub his back. "I love you, too. Lee, what happened? Is it just anxiety or?" Levi shook his head, "They called me." "Who?" "Mossad." "Oh, Lee...." "June or July they want me in the field for a special mission. June or July. I'll just leave my husband with a newborn. How fucked up is that?" He sobbed more, "I'll miss things." Erwin kissed his head, parts of his face, "We'll work something out. We'll make it better." Erwin looked over out at the city. He was devastated.  


**********

Levi left him before he woke up. He pulled his pants on, grabbed his keys and twenty dollars from Erwin in cash just in case. It was kind of common for him to just take money from Erwin’s wallet. He’d been doing it for a long time and old habits died hard. He only had his ID on him anyway and that was his justification. He went to the parking lot and went up to his car when he heard a familiar sound, _What are the fucking odds?_

Maybe he could use this to tell Eren?

*************

Halloween Prt 1: The build up

They were all gathered at the house for Armin’s Halloween bar crawl. Hanji and Mike wouldn’t be joining them but they were stopping by to “trick or treat” at their house. Armin smiled as everyone came inside and bustled around. They were holding a costume contest that Hanji and Mike would judge. [Jean and Marco](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/f1/8f/bd/f18fbde5213c0d8ec0ee67c1fffd72a1.jpg) looked positively deadly with their face painted in grim and macabre designs, very day of the dead. Eren and Levi were toy [soldiers](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/d1/8c/8c/d18c8c9408a2feac854275c8787e2aff.jpg), completely olive green and looked spot on. Ilya and Maxim were spot on in their [Slash and Axel Rose](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/7d/da/c8/7ddac8e998b3ced02d5e9eacb066f46a.jpg) costumes. Hanji and Mike showed up as [Morticia and Gomez ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/53/47/41/534741ed5f00a203b40ec59ed52f2304.jpg)Adams with a gut little grape [Mila](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/b0/45/4e/b0454e49e3e9fdf4521737683d183064.jpg) that Levi nearly passed on the floor from how cute it was. [Sasha and Connie](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/f4/d7/80/f4d7807f88799d226c24465be2f50579.jpg) were strange and something was going on between them that made everyone question what was going on with them and Ilya.

Reiner showed up with Krista and Ymir. [Krista](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/17/4f/b7/174fb79e69eb9dc9d329a1aa3dae9b8d.jpg) had on a grease inspired outfit and [Ymir](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/9c/be/ac/9cbeac274aeef060d98643da0dcd6fbd.jpg) came as a black sheep. Armin was dressed up as [Barbie](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/54/b8/0e/54b80e30df72115a8ae52b254914f763.jpg) from the 50s and Erwin was Ken. Reiner was Jamie Lannister from Game of Thrones and everyone thought that was humorous. Mikasa and David ended up winning simply because they were the most awe worthy and attractive. They came as Mr and Mrs Smith and looked absolutely perfect. Mikasa was doing much better now, her sickness dissipated and calm. Everyone was happy.


	125. Halloween Birthday and Russian Roulette

Armin got behind the wheel, “BABY! THAT’S NOT OUR CAR!” Armin looked around increduolsly, “Are you sure?” Erwin opened the side door, “BABY! YES! WHO SMOKES BASICS?” He held up the carton of cigarettes as proof. Armin bit his lip humming, “Okay but….I’m in so you wanna?” Erwin’s eyes went wide, “Are you asking me if I’d like to steal a car with you?” Armin shrugged, “Yeah.” Erwin started to consider it, “Oh, fuck no,” he looked in the back seat, “Armin, get the fuck out NOW!” Armin screamed as he slammed the door and came over to his side to rip the him out of the car. Erwin threw him over his shoulder running while they both scream and laughed, “WHY ARE WE LEAVING?” “THAT MOTHERFUCKER HAD ROPE AND A CROBAR FUCK THAT!” Erwin ran them straight over to the McDonalds to creep on the car from a safe distance and eat McFlurries.

********************

Levi did another shot and Eren started to sway to the side, he put his hands on Eren’s hip to steady him, “Nesha,ma,ah.” Levi laughed as Eren slurred, “I want to do some coke.” Levi smirked, _how blunt._ “Finish your shot.” Eren took it, eyes swimming with mischief, “I bet you, I kannn win tha karaoke contest.” There was a contest at this bar, Armin and Erwin were still eating ice cream from where he could see them out the window. Ilya sloshed his beer with a vodka shot in it as he came up to them at the table, “I sing against you, win, and shame you.” He sounded so confidant and so like a Russian from a stereotypical college humor movie. Maxim smirked as he sat with Levi, his body language interesting, “Like Eurovision song contest. America has no chance and is not even included.” Eren and Ilya went to sign up with fire in the bellies, an epic showdown of their countries like in the cold war and Maxim and Levi chuckled at the sight, “Do you do coke?” Maxim looked at Levi shrugging, head cocked to the side, he had his swag on intimidating those around him like a true Mafioso, “No, not really. I push drugs since things got bad so I don’t get in my own stuff, you know, bad for business. I don’t drink ever really because I have a bad history of abusing it when…well when Ilya and I did not live together anymore. He doesn’t know. Don’t tell him,” he cast his eyes down before mumbling, “Please.” 

Levi nodded, “I wont, I understand. I used to really be bad. I drank too much, did a lot of drugs. Erwin helped even me out even thought I kind of corrupted him a bit. Sometimes that’s easier to do than admit you need help. But you’re drinking tonight?” Maxim appreciated Levi’s words, he smiled friendly, “It’s Armin’s party. I’ll let myself have some fun for once. I’ve got it under control. I know when to say “stop” and move on.” “Well,” Levi began slowly, “this isn’t your stuff either.” Maxim paused before smiling, “You’re right, dis is not _my_ stuff.” Levi chuckled, _maybe he could get Ilya laid? Operation OTP was in order._ Levi nicked his head and they went to the bathroom. He sat on the toilet while Maxim made the lines at the toilet and texted Erwin, Armin, and Eren in their group text, “Let’s get Ilya and Maxim fucked up but not too fucked up and make this shit happen. I want my OTP. I have Jeanmarco and now I want M-ilya. Ha, Milya.” Armin replied, “Gaga Yasssss.” Erwin replied, “#loveislove #OPT #IWillGoDownWithThisShip.” And Eren sent him a “snap” “chat” where there was a dog mask on him. Why was he even on this stupid thing? He scrolled past the steamy videos from him and Armin, “Oh yeah, that.” 

***************

Sasha and Connie were doing body shots off each other on the bar. Sasha climbed on the bar, grabbed a bottle. It was so crowded in all of the bars and she looked to Connie who nodded. She walked down, “Free shots!” She started pouring it in people’s open mouths. Then she danced like one of the other girls at the bar that were paid to do so. This wasn’t their first heist. Connie reached over while they were all distracted and grabbed as many premade soft tacos as possible. The chef and bartender turned around, “HEY BALDIE I SEE YOU! DROP’EM!” He grinned like son-of-a-bitch and started to run out of the bar. Sasha dropped the bottle jumping down and into the crowed. They met up behind the building sitting on the curb and looking across at the bar the others were in eating their stolen tacos and feeling pretty good about their lives. 

Connie turned to Sasha, swallowed, “You wanna try to have sex tonight?” Sasha nearly choked, “What?” “I have a flavored condom.” “Connie….maybe…I don’t know. We’re older, shouldn’t we talk about it? Like seriously and junk?” Connie chewed, “Sounds like something David and Mikasa would tell us to do. But, I think we should just check it out and then go from there.” They fell back into silence until a stray dog took their tacos and they had to chase it down. Marco and Jean were on the patio of the other bar watching. They both just sighed, “Tots not worth the dog slobber.”

****************

Jean and Eren were playing flip cup, Armin was riding a bull, Erwin was for some reason half undressed and wearing a unicorn horn with a dusting of body glitter and makeup that Armin and Mikasa had put on him from some body painting station. Apparently the staff thought he wasn’t in costume and Armin snickered as they let him pick one for him. Maxim was dancing with Levi in the crowd, a few girls grinding on him, Ilya came near and stole them. he stuck his tongue out at Maxim and Maxim shrugged laughing. This intrigued Ilya.

He moved forward, “Are you?” Maxim turned his eyes towards him, “ _high!_ ” Ilya was pleased, “On what?” “Coke.” “Oh Maxi, you mafiso.” Maxim winked and Ilya’s breath hitched before he pulled on him, “Come get a drink with me.” He pulled him to the bar where they did shots. Connie held on to Sasha as she danced with Marco and the others. Mikasa was dying to get the story about what was going on between them when David came behind her, drunk but not too bad. He had a halo and placed it on her head, “You’re my angel.” She laughed at how cheesy he was, “Toda. Get me a drink without alcohol.” He smirked handing her one, “Knew you were overdue.” 

Levi watched Maxim and Ilya when Erwin appeared, “So, how goes it?” Levi bit his lip, “It’s gunna go one of two ways. First, Maxim will be straight as a board and we’ve been wrong and he’ll slap Ilya and not speak to him and then be angry while he’s gone.” Erwin grimaced, “Yuck, what’s the second option?” Levi snorted, “They’re you and me. They fight, one gives in, they like it, they keep doing it, they see what happens, they just open pandora’s box.” He paused, eyes going why, his face lit up in curious fascination and sudden concern. He mumbled quietly, seriously, “Maybe this was a mistake.” He trailed off and Erwin chuckled jollily, “Oh, you sound like you think we’re a mistake. We’re not a mistake, Levka, we’re a gift to humanity.” He leaned over and kissed him. Levi looked at him, “What are you?” “A unicorn.” ‘Gaaaay.” “Shut up, Levi.”

**************

“Push faster!” “I AM!” Giggling erupts from the two bodies as one tries to jump into the shopping cart and falls terribly on the floor with a slide and a thump. More laughter, “HEY! GET OUTTA HERE YOU HOOLIGANS!” The person in the cart starts to scramble out, falls over the side on the floor with a thud and takes the cart with him, “HAHA OH MY GOD YES!” “I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!” Both scramble up running and cackling towards the double doors snatching things and throwing them around the store.

When they get to bus stop, Erwin and Levi look at them, “Where is the maple syrup?” Armin and Eren try to contain their giggles but they just spit them out and nearly double over. Erwin sighs, “Thank God I asked Ilya and Maxim to get it.” “I buy all the syrups.” Ilya holds up to walmart bags full of syrup containers, Maxim is leaning on him and smiling, “All of them, so many of them in capitalist Amerika. You not need dem all.” Levi sighs, “Fuck all of you guys.”

Jean and Marco were dancing to trap music on their phone next to him while a fire burned in the trashcan.

Levi looked at them and then forward, sighing again, “Seriously, you’re all shit.”

*****************

Boots on the hardwood, “GOD DAMNIT EREN I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT AGAIN!” Eren turns around and looked wounded, “YOU MEAN’T DON’T BRING THE SAND IN HERE AGAIN!? I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND!” Armin stayed sitting in the sand building a castle, “Daddy, we’re gunna live in this castle, okay?” A giant sigh escaped Erwin, “Levi is going to kill me.” He looked at Armin and then resigned himself, “okay baby, but build a grave yard where I’ll be when Levi sees this.”

****************

David leaned over the table, his arm shaking, “Come on, David, you can take him.” David strained, “Neshama, do not dishonor our family.” “David is strong.” “Levi is handsome.” “David is handsome, too!” “I know but shut up, Mikasa, we’re supposed to be helping them.” Levi gritted his teeth and then, _SLAM._ The room went wild, Levi stood up, stretched his arm and so did David, “This will not stand, brother.” Levi smirked, “I’ll collect my reward now.” David sighed and walked over to the karaoke machine. He hit the disc and the song began. David had to sing all of ABBA’s greatest hits.

Everyone else ate their pancakes and tested out different syrups.

*****************

Jean takes a wrapper off of his candy and makes a small circle. He puts it on Marco’s finger, “It’s a promise ring.” Marco looks at it unimpressed, “It doesn’t fit.” “It’s symbolic.” “It’s laffy taffy.” Jean shrugged and Ilya laughed.

*****************

Armin rolled onto the bed, Eren followed him as the new kittens sat in their box and purred. Commander was with them, apparently he approved. “Baby, you never….you never opened my gifts!” Levi pulled his clothes off, “Brat, shower, now. We are covered in paint.” Eren groaned, “Sleepy.” “Now.” They went inside of Erwin and Armin’s bathroom to shower and Erwin got out Armin’s gifts from the closet. Armin screamed at his first gift which was a mermaid tail [blanket](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/83/9d/6e/839d6e028d0b9755395d5c4bc79a88a0.jpg), “I LOVE THIS!” His next gift was sweet and sentimental, a reading [pillow](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/e1/5e/e1/e15ee127c71811b430bab50be0f2f007.jpg) that Armin clutched to his chest and smiled. The next gift was a vintage [radio](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/e7/a5/6c/e7a56ccd159137c071d982bb2bd78c57.jpg) that he’d wanted for the nursery and that made him awwww and kiss Erwin repeatedly. He opened a box from Paris and smirked, “This is kind of a gift for you, Erwin.” Erwin smirked, “I know, but it was vintage, it was from Paris, it had lace and you love to wear these sweet little [rompers.](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/62/9c/e7/629ce74e8155b709d2569811d7eb9fd4.jpg)” Armin laughed and stood up taking his clothes off to put it on, “I like them because they’re silky and you can’t keep a hold of me.” 

Erwin chuckled pulling off his clothes in the early morning. They closed the blinds and Armin crawled inside the bed where Erwin joined him. He reached over stoking Armin’s jaw softly and kissed him. They moved closer and Armin whispered to him about how much he loved him and how thankful he was. When Eren and Levi came back in and crawled inside the bed they did a similar thing. It seemed both couples took their bed routine in similar turn and took the time to be thankful for the end of the day and their love. Eren held Armin from behind and they were settling in when Levi said suddenly, “I wonder if they’re fucking. I gave him a lot of coke and Ilya I think was seeing it as his opportunity for success.” Armin and Eren burst into giggles and Erwin chuckled silently shaking the bed, “God, let’s hope they get some.” Eren turned over to face Levi, “You never snapped me back!” Levi’s gave him a shocked look, “I don’t do that. I’m Levi Ackermann.” Erwin giggled, “They haven’t developed a “cranky little man” filter yet.” “That’s Instagram, daddy.” “Whatever, baby. You get me.”

**************

Maxim was on his side of the bed when Ilya stumbled into it. He was facing Maxim and looked at him, his hands smoothed the sheets in the expanse between them. Maxim felt weightless, he felt brave. They didn't speak. Ilya moved closer onto Maxim's pillow and Maxim's hands came up to his face smoothing over the fine and handsome features. His hands dipped lower, slowly, so slowly, and Ilya moved his lips forward but Maxim ducked at the last minute. He kept his face downwards as he traveled down to the hem of his briefs.

Ilya’s hands mirrored his at his waist, pulling gently at his sleeper pants. Ilya moved his head up and down against Maxim's crown of hair, nuzzling him. Maxim's finger pushed his shirt up revealing his toned lower stomach. His breath hitched when Ilya did the same. They were both moving so slowly, so carefully. Maxim pulled Ilya’s briefs down revealing his sex and Maxim closed his eyes. He paused, he took a deep breath and he waited for a second until he felt Ilya do the same and his fingers touch him gently. His fingertips trailed along his hardening length making Maxim's breath hitch and his body curl in on himself suddenly. 

They stroked each other, breaths mingling, chests falling and rising in rhythms that only they would know about each other after this night. Maxim continued to avoid Ilya’s attempts at kissing and when he was on the edge Ilya seemed to understand that something was off and he pulled away before either could find release. "Why won't you let me kiss you?" His Russian was stark against the silent night. It was beautiful and echoed in his chest making Maxim’s heart flutter. He had to voice why but he’d hoped this whole thing could pass in silence, could maybe be forgotten, "Because. ....this is just.....this is just sex. No kissing."

Ilya paused before he sighed and touched Maxim again starting their exchange of back and forth rolling of hands and sliding of palms. Maxim sighed in relief when Ilya spoke, "Then I'll have to take control since I've done it before." "W-what do you mean?" "You'll need to let me stretch you so this goes smoothly." Maxim bit his lip but he had to admit to himself he liked how this felt so far. He nodded shyly, cheeks warming, and Ilya pulled away.

Ilya smirked to himself as he quickly got off the bed and got lube. He laid back down and saw that Maxim had crossed his arms, scowling. Maxim looked at him disgustedly but Ilya merely coated his fingers in the shiny liquid. He looked at Maxim and figured he'd have to just do what he thought was best and hope it worked out. Maxim was like a cat and was prone to lashing out when he was sometimes, okay often, displeased. He pulled his own briefs off and his shirt. Maxim allowed his pants and briefs to disappear but not his shirt and then it began.

He expected him to ask for permission, something. He expected him to go back to stroking him quietly. When Ilya pulled him on his side to lift his leg and throw it over Ilya’s hip and move his own leg between his he was shocked. He felt the cool fingers at his entrance as Ilya rocked against him. His other hand came down to stroke him slowly as he circled his hole with his finger. Maxim put his head down and under his chin, pressed against his shoulder and chest. He panted and bit back potential whines and moans that would have embarrassed him to death had he let them out as Ilya slid inside slowly, firmly, and stroked him until he relaxed.

Maxim moaned wantonly as Ilya thrust his fingers inside of him searching for his prostate. When he hit it he became more vocal and undone and he knew Maxim was embarrassed by how he clutched at him and tried to be quiet. He knew that he’d have to make this damn good for Maxim to ever come around. Taking the dominant role was also a risk but Ilya had always thought that Maxim could use a good and thorough fucking and that’s what he was going to give him. Maxim’s face was flushed pink, his two colored eyes hazy, pupils blown wide, lips trembling but he only saw glimpses when he nuzzled suddenly into his shoulder. Ilya looked at him the entire time and Maxim tried to consistently hide his face from him. He was embarrassed, he’d never thought someone other than his future wife or a prostitute would see him like this. 

Ilya moved him over onto his back and hovered over him between his legs. He was searching his face for any sign that would tell him to stop but Maxim merely looked up at him, scowl firmly in place, eyes guarded, lips parted as he continued to feel pleasure . He gave him a look that was so Maxim, so….it was like he was saying “just get on with it” and then he really frowned, fed up with Ilya’s hesitation, “Well, idiot, just get on with it.” He spat but it lacked venom. Ilya nodded, careful to repress his smirk because he knew if he did that Maxim would recoil and pull away permanently. He hated being this vulnerable and oh was he right now with him. Ilya leaned forward and slid his aching length inside of the one person he’d had wanted to be with like this since forever. He started a tediously slow place, enjoying him so much, he wanted it to be like a slow burn that became a flame and then an inferno. From the feel of Maxim he already was catching fire but was he?

Maxim’s breath hitched with each thrust. The feeling, the sensation, the intimacy was overwhelming. It was like Ilya was made for this. He became flustered. His body betrayed him as he pushed back on to him. He felt like a submissive girl how badly he wanted Ilya to keep on fucking him the way he was fucking him. This was better than the sex he’d had with trained professionals. The way Ilya’s face contorted, the way it looked from this angle, the way he groaned, moaned when Maxim bucked on down his length suddenly. It was still slow, cautious, but there was heat that was undeniably there and growing. Maxim soon realized he was being scrutinized by Ilya. He turned his head the side. 

Ilya did smile that time. He couldn’t believe how cute Maxim was turning his head to the side as if he couldn’t see him anymore. He continued to commit this to memory, the first time he…what was this? Was he making love to him? Well, Ilya felt like he was but he’d never say that to Maxim who was now covering his face with his arm and panting open mouthed and occasionally letting out strangled high pitch whines. 

Ilya leaned in for a closer look and then removed his arm. Maxim turned to look at him clearly offended that Ilya had the audacity to do such. He flopped his arms down at his sides before taking his shirt and pulling it up to cover his face as he groaned. Ilya smirked wickedly leaning forward to kiss and bite his chest. He took his pert nipples in his mouth rolling them and biting them while Maxim bucked, shook, and moaned more. He shuddered, Ilya went to stroking him with experience and attention to details like letting the tip of his fingers delve into the slit, paying attention to pull the skin back since he wasn’t circumcised. When Maxim let out a strangled cry he clenched down on Ilya so intensely Ilya couldn’t hold back and came inside of him. 

Maxim felt him come inside and it was a strange experience. He didn’t want to think about how it made him feel yet. Ilya’s face was pressed against his chest , panting, hot breath washing across his skin. He let his hands trail up Maxim’s sides one last time before rolling over beside him. Maxim’s heart was beating erratically and he thought about moving or just going to sleep, “I’m sorry. I didn’t have a condom. Do you want help, you know, cleaning up?” Maxim’s face turned red, “Idiot,” he mumbled, feigning he was exasperated but in truth he’d never been faced with the need to clean himself like that so any help or guidance would be appreciated. He could let him know that, though, “You made the problem so you should solve it.”

Ilya rolled off the bed and then gathered Maxim into his arms all while he protested and slapped his arms, “What are you doing!? I’m not your Siberian bride!” Ilya rolled his eyes, voice deadpanned and tone obvious, “Taking charge and solving my problem, my Siberian Prince.” He took him into the shower and cleaned him and himself. Maxim blushed, fumed, and felt embarrassed the entire time along with a myriad of other emotions all while realizing a few things: he liked sex with Ilya. He didn’t want him to sleep with other people like he had with him. He liked the feeling of him coming inside of him and cleaning him out. He was wretched, sinful. He felt guilty that he wanted to do it again. 

He settled into their bed afterwards with Ilya against him softly snoring and wondered what this meant to him. He was left with more questions than answers.

******

The next morning Armin made his way downstairs and Maxim was right behind him. He handed him an envelope with something inside. Armin gingerly took it, “You didn’t have to get me anything.” He mumbled shyly as Maxim fidgeted with his shirt, “It’s two days early but I wanted to give it to you.” Inside was a letter written in beautiful script like Levi’s but with a sort of flair one expected to see on some sort of old parchment in a museum of art but alongside it was a bracelet with hand crafted beads and a tiny star of David and Jesus on the cross. “They’re customary to give to those you care about in our tribes. Red beads for kabala mysticism that it’ll ward off the evil eye, star of David because of you and cross for me. It’s not flashy or expensive. I’m not slinging drugs like I was in Siberia with cash to spare and I think you get plenty of cash draining jewels and gifts regardless.” He smirked and Armin pushed him to the side, “Shut up. I love it.” He put it on, “I’ll read it in private.” Maxim was thankful. He hugged him, they enjoyed each other’s company, “Wanna check on my baby?” Maxim smiled, “Sure.”


	126. Shaghayegh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song translation at the end.

Eren pouted as he watched Levi pack the car with their bags. Ilya and Marco were doing the same and Jean was unabashedly crying, “Babe, be safe and caaaall.” Marco was teary eyed as well but he was feeling excited about this journey, Ilya at his side as a guide made him feel confident, “Jean, I will. I love you so much.” Marco and Jean embraced, kissing in the driveway. Gio and Delaine stood nearby and then they embraced them. David and Mikasa were finished packing as well and were driving up with them to eat and then they would all catch their layovers in Germany before seperating. Eren petered over towards her while Carla and Grisha smiled and hugged them, lavishing them with praise. “Miki without you what will I do?” She smiled, “Call mom and dad and bother them about your baby.” Carla smiled and so did Grisha, “I’d like to see it soon, you know?”

Levi smiled slightly, “It’s upstairs. We keep it in the panic room with baby Smith.” “Baby Smith?” Carla asked quietly, “Have you not named them yet?” Levi shook his head, “We don’t know what they are and Jews don’t tend to do that. Well, Ashkenazi don’t. We wait till the child’s soul reveals its name to us. Some people have a name and then a Hebrew name but that’s not what I want for our kids. I’d rather them just have one name for them and not two. That’s how my name is and most Israelis.” Carla and Grisha tried their best to understand the foreign concepts that he was explaining to them. They both smiled and went inside the house and they followed. It was best to give the other’s their space and let them have their moments.

Levi took them up to the panic room that had been turned into a nursery. It really was nice and Zadkiel was inside of the room when they entered, “Well, hello there.” Carla gave him a surprised and somewhat questioning look. They’d never met him. Zad looked over, he was in the rocking chair and Eren smiled. Zad didn’t know that they knew, but he would read to the babies and play music while he visited with them. He made a comment to Armin and Erwin that it seemed strange and a little lonely to him that they didn’t live in them and were in a quiet room. Armin had a music player and light that changed soothing colors installed but Zad still kept his routine. He gave Carla a dashing smile, “I’m Zadkiel Smith and who are you? A rare and exotic queen from Turkey?” He winked and Levi and Eren’s eyes went wide, _oh shit._

Carla cocked her head to the side, “My name is Carla Jaeger and I think you should expand a bit more on who you are.” He liked them feisty and Eren and Levi groaned at the awkwardness that would happen when Grisha appeared, “Well, I’m Erwin’s uncle.” “And you live here?” Her eyes were piercing and her hip cocked to the side. He nodded, “Someone has to keep an eye on the kids.” Grisha appeared, “My name is Grisha Jaeger.” He stared at Zad for a long moment, “You’re not his uncle. I’d wager you’re his father.” Zadkiel laughed, shrugging nonchalantly, “Naw, he just takes after my old mug.” He stroked his face and stood up, “I’m going to get a coffee. I’ll speak with you two later.” He made his way out the door and Grisha sighed, “My gut says he’s his father.” He looked at Eren who shrugged, “I’m not getting involved.” Grisha smiled, “Probably best.”

He looked at the wombs and Carla held Grisha’s hand. Here, in these strange sacks, were their literal and adopted grandchildren. Grisha kissed Carla’s cheek, “Thank you for everything, Shahgayeh.” 

*******************

Gun fire echoed down the alley way and Marco was dropping for cover partly from instinct but mostly because he was exhausted. A hand on his back lifted him up, “Net, net, net, no time for sleeping here, Marco. Go we must now.” Ilya gritted through his teeth pulling Marco to a café up the street. He was bleeding all over and Marco tried to push down his worry. “Ilya, you’re bleeding a lot.” “Blood for my people, it’s fine.” Ilya was a strange bird but he was a life saver this month. He had made it all possible with his underground connections and friends in high places. Ilya was likable, he was trustworthy, but he was ruthless and that had been something Marco had come to fear.

They slammed through the door and down towards the back they went. There, beneath a rug tied to a string was a hideout. He pulled it back and opened the door revealing another man and a woman. They jumped down and laid flat pulling the string where they would stay till it became silent. Ilya grimaced and groaned a bit clutching his arm, “Thank you, Ilya.” “Don’t thank me. It’s like telling me you think I might will die and that I gave my life for you.” “You did, he had the gun at my head.” “It’s not a big deal. No thanking.” 

“Ilya, I see you are well.” A voice came from another side of the small hiding space. They’d not seen him since he was away from the other couple on the left side, “I’m very glad you are well.” Ilya made a choking noise, “Vlad, you’re voice is as appealing as usual.” The man chuckled, “How is my Yiddish lover doing?” Marco’s ears burned. He could understand a pretty good amount of what he was saying and Ilya’s body jerked suddenly, “I’m doing great, you know, running from the Russian loyalists, the Russian royalists, the Russian moderates, the Chinese, the occasional Mongolian, and of course, the occasional angry lover’s bed.” He chuckled and it was perfect black humor that Marco would commit to his memory.

Ilya’s black humor and Jewish outlook had really influenced Marco. It was similar to Levi’s but more Eastern. It was less Israeli and more Buddhist. The man moved closer, “Will you make your way back into my bed, Ilka?” Marco could feel his grin and the sexual spark between them ignite, “Maybe we could continue this conversation when I’m not bleeding in a hideout?” “But, when else will we ever find the time?” “We are in a coffee shop, perhaps these delightful owners will provide us some strong Turkish coffee to help rejuvenate us and of course, perhaps they’ll also be in the market for buying and selling guns?” Marco loved Ilya Nabatov and his revolutionary spirit. He also loved teaming up with him for illegal activities that Yvonne paid extra for.

****************

Erwin rolled over in the bed and Armin watched him, his head on his pillow, legs curled up towards his chest, smoothing his hand under his pillow while Erwin sprawled across the bed, chest falling and rising, face like a German god, and his legs strong and tangled in the sheets. Armin pulled his small fleece blanket over him and sighed. He’d given him a sweet sendoff full of love and tenderness. Nothing too extreme because he just wanted to be near him and him love him only like Erwin could. He closed his eyes thinking about two weeks away from him in another country. _Ughhhhhh._

Erwin stirred in his sleep. He woke up somewhat and turned over on his side, hands searching for Armin, “Armin,” his voice was soft and hoarse, “I love you so much.” Armin smiled softly, “I love you.” He wiped his eyes, “Marco and Ilya may meet up with us in France.” “Oh, that’s really good. Hug them for me.” “Armin?” “Hmm?” “I was thinking about names and the future.” “Mhm?” “And, I want to know what we’re having.” “Well,” Armin began, “I figured as much so I have an envelope with the sex in it. I think you should find out in Morocco.” Erwin snorted a laugh, “God, it’s like dating a better, younger, more attractive, smarter version of myself. I am so lucky.” Armin giggled softly, “Yeah, you got that right. Except, you wifed this, daddy.”

Erwin cleared his throat, “So, my business ideas…” “I’ve been waiting.” Erwin grinned cautiously trying to charm Armin but Armin gave him a look that let him know he was immune to it, “I want to build a clinic for Eren. Levi proposed it and I think it’s a great idea. We’ll do it on the property across the street and make it rival the school. Then, we’ll hire Mike to help with the medium to large animals and have him design the rehab yards. I think we can get more staff from the area who are looking outside of the school and then Eren won’t be so held down all the time. Levi and Grisha are still talking about the hospital but as long as Grisha is alive there isn’t anything pressing about it. He’s agreed to come on as a part time surgeon and only do the cases he wants. You know the guy who always takes care of us since the Christmas incident? He’s the new manager.”

Armin smiled, “Sounds like it’s all going to be marvelous, absolutely marvelous.” He watched as Erwin grinned, “A real pony show.” “Well have to call the authorities and warn them ahead of time of all the racket we’re going to make celebrating how happy we are. We’ll need soda pops and those real confection cakes you see in the stores up front, you know, the ones at the Sears?” Erwin burst into laughter, “The Sears! Armin! Why, we can’t afford the cakes at the Sears! That’s for those old money stuffies, not us new world carpet baggers and war profiteers!” Armin gave him a coy look, “Well, good news for you, you’re old money daddy and you’ve got plenty of dough lying around to buy me some new kitten heels and a soda pop at the Macy counter.” “How would you know about my financial status? I am inclined to believe you’re not who you seem my sweet sinful sister of my hot and humid nights!?” “Well, daddy, I’m a gold digger and gold diggers gotta dig where there’s gold and that’s right here with you. It’s too late for you, such a shame really, I’ve already got you invested in me and you’d just weep without me around.” Erwin chuckled, “You’re right. Good thing this is the roarin’ twenties. We’re gunna live forever and look damn good doin’ it!” He grabbed Armin and kissed him, “Now, let me get up and say goodbye to my other baby.” Armin pouted, “Daddy, you wound me.” “I know, I know…”

*******************

Eren and Armin saw them to the car with kisses and hugs. Eren embraced Levi fully, “When you get back I want gun play, a puppy, and my weight in chocolates.” Levi smiled into Eren’s shoulder, “No to puppies but maybes to the others.” Eren pouted, “I really might get sick when you leave. Have fun and take care. Promise me that you’ll be as safe as possible. There are all of these terror attacks and the area has seen increased militarization on their borders.” “brat, stop watching the news with Armin. Erwin has already checked it out. We’re big boys, we can take care of ourselves. We’re fucking marines.” Eren huffed, “You’re Mossad.” Levi smirked, “I’m Mossad, shit, never better. I love you.” They kissed and he got in the car.

Armin was attached to Erwin making music noises and singing, “Spider pig, spider pig, does whatever a spider pig does…”

Both boys went back inside, did some chores and then cuddled on the couch binge watching _Bring It_ the competitive dance show that Levi and Erwin hated but secretly watched, “Erwin likes _Dance Moms._ ” Eren pulled Armin closer, “Ha, Levi likes the _Prancing Tigerettes._ ”

***************

”My name is Carla.” She was so pretty, her eyes sparkled. They were green like what dreams were made of. Grisha came to eat at this diner all of the time in between his shifts. She smiled again, it was warm, “This is where you tell me your name.” he sputtered, spilling his coffee on the white plastic 50s style retro table. Her skirt was baby pink, her shirt yellow and fitted, her apron apple red, and her hair was to the side in a braided pony tail. He was speechless. She sighed rolling her eyes. She reached forward to flip his name tag up, “Grisha Yeager. I’ll remember that.” He blushed the entire way back to Children's Hospital of Los Angeles. 

**********

Grisha got a haircut, he shaved, he put a change of clothes in his bag. Today he was going to ask Carla to dinner. He had graciously accepted her smiles and free coffee for a week since she flipped his name tag over. He’d been with other colleagues at lunch and she was so radiant it had been hard paying attention to the conversation around him. He clocked out and started walking towards the diner down the street by the Turkish Consulate on Wilshire Blvd. He looked up and smiled at the blue sky and warm sun. 

And then he heard the explosion and it was hell on earth as people ran, screamed, cried, and died. He could feel them die. He could feel them leave. He thought about her at the diner and he ran.

But the diner wasn't there and there were body parts on the street. His heart clenched. She was gone.

*********

”Eren?” “Ye?” “Ha you sound so sad. You can’t even manage a whole yeah.” “Yeah, when Levi is gone it just kind of all…” “Sucks?” “Exactly.” “I want you to come up and stay a few days with us. I want to take you somewhere.” “Where?” “It’s a surprise.” “Really? Okay, that’s fine. Armin can stay with the babies and Hanji comes to check every other day.” “Alright, come up today, ok?” “Ok. I’ll just pack somethin’. Be there in two hours .” “Good. I love you, Eren.” “I love you, too. Bye Dad.”

**********

He had a trauma, artery cut, leg amputee, pregnant woman in labor, dead teenager with a splinter of wood through his head. He had men and women dying, children crying, sirens, and he wasn’t enough. He was never enough. Then he saw her, applying pressure to a wound of a child. She had blood down her face, her arm was broken, a compound break. But somehow she was working through it. She wore a red kerchief and her skirt was from India. He’d seen them on the street corners when he went there for humanitarian relief. The year is 1985 and someone had bombed the Turkish Consulate and broke her arm and destroyed the café he went to see her at. It was cruel this world they lived in. It was red like her kerchief.

**************

Carla was reading on the couch when he walked in, “Momma!” He rolled over the back of the couch onto her, “EREN! DO NOT ROLL ON THE BACK OF THE COUCH!” She hit him playfully and he laughed, “I love you!” She smiled and kissed him, “I love you. You’re dad is gunna take you somewhere special. I’ve got something for you too, but it’s not done yet.” Eren’s eyes narrowed, “What is it?” She grinned slyly, “Oh, it’s sentimental but you’ll appreciate it. Well, hopefully. Knowing you it’ll be a waste since you’re so immune to feelings.” She tapped on his head. He laughed, “Momma, be nice.”

Grisha came inside, he’d cut his hair, he was clean shaven. He crawled on the couch and they all made one big family pile. Grisha was much more affectionate than normal. Eren felt loved and he loved them for all the better for it. “Let’s go, Eren. You’re mother knows how long we’ll be gone.” Eren’s brow furrowed, “How long?” “About four days. It’s not that bad. Trust me.” Carla grabbed his face, “You’re eyes are still that….color.” She’d nearly screamed when she saw him and it had hurt him deeply. Grisha had peered at him cautiously and Carla had touched him face gently asking what and when and how. Eren wanted to ask if he wore contacts. Eren didn’t have the nerve. He was trying to get used to it.

*************

She was in surgery and he was with other patients. It was madness and chaos and everything else it could be but good. He checked on her over and over but no one else came for her. Where was her family. Finally, an elderly couple appeared claiming to be her parents. They were Turkish, the man German and the woman Hungarian as well. They spoke no English and even in this multi cultural world a translator was hard to find given the situation. He walked up and spoke to them, “Carla? She’s here.” They listened to him and he waited with them. They told him they lived in India for a long time. Carla had lived there when she was younger. Sufi Muslims were what they lived outwardly as but they were Greek orthodox and it was important that they move somewhere they could practice their faith. America had been the place after months of searching. He didn’t ask why not Germany. He didn’t like when people asked questions about what he was doing.

They told him she had wanted to go to school, “For what?” Her father immediately said nursing, her mother looked over and quietly amended his answer, “Poetry. She is too weak for this world.” He never let that harsh remark go. They would die in 1989 and it was only one of many sins he felt they transgressed against her and him.

*****************

Grisha drove with the radio on classic rock, “I didn’t know you liked rock?” Eren said as he leaned against the glass window, “I love rock. But, I like a lot of different types of music.” Eren smiled, “Where are we heading to? We’re only an hour from the Florida line. You should have just picked me up at Maria and been the better for it.” Grisha sighed, “We’re heading to Little Moscow. You’re mother and I haven’t been in years.” He trailed off and Eren looked at him, “What’s in Little Moscow?” Grisha shrugged, “You’ll see when we get there. Now, listen to this,” he turned on his IPhone, “this is mine and your mother’s song.” Eren listened, “I know this song. Levi likes it. He plays it for me.” Grisha smiled gripping the wheel, “Really? That’s nice to know.”

Delam mesle delet khoone Shaghayegh  
chesham daryaye barune Shaghayegh  
Mesle mordan mimune del boridan  
vali del bastan asoone Shaghayegh  
Shaghayegh darde man yeki dota nist  
akhe darde man az biganeha nist  
Kasi khoshkide khune man ru dastash  
keh hatta yek nafas az man joda nist   
Shaghayegh vay Shaghayegh - gole hamishe ashegh

****************

She was lying in the hospital bed when they came inside. She had come out of surgery almost two weeks ago but suffered an infection. She had a concussion. She’d been put into a lightly sedated state and this was the second day without the cloud. She looked at him and he was holding red poppies. Her scarf, which upon closer inspection had revealed the delicate needle work of them had inspired him, “Hello, my name is Grisha.” Her father suddenly said, “This is the doctor that cured your blood infection. He’s nice but he’s not orthodox so don’t get any ideas.” It stung him, it hurt. She was jarred too but she recovered quicker. She turned her head smiling at him, “Thank you, Grisha.” When they left to go to the cafeteria she thanked him again. He replied this time, “No, thank you for being my shaghayegh among the stones. It would have been much too grey without you.”

**********

What was he doing here? The priest spoke words he didn't understand and he was clearly less than thrilled with his grown convert. Grisha felt the water slide down his forehead and over his eyes, “An from this day forward you shall be a brother in Christ, George Maria.” She picked the name with her mother because he didn’t care. Grisha was a ugly name, it never was pleasing but she chose George and he didn’t mind. It wasn't a real name to him despite it being a real name. Names were names…. Carla was real to him. Carla was religion, he prayed to her every minute of the day, he pilgrimage to her shrine where he laid his head at night, he let her convince him to have faith because he had faith in her, in this, in them. 

Afterwards, they ate and drank while his hair dried, “If you want to marry Carla you have to pay a dowry. You also must promise to never take her out of the country without permission. We’ll give you some money for your children, only boys. You can’t …..” he listened to a long list of laws pertaining to his beautiful new wife.

**********

Eren got out of the car and stretched, “Sunny Beach Isles?” “ Grisha snorted, rolling his eyes, “Sunny Isles Beach.” Eren barked a laugh, “Okay, so what are we doing here?” Grisha walked up the side walk and Eren followed, “Eren, you see this house?” He did and he nodded, “This is the house they brought me to when I was six. This is where I met my adopted family.” Eren jerked, “You’re adopted?!” Grisha nodded, “And this is where I came back and they’d left me when I was almost eight. Now, they may have left but I didn’t really want to. Pretty soon they had me in foster care around the state and then I ended up across the street,” they turned, “where my life took very strange turns.”

************

”What is that?” He put the small machine in the trunk and slid it under the bed, “Nothing.” She raised an eyebrow, “They’re moving you to where?” He wouldn’t meet her gaze and his throat was dry, “Little Moscow.” “Grisha….are you working for the soviets?” He froze, “Grisha, it’s fine.” “Carla no, please I can explain,” “I am too.” She smiled, “But it’s a little different.” He sat down on the stool in the kitchen, they were so poor that they barely had furniture, “How so?” she started to pull her hair up, ran her fingers through the strands on the left side and pulled some of the hair away revealing a small “מ.” He covered his mouth, “Carla,” he stood up and walked over to her doing the same, “מ.”

*****************

“When I was six I came to America. I lived with a strange family. They didn’t like me and I just felt like an outsider. Then the agency sent me to another family and it was the same thing. I just didn’t feel loved. When I was ten they came to me and started training me.” Eren wiped his hands on his napkin. They were at a burger joint and Grisha was finished eating but not him. “Who came? What agency?” Grisha sighed, “The Russians. I was trained to be a spy. I worked until the fall of the wall for them. Your mother, too.” Eren choked, “Dad, what the fuck?” Grisha chuckled, “Yeah, it’s crazy. I’m…from what I know, I’m from Siberia. I’m Russian and they did that sometimes. But, it’s not really what you think. I’m leading up to that.”

****************

Carla leaned over and ran her hands through his hair. They were living in community housing while he worked, “Guess what?” He smiled, “What?” “I’m pregnant.” His heart fluttered and fear seized him, “Really?” She smiled, “Yeah, don’t freak out.” He was trying not to, but he didn’t know…he didn’t know what kind of father he’d be. “What if I’m a horrible father?” She laughed, “Ha, you won’t be. Plus, it’s our first. We’re both going to make mistakes.” He smiled a little at that, “Not you, Shaghayegh, you’re perfect.”

**************

He had these horrible dreams, these horrible migraines. It hurt him so much and he stopped drinking the tap water. It made it better. Carla said it was the same for her but she was pregnant. Despite his small salary he bought them bottle water and the boiled the other for cooking. Carla met with her mommy support group. She was only eight weeks along but healthy. He had just got to the office when he saw him, “Dr. Yeager?” _**No, he did not want this.**_

***********

“It started to unravel like a ball of yarn. They came, they explained that I’d been picked and groomed to help them. I refused. They were putting something in the water and had for years. I had to stop them but then I found out that I couldn’t stop them, it wasn’t going to be enough. Something else had to happen. I was motivated by fear. I started my research because I wanted to destroy them. I had to destroy them in order to save my child from a world where they would come to power and put people in cages. I called my friends in Russia thinking that something good would come of it. Instead, I was threatened and Carla’s life was in danger. I was a pawn the whole time. I’ve never been good for anything but being chosen.”

**************

The voice on the line was dark and final, “You’ll do whatever it takes and if that means doing the unspeakable then so be it. If you don’t do this, we’ll kill her. We’ll kill her and then everything you ever worked for we will expunge like a stain on a dress shirt.” There was a ringing in his ears like funeral bells coupled with the pinched dial tone.

He walked to the door and opened it. He saw her in the sliver of light from the hall and looked at her stomach. “If just one is all I need then maybe you can forgive me.”

***********

“Because your mother’s life was on the line I decided to use my first child to save her and save us. I was still plagued by these dreams that I wanted to do anything with but talk about but I had to let it go. I had to do this to prevent them from taking control. My goal was to make you, Eren. My goal was to make you from birth with the ability to not be brainwashed by them. It’s in the water, their poison. I know you think I’m crazy. I know you know there were other things going on and you know the bloody horrible studies I did. But, with their lives they gave life. With their lives they gave you to me and from you I gave the world what they needed.”

************

Carla opened the door, “This house is filthy.” She was pregnant again, but not far along. He was feeling the weight of what he’d done everyday more and more. He wanted this to be it. He wanted this to be him. They’d come when Gabriel Smith called them. He’d read Marilyn’s letters. He hated it. He hated them and he hated that fate was in control. He was woke, he saw what had happened. He knew his son would suffer and he now decided to make him faster, stronger, whatever he could along with his ultimate goal.

“Grisha, I’ll give you whatever you want if you can just take them down.” Gabriel Smith’s voice was smooth like pine, “I know this is hard, I know.” “You’re the king. It doesn’t matter what I want.” “If we can do this then they have a chance, Grisha. They will have the best chance possible. It won’t spread everywhere but we don’t have to put it everywhere, just in the right places.” “Who is going to build them?” “I’ll have Owen do it.” “Can you trust him?” “I can trust Owen to do anything. He’ll make them. We’ll place them through the school. If this goes the way I think, there will be a time,” “You mean the way Marilyn thought.” “Yeah, she said they’ll try in a last ditch to make it happen but if we can just do this it’ll safeguard us and confuse them.” “I’ll try my best but I can’t,” “You have to.” Gabriel’s voice was firm.

Grisha shook from rage, he hissed, “What if it was your son? What if it was your flesh and bone these children of mine. What if it was Erwin, your only son?” There was a long pause that stretched and stretched, “I’ve never thought of it like that.” Gabriel then hung up.

**************

“Dad, where are we going now?” Grisha’s blinker popped in the silence. They’d rehashed the blood experiments but he was waiting to finish it when they got to the one place Eren needed to see before the coming hardships, “Right here.” It was an empty field with one structure made of cinderblock with a metal door. Grisha walked over and the sea’s waves echoed around the space as the wind whipped up cold and harsh on Eren’s face. Grisha put his thumb on a space on the door and showed Eren. The door opened but there was nothing but cinderblock walls. 

Inside Grisha shut the door and panic filled Eren suddenly, “Dad,” he began, “Your key. Your mother’s key.” He pulled it out of his shirt, “This key, doesn’t open any door in Turkey. Everything you know about us, Eren, is a well crafted lie or half truth. I’m so sorry. I feel like I know you and I am guilty that you do not know me.” He put the key between a crack in the wall and turned it. A false bottom popped up in the floor revealing another metal door that required another thumb print and the key. It opened revealing stairs and they descended. Grisha showed Eren a few more things and then they were there.

It was a water pump station that provided clean water to all of the state and the south. It eventually made its way into all water sources as indicated by the different machines and the screens that were on the wall. “There are people who keep watch so their isn’t some empty shack.” Grisha said shifting from one foot to the other, “But, Eren, this is where the lies end and you get the full story.”

“My name was Gregory Venator and I was born in Siberia to a couple that lived on the outskirts of their tribes boundaries. I am a man with iron teeth and so is your mother. Grisha is a shortening of Gregory and means watchful. Venator is another spelling of Jaeger, which of course means hunter. I went by Yeager with a Y when I met your mother and we changed our names to Jaeger before you were born in an attempt to hide better. Watchful hunter, that is what I have been cursed and charged to be all my life.”

“You’re mother and I were each stolen from our parents around the age of five or six and placed with Reiss families. Our families were killed. This is something they’ve been doing for years since their numbers are waning and they need fresh blood since they are not beautifully cursed like you. Your mother and I both have these tattoos,” he showed Eren the tattoo on his skin, “and this is what all kidnapped children with iron teeth have but not always the same letter. Your mother and I have mem. It’s just a lucky surprise.”

“Those people you thought were your grandparents were not. They were older Reiss who simply took in a beautiful little girl. Carla knows everything I’m telling you and what she’s making you at home is a book about you and us. One that has answers and one that tells the truth. Your eyes, Eren, that’s why we’re here. You’re not just the coordinate holder, you’re not just the key to understanding the serum, you’re not just a symbol and product of my love and determination, you’re humanities last hope and this hope is in your eyes, in your tears.”

“Eren, I was really trying to make an antidote to what’s in the water. The way that the Reiss family infected people in the walls was through the communal water supplies. They would infect everyone in the general population, this didn’t affect minorities, and then they could wake them as titans whenever they wanted to. But, not anymore. They don’t know yet that this has been taken from them. I have worked for twenty years on keeping this a secret. Twenty years is what Owen, Gabe, Marilyn, and Fran said it would take to get the water over all the states. Eren, this is why I TRIED so hard to prevent you from dating Levi and from you all moving so fast. Once you unlocked your memories like Carla and I did, it all moves so fast and that sense, that urge to do something spurs you on. Some things take time, some things need to take _years_ to be fruitful.”

“You’re Jewish by blood, this is why you have the mutation. You’re a man with iron teeth, this is why you can be woke. You’re the coordinate holder, this is how you can stop them from waking those who haven’t had the water. You’re everything and your children are going to be all of that and more. If your children make it to adulthood they will be the ultimate force against the Reiss family that will be dying off. They can’t pass memories down, they won’t be able to wake people, they are growing weaker. But, if they get you or your child or me or Carla then they could get a leg up on us.”

“Your tears create the antidote and that’s what we’ve put in these filters. I know how to take some of your tears, and I did so when you were a child, and make artificial drops for wells and such. All of that information is in the locker in Paris.” Eren’s eyes widened, “The locker…how do you know about that?” Grisha smiled sadly, “I’m so sorry, Eren. But, we’re all connected in many different overlapping ways that I know of things but not really. I know that Gabriel had the information sent to someone who sent it there. That’s all know.” Eren nodded and accepted the answer, “Is this it?” “Your mother and I love you. You’re the only thing we ever had that was our own. We cherish you and we never want you to hate us or dislike us because we feel,” “You were cursed. That’s it. Nothing more or less. You were cursed to have to plunge your hands in blood. I’m sure mom wasn’t so pure either.” 

Grisha and Eren both smirked a little, “Your mother is a firebrand. She can destroy and she can salt the earth. I have never loved someone other than you as much as I do her.” “Will my eyes ever go back to hers?” “I don’t know.” “Do my eyes look like yours?” “Yes. I wear contacts.” “I thought so.” “Are you angry?” “No, I just….we just need to talk.”

****************

“Eren! No!” Eren walked over to fire place again and Carla had to pull him back into her arms, “You’re a terror!” He smiled, putting his hands on her lips, he laughed. He wasn’t even two yet, “He’s so happy.” Grisha was wiping glasses in the kitchen, “If he only knew how poor and sad were really were.” She said with good old Yiddish humor. “I’ve decided to ask the family for money.” She meant her pretend Turkish family of fellow stolen children, “They said they’d help us.” Grisha nodded, “Okay, but only for Eren.” She smiled bouncing him as she walked over to Grisha. Eren held his arms out, “Da-da!” “Of course,” she said softly, “anything for Eren.”

***************

Eren was at the coffee table drawing when she came in from work. Grisha was leaving, “I love you. There’s food in the kitchen.” She kissed him, “Okay, thanks.” She sat down on the couch and Eren who was four kept working away. She’d had a bad day and bills were piling up. She looked at the kitchen counter, tuna and salad mix from yesterday, “Yuck I’m so tired of being tired and being poor.” Eren walked over to her and climbed in her lap, “Momma?” She looked down and he opened a card that had a heart inside, “I love you. You’re da best momma.” She held him to her and kissed his head, “Thanks baby. I love you, too.”

**************

“What’s that?” Armin looked up at her, fear on his face, “Umm it’s…” “Did Eren bring that in!?” Armin cracked, “Yes ma’am.” His voice was so quiet and submissive she wanted to beat the life out of his shitty ass parents, “You like it here?” Armin put the ground squirrel back in the box, “Yes, ma’am.” “You wanna stay?” “Umm…” “Armin, do you want to stay here with us and Eren?” He started to cry, “Yes, ma’am.” She sighed, “I’m going to make that happen.” She went to the kitchen to call a lawyer.

Eren found her an hour or two later and hugged her, tears soaking her shirt, “Thanks momma. I love you.” She held him close, “I love you too, Eren.”

*****************

Grisha grinned against her neck as they laid in the sheets together of their private room. They’d taken Armin and Eren to the beach and it had been emotional for them all seeing how Armin reacted. “So, Shaghayegh, we get a little bit of money and suddenly you start spending it all on legal fees. I guess you can take the soviet women of justice out of the soviet but not,” she giggled pulling his arms tighter around her, “Shut up, Grisha. That’s not even a good metaphor.” He kissed her neck, “I thought it was.” “You were wrong. And yeah, fuck them and how they treat that poor innocent child. I love him like my own, Grisha. I am going to fight for him as much as I can.” Grisha pressed kisses to her shoulder, “I know. I love it. Roar!” He said it playfully and she giggled more.

Then they heard from the living room, “MOM! EWWWW! STOP IT!” Eren cried from the couch as he and Armin snuck candy from the cupboards of the condo and watched TV with the volume down. “Eren, hush!” She said and Armin giggled, “Be nice to your mom, Eren.” Eren paused, “I’m always nice to my momma. I love her.”

*****************

She had had it with this fucking school, “Let me tell you something motherfuckers, you’re going to have a lawsuit on your hands if you don’t get the fuck in order. You have a bully problem and let me tell you, where I come from if you got your ass beat you took it. That’s not how it is now. There are consequences and there are rights being infringed on here by your staff and the students you shelter!” Eren had been in another fight protecting Armin. Armin had only been in school less than two months. He was eleven. He was eleven and he was being abused while at school.

“Ma’am we are aware that some things happen. It’s natural. Kids are mean, they’re just being kids,” “You speak like someone who has never been slapped in the fucking mouth.” She heard Eren snicker on the bench next to a crying Armin. “That’s my momma.” He said proudly after she took the office staff to task. At the end of the day she took them to get McDonalds, let them watch Toonami till 5:00 and then they had dinner and went to bed. She started looking at different schools when Grisha got home, “Listen, we can have Mikasa moved into their classes.” She stopped searching, “That’s a good idea.” Mikasa walked into the living room wiping her eyes, “I had a bad dream again.” She mumbled quietly. “Come to be with me, baby.” She walked her into the master bedroom and let her climb in the middle of the huge kind size bed. She got in with her while Grisha did his night time routine.

Mikasa rolled over to face her, “I love you, momma.” Carla smiled stroking her hair, “Is Armin gunna live with us?” “Hopefully, baby.” “You’re the best momma.” Carla wanted to cry, “You’re the best daughter.”

Grisha climbed inside, gave Mikasa a kiss and fell asleep. They all woke up with Eren and Armin tangled between them in the morning. Carla and Grisha smiled, creeping out of the bed and taking pictures, “I wouldn’t trade this for the world.” She said it smiling and looked at Grisha who lowered the camera smiling too, “Me either.” “Our three little kids.” “Happily sleeping and snoring like choo choo trains.” Grisha kissed her, “I love you.” “I love you.”

****************

Eren was at the table, tears in his eyes, “What happened?” He shrugged, “Nothin’,” his mumbled reply betrayed him, “Is it Jean?” Eren flinched, “No,” he said indignantly, “no one cares about his dumb horse face.” She wondered when he was going to say he was gay. She knew he was gay. God, she just wished he’d go on and say it so she could admit that Delaine and she had been watching them, keeping up with them, and slightly excited for them. Perhaps, opposites attract is real and Eren had been very happy with him, “I think it does have everything to do with Jean.” “He’s dating Mikasa and he’s just icky and not good enough for her. He’s loud, impulsive, quick to anger, he talks loudly and too much and he’s stubborn.” 

She started to chuckle, “Oh, yeah, I know no one like that.” He gave her an offended look, “MOM!” She laughed fully, “Baby, just look at it this way, you’re gunna be okay. He’s not going anywhere because that’s just not how you all are. You, Jean, Mikasa, Armin, you’re all fated to be together and you’re going to fight, you’re going to hurt each other, you’re going to grow and some will be closer to others and then to those they weren’t, it’s ebb and flow.” He sniffled more, “Thanks momma.” “You want something to eat?” “Yeah?” “What?” “Spaghetti chicken.” “Comin’ right up, baby.” Eren pushed his books around on the table, “I love you.” She smiled getting her pots and pans out, “I love you, too.”

******************

The phone line picked up, “Hello?” “Happy mother’s day!” She smiled on the other end, “Armin, how sweet.” “I had to call you and lavish you with praise. Did you get the gift? Erwin said he got a confirmation email but I wanted to be sure.” She looked at the large flower arrangement and vintage collection of Norse Fables Volumes one through four. “Armin, this is too much.” “I want you to read fables to my children.” She wanted to cry she was so touched, “I’d love that.” “Thank you for sending me all of the information about babies and products and all of that. I was lost.” “No problem. You know I love babies. If you ever need me or something from me just ask Armin. I love you like you’re my own. Hell, you basically are and you kept your brother in line and alive so you get double points.” 

Armin laughed, “Ha, well, he’s pretty awesome. I’m excited about raising kids with him.” Armin cringed thinking that had been too much, “Armin, I can feel when you cringe. Stop worrying that I haven’t already figured it all out. Grisha’s not so good at it since he’s pretty focused on his work but I know that you and Eren are closer than friends and more than that. I know that something works with you two and that _something_ must be between Erwin and Levi too. I just want you all to be happy, healthy, and kind to one another.”

Armin sighed in relief, “Thank you. I love you.” She beamed, “I love you, too.”

****************

Mikasa pushed the cart, “David puts earphones on my stomach. He also reads to the baby, he likes to touch my stomach but he always asks,” “Oh that’s so nice. I hated when people touched me and didn’t ask.” “He literally treats me like a princess. I get flowers, candy, attention, and more. I never thought I’d ever be with a man like him.” Carla smiled stopping at a display, “Mikasa, that makes me so happy to hear. I love David and the way he handles your father when he gets so serious is refreshing.” Mikasa nodded, “David really holds us all together.”

“Are you nervous?” Carla said quietly as Mikasa nodded, “Yeah, I just want it to be healthy.” “I know they feeling.” Mikasa chewed the inside of her cheek, “Will you come help me if I need it?” Carla was flabbergasted at the question, “Mikasa,” she lamented, “Of course I would!” Mikasa blushed, “Sorry, I’m just…David is an orphan.” “Oh, Mikasa I didn’t know. I just thought that he was private or on bad terms with them.” In truth, she and Grisha never asked because they were orphans, too. They knew how it felt to be alone like that. That’s why they loved Mikasa so much. That’s why it had been so hard letting her parents die. It had been one of the hardest things they’d ever done but once they had tried to save her in a past life and it ended horribly.

“Do you love me like I’m yours?” She said seriously and Carla met her gaze, “I love you like I had you. I love you like I love Eren. I love Armin like I love Eren. I love Jean, too. Mikasa, the love of a mother knows no bounds, in life, in death, it has no end and you will feel my love for you forever. I have done for you just as I have done for Eren. I love you, Mikasa. I love you.” Mikasa wiped her eyes, “I love you, too.”

******************

Eren was away for four days, he then stayed with them for another four. When Armin called and pitifully begged him to come back to the nearly vacant house he agreed. He walked inside of Carla’s office, “Momma, do you think….do you think I’ll be a good dad?” She stopped painting, “Eren, you’re going to be an amazing father. You’re going to protect, love, you’re going to play with them and show them things they’ve never dreamed of. You’re going to be the fun puppy one. Poor Levi, he’s the mom.” She laughed and he did too. He spent a few good hours with her before he left. At the door her hugged her, he’d slept with her the night before just to be close like when he was a little boy, “I love you, momma.” She sighed into her grown son, so tall, so big, and so strong, “I love you, too.”

*****************

Grisha cleaned up dinner and kissed her cheek, “I gotta go to the hospital for a consultation.” She frowned, “At 9:00 at night?” He made a hiss, “I know. Emergency though. They might have to do surgery right away. I was requested, apparently. Is Eren’s book finished?” Carla finished her wine, “Yeah, just working on the last pages. It’s in his room with Mikasa’s and Armin’s books.” He put his jacket on, “I love you. See you.” He kissed her again and she got up to get the remote and picked up the final note she was writing and working on. He left and she started to finish her work.

*****************

They were naked in the moonlight. Carla got up to breast feed Eren when he started to cry. She sat back in the bed. The air conditioner was broken and their intimate exchanged made the room sticky and oppressive, “What we do,” she began, “is dangerous. We court danger. If it’s not the soviets, it’s the Reiss family. If it’s not the Reiss family, it’s the tribes. We lie, Grisha. We tell lies to help, to hurt, to save, to punish. We tell lies to hide ourselves and to reveal our enemies. But we somehow found each other. Somehow, we found that despite being bound by fate we could actually love each other and have loved each other and now,” she looked down at her baby, “we have him and we’ve done unspeakable things and will do more. We have doomed him to committing crimes as well in the hopes that this time he’ll live and his children will only have to tell half the lies we have. Then they’re kids will tell a quarter of those and maybe one day there will be no more lies and if we all cycle back in again it’ll be as free people, free and pure.”

******************

Grisha walked into his office. His hand went to the lights but they had been cut. Two men with a sedative and rope injected him, bound him, and they took him down to the basement pick up where he was forced into the back of a blacked out Lincoln town car. “Grisha, nice to see you again.”

**************

Carla was sleepy but she finally finished writing the copy she’d put in his book. It was a flourish of script and she loved it. She folded the paper and threw the other ones away. When she sat back down, pulling the blanket up on her, the fire place burning low, only light from the TV bathing the room, she looked at the clock thinking of Grisha, “Hmmm 1:23 am. Damn it, Grisha. I wanted to go to sleep with you, not alone.” She sighed turning to the TV. She saw something in the corner of her eye that annoyed her. She turned her head to look at whatever was reflected in the clean glass of the window. She felt the press of metal against the back of her head but she never heard the shot that was muted by a silencer. 

She saw red.

She saw Grisha among rubble.

She saw Armin in the ocean, huge grin and seashells in his hands.

She saw Mikasa dancing a solo in swan lake.

She saw Jean riding on the back of horse with a wide brim hat on.

She saw Delaine and Gio kissing by their Christmas tree.

She saw Eren throughout the years.

“I love you, momma.”

.

.

.

.

_“I love you too, Eren.”_

*********************************

  
Shaghayegh inja man kheyli gharibam  
akhe inja kesi ashegh nemishe  
Azaye eshgh ghossash jense kuhe  
dele virune man az jense shishe  
Shaghayegh jaye to dashte khoda bud  
na tu goldun na tuye ghesseha bud  
Hala az to faghad in munde baghi  
ke salare tamume asheghayi  
Shaghayegh vay Shaghayegh gole hamishe ashegh  


  
Davidim o davidim o davidim be shabhaye por az ghesse residim  
gereftar sarneweshtamuno taghdir - vali ma aghebat az ham boridim  
Shaghyegh akharin ashegh to budi  
to mordiyo pas az to asheghi mord  
Toro akhar sarabo esgho hasrat  
poshte golkhunehaye atashi bud  
Shaghayegh vay Shaghayegh gole hamishe ashegh  


  
Shaghayegh vay Shaghayegh gole hamishe ashegh  
Shaghayegh inja man kheyli gharibam  
akhe inja kesi ashegh nemish  
Asire ghofle sangine sokute  
labi ke ghesse gu bude hamishe  
Shaghayegh ey Shaghayegh  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shaghayegh: Papaver or Poppy
> 
> hey shaghayeg, my heart is full of of sorrow like your own heart  
> my eyes are a sea of rain   
> but it’s easy to be interested  
> shaghayeg, I don’t have just one or two pains  
> because my pain is not from strangers  
> my blood has dried on somebody's hands  
> they’re cannot be separated from me, not even for a moment  
> oh shaghayegh. oh eternal lover, my flower  
> shaghayegh, I am a stranger here  
> because no one falls in love here  
> Mourning for love is a big as a mountain  
> my destroyed heart is made of glass  
> shaghayegh, you were my last lover  
> you died and love then died after you  
> Mirage and love and regret bring you  
> to the end of a lonely greenhouse  
> oh shaghayegh. oh eternal lover, my flower  
> we ran, we ran, and we ran  
> we reached only nights of sadness  
> fate tied our destiny  
> but separated from it at last  
> shaghayegh, your place was in the field of God  
> not in pots nor in stories  
> now only this remains of you  
> You are leader of lovers, you are the creator of love  
> oh shaghayegh oh eternal lover, my flower


	127. Moroccan Honeymoon

Eren sat up in his bed suddenly, pain in his chest. His phone rang and he expected it to be Levi telling him that they were about to head to the airport and make the long journey to France and then home. But he didn’t know the number. He let it go to voice mail but he kept feeling like something was wrong. The phone started ringing again and he picked I up, “Hello?” There was silence on the other end and then words he would never forget. He let the phone drop when they hung up. He moved quickly, but cautiously, out of bed, dressed, and then started to really think about it. This wasn’t real. He was lucid dreaming, had to be. 

He thought about calling Jean since he was with his mother and Gio but that was stupid. He walked out into the hallway and then to Armin’s room. He had fallen asleep in Erwin’s shirt, Carla’s quilt wrapped around him that she’d made him when they failed at adoption. Opa Arlert, however, had come to the rescue. He thought about waking him. He was dreaming and that would be silly. He went to the kitchen and made coffee. He put his shoes on and then called the house phone. It rang endlessly. He called his father, nothing. His mother, nothing. This wasn’t like them. They were attentive and always answered promptly. He called the hospital, “Eren? Oh, hey buddy, your dad had a private meeting at 9:00 pm. Emergency consulting. But…..he's not here. Funny, he didn’t log out. I’m going to check on it and give you a call back, okay?”

Eren went to his car immediately and started the long drive. He’d have it easier since it was so late, 1:40 am now, he’d get there at 4:00 or a little after. That’s not too bad to wake someone up for if he was even awake himself. He’d had some pretty convincing lucid dreams before. 4:00….That’s kind of breakfast. He left without leaving a note but that was fine. He wouldn’t be gone too long.

*********

**weeks earlier….**

“That camel hates you.” Levi smirked as it moaned next to his while they rode along the trail. Erwin was smiling like a fool, “I think it’s a little like you therefore, it actually loves me.” Levi turned his head away and sighed, “Maybe.” 

*********************

They had arrived at the airport but security had been tight. Levi shocking was being very affectionate and moved to snuggle into Erwin as they waited, “Hold me till this is over.” Erwin nearly fell over, “Of course, my dear concubine.” His arm wrapped around him protectively, pleased he was able to and even asked to. Levi sighed into him, “I'm glad to be here with you.” Erwin sputtered at the sudden statement, “Are you okay? Do you have a fever?” Levi scrunched his face up, “No, I’m fine. What the fuck is wrong with you?” Erwin chuckled, “You never say nice things about me or to me.” Levi tched, “Whatever.”

*********

The hotel in Fez was beautiful. Most people liked to boast about how “real” they were and how “native” they lived when they traveled. Well, after living in the middle east against their will for so long they’ll take the pompous high thread count sheets and bottled water and room service. Levi was dragging and they’d only be here for two days. When they got in the [room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/83/62/fe/8362fee0826541fe4dd57b974be4a838.jpg) he collapsed on the bed, “Fuck me on this big ass bed.” Erwin burst into laughter, “My God, Lee. You’re a poet.” He looked at Levi’s face, eyes covered by his hair, wicked smile forming and halfway obscured by the sheets, his voice was low and deep in his chest as he slowly and darkly chuckled, “Have you still not figured this out?” 

Erwin paused, he truly didn’t understand, “Um, no…it’s a trip to have…fun?” Levi laughed, “This is our honeymoon we never got, Erwin.” He was floored, “A-are you serious?” “Yes, I just wanted us to be alone and you know, become closer.” “Why?” It was a serious question. Levi was always so abrasive even when they were being close. For him to have done this was almost unthinkable. Erwin simply could not understand and thus, he stood like a statue, brain going haywire and short-circuiting. 

Levi got off the bed and moved their things in the room before standing in front of him, “Erwin, come on. We need a nap in order to make the most of these short two days before we have to leave for the next city.” He took his hand and led him to the bed. Erwin was still lost but when Levi uncharacteristically pressed close to him, humming slightly as he settled in he decided to soak this up as much as possible. He never thought he’d ever have a willing Levi and he wanted to see how this “honeymoon” would go.

***************

They woke up and got lost in the medina streets. They walked and walked till their feet were throbbing. They drank freshly squeezed orange juice and mint water like what Eren made for Mikasa. Levi held his hand as they walked and Erwin felt so…so….blissful, “Lee, you know we can get in trouble for openly displaying affection like this.” Levi was finishing his small snack he got from a food stand. They’d agreed to find somewhere to eat after they finished their tour of the tanneries and dye pools. Levi looked up at him, long lashes casting shadows on his face, “Erwin, I’d be honored for someone to be so offended that I love you to even try and step to me like some punk ass bitch.” Erwin thought he might be dreaming. Surely he was dreaming. “Lee, I…” Levi pulled them into another store and asked in perfect Arabic about potential places to eat while Erwin got a few things for Armin. He was so in love with him.

************

The Red City, Marrakesh, was hectic, bustling, and total madness. Levi found it to be somewhat overwhelming at certain moments and allowed Erwin the precious opportunities to comfort him. They laid in their [bed ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/07/2b/a2/072ba24e66a730171250415ad95718f7.jpg)one night after coming back to take a nap and he let Erwin trace his features with his fingertips. “I think that we should go to that roof top restaurant we passed by the market. I hear there’s a place you can dance to local bands, too.” Levi’s hand covered his, he brought it to his lips and kissed it, “Okay.” Erwin surged forward, capturing Levi’s lips. They moved slowly, their inhalations of air filled the space of the room, their lips barely parted, hot breath mingling, teeth and tongue. 

Erwin’s hand gripped the back of Levi’s head and neck while one of Levi’s hands clutched the back of his arm and shoulder and the other moved down between them, palm pressing up and down against Erwin’s growing erection. Erwin pushed him over on to his back, hands smoothing up his stomach pushing the fabric of his shirt up. He leaned down pressing kisses to his stomach while he pushed it up further for Levi to remove it. Levi’s head rolled back, his back arched, a hiss escaped his lips as Erwin bit softly around areas of Levi’s body he knew were sensitive. He suckled the small patch of skin above his right hip that drove Levi crazy making him whine openly, high pitched and desperate.

Erwin’s eyes smoldered as he uncovered and laid bare before him Levi. Levi’s hands kneaded the backs of his biceps, something that drove him wild as well. His lips parted as he sucked his fingers, pad of his tongue dragging across their worn tips. Erwin moaned as Levi moved to sucking forcibly on the skin between his thumb and pointer finger. Erwin’s thighs shook as he enjoyed the sensation thoroughly and the sight before him made his body flush with heat.

Levi was always delightfully gifted when it came to bottoming. His hips moved in mind bending ways and Erwin was at his mercy from the moment he slipped inside of him. He could control every movement Erwin made with turn of his hips, a lift here and there, he tightened around him, he’d bend to touch all the places that made Erwin weak. Levi flipped them over, hips rolling, back arched as he lifted off of him letting Erwin slide all the way out. He rubbed up and down his length using the cleft of his ass and Erwin moaned as only he did with Levi like this. Levi’s hand came behind him to grip his cock and slowly slide him back inside. Something heady always permeated Levi’s aura that made him submit even when he thought he was in control. 

**************

When they finished Levi stretched out on his chest yawning, “Not bad, old man.” Erwin chuckled, “I can do better. Just needed a warm up.” “Let’s get food.” Levi patted his chest and moved to roll off of him, “Are you not going to shower?” Erwin said incredulously as Levi dressed, “No, I want to smell you on me.” Erwin’s cock gave it it’s best shot at hardening at the implications of that for Levi. “Levi, damn, you’re so fucking hot.” He smirked, lopsided grin forming, “I know.” He went back to clothing himself while Erwin rolled off the bed and did the same.

*************

“Where leaving today and you wait till now to buy something?” Levi had the shirt in his hands, he cast a glare at Erwin, “It’s for Eren and I just saw this. It spoke to me.” His phone rang, “Ima,” Erwin thought that was strange, “Hello?” Carla told Levi that when Eren told her of their trip she called up an old friend, “Are you going to Essaouira by any chance?” Levi snorted, “Today we head there.” “Oh good, my friend Mehmet runs a crepe restaurant. He owns boats, too. Tell him I sent you and he’ll show you a good time.” Levi thanked her and ended their conversation asking what he favorite color was, “Red.”

He tilted his head, “Really, why red?” “It’s raw.” He had a strange feeling as he looked at the people in the market and felt Erwin shift around him looking for things for Armin as well. Who was he kidding? Erwin couldn’t resist picking things out for Armin, “Carla,” she tisked, “Ima,” “Ima, I feel like there’s something going on.” She started to laugh, “Wow, what a paranoid thing to say.” He snorted, “Yeah, sorry.” “Just do it, have fun, be safe and I love you.” He seized up a bit but decided to put it aside, “I love you, too. Thank you.” They finished their conversation and Erwin held up a small dress, “This is so cute.” Levi smiled dashingly, “You’re cute.” Erwin blushed, “Lee, calm down. We’re outside where people might here you say something nice.”

**********

Essaouira was relaxing like France. They checked into their hotel and it was stunning. They met Mehmet at his restaurant and he seem amused that Carla sent them, “I know her cousins in Turkey. She was engaged to my cousin but she broke bottle of wine over his head, then she leave and say she won’t marry him. She say that he fucked his brother.” Levi nearly spat his coffee on the table. Erwin leaned over slapping it, crying while laughing. Mehmet smiled as he waved over a girl to bring more food. Levi regained some control, “Well, did he?” “My cousin?” He leaned back pointing at himself, “Of course he fuck his brother, what she gunna make someding like dat up?”

************

They spent the next day on his boat and on the beach. Today was their last day in this walled city and Levi decided to spend it going to shops, eating, and then swimming in the pool in their [room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/8d/72/79/8d7279d79a196196c21090369ee6f5bf.jpg). Erwin stood out of the small wading pool, “I wanted to ask you something.” “What?” Levi was on the couch sipping tea, “I have an envelope with the sex of my baby in it.” Levi patted the seat next to him, “You want to know without Armin?” “Yeah, he knows I do and sent it with me.” He sat down with it, “Okay, here I go.” He opened the envelope with Levi leaning over him to look. “Oh,” Erwin said as he got to the results, “wow.” Levi smiled, “Are you happy?” “Of course, I’m just a little scared.”

Levi moved into his lap kissing him, “I’m scared, too. But, it’s going to be good.” Erwin kissed him, “I am enjoying honeymoon Levi a lot.” Levi chuckled leaning his head against Erwin’s, he whispered tantalizingly, submissively, pleading, “Stay with me.” It was like a breath of fresh air to Erwin, “Please, Erwin, I need you to stay with me forever.” He took his bottom lip in his mouth pulling it gently, “I know I’m hard to take, that I’m frustrating, that I resist you, but I only do it because I can’t handle how much I want you, how hard you are for me to resist, and you frustrate me so with your superior beauty of mind and spirit. You’re enayim sheli, you’re one of the great loves of my life.”

Levi and Erwin kissed slowly, passionately as the paper fell to the floor and Erwin’s hands rubbed up and down Levi’s back. Erwin thought that Levi was trying to kill him. In truth, this is all Erwin ever wanted. He wanted a willing Levi, an open Levi, a loving Levi. He wanted to be able to hold him, love him, and it was almost too much for him. “Levi, I just,” he pulled Levi back, “I don’t understand why you’re being so nice to me. Are you going to kill me?” Levi froze, “You think that I’m only being nice because I want to kill you? You don’t think that I really love you? That I’ve lived with you this long and that I’m just faking it? Do you think that I fake our kisses? Our intimacy?” Levi slid off his lap, “Maybe this is why I don’t give you what you want, what I want? Hmm? Because maybe I’ve always feared that if I did you’d react like this and not want me anymore?”

Levi grabbed the bottle of liquor the hotel had. He went to the bed room and shut the door. Erwin stayed on the couch thinking about all that had just happened, “Erwin,” he said to himself, “you’re supposed to be a smart man. You are not a smart man.” He had forgotten he was dealing with an abused alley cat and got up to walk towards the room. He knocked, “Lee, please, I’m sorry that I was so stupid. It’s all my fault that I ruined our moment, I’m sorry. Pleeeeaaaaseee Lee.” 

****************

He begged for almost three hours before Levi opened the door, drunk, eyes red from crying. Erwin took him in his arms and lavished him with love, “I’m so sorry.” His voice was hoarse and Levi curled into him, “Don’t you ever do that to me again.” Erwin nodded, “No, I was such an asshole. I will never question you again like that. I love you so much that I was scared that this was some dream or I don’t know, that maybe I had cancer you couldn’t cure and hell, maybe you were a cyborg,” “You’re literally doing what I asked you not to do right now.” “I am such a stupid man. Let me give you a blow job.” Levi snorted, “Apology Blow Jobs…I guess that’s great.” 

Erwin snickered, “I’ll blow your mind.” They went back into the bed room where Levi fell asleep in the middle of the blow job that Erwin thought was going to be a smashing success. It hurt him more than he’d like to admit. Levi laughed about it in the morning adding salt to the wound, “Maybe you should practice. You’ve been receiving too long.”

*************

The next town and last stop till they returned to Fez was Chefchaouen. They had a villa to themselves, the only one in the town. [Inside](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/7a/8e/01/7a8e015876486f931ed6bce521d1a200.jpg) it was marvelous and decadent. [Outside](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ae/d2/af/aed2af143910ceec38a535045bf8c456.jpg) though there was a real pool or at least one that you could swim in and it made Levi smile, “I’m going to get in that as soon as possible.” Erwin smiled and then watched as Levi climbed over the railing and down the column to the water. He stripped completely as he got in the pool swimming the backstroke and casting provocative looks at Erwin, “Come get in the pool, daddy.” Erwin nearly broke his neck rushing to get down there.

“You can’t call me daddy.” He swam over to Levi at the end. He’d reached over grabbing some rose petals, “I can call you what I want.” Erwin watched the petals float in the water towards him. Levi’s voice was enticing and sinful, “This water tastes like mint.” Erwin moved over him in the water to take him by the shoulders. He moved his head down and licked and sucked the exposed alabaster skin between his shoulder and neck. Levi closed his eyes, letting his head fall to the side. Erwin hummed pulling back, “Tastes good.” Levi’s lips quipped up into a smirk.

*************

They decided to go to town and do something fun and vanilla. “What the fuck is that?” Levi looked over from his clay at Erwin, “It’s a kitten.” Levi stared, “It’s pitiful if that is so. It wouldn’t make it in the real world. You do know ears are pointed, right?” “Shut up, Lee. What is that?” “This,” he looked down, “is an ash tray.” Erwin snorted, “Wow, so fucking hard.” “With intricate Hebrew calligraphy of my wedding vows that I will give my sweet husband for him to put his keys in on his night stand and occasionally put out a blunt or cigarette when we get crazy. I even wrote a message of love to him, too.” Erwin stopped working his clay, wrung his hands of the water and slapped them on his knees, “You know what, fuck you. Fuck you, you perfect fucker.” Levi smiled, “Oh, you want to fuck this.” Erwin smiled, “Yeah, I do. I am.” Levi got up to take his work to the oven, “No, Erwin, you’re not.”

**************

Erwin’s face was slammed into the flimsy bathroom stall wall. He moaned wantonly as one of Levi’s hands gripped his hair and the other pulled his hips back. Levi pistoned into him, hips slapping against the flesh. It had started with Erwin servicing a glory hole in his high and drunken state, turned out it was a good idea because he made up for his last lackluster attempt. It made Levi extremely hot to do things like this and Erwin played it up for him with his debased bathroom slut routine.

They filmed it. Not really to send to Armin and Eren but more for themselves. They liked doing that and for not so typical reasons. They used it as blackmail and in pissing contests between them. One would fuck the other, film it, and then remind them of that instance they were bottom bitch. It was really a byproduct of their marine steroid induced power hungry formed by the American government selves. This time Levi was getting to enjoy the high that came with power. He came, moaning and slamming deeply inside of him. Erwin groaned like a whore, “Get on your knees, bitch.”

He pulled out of him letting Erwin get on the floor, “Open wide,” he forced his cock into his mouth, “you taste yourself on my cock, you little bitch? You like that? Like how it tastes?” He held the phone up that he’d taken from Erwin before he let him down, “Look at the camera.” Erwin’s eyes were wide and so blue, pupils dilated, his face covered in sweat, hair disheveled and lips stretched, “touch yourself pretty boy.” Levi’s other hand gripped his head by the roots of his hair, “Do it well. I wanna rewatch it with your husband and show him how fucking whorish you are.” This is how they spent their night. They danced, they drank, they ate, they fucked, and then they swam when they got home. The next afternoon they woke in their bed, headaches pounding, and small clay creations ready to take back home.

**************

Levi rolled over and looked at a happily waking up Erwin. Levi smirked mischievously before hitting play on his phone, “Oh yeah, suck that cock.” The moans were heady, the music from the club in the back, the sound of Erwin gurgling. Erwin’s brows furrowed, he looked very cross, “Not funny, Levi.” Levi stretched, “I think it’s one of the best.” Erwin looked at the ceiling, “Send it to the boys, let them decide.” Levi and Erwin had been in contact with their husbands but not that much. The connections were bad, the time difference hard, it was just texts and snap chats that could be viewed at their leisure. “I miss Eren.”

Erwin picked his phone up, “I’m gunna call Armin while we have a minute.” He waited till he picked up, “Baby, how are you?” He spoke with Armin a bit and then he seemed to be confused, “What do you mean?” He finished his talk and then turned to Levi, “Apparently, Eren went to stay with his parents for a week and left Armin alone.” Levi’s face was nothing but confusion and shock, “He didn’t mention that to me. I mean, he can do that but….leaving Armin is so strange…” “Armin didn’t seem too upset.” “He...yeah, you’re right.” “We’ve got to head to Fez and I just can’t seem to bring myself to get out of this bed.” Levi smiled, “Come on, our journey is long.” He kissed him and they started to pack up.

***************

Back in the airport Levi hid himself in Erwin’s chest as they stood waiting for their flight that for some reason had landed and they called to board but were not letting anyone on. “Hold me.” He pleaded and Erwin wrapped his arms around him rocking them. Levi wrapped his arms around his waist, “I love you.” Erwin smiled. He pressed a kiss to his head, “I love you, too.”

**********

They landed, exhausted, still hung-over because the jet lag didn’t help. Levi pulled his luggage to the taxi, “Let’s get this shit and go.” Erwin nodded and they were off to the bank. They passes tanks and military control check points. The world was insane.

Levi went through carefully picking what they could have sent over and what they should leave in order to check on later. He found something very interesting though. A binder, bound and wrapped with leather, “Erwin, look at this.” Erwin went through the binder, “We need to take this on the plane. The other stuff can be shipped. I don’t think we should take a lot because it’s safe here. This place is safe but Maria might not be.” Levi nodded, “I hate that you’re right.” “Marco and Ilya won’t be meeting us.” “Did they text you.” “Yes, Marco says the flights are closed. He has to stay low. Ilya’s….got them staying with his ex-boyfriend.” 

Levi locked the locker back and swerved around, “HIS WHAT!?” Erwin nodded, “Might get back together from what Marco says.” “NO! MILYA!” Erwin shrugged, “It must not have been meant to be, Lee. Sorry.” Levi swore under his breath something in Yiddish, “No, no, no, I’m going to be a good Jew and wait. I won’t give up till one of them is dead.” Erwin snorted, “Okay. Let’s go catch our other flight.” Levi picked up their bag with the materials, “Yeah, I miss Eren.” “TELL ME ABOUT IT. My sweet baby is all alone and in need of spoiling.” “You know, I have started to wonder if your lifestyle could be a negative influence on our future daughters.” 

Erwin paused, “Well, Levi, if 1. They find someone like me who loves them like I love Armin then that’s fine by me because I love him and 2. If they decide to become sugar babies then I guess that’s fine because they’re just strong independent women who know that if men really want it they’ll pay for it. Isn’t that exactly how you operate?” Erwin’s dig silenced Levi who had his world shocked with that revelation, “I guess I’d just rather them never grow up and just want to marry us and love us.” Erwin smiled, “Oh, I’d love that.”

***************

They landed and got in the car, “Erwin, my eyes…” Erwin handed him a water bottle, “I know, but at least we got some sleep.” Levi deadpanned, “It was shit.” “I agree. But, we’ll be home…in almost two hours with traffic.” Levi grimaced and barred his teeth, “No, I’m going to get there in an hour.” “Levi, no,” “Yes, put your fucking seat belt on.” “Why? If I die, you’re going to come into an ass ton of money.” “I’m not on your plan anymore, idiot.” “Um….bout that,” Levi whipped his head to side, scathing tone of sarcasm, “OKAY JEAN! WE DON’T NEED ANY UNNECESSARY BULLSHITTERY!” 

**********

When they pulled up Erwin laughed, “You got us here in one hour and fifteen minutes.” Levi tched, “If only that fucking wreck hadn’t happened. Stupid fuckers can’t drive.” Erwin grinned, “Yes, fuck accidents because they impede us.” “Exactly.” They got out and grabbed their things walking inside quickly. They just wanted their boys.

Erwin and Levi were in the foyer when they saw Armin at the kitchen table. It was an odd heavy feeling in the room. He was just bent over, cell phone in his hand, unmoving, it was like he wasn’t breathing. Erwin stepped forward cautiously, “Armin?” He came closer and started to extend his arm to touch him when Armin’s voice, tone warning and deadly serious, “Don’t touch me.” Erwin’s arm froze, his hand twitched. Zad came inside in a rush, “Let’s go. Hanji is coming over.” He paused pulling his coat on, “Oh, you’re…back.”

Armin stood up shakily, “Come on.” His hands shook, his entire body shook and it took a lot of effort to not lose it. “Did you take your pills.” “Yes.” He hissed through clenched teeth. His next words were through them, pleading, rising in pitch and raspy in whispery tone, “Lets. Go. Now.” He looked up, eyes full of tears, face pink, “You promised.” His voice broke, “I can’t.” He turned to walk out of the kitchen and to the front door, his hand made the metal decorative pieces on the door rattle, “I’m going to the car.”

Zadkiel ran his hand down his face and Levi looked around, “Where is Eren?” Zad cleared his throat, “In Shiganshina.” “Why?” “Because something horrible has happened.” Levi stared, “What!?” Zad blurted it out, “Grisha Jaeger shot and killed his wife Carla. He is missing and the police are searching for him. Eren is being held as a possible suspect.”


	128. Wake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Der springt noch auf." - "That one is still moving."

In the holding room Eren sat, eyes white. The police officer had become frightened and left. They were going to release him. The call to the hospital, the GPS on his car that Levi had put, his phone records, and then the alibi of Jean, his mother, and Gio were all getting him cleared. They had heard him, Gio getting ready to go to Atlanta had him taking the trash out at four before he left. He canceled his trip.

Eren was trapped in his mind.

  
“I toppled beside him — his body already taut,  
tight as a string just before it snaps,  
shot in the back of the head.  
"This is how you’ll end too; just lie quietly here,"  
I whispered to myself, patience blossoming from dread.  
"Der springt noch auf," the voice above me jeered;  
I could only dimly hear  
through the congealing blood slowly sealing my ear.”  


”Der springt noch auf.”

He was near the long ditches in Ukraine.

He looked at Levi.

His face was bloodied and his eyes wide.

It had only been a few nights since he chased him down.

When he chased that girl into the forest.

The Jewess he’d purposefully not shot.

pow

“Der springt noch auf.” 

pow

“Der springt noch auf.” 

pow

Momma, who am I?

Pow

Would you even know me?

Pow

This son of yours?

Pow

Momma?

Pow

“Der springt noch auf.”

Pow

Eren covered his ears. The TV in the front showed them only what was happening, there was no sound. He simply bent over, fingers pulling in his hair, mouth open in an animalistic scream. He screamed and screamed.

*****************

Eren showed up to the house. He opened the door with his key and walked inside. He didn’t want to look where they told him to. He didn’t think he was dreaming anymore.

He checked their bed and she wasn’t there.

Gio watched through the windows in the dining room as he approached from his driveway: the moment when Eren’s body went stiff, when it twitched, when he suddenly bent forward, hands gripping his shirt wrapped around his gut. His scream was something that Gio would never forget. He rushed in and she was there, on display. Blood stained the hardwood and beige couch and pillows. Eren was distraught, screaming for his mother to wake up, to wake up, to wake up….

Gio threw part of her rob over her and clutched Eren, turning him around and away from the sight. He became violent and Gio had to restrain him. The sound was heard by Delaine who woke up that morning to see Gio off. Jean was still awake from the previous day, having been painting non-stop. They dropped their things, they ran over. Jean called the police. Delaine checked her best friend’s pulse. It all happened so fast.

“Der springt noch auf.”

************

Jean came to get him, “Come on.” Eren didn’t say anything and his grey eyes made him look even more colorless. Jean had felt this helpless before but now, there was no hope she’d be making a return like Armin. He just collected him and brought him to the car. Eventually, Eren shut down further, no tears, no facial expressions, nothing. Gio said it was shock and could last a while. Delaine tried her best to hold it together for him and not openly grieve herself. When they were close to the house she cringed knowing he could see his house right outside. Eren didn’t seem to care.

****************

Eren was berated with papers and information about funeral arrangements by the police and a mysterious family lawyer he had seldom seen since he was little. He wasn’t responsive at all. Delaine and Gio took over and left what he needed to do or sign to the side. They couldn’t understand what the lawyer was talking about despite their close relationship to the Jaegers. Something wasn’t right with her birth certificate or Grisha’s. It didn’t make any sense to them. They also argued that he couldn’t have been involved until another call from the police to Delaine was received. She’d dated one of the officers and he was calling as a courtesy to give her updates on the side. Gio was thankful there were a few kind people left.

**************

Eren came to Jean like a zombie, “You need to go with me to my house. I have to find something.” Jean peered at him cautiously, “Now?” “Yes.” They went over and Eren found the books for him, Mikasa, and Armin. There was a letter for Jean. He gave it to him. “What’s in those?” Eren became defensive, “Just memories.”

_Memories that will unlock secrets…_

**************

Eren opened the book and started reading. It was just to be closer to her, closer to her writing. All that was left of her. He held the book to his chest, inside it was so heavy with the weight of knowledge. He was consumed by one thought, _“Momma, Dad, I wish I’d gotten to know you better.”_ When they heard another car pull up they braced themselves for more police but it was just Armin who ran inside looking for Eren. Levi followed numbly and Erwin and Zad after that. Armin rushed to find him, “Eren!” Things were absolutely horrible and Armin and Eren shared the collective dread of calling Mikasa. 

Eren dialed David and handed the phone to Armin in hopes he could keep her and the baby safe. 

********

Israel was beautiful and the day had been cool and sunny. David and Mikasa were walking down the street towards their apartment. They’d loved living in Israel this month and couldn’t wait to have their baby. She held his hand licking her vanilla ice cream cone as her dress moved around her stomach. Mikasa didn’t like being touched in general but she let the orthodox and Haredi women touch her and say a prayer over her. She loved how children were regarded here and she loved the genuine love that seemed to permeate everything. David was the happiest man in the world and his coworkers and friends made his chest feel with pride over their envious and jealous glances his way. He never thought he'd have anything this perfect. 

His phone rang and he picked it up. They kept walking. David’s body language shifted and she could tell. She looked at him but his face was unreadable. They kept going till they were home. The phone call was short.

Mikasa didn’t understand why an equally pregnant Chaya was there in a few minutes with a bag from the pharmacy and her husband looked morose as he took off his hat and put it on the table. David took her hand, “Mikasa, you should know that that was Armin who called on behalf of Eren.” Her body was tense, “Is Eren?” “He's fine but….”

In the yard outside a woman was wiping her three children’s hands and faces after finishing their ice creams on the warm and sunny day.

*********

Eren shut right back down after speaking briefly with Mikasa. He signed papers because he didn’t have to talk nor would he have anyway. Words…..he now understood why Erwin stopped all together when they thought Armin was gone forever. He was told the lawyer would come after the funerals to Maria as a courtesy and he left with Delaine and Gio happy to see him go. Marco called and offered condolences and Jean spoke with him about it.

Carla asked to buried in Maria in the Jewish cemetery by the reform temple. Grisha and she had bought plots after Eren was married. Apparently they wanted to be where their son would be living and possibly buried one day as well. Eren was touched but he also knew that people like them simply had no home and wherever he was is where they’d be. Perhaps he should have her cremated instead and go to Siberia. He settled on waiting. 

Levi was helpless as he watched Eren move robotically and not speak to anyone, not even him. Armin was just as bad but he seemed to understand Eren and they didn’t need words to communicate. Erwin was able to pull Armin out and he took his medicine diligently. Erwin didn’t need Armin’s words but he wanted them nonetheless. Levi, he did need Eren, he needed Eren’s words to tell him it was all okay.

He rolled over to face him the morning of her wake, “I feel strange not sitting shiva for her.” Eren was staring at the ceiling but he nodded. Levi touched his arm, “We will sit shiva.” Levi pulled him closer and held him humming Mi Sheberach. 

***************

Hanji and Mike appeared in the receiving line with Mila. She was laying on her mother’s shoulder, thumb in her mouth, she’d been crying, “What’s wrong with her?” Levi asked brushing her hair back tenderly, “She’s teething, got a low fever, and, well, she feels us, you know, being sad.” Mike put his hand on Hanji’s shoulder, “Levi, what can we do?” Levi sighed, “Mike, I just think you should help Erwin. Eren is…he’s even a mystery to me right now.” Hanji’s eyes became moist and she blinked, “Oh, Armin, god, this is all so horrible.” Mike looked to them, “Armin was almost adopted by the Jaegers three times. It was a long and painful thing.” Mike nodded, “Shit, this is bad.”

“We got a call.” Hanji looked at him, “About what?” “They’ve got a body. We went to the morgue. Eren was asked to identify it.” “Of Grisha?” “Yeah. It was him.” Hanji gasped, “No!” They kept their voice down, Levi kept a hand on Donner, “They found him in his car outside of the hospital. He’d shot himself and left a note asking Eren to forgive him, something about being his son and how he had to fix it. Whatever that means.” Mike shifted, “I don’t buy it. I don’t buy him killin’ her.” 

Levi sighed, eyes filling with tears, “Mike, I was the same but….He’s on tape doing it.” “What?!” “Grisha and Carla have a security system like ours but maybe a bit too paranoid of a model. They have cameras everywhere and they have Grisha standing behind her, shooting her. He came home, used his key, walked behind the couch, pulled out the gun, killed her, got back in the car, left, and shot himself. The time of death checks out, no other prints in the house, the gun was registered to his, bullets match up. He killed her and then himself. His wake is tomorrow and then both of their funerals will end up in Maria the day after.”

Hanji wiped their face, “Oh God.” Mila looked at them and touched their face. Hanji kissed her fingers while Mike held them and put his head down. Levi walked back over to take his place at Eren’s side. Armin was in tears as Delaine talked about Carla to a group of people. Erwin held his hand and tried to stay strong. They were just trying to do their best.

**************

Armin drank his tea sitting in the chair in the living room of his old house. Opa Arlert went back to Germany and Armin was missing him. It still hurt, though. It hurt knowing that his grandfather wasn’t what he’d thought he was and it hurt that he wasn’t here. He’d called, though. That was very appreciated.

Erwin sat down on the couch across from him and exhaled, “Baby, can I get you anything?” Armin looked up, “N-no, I’m fine.” His voice was croaky, barely above a whisper. Armin was just so small, so very small and Erwin hurt to see him like this. “Baby, I love you so much. Please, if you need anything, to vent, to cry, to do anything at all, I’m here. No judgments, nothing.” Armin wiped a few loose tears, “I f-feel bad-d f-for Mikasa. She’s not, h-here.”

Erwin frowned, “I know, but she was so upset and being pregnant took it out of her. The doctor won’t let her fly at all. I can’t even send the plane because she started to bleed and they put her in the hospital. She’s just….you’re all just….so unlucky.”

He wiped his face and Armin pulled his legs up, “Carla made me a book.” He sniffled and Erwin looked down at his hands, “She did?” “Yeah.” Armin started to get upset again, “She was excited to be a grandmother. She wanted to be a grandmother to our child. Erwin, we,” he looked up, tears streaming down his face, ugly crying as he called it when others did it, “have no one. We are alone. We have absolutely no one. Not a single person other than Zad, he’s it. Our child won’t have any cousins that we want it to know about, no aunts, no uncles, nothing. We literally have to hide all of the fucked up people and that leaves us with no one.”

He wiped his face with both hands, threw them to the side and grabbed the edges of the chair, “Carla and Grisha at grandparent events were going to be my, “look sweeties, here’s your opa and oma” stand ins and they were going to be happy and great. And now I have to explain why,” he was choked up, “Why…WHY ONLY THE FIRE HEADED RUSSIAN IS THERE! He’s so anti-grandpa. He’s not fluffy and vanilla. He smells like vodka, sin, and Campbell’s tomato soup!”

Armin was so offended at the thought of the rascal Russian faux uncle eating sugar cookies that Erwin didn’t know what to do but they both fell into laughter as Erwin clutched his sides, “Damn, babI.” Armin covered his mouth, tone chiding as he bit laughs back, “it’s not funny Erwin, don’t laugh. Don’t laugh at how I feel.” Erwin chuckled more, “I know it’s not funny baby. I’m so sorry I just don’t know what else to do other than laugh. I mean, you just…fuckin’ soup.” 

Armin wiped his eyes again, “She was the mother I wanted.” Erwin starred at him, “Are you upset with me for what I did?” Armin nodded, “No, no you did what had to be done, Erwin. They were going to kill me, they were going to destroy us.” Erwin chewed on his fingernails, “We should go to Israel. We should sit shiva with David and Mikasa. It’s the right thing to do.”

Armin snorted softly, “Are we doing this? Are we Jewish now?” Erwin rubbed his palms together, “This man asked a rabbi, “Rabbi, should I go to shul and say the prayers even thought I don’t believe in God anymore?” The Rabbi said, “What’s the harm? Sometimes you go though phases like this but one day you might find him again. It’s also not always about belief but about culture and community. Doing a good thing for the sake of doing it is always better than expecting a reward for it.” Armin smiled weakly, “You’ve got to stop going to temple with Levi.” Erwin walked over to Armin, “Let me kiss you, put you in a warm bath, put your PJs on, and take care of you. I feel so useless when you suffer.”

Armin nodded, “Okay, it can’t hurt.” He drew him a bath, put him in it with bubbles, he read to him, pulled him out and dried him, put one of his shirts on him and then his little pink fuzzy shorts. He slipped on his socks with kittens and rainbows and Armin laughed, “You like my socks.” “Nope, you’re never going make me like them.” “My hair is wet.” “I’m going to take care of it.” He dried his hair and pulled it in a low pony tail, “Carla taught me how to braid. She’d let me braid her hair all the time. I’m really good at it.” 

Erwin smiled, “Baby, that’ll come in handy.” Armin turned to him, “Erwin?” “Hm?” “I own this house.” Erwin pulled him into his lap and laid them down, spooning him from behind, “That’s nice. Why are you telling me that?” Armin stared at the TV in the queen size bed that was in his room now, “Because” he inhaled deeply, “I’m going to burn it down.” Erwin stroked his bangs out of his face, “Baby, I just don’t think that right now,” he paused emphasizing the now, “is really a good time.” Armin closed his eyes as Erwin placed a soft kiss on his neck.

Armin’s eyes popped open, “Has anyone even spoken to Maxim?” Erwin froze and crawled off the bed, “I’ve got it.” He called and Maxim told him that Zad had texted him. Maxim was holding the fort down and had even ran the shop for them. Erwin was so thankful for a self-sufficient and understanding friend, “Maxim, thank you so much.”

Maxim paused, “Tell Armin I love him. I am sorry for his loss. I will pray for her saintly soul.”

Armin was crying when he came back and told him. Thank God for Maxim Aristov.

*****************

Grisha’s wake was a show. The amount of people was astounding and they piled inside of the church one right after the other. Eren was assaulted with stories, with wishes, with handshakes. He still wasn’t speaking and Levi was trying his best to be personable. Erwin stepped in and helped alleviate stress while Armin held Eren’s hand and made it obvious they just wanted to be well wished at from afar. Levi was crashing and Donner wasn’t enough, “I can’t keep listening to this, Erwin.” Erwin frowned and took Levi’s hand, “We’re going to get through this. Just a little formality.”

Levi held tightly on to him, “I’, sad, Erwin.” “I know. But, we’ve got to be there for them. We don’t get to be sad right now.” Levi looked at Eren as he stared at the floor. “Okay. I’ll deal with it if it means helping Eren.” Erwin nodded, “I know. I do so much simply to make Armin happy. This is love.” Levi was still looking at Eren, he replied barely above a whisper, agreeing in tone, “Yes, this is love.”

****************

“I can’t believe he murdered his wife.” “Such a tragedy.” “The police are saying,” “I know, can you believe it?” “Was it money?” “I heard rumor of an affair.” “The hospital will need to be handled. Maybe we can buy it?” “Do you think they’ll sell the house?” “Who’d buy a murder house?” “What was Grisha thinking? Who kills your wife while she watches TV.” “There was note.” “Secrets about Grisha are coming out and they’re not going to stop.” “Such a pity.” “A horrible thing when a man kills his wife.” “Murderer. I don’t know why they’re even having a wake for him. It’s unseemly.” “Grisha…”

Owen walked up to Levi and shook his hand, Fran at his side, “Levi, I’m so sorry for your loss.” “Thank you, Fran.” She leaned against Owen’s shoulder and looked very sad. Owen nodded and moved in front of Eren. Eren looked up and their eyes met. Fran and Levi became very uncomfortable with the heavy feeling between them and whatever silent exchange was going within that piercing stare. Eren’s eyes were guarded, hurt, he was a wounded animal but there behind him lurked a snarl ready to go. Levi was on edge looking at his husband and feeling his body and how it spoke to him. Owen extended his hand and it stay suspended between them as Eren took a slight step back from it. Eventually, Eren took his hand and shook it. Fran pushed Owen along and hugged Eren, “I’m sorry, I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I’ve lost my parents but not like this. Please, let us help if we can.”

Eren shook his head and they passed on. More people could be heard discussing how his father had turned into a murderer and some said they weren’t surprised. Levi fumed, “I’m going to ask them to leave. Just because he did what he did doesn’t mean you show up and talk about it. Not here, this isn’t okay. Those pieces of shit.” He looked over and was going to hand Donner to Eren so he could kick some ass when Eren blinked and turned his head to look at him.

Eren’s look made him stop. He stared at him, void of emotion, his eyes so grey and piercing. He tilted his head, it was all so eerie, “Levi?” Levi wanted to be excited he was speaking but this was just such a heavy moment, “Yes?” Eren’s brow furrowed, a look of annoyance and what can only be called the face one makes when they are shocked at the absurdity someone they thought better of has made, “My father did not kill my mother.” All the sounds were gone and the air sucked out of the room in a single second like the striking of a match, the snapping of fingers, and an electric shock shook him. Levi gasped suddenly, feet attached to the ground, no sound, it was like a grenade had gone off. When Eren turned away to look at the crowd Levi came back to his senses. Eren’s eyes were now back to their familiar viridian. 

Levi swallowed, “Eren?” Eren turned back to him, “Your eyes are back.” Eren paused and nodded, “I guess I can appreciate it more now that she’s gone. At least there’s proof she was my mother.” “What are you talking about?” “I didn’t even know her name.” “What?” “I don’t,” he said through gritted teeth under his breath, “even know what my mother’s real name is.” Levi couldn’t understand him. He couldn’t understand what the fuck was going on. They were called to get ready for the funeral procession that would lead them to Maria to where they were to be buried. Levi took his hand, “Are you hot?” He touched his head and Eren snorted, “I’m always hot, Levi. I don’t have a fever if that’s what you’re asking. Let’s go.”

Zadkiel drove Eren’s car with Jean so that Erwin, Armin, Levi, and he could ride together. Levi tried to talk him in to letting them take his car, “No,” Zadkiel was stern, “Erwin can drive, you’ve got a dog and panic disorder. Don’t fuck around.” He took the keys and got in the car with Jean casting an apologetic look and wiping his eyes with a tissue. “Lee, come on. We lead.” Erwin pulled his scarf higher, it was getting very cold now that it was finally December. He grabbed Eren’s hand, “Ani ohev otkah.” Eren pulled him to the car.

**************

Inside they rode in relative silence save for the music that played just above a whisper. “Hannes…didn’t come…” Armin said slowly and Eren cleared his throat, “He’ll come to Maria. Berkovitch will bring him.” Armin looked ahead at the road, “Eren, why are you eyes back to normal.” Eren looked in the rear view mirror, “I don’t know.” Armin looked at him in the mirror as well, “You have tell me what you think, Eren.” Eren looked out the window, “I don’t think much of anything.” “You lie.” “We tell lies. Haven’t you realized that? We lie all the time. We are liars and we are nothing more than shadows of shadows.”

Erwin tightened his grip on the steering wheel, “That’s not something you’d normally say, Eren. That’s not how you speak.” Eren crossed his arms, “That’s a nice opinion. Do you have more you’d like to give?” Levi stroked Donner’s fur, his body on fire. Erwin didn’t say anything further and they drove on for another hour in silence.

When they were closer to Maria Armin had been reading the book Carla made him and then suddenly he closed it, tears in his eyes, “Who was she really?” Eren leaned against the head rest, “A baby Mizrahi girl, stolen and given to an Ashkenazi family in Siberia who couldn’t have kids, raised with iron teeth, and then stolen again by the Reiss family and given to an elderly couple who couldn’t have kids. Lived in India most of her life. Came to the states with them when she was fourteen. She lived in Los Angeles when she met my father. She worked at a diner and he saved her life. She worked as a Russian spy during the war and so did dad. That’s how they got back at them initially until they found out that governments are where they live, where they breed. Soon even Russia couldn’t keep them safe.”

“My name is a lie. I mean, Eren is real. Maria is real. Jaeger is real. But only for me. I’m glad it’s not mine anymore. I don’t want something they had to lie and piece together. My father’s real name is Gregory Venator. Carla’s real name was Carmiya Habani.” Eren went silent and the other’s tried to process what they’d learned. When they were pulling up to the cemetery he spoke again, “Everyone we know and love that was alive when this began is probably going to die now.”

“Der springt noch auf.”

Pow


	129. Bellamy Oleksandr

Mikasa was able to come home but she had to stay in bed for another two weeks. It was fine, she’d be sitting Shiva anyway and soon Eren would be there. They’d laid their mother to rest and then their father. She was an orphan again. The lawyer was coming with them and she was less than thrilled. David helped her out of the car and into the apartment. He had their room set up like a spa with Chaya’s help. She had cooked them meals and frozen them, she would be stopping by to help out. Mikasa couldn’t make her stay away if she tried. Chaya was a real friend and she loved her. Not a day went by that she didn’t think of Eli, Shoshana, and her brother who had died.

A knock on the door and they were here. Levi’s face was drawn in sorrow and Erwin was holding an exhausted Armin in his arms, “We’re not doing well.” He mumbled, eyes rimmed red, “The flight was horrible and I can’t imagine what taking commercial would have been like.” He walked inside and Eren trailed behind him, “Eren,” David began and Eren shook his head, “I want to see Miki. I’m just so tired.” He started crying and David took his and and led him into the bedroom. Mikasa started to cry when she saw him and he crawled in bed with her. David shut the door.

Mikasa let him hold her, she said all the things she’d said with David and more. David could relate in some ways but even he couldn’t grapple with the thought of losing parents all over again. He’d done his best and that made her happy. Eren told her about Carla and Grisha’s past, gave her her book, told her about little Moscow. She wiped her face, “Have you told the others about little Moscow?” Eren shook his head, “No, I just wanted to see you and I just want to go to sleep.” She nodded wiping her eyes again as a fresh wave of grief hit her, “I’m sorry you had to go through this alone, Eren.” “Mikasa, you were in a different country.” “I know but y-y-ou f-found her.” He kissed her cheek and they eventually cried themselves to sleep.

***************

Erwin sat in the chair by the window rocking back and forth with Armin asleep on his shoulder. He didn’t mind. He liked being his protector, his rock, his comforter. He pressed his nose in his hair, smelled his shampoo. Zadkiel and Hannes were preparing some of the frozen meals Chaya had made while David was outside with Levi on the balcony. Hannes wanted to sit shiva for his friends and Zadkiel had said he’d take care of him. They were going to go see his son as well. David was happy that he was here and that there was so much love but he wanted Levi. He immediately put out a dish of water and chicken for Donner before Levi disappeared ino the _nichts._

Outside Levi was leaning on the railing with David rubbing his back. “Brother, how are you?” Levi looked down at the street, “I don’t know. I’m just…I know how it feels to lose a mother. I can’t believe Eren has to feel this. It….it’s killing me.” David frowned, “Levi, what can I do?” Levi broke down, “Help me help Eren. God, I just, he’s so, oh God it hurts so badly.” Levi and David were shoulder to shoulder, “We’re going to get through this because we have to and because we can. We’re going to help them by being what we are to them: love. We are to love them unendingly, tenderly, passionately.” He looked at Levi and Levi covered his eyes, breaking down.

David put his arm around him, “I love you, Levi. This is what I’ve done for you and you’re going to do it for Eren now.” Levi’s strangled cry made him tear up too. He looked up at the sky that was now emrald green, pale peach, white, and himmel blue. The sky over Israel was marvelous.

****************

Mikasa held the candle bottom over the flame heating the wax before she put it down on the old candle that was coming to an end. The candle would burn for seven days. She sat back down on the chair and looked around, the door open with people coming inside and leaving at their leisure. David had a lot of friends and they all came by to express sympathies. Levi and David sat on the floor. Eren walked around aimlessly while Armin read occasionally and made small talk with the people who thought he was pretty and came towards him in hopes he’d speak. Erwin was popular and made even the saddest somewhat lifted in mood. It was pretty obvious that this was something horrible but the world was still turning and people were living.

Eren sat down next to Levi who put his arm around him, “These people, the ones who haven’t yet shaken my hand and are standing in the corner, they were on the Kibbutz.” David had stood to talk to a group of people that came in suddenly, their eyes were cautiously cast at Levi, “They probably think I’m still, you know…” Levi trailed off and Eren looked at them, he felt Levi shift and smile wickedly, “I wanna see there face when they hear you’re my husband.” Eren snorted, “Why?” “Because you’re a _bambi._ ” He said the words with such an impressed tone it made Eren blush, “Long legs, big green eyes, luscious tan,” he turned to smirk at him making Eren’s stomach flutter from the attention, “and you’re a nice Jewish boy. Mazels to me.” He said the mazels with quick emphasis. Eren smiled and leaned his head on his shoulder, “Thank you, Levi. That was my first smile since you know…”

Levi kissed his head, “It’s bad….but it can be good again. I love you.” Eren kissed him once, twice, thrice sweetly and chastely. Eren curled into him, “I love that they don’t speak unless spoken to.” Levi smirked again, “Yeah, Shiva beats that shit we just went through. Goyim are weird.” Armin sat down next to them, “No one told me that and I kept talking to people. I don’t want to talk.” He moved in to Levi who wrapped his other arm around him too, “I love y’all.” Armin said quietly while they all looked at Erwin who was apparently unable to break himself of the need to speak with people. David and he kept them all occupied while they grieved.

********************

“The house is to be sold and the profit split between Mikasa and Eren. Armin has a trust fund that will be turned over to him and all the information is in the envelope I have here.” He slid it across the desk, “Mikasa will get Carla’s jewelry, including her wedding rings. There’s land around the town that will be divided among the three. The hospitals go to Eren who along with Mikasa will also inherit a seizable trust fund. The property in Sunny Beach Isles will remain a homestead for Eren and cannot be sold, exchange, or destroyed. It has annual upkeep, taxes, and all of that is explained to Eren in this envelope. One Kolibrie goes to Erwin Smith. Levi Ackermann get’s the violin. David gets the hope chest from India and it’s contents. These items come with envelopes written by the deceased. All other matters can be referred to in the binders and I’m now taking questions…”

*****************

Armin sat with Erwin as he opened the letter and read about the typewriter. It was the one the soviets had given Grisha and he’d thought that since Erwin was into history like Armin that he’d want it and appreciate it. He was like another son-in-law and would be treated as such. Armin leaned over his shoulder and then kissed the side of his neck, “I love you.” Erwin blinked, “I’m really glad they wrote this. I’m glad they were going to take care of you. Armin, it really means so much to me that you were going to have safety.” He turned to face him, “Why, Erwin?” “Because you are the most important person to me in my life and I want to know that you will always be cared for in any and all ways. I never want you to be hungry, cold, alone, abused. I never want you to do what Levi had to do to survive. I couldn’t bare it. I barely could when you did in the Middle East.”

Armin kissed him again, “I love you. I can’t wait to pretend to be a spy and use this.” He started to chuckle and Erwin joined him, “Yeah, I can’t either. I kind of want to decode something.” Armin laid back on the bed in the hotel, “You can decode me someday.” Erwin barked a laugh, “I’d need more than a tiny typewriter for you, sweet pea.” He leaned back beside him, “So we’re staying for hannukah.” “We’re staying for hanukkah. We’ll be home roughly the week before Christmas. That’s plenty of time to decorate for a frivolous capitalistic holiday we Jews don’t get.” Erwin raised an eyebrow, “You coming around to that Jewish acceptance?” Armin took his hand, “I guess I am.”

*************

Back in Maria Eren and Armin were wrapping gifts to put under the tree, “Armin?” “Yeah?” “What the fuck are we doing?” “What do you mean?” “I mean, like, we’re about to have our first babies, we’re married, we’re living in a house with more money than God, we just work for shits and giggles, and we’re about to celebrate a holiday that should offend us.” “Don’t forget, we also fuck people outside of wedlock. I don’t think we ever saw that coming.” “Yeah, like….what are we doing?” “Well, it isn’t all shits and giggles.” “Naw, I know but…we’re living with a catholic couple and two gangsters.” “Four gangsters….” “Oh. Meh. Gwad.” Armin burst into laughter at Eren’s face of shock. “At least Ilya and Marco are coming back today.”Armin said while smiling.

“Is Maxim excited?” Eren ventured cautiously, “Like….you know?” Armin sighed, “I think that word of Ilya’s boyfriend has made him even more religious and he won’t really tell me if anything about what happened on Halloween if anything.” “Daaaaaamn!” “I know. I want it to work out.” Jean walked inside, “Can I wrap some stuff?” Armin and Eren hissed, “NOOOOOO WE’VE GOT STUFF FOR YOU!” Eren cleared his throat, “Go on! Get outta here!” Jean’s face was pissed, “DON’T WHITE FANG ME, EREN! I’M NOT A WOLF!” “GET ON OUT OF HERE! NE’ER COME BACK!” Jean grabbed some paper and left. “That was a little mean.” Armin mumbled and Eren smirked, “Yeah but he’s just so excited for Marco and he’d get all pissy with us if he was in here. Solitude is what he needs.” 

Maxim came inside, “I need to wrap things.” “Um, okay.” “Leave.” Both boys looked at him, “Um what? This is our space.” Maxim glared and somehow Armin and Eren ended up on the other side of the door. “That was mean.” “He didn’t even white fang us.” “Damn.”

****************

Gio and Delaine were coming down tomorrow to stay with them so tonight would be all Marco and Jean and Jean couldn’t wait for that alone time with him since they’d had nothing but bad cell reception and fear. Russia now controlled all of Ukraine and the revolts were getting worse and worse. He had to leave because the Visa was over and Russia was now focusing on consolidating power and squashing riots. He was so excited to see him it hurt.

****************

Levi and Erwin were drinking coffee in the livingroom. Erwin’s hand rubbed up and down Levi’s legs that were in his lap. Levi was propped up on pillows reading while Erwin started to dove off, his hand stilling, other one dropping to his chest with his book landing with a thud. Levi looked at him. Erwin’s breathing became heavy and Levi smirked to himself, “We’re drinking coffee and it’s only four in the afternoon you old man.” He closed his book and got up putting a pillow down and laying Erwin on his side. 

He took one of the plush faux lamb throws that Armin had gotten and put it on Erwin, smoothing his hair back as he looked down at him. The fire place was on, he had his coffee when he woke, he put his bookmark in his book for him. And then Levi kissed him softly, “Get some sleep, Erwin. We deserve it…. you really do after taking care us all like you do. Don’t think I didn’t notice.” Erwin snored softly as he drifted deeper into sleep. Levi heard the door of a car close. He’d missed Marco, too and Ilya was in for a lot of heavy bitching and prying about this _boyfriend_ that was not approved. He was thinking of hiring a hit man. He was thinking of nagging him like a good Jewish mother.

Jean was still upstairs and must not have heard them. Levi went to the door to open it before they got to it. Ilya was smiling, “Levi, nice to see you. Um, we have a….” Marco was behind him, “Levi, is Jean behind you?” Ilya was blocking Marco so he couldn’t really see him, “No, he’s upstairs. I heard the door and was already here.” “Well, I um…” Ilya stepped aside and Levi’s eyes widened, “Oh….well…..that’s interesting.” Marco smiled self consciously and anxiously, “Yeah, um….I….I’m pretty terrified Levi.” Levi looked, “Why? It’s fine.” Levi smiled, “It’s going to be fine.”

***************

Marco and Ilya came inside and Marco sat down in the kitchen. Ilya looked around, “Maxim?” “Upstairs.” Levi went to the cupboards and pulled out some animal cookies he kept for Mila and one of her cups. He filled it with warm milk he’d made for Erwin’s tea and sat it on the table. Marco was thankful for Levi. He waited for Jean and soon he heard him running down the hallway and take the stairs two at a time, “Marco! I’M SO GLAD YOU’RE HOME!”

He froze in the doorway as Marco’s face turned red, “Jean, listen, I know this is something that’s going to freak you out but I couldn’t talk to you because of the war and I should have but it was do it now or never have the chance.” Marco had tears in his eyes but his smile was so genuine it made it not so obvious, “He’s mine. He belonged to me the moment I saw him. I loved him instantly and this is what it is. If you don’t want this then I understand. I’ll accept that and we’ll leave. This isn't fair to do to you and I have worried and prayed for so many long nights that I get it. I do. I’ll leave and you can move on.”

Levi’s nerves were on edge as he walked over to Marco. He leaned down and took the little boy, he was about two from what Levi could tell. He reluctantly left Marco’s arms looking around at the strange new place. He had dark hair, almost black. His eyes were grey with tinge of green and they were cautious. He reached out and touched Levi’s face slowly and Levi walked him into the living room where Erwin was still sleeping soundly. 

Jean wiped his face, “Babe, what?” Marco sighed, “I adopted him, Jean. He’s my son.” Jean kept staring in shock, “Wait, you adopted him!? How did they let you do that?” Marco shrugged, “Ilya and I were hid at an orphanage. All of the adoption agencies were going to be shut down. These kids were going to stay there and not have a chance of adoption outside of country or at. I was walking through the halls one night after heavy shelling and there was a door open and I looked inside and he was just sitting there playing with a book, stacking it up on it’s stiff pages in front of him and then he looked at me and we were looking at each other…”

“He stood up slowly and walked towards me very cautiously and I felt this spark, this beating of his heart in mine. He held his arms out towards me and said Tato which means dad and I just knew it was true. I went to him and got him. The women who worked there were all crying and so shocked.” Jean gasp slightly, “What? Really?” Marco nodded, “Yeah, I mean, it wasn’t….staged Jean. Apparently he doesn’t speak ever and he was just speaking to me and wanted me to love on him and I just begged them to help me. They were so moved that they promised. I waited for three days, really tried to talk myself out of it but it was right, Jean. Ilya helped them get the paperwork started and we worked all day and night doing it, copying my Visa, getting the shots and check ups and it was so close, so close. We barely had the ink on the paper dry when they cut off the international adoption opportunities and the US embassy had his Visa warm and freshly printed when they closed the blinds to others. He was mine, finally, legally. He is mine. I’m so sorry, Jean. I couldn’t leave him there.”

Jean shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair, sighing, “I’m not going to lie, I’m scared as fuck. I’m terrified but…I…trust you. I love you. I feel really weird but I’m trying to deal.” Marco smiled and sighed a long deep sigh. He moved to take Jean’s face in his hands and kissed him passionately, “Are you sure? This is a big commitment and it’s just being dropped on you like a bomb.” Jean nodded, laughing shortly in a very stressed out way, “Yeah. He’s ours.” “Well, not until we marry he’s not ours. Just so you know. I’ll have to take care of all legal needs so I just need you to be prepared to help pick up the slack when I have to take him to the doctors or,” “I get it. Do you…not want him to…think of me as…a father?” “No, I do. I do, I do. I promise. I just needed that to be clear. I want him to be ours. We’ve always talked about adoption so…I think I was hoping you’d be okay with this. I mean, there are so many kids that need parents and I thought we both believed that.”

Jean kissed him again, “Naw, babe, I get it and you’re right. I was open to adopting from the beginning.” Marco and Jean embraced for a long emotional moment before Jean sniffled and pulled back, “What’s his name?” Marco smiled, “Remember when we made that list one night of names?” Jean snorted, “Oh God, yeah. Some were bad, babe.” He smiled, amused, “Yeah, babe, but some were good.” “What is his name!?” He whinned and Marco looped his arms around his waist, “His first name is Bellamy.” Jean smiled and inhaled dramatically, “Babe, I love that name. I love it so much.” “His middle name came from Ilya, actually.” 

Jean’s nose rubbed against Marco’s, “What’s that?” “Oleksandr. So, Bellamy Oleksandr Bodt.” “Bellamy Bodt.” “Yep.” “I think Kirschstein needs to break up those Bs.” Marco smiled, “Is that?” Jean’s cheeks flushed, “I MEAN, IM JUST SAYIN LIKE ONE DAY YOU KNOW?” Marco’s face fell, “Assssssssssss.” Marco and Jean continued their talk but it was heavy and important. Levi didn’t want to bother them and he was enjoying this Bellamy who ate his animal crackers slowly, wanted to wipe his hands at the end, and drank his milk quietly while relaxing in his lap. He looked over at Erwin often with curiosity and Levi snorted, “He’s pretty interesting, huh?” Bellamy kept drinking his milk, eyes growing heavy. He nuzzled back onto Levi’s chest as he covered them with a blanket. He put on some cartoons and the little boy turned to lay the side of his face partially against his chest while looking at the strange TV show.

Levi was pretty blissful and if it didn’t work out he’d take him for himself.

****************

Erwin woke up and saw the powerpuff girls on. He watched it for a while because he actually liked the show. He stretched, the cover sliding a bit. He turned over and looked for Levi and found him in the chair, dozing off with a little boy. He couldn’t be older than two and Erwin sat up, “Lee, Lee!” Levi jerked slightly, blinked and then closed his eyes again, “Hmm?” “Did you steal a child?” “Mmm he’s Marco’s.” “I don’t understand.” “Marco adopted him in Ukraine. He’s telling Jean about it. His name is Bellamy.” Erwin blinked, “Holly Shit.”

“Erwin?” “Yes?” “Can we come sleep with you on the couch?” Erwin smiled, “Of course.” Levi stood and brought his little buddy with him crawling inside of the warm blanket where they continued to slumber while Erwin stroked Levi’s hair and admired their new addition to their family. He knew Jean must be losing his shit right now.

***************

Almost an hour later, “We have nothing for a child, though.” Jean took another beer out of the fridge, “I mean, I’m just freaked out.” Marco nodded, “I know. We can ask Levi and Erwin for help but Jean, we might want to think about our own place.” Jean nodded, “But, they’re not going to go for it so let’s not leave right when we could use extra hands.” Marco smiled, “Good point.” Marco took his hand, “I love you so much.” “I love you, too. I’m so sorry I wasn’t….” A few tears rolled down his cheek that Marco wiped away, “It really makes you think about stuff.” Marco frowned, “I know.”

****************

Maxim was folding clothes in his room after wrapping his gifts. He knew Ilya was coming back and he was glad for it. Nearly two months and hardly any phone calls or letters. He was miffed and he was also a little more than hurt. He heard the door open but he stayed focused on his task. Maxim felt him walk behind him and he prepared himself for whatever annoyance Ilya would create.

As if on cue, his hands grabbed the sheet he was trying to fold and he was soon wrapped inside of it, “I’ll kill you, you fucking idiot!” Ilya snickered, “Oh, Maxi, how hurtful of you. I just got back!” He leaned in and hugged him. Maxim scowled, “Let me go.” “No, Maxi, let me hold you.” Maxim struggled and broke free. Ilya’s hand shot forward grabbing him and pulling him back. Maxim’s hand hit the side of his cheek with a resounding snap. Ilya’s hand flew up to his cheek where he’d been slapped.

They stopped for a moment of shock. Maxim’s face was drawn up, he seemed to be surprised he did it and then he was pink in the face from holding back his emotions. Ilya looked at him, studied him, and then he gently moved a strand of his hair to the side, “What have I done, Maxi?” He whispered softly, coaxing. Maxim’s lip trembled, “I just don’t want you to fuck with me.” “No, Maxi, really? I can’t fix it if I don’t know.” He stared at him, body vibrating, “I didn’t realize that your goal in going to Ukraine was to reconnect with him.” Ilya’s eyes widened a fraction, “Oh, Maxi, well…”

“Are you jealous?” Maxim recoiled, “I don’t care.” “You’re jealous?” “Shut up.” “I understand if you are.” “If I was jealous, what would you do?” He said it cautiously as he looked at the floor, even redder in the face. Ilya stepped forward, “I’d tell you it’s okay and that I wanted you to be. I would say I wanted to know if you were perhaps feeling about me the way I have felt about you. I’d say I did have feelings for him once before but he doesn’t believe in God and he’s a cheater. I’d say that I only reconnected with him as a friend and used him to get out of the country in one piece. I would also tell you that not a moment goes by every day that I don’t think of you and want to tell you I love you. I think you’re the most intelligent, independent, resourceful, beautiful, person that I have ever had the fortune, or as it rather feels at times when you push me away the misfortune, of being hopelessly in love with.” 

Maxim’s throat was dry and his voice sounded strangled with unshed tears when he spoke, “Sometimes, I think I love you more than God.” Ilya stood stoically, his words were strong, “I love you because you show me God.” One beat of silence and their hands were on each other, lips crashing together, tears mingling, and hearts finally open and connected the way they were always meant to be.


	130. Christmas

The house was alive with excitement when it came to their newest addition. They all wanted to help set up a room for Bellamy and help make the transition as smooth as possible. Jean and Marco were able to have some alone time since Levi, Erwin, and Bellamy were comfortable friends. He would sit in Erwin’s lap and hand blocks to Levi. Armin made him soft, warm foods that he ate gratefully. Eren introduced him to the animals and Donner was immediately protective and affectionate. Bellamy liked to lie on him on the floor and Levi would join him. He was, in a way, breathing new life into the depressed household.

They went out the next day and bought things for his room. Gio and Delaine were beyond excited to see their son and now their new grandchild. Bellamy was still quiet, but he was getting to where he would explore more on his own and he liked to search for the kittens by himself. By Christmas eve, his room was finished but they were waiting to surprise him with it in the morning, and the family felt settled in to a nice routine with their new little human addition. Armin would be asked every night to read to him by Bellamy walking carefully on the hardwood to him, little book in hand, and warm milk that Levi made him. Armin tried his best to pick Ukrainian and Russian books but sometimes he was surprised at the ones he really wanted him to read. Of course, he was still relatively silent and his urges were more shown by his insistence at placing the books he wanted at his feet with large puppy dog eyes. Ilya would translate for him and so would Maxim when the text was English a bit obscure and challenging.

What was nice was that Maxim and Ilya were inseparable. The family all noticed the difference and were waiting for the right opportunity to the ask what was going on between them. They were all invested in this, this family of theirs. Finally, Armin and Maxim went to the store and had a talk over coffee and cookies, “When Ilya left the village for Maidan I followed him. I missed him too much and I had to be near him to make sure he was okay.” “To make sure you were okay.” Armin smiled around the lip of his cup. Maxim snorted, “I guess.”

He looked out the windows, “I noticed he was always with this guy, laughing, smiling, and then kissing him. My men followed them around,” “You made them spy?” “I made them be there in case a riot happened and they’d pull him out. But, my men instead, told me they were just regular lovers that took the right precautions. They thought it would make me feel good knowing that and it…did but it didn’t.” Armin ate a cookie, “Kelech? (Cookie)” Maxim took one, “I love him. I have always loved him and I was just too in denial or too scared to say it.” Armin got off his stool and walked over to hug him, “I’m glad that you’re happy.” Maxim hugged him back, “I love you, Armin. Thank you for being family.”

***************

The morning was still and quiet. Armin rolled over in the bed and smiled shaking Erwin, “Erwin, its CHRISTMAS!” Erwin frowned, “I’m so sleepy, baby.” “ERWIN, ITS CHRISTMAS!” Erwin opened one eye, “Baby, what is the big deal?” Armin huffed, “Daddy, we have a small child with us. He’s going to have his first Christmas with us, a tree, presents, all of the pomp and circumstance!” Erwin smiled, feeling good about poking the bear, “Oh, Armin, who cares?” Armin pouted, the bear was poked and not amused, “That’s….so mean.” He rolled out of bed and walked down the hall, Erwin followed slowly behind him.

Armin knocked on the door of Levi and Eren’s room before coming inside. He found Eren sitting up in the bed, “Arm! It’s CHRISTMAS AND WE HAVE A LITTLE KID OMG YAS!” Armin started to jump around, “I KNOW! BUT Erwin is being a Mister poopy pants and not excited.” Levi groaned, “I just want sleep.” Erwin snorted, “I know how you feel.” Eren and Armin hissed at them, “Losers!”

They all made their way to Marco and Jean’s room and knocked. Marco opened his eyes, hand on Jean’s stomach who was on his back looking at the ceiling, “Its Christmas, babe.” Marco smirked, “Ah the village has come to wake us.” Jean snorted and looked over at him, “He’s still asleep.” They both looked between them at Bellamy who was holding on to Jean’s shirt with one hand and had his feet on Marco. His face scrunched up but then his eyes opened and Marco and Jean’s hearts fluttered, “Mom is gunna be so mad she didn’t see this.” 

A knock on the door and then Delaine’s voice, “Wake up and let’s get this cute show on the road! JEAN! I KNOW YOU ARE AWAKE!” Gio cleared his throat, “Marco, I’m excited to see my grandchild so please hurry.” Marco leaned over and kissed Jean, “Let’s do this.” Jean kissed him back, “Okay, bud, who you wanna go to?” He looked down at Bellamy and he looked up at Jean, his eyes unsure. Marco laughed shortly, “You want Daddy or Papa?” Marco had been trying to make the difference between them while still enforcing that Jean was his father too. His reluctance to speak was making him try a little harder and vocalize more on his behalf.

Bellamy looked at him and then Jean, “Papa.” Jean swelled, “Marco! OH MY GOD HE SAID IT! OH MY GOD, I LOVE YOU!” He took Bellamy in his arms and covered his face with kisses, “I love you, Bell. Papa loves you.” Marco wanted to cry at the cute moment, Iphone out and flash blinding them. The door flew open, Armin and Eren came inside, “LET US SEE YOU CELEBRATE!” They all went next door to his new [room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/9f/ac/46/9fac4680bf066047272ff86b720680d3.jpg) to take a look and watch Bellamy look around. 

Bellamy smiled widely as he walked around, small hands beating on the tops of the mushrooms. He picked up the small shoes and laughed. The room was alive with emotion and love. Awws and Oohhs were escaping everyone and when he went in the Teepee there was a flurry of lights from cameras. Jean and Marco sat down and showed him where a few more things were. He wanted the dog stuffed animal and after he got it they took him downstairs.

****************

Armin told Erwin that he’d cook Christmas dinner and Erwin was optimistic and a little curious. Delaine and Gio were enraptured with their grandchild and Marco and Jean were opening present after present with them. It was also Levi’s birthday and he’d hoped that they’d forget with all of the commotion about the new arrival but Delaine sat down next to him and gave him a kiss and a hug, “Oh, this morning is about Bellamy but tonight is about you.” Levi blushed, “I’d rather nothing be about me.” Erwin scoffed, “As if Eren would let that happen.” Erwin winked, “I’d never let that happen either.” 

Zadkiel came downstairs in a full Santa get up. The room was quiet but Bellamy must have had some sort of understanding or familiarity with him and he started a very adorable slow crescendo into a squeal that made Zad chuckle, Gio laugh heartedly, and Delaine video tape everything. It was gift after gift, small talk with Santa the Russian, and giggles at the excited expressions on their till this moment reserved and silent little Bellamy. Levi was in the kitchen helping Armin when Erwin came inside, “Baby, can you take a minute so we can exchange gifts?” Armin frowned, “Start without me, Erwin. I got to finish some of this stuff.” Levi snorted, “I can do it.” “No, Santa will.” Zadkiel stepped over, “I’ll finish and get things in the oven. I can actually cook just fine so go and get spoiled you little shit.” Armin smiled and left for the living room.

Eren sat down in the circle with gifts piled high by all of their respective recipients. Delaine and Gio sat on the couch smiling, “This is the best Christmas. You all here, with your gifts, and a child.” Delaine was truly in love with the moment, “And our little grumpy Levi was born today. I mean, Christ is a big deal but he’s no Levi Ackermann.” Jean and Marco both gasped, “Woooooooooooah, that was so blasphemous.” Jean coughed, “Fuck, momma, are you really that in love with Levi?” Levi blushed and turned his head away. Bellamy came to him and then walked past to Armin who smiled and took him in his arms, “I know, I’m much better, Bellamy.”

“Who goes first?” Eren said suddenly and Gio sighed, “How about the couple of artists?” They all agree and Jean opened his first gift, “Babe, wut?” Marco laughed, “Jean, honestly, you needed them.” Jean held up a package of [underwear](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/40/ca/2a/40ca2a44250393dce650e8a13980e2d5.jpg) and Delaine cackled, “That’s when you know you’re really loved. Socks and underwear are important!” Marco opened his gift from Jean and awed, “Babe, I NEEDED THIS OH MY GOD!” He had a portfolio [briefcase](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/0f/d9/bc/0fd9bccc61be18ee1d0d76d1b120aab0.jpg) organizer, “Yeah, I know you do. You sure could have used this for Ukraine so you could have, I don’t know, kept in touch and junk.” Jean smirked and Marco hit him. Jean opened his next gift but it was just a box, “What is this?” “It’s called sketch box and they deliver art supplies every month so you can try out new stuff, brands, and they have little technique things in there. I really liked it when I found it and thought that you might like a gift that kept on giving.” Jean smiled brightly, “I do! This is so damn cool!” He kissed Marco and then passed him another gift.

Marco opened his gift and rolled his eyes, “JEAN, THIS IS SO A GIFT FOR YOU MORE THAN ME!” Jean snickered, “I have no idea why you think I’d enjoy a waterproof bathroom [speaker](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/21/f5/b2/21f5b28574d3ee8098591d44f9bfd011.jpg).” Marco slid another to him, “YESSS I NEEDED ONE OF THESE!” “Babe, I know. You can now [print](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/f7/76/f0/f776f0090660c4cc7fa3e82273e84323.jpg) your photos from all of our little adventures.” Jean slid one more huge box to him, “This is the last one, I swear.” 

Marco smiled, “It’s huge, babe. You should have.” Jean smiled, “It’s something you’ve really been wanting.” Marco paused, “What? What is it? I haven’t really wanted anything that this big?” He really was confused and Zad walked in, “Everything is baking and fine.” He stuck his finger in Armin’s ear who swatted him, “Heeeey!” Zad looked at Delaine and Gio and Armin noticed the slight smirk he had. Armin started to put it all together.

Jean smiled, “Just open it! It took forever to wrap that big ass thing!” Marco started to throw the papers to the side. He opened the box and it just seemed to be endless tissue paper, “JEAN! This is ridiculous!” Jean seemed to deflate, “J-just look around, babe.” Bellamy walldled over and started pulling at the paper with him. “Jean, seriously, why didn’t you let Armin just wrap this?” He giggled and looked at Armin. Armin gave him a face and then said, “I know, right?” 

Bellamy moved some of the paper over and found another box. He held it up and Levi’s hand shot to Eren’s who was jarred by the sudden grip and let a yelp out. Levi looked at him like he had embarrassed him and Erwin snickered, “Ouch, that look.” Armin elbowed him, “Shut the fuck up.” Armin hissed beneath his breath and Erwin looked sad. It was Eren’s turn to snicker, “Ha Ha you got in trouble.”

Bellamy showed Marco the box and Marco took it, “Thanks buddy.” He pulled more paper off and opened the box taking more paper out, “My GWAD this paper is endless.” He found one more box inside but this one was different and he froze. Bellamy walked forward and touched the box, “Da-da,” he tapped it clearly wanting him to open it and Marco did. He opened the box and saw exactly what he’d wanted to see for a long time now. Apparently, it took leaving for almost two months to make him realize that this was what he wanted too. His eyes were moist but he was smiling, not crying, “Jean.”

Jean took the box with the ring in it, “Marco, will you marry me?” Picture flashes, awwws, and held breaths. Marco leaned over, his arm going behind Jean’s back, “Yes, babe. Oh God, yes.” He kissed him and Bellamy moved to sit in his lap. Marco hugged him and Jean patted Bellamy, “What do you think about it?” He asked and Bellamy wanted to just see the sparkly [ring](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/94/57/f5/9457f56d85584d676f398db4cb12f89d.jpg) that Jean was now moving onto Marco’s finger, “This is one of mom’s. It’s been in the family for a long time, French, one of a kind. I wanted it for you because you’re one of a kind and beautiful. Zadkiel took me to get it cleaned because, well, I couldn’t tell anyone or it might get back to you.” Marco kissed him again, “Oh, Jean, thank you so much. I’m so happy. Thank you Ms. Kirschstein, thank you Zadkiel.”

They all rejoiced and began opening presents again. “Who is next?” Armin smiled and looked at Erwin, “Daddy? You ready?” Erwin snorted, “Well, I think Levi and I can exchange our gifts to each other.” Levi nodded and Zadkiel looked on amusedly, “You two have a specific exchange that is separate?” Erwin nodded, “Oh yes, our tastes are specific.” Gio chuckled, “It’s a great thing. I look forward to it.” Delaine sipped her coffee, “I’m a little hot at the end of it, I must say.” Zadkiel burst into laughter, “Okay, well , let’s see this.”

Erwin slid his first gift to Levi who smirked and opened it, “Well, this is marvelous, einayim sheli.” It was a 17th century brass Indian Chilanum [dagger](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ca/bd/e7/cabde73403b59d2b2ea8e93a2f7545d2.jpg) set. Erwin smiled proudly as everyone looked and admired the finely crafter weapon. Levi slid his over to Erwin who quickly unwrapped it in anticipation for what it might be, “Oh, Lee, this is neat.” He lifted the ivory-stocked flint [pistols](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/7c/f6/fc/7cf6fc71bc6369b37c2d0d98e6655ed2.jpg) out and Armin oohed over them and how Erwin they really were. Levi opened his other gift and tch’ed saying that Erwin knew they only did one. Erwin said it was because it was his birthday that he was getting two gifts. The beautiful Medicic [dagger](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/aa/e5/ba/aae5ba209351459e13731117e6bb6e7d.jpg) really made an impression on Levi, “Erwin, this might be my absolute favorite one you’ve ever given me.” He smiled and Erwin leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek, “I’m glad.” Levi blushed slightly and turned to Eren, “Brat, it’s your turn.”

Eren dove into his gifts and opened an awesome [dinosaur ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/29/bc/39/29bc391b06f27b793dce364a13ff819c.jpg)statues from Armin that he was excited to try. Apparently, it glowed at night and he put it in the sun to charge it up. “Science!” They high fived and then Levi snorted pushing another box his way, “Open it.” Inside was a [stethoscope](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/9d/81/0a/9d810aeda9411d895a643bf55a006a22.jpg), a pair of [scrubs](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/32/c1/fc/32c1fc02a9c2294c233d832fed5b6371.jpg), [shoes](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/7e/be/33/7ebe333e23a6873c57f96563bcfb0562.jpg), [shirt](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ac/07/f6/ac07f69ed3abe9d6db1b0822d24364a7.jpg), [coffee](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/0e/c2/dd/0ec2dd7fe81df5e0462410df660e75cd.jpg) mug, and dog [paper clips](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/58/a3/00/58a3006aca44e98c443a1649f4ef1720.jpg). He even uncovered a children’s vet [station](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/82/8b/f0/828bf09cab28d218d9881f900f977464.jpg) that Levi grinned and said was more for their future child but it had some symbolism. When Eren opened a box that weighed nearly nothing he was surprised to find a manila envelope and on the cover [blueprints](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/2c/e9/87/2ce987e109a900bae916c55f33493096.jpg), “What is this…what…what is this?” Eren’s face was perplexed and astounded as Levi grinned ear from ear, “Ahuvi, we’re going to build that across the street. We’re going to start a vet clinic and you’re going to run it and be absolutely marvelous.” Eren tackled Levi and planted kisses all over his face. Levi was on his back, smile as large as the moon to those who never saw him so free and unguarded. Eren’s fingers tickled him and he let loose giggle after giggle, “Really?” he said through clenched teeth, smiling so much it hurt, “really? You did this for me? You did this and this is really happening? This is real life?” Levi nodded and begged for mercy as they fell into more kisses.

The others were excited but loving the rare display of affection from Levi. Armin looked to Erwin, “You’re a good man for helping arrange this.” He said under his breath and then he kissed him. Erwin smiled, “I try to be the man you deserve.” Armin moved closer, “I love you.” He kissed him again and Levi and Eren hushed looking over, “Erwin, it’s your turn.”

Erwin started opening his gifts, a [globe](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/94/71/38/947138e6211529bca2326c5678a0cb89.jpg) that was actually a cooler from Jean and Marco, a mulberry [bag](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/5e/26/9a/5e269a9b6558b0c62f96a982dcbad072.jpg) that Levi had gotten him, some sweat [pants](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/7b/ad/c8/7badc82ea7b2d6a7d835333a8fb5611d.jpg) from Eren, and from Armin a [box](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e5/23/e5/e523e5f141ba438d8cea748477546c6b.jpg) of themed cuteness. He got him another [box](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/42/02/e9/4202e92449a572b4d772cd4e93280fb6.jpg) of goodies and then there was a giant cigarette [machine](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/dc/57/89/dc5789a971f0c717292fba3649f0eb99.jpg) that he unveiled dramatically with the help of Bellamy. There were more gifts in their room but they were private.

Armin was sat down and everyone groaned. Jean looked at Ilya, “He literally is spoiled like the little prince.” Armin stuck is tongue out, “Its Levi’s turn. I’m last, asshole.” Jean snorted, “Ughhh the dark prince.” Marco gave him a smack on the back of his head and Bellamy laughed softly. “Don’t make our son think violence is okay, babe.” “Don’t make him think being an ass is okay.” Levi opened his first gift while they argued and snorted, “Brat, thanks.” It was a gym [bag](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/aa/9f/76/aa9f76660c368f0625af79dc56b46949.jpg) full of workout things. He had a box of new [shoes](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/33/1f/e8/331fe86840e489dd8eee94a34017c958.jpg) with a sweet note. “Braaaat.”

Eren moved closer, “Open the card.” He opened the [card](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/9b/69/74/9b6974fdd8fc3374f454dff9fb8e2869.jpg) and smiled, “God, Eren. I love you.” He then opened a gift from Armin of a [tea set](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/d1/11/a3/d111a3af21c10fe56c6d654c37d7e53a.jpg). “I found it and thought it was classy like you.” Ilya and Maxim had two gifts for Levi that they made. It was customary to make gifts since they were usually so poor. Two crocheted [grenades](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/35/82/f1/3582f117ad247706eba994eccc2074db.jpg) made Levi laugh, “Who did the pink?” Ilya winked, “You like?” Maxim hit him and smiled. Levi nodded, “The pink one is my favorite.” 

Maxim and Ilya went after Levi and it wasn’t as flashy. Ilya got Maxim a [necklace](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/98/bc/7d/98bc7db83e01578078f35a926323665a.jpg) he’d had blessed in Ukraine. Maxim got Ilya a [shirt](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/6a/0e/41/6a0e41c0bcce098432409a125da5f132.jpg), a [backpack](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/81/6a/45/816a45cefa877b392b840a52c80703dc.jpg), and Pokémon [pillows](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/71/5b/bc/715bbc4634a3d3659af868d711211a92.jpg). “I made you these…poke…mon things.” Maxim said with a strange look on his face. Levi snorted, “I don’t really get pokemon…” Maxim smiled, “I know. We didn’t have these things.” “Nope.” Eren and Armin screeched, “DO YOU NOT PLAY POKEMON GO!?!?!?!” Levi and Maxim both jerked and looked like they wanted to hide, “N-no.” Ilya fell on the ground, “MAXI! HOW ARE YOU EXISTING?!” Maxim shrugged, “I’m existing like I am right now.” “But, it cannot be a good existing.”

Ilya moved his gifts for Maxim over, “Here, Maxi. It’s not a lot. I had Jean help.” He opened a [mug](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/42/df/b7/42dfb7aba462d370eea4f9a041dfd484.jpg), [chocolates](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/64/af/28/64af2866620d34b67cf07a22f7897940.jpg), and an awesome [vest](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ac/78/6a/ac786a786501b889b3f60280ce284a49.jpg). Maxim smiled and leaned over to kiss Ilya on the cheek. Ilya blushed, “Do you like it.” “Da, I like it.” The room warmed as the others enjoyed the sight of Milya in the flesh before them. Erwin finished his coffee and went to get Armin from the Kitchen to dote on him.

It made sense to be sick of Armin and to find everything about him and his relationship annoying but one had to admit it was partially, mostly, out of jealousy. Eren and Jean sat back, making snide comments and heckling. Gio was endlessly elbowed by Delaine but she and Levi were the main two who gave Erwin credit where it was due. He spent his money on those he loved and he spent it well. Marco loved it and thought it was like getting a real life tumblr feed of a sugar baby in front of him. He relished in it and Gio also liked it because it was utterly insane. Bellamy was also enraptured by the pomp and liked the colors, the show, the textures, and the smile on Armin’s face.

First, Erwin rolled out a [cart](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/2f/de/8a/2fde8a4d4039d9179367c588f9bd4110.jpg) with clothes on it and bags and boxes of shoes and accessories. He got a lavender sport [band](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/fc/c0/50/fcc050aa96d4cc596e706452ab5ef824.jpg) to go with his own that Armin had surprised him with. He got a diamond encrusted [Rolex](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/35/81/5c/35815c6d9a55f62591f35be08d9df0b9.jpg) that Maxim made a comment to Levi that had he not been his family and friend he would have stolen and gotten a good price for it. Levi found that hilarious and agreed. Eren frowned because Levi reminded him daily he’d had a horrible life. Eren wanted to cover Levi in honey and eat him.

He got a collection of bags that made Delaine ooh and aww at. He then was presented with new [technology](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/45/a8/ba/45a8ba846101733ffdfb4a670419f338.jpg) that made Levi groan because it was all apple and Eren drool over for that exact same reason. Levi called Eren a label whore and Armin snickered. Then there was the gross display of Louis Vuittion [luggage](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/af/54/76/af547611f35981d27803de19475c3eca.jpg) that Armin laid on to take an instagram photo, which Marco published and Jean took. He ended with new [sunglasses](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/26/67/15/2667151fc443ca7104bf326e5553810f.jpg) in pink.

Maxim and Ilya gave them a couple gift to share of [blocks](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/fa/fd/0d/fafd0df309dd0fe136e9e7a8f475b827.jpg). They also gave Levi and Eren a gift of kitten nesting [dolls](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/38/cd/18/38cd189187d814e21102c97f0d20b866.jpg). Gio and Delaine told them they had gifts for the expecting couples too and since they didn’t know the sex that got a few that were unisex. Of course, since Armin was opt to dress a woman Delaine picked a few that were mommy and me. Eren looked at Armin as they waited to open gifts, “If they called you mommy, would you be upset?” Armin shook his head no, “No, I’d think that was pretty funny and a little sweet. I don’t care if my kids called me that if I was dressed as a woman or for any other reason. I just want them to call me something. To me a mom is more of a definition of a caregiver that normally makes the home for the child, makes lunches, does domestic things. I don’t think it would be weird if they saw me more as mom. I do care when someone uses mom as a word to hurt someone or talk down to them like stay at home moms who are targeted unjustly.” Eren nodded, “You so strong, bruh.” “Bruh, I gotta be.”

The first gift for Eren and Levi was a [shirt](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/6a/ab/fb/6aabfb3f213cbc4836872f9986082b9c.jpg) set, “Awww you keep me wild. I should wear this.” Eren smiled cheekily and Levi nodded, “For sure.” Erwin and Armin opened their box next, “OMG ITS A KITTEN [DRESS ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/f4/24/84/f42484f0e6960659dfb3c8cfddd93ff0.jpg)YASSSS!” Eren opened the next box and the clothing one, “YESSSS HEBREW [BLOCKS](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/32/f0/de/32f0de96f3416880f18824d1ef80d93e.jpg) and OMG LEVI [LOOOOOOK](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/e1/57/f9/e157f9211daae919a34de29f0c7119c7.jpg)!” Armin ripped the paper out of his, “YESSSS [TUTU](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/11/85/d4/1185d434616281f08cea3a1cdb2f4ddf.jpg) CUTENESS ON THE BUTT!” Levi opened the next one and smiled, “I like [this](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/56/3f/be/563fbe099ee332008b1419eb3f08cadc.jpg).” Armin opened the next one, “I hope it’s a little girl soooo bad. [LOOK](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/30/ef/ca/30efca10a5580772e8663bcbb7515efe.jpg) HOW CUTE, ERWIN” Armin turned around and put the shirt up into Erwin’s face against his nose, voice demanding, “SMELL THE CUTENESS!” Erwin’s eyes were wide, “Armin, you are really scaring me.” “Shhhhhhhhh” he lowered his voice seriously, “This is nothing compared to what I am going to be.” “Oh no.” They opened more gifts, ate lunch, and then drooled over what would be Armin’s dinner portion if lunch was anything to indicate what was to come. Levi was very impressed and looked to Eren, “I love you, Eren. But, Armin has my stomach’s heart.” Eren frowned, “I know…I never wanted this day to come.” Levi moved closer, “You could learn from him.” “I’m not good enough.” “Sure you are. You’re good at a lot of things.” He chuckled and kissed him. Eren smiled and then felt two little hands on his PJ pants, “Looks like Bellamy wants to be held.” Levi frowned, “But, I’m kissing you.” “Kids come first. Let’s go see ours while we’re at it.” Armin perked up, “I wanna go too!” Zadkiel pushed him playfully, “Go.” And up the stairs they went to see their unborn babies. 

***************

Delaine and Gio were dancing slowly in the living room while Levi and Erwin played the piano and sang. Eren laid on the floor with Donner, kittens jumping on him and around him while Bellamy sat in Marco’s lap watching while he started to fall asleep. Jean was playing video games with Ilya while Zadkiel and Maxim played chess and drank some holiday punch Armin had made that got everyone really drunk without them noticing it. Something about fruit fermented and who knows but it was great and they all loved it.

Everything was going so well but there was a little sadness over those who could not be there. Eren was still inside of himself and Levi knew it. He was going about it all like he was moving on but he was stuck against the wall. Levi eventually stopped playing and took a hold of him, pulling him from the floor. He danced with him slowly, pressed his nose against his neck, “I love you.” Eren hummed, “I love you.” Erwin finished with a flourish and put on a record of classics. He went into the kitchen, wrapped his arms around Armin’s waist, “I love you.” Armin smirked, “Taste this.” He gave him a spoon and Erwin took it into his mouth, “Mmmmmmmm bhmby! MMMMMM!” He pulled the spoon out of his mouth, “What is this!?” Erwin’s arms picked Armin up, as he swooped down to kiss him all over his face as Armin squirmed away in his hold. Armin smiled, “It’s just gravy, Erwin.” He kissed him sweetly after a game of chicken with their lips, “I love you, too.” A knock at the door and Erwin went to open it.

Mike and Hanji were holding Mila between them, bouncing her up and down. Hanji smiled, “Where’s the birthday boy?!” Mika snorted, “Hiding from you.” Levi appeared smiling widely, “Mila!” She smiled a toothy smile, “Leeeee!” He swooped down and took her in his arms, “This is the best gift you could have gotten me. Okay, bye now.” He started to shut the door on them and looked down at Mila, “Say, Byeeeee!” Mila smiled and started to wave, “Byeeee,” as Hanji and Mike rolled their eyes and smiled as well. Hanji pushed the door open, “I smell something cookin’.” They walked inside and Armin was smiling, “I’m in charge of the dinner.” He put on a chef’s hat Eren gave him and Eren and he started using the kitchen spoons as swords trying to attack each other like scouts.

Hanji and Mike went to the living room after speaking. Mike stopped suddenly, “This is new.” Hanji peered around, “Aww who’s little kid is that?’ Bellamy was playing with the blocks that Eren and Levi had been given. He was smiling as Salvatore rubbed against him and Captain would push the blocks over only for Bellamy to restack them. Delaine and Gio appeared and hugged them, “This,” Delaine motioned to Bellamy, “is Bellamy and he’s our grandchild.” She smiled and Hanji and Mike looked confused until Hanji’s face lit up, “WAIT DID SOMEONE ADOPT?” Gio clapped his hands together, “My Marco. Now we have a perfect family. Look at how marvelous he is!” Hanji smiled, “Ohhh this is so nice. Congratulations Marco and Jean! WAIT WHAT IS ON YOUR FINGER?!”

Christmas dinner went well, all went well and it was a good thing.


	131. Planes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So it's finals and I'm really, really sick so this chapter is short and took a long time to post. I'm sorry. It's an interim chapter.

Erwin’s lips moved down Armin’s throat, “Baby,” he cooed against his skin, “can I have your seat?” Armin’s hands pushed against his chest pushing him away. They were in the crowded airport by a pillar waiting for their group to meet up. Armin had thought Erwin was just showing him some affection after a few rough weeks but he should have known, “No.” Erwin pouted, “Please, I really want the window. This will be a big plane and I always get stuck on little planes and in the isle.” Armin rolled his eyes, “Sure.” He handed him his ticket and Erwin smiled. He checked his phone, “They’re running late. Let’s get something to eat, baby.”

They walked to the food court looking at their options. They both saw somewhere they wanted to eat and spoke at the same time. However, Erwin said “Panda” and Armin said, “Chick Fil A.” They both looked at each other like the other had offended them personally. Armin started formulating and so did Erwin, “Baby, I really love Chinese food.” He knew he’d fucked up as soon as he said it. Armin jumped, “Erwin, that’s not real Chinese food. It’s corporate shit that’s exploited. Plus, Chinese immigrants to the United States in the early years changed their recipes to cater to American tastes so no Chinese food, save for a few places, is really authentic here.” Erwin’s mouth opened and then closed, “But, Chick Fil A gives money to conversion camps for homosexuals.” Yes, he’d struck gold.

Armin’s eyes seemed to film over with mental information, “While their warped Christian belief is hurtful and that is problematic, their treatment of employees is one of the highest in the country.” Erwin scrunched his nose up, “However, they are located only in the south and that means if we don’t eat it here then we can’t eat it anywhere else. Also, I gave you my seat.” The decision was made and Erwin knew it. He nodded and they went to the counter. Armin bounced slightly as they waited and when they walked up he placed his order, “Can I get a large number 6 with a cherry coke?” The woman put the numbers in and Erwin squinted, “I can’t read…that….” Armin looked up, “Which one?” Erwin squinted more, “The squiggly one.” “Um, the….um do you want a sandwich or tenders or nuggets or a salad?” Erwin looked down at him, “I don’t know.” Armin stared, his mind working over time. He looked at the woman and started off quietly, “Um, you like….bread….He’ll have a number 1 with an additional side of fruit and a cherry coke.” “Large?” “No ma’am.” “That’ll be 15.67.” Armin reached in his pocket and pulled out his card, “Is that American express?” Erwin looked down at the card.

Armin looked at him like _yeah what’s wrong with that._ “Yeah, it is….” Erwin squinted, “I don’t like them…..we normally have the same card carriers…” Armin shrugged, “It has some of the shop’s funds on it. I liked their plan.” “Really?” Armin raised an eyes brow, “Um, yeah?” They got their food and drinks and went to find a table to sit at. Once they did Erwin kept rubbing his eyes, “What did you get me, baby?” Armin opened Erwin’s sandwich for him and his fruit cup, “Chicken sandwich, fries, fruit.” Erwin nodded, “Thank you….I think….” Armin looked over at him again, “What?” Erwin shrugged, “I don’t know.” His voice was weak and cautious, “Erwin…we’re really off today.” He started to laugh and Erwin joined him, “I know! What is up with it?” Armin shrugged, “I guess this happens….my God…is this what regular people are like? I like that we’re so similar.” Erwin smiled, “I know. Baby, it’s like…they must struggle so much.” Armin laughed brightly, “Those commoners.”

They ate in relative silence all while Erwin’s eyes watered and began to bother him, “Baby,” he said dramatically at one point, “I can’t see.” Armin slammed him tenders down, he was panicked as Erwin’s red eyes seemed to turn his baby blue eyes green and filmy, “COME ON!” Armin stood up pulled on Erwin. He brought Eriwn into the family bathroom and sat him down, “Erwin, what can you see?” Erwin threw his hands to the side, whipping his head around, “Nothing, it’s all so blurry. You’re just swimmy looking.” Armin was panicking, “What have you done differently today?” Erwin was frustrated and huffed dramatically, “I don’t know…” “Please think.” Erwin bit his lip wiping his eyes as they filled with tears. Burning at the corners. Armin thought about how dramatic men were when they didn’t feel well. He wasn’t this dramatic.

“I…haven’t done anything different except come to the airport.” Armin chewed the inside of his cheek, “So, what did we do here?” “Ummm, we parked, we went through security, we went to the bathroom, we stood by the pillar, we got food food….” “Parking was normal. So, security and bathroom are probably where you came in contact with the allergen because pillar and food were when you started to have a reaction.” Erwin looked over at him slightly, “I…held your hand in security…” He looked over at Armin and Armin deadpanned, “My _hand_ didn’t do shit to you.” Armin pulled back mumbling, “Ungrateful man, accusin’ me of hurtin’ you.” He slapped his arm.

Erwin snorted, “Daaaamn, baby….Then I took my shoes off, put them on, got the bags, went to the gate to make sure we knew where it was, then we went to the bathroom, I peed, I washed my hands,” “With soap?” Erwin looked offended, “Of course with soap what am I an animal?” Armin’s lip twitched, “Levi and I bring personal hand sanitizer.” “Well, good for you and Levi. Us poor volk use the people’s resources.” “Then I wiped my face off because I had something on it probably from this morning going out to the barn to feed the horse.” Armin looked at him, “With your hands?” “With my hands…” “That were covered in soap?” “Yes, what is with you? Are you Elle Woods?” 

Armin thought to himself before snapping his fingers, “Dimethylaminopropylamine!” Erwin looked at him, eyes red and unable to really see, “Did you just cuss at me?” Armin went to sink and wet a small towel before wiping his face down a few times. “No, daddy, that’s something found in soaps and shampoos and stuff that a few people are allergic, too.” He took the towel off of his face, “Better?” Erwin nodded, “Yeah, baby, I think so.” He then leaned Erwin’s head back and flushed his eye with some allergy drops Armin sometimes took, “Can you see?” Erwin blinked, “Oh my God, YES! YOU’RE MY PROPHET, MY MESSIAH, MY BABY!” He grabbed him to him and kissed him, “I love you, I love you, I love you.” He kept repeating himself between kisses and Armin just smiled, “And you accused my hands of hurting you.” “I know, I know, I am such a fool.” Armin smiled more, “Yeah you are but you’re mine.”

They left the room, found a first aid station and had his eyes flushed again. They gave him some Benadryl and Erwin started to feel better. He was a little tired now but Armin and he found a nice spot by their gate and they started to read and sip a few drinks they got at the bar. Erwin leaned his head on top of Armin’s, “Let’s play a game.” “What?” “Would you rather.” “Okay, that sounds like fun.” He closed his book and crossed his legs turning in his seat towards Erwin. Erwin smiled, “Okay, would you rather give up cheese or oral sex?” Armin smiled wickedly, blushing, “Erwin!” He hit him, “Cheese…but oh…oh God that’s so hard…cheese…I’d give up cheese…” Erwin laughed and Armin took a moment, “Would you rather smell like poop and not know it or constantly be smelling poop that no one notices?” “That is impossible.” “Answer!” “Me smell it because if I smelled you’d not want me.”

“Would you rather always have to say everything on your mind or never be able to speak again?” “Have to say it. I want to talk to you.” Erwin smiled, “That’s so sweet.” Armin blushed again, “Would you rather be itchy for the rest of your life or be sticky for the rest of your life?” “Sticky. I can’t be itchy for a second. Would you rather eat a bowl of vomit or lick a hobo’s foot?” Armin paused, eyes wide, “That’s some SAW shit….hobo’s foot. Would you rather smell like eggs when you burp or have a green cloud appear when you fart?” Erwin burst into laughter, “I don’t fart, so…” Armin leaned back in his seat, “Wowowowowow” he was making ambulance noises, “Someone call the police because I’ve caught a liar!” Erwin chuckled, “Ok, I want the cloud just to prove you wrong!”

Erwin leaned forward, “Would you rather only listen to Nickelback songs or read all of Itunes user agreement manual every day for life?” Armin snorted, “I’ll read. Nickelback is basically a weapon created to destroy humanity. Listening to just one bad hook will make you go def. Would you rather eat a potato and feel it’s pain or be one?” Erwin looked so amused, “How evil of you…” “Answer the question Erwin.” “Feel its pain.”

Armin smiled wickedly, “Love you.” He puckered his lips and blew him a kiss. Erwin opened his newspaper with a pop and leaned back to continue reading. Armin opened his book and they read for another half hour before Armin checked his phone, “They are barely going to catch this flight.” “What do you think of Levi?” Armin gave him a confused look, “Um…our Levi?” Erwin lowered his newspaper, “No…the name?” “ERWIN!” “I’m not telling you what we’re having! YOU’D KILL ME! I just wondered…” Armin looked at him, “You want to maybe name a kid one day after Levi?” Erwin raised the paper, mumbling, “Maybe…”

Armin leaned his head on Erwin’s shoulder, “I wouldn’t be opposed.” Erwin kissed the top of his head, “I’m glad we’re getting to go see Mikasa’s birth but I’m also nervous because we’re so close to our own.” Armin nodded, “Yeah but without Grisha and Carla…” He got a bit choked up, “This is what’s right….you know? We’re family.” Armin wiped his face, “But, we can’t use Levi, you know. We’d have to use another version or something.” Erwin frowned slightly, “But, I like Levi.” Armin smirked slightly, “Erwin, is this, perhaps, a way to ensure that you have a Levi in your life that you can hold, kiss, and love as much as you want and he’ll just eat it up?”

Armin peered at him innocently and watched as Erwin’s face twitched, “Maybe….is that bad?” Armin smiled, “NO! I LOVE IT!” Erwin burst into laughter and then they heard them. “Ooooowwwwww!” “SHUT. UP. BRAT.” Levi was pulling Eren by his ear lobe towards them, “We’re so fucking late because you thought that the dawn soap could go in the dishwasher and now OVERFLOW!” Eren pouted, “Neshama! I was just in a rush.” “Then you just had to take a shower, you had to PACK, you had to drive, and YOU HAD TO TAKE A DETOUR THAT YOU HAD NO IDEA IF IT EVEN WOULD CUT TIME OFF OR NOT!” Eren frowned looking like a sad puppy, “Levi… Neshaaamaaaaaaa…” “No, I want Erwin. Just….make do with yourself or Armin.” Levi took Erwin’s paper out of his hands and then wedged himself into his lap between his legs, “I’m done.”

Eriwn looked around, “Your loss is my gain.” Eren looked like he was really going to cry, “Levi…” Armin opened his arms, “Come on.” Eren crawled in them just as they were called to board. Eren let out a sigh, “Fuck.” Armin rubbed his back, “At least we’re first class.” “But, I just got here. Sit with me Arm.” “Nope, I’m sitting with my husband.” Levi snorted and Armin gave him a look that could kill, “I will gut you.” Levi frowned, “I want to sit with him.” “I don’t give a damn. I have a right to him and I have a ring. Get over it.” Levi raised an eyebrow, “Someone is territorial today.” Erwin blinked, “Yeah, damn.”

On the plan Armin settled into his seat. They were right in front of Eren and Levi. Armin looked over at Erwin who rubbed his face and turned around to look at Levi, “I had an allergic reaction and I’m Benadryl.” Levi snorted, “Lucky fucker. I’m just…I’m fucking done.” Eren cringed, “Levi, please…” Armin turned around, “Are you two really fighting?” Levi looked out the window and Eren nodded, “Sometimes…I just push Levi too far.” Armin and Erwin didn’t know what to say or even where to begin. Levi just kept looking out the window and Eren looked even sadder, “I’m sorry, Levi.” 

Levi turned to look at him, “I can’t, Eren. You gotta give me some space. I’m so sorry but you just got to back off. I’m not okay.” Eren nodded, “Yeah, I thought it might be like that. But, we’re going to be okay?” “Yeah, we’re gunna be okay just leave me the fuck alone.” Armin and Erwin exchanged another glance, “Can I sit with Eren?” Levi nodded and switched with him. It was the least they could do.

Erwin turned to Levi and gave him a book. He carded his hand through his hair and stared at him while Levi whipped his eyes, “I love you.” Erwin smiled, “I am just so enamored by you, my sweet little puddin’ pop.” Levi opened the book and went inside of himself. Eren held Armin’s hand and they prepared for lift off. Armin gave him a kiss on the cheek. Eren held his hand and he pulled out his pen from his bag and started to write on the small pad they gave them:

E: I fucked up.

A: How? I’ve never seen him actually this upset with you.

E: I looked up where he grew up. I talked to people in the apartment. They said we can visit if we ever feel like it.

A: EREN WTF

E: I want to know what he went through.

A: No, what you want is to keep denying your own suffering by focusing on his. This is not the right time.

E: I THINK IT IS. I think that it’s important that we deal with some things while the kids are young. I think it’s important to tell the truth to one another, to get to know one another like that. I just…I need to tell him stuff. But I’m so fucking messy, Arm.

A: Is that what pushed it?

E: Yeah, he found the notes and correspondence. I also just wait till the last second to do everything and it made him just lose it. He had an attack. I had an attack. We were a mess.

Armin took the pad away and they fell into silence totally as the plane took off. Armin knew that Eren wanted things a certain way. He wanted things resolved. He also continued to deny Grisha actually killed Carla. Armin saw him inside of himself, pulling away; ready to take action but when? When was Eren going to snap and would they be able to handle it? Who knew, they just wanted their babies safe and healthy. 

Eren eventually put his seat down into the bed and rolled over snoring while Armin finished his first book. Erwin was still reading the newspaper but he heard the occasional mumbling from them both. After a while his phone buzzed and he was surprised to see he was on the Internet and his Whatsapp working. 

CommanderEyebrows: So, Eren really is hell bent on fucking his shit up as much as possible, huh? 

Sassafras: Whatever do you mean its tots aprops to push childhood trauma. Much smart, good times :D 

CommanderEyebrows: Oh yes, and to continue to repress your own trauma is EVEN BETTER! So gud, very jelly.

CommanderEyebrows: But really why would he think this was a good idea? We must figure this out before Levi explodes. 

Sassafras: Wonder Twin Powers, Activate! In the shape of ALBERT EINSTEIN’S BRAIN!

CommanderEyebrows: In the shape of THE SPEAR OF DESTINY!

Sassafras: wut…..

CommanderEyebrows: um…..send nudes?

Sassafras: That doesn’t help our friends, silly! :-P

CommadnerEyebrows: You know that thing we all do and it makes us all angry and we keep promising not to do it but we keep on doing it?

Sassafras: ERWIN. YOU. ARE. SO. RIGHT.

Armin looked over at Eren and stared at him. He tried his best to read his mind but alas, those powers were still out of his reach. His eyes narrowed and he typed again.

Sassafras: Okay, so…I have a tracker on Eren’s phone.

There was a very, very long pause and Armin started to get a bit upset thinking he’d revealed that and it was going to back fire. _I mean, Levi has a tracker on his car for fuck’s sake! I just have his phone. I’m just the NSA….they’re not so bad….kind of….yeah…_

His phone buzzed loudly on the table.

CommanderEyebrows: Our children are going to hate us. But, I think I’m even more in love with you than before. :-*

Sassafras: Should I check it?

Erwin basically vibrated in his seat and his fingers typed so loudly Armin smiled waiting for the reply.

CommanderEyebrows: WHY HAVE YOU NOT CHECKED YET MY GOD CHECK IT AND TEEEEEEELL MEEEEEE!!!!

Armin checked his account and waited for the report to pull up.

Sassafras: Thanx big daddy for the internet. :-* :-*

CommanderEyebrows:I put money in your account to for shopping when we get there. I don’t know what to wear to one of these things at the temple.

Sassafras: DOWNLOAD ATTACHMENT

Sassafras: Thanx :-* Enjoy that brain teaser there.

Erwin looked at the screen shots and then pulled up the address. He was truly stumped and Armin waited trying to figure it out too. He looked out the window and heard Erwin sigh and the _pop_ of his glasses. Erwin’s eyes had been getting a little worse lately and Armin wondered why the serum hadn’t healed them like it did everything else. The eye doctor said it’d only gotten worse by one degree but that was one degree too much for Armin. He needed Erwin to be taken care of and kept pristine for many years to come. He loved him so much it made even himself sick at the thought.

CommaderEyebrows: Something is up. This delightful seacoast spot with one lone cement water building is too innocent to be true.

Sassafras: Ummm could this be….Eren’s coming to terms with his past and he wants Levi to do that too so they can bond over it?

CommanderEyebrows: They’re both afraid to open up about the ugly because it’s not all ugly and it’s not all pretty but they feel vulnerable and maybe they also think they shouldn’t care about it anymore?

Sassafras: They think the other will think they’re just whining about the past and that it either means they’re not happy with their present relationship or they’re trying to make problems where there are none?

CommanderEyebrows: Perhaps Eren will only let Levi into this if he lets him into his?

Sassafras: A mutual exchange of vulnerability that if not positive will result in a fragmenting of their self identities and what it means to lead functioning lives as parents because their hang ups all revolve around problems surrounding their parents and never getting to become parents and break the cycle. Therefore, this is actually a crucial balancing act they have been performing for some time since them as a unit is solid but when others are factored in it may not remain so…

CommanderEyebrows: Eren’s also a little shit and really curious, too.

Sassafras: Levi just doesn’t like attention either and things have to be his idea or he resists like a mofo. Look at the original life. Big Scary Power Trip Erwin: U can werk wit meh. I treat u gud babe. Levi: Fuk u Erwin: wut u say? Levi: I sed Fuk U and UR EYEBROWS

CommadnerEyebrows: He was such a cute thing when I brought him home from the pound. Had a lot of disciplinary problems but with doggy day care training and bonding activities we became a great team.

Sassafras: You just called the scouts doggy day car and killing titans and watching your friends die bonding activities. You make me so hot.

CommanderEyebrows: Sit on my face bby :-* 

Levi turned in his chair suddenly and took Erwin’s phone from his hand, turned it off, and slammed it in the overhead, “SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. FOR. A. SECOND. GOD. DAMN.” He lowered his chair and pulled his blanket up to go to sleep like Eren. Erwin sat still and then dramatically, slowly, turned around in his seat, large eyebrows piercing the horizon of the crème leather seat before his blue eyes, full of amusement and “uh OHHH”, meeting Armin’s as Armin covered his mouth stifling giggles while Erwin raised and lowered his eyebrows, “Levi told me to stfu.” Armin started to cackle, “STFU FR, “IKR BBY LMAO” 

Erwin was slapped by Levi, “STOP THAT DEGENERATE CHAT SPEAK YOU NOOB!” Erwin whipped his head over, “YOU SPEAK IT TOO!” Levi smirked, “I’m going to start telling secrets if you don’t STFU!” He rolled over and Erwin and Armin returned to their books and in flight entertainment.

Israel would give them plenty of time to talk in private. 


	132. Keita Solomon

Mikasa woke up and ate her breakfast slowly as David moved things around the house. She was excited that Eren would be coming and couldn’t wait to see her child. However, she was little frustrated and sad. She missed her parents, she actually was in so much pain there was only moments of numb that ebbed into pain and then tears. She was sexually frustrated and the state of the world was only getting worse and affecting her business overseas. She had things she wanted to do and that meant getting mobile and getting out of bed. She wanted her baby, she wanted her life back.

_DAMN, that’s so selfish. I’m horrible._

She felt her cheeks flush as the guilt washed over her, _Is that anyway for a mother to talk?_ She chewed her cheerios and kept her eyes closed. When she swallowed she opened them and David was leaning on the counter, “You look so beautiful.” She smiled, “I’m so selfish.” He shook his head, “Nope, not at all.” She leaned forward, frowning, “I thought inside of my head that I wanted my life back.” He snorted, “To work?” She grimaced, “Yeah.” “Not selfish. You’re a person, you’re entitled to that. You don’t have to be Mrs. Lavie who stays at home or anything you don’t want to be. You’re going to be Mikasa, mom, designer, etc… A child can adapt as long as you’re making sure their needs are met and they come first in that way.” She hummed, “When did you start thinking that?” She was genuinely curious. He blushed slightly, “When I got real with myself.” She smiled wickedly, “Damn, Mr. Lavie, that’s rough.” He rubbed the back of his neck, “I know, mami. But, I had to do it.” She leaned back in her chair, [nightgown](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ee/72/86/ee7286334c71c3fc41f1737ea30986b2.jpg) moving against the chair, “I mean, damn, Mikasa,….you’re so fucking beautiful.” She grinned, “Prove it.” She felt guilty, she was baiting him. He looked pained, he was clearly tempted, “The doctor said no sex.” She whined, “But….I’m so….it’s for the baby.” She ended weakly and he tapped his foot on the ground. It’d been about two months…three weeks….four days….and maybe nine hours since he’d been denied access to his wife. But who was counting?

She pouted, “Please?” He frowned, “Can’t sex make the baby come earlier?” She deadpanned, “Someone _WAS_ watching Hebrew dubbed Friends the other night when they said they were working!” He chuckled, “Gosh…okay, we can have sex.” “PROMISE!?” “Promise. Finish your breakfast. They’ll be landing in an hour.” She got up, “Then let’s get going!” David smirked, “How to the point.”

If Mikasa thought it was going to go well then she was only half right. David decided he couldn’t really have penetrative sex with her so he’d just do what he really liked doing instead. “Can I just…you know?” She smiled and gave a slight huff of a laugh, “Eat me out?” He grimaced, “I wish there was a polite way to say that.” She grinned, “I don’t. I think it sounds pretty hot and I’m totally into that. Sooooooo.” He smiled leaning up to kiss her before pulling her to the edge of the back. He pushed her down and kissed the inside of her thighs. She sighed gratefully and prepared herself for wondrous relief.

Except during the throes of pleasure she started to feel pressure and then discomfort and then it was heat and more pressure and her lower back was so achy and then, “David! DAVID!” He hummed, moaned a bit, he was super into it and always had been but now she was hitting lightly on the top of his head and pulling his hair, when he came up and away from her he looked wounded, “David! I THINK I’M IN LABOR!” David’s face was perplexed, “But….you’re being induced in four days….” She paused, feeling a pretty bad contraction, _Holy fuck my God what the fuck this hurts like what the fuck it hurts this shit is real like real real hurts like a real bad hurting thing my god oh shit I’m going to shit on myself ughhhh noooooo I don’t want to shit on myself and they say that’s gunna happen and I was like nope not me but fuck they were right about this and--- oh okay much more bearable_ “DAVID REAL CONTRACTIONS LIKE RIGHT NOW START TIMING WE GOTTA GO!” 

David pushed back on the floor running and falling over scrambling; he barely got to the door frame and had to use it to climb up on. When he went to get her bag, he slid on the floor, hit his face on the table, busted his lip and spilled the contents of the hospital bag out and had to put them back in. Mikasa was timing her contractions, taking her time waddling to the door while putting her clothes on for the hospital, “David,” she groaned, “David, it hurts…” He had blood all over his face, “David! Are you okay!?” He nodded frantically, “What am I forgetting?” “Phone chargers, passports,” “All in the bag,” “Then just remember to lock the door when we leave.” She huffed and he took her arm as he led her out to the elevator, “Ummm….”

The elevator was broken and she stared defiantly, “Let’s get going…women have had to do worse.” She gritted out and he groaned, “Mami…” When they got on the street where their car was parked, “Noooo, we’re blocked because of a wreck!” Mikasa lamented noticing the wreck that involved a motorcyclist and driver. They looked over at them and David put her bag on the ground, “Excuse me!” He went over and explained that his wife was in labor and they didn’t want to call the ambulance unless absolutely necessary. The men looked on at her with pity and soon he and a group were physically lifting the car out of its space and over where they could get by the wreck.

He came over and picked her up, put her in the car with the bag and shimmied himself into the driver’s side before waving and thanking the men who’d helped. She held his hand squeezing through the pain while small collections of tears formed in her eyes, “I mean….this really hurts.” David allowed himself a small smirk, “Did….did you think that it wouldn’t? Because…you know Mikasa, you’re tough and I could totally see you being like “oh peasants have those issues, not me.” She deadpanned, “I died a few times in childbirth, David.” David went white as a sheet, “Mami, please don’t give me a heart attack.” She snorted, “Sorry, that was pretty bad to bring—“ Her breath hitched and she closed her eyes, it felt like someone was stabbing her all along her stomach, “Another one?” “Mhm.” “Oh fuck this is so bad. I don’t want you to be in pain. Fuck.” She hissed, “You did this.” He went completely still, voice sounding like he’d expected more of her, “Oh….well….there it is….” “What?” “Women always blame the men.” “Because we HAVE to do this. NOTHING COMES OUT OF YOUR WEE WEE!”

He pulled up to the hospital, leaned over, and kissed her sweetly. His voice was low and soothing, honest and sincere, “If I could be a seahorse, mami, I would. I would be the seahorse you deserve.” She laughed and he had a wheelchair pulled up for her. A little humor always helped.

*****************

Mikasa was taken to a shared room when her private was unable to be cleaned. An officer had been stabbed and she understood. If it had been David she would have wanted him to have the private room and his family thanked her. Unfortunately, she would now be delivering in a room with other mothers and it made her a little angry because she wasn’t the nicest person when uncomfortable and didn’t want to have a bad experience on the biggest day of her life. David came in with a bandage on his lip, “Mami, if you can hold off on pushing a room may come open.” She stared at him, “Are you fucking serious. I CANNOT STOP THIS I CANNOT STOP FUCKING PUSHING I CANNOT SUCK IT THE FUCK BACK IN DAVID LAVIE!” His eyes went wide, a look of “oh shit” on his face, “Oh..Oh no you’re cussing um,” he searched the bag that he had for himself and then made a face of joy. He revealed white index cards, “What are those?” she asked curiously. 

He inhaled a deep breath, “Mikasa, everything will be fine. Things may not be going the way we expected, the way you deserve,” Mikasa rolled her eyes, “Noooooo these are from Eren.” “and you are completely entitled to how you feel. We will do everything that we can to make sure that you get what you deserve.” “Did you have him make these for you!?” “Mikasa, when you get to cussing, I know that I’m in deep shit. SO, Mikasa, you are beautiful, your hair is like the wings of ravens, your eyelashes are,” “Long like the reeds in the orient. Yes, yes, yes, I know. He’s been telling me this stuff for years.” David paused in his reading, face curious, “Is it working?” She frowned, mumbling, “Mabye…” then she remembered something important, “CALL THEM BECAUSE YOU KNOW THEY’RE LANDING AND WE WERE TO PICK THEM UP!” David freaked out grabbing his phone, “Of course!” He made to leave and she whistled shortly, “Leave the cards….” “Naturally.” He smiled and laid them down on the bed kissing her cheek quickly.

When he left the woman across from her smiled, “First child?” Mikasa nodded, “I’m on my eighth.” “Really?” Mikasa’s eyes grew two sizes, “Wow.” She smiled wider, “It’s going to be great. HaShem has a plan and it seems you’ve got a great husband as your partner.” Mikasa blushed, “He’s the love of my life.” She had another contraction and let out a small shriek, “Oh, motek, you’re close. I don’t think you’ll get an epidural.” Mikasa wanted to fucking scream at the thought of that.

*********************

Eren grabbed his bag, wiping sleep from his eyes. Levi was drugged, might have a sinus infection, and Erwin had him against him keeping him from falling over. Armin looked at his phone, “Um I have like 16 missed calls from David.” Levi perked up, “What?” He scrambled for his phone and listened to his voicemail. “OH MY GOD!” He drug his luggage forward and the others followed him, “Mikasa is in labor, we’ve got to head to the hospital.” Eren sprung forward, gripping Levi’s arm, “MIKI! LEVI! OHHHH!!!!” Levi swatted at Eren, “I CANNOT HAIL A CAB WITH YOU ON ME!” Eren’s lip trembled, eyes wide and full of tears, “LOVE ME AND STOP YELLING!” Levi looked like he was going stab Eren, “I love you,” he hissed, “and I was not yelling. I do not yell. But, If I did yell, you deserved it.” Eren gasped, “MY SOUL HURTS! YOU’RE KILLING ME! KILLING MY HEART! IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT? DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE OF A BROKEN HEART!? NESHAMA, I HAVE ENDLESS LOVE FOR YOU! I’M OBSESSED WITH YOU!” Levi’s face was the exact picture of “what the fuck oh shit” similar to the memories of them attempting to catch the female titan. Eren knew it was working and Levi wondered when Eren leveled up to Yentl level Yiddish guilt. 

He didn’t have time to think of that right now. Levi got them a cab and started throwing things in the back while Eren managed in Hebrew to tell them the address and explain the situation. Armin and Erwin squeezed into the back, Erwin was rather too large for the area but Armin never minded sitting in his lap.

When they were halfway there a herd of goats blocked them and Levi made a disgruntled noise that Erwin had never heard. He threw money at the driver and they got out with their suitcases in tow and ran along the streets in a grid formation till they could get another taxi closer that let them in and made it to the hospital in no time. The nurses were friendly enough but everything in Israel ran a certain way. People were rude and pushed, they fought for everything tooth and nail and Levi was ruthless getting as much information as possible. Mikasa had been moved nearly four times and wasn’t finished delivering. They had to wait in the waiting room till she did and then they would play it by ear from there. 

Armin leaned on Erwin in the waiting room, “So, I like the name Melania.” Erwin hummed, “I….no….Trump memories…” Armin laughed, “I like Gia or Sophia.” “Why are you on these Italian names?” “I don’t know,” he smirked, “Germans are obsessed with the Italians, you know?” Erwin chuckled, “I have a question that’s semi-important, what languages are we going to use?” Armin gave him a confused look, “Come again?” Erwin looked over at the still fighting Eren and Levi and sighed, “Hey, you two come over here and have a family talk.” Levi grimaced and Eren perked up, walking over to sit in Erwin’s lap. Erwin noticed Levi’s eyebrow twitch at the sight. _Good, let’s get you jealous._

Levi cleared his throat, “You gunna talk?” He was twitching, tapping his foot on the floor due to his nervousness over David and Mikasa. “What language are we going to use at home?” Eren and Levi both looked at him, “Huh?” They both said at the same time. Erwin rolled his eyes, “Listen, we all speak different languages and it would be a shame to just raise our children as monolinguals. If you want to enroll them in the Smith Academy, they’ll be learning languages and if they’re already at least bilingual then they’ll be better off when it comes to the curriculum and possible school acceptance.” Levi glared, “Your pretend school has entrance exams?” “Of course it does, we can’t take everyone.” Both Armin and Erwin nodded like it was the most natural thing in the world and that they were both disappointed that Levi would ask or doubt it. They clearly had high standards and hopes of being highly accredited. “I think I want to speak German.” Armin hummed, “I love the language, it’s my roots, and a good one to be fluent in when they’ll be in the high school level literature classes.” 

Eren looked at Armin, “Have you already…actually built a curriculum?” Levi and Eren were both a little surprised but not terribly so. Still, they felt like bad co-parents. Armin’s eyes were wide and innocent, “Naturally…one must work on it endlessly to ensure that it is successful. I have rotations, blocks, and I’ve made appointments with the Jewish Day School to oversee their curriculum and do a comparison. I’ve also started my certifications and so has Erwin. We’ll be a real school and that will help when they apply to college.” Eren and Levi’s mouths were wide open. Fuck they were behind and damn were the Smiths perfect.

Erwin smiled, “I was thinking I would be the English one, but I can do French, Italian, but Marco has that covered and would gladly speak only in Italian if we asked, and I can do Polish.” Levi looked shocked, “I had no idea you spoke Polish? How did I not know that?” Erwin gave him a dashing smile, “I keep a few things private to impress you from time to time.” Eren looked at the tiles, “I would have said I’d do Turkish…But, why invest in that when I’m not Turkish and I’d just have to explain…so much…” He got choked up and Erwin gave his shoulder a kiss, “You speak others now, correct?” “I speak German but Armin has it covered and I think his is better so that should stay.” “Hebrew?” “Not as good as Levi.” “You speak French now.” Levi offered and Eren blushed, “Not as well as you. You speak Yiddish, I want them to know that. You speak Hebrew, I need them to know that. You speak French, and I’d love for them to know that. Ilya can teach them Ukrainian and Maxim Russian. Erwin needs to do Polish because that’s bad ass. Armin German. I can do Turkish but I don’t know how I feel about it anymore. My French is poor, my Hebrew passing, and my Yiddish is that of a beginner goy.” 

The group was silent and then Armin snorted into giggles, then silence, another snort, silence, a push on Eren, another series of snorts and giggles and more pushing, “Your Yiddish fucking on fleek. What are you even….fuck, Eren. Your Yiddish is so good.” Eren blushed an even darker shade of red, “W-wwhat are you talking about?” Armin’s eyes narrowed, he had such a smug look on his face, “I’m talking about the fact that you almost had me fooled with that bullshit but you forget that our beloved David is an open book when he thinks something isn’t that important or secretive. You study Yiddish from David and I do, too. He mentioned that while he was gone I should have a Yiddish kaffee-klatsch with you and us practice. He sang your praises. Apparently, you and I are naturals but you’re even more than I. Have you not spoken in Yiddish with Levi? Are you hiding it?” 

Eren’s ears were burning, “I’m really not that good.” He mumbled and Armin started to playfully slap his arm, “Come ooooon, you’re just shy. You want to impress Levi and you’ve been hiding it.” Armin said it all in Yiddish, noticing Levi’s eyebrow arch admitting he was impressed. It fed Armin’s ego, “Come on!” Eren looked at Levi and shakily began in Yiddish to explain, “I wanted to learn but you intimidate me and David is just different so I started taking lessons and then reading and combining it with my Hebrew and I just wanted to make you happy and have a really Jewish home like you wanted and like you always wanted to have. I like the language because of its Germanic and Slavic influences and the culture is your culture and I want to be even more a part of that than before.”

Levi blinked and Erwin smiled, “I think Turkish is still important and that you should do mini lessons with the kids when they’re young but I think it’ll be like this: Me and Armin with Polish and German. Ilya and Maxim with Russian and Ukrainian. Jean and Marco with French and Italian. You and Levi with Hebrew and Yiddish and French because Levi’s is super sexy and unique from Jean’s.” Armin nodded, “Yes, I agree.” He looked at Erwin and in Yiddish asked, “Do you understand Yiddish?” Erwin smiled like a beast, “I have tried my best to learn as well. I’d do anything for my little demon to feel more at home.” He looked over at Levi who was still staring at Eren like he’d grown another head or something. Eren smiled shyly under his gaze, “Is it really bad? Do I butcher it?” Levi shook his head, “No, not at all.” And then they were called to come get more information about baby Lavie.

****************

Mikasa and David sat on the bed together. She was sweaty, her hair long and wet. She smelled roses and looked over at the bouquet David had delivered while she was in labor. He was all about the gifts and affection and she was happy. Her push [present](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/01/73/ee/0173eeaeac68dccd33b63ce750ed9eae.jpg) was there, a bee from Tiffany’s because they often called the baby their little honey, and she found it hilarious but after a natural birth she felt she’d earned it. He kissed the top of her head and smiled against her hair. 

She listened to the little sounds, the runts, the grunts, the baby was moving and wrapped in cloths still smelling like her. His hand, so large and strong, was on the little form she held and his tears rolled down his face as he turned against her head to look down at it again. She was nearly moved to tears again at the sight of her baby.

He moved to kiss it, to kiss her. She loved him so much, “Thank you for,” “No,” he stopped her, “thank _you_ for giving me a family, a home, a life. I will do anything to protect you, to protect our family. I will lay my life down gladly. I cherish you, I cherish you and there are no words for how I am in awe of you. Our child is yours more than mine because I cherish it so much more than there are words. I cannot believe it exists, that you exist.” He started to sob, “I only ever wanted this.” She knew the feeling and kissed him to keep him quiet, “I love you.” 

They looked down, “So, a name…”

**************

In the large synagogue David walked up to the scroll with rabbis around him. Levi was with him and Erwin, Armin, and Eren stood among the faithfull in the pews. Mikasa was up on the higher balcony behind the thin gauze that separated women from men but she broke tradition and to the outrage of many lifted her portion and looked out more clearly at her son and her husband. Today he would have his name revealed and he would have a bris afterwards. She cried, she missed her mother, she missed Carla, she missed her father, she missed Grisha. She help the letter in her hand from their last correspondence and she wished they could have just been here for this. If only they could have been here for this.

David looked at his son, swaddled and awake, his eyes open and peering up at him. He grasped his finger and David was moved to tears and so was Levi. When they asked for him to call out the name he did so with a proud but choked voice, “Keita Solomon Lavie.” Levi smiled through his tears at the name. Very fitting that Mikasa got her way with the first name.

Little Keita was born to do great things. David was sure of it.


	133. Zev Friedhelm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zev = Wolf  
> Fried = Peace  
> Helm = Helmet

Armin took Keita and smelled him, “Do all babies smell this good or is this just because it’s Mikasa’s kid and I’m attached?” Levi chuckled, “Both, I think all babies smell good but you’re probably more into it because you also have a bond with the mother.” Armin held him out and Eren grinned looking over at him, “Okay, let’s just get it out there: this is literally the _most_ beautiful baby in the world right now. He’s going to be a model whether he wants to or not.” Erwin started to laugh loudly, freely, jovially, “I was just thinking that. I mean, I’m being objective here, he’s gorgeous. I’ve never seen a baby as handsome.” 

Levi’s eyes were shinning, “Did you see how all those nurses kept coming by to look at him because their friends told them about him? I mean, that’s fucking proof right there. They see babies all the time.” Armin grinned, “I was pretty smug about that when we walked up. Then they were obsessed with all of us because they wanted to know our relationship to him and you could tell they were taking pieces of our faces and trying to place it in his.” Erwin reached over and petted Levi as he moved away like he was burned, “And they were sure that Levi was the father with his unique look.” 

Levi hissed as he tried to further pet on him. Eren moved closer to Armin to look at Keita, “I mean, he’s so pretty and sweet. I’d just stare at him, I don’t think I could go to work or anything. I’d just stare at him for days.” Armin laid his head on Eren’s shoulder, “Mikasa will probably feel like that but then see all those patterns and forms and just strap him on to her and,” Both boys at the same time imitated Tim Gunn, “ _make it work_.” They smiled and Armin looked coyly over at Erwin and then the clock, “We all gotta get ready to head home.”

Mikasa was in the shower and David was helping her. She was bruised and so sore that she needed some help, “I’ll be glad to be able to do things in a few days without help.” David kissed her neck, “I’ll probably keep helping you. I’m still amazed that you made that! That…that you made our son. You did that.” He sounded so impressed and she laughed, “Wow that does wonders for my self-esteem.” He kissed her again, “Good, because I’ve got plenty more where that’s from.”

They appeared shortly after Armin reminded the others they needed to catch their flight. “When are you following?” Levi asked David and David smiled, “In a few hours, actually. Our flight is the night one because Keita has done so well sleeping and eating on a schedule. Mikasa is doing well with breast feeding and we’re going to rent out the apartment to a friend who’ll be staying here only for a few months and they’re coming over in little while for the spare keys.” David smiled and held his arms out to take Keita from Armin, “I feel better than someone who won a prize at a fair.” Armin smiled, “I know, and my god what a beautiful prize. You and Mikasa may have to give us another one because my God the world needs beauties like you two.” David blushed, “Thank you, Armin. You are a great friend.” Armin smiled truly, “David, I really appreciate that.” 

***************

The airport was crowded and the security intense. Erwin looked around at the magazine covers, “We should learn Hebrew.” Armin snorted, “I’m already on it.” Armin looked over at Levi and Eren who were still in a funk. They were promising, though, “Armin?” Armin looked up at Erwin, “Yeah?” Erwin’s hand went to his, “I have a secret.” Armin snorted, “What? Oh God.” “I want….if we have a girl, I want to put her in a pageant and see…what happens…” Armin stared and Erwin felt dread build because this was probably something that Armin was going to shoot down but he had already started looking into it. Armin and he were separated to go through the control point and then when they boarded they sat next to one another and finally had a moment to themselves.

Erwin turned to Armin, “Please say something. I’m dying.” Armin turned to him, “So, first off I wanted to say no but then I was intrigued.” He smirked and Erwin was excited, “Yes, my love?” Armin inhaled, “Okay, let’s have a real talk.” “Real?” “Real real.” “Okay, I’m scared.” “Me too but it’s like anal, you gotta do it to know if it was worth it.” Erwin burst into laughter, “Oh goodness.” He hugged Armin to him, “Glad you found it worth it.” Erwin snickered as Amrin playfully hit him, “Hush!”

Armin inhaled again and Erwin took his hand, “If you keep breathing so dramatically I swear I’ll die.” Armin grinned, “So, I kind of want to spoil our daughter so bad it literally wrecks her and she has such high standards that it’ll keep most men at bay because they’d just go broke.” Armin was happy they were moving and he opened his window, “I know that’s bad but I…I like to be spoiled, I like how rich you are. Like, you’re filthy fucking rich and well, it’s because of me so…” Erwin smirked, “True, you’re such a smart mate. You’ve secured our cushy lifestyle. Thank God you found me so you could be reunited with your cash.” “You make fun but could you even function if you were poor?” Erwin paused, “I’d probably just make a way to get money.” “Oh, yes. But, I like being your baby and I want our kids to be spoiled rotten. I want our sons to be like you and take care and be big papas and I want our daughters to be baby sweet princesses that deserve gold and diamonds. I want them happy and taken care of and I want to set those standards. If they marry someone who is like Levi circa 2006 then that’s fine but I want that to be because they truly love them and not because they’re just tempted when partaking in their rebellious phase. I mean, they’re going to go through that phase.” Erwin kissed his hand, “You know what, that’s exactly what I want too. I want them to stay with us forever…ughhhh what does that say for my psychological issues?” “That we’re fucked up.” “Yeah, damn.” “What about the name Catherine?” “Ewww no…too English. I don’t want common names, baby. I don’t want Steven, William, Catharine, Alice… nope.” Armin smiled, “Gaaaaah yes. I don’t either.” “What are some other names you like?” “Beelzebub.” Erwin looked at him, eyebrows raised, face incredulous, “Um baby, that’s the devil’s name.” “It’s neat though.” “No. hard pass on that.” Armin pouted, “Awwwww.” Erwin laughed, “God, you’re such a little freak.”

*******************

Eren walked inside of the [nursery](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/4b/ba/50/4bba50d627b9f5d76c6134d757d122b0.jpg) for Armin and Erwin, “Wow, this is fucking gorgeous so y’all.” Armin and Erwin smiled proudly as they moved the wooden Israeli animal [toys](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/c6/e1/37/c6e137c58909246b2f148ee7801da814.jpg) Levi and Eren had given them at New Years and suddenly Armin fell onto the rug, “We’re going to have a baby in here in like, three days!” Eren smiled and joined him, “I’m super excited. I kind of want to ease into it through y’all.” “Your baby is due in like, eight days after ours!” Eren smiled, “Yeah but still!” “Can I see the nursery!?” Eren smiled rolling on his side, “TOTS!” Eren took Armin to what was normally Mila’s room, “Eren, this is Mila’s?” Armin started and Eren smiled, “Well, since it’s right next door we updated it for her and our baby. We have this room and then the is another room we’ll use for it that it can grow into. Armin smiled, “Wow, excessive much.” “You’re one to talk.”

He opened the door and the [room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/3d/56/90/3d5690345c097c76355e27a1f99c9ed2.jpg) was freshly painted and redone in such a cute way. He looked at the [crib](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a8/23/f0/a823f00d8aafeb3ea0e216fe31bedbe8.jpg), the [mobile](http://o.aolcdn.com/smp/is/submissions/uploads/123303/559abc6cb2978%24!400x.jpg), the little [lamb](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/bd/45/fd/bd45fdf382d0a99ff7dc41ad342bf417.jpg), the [chair](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/df/c8/c4/dfc8c4e85e2d61a9625c262122438fd2.jpg), and the [bed](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/04/3c/e5/043ce5ee34db6fcd85f947b4dc4800f4.jpg) that Mila was going to use. “Eren, this is so sweet it makes me want to cry.” He looked over at Eren who was tearing up, “Me too, Arm.” He took him to the other [room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/9a/90/e7/9a90e70b70a3135edc873863217b6233.jpg) and Armin thought it was very appropriate for them, “This is going to be such a pretty room to grow up in.” Eren smiled and Levi walked in with Bellamy drinking out of his sippy cup, “It’s best to have them close so young and then when we move them out we can move the next in till Mila’s too old and then it’ll go back to her room.” Armin laughed shortly, “Ha, already on the next one. Damn.” Eren patted Bellamy, “Hey, buddy.” Eren and Levi were still in a tense situation and Armin could feel it. It was making them all sad. “Yo, give me Bellamy and you two can keep setting things up or you know talk and junk.” Levi looked burned and Eren blushed, “Armin!” He hissed quietly, “It’s our business.” Armin snorted, “Yeah, right. Come here Bell.” 

When Armin left Eren went over to the window to look at the clothes that they had for their baby, “Levi, please forgive me.” Levi grimaced, “It’s hard.” “I did it for a good reason.” Levi rolled his eyes to hide his tears, “There’s never going to be a good reason to go back there, Eren. But, humor me, what on earth was your motive?” Eren pulled back, “You say motive like it was premeditated murder!” Levi wiped his face, “It feels like murder.” “I did it because I wanted us to…move past what happened and what the sins of our father’s were.” Levi was intrigued, “The sins of the father shall be visited upon the children. What sins are you worried about? My sins are my own.” He was harsh and Eren bit his lip so hard it bled, “I just think that…never mind.” Eren walked out of the room and Levi was a bit taken aback since Eren knew how he felt about leaving arguments but he was so hurt he didn’t really want to continue it either. Eren went to Armin’s room and took a sleeping Bellamy. “Where are Jean and Marco?” “Work, they went to Atlanta to do paperwork for Bellamy, to check on Jean’s stuff in the gallery, and for Marco to get some sources for his pieces he’s working on.

Bellamy was asleep and he carried him down the hall where Levi leaned against the wall, “You runnin’ away?” Eren stopped, anger rising, “Isn’t it funny we could handle Armin dying and me sleeping with Erwin and we got through finding out we were having a baby by surprise. I have never not trusted you, ever. I have never asked you why or for clarification of any sort. Think about it, I was eighteen when I met you and from the first day you’ve led us. I’ve suggested things, I’ve planned, but I always knew you had the last say, not me. I default to you always.” Eren’s eyebrows furrowed, he sounded a little bitter and maybe he was because this was the point, he was watched, tracked, he was always under Levi’s watchful eye and that was fine… _until I do it to him fuck that fuck him fuck it all fuck._ “I’m going downstairs.” He went down the stairs and left a very shocked Levi against the wall feeling sick and shameful.

Eren rocked Bellamy back and forth before he sat down on the couch. Bellamy’s hand fell limp and his cup was barely caught by Eren who smiled at how cute he was. His true personality was coming out more and more and while he preferred someone of the same things that Levi preferred like cleanliness, order, and routine, he was very curious, creative, and he and Mila were great friends that loved to swim. Eren laid him in his lap and looking at him, with his little head and mess of dark, so dark, hair, so sweet to look at, was too much for him to resist and he carded his fingers through his hair with the aquanauts playing on the TV. Eren closed his eyes, missed his momma, missed his dad. He thought about calling Mikasa but she was busy with her child and probably didn’t need to rehash the sadness he knew she felt just as badly as he did. 

He admired Bellamy, wondered what his parents had been like. The papers said they had given him up because they couldn’t feed him. The mother was older and so was the father but they were not able to handle the child. They seemed strange; they thought they might be on drugs. They were supposed to come back and finish interviews with the orphanage but instead they left the child and their trail ended at the border of Ukraine and Russia. They might have been criminals according to the nurses that raised him from only a month old. Eren was thankful though, Bellamy really belonged to Marco and Jean. He could hear him softly say Papa when he wanted Jean and it made his heart feel all the feels. His thumb moved behind his ear and he noticed his freckles were even in his hairline to a point. Bellamy had beautiful freckles that made all of the women at the supermarket coo and congratulate Marco on such a handsome son. He looked closer at his freckles in his hair and then he found one that was really strange. He smiled to himself and wanted to take a picture to send to Jean.

He leaned in, his other hand going to his phone, when he thought that the freckle looked more like a letter. He looked closer, his throat closing up, “Tau,” he heard it in his soul as he realized what they letter was: ת. “Eren, your mother and I have these letters tattooed on us. We both have mem. Here, look….” 

His stomach dropped and it was deafening like a grenade had gone off. His vision darkened, his vision blurred, he felt like he was suspended but falling at the same time. His back was hot, washed in sweat, and his lungs burned for lack of air. He was moving too quickly yet not at all. His panic, his anxiety, his feelings he’d been repressing all rose to the surface, shooting up like a spring break free from the crust of the earth and then he heard Donner’s loud bark and it broke through the silence, scarring him and hurtling him further into his internal trauma and panic. 

Donner growled, menacingly, he sounded like thunder rumbling from the Gods, Thor was inside of him and he barred his fangs at him, snarls falling between bone white teeth. His tail was completely still, he was crouched, feral like and ready to tear Eren apart. Bellamy was still somehow asleep and then Levi appeared, distraught at what was happening with Donner. Eren was still in the throes of his emotions and Donner laid on his stomach growling and snarling while keeping his eye on Eren. Levi walked forward and Eren shifted Bellamy’s head off of his lap and onto the couch. Donner went silent, it seemed he wanted Bellamy away from Eren and Eren understood because he was about to have a horrible panic attack and someone should be in charge of the small child and if he’d learned anything from Disney movies that was just what animals were for. 

Eren wheezed, he felt out of control, his body was taken over and now he was helpless to stop it. Levi was on his but he fought him, slapped him, punched him, everything he could but he wasn’t in his right mind. Still, he really was aiming to hurt him as he sobbed more, screamed, wheezed, and felt overwhelmingly hot and desperate. It was like his body was being cooked from the inside. Levi was yelling for Erwin and Armin, they appeared. He carried Eren away and they would look over Bellamy if Donner would even let them.

Levi was scared to death he’d done this. He was ridden with guilt and didn’t know what to do to make it better. Eren had had two attacks in his presence and they were nothing like this. It was getting worse and he knew the feeling. He pulled him into the bathroom on the first floor and into the shower, turned the water on cool because Eren’s skin was so red and blotchy, he had red hives everywhere, Levi could drag his finger over his skin slightly and it would swell up. He knew that this was misfiring of the brain, releasing the reactions of an allergic reaction. He needed to give him a shot of steroids. He needed to turn off doctor brain and just be there for his husband.

Eren was still fighting him and there was blood in the water. Levi just grit his teeth and bore the brunt force of Eren which wasn’t easy at all but he had no choice. Eren was hysterical and his words were just falling out of his mouth and Levi was trying to sort them out. He leaned his head against the white tile in the shower, his hair matted to his head, scratches in his cheeks and neck bleeding. His nose was also bloody and he closed his eyes sighing.

He wasn’t sure how long they’d been in the shower but eventually Eren became silent and he sagged against his chest exhausted. His skin had red blotches from where the hives had died down and he fell asleep for a short five or six minutes before waking back up. “You already know this. Dad and mom,” he began, voice hoarse, “were abducted from their families and handed over to the Reiss to raise. But…They had tattoos, all kids who are abducted and are of the Iron teeth have them.” Levi took a deep breath, “Bellamy has a tattoo?” Eren whimpered pitifully, “Mm yeah. Tau. Mom and dad had mem.” Levi tried to let it sink in, “So, he’s a child with iron teeth and he was taken from his parents. Where are they…” “They’re dead. They kill the entire village when they take children. The parents that left him were Reiss fleeing for some reason.”

Eren took a shaky breath, “In little Moscow there’s a building,” Levi was confused from the start, “Eren! What?” “and it’s small and looks like a cement closet for beach supplies,” “Have we been there? What are you talking about?” “and there’s a hole for a key and that key is mine and when I use it there a door opens in the floor with a thumb reader,” “No, I don’t like this at all.” “and when you go down the stairs there are these screens and there are these machines and people work there but they can’t talk, Levi, they can’t talk at all and in the middle of the room is this machine,” “Eren, stop, you’re scaring me.” “and inside of that machine,” “God, no.” “are my tears and my tears are now in the water we drink, that we cook with, that we shower with. My tears have been in our water for twenty years. That’s how long they needed to make sure that the secret was kept from me.”

Levi snorted, “Nooooooo what?” Eren started to cry again, “The Reiss family can control people through water, through fluride, and they used this method inside the walls, poisoned wells when they wanted certain cities to become titans. Remember Connie’s mother. And so dad’s entire goal, his entire…purpose was to make me the cure. I am the cure. My tears have something in them, I produce something, and he took those tears and gave them to Gabriel Smith. Gabe was the one who made my father continue to use his babies for this purpose. It’s why he brought him to Maria, why he gave him money. My father worked for the soviets and they were also putting pressure on his to work with Gabe and they threatened to kill my mother if he didn’t. He was forced to do it because if he didn’t he’d lose my mom and then lose any chance of ever having a real family.”

“He asked…Gabe what would he do if it was his children he was doing these things to and Gabe said…” Levi was on pins and needles, “He said “I’ve never thought of it like that.” And just hung up, never fazed him. Marilyn’s letters also made my father continue his work because she promised it would be worth it. Dad told me that the entire reason that he was so opposed to me marrying you or Erwin and Armin being together is because he knew once we met that we’d start figuring things out and the twenty years wasn’t done. He never disliked you…it was all a show. All of it was to protect us.” Levi didn’t fully understand, “What….was it, was it worth it?” Eren was shaking and Levi moved to turn the water on warmer, “Eren?” His voice was soft, coaxing, “Please…ahuvi, I need you to talk to me.” “When dad did it he gave the tears and information to Owen.” “Owen…Mike’s dad?” “Yeah, and he built the water filters and he set it all up. It started filtering into the water in the south east, then they moved out west and covered that area, and there may be one in Europe but I don’t…yeah, probably in Turkey, actually.” 

Levi wanted to understand but he couldn’t, “Why?” “Because when we start to close in on them then they will try to use their power to awake something like the titans and this will prevent them. This is the smoking gun I guess you could say. My father figured out how to foil them and their ultimate weapon but they don’t know. They’ll try and it won’t work. They won’t know why. They don’t know about the machines because it’s been hidden so well. Only Owen now knows about it.” Eren thought about it more, “Owen knew my why dad and mom were killed. He knows he’s next.” Levi cringed, “Eren, don’t say that.” “It’s true, though.”

“I feel like I’m going to always be finding out more and more about the sins of my father and I feel like I’m so guilty for all he’s done and all he couldn’t do. I’m not at all like him. I can’t figure things out like he could, like you. I married a man that was more like my father in that way. I don’t want our kids to know any of this. I thought I did but I just don’t want them to know. I think that this is something that would keep them down in the dumps…” Levi snorted, “I don’t want to lie, mami.” Eren smirked, “Mami? Bitch please, I’ve wanted to be called mami forever and you only call Armin that. Don’t fuck with me, Levi.” Eren huffed and Levi let lose something he’d been thinking about asking since Little Moscow was mentioned, “Do you want me to go back because you think that I’ll get something from it you got from going there?

“I want to see Williamsburg because I want to show you Little Moscow. I have some sort of peace, a strange small peace, from going with dad and finding out what really happened. I have mom’s diary too. She wrote it all down and you can read it. I want you to know these things about me and about my origins. But, I’m selfish, Levi. I want to know about Williamsburg and I want you to maybe find peace. You’re cooking under the surface because I can feel it. I can sense it. I’m going to need you to watch me as a parent, make sure I don’t lose my temper. I’m asking you to keep me in line.” “But, you’re actually worried about me.” “Yeah, sorry. Whose gunna control me if you’re insane? I mean, when you reacted the way you did with Zad about Gabe when we were building the Tiny House…” “Let it go.” “No, I can’t. You know I’m right.”

Levi pressed a kiss to the inside of his neck, “I don’t want to go back there, Eren.” Eren nodded, “Okay…Its fine if you don’t but just know that you can.” Levi turned the water off, “You’re going to get sick and you need a shot.” Eren’s eye widened comically, “NOOOOOO I DON’T WANT A SHOT!” “YES!” Levi said it sternly, “You need one so you won’t be all itchy!” Eren pouted, “Shots hurt.” “Shots save lives.” “Call me mami when you do it.” “No, it was a slip, nothing more.” He carried Eren in his arms out and to the laundry room where they dried themselves and changed. Eren kissed the mezuzah on the door and they went to the office to get his shot. Levi kissed the skin after he gave him the shot and Eren snorted, “How unsanitary of you.”

He put a superman band aid on and smirked, “You’re a superhero now.” Eren smirked, “Am I?” “Yeah, says so right here.” He pressed it down on his skin more, “Come to bed with me. We should talk more and I want to be warm and near you.” Eren nodded, “Yeah.” He moved off the couch and up into his arms where they embraced. They could hear Armin and Erwin walking down the hallway and Armin popped his head in, “We’re putting Bell in his room to play for a bit and then we’ll have dinner, ok?” Levi shook his head, “Eren and I are going to our room to,” “Be together? Cool. Want us to tell you when supper is ready and y’all can just get it and bring it back up?” “Yeah, mami.”

Eren sighed, “Seeeeeeeeee it isn’t fair.” “Hush.” Levi rolled his eyes, “I love you.” Eren bristled but moved to take his hand and pull him towards the door, “Whatever. It’s just so sexy.” Armin giggled, “I know. I love it.” They went to their room and crawled in bed, Donner joining them by jumping up and licking Eren’s face. Levi petted him, “Donner,” Donner stilled turning his head to look at Levi, “you really scared me. You must have been really freaked out by Eren and was worried that Bellamy would get hurt.” Levi smiled as Donner licked at his hand moving over to lay his head on his stomach, “Old boy, you’re the best in the world. You’re the greatest dog, the bestest friend anyone could have.” Eren smiled joyfully, “You said bestest.” Levi smiled, “Because Donner is the bestest.” He kept petting him and they talked softly about all the hard things in their life.

*******************

Hanji opened their bag and prepared the room for the birth. They started the drip and noticed that the womb was showing signs of labor already. In fact, that was great. They wanted it to be as natural as a man made flesh bag bearing children could get. The womb regulated itself with the hormones that they injected and thanks to the serum base everything in the amniotic fluid was sterile and hospitable. They could see the outline of the baby, the skin tight across its feet. Hanji smiled at little baby Smith and then they went downstairs.

Mike was wearing an old T-shirt, smelled like hay, and was reclined on the couch with Mila watching the Powerpuff girls with Erwin. Mila loved the Powerpuff girls and she loved watching them with her daddy and uncle Erwin. “What do you think happened to Mojo Jojo?” Mike’s voice was slow like molasses and Erwin snorted half-ass, “Like…when he was a kid?” “Yeah,” Mike continued, “he’s so angry all the time. He’s just…he keeps trying to hurt these little girls.” “He isn’t really. He’s…jealous, you know? Maybe he just needs validation?” Mike nodded, “I feel like Blossom would realize that and tell the girls.” 

Erwin took a sip of his cherry coke, “What if, now this is gunna sound crazy.” Erwin said in a hushed manner, not that they were loud to begin with, “Oh yeah, lay it on me Win.” Erwin turned towards him a little bit more, “What if they let Mojo live with them. What if they treated him like an uncle?” Mike inhaled and smiled, “Yeeeaaaah, show him how to love again. Make peace, not war. I like how you think brother.” Mila giggled at as they fought Mojo Jojo and Mike and Erwin laughed at the well timed chirp of laughter.

Hanji smiled, “Hey, Erwin?” Erwin turned to them and was immediately at attention, “Where’s Armin?” “He’s with Eren and Levi cleaning and trying to prepare even more than we are.” Hanji sat down in the accent chair, “Well, in about four hours or so I think we’ll be crowning.” Erwin’s eyes lit up, “Really? Just…oh my God….woah…” Hanji tilted their head to the side, “You’re high…” Mike smirked and kind of shrugged while Erwin looked guilty and cast his gaze to the floor, “It’s just Xanax…I started to freak out and Armin and Levi made me take it. Only one, though. I’m just chill.” Hanji bit their lip and looked at Mike who shrugged again smirking to himself, “I smoked a bowl, not gunna lie.” They threw a pillow at him, voice chiding, “You’re a father!” Mike chuckled, deep rumbling in his chest, “Who can handle a bowl, Hanji. You can handle more than that. Don’t front, baby.” They got up and walked over to kiss him, “Whatever. Shush.”

Hanji relaxed and soon Mila was wanting down and to find Bellamy or Donner most likely. And she was in luck. Marco came down from his room where Bellamy had taken his nap and he was awake and ready to play. They sat together, toys around them in their play area that was fenced off and Mila showed Bellamy all of her stuffed animals and they played with blocks and watched the TV together making babbling sounds and talking to one another. Erwin fell over on the couch, head in Mike’s lap, “Man, I’m going to be a father.” Mike smirked, he patted his shoulder and grabbed it to show affection, “It’s the craziest, best thing in the world, Win. I mean, to wake up and see that little face, for that little person to love on you and need you,” he got choked up and Erwin chuckled, “You’re so soft.” “man it’s beyond words.” Zadkiel came inside, snow on his jacket, “It started when I was at the store. I’ve got the formula and everything.” He set the bag down and patted Erwin’s face, “Gindele, you’re going to be a father and I see you’re already trying to escape with drugs. I’m proud, just what I would do.” He took Erwin’s beer and sat down, “You shouldn’t mix. I’ll take this one for the team.”

Armin came down the stairs when there was a knock on the door. It was Mikasa, David, and Keita. He was safely in a baby holder on Mikasa with a cute little hat on, “Did you make that hat?” Armin said cheeky and Mikasa gave him a coy look, “Of course. I made it before we came.” David popped over her shoulder, smiled like a proud papa, “Look at his eye lashes!” Armin lifted the cap and gasped, “THEY’RE SO PRETTY!” Mikasa blushed like a proud mother, “I made those.” “YOU’RE HERE!” Eren appeared, “WHERE IS MY LITTLE NEPHEW!!??” He leaned down and kissed his head, Mikasa giggled, “Let us in its super cold!” David pushed them forward into the foyer, “Let’s get this baby show on the road.” He was so excited that the rest of the family couldn’t help but catch some of his excitement. Armin started dinner with Eren and soon Levi appeared to dote on Keita and play with Mila and Bellamy. Mikasa noted that Levi seemed to find playing with the kids more appealing than just about anything. She came to sit with him and bounced Keita slightly. Levi looked at her, “You’re a beautiful mother.” She blushed, “Shut up.”

He smirked devilishly, “Did you think I was flirting?” She snorted, “Hush.” “You did. You liked it.” “Shut up.” “You know what? She didn’t say anything and Bellamy stared at her like he normally did. He wasn’t sure about her or David yet. Levi tilted his head to the side, he looked extremely handsome, lip turned up at the corner, slight show of teeth between his lips, he purred, “Maybe I was?” She really did start to laugh and he joined her. “I can’t believe that Armin and Erwin are about to have a baby. I am so excited. I’m also very sleepy.” Levi looked at David, “Achki?” David turned to look at him, “Ja?” “What’s wrong with you?” “What?” “You’re wife tells me she’s sleepy, you let your wife be sleepy? Why are you not taking care of her?” David looked surprised and turned to look at him from over the back of the sofa, “I! I do! Why would I not take care of my wife? I love my wife. She’s my wife!” He raised his hands in exclamation, “You think I’m not doing for my wife?” Levi shrugged, “She’s over here barely staying awake. Look at her.” He motioned to Mikasa, “She’s exhausted, her eyes, her skin, you can see how tired she is.” David stood up, “Mami, I must beg your forgiveness!” 

Mikasa was picked at by Levi and David after he walked over to the pen until Eren joined in and then thankfully it was time for her to feed Keita, “I don’t have a breastfeeding cloth.” Levi looked at her, “You don’t need one?” “Exactly. I’m not going to put my baby under a cloth and cut him off from the world when he eats. I think that’s cruel and I’m not going to hide myself in some room either. Bottles have nipples, too.” Levi blinked, “I’m a feminist, please let your nipples be free.” She smiled, “I’ve already had some people try and shame me, sorry. I know you’re a feminist.” He moved closer, “Really? How?” She moved quickly, pinching him, “Because if you weren’t we would have a problem!” Jean appeared, “Bell, whatcha got there?”

Bellamy looked up at Jean and showed his little box of markers, “Do you want to color?” Bellamy shook his head and Jean stepped inside of the pen to sit down at the little table they had to color. When it was time to eat dinner Ilya and Maxim joined them, excited that in only two hours they’d have a new addition to the family. Maxim and Ilya held hands, whispered things to one another in Russian and then they presented Erwin and Armin a gift at the end of the dinner.

“Because you’re family, blood, I had to get something a little special for you.” It was a co-sleeping [bed](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a5/6a/5c/a56a5ca0a44a9d48f8da75d7e6673610.jpg) and Erwin snorted, “I don’t think we’ll be co-sleeping but we were thinking of getting one for traveling.” Maxim nodded and Ilya smirked, “Exactly why we picked it. You rich motherfuckers are always traveling.” Armin laughed and opened the other portion of the gift which was a [quilt](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a7/d6/93/a7d69346fa55dcaacb865fad717529b7.jpg) that brought him to tears, “Wow, I’m just really emotional. Did you make this?” Maxim nodded, “In our village, this is customary to make for new child.” Bellamy wanted to see the quilt and Maxim smiled while Ilya spoke to him in Ukrainian, “You like this Belka? You want us to make you one?” Bellamy smiled, letting loose a loud exclamation of joy looking to Marco and Jean expectantly while everyone else laughed. 

Hanji finished their water, “Well, it’s time for me to go up and wait. I’d say since the room is so small Armin, Erwin, and Levi, okay maybe Eren too, can be in there but no more, that’s too much. Levi will you assist me?” Levi finished his wine, “Duh.” Hanji laughed, “Elegantly said as always.” They stood up and went to the stairs and Mila cried when she couldn’t see her mother and screamed when Levi left. The others turned to her and her father picked her up, “I know, sometimes I want to scream too when your momma goes away.” He was still smooth, calm, he was what everyone needed in life. Zad got up and followed, asking if he had any more weed. He was a little sad to be missing the birth.

******************

Armin and Erwin were beyond excited and nervous. Armin leaned against Erwin’s chest, Erwin’s large hands on his shoulders as the baby was about to crown. Hanji smiled as they monitored the progress, “Yeeeessss look at how the sack contracts!” Levi snorted, “It’s so gross. I love it.” Hanji cackled, “That’s a first!” Levi hissed and Hanji laughed louder, “Wow, come on little one, let’s show your parents what you are!” Levi stared more as the child’s head appeared. He tilted his head, eyes going wide. Hanji was quiet too and when Levi knelt down suddenly to get a better look Hanji sure he was seeing what she was seeing. “Well, we’ve almost got a head. Is it hot in here?” Hanji pulled at their collar and Levi understood.

“Hey, I know y’all want to be in here but it looks like there’s going to be some more fluid to drain and deal with than with Iris. Y’all need to move out in the hall till we get it out and can hand it over. It would be dangerous with so many people in here and unexpected discharges from the womb.” Erwin and Armin frowned. Erwin stepped forward, “Levi, let Armin stay in and me and Eren will go out.” Levi sighed, “Einayim sheli, I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t sure that there could be danger.” Armin grabbed Erwin’s hand, “It’s okay. I trust Levi and Hanji. Come on.” 

They left and Hanji let out a deep breath, “What, the, fuck?” Levi nodded, “I couldn’t start explaining things while it was going on. This is not at all what I thought.” Hanji nodded, “I mean…this could be nothing, could be innocently something that we never thought of, could be a product of the womb, could be something with the baby, could be something with the baby that’s harmless, moderately harmful, or really serious…” Levi stared at the head, looked at its color, “Yes,” he said slowly, “it could be all of those things and none of them at the same time.” He moved his hands forward to touch the head and help guild the baby out. Everything was wrong and they were too late. He could only reply with one word before the panic set it, “Shit.” 

****************

Armin and Erwin pressed against the door, “Can you hear anything?” Armin asked insistently and Erwin shook his head, “No, nothing. Maybe it’s still crowning.” Eren sat down, “I can’t believe it.” Armin huffed, eyes full of tears, “Me either. I’m about to have a baby!” He smiled and Eren did too turning to take his hand and kiss it, “We’re going to do such a shitty job.” They all giggled but then Erwin started to get really emotional, “Baby, you’re going to be an awesome parent. I’m probably just gunna sit with them at my desk and be the dad you see in movies whose only around for a few scenes.” He seemed really upset about that and Armin hit him playfully, “Ridiculous. You’re going to be the mountain man they climb on.”

*************

Nearly five minutes after the baby left the womb, Levi looked at the baby in his hands, his voice hollow and croaky, “It’s blue.” Hanji cut the cord after unwinding it, they held it up, hands shaking, voice low and nervous, mind close to breaking, “Must have gotten tied around its neck.” Levi kept staring, his lips were quivering, “I can’t do this.” Hanji felt winded, “Levi…” Levi was shaking, entire body moving, he’d tried everything he could think of up to this moment, Hanji knew it, he knew it, how could it be dead, how could this be what happened today, _No, I…I…can’t hand them a corpse._

“I don’t accept it.” He took it over to the station and started to suction its nose and throat again. It hadn’t cried, it hadn’t moved, it was probably long dead since the inside of the womb. Who really knew? Levi wasn’t able to feel anything at that moment. Hanji had given up. He could feel it.

He started CPR and turned the heat lamp on trying to get it warmer in his hands. Hanji snapped into the same numb space, going through the motions to distract them from Levi’s insanity, “I’ll get blood, might be anemic.” Levi started to turn pink, then red, then purple, he was gasping, wheezing, his emotions bubbling over as it refused to breathe, refused to live. Hanji was crying, silent tears streaming down their face. They came behind him with the blood in their hand and laid their other one on his shoulder, biting their lip till it bled. “Levi…”

Levi was so desperate, so mad, so upset, so, so, so, _NO!_

He turned the baby over suddenly and slapped it’s back harshly, Hanji jumped at it.

Once

Twice

Thrice

Hanji sobbed loudly and then there was a gurgle, water dislodging, and a cry, weak, but it was there. Levi and Hanji nearly collapsed together, sobbing with relief, their head was pressed in between his shoulder blades, his mouth fell open in a strangled look of primal ache. He carried the baby over to the weighing table; they started to record the time of birth, the sex, the attributes. Then Levi drew blood for testing because they needed to know what was what. Hanji started to examine the blood while Levi checked it out more thoroughly, thinking out loud, “Must have swallowed it inside of the womb, the fluid, had the cord wrapped around it and when it tried to breathe it sucked the fluid in suddenly.” Hanji hummed, “Checked the heart the entire gestation and it was fine but do it again just to be sure.”

Levi did and noted the heart was good but he worried about its lungs, then he noticed it had defecated inside the womb, “It needs to have its lungs looked at. It was in the womb with the fecal matter, may have consumed it.” Hanji sighed, “We should scope it.” Levi grimaced, “Damn it. I don’t want to do that.” He held the baby in his hands, it was doing fine, like a normal little baby, but he noticed so much that made him sick with worry. Hanji paused, “Just go ahead and do it because we’ve only got so long before we have to tell Armin and Erwin and we need as much done as possible before we tell them…” Hanji trailed off, they leaned back from the computer and the microscope, “Well, I guess we have an answer.” Levi walked over to look at the results, “At least…we know what it is.” Hanji frowned, “We gotta check its eyes.”

Levi and Hanji wiped their tears for a second. He handed the baby to Hanji to do an eye exam. Levi’s head was buried in the crook of their neck and his arms wrapped around them and their chair to hug them to him. Hanji cried more after the exam.

********************

Hanji opened the door and let them inside. Armin and Erwin barreled in and Eren followed cautiously. Armin saw Levi holding the little form swaddled already and he stopped short of them, eyes full of tears of joy and wonder. Erwin was crying too and he stepped forward and pushed Armin towards Levi, he decided to give him a hint, “You can hold _him_ first.” Armin turned around, “It’s a boy!?” He jumped a bit, voice high and surprise and excited, face pink and so blissfully happy. He turned to Levi, his face so emotional, “Wow!” he exclaimed, “We have a son!?” He looked to Levi confirm and he smiled softly, “Yeah, its little boy. You have a son.” Eren noted that Levi seemed to be in pain, he noted Hanji was gaunt looking and there were things on the floor, blood, and Eren’s stomach started to knot. Something was wrong. _Oh, no. Levi…_ “But, I need to tell you, he doesn’t look like you think he does.” 

Armin looked panicked, “W-w-what?!” Erwin also looked upset, “What’s wrong with him?” Hanji stepped over suddenly, “Oh! He’s got all of his parts, fingers, toes, nose, all of it. Don’t worry about something like that. It’s just…Just his skin is different.” Levi looked from them to them, “Oculocutaneous Albinism. He’s albino, he looks really pretty though, very handsome actually. He looks like he’s made of snow.” His voice was so affectionate it melted their hearts and the little form moved as if it knew he was being spoke about. Levi smiled and showed them his face, moving the blanket down, and Armin started to really cry tears of utter relief and astonishment. He covered his mouth and then stretched out his hands to take him, “Oh he’s so beautiful. Erwin, he’s so beautiful. I’ve never seen someone as beautiful. Look!” Erwin’s arm went around his shoulders to draw him near and his other around his other side, around his child that Armin held so lovingly. He embraced his family in his arms and Levi thought it was the most moving moment he’d ever seen of Erwin’s life with him.

He kissed Armin’s head and his fingers gently traced his son’s face. Levi was still holding back, “We, unfortunately, he’s,…” Armin and Erwin looked at him, their eyes full of dread, “There were a lot of problems.” Hanji spoke up, “He died.” Levi was jarred and their reactions nearly killed him. Eren tried to give him a reassuring look, the words tumbled out of his mouth as he looked at Eren, “T-t-he umbi-l-l-lical cord ch-ch-oked him, he defecated and swallowed the fecal matter and fluid inside the womb so we had to do a scope and he’s going to have scar tissue. H-h-ee, Hanji please take over, I can’t do this.” 

Levi looked like he was going to cry again and Hanji took over again, “When ran some tests after we confirmed he had albinism and after we cleared his lungs. He’s got a rare autoimmune disease and the type of albinism he has affects the eyes as well as the skin. While most people live healthy lives without any real problems...” Armin closed his eyes clutching him closer to him, clearly in pain from the information, “But, what’s wrong with him?! That’s what you’re trying to tell me.” Hanji continued, “Aside from the fact you’ll have really take care of his skin because skin cancer is common among albinos, and he’ll get sick more easily than other kids till we can find a way to handle the disease, his eyes are much worse than most with this type of albinism. He tests in the lowest category. He’s more than likely going to be nearly blind by three and completely blind at five. It’s something that we’re going to have to monitor and prepare for.”

Armin and Erwin felt like a bomb had gone off in their hearts, they cried and allowed Eren to sit them down and then they cried more. Levi and Hanji sat down with them and explained more about the prognosis. Eren tried to just be supportive. When Erwin took his baby in his hands and kissed him with tears rolling down his face Levi had to leave. He couldn’t handle it. His heart hurt too much.

Hanji sighed, “He’s going to be sick a lot till we can get his autoimmune issue under control.” Armin nodded, “Yeah, I was really sick too. We need to look at….my medical history. It might help us understand his better. I’m sure it’s my entire fault and he got it from me and the albinism.” Erwin’s jaw was tight, “And the blindness?” Hanji shook their head, “He’s too young for surgery right now.” “When can he have it?” “Maybe at one. But…it’s a slim chance that it’d make a difference. We also have to watch that he doesn’t’ go deaf.” Armin gasped liked he’d been hit, “Deaf!? If he deaf? Can that happen?!” Hanji nodded, “That can happen too. He’s responding normally, though.” Erwin was distraught, “Why didn’t the serum do anything?” “It’s not pure and he wouldn’t have been able to it if it was. That’s not really something small children can handle. It’s so radical still. And if a short term version was used then the problems could come back, what if the body built up immunity? It’s too risky and off the table. I’d say, these are hard things and I understand how…being a parent means that you’ll never stop worrying but you deserve to celebrate your child, you’re little boy who’s so handsome and currently, despite those issues, alive and not in the NICU where most would need to be.” “Did he really die?” Armin could sense something, “He…wasn’t breathing and he was blue. We were convinced he was too far gone to save. Levi wouldn’t let up. He got him to breathe again and now he’d got another chance. He’s a fighter. Levi is a fighter. He wouldn’t give up on your child for anything.”

Armin and Erwin were still so upset and Hanji knew they needed some time. They patted Armin’s leg, “It’ll work out. You’re going to find a way like always. He’s going to be so happy, loved, and so smart like you two. The challenges will come but you’ll overcome them and learn.” Erwin’s lip quivered, “Thank you. Can we have some alone time with him.” Armin started to cry again, “Yeah, Han, we gotta name him.” Hanji nodded and smiled, “Give him a good name.” They stood and went to the door, “Levi and I will tell the others so you don’t have to. I don’t want you to have to talk about it right now.”

Armin turned in towards Erwin and nuzzled against him, “Blind…deaf…he died.” His voice broke and Erwin shuddered, “But, Levi didn’t let him, Armin. Levi gave him a chance to live and a chance for us to know him and love him. We have to do the same. We have to give him a chance and just wait till he’s old enough for the surgery. We’ll keep looking at our options. Plus, he may not go deaf at all and that’s just something we need to be on the lookout for. We learned a little sign language and we can start signing to him young so that if it happens he’ll know.” Armin stared at him, “He looks like you and Zadkiel. Wow, he looks so Smith.”

Armin’s finger traced his little lips while he grunted and tried to open his eyes, “What color are they?” His finger gently caressed the white long lashes and his mouth opened, looking for food probably, and he started to grunt more and move inside of the blanket. His right eye opened, the left still slightly stuck and barely opening to a slit. Erwin chuckled, “Come on, son. Open the other one. Show us your pretty eyes.” “He’s so so pretty Erwin. He’s ours. He’s you and me together.” Armin was crying again, “Wow…wow…really just wow. I can’t believe this is our son.” He opened them, they looked red, like wine of maroon glass, and somehow it fit him. Armin and Erwin were consumed by their child and looked for all the features that they could place as being either Armin or Erwin. Erwin kept winning out, “He’s going to be a big guy I bet.” Armin said grinning, “I’m hoping he’ll be just as big as you.”

Erwin pressed a kiss to his forehead before kissing Armin. They stayed lips locked, conveying all they couldn’t say to one another. Erwin nuzzled his nose in his hair, “That smell…” “I want to lick him.” “I know…” Armin looked at him, “Can I?” “Well, we made him so yeah. It’s a psychological thing, remember? I sent that article.” “Ooooh I do.” Armin lightly licked him, “Don’t tell him I ever did this.” Erwin chuckled, very amused, “I’m going to do the same thing so don’t tell him either.” 

Armin’s hand carded through Erwin’s hair, “I want to name him after Levi because he saved his life and I need him to be strong. I want him named after someone who is strong and never gives up.” Erwin nodded, “So, we’ll do Zev like we agreed on. Zev comes from Velvel and means wolf.” “Wolfgang?” “Wolf and Wolf? No…I don’t think it’d be a fit.” “Zev Wolfgang Smith. Zev Johan Smith?” “You like Beethoven and Mozart.” “I know….well, Friedhelm…it’s been one of my favorite German names since I was little. It was the name of a character I made up. I used to pretend it was the name of a really neat German king who loved books, fun, music, basically everything I like but happy and bad ass. He was my favorite thing to daydream about. I wanted to be like him.” Erwin smiled, “I like it. I like Zev Friedhelm Smith. Do you like it, little one?” He moved to reveal his hand, counted the little fingers and felt them, so small, so fragile against his finger, his one finger was so much stronger than this little hand.

*********************

He had a fever, pneumonia, his lungs were going to have more scar tissue and Levi said he’d have to take him to the hospital if things didn’t improve. Armin was tired, Armin was sad, he was broken as he listened to his child cough, refuse the bottle, turn pink all over from fever. He was in the nursery, tissues all around him from where he’d blown his nose and cried. Erwin was worse. He couldn’t handle him being like this and he was medicated and going through the motions to help Armin but they were helpless. They were zombies.

Eren came inside and looked at Armin in the chair. They didn’t need to speak. Eren sat in the chair with him and held him, rocking him while he cried. Eren hummed Mi Scheberach and looked over at little Zev, their sick little wolf pup.

******************

He sneezed, “Bless you!” Erwin said as he admired him in his hands. Zev was awake, still feverish and not taking the bottle like he should. But right now, in the clam of the moment, Erwin didn’t care about that because he had a son, a little baby boy. Zev cooed, opened his eyes for a few precious moments. He kissed his fingers and toes, he smelled him and then suddenly there was a weight in the chair and he felt Levi there, “Ten fingers and ten toes. I counted and recounted them for you.” Erwin looked up at him, “Look at him.” Levi smirked, “Oh, you don’t have to twist my arm.”

Levi kissed Erwin, “You’re a father now.” Erwin chuckled, “Oh, yes, and I feel like I’m off to a smashing start.” Levi gently touched Zev’s hair, “It’s just a little…tuff…” He said amused and Erwin’s eyes sparkled, “Ha a poof really.” “Yes, a poof.” “We named him after you.” Levi’s hand stilled, “What?” “Zev comes from Velvel. Since Armin calls you Velvel we went with that so that the angel of death never got confused.” He chuckled and Levi nuzzled his head against Erwin’s, “Are you serious? Why would you curse him like that?” “You’re not cursed, you saved his life. You saved us from that pain. I’d rather him be here where we can fight then him never have even had the chance.”

Zev sneezed again, a cute little _choo_ that made Levi and Erwin both exclaim, “Oh!” at the same time. Levi tched, “Cover him back up,” he wrapped the blanket back over him, “you idiot, he’s sick.”

******************

Zadkiel finally made Armin leave the room to go to sleep and he cleaned up, listened to the little one wheeze and sputter. He leaned over the crib and softy stroked the little form. He grunted, sputtered, started to cry, “No, no, no, don’t you dare wake your vati. Come to Dedka.” He lifted him up and was overcome with emotion. He closed his eyes and held his breath. “He so handsome. Armin says he’s like you and me in one person.” Erwin looked horrible. He had dark bags under his eyes and his hair was unkempt. His beard was wild and scruffy, “He looks like you did.” Zad sat down in the rocker and patter his back as he runted around, “Gotta feed him soon.”

Erwin sat down across from him, “I just want to make him feel better.” “Why do you get like this? Why do they medicate you?” “Because there was a boy under my command who got really sick and he died. It was horrible. It took forever, slow, agony really was what it was. I cared for him and wanted him to overcome but he died…I haven’t gotten over it and I won’t. I’ve left a lot of other things in the past but I’ll never leave him. Now, after Armin had flu and a few other colds and such this is just unbelievable. I’m so fucking weak.”

Zad rocked back and forth while Erwin stared at nowhere in particular, “When I held you I fell in love with you and it was the most fucked up thing.” Erwin gave a weak snort and smirk, “I can’t even explain how in love I am with Zev. You know he’s not really just named after Levi. The Z sold me because of you.” Zadkiel tried to push down the choking feeling of sadness and fondness that jumped up his throat, “You were made of gold. I swear, it looked like you radiated sunlight. I think it’s appropriate he’s the way he is. He’s made of snow, of diamond really. Look how he shimmers, it’s crazy.” Erwin’s brow crossed, “No. Armin’s also so guilt ridden it kills me so I could never see his albinism as a good thing.” 

Zadkiel thought that peculiar, “Why is he guilty?” Erwin shrugged, clearly upset, “He thinks that it’s his genes that did it. He thinks he’s made his son weak. He hates himself, Zad. He can just hate himself so good that I can’t get him to stop.” “Tell him it’s your fault.” “What?” “We have albinos in the family. Some of the kings were albinos. It’s common in our family so he shouldn’t blame himself.” Erwin wiped his face, “Now I’m guilty.” “You had these amazing eye lashes and you’d make this face when you were hungry and sleepy and it was just like your mother when she was those things. Sometimes, you’ll make a face when you’re thinking and I’ll see it. I wonder if he’ll make those faces?” Erwin tapped his foot on the floor, “Will you be his grandfather?” “Sure.” Erwin was happily surprised.

“Why? I thought you would have said no.” Zad looked up, face serious, “I can’t keep pretending I don’t care and that I’m not hopelessly in love with you and your family. I’ll be whatever I can be, whatever you’ll let me be.” Erwin felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, “I love you. I need help. I don’t know how to be a dad and I don’t know how to make Armin feel better.” Zadkiel laughed, “Why ask me?! I’m not married and I was an absentee father to you!” Erwin laughed too before continuing, “He makes faces like you the more and longer I look at him.” 

He kissed him and smelled him, “But he doesn’t smell exactly like you. You smelled like sweet baklava and he smells like…tea from Adana.” Erwin smile miserably, “I hope he’s strong when he grows up.” Zadkiel chuckled, “I can tell you, this one here,” he watched as Zev coughed and took his finger in his little fist, “is going to be a wild one.” Erwin groaned, “No, I don’t know if Armin will be able to handle that. He’s going to have him under lock and key.” Zad chuckled more, “If he’s got me in him, he’ll break out regardless of those keys. Now, go the fuck to sleep.”

*****************

“I can’t do this…” Erwin wheezed as they left the hospital, “I’m not strong enough for this.” Armin felt dead inside. Zev had an infection; he had to go to the ICU. Levi had taken over the hospitals since Dr. Jaeger died. He was working part time for them and arranging things with the director. He didn’t know what he was really going to do with the second hospital in their hometown but he had a good director at both places regardless. Levi agreed to keep an eye on Zev and Hanji came too. Armin and Erwin felt bad. They were having their baby in two days and Erwin told Levi he didn’t have to do this. Levi had looked them in the eye, “He’s my namesake. He’s my responsibility. He’s a part of you two and you are two of the great loves of my life.” He had pushed through the pale orange wooden doors and left not room for discussion.

Mikasa and David had been coming over and cooking. Bellamy had taken an instant liking to Zev and was very interested in him. When Erwin and Armin got home he was looking around them like, “where is he?” Maxim and Ilya had taken over the shop till things got better and they also were lighting candles and praying constantly, something Eren and Marco were also doing for them. Jean offered to do whatever they needed and he had made the calls to everyone to keep them in the loop. Ms. Kirschstein and Mr. Bodt were there to help and Armin had enjoyed the doting of a mother figure since his were all gone. Erwin wasn’t sleeping but a few hours a night and Armin wasn’t sleeping at all. David was worried.

Keita was awake a nursing while Mikasa prepped for breakfast the next morning and made them a quick dinner. Armin didn’t eat it and Erwin barely at his. Still, she knew it was best to keep putting food in front of them than let them go too long without any. Armin burst into tears. They were all used to it by now. They all felt so bad for him and Erwin. Ms. Kirschstein made them hot chocolate and crème.

David took Keita from Mikasa when he was finished and went into the living room to sit with him till he fell back asleep. Bellamy was coloring nicely by the couch, his little [pajamas](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e1/8b/88/e18b88179456b214ad525bbdaaf5599c.jpg)were adorable, Maxim had dressed him and given him his bath while Marco helped pull Armin off the floor when the ambulance had left with Zev. Ilya had Maxim now in his arms as they sat on the couch, he drug his lips softy back and forth against his neck and Maxim cried for Armin.

When Erwin took Armin upstairs it was with shaky steps. They were only at the house because Levi threatened to have them removed if they stayed. They walked into their room and they saw Eren cleaning it up. He’d changed their sheets, rearranged things, cleaned the tissues up and had turned the fire place on making it warm and cozy in the room. Eren wiped his own tears away before turning to them, “You two need to take a shower, Erwin’s medicine is here, your medicine is here, I know you’re not eating Armin so I made you a juice shake you can drink and get your vitamins, there’s blue poweraid in the fridge, I called the hospital to see who the nurses would be and yeah…”

Eren moved to hug Armin and Armin went limp, “We’re ruining your experience. We’ve taken all the focus off of you and Levi and your baby, my God, Eren. I’m so sorry.” Eren sobbed bitterly, “As if I’m that fucking selfish, hush. I just want him to not be sick, Arm. I love him and I love y’all. I just want this to be over.” Armin cried and held on to Eren, “I wish this was a dream. I can’t take it, Eren. I can’t do this without Carla and…” Eren and Armin were on their knees. Carla and Grisha….


	134. Nehemiah (Nikko) Lev

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nehemiah = Protected by God  
> Lev = Heart

Levi pulled up to the house and sighed before turning it off. He unbuckled himself and turned to look at the little carrier with baby Zev in it, “You’re home,” he spoke in Yiddish, something he didn’t always do but he was feeling emotional, “you’re home where everyone loves you. I know you like to make a big deal about everything,” Zev sneezed and he smiled a bit to himself at the timing, “but now that I risked my medical license and my conscious I’ll hope that you’ll keep it down till you’re one and the nightmare can begin again with your eye sight.” He heard the tiny noises only babies could make and remembered Mila when she was that small. He looked forward, “Smile at your parents and like I said, keep it down. We’re about to give you a little….I don’t know what you’d call it, a brother or sister of sorts so you’ll need to stay healthy to celebrate with us.” Zev sneezed again and Levi sighed.

“You don’t know what you do to me, Zev. You don’t know how cursed you are to be named after me. But, if only you knew how amazing your parents were and how amazing you’re going to be because of it You’re the son of a beautiful book worm who’s sassy and cunning. He loves the ocean, loves to laugh, loves for his friends and family to be happy. He likes to cook, and wow wait till you have teeth and can try it, and he likes really nice art deco pieces because they’re as petite and pretty as he is. You’re also the son of a handsome historian who’s discerning and diabolical. He’s a commander through and through who likes to run everything and control everything. He loves his family, his books, his sassy book worm husband, WWII movies, and he’s a gentleman who is going to teach you how to treat a lady, or man we don’t discriminate in this house, probably will hand you over a book on spoiling because he loves to spoil the people he loves to death. Yeah, you’re going to be a magnificent person that I will love to watch grow up.” Levi looked back at the carrier and then wiped his eyes while Zev made more tender noises.

He got out of the car, his heart was heavy and he was still panicking. Hanji had told him it was worth it. He’d nearly died again and they wouldn’t be telling Erwin and Armin that least they go off the deep end. He was supposed to have a baby today and after two days in the ICU Hanji pulled up after him and got out slowly. They looked like shit. They hadn’t slept at all and they’d done so much to save this child’s life. Levi carried Zev in his arms, smelling him and leaving sweet kisses on his head. He loved him, he was Erwin and Armin together and there was something intoxicating about him and his lovely features. He was going to be handsome heart breaker, maybe not like as handsome as Keita, hell no one was going to be as good looking as that child but he’d be close. All of these little babies and Levi wanted to just hold them all in his hands. He wanted to hold his child in his hands and see what pieces of Eren he could find in him.

Hanji opened the door and they entered the house. They left him once they were inside upstairs and headed to the womb to check the progress and to take a nap while Levi went to the nursery. Zev grunted and Levi knew he was waking up. He brought him to his room, changed him deftly, and then changed him into another better [outfit](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/61/27/53/612753f28f67fca009e1384d511f9158.jpg). He wasn’t sick with pneumonia anymore, just an occasional baby sneeze being out in the real world with all the little annoyances in the air, Levi kissed his nose enjoying having this little baby that belonged to two people he loved to dote on, and he didn’t want to have to explain how he had done it just yet. He carried Zev back downstairs and started some formula when Armin came rushing down the stairs, “IS HE OKAY?! IS MY BABY OKAY?!” Armin saw Levi holding him, preparing his bottle like he was so at home, “He’s good, mami. Here, you can feed him.” Armin smiled and nodded as Levi finished warming the bottle.

Armin took him greedily, crying more, he couldn’t stop crying and Levi felt so panicked every time he saw him like this, “Mami, you gotta stop crying it’s going to kill me.” Armin kissed his son, speaking to him softly, lovingly, “I love you, I love you so much. My little Zev, you’ve nearly killed me every hour since you’ve been here HaShem have mercy. You’ll kill me, my heart is hurting and your daddy’s cholesterol is up, I don’t say that to guilt you but it’s true so cut this all out.” He looked at Levi who was smirking fondly, “What did you do to make it…I don’t care. Never mind. I’m forever in your debt. I owe you so much Levi.” Levi kissed his forehead, “Please….just try to be happy.”

“I am happy….I’m just so consumed with worry about him you can’t tell. I’m happy you’re going to have a baby, have this like I do…but I am so scared something will happen to your baby and you’ll feel this horrible feeling. I don’t ever want you to feel what Erwin and I are feeling.” Levi started to get choked up and kissed him fully, “I need to find Eren. Eat something, feed him, and then get some sleep.” Armin snorted “And miss your son’s birth? Never!” He kissed Levi again, “Thank you, Levi.”

*************

Hanji was a mess and when Levi entered the panic room he knew they were at their end, “Hanji, go take a shower.” Hanji looked at him, dark circles under their eyes, “Levi,” Levi shook his head, “Listen, do it or I’ll make you. You need to do it and try and pull it together. Because…” Hanji stood up and removed their coat and sweater, grabbing their back pack, “Fine…I get it. You don’t have to go on threatening or whatever...” Levi grabbed their hand before they could leave, “Because, fuck, Hanji I need you. I _need_ you. Do you understand what I’m saying? _I need you._ ” The room shifted, it was tense and heavy. Hanji pulled past, laughing shortly, nervously, “L-l-et m-me go. It’ll only be five minutes tops. I’ll shower in the office.” Hanji left and he stood in the room awkwardly for a few minutes thinking about what he’d said.

Levi sat down at the makeshift lab table and started researching more and more about albinism and Armin’s autoimmune disease. He was very frustrated as time went on and then suddenly a thought entered his mind. He felt winded suddenly, nauseous, because he remembered that if Grisha were alive he could tell them all about it. “Fuck you Grisha…” Eren inhaled sharply, “What?” Levi flushed, “No, just…he could tell me about Armin’s medical history.” Eren nodded, cup of coffee in his hand and the other one now on the table in front of him, “Yeah…um…so….how did you manage to get Zev home?” 

Levi cringed, “I did something medically,” Eren’s mind was working over time and he figured it out, “You…gave him my blood….a transfusion….like they did the Ebola victims in 2014 and 2015. It flooded his system, let it heal what it could, was replaced, therefore it minimized the chances of building up an immunity? No, it still would provide that but,” “But it was minimal and better than just injecting him with the serum. The thing is, it got me thinking about blood transfusions and our kids. They’ll more than likely inherit from you, and Marco’s kids from him, the perks of your mutations. We need to bank their blood in bulk because they won’t be able to get from others.” “But others can get from us?” “Actually…no. I think only those with the Y mutation and since Armin and Erwin are both ethnically Jewish and the mutation is carried on both of them I took the risk.” Levi paused, “You figured that out and I just want to tell you that I am constantly floored by how intelligent you are and how easily you can read me and follow me. I love you so fucking much. I love you more than…” Eren grinned, “What?” “Shitting.” “Awwww Neshama. I’m touched.”

Eren nodded, “What you’ve done…is smart….but I have a question.” Levi looked at him, “Yes, my handsome ahuvi?” Eren bit his lip, “Could we ever…make a version of the serum that’s like the shortened one that only attacks certain areas of the body or…rather…organs?” Levi leaned back running his hand down his face, he sighed like a balloon letting air out, “Well, what you ask is just nearly impossible to answer with a yes or no. So, thanks for always being difficult.” Eren snorted, “I’m a brat.” He said smugly and Levi smiled, “Yeah, hopefully our child won’t be.” “You know why I asked.” “Yeah, I love you, Eren.” “I love you, Levi.” They kissed and [Hanji](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a3/ee/a0/a3eea06715cc2d8db7ce69a76486a771.jpg) came back in dressed comfortably with their hair wet and not pulled back, no glasses on, “I needed a change. I need a change…” Eren smiled, ‘I like this style.” “Thanks.” Hanji sat down, “By the way, I’m switching to female pronouns. I already had issues the other day signing Mila up for some things and I just don’t really care anymore. I feel like anyone could throw a pronoun at me and I’d take it. I’m who I am and I don’t fucking care what the fuck anyone things. Also, Mike and I are talking about maybe having another kid, just to toss that on to the pile. We’re also looking into a new phone plan and it’s seriously difficult.”

Hanji sat down and looked at the machines checking on the labor progression of the baby. Eren and Levi exchanged unsure glances, “Okay.” Hanji smiled, “You two are so fucking uncomfortable it’s so obvious. It’s fine. People like me…we sometimes change or don’t care. It’s kind of beautiful. It’s also a very personal choice. I might go back to they/them later in life. I don’t know and I can only speak for how I feel right now in my life.” Eren laughed, “Okay,……” a long, long pause, “Mrs Zoe-Zacharias.....” Levi laughed awkwardly and slapped Eren’s arm, “That’s…..not right.” Hanji laughed, “It’ fine, Levi. It really is.” Levi frowned, “Just get me my baby.” 

It was almost time and Hanji checked her watch, “Hanji, I was thinking.” Eren started and she rolled her eyes, “Oh no, it’ll be something like,” she started to impersonate his voice, “can we make a serum that targets specific body parts or organs. Eren, shush, shuuuushhhh. You’re going to be a dad and you need to focus on being normal for a little while. So like, start being worried about diapers, get mad for no reason, and start questioning your marriage to Levi, normal shit.” Levi laughed, “I was just saying the same thing.” Erwin came inside abruptly cutting them off and hugged Levi, sobbing, “Thank you, thank you, Lee.” Levi embraced him, “Come on,” he tried to fight his own tears, “old man.” He patted his back, “It’s gunna be okay. Just….y’all need to be happy. I want y’all to be happy and I’m kind of in love with Zev so him being happy and healthy are also top on my list.” He wiped his eyes and they spoke for a bit until Armin appeared with Zev in his arms, “I have a question…”

Erwin groaned, “Oh no…” Armin gave him a fierce look, “Don’t test me.” Erwin conceded, “What is your question, my prince?” “So, what are our names? I’m assuming Erwin is Daddy. I think I want to be Vati.” Levi sighed, “Well, we should have separate names like we’d mentioned before. I think Aba will be fine.” Eren pouted, “I feel odd taking Baba but I want it.” Armin smiled, “Baba suits you so much. Aba and Baba, Daddy and Vati. Okay, and like…are we just letting the kids see us all as their parents?” Levi started to laugh, “Wow um we should have had this conversation like weeks ago so what the fuck.” 

Armin grinned and made a sputtering sound with his lips, “Pssshhh why do things that make sense?” Erwin spoke, looking at Zev fondly, “I think they should all see us as who we are, like a parent, but know who they belong too specifically too.” Armin smiled looking down at Zev, “I’m your Vati, my precious baby boy. That’s your daddy and then you’ve got a Baba and an Aba. Aren’t you lucky. So, lucky. I hope you’re just like Daddy.” Armin looked at Erwin and they shared an intimate moment, “Baby, I love you.” Armin smiled, “I love you and Zev loves you, too.” Erwin snorted, “I’m pretty sure Zev loves Levi the most. He saved his life and I’ve seen him try and charm him when he thinks we’re not around.” Levi chuckled, “I’ve got to beat Eren to the punch.”

Hanji stood up nearly knocking her chair over, “It’s starting! Crowning!” Levi stood up suddenly and Armin and Erwin stepped out of the room for privacy. Erwin took Zev from Armin and kissed him, “Let’s give you a little playmate, okay?” Armin giggled, “Or a sibling, you know, whichever.” They sat in the office and waited to hear if baby Ackermann had arrived, staring at their child, exchanging sweet kisses, and feeling like the world was full of possibility.

******************

“WOW ITS THERE! ITS REALLY THERE! THAT’S A HEAD AND ITS IT’S HEAD AND OMG LEVI THAT’S OUR BABY! OUR BABY IS THAT RIGHT THERE IT’S OURS WOW!” Levi was waiting to help guide his child down and out of the womb into his hands. Hanji monitored everything and was holding her breath the entire time. She started to get teary eyed and Levi hissed, “Yo, shit head, stop crying or I’ll cry.” Hanji tried to smile through the tears, “I’m sorry, you’ll just have to cry with me or kill me but I can’t believe I’m going to see your baby in just a few minutes.” Eren jumped, “SECONDS! SECONDS! OMG I’M DYING, I’M SCHWITZING!” 

The baby’s head came out and then shoulders, torso, hips, and then legs. All Levi could do was fall on his bottom, hold his child in his hands, weep, count his fingers and toes quickly while checking for signs of issues or abnormalities, and then he passed out, Eren’s voice echoing in his ears. His child was here, and it was beautiful.

********************

Levi felt like he was waking up from a very long nap. He opened his eyes, the window was open, the breeze was cool, so very cool and the red, cobalt blue, black, and white Persian rug beneath him was coarse and he realized he was beneath a table, white linen table cloth floating in the breeze. He crawled out from it and looked around at the heavy wood furniture. His throat constricted. He knew where he was a his legs moved on their own.

When he pushed the heavy wood door open it creaked. There was no sound but that metal screech that offered him the sight of another large window, blinding white light behind its glass panes, and a small trundle bed under it. She sat on the edge of the bed, bowl of broth in one of her hands, spoon at the side and her other hand, long white fingers with beautifully filed tips, carded through a mess of near black hair. She looked up, smiled, “Levi.”

***************

Eren kissed his child all over while Hanji took care of Levi. They moved him into the nursery by their room, laid him on the bed and Eren sat in the chair with his child. Mikasa, David, Zad, Erwin, Armin, Jean, Marco, they’d all come inside to look and they all laughed about Levi’s reaction. Erwin collected money from Jean and Maxim and Ilya came rushing in and paid out as well. Erwin had bet that he _would_ feint. 

When Levi eventually woke up, tears in the corners of his eyes, he took a deep breath and listened to Eren humming as he rocked in the chair.

Hineh ma tov

uma na'im

Shevet achim

gam yachad.

Eren stood up, “Levi, come sit. Come take my place.” Levi moved to sit in the chair, cautiously looking at the bundle in Eren’s hands, Eren knew he’d have to take control and help him, “Levi, do you wanna know what it is?” Levi shook his head yes, he looked so young to Eren, so terrified. “It’s a boy. You have a son, an Ackermann to carry on the name.” Levi’s eyes overflowed with enough tears to fill the ocean as Eren handed him his son, “So schön. (So beautiful)” He whispered in awe as he looked at their child.

Eren sat on the arm of the chair, “He’s healthy, a little underweight and might get a cold or two from what Hanji said but he’s got all of his parts and wow, Levi, he looks just like you. He’s your mini-me. Not a bit of me in him, I swear. This is what women must feel like. They make a child and it ends up looking like the dad. I say this because it was my _egg_ and I feel like a mom.” Levi kissed him, smelled him, unwrapped him to look at him, “Wow…yeah, this is just so strange.” Eren kissed him and he hummed into him so blissfully happy.

“We have to name him.” Eren said quietly, “So let’s listen to his soul.”

They waited for a while maybe an hour or two in order to bond more with him. Eren showed Levi how similar they were and Levi tried to find pieces of Eren in him to prove him wrong. Eren finally stopped and they began throwing names out, “Michael?” “No, Gabriel?” “No, what about Victor?” “I like it but…David is a no since we have a David but Eitan?” “He doesn’t seem like an E person. Yuhuval?” “Ori?” “Lior?” “I feel like a horrible parent, Eren.” “I have a name.” Levi looked at him, “Okay?” “Nikko. It’s my favorite and I’ve always wanted to name a child Nikko. I’ve been trying to lead up to it.” “Nikko, I like it” Eren’s heart soared and Levi felt bad, “but it’s not Jewish.” Eren smiled triumphantly, “Ohhhh don’t worry. It will just be his nickname. I’m trying to sell you on it first.” Levi snorted, “I’m pretty sold. He looks like a Nikko. And the name?” “Nehemiah.” Levi was silent, “I have always like that name. How did you know that? I have always loved that name and never told a soul!” he looked at him incredulously and Eren laughed, “You sound like I infringed on your mind!” “You did!” Levi looked down at his son, “Nehemiah Ackermann. We need a middle name still.” 

Eren looked at him and shrugged, “I think you should pick. I got my two names. We’ll call him Nikko and I’m super excited about that. I like that Nehemiah means protected by God.” Levi smiled, he looked at his child, kissed him, and asked him softly, “What’s your middle name?” Eren kissed Levi’s temple while he listened and Levi hummed, “Nehemiah,” he looked around the room, “Nehemian Lev. That’s it.” He looked at Eren, “Lev, it means heart.” Eren smiled, “Nehemiah (Nikko) Lev Ackermann. Wow, what a name.” Eren chuckled and Levi frowned waiting for Eren to begin, “He’ll hate us. But it’s actually a really bad ass name. Nikko Ackermann.” Levi smirked, very pleased, “I love him more than you.” Eren burst into laughter, “Same. Wow.” Levi nodded, “But, I love you so much for giving him to me.” Eren kissed him, “The Ackermanns are going to live long and prosper. We will outnumber the stars.”


	135. Let's make a deal

_Poof!_

_Fwumpfh!_

_Bvrooooom!_

”Uhhh What do we say, Bell? What do we _say!?_ ” Bellamy looked at Eren from his place at the kitchen, tiny hands on the counter top, eyes wide and contemplative, “Uh Oh!” His little voice was so cute and small and it almost made up for the fact that Eren was going to get a lecture from Levi. “ _UH OOOHHHH_!” Levi appeared with Jean, “Did Bellamy?” Jean looked surprised and Bellamy turned around, “Papa, uh oh.” Jean smiled from ear to ear, “Yeah, uh oh!” He started to cackle while Levi gave Eren a death stare.

“What are you doing, Eren?” Eren cringed, “I’m baking a cake. But, the flower container got away from me and yeah.” Levi was holding Nikko, neither of them let him alone much and he handed him to Eren, “I’ll clean this up and call you when it’s sifted and ready for you to mix. Why you want to bake a cake right now is beyond me.” Eren took Nikko gladly, shit eating grin on his face, “I’m definitely winning and not shamed at all by you because I have this beautiful thing right here.” He leaned down and kissed him and Levi stared, intoxicated, in love. Nothing was better to him than seeing Eren with their child. It was a dream-come-true. Ms. Kirschtein was in the living room when he walked in, Armin on his knees on the floor where the pad was they laid their babies on from time to time.

Donner was right next to him, watching Zev like a hawk. He was very protective of all of the little children but the babies especially. He’d sometimes sleep in front of Nikko’s crib and had even growled at Levi one night he came into the room too quickly. Levi had been hurt. “But, how do you keep diaper rash from happening?” Armin asked and Delaine prattled off a list of old wives tells and which worked and what the pros and cons were. Gio came inside from the back yard with Zad laughing and Eren joined them laying [Nikko](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/03/70/10/03701083ce6bde7ac347cda7ec091031.jpg) on the mat with [Zev](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/b7/6a/89/b76a89d5c27f2a2a83a7f5f9e39f803f.jpg). They were adorable.

Zadkiel and Gio sat down on the couch, “I hear the little ones like to be together.” Gio started smiling and Zad nodded, “One cries and then they lay the other next to them and after a few seconds they quiet down. Doesn’t always work but they’re content to be with one another.” Delaine smiled, “I could eat them up.” Armin put on Zev’s little [mittens](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e7/65/16/e765169a88eb9ea869caef9b31fb49e7.jpg) so that he didn’t scratch his face, “I can’t cut his nails. It freaks me out so I make Erwin.” Eren nodded, “Omg Levi makes me because he gets nervous too!” “Look at them.” “OH GOD INSTAGRAM!” They both pulled their phones out and started to take pictures when Levi called Eren back into the kitchen.

Delaine sat down and Jean and Bellamy appeared, “Son, I have news.” Jean braced himself, “Okay, momma.” Marco had just come home, “Jean?!” “Babe, come in here.” Marco appeared smiling, “Bellamy! Hey!” “Daddy!” Marco kissed and pinched Bellamy taking him from Jean, “Momma’s gunna tell us something.” “Oh goodness. Let’s hope it’s something like, “I’m going to stay forever and help you adult” because Jean like what are we doing?” Marco and Jean laughed and face Delaine and Gio, “Well, we’re going to sell our house now.”

Jean and Marco exchange pleasantly surprised looks, “Well, I guess that makes sense.” Marco said while Bellamy inspected his scarf, “Where are you moving to?” Delaine and Gio smiled and Gio slapped a hand on her knee, “Why not Maria?” Marco jumped in excitement, “OHHHH YES! PLEASE! BE CLOSE TO US AND LOVE US!” Jean smiled, “Momma, I would love that!” She looked shocked, “Did you say something nice to your momma?” “I ALWAYS SAY NICE THINGS TO YOU!” She stood up, “I love you, but you don’t.” Gio smiled, “We’ll be here whenever you need us and whenever you go to church you’ll see us.” Jean blanched, “Umm…I don’t really…go aallll the time.” Gio stated, “But,” he began, slapping a hand on his shoulder after standing up and walking over to him, “you will now. You have a little child and he needs to be churched. We’ll have another fine catholic boy to show off to the world.”

Eren felt a strange sense of panic overhearing in the kitchen, “A-a-c-ctually….” Levi also had a strange look, “He could come to the temple with us on Shabbat.” He said it and covered his mouth. Eren appeared and they were all staring at him, “Well, he’ll obviously know about Jewish traditions and stuff but he’s going to be raised catholic with us.” Marco was staring and Jean was uncomfortable. Levi looked at Eren, “I have to.” Eren nodded, “Yeah, well, he’s Jewish so we figured we could take him to temple too.”

The room was still and Armin stood up, “How do you know for sure he’s Jewish?” Eren eyes were wet but he was holding it together well, “Um, well, I don’t really want to get into it all because it’ll make me really upset but he has this tattoo in his hair above his ear.” He walked over and showed them, “He’s a child with iron teeth who was stolen.” Marco and Jean didn’t move as they looked at the tattoo and Levi gasped, “He may be related to Ilya and Maxim distantly. They’ve been here for a year and give or take a few months but I wonder if they’d know of any way to find out who he belonged to and maybe they could tell us more about the tattoos.” Eren shook his head, “Yeah, I never thought of that and I’d really like to know more.” 

Armin thought about it, “How did you find out about that tattoos?” Eren felt nauseous, “Mom and dad had them. They were taken and marked.” Delaine and Gio were shocked. They tried not to talk about the Jaegers in front of Eren since he was still upset. There was an awkward moment and then the front door slammed and in walked Erwin with three large arrangements of flowers, “Where are the loves of my life?” He beamed and his bursting-with-big-daddy-love voice echoed in the room causing Zev and Nikko to wake up from the mat and move excitedly, something Donner watched with interest lifting his head off the floor to tilt it to the side and watch them.

Delaine and Gio smiled, “Us? You’re too kind, Erwin.” Erwin couldn’t see over his flowers, “Aw Delaine, your flowers are on their way, don’t worry. But, these are for my Lee, my baby, and my honey.” Armin smiled and Levi crossed his arms, uncomfortable, while Eren grinned and ran over to get an arrangement, “Why?” Erwin chuckled, “Because I love you.”

Levi scoffed, “Guess I love you too.” Armin ran over and kissed him, “I definitely know I love you.”

*******************

_I guess it all started when I first saw you. Now, I’m not trying to make you feel guilty. I’m just being honest with you. It started when you looked at me, well, when I saw you looking and then I realized it was at me. Sometimes, when you ran through the trees on the path behind the house I’d watch you. Between the branches I’d catch glimpses of you, your legs long and lean, your eyes made of gold._

_Then sometimes you were in the street, coming home from basketball. Baseball season was my favorite because you wore those white pants and those dirty cleats drove your mother insane. I didn’t mind them so I offered to do your laundry. I like touching them, I wanted to touch you. But, you started to show more and more that your focus was on one of two people. He came over one day and I started to see the allure. He’d wink at you and you’d throw your arms around him while he made dinner. Your mother was always working to support us. I’d been out of work for almost a year and it hurt but it meant I got to be with you more._

_He sometimes had cuts and bruises on him and that concerned me. I didn’t want you to mess up your skin, so soft and smooth. You thought you were so sly, how you’d wait till late at night and take his clothes off in the living room. You’d take pictures of him, paint him, I found it all. I kept the ones where you were nude, too. I kept them close to my heart._

_You’ll never know how many times I walked into your room to watch you, watch you turn and yawn. Sometimes he’d be there, close to you, your arms protecting him. I knew that you loved him. I knew you always had. I started to covet him as well, but then I grew to hate him because he was everything I had never been._

_I saw the world in his eyes when he spoke to you in hushed tones and soft voices. You would preen under his praise of your work. Your mother made him a special place in our family. She said he needed love but I wanted to be loved too! I needed it! I needed you!_

_And now we’re here and though it’s not like I wanted it to be, it’s better than what it was going to be. Here, we can be together. We can find what we need. You want to be admired, praised, taken care of and fostered. I want feel like all the love I have is being received. I just have so much love….I have so much love to give and I feel like I’m always giving but no one ever wants it! Just let me give you my love!_

******************

Armin lowered the paper and felt a pit in his stomach. [Zev](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/aa/af/19/aaaf19c4e435a9b38de3ffe5ec7a16af.jpg) was currently eating while Erwin held him and his little suckling noises filled his heart with warmth. They were coming up on the first month and he was more in love with his son every day. Erwin had insisted on dressing him, feeding him, and just staying in bed with him all day. He’d been working on so much and now he just wanted to coast and enjoy his child. 

Armin turned around, the world outside was grey, wet, cold, and harsh. It was the anniversary, “This letter is serious.” Erwin looked at him, “Really? Do you know what this one is about?” Jeeter’s letters and boxes had kept coming since the first one. Even beyond the grave he was still finding ways to get his voice heard. “Yeah, I gotta go take care of it.” Erwin stared, “What is it about?” Armin went to his closet to look for clothes, “Two can keep a secret if one is dead, right?” Erwin put Zev in the co-sleeper. Armin had been withdrawn physically lately, he was only concerned with Zev and he was paranoid that he’d stop breathing and thus he slept between them.

He went into the closet, “Armin?” Armin got dressed and told Erwin what he thought was going on. Erwin begged him not to go. Armin said he had to do it and Erwin let him loose with a kiss and wish for safety. Armin went looking for Jean and found him with Eren in his bedroom. Eren had [Nikko](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/98/70/ca/9870caae95aceb990c540c403c62c3b6.jpg) on the bed dressed in an adorable outfit, “Jean, hey, we need to go. We have that meeting in the city about that collaboration for my shop.” Jean knew he was lying but he trusted Armin that Eren needed to be left out of whatever was really going on, “Dress for the rain.” Jean’s eyes widened and he left to do so.

Eren hugged Armin and kissed him. Armin leaned into him, wrapping his arms around his back, chin on his shoulder looking at Nikko, “Nikko is so cute I’m dying.” Eren chuckled, “Me too. Levi was nearly moved to tears. He said he looked cute and nearly devoured him. Did y’all….like did you lick Zev?” Armin chuckled, “We sure did.” Eren smiled, “Good, Levi and I were shamed that we had done such but we can’t stop kissing him and touching him.”

Armin moved back, “I love you.” He kissed Eren again a little more passionately. “Erwin’s going to be here.” “I can handle my child, Armin.” “I know but for one it’ll just be you and him and two babies. Everyone else is going to be at work or doing something.” Eren grimaced, “Damn…okay that’s pressure.” Armin smiled, “You’ll do great!” He heard Jean and went out in the hall to head down to the car.

They got in Armin’s car and drove outside of Maria to a neighboring town. They rented a car under another name and they headed to their hometown. Armin stared out the window while Jean drove, the jeep was black, hard top, and the windshield wipers could have been better but that was fine. They drove across the flat expanse of fields and forests. Rain slid down the windows at angels that Armin traced with his eyes, guessing where one would go and how they would be wiped away in a few short seconds. Jean’s jaw was tight, “But, if they found out we’d be okay.” Armin shook his head, “No, we’d not. Your momma would have been…” “I remember why now. I’m sorry. It’s been a while.” Armin took his hand and gave it a squeeze, “Its fine, Jean.”

They were getting closer and the trees were turning into skeletons, not yet fully flush with their green leaves. It was a good thing. It would make things easier, “When you think about it, how do you think they’d expose it?” Armin grimaced, “I think _they_ is just _Jeeter._ ” Jean laughed shakily, “Wow, for once, that comforts me.” Armin smirked, “Yeah, wow that’s fucked up.” They were silent again and Jean started to pick at his skin and scratch, “Are You still doing that?” Armin said quietly, “Only when I can’t control it. I keep it under control with breathing and counting but right now I can’t.” Armin took his hand and kissed it, “If you cut yourself it’ll possibly ruin things for us so don’t.”

******************

_I saw what you did and it made me realized I had a chance, a chance to finally move forward and leave these long nights alone for good. I saw how he clutched your arm, how afraid you were because he was still moving. You kids, you think you’re gods. You’re always playing without thinking about the consequences. Life is a game, there are rules. But, thankfully, I saw when you broke them._

*************

They pulled up the house and Armin stood in the street looking from the Jaeger’s house to Jean’s, “I miss them.” Jean nodded, “I know. It hurts, every single day.” They walked inside and looked around. Mostly it was all covered in cloth and ready for a long winter. Jean loved his mother being so close in Maria since Carla’s death. He understood more than ever what a horrible thing it will be to lose his mother one day. Armin and he looked through the cupboards, through everything and then in Jean’s room, on his bed, another letter.

****************

_When you started to kiss the boy across the street under the street lamps I believed in the kindness you possessed in your heart. He had just done a thing that to many would have been ugly, despicable, but you saw inside of his heart and understood that actions do not always make the man. Actions can’t always tell you the sum of a person or their heart. How funny it is that I’m saying this as I intend what I intend._

Maybe the actions of this man will depict the inner workings of his heart?

*********************

_Ringing, endless ringing…_

”Hello?”

“Something is going to happen.” 

“What’s going to happen?” 

“They’re….” _rustling of paper, glass breaking,_ “coming.”

“Annie, I’m going to need you to pull it together and tell me what you mean?”

 _The sound of heavy breathing_ , “They’re already here.”

The crisp sound of metal from a pen scratching parchment, “How many?”

“They number more than you think. This is different now. It’s never got this far except…I have to go. Please, just, they’re here. They can feel them, they knew them before they even were, they will know them and they will be attracted to them like honey and flies.

 _More scratching_ , “Do you think about flies a lot?” 

“How loud it must have been outside the walls of Judea when the Romans waited. How loud the flies must have been as they buzzed around the corpses crucified on the tops of the walled city. A better question for you is, “Do you not think about flies?” They’ll want them. The blood cannot mix.”

 _More glass breaking_ , “Why!? Why, Annie!?”

“Because that’s….that’s…” _choking noises, barking, animalistic screeches, a voice that is not human_ , “THE DEVIL LIVES!”

 _More glass breaking_.

 _The line goes dead_.

*******************

_I don’t know how I know you so well. How I know you like this. I used to drink it all in and try to forget but this, no, this will always be what it is and that’s beautiful, don’t think?_

***************

Armin had come home to an empty house again. No food money, nothing. He went to turn the lights on and they didn’t work. _Great, no power._ He went into the kitchen and found a juice box and some suspect oatmeal. He ate it cold, drank the juice and went upstairs to take a cold shower.

He let out a hiss as the ice cold water hit his back and he refused to go to the Jaegers today. He’d already wore his welcome out and now Jean and Eren were together and that was fine but they wanted their time and he needed to just suck it up. His Opa thought his parents were there and taking care of things and he’d gone to Germany for a few months to finish his business and then he’d be back. He did need the power turned on soon, though.

He got out of the shower, went over to his book shelf drying himself with his towel. He saw his piggy bank and he cracked it open, “seventy four dollars and five cents. You might be enough.” He dressed and took the money in a bag with him to his bike and started off to the power company to try and pay his bill and beg for mercy. Jean was outside taking the trash out, “Where are you going?” Armin stopped abruptly, nearly falling over his handle bars, “O-oh you know…a ride.” Jean tisked and made him come inside, “I’ll tell Jaeger not to worry about dinner. I’ll catch him some other time.”

Armin sat at the counter, “I feel bad.” “Don’t for real. I didn’t think I’d be able to go over anyway.” Armin pulled at his clothes and Jean frowned, “You’re hungry.” “No!” he really was but he didn’t want to be a bother. “It’s okay. Mom’s out of town and apparently she left me a snack so let’s eat it and then we can wait for dinner to be decided on.” Armin frowned, “Are you sure?” Jean ran his hands through messy hair, “Man, Arm, yes, we just got back from school and didn’t even have to go a full day because they weather’s so bad. Haven’t you noticed?” They looked around, it was oppressive the low grays, blacks, and strange olive greens and cerulean tinged blues filtering inside of the house, “I want to paint you.” 

Armin smiled faintly but it faltered, “I don’t know why.” He mumbled and Jean stepped forward to run his fingers through his hair. He went to the fridge and pulled out the small pastries, “Come on, let’s eat fluff and get fucked on sugar.” Armin laughed, “Okay, Jean. Whatever you say.

The front door opened, “Oh…you found the snacks…”

****************

“Sometimes I think that it didn’t happen.” Jean pulled up to the edge of the forest, “Like, sometimes I don’t even think about it.” “When Jeeter was…” “No, never.” “Wow.” “I know. I repressed so much.” Armin looked at his hands, “I didn’t repress enough.”

****************

Armin’s head hurt so badly as he rolled over on his side. The throbbing was made worse by the fact he was in a basement, Russian red walls, ceiling painted royal blue, yellow Edison bulbs in the ceiling and then there was the tapping, the tapping was endless. He rolled over and saw a man in a wicker rocking chair, “You really are pretty.” Armin’s eyes narrowed in disbelief, in confusing, in repulsion. He tried to move to sit up but he flopped back down, heavy as a rock. He rolled on the floor like a drunk and he felt the panic rise in him as he realized how helpless and vulnerable he was. “You’re worth the trouble.”

He was in his fifties, dark brown hair, well built, but his face was scarred and he kept playing with a whip. Armin watched as stood, drank something in a green glass while taking a long leisurely walk about the room, leering at Armin. Armin started to feel tears collecting in the corners of his eyes. “So, it’s a good thing you came over because now it’ll look like you and Jean ran away. You know, I was upset that I wasn’t going to be able to get my hands on that Eren kid first but you’re worth it. You’d get a lot of money if we sold you.” He chuckled, clearly impressed with his threat and the idea behind it. Armin wanted to scream for help but that wouldn’t do anything but waste his voice and let him know that the torture was working.

“I like them young and blond.” He whipped Armin and Armin grit his teeth, yell behind rows of white teeth and pink pursed lips. He started to crawl on his stomach and he picked him up, “No, I’m not done.” He tossed him back down in the middle of the room, “I’ve been waiting to get a hold you. Now that I have you I can see why someone would have killed for you.” Armin went still and he noticed, “Oh yes, you think I don’t know what your little friend did? My Bradley didn’t run away. That’s bullshit. You should be so lucky that I have such large skeletons in my closet that I didn’t dare open an investigation and plus, I like to handle things old school, very eye for an eye. Tell me, little bird, has the police ever been on your side?” Armin didn’t answer and instead he tried to put his mind to good use.

”Didn’t think so. So you know what, if my Bradley pushed you around or did something rough, he deserved it. Okay, let’s just say he deserved what he got. Like father like son. Luckily, I’ve got plenty more boys to carry on the family name and they only need to believe he’s alive somewhere else to keep them placated. But, it’s not that he’s dead that you’re here. No, it’s because he was mine, I made him, he was mine to do with what I pleased.” Armin took a deep breath and he continued, “So, while your Jean get’s taken care of, I get you, my debts are erased, and all while knowing that without you two Eren will feel just as bad as I do over someone taking what isn’t theirs. Never take something that isn’t yours. It’s not right.” Armin moved a bit and he laughed whipping him constantly, the silence punctuated by staccato screeches of pain.

“You’re mine for another four hours, little bird. That drug won’t wear off any time soon.” Armin grit his teeth trying to calm himself down while he resigned himself to the horror before him for the next few hours before sure death.

*************

Bradley had gone too far and Eren decided it was time to seek out justice. He knew people like that never changed and the hold he had Armin was too strong, too unknown to let him continue to exist. Armin had almost died, in his arms, in his basement. Something cold had made its way into his heart and behind his baby blue eyes. Eren watched Bradley leave the movie theater with his arm around another guy, similar to Armin. The thing was, Bradley was this way only because he hated himself. 

But that didn't matter to Eren. 

* * * * * * * * *  
Jean heard the sound of a car pull up, only the gravel of the road was heard beneath the black tar tires. He looked out his open window; the street lamp flickered and went out. It was happening more and more frequently and he was happy because that light really was too bright when he left the window open. He saw a truck he did not know but a mess of brown hair he did and he shimmied out onto the porch roof and down the column to run silently over. When he reached Eren, he gasped, "Jean, go back inside." He was cold, he was harsh, he wasn’t in his right mind and Jean could tell.

“What are you doing?” “Nothing! Go the fuck back to sleep.” Eren had this wild look in his face, it was disturbing and Jean looked in the back of the truck, “This isn’t your truck.” Eren walked around the side of the car oddly, “You’re just dreaming. It’s not a big deal.” He gave him such a hard look that Jean almost believed him, “Come on, babe, don’t be like that.” He reached out and Eren relaxed, “It’s not your business.” “What isn’t my business?” He whispered pulling Eren closer, “Come here, you maniac.” He kissed him tenderly and Eren seemed aloof, like he was drugged. He still radiated this menacing aura, he was almost in a daze.

Then something moved under the tarp and there was a low moan. Jean jerked when a hand gripped him and he saw it was bloody and the color of the jacket was a letterman’s. “Who’s under the tarp, Eren?” Eren stared at him, “He’s not going to hurt Armin again.” Jean stared, stunned, he didn’t dare breathe and the look on Eren’s face was so removed from reality. He smiled, wide, almost like a drunk, it was twisted in its manic innocence, “I’m going to kill them all.”

Eren put him in the tub downstairs and used the acid from the hospital to remove any trace of the body. The truck was stolen and what he did with it Jean didn’t know but he may have throw acid on it to for all he knew.

*********************

“I have to tell you something, Arm.”

“What?” 

“Bradley’s dead.”

Armin dropped his pill bottle on the bathroom floor and it rolled towards Jean, “Oh-oh have the police?” He said softly and Jean kept staring at the wound on his neck, “No, that’s what I need to explain.”

***************************

He went to his house a few nights later and Eren was laying on his bed, normal as ever. Jean closed the door and walked over to him, taking his shirt off. Eren smirked, “That’s more like it.” Jean snorted, “I’m just hot.” Eren moved on to his knees towards the end of the bed. He licked up Jean’s abs and smiled, “You taste hot, too.” Jean snorted, “Idiot.” “Hey, did you notice that that bastard hasn’t been in school?” Jean froze, “What?” “That bastard, Bradley, he’s not been coming to school.” Eren gave him a look like _“duh why didn’t you just know who I was referring to?”_ Jean felt like he was trapped, “Um, Eren?” Eren moved back on his bed to the head board picking up a book on vet science, “Yeah?” “When was the last time you saw Bradley?” He asked carefully and Eren’s face flushed red, “When that motherfucker picked Armin up before that party that he tortured him at. I saw good fucking riddance. His brothers say he ran away. Thank God.”

******************

“He doesn’t….know he did it. He doesn’t remember. He doesn’t know he killed him….”

“Oh…” Armin and Jean were sitting at the foot of the bed, the TV’s blue and white light bathed them in the darkened room. Their faces were forward facing, grim, numb, Armin looked around the floor and Jean swallowed thickly. Eren was in the kitchen getting food that Carla had made for them. Armin let his controller slip from his hand, it was loud on the wood floor. Armin was a pale neon blue when Jean looked over, he focused on his lips, “We never tell him. Promise?”

Jean swallowed again, “Okay, promise.”

The door opened with Eren carrying plates of food and Turkish tea, “I have to go back and get the water pot so you can do your tea.” He smiled and left, feet slapping lightly on the wood floor as the door creaked close, “We’ll never tell him.

******************

Jean heard the sound of tires on a dirt road, he opened his eyes, sticky with some sort of glue like substance. He noted the galvanized metal of the van, saw the equipment in the back and through the windows in the low rainy light he saw the tops of trees and their tall trunks.

***************

On his back in the middle of the room, whipped, beaten, come on his face. Armin’s arm was lip by the side of his face. He kept talking and talking and Armin realized that he wasn’t as drugged as he should be anymore. He looked around, saw a lock on the door at the top of the stairs, saw the outline of a set of keys in his pants on the floor. He needed to get those keys, he needed to kill this bastard. He looked around and saw a wall of nothing but crosses. This was his chance.

He stepped around Armin and walked over to the second doorway that was actually the opening to a bathroom. He ran the water in the shower; Armin didn’t have any more time. He rolled on his side, blood and sweat mixing on the rug. He managed to get to his feel. _This ends here._ _Uri_ by Shoshama Damri played on a record player he’d set halfway through his torture session, right before sexually assaulting him, and Armin committed it to memory.

The water was almost warm enough and he removed his shirt.

Armin stood in the doorway, eyes wide.

He ran his hands through his hair.

The makeup lights from the deco mirror shinned brightly, illuminating the white tiled bathroom.

He sighed, reaching into the elastic of his briefs for what he’d grabbed out of the medicine cabinet.

He turned around and Armin was there, face to face with him.

Armin saw the gun as he plunged the sharp end of a cross from the wall into his neck, blood spluttered out, red like life, red like lust.

He screamed, the bullet in his thigh. 

Armin buckled and fell to the floor with a dying man flopping next to him.

He scurried away, ripped fabric and tried to remember how to make a tourniquet.

It had only been a rubber bullet but it had hurt and he was thankful for it.

He got the keys, went to the door, opened it and realized he might be entering even more danger as he crawled through the house limping till he found the kitchen and got a knife. Armin was drowsy but managed to get out into the overgrown backyard. He ran to a car, used the knife to open the door and inside he started to hot wire it. He kept looking around but there was no one to be seen and as he pulled out of the drive way, tired spinning, he vowed to come back. _I’m going to burn this motherfucker down._

He tried to get his bearings, where would jean be? Obviously he’d brought him out here and then left with Jean but to where?

******************

Jean was rolled out onto the ground, his hands bound, his clothes were cut off of him, he was drugged, helpless and as his baseball clothes were put on he heard it all, all the horrible things that made him cry, made him seize up in panic, all he wanted was his mother, “Wher’ssss,” “Don’t worry, you don’t have to talk. I’ll talk.” “Arm’en?” “He’s with a friend, a fellow enthusiast.” 

“I met him online, took a while to know we lived in the same area. He has debts so your mother has been helping. She doesn’t know, but I soon realized I needed a plan and a helper to do this. When I saw Eren had killed his son, I knew that he would be more than willing to take on his half of the plan. Except, you were supposed to have him come over, not Armin. However, he likes blonds so it works out.”

Jean whined, cried more, “Its okay, shush, it really is. He just has so much love to give too. He just likes his things to stay his and Eren took his son from him so now he has another one.” Jean screamed and he slapped him, “Dad, dad, please….stop. This is wrong.” “Wrong? It can’t be wrong. There’s no blood and who could ever love you better?” Jean looked at the sky, dark clouds above him as cool rain drops feel into his eyes, mouth, and rolled down his frigid skin. It was a picture of sadness, his cold colorless skin speckled with black soot from the ground, “Top soil?” They had red clay for soil, not black, “I thought we could become a garden of love.” Jean wanted his momma. Jean wanted Armin. Jean was distraught at the thought of what was happening to Armin right now and he couldn’t help him. He needed help. 

******************

Armin remembered an obscure fact that made his blood run cold. He bobbed in and out of traffic; he had to be careful the police didn’t catch him. He put it together, all those long nights, Delaine’s money wasn’t going to taxes and other things like she thought, she always had to work harder each month because money was disappearing into thin air and when they did the books it was always some fee or automatic withdraw that there were convenient excuses for. He was using it to float his friends’ debts; he was probably covering his own tracks with cash. Delaine had helped a monster for years perfect his craft and she had no idea. _Fuck, this is shit._

********************

He pulled up to the edge of the forest, knife in his lap. It was pouring down rain now. The rocks gave way to water falls from the streams that sought lower grow, Armin looked around and found a green rain jacket and he thanked God because his yellow shirt wasn’t going to help him blend. He could feel Jean, he could feel him and he pushed out the side of the car, threw the jacket on and hid the knife. 

********************

Jean was so numb, so cold; he watched as he dug the grave deeper, the one he was going to be in in just a few minutes. He started to fight against the drugs and when he rolled over he thought he might be able to crawl and then stand. He heard the digging and he willed himself better but he knew he couldn’t get better in time. _Unless he tried a few things._ He raised his fingers and started to make himself throw up. He heard his stepfather stop shoveling, “Yeah, sometimes the drugs make people sick. It’ll pass, love.” Jean kept on. He drank some of the dirty run-off water until he got more dirt than water.

“How much longer?” His father whistled, “Not too much longer, another ten minutes or so and then we’ll be ready.” He focused on getting his toes moving, his fingers, he tried to drink more water, threw up again till there was nothing left. He thought he might be ready and then his hands were on him, “Come on, it’s time.” Jean started to freak out, “No, No! I need more time!” He was pleading, begging, and he just kept pulling him into his arms, “Calm down, love. Don’t be upset.” “Nooooo, dad, please, please, I need more time, more time, please!”

***************

Jean moved, surprising himself with his strength, maybe he’d done better than he thought wearing the drug off and his father wasn’t pleased. Jean struggled and soon there was a knife at his throat, stilling him. Jean could taste the salt in tears despite them mixing with the rain. He looked at the sky, he curse it. _If only I was a bird I could leave._

He pulled him towards the grave and Jean closed his eyes, “Momma, I want momma. I want my momma!”

A thud, the ripping of fabric.

A scream, hands scratching.

Then intense hot white pain from the stab of the blade above his hip, so deep, so close to fatal. He rolled back on the ground and Armin pulled the knife out of his father’s back narrowly escaping the slash of his knife, the one stained with Jean’s blood.

Armin screamed, he screamed so loud that it shook Jean in his soul.

His father charged him taking him in the grave with him.

His knees on either side of Armin’s stomach and his hands gripping the blade like an ice pick.

He slammed down and barely missed Armin’s neck.

Slam.

Slam.

Slam.

Slam.

Jean slid into the grave and grabbed behind him when Armin slashed upwards, knife between his lungs, right where the thymus used to be.

He sputtered, “No.”

Blood dripped from his chin.

Armin looked up at him, blood splattered all over him.

“Die you son of a bitch.”

His voice was so hoarse and spiteful.

“I just had so much love to give.”

He sagged and Jean held him up while Armin tried to pull himself out from beneath him.

The grave was filling with water, black muddy water, so black that when they stood up and let his body fall the water became opaque and obscured his body, “We leave him for now.” “For now?” “We need acid.” “What?” “Jean, we killed someone.” “He attacked us.” “It’s not that simple. I’m sorry.” Armin and Jean looked at each other, standing in black water.

******************

_Endless ringing and then a sudden pick up_

“Are you still hearing them?

_Scratching, the sound of an eraser on paper gliding back and forth._

“Are you still hearing them?”

“There’s something…inside of me.”

_Glass cutting into something and more heavy breathing._

“I don’t want this inside of me anymore.”

“What are you doing right now.”

“Cutting it out of me.”

_Glass popping and cracking._

******************

Armin lit the house on fire, their car with bottles of acid from the Jaeger’s basement. They went to the grave, covered him in the murky water and waited. The smell made Armin throw up. They found the suicide note and read it, it was also destroyed in the acid. It said more than they ever wanted to know, “This stays between us.” Jean said slowly, “If not, mom, Eren, we all will be ruined.” Armin nodded, “Yeah.” “Are you okay?” “No, are you?” “No, not at all.” “I love you.” “I love you, too.”

****************

“I don’t know, Carla he just…he left a note and he just left us.” “But, why? I don’t understand?!” “Look, it’s his hand writing. He’s gone.” Carla looked at the letter and then at Jean at the kitchen table, he looked ill, looked so sad, “I’m so sorry….and after Pierre…. Let me know if I can do anything to help you and Jean. Jean, you hear me, let me know.” Jean nodded slowly while Eren held his hand and Armin drank hot chocolate, he had a cold and he was on more medication.

********************

“Shouldn’t have an artist as a son. I’ve used my art to deceive my mother.” He pulled Armin closer and wiped his eyes. Armin sobbed into the night and when Eren came back to bed he held them both, “I’m sorry, Jean.” “It’s okay, babe.” “Armin, I’m so sorry for you, too. I’m sorry that you had to get a higher dose.” “You’re dad just did what he had to, it’s fine.” “I love you both.” “Yeah.” “Yeah.”

*********************

“Someone dug it up.” Armin stared at the water ran down his face, “The dirt has been disturbed.” “Yeah,” Jean said softly, “We better dig it back up.” 

******************

“Whose bones are these?” “They’re burned.” “Stop.” “They’re burned a bit and they have a…” “Look at the skull….the eye” “What’s in its mouth?” “The eye…” “Armin, what’s in its mouth!?” “It’s him.”

******************

_And now you’ve come to end of the line. Well done! Honestly, you’ve made this a lot more fun than I’d have ever thought. In fact, you’ve come so far I bet you’ve already got kids, settled in your life, everything is great for you. So, since I’ve been so troublesome I’ll try to make it up to you. Who put me here: my brother. How many brothers do I have? I don’t even know but they’re mine, biologically we’re all half siblings, well, the great bulk of us are. Same father, different mothers. And just to give you a heads up we’re all across the span in age. There are babies and grown men, but, oddly enough, not a single sister among us. They’re all dead. And now for the last bit, they’re all watching and waiting because now we’ve entered into a stage of the game we’ve never been in before throughout all these years since the walls were high and the titans roamed freely._

_They’re coming._

_Jemison Reiss._

*******************

Armin dropped Jean off at Bloodhounds and he said he’d have a taxi take him home and just to leave him. Armin sighed, “I love you.” “I love you, too.”

******************

Erwin was called about a break in at the shop and he went to Eren’s room, “Can you watch, Zev?” Eren looked at him, “Yeah, umm but I was going to the store.” “There was a break in at the shop.” “Oh, okay, I’ll take them with me, it’s fine.” “I gotta go, honey.” “Bye.” Erwin had left in a hurry and Eren went to get Zev from his co-sleeper and brought him into his room with Nikko, “Okay…two babies….like….this is fine….like….moms with twins do this all the time….two at a time…everything twice…oh shit, I never want twins….”

Eren tried to change them into warm clothes and then unclothes them when they pooped, “Okay, don’t pee on me, don’t pee on me, don’t OH FUCK!” He tried to put the diaper on Nikko when he started to pee, small stream almost getting him and then as if Zev planned it knowing that Eren’s hands were full, he peed all over with Eren squawking, begging him to aim away from him and then there was cold acceptance that he’d have to change himself as well before leaving. “You two are trouble, that’s for sure.” He looked at the two wrestling forms as they moved and looked at him innocently, “Oh I’m so fucked with the stroller shit.”

Luckily, they had the seats already in the car and he placed both of them inside easily and only got himself buckled in to the sound of crying, “NO! SON!” He heard Nikko cry louder, “Shuuuuushhhhh it’s okay, little dude, don’t do me like that.” Zev gave a coughy start and then started to cry and Eren put his head on the steering wheel, yelling, “YOU BETRAY ME! YOU TWO ARE IN ON THIS AND WISH TO EXPOSE ME AND MY NUBILE ENTRANCE INTO PARENTHOOD! WHY?”

He drove to the kosher shop where their butcher was and made sure to get out and get them in the stroller quickly and into the building where he pushed them up and down the isles grabbing what he needed on his list, “Look at me, being an adult, got two kids, all by myself in a supermarket, parenting and junk, I’m so killing this.” He grabbed some fresh fruit when a woman walked by, “Ohh siehst du Mathias? Die kleine Kinder sind doch so schön.” (Oh, do you see that Mathias! The little children are so beautiful.) Eren preened with pride and then Mathias sneezed and he nearly died, removing the Lysol wipes from his bag and cleaning around the stroller, “HaShem, help us, they could have bird flu.” Zev sneezed and Eren grimaced, “You tell no one you were exposed to bird flu, you hear me, especially Aba. Definitely, not Aba.” Zev kicked his legs and Eren smiled, pulling out his phone to take pictures of them.

He pushed them to the counter and the butcher they really liked was there, “I’ve got your order right here. You missed last week.” “Babies were sick.” “Babies? That’s right, you had a baby.” “I had a baby and my best friend had one. The Smiths, the blonds that are with us?” “Oh yes, it was Levi and the tall blond for a long time and then you two just showed up.” Eren laughed, “Yeah, we showed up and now they’re married with babies.” “Can I see?” “Sure, they’re right here.”

He leaned over the glass counter, “Oh, wow, that’s Levi just miniature.” Eren smiled like a goofball, “I knooooow. But, I love it.” He smiled, “Wow, and this is the Smith baby?” “Zev.” “Zev, wow, a white wolf you’ve got there.” “We think of him like that.” “He’s going to be handsome, both of them. What’s their full names?” “Zev Friedhelm and Nehemiah Lev. We call them Zev and Nikko.” “Nikko is a nice name for Nehemiah. Unconventional and really nice. I might steal it. My wife and I are about to have our eighth child.” “Wow, how do you do it?” “I just let my wife tell me what to do and pray.” “Good advice.”

Eren finished chatting, got his food, and prepared to brave the weather again. He buckled them in, put the bags in the back and then ran to the post office to send off some high holiday invitations. He was excited to host some this year and really make a Jewish home for their children. He checked them in the rear view mirror and they seemed content. No phone calls yet from Erwin and none from the others. Armin and Jean had been gone a long time and he wondered why but that wasn’t really his business.

He pulled up to the house and faced a new challenge, _how do I unload?_ He grimaced, “Ummm guys….I wish I had more hands…” He got out and started to get them out of their seats. Nikko started to cry and so did Zev and Eren frowned, “Awww why you gotta do me so dirty, y’all?” “Hello?”Eren nearly jumped out of his skin.

The man was tall, really tall, he had neatly groomed black hair, slicked down like Erwin did his own, he had a handsome face, in his mid forties and his teeth were white, square jaw, nice chiseled nose. “My name is Michael Kolas and I’m looking for David Lavie? I was told he was living with his childhood friend here and the consulate directed me this way. I didn’t mean to frighten you.” Eren smiled, “Sorry, but you really did.” “I didn’t know you had a child or I would have tried to make myself seen earlier. That’s really a scary thing.” He chuckled, “May I help or should I go?”

Eren could use the help, “Actually, I could use the help. What do you need to speak to David about?” He grabbed the bags, “I’m actually a fellow worker in Sweden. I was a lone soldier and I’m moving here and they said he could help. I have an assignment in Maria.” Eren had them in the stroller, “Don’t you think you shouldn’t tell me this?” “But, you in the club, no? You have clearance.” Eren shrugged coyly, “Still, take it up with him.” He followed Eren inside and put the bags in the kitchen. Eren took his little loves out of their stroller and put them on their mat in the living room. Michael came inside and looked at them, “Which is yours?” 

Eren looked up, “The dark headed one. Looks just like my husband.” He smiled, “I miss this, you’ll miss this.” Eren smiled sadly, “I know, I already feel like they’re getting too big. I’ll call David for you. He doesn’t live here anymore but he’s in town.” Michael smiled, “Please, do.” Zev started to cry and so did Nikko, “They’re so hungry. I was confused but then I realized they were probably hungry.” Eren picked Nikko up, phone nearly slipping out of his hand. Michael reached down but stopped before he touched Zev, “May I? it’s been a while since I’ve held my little gindele but I know that most don’t take kindly to strangers just holding other’s babies.” Eren laughed slightly, “Oh, you’re Jewish?” “Yes, old school conservative.” “Yeah, if you don’t mind.” He picked Zev up and patted his back bouncing him, “No, never. Children are the future. I was a school teacher before this career.”

Eren smiled, looking at his phone, “That’s strange, I don’t have any service?” He frowned too, “I might.” He pulled his phone out and his brow furrowed, “I’m sorry, I don’t either.” Eren moved to look around, “I guess the land line. I have to go upstairs for a second to make the call.” “Thank you, Eren. I’ll just be right here.” Eren hesitated a second, “Can I see you ID?” He smiled, “Of course, take it with you since he’ll probably need to verify it.” He handed him his ID and Eren smiled rushing upstairs to call David.

Michael smiled and admired Zev, “You’re important, gindele.” Zev was calming down and he gave him his finger to suckle on. He rocked him back and forth, “You’re the beginning of dream.” 

*********************

Armin parked; he wiped the tears from his eyes as he went to the front door. He opened it, smelled the scent of pumpkin spice and forest pine and sighed in relief to be home. All he wanted to do was crawl in bed with his husband and son. He felt off, though. He felt like something was amiss. He walked into the living room expecting to find Eren or Erwin in there with the babies and instead he saw something else.

He stood tall, his face smug, the scar down his one eye made Armin freeze.

He turned his body all the way around, “Armin, what a beautiful son you have. He’s really something, so tiny, so fragile, so handsome.”

Armin shook, his entire body welling up in rage.

“Put my son down.”

He nearly snarled like an animal and he simply smirked, “It was so easy to enter, too easy, you’ve let yourself slip. I always saw you for what you were, a pretender.”

Armin moved forward, “What do you want?”

His eyes were like fire and ice as the man made to kiss Zev, “I want a challenge. I want a game.”

Armin inhaled deeply, “I want to kill you.” 

He smiled fully, “And I want to kill you, my sweet.”

Armin snapped, “Let’s make a deal.”

He chuckled darkly, “Yes, let’s.”

****************

Sh’ma Yis-ra-el A-do-nai E-lo-hei-nu, A-do-nai, A-do-nai e-chad Ba-ruch shem k’vod, shem k’vod mal-chu-to l’o-lam, l’o-lam va-ed 

And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart With all thy soul and with all of thy might And all these words which I command you on this day shall be in thy heart, shall be in thy heart 

And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children And thou shalt speak of them when thou sittest in thy house When thou walkest by the way and when thou risest up And when thou liest down, and when thou liest down And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thy hand And they shall be for frontlets between thine eyes And thou shalt write them on the doorpost of thy house And upon thy gates, and upon thy gates That ye may remember and do all of my commandments 

And be holy unto your God, unto your God, unto your God

******************

David ran to the house, ripping the door open and the scene was not what he had expected. Blood in ribbons around the living room, the sign of a fight clearly painted for all to see. Armin held Zev who he fed, covered in blood, but not a scratch on the baby to be found. Eren was rocking Nikko back and forth, tears in his eyes and a look of utter anxiety. “He was here!?” Eren nodded, “He left.” “Where?!” Armin kept his eyes on his son, “We made a deal.”

David punched the wall, “WITHOUT PERMISSION!” Armin turned to him, a look of fierceness he’d never seen, something had changed and David backed off, “I made a deal. I did what I had to to protect my child and Eren and his and _yours._ ” David’s throat was dry, “Mine?” Armin looked at him like he disgusted him, “And it’s with blood I paid for it now leave me the fuck alone.” He heard the door open and Erwin walked in, “Eren?!” Eren kept his head down, “Jean was walking home drunk…” Jean followed him and instead of walking into the living room like Erwin naturally did he stopped and looked inside the kitchen, eyes wide with fear. Erwin’s footsteps paused, “EREN!? EREN!? WHERE ARE YOU?!” “IN HERE! WE’RE FINE!” “WHAT HAPPENED?!”

Levi had pulled up behind them and now was rushing to the door, “Eren?!” They met in the kitchen, mouths open, eyes wide in fear. Erwin rushed Armin to check him and Zev while Levi was on Eren. Jean looked around, “Marco!?” “Not here, Jean, it’s fine.” David comforted him, “Armin did they come?” Jean said, face flushed from alcohol and he shook his head, “But not like you think.” Jean wiped his face and sat down at the table sobbing.

David let out a breath, “Mikasa.”

********************

Keita rested on his back on the mat making noises, soft and sweet while Annie watched him. Mikasa was making tea and she got up from the sofa and walked into the kitchen and stood opposite Mikasa against the counters still looking at Keita as he cooed and grunted. “He’s perfect.” She said quietly and Mikasa stopped looking for a mug, looking up slowly to look at Keita, “I think so.” “I don’t want them to hurt him.” She looked at the floor, “I don’t want them to hurt you. I’m so sorry.”

Mikasa put tea bags in the mugs, “I don’t hate you, Annie.” Annie wanted to cry, “Thank you.” She filled the mugs with water and nicked her head to the couches, “Let’s sit.”

“What are you trying to cut out?” 

“Them…I don’t want to be like them anymore.”

“But, what are they, Annie?” 

“It’s just…I was born into this. I never wanted it. I feel like something is pushing on me on the inside. Something is being called to and I don’t want it, I do not want this.” Annie was sobbing, holding her head, “I don’t want this, Miki.”

Mikasa put a hand on her shoulder, “I know. I’m sorry.” 

Annie took her hand, “They’re going to kill me. I want you to know that they can feel your children, sense that they’re different and they’re going to feel them as well. Hunter meets hunter. Because something in them makes them not feel this.” She motioned to her whole body, “Something, something in Keita won’t ever let him feel this horrible pressure and I’m so happy for him because this is hell. Nothing could drown it out.” Her face was red, her voice high, she was losing her mind, “Nothing can make this go away, not the drugs, not the pain, nothing, I can’t understand how I’ve even managed this long. It’s not like this for everyone, they don’t feel this.”

Mikasa latched on, “Who doesn’t feel this?” She burst into more tears, loud and ugly sobs, “YOU KNOW WHO THEY ARE DON’T BE SO DENSE! YOU’RE SMART MIKI, YOU AND DAVID ARE SMART!” She gasped, pulling back, “I can’t say their names, their names are names you know.” Mikasa grimaced, “Will our children hunt them and kill them?” Annie was taking deep breaths, her hair undone; she faced forward, “They’ll have to.” She turned to face her, “They’ll have to or it will be over, there will be no hope. Armin won’t be able to stop them like he has in the past.”

Mikasa’s blood ran hot but her body was cold, “How do you know anything about Armin?” She looked sad, “He always saw me.” Annie stood up, “What’s your middle name, Mikasa?” Mikasa wasn’t sure why she was asking, “Yaffa.” Annie nodded, “Means beautiful, right?” “Yeah and has the same numeric value as Malka which means queen.” “It’s nice. I really like that. A strong name. You were always so good to me. You all were. I could never hate you and I could never really turn away. I wanted to help but I’m so bound and chased by my own demons. I’m so sorry. You all deserve better.” She laid something on the table, “You’ll have another child, a girl. She’ll be more beautiful than words. Keep your enemies close and always trust Armin. And tell Eren, his father didn’t kill his mother. Burn the cult in Tennessee to the ground as soon as possible. It’ll buy you all more time.” She opened the door and Mikasa filed it all away.

Annie walked out of the apartment and kissed the mezuzah. 

Mikasa looked inside of her tea and then over at the package Annie left on her way out. Wrapped in newspaper was tiny glass vial and Mikasa knew she’d never see Annie Leonhardt again.


	136. Small Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Super smol chapter....3,000 words compared to the 10,000 I've done....yikes.

“The deal is, they help us and we don’t move against them.”

“How long?” 

“Twenty years.”

“Twen….you’ve got to be….what!?”

“He’ll keep his promise.” 

“Did he suggest that?” 

“No, I did.”

“Why twenty?”

“I just want to have…a normal life for a while. I just want our kids to grow up and not have to worry about them for a while. We can get stronger, too. But, there’s another part to it.”

“What, oh HaShem…what?”

“We don’t tell them. We don’t say anything about Abulafia, about the Reiss family, about us, about Mossad, Shin Bet, nothing. David was in the IDF, you were both in the marines, that’s it. No military for them, I don’t want them to join so we discredit it.”

“Why?” 

“There’s a bigger plan now and that would just get our kids involved and I don’t want them involved.”

“I don’t know how we could hide it.”

“Simple, we get a story, we stick to it. We’re just normal people, doing normal things. It’s that simple, honest.”

“Nothing happened.”

“Yes….nothing.”

”He said we have a common enemy and I don’t think he means the folks in the cult.”

“Then who?”

“I don’t know.

“Bullshit!”

“EVERYTHING WE KNOW, WE KNOW BECAUSE OF HIM SO SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

“I never thought peace would be possible.”

“It’s not real peace. It’s just….”

“Shimon Peres said, “Walls are not an end. They are an answer for a given time.””

“So the wall will let us have an opportunity to destroy others that might challenge them? Come on, we’ve been here before.”

“But, honestly, they want us to help them take out the boss, then we’ll go at each other because without working together the boss is too strong. They’re admitting that they’re weaker that what’s here in the states.”

“What even is here?” 

“Whatever is Arkansas.”

“Like?”

“A hive….with a queen, probably.”

“Fuck.”

“Have you checked the polls? Rod leads.”

“Is that your way of saying the world is going to shit?”

“Basically.”

“Then please, stop. You don’t have any reason to get into politics.”

“Does he own property in Arkansas?”

“He’s single, right?” 

“Ewwww.”

“I mean, not like that Jaeger, shit. What I’m saying is why doesn’t he have any kids? What’s with that?”

“There must be someone else with kids.”

“Probably…why did you think of that?

“Ummm….”

Jean looked at Armin who was still covered in blood. Armin spoke again, “Has anyone ever wondered if Jeeter was a member of the Reiss family?”

Eren looked at Nikko and traced his lips with his finger, “Makes sense.” Levi and Erwin exchanged looks, “Uri…”

************************

Mikasa walked into the house, Keita asleep in his carrier, “David?” David walked around the corner, gloves on, “Mikasa, did something…” “Yeah, where’s Levi. Everything with Keita and I is fine.” David nodded, “Okay, well, he’s in the living room cleaning up.” “Okay, I need him.” She moved into the living room and looked at the buckets of bleachy water. Levi looked up from scrubbing, “Mikasa, how are you?” She sighed, “I’ve got something for you.” She held up the vile, “Annie gave it to me. She’s gone. I don’t want to talk about her, just find out what’s in here.”

Levi sprung up from where he was, “What are you talking about?!” “She gave me this before leaving. I’m telling you, it was a final goodbye. She’ll probably kill herself.” Mikasa sounded choked up to Levi’s ears. David was grim, “I called her over because she seemed suicidal. Then Eren called me. I ran right out of the house but I’ve been speaking with her for a while now and she seemed better off so Mikasa… God, this is a horrible day.” Levi nodded and inspected the vile, “I have to call Hanji.”

He left and Mikasa bounced Keita softly, “David?” “Yes?” “You gunna fill me in or should I find Armin?” He grimaced, “Um, Armin is…not really all that nice right now. I should fill you in.” She listened to him as he gave her his side of the story and then she went into the kitchen, “Well, Jews cook when there is trouble so I guess I should make a kugel or something.” David admired her from the opening into the foyer, “You are my everything, Mikasa.” She turned to him smirking, “I know. But who leaves their wife with her ex who’s suicidal?” He looked shameful, “Horrible idiots do.” She raised an eyebrow, “Your words, not mine.” Keita’s arms and legs moved and he watched as she handled their son and made things much more bearable in the house.

***********************

Marco came home with Bellamy after a long day and found his home swarming with people. He entered and smelled something cooking, seeing Mikasa almost done with dinner. David was passed out on the couch, their rug was gone, a fire in the back yard, Zad came in shortly after, pausing like he was to look around. Bellamy waved over his shoulder at Zadkiel who walked forward, “Hey, little guy.” Bellamy smiled, “Dedka.” Marco turned around, “New word, apparently.” Zadkiel gave a short laugh, “I’m not sure your real Dedka would like that, Bell.” Marco smiled, “You can be dedka. Dad’s gunna be nonno.” 

He heard the door open again and it was Ilya and Maxim. They had confused looks on their face, “Why is there fire?” “I don’t know,” Marco began, “the rugs are gone.” Zad’s face was grim, “Uh oh. Something happened if she’s in there cooking and he’s passed out.” Marco and Bellamy went to find Jean and Zad entered the kitchen, “Can I ask you something?” Mikasa nodded, “Sure.” “Does David move pieces behind the scene?” She turned around, Keita awake, a small gurgle that almost turned into a cry, “Why? I’d say yes, but it’s not in a malicious or bad way. In fact, he kept his deck stacked and it’s paid off.”

Zadkiel sighed, “Because I ran into that little Krista you all hang around. She’s getting married and had a buggy full of stuff at the mall.” Mikasa smirked, ‘You were at the mall?” “Hush, and then I started to think that maybe David should be keeping any eye on her.” “Why?” “I don’t know, really. Just a feeling that I have.” She moved to pull out the bread from the oven, her other hand pulling Keita even closer. “Annie was at our house and she said they were coming. She said there were more than we thought and that she didn’t want it anymore. I want to know what “it” is.” Zadkiel walked over when Mikasa started to try and get more things from heated objects, “I can take him so you don’t have to worry. Easy to start it all when it’s cold, I get it.” She took him out of the carrier and handed him to Zadkiel.

Levi appeared, “What did she say?! What did she call it!?” Mikasa wiped her hands on her pants, “Nothing. She laid it on the table. Told me they were coming, to burn the cult to the ground to buy more time, that I was going to have a second child, and that was it. She kept telling David about how she felt like something was inside of her and she’d been trying to “cut it out.” She’s always told us things early and this time it was like she was choking to even get the words out and she was screaming and it was killing her. The way I understood it all was that she was one of “them” and she didn’t want to be. I think she must have been born into it and maybe that means she has Reiss blood, I don’t know. I think she’d have just told us.”

Levi stared unamused, “More, I need more than that.” Mikasa searched her memory, “I know their names. She said there were others like her and I knew there names. She told David that the blood can’t mix and I think that she was saying that our children…because remember she said that your child was in danger, can’t mix with them or others. I’m assuming that there is something with Eren’s blood, maybe Armin’s too since he also contained the coordinate, that they don’t want to mix outside of their control.”

Levi wasn’t satisfied from the look on his face and he left. He went to find Erwin because that’s who he needed, who he wanted. He opened the door to their room and Erwin was changing. Armin and Eren were in there as well, both on the bed with the babies discussing something but he probably knew what it was, “Erwin, I need you now.” Erwin sighed, “Oh god has something happened?” “Come to the office. I need your big tree ass smart ass big ass brain.” Erwin relaxed slightly and looked to Amrin, “It’s fine, Erwin. Nothing’s going to happen. It’s over for now.”

Erwin left with Levi and Eren and Armin exchanged nervous looks while they played with their sons. Eren leaned over and bumped Armin, “I understand if you can’t forgive me.” “Oh, Eren, nooooo,” Armin took his hand, “Eren, you had no idea and why would you? You caught on to it and that’s all we could have hoped for. I mean, he knew all the right things to say and now David knows that his old file was compromised.” Eren looked so conflicted, “But the file wouldn’t have had this address in it!” Armin shrugged, “But, Eren, love, they know where we live and they’ve known.” Eren wiped a stray tear, “He could have hurt him.” Armin’s lips were in a thin line as he looked for the words, “One Eye wouldn’t have harmed him. Taken him, probably. But, he was making a point more than anything.”

Armin looked down at his son, “In a way, I like him. There’s a reason we’re fierce competitors.” Eren reached over and grabbed Zev’s foot, “How did the fight begin?” Armin was tense, “It doesn’t matter. He left worse for wear. I just want to go the fuck to sleep but he’s gunna need to eat in like three hours. I swear, Zev eats like you.” Eren moved his hand through his hair, “Nikko is more like Levi, he’s slow, really controlled. He’s going to be so much like him and it makes me so endlessly happy.”

Armin and Eren were smiling, staring at their sons, “I want them to be besties like us.” Armin said suddenly and Eren turned to him, “What if they get married?” Armin giggled, “OK, so me and Erwin were tots talking about that because, well, between you and me, I think that he wants that to happen so that our grandkids are not only a mix between us four but also because he doesn’t want to share,” “LEVI IS THE SAME WAY BUT HE WILL NOT EXPLICITLY SAY THAT!” “RIGHT!?!?!?! THEY LOVE EACH OTHER!” “TOTS MA GOATS!” “And so we decided that the best way to ensure that this happens is to have a lot of them,” “yes, power in numbers,” “and never ever tell them that we want that because you know if we do, if we say that hey Nikko’s a nice fellow, then they’ll do the opposite because,” “we would have done that. We did exactly the opposite of what our parents said.” They both nodded and turned back to their kids, “We’ve got to make this happen.”

Eren and Armin stared as the tv played in the background and then Eren sighed lovingly, “They don’t do jack shit but I love to watch them.” Armin burst into laughter, “That should go in their baby book. “You didn’t do jack shit but were still pretty cool.””

*****************

Marco opened the door to their room and found Jean face down on the bed. He walked over and Bellamy reached out, “Papa, papa.” Jean groaned and rolled over, attempting a smile. He opened his arms and brought Bellamy to his chest, “Bell, did you have fun with daddy today?” Marco looked him up and down, “Jean,” he paused and Jean knew it was coming, “wanna tell me why you’ve been drinking.” He pulled Bellamy closer and kissed him, “Bell, why don’t you play in your room for a little bit so daddy and papa can talk. Come on, I’ll take you and put on your cartoons!” Bellamy smiled and played with Jean’s shirt.

Jean put him in the floor, gave him his puppy toy and Commander sat on the bed watching him. He wanted to watch the _Aristocats_ which was his favorite movie and that made Jean so happy. It had been his own as well. He walked back into their room and Marco had the baby monitor on and the little screen that showed them inside of the room, “Okay, let me hear it. I swear, if you just got drunk for no good reason,” “I dug up my stepfather’s grave today.” Marco’s words died and he sucked in more air than humanly possible, “W-w-w-w-w,” “This is the story you wanted, Marco. This is why me and Armin are the way we are.” 

Marco sat on the bed slowly, “I-i-i-I don’t….” “Mom married my stepfather a few years after my real father died. He was a nice guy. I mean, he was more my dad than my dad as far as being around and stuff. But, he started to get stranger and stranger and then one day he made these sweets and I thought momma made them. She always had to work late for some reason but she’d do stuff like that. Eren was supposed to come over but Armin didn’t have power or food so I made him come and stay. We ate the snacks and then we passed out. He’d drugged them. I woke up in a van, he took me to the forest, he dug a grave,” Jean told him the story and Marco was enraptured.

“But, why couldn’t you tell the police?” Jean sighed, “Because it started with Eren…” he explained that they never were going to tell Eren what he’d done and Marco was white as a sheet with understanding, “Have you ever worried he’d remember.” “Yeah, plenty of times.” “Is that why you and Armin are always around him when he’s upset?” “Yep, just in case. But, if he hasn’t remembered now, I doubt he will.” “Jeeter’s one of Uri’s kids, isn’t he?” “I don’t know,” Jean laid back and pulled Marco with him to hold him, “he told Erwin he didn’t have any children. I don’t know what we should believe and what we shouldn’t.” Marco nodded.

He turned to check the monitor, “I could never do that to Bellamy.” Marco said softly and Jean snorted, “Yeah, I still don’t get it. But, Bell’s gunna be fine. He’s got you and our parents, so even if I got bat shit insane he’ll be off better than he was in Ukraine.” Marco slapped him playfully, “Shut up, dork. You’re never going to go insane. I love you too much.” “Love will stop insanity? Okay, whatever.” “I love you.” “I love you, too. This stays between us, no one else. Okay?” “Okay.”

***********************

“Erwin,” Levi said his name increasing in pitch by the time the N left his mouth, “this is the titan serum.” Erwin was sitting on the edge of the couch while Levi paced back and forth, sweaty, his shirt stuck to him and Erwin had been very awkward the entire time not knowing what was going on, “And…that’s good, right?” Levi stopped pacing, “Erwin, are you a fucking idiot?” Erwin shrugged, “Uh, well you’re going to tell me I am so…” “Why would she give us this? Why would she just set this down? We had to fight for this and we only got it once! WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!?” Erwin grimaced, “Do…you want me to…” “ERWIN HAS THIS LIFE MADE YOU SO TOTALLY SOFT!? COMMANDER SMITH THIS SHIT I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR IT!”

Erwin stared at the table with the vile and thought about it. Levi stared at him, he looked more like he was going to destroy him with his eyes but Erwin knew he was willing him to be successful, or rather, that’s what Erwin always told himself. He thought about how Annie had always liked Levi and had taken special care of Armin. She wasn’t that impartial to Eren either and had been caught once or twice dreamy eyed when he was around. Levi reached down and picked up something that was scurrying across the floor. Erwin yelped, “OH MY GOD!”

Levi gave him a pointed look, “Are you serious?!” He petted the cat softly, “LIKE OMG Lee, it moved like a tiny dark bullet. Like someone avoiding a tax collector. It was like pew pew!” Levi stared, controlling the smirk at the corner of his mouth, “This is not a tax evader, this is Salvatore, a gangster.” He gave Salvatore a small kiss, “I like him. Captian is probably in the laundry room and he’s left to his own devices since Commander seems to be too good to take up time with him. Mmmm who would have thought that the Smith’s cat would be a purest?” 

Erwin chuckled, “Hush, Commander just likes things to be just so-so.” “He’s an elitist.” “Well, he is the best.” Levi hissed at him. “I think she wants us to make something to combat it, maybe? Like a reversal serum?” Levi’s eyes narrowed, “Go on.” Salvatore purred while he nuzzled against Levi’s cheek and Erwin let out a soft awwwww inside of him, “She probably thought that she wouldn’t be able to stay around us and not prevent us from doing it. I mean that, she thought that whatever was inside of her would take over and this way, she’s sacrificing hope of helping herself for the hope that we can fix this. It seems we’ve turned an enemy agent.”

Levi moved forward, “So, this is an agent that David’s been turning. Makes sense. That’s what he did best.” Erwin’s raised an eyebrow, “Really?” Levi nodded, “David is a lot of things.” “Can you work with this?” “I have an idea…” He thought about a machine in little Moscow full of Eren’s tears.

**********************

Annie sat down in the wooden chair. She was completely soak, her clothes stuck to her and she sat with blank face across from the Brauns. She’d driven, taken the bus, and crawled through the window of their old yellow Victorian in the little Ethiopia section of D.C. where they still lived into her room with a thud. She was only there to figure out her next move. Where was she going to go? What was she going to do now?

Mr. Braun was a _well humored_ man. He made jokes and kept a simple smile on his face the entire time. Mrs. Braun just seemed sad, “They’re on there way.” Annie looked at the breakfast before her and she didn’t speak or even react. “Hitler goes to a fortune teller and asks, when am I going to die?” Annie looked up at him, “and the fortune teller says, on a Jewish holiday. Satisfied, he returns home. But,” Mr. Braun paused, “he realizes there are a lot of holidays so he goes back and asks which one.” He looked at Annie, “And she says, any day you die will be a Jewish holiday.” He chuckled slapping his knee and tore into his pancakes.

They ate like that for the next hour until there was a knock on the door. Annie finished her water and then the chair next to her moved back quickly, the air from the person sitting down pushed against her and she smelled something old, a smell as old as time, like tree bark and rain, “Well, well, I never thought you’d be the problem.” Ymir looked over and smiled. Annie sighed, “Yeah, just make this quick.” Another man sat down across from them, “You were offered as a tribute and as a form of payment. Obviously, this is the purpose of you and you must fulfill it.” “I did.” She said quickly and Mr. and Mrs. Braun shifted uncomfortably, “I just want to go home.” 

Ymir took a sip of the drink that had been set for her, “Well, Annie,” her voice was chiding and sarcastic, “where is that?” Annie’s heart clenched painfully, “It didn’t work. I’m useless to you.” “Ymir, please explain to her that there are no true mistakes.” “Annie, did you take the other vile?” Annie made eye contact, “Yes, it didn’t work.” Ymir swallowed, “We’re the protectors, this is what we do. We’re the fighters, our job is never over.” “It didn’t work. I just want to fade into nothing.” Ymir leaned back in her seat, “Krista and I don’t want to see that happen. You know what, let’s just wait. We’ll work on another vile, we’ve got some left. You know my family works in security and everything as a cover so you’ll stay here and work for Rod on his detail.”

She bristled, “He wont win the presidency.” Ymir snorted, “Yeah,” she rolled her eyes, “but that’s the plan.” Annie couldn’t do this anymore. She couldn’t be here anymore. It was moving inside of her. She got up, “I need to use the bathroom.” She went down the hall to her room but before she could open the door Ymir was there. She pinned her to the wall, lips by her ear, low taunting whisper. “I can feel it in you.” Annie struggled to break free and Ymir’s lips curled into a demonic smile, “There will be no place I can’t find you.” Annie’s pupils dilated, “Because I am the devil inside of you.”

Annie broke free and went into her room. She found some dry clothes, put things in a bag and opened her hiding place with money. She went out the window and started running until she found herself on her old turf. The sky was grey, the rain stung as it hit her face, she made her way down broken and cracked cement sidewalks. Where was she going to go?

She found a friend and got to the airfield, “Well, have to fly you to Canada and then from there, you know, where ever you buy a ticket.” She felt even more sick as she stepped inside of the single engine plane. With her eyes on the floor, painful stinging in her blood she thought about Mikasa, the only person she’d ever really truly loved, holding her perfect child with her perfect husband and she smiled sadly. That life was never meant for her. She put her hand tenderly, lovingly, on her stomach, looking down with tears in her eyes, “I’m so sorry you’ve got such a shitty mother.” 


	137. Men with Babies vs. Men with Kittens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, this is really smol but fluffy. 
> 
> I have serious computer problems and have now had two anxiety attacks because of it and school stuff so I won't be able to post till hopefully next week around Wednesday. (Seriously, it could be worse because I take the computer in the morning to the shop and I just pulled that wish out of my ass) so, this was supposed to be much longer and I've broken it up since it was just about Levi and Eren and thought a little happy would be well recieved. 
> 
> Light candles, pray, make a sacrifice whatever you want to do for my computer. It will be much appreciated.
> 
> *goes to cry in a corner*

Levi rolled over and put his hands under his pillow. He stared, smiling, "I love how you look. I've never loved you more than right now." Eren was shirtless, on his back in the bed. He smiled ear to ear, "Oooohhhh, you're just saying that because I have a baby." Nikko was in his diaper on Eren's chest having tummy time. He moved his hand up and into in his mouth and kicked and squirmed on Eren's smooth, tan, defined chest. Levi smirked, he licked his lips, biting his lower one as heat pooled in his lower stomach, "I could tear into you right this second. I mean, damn, Eren you're so fucking hot."

Eren smiled even more, chuckling, "Men with kittens are what most people go wild over but with you its men with babies." Levi reached over and stroked his face, his voice soft and fond, "Just you and this baby." Eren made a small "Oh" noise and shook his head, "And if Erwin was shirtless with a baby on his chest?" Levi rolled his eyes, cheeks slightly turning pink, "Shut up, brat." Eren snickered as Nikko gurgled. He was enjoying his time on this warm chest. Levi moved closer, "What do you want to do for your birthday, Eren?"

Eren looked at Nikko; he felt his soft hair, swallowed, "Not to have one." He said sadly, quietly, "I miss mom and dad." Levi's face was grim, "Yeah....but maybe we could make it good, just different you know?" Eren nodded, "This is why I love you. You're so mean and grumpy to everyone….but me." He gave him a shit eating grin. Levi chuckled, "I'm a man who only likes a few things." Nikko sputtered, and Levi touched his nose lightly, "What are those things, Levi? Pleaaaaseeee humor me and tell me. Early bday gift."

Levi sighed dramatically, but he gave in, "I like Nikko, Zev, you, Erwin, Armin, Mila, Hanji kind of, Jean, Marco, Bellamy, kind of okay with Zad, Hannes, Ilya and Maxim....that's about it for people," "MIKASA, KEITA, DAVID?!?!?!" "Them too.....fuck.....I used to have it all down to one hand." "FIVE THINGS" "Yes, Erwin, Hanji, David, Dancing, Donner. Maybe Dancing would change to Music sometimes or cleaning....oh I love cleaning so much. I like to swim and tattoos.....when did I start liking things?" Eren shrugged and smiled, "I guess when you met Erwin you grew a little. Then you met me and it sounds like you grew an ass ton." Levi scoffed, "Ew," Levi said truly upset, face in shock, "I don't want all of this....i don't want likes and to grow." Eren moves closer, "But look at what you got from it!" He pointed to Nikko and Levi smiled, "Oh, well," he looked at him lovingly, "guess it was worth it." He moved forward to kiss Nikko and smell him.

Eren smiled, "What else do you like?" Levi shrugged, "Leather, Scandinavian folk music, opera, music in general. I like ballet, I dont know how those people do it." Eren’s eyes widened, "WE SHOULD PUT THE GIRLS IN!" Levi snorted, "We don't have any." Eren exclaimed, "YET!" Levi laughed, "Deal.....I like platinum too. Silk, cool tones, soft tones…" "This went from people to aesthetics.....i like it. Its like a look book of Levi." Levi’s brows furrowed, "What's a look...book?" Eren fronwed, "Bless your heart." He pulled up examples on his phone. Shiren David's video popped up and Levi watched morbidly fascinated, "She gets clothes....puts them on and jumps around in slow motion..." Eren defended her, "She puts where she found them in the video! That’s how you can go and get the looks yourself. I want the hat and I actually bought the trench jacket for Armin. I need to wrap it and give it to him before it becomes too warm." "But it's not a book of "looks" like the definition you provided me." "WOW SUDDENLY THE RECLUSE IS A SPECIALIST ON LOOK BOOKS." "That hurt, Eren. Nikko is hurt." "Hush, Nikko already has an instagram and tag. He is disappointed in you, man." Levi looked aghast, "EREN, NO." Eren smiled, "And so does Zev. They follow each other and have a joint tag." He kicked his legs up and down slightly and Nikko moved happily. 

Levi took a deep breath preparing himself, "What is the tag?" Eren was so smug and proud, "Hebros" "What?" "He-Brooooooos" "THAT didn't help." "Like Hebrew and Bro together. They are hebrew bros." "I think it should have been Hebrew wolf pack." Eren went still and his mouth opened while he thought about it, “I gotta text Armin." He picked up his phone and shot off the text.

Levi snorted, "Its good?" "Tots. I think we should do both. Nikko and Zev are hebros but they live in the hebrew wolf pack." "This youth culture is so strange." Eren put his phone down and gave Levi a pointed look, "You like live in it too and junk??? So youth????" Levi made a strange serious face, "No, I'm actually a vampire and 160 years old." "Do you sparkle?" Levi was caught off guard and he went blank in the face, "No? Vampires don't do that and they can't go out into the sun so it’s all just impossible." Eren snorted, "Wow, Edward Cullen could." _WHO THE FUCK IS EDWARD???_ "Well who the fuck is he?" Eren jumped in the bed and Nikko moved happily again, "LEVI!" "Ain't no Dracula." Levi mumbled defensively, "I like vampires. That goes on the list, too." Eren rolled his eyes, mumbling, "Not the good ones." "Okay, give me whatever details about this Cullen person." Eren opened his Kindle and handed Levi the tablet."Twi...light..... sounds familiar." Levi said under his breath while Eren was dying inside, _He knows LOTR but not twilight?_ "Read a little. You can read really quickly. I'll keep on with tummy time then feedy time!" He smiled at Nikko who kept moving his legs and arms. Levi scoffed, "Whatever."

. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

"Eren!" Eren had just walked back inside from heating up a bottle. Nikko was on Levi's chest, fussy and ready to eat, "If this bitch quivers one more goddammn tims I'm going to scream." "What?" "I'm on the....moon one and I don't know how you were able to read this shit. Poorly written, unimaginative, why is she not stronger? I might understand if she's a strong willed modern woman and not this weak frail tomboy wanna be. Owning a truck doesn't make you against the grain or a tom boy, it makes you someone who owns a truck. And there isn’t near enough believable parts like what happens when she menstruates and do they ever poop? If I wrote a book there would be shit breaks, not quiver-wuiver-river-diver breaks."

Eren was dying from laughter, even Nikko stopped fussing almost to offer a small smile of amusement while his lips greedily covered the bottle. Levi stared, "This wolf boy is clearly the most practical choice. The mother, however, sounds like ding bat and doesn’t deserve children. Why is she so aloof? People like that make shit parents." Eren laughed more, "Do you want to finish it?" Levi sighed dramatically, "I feel like I must. I'm this far in." "Okay, finish them all. I own them all." Eren smiled goofily and started to feed Nikko more properly by sitting down, "Levi......how did you read an entire book in almost an hour?" "I like to read." "Insanity. Thats almost two or three pages a minute or more, I don’t know ‘cause me and math are like not friends." Levi gave him a side look, "I'm a good reader, Eren. Are you not?" Eren shrugged, "I'd say I'm a good reader but I mean, I'm a book a day or every two days if that's all I did." "Well, I'm not. I'm clearly the Übermensch." Eren hit him, grabbing the remote and hitting the button for Netflix, “Can I watch cupcake wars?" "Of course. And lay him back on my chest when you're done. I'm cold."

Eren snorted, "He needs warmth, Levi. He doesn't provide it......yet." "Have you felt him? He's warm like you. Maybe you're so hot you can't really feel it but I can." "Can I lay on your chest?" "You can ride me." "Woah, we have a child present." "What do you think colors taste like?" Eren stared, "Levi, that's weird." Levi looked up, "I think about that a lot." "Weird." "Brat." He looked at the tablet and Eren watched the into to cupcake wars, “I think yellow would taste like….creamy liquid lemon orange soap…” Levi nodded, “Or like dandilions and hot?” “Yeah…I could see that…” “Well, seeing is all we really can do.” “Shut up, Levi.” “Brat.”

. 

. 

. 

"Okay, no, this is just shit. There were moments of promise but now I'm convinced that this only appeals to preteen readers as just something to build up casual reading speed. No fight, no story. Also, they have the worst sex ever." Eren burst into laughter wakimg Nikko upwho'd been napping on Levi's chest for a few hours. "You know what you should read next?" "What?" "Hunger Games." Levi gave him an incredulous look, "Sounds......interesting." Eren took his Kindle, "Uh oh spagettio." Levi snorted, "What?" Eren hooked it up and smiled, "Gotta charge it. Won't take long. You can instead shower me with attention." Levi yawned, "I think I'll take a nap." "LEVI!" He snickered, "Brat, you're so sad looking." "I love you." Eren pouted and Levi pulled the cover up on Nikko more, “Family nap?” Eren shrugged, “Or hand job?” “I’m down. Let me move the baby away from the scene.” “It’s not a crime!” “Oh,” Levi looked at him dashingly, “it will be.”


	138. Baja Blast Motherfucker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, I had to bleed a lot of money and get a new computer while the other was put into a little coffin that luckily looks like it has the socs I need to get my degree. But, there are still issues. I'm still tightly wound. Gunna try and write more fluff to try and destress...ha....ha....like that's possible. 
> 
> *tries to drown in music and safe headspace*

“Noooooooooooo!” Marco looked at Bellamy, “Bellamy Oleksander, _no_ is not a nice word.” Bellamy pouted and Jean came inside the kitchen, “What’s he saying _no_ to?” Marco rolled his eyes, “If you can believe it,” he paused and held up the jar, “Nutella.” Jean stared, “No, not in this house.” He walked over, “Bellamy, buddy, eat your toast. It’s so _nummy._ ” Jean crouched down and looked at him but he shook his head. Jean wasn’t deterred, “Babe, do you think he thinks it’s mud?” “Jean, what?” “Yeah, like, get in kid mind.” Marco started to laugh, “That’s obviously easier for you than me.” He hit Marco playfully and took the jar and held it up to his face, “Bell, this isn’t dirt, little dude, it’s choco goodness condensed into a crème dream for your toast, crackers, veggies, anything. Don’t turn it away, embrace it.”

Bellamy watched as Jean opened the jar and put his finger inside, "Jean! THAT'S NOT CLEAN!" Jean smiled as he sucked the Nutella off of his fingers and grinned when Bellamy gave him a shocked and amazed face, "See Bell, it's gooooooood." He put more on his finger and extended it to Bellamy who looked torn but tried it. His little eyes lit up and he smiled sucking on the chocolate goodness. He watched as Jean did it again and was chided at by Marco. Then, to his horror, his papa tried to take his bread with it on it, "Nooooooooo!" Bellamy put his hand on the toast, slamming it back down, "Ooooh Bell, you won't share with papa?!" Jean was grinning ear to ear as Bellamy took a first cautious bite, "Jean, babe, here." Marco handed him half of his, "Babe, you looooove me." Marco tried to suppress his smile,"Yeah, whatever." Jean stood up and grabbed Marco by the waist kissing his neck and cheek leaving dark smudges behind in his wake, "Babe, you're better than Nutella." "I better be!" He kissed Jean while Bellamy watched and finished his toast. 

"What are we doing today, babe?" "Well, we could go see some houses with mom and dad that Erwin lined up." "UGHHHHH Why won't they let him just pick one?" Marco snorted, "Because they don't know Erwin like we do and they're headstrong like someone else I know and love." He smiled at him and Jean shrugged, "All I heard was that you love me." "Wanna look at wedding stuff?" Jean froze and Marco slapped his arm. Jean yelped rubbing his arm, "Um, Like? I guess I was going to let the family plan that, too. Hahaha." Marco gave Bellamy more juice and wiped his hands with an antibacterial wipe, "These smell so good." He put it up to Jean's nose to smell, "Yeah, wow! Bet Levi found these." "He sure did."

Marco called his father and asked if they wanted to go on home tours with them. His father said he'd love that and that they'd meet them at the first house in a little bit. Marco cleaned up, picked Bellamy up and changed him into warmer [clothes](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/60/11/05/6011056e6cc8c441f59aa2d4e23a335d.jpg) while Jean heated the car up and made sure everything was in the diaper bag. Bellamy was doing well going to the potty and Levi had joked that he was trained quickly, too. He didn’t want to be dirty so he'd taken to the toilet like a swan to water. The entire family had enjoyed this impassioned story. 

When they were inside the car, Bellamy held his stuffed animal and looked out the window while Jean put on some music and held Marco's hand, "Babe, I love you.”Marco smiled his trademark smile, "So, we should ask about buying some of the land from Erwin and Levi." "Why?" "To build our own house." Jean was still and quiet, "kOW, ckow, CkOw, Kooooow!" Bellamy looked out the window at the cows in the pasture calling out his new word, "Wow cow, okay. New word." Marco turned around to check him, "He was calling Zadkiel Dedka. Makes sense since that was Russian, you know?" "Ilya and Maxim speak both to him. Do you think we're confusing him?" Marco pursed his lips, narrowing his eyes in exaggerated concentration, "Mmmmmm Nope. I read that this is okay but not to expect a lot of talking since they're in their silent stage sorting the language out." 

Jean looked over at him, "Who taught you that?" "Levi, you know how multilingual he is and Armin gave me a book. It's short so it didn't take too long to read." "I wanna read that." "Of course, mon petit bagel." Jean sputtered into laughter, "what!? WHAT!?" Marco laughed and so did Bellamy. "Can you believe we're parents?" Jean said suddenly. He sounded truly awed to Marco. "I mean, yeah. Jean, we were always planning, you know?" "But now we have one." "We all have one." "We're lucky." Marco understood what he meant. Zev was in for a rough life. He was going to be blind and maybe they could all deal with it but what if he went deaf, too? Armin would break and there would be nothing we could do. "We," Marco started cautiously, "could always hope that the serum stabilizes and can be made permanent without the effects like I have and Eren has." "But it didn't heal Erwin's ailments he was born with, remember? It merely put him back to his original self. Erwin still has the issues with his flat feet, his slight curve in his back, and he also still needs reading glasses." "True.....he would have naturally needed them and for some reason it didn't correct that....I was so hopeful and now I'm sad Jean."

Jean smiled, “Don't be. It's gunna be what it will be. Plus, have you met the Smiths? They're going to think up something imaginative to help him and he'll have brothers and cousins.” “Cousins?” “Yeah, like, we're basically uncles so Bellamy is a cousin of sorts.” “Oooh.” Marco repressed his smile looking out the window, “Honestly, Babe, you're supposed to be the smart one and you didn't think that Nutella could look like dangerous soil from outside or that family trees are easily applied to our situation. Like, what even are you doing with your time these days?” Jean gave him a goofy smile and Marco laughed, “I dunno man, I just take care of this person all the time that needs so much, so much food, time, care, attention, like they are so fucking needy. And then i have this perfect son who sacrifices so much because his other father needs me too badly.” Marco burst into laughter as Jean smacked his arm, “Baaaaaabbbeeeee that is so cruel!”

They pulled up at the first [house](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e3/ac/8a/e3ac8a2f27b8dfdf86b24b09789f5b65.jpg) and stared, “I dunno.” Jean looked at the house and then to Marco, “Why? It's perfectly fine?” “Then why is your father walking out to tell us it’s not?” He said smugly as Marco looked confused, “Huh?” Giovanni reached the door and had them lower the window, “Delaine says this is a no go.” “Why?” “She said something about the statement it makes when you pull up.” “DAD, WHAT?!” Gio shrugged, he looked at Jean, “You're mother, she says no and it's no, yes?” “Yep.” Jean enunciated the P loudly, “She's difficult in the finest way.” Gio smiled, wrinkles in his face, “This is going to be bad.” “Yet you've already mastered smiling through the pain. Good job.” “Nonno! KOW! KAAAAAOOOOWWWWW! Mooooooo! Moo, nonno, mooooo!” 

*  
*  
*

“This is so pretty,” Delaine admired the outside, clapping her hands together, “but no.” Marco frowned, “Don't you want to see inside?” “Nope. Let's go.” Marco was holding Bellamy and had anticipated letting him down to run around while they looked. Jean didn’t seemed fazed and Gio just kept grinning. They moved on to the next [ house](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/37/22/39/372239df22ede8b802814a644f1ee1b7.jpg) and Gio loved it, “Look at this [entryway!”](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/1a/08/f9/1a08f9d5a84a70dbf4d68878516c69c0.jpg) Delaine nodded, “Yeah, but who do you think we are? The Smith-Ackermanns?” Gio burst into laughter, “Oh goodness, why not?!” Jean smirked, “Marco and I are not even the Smith-Ackermanns. We call them Ackermann-Smiths, though.” He winked and his mother pushed him to the side, “On to the next one.” Marco sighed and when they got into the car, “I thought we’d at least make it into the kitchen.” Jean snickered, “Oh, babe, you’re going to see just how relaxed I’ve had to be my entire life along this journey.” Marco was horrified.

Bellamy hummed in his seat and kicked his feet, “Donner?” Jean looked into the rear view mirror and smiled, “Donner? Donner’s at home, little dude.” Marco snorted, mumbling while giving him a side glance, “Little dude, get outta here with that.” Jean snickered more, “He’s a little dude, Marco.” “He’s a sweet poof poof.” “What the fuck is that!? Hahahaahaha _poof poof_!” Bellamy kicked his legs more, “DONNER!” Marco turned around, “Bellamy, where did you learn that word?” Bellamy paused thinking, “Maxi.”

“Maxi? Who is that?” Marco probed for more words. Bellamy seemed to really concentrate, lips pouty, brows furrowed, “Maxi!” “Ha! I know but who is he!?” Bellamy sighed in frustration, bit his bottom lip and released it looking at Marco like he had simple exasperated him to the point of no return, “Kool. Maxi kool.” Jean nearly wrecked the car, he pulled over, doubled over in laughter. Marco was wiping tears from his eyes, “WAHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA JEAN! WHO TOLD HIM THAT!?!?!” “I DUNNO BABE MY GOD!!!” “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Bellamy seemed to get tickled and started to laugh with them and then they laughed even more because that was ludicrous and he clearly didn’t understand that he had made them laugh like that.

When they got to the next [ house](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/73/6b/37/736b3745f24b7c0555adbbdd11dacfe2.jpg) they made it all the way to the [foyer](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/94/84/05/948405a8dba5bf761bd6323878a9ef72.jpg) before she said no. Then they thought they hit the nail on the head, “LOOK AT THIS PRETTY HOUSE!” Delaine squealed as they walked up. Bellamy smiled, “Cinna.” Marco kissed the side of his face, “Blue, Cinna means Blue, Bell.” Jean ruffled his hair, “You’re so smart.” Gio chuckled, “Oh, I see you’re already looking at him like I looked at Marco.” Jean smiled, “This is my smart boy, so smart. Like his daddy, really.” Bellamy stretched his arms out towards him and Gio took him, “Yes, very smart and handsome.”

Delaine and Jean went on through the house and Marco and Gio landed in the [kitchen](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e0/b3/2e/e0b32ea212a2bf5a23d04afc0d43a04a.jpg), “I think this is it.” Gio said hushedly, “Thank God.” Marco snorted, “They’re picky.” ‘Yes, these Kirschsteins….not at all as relaxed as we Bodts.” Jean appeared with his mother, “There are only _TWO_ and a half baths in this five bedroom house. Honestly, what was Erwin thinking? This is unacceptable.” Marco and Gio exchange looks, “Jean, what do you think?” “I think that’s fucking unacceptable, let’s go.” Marco rolled his eyes, “I just don’t understand,” he mumbled quietly under his breath to his father. He took Bellamy and went to the car.

*  
*  
*

The next few hours tested Marco’s patience and Jeans. “Listen, I was with her on the bathrooms because that’s just problematic and for the money ridiculous. I’m just tired, man.” “Yeah, Bellamy is crashing and might get fussy.” “We should get something to eat.” ‘Like?” “Sooooonic.” “Jean,” ‘SONIC!” “NO, YOU KNOW HOW YOU GET AT SONIC!” “BAJA BLAST MOTHERFUCKER!” “JEEEEAAAAN NOOOOOOO!” Jean pulled into Sonic and Marco gave him a warning glance, “Jean….” 

Jean hit the button, “Hey, welcome to Sonic,” “Yes, may I have two orders of chili dogs with fries, tater tots, and” “are the taters separate,” “oh, yes ma’am, they are their own little entity. Can I have a large Baja Blast, a small cherry coke, and a number 4 no onion or lettuce, a kids number 3 with fruit, fries, and i dunno do you have like something fun?” “We can do a special like sundae with sprinkles,” “please and the number 4 with fries, could you put extra napkins in and exactly 23 packets of ketchup and 6 mustards? I’d also like a cherry coke medium and an apple juice.”

Marco wanted to be angry but he couldn’t be. Jean loved Sonic and they often came but he lost his mind all the time over it. “Do you remember that this is where our first date ended up?” Jean leaned back and looked at him, “Marco, I could never forget.” “We went to that french place and you were so mortified.” “Babe, I thought it was French, authentic, and when they were trying to serve snails with papers on them I had to put a stop to it.” “I didn’t mind as long as you were actually legit.” “Legit?” “Legit, as in interested in me and nice.” “Ahhhh I see. That’s nice to know.” “Yeah, you know, we’ve never talked really about it.” Jean smiled, “So, let’s reminisce since we’ve got about thirty to eat and then return to the torture that is my mother and he high end tastes.”

*  
*  
*

Marco combed his hair to the side one last time. His roommate lounged on his bunk with some sort of trap music on that Marco thought was very overdone. He pulled at the hem of his shirt and then he spoke, “You got a date, dude?” Marco turned around, “Yeah, but I got off work and even after a shower I feel like I smell like java.” His roommate smirked, “Bitches love sweet coco. You’ll be fine.” Marco snorted, “Thanks.”

He checked his phone and saw that Jean was on his way. “What she look like?” “Who?” “Your girl.” “He looks pretty handsome.” “What?” “I said HE looks pretty handsome.” He paused, “You’re a homo?” “Yeah, bro. I’m full homo.” “FULL HOMO?” “The fullest homo a homo can be.” “Do you like look at me and stuff when I change!? Have you tried to spy on me and the other guys?!” “No.” “Why?” “Because you’re all not my type at all.” There was a long heavy pause, “What? Why not? I’m a dude.” “Just because I’m gay does not mean I’m attracted to you or all men. It’s the same thing as being straight. I don’t find you attractive at all and have no interest in you.” He looked wounded, “Bruh….that’s harsh. Why?” “OMG THIS IS THE SHIT YOU DO TO WOMEN I’M JUST NOT OKAY? THAT’S IT!” “But what if I was blond?” “Nooooooooope.” “Red head?” “Nope. Please stop.”

Marco was way too nervous and his stomach was in his throat. He was going to try and put his best foot forward and be as pleasant and non-offending as possible. He couldn’t fuck this up but maybe he should change? A knock on the door allowed him a lull between fighting with his roommate and worrying and he seized it to open the door.

*  
*  
*

“No way, babe.” Jean smashed fries into his mouth, “He really asked that?” “Yep, he kept on till I moved in with you. He was super pushy.” Marco took a swig of his coke, leaned back and made an “Ah” sound when he swallowed, “He’s a bottom on a gay sex site.” Jean burst into laughter, fries exploding everywhere. “Babe, I was so nervous.”

*  
*  
*

He had talked it over with Armin over and over again. Armin swore he looked good and gave him guidelines: no cussing, no bitching, pleasant, non-offending and he might be okay and get a few more dates out of him. Then, after they were married he could start to let the real Jean out. He exhaled and opened his eyes.

*  
*  
*

”You talked about it to Armin?!” “Of course, no one would have asked Jaeger.” “Omg, Jean, I told myself the same things.” “Babe, I love you but you almost put me in the grave.”

*  
*  
*

Jean opened the door of the car to let Marco out and sighed a breath of relief when he didn’t stumble. He’d been shaking all night. Marco was smart, funny, and sweet. Jean was a mess, totally and completely. He took a deep breath and steadied himself, “Reservations for Mr. Kirschstein.” The waiter gave him a bored and uninterested look, “Um, okay.” _FUCK YOU YOU ASSHOLE I'M ON A DATE BE FUCKING NICE! AHHHHH_ He merely smiled and kept his thoughts to himself. Marco kept smiling looking around and then they were sat at a table near a small aquarium. “I’ve never had French food. Obviously, fries don’t count.” _You are fucking adorable you sweet little freckled jesus._ He giggled and Jean started to sweat, “My mother makes the best but this place is supposed to be great and authentic.” “Then I’ll let you pick.” “Pick?” “My food. I’ll look and narrow it down but if you want me to try something I shall.” _Wow such faith in me….uh...nervous….so nervous….FUCK IT ALL UP AND SAY SOMETHING STUPID_ “You use the word shall?” Marco seemed caught off guard and ducked his head down a bit, “You don’t?”Jean internally hit himself, “No…..should I?” Marco laughed shortly, “I think everyone should.”

”What are you studying?” Marco sipped his water, “Well, creative writing is the title but I also have a business minor in the the mix.” He smiled and ate some of the bread, “This….bread is….” Jean put some in his mouth and tried to chew, “Like….rocks or cement. What the fuc-I MEAN what is this? Panera wouldn’t have let this leave the oven.” Marco started to laugh and Jean wiped his face. He was trying to be proper and not cuss and be crass like he normally was. “They’d have committed this little ball of baked dough to clean eating hell!” Jean smirked, _be nice and junk,_ “Sir, could we have another loaf, this is really stale.” The man stared, “No, I’ll just bring you some more butter.” “Um...butter?” “We’re all out of bread so yeah.” 

Marco and Jean exchanged glances. Jean was perturbed but Marco seemed to find it very amusing. “What are you studying?” “Art. I’m in the pre-program but listed as a sophomore. I’m up for acceptance into the program and I’m kind of freaking out because….ha….pressure…..yeah,..” “Oh, wow! What do you paint or draw or what do you do?” “I like to paint but I also sketch. I’m in it for paint. If that makes sense.” Marco smiled the entire time and Jean got lost counting his freckles, _Gosh he has a lot of freckles._ “Well, have you ever painted any french ladies?” 

Jean’s face turned beet red, “W-w-w-haaaat? I uh no wait maybe I dunno what you’re talking about.” Marco’s eyes glinted with mischievousness, “YOU SAID MAYBE!” He was literally dying from embarrassment. He drank more water, “I’ve painted people before but they weren’t French.” He said defensively and Marco kept laughing, “Who? Any women?” “Yeah, my friend Mikasa. She’s super pretty.” “Mikasa?” “Yeah.” “Does she have really dark black hair, asian?” “Yes, her hair is decadent.” He was such a loser and couldn’t believe he’d said such a creepy ass thing to this creature of goodness and radiant pureness in front of him.

“Yeah, she’s gorgeous.” Marco smiled and Jean felt the urge to blurt, “It’s how I actually asked her out in the beginning. I told her hair was beautiful and somehow worked it into a date.” Marco’s face fell, “Excuse me?” Jean sputtered, “I d-d-ated her in High School.” Marco stared and then became awkward, “Oh, I thought you were….” “I’m bisexual.” “Oh!” “Yep.” “Okay, well, then that’s a relief. I didn’t know what was going on here for a second.” He drank more water and Jean knew he’d ruined it all. The waiter returned throwing the butter in a small metal dish down, “So, everything you ordered,” they looked up at him, “it’s not gunna happen. We can only do three dishes.” “What?” Jean deadpanned, “I don’t understand.” “Our chef’s supplier ran out and now he only has enough for three finely crafted dishes so everyone is getting a true fine dining experience tonight. You’ll be having first quail with spinach. Second,we’ll have the escargo. Thirdly, creme brulee.” Marco shrugged, “That all sounds wonderful.” Jean was fuming, neck hot. He grinned and tried not to scream, _this is literally the most fucked up and awkward date ever._ “That’s fine.” * * * 

_I am such a nerd._ “You really don’t want to hear about my ideas for books.” Marco said nervously and pulled at the hem of his shirt. Jean shook his head, “No! I think that’s something really interesting.” Marco was trying to put his best foot forward and not tell him about all the weird stuff he really wanted to write so he lied, “Well, I think a book about...a lake house would be good.” He watched the light die in Jean’s house and he felt his own. _Fucking Nicholas Sparks could you be any more stupid why didn’t you say zombies all the cool kids like zombies._ “Oh….a lake house.” “Yeah, that has….a secret….” “Oh, a secret? Like what?” “Like…..it has hole in the basement.” “A hole?” “Yes….and a….white dragon lives in it.” _What. The. fuck. Is. wrong. With. me._ “And?”

“It talks to the man who lives there.” “What does it say?” “Stuff like…” he looked around quickly, “You’ve left the oven on.” He cringed, he was just trying to buy time since their food was taking so long. He really liked Jean and was trying to do his best to get him to like him. They’d had a connection at the coffee shop in his opinion but maybe that was just on his end? “It’s a metaphor.” Marco said quickly. That was a good blanket statement that writers could use to get away with things so he’d use it willingly.

Their food appeared and Marco was starving. He started to inspect the spinach that was way too cooked and therefore, would be very bitter. Jean picked at it but must have figured the same thing and didn’t eat it. They opened their meat with their forks and it was pretty dry however, they ate their first bits of food other than the hard bread. “What is this?” Jean said suddenly and Marco replied hesitantly, “Quail?” Jean’s brow furrowed, “Quail it is definitely not.” 

A few more bites, “Are you serious?!” The waiter returned with the escargot, “This is pigeon.” “Squab,” “You told us we’d have quail!” “Same thing.” “NO, SEEDY CITY BIRD IS NOT COUNTRY FINE FEATHER FRIEND!” “Whatever, squab is very rich.” “WHEN COOKED PROPERLY! WHY ARE THEIR PIECES OF PAPER ON THE SNAILS?!” He looked practically offended by the snails before him,Marco was enraptured by his facial expressions, “They’re made of chocolate.” Jean deadpanned, “Chocolate?” “Yes, what else?” “OH,” Jean was haughty, “I DON’T KNOW NOT CHOCOLATE!” He remembered that Marco was there and his face was the same hollow mask of smiles, “I think we should just go. I agree, this is not at all what we’ve ordered nor expected or were promised. Here,” he laid a twenty down, “for your trouble.” Marco stood and Jean felt suddenly extremely hot and itchy. He knew what was happening and pulled his collar higher on his neck like some sort of gangster. Marco stared, inside he was dying from humor.

Marco looked over at the aquarium, “At least we had a nice view.” The waiter looked amused that they were leaving and grabbed the twenty. Jean wanted to take it and tell him just how he’d not earned this at all but then there was a tiny ping and then another and another and then _swoooooooooshhhhh._

Marco, Jean, and the waiter were suddenly standing in a torrent of waves after the aquarium glass broke. It was a travesty of aquatic life, a really natural disaster and both of their shoes, socks, and pants were soaked. The waiter whistled and handed the twenty back to Marco, “Okay, have a nice night.” And then he walked off.

*  
*  
*

Jean got to his car and sighed. They got inside and he was heading back to the dorm. He knew he’d ruined it with Mikasa, his temper, and everything. He had a bottle of vodka he was going to get into and then Marco spoke, “I’m actually still hungry. Wanna order some fast food?” Jean looked at him, “You don’t just want to go back to the dorm? That was fucking horrible. Oops freakin’ horrible.” Marco giggled, “Jean, I cuss like a goddamn sailor and no, I’m fine with just hanging out with you….but food is kind of important for life and stuff.” “Really? But I yelled and lost my temper?” “I mean, I’ve known you were a hot head and really, you said everything I wanted to say. I would have cut you off if you’d gone too far.” He winked and Jean smiled wide and saw the Sonic sign, “Do….do you like Sonic?” “It’s cool. We can do-thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-” Jean took the turn like a formula one driver.

When they pulled up he ordered his go-to and asked Marco what he wanted. He was prepared to get into his Baja Blast but his wet pants were really making him uncomfortable, “Can I….it’d be weird right, if I took my pants off?” Marco looked at him shyly, “ Can I take mine off too?” “YES!” They giggled taking their pants off waiting for their food. The drinks oddly came first and Jean reached in the back, “No judgement? This is the best. Coconut rum and Baja blast.” “POUR IT IN MINE TOO!” They spiked their blasts and started to drink them rapidly while continuing to wait. They were buzzed on empty stomachs, giggling at really anything and everything. Marco and Jean were relaxing around each other and making jokes like old friends. Then their food appeared in the red chariot as Jean called it.

The girl gave them a strange look but Marco passed the twenty over, “Man, no, I asked you out.” “Doesn’t matter, it’s tainted now.” Jean smiled, “With the blood of all those fishy residents of that glass city.” The girl looked horrified. “Freaks.” Jean smiled, “YOU KNOW IT NOW FETCH ME ANOTHER BLAST!”

They ate, talked, and it was good. “What do you mean you made it up!?” “I MEAN THAT A FUCKING DRAGON IN A HOLE WAS JUST SHIT! I really wanna write some weird shit like large amazon intersex women finding their way in life or like about a tree glider fighting against big government.” “DO YOU LIKE RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE?!” “LOVE THEM!” “OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH YEEEEEEES” “Jean, your neck looks so violent.” Jean felt his itchy neck, “Um...what?” He popped the collar more to hide the rash, “Is it a real thing or are you a reptilian gangster?” 

“Stress related. I was so nervous and then all that bullshit kept happening and it was too much.” Marco smiled around his cheeseburger, “Aww were you really nervous?” Jean was shy, “Yeah….I mean, come on.” Marco had also been just as nervous be he was going to milk it while he could, “No, why?” Jean looked away, cleared his throat and mumbled, “You know...you’re special...I just wanted you to get something special, something you deserved….like special stuff i dunno…” Marco smiled. He was pretty drunk and sloppy but Jean didn’t mind. He had ketchup on his cheek and pickles in his teeth. Jean looked at him, “Like, right now you look like a hot mess and really, I mean you look hot but you’re a mess.”

Marco got a napkin out and wiped his face, “Shut up, dork.” He bit his cheeseburger again, ketchup and mustard squirted down the front of his shirt and he lowered his burger in defeat, pouting, eyes closed in mock devastation as Jean cackled, “This is great. This is gunna make a great story.” Marco was shaking from laughter, “What kind of story?” “They story about when I fell in love with you. It’d be the moment I saw you pantless covered in condiments failing at eating a cheeseburger but still smiling.” Marco blushed, “Shuuuut uuuuuup.”

Jean admired his freckles in the street light, _I wonder if he has freckles everywhere? I wonder if…_ “do you have freckles on your ass, too?” Jean was mortified that he asked out loud and slapped his hand on his mouth, _Drunk Jean you BETRAY ME._ “OMG NOOOOOO I’M SO SORRY!” Marco was doubled over laughing, “And I’ll say I fell in love with him when he asked what the ratio was of skin to freckle in my ass! HAHAHAHAHAHAA!”

*  
*  
*

Jean reached over to wipe some ketchup on his cheek, “Babe, it was the best date ever.” Marco wiped the ketchup off and gave him a sly smile, “It was the most comfortable date ever. We just kept poking fun at ourselves and look where we are.” They both kissed and then looked at Bellamy, “You done, little buddy?” Bellamy put his paper in the trash bag, “Bye-bye.” Jean and Marco both mimicked him, “Bye-bye!” They looked at each other smiling, “You were such a hot head, you know?” “What do you mean?” “When you like forgot I was there and started yelling. I should have said hell no to you because of that.” Jean smiled smugly, “But, my ravishing good looks saved me.” “Pshhh whatever.” “Let’s go to the next house, babe.” “Let’s.” They set off with Jean’s Baja Blast moving in the Styrofoam cup. Marco reached over and grabbed it, drinking as quickly as he could it’s content. Jean screeched, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU DEMON HOW COULD YOU STOP STOP I CAN’T STOP DRIVING! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY BAHA BLAST!” Marco giggle diabolically as Jean moaned and groaned. “Hahaha your face is priceless.” Jean slapped his arm, “MEANIE!”

They pulled up to the house and once again were turned away after a few moments. Delaine and Gio were running them into the ground with their growing list of demands. It would be another five hours till Delaine was standing in the grass in front of the white french style [house](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/d3/26/0a/d3260a5875fd6e5675b8e7541386e594.jpg) that Levi had added to the list with careful handwriting. She smiled, “This is it.” Gio gave a wary look, “Let’s look inside.” They looked at the [kitchen](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/4c/fc/8c/4cfc8c87a179a5818f69a2a447d3f586.jpg), the [bedroom](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ea/7a/88/ea7a88aeee39ca9e2ebd76e1e68b3f66.jpg), [the bathroom](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/5d/44/90/5d4490b27d3d50f5192e6608472cb147.jpg), then the [closest](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/3b/d5/4e/3bd54e17f1b9c21cdcb1ad4e96906699.jpg). It was perfect and Gio found no flaw either. Jean and Marco smiled as Bellamy ran ahead of them shakily and repeated the words he knew in various languages. They were happy, content, and full of Baja Blast. 

They packed Bellamy back up in the car while Delaine called Levi and Erwin to talk numbers and when they could put a bid in. Erwin was apparently surprised that Levi had added a house and Delaine thought it was cute how competitive they were, “Always one of them tries to be big daddy.” Jean and Marco chuckled, “Yeah, it’s nice, though.” Bellamy looked around, “Я ем…..ем…” Jean and Marco both raised their eyebrows, “He’s going to be talking for real soon. But, I think that’s Russian and he’s hungry again.” Gio smiled, “Want to grab dinner with us?” Bellamy kicked his legs, “Donner!” Jean chuckled, “Nope, gunna go home to see Donner and we’ll make something there.” Gio gave him a hug, “Okay, I love you.” Jean felt warm inside, “Love you, too.” Marco and Delaine were already parting with smiles and kisses.

When they got home they decided to make pasta. “Babe, that’s too much.” Marco looked at him like he’d offended him, “I’m sorry, I’m Italian. Don’t fucking tell me how to make sauce you wine drinking bastard.” Jean pulled back, “Uh, hurtful much. WHY ARE YOU SO SASSY RIGHT NOW YOUR EYES ARE DEMONIC! IT’S TOO MUCH PARSLEY!” “Look at you, you can only do cheese, you can’t even boil noodles to andante.” Jean took his apron off and put his spoon down, raising his hands in surrender, “WOW OK I’M GETTING THE FUCK OUTTA HERE. Can you believe this?!” He looked at Bellamy who was eating some fruit snacks Levi got him. He loved them and Levi said they did some good shit for his bones so Jean just gave them to him by the fist full because he didn’t know what tiny bodies needed his body wasn’t tiny anymore what did his body even need he’d get paranoid and eat them too sometimes but he never told what happens when Bellamy can tell damn.

”Jean, pass me the salt.” Jean held up the salt and passed it to him, “Not the kosher.” “Um…..we don’t have non-kosher?” “We….should….” “Nope. It’ll have to do.” “Damn, French.” “HEY! Levi gets a pass, man.” “No one gets a pass when it comes to my pasta game, Jean. I take no prisoners.” “Obviously.” Bellamy started singing to himself and made grabby hands at Jean. He wanted to wipe his hands off with the antibacterial wipes Levi also had, “I think Levi is brainwashing our child.” “I know….but at least he’ll be more like me and not you when it comes to that stuff.” “WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!” “Jean,” Marco chuckled, “you ate raman off the band practice floor.” “I was not gunna let the last chicken packet go to waste. Yolo.” “Yolo once you get a disease.” “Whatevs….you kissed me after it.”

Marco looked away, “So, this will be ready soonish.” Jean burst into laughter, “AHHHHHH hahahah can’t handle your own dirtiness, can you?” “Shush.” “You shush.” “Kiss me.” “Always.”

*  
*  
*

Jean crawled in the covers with Jean who was shirtless and looking at sketches. Marco slung his leg over him and laid his head on his chest, “This one, babe.” Jean showed him his phone and Marco squinted, “What?” “What do think of something like this?” Marco looked closer at the sketch and the floor plan, “Wow, yeah. It would go with this house and...Jean, that’s a lot of space.” He smiled brightly and Jean smirked, “We want a lot of kids, gotta have room. When Mom and Dad get super old they might need to move in. Or, you know, we could let Max and Ilya move in with us. We’re super close already and then it’d be two and two.” “Two and two?” “Families per house.” “I love you, Jean. I love you so much.” Jean kissed him passionately, “I wanna make love.” Marco giggled, “Laaaaame.” “What, that’s the cool way to initiate sex.” “No it isn’t.” “Then what is?” Marco flipped him on his back and rolled his hips, “This is.” 

Jean smiled as Marco bent down, “WAIT! Mood music.” He hit the play button on his phone and Cher filled the room, “CHER!” “Half breed, that’s all I ever was babe.” Jean smiled as Marco kissed him. Marco pulled back, smirking, “I kind of want Faith Hill.” “EWWW BOO, BOO!” “Okay!” He smiled leaning back down, “Cher it is.”


	139. IKEA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Though a new computer is in my life it is a space computer that somehow could probably destroy a small city if I could figure out the key combinations but it doesn't have word so.......I have write on my phone mostly and therefore, there will defs be more strange mistakes ans misspellings. I'm sorry.

Armin yawned as he heated the bottle up. He had [Zev](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/d1/fb/34/d1fb34749cad766e73602fb6127ee932.jpg) in his arms laid over his shoulder as he bounced gently up and down on the balls of his feet. He smiled as Zev sputtered and made his tiny sounds. He was so perfect, wonderful, he loved him more than he knew was possible. Erwin had laughed when he’d told him he loved him more than him, “I’d hope so. He’s our son.” “But, I feel bad.” “Why?” “Because, I love you so much.” “But, I’d rather you loved our son more than me.” “I wish I loved you the same.” “I love him more than you.” “Duh, look at him, he’s precious and perfect.” Armin pointed at Zev between them in the bed. He smiled and Erwin could see it in the dark.

[Armin](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/17/83/64/178364af3d63f8206be9a794dcae969b.jpg) was dressed up, finally feeling more like himself than he’d felt since Zev was born. He took a few selfies of them and posted one of Zev to his instagram they’d started for him. Armin’s hair was braided like some Russian milkmaid. He liked it and Maxim had showed him how to do it. They’d sat up one night when Zev was having trouble and waited for him to fall asleep braiding each other’s hair laughing. Armin hummed and then felt two large hands on his waist.

Erwin’s lips were at his cheek and he kissed him lovingly, “Hey, pretty mama.” He winked and Armin’s cheeks flushed a little. He kissed Zev a few times, “Let’s do something together.” Erwin said excitedly and Armin smiled, ‘Like what?” “Let’s go to IKEA.” Armin looked suspicious, “Um, why? We don’t need anything from there.” “Cooome on baby.” Erwin smiled pleasantly and Armin knew something was up, “Erwin, you’re hiding something.” “No, I’m not my beautiful baby mama.” “Oh goodness….okay….let’s go.”

Erwin kissed Armin again and they lingered a bit. They hadn’t had any adult time since Zev’s birth, since February 15th…..and it was almost March 30th…..Armin groaned internally at the thought, “We need to get Eren something for his birthday, too.” Erwin nodded, “Of course. I should get the diaper bag and some shoes, and a hat and some sunscreen and and and….I’ll just bring it all you know, like some antibiotics too just in case.” Erwin hurried off and Armin laughed shortly. They were both balls of anxiety when it came to Zev and his precarious health.

Armin looked at Zev as he fed him, “You know, you’re really lucky to have Erwin as your daddy. He’s pretty much the most adult of us adults. He is the adult we look to for more advice on adulting.” Zev sucked on the bottle, hand moving up and down, fingers open where Armin could see each of them in detail, “Your daddy also loves you so much he talks about you in his sleep. He keeps us as his phone lock screen and screen saver because we’re pretty much the best things ever. Well, you’re better than me. You’re going to do better than me.” He wanted to cry for everything, the thought that Zev was fighting a battle he couldn’t win, the fact he’d grow up with only one grandparent, the fact he had two broken fathers trying to hold it all together for him. He tried to shake the thoughts away and kissed him, “Your daddy is also one of the most handsome men in the word but he needs to tame his toenails.” 

“Baby! Don’t say things like that to him and give me a bad rap.” Armin smiled, “Can I bring my kindle?” “I packed it already.” “Aw, thanks.” He smiled and admired them, “First trip as a family.” Erwin inhaled deeply, “I’m fucking terrified but let’s do this.”

*  
*  
*

Armin wrapped his new trench jacket around Zev in his carrier as they walked inside, “Watch your step, miss.” Armin had almost stepped in a small section of ice and Erwin’s hand on his arm kept him steady and out of danger. Armin smiled shyly. He felt like when they were first dating with how protective and cheeky Erwin was with him lately, “Wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.” He kissed the top of Armin’s head and they went forward into the store.

Armin was walking around looking at all of the neat things, “They have plants and stuff here?” Erwin looked down at him, “Have you never been to Ikea before, baby?” Armin was embarrassed, “No…” Erwin smiled, “Baby! Yeah, they’ve got everything.” “Would you ever want to live in Sweden?” “I think it’d be neat.” Armin smirked, “Neat is not really an Erwin word.” Erwin raised his eyebrows, “No? What’s an Erwin word?” Armin looked at the tiny trees, “A word like malpractice is an Erwin word.” He smiled, small burst of laughter escaped his lips, “And another one would be taxes.” Erwin laughed, “Tell me more Erwin language.”

Zev was awake and moving in his carrier, “Phrases like, “Unfortunately, the article clearly states that,” and “Citations are important, an uncited work is a very well crafted lie.”” Armin actually really laughed at that one, “I loved that one. And then words like responsibility, taxes, order, litigation, propagation, see article blah blah blah...it’s just a lot of academic speech and debate transitions.” “Do I sound like a debater?” “A college debater. Like, the best one, top of the class.” “Do you like it?” “It makes me really hot, yeah. I admire it. I wish I could talk like that.” “You’re a wonderful debater.” “With you.” “What?” “I’m open with you but with people I don’t know then my anxiety takes over and I’m not so sure I should...give my opinion because I might bother someone.” Erwin snorted, “Actually, I forget that you’re much more reserved than I am. I wonder who he’ll be like?” 

Armin shrugged, “Maybe he’ll be his own little person?” Erwin hummed, “I hope he’s like you. Then he’ll be perfect.” Armin blushed and leaned into Erwin.

*  
*  
*

Armin was lost. He was completely lost. He’d gone into the bathroom and when he came out it was like the entire store had shifted. He patted Zev’s back, “Don’t worry, little wolf. I know exactly what to do….” He laughed but it was an anxious false laugh and Zev moved as if he knew it as well. Armin walked around and checked his phone, “Baby, meet me in the lights.” Armin sighed thankful that he now had a purpose and place to head to. “Okay, Zev, let’s take our time and look around.” He admired the neat furniture, moved models, and found himself very calm despite all of the people moving around him. Armin could just be lost and not worry that anyone was even looking at him. 

Erwin however, was waiting and he pushed himself to find him.

*  
*  
*

“Baby, these lights are really neat, don’t you think?” Armins stared, “I love you….but these all look the same.” Erwin tched, “Noooooo….okay, maybe a little.” Armin smirked, “Erwin, what are we doing here?” “Well, we need to get things for our school.” Armin looked at him strangely, “Our...school?” “The Smith Academy.” “OH! Yeah!” Erwin kissed him and went to get a cart after telling him to pick a few out.

Erwin came back quickly, riding on the back of the buggy like a child. “Hey, baby, wanna go for a ride?” Armin snorted, “No, I want this light though.” “Put it in.” “Can….I ride?” Erwin looked at him and then walked around the side with a mischievous look on his face. Armin walked backwards, “Erwin! What are you doing?!” He chuckled and picked Armin up and put him in the buggy, “Watch out for Zev!” Erwin sighed dramatically, “I KNOW!” 

Armin giggled like a child as he was pushed through the isles. They laughed and laughed as Erwin nearly wrecked them into everything, taking corners too quickly, and making bad choices over all. Armin held Zev to him and then suddenly he was crashing into a container of pillows. He looked back, Zev awake but not upset, and saw that Erwin had been tripped by one of their rugs falling off the bottom rack and had landed in a giant display of children’s stuffed vegetables. Armin was dying at the sight of Erwin standing up with a giant tomato on his head and okra on his shirt.

*  
*  
*

”What is that!?” “Falafel….or….not.” “OMG ERWIN LOOK AT ALL THIS FOOD!” “I know, I’m so hungry.” They grabbed food from the belts and paid. Erwin picked some sort of meatballs and pommes (fries) and Armin had curly fries, a chili dog, and some strange white pastry covered in strawberry essence and whatever else, “What is that?” Armin shrugged, “I dunno.” “Why did we get that?” Armin shrugged again, “I dunno, we just got really caught up in the moment and got it.” Erwin smiled and a worker walked over, “Ma’am, we have seat he can use. It’s for infants.” Armin’s eyes were warm, “Really?” “Yes, it’s a carrier and on a stool, you know, for infants in their chest carriers. We want mothers to be as comfortable as possible. You can also breastfeed anywhere in the store.” Armin smiled, “I’d love one but I’ll save the breast feeding for home.”

Erwin rolled his eyes, smirking as the man walked away, “Armin, you’re ridiculous.” “I just let people think what they want.” The chair was brought over and Armin put Zev in it and got out his bottle. He fed him with one hand and ate with his other. Erwin stared at him, “You’re the most beautiful person in the world. I love you so much. I’d be nothing without you, Armin.” Armin blushed, “Shush.” He picked a fry up and put some chili on it while Erwin ate. Armin poked his face with it and giggled. Erwin wiped the chili off and leaned over to kiss him, “You’re my little french fry.” “Oh?” Armin gave him a sly smirk, “Am I?” “Yep, golden and addicting.” “Pssssh you need to control yourself.” “I can’t. Look at those boots you’re wearing. Shit, glad Levi didn’t see you.” “I have a baby and can fit into this outfit. I’m the perfect wife.”

Erwin giggled, “What should we write about?” “Are we writing a book?” “I thought we could. I think that would be neat.” “Is this going to help me graduate?” “I’ll make it help you.” “Oh, you will?” “I’ll just talk to some people….” “Throw some money at them, you know, the Smith way.” “You’re a Smith, baby.” “Oh….sometimes I feel like an Ackermann.” Erwin leaned back, “Well, I’m hurt.” “Ha! Sorry, love. I think Eren feels very Smith sometimes.” Erwin rolled his eyes, “He’s such a puppy dog.” “You’re a big puppy dog.” They smiled and fell into happy content silence.

*  
*  
*

Erwin jumped out from the side of the display and Armin screeched, “ERWIN!” He hit him playfully, “Zev didn’t like that.” “Wanna get this map?” “Yeah! OH LOOK IT’S FROM THE-” “1949 OH HELL YES!” “So, wait, how many kids do you think we need to plan for?” Erwin leaned his head on Armin’s head and hummed, “We’’ definitely have Zev, Nikko, and probably Bellamy. After the truth came out he was Jewish I think they’ll go for the day school too.” “Really?” “I think Maxim and Ilya will play a role in that.” “So, well, um….” “Yes?” “But, when do you want to….cut off our kids?” 

Erwin looked down at Armin, “I didn’t think you wanted to talk about that since Zev has so many problems?” “I…..didn’t but then I thought about it like this. If we don’t have any he’ll think it’s because he was sick. If we only have one then he’ll think it’s because he was sick. If we have three then that’s nice but….” Erwin was freaking out, “But?” “I want four.” Erwin started laughing, “I never thought you would have said that.” “Why?” “Because I really thought that this had made you rethink kids.” Armin stared, “What?”

Erwin stepped back, “I don’t...I’m sorry. I don’t want to ruin our day.” “No, I think that’s nice.” “Wha….?” “You want kids but if this had pushed me too far you weren’t going to make me have more?” Erwin shook his head, “Never, baby.” Armin smiled, “I love you. No, I’m all for more kids but I didn’t know if I’d ever feel that way when we were at the hospital watching him on all those machines.” He leaned down and kissed Zev’s head, “I love you.”

*  
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*

“Omg why did we do this to ourselves?” Erwin was laughing as Armin opened another box. Erwin looked over at Zev who was moving on his blanket happily, “I don’t know what’s GOING ON!” Erwin picked a box up and poured its contents on Armin. Little styrofoam pieces covered him, “WHY WOULD YOU POUR THESE PEANUTS ON ME!?” Erwin cackled, “Because you’re a little peanut.” Armin hit his leg and laughed as he set his pieces out to build his closet or wardrobe or whatever he had picked from the pile of boxes of furniture they were building.

“Baby, let’s see who can finish first.” “Okay.” “Imma take this over here so you can’t see.” Armin snorted, “Okay. Loser.” Erwin whipped his head around, “You’re a LOSER!” He said loudly and turned back around. Armin didn’t saying anything and after a few minutes Erwin kissed his cheek, “I love you.” Armin swatted at him, “Loser!”

*  
*  
*

Armin was snorting, face red, doubled over, “WHA-WHAT IS GOING ON!” He held up boards and showed Erwin how they were warped or cut wrong or just wrong, completely wrong, “HOW DOES THE SHELF EVEN STAY PINNED LIKE THAT!?” He had pinned a shelf between two of the main panels and while it seemed correct to the eye when looking straight on, if one were to look under the shelf they could see a gradual slope and warp of the board till it wasn’t even touching the walls. Erwin was rolling on the floor, “BABY MINE IS SO FUCKING RIDICULOUS.”

He brought Armin to his desk he was building, it was really more of a cubby hole or cubbies with legs, wrapped his arms around Armin’s waist while he held him in front of him, “ERWIN IT’S FINE!” “NOOOOOO BABY LOOK!” From the front the entire table looked great but as they moved around the corner, “ERWIN ONE LEG IS COMPLETELY TURNED AND NOT EVEN! LIKE WHAT! HOW DO I DESCRIBE THAT!” “It’s just an exposed leg with its top covered by no wood of the corner but HOW BABY! IT LOOKS PERFECT AND THE OTHER SIDE IS ON THE LEG!” Armin was crying he was laughing so hard, “This is horrible. This is why we buy already made shit, Erwin. Fuck!” “I should just slice it off.” “NO!” Armin giggle yelled as Erwin smiled, “Yeah just _SLIIIICE_!”

Erwin and Armin moved the furniture into the room they were thinking of making the classroom and after a few more hours they had it finally set up. The table for school work was chic a [ white.](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/92/53/43/925343de4647c6d7177cc3556cad2e2d.jpg) There was a place for[ everything. ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/de/ec/b6/deecb6d148dd7190649ffe0f6f1d3d23.jpg)And Erwin surprised Armin with his own office[ station](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/c6/ed/a5/c6eda529cf0de8d1979acb8f871cd2b1.jpg) he'd set up just for him.

Zev had been so good but now he was fussy and crying to be fed. Erwin and Armin were also hungry but they fed Zev first, “Baby, what you want to eat?” “I want Five Guys like really really bad.” Erwin frowned, “I want that too but I’d have to call it in and then pick it up and I don’t want to leave you.” Zadkiel knocked on the door, “Wow, this is nice. What are y’all arguing about?” They told them their dilemma and Zad waived them off, “I’ll finish feeding Zevka, you two go and have a nice time by yourself and just bring me something back to eat, okay?” Armin stared, “B-but….I’ve never really left him willingly…..” Erwin bit his lip, “Yeah, nor have I.” Zad sighed, “Well, who better to leave him with.” Armin’s eyebrows raised, “Levi, Eren, Marco, I mean I could go on and on.” Zadkiel smirked, “You’ve got the hots for me and it kills you. I’m the best option and you know it.” “Literally, real wolves would be better. At least they’d clean him and raise him right.” “I’m going to rub your cute little nose in my armpit.” “I’m going to cut you in your sleep.” “I’d love it. It’s my kink.” “EW STOP! Here,” he handed Zev over, “don’t fuck it up.”

*  
*  
*

Armin and Erwin walked inside of Five Guys holding hands. “What do you want, baby?” “I want the bacon cheeseburger.” “The little?” “Um, no….and don’t tell Levi I ate this.” Erwin chuckled, “Why?” “Because….we live such a kosher life it hurts.” Erwin laughed louder, “I know, he won’t kiss me if I’ve ate bacon.” Armin giggled, “I will.” “Good. You’re much cuter.” Armin and Erwin ordered and Armin walked over to the 60 flavors coke machine. He got his ice, clicked on the fanta button, chose fruit punch because that was his favorite flavor, and then _Spiiiiiiishhhhhh_. The machine began to spray fanta everywhere.

Armin jumped back laughing anxiously as Erwin laughed at him, “Baby! What did you do!?” Armin squeaked, “NOTHING!” They were both laughing when suddenly ice started to explode from it and Armin got spooked and ran into Erwin, ‘Noooooooooooooooooooo! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? !?!? WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS!?” Erwin was laughing so hard he almost fell, “Baby, you broke it!” “NO ERWIN IT’S A POLTERGEIST MY GOD!” The worker came over and unplugged the machine. They’d been having issues and promised Amrin it wasn’t his fault. Erwin teased him the entire dinner about it regardless. 

They ordered Zad some food and then walked next door to Steel City Pops to get some popsicles for everyone. They got a small cooler across the street and packed them and the food and off they went back to their home.

*  
*  
*

Armin sat in the bath with Zev on his chest covered in Johnson & Johnson’s baby bubbles. Erwin was changing their sheets and when Armin got out he dried them and changed Zev into better clothes. Armin carried Zev around the room as they waited.

“Erwin?” “Yes, baby?” “Let’s do one on the Smiths….” “Um, what?” “A book and the albino kings. I think that would be really cool and it’d be neat for Zev.” “We can’t do it on us specifically because of the Reiss family. However, we can use the loophole Marco used. “ He grinned, very pleased with the topic and continued, “Good idea, baby. Let’s think about it.” Armin smiled and placed Zev in his cosleeper. Erwin laid on the bed with a thud and then Armin’s body was on top of him, “I’m HPV, open up and let me in.” Erwin chuckled, “OH GOD, ARMIN! That’s horrible and not funny.” “Okay, I’m a ghost, let me inside so I can say BOO.” “No, these are horrible pick up lines.” “I’m your husband and I love you, let me cuddle you.” “Now we’re talking.” “I love you.” “I love you, too.”

Armin talked to Erwin a little while longer and then he saw that Zev was asleep and fine. He thought this might be the moment they could have sex. He smiled, “Erwin, wanna have sex?” There was no reply, “Erwin?” A loud snore ripped it’s way out of Erwin’s mouth. Armin pouted, “Shit.” He looked at his poor, tired husband and smiled, “I still love you, though. But, you’re a stupid head who's not getting any head.” He leaned forward and kissed him before resting his head on his chest and falling asleep.


	140. LEA

Eren went to the hospital in Birmingham in order to handle some legal matters. He’d decided to try and make it work regardless of how difficult it all was going to be having two hospitals in different locations. He walked inside and the halls were quiet and nurses and doctors avoided him because they didn’t know what to say. Eren kept walking, coffee in his hand scalding his palm because the little brown cardboard protector had broken and fallen away. _Just like my mothefucking hopes and dreams._

His phone buzzed and he opened it to see it was a call from Mikasa, “Hey.”

”So, you need a date night I hear and we’ve agreed to watch Nikko.”

“Huh?” 

“Oh, David thinks you and Levi need a date night and so do Erwin and Armin. We’re going to pick Nikko up and watch him and Zev.” 

“WITH KEITA?! THAT’S INSANE, MIKASA!”

She snorted, “Um no. One, I’m grown and know my limits. Two, Sasha and Connie are staying with us while their apartment is fumigated.” 

Eren paused, “Why….what happened to their apartment?”

Mikasa laughed, “I dunno. I don’t have the full story.” Keita cried out and she shushed him. Eren laughed, “Way to attend to your child.” Mikasa scoffed, “I am a natural parent. I will not tolerate critiques from others. I am secure. I am woman.” Eren was cackling, “I love how much of a strong bad ass boss bitch you are. I wish I was that confidant of a parent.” She put something like a plate down, “Eren, just agree. David’s working on Levi and it’s going to help if you already agreed.”

Eren agreed and went into the office to meet with a group of men he’d not seen in years and never had wanted to see again in his life time.

*  
*  
*

“Well, if we close then you know…” “I know I don’t think we should but,” “A Jaeger must own the hospital.” “What? I’ve never heard that!” “Your father wrote it in when we were founded. It has to be owned by a Jaeger so you can’t sell it to someone.” “But, I can hire someone to run it?” “Yes, that’s allowed. As long as they meet these requirements.” A list was handed to him and he knew that this was a way to keep a Reiss member from never getting inside of the hospital and his father’s research, “I will look it over but….I need access to my friend’s medical records or at least my father’s personal files.” “We burned that.” “What?” “His orders.” “Fuck.” “Look, you sound like him already.”

*  
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*

Eren stood outside of his old home and took a deep breath. When he walked inside he had to immediately turn away from the living room. They’d had things boxed up but not the basement. He went down stairs and started to search for anything his father might have left him. He’d know that he’d eventually come in search of… _Why are there so many bottles of acid?_

He pushed past them but something annoyed him about them and then he saw it. _The safe._ He tried to break the combination but once again he was foiled by technology. He looked at it like it offended him and soon the bottle of acid behind him made him so uncomfortable he went up stairs into the kitchen. He found a pack of his mother’s cigarettes she kept hidden. She rarely smoked and today as he lit one he wondered if she’d leaned against the counter like this and smoked the same way.

His hand rose to grip the key and then it clicked.

He went back downstairs and used the key to open the safe and a few other ones that he was able to guess the combinations for. He found hard drives, a computer, and paper files. He grabbed them and offered one last look at the bottles before he got back outside and went to the car. The Kirschstein’s house was for sale and he felt the pressure to sell his looking over at it.

Eren was frustrated, really frustrated. Something was bothering him and it was eating at him so he called Armin, “Hey.” 

“Hey...um...did you know that our family was having an intervention?”

“Mikasa informed me.”

“I’m not that happy about it.”

“I mean….me either.”

“David sold Levi on it by saying that it was y’alls early anniversary gift.”

“Wow….That’s bad. I almost forgot my anniversay.” 

“EREN!”

“I remembered the REAL one.”

“Oh, woah...you get kudos for that.”

“But do we really need this?”

Armin hummed, “I think so, actually.”

“How...long since you and Erwin have had sex?” 

There was a very long pause, “Since...February 14th….”

Eren gasped, “It’s APRIL 23RD!” 

Armin was defensive and embarrassed, “WHEN DID YOU HAVE SEX!?”

Eren paused, winded, “I had a hand job….before my birthday.”

Armin and Eren were exploding in a flurry of shit talking, gossiping, and bitching, and they were both flabbergasted that they had succumbed to parenting traps and adulting fears and had forgotten themselves because they were so consumed with their kids. “Do I have wrinkles?” Armin said suddenly, worried. Eren shook his head despite him not being able to see, “No, but if you do get one we’ll just go get botox. I don’t want to let myself go. I don’t want to get old. I don’t want to adult.” “I picked out clothes for Zev for two hours in target the other day. Walked out and forgot milk, a tie for Erwin who was meeting me to pick it up, and I forgot my buggy with things in it before I got to the baby clothes.” “Bruh, I found that buggy and thought, what fool would let this cool shit go? And then i bought all these animal hats for Nikko that Levi gave me a mad insane stare over. I’d never even seen that stare before.” 

“I went to the house.” 

“Oh?”

“There were….why were there so many bottles of acid down there?”

Armin’s blood ran cold, “You’re dad just started bringing them home because someone was stealing them at work and that way he could tag a few and keep track of them if they went missing. He figured it out and I guess he just left those because they’d expired. Well, he told me that they could expire and if they did he couldn’t keep them at the hospital anyway.” Eren hummed, “I guess. I just don’t remember that conversation.” “Naw, you were at practice.” “Okay.”

*  
*  
*

Eren was not feeling this traffic at all and he was not happy about anything right now. He missed his son, he was hungry, HANGRY, and Erwin wasn’t picking up and he needed to talk legalities with him. He was lit and disgruntled today and didn’t understand why. Armin sent him a message asking him to meet them in Montgomery at this place called Blind. It was pronounced “Blend” like the German pronunciation and was a hole in the wall club that he’d never heard of and wasn’t really excited about trying to find it and drive an extra thirty on top of the two hours and thirty minutes he’d already driven today but what the hell.

*  
*  
*

Armin closed the shop for business and threw on his [coat](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/28/a4/68/28a4687ea57df76453427fa050ddf9f8.jpg). He’d grabbed clothes from upstairs in the unfinished bedroom and was now doing his make up in the mirror in the bathroom. Erwin and Levi were taking care of business, whatever that was he didn’t know, and he felt like a mobster’s wife. Zev and Nikko were with Mikasa, David, and Connie and Sasha, he had the photos to prove it and he was trying to feel good about leaving his child alone.

He was listening to Drake when Eren texted him.

“Nope to today. I want to crawl in bed and cry.”

“Noooo! Meet me there. Pwease?”

“BUT at home I can be naked.”

“But at the club you can undress me.”

“*insert permanent three dots of thinking*”

“LOL STAPH!”

“Whatevs….I’ll meet you there.”

Armin went back to his makeup and then Maxim called, “Hey, Armka, I have something that’s for Levi but he’s nowhere to be seen and I heard you were meeting up with him later.” Armin grinned, “Yeah, stop by the shop.” “Okay.”

*  
*  
*

So Maxim was getting drugs for Levi. Armin tried to look disappointed but he couldn’t manage it. He took the bag and then Maxim nicked his head to the side, “Wanna light up a joint?” “Levi doesn’t smoke weed.” Armin said no sure what was going on. Coke was in the bag but weed? “I have weed.” “Ohhhhh, sure. Why not?” Maxim smiled wickedly and they went to the kitchen to open the french doors and smoke.

“You look nice.” He said as Armin leaned against the counters, “You should pull your hair into a high ponytail, leave the bangs messy in your face.” Armin snorted, “Since when did you become a stylis? I’m not complaining. That’s a good idea.” He walked over to the mirror in the kitchen and did so while Maxim smoked and told him about how Ilya was ridiculous and wanted them to go on a vacation together. Armin thought it was sweet, Maxim thought it was a waste.

*  
*  
*

The club was packed and [Armin](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/bc/82/0c/bc820ce461780b4af36eb1640ec9d6b1.jpg) took his jacket off before entering. The sounds of dubstep and strange mixes of metal and rock made his body thump and move to the beats. He drifted among the bodies and found his way to the bar where he shed his fatherly persona and went back to his old self. He drank graciously the drinks bought for him and he entertained conversations with men who just wanted his body and he was happy that they did because it was a boost to his normally covered in spit up and sleep deprived self. 

He danced and danced till he felt something stir in him, a knowing feeling that Eren was there. He looked around and saw [him](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/bc/82/0c/bc820ce461780b4af36eb1640ec9d6b1.jpg) move through the bodies. He met him halfway and Eren looked at him hungrily, “Well, let’s get this started.” Armin smiled and grabbed his hand, “I’ve got stuff, you know?” Eren’s lips grazed his ear, “Mm really?” He purred and Armin moved closer, “Yeah, you can finish my vodka and redbull, too.” He kissed Eren and it was scorching, their lips wet and sloppy, tongues needy. He drank him in and then they broke through the crowd to the bathroom.

Eren's hands ran up and down the back of Armin’s thighs as he leaned on his back, nose at the nape of his neck, teeth biting the soft flesh. Armin bent over snorting a line before leaning back and letting out a deeply held breath, “You're so dominant today.” Eren groaned, “I'm frustrated.” He growled before pushing Armin's dress up more exposing his panties. Armin sighed, “Eren….” “Fuck I just want to rip into you and everyone.” Armin's breath hitched as Eren's hands fondled him roughly and he pushed him further into submission, “It's,” Armin moaned suddenly, “your turn.” Eren leaned over to do another line and they continued like that until the call of the music lured them back beneath the multitude of lights. 

Eren kept Armin tightly in his grasp while they danced and kissed but his inner tensions were rising. 

* * * * * * *

[Erwin](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/7f/a1/2f/7fa12fda1fc719d575036737dfb9d77b.jpg) and [Levi](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/b7/e8/51/b7e85145b9e877a0c6dc7e7ddf0a0445.jpg) parked and prepared themselves for two sad husbands. “They were both so sad. I'm sure they're moping around.” Erwin said sadly, “I don't want my little baby to be sad.” Levi sighed, “Well, this is a good thing…..I think.” He got out and walked inside with Erwin behind him. The music was loud, the bar was packed, and the lights were blinding when the strobe came on. He loved this type of place. He looked around and then he saw him. Eren moved forward quickly and Levi sensed there was definitely something different about his husband. He smirked as he got closer and then suddenly Eren was attacking him, groping him, tongue pillaging his mouth. Eren growled, biting his lip. Levi's knees went weak. When he moved back he knew he was high but still this was intense. 

Armin appeared looking like black velvet sex, “I've got your coke.” Erwin appeared, mouth slightly ajar, “Let's go to the bathroom and do some.”

Levi's lips were almost raw from Eren's kisses. They were now ringing wet from sweat and vodka. Erwin turned up the bottle, hand on Armin's waist as Armin bit his earlobe pressed against him. Armin's ponytail had seduced Erwin thoroughly and his hand moved up to grasp him by it, pulling his head back to kiss him but not before taking another swig of vodka he passed gladly to Armin through their locked mouths. Armin purred, he whined, he gave him bedroom eyes and his hands teased Erwin's body. “Daddy, I'm feeling really hot right now.” He said sensually as he rubbed against his body, lips pouty and eyes wide, “Really hot.” Erwin looked down, voice deep in his chest, “Where?” Armin took his hand and put it between his legs up his sweater sweater dress, baby doll voice laced with sin, “Here.”

Erwin dipped his head down, “I think I can help with that.” He picked him up and went off towards the bathroom. Armin was slung over his shoulder smiling like a fiend as he sang along to the club remix of Du Hast. Eren winked as he saw them go and Levi was lost in the music, body moving sinfully for Eren to oogle. 

Armin slid down, legs around his waist as he pinned him against the wall of the bathroom. Erwin attacked his neck, sucking bruising kisses as his hands smoothed the hem back revealing more nubile flesh for him to see. He liked the boots, they could stay. Armin moaned wantonly as he grinded on Erwin, pulling at his undercut and rolling his tongue eliciting more sounds from Erwin, “No lube, no stretch.” Armin whined, “It'd be too much.” “BUT!” “We got a hotel room. Lube will happen. Just let me touch you and then later I'll fuck you, I'll fuck you into oblivion.” Armin's breathing was labored but he nodded and Erwin's hands flew to his zipper. 

He kissed him roughly and Armin took his fingers and sucked them, “Yeah, baby. Give me that spit. Fuck yes, suck me baby.” Armin batted his lashes, three fingers in his mouth. He was drooling and Erwin was loving it. He choked him, made his eyes water and more saliva run out and around his hand. He pulled out, Armin choking, “Its like you were made for this, baby.” He kissed Armin, hand taking both of their rock hard cocks in his hand and rolling the thick layer of spit on them, gliding his hand and working wonders on Armin’s body.

Armin moaned loudly as Erwin continued to suck on his neck. He shook, body sliding on the wall a bit till Erwin raised him higher, putting the top of his knee beneath his ass. “Erwin,” Armin gasped as he sped up, “I want you to fuck me, please, please fuck me.” Erwin let out a gruff sound, “I am fucking you. Don't be such a greedy little slut, baby.” Armin's breath hitched, “Oh, shit. Erwin, shit.” Erwin covered his mouth as they came, he moaned into Armin's mouth, pushed against him more and then sagged against him, “Fuck, baby. You look so good like this.” Armin wrapped his arms around his neck kissing him hotly, “Mmmm,” he whined, “Fuck me, please.” “At the hotel. Until then, you can suffer like I do most of the time you decide to be stingy.” He chuckled and Armin swatted him, “I'll wreck your life.” Erwin chuckled darkly, wicked and satisfied grin, “Oh, please do, Armin. It fucking satisfies me like nothing else.” He lowered Armin and pulled his dress down. 

When they returned Eren and Levi were making out on the floor of the club, some spectators enjoying their view. Erwin got them all shots of Jäger and they decided to be as reckless and provocative as possible. Eren smiled as Levi leaned into him, his arm around his waist, Levi was his and he loved him and he wanted him. 

They agreed to go get food and as Eren tumbled into the car Levi snorted, “Guess you’re leaving your car?” Eren looked at him and there was something in the way his lips looked, the fire in his eyes that made Levi’s throat dry. He felt like he was being summed up to be eaten. This was different from their normal relationship. Eren was wild, untamed in the way his hand moved up and down Levi’s leg. He swallowed, “What do you want to eat?” Eren smirked and shrugged, “Pot stickers.” Levi nodded and rolled his window down to tell Erwin where to meet them. They drove all the way to the closest food truck but had to park in a parking deck due to the streets being “auto frei” (free of cars). It was Sunday and the German section of the town tried to keep up with the real Germany and no one used their car on Sunday or drove so the streets were safe for walking and biking. 

Eren got out of the car and walked over to Levi’s side. There was something about it that made Levi’s heart beat quicker. He opened the door, “Eren?” Eren attacked him, hands ripping off his tank top. Levi hissed as Eren roughly lifted him out of the front seat and pushed him against the side of the car. He ground against Levi, knocking the breath out of him. Levi’s breath hitched as Eren’s lips covered his again, scorching hot and dripping with lust. 

Levi whimpered slightly as Eren’s hand slapped onto his ass. He bit him, let him down but kept him pinned to the car as he opened the back door. Levi’s face was flushed red, breathing ragged as Eren took him and pushed him into the back. He took his shirt off and left it where Levi’s had fallen by the driver door. He climbed inside, covering Levi who was on his side and pinning him down as he kissed and bit his neck. Levi moaned as Eren’s hands pushed him more on his chest ass up, face on the seat. Levi was in shock. Eren had never been like this with him, ever. He’d taken slight control of their sex before but nothing like this. This literally had him stunned.

Eren growled slightly when Levi bucked like he might try to take control. He pulled the seatbelt from the back passenger side down and tied it around Levi’s hands and arms. He was even more submissive looking this way and it made Eren’s cock leak just looking at him. Levi was panting as Eren ripped his pants down, groan of satisfaction as he laid Levi bare before him. He sat back on his haunches and took a deep breath. Levi was shaking from the situation and the chill in the air when he felt Eren surge forward, hands on his cheeks, and tongue wiggling between them in search of his most private of areas.

Levi’s face was open in a look of utter rapture, sinful, “Ah!” His voice was higher, he whimpered, bucked back on him while Eren’s tongue worked it’s way inside of him. He groaned, eyes rolled back, and a long low string of wanton moans and “Mmmmms” split the silence of the car. Eren groaned, enjoying the taste of Levi. He leaned back looking at him like this and then he fingered him roughly, grabbing the lube that they had in the car from the few times they were only able to meet between lab hours and classes. He lubed his fingers, tongue occasionally replacing them as Levi pushed his face into the cushion, hair obscuring his features. 

Eren pulled his pants down and slid inside of Levi slowly, watching his cock disappear between the white round mounds. He hissed from the heat and tightness and couldn’t control himself from absolutely assaulting Levi. He pushed his face further into the seat, pounded rhythmically into him, and he admired the burns the seatbelt was leaving on Levi’s skin as it rubbed against it.

Levi was moaning like a whore and Eren loved it. He bent over his back, lips by his ear to bite and pull on it. He nuzzled into his neck and kissed and sucked while Levi’s mouth was open and he panted and let loose moan after moan. Eren’s hips pistoned and snapped back and forth harshly, pumping into him. He licked the side of Levi’s face, “I like you like this, face down and ass up.” His voice was darker, gruff, his words harder than he’d ever heard. “I think I’ll have to keep fucking you like this.” He kissed his temple and stuck his finger in Levi’s mouth, pulling to the side, hooking it. Levi shuddered, coming hard and Eren was following him. He seized up, keeping his eyes open to watch Levi as he came undone.

It had been much quicker than they’d thought. Eren removed himself first. Panting and tucking himself back inside, “I need to piss.” Levi was still trying to catch his breath when he thought about his hands, “I need you to untie me.” Eren looked at him, “I should take photos of you like this, ass full of come and debauched.” Levi’s spine tingled, he shuddered. Eren stepped out of the car, pissed behind the car and grabbed their clothes.

He untied Levi, handed him his things and then they saw the look of headlights. Erwin pulled up beside them and Armin stepped out, “We went to the wrong deck.” He giggled, “Twice...sorry.” 

Eren smirked and Armin kissed him, whispering, “You got any lube? I do NOT want to get to the room and there be none. I will fucking cut a bitch.” Eren smirked, “I've got lube.” Armin winked, “Sounds like you might have already used it?” Levi's arms were red striped and burned. Erwin looked at them with a look of confusion, “Well, ain't that something….” Levi was silent, still in shock. They went to get food and ate sitting on the curb talking and laughing. 

* * * * * * *

Armin and Eren sat in the car together having abandoned Erwin's since they were all now more drunk than before. Levi and Erwin were now at the ABC store buying more drinks before they went to to hotel room. Armin's hands smoothed his hair back as he looked at Erwin through the glass front of the store, “I want to suck that cock so bad.” He said it softly, longingly and Eren nodded, “Me, too.” “Hands off till I get my fill. You had sex already.” “You got a hand job.” Armin turned to him, “Have you met me?” Eren snorted, “Yeah, I have. I should have fucked you instead when we were in the bathroom and your little panties were exposed leaned over the counter.” Armin raised an eyebrow, “You’re much more aggressive than ever before. Are you okay?” “Can't I just be aggressive sexually tonight?” Eren said matter of fact, “Can't I just fuck until I'm numb?” Armin moved closer to him, “Yeah,” he laid his head on his shoulder, “I get it.” “Let me finger you.” “‘Bout time someone fucking did.” He opened the lube and Armin kissed him three times on his pouty lips, “Give them a show.” “Always.”

*******

“Armin.”

“What?” 

“That face….is not cute.”

“I’m in pain.”

“Not gunna lie, you’re so tight you’d probably cut my dick off if I put it in you.” Eren chuckled and Armin hit him on the shoulders.

“Shut the fuck up and stretch me!” Armin was in his lap, straddling him, dress over the top of his round ass cheeks while Eren’s fingers moved inside of him slowly. Lube shined under the light that drifted in from outside in the parking lot. Armin leaned down to kiss him and they made out while Armin slowly stretched and became more inviting to cocks around the world. Eren giggled at that thought and Armin bit him, “STOP THINKING WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU ARE THINKING!”

***************

When Levi and Erwin walked up to the car Erwin stopped with his hand on the door, other arm full of brown bags of alcohol, “I told Armin I couldn’t fuck him till we got lube at the hotel because he’s not been stretched in so long and this is the reason for the hell we are about to enter.” Levi gave him a confused look and then opened his door, sounds of moans escaping from the back seat. He widened his eyes, “Oh shit. Smells like teen spirit.” Erwin chuckled, “Smells like adults gone wild.” “ _Parents gone wild._ ” “Fuck, we’re too sinful to be parents.” “Tell me about it.”

Armin was rocking back and forth on three of Eren’s fingers while kissing him sloppily, messily, and roughly. Eren gave his bottom a spank and Levi and Erwin found it very difficult to concentrate as they finished driving to the hotel. But Levi, he often turned just to watch and Erwin pouted, “Not fair. If I look I’ll wreck.” Levi chuckled and pinched Erwin, “Don’t be so needy.” Erwin smiled and grabbed his hand. However, his good mood changed when he heard Armin unzip Eren’s pants, “Don’t fuck with me. I get to fuck you first, no one else. Understand, baby?” Levi smiled wickedly, “Oohhh,” he rolled his shoulders, “Bad vibrations.”

Armin smiled sweetly as he looked over his shoulder, “Then hurry up and get me to the hotel, daddy. Or I’ll be bad.”

************

Erwin stripped his jacket and shirt off when they were inside of the hotel room. He stalked forward as Armin, who’d entered before him, coly took steps back until he reached the wall. Levi and Eren were entering, shutting the door and placing the bottles of liquor and mix on the side table. Levi and Eren exchanged hot glances. Levi didn’t know what had gotten into Eren but it had gotten inside of him and he wanted more. He pushed Eren against the table and kissed his neck all over as Eren stretched into him and closed his eyes, sighing.

Erwin’s hands were on Armin’s hips as his lips covered his. He grabbed the ponytail and gave it a pull. Armin’s eyes were open and pupils dilated. He rolled his head to the side, “Fuck me.” Erwin gave him a slap. Armin’s body shuddered and Erwin grinned as he dominated him, “That was for that display in the car. Get on your knees, little slut. You’ve got to work for it.” Armin dropped to his knees, face turned up towards Erwin as he gently ran his hands up towards Erwin’s fly. He pulled it down slowly, moving his head forward and pushing his face against the cotton briefs containing Erwin’s rock hard length.

He opened his mouth around the form inside of the cloth, breathing his warm breath on the fabric and dampening it. He smelled Erwin and groaned. Erwin was impatient and grabbed his hair, pulling his briefs down and forcing his cock between willing and parted lips. He hissed as the heavenly sensation of Armin’s mouth, hot heat around him. He fucked into him relentlessly. Armin’s non-existent gag reflex nearly appeared as he barely gave him any time to catch his breath. His face was covered in tears and his makeup smudging. Erwin could hear groaning somewhere behind him and it was all so hot and heady it didn’t take long before the slight sensation of teeth, the twisting and bobbing of Armin’s talented mouth when he let him take control had him on the edge of coming. He pulled out before he could come, cock bright red and swollen. Armin looked confused when he gripped him by the hair and pulled him up and walked him over to the bed.

He threw him stomach down on the edge, hiked his dress up and ripped his panties down. Erwin smelled them, tossed them over to where Levi had Eren pinned to the floor, a sleek sheen of the gun made him take pause but Levi was grown and if gunplay was what it was going to take for him and Eren to let off some steam then have at it. He leaned over Armin, “You want me to fuck you, little slut?” Armin nodded, “Yes, please fuck me. Please.” “You want this cock?” “I want your fucking cock, daddy. I want daddy’s cock. Please give it to me.” He grabbed his ponytail and pulled him back, curving his back into a C as he slid inside of him, hips off the edge of the bed before Armin moaned low and sinfully.

Erwin pounded into him, hitting his prostate. Armin whinned and groaned when Erwin went even harder, “You like that little bitch?” “Yeeees. Yee-eeesss.” “You want more?” “Ye-es!” “I’ll fuck you harder, baby. You’re such a tease and teases get spankings.” He slapped Armin’s right buttocks and gripped his hair tighter. Armin was blabbering as Erwin fucked him to completion. He was seizing up, shuddering, clenching down on his cock and bringing him over the edge. Erwin pushed as deeply into him as possible, “Fuck, baby.” Armin whimpered, neck stretched to the limit as his head was still wrenched backwards. He admired the pale milky curve of it before he released him.

They tried to catch their breaths as Levi and Eren finished their play.

Levi had prepared himself to deal with a dominant Eren. He didn’t mind it, loved it actually, but the thought of making that belligerent of a person submit made him hotter. He decided to play a wild card.

Eren had tried to take control of their kiss again and Levi let him think he was in control till Eren tried to force him back into submission. He pulled back and kicked his leg out from under him. Eren was on the floor when Levi pulled the gun on him, “I don’t think so, cadet.” Eren’s eyes were full of fire. He kicked him down too and struggled to take control of the gun till Levi pistol whipped him. It wasn’t as bad as normal but Eren bleed nonetheless. “Get on your knees, cadet.” Eren moved up to his knees as Levi took a seat in the chair. He moved him between his legs when Levi moved forward grabbing the panites thrown his way and made quick work of tying Eren’s hands behind his back, “Now there, don’t you look like a pretty little cadet bitch. You like to suck cock boy?” Eren pulled away when he tried to caress his face. The gun was pressed to the side of his face, “The safety isn’t on. This isn’t a game, cadet.”

Eren’s cock ached but he wasn’t feeling like being the submissive. He recoiled and Levi cocked the gun. His body shook because it was possible there was a bullet inside. He’d just heal if he was shot. They’d hurt him badly before and knew he’d heal without fail. He watched as Levi revealed himself and pushed his head towards his cock, “Suck me off, bitch.” Eren felt dirty and so good as he took his cock and sucked him well. He felt the metal against his neck and it chilled him and made him want Levi even more. He bobbed off and Levi made him stop, “Lick it.” He held the gun up to his mouth and Eren looked at it and back to Levi. Never breaking eye contact he licked up and length of the gun and Levi smiled. “Really put on a show, cadet.” He hit him with the gun again when Eren gave him a defiant look. He forced the barrel into his mouth and then he made him suck it like he had his throbbing cock. Levi loved Eren like this, “Weak bitch, this is all you're even good for.” He removed the gun and Eren's mouth was red and covered in saliva. Levi took out a bullet from his pocket and put it in the gun. Eren’s eyes widened and then his entire body shook from the weight of that.

Armin was moaning and it was driving him insane, his body ached. Levi smirked, “I think I’m going to fuck you as roughly as you fucked me, cadet. You’re going to learn a lesson about disobeying your superior.” He pushed him back onto his cock, his lips swallowing and stretching as he felt the gun go back to his neck. He gave the best blow job of his life, as if his life counted on it, and maybe it did? He didn’t mind when Levi came over his face or when he kicked him to the ground and made him try and get up on his own. Eren didn’t mind when he cut his shirt off of him with his knife and carved words of degradation into his skin. He didn’t mind when his pants were pulled off and he was flipped on his stomach and spanked till he bruised. All he cared about was where he drug that cool dangerous metal on his skin.

Levi’s voice was in his ear, “I’m going to fuck you with this gun. You don’t mind do you, cadet? You’re not even a person. You’re just one in a series. You mean absolutely nothing, this gun is what means something. Men come and go but metal remains and there will always be mass graves paid for and receipts of gun purchases to back it up because blood and bone alone cannot save you from the hellfire.” 

Levi sat back and let the lube run between Eren’s cheeks before he inserted one finger roughly fucking him while he squirmed, “You’re so weak, absolute filthy shit. You disgrace the entire squad cadet Jaeger.” That really angered Eren when he called him cadet Jaeger. He hissed and tried to kick Levi. Levi tched, “You shouldn’t have done that, cadet Jaeger. I’ll make you scream you worthless titan fodder, you maggot.” He forced another finger in and before he was really ready another on. Eren was in pain but it felt so good and he was worming around on the floor pathetically. 

Eren heard the gun go off safety and then it was there, coming inside of him. He was getting fucked by a loaded gun and he was turned on and scared he thought he might piss or come or both.

Levi fucked him roughly, watching passively as Erwin pinned Armin back on the bed, dress discarded but boots still on. Armin was so small in comparison and Erwin's hand covered his neck, “You're a dirty little whore, aren't you baby?” He added pressure and Armin bucked, “Yes, yes daddy.” Levi's cock ached and he kept fucking Eren as roughly as possible, hand squeezing the base of Eren's cock so he couldn't come. Eren gritted curses through his teeth and groaned as Levi played with the angles of the gun, “You've got a greedy asshole, cadet Jaeger. You were made for this.” Eren moaned slightly, “Oh, yes, I knew you were a needy little bitch, a greedy little whore. You like to try and take shit you think you deserve. You don’t deserve me, Jaeger. You merely inherited me as your captain, your owner, your own personal devil.”

He removed the gun flipping Eren on his arms and back. Eren gave him a definite look. Levi slapped him, forced his legs apart and slammed into him laughing at Eren’s face of discomfort. He took one hand and started to choke Eren while he held the gun up to and the later inserted into his mouth. He fucked Eren into the coarse carpet and insulted him the entire time knowing that Eren loved every second of it. Eren was teetering on pleasured and terrified and he loved it, loved how rough this was, how intense Levi was being, how Armin sounded as Erwin threw him around on the bed and the gruff sounds Erwin let loose. He was in sinful paradise.

He came and Levi insulted how weak he was, worthless, no stamina, a perfect example of a cadet ready for slaughter. When he came he collapsed on top of Eren, panting. Eren groaned and Levi smirked, “We should rename you Cadet Cumdump.” Erwin chuckled and Levi smiled wickedly, “Oh, yes, we have a second on the name.”

Erwin had Armin on his back, legs spread open when he picked him up into his lap and sat Armin back down on his cock. Armin moaned at how full he was and Erwin’s hand pulling on his hair drove him crazy. He bruised his ass as he kneaded roughly and pounded up into him. His eyes were glassy and open as he lost himself in Erwin’s powerful persuasive sexual manner. “You’re my baby.” He gritted out and Armin’s mouth fell open, unable to breath properly as each thrust knocked the breath out of him. He sucked and kissed Armin’s collar bones, “ _Mine._ ” Armin gasped at a particularly hard thrust, “Yes, yours. I’m all yours.”

Erwin smiled smugly into his skin, “But, not for long because you disgust me.”

Armin slapped him, catching him off guard, “Because really at the end of the day you’re just a back up. You’re so soft now. I belong to the old Erwin, the strong one, the better one. No one even likes who you’ve become least of all me.” He pulled away and Erwin’s hands circled his wrists, “Armin!” Armin fought against him trying to break free. He knew Erwin loved when he struggled. He flipped them, Armin’s legs on either side of his hips. He rolled his hips, “I’m only pity fucking you.” Erwin whimpered as Armin sharply cut to the sides.

”In fact, I’d rather have been fucked with the gun.” Erwin was on fire at that comment. It was one thing when Armin brought Levi up away from him but being in the same room. Levi snorted, “Not too late, mami.” Erwin growled, sitting up and crashing their lips together. He bit Amrin as Armin clawed him. When Armin pulled away, “Now that’s more like it.” Erwin flipped them and Armin gasped as he changed angles and soon they were coming together, limbs tangled and mouths moving against each other with hisses and curses.

Both couples laid together in their respective spots, bodies boneless and sated. They drank more, laughed, fucked, the sun was coming up when Erwin grabbed Armin and pulled him into the bathroom, lips on his neck and hands on his hips, “I love you, Armin.” Armin smiled, “I love you, too.” “Can we make soft love at the house when we get back?” Armin laughed shortly, blushing, he was touched, “I would really like that.” They stood in the shower together just holding one another when Levi and Eren moved inside, “Um, get out.” Erwin laughed, “NO.” “Eren will fart on you.” Armin turned around. “I’ll fart on Eren.” “Baby….you don’t fart.” Armin turned around to face him, “Oh yeah, you’re right.” Levi burst into laughter, “Everyone farts.” “Armin!” Eren began, “YOU TOTS FART AND POOP!” Armin gasped, “DON’T SPREAD SUCH LIES! NOT IN FRONT OF MY HUSBAND!”

They all laughed as Eren farted on the Smiths and it turned into a Smith Ackermann fart war in their bed after getting clean and drinking some water. “We shouldn’t have done drugs.” Armin said suddenly, “Because we should have just had sex and then immediately started sleeping.” Eren whistled, “So fucking dumb, we are so dumb. We’re going to be coke hung over with children.” They all groaned and prepared for the massive headaches.

*  
*  
*

They walked out in the parking lot and groaned, “Whose car is where?” Armin pouted, “I want a happy meal.” Erwin stared, “I want a new head.” Levi and Eren were holding hands, “My asshole hurts.” Eren snorted, “Sorry.” “I’m going to get revenge, Eren. You’ve hurt my shit routine.” Eren looked at Amrin and made an “Eeek” face while Armin smiled, “We’re gonna see our babies soon!” They all smiled.

*  
*  
*

A few days later they’d all had more loving sex, recovered from their Jaeger night and gone on a few dates here and there. Mikasa and David let them watch Keita and Levi smothered him with affection that made them all envious. Nikko was smiling more, Zev was moving more, laughing occasionally to Armin and Erwin’s gless. Bellamy was the delight and comic relief of them all. But it wasn’t so good when Mila came with Hanji and she saw that Levi was preoccupied with other children.

”LEEEEEVEEEEEE!” She sobbed and Hanji tried to soothe her, “LEEEEEEEEEEEVEEEEEEEEEEE!” She was so upset that Levi was nearly brought to tears. “Mila! Milaaaa! Nooo, sweetness please don’t cry.” “HAH-OH-WD MEEEEE!” Levi had Nikko and was feeding him. He looked like he might actually die, “Mila Pamellah, I can’t hold you right now.” “WHY!?” Levi leaned towards her tear stained face, “Mila, this is Nikko. Do you remember?” She shook her head, “Mila, you’re your momma’s baby, right?” She looked at Hanji and back to Levi, “Momma.” She pointed to Hanji and Levi nodded, “And you have a daddy? Do you have a daddy?” She shook her head yes, “Well, Mila, I’m his daddy.” 

She looked devastated, “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Levi looked at Hanji and Hanji tried her best, “Nikko is what you are to me but to Levi. He’s his daddy. He loves you and he loves Nikko. But, Nikko is special to Levi like you’re special to me.” She screamed, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO LEEVEEEEE!” Eren and Armin were nearly in tears watching the scene before them, “This is literally like Sophie’s choice. I AM DYING.” Eren covered his eyes while Armin wiped a tear, “She’s just so heartbroken.” Erwin was feeding Zev while Keita slept beside him, “Can….one of you take one of these children from me?” Armin looked over, “Um but you’re the most adult.” “I’m scared….two is so much.” “But, we’re going to have four kids….” “So….you should help me and take one because we both need practice.”

Erwin smiled knowing his logic was sound. Armin hummed, “Nope.” He frowned and Eren laughed before Mila screeched and the babies all started to cry along with Levi and Hanji who were first row spectators to the hardest conversation in the world to watch.

*  
*  
*

”What is this?” Levi held the receipt up and stared at Erwin. His eye twitched and Armin and Eren both knew that was never good. Erwin lowered his paper, “I have no idea, habibi.” The scary vein in Levi's neck became purple. Eren raised his pillow to cover his chest and the bottom of his face. Armin out the blanket over his head and wrapped it around him only leaving his eyes exposed, “It's for a plane, Erwin.” Levi hissed and Erwin’s eyes did nothing more than to open wider and blink innocently, “Oh, that? Okay.” He picked his paper back up and Levi shook, “What on earth possessed you to buy a plane!?” Erwin gave him a disappointed look, like he had expected more of Levi, “Because it made sense.” “Why!?” “Because we needed one.” “Why would we EVER need a plane?!” Erwin sighed, “Because,” he stated simply, “we're plane people.”

Levi stared, exploding, “One day, Erwin Smith, I'm going to take all of your money away from you and then **BLOW** you up with my mind!” Erwin slammed the paper down huffing, “Levi!” Levi gritted his teeth, “Take. IT. BACK.” Erwin leaned back rolling his eyes, “I can't.” Levi made a sound like an alley cat about to fight, “YES. YOU. CAN. Take it back to,” he looked at the receipt, “Planes f Glory. Fuckin shitty ass name.” Armin giggled slightly and quickly stopped when Levi cut his eyes at him, “Yeah, this is why you're his husband.” “Levi, I can't take it back. I've customized it.” “What?!” “I named it.” “WHAT!?” “LEA. For Levi, Eren, Armin.” Levi paused, “Oh! YOU ASSHOLE YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!” Erwin demurred, “Neeeever.” Levi scoffed and left while Erwin smirked smugly and Eren and Armin died from how cranky and in love they were with one another before asking to go see the plane. 

They were one big happy family with a plane. God, they were sickening.


	141. Graduation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Super smol chapter

Erwin felt like a cat that finally caught the mouse! He smirked as he looked at the paper before him and let out a slow low laugh that crescendoed into a full diabolic smug laced laugh that made his office partner at the school lean over his desk and look around their partition, “Dude….that was so….Roman’s breeching Jerusalem. You’re giving me historical evil here. Why?” Erwin grinned, “My Levi, you know, the short angry guy?” “Oh yeah, you and your husband live with him and his husband, right?” “Yes, well, he is a very secretive person and I love to uncover and reveal secrets.” “You’ve been with him a long time. Is there any secrets left to find out?” “Oh yes, and this one has been a long time coming.” Erwin started to laugh again and his office mate smiled, “I’d hate to be him.” 

*  
*  
*

Eren was changing Nikko while watching a youtube video of a delivery. He was trying his best to expedite his schooling and get certified so he could open his practice or better, break ground on it. He was taking shifts, leading cohorts and more lately and he was tired. Nikko and Levi were his only thoughts and he missed them all the time. Erwin burst through his nursery door, “HONEY! HA-OH-NEE!” Erwin kissed Eren and pulled him into a loving embrace. His hand squeezed Eren’s bottom making him laugh loudly, “Erwin, omg, what?!” Erwin was really excited, “You know your husband has five degrees, right?” 

Eren blinked, “Or more you know. I can’t ever keep up.” “EXACTLY!” Erwin listened to Nikko fuss and picked him up, “Oh, my tiny Levi, love me, love me so much it makes him explode.” Eren smiled, “Nikko is tiny Levi but really uncranky. He’s never cranky and he loves Zev.” Erwin smiled and gave him a big kiss, “But, anyway honey. I’ve been trying to track down his graduation date and finally I got it.” Eren gave him an amused look, “What? Why would you have to track it down?” “Because he has never ever once walked to receive his degree. He has been honored in Germany, in France, in Israel even! But, he has never had a graduation!”

Armin came inside with a freshly washed Zev, “I wasn’t invited to your graduation for your bachelors…” He gave him a stern look and Erwin smiled his commander smile, neither admitting guilt nor denying it. “Baby, I walked but I invited no one. I knew I needed to walk at least once and then I had a dinner. But you know, for me, it’s different.” Armin raised an eyebrow and walked over patting Zev’s back while he laid on his shoulder and put his fist in his mouth. “How is it different?” Erwin smelled Nikko, “Because I’m personable.” Armin’s eyes widened and his eyebrows raised, “You’re somethin’ alright.” Eren snickered, Armin warned them “But, we should understand that he’s like this because of how he was raised.”

Erwin shrugged, “I think, and I beleive you think it too, he needs the experience.” Armin looked at Eren and then back at Erwin, “This is all I’m going to say: I think you just want to throw him a party and make a big deal about him.” Erwin smiled wickedly, “What on God’s heavenly green earth is so wrong with that?” Eren smiled mischievously, “I’ll help.” “Good. And baby, don’t ruin it.” Armin scoffed, “Hurtful. I’ll be an angel.” 

*  
*  
*

Levi knew something was up because Erwin just hovering around him with this smug look on his face. Levi kept everything private from Erwin that he could and that wasn’t a lot. He couldn’t understand what was going on with him or Eren for that matter. Eren was always meeting with Erwin and Armin seemed to be, uncharacteristically so, absent of information. He watched as his family slowly started to become skittish and secretive. He tried what he could to get information.

He read their hashtags for clues, ran some algorithms on their posting times, kept a mental timeline of their texting habits to one another and tried to read the texts when Eren was busy but it seemed they were talking in code.

He was walking in Whole Foods with Nikko in his chest carrier and walked up and down the isles when he ran into Petra and Eld, “Hey!” Levi blinked, “Hello.” Petra’s big eyes were full of emotion, “OH LOOK AT HOW BIG HE IS NOW!” Levi smiled, “He’s getting really big.” Eld smiled, “I saw Erwin’s son the other day and he’s a little chunk, isn’t he?” Levi gave a short laugh, “He’s going to be huge like Erwin. David’s son, Keita, is the same way. They’ll be really big guys.” Petra have Nikko a short one over of his features, “God, he looks like you.” Levi filled with pride, “I’m honored. I’d say he looks much better than me.” 

They spoke shortly and Levi invited them over one night for dinner. Petra gave him a small hug and Eld shook his hand, “Is that before or after the thing on the 5th?” Eld said and Petra looked like she could kill him, “What thing?” Petra sighed, “Eld’s getting our commitments confused. We’ve got an event to go to and the address was similar sounding to y’alls so he’s been thinking we’re going over to your house for like two weeks. I mean, I guess we’re all just getting old and our brains are not working anymore.” Petra laughed and Eld shrugged, “I mean, all the roads around her sound the same.” Levi gave a short bark of laughter, “True that, man. See y’all later.”

Levi went on shopping, whispering to Nikko in Yiddish. He kissed him, asked his opinions on certain brands, “What do you want to smell me cook tonight? Hmmm? Borscht is what I should make since everyone is being so strange but Max and Ilya would like that. Zad, too. He’s a strange man. Like your aba. I’m strange.” He smiled a little too himself, “but don’t tell anyone, okay? It’s our secret.”

When he got home Armin was cutting vegetables, “I’m making stew but it’ll be for lunch tomorrow.” Levi smiled, “That’s fine. I’m going to make potato kugel casserole, shakshuka, and I have an apple cake that I’d love your help with because Eren just can’t seem to handle fruit and baking well.” Armin smiled, “Sounds like we’re going to have issues pooping.” “One should already be regular and prepared for pooping.” “I love you, Levi.” “I love pooping.”

*  
*  
*

Mila bounced in her mother’s lap, sippy cup hanging out the side of her mouth when Mike walked inside, “Baby girl, are you ready to go to the farm with me?” Hanji turned around and around in her chair while Mila squealed. Nikko watched in fascination. He really liked Mila but she could not stand him. It killed Levi because she was so jealous of Nikko and didn’t want him to even look at his son. Hanji was working on it with her, he knew that. But, he had expected that she’d probably love him and think he was neat. She loved Bellamy, was best buds with him. She loved Zev and thought he was a storybook baby. But, Nikko? Nope, he was her archenemy.

“You realize that she hates him because you spoiled her so bad, right?” Hanji said and Levi sighed, face on the table, “But,” “Noooooooooooooope! No buts.” “I thought they’d….I don’t know.” “She literally leaves him out of pictures. I am worried. I took her to a counselor.” “What!?” “I needed to make sure for my own sanity that this was normal jealousy that would fade, Levi. I can’t have her drawing pictures of people or not and putting curses on them.” “That is literally the most Lithuanian shit you have ever said.” “Oooo,” she grimaced, “I don’t like that.” “It’s your blood that speaks. You can’t change it.” “Well, they say it’ll clear up when she’s probably five or six.” “WHAT?!” “They said it’s a really severe case.” 

“I wanted them to get married.” Hanji barked a short laugh, “That’s probably going to be more likely Bellamy than Nikko. You don’t marry your enemy. You don’t marry your main Levi competition. Nope.” 

Levi looked so sad, “But…” Hanji smiled, “Plus, he might not even like her and maybe he’d like Zev or men or no one. It’s not that important. They’re still just kids.” Levi pouted, “Shut up, Hanji.” She cackled, “You were really hoping they’d wed.” “I’m crushed at the possibility of them not.” “Well, get crushed bro.” * * * 

Levi and Nikko were having tummy time when Erwin came by with such a strange aura that Levi couldn’t ignore it. “Erwin, what’s going on lately?” Erwin stopped, “Nothing.” “Are you sure?” “Nothing.” Levi thought about it more, “YOU FUCKING BOUGHT SOMETHING!” Erwin sputtered, “Psssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh never!” Levi stared, “I swear to god if you fucking bought something expensive and stupid again I will fuck you up.” Erwin promised he hadn’t and turned his statements over to prove it. Levi was still suspicious.

A few minutes later Eren appeared with Nikko, “Levi, Nikko and I were talking and he let me know that you’re graduating on the fifth.” Levi stared, “No.” “Yes.” Eren pulled Nikko closer to his face, “And he’s so excited to see his aba graduate he almost can’t stand it.” “No.” “Yes.” “No.” “Yes, we are both so excited to see you graduate on the fifth at five O’clock. And don’t worry about getting your robes.” He walked over to their closet and came back with the black robe, his cordes, his cape, his hat. Levi started to itch.

“No.” “Yes.” “No, Eren.” “Yes, for Nikko.” “No.” “Why would you say no to your child? What pain you cause him in his heart. He is devastated, he’s absolutely distraught at the thought of not witnessing his beloved father graduate and set such an example. Do you want that he never seea a graduate and knows that there are such people who exist and do such remarkable things? You want that he not know you are one of these remarkable people? Should we just put him in public school and or better yet, in a closet for the rest of his life? Should we deny him the ability to read so he doesn’t try to foolishly become one of these people? You seem very ashamed of these accomplishments. He only wants to support you and build his own dreams. He loves you, he’s _obsessed_ with you. I love you. I’m obsessed with you! Why hurt us like this?” 

Levi stared, mouth slightly open, “Um…” _oh shit, he’s reached top level yiddish yentel. I’m powerless against this. I don’t even know what this is. OH God, I’m married to this._ “I just…” “Just hate us? Are ashamed of us? Aren’t obsessed with us?!” Eren pouted, giving him a hard guilt inducing stare. “Okay….I’ll do it.”

*  
*  
*

Levi pulled at the hot plastic like fabric as he sat bored through the ceremony. He was not into such things at all but he did want to set a good example for his son. He’d told Eren he could come with Nikko but for some reason his entire family was there and they were embarrassing him with their hooting and hollering and their flash photography. 

He walked on stage to get his diploma and Eren and Erwin were yelling so loud he was turning red. He hoped they weren’t waking the babies. He hoped they were satisfied with this and would leave him alone from now on.

Jean made a shirt with his face on it. It said Captain Flower crown and he had one on him that was pink. He was embarrassed. 

*  
*  
*

“What the actual fuck.” Mariachi music played from the band in the foyer. The back yard was pointed to by streamers that had skeletons and sombreros. There were tables of party supplies, the animals were running around, and the house was full. “EREN!” Eren was quick to throw Erwin under the bus, “ERWIN DID THIS!” “I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!” Erwin led them out to the back yard where the band followed and all of their friends were. Drinks, food, and a banner that said “congratulations Levi” greeted him along with cheers. Levi was sour and felt like he’d had one more private thing taken from him due to Erwin’s insistent probing.

Bellamy and Mila were brought up to him by Hanji and Marco. “These guys have something for you.” Levi stared and two cards were produced. Bellamy had drawn what was supposed to be Levi smiling holding a book with a bag of some sort. “This looks like,” he was tickled abd chuckled, “a clostamy bag.” “That bag is a pack of the fruit snacks you got him. Jean and I were very confused but he told Ilya in Ukrainian about it. Thank God.” Levi inspected the card again and looked at Bellamy, “Spasiba Bellka.” Bellamy got shy and hid his face in Marco’s shoulder.

He turned to Mila who wanted him to hold her. He took her gladly and she showed him her card. It was Levi as a sunflower and he was holding her hand and their families were beneath them, “You and Mila are in the sky.” Hanji said slowly, smiling, “and us peons are on the earth.” Levi lost his shit laughing so hard, “OH! I have corrupted her most thoroughly.” She was laughing too when Mike came and held her from behind, “Did you tell him?” “No, I was explaining the card.” “Tell me what?” “About what Mila said.” “What did she say?” “She packed her suitcase this morning, her play one, told us she was going to see you.” Levi smothered Mila with kisses and then Bellamy who smiled and hugged Levi’s neck tightly. He had two toddlers and was very happy.

He ate, danced, opened a few cards and then at the end he sat on the couch in the back with Nikko and Eren while everyone swam and talked about how much they like him. He’d never been so flattered or felt so awkwardly loved in his life. * * * 

Later that night Levi put Nikko in his crib with Mila in her bed. There were a lot of people sleeping over since they drank and the night was late. He checked on Armin who had Zev in his cosleeper in their bed and was sound asleep. He’d given him a kiss and a book and apologized for keeping the secret. He loved Armin. Zad was walking to his room and gave him a card. He seemed sincere and Levi appreciated the kindness. David, Mikasa, and Keita were fast asleep in their old room and Maxim and Ilya were collapsed outside on the patio furniture. Jean and Marco put Bellamy to bed and they were in their room smiling in their sleep. His heart loved the sight.

But, he was missing someone. Eren was in their room passed out and everyone else had gone home. He went down to the living room and found a shirtless, somewhat drunk, Erwin. He walked over to him, “You’re a controlling asshole.” Erwin turned his head slowly, smiling smugly, “But I have good intentions.” Erwin smiled as Levi moved to sit in his lap, “You planned a party, put my husband up to guilting me, made your husband swear secrecy, you broke into my email and confirmed my spot for walking, you had your teaching assistants pick up my robes and book vendors for this party, and you bribed Zackley to keep me on at the lab as a professor. You are a bull that plows through anything in it’s way.”

Erwin shrugged and Levi took his face between his hands, “You must really love me, Erwin Smith.” Erwin smiled dashingly, his pretty white teeth blinding, “I love you more than words, Lee.” They kissed lovingly for a while until Erwin pulled back chuckling.

Levi gave him a confused look, “Why are you laughing?” “Because I just thought about you as a giant sunflower!” Levi hit him, “Shut up!” Erwin laughed, “You’re more like a sourflower than a sunflower!” “I WAS THE MOTHERFUCKING SON YOU ASSHOLE!” Erwin cackled, “EVEN MORE HARD TO BELIEVE!” Levi and he wrestled playfully until Erwin pinned him on the couch covering his face with kisses, “Thanks for existing, Lee.” Levi rolled his eyes, “Thanks for being a controlling asshole, Erwin.”

Eren and Armin found them in the morning on the couch in one another’s arms, Donner beneath them with his tail thumping on the floor.

“They’re ridiculous.” Eren and Armin smiled and went to make coffee and feed their sons.


	142. Doctors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smol chapters continued....

Eren looked at the email and groaned. He called Levi, “Can you…...come with or just take Nikko on your own to get his shots?” Levi exhaled sharply, “When, ahuvi?” “Today at 11:00.” Eren said slowly, innocently, pleaded with his voice’s tone. Levi groaned, “Don't try to play frail housewife with me. No, not today. I have a surgery and Hanji needs assistance till then.” Eren’s head thudded on the table, “Eren, you'll break that shitty head of yours and then who will take him?” “But I don't waaaaana!” He kicked his legs under the desk. 

Levi frowned, “Why?” Eren did sound pitiful, “Because he'll cry!” “Babies cry, ahuvi.” “But! I'LL BE THERE WHILE HE CRIES AND IS HURT! YOU SAW ARMIN!” “I saw Armin take his son when Erwin had to travel to the doctors all by himself, endure it, and then pick up the pieces of his sadness with a happy meal. I saw a strong parent and that's in you too, ahuvi. You are just as capable as Armin.” Levi sat back and thought that had been a really good pick me up speech, “But….Levi…” He sighed and talked with him a little longer trying to soothe him with facts and words of love. 

Levi had to go, “I love you, Eren. You know that, right?” “Eren was a little caught off guard, “Yeah Levi. I never….think you don't. Is that bad? Haha.” Levi smiled despite himself, “No, I am really happy to hear that. Kiss Nikko for me. You can do this, ahuvi. You can do anything.” They hung up and Levi took a deep breath. He turned around in his chair and walked out to where the interns were, “Okay filthy creatures, here's how it's going to go: don't ask me anything. I don't care if you're on fire, ask a fellow maggot for directions to the wash station. Don't look at me, breathe on me, or think I'm going to be your friend. My silence isn't stoic, my grumpiness isn't because I need a friend, I'm not a mystery to be solved or any if that other dumb ass fanfic prompt shit. If you can't cut it, then I'd be delighted for you to leave because if you're going to be here you're going to work. You're going to work your shitty little asses off and maybe even die for this. So, End Speech.” He waved his hands and went to find Hanji for her experiment. * * * 

Erwin came into the office when Eren yelled for him, “I'm not strong.” Eren said sadly, “What?” “Please go to the doctor with me. I can't do it on my own like Armin.” “Oooooh i dunno i feel like this might get me in trouble.” Eren’s puppy dog eyes were about to kill him, “Fuck Eren, put those eyes away.” “No, they're all I have….and my body.” Erwin stared, “But if I go Armin will be upset I didn't go with him.” “I'll handle Armin, don't worry.” “Seriously?” “Yes.” “How?” “Don't worry about it. We gotta go now to get there a little early.” “I dunno….” “GET IN THE CAR BEFORE I LOSE MY SHIT I AM SO SCARED!” “oh god…..”

* * * 

Erwin hated sickness, sick people, people who worked with sickness (Except his beloved Levi because he was precious and sweated bleach) and he may or may not have purposely chosen to work to get out of his own son's shots. Now, he was here in the doctor's office with a nervous Eren who regressed into Leviesque behaviors or glaring and pouting at everyone so they stayed away from his precious son who was only existing and actively being a delightful little snootle doople. 

Eren looked over at a fidgeting Erwin, “Erwin, stop. Here.” He handed Erwin the first of the find Waldo books he found and Erwin sighed, “Thanks, I need a distraction.” Eren smiled, “Yeah, me too. I'm just going to stare at him and ask his forgiveness now until the appointment.” They'd gotten there twenty minutes early as asked to fill out the paperwork. They sat back and expected to be called any minute. 

*  
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*

An hour later and a stack of Find Waldos Erwin and Eren were livid and having nervous breakdowns. “We got here early,” Eren hissed, “and we’re supposed to be the last one before lunch.” His stomach rumbled, “if. One. more. Person. Comes. In. i. Will. eat. Them.” Erwin chuckled, his face so pleasant but his words cutting, “I’m glad I left my gun in the car. I’m about to shoot up this pony show.” Eren laughed and then a child and its mother came to sit by him. Erwin smiled but Eren knew on the inside he was screaming, “Look, here are some find Waldo books.” The mother handed them to her child and Eren buried his face into Erwin’s shoulder. 

“Oh, such a sweet little boy.” The mother leaned over Erwin and Eren thought Erwin might shove her away. “He’s so handsome. Look at those lashes!” Eren smiled, “He’s our little china doll.” She looked at them, “Is your wife at work and it’s daddy-day-out? I wish my husband had done that for me.” She laughed and Eren rolled his eyes internally, “Well, actually, my husband had to work so I asked my partner to come instead.” 

She looked like they all did when he acknowledged he was gay. But what Erwin did made him laugh internally, “Hi, I’m his partner. My husband had to bring our son by himself because I was traveling. I’m just glad to be where with my partner and getting the full experience.”

She leaned back, “Oh…” 

A few more minutes and then her child was slamming the books around and crying, “MOM! SOMEONE CIRCLED WALDO IN ALL OF THE BOOKS!” Erwin’s face was controlled but it read “oh shit” to Eren and then the nurse called them inside, “Mr. Ackermann!” They got up nearly tripping on one another to get inside, “She’s so pissed,” “She’s such a bitch,” “She’s so ridiculous,” “OMG WHY DID YOU CIRCLE THEM?!” “BECAUSE IT’S HOW ONE NARROWS DOWN THE ONES THEY’VE DONE AND PROVE THAT ONE HAS ACTUALLY FOUND FUCKING WALDO EREN!” “Hurtful. That hurt me. But seriously fuck that bitch I do what I want live how I want and fuck how I want. I have all the love and she has none. I am the best! I JUST CAN’T WAIT TO BE KING.” 

The nurse laughed, “Now I really want to watch the lion king.”

*  
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*

Eren’s eyes were full of tears, “Noooooo,” Erwin put gauze over his eyes, “I CAN’T DO THIS!” Eren pouted, bottom lip shaking, “PLEASE NOOOOOOOOO!” The doctor sighed, “You Ackermann-Smiths are absolutely ridiculous. Zev didn’t even cry, he laughed! Nikko will probably cry but only for a second.” Eren’s eyes widened, “Why would my child cry is Armin’s didn’t?! What are you saying? What are you implying?” Erwin chuckled, “I knew my son was strong.” Eren turned on his heels, “SHUT UP! NIKKO IS STRONG TOO! HE’S THE STRONGEST! MADE OF JEWISH RESILIENCE AND IRON!” The doctor smiled, “So I can give him a shot now?”

Eren moved away shield Nikko from the doctor in his arms. His voice was high pitched and horrified, “NO MY PRECIOUS SWEET SOFT COTTON CANDY BABY!” 

In the end, Nikko got his shots and cried a bit but quickly stopped once we was swaddled again and kissed. His father however, got a sticker and lollipop to calm down and Erwin fainted from the traumatic experience.

*  
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They decided to get lunch and ate in relative silence. Nikko moved in his car carrier they'd brought inside, “May 23rd he'll be three months old.” Erwin smiled, “I can't believe it's been that long. On the 15th Zev will be too.” “I told Levi every three months we should use the womb.” Erwin was drinking his lemonade when he spat it across the table, “Erwin….that was my first yellow shower, thank you.” “Another baby…..that soon….” “Think Levi would…” “Woah stop making me have heart attacks.” “But soon...I say this because I'm going to tell Armin.” “You are killing me.” “Imagine two.” “My wallet hurts…” Eren laughed, “Wait till we have little girls.” “OH! My wallet bleeds.” “And think about it! THEY'LL BE PLANE BABIES!”

*  
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*

Armin was waiting, foot tapping the hardwood when they got back, “Want to tell me why you went with Eren and Nikko to the doctor and not your son and husband?” Armin was royally pissed and Eren handed Nikko over to Erwin, “No, Armin, this is all on me. I was too weak to do it and Erwin told me it was going to be wrong since he had to work and couldn’t go with you. So, I told him I’d do anything to make you feel better about it and I will.” Armin was red in the face, lips pressed together, shoulders tight, Erwin thought he was pretty cute. “What are you going to do?” Eren shrugged, “Fuck you. I mean, if you want to.”

Armin stared, he was still miffed, “It better be good.”

*  
*  
*

Eren and Armin laid side by side on the bed covered in sweat, “I want something else.” Eren sighed, “My jaw hurts so bad, Armin. I want to make you feel good, but my jaw hasn’t healed yet.” Amrin snickered, “No, but damn, I never complain about Erwin’s cock and the damage it wreaks on my mouth.” “Listen, I don’t know how you do it.” “I liked those new moves, b-t-dubs.” Eren raised an eyebrow, “You did? Good, I tried some new shit because you know, I love you and I like fucking you.” “You should _love_ fucking me.” “Oh, I misspoke, I LOOOOVE fucking you.” “But, I want something else.”

Eren rolled on his side, “What?” “I want to dye my hair pink, really pink.” Eren’s mouth was open, his face stunned. He didn’t move or speak and Armin waved his hand on front of his face, “Heeellooooo, Eren! Is that a bad idea?” “NOOOOOOO I LOVE THIS IDEA! Do you have a picture or idea? Are we cutting your hair?” “Not the length because I’m growing it out again. I like that it’s now sitting below my shoulders.” He showed Eren a [picture](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/06/47/ba/0647ba678d8525f43719ba295e362cb1.jpg) on his phone, “Bruh, we gotta get dye.” 

*  
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*

Erwin had Zev in his arms in the kitchen when they walked by, “Baby, I’m hungry.” “Feed yourself.” He threw up faux gang signs as he and Eren walked out.

Eren appeared again out of a breath a few minutes later, “WHERE IS NIKKO?” Erwin was looking at a box of easy mac, “Oh, asleep in the living room with Donner.” Eren sighed, “Fweeeew, I was scared for a second. Okay. FEED YO’SELF!” He threw gang signs up again and ran back to the car.

*  
*  
*

They stood in the haircare aisle, “Nope to manic panic.” Armin nodded, “We’re not Jean.” “OH HOLY SHIT JEFREE STAR MAKES HAIR DYE THIS AND FUCKING PAUL MITCHELL ARE WHAT I AM LIVING FOR RIGHT NOW!” He started to swipe boxes inside of the cart. “Got enough?” “Yep, how would Levi look with blue hair?” “Like sex.” “When doesn’t he look like sex?” “I dunno, him and Erwin just…” Armin whistled, “fuck….they’re so….fuck.” Eren groaned, “Their abs.” “I want to lick them.” “Their jaws.” “I want to lick them.” “Their mouths.” “I want to suck on their lips.” “Their legs.” “I want my face between them.” Eren looked over at a zoned out, glassy eyed, dilated Armin, “Fuck, Arm.” “I know. Let’s have sex in the car.” “Yeeeeeeeeeeessssssss.”

*  
*  
*

Armin panted as he rested his forehead on Eren’s as he straddled him in the driver's seat, “What do you think of dying my pubic hair?” “What?” “Like people do that now.” “I mean...but you have none.” “Oh…” “But….” “What?” “I do.” Armin rocked his hips back and forth and Eren hissed, “Yeah, you do.” Eren chuckled lowly, “Mmm you’ll get me hard again.” “Yeah? Can I make you hard, baby?” He swiped his hips in a circle, “Does this make your hard? OH!” He moved up his cock, “I can feel it getting bigger, harder, oh shit, it’s so nice. You’re cock is so good, so big.”

Eren surged forward and kissed Armin sloppily. Armin’s hands pulled his hair and then they went to shoulders of the chair as he breathed in Eren and moved up and down on his length, hips swaying, flesh slapping together as they hurriedly fucked each other before anyone noticed in the full parking lot.

Breathing, panting, fingers moving on slick flesh, hips shaking, tongues probing, and cum rolling down Armin’s stomachs when they finished. He felt Eren deep inside of him and he moaned into Eren’s mouth, “Fuck, I’m so lucky to have you.”Eren laughed, “You forgive me for being so weak?” “Yeah, I guess. It was just really hard and I thought about asking Levi but he and you were working.” Eren kissed him, “I’m so glad to have you in my life and to be raising two little boys with you and your husband. You’re my best friend, you’re my safety, you’re my better half, and you're certainly who I wish to be more like in many ways. You’re so smart, Arm. You’re so magnificent.” Armin ducked his head shyly, “Wow...I can’t beleive you think of me like that. I wish i was more sure like you and more outgoing.”

They parted and got on their way home in order to start their dye adventure.

*  
*  
*

Armin pulled his wet hair under the light, “WOOOOOAAAAAHH!” Eren was jumping up and down, “Let’s dry it. It looks so fucking cool.” “So cool.” “The coolest.” “MEGA COOL.” Armin kissed Eren and took out the blow dryer.

*  
*  
*

“Where are those two?” Levi was shirtless, he’d just showered in the laundry room and was in his boxers with Nikko. He was so in love with his son and he had to say that the same went for Erwin. Erwin had Zev in his arms so naturally and lovingly. He would talk to him and kiss him and Levi just admired them. Erwin sat back on the couch, “I don’t know. Plotting something, probably.” “I’m hungry. Should I cook.” “Oh God, would you? I burned the easy mac.” “Why can’t you cook.” “I’ve forgotten. I’ve had you to do that, my love.” “Shut up, fag muffin.” Levi said the words blushing, “I can make….nope. Fuck it.” 

Levi was wiping his face and Erwin looked over, “Lee, why are you crying.” “Leave me alone, old man. I just can’t today, okay? Please just call something in, einayim sheli.” Erwin nodded, “How about some Panera?” “Yeah...please.” “I love you, Lee. Don’t cry.” “I’m tired.” Erwin paused, “Oh, Lee….damn. You must be.” 

They heard them coming down the stairs and waited for whatever shenanigans they would start. Eren was smiling from ear to ear, “Oh God, that’s never good.” “Woooooah.” Both were in awe at Armin and his pink hair. He walked over to take Zev, “I’m hungies….” “I’m….getting Panera.” “Good!” “You’re….” “Do you like it?” “I’m….” Levi snorted, “It makes me want to fuck you dressed like an anime school girl. I can’t handle this.” 

Erwin laughed, “You’re my little sugar plum.” Levi looked over smugly, “You’re little piece of cotton candy.” “My lollipop.” Eren rolled his eyes, “Oh okay, we get it. Shut up.” He kissed Levi and Erwin stood up to make the call and then go pick it up. Erwin kissed Armin’s neck and face when he sat back down and stroked Zev’s back, “I love you. I love your hair. I love everything you do.” “Shush….I’m not sleeping with you.” “Whaaat? Why would you think….why not?” “I got my fill.” “I find that hard to believe.” “Its true. Eren did me often and well. I’m good. SO, stop barking up this tree and think about how stupid you are for doing what you did.” He kissed Erwin and turned back to playing with Zev.

*  
*  
*

“Eren…..no.” “Pleeeeaseeeee.” “No.” “Pwease.” “Nooo.” “Yeeess.” “What color?” “Red?” “No, I’m a blue kind of guy.” “I know. I was just kidding.” “Ugh….make it quick.” “I love you.” “I lvoe you too.” Nikko sneezed and Levi made an O face, “GOODNESS LET DEM SPIRITS OUT YOU TINY LITTLE LOVE MUFFIN!” Eren laughed, “He’s a floofel poofel.”


	143. The Shop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smol

Armin sat down at the stool in his kitchen with a huff, “Damn.” He had a pile of books, papers, furniture documents, and more that needed translating before he could catalog them, market them, and sell them. He drank his tea and frowned at the thought of all the time it would take and that meant that it would take time away from Zev and Erwin. _Damn, I want to see them more and then I have school stuff on top, fuck._ He thought about calling Maxim in but then he stopped. _Ilya is wanting to take him on vacation and if I call him in then he’ll use it as a reason to not go. Nope, not going to do that to Ilya._

He went to work on the items, moving them into neat piles and sections he could narrow down. He’d already cleaned many of them because the thought of having dirty things in his warehouse, shop, or just near him made him feel grimy and made him cringe. His phone rang and he opened a text from Erwin:

Erwin: Hey baby.

Armin: Hey daddy. <3 

Erwin: I wanna take you shopping tomorrow.

Armin: Aww :-* <3 ou don’t have to do that.

Erwin: BUT BABY, I want to. I will.

Armin: I’d rather have you just get us some pizza for when I come home.

Erwin: You love pizza more than anything.

Armin: I’d give up pizza for you.

Erwin: WOOOAH WOAH THERE. You love pizza more than anything in the world.

Armin: And I love you more.

Erwin: God, I’m just gunna buy you shit right now. I’ll get pizza for dinner, baby. I love you. Zev loves you. You’re so fucking amazing. You’re a bomb, baby.

Armin smiled reading the text messages but then groaned as the paperwork loomed. He was swimming in French, Russian, Hebrew… _if only Levi was here._ Levi had been very, very stressed out lately. They’d not seen much of him because he was splitting time between the school which was a typical 9-5, well, 11:00-5:00 for Levi since he was a very efficient worker and Hanji could cover the early hours, and the hospital. He was really cranky, more so than normal. Erwin would leave him little notes and Eren made his lunch but he wasn’t responding in any way to them. He’d come home, blank expression, take Nikko into his arms and love on him like a dying man, eat hurriedly, disappear with Nikko, and then Eren would find him in his nursery asleep.

There was a knock at the French doors that startled Armin. It was Levi, he looked miserable. Armin opened the door, “Levi, I was just thinking about you.” Levi blinked, he’d been very quiet too, “I quit my job.” He mumbled and Armin squinted, “What?” Levi took a shaky breath, “I quit my job at the lab.” Armin stared and then motioned for him to come inside.

Armin went over to the counter and started the tea kettle again. Levi sat on the bar stool, wiping his face down. Armin waited for the kettle and then made him a cup of tea to settle. He sat it in front of him and Levi turned to embrace him as he walked away. Armin’s voice was small, hushed, surprised, “Levi.” Levi started to cry, “I’m so tired.” Armin turned to hold him better. “What happened, Velvel?” 

*******

Levi had had enough of this shit. He was booked for two surgeries against his will. He laid his head down, Hanji was complaining and being really difficult to work with today. She was off. He was off. It was just the same shit, different day. He looked on his desk at the pictures, at the one of him, Eren, and Nikko from his party. Mila’s card and Bellamy’s were framed for him to see and there was a picture of each couple that he cared for and one giant group photo. He stared at Eren's smile, at Nikko. _Nikko…._ “Hanji.”

She didn’t hear him, “Hanji!” Still nothing. He slammed his hands down, “HANJI!” She paused, mouth open, glasses askew her face, “What?” He sighed the ultimate sigh, it was like his soul was leaving, “I love you, but I can't do this anymore. I quit.” Hanji was speechless as he started to pack his things up, “Le..Levi! NO, WAIT WHAT!?!?” She grabbed his hand and then when he pulled away she attached herself to him, “Nooo, no. Please don't leave me, Levi. Please. I love you. We have so much going on, so much! We have tye serum too!” “We can still do it at my home on my own time. I just can't do this anymore.” “Nooooooo! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME! AFTER ERWIN GOT YOU LEFT ON AND EVERYTHING!” Levi slammed his things down, falling in his chair, eyes spilling over in tears, “My baby, Hanji. I miss my baby. I have the hospital and this. I never see my baby. I just want to hold my son and kiss my husband.” 

She stopped completely, face hard, “Fuck you.” She took off her jacket, “Fuck you, I don't even care.” He wiped his face, “What?” She grabbed her bag and signed out, “We're done. Don't call me for help or anything. EVER. This is your termination letter.” She pulled a general termination out and signed it. “All of your passwords will be changed and you have 30 minutes to pack up. Fuck off, Levi. I don't want to ever see you again.”

He blinked, stomach turning, “You're. ...what are you saying?” She grabbed her keys, “I'm saying that I'm done with your shit and that this is not only the end of our professional relationship but our friendship. You're not the only one who is tired and who fucking wants to see their baby and husband so fuck off and don't contact me, you self absorbed piece of shit.” She grabbed her card and started out the back door while he stayed glued to his spot in time, in the moment, in the very way she ripped him to shred and destroyed his soul. Hanji was gone and she hated him.

********

Armin listeed but he was pretty shocked by the whole thing. “Just call her.” He offered politely but Levi shook his head miserably, “She won't answer. She want answer me. HaShem, what have I done?!” He threw his hands up face streaked with tears. He drank some tea, “Please….give me something to do. Just…..leave me alone and distract me at the same time. I came here because I know you can do this for me.” Armin was hesitant to ask, “Well,....I have some work….” “Is it these papers?” Levi's hand rested on the stack, “Uh huh.” “Well, I'll get to work. You need translations? Oh, here's you rubric,” he grabbed his planner, “I can do this.” Levi was trying to convince himself he could. 

*********

Armin and Levi sat quietly together at the counter working quickly. Levi was so good at it that he was moving onto the furniture and got up to go to storage and check it out. When he came back Armin put his pencil down and sighed “I think that's it for me.” Levi nodded, “I like how you washed the furniture and used a wax. What is it?” “Oh I make my own specifically for these old pieces.” “I don't feel….accomplished anymore.”

Armin paused, “You know….I don't either.” “I feel like a bad parent.” “Me too.” “I don't have satisfaction because I always feel like I could be doing more or better.” “I know. ….well, you know what gives me satisfaction also kind of gives you satisfaction. …” Levi's eyes widened, “Oh…. _that…._ you know….no one is here…..we could satisfy ourselves fully…” Levi said the words coyly and Armin ducked his head shyly, “I'd like that...a lot.”

********

Armin moaned, “Fuck yes…” he leaned forward, trying even harder strokes and Levi hissed, “Yesssss, fuck yes mami, harder, oh fuck, shit, yes.” “Look at it, the bigger it gets makes me want to try harder.” Levi's eyes rolled back, “Mmmmm let me try.” Armin gasped, “Wow, you're much more experienced than I. Shit, Velvel, I can't.”

Armin and Levi had done it everywhere. First the entry way, then the jewelry counter, the couch seating area, the future coffee bar, the stockroom, and now in the kitchen. Armin had been acting like a sinful whore with his tricks and Levi had showed him who the real master was. They were now in the kitchen and had created a new type of grout cleaner that was breathing new life into the tile covered by the side of the fridge. “Levi,” Armin wiped his brow, “I think the kitchen is done.” Levi frowned, “Yeah, you're not near filthy enough.” He grinned and Armin smiled, “But upstairs is mostly untouched.” Levi whimpered, “Oh,” it was a shaky moan, “talk dirty to me, mami.” Armin moved over him and pushed him on his back, “There's dust, mold, paint chips, cobwebs,” Levi bucked upwards and made Armin's breath hitched. He regained his control as Levi let out a low moan, “Mmmm I bet there's dust bunnies under the beds,” “Stainssss,” he hissed temptingly, “in the sink.” “Mm Fuck.”

Levi moved up, carrying Armin up the stairs. When he got to the bedroom he dropped him on the bed. He grabbed one of the silk swatches Armin had trying to decide what to redo the curtains in and covered his nose and mouth like a bandit. “Is that to keep your already filthy mouth from getting more filthy?” Levi chuckled, “I should fuck you on that dusty ass floor.” Armin smiled and sat up, “I’ve got these brushes,” He said sensually, pulling at Levi’s shirt. Levi’s eyes glinted, “Mm yeah?” “Yeah,” it was breathy, “from Iceland.” Levi pushed him on his back, “With the yellow bristles?” Levi said, extremely turned on. Armin smirked, “Mm no, the,” his lips exaggerated the roundness to the B, “blue.” Levi’s eyes rolled back, “Oh, shit.”

*******

There was a small tear in the wall paper and soon it had to go because that glue could have pathogens in it. The tile in the bathroom was now in the tub and then there was no insulation in the walls which explained why it was cold and then the sink was really porcelain because when the rust came off there were cracks and that needed to go and then the floor had so much dirt and grime and the carpet wasn’t healthy for kids and the hardwood was worn and not able to be saved and….

Levi and Armin sat back and looked at what the had done. They’d ripped the sheet rock off, exposed the inside of walls, the bathroom was gutted, the carpet in the dumpster with the rest. They wanted to get rid of the floor but they couldn’t so they’d used enough pine saw to kill a village and now that it was dry that sat in the middle of the room, one of three they’d done the same to, and just stared. Their faces were pink from exertion, their lips red, handkerchiefs around their necks. Levi was shirtless and Armin looked at him from time to time licking his lips.

“Will you fuck me?” Armin said suddenly and Levi sighed, “Yeah.” He looked over at him, “But not till we have a shower.” Armin nodded his head, “There’s a bathroom downstairs I use.” Levi hummed, “Mami, make me feel something.”

****************

Panting, hands on the glass and tiles and sliding down, “Fuck.” Armin was straddling Levi riding him on the bathroom [shower floor](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/5e/53/3e/5e533ebdb896024d168132c531277f5f.jpg). The tile was white and black, just like them. Armin sucked on his fingers, watching how turned on that made Levi. He leaned down and kissed him passionately while swaying his hips and rocking Levi’s world. He reached down to grab Levi’s hand and brought it to his neck, “Please.” His baby sweet voice drove Levi insane and he relented, squeezing him tightly, “Mmm mami, fuck, you’re beautiful.” Armin huffed, “No, just dirty.” Levi kissed him, “Filthy.”

****************

They walked out of the shop, “I gotta tell Erwin we need to renovate soon.” “I’m so sorry.” “No, Levi, what? What?” “I’m sorry….are you angry?” Levi looked pitiful, “Levi, I’m not. Don’t fucking do that. I’m weak, you’re not.” Armin nearly dropped his keys, “Call her.”

***************

The phone rang and rang as he drove home. When he got to house Armin was waiting and he shook his head that it hadn’t worked. Armin walked off towards the house and when they came inside the house was busy and alive. Eren walked by with Nikko, “Levi, we’re going to dinner at Momma Kirsch’s house.” Nikko was freshly bathed and Levi stretched his arms out, “Please let me hold him.” Eren smiled, “Well, we gotta clothe him.” Levi nodded, “I’ll do it.” “Where’s Zev and Erwin?” “Swimming.” Armin gave him a death glare and ran out to the back, “ERWIN ZIV SMITH YOU BETTER HAVE SUNSCREEN ON HIM OR I WILL RENDER YOU ASUNDER! GIVE ME MY BOODLE SNOOP DOOPLE POOPER!”

Erwin had Zev in his arms in the shallow end of the pool letting him in the water slowly, “CHLORINE!” Erwin grimaced, “Just...a little fun?” “HE’S JUST NOW THREE MONTHS WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU GET THE FUCK OUT YOU STUPID MAN!” Erwin gasped, “Baby, that’s so mean.” “GET HIM OUT OR I’LL DROWN YOU!” Erwin got out and Armin took Zev in his little swimmers diaper and walked off in a huff, “Erwin,” he turned around on his heel, “I want this pool replaced.” “WHAT!?” “YES! YOU BUY PLANES WELL NOW YOU CAN BUY A NEW POOL!” “Why baby!?” “CHLORINE. WE’RE GETTING A NEW SALTWATER POOL AND THEN A SECOND WADING POOL FOR KIDS AND A ROCK FOUNTAIN!” 

Erwin’s mind was spinning, “I don’t understand. Why a rock fountain.” “BECAUSE I WANT ONE AND IT’S NICE! GET ME A MOTHERFUCKING ROCK FOUNTAIN! Erwin raised his hands up, “I WILL! PLEASE DON’T HURT ME!” “HONESTLY, THE UV RAYS ARE OUT AND YOU TAKE YOUR THREE MONTH INTO THE POOL! I MARRIED AND YOU AND THOUGHT YOU WERE FUCKING SMART!” Erwin started to smirk, “WHY ARE YOU SMIRKING!?” “Because….the UV rays are always out, baby. They don’t just like...appear.” “I WILL DESTROY YOU!”

**************

Levi’s head fell on Armin’s shoulder as he feed Zev and Levi admired Nikko. Nikko and Zev liked to nap together and just be together in general. They sometimes wondered if they really thought they were brothers. Armin gave Levi’s head a kiss while Eren played WII bowling with Gio and Jean. Delaine was telling Erwin all about where she’d lived and grown up in France and was suggesting things that he could write about. Marco was coloring with Bellamy while he ate his fruit snacks. “She hates me.” Armin frowned, “I should call her.” “I think she’ll get mad.” “Well,” Armin turned to him, “the world isn’t right when Levi and Hanji aren’t together.” 

Armin watched as Levi’s face changed, “You love her...if we weren’t here…” Levi cleared his throat, “No sense in even thinking about that.” Armin bit the inside of his cheek, “But, it is. You too are not simple. There is a real connection there and if you need more proof you had a baby with her in the original life. I get it. This is much worse than you’re letting on.” “I feel like I’ve been ripped apart.” “I’m sorry, Velvel.” “Hanji is….I’m always….I don’t even have the words.”

He looked at his son, “She’s my remedy.”

********

Eren listened as Levi cried and cried in his sleep. Donner slept in his arms and Eren put his back against his. “Levi...please.” “She hates me.” “Go to the house.” “I can't. I can't have her shut the door in my face. She wouldn't speak to Armin, she wouldn't speak to Erwin or you! I can't even see Mila. I can't see her little girl.” HaShem…...this is what hell must be like.” Eren rolled over and pulled him closer, kissing his shoulder, “I love you. It's going to work out. She's family. Family fights but they work it out. She loves you. I love you. Mila will DEMAND that she sees you.” He talked to him for almost an hour just talking and talking to try and ease his pain. 

Levi was listless, “Neshama?” “Hm?” “We're getting a saltwater pool.” “What?” Levi looked back at him in disbelief and offense, “What the fuck are you talking about?” Eren filled him in and Levi snorted, “Ha I told him when we bought the house the exact same thing.” Eren snickered, “You and Armin are trouble.” Levi smiled faintly, “Yeah.” He closed his eyes and then the door opened, “YOU AND ARMIN GUTTED THE TOP FLOOR OF OUR SHOP?” Eren's mouth popped open, “WHAT?!” Levi looked at the wall completely done with the world, “Ugh yeah but do me a favor and not yell and we'll just say that you did.” Erwin held his hand up, “FUCK!” He lowered it, “Okay the one time I get to lecture you and I can't because you're so sad. Fuck. OK but it was a good telling off. Ok?! A real major telling off.” Levi rolled his eyes, “Yes, yes, Mr. Rock Fountain. Good night!” Erwin left and Eren laughed about it all. “Mr. Rock Fountain. Levi, you're such a delight.” “Hush before I smother you.” “I love youuuuu.” “Thanks….you too.”


	144. An Exchange between Gaia and Olympia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tots smol but some plot.  
> I think I'm in love with all of you readers.  
> I think we need a Disney chapter, too.  
> I think a lot of things.  
> My life is falling apart.  
> Hahahaha....ha...ha... :'(

She pulled a chair up and it drug on the concrete, “Beautiful day, don’t you think?” Her hair was wrapped in a green cloth and her ice blue eyes were striking against it. She was pale, yellow undertone, black eyebrows, prominent features, pale pink lips. She crossed her arms and looked over the concrete veranda railing at the sea. It rolled in with the waves, white a billowy. The other woman across from her gave a humpf and finished her orange juice and opened a bottle coke. It boasted the yellow tag for certified kosher.

She had gorgeous blonde hair in rollers, her lips painted red and coy. She lit a cigarette and put it between her lips, “Lovely garden they have here.” The woman in green nodded, “It is. A bit overdone with the filler flowers but what do you expect from the rich? That’s why you’re here.” The blonde laughed, “I’m not paying for it.” The other woman’s eye twitched, “No, I suppose you never do.” There were plates of food brought out and laid on the marble table. The woman in green lowered her eyes, “That man over there behind the curtains in the pool house,” she began quietly, “he’s one of them. I don’t have to see him to know he’s there. I can feel him, that which shouldn’t be there. Don’t try to deny it. He’s trying to figure out why he feels the way he does about me. ” The blonde raised an eyebrow, “Exactly.” The smoke came out of her mouth in waves, parting around the light green grape she was placing in her mouth, “You shouldn’t be smoking. You’re pregnant.”

The blonde laughed sharply, “I know. But, women were doing it for years before they started tell us about its negative effects. A few drags in the beggining won’t hurt. It’s never hurt before.” The women in green grew sour, “How easy it must be to say that.” She turned her face away and scowled. There was tense silence as she ate more grapes and the seagulls squawked over the light blue landscape.

“What are you having?” She eventually asked with a bored face, “do you even know?” “Not for sure. But, I think it’s a boy.” She still seemed bored, like she knew that’d be the answer all along, “Really?” “Really. And he’s going to be strong if you believe old wive’s tales about morning sickness.” The woman in green nodded, “I’m barren.” “You’re not.” “I know but I might as well be.” The blonde turned her head and looked at the lillies growing near the edge of their garden, “You ever watch Metropolis? Well, I doubt you’re even allowed.” The other woman nodded, “I find my ways to do what I want.” She had a mischievous glint and the blonde smiled wickedly, “This is rotten arrangement for you, isn't it?” She looked vicious, “It always is, isn’t it?”

“Ha! That’s true. Well, this garden is a lot like the Garden of sin that the sons of the men above played in.” The woman in green looked around, “It does.” She narrowed her eyes, “Maybe I should sin?” The blonde leaned back, “I’d like to see that.” She removed her green cloth slowly, raven hair shining under the light with curls that anyone would die for. The other woman whistled, “You’re a very pretty woman. Always have been.” She smiled wickedly, like a cobra ready to strike.

“Yes, but my mother was much more attractive. She had blonde hair, ice blonde, cool tone. She was very fair and had a lot of matches.” “That’s interesting.” “She was Ashkenazi, it’s common.” “And you got black.” “And I got black.” “It suites you, really. You’re a little black in the soul and I’m a little dead inside so we’ve always made a good match.” She ran her fingers through her hair, “We don’t normally meet in person.” “No,” the other woman sighed, “we don’t.” “So,” two sets of blue eyes met, “why now?”

There was a lull and then she lit another cigarette, “You have what I need.” A beat and then it began, “I have what I _need._ ” “Let me in.” It was a demand. “ ** _No!_** This is for mine!” “He won’t be coming anytime soon if you don’t figure it out.” “And you know? You know so fucking much.” “I know everything I need to because I do what I must to get it. I am productive, I am manipulative, I convince people to do what I want and lay down their lives for me so that I can secure this for him, for _them._ ” “ _You let them control us._ ” “ **You want to be controlled.** ”

The raven haired woman threw the metal tray in front of her at her, “WE WANT FREEDOM! There are those among us that want freedom!” “THEN LEAVE!” The blonde stood up shaking the table with her hands, “LEAVE AND STOP AIDING THEM!” The other woman took a step back, “Aiding them...you are a joke, a pretend princess. You run on fumes, nothing real or substantial. How long have we been doing this? You were once my friend, my confidant. But now, ha, you just want people to adore you and follow you. It eats you that they didn’t come to you.”

She started to take her rollers out and shrugged, “That’s just how you perceive it.” Her eyes were hawkish, “No, my blood tells me so. I didn’t ask for this but I’ll do everything I can to try and secure a future for my child. I will do everything with the limited power, the limited role, this world gives me to change things and make them better for him.” “But that’s what I’m doing.” “You’re not the only one with a dog in this fight, bitch.” She spat the words and walked towards the building, “You will never be the one to change this.” 

The rollers were placed on the table, “Why?” She turned around, “Because you never have. You always get too close to them. We never wanted to work with them. In the beginning, it was a deal your kind brokered between my kind and them and we promised to stay silent and we promised to protect them. My brother lives in exile confused about his role and our role and all he wants is something else, something more. I want that too. I want that for him.” She was talking about who was to come, not her brother. Her eyes were full of tears.

“We are royalty.” The blonde said suddenly and she shrugged, “And we will become that. They’ll do it differently this time. This time will be the ultimate, it will be...serendipity.” The other woman nodded, “I’ll just have to agree to disagree. I’ll keep an eye out on all the banks in Paris.” “Ever wonder why they hate you so much?” She paused and didn’t answer, “Because you were the one to leave. It didn’t have to be like this.” “You hate me?” “I don’t hate you. I love you like a sister in some sick ass way.” “Then stay.” “And do what?” “Watch the tide come in.” “No. I need to get home to my husband. He’s here and it upsets me. He reeks.”

She laughed, “He’s a horrid man.” “Zadkiel should have killed him.” “Someone else will.” “I hope it’s my son.” The raven haired beauty felt the dagger on her leg beneath her skirt, face bored and calm, she was always in control. The other woman smiled mischievously while rubbing her stomach, “It might be, sweetheart.” She tched, “Keep those pet names to yourself.” More laughter, “I love you too, Kuschel. I’ll expect prompt replies to my letters!” She rolled her eyes, “Be sure to wire my poor husband some of that Smith money, Marilyn.” 


	145. Jean Does Weddings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> UGHHHH SCHOOL IS DROWNING ME UGHHHHH
> 
> Don't hate me if this chapter is shit.
> 
> Blame coffee and bad Jewish luck.

_Why the fuck do they make so many types of cake?_ Jean stared at the options before him. Marco was sick, really sick. He was working from home and plowing through it like a champ. Bellamy was with Ilya and Maxim spending time with them as bickered about vacations and businesses. He had decided to do something very, very stupid. “Momma…” he began, “why are there so many types of cakes?” She raised an eyebrow, “Because there are many types of people, Jean.” “But…” “Why are you doing this?” “Because Marco is sick and I kind of wanted to surprise him.” She glared at Gio who started to eat some cake, “Gio, love, stop.” He smiled, “But, it is going to waste if I don’t!”

Delaine rolled her eyes, “Okay, we’ve got to get a theme. Then we pick colors. Then we decide the size. Then we think about the location, inside or out, and that dictates the theme of the invitations, too. Then you have to plan pictures, theme must carry through there, and then you have the ceremony, the reception, and the going away.” Jean looked down at the cake samples, “And why are we starting with cake?” She laughed, “Because I wanted to get a taste of what was to come. Now, pick some shit and let’s get on with it.”

_Strawberry, raspberry, blueberry, beer battered, buttercream, fondant, smear, apple, carrot, humans, Oh wait…_ Jean was full and he was no closer to deciding what flavor the cake should be than when they started. “It’s okay, just narrow it down to a few.” Gio patted his back and he grabbed the strawberry, chocolate, and then coffee, “Um no, son. Coffee can be in the groom’s cake.” Jean frowned, “What has Marco told you about what he wants?” Delaine hummed, “He want’s it to be sweet, sentimental, and perfect.” Gio chuckled, “Ha, sweet boy.” Jean was dying, “I don’t know how I’m going to do this.” Delaine shrugged, “That’s why you have me.”

*********************

Jean was trapped among the people at the wedding show, “MOMMMMMMMMAAAA I DON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE!” Delaine had sample table cloths pulled. She gave him a hard look, “Jean! LOOK WITH YOUR EYES! CREAM OR PEACH?!” Jean sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes, “You can keep saying the names but I have no fucking idea what the difference is!” “YOU ARE AN ARTIST!” “THIS IS NOT ART!” She clutched her chest, “JEAN, YOU WILL KILL ME RIGHT WHERE WE STAND! A wedding is art, it is an interactive piece you idiot!” Delaine pulled different types of chairs for the reception out, “LOOK AT THIS AND PICTURE THE TABLE IT GOES WITH!” Jean’s eyes bulged, “”I DO NOT WORK LIKE THIS!” Delaine quipped, “You don't really work at all.” Jean gasped, “MOOOOOOOM THAT'S UNCALLED FOR!”

Gio appeared, “I wish we could get married, Delaine. I found an elopement package for Barbados and it spoke to me.” She looked slyly to the side, “We can get married. He's never going to do it so why wait?” Jean huffed, “Nuh UH! THEN I CAN'T EVER GET MARRIED!” Gio grinned, “Maybe you're just being selfish? Think about us.” Jean’s eyes narrowed, “IT just takes me time.” Gio smiled at him and Jean stepped back, “What do you want? Marco makes those same types of arguments with that same smile.” ‘Well,” Gio rolled his eyes and shrugged nonchalantly, “it would be nice to know where the vows will take place.” “And let me guess, you already have somewhere in mind?” “Maybe.” “Ughhhhhhhhhhh.” *********** 

Jean spent hours with his parents, he’d come to see Gio as a father, and finally he ended face down in swatches and scraps of papers. Pink? No. Blue? No. Chair skirts? What the fuck? Chairs don’t wear skirts. Who’d put a skirt on a chair? ISIS? Probably. But not Jean Kirschstein, no. He was a feminist. He loved his mother but she wasn’t understanding him that he had to do this. He had to prove to Marco he was serious after making him wait for so long.

Jean got into his car and drove around wondering if he could really pull this off or not. When he parked and got out of his car he was still thinking about Marco being sick and how precious he was. He did everything for them. He was the mom and Jean was so in awe of him taking that role because it was such a hard role. Marco made them food, kept schedules, and cleaned. He never asked for anything in return. Jean loved him so much. He loved his family with Bellamy at the heart. He wanted to do something really sweet. _BUT HOW!?_

When she opened the door he stared, “Uuuuhhhhh I dunno why I'm here.” She smiled, “Then come on in.” Mikasa was cooking dinner and she had her living room cleaned from top to bottom. He smelled pine sol, bleach, and lysol. She was definitely cleaning like Levi. He walked over to the couch and saw Keita. He smiled and reached down to pick him up and hold him, “Wow, I’m a grown man and I’m envious of how handsome he is at four months.” She giggled, “Are you a grown man?” He rolled his eyes, “Meanie.”

Jean walked around talking to Keita who was enjoying his crazy uncle Jean. Mikasa started to slow down her prep and really cook, “So, Jean, what can I do for you?” She peered into his soul with her eyes and he started to get nervous, “Ummm, I wanna do something nice for Marco.” “Like?” “Throw our dream wedding without making him lift a finger.” She stared, “Oh,” she sighed, “Jean.” He laughed nervously, “Stupid, right?” She smiled, “Very. Let me guess, you went to Delaine? You said, “I want to plan a wedding” and she started to get very excited and throw things at you that made you have anxiety and cold feet?”

Jean listened to Keita make bubbles, “You’re mommy is so smart, Keita. I wish I was smart like her. Have you seen her hair? It’s beautiful.” She snorted, “I can’t with you.” Jean smirked, “You tots can.” “Don’t say tots. You’re not Armin or Eren. I expect more of you.” “Wow, I’ll be sure to tell them that they disappoint you.” “Do it, make them weep. Thier tears sustain me.” She grinned and he laughed.

*************

Jean was blowing on Keita’s stomach on the floor when David walked inside. Mikasa was at the computer at the kitchen bar working away when David came over and kissed her, “How is my beautiful mami today?” Mikasa smiled, “Good. Keita’s had a great day. I got a lot done. I can actually take some time off. Armin sent me a request today and I’m thinking about it.” David was grinning, “Oh, you are? How kind.” He kissed her a few more times and she nodded, “Mmm yeah. I guess I could throw him a bone.” David kissed her again, he loved kissing her, “Mami, why is Jean here and blowing on our child’s stomach?” She sighed, “David, just sit down.” He went to the fridge and got a beer, “Yes ma’am.”

Jean looked up at him, “Hey man.” David smiled, “Hey,” he sat the beer down, “I’m going to change.” “Cool, cool.” When David returned Jean was making faces at Keita and Mikasa was taking a seat on the other couch, “So, David will need to help me with pricing since he's much better at numbers than I.” She smiled and David blushed, “She's much too polite. Mikasa is the best at everything.” Jean snorted, “Well, she's pretty great but I'm the best.” David smiled, “Oh yes, how did i forget?” Jean shrugged, “I don’t know, man. Maybe after I blew you away in practice the other day you got a concussion.” “Your mad guitar skills are impressive. But, Levi’s belting of beautiful song lyrics is what always gets me.” Jean snorted, “God, he’s so fucking cool.” “Tell me about it.” 

Mikasa hummed, “So, Jean?” Jean rolled over and Keita moved his arms, “I’m going to take him home with me, kay?” He smirked cheekily and she frowned, “Take my baby and i’ll kill you.” Jean went pale, “Damn, Miki. That’s intense. It’s a joke.” He kind of mumbled the last part but David merely shrugged, “She’s serious. I would like to bond with my little motek.” He picked him up and keita smiled, “He knows who daddy is.” Mikasa nodded, “You spoil him.” “Me?!” David looked slapped, “I merely _love_ him. Maybe we should have another one and you can spoil it?” She snorted, “Hush.” Jean came to sit by her, “Okay...lay it on me.”

She cleared her throat, “This is the theme. Here are the colors and here are the groomsmen and bridesmaids attire. Here is what I have sketched for you two. Here is what the cakes could look like and the reception venue in general. If you have the ceremony here, then we should look at venues closer by like here.” “What if we have it all at the same place?” “That means no drinking and more rules. I know you don’t do rules so why pretend to consider it a viable option?” jean snorted, “Oh wow, yeah. Fuck rules.” She smiled and continued showing him the boards she made on the computer and then it came down to finances.

She took Keita from David and went to the kitchen to start plating dinner and David stepped into his usual professional vibe; “Right now,” he kept hitting the calculator to check his work, “we’re at about five thousand dollars.” Jean’s brow furrowed, “I….” David took his glasses off, “think that’s too much?” “No…” Jean looked unsure, “I thought it would be more.” “Oh,” David smiled, “we can make it more.” “Nooooo don’t do me like that man.” David laughed, “Well, it also depends on this important thing.” he leaned closer, “When’s the date?” Jean stared, “Um...well….how about July?” David looked at him with a surprised look on his face, “Um...can you keep that a secret that long?” 

Jean sighed dramatically, “Man, no, you know me too well.” “How about…..In June?” “WAIT! JUNE 16TH!” David smiled brightly, “His birthday.” “His motherfucking birthday.” Mikasa popped him on the head, “You’re such a dumb thing.” He turned around and rubbed his head, “You sound like Armin.” She shrugged, “Take this container home to Marco and we’ll get started on it all.” “I’ll give you the money this week.” “What about a honeymoon?” “I dunno…” She raised an eyebrow, “Marco hasn’t mentioned anything?” He had, a lot. But Jean had always been distracted. Jean didn’t know shit. _DAMN IT._

*****************

Marco was in bed sick as a dog when Jean came in with the food, “Miki made it. Where is Bell?” “He’s sleeping over at the tiny house with his Russian uncles.” Jean giggled, “That’s actually pretty cute.” “I know.” Marco sneezed, “I have such bad anxiety.” “Why?” “Because of Zev….” Jean grimaced, “I think it’ll be,” “He’s acting fussy and Nikko can’t help. Levi already made the rounds and prepared me for it. He said he wasn’t sure if I made him sick or we just got around the same stuff.” “Oh,” Jean frowned, “Marco, babe, I’m so sorry. I love you.” He brought the food over and Marco smiled, “I love you, too.”

Jean needed to slyly have Marco remind him where he wanted to go on their honeymoon but he was not one known for tack. Over the next two days he tried but to no avail. He then had the bright idea to have Ilya ask. “Where did you say you always wanted to go on your honeymoon?” Ilya was smiling, high and happy as he ate powdered donuts Maxim had made for them all. Marco wiped his nose, “It's pretty nerdy.” “What?” “Yeah, I….” He looked around at Armin and Erwin, Levi and Eren, Ilya and Maxim, and David and Mikasa, “Disney World.” Armin and Eren squealed, “OMG THAT'S MAGICAL!” They nearly fell all over themselves ooing and cooing. Levi and David both looked at each other from the corner of their eyes confused. Mikasa smiled softly and leaned across the table for her teacup. 

Levi was hoping that that smirk of hers was not for the reasons he thought, “Levi and David have never been to Disneyworld or Land.” She said it in her oh-so-Mikasa-way that was all calm-like-a-bomb and broken pomegranates in the streets and then there was utter silence. Jean and Marco blinked and then Maxim and Ilya both moved unsure, “We have never been to this….Disney world land either.” Maxim said slowly watching Armin's face become even more distraught. He was clutching the monitor in his hand since his sick child had finally gone to sleep and Maxim felt horrible for dealing him more stress. Armin's eyes watered, “We'll Take you.” 

It was a soft promise full of tears. Eren and Erwin were smothering Levi in their arms, tears staining his dead panned annoyed face, “We'll Take you, Levi. We'll ride all the rides and sing all the songs. We'll give you the childhood you were robbed.” Levi stared at David, “Joy.”

Jean grimaced, “Uh okay. So, what does everyone have planned for the next few weeks?” Marco pulled Bellamy up and down, “Um school, work, you know, the usual.” “Well, babe, I was gunna keep it a surprise but I'm throwing you a birthday party.” Marco smiled brightly, “Jean! REALLY?!” “Yeah so no one plan anything for the weekend of the 16th.” Levi frowned, “Are you inviting. …..everyone?” Hanji still wouldn't speak to Levi and it'd been almost a week. She seemed to have no intentions of even coming to joint things. Marco frowned and Jean nodded, “I'm inviting them.” Levi nodded, “Yeah, okay.”

****************

Jean tapped the table and Mikasa reached over ripping the pen from his hand, “David says that it’s all going to work out. We just need to tell everyone who’s involved so that they don’t get surprised.” Jean frowned, “Levi and Hanji….” Mikasa’s bottom lip quivered, “No.” “Miki…” “No! It makes me sad!” “SINCE WHEN ARE YOU EMOTIONAL?!” “SINCERE I DELIVERED A TINY LIFE WITH NOT MEDS YOU ASS!” “I have questions…” She paused, caught off guard, “Uh oh.” “So...what’s it like after a baby?” She stared blankly, “Really?” “Yeah, I’m kind of...please?” “What is is what like?” “Sex.” “DAMN, WAY TO JUST BE BLUNT! Oh, that’s right, you’re Jean.” “I’m seriously asking because I want to learn.”

She stared, “It’s the same, really. Some people don’t agree but I say it’s the same. The only thing that was different was how into me David was. He was even more into me. He’s super into me.” She drank her tea and Jean blinked.

“Because you…” “I had his child. I get everything I want without question now. I pretty much run everything and he adores me. I think it's super sweet.” Jean snorted, “Uh yeah, you would.” “Hush.” “But, what about your vagina.” Mikasa sighed, “It’s the same.” “There’s no way.” “Yeah, I would. It’s my vagina.” She said sarcastically. He narrowed his eyes, “But like are things the same in there?” “It’s not a house, Jean. Someone didn’t come in a fuck all the furniture up.” He laughed and so did she, “Wow.” She snorted, “Yeah. Now shut up.”

***************

Jean knew Hanji had been beyond strange lately. She wasn’t happy. She was nervous. She was on edge. Mila bounced on Mike’s knee while sat at practice and Levi stared. He was awkward, out of place, and he was depressed beyond words. Mike looked over at him. It was the first time he’d seen Levi since Hanji stormed inside of the house, tears streaking her face, and coat flying off into the mudroom, “I HATE HIM! I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM EVER AGAIN!” 

She was sobbing, hyperventilating. He tried to stay calm, cow dung on his boots and jeans heavy with sweat, “Who?” She turned to him screaming, “LEVI! I HATE HIM! I hate him, i hate him, I hate him,” she wiped her face harshly with her hands, “God, I hate him.” She stomped her feet and tried to calm her breathing, “I took two weeks off.” He raised an eyebrow, “Oh?” “Yes,” she said wheezing, “and I may not go back.”

He knew better than to try and hold her. She wasn’t that type of person. He knew she was beyond her limits and so he let it run it’s course while trying to secretly gauge how concerned he should be. “What if we moved?” Mike’s mind was spinning, “Where?” “To the farm. I mean, if I quit then we could do it. Why not?” “You’d move,” he began slowly hoping she’d head her own words, “because you and Levi have had a falling out?” She stared, “I’d move because obviously this just isn’t right for me anymore. This job, the schedule, the people.” She got even more upset and he finally saw the sign that let him know he could hold her and love her.

She opened up slowly to him. She was always so positive and relied on a blanket of insanity to hide herself but Mike was too calm and most importantly he was patience. Patience is what Hanji needed, what she required. Mike would always have patience for her. Even when she was telling him things that made him mourn.

Now he was looking at Levi and Mila turned her head, her little curls shaking, “Levi! Hah-ow-ld me!” Levi burst into tears and Donner whined, “Not right now, sweetness.” He went into the bathroom and sat on the bench when Jean walked inside, “Man, I’m so sorry.” Levi was trying to hold it in but Jean was family and he let it out, “How can I hold her and love on her when her mother hates me? She didn’t even want Mike to bring her because she doesn’t want me to see her. I can’t go against the wishes of a parent. I’d never want that to happen to me in regards to Nikko.”

Jean put his arm around him, “I just don’t understand…” Levi sobbed harder, “I don’t either. HaShem....I love her. I never meant to hurt her or anything. I just wanted to be with my family and do what Eren wanted! We’re just trying to figure it out.” “With the hospitals.” “YES!” Levi was so emotional and Jean was shit at things like this. But, then there was something that he started to think about and that lead him to developing a plan of his own.

***************

Jean spoke with Mike who was just as upset that Levi was upset. Levi wiped his eyes and when he walked back out Jean was standing in the doorway, “Man, come with me. Don’t fuckin’ ask questions or get weird. You know I care about you and I wouldn’t do something to you that was gunna hurt you, right?” Levi paused, he was scared, “I know but…” “Come on.” 

Levi sat in the truck, arm behind Jean’s seat petting Donner, “Jean…” his deep monotone voice pulled at Jean like metal attaching to a magnet, “I don’t like this.” Jean pulled up to the white house with it columns and beautiful landscaping, “Come on, it’s now or never.” Levi let himself be led to the front door and then Jean gave him a pat on the back. “I’ll be down here in the living room. Mike will be home in a few hours.”

Levi was pushed towards the stairs and he climbed them quietly, easily, slowly. He felt her and then he was in front of her bedroom. Levi's hand covered the cold metal knob and then he pushed it open as slowly as possible.

She was in bed, tissues around her, hot water bottles, heated blankets, and her hair was undone and damp from a shower. Levi stared, he felt guilty, “Ha-,” his voice dried up to a croak. She looked over and then covered her eyes again sobbing, “Noooo, go away.” He bit the inside of his cheek biting his sobs back, “Mhm.” He shook his head, “Please,” “No, Levi,” “Pleeease, Hanji! I don't understand.” “You never do!” She laid down turning her back to him. 

He was going to go, never come back, but he couldn't. He'd come too far now. He walked over and crawled into bed with her, facing her. She covered her face but he took her hand away and smoothed her hair out of her face, “Please.”

Hanji was crying silently and Levi gave her time until he felt the pressure building inside of him, “I never meant to hurt you.” “I miss you.” She buried her head into the pillow, “And all we ever do is work and I feel like that’s all I am to you now.” Levi didn’t say anything and she continued, “And I love you. I miss you. I feel guilty.” She wiped her face, “I’ve had two miscarriages since Mila.” He wanted to scream and she took a shuddering breath, “And as a scientist I can deal with that. But, apparently the damage from Mila’s premature birth had made my womb nonviable to carry a pregnancy to term and when this last third pregnancy got out of the danger zone I was told I couldn’t carry it to term by the doctors. I had to have an abortion because it would have killed me and the possible child. Mike knew and after it I think it really got to him. He doesn’t want any future children. He says we should be glad we just have Mila and that we’re healthy and happy.”

Levi’s fingers were barely touching her hand, “You can use,” “He doesn’t want any more children, Levi. He doesn’t want us to use the womb. It’s something we’ve been discussing for a while but I think that maybe he’s right. I shouldn’t make him do something like that without his OK. Children aren't games.” Levi took her hand, “Why didn’t you tell me?” “I tried.” “I,” Levi was crying, “am such a horrible person.”

“I think we might need to move.” Levi lurched forward, moving much closer to her than he’d wanted, “No! Why!?” She looked so sad, “Because I care much too much about you and I’m not connected like I should be in my own life and family.” “I can’t….I can’t…” “It may not be forever, Levi. But, maybe it’s necessary.” “Please, don’t do this. Please…” They spoke quietly, tears staining their pillows. Levi felt like there was a part of him dying as they went on. He felt like she was the glue that held all of the various things in his life together. _Erwin, Hanji. Eren, Hanji. Donner, Hanji. Nikko, Hanji. Work, Hanji. Parties, Hanji. Mila, Hanji._

He’d left Baidaschi, left Israel, left New York, and come to Maria and into her arms and ever since then she’d been a partner in everything in his life. She took care of everything Eren couldn’t. Everything Erwin couldn’t. She did it all. He’d loved her for so long and that love had shifted and changed and become so much more than what others previously defined love as being. It was a lot more than that. It was like this warm glow of rose gold between them that inspired and encouraged. He pulled her face closer, pressed their foreheads together. “I’m such a horrible person because I need you so badly, Levi. I’m a horrible person.”

Levi’s breathing was shallow, a small sob in the back of his throat, “They just don’t understand us.” Hanji moved closer, “Yeah, they really don’t. You know all my secrets.” She laughed bitterly and he surged forward, his lips covering her in a breathless desperate kiss. It was needy and raw and full of sounds of craving in the back of their throats as they moved against each other.

It wasn’t something that they should be doing. It was something they’d promised to never do. It wasn’t like they were in love with each other in the traditional sense. It was more of a last attempt at being close to one another and understanding each other. Levi just wanted her to stay, to talk to him. Hanji just wanted him to listen, to let her leave if she needed to. His hands moved over her body and she molded to him.

It was quick.

He removed her shirt, her shorts. Her hands ripped at his own clothing till it lay with hers. 

His tears slid down his cheekbones to his lips that covered hers while his deft hands moved to grasp her breasts fully in them.

She moved under him, her arms around his neck pinning his face close to her so that she could smell him, his breath that left his lungs. 

She shuddered when he moved between her legs quickly. His body sleek in sweet and connected to hers again.

_Oh! To be near someone who knew pain like yours was a heady thing._

It was pain, this that were doing. This was sorrow. This was mourning. This was their lament. This was their apology to one another for their negligence of one another. 

Levi and Hanji were panting against one another.

They stopped moving. 

Levi over her, mouth open.

Hanji buried her face into the crux of his neck and shoulder.

They shuddered against each other.

Hanji’s hands carded through Levi’s hair as he hovered over her. 

He was in a daze until it all slammed into him. They had done such a risky thing. They had done such a wrong thing. The guilt crushed him. “I shouldn’t have done this.”

He kissed her and she let out the breath she was holding, “We shouldn’t have done this.” She kissed him again and he kissed her back, “What have we done? What have we _done?_ ” He was coming undone. She spoke clearly, “Nothing. It didn’t mean that.” “But, we’ve done this horrible thing.” “It’s between us.” “I promised him.” “I know. I did, too.” “What happens now?” She peered up at him and he felt her answer him silently, “We never tell. It didn’t mean what they think it meant. We know that. We never tell anyone because,” His voice was so small and so sad, sorrow laced his entire being, “they just don't understand us.”

Levi looked at her, “Never leave me, please.” She moved his hair out of his face, “After this….I have to.”

***********

When Levi walked down towards the living room he heard Jean outside on the phone. He went outside and he was talking away. He stopped suddenly, “uhh Miki I’ll call you back.” Levi’s heart was thumping out of his chest, his blood hot, “Why are you out here?” Jean squirmed, “I….okay. When you went up I got a call and it was Mikasa. I’m throwing a surprise wedding.” Levi relaxed, “Whose?” “Mine….” Levi stared, “Wow...That’s cocky even for you.” “Ha! I know. Let’s go, man.” 

******

Jean was near the house when he pulled into Bruster’s Ice Cream, “Okay, pick whatever you want.” Jean smiled and Levi looked at him confused, “I'm not who you should be taking to Bruster’s.” Jean frowned, “Wut?” Levi sighed, “You need to bring Eren.” Jean paused, “Does he….miss me?” Levi dead panned, “Does he miss you?” He rolled his eyes, “He ran into your bedroom and sang Led Zeppelin songs when you got back from Atlanta the other day. You know, you make time for Armin…” Jean knew he was right. But, he also knew Levi didn’t get involved in things like that willingly, “What's happened between you and Hanji?” Levi's jaw was tight, “She's had it bad and felt like I didn't care.” “Oh...personal lady stuff?” “Yeah, personal lady stuff.” “Okay, well, that's for her to tell me and not you I guess.” Levi stared at the menu and swallowed his lying piece of shit guilty self, “I want that one…...with the Dinosaur cookie and sprinkles.” Jean’s eyes widened but he didn't react, “Okay and I'll get a strawberry milkshake.”

*************

Jean walked into Levi and Eren's room and smiled, “What the fuck, Jäger?” Eren was sitting on the floor with a book, papers, glue, and giant plyers. H looked like he was caught red handed, “Uhhhh,” he looked around, “I'm scrapbooking.” Jean nodded, “Hey….is that Carla’s stuff.” Jean sat next to him and Eren nodded, “Yeah, I want to use it for Nikko. I want to be like mom.”

Jean and Eren quietly went through the scraps and then looked at photos from when they were growing up. Jean felt heavy, “You know I love you like a brother, right?” He blurted it out like always and Eren blinked, “I love you like a brother, too.” There was a sweet moment and then Eren watched as Jean's mouth popped open, “No homo.” Eren slapped his arm, “Idiot.” He hit him back, “Maniac.”

They cut and pasted and made sheets of photo stories until Eren stopped, “I need glitter.” Jean's eyebrow raised, “How Armin.” “I know….but this needs glitter. Give me some!” He demanded and that rubbed Jean the wrong way, “GET IT YOURSELF!” “I’M NOT THE ARTIST!” “I DON'T USE GLITTER YOU ASS HAT I AM A PROFESSIONAL WHEN THE FUCK WOULD I USE GLITTER!?” “I DUNNO FUCKER WHENEVER GLITTER IS NEEDED!” Eren pouted and Jean fell back dramatically on his back on the floor, “You suck.” “You suck more.” “Let's go to Hobby Lobby.” “Those Christians.” “I’M A CHRISTIAN.” “BUT NOT CRAY CRAY LIKE THEM!” “True….” “Yeah, let's go please.” “Mmkay.”

***********

The trip was successful if you didn’t mind the fact that Eren managed to knock over a thousand things and get expanding foam in his hair that was stuck until at least three good washes in the colors red, green, and yellow. Jean and he were eating BBQ at Full Moon and Eren had stood in the line excited about the options but then suddenly got quite, “Jean?” “Yeah?” “Um….don't tell Levi I,” “I am going to. I going to always tell on you and get enjoyment. You don't get to take that from me.” Eren pouted, “Pwease?” Jean sighed, “Fine.”

He was eating and Jean admired how much older he was and how handsome, “You look nice, Jaeger. You're really not bad to look at.” Eren snorted, “Apparently, you think you still look the same or something. You've gotten all eagle eyed and dashing.” Jean smirked cockily, “I'm a catch. Always knew I'd be.” Eren flicked baked beans on him.

Eren eventually changed their topic of conversation to Grisha and Carla, “I wanted to talk to you about something on my basement.” Jean's skin crawled, “What?” “There were these bottles of acid…” he drifted off and Jean's stomach sunk, “Oh?” “And then I had this feeling that you somehow knew something about then?” “I don't know shit. It's fine.” Jean tried to keep his word vomiting problem to himself, “like maybe they were leftover from something you can't remember?” _FUCĶ._ He'd wanted it to come off dismissively but Eren was so smart, so fucking smart. He watched the gears turn and turn until he blanched and looked like he'd vomit. Jean packed up their food and gave him a minute before walking them out into the truck. Eren didn’t speak for the rest of the car ride home. 

When they got there he walked inside with Jean close by and then into the living room where Armin, Levi, Erwin, Marco, and the kids were. They loved their huge house that let them all be together with enough space. Eren stood at the edge of their new rug and furniture and looked at Armin, “Why did you keep it from me?” 

He wasn’t angry, he wasn't pissed off or any normal Eren emotion. He was scared in Jean's opinion. Armin's mouth popped open slightly and he looked to Jean who twisted his bracelet Carla gave him with his fingers. Armin's voice was lost. He didn't know how to answer or what was being asked of him. 

Eren kept thinking and then he kept heading towards thoughts and more thoughts when he turned around and, “What…..happened to your stepfather?” Eren said cautiously and Jean was torn between reassuring him or admitting or anything really and Armin was even more lost. Levi, Erwin, and Marco sat in silence waiting. 

Jean wet his lips, “He....is….gone….you know...he went away....” Jean closed his eyes and wished to be anywhere but there. Armin's voice was shaky, “Was it about the acid?” Eren turned to look at him, “You had all these bruises on your back after he went missing.” Armin cleared his throat, “I mean...I’m sure there was a good reason.” Jean shook his head, “Come on man, it’s not that important.” “No,” Eren said sternly, “I ….. Need to know. Because, I think I’ve been doing something that I don’t even know about.” Jean and Armin thought it was best leaving sleeping dogs where they laid, “Eren,” Armin began and then he paused, “I killed Bradley, didn’t I?”

Marco grabbed up Bellamy, “I’m gunna make Bellamy a snack. I know this story.” Eren’s eyes widened, “What?” He shook and turned to Jean. Jean held his hands up, “Eren, yeah. You did. We promised to never tell you. You kind of just had this break and did it.” Eren moved closer, “And you never ever told me?” “No, we thought you’d have freaked out and been guilty and…..I mean, it was wrong. It was also something that no matter how we tried to rationalize it ended with you in jail.”

Eren deflated, “You’re father?” “You didn’t kill him.” Eren stared, “Well, obviously someone did with the way you’re referring to him.” Eren was flustered and red in the face when Armin meekly offered up a, “I did it I guess.”

Erwin and Levi both seemed to get closer and closer to each other.

Eren sighed, “You guess?”

Armin shrugged, “Um...I think so.”

Eren stared, “You either did or didn’t.”

Jean stepped in, “It was a joint effort.”

Eren turned around, “What the fuck, Jean!? What?!” 

Jean and Armin squirmed, “Jean’s stepfather was obsessed with him and abducted us. He was supposed to take you but Armin was there and I guess...he just took him instead.” 

“Why me?” 

“He was besties with Bradley’s father. He had a penchant for pretty boys and girls and they bonded over that I guess. Armin had to not only get away from him but figure out where they took me and then yeah…”

Eren stared, “No, explain!” 

“I killed the guy, jacked a car, went to the woods, found them, helped kill him, rescued Jean and then we burned that guy’s house down.”

Eren remembered, “NO! I REMEMBER THE FIRE! It was electrical!” 

“Nope. It was Armin-ical.”

“We came home, we passed out, we woke up, forged a note, passed out, and yeah….he’s you know...still alive living somewhere in the world so there’s nothing to worry about.”

Eren stared, “And you did this so I didn’t have to go to jail?” 

“Pretty much. You know...you kind of do things like this and we just cover them up. It’s not right, it’s not healthy. But, yeah….”

Eren sighed, “Well, that's actually really sweet. You've all just protected me and despite the horrible things I did still loved me.” Eren smiled, “And let's be honest,” he shrugged, “he had it coming.” Armin and Jean sighed a breath of relief slightly, “I mean, I've probably killed more we don't even know about.” He laughed and went into the kitchen to grab a vanilla coke and pretend to eat Bellamy’s sandwich.

**********

Jean was handing out groomsmen gifts and tuxedos when Levi turned around, eyes wet from crying. “Man, just because I'm getting married doesn't change anything. I'll always be your little girl.” He smiled cheekily and Levi popped him, “You burned yourself, brat.” Levi leaned against the wall and Jean had to ask, “What happened at Hanji's?” Levi recoiled, “Shut up.” Jean didn't, though, “Honestly, they're going to be here and I want to make sure,” “STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY BUSINESS!” Levi was seething, recoiling. Jean looked like he'd committed a crime unknowingly and was now in court. Eren came inside, “What the fuck did you do, Kirschstein!?” Levi left and Jean was left grasping at straws with an angry motherly Eren with Nikko in his arms. 

**********

“Babe, I'll miss you!” Marco kissed him all over his face and Jean snorted, “Oh Babe, I'll miss you, too.” Marco grinned, “Who throws a surprise birthday party but tells their SO?” Jean rolled his eyes, “It'll be a surprise when you see it. I themed it, babe!” Marco giggled, “I love you.” Gio and Delaine were waiting with Bellamy in the car seat. “Have fun with your dad.” Marco looked back at them talking and making over Bellamy, “I doubt he'll find me interesting with Bellamy around. He'll miss you.” “Papa!”

Jean looked around Marco and waved at Bellamy, “Hey buddy.” “Papa! HUGS!” He made grabby hands at Jean and he smirked walking over, “Nothing like a son to make you feel like a big shot, yeah?” He said to a chuckling Gio, “Nothing like it at all.” Delaine scoffed, “Hopefully, Bellamy will call his parents more.” “I SEE YOU ALL THE TIME NOW!” “YOU COULD ALWAYS BE DOING MORE!” “ DO YOU WANT ME TO LOVE INSIDE OF YOU AGAIN?!” He moved forward dropping down to his knees, “COME ON, PUT ME BACK IN! JUST ALIEN SLIDE ME BACK IN!” “JEAN! DON'T BE SO DISGUSTING!” She grabbed his ear and ripped him up off the ground. Bellamy laughed but still wanted hugs. 

Jean kissed Bellamy, “Bell, you gotta take care of daddy. You gotta take your puppy dog and crawl into bed with him tonight and protect him.” “Like papa?” “Yep, just like papa. Daddy would be lost without papa.” Jean hit him, “Don't put lies in his head.” “It's the truth, babe.” “I _tell you_ when things go bump that it's nothing!” Gio and Delaine chuckled. They had promised Jean to do all they could to keep him occupied. 

****************

Jean and Eren ate popcorn on the media room floor while Armin painted his toenails, “Jean?” “Yeah, Arm?” “Can I paint your toenails?” Jean looked at him and then grimaced, “Might need to….cut them.” Armin stared blankly, “Are you fucking serious?” He said exasperated and Eren snickered. Jean grabbed his foot and tore his sock trying to pull it off, “HEY YOU ASSHOLE!” “HOLD STILL JAEGER!” “STOP CALLING ME JAEGER!” “NEEEEEEEVEEEEER!” Jean pulled the sock off and started to laugh maniacally, “LOOK AT THESE CLAWS!” Eren hit him and then they were wrestling on the floor with Armin watching like he always had, “You two, stop.” He starting throwing pillows at them and then made them all get up and sit on the couch.

Armin ran the hot water in the popcorn bowls they kept downstairs and then had them place their feet and hands in them. Armin started working on their feet while he listened to Eren complain about it tickling and Jean complain about Eren being so weak. Armin smiled to himself and Eren took Jean’s hand in his, “I’m really excited to see this mystery wedding.” Jean smiled, “It’s going to be great.” “How cocky.” Armin looked up, “Mikasa is planning it with David as her assistant.” “Oh,” Eren began, “it’ll be fabulous then.”

*****************

Jean thought the bed was rather lonely that night. Marco was gone and his little boy wasn’t on the monitor. He texted Mikasa, “I’m lonely.” 

He let the phone fall on the other pillow and closed his eyes.

The vibration woke him.

Miki: You’re never alone, Jean. 

*****************

Marco woke up and was accosted by breakfast in bed. Bellamy laid next to him still sleeping and Gio kissed him away, “Marco! I was so happy when you were born! You were beautiful. The nurses used to busy themselves counting the freckles on your good Italian derriere!” He smiled at Marco as Marco grinned and put pancakes between his lips, “FTh-anks D-ah.” He stroked Bellamy’s mess of curls and offered him bites of pancakes. “Papa?” “We’ll see him soon.” “Eren?” “Om my God we’ll see him too.” Gio smiled, “He’s got a thing for Eren?” Marco’s eyes widened, “ _Loves Eren._ ” “I thought for sure Levi would,” “Oooooooh no, he’s cool but Mila has dibs. Eren lets Bellamy climb on him, wipe his hands on him, he chases him around the house. They make water slides together that Erwin hides from Armin and Levi. I mean, it’s endless.”

Marco and Bellamy enjoyed a good morning of relaxation and then he was handed a[ tux](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/2d/e3/62/2de362ab6368b11908172857de1a313c.jpg), “It’s a fancy birthday party it seems.” Marco took it and narrowed his eyes, “Uhhhh God, I hope this isn’t like some prom party or wedding themed party.” Gio turned and quickly left because that was not boding well. They all knew this was a risk, leaving someone out like this. 

***************

When they pulled up at the church grounds Marco was really confused, “Uh...are we here to cleanse me of my sins?” He laughed nervously and [Delaine](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ec/01/93/ec0193d695d839f0c91dec0e00df684a.jpg) turned around, “Dear, it’s going to be a surprising day.” [Gio](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/bf/61/b6/bf61b6ea0350b7a90186ead5353cd2ac.jpg) turned around to smile, “It’s going to be a great day.” 

The church was packed given its remote location and Marco saw standing outside most of his close male friends all in brown [tuxedos](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e1/62/4e/e1624e10efadc0be252bc3b6a165f8b8.jpg). “Oh my God.”[ Jean](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a3/98/19/a39819bd54122f8e59d9413a8f0aabff.jpg) appeared, a huge smile on his face. Marco could barely get out of the car and Bellamy smiled, “Papa!” Marco got out, tears in his eyes, “Babe,” he covered his mouth, “is this...is this?!” Jean was crying, too. “Yeah, babe. Will you marry me today?” Marco jumped into his arms, legs around his waist, lips pressed against his, “Yeah, Jean. I will.”

**********************

Mila sat in Levi’s lap while he kissed on her and spoke with her. She wanted him to read to her and he did. She reluctantly let Nikko sit in his carrier next to them but she couldn’t spare him a glance. Levi relished every second he had with her. He eyes were no longer purely hazel but they had become greener and greener. She touched his lips, “Leevee?” Levi looked at her, “Yes, my sweetness.” She smiled, “I wub yew.” Levi’s heart wanted to burst into a million pieces, “I love you, Mila.” He said with much effort, “I love you more than words. You are a piece of my everything. You are the sweetness of it all. You hold in your little hands many of my hopes and prayers. I want you always in my life. I love you. I love you so very, very much.”

Her little hands were on his cheeks, “No crwy, Leevee. No crwy!” She patted the tears away into his skin and then he kissed her. He kissed her and made her giggle. Mike came inside of the small attached side room smiling, “She loves you. You love her. I love you. Hanji loves you. You love us. I just….I’m sorry.” He shrugged and moved his foot across the stone floor. Levi nodded, “I’m happy for you.” Mike was touched, “You’re not but you are. I can tell.” Levi kissed Mila again, “I am happy for you and Hanji. Maybe the cow shit will exfoliate her nasty ass skin.” Hanji walked in, “I need Mila for pictures and my skin is just fine.”

He looked at her but not really. She didn’t really look at him. They both didn’t want Mike to notice so Mila was handed off and then Mike gave a humpf, “Can I hold the little guy?” Levi nodded and Mike held Nikko up. He whistled, “You and Eren make pretty babies. Better have some more. Might get a husband for Mila.” He smirked and Hanji hit him, “She’ll never share Levi. She’s in love,” her voice broke and then the regained herself, “with him.”Mike nodded holding Nikko in his strong arms, “Yep,” he looked at Levi, “it’s what we're most worried about. I don’t know. It might be what brings us home.” Levi’s throat was dry. He was hurting so badly he was going numb, “I need to find Eren.” Hanji chewed the inside of her cheek pulling at her bridesmaid’s[ dress](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/f5/54/7f/f5547f487dd42a95d58cfeff083b4f33.jpg), “Um he has Donner?” “Yeah.” “Okay.” Mike gave Nikko a kiss, “Can I still love on him?” “Yeah.” Levi smiled softly, “He’s a good one to love on.”

******************

Marco was bouncing up and down, “Is it pretty?” Mikasa smiled, “Uh yeah, I designed it.” Delaine was dramatic, “I knew one day a younger more beautiful woman would take my place.” Gio pinched her bottom, “I like you just the way you are.” Delaine smiled, “You better.” David had Bellamy and Keita, one on his chest and the other in his arms. “Mami, where do the children go?” “Hannes is going to watch them with Zadkiel. There’s a pen basically we’ve got and they’re the designated pen watchers.” “A pen for children?” “Yes, they won’t remember. It’ll be fine.” “Hmmm you’ve become so militaristic, mami.” “Of course! How many do you think we’re going to have?!” “I never thought of it like that but we’d need a lot of help for stuff like this.” “Exactly, Berkovitch has a girlfriend and she’s brought her sisters and they’re helping as well.” “HE’S DATING!?” “Hannes approved the girl, too. I can’t wait to meet her.”

David looked shocked, “She’s watching Keita and you’ve not met her?” Mikasa looked innocent, “I know her social.” She said deviously, “I could ruin her in seconds.” David laughed fully, “I love you!”

***************

The [cathedral ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/c6/bf/58/c6bf58a61d0ac76bdbccf29cca1a1ea5.jpg)was breathtaking and Marco’s eyes were full of tears. The flowers were gorgeous. The music was fantastic and all of his favorite compositions. Yvonne wiped his tears with her handkerchief and then went to the front. She was going to read a poem. Marco saw Bellamy at the front sitting on the floor with his pillow that had a fake ring on it. Marco was so happy. His father squeezed his hand, “Your mother and I are so proud of you. She only ever wanted the best for you. She wanted you to know love and be loved. She is your angel and I know that because we speak. Not a day goes by I don’t speak to her and tell her what a marvelous and glorious son you are. You are my everything, my perfect son. You are the purest love I have ever felt and I am so happy to be giving you to Jean because he loves you like that, too.”

When he reached Jean he was teary eyed and red in the face. Berkovitch was to the side for once, just a guest, as their priest began the elaborate traditional prayers in latin. It was a full mass and just what Marco had always wanted. Jean stood and knelled and prayed and held Marco’s hand with love and tenderness. He kissed his rosary and Maxim was in love with the beauty of it all. He felt warmth blossoming in his chest watching such love before him in Christ’s blessedness.

When they were able to kiss and the guests clapped, Marco thought that this was one of the most perfect moments of his life and Jean did, too.

*******************

Outside there was the reception [area](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/df/43/1d/df431dd9ed336c776953b2fb74f09174.jpg) where [cakes](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/2d/cb/11/2dcb1151bf2bb7f6dbe2a693cb5e0373.jpg), [party](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/53/a6/86/53a6862ea16875083236601e5ba3e0d6.jpg) [favors](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/06/41/cb/0641cb777b19096c249327a0fe8056ba.jpg), and a [food](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/56/af/3e/56af3e4e9317e8a50f94d483ffcb5bd2.jpg) truck was. Guests soon saw the theme was coffee and there on a board with pictures was the story of Jean and Marco, the hot head and the barista, for everyone to see. They all had tiny coffee theme drinks and delicacies. Levi had Mila once again and was dancing with her to the music while Eren put whipped cream on her nose and tried to lick it off, “Nooooo! EWEN! NO stahp!” She giggled and giggled while Zadkiel walked by with Zev all dressed up and handsome. Zad looked pretty good, too. He wore the outfit Armin left him on the bed that morning.

Mike still had Nikko and Hanji was kissing his cheeks between bites of food while Erwin chased Armin around trying to pinch his bottom like Gio did Delaine all the time, “Comma here ma Bambina!” Erwin imitated him poorly and Armin giggled excitedly each time he almost got him, “NO! HAHAH ERWIN NOT MY BOOTY!” “GIMMIE YA BOOTY!” “STOP THAT’S NOT EVEN HOW HE SOUNDS!”

Ilya had [cups](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/39/fc/b6/39fcb654e8e1967df98795f097169ffa.jpg) of different drinks and was trying them all while Maxim danced around and enjoyed the festivities. Yvonne and Oulu were smiling and laughing introducing themselves with some of the italian family that had flown in. Jurek was there and he walked over to Jean, “Jeanka, no more red laces I see. You’ve got iron teeth now, too.” 

Jean paused, “How do you know about that?” Jurek shrugged, “I know things. I know these things.” He drank his espresso, “It’s a good thing, you know. To have these iron teeths, they are good. It’s a pity what always happens. I guess they had not the fear, yes?” Jean didn’t understand, “Man, go depress someone else.” He laughed and Jurek nodded, “Sorry, you are right. Too depressing for now. But, she is pretty, the Lithuanian girl.” He pointed at Hanji and Jean smiled, “Yeah, really pretty.” He didn’t understand at all what that meant but he’d file it away for after his wedding.

Sasha and Connie were laughing loudly while Mikasa and David told them about how David had been sleep walking due to some new medicine for a cold and he’d not only pillaged the fridge countless times, but he’d been picking out Mikasa’s clothing, packing them an emergency suitcase, and one morning woke up with a diaper on his head and brown stuff all over and to his relief it was nutella. Mikasa had not enjoyed cleaning the mess, however. Mikasa had Keita again and he smiled and was alert as everyone awed over his beauty. Armin pouted, “Upstaged by a baby….what even is life?” Eren joined him, “We’re so un-hot now.” “Tot un-hot.” Marco joined in, “I’m the most un-hot. I have a toddler.” They all laughed and shared some champagne.

The party was wonderful with fireworks and a sparkler send off. They had a classic [car](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/50/e4/37/50e437a8c498cb4e3bdc04485162debf.jpg) appear and took their final pictures on the [staircase](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/b7/16/02/b71602f202195a9bcb60efc80cc67980.jpg) that had been decorated to the T for the occasion. Mikasa and David had given them the most beautiful, most perfect, wedding they could have even dreamed of and all on Marco’s birthday. 

Inside of the car Marco kissed Jean all over his face, “Where to now?” “The Royal.” “Wooooow.” “Just for tonight. Then we head to Disney world. Bellamy’s going to be with his Russian family. Dedka Zad and Ilya and Maxim the gangster uncles.” Marco bounced up and down, his words punctuated by his breaths, “I AM SO EXCITED BUT SAD BECAUSE DISNEY AND BELLAMY BUT AHHHHHH I AM SO EXCITED THANK YOU I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AGGGGGHHHH!” Jean kissed him again and again, “This is the one thing I ever pulled off. Just so you know.” “But,” Marco looked at him sweetly, “You’re perfect. Everything you do is perfect.” Jean laughed shortly, “Wow, yeah, keep saying that babe.” “You mean husband.” Marco kissed his shortly and Jean smiled against his lips, “Yeah, husband.” “Bodt-Kirschstein.” “Absolutely, not. Kirschstein-Bodt.” “I’ll smother you in your sleep.” Marco said darkly and Jean paused, “Honeymoon over get out of this car you harpie!” They both fell into giggles. They’d work it out.


	146. After the Wedding

The[ hotel](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/b7/27/b9/b727b9072730b095391f3c3c5990cd04.jpg) room was everything Mikasa had assured him it would be. He thought it was a little dark but then again Marco was a little dark. Jean turned around and dropped their luggage that he’d packed with the help of Armin. Eren had remembered their electronics and Levi had washed the clothes before they were packed. Erwin had set up the honeymoon details with David and Mikasa had coordinated it all without asking him a damn thing. It was literally the most perfect wedding he could have ever had.

Now he needed to steam up his sweet husband that wasn’t always so sweet. Marco and Jean always had fun, sentimental, happy, messy, caring sex. It wasn’t that they disliked it. Not at all. But it seemed they both knew that for them it was a little mundane and how people normally ended their relationship, not begin it. Marco pulled his tie off and smirked at Kean who started to take his clothes off quickly, a little showy as his eyes smoldered. Marco cocked his head to the side, “Oh, Jean. I’m gunna need you to put that tongue ring to good use.”

Jean smirked, “Good thing I remembered to put it in.” He moved forward and pushed Marco roughly against the wall. A small “ah” escaped the back of Marco’s throat before Jean kissed him roughly. He sucked on Marco’s tongue as it entered his mouth. His hands moved to removed his jacket and shirt. Marco still had his tie in his hand and he pulled it around Jean’s neck, tying it quickly, and then using it to pull on Jean’s throat and keep him close while he whimpered and kissed him hotly.

Marco’s bottom lip was nibbled and his ass fit nicely in Jean’s hands as he hardened under his touch. Marco pushed Jean off of him and Jean pulled him back, “I’m not done with you.” He said hotly against his skin and Marco gasped as Jean’s hand went inside of his briefs and stroked him. “I’m going to fuck you, babe. I’m going to fuck you so good.” He pushed him back against the wall, “Don’t move.” Marco was panting as Jean went to get lube. He slicked his fingers and fell to his knees. Marco’s length was already wet at the tip and Jean groaned as he licked the tip, his tongue delving into the slit. Marco shuddered, “Oh, fuck yes.”

Jean opened his mouth as wide as he could, “Careful, you might choke.” Marco said smugly and Jean knew it was partially true. He took him as far back as he could, slightly gagging as it went into his throat. He’d be raw tomorrow and unable to talk but oh well. He moved slowly, humming, and his other hand stroked the base at a different rate than the way he pulled his mouth up and down the length of Marco’s cock.

Jean’s other hand made it’s way to his ass, it slicked up and down the cleft and he knew that would drive Marco insane. He loved it and he shook the entire time he did it from pleasure. His finger pushed at his entrance, teased it as he gave him some particularly strong sucks. Marco moaned and panted as he watched Jean on his knees, hair spiked and messy, nipple rings, new tattoo on his shoulder that Maxim had done. He was so fucking hot and Marco could come just at the sight of his rolled back eyes and the sounds he made nearly choking on his cock. 

He slid a finger in a worked it around until he found Marco’s prostate. He nearly undid him as he played with it and sucked him so well. The metal tongue ring made such strange sensations on Marco’s hot flesh that he found concentrating impossible. Jean put in another finger and then another till he was almost at four. Marco bucked into his mouth, whines escaping him as Jean calmed himself and sucked more.

He added a fourth finger and he felt Marco’s thighs begin to spasm and then he doubled over slightly, his taut stomach twitching. He was coming down his throat, white hot essence and Jean loved it. He loved the taste of him, the feeling of him. Marco was pulling on the tie till Jean removed his fingers and stood up, kissing him with sloppy open mouth kisses full of tongue and teeth.

Marco pushed him back towards the chair for the desk and sat Jean on it. He pulled his briefs off and admired his swollen red and purple cock. Jean smirked and Marco pulled the tie through his hands, “You’re a bad boy, Jean.” Jean laughed, “Yeah. You make me be bad, babe.” Marco placed his hands on the back of the chair and leaned over to kiss him sensually. He moved down to his neck and then he moved over his lap in the chair. One hand guided Jean’s cock towards his entrance and the other pinched and pull on one of his nipple piercings making Jean hiss and buck up wildly. He lowered himself onto him hissing while he tortured Jean’s nipples.

Jean moaned and soon Marco’s hips were circling and pistoning. He started to thrust up into Marco trying to find his prostate again. He kissed him over and over until Jean started to whine. He had his hands on Marco’s ass, gripping and kneading the mounds. Marco was very turned on at the entire thing. He leaned back, watched Jean’s cock disappear into him in the mirror over the desk they were at. He got off on it all, big time, and so did Jean.

Jean pulled out, coming in the cleft of his ass and then he pushed back in. Marco moaned as they panted against one another trying to come down from their high. 

They were on fire for each other, dirting the bed, the sofas, the bathroom. Jean eventually laid down on the patio outside sighing, “I think we’re in our honeymoon phase.” Marco chuckled slowly, “Oh, yeah. I mean, I’ve always been hot for you but this is like….Oh God Hahahahaahahahahha!” Jean stared, “What?!” “We’re so catholic. We’ve been having sex outside of marriage and I think it was so un-sexy because we knew we were sinning.” Jean sighed, rolling his eyes, “OH MY GOD YOU THINK IT WAS CATHOLIC GUILT!” “YES!” Jean rolled off the couch outside and kissed him in the chair, “I love you, Marco. I love you so much.”He smiled, “I love you. I can’t wait to GO TO DISNEY WORLD!”

**************

Erwin had arranged for a car service to drive them to disney world and then while they were there. Jean had tried to prevent that but it was made a wedding gift so he could not have denied Commander I Take Care of Every One the pleasure. Marco climbed inside making photos for instagram and sending them off to Armin and Eren who he had a group chat with. “Jean, OMG LOOK AT THIS FILTER!” Marco and Jean took a myriad of photos and sprawled out for the nearly seven hours to get there.

**A few hours later….**

“Babe?” Jean said softly.

Marco looked over from his blanket fort between the seats, “Yeah?”

”I gotta pee again.”

“Noooo Jean...we’re in heavy traffic.”

“BUT BABE!”

“Pee in here or something.”

Marco looked for a bottle or something. “Jean,” he was repressing a smirk, “babe, all we got is this tiny cup.”

“BABE!”

“Just do it! I’ll hold it.”

Jean started to pee, “I’ll fill it up too fast!” “JEAN TAKE IT TO THE WINDOW!” “COME WITH ME!” “NOOO MY KNEES! I CAN’T MOVE THAT FAST!” “BABE IT’S OVERFLOWING!” “HERE HERE HERE HERE” “AHHHHHHHH I CAN’T CUT IT OFF!” Jean was pouring the pee out the window, “THE DEPOSIT!” Marco cupped his hands together catching the pee that threatened the upholstery and large deposit till he put the cup back, “I AM SO METAL!” Marco tossed the pee out and started to faux cry, “I’M SO METAL BUT YUCKKKKK!” Jean was laughing so hard, “TOO METAL FOR ME PISSY PEE HANDS!” “SHUT UP THIS IS TRUE LOVE!”

They got some clorox wipes out of their honeymoon bag Levi made them and wiped Marco’s hands off, “I love you babe, so metal.” Marco nodded and kissed him, “Mmmm yeah, I’m so metal. Let’s fool around.” Jean’s muffled laughter against his lips tickled him, “Hand jobs in a limo.” Marco smiled, “And all on the Smith dollar. Fuck yes!”

Marco pulled Jean on top of him, “Mmmm put your rings on.” Jean laughed, “Damn, that’s so fucking hot.” He started stroking Marco as he searched for lube, “I want to have so much sex that we’re sick of each other.” Jean cackled, “THAT IS A PLAN!”

Marco and Jean finished right before their driver made the announcement they were almost inside of the resort. Jean eventually checked them in, they had a quickie, and then went to have dinner. Marco danced with the other guests and managed to get Jean to join him after a few drinks. They kissed on the dance floor, their hands traveled across each other’s bodies.

When they got back to the room they called Gio and Delaine to make sure that Maxim and Ilya, they were staying with them that night to ease Bellamy into the “no parents for a week” routine and they said it was all going well and Bellamy was asleep and happy. They were both a little sad he wasn’t upset and then felt bad when they confessed that to each other.

Marco ended up with Jean’s cock in his mouth, moaning around him like a whore as Jean sucked him off in a 69 with his fingers in his ass and didn’t feel so much like a bad parent as he did a newly awoke and hungry cock slut. Jean’s tattoo moved with his muscles when he moved out of their position and pulled Marco into his lap, slamming into him and fucking him roughly and thoroughly. Marco was knocked breathless with each thrust as his arms were crossed behind Jean’s neck, “Oh, Jean, fuck.” Jean kissed him hotly, “Fuck, babe, you’re so gorgeous. You’re like a really sexy baguette.” Marco laughed but still thought it was kind of hot, “Oh yeah, I’m always long and hard for you.” Jean smothered his mouth with his, “I fucking love you.”

When they lay in the bed afterwards Marco traced his tattoo, “I love you.” Jean smiled, “I love you.” “We’re married.” “Yeah. SHIT…..life is real.” “Ohhhh Jean stop being so allergic to commitments.” “Let’s have another baby.” Marco paused, “Woah….um let me sleep on that.” “WHO’S SCARED NOW!?” Marco hit him with a pillow, “HUSH AND GO TO SLEEP!” 

Jean turned and moved closer, “You know my tattoo says “Vous voulez la paix: créez l’amour.” If you want peace: create love.” He smirked and Marco snorted, “I hate you.”

**************

The next morning they had breakfast and decided to go to Epcot. Marco and Jean held hands and walked around and around looking at all the shops and restaurants. It was hot but they could deal and then suddenly they found themselves in line for an interactive movie to get out of the heat. Jean looked around, “No…” He said incredulously, “that man….looks like…” Marco was staring, “That child.” They moved out of the line and over to a stand where two men were standing with a child. They had sunglasses on and hats. “MAXIM! ILYA!” 

Maxim turned and had an expression of numb annoyance, “Yes, I tell Ilya this would not work.” Bellamy was holding Ilya’s hand, “PAPA! DADDY!” He ran to Marco who scooped him up, “Ooooooo Daddy missed you!” “I miss you.” “I missed you, too!” “Bell!” “PAPA!” “PAPA LOVES YOU!” “I LOVE YOU!” “YAY!” Jean kissed him and Ilya smiled, “No harm, no foul. We are here for vacation. Maxim only agreed because of Bellamy.” Maxim shrugged, “I’m not going to deny a child.”

Jean snorted, “Well, as long as it’s y’all then we can deal. Kind of glad little dude is here with us.”

Marco hissed, “EREN! I SEE YOU!” Eren dropped his ice cream on the pavement narrowly missing Nikko’s head, “OHOhohohoOHOHO Well, you see, what happened was,” Levi was covered in white sunscreen and running around the corner sneering , “BRAT PUT SOME SUNSCREEN ON THIS PLACE IS THE SEVENTH LAYER OF HELL RIGHT NEXT TO ALL THE FIRE AND SHIT!” He hit Eren playfully and then saw Jean, “See, I told Erwin this was shit.”

Armin and Erwin appeared with bear claws in their mouth. Jean lurched towards them, “CAUGHT RED HANDED! ERWIN SMITH THIS REEKS OF YOUR DOING!” Armin looked up at him, “The jigs up, daddy.” He made sure Zev’s hat was on well and Eren finished putting sunscreen on his face and Nikko. “Are David and…” Mikasa came around the corner, “Yep. We got roped in by Erwin.” Erwin smiled without apologizing or admitting guilt of any kind, David laughed, “BUT THIS IS SO GREAT!” He had trinkets and flyers, “WE CAN DO SO MUCH!” “Achki!” Levi began, “I need you to help me figure out what the fuss is about. Don’t go insane.” David nodded, “I am rather excited.” Mikasa smiled, “Yeah, Keita isn’t even that excited.” Keita bounced in his carrier on his chest, “Keita is extremely excited.”

Jean and Marco smiled and they all told them they felt that if they tried hard enough they could avoid each other but Marco and Jean said that was ridiculous. They would all enjoy the vacation and Bellamy would just sleep with Ilya and Maxim.

They all were happy with that and knew that the next week would be full enough of excitement for them all.

Maybe even a few dinosaurs and laughs?

Who knew?


	147. Disney Dino

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Super smol

Armin sat down on the picnic bench under all of the green leaves and lifted Zev’s large hat, “Hey,” he smiled with such love it made his cheeks hurt. Zev was alert and looked at him smiling, “Hey! Hey little poottle pooter! I love you! Vati loves you!” Zev blew bubbles, smiling and laughing. He kicked and moved his hands while Armin kept speaking with him in hushed love noises. He kissed his son all over and when he sneezed he felt the bench shift, “OH! Little hootle doofle! GESUNDHEIT!” Erwin leaned over and bopped his nose with the tip of his finger.

Erwin was smiling, “Whatcha want for breakfast, baby?” Armin shrugged shyly and Erwin leaned over kissing him all over his neck while Armin giggled and Zev moved happily, “He knows his daddy.” Armin leaned into Erwin and Erwin smiled brightly, “His daddy loves him so much.” He removed his hat, “We’re in the shade.” Armin gave him a terribly fierce look, “THE UVS!” He hissed and Levi sat down with a ticket in his hand, “Breakfast is on me.” Eren was drinking some pink vitamin water that Levi had made fun of all morning and sat down with a thud, “I mean, it’s really shady here. At least until we finish eating.” 

Armin bit his lip, clearly uncomfortable, “L-levi?” Levi blinked, “It’s dark enough where you’re sitting.” Erwin kissed him and then Zev. “Where’s Nikko?” There was nothing but silence.

Levi blinked and then blinked again, “Oops. I don’t know.” He said monotone and serious. Erwin stood up suddenly, look of terror on his face, “DO YOU NOT KNOW WHERE-” Eren burst into tears, he was covering his face in sheer panic and sorrow, “OH GOD NO!” Armin was screaming, screaming and clutching Zev, “OHMEHGWADNO!” Levi leaned back and slammed his hands on the table, “Just kidding, he’s with Mikasa.”

They all paused and Erwin hit Levi with a rolled newspaper, “FUCK YOU LEVI!” Levi snorted, “Don’t curse the man who paid for your breakfast.”

Jean and Marco sat down with Bellamy running behind him, “HOWLD ON!” Jean turned around, “Bye Bell, you’ll never catch us!” Bellamy’s face was horrified, “NOOOOOOO!” Marco hit him, “That’s so mean!” Jean snickered, “Run Bellamy, run!” Bellamy tried his best but little kids just can’t run well. Levi laughed so hard and when he got to the table Jean put his arms down but Bellamy bypassed them to head to Levi, “Leevee!” Levi picked him up and kissed him. His heart lurched for how much he sounded like Mila when he said his name. He missed her.

Bellamy patted Levi’s arm, “I love you.” Levi started to tear up, “Too early for all that, now.” Eren smiled, “Awwwww you made Levi so happy.” Bellamy inspected his face and then turned back to Eren, “He crwy?” Eren nodded, “Yeah, because he’s happy. These are happy tears.” Bellamy looked back at Levi who was trying to blink his tears away. He touched his cheek, “Hawppy tears?” Marco smiled, “Very happy tears.” He patted Jean, “But papa has sad tears.” He said with a smirk. 

Jean was pouting and Bellamy’s eyebrows raised, “Sad!?” Marco snickered as Jean covered his face, “Yes, he's very sad.” Bellamy looked at Eren, “Howld me?” Eren started to cackle as Jean pulled his hands away from his face, “BELL! PAPA IS SAD!” He replied plainly, stating a fact, “Not weally.” Eren lurched forward, “BURN! BUUUURN!” Everyone was doubled over from laughter. 

Mikasa and David walked up with Nikko and Keita. Mikasa was kissing on Nikko, “He's so sweet.” Armin smiled, “He really is the sweetest baby.” Erwin pulled Armin even closer, “Just like Levi.” Mikasa smiled, “Just like Eren with animals.” David smiled and kissed Levi on both cheeks, “We are so blessed, achki.” Levi nodded, “We are.” Their food appeared and they all started eating. 

Armin looked around, “Where are Ilya and Maxim?” Erwin smirked, “Sex.” Armin snorted, “At least someone's getting laid.” Eren made an “uh oh” face, “Are you not?” “Nope.” “But we…” “Nope. I’m basically a marriage of convenience and he has a mistress, namely,” Armin looked pointedly at Levi, “you,” and then Eren, “and you.” Eren was shoving food into his mouth, “But...I haven’t slept with him in forever.” Levi moved uncomfortably, “Nor have I.” Armin turned, “Are you saving up so your sperm will be super fertile?” Erwin finished his orange juice, “I’m just...I don’t know….I foolishly thought you’d not notice.” “Even Zev noticed.” “Armin, goodness.” “He is angry.” “He is a BABY!” :HIS VATI NEEDS ATTENTION! GIVE ME ATTENTION!”

Mikasa and David ate their fruit and then David smirked, “I have lots of sex. Just thought I’d put it out there. I felt left out.” Mikasa chuckled and gave Nikko the bottle from her backpack, “Is your breast milk okay for him?” She blinked, “Yeah, it’s fine.” “But, like….is it like blood?” Eren said shyly and Jean nodded, “Yeah like that’s your nectar….” “My _what?_ ” David was smiling so badly she popped him, “No more sex.” “MAMI!” 

After a finishing their meal Maxim and Ilya showed up. Ilya was so excited, “I hear they have the dinosaurs!” Levi slightly moved and David lifted his head. Maxim looked strange before venturing, “Like...the movie….jurassic….park?” Ilya smiled, “DA!” Maxim sighed, “I want to see the cats.” Armin smiled, “ME TOO!” They all made plans and split up in the animal kingdom.

***************

Jean jumped up and down, “WE’RE NEXT!” Eren was humming with Nikko bouncing on his chest, “You sittin this out?” Levi nodded, “Uh, yeah, I’m going on the dino roller coaster so give me Nikko.” Eren pouted and scoffed, “THAT’S FOR BABIES!” Levi kissed him to shut him up, “And Armin and I have the babies so you maniac brats can ride this death trap. Erwin, you better watch your old rickety ass. You should kiss your husband, too!” Erwin avoided eye contact and Armin scoffed, “Hurtful.” Erwin tried to kiss him as he walked by in a last ditch attempt to placate him but he pulled away, “You’re ridiculous.” Armin and Levi went to the roller coaster while Bellamy played in the sandbox digging up dinosaur bones with Ilya till they joined them. 

Armin and the others got on the dinosaur ready to ride.

Erwin and the others got on the safari cheetah themed roller coaster and prepared for an awesome time.

Levi and them went up the hill. He looked at Bellamy and smiled, “Hold on, Bellka!”

Eren looked over at Jean as they climbed, “Don’t cry, little bitch.” Marco started singing, “IT’S THE CLIIIIIIMB!”

Armin kissed the top of Zev’s head.

Maxim put his finger in Erwin’s ear and laughed.

Ilya pulled on his lap bar, “This is child’s restraint. I am grown.”

Erwin didn’t really fit in his harness, “I might die today.

Mikasa hummed, “Keita, look at the dinosaurs!” They started down the hill, “OHHHH!” She smiled as Keita kicked happily, a little afraid.

Marco screeched as they went over the edge, “YOU SAID IT DIDN’T HAVE ANY LOOOOOOOOOOOOOPSSSSSSSSSSSS-!”

Levi smiled as they went over the first little hill, “OH!” Nikko moved, eyes open and soft smile on his face as Levi kissed the top of his head, “I love you little motek.”

Jean’s eyelids were pulled back and his eyes were dry.

Armin laughed because Zev was laughing.

Eren screamed as they went into the first loop, “TOO MUCH!”

David smiled, “This is so delightful!”

Marco was in tears, “NOOOO THIS IS HELL!”

They stopped at the top and all of the kids were bouncing as it gave the riders a full tour of where the dinosaurs roamed!

Jean and Eren were upside down in the loop as the gears grinded to a stop. Maxim was screeching. The speaker clicked, “ATTENTION, EMERGENCY STOP! DO NOT PANIC!” Erwin was wheezing, “I’M NOT IN THIS HARNESS OH GOD!” He was falling out and Maxim was trying to hold the bar down while he screeched.

Armin moved in his seat, “Wow this little bar sure is snug. I’m not going anywhere.”

Eren was crying, “Erwin, if you die….” Erwin was freaking out, “What, Eren!?” Eren wipe his face, “Who gets the plane?” Jean was pissed, “EREN!” 

David took a selfie with Levi, “This is a memory I will cherish!”

Jean was red in the face, “I don’t want to die like this. I never want to remember this!”

Levi kissed Armin, “I love you, mami. I love when you make me try new things.”

Marco, “Jean, if we die, I want these to be my last words: I HATE WHEN YOU MAKE ME DO THINGS I DON’T WANT TO DO! MY BLOOD IS UPON YOU!”

Zev laughed and so did Nikko.

Maxim was praying in a coordinated attempt with Marco to bring the holy ghost in and save them when the ride began again and Erwin started to laugh hysterically in relief.

Both rides ended at the same time.

David smiled, “Let’s do that again.”

Erwin was wheezing, “NEVER AGAIN!”

*******************

When Armin walked up to Erwin he turned his nose up, “You stink...why are you so sweaty?” Erwin looked dead in the eyes, “I almost died today and realized I hadn’t completely taken Levi off of everything.” Armin looked vicious, “I will smother you in your sleep if you don’t make me your right proper husband!” He looked at Armin, “What else, daddy?” Erwin cringed, eyes full of tears, “I was then thinking about the other baby.” Everyone paused and Levi and Eren cringed. 

Mikasa and David had their mouths open, “What….” Maxim finished for Ilya, “You are having another baby?” Armin looked at him, “Um...we put the fertilized egg in and we’ll know if it took when we get back.” Mikasa looked at Eren, “You two are doing it, too!” Eren cringed, “Yeah.” Levi was red in the face, “But we don’t know if it’ll take so we’d rather not discuss it, please.” Marco and Jean exchanged looks and everyone tried to not pry. Armin turned back to Erwin, his voice low and dangerous, pointed and muffled through clenched teeth, “Get. Me. On. Everything. Or. You. Will. DIE.”

******************

Jean and Marco ate ice cream with Bellamy after lunch at a cafe. Marco saw Jean lean over and ask Bellamy something. Bellamy put his napkin down, “Daddy?” “Yes?” “I love you.” Jean cleared his throat, “Wouldn’t it be nice to have another little person who loved us?” Marco gave him a warning look, “Jean…” “But all the others are having one!” “I DON’T WANT TO DISCUSS THIS RIGHT NOW!” Jean shrugged, “Cool….but you did bring a toddler home and I was cool with it…” Marco sighed, “UGHHHH.”

****************

Mikasa and David were smiling as they rode in the tea cups. “Don’t you love this!” Mikasa covered Keita’s head with her hand, “I do, but look, they now have some that turn for you. Let’s do it. My hands hurt.” He frowned a little but relented, “What mami wants, mami gets.” She thought he was the most perfect man in the world. They let the tea cup turn on it’s own and cuddled up to each other for a while. But, they soon realized that the teacups were not stopping any time soon.

Mikasa gave David a scared look, “I’m nauseous.” “There’s a kill switch.” “What? How do you know that?!” David gave her a serious look, “Bob’s burgers.” Mikasa snorted, ‘Well, do it. Keita shouldn’t keep being spun like this.” The other riders were weak and David knew he had to save them all. He was a king in his own way. These were his people.

He fell rather ungracefully out of the cup and started to groan, “THIS WAS A MISTAKE!” Mikasa laughed, “Save us!” David crawled and groaned the entire time, “THIS IS DANGEROUS!” “Save us!” David felt nauseous, “I’m not strong like Linda…”

He crawled looking for the kill switch and then he saw it, “I fucking knew it.” The ride continued to spin out of control and he heard a few people say, “He’s pulling a bob’s burgers.” And then the rain fall of water bottles abused his skin and made him feel like he was back in the field in Israel going through training all over again. Eventually, he hit the button in and heard the collective sighs from the children _and adults_ that wanted to knock the button with their bottles.

Mikasa picked her husband up and put ice on his bottle bruised body, “That was hot.” She said softly and he snorted, “Wanna try to have another baby?” She gave him an unamused look, “You must have hit your head.” He pulled her closer, “Pleeeease.” He kissed her cheek, “All the other kids are doing it!” She rolled her eyes, “No.” “Please?” “No.” “Pleeeeaaaaaase, my beautiful mami.” “No. We have this perfect child right here.” She picked him up and shoved his cheek against his father’s, “HE’S PERFECT!” David laughed, “Takes after his mother.” Mikasa nodded, “Damn right he does.”

***************

“This isn’t a roller coaster, right?” Armin asked Eren incredulously. Eren sighed exasperatedly, “NO! LOSER!” Levi looked at the giant doors hidden in the leaves, “It’s a boat ride?” Erwin sighed, “YESSSSS!” Armin and Levi did not do roller coasters and Maxim and Ilya were excited, “So...can dinosaurs be brought back?” Jean looked at Ilya, ‘Yes….and we must never let that happen.”

David and Mikasa decided to sit in the back with Levi and Eren while Armin sat in front with Erwin and Ilya and Maxim. Marco and Jean sat in front and their boat was full. They were happy no one else got on with them.

They started through the forest and it was beautiful. Armin bounced Zev and Erwin kissed him and Armin sweetly while pointing out various creatures. Maxim was smiling, “I like this place.” And Ilya was kissing his neck, “I like you.” Jean held Bellamy’s hand and Marco’s, “I love y’all.”

They went around and around and Eren let his hand drag in the water. Levi kissed his shoulder, “I feel like we’re going uphill.” Armin nodded, “Me too.” Erwin opened his pamphlet, “Oh, it says it’s so large that it goes uphill. Look baby.” They started to look at the details when they came to two huge wooden doors that opened. It was a black abyss that greeted them. Maxim’s eyes widened, “No, not this.” A raptor jumped out and made them all jump, “THIS IS NOT FAMILY APPROVED!” David covered Keita with his hat. Armin started to shake, “I CANNOT WITH THOSE RAPTORS!” Erwin shuddered, “That green jello.” Mikasa looked around, “Why were we all excited about dinosaurs? They never were friends with the humans…”

Levi sighed, “I guess this is the time to do it.” He was holding Nikko and turned to Eren, “Eren?” The screeches of the raptors filled the darkened space. Eren was terrified, “Yeah?” His voice shaky. Levi inhaled sharply while Armin whined, “Nooooo WE’RE CLIMBING!” Ilya was taking pictures with his phone, “LOOK MAXI ONE IS IN THE CEILING! SILLY DINO, THAT’S NOT WHERE YOU SHOULD BE!” Levi leaned closer, “I’ve never ever seen Jurassic park and I don’t know who Peter Pan is, Mobly, Jasmine, none of them.”

Eren’s face was the literal definition of shock, “BUT YOU SAID YOU DID!” Levi was dead panned, “I lied.” Eren’s mouth popped open as he screamed with the others as the fell down an almost 95 degree angle waterfall while a giant Trex popped out of the ceiling nearly scaring Ilya and Maxim to death. All of their faces were the recreation of the capture of the female titan and Eren would never recover from the shock he had sustained.

*******************

The castle in the back was magical all lit up with fireworks. Bellamy smiled brightly and Jean and Marco made out enjoying the atmosphere. Maxim held Ilya’s hand while eating cotton candy. Armin was happy to have Zev out without a huge hat covering him from everything and Erwin held him in his arms against his chest peppering his face, neck, anything really of Armin’s with kisses. Levi and David wore mickey mouse ears as Mikasa and Eren took photos of them and their sons. It was turning out to be a pretty great honeymoon in Jean and Marco’s opinion. 


	148. Blackmail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's almost all smut. I just wanted to write smut.

Eren was on Levi’s computer because his had a virus. He told Levi and was immediately treated like a criminal, “I told you to stop playing on those game sites Jean sends you!” Eren had rolled his eyes, sighing dramatically, falling on the floor near Nikko and Zev who were now rolling over and trying to crawl. They loved being together in their little pack and play and their parents loved watching them in it. It was coming up on six months. Their babies were almost a year old. Eren might cry because of the thought.

He clicked the file that his mouse had hovered over for almost thirty minutes. He had found it by accident and he was dying to know what was inside of it. Okay, maybe he’d actually been snooping on his husband’s computer but he really was terrified what he might find. Levi was a mystery even after going on almost four years. Damn….he got married and had kids and a house fast….he did everything at breakneck speed. Well, that’s kind of his style. He clicked the folder and when it opened he squinted. _What the fuck are these?_

Eren stared like he was offended, “Levi, have you been filming Nikko?” There had been a few short clips of Nikko they'd taken but those were in Nikko’s folder and Eren was the main one who filmed Nikko and Zev. These were blurry looking icons of unidentifiable things. He hesitated and clicked one. 

It was everyone’s luck that the volume would be on blast when they were trying to watch something on the down low. It was like metal, bad pop music, and demons were all thrown into a bag and slammed against a tin roof. Eren nearly jumped out of his skin as his stomach dropped, “Ffffffffuuuuuck,” said slowly, lowly, through his clenched jaw as his finger pushed down on the volume button on the side till it was off. Eren hoped he wouldn’t need the sound. 

Eren sat behind the computer and watched the first video, the second, then the third and then he pulled out his flash drive and tried to copy all of the nearly 100 videos over.

A pop up appeared and he was glad the demonic trumpet sound alert system was off. 

This folder is password protected!

Eren started shaking in his seat, “Nooooooo,” he whined and started gritting his teeth, “Nooooooooooooo I need this!” He kept trying to drag it over and the box kept appearing . He could mentally hear the computer beep of damnation and it pissed him off further. He was red in the face and checked his watch. He closed the file and quickly ran out looking for Armin. 

Armin was sleepy eyed and on his bed where he'd flopped. Zev had a checkup and he had an ear infection which is why he was so fussy all the time lately. His eyesight hadn’t improved and they were still talking surgery. Hanji had gone with him since Erwin was teaching at the college and couldn't go. She had explained in endless detail all she could. He sensed something was off with her and Levi still and her moving was a topic that Armin never brought up with him. 

Now, Eren was ripping him off the bed, “I have found something amazing but it's password protected please use your beautiful brain and I will share this magical thing with you.” Armin's socks slid on the wood floor as he was pushed into the office. Eren sat him down, “Password for Levi, GO!” Armin blinked and slowly typed. 

When he was stumped Eren nearly lost faith until he hit the keys one more time and opened it. Eren drug the files over and then took out the flash drive squealing like a banshee, “YOU AND ME, THE TINY HOUSE!” Armin gave him an angry look, “Our children!” Eren stopped, “Bring them with?” “Zev is sick!” Armin stomped his foot and then started to cry. Eren brought him to him and held him. He knew Armin was just exhausted. “Okay, your room but the important bedding.” “Wow….really?” “Yes, we bought it for luxury and you need it. I love you and hate when you cry.” “I hate when my baby is sick.” “Yeah, I do too.”

********

Eren finished making the bed up while Armin watched the babies in their pack and play, “She wore,” Eren began to sing, “blue velvet…” He smirked and Armin turned, “Except I'm gunna wear pink.” The new bedspread was pink velvet and Eren had bought it for Armin during Purim but forgot to give it to him.

He walked over to Armin and smiled, “They good?” Armin nodded, “Yeah, they’ll fall asleep soon for their afternoon nap.” “I told Levi to go pick up some stuff Hanji had for us.” “That's….kind of cruel, Eren. There's something not right between them.” Eren nodded, “Exactly. Told Erwin to pick dinner up for us all, too. I'm hoping Levi stays at Hanji's and they work it out.” He pulled Armin to the bed, “I just want them to be close again.” Armin got in the covers, “Maybe you're right, Eren.” He paused, “Woah….I must be wrong if you're saying that now that I think about it.” he snorted and snuggled under the covers with Armin. 

Eren moved on his side and showed Armin the file he sent to his phone, “This is going to blow your mind.” Armin looked excited but tired, “Are they films of our family?” Eren tried to keep a poker face by biting his lip, “Ummmm sort of.” “Oh,” Armin perked up, “then we should make a slide show! Or a family DVD.” Eren was laughing, “Ohhhh well, let's see if you still want to do that after you watch it.”

Eren hit the play button and left the sound off. Armin’s eyes squinted as he watched and then it was like stages of awe, of flabbergasted exponential mind blowing were on display across his entire face. Armin grabbed the phone and looked at Eren for a second, “Oh,” he looked more, “my,” he pressed the phone nearly on his nose, “God.” Armin turned to Eren, “Do we dare put the sound on?” Eren’s face was flushed, “I mean….Zev and Nehemiah won’t remember, right?” “We like do stuff when they’re in the room so no, you know?” Armin nodded and hit the sound. Both of them turned red, “Think God they have no mother’s to kiss with those mouths.”

It seemed they were in some sort of bathroom stall. Erwin was on his knees and both internally cringed because the wall was stained with some sort of green slime. Armin squinted again, “Have you ever noticed that at the really really slummy places they don’t just have the yellow nicotine they have like waterpipe green and blue stains?” Eren nodded, “Oh keep watching.” _“Open your mouth little bitch.”_ Both boys felt an electric current run through them, _“Come on, open that pretty cock hungry mouth of your’s you little sissy.”_

Levi’s cock moved into Erwin’s mouth. His face was shiny, “Um, w-w-w-hy is he?” Armin said rather hot under the covers. Eren inhaled sharply, very turned on, “He appears to be covered in come.” Armin squirmed, “I can’t. This is too steamy for my housewife love life of no sex and baby duty.” Erwin was choking, face turning red, and then a little purple, _“You’re such a weak little sissy bitch.”_ Levi’s fingers carded through his hair and then pulled keeping Erwin on him, barely breathing, as he came. _“Shit, that’s right, dirty little bitch, taste it, taste me. You’re pathetic and you crave me. I’m going to break you.”_

Eren and Armin were squirming, “Play another.” They chose an older one and they felt like they’d hit a gold mine. Countless videos of Erwin and Levi in the most degrading situations recorded by one another for obviously either their own use or for…. “Do you think this is for guilt?” Eren said with a smirk, “Oh, this is blackmail.” Armin was in the covers like an eskimo in an igloo and Eren turned to him, “Look at this one.”

There was a boat and Erwin’s heavy footsteps. The light on the camera illuminated the white floor and red sides. It was wooden and echoed. The tips of black leather from the tops of boots sometimes came into the view of the camera, _“Well, don’t you just look pretty.”_ Levi was tied in ropes by the door that led to the deck house, “How dumb you are to test your Commander.” He walked towards Levi who was on his knees, “Lick my boot, captain. You’ve put other nasty things in that mouth. I’m sure it’ll taste better than that sewer water you’re used to drinking. They’re armani.’” Erwin chuckled and made his voice higher, patronizing, “That’s what money tastes like.”

They watched as Erwin humiliated Levi and then tied him to the windshield of the boat on display for the world to see. Levi’s face shamed and Eren and Armin had never seen that. He cut him down hours later, let him fall on the wood. Levi couldn’t really move, _“Oh, the little felon can’t seem to walk very well. Here, let your commander carry you with come leaking out of your ass back to base for all the men to see.”_ And he did and Eren and Armin both covered their face with the blankets and squirmed and screamed because they had never seen that side of Erwin either. Who had they actually married?

Armin pulled the blanket down, “We’ve got to use this against them.” Eren nodded, “YEAAAAH!” They played another video and Armin started to smirk, “Well, I see that Levi started to match Erwin in his sadism.” Eren bit his lip, “Aşkım (my love), let’s do this…” Armin smiled kissing his cheek before rolling out of the bed to check on the babies, “Bi tanem (my only one), that is savage AF.”

*******************

Erwin was staring at his desk in lethargy. He didn’t want to move. He let his body collapse on the desk in front of him, face on the papers. They were cool and smooth but some of the edges made his face tense up. Once you’ve had a papercut you never want one again. His phone vibrated and he pulled it out. It was an unknown number. He normally didn’t answer but he saw it was a text message. He downloaded the attachment. So what if it ruined his phone? He had like seven of them he hid just in case. His stomach sank as he saw the video.

Erwin watched as he was on display on his back of the barrack floor, pink lacey panties in his mouth as he slid a pink dildo in and out himself. His lips were red from lipstick, eyes looked like he’d been punched from the mascara and eyeshadow running down them. He was whining, cock leaking, and Levi’s boot pinning it to his stomach as he tried to keep working the dildo in his ass and not scream through the panties. 

He didn’t understand how someone got this and he was freaking the fuck out.

*******************

Levi was in the driveway of Hanji’s house and had been sitting there for almost an hour. She had come to the window a few times and then went on with her day. His phone vibrated and he jumped, Donner was panting in the back and he knew they needed to get the fuck out of the car. Even with the windows down he was getting hot. He opened his phone, saw the unknown number, ran a scan on the attachment, and then opened it.

It was one of the worst things he’d ever done. Erwin had forced him to work a glory hole and then he’d filmed it. It had pushed him to his limits, nearly broken him. He’d luckily found out who had serviced it and that they were clean but then Erwin made it his own little personal glory hole where Levi was forced to take his cock whenever he wanted him too. He kept him locked in that stall for almost two days. Right now he was watching from Erwin’s point of view his lips spread over his cock and the sounds of his hard sucking made him blush in the car. He did like sucking Erwin’s massive cock but then the video cut away to him forcing him to take another guys come down his throat by pushing his face against the nasty cut out hole and keeping him pinned there, _“That’s right, be a good captain and serve your purpose, service your men.”_

He got out, put the phone in the cup holder and took Donner’s leash and headed towards the door.

******************

Levi sat on the floor while Mila brought him toys and books to have him read from, play with, or just hold. She cuddled into him and told him she loved him. Mike sat at the table and smiled, “So, we told Erwin we’d make everything like it was but he said to just not care. He’s not going to rent it or anything. Hanji’s still cleaning up a lot of the rooms and putting them back in order. Mila doesn’t uhhh she doesn’t know yet, you know? Because we don’t want her to realize that L E V I might not be around much.” Levi was thoroughly depressed as he put Mila in his lap while she looked at her book and played with the textures on the pages, “Yeah…” Mike frowned, “Sorry, Levi. I’m sorry.” Mike left his desk and walked over crouching down, “You know it’s not forever.”

Levi was dying inside, “C-can you take her?” Mike nodded and took her from him. Mike was cool, Mike was calm, Mike was a great father. Mike was a great friend. Levi was a piece of shit. “I’m supposed to get some things from Hanji.” Mike looked puzzled, but then he remembered, “Oh! Yeah, she’s been gardening and has some canned stuff Eren and Armin want. Just go out back and she’ll get ‘em for you.” When Levi stood up Mike had let Mila down to head to her play room. He enveloped Levi into a huge bear hug, lifting him up and smiling, “I really love you, Levi.” Levi started to cry, “I love you, too.”

******************

In the back Hanji was dressed softly in white cotton. She had her hair pulled back and when he appeared she smiled self consciously, “I’ve got the jars right there next to you.” Levi looked down and saw them, “Thanks.” She went back to pulling weeds and he didn’t speak anymore.

When he left he opened one of the jars of pickles and ate one. He cried as he chewed, making turns casually as he went home. His phone buzzed but he was lost for a second. Lost in his own world thinking of the girl brought before the hill of crosses.

*****************

Erwin picked up some food and heard his phone ring again. He opened it while waiting for his order to fill in his car away from prying eyes. This time he was tied to the bed, Levi fucking him roughly from behind while he told him how much he hated him and how inadequate he was. Erwin was hot, really hot. But, he was scared. Who the fuck had these? He called Levi.

It rang and rang until he picked up.

”Mhm?”

“Have you...are you crying?”

“What the fuck do you want?!”

“Someone...has our-”

“The films, I know. I don’t understand how.”

“Where are you?” 

“Driving.” 

“Fuck Lee….meet me in the Earth Fair parking lot.”

“No.” 

“Okay, see you in five minutes.”

Levi pulled up a little later and stepped out with Donner, “Look.”

He showed the newest video where Erwin had Levi on his stomach, ass up, his fingers inside of him while he was covered in degrading writings about using him like the little slut he was. Levi and Erwin watched and then Erwin bumped into him, “I kind of want to fuck you.” Levi looked at him unamused, “Really….we’re being blackmailed and you want to fuck?” “Blackmailed?” “Haven’t you read the text with the attachment?” “Uhhhh I’ve been watching the movies and reminiscing.” “They want money, Erwin.” “How much?” “Oh just 1 million dollars.” “Can we fuck?” “Can you not be you for a second?” “Why were you crying?” Levi rolled his eyes, “I'm going to say this once and only once, leave me the fuck alone.” Erwin was wounded and he was upset, “Lee…..I love you.” Levi frowned, “Go get the food.”

**********************

When they got home Levi was exhausted. They opened the chinese food containers and sat down calling the boys to dinner. Their phones buzzed again with videos and they tried to silence them accordingly. Eren had Nikko and Armin had Zev. Levi and Erwin both plated their food in order for Armin to change Zev and Eren to warm bottles for them. “Little Nehemiah,” Nikko smiled and Eren did too, “are you going to eat like your baba?” Armin snorted, “Zev is to be honest. Boy can drain two bottles like nothing.” Another buzz and Erwin slapped his hand on his phone, face losing control, “How have you two been today?”

Eren and Armin sat down and passed their children to their husbands. Levi was so happy to see his son and so was Erwin. Erwin kissed all over Zev’s face, “Zevka, I heard you have an ear infection but your weight is the highest in it’s class and you’re strong and the best baby in the world.” Armin looked over, “I think you added the last part but I agree.” Levi kissed Nikko and bounced him, “I think Nikko is the best.” Eren smiled, “Awwww he is. He’s my little Levi.” He kissed Levi and kept eating. After a while they all finished and went to bathe their children and settle them in for their night time routines.

*********************

Erwin’s phone and Levi’s phone had gone off multiple times and now Levi was sighing as Erwin tried to convince them they needed to call the FBI, “The worst thing that can happen is it ends up online.” Erwin’s face was aghast, “AND THEN WE WILL BE RUINED!” Levi stared, “I hate you.” Erwin paused and Levi offered another suggestion, “Let’s just agree to pay it and then when they come to meet up we’ll beat the fuck out of them.” Erwin snorted, “You’re a felon.” “I am. I’ve never said I wasn’t.” “I want to fuck you.” “I want you to shut the fuck up.” Erwin sat back, a little hurt by Levi and his recent coolness since they’d gotten back from Disney. “What the fuck happened between you and Hanji?” Levi stared blankly, “Nothing.” “Levi…..”

Levi sent a text off and stood up, “Tell me something Levi,” Erwin began and Levi cut him off, “NO!” He was red in the face, “Shut the fuck up! I’m not in the mood.” There was another text and both got it:

**Meet us here. No cops. Money in a bag @ midnight.**

Levi looked at his watch, “That’s in thirty minutes.” He smirked, “They’re cocky aren't they?” Erwin snorted, “Seems so. In fact, that’s a great way to describe them this entire time. Cocky, untouchable, pushy. He was still worried about Levi but he let it go for the sake of him having an already bad day. “I want to fuck you.” Levi threw his hands up, “Let’s get ready you old perverted man.” 

****************************

Erwin and Levi pulled up to the parking lot and looked around, “Where are these fuckers?” Erwin took Levi’s hand in his, “I love you.” Levi kept staring out the windshield, “Stop. fucking. Trying. To. love. Me. to. Death. You. old. Man.” “But, I think if you learn love you might be able to communicate better.” “I hate feelings, I hate talking, I hate emotions, I hate you, I hate everything but my child and yours and Mila and well, all of our kids. The kids are fine. You all though, you all fucking suck so stop fucking talking to me and trying to make me love. I am dead inside. There is nothing there.” Erwin was genuinely upset about how Levi was acting right now.

But then they saw the signal to get out and bring the bag of money with them.

A few flashes of a flashlight.

Erwin groaned, “What the fuck they are like little kids.” Levi was so bored looking, “I can’t wait to shove my steel toed boot in their soft fleshy faces.”

They got out and walked towards the light. Levi was walking like a full out bad ass. Hips popping, mean mug, his eyes smoldering, and he swung the bag of money like it was nothing. Erwin was enjoying this from an aesthetic point of view but he knew that this was also masking something else. For now, he didn’t care. He just wanted to destroy these people. “Let’s beat the fuck out of these punks, einayim sheli.” They came to the section of the strip mall where there was an opening and stopped. “Where the fuck are they?”

There was the press of metal and the cocking of guns, “Get on your knees.” Both Erwin and Levi were royally pissed. Where the fuck had they come from? “Get down little bitches.” Another voice and then the first one, “Yeah, some dirty little cunts you are.” Levi grabbed his knife and sliced backwards but they moved back and Erwin kicked backwards trying to trip the other. They were ready to kill when they saw who it was. 

Armin and Eren were bursting into laughter as they doubled over, “Oh, we fooled you.” Eren was slapped by Levi, “I’m going to fuck you up.” Eren laughed, “Oh, I’m okay with that.” Erwin had Armin the ground, “BABY, YOU HAVE MADE AN ENEMY TODAY!” Armin was smiling, “I want you as an enemy.” “I’m going to spank you.” “Oh yes, daddy.” “Where are our children?” Armin sat up, “With Dedka.” “Oh, I’m still going to spank you.” Levi was giving Eren a look that made him weak, “Get back to the house.”

*******************

Armin and Eren were bouncing in the car, “I hope they really _punish_ us.” Eren smiled, “Oh, yes, I do too.” They pulled up and when they were in the driveway they were roughly grabbed, hands on the nape of the neck and the other twisting their arm behind their back, “Come on maggots.” They were drug inside and when they tripped on the floor Erwin and Levi drug them along the smooth wood up to the door for media room. Levi and Erwin were merciless as they pulled them down the stairs and dropped them at the foot. They kicked them, spat on them and yelled degrading things all while removing their shirts and taking their belts off.

Erwin moved forward, “Captain, we’ve got two cadets that stepped out of line.” “Filthy brats. What’s the punishment for insubordination, Commander?” Erwin smiled, “Whipping.” Levi popped his belt and then like a whip he hit Eren, “Some say 10 lashes is enough,” he kicked Eren pushing him on his stomach, “I say 50 is more likely to make the shit run out someone.” Armin was on his side when Erwin came towards him, “And you barely look like you’d even survive the 10, cadet Arlert. You’re a weak thing, so frail. Not fit for the military at all. I’ll be sure to take extra care with you.” Levi snorted, “Break him. There's plenty more where they come from.”

Levi began cutting Eren's clothes off till he completely naked and so did Erwin. Armin fought back until Erwin choked him down into submission. Levi flipped Eren over and pulled his privates back between his legs stepping on them lightly. Eren groaned and Levi began whipping him, “Such a cock hungry cadet. Brats like you make me sick because you simply have no shame.”He hit Eren a few times and when his back was good and red he told him to start counting, “Count and every time you stop I'll start back over till we get to 50.” 

Erwin tied Armin’s arms together and brought him on his lap, “Since you're too weak for the belt you'll just have to settle for your Commander’s hand.” He slapped Armin's ass sharply and Armin's eyes shut immediately, “Mmm.” Erwin smoothed his hand on his flesh, “Same goes for you. Count out loud for 50 but since you're so smart do it backwards from 100 and in French.” Levi thought that really was sadistic and smirked, “I should have had this maggot do that, too.” Eren's back was bloody and Armin was mentally preparing himself for the task when he suddenly started. 

The hit made his entire body rattle with the aftershocks. “Arlert, I'm not sure why you were even born a boy. You're much too weak to be one.” He counted and he kept hitting while using his degradable speech to accent the moments. When Armin didn’t recover and mumbled his French, Erwin tisked and started all over again. True, Eren had it really bad but he also was self healing the entire time. Armin would have these bruises for weeks. Erwin’s cool breath appeared on the nape of his neck and moved over to his ear, “You shouldn’t be focused on the other cadet, it'll ruin your performance.”

Erwin slapped him across the face, the thin skin in the corner of his mouth tearing and Erwin's finger hooking it to the side while laughing was painful to say the least. And then they continued. Eren was now beginning to slow down, his back was a sight and Levi was emotionless, “Filthy brat, what's your favorite color?” Eren was shaking from shock and cold, “W-what?” Levi slapped the belt down and then rolled him over while he hissed from the pain. “Red, sir.” “Pick another.” “Blue, sir.” “That's more like it. I'm going to skull fuck you till your turn your favorite shade of little bitch blue you maggot.” Levi stepped forward and over him, sitting down on his chest. He pulled his cock out and grabbed Eren's reluctant face bringing him forward and onto his cock where he brutalized him. Erwin watched after moving Armin into the floor on his raw ass, face pressed into the golden curls at the base of his cock. He could hear the choking and knew it wasn’t him faking like normal. He smiled petting his hair but keeping him pinned. He snapped his fingers by Armin's ear, “Come on, cadet keep those eyes open, that is an _order_.”

When Eren and Armin had been thoroughly used they were thrown into a pile on the hard tile of the kitchenette. Armin's eyes burned and his throat was raw. Eren was shaking and hot. His jaw was bruised badly. Levi and Erwin looked at them. One had a sneer of disgust and the a pleasant smile. They didn’t know which they preferred. “I have to piss.” Levi said and Erwin nodded, “The toilet is pretty far away. Should I wait for you?” “What do you mean?” Levi said innocently, “The filthy toilets are right here.”

Erwin smirked and gave a short laugh, “Captain, you're right. How foolish of me.” Levi was deadly calm, “That's all right commander, you have enough on your mind. Cadets of worth, I suppose.” “That's true. I don't have time for weak things.” Armin and Eren cringed at the tone and insinuation. Levi stepped forward and so did Erwin. They pissed all over them like they were nothing but dirt beneath their feet. Levi and Erwin then rained down blows on them, humiliated them further. They tied them together in a 69 and degraded them. “Come on, cadet Jaeger. You're a hungrier slut than that. Suck cadet Arlert’s cock like a sissy lollipop.” Erwin walked around, “Cadet Arlert, your form could be better, put your fingers in cadet Jaeger, make this a class A effort.” “Fuck him faster.” “Suck him like you mean it.” “Squeeze his balls till their purple, bitch.” “Don't come, there will be consequences.” “That's right both of you, keep your eyes open. I wanna see the light in then fade.”

It was hours of sadism that Eren and Armin had not know was possible. They fingered them relentlessly at one point. They stretched them to four fingers and edged them denying them release. They made them lick their boots, lick the piss and sweat stained floor, shoved their faces in the toilets before tossing them into ice cold showers while singing army songs and laughing at their pain.

Armin was pulled out onto the tile floor and shoved on his stomach. Erwin's arm came around his neck and put him in a chokehold and slammed into him mercilessly. Levi eyed Eren in the shower. He leaned against the door, “Jaeger, it's time you gave it up to your Captain. I know that pussy of yours is hungry. I'll make it gape.” Eren shuddered and Levi entered turning the heat up a bit before he cornered a slightly terrified Eren and pulled him by his ankles forward into his lap. “Shush, calm down cadet. This is going to hurt.”

Levi choked Eren till he passed out, coming deep inside of him. When woke up Levi slapped him, “You're going to come with me in your ass cadet, you're going to do it when I say so. Keep your eyes open.” He was holding his face while thrusting into him while his cock softened, “Now,” he smiled, “ _COME!_ ”Eren did and he nearly passed out again but Levi kept slapping him, “Eyes open you filthy piece of shit or I'll kill you.”

Knowing Armin was a size queen and stretching was a kink that drove him wild Erwin managed to get all of his fingers inside of him while his cock moved in and out at a brutal pace. Armin came hard, crying, sobbing while Erwin finished and pulled out with come on his hands. He made Armin lick it clean while he played with his overly sensitive cock, “You sure are too pretty to be a boy, Arlert. I think I should make you into my little housewife. The army just isn't for you. But sucking cock and guzzling come? Now those are things you shine at doing.”

Both men exchanged heated glances while they all came down from their highs. They washed off, took their cadets upstairs and dumped them into their beds before checking on their children. Zev had them in their pack and play in his room and they let them be. Erwin left soft kisses on the back of Levi's neck as they stood in the hallway, “We should have known.” Erwin smirked kissing him on the lips, “Yeah, cocky, pushy, arrogant. We should have totally known.”

*************

The next morning they made breakfast and brought it upstairs to eat with Eren and Armin who were sore and in bed. Armin ate his toast but minded his torn lip and Eren was almost healed. “So,” Levi began, “Did you learn your lesson?” Armin and Eren kept eating and Erwin followed up, “Was the pain worth it?” Both stopped and smiled, “Oh yes, it was definitely worth it.” Erwin and Levi sighed, “Brats.”


	149. Goodbye

Hanji shut the door on the Uhaul and Mila was holding onto Levi’s neck as he ran around with her being chased by Eren and Bellamy. Armin looked very butch with his bandana holding his hair out of his face and off his neck and blue jeans with holes and beige oversized shirt. Mike was taking a break and spending time with Zev while Erwin checked their engine oil and acted as resident “dad” for the day. Nikko was on Hanji’s hip and she smelled him lovingly. “Okay, don’t tell your aba but,” she took out the scissors from her pocket and cut a small lock of hair. She tied it with a very sentimental ribbon and put it back in her pocket and zipped it shut.

Hanji watched as Levi cherished, for there was absolutely no other word for it, Mila. He loved her so much she was almost a little jealous. She laughed to herself, “Nehemiah, can you keep a secret?” Nikko smiled, his hand went to her hair but he never pulled. He was the most sugary sweet thing that ever was and she felt her heart melt even more. “I think I’m jealous about how much your aba loves Mila.” She said her name and Nikko laughed. He loved Mila. Loved her unconditionally and she was still not a fan at all of him. Hanji kissed him, “You’re aba knows me better than I know myself.”

She walked into the house to walk through it again. They were having a picnic and the others were still cleaning and preparing for the dinner which would be a BBQ send off. She went into one of the rooms that they hadn’t packed up fully because it was where they’d sleep tonight. It had a jack and jill bath and Mike and Erwin had told her that this is where they would sleep during sleep overs and run between the two rooms playing games or pretending that they were two other worlds. The normal things kids do. She sat in the rocker and held Nikko looking around at Marilyn’s paintings on the wall. She really was talented.

“Nikko, let me tell you about things I’ll probably never get to repeat to anyone else in the world.”

*****************

They stood at the door of their new home, bags at their side. The room they were shown had yellow and brown 70s wall paper and nicotine stains, “Hanji….what kind of name is that?” They turned around and their stomach clenched, “She’s a queer too.” “Fuck...that’s just our luck.”

*****************

In church they felt like they might vomit. They didn’t want to be there. They didn’t want to be there. They didn’t want to be, “Hey, you’re new. Would you like to sit with us?” The man had a strong and kind face. He wore a bolo tie and nice boots. He smelled like her homeland. Their foster parents were over in the choir. They wanted to leave but there was something about this man and they went with him. He sat them on the pew between himself and two boys made of gold. One kept staring at them and after church they bit their lip in worry about returning home.

“Hey, my name is Mike.” He was tall, really tall, and he was smelling them, “You smell really nice.” The other boy walked over, “Um, please excuse him. He has a really intense sense of smell. And he’s very forward.” They opened their mouth, “Oh, do you have Hyperosmia?” Mike blinked, “I don’t know. Is that a real thing?” Erwin started to laugh, “I would say so if she’s offered it as a suggestion.” Hanji cringed, “I’m…” “Oh, by the way, I’m Erwin Smith. Mike and his father bring me to church.” Hanji looked between them, “I did think you were brothers.” They both laughed and patted the other on the back, “Close enough but unfortunately no blood.”

********************

_I’m smart, I’m smart, I’m smart, I’m-_ “YOU’RE A FUCKING IDIOT! WHY ARE YOU EVEN WASTING YOUR TIME?!” “Yeah! Someone called here from the school. They said you had a meeting. Who the fuck do you think you are, you ungrateful bitch! Do you know how hard it is to place kids your age in great homes like ours!? We thought we might adopt but you’re a pain I don’t want.” “We should ship her off to another family.” “I think so, too.” _I am smart, I am smart, I am smart. I speak four languages. I’ve survived immigration. I survived. I survived. I’ll survive. I am smart, i am smart, I…._

*******************

Mike came over quickly to their pew, “I heard you were,” “Yeah, I’m at a new family.” He stood awkwardly, “You wanna come eat wit’ us?” They looked at their new foster parents, “I’ll….I’m….” Erwin appeared, “I’ll handle it.” Erwin went up to them and asked if she could eat with them. He told them how they were the best of friends and then Owen and Fran walked over exchanging contact information and smiles. Fran walked over and hugged them, “Baby, you’ll be staying over so we’ll drop you by to get a bag after,” They were panicking, “I don’t need a bag.” They said urgently, pleading with her through their tone. Fran blinked and smiled, “Of course, I’m a lady. Whatever you need I’ll have it and if I don’t we’ll get it.” They wanted to sob right there among the bibles and pews with the huge cross at the front that’s shadow loomed over them when the sun hit noon.

****************

Hanji loved Mike’s home. They loved his parents and Erwin was honestly amazing. He was so smart and he smiled like some sort of WWII veteran. When Fran set the table and sat down they all started eating except for Hanji. This was common and the more Fran watched them over the next few weeks she understood more of what was happening. She started calling Hanji in earlier or later for more snacks. Owen made them shakes with protein and the boys kept Hanji busy and healthy running around and living in the country helped her weak lungs.

“What’s wrong with your lungs?” Mike said lazily near the edge of the lake. Hanji was wrapped in big fluffy towels, “I had pneumonia over 14 times and...there’s scar tissue all in my lungs so sometimes it’s hard to breathe when the air is really cold or when I’ve done a lot. Like, it’s hurts when it tries to expand.” Mike turned his head to the side and just looked at them. A lot of their relationship was silence and looking. They liked it. “When I say she or her you flinch every time.”

******************

They were turning 16 and after two years of moving around from foster to foster they’d decided to do something drastic, “I’m here to apply for emancipation from my blood, the foster care, and state.” “Miss Zoe, at 16 to ask for such is not recommended. You will be a ward of the state all the same.” “Wrong. I have applied for early acceptance to Maria University. I have been accepted. I am capable of working there and have applied for public housing. I am an adult, I have been since my mother and father died. Since I came over and-” “A letter has been given to me stating that unofficial wardens have been offered as points of contact. Gabriel Smith and Owen Zacharius. They have vouched for you and and I know them well. I wish you the best, Miss.” 

*******************

Hanji fell against his chest, drunk and hot, “Mike?” “Yeah?” “Put me in the pool.” Freebird played on the stereo and it was fitting. She had on one of Fran’s traditional dresses and the house had lights on for as far as the eye could see. Erwin was high and dancing shirtless with some guy from high school and Oulu, Eld, and Petra were laughing and collapsing on the patio furniture, “Please?” Mike wrapped his arms around them and he smelled the top of their head, “Why do you do that?” “What?” He mumbled into the top of their head, “Smell me?” “You smell like,” Oulu’s girlfriend pushed them into the pool laughing, “Come on bitch, swim with me!” Mike laid in the water floating thinking about what he was about to say.

Hanji’s clothes were falling off of them and he watched while everyone else jumped into the pool and he admired their body through the soaked flesh toned dress. Hanji was free but it wouldn’t be easy.

*******************

Fran asked if Hanji needed anything but they told her no. Hanji said that their job was paying well enough and nothing was needed. Owen came into the bedroom and sighed, “She’s,” “They…” “Oh, goodness. Yes, they. Thank you baby.” “No problem big daddy.” “They just….they don’t want pity, they don’t want no hand outs. They don’t want nothin’ that they didn’t earn.” “They need things.” “Mike’s in love with her.” Fran lowered her Spiritual Woman’s Guide to Family and removed her glasses, “Well, welcome to reality. He doesn’t stop looking at them. He’s never been this shy, this happy, this anything.” “And Erwin is a right proper homosexual.” Fran burst into laughter and fell onto her side, “Oh, big daddy, he really is and I just love it.” Owen smiled and the wrinkles around his eyes made her heart feel warm, “I love it too. They’re a good trio.”

******************

Hanji won an award that required a ceremony, “Can’t I just...accept it and have it,” “No, you have to accept this in person.” “Oh….” “Let us know how many family members to expect.” _None._ Hanji was 17 and wanted to say that the Smith and Zacharias family were their family but that wasn’t so. Mike came by after school and invited them to a party. Hanji declined and he stayed until her shift was over. He took her to the mall, “Why are we here?” “Mom said I need a new mattress.” Hanji nodded, “Okay.”

***

Mike watched as Hanji jumped from mattress to mattress smiling, “Mike, get the blue one.” “The blue?” He humphed and fell down on the blue mattress. Hanji jumped and fell on it near him and he smiled, “It’s memory foam. I bet that hurt.” Hanji groaned, “Yeah….that was pretty painful.” Mike took their hair and smelled it, “It always smells the best on the third day.” Hanji flushed, “I know, I know...I should wash it more.” Mike shrugged, “Always smells the best when you let it be.” Hanji rolled closer and they shared a moment, “You know what?” “What?” “I always feel like I don’t have to do anything around you. I feel completely comfortable.” Mike smiled, “Ditto.”

******************

“Mrs. Fran! NOOO!” Fran had the mattress delivered and she went through her apartment in shock, “HANJI! LET ME CLEAN THIS AND DON’T ARGUE ABOUT THE MATTRESS WITH ME!” Mike and Owen set it up on the box springs and Mike blushed slightly when they turned to him, ‘You tricked me.” “You need it, Han.” “I can’t believe you! I don’t need anything but my books, my research, and the limitless possibilities of science!” He paused, “Why...why is science your thing, Han? Just...what made you so into it? I’m curious. Honestly, I’ll give an example: I love livestock because when all the cattle ‘round here got sick, we managed to save ‘em with different grain that didn’t let the viruses change their DNA. We went an entire year here wit’ no meat. I saw a lot of cows get killed that I’d bottle fed from birth. I saw a lot of farms go under. I don’t e’er want to see that again.”

Hanji wanted scream, “I just….it’s important, Mike. It’s really important.” “For who, Hanji?” “Shut up.” “Who did science not help?” Hanji slapped him, “SHUT UP!”

Owen walked in, “Mike, boy, too much.” Mike teared up, “Yeah, I’m sorry, Han.” “No,” Hanji was choked up, “no Mike, I should have never laid a hand on you. You all….you’re all I have. I’m so sorry.” Erwin popped in, “And me.” He smiled dashingly. Hanji and Mike knew he’d been eavesdropping, “Yeah, Erwin. You too.”

*****************

Fran and Owen smiled for the pictures at their award ceremony. Erwin and Gabriel were there and Mike dressed up for a change. Their picture would be in the newspaper and Gabriel said their research was up for a grant. He walked around them and handed them opportunities left and right it seemed. Hanji was for once happy, they didn’t feel so empty. But then there was a reception at the church and Hanji held Mike’s hand through the service shaking. Hanji couldn’t stop looking at the cross that overshadowed everything, “Han?” “Yeah?” “I’ll never let anything hurt you.”

Hanji appreciated the sentiment. _But,_ she looked to him and then back at the cross _I’ve already been hurt._

*******************

Erwin hugged them and gave them a kiss on the cheek. He was high, they all were, “You and Mike…” Hanji rolled their eyes, “What?” “Should fuck.” “Piss off, Erwin. We’re like brother and sister.” Erwin took another hit, “Whatever. Pass the moonshine.” Hanji looked over and smirked, “You can fuck me.” Erwin snorted, “Sorry, if only I could. But, you know, Mike, he’s straight.” Hanji hit him laughing, “Shut up. Why the marines?” “Because I want to be the best.” “You already are, pretty boy.” “Thanks, so what’s your type?” “I don’t have one.” “No, you do. Come on, tell.” “I don’t know. Odd. I like odd.” “Such a Hanji response….what if I find that?” “In the desert? Good luck. If you do I owe you.” “What do you owe me?” “I dunno….what do you want?” “I want you to help me take over at the university.”

Hanji paused, “Why?” “Because I’ll need help and if you do I’ll give you limitless research opportunities. I’ll make you the premiere scientist. You’ll change and save so many lives.” Hanji thought about it and how much that meant to them, “Deal.” “If I don’t?” “Then you owe me a huge favor.”

********************

Hanji heard the computer beep and they rolled over to it. Erwin’s face was bruised, “Well, that's gotta sting.” Erwin shrugged, “I'm thinking this isn't the life for me.” “Ohhhhhhh,” Hanji said dramatically, “don't give up now. You're a commander. YOU COULD BECOME ANYTHING!” They spun around in their chair squealing as Mike watched. He had a smile on his face. “Where's Mike?” “Over in the corner like a loser!” Hanji leaned forward pouting, “says he won't let me test the cattle for-” “Nope nope nope I agree with him. Ask dad for permission to use the school's cattle out by Wetumpka.” 

Hanji pouted more, “I like Mike’s better.” They mumbled and Mike pulled the chair back nearly tipping them over, “My ladies are beauty queens, not lab mice.” “I LOVE MY MICE BABIES!” “And kill them.” “Only in the name of science and sometimes often when only I'm near them breathing. …..” Mike smelled them and let them settle in the seat. Erwin sighed, “Levi...he wants to talk to you.” Hanji’s face brightened, “PUT HIM ON!” Erwin turned the laptop top and Levi hit him, “No! I never…I DIDN'T MEAN” “Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh soooooooooooooo you didn’t want to see me!” Levi stopped, sighed, “SHIT HEAD I DIDN’T WANT TO INTERRUPT!” Erwin snickered and then left. Mike wanted to do the same, he knew he should, but what was a little torture?

“When are you coming back to the states little pipsqeak?” Levi stared blankly, “You know, sometimes I wonder what your brain actually looks like.” “I think when you come back you should shoot me a message and I can find you and show you my collection of human eyeballs in person since you know….we need to one day like meet meet…..” “That’s disgusting….I think I’d like that. You know, there’s a new suture technique I’ve been thinking about.” “YES TELL ME MORE!”

Mike laid on the couch and listened while almost two hours of non-stop Levi and Hanji played out. When they got off of skype with him that’s all he heard about for the rest of the day. It was always like that. Hanji’s weird clicked with Levi’s weird. Mike just couldn’t compete.

*****************

Mike saw the mail on their desk piled up, “What language is this?” Hanji ripped the letter out of his hand, “I’m really…” Hanji pushed Mike against the wall of their apartment, “into this new plaid pattern you got goin’ on here.” Mike smirked, “You’re drunk.” “Only a little.” “Really?” “Yeah, look, half a bottle of cheap wine. I’ll be sober in thirty minutes if I eat that pack of hawaiian rolls over there.” Mike leaned down closer to their mouth, “Are you hot, Hanji? You feel pretty hot.” His voice was low and husky, “Yeah, I’m pretty damn hot, Mike. I need to cool down.” Mike’s hands smoothed up their legs and pushed the hem of their shirt up, “Is this what you want, Hanji?”

The phone rang and the moment snapped.

“Hello?” They tried to calm their breathing but it only got worse, “I….I….he’s…”

Mike took the phone, “Hello?”

Gabriel Smith was dead.

*****************

Hanji was crying and Mike was too. Erwin was emotionless. Eventually, Erwin spoke, “Levi said….”

_Who is this Levi who solves all the world’s mysteries?_

***************

Hanji took Mike’s old truck and headed out to his farm he was stationed to in Arkansas. They wanted to do observations on the livestock and stay close to him. He was sorely missed in Maria where now all the golden boys had gone. They looked at the road, the sun had set to the point it was all pale blue ombre to black from the horizon up.

When they got there they went to a bar where they drank whisky sours and wore cowboy boots. They had on a dress. His hand sometimes pulled the hem down when they lost themselves in a story and failed their arms around.

“Johnny Cash!? Why?” Mike smirked, “He’s great, Han.” Hanji finished their drink, “DANCE WITH ME!” Mike shook his head, “No.” “I’ll make you!” Hanji went over to have them play Johnny Cash but still he wouldn’t move. “Please…” Mike stood up shakily, “Only if you kiss me.” He said suddenly and Hanji smiled, “Oh, that’s all? Okay!” Hanji stood on their tip toes and kissed his cheek immediately pulling back and bringing him with them onto the floor.

Mike didn’t say that wasn’t what he meant.

Mike took all of Hanji he could get. 

****************

Owen wiped his brow, “You ever gunna settle down?” Hanji wiped their hands on their jeans. They always helped them haul hay, “Nope. Probably not. I’m married to my work.” Owen nodded slowly, “You’d make a good momma.” Hanji became reserved and he knew he’d hit a nerve; just one of many carefully covered ones over the years he’d found. “I’d have to have the right man for sure. I’d then have to be ready to have a child. Nothing could be left to chance.” 

Hanji remembered being 14 and pregnant. Hanji had never forgotten how lucky they were to have found a doctor.

“The Lord gives all in it’s right time.” Owen said it and Hanji genuinely believed him, “But God gave us free will.” Owen stopped strapping the bails down, “Exactly. So your plans are going to line up juuuuuuuuuuust right.”

That night Hanji fell asleep on Mike’s bed and he stood at the doorway unsure what to do.

Fran appeared, “Mike, just go in there and sleep. You’ve known them for years. It’s okay. Momma won’t look!” She held her hands over her eyes with a kind humorous smile. He blushed, “They look really tired. I should sleep on the couch.” “Michael,” she rarely used that tone and he walked into his room and to his bed he went.

Owen was waiting for her when she returned, “Maybe they’ll have sex finally.” Owen lowered his book from the stockyard, “Damn, Frannie.” “You hope so, too.” “I want a grand baby.” “OOOOOH,” Fran pulled his face away from the ledger and kissed him plainly on the lips, “FROM YOUR LIPS TO GOD’S EARS!”

Owen moved to turn his light out; a picture of Hanji, Mike, and Erwin at his bedside, “I love them so much.”

***************

“How long?” “How long...what?” “Since you bathed.” “I dunno….a few days.” “You’re fucking filthy.” “I’m a working woman.” “You disgust me.” “You adore me.” “Whatever. Shitty glasses….get some new glasses.” Hanji squinted, “Never.”

Mike frowned. How had he missed that but Levi noticed? Fuck this guy was amazing and Mike couldn't catch a break. 

***************

“I don’t WANT THEM!” Mike pulled Hanji into the eye clinic.

“Miss Zoe, your prescription is way out of date!” The doctor said in horror, “How are you driving?” Mike was leaned against the wall, “They put their thumbs up at the top of the wheel and stay between them.” Hanji laughed because it was true. The doctor did not.

They ate lunch with contacts and glasses in their purse. Hanji’s hair was long and soft. Mike reached out and grabbed it. Hanji looked over and smiled, “Mike?” He hummed, “I’ve always felt so comfortable with you.” “Me too.” “Thank you.” “I didn’t do nothin’. But…” Hanji looked back at him, “What?” “Thank you, Hanji. Thank you for somehow ending up here in Maria, in my life, in my world. Thank you for being here because without you it just wouldn’t be the same.”

They went back to Hanji’s apartment and Mike’s eyes widened, “Is this place….clean?” Hanji nodded, “I’m not actually that dirty, you know.” He looked at her and said seriously, “I know that, Han.” Hanji swallowed, “We’re close friends….”

He stared, “Yeah?”

“I’ve got weed and...I kind of….want some human contact.”

Mike’s heart thumped in his chest painfully, “Oh?”

“Can we get high and would you make out with me?”

Mike didn’t respond for a long time, “Yeah, if you need that.”

They got high and made out.

They really needed it.

Who was he kidding? He needed it more and he didn’t care that his hands stayed above the waist and they didn’t do anything remotely sexual. Hanji tasted like blueberries and peaches with sugar and cream. He wished he could taste them forever.

****************

It was distant memory they both played over and over. 

_  
_

Hanji sat down and prepared themselves, “Levi?” Levi looked horrible, “What shit head? I thought we were just being quiet and making Erwin leave us alone?” “Do you like people with genitalia of all kinds or?” Levi blinked, “Hanji,” he pinched the bridge of his nose. That tone they knew so well and figured he was about to either never speak to them again or give them a lecture, “I’d put you up on that table, pull your pants right off your fine ass, flip you over and spin your around till your pussy was right at my face and then lick you till you come with my name echoing in your shitty, filthy, tiny ass tenet apartment.” Hanji was nearly soaking wet at the thought when Erwin came in and said they had drill. Levi looked completely fine and stood up, “You should follow up on that blood case I used in my own work. I think it might help your rabbits.” Hanji sputtered, “My rabbits?! I don’t have any rabbits?” There was a knock and Levi’s voice, “You do now.”

The feed finished and when they opened the door Mike had two rabbits in a cage, “I was asked to bring these.” Mike smiled and listened to Hanji talk about how they had never considered using rabbits and then he took the opportunity to ask them out. 

****************

Mike told them they couldn’t go out now because Erwin and Levi were missing and everyone was meeting at the Smith house. Petra was crying at the house when they got there house. Eld had called, he was in recovery still and had found out while in the hospital in Germany. She and Oulu were on the couch and Erwin’s tie that Hanji got him for his 17th birthday laid on the table where he’d left it the last time he came home. Hanji sat down, legs made of jello.

When Fran and Owen came they wanted to go to the church to pray.

Hanji never wanted to see that cross again.

Not for Erwin.

And Levi…

********************

“Why won’t you ride?” Mike had Pegasus, his favorite horse, next to him and Hanji was shaking, “Not my thing, Mike. Never has been.” “We’re you fakin’ with dad and me?” “I...I didn’t want to be rude.” “When did you learn?” “Young.” “How young?” Hanji avoided the question, “Three years going on four, Erwin’s been away. One of those is almost all devoted to the kidnapping…....” Mike stared, “How many times have we almost had sex?” Hanji’s face flushed, “A lot.” “So, what’s up that?”

Hanji looked at him, “I don’t know.”

They looked around the barn and then Mike moved forward kissing them roughly. Hanji made a small noise in the back of their throat as Mike kissed them, kissed them wonderfully. Hanji close their eyes, hand combing through his hair and then, “MIKE! HANJI! I OH GOD I LISTEN YOU HAVE TO STOP THAT NOW AND GET IN ‘E HOUSE ‘CAUSE ERWIN'S ALIVE AND HE'S COMIN’ HOME! HE'S COMIN’ HOME!” Owen was sobbing and Hanji’s knees buckled, Mike got them up in his arms and ran with them all the way from the barn to house.

Erwin was alive on Skype and looked horrible, “I’ve been in a coma, had a lot of surgeries on my arm, and well…..I just want to come home but dad...dad won't be there.” Watching Erwin sob was the worst. He was so lonely. They knew how it was. They just pretended they didn’t till they convinced themselves, “Levi?” Erwin took a shuddering breath, “Oh, Han, it's so complicated.”

***************

He was now in New York and he skyped them, “Levi! HOW ARE YOU?!” Levi looked at them and inside he felt a little less dead, “Fine.” “Ohhhhh you can do better. Give me some other descriptors.” “How old are you?” They paused, “22.” “What's your favorite anything?” He said with a bored look on his face. They paused, “Honestly?” “Yeah.” “You.”

He blushed and that made their stomach flutter, “What's yours?” He stared, “Honestly?” Hanji smiled, “Yeah!” “You.”

*************

Donner whined looking at the people on the base. Hanji knew him immediately, “I'm here for Donner Ackermann 01256.” Hanji held the paper in their hand and was shaking. The man at the desk gave them a sad look, “Was he….your husband’s? I'm so sorry ma’am.” Hanji looked at Donner who was truly the saddest. They put him in the car and drove him to a park where they laid on the grass and felt the sunlight. 

Why had he left them with Donner? They opened the envelope with his paperwork and inside there was a note: “If anything happens to me, he'll take care of you for me. I guess I care about things like that. Levi.” _Take Care of You for Me._ Hanji was very depressed as they pushed their nose and face into his fur, “Ha…..I should bathe you.” Donner’s ears perked up and he made a whine of impatience, “You want that?!” He moved his head up and then down, barking, “Well…..you really are Levi's dog.”

Hanji bathed Donner at the park since they had a place and some supplies for dogs. People asked them so much about him. He was so beautiful and so mysterious. They thought he was a perfect match for Levi. When they got home they cleaned, cooked, and sat down with him resting his head in ther lap while they talked to him. That's what they did, they talked and talked and talked. For once, there was someone who knew all their secrets and could never tell and never judge them.

That had been nearly 10 months of heaven with a tiny piece of Levi all to themselves to help them grieve. Then Erwin came home and told them Donner would be staying with him for a week and then when Levi got back he'd return him. They knew why Erwin wanted it to be him but Hanji had been left Donner, not Erwin. Hanji's name was on everything. Had Levi just known Erwin would be killed with him or had it just always been his will for them to have it?

Hanji bathed him again, took him to a professional for his nails and teeth. They made sure he was beautiful and then Erwin took him. Hanji cried after he left and as if he had superpowers Mike came over with junk food and movies. He sat them on the couch, made soup, and then held them while they talked about how unfair it was. It was unfair. 

”Things I have loved I'm allowed to keep.”

Mike had leaned back, face looking stoned but he was completely sober, “Erwin probably feels like that, too.” Hanji inhaled sharply, “Oh Mike! Don't do me like that or I'll cry more.” “It's okay. You can cry on me.”

*****************

”Mom and dad bought a farm and they're leaving.” Mike said plainly filling in the other important details one would need to know, “Are….are you going?” “To help them move yeah but my contract isn't up so I haven't even thought of what I'd do till that's done.” Hanji was petting Donner after their run. Mike wanted to meet them for dinner but when they said they'd been running and would need to take a bath and such he came over. He liked the way they smelled after a run. 

“Why...why would they want to leave?” “Because they're tired. They want something new. It's a good thing, I think.” “Yeah. As long as they're happy.” Hanji took their shirt off and dropped it into the bin to wash and he watched them slightly, watched their toned body move. He was in love with them. He loved them. He had always loved them but as Erwin said he'd never said anything because he's such a passive motherfucker. Now they had Donner and they were seriously missing Levi and Erwin. Mike was fucked but never getting fucked. 

They went to the bathroom to shower and he waited. Donner sat by the front of the shower door protectively. He stood up, went to the bin, pulled their shirt out and smelled it. He smelled the entire contents of the thing. Their panties he saved for last. Mostly, because he was ashamed he was doing this and had been doing this for years but also because they were his favorite. He liked to savor them and really inhale them. He was a freak. But Hanji drove him to it with their natural pheromones.

He felt even more sick as he had the urge to steal a pair….which he had done before and had been so beside himself with guilt he'd dodged their phone calls for two weeks. That was easily done since he had been in Arkansas doing his practicum. He'd missed Hanji and he'd missed his opportunity to tell them how he felt yet again. 

He loved them but he'd gone this long without saying it so why say it now? Instead, he'll just steal their panties and hate himself some more. Hanji was singing in the shower when he saw the familiar strange language on the front of a letter. It was open and he shouldn't be looking at it but it was handwritten and their was a cross inside the pages that weighed the letter down.

It was small, heavy, and ornate. He was inspecting it when they came out into the living room, “PUT it down.” They were serious and he did. “Sorry han. I just thought it was interestin’.” Hanji looked uncomfortable. “Sorry. You can look.” They mumbled and went into their bedroom leaving Mike confused. He wished they'd just tell him what was hurting them and had been all these years.

******************

Erwin called and he jumped. He was going to go to dinner with Hanji tonight since they were now sans Donner and try to tell them how he felt about them. Now that things were back to normal in their lives he thought it was the best time. He answered it, “Hey man.”

“Oulu is having a party tonight.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah and Levi's gunna be here and probably arrive after its started.”

“And Donner?” 

“I haven't told him I have him yet. I want it to be a surprise.” 

“Cool. So should I tell Han?” 

“No, there's no need. They'll be there and I'm sure he's already told them.” There was distinct bitterness in his voice and Mike thought that was a bad sign. Erwin was possessive and dangerous when he wanted something. He loved him, but he feared him sometimes. If Hanji wasn’t careful then.... “Never take that tone ever when referring to Hanji, you got it? I'll beat the shit out of you. Control yourself, Erwin. You're home. It's hard. But, don't ever get angry at them for things they don't control. You're not the only one that hurts!” He hung up on him. 

Hanji was changed and smelled clean, “So what do I need to wear? A potato sack or toga? Which one?” Mike smirked, “We're going to a party tonight.” “Oh?” “Yeah….do you want to make out?” “You need some human affection?” They sometimes made out. He didn't ask as much as they did and that was because he knew he was crossing the line with it, not them. “Yeah, I could use some affection too. I'm sad. I miss Donner. I wish Levi would hurry up and decide if he's going to come here or not.” “Have you spoken to him lately?” “No….he's been busy. I haven't for almost two weeks tomorrow.” “If you didn't see him soon would you go see him?” “Would you go with me? Like a road trip? I don't know him in real life so I dunno how I'd feel but i want to meet him. I want to meet this odd person that has changed Erwin's attitudes on a lot of things and whose advice in my research has been great.” “I'll. ...take you Hanji.” “WOULD YOU REALLY? WE CAN STAY AT GRIMMY HOTELS AND EAT GUMMY BEARS AND PICK UP RESEARCH SUBJECTS AND-” “I didn’t say yes to kidnapping man or animal.” “Ooooooh…..yes you did.”

Mike smiled and put an old french fry from their lunch still left out on the table in their hair. 

Hanji smiled and wondered if there was something between them. 

**************

His head was between their thighs. He nuzzled his nose, lips, his entire face into her wet dripping pussy breathing her scent in and his tongue delved inside of her as he licked between her lips with eyes closed and muffled moans of pleasure punctuating the sounds of squelching. Hanji tightened their legs around his head and he brought his arms around them, hands gripping the flesh of their inner thighs and he rolled his tongue and pressed it against her clit till he took it and focused specifically on it. A few high pitched moans from them and he was adding fingers, moving them around inside of them till he pussed right inside the entrance at the top making them shake, moan, come hard. He loved it. He lived for it. 

Hanji enjoyed how he held them at night. He was so worried something would happen to them and he liked to sleep nude, pressed against them, his left arm under them pinning them to him, right hand under their shared pillow on the handle of a knife. He would press his nose into their shoulder and neck and when he spoke in his sleep they didn’t listen because they wanted him to tell them freely. They didn’t want his secrets like that.

Levi and Hanji were very sexual beings. He would keep them in his lap at their desk chair, flesh on flesh, while he nibbled their shoulder and pressed hot open mouth kisses to their back, “You’re filthy. Take a bath.” Hanji smiled, “Okay.” They made to move and he whined, “Not now, idiot.” “But,” “No, don’t go. I want to fuck you on that pile of takeout and drunk late night online shopping.” Hanji giggled, “There’s something in the fridge I’ve been watching for almost two years. I’m not sure what it used to be.” “I’ll kill you if you keep speaking.” “You’ll do no such thing.” He flipped them out of the chair on the floor hovering over them. His lips were pouty, brow creased, he looked like a God. He fucked like one, too.

*****

Mike stopped by the lab and Hanji was smiling and spinning in their chair, “MIKE! I HAD A BREAKTHROUGH! I HONESTLY HAD A BREAKTHROUGH!” Mike smiled, covered in dirt and grime. He’d missed them so bad lately. All they did was work and stay holed up in their apartment with Levi and Donner. He begrudgingly liked how happy they were. He just wished he was making them this happy. “Let me guess, Levi helped?” Hanji smiled, “He’s good luck, Mike. Really.”

They had a get-together to celebrate, “So,” Erwin began, “what does the breakthrough mean exactly?” “There’s something new added to the body to act as a catalyst. This is important because it proves someone is injecting them and this is not a mutation from exposure to something in the air, or water, or from ingesting something. It also shows that it’s old, well, I found that it’s old. It affects genes that are some of our most primitive.” Levi was sitting next to them, arm around them keeping them close. He was dressed in black, that was his thing. Mike did like levi, really he did. He was just developing an emotion he hated: jealousy.

Levi basically lived with them. He took care of them now and Hanji took care of him. Maybe that was the real reason he was angry. Mike thought Hanji should be taken care of. He wanted to take care of them. He wanted them to live carefree, focus on science, and have no worries about anything. Infinite love, security both physical and emotional. He wanted them emotionally untriggered and protected. Levi was a brooding, grumpy, sad little man. He was never positive, dry humor, shitty humor, and while Mike knew he was a genius he lacked social skills and Hanji was a type A extrovert….well, now they were. In the beginning it had been different and maybe that’s the appeal. Maybe…. _Maybe I’m wrong...maybe he’s what they need and he needs them. Oh, I’m such a bad person for not thinking about this more. Maybe I don’t know the real Levi at all because I didn't know the real Hanji and maybe…..I still don't. Oh fuck. .._

Erwin was drinking and watching Levi like he was some sort of mystical creature, “I think we should go to the lake house for a weekend, all of us.” Hanji smiled, “We can watch LOTR!” Levi blinked and Erwin smiled, “Levi doesn’t know what Lord of the Rings is.” Hanji squealed, “LEVI!” Levi didn’t react but his jaw tightened, “OH YOU’RE GUNNA LOVE IT! I HAVE ALL THE EXTENDED BLU RAYS AND THE BOOKS!” Levi sighed, “If I must…”

***

Later that night Erwin and Levi sat out on the balcony and talked. Hanji cleaned up and Mike helped. He leaned close to them to smell them, “You two are,” “I know, we need to come out of the apartment more.” “What….what does he tell you?” Hanji paused, “Does Erwin tell you things?” “Not really. Just bits and pieces.” “He does the same. I think Levi,” Hanji paused again, “just wants something different.” Mike was perplexed, “I don’t understand.” 

But Hanji did and it made them suddenly very sad, “Something different from what Erwin can give him right now.”

Mike barely touched their hand, “I miss you, Hanji.” 

They looked at them outside, “You don’t need things like we do, Mike.”

_So, Hanji and Levi do need each other._

He walked away.

Maybe he shouldn’t have ever gotten so close.

****************

Levi left Hanji’s things alone but one day a package needed to be signed for and he sighed and took one for the team. It was from Lithuania and when Hanji got home they opened it in their room and he could hear the sobbing, the wheezing. He felt the panic rise like his own and when he found them they were shaking in the corner of the room. 

A large metal cross in the box made him pause.

Hanji gripped their knees to their chest and Levi sat on the bed moving the box away from their sight.

Hanji sniffled, “There’s more. In the closet.” He stared and they stayed silent.

“Hanji,” Levi began, “you know I’m Jewish.” They said nothing until it stretched too long, “Yeah...Erwin mentioned it.” “Well, what if I told you that I was born into an ultra orthodox sect and suffer from guilt and severe psychological issues because of it? What if I told you that the sight of certain….religious symbols sends me spiraling. What if I told you I am an outcast because I’m a bastard? Hanji...I don’t like to talk about any of it but with you….I’ll talk about it all.”

Hanji knew that was a big deal. Levi didn’t share really but he was going to share with them if they asked. “I don’t want you to say anything that you don’t want.” He moved forward to bring them into his arms, “I was born into the satmar in the Jewish Quarter of Paris…”

*****************

Hanji nuzzled into his chest, “Do you speak Lithuanian?” Levi shifted slightly asleep, “Yes, somewhat.” “I’m from there.” “I thought you were from Utah?” “I...was brought to Utah from Lithuania.” Levi missed the top of their head, “Who brought you?” “Missionaries.” “Where are your parents?” “Dead.” “Family?” “It’s complicated.” “Sounds like it.”

*****************

She was ripped out of her bed in the middle of the night. Her father's labored breathing made it clear who her kidnapper was. He pushed out into the night, the brisk winter hair made her start to wheeze and he was shaking, “Get on the horse.” There was a gunshot, “No, no horses.” He ran through the woods and it was dark, dangerous, the limbs slapped them and the treacherous growth of the forest floor tripped them many times. She was bleeding from the sharp rocks that she landed on. It went on for over an hour. The moon was her clock but they heard the sound of horses every now and then. 

He stumbled and then she saw it. She had heard of it and it was the only thing she feared. He stumbled, he fell hard. He was coughing up blood and it sprayed all over her. When he laid her at the foot of hill of crosses he started praying feverishly. They loomed over them, some 90, 000 different crosses from all over the world. She was laying in the shadow with them over her, black spots in her vision while orthodox prayers were cast out into the world. 

Hanji heard the men approach on their horses and then the man sputtered, with the last words of the prayer on his lips and fell down across her. Her father was dead and she was dying. 

************

Her mother cried and cried. She had loved her husband and now her daughter was on death’s door. They were being punished by the community. They didn’t believe enough according to the elders. Their own family elder isolated them. They boarded the windows and doors and told them that if they prayed enough and God spared them they would let them out but if not they’d burn the house with their bodies inside as a repentance of their sin. Hanji was made to ride the horses back from the hill of crosses, she fell off when she passed out. One of the horses spooked and stepped on her chest breaking some of her ribs.

Now her mother who was also deathly ill looked at her daughter, “Hanji,” she said feverishly, “you’re almost eight. You have so much to live for. I know not why God does this but I can’t question his will. I can only act selfishly.” She stood up and disappeared. Hanji listened to her mother use the kitchen knives to hollow out an opening in the floor.

She lowered Hanji inside of it, “I’ve called Maria. A while ago. She’ll come for you.” “Momma? What are you going to do?” Her mother kissed her, “I love you. I love you and God loves you. He does. We just can’t understand why things like this happen. I love you enough, Hanji. I love you enough to die and burn eternally for you.” She disappeared.

Hanji laid under the house in a blanket of wool for three days till Maria came and got her.

******************

Her name was Pia and she had beautiful long sandy blond hair. It was wavy from her keeping it braided all the time. She combed Hanji’s hair and smiled, “How are you feeling?” Hanji smiled softly, “Better.” “In another month you get to leave.” Hanji closed her eyes, “Can I live with you?” Pia stopped brushing her hair, “No, Hanji. But, I wish you could.” “Why can’t I?” “Because….I’m all alone. I have no family or support. I can't handle another person when I barely can help myself. I-” “It’s okay just tell me how to do what you do.” Pia paused, “What I do?” “Nursing.” “Oh, that.”

Pia brought Hanji books from her studies, “These are from my university classes, Hanji. Are you sure?” Hanji read them all and she applied herself to meeting the material. Pia noticed and soon she met a man who stopped by the hospital, “Hanji, my name is Jouzas and Pia tells me you’re smart, very smart.”

When Hanji was released her family was there but she didn’t want to go back to them. They would punish her for being brought the hospital. Pia was crying and Jouzas asked her what was the matter, “I’m from a family like hers, Jouzas. They don’t believe in medicine, only prayer. They took her to the pools at the church and submerged her but that’s all. And then….her father took her to the hill of crosses and tried to pray her better. They heard him offer her to God and if she did not get better then God could do as he pleased with her. Because she was brought here and lived they believe the will of God has been interrupted and they will now take her, that little girl, just shy of nine, and they will kill her on the hill and leave her body among the crosses!” She yelled and it echoed in the long hallways of windows and white and pastel green tiles of the old eastern block.

Jouzas wiped her tears and kissed her, “Then we take her and go from there. Take her out the back where the corpses are loaded from the homeless and suicides.” Pia grabbed Hanji from her bed, “Come with me, Hanjila. Make not a sound.” Pia held her to her chest and again they were running, always running. Down the stairs, down the hallways under fluorescent lights, and out onto the landing. Pia covered her face with the blanket, “Don’t look Hanjila.”

The eastern block wasn’t allowed to record suicides. The corpses were brought to the hospital and incinerated. They tried to keep it respectful but the state didn’t care. They were worthless, too weak. They were sometimes backed up on the landing and Pia’s words came to late. She’ll never forget the long row of naked chalk white corpses with their chests full of sutures from autopsy.

Jouzas kept them at bay until he was arrested. They let him go when he bribed them to do so and Hanji was safe at their house in the woods. Pia made stew and changed Hanji’s clothes into more normal ones for a little girl. When Jouzas got home Pia kissed him and they had a private conversation in the kitchen about the little girl with an amazing mind.

****************

“You want to come to the university with me?” Hanji smiled, “Yes.” “Okay, Hannah.” They called her Hannah and she had false papers under Jouzas’ family name. Hannah came with Jouzas to his class but soon he let her go with his colleague to the labs, “She’s got talent, Jouzas….she’s got talent! She keeps my students on their toes.” “She loves science, out little Hannahleh. Is there something she can do?” “Well, she wants to take the classes and do the work.” “Then let her, Vadimas. Let her, please.”

****************

Pia smiled brightly as she held Hannah’s hand, “And we would like to present you with a degree of science and biology Miss Hannah Shavi.” Pia and Jouzas took her to a cafe where they had coffee and celebrated with Vadimas, “At eleven years old you can now do so much.” “I want to become a nurse, a doctor.” Pia was delighted as they all were. Vadimas looked at her and there was a serious moment, “I think what I said stands, don’t you?” Pia nodded touching her round stomach, “She’ll make a great older sister.”

****************

Jouzas and Hannah sat in the emergency room. Her family attacked Pia and the baby wouldn’t survive. Blood for blood. Pia would never be able to have children. They removed her entire uterus. “I’ll do something one day that will let you have children.” Pia had tears in her eyes and Hannah leaned over the bed, “Hannah, I have you. But, I believe in you and if you say you will, then you will. But, Hannah, you’re enough for me.”

***************

“I DON’T WANT TO GO!” The slamming of doors, nails scratching and trenching into the plaster walls, “NOOOOOOOOOO!” Animalistic screaming. “Please, pleaaaase, Hannahleh you must go.” “NO!” Tears staining faces, the red threadbare rugs, “WHY! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS!?” Jouzas was on his knees, “We love you, Hannah. We love you.” Hannah threw the white candy dish on the side table at him, “THEN WHY ARE YOU THROWING ME AWAY!?” Pia was like a statue, her eyes beautiful and brown now dead and cool, “Because this is the only way we can save you.”

The state police came only a few hours after Hannah was given to the mormon missionary family Pia and Jouzas knew from the city. They were tried for kidnapping, western propaganda, and for being a part of the resistance. Jouzas’ jewish last name, Shiva, didn’t help. Jews were capitalists in the east. It didn’t have to make sense.

They were hanged.

Hanji’s family elder had called it in.

They were always at the root of it all.

Now she was on a plane and in Utah, far from home in front of hills with giant crosses that adorned them.

*****************

Hanji managed to keep their head down and plow through schooling but it was all under the guise of religion and it made them sicker and sicker. Those giant crosses, this faith, this life. It also became harder and harder for them to ignore that they were different. They weren’t a boy, they weren’t a girl, they were them. They researched it and researched it looking for answers and then their “parents” found out.

Facing a camp where they’d be “reformed” or halting their application for citizenship they did what they had to. They went to the camp. They couldn’t go back to lithuania. They would do anything not to go back there.

****************

Abuse, child neglect, it was all the same over and over again. Thirteen to Fourteen was a year of transitions from one poisonous family to another. It wasn’t all bad. They met other kids in the system who’d had a few good ones. Good people still existed. Or at least the hoped they did. They managed to be taken away state by state and passed around until they ended up in Maria in the same shitty situations. The only good thing was this was a place of education, a place of possibility. They also were no longer in the desert of crosses nor beneath the hill of crosses. They finally met this Southern Baptist faith. Why was there so many variations of this one faith? It was beyond them.

So when the giant cross in front of them suddenly became less hill of crosses and more boy who smelled them they started to relax. 

***************

Lev äi listened and then he told them everything about himself. They bonded over mutual pain, over mutual guilt, and then they showed him the crosses the elder sent them over the years. “She always knows where I am.” “Hanji, what are the letters about?” Hanji turned to Levi, “Will you come with me to Lithuania?” “I will. But, please tell me about the letters.” “You can read them yourself.” “But my,” “You lied to me. You're a naughty little liar, shorty.” He smirked, “I’m too smart for my own good.” Hanji smiled and he surged forward kissing them, “Now,” he said sensually, “Stop crying and making your shitty eyes all wet. Instead, sit on my face and let me taste you.”

**********

They were leaving to head to the airport when Mike and Erwin stopped by unexpectedly, “Where are you two going?” Erwin was visibly disappointed, “Vacation?” Levi said shortly, “New York.” Mike shrugged and not for the first time Levi saw how Mike looked at Hanji, how he adored them. “Sorry for cramping y’all’s style. We just were in the neighborhood.” “What’s in New York?” Levi and Erwin squared off, “Business?” Erwin sneered, “Liar.” “I’d watch my mouth if I was you, rich boy.” “Fuck off, Levi.”

Erwin turned to leave and Mike sighed, “Be safe, have fun. I love y’all.” That jarred Levi and Hanji took his hand, “Let’s go. I’m nervous.”

************

When they landed they had some time and Levi pushed Hanji into the family bathroom where he pulled their pants and panties down, covered their mouth and fucked them roughly against the wall. He licked up their neck, left hickeys and bruises while the moaned loudly into his hand. He loved them. He loved them. Mike loved them. Erwin….he loved Erwin, too.

*************

Hanji sat in the metal folding chair in the small wood planked room. The metal rod iron bed with heavy white linens and decorative quits resided at the foot while the woman with white hair, sagging skin, laid in it on the ventilator. Hanji wiped their face and then stood up suddenly after nearly an hour, “You,” they hissed, sob stuck in their chest, lodged in their throat a scream of frustration, “did EVERYTHING to destroy me! You took my family, you took them away. You had Pia killed, her baby, Jousaz, momma, papa, everyone I loved you killed! You had taken away. I hate you.” 

They walked around, holding and rubbing their stomach, while trying to catch their breath, eyes full of tears, “You only did one thing good. You’re religion forced me to turn to science to save myself. To save other people because I'll never forget the safety I felt in the hospital, the comfort of getting better, nor Pia and her healing hand. No, NEVER! I found comfort in something that you hate. Something you’d never have let me explore freely. So thank you for that you hateful bitch! What mother lets her son die, her daughter-in-law die, and granddaughter nearly die when a CURE was right there! I had pneumonia, tuberculosis, I was malnourished, I had worms! Meningitis, fuck.” They were laughing but it wasn’t funny, “Fuck, fuck you! Fuck it all. And then I get these letters and you never give me any peace.”

“Instead, I just fucking get harassed while I’m struggling to live freely and healthily.You took my parents from me.” They looked around the room, lip quivering, “And then you took my other parents from me.”

“Why you ever thought you could just write me a letter and I’d willingly come to be sacrificed the hill of crosses shows how fucking cocky you really are. The reason you’re here wasting away isn’t because I’m a sinner or my parents sinned. The reason you’re here is because your a hateful, spiteful, malicious, bitch and evil is hard to kill. These crosses served no other purposes but to make me dream of the day of coming back and doing this.” Hanji walked over to the ventilator, “Don’t think the irony is lost that you’re on a fucking machine to prolong your life you godless cunt.” They pulled the cord ends apart and waited for her to slip away. Then they put them back and machine resumed but there was no heartbeat, nothing.

They walked outside of the room where Levi sat awkwardly among their relatives. “I’m not here to die. I’m not here to stay. I’m not here to take over like you wanted. I’m here to say for once and for all fuck off and never contact me again.”

A few of the men stood, “We take you to the crosses.” One stepped forward and Levi was there, knife plunging into their side, “You will never touch them.” He punched another and then Hanji was there, a full out brawl in this small cabin in the woods of Lithuania. There was blood everywhere, screaming, more tears. Hanji and Levi were running and then they realized that they were merely repeating the same thing over and over again. They took Levi’s hand and pulled them onto a path that they jogged along for almost a half hour before the ended up at the hill.

Levi paused, leaned over, breathing heavily. Hanji walked forward, “This is where my father died on top of me. Right there. And the house we were in was where my mother lowered me into the floor and shot herself at the door for them to see so they'd open the house.” Levi was crying when they turned around, “Come on, baby. Let’s go. I’ll call a cab.” Hanji looked around, “No need. It’s a tourist attraction so there are cars over there.” Levi laughed shortly, bitterly, “The source of all your pain is a fucking tourist attraction.” Hanji was crying too, “Pretty much.”

**************

Before heading back to the US they stopped in France and Levi brought them to a cafe and they ate a sandwich. He held their hand and kissed them softly as they walked along the streets of his childhood. He loved them. Mike loved them. Erwin loved him. He was no good for them. Or maybe….

***************

When they got back Erwin was waiting. He asked Levi to come to his place and there he confronted him, “You were in Lithuania!” Levi was red, so red in the face he looked like he was on fire, “YOU WERE SPYING!” “I HAD TO! YOU NEVER SPEAK TO ME!” Levi slammed his fist into the wall, “BECAUSE I HATE YOU! I NEED SPACE! I NEED TIME!” Erwin recoiled, “I love you.” Levi was crying, “Leave me, alone.” He was clutching his head, “You’re driving me insane.” Erwin laughed shortly, eyes full of tears. He slammed something on the table between them and when Levi looked down he felt like he might lose consciousness.

A velvet ring box.

He looked up at Erwin who was really crying, “Levi.”

Levi stepped back, “No.” His voice broke like a little boy.

“Levi.” 

“No! Don’t say my name like that! Don’t!”

“Levi! I love you.” 

“Stop!”

Erwin stepped forward, his hands held Levi’s face, “Will you marry me?”

Levi closed his eyes, “Nooooo, no, no, no. Don’t do this to me.”

“I love you.” 

“No!”

Levi pushed away, “I have to go.” He looked at the box; such a little thing that made his heart clench because he was honestly torn between what he should do and shouldn’t. Erwin was hurt, “Yeah, go back to Hanji. At least Mike and I can bond in our mutual misfortune.” Levi’s hand stilled on the doorknob, “Mike’s dating. You should do the same.” Erwin seemed to turn to molten gold, “HE HAS LOVED HANJI SINCE THE FIRST DAY HE SAW THEM IN THAT PEW IN THE CHURCH! YOU ARE JUST NOW MAKING AN ENTRANCE INTO THEIR STORY! MIKE IS WHAT THEY NEED! NOT ANOTHER BROKEN PERSON! HANJI NEEDS MIKE!” 

Levi was screaming in rage as he stormed out and slammed the door.

Erwin turned around suddenly and then back to the door, slamming his hands on his thighs sobbing. He regretted it. He regretted everything. He loved Levi. He loved him so much.

**************

Hanji noticed the change in Levi but he still chided them, whined, groaned, cleaned, and fucked them like he always had. He actually fucked them more. One night, he woke up and they felt him crying. He pushed them on their back, moved between their legs and when he began moving inside of them they knew he was making love to them and it was so tender and so scary and so new that Hanji barely knew what to do other than try and commit it to memory.

In the morning they decided to go to the beach. They invited the others and started packing. Hanji left for the store and made Levi lunch. When he finished cleaning the apartment he looked at the sandwich and chips and saw a note:

**Levi, enjoy the sandwich and cleaning. I love you! Han**

Levi looked at the words and knew it was true. He would never be exactly what they needed because in truth, he needed Erwin. He'd just tried to pretend that he didn't but that's why he was here. To be near Erwin. He'd fallen in love with Hanji but what he wanted wasn’t fair to them. Hanji deserved better. They deserved the best. Hanji didn’t need broken. Hanji needed warmth and security. Hanji needed Mike.

He loved them. But he had to stop.

***************

Erwin was cool and their relationship was moving into another phase. Levi could no longer deny he wanted Erwin around him, wanted to be with him more and more. Hanji noticed. If Mike did, he never let on. It was on the beach that Hanji told him they could sense it. He played it off that they weren’t even in that serious of a relationship and Hanji wholly agreed in the conversation. But inside they both knew that was a crock of shit because you don’t live with someone for ten months and do what they had done and not be in a committed relationship and in love.

Levi started to watch Mike more, bond with him more, and finally he decided to end it. Hanji took it well. Levi didn’t. He didn’t take it well at all. But after they spoke about their own past problems and difficulties healing and finding safety Levi knew that he wasn’t in the same stage of processing and healing as they were and therefore, he had to set them free to be with the man who’d waited since he was 14 to be their everything.

Hanji would always be something so much more to him than the girl at the foot of the hill of crosses.

They’d be the person who he held in his arms, found comfort in their body, kissed with real love freely on the lips, and shared his story with on his own terms in his own time. 

Hanji was a part of himself.

Hanji was his second home.

Hanji knew all of his secrets and he knew their's. They’d never be apart in their minds. Never.

*****************

Hanji made Erwin put the ring up and start small. Hanji helped Erwin tune in more to what Levi needed and in doing so they watched as these two who'd been through the unthinkable started to adjust to living together in the real world again. They also watched them actually fall in love with each other smoothly and then, 

_”Hey! ARE YOU EREN JÄGER!?” “Ummm yeah.” WHAT BEAUTIFUL EYES HE HAS OH- …….Levi….._

*****************

Hanji sat back in the chair with Nikko finally falling asleep, “Your aba ended up telling me some more after he met your baba. I’m so happy you’re here. I’m so happy you have the aba and baba you do. I love you, Nikko. I love you because your father is one of the greatest loves of my life and because you are a part of him and I know you’ll do things, wonderful things, when you grow up to be his age. I hope you make someone feel the way he made me feel. I know you’ll be a perfect husband and father one day if that’s what you want. I want to see it. I want to know you.”

It was time for dinner and Hanji heard Mike call for her. She stood up and took a peaceful Nikko down the stairs to the dining room. Ilya stepped out of the jack and jill bathroom and looked around. He followed quietly down the stairs to join them as they ate BBQ and wished Mike and Hanji well.


	150. Goodbye II

Hanji sat down at the table with Nikko, “I wondered where my son went.” Eren said with a smile on his face. Hanji nodded, “I mean, he’s just so sweet I had to take him.” Levi was holding Mila in his arms while he made them a sandwich and plated them small bits of food. Hanji’s heart was melting and Mike leaned over from behind them and kissed them. “I love you, Hanji.” Hanji kissed him, “I love you too, big daddy.” Erwin laughed shortly, “Oh, wow. You’ve become your father.” Mike laughed, “I know. I like it.” Armin made Erwin a plate while he bounced Zev on his hip, “I put extra pickles on the side.” He leaned down and kissed Erwin who was now sitting and excited to eat his favorite BBQ, “Thank you, baby.” 

Mike rolled his eyes, “I think you’re my father, too.” Erwin looked a little ashamed, “That’s true. Maybe I always wanted someone to call baby like he did your momma.” Hanji looked at Levi who sat down, “Leevee!” He turned his head to face Mila who was twisting in his lap, his french a torrent of love, “Yes, my sweetness?” “I love you. You stay?” Levi paused, “Not tonight, sweetness. Maybe another.” “Leevee!” She said dramatically, “I say, I love you!” He smiled, “Oh, yes. I heard you.” “LEEVEE! I LOVE YOU!” “Yes, thank you.” “SAY IT!” “I love you too, Mila.” She smiled eating some of her macaroni and cheese, “Always say it!” She commanded and Armin and Eren were smiling so hard it hurt, “She told you, Levi.” He kissed her head, “She did.”

Everyone was eating but they all noticed that Hanji and Levi were just not good. They may have each other’s child but there was no talking. It was uncomfortable and then someone brought it up and Hanji and Levi were put on the spot. Levi looked at his plate, “We don’t need to talk.” Hanji swallowed and then looked over to the side, “It’s whatever. You know, we’re just not as sentimental as you all want us to be.” Ilya wanted to cry. He knew that was a lie and it broke his heart. He tried to compose.himself but it didn’t work.Hanji saw his face and it didn’t take long for her to realize he was behind her when she got to the end of the stairs. He had offered to clean the…. “Oh God.” She said quietly and Ilya looked at her. She was trying to hold back the tears but they were coming. She took a shuddering deep breath and closed her eyes, tears escaping. No one moved. No one knew what to do.

“I'm so sorry.” Ilya began and Maxim took his hand, concern written on his face and protectiveness in his shoulders, “But I just,” “You could have left, Ilya. You wanted to hear.” “I'm. …..you're right. I'm so sorry. But, I was never,” “You would have told Maxim. That's what lovers do. They share. You would have done that.” Levi swallowed, “What's happened?” Hanji got up and handed Nikko back to Eren. She went outside and the table was silent. Mike stood up slowly, “Well, someone please put a cover on my food.”

He went outside and they were crying silently. “Let me guess, you told Nikko about things that you don't ever talk about?” She turned around, wiped her nose on her sleeve, “You think you know me so well.” She said with a hint of teasing. He smiled softly, “Because, I do.”

***************

It was like a thunderbolt had struck him when he heard that Levi and Hanji were over. Levi moved out and into whatever Erwin and he were calling it. He grabbed his rain jacket and Jessica sat up on the couch, “Where are you going!? IT'S STORMING OUTSIDE, MIKE!” Mike had been dating her for about two months. She worked in poultry science but she wasn't really all that….what's the word? Oh yeah, _nice._

Mike stopped, “Jessica, it ain't workin’ sugarpie.” She got so red in the face, “MIKE! WHAT THE FRICK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!” “I'm sayin’, you might be pretty on the outside but you sure as hell ain't on the inside. Also, it's _fuck_. Just because you change one letter doesn’t change the meaning.” He left and started running across campus. 

************

That morning Levi had woke up and told Hanji it was over. Really…..this time it was…..but instead they’d ended up emotional and heated. He had them in his lap, their legs around him while they moved up and down his length while they moaned into each other’s skin, “This is it, really.” He said husky and rough. Hanji kissed him, “Yeah, me too. I'm done.” “Honestly, this is it.” “Better make it count then” Levi was pushed on his back while they rode him roughly to completion. “You know,” Hanji said laying on his chest, “tomorrow it'll be the same thing.” Levi snorted, “I'm addicted to your talent for filth.” “What about Erwin?”

Levi hummed, “We haven't given each other a chance yet to see how it is now.” “You might need to.” “You know I hate you.” “I knooooooow. I hate you too.” “Sit on my face.” “No.” “Please, Hanji.” “Beg.” Levi sighed with a humph, “Please, pleeeaaaase sit on my face so I can drown in your dripping wet cunt, baby. Fuckin’ smother me with it and let me feel that fat juicy ass as it suffocates me. I just want you to swing those thighs around me and give me a glimpse of heaven. Please, I need it, I'm a desperate man. I want to taste you, I want your come on my face so I can lick traces of you off the entire day, please. Fuck, baby, you're so fucking hot. Give me some of that sweet pussy and I'll do anything you want. Pleeease, I wanna die between those thick fine ass thighs.” Hanji laughed, “You should work at the UN.” Levi frowned, “I despise the UN. What a farce it is now. Moral force to moral farce.” “I'll sit on your face if you promise to stay for dinner.” “Deal. That's even better, actually. I'll be eating you out for a long time then. It's just now almost lunch.”

He slapped and groped their ass moaning softly to himself while they kissed him, pulling on his bottom lip, “You’re such an ass man.” “I like your tits too, baby. They're fucking mega geil. And when you let me suck on them, fuck! I love the taste of them, love to feel how heavy they are. Everything about you is delicious.” “How sad you'll be when we really really really break up after dinner.” He frowned and sighed, “Fuck, there's nothing like your delicious moist pussy.” “You've got such a gutter mouth.” “I know. Erwin's always trying to reform it.” “Tough job. I wish him luck.”

Levi smiled softly, “I'm not really wanting to be reformed.” Hanji smiled, “Well, Erwin doesn't give up so…..you'll either reform to a certain degree or he'll die. He….really loves you.” “I…..don't do that.” “What?” “That.” “Love? Seriously? Don’t you….love me?” “I….can't do that with anyone.” It was a lie. He loved them. But it couldn’t be said. He couldn’t make this harder. He was addicted to them but his heart was telling him that ultimately Erwin and he were more….beschert than he and Hanji. 

They ate lunch and Levi was more than content to spend the rest of the day with them on his face. When it got closer to dinner he left to get something to cook. Hanji cleaned up and started doing some work when there was a knock on the door, “Hanji!” Mike was soaking wet and he was out of breath, “I need to talk to you.” “Mike, what's wrong? You're normally like a lovable sloth.” They were nervous and he knew it. Mike brought his hands up and then dropped them, “Hanji, I heard you and Levi are broken up.”

Hanji took a step back, “Yeah….I'm fine about it. A little sad but you know, it wasn't that serious.” Hanji said with a smile that blanketed how they were actually very sad but it was necessary. Mike’s face faltered, “Oh, Hanji, shut the fuck up with that. It was serious and that's why I've never said anything till now.” “What are talking about?” “Hanji, I'm in love with you.”

Their brain did not compute, “You love me? I love you, too.” “No! HANJI I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU!” Hanji gasped, “Since when!?” “Since about 7 years, three months, one week, 0 days and,” he looked at his watch, “7 hours.” Hanji didn’t know what to say, “I...never thought you saw me like that, I ….. never thought you did. I'm sorry. I feel stupid. I feel like I'm in trouble.” Mike shook his head, “No, I'm the dumbass that never once told you. Not when we were making out, not those times we almost had sex, not even when you were there in Arkansas with me. I fucked up. But I can't live with it anymore. I can't live like this, not telling you. I don't expect anything. I just can't not tell you that you are _my everything._ All i want is to care for you, support you, love you, protect you, and I want to do those things not as a friend. I want a home with you, a family, I want a minivan.” Hanji laughed awkwardly, “A red one?” “Any kind you want.” “Mike I…..never knew I swear. I thought it was maybe….I always thought if you thought something you'd just tell me.” “And I didn't about this one thing.” “Wow that's dumb.” “I know.”

Mike kept going, “Levi is a great guy. I think of him like a brother. I hoped you'd two be happy and make it last. Yes, even at my expense. I care about him. That's why, if there is even a small chance you might get back together then I won't stand in your way. But if not then could we maybe go on a date? A real date. I know you couldn't possibly feel as strongly as I do right now,” “You did bring up marriage, family, and a mini van,” “I know and I know that any sane person wouldn't be there with me yet but I feel like I've known you my entire life. I feel like I've loved you before I even knew who you were. I feel like I was born to love you and to try and be with you. I'm sorry. It's insanity what I'm sayin’ but it's how I feel.” Hanji had tears in their eyes, “Good thing I'm insane.”

Mike was crying too, smiling. Levi cleared his throat, he'd witnessed the whole thing. He stepped forward and hugged Mike, “It's okay,” he looked at Hanji around Mike’s shoulder, “were officially over. We're friends and honestly I think you were meant for Hanji. Really.” He pulled back and handed them the package, “Here's that food you wanted. They've been working all day and you know they forget to eat.” He patted Mike’s shoulder, “Yeah, they do.” Levi smirked, “Why don't you cook them something so they don't die. I gotta do other shit.” And with that Levi left down the hall and they were done. A few more talks with Mike one on one and it was done. They'd managed 4 years of nothing inappropriate. And then the other day they slipped. But it wasn't what everyone would think. It really wasn't. This was just how they were. Two very odd broken people that didn’t have to speak to understand what the other desperately needed. 

Levi had been afraid of Erwin. Hanji had merely been a return to something different. A special type of comfort. But, Mike knew something else, “Is it about Lithuania?”

Hanji blinked, “What?” “We're you talking about when you two went to Lithuania and lied and said New york? Erwin told me. Erwin tells me a lot of things. Sorry, but then again not really because I was to Erwin in a way what you were to Levi in that time.” She wiped her face and told him shortly about Lithuania. His eyes widened, “Those crosses we donated when we moved into the trailer were from your grandmother. Shit…...” Hanji snorted, “You'd not love me if you knew me.” She started to sob, “I’m so ugly.” “No, Hanji, you're an amazing person with the soul of an eagle. You're actually the one doing good in the world. No pain, no hate, no nothin. Look at our baby girl? An ugly person couldn’t have made that.”

Hanji walked into Mike’s arms, “I’m doing this for us to become closer.” Mike smelled the top of their head, “I know.” “But, Mike, you know I love you. You know you’re my husband, the only one I’m ever going to have, right?” He sighed, “What did you do?” “I’m just saying, you know my heart belongs to you, right?” Mike chuckled, “I know you’d never have married me or had a child with me if that wasn’t true.” “Good.” “What was in Lithuania? I mean, was there something in a closure or existential way?” Hanji nuzzled her face into his chest, “I killed my grandmother. I went to the hill of cross and then….I went to France with Levi.” Mike snorted, “Always Levi. I love that bastard but I wish I’d just told you sooner. I am too normal to compete with his special brand of fucked up.”

Hanji looked at the house, “I don’t want people to know my weakness or my secrets.” “You’re in the wrong family, baby.” “I know. But, he could have just left.” “He could have. That’s right. But, Hanji, you gotta talk to Levi before we go.” Mike picked her up, “If you don’t, I’ll make you.” He said into her ear, slowly but seriously. Hanji kissed his neck, “I don’t wanna.” She whined and Mike breathed her in more, “I’ll have to punish you, momma. Put you in time out.” She squealed, “I love you, big daddy.”

*****************

Their first date was ridiculous. Mike took them to a football game and while that was fine, afterwards they were followed from restaurant to restaurant by Erwin and Levi. They were “undercover” but poorly. Fake mustaches and outlandish clothes. Levi looked like the disco gangster king while Erwin looked like a pimp prep boy. They noticed that every now and then Erwin took Levi’s hand and he didn't shrug it away. Hanji got food poisoning and Mike took them home while they threw up in his baseball hat. He stayed with them for almost three days before finally returning to work. The next two weeks they worked, barely saw each other, and kept their distance.

However, one day Mike was walking along the sidewalk from his last class and then BAM. Into the back of a truck he was thrown and pinned down. A bag over his head and he was fighting mad. When he was finally released and dumped into a chair he found himself in the basement of one of the dorms . Erwin and a very sunburned Levi were before him, “Mike, please tell us why you and Hanji are not in love and eloping yet?” Erwin’s face was so pleasant but lurking beneath it was danger, “Well, they’ve been sick.” “False.” Levi began, “They were sick for three days, waiting for five would have been understandable but after that, well, that's unacceptable cadet.” “Cadet? We’ve been busy.” Erwin frowned, “Levi, reveal the chart.” Levi rolled his eyes and walked over to a large sheet. He pulled it off and under it was their schedules and all the times they had free and when they could get up together, “As you can see, you’ve had plenty of opportunity.” Levi nodded, “We’re going to have to ask you do commit yourself to the cause and do better! Even a mutt like you can do something to capture the attention of a thoroughbred.”

When Mike was about to protest Levi removed his phone, “Hanji?” He put them on speaker, “Um yeah?” “We have Mike here.” “Oh...hi Erwin...hi Mike?” “Hanji, these jokers,” “Want to see you two get together on a date and have a nice night.” “So, we’re going to make that happen.” “Ummm wut?” “There should be a car pulling up.” “It’s black, shitty glasses.” “Oh, um, wait, someone is knocking on my door. I don’t like this!” “Miss, we’re here to take you.” “UM LEEEEVI!” “JUST GO SHITTY GLASSES!” “Give in to the flow, Hanji.” “HANJI DON’T DO ANYTHING YOU DON’T WANT TO DO!” “OH MY GOD THEY’VE PICKED ME UP!”

Levi ended the call and moved towards Erwin, “Levi, the suitcase.” “I’m not your fucking slave, shithead.” “You are a foul mouth hooligan.” “Tch, What-the-fuck-ever.” He brought a suitcase out from beneath the schedule, “Okay, have fun.” Erwin snapped his fingers and more men were there to escort Mike out to a car with Hanji inside waiting. “Where are we going?” “It’s top secret.” “Are….are you pledges?” “ROTC Marines.” “Oh my God, Erwin Smith knows no shame.” “I think this might be fun, Mike.” Hanji took his hand and smiled. Mike wanted to kiss them, “You’re always into shit like this, Han.” “I know. I like excitement.”

***************

They were at a beach house with a stocked fridge and everything they could need. They had a butler. They had, “Can y’all leave?” “No sir, Mr. Smith says we have to stay and make sure you don’t leave.” “Uggghhhhhhhhh where are the sweets!” Hanji fell on the floor, “I just want candy.” “We’ll get that Miss.” “Cool. I could get used to this.” *********** Mike eventually calmed down and embraced the prospect of swimming and eating fruit with Hanji for a long weekend. He made sure to keep close in case they wanted to, “Do you want to have sex?”

Hanji was in a loose bohemian style dress, no bra, hair down and free. Once again, freebird on the speakers, fire pit by the pool glowing, and their dinner being taken away from them. “You want to have sex now?” Hanji shrugged, “Well, I didn’t know if you were the type of guy who wanted to be asked or wanted to swoop someone off their feet.” Mike smiled, “I think you know I'd like to swoop.” Hanji smiled, “Well, any time you're ready.”

******

Hanji was against the wall while Mike cupped their breasts through their dress, “What do you like, Hanji?” Hanji pushed closer, lips searching for his, “Mmm,” Hanji took his shirt off, “Damn, Mike, you're….you're a huge guy. I MEAN DAMN!” He smiled, “Yeah well, what did you expect?” “I don't know….but now I want to see what's in your pants.” Hanji's fingers pulled at the buttons, “You like it rough, baby?” “Yeah.” “Dirty talk?” “Yeah.” “Anything you don't?” “Anal.” “Damn. That's the only thing I like.” Hanji hit him playfully, “Maybe one day, who knows? But I'd rather you put me on really high things and fuck me first.”

Mike lifted them up suddenly, “I’ll fuck you wherever you want, Hanji.” His gruff voice made them feel a spark in their heart and then it grew into an inferno as Mike tossed them up on the vanity in the bathroom and pushed into them. Hanji moaned, their body seized up slightly, “Oh, fuck, Mike.” “You like that?” “Oh God yes.” “I’m going to make you come all over my thick cock.” Hanji believed him and when he did make them come, they were hooked. Apparently, fucking your lifetime best friend can work out just marvelously.

Mike moved them to the bed and he was just as talented with his tongue as Levi had been driving them wild until the morning. They slept, woke up, had lunch, and then they made love, real love. Mike told them how he loved them, for their mind, for their personality, for the way they saw the world. He also admitted shamefully how he used to steal their underwear and that lead to lots of laughter at his expense and then a downright nasty blowjob that made his head spin. He’d never even known he liked some of the things they did to him that weekend. Mike and Hanji were there, finally, at the same place. They loved one another, they had a sexual connection, they had similar goals, now it was just deciding on how they should take this. Should they take things slow or should they move fast?

“You can...move in with me?”

“My trailer is paid for, Hanji.”

“Oh, yeah, that wouldn’t make sense.”

“But you moving in with me would.”

Hanji smiled and kissed him. They’d gone skinny dipping in the pool and were now on their towels cuddling. Mike kissed them all over, “I’m so glad they made us come.” Hanji giggled, “Me too.” Mike looked at them, stroking their hair out of their face, “Are you happy?” Mike worried they might not be. That he might just be a rebound. “Actually,” he cringed because he knew he was right, they’d moved too fast, “I feel better than happy. I feel insanely comfortable, safe, warm, happy, and I feel like I can do anything because you get me and know me so well.” He was so relieved, “Are you happy, Mike?” “Oh, I would need another word to describe this.”

****************

Levi was now working with Hanji in the lab and when they returned they spun him in the chair and sat in his lap, “So, it happened.” “I know, shitty glasses.” Hanji looked confused, “Erwin had the house wired.” “YOU WATCHED US HAVE SEX?!” Levi sighed, “Yeah, it was painful. He had popcorn and was acting like it was some soap opera couple finally getting together.” Hanji smiled, “That’s kind of sweet.” Levi rolled his eyes, “Are you happy?” “Very.” “Then that’s all that matters to me.”

*****************

Levi and Hanji stood in the kitchen, “Are you happy?” Hanji nodded her head, “Yes….no.” “Pick one.” “No.” “Then I don’t know what to do.” “I just….I have to go. SO, I’m not happy because I can’t stay and work on me with you here. I love you. But, I need to get back to basics. I need to spend time with Mike, he needs to take it easy. I want Mila to know her grandparents. I want to be close to them again. I love them. They’re the only family I have. I need to start telling Mike things I’ve never told anyone but you. I have to work on me, Levi. That makes me happy. This potential makes me happy. I’m scared…”

Levi had never heard her say that, “Of what?” “Mike never lives, my baby only lives sometimes, I’m scared. I want to spend as much time with them as possible.” Levi covered his mouth, “Did you…” “It stays between us. There’s nothing to worry about.” He took their hand, “Don’t leave me.” “I have to.” “No, you don’t.” “I do.” “Please.” “You know it’s true. After what happened, I have to now.” “You,” he was crying, “trapped me.” Yes, that’s exactly what she did. “I know. I’m sorry. It was the only way you’d let me go.” Levi covered his eyes, wiping his tears, “I’ll never let you go.”

Hanji moved to hug him, “I’ll be here for your children’s births, for the important things. But, for now I’ve got to do something different and find out who I am without you. You came in and changed my life. I love that you did. But, I’m just lost right now. Mila’s going to be the hardest thing.” Levi was sobbing, “Don’t take her from me, please. Don’t take her.” Hanji and Levi cried in the kitchen while the others cleaned and tried to respect their privacy. When they finally packed them up and said goodbye both were tear stained and silent. Levi put Mila down to sleep and cut a lock of her hair, “Don’t tell your mother.”

*************

Fran and Owen hugged them till they could barely breathe. She was guided through a tour of the property and then they were graciously dropped off at their new house. It was a ranch style with all the amenities of the farm. Hanji's hands were itching to do something but now that they weren't at the school they'd have to find a normal and legal way to let off some steam. Mila was being spoiled by her grandparents and Mike was enjoying his mom and dad. She nestled into his side and looked around at the bareness of the house she would call home. 

*******

A few days later and knick knacks placed she felt more settled. Mila was amused with farm life and Mike spent his time only a few minutes away. He ate lunch with them at 12, dinner at 6. Mila swam at the pool in his parent's backyard. It was all pretty great. 

When Mike got in early one day she gave him a surprised look, “Boss man let you off early?” He smiled and walked over, some wildflowers behind his back for her. “We get a date night.” “We do?” She smiled incredulously, “I barely know what to make of that.” “Momma and dad are gunna watch Mila.” Mila was reading her new book which was of course about her. Marco had the publisher send two copies over. A signed and a play one. 

Hanji kissed him, he smelled so nice, “Cool. Where you gunna take me?” “Oh, it's a surprise.” “YESSSSSS I LOVE THOSE!” “I know you do.”

*******

They went to an animal science convention with displays and live talks. Mike loved it but there was a space devoted entirely to live surgery and that's where Hanji planted herself. He held her to him, watched, learned. They went to a stake house afterwards and started to get to know some of the locals who aĺl had heard about the Zacharius boy moving back with his young wife and daughter. Owen and Fran were extremely popular. 

Hanji watched as Mike grew even more happy in this new place doing what he loved. She thought he was so handsome, more so than when she met him. She couldn't deny that this man made her feel like everything in the world was going to be okay and nothing could touch them. They were a safe and happy family with Mike at the head. He was her joy and the father of her child. 

_The best father in the world._

**************

Mike opened the door, his hands on her hips as he pushed up her dress, fingers dipping into her panties in the front. He pulled her closer, pushed down on her sex with pleasured pressure while her breath hitched. He kissed her neck and she turned around pushing him against the wall, “Glad to see that this plaid is back.” Her voice was husky, her eyes shined. 

Mike smiled and then he leaned down kissing them breathless as his hands pulled her buttons undone on the back of her dress. He started to unclasp her bra, one hand grabbing a mound of her flesh in his huge hand. She moaned slightly, a little surprised. He could really make her do anything he wanted due to his size. 

He pushed her to the couch and then took his pants off, her hands pulled at his shirt while she kissed him sensually, biting his lips and trying to press herself against him again. He pulled her hair out of the ponytail. She smiled and he lifted her over his shoulder fireman style. 

Mike was all legs and arms. Broad chest, great strong hips and despite the accident, he was still strong. He like to fuck her standing up, her legs around his waist. She hung on to him, moaning wantonly and at his full mercy because he was the one keeping her off the floor. He thrusted into her, their skin slapping against each other. She kept her arms around his neck, face buried in his shoulder. When she looked up at him to kiss him he thought no one had ever looked so beautiful. 

He hoped she was happy. He'd never been as happy. 

**************

Eren was in the office when Levi walked in. He’d been so quiet lately and so cut off that Eren was surprised to see him. He had Nikko and was holding him to his chest while he slept, “Eren, I want to talk to you about something.” Eren put his papers down, “Yeah?” “I’ve been thinking about doing something but I’m afraid you’ll be mad.” Eren had never been in this situation, “Um...Levi you know I’m the one that gets in trouble, right?” “Levi was seriously nervous, “I want to volunteer to be a white helmet medic in Syria. I’d leave for a month and maybe a week or two more. But, I’d be leaving you here with Nikko and another child on the way. Which is so selfish of me to do.” He was seriously upset and Eren stood up slowly as to not scare his skittish husband, “I mean, yes, that’s a lot but I’d not be alone. However, I’d be worried sick about you. I'd be worried you'd die and our kids wouldn't know you. You'd also be missing parts of Nikko’s first year. He's coming up on one year.”

Levi nodded holding Nikko tighter, “I can’t do nothing…” He started to sob, “I can’t do nothing. It’s now almost a decade of fighting and I know that I can’t do nothing. What kind of world am i bringing children into?!” Eren moved forward, he took Nikko and laid him on couch moving the pillows around him. He then took Levi’s face in his hands, “I love you. I understand. If this will help you then do it.”

Levi and Eren talked about it for a long time. If he died then Eren would be widowed with two children. under 2. Hanji had been gone now for almost over a month and Eren wondered if it was connected, “Is part of this because you miss Hanji?” Levi sighed, “She's right. When I came here she became my safe place. She was my best friend, my lover. Everything until I gave in and let myself be vulnerable with Erwin. Then she was my partner and best friend. Then I met you and it seems like I was always counting on her to be there and do things for me that weren't fair. She has her own family and I'm a part of her family but not that one. I didn't respect it. I don't really know what to do without her being near me now. I'm sorry, Eren. But, I just can't ignore that something is going on in me, in the world. I can't be this way anymore. I need to find myself and then come home to you. I know none of this makes sense and I'm sorry for that. I'm shit with words.” Eren sighed, “I love you.” Levi started to cry again, “You are the love of my life. You are the love of all my lives. You know, I can survive Hanji, I can survive Armin, I can survive Erwin, but I can't survive you if something happened. Look at our children. I know when I look I see that they are only here because of you. Please….never leave me. Please, please, please ahuvi never leave me.” Eren tried to lighten the mood, “It's you trying to do the leaving.”

They went to their room and laid in bed with their son. Levi left kisses all over Nikko, he pressed his nose into his hair, “Nehemiah you smell like France. You smell like my mother when we lived there. I do not understand but it's a sign from God. Maybe, you'll want to go to France, too. One day, I'll take you mon coeur. With your beautiful baba and siblings.”

Eren nuzzled into his side, “You’re a good man, Levi. I'm so lucky.” He kissed him and closed his eyes just enjoying the feeling of his family so near him. He tried not to think of Levi dying in a foreign land. 

***********

Armin stood in the panic room with the wombs. He was leaned against the wall, “I hope we're having girls.” Erwin smiled as he changed the music in the player, “I think we might be.” Zad scoffed, “Those are two strong boys. I don't know about those…... other two. They might be girls.” Armin sighed, “Well, as long as they're all healthy.” “Oh, little shefeleh, don't lie. You've already gotten addicted to pink.” Zad clasped his hand on his shoulder and brought him closer, “I just want a little princess to spoil.” Zad eyes were wicked, “But then what would do with you? You're our little princess.” Armin bit him, “I'm a queen, you peasant.”

***********

A few days later Armin was looking for Erwin and decided to go down to their “home gym.” It wasn’t finished yet but it would be after they had the other babies. Armin stood, face amused, “Um, Erwin?” Erwin was squatting and moving Zev from one hip to the middle and to the other. He lifted him up and down. He felt Armin, “Baby?” “Are you using Zev as a weight? “Yeah, why not? He’s heavy enough and we’re bonding.” “You’re using your son as a work out tool.” “Well,” he smiled and put Zev in his pack and play. He walked to Armin with a mischievous grin, “I can use you now.”

Armin stepped back, “Noooooo!” He squealed as Erwin chased him around and then grabbed him up into his arms picking him up and down, “Ah yes, this is much more of a work out.” “HEY!” “Baby, you keep eating cake and cookies and you’ll be my perfect challenge.” “MEAN! I’M A TINY FLOWER!” “You are, you are.” He kissed Armin all over and soon they were lip locked and on the floor letting their hands roam each other. Armin wrapped his leg around Erwin’s hip and smiled into their kiss, “I love you, Erwin Ziv Smith.” Erwin chuckled, “I’m hopelessly in love with you, Armin Smith.”

******

Armin and Erwin went into the media room with their son and turned on some old films. Armin held Zev as he played with his stuffed wolf and he sent off a few emails. “We should, you know, get to writing those chapters…” Erwin sat down with a thump, popcorn bouncing in the bowl, “I know, sugarpop. I’ll get right on that.” He smiled and Armin gave him an “oh really” look, “Uh huh, where you gunna start, daddy?” Erwin shrugged, “Why does that matter?” “Because you need to know where to start.” “I’m just gunna let you tell me where to start.” Armin and Erwin went silent. 

Erwin couldn’t believe he’d said it. Armin couldn’t believe he’d heard it. “Erwin? You gotta explain, daddy.” Erwin laughed awkwardly and kissed Zev lovingly, “I...well, baby, I just am kind of okay with you running home and me and our kids. I’m just okay with you making the decisions.” Armin started to panic, “I don’t want to make every decision!” Erwin smiled, ‘Naw, not everyone but like...most of them. I trust you and your ability to run us as a family.” “So, like, you want me to be the wife?” “The Jewish wife.” “DAMN, That’s a lot of power.” “I mean, if you tell me not to eat something because of my health or not to do something because of whatever I’m just gunna listen. I don’t wanna make choices anymore. You’re so smart, beautiful, talented, I mean you’re unique and one of a kind.” “That means the same thing. Don’t use both of those.” “See, stuff like that. I love that.” “Shut up, Erwin. This contradicts our relationship where baby doesn’t tell daddy what to do. Obviously, this is just a passing thing.” “See, you know me better than I know me. You’re also the prettiest momma, handsomest vati.” 

Erwin pulled Armin into him and slowly kissed him, “This is everything in the world to me. You, Zev, our new baby. This is my heart.” Armin smiled and kissed him again, “Wow, such a charmer.” Zev laughed and picked his wolf up and down, crawling slightly towards Erwin, “He wants his daddy.” Armin giggled and pulled at his little bloomers over his diaper, “I want his daddy.” Armin looked up through his eyelashes and bit his bottom lip, “Like, I want him bad.”

Erwin leaned down and kissed him, “Mmm I want you to baby doll.” “Put Zev in his pack and play for a few minutes and play with me, daddy.” “Oh, yes, I can do that.” Erwin put Zev in his pack and play and he squealed and crawled among his toys. When he turned back to Armin he was on his knees pulling at the hem of his shirt, biting his pink pouty lips, long blond hair in his baby blue eyes. Erwin moved towards him, lips capturing, tongue lapping, his hands grabbed at Armin’s pert little bottom pushing him on his back.

Erwin grinded his hips against Armin’s as he nibbled on his collar bone, “You’re so beautiful, baby.” Armin’s breath hitched sweetly as he reached inside of his pants and grabbed his hardening sex. Erwin loved pleasuring Armin and watching his face. He loved how he panted and whined. When Armin started to come undone he moved off the couch and onto his knees. He took Armin into his mouth, lavishing him with affection and sucking on him like he tasted like candy. He kind of did. How did Armin always smell the best and taste the best? Does he bathe in cotton candy? Erwin didn’t know or mind at all.

Armin whimpered and came with Erwin moaning around him. When he sat back up, Armin moved forward, kissing him sloppily and holding his face between his hands, “Let me help you out, daddy.” Armin pulled him lightly and Erwin took his place on the couch with Armin moving to the floor, “I love you, baby.” Armin stroked Erwin and then took him in his mouth. Erwin leaned back groaning while Armin’s head bobbed up and down. He worked him, worked him well. His hands fondled his balls and teased his entrance. Erwin felt Armin slip one of his petite fingers inside of him with a particularly hard suck on his glands under the head of cock and he came. Armin and Erwin cleaned up slightly and laid on the couch together catching their breath and cuddling.

“I love you, baby.” Erwin moved Armin’s hair out of his eyes, “I’m so happy you're my husband and you have given me such a beautiful son and beautiful future son or daughter.” Armin nuzzled into him, “I’m hungwies.” Erwin smiled, “There’s popcorn.” “Yuck, it’s sex popcorn.” “We should LOVE sex popcorn.” “Shuuush, I make the decisions, let’s get non sex food.” “Okay, baby, anything you want.”

Zev was fussy and Armin knew that was the sign they had to get something to eat for at least him.

**************

When they started dinner Zev was really fussing, “He’s so hungwies.” “He’s had two bottles.” “Well….give him a third.” “Do you think he’s going to be like Eren?” “Oh God, yeah. I’ve resigned myself to that a long time ago.” “Thank God.” “Thank God, what?” “That we’re rich.” “Ha, yeah.” Eren and Levi appeared with a fussy Nikko. They had been a little weird lately and Erwin and Armin were trying to decide when they should bring it up, “I’m going to Syria.”

Erwin and Armin kept cooking and then finally Erwin paused, “Did you say something?” “I’m going to Syria for a month. I’ve volunteered to be a medic with them and I’ll be heading to Turkey for two weeks for training and then one month I’ll be in the field.” Eren patted Nikko’s back, “I’m going to Turkey for the two weeks of training with Nikko. I’ll do some research or I don’t know...I just want to be close to Levi.” Armin wasn’t taking it well but it was Erwin that was he was worried about, “Levi! NO!” Levi cringed, “Erwin, you don’t get to tell me how I run my life.” 

“It was hard enough to handle when were there!” “You won’t be going so suck it up.” “Fuck off, Levi. You have children and a husband and us!” “I NEED THIS!” Erwin put dishes in the sink, “You know what? I don’t even care. GO, go and get yourself killed. I’ll take over this family. It doesn’t matter that your children will hold a photo of you with a black ribbon across it for the rest of their lives. Who gives a fuck.” Armin kept cutting vegetables, “Please, don’t go.” He looked at Levi, red rims around his eyes, “But, you know, be safe if you do.” Eren and Armin exchange worried looks and Levi went outside to smoke.

It went better than he’d expected but Erwin was a time bomb.

****************

Boi beshalom ateret ba'alah gam besimcha uv’ tzhala, toch emuney am segulah, boi calah, boi calah.

Levi walked towards them covered in dust from concrete that had been cut through. He was tired, thirsty. Donner barked and wanted to see Nikko, “You….can’t take him, Levi.” Levi looked at him curiously, “Who?” “Donner.” “But, he is trained for this.” “And if he died?” Levi paused, “He won't.” “No,” a man walked up speaking in Turkish, “no dogs. They get killed easily. Plus, that little boy needs a good dog.” Eren nodded and replied in Turkish, “That’s right. He needs to help me with this little guy.” 

Levi smiled and touched Nikko’s hair, “Aba loves you.” There was whispering and then, “This is the son of Levi?” “That little boy is yours?” “Is that your son?” “Well, let’s see him!” The men gathered around and took Nikko, holding him up, kissing him, showing him off. They praised his beauty. They said he was his son through and through. They were amazed that Eren was also the father and while they didn’t all agree with it, they found it interesting and very positive for the world these wombs that could give most wished for life. Nikko was returned to Levi who back at the hotel kissed and played with him while Eren looked for things to occupy his time while Levi was away, “You could go to find that place.” Eren hummed, “I did already.” 

*******

Eren had taken Nikko to where his “family” lived and then after they realized that the cover was blown they took him to old ruins, “They came and put them all in a house.”

“What kind of house?”

“Just...a house, you know? People lived there, you know.”

“And then what happened?”

“They set it on fire. Mothers...they threw their children out and they tossed them back in. This place...you know...it was bad for long time in history. It is also special now. Helps them in Judea.”

“I think I know why.”

They followed him to the door and down the stairs in the cellar he found another water purifier and men and women with wide eyes and no voices.

***************

The white dust collected everywhere as Levi looked around the city. He heard the rumble and looked up at the sky. Black dot moving quickly, quickly, quickly. Two more black dots moving downwards, downwards, downwards. And then _boom._ Levi heard the siren, he heard the men call and he was running down the stairs. _Boots crunching, backpack flopping, slapping, slapping, slapping against his back. Hanji’s face when the titan fell. Erwin’s laughter when Zev crawled for the first time. Mila’s strawberry stained lips._ He came into the foyer made of stone, marble that was covered in white chalk, and his feet slid on crumbing stairs.

_Eren rolling off the bed with a thump “Ow! Levi!” Levi rushing to check on him, “Oh, Levi” such a coy smirk on his face, “I’ve fallen and I’ll need some assistance to get up and I might need some deep, very deep, healing.”_ Levi was in the back of the car, “We’ve got them on Miriam Street. Wait! Wait! STOP THERE’S ANOTHER!” They quickly pulled into the middle of the street and then _Whooooosh_. There was nothing but white.

When they were able to move again only half remained in the car. They still had to get to the other area but now there were people trapped here. There were multiple bombings a day but they were lucky in that they were not all at the same time. Another bomb was dropped and Levi’s lungs burned with a chalk. _Nikko was so soft it was unbelievable. He laid on Levi’s chest while Armin sat in the new wading pool with Zev. it was night but that was okay. The pool was heated if they needed it and it was the only time Zev could come out and Armin not freak out. Nikko made such sweet noises and when Levi moved he kept his nose on his head. He was getting too big it made Levi want to weep. “Nehemiah, you are comforted by God and thus you comfort me. You rebuilt Jerusalem and now you have rebuilt me.”_ Then there was a fourth blast and his entire unit was hit.

Only half of them survived, “Levi! Go! Go to them on the east! Maybe HaShem will smile upon you like he has this past month!” Another shift in the rubble and Ibrahim was dead. Levi had made it a month. He had made it. _Why don’t I die? Why can’t I die? I just think it’s my time. Erwin said I’d die._ He ran. Boots crunching, wind silent, nothing moving, screaming, all of the screaming from bodies under rubble, bodies mangled and bleeding. Boots slapping the floor. Levi and a few others got to the scene and started combing the buildings looking for able bodied survivors. 

Levi was covered in blood and white, _red and white, red and white, red and white, red and white._ He had a girl in his arms, she was dead. He put her in the body bag. And then another bomb hit. He was trying not to lose control but he felt the ground give beneath him and he realized the the ground was now collapsing into a sink hole of sorts. He ran, he ran as fast as he could while the ground fell away from his feet with each step he was nearer and nearer to falling in the pit.

_”Where are we running to?” “The hill of crosses.” “I don’t want to go there.” “No one ever does.” Crashing, rumbling, he was falling down into the pit. “You think the devil lives in the center of those bodies? In the heart of the pit?” Erwin turned to him, lips chapped and peeling. “No,” he cleaned his knife on his shirt, the blade rusty, the woman at his feet that he kicked in, “No, the devil doesn’t exist but within sin. Sin is not what you think it is. Sin is not as you goyim believe it to be. Sin is what you should have done and didn’t do and what you did that you should not have done. The devil exists only within the confines. We don’t pay a lot of attention to him in Judaism but you goyim, you’re obsessed with him.” Levi moved closer and Erwin appraised him, “I think you are the devil, Levi.” The words stung and they unsettled. He felt his mouth move on it’s own, “Good. Then I won’t end up in that pit.”_

The rubble pressed down on him and he was bleeding. He was suffocating from the pressure on his chest under the massive concrete sections. He passed out, he’d tried, he’d really tried.

*************

“I’m gunna need you to wake up.” He twitched, eyes opening, his chest hurt so badly it almost made him cry. He was on his back, eyelashes painted white but they looked blue, he was so light blue. He looked to the side where the voice was and there was a man, dark brown hair, longer than he’d have wanted it to be. It was grown out from a nice cut, Levi could tell. It stopped about two inches below his jaw. It was pushed back, his eyes were blue like ice in the winter. He looked like him, he looked like his mother. He knew him, “Aba, you really need to be more careful. If baba had seen you,” he whistled, “in that rubble. He’d had cried and cried till the entire world was an ocean.”

He was in a very nice chocolate suit, very pale creamy peachy shirt, brown silk tie, simple cuffs that Levi admired for their small Hebrew letter of mem and nun. He was clean shaven, shoes shined and there wasn’t a speck of white chalk on him.

Two souls 

One blue 

One green 

The moon of Moses 

The tides along the beaches of Normandy 

They wait for each other to return 

One holds a key 

The other a handful of reeds 

From the land of Canaan 

They whistle 

Like the trees 

Along the dead sea 

He stood up, “Who are you?” Levi’s chest heaved and his throat was raw. The man sat back down, he could only be about 25, “Aba, how could you not know me?” Levi’s hand reached up, “Nehemiah.” “I need you to come home. I need you to see.” His voice was so sweet, just like he’d imagine it to be, his lips were like his mothers, in truth Levi looked a lot like his mother. “To see what my, Nehemiah?” He smiled softly, Eren was barely there around the eyes but he was completely there in the smile, Carla’s smile, “To see me rebuild our Jerusalem. To see us run the Babylonian's out and break their captivity.” He leaned down and kissed his father’s head, “Aba, ani ohev otkah.” 

Levi touched his face, “Ani ohev otkah.” Nikko leaned back, “Do me a favor.” “What?” “Accept the sweetness to come back.”

******************

Hanji had traveled to Lithuania after Mike got in touch with Vadimas. She wanted to meet him. She couldn’t believe he had lived. When she got there he was sitting at the table wearing a light blue suit, his hair neat, his face twitched unnaturally, “Electro shock, Hannahleh. I can’t control it.” She was standing in the door and hadn’t moved. He was sitting there, a book in his hand, “I love to read Russian poetry near the winter.” Hanji was crying and he put the book down, “I know it’s already winter but,” She ran to him, knees hitting the hard pine knotted floor, and into his lap she sobbed, “I thought I’d never see Hannahleh again.”

*******************

Hanji had left him but not forever. He wasn’t living well in Lithuania. There was still a residue from the wall and it was all over him in the country. He was a talented doctor. He was a talented man. He also told her she had to go and get him. “I heard someone came with you, Hannahleh.” “Levi.” “Levi. That’s a good name. Where is he now?” “Syria.” “No, that’s not good. It’s time.” “Time?” “For him to come home.”

*******************

Levi rolled over and then fell back on his stomach screaming. He had tears in his eyes, “Damn it. I wish I had your fucking healing abilities Eren.” He’d used the last of his serum a week ago and now he was on his own, kit empty. They never had anything really. He looked back on the pit and laid his head down, “Eren….you can’t fucking hear me but I don’t care. I miss you. I love you. I want to hold you, see you.”

Levi would call him and talk about nothing and everything. He’d missed how he smelled. He missed him kicking him at night in the bed. He missed how his lips felt. He missed him singing in the shower. He missed the way he held Nikko on his arm like he was just laying there without any support and it made Levi’s heart beat out of his chest. He missed him. He loved him. He needed him. He also missed Erwin and his broad back, his tender hands, his sharp mind of danger and the way his armpit smelled and the way his toes moved under the covers when he was trying to stay awake. He missed the way he sang to him, the way he laid on him and crushed him in his oh so loving way. And then there was sweet, beautiful, coy shefeleh. His mami who cried in secret about Zev still. Who made the best stews and was learning how to make Russian candies with his cousin. He loved how Armin was so settled into domestic life and the way he crawled into bed with Levi some mornings when Erwin and Eren had left. He would put his nose in the middle of his back and wrap his arms around him without socks. They’d laugh because that’s all Erwin ever wanted from him was naked feet.

And then he missed Mike and his calm smooth maple syrup hippie cowboy soul. His porn stash. His warm eyes and lopsided smile. He missed his wit. The way he chilled Erwin out and called him on his shit. He missed Mila, his sweetness and her beautiful bright sensitive and sometimes sassy soul. But then he missed Hanji because she was….she was his first real pain free home.

Levi was fading in and out again and then, “Levi! LEVI! GET UP!” He heard running, “Why!? Why can’t you get up!?” Tears, “Get up, come on.” Hanji was over him, “I came to get your punk ass and this is what I find! Bombs and your dumb ass hurt!” She was checking him, “You’ve got broken ribs you dumb mother fucker! I can’t believe this shit.” She looked over at the pit, “I love you and I need you to hang on till I can help you.” She lifted him and carried him back to the headquarters. A few bags ripped open and then he felt it, the burning and tingling. Hanji laid him on a mat and checked his vitals, “I fucking hate you.” 

Levi looked up, “How’s it going? It’s only been like three months.” “Great, great. I love the country and not working.” “Liar.” “I’m a little bored but I love how happy Mike is.” Levi smiled, “Yeah, he’s a lovable bastard.” “I know.” Hanji was crying, “But, Mila,” she wiped her eyes, “fucking cries and asks for you everyday and it’s so hard because I miss you and it kills me.” She leaned over and he stroked their hair, “What are we doing?” “Trying to find out who we are not together.” “Maybe we’re wrong.” “No, we’re right it’s just hard.” “Hanji, come home.” “No, not yet.” “Why?” “Because he’s so happy. I’m happy. I’m just not fully settled yet. It's quiet. It’s so peaceful and safe.” “Damn,” Levi’s eyes were full of tears, “and I thought maybe it might be full of urban punks and I could convince you to come back.” Hanji kissed his forehead, “How did you crawl out of that pit?”

“I didn’t.” “Who pulled you?” “You’d never believe me.” “Who?” “Nehemiah.” Hanji stared and pushed his hair back, “I believe you.” Levi started to cry, “This is why I need you to come back.” Hanji laid next to him, “We have to go back to our families. Your son is turning one year old soon. I’ll be there. Your other child is going to be born. I’ll be there. Then we’ll take it from there.”

*************

“Who is this?” Levi was better but still had dust in his lungs, “My name is Vadimas.” “He’s a doctor.” “Okay. What do you want me to do with that?” “Let him run Jaeger Hospital. He’s more than capable.” Vadimas smiled, “Hannah has told me so much about you.” Levi stared at him, face unreadable, “Hannah…” He looked at Hanji and then thought about it longer. His heart beat in his chest, “Okay, you can come with us.” Vadimas smiled, “Just like that?” Levi was still cautious, he looked at Hanji and saw how she shook with nerves, “Just like that.”


	151. я люблю тебя

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the typos as usual. Sorry if this is a hot mess. Sorry for everything.  
> My life just got even more jumbled and it's the high holidays so Shana Tovah and all that.

Levi saw Eren as he came down the escalators. He held Nikko and had a smile on his face. Hanji and Vadimas were behind him, smiling and waving at Mike and Mila. Erwin and Armin stood to the side with Zev waiting their turn. Levi ran down and into Eren's open arm. He kissed him, kissed Nikko and smoothed his hand over his head. He was home. 

Erwin and Armin moved closer and Levi hugged and kissed them, too. Erwin was still angry with him but he couldn’t deny how he loved him. They were all small talk and warm wishes. Mike met Vadimas and cried while Mila reached for Levi and nearly screamed when he took Nikko. 

He eventually took her as they walked to the parking lot and kissed and loved on her. Eren stared at Vadimas and Erwin walked over to question him and hug on Mike. Armin bumped into Levi and kissed him sweetly, “Our dark prince has returned. Say hi to your aba, Zev.” Levi admired Zev’s long white lashes and kissed him, “Your aba loves you. He missed you.” Mila reached out carefully to touch Zev, “He pretty.” Levi nodded, “Very pretty. Just like you, sweetness.” He kissed her and she smiled, “I love you.” “Thank you.” “ LEEVEE! SAY IT!” “It.” “NO! IT!” “I did, it!” “SAY LOVE YOU!” “I love you.” She put her hands on his face, “I love you.”

*********

Levi held Eren’s hand and kissed it while they rode in the car, “Nehemiah, he saved my life.” Eren’s brow furrowed, “What?” “I fell into this pit and was crushed by all this rubble. Then I woke up and he was grown and he’d pulled me out of the pit. He was dressed really nicely and he had your mom’s smile, your smile. His voice was so sweet. He guilted me.” Eren was getting emotional but trying to fight it, “Guilted?” “He told me, ha, he told that if you’d have seen me in that pit you would have cried an ocean.” He wiped his eyes, “So fucking dramatic. He must get that from you.” Eren suddenly exclaimed, “I love you.” Levi smiled, “I would need new words to describe to you how I felt about you, ahuvi.”

Eren held his hand tighter, “I missed you so much. Armin and I have decided to become more domestic.” “He already was heading there.” “And we broke ground on the clinic. Erwin’s been overseeing that and it’s been going smoothly.” “I can imagine.” “He loves you.” “I love him.” “And Jean and Marco have been traveling a lot with Bellamy. Ilya and Maxim are excited, you know. Really excited. Jean and Marco are all worried but Erwin’s been helping them and Zad has been a delight.” Levi looked at him suspiciously, “Really?” “Yeah, really. He’s….our Levi when you’re gone.” “That fucking stings, Eren.” “Donner and Nikko are inseparable. Salvatore, Captain, and Commander are in love with Zev and Bellamy. They like Nikko but they’re like a little gang with the other boys.”

Levi laughed, “Eren, why are you talking?” “I just want to talk.” “Okay, ahuvi. I love to listen to you.” Eren snorted, “No you don’t.” “Yes, I do.” “Our baby kicks so much it inspires their baby to kick and then the wombs move all creepily. But, we touch them and feel them and it’s so cool.” “I hope we have girls.” “Zad says that it’ll be boys. The others might have girls.” “Lucky bastards.” “I’m nervous about two, Neshama.” “It’ll be great, Eren. A little hard with logistics but great.” “But, Neshama…” “Yes?” “We’ll actually have four.” “Oh….I forgot we were a compound.” “Yeah...four babies.”

Eren kept looking forward, “And since you know, they’re having one they want to move into their own place.” “Who!?” “Jean and Marco.” Levi turned and looked like he was about to rage, “WHY!?” “They want their own space.” “WE HAVE SPACE!” “They just want their own little home.” “THEY NEED OUR HOME!” “Don’t freak out.” Levi pulled his phone out and started texting. “No, Levi.” “Hush, ahuvi.” “Nooooo.” “Ahuvi, hush!” “They’ll be mad at me!” “YOUR LOYALTY BELONGS TO ME AND OUR FAMILY!” “Who is family?” “YOU, ME, NIKKO, ZEV, ERWIN, ARMIN!”

Eren smiled, “Good, I was just checking. Because I see them as family family, you know?” Levi sighed, “Yeah…maybe we should…” “What?” “Nothing.” Nikko laughed and Levi turned around, “Motek, what is so funny?” Eren smiled, “ I have no idea what but he does that a lot. Especially, when I put him in a crib.” Levi got really weird and Eren could feel it. 

When they got home he went inside quickly and Eren assumed he had to shit. Nikko was cooing and Hanji took him, “Oh Nikko, my sweet piece of Levi.” Mike kissed him, “Such a wonderful boy.”Vadimas was smiling and a little awkward. “Hannah, what am I to do?” Hanji smiled, “Oh Vadimas. You'll be staying here with us in this house.” “They all live together.” “Yes, and I'll explain more as we go. I moved recently, remember?” “Yes but you'll be coming back.” 

Hanji stared, “What?” “You'll come back here.” Erwin walked over, “Vadimas, we'll have a room made up for you near Hanji and Mike.” Erwin spoke very good Russian now after living with Ilya and Maxim. He also wanted to impress his father. 

Vadimas smiled and they went inside. Eren went in search of Levi and when he found him he thought he'd lost his mind, “Levi, what are you doing!?” Levi was on his knees, a piece of chalk in his hands drawing a circle with symbols around Nikko’s crib, “Eren, it's to keep Lilith away. We need to put a red ribbon on him.” Eren knew Lilith and his orthodox schooling vaguely made it all make some sense. Levi wasn't insane, he was just apparently superstitious and Eren had somehow never noticed. 

They went back downstairs and Levi tied a red ribbon around Nikko’s foot. Vadimas watched and smiled, “He's sweet. That's smart.” Levi’s eyes were cautious. He stepped over, “I think so.” “Were you born at sunrise?” Levi nodded, “And in the winter?” “Yes.” “I've used my free time to become very….interested in the existential. I apologize. When they took my job at the university I had nothing. Then they closed the practice I ran.” “How long?” “Almost 20 years. Now I read.” “Family?” “No. I wasn't fortunate in that. I worked too much. I was too odd.” Levi swallowed,” Your English?” “I am out of practice but reading and writing are fine.” “Can you really run a hospital?” “People can do anything for a new life.”

Levi nodded, frowning, “Hannah….and Mike moved about four almost five months ago. You'd be here without her. You'd be running a huge hospital. Ideally we'd want to move you to the other one 2 hours from here but by yourself in another….I don't like the thought. Here you'll be with us and you'll know me because I'm a part time surgeon. I used to work at the university with Hannah. Now, I just want time to be with my children.” Vadimas nodded, “I am very self reliant and won't be as big of a burden as you think. If you need me to go to the other hospital more, then I'll go. I'm not so weak if you've seen my face. I can handle anything, really.” Levi had seen and he took his word. 

He shook his hand and then Nikko started to fuss. He wanted his son. He wanted him badly, “Mr. Ackermann?” Levi took Nikko from Eren, “Yes?” “May I see the wombs?” Hanji laughed, “OF COURSE! THEY'RE EVEN BABIES IN THEM RIGHT NOW! FOUR OF THEM!”

Mike’s face was controlled but not, “Four? Why four?” Ilya and Maxim arrived and groaned, “Always something here, you know? Always people and things and always trouble.” “Maxi! Shut up and look! Levi is back!” “Ilya, Maxim, this is Vadimas.” Armin said feeding Zev , “He is very important to Hanji and is from Lithuania. He speaks Russian fluently and is a doctor and university professor.” Maxim walked towards Armin to kiss Zev, “Da, that's fine.” Ilya walked to him and shook his hand. “I'm Ilya. It's nice to meet you.” “I like your name, Ilya. My best friend was Jewish.” “Oh, good. Then you and I will be thick as thieves, da?” “Da.” “Maxi, I like him!” 

Levi heard another car pull up and looked to Erwin who nodded, “It's a go.” Levi nodded and handed Nikko to Maxim. “Let's do this.” Erwin smiled, “Let's.” Mike grew impatient for once, “Why are there four wombs when there should be only two?” Hanji smiled, “Because Jean and Marco decided to have one.” “And the other?” “Ilya and Maxim.” Mike held a sleeping Mila on his shoulder and was glad he remembered before he got too loud or too intense. He smiled, “Wow, Jean and Marco I can see but I'm so pleasantly surprised by Ilya and Maxim. Congratulations!” 

Ilya smiled. It had been his idea that he'd kept sticking in Maxim's mind at night. Maxim was terrified but he'd be just like Armin and Ilya knew it. “We are very happy.” Maxim cut his eyes over, “Nervous.” “Excited.” “Worried.” “We know this will be the best thing ever.” “It could all go horribly wrong.” “And maybe we’ll have even more, who knows?” “I’ll cut your balls off.” Armin bumped into Maxim, “I can’t wait.” Maxim smiled, “Maybe it’ll be better than I think.” Ilya smiled, “It will, Maxi.”

Mike pulled Hanji to him and kissed her, “When are the due dates? We’ll be having to make flight plans if it’s not soon.” Vadimas was very interested in all of this, “Babies?” Armin smiled and explained in flawless Russian that made Maxim smile with pride from all of the tutoring, “My husband and I are expecting our second child on January 9th and Eren and Levi are expecting their second child on the 13th of January. Marco and Jean’s child is due around March 4th and Ilya and Maxim’s child is due on the Ides of March on the 15th.” Vadimas nodded his head, “These wombs are amazing it sounds.” Armin smiled fully, “They are. Look at the amazing things we get.”

Levi and Erwin came inside with Bellamy and his backpack and toys. “Where’s Marco?” Eren said cautiously, “And Jean?” Levi and Erwin came back inside, “They need to learn a lesson.” Mike groaned, “Oh, no.” “Erwin, what did you do?” Erwin kissed Armin’s head, “Don’t worry about it baby. They’re fine.” “Where are they!? Why do we have Bellamy?” Bellamy reached towards Vadimas and he smiled, “Oh, this is a great place full of sweet children.” Vadimas took him and Bellamy felt his coarse beard.

Levi put his hand on Eren’s lower back and pulled him closer, “Eren, don’t ask questions about how Erwin and I do business.”

Armin held his phone up, “YOU PUT THEM ON THE PLANE! I JUST GOT THE INVOICE!” Erwin cringed, “BABY ARE YOU GETTING INVOICES?” “ERWIN I OWN YOUR ASS, YES!” “WHERE ARE THEY GOING!?” Eren was upset and so was Armin. Mike snorted, “Somewhere they’ll be secluded and at their mercy.” Armin looked at him, “Oh God, they’ve done this to you?” “To Hanji and me.” “WHAT IS Y’ALL’S PROBLEM OH MY GOD YOU CAN’T BULLY PEOPLE LIKE THIS!” Armin said turning to Erwin, “Baby, I can do anything.” ************** 

Jean and Marco were on the plane going somewhere with some strange men they didn’t know and they were just trying to make the best of it. “What do you think he’s got planned.” “I don’t know, Jean. I’m scared.” Jean looked around, “I feel like we’re going to have to make hard choices.” “At least they have Bell. Levi and Bell are a good match.” “I wanted to see Hanji and Mike and Mila.” “Ohhhhh damn. Me too.” Marco buried his face into his shoulder and whined, “I wanted to see Mila!”

Jean and Marco sat quietly as they landed. They were ushered into a car and taken someone into the woods. When they were deposited, that’s how they felt, inside they were handed different packages, “Go through them, make a decision, and then you can leave. Till then, we have everything you could need. There is a pool, a spa downstairs, sports facility, art studio, and writing room.” Jean and Marco held the packages blinking. Jean turned to Marco, “Well, why would we leave if we have all that.” Marco nodded, then turned and yelled, “IS THERE FOOD HERE?” “There’s a chef. He’ll make whatever and whenever.” Marco smiled, “Yeah let’s just stay here.” “We can facetime Bellamy for the rest of his life and the other one will fit in with the clan.” “Sounds great.”

They went to kitchen and requested dinner. When they sat down to dinner and opened the packages Jean and Marco were floored, “We should have known.” Marco sighed, “Well, these are really nice options.” “Yeah, but this is the one.” He flopped one down and Marco snorted, “That took no time.” Jean nodded, “But, lets try this place out first before we leave.” Marco laughed, “YES!”

*****************

Levi sat in the living room with Mila and Bellamy, “Where's papa?” Levi put a block on his masterpiece, “Papa and daddy are at the store.” Armin shook his head, “You got cold blood to lie to a child like that.” Erwin came from behind kissing him, “Baby, let's go to bed. I'm sleepy and want to cuddle you now that we're all home. In two days it'll be Levi's birthday and the boy's first Christmas!” Mila looked up, “Chris’mis?” “Christmas AND Leevee’s birthday.” Mila smiled, her face in awe, “Leevee birt’day!” Levi opened his arms, “Come here, sweetness.” She ran over and hugged him around the neck, “My sweetness, oh how good it is to have you here in my arms.”

Armin yawned, “I guess I am tired.” He looked for Zev and found him asleep in Mike’s arms, “Aww little man has to go?” Armin nodded, “Yeah. Hey, Erwin? Where is Zad?” Erwin looked around and shrugged, “You know him. He's off doing something.” “Does he date?” Erwin frowned, “God, I hope not. I don't want a sibling.” “Selfish.” “Yep. I have a wife and son. I'm good.” “Did you just call me a wife?” Erwin smirked, “Yeah.” “You mistreat me!” “How!?” “You're absolutely wicked to me!” “That is slander!” “You try to murder me!” “Defamation of character!” “This is why Eren is the only one for me!” “Betrayer!” 

Armin smiled at Erwin and then ran up to him to hug him, “I wub yew!” Erwin huffed, “Well, I've never heard of treating someone you love like that. Come on, you viper. Bedtime!” Mike smiled, “Normally Mila would be down but well, her boyfriend and the love of her life are both with her.” They all looked to Levi who sat in front of the TV on the other side of the living room space with Mila in his lap and Bellamy at his side watching a Disney movie. Nikko was with Hanji who was talking with Vadimas and Maxim. Ilya kept his distance still ashamed but Hanji eventually got him and brought him over to engage with Vadimas. Eren was tired, too, “I'm going to bed, too, I think.” Levi heard him and patted Mila, “Milaka, my sweetness, it's time for me to go to sleep. Bellamy needs sleep, too.” “No!” She was so upset, “You go!?” “No, no, no, you will go to your room right beside me, remember? Bellamy, too.” “Right beside you?” “Yes.” “And momma an’ daddy?” “They’ll have their own room down from yours.” She gave him the best pout and frown and Mike laughed, “She and Hanji can give some looks, let me tell you. Got it from her momma for sure.” 

When they all settled in and Levi had the monitor on for Bellamy, Mila, and Nikko was in their room he felt at peace. All of his family were there and safe. Except for Zad. He was always not following the others in their routine. Eren was with him, however. Sweet, smart, hard headed Eren. Levi watched him get ready for sleep, “Nikko sleeps through the night so well. He plays in his crib when he wakes up. Not one peep. It's so nice. We're so lucky. I hope the other is similar in that way. Haha.” Levi smiled, “How selfish we are.” “Truly.”

***********

Jean and Marco returned on Christmas eve and Bellamy was beyond excited. “Papa! Daddy!” He ran to Jean whose arms were wide open, “Bellamy, little buddy, I missed you.” “Why is papa always first?” Marco said somewhat hurt. He took Bellamy while Jean removed his scarf, “Daddy, papa gets sad.” “Sad?” “Yes.” “When?” “He is not said first. I love you.” Marco was very satisfied by that, “Oh, okay. I understand. Bell, that's very nice of you. Papa is sensitive.” “Sensativ?” “Yes. Sen-si-tive.” “Sinsativ.” “We'll work on it.”

They walked into dinner being cooked, their parents were holding Nikko and Zev while Mila clutched Levi's leg and held on while he walked around with her. Her giggles we so sweet and happy. They saw Maxim and Ilya wrapped in covers exchanging short kisses and whispers. David and Mikasa were doting on Keita and making faces at Keita from over the back of the couch was Eren and Armin who were wearing adult size animal themed onesizes. “A unicorn is not an animal because it’s not real, baby.” Erwin teased him and Armin pouted, “A mythical creature is an animal, Erwin. Shut up.” Erwin was a Lion and Nikko was dressed to match. Marco noticed that Zev was appropriately a little wolf and he kind of had a fangirl moment over his beautiful eyes and chubby cheeks.

“Daddy, I have somet’in’ for yoo.” Marco smiled, ‘What?” “Tree. We go tree.” Bellamy was getting a little tired and MArco thought he must not have had a nap. He walked over slowly to the tree, “Oh, is it a gift?” “And for papa.” Bellamy was nodding his head when Gio came over to kiss his son, “Wonderful day. Tomorrow will be just as wonderful with Levi. We’re all opening gifts tonight. Tomorrow is a birthday party.” Marco thought about how Levi must not really know that or he’d be sulking.

*****

Presents were opened, there was dancing, laughter, and then dinner, “Tomorrow we celebrate Levi!” Levi frowned, “No.” He was wiping Mila’s hands off and Hanji was carding her fingers through Mike’s hair lovingly when she smiled, “I think that's perfect.” “Shut up shitty glasses.” “Leevee! Dat’s ugly!” Levi looked down at her and then back to Hanji. He continued in Lithuanian, “Looks like English is no longer safe but here I can speak with you how I please, shitty glasses” “I hear you.” Mila looked him in the eye, “Dat’s _mean_!” “I speak Lithuanian with her. French isn't her only additional language.” “Mila,” Erwin smiled, “that's how uncle Levi speaks. He just needs to learn some manners, right?” Mila blinked, “Learn mannahs Leevee.” Erwin gave him a shit eating smile, “Yes,” Levi said slowly, “I will try.” He gave a pointed glance around the table, “For you, my sweetness.” 

*********

Levi was walking down the hall to Erwin’s room when he was coming back from the wombs. Erwin was going to walk by him when Levi pushed him against the wall, mumbling playfully, “Where you goin’?” He looked up at Erwin through his eyelashes and Erwin smiled so wide he started to blush thinking about what he looked like, “I'm goin’ to my room.” He said the word softly, bashful like. Levi smiled a little smugly, “You tryin’ to ignore me?” “Maybe?” “Maybe? With a question mark? You're a mess. You must have really missed me.” Erwin smirked, nodding, “Mhm, I think you missed me.” Levi cocked his head to the side, pressed his tongue on the inside of his check, “Maybe.” He said the word in a husky breath and pushed off of Erwin. Erwin stepped to the side, “I'm heading to bed now. Sweet dreams and happy birthday.” Erwin’s blinding smile made his knees suddenly weak. He watched him go to his room and quietly close the door. 

**********

Armin was in bed with his arms protectively places around Zev’s co-sleeper. He was lightly dozing when Erwin crawled in behind him and whispered, “Wanna have sex.” Armin made a little snort and groaned a little, “I was ready for sweepies like you said!” He said petulant and adorable. Erwin kissed his shoulder moving down to the back of his neck, “That's fine. Some other time.” 

Armin scrunched his nose, “Move Zev to the crib.” Erwin smiled, satisfied his bet paid off, “But nothin’ crazy.” Erwin made a surprised face, “Ooooh look who's the one putting rules on sex!” Armin smiled softly, “Fuck me nicies.” Zev was asleep and he looked so sweet and peaceful as Erwin held him and admired him, “Goodnight my little wolf.”

Armin rolled in the covers, “Baby, I can't make love to you if you're in a cocoon!” Armin snorted, “This is foreplay. Unwrap your prize.” Erwin moved into the bed bringing him close and softly petting his hair as he kissed him tenderly, “I love you.” Armin kissed him back, “I love you.”

**********

Eren moved towards Levi in the bathroom, “You better be ready for Christmas Birthday sex.” Levi smirked, “What's that? I can't hear you.” He turned the blow dryer on. He didn’t like to sleep in winter with wet hair, not with Zev now always susceptible to colds. Eren frowned, “I'm trying to be sexy!” Levi ignored him until he huffed and went away. Levi really just hated his birthday and would have rather spent the day focusing on the kids. He brushed his hair, sighed, looked at his body in the mirror and then entered the bedroom.

Eren sat in the middle of the bed, panties on, and a smile on his face, “Come here, birthday boy.” “Are those red panties?” “They are. They have boys on them and I have stockings on.” “Silk stockings?” “Yep.” “Shit.” “I know.” “Are you?” “I have a plug in.” “Shit.” “Yep. Black with a black diamond.” “No.” “Yep. I’ve got a jewel toned ass, Levi.” “Fuck.” “Do you want sexy classy sex or dirty filthy sex?” “Can I have both?” “Oh yeah, you can have both.” Levi looked around, “Nikko?” “In his crib, Neshama. Mila’s asleep in it, too.”

Levi crawled on the bed and moved towards him slowly. Eren wrapped his arms around his neck and let himself be pushed on the bed. Levi’s fingers pulled at the garter straps. He moved down, buried his face in his crotch, breathing on Eren’s sex and nuzzled his face against his hardening member. He moaned softly, “Fuck, Eren, you smell so damn good.” Eren chuckled, “I want to smell like you when you’re finished.” “Fuck, let me taste you.” Eren and Levi celebrated his birthday around the room with a break to feed Nikko and kiss Mila’s head before they settled in and cuddled for the rest of the night.

*******************

“Levi?” “Yes, Bellamy?” “How...owld are yoo?” “How old do you think I am?” “Nine.” “Nine? How old are you?” “T’wee.” “Three. How old is Mila?” “T’wee.” “How old is Eren?” “Sewen.” “And your daddy and papa?” “Sewen.” “How old is Armin?” “Five.” “Five! Wow, not seven?” “No, five.” “And Mikasa?” “Four.” “I guess that makes sense. She’s very pretty.” “Weally, pwetty.” “And David?” “Ten.” “Ten! Ha, well, he’s an old soul. What about Erwin?” “Twelve.” Levi nearly burst into laughter, his eyes watered, “And I’m how old?” “Nine.” “Yep, well, this all sounds legit. I’m actually much younger than Erwin. I’m at least 7 and a half.” Bellamy smiled and walked around the coffee table to hug Levi, “I love you. Happy Birt’day.” “Thanks, Bell.” Levi hugged him back and looked around at his family who were arranging gifts, setting up for lunch, and laughing and singing all their cares away. Levi was very happy that today he was turning nine years old.

*******************

Armin stood in the doorway, “Oh….Ohhh noooooo.” The house had flooded at Erwin’s father’s home. He found the problem upstairs in one of the older room that they didn’t use. He called a crew and hoped that there wasn’t any damage. When he was cleaning up it seemed he’d caught it just in time. He removed furniture to protect it and then opened the door for the crew. “It’s upstairs, second floor, fourth room on the right.” They nodded smiled, “You got a nice house.” Armin smiled politely, “Thank you. It’s my husband’s late father’s. It’s really sentimental to us.

They disappeared and Armin got what he came for putting it in the car. He sat on the couch reading when they men appeared again, “Okay, we’ve fixed it. You must have caught that right when it happened. But, there was a surprise.” He handed him a metal lock box, “It might be a time capsule but it’s huge so I think it’s something with documents. Maybe deeds. The drywall was cut away and you could peel the wallpaper back and find it. The leak happened in the right spot or we’d have never found it.” Armin took the box, “How much?” “Not as bad as it could be.” He looked at his team and Armin got out his checkbook prepared to bleed money.

****

He stared at the box, “I want to open you.” He sighed, “I shouldn’t…” He thought about it longer and looked at the combination lock, “What would you be?” He tried a few and then one of them unlocked it and it was his first clue, “This is going to be mad intense. I should just stop.” He tapped his nails on the counter, “I can’t stop. Damn it. This is going to be bad.” He popped the metal lid and found papers, piles of papers, “Letters?” Some were addressed, some were just drafts, but the ones that were sealed were the most interesting. Armin took a deep breath and opened one, only one.

_I cannot express to you enough, my dear, the necessity of this. You must put faith in it. You must trust. If you believe this to be the life where anything is possible then bring him into the world with love in your heart and hope in your mind. Realism is to cruel for this, realism is the little death we experience every day. He’ll be strong enough, Kuschel. Trust that he’ll be stronger than us._

Armin opened one more and promised it would be the last.

_Sometimes I think gindele will surely be born with wild hair and a flaming sense of mischief. He kicks when I listen to speeches about the state of the world. I think he’ll be a great man. I know he’ll be a great man, it’s predestined. But, I want to know him as a little child, as a little person. I think he’ll like sunshine, strawberries, and mozart. He moves when I listen to Tchaikovsky. Perhaps, he’ll love someone who finds Russian music more tolerable than I. I would prefer he move to mozart but gindele has his own mind._

_Alas, I’ve wrote so much but said so little._

_I miss you. That’s why I’m writing. I miss you terribly and it makes me feel conflicted. I wish I was still fetching my own water and eating charred squirrel like a savage. I must have lost my mind. אני אוהבת אותך_

Armin closed the box and went home. They were only a few days away from the birth of their children. He had been working extra so he could take off. Ereb was doing the same. Levi was talking legality with Erwin about their “motherless” family. Hanji had been going to the hospital with him. She was spending a lot of time with Levi and Vadimas was learning English everyday with Levi. Mike and Erwin were inseparable and Mila, Bellamy, Zev, and Nikko were loved on and smothered while Jean and Marco wrote and painted and Maxim and Ilya helped at the shop and kissed sweetly talking about their future child. Zadkiel had been asked to be in their child's life. He'd actually been touched and got uncharacteristically emotional. Hannes was still his best friend and Eren and Levi went with him every Wednesday still to see him. 

Armin had grown to care for Zadkiel. Maybe that was his curse. He made people care about him that should really rather not. He pulled up to the house, saw his car, and sighed. He got out and went to find him in his room. He was reading, he lowered the book, “Cut my hair, bubbeleh.” “Um, no, Eren does hair.” “Bubbeleh don't be so bratty and just do it.”

Armin sighed and decided what the hell. He cut his hair slowly, carefully, and Zad read and picked at him over and over. Finally, Armin was finished and knew he needed to give him the box. He stepped back, slightly crying, “What's wrong with you, bubbeleh? My locks make you cry?” He handed him the large metal box, “I read two, the one on top, to see what was going on but no more. I promise. On Zev, I promise I read no more and I think that these are mostly for you so please, read them first and then let Levi see the ones that pertain to him or us. If you can. I won't tell Erwin yet. Just take time, take care, of yourself.”

Zad took the boy and opened the metal lock looking inside. He knew her writing immediately, “Armin, I…” Armin was gone, door silently shutting behind him. Zad lifted the papers with shaking hands and heard the tap tap tap sound of his tears on parchment. 

_”I'm in love with a dying man.”_

Zadkiel felt like he was going to throw up.

***************

Armin started cleaning his bedroom, he mopped, he did laundry, he dusted and shined. He went into Erwin’s office and tidied it up with love, leaving sweet notes around the room. He missed Zev and went to find him leaving the rooms smelling fresh and neat.

Once he had Zev he felt complete, “Can you keep a secret?” He bounced Zev as he walked around, “You’re my favorite.” He giggled and Zev smiled, reaching up to touch Armin’s face, ‘You’re such a big boy. You’re such a good boy.” He kissed his cheeks and laughed as Zev laughed. Zev had a personality that made Armin sigh for the trouble he was going to wreak when he was older. He loved to laugh, loved to get into things, and he was a ham. He hammed it up no matter what. Erwin really rubbed off on him. “I can’t wait for your baby brother or sister to get here but I’m nervous because what if I’m not good at being their vati? What if you don’t like them?” Zev was blowing bubbles, “Okay, I know you’ll like them. You like everyone.”

Amin sat down in the floor of his bedroom and put Zev down to play with his toys. Zev couldn’t really see them that well so Armin somtimes had to put on in his way as he crawled. It made him want to weep. “I gotta do something about your eyes, little wolf. We gotta get you better.” He played cartoons and sat back as his son moved around him, played happily, smiled, and laughed. It was moments like this that he was glad he’d made the deal he did. He loved Zev so completely there were no words to describe it. This was also painful for him because how had his parents not loved him?

Now that he knew the love of a child, how could anyone not love them?

He heard the door open and it was Zadkiel, “Why would you bring me these things?” Armin felt nervous, “Should I have not?” It was whisper and Zad wiped his eyes, “No. It’s fine. I’m just….you can read them.” Armin’s mouth was dry, “I don’t know if I should.” “Do you know why I like you?” “Do you even like me?” “Of course, but it’s hard. Erwin has basically married his mother.” “Oh...I don’t know if I want to be like Marilyn, to be honest.” he said his words carefully and slowly, “I think she wasn’t very happy.” Zadkiel looked at him and then nodded, “Apparently, she wasnt.” He had the letter in his hand, “This isn’t all of them, just the ones that were sealed to me.” 

“How did you get in the box, Armin?” Armin watched as he sat down next to him while Zev crawled over to him to pull on his leg. Zev loved his Dedka, “You’re birthday was the code. I knew the box was going to be for you.”

Zadkiel pinched and made noises playfully for Zev who smiled and moved with determination up his leg, “You and her, you got dealt bad cards.” “In what way?” “You’re a very reserved, polite, anxious little book worm but because you had to take charge you were forced to become emboldened, cunning, and a little bit of an asshole. You and Marilyn have knowledge of the unknown. Somehow, you get hunches and know where people are on the board. You lead us in the ways we need to go with a heavy or soft hand. I’m sorry for you both. I am. Apparently, Levi’s mother was one of Marilyn’s best friends and most beloved people. I never knew.”

Armin opened one of the letter.

*

_He isn’t the same, Zad. He isn’t himself. I fear I’ve been trapped by a man with an entirely different personality than I could have ever imagined. He’s sick, mentally ill. He took me to the woods the other day where we were stranded and he started talking all sorts of things, madness. He frightened me so, tried to hit me. I screamed, pleaded about the baby. Only then did he let the stone fall from his hand._

*

_Zad, your brother has been gone now ten days and I haven’t a clue where he is. If only you were here, I keep thinking that, if only you were here, things would be better. I think he’s with them in Tennessee. I think he’s with Uri and Adam. I cannot fathom the level of desperation he must have felt to go to them. Abulafia comes to work, comes to the house, he hasn’t the faintest idea where he is either. That man if your brother’s shadow. I fear he might be dead._

*

_I write you letters that I will never give you because if I didn’t have someone to write to i’d go mad. Our situation is so fragile. If they find out that you are the king, there will be blood. They treat me like a saint, call me the virgin mother. I asked Gabe the other night. He said that they know he’s sterile. They think this is magic. I will never understand the peasantry._

*

_Come here and hold me, please._

*

_Gabriel Smith is dead. This man I live with is not the man I married, the man I loved, the man I want to raise a child with. I feel desperate. Why can’t I make him see that they are driving his insanity!? He is so focused on gindele and what he can be and could be. I think he believe Abulafia, that Erwin is a messiah. He used the word, MESSIAH! Can you believe it?! Kuschel and I are at odd. I want things to of course line up in our favor and not hers but she’s determined now more than ever to set her future son right. I hope gindele and he work it out. But, I know that the key to achieving success is the perfect deviation of the routine. I’m trying to help deviate but Gabriel is becoming harder and harder to control. I love him...I loved him. I wish you were here with me._

*

_More visions came to me last night. I’ve written letters for Grisha Jaeger when it’s time. Gabriel drinks in his office and talks about Palestine. I don’t think he understands that there never was a Palestine. Abulafia believes in half truths and whole lies. He peddles them and I want nothing to do with it anymore. Gindele doesn’t move much when he’s around but when I think about you…..he must already know. The blood speaks and washes away all of our supposed sins. It was no sin what I did with you. I wish you were here. I wish I was there. He’s coming…_

*

_A some point I think I realized I was in love with you but here we are, too old, too far apart, and I haven’t any time left._

*

_I’m going to die and it just isn’t fair. I want to see gindele grow up to meet a boy with fair hair and blue eyes. I want to see you hold gindele and know and feel what I know you will know and feel. Maybe we can leave with him and raise him away from this. Kuschel could come meet us We’ve never tried that before. Maybe we could just go away and pretend nothing ever happened that did._

*

_I love you, Zadkiel. I am so sorry._

*

_He now locks me in the house and gindele is getting so big I am afraid he will come and no one will be here to help me._

*

_Sometimes I look at the photos of the baby shower and admire that fiery hair of yours and how krass you can be. I mourn my situation and you know I hate feeling sorry for myself. I hope you come after I die. Maybe you can help Gabriel be better. Maybe you’ll just take gindele and raise him away from them. I think that would be best. I think he should be with his father and not this stranger Gabe has become._

*

_I am hopelessly in love with you. I am so selfish._

*

_I love you. I will not leave this place without you. I will never cross over until you can come with me. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you…_

*

_я люблю тебя (I love you)_

*

_The answer to the question is yes._

******************

Armin had more to read but he was crying and he pushed them to the side while Zev played against his Dedka’s chest and the TV played in the background, “I’m sorry, Zadkiel.” It was heavy and time stood still.


	152. Births

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry if this is sloppy but I don't know when I can post again this week because it's so busy. I also think you'll all get that it takes place further and further into the future. We're getting ready for some other stuff in the plot. 
> 
> If y'all hate it: I beg your forgiveness.

Armin was bouncing while Erwin held him in his lap, “Almost time.” Levi finished his coffee, “Yep.” Eren was in the floor, “I wonder what it would feel like to be a balloon.” Commander was on his stomach cleaning himself and Erwin and Armin were just in shock, “What?” Levi groaned, “He’s being weird, don’t entertain it.” “But, if I was a red balloon…” “You need to get a popsicle and cool off, brat.” Eren pouted and turned his head, “Go poop old man!” Levi stared, “I’m going to beat your ass.” “Do it!” Eren was bold, “I’ll fucking love it! Won’t teach me a damn thing!” Levi moved suddenly out of the chair and Eren yelped, “‘S what I thought! Little brat! What’s good!?” 

Erwin snickered, “Nicky and Miley are over, have been, like for a decade. What are you even doing? Are you not reading and watching the things I send you?” Levi scoffed, “No.” He mumbled, “Don’t tell me what the fuck to do.” “Oh, that’s smart. Turn down knowledge. Damn.” Armin stood up and then laid in the floor with Eren, “I want my new baby!” Eren snorted, “Like getting a new model.” “But really, I want it.” 

Erwin sighed, “Names...we still have no names.” “Gotta have meaning.” “Roxanne?” “NO! SHE WILL NOT PUT RED LIGHTS ON!” Erwin looked at him and shrugged, “Babs?” “Erwin,” Armin deadpanned, “I think you want me to kill you.” Hanji appeared with a still sleepy but waking up Mila, “I'm taking little puddin’ pop downstairs to her daddy and then it'll be time.” Armin held onto Eren and yelled, “Ahhhhhhh another baby!” Eren wiggled, “Another baby!”

Levi moved to stand and then walked over to Erwin and kissed him, “Another baby.” Erwin was touched, “Yeah. Another one.”

********

Hanji said if his birth was anything to indicate, he'd be a laid back kind of person. Armin and Erwin held their new son and admired his features. When Mike came to show Mila he laughed, “Little Erwin is finally here!” Armin scrutinized his feature, “His nose is just a little bit different. But yeah, this one definitely takes after you.” Erwin kissed his son, “Names, baby. We need a name.” “Here me out…..I was reading the other day and I think he fits one I came across a lot.” “Oh?” “Yeah, Levi might think it's bad so he gets veto.” “Baby! Why can he veto!?” “He's not overly emotional like we are!” “Ok….meanie.”

Levi and Eren waited and then Armin smiled, “Yonatan but we'll call him Yoni for short.” Levi smiled, “I like Yoni a lot. A good name for sure.” “But now for a middle.” Erwin rested his head on Armin's shoulder, “Leo.” “Why Leo, daddy?” “Leo Tolstoy. Also, lion. I like these animal names we have going.” Armin kissed him, “I love you, Erwin. And I love little Yoni.”

***********

Where the Smiths were always controlled and calm the Ackermanns were not so much, “LEVI WE DON'T HAVE NEWBORN DIAPERS!” “Yes, brat, we do! Look in the file for NB D. Then go to where it says they are stored. Don't keep freaking out!” “WHAT IF I DON'T FIND THEM” “Have you forgotten where stores are or their purpose, perhaps?!” “ARMIN IS SO MUCH NICER!” “ARMIN IS A PUFF BALL, SUCK IT UP!” Armin came into the room, “Levi!” “Sorry, mami but you're weak.” Armin pushed him and Levi stared, “Dont bring none, won't be none mami.” A few tense seconds passed and then Armin had Levi on the floor pinning him, “I'll show you puff ball!” They wrestled around till Erwin appeared, “It's time!” He looked at them on the floor, “Take your clothes off at least.” Armin hit his pant’s leg, “Cawwy me?” “Sure. But we need to feed Yoni and Zev soon.” “Okays.”

Levi and Eren stood outside of the room and took a deep breath, “Another baby.” Eren said smiling. Levi nodded, “Yep, another one.”

********  
Levi was sobbing, “He looks, oh god, he looks just like….oh god.” He kissed his new son all over, “I could eat him up. Now I understand what Eren was talking about with Nikko. Oh God, you are the mirror image of your Baba.” Armin was crying too, “I cannot wait to spoil the fuck out of a tiny Eren.” Erwin was feeding Yoni while Armin held Zev and rocked him to sleep. Erwin was crying but pretending he wasn't. “Name?” Levi looked up, “Ezra Dror.”  
********

Bellamy was between his parents resting against his daddy's chest as they exchange kisses, “Today is the day you get a little brother or sister.” They'd been busy picking materials for their new house that Levi and Erwin were building out back. They'd share the pool with them and it was all going to be very compound living. They didn't mind. They were getting a fly ass house for sure. Delaine walked up and smiled, “I'm so excited. I can wait to have 6 babies to spoil.” Gio chuckled, “Then 7, you know?” “7 is a dream for an old woman like me.” “You’re ageless and perfect.” “Oh hush.” She kissed him and they all waited for Hanji and Levi to bring them their child.

****

The door opened and Marco was balling, “Babe, the door opened but there’s nothing there.” “BUT SOON THERE WILL BE!” Levi came out, “Vitals are stable now, he was breech and we had to turn him. That was...interesting. He’s being cleaned up right now.” Marco and Jean nearly faltered. Jean’s voice was shaky, “H-h-he?! IT’S A BOY!” Levi smiled softly, “It’s a boy. You have another son.” “Levi?” Bellamy held his hands out, “Hold me?” Levi snorted, “Okay. Don’t you want to see your brother?” “I want you hold me.” “Well, someone’s not impressed.” They all laughed and Levi took Bellamy while Hanji cleaned the baby and Delaine and Gio popped a champagne bottle.

****

Jean was mystified by him. He would stare and stare at his little face, all swaddled in yellow and cream, He heard them say he looked just like him but there, among his cheeks and nose, were those freckles he loved. They were stunning, dazzling, like stars. He opened his eyes and they were hazel like his but there was more brown in them like Marco. His hair was dirty blonde, a distinct tint of red to it. Marco sat down against him with his coffee, “Please, let me tell you what Bellamy wants to name him.” “What?” Jean smiled brightly, anxiously excited for what was to come, “Quixote.” 

Jean snorted, “Oh you have no one to blame but you!” Marco laughed, “I guess he’s really into the Don and his adventures.” Jean kissed Marco a few times, “I love you, babe.” ‘I love you.” Marco took his son and held him, “But now I get it. Naming is hard.” Jean pulled out a piece of paper, “We have a list you know.” “OHHHHHHH SNAP! WE DO! HA! We’re so much better than those Ackermann Smiths!” Jean was smug, “Oh yeah, way better.” He went down the list, “I think you’re really in love with these Italian names.” Marco shrugged and turned his face, trying to act nonchalant, “I mean...they're just names.” 

Jean sputtered and made all sorts of noises, “Don’t even play like that. We have to use the Italian ones or you'll never be happy.” The baby sneezed and they both thought they were having heart attacks, “WHY DID MY HEART HURT?!” “I DUNNO JEAN IT WAS TRAGIC!” “OH MY GOD ARMIN THIS IS WHAT ARMIN FEELS BUT WORSE BECAUSE ZEV IS ALWAYS SICK!” “JEAN NO WHAT IF OUR BABY GETS SICK?” “DON’T PUT THAT OUT THERE IN THE UNIVERSE!” “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Erwin appeared, “I hope all is going well, but,” his happy smile dissapeared and then was replaced but an intimidating devilish commander, “we have four small children trying to sleep after eating and if you keep yelling I’ll make you run till you both sweat blood.”

They both shut up and Erwin waited, “Yes, sir.” He leaned back, smile returning, “Okay, happy naming.”

They both sighed a breath of releif when the door closed.

**********

Delaine and Gio were coloring with Bellamy and cooking. Mikasa and David had come over with Keita and were feeding him and preparing for him to take a nap. David appeared and offered to help, “No, no, no! Young man, you are a God but I doubt you can make french delicacies.” David raised an eyebrow and took her dough kneading it, “I think that’s a challenge, Ms. Kirschstein. I accept it.” She took a step back, “Well,” she fanned herself, “my vapors.” Gio rolled his eyes, “I must always be competing with these two brothers. I know not what I did to deserve this.” “Well, Levi and David are pretty much gods. But, you, you’re my italian paradise and outlaw.” “Thank you, my love.” 

Mikasa appeared and Delaine saw how David looked at her. She started to think about it. Mikasa smiled and waved at him. She was grabbing a blanket for Keita from her bag and then she left. Delaine hit Gio, “I know what’s going on here.” David looked over slowly, “What?” “Mikasa is pregnant.” David stopped kneading the dough, “Barely. We’re not saying anything.” Gio smiled but understood, “How far?” “Not far at all. I cannot stress that enough. We only know because of a blood test she had to take.” Delaine raised her eyebrow, “Wow, well, I’ll drop it.” David finished and started rolling it out, “I’ll be sure to tell once we’re sure.” He gave her a charming smile and Gio groaned, “These brothers and their smiles. Panty dropper smiles.”

Jean and Marco appeared, “Okay, we have a name.” David looked at the little bundle, “Please hold him up so I can see.” They did and his face brightened, “The freckles. He’s gorgeous.” Delaine and Gio were in love, so in love. “What’s the name?” Gio said suddenly breaking them out of their trance, “Cesare Quixote Kirschstein-Bodt.” David laughed, “What a mouthful.” They all laughed and then he added what everyone was thinking. “It’s perfect.” ******* 

Armin opened the door and Maxim was laying on Ilya’s bare chest, eyes open, hands counting beads. Ilya had his mouth open, drool coming out and he looked fine, “Max? It’s time. The little alarm went off and Hanji said the levels are right.” Maxim carefully disentangled himself from Ilya. He pulled on his boxers and a shirt. Armin thought he’d wake Ilya but instead he came to the door, “Who else is up?” “Just me and Levi. Erwin has Yoni and Zev in bed and Eren have Nikko and Ezra in his. Jean and Marco are at their parents house with both boys. Hanji was at the hospital and Mike and Mila are asleep. It’s only 4 am.” Maxim looked around, “Let’s get coffee.”

***

Maxim held his cup between his hands, “I’m nervous.” Armin nodded. He’d gone to get Yoni who was fussy and Erwin stayed with Zev. He fed him and now he was watching his beautiful blue eyed blond headed boy drift back away, “What if they are sick?” “I don’t think that will be the case. Levi has monitored it and Hanji did a check the other day.” “What if I am not….personable?” “You mean,” Armin squinted, “not fatherly?” “No, more than that. What if I am not...emotionally connected enough? I am afraid...that I will never be able to really love. Ilya has known me so long, knew me when i could, you know? I love you but...even I now must confess I do not love you enough.”

Armin was surprised, “What do you mean?” “I try,” Maxim looked very sad, “not to love you because I don’t want to hurt.” Armin nodded, “If I go away?” Maxim looked up, voice soft like a whisper of air that flows by the ear, “Yes, if you go away.” Armin put the bottle down, “I decided to love you even though you might go away.” Armin shrugged, “I know you’ll do the same with your child. Because, when it comes to children, these pieces of us, we can’t help but do that.”

Maxim wiped his eyes, “I hope you are right.” They both heard Ilya’s clunky footsteps, “Maxi? What is happening?” Maxim looked at a wild haired Ilya who wiped the sleep from his eyes, “Armin? Yoni, he is good, da?” Armin smiled, “He was fussy because he needed foodies.” Ilya smiled, “Handsome growing boys do. Just like right now, I need food.” “We’re having a baby in four hours.” “WE’RE HAVING OUR BABY!” “Yes, so eat up idiot. Today is the last day it’s just us two.” Ilya walked up to Maxim and took his head in his hands, “I love you, Maxim.” He kissed him and Maxim kissed him back, “Idiot, I love you, too.”

Zadkiel appeared. He’d been very off since the letters. He walked over to Armin and started to pick at his hair, “It’s getting long. What do you think you are, a gogo dancer?” “I do. I’m going to wear nothing but latext dresses and white boots with chunky heels.” Zadkiel looked at Yoni, “Wow, look at him. It’s like seeing Erwin all over again.” Armin looked up at him and asked hesitantly, “You wanna hold him?” Zad smiled, “I do. Someone needs to get him away from his whore gogo dancing vati.” He handed a tiny Yoni over and watched as he went about his morning making breakfast, “I’ll make for everyone. Another baby.” Everyone smiled, “Another baby.”

*************

Maxim and Ilya both held their son together. Zadkiel appeared, “Wow, what a pretty thing he is.” Maxim kissed him and then Ilya, “He’s precious.” Zad sat down, “Name?” Maxim turned to him as Levi came inside of the room, “Alexi Leah.” Levi thought it was appropriate. Alexi’s one blue and one brown eye were open for just a second. “I think she’d be honored.”

*************

**A few months later…**

Armin waited and waited for news while Erwin drank coffee and ate emodium. “Erwin,” Armin said after his second passing, “if you keep eating those pills you’ll be in a very bad situation.” Erwin stopped, “What?” Armin turned around in the waiting room chair, “You know, when people drink coffee they have to you know…” “What?” “Shit.” “Oh,” Erwin smiled, “you sound like Levi.” “Well, you’ll be whinning when you can’t shit in a few hours and have coffee sludge backed up.” “Baby, you keep it real with me.” “Always.”

Today Zev was having surgery on his eyes and they were nervous wrecks. Maxim came inside with his scarf over his mouth. He was there to check on Armin mostly, “Armin?” Armin shook his head, “Nothing yet.” “I came to sit. I came to pray.” Erwin smiled, “Thank you.” Maxim sat down and took Armin’s hand, “You can come to the church with me.” “Well, I’ll go anywhere if it helps Zev.” Maxim looked sad, “I am sorry.” “Don’t be. It is what it is.” “He is special.” “Maybe.” Armin said quietly. Then he looked in his lap, “I think so. But, he’s my son.”

***

The results were bad. The surgery only prolonged the state of his eyes currently. He’d not be operable until he was five if he didn’t go completely blind by then. If he went blind then that was it. There was nothing to be done about it all. Armin and Erwin sat pale faced in the chairs. They didn’t speak. 

Armin watched as Erwin picked their sleeping son up from the nurse and held him to his chest. Only just one and already he’d had an intensive surgery and been hospitalized countless times. Armin was upset, Armin was…. _ **frustrated.**_

Erwin put him the car and then opened Armin's door. They drove home in silence.

*

When they got into their room they laid Zev in his co-sleeper. Armin checked his phone. Eren and Levi had Yoni at Mikasa and David’s. Jean and Marco were working in their offices while Delaine and Gio watched Bellamy and Cesare. Zadkiel entered, “How did it go?” Armin and Erwin stopped moving. There was a sound like choking and it startled Armin. Then he realzied he made it. Erwin had tears streaming down his face, “Leave, please.” Zadkiel was torn but he closed the door. Armin covered his face with his hands and Eriwn let loose a broken sob.

They curled up around their son in their bed, crying.

Where was God?

**********

Mikasa and David were at the hospital and the nurses walked around them in love with the beautiful couple. David held her hand and Mikasa smiled, “I love you. But, you’ve got to start putting lotion on your hands.” David chuckled, “These are hands that have worked hard. These are a simple man’s hands.” “Simple? I’d not say that.” David looked at her. Her long black hair was silky and heavy as it laid down her shoulder and back. He leaned forward and kissed her. “Keita is probably going to have hands like mine.” 

Mikasa snorted slightly and looked to the side rolling her eyes, “I want him to stay at home forever, not go live on the kibbutz.” Mikasa shifted uncomfortably but then relaxed, “Is it better with drugs?” Mikasa laughed shortly, “David, even you’re better on drugs.” His eyes were playfully lit, “Oh?” “Yeah, you’re almost charming.” “I thought I was always charming?!” “Only in the beginning before I learned about your peculiarities.” “I may not arrange my clothes by color,” “Noooo, just your fancy socks.” “They are fancy.” “You wear Armani clothes!” “But my socks are important, Miki. They go on my feet. A man’s feet are,” “I know, I know, what he stands on to lift the world…. That’s so stupid.” “I love you.” “I love you, too.”

Eren pulled the curtain back with Levi in scrubs from a surgery that morning. Eren’s face was his usual crazy excited, “ANOTHER BABY!” Mikasa smiled, “Another baby.”

*

Levi was crying from happiness and, “Are you jealous?” Eren said suddenly, “I am. This is not fair.” “I know. She’s so perfect.” Armin leaned over, “G O R G E O U S!” Erwin touched her cupid's bow, “I need to find her an agent for modeling. I need to be that agent.” Mikasa kissed David and received her push present, “Keita?” Jean was holding Keita while Marco carried Cesare on his chest and Bellamy stood beside him, “Meet your baby sister, Hannahlore Ofra Lavie.”

**************

Armin looked at Levi as he put on a clean shirt, “Is it true?” Levi paused and turned around, “That?” “That Rabbi Berkovitch and others are coming together for a day school?” “Yes.” “Where is God, Levi?” Levi paused, “Why?” “Because I want to know...where he is. Where is God?” Levi got very strange and then he spoke, “Where he is to me is not where he will be to you.” Armin looked disappointed and Levi struggled for the words.

Levi pulled at Armin’s hand, “Come to shul with me.”

And he did.

And then they all did.

But he was still searching for God.

*************

Armin and Erwin were soaking wet, “Well, at least we get a baby today.” Armin turned to Erwin, “After that stunt you pulled in the car, I’d be quiet.” Erwin had swerved, blown a tire, lost his phone, no wallet, and they’d walked back to the house. It was like the milkshake ghetto diaper all over again. Levi appeared with a baby in his hands, “Well, it’s another boy.” Armin smiled and stood up, “Is he okay?” Erwin moved forward, “WOW! LOOK AT THAT HAIR!” Erwin took him and Armin sighed, “He looks like,” “Me!” Zadkiel was smitten and smug, “Oh, you’ll have to see me even after I die, Armin.”

Armin rolled his eyes, “Shut up.” He took his third son and smiled, “Say hello to Tuvia konrad Smith.” Levi snorted, “Oh god, Konrad?” Armin nodded, “With a K.” Erwin smiled, “After Konrad Adenauer.” “And,” Armin smiled, “After Tuvia who was a partisan.” Zadkiel took him after them, “Your dedka loves you, little fire.”

************

Marco and Jean were a little annoyed. They’d been in the middle of sex when Hanji burst in, embarrassing them, and told them their child was nearly crowning. They had absolutely no notice and now they were sweaty and everyone was making fun of them. Hanji burst out with a baby in her hands, “ANOTHER GIRL!” There was a round of cheers. Jean held her in his hands and they all ooed and awed, “Her lips!” Delaine and Gio exclaimed happily, “Look at those lips!” Jean smiled, “Our precious Bianca Seraphina, welcome to this crazy family.”

************

Zev sat in Armin’s lap. Levi sat down next to him, “In Auschwitz, in Eli Wiesel’s Night, he talks about them hanging a boy. He was hanged but there was something wrong and he wouldn’t die. They let him hang for an hour and they watched him turn blue. They knew he was still alive because his tongue was still red and his eyes not glossy. They made them walk in front of him and look. A man said, “Where is God?” And then someone answered, “Where is God? He’s right here! He’s that boy.”

Levi went silent, tears brimming in his eyes. Armin swallowed, “Is God in Zev’s eyes?” Levi shrugged, “I don’t know where God is for you. But for me, God was in those pits of people and God is in my children.” Nikko was walking shakily while Eren held his hands and helped support him, “Someone wants to see his Aba.” Ezra was on Eren’s back asleep and Erwin was following with the stroller of their two and Armin wiped his eyes, “I still don’t know.” Levi moved closer, “Is it better here?” “Yeah,” Armin’s voice was so soft the sound of happy laughter from Nikko coveredit, “I like it here.”

*************

Levi was off when they told them the due date of his child and Eren knew it, “Why is it a problem?” “It’s not.” “Something about that day…” “Leave me alone, please ahuvi. I don’t want to talk about it.” “Is it a bad omen.” “I don’t know.” “Levi.” “I don’t think so.”

Levi had a panic attack and Eren was helpless to stop him.

*************

Maxim and Ilya stood in front of the doors while Alexi colored and watched TV. They were shaking, nervous. They agreed on two and only two. Ilya kissed him, “I love you.” “Idiot, I’m nervous.” “I am, too.” Hanji’s musical laughter and Levi’s grunt made them relax. They opened the door and smiled. Before they could say anything Eren popped his head in, “ANOTHER BABY!” A chorus of “Another baby” followed from the family and their sweltering ranks continued to grow. Armin and Erwin were expecting their next one and so was Eren and Levi and Jean and Marco. “What is it?” Maxim said excitedly. Levi looked at them, “You’ve completed a mitzvah. It’s a girl.” 

Hanji handed her over and Ilya and Maxim smiled, “Good,” Ilya started, “we already have a name.” Mikasa pushed forth, “What?!” Maxim nodded for Ilya to continue, “Lilly Atara.” Levi smiled, “Lilly like the flower and Atara means crown. A little crown of lilies you have now.” Maxim kissed her, “Yes, we are complete.” **************** 

Marco and Jean were seasons pros now. Jean sketched while Marco edited the paper. Bellamy was excited and bounced, “What are we having?” “We don’t know, little dude.” “I want another sister.” “Well, maybe that’s what we’ll get.” Bianca was asleep and Cesare awake but in his pack and play squirming. Bellamy smiled, “I think if it’s….a boy…...he should be named….. Giovanni.” Marco lowered his Ipad, “Why?” “Because of nonni.” Jean smirked, “I’m okay with a little Gio.” Marco looked at him, “Really?” “Yep. I love your dad.” “Awww Jean.”

Hanji opened the door, “Okay, there are so many babies I feel like this is loosing it’s luster.” They all laughed, “TELL US!” Eren screamed, “ANOTHER BABY!” Hanji smiled and Mila peeked in, “It’s a boy.”

Jean snorted, “Well, it’s decided on Giovanni.” Marco looked over, “Middle name should be Augustine.” “Okay,” Jean smiled brightly announcing to the world, “Giovanni Augustine!”

*****************

Armin was sick and wrapped in his blanket, “I want my baby and then I want to go to sleep.” Erwin had an ice compact on his head, sick too, “I know. I’m dying.” “Being away from Zev makes my heart hurt.” “I know. Tuvia and Yoni don’t understand.” “They’re tiny germ factories.” Nikko walked up to Armin and steadied himself on Armin’s knees, “Va-ti?” “Yes, baby?” “Howld me?” “Sure, baby.” He picked his little Nikko up and held him while they waited. Eren came in with tea and medicine, “Come on sickies.”

He smiled and they thanked him, “If this is another boy….” Armin began and drank some tea, “I’ll weep.” Erwin hummed, “Maybe then we’d have to try again.” “We agreed on no more. Four is okay but with Eren and levi that’s seven.” “But you want a girl!” “I know. Ugh...but what if we never and have like 12?” “Then we’ll have 13 or 14. We have money for days, baby.” “Um, no, please don’t start spending like we do.” “Money isn’t even real.” OH God, Erwin please no.” “We could have 8 planes.” “STOP OR LEVI WILL HEAR!”

The door opened and Levi’s eyes were piercing, “I heard. But,” he had the little squirming form in his hands, “it’s a girl.”

Armin and Erwin were weeping. They covered around her, “Oh, God, Erwin.” “So beautiful.” “OHHHHH I love her!” “A little princess!” “Yes! My princess!” 

Hanji smiled leaning against the doorframe, “Name?”

They waited a bit and then came to an agreement.

“Aviva Geraldine Smith.”

Erwin and Armin kissed sweetly, “I love you.” 

“I love you, too.

***************

Levi was sad. “I want a little girl.” “Well, maybe this baby will be a girl.” “I really want one. Everyone else has one. I want a little girl.” “Levi, we’ll have one eventually. See, Armin and Erwin did.” Levi was so off the closer they got to the birth. He wanted it to be the next day. Hanji said he was looking for ways to delay labor. She didn’t understand why either, “Something must have happened today in the past.” Eren worried his lip, “Take care of them.” Levi wasn’t in the room and Vadimas stepped in. Levi was getting more and more emotional and then he stood up ripping the door open to the womb, “Hanji!” “Levi! My hands are full right now!” The baby was delivered into her hands, “Call the time!” Vadimas was on it, “8:32 pm.” Levi was crying, nearly sobbing, “No.” He said it quietly and he was was so emotional that Hanji didn’t know what to do with the baby. Vadimas put a hand on his shoulder, “It will be okay. Whatever is going on, it will be okay.” 

Hanji handed the baby to be cleaned to Vadimas, “Levi, what’s,” Something poured out of the womb and then Hanji saw something that shouldn’t be there. Levi lunged forward onto his knees and cupped his hands to catch the other baby, “TWINS! WUT! NOOOOOOO I NEVER SAW ANOTHER BABY ON THE SONOGRAM!” Levi had his second baby, “Time of birth 8:34.” Levi sat on his bottom and looked at the baby in his hands.

Eren entered, “WhhhHHHYYY ARE THERE TWO BABIES? I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR TWO WHAT IS GOING ON!” Vadimas handed him the first, “Congratulations, you have a boy and a girl.” He heard Armin, “TWINS!” Mikasa’s voice next, “LET ME THROUGH YOU PEONS!” She pushed forward to see and they all were so excited. But, they sensed something was going on and they all left them alone and let them sort out this mess.

***

Levi looked at his son and Eren began to open his mouth but Levi cut him off, “His name is Judah Jaeger.” Eren didn’t question him, “I really like that.” Levi stared at his son, “He…..Yehuda.” He was crying and Eren didn’t understand, “These are not happy tears.” “No, Eren,” he lowered his head, “they are not.” Eren paused and let Levi regain his composure, “And she’s our little angel. Our little gift from God.” “I want to name her Gisela.” Levi gave him an impressed look, “I have always loved that name.” “You should pick the middle name.” Levi smiled, “Yael. I want her to be strong.” Judah squirmed and so did Gisela till they cried. They became silent when they moved them closer so that they could touch. Eren gave a short laugh, “Uh oh. I always hear that twins are weird. I bet they’re going to be close.” Levi kissed them both, “Oh yes, they will be. I love you, Eren.” Eren kissed him, “I love you, Levi. I love you with all my heart and I love this home, this life, and these children.”

Judah and Gisela

Levi’s heart was so full he was afraid it might break.


	153. Ten Days of Awe

”Put, the, kippah, back, on, your, head, or, I, will, take, you, to, the, bathroom, and, spank, you.” Armin said through gritted teeth. His eyes wide, serious. A low whine, pouty lip, big eyes brimming with fat tears, “Noooooo! Don’t look at me with your mean eyes!” Everyone heard and some people snickered. Armin’s anger and embarrassment knew no bounds, “Zev Friedhelm Smith, get up from the floor and sit, on, your, bottom, and, be _silent!_ ” Whisper yelling was kind of a talent and Armin had it down. Zev moved up on the pew and put his kippah back, “When do we get to sing!?” Armin whipped his head to the side to look at him, “We sing everything, Zev.” “No! The song!” “Which song?” _Shuuuush!_

If it had been someone else he would have crawled under the seat and died but honestly at temple, people understood. Kids had it rough during these three hour services. And it’s not like Zev was some kid who’d rather be playing video games. He was into it. He loved temple and he loved these services but he just wanted it _all_ and _right fucking then._ So, the shushing, had it been from a peer, it would have made Armin very upset. Instead, it merely pissed him off because it was from Erwin and he was goading him knowing that he’d get under Armin’s skin. Armin’s heels moved on the ground as he shifted to look over at him, “I’ll take you in the bathroom and spank you. You’re not too big, _**trust me**_.”

Erwin smiled so smugly, “I love you, baby.” “Hush.” “Vaaaati! The song!” A man leaned up, “Avinu Malkeinu is in six more pages. I like it, too. But the best time to sing it is on yom kippur.” Zev smiled so brightly, “Toda raba, sir. (Many thanks)” Armin smiled at his son. Who was he kidding? He couldn’t be angry at him and the man was very nice. Armin leaned forward and adjusted Aviva in his lap. She was asleep with a slight cold. He noted that Tuvia was calmly turning through all the pages while Yoni sat back, polite look of interest on his face. He was a mini Erwin but with more of the pointed features of Zadkiel. He turned to look at the Ackermanns with Nikko pressed against Levi. 

Nikko was so quiet, so reserved, so polite, so sweet, so thoughtful, literally the list went on and on. He was like a young Levi according to David. He didn’t eat meat, couldn’t stand even going to the vet clinic with Eren because of the sick animals. He’d cry and cry while Ezra held his hand and tried to make him laugh. Ezra was folding papers making small dreidels. Actually, Armin was impressed. Hannukah was some ways out but still. He was keeping himself occupied and on topic. Professor Smith approved of this learning strategy. Levi held Gisela as she looked at the robes the Rabbis wore. Her eyes were alive with light when she heard the cantor sing. Judah was sleepy and fighting it against Eren’s chest. He reached out, small fist somehow opened but looking clenched, and grabbed her ribbons on her dress to hold on to. Judah and Gisela were inseparable and always would be in his opinion. But, maybe that wasn’t a bad thing? Or maybe it was? Oh goodness.

He did know they were the most attractive family in the synagogue. He stood up with Aviva moving slightly. He kissed her head as they opened the doors to reveal the Torah and prepared to walk with it around among the goers so that they could celebrate the new year. This was Nikko and Zev’s favorite part. Nikko was shaking from sincere awe and excitement. Zev pulled at his [dress](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/f3/04/0a/f3040ab33595fcf40dccee5db80f651d.jpg) and laughed, “They’re going to be bringing it by us, right?!” Armin smiled, “Yes.” Four years old, just about to be five in a few months, and he couldn't even see what was going on at his favorite place. Zev was nearly completely blind so it didn’t matter if it was clear that they’d already passed twice, it didn’t matter if they told him in six pages if it wasn’t brail, he was nearly blind to the point where Armin and Erwin had lost hope if there was any thing that could help him.

Armin leaned his head back and looked at the round dome with lights and ornate gold trim. The synagogue was so beautiful he almost wished he’d gotten married here. _Almost._ He closed his eyes as the choir sang and people kissed and celebrated. He wished for a miracle and not for the first time. He wished his son could see.

Zev giggled and then Erwin’s cool breath was near his cheek. Armin felt the air lift his hair slightly. “Baby, kiss the sefer (the prayer book).” Armin opened his eyes and turned his head to the side to see Erwin’s smile. He held the red prayer book up and Armin knew he’d not kiss it till Armin did. He was the same as every year before. Armin kissed where it touched the torah and then Erwin kissed the same spot. Yoni an Tuvia were still so little. Aviva was just now one. She was his last and he wanted to cry. He wanted another but they’d agreed that four was enough. Eight little children in the house under five was enough. Armin kissed Erwin a few times and Zev pulled on his dress, “Vati, I want to kiss it!” 

Erwin leaned over and lowered the sefer, “Here Zev.” Levi was doing the same with Nikko who was emotional and appreciating it all. How was he so grown? Levi kept him against his leg, moved his fingers through his hair. He was so in love with his children it made Armin so happy. He looked at Eren who was kissing on Judah. He saw Armin and smiled. He mouthed, “I love you.” Armin’s heart fluttered. He loved his family.

They sat back down to finish the service and Zev leaned on him, “I love you, vati.” “I love you, Zev.” “I bet you’re really pretty, too.” Armin wanted to absolutely sob. His son didn’t even really remember what he looked like. _But he’s alive._ He remembered that and that’s what saved him. Erwin put his arm around him, “You are really pretty.” Armin kissed Aviva’s head, “Shush.”

***********

Eren was getting something to drink in the sanctuary downstairs when he heard Nikko’s quite _baba._ “Baba?” “Yes, motek?” “May I have some water?” “Of course, baby, here.” “Toda.” “Nikko, are you having fun?” “Yes, a lot.” Eren smiled and squatted down to kiss him, “Baba loves you.” Nikko smiled, “I love baba.” “Rabbi Berkovitch told me that he is going to open the Torah tot room and you know, there are markers and construction paper in there.” Nikko smiled, faintly blushing, “May I go?” “Of course, take Zev.” Nikko smiled brighter, “Toda Baba.”

Eren watched him walk away and then he looked for Ezra. Ezra was definitely his mirror image and that scared him a bit. He found him also in the Torah Tot wing playing the the animals while Levi changed an incredibly fussy Judah. Judah was their…..ehhh how would he describe what they already knew of their one year old? “Stop fighting me!” Levi said exasperatedly and Eren smiled, “We should have named him something that means Ram or wrestling or wrestles with God.” Levi turned and Eren saw a look that he seemed to have reserved specifically for Judah. Eren couldn’t describe it really. He would be clearly frustrated and then all the sudden this look would appear and it was heartbreaking. It was acceptance, utter sadness, bitterness, amusement, fear, and love. How could all of these emotions be in one look? Why was he always so emotional about Judah? Eren would never know. He hoped maybe, though, one day he'd tell him. 

“Ezra, Nikko and Zev are down the hallway.” Ezra smiled, “Okay.” He walked out and down to their room and Eren laughed, “Okay.” He mimicked him and Levi laughed, “I swear I could eat him. He was in here, the animals were being doctored and then he read to them about volcanos. Our 3 year old reads really well.” “They’re our kids and they have the Smith Academy pre 3. Everyone else has prek and we're like fuck that weak sauce.” 

Rabbi Berkovitch appeared with Gisela and Judah quieted down. He smiled, “Funny how twins are. Thanks for letting me walk around with my beautiful little girlfriend. My wife was jealous.” He handed her to Eren. “Better get her into singing.” “Why?” “HaShem moves her towards it I believe.” “Well,” Levi began, “at least he's speaking to you. I want to know why our band got stiffed at a gig the other day. Is he moving me away?” Rabbi Berkovitch laughed, “No, that's unrelated.” Eren smiled, “Good to know. We have a lot of fun with the band and we're kind of a big deal now.” “I'll say. You're playing after break the fast on Yom Kippur?” “Yes.” “Good, very good.”

Berkovitch paused, “Your Nikko, he’s got it, you know? He and Zev could be great rabbis one day.” Eren was intrigued, “And Keita?” Berkovitch shrugged, “He’d be a fine one, too. But, he doesn’t have the spark they do.” Eren and Levi smiled, “Well, we think they’re all great.” “I know you do. I’m going to have braille books for Torah study delivered so that we’ll have them for Zev. We have things for some of the others like ramps and such but not braile. He’s our first for braile.” Levi calmed a still fussy Judah, “Rabbi why are you here now?” Berkovitch smiled, “Because we Jews need to come together more than ever. If building a reform, conservative, orthodox day school is the key then so be it.” “But there’s also a chabad and a few…” “Lubavitch means well. He’s an old conservative orthodox man but he’s a good rabbi.” “If you say so.” Levi said pressing kisses to the side of Judah’s head. Judah stilled and curled into his aba, “It’s nice to bring in the new year with you, Rabbi.”

************

Mikasa watched Keita show Hannahlore how to turn the ipad on to watch their favorite japanese cartoon. She loved to watch how he protected her and took care of her lovingly. “Lore, here! It’s this one.” She pressed it, “Thank you.” She said sweetly and they laid in the floor together waiting on David to appear. He did, shirt unbuttoned, chest exposed, his slacks on, belt around his neck laying and bouncing as he watched, “I just think maybe…” “David.” He stopped, waiting for her, “Just wear what I layed out. Let’s be comfortable.” David smiled, “Mami, you are my world.” He walked into their bedroom and [changed.](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/cb/72/98/cb72981917e0ecf2d7c1f36d11d7b9e3.jpg) “This is better. What are you wearing?” Mikasa raised an eyebrow and moved from behind the counter, [“This.”](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/46/74/12/46741228576d02a283d9c6b34025feea.jpg) He gave her one over, “I have the most beautiful wife in the entire temple.” She laughed, “Shut up.” Hannahlore and Keita climbed on David as they prepared to head to service.

In the car Mikasa took his hand, “We might want to go to the same temple as your brother.” David waited for a second before replying, “You mean with your brother.” “I mean with their children.” “You mean, the one twenty minutes closer.” “I mean, the one we’re going to go to because that’s the one I want us to go to.” “You mean I never even had a choice.” “I mean,” she shrugged, “you always have the illusion of choice.” David snorted, “It’s okay, you know what’s best for us. Right Keita? Women know best.” Keita nodded, “Momma wears the pants.” Mikasa laughed, “Where did you hear that?” “Aba.” “Stop saying things like that in front of them.” She hit him playfully, “I want Keita to marry someone just like you.”

***

After services they went to the other temple for Berkovitch’s sermon and to register Keita for classes. Hannahlore was in a bad mood as they were leaving and Mikasa knew, “Hannahlore, are you okay?” “No.” She said, beautiful red ribbons in her dark curly hair, “I’m hungry, momma.” Mikasa smoothed her hand on her cheek, “What do you want to eat, baby?” She pouted, “Uncle Eren’s cake.” Mikasa nodded, “Oh, someone wants to go to uncle Eren. Levi, Armin, and Erwin’s house.” Keita smiled, “I want to go!” Eren appeared, “I want to go to my house, too.” Armin coming up behind him. Erwin was swinging Zev on his arm while Yoni sat on his shoulders and Tuvia and Aviva were in the stroller dozing. Levi had Judah and Gisela in the stroller while Ezra held Nikko’s hand and walked beside him, “Have you forgotten that we have four children? Do you see Erwin running off and leaving Armin alone?” 

Erwin laughed, “If only you two were as good as we are.” Armin was smug, “I mean, they’re no Smiths.” Erwin pulled Armin closer, “Yeah, those bankrupt peons.” Eren turned to them, “WE HAVE MONEY TOO!” “But not Smith money.” “Actually,” Levi began slowly, “because we had that commitment ceremony I was able to inherit a portion of your investments off shores.” Erwin and Armin were flabbergasted, “THAT’S NOT A LEGALLY BINDING CEREMONY!” “In the south,” David began, “almost anything goes.” Mikasa nodded, “It was a nice ceremony. Hope it was worth it.” 

They all bickered and put up their kids. It was unanimous to head to the Ackermann-Smith’s house. Mikasa leaned her head against the headrest and stared at her husband, “I love you.” David smiled, “Mami, my heart sings only of your praise. It beats to your name. You are the desire of my life.” Mikasa kissed his hand, “Oh, I never get tired of this.”

**********

Armin felt like he was dying as he jerked awake. The curtains were slightly open and all of the sudden Erwin woke up, “Are you okay? You jerked awake.” He reached out to grab Armin’s wrist and Armin sat up, “Something’s wrong.” Erwin inhaled sharply, “Are you okay, baby!?” Armin felt something he couldn’t explain and then they heard the scream that made their muscles spring them out of the bed and towards the door. Armin ripped it open and Erwin was on him. He nearly overcame him but because it was coming from Zevs room Armin was always just before him and into the room they came.

Zev was sobbing, hysterical, “I CAN’T SEE!” Armin wanted to vomit, he was hot, burning, he started to cry because this was what they’d dreaded the entire time. He was on the bed with him, clutching his weeping child to him, “Baby, please, calm down.” “I CAN’T SEE, VATI!” Erwin was so….so...there were no words. He was out of his body and felt like he might pass out. He watched as Armin clutched him helplessly and tried to soothe their eldest son. He covered his face and Zevs poor pitiful statements made it all the harder.

Levi and Erwin were there in seconds and they were like bystanders to a tragedy. Eren was at the bedside and Armin was looking at him helplessly, “He’s…” Armin couldn’t say the words. He sobbed bitterly, brokenly. Levi had Erwin’s hand and he was numb again, eyes wide. Erwin and Levi were back somewhere, somewhere far away. It was just enough for them to be together and experience the tragedy.

Nikko was awake and he walked down the hallway. 

Armin was still holding Zev while the others were awkwardly devastated and unsure.

He looked around and then crawled up on the bed.

He moved towards Zev.

His little hands pulled and soon Nikko was hugging him to him.

Zev sighed and Nikko laid down with him.

The room was silent for a long time.

When they moved, Nikko and Zev were sound asleep.

***************

In their office Eren tried to make himself small. Erwin was in shock sitting on the couch. Levi paced and Armin was against the wall till he pushed off moving quickly with hostility towards Levi, “Levi.” The way he said his name. The way is formed in his mouth. Levi jerked, “No, please, don’t say my name like that.” Armin grabbed his shirt, hands in a fist, “Do this for me. I am asking you to do this for me. Fix this. Fix it!” Levi’s bottom lip quivered, “Mami, I can’t-,” “No! Do this! Help me and my son! Help him, he’s a piece of you! You’re attached!” Armin fell to his knees and Levi looked like he was breaking into pieces, “Levi!” ‘No!” “Levi!” “Please!” “Levi! I am asking you to do this!”

Armin knew that whatever he asked of Levi he’d do it.

Armin knew this.

It was cruel.

So what?

”Levi.”

“Mami, what you ask I have no idea if I could ever deliver.”

Armin was hard, eyes bloodshot, face nestled against his knees, “You will do this for me.”

*****************

Armin pulled the laundry out of the dryer and started folding when he felt Erwin wrap his arms around him and bury his face into his hair. He leaned on him while he worked. He just wanted to be close to him.

Armin kept folding and when he was done Erwin took the clothes from him and carried them upstairs. 

Aviva and Gisela were crawling in the pack and play while Judah slept. Ezra was in their room, too. He had on a onesie that was a dinosaur and Donner laid next to him tail flopping on the floor when they entered. Yoni and Tuvia were also in the floor playing with toys. Nikko sat in the big chair of Erwin’s drinking his juice. “We apparently have them all.” Erwin said looking at Zev who was in their bed, fingers moving silently over the braille in his book. 

Eventually, Eren appeared and gathered his children up. Etwin took yoni, Tuvia, Aviva, and Zev into the bathroom and Armin followed to give them baths. 

Aviva had a bubble crown courtesy of Yoni and Tuvia admired Armin’s array of bath bombs and salts. Armin dropped one in that was rainbow and they all thought it was amazing. Armin’s hand touched Zev’s cheek, “Hador Gadol, please smile.” Zev did and it broke Armin’s already fractured heart, “I love you, vati, daddy.” A chorus of I Love Yous began and both Erwin and Armin were moved.

After they put the older boys in their room they placed Aviva in her crib in their room. Erwin stood looking at her at the side of the dark stained crib, “She looks like you. Our little princess is gorgeous.” Armin moved the pillows off the bed and snorted, “You like how I look?” “I love how you look, how you are, your brain, all of it.” ‘Even my nails?” Erwin paused, “You know I really like them in my back.” Armin had long pink nails covered in swarovski crystals. Armin’s hair was long, down past his shoulders. He dressed more feminine, androgynous was more like it, than before but Erwin was actually really into it and thought he was so clever and gorgeous. They had a clothing line at the store Mikasa made for them called Scotch and Champagne that was selling so well other stores wanted to carry pieces. Armin helped create the styles with Mikasa. All in all, Armin was a jack of all trades. 

”Yoni called you momma the other day.” Armin smiled, “His reasoning was it didn't matter momma or vati but that other parents that wore dresses we're called mom so when i wear dresses I'm mom. I was like, hush little Erwin. You're a snootle doodle poof.” Erwin leaned over and kissed her, “God she's beautiful…..I can't wait to spoil her rotten.” Armin crawled under the covers and sighed. Erwin knew Armin was breaking apart. “Tomorrow is yom kippur.”

Armin pouted. Erwin couldn't see it but he felt it, “I know you don't feel like doing anything but he wants to go.” “What will he do when he can't see anything he loves?” “He wants to go.” “i don't know if I'm strong enough.” Erwin got in the bed with him and pulled him into his broad chest. He kissed his head, “Armin, you are far stronger than any of us.” Armin nuzzled into him and Erwin’s hands moved along him, mapping him out. Oh, how familiar. Erwin loved him, loved everything about him and this was the worst ten days of their life recently. “What a way to start a new Jewish year.” Erwin whispered and Armin made a small noise.

Erwin pulled his head back and kissed him, “Armin, baby,” his voice was low and gruff, “I want to be close to you.” Armin let him kiss him softly as he started to tear up, “I want to feel you but not if you don’t want to.” “It’s fine.” Erwin paused, “Not if you don’t want to.” Armin leaned up to kiss him. Their lips moved against each other smoothly, softly, tenderly. Erwin pushed him on his back and their hands moved along each other deftly.

Erwin and Armin comforted each other as best as they could and when they were finished Armin cried and decided to leave and go for a drive. “Baby, it’s midnight.” “Come with me.” “Our kids.” Armin paused, “Well, they fucking suck.” There was long pause and then Erwin started to giggle and Armin joined him, “Wow, how mean!” “Shut up! You know what I meant!” “Our fucking kids suck.” “NO! IT SUCKS THAT WE CAN’T JUST GO SOMEWHERE WITHOUT THEM!” “They’re now a sucky fucking burden!” “STOP LAUGHING ERWIN!” Erwin was red in the face and Aviva started to fuss, “Oh look what you and your big dumb meanie headedness did!” Armin threw the covers off of him and went and picked her up. She quietened down as he cooed and kissed on her.

Erwin sat up, “Baby?” “What?” “You look so pretty right now.” Armin turned, his silhouette in the moonlight with his little girl’s. “I’ll go...for Zev.” Erwin laid back, “Good. Zadkiel’s coming too. But not for the whole thing. Or at all...you know him.”

Erwin looked at the ceiling and hoped tomorrow would be better.

*******************

Levi woke up with Eren pressed against him, “No sex, Eren.” Eren snorted, “I know, Neshama.” “No bathing…” “That’s killing you.” “Those Smith’s had sex.” “It’s from 6 am to 6 pm, Neshama. They had sex before midnight so hush. We could have done that.” “Eren, did you fart?” “Yes. I pooted.” “No, I refuse to use poot instead of fart.” “You want our kids to say fart? Poot just sounds better.” “I can’t Eren. Nothing with you is ever what I expect.” “I love you, Neshama. Let’s get up prepare to atone.” “I have a lot to atone for.” “Me too.”

Eren kissed Levi for a while. He knew that the incident with Armin had really disturbed him and made him unhappy. He was working non-stop. Eren had lashed out at Armin. He’d told him it wasn’t fair and it wasn’t. Not the way he could make Levi do things for him. Armin hadn’t apologized and it pissed Eren off until he found himself in the shower and really thought about it. When he thought about Nikko his stomach clenched and he threw up. He then understood him.

Levi went to go check on their children before changing. He walked down the hallway softly, treading ever so lightly as to not disturb anyone. He opened the door to the nursery and saw Zev and Nikko by the crib, “Aba.” Levi leaned against the doorframe, “Is everything okay? Were they upset?” Nikko was holding Zev’s hand, “Zev thinks Gisela is pretty. He used to come and look. Now I tell him what she looks like.” Zev’s cheeks were flushed. Levi thought it was adorably creepy. He was also suddenly so depressed he thought he might absolutely weep right there. They looked on, worried he’d be mad. Levi knew he should say something to let them know they were okay.

He opened his mouth and, “Y’all are little freaks. Get on outta here.” Smooth, Levi. Smooth like sandpaper. Nikko took Zev by the hand and led him out. Levi checked on Gisela and Judah, “Gigi, you’ve got an admirer it would seem. I hope you know you’re not going to be interested in that. You’re going to go to school, get a career, travel, win awards, and then when you’re 40 or 50 you can get married and have a family.” Gigi smiled and kicked as her aba spoke to her. Judah looked at him and moved his arms upwards, “Now you want me to hold you? In three seconds you’ll cry because you want your sister.” He picked him up regardless and kissed him, “I love you so much, my little Yehuda.” He picked Gisela up and kissed her cheeks, “My Giselaka.”

[He](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/0a/c7/a5/0ac7a5bcc2239dca60449ebaa19a2e36.jpg)dressed them, put a white bow in[ her](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e2/88/12/e28812eda1d03f77901927957ccfa095.jpg) hair that was huge and Erwin would make fun of. [Judah](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/54/61/4a/54614aa2dabe8605f58a3be3ae549a4e.jpg) looked just as innocent as Gisela did without a bow. [Eren](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/68/7d/ae/687daeaa7ca89aedd8dcea4e12ddbaed.jpg) came and squealed with Ezra in his arms, “Neshama, they are so cute. You are so cute. I love you.” Levi smiled, “Ahuvi, let’s outdo the Smiths.” Eren smiled wickedly, “Oh yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaah.”

*****************

[Armin](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/b6/fb/e5/b6fbe5f27ecff51dad684885055e8965.jpg) was patting Tuvia’s back while he cried on his shoulder. Armin had no idea what had upset him and well, that was the case most of the time with these children of theirs. Kids were weirdly sensitive. Erwin would sometimes freak out at how easily they’d start crying and over think his actions. Armin was just much more willing to go with the flow in that way. He was anal and definitely the mother but he didn’t always care about ‘why’ they were crying. [Erwin](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/8a/86/66/8a86663d502447879f60320d25c10bc3.jpg) was now putting Zev’s socks on and Yoni was yawning leaning against Donner while Aviva was on the floor crawling around looking for one of the cats. Nikko appeared, “Can I ride with Zev?” 

Armin smiled, “Of course, baby.” Nikko had been Zev’s guiding hand and Armin was infinitely thankful. He rode with them and when they sat in the pews he was there next him, holding his hand, and telling him things, describing what he couldn’t see. Armin started to cry. Zev was so sad and Erwin held his hand, “Baby, I know.” The service went on, “Please, Erwin, why?!” Erwin looked at him, “Why what baby?” “Why?!” Armin covered his face with a tissue and Eren’s hand touched his shoulder. 

The Ackermanns were behind them and Levi’s mouth was moving in silent prayer. Eren’s heart was breaking. They were all weeping for their sins, for everything but Armin’s problem weighed on Eren more than anything else. It went on, the three hour service. When they had a break Nikko told Zev in more detail what was happening. Levi was staring, lips still moving, and then the next service started.

An hour went by.

Armin excused himself and Erwin wanted to go with him but he couldn’t. Erwin’s feet were like stones. Levi kept praying. Eren admired his miniature Levi who was taking such good care of his friend. Gisela was fussy but a woman in the pew behind picked her up and Eren didn’t mind. He knew these people. Judah, however, did not care for his sister being away but Erwin took him up into his arms and kissed him, loved him, adored him. Eren was aware that there was tension possibly lurking with Erwin and Judah for the simple fact that Erwin wanted Judah to love him and Judah was….difficult. He was a fussy baby. He was going to be a very headstrong adult. Erwin bonded with Nikko and loved on him but it was always the ones that were more difficult that he was fixated on.

Eren loved his grumpy fussy little Judah and he loved his sweet sentimental Nikko. Ezra was his little helper and Gisela was the most beautiful magnificent little girl in the world. Armin and Eren often were assumed to be her parents, a fact they both relished because maybe there was something more between them that that little assumption brought out than they had been aware of. Either way, Gisela’s full pouty lips were to die for. 

When Armin returned it was time for the ceremony of healing and he stood wide eyed and pale next to Erwin who held Judah still. Eventually, Zev was called for healing by Rabbi Berkovitch and Armin let loose a desperate pitiful sob that made them all cringe and feel devastated. Levi suddenly seized up, his body snapped tight. He leaned forward, inhaled sharply, “I have to go.” Levi was sickly looking, sweating, he ran out of the synagogue and Eren was left with his kids and the prospect of wrangling them all. They all pulled it together long enough for the sermon to finish and the ceremonies to conclude. At the end Berkovitch wanted to speak privately with Erwin and Armin and they felt like they needed too.

Zev walked towards Eren, “Where is gigi?” Eren was holding her, “I have her in my arms.” Zev was shaky, relying on memory to move around. He was almost five. Why was he forced to do this? Why blind before five!? “I want to….see her.” He started to get upset and Eren sat down and took his hand, “Here, touch her face, baby.” They’d been slightly prepared for this. Zev touched her, “I wanted to see her when she was my age.” “I know you did, baby.” Zev looked so disappointed, “I wish i could see.” Eren started to tear up, “I do, too. I do too, baby.” Zev wanted to hold her but it made Eren uncomfortable, “Not right now, sweetheart. We need to go home and eat, okay? I know you’re starving. We’ve been here all day.” “I’m hungry.” “I know, I am too. 12 hours is a long time.” “I like not wearing shoes.” Eren laughed, “I do, too.”

Nikko walked towards them, “I miss aba. He wasn’t here for blessings or atoning, baba. He wasn’t here for them!” Oh, their little Nikko was a very good and sincere jew. They were so proud. “I know baby, but he had something very important to do.” “The hospital?” “Maybe. Baba must have forgotten.” “You do that.” “Oh...thanks, baby. You always keep it real.” “Aba says to always tell the truth.” “Yes, aba is so very wise.” “You’re handsome.” “Ohhhhh my sweet Nikko.”

When Armin and Erwin returned Armin walked towards Eren into his chest and nuzzled against him, “I need to go home. I’m drained. I can’t.” Eren held him, “I know. Let’s go.” When they got outside Eren saw he’d left the car and he laughed slightly, “Thanks...but how did you get home, Neshama?”

They drove home and all of his kids were crying because they were hungry and upset. It had been a long day. It was still long. What was waiting for them at home? He didn’t know. Armin, however, was about to explode. Armin could feel it and it was killing him to watch his best friend, his little piece of his soul, lose such a precious thing. Zev was the first of their babies, he was their laughter, he was their spark of excitement, he was mischievous. Now he was blind and hurting. 

They pulled up and Eren started to get the kids out. Mikasa and David were on their way. Armin was holding a crying Zev, “He’s upset.” Erwin had Aviva and when the door opened Zadkiel came running out and took Tuvia and Judah. Eren was thankful. He had Gisela, Ezra was bouncing up and down and Nikko walked off quietly behind Zadkiel. Armin moved inside of the house, tears streaming down his face as his heels clicked up the wooden stairs on his way to somewhere, somewhere he could comfort his blind son.

And then Levi stepped out of his office and gripped him by the arm, “Do you trust me?” Armin’s breath hitched.

Levi’s face was manic.

Armin was shaking.

The time stretched until it was like the pulling of a single hair taunt and then suddenly,

_snap_

“Yes.”

Levi pulled Zev’s sleeve down off his shoulder and then quickly stuck the needle in. 

Zev yelled out, still crying. 

Armin felt faint. 

Levi pulled him into the office and took off Zev’s dress clothes putting him into a shirt of Levi’s. He laid him on the futon and Armin went limp falling to the floor. Levi managed to bring him back and moved him onto the futon with his son. They both tried to comfort Zev through the painful experience. Holding him, stroking his hair, kissing him. There was no way of knowing if anything was happening other than pain. Armin looked at Levi and saw him staring at Zev with such sorrow. This is what he'd wanted. But had he made a mistake? 


	154. Pretty

Erwin stood outside of the office door and listened to his crying son. His heart hurt so badly, there were no words. He felt the heavy wood beneath his fingers, smooth and cold. He wanted to enter but the door was locked. Whatever was going on in there he had no idea other than Levi and Armin were both with him and he tried to take comfort in that. He just wanted to comfort his son. 

When he thought of the life Zev had before him he was nearly crushed by the weight of it all. Zev was their little devil in the house, the anti-Nikko as far as extrovert and introverts go. Both boys were extremely sensitive, sweet, thoughtful, and good they just showed it differently. Zev liked animals, he liked hugs, he liked to laugh, he liked playing games and not being so serious. Nikki didn't mind games but he'd rather read. Zev read, he just dealt with the fact he could read like the others and got discouraged. Nikko was reserved physically unless he wanted to be. He was small and would always be. He was too emotional about animals to handle them sick and it was rare to get real smiles and laughs freely because he was so sensitive.

But these 10 days he'd been Zev’s eyes. Zev had Nikko when all the world was closed to him. Erwin had had Levi when all the world had forgotten him. Levi had been his guide in the darkness. He was moved to tears again, “Baby?” He said knocking on the door, “please….please let me see Zev.”

There was nothing for a long time but eventually Levi opened the door. His shirt discarded, hair a mess, sweaty, eyes manic, “Come in.” Armin was on the futon with Zev who was red and steaming. Erwin sort of understood but he was terrified, “What happened!?” “A tragedy or a miracle.” Levi said in his gruff way. Erwin pushed past Levi and Levi grabbed his arm. He reeled back and punched Levi, “I know what you’ve done.” Levi wiped his bloody lip, “Nail me to the cross when there’s a just cause, einayim sheli.” Erwin was so hopeful but so afraid because of what he’d done, “Why is he moaning?! WHY!?” Levi’s eyes widened just a bit more, his voice biting and harsh as he yelled, “ _Because it hurts!_ ”

Erwin moved towards Zev and Armin, checking his son over before Levi slumped down into his desk chair, blood still alive with taste in his mouth. Erwin was scared. He understood that. Armin was a wreck and he pressed Zev’s face into his chest, pressing kisses to him and making sounds only a parent can make for their child. Erwin moved his hand up and down Zev’s back soothingly and then he turned around to look at Levi. Erwin wanted this nightmare to be over.

************

It was a moment in time that Erwin would never forget. Pale lily white hands on either side of Armin’s face. The sun’s golden rays illuminating Armin’s face with splendid inner light. His blue eyes were like a china doll and each eyelash was the mirror image of perfection and the exact copy of the long white ones that framed the red iris’ of his son. “Vait,” the words were so soft and inspired; they weighed so heavy. “You’re so pretty.”

Zev was looking at Armin for the first time, really. He was moving Armin's hair off of his face and looking at all of the details. “Vati, you’re so pretty.” Armin smiled, “Thanks baby.” “Like a princess.” “Wow,” Armin was choked up, a tear ran down his cheek, “I don’t know what to say.” “Don’t cry, vati.” “Sorry, baby.” Zev kissed him, “I love you.” “Love you too, baby.” Armin kissed him back and then Zev turned to Erwin, “WOOOOW, DADDY YOUR EYEBROWS!” 

Erwin chuckled, “Big, huh?” “GI-NOR-MUS!” Erwin kissed him and Zev giggled, “You’re beard is scratchy. It’s so pretty.” “What about it?” “The blond colors and then the greys and silver,” “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOAHHHHHHHHH ZEV THOSE NEW EYES OF YOURS ARE JUST CONFUSED! HERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO GREY OR WHITE IN MY BEARD!” Zev blinked, stuck his finger on a spot in his beard, “Daddy, right there. It’s white right there.” “This is so hurtful. I’ll be sure to point out your aging when you get older.” 

Zev moved into Erwin’s lap, “Daddy, you look like vati. You’re blonde and have blue eyes but your face is a different shape.” “It is.” “Do I look like you?” Erwin paused, “Yeah, a little. But, you have a lot of dedka in you.” “Show me.” “You don’t know what you look like?” “No.” “Oh, oh,” he looked at Armin who was crying again but silently, “come on.” “I’ll call your dedka to come here.” “Okay.”

Erwin carried him to the mirror and held his hand over his eyes. Armin got a cranky and worried Zadkiel to come inside. He made him stand by Erwin, “What are we doing?” Erwin looked at him, “Zev’s never seen himself.” Zadkiel went still, “I….hold on.” “No!” Armin said, “I think I should clean up.” “Really?!” “Yeah.” “Too late.” Erwin and Armin watched anxiously as Zev saw himself for the first time, really saw himself.” Zev’s mouth was open as he saw his own face, eyes, skin, and then he started to cry and get upset, “I’M WHITE!”

Erwin comforted him, “It’s just your skin Zev.” “I’M NOT LIKE ANY OF YOU!” “Baby, we’ve told you that. You’re fine, Zev. You do look like us!” “Nooooo!” “Zev,” Zad began, “look at me and your daddy.” Zev tried to, “Look at my face and your face.” Zev did and through his tears he started to see exactly how he looked like them and somehow with Zad’s questions about similarities he made him forget his skin. 

Armin watched as his normal son returned, smiling, laughing, making jokes. Zev then asked him to stand with them and asked Zadkiel if he thought his vati was pretty. Zad didn’t snort or say anything snide like normal. He looked at Armin and then wrapped his arms around him putting his chin on his shoulder and said, “So absolutely pretty.” He kissed Armin’s cheek and Armin flushed, “Vati, you’re even prettier now!”

******

Zev went around looking at everyone but he was most taken with Aviva and of course, his precious Gisela. He loved Gisela’s platinum locks and Aviva’s special color of blue eyes. He thought Gisela’s green was the prettiest green he’d ever seen and Aviva’s lips the fullest but Gisela’s shape maybe was more defined. He talked and talked and described things in such detail that they were all amazed. Nikko said it sounded like he was even seeing things for the first time.

******

Zev crawled up on the bed where Levi was lying. He thought he was asleep so he pressed himself close to him. Levi wasn’t asleep, however. He opened his eyes and pulled him closer, “Zevka,” his yiddish flew out of him like a spring, “how nice it is to see you.” Zev looked up at him, “Thank you, aba.” Levi admired him, “You know,” Levi was struggling, “aba doesn’t always have the words…” Zev moved up and kissed him. Levi blinked and Zev nuzzled into his chest, “Aba, you don’t need words with me. HaShem tells me them. I love you, aba. Thank you.” Levi kissed the top of his head, “I love you, too. I will always love you and take care of you.” “And of vati and daddy?” “And of vati and daddy. Your aba and baba love them very much and we love you.”

Eren came in after listening from the bathroom; he climbed in the bed, “Zev, tomorrow do you want to go over to the clinic and look at different animals? Donner is, of course, the prettiest but you know, the others are neat.” Zev giggled, “Donner is bestest!” “Yeah he is!” “Shush, you two. So loud.” “Zev, help me punish aba.” They both started to tickle him and giggle as Levi attempted to fight them back. The sound of the door was missed and in came Nikko who jumped in the bed to join them. When it was all said and done, Levi was red in the face and Zev was pressed against him with Eren and Nikko quietly talking on the other side of the bed.

******

Armin was, for the first time in almost five years, relaxed. He knew that his albinism was not fixed, they didn’t know why for sure. He’d still have to stay out of the sun and live covered in sunscreen but his eyes were now almost perfect……-ly acceptable. He’d still need glasses for reading because the letters seemed to move. They believed he might have dyslexia or he couldn’t comprehend it all and thus, sensory overload. David was hopeful it was this option and not dyslexia. However, he could see. He was going to be fine. He was going to be fine. He was going to be fine.

Armin held Yoni in the nursery, “Gaon,” he always called their Yoni gaon because he was going to become a little Erwin, he knew it, “vati loves you.” Yoni smiled, “Love you.” Armin kissed his cheeks while he giggled. He held him in a tight hug while Erwin chased Tuvia around trying to put his pjs on.

“Tuvia Konrad!” Tuvia had a look of utter desperation, “Daddy, noooooo!” “PUT THEM ON, SON!” “NOOOOOOOO!” “Erwin, try asking why.” “BABY! I DON'T CARE WHY HE SHOULD JUST DO IT.” “That's working out well. Keep doing it.” Erwin pouted, “I'll spank you.” “Ha! AS IF! Tuvia, my little fire, why don't you want the pjs?” Tuvia’s bottom lip quivered, “I don't like wearing clo’es when I sleep. I hate it. I hate socks, too!” Erwin laughed loudly before catching himself. Armin hummed, “Just the pants and shirt.” “No!” “Okay, I know what we'll do. No socks, just your underwear and,” He put Yoni down. Armin pulled his shirt off and put it on Tuvia, “A big comfy not tight shirt.” Tuvia weighed this for some time, “No socks?” “No socks.” “да.” Armin rolled his eyes, stop hanging out with your dedka.” “I love dedka.” “he's….okay.”

*****

Erwin grabbed Armin’s ponytail and smiled, “Aviva is asleep and she's feeling better, too. No fever or sniffles!” Armin smiled, “Good! All I want is for it to stay like this and nothing else bad happen ever!” Erwin noted Armin was in one of his shirts now and was also much more relaxed. He felt the same but maybe he'd always felt just a little bit better than Armin because Armin did the bulk of the worrying for them both. He felt guilty for sure but then again he knew Armin wouldn't judge him. “Are you happy?” Armin looked up, “There are no words.”

Armin moved onto the bed, “Daddy?” Erwin looked at him, “Yes, baby?” “Daddy, come play with me.” Erwin smirked, “Oh, baby, of course.” Armin leaned back, “But, really be nice.” Erwin moved onto the bed on his hands and knees towards Armin, “I will be, baby. I’ll be so nice.” “Nicies.” Armin batted his lashes and tilted his head to side coyly while Erwin crawled up his body. He sat back on his haunches moving his hands up Armin’s legs, “Baby, you’ve got some nice legs.”

Armin smirked, “I do?” He said baby-ish and cute. Erwin leaned down and nuzzled his face against his leg. He licked up the smooth skin while his hands kneaded the muscles, “Yeah, baby. You’ve got all the right things. The best things.” Armin’s breath hitched, “The bestest?” “The bestest, baby.” He kissed up from the knee towards his shorts. Armin let a low moan out and rolled his head to the side. Erwin buried his face in his crotch and then pulled his little pink shorts off. Armin smiled, “So rough, daddy. Nicies…pwease.”

Erwin looked up at Armin’s face and he thought he was beautiful. He asked for the lube and Armin grabbed it from the nightstand and handed it to him. Erwin started to kiss and lick at Armin’s sex. He stroked him till he was rock hard, slide his fingers over the slit of his cock and started to cover it with his lips. Armin moaned as Erwin found his stride. He smelled that uniquely Armin scent that drove him wild. He tasted him and he loved it.

He pressed his fingers inside of him and Armin whined. He was making so many sweet noises it brought Erwin back to the time before kids, before Armin and he were so upset. Armin was like melting gold down how he became so beautiful and pliable. Armin changed himself over and over again and now he was pushing Erwin on his back, hand gripping Erwin’s cock and rubbing it along the length of his cleft. He then slid down on his slowly, hotly, he kissed Erwin with such fervor.

When Armin moved his hips Erwin moaned and put his hand up to grab Armin’s ponytail. He ripped his head back and sat up with him in his lap. He kissed along his neck and sucked purple marks along his skin. Armin carded his hands through Erwin’s hair and moaned into his mouth as he pulled him back up and sucked his bottom lip, biting slightly. “Daddy,” he said breathy and sweet, “you fuck me so good.” “Thanks, baby.” Erwin pushed him down on his back and got a little rougher, “Oh,” Armin’s breath hitched, “harder daddy.”

Erwin and Armin kissed passionately, panting, their hips moving together in a dance they’d been practicing for years now but it was always new, exciting. Erwin’s hand was on Armin’s throat while Armin clenched down so strongly on him while making the most seductive faces. Erwin’s heart fluttered when Armin came undone. Armin whined submissively and then he embraced Erwin who collapsed on him, sweaty and sated. Armin had come so hard he closed his eyes and then hummed, “I love when you choke me like that.” Erwin kissed his shoulder, “I love you.” Armin smiled, “Let’s be so happy from now on.” “Yes, baby. I love you, I love you,” Armin giggled, “I love you, too. Freak.” “Levi is a bad influence.” 

Armin smiled cuddling into him as they moved to their side, “He’s the coolest.” Erwin snorted, “I’m the fucking coolest.” Armin kissed him sweetly, “Nope. But, you’ll do.”

*************

Mila stepped off the plane, “Daddy, where is uncle Levi?” Mike rolled his eyes and Hanji smiled, elbowing him, “Stop.” Mike picked his little girl up. “I’m sure he’ll be waiting at the airport.” Hanji was giddy and Mike thought she was ridiculous, “Do you get this excited about me coming home?” Mila kissed Mike, “Daddy, you’re the best man in the world.” “I think you think Levi is.” “NO!” “I mean, your momma does.” “Michael!” Mike shrugged, “Let’s go.” Hanji hit his shoulder and then kissed him, “You're so mean but I love you.” Mila giggled.

************

Zev thought Mila was gorgeous. He kept looking at her thick ringlets. She wore a ribbon, himmel blue, that accented her dark brunette lowlights and red cherry highlights. She was coloring, age seven and already fluent in three languages. She spoke in Levi in French and monopolized his time. She liked to hold Gisela and admire her features, “She has your jawline.” Levi was preparing lunch, “Does she, sweetness?” “And the nose, it’s like Armin’s but right here in her brow it’s…..um...that picture you have in your office.” “Which one?” “Um...the one you hide.” “Oh….of my mother?” “Is she your mother?” “Yes.” “Yes, she’s so pretty like your mother. Her eyes are more open like uncle Eren.”

Zev was at the table now looking at her but he could tell something was wrong with Nikko. “Are you okay?” Nikko kept his head down, neck pink, eyes watering, “I’m fine.” Zev looked back at Mila, “Have you said anything to Nikko? I think you should.” She looked up at him, “Hi, Nikko.” She smiled and Nikko stared. Zev’s brow furrowed, “Say hi.” He elbowed him and Nikko blushed more, “Hi.” He put his head back down and went stiff. Zev snorted, “Okay. Mila, how long are you here?” 

She hummed, “Two weeks. We’re going to see uncle Vadimas and I’m going to spend time with uncle Levi and you all.” Zev smiled, “ARE YOU GOING TO SCHOOL WITH US?!” She shook her head, “No, I’m gunna go back to my school.”

Zev frowned and then started drawing again. They worked quietly. Mila then looked up, “You're so handsome, Zev. Like in a fairy tale.” Nikko felt Zev smirk, “Thanks. You're pretty.” Mila smiled and then Nikko added barely above a whisper, “Tu est jolie.” Mila heard and she put her head back down. Her cheeks flushed pink. Both listened to Zev narrate his story of fighting monsters and saving princesses. He'd never been able to color and see it in all its entirety. Nikko and Mila helped make a paper dragon and hats.

When Eren walked in he smiled and sat down making a new one for himself and claiming their table as his new colony. Ezra collected glitter taxes and Yoni ligated prices on behalf of the natives. Hanji joined and denied free health care when Mike appeared and decided he'd run for president of the free people. The kids lost interest but the adults, well, they nearly created WWII again. 

It was a pretty good day and soon they’d take Zev and the entire family on a trip to reexamine all of the world's beauty. 


	155. Take Care of Them

Mila woke up, went to the hospital and spoke with Vadimas while Hanji worked on some things, and then she’d come back home and play with her “cousins” till dinner and after dinner she’d ride horses with her dad and then end up with Levi and a book in his office for one on one time. She loved visiting her long distance family and loved spending time with Levi. She thought he was the most handsome, the most fun, and the most intelligent person in the world. Levi was absolutely the most magnificent creature in the world. “Sweetness?” She blinked, “I like your story.” 

She’d written a story at school and her teachers loved it and submitted it for a national contest. She’d won and Hanji brought it because of the subject matter. “Do you really want to be a surgeon?” Mila nodded, “Yes! I really do!” He smiled, “What made you want to be one? Your mother?” She nodded, “And you.” Levi smiled and blushed a little, “Me? I’m not that great.” “But, you are!” Levi kissed her cheek, “Time for bed, sweetness.” Mila pouted, “No! Please!”

He carried her into her room, “I have to go put Eren in the bed and make him sleep. You know how he is.” She knew Eren worked late hours and needed to be put in bed sometimes and told to “just calm down.” Mila laid down, “Can I watch TV or read or something?” Levi smiled, “Of course, just don’t stay up too late or your momma will spank me.” She giggled, “She’d just make you listen about her research.” “Does she do that to you?” “Yeah…” Mila paused, “when you’re asleep or really busy she does. Daddy listens all the time so she feels like she is annoying him. But, you know, he likes everything about momma.”

Levi moved his fingers through her hair, “He does. That’s why they’re a great couple.” He leaned over and kissed her and she hugged his neck, “I love you, Levi. I wish I could see you all the time.” Levi wanted to pull away and run but he didn’t. He smelled her and cherished her as long as he could, “Good night, sweetness.” “Levi!?” “What?” “I LOVE YOU!” “Thank you.” She pouted and her eyes watered. It sent him spinning, “I LOve you, too! I love you.” She nodded and then pulled the blanket up. He was nervous but he left and she stopped crying and smiled, “Thanks uncle Armin. That came in handy.”

*********

Nikko pressed on the door and Mila was watching the TV. “Mila?” She looked at him, “Yes?” “Would you...like to read?” Mila was cautious. She was still jealous of Nikko and how much Levi loved him. He’d hold him, let him in bed with him and kiss him. He was so….so… Nikko was like Levi and there was only room for one of those in her life. But, something made her bite, “What book?”

Nikko walked forward. She was three years older than him and he felt so in awe of her, “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.” She moved over and he climbed in the bed with her. He looked like a miniature version of his father who’d just left. “It’s a classic.” She nodded, “I’ve heard of the movie.” “I don’t like to watch movies until I read the book.” “Me too.” He smiled very, very faintly and she giggled. His heart beat painfully in his chest.

********************

Nikko woke up to Levi stroking his back and Mila groaned as the sun came in, “Wake up, sweet things. I’ll let you get ready. It’s the others that cause problems.” He was right, Ezra was insane and didn’t like to bathe. “Thank you for reading to me.” She said softly and Nikko looked at the ceiling, “You’re welcome.” They went to the bathroom and got ready. When they left they could smell breakfast and they were hungry. Hanji was yelling loudly and Eren and Mike were speaking.

They walked down the stairs and went to the living room where cartoons were and everyone else was playing and sleeping. Ezra was under a blanket with Yoni coloring while Tuvia was to the side holding his fox stuffed animal near where Judah, Gisela, and Aviva were crawling in their pack and play. Mila and Nikko sat on the couch and looked at the powerpuff girls, “Are you cold?” Nikko said very quietly. Mila had goosebumps, “Yeah.” He got a blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders. She looked at him, “You’re cold, too.” “It’s fine.” “No,” she opened it and wrapped it around him and pulled it closed, “but now it is.” 

They were called to eat by Hanji and Mike. After everyone ate and the day began. When Levi was cleaning up Hanji leaned over to him, “So, I walked into the livingroom and Nikko and Mila were sharing a blanket.” Levi did nothing and said nothing. When she huffed and left he felt the corner of his mouth turn up in a slight giddy smirk. Eren appeared, “Are you smiling a real smile!?” Levi covered his mouth, “No, leave me alone, ahuvi.” Eren frowned, “M-E-A-N.” “I love you.” “You better. I’m fucking amazing. Gotta go save some animals!” Levi kissed Eren and it was steamy, “When I come home, Neshama,” Levi finished, “I’m going to tear your ass up.”

Mike looked at Hanji and kissed her, “I’m not gunna lie, I’m actually hoping that something does happen between them.” Mike chuckled, “But, dealing with another Levi in my life is going to kill me.” Hanji smiled, “He’s so sweet.” “True...but they’re four and seven. It’s not going to be something. Bellamy is still in the picture.” Hanji rolled her eyes, “I know but…” “If you couldn’t have Levi you’d want Mila to have Nikko?” “Mike! I want you!” Mike smiled, “I’m not fucking stupid. I know you love me, momma. But, I also know that there’s something about these Ackermann boys that just draw people in.” 

Hanji smiled, “He’s so sweet.” Mike nodded, “Like sugar….but she’d be better off with a Smith.” Hanji dramatically rolled her eyes and slumped, shoulder sagging, “Miiiiiiiike,” she said exaggeratedly and exasperatedly, “not this again. I get it, I get it. You want her with a little Erwin. Well, I don’t really care as long as she ends up with someone in this huge family because, well, I want that. She’d be happy and taken care of and loved, so loved.” She kissed Mike, “I love you, Michael.” He smiled and kissed her again, “I heard Levi say he was going to tear Eren’s ass up,” “Fine, we’ll try anal.” “Yeeeesssssss.” “But, never ever talk about it with Erwin.” “Awwww okay.”

***************

Ezra danced down the isles, “Can I take cookie and fluffy out?” Eren looked at him and contemplated it, “Only if you’re real nice and stay in the petting area.” Ezra smiled, “Baba?” Eren smiled, “What?” “I wanna be like you.” Eren’s heart was so full, “I love you. Now, go take them over there and love them.” Ezra waited for the assistant to take them out of their cages and put them in the socialization area. Cookie and Fluffy were two generically names kittens that Ezra loved. Eren saw in Ezra so much of himself. 

Ezra was laughing and smiling while Eren worked through the clinic. He had a large staff now and that was good because he was able to take off more and he felt like he was helping because the vet school was now sending interns to him to help open more spots at the very selective school. Erwin had something to do with that and they were all waiting now for the council to choose him as the new president. Zackely would become VP again. Eren was starting to feel bad for Levi having to split his time between the hospital and the school. He was working on a grant with Armin and Erwin needed him to help keep the medical school looking spiffy. 

Eren put a chart down and then heard it. _POP!_ A metal pan hit the floor and then the barking started. He opened the door and was nearly taken out by birds flying around, “OH SHIT! NO!” Sometimes the birds got out of their cage and he had no fucking idea how because if he did he would absolutely prevent this chaos from happening by locking them up like a fair maiden in the olden days.

Ezra yelped, “BABA! THE LAMA!” They had a large animal wing and right now their most….difficult patient was a lama named Sam who just lived to fuck shit up. He heard him and he just started running all over the room. The animals in the cages were petrified and of course, some wanted only to break free of their little prisons. Eren really needed to stop seeing this all so dramatically but it was how he felt it was really all going down. Ezra tried to protect his kittens and get out of the way but then there was a monkey and Eren just felt like he was a cosmic joke. 

“EZRA! GET IN THE SAFE PLACE!” Ezra ran over to the closet where they kept the coats. Another squawk and the birds were now fighting the lama who had forged an alliance with the monkey but then the cats decided to pull some sort of guerilla warfare on them all with claws, hisses, and trickery. His assistants abandoned him, “THAT’S FINE! I DON’T NEED ANY HELP! I AM HUMANITY’S STRONGEST!” Eren ripped his coat off and prepared himself to wrestle a lama monkey tag team to the ground, “Come on, my pretties. Make me bleed.” He growled before leaping forward.”

Mike opened the door hearing all the commotion, “EREN! NO!” ************** 

Mila and Nikko were on the floor of the temple in the reading room with books around them. She had a large bow in her hair Levi had tied that morning. Hanji and Levi were meeting with Berkovitch to discuss another humanitarian outreach mission. Levi and Hanji went every year somewhere since he was a white helmet. They normally went to Africa but this time it was Haiti, “Don’t you remember in 2016 when Mathew hit?” Hanji said sadly and Levi nodded, “Now, it’s happened again,” he looked at the stained glass windows in the room with the star of david, “and the world is _silent._ ” 

Nikko looked up, “Can I come, aba?” Levi turned around, “No, you’re much too young.” “But, baba is going.” “Baba is coming to help them save livestock.” “I want to help.” Mila looked up, eyes brimming with tears, “I do, too.” Levi and Hanji were moved. Hanji shook her head, “It’s not like when we go to Africa and you can stay at a house far away with each other. They don’t have structures really anymore. The storm destroyed everything.” “I want to be a doctor!” Mila stood up and ran to her mother, “Like you and Levi.” Hanji smiled and picked her up into her arms kissing her, “I love you.”

Nikko and Mila fell asleep and Levi carried Nikko in his arms as Hanji carried Mila. He kissed Nikko’s head and smelled him, “He smells like fallen snow, tree syrup, and sometimes wood like in the dead of winter when stoves are being stoked.” Hanji smiled sweetly, “He’s made of fluff. Oh, I love him. Mila smells like peach jam and sugar.” “I know, sweetness.” Hanji reached to take his hand, “I love getting to see you. I love our children knowing each other.” Levi moved closer, “Stay.”

Hanji sighed slightly, “I can’t.”

***********

Maxim and Ilya were at the airport and they were more than happy that Erwin sent the private plane to pick them up. Maxim had Lilly in his arms and was enjoying her sleeping and calm form. Alexi was being tortured by Ilya as he chased him around the seats in the waiting area. “Ilya, I will shoot you in the foot if you don’t stop.” Ilya pouted, “Alexi, papa is mad at me.” Alexi’s lips curled up into a wicked smile, “Papa rules the roost, tatti.” Ilya nodded and Alexi hugged him around the knees. Ilya was amused, “This is true.” Alexi nodded, ‘This we know.” 

Alexi was just like Ilya in tempermant. He looked like them both but he was so much more relaxed than Maxim. Lilly was still too young but she seemed sweet as pie. Maxim kissed her golden head of curls. “Papasha! I love you!” Maxim smiled, “I love you, Alexi.” Ilya moved closer pulling him to him, “I love you, Maxi.” Maxim rolled his eyes and turned his head away, “Whatever, idiot.” Ilya kissed him once, twice, thrice, “Stop looking so handsome or I’ll have to ravage you.” “Not in front of our children!” “Why not? This is life, da?” “You are an animal.” “And you are my owner. Woof.” Maxim did chuckle at that, “I want to go home.” “Me too.”

They got on the plane and Alexi was quiet as he read his books and Lilly drank her milk and stayed in Maxim’s arms. Ilya looked at his family, “I hear Zevka can see now.” Maxim had received the call from Armin and had left their hotel to head to the church down the street. He had lit so many candles, prayed so much, gave charity in three fold, all of it in hopes of somehow lessening Armin’s pain. “I want to see him.” Ilya nodded, “I want to see you in bed.” “ILYA!” Ilya chuckled, “They are children! They don’t understand!” “You are a child!” Maxim stared at him and then Ilya blew him a kiss, “Every day with you is a dream, zolostka. Every second is a pleasure and every word is a promise. Ya lyublyu tebya.” Maxim blushed and looked away. 

When they landed they were all starving and wanted to head to the little Russian restaurant that just opened up. Both Maxim and Ilya wanted to take their kids to Russia soon but it was dangerous with the fighting. They thought of the hard winters and Lilly being so young. They sat down and the owners knew them, a nice couple who’d recently moved. They had brought their parents and they had young kids that Lilly and Alexi played with after eating. They were doing fair but it was all up in the air, “We can’t keep just breaking even. It’s...we need to pay for the legal fees and the visa fees. We need to bring others here and hopefully, we can build a little Russia with American freedoms.” 

Ilya nodded, drinking his tea slowly, “I agree, we should do something to help. We are here as immigrants, too. We need to make a way as well.” Maxim sensed Ilya’s intentions like a second soul moving along his own, “We will speak more about this at our home.”

*

Outside Maxim put the kids in the car, “Don’t make promises to people about things we know nothing about!” Ilya rolled his eyes, lopsided smile, “Maxi, you know we were heading there anyway.” “We are guests here. We are here because we have people who view us as family! We are not permanent!” Ilya scoffed, “We are permanent, Maxi. But, we are also vulnerable. We have two children now. We can’t just expect them to take care of us, we have to be willing to take care of them.” “Ilya...we must wait for the right time.” Ilya opened the door, “The time is now, Maxi. They’re going to come and when they do we need options.”

***************

Zev was waking up from a nap and he wanted his Vati. He wanted Armin and then he wanted his chocolate milk and to go look at Gisela. He also thought the power rangers sounded good, too. “Vati!” He grabbed onto his legs and held on, “Vati, I want chocolate milk and to cuddle with you.” Zev kept squeezing till Armin pulled him up. He was stiffer than normal and he buried his face into his neck. This actually wasn’t Armin. It was Maxim and this had happened a lot. He always thought he was Armin because he couldn’t really see. 

Maxim took him to the kitchen and got his milk. He carried him around pouring it and then he took him into the living room where he was going to sit with him while he drank his milk and possibly looked at or listened to the power rangers that was blaring currently. When he sat down Ilya walked inside and tilted his head. Maxim shook his head. They figured that something had happened and his sight had not improved as much as they all thought. They’d just continue with how they had been.

Zev thought his vati smelled funny, like oily foods and powdered sugar. But, they hadn’t cooked anything for dinner yet, it had oils in it normally, and that’s not what lunch was so what gives? He pulled back and moved his hair out of his face, “Vati, you smell funny.” He went still and Maxim didn’t know what to say but Zev started to cry, “Vati! Did you hurt your eye?” He touched it and Maxim’s stomach dropped. He felt insecure and he didn’t want to lash out at one of his most beloved people, “It’s so pretty. Will my eyes change like that? Vati, how did you do that?! I think it’s NEATO!” Maxim stared, “Zevka, I’m not your vati.” “OH MAXI! THIS IS WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE?! YOU LOOK JUST LIKE VATI!” He wrapped his little arms around Maxim’s neck and hugged him, “I love you, Maxi. I think you're just as pretty as vati. I wish I had neato eyes like that!”

Maxim hugged him and almost lost himself for a moment. Ilya sat down, “Zevka,” his voice was so deep, “look at your uncle Ilya.” Zev did and smiled, “YOU HAVE RED HAIR! Just like Tuvia and Dedka! Look at your eyes! You have greeb eyes, red hair and…...little spots, freckles?” “I do, Zevka.” Zev smiled, “Maxi has neato eyes!” Ilya was loving every second of this because he loved Maxim’s eyes and he wanted him to love them, “You should see Alexi. He has eyes that are two colors.” “NYET!” “DA!” Alexi came over and Zev was amazed. He was amazed and he was happy to see more of his family.

*************

Maxim was checking on Lilly and the other girls when Ilya put his arms around his waist, “I love you.” He kissed his neck and Maxim knew where this was going, “Ilya.” Ilya pressed more kisses to his soft skin and held him tighter, “Stop.” Maxim’s stop wasn’t even convincing him. Ilya opened his eyes, “You want me to?” Maxim didn’t reply. He spun him around in his arms and their lips were barely touching, just heavy breathing. Ilya nicked forward a few times while Maxim played hard to get, “Not in this room.” Ilya looked at Maxim’s lips, “Deal.” 

He pulled him into the walk in closet and pushed him against the wall. Ilya’s hands moved from the front of his hips to the back where he gripped Maxim’s ass and growled into his mouth while Maxim pulled at his bottom lip and his hands held his face. Maxim pulled back, panting. He then moved to Ilya’s neck. Ilya’s hands moved up and down his ass and lower back, “Zolostka, you resisted me but look how you are now.” Maxim pulled his hair and looked him in the eye, “Shut up, idiot.” He attacked him and Ilya smirked, “I think it’s my turn.” Maxim chuckled, “I’m not your woman.”

Ilya quickly pulled at the belt buckle on Maxim’s leather pants as they kissed hotly, breath ragged, mouths open, teeth and tongue. Maxim was groaning and moaning slightly while Ilya merely grunted. 

Ilya had Maxim’s cock in his hand, rubbing, while he pressed his face against his cheek and watched as Maxim’s mouth opened sweetly. He made such pretty noises and Ilya chuckled, “You sound so pretty Maxi.” “Shut up, idiot.” Ilya licked the side of his face, whispering tauntingly, “Now, what’s the fun in that?”

Maxim turned to kissed him passionately, their lips, their tongues, all of it moving together as he started to slouch down the wall, “Ilya?” Maxim looked into his eyes, “I’m going to suck you off.” Ilya’s breath hitched, “You are, Maxi?” “Yeah,” he pushed him back and then onto the couch in the giant closet, “But, you can’t touch.” Ilya frowned, “Oh, Maxi. That’s not fun.” Maxim opened his fly and pulled his cock out, “Don’t touch,” he paused to look pointedly, “or I’ll bite.” Ilya’s breath hitched, “So cruel, Maxi.” 

When they finished Ilya wanted more and Maxim hinted that they might take up another round that night. Lilly and Gisela and Aviva were still in their pack and play but now sound asleep. Ilya picked Lilly up and kissed her, “She looks a lot like you.” Maxim looked at them, “I think she looks like her Tatti.”

Ilya smiled, “This is the happiest life. I never thought I’d be this happy.”

**************

Mila came down the hallway and saw Mike, “Daddy, I wanna ride horses.” Mike was dirty, “Okay baby. Let’s go.” “Why are you so dirty?” “Uncle Eren.” She giggled and he picked her up, “I love you.” She kissed his cheek, “I love you, too.” He carried her down the hall and then they heard Hanji, “Han?” She was taking her jacket off, “Miky?” “Come ride with us.” She paused, “You know….I,” “Momma! Please!” Hanji sighed, “Okay.” Mike kissed her, “Love you, momma.” He chuckled and she grinned, “Whatever, big daddy.”

Hanji and Mike rode with Mila between them along the property, “Nothing like Maria.” Mike said and Hanji nodded, “Yeah, it’s great. It’s home.” His horse was near hers and it reached over and bumped necks with it, “Our horses are lovers.” Hanji reached over and took his hand, “But not like us. We’re the coolest.” He snorted, “Look at our baby girl.” Mila rode before them on a white horse with grey spots towards the back of it’s legs and hind. Her was braided elaborately, himmel blue ribbon in it still. She was magnificent. Hanji and Mike admired her, “She’s a queen.” Mike loved her so much, “And Levi was right to pick that color for her.” Hanji hummed, “He’s right about a lot of things.”

***************

_Quiet, so quiet that it unnerved all who heard it. It was hot, so steamy that the ground sometimes was distorted by waves of heat. **Whistling…….BAM **and the rubble was everywhere.****_

Hanji covered her ears, rocks and dust all over her in the small concrete hallway of the hospital. There was man on the ground, blood spewing from his neck, it went over her shoes. _**BAM**_ “NURSE! NURSE!” Someone pulled on her legs and she tripped on stones.

There was a _ting, ting, ting_ of metal pans falling on the once polished stone floor. She pushed into a room and Levi’s hands were still, controlled, his eyes wide, and all around him on the floor was blood puddling from the table of people who he was trying to save. His serum, once again, was long gone. He was covered in spray as the artery was slowly closed, the patient was gasping for breath. She moved to clamp and there, outside, was the rumbling of tanks, the falling of bombs, and the sounds of the jets moving past. They had to move.

They ran the carts and stretchers outside, Levi on one side, Hanji on the other. He pushed bags and supplies in the trucks to the side, “LOAD AS MANY AS YOU CAN! LEAVE WHAT YOU MUST!” He was wearing white, blue, green. All muted pastels, their warmth long gone. She wore white, blue, green. All in classic styles, their colors stark against her olive skin. _Whistling, high pitch sudden squEEEECHlike a screaming firecracker_ Levi moved forward tackling her to the hard ground as white dust went _swoosh, pfumph!_ over them. 

There was screaming. Blood curdling screeching and when Hanji and Levi looked around them there it was: _fire._ People were burning. The city was burning. Levi touched Hanji’s hand, “Deutschland brent.” (Germany burns.)

There was a little girl, the sun was sinking, who stood on the horizon holding an empty bird cage. It didn’t make sense but it was there, “Momma!” Hanji’s heart broke and then _Whistling, swoosh, pfuhmp!_

*************

In there room, [Levi ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/14/49/46/144946ae3aa72dec6a3dbd6278412727.jpg)was leaned against the wall by the window when [Hanji ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/6c/53/64/6c536488c8c0ddb9737b0b8005f54a65.jpg)walked inside from a shower. She stood near the window, the moon was so bright but the flames still raged on. Levi’s eyes were wet, “That little girl,” “No, please don’t talk about it.” “I thought I lost you.” “I know,” she wiped her eyes, “I thought I lost myself there among those flames.” He’d been cut off from her and the bombs kept falling.

He moved forward, took her face in his hands and kissed her. He pulled back but kept their foreheads pressed together. She was crying, shaking. “What are we doing here?” His voice was so shaky, so desperate. She echoed him, “I don’t know.” He let out a small choking noise, “What are we doing here?” They kissed, “I don’t know.” He pressed his lips to hers and inhaled. She pulled at his shirt and then pulled back, “We’re so fucked up.” He gave a small, short laugh, “So fucked up. Just a little girl who only ever wanted to save lives and use science to do it.” 

She chuckled shakily, broken, “Just a boy who only ever wanted someone to save him.” They kissed again and it was desperate, heady. He ran his hands through her hair. He smiled, it was so broken and sad, “Just a small town girl. Livin' in a lonely world. She took the midnight train. Goin' anywhere.” His voice was raspy from all the smoke and dust. She laughed shortly, “Just a city boy. Born and raised in South Detroit. He took the midnight train. Goin' anywhere.” He pulled her against him. He looked out the window, closed his eyes and then, “I hate that I can only be with you when we come to places like this. You don't visit Maria enough.” She held him tightly.

“Come home.” He begged, his voice fading out, he was losing it. “I need you and Mila and Mike. Please, come home.” She pressed a kiss against his neck, “No, it’s just not possible. We’ll just have to keep on meeting in war torn countries.” “This is fucking Germany.” “And look at it. It’s like WWII with the amount of bombing.” “I love you.” “I love you, too.” He pushed her on the bed, “Don’t take all the covers.” She laughed, “I will take them all.” “You and Eren, I swear!” She smiled, “Do you think Mila and Nikko would make a good couple?” 

Levi tched, “Shitty glasses, kids are kids. Let it alone.” He lifted his scotch to finish it, “Eww I don’t want to sleep with you and you have scotch breath.” He turned to her and walked over with the scotch still in his mouth. She squirmed, “No!” It was warning but fearful. He smirked and then wrestled her into submission, forcing the scotch into her mouth. She swallowed and then hit him sharply on the arm, “MIDGET!” He chuckled, “Your lips still taste like peaches.” “Shut up.” He cocked his head to the side, “Did I get to you, precious?” His voice mocking and taunting. She liked old Levi, raw Levi, “Maybe.” 

He put the glass down and then laid down next to her, “But, I think Nikko is in love with Mila.” Levi rolled his eyes sighing exasperatedly, “I think he’s five and she’s eight. I think they’ll do a lot more before even thinking like that.” “She says she’s going to marry you.” He chuckled deviously, “Eren would cut her.” Hanji snorted, “Actually, yeah.” “He’s…..my ahuvi. If Nikko is her’s one day then so be it. If he’s not, then so be it. Stop trying to make a world where we kind of end of up together.” 

He said it and she pulled back, “Good night.” He frowned, “Shitty glasses.” It was a mumble and she turned over, “Might not have had the effect you wanted.” He said cockily and smirking. She bit, “Why?” “Because I can see your fine ass now.” She reached back and popped his arm, “Do you treat Eren like this?” He chuckled, “All the time. My husband is a bambi. He’s fine as hell. I should verbally objectify him more.”

********************

Levi kissed her goodbye and it was sad. She got on her flight to head home and he was left in Atlanta waiting for David to bring him home. The Smiths were all sick and Eren was helping out at home so he couldn't come. Flu, damn. It seemed that their kids were unharmed and he wondered if the serum had anything to do with it. David appeared through the crowd so he left his thoughts in the back of his mind, “Ach,” they hugged, “I missed you and love you.” David smiled and they went to the car to head home. 

David was very quiet, “David, what gives?” “Nothing.” “David?” “Do you…” David sighed, “always kiss her? Don't you think it's a little…” “We're not like that. It's not. I get what you're saying but, we know each other so much better than other people do.” “Eren wouldn't like it.” “Eren wouldn't care.” That was a lie. He would. Fuck, why was he doing this? “Are you upset?” David shrugged, “It's not proper.” “Oh yes,” Levi sighed, “you're all about what is and isn't proper.”

David sighed, “Brother, I know you miss her. It's okay. But she's happy and everything is working just fine.” “You know, I'd rather you kept your opinion on this to yourself because I'm really not in the mood. Hanji and Mike should be with us. They are family. That's the end of the story. If they were here we could keep an eye on them. Don't act like that's paranoia. In these last five years we've had two scandalous elections where Rod Reiss has been named VP. Our trade deals are fucked and now countries have embargoes against us, and let's not talk about the mysterious plethora of questionable taxes I pay. We pay taxes for being Jewish.” “It isn't for that.” “It. Fucking. Is.” Levi was livid and David went silent because he wanted to leave it alone. David was a conservative. Levi was liberal. They could talk any other countries’ politics but not this one. America was really fucked up right now and didn't seem to be getting better.

****

When they got home it weighed on him about Hanji more and more. He found Eren in their bathroom standing, lost. Levi’s mouth had a way of just getting him into trouble when it came to Eren, “I kissed Hanji.” Eren blinked, brow furrowed, “Are you….telling me you cheated? Kissing isn’t really that….bad or out of the ordinary.” Levi stood frozen and his mouth somehow helped, “At the airport. I kiss Hanji sometimes.” Eren’s face cleared up and he rolled his eyes, “Neshama, I don’t have time for this. The Smiths are ruining my life. If you kiss Hanji I don’t care. She’s Hanji.” He said turning to look in their drawers for something. Then he froze, “Are you leaving me?” Levi looked sick and Eren smirked, “With that face I’d say no. OK.” He grabbed the thermometer and some alcohol wipes and put them against Levi’s chest. He kissed him, “I love you. Glad you’re back.”

**********

They were absolute monsters, all of them. “Howld me.” Yoni coughed all over Levi trying to crawl into his arms. Tuvia was crying and had been for hours. Aviva was fussy and Armin had made a little cocoon around her and him in the bed. Erwin was stressed out so badly they had him sedated but he was the king of requests and pity and Levi wanted to strangle him. Eren was handling things well, ‘How are you doing so well?” Levi asked and Eren shrugged, “I treat them like animals.” Nikko appeared and Zev had vomit all over him, “Zev got sick.” Nikko looked pitiful. He’d been with him the entire time so that Zev might have a chance at not catching this flu. Levi sat up, “We’ve got to go to the hospital.” Erwin whined, ‘No!” Levi turned around while pulling Zev’s shirt off and instructing Nikko to go into the bathroom with him, ‘YES! THERE ARE TOO MANY OF YOU AND YOU ALL NEED FLUIDS! ZEV AND AVIVA ARE WHO I AM MOST CONCERNED ABOUT!” Erwin’s bottom lip shook, “What about me? Am I your favorite? “ Levi stared, “Yeah, whatever. You're my favorite.” Eren gasped, “Scandalous.”

The Smiths were admitted to the hospital and Vadimas spoke with Eren and Levi on the side, “Zev is in the ICU. Precautions, you know. Aviva is also there. She is very ill. You got them all here just in time.” Levi frowned, “Eren, you should check Zev because…I’ll cry if I do.” Eren smiled and kissed him, “I know, Neshama.” Vadimas looked at his chart, “You know what?” Levi hummed, “Hm?” “I think Hannah will be returning shortly.” Levi felt sick, “No? She just went home.” He checked his watch, “She probably landed an hour ago.” Vadimas shrugged, “It’s just a feeling. Let me check on the beautiful Smith family.” Levi went with him. Armin was pitiful and his bed was next to Erwin. Tuvia and Yoni were in there with them per request and the entire room was their own. 

Levi smoothed Yoni’s hair back, “He looks just like you.” He said to Erwin who smiled, “I love him so much.” Levi smiled, “I love every piece of you, einayim sheli.” Erwin smiled, “Oh, Lee.” Armin coughed, “Someone love me.” Erwin and Levi both smiled, “We do. But, Eren, he’s in love with you.” Armin smiled a bit, his fever very high, “I love him the most. Make sure my babies are okay, Velvel.” Vadimas got a report from a nurse, “Well, you are our first confirmed case of this new flu that’s going to, well, kill a lot of people.” Levi’s stomach sank, “What?!” Vadimas sighed, “No use in sugar coating it. This is just the first stage.”

Tuvia threw up and Levi jerked forward to help him, “Get out, Levi.” Vadimas was strong, “Get out and go to the showers.” Levi looked at his family, “GO NOW!” Levi was pushed out and more nurses were coming down the hall, “This way Mr. Ackermann.” He was taking to quarantine and forced inside. “Where is Eren!?” A woman grimaced, “He’s with the children in the ICU.” “IS HE OKAY?” She was shaking as they turned on the ventilation system, “He has the healing blood, right?” They tried to keep that a secret but some staff knew it as rumor, “Yes.” “Then in my medical opinion, he’ll be fine. But you, sir, maybe not.” “I HAVE TO CALL SOMEONE FOR MY CHILDREN!” She hit the button, “I’ll see what can be done. You have to stay here for 48 hours.”

Levi’s world was colliding, “WHAT?!”

The door shut and a siren went off.

***************

Levi was let out after two days. Sasha and Connie had taken Judah, Gisela, Ezra, and Nikko to their home with the help of the hospital. Sasha and Connie were together in some way, they all still had no idea how that was working. But, Sasha was pregnant and she wasn’t ideal to keep the kids. David and Mikasa were now at the hospital, sick. Ketia was with Sasha and Connie as well. Fuck, five kids at once. Well, he’d been taking care of eight sometimes. Jean and Marco were still traveling with their kids and Eren had used his time in the ICU to call and tell them to come back home and stay with their parents. Maxim and Ilya were in Montgomery with Hannes and their kids. Zad was just admitted with the flu.

Levi stopped by and looked at Eren through the glass. He was holding Zev in his arms. “Neshama….Zevka…” He shook his head and Levi wanted to scream, “Eren?” He shook his head. Zev might be dying. “Aviva isn’t happy but she’s feisty.” Levi wiped his hand down his face, “Ahuvi, get the blood we banked here for our kids and….find the closest match to Zev. Do a transfusion.” Eren stared, “It’s Gisela.” “What?” “I thought about it. I’ll do it. I was scared to go through with it.” Eren kissed the glass and Levi did too, “I love you.” Zev moved his head towards him, “Levi? Daddy and vati?” “They’re going to be fine, Zevka.” “I love you.” “I love you, too.” Eren nodded, “I have a good feeling.”

***

Levi walked in the house and noticed it had been cleaned. A note was on the door from Sasha and Connie, “We knew.” He smiled, “You did.” The landline rang and he noticed there were many missed calls, “Who the fuck?” He picked up, “Levi?”

Mikes voice shocked him, “Mike?”

His voice was ragged, “Been calling for hours.”

“Why?”

“Mila and Hanji...they’re coming to Maria. It isn’t safe here for them.”

“What?!”

“I gotta take care of some stuff. I have to go somewhere.”

“Where the fuck are you going? No, don’t go anywhere. Talk to me! You can’t send them here! There’s an outbreak!”

Mike inhaled, “You’ve always been like a brother to me.” 

“Stop, Mike...I’m not a good person.” He was so guilty.

“You can take care of my wife and my little girl. I trust you. I know you’d do right be me and mine.”

He didn’t want them here and he didn’t want Mike to leave so he said it, “I slept with Hanji.” He said it and he prepared for the bottom to fall out, for the leeve to break. But, then there was nothing.

“I know you did.”

“You hate me.”

Mike chuckled, “No, because,” Levi would never forget this moment, “it wasn’t like that. It didn’t mean that. You and Hanji, y’all got a different relationship entirely. I’m not gunna lie, I was jealous at first but I just got it one day. Erwin and I….we have a different thing than you and him. It’s the woods. But, anyway…” He sounded choked up, “I need you to promise me you’ll take care of them.” 

Levi was sick, “I will. Don’t do this, Mike. Don’t go anywhere. Wait for us to get better and we can handle whatever it is.”

“Take care of my little girl, Levi. Make my wife smile again. Take care of them!”

The line went dead.

Levi screamed and screamed. _What the fuck is going on!?_


	156. Tiny Timeline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little where we were and where we are and some new stuff so this will hopefully make sense of where the next chapter is going to begin.

**August 2015**

Eren, Levi, Armin, and Erwin all meet at Maria.

**2016**

Mila is born. Bellamy is born. 

Eren and Levi are engaged. Armin and Erwin are engaged. Mike and Hanji are engaged. 

**2017**

Eren and Levi get married. 

**2018**

Armin and Erwin get married.

Mikasa and David get married.

**Maria 2019**

Nikko, Keita, and Zev are born.

The deal is made with one eye.

Jean and Marco get married.

****

**2020**

Rod Reiss elected Vice President. His plight for the presidency was cut short due to a family emergency. His running mate is an establishment politician.

Krista and Ymir give birth to a son named Sebastian.

Ezra, Yoni, Cesare, Alexi born.

Due to civil unrest, Washington DC, New York, and Boston are divided into ghettos.

The rising terror in Denmark begins to draw attention away from the issues at home and a tense peace is brokered between races by Rod.

**2021**

Russia and Ukraine go to war. Japan and China at war. Poland attacks the Baltics and Balkans. Lithuania once again flies a Russian flag.

Hannahlore, Bianca, and Tuvia are born.

Angela Merkel of Germany is assassinated by members of the alt-right party the AfD (Alternative for Deutschland (Germany)) 

**2022**

Taxes increase for those not affiliated with the main church of the republican party “Holy Mother of Rose Lutheran Universal Church.”.

The depiction of Mother Mary is printed on coins. It looks like Marilyn Reiss and Zad goes back to Russia for a short while.

Lilly, Gio, Judah, Gisela, Aviva are born.

**Maria 2023**

Quotas are strictly enforced in regards to immigration. Only 10,000 are allowed a year and only from the following countries: France, Germany, England, Sweden, Finland, Ukraine, Russia, and Australia. 

Jews, Muslims, and Buddhists are capped at 1,000 total.

Israel officially cuts ties with the UN and so do other countries. It becomes nothing more than the Arab league and a few post Soviet Union states with Russia running the show.

Mass suicides around the world as the stock market plummets.

**Maria 2024**

An outbreak of a new flu kills nearly 100 million people worldwide. The population of America is only 310 million but suffers the greatest loss of nearly a quarter of its population.

The flu is called The Great Destroyer and is first called that by Erwin Smith in a letter to the government presented by Krista Lenz to her father. He converts the school into a research facility with all faculty and students working under the watchful eye of Dr. Ackermann and Dr. Zacharias.

A vaccine is made by Dr. Levi Ackermann and Dr. Hanji Zacharias.

it is eventually seized and destroyed for being too volatile.

A new vaccine is created by the Lenz corporation RW and sent worldwide by the end of the year.

**2025**

The death toll worldwide is 300 million people.

Delayed elections in the states are scrapped by an interim council that re-elects the current president and VP.

RW is credited with saving the world from the flu. A small mention is made of Dr. Ackermann and Dr. Zacharias but it is merely a footnote. Two Jewish doctors who forgot protocol to save their family. They record their findings and their story and are awarded honors in Sweden, Ukraine, Russia, Israel, France, Denmark, and other countries for their bravery. They receive a Nobel peace prize and the world knows that RW had nothing to do with it. Israel builds a monument. They were sent batches of the Ackermann/Zacharias serum before it was destroyed and their population suffered minimally. This does not help ease tensions in the middle east. Terror attacks intensify. Erwin has their children’s beds moved to the panic room.

Fran, Owen, and Mike disappear.

Mila and Hanji move in full time back at the Smith House.

Hanji won’t take her ring off and she wont’ talk about it.

Mila becomes more attached to Levi.

**November 2025**

The seventh gulf war breaks out.

Massive food shortages from lack of agrarian laborers forces entire countries to their knees. 

David is pulled into the Israeli service along with Levi. They spend five months working on a top secret mission.

Armin heads to Germany to lobby for a peace agreement between Egypt, Israel, Germany, and the US on behalf of the Smith Peace and Philanthropy organization and educational institutions everywhere.

He and Erwin write two books on the subject and are the 6th married couple to ever received Nobel prizes. 

**2026**

Mikasa Lavie becomes a household name with her fashion empire finding a hold in the haute couture world and the orthodox and ultra religious. She starts a campaign against fast fashion and makes clothes for peoples in war torn areas that help keep them healthy and also allow girls to go to school on their periods when toiletries are not available.

She regularly donates proceeds in their entirety to charities, runs a foundation for peaceful exchanges in design, and is a loner whose indifference to fame makes her even more appealing. 

Eren’s pioneering in the veterinary field lead to many break throughs: Grains are made that are able to resist many diseases killing off the majority of the cattle. New vaccines are available the prevent the flu from developing in livestock without building up resistance to antibiotics. New ways to house chickens keep the industry cleaner and healthier. A new fertility treatment improves birth rates and creates genetically healthier animals. Dogs and other service animals are able to take the serum they made for the Israeli soldiers when out of missions resulting in less casualties among four legged soldiers. Eren is regularly the target of death threats from terrorist organizations that profit off of desperate farmers in their contested areas.

Marco wins prizes for journalism. His newspaper is considered radical by the government. 

Marco does four months in Russia on the front lines reporting on the Chinese advancement in the oil fields. He pens a manifesto of sorts and it sells out among the youth in Moscow and abroad.

Putin offers the Kirschstein-Bodt family duel citizenship. Marco is offered the opportunity to report on anything he wants. He is now a popular journalist known for his gritty writing and raw honesty. He regularly goes undercover but has somehow captured the hearts of Russian speaking readers with his pieces about Chinese war crimes and his sweet adopted Ukrainian son. 

Marco is labeled a Marxist in America and Ymir regularly subscribes to his new independent newspaper L'Unità and makes donations. Yvonne and Oulu make him a silent partner to keep their paper afloat. It works out well for all. Many readers see his foot prints in pieces and read both magazines. Bellamy is the inspiration for another children’s book series and “Mila and Bellamy: a wonderful and friendly adventure” becomes a classic. Both Mila and Bellamy are in real like inseparable.

Jean regularly takes Cesare with him on painting adventures. He’s always working and now worth a fortune. They live behind the Ackermann’s and Smith’s and pay their own way.

Jean’s art pieces through the time of the plague, The Great Destroyer zeitgeist, are regarded as the most influential and real pieces of the time. They are coveted and hung in galleries around the world. They are worth millions and it is in honor of the millions that lost their lives that he dedicates them. Cesare shows talent at a young age for painting and he takes him on as an apprentice.

Maria university holds its first presidential election since 1856 to keep things fair. Erwin Smith is elected unanimously and opens more departments in the school for counter terrorism research and medicine. The school flourishes and the applications from foreign scholars grows out of control. 

**July and August 2026**

The entire extended family heads to Africa to help temper an outbreak of Ebola that has never been encountered before.


	157. Nirgendwo in Afrika

Hanji was covered in sweat and Mila was on the tile, “Momma, I’m so hot.” She really was and Hanji leaned over and placed a cold press on her. Nikko was in the chair reading, shirt stuck to him as well, “Hanji?” Hanji looked at his sweet little face. He was now looking even more like Levi with his slight bone structure. He was precious, absolutely precious, “What Nikko?” She smiled and he moved in the chair, “When are we all going to be together again?” Hanji decided to be more fun than sad, “WELL YOU KNOW,” she threw her hands up and Mila looked at her. Tuvia was asleep next to her and he woke up, “Whenever Maxi and Ilya get back then we'll head to France and there we'll stay for a little bit till Marco and Jean come from Italy. Then, when we get back to Maria we'll all have dinner at nonni and nonno’s house. That's what I'm waiting on, _PASTA!_ ” Hanji smiled and Nikko nodded his head, “I love you Hanji.” She ran over to pinch his cheeks, “SAY IT AGAIN!” She couldn't get enough of him. He giggled softly, “I love you!” “Oh! THAT IS FANTASTIC!” Hanji hugged Nikko and kissed him all over his face.

When Levi came in he was holding a screaming Judah, “Aviva and Judah are going to kill me.” “Are they still fighting?” “They might actually hate each other.” “Where is Gisela?” “Where do you think?” “With Zev.” Hanji smiled and Levi snorted, “Shut up.” “Is she upset her brother is upset?” “Yes but she’s crying it out with Zev.” “Why did you bring Judah?” “TO PUNISH HIM.” Hanji made an “ekkk” face, “Well, what happened to Aviva?” “The Smiths are taking care of their princess. She bit him. Somehow, in their legal minds, it was justified. They paint my son like a budding felon.” Hanji snorted, “He’d be a handsome felon. Maybe they’re onto something?”

Levi was not amused, “Aviva and Gisela are inseparable but Judah and Gisela even more so. This is going to be a problem. I can feel it. Zev just wants to keep them all happy. Ugh.” “He is so sweet.” “Like sugar.” Levi replied and Hanji laughed. Levi smirked, “I’m fucking obsessed with them all.” Mila walked over to hold on to his legs, “I love you, Levi. Can we get a fan or something?” Levi ran his hand along her hair, “Yeah, sweetness, we’ll get a fan.” “Can I come to the field with you?” “No, sweetness. You could get infected. I have to stay for almost two days before I can come back home and see you.” She pouted and he smiled more.

******

Hanji and Levi cooked dinner and then Eren came inside covered in dirt, “Kiss me, Neshama.” Levi’s eye widened, “No, go take a bath!” Eren started to chase him around wanting him to kiss him while Levi uncharacteristically screeched and all of the children laughed. Zev was recovering from a cold and had had a nightmarish experience a few nights ago that nearly put everyone in the grave. He was recovering well and as always, was the delight of the family with his little pranks, big smile, and rambunctious personality. He would carry Gisela around and tell her stories while Judah followed behind him because he couldn’t hold both. Aviva would follow, too, but somehow ended up in his arms more often than not.

Aviva and Judah were mortal enemies and exact opposites. Judah was black leather and stark white and skulls. Aviva was a pink powderpuff cake of ruffles, ribbons, bows, lace, everything. She was dressed in nothing but creams, pinks, and soft golds. Armin treated her like a china doll. Eren did the same with Gisela but she wore mostly white, black, and gold. She was a modern baby, as Eren told Levi one night, “I want her to be fierce and sweet but also like marble.” Levi merely stared, “Okay, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” “LEVI!” “Do what you want but I want to dress her like a french princess.” “Exactly,” Eren had smiled, “she’ll be an upper east side parisian Jewish dream of class and beauty.” Levi snorted, “Okay, whatever. She’s the jewel of our eyes.” “Really she is.” “Ugh but Aviva is so pretty, too.” “I KNOW! WE HAVE SUCH PRETTY KIDS!”

Erwin thought Aviva hung the moon and the stars. Levi loved to watch him with his daughter because he’d simply keep her in his lap while working and kiss on her, talk to her, he’d hold her little foot in his hand while the other was writing. She had him wrapped around her little finger and even Armin was jealous sometimes. Armin was just as bad. They called her princess and Armin would often dress them all in similar outfits. His entire family looked like they were always ready for family portraits. The Smiths were clearly the upper crust family.

Armin came inside, dressed in a lightweight long sleeved white cotton tunic with little blue shorts that had little tassels on them. His hair was so long and slightly curled and his small cat eye was sweet. He’d been off that day and had gone to the city and helped file paperwork for the organization. “Aviva smiled, “Vati!?” Armin smiled, “Yes, princess?” “Can I do makeup?” “After dinner.” “I wanna do makeup!” Gisela said and Armin kissed both of them on the top of their heads, “Of course, sweethearts.” 

Erwin came in shortly after him smiling, “When we go to France I’ve arranged a tour around to all the museums and attractions that are known to be great for kids!” Erwin kissed Armin, “Baby.” Armin smiled and kissed him back, “Daddy.” Levi rolled his eyes, “You Smiths make me sick.” Armin giggled, “You Ackermanns are just jealous.” Judah pouted and turned in his seat, “Aba! Hold me!” Levi stared at his child and his heart warmed, “Okay.” He picked his equally disgusted looking child up and started the water to boil, “What are you makin’?” “Pasta.” “Good.” Judah liked Yiddish and it made Levi very happy to speak with him in it. Nikko prefered French, Gisela German, and Ezra spoke Hebrew mostly. They all could speak pieces of everything including the other members of the family’s languages like Russian, and Italian. Ukrainian was also going well. 

Ezra was drawing with Donner beneath his chair and Yoni had a book about the constitution open. Tuvia played with blocks, his interest in architecture was amusing to them all. He was reserved, a loner, he did what he wanted when he wanted, and he was stuck to Zad like glue. “Daddy, can I see the buildings?” Erwin smiled and kissed Tuvia on the head, “As many as you want. You can take pictures. Maybe Cesare will draw some for you?” They were all missing their extended family. 

Because of Gisela’s blood being used to save Zev, Levi took a chance and studied his children's unique mutations. He made a rudimentary vaccine when Hanji arrived. Mila had fallen ill and was out in the ICU with Zev and Aviva while all the other children stayed quarantined at Connie and Sasha’s house till they moved into the Smith-Ackermann household. He had administered it to his family, his friends. It was a risk but it was their only chance. It paid off and for that he thanked God. He also noted that Connie and Sasha’s child now had immunities and he believed the serum did it. He was happy their little girl was alive and well but she did present an interesting set of hypotheses.

They sat down to eat and Erwin kept Armin close. Levi did the same with Eren. Life was too short and too precious. The plague had changed the world. There was no other way to put it. “Rod Reiss is running as VP under another politician.” Armin introduced the topic and the table groaned, “Not in front of the kids.” Eren said looking at Nikko. Nikko didn't eat meat so he had special vegetarian options that Hanji would whip up and make the other jealous. He put his fork down. Nikko couldn't stand tension, war, politics, none of it. Levi and Nikko were the same person and Eren had grown even more aware of that watching how Nikko acted. When he was bothered you could tell. He'd not developed to mask Levi had. “Nikko, you can eat in the living room if you want.” Nikko nodded and left, Judah moved and so did Gisela. They followed their older brother into the other room, sippy cups and gyro bowls of food in their hands. Aviva squirmed down from Erwin’s lap to follow. “Our pacifists have left and our rabble rousers remain. Yoni and Zev were active listeners. Tuvia always had a wiry glint as he listened to then. Mila wanted to join Nikko but she'd not leave the presence of Levi or Hanji. Ezra acted oblivious so they never could tell. 

“He’s running again and you know he went to talk to the PA.”

Erwin rolled his eyes, “The PA,” he spat, “What a joke.”

Eren moved the food on his plate, “Krista and Ymir stop by all the time and talk about how he’s actually not that bad of a guy.”

Levi’s anger flared, “He did the tax for non-christians.”Erwin looked at the table, “Let it go.” 

Levi slammed his fist down, “NO! No! Because that’s how it begins! A target on any minority group leads to the targeting of others. Look at their quotas! This is insane!”

They’d all agreed to never talk about their past. They kept the conversations alive with double speak and omissions. 

“Have you ever talked to that guy again?” Hanji asked Armin.

“Yes, he says it’s going to be worse soon. Surprise taxes, I guess.”

“The black quarter, Jewish quarter, they're fighting still but someone seems to have found out that Rosa Parks and MLK were Zionists so they're slowly getting rid of the SJP and BDD influence in Washington DC, Boston, and New York. The white section bumped up security and the others section are just procreating angrily. There is now a rumor the plague was started just for population control.”

“I think it's time we took a trip to Tennessee.” Eren said after Levis ghetto talk. Armin nodded, “I think we should do parents only, then kids.”

Erwin smiled, “Sounds great. Did that friend say anything about good places to stay? He's been before.”

“He said you'd be the one to ask.”

Erwin smirked and Eren looked like a cherry tomato, “Baba, are you overheating?” Eren stroked back Ezra’s hair, “Baba did just get really hot. Mila asked aba for a fan so hopefully he'll get one. You know, what Mila wants,” Ezra smiled, “Mila gets.” They all turned to look at Levi who sneered and tched, “Whatever. She's not a brat.” “Am I a brat, aba?” Ezra pouted and it hurt Levi’s heart, “Sometimes. Don't look at your aba like that. It isn't good for my heart. You want to hurt my heart?!” “No!” “Then stop looking at me like that. It's killing me! I want only the best for you. I love you! I'M OBSESSED WITH YOU!” Ezra laughed and smiled. 

Ezra finished his food while they talked and then he got up and hugged Levi, “Plaaaaaay with me!” Levi picked him up, “Okaaaaay.” Eren smiled so brightly, “I'll come play later.” Levi smirked, “No one asked you, brat.” Eren pouted, “Mean!” “Can daddy come play?” Erwin beamed, “Ah yes, the two best people can come play.” Armin kicked him under the table, “No play for you tonight.” “Aw baby!”

Armin made coffee and sat with Eren after Hanji went to bed. She was exhausted and Mila joined her, barely able to walk from sleep. 

“When we get back I want to do it.” Erwin said suddenly, “I want to destroy them.” Armin smirked, “I’ve been thinking.” “Yes?” “What if we tie the cult to Rod?” “That would be ideal, you know that.” “So, how?” “I don’t know. We’d have to move carefully.” “Ymir hates him. Krista, too.” “She goes by Historia now.” “Eren, shut the fuck up you know I hate that bitch.” Eren started to laugh, “Oh, no, I would never have guessed.” “I want her to go down, too.” ‘Armin!” “What!? Because she has a child you’re suddenly soft.” “Children do that.” Eren finished his coffee and stood up.

Armin was pissed, “Never forget, those who want to save humanity must sacrifice their own.” Eren sighed, “I think we shouldn’t involve them. Let the chips fall where they may.”

Armin followed Eren into the bedroom where he was going to change for bed. They closed the door and he looked at him, “I want you.” “Really? What’s with that.” “I don’t know. I think when we fight I just feel young again.” “Armin, we’re only 28.” “We have eight kids. We’re 128.” “Point made. Let’s fuck.” Armin pulled his clothes off, “Gotta be quick, we all share this fucking room.” Eren laughed, “Sorry that Africa wasn’t fucking decadent enough for you!” “Me bottom, you bottom? What’s happening?” “Uhhhh…” “I had a quickie today, I’ll bottom. Let me stretch again.” Eren smiled, “I fucking love you.”

Armin grabbed the lube, “You know, you could get hard….like now.” “What the fuck Armin that’s not something you can just make happen.” “AM I NOT PRETTY ENOUGH!” “MY DICK DOESN’T LIKE BEING YELLED AT!” “IT DOES! GET HARD, NOW!” “HURT ME!” “YOU’RE A MAGGOT!” “Wow, we’re cooking with gas now. Why the fuck am I so sick?” Armin pushed him on the bed and straddled him, “I don’t know but never change.” Armin stroked his cock while Eren hissed and leaned up to kiss his chest and suck his nipples. 

Armin slid Eren inside of him and started moving his hips, “I love you.” Eren smiled, kissing him sloppily, “I love you, too. Fuck, yes.” Armin kissed him, teeth and tongue tangling, “Fuck Eren.” Eren flipped them and lifted Armin’s legs up on his shoulder, “Oh, shit!” Eren loved fucking Armin with his cute little button nose, “I could just eat you, you’re so hot.” He nipped Armin’s nose and Armin laughed, “It’s normally so cute I could eat you, not hot.” 

He flipped them and started figure eight motions making Eren moan and groan. He moved his hands up the side of Armin’s toned body and closed his eyes enjoying his time with him. Armin worked him so well and they came together, sated and smiling. 

Armin was walking back into the small bathroom, “You already had a quickie so what was the point?” Armin snorted, “Two quickies, actually. I mean, Eren, really, when has that ever been enough.” Eren smirked, “Never. I’m foolish for asking.” “Yes, you are.”

They changed and went out to see their kids off to bed. It wasn’t that large of a house and Hanji and Mila had their own room. The parents had one and the eight kids had their own. Zev, however, was sleeping with Hanji in bed with her already. Erwin looked calm and accepting, “She said it was fine. She doesn’t mind and Mila and she are all alone in the big bed.” Armin worried his lip, “At least she sleeps near the window.” “Exactly, baby. I love you.” He kissed Armin and passed him Yoni who was drooling and passed out.

Armin laid Yoni down and Erwin put Tuvia next to him. They kissed them and then it was Aviva’s turn. She wanted to sleep with Gisela. Gisela wanted to sleep with her and and Judah. Judah wanted to sleep with Gisela and no one else. He pushed Aviva. Aviva cried. Judah screamed. The other woke up and got annoyed. Ezra and Nikko tried to make things better. Nikko took Judah and Ezra took Gisela. Aviva cried and then Yoni and Tuvia put her in between them. Finally they were asleep and the parents stressed out and tense.

Levi and Eren fell into the bed while Erwin typed away on his laptop at the desk. Armin wrapped his arms around his neck, “Daddy, i’s bed timies.” Erwin reached around to touch his face, “I know, I know, one more chapter.” Armin closed the laptop, “No. No more.” He kissed the side of his neck and pulled him to bed where they all settled in, “France is going to be a welcome reprieve.” “We need to do a renovation.” “Eren, I will fucking smother you.” “I lub yew, Levi!” “You might love me, but you sure as hell can’t hammer a nail.” Erwin and Armin were chuckling, “BURN!” “NESHAMA!”

************************

“Daddy! PUSH ME!” Erwin was in a short sleeve white cotton tshirt, tight navy slacks, and he wore golden aviators that reflected the sunlight. Armin wore a similar outfit, his shirt hanging off one shoulder, his beige hat shading his face as he wiped sticky mouths and hands from ice cream. Nikko needed to physically wash his or he'd never stop fidgeting so Marco took him and Bellamy to the bathrooms. Jean carried Gio on his shoulders feeding him cotton candy and Bianca played ball with Yoni, Ezra, and Tuvia. Cesare was drawing and Mila watched as she waited for Bellamy and Nikko to return. Judah, Aviva, and Gisela were all in the carnival style circle swing and demanding that Erwin pushed them “real fast.” He was eating it up. Levi and Eren were talking with a contractor and Hanji was in town doing whatever she wanted. 

They were all waiting for Maxim and Ilya to arrive so that they could all spend time together. Levi and Eren bought the floor of their apartment and we're having it renovated for more space. A three bedroom original would be kept but the other two three bed rooms were now available to all family members. With two members per room they would sleep 18. It still wasn't exactly enough but it would do. The Ackermann-Smiths made 12. The Kirschstein-Bodts 6. The Lavies 4, the Aristov-Nebetovs 4, and Zacharius 2. 28 immediate family members. Maybe one of those should be made into a 4 bedroom? Levi might kill Eren in the process. Until more room was made they lived in the 3 bedroom like squatters and spilled over into the other apartment that was not yet undergoing construction. 

Armin was the first to sense them. He looked up, listening to Aviva squeak as Erwin pretended to be a monster and get her. He saw Maxim’s eyes and knew something terrible had happened. He searched for Ilya, Alexi, and Lilly. He found them and sighed in relief. 

Maxim approached him, “We have to go to Russia.” “Why?” “We have no contact for days. We are worried.” “We can take Alexi and Lilly.” Maxim looked distraught, “If we don't come back, you are who we picked to be their guardians.” Armin felt winded, “You're coming back.” “I am afraid we might not, Arminka.” Ilya kissed Gisela who came running up from the swing set. Lilly went to play and so did Alexi while Ilya held Gisela, “Giselaka, how pretty you are.” “I missed you.” “I miss you as well, bubbeleh!” Ilya’s face read with controlled worry, “We stay the night, then go.” “Don't go!” Gisela cried hugging him tighter, “Please!” Ilya spun around and around, “Hold on, Gigi!’

***

Ilya rolled over to look at Maxim. Lilly was asleep with Alexi in the trindle portion of the bed. Maxim opened his eyes and rolled over to face him, “We have two beautiful children.” Ilya smiled, “Thay take after their papa.” Maxim kissed Ilya slowly, “Do you think they’d remember us if,” “Stop, Maxi, don’t do that.” “I feel it.” “I do, too.” “You should stay,” Maxim whispered, “stay and be safe, habibi.” Ilya ran his fingers through Maxim’s hair, “Maxim, I am so selfish. I will never not follow you. I’m not staying here and you can’t make me. You must have know yourself because you’d never have asked.” Maxim held his hand on his cheek, “Why?” “Because you’re selfish, too. And because here we have Armin and Armin will do for them like we would. We’re much better off than our parents ever were.”

***

The plane ride wasn’t that eventful but people were much more afraid. Many wore masks and there were special contamination centers that people had to go through though some were better than others. Even health becomes privatized after a scare. “I’ll go to the Tahor.” Maxim looked at Ilya, “The Tahor?” “Yes, the Israeli contamination centers. There’s never a line.” Maxim snorted, “Tahor, that’s a clever name.” “We’re a clever people.” “We’re a cursed people.” “Maxi! Are you claiming your blood!?” Maxim hit him, “I never said I wasn’t ethnically Jewish. But, I’m a christian. It’s more important to my identity.” He held the cross, the mezuzah he’d had made into something else, something more. 

They left into the city and saw it’s desolation. Some parts were fine, as they had been, others full of barracks and poverty. Maxim held Ilya’s hand, “Vlad won’t return my calls.” “I know. You’ve said.” “Don’t be an ass!” “Maxim, I’m being me. I’m being calm and realistic. We have never had reliable anything. This is probably a case of that.” “I want Lilly and Alexi to go to school here. I want options!” Ilya started to laugh, “Oh, God! Maxim, you want to save the world!” He doubled over and Maxim hit his arm, “SHUT UP YOU IDIOT!” 

Ilya was laughing so hard he had to wipe tears from his eyes, “I cannot! You are being such a Jew!” Maxim’s anger grew and he became more and more sour as Ilya smiled and picked at him. When they pulled up to the edge of the woods they paid the cab driver and then sat at the bus stop till he left, “Okay, let’s go.” They headed into the woods and started the familiar trail leading to their old home. Ilya a pulled rare yellow wild flower, a weed really, left over from summer from the ground and gave it to Maxim kissing him, “I love you, zolostka.” Maxim was so nervous about their homecoming and Ilya could tell. “It will be fine.” He said suddenly but Maxim gave him a disappointed face. Ilya jerked, opening his arms in mock placation, “It will be manageable.”

He pulled the branches back for Maxim and then looked behind them at the trail, listening to the sounds of the forest. He breathed their air in and felt like he’d come home. When he turned around Maxim was facing him, tears spilling over his bottom eyelashes, “Don’t look.” It was a whisper and Ilya kept eye contact with him, “Why, Maxi?” Maxim’s eyes were wide, he was terrified, he was breaking into pieces, “Don’t look, habibi. We need to go home.” “No,” Ilya moved forward pressing a kiss to his forehead, “we have to look for people like us. Survivors.” He looked around Maxim and it was nothing but white snow with large swipes, as if God had a paintbrush and had done this himself, of red blood all around the cabins with bodies lying face down, on their stomachs, on their back, on their sides, some without faces, all in the snow. He pulled Maxim to his chest, “I have to do this. But, you don’t have to look, Maxi. You went through enough.”

*

Ilya started checking pulses and noted that it must have been at least two days since the massacre. He started looking under the houses and found a few people here and there. They were scared, their eyes wide with fear. A few had laid among their dead friends and family in their hiding place. Bullets had managed to cut through and kill those in hiding. It was like WWII all over. A few kids, maybe 10, were found and their parents were either dead or missing. That’s what was weirder than normal. Children were taken but adults rarely were, “Most of them were young couples like you.” Daniel was still alive but barely. 

He told them they would need to move the families to another location. Maxim pleaded for them to try and move to Sweden with the other clan. They refused, “Jews have lived beyond the pale for years. This is our home. Siberia calls to our blood. We’ll not leave. Not like you two.” “At least move deeper into the forest, near the river!” “No, we will keep by the main land and remain where we have always.” Maxim’s rage had overcome him and he started a fight that left them even more splintered. Some chose to side with Maxim and the camp split. Daniel sputtered blood as he sang while they walked through the woods:

Katonti mikol hachasadim  
umikol ha'emet  
asher asita et avdecha  


  
Ki vemakli  
ata hayiti lishnei machanot  
Hatzileni na  
hatzileni na  
hatzileni na  


  
_I am not worthy of all the mercies,_  
and of all the truth,  
which Thou hast shown unto Thy servant;  


  
_For with my staff_  
I passed over this Jordan;  
and now I am become two camps.  
Deliver me, I pray Thee  
deliver me, I pray Thee  
deliver me, I pray Thee  


Maxim called to a boy in his tribe, “Asel, what news do you have?” “Some left for the promise land.” “Why?” “A woman came, she told them too. Then we heard the plague would come. She came back with medicine.” “An outsider? You let an outsider inside of our camp and you wonder why misfortune follows us.” “She was odd, we’re odd. She’d had a hard life. She was a criminal and we are nothing more than that in this tribe so why not? You will agree.” Maxim and Ilya exchanged glances, “Did she have a name? Was someone in the tribes the father?” “Maybe, he was a member? It doesn’t matter. Her name was something, I dunno. I can’t remember. She was nice.” Maxim rolled his eyes, “This is why you’ll never be a sentry man, Asel. You can’t remember anything or anyone and you’re a poor sniper.”

*******

Erwin was stretching in bed, “Wake up, daddy.” Aviva was pulling his eyes open, “Wake up!” Erwin opened his eyes and blinked. Gisela and Aviva were on the bed, “What is it princess? Schatzie?” “Can we cuddle with you and eat french toasties?” Erwin chuckled, “Of course, but who has the french toast?” They started to crawl in the covers, “Baba and Vati are making ‘em. Judah is asleep with aba and we wanted you.” They attached themselves to Erwin and he hummed, “I could use some french toast.” The door opened and it was Armin, “Erwin?”

He knew that tone, “Armin?” “Maxim’s on the phone. Say yes.” Erwin sighed, “Why have me speak to him if you want me to say yes? I don’t want to know. Don’t you see me? I’m here, on vacation, in bed, with these beautiful little joys. I don’t want to know anything. Nothing. Not a thing do I want to know. Just say yes for me!” Amrin smirked, “Maxi, of course you can have 200 passports,” “WAIT, WAIT GIVE ME THE PHONE!” Armin shook his head, “No, I’ll ask David and I think you should too.” “ARMIN I WANT TO KNOW!” “No! And that’s final.” “I’ll spank you!” “Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!” The girls whined, “NOT VATI!” “NOOOOO DADDY, NOOOOO!” Armin laughed wickedly, “Saved by the babes! Saved by the babes I am!”

************

David picked Hannalore up from dance and she bounced towards him, “Aba, can we get strawberries?” She opened her arms and he picked her up, “Of course, Lore.” He walked out to the car and put her in, “We’re going by Connie and Sasha’s house. Do you want them before or after?” “We should get them after.” “Why?” “Because then we can take some to momma.” “What about Keita?” She paused, “We need to get him peaches.” “Oh, yes, you’re right.” “And you need blueberries. Can we grow our own fruit?” “We sure can, motek.” “Good, I want to always have fruit. Growing one’s own food is the proper thing to do.” “I agree!” He was smiling so much it hurt his face.

His phone rang and he put it on Bluetooth, “Hello?” “David, I need something.” Maxim’s voice was strained and he knew he wasn’t being rude, just to the point, “What?” Maxim told him the situation, “Now, I need a way to ensure that they can leave to Israel if they need to. It will also give them papers that none of us have ever really had. I can’t get them for America but I want to do that too, if you can…..” “I don’t know, Maxim. I could lose my job for even asking or talking about this. It’s not, you know, something they want the world to know about.” “I know but it’s time.” “Maybe so.” He told him he’d call him back when made the choice. 

When he turned to phone off he realized that Hannahlore had been listening, “What aba just said, motek, that stays between us. Right?” “Aba,” she gave him a look just like Mikasa, “you need to let those people go home. Israel is every Jew’s home. It’s not just soil and fences, it’s safety and life.” David was a little taken aback, “Where did you learn that?” “Zev and Nikko told the rabbis that at school. I agreed. I like to go to their classes and not mine. They let me. Rabbi Berkovitch lets me.” “Why?” “Because Judah goes to Gisela’s classes.” David started to laugh, “Oh Judah. Oh little lion, you are such a trouble maker.” 

“Judah and Gisela are really funny. They always smile and Zev and Aviva are always with them. I like to play with Aviva and Gisela even though they’re little. Mila is only at regular school. I wish she came to the day school.” David was happiest listening to his children tell him anything, absolutely anything. “When is Mila’s aba going to come home?” David’s gut clenched, “I don’t know, motek. Please don’t ask her or talk to her about it.” “I know, aba. I’d be so sad if you were gone. I’d be very sad.” David sighed, “I love you.” “Of course you do, uncle Armin says that biologically…” David received his science lesson for the day and was very happy with the education the Smith Academy provided. 

***

He called Maxim back while resting on the balcony of the apartment and agreed to ask. Connie wiped his brow, “Being a dad is like…” “Getting slapped in the face.” “How the fuck do they do that with eight kids under one roof?” “There are four of them!” “I should get me some sister or brother wives or something.” “Ha, Mikasa and I have just two and sometimes we think about that.” “I just don’t want to share Sasha.” “Are you ever? What are you two doing?” “Maaaaaaaaan, I don’t even know. Never have, never will.” David stared, “I would absolutely die if I had your mentality and or life.”

“Bruh, that was brutal.”

“But very honest. I think Levi told me that they’re saying “savage” still.”

“Fine, bro, it was savage AF.”


	158. Pick Up the Pen

Annie sat at the table and looked at the little white chipped tea cup in front of her, “You’re pregnant.” It was a statement and it needed no reply, “And you came here. What a ridiculous thing. We shouldn’t have taken you in because you’re tainted. But, then again, you’re a criminal. I saw the mark.” Annie pulled her sleeve down and closed her eyes, pressing them shut. She was trying to drown out the screaming in her head, “I hear things. Something’s inside of me.” She didn’t think she even said it. There was no reaction and then the woman turned around, “Hmm, you must be a strong thing.”

  
February. Take ink and weep,  
write February as you’re sobbing,  
while black Spring burns deep  
through the slush and throbbing.  


Annie went to get water from the frozen creek that ran beside the cabin. Others in the village looked on at her in suspicion but they let her alone. She pulled her scarf up over her face and tried again to stop the shaking, “I think you’re having withdrawls.” A very handsome boy smiled at her and took her water pale. “I’m not a junkie,” she mumbled and tried to take the pale back, “I can get water myself.” He nodded, “I know you can but a little help won’t hurt. Just relax. You’re new here.” He showed her a better path to an area where the ice was cracked and it was easier to get water from him. He walked her back and said goodbye. She nodded in thanks and then she had the urge, the same urge that made her too scared to sleep at night.

_Eat him…_

  
Take a cab. For a clutch of copecks,  
through bell-towers’ and wheel noise,  
go where the rain-storm’s din breaks,  
greater than crying or ink employs.  


She looked at the woman with her deep purple scarf around her head, “Get in, girl.” Annie came inside and the woman drew her a bath with heated water. She scrubbed her and Annie let her. “How far along?” “Four months.” “You need to eat!” “I….please don’t talk to me about that.” “Eating? Get over that. We’re going to make you fat. Whether you keep the baby yourself or not, you’ve obviously not had an abortion and there are plenty of women who’d adopt here in the community.” “Not a baby from me.” “Oh, ha! Definity a baby from you.” Annie’s skin prickled, “What do you know?” The woman dumped warm water over her head, “That the daddy is a man with iron teeth. That you’re going insane by no fault of your own. I know a lot of shit.”

  
Where rooks in thousands falling,  
like charred pears from the skies,  
drop down into puddles, bringing  
cold grief to the depths of eyes.  


She sat her down at the table and another woman came from somewhere in the village. She wore white and Annie shook from nervousness, “Give me your arm girl.” Annie stretched her arm across the table and the woman in white traced her veins with her finger before landing on a spot, “Here.” The woman she was staying with drew a knife out, it was silver with an obsidian blade, “This killed a king once.” She said very ominously. Annie’s voice shook, “A king?’ “A white king.” She pushed the tip into her arm and Annie jerked slightly, not from pain, but from surprise. The blood ran and the woman caught some and let it drop slowly into a few pots of water around the table. She lit candles, said Hebrew prayers. Annie let her hand rest on her stomach and the other woman gave her a reassuring look, “It’s okay. She’s a holy woman.”

  
Below, the black shows through,  
and the wind’s furrowed with cries:  
the more freely, the more truly  
then, sobbing verse is realised.  


There were sages burned and then red knots tied around her wrists, “To keep the evil eye away. Something will happen within at least 30 days.” Annie felt the red thread around her wrists, “When do I take it off?” “It will fall off. You don’t take it off.” “Okay.” She frowned and the woman patted her back, “Keep your head up, it’ll get better.” But it didn’t really.

***

Itchiness, _scratch, scratch, scratch,_ blood _I need it I need it I need it_ the back of the neck, _it doesn’t matter but it can’t be there it can’t be here inside because it won’t work well you’re not meant for this_ moving _rip it out rip it out rip it out, scratch scratch, scratch,_ bloody skin _thirsty thirsty thirsty I am so thirsty rip this out of me it’s inside of me and not meant to be._ Annie sat up in the bed and pulled the covers back. It wasn’t her baby. It wasn’t her body. It wasn’t her anything. _I am noting. I am just a vessel._

***

He watched her walk towards the livestock in the morning light, no shoes, nothing. She’d freeze to death. Her eyes were filmed over, her hair loose and over her shoulders. She looked like a valkyrie and then she ran towards that cow and sliced into it’s neck . He watched her lap at the blood.

When she came to, he had her in his arms and was pulling her back from the body. She thrashed and he held tighter, “Americans.” That’s all he said and once he got her back to her cabin he sat her down and started heating water, “You’ve got a good nose but without toes you might drop from a 9 to a 5. Can’t have that, can we?” He smiled and she started to sob, “What have I done?” “Lost your mind, I’d venture.” “Oh, God. It’s...It’s inside of me!” She covered her ears and he looked at her. He pulled her feet towards him and put them in the water, “Let’s save those toes, Analia.” She looked at him strangely, “That’s not my,” “I know but it’s better.” “That’s very rude.” “Rude is not asking me what my name is or ever telling me yours when I helped you at the creek.” 

She felt his hands smooth over her toes, “Annie. But, Analia is….not bad.” He smirked, “Of course it isn’t.” “What’s your name?” “Oh, now she wants to know! Zvi.” “Zvi, you….you shouldn’t get too close.” “A little late for that.” He stood up and took a rag to her face, “Blood...that’s really bad for your health and your baby.” He looked at her stomach, “What are you having?” “I don’t know.” “How far along?” Four months...almost five.” “Where is the father?” “Not in the picture.” “Was he the great love of your life?” “No, the great love of my life was a strong and beautiful woman who never let life keep her down.” He smirked again, “Do I stand a chance?” She looked at him and pulled at her hair to hide her face, “You should leave.”

******

”When it moves inside of you, how do you feel?” Annie was crying silently, she wiped the tears from her cheeks, “Scared, it…..it tells me to do things and I don’t want to do them.” “What does it tell you?” “To….make things right.” “How?” “By making things pure, by putting the world right again. I feel like….like a secret soldier. And then, I feel like a traitor and all of these other things I can’t really explain. I just know something is coming and I need to be a part of it.” The doctor wrote down his observations and then left. 

Annie bit her bottom lip. How could she explain this? Zvi appeared, “Let’s go to the shul. There is a library.” She stood up shakily, “Analia, you’re a strong woman. I don’t like to see you so weak.” “You don’t even know me.” “No, I don’t really know you. But, I am a damn good judge of character.” Annie started to put more clothes on and Zvi walked into the small kitchen where the doctor was speaking to the woman of the cabin, “She seems to hate her child. I think that she was raped.” “And that’s why she,” “She is having a psychological break down. She is a danger to herself and possibly others. Definitely, we should take the child after she gives birth. She might kill it.” Zvi turned to look for her and then the doctor left, “You be careful with her, Zvi.” The woman put her washcloth down, “I will, babushka.”

***

He moved her hair back from her face and she flinched, “Were you raped?” She recoiled, “That’s not how you ask nor something you do ask!” “Is your child what’s moving inside of you? Is it what is making you go insane?” She looked aghast, “My child has nothing to do with the fucked up shit going on with me!” “It’s...what’s moving.” She stood up and the chair moved on the old wooden floor, “IT’S IN MY BLOOD!” She started to sob and he stood up pulling her to him, “Calm down, don’t cry. People will think I hit you.” “It’s in us all! It’s in the water! BUT, IT'S EVEN MORE IN ME! It’s in my blood!” She pushed against him, “This child, I may not feel for it what other women do. I don’t know how to feel or what to feel. But, it’s not the problem, it’s just another person I’m going to hurt! I just want to have it, find a good home or keep it I don’t know! But I want peace and quiet and I want to just stop hearing things and feeling things!”

She started coughing and he still thought she was beautiful, “Analia, tell me your story.” She shook her head, “I’d rather no one ever know me.” “You’re a difficult thing, aren’t you?” She stepped back and frowned, “Why are you even taking up time with me? I’m not interested.” He shrugged, “Tell me.” “No.” He walked towards her, “I’ll make you coffee.” “I can’t have coffee.” “Decaf is fine, Analia.” She stared at him blankly and he lead them into the small kitchen.

***

Daniel sat down at the table, “We have to know more about you. Keeping you here is a risk and we can’t do it if we don’t understand things. I’m asking for information. I want to mine you of all you have.” Annie pulled at her coat, “I just want to be left alone.” She scratched the table and he hummed, “Analia.” She looked up, “why are you calling me that? Don’t call me that.” “That’s what we all call you, you know? Zvi named you and it fits. He’s good at things like that.” She rolled her eyes, “He’s annoying.” “He’s broken, Analia, like so many others who have suffered because of the Reiss family. He had nothing left after they came here. He was orphaned and the girl he just married was shot.” “He’s been married?” “At 16….. Common around here to get married young. We don’t live long, you know. She was shot right in front of him.”

Anni felt bad, really bad. She tried to be a hardcore bitch without feelings but she’d never been able to do that, “Go get him. Get Zvi and I’ll try to answer all of your questions with as much detail as you’ll ever need.” He smiled, “Zvi’s right outside the window.” They tapped the glass and he appeared, smiling cheekily. He reminded her of Eren. She looked at the table before he sat down next to her, “I had to tell the farmer about the incident with his cow.” Daniel looked confused, “What happened?” “A cow charged me a few nights, must have lost it’s marbles. I dunno, but before I could even think about it I stabbed it. I offered to pay but he said it was an older cow and they used the meat so, no harm. I feel awful about it.” “Why did it take so long to tell him?” “I’ve been...you know….doing what I do.” He smirked and Daniel rolled his eyes, “Whatever, Zvi.”

****

My grandfather raised me to be a fighter. I was trained to enter into the secret service, the military wing of the Reiss empire. I was raised to never bare children, never get married, never have hopes, never have dreams. My life was not my own. My life was never anything other than a rampart on the journey towards the Reiss family. When I was cycled into the foster system I thought I was safe but then I realized that I’d never be free. They work simply, but efficiently. They make sure they saturate all levels of the government and other social systems in order to place us strategically. It was no coincidence that I was sent to Maria to get close to Eren Jaeger.

But, I never thought I’d fall in love with his sister. She really put a kink in my plans. The goal was to abduct Eren and bring him to Arkansas but I never could because she was so in love with her brother and ripping him away would kill her. She was so strong and beautiful. I knew she could see right through me and then it started. 

It was like everything inside of my body was on fire, like something was moving under my skin and trying to stretch it and rip it. The voices started, they started getting stronger and stronger as I went along. Other pieces in the game moved and I was lost. You see, there were two kings once, brothers, and they linked us all. But, they went to war because of the way they used their powers and talents . The brothers split into tribes .There was a purge, we were changed into titans and we fought in the name of the ideas and beliefs of the tribes. The stronger brother decided to save only a handful of elite peoples and bring them into walls. The tribe I descend from was not inside the walls and many of the titans were left outside to roam and fight us. We only wanted peace and to snuff out the wickedness of the other king. 

We were trained to seek out those of the other tribe and to destroy them. One day, we heard that the king had died and we rejoiced but the walls did not fall. It was a lie but it revealed something more important. Somehow, they learned how to pass the powers on. Our king had a family and we had a princess waiting but there was no way to really pass the knowledge down. When our king realized he could not do this, the went into his titan form so that he would not age. We could all do this. Once a titan, nothing happened to the body but this isn’t a long term solution since there was still a risk that he would die and all of his knowledge would be gone. One night, before I was sent away in the original life, I was told there was another king and he was who would present the most challenge to my goal. I didn’t fear anything. I just wanted to complete the task and then live in peace.

I wanted to return to my village but that was impossible. It had been destroyed by the other tribe’s titans and my grandfather was eaten in front of me. I was matched with two boys who’d experienced the same thing and our fates have always been tied. I hate it. I hate them. They just don’t think of things like I do. I mean, maybe it’s not all hate. At first I cared but then they always, always, make poor choices. Anyway, I failed in the original life and I have been made to pay ever since. Because of my failure more was learned about the powers of the titans and for that I have been branded. My role now has been much in the same. I am born, I am raised to fight, I eventually am put in contact with certain people and meet the two boys, we then search for Eren but something is always off. It’s like he doesn’t have full control of the coordinate. It’s all confusing. I’m just...always drained about it all. 

The worst is when they call me, call for my blood. That’s what’s happening. If I’m not careful, it will overcome me and it will, it has in the past, destroyed me. I am afraid this time it is going to get worse.

Annie looked at Zvi who drank tea slowly. Daniel cleared his throat, “So, the Reiss family is actually...split?” “No, there are two tribes but….okay, so yes and no. Because we are all so connected those with names that have meaning like those with double letters are Reiss Reiss. Those with names like mine that doesn't match are still Reiss but not as much. We were the result of intermarrying after the end of it all so that they could keep us under their control and ensure that when we were born they’d have access to us.” “And the other king?” “I think it is Erwin Smith. I think he’s the originator of the white kings.” “Why?” “His son has albinism.” “Oh, well, that’s the sign. But he’s not technically king. His father Zad is. It’s complicated. So, what are the plans this time?” Annie blinked, “The...plans?” “Yes, the plans.” Annie thought about it, “They’re going to try and get Erwin to come to the family freely. They want him because of his royal blood. He’s also a powerful person and smart. His mother was very important in the original life with the king.” 

“How?” “She taught the king how to transfer the power down. She was a Reiss herself and I think she hoped to have it passed to her so she could pass it to him. But, the Ackermanns told her it was too dangerous. However, she was the king's most beloved and she was to give birth to the new generation.” “I don’t get this. This is so fucking ridiculous. Why is Marilyn important? Why would the king of another tribe be important?” 

Annie sighed, “Even we’re all a little fuzzy on it all. Marilyn was his most beloved niece. She was supposed to marry Rod Reiss or Uri or any of her cousins. Instead, she married the current outsider white king. It didn’t destroy the family like they had thought. Others found wives, had kids, and then Marilyn had Erwin and died in childbirth. She was who he was going to pass the coordinate on to, not the others. It shook the family to the core. To have chosen Marilyn and not one of the sons or grandsons was unthinkable. The king was so distraught he stopped turning into a titan to stay alive and instead allowed Uri to eat him. Uri was the most sympathetic and had loved Marilyn almost as much as he. He knew her well and had kept some sort of strained relationship with Erwin’s father but it was all just an excuse to be near her and the last part of her. Marilyn broke the king’s heart. She ultimately wanted that power to go to her son and to bring both blood lines together. She felt that he could break the trance and put the world back together. She thought he could destroy my king and then make the world right again.”

”And that’s why she’s the mother mary of their religion.” Zvi sat back and Annie was surprised, “How do you know that?” “Maxim and Ilya speak to us. I’m in their tribe.” “Oh,” she sat back in her chair, “Marilyn was always working an angle. I think she just got a bad rap.” “What’s the reason they’re still obsessed with them?” “Because they are having children and these children have abilities from the coordinate. So, each time they have a child a bit of the coordinate goes to them. Perhaps, it never comes together and nothing comes of it but imagine if each of those kids could make that coordinate work and then they could combat the Reiss on their own. What happens if they have kids? Do they get the coordinates? Are children between them going to be even more resilient? These are things they want to know. There’s also a sickness among some of the Reiss family members from interbreeding. Genetic issues that make infant mortality higher. It’s a lot of tragedy in the Reiss world but then they look at the Smiths and the Ackermanns and the tribes and they see flourishing and marriages outside of the circles and they can’t understand how it’s working. It works because of whatever Armin did in the original life. It works because of Grisha Jaeger and his blood work. It’s how Gabriel Smith gives Erwin the best places he can to exert power and garner respect.”

Annie got quiet and Daniel looked at her stomach, “Did they know you were pregnant?” “No.” “Because?” “Because they would have taken it and done things to it.” “Even though their numbers are so low?” “Yes, even though.” “How….how can this all end?” Annie bit her lip, “How can this end? This….all can only end in a very blunt way.” “What is that?” “They teach us that the white king will rise, the men with iron teeth behind him, and he will destroy the brother’s tribes. By destroy, we mean he will hunt them down and physically kill them. You know who Abulafia was?” Daniel and Zvi both tensed up and she nodded, “He was a merely a distraction to it all.” Daniel had chills, “A distraction?” “He had only a few goals, set up a terror network, distract Marilyn, drive Gabriel insane, protect the many children of Uri, of which Jemison is merely one among hundreds, and try to turn the white king to black.”

******

Annie rolled over, uncomfortable. She felt warm and a very small yet painful contraction. Her hand fell to the water basin but it was empty and she knew she’d need to go to the creek. She got up, put her coat on, the blood was still pushing her but it wasn’t as loud. Zvi sometimes brought her cuts from the cow and cooked them rare. He seemed to understand but he was just a fool. 

She walked into the snow and he was there, “Where are you going so early Analia?” Annie rolled her eyes and said nothing, _fucking foolish and annoying._ “Analia, to the creek?” He followed her and then she had another contraction. She bent forward and he came up behind her and got the pail, “If you are in labor,” “I’m not in labor!” She sneered, “It’s braxton hicks!” Zvi looked at her, amused by her fire, “What?” “Braxton Hicks!” “Is that something I should know?” “Shut up, idiot!” He laughed, “Oh, wow, you sound just like Maxim. Is it a blonde thing? Are you all feisty?” “I just want a bath.” She was tearing up, emotional, frustrated. He turned her around and put her back in her bed, “I’ll go get the water.”

When he returned she was sweating and even more uncomfortable. He started to heat the water and then he went to check on the woman. When he returned she was even more disgruntled, “You know who that woman is, don’t you?” She shook her head, squirming, “No.” “My grandmother. My babushka.” Annie snorted, “Why don’t you live with her?” “I live in my cabin. The one I built for me and my wife. Now, I host other single men in my tribe. Seven years seems like yesterday.” “I’m sorry.” “For what?” “For your wife.” “No, you’re not.” Annie went still, “Maybe the old me in America wouldn’t be but I honestly am. You’re fucking annoying but you’re good.” “Are you in love with me yet?” “Leave.” He chuckled and instead walked over to the bed and turned her on her side, “What are you doing!?”

He started to massage her back and side, “Trying to make this baby happy. Babushka’s have lots of tips to give.” They sat quietly till the contractions stopped. He laid down on the bed and pulled a small book from his jacket before taking it of and his shoes, “Do you like literature?” She snorted, “I do. I’m surprised you can read, though.”

First look from morning's window  
The rediscovered book  
Fascinated faces  
Snow, the change of the seasons  
The newspaper  
The dog  
Dialectics  
Showering, swimming  
Old music  
Comfortable shoes  
Comprehension  
New music  
Writing, planting  
Traveling  
Singing  
Being friendly  


*******

Zvi ripped Annie away from the cow again, “You have a baby inside of you!” Annie started to thrash, “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Analia, you’re so temperamental.” She sometimes lost her mind and he didn’t exactly understand why. She said they were testing her. Whatever that meant he didn’t know but she was trying to figure it out herself. “It’s in the water!” “What is?” “Whatever makes people turn into titans but it’s not...I have no way of testing whether something is wrong and that’s….” “Analia?” “What if something has already been done that prevents me from turning?” “Would you really turn into a titan?” She blanched, “No and yes. I think it’d be worse than how it was.” “Why?” “Because how could we ever be as big?” Zvi hummed, “Yeah, fair point. If they are so weak now then the titans would probably be much smaller.” 

But, now Annie was going to go into labor any day now and Zvi was anxious that it might push her too far. He pulled her back into the house and washed her face. Her blue eyes were glazed over and she seemed almost sedated, drunk like. He smoothed her hair back, “When you have that baby, we’re going to go somewhere warm, somewhere cowless where you can’t get into trouble.” He smiled and she laid on the bed while his grandmother boiled water, “She’s a demon.” “She’s a victim.” She looked at the red string on her wrist, “Zvi, she isn’t interested in you.” He shrugged, “Then she’s just a friend babushaka. It doesn’t have to be that way.” “You’re ridiculous.” “Look at the tribe I live in!” She spat, “Shut up and leave so I can bathe her. She’s covered in dirt and blood.” ******* 

Annie woke up and Zvi was there in the bed with her, “Get out.” He snorted, “You’ll go into labor any day.” “Get out.” “I’m trained as a medical assistant.” “You lie.” “I stopped many a person from bleeding out before.” “In a bar after a knife fight.” “Same thing.” “Get out of my bed. It isn’t right.” “Analia, you’re already pregnant. No one will talk.” She could feel him smile, “If you’re going to sleep here at least don’t pee on me.” He moved, his arms moved down her hips, “ZVI!” “Your water broke. I did not pee on you. You peed on me!” She turned and slapped him, her stomach tight, “GET THE DOCTOR!” “How did you not know you were in labor?” ‘When something the size of a baby lives in you and then is going to come out of your dick you can ask me that shit but not before! GO!” 

***

Zvi stood outside of the room and waited till he heard the cry of the child and Annie’s sigh. He pressed against the door and listened that she was alive, they were alive. And then he prepared himself for the potential fight ahead. He listened longer and then opened the door, “So, what do we have?” He saw Annie staring at the squirming form as his grandmother leaned over her and explained breastfeeding. She was listening and he knew she was but she wasn’t really able to focus. He saw the doctor’s face and knew they still wanted to take the baby away from her.

He sat down, “Doctor, grandmother, I’d like a minute. She’s fine. I’m here. It’s fine.” They reluctantly left and Annie was still in shock, “This is strange. I haven’t felt anything motherly and I still don’t know if I am motherly but I love this thing.” “Thing? What is it?” “A girl.” She sounded so in awe and he smiled, “She needs a name.” She seemed even sadder, “Jaffe Bar-El.” He hummed, “May I?” She handed him Jaffe and then he felt something really odd, “Wow….I think I just fell in love.” Annie snorted, “She’s too young for that now.” He looked at her, “No, not that kind of love. Plus, it’s you I’m in love with.” She squirmed, “You’re so foolish.”

*********

They were going to take her away from Annie and he thought it was wrong. He went to the courts and they understood but they’d also heard of her behavior and things were just too stacked against her. Jaffe was growing and he was absolutely in love with her. Annie was awkward and it was clear to him she loved her daughter but she was in awe of her and terrified something would happen to her. She was a good mother. She just wasn’t fuzzy and traditional. She was a warrior. That’s where he stepped in. So, in order to protect them he moved them. He left his life, his community, all of it and moved them to Israel.

Now they lived in a one bedroom with a large closet they’d made into Jaffe’s bedroom in the heart of the old city where he worked long hours and took care of a woman who said she didn’t love him, wouldn’t touch him, but called him aba and was letting him raise her daughter like he was her real aba. Everyone would call him stupid, call him blind, say he was in denial. But he was so happy and he didn’t give a damn. He was right where he needed to be.

****

Annie had gone to the market while Zvi watched Jaffe. It was almost time for shabbat. She didn’t really get into religion. It had done absolutely nothing for her but Zvi took it to heart and he did so much for them already. She felt….affection for him. He wasn’t Mikasa but he wasn’t- _No, no, no, not that. Don’t go there._ He smiled when she walked in and was holding Jaffe in his arms, “Analia, tonight let’s go walk to the Kotel.” “Why?” She put the bags on the counter, “It’ll be crowded and hot.” “Please, Analia? Jaffe wants to go.” Jaffe turned her head, “Ima! I want to go to the Kotel!” She stared at her four year old, “Are you sure?” “Aba wants to go and I want to go. Then, we can come back and color!” Annie smiled, “Okay. Sounds like a plan.”

****

They came back from the Kotel but agreed to go back the next day because they hadn’t gotten close. Jaffe wanted to go to the main section where the men controlled it. Annie hated the sexist division of the wall and Jaffe already complained. They’d just dress her more boyish and Zvi would take her. He wasn’t that bad. Somewhere over the four years he’d wiggled his way into her heart, into her bed. 

Sometimes Annie wanted him and the contact of another person. He was always willing and ready for her. She pushed him away when he came behind her but it was playful. Jaffe was on the counter in the bathroom after a shower and Annie was drying her hair and then braiding it. Jaffe smiled, “Kiss!” Annie kissed her, “No! Ima! Kiss aba!” Annie paused and Zvi pinched her cheeks, “I’ll kiss you, motek.” Annie turned and looked at him, “Analia? Do you want a kiss?” He smirked and she wanted to hit him but she kissed him and Jaffe stood up to wrap her arms around her mother’s neck, “Ima and aba are kissing.”

She put her to sleep and he was waiting at the door, “Ima kissed aba. Did you hear? What a scandal.” “Shut up or she won’t kiss you again.” He smirked mischievously, “I want you, Analia.” She walked up to him, pulling at his shirt to kiss him. He pulled back, ripping her dress over her head and he gave an appreciative hiss of satisfaction looking at her toned fighter’s body. She taught self defense classes. She pushed him back into the room and on the bed. He took her hair out of the ponytail holder and her long blonde hair spilled over her shoulders. He thought she was fierce, a woman of valor. He chuckled at his good fortune. Somehow they made this work. Two people who’d loved others and now make a family. Who was the idiot now? Still him, probably.

****

Possibly, it was still him. Annie had a bad morning. Sometimes it was like a flare up and she would get odd again. Voices, scratching, the need for blood. But, these flare ups were rare now and he’d always lock her up and keep Jaffe safely away. The issue today was it was the sabbath still and people were at services. Annie had a fever but it eventually broke and with it her oddness. He moved her sweaty saturated hair out of her face, her lips were a shade of pink he couldn’t place. She was so pretty and Jaffe was gorgeous, “Analia, do you want to go to the kotel with us or stay here?” “I’ll go.” She was sensitive today. Jaffe came inside and crawled up into the bed with her mother, “Ima, I love you.” 

Annie smiled and kissed her, “I love you, too.” She kissed her again and then Jaffe looked at Zvi, “I love you too, aba.” “You do!? I am glad to hear that.” “Do you love Ima and me?” “I do love Ima and you.” Annie closed her eyes and smelled the top of her daughter’s head, “Let’s go. Feelings are for the weak.”

***

Annie held Jaffe’s hand as they stood among the crowd, “Why is the wall shut down?” Zvi was asking a soldier, “Something odd is happening. These people seemed to be losing their mind this morning. We’ve closed it because we’re not sure why they were acting so weird and we can’t ignore that it was happening at the wall. “ A female soldier looked at Annie, “Your nose is bleeding.” Zvi looked at Annie and then he saw the same look on her face she’d had with the cow, “Analia, give me Jaffe.” The female soldier nicked her head and the other soldier nodded, “Ma’am, if you’re not feeling well we can take you to the medic tent,” “Everyone needs to get out of here.” She said suddenly and Zvi held his hand up to stave them, “Why, Analia? What’s going on with the wall?” “It’s not the wall.” “What is it?” Annie could sense everything and she felt it and it tugged at her and then she heard it. _cough._

_cough._

_cough._

_cough._

_cough._

_cough._

_cough._

_cough._

_cough._

_cough._

_cough._

_cough._

_...............................................................................................................................cough._

*****************

The sirens were never ending and Jaffe wore a face mask, “Take her to the tribes.” “I’m not leaving you, Analia!” Annie was packing their bags, “Zvi, go to the tribes. Take Jaffe, it’ll be safe!” “What will you do, Anaka!? What will you do?!” She was crying, “I’ll try to find a way to help.” Zvi grabbed her, “You want me to take your daughter and leave you. Me, a man you’re not married to and who isn’t her biological father?! I have no legal claims to her if they wanted to take her they could! You must come!” Annie smoothed his hair back, “Then we’ll get married and you’ll leave.”

****

“Aba and Ima are getting married!” Jaffe was excited as they went to the court house and stood in nonexistent lines. They barely made it before the government shutdown to handle the influx of flu victims. Zvi sighed, “I wanted to really marry you one day.” Annie rolled her eyes, “Please stop being so….you.” She kissed him and he sighed into her, “Do you really love me? I know women are….do you really love me? It’s okay if you don’t. I never said you had to but after four years is there some affection there?” Annie’s bottom lip was shaky, “I want you to live. I want you to live and protect Jaffe. If I didn’t care about you I wouldn’t want you to live.” He nodded, “I love you.” She teared up, voice barely audible, “I love you, too.”

*********

Jaffe was so upset. Before he left for the last train Annie had another break in reality and she watched as her father had to restrain her. Who was going to take care of her mother when they were gone? People were so sick, some dying in the streets. She was now leaving her home and going somewhere she’d never heard of. She spoke Hebrew and Yiddish. She could speak English only a little and this Russian language sounded beautiful but was a mystery. She buried her face in her father’s jacket and cried. Zvi was nervous and every cough was as real a threat as a bomb.

*********

_Dr. Ackermann sent over serums. I think we should trust them. The ministry says it’s a potentially dangerous thing but it could save us. He made those serums, you know, the ones the soldiers use? So, why not?! I trust him! I trust that he wouldn’t send something he hadn’t tested. Oh, he tested it on his own family! Dr. Zoe, she’s a Zacharias now, she also helped make it. They made those wombs, the ones we have here for women who can’t get pregnant. Yes! The exact same! Analia, come here. Take these serums down to the other hospitals. If it works then I see no reason you can’t take a few home for your family._

************

Annie had been stealing serums left and right when finally she was caught. She was going to go to jail when she explained that she needed at least 300 for the community in Russia. She was sent to the Mossad headquarters. Inside a small room she was interrogated about her connections to the community and then she was released and given as many serums as she wanted. Dr. David Lavie signed off with a note, _“Whoever you are, whether you be Annie Leonhardt or not, we hope you do good with these serums and that you are well.”_ Annie cried and bribed her way onto another train with just the serums and her gun. She would have to fight to get there in one piece. The world was being destroyed.

****************

“What do you think the plague is about, Analia?” Daniel said slowly drinking his vodka and coughing. He’d had the serum now and was fighting the flu. Jaffe was in the room next to them and Zvi’s grandmother had died of the flu. She’d just returned from Moscow. This was their cabin now if they wanted it. “I think they realized the water doesn’t work. This is another way to infect.” Daniel sighed, “Hmmm isn’t that always the case?” She nodded, “But, now we are fine and we will live.” “Are you a woman with iron teeth now, Analia?” Annie looked at the table, “I’m just someone who chooses to live. Nothing more, nothing less.”

********

When they came she nearly had a panic attack. Reiss lackys coming to grab children. She looked at Jaffe who was waking while Zvi covered them with his body, “let me handle this!” Annie pulled him back, “No! I’m going! You’re going to stay with Jaffe and hide. I don’t need you to fight for me.” Annie rolled over the bed and Jaffe’s eyes were wide with fear, “Ima?!” Zvi gathered her up, “It’s a game, sweetie. It’s a very important game.” “The hiding game?” “The hiding game! Exactly! Just like the suitcase game.” They had been training her since she was infant with these games. There was the bomb game for getting to bomb shelters, the suitcase game encouraged having essentials packed in case of emergencies, and the hiding was in case they ever tried to come get them in Israel or any other God forsaken place.

Annie went outside, gun and knife ready. She taught Krav Maga to soldiers and had used it with Levi and David, picking up some of their skills. She was going to destroy these people. 

_pop!_

She clutched her shoulder, it was only grazed. A sniper already in the trees. She heard the gunfire and then screaming. She wasn’t safe in the open like this. She ran around the side of the cabin and smack into one of them. He went for her arm with knife and she kicked his knee trying for his gun that was flopping by the side. _What a fool to try for my knife when you have a gun._ She elbowed him and stabbed him in the neck. Blood gushed on her clothes as she roughly removed his gun for her own use. She took off running, shooting when she had too. There wasn’t that many of them and it seemed that the tribe was more prepared this time. Sometimes they defeated the Reiss is they only sent small envoys for kidnapping. 

It was when she was clothes’ lined and trying to recover that she was actually shocked. Above her stood a familiar face, “Mike?!” He looked pained that she knew him and he turned to run. She sat back up and went to find him but there was no trace. They corralled who they could of the Reiss lackeys in the shul and then they started a week long torturing to get as many answers out of them as they could. They only lost five of their tribesmen this time but it was still too many. Annie felt unsafe now that Mike had seen her and he was working with the Reiss family. She turned to Zvi with her concerns and he said they could go back to Israel since the flu was now under control with RW’s world wide distribution of the vaccine. 

When they packed up Jaffe was still sleeping in her arms. Annie loved her daughter more than anything and all she wanted was to go home and focus on her and even maybe slightly Zvi. Except, she was feeling worse and worse, “Zvi, take her.” He looked concerned, “Why?” “I feel weird.” He frowned but took her, “Don’t go after the cows, Analia.” Annie really did feel sick and she started to sweat, “They’re trying again to turn people.” “Really?” “Yeah, really hard! I feel sick. I might-” She started to vomit and Daniel appeared, “We might have to put her down if she,” “Don’t ever talk about her like that. You fucking bastard. You have no idea what she had done for us!” **** 

Annie had to stay in the cabin locked up for three days before they could leave. She was starving, bruised, she looked horrible, and hadn’t slept but she was happy that Jaffe and Zvi were still waiting. Now that Zvi legally could take Jaffe anywhere he wanted she’d worried as she came out of the fever. They took the train back and Jaffe played with Zvi in the car they shared with an older couple who’d buried their entire family. Annie felt horrible. These people, what was going to happen?

*******

In Israel all was back to normal. The population hadn’t been as destroyed and they were out doing relief work to help others. Annie stood on their balcony and watched as the sky turned colors and she smelled Zvi cooking dinner. Jaffe came out to stand with her, “Ima?” “Yes?” “When you’re sick, are you sad?” Annie started to panic, “What do you mean?” “Are you sad? You look sad when you’re sick.” She bent down to pull at Jaffe’s dress, “Yes, I’m sad.” “Why?” “Because I can’t play with you.” Annie said softly. She offered small smile to Jaffe who seemed nervous, “What else, Jaffe?” “It’s just….” “Do I scare you when I’m sick?” Jaffe met her gaze, “Yeah, a lot.” Annie started to well up, fat tears in the corners of her eyes, “I never want to scare you, Jaffe. I love you more than anything in the world I love you so much. I love you more than anyone. I love you!” She held her daughter and cried on the balcony beneath the Old City sky.


	159. White Tiger

”Aba! Look!” Gisela ran into Levi’s arms smiling and waving a piece of paper, “What is this?” He looked at it and it was note from her dance teacher, “Mr. Ackermann? Is Mr. Smith with you?” Her dance teacher was smiling holding Aviva’s hand. Levi blinked, “No, I’m picking both girls up today.” Mrs. Gould was a very practical woman. She was also famous. She had many stage names and was close to retirement but Erwin had made it worth her while to teach his little budding ballerinas and opera singers, “Well, I trust you can represent for him?” Levi liked her because she took absolutely no shit, “I can.”

He sat down in her office while Gisela and Aviva ate their peanut butter and jelly crustables he’d brought for a car snake. He could see them in the dance room through the windows in her office. She taught it all: dance, singing, piano, and more. “Gisela and Aviva are not like other little girls. Sure, they’re sweet and they like cute things but they’re once in a lifetime prodigies.” Levi couldn’t deny he was loving this. He was obsessed with his children but he also knew nothing in life was this free, “I think they’re amazing but what makes them prodigies?” Mrs Gould smiled, “Gisela, she sings at three like a dream. It’s amazing how she works her voice, limited as a three year old is. She’s also very talented at dance. I think she should be geared towards opera and not modern music. She certainly could do it all but working in the opera house would be her element. Aviva is the same but she is stronger in dance. They are almost equal, honestly, but if I had to write it on paper Gisela would be the singer and Aviva the dancer. They have a package that I have never seen before. I’d like to work with them more and I won’t charge extra tution.” 

Levi chuckled, “Well, that’s kind.” Mrs. Gould frowned, “You’re not getting it. I want them in here almost eight hours a day. I know they have day school and home school but Mr. Ackermann, at least they need to be pulling four or five a day. They have something here that no one else does. They have God given talent. Stop being so dense, Mr. Ackermann. Now, here, take this information I wrote up and look it over with Mr. Smith. Don’t be dense and just do it. Do it for them. If they say they hate dance or singing, I’m all for respecting a child’s wishes and I’ll back off. But, Mr. Ackermann, they love it. Talk with them. I’ll respect Shabbat and the won’t do Fridays or Saturdays if that’s what you want. Having a dance studio installed at your house for privates wouldn’t be a bad idea and might make it easy. You know my services include privates. Now, go. I’m tired of looking at that dumb look on your face. Just say yes, Mr. Ackermann. Just say yes.”

Levi was shooed out of the office with a look of utter disbelief on his face. He picked his girls up and put them in the car, “Aba?” Aviva said suddenly, “Yes, princess?” _Ugh no, I just used their nickname for her._ “I love you.” Gisela squealed and kicked her little pink legs, “I LOVE YOU TOO, ABA! LIKE THE MOSTEST!” He was awkward and smiled strangely, “Aba,” Gisela sighed, “we need to work on smiling. You do it wrong.” Levi closed the door and chuckled, _she has a point._

***

“JUST SAY YES!” Erwin slammed his hand on the table, “LEVI! THIS IS WONDERFUL!” Armin was putting Tuvia’s antlers on, “Vati, I’m a stag.” “Yes,” Armin stuck the tip of his tongue out in concentration, “you are. Just like your daddy.” Yoni ran around the table chasing Hannalore, “RAWR!” He was a dinosaur. Hannahlore giggled and squealed. She was princess bubblegum from adventure time. Keita tackled her and she giggled more as Yoni fell on top of them. Keita was a samurai and he loved it. 

Judah and Gisela were both characters from their two favorite movies. Gisela was Princess Mononoke and Judah Jack Skeleton. Aviva was a ballerina and Zev was a scary vampire. Ezra was a vet and Nikko was the surprise of surprises. He wanted to be a punk rocker. Mila was a 50s dancer and Bellamy was her soda pop sock hop date. Bianca was Jackie Kennedy, Gio a Roman warrior, and Cesare was a medieval prince. Armin and Eren were sorting the candy while David kissed Mikasa and danced with her around the room, “Congratulations, mami.” She had just landed a huge deal for line to be carried in Japan. 

Jean was eating marshmallows while Marco talked to him about the upcoming piece in the Washington Post in reply to his post in his own paper. Jean smiled at cut-throat Marco. He was his favorite by far. He kissed him senseless and proclaimed passionate love. Zev saw Gisela and grabbed her, “I’ve caught the princess! I’ll save you!” Judah smirked before grabbing her back and they both started a war of good versus evil which amused Maxim and Ilya who were finishing their children’s costumes. Lilly was a nesting doll and Alexi was Rasputin. Ilya thought it was funny but Maxim didn’t, “He was mad!” “WE’RE MAD!” Maxim had rolled his eyes.

They were waiting on Hanji to get there and Connie and Sasha. They walked in as Eren was talking about them with their daughter Europa. “EUROPA! YOU MAKE UNCLE ERWIN AND ARMIN VERY PROUD!” She was dressed in grecian style and she smiled as Sasha showed her off, “She’s our little Europa.” Connie smiled and shook everyone’s hand. 

Levi snapped his fingers, “Erwin, but eight hours a day for a little girl is a lot.” Erwin threw his hands up, “LEE! THEY COULD BECOME STARS!” Levi deadpanned, “I should have only spoken with Armin.” Armin nodded, “Yeah, rookie mistake but I agree. Aviva and Gisela love dance. We can build a studio for PE.” “What is,” Levi was cautious, “P….E?” Armin smiled kindly, “Oh, Levi.” He said sympathetically when Erwin burst the bubble, “PHYSICAL EDUCATION, LEE! ARE YOU NOT USING THE FLASHCARDS I MAKE YOU!?” “No. Absolutely not.” “LEE!” “Your cards are stupid.” Judah smirked, “Stupid.” Levi gave him a warning look, “Judah.” “You said it.” Levi and Judah began a silent fight of disgusted faces and glares. Levi had met his match. Erwin picked Judah up, “I love you, little Judah,” “Put me down, eyebrow man.” Erwin paused and Levi smirked.

”Judah, that’s not nice.” “Let me go!” He started squirming around in his arms and Erwin was hurt and having none of it, “LOVE ME!” “NOOOOOOOOOO!” Levi stood and took his son, “Eyebrow man, stop accosting my son.” Erwin pouted, eyebrows furrowed, “He’s a rascal.” “Shut up, Erwin.” “He’s a little brat.” “Erwin,” Levi warned, “he’s just fine. You’re too sensitive.”

Eren snorted and wanted to be filled in on the details and then he sighed, “They're only four. If we do even five hours we won't be able to spend much time with them.” Erwin paused, “Are they four?” Levi was second guessing himself, “They're three.” Armin looked outraged, “They JUST turned FOUR! OCTOBER IS THEIR BIRTHDAY MONTH!” Erwin and Levi cringed and Judah looked up, “I'm four, aba.” Levi wanted to crawl in a hole. 

But then they all heard Eren sniffle, “Eren!” Eren’s eyes watered, “Eren, no!” “The tears spilled over, “THEY'RE GETTING SO BIG, NESHAMA!” Armin tried to fight it, “Don't cry, Eren, or I'll cry.” He teared up and soon they were both a mess, “OUR BABIES!”

They were taking their kids trick or treating on Friday since Halloween fell on a Monday and they'd be busy. Tomorrow they would go to the football game since Erwin had a box now as president. It was easier to handle everyone that way in a contained temperature controlled area. Levi did have cleaners go and scrub it beforehand since it was 80s glory and shag carpet. Erwin promised he'd have then redone to placate Levi for next year. 

They heard Hanji and started to round up the kids. She looked off and Levi tried to let her be. Mila came to him and wrapped her arms around his waist and he smiled eventually walking her out on the tops of his feet to the car. Mila Pamellah made his heart sing. He watched as Bellamy and Nikko sat on either side of her and he sighed, _this is going to a mess when they get older._ He shut the door and then petted Donner who nudged his hand, “Let's go, old boy.”

****

“Gigi! I'm getting started!” Zev said wickedly and taunting. Gisela appeared, “Nooooooo! WAIT FOR ME!” She tried to climb up on the bench for the kitchen table and he helped her. They'd all had baths and now their candy was being checked by their parents. Zev pulled Gisela between his legs and she made herself comfortable leaning back against his chest. Zev took her book and smiled, “This is neato.” It was a book from The Old Kingdom series by Garth Nix, “Can we even understand this?” Zev could, sort of, he worried Gisela might still be too young. She shrugged, “What does it matter?” She turned to face him and he felt funny, “Just read it now and then we can read it again and again as we get older. Then we'll understand.” _Can't fight that logic._ Zev nodded and set to holding the book so they could both see. He had put his glasses on already and Gisela sighed, “You're hands are so big. I like them.” Zev was really smug, “Yeah, I can hold stuff with them.” He said it like a brag. Zev did tend to brag a lot. She smiled rolling her eyes, and they began their nightly routine they'd started when he could see. Now that Gisela was older he thought it was much more fun. 

Erwin loved to listen to them talk and he was currently laughing internally about how boastful his son was about his hands. All she said was they were big. Erwin needed to make a note to work on some things with him and the other boys. They were raising feminist children, not macho-alphas and sandwich makers. Judah walked by, for once not encroaching on his sister’s time with Zev. She must have told him to stop. If there was one person he’d listen to it was her. “Judah, what are you up to?” Judah looked up and blinked blankly like his father, “Why you wanna know?” Erwin’s eyebrow twitched. He was such a brat. _I fucking love him._ “Because daddy loves you. Do you love daddy?”

Judah frowned, “Leave me alone.” Erwin was crushed and he started to tear up and cry. He was feeling sensitive that day. He just wanted him to love him. Judah looked suddenly very upset as Erwin cried more, “Judah, that hurts me.” Judah started to turn red, he was upset too, he shot his arms up towards Erwin, “Don’t cry!” He jumped impatiently wanting Erwin to pick him up, ‘But you don’t love me!” Judah jumped more and started to get frustrated and panicky, “Up! UP! PICK ME UP, EYEBROW MAN!” Erwin did and cried more, “You hurt daddy with your words!” Judah started to cry, “Don’t cry.” Erwin was still crying and Judah started to wipe his face, “DON’T CRY!” He wrapped his arms around Erwin’s neck and nuzzled his face into the crook, “Don’t cry, daddy. I love you.” Erwin held onto him and kissed him.

They sat down and cuddled on the couch, “Do you really love daddy?” Judah pouted, “Mmesss.” “What?” He looked pained, “Mmmyessssss.” Erwin kissed him all over his face, “Then why are you mean to daddy?” Judah buried his face in his shirt and Erwin just enjoyed that he was letting him have this time with him. Judah squirmed and moved off the couch when he heard Gisela call for him. Erwin knew that fighting for Judah’s attention when Gisela wanted it was for noght. Erwin watched as he went running to her and he sighed. Armin crawled over into his lap, “You can hold me, daddy.” He kissed him teasingly, rolling his hips into Erwin’s and breathed him in, He moved his lips by his ear, whispering sensually, “You can fuck me, daddy.”

Erwin picked Armin up, “These kids can put themselves to bed.” “They already did.” He looked around and saw them all sleeping on the couches covered in their blankets with the cats and Donner watching over them. They left the TV on cartoons in case they woke and became afraid. Eren and Levi were still up and they figured it was only fair. Erwin kissed Armin while they stood in the living room, his hand fell down to the hem of his little pink silky shorts and inside they gripped the fleshy mounds as their tongues tangled. 

Erwin walked them upstairs as Armin pulled at his hair, “Walk faster.” Erwin groaned, “I'm walking, baby.” Armin ground his hips down harder, “And I'm fucking needy, hurry up.” Erwin opened the door and they barged into their room. 

Armin pulled Erwin's clothes off while he rolled his tongue and mewled as Erwin’s fingers roughly spread his ass cheeks apart “I want to taste you.” Armin sighed breathily, “Then taste me.”

Erwin tossed him on the bed and opened the drawer for lube. Armin settled in, face in the duvet, hands on his tight ass with his cheeks spread and waiting. Erwin bent down and licked up the cleft of his ass and then he started to suck and kiss at the little pink pucker. His tongue teased the flesh while Armin began to pant and squirm. 

Erwin slid a lubed finger inside of him and slowly moved it around inside of his little nymph. Armin sighed and gave a short whine when he removed his finger but soon Erwin’s mouth was back and he was enjoying the tonguing from him. Armin moved back on his fingers as he inserted them and he groaned when he hit his prostate, “Daddy, right there.” Erwin chuckled and then removed his fingers, “Can baby take it rough today?” Armin looked back at him over his shoulder. His hair disheveled and lips pouty and pink, “Yes, daddy.” It was a seductive whine of need and Erwin rolled him on his back, pulled him into his arms and the took him to the large chair in their room. 

Erwin put Armin on his back and rolled his ass up into the air, Armin’s face framed by his legs. Erwin put his leg on the chair for a little extra height and then slid his massive.cock into a whining Armin who was biting his bottom lip through the pleasure. He started a teasing and sporadic pace, winding Armin up and starving himself of release. He kept rolling Armin back more and more on his shoulders and neck. He moved up in the chair to get a better angle and pounded into Armin who was moaning like a little whore as his prostate was hit intensely. 

Erwin stepped down and pulled Armin by his hair on his knees at the foot of the chair, “Suck it.” He forced his thick cock into Armin’s mouth and face fucked him. Armin played with himself, choked, and loved it. His eyes rolled back, he hummed in satisfaction, and when Erwin pulled out of his mouth he didn't bother trying to catch his breath, “Hit me, daddy.” Erwin gave him a sharp slap that made him fall to his side. 

Erwin picked Armin up like a ragdoll and tossed him on his stomach onto the bed. He came from behind, between his legs, and smoothed his hands over his bottom admiring the silky soft white skin. He gave the left a sharp spank, then the right, “Daddy, please spank me.” “You want to be spanked, baby?” “Yes!” He pushed Armin’s face into the covers pushing in slowly, “Okay, baby. I want to feel you twitch.” He started spankingspanking Armin while inside of him, enjoying how his hole tightened around his cock. Armin mewled and grabbed the sheets in rapture. 

When he stopped, Armin’s bottom was red and purple. He started to thrust in and out in long strokes. Armin moved back on him, “Bitte, daddy? I wanna come weally, weally bad.” He turned to pout and look at him pleadingly through his batted lashes. Erwin slapped his ass and started fucking him roughly.

Erwin was enjoying himself when Armin put his arms back with his hands open showing to Erwin. He understood and grabbed ahold of his wrists and used them to pull Armin close as he brutally fucked him to a squirming, moaning, whining finish. Armin came all over his stomach and the duvet. He made him turn over as Erwin licked up his stomach and then took his softening cock in his mouth to suckle and nibble while Armin squirmed even more, face red, and pupils dilated. He made short gasps, tried to push Erwin off of him, “Daddy!” Erwin resisted him and kept sucking and teasing. He moved down licking his own release while Armin moved, over sensitive but still immensely turned on by Erwin. Erwin put his fingers back inside of him, three, four, and then five and Armin was in heaven, mind breaking pleasure. He was pushing and begging, just how Erwin wanted him. Erwin fucking him with his fist while he sucked him off and Armin was on cloud 9, coming a second time much later. 

Armin kissed Erwin as they jumped in the shower to clean up. He couldn't resist letting his hands wander Erwin’s godly body, “I think I'm in lust with you.” Erwin chuckled, “Oh, I don't mind at all.” Armin held his lip between his teeth while standing on his tippy toes. He he stepped back Erwin started to rinse his hair and Armin smirked, “Will you s-” “still love you when you're not young and beautiful?” He winked and Armin smiled, “Yeah?” “I will. But I'm the old one, not you. It's you I have to worry about. If you'll leave me-” “Never.” “Never?” “I'll prove it.” “Okay, puddin’ pop.”

Erwin and Armin crawled into bed and then Erwin jumped, “NO SOCKS!” Armin snickered, “No socks. I love you!” “I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE THIS!” There was a small push and the door opened. Then it closed and both were trying to see in the darkness. A form crawled up on the bed and they both smiled thinking it was Yoni or Tuvia but no, it was a shock, “Judah?” He crawled in next to Erwin and said not a word. Erwin and Armin exchanged looks of disbelief before Erwin spoke, “Have I died?” “Maybe, now go to sleep, daddy.” Armin kissed him and snuggled closer to him, “I love you, Erwin.” “I love you, too. I love our little lion, too.” Judah made a humpf noise and Armin reached over to stroke his hair, “Our lion doesn't feel like roaring right now. Let us leave him alone.” 

*********

Armin put his head on Erwin’s chest, “Daddy, good morning.” Erwin’s eyes were closed but he smiled, “Baby, you're the best thing to wake up to.” Armin moved up to kiss him a few times, “I love you so much.” “Mmm thank you for the kisses baby.” “Anytime.” Judah moved to bury his face into Erwin’s side. Armin smiled and started to card his fingers through his hair, “Judah, guten morgen, kleiner.” Judah looked at Armin. He thought Vati was beautiful and kind and soft and sweet and safe. He thought vati was amazing. He just didn't know how to show that. 

“We're going to the game today. Isn't that nice?” Judah nodded shyly. “What do you want daddy to make you for breakfast?” Judah looked at Erwin suspiciously, “Vati makes breakfast.” “I can make breakfast!” “Sure he can.” Armin smiled patting Erwin’s chest, “Come on, I'll get you bathed, sunscreened, and clothed and daddy will make us breakfast.” “I want…..tiger pancakes.” “That's perfect.” Erwin wanted to die. Those were fucking hard. He was not grown enough for them. “Can you make tiger pancakes, daddy?” Judah asked quietly, still suspicious. Erwin blinked, his tiny angry Levi was looking at him with such wonder. He couldn’t fuck this up. He needed his love, “Daddy can do anything that you want, Judah.” Armin leaned over Erwin to kiss him and then took him into the bathroom to bathe him.

Erwin went downstairs and noticed that all the others had been put in their beds and were still sound asleep. It was pretty early. He figured he had about an hour and a half before they would wake. He got into the kitchen, chilled from being shirtless, and realized he had no idea how to make these things. He heard his phone buzz and pulled it out of his pocket.

 **Baby:** Daddy, in the drawer under the second sink is the recipe.

Erwin lowered his phone and almost cried. He had a silent thought:

_You are an angel._

He started reading and getting the ingredients out. “I can do this.” He said confidently as he started putting flower in the bowl and then the eggs, “Oh shit, well,” an egg broke and the shell pieces went inside, “oh...well…..better mix it real good.” He started stirring rapidly and hoped it would be fine. He started to add the milk and spilled a little, “My god….all of my wives cook. I never have to do this peon shit. How dare you spill, milk. How dare you!”

He heated the skillet up for the pancakes. They're special pancakes made with pumpkin or sweet potatoes depending on the season, brown sugar, creme, and blueberry syrup. He had to be very careful and lay blueberries into the baking pancake to make eyes, a nose, mouth, all of it into a tiger's face. The syrup made the stripes. Armin created this with Eren one day when they were alone and then made it for the kids. Now it was the most requested breakfast and he was currently FUCKING IT UP “OH GOD NO!”

After putting out a fire he had a stack of pancakes going. Now they needed, “Powdered sugar? What? I don't remember that but…..it's right here….” He found the sugar and read further, “Sift the sugar over the top till dusted….mmmmm….what does that even mean? Why does this have a handle?” He twisted it to release the sugar and then _POOOOOOF_. Sugar coated everything, “Fuck me.”

He tried to wipe some of the sugar off but gave up. He made more pancakes, heated the blueberries and made the syrup burning it just a bit. He was embarrassed that the pancakes were not as orange as they needed to be due to the powdered sugar but it would have to do. Armin appeared with Judah and went to the fridge to get juice poured. Judah sat down and Erwin gave him a plate. He tried to make stripes like Armin did and Judah looked at it all. 

He started eating and Armin gave Erwin a look like, “Well what do you know?” before pouring himself some orange juice. He came behind Erwin and wrapped his arms around him, “Good job, daddy. Daddy can do anything, Judah.” He smiled and then Erwin turned his head around to kiss Armin sweetly. When the others came down they started eating, waking up and not chatting that much. Judah asked for seconds and then Levi appeared flustered, “Oh...there he is. I thought….” Armin nodded, “He slept with daddy and vati last night.” Levi looked relieved but still flustered. He looked at the pancakes, “What's going on with those?” Judah looked up, “Eyebrow man made white tigers. I like them a lot.” Erwin didn't even mind being called Eyebrow Man because Judah was happy, “I like them, too.” Gisela said happily. Zev quickly agreed and then a chorus of everyone else rang out….but then Judah said, “But Vati doesn't burn the syrup.”

”Yes,” Armin grinned, “because vati is what?” The kids said in unison, “Perfect.” Eren snorted, “You have got to be kidding me.” Erwin bumped into Levi and then made kissy lips. Levi rolled his eyes and then he kissed him twice, “Were you nice to my lion?” “I was. But he made me cry.” Levi looked like he didn't believe it and then Armin nodded, “How?” “I don't think he loves me.” “Shut up!” “But I,” “Erwin,” Levi’s tone was deadly, “he does. Stop saying things like that.” Levi looked like he might cry and Erwin nodded. 

He ate a pancake, “White tigers are pretty good. But, Judah is right. Armin would never have burnt the syrup.”

*********

Football on Saturdays were the ideal family event. They went to services on away games in the fall but home games were the best. The Scouts were having a good season and were playing at 6 pm. That meant, “VATI! ALEXI AND I WANT TO GO TO THE SCOUT WALK!” “DADDY, BABA, COME JUMP WITH US IN BOUNCY HOUSE!” “PAPA, DADDY, FACE PAINTING!” “ABA PLEASE WIPE MY HANDS I TOUCHED SOMETHING ICKY!” “AUNT HANJI, MOMMA, PLEASE TAKE US TO SEE THE HORSES! WE WANNA RIDE!” “PAPUSHKA, TATTI, WE WANT TO THROW THE FOOTBALL PLAY WITH US PLEASEEEEE!” 

The walked around campus, took part in the activities. They were all dressed to impress especially since the President was with them. It was laughs, shakers, leather belts, and horses. Zev entered a contest and won, getting his picture taken for the Scoutsmen Newspaper along with his proud daddy. The Smiths were the picture perfect family with their outfits and pristine smiles. David and Mikasa joined them after temple and Hannahlore and Keita made themselves at home in the box. Food was brought in for the game and dinner. Gisela and Judah were laughing while Aviva and Zev tried to get them to play princesses and princes. Lore and Yoni and Ezra and Cesare were all at the table coloring. The others were about the room getting ready to watch out large windows that looked over the field and large plasma screen TVs that broadcast ESPN. Of course, a small area for naps and quiet time were there for some of the more reserved children. Nikko sat in Eren’s lap and asked questions while Mila and Hanji sat with Levi and discussed school and working together potentially on something new. 

Levi wiped Ezra’s mouth as he ran by and then he looked at Erwin. Erwin smiled, “Are you happy?” Levi nodded and kissed him, “But get rid of this disgusting carpet. You buy planes, buy the stadium and redo it.” Erwin chuckled and kissed him again, “Anything for you, Lee. Anything you want, I'll do it.” Marco was playing checkers with Armin while Jean and Eren got into the cupcakes while their husbands were not looking. Ilya sat in one of the seats and pulled Maxim into his lap, “MMMM Maxi, your butt is so nice.” Maxim turned around and kissed him when Lilly ran by to follow Aviva around. Tuvia was building off to the side and Zadkiel appeared with alcohol and an architectural magazine that he sat down with Tuvia to look at. They were very close.

It was a marvelous day and the game was the icing on the cake. The stadium lights were bright and it was alive with people cheering and having fun. Gisela pressed her nose against the glass and then turned to Levi, “Aba, do you feel funny sometimes when you're around a lot of people?” Levi looked down and Judah took her hand, “Do you, aba?” “I don't like being around people. So, yes.” “No, but like….does it sometimes feel like buzzing in your tummy?” “What?” “Some people in crowds a lot, make my tummy feel weird.” Levi was squinting at his daughter hoping to follow the kid logic, “I don't know, shatzie. I just don't like people.” “But you like us?” “I love you.” “Good.” Gisela turned back and Judah was smiling softly. He was happy that Gisela had been born. So happy she was for Judah and him. Levi was selfishly obsessed with his little girl and her green eyes, blonde curly hair, and sweet features. Judah had green eyes as well but all of his other features were just like his and Nikko’s. Gisela was their little Ashkenazi princess.

Keita came up, “Gisela, do you want to play with me?” Levi smirked looking away. Keita was blushing. He had a little crush on Gisela that they all found funny but a little worrisome. She was his half first cousin because of David and Levi but legally his full first cousin due to Mikasa and Eren. He was doubly out of the running. Judah frowned as his sister was pulled away and Levi reached over to lovingly touch him before Judah slapped his hand away, “No!” Judah sneered. 

Levi sighed, “Don't be rude.” “Don't touch me.” “Don't talk back to your aba.” Judah stared intensely and Levi did the same, “Did you make daddy cry?” Judah’s neck was turning red. Levi knew that was a yes, he acted tough and brat-ish but Judah was so soft inside,“So, now you want to make aba sad?” Judah frowned epically before replying, “I just want Gigi. Zev and Nikko are okay, too.” “And not Ezra?” Judah looked at Ezra behind them and sighed. He tried to appeal to Levi’s senses, “He eats all the food.” Levi snorted, “Like baba.” “Yes, like baba…..I like baba…..and you….sometimes.”

Judah reached over to pull at Levi’s shirt cuff. Levi watched a touchdown and heard Erwin yell. He suppressed a smirk. He was glad they were winning. He saw Eren talking with some vet students from the school and Armin was on the phone with Mikasa beside him scribbling something down. David walked over to him, “Brother, we should go on a trip together.”

David smiled and put his hand on Levi’s shoulder, “I miss spending one on one time with you. We're both so busy these days.” Levi took his hand, “What kind of trip?” “I don't know. Something relaxing or physical.” “Wow, those are complete opposites.” David grinned, “Sometimes we're like that, you know?” Levi shrugged, “Maybe so.” David looked over at his children, “They’re amazing little things.” Levi smiled, “Tell me about it.” “You know, Nikko has a very special quality about him.” “You and Berkovitch want my son to be a rabbi.” “You would have made a fine rabbi.” Levi paused, thinking about it.

David bumped into him again, “We have enough kids I think we need to maybe start spending money to help facilitate them.” “We bleed money already.” “We should simply make more.” “How?” “Armin said that he’d had an idea about tobacco.” “Oh, you shouldn’t be left alone with that firebrand.” “He mentioned this idea to you?” “He did.” “He is a rabble rouser.” David chuckled before getting serious, “And this Sunday he’ll be the two wolves again.” Levi shuddered, “I worry about Eren.” “I do, too. But, perhaps this will work out?” Levi felt someone tug at his shirt, “Aba?” it was Yoni, “can I ride on your shoulders after the game?” Levi nodded and Yoni ran off. David started to chuckle, “Why are you laughing?” David turned and laughed more. Mikasa hit his back, “You’ll choke on your drink.” “Because he’s almost as tall as you.” Levi hit him, “Mikasa, when you go home, do smother him.” She gave him a mischievous smile, “I’ll be sure to punish him.” 

***

They walked to the statues that decorated with their belts when they won. Yoni sat on Levi’s shoulders and laughed loudly, happily. Yoni was such an interesting child. Introverted but not and he had this slyness about him like Erwin. He was together, dressed well but not as well as Nikko who only liked to wear full suits, and he had a smart way about himself that reminded Levi of Erwin’s cool and collected self. Yoni was going to be their lawyer, for sure. Bianca was falling asleep in Marco’s arms and Bellamy was chasing Mila around the statues. Nikko stood by cautiously taking it in. He was happy, just not obnoxious. Nikko made Levi’s heart feel so soft and warm.

Eren walked up to Armin and pinched his butt, “So, you slept with my son?” Armin smirked, “He’s gunna like the blondes.” He raised and lowered his eyebrows comically and Eren kissed him, “I like the blondes.” Armin pulled him closer, fingers now in his hair and holding him close, “I know you do.” Erwin and Jean were laughing and taking pictures of everyone while Mikasa and David shared kisses and made family pictures. Mikasa and David were within walking distance of their house. “We’ll see you tomorrow night.” Keita said to Nikko, “Why?” Keita shrugged, “Momma and aba are going to watch you.” Nikko blinked and Keita smiled, “We can play games.” Nikko gave a soft smile, “Yeah.” 

They waved as the Lavies went home. Hannahlore and the girls were excited for a sleepover. Mikasa carried a tired Keita up the stairs while David held Hannahlore and fumbled the keys, “Momma, I’m tired.” Mikasa smirked, “Me too, aba.” “Momma, I want some tea.” “Me too, aba.” “Momma, I want some sugar.” Mikasa turned to look at his smug face, “Well, we’re all out.” He frowned and she got her keys out, “Aba needs to keep up with his keys better.” “Momma is right.” He smiled and Hannahlore did, too. She looked at Keita and Keita smiled, burying his face in Mikasa’s neck, “Momma?” “Aba?” “Kiss the mezuzah.” “Aba, kiss it for me. I need to take the shoes off.” “Okay, momma.” 

Hannahlore looked at her father, “Aba, without momma what would you do?” David’s eye squinted, he looked like he was concentrating very hard, “Aba wouldn’t make it, Lore. Aba would be sad. He’d be in Israel, a relatively poor man, no home cooked food, no beautiful children, and just a nothing. I’d be nothing.” Hannahlore was contemplating something, “Will I find someone like momma?” David kissed her cheek, “You’ll be someone like momma, motek.” “Really?” She said in awe, “really?” He chuckled, “Yes, really. Someone like me will say those things about you one day. Honestly. You are worth more than anything in this world, Lore. You can do anything, be anything, and you should always try to be self sufficient and independent.” “You’re strange, aba. That sounds like something uncle Levi and uncle Erwin say to Gisela and Aviva.” “Well,” David said suddenly, “they’re smart men. Smart abas.” 

They bathed the kids and put them to bed after watching cartoons and drinking black tea. Mikasa leaned back on the sofa into David, “You know, you’re pretty great.” He smiled, “That means a lot from you.” “Shut up.” She smiled and playfully hit his side. He pulled her closer, her short bob back and fierce. She could do anything and he’d think she was gorgeous, “Do you want to take them to Israel in a few months?” She thought about it, “I would.” Mikasa picked at her pants, “David, sometimes I am very sad and I miss my family. I miss the Jaegers, my mother and father. I miss so many people and then I look at you. You’re so strong. Your strength is what inspires me to keep going and doing things I need to do.” Mikasa turned to look up at him, “I love you. Thank you for everything.” He kissed her suddenly and when he pulled back she was blushing, “Mikasa, you are divinely inspired and perfect. Never thank me. The pleasure is all mine.” 

***

David lifted her into his lap pulling her nighty off. She rolled her hips and they were one. They moved more like partners dancing. She kissed him sensually and he pulled her closer till he felt like he might melt into her. Mikasa Ackerman was his life.

****************

_The flames were high and the only light came from them in the darkness. The sound of a helicopter’s blades pierced the wind blown hot tongues hisses. There was nothing but smoke and devastation. Levi looked into the fire, his profile looked to be cut out of black felt. His lips were bloodied from his nose. His eyes were open, so grey, not a hint of blue. Just like glass reflecting the bright yellow curves of light in front of him. He was frozen in time, not a breath too heavy or too light. He was scared. A bead of sweat rolled down the side of his face._

_It was like the scene panned out slowly, slowly like death. It became wider till the flames grew to fit the ever expanding space. Levi turned his head to the side, the flames made him a punctuation to their story. His voice was awed, terrified, “Eren?” It was short, hushed, his voice broke. It continued to expand and then Eren slowly came into view, his back stained with an upside down triangle of sweat. His shoulders rolled back, he sighed, his body slumped. He turned his head slowly towards Levi. His smile was hair raising as it was revealed. His eyes were white, not a trace of anything else. Levi’s mouth opened in a strangled scream._

***

**A sudden gasp of fear, involuntary inhalation of cold breath.**

Gisela opened her eyes and Judah pulled her closer, “Gigi, calm down.” Gisela blinked, covered in sweat, “I saw,” “I know.” “This time you-” “It was so scary.” Gisela stared at the ceiling and then started to cry, “I don’t want to see things anymore.” Judah pulled her closer, “I know. What can I do to help?” She was still crying, “I love you.” He was tearing up, “I love you, too.” They held each other and waited for the sun to come up.


	160. Wicked Men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween! It's November by this clock but I'm still awake so for me it's still Halloween.
> 
> I also started a new fic about vampire Levi and Armin and of course with Erwin and Eren because I love them all. I'm not sure if it'll be any good.
> 
> I just hope this chapter is good for you all and that it has some scary parts. 
> 
> I hope you are all well and I think you are all wonderful!

”In those days went there out of Israel wicked men, who persuaded many, saying, Let us go and make a covenant with the heathen that are round about us: for since we departed from them we have had much sorrow.” 

“So this device pleased them well.” 

“Then certain of the people were so forward herein, that they went to the king, who gave them licence to do after the ordinances of the heathen:” 

“Whereupon they built a place of exercise at Jerusalem according to the customs of the heathen:” 

“And made themselves uncircumcised, and forsook the holy covenant, and joined themselves to the heathen, and were sold to do mischief.” 

*************

The road was long and bumpy. Nothing but the shadows of trees laid bare for winter on the sides of the highway. They were white, hollow like husks. Black bands of bark were forming around them but there was nothing alive about them. They were just black and so queer, they looked like trees that should be in forests far, far away. The air was cold in the car despite the heater being on. Clouds of white breath fogged up the side of the glass that Armin laid his head on. Eren sat in the back with his hands in his lap. A picture of his parents in them.

Levi looked at Erwin’s head, traced his neck and his shoulders. He saw how they pulled off the highway onto a shoulder that led them along a deserted stretch of highway dotted with rusty cars and abandoned farmhouses. He had seen Erwin put on the small star of David Levi had gotten Zev. Zev must have given it to his father to wear. Zev was an intuitive child. But, what would it do for them?

Armin sat up, “Over there.” He pointed and Erwin made a short sigh of affirmation before quickly turning, crossing the left lane and off into the grass where a road of stones and dirt awaited them. The trees were much closer to the car now, they looked like bars. Levi swallowed, “These trees…” Eren nodded, “Irgendwas hier….stimmt nicht.” (Whatever is here….it isn’t right.) Armin started to pull at the collar of his shirt and then he began to lightly sweat, “Looks like the forest they made me wait in….in the past like...at Auschwitz.” Levi felt like screaming.

They were approaching without lights, without much hope. They were four people, nothing more. “What will happen when you get in?” Armin and Erwin looked out the glass and their eyes were rimmed red, “They’ll know we’re not alone or at least they won’t trust it. Then, they’ll try to separate us. We’re not sure exactly but we have a few things thought out.” Erwin pulled the car over and parked it, “We’re here.” There, through the trees a long way away, stood a wall with gates that were made of gold colored metal. “That is new.” Erwin said suddenly and Levi snorted, “They’ve created a walled city. How fitting.” They opened their doors and got out of the car in the cold night, illuminated only by a half crescent moon. 

*************

”And after two years fully expired the king sent his chief collector of tribute unto the cities of Judah, who came unto Jerusalem with a great multitude,” 

“And spake peaceable words unto them, but all was deceit: for when they had given him credence, he fell suddenly upon the city, and smote it very sore, and destroyed much people of Israel.” 

“And when he had taken the spoils of the city, he set it on fire, and pulled down the houses and walls thereof on every side.” 

“But the women and children took they captive, and possessed the cattle.” 

“Then builded they the city of David with a great and strong wall, and with mighty towers, and made it a strong hold for them.” 

“And they put therein a sinful nation, wicked men, and fortified themselves therein.” 

”They stored it also with armour and victuals, and when they had gathered together the spoils of Jerusalem, they laid them up there, and so they became a sore snare:” 

“For it was a place to lie in wait against the sanctuary, and an evil adversary to Israel.” 

“Thus they shed innocent blood on every side of the sanctuary, and defiled it:” 

************  
 _The sound of gravel crunching, crunching, crunching. A sudden very bright light from on top of the wall,_ “Stop!” Men came from behind the gates, guns slinging at their sides, “Put your hands up! You have no business here. Or do you?” They walked up to Erwin and Armin and shoved them back, a flashlight was produced, “Who are you?!” “I am.” Erwin said commandingly and the men seized up with much hesitation, “Who?” It was shaky and scared, “I said, I am. I am your king, your messiah. I was born of the mother and my father was a seedless man. I am who I am. Erwin Ziv Smith.”

The man dropped his gun, “You're. …..oh, I did not know. Who is he?” “This is my husband, Armin.” “Why have you returned to us!? We thought that you hath forsook us!” Erwin smiled most kindly, his eyes were warm and compassionate, “We are here, “ he paused to look at Armin and smile while Armin took his hand lovingly, “to come home.” 

The man's walkie talkie beeped and he picked it up explaining the situation. Armin leaned into Erwin, more lovingly than before. “But, your majesty, how do we know you are sincere?” Armin pulled out passports and money documents, “Because we're prepared to turn over everything, our fortune and our identities, everything.” The man took the papers and his face was priceless, “This…..this is so much…” “We've been doing this a long time in the hopes of returning with a sizable sum to help fund future revelations. It's not going to be cheap.” The man got back on the walkie talkie and they were taken inside.

Armin’s face was blank as they walked among the strange and nearly abandoned compound. It was nothing like what Erwin had described with israeli dances, bonfires, and songs. There were toys in a makeshift open air day care but no children. That was to be expected it was cold and dark. Erwin stayed close to him and they soon entered the main building where hallways led to other hallways and soon Armin had no idea where they were in the winding maze. 

They came to the chapel and saw Marilyn’s statue at the front. Erwin’s body tightened and Armin saw a figure move from the shadows wearing a white fox face, “I always knew you’d come back.” Erwin sighed, “I needed time. I didn’t know how to handle things. I needed to know more.” The man moved to stay in the shadows, “And now you bring your partner.” Armin thought his voice was familiar, “Do I know you?” The man’s body language shifted, “I taught you when you were little. I’ve been watching you very closely, Armin.” Armin tried to keep him calm, “Why?” “Because you were always so innocent. You never knew what was inside of you. There is a sweetness,” he sounded nostalgic, “about you that reminds me of Marilyn.”

Erwin tried to move closer but the man blocked them, “Just have a seat in the pews. Father will stand.” The father moved forward, “Erwin calls me Uri. It is fine. You can call me Uri as well, Armin. Of course, you know that we can’t fully believe you until you’ve proven yourself. The money and passports, that’s a start. But, times are tough right now. I see you’ve not brought your children.” Armin shifted, “Children shouldn’t be uprooted. I mean, they’re fine where they are. We hope to reunite with them but we had to be sure that this was a welcoming place for them.” 

Uri sat on the alter slightly, “Why wouldn’t we welcome the children of the king of kings?” Uri then stood and put his hands together, “But, I will be honest, until your children are here we cannot trust that you are sincere. They must be here. The princes and princess belongs to us. We must enter them into the covenant. We've seen your oldest son and we know that he is the one.” Armin and Erwin didn't like that and they would never bring their children here, “Of course, how do we get started?” Erwin’s tone was chipper and honest sounding. Uri smiled though they couldn't see it, “Firstly, the ritual slaughter of the unclean and secondly a sectioning off of the bridegrooms. You will be married here for all to see and then we shall have more rituals that will bond and heal us as a tribe. All we have are each other. Let us transcend the impure and imperfect. Let us become a strong nation.”

Armin and Erwin were then taken to rooms where they were made to seperate and srtip bear. A strange spray was administered and then new clothes made of white cloth were handed out to them. Armin wasn’t liking where any of this was going. They were separated and Armin was brought into a room with a young woman. 

She was nervous despite the brave face. Armin thought she looked like him, “Because I’m your cousin.” Armin blinked, “I didn’t say anything out loud.” “You didn’t have to. I know we look alike. Alma was my mother. She gave birth to me and they got really mad. I have absolutely nothing to do with her. They wouldn’t let me. She said she hated her other daughter but not me. She just felt bad for me and even that she loved me.” “why did she hate her other daughter?” “Because, she betrayed her.” “How?” The girl paused, “She learned how to play the game. Now, instead of dismantling it, she rewrites it most severely.”

Armin sat down slowly on the small metal chair, “I was told this was a happy place.” She looked at him, her face starting to change, she wasn’t able to control it very well, “This is not a happy place.” Her whispered words sent chills down his spine, “It was never what it seemed and now….it is even more horrific now than before.” Armin took a deep breath, “Why?” She wiped her face, “Because we are being punished. I mean, they say it’s a test and that those who trust in God will survive but I don’t think that’s true.” Armin wanted to know more, “I don’t follow.” She wanted to say more but then the door opened, “Elianna, come now. The father needs your help.” She went pale and stood up, “I hope to see you again soon, Armin.” He nodded and when the man left she whispered, “and maybe learn what it’s like outside of this place.” 

***

Armin waited and waited but no one came for him. He couldn’t just sit there and so he tried to open the door. It was locked, a key code. He pressed his face against the wall but then suddenly there was thought that he found most amusing. He pushed and then punched the drywall, opening the wall to reveal the electrical box. He disconnected the wires and short circuited the lock. When he got the door opened he smirked. _Where are Eren, Erwin, and Levi now? Actually, no, I want David to witness me do bad ass shit like this._ He moved down the halls quickly, trying to blend in. The white was covered with his leather jacket he pulled out of a bin he passed, _assholes, this is real leather._

He tried to step into the two wolves lightly, not lose himself completely. He saw no cause for it yet. But, as he came to one of the winding hallways he noticed that there were sections quarantined off. He saw the children’s hallway and treaded carefully. The lights were dimmed and flickering, his boots squeaked on the floor, there were little pieces of artworks from the children on the wall falling away as he came to the end. He looked through the glass windows of what were supposedly classrooms. He paused before one of the doors and carefully, slowly looked inside. What he saw made his resolve snap. _There will be blood._

***

Erwin was now talking to Uri through a screen, “Uri, is there a reason that we can’t speak in person?” “We are, my child.” “Without a screen. This is not a very personable way to have a discussion.” “It’s fine, Erwin.” “I guess so….. since we already know each other.” He started to to chuckle and the atmosphere changed, “How has the plague affected your way of life?” Erwin paused, “Not that much, thankfully. I, of course, have created whole departments for the research.” “What have you discovered?” “That it is more than likely old strains our bodies have never encountered that has been disturbed.” “And are there any breakthroughs?” Erwin treaded lightly, “Only a few but not really anything we’ve been able to monopolize on. RW made the vaccine.” 

Uri sighed, “Do you remember Jeeter?” Erwin’s blood ran cold, “Yes.” “He was my son. I know you asked if I had children and I said not that I know of but that was only half a lie. I have many children and biologically I do too.” “How many?” “I’d say….at least 100.” Erwin’s mind was exploding, “How?” “Women, me, I mean, it’s a commandment to procreate. Also, Rod and Adam failed at producing enough and I’ve always been the one that had to carry on the line. Marilyn was extremely fertile, you know. That’s rare. A lot of women since the first life have a hard time. Also, I only beget male children.” “Only male?” “Yes.” “Have you ever had a daughter?” “Daughters are sacred.” Uri said with much emphasis, “And out of the 100 only one or two this lifetime.” 

Uri shifted, “We need you to bring your children here before we can continue, before we know you’re serious. We also can no longer allow the others to live. They won’t come with you here and you know that. Levi and Hanji are too dangerous and your father is a menace.” Erwin’s head jerked up, “Zadkiel? What about him?” Uri gave a short laugh, “Don’t you know where your father has been going? He leaves for long periods of time and you don’t ask?” Erwin treaded carefully, “He’s a loner. My son, Tuvia, is just like him like that. I won’t ask a grown man where he goes.” 

“As king, you should and you will. He’s been picking off members of this family, assassinating them since he came back.” Erwin wanted to hug Zadkiel because what else did he expect from that angry old soviet man? “And I have to say this as well,” he moved in his chair, “here is the only place that will be safe for your children. There are trials and tribulations here. There is going to be another plague soon and here these walls will protect them. We are sure that God will protect us. RW is working on a vaccine for it as we speak.” “Who controls RW?” Uri shrugged, “I think you can figure that out yourself.” Erwin smiled, “Well, if that was so…”

Erwin thought about it, “If there is a plague coming, then how can a vaccine be underway? The virus specifically must show itself for study.” There was yelling, a great commotion, “Let’s just say, God always provides a way.”

****

Levi and Eren split up once inside the walls. Levi worried constantly about Eren and what was going on with him. He ran from hut to hut, for these houses were nothing more than huts in his opinion. There were plenty of people there but not as many as Erwin had said were originally. He assumed the sickness had destroyed their numbers. He was running, running through the tall grass left uncut. He stumbled when his foot hit stone and then more and more till he fell on his hands and knees painfully. He hissed. He looked around and then started to push the grass apart. Squinting in the low light only offered by the mood he saw crosses on the stones. And then he smelled it. It set his body on fire. This place was a portal to hell and he wanted to get away from it.

He stood up and saw the men pushing the carts towards the building where low amounts of smoke billowed into the night sky. They must only burn them at night. Levi wanted to throw up. He wanted Eren safely with him and away from those fires. Someone was on his back and a blade went between his shoulder and rib. Levi grimaced and turned, elbowing them in the face, while he slid his hands down from the man’s bicep to his wrist. He twisted it, sliding up to catch the knife when the man’s hand reflexively dropped it. The man head butted Levi and knocked him back but Levi plunged the knife into his throat killing him.

More men were lurking and he prepared to fight them all by himself. Levi was now alone in the pit again.

***

Eren moved through the building after fighting his way in. He was in search of something, something thumped in his chest and his stomach felt odd. He felt like there was something buzzing inside of him. He wanted nothing more than to destroy this place and get out of there. He went down the winding hallways and stopped where there was a shrine to Marilyn. She stood beautifully, well crafted and adored. But, he missed his mother. Carla had no statues. She was dead and she was gone and she’d never become the idol of a cult. Eren’s angered welled up in him. He hated everything, he hated everything, he hated, _a cold hand on his shoulder._

“Do you know who Frieda’s sister was in the original life?” Eren turned and couldn’t believe his eyes. Marilyn stood in the flesh, “No, I’m not in the flesh, Eren. I’m just….somewhere not crossed over. And you’re having a break down so I thought I’d just slip right on inside of your mind to talk to you.” Eren’s mouth was very dry, “I want answers.” She snorted, nodded with a very Armin look of “I know” or “bet you do.” She sat down and sighed, “Carla was Frieda’s half sister. Your father in the original life was the other king’s son. There was a time in war when he was lost and wandered around in his titan form until landing outside of the walls where Hannes found him. This took Kuschel and I a lot of lives to figure out. But, your mother was a product of Uri and an unknown woman. She died but before she did she gave her child to Carla’s parents in the original life. They loved her and she was happy. Uri let her stay because of it. He’s not all that bad compared to the others, honestly.”

“But,” Eren began, “I...there was another king outside the walls?” She inhaled sharply, “Oh, you have no idea about all of that, do you?” “No.” Eren was shaking, “You might as well sit.” He did and she told him of the kings and how his father was a once forgotten prince. “When he started curing sicknesses and found out that his wife had been adopted they came to him.” “Who?” “Uri, Rod, Adam, they all went.” Eren’s brow furrowed, “You were already dead. How do you know?” “Kuschel wasn’t yet and then her brother Kenny, you know, he is a recurring figure in our lives. He won’t be coming back for a while. He finally passed over. He had been sitting in the forest with me.” Eren swallowed, “I don’t understand.” She blinked and he felt suddenly very afraid, “Judah.” 

All the sound went out of ears and then suddenly it was back, high pitched white noise. “Eren, you have the ability to use the coordinate because in the original life your mother had the ability and your father did, too. While Uri is not your mother’s father in this life you still have the ability through years of lineage. That is why your father made you what you are. He said “he’s the son of a great man.” That was true but you were better than he was and you had no idea. Because you were ordinary in the original life you were chosen to be extraordinary in the ones that followed. Armin controls his part of the coordinate out of fear, anxiety, love, helplessness, a survivor's perspective.”

“Armin is always working from a source of defensiveness even when he seems to be on the offense. You, you’re always ready for a fight. So,” She took his hand, “when it’s there, when the time comes, _fight._ Use it and embrace it. The first time will be the hardest, the control of the original king will try to take hold but fight him, Eren. Don’t let him overcome you. It’s now or never. If you learn, you and Armin can work together. Do it not for yourself but for you children. They will need this knowledge more than ever.”

She was gone and he had to leave the sanctuary in order to keep searching for whatever information he could. He opened the door and ran into a sturdy chest. “Who are you?!” Eren slammed his elbow up into his face before pulling his knife out and fighting the man to the death. More men came down the hall and Eren growled, “Bring it.” He rushed them, slamming into them and slashing feverishly. Eren dogged one but another hit him with the butt of a gun. It went off and he grimaced but it only grazed his shoulder. He ripped his jacket off and used it to blind one of them while suffocating him while the others tried to come at him. He wondered why they weren’t shooting him. They had guns, why not use them?” 

He was trying to overcome the last two when their walkie talkies went off, “898.” They literally started running for their lives. Eren was standing in the hallway of blood and bodies confused and blinking. He took off after them running like a mad man despite the increasingly ominus feeling he had. There was no one living here. He was sure of it. Inside, something was very wrong.

When he turned the corner he was shocked to find himself back at the sanctuary. He ran again and then ended back up there. He kept running but he couldn’t find his way back. He entered the room again hoping for Marilyn but this time it was his mother. She stared at him, “Eren, for once, don’t talk and just listen to me. You can’t trust your eyes, you can’t trust those eyes. Only your real eyes.” He didn’t understand and he was crying, stepping towards her slowly, “Momma, I-” “You will feel it. They can’t...they’re almalak!!” She was sobbing, “I didn’t know, Eren. I didn’t know! I DIDN’T KNOW!” She was screaming and he just wanted her to shut up and hold him. He wanted her to hold him, hold him. _A gunshot._ “MOMMA!”

There was a man in the corner who walked forward, “Son, just come here and it’ll be all okay.” Grisha stepped out of the shadows and Eren was doubled over, looking at his mother on the floor. Lifeless and pale. He heard him step closer and Eren’s hands were on the stone as he crawled forward, short gasps, his lungs burned, his eyes stung, his entire body felt like breaking. He grabbed Carla, her blood soaking into his clothes. He cradled her and sobbed violently.

The reds, blues, and whites bathed the room in distant despair. The stained glass windows showed Abel and Cain, Isaac and Ishmael, Jacob and Esau. They were there around him. Marilyn stood in the middle of the room while he screamed. It echoed through the cement cold room. Cherry red stained pews were his audience. “Eren, just let her go. Come with me. We can make this right. We can go to our secret place.” He was still choked up, “Where?”

Grisha squated down, “You know, where I took you all those years ago.” Eren stopped breathing for a second, “No,” his voice hard, “I don’t remember, dad. Remind me.” He looked up at Grisha and there was a tense moment, “In Florida.” Eren stared, “I don’t have what you need.” That was true. Around a sleeping Nikko’s neck rested the key. Grisha seemed angry and Eren looked at him closer, “Why aren’t you upset? Why did you kill momma?” He stared, “If we go to our special place I’ll tell you.” Eren kept staring, mind breaking apart. He looked down at the floor and she was gone, she was gone.

He turned back to Grisha and saw the faintest of a birthmark near his lip. _You are not my father. But,_ , the man on the tape who shot Carla was not Grusha but someone who mooked like Grisha, “ _ **You killed my mother.**_ ” A man who looked like Grisha….a man who looked like Grisha…...a man who would be his kin. Grisha tried to look sympathetic, “Eren, son, I had too. She wasn’t right.” Eren saw him take a step back, spooked, “No, you’re the one that’s not right.” Eren stood, eyes changing, buzzing in his gut, the urge for blood, the urge to kill _every single last one of them,_ “My parents are dead and you will be, too. All of you.”

************

”And there was very great wrath upon Israel.”

*************

Fire, fire everywhere. People were screaming locked in their rooms. Levi watched it in horror. There was an explosion. He had no idea how this had gotten so out of hand.

When Armin was running towards him screaming he thought that it was all over. He thought they were going to die soon, by bullets. But, when he saw a horde of people, people who looked like zombies he actually started to laugh. Levi had to laugh at such ridiculous shit as that. Armin was petrified and had a face mask on and another in his hand, “THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG!” _No shit, mami. Look at the zombies. Zombies….this is how we die! I should have known. Well, I did always think Erwin would eat bad sushi. I don’t trust it. It isn’t cooked!_ “PUT THIS ON! DON’T LET THEM TOUCH YOU!” They were crazed, violent, but they had these looks on their face and that’s what truly made his skin crawl. 

Levi looked at the crematorium and then pulled Armin with him.

 _Bursting through wooden doors, floor made of dirt, hay in the corners, rafters of metal and wood, an old farmhouse turned morgue. There were wheelbarrows of corpses, they followed them to the end of the line._ The twenty or so people behind them followed aimlessly, ruthlessly. Armin was on Levi as Levi opened the fiery crematorium doors. His entire body shivered, he wanted to vomit. He was terrified, he was having an attack. Armin was pressed against him, nose between his shoulder blades, “What if they don’t go in?” Levi stared at the flames, “I love you.” Armin shuddered, “I’ll stand and then jump out of the way, you’ll shut the door. We’ll pick off those who don’t go in and try to get out through the door.” “I love you, Armin.” “Shut up, I love you too.” 

Armin stood between the large metal doors shaking, “I’m ready.” Levi opened the door and they rushed in, Armin’s eyes were so wide open that Levi wanted to simply die at the thought he might get pushed into those flames with them. Armin waited, they were close, so close, one grabbed him as he tried to jump, it’s mouth opened and tried to bite down between his shoulder and neck. He pushed it into the fire but another was right there, then _BAM_! Levi shot him and ran to grab Armin shooting a few others that got to close.

When they got outside they tried to find a safer area. Sirens were going off and then, _BAM_ , another explosion and then the flames that rose high into the sky. There was a scream that made Levi and Armin fall to their knees. More screams but nothing like that one. Armin had the wind knocked out of him, “That was Eren’s titan scream!” “Do you think?!” “WE DON’T HAVE TIME! I HAVE TO FIND ERWIN! WAIT HERE AND I’LL FIND EREN TOO!” Levi waited in the grass near a low lying wall. He wanted them to get out of here. There was another explosion and then he watched as Eren emerged, pulling a corpse behind him. He then removed his gun and shot any and all who ran out of the fire. It was like watching himself back at the pits. 

Eren eventually stood in the grass and watched as it all went up in flames. Levi approached him cautiously. For not the first time he was hesitant about his beloved husband. He stood next to him and then looked around at the destruction.

The flames were high and the only light came from them in the darkness. The sound of a helicopter’s blades pierced the wind blown hot tongues hisses. There was nothing but smoke and devastation. Levi looked into the fire, his profile looked to be cut out of black felt. His lips were bloodied from his nose. His eyes were open, so grey, not a hint of blue. Just like glass reflecting the bright yellow curves of light in front of him. He was frozen in time, not a breath too heavy or too light. He was scared. A bead of sweat rolled down the side of his face.

It was like the scene panned out slowly, slowly like death. It became wider till the flames grew to fit the ever expanding space. Levi turned his head to the side, the flames made him a punctuation to their story. His voice was awed, terrified, “Eren?” It was short, hushed, his voice broke. It continued to expand and then Eren slowly came into view, his back stained with an upside down triangle of sweat. His shoulders rolled back, he sighed, his body slumped. He turned his head slowly towards Levi. His smile was hair raising as it was revealed. His eyes were white, not a trace of anything else. Levi’s mouth opened in a strangled scream.

Eren’s eyes went back to silver and then the green started to bleed in, “When wicked men took the walled city, the sons of Matthias took it back. The Maccabees did what was right. The Maccabees saved Jerusalem.” Levi was shaking, “And you’re Judas?” Eren shook his head, “No, but one of the children is.” “What’s happened to you, Eren?” Eren was going to speak but then there were lights, helicopters, the grass spread out, pushed down by the wind. Armin and Erwin were running, “We have to go!” Armin had some sort of handheld device, “WE HAVE TO GO!” Erwin looked horrible and they didn’t have time.

_Running, running so quickly. Gravel, the sound of it beneath boots. Cement, cold and rough, Their hands scraping looking for purchase. Rubber soles on the cement. Bodies moving up the wall and over. More running, limping from the fall, bones fractured, bruises forming and ligaments stretching. Armin’s finger found the button and then, Boom! They were trying to avoid the trees, branches hitting them in the face, slapping them, scratching them. Then they stopped, eerie feeling around them._

And then there was nothing but black, isolation, terror, and hopelessness. 

Armin was alone, his hands trying to grab for Erwin, he was crying, terrified, he couldn’t move. Lips on the back of neck, “I found you, little bird.” Abulafia’s rancid breath.

Erwin was alone, looking for Armin. When he heard Armin scream he turned around and there she was, the woman with the blood curdling scream. Her white dress tattered, her mouth opened widely, too wide. Erwin screamed along with her.

Levi was shaking, he pissed himself. There it was, before him, a black eyed Armin, no white, black veins around his eyes, “I am the devil.”

Eren’s mother found him, put him in her arms, “They cannot live, not one of them. NOT ONE. Slay them all, the old, the weak, the children, the women, all of them Eren. They cannot live. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you…”

***

When she caught up to them leaving in the car she paused. They needed a way to spin this and spin it fast. She stood on the dirt road, her face grim, “Ymir, we need you to secure the area.” She turned around and went back to the site that the world would be talking about for weeks.

******

Erwin kept his mask on and wouldn’t let anyone touch him. Levi drove, his nerves fried, “Erwin, what’s wrong?” “Uri was sick. He bit me.” Armin jerked his head, “What!?” “He bit me when we were fighting. He wouldn’t let me go. He wanted the kids.” Levi’s voice was pained, “I have to quarantine you. You might turn like they did.” “They’re not fucking zombies.” Eren said it bluntly, “But, maybe so...they’re titans. Well, they were supposed to be but they didn’t turn. I don’t know what’s happening.” Levi was freaking out, “I need you to keep your mask on, not touch anything, NOTHING.” The drive was so tense no one spoke. Levi pulled up to the hospital and went inside. When he returned with others in hazmat suits Erwin panicked, “Armin…” “Just go, Erwin. Don’t freak out.” 

Erwin looked so scared that Armin almost reached out to touch him but Levi was there, “Einayim sheli, please. I am afraid.” Levi was, he really was and it made both Armin and Eren start to really panic, “Levi!?” Erwin got out and Armin was crying, “He’s going to be okay, right? He’s going to be okay?” Levi pulled him along and gave Armin a look he reserved normally for Zev. It made Armin and Eren even more upset. Then, they came for them. It was like the Great Destroyer all over again.

*****

Erwin was sick but Levi was using everything he could to fight it. He thought he caught it soon enough and the blood from Zev was most promising. Gisela’s blood may have affected Zev’s and Zev’s was now helping Erwin. Eren and Armin were released after two days to go home. Armin wanted his kids and when he entered they were waiting and they swamped him. He cried hugging them, “Vati missed you all. Come lay with vati and watch cartoons!” “YAY!” They were so happy to have a parent back. Eren felt Nikko and Ezra around his legs and he cried, kissing them. But, Mikasa appeared with Judah and Gisela looking strangely. Gisela wouldn’t look at her baba, “Gigi, why won’t you look at me?” Levi came in after them, “I need to change, I wanted to see the kids…” He paused seeing the odd sight, “She won’t look at me.” He blinked walking over to Mikasa, “Giselaka, why won’t you look at baba?” Judah squirmed and she looked cautiously at Levi, “Aba?” ‘Yes, schatzi?” “Are baba’s eyes okay?” His blood ran cold, “What?” “Are they not white anymore?” “How...how….do…” “Gisela sees things.” Judah said looking up at him, “I see them sometimes. I was scared. Baba had white eyes….you screamed.” 

Levi nodded, “Yeah, his eyes are fine.” Eren looked disturbed and so did Mikasa. She heard David and he came in to hug his brother, “Achki!” Eren eventually got his daughter to look at him and then he picked Judah up, Levi taking Gisela. “Baba missed you.” Judah buried his face in his neck, “Stop leaving.” “Sorry, little lion. Baba loves you so much.” “Mmmloveyoutoooooo.” Eren chuckled, “Thanks. I know that hurt.”

Armin and Eren settled in, checking on their kids. David and Mikasa were still there, Hannahlore and Keita happy to be staying over longer. They were keeping up with the news and such. Mikasa handed Armin an envelope eventually, “A man….handsome….he came by.” Armin knew it was One Eye, “Thank you, Mikasa.” She nodded, “I’ll go to the hospital and check on Erwin for you. Get some rest. David’s made some sufganiyah donuts.” Armin smiled, “I love you.” She kissed his cheek and he prepared himself to sit down and read the letter.

But not tonight.


	161. Cough

Erwin sat behind the glass and coughed violently, “Levi, I’m going to need you to hurry up. I’ve got kids I need to hug and play with.” Levi snorted, pressing his face against the glass. He had the clipboard in his hands. It’d been two weeks and he was stable but there was something lurking beneath the surface. Levi could feel it, “What did he look like again?”

Erwin groaned, “Ughhhhh Leeeeeeee,” he whined. Levi closed his eyes, “I know, I know but…” Erwin shrugged, “He had strange eyes. It was like there was a film over them, they were glassy. They, actually now that I think of it, look like when you’re really really wasted and it’s been a long night. Kind of pink around the edges, pupils dilated, strange green tint to blue eyes like how Armin looks, you know?” Levi smirked, “How we all look, Erwin. Not just Armin.” Erwin smiled, “How is Armin?” Levi frowned.

Armin was holding it together for his kids but he was worried. Eren helped him as much as he could but the kids asked about Erwin all the time. It only made it harder. “Yoni has been trying to litigate your way out of here.” Erwin laughed but then he became serious, “How is he?” “It’s rough, Erwin. He’s sad, he’s scared, he’s….normal. He’s reacting normally.” Erwin wanted to cry, “So, Yoni’s trying to bust his daddy outta jail. How is Aviva?” Levi sighed, “She dances, she sings, she plays with Gisela, and,-” Erwin finished for him, “Is attacked and provoked by Judah.” Levi’s brow furrowed, “Provokes my son and taunts him by trying to cut him off from his sister.” 

Erwin and Levi stared for a long time in silence. Clearly, they were on two sides of a fence here.

Erwin cleared his throat, “Tuvia?” Levi did think of something, “Tuvia has missed you a lot. He’s been spending more time with Zadkiel.” “When did my father get back?” Levi raised an eyebrow, “Father?” “Shut up, Lee.” “No, no, no,” Levi said honestly, “I’m happy you’re calling him that. He is dedka, you know?” Erwin rolled his eyes, “What do they do together?” “Read, mostly. They work on Russian and Polish, oddly enough. You’re falling behind, you know? We elected you for Polish!” Erwin barked a laugh, “I know but I’m in here.” “They look at buildings. He got him a Bauhaus picture book and well, Zadkiel is really very smart.” Levi looked at him and Erwin smiled softly. “And Zev?”

“Zev, he stays stuck to Gisela.” The tightness in Levi’s jaw alarmed Erwin something was very wrong, “What happened?” Levi was pained, his voice broke, “There was an incident.” Erwin’s body was hot, “What happened?” Levi sighed, “Gisela fell down the stairs. She got severely hurt.” Erwin was shocked, “She’s never!” “I know, I know...how do you think Eren and I feel?” Levi was defensive and Erwin backed off a bit, “What happened?” 

Levi blinked the tears from his eyes, “It was an accident.” “What happened?” “Zev slipped on the landing at the top and she was in front of him. He slammed into her and she fell down all those stairs. Forty something steps.” Erwin wanted to throw up, “Oh no….he…” “We’ve tried to make sure that they all know that accidents like this happen. It’s no one’s fault.” 

Erwin gave him a pointed look, “If she didn’t have the ability to heal….what would have happened?” Levi shut his eyes, a tear escaping, “She would have died or been paralyzed.” Erwin knew his son was smart and must have realized that, too. “Zev will never forgive himself.” “I know. Gisela just wants him to be okay. She has forgiven and forgiven. She’s four. She knows it wasn’t on purpose. But, he’s inconsolable. He won’t leave her. They sleep together. It’s so serious Judah doesn’t say anything about it.” “Judah doesn’t pitch a fit?!” “No, he sometimes sleeps with them. Judah is even worse off now. His behavior more volatile when it comes to her. He's jealous. But, other times he knows that this is what Zev needs. I don’t know. Our kids are so sensitive. They know so much about each other’s feelings. It’s crazy.” 

Erwin gave a snort, “We do that for each other. They’ve just learned from example.” Levi smiled, “True.”

********

When Thanksgiving was approaching, Erwin was doing work in his room at the hospital for the school when a tap on the glass caught his eye, “Nikko?” Nikko stood on his toes with Yoni. “Daddy!” They both smiled and he came over, “When can you come home?” Erwin sighed, “When aba says I’m not sick anymore.” Yoni frowned, “You don’t look sick.” “I know but I have a cough and I’m not okay.” Yoni didn’t like this, “I want you to come home and watch Law and Order with me. I miss reading with you and holding mock trials.” Erwin frowned, “I miss you so much, Yoni.”

Nikko took a deep breath, “You have a cough?” Erwin nodded, “Aba says that until they can get the bad stuff in my lungs to go away I can’t come home.” Nikko blinked, “Okay. I’ll fix you.” Nikko walked off and Yoni smiled, “Nikko is going to fix you.” Erwin blinked, “I…..am hopeful.”

***

“What are you doing?” Mila was standing in the doorway and Nikko started to blush. He was still extremely shy around anyone other than his parents but Mila was different. He knew her but for some reason she made his tummy feel like he ate too many pop rocks because Zev dared him. She also made his brain stop working. He thought she might be a witch or something but a pretty one because she was pretty and not evil and she was, “Nikko? Heeeeellllooooo?” She waved her hand and he blinked. Sometimes he froze and didn’t know it, “I’m fixing daddy.”

Mila stared, “How?” Nikko was looking around, “Well, our blood is special and I think that what he needs is something special but highly concentrated.” Mila was very interested, “So, maybe something that…...he can,” Nikko found the inhalers, “Breath in.” they said it at the same time. Mila’s face fell, “But he's been getting serum.” Nikko looked down, “In our medical books it says...we sometimes need to take risks and to test out even a wild hypothesis.” Mila was following, “What about a more concentrated serum that's made to be breathed in?” Nikko smiled, “Exactly what I was thinking. Can you help me make one of these but not already with medicine in it?” She smiled, “I can try.” Her eye glimmered just like her mother’s. 

She took the empty inhaler and her finger touched Nikko’s hand. 

His heart hurt really bad and his tummy now had dancing rhinos in it.

He was having a weird day. 

********

Nikko was nervous, “Do you think that's gross?” He said self consciously to Mila as she stared standing on the stool, “IT'S SO COOL!” Nikko smiled awkwardly, “You smile like uncle Levi.” She giggled returning to their work, “I think,” Nikko began shakily, “that...you…”

Mila understood, “That's okay, Nikko. I can tell them about it. I know you don't like to talk a lot.” Nikko nodded, “What you did with the compressor was amazing, Mila.” He loved to say her name and she tossed her hand in the air, “It was nothing! Momma always does stuff like this so I just learned from her.”

They had made a type of inhalation system that would increase aspiration more than a regular inhaler and offer a much more concentrated version of the serum, namely, Nikko’s own blood. It was two inhalers put together and they had a suggested regimen for Erwin to follow. Mila knew it would work and was confident. Nikko, as always, was reserved and cautious. 

They tested it and while Nikko sputtered and coughed, it was successful. Mila smiled even brighter, “This is a good thing, Nikko.” Nikko looked at her long brown hair, how it fell in large ringlets like a disney princess, her pretty red lips, her beautiful hazel green eyes, and her light dusting of freckles across the bridge of her nose. 

Nikko’s throat hurt, his eyes burned, his heart was off beat, his stomach felt like it dropped like when they went over a bump in the road when baba was driving too fast and rapping. He might have some sort of disease.

Mila took his hand and he felt like he was outside of his body, focused only on the fact that she was touching him.

He must seriously be ill. This is not normal behavior for anyone.

He’d asked Baba.

Oh, no.

He’d ask Aba or Vati.

Daddy was already very busy. He also just bought him stuff sometimes when he didn't know the answer to things. Daddy was silly and aba used the phrase “fiscally irresponsible.”

When they got to the window, the door was going to be opened by another person in a strange white suit. They paused, “Kids, don’t come any closer.” Mila knew that this was their chance, “Uh Dr. Zacharias wanted me to give you this.” She held the inhaler up, “It’s for him. You’re to give it to him for him to take.” They paused, “Why don’t I know that?” “Because,” she paused looking around and then Nikko finished, “Dr. Ackermann got some new test subjects in and she got distracted.”

They believed it and took the inhaler.

Erwin looked at it while Nikko and Mila stayed back, “I don’t know how to,” Mila cut in, “Twice. Take it twice.” Erwin blinked, “Oh...okay.” He sprayed it in his throat and then wheezed, “One more!” He did it again and then coughed, “Wow….that’s….wow!” Erwin looked at it and then back at the kids, “Where’s Yoni?” Nikko looked confused, “With you?” Erwin shook his head, “No...No, he left to find you two!” Mila made an “Eeek” face, “We’ll find him. Just keep doing it every hour on the hour.” Erwin squawked, “EVEN WHEN I NEED SLEEP?” The kids were running away and didn’t answer him.

*********

Yoni was in the atrium looking up at the glass when Hanji appeared, “What’s up, Yoni?” She was concerned he was by himself but didn’t want to start a panic, “When is my daddy coming home?” Hanji’s heart hurt, “Well, any day now we’ll find something that will fix him.” Yoni sighed, “I don’t know, Hanji. I don’t think that makes a lot of legal sense.” Hanji laughed, “Come on, let’s get some lunch.”

She sat them by the fountain inside the atrium with their lunches, “Yoni?” He drank some water, “Yes, Ms. Hanji?” She smiled, “Oh...Ms….” He smiled, laughing slightly, “Habit.” She bit into her sandwich and then talked with her mouth full of food, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” “A lawyer.” 

“Not a superhero?

“They are super heros.”

“How?”

“They can get people into and out of trouble.”

Hanji raised her eyebrows, “Legit. That logic is sound.”

“Hanji, do you miss uncle Mike?”

Hanji’s heart hurt so badly she almost swore he punched her in the stomach, “I miss him every second of the day.”

“I’m sorry. I’ve been trying to find him with Tuvia.”

Hanji’s mouth was dry, “What?”

“Well, we have been trying to collect evidence but...we’re really little and people won’t help us.”

“People?”

“People we call.”

“You do realize you’re five, right? How can you collect evidence? What are you doing?”

Yoni shrugged, “Just because I’m little doesn’t mean I’m not smart.”

Hanji snorted, “Well, if you ever figure it out let me know.”

He smiled, “Okay.”

Hanji poked his jello, “Come on, eat your Jello before the raptors do.”

Yoni gave her a confused and suspicious look, “What?”

She blinked, “The green jello?”

“What?”

“OH MY SCIENCE! JURASSIC PARK???” 

“What is that?”

Hanji started making screeching noises and all of the people in the cafeteria stared and Yoni got really embarrassed. “Hanji,” he sounded just like his daddy, “that’s quite enough.”

*****

Levi was sleep deprived and at his wits end. Gisela was all he worried about lately and nearly losing his little girl was causing him to be angry and rough with those around him at work. He didn’t have time for this shit anymore. He needed Erwin at home and to not come back to this hospital for a long fucking time.

He was checking blood, checking vitals, watching mutations, and nothing was helping him solve the mystery that was Erwin. It was like the virus has turned into a mold or fungus somehow. That was already hurting his brain. Then, it had set up shop in Erwin’s body and no one would know it unless he was at the hospital already. This meant that the virus was dangerous.

It’s goal was to lurk and have its host spread it in the air.

“Fucking shitty shit shit shit.”

The nurses were avoiding him. It was getting late and he needed to gather Nikko and Yoni up to take home. He found them and Mila where Erwin was. Hanji turned around, “I’m taking them home.” Yoni looked at Levi, “Lee?” Levi blinked, surprised. He’d never called him Lee and he sounded just like his father, “Yes?” “What’s Jurassic Park and why does Hanji like green jello?” Levi snorted, “Is Hanji going to show you this?” He nodded, “Then I won’t ruin it.” He smoothed his golden hair back, “You can talk about it with me after.” He hugged his legs and when Levi looked up Erwin was smiling.

But, his nose was bleeding.

Levi turned to Hanji and he knew she was aware, “Okay kiddos! LET’S GO! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” She took their hands and pulled them running down the hall while they all giggled and screamed.

“Levi, this medicine, I have a question.” “What?” “This medicine.” He held the inhaler up, “when I’m sleeping what do I do?” Erwin watched as Levi grew pale, “I don’t know what that is?” “The kids gave it to me.” “What?” “Yeah.” “Oh, God, Erwin I don’t know what’s going on.”

***************

Levi looked at the X Rays and couldn’t believe it. “Dr. Ackermann, your coffee.” He laid his pen down and then put his head on the desk. The nurse knew to leave. Levi’s lips were quivering. He started to cry.

***************

“Gigi?” Gisela was in her bed covered in a fur blanket with Judah pressed against her. Zev stood nervously at the door, “Zev?” She gave him a big smile and he felt goofy, “Hanji is here and she wants to show us a movie.” Judah looked disgusted, “We’re watching The Corpse Bride.” He grumbled and Gisela turned to him, “I think we could watch it. I mean, we’ve seen this a lot.” Zev watched as they wordlessly argued.

“I...really want you to watch it with me. I mean, a lot of people want to watch it with me but I’m...I’m gunna give you first dibs, you know? I’m really important. This is a really good opportunity for you to, you know, be seen with me.” He gave a smug and confident smile. Judah blinked, “You’re not a celebrity. She’s sitting with me.” Gisela rolled out of the bed, “Let’s go! I’ll sit with you both.” She went past him and when he looked at her going towards the stairs he and Judah seized up, “I...I….” Zev began and Judah nodded, “I know.” She turned, “Come on! Oh, um Zev?”

He snapped to attention like a dog, “Yes?!” “Will you grab my blanket? I’ll get cold.” Zev grinned a shit eating grin and Judah rolled his eyes, “OF COURSE I WILL RETRIEVE THE PRINCESS’ BLANKET! ALSO, YOU CAN ALWAYS SIT BY ME! I’M SO AWESOME AND WARM ALL THE TIME. I’M BASICALLY A HEATER LIKE BABA!” Judah walked forward, “You’re ridiculous.” Zev kept grinning, “I don’t care what you think as long as she likes me.” Judah turned his head, “She likes me the best!” “Well,” Zev paused thinking, “She hasto. You’re her brother. I like you, too.”

Judah blinked, “What?”

Zev blinked, “I like you, too.”

Judah blinked again, “Stop that.”

Zev grinned, “I loooooooove youuuuuu!” He pushed forward, arms stretched outwards to try and embrace Judah. Judah started to run, “Stoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop!” Zev cackled, “COME ON! DON’T YOU WANT TO HUG ME!? I’M AMAZING! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!”

Gisela rolled her eyes and saw Aviva at the bottom of the steps, “Gigi, come sit with me.” She smiled and Gisela came down the steps, “V, the boys are weird.” Aviva nodded, “They always are.” They held hands walking to the media room.

***

“WOW, GIGI LOOK AT THE GIANT EYEBALL!” Popcorn flew everywhere and Judah sneered, “YOU’RE MAKING A MESS!” 

Ezra picked up the pieces and put them in his mouth, “I think that the DNA they had would be neato to find in the back yard.” He was sitting with Cesare, “Whatever, the makeup is really neat.”

Tuvia was with Gio, “I think they could have built a better structure to house them.” Gio nodded, “Why don’t humans have wings?” 

Aviva was terrified and Judah was smiling about it, “STOP SMILING BECAUSE I’M SCARED YOU MEANIE!” Judah looked at her, glaring, “STOP BEING WEAK!”

Bianca and Lilly both hid their face in their pillows, “I’m scared.” Lilly said to Bianca who nodded, “Don’t be afraid, little sister. Alexi will protect you.” 

Alexi was smiling and Bellamy smirked, “I think that I’d be better suited for protection.” He looked at Mila and she smiled. 

Nikko sat quietly and when he wasn’t upset at the dinosaurs that were peaceful being hurt, he was focused on the fact that Mila was talking the most to Bellamy. Gisela looked over at him and she gave him a look of knowing.

*********

Erwin pushed Levi against the cabinets, he resituated Levi on his hips, his mouth was locked with his, breathing intense, sweating, and desperate. Levi’s hands ran up his back, around his shoulder, then his neck, and then into his hair, “Fuck, Erwin!” Erwin moved down his neck kissing and biting, “Oh, Levi, I’ve been fucking aching, dying to touch you.” He turned and threw Levi on his desk. Papers, books, a laptop, all of it fell on the floor and he didn’t give a damn.

Levi reached up, fingers pulling at buttons and and Erwin was doing the same, pulling Levi’s cock out of his pants, “I should be saving this for Armin.”Erwin said seriously, voice husky. Levi snorted, “I fucking _worked_ for this.” He pulled him down, kissing him while his hand went to Erwin’s fly, deftly unzipping and pulling him out so they could both stroke and tease each other to completion. They came, groaning, moaning, staining themselves. Erwin collapsed on top of him, “How?” 

His voice was breathy and labored, “How did you do it, Lee?” 

Levi kissed him hotly, “I didn’t.”

“What?”

“Nikko did. I called and talked to Mila and Nikko before they went to sleep. Nikko came up with it and I’m so fucking proud, I’m literally getting hard again just telling you.” Erwin let out a snort and laugh while Levi grinned so much he had to cover his face, “Is that wrong? It’s wrong, right?” Erwin started to cackle, “You’re such,” “NO!” “a Jew!” Levi hit his back, “What!?” Erwin nearly fell off the desk, barely catching himself as Levi held onto him, “Because, you’re like LISTEN ABOUT HOW FUCKING SMART MY SON IS!” Levi smiled, “He’s so smart. I’m so fucking proud.” Erwin smiled and kissed him again, “I love you, I love him, and I want to go home...like… _now._ ” 

**************

When Erwin came inside Armin screamed and started crying. He embraced him, attacking him with kisses and love. “Never leave me!” Armin was sobbing and Erwin comforted him as best as he could. Levi stared, he knew those words. Armin meant them just like he always had. Eren was excited, the kids were in bed. It was going to be better for them to find out in the morning but Erwin had to go look at Gisela after what he’d been told.

He opened her door and saw Judah pressed into her back. Zev was across from her with Aviva in his arms and the girls were in the middle sound asleep. He kissed them, stroked their hair. He turned to see Levi peeking in at him and then he came to bed with his own family. He was glad to be home and excited for the food that Armin and Eren would make for the upcoming thanksgiving.


	162. Judah and the police

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a super smol chapter for a little upcoming background needed for Judah. Tiny and set in the future.

Judah was in the holding room made of white cinderblock and glass when Levi got to the station, “Your boy let out all of the animals at that carnival.” Levi blinked, “Okay.” The man stared, “You gunna say something about it? Like, an apology?” The man was angry and Levi stood stoically. Then he got cocky and moved towards the man, “Why would I apologize? I didn’t do it. What’s your problem, old man?” The man clenched his fist, “Oh, yeah. I see where the kid gets it. He’s a smartass and you are, too.” Levi glared and the man hit the buzzer.

Levi saw Judah appear and he nicked his head towards the door, “His court date is-” “Not going to happen. Go to hell.” Levi took Judah out to the car and they got inside. He started the car and he couldn’t even handle the irony that his ten year old had gone to jail. “Judah,” he sighed heavily, closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose, “Why?”

Judah looked out the window ahead. He crossed his arms and scowled, “They deserved to be free.”

Levi rolled his eyes.

**********

The buzzer and a free Judah, _again_. 

Levi sighed, “Why?” Judah got inside the car, “They shouldn’t have kept working them like that.” Eren looked at him, “You know, I’ve always expected this from Ezra. But, what’s up with you and the animals?” Judah looked out the window, “Some people...they’re cruel to them.” Eren was uncomfortable, “Sometimes you’re not so nice to people, Judah.” 

Judah was twelve and Eren and Levi had been doing this for two years. Judah would do something, normally illegal, and they’d have to pick him up from fucking _jail._. It was like they couldn’t hold him anywhere else. 

Erwin was always livid and he wasn’t allowed to come any more. Armin was disappointed but sympathetic. Eren and Levi were at their wits end, “Animals are much nicer than people. People are the only creatures that are cruel to be cruel, baba. Animals hurt each other because they have to or feel threatened. Humans just….do what they want.” Judah looked out the window and the car was silent.

Eren felt the weight of it on his shoulders. It sounded like something he’d told Levi in the darkness of their room. It was private and apparently he’d passed it to his son. Levi reached over to take his hand for comfort. Then he sighed again, “You’re grounded.” Judah snorted and Eren gave a short laugh.

Judah only spoke Yiddish unless he had to with others outside of the family, “I didn’t know you were doing what the goyim do, aba.” Levi frowned, “Hush, we’re heading to shul.” “Why?” “You have bar mitzvah practice! What are you, crazy? Have you forgotten!? You’re becoming a man. I swear, I’m obsessed with you and I can’t understand why you’re not more excited!” Judah smirked, “Aba, you need to calm down. You’ll use up all the emotion you were born with if you’re not careful. You have a limited amount. You must conserve.”

Eren smiled, “Aba is very excited that you are being Bar Mitzvahed. Gisela has been planning her party for weeks but you, not a thing.” Eren said it dramatically and with a heavy dose of guilt.

Levi smirked, “Not a thing, not one thing. You’d think he didn’t care.” Eren gave him a look that said “oh yes,” “You know he must. He must care.” “Why must he care, ahuvi?” “He must care because his sister cares. Isn’t that right, Judah? If Gisela cares, you care.” He frowned, “You two are annoying.” Levi grinned and kissed Eren’s hand, “You’ll be so lucky to find an ahuvi like baba one day, Yehuda. Don’t be like that. We love you. We want the best for you.” Eren turned around to look at him, “We’re obsessed with you!”

*****

Judah was in the holding cell again and the man walked over, “You’re going to get it this time. You little punk.” Judah looked bored and it pissed him off even more, “You’re such trash.” Judah raised an eyebrow, his face cocky, “Really now?” Judah looked at the wall and then Levi was there. The buzzer rang and he walked out to hear the man yelling at Levi, “This is the fifth time he’s gotten in a fight this year alone! Not to mention all the past offenses AND I hear that boy's parents are going to sue!” 

Levi silently signed the papers and put the money down, “I see you’re still just as insufferable as before.” The man slammed his fist down, “He’s a future killer.” Levi sneered, that got him in the red, “Get out of my face, old man.” “Is that a threat?” Levi looked like he was going to stab him, “Where’s my son, you filthy pig?” Judah was there, “Aba.” 

Levi surged forward and the man scrambled back, “That’s what I thought. Old men like big talk.” He took Judah’s hand and they left. When they got in the car Levi couldn’t control it anymore, “Why!? Every fucking time I turn around, Judah! What was it this time?!” Judah kept his eyes on the floor but didn’t answer. Levi bit his lip, “You’re about to be fifteen and you’ve been to jail...I don’t even know….fiffteen or sixteen-” “Eighteen.” “-times. It was fighting again and I get it. Sometimes, kids fight. But, it’s always _you_ , Judah.” 

Levi kept driving, “I get that you were provoked those times at the Jewish Community Center. I get that. But, there have been times that I have no idea why you got into a fight and I know you don’t even know why either. But, there have been fights that you’ve been much more… _involved_ in.” Judah inhaled, “Gigi. They were grabbing and touching Gigi.” Levi closed his eyes, “I understand but did you have to hurt them that bad?” Judah was looking out the window, “When they touch my sister….they deserve what they get. When people talk about her, when they say disgusting things about what they want to do to her, and when they physically touch her then I can't control myself. It’s me that gets taken in but, aba, Zev has the same issue.”

Levi didn’t know if he believed that, “Judah, Zev is a lot like Nikko.” “No,” Judah began, “aba, Zev and I have an understanding. Nikko isn’t all that benign either.” Levi snorted, “Don’t even tell lies about your brother. Nikko is soft and sweet. Nothing wrong with that.” Judah looked over at him, “I don’t know what that life would be like.” Levi took a deep breath, “Me either.”

**********

Judah had really fucked up this time. Drugs, alcohol, a few girls, and a serious fight at a seedy drug lord’s house in Oliva. Judah was expecting Levi any second. They’d been fighting a lot and that’s why he’d left and done what he had. Levi and he were always fighting each other, maybe not yelling but it was there. It was a deep underlying nagging and arguing that he just couldn’t stop himself from doing. 

He heard the buzzer and walked out straight into the one person he never ever wanted to see in this place, “Get. In. The. Car. Now.” Erwin stood like a giant, eyes on fire, lips a grim line. Judah felt like he was a little child again. He quickly did as he was told and Erwin was on his heels, “GET. IN. THE. CAR.” _Oh shit, that’s Vati’s whisper yelling!_

Erwin grabbed him by the collar and nearly threw him in the car. He buckled him in like a criminal and then Erwin got inside, “I SWEAR TO GOD, JUDAH JAEGER! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!? YOUR ABA AND BABA ARE SICK TO DEATH! DO YOU EVEN KNOW THE LEGAL MESS YOU HAVE PUT US IN!? I AM THE-” “I’m so-” “NO! I AM NOT FINISHED!” He turned his head, hitting the breaks at the end of the road from jail at the intersection, “YOU LISTEN TO ME RIGHT NOW AND YOU LISTEN GOOD! I AM YOUR GOD! I GET YOUR PUNK ASS OUT OF TROUBLE EVERY SINGLE TIME SO THAT YOUR ABA DOESN’T SUFFER! HE HAS A BROKEN HEART, HIGH CHOLESTEROL, A HEART MURMUR, HE HAS LUPUS BASICALLY FROM ALL OF THE BULLSHIT YOU CREATE WITH YOUR HOT HEADED FELON WAYS! IT’S AS IF YOU WERE RAISED BY CHRETIENS AND NOT A LOVING UNTRADITIONAL POLYAMOROUS FAMILY OF STRONG AND ACCOMPLISHED PEOPLE.”

“DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND HOW LUCKY YOU ARE? WITHOUT US YOU’D ROT IN THERE! WORSE! YOU’D BE IN ANOTHER PRISON DOING HARD TIME AS SOMEONE’S BITCH IN CELL BLOCK 8! I MEAN, YOU ARE KILLING US! WE ALL HAVE CROHNS DISEASE, HEART DISEASE, INSOMNIA, IBS, GAS, TARTER BUILD UP, ALL OF IT WE HAVE ALL OF THE SICKNESS FROM YOU AND YOUR WAYS! WHY YOU THINK YOU NEED TO SOLVE EVERYTHING WITH A CLOSED FIST IS BEYOND ME! YOU WERE RAISED BETTER! VATI IS WEEPING RIGHT NOW! HE IS WEEPING AND WEARING SACKCLOTH AND ASHES! WHEN WILL IT BE ENOUGH? WHAT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY? WILL OUR DEATHS MAKE YOU HAPPY? THEN SO BE IT! WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH THAT IF KILLING US WILL BRING YOU PEACE THEN SO BE IT! WE ARE OBSESSED WITH YOU! BUT I AM PERSONALLY SO FUCKING DISAPPOINTED I WILL NEVER RECOVER! YOU KNOW BETTER!”

Erwin took a violent drink from his water. “JUDAH, honestly, what is wrong with you?” Judah was so ashamed and so guilty, “I don’t know.” He whispered and Erwin looked at him, “You don’t know. Well, that’s great. You don’t fucking know. I guess being a few weeks shy of sixteen doesn’t mean you know everything, now does it? Do you realize you could overdose and die? Do you realize that you could get an STD? Do you realize that you could get someone pregnant? That you could ruin your life by robbing yourself of all the opportunities that your parents work for! Honestly, you know that any child you have will be affected by your blood! God damn, you’re reckless and selfish. You don’t care about anyone.”

By the time they got home Judah was a hollow shell. Erwin was worse than jail. He’d kept on and on about it all. Erwin had a scary vein like Levi but it was in his neck and it was insanely purple when he was lit.

Judah ran upstairs and into Armin, “Judah,” he said with a humpf and grabbed him to keep him from running off, “Gisela is at the studio.” Armin knew that’s who he wanted and Judah was shaking, “Vati…” Armin sighed, “Daddy picked you up, didn’t he?” Judah nodded and Armin’s face dropped into a tired, knowing, frown, “Come on.” He took him to his shared room with Gisela and sat him down on the bed. They shared a room, a bed, everything. This is where he'd be most comfortable. 

Armin went into the bathroom and wet a rag with warm water. He wiped Judah’s face and they both pretended that the water was only from the rag, “Daddy loves you.” Judah shook his head, “No...he doesn’t. He’s right. I’m so fucking…..I’m….oh HaShem.” Armin sat down and took Judah into his arms. He laid them down and carded his fingers through his hair like when he was small, “Vati….” 

“What, little lion?”

“I love you.”

Armin smiled, “I know that’s hard for you to say. But….I’m not the only one you should say that to as easily as you do to me and Gisela.”

Judah started to really cry, “But, you’re the easiest one.”

Armin kissed his forehead, “Why?”

Judah didn’t want to say how he really felt so he said the next best thing, “Because you’re the prettiest.” 

Armin started to smirk and he felt Judah smirk, too. Armin chuckled, “Oh, yes. That is a fact.”


	163. Thanksgiving

Armin was dancing, singing, smiling, and for once just peacefully existing. Eren and he were making food for Thanksgiving while the children ran around the house. Cesare wanted to help Eren and he was standing on the stool next to him. Cesare’s hand reached forward but at the same time Commander ran under the stool and his hand was heading straight towards the boiling hot pot. 

Eren’s hand went between his and the pot, burning him horribly. Eren grit his teeth trying to not make any sound that would scare Cesare. He pushed his hand away, “OK! It’s okay.” Cesare saw the burn and started to cry, big tears welling up in his eyes, “Baaaaah-bbbbbbaaaaaahhhhhhhh!” Eren tried to soothe him, “It’s okay, it’s okay! I’m fine! I’m a grown up, it’s you that would have been really hurt! It’s okay!” Armin reached under the sink for the burn cream and rushed to Eren putting it on, “Okay, baba has creme.” Armin tried to sound confident while Cesare cried and cried. He was sobbing, ugly coughing and wheezing. Eren picked him up and Jean came running in.

“Is he okay?” Eren nodded, patting his back, “EREN! YOUR HAND!” Eren shook his head no, “Is going to be fine, right? It’s going to be fine, papa.” Jean felt ill knowing it was probably the result of him protecting Cesare. “It’s going to be fine. Baba is strong!” Jean took Cesare, “Baba is really strong. He’s fine.” Armin fussed around Eren some more and Eren snorted, “Armin.” His voice was a self satisfied whisper, “I can heal.”

Armin looked up at him, “Shut up, dummy. I love you.”

Eren stared at him and then smiled just like Carla, “Is that so?”

Armin smirked, “Yeah.” 

Eren kissed him, “This is why we’re the coordinate holders.”

Gio was laughing loudly as the kids jumped on him and played. Delaine was sitting with Levi drinking tea and talking while he braided Bianca’s hair. She said she like aba’s braids better than Marco’s and Marco was trying to not be too upset about. Hanji was sitting with him and they all agreed that Hanji was looking very nice. “Hanji?” Delaine looked over at her, “I like the new looks.” 

Hanji laughed, “Mikasa and Armin dress me.” Delaine smiled, “She’s a very attractive woman, isn’t she Levi?” Levi finished Bianca’s hair and looked at the table, “She’s an animal.” He managed with an awkward smile.

Hanji and Levi sometimes shared a kiss here and there. Levi felt bad about it. Levi also felt bad that sometimes he was happy she was here. He was a horrible person.

Delaine gave them a coy look, “Didn’t you two?” Hanji smiled, “Yeah but I mean, look at where we are now!” She held her arms out in a sweeping motion. Levi snorted, “She and Mike,” he paused, “they’re soulmates.” Delaine nodded and Hanji got quiet, “I wish he’d come home or at least….we’d find a body.” Delaine looked aghast, “NO! Don’t let your mind,” “I have to be realistic.” “AND HOW I KNOW.” Hanji blinked, “What?”

Delaine shrugged, “My second husband went missing, too.” Jean heard her and froze, “he just disappeared. We’ve never found him.” Hanji paused and then sighed, “Huh, that’s strange.” Marco came by and sat down with them, “Let’s talk about better things?” They all nodded and then there was a knock at the door. Levi made to get up, “I’ll-” “Nooooooo,” Erwin smiled, “I’ll get it. It’s probably Maxim and Ilya and the kids. They went to that Russian restaurant for breakfast and then ran some errands.” 

Erwin was dashingly handsome and he looked into the kitchen at Armin when he passed. Armin gave him a coy look and he winked. He opened the door and then paused. A [man](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/7c/0f/9e/7c0f9ed9b0f03c543112df8a7c88faf1.jpg) in very nice clothes, a little like what Erwin was wearing himself, smiled lifting a wine bottle, “Cheers!” Erwin smiled slightly, “Um, I’m so sorry but I don’t think we’ve met.” He extended his hand and shook it, “No, we haven’t. I know Armin. That’s who invited me. He knows I’m coming but he might have forgotten it. You were in the hospital and I’m sure it was a mess.” Erwin nodded, still politely smiling, “Well, yes, I’m Erwin. What’s your name and if you don’t mind me asking, where are you from?”

“My name is Michael Kohlhaas. I’m from Denmark.” Erwin snorted, “That’s your real name?” The man chuckled, “It is. I see you know of the man I’m named after. You would, I’ve read your books. I like them very much.” Erwin liked him alot and he asked him inside taking his wine bottle. When they entered Armin was pulling a cake out of one of the ovens while Eren ate the batter, “Ereeeeen.” Armin chided as he smirked around the spoon, “Wut?” Armin looked to see Erwin and then he dropped the cake pan, “Armin! Are you okay? Did it burn you?”

Eren got on the floor and looked, “Oh, well, we can save it. It didn’t break or anything.” He looked at Armin. He was shaking, “That...man.” Michael came closer, “Hello Armin, I brought wine. It’s nice to see you again. Thank you for inviting me. You knew I was traveling and this is very kind.” Armin looked at the kitchen knife and Erwin paused, “Armin,would you like help?” “Get out,” his voice was low, “this isn’t what the deal was.” Michael nodded, “You’re exactly right but, we face a common enemy.” He smiled and moved the knife away from Armin into the sink, “So, let’s just have fun. I promise I come only in peace. You asked for twenty years and that’s what you’ll get. We’re down to fourteen, anyway.”

***

Maxim and Ilya were fighting but silently. They wanted to ask Armin for a loan, “Who is the guy?” Ilya leaned over the back of the couch and Maxim pouted, “Dunno. He’s okay.” Zadkiel lowered his paper. Tuvia was asleep in his lap, “That’s a wolf not even wearing sheep’s clothing.” They blinked, “Why?” Zad frowned, “Why what?” Ilya shrugged, “Why not wear the clothes?” Zad gave a sharp sigh, “He’s a Reiss.” Maxim’s blood boiled, “What!?” Lilly came up to him, “Papa, can I sit in your lap?”

Maxim smiled, “Of course, Lilka.” She crawled into his lap with her pretty little dress on, “When is Hannahlore coming?” Maxim shrugged, “Any minute now.” “Mila and Bellamy are in Nikko’s room.” Maxim looked at Ilya, “Are you trying to tell me something?” “No, just Alexi is there too.” Ilya leaned over and kissed her, “Well, lucky for you, you’re here with the cool people!” She smiled and he kissed up and down Maxim’s neck, “Love me, Maxi.” Maxim rolled his eyes, “Tatti, back off.”

***

The table was set and the kids waited anxiously, “Aba, is baba taking us shopping?” Levi looked down at Ezra, “I don't know, love. Maybe. We have a guest today so we may be talking to him for a while.” Ezra smiled, hair messy, green eyes full of love, disheveled green sweater with a dinosaur on it. He hugged Levi and Levi smiled, “If we don't go, can I sleep with you tonight instead?” 

Levi picked him up kissing him, “Of course, love. You can always sleep with me.” Michael came over, “Wow, what a handsome son you have and a spitting image of your husband.” Levi smiled despite himself, “Ezra does look just like Eren. He loves animals, too.” Michael smiled, “Horses?” Ezra turned to look at him, “I love horses!” Michael pulled out his wallet, “I have many. Look.” 

The wallet was full of all sorts of money and cards but the horses were clearly his favorite thing. Levi looked over, “No wife?” Michael smiled sadly, “No, no, I think it must not be meant to be. It's a shame, really. I always wanted children and a family but, well, I'm not able to have blood children.”Ezra wasn't paying close attention, “You were born?” “I elected to have the surgery. I have mutations and it would be unwise for me to risk a child's life by passing them on. I dated a woman with two children once and another with one. I tend to look for a premade family, don't I?” He laughed and despite him being a literal threat to his life and family, Levi kind of liked him. 

They sat down to lunch and Michael told all of the children all about Denmark and they impressed him with some Danish. Tuvia and Nikko seemed extremely interested in him but Gisela and Judah sat quietly and as far away as possible. Zev sat near Aviva and they were quiet. Eren asked if anything was wrong and all of the Smiths and Ackermanns said their stomachs felt funny and they must have been really hungry. Michael seemed impressed by this and Erwin took note. 

Armin and Michael did go together well. They talked Danish resistance in WWII and some other sort of code speak the others had yet to decipher. Erwin kept his arm around Armin, kissing his head throughout. He'd been home only for a day and now this was happening. Armin turned, “Remember when I put potatoes in your mouth for talking too much?” 

Erwin smiled at a smug Armin, “I remember me punishing you.” He chuckled and Judah looked at them, “You punished vati? Why? How?” Erwin flushed and Armin snickered. “Judah,” he said in exasperation, “eat your potatoes.” Zev blinked, “I wanna know, too!” Erwin jumped up, “Who needs juice, you all need juice.”

Michael looked at Bellamy and smiled. Bellamy thought he was interesting but he was quickly realizing that Nikko kept his body turned away from him and he even noticed the adults somewhat hesitate before engaging him, “What's your name?” Bellamy offered a very Marco smile, “Bellamy.” Michael gave a dashing grin, “That is one of the best names I have ever heard. What do you like to do, Bellamy? What are your hobbies?”

”Aside from spending time with my family, I like to read and write like my dad.” Michael was eating the carrots, “That's a great thing. So, you'd like to be a journalist or?” “Maybe? I'm not sure….I'm only 9.” He laughed awkwardly and Michael thought he was amazing. A nice kid, for sure. 

He looked over at Nikko, “You don't eat meat?” Nikko shook his head, “No, sir.” “Well, I don't either.” He looked at his plate and noticed it was true, “It's just rather cruel.” Nikko nodded, “What does your wife make you?” Michael paused, “I don't have a wife.”

Nikko stared and then looked to Gisela. Gisela kept her face turned to her food and he looked back, “Whatever you say, sir.” Levi and the other parents were almost in shock that Nikko had said something potentially rude. Also, they're children acted like they were not buying this fact about him. Armin wiped his mouth, “Nikko likes hummus and yellow rice with Israeli salad. We've all gotten good about making it in no time flat.” He smiled and Nikko looked thankful. 

***

After lunch they were planning for dinner and the kids wanted to ride horses. Mila was a wonderful rider and Nikko was, too. They’d go on rides together while their parents followed behind them but this time the others wanted to go. Jean stood up, “Well, the four year olds will just have to ride inside the yard with us holding the horse.” Aviva was excited, “CAN I RIDE WITH GISELA!?” Zev sputtered, “I ALREADY ASKED HER!” Gisela blinked, “I wanna ride with aba.” 

Aba smirked, “I would love to ride with you my jewel, my soul, my little love.” She smiled and Eren gave him a dreamy look, “I love you and how great of a dad you are.” Levi winked at him and Eren blushed, “Can I ride, aba?” Levi smiled, “Baba always rides.” Jean threw a spoonful of peas at Eren, “DIS-GUST-ING!”

***

Somehow Judah and Aviva ended up in the circle together while the others found adults or older kids to ride with. No one wanted to ride with baba but Ezra. Baba was insane. It was an unspoken fact in the family that baba was always a second away from total destruction, laughter, or insanity. Aviva pouted waiting for Jean, “Uncle Jean!” She whined and Judah looked over at her, saying nothing but somehow saying something, “STOP LOOKING AT ME!” 

He sneered, “I wish I could. Why don’t you leave?” She pouted, “I live her, idiot!” He clenched his fist, “I wish you’d be taken away. I can’t stand you.” She turned red, “You’re disgusting! Gigi doesn’t even like being around you!” He fumed, “TAKE IT BACK, BRAT!” She smiled like the devil, “The truth will set you free!” He wanted to drown her in the water trough over on the side of the barn.

When Jean brought them one old reliable horse and a younger pony, Judah paused. It was odd he’d let them ride the pony but, “I WANT THE PONY!” Jean smiled and let her on the saddle before putting Judah up on his. Jean led them around while he whistled melodies from their band practices. Aviva’s long blond hair was put into a ballerina’s bun on top of her head and she rode forward while Judah stared blankly at her.

Jean was calm and collected with the horses and Judah felt very safe. Michael rode by and suddenly the pony spooked and broke away from Jean’s grasp. Aviva tried to hang on but when the pony tried to hop the fence she fell off, onto the fence, and then the ground. Jean tried to not scream or make things worse but he was literally freaking the actual fuck out because Levi’s aura was growing by the second and Erwin was scary, but Armin…

Judah was off his horse in seconds.

Jean didn’t know how he got down and how he got there so fast.

Judah turned her on her side and she was crying silently, truly hurt.

Judah didn’t understand. When he got hurt he got better.

But, what happens when other people get hurt?

He started to get upset as she cried more.

He couldn't breathe.

She grabbed his hand.

”Aviva?!”

She didn’t respond and Jean was over them.

She coughed up blood.

”AVIVA!”

She was shaking, “AVIVA TALK TO ME!”

She shook her head, wheezing.

“Eren!”

Eren was jumping over the railing, “What happened!?”

Armin was there, “What happened!?”

The adults talked about it, brought her inside, Judah was still trying to hold onto her but they wouldn’t let him. After a while, Levi said she had a broken rib. He put his coat on and went to the hospital to get some serum. Armin and Eren were still cooking but Eren made Armin go lay down after a while. Marco took over and Delaine and Gio were entertaining the children when Zad walked in.

Zad went upstairs to check on his granddaughter when he heard Judah in her room speaking to her, “You can’t heal?” She shook her head, “No.” He blinked and was silent for a long time, “Well,” he paused for a long time, “that’s unfortunate.” She threw her tissues at him, grimacing, “Shut up and leave. I feel bad!” He hesitated, “Why wouldn’t you talk to me?” She threw more wadded tissues, “BECAUSE IT HURT!” He exhaled, “Because it hurt?” She looked at him strangely, “Yes, because it hurt.” He turned and Zad opened the door.

“Princess, who did this to you?!” Judah sat down and Gisela came inside to sit with Zad and Aviva. Zev joined them later, face red from crying. He was not okay with the two most important women in his life getting hurt lately. Zev started to cry again and Gisela took his hand. Zad smoothed her hair back, “I’m really upset.” Zadkiel smiled softly, “Why, princess?” She frowned, “Because now I can’t dance in the morning.” Zad rolled his eyes, “Levi is getting the serum, sweetheart.” 

Her eyes narrowed, “Aba.”

He looked at her strangely, “Yeah?”

She inhaled, took the reprimanding tone that Armin took with him often, “His name is ABA. Call him aba. We call him Aba. He’s my aba!” He snorted, “No, dedka calls him Levi.” She pouted and started to cry, sob really. Judah rolled his eyes, “She’s faking!” But, Zadkiel couldn’t handle it, “Princess, shush, shuuush, aba is coming.” She opened her eyes, “Thank you.”

***

Michael was cooking with Armin, “So, what happened was,” Armin cut him off, “Not now.” Armin looked over at him and he shrugged, “It’s important.” Armin was peeling carrots and trying to ignore him. Michael grinned slyly, “This is a nice life. Those children are,” he whistled, “smart.” Armin put the vegetables in the pot, “Listen, what are you going to tell me I don’t already know?” Michael put the bread in the oven while Eren was quietly working in his own little counter area.

“That the cult was linked to Rod Reiss and now that it’s out he’s turned the blame on the Wall. I am the Wall. Therefore, the pressure on Denmark has increased and I decided to take the blame for it.” Armin stared, “Why?” He said it distrusting, “Because now I can make him think I work for him. Rod is stupid. He’s looking at this long term, though. I’m not sure who is his council but they rival us.” Armin bared his teeth, “I can. But, I was hoping you would leak the information.” 

Michael stroked Salvatore and Captain as they walked by, “You and I know the system is broken. We know that we have to reveal them for what they are and it has to be undeniable. But, even so, there will be those who still think they are innocent.” Armin crossed his arms, “Are you going to sacrifice yourself for the betterment of humanity?” Armin and Michael held each other’s gaze.

Eren looked up and wondered what he was seeing, “Armin, I have decided that after seeing your lovely family that I will secure certain things for you and your goals.” Armin wiped his hands, “We’ve decided on things.” Michael nodded, “True. Have you realized it yet?” Armin walked to the fridge and opened it, “I have.” Eren was confused, “I don’t understand.” Michael smiled at him, it was kind, “You don’t need to right now. If you want this to end you have to kill them. You have to kill everyone of them, those Reiss that have gone astray. Obviously, those of the white king and his tribes are fine.”

Eren looked pale, “How do you know about that?” His voice was shaking and Armin was curious, too. Eren had told him but, “I know about it because I know everything. Don’t worry. I don’t actually know certain things like why can’t we turn into titans and such but,” he gave him a pointed glance, “you do and you also figured out how to use that coordinate. Have you taught Armin? I’d love to know. You know, I was a teacher and teachers are lifelong students.”

Eren didn’t want to explain anything, “Listen, how are we going to take Rod down? He’s the vice president. He’s an UN ambassador. He’s untouchable.” Michael shrugged, “We have to wait for the right time. Rome wasn't built in a day. I say we work together. I keep things in the East like they are. You, however, should start learning more about Arkansas.” Armin frowned, “They’re insane. It’s just an offshoot of Mormonism and Lutheranism coming together.” Michael tilted his head to the side, “Where is Uri?”

Armin and Eren shifted, “Dead.” There was a long pause, “Erwin...he’d have to give you the details.” Armin started wiping his hands, “You’re daughter will be fine?” Armin shook his head, “Hopefully, if the serum works. If not, she’ll be devastated.” Eren snorted, “Our girls dance and sing everyday. If she misses one, she gets upset.” Michael smiled, “Looks like I’ll be looking forward to seeing them on the big stages.”

***

Levi returned and started to help Aviva heal. Judah stayed at his side, following him like a shadow. Levi turned his head to look down at him as he washed his hands in his office bathroom. “Aba,” Levi looked at him as he blinked and stood up straighter, “Hold me.” Levi picked Judah up. Judah put his head on his father’s shoulder and closed his eyes while Levi swayed slightly, nose pressed against the side of his head.

Levi inhaled deeply and moved his hand soothingly along Judah’s back, “I love you so much, Judah.” Judah buried his nose into Levi’s dress shirt. Levi walked around his office slowly holding him and loving him.

***

Nikko was sitting at the coffee table drawing with Mila and Bellamy while the adults were talking. Erwin was holding Zev, passed out and covered in marker, while he talked in a hushed manner to Michael. “He was odd, he moved strangely.” Michael drank his tea, “Please, tell me from the beginning.”

Erwin shifted Zev more on his lap and rolled his head to his shoulder. Zev’s mouth was open, he was snoring slightly. “Uri and I were talking and he wouldn’t take his mask off.” Michael snorted, “Skugga Bador.” Erwin’s eyebrows furrowed, “A what?” “A Skugga Bador is a special type of icelandic fox, blue in color. If it looked at you, you’d die.” Erwin shrugged and Zev stirred, “He had a sickness. When I started to try and leave he got angry, almost manic. At one point he removed the mask and he had these….strange cuts or indentations or something on his face. I guess like titan’s used to have. And he was fine, perfectly fine just upset I was trying to leave.”

Erwin stared at his son, “And then something snapped. It’s like he went into a daze, he started coughing, his eyes changed, his entire body language. It’s like he became blood thirsty. It was insane. He bit me and I stabbed him in the neck but he kept coming at him. I lost him after running through the building and then locking him in a section of it. Then the fire came. Eren screamed. It was so frightening after that.”

Armin appeared with Yoni in his arms, “All of our kids like to hang on us when they go to sleep.” He sat down and laid Yoni across the bench, his head was placed in his lap where Armin could card his fingers through his blond locks, “What we need to do is we make a few more charities, a few more social movements. I think that way we can network, get closer to the local and federal government. I was thinking Erwin would run for mayor.” Erwin nearly exploded in shocked laughter, “Baby,” he gritted through his teeth, “baby, I had no idea. I’ve never said I wanted to do that.” Armin looked at him, pouting, ‘It would be good, daddy.”

Erwin stared, “Baby, I-.”

“I had Jean make up some poster mock ups.”

”But...baby…”

”Just think of it, Mayor Erwin Smith.”

“BABY!”

Armin reached over and took his chin in his hand, “Daddy, baby wants you to have a title.”

Erwin frowned and then sighed, “When do I submit the paperwork?”

Armin smiled, “Already started it for you, daddy.” He leaned over and kissed him and Michael sat back, “You know, he’s not the only one who has been acting up like that.” Erwin looked over, “Insane like that?” “Yes, he’s one of a few we’ve seen.” Armin looked at him, “We?” Michael finished his tea and opened a beer, “Armin, the Wall is vast. My people are vast and we see what’s happening in the American tribes and study them with fervor. We believe they are trying to turn some into titans.” 

Armin scoffed, “It’s impossible.” Michael was coy, “Why is it impossible?” Armin shrugged, “Just is. We just know it is.” Michael smirked, “Keeping that to yourself I see.” Levi returned with Judah and opened the fridge to get out some chocolate milk. Erwin smiled, “Who's that for? You or the little lion?” Judah didn’t stir and Levi turned around, “Me and then little lion when he wakes up.” Levi swayed gently, rocking Judah side to side. Erwin grinned, “He’s a growing lion.”

Levi sat down and Eren joined with Gisela in his arms. Gisela was so precious with her little curls and button nose. “Gisela is literally the the cutest thing ever.” Eren said boastfully, grinning like a fool. Armin rolled his eyes, “I agree but then, you know, Aviva.”

Michael paused before pushing, “Why can’t they turn into titans?” Eren looked up, “Not around the children.” Erwin cleared his throat, “Listen, maybe they can but maybe they can’t. We think they can’t. We don’t see it like….like it was, you know?” Michael wasn’t satisfied, “Rod Reiss will eventually want more power. He is, as you know, an imbecile.” Eren cut in, “But, they’d never vote for him! He’d never be elected! He failed already.” Michael shrugged, “I’m just saying, it could happen.”

They talked more about the potential issues and then Michael turned to the children, “Are we still saying nothing? There is something about them that I’d like to investigate more.” Amrin nodded, “Nothing at all.” He sat back and looked at Gisela, “Armin, is there...is there anything I can do for you?” Armin paused, “Mike Zacharias….find him for me please.” Michael moved his head to the side, “Interesting. I’ll keep an eye out. Who is he?” Armin frowned, “A friend’s husband.” Levi looked murderous, “Why ask him? How can we be sure he’ll be-” Michael held a hand up, “Levi, we have an understanding.”

Mila came in the room, “Put me to bed, uncle Levi. Momma is doing science experiments with Ezra but I’m sleepy.” Levi blinked, “Yes, my sweetness.” He stood but Judah stirred, wrapping his arms tighter around his neck, “Oh, no.” Levi didn’t want to wake Judah but he didn’t want to tell Mila no, “I’ll go with Mila, aba.” Nikko stood awkwardly but polite to the side. Mila looked at him and smiled, “Okay.” She shrugged. Nikko looked tired, too. So, Levi decided to see if his son could perhaps start to steal the heart of the girl he’d been in love with since he was born. Levi kind of doubted it.

_Oy vey, what a schande._

***

Nikko and Mila wiped their faces in the bathroom and Delaine came in to check on them. When they changed Nikko followed Mila to her room and she blushed, “Um...why are you in here?” He wanted to die. Why was he in there? “Wanna read a book?” She smiled sheepishly, “Actually...I wanna watch “The School for Little Vampires.” He grinned but tried to hide it, “I like that show.” She giggled, “I hear you watch it in German sometimes.” He looked around and felt awkward.

She sat on her bed and patted beside her, “Come on, you can stay here tonight and we can stay up late.” She whispered it like it was secret. He felt hot and then he felt like he’d been hit in the gut, “Okay.” He managed out awkwardly. Literally, everything he did was so polite but so awkward.

They leaned back watch the TV on her pillowed, “Nikko?” He looked at her, “You’re so polite to me.” He forgot how to breathe, “Oh…” She smiled, “You’re so weird, Nikko.” He nodded, ‘Yeah.”

***

Armin and One Eye said good bye and Erwin stood in the foyer waiting for him with Zev still. Yoni had gone up to his room, trailing slowly with some other kids following behind him. Zev started to wake up, “Daddy?” Erwin smiled, “Zevka?” “Put me….in Aviva’s room.” He smiled, “Of course.” 

*****

Armin kissed along his shoulders towards the middle. His lips kissed his spin, moving slowly down towards his lower back. Armin grinned, hands smoothing along the muscles of his sides. He moved around to face him, lips on his collar bone, sucking, nibbling, and biting. He moved down his chest, kissing his pecs, sucked his nipples while his hands smoothed back and down to his ass. He grabbed the toned mounds and moaned lowly.

The water ran down their bodies. Armin’s hair was heavy and laid thickly below his jawline. He kissed beneath his jawline and then moved down on his knees.

Erwin loved when he was rewarded for just being a good husband. In this case, that was just not putting up a fight about being entered into a campaign without his knowledge.

Armin sucked him off and when they crawled in their bed he climbed on top of him and rode him like a pro. Armin was sweaty and out of breath when Erwin sat up and pulled him to him, “You only fuck me like this when you want to say sorry.” Armin gave a short laugh, “Maybe I feel a tiny weeny bit bad.” Erwin kissed him, “For?” Armin squirmed, “Ummmmm, I dunno.” Erwin grinned and kissed his cheek and down along his jaw, “For?” Armin kissed him again, “For electing you to become mayor…..Eren might have bullied some people from quitting the race.” 

Erwin started to chuckle, “Wow. I feel special.” Armin pushed him on his back and kept kissing him, “You are special, Erwin.” Erwin felt Armin gear up for another round and he couldn’t help but smirk smugly against his lips. When Armin pulled back Erwin stroked his bangs to the side, “And you’re a horney little love muffin that keeps me young.”


	164. Christmas 35

Armin picked Aviva up and kissed her, “Vati and daughti’s day out!” Armin kissed her over and over and she giggled, “Vati! It’s christmas eve! This is such a busy day!” Armin started to twirl with her in his arms, “Doesn't matter what day it is! This is the tradition.” Aviva giggled and smiled. 

She squealed when Armin fell on the plush pillows on the floor with her, “Let’s get you dressed, princess.” She gave him a stern look, “It has to be pink.” Armin nodded sitting up. David had diagnosed Aviva with obsessive compulsive disorder. A lot of the kids had it. It wasn’t the same in them all, either.

Aviva had to wear at least one thing pink or she’d become so uncomfortable she’d have a panic attack. Armin and Erwin didn’t really get it but it was actually one of the more mild ones. Judah was always concerned with cleanliness. It wasn’t so hard to understand with Levi as his father but his particular obsession was dust. He would become fixated on finding dust, swiping dust away with his fingers, finding it in the air, removing dust, preventing dust. It was crazy.

Zev had to touch the post of any door they went through and he some strange religious rituals. He also had things that involved Gisela, Aviva, and Judah. Yoni had to turn lights on and off three times. Tuvia didn’t have OCD but he was plagued with anxiety about structures. Were they sound or was the foundation flawed? He didn't do well in large stadiums. 

Gisela was a perfectionist like Aviva but her rituals were varied and often included Judah in complex routines that none of the adults truly understood.

Cesare had to lick his hands when he touched certain things. Bianca had a tick she did with her fingers. Ezra had to recite prayers at specific times. Nikko was as bad as Gisela and they couldn’t keep up with his rituals. Gio was pretty normal. Everyone liked easy going and quiet Gio. He did have a tendency to pick at his skin like Jean, but they were workng on it. Bellamy and Mila were pretty normal, too. Must be something in the blood.

Alexi counted things and Lilly had the same affliction. It bothered Ilya to know end.

Armin and the others dealt with it because they were their children and they also had their own problems. _Yeah….like we’re all insane killers._ Armin dressed her and then dressed to match as much as he could. They always had a daddy and daughter day once a month. They did fun girly things and spent time with each other.

When they were walking out Judah was walking down the hallway wiping sleep from his eyes, carrying his blanket on the floor, Donner trailing him and nudging him forward with his nose, “Vati?” He said groggily. Armin smiled, “Little lion?” Judah dropped his hand, “Where are you going?” Armin made sure Aviva was behind and had her shoes on, “It’s a special day of fun. Vati-daughti day!” 

Judah’s lip quivered, eye twitched, and Armin knew he was royally pissed.

Judah inhaled, “DON’T TAKE HER! TAKE ME!” He glared at her and she practically hissed, “HE’S MY VATI!” Judah’s rage was infamous, “HE’S _**MINE**_!!!!!!” And then it began. Judah and Aviva were screaming at each other and Armin was just standing there sadly.

Erwin appeared, “JUDAH! STOP YELLING AT HER RIGHT NOW!” Judah turned to look at him, petulant Levi-esque look on his face, “SHUT UP, EYEBROW MAN!” Erwin was livid, “DO NOT TALK BACK TO ME, JUDAH!” Judah’s face was red, “BOTH OF YOU DON’T DESERVE VATI! HE JUST SETTLED FOR YOU, EYEBROW MAN!” Armin was awkwardly blushing and Aviva was screaming like a demon while Erwin looked so hurt and offended. He clutched his heart and started tag teaming him with his daughter.

Eventually, Erwin picked a squirming Judah up and carried him away and Aviva took Armin’s hand and they went downstairs to get a quick cup of coffee and warm milk before being off.

***

Levi walked inside the pantry and took Armin from behind, kissing his neck hotly and letting his hands travel around to tease him. His voice was playful, amused, smug, “So, my son has a crush on you.” Armin looked forward, amused and wanting to return the playfulness, “Oh? Too bad.”

Levi kissed his neck, really working on sucking a purple hickey. His voice was muffled, “Why? Because you’re married?” Armin turned around in his arms and took his face between his hands, “Because I’ve got a crush on his smokin’ hot dad.” Armin pushed Levi into the shelves and gave Levi a little taste of his own teasing medicine.

He pulled back, Levi’s hard on pressing into his thigh, his eyes glassy, breathing ragged, “Vevel?” Levi hummed, “Hm?” Armin batted his eyelashes, “I gotta go. Thanks for the warm up.” Armin pushed away and Levi groaned, “I’m hard!” Armin giggled and left out of the pantry to go get his little girl and leave.

***

Levi was pouting and sulking. Eren had turned him down for sex the past three days which was almost unthinkable because Eren was a horney little thing. Armin teased him and left him to hang out and dry. Now, he found Erwin in his bedroom, Judah on his chest, face stained with tears, watching The School for Little Vampires. Erwin’s shirt said “top dad.” 

Levi crawled in the bed with him and laid there with Judah pitiful and fighting sleep. The door opened some time later, “Jude?” Zev looked inside, “Come watch that with me.” Judah looked at Zev. Levi and Erwin were holding their breath waiting for what would happen. 

Judah sat up and begrudgingly crawled off the bed and walked over to Zev, “Don't touch me.” Zev nodded, “Okay.” He opened the door for tiny terror Judah to walk through and Levi blinked, he and Erwin slowly chuckling at the event. Erwin smoothed his hands up and down his stomach, “I think sometimes that they’re going to be like us.” Levi rolled over to face him, “Listen, I’m going to be straight with you.” Erwin raised an eyebrow, “Oh? Have you had the same thought? Because, sometimes I wonder how Zev’s going to turn out. I mean, he’s obsessed with Gisela but-” Levi cut him off, “I want to have sex right now.” Erwin’s mouth was open and then he closed it.

Erwin got very awkward, “No. Sorry.” Levi’s brow furrowed, “What?!” Erwin felt so bad turning him down because damn, he wanted to give in but he couldn’t, “Lee, sorry. I’m not at all up for anything. I’m…” Levi stared and Erwin crumbled, “I have diarrhea.” 

Levi was speechless.

Erwin panicked more.

“And…..my butt is just all-”

Levi cut him off.

“STOP. STOP RIGHT NOW.”

They just laid there awkwardly for a little while till the door opened again and Yoni and Tuvia came inside, “Daddy! Daddy!” Levi snorted and left the bed, “I’ll talk to you later.” Erwin smiled, “I don’t feel too bad. My kids are more fun than you.” Levi nodded, “But mine are the best.”

Levi went to his room and found Eren, Ezra, and Nikko in bed waiting for him, “What are we watching?” Nikko crawled on top of him to hold him, “Alice in Wonderland.” Levi grinned kissing Nikko’s cheek, “I love you.” Nikko smiled, “You’re the best aba in the world.”

***

Armin and Aviva were getting their nails done when he got a text from Erwin. 

Erwin: baby...I cannot tell a lie. 

Armin deadpanned as he replied. 

Armin: Ha...ha...ha...I am not amused. Did you tell Levi!?

Aviva sipped her sparkling grape juice, “Vati, when I'm older, can I still live with you?” Armin smiled, “well, I would looooooove that but,” he took a sip of his champagne, “what happens when you have your own family?” 

Aviva frowned, “I'm not getting married or having kids, vati. I'm just going to dance, make money, have power, and relish in my glory.” Armin blinked, “Are you sure? You're only a little girl.” Aviva gave him a reprimanding look, “Vati, I am in control of me.”

Armin was impressed. They were raising strong independent women and apparently Aviva didn't need anyone but herself and her career. Armin looked over, “Are those kittens?” She smiled, “Yeah, I wanted kitties on my nails.” Armin smiled and kissed her, “It's always a good day when kittens are involved.”

Michael still reached out and Armin was thinking of going to Denmark to see how they could do this. Their agreement was to take out the Reiss family before turning on each other. That was interesting for him, though. When exactly would the line appear and how would they cross it fully leaving Reiss behind and moving into their own feud. How would he even defeat One Eye now that he'd gotten to know their family? 

Armin and Aviva finished at the nail salon and he decided to take her to the boutiques in downtown Olivia. She held his hand and skipped down the Isles talking about this and that. She wanted bangs like him and he had debated it with Erwin. 

Erwin had pleaded, “Baby….it's hard.” Armin cut his eyes over, “What's hard?” Erwin sighed, “Doing her hair! I JUST NOW FIGURED IT OUT!” Armin laughed mockingly and Erwin pouted, “I won't know what to do with them!” Armin laughed more, “Erwin, for real, stop being such man. If Eren can do Gisela’s hair with hiw curly it can get then you can handle light waves Aviva.”

Erwin looked devastated, “Baaaaaby, where will they even go.” Armin rolled his eyes, “Just use hairspray to slick it back.” Erwin stared in disbelief, “What does that EVEN mean?!” Armin sighed, “You use the hairspray-” “YOU KNOW THAT SCAERES ME!” “THE HAIRSPRAY!?” “YES, IT'S LOUD AND FRIGHTENING! IT MAKES MY THROAT HURT!” “YOU DON'T BREATHE IT IN, DUM DUM!” “HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO IT AND NOT BREATHE? I'D DIE!” 

Armin took his face between his hands, “Shut. Up. Dum. Dum.” He kissed him and Erwin pulled back mumbling somewhat hurt, “I'm not dum. I'm just a dad. I'm confused. Little girls are strange.” Armin giggled, “Little girls are gifts.” 

Now Armin was picking out last minute gifts, “Do you think uncle David would like this?” He held up a tie and she shook her head, “No, he'd want….that stuff.” She pointed at some kitchen ware and Armin felt like a lightbulb went off. Hanukkah began. On Christmas day and ended on New Years. It was also Levi’s 35th birthday. Basically, now that a year had gone by since One Eye came for Thanksgiving everyone was trying to forget the shitty world they were living in and just focus on the brighter, stranger aspects. Specifically, Levi’s birthday and then Gatlinburg. 

Aviva, Gisela, Judah, and Gio were all 5 now. Tuvia, Bianca, and Lilly were 6. Hannahlore, Yoni, Alexi, Cesare and Ezra were 7. Keita, Zev, and Nikko were about to be 9 in a few months. Bellamy and Mila were 11. They were all getting so big that they wanted to cry. Europa was still little so that was nice.

Aviva picked out a serving platter, some cutlery, and then a new kettle. She pointed to the sign that said “Monogram Available.” Armin smiled, “Princess, you are the smartest.” She smiled, “I get it from you and Daddy!” He laughed and she smirked, “But mostly you.” Armin filled with pride, “Oh, thank you my princess.”

They packed the purchases up and decided to get hot chocolate and candy for everyone, “I wanna get this for Cesare, this for Ezra, this for OHHH THIS FOR NIKKO AND MILA, and this for Bianca and Lilly because you know, vati, they like the same stuff a lot of the times and ohhhhh this for Gio and that for Keita,” she was picking out candy and putting into her little shopping cart while Armin walked alongside her. 

She smiled, “This for Hannahlore and Bellamy loves these you know, oh look at the little bears and hippos!” She jumped up and down and his heart was exploding, “And ZEV NEEDS THESE WHITE CHOCOLATE WOLVES OH HASHEM VATI LOOK!” 

Aviva picked up a few things and then, “These are for me and Gisela.” Armin nodded his head, “And now we have to find,” “ALEXI LOVES THESE!” “Good, now that just leaves Judah.” She frowned, “I don't want to get him anything.” 

”That's not nice, Aviva.” 

”I don't care. He's mean. He's always being mean to me and he just wants you and Gisela to himself. Sometimes, he doesn't want Zev to play with me. He hurts my feelings!” 

”I understand. It's just that, I think Judah is really hurt when you do mean things to him, princess. Sometimes, you start the problem. Also, I'm your vati, princess. But I'm his vati, too. Would you want Baba to be separated from you like you want me from Judah?” 

”No! I LOVE BABA! HE'S MY BABA!” 

”Exactly, so when he's upset he's just feeling like you'd feel. Can't you understand that and maybe cut him some slack?” She pouted, “He doesn't want Gisela to play with me and I love Gisela, vati. Gisela is my best friend!” 

”Gisela is never going to stop playing with you because of Judah. Judah never wants Gisela to be sad and that would make her very sad to not play with you!” 

Aviva pouted more, “Does Baba want you to not play with Aba sometimes?” Armin froze, _what the fuck you little sly demon how are you turning this one me what do i say oh meh gerd i was not prepared how do I do dis alert alert we-ou we-ou_ “I don't understand, princess.”

Aviva pouted, “Sometimes, baba wants only you to sleep with him and sometimes like, aba and daddy are together but….are you all together or? Sometimes you don't all sleep together. I don't always understand.” Armin decided less was more, “Sometimes, we're just sleepy and say things when we're cranky.” Aviva stared and Armin tried to change the subject, “Oh!” he felt his phone go off, “Our monogram stuff is ready. Let's go princess!” 

They picked a cake up from Jennie’s and headed home. Aviva and he had grabbed lunch, shopped more, went to the temple to pick up Hanukkah stuff and some books for the break. Now it was almost dinner and Eren was dying to skip dessert, texting him about the cake and it's glorious tastiness. 

When they got home Armin carried in the things and then bent down to kiss her, “I love you.” Aviva smiled, “I love you!” Armin looked at her, “I'm going to wrap it all but I might need help from you later when we hand out the candy. Okay?” She leaned forward and kissed him again, “Okay, vati.” He grinned and stood up. Levi and Gisela were playing piano while Zev and Judah colored in the floor next to them. 

Tuvia came running by and hugged his legs, “Vati, where is dedka?” Armin looked down, “I dunno. He's not here?” Tuvia shook his head and Armin sighed, “Wanna help me make some sweet potatoes?” Tuvi nodded, “Yeah, I like those.” 

Yoni appeared, “Can Hannahlore and Keita come over now?” Armin sighed, “Not yet. AND I DON'T WANT TO TAKE IT TO COURT JUST GO AWAY LITTLE ERWIN!” Yoni looked like he'd say something but Commander climbed up his back scaring the shit out of him while they all laughed. Yoni ran into the living room and then Erwin appeared, “Ezra and Eren are outside looking for wild turkeys.” Armin stared and then sighed, “You can go. But put a hat on and take hats AND GLOVES for then because they're dum dums, too.” Erwin Smiled, “Thanks baby.” He left after kissing Armin on the cheek.

Nikko was upstairs writing at his desk when Bellamy joined him, “Hey.” Jean and Marco were finishing up shopping and had let the kids stay at the houses with their grandparents. “Hey, you're early.” Bellamy smiled, “I wanted peace and quiet.” Nikko smiled, “And you came here?” Bellamy laughed, “Actually, yeah.”

Nikko and Bellamy wrote together in silence until, I think when I marry Mila one day I want you to marry us.” Bellamy said the words nonchalant and plainly. Nikko was sweating, “What?” Bellamy smiled kindly, “Well, papa says when you like someone a lot and spend a lot of time with them you marry them. And you're gunna be a rabbi from what daddy says so you can do marriages and stuff. Makes perfect sense.” Nikko blinked, stomach in knots, “Yeah,” he said slowly, “very logical.”

****

Eren was all smiles when they were about to set the table, “I'm so excited.” Armin grinned, “Listen, I am too, but your ass ain't done shit tah-day so shut up and place this chicken right there.” Eren frowned, “Are you mad?” Armin rolled his eyes, “No. Just sometimes you and Erwin worry me. Y’all can't keep anything from him.”

Eren looked shameful but then this goofy expression colored his features. He put his elbows on the table and his chin in his hands, “He's so dreamy.” Armin made a face like dying, “Shut uuuup.”

****

David sat on the couch with Levi before dinner. Mikasa was asking Jean for a commission of their family. Gisela came downstairs and Keita was waiting, “Gisela?” She smiled, “Hey, Keita!” He shuffled forward shyly, face looking very much like his father, “I got this for you.” It was a very pretty wildflower that somehow managed to not die in the frost. She grinned, completely delighted, “Oh Keita! It's so pretty.”

Zev was coming around the corner and paused. Keita blushed, “Would you like to play with me? I have Israeli figurines of-” Zev burst in, “Hahahahhahaaha of course we'll play!” Zev walked over and Keita looked a little deflated, “Zevka?” 

Gisela looked at him and he smiled, “Yeah?” She blinked, “You invited yourself and that's very rude. Also, vati needs you in the kitchen for your medicine.” Zev basically turned white and then blushed from embarrassment, “Ooooohhh,” he rubbed his neck, “I could have sworn you said Zev, Keita.” Keita smiled, “It's okay. Don't keep uncle Armin waiting. He's scary when he's mad.” He walked off and they went to go see his toys he'd brought. She felt bad but he had known better. She didn't like rude. 

Levi and David nodded, “Well, that was like a preteen sitcom.” david chuckled, “What's up with you, brother?” Levi was blank and emotionless, monotone and despair colored his features, “No one in this house is fucking me. I am dying. You know, sometimes I was having it two, three times a day. Now, nothing. I am going to die. “

David grinned, “Sorry, brother.” Levi sulked, “Well, you're smug.” David smiled, “Yes, I have sex all the time. I'm glad my chaste days are over.” Levi hit him with a pillow, “You suck.” David laughed, “That's what you do, achki.” Levi hit him and then they wrestled to the floor. 

***

Zev kicked Gisela lightly under the table, “After dinner?” She smiled, “Of course.” Yoni and Ezra were wanting to watch cartoons and Eren was begging them to eat or they'd kill him with worry. Delaine smiled and wiped food from Jean's face. Marco smoothed Bellamy’s hair down while Gio told his Grandfather Gio all about what he'd learned in class about Italian. Cesare was next to Ezra and they were now arguing much like Jean and Eren often did. 

It amused Eren and Jean because Cesare thought Ezra was a happy go lucky idiot and Ezra thought Cesare was heartless. What did they expect? 

***

Marco crawled into bed after the great dinner and the partial opening of gifts. They’d all moved towards opening the gifts on Christmas day and since it was also going to be the first day of hanukkah that made it even more festive. Jean was on his phone, “Mikasa wanted to know where we were staying for Gatlinburg.” He snorted, “Should have already booked that shit, Miki.” Marco moved closer, “Hey.”

Jean smirked, putting his phone down and looking over at him, “Hey.” Marco grinned, “Hey hey.” Jean smiled and it hurt his face, “Hey, hey, hey!” He moved to put his nose in between Marco neck and shoulder nuzzling and tickling him. Marco slapped a hand on Jean’s ass and hummed in his chest. Jean’s lips left not an inch of his skin untouched. 

Marco moved to straddle him, his hands pulling at Jean's shirt and making him uncomfortable, “Let me take this damn thing off!” He pulled the shirt off and then Marco's, their mouths slamming back together. 

Jean sat up with Marco now in his lap. Marco’s hands moved through his hair and Jean reached between them to stroke Marco while he moaned into his mouth and bucked in his hand. 

Jean grabbed the lube and when his fingers were wet enough his slid them down into the cleft of Marco’s ass and inside of him. Marco bucked and then moved down to suck Jean's nipples nearly raw. He moved on his fingers needy. 

Jean moved Marco’s hips and slid his cock inside of him. Both moaned into each other’s mouth. They started moving against each other in a steady rhythm. Jean's fingers teased Marco’s cock and he attacked Jean's neck and shoulders, biting and marking Jean who shuddered at the sensation. 

Jean's eyes fluttered and Marco pressed his face into his shoulder. “Jean, you fuck me so good.” Jean’s hands moved up his back, “Shit, Marco. It's all you, babe.” Jean's hand gripped the back of his head and pulled him into a sloppy and affectionate kiss. 

Marco leaned to the left and curved Jean's cock in and out of him driving himself and Jean wild. Jean slapped his ass, biting his bottom lip hungrily as Marco bounced up and down in his lap till they were seizing up and coming undone. 

Marco’s toes curled and Jean nearly drew blood as he pulled, whimpering and squeezing his eyes shut. Marco shuddered and whined, “Jean, fuck, oh Jean.” Jean kissed down his jaw, biting lightly, and then down his neck and onto his chest, “Fuck, babe, that was great.” Their lips met again in steamy blissful passion as they fell back on the bed. “So glad the kids are taken care of.” Jean said out of breath and Marco laughed, “I know. Where did they all come from?” Jean snorted, “Mars...I dunno.”

*****

Gisela was leaning back on Zev when she noticed he'd gone quiet and not turned the page for a while. “Zev, are you okay?” Zev cleared his throat, “Do you think Keita is cooler than me?”

Judah squirmed on the bench in waking up from a nap, “I think you and Keita are definitely cool.” Zev frowned, “But is he the coolest?” Judah woke up, “Shut up.” She smirked, “Judah and I need to go to bed.” Zev looked even sadder, “Uh...you can sleep with me.”

Judah and Gisela blinked, “Don't be weak, Zev.” they said it at the same time and he tried to save face, “I AM NOT WEAK!” Gisela sat up, “I'll see you tomorrow, Zevka.” She smiled and he panicked, “But am I cooler?”

Judah noted she wasn't going to say anything. He sighed and sucked it up. Zev saw him close his eyes, he looked pained, he gritted his teeth and spoke through them, “You’re the coolest now can we go?!”

Gisela kissed Judah’s cheek, “Yeah, let's go.” Zev smiled like a fool, “You mean it, Jude?!” Judah rolled his eyes, “Yeah. You're the only cool one other than Nikko I guess. Well, Gisela is the best.” Zev laughed and smiled, “Oh yes, Gigi is the best but the fact that you can see and acknowledge I am the coolest makes me so happy!”

When Judah and Gisela got up into their room they changed and got into bed. Judah wrapped Gisela in his arms and she put her legs between his and tangled herself in him. He breathed her in, “Gisela, why wouldn't you just tell him he was the coolest?” She hummed, “Aba says you always gotta keep them wanting.”

Judah humpfed, “He does that to eyebrow man.” She giggled, “Zev is my eyebrow man.” Judah pouted, “But I'm your soul.” She went silent, “Always, Judah. We're two halves of a whole.”

Judah sighed and she smirked, “What?” He rolled his eyes, “Be nicer to Zev than aba is to daddy.” She was amused, “Why?” “Because,” Judah sighed, “he's cooler than eyebrow man.”

***

Yoni and Nikko were asleep in Nikko’s room with Ezra passed out nearby. Levi scooped Ezra up and took him to his room. Tuvia was with Zad and Zev. The twins were in their rooms asleep and Hanji had Mila. 

Jean and Marco were in their old bedroom sound asleep with Bianca and Lilly in the next and Alexi and Bellamy in the art studio. He found Gio and Cesare in the other guest bedroom with Keita and Hannahlore. Mikasa and David were in their old room, snoring together peacefully. 

But his room was empty when he opened the door and looked around. Donner was in his bed and Capitan was nestled into his side soundly. He saw a hint of red on the bed and went towards it. 

There was a golden card with a red bow and his name on it. 

Levi, you're needed in the Smith bedroom immediately. 

Levi lowered the envelope and snorted, “Fuck, this is either going to be stupid or wonderful.”

He changed into a loose black v neck shirt that had belonged to Erwin and some black jogging pants. He brushed his teeth and went through his normal routine. Donner watched carefully before he leaned down to kiss and pet him and capitan. 

Levi liked animals much more than people. 

_Shit, just like Eren and my kids. Fuck._

When Levi opened the door to Erwin and Armin’s room it was pitch black. He paused, “What the fu-”

He was pulled inside, the door shut, one lamp with a red cover over it came on and then Armin pushed him back against the wall, lips on his, hands smoothing his chest and his lithe body pressed against him. He kissed him and it was passionate. Levi was stunned a bit, confused. He couldn’t see clearly and the red light was interesting. But he liked this set up a lot so why bitch? Levi’s hands came up to grab him and then Armin was gone.

Erwin pulled Levi off the wall into an embrace of kisses, his hands grabbed him possessively and then he was turned around and into Eren’s waiting arms. Eren kissed him with sloppy open mouth kisses as he lifted Levi’s shirt off of him, Armin came from behind leaving a trail of kisses across his shoulders and back. Erwin moved to pull Levi’s face from Eren while Eren moved down to his neck and chest..

Levi groaned as he felt Eren roughly pull at the hem of his pants ripping him forward before pulling them down. Armin’s hands moved around to his chest, fingers tweaking his nipples while Erwin took his lip between his teeth and nibbled. Eren’s hot breath washed across the fabric of his briefs making his cock twitch painfully. He was contained and wanted to be free.

Armin breathed into his ear and it drove him wild. Erwin pulled at the roots of his hair. Eren pulled his cock out and blew cool air on it. Levi was so stimulated he didn’t know where they ended and he began. Armin moved to take Erwin’s place and then Erwin moved behind Levi. He knew something was about to happen but he was so occupied by Armin’s sweet mouth and his husband’s lips rubbing lightly against the sensitive head of his cock.

Erwin’s fingers were wet and they smoothed up and down the cleft of his ass. Armin pulled back, hair short again, messy, his bangs blunt and framing his eyes. He got on his knees and Erwin’s arm moved around his chest to pin him to him as one of his fingers slowly teased his hole. He looked at Eren and Armin. They were innocently looking up at him and then they started kissing each other, their hands teasing him.

Levi tensed up from Erwin’s larger finger, the way he moved inside of him, his lips pressing open mouth kisses on the back of his neck. He bit softly and Levi sighed and let out a small moan. Armin grabbed his cock and guided it to Eren’s mouth, he moved his hand to Levi’s balls and cupped them while Eren sucked him. He looked intoxicated, his eyes rolling back in his head.

Armin pulled Eren off, his tongue already out and ready as he kissed Eren. Levi’s body shook, he was so turned on. Armin’s mouth was wet and when he slid onto Levi’s cock it felt silky sweet and sinful. Eren kissed his thighs while Armin gurgled and choked himself. Armin pressed his nose into his base and Eren pulled him off. Both of their lips and tongues lavished attention on his cock while Erwin stretched him.

Eren stroked him while Armin and he waited for him to come on their faces and waiting tongues. Levi did, whimpering and moaning in his chest. Erwin pulled him to the bed, tossing him on his stomach. He kissed up and down his spine and Eren moved in front of him. Armin stayed on his knees on the floor moving over. Towards them.

When Erwin pulled him back, back arching, his cock sliding in smoothly. Armin was there kissing his hip bone and then he started to pay attention to Levi’s overstimulated member. Eren moved forward, lips covering his as Armin took him into his mouth again and Erwin started a steady pace. Levi’s muffled moans were swallowed by Eren. He pulled back and then Erwin pulled out. Levi’s breath hitched, a shaky and confused moan was caught in his throat. He was then joined on the bed, picked up like a rag doll as Erwin moved behind him on his back.

He sat Levi on his lap facing Eren and then took his cock in hand to slide back inside. He pulled Levi back, his back arched severely, and he pounded into him with one of his arms around his neck slightly choking him and keeping him powerless. Armin and Eren moved together on the bed watching. Their hands touching his skin lightly and making more tensions rise. Levi was coming again and they were there. His eyes rolled back in his head. His toes curled and he could hear the blood pumping in his ears.

When he was spun around to face Erwin he wasn’t sure what else was going to happen. Erwin looked dashing, debauched, and wickedly turned on. Erwin kissed him and he kisses him back. There was relative calm until he felt the hands on his back. He knew they were Erens. Erwin’s hands came up, one in his hair keeping him locked in a kiss. The other one kept him pinned down as he squirmed. Eren kissed up and down his spin, lightly biting his shoulders. He took his cock in his hand and slowly pushed inside of Levi with Erwin.

Armin kissed Eren’s neck, his hands stroking and smoothing along his body till Eren kissed him. Levi let out a long moan as Eren adjusted to the unbelievably tight heat and Levi adjusted to two large cocks inside of him. When they started to move he limp and laid on Erwin’s chest, moaning like a whore and blissful. Eren and Armin were still kissing as Armin’s hand traced patterns on Levi’s back. Erwin was pounding into him with Eren, their movements in tandem. Levi’s cock leaked precome and rubbed harshly between his stomach and Erwin’s.

When Erwin and Eren finally came and left his body he was hard but dazed. Erwin moved out from under him and Eren backed away. He was on his stomach, hips slightly off the bed, face in the covers. Armin kissed his cheek before moving behind him and inside of him. Levi moaned as Armin hit his prostate, his hand moving under him to grab his cock and keep him from coming. Armin bit him, licked his skin and suckled until purple hickies formed. He came, shaking and balls deep in a quivering Levi.

When he flipped Levi on his back he had the most mischievous look on his face. He sucked Levi off and then moved back to admire him.

Levi was wrecked but not as wrecked as he was going to be.

He found himself in the shower three hours later, used, sated, and getting clean. Eren sat in the shower floor letting Levi rest his head in his lap as the warm water slowly brought him up from his sub low. Eren smiled when he opened his eyes and looked up at him.

Levi crawled in the fresh sheets and collapsed. Erwin and Armin finished some water and joined him with Eren pressing against Levi’ back and nuzzling his nose into his neck, “Neshama, happy thirty-fifth birthday.” Levi’s eye opened and he snorted, “That’s what this was all about?” Erwin chuckled and Armin giggled. All three of the culprits answered unanimously, “Yeah.” Levi sighed, “Thanks.” Eren kissed him, “I love you.” Armin moved forward and kissed his forehead, “I love you.” Erwin stroked his face, “I love you.” 

Levi’s heart was full but instead of saying something nice he just, “Y’all are gay.” 

Eren snorted after a few seconds, “Says the guy who had three cocks in him and two and three more than once at the same time.” Armin giggled, “Yeah, that’s pretty gay.” Erwin echoed them, “Like, the gayest.” Levi jerked, “Hush and go to sleep we have seventy-eleven kids to tend to tomorrow and then we’re going on a trip.” Levi turned around, hands on Eren, pressing his head under his chin and his nose into his neck, “Love you.”


	165. Komme was wolle

A large snowball hit Armin in the back of the head, “ZEV FRIEDHELM SMITH I WILL REIGN HOLY HELL DOWN UPON YOU IF YOU HIT YOUR VATI IN THE HEAD AGAIN!” Erwin was at his wit’s end. Zev pouted and then turned, “IT WASN’T ME, DADDY! I PROMISE!” Zev looked outraged he’d been blamed. Tuvia giggled mischievously and ran straight into Eren. 

Eren’s hands were suddenly on Tuvia’s shoulders, “You apologize now. Do not let Zev be blamed for what you’ve done. That’s not being a good friend.” Tuvia pouted, “I just want to have fun.” Eren raised an eyebrow, “By framing Zev?” Tuvia squirmed, “Let me go.” Eren picked him up but he was getting so big, “What’s going on, Tuvia?” Tuvia pounded on Eren’s chest, “BOY, I WILL SPANK YOUR LITTLE BOOTY IF YOU DON’T STOP!”

Tuvia paused and then sighed, “They like Zev best.”

Eren blinked, “What?”

Tuvia looked upset, his voice was muffled and whispered, “Zev is the favorite so what’s it matter if they think he did somethin’ bad or not?”

Eren sighed, “Your daddy and vati love you and your brothers and sister all the same. I love you and them all the same. Aba loves you all the mostest because aba is insane and only likes y’all. He barely even likes me or vati and daddy.” Eren chuckled and hugged him, “Now, go apologize or there will be hell to pay. Daddy is pissed.” Tuvia rolled his eyes, “Aba loves you. But, he spends a lot of time alone with daddy.” Eren nodded, his lips formed an amused and tight smile, “Thanks for that. I'm glad you tattled. I'll have to smother him.” They both giggled.

Tuvia loved Erwin and Armin. They were the best. He wanted Armin to be proud of him and to become like Erwin. But Zadkiel was his idol, his partner in crime. When he stood awkwardly apologizing to Armin, Zad walked up and took his side, “I mean, he's kind of lost in the others. You do favor Zev.”

Armin’s eyes brimmed with tears, “Tuvia, I can't believe you think that! It hurts my heart!” Oh no, Tuvia felt ashamed, “It's okay Vati.” Zad hummed, “You do a lot with me by yourself. What if, when we get to Gatlinburg, you get to do something with Daddy and Vati all by yourself? Hm?” 

Erwin came over and nodded his head, “That's a marvelous idea.” Tuvia hugged Zadkiel, “Thanks, Dedka. Ya lyublyu tebya.” Zad carried him to the side of the car to be buckled in, “You too, little fire.”

********

The ride to Gatlinburg was going to end them all. They had walkie talkies in case of emergency. Levi tried to block it all out and was doing a pretty good job of it but Eren was breaking, “Eren, ahuvi, sweetheart, baby, love, for the love of HaShem put those Bose headphones on and take a nap.”

Judah and Gisela were arguing. This never happened but Judah and Aviva were increasingly getting worse and worse about fighting and Gisela had had enough. Ezra would not stop singing. Eren felt bad because that was a trait of Levi that coupled with all of his Eren traits and manifested in this annoyingly loud way. He thought if he sang loud enough they'd stop or forget or join him. 

Nikko was in a rare bad mood. They had no idea what was wrong but something was and in his 9 years this was maybe the 6th time he was actually cross or upset. He was snappy and wanted Ezra to stop. He put his headphones on and then was gone. That was bad because he was, in fact, their police chief and kept them all in line. Everyone ultimately in this family listened to Nikko. Even Judah and the Smith kids. 

Ezra stopped suddenly and it was the strangest shift in the atmosphere of the car, “Just because Mila rode with Bellamy doesn’t mean you can take it out on us, Nehemiah. She likes him because he’s confident. He’s talkative, likeable, and social. You are not. If you want her to like you, you need to either change or give up but pick one soon. Because, we’re all sick of it.” 

_Bam!_

Nikko hit Ezra across the face.

A full fight broke out and Eren and Levi were in shock as they quickly pulled over on the side of the winding roads of Gatlinburg. It was just a narrow shoulder with a slight bump out for cars to park and take pictures. Levi got out of the car and opened the door, Nikko’s nose was bloody and he was afraid it was broken, Ezra’s was definitely broken. 

He pulled him out and Nikko was blood red and fuming. Eye’s pink and full of seething rage. He was on fire, he was on a warpath.

Ezra was bruised all over his neck, he had a black eye, and cuts.

Eren had him now and was checking him out.

Neither boy spoke and Levi and Eren didn’t know where to even begin.

Their children were polite, calm, reasonable, and used words instead of fists. This was almost unimaginable. They could have swore it would be Judah they’d have to worry about. Gisela was the other potential violent child for the sheer fact that she was just like Judah but kept a better lid on it.

Levi turned Nikko around to try and wipe some of the blood off. Donner whimpered in the back and then he heard it. “What happened!? Did you get hit by something? WAS IT A STRAY BULLET!? ARE THEY SHOT?! THERE’S BLOOD!” Erwin left the car running and Armin was getting out with him, “I have a first aid kit!” His voice was nervous and concerned. Eren gave him a look from their childhood and then another car pulled over, “Achki! Ma Kara!? (What’s going on!?)” 

Levi grit his teeth, “Just a...little...brotherly quarrel.” Armin, David, and Erwin all turned to stone, blinking owlishly. David looked at Ezra and then at Nikko and got back in the car, “I’ll meet y’all in Gatlinburg.”

Erwin and Armin had one thought: _Fuck, I wish we could leave because this is so bad what the fuck these kids never fight I don’t wanna adult parenting is hard and adulting is hard nope nope nope._

Levi was joined by Erwin in cleaning up Nikko. He looked horrible, split lip, bloodshot eyes. Armin touched Ezra’s nose, “Levi, you gotta set it before it...you know...I don’t really know. Their blood is mystical.” Eren laughed shortly and sharply. Armin glared and he just laughed again, “I dunno why I’m laughing. I’m just really uncomfortable.” Armin nodded his head, “Ezra?” Ezra glared at Armin like Eren did as a child. It wasn’t really a glare at him but at the world, “I’m going to put Yoni in your seat and you’re gunna ride with us, okay?”

Eren loved Armin so much he could cry. Armin picked Ezra up and walked over to the car, opening the door and asking Yoni to ride with Aba and Baba. He put Ezra in the seat and the rest of the Smiths stared in disbelief. They were too shocked to speak yet. When Yoni was walking over to the other car Eren clutched Armin’s cuff, “You’re mind is so beautiful, thank you. I love you.”

Armin smiled and blushed, “Thanks, Eren.”

Erwin put Nikko back in his seat while Levi checked on Ezra and then Donner. He walked back over to Eren, Armin, and Erwin with the car doors all shut, “When we get to town, we’ll take the kids to their rooms and get them ready for naps. That’s when Eren and I will handle Nikko and Ezra. Because….I don’t know. I don’t know how to do anything and I’m just playing parent right now but I don’t wanna play anymore because this is hard.”

Eren screeched into laughter, “Me either! HAHAHAHAHA I am so lost. I don’t know what just happened. Pacifist Nikko and Animal King Ezra. What is this? A fucked up version of the Lion King?”

Erwin kissed Levi, “Okay, let’s just get to the chalets.” They parted and finished the trip.

****

Erwin kissed Aviva’s head as he held her to him. Armin put Yoni in his bunk bed and then picked Tuvia up to put in his, “Daddy and I are going to take you somewhere special tomorrow. We’ve just got to arrange it today and make sure it’s all set.” He puckered his lips and Tuvia sat up to kiss him. Erwin was still holding Aviva when he turned around. Armin smiled, “Erwin, she needs to go to bed.” 

Erwin pouted, “She’s fine.” Armin gave him a commiserating look, “Erwin, I know. But, she needs her princess sleep.” He sighed and handed her over. Armin put her in her bunk and then Zev came out of the bathroom, “I don’t wanna go to sleep. I want to see Nikko.” Armin gave him a little pop on his butt, “Hush, get into bed and STAY. I MEAN IT.” Zev gave an offended look, “VATI!”

Armin stared, “Why is there chocolate on your mouth?”

Zev went scared stiff, “Um, my mouth sometimes leaks chocolate.”

Armin raised an eyebrow. He reached out after licking his finger and swiped some chocolate. He tasted it, “Yeah, the exact kind of chocolate Gisela and Judah were eating?”

Zev blinked, “Were they eating chocolate?” He pretended he had no idea. Armin would have laughed but he was trying to be an adult.

Erwin started to laugh.

Fuck, betrayed by his own husband.

****

Eren kissed Gisela all over her face while she smiled and giggled. Judah smiled softly as Eren hugged him and kissed him, too. Eren’s fingers carded through their hair, one white like snow and the other inky like his father's. He kissed them again and they curled up around one another like kittens in a cradle. They were so sweet to one another and so sweet when they were asleep. 

He turned around and tucked Keita and Hannalore in before leaving the room to head into the living room. Mikasa had Nikko, his head in her lap and eyes full of tears as he sulked. David was looking Ezra over while Levi put bandaids on his cuts. Levi had been in even more shock when David and Mikasa had had to separate the boys in another fight. This was out of control.

”Ezra?” David’s voice was soft and soothing. Levi loved it because when he listened to it he himself felt like everything was going to be okay. Ezra looked up, “Dohd? (Uncle which means “Dear One.”)” Ezra was so cute and innocent. He looked up at him and David melted. He picked his moose stuffed animal up and handed it to Ezra, “Now, what on earth could ever make you hit your brother?”

Ezra offered a weak protest, “He hit me.” David closed his eyes, “I know, both of you had a hand in it. I am not accusing just you, motek. But, please, why has such a tragedy happened?” Ezra pushed his toes into the carpet and lowered his eyes, “Nikko is just...really upset. I wasn’t nice to him.” David sighed slightly, “Why would you not be nice to him?” Ezra was ashamed, “Because I don’t like when he’s upset because he gets sour and he’s not nice.”

David ran his hand across his hair, “Why is he upset?” Ezra bit his lip, “I don’t want to say. He should say.” David pulled him into a hug, “What does he do when he’s upset?” Ezra squirmed, “He’s just mean, like, sometimes he doesn’t make Judah be nice and he just lets everyone else do what they want or he won’t play with anyone and he sits alone….he just sticks to himself and isn’t nice. He’s just sad and I don’t like it and no one else does but…”

Mikasa still had Nikko and she made a slight noise that David knew so well. She’d figured some of it out, maybe even all of it. David picked Ezra up, “Will you promise to not start another fight? You know this isn’t right and it only hurts you both.” Ezra nodded shyly, “He’s my brother. He should be happy.” Levi wanted to cry because of the look David gave him.

Levi walked over to Mikasa and looked down at Nikko who was still staring at a place on the floor like he could burn it with his eyes. Mikasa caressed his face and then she pulled him in her lap, “You don’t have to change yourself, Nehemiah. There is nothing wrong with you. You are a beautiful collection of individuality, crafted by the universe, connected with everything and everyone. You are so young, but you know what you want and there is a curse in that. Focus comes with the warrior spirit. Pacifist as you are, you posses all the potential of the warrior. You’re brother loves you and he just wants for you to not be hurt. You have to have patience, Nehemiah. Because, you are much older than your fellow siblings and cousins.”

Nikko looked over at Levi and then sagged against her. She picked him up and Levi opened his arms to him, “I need to speak with you. Come on, you’re going to take a nap in our room.” Nikko nodded and was passed to Levi. He was too big for that but he didn’t care. Levi carried him into their room and laid down on the bed with Nikko on his chest, “Okay, why did this happen?”

Nikko sniffled, “I just wanted to be left alone.” Levi hummed, “Ezra said that it was because Mila rode with Bellamy.” Nikko was curling in on himself and Levi felt badly for him, “Bellamy said he’s going to marry Mila. He wants me to be the rabbi.” Levi’s eyes widened, “Oh? At eleven years old he’s going to marry? That doesn’t make any sense. What's his credit score? Who will sell him a house? What does he do for work? Can he cook for himself?” Nikko was angry, he looked at Levi with frustration in his eyes, “He said when they get older!” Levi tch’ed, “Well, Mikasa said it best. People change and they think they’re going to do some things when they’re young but it doesn’t always work out like that.”

Levi and Nikko spoke longer until Eren came in and crawled in the bed, “It’s time for my nap, Aba.” He smiled at Levi and Levi rolled his eyes, “Nikko, Baba is tired. Let’s sleep.” Nikko moved between them and they held their little boy safely in their arms. It didn’t matter how old he got, he’d always be theirs.

***

Eren kissed Levi’s back softly, sensually in the shower, “He’s full of surprises.” Levi hummed, his eyes closed, “Both of them are.” Eren wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him closer, lips and teeth against his skin, “She hasn’t got a clue.” Levi frowned, “Sadly, no. Mila is oblivious. Hanji says she worries about her because she seems to be seeking out men like Mike but if she doesn’t go for them she idolizes me.” 

Levi opened his eyes, “Which is ridiculous because I’m not good at all.” Eren laughed and Levi pushed back on him, “Shut up, brat.” Eren kissed the side of his neck, “If she’s smart, she’ll wake up and see that a mini Levi is right in front of her.” Levi kissed Eren, “Hanji says it’s me or nothing.” Eren chuckled, “Hmmmm oh no, I’ve got you and it’s going to stay that way.” Eren turned him around and pressed him against the wall, “I think Nikko might need to get into a sport or something.” Levi burst into laughter, “What the fuck, that’s such a 50s father thing to suggest. Are you straight now?” 

Eren smiled and kissed him more, “No, definitely not straight. So gay, it’s almost a shame.” Levi nuzzled his face into his collar bone, “Not a shame at all.”

***

”DADDY! WHAT ARE WE DOING?” Tuvia was smiling ear to ear as Erwin put the hard hat on him, “Vati and I thought you might want to see how they build these chalets on the sides of the mountains. Then, they’re going to show us how they do the ski lifts!” Erwin looked at Armin who was turning green just as the thought of it, “Vati will pass on that one but you’ll get to go with me to look at how they’re doing the new domes in those pretty apartments we went by.” 

Tuvia bounced, “Pretty apartments for pretty vati.” Armin smiled, “Exactly, remember Tuvia, vati is a delicate flower.” Erwin chuckled, “That’s why vati needs daddy.” Armin rolled his eyes and turned to get Tuvia’s scarf, “You know, Tuvia, daddy never gets your scarves or gloves does he?” Erwin stopped smiling and Tuvia stood wrapping the scarf and letting Armin get his gloves ready, “Daddy doesn’t even dress himself. He told me that when I grow up, I needed to find someone like you.” 

Armin smiled, “Why is that?” Tuvia smiled wickedly, “Because, you’re a mom. He needs a mom. I’m going to need a mom.” Armin tilted his head to the side as Erwin pulled him away, “Okay, stop getting me in trouble.” Armin gave him a look and he knew he was in for it. 

They walked up to the contractor and architect. The engineers were trailing behind, “Mr and Mr Smith?” Armin smiled and nodded while Erwin kept Tuvia in front of him, nudged between his legs, “Yes, we’re here!” Tuvia looked around, “How do you dig the foundation?” The men laughed, “Well, let’s jump right in!”

They toured the chalets and talked about building from the ground up. The architect showed Tuvia blueprints and he loved them, “Can I go to school for this?” The man smiled, “Of course, you can.” Armin kissed Tuvia on the cheek, “We can see what can be worked into our curriculum, too. You know, I bet Dedka probably has a talent for these things. He built his cabin and I think daddy said he studied something like this in Russia.”

When they left for the ski lift Armin closed his eyes and got on with them. Tuvia looked up at him, “But, you're afraid, vati!” Armin nodded, “But, you're my snootle doople, Tuvia!” Tuvia smiled and Erwin put his arm around both of them holding them tightly against him. Tuvia squirmed in between them, “Daddy, LOOK! LOOK! LOOK! Can you see it?! See how the bolts have to be tightened?” Armin stared in horror, white as a ghost, “Oh HaShem…..what have I done?”

**

The new dome was magnificent and impressive. Armin looked up at it as Tuvia followed the engineers around. They liked him, his wit, his fire. This was the most alive he ever was. Other than now, he was reserved and wanted to be alone. He wasn't mean about it, it was just a fact. Tuvia did what he wanted and how he wanted when he wanted. Zadkiel was at the chalet with Hanji and he sent him a few pictures of Tuvia. Zad would want to see this. 

They ate lunch at the ski resort but now it was getting late and dinner was all that was on Erwin’s mind. “We should do a date night, my love.” Erwin reached over to take Armin’s hand, “Let me guess, The Peddler?” Erwin smirked, “Yeah, baby, let’s go with those lame ole Ackermanns. We can pay for the older kids to babysit.” Armin frowned, “Um, what?” Erwin shrugged, “Mila and Bellamy are eleven.” Armin stared, “They are CHILDREN!”

Erwin was quiet, “Armin, we were all just children when they came. That terrible day.” Armin looked at him, “Tuvia, put your headphones on.” Tuvia put his Dr. Dre headphones on and they could hear his music, “Erwin, stop.” Erwin cleared his throat, holding Armin’s hand tighter, “On that day, mankind received a grim reminder,” Armin popped him, “STOP.” Erwin continued, “…of the terror of being at their mercy…” Armin popped him, “Nooooooooooo stop!” Erwin smiled wickedly, “…of the humiliation of being trapped inside a cage.” Armin covered his ears and Erwin continued, “We lived in fear of Titans, and were disgraced to live in these cages we called walls.”

******

Hanji shrugged, “I can watch them.” Jean and Marco were there now and Mila was asleep in Jean’s lap. Marco was holding Gio while he slept, too. Jean and Marco were like that. Their kids just slept wherever and whenever when they traveled. Mila had been Jean's buddy lately and he didn't mind. Bianca getting older was crushing him. 

”No, that's not fair.” Levi said slowly and she snorted, “I'm an adult.” He cut his eyes over, “Are you?” There was a slight mischievous smirk in the corner. She smiled, “Oh yeah, I'm a grown ass woman.” Her phone went off and she silenced it, “Who is it, Hanji?”

Armin was trying to read her and she knew it, “No one.” Jean snorted, “It's that Oskar guy.” Eren perked up, “Oskar?” Cesare appeared and climbed into Eren’s lap to go to sleep, “Your children are monkeys.” Jean sneered, “Shut up, Eren!”

Marco pressed, “Doesn't Oskar work with Vadimas? He's tall and has black hair, really pale,-”

Hanji cut in, “He has a blood disorder!”

”So,” Armin began, “you study him?”

Hanji was beet red, “Vadimas and he work together. He's from Romania. His parents were Hungarian and Romanian.”

Erwin smiled, “Where in Romania is he from? Transylvania?” Erwin’s smile was wicked and she didn't reply. “Oh HaShem, he is!”

She stood up, “Mean, you're all mean!”

Levi picked at the cushion he sat on and Eren quietly watched him. Armin scrolled through his phone, “They have a staff that watches kids. A few hours will be fine. Look, these girls look swell. I'll pick them.” Erwin kissed the top of his head, “My baby can do everything.”

****

Yoni rolled over and Hannahlore was drawing in her notebook, “Lore?” She looked up, hair in a neat plait braid, “Yonatan?” He smiled, “Do you think when we’re older you can make my apartment look nice?” She rolled her eyes, “Are you even gunna have an apartment?” Yoni smiled, “Of course, a really chic one in the city.” Hannahlore was tight lipped but then again she had to admit a deal was a deal. She extended her hand, “It’s a deal. I have to be the first one you call.” 

He shook her hand, “I’m a Smith. You have my word.” He wouldn’t let go of her hand. She laid her head on the floor and gave him a very Mikasa look. There was a slight smirk to her lips, “Keita is coming up the stairs right now.” Yoni dropped her hand, “Wanna play cards?” She giggled, “Yeah.”

****

Mikasa’s arms were crossed as Bianca played in the snow in front of her, “Jean?” Jean walked over, hot chocolate in his hand, “Yeah, Miki?” She turned to him, “I want Bianca to model some of my winter things for Scotch and for my lines in other counties.” Jean stared, blinking, “Are you serious?” She nodded, “Get your camera and take pictures of this right now.”

Jean started snapping photos and Bianca stopped playing, “Papa, what are you doing?” Jean lowered the camera, “Taking modeling pictures.” She gave him a Marco smile, “Papa, you’re weird.” Ezra popped out of a snow mountain, “Yeah he is!” Cesare threw a snowball at Ezra, “SHUT UP!” Bianca giggled and then saw Bellamy, “Bellamy! Please play with me!”

Bellamy ran over and into the snow he fell taking her with him, “JEAN! ALL OF THE LAUGHTER! THAT’S WHAT I WANT!” 

_Flash_

_Flash_

_Flash_

Marco walked up, “Um, what about Keita and Hannahlore?” They turned, “You’re right!” Mikasa started clapping her hands together to get the attention of the kids, “I need Bellamy, Bianca, Keita, and Hannahlore here now!” Thus, the Mikasa Modeling Agency was born. *** 

Bianca ate her candy apple with Lilly while Ilya sat cross legged in the floor with Maxim, hand out and open. There was a tense moment of silence and then, _WAM!_ “Owwwww! Maxi, you got me!” Alexi rolled his ball on the floor, “Papa, Tatti, play with me! I want to play soccer!” Maxim and Ilya stood up, “Of course! We’ll play. Lilly? Bianca?” They nodded wrapping their apples up in wax paper. They went outside and Armin and Levi followed, “COATS! GLOVES! SCARVES! WARM CLOTHES! PUT EVERYTHING ON RIGHT NOW!” 

They went out and Alexi was all smiles, “Papa, when I grow up I’m going to play soccer professionally!” Maxim smiled, “Not if you cannot beat the two most frightening soccer players in all of Siberia.” Ilya paused and blinked, “Who are they, Maxi?” Maxim whipped his head over at him, “Us!” Ilya smiled so brightly it almost blinded Maxim, “OH RIGHT! US!” 

Alexi kicked the ball and they started play. David watched and then whistled, “Damn...that kid is good.”

***

Levi wiped the dishes and put them in the dishwasher while Hanji helped. She snorted, “Stupid to basically clean them before cleaning them. Levi looked at her, “Oskar?” She paused, “He’s just a really nice guy, Levi. He’s nice to Mila, to Vadimas, and everyone else. You okayed the hire.” She gave him a pointed look and Levi furrowed his brow, “I did?” 

Armin tried to quietly place the cleaned plates away. Levi turned around, “Mami? Care to step in?” Armin bit his lip, “He was qualified and you were so tired so I just...signed for him to come on. You’re barely here, Velvel!” He pouted and tried to appeal to Levi’s sensibilities and penchant for shota potatoes. Levi did find Armin’s outfit to be so cute it made his toothache and cock hard, “Armin, please don’t forge legal documents.”

Armin pouted, “Don’t call the kettle black.”

Levi rolled his eyes and Hanji smiled, “He’s nice.”

***

Mila walked inside of Eren and Levi’s bedroom. Nikko was asleep and she realized that she could take this time to snoop. She found one of Levi’s shirts and smelled it. Levi smelled so incredibly good. So did Nikko. She’d never admit it but Nikko had this smell that made her head feel funny. It was like Levi’s but not as strong. Maybe it was because he was younger?

At any rate, Mila could die and go to heaven from smelling Levi’s shirts. She looked at Nikko and couldn’t imagine that the rumors could be true. Nikko was sweet, kind, and passive. He wouldn’t hurt a fly. Nikko was safe. “Nikko?” She didn’t think she was too loud but he must have heard her and he stirred. He opened his eyes, “Hey.” He looked at her more, “Why are you holding Aba’s shirt?” She dropped it, “It was on the floor.”

He was really feeling sassy, “That’s a lie. Aba is perfect.” She was taken aback and then she smiled, snorting, “True. Uncle Levi is the perfect person.” Nikko pulled the blanket over his head and she frowned. Nikko was not in a good mood. He never ignored her like that.

He wanted her to leave. She was his problem and if she’d just leave then maybe he could go back to sleep.

The bed sagged and he felt her crawl in.

She inhaled and searched for his hand under the blanket.

She began to sing.

”In einer Welt, in der man nur noch lebt 

Damit man täglich roboten geht 

Ist die größte Aufregung, die es noch gibt, 

Das allabendliche Fernsehbild.”

”Jeder Mensch lebt wie ein Uhrwerk 

Wie ein Computer programmiert 

Es gibt keinen, der sich dagegen wehrt 

Nur ein paar Jugendliche sind frustriert”

”Wenn am Himmel die Sonne untergeht 

Beginnt für die Droogs der Tag 

In kleinen Banden sammeln sie sich 

Gehn' gemeinsam auf die Jagd.” 

He could hear the smile in her voice and he was glad the blanket covered his own.

”Hey, hier kommt Alex! 

Vorhang auf für seine Horrorschau 

Hey, hier kommt Alex! 

Vorhang auf für ein kleines bisschen Horrorschau!”

Nikko Ackermann was hopelessly in love with Mila Zacharias.

***

Mila brought Nikko into the livingroom and Hanji’s phone kept buzzing. Mila picked it up and then in a fit of rashness that even surprised her she answered it, “Hello.” Nikko’s eyes were about to bulge out of his head, “Mila…” He tried to weakly appeal to her, “Oskar? Yes! We’re in Gatlinburg! Ohhhhhh you should come say hi!” Nikko and Mila looked at each other unsure of this brashness she was engaged in. They were going to be sensible adults one day. This was something the other kids would do. This is something Zev would do.

Hanji appeared, “Um...what are you doing?” Mila gave a weak look that read something like scared, in trouble, and uh-oh, “I told Oskar he should stop by.” Hanji turned pink from head to toe, “Give. Me. The. Phone.”

***

Cesare was cutting out shapes in paper and Lilly sat with him coloring, “I think you’re really talented.” Cesare paused, “Really?” She nodded, “Yep.” She reached over, “Can I do patterns on these?” He thought about it, “Yeah, that might be neat.” Lilly started coloring, “What do you want to be when you grow up, Lilly?” She hummed, “A business woman and fashion blogger.” 

Cesare snorted, his face was just like Jean’s when he was letting the air out of someone’s balloon, “Fashion blogging is a fad, Lilly.” She turned to look at him, “I know, that’s why I’d capitalize on my looks and followers until I was able to brand and then run it. I’m going to be like Aunt Mikasa. I’m going to be a self-made woman. I’d be worried about starving as an artist if I was you.” She went back to coloring and Cesare started to have a first-decade-of-life crisis. “Shit.”

Ezra appeared from behind the couch, “PUT A DOLLAR IN THE SWEAR JAR!” He was enraged, “SHUT UP, EZRA!”

***

Gio found Tuvia when he was brushing the snow off of his boots, “Tuvia?” Gio made shifty eyes and Tuvia smiled. They were the secret best friends but Marco knew and if he knew Armin knew and if Armin knew Levi knew so the important adults knew and that was okay. What was okay about them was that they let them prank Erwin and Eren and sometimes Jean and David.

Gio saw that they were getting ready for dinner and he had an idea. “Distract Baba.” Tuvia smirked and saw Eren happily walking through the livingroom to his bedroom. Tuvia fell down, “OW! BABA!” Eren’s eyes were so wide, “TUVIA! WHAT HAPPENED, BABY?” Eren got on the floor and Gio snuck into the room.

When he came back out a few minutes later Tuvia made a speedy recovery and hugged Eren, “Thank you, Baba. I love you.” Eren hugged him tightly, “I love you, my little snootle dootle pootle!”

Gio had replaced Eren’s powder with itching powder. A classic.

The duo moved to Erwin now. How would they prank him?

Gio saw the chance when it came to his wallet. They grabbed it and then went to find their monopoly set. They’d take his cards and put the monopoly money in the wallet. He’d try to buy dinner for everyone like always. They snickered at the placed the bills in neatly. Luckily, their daddy was weird and sometimes had euros so the colors wouldn’t throw him off at first. He said he carried euros because it made him feel like a big deal. Vati had scoffed and then he took his face and said “let me borrow this” and kissed him all over.

Ewww, adults were weird. Kissing was icky.

Gio and Tuvia threw the wallet on his jacket and watched as Erwin stomped into the room looking around. He saw his wallet and grabbed it, “BABY! I FOUND IT!” Armin appeared, “I swear, Erwin, sometimes you’re like having another child!” Erwin tried to look shameful but instead he grinned a shit eating grin, “Baby, I...I can’t take you serious when you’re mad. You’re just so cute.” Armin was not amused and he stuck his tongue out.

Zadkiel appeared, “Little fire, little gangster, what trouble are you two up to?” Gio covered his mouth and Tuvia pointed at Erwin. Zad smirked, “Pranks. I want in on this.” Gio shook his head, “Not this time, Dedka. You’re too big.” Zadkiel hummed, “This is true. But, can I pick the next one?” Gio nodded his head, “Ilya. Because if you mess with him it’ll be Maxim that feels the pain.” Zadkiel started to chuckle and Gio and Tuvia joined in in one big maniacal laughter fest.

“OY, Stop laughing like that.” Levi glared at them.

When he left Gio looked around and saw something red peeking out of one of the toy bags, “Ohhhhhhh I have an idea.”

***

Hanji fiddled with her hands, “I’m staying tonight so it’s okay.” Armin gave her a sad look, “Hanji, for real, come with us.” She seemed off, “Um...I was going to have dinner here anyway.” Gisela walked around the corner and stopped suddenly. She tilted her head to the side and smiled. It was a little creepy. Donner walked up behind her and nosed her with his nose.

She turned around smiling, “Donner!” He licked her and she hugged him, “I love you.” Donner nosed her and Hanji and Armin returned to their conversation, “Armin, I’m not part of a pair. It would be weird.” Armin sighed, “Hanji….we just think you deserve it.” She tried to laugh it off, “Armin.” She lifted her arms and then threw them down. She looked him in the eye, “I’m just not ever going to be okay.”

When Hanji left Gisela reappeared, “It’s okay. We’re going to fix it.” She handed Armin Hanji’s phone and he blinked, “Wow, Gisela, is this why you smiled?” She nodded, “Because you’re going to do it. I know it. I love you, vati!” She jumped up and down and raised her hands for him to pick her up.

Armin giggle and did so, “I love you, Gigi.” He kissed her and then Levi appeared, ‘I want kisses.” She kissed him and Armin passed her to him, “Come spend time with me, Giselka.” Levi started to walk away when Armin turned, “I want kissies.” Levi smiled and kissed him, “Mami always gets kissies.” Gisela curled around her father, “Aba, will you read to me?” He kissed her head, “Of course, my love, my soul.”

***

The adults went out to eat and Hanji bravely resigned herself to taking care of all of these kids, “Hanji?” Bellamy and Alexi were at her side, “Can we watch War Horse?” She stalled, “Uhhhhh that’s kind of an intense movie.” Bellamy and Alexi pouted, “Pleassse?” Nikko was nudged by Bellamy, “Um please?” She rolled her eyes, “Nehemiah Ackermann, you don’t like anything that has any kind of cruelty in it!” Zev appeared covered in powder, “HANJI! PLEASE IT HURTS!”

She saw him red and crying, “HELP!” She ran over to pick him up and took him to the nearest bathroom throwing him in, “Zev! What happened!?” Zev tried to wipe the powder off, “Vati always puts some on my legs but he forgot and when I went in it fell and then POOF and then OWWWWW!” She scrubbed him, “It doesn’t make any sense!” She kept scrubbing and Gisela appeared, “Zev!? Are you okay?”

Zev paused, mouth open and then he flew into his huge over personified self, “GIGI! I AM INDESTRUCTIBLE! HAHAHAHA OF COURSE, I AM FINE! NOTHING CAN HURT ME! I AM MADE OF STEEL! IT’S HANJI WHO WAS HURTING! Now, just go and play! Zev the White Prince will come and find you in a little bit. Hahahahaahhaahhaahhaha.” Keita was at the door, “Gisela? Will you come watch the movie with me?”

Zev frowned, “Hey, WAIT! I’M COMING RIGHT NOW!” Hanji laughed, “Not till you get dry!” She ran a towel over him and he frowned, “Hanji, I gotta go protect GIsela.” Hanji rolled her eyes, “Gisela is a warrior princess. Someone needs to protect you and Keita from her.” Zev pouted, “She’s a delicate flower.” Hanji burst into laughter, “Wow, you’re just like your daddy. If you have a crush on someone, they’re perfect.” Zev sputtered, “I DON’T HAVE A CRUSH ON GIGI! SHUSH!” Hanji walked into the living room, “Momma, you’re all wet.”

Mila was in her pajamas and Hanji looked down, “Oh, I am. Oh well.” Mila and Hannahlore had their knitting supplies. They sat on a blanket and started knitting while the movie was waiting to begin. Nikko moved to sit by Mila and Mila leaned her head on his shoulder. Bellamy wasn’t that happy about it but the glare Judah was giving him made him stay silent. Yoni appeared and wiggled between Hannahlore and Lilly.

Tuvia and Gio appeared and saw Zev’s red skin, “What’s wrong with your skin!?” Zev shrugged, “The powder made me itchy.” They exchanged glances, “Oh...about that..” Zev was told the story while Hanji counted, “Where is Bianca, Cesare, and anyone else I’m forgetting?” Cesare had a black eye when he appeared, “WHAT HAPPENED?” Cesare shrugged, miffed, “Ezra.”

Ezra was grabbed up from behind the couch by the ear, “EZRA! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?” Bianca appeared, “Hanji, someone pulled up in the driveway.” There was the doorbell. She sighed, “Bianca, take my place.” Bianca nodded her head and pinched Ezra’s ear. Aviva came around the table, “Where have you been, little miss?” Aviva looked scared she was in trouble, “Over there stretching. I hadn’t stretched today.” Hanji saw her mat and Gisela’s, “Oh, sorry Aviva.” Aviva nodded, “It’s okay.”

She got to the door and figured it was Eren or Jean and that they’d forgotten something. When she opened the door she saw nothing but large white boxes and a few bags she was surprised. “Could you help me out?” She knew that voice, “OSKAR?!” She started taking boxes and helped put them in the dining room. Soon, it was a few easily carriable ones left in his arms. He had a handsome face, extremely pale, black hair, dashingly demure smile, sweetness around the eyes, and nice white teeth. He had a boyishly handsome face that Gisela, Hannahlore, Bianca, and Aviva all swooned a bit over as the peered up from the back of the couch.

Mila turned too, “Oskar!” She ran around to him and the others watched cautiously as Mila hugged him. Hanji asked what he was doing here, “I was in Gatlinburg doing some touring. I’ve never been here before and everyone told me it was the best place to go for holidays. Then, I spoke with your friend and here we are.” She giggled and jumped up and down, “Will you stay with us?” He smiled, “I brought dinner. I was hoping your mother wouldn’t mind.” Ezra and Zev perked up, “Dinner?”

Oskar looked around, “Mila...are these all your siblings?” Hanji was blushing, “NOOOOOOO! They’re family.” The kids all came around to look at him, “Why are you so pale? Are you like Zev?” Oskar became shy, “Um, what’s Zev like?” Zev grew shy and Yoni took his hand, “I have albinism.” Oskar looked at him and smiled, “No, I have porphyria.” Nikko and Mila exchanged looks and then both had an “ah-ha” moment, “That’s what Dracula had! Vlad the impaler! YOU’RE A REAL LIFE VAMPIRE!”

All of the kids went crazy with questions and soon Oskar had them all around the dining room table while he plated food and Hanji assisted. 

***

”Oskar?” Bianca turned around, “Are you crying?” Oskar wiped a tear from his face, “Of course, Bianca. I love this movie.” Hanji was eating popcorn and stared at his face in the TV. He was too good to be true. “Oskar, were you always a doctor?” Oskar looked at Nehemiah, “No, I was a soldier before. I was a medic.” Hanji didn’t know that and it took her by surprise, “Really?” He smiled kindly, “Yes. It changed my life.”

Zev and Keita were drooling on their blankets as they slept and Gisela and Judah were cuddled under their blanket with Aviva. Judah was not pleased. Tuvia and Ezra had their heads on Donner’s stomach and Yoni was tormenting Hannahlore by sticking his finger in her ear every time she let her guard down. Oskar cleaned up and made coffee for he and Hanji. 

The kids fell asleep or did what they wanted while they sat by the fire place and spoke quietly, “I had no idea you were in the army.” He shrugged, “Yes, it was a hard time but a good time. I made a lot of friends and memories.” She smiled softly, “Did you see combat?” He looked into his cup, “Yes, and now I must say,...” he paused searching for the words, “It was a hard time and a sad time. I lost a lot of friends and have a lot of bad memories that fuel my nightmares as it would be. I sometimes have weak moments where I crumble and fall..” She nodded, “Like anyone would.”

He sipped his coffee, “Something tells me maybe you wouldn’t have.” She blushed and he sat back in his chair, “Holidays are for family. This is a nice family.” She snorted, “This is a zoo.” Tuvia started screaming at Yoni for touching him, “Perfect timing. Should I or you?” Hanji got up, “Me. Yoni will litigate you to death.” He chuckled, “This is an amazing family.”

****

**The Dinner From Hell.**

The car stopped at the curb and the valet came to take the keys. Erwin pulled Armin close against him, “Baby, you look divine.” Eren and Levi got out but Eren was twitching strangely. He pulled Levi to the side when they entered waiting on Jean and Marco, Zadkiel, Mikasa, and David to arrive.

“Come with me.” Levi looked at Eren and gave him the stank eye, “What is going on?” He pulled him into the men’s bathroom and into the handicap stall, “Levi, my privates are on fire!” Levi blinked and then started to chuckle. It bubbled into pure laughter as Eren reacted dramatically, “LEVI! STOP LAUGHING!” Levi tried to cover his mouth but he couldn’t stop the sounds coming out of his mouth. Eren hit him, “I’m serious!”

Levi grabbed him by the waist, “Eren, if you wanted a quickie you should have asked.” Levi pulled him forward and then dropped to his knees, “LEVI I AM SERIOUS THERE IS SOMETHING IN MY PANTS!” Levi kept laughing while he opened his fly and pulled his bottom half down, “Funny, it all looks the same to me.” Eren raised an eyebrow, “You don’t believe me?” Levi started to stroke Eren, “I believe you wanted to fuck in a bathroom.” Eren had an idea, “If that’s what you gotta tell yourself then go ahead with whatever you’ve got planned.”

Levi licked from the base up before taking him into his mouth and sliding all the way down to the base. Levi could suck cock like no one’s business. He started gliding up and down, eyes open and innocently teasing. Eren bucked into his mouth and Levi put his hand up on his ass to push him forward. Eren’s hand went to the roots of Levi’s hair as he started to fuck his mouth. Levi liked it and Eren loved the way his cock would sometimes slip over into Levi’s cheek.

Levi moaned in the back of his throat as Eren continued to roughly fuck him. It was only a until Eren was coming down his throat that Levi started to feel something strange. Eren was slowly coming down and Levi stood up kissing him, come still in some of the corners of his mouth for Eren to find, “Thanks, Levi.” Levi grabbed his ass possessively, “Thank me later, cadet.”

They both felt tingly but that was to be expected. When they got back out and the hostess led them to their private table in a side room overlooking the river. Erwin gave a disapproving look, “Really? In the bathroom?” Levi shrugged, “Eren needed help.” Armin smiled, “Bet he did. I need help. Someone wanna go to the bathroom with me?” Erwin nodded, “I definitely do.”

Ilya reached over and put his fingers in Maxim’s hair, “Maxi and I are thinking of opening a tourist business.” David looked at them, “No.” Ilya shrugged, “Okay, a laundry business.” David gave them and even more pointed look, “No.” Maxim shrugged, “Then a restaurant.” David sighed, “You should….it would be wise if one wanted to invest in something to invest in a restaurant that one cares about and believes will do well but, that’s a hard sell since restaurants fail within in the first five years. One would not enter into such an arrangement easily especially when they have a questionable visa situation themselves.” Mikasa put her hand on his shoulder, “Maxim, Ilya,” she just stared at her plate, “please stop making my husband have a stroke.”

Zadkiel looked over the menu, “I was thinking of starting something.” The table all turned to look at him, “What kind of business does a retired king and army general open?” Armin was perplexed and amused. Zadkiel stared him down, “Pharmaceuticals and consulting for engineering.” Armin’s body was alive, “How are you even qualified?” Zadkiel smiled, “Mother Russia likes education.” He leaned back in his chair, “You know, if I were to do this then Levi and Hanji would have no need of RW for anything they came up with.”

Levi’s water glass fell over empty and Eren was shoving bread in his mouth, “MMMMMM” Levi’s eyes watered and he started stealing Jean’s drink and then Marco’s while Eren pulled at the collar of his shirt, food all over his face and tears rolling down. “MY MOUTH IS ON FIRE!” Levi slapped him, ‘BRAT WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME!?” 

Eren knocked Maxim’s wine into his lap, “Oh! EREN!” He fumed and Ilya reached into his jacket for his handkerchief. He always had one in his suit jacket. He saw the glimpse of red and pulled it out putting it on Maxim’s wet legs when he realized that this was not his handkerchief, “Sir, please remove the snake from the other guest’s lap.” The waitress was aghast and Maxim was blood red. He gritted the words through his teeth, “Why are you wiping at my crotch with a child’s snake puppet!?” Ilya cringed and shrugged, “They call them stuffed animals, Maxi. I could have swore it was my handkerchief.”

“Wait a minute!” Levi’s face was red and Eren’s was too, “Itching powder! IT WAS ITCHING POWDER!” David looked concerned, “What makes you think that!?” Mikasa tilted her head, “Eren always puts powder on his legs. He did it to prevent chafing when he played sports. Just a habit.” Eren squawked, “How do you even remember that!? You’re not my mom!” David still looked confused, “So how did it end up in your mouth?” Marco spat all of his water out on the table and started to lose his shit laughing, “I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS MORE FUNNY, YOUR SITUATION OR DAVID’S INNOCENCE!!!!” Jean was falling over in his chair from laughter, too.

The waitress cleared her throat, “I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to leave. You’re disturbing the other guests.” Erwin and Armin frowned, “Noooooo!” She stomped her foot, “Then get it together. You’re grown adults!” She walked away and Jean looked around, “Adults? Where?” Ilya laughed and Maxim wrapped the snake around his neck, “I’ll strangle you.” he leaned forward and kissed him hotly, tongue pushing into his mouth as he kept him pinned to him. They were really making a scene.

The others averted their eyes and tried to regain some sort of control by ordering more wine and enough food that even Eren couldn’t finish it all.

When it was over, Erwin opened his jacket and asked for the check, “I’m buying.” He smiled, “My dear family, I have news.” The waitress tallied the expenses and wrote them down for the bill while Erwin paused dramatically. Levi drank his wine and then scoffed, “Hurry up, old man. We’ll die at this rate.” He looked at Armin and they exchanged knowing looks. The waitress dropped the bill and he flicked through his wallet and then laid the cash down without thinking much about it.

“I won.”,

The table broke into gasps and claps. “Congratulations, mayor!” Jean raised his glass and everyone else did too. Armin kissed him sweetly and Levi smiled softly as he sipped his wine. Zadkiel was beaming, “My son, the mayor. Well, if I liked government I’d be proud but,” he grinned, “I hate the government so I’m glad that you’re the one that’s going to lead it.” Erwin gave a short laugh, cheeks flushed, and then the waitress tossed the bill back down, “Are you serious? You think you can pay in monopoly money?!” Levi rolled his eyes and Mikasa snorted, “The mayor tried to pay with monopoly money. That does not bode well for us.” 

Erwin was livid, “TUVIA AND GIO! I KNOW IT WAS THEM!” Marco squinted, “Maybe Tuvia, but Gio is an angel.” Armin hissed, “Marco, we both know they do it. It’s not just Tuvia.” Levi held up his card when she reappeared, “I’ve got it.” He looked over at Erwin, “I’m big papa. Always have been and always will be.” Erwin was miffed, “Yeah? And you’re also the one with itching powder in your mouth that you foolishly sucked off a cock. Don’t throw stones.” 

Eren giggled and Mikasa covered her mouth to hide her own smirk. David flushed read, “Oh my, most improper. Very unseemly, indeed.” Marco and Jean cleaned up and Zad stood up. Maxim and Ilya were grabbing on each other like animals. Armin sighed, “You two are like ANIMALS!” He spanked them, “Get a room!”

***

Oskar cleaned up and Gisela helped him. He sat down with her, “Hanji says you sing?” She nodded, “I really like to sing and dance.” He smiled, “My friends in Hungaria sang in the opera in Austria. Would you like a few pieces to listen to? Do you study opera?” She nodded her head, “But, none of the music is that fun.” He frowned and looked through her IPOD, “Oh,” he smiled, “that’s because these are really stuffy and boring arrangements. Here, I’ll get you some good ones.”

Gisela and Oskar listened to music till she fell asleep. He put her in bed with Judah and Zev. “Why is Zev covered in...pop rocks?” Hanji appeared to put Tuvia down, “Because he always finds candy. Like father, like son.” Yoni barely made it in his bed. “Can these three sleep together?” At that moment Aviva crawled in with them, “These four?” Hanji nodded, “Yeah, happens a lot.”

Mila was still awake in the livingroom. Everyone else was gone to go to bed and it was just she and Bellamy. She looked over at him, “Bellamy, when we’re older are you going to take me on a date like in the movies?” He took her hand, “Yep. And we’re going to have so much fun.” She smiled and he leaned over to kiss her cheek while they watched cartoons and ate marshmallows.

***

Maria held a parade for the new Mayor and Erwin was honored like a king. Flowers were delivered to the house and cards were pouring in from all the local business and teachers from from school. Erwin was flushed pink as his sons talked about how wonderful their daddy was at the day school. Aviva told Mrs. Gould all about him, too. She was written up for not paying attention. 

Armin was shopping for the big day and planning a dinner party. Mikasa was helping create outfits since they'd be photographed by all the local news stations and papers. David listened as Levi complained about Erwin’s big head and Eren and Jean thought Erwin was the perfect man. Marco gave Ilya and Maxim council on how they should address their wants with a new mayor in town. 

The day of the parade Eren and Levi stood to the side in coordinated outfits watching as Armin placed Zev and Aviva alongside Tuvia and Yoni in a carefully constructed familial pose that they would stay in for the ride. The Ackermanns, Kirschstein-Bodts, Lavies, and Aristov- Nebetovs were all riding on the float behind theirs.

Armin called over to Eren, “Hurry up and get on the float! I swear, you want to kill me by not doing what you’re supposed to do. You’re killing me! My nerves are shot! My cholesterol is high, my heart hurts!” levi rolled his eyes, “Oy vey, mami stop with the dramatics!” Armin pouted, “I’ll smite thee!” Levi snorted and Eren did too, “He’s fucking adorable.” Eren laughed, “Tell me about it. He’s gunna smite us.” Levi took Eren’s hand, “We laugh, but he could.” Eren kissed his cheek and they walked off to the float.

***

Erwin’s speech was going to go down in history. He stood at the podium and preached kibbutz socialism, small business capitalism, libertarianism, and somehow it all worked. It all made sense and people were receptive to it. There was an understanding that this town, this school, and these people were different from anywhere else in the world. Erwin stressed coming together and the founding of new businesses in order to become self reliant and that also meant incentives for acceptance into the university. It was a hard school to get into but Maria had always had a great number of locals in the classes.

Armin felt like Erwin was worried about something. He thought about how he must not be able to see what that was and that made him worry. Zadkiel held Aviva on his hip standing straight and proud, “He’s trying to get to them to agree to it.” Armin looked at him, “To what?” He inhaled and then turned to look at Armin, “If the time comes, he wants them to embrace isolationism.” 

***

Cesare stood awkwardly and fidgeted with the gift. Erwin walked by in the foyer and Cesare reached out, “Uncle Erwin?” Erwin stopped, “Yes, sweetie?” Cesare handed him the gift and then turned back into his resting bitch face that he inherited somehow from both Eren and Jean. It was a large box, white paper on the outside with interesting watercolor splotches, “Lilly did the watercolors.” He offered quietly, nervously. “Just lift from the bottom, the top will come off with the red bow so you don’t have to tear it or anything.”

Erwin smiled, “Let me set it down over here on the table!” He did so and Cesare walked behind him. Erwin lifted the box and gasped at what was revealed. Intricately cut pieces of paper that showed before him his very own inauguration that happened just a few hours ago. Everything was there, the buildings, cars, some floats, his family, and more. All in stark pristine white with accent colors of green and navy. It was a masterpiece, “When...how did you do this?”

Cesare moved his foot on the floor, “I did it during the ceremony, some of the things I couldn’t do last night. Like, where you were going to stand and what things would look like for real.” Delaine appeared, “OH CESARE! How wonderful!” Gio was behind her and all smiles, “This is proof, he’s a genius.” Marco smiled as he came around the corner, “Like papa like son.” They all showed his creation off and the other kids thought it was extremely cool.

*

There was a knock on the door and Hanji went to open it, “Oh...Oskar.” She smiled and blushed a bit while he did the same. He had flowers, “I...these are for you, Hanji. You’ve not been at the hospital lately.” Vadimas was eating sweet cheese biscuits from Jim and Nick’s while Gisela and Judah watched The Nightmare Before Christmas on their IPad and colored. Gisela looked up and smiled, “Oskar! I like my music!” He turned to look at her, “That’s very good news, Miss Gisela.” She moved off the bench and ran over to hug him.

Oskar smiled looking down at her and then when he lifted his head Levi was there, “Who are you?” Levi’s eyes were piercing and his face looked disgusted. “This is Oskar, Aba. He’s Hanji’s boyfriend.” Hanji and Oskar both sputtered and flushed red. Levi’s angry vein came out. Nikko came and took his hand, “Aba, you must sit. The angry vein is here.” Zev came up to Oskar, “Why are you still touching Gigi? Hugs are only supposed to last two seconds and this has been just dragging out.”

Zev picked her up and put her over his shoulder, “You should learn how to hug.” He mumbled as he walked back over to a glaring Judah. Oskar laughed, “Oh my. He’s smitten with her, isn’t he?” Hanji nodded her head, “Painfully so.” Erwin and Armin appeared, “IS THIS OSKAR?” Eren tripped over a million things breaking many of them, “BRAT!” “OSKAR? THE FAMOUS OSKAR?” Delaine and Gio even joined in. 

Oskar was brought around the living room to be interrogated by all, Zadkiel even joined in. He was also then made to join in on a huge family lunch with other friends and family while the back yard was set up for that night’s big party at the house. Maxim and Ilya were the nicest of them all in his opinion and he stuck to them while Hanji tried her best to keep him from the firing squad.

Levi did not speak to him and he liked it like that. Levi was clearly the one in charge of the family. The blond coconut was, too. He just let Erwin think that he was the leader. Oskar may have been uncomfortable but he loved how this family worked. 

Vadimas sat down, “This is a marvelous family, isn’t it?” Oskar nodded, “It is.” *** 

That night Oskar sat with Gisela and Judah, “Well, the Vikings did a lot of really interesting things. Women had rights in their society and as you know, their language is Germanic and…” Levi listened as Gisela and Judah asked questions. Nikko joined them after a while and he seemed to be very at ease with Oskar. Lilly appeared, “Uncle Levi?” Levi looked at her, “Yes?” She stared, “Where are you from?” He tilted his head to the side, “France. Why?” She looked at him and shrugged, “Do you ever want to go back?” He smiled, “Yes, and that’s why we do.”

She crawled into his lap and he let her settle against him, “I want to go to Russia even though I’ve never been. Is that weird?” He kissed the side of her head, “No, going home is never weird. It’s in the blood. It knows things and it tells you things. You’ll go to Russia one day to visit. Maybe you’ll study there?” She smiled, “I want to be powerful.” He laughed shortly, “I want you to be powerful, too.”

“Uncle Levi?” 

“Yes, sweetheart?” 

“Am I a Jew?” 

Levi was caught off guard, “Why….are you asking?” Lilly turned around in his lap, “I asked Zev and Nikko and they said I was. Gisela, Aviva, and Hannahlore know that they are. I’m not sure. And…” Levi’s brow furrowed, “What?” She shrugged, “Keita says I’m not because I go to church.” Levi froze, _Oh, Keita. You’re such a literalist in many ways. David would die if he knew he’d said that to her._ “Keita, meant that if you choose to be a Christian than you will not be a Jew. You will still ethnically be Jewish because both of your parents are but you’ll have chosen another religion. Your papa is a Christian but your Tattie is Jewish. They each chose their religion.” Levi hated everything he was saying because it was such a fucked up thing and hard to explain. Why did he have to explain hard things to children? He just wanted hugs, kisses, and handmade shitty pottery.

He just wanted happy kids.

”Lilly, what do you want to hear?” She blinked and then smiled like Ilya, “I want to hear what I want to hear.” He snorted, “You’re a schoenes maedel, you know that?” (pretty girl) She smirked, “My papa tells me all the time.” Levi nodded and smirked, “Ah, good. Never forget. You don’t need anyone, Lilly. A man or woman. You only need yourself. Live, always live and write and record. You understand? Rely on yourself and only yourself.”

She looked up and put her hands on either side of his face, “Uncle Levi?” He looked her in the eye, “Yes?” She grinned, “Don’t be so serious.” She kissed him and he chuckled, “I’m serious. I have to be serious.” She kissed him again, “I think that’s what uncle Armin does.” He saw Armin come towards them, “He does. He does do the bulk of the worrying.”

Armin stopped at the couch and smiled, “Velvel, come dance with me.” Levi looked at Lilly, “When Armin wants something….” She smiled, “He get’s it!” Armin grinned, “Why?” She turned to him, “Because you’re the prettiest.” Armin snapped his fingers, “Exactly.”

*****

Oskar and Hanji kept running into each other at the hospital and it was annoying Levi. He’d watch them slam into each other around corners and then they’d laugh and blush and just giggle until they couldn’t find a way to end it in any shape or form that led to food or sex. They'd just part ways politely. Levi was disgusted.

He found Hanji in her lab and sat down, “I came into work today and witnessed the most painful display.” She was immediately hooked, “What was it!? Was it in the ER? IT WAS SOMETHING IN SOMEONE’S BUTT WASN’T IT?!” Levi blinked and then closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose, “No, just you and Oskar, giggling like school children.” She went deep inside herself, he could tell. She put her walls up, “Let it alone, Levi.”

He clicked his tongue behind his front teeth, “You like him. It’s not a crime.” She kept typing, “He’s single. The kids like him. He works well.” She kept typing and then, “I’m married.” There was silence, heavy unending silence.

After almost an hour Levi stood up, “He isn’t trying to replace someone. But, he is offering you hope and a little bit of medicine to ease your pain.”

She stopped typing, tears in the corners of her eyes but he couldn't see through her glasses, “Get the fuck out, Levi. You don’t even like him and you wouldn’t say anything like this to yourself if it was Eren who was missing.”

He pushed his chair in and then turned to head to the door. Her voice made him pause, “You know what you remind me of? My father thinking he was helping when he took me to that hill of crosses. I know what I need. I don’t need anyone to tell me that. I don’t want to forget and I don’t want to move on right now. All I want is to make my daughter happy because she’s all I have and all I have left of him. All I want is what I’ve always wanted: to be left the fuck alone to my own devices. Stop pushing me, Levi. You’re not moving me, just pushin’ shit on me.”

He left and she sat at her desk and returned to work.

***

Levi found Vadimas in the children’s section of the hospital. He waited for his round to be over and then he cornered him, “Vadimas, where is Oskar?” Vadimas smiled, “He’s not here today. He went home and is probably just waking up since he works the night shifts.” Levi wasn’t going to let that deter him, “Where does he live?”

*

Oskar heard the banging on his door and quickly came to the door. He’d just woke up and was only in his boxers. The sunlight nearly killed him as it came through the doorway, “We need to talk.” Levi’s voice was deadly serious and Oskar prepared himself, “Come in. The sun is too bright.” Levi tilted his head, “My children say you’re a vampire.” He snorted, “Close enough.”

He came inside and then noticed that the entire apartment was spotless and clean. It was almost completely sterile and smelled so fresh. “You clean….like I do.” Oskar pulled a shirt on, “Yes, that’s a compliment. I loved your home because it was so clean and welcoming to me. I had a compromised immune system growing up, guess it still is but I’ve gotten over it. But, the ritual of cleansing and making pure appeals to me still.” Levi sat down, “I understand.”

They had a pleasant conversation and Oskar had nothing but nice things to say about the children and his family in general, “I saw the band in Montgomery when you played.” Levi raised an eyebrow, “Why didn’t you say anything? We could have comped tickets.” Oskar smiled, “That’s abusing the system.” Levi snorted, “I guess.”

Oskar looked serious, “Gisela has such talent in opera and I think Aviva does, too. They dance and sing, it’s marvelous and Mila talks non-stop about them. But, Zev has a nice voice, too. It’s too bad about his deafness.” Levi’s body was on fire, “His deafness?” Oskar looked like he’d stepped into something and became submissive, “I mean. I believe he’s deaf. Gisela and Judah are both protective of him. I’ve seen Judah write things so that Zev can read it and Gisela makes sure to say things to his face. He reads lips.” Levi wanted to vomit, “He’s never….said anything.”

Oskar looked sad but sincere, “I think a child as in tune with his family as Zev is would not want to be see as more of a bother.” Levi was more upset than ever, “I...came for a different reason and now I feel like I’ve just….oh God, Armin.” He put his face in his hands, “Ask Gisela and Judah to be sure. I’m sure Nikko knows. They are the intuitive children. Ezra probably knows but he likes not being chosen.” Oskar made black tea and sat a cup down, “What did you want to talk about, Levi?”

Levi looked at him, “Hanji.” Oskar inhaled and looked a bit surprised, “Are you here to fight me? I won’t be easy.” Levi blinked, “What?” Oskar blinked, “I mean, you’re protective of her. I understand. She’s amazing.” Levi nodded, “And that’s why you need to ask her on a date, a real date. I’m sick of watching you two fuck around and laugh and then not go through with it. Get out there and ask her.” 

Oskar looked amused, “She’s married. She’s not looking. I can’t ask her when she’s not open to it. I like our friendship and our small flirtation. Maybe it’s for the best? I’m not that great. I don’t deserve nice things. Mila is a jewel and I’d just like to offer her help and her mother the same.”

Levi didn’t understand, “Why don’t you deserve this?” Oskar looked at the coffee table, “Because, my hands are stained with blood.”

Levi shifted in his chair, “So are mine but I still think you should take a chance with her.”

***

Oskar made it to the hospital as she was leaving a week later, “Oskar, you work today?” He smiled, “No ma’am, I wanted to ask you something in person.” She fidgeted, “Yes?” Mila was staying at Mikasa and David’s that night and he'd thought it was the perfect moment to ask her, “Could we get dinner and then you come with me somewhere I really enjoy?” 

She was hit with a lightening bolt, “Uhhhh Uhhhh I dunno...um….I'm so nasty from work I……” He smiled, “I thought so,” he brought a large bag out from behind his back, “so I brought you this because, well, I really want you to say yes.”

She took the bag and looked inside. It was full of toiletries and clothing. She smiled softly thinking about how Levi used to do that for her. Oskar was much nicer about it. For that reason, she must have lost herself in the nostalgia, “Okay. I'll do it.”

She changed and walked out into the hospital pick up and drop off section. He was there, leaning against his car and smiling slightly, “You look wonderful.” She walked forward, “Where are we going?” He opened her door, “Somewhere fun.” He helped her inside and then they were off.

*

She laughed and laughed, “Why are we here!?” He smiled so much it hurt, “Because it’s ridiculous.” A roll hit him in the head. A waiter glared, “SHUT UP, DUMMY!” He laughed more and she nearly peed on herself, “THEY’RE SO MEAN!” He took her to “Dick’s Restaurant.” All the staff was supposed to insult their customers and hurt their feelings. However, Oskar seemed to be amused by it all and no one could hurt his feelings. Hanji was the same, ‘They don’t understand. I grew up with Erwin and then Levi...well...come on Levi can really cut with his words!”

He put her giant paper crown on her head that they had made in a challenge at their table. It said “Trash Queen.” He wore a “Trap King” crown, though he had no idea what trap music was. “Take a selfie with me!” She held her phone up and took a picture of them together, smiling and laughing.

When they finished, he ran them by Bruster's for ice cream, “I’m going to pop from all this food.” He grinned, “You’ll be fine. You deserve it.” She gave him a flirty look, “Do I?” He gave her a sly smirk back, “Yeah, you do.” She stood next to him and swayed back and forth gently bumping into him, “How tall are you?” Oskar hummed, “Just under 6’1. Why?” She shook her head, “Just curious.” She looked at the board, “I want the one with a titan cookie on it and extra sprinkles.” He laughed, “I like that you’re so sure of that.” She blushed and he ordered.

As they drove on with their ice cream he smiled to himself and she smiled because she could feel him smiling, “What’s going on?” Oskar shrugged, “I got the ice cream too early, I think.” She laughed, “Why?” He turned down a familiar road, “Because it’ll be gone by the time my surprise begins.” She saw them pull up at the Preserve sign and she looked around excitedly, “OSKAR! WHAT ARE WE DOING?”

He got out and opened her door, “This is what I like to do on my own time.” His smile was so charming she swooned.

*

The nature preserve had special night shows with nocturnal animals and Oskar loved them. He loved the sounds, the animals, the coolness of the night. He loved everything about it, “When I was little, I was so sick. They never could figure out what was going on with me. The sun makes me tired, hurts my eyes, my head. I used to crave blood.” She rolled over on the blanket while the birds were shown off, “Blood?” He laughed, “Yeah, because my iron was so low. It was so weird.”

She laid her head on the pillow he’d brought, “I like this.” He smiled up at the sky and then covered his face, “My face always hurts from smiling around you.” She moved closer, “Shut up.” He chuckled and she put her arm over his stomach, “You smell like bleach and pine sol.” 

“I know. You smell like old cheetohs and dirt.”

“You like it.”

“I do.”

“Good, because I’m going to destroy you, clean freak.”

“I’ll reform you.”

“Ha, if Levi couldn’t then you won’t either.”

Oskar played with her hair, “We’ll see.”

*****

Levi walked upstairs and started calling Zev’s name. He even held up a finger to a very angry and cranky Zadkiel who was coming down the hallway at the time. He opened Zev’s door slowly, and quietly and saw Zev leaned over a book on his rug by his bed. Judah was asleep next to him and luckily Levi knew that Judah was as heavy a sleeper as his baba. He said Zev’s name again, Zadkiel on his heels and then he turned, hit the switch on the radio and started to blare it. _Nothing._ Zadkiel and Levi stared. Both knew this would be hard enough without factoring in Armin. ***** 

”Where is he going?” Judah asked suddenly as Erwin carried Zev back through the doors of the operating room. Eren looked down at his son, “To surgery for his ears.” Judah stared like someone had spat on him. He looked so disgusted, “He’s hurt?” Eren shook his head, “Kind of.” Judah turned pink, “We don’t get hurt.” Eren was still, “Not like they do, no.” Judah turned even redder, “I don’t understand.” He turned and walked away, Nikko stood up to follow him while Gisela cried silently against Aviva and Armin. 

Yoni was sitting with Zadkiel and Tuvia. Tuvia was just as angry as Judah, “I don't get it. Just give him the serum!” Zadkiel smoothed his hair back, “Little fire, it isn’t that simple.” Yoni looked at his feet, “One day, I’m going to make sure we’re all okay and no one is sick.” Zad smiled, “Oh, you’ll be our fearless leader and provider?” Yoni smiled, “I’m going to protect everyone and manage everything.” Zad chuckled, “I bet you will.”

******

Zev took the rubber tubes out many months later and went to find Gisela, “Gisela?” She stared at him from under the covers in her bed, “Sing for me.”

******

**A glimpse into an Ackermann Smith competitive world**

Gisela felt the sweat roll down her body, she felt her muscles ache, “Again!” Her voice echoed, “Go home, Gisela! My God, you’re twelve!” Aviva came through the door, “We’re not finished in here!” The lights went off and both girls stood panting in the near black room. Gisela heard Aviva slam her water bottle on the floor and Gisela doubled over at the waist and let out an animalistic scream.

When Mila picked them up she was taken aback, “Gisela, why do you have a huge bruise on your shoulder?” She didn’t say anything. She looked just like Judah, ready to fight and wounded. Aviva’s bottle was broken and she tossed it in the trash. “What happened today?” Aviva pushed past and Gisela drank from the fountain and then looked up at her, “Same shit, different day.”

They sat in the car and rode in silence. Mila was a cautious as she tried to untangle this web that the two were so deeply entangled in. “Who got the role as Pamina?” Aviva picked at her tights, “I did.” That was strange. Gisela was the better singer, though it was hardly an easy thing to decide between the two talented girls. “Who got the Swan Queen?” Gisela looked up from her phone, “I did.” Well, there we had it, “He normally has two girls.” Gisela’s face was blank like Levi’s, “Not this year.” She said it with an edge and Mila quickly changed the subject.

When they got home Gisela came inside and went straight up to her room to find Judah in their bed, his finished classwork on the nightstand. She crawled in bed with him and curled into him, “I love her but I might kill her.” He snorted, “I hate her.” She mumbled into his chest, “Stop being like that.” He rolled his eyes, “You said you might kill her.” Gisela pinched him, “I wouldn’t ever really. I love her! That was the first part.”

He sighed, “Got the part, didn’t she?” Gisela was still, “Yeah.” He waited, “And so I took the swan queen.” Judah started to downright laugh, “That’s my Gigi. Cut their balls off.” She nuzzled her face into his chest, “I just want it to stop. I want us to get what we want and not be so competitive.” Her bones ached but not for long. She could recover from her pain, her fractures, all of it but not Aviva. She was always fatigued. “Will you play with my hair?” She asked nicely and his hands went to her bun to undo it so he could do as she wished, “I love you, Gigi.” She pressed her nose into the crook of his neck, “I love you, Judah.”

After a while Judah squirmed and she moved so he could go to the bathroom. It was then that the door opened and Zev came inside. “Gisela?” She looked at him, “Aviva….she’s upset. I don’t want my baby sister to be upset.” Gisela shrugged, “I don’t want to be upset either but it is what it is.” He walked inside and over to the side of the bed, “Please?” She wasn’t moved and he crawled inside of the covers with her, “I’ll give you my special candy.” She snorted, “I can’t be bought.” He stared at her, “The talmud says…” She sighed dramatically, ‘Ugh, not the talmud! I’ll go.”

She moved closer to him and he lightly moved her hair out of her face. There was a tense moment and then it passed. She merely teased him and rolled over him. He stayed in the bed and then smelled her pillow. Judah appeared, “Such a closet freak.”

Zev looked at him and smirked, “Takes one to know one.” Judah looked at him but said nothing, “Come here, Jude. Cuddle with me like when we were really little.” Zev reached out and Judah slapped his hand away, “No!” Zev started to grin and chuckle as he moved quickly to grab a squirming and slapping Judah, “NO! I said no you big ass tree man!” Zev laughed and it echoed in the room, “You love me!” Judah relented and allowed Zev to hold him, “Our sisters are amazing.” Judah snorted and didn’t take a jab at Aviva, “Yeah, they are.”

*****

**Gio finds a purpose.**

”Gio, what do you want to do with your life?” Hannes asked from his chair in his apartment. Bellamy had just turned 16 and decided that they would go to Montgomery that Wednesday to check on him. Gio sat down on the floor with coupons, “I don’t know, I’m 12.” Hannes spat, “Get in that kitchen and make me somethin’.”

Bellamy smiled, “Hurry, though. I have a date.” Hannes rolled his eyes, “A boy?” Bellamy sputtered, “No, a girl!” Hannes opened the paper and they couldn’t see him grin, “And here I thought you were going to be a right proper homosexual like your parents.” Gio laughed, “Papa liked Aunt Mikasa.” Hannes snorted, “I wouldn’t be surprised if your papa liked horses.” Gio burst into laughter but Bellamy was a bit embarrassed.

He set to making something for Hannes to eat and after an hour he had an italian pastry in the cooler to chill. Hannes snorted, “You know who else can bake? Eren. You might have found your calling.” He ate one of the pastries and smiled, “Yeah, I think you found your calling. You could get really popular with these.” Gio shrugged, “I don’t really wanna do anything for popularity, honestly. I just want to have a normal family and work a boring job. Everyone else wants some big important life. Not me. Just simple is good with me. I like blending in and not sticking out.” Bellamy smiled, “That’s why you’re everyone’s favorite, Gio.” 

Hannes nodded, “You’re okay. Now y’all go. Bellamy has a date.”

*

**Bellamy and Mila go on a date.**

Bellamy was putting on a nice royal blue dress shirt when Marco came inside, “Ohhhhhh my son’s first daaaaate!” Jean came in grinning with pride, “And Mila might one day become our daughter-in-law.” Bellamy blushed so red that Jean could feel the heat off of his cheeks from all the way across the room. Bellamy pulled his shoes on, “Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad, Paaaaapaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa stoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop!” He ran out of his room as they followed. Bianca was waiting, “Have a good time, Bell! Remember, we’ll all know everything!” 

Bellamy got in his car and took a deep breath, “They’re so embarrassing.” He looked in the rear view mirror and screamed, “HEY MAN DON’T SCREAM!” Zev, Yoni, and Keita were all in the car. Bellamy kicked them out promptly and dumped them in the driveway. Zev laughed and laughed, “Yoni did you see his face ahahahahahahahahahahaha.” Keita smirked, “He’s very ridiculous. I’m going to find Gigi.” Zev stopped laughing, “She’s sick.” Keita looked at him, “What?” Zev gave him a serious look, “She has fatigue.” He said it with a French accent and Yoni rolled his eyes but Keita couldn’t see him, “Zev, that’s just….whatever man, you’re weird.”

He turned to head inside and Zev ran to beat him inside of the house.

*

When Bellamy pulled up his hands were sweaty and he was nervous. He walked up to the white house and had flowers ready. Oskar’s car was there in the driveway and he felt a bit better about things. Oskar didn’t live with Hanji and Mila but he was there a lot. They’d been dating for almost five years. Wow, that’s crazy. Mila liked him but she said she and her mother still missed her father a lot and Oskar understood because Oskar was cool like that.

Bellamy didn’t know if he’d be cool like that but he hoped he would be.

He knocked on the door and waited.

*

Mila had been through alot with Levi and this was no different. He’d come over and brought a dress for her since she was a little self conscious. She’d pretty much woken up at his house a few months ago and had become even more of a blossoming young woman. She was having none of it, “I HATE THEM!” She clutched her chest and screamed in frustration, “Mila, I promise they’re fine and it’ll get better.” Mila’s face was flushed, “MOMMA! WHY ARE THEY SO BIG? NO ONE ELSE HAS BOOBIES THIS SIZE!” 

Hanji didn’t know what to say, “Well, Gisela probably will so just wait it out. I’m sorry, we’re large chested women in my family. You were just developing and now they're here.” She started crying, “It’s embarrassing.” Levi stood in the corner, “Well, it could be worse.” She turned to look at him, her face hard and so like Hanji’s, “IT HAS BEEN!”

Didn’t he know it.

Hanji had had flu and was at his house for them to take care of her and Mila. Mila was almost 13 at the time. Oskar came frequently but they’d not been dating that long and it was awkward for Levi still. Oskar was nice but he was….Oskar. Mila had been in her room past her normal wake up time and he thought that was odd. Hanji was out cold and Oskar was reading next to her bed.

He knocked on the door and, “NO! GO AWAY!”

“Mila? Why?”

“Don’t come in here!”

He opened the door and she was crying, “Levi?” He was at her side, “Mila?” She was sobbing, “Mila?!” She was bleeding, “I don’t want to be a woman!” Levi paused and then he was embarrassed because he just didn’t know what to say to that. “Well, you’re not...you’re just a young woman.” She stayed curled in on herself and he tried to touch her, “NO! DON’T LOOK AT ME!” She mumbled, “it’s embarrassin’” He paused, “It’s normal, natural. It’s fine. I’ve seen you naked.” That was weird. She looked at him and they stared at each other till she gave him an exasperated look, “That’s weird, Levi.”

“You were a baby.”

“Stop!”

“And you were beautiful and you’re still beautiful.”

She wiped her eyes, “It hurts. I thought I was dying.” He smoothed her hair back, “I think you should get in the shower, clean up, I’ll clean the sheets, and then you can go back to bed” She looked at him, “But, I’ll just make a mess again.” He tilted his head to the side, “Um...why?” She was so embarrassed, “Because I don’t have anything…” He kept looking, “What?” 

“Leeeeeeeeeeeevi, any pads or tampons!”

“No tampons. You’re too young. No. And never mention them again to me please it scars me. Pads….pads….okay. I’ll get them if you just...get in the shower and stay there.” She pouted, “How long?” He shrugged, “Um...long enough. Now hush!” She grabbed him when he tried to get up, “Don’t tell anyone!” She begged and he kissed her head, “I won’t.” 

Mila got up and he cringed. He’d have to scrub everything.

He set to work and thought about how he’d accomplish it all and in a short amount of time. He dumped the sheets in the washroom sink and then grabbed his car keys, “Okay, where do I buy lady shit…..” He went to CVS but the parking lot was full. He’d have to go to walmart, “Oh fuck me now.”

He got out and entered into walmart. Santa was waiving his bell, “HO, HO, HO! MERRY CHRIS-” “Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.” He ran towards the doors across the yellow striped pavement, “DONATE TODAY!” “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The bell was ringing and ringing and Levi ran faster, hands covering his ears, Santa yelled louder, “POVERTY, ANIMALS, CHILDREN, DEVASTATION, STARVATION! GIVE TODAY!” Santa stepped in front of him and then Levi clipped him. Santa’s bell fell to the pavement.

ring

ring

ring

cling

Santa slowly bent over picking up the now cracked bell, “I’ll show you, scrooge.”

*

Levi walked through walmart, his hood up and covering his now red face. “Where the fuck is the lady shit!?” He looked for signs, but there was nothing to be seen. He looked for some sort of similar items but there was nothing. Then he ended up on Armin’s least favorite aisle, “Poor unused and trapped lubricants.” The lube aisle was nothing but clear plastic boxes and wire ropes around them, “Shit, that’s so sad. Lube could save the world.”

“Dr. Ackermann?” Mrs. Gould was there and he was relieved, “I need help.” She looked him up and down, “I’d say so.” He bit his lip, “I need the lady aisle.” She stared, “The feminine toiletries?” He sighed, “Exactly.” She smiled, “Sorry, you haven’t found it yet?” 

He shook his head, “No ma’am.” She smiled, “That’s to be expected. You need a password and a guide to find the path which you seek.” He stared, ‘Honestly, I feel like you might be right.” She nicked her head and he followed her to a dark aisle in the front corner of the store, “This place is fucking creepy.” She snorted, “It makes men uncomfortable so they put us here.”

He gasped, “Next to…”

She nodded sagely, “Next to the adult diapers.”

He was shocked, “Those monsters.”

She motioned to the selection of pads and other items, “Now you must choose but choose wisely. Not all are the same but they will try to convince you that they are. You must resist the magic that will compel you and listen to your heart to find the one that is right for you and your loved one.”

He walked towards the shelves, “But….there are so many.”

“You must make the choice, Levi. i cannot make it for you.”

He turned to look at her, unsure. Then he turned to the task and tried his best to listen to which one called to him.

Orange?

Pink?

Blue?

Green?

Yes! Green….wings? What? “What do...you need wings for? Do these...fly?”

“NO MORE TALKING! MAKE THE CHOICE!”

“WHAT’S AT STAKE?”

She inhaled dramatically, “Every piece of cloth that she will ever hold sacred.”

“Oh fuck, this is too hard.”

“This is why women are better than men.”

“Shit, yeah.”

He chose green with wings and put it under his arm, “You chose the super pack, Levi?” He looked at her, “This comes often….” She chuckled and he followed her to the normal aisles.

*

When he got to the checkout she left and he waited in line. He grabbed a few other things that the pinter-est or whatever told him to get: a four pack of “granny panties,” chocolate, a heated blanket, ibuprofen he had at home, and some sour patch straws for Erwin. He waited for the total, “That’ll be 60 dollars.” Levi paused, “What?” “That’ll be 60 dollars.” “How?” “Um well, here’s the bill.” Levi took the bill and looked at it. His face read like a horror movie, “YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT THIS SHIT IS TAXED MORE THAN OTHER SHIT? WHAT THE FUCK? YOU’RE TAXING HALF THE POPULATION! THEY NEED THIS!” He held his hands up, “Man….I dunno….I’m not no woman.”

Levi ripped his bags off the handles and walked towards the door fuming.

And then the doors opened.

And Santa was there,

Ho

Ho

HO!

Santa hit him in the head with the bell, “What the FUCK!?”

Levi hit him with his bags, Santa yelling, “PUT MONEY IN THE BANK, MIDGET!”

”NEVER! AND THAT COMING FROM THE MAN WHO LIKES TO KEEP ELVES IN HIS BASEMENT!”

Levi dropped the bags and then ran at Santa, arms around his waist and shoulder pounding into his heavy body. He body slammed him on the ground, “I have to do something, Santa, or I’d stay here and beat you big red jolly ass.” Santa spat in his face, “I’ll get you one way or another. You’ve been naughty and your black cole reckoning will come.”

*

Levi made it home torn up but in one piece. He went by the washroom and Armin already had the sheets spot cleaned and in the wash. A note, “I don’t ask questions. I just wanted to say that the new cleaner we came up with works great. I love you, Velvel.”

Levi changed the sheets, laid out blankets and turned the heated blanket on. He heard her in the bathroom and he knocked, “Mila? I have the things and I’ll slide them inside. I have chocolate, a heated blanket, and some pain killers. Is there anything else you want that will make you feel better, sweetness?”

She didn’t respond for a while, “Yes….”

“What sweetie?”

“Your shirt.”

He snorted, “Baba says stuff like that. Okay.” He took his shirt off and threw it in the bathroom.

When she came out he put her in bed and put Netflix on. She was clean, medicated, and feeling better, “Thank you, Levi.” He kissed her forehead, “I love you, Mila Pamellah.”

*

Now, she was even more of a young woman and he was getting more and more depressed about it all. Next it would be Gigi and that made him nearly pass out from the overwhelming sadness. Mila put her dress on and smoothed her hair down. “Do I look okay?” Levi and Oskar both smiled the same smile, “Yes!” Hanji held Oskar’s hand and kissed him and then as they were leaving she kissed Levi, too, “Thank you for everything that you have ever done in my life. I love you.”

Bellamy was waiting in the livingroom and when she walked in he smiled brightly, nervously fidgeting, “Mila, you look so pretty.” She smiled, blushing, “Thanks. You look really nice, too.” She took the flowers and then they left, “Bye momma! Bye Levka and Oskar.” Oskar waived, “She’s such a wonderful girl!” Levi smiled, “One of the best.”

*

Bellamy took her to the old bowling alley where they sometimes went with their family and friends. She gave him a look, “I’m in a dress.” He frowned, “Oh, I didn’t think about that. But, it’ll be okay because I can stand behind you. Would you like something to drink before we start?” He bought her a mountain dew and they got socks at the vending machines. They laughed and smiled as they headed to the lane and began to play.

MIla was reserved and studious. She took things seriously and while she could be sassy, she tended to be more like a grown adult woman than a teenager. Bellamy thought she was classy and sweet. He liked sweet. “You can’t make that shot.” He teased her and she looked offended, “Bell, I can do anything.” He bumped into her, “Naw, you can’t do that.” She gave him a fierce look like Nikko sometimes did and she went up to roll the ball down the lane. She got a strike.

“It’s on now, Bell.” He smiled and then walked forward to take his shot, “Watch this!” Jean’s cocky-self was reflected in the tone of his voice. He rolled the ball and then, “Oh no.”

It went into the gutter.

She laughed and hit the button for the bumpers, “Looks like someone is too weak.”

He rubbed his neck, “You’re right. I was clearly confused about my abilities.” She giggled and he felt his stomach turn from nerves.

*

They went to Sasha and Connie’s restaurant and sat upstairs in the “greenhouse” patio. They ate cheesy potatoes and cheesecake. Mila talked about her applications for college and he thought she was really planning ahead. He was, too. He was just more cautious about it. There were only a handful of the kids that knew how anxious he was. He knew his parents loved him but sometimes as the only non-blood child he felt pressure to be perfect.

But Mila was always trying to prove something.

That’s what made him really sad.

She laughed as he drew a little picture on the white paper table cloth, “I can’t draw like Cesare or the others but,” it was them dancing, “at least it’s something.” She added a heart around it and he blushed. “God, y’all are sickening.” Connie said leaning over them with a coy smirk, “But, we love y’all so here, go catch a movie.” He handed them tickets to the theatre and they thanked him.

They went to the movies and Bellamy took a chance and put his arm around her. She demurred and leaned closer while the shared a drink and looked at each other in the dim theatre room. He leaned down and she knew he was going to kiss her but then she turned away. She wanted it to be somewhere else and he instead gently pressed the kiss to the side of her head.

They left holding hands and walking slowly to the car. He was nervous. The date was coming to an end. He opened the door and let her into her side of the car and then they were off.

*

The music was low as they sat in the car in the driveway. Bellamy moved his hands in his lap and then looked sideways at her, “Mila?” She was doing the same, her hands clutching to the hem of the dress over her knees. He reached over and took her hand, “I had a really nice time.” She looked up at him, “I did, too.” He smiled and then they got out to walk to the door.

It was there that they faced each other. Mila moved back and forth on her heels, “I really had a nice time, Bellamy. I’ve been waiting to go on a date with you for a long time.” He smiled bashfully, rubbing his neck, “Oh God, Mila, I’ve liked you for years.” She smiled, “Yeah, me too.” He looked at her and then he brought his hands up to her face to gently coax her forward, lift her chin because he was so much taller, “You’re so pretty, Mila.” And then his kissed her.

She kept her eyes shut like in the movies and waited for sparks to turn into fireworks.

He felt her lips, they were so soft and sweet.

They parted and Hanji started flicking the porch light on and off, “It’s almost eleven thirty! Go home, Bellamy! You’re parents gave you a curfew and they’ve already called!” Oskar was trying to shush her but she was serious. Marco must be worried sick. They’d only just turned sixteen. “I SAID GO HOME!” Mila covered her face, “MOOOOOOOOM YOU’RE SO EMBARRASSING!” 

Bellamy laughed awkwardly and then hugged her telling her goodnight. She went inside of the house and Hanji was grinning, “Soooooooo.” Oskar held his expressions and questions back as Mila ran through the house and dressed more comfortably, “Momma, I have to go to bed!” Hanji hounded her, “TELL ME!” Mila refused and went to wash her face.

Later Oskar made some hot chocolate and then came to chat with Mila, “Did you have fun?” She nodded her head but he felt like she wasn’t saying something important, “Mila….what’s the truth?” She lowered her book that she was reading with Nikko. They were comparing notes on it. She was thoughtful and then, “We kissed but…” 

Oskar snorted quietly, “No sparks?” She gave him a surprised look, “How did you know?” He shrugged, “Because, you and a few of the others are very serious about love and want sparks. Some people are okay with no sparks. But, not you. It’s not a bad thing to want sparks, Mila. But, leading someone on when you want sparks and there are no sparks is.” He patted her legs, “Now, get some rest, beautiful.”

Mila sat back in bed and thought about it all calmly and clinically.

*

Bellamy, however, “What was it like?” “Did y’all kiss?” “Have you seen Mila’s curves? It’s like she’s a model in her 20s.” “What did it feel like?” “Are y’all going out again?”

Bellamy felt prideful and boastful, “Yeah, we’re totally going to go out again. We’re in love.’

Nikko was among the older boys asking questions but he’d been quiet. He just nodded and finished his tea. At least Bellamy and Mila were happy. That’s all that mattered to him anyway.


	166. Kangaroo Court

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry this took so long but these chapters are very....detailed. As in, I've been writing 4,000 words to sometimes 10,000 word chapters but this one is *drum roll* 31,310 words. Subsequent chapters will be about this length or more. We're getting closer to the end of the fic and that's partly why. The other reason why is that most of these chapters will focus on telling things in the future but in a confusing way. Some of what is happening is before what will happen in coming chapter or simultaneously while another chapters characters are experiencing things. That sounds really confusing, it is and why I wrote like this I'll never know, but imagine these following chapters like puzzle pieces fitting together at certain points but still uniquely separate in others. If there are loose ends, they'll probably be filled in in another chapter.  
> Now, the children are basically grown in these chapters and I'll link what I think they look like up here so you can get a mental image.
> 
> [Yoni](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/7f/d5/3e/7fd53e85827ba168bd5189b7d35fb1dc.jpg) and [Hannahlore](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ed/10/dd/ed10dd8f9d7ab22b793884ad5763044d.jpg)

_“He stepped down, trying not to look long at her, as if she were the sun, yet he saw her, like the sun, even without looking.” --Leo Tolstoy_

_"Liar, lawyer, mirror, show me what's the difference? Kangaroo done hung the guilty with the innocent."_

[She](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/3c/b8/49/3cb849338328c530b797cf60aad00618.jpg) walked around the apartment and sighed, “Hannes was a good man.” She touched the wall paper and looked at the photos, “Why did he leave us this? Shouldn’t his children and grandchildren have it?” She frowned, the paper peeled under her fingers and she wanted to cry. HaShem was their shepherd. He led them, cared for them, helped them be born, and then he decided when they came home. She had wanted Hannes to stay around just a little longer.

[He](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/09/9b/a1/099ba18fa66b1595112346a9c181293e.jpg) appeared. He’d been in the kitchen, “Lore, he lived almost 120 years. That’s pure insanity. He survived plagues, terror, sadness, war… he’d lived history. He was history. Even history deserves a break.” Yoni leaned against the wall and sighed, “I want you to do something with it.” She looked at him, scrupulous, “What nonsense are you talking about?”

He kept her gaze, “I want you to take these photos, these memories and make a mural or memorial, something artsy with it and I want to display it.” She walked back around the room and he watched her. Her long raven black hair, beautiful style, and that air of grace. She was a warrior, make no mistake. She was dangerous and cunning if she had to be. He’d always liked how Hannahlore had been a little woman in a girl’s body. She played silly but it was just that: play.

He walked closer, “I’ve got a plan.” She chuckled, “I bet you do.” She turned around, “I leave for Japan in a week. I’ll see what I can come up with. But, what makes you sure you’re even entitled to this apartment? Any of us might want it.” She threatened him and he thought she looked cute. But, a threat it was, “You want this apartment?” She stared, “I do.” He smiled wickedly, “Good thing I’m a betting man.”

***

Yoni was often invited to fancy things and so was Hannahlore. They were in demand, having just been featured in Maria’s 40 most beautiful and successful. Erwin and David had been delighted while Mikasa and Armin had gone to work on setting up the best of everything for their photoshoots and bios. Hannahlore was courted by many in the city but she always had one de facto date, “Yoni? Did you take off for the next three Saturdays?” 

Yoni smiled opening his planner, “I did and you took off the 11th, 13th, and the 20th? I might have something the 23rd, too.” She wrote it all down, “It’s done.” They were at the salon while she got her hair and makeup done, “Are you getting anything?” Yoni chuckled, “A manicure. Vati says that handsome hands are important.” She smiled demurely, “Your vati is such a little rich bitch.” They both burst into laughter, “He must have really been born for this because he always knows just how to spend money and how not to.”Yoni looked at Hannahlore while she texted on her phone and they curled her hair, “What are your plans this week?” She hummed, “I have four houses.” 

“Four?”

“Yes, and then a possible two more.”

“How do you do it?”

“I am my mother’s daughter.”

“But, you must be tired. Let me get you some assistants.” 

“Yoni, I’m fine. I don’t need anything.”

“Where do you work?”

“What?”

“A shop or something.”

“Yoni, no. Stop.”

“You need things.”

“I can do everything on my own!”

“But, Lore, I think you’d be more rested if-”

“YONI!”

Yoni sat back, “You look beautiful.” She blushed a little, “You always say that.” She took the straw between her lips and drank her coffee. He leaned back in the chair and gave her a lopsided smile, “And I always mean it.”

*

She ran inside to change into her dress when Mikasa knocked, “Yoni sent this over. I wish you luck, sweetheart. We love you and think you’re amazing. It’s nice the world thinks so, too.” She kissed her and left to finish cooking for Shabbat. David would be home soon and she liked always having Shabbat dinner ready. “Thanks momma.”

She opened the little box and looked at the [ring](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/30/87/75/308775878a0ae028a8cc9d406577ce70.jpg)

. The note was just a quote as always.

"She is a mortal danger to all men. She is beautiful without knowing it, and possesses charms that she's not even aware of. She is like a trap set by nature - a sweet perfumed rose in whose petals Cupid lurks in ambush! Anyone who has seen her smile has known perfection. She instills grace in every common thing and divinity in every careless gesture. Venus in her shell was never so lovely, and Diana in the forest never so graceful as my Lady when she strides through Paris!" --Edmond Rostand

She put the card where she’d put them all her entire life: in a little tin box uncle Eren got in Turkey.

Yoni wasn’t the best with words so he let others speak for him. 

Now, if only he’d get a girlfriend because surely the more romantic ones were not meant for her.

*

[Hannahlore](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ae/c8/03/aec8032694b99696f4eb55374f0cc3bc.jpg) looked breathtaking as she stood with an equally handsome [Yonatan](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/ce/9c/a4/ce9ca46c53a31b21416e9d2f690230ea.jpg). They smiled for their pictures to be taken at the first event, “I think we should have a little fun, don’t you?” She smiled, “We have to time it right or we’ll get sloppy.” They went up to the bar and he ordered them drinks. He opened his art deco cigarette case and procured two white pills. He broke them up and put them in their drinks, “To you, most beautiful Hannahlore.” She smiled, “And to you.”

*

The next event [she](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/be/00/3e/be003e79447746b31a3c2d034b17206f.jpg) stood like a goddess at a tall table while men spoke with her. [Yoni](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/38/d5/51/38d5515c8e6d81f9b0b284570f5ede87.jpg) was being honored for some political reason. He had his own following and she merely stood for pictures and smiled. Lore finished her drink and enjoyed the small buzz that was beginning. [Judah](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a9/90/d4/a990d4aabb3bf75ca1414cab13be52e8.jpg) appeared in the corner of the room and she immediately tuned in, “Judah…” 

She walked over to him, “What’s happened?” He didn’t say anything, “Want to go out?” She stared and looked around, “To your club?” He bit his lip, “Yeah.” Yoni appeared, his hands on her waist protectively, “What’s going on?” Judah sighed, “I just want to be around family.” He stared at him, “Are you….” Judah shook his head, “I’m just coming back from the date from hell, throw me a bone. I gotta oversee the shop and the club but not work it work it.” 

Yoni laughed, “Because you were probably going to be spending the night somewhere.” Judah scoffed, “Don’t rub it in. My dick just needs some attention.” Hannahlore laughed, “You get plenty of attention.” Judah looked around, “This place fucking sucks, all these rich ass mother fuckers. Come on. Get wasted, high, and fucked over at my place.” Yoni and Hannahlore exchanged quick looks, “Let me give my speech and we can claim you came because of a family issue.”

Judah rolled his eyes and took a glass of champagne off the tray that passed, “Make it a good one.”

*

Hannahlore [changed](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/12/de/81/12de81d3d9853f838262bb1d40778ef0.jpg) and Yoni leaned over the bar to grab a few bottles of beer, “Put it on my tab, Kip. Judah won’t care.” Kip was shaking from nerves, “He might! He might kill me! I WALK ON EGGSHELLS, MAN! He's threatening.” Yoni rolled his eyes, “Why would you work in a place where you felt threatened? See, you don’t make any sense. You’re just spreading lies about your employer which is punishable by law. Remember, I wrote your contract.”

He walked over to the table in the VIP section and sat back in the comfortable leather loveseat while Hannahlore’s head rolled back and to the side, “Someone is rolling.” He mumbled full of amusement and she smiled, “I am. All I want is to keep this high and to not think about why silk stains.” He laughed, “What?! Is that even a normal thought to have?!” She smiled, “For me it is.” She moved closer and he held her beer to her mouth so she could take a sip.

The lights went off and then back on, the music began. Judah had opened his own business when he graduated from the Smith Academy. It was a great risk. He needed investors and paperwork and a building, everything. Levi gave him a small amount to work with, Erwin had not been pleased, but the main investors were Maxim and Ilya. They’d put the business operations in their hands and applied for the alcohol license and such. Yoni had done all of the work on his part pro bono while in school. It was a family business in a sense but not one most would be proud of.

Judah ran a strip club ( [1](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/9b/a7/e3/9ba7e3bc8dbd5e8fcecaf3a6309eb298.jpg) [2](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/25/e1/c6/25e1c6b11d6254bf3fb6a23d8722ab49.jpg) [3](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/5d/fc/0d/5dfc0d57f4f8f62cf17a2c6826806f99.jpg) [4](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/70/1f/ff/701fff492e54e94c5250cf6a9c85dd58.jpg)), another specialty club he’d designed for reasons he kept private ( [1](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/7e/48/fe/7e48fe9460e29cbc8ae524608e0d683a.jpg) [2](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/73/ed/83/73ed83b61ab79b1df503c1f889388171.jpg) [3](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a2/12/c6/a212c6112112100800c8e097bc2033a1.jpg) [4](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/c2/0a/82/c20a824ade6532a24305805194be82f4.jpg) [5](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/df/91/fd/df91fd9caca9604c6d676eb40c3231f9.jpg) ), [sex store](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/c7/46/ff/c746ff27ddee2622f7dbdb8af20bdfdd.jpg), and did taxes. It was absolutely the most sketch combination but it made so much sense if one actually knew Judah Ackermann. He liked sex, alcohol, drugs, music, cared about strippers and their health, and accounting always chilled him out when he felt himself spinning out of control.

Yoni often came and lost himself among the shows, booze, and accounting tips.

Maxim and Ilya worked wherever they wanted but Judah mostly worked the sex shop. He liked yelling at the underage kids, kids his own age, and sometimes threatened to beat them to death with the large dildos. Yoni liked to come, check up on the place, and sometimes take a girl into the back rooms that Judah cleaned like the miniature Levi he was. The place was fucking spotless.

Now, Lore was laying on his shoulder, her hand on his thigh and he couldn’t even concentrate on the girl on the stage. This was such a strange place to be with her. She was so refined and classy and this place was just normal and actually really sensual. She muffled a laugh, “Remember when you used to dress up in women’s clothes?” He wanted to die, “Stop!” She started to laugh more, “It was so cute.” He covered his face, starting to feel heavy, “I just wanted to be pretty like vati.” She leaned up to look him in the face, “You are very pretty.”

*

It must be something in the water at Judah’s club but he finally was getting lucky after six months of nothing. However, it was with Hannahlore and he worried she wasn’t fully about faculties. He pushed her up on the ledge of the [countertop](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ca/00/3c/ca003cdd149841077c1622c24cf85bbc.jpg), her legs wrapped around him as her hands ran through his hair and messed it up. She sucked his tongue, angled her hips to rub against his crotch. She moaned into his mouth, her lips were soft and swollen.

He was lost in her smell, in her body heat, in her beauty and then she pushed away and moved off the counter. She made it into the stall and vomited. He stood at the counter, hands on it’s cool concrete surface, and looked at himself. He slapped the ass of one of the sinks and then everything went black.

*

She woke up the next morning with him in a private [room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/61/79/da/6179da6f546e5d2e3e61e6b61d8493cb.jpg) Judah often kept locked and for his own use when he was too tired to go home. It was pink and strangely out of character. It was very Aviva and he'd burn it to the ground if anyone said that. Her head pounded and she looked at a sleeping Yoni wondering if anything ever happened. She thought something had.

She reached over to smooth his hair out of his face, “Yoni?” He started to wake up, “Hm?” She looked at her discarded clothes in the floor, “Yoni, did we have sex?” He wasn’t thinking clearly yet so he blurted out, “No!” He wasn’t too happy about it but she wasn’t thinking straight and she got sick. She got so sick he’d had to take care of her, “I’m...sorry?” He snorted, “I’m sorry. I’m just tired and it came out like that.”

He rolled over, “Shower? Does it exist?” She moved but kept herself covered, “I think, yeah.” She laid back down and heard him get into it. The door opened and it was [Judah](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/f7/0a/57/f70a577720eb58d183fe0294df92d456.jpg). “I gotta make a deposit in person in Montgomery. Let me take y’all there to get breakfast, brunch, or whatever the fuck y’all want to call it. He looked down at her, “You’ve always had a really nice clavicle and some perky tits.” He started to chuckle and she threw a pillow at him, “That’s not proper. You can’t see them.” 

He sat down on the edge of the bed, “Did you two?” She shook her head and he sighed, “Shit. I was hoping.” She furrowed her brow, “What?” He looked at her seriously, “Lore, come on. Don’t fuck with me.” She sat up and he looked at her more, “Good thing you’re my blood.” He leaned forward as he said the words and she stuck her tongue out at him, “Can I have my dress or shirt or whatever I fucking wore?” He walked over to it and then made a typical Levi disgusted and aghast face, “No, there is vomit all over this. You filthy animal!” 

He went to his wardrobe and grabbed a black trash bag and put it in it, “I’ll drop it at the cleaners.” Then he went to another drawer, “I’m sure some of Gigi’s clothes are in here.” He dug around and threw something on the bed, “Would you ever fuck me?” She started to laugh, “No, it isn’t proper.” He smirked, “Just thought I’d ask. But, then again, Yoni would slaughter me if I touched you.” She was still in the bed and turned her head to the side, “Why?” Judah groaned, “Oh, God. No wonder…..”

When Yoni emerged he was in a towel, ‘Um...can you help a brother out?” Judah nodded and found him clothes while she went to shower.

*

”Why am I clothed but still half naked?” [Hannalore](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/bc/9d/89/bc9d89391c3a20e5a38ae122cf982d16.jpg) sat in the back of Judah’s car and started to shake from cold, “Because it’s clothes that were left at a strip club by my sister who only intended to sleep in a warm bed with me and look fly as hell.” [Yoni](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a9/91/46/a991467266c2778943d5d37e6ee453e1.jpg) was much better off, “These can’t be your clothes. You’re much smaller than me.” Judah looked at him slightly offended, “Their Zev’s and I’d hope you’d be more thankful.”

Judah thought about it, “Lore, Gigi might have a jacket in the back if you look.” She turned around, “Yes! It’s a [True Grit!](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/5d/e5/ad/5de5adb6e29df8ef6289f76b3b5b6e56.jpg)” Yoni groaned, “Nooooo I wish I had a True Grit jacket!” Judah smirked, “I got her that when she came to visit last. I guess she forgot it. I’ll have to buy her another one and ship it.” Lore pouted, “Best brother ever. Keita sends me updates on terror attacks, suggestions for weather, and he sends me coupons for self defense classes.” Yoni smiled, “Well, he is a worry wart.” She gave him a look, “And what you do is better?” He stopped smiling and Judah pulled into the parking lot, “Okay, let me run in here and then we’ll eat.”

There was silence in the car and then Hannahlore started to look at Yoni’s neck and the shape of his jaw. He was really handsome and going to be very accomplished. She started to remember his hands on her waist, cupping her breasts. She remembered how he tasted, how rough but tender he was as he held her on the counter. There was the fact that his cock had bulged and he’d been delightly big in all the right ways. Yoni was fierce and as she let her mind wander to all the things he might have done to her last night she felt herself grow hot and wet between her legs.

“Yoni?” She breathed out and Yoni’s body was immediately on edge from the sound of it. He was tuned in. He didn’t know why it was happening but he wanted it to continue, “Lore?”

Judah got back into the car, “Sometimes I wonder if we’re going to die in another Holocaust. Ha…..I make the joke because fuck, there isn’t much else I can do. I had to go to three different windows and show my ID.” Yoni blinked and tried to calm down. Lore was blushing and pulled the jacket tighter, “What?” Judah pulled out of the parking lot, “I was depositing some of the money into Zev’s account and you know...there was a problem because it was going to Israel.”

They made small talk and then ended up at the restaurant. When they walked up they stopped, “No Blacks, No Mixed, No Jews, No Muslims.” They stared and then Judah spoke, “It’s fucking Poland 1938.” He pulled the sign off and tossed it in the bushes. Yoni grabbed his shoulder, “No, let’s go. Don’t do this and go to jail again.” Judah was turning red, “We didn’t grow up like this. We weren’t taught shit like this.”

Hannahlore was cool, calm, collected and Yoni pulled Judah against his chest. “We were taught that if you’re silent in times of injustice you’re just as guilty.” Judah’s voice broke and Yoni inhaled, “We were also told that resistance was a breath, a piece of bread, and living another day. Don’t have your freedom taken away over this. At least, what’s left of it.”

They went to another place for food and ate in silence.

Yoni started to think of his plans he had for the future.

***

”It was a pleasure doing business with you.” Yoni had moved quickly. His bank was sending him all sorts of mail and calls about his accounts. He was a smart investor and that's what worried them. A local bank that made its money off of a few smart Smith boys would obviously be concerned at the withdrawal of assets and then the transfers of others with no clear reasons why. Gisela and the other Ackermanns had been a harder sell. 

”Why would I not hold out for the best deal?” Gisela’s face was blank like Levi’s often was. Judah held her in his lap. His chin rested on her shoulder. He was of the same opinion. “We want everything in this paper.”

Yoni opened the paper, “You know, I'd rather do this one at a time.” Judah snorted, “We are one person.” Judah nuzzled her and closed his eyes. She was hard, ready to fight. “We only want what's fair.”

Yoni wanted to take them down because this could set him up for trouble with his other deals. He couldn't just give in or the others would ask for unreasonable things, “Gisela, you have to understand that,” She cut him off, “I have to do nothing. You forget who has the power here. We have what you want and if we break away we can bring the others. Keita can represent us. I can make sure of it.” She could get Keita to really make things messy for him. 

Yoni frowned, “You’re not normally so intense, Gigi.” She smiled, “You don't normally talk money or power. You see, I'm not taking care of just me, I'm taking care of a projected future. I want Judah to keep most of the liquidated assets as potential collateral. I need cash for various reasons. But, Yoni, why are _you_ doing this?”

Yoni thought that was an odd question coming from her, “I'm merely in love with the memories.” She smiled, wickedly amused, “I don't like liars, Yoni.” Judah moved, pulling her closer, “Why are we not the last? You've strategically gone down the lines of who would be the most difficult. I'm not trying to brag, but have you seen my head? It's the definition of stubborn and troublesome.” 

They all laughed and Judah went on, “I'm not going to walk around it. I loved the old man and I like the idea of not being in Maria to disgrace myself even more in front of aba and baba. Gisela likes to be alone, too. She and I could have lived in the apartment and when she decided to come back she'd be close to the Opera house and still only two hours from another. You see, we're the two who can and would fight you. But, we're not last and we want to know why.”

Yoni fiddled with the pen that Erwin gave him when he graduated high school. It was a nice art deco pen that he'd loved. He looked up at the twins, “Because the last person will be easy and the minute I say you've sold out it'll be a sure deal.” He said it with conviction. He looked them in the eye. No one would have questioned his honesty or not believed it to be a rational decision. 

He agreed to their terms and then made them swear they couldn't reveal them to anyone. He had contracts pulled up and it was a long ordeal. Judah kept pressing his face into her hair and neck, “I missed you.” His voice calm and sincere. Yoni knew it was true. They all had but Judah was a wreck when she was gone. He kissed her and then Gisela finished signing the documents with his signatures dotted across the pages. 

They called a car and Yoni walked them out. But, Judah turned, “Where are you going to work, Yonatan?” Yoni grinned just like Erwin, “Why, across the street at the firm.” Judah’s face was the spitting image of a young Levi at the pit of fire, a smirk played at the corner of his face, “Looks like you're going to have to sell your soul after all. No one gets a job there without making a faustian deal.” Yoni shrugged, “On the contrary, I am being perused by them!” Judah heard the threat.

That was the story he was to offer up whenever asked about his job or life. Yoni often planted cover stories among his siblings and cousins. They all knew one when they heard one and they all embraced that he was going to be their Erwin. They might as well enjoy the gold cage he was going to build them. 

Judah got in the car with Gisela and she took his hand. He gave the address and they pulled away from the curb, “Why did we sign, really?” Judah asked quietly. She smiled, “I want to see the look on his face when it all comes crashing down.” Judah snorted, “So it ends badly? She shook her head, “No, just….different.” She grinned and he didn't regret for a second signing those papers. 

***

Lore was dripping in sweat from her dance class, “No, I'm not selling.” He stared her down, “Please be reasonable.” She cocked her head to the side, “Funny, not one person in my life has ever called me unreasonable.” She smiled and his body quivered, “Yoni, just because the others did doesn't mean I will.”

Yoni frowned, “Gisela and Judah agreed.” She sat on the floor and stretched, “Not an indication I should. In fact, I thank you. You've narrowed it down to you and I. Less work for me.” He admired her long legs, toned arms, and beautiful hair, “I have a date tonight, so if we're done...” She gave him an expectant look and he wanted to scream, “With whom?” She laughed, “Just a nice boy from the temple.”

He stood to the side. All he wanted was just inches away but so was the main deterrent. 

“He isn't going to be good enough. You go for the same type everytime.” She laughed, “One day, one will be. I just have to keep wading through the shitty ones to find him. It's life. The real test is finding one that aba and momma like. Then I'll know I have a keeper.” Yoni looked bored, “You're so young.” She laughed, “Twenty-one isn't too bad, Yoni. Maybe you should try it and put yourself out there?”

He shrugged, “Been there, done that. I know exactly what I'm looking for now. I don't want to waste my time.” She stood up, “As long as they're Jewish, right?” He smiled and reached over to pull her hair and stick his finger in her ear. She slapped his hands away smiling slightly but clearly trying not to so as to not encourage him. He smiled, “Right.” *** 

”Blessed little brother, I asked you to do me a favor.” Tuvia sighed, “I don't like this game. I don't feel right about trapping someone.” Yoni clutched the phone, “It's one little planted booby trap.” Tuvia rolled his eyes but he couldn't see, “It’s the smallest one I've ever seen. How would you even ensure that someone would find it?” Yoni was cut throat, “Because, this is a web of layers that is slowly compressing and folding in on itself and guiding the prey into the center of the web for me. You'll be one of the pit stops along the way so don't worry. You don't have to lie. You just have to….”

“Lie and wave around a trap.” 

“ _Facilitate_ is the word you're looking for, brother.” 

Tuvia hated this, “I just want to be left alone.” Yoni’s heart hurt, “Well, I just want to be closer to my brother.” Tuvia spat, “Yoni, I didn't die! Come to fucking me if you're so depressed.” Yoni knew he needed to guilt him, “You still consult for Dedka but do you ask how he is after Hannes?”

The line was quiet but Yoni could feel how hurt and seething Tuvia was at that, “I talk to Dedka everyday and have since I was born! FUCK OFF, YONATAN!” He hung up and Yoni threw his phone on the floor. Armin appeared, “Stop pushing Tuvia or I'll spank you.” 

Armin was serious and in his hands was a giant box of chemicals, “It's for my anniversary with aba.” Yoni started to smirk and Armin blushed a little, tilting his head down smiling softly, fondly, “He's a simple man and I love him.”

Yoni smiled more and then Armin put the box down coming closer, “Vati?” Armin grabbed his ear, “When are you going to get married?! YOU'RE SO OLD! YOU'VE GOT TO GET LOOKING! You know I called Rabbi Haas and she has a few nieces who are smart and your daddy ran all the normal background and financial checks so here,” he pulled a list from his pocket, “call these girls and set up dates with them!”

Yoni screeched, “VATI! I DON'T WANT TO JUST CALL SOMEONE I DON'T-” Armin clutched his heart, “You want to KILL me! My heart is hurting so badly. I want grandchildren! WHY WOULD YOU HURT YOUR VATI AND DADDY LIKE THIS!? Get a clue, find a nice Jewish girl, get married, get a good job, have children, and LOVE ME.” Armin was crying and the guilt was almost 6 out of 10. He could do better. 

They heard Levi and Armin threw a blanket over the box, crying more to distract from it, “Oy, what's going on?” He looked at a teary eyed Armin and then walked over to Yoni giving him a sharp hit to the back of the head, “Ow!” Levi glared, “Whatever you did, don't do it again. Why would you hurt your vati?! He loves you! WE LOVE YOU! WE'RE ALL OBSESSED WITH YOU!” Levi took Armin’s hand and lead him out. Armin turned to stick his tongue out at him. *** 

Yoni walked inside of the mansion and was greeted by men and women in uniforms, small trinket necklaces, and trays of lemonade. He wore a nicely tailored [tux](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/47/c5/3f/47c53f0079b010f0ce9cf81bfcb8119a.jpg). There was a murmur and then the double doors opened and he was shown to the table full of food. He knew he was taking a risk but it was necessary. 

Erwin wouldn’t have brought him so he had to make the appointment himself. After months of researching him, trailing him, and even having an affair with Zackly’s ex wife he’d succeeded. He had wanted to get into the law school and did. It was the best in the south and he now wanted a spot at the firm in Montgomery that Erwin had always spoke so highly of. Sure, he knew Erwin loved him but he wanted to impress his daddy. He wanted to one day be like him, surpass him even.

Zackly walked in, dashing and sinister. He sat down at the head of the table and leered, “Yonatan Smith. Look at you. All grown up. How old are you now?” Yoni smiled, friendly and warm, “I’m twenty-one, sir.” Zackly smoothed his hands across the table cloth, “Please, come sit closer. I can’t believe that they put you there.” Yoni stood, _they did it in case I was ugly._

They made small talk about his life, his schooling, and what his plans were. He knew they were moving into the final phase, _think God I’m a great small talk maker. Aba would be dead by now._ “I’m looking to get a spot at Rosenberg Law.” Zackly raised his eyebrows, “And you came here because your father sent you?” Yoni took a sip of his water, “I came because I knew my father would not send me.”

Zackly sipped his wine and then reached over to trace gently the curves of Yoni’s face, “You know, I like persistence.”

*

In the basement dungeon his head rolled to the side. He’d been drugged but he’d expected it. He’d thought about all the types of drugs that he could have used and had narrowed it down to find a suitable antidote. He’d been inspired by the Roman Emperor who drank a bit of poison each day in order to survive a poisoning. Unfortunately, after he was taken by enemy soldiers he tried to commit suicide by drinking poison and it didn’t work.

Zackly was to the side of him, his hand trailing up and down the inside of his thigh. The lights in the room were red and maroon. He noted he was only in his underwear, “Waking up so soon?” Yoni gave him a sensual look and Zackly realized that Yoni was every bit his father’s son. “I was the one trapped, wasn’t I?” Yoni smiled, opened his mouth and licked his lips, “Yes, you were.”

Yoni moved off the table quickly, the years of Krav Maga and David's instruction made him like a God, and Zackly stood his ground ready to fight. Yoni tackled him, punches rained down on both but in the end the struggle ended with Yoni on top of Zackly and a cord around his throat.

Yoni pulled, constricting his airway, “I’ll let you touch me, old man. I don’t mind. But, you’re going to make my dreams come true and get me into that law firm.” Zackly squirmed but he was hard. Yoni stared at him, calculated, “If I give you a little attention, you think you could do that?” Zackly sputtered and gasped, his face turned redder and redder. Yoni leaned back, letting some air in while he rolled his hips applying teasing pressure to Zackly’s member.

“I am the commander of this dungeon, Zackly. Never forget.”

*****

Hannahlore put her bags in the car and Keita frowned, “Don’t go.” He pouted and she laughed, “You have no problem leaving me all the time!” He frowned, “Because I know where you are and you’re safe. Nikko and Zev keep an eye on you.” She gave him a look like “oh yeah, whatever” before turning around, “I’m going to do a presentation and participate in a workshop for a month. You’ll survive.”

Keita came up and hugged her, “You know I love you.” His arms wrapped around her and he mumbled the words into her shoulder, “You’re the best sister in the world.” She almost wanted to cry because that was so sweet. They’d never had an issue as siblings but Mikasa commented often that she felt bad for Keita because he was like her. Keita was Hannahlore’s dad where Mikasa had been uncle Eren’s mom.

Yoni was running down the sidewalk. He looked disheveled. Keita thought he looked like shit, “Yoni, you look like you were rode hard and put up wet.” David appeared and gave a disapproving tch at Keita’s analogy. Mikasa rolled her eyes, “Lore, do you have everything? Your glasses, your phone and charger, and your birth control?” Keita nearly choked to death, “MOM!” Mikasa looked at him, “Keita, don’t concern yourself with women’s bodies. You’re the lesser sex. So uncomplicated and weak.” She grinned and he blushed from the burn his strong feminist mother gave him when he said things that were ridiculous.

Yoni bent over, huffing and puffing, “That was a long run but…” he dug in his pocket, “I wanted to give you your birthday gift before you left.” He handed her a card, “Show your hotel concierge. It’s waiting for you in Japan.” He gave a dashing smile and David chuckled, “Just like Erwin. Why was that so important?” Yoni smiled, “Lore is important. Everyone else will have their birthday here for us to give gifts. I think it’s only appropriate.”

David and Mikasa shrugged while smiling to each other. They kissed Keita and then got in the car. They were taking her to the airport while Keita went to his training session at the gym. Keita was glad. He’d cry if he had to watch her leave-leave. He did turn to Yoni, “Eat shit, Smith.” Yoni gave him a look of innocence, “I have no idea what you’re talking about. How rude, Lavie.” 

Keita glared, “I know you’re flirting with my sister. Back off.” Yoni shrugged, “Sounds like it’s working or you’d not feel the need to threaten me. Now, come on, this is silly. We’re friends!” Keita nodded, “Maybe so, but this is an important matter about respect and honor. You show up from a one night stand and think you’re going to get my blessing?” Keita was dead serious.

Yoni gave him a charismatic smile and slapped his hand on his shoulder, “I didn’t come from some woman’s house! I just got drunk and crashed at a friends after a dinner party. I would never!” He laughed and just threw his hands in the air, “It’s not like I did anything seedy.” His mind flashed back to a writhing, squirming, sadistic night at Zackly’s. He really was a good liar, “Now, let’s get breakfast. I’m thinking waffle house. You’ve got training with daddy today. He’ll understand.” He called Erwin to tell him they were getting waffle house.

“Waffle House?”

“Yeah, the one nearest the house.”

Erwin paused for a long time, “Okay, I’m gunna meet you there. Your Vati is angry at me right now and getting out of sight might help him forget he’s mad at me.” 

He was whispering into the phone inside his bathroom while Armin nagged him while walking all through their room tossing blankets and clothes around, “And then I said WHY would anyone NEED one thousand acres in Africa?! AND THEN THE RECEIPT WAS FROM MY ACCOUNT! I APPARENTLY NEEDED THAT! ME! WHY?!

”I’ll see you in five minutes.” Erwin took the towels and made a rope to climb out of the bathroom. He didn't touch the monogram ones. Nothing would have saved him if he'd have touched then. He would have been slaughtered.

***

She arrived at the hotel and went to the concierge. “I have a pick up. Here is the card.” She smiled politely, “Well bring it right up.” She went to her room and took off her jacket looking around. When they opened the door she was pleasantly surprised.

The first box had an origami [swan](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e7/47/91/e74791adca84d869c798a8a64fa75504.jpg) necklace inside. She loved origami and made it often with Lilly and Bianca when they were growing up. She opened the dress box and pulled out the red crushed velvet wrap [dress](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/73/23/99/732399a29a436e52d3fd40ce5d230526.jpg). She smirked because this was so Yoni. He always got her exactly what she liked and exactly what looked best on her. Keita could do the same but he would rather cover her up than show her off. She opened the card.

_“Put your soul in the palm of my hand for me to look at, like a crystal jewel. I'll sketch it in words...” ― Yasunari Kawabata”_

She lowered it and her heart skipped a beat before she remembered who she was dealing with...

He couldn’t have meant that.

This was simply her favorite author and the quote he probably got from Keita.

Yoni was so full of shit he was almost sincere.

“Oh Yonatan….how you amuse me.”

***

“Miss Lavie?” Hannahlore was walking back to her dorm she was staying in for the workshops. She was quickly gaining popularity in the interior design world. She’d already done a number of popular homes that had been featured in vogue, including her own uncle Erwin’s mayoral office. Erwin was voted the most popular mayor in the US more times than she could count. He never fell out of the top five since he’d first been elected. 

Maria was thriving, her business was thriving with all the people wanting to redo their homes to keep up with the times and still maintain their old charm. She was in demand and she was touched that the community kept her self sufficient. Gio and Delaine had remodeled a few times, too. When she was young, they let her pick things and were some of her biggest supporters..

They lived in a close, economically prosperous, safe town where everyone knew everyone despite it being a college town with almost 40,000 students. Crime was almost non-existent. What Hannahlore and the others didn’t know is that Erwin had taken over and instilled in their community what his father could have only dreamed of doing.

“Yes, Mr. Moto?” The young man stopped suddenly, lowering his head shyly and respectfully. He was handsome and was in her workshop. Her presentation had been when she first noticed him. He reminded her of her father, handsome face, larger build, and that quiet affection. She’d know he was smitten with her. She’d done her research on him from the beginning. It was common for her to check everything out and sort things into neat categories. 

He came from an engineering background and worked in renewable energy but hospitals was his main focus, “Miss Lavie, you’re Jewish, right?” She smiled softly, “I am.” He looked up nervously, “Well, then I’m supposed to ask you over for shabbat or at least a meal.” She laughed shortly, “Do you have Shabbat by yourself?” He shook his head, “No, I live with my parents to help my mother. She survived the plague but sometimes she gets very tired and I just want to make her comfortable.” 

Hannahlore looked at him properly and thought about how that was a very nice trait in a person. She remembered Berkovitch telling her about how Isaac was supposed to look for a woman who watered the camels first because that kindness and that helpfulness was a better trait in a mate than just looks. “I’d love to join you.”

***

Fumiko Moto’s family was nice and small. He was an only child and his mother could cook like pro. She did have a strange gait from the sickness ruining some of her nerves and dulling her motor skills but Lore understood this and didn’t find it distracting.

His father liked investing and found his work refreshing and not challenging. He had come from a family business in medicine and that explained why Fumiko specialized in designing hospitals. Unfortunately, their family had nearly been wiped out by the plague. He was a really nice guy and his son, well, was pretty hot now that she was sitting across from him and getting a good look at him. “So, what’s it like being Jewish in Japan?” 

Haru lit up, “Wonderful!” Yoshi nodded in agreeance, “Sometimes it can be hard. We’re very, very small. But, with the world being what it is we can connect with other Jews like never before. Also, Japan doesn’t tolerate anti-semitism like other countries.” Haru looked at Hannahlore more, “What do your parents do?”

She looked up, “My mother is a clothing designer and my father works for the Israeli embassy in Atlanta. He works from home mostly and my mother travels but she, too, bases everything out of our hometown Maria.” Haru paused in concentration, “What is your mother’s name?” Hannahlore finished her water, “My mother’s name is Mikasa Ackermann-Jaeger Lavie. It’s long, I know. There’s a reason for it apparently, though I don’t really know why. But, her lines are under a lot of names.” She looked like she might faint, “I know her designs well! I bought a bag, the one she makes with the orthodox partner, for a friend and I must admit I want one for myself.” 

Fumiko looked at his father, “Sounds like dad needs to get on that.” They all laughed and she had a good time. They told her how impressive she was and Fumiko asked if she knew about an architect, “Tuvia Smith? I love his work but he’s a hard guy to get a hold of.” She smiled coyly, “I know the name.”

***

Fumiko walked her back to her dorm after parking his car. They’d been dating on and off for about two weeks. She led him to her door and then leaned against it, “I had a very good time at the cafe.” She was soft, demure, coy, all of it and it drove him wild, “May I see you again?” She reached out and touched his tie, “You can see me now, right inside of this room.” She nodded at the door and he blushed, “I’d like that.”

***

Mr. Moto was a shy but satisfactory lover. While she was participating in the workshop she often found him waiting for her after class, head held shyly downwards and flowers in his hands. She let him into her room and he took his suit jacket off, hanging it like always. She stood against the bed while his hands took her clothes off easily and deftly, his nose gently grazed up and down her throat. She pressed against him, her lips on his, his hands politely tracing her body. Mr. Moto was refreshing.

Now she was laying in her bed, he’d left for class and she opened her phone and dialed a familiar number. She waited for it to be picked up.

***

Tuvia Smith lived in a cabin he built himself in Poland. On the outside it looked like a run down piece of shit but inside it was a dream of modern and old ( [ Cabin](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/17/f3/84/17f38490d7e9af5b34819d1604cef418.jpg) ). He was proud of it and Hannahlore was, too. She helped design and decorate it. He was currently making tea, thinking about his blueprints, and putting the finishing touches on his dissertation. When the phone lit up and it was Lore on the screen he quickly answered it, “Lore, please tell me you’re visiting.”

She smiled, rolling around in her bed a little bit, “Not yet, but it’s in the works. Please tell me you still owe me a favor?” He smirked and sat down on his couch, “Don’t you know if I do or not?” She hummed, “You do.” He snorted, “What do you want, Lore?” 

She sighed, “Fukimo Moto is an engineer. He’s really talented and his family is nice.” He groaned, “I. Hate. People.” She groaned louder, “I knoooow but he’s nice and cute and Jewish.” He raised his eyebrow, “Are you sleeping with him?” 

“Maybe.”

“Oh, so now I’m going to do your lover a favor?”

“I like him. Might keep him.”

“Nope, you won’t.”

“Why?”

“He isn’t strong enough for you. You’d get bored. You look for men like uncle David but you like them when they have some fight in them. Your aba gets feisty when he drinks. That’s why your mother likes him. If they don’t have any feistiness to them you’d just get bored.”

She pouted and he laughed, “I can feel you pouting.” She snorted, “Maybe I’m just in love with you.” He scoffed, “We’re too close. Maybe I used to like to look at you in the pool when we were growing up buuuuuut…” She was laughing so much she was crying. 

Hannahlore wiped her face, “You’re like my brother.”

“Speaking of brothers, mine is killing me.” She pulled the covers down and looked at herself, “You should do that thing, you know, that crazy shit people do. It’s called talking. You should talk to your brother.” Tuvia looked around the room, “Lore, he took Hannes’ apartment in a hostile take over that rivals Stalin.” She giggled, “Oh, well, not really. I never agreed. It’s down to he and I.” 

Tuvia paused and thought about what that meant, “So, he buys out Gisela and Judah, trades some stocks with Nikko and Zev, I know for sure he sold something to Keita that he liquidated or-” She cut him off, “It was just straight cash. He gave cash to Aviva, too. But, she also made him give her access to some other stuff. He traded land to Ezra and you...what did you take?”

He rolled his eyes, “That’s a secret.” She pouted and he could feel it, “I don’t like that.” He snorted, “Do me a favor and take that apartment from him?”

“Very cruel.”

“You owe me a favor, too. I’ll contact Mr. Moto and talk to him. Just email me his information.”

“What do you want in return?”

Tuvia chuckled darkly, “I want a nude or teasing nude.” She furrowed her brow, “Why?” He shrugged but she couldn’t see, “I won’t do anything with it that would hurt your honor, Lore.” She bit her lip, “If you just want a nude just ask.” He smiled, “May I have a nude, please?” She laughed shortly, “Sure, but this is weird since we just said we’re like siblings.” He chuckled, “We’re kissing cousins.”

She rolled her eyes, “You mean like my brother in regards to Gigi?” Tuvia clicked his tongue behind his teeth, “Keita would die for a little attention from her.” Hannahlore changed the subject, “I think he’s sleeping with Aviva but I need proof.” Tuvia leaned back in his chair, “Call Lilly.” She blinked, “You know what, fuck yes. If I ask Gigi she’ll cover for her. Mila would too.”

“Okay, send the nude, stay safe, and I love you.”

“Ohhhhh I’m so special. You don’t tell anyone you love them.”

“I tell you because you’re reserved with your love as well.”

“You can thank my genetics. Mom and Aba are all about proper respect and restraint with emotions. Hahaha.”

They hung up and she took a steamy picture and sent it off. She laid in the bed and looked at the sunlight coming into her room, “Sunlight….I should make use of you more.” She mumbled into the sheets and then fell asleep.

***

_“To love or have loved, that is enough. Ask nothing further. There is no other pearl to be found in the dark folds of life.” --Victor Hugo_

_He was over her, panting, “Lore, my God…” She was writhing, her hair in her face, lips parted, back arched, “Please...please…” He heard her moaning as his hips snapped forward and he moved quicker and quicker, his heart beating loudly. It was so loud and rhythmic almost like-_

The alarm on his phone was quickly shut off and he lay there for a minute or two trying to catch his breath and will his morning wood away.

Yoni had a horrible hangover and was now trying to call his brother to check up on him. He hated how hard Tuvia made him work for it. Everyone else willingly let him into their business. Judah was his competition, though. Judah liked to know everything only about his most favorite or important people so they didn’t clash that much until they did and it was bad. Now he had given up and put his phone on the pillow and was trying to handle the fact that his vati was going to kill his daddy when he found out he gave him access to some of his inheritance.

Of course, it was because of Vati’s planning and saving they had any money, probably. Erwin did tend to just buy them things, especially Aviva if she blinked and pouted enough. _I love her, that little evil princess._ His phone beeped and he grabbed it.

Tuvia: Leave me alone.

Yoni: Little brother, I just want to know how you’re doing out there in those gross woods.

Tuvia: Having a lot of fun, actually.

Yoni: Really? What kind? I want all the details.

_Picture Message._

Yoni wanted to destroy the world.

Yoni: How did you get this!? This is so scandalous.

Tuvia: I get what I want. Unlike you. Come on, don’t lie. You’re only annoying me and everyone else because she’s in Japan and not around for you to mess with. Also, she’d not tolerate that shit.

Yoni scoffed at his phone, “Delete the nude. It dishonors her.” Tuvia replied with a few more, “She’s got talent, Yoni.” Yoni lost his cool, “Fuck off, Tuvia. I’ll make you regret this.” Oh and how he would. Yoni went into his contacts, “Hey, how are you?” He was grinning ear from ear, “I’d like to fly you to Poland, actually.” *** 

Yoni came into Erwin’s office, “Daddy, I want to talk to you about running against you one day for mayor.” Erwin just started to laugh, “Damn, son. I’m not in the grave yet.” Yoni sat down in the chair across from him, “I know but I think the Smith name should live on in the department.” Erwin sat back in his chair and crossed his arms, “What are you planning, Yonatan?” Yoni shrugged, “I just think at one point my law career could shift into a political one. I’ve always wanted to do something good for the world. Legislature is a part of that.” 

Erwin scoffed, “Don’t try to sell me. I’ve been playing the game longer than you have.” He rocked in his chair, “But, son, I’m not ready to leave.” Yoni laughed shortly, “Of course you’re not. It’s not really something I expected to happen soon. Just, when the time comes I want your support.” Erwin was highly amused, “I love that you’re threatening your father.” Yoni shrugged, “Threatening? Who’s threatening? I’m not threatening. I’m just strongly suggesting that you do the right thing because I’d hate for you to suffer consequences.” Erwin barked a laugh, “Get out, get out!” He waved him away and Yoni complied, “Think about it, daddy.” 

***

Hannahlore was in Italy on the shore in her bikini. She had stopped over not only to see her childhood friend, but to talk business and pitch in on a few of her mother’s shops. Bianca came up in her kaftan, large hat, and oversized sunglasses. She laid down next to her, “I’m going on a trip, soon.” 

Hannahlore hummed, “That must be nice. Work or?”

“A mission, really.”

“Oh, a mission?! I want to hear all about it.”

“I want to hear about Hannes’ apartment.”

She sat up, “Nothing really to hear about other than, well, I’m going to get it.” 

Bianca smiled ear to ear, “How?” Hannahlore shrugged, “He likes to make bets. I’ll just have to make a bet he can’t refuse and can’t win.” Bianca drank her coca cola, “What bet would that be?” She looked out at the sea, “Okay, maybe not a bet. Maybe just blackmail.” Bianca snorted, “He’d never see it coming.”

***

In Israel she was up for a job designing government buildings. However, “I think that these patterns are too harsh.” Ms. Weiss was critical and downright hateful as she walked among the staged apartment that was to represent her work. Mr. Schwarz was less so, “I think that her use of metal is transcendent.” She hated them but they were part of the unaffiliated committee. She watched as she walked through picking apart pieces of her design. Keita walked through the door and she’d never been happier.

Keita looked over at a group of government officials and then winked at her. He blended in among them and started charming them. He drank sweet wine and laughed. She felt better as she stood in the corners of the room and tried to make herself likeable. Keita would always have her back no matter what.

*

Keita held her hand as they waited for the results of the competition to be announced. They walked through other exhibits and kept their thoughts quietly to themselves. They knew what it felt like to hear other’s remarks. She stopped them at one greatly refurbished chest of drawers, “I am so glad you flew in early for this.” He kissed her forehead, “It’s nothing. You’re my precious sister.” She took his face in her hand, holding his chin and squeezing his cheeks, “I know you came so you could catch Gisela’s performance. Nikko and the others are coming into town for it, too. Aviva called and told me they were going to be staying at the hotel down the street from us.”

Keita blushed and tried to break out of her hold but she was a tiny Mikasa and it was impossible, “Yoni is coming but not Tuvia.” She raised an eyebrow, “And Zev?” Keita rolled his eyes, “Working but he might make it, you know?” She scoffed, “He’ll make it work if he knows what’s good for him. Judah is….is Judah even allowed to fly?” Keita and Hannahlore both started to chuckle.

She hugged him and he answered, “To answer your question, only with supervision and on the private plane.” A woman appeared, “We’re announcing the results.” They looked at each other and were off.

The prime minister raised his glass, “Ah, Keita, Hannahlore, now that everyone is here…”

*

Yoni kissed the side of Gisela’s head as she slowly fell down on the bar top drunk, “Yoni, I CAN’T!” She was laughing so much there were tears spilling over and down he cheeks. He threw his arm around her, “I mean, what did they expect?!” Keita and Zev were both exchanging territorial looks but Hannahlore had Judah locked in her sights, “I’ll drink you under the table.” He was sweaty, his eyes piercing, “One of us is going to die tonight, Lore. I'll be sure to cover all the mirrors for your Shiva.”

They slammed back three triple shots of Jaeger and then they all heard Zev’s voice cut through, “So I was in a restaurant the other day and needed to pass gas.” Ezra was spilling his beer, “And!?” Zev threw his arm around Gisela pushing Yoni off, “And the music was super loud so I decided to do it.” Ezra grinned more, “AND?” Zev’s smile was so shit eating, “And then I realized that I was listening to my IPOD and got the fuck outta there.” 

Ezra slapped the table, “HaShem!” Aviva grabbed Gisela by the waist, her lips on her neck leaving kisses all over her pale skin. She mumbled, “Dance with me.” She pulled her into the crowd, kissing each other with open mouths, to where Nikko was dancing shirtless under the lights and strobes. Mila was near him, holding his shirt and laughing. A “boyfriend” holding onto her hips and kissing her neck.

None of them were into him.

He was studying medicine but his real passion was “soccer.”

Nope. They could not with him.

Alexi wasn’t even his favorite player so they all agreed that they hated him.

Now Hannahlore was left at the table with Yoni and Ezra. Ezra was on his phone and then he fell over, slamming into a bowl of noodles. “Well, Ezra is out. Gunna take his phone and shit so it doesn’t get stolen.” She laughed, “Why did he just?” Yoni shrugged, “He bumped and bumped and then he came down hard.” She smiled, “So, now I’ll have access to every building in Israel that means something. I can’t wait to decorate my heart out.” 

He finished his shot, “Dance with me?” She nodded, “Okay.” What could it hurt?

*

_“By my soul, I can neither eat, drink, nor sleep; nor, what's still worse, love any woman in the world but her.” --Samuel Richardson_

She slapped him hard across the face, “Yoni!” He could taste blood, “Lore, you’ve got an arm on you.” She was fuming but all he could do was smile, “It isn’t funny!” He kept laughing, “If it’s not funny then why are you slightly smirking?” She pushed him, “I can’t believe you fucking called my competition.” He grabbed her by her hips, “Lore, why?” She pushed against his chest, “You made a deal with me when we were in Gatlinburg as children; do you remember?” He frowned, “I didn’t forget.”

She looked him in the eye, “Then why did you call her?” Yoni was quiet. He held her still and then she realized, “You did it to compare prices and to try and leverage mine down.” He tried to keep a straight face but he was drunk and couldn’t contain his smug pride in how sly he could be, “Well, money doesn’t grow on trees, baby.” She slapped him again, even harder. It hurt like hell. 

She pushed him off and into the wall of the alley outside the club, “Nor do I, Yonatan. You get what you pay for. You want caviar and I’m right in front of you but want to pay for walmart tuna.” He gave her such a look and it made the moment more tense, “Lore, what I want is-” She held her hand up, “No. KEITA!” Yoni started to panic, “SHUUUUUSH! NOOOOOOOOO” Keita appeared, “Lore?” She turned to him, “Take me home. Yoni is being such an asshole to me and I don’t want to walk with him.” Keita had been drinking and he glared, “What the fuck, Yoni?”

Aviva came around the corner, “Um, Keita?” He turned, “Shit. Um…” Hannahlore started to smirk, “Oh, did I infringe on some pre-made plans?” He blushed and grabbed her arm, “I’m taking you home!” He pulled her out onto the street and Aviva walked up to Yoni to look at his blood stained lips, “Yonatan, you’re a bloody fool.”

She gave a wicked smile like Armin when he was torturing Erwin.

Yoni started to laugh, “Good one, princess.”

She took his hand and they went to find the others and a van cab that was big enough for them all.

***

She was back at the apartment and he met her there. They’d been home from Israel for only a few days, “What can you do with it?” She whipped around, “I can do anything but you’re going to pay.” He walked forward carefully, “That won’t be a problem. Make it look amazing. Make it look just like how I’d want it to look.” She raised an eyebrow, “You mean how I want it to look. I still have half of it. I’m not going to sell out.” He stopped mere inches from her, “I think you can do a combination of us both and it’d look just fine.”

Hannahlore lowered her eyes, “But, then I’d have to remove all of your shit when I win.” He smirked, “Do I hear a bet?” She avoided his gaze to increase his interest. “How are you going to afford this? I have steady work. You have nothing and you know uncle Levi and Armin have been very clear that you don’t have access to your money except under certain circumstances.”

He shrugged, “Lore, I work at the Rosenberg firm. You’re not the only one that’s successful.” She knew that there was something more to all of this. Hannahlore and Yoni had always been close. There was something about his bullshit ways that intrigued her. She was his police, his detective. She made it her hobby to untangle the webs he wove and then present them to him on silver platters.

She didn’t always let those who were caught in the web know, though.

She actually liked some of the things he did.

”I know that look, Lore.” She shrugged, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He smiled wickedly, “We should go get dinner.” She walked away and got her bag, “Sorry, I have a date. My Japanese lover is far away but I found another one so I’ll be off.” His smile fell, “What? Who?” She turned to look one last time at the apartment, “I’ll have samples tomorrow and I think we can start remodeling in a week or two. Have a nice night, Yoni.”

She shut the door and he frowned. Aviva came walking out of the bedroom, “Why are you here?” She rolled her eyes, “To get away from fucking annoying Judah. He makes it impossible for me to even live in my own home.” He understood and sat down on one of the chairs, “She’s going to try and figure it all out.” Aviva nodded, “Yeah, she’s your vati. She doesn’t let you get away with shit.” Aviva slowly made her way down onto the floor and then rolled on her back, “When are you going to make a move?”

Yoni rubbed his hands together, “I….thought I already had.”

Aviva bit her lip, “Apparently not.”

*

Hannahlore met up with her date near Armin’s shop. They went over and then grabbed coffee. He was nice, Jewish, polite, and intelligent. However, he was all of that and nothing more. She often felt broken. Why couldn’t she settle for good and great? There was nothing wrong with him at all but she just knew she’d get bored. _Oh no, Tuvia. You’ve destroyed me with this realization._

He was great but when he asked if they could go somewhere else she said that unfortunately she couldn’t because she had to stay at the shop and wait on her uncle. Armin walked by and smiled, “I’m basically in need of a show room makeover.” He bought it with no hard feelings and they agreed to meet up another night. She sighed and laid her head on the bar top when he left and Armin took a break and sat down with her, “Well, that was a first.”

She nodded, “Yeah. Vati, is there something wrong with me?” Armin stroked her hair, “Oh sweetiepie, yeah.” He grinned and she hit him playfully. He pulled her close, “So, my son has…” Hannahlore bit the inside of her cheek, “been engaged in a hostile take over and has some how gotten his hands on his inheritance or a portion of it. I know that you’re all close and well, snitches get stitches.” Armin looked her in the eye, “But, you’re the one that has always seen through the smiles and laughs. What is he doing?”

She tched, “I honestly haven’t been looking into him recently. I just want to beat him out for the apartment.” Armin nodded his head and then looked around the store, “I’ll pay you for your time.” Hannahlore nearly spat her drink out, “What?!” Armin smiled wickedly, “I want tabs on him. I want to know what he’s doing, planning, and has done. Hannahlore, do this for me and I’ll do something priceless for you.”

She narrowed her eyes, “What?” Armin gave her a hug and kiss, “It’s a secret but Lore, it’s what you most desire.” He stood up and walked away, “Also, is there something weird going on with Mila and Nikko?” Hannahlore shrugged, “She’s just dating someone and gone a lot. He works late hours at the school. They’re just off this semester, why?” Armin smiled and she knew that fake nice anywhere, “No reason.” Armin had been upset because none of them could contact Nikko that often and Mila said he was missing a lot of the time. “Get to work, Lore.”

***

_“You and I, it’s as though we have been taught to kiss in heaven and sent down to earth together, to see if we know what we were taught.” --Boris Pasternak_

Yoni was on his stomach on the gym floor while Ezra kept running. Ezra ran to get away from everything. He didn’t like conflict, true conflict, and he didn’t like to be challenged on anything. He was Baba and Aba in a cocktail that was being shaken by an angry giant. “Ezra, what gives?” Ezra hit stop and got off, walking gingerly, “Ezra!? Did you tear your meniscus in your knee again?! What the fuck man, you can’t keep running and running till you fuck your body up!”

Ezra sat down with a thump, “Have you ever liked someone?” Yoni blinked, goading and teasing hum in defense of the simple fact he'd never asked him anything like that before, “Oh my God. Ezra, what? I thought you were asexual.” Ezra turned blood red and stood up, totally pissed off, “Fuck off, Yoni!” He grabbed his stuff from the lockers and slammed them shut. They bent form the force. Ezra was freakishly strong.

Yoni sighed and then felt a bag dropped on his back, “Tell me something, are you trying to be stupid or are you actually stupid?” Zev towered over him, “When did you get here?” Zev smiled, “I’m only here for a week and a few days. Gisela, she...wants to come home and see her Aba and Baba. I want to see my entire family and she let me know what flights would be available. Nothing too strange about all that.” Yoni grinned, “She wants to see Judah, don’t even.” Zev started to laugh, “She does. I do, too. He’s very lovable. You know, it is what it is.”

Zev and Yoni went to get something to eat and talk. Zev was happy, insanely happy, “I love my job, I love getting to stay with Gigi, Tuvia, Keita, or Nikko when I’m off. I love life.” He smiled smugly and Yoni asked the burning question, “So, you and Gisela?”

Zev turned even whiter, “Gisela is like my sister! That’s gross and not at all how I feel. Stop. She’s about to be eighteen” Yoni hummed, “Which will be more than legal. I don’t know why you torture yourself. You don’t want Keita anywhere around her and you know...we’ve kept some people away from her when she was here still.” Zev frowned, “She’s not interested in anything but work and school.” Yoni shrugged, “And sex but as long as it’s with Aviva you don’t mind. With a boy,” he whistled, “there’s the problem.” 

Zev narrowed his eyes, “Says the man that thinks ambiguous notes on gifts is going to be effective. Does it ever work, brother?” Yoni stopped smiling and Zev smirked, “You know, this is why I love Judah. It is never a mystery with him. He’s sour, he’s hostile, he’s grumpy, but he’s sweet, thoughtful, passionate. Judah is alive with bluntness and yet still has such depths to him that he’s like a diamond in the process of being pressed from coal.” 

Yoni took a sip of his tea, “Sounds like you’re in love with Judah.” Zev cackled, “He’d die if he heard you.” Yoni joined in, chuckling deeply in his chest, “That boy likes pussy.” Zev cackled more, slapping his knee, “He fucking does. Who doesn’t? Pussy is one of the greatest gifts God ever gave us. Pussy is the ultimate currency.” Yoni started to cackle, “Stop!” He covered his mouth, “STOP! WE’RE IN PUBLIC.”

******

Judah looked at Hannahlore, “Really?” She kept going through Yoni’s things, “I’ve been employed.” Judah leaned against the doorway, “By whom?” She didn’t reply and Judah scoffed, “I’ll tell. People have a right to privacy.” She pouted and turned around, “Vati!” Judah’s eyes were stone cold and she knew he didn’t believe her, “No. Vati doesn’t do things like that.” She dead panned, “Vati is the Queen of mayhem, blackmail, and guilt.” Judah stared a hole into her, “Vati is pure and angelic. He would never ask someone to spy on his child.”

Hannahlore almost couldn’t believe her ears and then she remembered she was speaking to Judah, the Armin worshiper, “Armin is basically a lethal weapon, Judah!” Judah shook his head and pushed off the doorway, “Blasphemy. Vati is perfect and you’re slandering him. I’m leaving.”

But, before he did, “The only thing that would ever make you happy is if you could fuck and marry Vait.” He took a picture of her on his phone, “Fuck you. I’m telling.” She activated her Mikasa reasoning skills, “OKAY! OKAY! I was teasing….You’re right….it’s was daddy. Erwin made me.” That’s when Judah paused. He was still for a few seconds, “Makes sense. He’s diabolical.” She had him but, “I’ll also tell Gigi about what you did last Thursday if you do or say anything about this.” He looked bored but she knew it was a mask, “Whatever, Lore.”

He left and she went back to snooping in Yoni’s room.

***

_"In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you." --Jane Austen_

Lore called Yoni, “Meet me to do a dry walk through. I’ve got Hannes’ stuff made up into pieces. Some of them we need to give to Zadkiel. Also,” There was yelling, the sliding of chairs and a heavy table on the floor, “GET THAT MAN!” “NOOOO” “HE’S ARMED!” 

_Pow_

_Pow_

Women and men screaming.

Hannahlore’s heart clenched, “YONI!” 

There was nothing but chaos for a while and then, “Hannahlore, I’ll….I’ll be late. There’s been a shooting at work. I have to help.” She took a deep breath, “I’m coming to the apartment. Get there!”

*

_“All hopes of eternity and all gain from the past he would have given to have her there, to be wrapped warm with him in one blanket, and sleep, only sleep. It seemed the sleep with the woman in his arms was the only necessity.” --D.H. Lawrence_

When he came inside of the apartment, shirt open, blood slightly splattered on his white undershirt, and hair tousled her heart nearly beat out of her chest, “Yonatan, what-” He smiled and shook the hands of the contractors, “So sorry, obviously there was an issue at my work. Please ignore the blood, it’s from my nose. Sorry.” He eased the men and they eventually believe his story. She was thankful but was upset.

When they were finished and left he sat down on the old covered couch and she was nearly on top of him, “What happened to you?” She wet a cloth and started to wipe away the blood. He closed his eyes while she wiped and pat around his face. She moved closer, her knees digging into the couch and then she straddled him. 

She smoothed her hands from his jaw up to his hairline slowly, watching his features distorted as she pulled. She took her thumbs and smoothed his brow and then rubbed his temples, “Yonatan? What happened?”

He smoothed his hands up to the top of her thighs, “Times are going to get hard, Lore.” She didn’t dare breathe, “Why?” He opened his eyes, beautiful blue, “Today, a man killed some of my associates. He was a client, appointed to my associates because he wasn’t able to afford representation. He was up for arson and a lot of other crimes he’d committed from the last election.” She bit her lip and he knew she was putting it together.

”He was a Rod supporter.” Yoni nodded, “Yeah, he was. He didn’t it during the convention. But, because of the overwhelming amount of eyewitness it was a closed case. Then he came back in for a hate crime.” She sighed, her fingers still gently tracing the features of his face, “Against us. Ha, apparently he thought we all set him up to fail because, you know, we’re Jews.” He rolled his eyes, “Oh and we have that one muslim guy and girl.”

Hannahlore felt like she should move but she didn’t want to, “So today?” He reached up to cup her face, “Today, he was being brought up on charges at the courthouse down the streets. Before his court time, he was brought over to meet the other defender and to pick up paperwork. That’s when he decided to put his plan in motion. He made sure that when they got to lobby he pulled out a small pistol that he’d brought in wrapped as documents for his trial and since we don’t have the metal detector right there he just pulled it out and starting shooting. When the security guards had him in their sights he shot himself. There was a letter about his intentions and such on his body. I can’t really...discuss those details yet but he alluded to the new “minority protection act” and “racial right to self determination protection act.”

She shrugged, “But, nothing...will come from it.” Yoni’s hands still cupped her face. His left hand smoothed her hair back and then smoothed down her long locks to the tip, “Nothing will come of it….No, Lore, something will. It always has. People who know history are doomed to watch others repeat it. You have faith in humanity, I like that about you. But, I know that this is going to be horrific for so many of us in this country.”

They didn’t move right away and then, “I thought you’d been shot.” He snorted, “He missed me.” She got upset, “Are you telling me the truth!?” He nodded, “Yes, I’d not lie about,” 

“You lie often!” 

“Not to you.” 

She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his neck hugging him, “Shut up.” He held her close, “I’m serious.” She snorted, “Seriously full of shit. But, I was really scared. Can I stay here for a little bit longer?” He smiled, “I’d love for you to.”

_“I cannot let you burn me up, nor can I resist you. No mere human can stand in a fire and not be consumed.” --A.S. Byatt_

*** 

_"One hour of right down love is worth an age of dully living on." --Aphra Benn_

Yoni was exhausted from working at the firm as much as he was these past few months. He was pulling long hours and the cases he took were the most difficult. They were really in need since the shooting and a lot of his cases he took for the fact that public defenders were seen as unhelpful losers. Yoni had quickly become known for his ability to win even the most dismal of cases.

Erwin picked him up one night because he’d called him. His car had been stolen. “Yoni, I love you, but you’ve got to take it easy. You’ll burn out.” Yoni leaned against the seat, “I need to be the best.” Erwin reached over and pulled on his shirt, “Is this lipstick?” Yoni grinned, he wished it was, “Ketchup.”

Erwin licked his finger and then tasted it, “Wow….I really thought you were lying. You know, when I met your Vati, my entire life got put into order real quick. I hope that's what you're looking for. Tuvia is going to be our perpetual bachelor.. But you might be able to settle down with a blessing like your vati.” Yoni nodded his head and waved Erwin’s hand away.

Yoni sighed, “Things are getting worse in the world.” Erwin nodded, “It is.” Erwin didn’t want to focus on it or talk about it. When they came to take the plane away the family had really been faced with what situation they were facing. After the call to France, however…. “Are you working tomorrow?” Yoni shook his head, “No.” Erwin smiled, that was good. He didn’t have to call and threaten anyone, “Good.” 

He pulled up to McDonalds and Yoni laughed, “What?” Erwin pulled into the drive through, “I need two double cheeseburger meals without onions, cokes with those, and then I need a kids happy meal, fires, and the genderless ambiguous pink toy or whatever the hell we’re calling it now, and a large half and half of vanilla and cherry coke.” Yoni was laughing, “Daddy,” he whispered, “you said fires. Don’t you mean fries?” Erwin laughed, “Fires and Fries.”

They got their food and got to the house, “Come eat with me in my room.” Yoni walked with his father, his feet growing heavier and heavier. When he got inside of the room, Armin was on the bed painting his toenails, “Daddy! You’re back- Oh! Yonatan! Come kiss me and love me!” Armin held his arms out and Yoni walked over to hug him and kiss him.

Erwin kissed Armin, “Got you a happy meal, baby.” Yoni stepped to the side and Armin slid of the bed pulling at his clothes, “Take these stuffy things off!” Armin and Erwin exchange conspiratorial glances that went unnoticed by their son. He stripped him to his boxers and white undershirt, “Get in bed and eat!” Yoni was amused, “You’re 22 year old in your bed?” Armin stood on his tiptoes and kissed him, “You’re my 22 month old!” He popped him and they all got in the bed and started eating.

When they finished, Yoni sagged against the headboard and Erwin gently lowered him into the bed putting his head on a pillow. Armin carded his fingers through his hair and admired him, “His sweet little face.” Erwin hummed, “Yes. So sweet….except he wants my position.” Armin started laughing, “He’s just like you.” He paused, “And I lub him so muchies.” His voice was so high and sweet. Armin kissed his son, “I could eat him.”

Erwin traced his face, “Remember when we used to lick them?”

Armin was quiet, he mumbled, “I dunno why you usin’ the past tense.”

Erwin’s eyebrows rose in shock, “Armin!”

Armin blinked, “Eren does it, too.”

***

Yoni woke up in his parents bed and heard the familiar nagging of his dedka, “Why you wear those ugly little socks?” Amrin turned around, “Because you’ve got a foot fetish, you dirty old man!” Zad chuckled, “I’d never like anything like that. I’m an ass man.” Armin turned to walk towards him, “You eat ass, old man?” Zadkiel scoffed, “I wreck ass, little sissy.” Armin raised an eyebrow, “Glad to see you’ve learned the lingo from the 2010s. Over twenty years late but whatevs. Still have to use urban dictionary?”

Zadkiel smirked, “But seriously, how do you still look thirty?” Armin stalked closer and then climbed in his lap, “Genetics, bitch. And all of my babies were C-section.” He gazed into Zad’s eyes and it was a sensual and tense moment that Yoni felt extremely uncomfortable being present for, “Um...pleeeeaaaase let me leave. Vati….why….why are you flirting with dedka?” 

Armin pushed off of him haughtily, “Your dedka would be so lucky.” He walked away and Zad smiled, “Yoni, how are you?” Yoni smoothed his hands out on the sheets, “Mmm fine.” Zad picked the paper back up, “Well, you’ve been put on house arrest.” Yoni closed his eyes.

He settled into his parents bed like when he was a little boy.

He felt the call to sleep.

His eyes opened.

“WHAT?!”

Zadkiel smirked, “Now he gets it. Yes, your parents have locked the house down and you can’t leave or do anything but sleep and be pampered. You’ve pushed yourself too far.”

He sat up, “WHAT?!” Erwin appeared with a tray of food, “Oh, you’re awake. Well, not for long. You’re going to eat so much you’ll go right back to sleep.” Yoni was panicking, “Daddy!? Daddy?!” He gave him some orange juice and Yoni drank some, “Daddy?! Dedka says,” Erwin shushed him shoving some pancakes in his mouth, “Hurry up and eat and then go back to sleep. Dedka is crazy. Don’t listen to him.” He kept feeding him and asking him to drink. Yoni tried between bites to get a word in but suddenly he was so sleepy. He finished his food and went back to bed.

Erwin cleaned the plates up and then turned to his father, “You’ll watch him?” Zad nodded, “What’s in the juice?” Erwin smiled, he looked just like Yoni and Zad knew he was trying to convince him, “Nothing, just pulp.” He smiled again and Zad scoffed, “Fucking sleeping pills.” Erwin shrugged, “I’d never.” Zad gave him a look, “But Armin would.” Erwin acted like he was sealing his lips and left the room. 

Zad managed a look at a sleeping Yoni, “Yonatan, your parents love you so much and you have no idea. That’s probably a good thing. I also love you. That’s why I’m here to make sure you don’t overdose.” *** 

_"He was my North, my South, my East and West, My working week and my Sunday rest." --W.H. Auden_

Hannahlore was still in her workout clothes when she pulled up to the building. They didn’t know a lot about their parents. She’d always been bothered by that. They were all orphaned it seemed, Nonni and Mim mim were all that was left with Dedka. Her mother was even more of an enigma and her father would only ever disclose that he was only half brothers with uncle Levi. Maybe that’s what the source of it all was.

Everyone of the kids were sleuths. They were in tune to things of the unknown but Gisela was the best. She actually had knowledge of the unknown and while Judah didn’t admit one way or the other he, too, knew things he shouldn’t. But, Hannahlore only had her natural instinct and refined skills she’d developed over the years. She called Tuvia, “I’d like to ask a question.” 

Tuvia sighed, “What?” She looked around the yard, “What did he offer you?” Tuvia was silent and then he started to laugh, “He may annoy the shit out of me but no, Lore. I won’t tell you.” She grinned, “I got in your email. I don’t need the answer. I just wanted to tell you thank you. You gave me the smoking gun.” Tuvia started to cackle, “Oh okay! Well, if that’s what you wanted to find then looks like you’ve accomplished what you wanted.” She thought that was a little off but she turned her focus back on the house and the yard full of sculpted shrubberies. A few attractive men and women appeared with trays of refreshments.

When she got off the phone with him he kept laughing, the other voice was curious, “Why are you laughing?!” He fell onto the floor off the couch, “What’s so funny!?” He wiped his eyes, “The fact that anyone in this family thinks that anyone doesn’t have dummy email accounts is fucking hilarious!”

***

__

"Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love." --William Shakespeare

When Yoni woke up it was dark. He’d been fed and then put back to bed over and over again. Armin had done around the room and Dedka had read a pile of books. He rolled over and stretched. That’s when he smelled her. She always smelled like cherry blossoms and something else that was so sweet. “Lore?”

She was sitting in Zad’s seat, just the two of them, “I came to see how you were. Also, you missed a meeting today for materials for the apartment. Do that again and you’ll have absolutely no say in any of it.” He smiled, “I’m sorry. But, I’m better. I must have been really tired.” She stood up, “I’m heading out. Have a nice night, Yonatan.” She left and he missed her and the way she smelled. He closed his eyes and tried to smell her somewhere lingering in the room. 

After a few minutes the lights came on, “But, one thing before I go.” He opened his eyes, “Yes?” She was unreadable, “Whatever you offered Tuvia will only buy you so much time, Yoni. I’m not that easily bought and I will make him crack. He will reveal to me whatever it was and I’ll be sure to match it if I have to.” He smirked, cheeks hot, “Are you threatening me, baby?” She tilted her head to the side, “Baby?” He didn’t say anything and she turned to leave, “Yes, that’s a threat.”

She already had much more than she needed. 

***

_“She is a friend of mind. She gather me, man. The pieces I am, she gather them and give them back to me in all the right order. It's good, you know, when you got a woman who is a friend of your mind.” --Toni Morrison_

Lore and Yoni met for coffee and to discuss the apartment, “How's the business?” She looked up coyly from her coffee, “It's fine. Why?” He shrugged. Honestly, he was worried and losing sleep over it all. He was worried about her experiencing discomfort and he’d already send some clients over to her by threats. He’d shown up at some homes and created the need for some redecorating. “I hear that you've lost some accounts.” Yoni was always straight with her/ But, this was too sensitive for her, “And I hear you're drowning at work.” He smiled, “Let's do something fun, just you and me.” She sat back in her chair, “Like what?”

Yoni asked her to get up and she did. He got the coffees to go and held the door open for her as she walked out. “I hope you're not busy this weekend.” She didn't like the sound of that, “Yonatan…”

They got in his car and started off onto the interstate. She was squirming to know where they were going, “Yoni, you'd better be sure you've got it all under control.” He grinned, “Of course, why would I ever put you in harm? You're the most beautiful thing in my life.” Hannahlore looked over at him, “What?” She was blushing and he turned the radio on, “You heard me.”

*

She pushed the cart through the target as he ran ahead grabbing toiletries, “I can’t believe that this is what we’re doing.” He turned to smile and they were quiet for a while just looking at each other, “Have you ever wanted something so badly that you’d do anything to secure it?” She hesitated, “In what way?” He hummed, “Have you ever wanted something so much but you knew it wasn’t simple to get it. You’d have to wait, plan, and make allotments and back up plans in order to create the perfect moment that you might have the optimal chances of succeeding in getting it?”

She smiled, “No. I don’t think I have. I understand in some respect what you’re saying but I don’t think I have ever planned for something that important.” He put his hands on the rails of the buggy, “You’re mother probably would be of the same opinon.” She smiled, “She would. Mom would say that things have to be organic, not forced. She’d tell me about how she met aba and how they’d naturally been connected and even though they took things slow and others made fun of them they were doing things right for them. It was what was right for them.” Yoni nodded, “I have always respected your parents.”

When they drove into the city she smiled. Her head was leaned against the window and she sighed, “I love this place.” New Orleans was full of history and potential decor inspiration. Yoni had bought train tickets when she turned eighteen and they’d come by themselves for a long weekend to catch the festivals. She could see them advertising for the tomato festival and all the people in for it were littering the streets. People were like ants crawling over the sidewalks into gutters, cutting corners at crosswalks haphazardly, and food stands were crowded with able bodied humanoids sticking deep fried fat into their mouths.

He pulled up to the hotel, a classic, “It’s haunted.” She bit the inside of her cheek, “The Dauphine.” He smirked, “I’m glad you can read signs, Lore.” She hit him, “I don’t believe in ghosts.” He reached over and started to pinch her and she kept slapping him away, “STOP!” He laughed, chuckled really, and she smiled more and more.

A man walked up to the car and asked to park it. They got their bags out, ones they’d just made for this trip in the target parking lot, and were shown to the front desk. “We have the suite towards the French Quarter for you Mr and Mrs. Smith.” Yoni put his card down and Hannahlore rolled her eyes, “Why did you book it like that?” The woman paused and he looked over, “I didn’t. She just assumed.” The woman gasped slightly, “Sorry, I did just assume.”

Yoni and Hannahlore looked around the room, “We haven’t shared a bed since we were really little.” Yoni laughed and fell back on the bed, “Do you want to nap, go look around, or eat?” She fell back on the bed alongside him, “I want to do it all.” He smiled, “Remember when we came last time and I lost you on the gator tour?” She started to laugh, “Listen, it was pitch black.” He looked over at her, “But, knowing your mother I’d have expected you to be able to keep up with me more than I could ever hope to keep you up.” She rolled off the bed and her phone went off, “Uh oh, that’s the Keita patrol.”

Yoni was worried because Keita could make things considerably more difficult for him. “I’m in New Orleans with Yoni. No, it’s great. The weather is so nice and we’re going to just do around.” She spoke to him for a while and Yoni changed. When he was done she was getting ready to do the same thing but she turned the water on to quickly wash off in the shower. He sat down and checked his emails and then saw that there was a lot of concern among their peers at the temple.

Rod Reiss seemed to be following a 1930s handbook that some historian had made notes for improvement on. Their country was becoming dangerous.

Internationally, they were engaged in pointless conflicts. The most pressing was the one with France. It was hurting their family considerable since they had Aviva, Gisela, Mila, and Nikko all over there and then Bellamy, Alexi, and Lilly were in Russia and Ukraine. Zev and Keita were in Israel and that was always potentially dangerous. They were hoping to get the girls to Austria. Ha, who would have thought they’d be saying that!

Bianca traveled the world as a model and Tuvia was dug in in Poland like some WWI trench. He worried about him constantly. When Cesare traveled, he tried to stay with him and reported back to Yoni. Ezra seldom traveled and worked constantly at the clinic and sometimes at the hospital in the lab. He did, when asked, go to South America and Turkey. Yoni often went to Argentina. Hannahlore was a jet setter as well, but mostly to asian countries and Israel. She was amazing. 

She appeared and they went to get something to eat. While at restaurant she seemed distracted, “What’s happened?” She shrugged, “I’m just dealing with stiff competition these days. I simply need to do better to maintain my hold and my reputation. It’s all that I can do.” He pushed some sweet potato fries onto her plate, “You can eat a little more, too.” She gave him a smirk, “You know my weakness is fried anything.” He laughed, “Yeah.” They were quiet, peaceful, “Lore?” 

”Yeah?”

“Whatever you want.”

“What?”

“I’ll get you whatever you want. You only have to ask.”

*

They went from store to store. 

“I want this.”

”I want this.

”I want this.”

“I want this.

”I want this.”

He’d watched as she’d picked out beautiful things with distinct personalities that amazed him. Hannahlore had taste, class, and elegance about her that he was in love with. She was basically the perfect woman. Coy, demure, and perfect. She was utterly perfect. “Remember when we used to play house and we were always the mom and dad?” She laughed as the piece was prepared to be shipped back to Maria, “Yeah, you were a pretty good dad.” He walked up beside her, “Was I?” She nodded, “But, that was pretend. How do you think you’d be in real life?”

He looked at the street out of the window, “I think I’d be like my daddy.” She seemed to really think about that and then she smiled and humphed, “That’s a very nice thing to be.” He pulled her hair and she snorted pushing him away, “Stop.”

It carried on, their small conversations punctuated with her “I want this.” He liked her telling him things like that. He liked giving her things, “When your mother wants something, what does your aba do?” She was drinking a mojito, she looked [dressed](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/78/e8/51/78e851cd32f7884568ae93c5b846af52.jpg) to kill, and she was tipsy and loose with her words. “He moves heaven and earth because for my aba, momma is everything.”

*

“I want to dance.” He didn’t dance but for her, “Sure.” He got up and pulled her out onto Bourbon Street for them to find a club that had better music. She was uneasy with her steps and he held her close, “I’m worried that they’re going to hate everything I do for them. The President called me the other day and-” She’d been so busy lately he never had time to see her. If she wanted to see him, he met her and if not, then she was working on more important things or traveling.

“What do you ideally want, Lore?” She leaned against him in line, “I want steady work, security, routine, controlled spontaneity. I want a strong partner that is self sufficient but obsessed with me and yet, doesn’t just want to please me all the time but secretly only wants to please me.” She smirked and then looked ahead in line, “He’s hot.” Yoni followed her sights and gave a humpf, “True, but-”

“How often do you have sex?”

Yoni thought about it, “It depends. When I was dating, every day unless we were sick or one us just didn’t feel like it. I masturbate a lot as well. Why? That’s something I’d expect you to ask a girlfriend.”

“I ask Tuvia.”

“Exactly, a little girlfriend.” He snickered and she hit him.

“I dunno. I was curious. I guess my sex drive is just higher than others. Keita would be horrified.”

“He has no room to talk. It’s your body and you can do what you want.”

She leaned on him more and closed her eyes, “What’s that smell?” He wrapped his arm around her protectively as a few suspect men leered at her and moved closer, “Versace.” She giggled, “I got you that.” He smiled, “I know. I like it. It reminds me of the stuff vati gets daddy. I want to be like daddy: spoiled, loved, and worshiped.”

They moved inside and got drinks. She danced and he danced around her. He tried to black out all of the stress of his life. Nikko had called him and now he was slowly but surely committing many crimes trying to protect his family. He had bank accounts set up, he was funneling money into them from his inheritance and a few others. Every transaction was…. “Yoni?” She called out and for once it was silent in his mind. 

*

She was dancing with another guy while he sat at the bar. It was almost early morning and his body was shaking. He did a lot of coke when working to stay up late. He was coming off of it now. She’d had fun and that was all that mattered. Now, he was coming to grips she might go home with someone else and then how would he find her, protect her, bring her back in one piece? The world was cruel. Nikko had shown him that. He had made him more aware than ever before.

He felt her hands move from behind around his waist. She pressed the side of her face into his back, “Yonatan?” He leaned back, “Are you going off? Be safe.” She held tighter and he kept looking forward at his whisky that was nearly gone. She nuzzled her face into his back slightly, “Turn around, Yonatan.” He did and she looked him straight in the face.

She was beautiful, her hair down and wet from sweat. Her eyes were inky and pulled him in. She was the strongest woman in the world. She was his perfect ideal. She was feisty, intelligent, resourceful, and creative. He sometimes hated how in love he was with her. He’d always thought it was some sort of childhood crush but it’d never gone away.

She leaned closer and he pulled her so that if she spoke he could hear. “Yoni,” she breathed, her hand traveled up his leg, “I want this.” He thought HaShem had taken him out to lay in green pastures.

*

She held his hand while he waived a cab down. Her breath was hot on his neck as she left sloppy kisses and he grinned like a fool. She crawled in his lap and held his face while she kissed him and moaned into his mouth. She smelled like sweat and something else he couldn’t place, something almost sweet but somewhat comforting. He tangled his hands in her hair and let himself enjoy the slow go of the traffic due to other drunks.

When they got into the lobby they were stopped and police were pulling someone out of their room. A woman was yelling, a man drug her on the floor by her hair while she yelled and grabbed at his hands. Hannahlore stopped in her tracks horrified. He pulled her along with him, “Why are they doing that?” He pulled her to the elevator and pushed her inside first, “Filthy pieces of South American SH-.”

The doors closed and Yoni held her hand tightly, “What is happening to our country?” She was shaking and Yoni leaned his head against the door, “Under the minority protection act, any minority as defined as an such persons belonging to either a racial, religious, ethical, or other minority has the right to protect itself against dangers from outside majorities. As denoted in the article subsection C, a minority can be one that is a majority in the country but due to geographical reasons is a minority in the area and has the right to take whatever means necessary to combine their strengths and protect themselves from outsider majorities.” She wrapped her arms around herself, “Will they come for us tonight?” He couldn't answer her.

They crawled into the cold bed, he put his arms around her like when they were kids and camping out in the cold with Dedka and uncle Jean. She cried herself to sleep and he nuzzled the top of her head. He just wanted her to rest. 

*

They woke up in a cold and dark room momentarily forgetting last night and then way it ended. She pressed herself closer, “Remember those Japanese toilets?” Yoni’s laugh was muffled and half choked, “Oh God, yes.” She pressed her face into his chest, “Levi wanted those toilets so bad and when they arrived Erwin was so skeptical.”

Yoni really started to chuckle, “And then I wanted to find out how they worked and you did, too. So you sat down and we felt really scandalous because I was seeing your *special area* we were told to respect and then you were squealing!” She laughed, “Oh it's so embarrassing. I remember the water was up too high for my butt and the pressure was so intense and it scared me. I just shot upa nd then water went all over the front of your pants and the floor. Then you made me sit down and figure it out so we could fix it.” He kept laughing, “And you know….mysteriously all of those toilets broke.”

She moved back to look at him, “How did they really break?” Yoni smiled, “Can you keep a secret?” She smiled coyly, “Naturally.” He whispered, “Daddy and Baba broke them all because they never could get used to them. Dedka loved them but never admitted it and Vati nearly wept when his broke.” They giggled and then called room service before going out to explore some more and find things for the apartment. 

***

They'd only been back a few hours when she had to fly to Israel for a meeting. He'd hoped they could finish what had started but it seemed to be nothing more than a weak moment with alcohol. “When I get back I…” She looked at her phone and looked ill. He reached out but she pulled it back in her pocket, “We….can get together for the apartment.”

He nodded, “Of course.” She wasn't okay and he knew it. “I'm going to take you to Atlanta.” She shook her head, “Just to Montgomery. I'll fly there to Atlanta. It's closer and you won't have to go two hours out of your way and then another two.” She gave a weak smile. She had her Mikasa face on and he was concerned, “Let's go, Lore.” She didn't speak the entire ride there and instead she lost herself in thought. He reached over to look at her phone when she ran into the bathroom at the airport restaurant and saw the emails. 

He would destroy the world for her. 

*

When she left he called him and made an appointment. He'd sell his soul to make it all come together but his main focus was always securing her. Security for Hannahlore and her interests was the top of all of his lists. He changed and dressed to kill. His nails hair groomed to perfection. 

”What are you here for today, Yoni?” Zackly smoked his cigar and the puffs of grey billowed out through his nostrils, “I'm here for information and to arrange a need of services.” He grinned and chuckled, “You have no idea how happy that makes me.” Yoni took his place before the iron cross. 

“Have you ever wanted to be powerful?”

***

Hannahlore landed and he was there with Gio, “Lore, baby, I have something exciting for you!” She always felt a strange sensation in her chest when he called her baby but mostly she just thought of how his daddy spoke to his vati and the love he had for him. She allowed them to take her things and she followed behind slowly until Gio picked her up and threw her over his broad shoulders, “Come on, Lore.”

Gio was eighteen and huge. He looked like Marco and had the fun cockyness of Jean but only when he drank. He had been an apprentice under Ms. Jennie and had been working in Sasha and Connie’s restaurant since he was fourteen. He was in culinary school and sometimes traveled with Ms. Jennie around as an assistant in her chocolatier competitions. Gio loved it. He woke up in the morning and was happy and content.

Yoni pulled them up to a building and pulled them [inside](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/5e/da/d5/5edad5ac7f541bd54a110c9034f7c77b.jpg), “Welcome to Gio’s new restaurant. There is a [cafe](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/46/93/6d/46936dd025b4606ba2db2c0574c20270.jpg) on the side with a book nook and a [bar](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/0b/be/6b/0bbe6b019ea2a5e0e0d2d91bba06e768.jpg) in here and the entire thing is of course, an eatery of monumental Italian proportions.” Gio was smiling ear from ear, “I mean, it’s a risk but I couldn’t pass it up. Yoni is going in as an investor.” 

She smiled, “I love it. But, I also hear my father and his warnings about resturants.” Gio laughed, “Oh yeah, Mim Mim and Nonni are also investors.” She walked around while Gio spoke excitedly and then they came to another door, “And this leads to the store next door.” She looked at Yoni suspiciously and he opened it.

When she walked into the building she saw things, her things. She saw sketches turned into fabrics, her mother’s clothing line, and interesting architectureal aspects. ( [1](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/6f/5f/6b/6f5f6b24b929164fb9fd71544c09dc77.jpg) [2](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/24/3b/1e/243b1e6dc9b85ba4899d2a4ccd3ee180.jpg) [3](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a0/1e/57/a01e57c731ad3464f546f11b87aa473e.jpg) [4](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/b0/e3/8a/b0e38a76a69ba331bd30b9c75edf8f08.jpg) [5](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/fc/e1/f2/fce1f2943644f1b91f4f7b7423e32960.jpg) ) Yoni placed his hands on her shoulder, “In the back there is a work shop and I’ve already interviewed a few employees to help you run errands and run the shop. You can meet them as soon as possible. Gio will be next door and this is where you can have people come meet you and do consultations.”

She stared, “You shouldn’t….you shouldn’t have….” She was teary eyed and then Mikasa and David walked in with flowers, ‘Oh! Lore!” They were all smiles and she broke down sobbing in her mother’s arms, “We thought you deserved it and Yoni had it all ready to go.” David kissed her, “There is always something to look forward to.”

Yoni was happy and he handed her a schedule, ‘These are the times, the numbers, everything.” She took it and laughed shakily, “Thank you, Yoni. I’ll make it up to you. I promise.” He hoped she’d just continue to live and be herself.

In another town, at that same moment, a shop was burning.

***

“I’m getting tired of her.” She mumbled as Mikasa cooked in the kitchen. She'd only just returned after six packed days in Israel. “She swiped up the Goldbergs.” Mikasa stopped stirring her sauce, “Seriously?” Rebecca Lenz didn’t go to medical school. Instead, she started to train under her cousin Krista and was now entering into her field of interior design. “Momma, what the hell is Krista Lenz’s deal?” Mikasa looked at the timer and then sat down, “You really know how to start Shabbat off. You’re father has invited Reiner and Bertolt over.”

Hannahlore knew that would complicate things, “Can you give me the Eren version?” She smiled, “The extremely blunt factual one? I thought I already did that for you.” She giggled, “Yeah, you do but he talks so fast.” Mikasa sat down, “Okay, well….Krista’s mother didn’t want her so she lived with her grandparents for a long time. She said her father sends money to her but she has nothing to do with him.” Hannahlore’s brow furrowed, “Is Rod Reiss her father?” Mikasa paused, “She says he’s an old friend of her biological father that has sometimes acted on her real father's behalf. They are not related by blood but by honor.”

Mikasa was still and Hannahlore was too, “But...that’s a load of shit, it has to be.” Mikasa said nothing. They didn’t tell their kids about anything according to the deal. That includes theories and too much back story. Twenty years, a deal brokered by the two wolves himself. 

That was the deal. But, now that deal had expired since Zev and Keita were now almost 23. One Eye didn’t seem to think it was game on. Armin was still in contact with him and Mikasa and David had their own things in the works. She trusted her husband. She trusted her family.

”She said that her father saved Rod's life in a freak automobile accident. They were best friends at college and had known each other all their lives by living in the same community. They drifted physically apart but remain friends. When her father died he found out about Krista. He pledged he'd take care of anything she needed in order to repay the debt he'd never settled with his old friend.” Lore sighed, “I can’t with that level of dysfunction.” Mikasa smiled, “So, Rebecca is now the competition. I had never even thought that would be a possibility. Is she really competition, though?”

Hannahlore pouted, “Yeah, she is. The fact that Krista basically stole her ideas and style from Armin, you, and others in the family sickens me. I don’t know why any of us tolerate them. Ymir can be tolerable but Krista is a copy cat snake in the grass.” Lore was getting Eren level pissed, “We’ll talk more later, right?” Mikasa nodded and then they heard it, “Dave! What do you mean you won’t try it?! My Bert can cook a mad good casserole.” Bertolt laughed, “Reiner, come on. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea.” Reiner opened the door with David following and Bertolt, “Hannahlore! Oh, you look even more pretty!” She smiled, “Thanks Reiner.” He hugged her, “I mean, you’re beautiful!” Bertolt came over to hug her, “That’s a fact, you are gorgeous.”

Reiner and Bertolt were happily married and often spent time with David and Mikasa. They were fun and lived a simple and normal life. In other words, everyone in the family could stand them and Reiner was often called on to make a party even more fun. But, they definitely had a few drawbacks. Namely, that they were permanently attached to Krista and Ymir because, “Sebastian is traveling again. I told Krista we needed him here more but she didn’t agree. I guess I’ll have to wait till Christmas again to see my own son.” Reiner was sad about that. Bertolt knew he’d loved being a father and loved Sebastian, “Bertolt?” Mikasa said quietly, “Why didn’t you and Reiner ever have one together? I mean, the fact that Krista asked Reiner to be the father of her child after you were married just would make me think that, perhaps, you two would have wanted another one just between you or another one with her..”

Bertolt shrugged, “I guess Sebastian was just always enough for us four.”

That night they all had coffee and drank a little, “Um Lore, would you perhaps be free to look at our guest house?” She was surprised, “You’re not using Rebecca?” Reiner grinned and Bertolt looked uncomfortable, “Um, no. Rebecca is…” Reiner slapped his knee, “Shit. Honestly, Krista just takes things and uses her influence to get them going and stay going. I love her, but it's the fucking truth. Rebecca is crap. Well, she must have had some taste because she picked Nikko to date.” Bertolt snorted, “And then he broke with her and said, “I want to fuck girls with long red fingernails.” David and Mikasa nearly spat their coffee out, “WHAT?” They didn’t believe it at all, “He would never!”

Reiner grinned so much it hurt, “She pushed little Nikko to the edge, man. She must be the devil, for real.” Bertolt nodded, “She really is.” Hannahlore felt uncomfortable because she always knew that Krista held all the cards with them. Whatever she had on them, it was enough that they never broke away.

David was their therapist and had been since before she was born. Sebastian had been a well thought out plan in his opinion and from what he had mentioned to Hannahlore and Keita, all four adults co-parented well. Krista had run unsuccessfully against Erwin a few times for Mayor but then she became a senator and so did Erwin. Erwin had been pushed by Armin but he’d never decided to run for Governor. He said he liked keeping things small and local. 

Hannahlore was similar to Armin. When she saw potential, she wanted to monopolize on it. Perhaps, that’s what she should encourage in… _Yoni would be perfect for so many things….._

Bertolt talked about the new clients they had at their consulting firm. Zad’s business was putting a damper on theirs for the simple fact that they tended to represent clients affected by one another. What was good for one set was bad for the other. Reiner took it all with a grain of salt but Bertolt would sometimes fish for information on Zad. 

Lore’s phone went off and she stood up, “It’s Tuvia. I’ll be back.” David took a shot and then smiled, “Tuvia calls, she answers, they still aren't married.” She snorted, “Never going to happen. He’s literally like a brother.” David frowned, “I just want her to meet a rich and nice Jewish boy.” Mikasa shrugged, “She did see a nice Jewish Japanese boy in Japan.” David was into it, “Who? How did you know?” Mikasa smiled, “I heard it through the family, you know? Fukimo Moto. Nice, handsome, clean background check that Levi ran for me.” David started laughing, “Oh, we’re destroying any chance of our children speaking to us.” She kissed him, “I know!”

Hannahlore was out on the balcony now, “Tuvia, my prince?” He sighed, “Listen, I don’t….I don’t….just…” She frowned, “What’s wrong?” He sighed, “My….Hannahlore, I don’t even know what I’m trying to say. Things are getting crazy in Poland and I think that I should do something.” She was concerned, “I don’t understand.”

“Lore, I’m not good with words or people. I’d rather just build something and be by myself. But, other people aren’t like me.” 

She stayed on the line and listened. That’s all Lore could do for Tuvia and all she’d ever done.

After an hour he finished, “I love you. I’ve always been thankful for you.” She wiped a tear, “You’re my best friend.” He snorted, “I’m a shitty pick.” Hannahlore returned and they were cleaning up, “Lore?” She shook her head, “I’m just tired.” Mikasa and David looked at one another, “Lore, are you sure?” She nodded, “I am.” Reiner hugged her and so did Bertolt, “Well, good night, sweetheart.” She went into her room and crawled into bed. Her hands on her phone. She started to make some appointments and then sent a text to Yoni setting up an appointment more for pleasure than for business..

***

Yoni was tired and car-less, “Judah, please?” He hissed, “Noooooo.” Yoni pouted, “Pleeeeassse, I need to meet Lore.” Judah glared, “Take Zev’s. It’s not being used. Take Tuvia’s! Why would you ask me!? I’m here and need my car, you fucking idiot.” Yoni frowned and then moved to try and hug him. Judah started to hit him and soon they were wrestling on the floor, Judah hissing, “You little fucking piece of shit!” Judah was livid and then Yoni smirked, “Your sister thinks I’m great!” He hit him harder, “She hates you!” Yoni went to take Zev’s car and headed to Montgomery.

*

She was so disappointed as he came inside of the materials warehouse, “For someone who wears tailored suites that rival Nehemiah Ackermann and Keita Lavie, you look like a fucking homeless person.” She was so lit and he found it so amusing. He’d always wondered about how his daddy felt when his vati was angry. In his defense, he couldn’t take her serious just like Erwin couldn’t take Armin serious. But, like his father, he knew she was serious and he better straighten up, “I don’t have a car.”

She blinked, “What?” He smiled, “Didn’t you know that? My car was stolen and I had to find one to borrow.” She turned when she heard the contractors coming down the hallway, “No, I didn’t. You should have called me.” He moved closer, “Would you have picked me up?” She looked at him and grinned, “I would have and you’d have been on time.”

“Hannahlore, we have the tile samples!” They were taken into a private room to discuss all of the selections.

***

Things were reaching their worst in the country.

She was losing her mind, sweat all over her body, face red, frustrated and losing a grip on reality after hours and hours of this madness, “I don’t understand why I can’t mail this?” The post office had become the source of all of her problems today but it was symbol for a much larger issue, “Because the law states that people like you can’t send help to terrorists.” She stared, “THESE ARE FABRIC SWATCHES AND CARE PACKAGES! MY FAMILY IS NOT FULL OF TERRORISTS! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!? HAVE YOU NO HUMANITY!?” The man was not moved, “And your people killed my savior. It’s you who lack humanity.” He shut the door and she stood there still and in shock. She tried other windows but they were all shut to her.

In the car she broke down, “Oh God, no.” She looked at her license and understood what had happened. Everyone registered now for their religion and race. She also had duel citizenship and driver’s permits now showed that as well. She’d been flagged as a Jew. It was basically 1939 again and she started to panic.

She drove to the apartment because the drive home would take too long. She got out and entered the stairs and walked up to the floor. The door was open and unlocked. It made her panic more and she ran through the apartment looking for anyone and anything. Furniture had been delivered, pieces that cost a fortune. Paintings from France were there and if a robber had known his Monet and Klimt he could have made a fortune on just one piece.

She saw a note from Yoni, “Lore, my key is missing. I couldn’t lock up.” She wanted to throat punch him. He was so sloppy lately. He was never around when he needed him to be and he worked constantly. That wasn’t such a bad thing but he broke promises all the time. She was done sharing with him. She was done living at home and being suffocated by the government.

She was losing clients in masse.

She wasn’t even allowed to purchase land.

There were so many laws now all coming out in neatly packaged dressed up hate. It all sounded so promising when one heard their names. Protection, Minority, Self Determination, Rights of Citizens, and more and more and more...The perpetrator had merely taken victim rhetoric and changed it to gas light a nation. She locked the door and went to the bathroom turning on the water.

She sat down in the shower and cried.

*

Judah screamed into Ezra’s chest. He pounded into his brother in frustration. Ezra was silently crying but he needed to be close to him. They were all they had in that moment. Judah embraced him crying into him more. Ezra sat them down on his bed and held him. What was happening in their country?

Cesare came inside, his eyes red from unshed tears, “Papa and dad are going to...I don’t know. Help your parents. Help something maybe.” Cesare couldn’t understand the sight of a weeping Judah and Ezra looked sick, “They’re just...they could be killed.” Cesare stood awkwardly, his body felt like it was full of heavy water, “Where is Yoni?” Ezra shrugged, “I don’t know.”

Cesare didn’t know what to say. He was so lost. His family wasn’t suffering like this but they were. Because, there were no clearly defined lines of who was and wasn’t family here..

“Give me a phone.” It was guttural, a screech. Judah demanded with his face still pressed into Ezra’s chest, “Give me a fucking phone! NOW!” Cesare started looking in his pockets and pulled one out, “Here.” He grabbed the phone and went into the bathroom. * 

Levi was sitting in Erwin’s lap, “They said the plane will be returned when all airways have been secured.” Erwin was staring at the wall, “I don’t know how to fix this, Levi.” Levi smoothed his hair back, “If they take everything from us then we still will have each other, our husbands, our children. So, what? Let them take our money, take it all. Let them take our businesses, our stocks, our socks and underwear. Let them throw us out on the curb naked in the cold. We’ll make it. Because, we’re so much stronger than they’ll ever be.”

*

Armin was at the bank fighting and Zadkiel picked him up, “What’s the damage.” Armin’s face was pink and a few tears were silently rolling down his face. He wiped them away and then laughed shortly, then he laughed more and harder, “I...must have been so much smarter back in the past lives. Apparently, it’s registered to a Christian name of mine and Erwin’s and it’s got a clause for this situation written in! I can’t believe it. So, the main Smith account is secure. My account is shut down but I was able to transfer those funds to Jean and Marco. Maxim’s account is fine but Ilya’s was being confiscated so I got him on the phone and we moved all of their money over into an account under Jean’s name.”

“However, I was only able to get Levi’s account put into Marco’s name and not Eren’s. It’s frozen but… I have no idea of guessing the fate of it. Gisela’s personal account was moved into Judah’s. Ezra’s and Nikko’s were moved all under Cesare, Bellamy, and Bianca. Zev’s and Tuvia’s were hastily combined into one but there were losses and I had to put it under Lilly’s. Yoni’s was gone. I….a lot of the kids had large amounts of money missing. They sustained large losses.”

Zad frowned, “How did the adults do?” Armin was quite, “Large losses.” Zad tched, “What about David and Mikasa?” He frowned, “It was bad.” Zad thought that his tone was interesting, “Why are you confused?” Armin shrugged, “I don’t know. I feel like something is happening that I can’t see.” He kept crying and Zad took him to get ice cream. They ate in the car in silence and tried to suppress the worry they all shared.

*

”What I am suggesting is that we sue.” The man removed his glasses, “Son, we haven’t got any money to even sue with.” There were papers that moved across the tables back and forth, “But, I have money.” The papers stopped, “Impossible! You’re in the same boat as we are!” Papers and small talk resumed as the endless tap, tap, tap of fingers on typewriters and laptops increased, “But, if I gave you money, you’d sue?”

Silence, “Son, if you had the money, we’d sue.”

*

The building had round the clock security, “How are we paying them?” The man with the constantly fingerprint stained glasses sighed, “They’re not being paid. They’re just good people.” Hands slid on the mahogany stair railing, “If we can get someone to challenge the legislature in this state, we can get our money back. Then we’ll already have the case brought up to the Supreme court. That will get the national support to pour out because we can’t be alone. The ghettos in the north will rise up.” “I hear they’re already lighting fires.”

“We should be prepared. We’re not protected here for the long haul.”

“How long do you honestly think it’ll take?”

There was a long silence, “Ideally, nine months to a year. We need to make sure that the state repeals certain laws and then we can make it work. At least if the state is ours, we can live here relatively normally.”

“Your father...they’ll come for him.”

“What?”

“Didn’t you hear? They’re taking people like him to jail.”

Somewhere, in the lobby, a little girl was crying while her mother waited to speak to them about getting her husband out of jail.

*

Yoni was sweating and coming apart at the seams. Tuvia had called him and told him all about the situation in Poland. He’d called his parents and they were trying to make everything seem okay. He’d almost believed them until he spoke to Cesare and the breakdown of Judah had become clear. Ezra wouldn’t speak on the phone with him but texted saying that he was covering for baba because he and aba were too distraught.

He tried to open the door but it was locked. He banged on the door, echoing loudly in the hallway. The door opened and she was wearing one of his shirts, his boxers, her hair was damp, eyes red and puffy. “You!” She hissed and he couldn’t think of anything other than how happy he was to see her. “YOU LEFT THIS APARTMENT UNLOCKED! I WANT YOU GONE, YONATAN! You better get your fucking checkbook out!”

He was holding his tears back. He could sob from joy at the sound of her voice, “Ha!” She suddenly said, covering her mouth. Her eyes were wet and he couldn’t even begin to understand why, “As if I even have any money. All of my clients are jumping ship and have been since New Orleans. I’m ruined. I’m just a Jew who can’t even mail a package!” She started to laugh and walk back into the apartment.

He followed slowly, tentatively behind her, “I checked my bank account and it’s gone. All of it’s frozen and half the funds are missing.” She moved into the [living room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/25/7f/a9/257fa9cce5f7972cc44a03f2fa1d025b.jpg) while he moved behind the island in the [kitchen](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/df/75/eb/df75eb0ac4e27de68a64df58b3a08c26.jpg).

Yoni smoothed his hands on the countertop, “I took the money. I took money from all of us. I pooled everything I took into one account under Hannes’ name and gave myself executive powers. You haven’t lost all of your clients because I merely have to call a few numbers and you’ll be working, maybe not raking in cash, but working constantly. “

She turned around, tears rolling down her face, “What? What are you talking about?!” His hands were shaking, eyes bloodshot, “I’m saying that I’ve planned for this and I’ve taken care of as much as I can!” She stared and then it hit her.

Every transaction was a trojan horse.

She moved to the side, “You….but the accounts are frozen.” He started to laugh, clearly sounding like he was going insane, “I froze them!” He chuckled, extending his arms out, “I just took money, froze them in the name of the law firm, and then kept the liquid funds in the dummy accounts. I have dummies for dummies. The only person or persons that probably could even get some of that frozen liquidity out is vati or daddy.”

”I want this apartment.” She was scared. She was so scared. It was always she who saw through him and figured out his webs but now she was in one, “I just…” She looked around, “You went to Zackly after finding out he could get you into the firm. You must have followed him, stalked him, and found out he has a penchant for good looking men and women. You slept with him. That’s how this started. Then you used the apartment to get all the necessary banking information and that’s when you hacked into the accounts and...you must have ensured that the purchases would leave traces that you could follow back to open up…” Her voice trailed off.

“Lore….I’m going to use the money I took from everyone to pay for a lawsuit.” She shook her head and sat down on the couch, “No, stop.” He moved around to the front of the island, “And that’s going to act as a main goal. But, I went to Zackly for more than just what you think. I wanted information. I have information on Rod Reiss that I can use to blackmail him.” She held her hands up, “If you fail, Yoni! If you fail we’re all going to be targets.”

He started to break down, “We already are, baby. They’re putting elected officials in jail. They’ll probably come for my father.” She was crying hard now, “My aba!” She held her face in her hands and he fell to his knees, “I’m going to make it better. Please, please stop crying! I can’t handle it when you cry! I can’t stand it!’ He reached out to her and she swatted him away, “Instead of telling me the truth you just hired me to do this apartment so I’d have work! My God, I was just charity! That’s how you go into my account!” 

He grew very still and she tried to pull herself together. Her voice was quiet, somewhat disappointed and that surprised even herself, “This was just a distraction.”

Yoni didn’t say anything for a bit. There was only silence and sniffles. Then, his hands shot up to cup her face, “I never had any intention of buying you out for this apartment. It was a lie. I saved you for last for an important reason and I wanted you to decorate this apartment with both of us in mind for another important reason. I have done everything for one reason: You.” “I want you to move in with me and live in this apartment. I want to wake up to you every morning of my life and listen to you huff at the interesting parts of the Jerusalem Newspaper. I want you to have work, to be successful and independent because I know that’s the key to making you happy. I want to give you everything in the world and be everything you want in a man. I have loved you my entire life and I don’t understand any other love than this love. I want a relationship with you, I want a marriage with you, I want kids with you, and I want to die before you because I never want to know a world without you.”

She wanted to call him a liar but he was so sincere. He was smiling, tears in his eyes, blushing. He wasn’t lying. She could then see other things. He was tired, shaking, upset, worried, frustrated, and more. She thought about their life and how they’d always been naturally a perfect match. He had left notes everywhere in their lives. Why had she not seen them? The way he picked at her wasn’t the same as Tuvia. The gifts were so thoughtful. The notes had increasingly become more bold as they got older and he didn’t just leave them on gifts but everywhere in her purse, office, car, lunch boxes, books, and more. He’d just been too shy to actually say it.

“Why were you so shy?” He looked at her seriously, “You only get one chance to tell the girl you’re hopelessly in love with that you love her. Timing is everything, Lore. It had to be right. I even pulled out the engagement ring I’d always wanted to propose to you with because I was worried I would have failed and we would have lost everything. If you’d ever consider giving me a chance I’d be the happiest man in the world. Even if not, I now must selfishly ask for your strength and help. You are my rock. You keep me grounded and you challenge me. I am truly nothing without you as my catalyst.”

She moved down into his arms, “You really love me?” He looked at her, “It has never been a question. I have loved you so effortlessly that as we grew older I only in moments of jealousy really understood the fear that lurked in the depths of my heart. That fear of losing you spurred me on and made me try to become the man I am today, the man I hoped you'd be proud of. We have never been on one official date, we’ve never had a one night stand, and I don’t even care. I want you and know that I burn for you, pine for you, and love only you.”

She smoothed his hair back, “Wow,” she whispered, “I feel so dumb because...I never thought you meant any of it but it’s all been there. I’ve never….how have I never noticed?” He laughed shortly, “Well, Judah and Nikko always said you just never saw yourself being with anyone in the family. Also, you’re like Mikasa sometimes and spot on but with relationships your like David and a little bad at them in general. But, you’ve never been bad with me, if you think about it. Tuvia says I drive you insane and yet you can’t get enough. You definitely keep me on my toes and you calm me down. I think of how my actions would affect you before I ever do anything.”

“Really?”

“Honest.”

She was so touched. She was on fire. She moved his face closer, “Soul meets soul on lovers' lips."

She kissed him and it was fire.

*

Lore and Yoni were hot and heavy as they moved against one another in the [bedroom](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/7e/8f/6b/7e8f6bcd2933f4e4178ef6f5fae60922.jpg). She whined as he kissed between her thighs and smoothed his hands along her sides and waist. She liked when he was strong and pushed her on her stomach, hands pushing and massaging her back as he moved between her legs and pulled her hips up. His mouth moved along her spine and his hands slid around to cup her breasts.

He covered her wonderfully and made her feel safe and somehow free.

She loved how he took care of her first before himself.

He was an entirely different Yoni.

No, that wasn’t completely true. He was Yonatan, raw and sincere. He was himself like when they were children and his innocence made her really love him. They were two halves of a whole. How had she been so blind?

*

When they woke up the next morning Yoni was smiling, “I can’t believe I slept with Hannahlore Lavie. If your brother found out I’d be dead!” She laughed, “Is that why you didn’t make a move for so long?” He was quiet, “Yeah, actually it was a big part. He’d have prevented everything I tried to do.” She smiled, “What?” Yoni covered his face, “Your brother has been cock blocking me and making me work for it for years. He hacked into my account one time to check and see if I was saving appropriately and if I was “reckless” with my money like daddy.” She laughed shortly, “You are.” He grinned, “Yeah, he was not pleased.”

Yoni got up, “I’ll make breakfast.” She laid in the bed and enjoyed the blissful early morning and smelled the eggs. She thought about how perfectly the apartment came together for the both of them and how Yoni had derailed his plans to always take care of her. She wanted nothing more than to repay him for all he’d done.

She got up, changed, and then when she walked out she froze. Men were pouring into her house and there were papers and machines brought in. She stood there, scantily clad and Yoni turned around, “The firm isn't safe. But, I have good news! WE'RE GOING TO TAKE IT TO COURT!” She watched as they paused to look at her and then they all started talking and grinning at Yoni. He platted their breakfast and brought it to her, “Let's eat in the bedroom and then we'll have to head to Maria and tell the family what's going on.”

Hannahlore and Yoni ate, showered, kissed, and then drove to Maria. She held his hand and smiled, “I'm smiling but I have a horrible feeling.” He gave her hand a squeeze, “I hope you’re wrong.” She smirked, “Let’s get one thing straight, I am-” He cut her off, “Never wrong. I know.” She nodded, “Exactly.”

They pulled off onto their exit and there were military vehicles blocking them. They got back on and went to the next but it was the same. The third was also blocked and Yoni started to panic. He waited and watched them. When the officer pulled up he rolled the window down, “Name?” 

Yoni paused, “Yonatan Smith.” The man went down a list on his phone, “You’re going to come with us.” Yoni gripped the steering wheel, “No. Not without an arrest warrant dated within a believable amount of time and proof of a committed crime.” The man frowned and she grit her teeth, “Sir, you need-” There was an explosion at a car lot and Yoni took his chance in the hectic situation to run past the barrier.

She held on and he spun out when his tires hit the pavement. Her breath hitched as he narrowly escaped a few iron barrels on the road. Taking only back roads out to the house, they saw with the beginnings of something horrible. He parked and she was shaking, “Momma and Aba….Are they here?” She looked around and he eventually pointed to David’s car, “There.” She calmed down.

He didn’t. The panic for his father was rising.

***

That previous night Levi had opened a bottle of scotch and moved into Erwin’s lap, “Old man, how do you look so good?” He kissed him slowly, mouth open, hips circling, “And you even smell good after a long day's work.” Erwin’s hands rested on his ass as Levi rolled his hips and stomach. It was sensual and heady, “Fuck, Commander, I need to be punished for giving into thoughts of defeatism.”

Erwin kissed him back with equal passion, slapping his ass a few good times before taking Levi’s shirt off, “Captain, this may be our last mission.” Levi refused to hear him and pushed him over on the couch. He straddled him and sat back looking down, “Shut your shitty mouth.”

Erwin reached up to stroke his face, “They're coming.” Levi’s eyes burned. His hand covered Erwin’s on his face, “They're not going to be the only ones.” He surged forward, lips covering his, Erwin’s hands pulled Levi’s pants and his own unclothed Erwin. He smirked, “I should top you more.”

Erwin chuckled, “Not this time, please. I want you the way I remember you. Hips snapping delightfully and that look you make when my cock slides all the way in down to the base.” Levi moaned slightly as Erwin’s hands roughly grabbed the base of his hair. 

When Levi slicked Erwin’s massive cock he smiled, “Sometimes I'd think of killing you and remember that this was your best feature.” Erwin was breathing ragged while he teased him. He managed a weak smile and then groaned, “Levi, don't tease me so much.”” Levi sat up on his knees, body toned and glorious, “I think I should have just had a cast made and then killed you. I wouldn't be worried about tomorrow if I had.” He started to slide down, feeling how Erwin stretched him and filled him. He loved it, his face showed it, “Levi, you always were a secret little cock slut.”

Levi laughed shortly, bending over to kiss him, “You always were obsessed with me.”

*

The letter had come and then an announcement over the news, “They...they….can’t.” Armin sat down on the seat in the office and Eren threw up in the waste basket as it set into everyone’s mind in the silence. “Baby, if I resist then it’ll be worse. They’ve made it so public, _we’re so public._ ” Levi was silent, tears rolling down his cheeks. Armin laid down on the couch, chest tight, head light, “No….Nooooooooooooo.”

Erwin stood up, “Don’t tell the kids till I’ve arranged everything. Baby, I need you to go to the bank and take care of things there. Eren, go to work, don’t think about it and just make sure the animals that can be sent home are and those that can’t are taken care of. Levi, just help me pick out a suite to go to jail in, have some tea, and break something.” He stood up and left the room. They were all in shock.

Eren went to work. He headed to the back where Ezra stood wiping his face over the large sinks in the back. Eren touched his shoulder, “What’s wrong?” Ezra turned around, “They’re going to take daddy….take everyone. They’re going to the hospital, I know they will.” Eren frowned, blood running cold, “What?” Ezra pushed him off of him, “They’ll go to the hospital.” Eren was confused, “HOW DO YOU KNOW!?” Ezra turned slamming the cart into the wall with surgical equipment falling on the concret, “BECAUSE I KNOW!”

Eren turned to walk back out and he ran from the clinic across the yard, across the road, and all the way up to their door. “Levi! Levi! Let’s go to the hospital, now!” Levi came running down the stairs, “Why?” Eren pulled him out, “I don’t know. Ezra said something might happen. I believe him.” They drove over to the hospital at break neck speed.

*

She was screaming as they drug her on the floor, her shoes every now and then squeaking as rubber hit tile. Vadimas tried to pry her off as they pulled him along the corridor. Oskar had been taken out of surgery by force, the patient shot on the table, “THAT PATIENT DIED! HOW COULD YOU!” They’d hit him and knocked him out, placing his body on a gurney. Vadimas was pleading with her, “Hannahleh, you have to let go or they’ll take you!” She was screaming, “NO!” A man hit her, “Bring the bitch.”

Hanji was pulled along with Vadimas and thrown into the truck. She checked Oskar’s pulse and Vadimas tried to persuade them to let her go till they hit him. Blood ran down his head. She laid on Oskar’s chest and tried to think of way out of this mess. He groaned, slightly waking up but never staying conscience long enough. She kissed him, “Vadimas, please watch out for him if we’re separated.” The van pulled up to a military outpost and they were shoved inside small portable metal containers. 

It was hot, hardly any air moved inside and no one had any room. She propped Oskar up and stood with Vadimas but his injury was making him sway on his feet, “The heat is bad, Hannah.” She stared and started to feel the sweat run down her back. She felt sick with the realization that not everyone would make it out alive from this container. The heat was already separating the weak from the strong. She turned to see Oskar coming back in, “The…..pa….” She shushed him, “Just wait a little longer.” She held his face in her hands, “Patient…” She shook her head, “No, I’m sorry. They died.”

Oskar’s face fell, “Oh, God.” She stroked his features gently, “We have to be mean, Oskar. We have to be ready to fight. This is going to be hard.” He looked at Vadimas and then around the container, “How many are in here?” She shrugged, “Forty people?” The door opened and more were pushed in, “Well, they seem to be intent on putting more in.” She moved closer to them and Vadimas. She had them wedged in the corner. When they got up to 120 people were already dying.

She thought about Mila.

_I just want to see you again._

*

Eren and Levi locked the labs up and had who they could barricade entrances and lock the hospital down. The fact that patients had been taken from their beds and taken out into vans without IVs and other supporting materials ensured at least a 20 percent death rate. Levi was searching frantically for Hanji but couldn’t find her. “Eren….Eren I have to get her back.” He was shaking and Eren understood, “We will.”

They got back to the house and tried to call her phone but all of the lines were busy or went straight to voicemail. Cesare and Bellamy appeared, “Bianca can’t come from the airport. Dad and Papa want to go get her but Keita says someone will get her from the embassy and send her to a hotel for her safety.” David and Mikasa came in, rushed and upset, “We heard the news and then David got a letter as well. They’re going to come for him, too.” Mikasa was distraught and Eren could tell. Despite her calm exterior she was terrified, “We’ll lock him in the panic room.” David stared and she only waited for a split second, “Do it.” David was against it but Eren didn’t let her have any time to think about it.

*

They woke up and tried to get everyone they knew and cared about to come to the house for safety. They didn’t know where Yoni and Hannahlore were but Bianca said that last she spoke with Hannahlore was a text stating she was going back to the apartment to call it a night. It was assumed Yoni was with her or at the firm. Either way, no one knew where Hanji, Vadimas, or Oskar were.

Bellamy, who’d not been home for more than a week, ran into Ezra getting in his car, “I don’t know where they took them but we have to try and figure it out. Maybe something will come to me.” Cesare was getting into the passenger seat and Bellamy hoped in the back.

Gio was pulling up with Sasha, Connie, and Europa. They were running into the house, “Where are you idiots going!?” Sasha yelled as they shut the doors and pulled off. Ezra hit the gas and Cesare held his normally spiteful tongue about his reckless driving.

*

Yoni and Hannahlore ran inside of the house and found it to be completely calm and quiet. Everyone was dressed well. Tea was being made, coffee had been made. There was a small amount of finger foods that had been picked over. Mikasa stood up and hugged her to her, “I love you but you should have stayed somewhere far from here.” She looked around, “Why?” 

Levi had a glass of wine and his arm was around Eren protectively, “They’ve asked that we all be brought into custody.” Marco and Jean stood in the corner. Jean looked like he might vomit, “But, not us. We can hide you at our house, say you never came.” Levi wasn’t moved, “They’ll tear this entire place apart. You won’t be allowed to stay either.” Maxim and Ilya held hands by the piano.

“Will you look after Alexi and Lilly in Russia?” Maxim was crying. Marco wanted to scream, “Of course. You never have to ask. We’re family.” Hannahlore looked over and saw Judah, eyes red and bloodshot. She couldn't believe he was there, “Judah?” 

Levi and Eren called to him, _**“Run.”**_

His head snapped up, “What?” Levi was getting too emotional so Eren continued, “Going quietly was never meant for you. Run, find the others and live. Take Yoni and Lore. Only you could get them to safety.”

Judah took a deep breath, “Baba….I can’t leave you and Aba here. I need to do something.” Levi shook his head, “You need to take care of your sister.” Armin appealed to him, “Leave, do what we say. Take them and go far away. You have to do this, Judah.” Erwin smiled sadly, “You're stronger than any of us. I love you. Live and help my son make it in one piece.”

Judah was visibly upset so Armin went to him and took his face between his hands, “They’re going to take us away. You are going to leave here and take them with you and use all those seedy connections you have to get them to Europe. You’re going to do this and go to the apartment in France and there, in the kitchen, behind the refrigerator, there is a safe. Open that safe. You’re smart and will figure it out. Judah, I love you. We love you.” He paused and let it sink in a bit further, “Vati...I don’t want to leave you.” Armin kissed his forehead, “You were born to survive. Go.”

He pushed him away and they kissed and hugged him and Yoni and Hannahlore They moved to grab different clothes and shoes. They met back downstairs and Judah was being kissed by Eren while Levi cried and clutched his hand pitifully. They went to the backyard and started to run into the forest away from the house.

***

They would come and take out the dead bodies and tag them. She was worried that Vadimas’ head injury was a concussion. Oskar kept him talking but Oskar needed sleep, he needed an EKG because he sometimes complained of heart trouble. She had taken her jacket off, her shirt, and her skirt. She only had her compression shorts on and bra, “Well, just so you know, I must eat crow.” She turned to him, “What?” He gave a short laugh, “That investment in fancy sport bras because real bras were uncomfortable to wear all day at the hospital was worth it. You look amazing. We all look like wet schmucks.” He laughed and she adored him, “Yeah, when we get out buy me some more.” He kissed her, “I love you.” She smiled.

“I love you too, Oskar. Thank-....Thank you for being my partner for the last ten years. Thank you for loving me and Mila.” He wiped a tear from her cheek, “Loving you has been an honor.”

Vadimas smiled and started to fade away. At least his little Hannahleh was happy.

It was quiet, save from the moans of the others who were dying. They’d come in and stabbed people randomly to speed up the process of them dying. Apparently, from what they could hear, they had a limit on those they could take for deportation. Where were they going to deport them to? It didn’t make sense but it didn’t really have to.

She heard some yelling but that had become normal over the past 24 hours. Then there were gunshots but that, too, had become normal. She was overheated, hungry, but more than anything she was desperately thirsty. 

Oskar pulled her closer, “My mother had hair like yours. It was something I always loved and when I think about my childhood I remember her leaning over me and hiding me in it. She had an amazing laugh, so sweet like a little bird. Mila has a similar laugh and when I first heard her in the hallway of the hospital laughing and showing Nikko the new thing she’d found I fell in love with her.”

The yelling increased, and now there was rapid gunfire, screams, the metal pinged from bullets whizzing by. She thought it was going to be the end. He kept talking, “Vadimas noticed that I was enraptured by you. I’d been pulling your work up and reading about what you’d done. Your accomplishments made me more interested in you. You’re mind was unique and it spanned across all of the experiments in such a beautifully cataclysmic way. But, then he pushed me more and gave me access to your likes from when you lived in Lithuania.”

Many were now covering their ears and holding onto one another. Vadimas could barely stay awake and she panicked he’d die. She also thought that was ridiculous because clearly they were all going to die. This was it, the purge. “You smelled so sweet every time I walked past you. I’d hear Levi complain about your hygiene and I would smile to myself. Clearly, he and I thought you were just fine the way you were. Sometimes, when I wake up in the morning and you’re there, I think of this window box an old woman had in Transylvania. She had mint and all sorts of flowers and herbs that somehow mixed and made this distinct smell that made me pause on the street every time I passed. I’d close my eyes and just enjoy the delightful aroma because in the day I wasn’t allowed to walk the streets and see their colors in all their vibrant beauty.”

He looked at her, their metal door screeching as the container shook. This was the end, “But, Hanji, even in the dark I can see your beauty in all of it’s multicolored splendor. I have loved you like I have loved my childhood, my mother, that window box: immediately and irrevocably.” The door opened and everyone screamed as the men walked in, “OUT! OUT! OUT!”

A few people trampled on Vadimas and she jumped over to try and protect him with her own body. “Hanji!?” She knew that voice but she was too concerned and tried to do much. Their strength was almost gone. She was grabbed up kicking and screaming, “NO! VADIMAS! OSKAR!” She was pulled into the light of day and it burned her eyes. 

She was quickly taken along with Oskar and Vadimas to a familiar car. Ezra threw them in, “We have to go now. I’m sorry. I know you’re all hurt but they put Maria under martial law and we've been searching for hours and fighting our way everywhere.” 

She was pressed in the back with Bellamy taking care of Vadimas. Oskar grabbed a bottle of gatorade that was rolling around the back of Ezra’s car. He opened it and gave the first part to Vadimas. She loved how selfless he was. When he offered it to her, she took some but quickly returned to him. “Is it safe to be driving?” 

Cesare turned around, “No, we need to get home as soon as possible.” He drove through the woods at one point, the jeep rocking and creaking over the rocks and branches. Cesare reached out and grabbed his hand, “Ezra! Careful! That’s a huge trunk!” Ezra kept on, Cesare’s hand moved to his wrist, “Please….it’s dangerous on your side where the branches are getting lower.”

When they got to the house and unloaded, Hanji was carried inside by Bellamy. Levi rushed to her and grabbed her, “Hanji, Hanji! No….take them upstairs to the panic room! You get in there too!” They were all so confused and then Armin quickly filled them in to their horror.

Apparently, they were all too influential and too close to Erwin. The net had been cast wide and they’d been scooped up. Zadkiel wasn’t in the town currently so he was covered. They were told Judah, Hannahlore, and Yoni were all sent away but there wasn’t enough time for them because they were coming to get them any minute. Ezra was furious and so was Cesare, “What?! WHY AREN'T WE FIGHTING THEM?!”

They were pushed into the panic room and Ezra was left with instructions to take care of Hanji and the others. Levi paused and took his face in his hands, “You were my little Eren and I loved you intensely from the moment I held you till now and I will never stop even if I die. I wrote letters to you and your siblings and put them in here. Armin did the same for his children. We don't know what will happen. We have no security and have planned for that. Your Baba and I love you so much. You and your siblings were the greatest dream I've ever had that came true. You are my everything.”

After more goodbyes the door closed and the families felt broken. Sasha and Connie had taken themselves and Europa over to Jean and Marco’s house. They'd stay there till it was over. Jean wouldn't budge, he'd stay till the end. Marco agreed. Bellamy and Cesare were locked up with the others because their parents knew how hard headed they were. David was still separated but that made Mikasa happy. She'd never lose someone again.

There was pounding on the doors and Armin pressed his face into Erwin’s chest, “Please, I love you.” Levi’s eyes were looking at something far away. He then moved his head to the side to look at their family photos on the walls. Gisela’s smile, Nikko’s smile, and the others. He wished he could have seen them before they came. The door open, hinges knocked off, “Come out with your hands up where we can see them!” Eren kissed him. He kissed Mikasa, too. 

It doesn't matter, learning about the past. It always repeats. Those who are most tortured are the ones that see the tragic routine preparing for another go and must watch their fellow man take part. 

They walked outside, the sun was setting. It was colder now. Spring meant hot days and frigid nights here. There were at least 40 men with guns trained on them. They didn't have a chance in hell of fighting. They were old, soft, and had let peace saturate their souls. There were names called out, checks of IDs. Armin looked at his wedding ring as it was ripped off. Levi knew it was a fake. The real one in the panic room safe.

There was silence. 

The sun sank fully. 

The wind blew. 

The earth groaned. 

The shadows over grew the landscape. 

***

The phone rang sharply in the office and he picked it up, “Hello?” There was a long pause, his face grew pale and his neck red. He hung up and spread his hands out on the papers of his desk, “Maria? Call my staff. There's a problem in Alabama.”

*

The men were all huddled around the table, “I want to know what's in it!” They didn't speak, “Well, we can't get that information yet. Some of the judges are blocking us.” He was furious, “BLOCKING?! HOW!?” The man bowed to avoid the onslaught of words, “Shadis. Pixis must have gotten to him and Shadis has convinced others on the supreme court to block us.” 

He wanted to destroy the world, “And how did this even get here!? I ORDERED A BOYCOTT!” The other man looked up, “It didn't come from Maria.” The woman from earlier appeared, “Rod….Dr. Zackly is on the phone….” Rod Reiss’ blood was simultaneously boiling and freezing at the same time, “Tell him not-” She shook from fear, “No...you have to take this.”

Maria was the only woman who cared about what happened to Rod Reiss and for good reason. She hated his policies and what he was doing but she cared for him in an almost motherly way. Rod took the phone and Zackly showed him just how dangerous he really could be. 

***

Krista and Ymir pulled up as the officers were pointing their guns at them, “No! STOP! STOP! THE ORDER FOR EXECUTION WILL NOT STAND! I WON'T LET IT!” Her red cross armband high and sloppy on her arm. She moved in front of them going down the line pushing guns away, “If you shoot them, you'll have to shoot me.” She stood defiantly and Ymir looked cool as pressed metal. 

“With all due respect ma’am. We have orders.” She grit her jaw, “And I as a senator canceled that order. Mr. Smith is also a senator. You cannot remove him.” They were torn. Levi and Erwin were exchanging glances. “Ma’am….you ca-” There was a molotov cocktail thrown on the jeep and gunshots. Levi threw Eren on the ground and Erwin did the same with Armin. They all huddled towards the walls of the porch, soldiers ran up towards them and dropped one by one till they were dead. Ymir had pulled Krista around one of the cars and was protecting her with her body.

There was yelling, the leader of the soldiers captured. Judah, Yoni, and Hannahlore were there. Citizens started to come out of the woods surrounding the house in a circle. The fighting continued till they swarmed the remaining soldiers, weapons in hand, guns, and fire. Soon, much like a blur for the family on the porch, the men were dead and only the civilians were left. A few walked forward, “We refuse to take part in the hateful discrimination that many in the country are embracing with open arms. You are the most influential family in Maria. You have made us a better place, our children have the brightest futures. We will support you and each other. We will help protect you till the suit is proposed and the supreme court makes its decision.”

Erwin stood shakily, he moved to shield Armin with his body, “I don’t understand.” Malcolm Homer stood straighter, “Your boy, Yoni, he told us about his suit that’s been given to the supreme court. They've decided to take it up. We just want you to know, that we’re going to do everything we can as a city to protect and back your family and policies. We’ve decided to become a ghetto by choice, with you as our leader and representative. We also want to impeach the current governor.”

Erwin’s head was spinning, “I like the sound of it all but I just don’t understand. We’ve got to worry about our people who were taken from the hospital, we have to secure the city, we have to secure our homes.” Malcolm smiled, “Already done. We now need to keep the momentum and find a way to remove him. He clearly is not for us, the people of Maria.” The governor was a retired Minister named Nicholas, Saint Nick or just Nick, who had a serious love of establishment politics and Rod Reiss. He was the main proponent to these laws being enforced as seriously as they were now.

They all hated him but Hanji really wanted to fuck him over because of the issues she’d had with Vadimas working in the hospital. Judah started to tell civilians what to do and Levi assisted. Eren tried to help where he could and Armin started to fill in for Erwin while Yoni spoke with him. Hannahlore opened the door to the panic room and found her father, “Aba!” David hugged her, crying, “My Lore, thank God.”

*

Over the next few days the city held off any attempts of martial law and due to the resourcefulness of Erwin and his family all of these years they were doing well on resources. Students even decided to stay, returning to classes and maintaining a normal routine. They may be a ghetto, but leaving wasn’t a problem. Getting in was where one had to be smart. Soon, Bellamy came up with a system of categorizing civilians and students. There was influx of people who were seeking refuge from persecution and that had to be taken care of. The last thing they needed was the routine disrupted and the civilians to feel the pressure too soon.

Yoni called and had Bianca transferred to the ghetto while making frequent trips under the protection of some shady friends of Maxim and Ilya’s that had come over from Russia when he was younger. Judah seemed aggravated and frustrated that he’d offered his club as a place to house those who were in need of refuge but soon he realized it was because if affected his workers and he cared.

Judah actually really did have a heart. Zev was obsessed with it.

When Yoni returned from the apartment Hannahlore was waiting for him and kissed him, “I missed you.” He kissed her longer, softer, “I missed you.” Judah snorted and made a vomiting noise as he came out of the kitchen in his boxers, “Ugh are you two finally dating?” Yoni and Hannahlore both nodded and he rolled his eyes, “Mazel tov.” He’d still not heard from his sister and he was suffering from a stomach ulcer. Armin would have him lay his head in his lap while he stroked his hair and lathered him with attention only vati could give.

Hannahlore held Yoni’s hand, “What did they say?” He shrugged but smiled, “Pixas apparently had Shadis in his phone book.” She smiled and laughed, “I love that man.” He kissed her, “It’s going to go to court, baby. I know it will.” She pressed her head into his chest, “Good, I want our lives back and our family safe.” Yoni pulled her closer, “Come to bed with me.” She hummed, “That’s rather forward. Before you start positioning your case your father wants to speak to you.” She pushed him away and he pulled her hair. She slapped him and he popped her butt, “Booty booty poppin everywhere. Booty Booty poppin here and there!” 

“Those are NOT the lyrics!”

He laughed, “Who cares?!”

She went up the stairs, “I’ll be in your room.”

Yoni went in search of his father. Erwin was in the joint office, Eren in his lap with his chin on his shoulder embracing him, “Honey, I need to talk to Yoni.” Eren pouted, “No! I’m comfortable and I love you.” Yoni laughed and Erwin rubbed his back and kissed the side of his face, “Do you mind if your baba is here while I interrogate you?” Yoni nodded, “I don’t mind.” Erwin sighed and thought about where to start, “How did you get Rod Reiss to call off the martial law?” He stared, “Krista said-” 

”She’s a liar.”

Yoni grinned, “Even the officer was going to call her on it.”

“She somehow found out about Rod getting a phone call. If I’m as loved as it appears I am, then she’d wanted to make a speech and spectacle to make herself look good. Why? Because she knew they’d want to impeach the governor and she wants that job as well. So, what on earth was that phone call about and who made it?” Yoni rubbed his arms, “I went to Zackly. He made the call.” Erwin smiled and chuckled, “I want to beat your ass right now.”

Yoni started to laugh, “I know. But, I think I’m just doing something that you’d have done in your youth.” Eren started to laugh hardcore, “Oh he’s got you!” Erwin popped Eren, “Hush, you know nothing.” Eren grinned, “I know everything!” Yoni grew serious, “I think that we need to give the people what they want. You should run for governor.” Erwin shook his head, “No. It would take away any chance I have to travel like I do and as a senator I have just the right amount of say and power that I crave. I’ll be presenting in the case against the governor and I’ll also be endorsing a new one.”

Yoni waited nervously, “I’m not old enough.” Erwin smiled, “No and isn’t that the problem? Wouldn’t it be nice if we had someone who was and could merely hold the position until you were 30?” Yoni paused, “Who would do that?” Erwin smiled, “Zackly did that for me in regards to the school. He could do that now for you but with the state.” Yoni grinned, “This is not very democratic, daddy.” Erwin nodded, “Yes, but that’s the Smith way. We do what we must to get what we want and what we do want is normally what’s best for humanity. Think it over, talk with vati. Talk with Levi. Talk with Lore since she’s always been your go-to….”

There was silence in the room as Eren and Erwin stared.

Yoni swallowed, “I’ll do that.”

He got up and left the room. Eren pouted, “I wanted him to tell us what was going on between them.” Erwin kissed his neck, “I know. But, now I’d really like to see you in my bed.” Eren started to smugly and amusedly chuckle.

***

He smoothed his hand around her stomach to pull her closer. His eyes were closed and he was praying. She stood stoically and prepared herself for the verdict, “Charges of impeachment have been brought against Governor Nick. and we the jury find him guilty.” Hanji jumped up fist pumping while Oskar smiled reserved from the bench. Nick was aghast, “THIS IS FRAUD, SLANDER, AND ALL A CREATION OF THE SMITH FAMILY!!” But, that wasn’t true. Yoni had gone back to bed almost three months ago and Lore had pulled him in and kissed him senseless.

“Should I do it?” She kissed his throat, moved him on his back and straddled him. Her nails scraped slightly on his chest making him shiver, “You should.” He tried to not lose focus, “Why?” She paused and looked him in the eye, “Because I want us to be successful. I want you to have this and be everything you can be. We’re not the humble couple, Yoni. We want success and pomp and circumstance. Don’t get weak now. You’re qualified. I wouldn't suggest this if you were not.” He started to laugh, “Oh God, Lore. We’re perfect for each other.” She kissed him, “I know. Tuvia was always right.”

They’d gone to Zackly and asked what he had on the governor. “Well, Erwin, I have….actually rather horrible things on him.” Erwin grinned, “I’d love to see.” Yoni held Lore’s hand while they listened and were shown the pictures and other evidence. She suggested that the evidence be submitted through others and not Zackly. If it came to light he’d submitted it, then it might ruin the endorsement. She had good ideas and perspectives. Yoni fell deeper in love with her.

The evidence was submitted by Pixis because no one would ever question him. The supreme court was preparing their case and the lawyers at the firm were working constantly. They were being paid by civilians who opposed the racial and religious tyranny being imposed on them. Krista offered her public support as well and she even contributed large amounts of funds.

Many said it couldn’t be done. Raising money and coming together had failed in the past many times over. The nation was torn, the nation was a wound with salt in it.

Nick had been sexually assaulting his workers and had two affairs with different women in the governor's mansion. Yoni offered the women representation if they filed a class action. Judah would help him crunch numbers late at night while he put Gisela on skype and enjoyed spending time even in silence with her. He was thankful for the help. Levi also stopped by to kiss his son all over and check his work.

Yoni sometimes would wake up with his face on papers but Lore would either be there to take him to bed or his vati. Armin would take a look at things and give his advice. Erwin was sitting with Yoni when Armin left one day and he laughed, “You know, you always told me to marry someone like vati and I think that’s Hannahlore.” Erwin looked at him, “How is she like Armin?” Yoni shrugged, “They give great advice.” He snorted, “That’s actually the best point you could have made because I would be nowhere without your vati.”

When Nick was taken to jail there was almost a conclave that occurred looking for an interim Governor. None of the other branch representatives were suitable since they were also corrupt and facing charges but when Erwin stepped up the room fell silent. A man stood up, “Are you casting your name, Mr. Smith?!” There was a happy chatter that consumed the masses. Erwin smiled and looked like an unaged handsome army commander from a Hollywood film, “No, no. Not yet. I’m very happy with Maria. It’s my family. But, I would like to nominate a fine citizen that served Maria well and has been an inspiration to the university and he has offered guidance and advice to so many in our town and inner circles: Dr. Zackly.” He watched as some believed him no matter what, others resisted naturally, and then there were those who were unsure and he knew he could sway them.

Yoni was with him to meet contacts and work the room. Hannahlore showed up to the cocktail hour and the men noted that their wives were in need of decor expertise. A few mentioned that their wives loved her shop. That was keeping her afloat right now but she didn’t let on how desperate she was. Yoni and Lore were the power couple and they were also the ones with the most to lose. Yoni needed the suit to win, the payout to be substantial, and to replace the money he took from all of his relatives.

*

”Nine months….Nine long months….” He said nervously and in awe. She smiled, “It’s our baby.” He eventually came around and smiled too, “Well, let’s find out if it’s a celebration of the birth of renewed freedom or the stillbirth of progressivism.” They entered the halls of the courtroom in Washington DC. Levi had managed to get the plane back and they’d flown up for the case hearing. The ghettos in the north were silent but ready. If this didn’t pass and these laws be declared as unjust and in violation of the constitution, there would be riots that the country would not survive. 

Tuvia called from Poland. He’d gone to see Marco and Jean in Italy. He’d seen as many of the other kids as possible but Alexi and Lilly were bunkered down in Russia for finals. Europa been sent to boarding school in Italy near Marco’s family. Tuvia said she was doing well. Sasha and Connie didn’t want their daughter here while the country was this hostile. 

He told his brother he loved him and that he was proud of what he’d done, “Yoni, you’ve stood up against injustice. I love you and I am more than proud that you are my brother. Now, tell Lore I said I love her and miss her and how about you put a ring on it before she wakes up and realizes she can’t tolerate hair pulling and mind games for the rest of her life.”

He looked at her in her beautiful [dress](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/9a/29/39/9a29395a55dcb5bf417f4e668115d2e3.jpg). She was poised and proud of her heritage wearing her US and Israel pin. Lore was strong in silence and calm in chaos. “Regardless if we lose or win, we will act respectable and remember that this is bigger than us and it doesn’t stop after us or after this hopeful win.” He’d kissed her, pushed her on the bed, hiked her dress up around her stomach and pulled her panties off his rough hands. He’d enjoyed tasting her, sucking her, and the feeling of her holding his head between her thighs tightly as she came.

Now he was looking at her and thinking about if they failed. _Would they come for her and not me? What would they do to her if they got her?_

High profile people like them were the first targets of this regimes’ hate.

Rod was sitting in on the verdict with security all around him.

They waited for the reading.

“In regards to the laws of racial, ethnic, and gender minority of which are too countless to name all by their rightful names and will as such be referred to as the number amounting to 132 the supreme court has found that these laws are, in fact, in violation of the constitution, constitutional amendments, the inalienable rights of peoples, and are in the opinion of those on the bench ripping this country apart at the very seams and shall hereto be revoked effective in the next twelve hours at all federal and state levels. Anyone who seeks to impede this will, for the first time in this court’s history, be jailed for hate crime and attempt to deny constitutional rights of those affected. Let that be a warning to all who are displeased by this decision. If you buck us, we’ll fuck you.” Shadis closed the book and there were massive boos at his use of language and for the harsh reprimand that would come with breaking this law.

It was more than a moment before the others remembered to breathe. They’d been fighting for almost a year, they’d had two high profile cases that had cost them almost 100 million dollars, they’d become a ghetto, suffered martial law, had their civilians picked off outside of their city limits, and they’d been trailed and threatened the entire time. Lore had had a bomb put in her car. Armin had nearly been shot. Levi and Eren were attacked in Atlanta. But now, now they’d won.

And Rod Reiss made eye contact with him.

He’d made a very vindictive enemy.

*

They were celebrating on the streets in the DC ghetto. 

She was drunk and laughing as a man danced in a tutu.

There were barrels with fire in them that people gathered around to warm their hands and hug.

She was crying from joy.

He stopped and fell to his knees.

She turned around, “Yoni?”

He had the [ring](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e2/1b/a8/e21ba802c58ffc4fc6788bc78a6cb271.jpg) out, “They say true love stories never have endings. So, please, Lore, spend the rest of forever with me and don’t let the story end here.”

*

She showed the ring off to him on skype and he smiled, “Finally.” She laughed, “I’m kind of sad.” He frowned, “Why?” She looked around, “I had a miscarriage.” He looked upset, “Lore, I’m sorry. How far along were you?” She shrugged, “Maybe seven or eight weeks. It’s just the body’s way of saying it wasn’t right but I was looking forward to having a kid with Yoni.” He smiled, “Well, you can get married and have all the kids you want.”

She looked over at him sleeping in the bed. He was snoring slightly, he looked like his father but much younger, “He’s pretty handsome.” He scoffed, “I’m handsome.” She giggled, “True. But, he’s mine.”


	167. Yeager with a Y

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long. I've been traveling, school is starting back, writing for the other fic, and I've been really sick. Like, really sick to the point I start writing and almost fall over from fatigue. This one clocks in at about 36,942 words so hopefully you'll like it and it'll have been worth it.

[Ezra](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/86/4f/78/864f7898ca2d02b0d342f5ec0a972c23.jpg) and [Cesare](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ff/5a/df/ff5adf0a376af8f8b07d12dd5c906155.jpg) ******************************************** 

Cesare stood up from the seat. His bones cracked and ached. He’d been working non-stop on his paper cut out creations. He had a show in Atlanta coming up. The hype was real, the expectations high, and he had nothing he was proud of. He hated everything he was making. “Fuck it all.” He frowned and looked like his papa.

The door opened and Jean entered, “Listen, I was thinking that we could take a month off.” Jean had been working non-stop, too. “We’re burnt out and can afford to close the shop for a month at least while all of this other shit is going on in the world. Cesare’s heart clenched up, “I don’t know, papa. It feels like giving up.” Jean handed him a coffee, “It’s not. It’s just…” Cesare’s brow furrowed and he went to his paintings. Cesare could do it all but he only painted for himself private things.

He kicked the stool, “I’m not happy.”

Jean observed him, “Why?”

Cesare took a deep breath, “Because the world is fucked up and it makes me want to do something about it.” He turned to look at his father sighing, “And I would rather do anything that put my life on the line.”

*

Jean locked the studio, “Want to get breakfast?” Cesare nodded and they went to Maxim and Ilya’s friend’s Russian restaurant. They sat among the leather booths with kitsch decor and ate a feast. They never had to pay but they always “tipped.” The owner walked forward, “How is David?” Jean wiped his mouth and smiled, “He’s actually off work today. I think he and Miki were going to stay home and just enjoy being together.” 

He watched as the man smiled, “Could you tell him we’re sending food over for lunch and dinner? We just got my sister’s brother-in-law’s second cousin’s sister’s son in from Russia.” Maxim and Ilya walked inside with a bag of something. “Cesare, Jean, we’re so lucky!” Ilya smiled and sat down with them, “It’s been forever.” 

Cesare smiled, “Ha! We’re neighbors.” Maxim sat down after handing the bag off. Their regular order was brought out quickly after, “So, let’s hear the new gossip.” Jean grinned, “I don’t have any.” Ilya leaned forward, “Oh, come on! You must! You have so many children.” Maxim began eating his food.

“Lilly called us the other day and told us that Bellamy had wandered into her school without any warning.”

“Oh! And Alexi called Maxi to tell that he was contracted by the league again. He and Lilly are going to move in together so she can leave the dorms. Perhaps, he’ll find a nice girl.”

“Is he even interested in women? He might not be like me and Ilya.”

“Of course, he likes the women! Alexi came out to Maxi and I as straight. We were amused.”

Cesare listened and ate his food enjoying the sounds of his uncles and papa. Cesare was in a funk lately. He normally was sour and moody but not constantly like this. That worried him. He feared his family would get tired of him or not want to be around him. Judah was a terror but he was likeable.

As they were leaving Jean handed him a bag of food, “Take this to Ezra. Eren say’s he’s been at the office for over two days and won’t eat or drink.” Cesare felt like that was something his baba should take care of, not him.

Cesare had been thinking lately more and more about their actions after rescuing Hanji. He wondered what was going on with the normally reckless annoying maniac. Jean gave him a stern look, “Listen, take the food and get him to eat it. Everyone else is doing stuff and if you do it I’ll make it worth your while.” Cesare raised an eyebrow, “How?”

Jean sighed, “I’ll let you have the studio on main street all to yourself.” Cesare loved that place and it was next to Gio and Hannahlore, “Deal.”

*

The vet clinic was gorgeous and state of the art. Erwin had lavished Eren with anything and everything after he’d taken over the school and Levi kept it sterile and sparkling. They had great staff that they intentionally placed by personality. Levi and Eren knew what it was like to hate people and just want to do their job so the more altruistic of their applicants worked with patients upfront and not some of the more angry and touchy ones.

Cesare made his way to the back and saw Ezra, unshaven, unwashed, and the dark circles under his eyes looked like uncle Levi’s after a out of town show. He tapped the glass door and waited for Ezra to let him in.

_Tap, tap._

_nothing._

_Tap, tap._

Ezra turned to look at him and shook his head. Cesare’s anger flared, “LET ME IN, ASSHOLE!” Ezra’s brow furrowed, “NO! I’M BUSY!” Cesare started beating on the door with his hand and then kicked it till Ezra hit the button and let him in, “Fuck! Ezra, what is your problem?!” Ezra stewed, “I’m busy.” He was cold. Cold and hard were his emotions lately. Eren had become worried and sometimes Cesare heard him speaking softly to his papa about it while they sat on the back porch and drank their coffee. 

Cesare moved forward and grabbed Ezra’s shirt pulling him away from the sink, “Sit down and fucking eat something.” Ezra pushed him and it was on. Cesare charged him, arms circling his waist as he tackled him. Ezra pulled his legs up, the bottoms of them pushing into Cesare’s core and popping him up and off of him as his left fist swung and made painful contact with his jaw. 

Cesare yelped and then a flurry of punches from each left blood splattered all over the break room. Ezra’s face was bruising purple while Cesare held his midsection and curled in the fetal position. He grit his teeth, “You fuckface.”

Ezra pulled himself up off the floor and looked at the food, “O M G IT’S RUSSIAN!” He sounded like valley girl and Cesare pulled himself up, “If this was mean girls, you’d be Gretchen.“ Ezra took the food over to the other break room that had futons and couches. Cesare followed, limping while he sulked.

Ezra started eating but he kept checking the monitors of the animals. Cesare was quiet and closed his eyes. He just didn’t understand Ezra. He’d been blissfully stupid, ignorant, happy, loud, obnoxious, and reckless up until a few months ago. He looked at him healing before his eyes and wondered where his normal Ezra had gone.

*

When he woke up, there was blanket on him and he had a pillow under his head one between his legs. Cesare knew Ezra must have done it. He couldn’t believe he remembered he slept with a pillow between his legs. He moved and groaned from pain. Ezra was on one of the cameras. He looked at the number of the room and went there.

Ezra turned around and shushed him when he opened the door. He quickly locked a few things. Cesare wasn’t sure where he was but then Ezra had a tiger cub in his hands, “Do you want to pet it?” Ezra smiled and Cesare saw a glimpse of the old Ezra there, “Yeah.” He was handed the tiger cub. It made cute little noises all newborn cats make. The mother was sleeping, too. That’s why he had to be quiet.

After an hour or two checking animals, it was time to eat again and get some real sleep, “Come on and get something to eat. We need real sleep, too.” Ezra was hesitant, “I’m running some tests.” He seemed concerned, “I need to be here when they finish.” Cesare frowned, “At least...come eat.” Ezra fiddled with his hands, “It can’t be more than an hour and a half, Cesare.” He rolled his eyes, “Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

They went to Panera and stood in line. It was long and Cesare sighed and moved from one foot to the other while Ezra leaned forward looking dead on his feet. A little boy wearing a lion onesie with a tail and full mane came inside, only a toddler, holding his mother’s hand. He smiled at Ezra and Cesare and then made a fearsome face roaring at them. Ezra came immediately to life and roared back. He smiled and began to animatedly speak with the boy and mother about lions and all sorts of things. Cesare stared at him, listening and thinking. He thought the child was beyond adorable and he’d never really been into children. He thought Ezra had been adorable, too. Actually, his heart had gotten warm and then thumped strangely. It was probably heartburn.

They ordered and waited to be called. Before their food came, Ezra had a plate of muffins when they sat down, “Are you serious, Ezra?” He smiled, peeling the paper away from one, “It’s only an additional 99 cents!” Cesare lightly kicked him under the table, “FOR ONE!” The little boy walked by with his mother. She had a to-go order. He stopped, ran to Ezra to roar again and then hugged him. Ezra’s face lit up like the sun. He didn’t look a bit tired.

Cesare hit his chest to let loose the heartburn he was afflicted with.

Ezra kept eating and then slowly he started to fall asleep. Cesare opened his bag and removed his tablet. He’d let him rest and maybe get something creative done. He started sketching things, random and specific. He wanted to design a new template for his exhibition’s cut outs but he wasn’t trying to force it.

Cesare lost himself in his tablet, Panera, and the sound of Ezra’s soft occasional snores.

*

Ezra was pissed when he woke up, “HOW COULD YOU LET ME SLEEP! I HAVE TO GET BACK TO THE LAB!” He knocked the table, cups falling over and people staring at them. Cesare held onto his tablet, “YOU NEED A BREAK! CALM DOWN!” Ezra was livid. He slammed his hands on the table, “DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! YOU CALM DOWN!” 

“I DON’T WANT TO CALM DOWN!”

“WHY?!”

“BECAUSE YOU’RE PISSIN’ ME OFF, EZRA!”

They were asked to leave and Cesare barely had time to stick his tablet into his bag before Ezra pulled him out by force. They argued the entire way to the clinic and once inside Ezra locked him out of the building. The other workers were on holiday and Ezra was running everything with only a few crew in the large animal hospital. “Ezra! Are you serious?” Ezra was pissed, “Fuck off!”

He left and when he got home Jean asked how it went. He told him he hated Ezra and went to his room. Marco and jean exchanged glances and shrugged. “I wish they’d get over it.” Marco started to laugh, “Ha, because you and Eren have.” Jean looked burned, “They’re nothing like us!” Marco leaned back on the couch, “Liar liar pants on fire.”

There was silence and then both men snorted into laughter, “Such a great argument, babe.” Marco smoothed his quilt out on his legs, “I know, come snuggle with me.” Jean moved his quilting supplies. He and Maxim were making quilts lately and Jean liked them a lot. He moved under the cover of their house, his ultimate quilt and patchwork of Marco and their shared life. ( [1](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/d0/e7/7c/d0e77c7bc43d6a904290891600f5b771.jpg) [2](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/56/93/a9/5693a960c0f654ab2183f5b989f3478b.jpg) [3](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/26/4d/ee/264dee6f4257c381c69b1c3af33213ee.jpg) [4](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/66/2f/c6/662fc63fe8c460bc0da5a75177ac8f20.jpg) [5](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/bf/c0/b3/bfc0b33fa6522281b2f5c1e72e6afef4.jpg) ) 

Jean kissed up and down Marco’s neck while they watched the news and then a show their kids had watched growing up. Marco was working on a new book but this was longer. It was a novel from the Mila series. She'd grown up and so had her fanbase. She was still popular but he wanted to do something more with her character, “I thought about her getting married.”

Jean nuzzled the side of his face, “We're married.” He laughed, “We are.” Marco could sense Jean was trying to get something going, “You want a blowjob?” He looked at Jean who was trying to hide his smirk, “Maybe.” Marco kept looking at him, “We’re a little old to be shy, Jean.” Marco leaned forward and kissed him, “I’ll suck you off.”

Jean smiled, “Yipeeeeeee! It’s like Christmas.” 

“I’ll suck you off when you help me finish the corner on my quilt.” 

Jean frowned, “Baaaaabe, I don’t know nothin’ ‘bout no quiltin’!” Marco smiled and put the quilting down, “I know, babe. I just wanted to mess with you. Lay back, spread your legs, and enjoy your blowjob knowing any of our family could walk in.” Marco smirked deviously and Jean’s face flushed, “Babe, you’re such a freak.” Marco chuckled, “I like getting caught. I feel dirty.”

Marco pulled his joggers down, and smothered his face in his crotch, “Mmmm fuck, Jean. You smell so good.” He started to suck him off, rolling his tongue, and suckling on his glands. Jean threw his head back, closed his eyes, and enjoyed himself. His hands went to Marco’s hair and he enjoyed how soft it was. It wasn’t until he heard the swearing and knocking over of one of Marco’s vitamin bottles that he remembered just how exposed they were.

“Shit, idiots.” Levi turned to walk out and Marco pulled off. Marco laughed as Levi bumped into a few more things, red in the face, and trying to hurriedly leave. Seeing Marco do anything sexual made Levi uncomfortable. He just wanted to always think of him as a sweet face and smile. Jean was embarrassed and then, “Oh no, babe, I lost it. Levi seeing me get head killed my boner.” 

Marco frowned, “Isn’t being old shitty?” Jean pouted, “I’M NOT OLD! MY DICK IS JUST SHY!” Marco called for Levi and he eventually returned, pink in the face but present, “Where is Cesare? Can I speak with him?” Marco blinked, “He went to sleep. He’d been at the vet clinic since breakfast this morning with Jean and he just got back.” Levi frowned, “If I wake him up he’ll be pissed.”

Jean nodded, “Yeah….but if Eren wakes him up….” Cesare loved Eren even if he didn’t always say it. Levi smiled and it sent a chill down their spines, “Exactly. Thank you. I’ll send him right over.”

*

Cesare felt a smoothing motion on his back and it soothed him. He heard humming, some old Turkish song. He smelled Eren’s cologne and woke up slowly, calmly. Eren was in the bed on top of the covers. He smiled at him and Cesare moved closer like a little child again, “Cesare, I’m so sorry to wake you.”

Cesare frowned but didn’t say anything to hurt him verbally. Eren kissed his head and while Cesare groaned he actually liked it. If Cesare was Judah, then Eren was his Armin. “You went to take food to my son today. How did it go?” Cesare moved, squirmed, “He didn’t want to let me in. He ate eventually. I fell asleep and when I woke up he was just doing normal stuff.”

“What kind of things?”

“Like, taking care of animals and checking charts and washing things. I made him get lunch, told him he needed to leave, shower, and get some sleep. But, he wouldn’t do anything but go get lunch. He said we had to be back in an hour because he was running tests and needed to check them.”

”How was he at lunch?”

”Fine….like….normal Ezra. But, then he fell asleep and I let him sleep. He woke up and was livid. We were kicked out of Panera. He’s such an asshole.” He grumbled and Eren ran his hand through his hair, “What were the tests on?” Cesare didn’t know and Eren laid with him till he went back to sleep. Eren was worried about his son.

He got up and put the blankets back on Cesare to keep him warm. He saw his tablet on the floor and decided to do some good ole sleuthing. He enjoyed Cesare’s paintings and drawings just like he did Jeans. He flipped through some blueprints for his cut outs but then he stopped on the last one. He smiled and put the tablet down. Levi was waiting for him.

*

Eren crawled on the bed where Levi was reading. He moved slowly and then Levi’s lips started to curl up at the corners. Eren moved like a cat and then he pounced, “EREN! YOU’RE SUCH A LITTLE FREAK!” Eren grappled with him. Levi leaned up and spanked him, “I should teach you a lesson.” 

“Yeah, teach me one.”

“A painful lesson.

“I’m invincible.”

“I’ll tear you limb from limb.”

“Ah! Yes, sir!”

Levi pressed his lips against Eren’s and they tangled in the sheets, “I want one of these kids to have a grandchild already.” Levi was really missing having babies to play with and love on. Eren kissed him, “If you want another baby I’m right here and ready to let you impregnate me.” He raised and lowered his eyebrows and Levi looked like a light bulb had gone off in his head. “We could always have another baby.” Eren stared, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! We have raised and done everything. We just have to be patient. Come on, Judah is going to knock someone up soon.” 

Levi gave him a stern look, “Neshama, you know he’s popular.” Levi kept staring, “Gisela is working and so is Nikko. Judah is our only hope.” Levi still wasn’t happy but he sighed, “And Lore and Yoni are trying and that means freakin big ass tree man gets a grandbaby first. Fuck him.” Eren kissed him more to make his scowl go away, “Love me, Neshama.” Levi pushed him away, ‘Tell me what Cesare said.”

Eren did and then rolled around on the bed, “Neshama, I’m in need of some tender love and care.” Levi went over to a drawer and grabbed some rope, “I’ll give you more than that.” He tossed it up to the hook in the ceiling and tied it. Eren smiled coyly, submissively. He was stripped of his clothes and tied up in elaborate knots, “You still look twenty, it’s insane.” Eren smiled, “Please, Neshama. I’m already tied up. Why flatter me?” Levi licked the nape of his neck before kissing and biting it.

He tied Eren up, left him suspended. 

“It’s not flattery. It’s true. I can never get enough of you.”

His hands smoothed over Eren’s taut and perky bottom, “Which is why I’m going to fuck you raw.”

***

Ezra came home and limped into his [room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/b0/9b/99/b09b990cf5b57bad9a94059b48761e29.jpg). He was in pain, his ligaments swollen. Judah stumbled in after him, “I’d like to know that you’re not going to make that a habit.” Judah was high, not as bad as he’d been when Gigi was first gone but still, “I don’t know why you had to get involved.” Judah blinked, “I’m leaving my store and who do I see?” 

He was walking around the room slowly, looking around while Ezra took his shoes off and hissed and cringed, “I see my brother, my older brother whom I love dearly, running with a look of pain on his face. Then I see him fall. He’s over extended himself. He clearly has a tear to his meniscus, a tear-” he rattled off all of the issues he’d seen in terms of anatomy like Nikko when he was studying for a test. Judah was smart, really smart. 

Ezra gave him a death glare, “Please, you have your vice and I have mine.” Judah sat in the [chair](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/7b/70/bd/7b70bd7ae1ae259969f6d0642430b188.jpg) across from the bed, “Stop hurting yourself. You’re better than that.” Ezra’s phone was buzzing, “Nikko is calling me.” 

“Why?”

“Something he found in the wall.”

“The wall?”

“Don’t worry about it. I think he’s lost his mind. Gisela…”

“What about her?”

Judah’s body tightened and Ezra was still. Ezra spoke slowly, “She told Nikko it was worth looking into. I think she might be feeding his neuroticism.”

“She must have thought it was worth pursuing.”

“She thinks a lot of things.”

Judah stood up, “Do you still want the car or are you going to piss me off and make me burn them all just so you can’t steal one?” Ezra knew he’d said too much, “I want it.” He nodded, “Stay in bed, nudnik. And remember, she’s not just _my_ sister and she’s fucking perfect.” Ezra laughed, “I wasn’t being critical of kleine Giselaka. I just wish she’d say more and not less about things like this.” Judah pointed at him sternly, “She says all that she needs to say. She’s fucking perfect!”

He was going to leave but then he didn’t want to leave Ezra alone, “Get up.” Ezra stared, “What?”

“GET UP, EZRA!” You smell horrible, you look like Tom Hanks in Castaway, and you’re just not okay.” 

“What are you going to do about it?”

“Well, I’ll put my swim trunks on and put you in the bath,”

“I can bathe myself!”

“Can you even stand up?”

Ezra tried but then faltered. He was literally exhausted.

Judah put Ezra in the tub and set to helping him bathe days of dirt away, “I swear, you filthy animal!” He got the shave kit and shaved Ezra’s face while he healed, “Where are you going?” 

Ezra didn’t answer. Judah wiped the blade and set to cleaning him up. He gave him a haircut, returned him to his normal appearance and when he got out of the bath, the water ran brown, he was sent to the shower to rinse off while Judah cleaned the tub and bathroom. He put his clothes in a bag to take to the laundry and then put Ezra in bed, “I’m glad you’re my brother.” Judah’s words were so quiet he almost missed them, “I’m glad you’re my brother.”

*

Cesare kept thinking about Ezra and how angry he made him. He woke up, reached over for his tablet and decided to finish what he was working on. He opened it and noticed it was unlocked, _Eren…._ He knew the adults were all nosy. His last piece was a shock to him. It was Ezra, in all of his glory, asleep on the table at Panera. Ezra and Cesare had never gotten along. It was their competitiveness that made them naturally hate each other. Not to mention, Ezra erred on the more happy side of life and Cesare did not. His works were darker and Ezra had a fucknig [Giraffe](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/08/e2/b1/08e2b1c04001bfb0b6ab2724d9200656.jpg) tattoo among others.

But, Ezra had always been a handsome combination of Eren and Levi that had made his hand move pencil on paper more than once. He also guessed he didn’t mind him except that he acted like Baba on crack. Baba cared about his family, about having fun, about helping, and doing better all around. Baba was true to his beliefs, stuck to his word, and could not be swayed. Ezra was just a blindly convicted idiot who stayed out of everything to only work with animals.

But he was cute...ish.

He moved, rolled his shoulders, and picked his phone up.

It rang and rang.

_The tone picked up_

”My most blessed and beloved cousin. I have not heard from you in days, Cesare. I suppose you’ve been painting and doing whatever nonsense you artists do. You peddle the markings of the savant and deal not in the world of-” 

“Oh fuck off, Yoni. I’m going to call someone else.”

He hung up and called the next best person. Ideally, one of his siblings would be best but that would get right back to him or they’d cover for him. He knew a Smith would be the perfect interloper.

It rang again.

”CESARE! OMG BUDDY! IT’S BEEN FOREVER!” Zev was now laughing so loud Cesare had to put the phone down in order to keep his hearing. “Zev, I’m calling because I’m concerned about...an Ackermann.”

“Oh, well, you know those Ackermanns are quite the troublesome bunch but they are absolutely adorable.”

”It’s Ezra.”

Zev paused, “Oh?”

“Have you heard anything from Nikko or Gisela? Maybe Judah? He’s not acting like himself and even Baba came and asked me for information.”

Zev was silent for a while, “I’m visiting Gisela, making sure she’s okay at her new apartment and well, I think that...perhaps….I….um….”

”Zev, you’re not helping at all.”

“HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHH WEEEEEEEEEEEEELL….I think he’s in love. There I said it. The magnificent Zev Smith gave it up. You vanquished me.”

”So, that’s why he’s acting weird?”

”I dunno. Maybe. Or he’s just busy. Why do you even care, Cesare? Am I sensing compassion for Ezra? How unlike you.”

“Are you dating Gigi?”

“NO! I’M JUST PROTECTING HER!”

“Yeah….okay. Well, I just don’t think that’s the reason. He never goes anywhere to meet anyone so who would he even like?”

“Hmmm well, I always thought he was just asexual but maybe it’s someone at the clinic? If it is love, then let it be. He deserves to be happy. You know, he’s trying to save up to buy a townhouse in the center of town. He’s in love with it. He’s probably thinking about settling down and having a family.” Zev laughed full of love. Cesare could just see the smile on his face and the sincerity in his voice made his heart warm, “He’s always wanted kids and a big, warm home for him and his children. Gah….he’s pretty dreamy if you think about it. He’s always in scrubs, really cute wild hair, those eyes are sweet, his smile charming, he likes sweets and playing games. Wow….maybe I’m in love with him. Those Ackermanns.” Zev sighed longingly and exaggerated. Cesare hung up.

His face was hot from blushing.

“Those Ackermanns….they suck.”

*

”TAKE THE FOOD AND EAT IT, SHIT HEAD!” Ezra was frowning, “I’m fine!” Cesare had a bag of food. He was wet, soaked from the storm outside. He was just as sour looking as Ezra. “It’s your favorite.” It was and Ezra faltered, “I...did Aba send you with this?” Cesare bit the inside of his cheek, “Just take the food.” This had been going on for two weeks now.

Ezra opened the door and took the food, “Thanks.” He looked rough but not at all as bad as before. Judah was watching him like a hawk. “I just don’t have time to eat it right now. I’ll just-”

”Sit down and eat it!”

“DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, CESARE!”

”GOD! I KNOW IF YOU DON’T EAT IT IN FRONT OF ME IT’LL END UP IN THE FRIDGE! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU! WHY ARE YOU NOT EATING!?”

”HASHEM! YOU SOUND LIKE BABA AND ABA!”

Cesare was red in the face and looked really upset. Ezra didn’t understand what was happening. He felt like he maybe didn’t want to yell at Cesare anymore? _What the fuck? What?_ “Um...I guess….Um...just let me do something really quick and then I’ll eat it. I promise.” Cesare looked defeated and upset. Ezra’s body flushed red, “Um, I promise. Just come in a sit down at the table and I’ll be right back!

Cesare sat at the table and looked at the bags of food. Ezra had lost a lot of weight. When he came back he had paper plates and utensils. There was a knock on the glass, “Oskar?” He hit the button to let him in, “Ezra, I have a package sent over from Nikko.” Ezra smiled but it was tense, “Thank you. I can’t believe you came over in this weather.” He smiled brightly, “I was speaking with Mila on the phone and she suggested I take it over personally.” He looked at the two boys, “You two look like you’re having an IKEA picture perfect date night dinner. I love it and won’t intrude anymore than I have. Bye boys!”

They didn't say anything and just stared anywhere but at each other. Ezra seemed to pale at the look of the food and Cesare started plating it for him, “You know, today….I saw….” Ezra was staring at him, visibly scared and pained, “Stop that.”

”I s-saw a-”

”Please, no more.”

”What!?”

”STOP TRYING TO MAKE SMALL TALK IT'S WEIRD.”

”I SAW A CAT, YOU ASSHAT!”

”Omg what kind? Was it okay? Was it hurt?”

Cesare leaned back, unsure how to continue, “Naw it was just…. Just playing in the window of the store across from Gio’s.”

Ezra smiled a little. He leaned forward, whispering, “Was it cute?”

Cesare nodded and ate some of the Chinese food. Ezra ate like he was starving and Cesare stopped in order to slide more food over onto his plate. Ezra wiped his hands and face, “Thanks.”

”Are you like how Aviva is and how Gisela was?”

“No!”

”Well, you've always loved food so this is fucking odd, you know?”

”I swear, I'm just busy.”

”What are you testing?”

”Nothing just….I don't want to think about it right now. You want me to eat, right? Then just don't ask so I can eat.”

Cesare frowned but was happy Ezra was opening the third box of food. That meant he was going to eat more than he'd hoped he'd eat. “You should talk to baba more. He misses you.” Ezra blinked, he lowered his head and looked sad, “Baba said that?”

”Not in those words but come on.”

Ezra sighed, “I have no idea how they raised all of us. I don't know if I could do it. I want like, seven kids.”

”Is that why you're looking at that townhouse in the city? The huge one with all those rooms?”

”WHO TOLD YOU THAT!? AND SHUT UP! HAVE YOU MET MY ABA!? HE'LL START BUILDING ONE ON OUR PROPERTY IF HE KNOWS I'M LOOKING AT MOVING OUT!”

They fought for the next hour until a girl appeared, “Ezra?” She was cute, petite, blonde hair, blue eyes, “Oh, you're eating! GOOD!” She smiled and Cesare thought she was cute as a button and wouldn't mind if this was who he was crushing on. But, Ezra was curt and cold, “Thanks, Remy. You know, I can take care of myself. I'm pretty grown.” Cesare was rude but not to little girls, “Ezra! WHAT THE FUCK!” She giggled, “I know. But, I worry. Jamie is coming in tomorrow. He left you his number, remember. Maybe you should call? Just a suggestion!”

She left and Ezra laid his head on the table, “Doesn't your stomach hurt when she's talking? Doesn't your whole body seize up?” Cesare stood up to clean the room up a bit, “No, she's a cutie patootie.” Ezra made a “yuck” face, “I'll be glad when her internship is up and Jamie. He will not stop hitting on me.”

Ezra watched Cesare’s back tighten and his mood soured further. For the rest of the time he was there he pouted and seemed like he was much more interested in his own thoughts than Ezra’s work. Ezra was fine with that 

*

Nikko was leaning against the wall of marble and gold plates while Gisela trembled in front of him, “I would say don't drink the water anymore. But, it's in the bottled water and you can't filter it out.” He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her closer, “What good does it do, us being here?”

She turned her head, “It does me good.” He picked up the phone, “Ezra, how are the tests going?” She watched the line grow and grow. They were waiting to see if she came out, if she had succeeded.

Mila emerged from the church, papers in her hands. She was crying, her lips pressed together, she was turning red trying to hold it all in. She started to sob when she reached them, “I did it.” Gisela hugged her, “Baruch HaShem.” Nikko’s face was grey and mournful. She looked at him, “I'm a traitor. I'm a traitor!” Gisela held her tighter but Mila was searching Nikko’s face. He was who she felt like she had to repent to redeem herself to. 

He told Ezra a few more things and hung up. “Mila,” his voice sincere, face full of conviction and pity, “I asked this of you, me! The transgression lies with me! I carry your burden alone.” Gisela pulled them down towards the bank, “All we want is for you to be safe. All we want is an end. Come to Austria.” 

Mila shook her head, “No! I'm staying! Nikko can't leave and if I don't stay then what will.happen? Who will take care of him!?” Nikko wished she'd go, “Take care of me!? What is there to take care of. Go, be happy! LIVE FREELY! I'll follow when I can.” She started crying more, “You're LYING!” She turned and with both hands hit his chest pushing him backwards. Gisela thought quickly, “You're boyfriend is out of the picture, Nikko is a grown man, and you have papers of freedom in your hand. Why would you stay knowing you can do nothing? Leave and you can be near, earning money and dating and being a young woman with all the world as her oyster. Nikko is my brother, I'll take care of him.” Nikko felt his phone buzz, “It's Ezra again.” Gisela continued her course of persuasion. This is what Nikko had asked of her. 

“They came in, three of them, with this look on their faces like they were manic or drunk. It was eerie.”

“I can't get a pure control without….for another few days.”

”Don't push so hard….if I could send you some samples of me then-”

”Stick to your lab. I know you can't mail anymore. Oskar was just here. The animals are a catalyst. I can't figure it out.”

”Why do you think that?”

”Oh you know….Ackermann intuition. Gisela said she had dreams about cows being attacked and eaten by people.”

”Sounds like too much drinking with Zev and Keita.”

”She’s definitely starved for affection.” Nikko said slightly teasing. “Judah would help.” 

”Judah misses his sister and does black tar, just sayin’.”

”I'm going to have a chat with him.”

”Well, have one with Bellamy and make him make Cesare leave me alone.”

”Damn, Bellamy….he must really be bothering you.”

”He's hindering my work.”

”Just kill him!”

Nikko burst into laughter, madness laced laughter. He was watching Mila sit down in the floor of the bank with tears running down her cheeks. Her hands gripped the papers like iron locks covered in flesh and bone. He felt like he’d go insane if her suffering continued.

“Nikko….what the fuck…...that's something Judah would say but not you….I gotta go. He won't leave. Bye brother. Tell Gisela I love her and Mila, too. I love you as well. You need sleep, Nehemiah.”

Ezra got off the phone and looked at the results before him and cringed. His anger flared and he slammed half of everything into the trash and off the table. Cesare saw and said nothing, “Please get some real sleep.” Ezra turned to look at him, “Why are you suddenly my shadow, Cesare?”

Cesare hadn't realized-

He turned and left, leaving Ezra alone among the destruction. 

*

Cesare stood in his studio, cut out creations littered the space but it wasn't what he wanted it to be by any means. 

He looked at the giant canvas in front of him and sighed. He guessed he'd paint till inspiration came. 

He played a song, _Di Sapozhkelech_ , on repeat. 

It had always been Ezra’s favorite.

So, he was only playing it for the nostalgia of hearing it over and over in his childhood. Nothing more. 

Maxim was coming by the door with Ilya on their way to drop off supplies Jean left at their house when they heard it. Ilya kissed Maxim on the mouth, spun him around and they danced to it like they had as children in Russia. In Russia, when they were but one tribe. Not two split camps with many from theirs in America now, Maria specifically. 

Maybe homelands were meant to die? Or the homeless meant to make their own. 

You have to take things. No one is ever going to just give It to you. 

*

Cesare looked at Keita for a long time, “I'm looking for information on someone in the family.” Keita looked up from his book, “Who?”

“Ezra.” 

“Easy. What do you want?” 

“Passwords, accounts, and to know if he's going anywhere.” 

Keita smirked but Cesare didn't question further. David came inside, “Cesare, the Sochozahwski family would like a portrait of their daughter before she marries. They came over not that long ago and where they're from in Siberia this is a big deal. I know they can't afford it but I was hoping I could pay almost all of it and you charge them just a few dollars. You're just so talented.”

“You mean, my papa is busy.”

“You're a nice boy.” 

“Oh god, don't tell them I'm not Jewish. That's what you're going to say, right?” 

“Yep.” 

“Why don't you just quit the embassy and do the tobacco business with uncle Levi?”

“Mikasa says I can do anything I put my mind to so I do both. Also, she says I can retire in a few years and then she'll take some time off and we can just travel. I pretty much follow her lead and I love it.”

“Did you always want a family? Was aunt Mikasa always the one?” Keita looked at him like he'd grown three heads, “Dude, what even?” David was also surprised, “I always wanted a family since I'm an orphan. Mikasa also wanted a family since she is also an orphan. I knew Mikasa was the love of my life, the one, my beschert, when she let me, a near stranger, take her in my car to my apartment when she was stranded in Atlanta and we went to get Israeli food. She wore my oversized IDF jacket and sweatpants while I read the paper and she watched the news. It was the happiest, most content, feeling I'd ever had as an adult. She was also my go-to when I wanted comfortable routine and stability. I am never more at ease, more happy, and more alive than with Mikasa.”

”You know, you choose to love someone when you get married. Sure, sometimes things just can't work out but Mikasa chooses to love me on the days I'm gone for work and distracted. She chooses to help sort my socks even though she thinks I have too many.”

”Aba, you do have too many.”

”And she chose to love me when we found out were we having you and your sister. She locked herself in with this old schmuck for years! We were scared each time, both of you were unplanned and we found out early, like four weeks early with your sister.”

Cesare thought about it, “When did you choose to love Mikasa?” David blinked, “Never, I love her and think she's perfect. She's clearly the better half of this partnership.” He smiled and Keita did too. “Momma is perfect.” David nodded, “She is. When are you going to find a nice girl like your momma? You're getting old, you know.” Keita blushed, “Stop, Aba.”

“And Cesare, what about you? You make good money, you have a stable profession thanks to the hard work of your papa and yourself, and you have a savings account. You should get married. What are you looking for? A nice girl or boy or both or neither, I just need to know to put it out there in the proper channels.”

Cesare blushed hardcore and Keita thanked HaShem he was no longer under interrogation. 

*

He looked around at all the files while Reiner picked up his order of a paper dancers. He was taking it with him on a plane, “Where are you going again?” Reiner laughed, “Greece! I have friends vacationing there and they've got a daughter that Bert and I love to dote on. She's fucking gorgeous. Just like her mother.” 

Cesare thought about something, “But, Bertolt is in Sweden?” Reiner didn't miss a beat, “Yeah! THAT LUCKY DOG! I'll be meeting him in Greece when he's done in Sweden. It made sense for me to get this since he'd have to lug it on more flights than necessary.” Cesare smiled and checked the package, “Will you do the card like always?”

Cesare went to grab some parchment paper. He did a watercolor design Lilly had given him permission to use and then wrote a small note and signed it. Reiner was grinning ear to ear, “Lilly Atara is super popular. She'll die when she sees the design.”

Cesare wiped his hands, “Lilly can make some trendy patterns for fashion, let me tell you. Mikasa did a line in nothing but her fabrics.” Reiner spoke a little longer then looked at his watch, “I gotta go. Take care, Cesare.” Cesare smiled and then returned to sleuthing. Ezra was going to be exposed if it was the last thing he did. 

*

Judah walked out of the club, the asphalt black top shining from recent rain. He had two bags packed and put them in the car, “I’m coming with you.” Ezra looked at him sadly, “Judah, please just stay. I have no idea what’s going to happen.” He didn’t, not at all. He found a clue in a letter that Hannes had written him and left him.

“You always looked just like your baba and I’m sure that’s the key.”

He’d thought it was strange and not at all like Hannes. Something Gisela also picked up on. She suggested that he take the key that baba wore. That was a lot harder than anyone would think so he had to lie to Levi and tell him he was having a cast made of the key for gift that the kids were all making baba. Levi had been suspicious and less than cooperative.

But, he’d managed it and now he had the key and hunches. Judah stared him down, “I’m not letting you go alone. There’s no telling what’s going to happen. You’re not like me. You’re going to need stability.” Ezra doubled over laughing, “I can’t believe you used yourself and stability in the same conversation!”

Someone approached them and Judah looked over, “Hey, motherfucker, this is a private conversation. Back off.” In the low light all they could make out was the outline of a tall, well built, man. He pulled his hoodie down, “I’m going. Judah should stay and keep up with his business. We just closed the shops again because of what happened in Atlanta. Our show is postponed.” 

Ezra scowled, “I don’t want to be trapped with either of you in a car for a long amount of time.” Judah sneered, “Take Cesare.” He turned to head to the club, “He’s fucking weak.” Cesare snorted, “Thanks for that, Judah. You’re sweet as always.”

”Fuck off.”

“Find someone to fuck and get over that attitude.”

“Keep my brother alive or I’ll skin you.”

Ezra pushed Cesare back, “I don’t need you.” Ezra opened the door and Cesare moved to get in the passenger side, “You know, I’m not a scientist but I figured a few things out. I did go to the same private school.” Ezra turned the car on and looked over at him, “Yeah, but you didn’t come to day school and therefore, know nothing of Torah and nothing of our extended education.” Cesare fumed, “The church was plenty of extended education for me.”

“Yuck….Catholics….”

“That’s so, you know what? If I told your aba and baba you said that they’d beat your ass.” 

Ezra was driving pretty well for him. He had a tendency to go too fast and to slightly move from side to side in his lane. It annoyed Cesare to no end. “So, what do you think you have figured out?” Cesare looked at him, “You’re not eating because you’re using yourself in an experiment.” Ezra shrugged, “Lots of people use controls.” Cesare shook his head, “No, you’re not a control. Judah wasn’t a control. Nikko wasn’t a control. Gisela wasn’t a control. What was a control were the staff members and then the animals. But, the animals showed what your saliva and blood showed. So, what’s going on?”

Ezra didn’t speak and Cesare felt like maybe he should go on, “The animals are unfazed. They don’t develop any new mutations from the shit you give them. So, does that mean your shit is weak or just that they’re invincible?” The road was dark and wet. The lights were bright and hurt Cesare’s eyes. 

“And now you’re going to find something else to test? I thought you’d just stick to animals.” Ezra turned the music on, “Stop talking to me.” His voice wavered, a small wabble like when he was little and going to cry. Cesare couldn’t believe he heard it, “Is something like a hot virus about to hit us, Ezra?” Ezra kept driving, his face grim, “I wish I was alone.”

That stung a little and Cesare stayed quiet.

*

Eren felt strange, “Levi?” Levi was was nowhere to be found in their room. He eventually found him looking at pictures of their family downstairs on the couch. Levi looked so handsome. His age seemed to never change but there were little lines only Eren knew of that were almost invisible to others. He kidded with him that he and the actor Tom Schilling were both “forever young.” Levi had snorted and said as long as he looked better than Erwin he didn’t give a shit. Armin got botox and secretly so did Eren.

Eren joined him on the couch, pressing up against him. Levi looked through all of the pictures of their wedding, their children’s birthdays, bar and bat mitzvahs, and summer camp drop offs and pickups. Eren closed his eyes and pressed a kiss to his neck. Levi hummed, ‘You’re upset about something.”

Eren opened his eyes, “I have the strangest feeling that something is wrong.” Levi put the tablet down, “I do, too. Do you think Erwin bought something? We just got our money back. Yoni really pulled some impressive shit off.” Eren started to making ooing noises, “Yoni was like “I’m little Erwin and soon I’ll be grooming my eyebrows to become weapons.””

“He’s a good husband.”

“Damn right. I was so proud of him and how he handled everything to keep her safe and afloat.”

“He does spend his money like his father.”

“But, she’s shrewd like Mikasa and David. She’s such a pretty, talented, amazing girl.”

“I want a grandbaby.” “I want an….Ackermann-Smith grandbaby….like….Armin and I are just dying waiting for it.”

Levi’s eyes widened and he looked at Eren in shock, “YOU AND ARMIN ARE LUDACRIS!”

“WE WANT OUR FAMILIES TO BE JOINED FOREVER!”

“THEY ARE! WE HAD A CEREMONY!”

“JUST THE ADULTS BECAUSE THE KIDS WOULD NOT HAVE UNDERSTOOD!”

“Who do you think will end up together? We have one girl each and three boys. One Smith is already married. Zev is devoted to the Torah and had stated that he doesn’t want to pass on his albinism.”

“But, you’ve told him that that’s not really a solution.”

“I’ve told him lots of things but he’s as hard headed as Ezra.” “And Tuvia will never marry. Zad even said it.”

“Aviva won’t marry either.” 

“Levi! Really?”

“She don’t need no man, Eren. She’s a fierce, impressive, beautiful, talented woman.”

Eren’s eyes narrowed, “You mean “she’s Armin reborn but as a girl.””

“I think mami is is all of those things, too. Maybe you’re right.”

“I hate you. You like Armin more than me.”

“No, I don’t! How could you say that!? I love you.”

“Nikko has only dated chastely convicted yeshiva girls but then there was Rebecca.”

“We dodged a bullet. I hate her.”

“He’ll probably become a Rabbi and be like Berkovitch.”

“He better become a writer.”

“He’s going to be a surgeon, Neshama. I want a successful son that I can brag about at the temple.”

“Eren….I do too.”

“Gisela and Judah….Judah’s probably sired some grandbabies but we’ll never know. Gisela is committed to the opera and ballet but I think she’s seeing someone and not telling us.”

“Why do you say that?”

“She just glows. She’s always out with someone when I call.”

“She dates, I’m sure.”

“Ha, with Judah keeping tabs on her?! Hardly….but then again dating is easier than trying to have something longterm. Then Judah would really be in her business.”

“Do you sometimes think….you know….that we messed them up? Do you think they’re looking for a lifestyle like ours? I always thought that maybe they’d end up living with Keita and Zev.”

“Can we have like...a really uncomfortable talk?”

“Eren, if you bring up couples’ aenemas again I’ll scream. You got me to do the coffee one and I said never again. Also, that’s something you and Armin can do together when you go on your spa adventures. My husband, the bougiest of all. Makes me sick. You’re turning into a SMITH.”

“I WASN’T GOING TO BRING THAT UP!”

“Then what, ahuvi?”

“Keita and his love for Gisela.”

“Ohhhhhhhhh….ughhhhhhhh It’s so bad.”

“Like, would it be that bad?”

Levi and Eren were silent as they thought about it, “I guess it’s really not.” Levi said it with a sigh, “I mean, they don’t have to have children and they are only half cousins which is more or less like being a second cousin or third cousin. Orthodox Jews in some places marry distant cousins. They’re adults and his admiration for her has never really gone away all these years.”

“Wow, Levi. I agree. I just feel like he’s always looking for her to kind of give him the “go.” But, Zev is just-”

“Lubavitch.”

“Lubavitch.”

They were quiet till Eren spoke again, “But, Judah and Zev?” Levi laughed shortly, “That would be…” he paled, “like me and Erwin. Shit. Please, HaShem. No.” Eren laughed, “He’s really into women, though and I think Zev is too. But, that’s not really always so concrete. My ideal match up would be Judah, Gisela, Zev, and Tuvia.”

Levi hummed, “I’m still pro Judah, Gisela, Zev, and you know what….Aviva.” Eren cackled, “SHE HATES JUDAH! Oh MY GOD!” Levi kissed Eren and they fell into the floor. It was all lips and teasing hands until one of the cats jumped on them to attack them, “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” *** 

Ezra leaned over, hand on the hood to steady himself, and retched all over the ground. Cesare walked around to look at him, “Hey, let’s go over here to this burger place and get you something to eat and drink.” Ezra nodded, one arm wrapped around his stomach, “I hate getting car sick.” Cesare was still annoyed sounding but it was forced, “Yeah, it didn’t help that you’re hungry and probably dehydrated.” He walked over and held Ezra up as they walked over to the burger place.

Ezra felt a sense of destiny at this place. Cesare was warm and strong. They’d both been competitive soccer players. Alexi had left them in the dust so neither competed with him. It was also that they were each other’s main competition in all other sports. Nikko had always won at swimming, Gisela at volleyball, and Zev and Keita destroyed them at football. Judah had been into martial arts and tennis. It seemed that while they’d never been the best, they’d been just close enough and winning to them was beating the other.

Cesare’s straw squeaked against the cut plastic opening, “You’re pretty cute.” Ezra blushed redder than an apple. He looked down at his food. He could not believe he’d said that. It was like his mouth had just moved of it’s own accord and it made no sense. Cesare had been looking out of the window, ‘Huh?” He honestly hadn’t been listening that much, “I said you’re pretty cutting edge.” 

Cesare blinked, “I’m not sure what that even means?” 

“Like, you’re France 1960s look is cutting edge.”

“Oh, thanks.”

“The hotel is only a few minutes away.”

“Then let’s get some food to go.”,/p>

Ezra looked confused, “We’re eating now.”

Cesare rolled his eyes, “You’ll be hungry in four hours, Ezra. I know you.”

Cesare went to order food to go and then sat back down with a milkshake, “This is exactly what I wanted.” They looked around at the diner and then Cesare pulled his phone out, “Let’s take some pictures. The fam would like that. We don’t have to send them till we get back to Maria. That way we’ll stay under the radar. I’m sure that was the point.”

They went to an old motel and unpacked their bags. Cesare laughed because he’d have to wear what Judah had packed for himself. “At least he’s got good taste, well good hoodlum tastes.” Ezra smiled, “Sorry there’s only one bed. I can sleep on the floor.” 

“You do realize that we’ve grown up together and have shared sleeping bags.” 

“I was just being polite.”

“That’s….weird.”

“Plus, you’re annoying and hog the covers.”

“Shut the fuck up, Ezra!”They laid down and kept arguing but it was about little things. Ezra was actually glad Cesare was here. Perhaps, he liked having someone who didn’t get too serious around. His siblings always were so serious.

*

He looked at the strange cement structure but said and did nothing.

It was so quiet.

Cesare touched his arm, “We should look at whatever it is.” He smiled reassuringly but Ezra felt like he might throw up again, “This place has so much emotion tied to it. It’s so strange. I don’t like it. It hums in my gut…..don’t you feel it?” Cesare didn’t but he didn’t want to admit it. He felt bad for Ezra. He felt so badly that he was clearly this upset. “Yeah...it’s weird here.”

They got out of the car and moved towards the building. Ezra looked around it and had no idea where to begin, “I need you to tell me if you see something.” Cesare nodded and they looked around it.

“Let’s just open the door….you’ll heal if it’s something bad.”

“You won’t, though.”

“I’ll go stand by the car.”

“Too close. Go further away.”

Cesare did as he was told and Ezra opened the door, shutting his eyes.

“Nothing happened. I’m coming back over.”

Ezra looked back at him, “I don’t know. I think you should stay in the car where it’s safe.” Ezra didn’t want anything to happen to Cesare and the threat of this whole situation being a bomb or something made him panic. They both moved inside and Cesare took out his phone, “You ever gunna tell me what we’re doin’ here?”

“No.”

“Thanks….There is a hole here. Put your key in it.”

Ezra rolled his eyes, “It would be some sort of magical bullshit.” He put the key inside and turned it. A small seam appeared in the floor. They both looked at it and Ezra was nervous, ‘What if it’s dark…” Ezra, like his baba, was afraid of the dark. “I’ll be there. Here, I have my phone.” He turned the flashlight on and leaned down to open the door.

They descended the stairs and saw it was lit, there were people, screens, it was so strange. A man stood up and went over to them, “Eren?” He was old, almost Zad’s age, “Why are you back? It’s all running fine and I don’t-”

“I’m not Eren. That’ my baba. I’m Ezra. What is this place?”

He stared, “Is Eren dead?”

“No, he’s fine. I just-”

“Leave. Come back with him or when he’s dead.”

“I...I can’t leave.”

“We can make you two leave.”

“What’s in the water? I need to know what’s in the water and everything has led me here. I’m not leaving till I know what it is because I won’t let another plague hit us and have done nothing!”

The man looked even more perplexed, “What have you found out? Why hasn’t your father told you anything?”

“Something is in the water and I think it’s a virus. It doesn’t affect animals but it does humans. But, when I tested my blood, it…”

“Did nothing. Good. That’s actually really good.”

“How did you know that?”

“Because, that’s what it should do. You’re special. You’re father is special. Come on, I guess the cat’s out of the bag.”

He sat them down and opened a file, “Okay, so this is the filter and inside are…”

*

Cesare sat down on the bed with a thud. He was in shock. Ezra was just walking around in a daze. He wanted to call Nikko and he opened his phone but he couldn't move his fingers. Gisela’s name flashed on the screen. He was happy for the call.

When he walked back into their room shaking, “I just want to go to sleep forever.” Cesare looked at him, “Come here.” He patted the bed next to him, “Come on, let’s take a nap.” Ezra started to break down, “Why didn’t he tell me?” Cesare stood up and tried to comfort him. He placed his hands on his face, “Because, there’s obviously something that made him think that it’d do harm to tell you. We have to believe that he must be taking care of this and you’re just simply very smart and very clever to have found out all about this.”

Cesare held him to him while he cried. He took him to the bed and took his shoes off and pants. He crawled inside with him and tried to calm him. He was just as upset as Ezra.

*

Judah was woken up with a thud, “Did you take your baba’s key?” Judah looked at Erwin and set his jaw. “Judah Jaeger, did you take his key?” Erwin loomed over him. Judah laid on the ground and closed his eyes, “I have a plane to catch in a few hours. I was trying to get at least an hour or two of sleep.”

Erwin frowned epically, “Judah, someone was in my office lately. Things are missing. Then, your Baba loses his key. Your Aba is missing a few things, too.” Judah groaned, “And you immediately thought of me? How sweet of you.” Erwin tapped his foot on the ground before pushing Judah over on his back with it, “The only one who is suspiciously not missing anything is your Vati.”

Judah snorted, “Because he’s literally the only one who can keep up with anything. I don’t have time for this bullshit, eyebrow man. Leave.”

Erwin ripped him up and sat down, pulling him across his lap and spanking him. Judah thrashed, “WHAT THE FUCK OLD MAN!? STOP!” Armin came inside, “ERWIN ZIV SMITH! YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!” Eriwn’s hand stayed and Judah smirked, softly vibrating from internal laughter as Armin yelled at him, “I TOOK THAT MONEY AND TRANSFERRED IT INTO TUVIA’S ACCOUNT!” Erwin blushed from shame and Judah started to outright laugh, “Eyebrow man, you’ve lost your touch. You should have made sure you weren’t just mistaken before taking me to trial without proper evidence.”

Judah was smacked hard and Armin pulled him out of his lap, “I’ll skin you alive, Erwin Smith. Touch him again and you will meet your maker.” 

“BABY!”

“HE DIDN’T DO ANYTHING! APOLOGIZE!”

Erwin looked at Judah, “I’m sorry for accusing you.” He said it without much inflection but it was sincere. Judah was pressed against Armin’s bosom, “Now, he’s got a flight in a few hours with our plane-”

“WHAT?!”

“Yes!”

“I WANTED TO GO TO-”

“TOUGH SHIT, FLY LIKE A COMMON PEASANT!”

“Noooooooooooooooooo, baby! I don’t want to be poor!”

“He’s taking the plane and he’s going to sleep now. I’m going to stay with him to make sure you don’t come back and torture him!”

“Baaaaby….nooooooo.” Erwin whined and tried to convince him to come be with him but Armin shooed him out of the room.

He got in bed with Judah, his hands played with him hair, “I’m sorry that happened.”

Judah closed his eyes, “Thanks Vati.”

“But you know…”

“No….I love you. Please don’t.”

“You should spend more time with your daddy! He loves you!” “HE SPANKED ME AND ACCUSED ME OF BEING A THIEF TO MY OWN FAMILY!”

“HE JUST WANTS YOUR LOVE!”

“He’s mean.”

“Ask him to come in here and lay with you like when you were little.”

“Uh no. I have you.”

“ERWIN!”

“WHAT BABY?”

“JUDAH WANT’S HIS DADDY TO LAY WITH HIM SO HE CAN FALL ASLEEP!”

“SERIOUSLY?! I’LL BE RIGHT THERE!”

“Vaaati…...I just want you.”

“Well, you’re getting everyone.”

He’d be overseas in a few hours so the least he could do is settle in and accept it. Erwin appeared, mumbled something about how he knew his little kempfer (fighter) would want his daddy. Judah just let the old man dream.

*

The phone buzzed and Cesare grabbed it. Ezra was asleep on his chest, drooling, snoring. Ezra was ridiculous. He saw it was Nikko and he answered it, “Hey.” Nikko didn’t speak for a second, “Cesare?”

”Yeah?”

”My brother?”

“Is fine and asleep. That’s why I answered.”

“I need you two to go back and do something for me. Ask them some questions and then follow these instructions to the T.”

*

Ezra moved towards Cesare and pressed himself against him, “Did Nikko call?” Cesare rolled over, “Yes, and it’s a complicated plan as usual.” Ezra looked down at the sheets, “I got the house.”

“You did?!”

“I did. If only I had one thousand children to fill it with. I need to renovate it. It’s going to cost a fortune. Ughhhh.”

“You want kids now?”

“Yeah. It’s so strange. Baba said Aba was like that. He apparently wanted kids and had a talk with Baba the first thanksgiving they were together.”

“Damn, that’s intense.”

“I really want kids, man. Do you?”

“I……..think that I…. _do?_ ”

“Sounds like that surprises you.”

“Yeah...I just never thought about it till you asked and then it was like, so clear. I do.”

“What did Nikko say?”

“He said we have a job to do. Ha, older siblings...so bossy.”

They both laughed and then decided on a plan of action. They’d have to go back to the filter. Their time in Little Moscow was not over.

***

Hanji pressed her face into the table, her hips raised slightly as the edge of it pressed into her thighs. Oskar slammed deeper inside of her. Her hair spilled over her face. She was breathing heavily. He laid on top of her, trying to catch his breath. He pressed a kiss to her back, “Hanji, we’ve got to stop meeting like this.”

She smiled while he chuckled, “Just ships passing in the night.”

“Ships passing in dark offices.”

“I’ve missed you fucking me.”

“We’re working a lot, iubita mea (my beloved). I can’t just let the ghetto fall apart.”

He pulled out and she went to fixing her clothes. She kissed him and he smiled against her lips, “You’re going to take me away from work even longer with your kisses.” She went to the bathroom and grabbed a change of clothes out of her bag, “Want a shower before we head home?” He thought about it, “A shower…. _with_ you?” She nodded yeah. He started walking towards her but then there was a knock, “Dr. Dracul, we need you urgently in 2B!”

He sighed, “Go on, iubita mea. I’ll be home...sometime tonight. I’ll call Mila and tell her good morning at least.” He picked his phone up from the desk and called Mila on his way to the room.

“Morning, piu Mila (little chick Mila)! I wanted to tell you you’re beautiful, smart, intelligent, and you bring happiness to my life. I hope to hear from you when you get this message. I love you, draga Mila (darling Mila).” * 

The man slammed against the bed, he was manic, blood sputtered out of his mouth. The two women and the three children along with the other man were just as bad. They had them in quarantine. Hanji walked by to observe before she left, “Where are they from?” The nurse looked at her with her nose in the air. She was a new resident and she had the hots for Oskar.

”I asked for information, nurse.” Hanji was cool and she flipped through the chart, “Midwest, Montana. They’re here visiting and decided to stay in the ghetto longer. I guess they like Mayor Smith. Who wouldn’t.” Hanji bit her lip and then waved goodbye to Oskar. He smiled despite the issues in the room.

Vadimas was at home. He’d more than likely spent time with Ms. Vared Laskov, a really nice woman from Siberia who had come over shortly after the creation of the ghetto. Maxim and Ilya loved her and thought she was hard as nails. A real Iron woman. She made sweets and tea but also spewed poetry and had a warrior’s spirit. She’d survived the Reiss attacks that had destroyed her family.

Hanji was just happy that he had someone to have tea with like that. He’d helped her see that and she was always thankful, everyday she woke up, that she had Oskar. She noticed that something was off in their look, in the way those patients acted and she paused. She called Levi and they had a talk over coffee at her house. He complained that it was too late for coffee and she promised it was decaf.

*

Cesare drove them back while Ezra planned and worried. He kept talking to Nikko. It was never ending texting and talking. Cesare was concerned with the stress that was being put on him. Ezra liked working in his clinic, eating, watching puppy and kitten youtube videos, running, eating a lot more, and sleep. He also liked townhouses and kids, too. He was so sensitive and simple in such a wholesome and good way that it made Cesare’s heartburn act up again.

“How would you renovate the townhouse?” Ezra chewed the inside of his cheek, “I dunno...wanna take a look?”

Cesare blushed, “W-w-hat? Why would you ask me? It’s your shitty house.”

Ezra blushed and looked out the window, “I dunno. Because, you’re an artist and stuff. You know...it’s closer to your gallery.”

Cesare’s heartburn was really heating up, “I think I could maybe look but I know you’re only asking me because my taste is so amazing.”

“Shut up, ass! I could just have vati look at it!”

“FINE! YOU DO THAT, SHITHEAD!”

“GOOD! I’LL ASK VATI!”

“YOU SHOULD! HE’S FUCKING GREAT!”

Ezra was quiet for a second before continuing to yell, “BUT LIKE IF YOU WERE GUNNA SUGGEST SOMETHING YOU’D LIKE TO LOOK AT, WHAT WOULD IT BE?”

“I DON’T KNOW! SOMETHING FUCKING RUSTIC!”

“AND FRENCH?”

“THAT SOUNDS NICE! MAYBE LOTS OF GREENS AND BROWNS.”

“AND WOULD YOU MAYBE WANT TO MOVE IN?”

There was silence.

Ezra’s lungs burned as he inhaled, “I meant would you maybe want to stay when you’re working at the gallery. I mean, the house is only seven minutes away from downtown but I’d be less than two minutes. You wouldn’t even have to drive that long and that’s safer since you know...tired driving is drunk driving.”

Cesare burped, “My heartburn is bad lately, sorry. I guess that would be nice.” He mumbled the last part and it made Ezra’s face burn, “So, that’s nice and junk.” Cesare coughed, “When do you close?” 

“Maxim and Ilya closed for me. I’m done. I have the house and the key should be under the mat.”

“After we get done with our stuff….do you wanna go over or something?’

“I mean….yeah.”

“Cool.”

“Tots cool.”

“Lore doesn’t need to find out yet.”

“Ha, Yoni probably already knows.”

“Yeah, nothing stays private in this family. I want to go for a run so badly.”

“Yeah, I want to paint.”

“We’re almost home.”

Cesare looked over at him for a few seconds, “Yeah, we’re almost home.”

***

”This is literal shit.” Jean groaned and Cesare pulled at his hair, “I hate it all.” Jean tched, “Listen….this is gonna sound crazy but-”

“Papa….”

“Let’s set up a camera.”

“Papa…”

“And set it all on fire.”

Cesare’s eye narrowed. He thought about it, ‘It could be a new edgy motion picture piece that plays on the walls.”

“Yeaaahhh….and I mean, come on, fire is amazing.”

Marco came inside shortly after, “Hellooooo! Where are my handsome men!?”

He walked in the room and saw them dousing everything in gasoline, “NOPE! NOPE! NOPE! JEAN! JEAN KIRSCHSTEIN I WILL HAVE NONE OF THIS!” Jean set the fire and Cesare moved to the camera, “DAD! IT’S ART!” Marco screamed as the fire engulfed the mound of paintings, “THIS IS GOING TO BURN THE BUILDING DOWN!” 

*

The firetruck said that the building would have to be closed for cleaning but nothing was damaged or condemned. Marco stood with his arms crossed and Cesare and Jean held their heads in shame as Erwin handled the insurance company. Marco turned, “Next time, follow the first rule of this family.” Both nodded, “What is that rule? I want to hear you say it!”

Both Jean and Cesare mumbled at the same time, cheeks pink, hand rubbing the back of their neck, “Marco is always right. If he says no, then it’s no. Listen to everything Marco says. He is our God.”

Marco stared more, “I am YOUR God!”

Erwin gave them all a stern look, “You better think a little more before your hippie bohemian lifestyle burns my city down. This ghetto is an ecosystem and must be treated as such.”

Cesare’s phone buzzed and he was glad for it, “I have to go. It’s important. I’m sorry, uncle Erwin.”

*

Ezra was laying on the floor of his [townhouse](). Ezra rolled over on his stomach when he walked inside, “All of the animals are dead.” Ezra had tears in his eyes. He’d been trying to find what it was that was changing people in the water. He’d succeeded in finding something.

Cesare swallowed, “Is it out? Is it spreading?” Ezra shook his head no, “But, I can’t figure it out. I can’t figure it out.” He sobbed, “What have I done?” Cesare didn’t know how to make it better. He looked at the [entrance](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/76/64/08/7664083834beaa034511d50d75f31119.jpg) of the house in more detail.

He turned, looking at Ezra and decided he’d join him, “I….my papa and I nearly burned down the gallery.” Ezra snorted and started to chuckle, “Is that what all those sirens were about?”

“Yeah, Hannahlore and Gio were livid.’

“Bet so, it’s right next to their shops and stuff!”

“They could have calmed down a little.”

“Ha, says you, the hothead!”

“Shut up.” Cesare popped him and Ezra smiled softly, “I am become death.” Cesare couldn’t accept that, “No, Ezra. You could never be anything that dark.”

He pushed off the floor and motioned to Cesare, “Let’s look around. I’m completely in love with it.”

***

Over the following months Cesare and Ezra saw each other daily, communicated via text, or called each other. They had always fought over text and kept shit going with phone calls that taunted the other. But, this was new. Cesare was helping him restore the house by repainting and re creating timeless pieces touched and faded by time.

Cesare was meeting the Smiths and his siblings for lunch. Zev was still out of the country. He pulled up to the restaurant, Acre, and saw Aviva in the window. She was home for Hanukkah and Christmas. The families just ended up coming together for both but the more annoyed called it “winter break.” Gisela was in town, Nikko, Mila, and Tuvia too. They were all happily reunited with Bellamy, Bianca, and Gio rounding out the household for Jean and Marco.

Bellamy was with Alexi and Lilly at the bar when he entered. He hugged Bellamy and gave him a kiss on the cheek, “I have missed you.” Bellamy smiled like Marco and Lilly hugged Cesare around his neck, “You’re doing well?”

“Yeah, what about you?”

“Fabulous. Russia loves what I make just as much as they love my brother.”

Alexi winked at the bartender and then turned to Cesare, “Women love me, too.”

“I don’t doubt it. Are the Ackermanns coming?’

“Yeah, and so is Sebastian.”

Everyone was quiet, “I never saw that coming.” Cesare said the words and everyone nodded, “No one did.” When Gisela and Aviva went to France for school they were 16. Then the tightening of the noose began on Europe and Jews were persecuted again. When they were 18, their lives were changed forever. Four months in, the restrictions came for Jews and the darkness settled in on France and other countries in Europe. Then America turned her back.

Yoni had fought for over a year to have it overturned and when both girls had finished their degrees they were 19 and both went to Austria. Aviva and Gisela traveled between Austria and Russia performing. When they were 20, Gisela started going to Israel more and more while Zev and Keita came to Austria more and more. Aviva wanted to be in Russia.

Now, at 21, Zev and Gisela were not together and whoever she dated that had made her so happy was out of the picture. Keita was still longing and the kids were all confused because she’d been dating Sebastian Lenz since the beginning of the year when she was 20. She had chose to be with him instead of come home to celebrate with her brother. She _chose_ Sebastian over Judah. None of them understood.

Gisela walked in with Sebastian and ran to hug Cesare, “Where is Ezra?” She was smiling and Cesare thought it was odd she was asking him, “Um at the lab.” Ezra rarely left the lab but when he did he went to his house and Cesare and he would spend long quiet hours working on it and ordering things. It was nice. “How is the art going?’

Ugh, art…

After they went to Little Moscow he’d been delayed in going to Atlanta. There were riots, talk of self-ghettoization. It was something Maria had pioneered: self-ghettoization. Erwin was called in to talk to the people in control in Atlanta and Montgomery. It was something he was being targeted for.

Cesare had given up on his cut outs for now. He hated them and had nothing else to show. He’d been painting a lot lately and told Jean that he’d have to cancel. “Ray, you can’t. I...just let me look at the paintings.” Cesare grew embarrassed, “No… there are private ones.” Jean pouted, “Come on, man.” Jean went into the studio and whistled, “Um, Cesare….” Cesare moved inside and pulled him out. He slammed the door, “I’m just...it’s not what it looks like I’m just… I’m like…” 

“I get it. I did it. I do it.”

“You do?’

“Yeah, you know….if you want to talk I’m always here for you. I love you. Don’t worry about saying or doing something that bothers me.” 

“Am I gay?’

“What?”

“Like, am I gay for painting stuff like that.”

“Only you know your sexuality, Cesare. I can’t tell you that. You’ve dated girls from church. Are you telling me you...do you want to tell me about your sex life?”

Cesare stared, “I’ve never slept with anyone.”

Jean looked shocked, “Um, oh. Are you saving yourself for marriage?”

“I just fooled around but I never really wanted to have sex with them. It wasn’t serious dating.” 

Jean nodded his head but sort of panicked, “So, why do you think you’re gay?”

Cesare shrugged, “I don’t know. I don’t know what I am or think I am. I guess I just never really thought about it that much and just focused on my work. But, i’ve started painting things like that in there and I wonder if I paint it because that’s what I secretly am attracted to.”

Jean walked back towards the room, “Maybe, and I’m no expert, you’re just not one of those people who want to sleep with everyone? Maybe you’re not looking for that because you want more. Maybe, what you’ve done here is just express deeper emotions of admiration? I think maybe you admire things shown in the paintings and these qualities are what attracts you to a person more than just what package they come in.”

Cesare felt deflated, “So, I’m attracted to minds and not people.”

”That’s possible. Artists, if you think about it, are attracted to beauty. We find that in many ways and in many people. I think that if you had found those girls as….stimulating in personality and mind as you do this muse then you’d have had more success in sex. Or maybe, son, you just don’t want sex and that’s okay. Maybe you want a sexless partnership or to not have a partner.”

Cesare looked devastated. He wiped tears from his face, “But, that makes me feel like such a broken person. Like, what’s wrong with me? Why is it so easy for other people, papa? Why do others go out and have one nightstands or lock eyes with someone and just flirt. It’s like everyone is leading with their sexuality, their intent to have sex. It’s so debased in a way. I don’t feel safe or comfortable with that.”

“I don’t like the pressure to have to immediately decide if I want to sleep with someone. I just want time.” Cesare was really upset, “I just want time to get to know someone. I want a plan. I want security and freedom. I need that freedom. Do you understand what I’m saying? I don’t even understand what I’m saying. I’m shit. I feel like shit.”

Jean grabbed ahold of him and stroked his back while he cried, “Go ask your dad about my commitment issues. I was all gung hoe to be with him but when it came to getting married.” He whistled, “It took him coming home with Bellamy to make me really understand that I wanted to be with him legally like that. I can’t relate to the sex and attraction thing but sex isn't about just having an orgasm. It’s personal and way of strengthening a relationship. It’s about becoming closer. It’s not being an animal but you know, after you meet someone you love you like being an animal with them sometimes.” He chuckled and Cesare felt a little better. 

They decided to take everything they had to the show. Judah and Gisela’s birthday was the same weekend and they all decided to meet in Atlanta. She wasn’t coming because Sebastian had surprised her and took her to Majorca. Judah was pitiful.

“I wish he’d die.” Armin pulled his head to his chest, “Now, there’s no need in that. We’ll have fun. She’s coming for winter break and you know you only care if she’s having fun.” Judah looked like an abused puppy. Ezra leaned on him, he cleared his throat and began to sing, “In the armssss of the angels!”

“STAHP!”

“far away from HERE!”

“stahhhhhhhpppppp”

“IN THIS STARK, COLD HOTEL ROOM”

“GODDAMNIT!”

“AND THE ENNNDLESSNESS THAT’CHA FEEL!”

“YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW THE LYRICS!”

Armin petted his head, “Your brother LOVES you!” Judah looked at Ezra and smiled, “He’s pretty cool.” Ezra smiled back and gave him a brotherly kiss. Armin continued to dote on Judah while Erwin stared jealously. He looked like an old anime character with blue and black lines of depression over him. “Baaaaby, I need some attention.”

Armin cut his eyes over, “You get nothing.”

Levi snorted and pulled into the parking deck, “You can sleep on the couch.”

Erwin frowned, “Well, I guess no one appreciates that I've set up for Judah to go see Gisela BEFORE winter break.” That definitely made Judah a lot nicer to Erwin. * 

They changed and went to the opening that Cesare had been reluctant to invite them to. Jean had countless patrons and Cesare’s following was great as well. Krista and Ymir showed up, speaking to Eren and Levi while bidding on works that they’d submitted for charity. Krista asked if Judah was interested in expanding his club but he said no. He didn’t have time for them since their son was hogging his sister.

Ezra walked around with Erwin looking at the paintings, “I miss Zev.” Yoni and Hannahlore were walking arm in arm. Erwin smiled, “I haven’t gotten to speak to him hardly at all. I wanted Gisela to come home and see if she could fill me in on why.” Gio and Bianca walked up and asked what they were talking about. Gio and Bianca exchanged worried glances, “Well, he doesn’t speak to Gisela anymore.”

Erwin looked flabbergasted, “What?!” Ezra stepped in to end it, “No, she means they don’t speak as often either. Daddy, look over at that painting. Is that us?”

They all moved into another room and in many of the paintings were people resembling members in their family. There were so many to look at but Levi and Eren were drawn to the ones of a certain person in their family. Jean and Marco joined them, “Did you do these?” Levi pointed at the paintings, “No, Cesare did these. He did a cut out of our entire town and ghetto. He asked me to hide his paintings among mine. I think you know why.”

Levi and Eren looked at the paintings. Levi’s lips were on Eren’s neck and he smiled softly, “I guess it makes sense. They always were similar.”

Ezra blushed as he looked at some of the paintings. Judah joined him, “This is very flattering.” Ezra blushed, “What?” Judah smiled, “Ezra, come on.”

“It’s a little weird uncle Jean did paintings of me.”

Judah deadpanned, “You can be so dumb sometimes. Jean didn’t do these.”

Ezra blushed, “Oh...oh….really?”

“Really, brother.”

”I….feel strange.”

Judah raised an eyebrow, “Good strange or?”

Ezra was flustered, “I mean...he hates me.”

Judah put a hand on his shoulder, “Are you so sure? You two have been spending time together lately.”

“We still fight.”

“I like to fight. It makes the sex better.”

Ezra turned even more red, “We don’t.”

Judah blinked, “Are you a virgin? A twenty three year old virgin? Are you asexual?”

“NO! I like men. I just…. I just don’t drop my pants for anyone.” 

“You’re fucking adorable.”

“Fuck off man, I’ve fooled around but I’m just not into random hookups. I want a partner. Not a one night stand. I’m just wired different.”

Judah kissed his cheek, “Maybe Cesare is too?”

Ezra’s chest hurt. He had been looking at Cesare more and more. He was handsome, strong willed, independent, creative, and broody. Maybe brooding was the best word. Cesare was a pessimist and that was fine with him. Sometimes he was too hopeful. He took risks because he believed he could save the world.

Ezra started thinking about blood and the animals at the clinic again.

He saw Cesare standing nervously among the crowd and looking at him. He held eye contact with him. There was something there, a spark. Cesare wondered if Ezra would be a good kisser. Ezra wondered if the boy he’d once held under the water in the JCC swimming pool still had abs of steel and a large bulge.

Both were suddenly aware that their inappropriate thoughts were not suited for the venue they were at.

*

They had celebrated Judah’s birthday and then sometime later Aviva came home. She was off, moody, and reckless. Erwin and Armin were worried about her and thus, asked if Ezra would look out for her. He’d agreed. He loved Aviva and her sweet nature with animals. Yoni was just too heavy handed with her and while she loved him for him, she didn’t like being tracked. Lore made him promise to not smother.

She appeared at the clinic while he was working on things for Nikko. She paused when he hid some of the files on his computer, “I guess you keep secrets too.” She said it sadly and he looked at her, “I’m just self conscious.” She nodded her head and they heard the door open, “Hey Ezra.” Judah looked at him and then to her, “Bitch.” She scowled and Ezra turned around, “What do you need?” 

Judah had a cage, “I’ve got animals that need attention.” Ezra smiled, “Awww well you’ve brought it to the right place.” Aviva stood haughtily, “I can’t believe you did something good. You don’t have a soul.” He sneered, “Shut up, demoness. You’re the soul sucking wench in this family. Here.” He handed it to her and she looked like she might scream, “Why are you handing it to me!?”

Ezra stepped forward, “Maybe I should take it.”

Judah’s stare was hard and icy, “No. She needs to be the one that opens it. It’s for her.”

He turned to walk out of the lab and Ezra was left scratching his head. “Well, I guess if it’s a rabid animal he’ll get his way when it bites me.” She opened the little mesh door and paused. Ezra grew concerned, “Oh no, is it dead?”

She looked at the door where he’d left and she seemed lost in deep thought. Then she smiled slightly, ever so slightly and Ezra grew more worried, “No, it’s not.” She opened the zipper and carefully, gently, pulled out one of the wrapped baby bats, “OH MY GOD! SO CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE! OH LITTLE SNOOTLE DOOPLE POOFLE!” Ezra smiled brightly, “Awwwwwww and they’re wrapped properly. He does listen.” Aviva held the bats, fed them, and loved on them. Ezra understood why Judah had given them to her but not really. Why would Judah do anything nice to Aviva? He must have really felt a soft spot for these bats and knew she’d take great care of them. “I’m naming them.”

“What?”

“Monroe and Manson.”

Ezra was at a loss for words, “How about Mason.”

“No, Manson. Judah brought them in. He’s into serial killers.”

“Um, okay.”

Ezra had told Judah that night what she’d named him and he’d only snorted and then grimaced.

Some things never change.

*

Cesare had appeared after work one day, “Want to go on a run to the coffee shop?” Ezra blinked, “The one over the highway?!” 

“NO! THE ONE BY YOUR HOUSE, IDIOT! We can drive over and park, then run. Afterwards, we can get coffee and then unpack some furniture.”

Ezra fiddled with his jacket, “Sure.” They drove over and Ezra changed at the house. He had a few things there and Levi and Eren were taking it hard already. They both stretched and Cesare turned to him to smile smugly, “I bet I can beat you to the four corners.” Ezra laughed shortly, “As if. It's all uphill.”

Ezra thought a second longer, ”Let's put money on it.”

”Better yet let's see who buys dinner.”

Both boys were ready to run, their competitive nature rearing it's head. 

*

Gio platted the food and smiled, “This is the special tonight.” He was so handsome and likeable that it was no wonder his restaurant was doing well. Marco came running in to pick up food. Then Maxim. Levi wasn't too far behind. It seemed that great minds think alike. 

Giovanni and Delaine were sitting up in the balcony overseeing everything. They ate their food and laughed while Zadkiel, Vadimas, and Vared joined them. Zadkiel was winking at a girl who was dancing in the corner cafe. Both Cesare and Ezra found it amusing. 

A few girls sat down at the bar with them and tried to charm them. They were nice, sweet, freshly eighteen. Ezra told endless stories about baby pigs and goats while Cesare pouted like a tsundere baby because they wouldn't leave. After a while, Gio sent them drinks from a table and they went to join those men.

“You know, Ezra, no one has made a peep about anything.”

Ezra looked at the food being made in the kitchen, “Yeah, not a peep.” Cesare moved his glass on the counter, “Nikko hasn't said anything else?”

”No.” 

“Well, at least we know it's done.”

“Stay over at the house. We can watch soccer and poker.” Cesare snorted, “No thanks, that's for Alexi and Judah. If we can watch Cupcake Wars I'm in.” Ezra pouted and Cesare rolled his eyes, “And animal planet.” Ezra smiled, “Thanks. We can set up the guest room.” Cesare had just finished that room at Ezra’s request. Why he'd want it finished before anything else was strange. 

Cesare and Ezra watched TV on the new couch with the plastic still on it. They ate pizza and had a relatively quiet evening. When they decided to go to bed, Ezra changed and went to an unfinished room in the house. Cesare naturally followed, “What’s this?” Ezra had a mini lab set up, “Don’t come in!” Cesare stepped back out, “What?”

“The room is rigged with traps. I have some semi-important information in here and I want it protected.”

“Then leave it at the clinic.”

“I don’t trust the interns.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, so I split it up. They can’t find out what it is with it split.”

Cesare felt fidgety for some reason. There was a virus or something like that in the room here and Ezra was being potentially exposed to it everyday. He pulled on Ezra to leave the room, “Come on. Don’t push yourself even more than you have to.” Ezra didn’t fight him and left the room. He walked over to his room that was still bear, “I like when you stay over. It can get pretty empty here.”

Cesare looked at the ground, “Cool.”

_What the fuck, that’s so lame._

Ezra smiled, “Yeah man, cool. I’m going to try and take a shower and go to sleep.” He walked into his room and Cesare felt bad for the sleeping bag and air mattress he had on his floor. Cesare eventually convinced him to start working on the master bedroom. He spent more and more time at the house from then on.

Now, he was being asked by Gisela where the little puppy dog named Ezra was.

Gisela smiled brightly, “Well, I guess we should all sit down and at least get some appetizers. We booked the dining room so we’d have privacy.” She looked for Sebastian but then Judah was there. He gave her such a look that they all turned their faces away. Judah and Gisela were inseparable but someone was finally coming between that.

They sat down at the dinner table and ordered drinks while laughing and catching up. Ezra called Nikko and he excused himself to go pick him up from the clinic. Mila ordered for him and Yoni laughed loudly as Alexi retold a story of fans getting out of hand at a game in Crimea. Cesare rekindled his unspoken love of Bianca who was both beautiful and wry. She looked at the menu but cast it aside, “I just want the chef to make me something. Anything. I don’t care.”

She cut her eyes over at Tuvia and he rolled his, “You’re so high maintenance. Take a shot with me.” He held his hand up and asked for whisky and honey, she asked why, “Because you burn like whiskey and stick like honey.” She stuck her tongue out at him while they threw them back till tipsy. Hannahlore and her brother laughed and he asked about her trying to get pregnant. They’d been married almost a year and a half but she still wasn’t having any luck, “I’m going to see Hanji this week. She’s had issues and I like her perspective.”

Keita kissed her head. He wanted his sister to be happy. When Yoni turned to him he gave a small look of sadness. Keita could only imagine how upset Hannahlore must get when they were alone. Yoni pulled her closer and Keita wondered if he should bring up the fact that they did have use of the wombs.

*

Nikko was freezing but he got inside of the car anyway and quickly drove to the clinic. When he pulled up he saw his baba in the opening holding a calf in his arms, “Baba! Isn’t that heavy?” He smiled brightly, “Not as heavy as your aba. You’re supposed to be a kid dinner. You know, the one none of us got invited to?” Nikko smiled and pet the calf, “I’m here to get Ezra.” Eren nodded his head, “Well, he’s coming out right now.”

The door opened and Ezra made a chilled face, “BUUUURRRRRR!” He kissed Eren and hugged Nikko fully, “Let’s go.” They said goodbye to their father and got in the car. Nikko turned his seat warmer on and the music in the car, “How is the research going?” Ezra sighed, “I’m always afraid.” Nikko nodded, “I am too. I think I’ve convinced Mila to look at a job here at the hospital and the school.” Ezra smiled, “You got Gisela off to Austria, Aviva with her and maybe Russia, and now you’ll get Mila to the US. You sure are a caring soul.”

Nikko blushed, “I just want to do the right thing.”

They were almost at the restaurant when Ezra became more on edge, “Nikko, how do men have sex?” Nikko almost wrecked the car but that was only on the inside. On the outside, his hands merely tightened on the steering wheel, “Well, I’ve never had sex with a man. Why do you ask?” Ezra frowned, “Well, I wanted to know how it works.”

Nikko paused, pulling up in the parking lot, “I'm just not really versed in the logistics of it all. Let me think about it.” Ezra was embarrassed but smiled, “Thanks. I tried to look at porn but it was scary and yucky.” Nikki laughed, “You don't watch porn?”

“No! DO YOU?!”

“I mean...I have. I….let’s just go inside and eat!

They went inside and Gisela squealed in delight. He sat across from Cesare and they didn’t really look at each other.

*

It was Hanukah and Gisela spun the dreidel laughing. She had such a smile on her face. Levi and Eren were in the corner and Erwin and Armin were next to them. They were all watching her and Judah drank heavily while Aviva seemed to squirm with a fake plastered smile on and nervous twitch. They stood next to each other and Ezra noticed something was off. Cesare was looking around confused too. He locked eyes with Ezra and they both gave each other shrugs of acknowledgement and mutual suspicion. 

Yoni and Hannahlore drank white wine while Mikasa and David held hands. It was clear that everyone was watching Gisela like something was about to happen.

“YES! GIMMEL! I get it all!” She turned, smiling radiantly to Sebastian who was now on his knees, “Yeah, would you like to add my heart to that?” She looked down at the[ring](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e1/1f/99/e11f99cdf5e382d15af5b70db2268666.jpg) and then back to Sebastian. Sebastian Lenz lived down the hall of her apartment complex in Austria. He was her everything now and the family had to accept that. His parents were less than desireable.

She took a deep breath. Ezra watched as her hand went to the pendant [necklace](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/7a/34/0f/7a340f2b014ef0b8b8ee452e366acb91.jpg) that was her favorite. Zev had got that for her when she was seventeen and performed in Israel. It was something that she often wore and it had cost a fortune according to Levi and Erwin who had it insured for her.

She smiled, “Yes! YES!” She squealed and when he stood up she jumped in his arms. Everyone was cheering, taking pictures, smiling. Armin took a sip of his champagne and raised his eyebrows to Erwin.

Later, Ezra overheard them speaking about it.

Armin sat down next to Eren while Erwin kissed Levi shortly across from them. Levi’s eyes were cunning, “The ring was nice. Very Gisela but a little like what Judah gets her all the time.” Armin didn’t say anything but Erwin looked at him pointedly, “Yes, it suited her. I wonder how long it took him to pick that one out.”

Eren looked at Armin because he knew something was up. Armin mumbled, “Because I picked that ring out.” Levi’s eyes widened, “What?” Armin shrugged, ‘He came in and he picked out the worst things I’ve ever seen.” Erwin pushed, “But, a ring sort of speaks to someone about their partner.” Armin looked him in the eye, “Nothing spoke to Sebastian Lenz.” Ezra had felt uncomfortable to say the least. His sister was so happy.

There was fighting in the kitchen, Nikko went to stop it. Ezra just wanted to fade into the family like normal. He kept thinking about the clinic, about his goals, “Sit with me?” Bellamy smiled and Ezra nodded and they went outside. Bellamy was such a breath of fresh air, “How’s life?” Ezra laughed, “Um, well, you asked me that a few weeks ago so I think you know.” Bellamy shrugged, “I’m wondering what you’re researching.” Ezra’s guard was up, “I’m just looking at some stuff that I thought was feline lymphoma.” 

Bellamy looked at him, “I’m going back to Siberia.” 

“Sounds neat. Why not Ukraine?’

“I’ll go back there, too. But, first there’s something going on in Siberia. You ever wonder while so many people are coming over here from Siberia?”

“I wonder what’s happening with the money we send for poor animals.”

“Ezra, damn...you just want to be a vet and stick to the normal shit, right?”

“Yep. I want nothing to do with anything ridiculous. Blame my genetics. Aba doesn’t like bullshit and nor do I. Is it so wrong I want to stay in Maria and work a normal job and just...exist? I mean, I don’t take a shit on all of y’alls travels and parent anxiety inducing bullshit!”

Bellamy laughed, “Okay, point made. Sorry.”

“Damn right. Don’t make me bust your ass.”

“Like you even could. Listen, if you want to ever leave the clinic and have a chat, I’m here for you. Till then, let’s do shots.”

Bellamy didn’t seem like a drinker but he could put people to shame. Ezra agreed and the night got much better.

*

In the morning he woke up with Nikko turning him over, “I thought you were choking. You were just dreaming that same dream.” Ezra smiled, his head hurt terribly, “Was I a dog again?” Nikko smiled, he was so handsome just like Levi, “Yep. You were. And, you know I love you, right?” Ezra nodded, “OK, so forgive me brother.” He left and Ezra didn’t understand what was going on.

Eren came in after him, “Are you hungover?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, I love you and heard you needed more information about having sex with men. I gave you the talk and it was mostly about women so this is interesting. I thought your aba could join in. He’s less than thrilled but you know, when is he ever?” Eren smiled and Levi walked in with condoms, a donut, a banana, and bottles of lube, “It’s gunna get real, son.”

*

Ezra felt scared but he also knew he’d made a breakthrough at the clinic. His research had successfully narrowed the mutation down to certain genes. He felt scared that one mistake could unleash another plague but he needed to leave the realm of animals and enter that of humans. He called Mila and Nikko over to the lab.

“The problem is, I can’t find anyway to treat this once it infects someone. I can’t figure out the key to mapping the genome and I just don’t understand why we’re immune to it.” Mila and Nikko were fascinated by it all, “I need copies, brother.” He leaned over and made a few notes on his note pad, “Mila, can you take care of the legwork over here when I return to France.”

She looked up, “When you return…”

Ezra looked at her face and then back to Nikko’s. He felt very torn and didn’t know what to do or say. He decided to do nothing and felt guilty about it. She turned cold and left to head to the hospital while Nikko sat quietly, “I’ve noticed that more and more patients from the midwest are showing some sort of plague like symptoms. I have seen it in France. I’m not sure what is going yet. The patterns indicate that some people are disposed to it, almost like other’s have more of resistance, closer to our own genetic resistance while others do not.”

Nikko looked over at him, “When we figure this out...if you figure it out...you’ll give it to Mila first, right? Promise me that. Promise me she can have the vaccine first.” Ezra’s chest was tight. He thought about how Cesare wasn’t naturally immune to it. Nikko saw his hesitation, “Well, I guess you should inject the person you love first.” Ezra looked at him, “Do you love Mila?”

Nikko was serious and kept writing away in his book of secrets.

*

Cesare tapped his foot nervously against the floor. He had staged the house while Ezra was out hoping to surprise him. It didn’t make sense. Why would he feel the need to finish the house? Well, maybe because he’d painted and restored much of it. He heard Ezra try to open the door and ran to it, ‘Stop! Stop! Let me open it. Close your eyes! I’ve got a surprise for you!” He opened the door and Ezra hurriedly closed his eyes. 

Cesare lost his temper, “I TOLD YOU TO CLOSE THEM AND YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE IT BEFORE I OPENED THE DOOR!”

“SORRY!”

“Okay, open them.” Cesare watched as the light lit up Ezra’s face in awe. “Cesare!” He looked at the [staircase](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a7/58/55/a75855a75d2a8daf951d4e54f2a66ac3.jpg), the [dining room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/49/a6/ee/49a6eee6533a70491ef0d0d6651d7da8.jpg), the [fireplace](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/6b/e0/c5/6be0c50645fb5a7e2e436600ba24de0a.jpg) in the den, the [kitchen](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/10/df/0f/10df0f20ee93eaefba5818bc9b78f7a9.jpg), the coffee [nook](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/eb/15/48/eb1548a4176d29a17fce24773f51417d.jpg), the [sunroom](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ff/a4/7a/ffa47abcc6b8609d5e6c84bd8d73beb1.jpg), the master [bathroom](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/d3/19/47/d31947912cff8a25255a3d6c3cb67d29.jpg), guest [room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/27/8a/44/278a4454a302b298621dcf823a8b9060.jpg), and then the master [bedroom](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/16/ad/e5/16ade5160ed943d505bd79ed21c703b2.jpg). Ezra was obsessed with the master bedroom, “How did you do this? This is amazing! I would have never picked some of these things that you did and I love them!”

Cesare smiled, “I picked things I liked and I guess I figured everything else was sort of dark and this was light while preserving a lot of that character.” Ezra turned to look at him, “You know what this means?” Cesare shrugged, “No more long hours?” Ezra smiled bigger, “No, I CAN ADOPT SOME ANIMALS!”

Cesare and Ezra decided to order some food and watch movies. They both liked animated films but Cesare was more brooding documentary and Ezra was comedy with lots of fluff. They did, oddly enough, both love historical dramas, “Let's start Versailles!” Cesare pretended to give a hard time but relented. When their food arrived, Connie and Sasha had written a note, “Congratulations on moving in together! House warming gift to follow!”

Ezra didn't know what to think so he left it for Cesare to find and ask him about it. Cesare tore it up after he saw it, too afraid to bring it up. He sat on the couch with Ezra in the den and they were both quiet.

Ezra opened a bottle of wine and it turned into three as they marathoned. Cesare leaned his head on the back of the couch while Ezra slowly slid over into the side of him, his head resting on Cesare’s shoulder. Cesare had nearly fallen asleep but the warmth provided by Ezra’s body made him crave more. He put his arm around him, wine making him less self conscious, and pulled him as close as he could.

Ezra liked it and felt like he being shown some sort of affection he'd been starved of. Cesare holding him to him was a lot to Ezra. He often was affectionate with his animals and though, he kissed and hugged his brothers and sister he wasn't a cuddler with any of them. He turned his face and buried it in Cesare’s neck enjoying his smell and warmth. 

They turned the TV off but when they went to bed, Cesare walked Ezra into his bedroom and climbed in. They were groggy, drunk, tired. He got in and said nothing. Instead, they huddled together under the covers like when they went camping as boys and had to share a tent. 

*

Ezra woke up to the sound of Cesare slightly whimpering. His face was red, brow sweaty. He looked scared in his sleep. Ezra smoothed his hand on his back like Baba always did and that seemed to calm him. He moved closer, his face inches.away inspecting his friend.

He smoothed the hair back off if his face. Ezra had a clenching in his stomach he didn't understand. It was like the first time he really looked at him and realized how handsome he was. He had a beautiful face, all the Kirschstein-Bodts were beautiful if they were being honest. What with their perfect tan skin, freckles, golden highlights or dark beauty brunette hair. Bianca’s lips were legendary and she was a top model. So, why was Ezra just now noticing that Cesare wasn't just cute as he'd stupidly said in Little Moscow but actually sexully appealing? Maybe, he was overcome that he actually wanted to have sex with someone and that person was the same person who'd shoved his face in mud and made him eat it when they were kids. 

Ezra’s breathing was heavy. It was strange. When he'd fooled around before it was robotic and he felt like he was a person inside of himself. His body was just acting on its own. When he kissed someone he often sat somewhere in the back of his mind detached. He would be concentrating on what he thought he should be feeling and if he was or wasn't. This time, he wanted to not think so much. He felt like something was happening and he hadn't even kissed him. 

His face was now next to Cesare’s and his lips nearly brushing against his. He was so nervous, worried, anxious, and maybe, even excited. Could this be what felt right? Could he be what was right for him? 

Ezra’s heart skipped a beat and he pressed his lips against Cesare’s.

He woke up.

Cesare pushed him away, red in the face, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

Ezra’s body was on lockdown. He froze, unsure what to do. He’d kissed someone without their permission. Obviously, no matter what the intent, he’d have been caught off guard and upset. Ezra moved backwards and off the bed, “Sorry.” He went into the bathroom and shut the door. Ezra was confused.

Cesare was still in the bed and equally confused. He was groggy from drinking and now his body was on fire. _That little freak kissed me._ The more he thought of it the more angry he got. He stood up, running to the door. He started banging on it, ‘HEY! WHAT’S THE BIG IDEA KISSIN’ SOMEONE WHILE THEY'RE SLEEPING?! I’M NOT FUCKING SLEEPING BEAUTY!”

He opened the door and Ezra was in the shower, “I SAID SORRY! GET OUT!” Cesare ripped the door open, “WHY DID YOU KISS ME?!” Ezra was embarrassed and scared, “I dunno…” Cesare didn’t even understand that, “You dunno?! YOU _DUNNO_!?” Ezra was turning red, “I SAID I DUNNO SO I DUNNO! LET ME TAKE A SHOWER! I’M SORRY!”

“WHY?”

“GET OUT YOU ASSHOLE!”

He slammed the door shut and went to his room. Cesare was fuming as he washed himself and put on new clothes. He didn’t have anything to do today and he couldn’t get over it. He couldn’t believe he’d been kissed by stupid obnoxious Ezra. He also couldn’t believe he was as ripped as he was when he’d seen him in the shower.

Ezra quickly dressed and decided to cook some breakfast. He was sure Cesare had left since he’d been pretty lit. He walked into his kitchen when he saw him at the counter brooding over some oatmeal, “Do you want some?” Ezra stared, “Sure...I’ll make omelets.” Cesare perked up, “Good. Hand me the blackberries in the fridge. I got them the other day on sale. Bianca was perplexed that in winter we had some. She’s so spoiled in Italy.”

Ezra started to cook the omelet. He made two and then went to wash the fruit off before putting some in Cesare’s oatmeal and then his own. They sat at the counter and ate in silence. It wasn’t too bad. They made some decaf coffee, they both tended to do that when they thought about taking naps that day. Cesare became more and more edgy as the day went on. They read, they watched the TV passively, they looked at home owner’s insurance plans for fun. 

Ezra started looking at the links Hannahlore had on their group chat for baby stuff. He was looking for her but also for himself. Cesare came back from the bathroom and walked around the couch, “You, um….you wanna kiss me again?” Ezra’s body was suddenly very hot, “Um What?”

Cesare was mumbling, grinding his words with his teeth, “You errrm wanna kiss me again? Like...when I’m awake?”

Ezra stood up suddenly and fidgeted with his hands, “Um...yeah...like a lot.” Cesare walked forward, “Okay.” He stopped suddenly and awkwardly motioned to himself, “Well,” he was getting flustered, “KISS ME!” Ezra was immediately put on edge, “DON’T PRESSURE ME!”

Ezra moved forward and smashed their lips together roughly. Cesare made a small noise in the back of his throat as Ezra surprised himself and committed fully. He wasn’t thinking at all. Cesare started to relax and he found himself interested in the smaller things like his smell, the way his bottom teeth were perfectly straight, and the small hums of approval emboldened Cesare. Was Ezra enjoying kissing him?

He pulled him closer and they kissed slowly. It was heated but both boys were afraid to push anything. They’d never enjoyed kissing someone before like this. This was enough for right now. Ezra pulled back and took a deep breath, his body was shaking, “D-ddid you like it?” Cesare smirked, “Yeah, but from how badly you're shaking I’d say you really liked it.”

Ezra tried to leave his hold but Cesare pulled him closer, “No, please don’t go. Let’s just keep on kissing.” Ezra hid his face in his chest, “You’re such an ass.” Cesare smiled, “Please?” Ezra looked upwards, he looked just like Eren and Cesare thought that might have something to do with it all, “Okay but let’s go back to bed and do it. I’m kind of feeling a nap come on.” He smiled and they kissed shortly before returning to where it all started that day.

***

The wedding date had been set for Gisela’s and Sebastian’s wedding. There was an engagement party with all of the family save for Zev and Tuvia. Krista and Ymir made a big deal about paying for it and Levi and Eren had just let them. If they want to control that then fine. Ezra had been asked to help Nikko and Judah put some sort of speech together and Ezra had had to drop out. He was making strides in isolating the genes, the blood types, and he’d even figured out what was maybe leading to the outbreaks in patients.

He pulled out some of the dishes and his phone went off. He saw it was Cesare, “Hey?”

“Ez, where are you?’

Ezra didn't have time to answer, “Mon canard, I’m wondering why you’re not here yet. I’m in need someone else to be awkwardly hostile with.”

“Did you call me your little duck?”

“Don’t read into it. I call you mon puce, too.”

“My little flea? But, it means sweetheart. Am...are we...erm what?”

“S-s-t-op it! DAMN, JUST COME ON! YOU’RE ALWAYS SO FUCKING LATE!”

“I’M WORKING!”

“I’ll come get you if you don’t come right now. Reiner is about to start a riot if Krista and Ymir don’t livin this shit up.”

“I just...made a breakthrough. I’ll be there shortly.”

“I’ll send Bell to get you.”

“Cesare! Stop! I’m coming!”

Cesare facetimed him to make sure he was actually leaving. Ezra locked everything up. Changed his passwords like normal and turned the light off. Cesare looked nice, clean, handsome. Ezra liked that he was always clean and smelled good. He’d been sleeping in the master bedroom with him the past two months. They enjoyed kissing each other at the end of a long day.

When he got to the party Oskar was dancing with Mila while Hanji sat with Levi and kissed the sides of his face. Eren didn't seem to care much and he and Armin were in a corner giving each other bedroom looks while Erwin and Reiner laughed and turned the music up. 

Gisela danced and kissed Sebastian but for the dinner she sat with Judah and Aviva. Aviva was trying to not steal any spotlight but Gisela fawned over her making Krista and Ymir take notice. Judah drank heavily. He'd stopped doing hardcore drugs or any at all. But, drinking was still bad for him.

Aviva exchanged angry looks with him through the night. When Ezra sat down she was talking shit about him drinking and he was losing it. “Fuck off, you nasty fox cuntess.” She smiled wickedly, “I love being a nasty fox cuntess! At least I have smarts and cunning. What do you have, mutt?” Ezra called timeout and Bianca came over, “Let's talk, Ezra.” Both Judah and Aviva seemed simmered down so he agreed. He didn't get it. When would they finally stop fighting? He and Cesare were never that way, that mean, that below the belt. Bianca gave a haughty glance to Sebastian’s friends, “They keep hitting on me and wanting nudes.”

Ezra was pissed, “I'll handle that.” She shrugged, “It's always the same.” Bellamy and Yoni approached them and Ezra smiled, “Oh, looks like I don't have to. A Smith and a Kirschstein-Bodt walk into a bar…” He smirked and she laughed, “And nothing. Don't bring none, won't be none.” She got serious, “You and Ray live together now?”

Ezra nodded his head, “I mean, he left some stuff at his place.” She smiled, “He's really happy, Ezra. I can tell. He misses you when you're at work. His paintings are selling like hot cakes and his cut outs are more pointed and political. He's stable, comfortable, and he's more domestic and less artsy vagabond. I hear he's even sleeping more.”

Ezra shrugged shyly and she kissed his cheek, “I’m glad that you two are finally getting along. You’re both such cuties. Too bad you won’t have the first grandchildren.” He was a little disappointed that everyone else was having babies but he’d not thought of having them with Cesare. Now that he was he started to lose himself in how adorable those kids would be, “I want a baby.” Bianca snorted, ‘God knows I don’t. I’m too busy for that responsibility.”

Oskar came to sit and so did Hanji. Bianca excused herself to go stand with Yoni and Alexi. Alexi was crushing hard on Bianca and thought he could get her attention. Oskar leaned on Ezra, “Little Ezra, tell us about the packages that Mila used to send you.” Hanji pressed on his other side, “And all that research you’re doing. Maybe we want to know so we can help. I hear Nikko takes on some of your sample testing in our labs at the hospital.” Oskar put his arm around him, “You wouldn’t hide something from us, would you? We want to help protect the population of the ghetto, of the world.”

Ezra was bound by Nikko’s words, “It’s just cancer in cats. I thought there was a mutation that could be transmitted through a virus, just a cold you know, to humans. I thought it would be a hot virus. I’m still working on it because I see the potential. It’s under control and those cats sadly have passed on.”

Hanji looked over to Mila and she was giving her mother a very disapproving look. Hanji sighed, “Well, Ezra, I think you may work with animals but you know we live by an oath. If you don’t want to tell us something then at least tell Levi or even Vadimas. These are still dark times. We’re getting better but it’s still dark.”

She looked a little older than when he’d last looked at her. She was still so pretty and [she](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/b3/85/2b/b3852b17cf00585e3a5c01774a872d0b.jpg) was dressed to the 9s. Ezra looked at her hand. She had a ring on her ring finger. It was important for a few reasons. One, Hanji didn’t take her wedding band off for almost six years after Mike went missing. She also didn’t stop wearing the engagement ring. Then, after Mila went to France almost seven years ago, she switched it to the right hand ring finger. Now, on her left hand was a ring that had been turned around. He couldn’t let this go unnoticed.

“Hanji! Are you wearing an engagement ring!?” Gisela swirled around. She wasn’t the jealous type when it came to family. In fact, this would only add to her somewhat dull party and if it was Hanji then even better. [Gisela](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/5c/38/60/5c386003f4eb938ec1161a4e9c70358f.jpg) was there in seconds, “I heard there was a scandal over here. I need to insert myself right in the middle of it.” She smiled wickedly and Judah stood alongside her.

Levi was there in seconds, “What’s going on shitty glasses?” He flipped the [ring](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/22/af/82/22af82eceee5d4a83480540554cbdf85.jpg) around and they all gasped. Oskar was so shy and Hanji smiled softly, “Well, we weren’t going to say anything.” Levi’s heart hurt for Mila. _Is this how she’s finding out?_ He turned to find her but she was smiling with Nikko and Armin, “Oskar took me to Armin’s to see it before he asked. I’ve know for almost two weeks. Don’t worry uncle Levi. I can read it all on your face.” He smiled but then gave Armin a look that meant trouble.

Gisela squealed and hugged Hanji. The room rejoiced and Reiner went over to be the DJ. The party livened up and they started to really celebrate. However, something was gnawing in Ezra’s stomach and Cesare noticed, “What’s wrong?’ Ezra looked around, “Something feels wrong.” 

“With this party?”

“I don’t know...wanna get drunk and then take a cab home?”

Cesare snorted and took his hand, “Yeah, I do.”

They didn’t get too drunk. Eren and Jean watched as they slow danced on the floor. “I don’t understand.” Jean mumbled and Eren snorted, “Well, we dated.” Jean smirked, “It was a trainwreck.” Eren looked at him, “I think it was beautiful.” Jean smiled, “You’re still pretty good looking.” Eren popped him, “You think they’ll stick like Hannahlore and Yoni?” 

“Yeah, Cesare is just amazingly happy now.”

“Cesare Ackermann sounds pretty good.”

“You mean Ezra Kirschstein-Bodt.”

Both started fighting and that’s when Ezra and Cesare decided to leave.

*

Ezra rolled on top of Cesare in the bed, his arms went to smooth down his torso between his arms and under his shoulders. He pinned him there while Cesare’s legs wrapped around him. They were much more intimate than normal lately and Ezra had felt a burning in him for Cesare grow and grow. It was fine with him that he’d waited this long to find someone who made him feel something. If Cesare was a reward it was the best one.

Cesare’s hands carded through his hair. His hips grinded into Ezra’s causing both to moan softly into each other’s mouths. A few whimpers escaped and Ezra pulled back to pull his shirt off. He was getting hot and it was a distraction.

They seemed to be all sorts of things out of their norm that night. Ezra eventually pinned Cesare on his stomach, his hands pinched his nipples while he kissed and marked his neck. He enjoyed the involuntary bucking of Cesare’s hips on the mattress and was spurred on by the reaction. Cesare reached back and pulled him into a bruising kiss. When their lips parted, Cesare’s mouth open and panting, he suggested they have sex.

“You want fool around or have sex-sex?” Ezra was now on his side facing Cesare, the light came through the window from the street. Cesare reached over and stroked his face, “Sex-sex. I mean, we can start with foreplay and see what happens but I’d like to see what all the fuss is about sex.” Ezra smiled and kissed him, his hands moving to caress his chest and pull him closer.

They teased each other, figured out what made each other shiver and their breath hitch. Cesare lightly traced Ezra’s bulge in his briefs with his fingertips, so light and airy like only a painter could have. Ezra was rougher, more raw. It surprised even himself. Cesare liked it and it made him harder. “I think I want you to be a little rough and dominate.”

“Yeah? Ha, that explains a lot of our childhood doesn’t it?”

“Shut up and touch me.”

Ezra pulled his briefs down and looked at him, really looked at him, “You Christians have the weirdest dicks ever.” Cesare was blood red, “YOU MEAN WE HAVE NORMAL DICKS! WE DON’T MUTILATE CHILDREN!” Ezra took him in his hand and pulled downward to drag the skin down, “Well, now that I’ve got a better look at you we can continue. I don’t like it. It’s like you’re wearing a costume on your dick. What if you die horribly and I have to identify you by only your dick? I’ll have to say “sorry officer but his penis like a gun: concealed carry.” 

Cesare stared, “You’re insufferable.” 

“Can I...taste you?”

Cesare blushed harder, his voice mumbled and small, “umiguessyeahplease.”

Ezra moved downwards to test out his first blowjob skills. He was shy and it made Cesare like him even more. He tentatively took him in his mouth and gave a few sucks before bobbing up and down a few times. He popped off, “I actually really like this so far.” Cesare’s face was embarrassed, “Well, good.” He kept on and when Cesare was on the edge of release he stopped, “I was told this is when I should probably start stretching you.”

Ezra said it like Dr. Ezra not Ezra the childhood friend. Cesare laughed shortly, “Ughhhh but I was close.” Ezra smiled, “I know. I almost didn’t stop. I think I’m going to like doing that. It makes me feel relaxed.” Cesare snorted, “You’re weird. H-how do we?” Ezra reached over to his nightstand and searched, “Um...baba said-”

“DO NOT BRING BABA UP RIGHT NOW!”

“Ummm someone told me this was good lube. So, I’m supposed to…” He looked really overwhelmed and confused. Cesare leaned upwards and held his face, “If it’s too much, we don’t have to.” Ezra liked that he was sincere, “No, I just want to do a good job and not hurt you.” Cesare kissed him, “So what did Baba say?” Ezra smirked and they eventually figured it out.

When they were able to tease each other again to hardness Cesare was more than ready to get going. Ezra was a little rougher for him and Cesare lavished him with attention and words of praise. They were shaky, they struggled to find a rhythm, sometimes they laughed, but when it clicked they enjoyed panting, writhing, squirming, and the sounds of their partner.

At the end, Ezra kissed every inch of skin he could on Cesare and Cesare laughed, “Well, practice makes perfect so we’ll definitely need to practice more.” Ezra chuckled, “Yes, twist my arm.” Cesare looked around the room, “We can eventually make it a competition.” Ezra liked that, “I’m already hard again at the thought.” He looked at Cesare and then they fell asleep.

*

They practiced more and got much better at it. But, the entire thing had them both thinking more about their relationship. Cesare and Ezra both had fittings for Gisela’s upcoming wedding. It was two months out but still. She wasn’t one to wait a long time for anything and in truth they all had quick weddings after getting engaged. Yoni and Hannahlore were only engaged for four months. That’s basically putting Gisela on par with them.

But, Ezra felt pressure to make sure that what Cesare and he were doing was the same for both of them. He appeared in Cesare’s studio at the house and sat down, “Hey….are we together?” Cesare was washing his brushes when he turned around, temper flaring, “Um, YES! Are you seeing someone else?” Ezra shook his head, “No, no, no, no but like what are we? Are we boyfriends that live together? Partners?” Cesare blinked, “Well, I guess we’re the first because partners are unmarried same sex couples, right? We can get married so we’d be boyfriends that live together. I mean, I pay part of the bills here so...I could become a partner? We’re together, in a committed monogamous relationship. Please don’t make me think this early in the morning. I have been working all night.”

Ezra smiled, “Okay. That’s all I wanted to hear.” He walked towards him and kissed him, “I love you.” It was the first time he’d said it. Cesare blushed, “I love you, too.” Ezra pulled him closer, “Can we have a baby since we love each other?” Cesare looked at him and thought about it, “Yeah. Let’s have a baby since we love each other. Let’s have a baby we can love together forever.”

Ezra was ecstatic, “DO YOU MEAN IT?” Cesare was scared but he did mean it, “I mean it. I’m crazy, right?” Ezra kissed him, “We can do it this week, you know?” Cesare kissed him again, “Who do we call?” Ezra went to get his phone, “Hanji.

*

“You two want to have a baby.” She stared a hole through them as they sat across from her. “Yes.” Ezra smiled ear to ear and she looked at Cesare who was also smiling, “We’re both employed, have a nice home, are in a committed relationship, and want to have a baby together.” Hanji was still in shock, “I knew you were living together but you’re together-together?” Ezra laughed, “Yeah, I love him.”

She smiled, “Well, you understand that the womb will be in your home? You understand that I’ll have to come and check it? You know there are pages of data we have to discuss?” They had a long conversation over the next few hours. Ezra was even more excited when it came time to donate their samples. Hanji called Oskar in and they started to create an egg from Ezra, ‘But, Hanji and Oskar, this is between us. We’re not ready to tell.”

They looked at him and nodded. Cesare said what Ezra was too polite to say, “Hanji, Oskar, HIPPA! DO NOT TELL!” Oskar laughed out loud, “They know you, iubita mea.” She shrugged, “Takes all the fun out of it.” She mumbled something else about not having anything new to share with Levi over coffee.

When they got home they started to look for a room to make into a nursery. The womb we be delivered with their baby by the end of the week. “Let’s get some things and some paint.” Ezra held onto Cesare as he looked at a magazine of baby toys and beds, “Okay, it’s gunna cost a fortune.” Ezra laughed, “I’ve got money. We’ve got money. We’ve got friends in high places, too.”

*

They went to Atlanta to get all their baby needs. “Ez, what do you think we'll have?” Ezra smiled and pushed the cart, “I don't know. Maybe a girl.” Cesare smiled, “Well, I kind of wish we were having the first one, you know?” 

“I KNOW! Do you think he's the father?”

“He acts like he is.”

“Well, at least we'll get to see this baby.” Ezra was bitter and everyone else in the family was, too. The first grandbaby in the family was countires away and had never been seen by anyone. “Sometimes I think it died or-” Cesare stopped, “Let's look and not worry. It's our first. That's pretty much the only reason we need for it to be the best.” He kissed Ezra sweetly, “I love you.”

Ezra was putting things in the buggy while Cesare looked at wallpapers. He was still considering painting but paper was much quicker and nicer. When he found Lilly Atara patterns, though, it was a clear choice. “Aunt Lilly will watch over our miracle baby.” Ezra had a few outfits that he dropped inside, “Boy and girl are covered.” Cesare felt sad for a few seconds. Lore was still having issues conceiving. They didn't want to do the wombs unless they had to but Lore was working with Hanji and being monitored by her. 

They grabbed something to eat and drove back home. Mila had taken his work to the labs at the University and would work on it for the two weeks he was taking off. Ezra wanted a break. Cesare wanted a break. They'd fix their nursery and enjoy each other. Eren was ecstatic that his son was finally taking time off. Levi had sent over care packages of luxury goods to relax with and Erwin had a masseuse sent over for him. Armin just stopped by and gave him kisses and cake. 

Both noted Armin looking around, “When are you having a housewarming?” Ezra looked to Cesare, “I don't know. Should we?” Armin gave a deadpanned look like “why are you so dumb?” “Yeah, you're adults and that's what adults do!” He looked a little more closely at the baby furniture, “Is that a crib?”

Cesare and Ezra pushed him out the door, “WE'LL HAVE AN OPEN HOUSE WE PROMISE! LOVE YOU, BYE!” They slammed the door and Armin blinked outside of the door on the steps, “Oh, you must not know about me. I'm the two wolves.”

*

Armin got home to find Erwin on the kitchen table, naked and covered in sushi, “Bon appetit, mon petit.” He walked forward, “This is ridiculously cute.” He smiled and ate some sushi while Erwin told him how Levi and Eren had gone out and placed the sushi on him. 

“A note came for you baby.” Armin kissed him, “I don't care, Commander. Commit your heart to the cause of fucking me.” Erwin chuckled and moved off the table, sushi all over the floor, “When I spank you, you can't make a sound.” Armin bit his lip, “Will you punish me if I do?” Erwin growled, “Cadet, I'll have to punish you for insubordination. You'll not sit again for a week let alone mount your horse for battle.” He carried Armin to their room to celebrate the anniversary of something they couldn't even remember. 

*

When Armin checked the message it was from One Eye, “They’re going to move against you but I don't know how yet. Beware and think of any secrets they could prey on. I'll keep you up to date.”

Armin went back to bed and crawled in the covers, “Baby, you're so beautiful.” Armin smiled, “Erwin, guess what?” Erwin hummed, “What my love?” Armin looked him in the eye, “I think Ezra and Cesare bought a crib.” Erwin nearly exploded from joy. 

*

The nursery was finished and they stood holding hands looking at it. Hanji and Oskar let out awed gasps as the entered. Hanji got emotional and had to sit down. Ezra understood that she’d always wanted more kids. She also just wanted everyone to be happy and really got emotional about it around those she was comfortable with.

Oskar looked at every inch of the room ( [1](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/0b/4a/b2/0b4ab2fb695938f812e41ce98b68491a.jpg) [2](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a8/bd/c9/a8bdc9f6684054eb49b89614f30061a9.jpg) [3](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/84/e3/f9/84e3f9e9367fab56c697761911b3b56e.jpg) ). He also had a [package](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/2e/9a/c7/2e9ac7c4a8dc87069dcac65170916555.jpg), “Just in case it’s a girl. This was one of the dresses my mother made. I have a few others I’ll give to Mila but the birds spoke to me and made me think of Cesare and you. If it’s not a girl this time then keep it and try for a girl.” He smiled and Ezra hung it up on a decorative hanger in the little closet, “I love it.” He looked at a teary eyed Cesare and added, “We love it.”

*

A few days later Ezra was cooking soup in the kitchen. He’d just started adding the vegetables and was adding broth. He stood in his underwear when hands appeared and arms wrapped around his waist. Cesare pressed kisses to his neck, “Ez, whatcha doin’ mon canard?”

“Making soup for dinner. It needs to simmer all day. I’m not going into work so…”

“I think I should go to Gio’s and pick us up some lunch. I’m gunna eat something when I go into the gallery for a few hours.” He kept kissing him and Ezra turned to kiss him on the mouth, “Cesare, will you grab me some coffee at Gio’s too?” He kissed him, “Yeah, I’ll grab you some coffee.” They kept kissing until the soup started to boil over and Ezra told him to leave with a pop on his bottom.

Cesare went to the gallery and Jean and Marco were waiting, “Okay, so please tell us what surprise you had Erwin track down for Ezra. We’ve not looked inside.” Marco hugged his son, “It’s a cat.” Jean looked confused, “Um, you could have got one from the shelter.” Cesare shook his head, “I had him look for an abandoned Bengal.” Marco’s eyebrows nearly flew off his face with how high they shot, “A TIGER?!”

“NO! Daddy, they’re a hybrid and really expensive. I made sure it was an abandoned one so he wouldn’t get angry. Adopt don’t shop. I’ve heard it till the hills and back. He’s been wanting a puppy but I’m more of a cat person. Donner was the only dog I liked.” They all got a little sad and then he opened the bag, “Hey, little cutie.” He pulled the kitten out and Jean and Marco oo’wed and awed, “It really looks like a little leopard.” Marco held it and kissed it, “Oh meh gosh, please come home with me tiny kitten.” 

Jean petted it, “What’s the name?” Cesare smiled, “Sekhmet. She was a goddess feline who protected pharaohs.” Marco put her back in Cesare’s arms and she purred and purred, “Seems like she likes you a lot.” He nodded, “Cats have always been my thing. I like them and I respect them.” He put her back into the carrier and made some breakfast. He worked up till lunch and then took her with him over to Gio’s.

He was working and noticed that Europa was home and apparently helping him. “Europa?” She smiled and walked over, “Hey! I’m so glad to see you.” Europa was Connie and Sasha’s only child and she went to school in Italy to study the culinary arts. She was beautiful, stunning really. She looked at the carrier, “Omg I wanna pet that kitty so bad.” Gio walked over and blushed, “Um, wow.” He’d hired her for the time being and she’d be working with him and Ms. Jennie in the chocolatier contest.

It was pretty obvious that one of the other reasons she’d been employed is because she’s beautifully talented and drop dead gorgeous. Gio pretty much stared at her like everything she said was the finest music while she chatted with Jean and took his orders. “Hey, let me go get your stuff and you and Gio can chat.” She disappeared and Gio smiled, “Don’t start. They literally helped me get where I am so i’m totally going to hire their daughter for a few months. She’s also great and we’re re-doing some of the menu items.” 

Cesare gave him a look like “I bet you are.” Gio looked over at another group of guests, “I need to cover those tables. Listen, you and Ezra, y’all are having an open house this Saturday, right?” Cesare’s face fell, “What?” Gio smiled, ‘Yeah, we got the email. It’s to end Shabbat so we’re all bringing food. I really gotta run over there.”

Cesare looked at the carrier to make sure the kitten was okay and then a cute waitress approached him, “Here are your coffees sir.” She laid the two coffees in a to-go carrier and then disappeared. He turned and Europa appeared with his bags and coffee, ‘Oh...um...did someone just bring you coffee?” Cesare nodded, ‘Yeah, a waitress.” Europa stared at the coffees, “God, Cesare, sorry. I must be losing my mind. I’ll just drink these with Gio. Ha, I guess I put the order in and anyone could see it so they helped me out and filled it while I was in the kitchen. But, what’s weird is no one said anything when I went to the coffee bar.”

He grabbed the food, paid, told her he couldn’t wait to catch up with her while she was here and left to go back to the love of his life and their little life that was just waiting to be born.

*

He called Mila, “I need you to call Ezra to come to the lab for a verification or something on his work. Just tell him you need him to physically look at it and then he can leave. I don’t need more than five minutes at least.” She laughed, “Oh, God...he’ll never come. He’s finally on vacation.” He smirked, “I know, so when he gets there tell him it was all a lie or rouse to get him out of the house. Tell him I was having something special delivered to the house that I didn’t want him to see.” 

She hummed, “Okay, but only if he won’t leave. I want to keep whatever mystery I can. By the way, Nikko is coming in town and I was wondering if anyone was bringing anything vegetarian yet? I’ll bring it if no one else will.” He paused, “What?!” She told him what Gio had and he realized that Amrin was making them have an open house whether they wanted one or not. “Shit, Mila...please call Ezra and you can bring anything.”

He parked where he could see the house but not be seen. In a few minutes, Ezra appeared in his work out clothes and he ran down the steps and across the street right onto the campus. He’d be there in 3 minutes if he ran leisurely. Cesare pulled up into the garage. He got the food out and the carrier. The kitten peeped and he apologized. He had the cat supplies with Erwin and they’d get those afterwards. He set the food up and then got the cat ready.

She was actually really behaved, “You’re a goddess. I knew you’d be.” He stroked her hair and then he saw out the window Ezra coming back. He stopped at the side of the road for cars before running across. Cesare closed the door and went down stairs to the kitchen.

The door opened and Ezra appeared in the kitchen, “Cesare?” Cesare smiled, “Ez, I have a surprise for you.” Ezra laughed shortly, “What?” He took him by the hand and led him upstairs, “Where are we going, tsigele (little goat)?” Cesare was giddy and that was rare. Ezra started to get excited, “Is it baby stuff?” He took them to the bedroom and said, “Open it!”

Ezra slowly, carefully opened the door and looked inside. He quickly shut it, “NO!” His face was like a child at Christmas. Cesare was dying of satisfaction, “YES! And it was adopted not shopped and it’s a she and her name is Sekhmet and she is a goddess.” Ezra opened the door again and they moved in to look at the newest [addition](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/e5/ca/0b/e5ca0b958598277a30587d4738c90829.jpg) to their family, “SO….FUCKING….CUTE.”

*

Cesare and Ezra drank their coffees and played with their kitten. Ezra was so happy and when they ate he kept looking at Cesare like he’d hung the moon. “Was the womb okay today?” Ezra nodded, “Yeah, nothing abnormal.” They discussed the fact they were having an open house. It was all pretty normal, pretty routine. They were so happy.

*

The next few days were odd to say the least. Cesare was restless at night. He had a cough, it came and went. He’d wake up in a cold sweat and his dreams were feverish and disturbing. It was like something was moving inside of him.

Ezra made him sit on the counter in the bathroom and he checked him out as best he could. Their open house was tomorrow and he worried he had some sort of flu. “I gotta go today to vati’s shop. I’m picking up some pieces for the house. Are you going to be okay?” Cesare nodded, “Yeah, I dunno. Maybe I ate something and I’ve been lowkey sick from it?” Ezra frowned, “Get better, tsigele.”

They kissed and Cesare waived from the window holding Sekhmet. He whispered to her, “Good thing I got your daddy’s surprise the other day before I got sick.” He kissed her and she purred and moved to headbutt him. He laughed but still, something was wrong inside of him.

He went upstairs to lay down and to look at Ezra’s real surprise.

*

Armin was having brunch with Maxim. They were both gossiping and then Maxim went to pray. Ezra walked inside and smiled, “You’re busy lately.” Armin started to bounce, “This is my favorite type of appointment!” He kissed Ezra all over, “Such a beautiful boy. I am so proud of you. You know that, right? I’m so proud of you.” Ezra loved his vati beyond words. It almost made him want to cry, “I love you, vati. I love you so much.”

Maxim sat down and Ezra sat beside him, “You know, this is very important. Trust your gut and if it’s off, then your vati will tell you.” Armin opened the first few boxes and Ezra stared, “Was it like this for you?” Armin shrugged, “Nope, I was proposed to.” Maxim nodded, “Da, I was too. Ilya got his way.” Maxim didn’t wear an engagement ring, “Was it ugly?” Maxim shook his head, “It’s so precious to me I don’t like to wear it for fear of losing it. I have it in the safe.”

Ezra picked one up and gasped, “Is it too feminine? I love this one.” Armin snorted, “I would say it’s just a beautiful ring. It’s also the one your heart thumped when it saw. I’d say that’s pretty important. Plus, that’s a nice take on masculine and when he wears gloves it’ll be great. He’s classic and this is too.”

Ezra looked at the ring on his own finger, “I love it.”

*

The party the next night was looming over them, “Um I got steaks.” Ezra opened the fridge and put them on the counter, “Mila has vegetarian covered but we'll have plenty of other stuff too.” Cesare was not feeling like himself at all. He stared at the meat, “Are you grilling?” Ezra hummed getting out the milk, “Yeah, tsigele could you hand me the cookbook “Through the Generations?”” 

Cesare was lightheaded. The meat smelled amazing under the rub that Ezra had put on it yesterday. “I'm going to set up the backyard. I guess that's where we'll eat and dance. Should I turn the heaters on?” Ezra smiled, “Yeah, I moved most of them yesterday.” He'd come home to find Cesare sleeping and lethargic. Sekhmet stayed by his side the entire time. 

Cesare tried to ignore the strange urges he felt. He thought he must be really coming down with something. Ezra was happily putting everything away in the kitchen and making it all look like a magazine spread. He liked that about Ezra, he liked that he was proud and showed off. 

Levi and Eren were the first to arrive. Levi came outside with him, “Let me move some of those.” He moved more than Cesare had. Levi was freakishly strong. Armin came bouncing down the stairs, “Cesare, the kitten is adorable!” He smiled ear to ear and then jumped on Levi’s back, “Velvel, can we get another kitty?” Levi sighed, “You’d have to ask your daddy, not me.” Armin leaned by his ear, “He said to ask you.”

Levi sighed, “Ughhhh that weakling.” Hannahlore and Yoni came to join them, “Anything we can do to help?” She was dressed for an event more than a house warming. Yoni kissed her, “I’ll handle everything baby.” She rolled her eyes, “I am more capable than you at everything.” Yoni laughed and nodded, “I know but let me dream.”

Inside Eren was helping with the food and Erwin laid down an edible arrangement and some Kosher options from Levi and Eren. He looked around the room, “Can I look around, Ezra?” He paused, “Um, well, there’s one room that’s locked but that’s because it’s not finished and still sort of dangerous. Just be aware.” Erwin smiled and Armin came inside, “Velvel says we can get a kitty.” Armin went with Erwin on a little personal tour while Eren doted on his son, “This is an amazingly restored house. Ezra, aba and I are so proud of you. Please let us know if there’s anything we can do for you or gift you. You know, you’ve been independent for so long.” 

Ezra smiled, “We’ll get to thinking of something, baba.” Cesare walked inside with everyone else. “Ez, where’s the wine cork?” Ezra shrugged, “Wherever you put it the other night.” Cesare’s brow furrowed, “Did I have it?” He went through the drawers and Ezra thought it was strange. He always remembered everything, “Tsigele, we had it the other night and then you….” Ezra opened the freezer and saw it inside, “Here it is.” Cesare looked mortified, “WHY IS IT IN THERE?” Ezra didn’t want to make a big deal so he lied, “Ha, you know what? I bet I had it in my hand when I got the ice cream out and just left in there like “oh here ya go, a little shelf.”” 

The parents looked perplexed and Yoni laughed.

*

Judah and Gisela ate the edible arrangement together while Sebastian and Bellamy spoke with Alexi and Lilly about Russia and all things communist. Gisela sat in her brother’s lap while Aviva and Yoni talked politics. Bianca sat down at the piano that Armin and Erwin had delivered as a housewarming gift and began to play. Marco and Jean stood in awe and laughed at the family pictures that Ezra and Cesare had chosen to display. Jean held Marco’s hand and kissed him over and over. “I’m so happy for them.”

When they sat down to prepare for dinner outside everyone was serving each other family style while Cesare and Ezra brought the steaks out. Nikko had some sort of vegetarian option that Mila had made and Hanji took some of it on her plate to try. Oskar was talking with Vadimas and Nikko about poetry and the news. Cesare sat down and so did Ezra. They were smiling at their family, “Well, I guess we should thank vati for forcing us to have this party. We’re really glad you’ve come and glad you could see our house. We’re really proud of it and really happy.”

Ezra reached over to take Cesare’s hand. Gisela smiled and turned to Judah quietly whispering, “You see how they touch each other? They never did that with anyone else. I just love it.” Judah smiled, “There we have two dorks that belong with each other. Adorable. I wonder if they have sex?” She hit him, “I would suppose so but just because they’re not animals like us doesn’t mean you can poke at them.”

He laughed shortly and pulled her closer. Sebastian was greatly annoyed by Judah and sneered. Nikko’s eyes were on him when he looked up.

Cesare started eating his stake when Ezra looked over, “Tsigele, your stake is almost blue rare. Let me put it back on the grill.” Cesare looked at it, “No, I wanted it rare.” Ezra looked perplexed, “Yeah, medium rare is fine but that’s almost disgusting.” Cesare kept eating, “I promise, it tastes great.” The blood on the plate made Ezra stick his tongue out, “Yuck, it’s so bloody.” 

The good times kept coming and soon everyone was dancing and singing. Cesare and Gio were discussing Europa, much to the delight of Marco who was shamelessly listening, until Cesare suddenly felt off. He felt really off. He was sweating, his stomach felt like it was knotting, he could barely breathe. Gio noticed and gave him a short hit on the back, “You okay?”

Cesare’s eyes were burning, “Yeah, shit. I think I’m getting sick. Ezra’s been keeping tabs on he but I guess it’s gunna be flu or something.” Bianca gave him some water and Ezra walked over, “Tsigele, I think you’re really sick.” He picked him up and moved him from the rough chair to the sitting area couch. Ezra was a little sad. He had a surprise for him and wanted him to be feeling well.

After a few minutes sitting and chatting with Delaine and Gio and lots of water, Cesare said he was feeling much better. Ezra’s hands were sweaty and Nikko walked over, “Are you okay?” Ezra smiled softly, “Nervous.” Nikko gave him a confused look and Ezra took his hand and moved it down to his pocket. Nikko smiled, “Oh, Mazel Tov! Mazel Tov!” David and Mikasa danced by and Ezra held his hand up, “Attention! Can I have your attention please?”

Everyone stopped and gathered around, “I’m not really into big speeches or being the center of attention but I wanted to take the opportunity since we’re all here, save for two, to let you all know that we appreciate you all and love you all. I’ve never been happier since I started my relationship with Cesare and us making this home here has revealed to me that what I was lacking in my life, that I thought was pretty perfect, was him. He was always there as a friend but now, as a partner, that’s where I see that he was hand picked by HaShem for me.”

He approached Cesare and was smiling nervously. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring box, “Cesare, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don’t always understand your goyishe ways,” he laughed and so did Cesare, “but I respect them. You may eat your latkes plain, try to put crosses and creepy crucifixes in all the rooms, and you're a musical purest that won't leave the 80s but I want you in my life forever. Will you marry me?”

Cesare was laughing and Ezra was nervous, “Only if you answer one question.” Ezra looked thrown off, “What?” Cesare reached into his pocket and pulled out a box, “Will you marry me?”

All of the family members were overjoyed. Cesare opened is ring box, “I may be a goy but I got the evil eye in your [ring]()!” Ezra fought back his tears and then opened his, “And you’re my [goldene medina](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/f8/9f/93/f89f930fd204c0e6a02a54d95c00df57.jpg)!” They put their rings on and kissed for the cameras. It was now an engagement party and Armin went to get a huge cake, “Since I did the rings I got a cake! Do you know how hard it was for me to keep this a secret!?” Levi turned around, “GOD DAMN, MAMI! THIS IS BULLSHIT! WHY ARE YOU NOT TELLING ME?!” He was teary eyed and Eren was balling, “OUR BABIES!” Marco and Jean were so moved and proud.

Zadkiel and Vadimas passed out shots for everyone. It was a great night. A night of celebration.

*

_Retching, dry heaving, vomiting into the toilet. Cesare wiped his mouth with the back of his arm. He stood up shakily, blood was in the toilet. It was inside of him. The thumping and pounding in his veins, the whispers in his mind. **eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat,** He pressed on his temples. The voice louder, **eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat Ezra, eat Ezra, EAT EZRA, EAT EZRA, EAT EZRA**_

He opened the door and it slammed into the wall. Ezra sat up in the bed and Sekhmet jumped on the bed in front of him, standing defensively. She hissed at Cesare, hissed and spat. She loved Cesare and had never been like this before. Ezra knew that animals could sense things and he scrambled off the bed. Cesare was staring at him, his eyes had a milky film on them and then he charged him, intent to kill.

Ezra wasn’t sure what had happened to their perfect night.

He had to wrestle with him. He bit him, scratched him, it seemed like he’d lost his mind. Sekhmet bit him and scratched him. He seemed to start to have a stroke the more she attacked him. Ezra tied him to the bed, his hands behind his back. He called the hospital and ordered an ambulance and sedatives. 

When Cesare finally calmed down he sagged lethargically, “Leave, Ezra. Leave...it wants me to eat you. Leave, please.” Ezra refused, “Tell me what’s happening!” He was fading in and out of consciousness. “Something in me is moving...in my skin. It’s in my blood. It want’s blood but specifically yours. It’s trying to change me. I don’t know. I don’t know. Please, please, I think I have that virus those other people have. Oh God, Ezra get away from me.”

“EZRA! GET AWAY FROM ME”

He thrashed more and screamed at him to leave.

Ezra was upset, Sekhmet rested at his side in a crouch. She started hissing and then he became incoherent again. When the ambulance showed up, he was thrashing and had to be sedated on the gurney.

**

Cesare was exhibiting all of the signs of the other patients in the ward. There was no treatment, no cure, nothing. Most of them starved or thrashed so much they broke bones or their spines. They were mad, almost like they had mad cow disease. 

Ezra stood in front of the glass while other family members tried to comfort him and find out what was going on with Cesare. Gisela walked over to him, “The clinic.”

Ezra tore out of the hospital to head to the clinic. Gisela and Judah waited for the doctors to give the diagnosis. “He’ll figure it out. We’ll find them.” Judah’s body was alive with anticipation, “I hate that this is what it takes for you to give me the go.” She turned her head, “I’m going to enjoy this.” She looked beautifully dangerous, “Giselaka, don’t tease me.” She kissed him, “I would never tease you when it comes to something like this.”

*

At the clinic he ran inside and started tearing up his station. He’d been off for a week and the week before he’d had his breakthrough. The separation of information was the failsafe and as he looked around he definitely saw signs someone had been snooping but nothing of use could have been found. He wrote his notes in an encryption that only he knew. He also created fake paths and none of his computers had wifi. He kept himself off the grid and he’d always felt he took too many precautions for such a boring person.

He racked his brain and then thought of Mila. He got in the car and headed to the university calling her, “Meet me at your lab.” It was the only place that everything was together in one place. He waited for her to pull up and when she did she ran to the door opening it. They went inside to look at their records, their work, everything. 

Mila was nervous that she’d done something to ruin Ezra’s life but when they noticed what had been tampered with he laughed, “They definitely got information out of here but not all of it.” She burst into tears and he looked at her, “No, Mila, it’s not your fault. We have to figure out how they knew it was here.” She pulled herself together and tried to calm her breathing, “I think maybe we should look at the tapes.”

They looked at them and noticed nothing. Ezra’s chest was tight, “I’m going to call Gisela and Judah. I need you to go back to the hospital and figure out a way to save Cesare. Let Nikko help you.” She was trying to be strong for him. She had her reasons for what she was saying and he knew she was right, “You think Judah and Gisela can figure it out?”

She looked over at him, “I know they can. But, they’ll need you to give as much information as possible leading up this.”

*

Judah and Gisela sat in the office with Ezra. “What happened and when?” Gisela was cool and collected. She was the interrogator and always had been. You never could get a read on her and everyone became too afraid of Judah to notice she was the real danger.

Ezra tried to put it in a logical order while Nikko and Mila worked away on comparing the similarities to the virus Ezra had created and the symptoms of the others. “I split the work up and then gave a copy over to Mila when I thought the work should continue in the human sector. I know...I know that what I’ve found is more than likely not what has infected the others. I don’t know if Cesare has their infection or mine. Either way, I have no cure. I don’t understand which one he was infected with.”

Gisela leaned forward, “So, we need to figure out which strand. Do the adults know?” Nikko looked over, “That doesn’t need to come out right now.” Judah looked over at him and then back over to Ezra, “Can I have access to all of the footages of the clinic and school?” Gisela sighed, “We’d need Yoni for street footages.” Mila looked up from her tablet, “Ezra, when did he exhibit symptoms?”

He shook his head, “Um, I guess on Monday...that night he started being unable to rest or sleep at night. Fevers and he started to do odd things. He’d forget things, like he put the wine opener in the freezer. It was so strange. It’s like he was constantly running a fever. Then he kept eating strange things. He wouldn’t cook his food properly. A lot of red meat. I even got onto him the night of the party because he’d cooked his state blue rare. Who eats that?”

“What did he tell you again when he was lucid?” Ezra squirmed, “That he wanted blood, that he wanted to eat me.” Nikko and Mila took notes and Gisela turned to Judah, “He sounds like all of them but they’ve never said they wanted to eat someone. That’s different and that’s important.” She stood up and and looked at Ezra, “We'll try to help piece things together, Ezra. But, we can’t promise to not have a little fun.”

He looked so depressed and Judah paused, “Did he go somewhere that day?” Ezra wiped his eyes, “He went to the gallery, got Sekhmet while he was there, went to Gio’s and got us food and coffee. That’s it. He was home by 1 pm.” Judah and Gisela both looked intrigued. “Thanks Ezra. We can work with that.”

*

Cesare slammed back on the bed, screaming in a haze of pain. Ezra was there, screaming at the doctors through the intercom, “SEDATE HIM! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!” He ripped the door open, “Sir! You can’t come in the room is sterile!” 

“I’ll do whatever the fuck I want.”

He got the sedatives ready and put them in his IV. Cesare was the only one with an IV still. Nikko had taken great pains to put it in and tape it. Ezra waited for the sedatives to kick in. Cesare’s eyes were open, filled with madness. He had this demented and disturbed look of bliss on his face. It was like he was drunk. 

He calmed down and Ezra reached out to stroke his forehead. He’d been bitten many times already but he’d still take the chance. He wept openly in the room. “Why is this happening to you, tsigele? I love you, please, please, please forgive me.” 

Ezra was becoming harder, more cut off and Eren and Levi were worried. He spent all his time in the lab now and Nikko was working on a deadline needing to go back to Paris. Mila said she’d go first to help set things up. Nikko spent his time with him in the lab and said nothing to their parents. Yoni gave them whatever they needed and Jean and Marco slept at the hospital. Everyone eventually tired themselves out and died after two weeks. But, they’d never been able to keep them hydrated but for Cesare he could last for three weeks at the most.

Gisela reviewed the tapes while she sat in Judah’s lap, “I think we’ve got it figured out.” He whispered as she curled up in his arms, “Are you okay, Gisela?” She was crying, “No. I just want our family to be whole again.” He laid down with her and wrapped them in blankets.

***

Eren sat straight up in the bed, “Levi, turn the TV on.” Levi was startled, eyes bloodshot. He’d been working non-stop with Hanji and Oskar to try and save Cesare. The serum did nothing and there was just these roadblocks that seemed endless. They’d get around one and slam into another one. When the TV turned on it was flames, some sort of missile attack. 

_Occupants in Little Moscow and the surrounding areas of Florida are encouraged to evacuate immediately. The attacks have been condemned as coming from the terrorist organization The Wall. There is nothing left of the 12 miles surrounding the initial blast zone. All airports are closed, highways, and state troopers are checking houses door to door for a few men seen acting suspiciously the last few days._

_It’s reported their hand motions may have been sending signals to satellites like another case in the 90s of a man returning from-_

Eren was out of the bed, frantic. He called the numbers for the filter and got nothing. The more that came in the worse the situation appeared. Levi held Eren to him, his lips whispering prayers. They both knew without the filter the water would dilute and then the resistance would be lost. There still the one in Turkey but that wasn’t here.

“Eren, we’ve done everything in our lives to live the best lives we can and take care of our family. We’re going to get through this. We’ve had twenty years, twenty! If we can figure out how they built the filter then we can-”

“Shut up, Neshama. Shut up. I can’t handle this right now. We have Cesare in the hospital. Now, the water. And our son is devastated and losing his mind.”

Armin walked inside, “I think we can find blueprints or something of the filter. Erwin is checking.” Armin had his hair in a ponytail and black all over his face. Eren looked at him and Levi stared. They both burst into laughter, “Why does it look like a squid spooged on your face?” Levi lifted his chin and made catcall noises, “Come here, baby. You look like a sexy chimney sweeper.” 

Armin deadpanned, “It’s the remnants of the souls I eat at night.” Zadkiel entered the room and gave Armin’s bottom a slap, “Nice ass and legs, kitty cat.” Armin rolled his eyes, “Can you not be you right now!?” Zadkiel looked at Eren, “I’ll go to the clinic and keep up with Ezra. Delaine and Gio are watching Jean and Marco. Look through Gabe’s files. Hell, look for something Marilyn left just in case.”

They spent the entire night looking for files they couldn’t find. Hanji was even asked if she could maybe give them keys to Owen and Fran’s house. She had the property up there still. She said she’d brought it all back and put in storage and Levi and Eren went look through it. 

*

Gisela heard the news while waiting on Judah. They knew where Jamie and Remy were and they were just waiting for the right moment to strike. It came when the TV ended it's initial reports. She turned it off and he looked at her, slight upturn to the corner of his mouth, “Let's do this.” They kissed shortly and he pushed the door open.

Gisela entered first. It was an AirB&B that they were renting two rooms in. Both Remy and Jamie claimed they were from Georgia but that wasn't true. They were from Arkansas and had quite the past. 

Remy and Jamie were sitting on the couch when they walked in, “Oh, are y’all the new renters? Hope you like Jesus and shots!” Gisela smiled brightly, “Yeah, we just got in but the fucking airport lost our bags.” Remy smiled, “Where’s your accent from?” Gisela sat on the couch and gave a pretty seductive look, “Sweden.” Judah sat in the chair, legs open wide, his jaw tight. He looked around and the atmosphere in the room was charged. 

Jamie’s mouth was wet, “What’s your names?” Judah gave them both pointed looks, “Lukas.” Gisela’s hand played with Remy’s hair, “And I’m Freja.” Remy moved closer, her cheeks flushed, “Listen, Lukas and I are into some pretty serious fun. You know where we can have fun?” They nodded and Judah pulled out some pills, “Clean, I fucking promise. Brought them straight from Stockholm with me.”

*

It was a flash, snatches of things happening in a series. They were running down an alley way, Remy held Gisela’s hand as they laughed and screamed. 

Judah had Jamie shotgun a cigrette with him before slapping him and pushing him against the wall of a club. His breath smelled like whiskey and his teeth were sharp.

They were in the heart of the club, music thumping and their clothes coming off. Gisela and Remy exchanged sloppy kisses and then Judah joined in. Jamie was wasted and barely able to keep himself from laughing and then he pulled Judah close for another round.

Club after club, alley after alley. It was almost morning and they entered a warehouse where they were supposed to find a rave. Remy stumbled forward and then Jamie. They looked around and saw no rave. “It’s downstairs, you know? That’s what they told us.” They went deeper into the basement and then lights that had been on were off. Jamie and Remy sensed the change in mood immediately.

When the generator lights came on they noticed that there were two chairs, tubs of water, and what looked to be surgeon tools on a table. Remy started to shake and Jamie pissed himself.

The door locked and when they dared look at their two new roommates they saw them standing side by side. It was a “The Shining” moment with the twins. 

Gisela smiled but it was sinister.

“You know what they say about siblings that kill together....”

***

Judah pulled Gisela’s jacket tighter, “Giselaka, what do you see when you look at Ezra and Cesare?” His lips were above hers, her forehead against his, “It’s going to get very sad before it gets good.” He picked her up into his arms, “I don’t want you to go back. I don’t want you to go away from me again.” She buried her face in his neck, “We gotta help our brother.”

*

Ezra was among piles of paper, his heart was breaking. He’d gone to the ward and he had seen Cesare in casts, “He’s got hairlines all on his wrists and arms. A few ribs are broken and he’s bruised an organ-”

“WHY ISN’T HE SEDATED?!”

“He pulled the IV out.”

Ezra went to his bedside, weeping, “Tsigele, you have to behave. I need you to behave.” He started another IV in his other arm, “Never let him come off until I’ve got him some sort of treatment.” The nurses were wide eyed, “Do you understand?”

“But, sir the others didn’t-”

“WHAT?!”

“You’re not a doctor and we have limited resources. We’re a ghetto.”

Ezra slammed a station into the wall, “FUCK YOU! FUCK ALL OF YOU!” He nearly destroyed the ward till Nikko and Vadimas came, “GO TO HELL ALL OF YOU!” Nikko put him in his office and locked him in. Vadimas was the picture of worry, “We’ve got to keep him and Cesare safe from the world it seems.”

Cesare sat down at Nikko’s computer and started back looking at the mutation again. He opened up the database and looked for more research to try and cure Cesare. He opened a file on Nikko’s laptop that was curious.

_Grisha Yeager has come under fire for his scandalous blood studies…_

Ezra’s world would never be the same when he realized who Grisha Yeager was.

***

Gisela and Judah walked into the hospital searching for Ezra. Nikko was staring at charts and samples while Vadimas spoke to him. He took them to Ezra.

Gisela leaned over and laid a piece of paper with the information on it, “Here it is: Remy and Jamie worked as a team to gather bits of information from the clinic and the lab. Jamie was dating a lab tech in the university lab and that’s how some of Mila’s information was taken. Remy took from the clinic. But, what we know is that they had an understanding of how this all works because the lack of information didn’t faze them.”

“They admitted to turning the information over to others in their organization and then they were provided the virus. The virus is based off of what Ezra pulled from the water and therefore, it is unique. This is not what is in the water right now. They said they put it into both coffees and their goal was to affect Ezra and not Cesare.”

Ezra lamented, “And that means I have to cure something that is radicalized that I couldn’t even cure in the first place!” He held his head, ‘Who are they?” Nikko sighed, “The Reiss family, I’m sure.” He sat up, Ezra’s eyes narrowed, “Who are these people?” They’d been trying to figure out this family since they became aware of Rod Reiss and his bullshit. Ezra was now thinking of the cases involving Grisha Yeager. “I think we know that they’re everywhere. They’re who we’re fighting against.”

“Did you hear about Little Moscow?” Nikko shook his head and Ezra sighed, “The French were right.”

***

Cesare was in dire straits. They were nearing week three and had a feeding tube inserted. It wasn’t working. It seemed the only thing he could handle was raw meat. Marco and Jean were still staying at the hospital. Armin and Erwin brought them food and Mikasa and David stayed round the clock for moral support. Maxim and Ilya were like zombies. It seemed they’d gone into some sort of numb resignation of doom.

Ezra went home to look at his files again. He wasn’t sleeping, he wasn’t eating, and he was running out of time. Levi had mentioned that Cesare’s suffering was probably more than they knew. None of the serums could help him and Nikko believed it was because of the virus. Ezra asked for access to everything in the university and hospital but he kept coming back to Yeager.

His research on two patients interested him the most. It seemed in one of these patients laid the key to saving Cesare. But, as he entertained the theories in Dr. Yeager’s research life became darker, more black and white. He kept going to the nursery to sit. It was the only place he felt whole. The fetus was almost at the four week mark. 

He stared at it, “Are you going to be born with only one parent?” His world was so dark and it had been so light. He sat in the room and was crushed by the weight that Cesare would never meet this child. He would never see it grow, go to school, live it’s little life. He closed his eyes and realized that Cesare really was a large part of his life.

He was his friend, a sort of cousin, a competitor, a lover, a domestic partner, and he was the man he wanted to have children with and grow old with. He wanted to bitch and yell for eternity with him. How could he let him die? How could he let his parents go through that? How?

His stomach clenched at a sudden thought.

He vomited.

Ezra stood up shakily and tried to find his phone. It was well past midnight but he called the one person he needed to speak to at that moment.

_The dial out tone_

_Ring….Ring…_

_The pick up, “Hello? Ezra? What can I do for you at this hour?”_

Ezra was leaned over the crib, “I need to talk to you, Rabbi. It’s a matter of life and death.”

***

Hanji and Oskar were sick at the stomach. The sedatives were not working. It was like he’d built up a resistance against it. He’d ripped the IV out and that meant no more liquids. His feeding tube was removed because he’d hurt himself more if they didn’t remove it. They stood with Jean and Marco in their office, “I’m so sorry but there is nothing we can do for him. His ribs are broken and his body is exhausted. It’s just a matter of time. We’re still looking at options for a vaccine or serum. Something.”

Jean and Marco were sobbing, “I just can’t imagine. Can you give him morphine?” Jean held Marco’s hand, “Are Nikko and Levi working on it?” Hanji nodded, “And Oskar and I.” Marco was beside himself, “Jean,” he was shaking, “Jean how do we tell the kids?” He leaned over the side of his chair and Jean pulled him out of it into his lap, ‘I don’t know, babe. I don’t know.” Marco screamed.

Hanji and Oskar cried with them, “We’re so sorry.”

***

“Have you seen Ezra?” Judah was standing at the machines in the break room, “No. Neither has Gisela.” He was depressed, just standing there for no reason really. Yoni had tears in his eyes, “They say he’s pretty much dead already.” Judah kept looking at the coke machine, “Yeah, I heard.” He was numb, his face emotionless.

Gisela was holding Bianca who was now not crying but breathing sporadically. Hannahlore held Gio’s hand and he cried silent tears. Bellamy was sobbing so badly no one wanted to look at him. Keita had come in from Israel and recited prayer after prayer. Zev, he said, was sick and not cleared to fly. Something about flu and Israel watching it.

Armin and Erwin were also crying pretty badly while they tried to comfort Aviva and Tuvia. He’d flown in and now felt lost. Zadkiel was also lost and they stuck together. Gio and Delaine were silent save for their prayers. Maxim and Ilya were also praying and Maxim’s fingers moved over the beads of his rosary quickly. Alexi laid his head in his tatti’s lap while Lilly held Bellamy’s hand and tried to offer some comfort.

Levi saw Nikko and Mila leaned over the computer, “Someone has taken samples from the lab. I think it was Ezra.” Levi wanted to ask more questions but the time for that was up, “It’s almost time. He’s fading fast.” Mila moved upwards shaking, ‘No, no…” her voice trailed off and the tears spilled over. Levi couldn’t handle her crying. “Come on, Nikko.” He couldn’t move, he refused, “No, let me look more at the data.” 

Levi grabbed him up into a hug while he protested, ‘Nehemiah, you’re heart is so good but it’s time.” Mila sobbed as they walked down the hall. Nikko couldn’t handle her crying and it made him even more distressed. They came inside and Eren brough Yoni and Judah with him. Everyone listened to the beeping of the machine.

When Hanji, Oskar, Jean, and Marco joined them Aviva spoke up, “Why is he so calm?” Hanji looked over at her, “Morphine.” The room was silent again. Judah went to stand by her while Gisela reached over and took her hand. Jean and Marco kissed him. They didn’t care about the risks. This was their second son, their first born of them. He was their artist, their hard headed stubborn Jean with Marco’s freckles. Jean traced those freckles while their other children cried more.

The priest came and so did Rabbi Berkovitch. Mikasa and David were thankful for him being there. “Where is Ezra?” Berkovitch said quietly. Eren and Levi shook their head, “We can’t find him. We think he’s gone somewhere. We don’t know.” The priest offered blessings and the final rites. Judah was pressed against Aviva and she didn’t care. She leaned into him and pulled Gisela closer. This wasn’t their way religiously and therefore, it simply didn’t comfort them like it did the others and especially Maxim.

Cesare was barely breathing and Oskar took his pulse, “Not long now.” He looked like a broken and bruised corpse but it was the strange face he was making, his features like a blissful drunk. It made them all feel even more uneasy. “I think that we should up the morphine and send him off peacefully.” Hanji nodded and Bianca sobbed bitterly into Gisela.

The door opened and it was Ezra. He looked as bad as they all did. He walked to the bed and pulled out a syringe. Hanji and Oskar reached out to stop him, their gut reaction to prevent harm to a patient. He pushed Hanji and shoved Oskar to the floor without a word. He stuck Cesare with the needle, injected him, and then pulled another one to repeat it.

When he stepped back the monitor read a stronger pulse. He then started to seize and shake. The monitor beeped louder and louder. He held his head straight, opened his eyes to look at his pupils. The look was gone from his face and now he was sputtering, his temperature rising higher and higher. 

He stepped back, looked at Cesare. His entire body exuded a sense of numbness and determination. Cesare coughed and sputtered more, his eyes opening. Oskar and Hanji were on him like Levi and Nikko. Mila stood in shock looking at Cesare. Oskar turned, “Everyone out but Jean and Marco. OUT!”

They all went out in the hallway and Eren grabbed his son, “Ezra, please, tell me what you did. What have you done?” Ezra’s face was blank, he looked disgusted if Eren really was being honest. It lived in his eyes, “What have I done, baba?” He started to get emotional. Berkovitch placed a hand on his shoulder, “Please, let him be.” Eren was at a loss for words.

Ezra stared at the wall. He mumbled for hours those words, “What have I done?”

*

Eren stood outside of the glass with Ezra. Ezra was like a zombie. He didn’t talk to anyone and he didn’t explain what had happened but now Cesare was very much fighting for his life to come back to them and somehow the serum, which was the second injection, was repairing what it could as his body fought to corner the virus in his system.

Levi came over, his scrubs covered in blood. He wished his son would tell him what had happened and what was in that injection. Ezra looked inside of the room and then, “Who was Grisha Yeager?” Levi and Eren exchanged panicked glances. As far as their kids knew, Eren was an orphan who was raised with Jean and Armin’s Grandfather lived in Germany till his death. His parents had died in a hot air balloon accident, yes they still used that one. Erwin’s story was pretty necessary but major details were left out. Jean’s and Marco was easy to fit in and Mikasa was an orphan. It worked but it was complicated and they encouraged no extra questions.

Levi swallowed, “A scientist.” Ezra was shaking, face pale, he looked so torn and devastated it worried them both. “Yeager with a Y. A scientist. Please, don’t lie. Don’t lie about this. Not after what I’ve learned. Not after what I’ve done.” He turned to look at Eren, “They say “like father like son.” Well, in my case like grandfather like grandson.” He started sobbing, holding his head and crying. Eren moved to hold him and the slid to the floor, “What did you do, Ezra? What did you do?”

He sobbed, “Who was he?! I want to hear you say it!” Eren’s face contorted, “He was my father.” Eren looked at the floor, “He was my father and he did a lot of horrible things for the betterment of humanity. I had to come to grips with that. Levi had to come to grips with it. It is what it is. It’s not pretty and it’s not something we would boast about.”

Ezra’s sobs were chokes, “Well, it doesn’t matter. His work is obviously an inherent and necessary evil. I’ve simply had to carry it on. The filter was moved. It’s not in Little Moscow. I met them all. I know. You were the child. You were the sacrificial lamb. Well, no more. Now that this virus exists it’ll take more than your tears. It took more than that.”

Levi crouched down, “Where is the filter?” 

“Here, in the ghetto.”

“What do you mean it took more?”

Eren and Levi tried to calm their son while Cesare was being focused on. Armin found them in the floor, “What’s going on?!” Eren filled him in. Armin’s mind started to work, “Leave him alone. Put him in the office with Erwin. Erwin appeared, “What’s going on?” Armin and the others went to Nikko’s office and Erwin agreed to watch him. He pulled him into an embrace and Armin put a blanket on them, “Make sure you don’t let him out of your sight.”

He shut the door and dreaded the conversation he was about to have with Eren and Levi.

***

**Three weeks prior**

Erwin stood behind Armin and giggled, ‘Baby, are you cat woman?” Armin had a bobby pin and was breaking into the locked room at Ezra and Cesare’s house, “I can smell the baby powder.” He heard the click and looked around, “We have to be fast!” Erwin pushed the door open and the stepped inside.

Armin had tears in his eyes, “This nursery is amazing.” Erwin touched some of the smaller objects, “Wow….this brings back memories.” Armin nodded and sat down in the fur chair, “I can’t wait for them to tell us.” Erwin snorted, “And we’ll act like we never knew.” Armin smiled, “Think about it. They literally are going to have child without even officially telling us that they’re together and they’ve just been living together but not saying they were together. This is just so….there are no clear definitive phases.”

Erwin took a few pictures, “Actually, Ezra is just doing what Levi’s always wanted to do. We talked more about having children and raising them than we ever did about our relationship. Also, remember the talks he had with Eren? It must be an Ackermann push for children. Ezra was just answering the call of his genetics.”

“What do you think it’ll be?” Erwin shrugged, “Probably a little boy.” Armin rolled his eyes, “Yuck, boys are not as fun as girls.” Erwin laughed, “We had three!” Armin stood up, “And Aviva was the most fun!” They kissed and left the nursery with sweet looks and high hopes.

***

Cesare rolled over in his bed, his pillow softer than the normal ones at the hospital. Jean had gone to get one of his own so he’d rest better. He could smell him, it was indescribable. He opened his eyes and Ezra was there, his hand smoothing his hair out of his face. The room was still, everyone relieved he was awake.

Ezra’s eyes were full of tears, “Tsigele, you’re awake finally. I’ve been real sick of your shit.” Cesare reached to touch his face. He winced a bit, “I’m so fucking tired. My head hurts. Did you headbutt me with your big dumb head?” Ezra laughed shortly and leaned down to kiss him, “I love you. I was so scared.” Cesare smiled, “I didn’t want to eat you. How would I explain that to the baby?”

The room was dead silent, not a person breathed. Those who knew were sick and those who didn’t were shocked. Ezra smoothed his hair back, “Cesare, tsigele,” he choked on his words, the tears streaming down his cheeks, “I’m sorry.” Cesare was scared, “What? Why?” Ezra covered his eyes with his hand, “You’ll never forgive me.” 

Armin moved, “Get out. Everyone get out.” He shooed everyone out of the room and Cesare grew more concerned, “Ezra, it doesn’t matter what happened just talk to me.” Ezra held his hand and kissed it, “Cesare, you’re the only person that we’ve ever saved and do that I had to sell my soul to the devil.” Cesare tried to sit up but he was just too tired, “I don’t care what you had to do. I love you. I love our life and our baby and Sekhmet. I was so happy.”

Cesare watched as Ezra continued to cry, “Cesare, we’re not going to have a baby.” He said the words and it felt like his soul was screaming.

***

Cesare stood in the empty nursery and sighed. He’d forgiven Ezra almost immediately. For him, it was four weeks of fetal tissue. It wasn’t like he’d killed a near person. He knew how Judaism saw the matter and wondered why Ezra couldn’t bring himself to absolve himself. Ezra had wanted a baby that badly that he was more than livid the world had made him choose between it and him. Cesare also learned about the dark past of Baba’s father. It had been a shock to everyone.

There were still secrets between the parents and children. Gisela and Nikko said it didn't matter. Eventually, they'd all figure it out. They met with them and asked them what their story was. Eren said that it was simple: his father was pressured to make a way to vaccinate as many people as possible against whatever was in the water that the Reiss family and terrorist organization The Wall had put into it. He was also being threatened that if he didn't, his wife would be killed. He did his best to try and help everyone, even spending precious time on Armin to save him from his autoimmune disorder. 

It made sense. It had a lot of truth to it. But, Yoni could hear the spin on it only well done rehearsals with Erwin could put on it. Obviously, Eren was very emotional about it all and Levi was, too. Maybe, that's why they needed to rehearse? They promised when things calmed down they would tell them more. Eren spent the next few days with Ezra, crying and trying to find comfort. 

Nikko told Hanji, Oskar, and Vadimas what had happened: They believed that the filter never got into well water out in the more remote areas of the country and in the Midwest it wasn't as strong. That's why infected people were still popping up. Ezra had taken the fetus and made the decision to use its stem cells and natural immunity, a second generation natural increased resistance and immunity to the water, to create a vaccine for Cesare. He put his tears into the water filter and saved Cesare with their child's blood, tissues, and cells. Nikko believed it was a success because it was their genetic material together and the cells saw Cesare as someone familiar. Then he used the serum with his own blood to heal him like Gisela had many times with Zev when he was ill. 

Nikko was happy for Cesare to be alive but this still didn't help them find a cure for everyone else. He didn't complain, though. Mila told him to take a shower, shave, get dressed and meet her outside the office when he was done. 

He did what she asked and instead of a suit she gave him much more comfortable clothes to change into. He felt street and urban. More like Judah than himself. She stood by the door with two large to-go teas and a smile, “Come on. I'm taking you where you need to go.” She drove him to Rabbi Berkovitch’s office, “Mila, why?”

She turned to look at him, “Because, you'll never let it go unless you ask him what you want to ask him. I'm hear to talk with some of the women and cook so I'll be fine for a long time. Just take care of yourself. Ezra must have made some pretty hard choices here.” They got out and he walked inside the temple feeling like Grisha was standing outside the door staring at him. _Would he sacrifice his own children for humanity, too?_

***

Hanji and Oskar stared nervously at each other, “It's still-”

Oskar nodded, “I know. We have to give it to them but...I worry psychologically will it do more damage? Does it seem like we're putting a bandaid on it?”

Hanji bit the inside of her cheek, “Should we call the rabbi?”

“Ha, I did but he's busy.”

“Damn...I bet he's tired of us all. I think we have to take it to them. It's theirs. We'll explain that we did this with them like the others. It's routine. We've never been wrong.”

“It makes you think….about God.”

Hanji sighed, “Science is my God. The God of others never did anything for me.” She thought of Mila at the foot of the hill of crosses.

**

Ezra cleaned the house while Cesare moved around him and frowned, “Come to bed. You need sleep.” Ezra’s Baba had just left and Cesare was looking forward to holding him in their bed and trying to get closer to him again. Ezra eventually gave in, “I am….really tired.”

They laid down, the sun was setting and Sekhmet jumped on the bed purring as she moved between his shoulder and neck to sit. Ezra laughed shortly, “I feed and take care of you for three weeks and he gets home and is still your favorite? Damn….that's cold.” Cesare smiled, “She's a goddess. She likes me because I'm a god.” Ezra petted her and she eventually moved up towards the headboard and got comfortable, purring as she sank into the pillows. Ezra kissed him, “I'm so sorry.”

Cesare pulled him closer, “Ezra, it was the same situation a man would have been in if his wife was giving birth and he had to pick one. But, actually I think that would be harder.” Ezra pressed his head into his chest, “But, ethics and morality are different.” Cesare kissed the top of his head, “We can still have everything we wanted, Ezra. We just need to take time to heal and everything will be okay.”

Ezra and Cesare exchanged lazy kisses and pressed against each other, “Will you still marry me?” Cesare smirked as he said it. Ezra kissed him, “Yeah, we can go tomorrow and make it official.” Cesare frowned, “Booooo I want a wedding.” Ezra pulled him into a deeper kiss, “All I want is you and domestic bliss.”

There was a ring of the doorbell and they both paused, “Who is that?” Cesare rolled his eyes, “Probably our family. I mean, we number in the thousands.” They got up begrudgingly to check who it was. 

They opened the door and Hanji was smiling but it was forced, “I know you never wanted to see us again but...we have potentially good or troubling news.” Oskar stood behind her, “Why is there a van from the hospital?”

*

Ezra and Cesare we in shock. Hanji told them that they'd made many embryos like in normal in vitro experiments. They planted then and the strongest was put into their womb. However, Levi had made it a stipulation that the other weaker ones not be destroyed. They normally wouldn't make it but he said they deserved the right to fight as long as possible. One of their embryos had not deteriorated and was planted in a womb that until recently looked like it wouldn't make it but now was strong enough to be counted as viable. Hanji and Oskar offered them three choices. 

They could take it and have it exchanged in this womb. They could let it live and Oskar and Hanji offered to raise it as their own since they'd hid it from them. Or they could destroy it. Ezra couldn't bear the last option and while he was shell shocked he let Cesare decide. Cesare overwhelmingly wanted the baby to be placed in their womb. “Ezra, HaShem works in mysterious ways.” Ezra had kissed him breathless for making the choice he wanted and using the title HaShem. 

*

Gisela’s wedding was approaching and they were spending more time at home together. Levi and Eren cooked for them more and Gio and Delaine came to visit and check on them. The family was excited for another baby but they were also aware that Ezra was still suffering from guilt and sorrow over what he'd done. 

Cesare hoped he could breathe new life into him slowly with gentleness and happiness. They wanted to know what the baby was as soon as possible. Cesare thought that would be a better thing to focus on other than the past. The future and continuum. He went to shul with Ezra more. Ezra wanted to raise them Jewish but that wasn't something Cesare was going to give up on without a fight. 

“They're ethnically Jewish but I want them to be raised like I was! At least concede to interfaith.” Ezra was hot but not yelling, “They're Jewish, they'll be raised Jewish! I'm not asking that you convert but this is important to me and if you really thought about it you'd understand!”

“I AM THINKING ABOUT IT! But they need to be christened and they need communion! THAT'S WHAT CATHOLICS DO FOR THEIR CHILDREN!”

Ezra was pissed, “Why do they do it? So, if they die they don't go to purgatory!?”

“The pope disbanded the idea of purgatory. It's so they don't go to hell.”

Ezra had reached his end. He slammed the books on the floor he'd been reading, “That's the bullshit I don't want them to learn. Christians believe all are born with sin. Jews do not! I don't like the whole “I'm a wretch and need a savior” complex. It's like an abusive relationship where Jesus loves you despite the fact you're shit and no one else will. We've got problems in my faith, we all do. But, that's a fundamental difference that I don't want our child to wrestle with!”

Cesare was hurt, “It's my faith.” Ezra felt bad for him, “But, this is more than faith. I'm not Ilya, Cesare.” Cesare frowned, “What if when they get older they want to become catholic?” Ezra was really annoyed, “Then that’s their choice. I can’t stop them. But, right now as their parent who want’s the best for them I think it’s critical they grow up with a Jewish identity and understanding of this religion. I’m not saying that I hate your traditions, just that I want to do right by my child, my people, and by aba and baba.”

Cesare didn’t know how to continue the conversation after that point. He just went to the studio to work a little. Maybe something would open his eyes to a solution of sorts.

***

Marco came to see if the boys were doing better. He found the door unlocked and Sekhmet laying on Ezra’s chest on the couch. Cesare was obviously awake and doing around the house so he went back to the foyer, “Ray? I’m sorry I let myself in but the door was open….what’s that? Go to the nursery? Well, if you insist.” He smiled a pleasant and happy smile walking up the stairs. He knew Jean would call him shameless.Cesare was in the nursery and when he walked in his face was red, “DID YOU JUST LET YOURSELF INTO MY HOUSE?” Marco looked around the room, “Son, I know you’re not yelling at me.” Cesare was even redder, “I AM YELLING AT YOU! YOU GAVE ME A HEARTATTACK!” Marco rolled his eyes, “What’s wrong? I can tell something’s wrong. Is it the wedding preparations? I can get the tuxes for you and hold them. Hannahlore is doing them anyway with MIkasa.”

Cesare sighed, “I know what we’re having. I had a dream.” Marco sat down, “What are you having?” Cesare sighed again, “I don’t want to say. He wants to raise our children Jewish. I’m concerned.” 

“Why?”

“Do Jews go to hell?”

“Woah, that’s a big question.”

“Why would they go? I don’t...I’ve been a good catholic, right?”

“You could be better.”

“Dad! SERIOUSLY?”

“You are like your papa. You could be better. He could be better. We all could be better catholics. But, y’all don’t go to church and you don’t participate in it like I do, Bianca, Gio, or even Maxim does. It’s just not that type of thing for you.”

“But, the theology...I’ve been looking at it more and more and I don’t know why but it never seemed this harsh when you and papa were teaching us.”

“Well, we softened a lot of it. We taught you what we believed. We shielded you from some of the conservative aspects that were hateful or threatened our family members.” 

“Did you know the church hasn't even formally apologized for half of what they did in the past to the Jews? And now...they're working with France and President Reiss to continue the pressure on Jews in Europe and America? Why doesn't the church here do anything about this?”

Marco looked at the floor, “Because all institutions are corrosive and corrupt. Police are every but justice is nowhere. The only truth is there is no truth. All meaning is inherently meaningless.” Cesare felt like his father had just slapped him in the face with hard truths.

He looked at Cesare, “You're an adult, Cesare. I can't tell you what to believe. But, as a parent I wanted you to have a Catholic upbringing and identity like I had. That's what parents do. They want their children to have identities similar to their own. But, also, as a parent we try to spare our children what we personally see as being harmful to them in those same cultures and spaces. We try to help them develop a better identity more true to that of the original idea. Love thy neighbor is what your papa and I wanted to embed in you and your siblings. Love thy neighbor as thyself. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Share peace and good cheer. Be upstanding and kind in your actions. I think you all turned out great and I'd say that As for our Jewish family members they did, too.”

***

**_Shortly after Gisela’s wedding._ **

They all sat in front of the TV and listened as the world suddenly started to come to a halt. World War Three was no longer a joke or a threat. It had begun. Keita was called into the other room. Tuvia sat on the couch with Bianca and then got up to go into the woods in the back yard. Erwin and Armin were in their office, One Eye needed to talk.

Levi watched as Nikko and Judah and Gisela seemed resigned to it all and then they said they were going to Israel to fight. Keita said anyone could come who wanted to and that he’d been given permission to recruit them. Ezra was on the loveseat, Cesare’s face the picture of disbelief as the video of bombing played. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees and then, “I’m going to go.”

Cesare looked over suddenly, “No! What?!” Ezra never looked away from the screen, “I’m going. I’m going to make them pay for what they made me become.” Aviva made coffee while Yoni signed up and Tuvia eventually did too. Bellamy joined them, “There’s no sense in non-Jews joining from the family.” Lilly looked concerned. Alexi stood up and looked at Maxim and Ilya, “Well, it’s a good thing you don’t make the rules. I am what I am whatever I am. Lilly is what she is whatever she is. Don’t dictate to us who can defend the Holy Land, beloved cousin.”

Lilly looked to Hannahlore and Bianca. They both sat in shock. Gisela looked at Zev. His tears ran down his cheeks like shiny glass, “Gigi.” She looked at Ezra. Levi was trying to convince him to not go because of the stress he’d been under. So much had just come to light and they all were raw and suspicious of each other, “Aba, I have to go. I need to go.”

Armin and Erwin, Eren and Levi, Jean and Marco, Maxim and Ilya, and Zadkiel knew this was the end. They would have to fight, too.

*

Cesare’s hips grinded against Ezra’s. Their lips moved against each other. Arms and legs tangled. It was slow, sensual. There was no rush or hurry to their love. Ezra rolled them over, hips rolling and Cesare moaned into his mouth. He pulled back to kiss his neck. Cesare whispered, “Don’t go.”

They continued this for the next hour. Breaths punctuated with “don’t go” and “stay” and “I love you.” Ezra knew Cesare knew he was still going to go. But, he did feel reassured that he wanted him to stay.

*

They called everyone over to their house before they all left for Israel. It was like the engagement party but hopefully it would end much better. Ezra kept getting caught giving kisses to Cesare and Maxim and Ilya had been offering a sort of counseling along with David to them in their quest to pick what type of home they’d raise their child in. Lore was shoving off all of her baby fever on them and had been their rock.

She stood with Yoni who was talking animatedly about how the ghetto was flourishing and now some of the citizens were getting tax cuts due to the government no longer being able to collect them. Ghetto’s had some perks it seemed. Hannahlore had been asked to work with a few engineers to create blast resistant, terror proof designs in Israel and in other ghettos and potential ghettos.

Levi and Eren were looking upstairs at their first grandchild and were joined by Armin and Erwin. They all had a happy moment before going downstairs and hugging Gio and Delaine. Zad was pushing on Tuvia and he was trying to get Bianca to join him in debauchery. Lore was still his best friend but she was trying to get pregnant and didn’t need to be involved in such ridiculous things.

Zev was running around playing with Sekhmet while Judah followed. He was trying to act like he wasn’t obsessed with her but Judah was practically gleeful about the beauty that was that cat. He didn’t like that it liked Aviva so much. 

“Guys, we’re going to tell you all the sex of the baby but even we don’t know.” Erwin smiled and Armin deadpanned, “Oh...is this a gender reveal?” Ezra looked concerned, “Yes, vati.” Armin and Levi sighed at the same time, “How goy of you two.” Jean turned, “WE LIKE TO KNOW WHAT WE’RE HAVING MOST OF THE TIME!” Marco held his hand, “Jean, even we didn’t know.” “IT’S THE POINT THAT THEY'RE MAKING IT A GOY THING!”

They put a cake on the island and smiled, “We’re gunna cut the cake and then we’ll know.” Gio smiled, “Well, I know and Europa knows.” Levi hissed, “HOW?!” Ezra cut in, “Aba, Gio and Europa made the cake.” Sasha and Connie were there, back in town from competing in New York, and Europa smiled brightly, “I’m excited.”

Cesare was handed the knife and he cut into the cake.

Both stood looking at the cake without moving or saying a word.

Then Ezra squealed, “IT’S A BOY!”

Cesare smiled, “Oh, god, yes! I’m not ready for a little girl.”

The room moved with so many people in it and everyone smiled and hugged. The darkness was forgotten for one day and they all enjoyed being together with one another.

*

“Ezra?”

“Yes?”

“I love you so much. It’s insane how much I love your stupid face.”

Ezra giggled, “That doesn’t sound so sweet, you know.”

Cesare took his hand, “Tomorrow, you’ll be gone.”

Ezra rolled over, “I’ll be physically in another place, Cesare, not gone completely. Please, don’t start with the dramatics. I know the risks like you do. I would rather us write letters, talk on the phone, facetime, skype, you know...all that bullshit you hate.”

Cesare pulled a piece of paper out and Ezra stared at him, “I came up with some names.” 

Ezra smiled, “Let’s hear ‘em.”

Cesare was self conscious and cleared his throat, “Akiva, Alexander, Avner, Chaim, Eli, Gidon, Hirsh, and Rafael. Those are obviously Hebrew. Some French, that I checked to see if they belonged to any notable French Jews mind you, are Andre, Alfred, Nissim, Jacques, Leon, Jules, Henri, Albert, Claude, Cedric, Roman, and Tristan.”

Ezra blinked, “That’s a lot. Do we have to pick now?”

“I like Ilan, too.”

“Oh yes, add another.”

“Not now but dad and papa had a list and they said it was the best thing they ever did. I mean, everyone waited till were were born to name us. I think the list is useful.”

Ezra took the list and folded it, “I’ll be sure to take this list very serious.” He moved forward to kiss him sweetly, “Thank you being the best fiance, the best partner, the best lover, and my best friend. I love you.” Cesare kissed him back and they enjoyed their last night together before Ezra left for Israel.”


	168. Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 52049  
> That's the word count and this chapter technically ends but doesn't really. it'll merge with another chapter later. So, that's why it seems abrupt in how it ends. However, this chapter has a lot of sex and foul language. It may bother some people.
> 
> This is the BillyBlueEyes chapter.

[ Aviva](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/0b/85/58/0b8558475d09c0865a3f5e0685a2395c.jpg) and [Judah](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/24/7e/8d/247e8d993c5c2edf064a71fba21f2723.jpg) [ 2 ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ac/0e/77/ac0e775e0ccbb97fb81df6ff3a2ab53a.jpg) [ 3 ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/75/c5/e3/75c5e33b59d935e1eddfe309c5b1060a.jpg)

Judah slammed the drink down on the bar top and the man immediately drained it, “Hey baby, what’s your name?” Judah was wiping the glasses and keeping his eye on the rest of the patrons. It was dark, lights all over casting shadows just the right way. He watched Sapphire as she took the stage and he grinned watching as she moved. Men were throwing money, if only they knew what Sapphire kept in tucked in her thong. They’d see soon enough. 

He was pissed off that his bartender hadn’t shown up. He preferred working the counter in the sex shop portion of his humble establishment, Maria’s only slice of sin. He had male, female, trans, you name it dancers and it was a no bullshit business. Come in, sit down, throw some money around, have a drink, meet someone, go take a look at the shop, buy something, go home and use it. Judah had made it so. He was just like his Aba. _Fuck, I can’t believe I just admitted that._

He was leaned back on the back counter, his shirt was stuck to him with sweat, he lit a cigarette and noticed the brunette lean over the counter and give him a wink. She had green eyes. _I could use a good fuck._ He winked back, gave her a coy smirk, and nicked his head up. She smiled, pushed her breasts together to show them off and he was thinking that the bar could do just fine without him for a few minutes. His thoughts were smashed as he heard a bottle breaking over someone’s head, “No, you asshole! Fucking get off of me.” 

He’d know her voice anywhere, that harpie. “You little slut! You’ve been teasin’ me, don’t act like you hadn’t. If you can’t handle a real man then you should stick to boys.” He grabbed her wrist and Judah watched as she coiled back, like a viper, she was ready to strike, “You ain’t a real man, that’s for sure. You’ve got a shriveled up dick and bad breath. Back the fuck up off of me.” She sounded like his sister when she was fighting mad. Makes sense since they were inseparable that they’d be similar. Except, his sister was beautifully amazing, sweet, smart, amiable, she was salt pure and radiant. The complete opposite of this demoness he’d had to fight for her attention. “BITCH!” The man stood up, hand ready to choke her.

She prepared for a full out fight when they both heard the click of the gun going off safety in the lull of the music. She blinked seeing the scene before her, “She may be the biggest bitch in the world but she said no. Take your punk ass home. You’re cut off. And don’t threaten to ruin me or whatever shit scum like you says because I’m good. I’m not going anywhere. So, fuck off before I shoot you in your fucking head.” The man dropped his hands, turned to sneer, and then left quickly. She had the audacity to smirk, “Is that the kind of trash you cater to?” He scowled, “You mean trash like you?” She hissed in mock hurt, “Judah, that ain’t nice.”

He looked over at the brunette still standing there. She didn’t seem to mind the scene, ‘Stop using ain’t like your some uncultured country whore. You might be a whore but you’re not country.” She smiled brightly, “You wound me.” She looked over at the brunette, “Come here, baby.” She smiled and the brunette looked at her questioningly but a bit intrigued, “Let me give you some advice. He’s a cutie, if you like street urchin dirty, but he’s got a surprise in his pants.” The brunette smiled wickedly and glanced Judah up and down, “But it’s the bumpy kind that tends to flare up on him and those he decides to gift it to.” She frowned, looked disgusted and walked away. Judah swore and dropped a glass, “You fucking bitch, I was going to fuck that so good.” 

She smiled, “She looked nasty. I did you a favor.” Judah tched, “I didn’t care. I just need a good fuck.” She reached over and grabbed a bottle of vodka, “Then get one of your flesh lights from next door.” He stared at her and her thievery hoping she’d explode, “I said a real fuck and don’t shit on my fleshlights. That store makes money hand over fist. Just because it’s not some fucking respectable shop like Vati’s doesn’t mean it doesn’t have use.” She paused, her glass was filled to the brim, a scotch glass, he thought that was much too much for one to call a shot and it was enough to be mixed in two other drinks, “I never gave a fuck about what was respectable or not.” She looked up at him, “I like this place. Gisela likes it, too. She’s your silent partner.” Judah stilled, “I didn’t know.” “She didn’t want you to know.” “Fuck off.” “I’m not acting like I know her better than you! I’m just saying that _we_ don’t think this is a bad place or bad idea.”

She sat back and started to drink her vodka. He watched the next guy on the pole and the others on the side, keeping her in the corner of his eyes, “You want somethin’ to fuckin’ mix that with?” She shook her head, “I want to drink till I die.” He scowled, crossing his arms, “I hope you succeed.” They were quiet for a while as the red, blue, pink, and disco lights went on with the show. There were a lot of people and then his bartender showed up, “Kip,” Judah’s voice was laced with venom, “show up late again and I’ll break your fingers.” Kip ducked his head, “Yes, sir.” She gave Kip a smile and his blush was so visible the dancers on the stage could see.

Judah sat down next to her, “Why?” He asked finishing his cigarette. She finished her glass and Kip handed her a sprite from the case. He looked at her pretty French tipped fingernails, “Why what?”Her voice dropped. He took the can from her hand popping the tab so that he fingernails didn’t get ruined, “Why are you drinking.” She hesitated, “They don’t want me.” He frowned, “What?” He whipped his head to look at her, brow furrowed in confusion, and she sighed, “They’ll take me for singing but not for dance.” 

She was really upset and he knew she would be. He honestly couldn’t stand her most of the time but he couldn’t understand how she didn’t do well enough, “They took Gisela for the opera. She’s going to work every other season because you know, she’s touring with the band. I’m on leave with the opera house and can come back anytime but I wanted to be there in Russia again, I wanted to be dancing at the ballet where it all started….” 

She frowned, she was so upset with herself, “It just wasn’t worth it, the time, the money. I’m a failure. I haven’t told Vati or daddy. I don’t want to disappoint them. Gisela got her degree in linguistics and psychology. I got mine in dance. She did both of those and still danced and sang. She had a dance minor and that’s only because she was one master’s class away from a degree. Her Opera degree was just the icing on the cake. That’s three. I mean, what the fuck is wrong with me. Why can’t I be as perfect as she is? I just want to be with my friend and not feel like I’m bringing her down.” 

Judah sighed, “Try being her brother. You danced in France. You’ve got what it takes for Russia. The judges were just shit this time. Gisela thinks the same things you think about her about you. She thinks your dancing is better, your voice is more unique, your thoughts more interesting, and she thinks you’re the fun one.” She laughed at that, “My brother is the fun one.” She missed him badly, “I think I’m just lucky to have been born in the same family as my best friend.” 

The blue light bathed her blonde locks and when she turned to him her lips were purple, “You’re her twin so what’s your problem? Who are you jealous of if not her?” She smiled reaching for the bottle again, “Me? Come on, you can say it. It’s me, right?” He watched her lips curl into an inviting smile and then her lips covered the lip of the bottle. He jerked it down, “Filthy pig, you can’t do that.” He tched and turned around, “I’ll just have to finish this off with you so it doesn’t go to waste.” She grinned, “Happy belated birthday.”Judah missed his sister and Aviva prayed that her brother was safe.

****************

It wasn’t the best decision but it was pretty hot. They drank, talked about how Zev was probably making everyone on the kibbutz laugh. Gisela and he weren’t speaking and everyone thought that was going too far and their parents were upset about it all. Zev was in constant contact with Nikko but other than that, he was secretive and it upset them all. Somehow they ended up fighting, well, worse than normal or perhaps, just differently. She was getting shit faced and letting men just throw her around on the dance floor like a rag doll. He watched as one put his hands up her tight pink dress. She was thin, ballerina’s body on display, nice tits if he had to admit it, and she was a wicked dancer.

He grabbed her up when one acted like he had less than honorable intentions. If he didn’t protect his sort-of sister then his Aba, Baba, Daddy, and Vati would all disappointed and he needed no other reason to give them to be disappointed in him. She took his noble intentions as some sort of reprimand and slapped him, hard. He tightened his hold on her, “You want that I let some old perv take you off and fuck you?” He only ever spoke in Yiddish with the family. His voice was nice and she loved his yiddishkeit and the way he threw the words at her.

She wiggled in his grip, “I wish. Someone needs to fuck me.” She slapped him again. He was so done with her shit. She was always so fucking difficult and so fucking wild and so fucking headstrong and so fucking insufferable. He didn’t mind these things in Gisela, she only showed them in the appropriate moments but Aviva was always picking at him and testing him and challenging him. He let her go and she stared at him fixing her dress and smoothing her hair.

He hated her. She hated him. It was a story as old as time. So, how had they gone from fighting in the back of the car on a family vacation to fucking on the floor of his office in his sex toy store?

He’d never admit it, but she was the best lay he’d ever had. She rode him when he let her and damn did she put those hips to good use. That Sorbonne dance education was paid for in every rotation and her lips and her tongue moved against his like the opening night at the opera, seamlessly and dramatic. She had a kinky side that didn’t surprise him. She would slap him, fight him, tug at his hair, dig her nails in him, and he loved it. He spanked her, fucked her from behind into the floor, and made sure to avoid her feet and even moved his hands against her sore spots making her whimper and moan as the hurt felt so good. It’s like they were made for each other, perfect for one another. If fire and gasoline could ever be perfect for one another.

********************

She left for Austria two weeks later. They didn’t acknowledge that night and they didn’t talk about what they had discussed before it in regards to Gisela or Zev. Zev called her and she pleaded with him to make amends to Gisela and he changed the topic to the weather and how cool it was getting in North Israel and what kind of fish Keita caught with Chaya’s son Reuven the other day. 

Judah wasn’t eavesdropping, if he had been then he’d have gotten what he deserved, but after her call to Zev she called Keita and he realized that they were in a type of relationship. He didn’t care but he also didn’t like that she was spreading herself around within the family circle. It would only make problems. He started to really think about it and realized that Aviva and Keita had probably been sleeping with each other for a long time.

He called Gisela and she confirmed it. She told him that she was going to France to visit Nikko and Mila at the apartment. She told him she missed him and loved him. She sounded sad and it made him cry. Yes, he cried when it came to Gisela. She was his most favorite thing in the world, his twin sister, his little sister. Thank God she wasn’t a boy or he’d have been robbed of her. 

She told him that she was late for her date. She’d been seeing Sebastian Lenz. He didn’t care for him but then again no one was good enough for her. He seemed to realize this himself and he’d heard Aba and Baba talking about “what if he asked her to marry him?” He knew she’d say yes. She said she’d never been happier. Judah wished she just run away to Russia and live in Dedka’s old cabin.

Gisela asked if he’d spent time with Aviva. He asked why. She just sighed, “I’m just making conversation.” Judah smiled to himself, “I know. I’m just an asshole.”

*****************

She called to tell Vati and Daddy that there had been a mistake and she made it at the ballet in Russia. Maxim and Ilya congratulated her and she said that she and Lilly and Alexi were celebrating with champagne and communism. Judah knew she’d get in.

******************

She called him, six weeks later, and told him she was pregnant. He asked if she was sure and she said she was, that she was coming home for thanksgiving with the others and she’d go to the doctor there to be sure. When she landed she came with the others and their news eclipsed each other and made their parent’s heads spin. He kept his distance from her, their arguments were hollow and more for show. He didn’t want to bring attention to them and she seemed to be thinking the same.

******************

He sat on the edge of his bed and when she walked in he heard her sigh, “I’ll go get my blood drawn after holiday.” He nodded, “How sure are you?” She shrugged, “I took eight pregnancy tests.” He snorted, “Well, guess that’s that.” She sat down on the bed next to him, “It’s interesting. The ballet said that they wouldn’t fire me for it. I’d just go on sabbatical when I got too big to practice and perform. They have a day care, some of the other women have children. Lilly and Alexi know and they’ve been good about helping me think about it.” 

He frowned, “What if they tell?” She pushed him to the side, “Don’t be so fucking stupid. They’re Russian. Have you met their mobster fathers? They’ll never snitch. Unlike you, you weak ass mother fucker.”

He hated her.

**************

She was in her room, nose running and eyes red from crying. Gisela had gone to get him and accused him of hurting her feelings. She was really mad at him and demanded that he apologize. He’d do anything she said and she knew it and didn’t make him unless she really thought he should. He walked to her room and Tuvia and Yoni were outside, “Did you two get into a fight or should we go in?” 

Yoni asked and Tuvia stared. He nodded his head, “I’m going to apologize.” He mumbled begrudgingly and Tuvia started to cackle, “Gigi must have told you to. You two need to just learn to get along, damn.” Yoni rolled his eyes, “Cold day in hell when that happens. Murder suspects behave better than you two.”

He looked at her once inside, among her things from childhood. She wore a soft grey cotton T-shirt with ballet slippers on it and something in Russian he didn’t have time to decipher, “Are you okay or what?” He wasn’t smooth, that was Ezra, that was Nikko, that was everyone but him. She shrugged, “I wasn’t pregnant. False positives.”

He knew that this was a much more complicated situation then, “Hmm so you’re sad that you are not pregnant.” She cried a bit more, blew her nose, and laughed shortly and bitterly, “I guess. How fucked up is that?” He moved towards her and sat on the edge of the bed facing her, “Would you have kept it? Why would you? I’m not judging you, but you’ve had an abortion before.” She turned to him, “Gisela told you that?” He nodded, “I won’t be repeating that either so don’t get mad at her. We’re twins. We tell each other everything.” 

She gave him a long hard look before turning her head to look out the window, “Because it was different. I’m older and it was…” He narrowed his eyes, “It was what?” 

“It was yours.” 

She said it simply as if that was answer enough and they fell into silence. “I also realized that I wanted a baby and I didn’t care if I was a single mother. I like kids, I just never thought I’d ever be a mom.” “Why?” “Because I’m just not the mom type, right? I’m too selfish and wild and I don’t want to change who I am. But, then I realized that I wouldn’t really have to do those things. Daddy and Vati didn’t change. I have this wonderful family that would love me and my child. I would have a little boy or girl and be able to keep dancing. If I didn’t want to perform anymore I could teach. I’ve already danced on the stage in Russia, Austria, Italy, Israel, France, and more. I’m young, so why not? I’m the most prepared and unprepared right now. I make my own money. I do well. But,” She paused, “maybe I’m not good enough to be a mother?”

He cleared his throat and picked at the duvet when she added, “And I couldn’t really bring myself to get rid of a piece of you.”

He hated her.

He stood up and ripped the covers back, revealing her smooth and marble colored lean bruised legs and small pink shorts. She looked up at him, watched him carefully as he stalked forward. He pulled his shirt over his head and then took her legs by the ankles in his hands pulling her down the bed, her head falling on the pillow. He took her shorts off and his all in smooth powerful motions. 

She widened her legs and her hands came to his hair carding through its undercut as he moved over and down her body where he began to kiss her roughly, their lips scorching. He inhaled as he thrust inside of her and felt her tighten up. He bit her lip lightly, she lifted her hips signaling him and in a few short heavy moments they were seizing up together, muffled sounds in each other’s mouths, finger’s bruising each other’s flesh, and then they separated.

_He hated her._

**********************

Hanukah came at the end of December and then Judah braced himself for his sister’s wedding. Sebastian proposed to her at Thanksgiving. He wanted a speedy Jewish wedding. He knew how devout she was and he was ready to play it up. He was a “convert” but Judah sneered at the word. His Baba was a convert, a real one, and Sebastian wasn’t even a fraction of the person he was. He felt like it was all a sham but she swore she was happy. 

He didn’t care for Sebastian at all but what could he say when he went to Israel for his conversion? Surely he was sincere. Surely Gisela would know if he wasn’t. He called Zev and begged him to talk to her. When Zev acted like that was too much he then asked the next best thing: follow Sebastian and figure out what kind of a person he was.

To Judah’s relief and slight surprise he was already doing that. Keita told him and Nikko that Zev had been doing a lot of strange things lately and he was trailing Sebastian long before Israel. Ezra said it was going to be a shit show when they all got together for the wedding. Judah and his brothers prepared to defend their sister and hurt her heart if need be. Bellamy, Cesare, Bianca, and Gio were all ready as well since they felt like something was brewing in their family, something was happening in the air, electric. 

Yoni and Tuvia seemed to rally around Aviva. Tuvia had been living in Krakow working on his dissertation and had been relatively cut off from the rest of them. He was a strong willed loner and that made him one of Judah’s favorite people. They’d all asked their parents if they felt it, if they felt how the world was changing and they knew they did but were for some reason reluctant to admit anything. Mila was home and was interviewing to work at the lab at the university and even she said she felt like there was something destined to become. Judah didn’t really care as long as his family was okay, his business was making profit, and he wasn’t shaming anyone.

By the time they’d all assembled, save for Zev who was on a mission, from their different places around the world, the house was booming and overflowing. Keita and Hannahlore were inseparable and it didn’t go unnoticed among the family how certain couples were forming. Hannahlore and Yoni were married. Keita approved for the most part but didn’t like his sister’s time being monopolized so much. Bellamy had always found Aviva to be most pleasing and Bianca was more than excited that Tuvia was home and asked him all about his research. She was a smart girl and liked smart men.

Ezra and Cesare were fighting playfully while Nikko and Mila exchanged glances and touches here and there. Keita flirted with Aviva while looking at Gisela like a sad puppy from time to time. Gio was alluding questions about his interests but there were suspicions that he had his eye on Lilly. Alexi had always loved Bianca but it would seem she hadn’t seen him like that yet or never would. He drank and enjoyed himself.

Aviva avoided him and he was fine with that. Unfortunately, their tempers flared when it came to Gisela’s future home plans. “She can live wherever she wants.” He reeled, “Yes, where she wants! Not where the fuck he wants.” She bit her lip and then bit at him, “You need to get off your sister’s tit you weakling.” He slammed his fist down on the table, “You’re one to talk. You’d wear her skin if you could.” She flushed red and he waited for her to go at him. He wanted to rip into her, “At least she went to college and Sebastian did too.” He threw his drink at her and it smashed against the wall missing her. 

She clenched her fists and Nikko appeared, “Judah,” he hissed, “what the hell are you doing? Are you crazy?” Judah sneered at her, “She’s always gotta be runin’ that mouth.” Nikko grabbed his face, “Listen, I don’t understand why you two have been fighting since you came out of the womb but this has got to fucking stop. You just threw a glass at her. You have got to stop taking her bait. You have got to just back away when she starts. I can’t handle you two like this all the time, no one can. We’re fucking tired. I know you, Judah. You’re hard to handle and hard to,”

“you mean hard to love, don’t you brother?”

“Yeah, you’re that but you’re worth loving and you care a lot more than you let on. I don’t know why you have to fight Aba all the time, you’re just like him when you’re calm and you’re just like Baba when he’s mad.”

Judah pulled away, “Shut up.”

“No, listen, I get it. I’m disgruntled too. I’m sick of this world and how wretched it is. I’m sick of the things going on in our country and I’m sick of what Aba and Baba have to put up with from us when we get like this. We feel things, they feel things, there is a war coming.” 

Judah didn’t want to hear it. He knew it was true and he didn’t want to hear it, not from the pacifist, not from his older brother who was his rock and took care of them all. He was like Aba, not him. He was the best of things and greatest of things. Ezra was all of the fine points of Baba. Judah was all of their ugly in one person. Gisela was salt pure, radiant, and intelligent. She was the most underrated of them all and only he knew that. He looked over at Aviva who was with Gisela. He loved his sister and he hated her.

*******************

The engagement party happened two weeks later and Zev was still missing and would miss the wedding. He’d been on a mission that went awry and they knew he was alive but undercover. Nikko told what was going on in his life for the most part. Armin and Erwin were on the phone trying to get answers the rest of the night. Dedka Zadkiel drank heavily, talked quietly with Armin and Erwin between phone calls.

Judah didn’t know how it happened but someone made the comment that Aviva wasn’t drinking and hadn’t been drinking. She told the table she was pregnant. When asked about the father she told them she didn’t want to talk about it, that it was some guy she met through Alexi and that he wouldn’t be involved. Keita manned up and declared that if it was his he’d marry her and devote all he had to her and the child. She smiled and promised him it wasn’t his. Their parents were all excited about the first grandchild they’d see. Nikko and Mila exchanged hushed whispers.

He hated her.

*******************

What was he doing here? Alexi had picked him up at the airport but had the courtesy not to ask. He drove them through Moscow's center with its barracks in preparation for any kind of retaliation from China. It was like the cold war. He wanted them to come home. This was ridiculous. Alexi and Lilly had finished their studies and we involved in more underground activities than people really knew. Their fathers didn't seem to worry but there were always risks.

Lilly was really beautiful with her long blonde goddess hair. She kept it softly curled and her eyes were brown like roasted pecans and shown against her orange vintage 60s coast. Alexi was the true mix of Maxim and Ilya, dashing, devastating, and had that look to him that left no doubt he belonged to Armin and Maxim's family tree. His hair was a strawberry blond, not too pink and not too red. Just right. His eyes were a mischievous green and brown, heterochromia seemed to be a running genetic trend in their family but this one was more pleasing in Maxim’s opinion. They were pretty people and they were good friends.

When they pulled up he frowned, "This is shit." Alexi sighed, "We're going to have her move in with us soon because we can afford more. Until then she stays at the royal ballet house dorms."

"Does she share?"

"No, she gets a private. She's pretty special." 

He scoffed at that and opened the door, "Let us know when you want dinner or to pick you up, Jude. We'll be expecting her to throw you out on the streets without proper clothes at any time." Lilly hit him playfully, "She won't. The soldiers would get you. She wouldn't want to explain to Aba and Baba." He nodded, waved at them in thanks, and climbed the massive stairs.

She opened the door, black tights on, pink leotard with long sleeves and a blush colored ribbon on her bun. She had leg warmers on, fuzzy and grey. Her little chiffon skirt transparent and tied delicately at the side. She was almost five months but her size worried him, "Are you still starving yourself? You're so thin I can barely tell a difference." 

She recoiled, she looked really wounded, "I'M underweight but the BABY is fine and in the normal levels and ranges. I am eating a ton and it's really hard so back off." She hissed and he rolled his eyes, "Well, you can do what you want with your body but it'd be shitty to ruin your baby long term for it." She honestly looked devastated he'd say these things but she knew he'd been the most outspoken about her issues with eating. Gisela fought her battles well with the help of Vati but Aviva seemed to fall plague to the curse that prevailed through generations of Armin and Maxim's family. It must be genetic. "You gunna let me in?"

She contemplated it, "Why?" "Because it's cold as balls." "You don't have any to get cold." He stared and she let him in. He looked around and wasn't satisfied, "Do they even fucking pay you?" She recoiled again and he knew he should just stop pushing but he'd never been able to do that. Never. But there was something in the way she became vulnerable that made him regret saying it like that, "They cut our pay because of......you know.....war." He frowned, "We're not at war yet. They could have waited." 

She smiled a little and giggled softly, she always spoke in Russian in the family and it was like streams running in spring through the ice of the taiga, "Mother Russia waits for no one." He had to agree. He had figured as much could be possible since speaking with Alexi. He opened his carry on and cut the bottom of the bag pulling out rolled wads of cash in US dollar, Euro, NIS, and Rubles, "Take this, exchange what you need to, keep what will go up in value. And for HaShem's sake fucking buy some new point shoes you're feet are horrible. They're not supplying quality shoes either. That's a fucking hazard." 

She merely stared at him wide eyed, "I don't need your fucking money." He rolled his eyes, haughty and exasperated, "Don't be such a bitch. I'm going to smoke." He opened a window and sat out on the ledge, he made sure he was loud enough for her to hear as she cleaned around her small apartment, "Don't even have a fucking balcony. What is this? I thought this was Mother Russia not Siberia! Sure had me fooled." She dropped her dance bag on the old parquet hardwood from the 50s, “I fucking hate you.” She hissed and he shrugged, “I hate you, too.”

**********

They fought all day about everything and anything. Then they went out to get dinner, he paid and she frowned accusing him of using his business' money and told him he should be investing it. "In what? The world is going to shit. Yoni bought a few shares actually." She raised an eyebrow, "Tuvia said he was going to buy some too. If he ever leaves Poland, that is. He's living in the woods basically. Bianca might join him."

"Think they'll?"

"Probably. Everyone will be delighted. We all seem to...." She stopped and grabbed his wine glass taking a sip. His eyes bored into her, "It's just a sip, Jude, don't worry." He hated her.

**********

They went out dancing and it seemed men were falling all over themselves for her attention. They noticed she was pregnant and didn't care in the least. A single beautiful, to some, woman in Moscow was something to enjoy. She danced seductively, charmingly. He sat at the bar and drank more till someone crossed him. Judah never shied away from a fight. She said he was a bastard that embarrassed her wherever they went. He said he hated her and had hoped she got taken home by one of those pervs. They walked home in silence till he thought about her feet and hailed a taxi.

*********

He wasn’t really sure how it started but she was over him now as he sat in the chair near the couch. He had to admit that she looked pretty hot pregnant. He was a lot more attracted than he'd ever thought he'd be but there was something to her round stomach that was barely there when dressed but seemed to change her entire body shape unclothed. 

She moved up and down on his length and he watched as her body swallowed him whole. Her eyes were closed, mouth open and panting, the occasional moan here and there as he thrust into her at different angles. He lead back, let his head rest on the back of the chair and his hands roamed her sides and then gripped her ass. This was the most nonviolent exchange they'd had but they were just fucking, make no mistake. It was to be quick and to the point.

He cupped her fuller breasts and sucked on them. He really loved her tits and she'd made comments to Gisela about them and how they were sore. He'd read that husbands should do this for their wives to lessen the pain of their milk coming in. He could feel her getting tired. It was hard keeping this pace while riding him and after her long hours at the studio he felt her muscles shake from overexertion. She was so tired and he let himself take a good long look at her, _sigh_.

He picked her up, hand slapping possessively on her bottom. Her hands raked up his back to his hair, she bit his bottom lip because she knew what he was doing. He dropped her on the bed and she fought him till he was behind her, spooning her. He lifted her leg up and put a pillow between them at the knee and then he slid back in and the sound she made, _Shit, Aviva,_. It made his cock throb and his heart skip a beat. He moved slowly, something new to him, and really took his time. He made her take her time. He kept his arm under her, safely around her. 

His other ran the length of her body, cupped her breast, kneaded her sore muscles. She made such noises he was in awe. He let his lips find her neck and he kissed and sucked purple marks that her makeup lady would scold her for. He also remembered this started with her telling him she was thinking of hiring a male prostitute or asking Alexi to sleep with her because pregnant women were extremely horney due to the hormones. He had read that too. He read a lot of things.

She bucked down on him and whined while his hand went to her clit. She turned her head back towards him, mouth open in a gasp, totally debauched look on her face. His lips touched hers and it was sloppy, teeth and tongue. They fought each other even now as they were both coming down from their blissful high.

When he pulled out and away, laying in the bed with her while she calmed down, he asked himself if he'd just made love. He snorted, _Fuck no, I hate her._

************  
He left the day after with a newly sewn bottom and a few gifts for Gisela and a few cards from Aviva to her. He had gone and bought alcohol, cigarettes, and stamps. He left them on the bed as she slept so that she’d see them and know that he meant for her to hide them somewhere she could use them if she needed them. It’s what their parents had taught them that they thought they’d never use. He walked outside looking for Alexi’s car. Moscow was white and grey. He was grey and he hated her for making him think about that.  
******************

She used the money when the tanks came in. Her rubles turned to into fetter for the fire in her apartment. The Euros helped her on the streets when she spoke flawless Russian and German buying goods at thrice the normal price. The alcohol helped her make sure that her plane tickets wouldn’t be revoked while she waited on Lilly and Alexi to finish up loose ends.

She had jewelry to bribe the customs agents and airport attendants. Her Vati had taught her the necessity of portable wealth. She used the cigarettes when a man broke in and tried to rape her and the other girls in the company. She stabbed a man who tried to rob her. She hung a man from the banister in the entrance to the ballet with a sign that said, “pigs get hung on the butcher’s hook.” She was Aviva Smith and she didn’t take no shit.

******************

She clicked her nails together and tried to sit up in the bed. She'd been home almost two months now and her Vati and Daddy were spoiling her rotten. She was uncomfortable, heavily pregnant and restless. She couldn't dance. She was to stay in bed. Baba made her mint water like he had Aunt Mikasa and she had to admit, he snuck something else into it and she didn't care because it made her feel fantastic. Her phone rang and she picked it up despite the late hour, "Are you okay?" 

Gisela sounded concerned, "Yeah, I'm just lying in bed." Gisela sighed, "oh okay. Sorry about that." Aviva knew Gisela sometimes knew things and she saw things. She was scared to admit it and Aviva bit, "What did you see?" Gisela said nothing too bad just something about the hospital and blood, something about blood. Aviva made an "Eeeekkkk" face but tried to not get too upset, "Did I...die?" Gisela tched, "No! And don't even joke like that. It was weird though. Really weird." Gisela was thinking it through and she knew she was, "I miss you. I'm due in two weeks." 

Gisela looked at the dark bar she was in front of, "I know, I'll be there. I'm just working."

"I wish you hadn't gone." 

"I wanted....to be useful."

"You wanted to be with them. I get it. I do too. But look at me, in bed, eating ice cream and Turkish delights all day while WWIII is on. What a time to be pregnant."

_He'd said that to Tuvia. He said "well, what a time to be pregnant."_

"Do me a favor, tell me what you hear about Albania." Aviva leaned up, "Of course. Vati and Daddy are trying to help as much as,"

"Nikko knows."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

A long pause, "I miss you and love you, V. Take care." The line went dead. Two best friends, sisters really, and one giant war between them. She closed her eyes.

********

The next day was fine. That night, however, not so much. She told Armin she had to go to the doctor. He rushed her over and then they were using words like anemic, danger, low heart beat, blood, and mortality. She thought about Gisela. She thought about how afraid of everything she was. They gave her a blood transfusion.

They sent her home and the next day was normal but tiresome. That night she woke up in labor, in pain. She had gone in her bathroom and then she passed out. When Erwin found her that morning, Levi had just gotten home and he was screaming. They rushed her to the hospital but there wasn't much time because she was far along. She was trying to be brave.

When Armin said he'd stay in the room for the birth she lost it, "I want....I want..." He heard her and felt horrible for her, "Who? Who sweetheart? Just tell me, I’ll go get them if it’ll make you feel better." He expected her to say Zev. He expected maybe Yoni or even Tuvia. He thought that was why it was so sad because they were all gone and soon Levi would go and then him and Erwin and Eren, fuck who would be left? Armin’s heart clenched, he felt like he’d pass out as the nurses told them they all needed to get out.

She didn't know how to ask such a thing and then he was there, she caught a glimpse of him, "I want Judah." Armin's mouth fell open and so did the mouths of Erwin, Levi, and Eren. What the fuck was going on in the world that Aviva would ever want him? She must be dying… 

******************

Gisela got off the phone and walked into the back room where Zev was sitting with Judah, smoking and playing cards. She stood awkwardly as she tried to place what it all meant in her dream and why she felt this urge to tell Judah. Sure, she told him everything, but this was different. Nikko was at the table, blood on his hands and Yoni was reading. Tuvia turned the radio on and Keita poured him a drink. Ezra was writing Cesare a letter, penmanship much better than normal. He’d been working on it since he and Baba only ever wrote quick notes for the animals at the hospital. He missed animals.

Then it was like a match ignited in her and walked over to Judah, “Get up.” He stood up, “What?”

“I can’t leave but you can.”

“What are talking about?”

“I can’t leave for another two weeks but you haven’t taken any leave at all and you finished your mission today. Uncle David needs papers brought to him in person. You’re going to take your leave, take those papers, and go to the house.”

He stared at her and Nikko made a quick look around the room and thought about what she might be implying, “You saw something.” She nodded, “Go now. A plane leaves on the hour every hour. Go and check on Aviva.” Zev sat up, “What’s wrong with Aviva?”

“I saw her have the baby early and it might be nothing but it might be something.” 

Judah’s chest burned and he grabbed the documents from Nikko’s bag. He was who was supposed to deliver them, “They won’t let me. I’m not,” Nikko took his ID off, “We’re very similar in look. Take my ID and use my full name. I don’t go by Nikko at all in Tel Aviv so no one will use Nikko with you. It’ll be Nehemiah.” Judah took his ID with the pass and hugged him, kissing him quickly. Nikko and Judah were always close and Ezra hugged him too, “Don’t upset her too much. Gigi’s almost always right.”

That was a lie, Gisela was always right about everything she saw.

*****************

Judah had just landed, rushed from the small airport in the neighboring city of Olivia. He was in his fatigues, looked like hell, smelled badly, and he walked in right when they were telling her she'd have to push. He didn't react but instead looked around taking it all in before they told the others they had to leave. Levi and Eren may own the hospital but rules were rules.

In the waiting room Jean and Marco and their kids joined them. Maxim and Ilya were in Montgomery but were on their way and Lilly and Alexi were walking in visibly upset. Levi turned to Armin who was still stunned, “Do you think she was having a stroke? She asked for Judah?” Erwin wiped his face, “Maybe she saw him and just said his name?” Eren held Levi’s hand, “I don’t hear her yelling for him to get out.” Levi was more perplexed, “He just went right in.”

A woman at the counter walked over to them, “Dr. Ackermann? Your son left these on the table for me to give them to you. He said to call David Lavie. They are important.” Levi took the packet and opened the flap, “Nehemiah? What the fuck?.....Did Judah pretend to be his brother to bring these? What the fuck is this madness.” Armin looked at the TV in the waiting room, “Al-fucking-bania….” They all sat down and waited for David to get there and tell them what this packet contained and what was to become of their first grandchild. Armin and Erwin cried holding each other’s hands while Levi and Eren consulted with the staff.

******************

He sat across from her bed in a plush white patent leather recliner that hospitals all had in birthing suites. They turned into beds for guests and they had sturdy arms for lifting yourself out of them. He was bent over, it was quiet. He asked for at least an hour and it was coming shortly to an end. She was anemic and had fallen asleep after they took the baby away. She was exhausted, no epidural; she’d gone through hell and done so beautifully. She was strong but he’d worried.

The baby was also anemic and then they discovered that none of the blood in the hospital was viable. He’d pulled up his sleeve, he knew what was going on, the same doctor who treated his family since his Baba had been attacked sighed, “You Ackermanns and Smiths are always making my staff have heart attacks.” Judah had scowled, “Just don’t tell my family.” The man raised an eyebrow, “Well, that’s interesting. Guess you’re gunna leave that birth certificate blank, too?” He had every intention of doing just that. No one needed to know he was the father.

The tiny form in his hands had been returned after his blood being used to bring it back from the edge of anemic death. It was asleep, wrapped in white, swaddled, it’s features so clear and it smelled so good he had the strangest urge to just lick it’s curly brown hair. He held it in front of him, elbows resting on his knees. He didn’t know it, but he looked just like his Aba when he held each of his children in the comfort of his home alone, just staring at the miracle that was his child, his people living on, his family continuing to grow and not die out.

He looked like a young Levi Ackermann but he felt scared. He wasn’t a father….or was he? She stirred and he looked at her, her head to side on the pillow, blond hair like a halo around her, her face pale. She’d ask that they put on her shirt she had in her bag Armin brought in. It was blush pink, long sleeved, polyester cotton blend, comfortable, falling off one shoulder. She’d put on a little weight, she looked good.

He stood up and kissed the baby, kissed it softly all over. He breathed it in and tears gathered in the corner of his eyes. It was so sweet, small, precious. It didn’t deserve a dad like him. It deserved better, someone like his Aba or Baba. God, his Aba was the best man in the world. Why was he so fucking difficult? He cried more, pressed another kiss to it.

She’d opened her eyes, saw him emotional and raw. They were alone. They wouldn’t be for long. She remembered in a flash all the horror, all the danger, “Is it okay?” She asked worriedly and he walked over to her, “Yeah, needed a blood transfusion. It had to come from me. You know, the serum business.” She took her baby, sobbing in happiness and relief, “Is that why Gisela made you come?” He smiled slightly, it contorted his face because he wasn’t happy, he was but he was sad and scared and concerned, “Yeah, she was adamant.” 

Aviva laughed but it was like a choke in her throat, “What is it?” She whispered curiously and he reached down, pointer finger gently touching its nose, “A little girl.” She cried more, sobbed, “Really? Oh, wow.” He sat near her, “How do you feel?”

“Better than ever. I’m a lot stronger than you.”

He snorted and looked down at them both and thought they were pretty beautiful.

“What are you going to name her?” She shrugged, “All the names I had don’t really fit. We have to do what our parents did. We’ve got to listen to her soul for it to tell us her name.” Judah inhaled, “Well, as much as I love the sentiment, we’ve got to at least give her a hint.” She snickered, “Something short?”

“Yeah and powerful. I want her to be strong like Hannahlore, and Gisela. Bianca and Mila. I love Mila but it’s taken.” She looked up at him, “Gaia.” He looked down, “Perfect.” She smiled, “Really?” Her nose was running and he got a tissue to wipe it, “I want a family middle name, I mean, Gaia obviously is in homage to Gisela but I want to use someone’s name in the middle. What about Marilyn?” He thought about it and tossed it on his tongue, “No, it’s just….it doesn’t flow.” She shrugged, “I don’t care, you pick whatever you think fits her.” 

She looked down at her little Gaia, “Well, hmmm,” She turned her wicked gaze at him, lips turned up in sweet satisfaction, “Gaia was on daddy’s side of the family, you know?” He didn’t, “Okay?”

“It was one of Marilyn’s stage names when she went to Sweden to perform.” He snorted, “Wasn’t she fucked up or something?” She narrowed her eyes, “And you might just take the cake.” He looked at the floor before making an hmph sound, “You know, I’ve always thought the name Olympia was neat. It’s always spoke to me. I don’t even know why because it’s not really a name but I’ve always loved it.” Aviva smiled brightly, “Meet Gaia Olympia.” She kissed her sleeping daughter and he smiled ever so faintly at the floor. He heard the door knob and stood up and away as they all rushed inside. 

Armin and Erwin were perplexed as to why the birth certificate didn’t have a last name on it yet. Judah went missing and thus he wasn’t around for them to interrogate. Gaia needed more blood transfusions and so did Aviva. She was really weak. She needed to heal and Hanji came by often to check on her. She had been doing so since she came from Russia and Aviva loved to listen to them tell her stories and they talked a lot about Mila and Nikko. Hanji was someone she could be herself around. Hanji was asked to be the godmother and she accepted. **************** 

Levi went to the house in search of his son. He found him on the back porch, wet hair, fresh clothes, cigarette, and bottle of beer crying in one of the large gliders. Levi walked towards him as he sobbed, “Aba,” he covered his face, “hold me.” Levi nearly charged the glider moving into the chair with him to hold him, his son, his youngest son who was always so hard to hold, to tame, to tolerate, but he was loved, oh he was so loved, Levi never knew such love was possible till he had Judah. He was his Judah and he would take all the bitter hate, the anger, the frustration, everything he gave him willingly, if only for just a little taste of the sweetness that lived inside of his baby boy.

Judah held onto him, “Aba, why am I so hard?! Why am I so, so disgruntled!?” Levi smoothed his hair, shushing him. He held him so tightly, pressed kisses to him, “Get up, we’re going somewhere. Don’t tell Baba.” Judah was confused, “What?”

“Get up, come on. We’ve got to go to the airport.”

Judah followed Levi through the house. He reached behind books and other places, gathered more cash than he’d ever thought was lurking around the house. He grabbed his gun, his knife. He grabbed a few more things and they were heading to the airport. Erwin had purchased a plane and he had them ready it and get a pilot. 

In two hours they landed in remote New York. They took a car to the city that was now nothing more than a dystopian ghetto. Outside they went to towards the Jewish cemetery and got out. Judah didn’t want to leave Maria with so much up in the air but if Levi told him it was important then it must be. He trudged through the vandalized cemetery, it hurt him to see it like that.

Levi stopped them eventually at a grave, it was nicer but the corner of the tomb was cracked from vandals and Levi’s eyes were wet from unshed tears. He rarely saw his Aba cry. Only during attacks, when he was scared something had happened to one of them, and when he was little and Armin was so upset about Zev. He cried for Armin like he cried for Gisela.

“This is Kenny Ackermann. This is my uncle who raised me from when I was ten to seventeen but he didn’t really. Kenny was a gangster and I was raised to be a gangster, too. Kenny was also a hired hit man and serial killer. I mean, it’s not pretty but it is what it is. He was,…he was the only father I ever had. He told me that I was fuckin’ stupid for ever seeing him as one since he wasn’t a daddy and never would be.” 

Levi got really emotional, “When I was thirteen he started spending more and more away from the apartment. I had to learn how to do for myself. By the time I was 16 I had my own gang, a good network, turf, I didn’t have to sleep with people for money that much.” Judah’s eyes were round like saucers. His father had sold himself to survive? 

“When Kenny found out I had done that he killed the people I slept with which was in some way an apology. Kenny and I always fought about this and that. We were always just going at it but I’ll tell you this, I think that was the only way Kenny knew how to say he loved me. He loved my mother, he loved her like you love Gisela. When he lost her after thinking….after thinking he’d gotten her back and then he had to look at me every day and know I was it, I was all that was left. I think he felt like it was too much pressure for a piece of shit like him. A man who liked the bottle more than people, fucked women whenever he pleased, read the Talmud on the toilet while shitting and mocked it, and ran a loyal gang that only had good things to say about him and I don’t mean he had them too afraid to say bad things, they genuinely liked him warts and all.”

“I loved him, I still love him. When he died,….I didn’t get to say goodbye and I only realized it too late he set me up with Mossad so that I’d never have to sleep with someone for food or live in a shitty New York apartment with black faux leather couches. He would let me crawl into bed with him and cry about my mama. He just wanted me to be strong because that’s how he had to be. He was just going about it all in the most fucked up ways but he was fucked up. He didn’t know any other way. He was a good man inside. He never told me about the cirrhosis because he knew I would have stayed, put him in the apartment and bitched at him while taking care of him. I would have. I feel like I missed something precious because I didn’t get to bitch and fight with him in his last minutes.”

“He died on a rainy Sabbath at 8:32 p.m. in the temple. He came after nearly 20 years of fierce rejection of God, of Judaism, of everything. He sat down, he listened to the songs, the Rabbi told me he knew he had died when he saw the life leave his eyes as they closed the doors on the Torah but that what was most comforting was that he had a smile on his face. In his hand,” 

Levi was really sobbing and had to take a long moment to compose himself, “he had,” he sucked in air, “he had a picture of me in his hand and a note in coat pocket that told me he loved me and was proud, so proud of who I was, who I would become, and that he was going to tell my mama all about what a good brat I was. He only ever wanted to see where my mother was buried but he didn’t know where it was. David knew but I didn’t get to speak to him about it and he said it wasn’t in a Jewish cemetery. He was laid to rest here, after I bribed and pleaded and threatened and beat people, and I begged God to just let me see him one more time, just one more frivolous fight.”

He turned to him, “You were born on a rainy Sabbath at 8:32 p.m and when I saw you, saw the way you scrunched your face up like you were giving a big _fuck you_ to the world I held my breath and in your nose, the bridge of your brow, I saw him. I saw him and I thanked God. Kenny Judah Ackermann would live on in Judah Jaeger Ackermann. Here, next to him, I had my mother brought to rest right next to him in this holy place. This is what I want you to see. This is why I brought you here. I don’t know if It helps any. But, I’m here, Judah. I love you no matter what. I know that there is a lot of him inside of you and I’m here to say it’ll work out just fine.” Judah sobbed, “No it won’t.” “Yes it will, Judah. Why not?” “BECAUSE, I’m not you. I’m nothing like you and Baba and Vati and Daddy. I’m too rough, too angry, to selfish.” 

Levi frowned, “We’re bad people, too, Judah. We’re not all good, plenty of bad parts. We’ve just made the conscious effort to _not_ do wrong by you or the others. We wanted a family. We wanted this and this is what we tried to do our best at. We were scared, Armin was so scared, Erwin was on anti-depressants every time one of you had a cold. I was a wreck trying to keep things clean and Eren….Baba has a lot of baggage like the rest of us. We raised you together because of a lot of reasons but we ultimately raised you all together so you’d have what we all wanted you most to have: love.”

Judah and Levi talked more and then headed to the apartment where they looked around and Levi told him stories and answered questions. When they were leaving he told Levi to wait and he walked back into Kenny’s old room. He went into the closet and opened a small hidden door. Levi watched him in cautious suspicion, “How did you know that was there?” Judah pulled a book from inside, it was thick, “You didn’t?” Levi shook his head no.

Judah spent the flight back reading Kenny’s journal that had been hidden for almost twenty five years. He let Levi read from it with him. He sat in his father’s lap, a little too big now that he was a 22 year old man. Before falling asleep Levi asked him how he felt. He thought about it before reply, “Not so frustrated anymore, actually.” Levi kissed his temple, “My sweet Judah. That is good.”

****************

Judah woke up and Levi was driving them home, “Go to the hospital.” Levi turned to look at him, “Why? It's almost 8! You’re jet lagged and need to sleep.”

“ABA, BABA’S WORDS JUST CAME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!” 

He yelled in Yiddish from the back and Levi snorted, “I know. But, I think you should sleep.”

“Take me to see bitch face.”

“Judah!”

Levi gave him a disappointed look, “We were doing so well.” He mumbled but then he thought there was something different about that _bitch face_. It lacked any venom.

He pulled up to the hospital and he and Judah walked to Aviva’s room. She was listening to Armin read the paper out loud to her while Erwin held Gaia, his eyes swam with love. Eren was on his way with food and Levi half expected to see him on the way down the hallway.

Judah opened the door and walked in towards Aviva. She sighed, rolling her eyes, “What the fuck do you want?” He smirked, “Nice to see your bitchy self has returned. All it took was the blood of the weak and their pnuma life force.” She barked a laugh, “Ha! Well, then don’t come any closer. You’ll be no match for me.” He sneered, “I could always resist a demoness like you.” She smiled viciously, “You know what they say about a dog with a loud bark?”

Levi groaned, why couldn’t they just get it together and be nice. Eren came running in like a chicken with his head cut off, “NESHAMA I HAVE, YOU WILL NOT, BELIEVE YOU CAN’T IT NO I , THIS ISN’T HOW, HOW, HOOOOOOOOW!?” Levi’s eyes widened, “Ahuvi, calm down, you’ll wake the baby.” Eren put the food down with a thud, “The baby doesn’t, it can’t take blood from the hospital.” Levi’s eyes narrowed, he gave Eren a scrupulous look, “What are you talking about? She’s had two transfusions?” Eren’s face was red, he was jumping up and down like an excited puppy, “Levi, she has the mutation. She has my blood. She can only take from someone like me because you know the serum doesn’t like to mix with blood from otthers so it has to be from me or one of our kids. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?” 

Levi was trying to, “But, how? Armin and Erwin don’t have the mutation….whose….only our blood and Marco’s and his kids are banked in stock here.” Eren stomped, “LEVI!” The doctor walked in, “Miss Smith, do you have the paperwork filled out with her name?” Aviva turned to look at the clipboard of papers. The doctor picked it up, “I haven’t finished,”

“I’ll just write Smith in and we’ll be,”

“Ackermann. She’s going to have Ackermann as her last name.” 

He took the bored, read it and signed as the father writing in “Gaia Olympia Ackermann.” Aviva was floored. Her voice small, cautious, “You don’t have to claim her. You don’t owe me anything, Judah. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want. I didn’t….you just….”

Erwin, Armin, Levi, and Eren were absolutely in shock. This was big, this was bigger than big. This mentally broke them all because surely this was the end of the world. Judah and Aviva had had sex and they now had a child. Aviva Smith had a baby with Judah Ackermann. They were, at one point, having what had to be hate sex. But, that meant that they truly didn’t hate each other. Oh HaShem….that was almost too out there to even consider.

Judah looked at her, “Whatever you two need, I’ll get it for you. Whatever you want from me, just ask.” He waited and she eventually nodded. He then walked over to Erwin and took his baby girl, “Aba, Baba, mazel tov on your granddaughter.” He turned to them and smiled.

*****************

He hated being away from his baby. He absolutely felt like he was dying and she was just at the doctors. He was leaving soon and had a gnawing in his soul at the thought of leaving her. Aviva was healing well, but that was to be expected. She was a demon. She was poison ivy and deadly nightshade. He heard a knock on the door, “Go see Aba in his office, Jude.”

Eren popped his head inside, he looked really tired, “Why are you so tired, Baba?” Eren sighed, “Jude, really? You ask your Baba that? You ask me that and act like you have no idea why I’m tired? What’s the matter with you, I’m tired because I’m your Baba and you just had a baby! You’re brother is without an ID at war! Your sister is at war too! Your brother Ezra, he’s engaged to Cesare! Can you believe it!? It’s madness here and you all don’t care at all what you’re all doing to my heart! Not to mention what you do to Aba’s, he wouldn’t want me to tell you this, you might feel guilt, but his blood pressure is up and I know that Vati’s is also up, you know you’re all killing us really! But, that’s fine because we love you all, we made you, we’re obsessed with you!” 

Judah rolled his eyes and rolled off the bed while Eren continued. It was always the same Jewish mother guilt but Aba, Aba was the worst. So, thank God it was just Baba doing it. He followed him all the way to the office before kissing him seven times and mentioning getting some sleep and some food. Judah smiled softly and went inside. Levi was at his desk working and wiped down his face, “Judah, have a seat.” 

Judah sighed, “That’s never been good.”

“No, it hasn’t.”

“Lay it on me, old man.”

Levi snorted, “You’re such a disrespectful punk.”

He smirked, “I love it.”

“Oh God, no.”

“What!? I’m _obsessed with you!_ ”

“Typical Jewish parents you and Baba are. Thank you for that.”

”So, I have some important questions for you.” Levi leaned forward, “Since Gaia is here now some legal matters need to be complete to provide for her but we have to know exactly who she belongs to. Are you positive that she is your child?” Judah’s face was red, “She’s mine.” He hissed and Levi nodded, “And you don’t need a paternity test?” Judah wanted to break something, “No! I don’t!” Levi blinked, “The reason I ask is because Keita is sure she might be his.” 

“Then ask Aviva when she last fucked him. I know when I fucked her and I can fucking count to 40 weeks and account for her coming a little early.” Levi’s eyes widened, “So, you and Aviva have been in a relationship or?”

“Fuck no, we’re not together or some shit like that. We…. I don’t fucking know. We don’t talk.”

Levi just threw his hands up before closing the binder in front of him, “I cannot understand this. I’m fucked up, Judah. I’m really fucked up but this is just insanity. You slept with Aviva,” 

“Fucked”

“I will not say that in regards to her. You had sex with Aviva and haven’t spoken?”

“We’ve spoken but we’ve not spoken about me being the father. She never asked for me, but she did.”

Judah was uncomfortable, what had they done? “It didn’t need words.”

“She asked you to get her pregnant?” Levi thought he was having a stroke, “I might be having a stroke.”

Judah snorted and sighed, wiping his face, “I’m gunna be straight with you, just this once. I don’t wanna have this conversation again so you can tell Baba or Vati or well, hell, Daddy will hound you for it. Aviva showed up at the club when she thought she was rejected from Russia. She was drunk, sloppy, men were all over her. I got them to leave her alone and she didn’t appreciate it. We drank more. Somehow we ended up fucking at the club. We never talked about it and just went on with our lives.”

”Then she told me about six weeks later she was pregnant. I went to help Gigi move. I came back and she said she’d get her blood drawn and that’s what she did.” 

Levi had to stop him, “Judah, that doesn’t add up at all.”

Judah nodded, “Gigi came and got me, told me she was upset and demanded I apologize.”

Levi’s mind flickered with remembrance, “I remember.”

“She wasn’t pregnant.”

“What?” 

“Let me finish and then you can give me your comments.” 

Judah stared at him and Levi cocked his head to the side, “Brat.”

Judah paused, “I don’t want this repeated….” Judah appealed to Levi who thought that was strange, “What would you not want repeated?” 

”I just realized for this to make any sense I have to tell you a secret and I feel bad.” Levi’s heart fluttered, his little Judah didn’t want to tell a secret that wasn’t his to tell and it made him feel bad. God, he loved him, his bratty ass son.

“Okay. I understand but I won’t understand if you don’t tell me.”

Judah bit his lip, “Gigi and I tell each other everything but I’ve not told her that I’m Gaia’s father. I never told Gigi. I…need to apologize but she had told me when they were in France Aviva got pregnant and had an abortion. 

”So, as best as I can, verbatim or as close as possible our conversation went something like: “Why are you sad that you’re not pregnant? Would you have kept it? Why would you?” And she said….she said the damndest things….she said “Because it was different. I’m older and it was…” And I pushed it because it was different…like the room was different…the tone it was all so different so I asked, “It was what?” And she said, “It was yours.” And it was just so-so. “It was yours.” She then said, “I also realized that I wanted a baby and I didn’t care if I was a single mother. I like kids, I just never thought I’d ever be a mom.”

“So I asked, “Why?” And she snorted, derisively, she was so disgusted with herself, “Because I’m just not the mom type.” And I thought, damn, I know that feeling. She just started going off and I could relate she said “I’m too selfish and wild and I don’t want to change who I am. But, then I realized that I wouldn’t really have to do those things.”

“She made a point that y’all didn’t change and stated the truth, “I have this wonderful family that would love me and my child. I would have a little boy or girl and be able to keep dancing. If I didn’t want to perform anymore I could teach. I’ve already danced on the stage in Russia, Austria, Italy, Israel, France, and more. I’m young, so why not? I’m the most prepared and unprepared right now. I make my own money. I do well. But,” The she paused again, so self conscious and not at all like the bitch wolf she is and said, “maybe I’m not good enough to be a mother?” and I thought, what the fuck? What the actually FUCK?

And then she couldn’t look me in the eye anymore and she said words that literally will haunt me for the rest of my life, Aba. I will never forget this moment. Never. She said verbatim, “And I couldn’t really bring myself to get rid of a piece of you.”

Judah went quiet and Levi felt like he was in a car crash simulator and was currently fracturing into pieces of orange flesh because this shit was bananas _b a n a n a s_.

_Levi was now on the bleachers with Gwen Stefani in a cheerleading uniform while Eren ran for a touchdown. It was so bananas. Nothing made sense. This must be an alternate universe._

“I….I …..” Judah was struggling in serious and Levi felt bad for him. He hated sharing his feelings but he could always do it within the family. “And so I just….pulled the covers off of her and fucked her. We didn’t speak. I left. She left for Russia. Christmas she told everyone she was pregnant. That’s how I found out. We still didn’t speak, just had a fight about Gisela. Then the wedding happened and we looked for Gisela but we didn’t speak….when I had leave for a mission and Gisela told me that she thought things were about to go down I…” 

Judah cleared his throat, “I smuggled a lot of money into Russia in different currencies and stayed with her for about a day and a half. I didn’t have long off and I needed to meet Gigi and the others for a meeting in Stockholm. She wanted to stay in Russia. I got her stamps, alcohol, fabric, you know things you all taught us to do in times like this and I left her a ring but she didn’t use it. I saw it in her room. She must have used other ones.”

He seemed so small and tired, “I just figured that she’d raise it and love it and it would all be fine.” 

“You were never going to step forward.” 

“If she asked me to step forward I would have. But she would never.”

“Why?” “Because she…wouldn’t have.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because wouldn’t it have been more advantageous to say it was Keita’s child?” 

Levi was a little impressed, “True, he’d have married her. So, why didn’t she?”

“I think, Aba…you don’t see things like we do.”

Judah stood up, “So, Gaia is mine unless Aviva says that she slept with Keita and I don’t think he went to Russia and I don’t think he slept with her that weekend. He was preoccupied with Sebastian and Gisela like we all were.” Judah gave Levi a hug and a kiss, “I’m going to find Baba.” 

“Please do that. He’s dying for affection.”

Judah smiled, “You need affection, Aba.” He gave him a kiss, “I love you.” Levi wanted to cry, “I love you, Judah. Please, don’t fight me in serious so much.” Judah nodded, “Watch my baby girl for me.” Levi wouldn’t have done anything else. He finally had a grandchild and a another little girl to spoil.

****************

Judah had to return to Israel, especially since he’d taken Nikko’s ID, and needed relieve his brother. He went back undercover, he went back to the killing fields. It was hard. He missed his daughter. She called him when he could take calls. She face timed him when he had internet. He got pictures from his Aba and Baba. He got pictures from Aviva. They were worried about him.

He was different. Nikko was different. Gisela was beyond words. There was something in them that was more lethal than the others. His pacifist brother was a killing machine. His sister, sweet baby sister by two minutes was one to be feared, a modern Gold Meir. Zev was always with her, they were the future. 

It was clear that the Ackermanns, Lavies, Smiths, Kirschstein-Bodts, and Aristovs were something different entirely and the Mossad gave them free reign. They were working on getting them their own division. That way they could come and go and were not forced to stay like common soldiers. They were an international team and Armin, Levi, Eren, and Erwin were being plugged in more and more so that their children were finding things out about them they never thought possible. But, Judah was still the one that ticked differently. Well, he was named after a serial killer.

*****************

Three months gone and he was back for a month and all he wanted to do was run his business and spend time with his daughter and oddly enough her mother. Aviva taught dance at the university, Russia unsafe to return to. But, she danced in Atlanta and Montgomery in shows and he was going to keep Gaia for her when she had to leave. He was okay with their arrangement. It was great.

Till it wasn’t.

She came in, pink leather dress on, with some older guy who was attractive but Dedka Zad would say he was a scoundrel. Judah wanted to fight him, he hated looking at him and the way he had her in his arms, the way he lavished her, champagne and roses. This was a seedy establishment, why bring her there?

He hated him, he hated her so fucking much. What was she doing? Maxim walked over, he had a rag and had been wiping the tables down. Ilya and Maxim were his backers and had since been since he was 18. He needed them when he first opened to get the alcohol license and everything. They ran it when he wasn’t there and they were shareholders. They also used it as a way to cover other things but he didn’t give a shit.

Maxim leaned next to him, “That’s Aviva’s boyfriend.’ Judah’s anger flared, ‘What?” He kept his voice even, “His name is Charles and he works in Atlanta. He’s rich, super rich and he owns an art house, loves Jean’s work.” So a snob with cash. He fucking wanted to punch him. He pawed at her, treated her like she was made of glass. Didn’t he know she was made of steel? That she had iron teeth? That she liked the dirt and muck of the world more than diamonds and pearls? Didn’t he know that was her sore side, the one with ribs that never healed correctly after she fell off a horse? Doesn’t he know he has the type of woman that wants to be thrown around and challenged and not some high society flower? Fuck him. “He’s trying to get her to marry him.” Judah seethed, “Has he met my daughter?” Maxim shrugged.

Maxim knew what he was doing. Ilya knew too. It was all of them, the adults, who wanted to see just how this would play out with them.

He waved her over and she stood up slinking towards him at the bar. In the dark lights her beau had to squint but didn’t seem too concerned. He went back to drinking his scotch. _Sick bastard._ She walked behind the bar and right in front of him picking up a bottle of vodka like all those months ago, “You summoned me, Master Judah?” 

She put her lips on the rim of the bottle and he wanted to lean her over the counter and spank her, she vexed him so, “Who is he?”

“Who? Charles? Just someone I’m seeing.” 

His temper was getting out of hand, he moved forward, their bodies pressed together, he lowered his lips to her ear, “Is he around Gaia? Do you bring men home and around my daughter?” He growled and she arched her back like cat, she hissed, “No, I don’t bring anyone around her. What kind of person do you think I am?” 

His words were gruff and biting, venomous and hateful, “A mean ass bitch.”

“I date him, he’s got money. It’d be an advantageous relationship.”

“Oh, Aviva,” His voice exaggerated and mocking, “I had no idea you were a whore! So,” he ripped the cash register drawer open, money popping out, “How much?”

Maxim and Ilya watched, ready to step in if they had to. They had hope still, though. She leaned up on her tip-toes mouth at his ear now, “How much for what, Judah?” His hands flew up, one gripped her arm keeping her against him, the other at the base of her neck in her hair pulling at the roots, “How much to keep you satisfied? I’ll pay, whatever it is you demoness. I’ll give you my soul if that’s what it costs. How much do I need to give you monthly? How much of my soul have you already not feasted on? Tell me and I’ll make it so.”

She didn’t speak and he tightened his grip again, “I’ll do whatever it takes, Aviva, do you understand? Do you get what I’m saying?” He pulled on her hair when she didn’t respond and her breath hitched, “Yes.” He relaxed his hold, “Now, you go tell that bourgeoisie piece of shit to get the fuck out of here or I’ll kill him. I’ll fucking kill him right now.”

He let go of her and she stepped back looking at him, “You want to give this a try, Judah?” He looked down at her. Gritting his teeth he responded, “Yes. Now fucking get him out of here and no more of this, no more men. I’ll give you everything if you try this with me. Who else, Aviva, who else but me is gunna put up with you this way? Hell, who else is gunna put up with me this way? We’re so fucked up this might work.” She recoiled and he cursed her, “You just want to control Gaia. This has nothin’ to do with me, Judah.”

His mouth opened, “I loathe to admit it but I fucking can’t stand the thought of another man touching you, fucking you, being with you like that. It’s about Gaia, sure. But, if it was just that I wouldn’t be asking to be with you. I think our past exchanges would lend credence to the fact I should feel anything else but affection for you.” She laughed bitterly, mockingly, “You feel _affection_ for me?!” He spat, “Maybe!” She shut up, he was serious. He didn’t mean to say and he didn’t know he felt like that till that moment. She was shaking, “I’ll tell him to leave. I won’t tease you.”

She made him leave and she sat watching the show for the rest of his shift.

Ilya and Maxim were cautiously optimistic but the silence concerned them.

*******************

“That night in Russia,”

“Shut up.”

He had her blindfolded, pressed against a pole in a private room. It was circular, mirrors on all of the walls with the pole in the middle. The light was sapphire blue and so were her the strands of platinum locks among the gold. They were straight, bangs cut across like Vati’s when he dressed like a woman. He stood in front of her, his chest against hers as his fingers trailed up her thighs pushing the tight leather up. He looked at her ass in the mirror over her shoulder, watched how his lips parted hotly in awe, looked at her lithe form, her strong legs, her upside down crescent curves of her bottom as he exposed it, her black thong only visible at the top, the other strip between her cheeks where his fingertips traced lightly as he rested his hands on the nubile flesh.

His fingers kneaded them. “You got your dancer body back in no time.” His voice was gruff, it was meant to be a snide remark about her eating disorder but instead the timbre betrayed how aroused he was and she smirked, “I’m a professional. You could learn a thing or two about disciple.” Her lips whipped up into a full smile, wicked and taunting. 

He growled, lifted her up by her cheeks, poll sliding between them as he watched, his lips covered hers and he brought her up to where her long legs could wrap around him, “Fuck you, Judah.” She said pulling away, thin ever so small trail of saliva connecting them as his forehead gently bumped against hers. He pulled back and looked at her mouth, “Enter hell with me, Aviva.”

**********************

Judah listened to the beeps of face time and laid his head on the table in his small room he shared with Gisela. She wasn’t there often, most of her time she spent destroying Zev’s life but he’d earned it and he knew eventually she’d let it die down enough for them to hopefully make peace. Zev was Erwin, Gisela was Levi. It was insane. It was going to be a long night and he just wanted to see his little girl’s face.

The screen came on and she was there, nestled in her blanket and eyes opened, “Say, hey daddy.” Aviva’s baby doll voice crooned and the small sounds from Gaia made Judah’s heart sore and twist in pain. He wanted her, wanted to hold her. God, he wanted to smell her and just stare at her. He was on the verge of tears the entire first twenty minutes before she fell asleep and Aviva got up to put her in her crib in the corner of her room. She gave it a push and set the timer. It hung from the ceiling and could swing by itself for whatever amount of time you set it for. Something Daddy and Aba had found and gotten her. He thought it was pretty useful. He liked that she slept with her so close to her.

Aviva sat back down, makeup still on, small cat eye, big natural lashes, and her was in a high messy ponytail, bangs covering her forehead. She had on her signature pink satin robe. She gave him a signature catty look, “So, motherfucker, you sure don’t make it easy to get a hold of you.”

“You need somethin’ bitch?”

“Maybe I do.”

“What the fuck do you need? You get your money, you’re not hurting. I take care of my shit.”

“You didn’t want me to see other people.”

“Yeah, you tellin’ me you couldn’t keep that promise?”

“I’m tellin’ you I don’t want to live like I’m in a monastery.”

She quipped and he leaned back, flabbergasted short burst of laughter. 

His hand covered his mouth, eyes narrowed predatory like, “Oh, well, I had no idea that it took such a short time for cobwebs to form on that cunt of yours.” Her eyes narrowed and it made him hot to get her so fucking mad. He wanted her angry, so fucking angry that she would stew for weeks. That had always been his goal since they were little kids: piss Aviva the fuck off.

“Maybe I should have taken matters into my own hands.” She said cooly and he smirked devilishly, “You don’t want to do that.”

“Why?’

“Because you have no idea what I’d do.” 

“I have an idea. You make the mistake that I even have the ability to care.”

“Yeah,” he hissed sensually, “you’re fucking cold. You’re such a cold hearted succubus. I bet men think that you love them when you tell them. If only they knew your words were deceptions.”

“At least I keep my promises. Your word doesn’t mean shit.”

He slammed his fist down on the table. That really did piss him off, “Fuck you.”

“Fuck me.” She hissed and he had to admit he was pretty hard at the thought.

”Make it worth my time.” She laughed mockingly, “I’m who you need to court, bastard. I can easily find someone else. You’re locked in with military protocols till you get your own unit.”

“How do you know about that?”

“Gisela. She’d tell you to not to piss me off either.”

He chewed the inside of his check, “You’re doin’ me dirty.” 

She was hateful, “Damn straight. Get undressed and don’t disappoint me.” She stood up and he could see her better, her skin was so nice and smooth and her lips were parted. She was really fucking hot and it annoyed him. It did more than that.

He hated her.

But he made sure to put on a show.

*********************

He looked at the blood on the floor as the spray of the water pressure machine cleaned the walls. It all mixed, blood and water. He couldn’t do this anymore. He couldn’t follow orders like this anymore or he’d keep fucking up like this. Nikko looked at him and Gisela shook her head, “I’ll take the blame.” Ezra cleared his throat, “No, it’s my turn.” Ezra put his hat on, “We’ve got to get a list. We’ve got to get it all tied up. I want to go home and launch from there. I’m tired of sand and I’m tired of how long this is all taking.”

He left and Judah tried to quiet the noise in his mind. Gisela’s arms wrapped around him, “You’re going home.” 

“I won’t leave you.” 

“I’ll follow.” 

“No,” he whined pitifully, “No, Gigi, noooooo I need you.” 

“I need you free and not in jail.” 

Judah sobbed, “You all,” he looked at Zev and Yoni as they entered, “You all hate me. You’re all ashamed.” Zev and Yoni shook their heads, “Are you serious?” Yoni started, “We’re in agreement. But, we’re also responsible for you. Gisela covers her tracks better. You just went too far this time and we need you out and safe before someone finds out. We’re not ashamed and we’re not upset.” Zev cleared his throat, “You think I haven’t done the same? There’s a lot of people that got too close to her and I …well….” 

The flickering yellow bulb in the middle of their section of the underground cement room illuminated the twisting swirls of blood and water as it fell through grates in the floor. Nikko finished his cigarette and threw it in the grate where it disappeared. _What are Gaia and Aviva doing right now?_

***************

His phone buzzed as he laid on his bed. Gisela had just showered and walked into the room, “I love you. I’m going to see Nikko.” He nodded, “I might face time Aviva and Gaia.” 

“Good, you should.” 

She disappeared and he checked his message. 

“Play with me.” It was a caption beneath a provocative picture of [Aviva](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/dd/2d/75/dd2d751c906fec7cc88e1f382ac406de.jpg) in her lingerie. She sent them often and randomly and they made him groan. She was horrible, insufferable, bitchy, but she was fine as hell and these picture would make a man weak in any state. Her body was curvy in the right poses and made him pant thinking about if that strap had just been a bit lower or higher what he’d see.

She wanted sexual attention and if he didn’t give it she’d go elsewhere. He couldn’t let that happen. Other men might come around his child. Plus, he gave her a lot of money so she wouldn’t be looking for a sugar daddy, what if she was looking for husband? His anger flared at the thought and he didn’t want to think about what that must mean or could mean at all. He didn’t have time for that.

He’d realized he was pretty lucky, actually. Aviva was good looking and the other day when she’d blown his phone up his friend, or what he might call a friend, Ori sat down next to him, leaning back on his pack and looked over, “Damn, sorry for looking over and seeing but daaaamn. That’s your girl?” Judah squirmed a bit, slightly smug, “Guess you could say that.” “She send things like that all the time? Shit, that’s hot.” Judah tried to repress his smug ass smirk, “She likes to complicate things.” Ori laughed, “Yeah, my mind would be mush if she was sending me things like that. I’d be pitiful in the field.” Judah was often distracted when he heard his phone for that reason.

It buzzed again and he opened it up.

She was dressed in this sweet blue and white set hugging a huge stuffed animal he’d had sent to her. She wasn’t in pink but then he figured the stockings were just really pale pink. She only wore pink, something had to be pink on her or she’d flip out.

**Bitch** : Thanks for my stuffie. 

He sent a reply back.

**Loser:** Whatever.

He waited for her reply and when the phone buzzed he flipped it open much quicker than he’d like to admit.

**Bitch** : And the [flowers](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/6c/3e/d2/6c3ed2332690f0612ecb32c2ac1f6d48.jpg) are adequate. You could do better. A girl at the company gets these and I’d rather have things others didn’t.

_The fucking nerve of this bitch to complain about 500 dollar roses because some other girl got similar ones. I mean, what the fuck she’s so greedy and insatiable!_ He stewed for a while thinking about it. _I could have Daddy tell me of another place. He gets flowers for Vati all the time. I mean, she should be happy that I’m literally on a different continent and have arranged for gifts to still be delivered to her and take care of Gaia’s needs and keep control of the business’ needs._

He felt his phone buzz and looked at the message.

**Bitch** : Look at what I dressed [Gaia](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a3/04/bb/a304bb1b482b779d1de1a747f4132aab.jpg) in today. She was so awake. I told her to smile for daddy.

He looked at the photo and burst into tears. He wanted to see them. He wanted to go back. He needed to go home. He didn’t want to leave Gisela but he needed to go home.

**Loser:** Those eyes are gorgeous. Tell her I love her.

**Bitch:** Every day.

****************

Aviva started to feel odd. She would wake up, eat breakfast. It was always the same, half a grapefruit, two eggs, greek yogurt, a piece of toast no butter. She’d feed Gaia and read, she’d stretch while Gaia had tummy time and then she’d take her to one of her grandparents to watch. She’d head to the school to teach and practice or Atlanta to practice and perform. She’d come home, she’d have pumped at lunch and that’s the milk they used the next day for her at lunch when she was away, she’d feed her. She’d eat something for dinner like a piece of protein and salad. 

She didn’t normally eat lunch but sometimes the other half of grapefruit and some nuts were what she’d call lunch. She’d play with Gaia, bathe her, and she’d send pictures of her to Judah. Sometimes, though, she didn’t have to go anywhere and would practice at home and spend all her time with Gaia and would face time Judah. She actually looked forward to face timing him.

She was worried about him.

_Ewwwwwwww he’s so yucky._

She stepped out of the shower and looked at the fogged [mirror and without much thought she wrote in it and sent it off to Judah. She’d not heard much from him lately but Gisela said he was in a funk and that she shouldn’t worry too much. Zev had said the same thing and he and Judah were really close and she felt safe with him watching over him. Her phone went off and it was Gisela:]()

**Wifey** :Judah is coming home and will be landing in about three hours. Apparently, the text didn’t go through to you from Zev and I know Judah didn’t text you because he wants to be alone but I don’t want him to be alone. If he gets mad, show him this.

**Wifey** : G, why is he coming home? I’ll pack up and head to the airport. Which one?”

**Wifey:** : We’re all coming home for a little while but Judah first. There was an incident and I had a talk with Keita. It’s complicated. When I can call I’ll give more details. I hate writing things like this you know? Just….I think you should be there. Aba could come but not Baba.

**Wifey:** So, bring the one that won’t be all emotional. Got it. Okay, where?”

**Wifey** : OH SORRY Atlanta. Btw, send nudes. Lol I’m lonely.

**Wifey:** YOU HAVEN’T BEEN SENDING ME ANY! Plus…you have my brother.

**Wifey:** What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. But srsly go bc you know time and junk. I love you.

Aviva told her she loved her too and sent a message to Zev telling him to call her when he could. She went to her closet and stared before picking out an outfit. She didn’t know what to wear in this case. She wanted to make an impression. _Ewwwww why? What’s wrong with me?_ [She](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/f3/83/ae/f383ae6314c6014789917779047837f2.jpg) grabbed her purse that she used as a [diaper bag](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/d1/7c/d0/d17cd05dd75fec2dc40ddf238706c2ee.jpg), another gift from Judah, and left to head to Aba and Baba’s room. She peeked inside and saw Aba with Gaia playing and watching a show on the TV, “Aba….are you alone?”

Levi looked at her, “Yeah?” “Um Judah is landing in Atlanta in three hours and G wants me to pick him up but I’m thinking maybe you’d want to come or?” Levi looked pained, “Do you want me to go because yeah I want to go but without Eren…I think that’d hurt his feelings.” Aviva nodded and looked around, “Should I take her?” Levi looked really confused, “Would…you think he’d…just want to see you? Or are you thinking…I’ll just come.” She shook her head, “No, Baba would be upset. Just…well…” She showed him the first part of her conversation and he frowned, “This…okay…sounds like he’s done something.”

She laughed, “Isn’t that loser always doing something? Come on, princess.” She took Gaia, “Let’s get our coats and go see daddy?” Gaia smiled, “She’s getting so big.” She said sadly and Levi shrugged, “Yeah, look at all of you shitheads…you all grew up and left. You’ve all left us, your parents. Why would you hurt us like that?” 

“UGH ABA NOT THE GUILT!” 

“WHAT? I’M OBSESSED WITH YOU! I LOVE YOU!” 

He really did and she gave him a kiss, “Almost six months old. I can’t believe it.” 

“Let me know if y’all are going to get dinner there or not so I can cook something.” 

“Okay, love you.” She left and grabbed her [coat](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/11/e5/e7/11e5e71f4f0c55d149ff13bc2e7c8629.jpg) and they headed out to her [car](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e7/28/59/e728592aa841153929c5f34d17b85d96.jpg) that Judah had just got her much to their parents shock because they knew he was making good money but damn, they were impressed. Maxim and Ilya didn’t seem so impressed and she wanted to find out just why that was. 

On the way Gaia did well and she looked at her wrist, her bracelets reflecting the setting sun. The first was a [cartier bangle love bracelet](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/89/be/08/89be08dddbc88ee2785c827a0ac9cb38.jpg) that her Vati had gushed over when he saw it. He loved the love bracelets and had a few from Daddy to prove it but her bracelet had been custom made. Judah had it sent after he left when they entered into their agreement. Her other bracelet was part of her push present he gave her before his two weeks were up. She’d thought that was interesting but he’d claimed it was only fair and that uncle David had done the same for Mikasa. She looked at the tiny star burst [bracelet](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e3/ab/65/e3ab65b79f62ce93b320ddafa76a3bae.jpg) and thought about the [necklace](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/7f/9f/8a/7f9f8abb518c375d354f5bdebe4d0329.jpg) and [earrings](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/c7/7c/ed/c77ced98de1417edf02ec872ea1ff593.jpg) she currently wore. She had to admit, Judah was giving her the lifestyle she wanted. After sugaring and being raised the way she was she was high maintenance. She was a lot of things. But, she’d be fine without it as long as she had Gaia and Gaia was taken care of. Honestly, she would.

When they got to the airport she did valet knowing if she didn’t he’d be pissed because it was really cold. She carried Gaia in her carrier, pulling her [coat](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/84/e4/6b/84e46b4ee0b180663a02387f054dc07c.jpg) tighter around them while a very handsome man opened the door a little too eagerly. She knew she looked good, long hair past her waist, trimmed bangs, and pretty little girl in her arms. Gaia was so sweet looking with her [bow](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/c5/e9/cb/c5e9cbc05485f711e5b566ef45747250.jpg) and underneath her jacket her little sweater was warm and comfortable. Her little [shoes](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/74/86/16/74861613d5c19c1c490269ae7c8e1026.jpg) had made Gisela squeal and she’d bought her many pairs which Aviva had loved. 

She walked up to where luggage and pick up was and waited. Checking the screens for flight times. She saw his was unloading right now. Gaia put her hand in her mouth and chewed on it. Aviva smiled and kissed her all over, “Ya lyublyu tebya, Gaika.” Her eyes were closed for a bit while she smiled and smelled her little girl and just enjoyed holding her. 

She was waiting for her father to appear, waiting for Judah to join them. For the first time in their lives he’d been away for a long time, not her. He’d gone somewhere and left her. She’d always been the one leaving. Aviva had been away from her brothers and from Gisela and her brothers for a long time and it made her so sad. 

Gaia cooed and moved in her arms. She put her back in the baby [carrier](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/16/3e/28/163e28c35a5221be8af0b41a2e093cbb.jpg) on her chest and bounced her while they waited. She started to have anxiety; maybe he’d be angry? _Well, who the fuck cares at least he had someone to come and pick his ass up and why would he not want to see his child?_ Then he was there, coming down the escalator, dressed like a punk and he had bruises on his jaw and neck. He was standing like he was nursing a wound under his shirt and she stared at him. 

Soon he saw them and his face was unlike anything she’d ever seen. It was the strangest, the freakiest, thing and she was suddenly very nervous and concerned about how she looked, should she be there, should she say hi, should she just give him Gaia, or what? He pushed through the people as he ran down the escalator and he used his bag as a ram when a few didn’t move out of the way. 

When he was about five feet from her, bottom lip quivering, he paused and then nearly leaped forward to grab her and kiss her. She was shocked and froze. His face ducked down and he kissed the top of Gaia’s head, inhaled her, his hand gently felt her face and the large bow on her head, he was crying, “Bitch, did you have to put the biggest bow in the world on her? She’ll get a crick in her neck you demoness.” He looked up at her and she merely blinked, he was so emotional and he was only ever this emotional when it involved Gisela.

He searched her face and she tried to snap back into reality, “I think you should just be happy someone is here to pick your sorry ass up. Let’s go.” She pulled back from him and he rolled his eyes, “It would be better if you hadn’t. You’re such a fucking joy.” She laughed shortly, mockingly, “I know.” 

She led them to the valet, Judah’s scowl made the man from earlier cringe and look at her like, “really? This guy?” She had her car pulled up and he snorted, “At least you were smart enough to get valet. It’s fucking freezing and she’s got nothing on the top of her head.” Aviva didn’t like being critiqued about her parenting, “Fuck off, I know when she needs a real hat and when she doesn’t. Her ears are covered and it’s not going to take long you asshole.” 

She ended with real heat and he smirked, “Knew that nice polite routine wasn’t going to last long.” When the keys were being handed over he took them, “I’ll drive.” She scoffed, “Why? You just got back and now you run this?”

He paused and then looked her in the eyes, “Yeah, I run this, I make sure you’re taken care of and that you don’t have to drive yourself around or do menial tasks while I’m here to do that for you. So, sit in the fucking passenger seat, baby girl. Act like the princess you are.” She wanted to slap him but he was serious. He was…serious but his tone…her tone…everything was so hostile. She just went and put Gaia in and then sat in the passenger seat while he waited and warmed the car up more. 

“Where do you want to eat?” She looked over at him, “I didn’t know if you’d want to get something somewhere or just go home. Aba said he’d cook if you didn’t want something here.” 

“What do you want?” 

She stared, “Since when the fuck do you care?” 

“I guess we’ll get something here. I’m starving. Text Aba not to worry.” He drove out of the airport and into the city.

They were listening to the music she had and Gaia was getting fussy, “I have to feed her soon. Just let me do it in the car and then we can go in wherever and eat and she’ll be asleep.” He frowned, thinking, “Why wouldn’t you just feed her in the restaurant?” She flushed, “Judah don’t fucking play dumb.” 

“I’m serious!” 

“Because people say shit. They get angry if I do. I don’t want to put a blanket over her. Aunt Mikasa was right it’s bad for socialization and it makes them associate eating with shame and all of that. It’s also hot and uncomfortable and I _refuse_ to willingly feed her in a bathroom. Aba and Vati would die if I did that and I’d feel horrible.” Judah pulled into a parking lot where there were restaurants that they could eat at. He left the car on and she fell silent.

“You worry she’ll associate shame with eating?” He asked quietly and she bristled, “Yeah.” He tapped the steering wheel, “Why?” He asked softly and she reeled, her buttons pushed, “Because I don’t want her to be like me, is that what the fuck you want to hear? I don’t want her to be fucked up like me so I will do everything I can to help that not happen. Plus, you fucking think I like having people yell, get angry at me just because I’m feeding my child? It’s terrifying and has happened in areas where mothers are encouraged to feed.” 

Judah was honestly surprised and confused, “People yell at you?” “Yes! They get so angry, it’s terrifying.” Judah stared at her more, “And you care what they think? Aside from the aggression, do you…care?” She turned around to get Gaia and he could tell he’d pushed too far but she answered, “Yeah when they’re calling me a bad mother I do.”

He watched as she removed her jacket and she was extremely beautiful to him as she handed him Gaia in her pale pink body hugging dress. She moved her hair over her left shoulder and he watched as she unzipped the back of her dress. He was curious how one would feed in a dress like that and then she pulled her right shoulder down and her arm out of the sleeve revealing her [bra](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/59/83/dc/5983dc9c4a778a6957d54fec465a5885.jpg) and right breast. 

He had a lump in his throat as she slid the bar strap down to reveal her breast. She nodded to him and he gave a fussy Gaia to her where soon enough she was quieted and feeding. Aviva looked down at her and he looked at them both. It was like being in the hospital again and seeing them together from above. He wiped a hand down his face and turned the music up a bit while she rested her head on the back of the seat and sighed.

Judah looked back over, he couldn’t look away. He watched them and then moved his hand out to gently touch Gaia, “She’s so big.” Aviva smiled sadly, “I know. Don’t talk about it or I’ll cry.” He didn’t know what to say anymore. He didn’t want to talk about why he was home or any of it. 

He wanted to remember her like this for the rest of his life, “Can I take a picture of this?” He asked suddenly and couldn’t believe that thought had come out of his mouth. She looked at him, slight blush to her cheeks, “Yeah. You can always take pictures. These are your memories too.” Judah wanted to cry but he just pulled his phone out of his pocket and proceeded to take the picture.

When they went inside Gaia was asleep peacefully and Aviva let Judah carry her. He kissed her head and smelled her. When they sat down they had a typical conversation that wasn’t so venomous and most of their common concerns were for Gaia. She asked if he’d gotten the marks on his neck from a girl and he’d replied cockily that he could keep it in his pants. 

She’d taken that as an accusation and they’d ended on a sour note with Gaia waking up and fussing from not such a good nap. She cried in the car and Aviva sat in the back with her to take care of her needs. She noticed that from time to time Judah would be starring in the rearview mirror at her and it was a look she vaguely remembered from Russia. She felt conflicted. She felt a lot of things. 

******************

He came into her room before bedtime and she looked at him, “Why are you here?” “Because Gaia is in here.” He walked over to the crib and looked at her. She looked back to her bed, “Do you want to sleep in here?” “Wow, now you’re using those fancy degrees.” “Don’t expect me to say okay and fucking insult me!” He looked at her like he was a predator, like he was going to devour her, “What if I just fuck you real good?” She shut her mouth, “You’re a bastard.” She went into the bathroom to finish her routine.

She appeared later in her [robe](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/9e/17/d3/9e17d3c558fd1309cf9bdebb0b209706.jpg), hair in a messy bun and he was there in the doorway waiting, “You always wear that same shitty robe.” She gave him a wicked look, “Yeah, and you always have that same shitty look on your face, you uneducated loser.” He moved forward up to her and she slapped him, he grabbed her arm and pushed her against the wall, “What you got on under there?” 

His voice was deep in his chest and it was so heavy. 

She moved her head up, lips right by his ear, “Nothing for you.” He let a bark of laughter out, “Ha, all you want to do is fuck.” “Someone other than you. I’m not even sure I’ve ever had an experience with you in person that alcohol or emotional duress wasn’t responsible for.” He attacked her mouth, tongue plunging inside and moving in to explore it. She felt his hands on her hips and then he picked her up against the wall, hips grinding into hers and they were talking without talking. This is what they were good at, fighting and apparently fucking.

Oh yeah, and apparently they could make some bomb ass looking babies.

She hated him.

He hated her.

*******************

He had deep cuts on his abdomen which she’d found when he finally took his tank top off after the second time they fucked. She found herself over the next three days fighting with him, fucking him, or missing him when he was busy. Gaia was ecstatic and he loved on her and it was honestly Aviva’s favorite thing to see and she could watch them for hours on end. 

Him smiling and her smiling. She noticed he was more affectionate in certain ways. When they were completely alone he’d sometimes sit with her and put his arm around her waist but other than that he kept his distance. His appearance started to really upset her. He’d nearly been killed. That’s what the story was anyway. Gisela said it was a job gone wrong that turned into him just looking for trouble. She didn’t know why he’d done it and that’s why she got the permission to send him home. She said she thought he missed her and Gaia and it made Aviva’s heart clutch painfully. Why hadn’t he said that to her? Was he…ashamed of her? Was she not good enough for him? Why did she care?

In all honesty, Aviva didn’t need a man and hadn’t really ever wanted one. She just, for some reason, seemed to now be of the opinion that maybe Judah, whom she’d hated her entire life, wasn’t so bad as a co-parent and whatever they were doing was okay with her. She liked him not fucking others and she was happy she could get everything she wanted from one person, a person she’d known forever, the father of her child, and that he wasn’t bad to look at either. However, he was at risk of dying early and that was what was killing her. How selfish could he be?

Levi and Eren, Erwin and Armin, and Zad definitely noticed all the players in this fight and they were all aware a huge battle was to come. Aviva had become more and more sentimental about Judah and they could all tell. She couldn’t stay as mad for as long and the way she looked at him with Gaia is the same why they’d looked at each other when they were little. But, Judah seemed immune. There was an occasional fond look but he’d become more and more distant despite her obvious concessions. 

They still fought constantly but she wasn’t near as vicious as before. Levi and Armin were surprised that Aviva, who was actually a very sensitive person, was being ignored in that respect by Judah, an equally very sensitive person. He seemed to be oblivious to her and cruel in his detachment.

While the week came to end they’d continued their strange dance and song. Fight, fuck, take care of Gaia, repeat. He was on her about her eating and she was pushy about what he’d done to get sent back home. Levi and Eren found out about his wounds from Nikko and they pressured him to tell them what happened but since he’d already healed completely he pushed them away. He could heal like Baba so what did it matter? 

Levi stressed that for them to have taken three days to heal they were near fatal. He started slipping out of the house more and more, worked at the club, and then he’d come home with fading bruises from fights he’d gone looking for. He was self destruction, the literal definition. She was upset. What if he died? What if he was killed? Then what? How would she tell Gaia and what would she do?

When he slid into bed with her one night, smelling like cigarette smoke and sin she started to get emotional. He took his shirt off, turned over to face her back and his hand gently moved across the sheets under the covers to her back, his fingertips softly moved up and down her spine. She tried to stay quiet but a small sniffle escaped, her breathing ragged, and shoulders tense. 

He blinked and moved closer, “Why are you crying?” She wiped her eyes, “I’m not crying.” He was in uncharted territory, “Did something happen?” She rolled over and looked at him, “You’re cut.” Her finger went to his hip flexor where thin plastic covered gauze, “It’s deep.” He mumbled defensively, his hand pulling hers away from it but not releasing it, “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” 

She felt more tears gather in her eyes, “But, I have to.” He looked so confused by that statement, “What do you mean you have to? Why should you?” She scowled, “Goddamn Judah you’re so fucking dense!” She snatched her hand back and he looked like she’d slapped him, “Me?! What the fuck is wrong with you!? You’ve been acting strange since I got back!” He hissed, his anger rising. Gaia started to fuss in her crib and Aviva ripped the covers back and off of her, “I’m the same as always Judah!” 

She said a little too loudly and he turned around stepping off the bed, “No, you’re not. It’s like you’ve become an even more confusing bitch. I can deal with it normally but stop trying to control me and what I do. I don’t need you to mother me or be worried about me!” He was yelling, Gaia cried as Aviva bounced her and tried to get her to calm down. “So what happens if you get in a fight and die? What will I tell Gaia?!”

He lurched forward, he’d never get killed in a fight like some street punk, “I won’t! And who knows, maybe she’s better off without a dad like me?!” 

“How could you say that!?” 

“Because it’s true! I don’t fucking understand you, Aviva! If you want something then you have to fucking tell me! I’m not a mind reader. You can’t be cool and then warm, that’s not what we do.” 

She was crying and so was Gaia, “Fuck you! How can you not get it!?” 

The door slammed open and it was Levi, face full of rage, eyes burning, his voice was low and scathing, it hit them like a whip, cutting through the tension in the room, they became scared children at the sight of him and they were thoroughly shamed by what he said, _**”You will not fight in front of your child! You know better and I will not let you fight in front of that baby. I don’t know when you’re going to get it but you better get it RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. I didn’t raise you like this and you never saw any of us do this bullshit in front of you when you were growing up so do just that, grow the fuck up and start acting like parents! Give her to me, work this out. I’m tired of this shit and I will not tolerate it anymore, twenty two years is enough. You two have one chance and that’s it, you’ll be out and I’ll fight for custody if I have to don’t fucking think I won’t. I grew up with this shit, she will not! She will not grow up around fighting and yelling and feel that helpless feeling. She knows when you’re fighting, she can feel it. I know you two love her, so stop fucking hurting her!”**_

He walked over and took Gaia from Aviva. Aviva’s legs felt like jelly and she was so ashamed and frightened. He stopped to look at Judah, “She’s right, though. How fucking stupid can you be? You’re the father of her child, you’re who _she_ had a child _with_ , you think if she really hated you and didn’t care for you that should would have chosen you to lock herself in with for the rest of her life? You think she doesn’t care that you’re getting hurt? That she didn’t spend all this time you were away afraid you’d not come back? She has made you a priority in her life and she goes above and beyond what a co-parent has to and you know that, you just don’t want to admit it.” 

Eren was at the door when they looked over, he looked just as disappointed, “And just to put it out there, for two people who despise each other as much as you two act like you do, you sure fuck a lot. Maybe you two should think about that. We’re all adults here. Remember, hate and love are two horns on the same goat.” 

Eren looked really disappointed and Judah felt himself fill with shame. Levi left taking Gaia down the hallway, “Be glad that this is all that happened. Your Aba doesn’t talk about his childhood for a reason. You put him constantly on edge when you two fight but tonight you sent him back to a place he never wanted to go back to and I’m furious. This isn’t normal parent guilting, this is me telling you as an adult to another adult that your actions have really hurt him and I’m fucking livid and if you weren’t our children I’d kick your fucking ass for hurting him like that. Fix this, go somewhere, in fact, yeah, fucking leave and go away just you two and work this out without Gaia around, without her to use as a crutch. This is it, it ends here. Don’t fuck with us or think that your Vati and Daddy haven’t been listening the entire time either. There are no secrets in this house.”

Erwin and Armin were actually in the hallway and just as angry as Levi. They waited for Eren to come out into the hallway and shut the door. Armin nodded and they went to their room with Eren returning to his own to check on Levi. 

Levi was crying, Gaia in his arms while he fed her. He wiped his face and inhaled sharply, “I had to change her,” he laughed shakily, “did you know we still have diapers hidden around here, ahuvi?” Eren sat down on the chaise with him, “I’m sorry, neshama. I’m so sorry.” Levi started to really cry, “It just…it just…how could they?” 

Eren caressed his face lovingly, “I know, Levi. I know. But, I think that this is what it’s going to take to get them to stop and find some sort of compromise or peace.” He kissed him shortly, “Take her, I don’t want to get tears all over her.” Eren took Gaia and kissed him again, “I love you, I love you, I love you,” Levi nodded, “Yeah, I know…” 

*****************

Judah put her bags and his own in the back of his car the next day. It was early afternoon and he looked at Aviva as she fed Gaia through the window. She was going to let them do formula while she was away but she wanted to feed her one last time before they left. He closed the back and walked back inside. He was still full of shame and self hate as he went looking for his Aba. 

Erwin had suggested that he go to Gatlinburg. Apparently, that’s where they all went when they had to fix things and they all had fond memories of vacations there. Armin had given him a slap about yelling such hateful things at Aviva but had also told him that he loved him, they all did, they just wanted them to find some peace. Daddy was disgusted with him and always had been.

Baba had done similar, a slap, a lecture, and then some love. But, Aba? What would Aba do? He found him working in his office but not as efficient as normal, “Aba, I’m so sorry.” He really was, “I wish there was another word that meant something more than sorry because I’m that.”

Levi nodded, “Never, never ever, do that again.” Judah started to cry, “I’m sorry, please.” Levi put his pen down, “What? You think I’ve stopped loving you? Don’t be ridiculous but do get your house in order. I was serious. Why would you…..have you seen Aviva by any chance? You literally cannot do better look wise, she’s smart, she’s talented, accomplished, she gets stellar reviews at the university and that’s not just because she’s Erwin’s daughter but she can take students who’ve never danced and make them competitors. Her dance groups win gold, she has only been teaching for a semester and they’re offering her tenure and more money and that’s the independent board, the hard ones, not the soft ones. She is a damn good mother, she loves her daughter beyond words, and she’s independent. She’s never talked about marriage or any of that and for her to do what she does with you and for you not to get that she’s invested beyond just Gaia and the fact you’ve grown up together is stupid, willfully stupid. Get your shit together.”

Judah stared, “Like always, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Levi stared and it was a contest of like father like son with disgruntled displeased looks and scowls, “Get your shit together, Judah or I’ll spank you.” Judah snorted, “Okay, that’s more like it.” He started to pull his pants down smirking cheekily and Levi threw something at him from the desk, “Hey!”Judah exclaimed, “Don’t break your pretties, old man.” 

Levi smirked, “It’s just some damn knick-knack your Baba put on my desk.” “Then why throw it?” “I hate it.” “ABA! BABA WOULD CRY! How could you says such, he loves you, he’s obsessed with you!” Levi stood up grabbing Judah and they wrestled to the floor, chokeholds, pressure points, Levi had him pinned, “I’m serious, stop being such a brat and get real with her. Get really real, I see that in you, that kindness, you’re too much like me. I’m sorry you’ve been so cursed.” Judah elbowed him and broke away, “Whatever, at least she smells good. I’ve never complained about her hygiene.” Levi smirked and huffed, “Actually, that’s true. I’ve never heard you complain about that. Gisela was on Zev for a long time.” 

Judah stood up and Levi had a strange thought, “When they get back, would you and Gisela ever live together with let’s say Zev and Aviva, by yourselves?” Judah paused, “I…I want to live with Gisela so I suppose the answer is yes. We know how to do it, we’ve seen it done all our lives. But, don’t ask such weird things, Aba. That’s what Baba does.”

***************

She sat in the car and her eyes were wet. They started off onto the highway and he started to get nervous. They’d never really been alone, just that time in Russia and Alexi and Lilly were there. “Are…are you crying because you’re alone…with me?” She wiped her face, “No, I miss Gaia. I do this every time I have to leave her.” He sighed, relieved, “Oh HaShem…I thought you were just so,” 

“Distraught over being with you that I’d cry? Don’t fucking lie to yourself or give yourself that much credit. Pleeeaaasee.” 

She smiled a little and relaxed, “I really meant what I said. I need you to tell me exactly what you’re thinking. I don’t….I don’t think I understand you.” She became uncomfortable, “Well, um, you’re a really good father and you love Gaia so much that I would never want you to not have her in your life. She blossoms around you. Really, it makes me jealous because she just comes alive around you. Little girls and their fathers.” She shrugged, “I mean, I’m lucky because I have two. ACTUALLY, I have four. Wow.”

“But, Judah, I can’t stand thinking that something could happen to you, like you could be killed and you think I’m so fucking stupid but I know a lethal wound when I see it. We’ve grown up in a medically oriented house. Those wounds freaked me out more than you know because I really started to think about what she would feel like if you were gone and how…what would I feel like. I would be…sad…well…there isn’t even really a word for it.” 

He kept driving, “I don’t hate you, you know that. Right?” She looked shocked, “No…I mean…I wasn’t sure.” He wanted to throw up, “Bitch, I don’t fucking hate you!” She snorted, “Wow, what a way to say it. I’m convinced.” He didn’t like that and she pulled her blanket out to wrap up in. She looked over at him, “Thank you.”

******************

She walked inside of the [chalet](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/f8/ab/f7/f8abf791fc706e0abc629076801be308.jpg) and noticed it was really cozy and personal. They’d never stayed here before and when he brought their things inside she turned around, “Loser, where did you find this place?” He gave her an annoyed look, “Online, daddy sent the link when I asked for suggestions.” She looked at the [kitchen](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/f8/ab/f7/f8abf791fc706e0abc629076801be308.jpg) and then back at him, “Will we be cooking?” 

He gave her an unemotional flat look, “Will we be eating? Then yes.” She wanted to stab him with her high heel. She went to the [bedroom](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/3e/2b/04/3e2b04a0d5ab96573a29e911e9c433e3.jpg) and looked around, “Only one bedroom?” He followed her, “Yep.” She gave him a surprised look, “You want to sleep with me? Without Gaia?” He kept her gaze, “Yep.”

She turned to him and faced him more squally, “Why?” He was stone cold, “Because, I want to sleep near you, with you, and be there if you need something.” He pushed off the doorframe, “What’s the bathroom like?” He went [inside](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/23/ce/45/23ce455b683df127e6033209f2be70e5.jpg) and she followed, “It’s fucking filthy.” He ran his finger on the counter and she snorted, “Aba, I didn’t know you had come on the trip with us?” 

Judah smirked, “Sorry that I don’t want us to get sick or dirty.” She stared at him, “We need to go to the store and stock up for the weekend.” “The week.” “The….what!?” “A week, we’re going to be here a full week.” She stared at him, mouth open in shock, “No! GAIA!” He frowned, “I know. But…we need to be here. Aba wants us to stay a week.” She turned to leave and he saw her opening her bag.

He came up to her, “Let me guess, something fucking pink.” She looked at him and smirked, “Actually, I had a surprise for you since we’re trying this whole nice thing and getting along.” He snorted, “Just wear what you’ve got [on](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/c7/3c/fe/c73cfed1cd8e1e0340b879a515365a06.jpg).” He wasn’t going to admit he liked it as much as he did and she tilted her head to the side, “I think you love pink.” He made a face like, “Ick,” “No, it’s….you’ve killed it for me.” 

He finished mumbling and she looked over at his bag before digging in hers, “What’s in that bag?” He hummed, “Surprises…” She stopped searching and looked up, “Shit from the club?” He shrugged, “We’re not so good at talking,” he whispered, leaning forward, his eyes narrowing, “so what could it hurt? Are you opposed?” He couldn’t see her face through her veil of hair. She shrugged, “No, I don’t think you can handle me, though.” She looked at him and her eyes promised danger.

He smirked, “I’ll break you.” She smiled wickedly, “It’s funny that you believe that. I want nothing more than to dominate you. Up until now, it’s been child’s play.” He snorted, “Whatever, you’re mouth runs away with you. You’ll show me nothing but whore’s tricks.” “Go outside so I can change.” He paused until she looked at him, cheeks slightly pink. He left and waited for her to go to the store. 

When [she](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/f7/4e/01/f74e0118a5fb66595e600f3fa327e33a.jpg) walked out he nearly choked, “Is that what you’re wearing to the mother fucking Kroger?” She blinked, “I figured we’d get dinner after bringing the groceries back. I want to go out.” He got up and grabbed his keys, “High maintenance bitch.” She smirked.

*******************

He was pushing the cart in the Kroger and groaning internally as she walked in front of him. She’d left her coat in the car and her tight ass in that tight dress should be illegal. She was grabbing shit and putting it in the cart and he didn’t give a fuck. All he needed was easy mac and beer to be honest. _Speaking of beer_ , he reached over and grabbed two cases of beer and she turned around with sneer, “You really need to cut back on the drinking. You reek of alcohol and cigarettes and that’s not good to expose Gaia to.” He merely gave her the same stare he had inherited from his Aba, “Are you done?” She stopped walking, pouted and he pushed the cart pass her. 

She was getting a lot of attention and he didn’t mind. So what if others looked? As long as they didn’t touch he didn’t give a fuck. Yeah, let them envy and curse him. She was more of a curse than a blessing. He was just saving some other poor man’s soul. Her phone went off and she immediately picked up, “Hey,” she paused suddenly and he knew that whoever it was wasn’t who she’d expected, “Uh, well,” her voice went up about two octaves and sounded sugary sweet, _kind of cute and flirty. Who the fuck is she conning right now? It has to be fake…right?_ “I’m out of town so we’d have to rain check.” She let loose a series of giggles and he rolled his eyes internally and started to pay. The cashier was distracted, kept looking at her and her curves. He took his card back and the guy put his head down ashamed at his pointed gawking.

She stayed on the phone till they got back and in his opinion she’d earned a punishment. He took the phone from her and hung it up. She looked at him surprised and then she bared her fangs for him, “Asshole!” He blinked, “You’ve earned a punishment from the bag.” She stopped short of a reply, “Is it really a punishment if I want it?” He cocked his head to the side, “You’re so fucking cocky it hurts.” She laughed harshly, “Cocky is confidence so I see no problem in that.” He smirked and she followed him into the bedroom. He opened the bag and removed a black egg, “I plan on annoying you as bad as you’ve annoyed me since that insufferable phone call began at Kroger.” 

**************

She squirmed slightly but other than that she was really taking it well. He had made reservations at a nice restaurant and had changed after laying her across his lap and inserting the egg, spanking her for moving too much. Turns out she really liked spanking and he was glad he’d remembered. She got out when the valet opened the door and he was waiting for her with the door open, remote in his pocket and ready to go. She stood close to him and allowed himself to indulge a bit and put his arm around her waist. She leaned into him and she fit perfectly against him. He had requested a booth that was secluded by the window so they could see the year round holiday lights.

She sat next to [him](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ea/94/d5/ea94d553ef3a96f03e34ea8e853fc30d.jpg) and he kept his arm around her as they read the menu. She wasn’t speaking much and that was fine with him. She seemed more relaxed and he felt like he was too. He decided to torture her when they had to order and turned the remote up, surprising her and making her flush a bit. The waiter took their order and she groaned hitting him under the table. “Why did you wear red?” 

She took a sip of her wine and turned to him, “Because it’s close to pink.” He snorted, “Okay.” “And red is your favorite color.” He paused, “So, tell me why my name is on your hand.” She looked down at the side of her hand where her Vati also had tattoos, “I lost a bet with Alexi and he got to tattoo something on me. I’ve been wanting to do another one with Gisela but she’s not been here long enough.” She was really sad about that and he stroked her hair out of her face, “She misses you so much.” 

That earned him a soft smile, “So, basically I just had one of your letters with your signature and it’s a really neat signature so, he tattooed it on me.” “You have the name of your baby’s daddy on your hand and you hate me.” “I don’t hate you at all. Shut up.” He pulled her closer, his lips went to her neck, _what were they doing?_ “Judah,” her voice was breathy, “stop.” He kept on, “No,” he breathed against her neck as he bit the flesh softly. She turned her head and their lips found each other. She sucked his bottom lip, bit it and he played with the remote, drinking in her noises and the tremors of her body.

They ate and she squirmed more after desert. She clutched onto him while they waited for the car, his arms around her, her face buried in the crook of his neck. He watched the people walk by on the streets, felt the bitter cold on his face, smelled her perfume, smelled her, and he felt for once, dare he say it, at peace. He was always at peace when he was torturing Aviva and around her he knew his place, knew their rapport, how they worked. He kissed the side of her head, hand moving down to grip her ass. She gasped as he moved against her. Then the car was there and he moved to put her in it.

He had her moaning and groaning in the car, turned it up higher and she held his hand, squeezing it tightly and he drove one handed, leaned back in the seat, on the outside from her perspective he was unmoved and she hated him for it. When they got to the chalet he carried her inside and laid her on the floor, moved the table and let her roll on her back on the rug. He stood over her, “How you holding up?” She cast him a defiant look, “Never better.” Her legs trembled and he appraised her, “then let me turn it up.” She jerked and he could feel how tight his pants were getting as he hardened. She was sinful to watch like this.

Her phone started to go off and he walked over to her bag. “N-n-no! Don’t answer my phone!” He paused and looked at the screen, “It’s Baba.” She moaned and he swiped the screen to answer, “Hey! Judah, my sweet handsome glorious son. I have someone who wants to say hi!” He held Gaia up and Judah smiled, Aviva was on the floor too weak to move, “I want to see my baby.” Judah put the phone to the side, turned to look over his shoulder, “I don’t think you’re in any state for her to see you in.” 

Aviva bit her lip, fire in her eyes as he returned to the phone and Eren told him all about her day and what they had done. She could hear and then Judah told Eren they’d made it and everything was fine. Eren paused, “Where is Aviva?” Judah kept a straight face, “She’s disposed.” Eren jerked, smirked and turned his head to the side, “Oh..well, I hope you’re working things out and not just fucking.” Judah didn’t react and he could hear Levi snort in the background, “They’re filthy disgusting brats.” 

Eren looked at him past the laptop and put Gaia up on his shoulder patting her back, “What did you expect,” he started to mumble, “She’s female Armin and he’s you. You and Armin are like that. Plus, he’s always secretly been in love with Armin. I wonder if they're lovers like you two are?” Judah’s face flushed, “BABA!” 

Eren looked back at the laptop, “Oh, you act like you’re so grown but you can’t handle a comment like that. News flash, you may have come from a synthetic womb but we all fucked enough to make up for it.” “BABA I AM HANGING UP!” Levi’s diabolic laughter filled the room and Judah turned it off. Aviva was still on the rug and when he walked over she was clutching the rug. He fell to his knees and she gave him another defiant look.

His hand went up her dress to feel her panties, “Shit, they’re soaking wet. You’re such a dirty bitch.” 

She managed to lean up, groaning at the new position, took his face between her hands and they stared into each other’s eyes for a long moment, “Fuck me, Judah.” She smoothed his hair back and he caught sight of his name on her hand. He ripped her panties down her legs, pulled her dress over her head and looked at her before him, body flushed and quivering. He undid his pants and he didn’t waste time slamming into her and fucking her on the rug. She was so loud it turned him on more and though it wasn’t long and loving, it was a good start to their week. 

*****************

She woke up in his arms in the bed and thought about what a change that was. He’d pulled her close sometimes throughout the night but he seemed to realize this and push her away like she burned him. He was awake and breathed her scent in. “Mmm,” he hummed and her heart fluttered. His phone began to ring and he rolled over checking it and then he got up to take it. 

A string of Yiddish and she assumed it was to Gisela he was speaking. She checked her phone and saw a barrage of texts from Zev and… _Are you serious?_ She opened the texts and blushed, cringing internally. She didn’t know what was going on and this was pretty incriminating but also she needed it to make a point when she got back.

She answered Zev and face timed him. He looked sunburned, “Are you burned?!” He grimaced and then went, “SHUSHHHH VATI WILL HEAR YOU!” She giggled, “I’m in Gatlinburg. He’s not here.” Zev gave her a curious look and then back to the same old goofy self, “He’ll sense it. He probably already senses it.” He paused, “You and Judah…” he smirked and she covered her lower face with a pillow, “You’re such a dork.” 

“I’ve always wanted you and Judah together.” “Shut, the, fuck, up. We’re not…” Zev started to cackle, “I don’t know what else you’d call it.” 

“He might fuck someone else or be fucking someone else.” 

Zev got serious, “Did you agree on not?” She nodded, “Well, me. He wanted me to not…” 

“Well, I don’t think he’s going to sleep with someone else but you might need to make sure that that is set in stone for both of you.” 

She pulled the pillow higher and Zev stuck his tongue out at her. “You and Gisela? How is it?” He sighed dramatically, small smirk playing at the corner of his lip, “She _hates_ me! She’s cruel to me. She ignores me. She despises me.” 

“You love it.” 

“I love it! I’ve never been happier.” 

She started to laugh and Gisela appeared, “I’m not too mean…only when he wants it you know?” She stretched smiling, “Oh, I know.” Gisela blew her a kiss and she blew her one back, “I can’t wait to see you.” Aviva smiled, “I can’t wait for Gaia to see you and Zev.” Zev started to beam, “I will love on her till she cries!” Gisela giggled when Judah came in and turned the phone off.

“Get up, we’re going to the Pancake Pantry.” Aviva rolled over and looked up at him, “Really?” He smirked, “Where else would we go to eat?” She smiled and rolled off the bed, “I love the Pancake Pantry!” She stopped short of the bathroom, “But, that’s a lot of calories…” He pushed her into the bathroom, hands on her hips, “Stop thinking about the calories. Brush your teeth, filthy bitch.” She wanted to argue with him but instead she tried something else, “Okay. You’re right.” He gawked as she turned to start brushing her teeth.

He slowly joined her and then she pulled her hair up on top of her head and jumped in the shower, he watched her through the clear glass as he spat and then washed his face. She jumped out, toweled off while he watched, carefully, her morning routine. She applied deodorant, started to apply her make up and he leaned against the wall watching, “Gisela and you…don’t need makeup.” She snorted, “But, we like makeup. I like it a lot.” 

“Why?” 

“Because, I can make myself into anything! I can be classic, dramatic, I can be whatever I feel like being and I think it’s so pretty.” 

He made a small humpf noise, “But, do you think it's just hiding yourself?” She paused, foundation on, simple contour that took no time, and a small amount of pink blush on. She started to set it with powder, “I think I wear it sometimes as a mask so yeah.” “Why would you want to wear a mask?” “Because I’m critical of myself. I don’t think I’m ever really good enough. I think my dancing could always be better and I think my looks could be better too.”

He stared, “I think I understand.” He paused awkwardly, “Thanks.” It was mumbled, barely over a whisper and she paused again, finishing applying a cute shade of pale pink to her lids and finishing her cat eye. “But, this look,” she motioned around her face with her mascara, “this is me. This is the Aviva face. This isn’t a mask.” 

He watched her do her lashes and admired how fluffy and doll like they were, “How…your lashes always look like they belong to a china doll.” She blushed a bit, “Maybe she’s born with it.” She whipped her head towards him, “You can thank Vati and Daddy for my lashes.” He snorted, “Who do I thank for your annoying personality?” She smirked, “You.”

She let her hair down and sprayed some dry shampoo in it, “I’m just gunna put it in a ponytail.” She did and it was messy and fun. He liked her bangs and how they fell around her eyes, framed her face. She looked at him, “I’m gunna wear…uhhh,” he kept watching her and then she seemed to get shy, “I guess something sporty.” 

He walked into the bedroom to dress as well. She turned around, “I’m wearing black.” [She](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/95/a3/91/95a39192ceec97e2c16e9305d764099c.jpg) proclaimed and he stared, he really liked what he saw and it was so low key, not like her normal look, “Wow…happy fucking day. Looks good on you.” She smiled, “That’s interesting.” [He](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/04/ac/a8/04aca80ba4c70120b7848fe1c94c15a9.jpg) scowled, “Shut up.” 

“You look decent sort of.” 

“Fuck you, Aviva.” ******************* 

They waited in line and he went and got her coffee. He. stood behind her holding her to him, wrapped in his arms. She liked it and drank her coffee sometimes sharing it with him. She felt like trying to be affectionate would be best since he was obviously being affectionate with her. When they got inside he sat across from her and they ordered, “Are you…should we talk?” He sipped his coffee, “Yeah, I guess.” 

She narrowed her eyes, “Well, that doesn’t sound like you want to. You know, I’m just trying to make this work.” She leaned back and he looked bored, “That little girl over there reminded me of Gaia.” He seemed sad, “Why are you here?” He looked at her, “No, that’s a conversation for the chalet. Anything but that.” 

She didn’t know how to react, “Are you seeing other people?” He looked truly confused, “What?” She took in a deep breath, “Are you sleeping with other people?” He brooded, that was the only word for it really, “No. I’m not.” She nodded and their food arrived. He started to eat and then, “Are you?” She put her fork down, “No.” He shrugged, “Just asking.” 

“You’re an asshole.” 

“I know.” 

They continued their meal after that in a relatively positive mood.

*******************

The ski lift creaked and she buried her face in his chest as he pulled her closer chuckling darkly, “Yes, your fear sustains me.” She hit him playfully, “Remember how no one ever wanted to get stuck riding this thing with Aba or Vati?” He chuckled more, “Yeah, Gisela and I always rode together and Aba wasn’t really preferred but Baba was so into it and scary.” 

She giggled, “Vati would have let me and Zev ride with Daddy but Yoni and Tuvia were always somehow already with him and Nikko and Ezra were with Baba and well, poor Nikko.” He laughed and laid his head on top of hers, “I remember when we were old enough to not have an adult and Gisela wanted to ride with Zev.” 

“And you would fucking cry and make it difficult for me because I WANTED to ride with her and or Zev and somehow,” 

“We’d end up in trouble or having to ride with someone else or worse,” 

“Together. Ugh.” 

*******************

She was sitting between his legs while he attacked her neck, marking her. His hands cupped and massaged her breasts roughly while her breath hitched and she leaned back on him. He pushed her forward, urged her to move on her elbows and knees on the couch. He was behind her, his chest on her back and then he sat back on his haunches and he massaged her tight ass, eyes full of fire, pupils blown in arousal. She leaned down, ass up, to put her elbows under her chin.

He pulled her pants down, looked at her sex from behind, lips inside of sheer lace panties, he wanted to die he desired her so bad. He’d become lost in her, he was on fire for her, sometimes he’d just shudder at the thought of her. How could she fuck him so good? How could she be so perfect in everyway like this? How could he want her when all he’d ever done is dislike her? HaShem, have mercy on his soul he wanted to devour Aviva Smith!

He stood up and she sat back up, eyes wide like a doe, “Come on, up.” He reached down and took her into his arms carrying her into the bedroom where he laid her on the bed. She looked at him, “You like lingerie?” he was panting. He nodded and she gave him a sensual look of temptation, “You want to fuck me through my panties?” He nearly came at the thought, “Fuck yes.” 

“Ask me nicely.” 

Judah exhaled severely, he wasn't even going to try and save face or his pride. He fucking needed her, “Baby girl, please let me fuck you through your panties. Pretty please.” Aviva’s face flushed, she’d expected him to hold out or not give in at all. Him giving in at the first request made her even more wet,“Of course, you asked so nicely.” 

Judah sprang forward, his hands on her panties ripping them to the side. She bit him, he growled, he entered her harshly, she moaned, flipping him on his back, she swerved her hips, he shuddered, he bucked into her just right, she closed her eyes in ecstasy, he pulled her hair and she looked like she’d cry.

He sat up, her panties rubbing his cock, rough and coarse. She sat in his lap nicely, their lips tangled in a battle of wills. She was overcome and she moved to grip his shoulders, riding him harder, better. He slapped her ass, really grabbed ahold of it and shook it. She felt like she was burning alive. He was so nasty, so heady, she couldn’t describe the feeling of so right and so wrong. Her hands came to his neck when he tried to overtake her control she had on top and she gave him a warning of a squeeze. 

The reaction, however, was not what she had expected. His pupils widened, his face flushed, jaw went slack, his body was taut like a harp string and he let out a noise that made her drip from arousal. She kissed him, hands still around his neck. When she pulled back she gave him a sweet and innocent look, “Do you like that? Do you like when I choke you?” He nodded and she preceded to choke him to completion. He fucked her so good, he fucked her too well. They thought they fucked too well for it to be right.

They laid next to each other as the sweat dried on their skin and he spoke, “Keep wearing shit like that so we can keep fucking like that.” She felt risky, “Why did you bring toys from the shop? We haven’t used them hardly at all and I’m curious.” “Because I’m not good with words. I think you don’t like talking either. Sex is how we do everything. We sell it, dance it, whatever. We both are over sexed and under fucked.” She laughed shortly, “Agreed.”

*******************

She was looking around in the bathroom when he appeared, “Wear this ribbon…” he was polite and shy. He wouldn’t meet her gaze and she took it in her hands. He disappeared and she put the ribbon in her hair. [She](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/35/46/27/354627736da9c779e3a300453c399f0c.jpg) walked outside to the car and he had it already running so she’d be warm. “What are we doing today, bastard?” He gripped the steering wheel cigarette between his lips, “That’s so bad for you and it’s going to make me stinky.” 

“Well, I’m quitting.” 

“This isn’t how you quit. You know that, right?” 

He had the window cracked and then took a long draw throwing it out the window, “Shot gun it with me.” He whipped his head around looking at her. His face screamed, _what!? _. She turned to him and opened her mouth. He couldn’t not go through with it then.__

He pushed the smoke into her mouth and she took it greedily. He was really surprised and then he thought of something, “You used to smoke, you fucking bitch.” She smiled with the smoke billowing out of her nose, “And I did the right thing and gave it up for my career.” He gave her an unamused look, “Smoking only adds to my business.” 

“But it doesn’t add to your fathering.” 

“I guess that’s all in how you look at it.” 

“Can we get some weed?” 

He was glad they were still parked or he’d have driven off the cliffs that led to their chalet, “Come again? I had a stroke.”

She smiled, “It makes me super paranoid and I can’t drive but you’re driving and I really find it chills me out. I’m not breast feeding this week so I don’t have to worry about anything. I’ll just pump and dump and be better for it.” He appraised the little petite pink dream in front of him, silk ribbon in her hair, “Are you not relaxed?” She snorted, “Judah, I’m never relaxed.” He wasn’t either, he could relate. She then sealed the deal, “Honestly,” she paused and then gave him a very pointed look, “I just want to smoke and fuck.” He grinned ear to ear, smug and amused, “Girl, that’s all that we do.”

He drove them to lunch and got to work on finding premium stuff. She ate carefully and he tried not to be annoyed. He arranged for something else back at the chalet and then he kicked her under the table, “Let’s go ski.” She groaned, “I’m not good at it.” 

“So.” 

“So, let’s just eat cotton candy and say we did.” 

He narrowed his eyes, “But, you actually do like to ski.” She exhaled, “People can change.” 

“Not you, you’re a fucking tour de force and you remain even when all else changes.” 

“I’ll get nasty.” 

“Well,” he raised an eyebrow, “you already are a nasty little bitch so what’s the problem?” 

She kicked him under the table, “Fine, fucker.”

*********************

She leaned against him as they waited for the lift. He kept his hands on her, on her hips and stomach as she text away. She was constantly on the phone and it annoyed him to no end. He figured it was about Gaia so he tried to not say anything but then he noticed some of the glimpses of her screen were large bubbles of text and emoticon kisses. 

He saw a name, “Who’s Troy?” She jumped a bit, “He’s my partner in the company, like he’s the male soloist and I’m the female so we have to work together a lot and coordinate our stuff to meet and practice a lot. He’s not happy that I’m away this week and missing practice.” 

“Fuck him.” Judah fumed, “You can take a vacation once in awhile. You’re fucking constantly with him.” She turned around in his arms, “How do you know I’m constantly with him?” 

“Because you’re never the fuck around to show me my baby girl when I want to see her,” he gave her a cocky sarcastic looks, “ _wegen tanzen._ ” (Because of dancing.) She stood up on her tiptoes to bite his nose and he moved back like he was burned, hissing.

*******************

“This lift was my favorite.” He mumbled and she looked at him, “We didn’t really fight on this one.” He looked at the endless white horizon, “No, we didn’t.”

*******************

He was laughing so loudly, cackling like his Baba, he clutched his side, falling over at the waist, his face was red, nose slightly wind burned, “YOU,” He gasped, tears stinging his eyes, “BITCH!” he doubled over, biting his hand, “HASHEM! PLEASE!” She screeched, “STOP LAUGHING!” He slapped his knees with both hands, a new wave of intense laughter overcame him, “I CAN’T STOP OH MY GOD!” She stood up shakily, “YOU’RE SO MEAN!” He laughed more and she eventually wrestled him into the snow where they laid side by side catching their breaths, “I hated knowing that you and Gisela were a package deal because I want to live with her and you’d be there and I didn’t know how that would work.” 

He thought about it, it caught him off guard, “What?” 

“I always wanted to do things with her and you were stuck to her like glue and I hated it because I couldn’t be stuck to her.” 

He snorted, “I hated you for the same reason.” 

“Have you ever dated someone really?” 

“No, I just fuck people.” 

“I do too. But, I was trying to find someone I’d want to stick to.” 

“You hustle, don’t lie.” 

“Do I?” 

“Fuck, Aviva, I hated you because I wasn’t sure I could out hustle you for Gisela’s attention. I felt like being her twin wasn’t even enough. Whatever you want, Aviva, you get it. You literally will scrap, fight, lie, cheat, whatever you have to do to get what you want and I hated that and I admired that.”

“But, why were you never looking for someone to stick to?” 

“Because they’d try to change me. They’d not understand that I’m obsessed with my sister and we’d never get past it. They’d not agree with our family dynamic more than likely and they’d never understand us. Never understand how we all work. We might fight or have differences but we take care of each other. Keita is…a problem but we deal with it. A-a-and….then there’s me. I’m such a thorn in the side of everyone but they don’t give up on me and I have no idea how and I know that no girl would ever put up with me.” 

She rolled on her side and then to her knees, “I think the same thing.” He pouted, “Bitch.” “I meant about me. I definitely knew that I’d never really find real love like Daddy and Vati but at least I’d marry well and make sure I trapped his ass with my iron clad cunt.”

He burst into laughter, “Are you serious?”

“I am. I’d have sucked many men dry and I’d have a kingdom before me but I knew they’d all see me eventually and hate me. Maybe they’d beat me or turn to the drink? Who knows? A few of the men I sugared for got violent and France was…France was bad. I don’t want to talk about it. At least I had Gisela and then she…got…apparently you helped inform Zev and she got to be with him as a baby. I bet he treated her like a queen.” 

She trailed off and stood up, “Come on homo, let’s go.” He stood up but his soul ached because he hadn’t helped her and he never even thought about what she was having to do when they were in France. He hated himself and for once, he didn’t really hate her.

****************

She sailed by him and he let go of the wall and skated up to her. He took her from behind, “I’m going to need you to maybe put some weight on so that this ass gets even better.” She turned around hissing, “I’m not going to gain weight, I need to lose some.” He slammed their mouths together, violently as they continued to glide on the glass like ice. He pulled back, “Bitch, shut the fuck up and relax.” 

She scowled, “I think you just can’t possibly go one day without making some sort of remark about my eating disorder.” He kept a hold on her as they turned the corner, “Because I don’t want something to happen to you. I want you to think about how bad everyone would feel if you died or got yourself into such a bad place. I want you to feel guilty.” She searched his face, “Why?” “Because maybe that guilt will keep you from ever killing yourself. I’ve seen,...” She slapped him, “Sometimes, your mouth runs away from you and ruins all the potential good you could have done.”

*******************

She was taking her shoes off and they were going to change again for dinner and then they’d head to the chalet, well, after getting their weed. She stepped on the ground and her face was the picture of pain, she groaned, a sharp whine escaped her and she closed her eyes, shut them tightly and a lone tear fell down her cheek, “Your feet?” He said concerned and she nodded, never speaking, and walked into the women’s changing rooms. She was in such pain he could read her entire body posture. He was glad he’d arranged what he had.

****************

At dinner [she](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/50/1f/68/501f68962fd2ef4e3544545618d0b0a2.jpg) sat across from him looking like a dream. He stared at her, mouth watering. She was wearing another [bracelet](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/c5/f2/47/c5f2475b3347e58abc58426efbed5d81.jpg) on her arm, one that Aba gave her for her Bat Mitzvah and he remembered he had something for her. He dug in his jacket pockets and set a few things on the table, “Here. These are for you.” 

She smiled, her eyes lit up, “Really? You spoil me.” Her shit eating grin in stark contrast to his flat emotionless face, “You require this. Don’t pretend to be humble.” She frowned a bit and he threw her a bone, “But, it’s always easy to get you things.” She looked up from her hands, “I do,” she paused, “always look forward to your gifts more than others. They’re more tailored. Like…” she gave him a wicked smile, “if you were a personal shopper of 20 years.” He wanted to spank her.

She opened the first gift and it was a pineapple [necklace](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/8c/a7/32/8ca732fb9f5d712b503cfe321e31a85f.jpg). She loved pineapple and they thought she had an allergy to it when she was little and wouldn’t let her eat it and she’d cry. Turns out she had a graphic tongue which is really rare and the acidity was making her tongue feel differently than others. She now ate it a lot. She squealed at the crown [ring](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a0/85/e8/a085e8fa4fa9d3edfc67531e6ec5542d.jpg) and she knew he often got Gisela jewelry like this. Small and sentimental, “Am I your princess?” He smirked a little, “Yeah.” She then opened a diamond necklace, “It’s a [choker](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/21/0e/3b/210e3b3b3c76c38ffea68bfc8a218530.jpg). It seemed appropriate for you.” “You want to tame me?” He stared, he’d not thought of that but then again maybe he had secretly, “Maybe.” She gave him a defiant look, “Ha, you don’t own this and you don’t tell me what to do.” She put the choker on, “Is this from Tiffanys?” He nodded, “Yeah.” She smiled, “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend.”

******************

Judah stood by the curb when they guy showed up. He handed him a manila envelope and a few notebooks. It just made it look less like a drug deal and more like a returning of school work. The guy looked like a regular business professional and he was older than Judah. 

They exchanged niceties and then he looked at the car, he whistled, “Daaaaamn, she your girl?” Judah’s eye twitched, “Don’t fucking look at her.” The guy scoffed, “Wow, man, you ain’t gotta tell me twice. I’d fight for that too. Have a good day. I don’t want no shit.” Judah nodded, “No shit. Thanks man.” He handed him a box for an IPhone 20 that had a wad of cash inside.

He got in the car and she was pressing on her heel with a coy look, “Did he think I was hot?” He scoffed, “He wondered where I found such a disgusting whore.” She smirked, “He was probably wondering why a beauty like me was with such an ugly punk ass beast like you. Never forget, if you didn’t come from this family you’d be in jail, a repeat offender, and a pimp more than likely.” He turned blood red and he wanted to absolutely rip her head off. He started the car and they headed towards the chalet. “What are you wearing under that dress?” She laughed shortly, “What a topic transition.”

*****************

He opened the doors and there were flowers waiting. She smiled and went to smell them and he told her to change. She took her dress off in the living room, revealing her lingerie. He stood in the door frame, “While I am absolutely enjoying that, someone is on their way for a surprise and you’d be better off in comfortable clothes.” She stared at him, confused. There was a knock at the door and she stood in her lingerie defiantly, “Who is here?!” 

He opened the door and a woman followed him inside with a table, “Hey,” she was jarred by the sight but recovered well, “I’m Melissa and I’m a physical therapist and chiropractor. I’ve been told you need an adjustment and some tender love and care. You’re boyfriend already sent me some of your ailments so we’ll start there.” She looked back and forth between them before sweetly replying, “Thanks, I’ll change. But, he’s not my boyfriend.” The woman smiled, “Oh, husband. Sorry.” Judah felt himself start to blush at the insinuation and Aviva cackled, “That would never happen.” She went in the bedroom and returned [changed](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/af/56/bc/af56bcb0c6c524d6f6394986eabd23b0.jpg), “You gunna just stand and watch?” He opened a beer, “Yep.”

*******************

He watched in fascination. No wonder she’d delivered without any pain medication. She was strong and he was in pain watching how in pain she was. She’d yell out suddenly, bones creaking. She was stretched and she cried when her feet were worked on. She had tears in her eyes the entire time and she was basically tortured but she swore she felt better. He felt horrible but he’d known she needed it. The therapist left them some packs of things and told her a few exercises she didn’t know to help stretch better. She drank her water and then turned to him, “I’d like to smoke now.” 

They laid on the bed, smoking, passing it back and forth. She’d shot gunned him a few times when they got to end of a blunt and he thought it was so hot. She laid her head on his chest and he played with her hair, “I don’t want you to go back.” He kept playing with her hair, “Where?” 

“I don’t want you to go back to Israel. I don’t want you to go away again. I want you to stay here with us.” 

He felt choked up, “Why?” 

“Because I…missed you and I don’t want…I think our family unit should only be maybe a few days apart but no more.” 

He didn’t respond and just let it sink in, “I know that’s selfish. I’m sorry. I tried to never say it on face time or in text but I’m serious. It makes me so sad.”

He didn’t know what to do or say. She moved slightly, “I guess somewhere I started to really fixate that you weren’t here and you were missing things like when she rolled over and when she had her first cold. I just really started to miss you bothering me and you just seemed so…it was all business. I think I fucked it up. They said it’s postpartum and I know that’s part of it but I can’t really not think about you because she looks so much like you to me and sometimes she makes these face and they look like the ones you make when you’re watching a movie you like, when you and Nikko play music when y’all think you’re alone, when you look at Gisela and make a sly joke, she has those faces and I like them because I get to enjoy them. She doesn’t stop making them like you would. She wouldn’t do that. You’d stop doing anything I liked immediately and she doesn’t and I selfishly enjoy it, having your secret faces all to myself.”

She was just opening up and saying all of this to him right now and he was floored because this was not what he expected, “You know, sometimes I go to the club and check on it. I talk to Maxim and Ilya and one night there was this girl and she had really short black hair.” He had an oh shit moment, “Her name was Rachel and she was looking for you. I was at the bar and Maxim groaned while Ilya looked around like he does, you know,” he really did not like this story, “So she’s all bitchy and hits the table top, “yo, where is Judah?” and Maxim goes full gangster, “Why you wanna know?” And she gets all pissed off, “Because I’ve got business.” “He isn’t here.” “Where is he?” “If you were so close as to be comin’ around lookin’ for him then you’d know.” Basically she keeps on till she finds out you’re in the military and she demands they get in touch with you for her.”

He groaned, “She never did.” “She claimed you got her pregnant and then disappeared.” He rolled his eyes internally, “That’s bullshit.” “She was told as much and then they looked over at me and she took notice and suddenly she had beef with me.” He bit the inside of his cheek, “You tell her we had Gaia.” “Oh, she got told. Got her ass handed to her. Fucking kid wasn’t yours.” “There even was one?” “Yeah, almost a toddler. I had that bitch served with a motion for a paternity test and legal papers. Fuckin’ kid even got genome matched in case because of blood issues and didn’t carry the Y mutation. Not even Jewish paternally. She was just lookin’ for a handout.” “You did that while I was gone?” “I don’t fuck with side bitches, Judah.” That made him chuckle, “She only ever was a side bitch, you got it right.” 

She yawned, “Another bowl?” He rubbed her back, “Whatever you want, princess.” 

“Baby girl.” 

“What?” 

“I like when you call me baby girl.” 

He snorted, “Whatever.”

*****************

She moved in his arms, “What are we going to do today?” He kept his eyes closed, nuzzled his nose in her hair, “Absolutely nothing. We’ll just stay in if that’s okay?” She nuzzled against his chest, “I said a lot of shit last night.” He smirked, “You must have been relaxed.” 

“I was.” 

“Ha, I’ll remember that.” 

“Will you tell me stuff now?” 

“You can’t bribe after you’ve given away the information already.” 

She pinched him, “Pretty please?” He stayed silent, “I heard a few men came around after our arrangement.” She tried to wiggle out his arms, “And that’s why you’re moving away. Well, it made me livid.” She gave up, “So, I guess I missed you too.” She opened her eyes, blinking, “What?” 

“I said I hate you.” 

“Oh, yeah, that makes more sense. I thought you had a feeling.”

“The thought of another guy involved with you makes me lose my shit so, I’d suggest you keep your word.” 

“You don’t trust me.” 

“No…not…you don’t trust me.” 

“I guess not completely. But, I know my word means something when it’s said to you.” 

“Does it?” 

“Yeah.” 

He pulled her up close, lips searching for hers and they kissed slightly tenderly for a while till she bit him and he pulled the covers back to spank her, “Bitch.” She laughed, voice high and light, “Fuck you!” He pinned her down, “Let’s use some more things from the bag.” He raised his eyebrow cockily and she rolled her head to the side, “Do you make a lot of money off the sex shop?” His eyes smoldered, “Cash over fist, baby girl.” She smirked, “Good, because I want you to keep on making money.” He rolled off of her and opened the bag starting their day of relaxation.

**********************

He sat behind her with the TV on. She was eating pasta he’d made and wore his shirt. She turned around, “I found the box.” He gave her a trademark Levi look, “And?” 

“And you know what?” 

He prepared himself, “What?” 

“I’m going to use it on you.” 

He let his face slip and she laughed, “Oh yeah, you’re going to be my little kitty.” He scowled and went back to eating his pasta. She was full of shit. He’d have her submitting and that would be the end of it.

**********************

She sucked his cock so good. He whined as she bobbed up and down. She popped off, fingers lubed and at his entrance. He moved against the silk ties on his wrists and legs. She’d somehow managed to wrestle him long enough to tie him down and now the tail from the [box](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/2b/19/db/2b19db88701f13a07a563f668d79ee49.jpg) was seconds away from being inserted, “I think you’ll make a really pretty little kitty. A dirty street cat turned into a pretty princess.” She laughed mockingly and he tried to burn her with his gaze. She inserted a finger and he tightened up, “Bitch.” She smiled, “Don’t thrash, my nails are long and might rip your delicate asshole.” 

“Fuck you.” 

“You want to.” 

She removed her fingers and he watched her as she sucked them slowly. He groaned, “Filthy fucking bitch. You’re so fucking filthy.” She grinned, “You love how filthy I am.” 

“Fuck.” She delved back inside, thrusting till she found his prostate, he jerked nearly out of his skin and she laughed as she assaulted it, “Wow, you’re so weak. You’re like a little doll, I can get whatever response out of you I want.” He tried to bite back his moans, “Shit.” He gritted out, jaw clenched. She pulled her fingers back out and leaned up his body, “Suck.” He looked at her like she’d offended him, “No.” She smirked, “Come on, pretty boy.” He kept his lips sealed as she tried to force her fingers past them.

She pulled them back, “Suit yourself. You taste sugary sweet.” She licked them again and he was disgusted and so turned on by how disgusted he was. She took the tail, “This is a nice plug. I’d have liked to wear it.” She inserted the plug slowly and watched his discomfort. She took the ears and placed them on his head. He sneered, “When I get free I’m going to tear that little ass up.” 

She smirked, very pleased with herself, “Uh uh, I don’t think so.” She crawled off the bed and he looked confused, “I saw this had a remote. A vibrating plug is genius to attach to this tail. I’ll be sure to get revenge for the first night.” She turned the plug up and he seized up from the sensation, small whine escaping. “I’m going to go in the other room, eat some more pasta, watch the real housewives, and maybe put on some lingerie and play with myself.” She clicked her tongue a few times, “Actually, to make this better…” She mumbled as she walked back over to the bag. His face was beet red.

She appeared, cock ring in her hand, “Can’t let you come without permission.” God that turned him on so much because he hated her smug look, her condescending voice, her cute little smirk, the look of her pretty baby pink nails holding that black cock ring made his mouth water, “Wait, is there a vibrating one?” He wanted to scream because there was and she dug around till she found it. She turned the plug off, put the cock ring on him, and then started it and turned the plug back on. He thrashed, his body was not his own anymore as he whimpered and whined and moaned and groaned, his wrists were burning from the silk bands and his body was flushed red. She gave a little giggle, “Have fun, kitty.”

She left the room and shut the door. He felt like he’d finally reached the seventh level of hell.

****************

She returned and he didn’t know how long he’d been left like this. His body was taut, his skin covered in sweat. He looked at her, her [lingerie](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/70/e7/ca/70e7ca95e6be9e2752b78b41b4fb8cff.jpg) was offensive to him. He wanted release so badly and he wanted it to be at her hands. She licked her lips, HaShem he fucking loved her lips. She walked over to him and let her hands skim his body, gently tracing patterns on him that made him moan and groan more, “Pretty kitty still wants to play?” He nodded, “Say please.” He gritted his teeth and she pinched his nipple, “Say pweeaseee.” He gasped, “Please.” She tched, “No, no, I said pweaseee the second time. Now it’s pwetty pwease.” He gave her such a pissed off look and she smiled wickedly, pinching him again, “Pwetty…pwease.” He said muffled as he turned around as a tremor rocked his body./p>

She climbed on the bed and straddled him. He watched her like a hawk as she let her fingers trace the hem of her panties, fingertips dipping beneath the elastic. He bit back a groan as another tremor rocked him from such visual stimulation. She dipped beneath rubbing her sex and moaned breathily keeping her eyes trained on him. He wanted to remember this forever. He’d fucked other girls but she was something else. She knew exactly how to push his buttons. 

_Oh HaShem….I’ve met my match. She’s probably happiest when torturing me. Just like I am with her._ It changed the moment a bit for him and she stood up to take her panties off and he closed his eyes for second, sweat dripping into his eyes and another tremor that surged through his body.

She came back, “Tell me how you feel, Judah.” Her voice should be outlawed, “Tell me what you feel like.” He opened his eyes, she hovered over his cock and she sucked on one of her fingers, eyes wide and doe like. “I feel,” he paused, “fine.” She pouted, “Just fine?” He grit his teeth, “Never better.” “Oh, I guess you’d rather I left.” He wanted to scream, “Doesn’t make a difference to me.” She started to get up and he started to really think about it, “Wait.” She turned to him, “Oh?” 

“I want to come.” 

“I don’t know if you’ve earned it. That wasn’t very nice.” 

“Please, fuck me.” 

“I want more.” 

He inhaled, “What do you want?” 

“Beg.”

“Fuck me, Aviva, please. Fuck me till I pass out. I want you, fuck, shit, HaShem, there are no fucking words for how bad I constantly want to fuck you. Just the look of your lips, the way you move your hips, damn baby you drive me insane, so fucking insane. I love how you do me dirty, how you hurt me, I want you to hurt me and I want you to fuck me. Please, please, please, fuck me baby girl.” She grabbed his cock and lowered herself onto him, sliding up and down slowly, rhythmically, she sighed a bit, breath hitching as she fucked herself and fucked him. 

He squirmed, “I won’t-“ he moaned as she swerved left and right, hips circling, “I-I won’t come with the ring…” She gave him a heady look, “You don’t get to come till I think you deserve to.” She kept fucking him and he felt like this was probably actually his own personal hell. He was enraptured with the entire thing, enjoyed it, but that was the problem, he enjoyed it too much. He could feel her around him, feel her clench him when she got closer and closer. She made the most erotic faces and he couldn’t help but try and commit them to memory. Her lips were all he wanted, to kiss them, bite them, touch them. He loved her lips.

She started to come and he broke, “Please, please, please, please,” he kept on, a string of curses, “You want to come when I come?” He was desperate, “Yes, fuck yes, yes, please, please, please Aviva, don’t come yet, let me come with you, please, please…” He really was on the edge and she knew it. She wanted him there, she wanted to break him. She let herself find release and he was broke, tears in the corner of his eyes, jaw tight. She moved to take the cock ring off and he was disappointed till she let him come in her mouth, sucking around him, hot heat, and her there on her knees and elbows. He went completely limp and she sucked him dry letting his flaccid cock rest on his stomach. 

She turned the plug off, removed it and then untied him. He tried to catch his breath, rubbed his wrists and she started to head to the bathroom, “Get dressed, baby girl.” She stopped looking at him suspiciously, “I thought we weren’t going anywhere today?” He looked at her and sat up slowly, “We are now.” She cocked an eyebrow, “Nice or?” 

“Not nice at all.” 

“Okay.” 

She smiled and he couldn’t help the butterflies that he felt in his heart. She’d broke him, _fuck, I’m pussy whipped for real._

********************

He held [her](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/36/9b/5f/369b5f42569c5840a5b2a3d5e58efa5f.jpg) hand in the car, fingers in his palm and he drug them against his jaw line slowly, caressing. She forgot her jacket, “Aviva, baby, it’s too cold to go out of the car without a jacket.” She looked at him curiously, “Well, I’m grown, I’ll be fine.” 

He handed her his jacket when they got to the parking lot, “Okay, try not to be difficult in here.” They were in front of a tattoo shop and when they walked in they were greeted by the nightshift, “Wow you do look a lot like Levi. I mean, damn, a very young Levi.” Mike was a tattoo artist that had done a few little tattoos for their parents and he shook his hand, “I want a very specific tattoo.” “I’d expect nothing less. And it’s Aviva?”

She smiled and shook his hand, “Damn, you look like Armin. I mean, the first few times I met him I thought he was a girl.” She laughed, “He is a pretty woman.” “Yeah, and you're gorgeous. Glad you two are…together.” She became uncomfortable and he took her face in his hand, “See her lips?” She looked at Judah but his grip was iron and Mike nodded, “Nice lips. Really nice.” He put his hand down, “I want those on my body.” 

She blushed, “What?!” “I said, I want your lips on me.” Mike started to sketch them and he stared, “I like it, I’ll need to take a picture, you want it life size?” “Yeah, I want them to be almost a perfect match.” 

“Can do. Anything else?” 

“Put a diamond between them.” 

“Color or?” 

“Baby doll pink.” 

“Where?” 

“Inside of my arm, down just below the crease of the elbow.” 

“May I take some measurements, ma’am?” 

She stared at him, “I guess so.”

*******************

He looked at the tattoo, “Mega geil.” He turned to her and she snorted, “Doch.” He’d been speaking with her more and more in German, Yiddish was still his everyday tongue but she appreciated it. Still, russian was her preferred tongue. He gave her a look that spoke volumes and she walked over to him. He wrapped his arms around her kissing her, “And now, food.” 

She smiled, “Noooooooo I’m not,” he kissed her, “Food and then we can watch youtube videos or read in bed.” She smiled fully, “I love those things!” She hopped up and down and Mike laughed, “Hmmm it’s like fathers like children.” They left and got McDonalds on the way back to the chalet.

**********

“Ummm,” she appeared at the door of the bathroom while he was brushing his teeth, “What?” She handed him a ring box, “I saw it and got it for you. I forgot about it till now.” He opened it up and looked at the [ring](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/0f/29/9d/0f299d5891d28fa90e3f8430289c73ee.jpg), “Cool.” He put it on and looked at it, “Bad ass, actually.” She went back and climbed into bed. He followed her, moving under cover to wrap her up in his arms, “Thanks.” 

He kissed her shoulders and bit lightly, humming as she pushed into him, “I kind of want to smoke since we’ve got fast food.” She turned around and he looked at her, “Fuck I forgot about our food and weed. I’m starving, too. Shit.” She laughed and hit him, “Pwease bring me my food and some weed?” He rolled his eyes, “Lazy bitch.” 

“Thank yous!” 

He came back in with their food and weed. He stopped at his bag and pulled something out and tossed it at her, “JUDAH YES!” He smirked, “Keep it down, loud ass bitch. You’ll wake the people in the other chalet.” She hugged the [bat](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/2f/33/1a/2f331ac4b24c17674214cf8031b56f8b.jpg) stuffed animal to her chest, “I LOVE THIS!” He shook his head, “Little freak.” “You love bats, too.” “I’ve never said that.” He did, but he was surprised she knew that. “Really? You love the Nightmare Before Christmas.” 

“I did find it amusing that all the other peons answered that their favorite animals were dogs, cats, horses and you loudly proclaimed bats.” She moved across the bed to him, on her knees and wrapped her arms around his neck leaning up to kiss him repeatedly on the mouth, “Bats are cuddly little love muffins.” “Whatever.” He kept kissing her when he’d normally have pulled away and she soaked it all in.

*****************

She sat nestled in his side on the couch, she was reading on her phone, a book on the history of ballet, “I’m going to put Gaia in ballet at three but I think maybe at two she should start tap or something else.” He sighed, “What if she doesn’t want to dance?” She lowered the phone and looked up at him. He had his arm around her shoulders, resting on the top of the couch as a pretense he wasn’t really holding her or cuddling her in anyway, “Judah, don’t say that.” 

He stared at her blankly, “But if she doesn’t you’re not going to make her or guilt her, right?” She pouted, “You know, you hurt my heart, you hurt me, implying that I would guilt my child or make her do something she didn’t want to. Why would you think that? I just want the best for her, I’m obsessed with her!” Judah rolled his eyes, “OHHHHH NOOOOO!” She covered her mouth and he pulled her closer, “Aba, Baba, they just came out of your mouth, so shush, shush your pretty little mouth.”

He kissed her and she kissed him back. He played with her hair, she laid her head on his chest and kept reading. They were watching the news and he had called the physical therapist back. Aviva didn’t know and she put her phone down, resting her eyes as he watched the way the world was shifting and merging. 

She heard the door, “Did you call her back?” He grunted and she took it as a yes. When he got up she laid down on the couch and looked at him. Melissa was all smiles, “I’m baaaaack!” Aviva gave her a small smile, “I’m glad but I’m not.” She laughed loudly, “Yeah, ballerinas are my hardest customers.”

*******************

She walked into the bedroom, stretched and sore. He was checking his account and the business earnings since the weekend was technically over. His [shirt](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/5e/01/b8/5e01b82c98f05ae416a1290e55bdccb1.jpg) made her stop, “Nice shirt.” She gave him an impressed look and he gave her a side glance and then put the computer down, “Did you put it on for a reason?” 

He smirked, “Yeah, so come over here and sit on my face.” She felt her cheeks flush and she took a small step back, “Really?” He swung his legs on the bed and patted his lap, “Really, baby girl. Come and let me taste you.” She walked over cautiously and he laid down. “Have you ever squirted?” She gave him a snort, “Nope. I never will either.” He gave her a devious look, “You’ve never sat on my face.”

*****************

She had been embarrassed when he was proven right. He had made her come so hard she’d nearly blacked out. Her come all over him and he was so smug about it. He licked his lips, wiped her from his face and sucked her off his fingers, “I wish I’d have put money on that.” She hit him, face beet red, “Such a nasty bitch and this is what has embarrassed you. I love it, making a girl come like that.” She gave him a fierce look, “Well, glad I’m just one in a series.” She regretted it the second she said it. It was too much pressure and she stood up and went into the bathroom to shower.

She washed her hair, started to wash her body and then he came inside, washed his face in the spray and she watched him carefully, “How many tattoos do you have now?” He hummed, “A lot. You have a few yourself.” She smiled a little, “But not like yours.” He shampooed his hair, looking her up and down, “[Heart](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/35/62/2c/35622cd471493bada8c465b74e5fd020.jpg) on your ass.” “It matches Gisela’s.” “Yeah, looks better on her.” She hit him, “You’ve got _Krasivaya_ in white ink on your collar bone here.” He touched it lightly, “And you’ve got a [hamsa](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/b4/81/1e/b4811e771a48e7ebcebe3dfcc02dc31f.jpg) in white on your side, right by your breast. Really smart, white ink looks good on you. Looks like a tiny scar, that’s what you are.” 

He kissed her slowly, pulled her bottom lip and she pulled back and stepped out of the shower. When he got out she was brushing her hair, [changed](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/2b/67/a0/2b67a07040b38b9169401bc317c5f055.jpg), and her feet in kitten [socks](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/c2/18/12/c21812240cb66fdd12310dc0149f759d.jpg).

”Tell me about yours.” She moved towards him, took the towel and started to dry him, shoulders and hair first. “The [snakes](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ad/7f/f3/ad7ff36ba281af099b7b6b663f903a26.jpg) I got with Nikko. He has a white one.” She leaned closer and he continued, “Then I have the [No Face](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/82/d7/d4/82d7d4c4aa79069afa9dad0ec17a446b.jpg) that matches Gisela’s. Then the [Star of David](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/aa/7d/4f/aa7d4f2e6c53ece2509edc3437e8d3e4.jpg) on my elbow. I’ve got your lips right here, I'm going to make this entire arm one giant piece one day by linking everything, and my [lion](l) on my shoulder that you like to suck on and kiss when we fuck.” She leaned up and kissed him, “It’s just the side I seem to be on most of the time, nothing to do with the tattoo.” He nicked his head up, humming, “Mm yeah?” She grinned, “Yeah.” 

************************

He watched her dance and felt himself get lost, his phone vibrated in his pocket, Gisela, “Hello?” “Judah, I have a bad feeling.” She sounded out of breath, “I was sleeping and then I saw something and it didn’t make sense but we’re going to come home soon.” He heard the shifting of bed springs and he knew she’d been deeply asleep and this must have jarred her. “What did you see, ya hibibit? (my darling)” She took a deep breath, “Mud, leaves, I was on the ground, the trees were like in Maria, it was painful to move and I kept trying but it was…so painful I can’t even describe it I’ve never felt that kind of extreme pain it was like I was dying and I was so upset, distraught.” He could feel it, she sometimes had feelings he could feel and he felt them now that she was focusing on them so intensely.

He gasped, “Come home. Come home and don’t leave my sight.” She hummed, “You don’t have to worry. I don’t think you’d let me out of it.” He smirked, “No, I love you. Come home to me, ya habibit. Ich vermisse dich so sehr, du wirst mich nie glauben.” (I miss you so much, you’d never believe me.) He could feel her smile, „Ich auch.“ (Me too.) 

She danced over and took a drink of his beer, “Come dance with me.” He snorted, “No, dance for me instead.”

She did. He liked it. He kind of liked her.

*******************

”What’s wrong with it?” He kept his lips sealed, hand over his mouth as he wiped away a little bit of the sauce with his fingers. She was making vodka sauce for three cheese penne. It was no secret Judah loved pasta and she’d decided she’d make some for lunch. “Judah! Seriously!” She slapped his arm, stomping her foot, his eyes wrinkling at the corners as he smiled wickedly, mouth still closed. “I ruined it, whatever.” 

She picked the pan up and was going to take it to the sink and he tried to keep her arm down. She whipped her head backwards, “Let go!” He chuckled deep in his chest, humming amusedly at the sight of her so angry and about to destroy everything, “It’s good.” 

She paused, “What?” She didn’t trust him and he knew it, “It’s good.” He sucked the sauce off his fingers, “now finish making lunch, bitch.” She put the pan back with a pop on the cooktop, “First off, you piece of shit, that wasn’t funny. Second, don’t fucking tell me what to do. Third, I learned to cook pasta in Italy so if your delicate palette doesn’t like my shit then it’s totally fucked just like your face.” 

He went to the couch and sat down, “I’m going to call Aba.” 

“Why?” 

“Check on Gaia.” 

“I already did and he and daddy took her with them while they went to Montgomery to check on Yoni’s apartment and to just spend the day together.” 

He snorted, “They’re so fucking sentimental.” 

“I’d be too, I mean, they went from four kids each so eight in total not including Jean and Marco’s kids or Maxim and Ilya’s kids and Mikasa and David’s two, I mean fuck they had a lot of kids to spoil and then nothing for a long time. I’ll probably want to do the same when she’s grown. I’ll be so sad without her. I’ll be all alone.”

He thought about her grown and it hurt him so badly he nearly gasped and fell into tears, “I don’t think you’ll be alone.”

**********************

“You make a good fort.” She said on her back, joint between her fingers and he kept lightly kissing her arm and biting it, “What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?” She asked slowly and he bit her a bit harder, “I stole from daddy once.” 

She suck air in, “How much?” 

“Twenty.” 

“That’s not bad.” 

“Thousand.” 

“ARE YOU SERIOUS?!” 

“Yes, and it’s the thing I have the most guilt about in my life and I paid it back but I mean, I’m really ashamed.” 

“Why did you do it?” He didn’t say anything for a while, “I paid off a drug debt for someone.” 

She turned her hand over and he watched her fingers move, “That’s actually really nice. Who?”

He hummed slightly, “Sapphire at the club. Her family were junkies and the drug lords had been on them for years. They also came after her. She just wants to make enough money for her full sex transition and I knew that debt would keep her down to just spotty hormones and frustration. She was able to leave her family for good knowing they had a clean start, she put money on an apartment, started to get her life in order. I felt like she deserved it.” She really liked that.

He looked up at her, “What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?” 

She took another hit, “I killed someone.” 

He snorted, “No….you didn’t do that.” 

She pulled her arm away suddenly, “How dare you! I was telling you something and you just fucking say something like that?!” 

She rolled over and away from him, “Fuck you.” 

She was really mad and she left the fort, “Aviva! Aviva! What the fuck!?” 

He rolled out with her and she had a red face, “WHY WOULD I HAVE LIED?” She screamed at him and he was high and kind of thought it was funny. “Because, come on, you’re a demoness but you’re no killer. You’re like…” She stared at him, hands in fists, “Like What, Judah?!” He looked around, hands in the air shrugging, “Like a really wicked flower.”

She gave him the most offended look, rage filled her body and she started throwing things at him. “FUCK YOU!” He tried to move past the flying objects, “BITCH WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!” Another crack of a plate, “BITCH, STOP!” She did and she was sobbing, covering her face, “I think about it all the time, Judah.” He started to understand that she’d actually killed someone and was understandably upset about it, well as understandably as he’d come to understand normal people were when they killed someone, “Aviva, you really killed someone?” She went to the bedroom and shut the door.

He could do the dramatic thing and bang on the door and ask her to open it. He could yell, he could sit down on the couch and get even more high. Or he could do exactly what Judah would do.

He took the door off the hinges and she had such an annoyed look on her face, “Aviva, come here.” “No!” Her beautiful face was streaked with tears and he couldn’t help but smirk at her little pout. “STOP SMIRKING!” He moved to the bed and she hit at him to keep him from wrapping her in arms, “I’m high Aiviva, that’s why I’m smirking. I can’t help it. I’m sorry, but you just don’t belong in the same category of killer. More like, you did what you had to so in order to live, to protect yourself.” She struggled against him, “GOD DAMN WOMAN, LET ME HOLD YOU!” 

“NO!” S 

he pushed him away and he sighed, falling onto the mattress, “You’re insufferable.” 

“I’m high.” 

“Do you want to talk and stuff?”

“I broke a commandment.” Judah sighed, “To save others.” “I’ll never forget his face.” “But, would it have been better to not have done it?” 

“Could there have been another way?” 

“Aviva, no. Sometimes, the answer is just no. There are people that as long as they breathe and live they will hurt and scar. If not you, then someone else.” 

She wiped her face and looked at him, “I saw a soldier cut a baby out of a woman. I kept thinking that could have been me.” He wanted to scream at the thought, “I’ll never let that happen. I promise.” She wiped her nose on her sleeve, “You can’t promise something like that.”

*********************

“Have you been crying?” Armin’s voice made Judah shudder, “I just miss my baby, vati.” She’d been crying since their conversation and despite the weed she wasn’t letting him help her at all even though he wasn’t that good at helping anyway. “Judah and you are getting along?” She nodded, “Yeah, I just want to see Gaia.” 

Armin smiled, “Well, she’s asleep but let me take the laptop in there and show you.” He walked them into her big girl nursery, “You’ve kept her in the nursery?” Aviva sounded upset, “Princess,” Erwin’s voice appeared, “It’s closer to our room and she liked it so we’ve been letting her nap in here. We co-sleep her.” Armin hit Erwin’s arm, “Hush!” Aviva giggled and Judah’s heart felt like it was having a stroke, “Ahhh I see, so how is that working? I’m sure Aba and Baba are doing the same.” 

Armin showed Gaia to them and then left, “Well, it’s been awhile since our last one and that was you, princess.” Aviva smiled, “I don’t mind Vati, I’m glad. It makes me feel a whole lot better knowing that she’s with you and Daddy and Aba and Baba.” Erwin and Armin both appeared, “She’s been eating, sleeping, playing, cooing, and smiling. It’s made us remember so much and we’re all so excited to have a little baby in the house again.” Armin smiled warmly and looked at Erwin who kissed him sweetly. Aviva smiled, “I love you two.” Armin giggled, “He’s a keeper.” He patted Erwin’s face fondly and Erwin smiled more, “Yeah, luckily you decided to keep me.” 

“I mean, you lucked out. I’m still young and spry!” 

Erwin chuckled, “Yeah, you ain’t gotta tell me.” Aviva laughed, “Ewwwww don’t even imply that!”

They chuckled, “You think that’s traumatizing!?” Armin began and Aviva groaned internally knowing what was coming. Erwin finished, “Try hearing your _daughter_ have sex. You realize you’ve scarred us, right? If you don’t get it, imagine Gaia having sex.” 

Judah started to cough and Aviva gave him an amused look, “Uh oh, seems like daddy didn’t like that.” She gave him a wicked smile as he sat up, “Like hell she’s going to do that. She’ll be a career woman.” Armin and Erwin smiled, ”Ah, Judah, nice to see your there and in the same room.” He leaned over and they smirked, “I see you don’t have a scratched face. All is well?” 

“Vati, Daddy, please, I need no guilt.” Armin shrugged, “Who’s guilting? I’m not guilting. But only a guilty person would think that.” Judah snorted, “You look just like Levi when you do that.” Judah covered his face with a pillow and she kept asking them things about what they’d heard and how everyone was.

******************

She buried her face in his chest in her sleep. He looked at her, took his phone out and made a picture. He traced her lips with his fingers. When her eyes opened she pulled the cover higher around her head, “What are you doing?” He didn’t reply and she closed her eyes, “I wonder if Gaia will make faces like that at me one day.” She sighed, “It’ll hurt my heart.” 

He moved, pulling his arm around her more, “Are you on birth control?” She inhaled sharply, “Yeah, IUD. I’ve been hoping the string would stab your dick but I guess the other guys had longer ones.” He was on fire, “You had sex with someone after Gaia?!” She hummed, “Uh huh, but like, only a few times. I was just depressed and it happened in the moment. I got a kick out of it because he looked so offended but kept on.” 

It made Judah furious but he tried to let it go. She didn’t owe him anything. He’d never said anything, “I told you, postpartum.” She whispered and he let the breath he was holding go. “Can’t it make you infertile if it attaches to the wall?” She looked up at him, “Yeah, but I always go to have it checked.” 

“It lasts how long now?” 

“This one is a year and a half.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, they used to be almost four years and they still have those but now they’ve got all these new ones and I chose it because then Gaia would be over a year and maybe if I wanted…” 

“Wanted?” 

“Another one….. then that would be a good space between them.”

Judah’s heart was beating out of his chest, “You want another one?” She nuzzled her face into his chest, “I think so. Maybe four or five.” He felt hot, he felt like vomiting, “Oh.” She moved up and kissed him, biting his bottom lip, “Hurt me, Judah.” Her whisper was tempting. He looked at her, “Any time, baby girl.” He flipped her over and started to attack her with her words saturating his mind.

******************

“So, we’re getting you fitted?” They’d packed up and instead of heading straight back to Maria they were going to Atlanta for a fitting and then to stay the night, “Yeah, for an event.” 

“When is that?” 

“Um well the next day.” J 

udah stared blankly, “So I should have booked two nights…” 

“Sowwies…You don’t have to stay. I’ll just get a car back.” 

“What?” He exclaimed looking back at her. She demurred, “Don’t look so offended, Judah. I’m supposed to go and wine and dine. It’s business for the dance world.” 

“Why would I just leave you there?” 

“Because, my dance partner is my date.” 

“I can entertain myself for a night. I’ll just go to a bar.” 

She shrugged and he scowled, “You jealous?” 

He scoffed, “You give yourself way too much credit. You don’t mean anything to me.”

She raised her eyebrows, “Well, good to know.” She sulked and he started the drive. He rolled his eyes half way out of Gatlinburg and reached over to pinch her, “Stop,” he kept on, “STOP!” His fingers were relentless and she slapped him, “STOP JUDAH! STOP TOUCHING ME!” He mocked her, “STOP TOUCHING MEEEEE.” She hit him again, “Hold my hand, Judah.” 

He sighed but did it and she smiled, “Just so you know, you don’t mean anything to me either. Just a baby daddy.” He snorted, “Good. Last thing I want is for you catch feelings.” She narrowed her eyes, “It’s me you’d get feelings for.” “Hardly.” He pulled his hand back and she pouted, turning over in her seat and putting her back to him.

Her phone buzzed consistently as they drove and she typed and typed till they were almost thirty minutes out of Atlanta. Almost four hours of her on her phone, “AVIVA, I SWEAR IF YOU DON’T STOP WITH THAT FUCKING PHONE I’LL DESTROY IT!” She rolled over and slammed it in the cup holder, saying nothing. He didn’t expect it to be that easy. It kept buzzing but she didn’t pick it up. He reached over and took her hand.

*******************

“This is perfect for you!” Michi squealed, “I think it’s perfect.” [She](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/b3/8a/8f/b38a8ffede372a4657d1d18bb9e9c99b.jpg) looked in the mirror suspiciously, she didn’t like it that much, and Troy walked in. “Yeah, that’s gunna look great on my arm.” She turned around coyly, “How lucky you are.” Michi pulled a suit bag out, “Let’s get you started.” Michi always sewed to fit the person’s personality and he was inspired by couples, “You two are a dream. Please tell me you’re lovers.” He winked and Troy gave her a sly smile, “I’ve been blessed a few times. It’s not easy being one of the only heterosexual male dancers.” Michi pinched him, “Yeah, right.”

She really loved Michi but she wasn’t feeling this dress. She couldn’t stand to not have something pink on her. It was a peculiarity, a side effect of her OCD, she focused on the thought of her underwear being black today and not pink. If only she had pink underwear on she’d feel better. [Troy](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/b2/03/d9/b203d996efadb031b13be873915c22d5.jpg) stood by her in the mirror, his hand slithered around her back and he pulled her close by her waist. She smiled, he was pretty handsome and pretty slick. They were the troublemakers at the company, “So, I’ve made reservations for tonight at Che LaLu tonight.” She giggled, “Oh, are they letting us come back?”

He gave her a dashing smile, “I think they were all just glad two attractive people like us put them on the map with a scandal.” She remembered she wasn’t alone, “Sorry, I won’t be able to come. I’m with someone and it’d be rude to leave them alone.” He gave her a surprised look, “Who? Are you serious?” She heard the clicking of a tongue and then Michi’s voice, “ _Who are you?_ ” 

He was practically beaming and his voice full of faux va-va voom, “You’re quite the dark horse. I mean, those brooding eyes, those pink lips, that skin, that hair, we could shave the side like the kids do and make you look even more like a raging punk. You’re like a villain we all want to fuck.” 

She turned around and Judah was smugly observing Michi and his fan girling, “Are you here for anything?” He had bags in his hand, “I’m here to wait on,” he looked at her, “that thing in the dress.” Michi was tickled pink, “Ohhhh Aviva. Doesn’t she look amazing?! Isn’t the dress perfect for her?” Aviva watched his face and groaned internally, “You’re kidding me? The dress is fine but for her, this is shit. She doesn’t wear anything like that.” Michi looked like his heart had been pierced, “Do continue, Don Quixote.” 

He looked her up and down, “She only wears pink. Put her in something pink.” Michi turned, “I know you like it but do you seriously only wear pink?” She was red in the face, “Yeah, I have OCD.” Michi stared, “I’ve seen you in other colors!” “I wear underwear that’s pink. I have to have at least one thing on that is pink.”

Troy snorted, “When you do wear underwear.” Judah didn’t miss that and looked at the way he looked at Aviva, the way he licked his lips, the way she smirked, the way he knew her so well. “Well, I need to find something but I don’t think pink will be easy.” Michi fretted and turned to him, “It will also ruin Troy as her date. He won’t match at all.” Judah gave a wicked smile and assumed that the dumbfuck near her was Troy, “I can make anything work.” He said smugly and Judah went to the plush white couches and fell down.

Michi threw dresses out of his wardrobe and Troy and Aviva chatted while Judah stared, looking very bored and very disgusted as per normal. Aviva and Michi started to put on different shapes and styles while Judah occasionally felt Troy stare at him and sum him up. He was handsy with Aviva, made comments. Judah was tired of him but he was her dance partner and he couldn’t do much without hurting her performance opportunities. But he wasn’t going to forget this cheeky asshole, especially the kiss he laid on her shoulder.

She tried on dress after dress and Judah relaxed watching how she seemed to transform in each one. She was shy in some, powerful in some, and then it hit him, “Okay, this shit is taking forever.” He stood up and went into the closet of dresses and rummaged around, “Are you allergic to pink here? I thought this was a fashion house not a fucking yellow and grey wonderland.” 

Michi burst into laughter, “It hurts me but it’s true. I had more colors but then something happened and we purged. I don’t know.” He turned to her, “I like him. Does he model?” Aviva’s eyebrow twitched, “You like that asshole!?” Michi smiled, “I adore him.” He appeared, “I found one dress that is Aviva.” Michi looked like he might die from suspense. Judah unzipped the bag a little, “Will you wear this? It’s red.” Aviva paused, “Yeah…I’ll wear red.” Her smile made his throat feel like he had strep, “This let’s get this shit and fucking go.”

*******************

She liked the [room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/9d/c4/a4/9dc4a4e40c3e0703cf709e2db22462d1.jpg) and they went out to eat before coming back to skype Gaia and crash. She turned her phone on “do not disturb” and he watched a tattoo reality tv show, “We’ve not gone one day without sex since you got back.” She said stating a fact and he made a humpf noise, “I guess so.” She stretched, “I’m going to bed now. I’m really tired.” 

He looked at her and smirked, “SO, no sex today. I hear you.” She laughed and he felt like he was kicked in the ribs.

“I hate these things because everyone is so cut throat and they really judge you here. Ughhhh oh well. I’m Aviva Smith…I’m a Smith. I’m perfect.” Judah threw a pillow at her, “Go to sleep before I smother you, Smith.” She got her bat stuffie out and hugged it getting inside of the covers, “I like this room.” He looked around, he’d picked it because it was outlandish, ridiculous, and fucking insane. He picked it because it reminded him of her. “It’s okay, I guess.”

*******************

She woke up and the [bath](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/c8/3a/81/c83a81e47595124a66125fb7f615791f.jpg) was full of petals. He was gone running errands and doing whatever Judah did. A woman appeared at the door and told her she was here to do her nails. She was happy with [them](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/74/f9/25/74f925f6c6d4c71f2feb6d1f2f211953.jpg) and she did them while she was in the bath relaxing. 

She walked into the bedroom and found that lunch had been delivered. She ate while they came to do her hair and she also saw that he left her a few things that had notes on them.

Another knock and [flowers](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e3/60/33/e36033d55c565286247f2b778f85157d.jpg) were delivered. She opened the first box.

_I got these for your shitty ass ears. Who the fuck are you kidding trying to fit in when these fucking people? This is much more your style than that shitty yellow 90s dream dress._

The bat [earrings](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/68/47/ef/6847ef4de01f95db2517d3475732da9d.jpg) were really something she’d love and she wanted to wear them but she still needed something pink.

She picked the next box up.

_Something that’s pink for your claws._

She opened the [ring](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/08/07/24/08072457a707e92acb393a313ca1d189.jpg) and was really impressed. This was something that looked like Vati and Daddy would have picked for the store. She put it on and was surprised at the fabulous fit. 

She picked up the next one.

_You’ll understand._

She opened to see the [thong](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/43/41/e6/4341e6b15a13fb4e9b26dd5b5c68fecc.jpg) and was actually thankful because she couldn’t wear any of the other underwear she had with this dress. 

She checked her phone since she was slightly lonely. She looked at her last texts to Zev.

**Aviva:** You shouldn’t be promoting murder.

**Zev:** We all have our flaws.

She smirked and then checked Yoni’s.

**23:12 Yoni:** I love alcohol.

**10:16 Yoni:** I regret everything.

She had to reply.

**Aviva:** TELL ME EVERYTHING.

It was a group chat and Gisela popped in.

**Wifey:** PHOTOS OR IT DIDN’T HAPPEN!

Aviva was dying waiting for the reply. She checked Tuvia.

**Tuvia:** I’m kind of like omg she’s so pretty like why is she even talking to me???

Aviva bit her lip and laid on the bed while some bags were delivered. “Miss, this is from a Mr. Ackermann….he has tattoos?” She looked over, “Oh, yeah, I know him.” He smiled, “Just checking. He seemed a bit out of place shopping where he was so I just wanted to make sure.” 

She gave a short laugh, “Naw, that’s just his sour face. He’s actually pretty well off, just doesn’t like to be out and socialize so stores make him uncomfortable.” The man smiled, “Well, he must care a lot about you then.” She wanted to vomit, “Eeeewwww.” He looked offended, “Not you, just at the feelings. Have a good day!”

She opened her last text to Gisela.

**Wifey:** I WANT TO GIVE HIM THINGS LIKE BLOW JOBS AND SELF ESTEEM!

**Aviva:** OMG I’M DYING

**Wifey:** Forgive me for I have sinned. I dropped an entire pallet of Anastasia Beverly Hills Moon Child glow palette and I can’t save it because…..it’s a long story but there are tears that have stained the broken makeup trays and they’re not even my tears.

**Aviva:** Whose are they? 

**Wifey:** Some bitch that I had by the hair and I made her get on her knees and beg for forgiveness.

**Aviva:** Omg was this a sell?

**Wifey:** BITCH IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN

**Aviva:** YOU WENT WITHOUT ME!!! But oh god that’s so hot thank you for that fucking metal ass image.

Aviva sent off another text and learned that Zev and Gisela were coming home the day they would get back in Maria and she couldn’t contain herself.

She opened Judah’s last and wasn’t disappointed.

**Judah:** What’s your religion? You’re difficult like most Smiths. Either fully committed Zionists or agnostic pussies.

**Aviva:** Money.

**Judah:** Not even surprised.

.

.

.

**Judah:** You make me so angry so quickly.

**Judah:** It’s remarkable.

**Aviva:** OMG I LITERALLY SAID LIKE 6 WORDS!!!!!!!

**Judah:** And yet here I am boiling with hate.

.

.

.

Judah was frowning as Michi ran around him sewing and prodding him with needles. Now, he didn’t mind Mikasa, she was talented, wonderful, beautiful, and best of all, quiet. Michi was screeching, he’d had a hairstylist come and do a side cut in his undercut and was talking about something like being a handsome gangster. 

Judah didn’t care. He’d been asked to come and thought it would be a good way to annoy Aviva and keep an eye on Troy. Not that he cared but he wanted proof if she broke their agreement and what better way to ensure it didn’t even happen if he was there?

His phone vibrated.

**Aviva:** Play with me. 

He opened the [picture](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/aa/4a/b4/aa4ab4b761e40af124b98bd650673769.jpg) attachment and sighed. 

Judah: You should be preparing for tonight.

She replied in no time.

Aviva: But I’m your

Aviva: [picture](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/6d/34/aa/6d34aaf18a4b6edf16fc011f47a148ce.jpg)

Judah swallowed, “The pollen in this place is shit. Close those windows.” Michi smiled, “I saw those photos.” Judah looked even more sour, “Whatever.” “I’m going to be honest, this is a test of my own. Troy has been seriously interested and what I would call obsessed in her and I’m really wondering how you’re going to play into this. He’s a rough one.” 

“Rough?”

“Fights. Get’s into trouble a lot.”

“Doesn’t sound like Aviva’s type.”

“Really? I’d say that’s just what she’s looking for. Someone to self destruct with in safety. I don’t know if he’s the safe she’s looking for, though.”

He opened his texts again.

Judah: What do you possibly want from me since I’ve got things being delivered to you as we speak?

Aviva: I want you to come here and, you know, do things I like.

Judah: Oh HaShem….what do you like?

Aviva: Well,…. :D I like my hair pulled and I like to be choked. But I also like to cuddle and have my nose and forehead kissed. 

Judah: So, treat you like a princess and fuck you like a whore. These are your “likes.” Wow.

Aviva: We can do something you like?

Judah snorted before replying.

Judah: I like horror movies and you hate them.

Aviva: I like horror movies?

Judah: Are you sure? Using a ? isn’t telling me you do.

Aviva: I LOVE PSYCHOLOGICAL THRILLERS AND ALSO THOSE WEIRD CULT ONES.

Judah: My bad.

Aviva: Come back to the room. <3 We can watch one before my gig. I wanna watch them while you’re hand is in my pants or my hair I can’t decide. <3

Judah: I have two hands. I can do both.

Aviva: Look at [this!](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/d6/d8/63/d6d863b33ed8dceb38f26e55e719f80c.jpg) Vati and Baba have her today omg <3 Those eyes! 

Judah opened the photo and showed Michi who was still looking over his shoulder from time to time. “Is that her daughter?”

“Our daughter.”

Michi dropped his pin cushion and clutched over his heart, “OH _YOU’RE_ THE FATHER?! OOOOOOOHHHHHH OOOOHHHHH THIS IS JUST TOO MUCH! MY VAPORS! OHHH LORT I MUST SIT DOWN!” Michi took a seat and took a drink of his mimosa while Judah returned to his conversation, “Is this done?”

“Just waiting on the pants.” His phone vibrated.

Aviva: PAY ATTENTION TO ME!

Judah: Are you ever not self centered? 

Aviva: Shut up

Judah: You shut up

Aviva: Make me.

Judah: I will but you might moan a little.

Aviva: Are you really not coming over here?

Judah: No, I have business.

Aviva: I’m crying

Judah: You don’t even have the ability.

Aviva: True but I can steal tears and pass them off as my own.

Judah: I’ll see you tonight.

Aviva: NOOOO PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!!

********************

Troy was in the lobby to pick her up when [she](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/4a/92/93/4a9293ff6c27290cc168c3464e88edca.jpg) walked down. He whistled, “DAMN!” She smiled, “I know, I know.”

“Let’s get some whisky sours, beautiful.” She took his arm he offered her and headed out towards the Rolls Royce he’d rented them for the night. They waited for the car to come around when another one pulled up, a nicer car, a red and black [Bugatti](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/68/49/2e/68492ee3d1e321a86137aa57624b91d5.jpg). She whistled, “Now, that’s a sexy car.”

He nodded, “Yeah, for sure. Well it’s a little impractical.” The door opened and [Judah ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/37/01/a9/3701a9bc8966fd22a1e2676af8467d35.jpg)stepped out, “Get in the car, bitch.” He was dressed in a dashing red suit that had to be made by Michi. She smirked, “You wanted to go to the ball, too? Cinderella much.” He rolled his eyes, “OH yes, I wanted to meet my prince charming.” She giggled and Troy gave him a hard cold stare, “Aviva and I are bound by contract to show up together.” Judah shrugged, “Guess you better follow us.”

She looked between them and Troy tightened his hand on her arm, “Sorry son, she’s riding with me.” Judah nicked his chin up, “Let her pick.” Aviva chewed the inside of her cheek, “I’ll meet you there, Troy. We’ll be stuck together for everything and Michi clearly wanted me to have a matching date.”

Troy looked aghast that she chose Judah and he smirked smugly, “Have a nice drive, _son._ ” Judah walked over to open her door and she slid in. Troy spat on the ground, “Whatever, fucker.” Judah flicked him off and got back inside. They pulled away from the curb and she looked at him, “I don’t have any pockets and I refused to carry a bag to this thing.” He looked over and turned on his IPOD. He picked a song that always made him think of Aviva for some reason. He didn’t really like that but it was true.

Breathe through, ride through, damn girl 

Oh man I don't know 

Pilled up filled up damn girl 

I'll be getting back to you for sure, man man 

Laced up dripped up sauced up 

Damn girl I wanna ride with you 

Waved up blowing up blowing up growing up 

Had to get it popping with you 

”So? Is there a point?” He said tersely and she smiled, “So, I’ve got nothing on me and whoever is my date is going to have to pay for everything and make sure I get back home in one piece.” He chewed the inside of his cheek, “Where is your phone?”

“In the room. You weren’t responding.”

“WE HAVE A CHILD!” She shrugged and he wanted to kill her.

What if I pick you up from your house 

We should get out 

We haven't talked in awhile 

We should roll to see where it goes 

I saw potential in you from the go 

You know that I did 

I don't know if you know but I know who you are 

You could be big as Madonna 

Just get in the car and let's touch the road 

Don't make other plans 

Say you get up early, you work for the man 

Well he'll understand 

Pull up I'm pulling up on you in ten 

Already on ten 

Big as Madonna I'll say it again 

Soon as you get in nah nah nah 

“I’m fucking with you. I’ve got it.” She smiled coyly and he hummed in his chest, “Mmmm where?” She bit her lip seductively, “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Breathe through, ride through, damn girl 

Oh man I don't know 

Pilled up filled up damn girl 

I'll be getting back to you for sure, man man 

Laced up dripped up sauced up 

Damn girl I wanna ride with you 

Waved up blowing up blowing up growing up 

Had to get it popping with you 

Judah reached over and placed his hand on her thigh, “That guy, I’m gunna fuck him up.” She looked out the window, “Don’t. He’s a nice guy.”

“Aviva, don’t fuck with me.”

“Maybe you should trust me.”

“I don’t know how.”

She took his hand and laced her fingers with his own, “That’s gay, stop.” He pulled his hand back and she giggled, “So are you.”

“Hush, that’s offensive.”

“JUDAH!”

“We’re here.”

Showing up anywhere with Aviva was always a cluster fuck. All of the photographers were there and she was the star. He realized that this wasn't just for the company but that she was the company. Her face was all over on promotionals and there were awards being given and she was up for a lot of them.

He got out and opened the door for her, the flashes intense and he felt awkward. She took his arm and he felt for the first time her shake from nerves. He looked at her and she was smiling on the outside but this was overwhelming. She liked being spoiled and being the center of attention but not like this. These people were scrutinizing every last detail and he gave her hand a squeeze.

Troy was there in a flash and he moved away in order for them to do interviews. She pulled on his hand, “You'll be inside?” She sounded scared he wouldn't be, “Of course.” He looked at her, looked at weak Aviva, real Aviva and knew he'd never walk away from her. _Shit what the fuck is going on with me?!_

She smiled and he watched as he kissed her and groped her. He heard the rumors, heard the talk about how they were the favorite couple of the dance company and how they'd been dating on and off since she had Gaia. He even heard an insinuation Gaia was Troy’s and that burned him alive.

He drank, she found him in a foul mood but she didn't seem to mind. In fact, she pulled his arm and drug him on the dance floor where he danced with her sinfully, revealing his genetic gift of dance all Ackermanns seemed to posses. But then Troy was there and it was time for awards.

He won a few and Judah sat at the table suit jacket off, smoking, near wasted as he watched his hand trail up and down her body on stage as they showed a compilation of practice candids and short films. She was radiant. He was finally admitting Aviva was really even more gifted than he'd known. She was splendid at this. She was…. 

She won a premier award and was hailed as the future. Judah knew this meant more practice hours, more time away, and her eating disorder would grow worse. Troy seemed to do more damage than help. He watched him give her nothing but booze and send the catering plates away but Aviva and he had an undeniable connection. They recreated their onstage kiss for a magazine and Judah put his cigarette out in a glass of champagne. 

The night went on, they danced more, laughed, were free in a way. But Troy took up half the time she had to spare and Judah collapsed at the table checking on Gaia when she appeared, “If we don't leave they'll keep on.”

He stood up shakily and she looked at him, face covered in sweat. She reached out with both hands and smoothed over his face, fingers delving into his hair. She grabbed lightly at the roots and then he reached up to cover the hand with Judah written on it.

_Why did you get that on you?_

She leaned forward and kissed him before moving back and shakily motioning to the door, “Come on.”

He took her to a seedy bar, bought her chicken wings, fries, and a cherry coke. She laughed at the band playing bad covers and he missed Gisela because this is what they did together but somehow doing it with Aviva was okay, too.

She told him he looked like shit most of the time but he'd looked good tonight and he told her she was an amazingly talented dancer full of bitchiness and shit. She went silent and looked like she'd cry. He took a wing and dipped it in the blue cheese, “Am I?”

She said and his heart hurt like he'd been stabbed and his head hurt like he was having a stroke and he couldn't breathe, “Talented and Beautiful, yeah.” He mumbled the words but she heard him. She took the wing before he could eat it and finished off his beer, “Chicken wings and fries we don't go on dates.” She sang and he wanted to hurt her, “Order some to go. My feet hurt.”

“You're going to eat more?”

“I'm going to eat more and get some head in a comfortable bed.”

He snorted, “Really? Those were my plans.”

“Sounds like we should go. But, Judah,” she leaned closer, “it's all about me getting head tonight.”

************

He packed their bags while she still slept, hair on her pillow messily, covers barely exposing her left shoulder and one foot. She'd ran him through the ringer when they got back. More champagne, breathless kisses, rough fondling, and sinful threats. 

She'd managed to wake up in the middle of the night while he was on a business call that he'd woke up to. She looked around and he watched from outside on the balcony as she felt around for him and then crawled off the bed. He thought she was looking for him but she grabbed the chicken wings and finished another glass of champagne. She told him she'd been going without alcohol because of breastfeeding. He knew she lived off champagne and souls of the fallen righteous. 

Now she was softly mumbling in her sleep and he didn't want to wake her from such sweet slumber. 

_Who was he kidding?_ He pulled the covers back suddenly and started to spank her. She woke up screaming and he laughed as she tried to cover her bottom. “Wake up, bitch. Time to leave.” She pouted, “Asshole.” “Go clean yours before I pack the toiletries.” She stood up weakly, very tired and bruised. He watched her stretch before taking a shower and he worried about her future dance schedule. 

* * * * * * * * *

She was smiling so brightly as she was handed off to Aviva, “Princess! I MISSED YOU!” She was sobbing as she held Gaia to her chest and covered her with kisses. Judah dropped their bags and when Aviva pulled herself together she held Gaia slightly up and her little head turned till she saw Judah. She smiled a toothless smile and was so happy, that Aviva was radiant as she looked back and forth between them, “Do you see daddy? Oh, is that daddy?” Judah wiped a tear from his eye and kissed her. She laughed and that made them both so happy. Aviva and Judah moved into the living room and Eren and Armin took their things to Aviva’s room to let them have time with their child.

Levi watched from the side of the Kitchen’s opening the two trouble makers and their child. Erwin appeared behind him and sighed.

A few hours before they’d been in Gaia’s room. Levi held her as she napped in his arms and Erwin stood next him touching the tip of her nose, “I am a selfish man.” Erwin’s voice was low and shameful. Levi looked at him, “Why?” “Because I love to look at her for a selfish reason.” “What’s that?” “Because this is the first child that’s got you and me in it at the same time. She has features of you, features of me. This is, in a way, what our kids would have looked like if we’d been just us.” Levi’s face contorted, he looked down at Gaia and a tear ran down his cheek, “You really know how to fuck someone up emotionally, you asshole.” Erwin chuckled and they kissed one another holding their grandchild.

Now they were watching their two children coo and awe just as they had done over their precious little girl. Armin and Eren returned and smiled, “Maybe there will be peace?”

“Not, likely.”

“Oh, Erwin, such a pessimist.”

“Levi?”

“I think something has changed with Judah but I’m not sure. Never am with Judah.” 

Erwin shifted, “Don't you dare.” Levi hissed looking over at him. Both Armin and Eren were taken aback from the quick hostility. Erwin grew hard and Armin tried to end whatever was beginning, “It's going to be fine. The others are coming today.” As if by cue there was a click from the door and then the trademark laughter, “Hahahahah Gigi! YOU WERE LIKE OOOOOOOH AND I WAS LIKE WAS THAT A GODDAMN DINO COME TO LIFE!?”

Gisela laughed along with him and Judah was gone from the couch. They walked through the kitchen and saw Gisela and Judah in tears embracing. Judah let loose a sob and Gisela pressed herself closer to him. Zev stood to the side, smiling fondly at them when he too lost it when Aviva appeared with Gaia. 

Zev’s huge form engulfed an emotional Aviva and he lavished Gaia with attention, picking her up and holding her in the air, “ZEV, SHE'S TOO LITTLE!” Aviva shrieked while Gaia laughed loudly.

He smiled his trademark mischievous smile and she relented due to the adorable sounds of her baby. Judah and Gisela were speaking softly to one another in the made up language they'd had since childhood.

Judah was pitiful and she was equally so. They hated being away from one another. Zev eventually embraced Judah and Aviva embraced Gisela with Gaia on her hip and then into Gisela’s arms she went.

It was interesting for the parents. Gaia was now held and loved on by Zev and Gisela and they all wondered if that would be next for them? Would they be granted that happiness? Levi and Eren and Armin and Erwin couldn't control themselves any longer and attacked their children with hugs and kisses, maybe a little guilt, too.

Levi and Eren kissed on Gisela while she told them all about the flights for the others and smiled while Levi filled her in on the clinic and all the various business. Eren opened the fridge and started to force baklava in her mouth. When Yoni and Tuvia arrived there was more to celebrate but nothing was like Ezra and Nikko appearing.

They were home, the Ackermanns and Smiths. All of their children we're safe and then Mila appeared, Cesare on her heels with Bianca following. Bellamy came in late, still in his uniform and smiling, “I've got turkish coffee and tea!” By that time Jean, Marco, Maxim, Ilya, Alexi, Lilly, and Gio had all arrived and pulling up in the driveway were the Lavies full of smiles and food.

They visited with one another, smiled, laughed, there were no tears for tonight everyone was alive and everyone was okay. Gisela, Zev, and Keita outlined the future and Judah sat with Aviva holding his daughter in his lap.

Aviva eventually talked about her news and danced with Zev outside between the houses under the Edison lights strung around their communal yard of fun. Gisela jumped into the pool with Judah following her. Gaia was safely in the arms of Nikko with Ezra entertaining her with faces while Cesare sketched them and kissed Ezra’s hand.

Mila and Hannahlore watched with drinks as Keita spoke animatedly with Alexi and Tuvia. He seemed in better spirits of late and they assumed he'd garnered a promotion of some sort. Keita looked over at Gisela as she climbed out of the pool before pulling Levi in with her. He laughed fully, swimming around his daughter and pushing her beneath the surface as she laughed. Bellamy and Lilly were talking on the couches while Marco danced with Jean and they kissed one another.

When they all decided to go to bed Judah found himself in a sensitive situation. Aviva bathed Gaia with Gisela while Zev told him that he thought Gaia was one of the most beautiful children in the world. “She has your coloring but she’s going to have her button nose, her eyes are shaped like both and her lips are….wow so rosy and red. She looked like snow white. She’ll be a real life snow white.”

“I think she looks just like Aviva….”

“Oh, man, you can’t deny that hair, those eyes, the shape of her face looks like it might be similar to yours. She’ll be a lot like you, I think.”

“Do you want kids?” Zev went silent, “I’m not prepared to say either way. I’m scared.” Judah nodded, “Aviva….said she might…” Zev waved his hand, “We can talk later, you and me. I get it.” Judah nodded, smiling softly, “Hab dich lieb, Bruder.” (I love you, brother)

But Judah was still pained when it came to choosing between sleeping near Gaia or with Gisela, “Giselaka, come here.” He opened his arms where he was sitting on the bed and she smiled crawling into them and kissing him, “I missed you.”

He fell back on his side, pulling her to him and covering them up with a blanket. He cocooned them, “I missed you. I love you so much.” She nuzzled her face into his shoulder and he cried a bit. She wiped his tears, “When you are away, my heart weeps. But, when we are together, it rejoices. I am whole again.” He smiled a bit at her words and she kissed him again, “You shouldn’t cry, you’re supposed to be strong for me.” He laughed shakily, “I want to be near you.” She nodded her head, “Yeah, me too.”

Aviva appeared with Gaia in the towel. Zev rolled off the bed smiling, “Gindele, come to uncle Zev. I will make you so happy.” He took her, kissing her cheeks and drying her hair. Aviva smiled and there was a knock at her door. “Dedka?”

Zadkiel cleared his throat, “Princess, is Zev here?” She nodded, “He has Gaia. Is everything alright?” He shrugged, “I just need to talk with him.” Zev pressed more kisses to Gaia, pulling out a sweet little outfit, “I’ll dress her and then come to your room Dedka, okay?” Zad nodded, “Fine.”

He moved to walk away but admired them, “It makes me happy that you are all here.” He reached out and brushed her cheek fondly, “You’re so beautiful and so sweet.” She shook her head, “Dedka, no.”

She looked at the floor, “You all are our most precious jewels.” Judah snorted, “You’re getting sentimental, Dedka. That’s what our parents do, not you. You put bags of sand on our backs and make us carry them for a few miles. If we wanted tears and words of love we’d go to Baba.”

Zev laughed and Zad rolled his eyes, “Judah, you’re not so unsentimental as you want others to believe.” He left and Zev followed. He handed Gaia off to her, “Tonight, I’ll stay in here with you and Gaia while they spend time together. I’ve missed my baby sister and my niece and twins are a strange thing.” Judah was touched he’d made the choice for him and Aviva nodded. She didn’t seem to mind it too much.

They eventually kissed Gaia good night. Gisela and Aviva held hands, chins on each other’s shoulder. Aviva and Gisela whispered quietly as Judah waited to head to their room. She pulled back from Aviva and looked to Judah before smiling, “I told Aviva to have fun with Zev’s toenails he seems to refuse to cut. I’m getting cut all the time by them.”

Judah smiled despite himself, “He gets that from daddy.” Aviva turned to him and there was a short moment where he didn’t know what to say or if he should say something. She turned her face away and went to her bed, “Finally some time to myself. Bye y’all.” He was annoyed that she’d not said something to him but he didn’t know why he’d care.

*  
*  
*

“I took her to Gatlinburg, we ate, we danced, we got along.” “You had a lot of sex.” “What does it matter?” “It matters.” “No, it doesn’t. It’s just sex.” “Hmm.” “Why hmmm? There’s nothing to hmmm.” “No, no, if you say so, then it’s so.” “Giselaka, we just had to learn to get along for Gaia.” “You like her.” “I dislike her not as much as others.” “You looked at her, you know, you looked at her and I felt it.” “You felt nothing.” “I felt something.” “Shut up.” “She looked at you, you know.” “You’re starting something and there’s no reason.” “You love her.” Judah froze, “Gisela, stop. Stop it right now.” “You love her. She wants another baby.” “She _has_ a career!” “What does that have to do with it?!” “She’s going to be working more because she’s on the verge of making it big here. She wants to go back to Russia and dance. She’d go to France again, to Austria. She wants to dance, Gisela. Another baby is too much and…. please leave me alone.”

He rolled over and turned his back to her. His chest was hot, rash forming. He was upset and her cool body pressed against him made his more emotional, “I don’t trust her.” “Why?” “Because I’m not....she’ll want something else and she’ll be upset. I think she’s interested in someone else.” “What?!” “I think there's someone she’s more invested in emotionally and I think Gaia clouds her judgement. We just needed to learn to get along, nothing more. Please stop pushing it because it honestly hurts me and I can’t keep talking about it right now.” She was shocked but she let him alone. She pressed her lips to his shoulder. “Will you sing for me, Giselaka?” She kissed his shoulder again, “Die Nacht erwacht, die Erde träumt. Der Mond trägt sein silbern Gewand. Das schoenstes Kleid….” * * * 

“Your phone is pissing me off, bubbeleh.”

She snorted, “Gadol Hador, you have no idea how annoyed I am by it.”

“Is it Judah?”

“No….”

“Who is it?” She opened the texts and groaned, “Someone I need to take care of.” Zev rolled over to gather her in his arms, “I love you.” She kissed his cheek, “I gotta go in a bit, will you watch Gaia for a few hours?” Zev gave a contorted face, “I’m taking Gisela to,”

“Oh, that’s fine I can ask one of our parents.”

“Why not Judah?” “He’s probably still asleep.”

“Oh…” Zev moved forward, “Judah and you…” “Shut up…”

She was nervous and he sensed it, “What’s going on?”

“My….it’s a guy who I dated for a while and he’s being really pushy and won’t leave me alone.”

“Oh…”

“I need to tell him to leave me alone.” “Because of Judah?”

“STOP ASKING ME ABOUT THAT FUCKING BASTARD.”

“He’s a lovable bastard….”

“STOP!” 

She stood up and went to change. She wasn’t feeling like relying on safety, she needed to try and be as fierce as she could, uncomfortable even, this was going to take a lot in the of art bitchiness to do. [She](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/eb/a9/04/eba9045e73852ad327ef5cff54b7e362.jpg) grabbed something Gisela would probably have worn and threw it on. When she picked up Gaia Zev cleared his throat, “Bubbeleh, you call me if you need me.” She paused, “I’ll be fine.” He hummed, “Okay…” She kissed him and he kissed Gaia, “Gindele, I’m going to love you to death.” Gaia smiled and Aviva kissed her, “Not before I do.”

She started down the hall past Gisela’s room towards vati and daddy’s room when her door opened and it was Judah, “Where are you going?” He looked at her, still sleepy, “I’ve got to run some errands and I’m just going to leave her with vati and daddy so you can sleep.”

“What? What do you have to do right now?”

“It’s private. You’re not my fucking keeper.”

He stared at her, biting his words back, “Whatever, bitch.” She kept on walking and he stood at the door waiting for her to walk back by. 

When she did he grabbed her, pushed her against the wall and she gave him such an offended look, “Judah!” She hissed as he lifted her shirt and pulled her pants down. She slapped him, “You fucking bastard!” She pushed him away and walked off with a huff. He stared at the door and listened to her march out the front, slamming it with her offended over dramatic flare. He went back into his sister’s room and put his clothes on, “What are you doing?” 

“I’ve got business.”

“Fucking tell me the truth.”

“I think she’s going to break her promise and I need to know.”

“JUDAH!”

“I NEED THIS!”

He looked at her and she met his stare, “This is it. Then you need to let it go.”

“Gisela, I can’t. She’s the constant provoker in my life. I will never be able to soothe the itch that she gives me, heal the wounds she inflicts on me, remedy the sickness that she continues in me. Aviva Smith is to me what Gasoline is to fire.”

He went into Erwin’s office and found him with Gaia in his lap, “Tell me where she went.” Erwin looked at him like he'd demanded he give away his money, “Absolutely not. She is a grown woman and you have no right to demand such. I wouldn't know either.” Judah stared, anger flared, “I'll put it to you this way. She's left her child when she should be in bed resting after a long trip and dance premier but instead she goes off to run errands when she could have waited and or asked me to do them. She also isn't wearing anything, and I do mean anything, pink. So, I have a pretty good idea something is going on that's upset her or is going to upset her. Therefore, eyebrow man, tell me where the fuck she's going so I can make sure she's okay!” Erwin leaned back, Gaia softly cooing in his arms, “Nothing pink?”

“Not a damn stitch.”

Erwin bit his lip and opened up his computer typing quickly, “She's heading to…..Sunday Morning it would appear but give me your phone.” He took it and opened some sort of app and then handed it back, “There it is. But, Judah, you realize that you and I haven't talked, right? We've not discussed the things you screamed at my daughter in front of her child. I think you understand that we're overdue and I hope you do take it this way, I am threatening you. If you do something to her today with this information Levi will not be able to rescue you.” Erwin was lethal with his words. Judah nodded, “I understand.”

He turned to go and Erwin went back to work with Gaia nestled into his chest. The door closed and he shifted, groaning, “You may lose your father if he doesn't check himself. I may be your granddaddy but I can still kick a punk ass motherfucker’s ass,” he thought for a second before adding, “especially an Ackermann that looks just like Lee. I'll shove that kid's face in sewer gutter water.” Gaia sneezed, “BLESS YOU, SWEET PEA SUGAR PUFF SNOODLE DOODLE!” 

Armin was half asleep on the couch and had gone unseen by Judah. He thought Erwin was kidding himself. He was such a big softie now. “Wanna go to the festival today? We can take her if need be.”

“Where are the kids going?”

“Yoni left for Montgomery to go to his apartment. Tuvia took Bianca to Chewacla and Bellamy and Lilly are with them. Alexi is at Judah’s club with Max and Ilya working. Nikko is at Hanji's. Ezra and Cesera are going to the art crawl in Montgomery, Hannahlore is running a booth there. Jean and Marco are with Oulu and Yvonne. Mikasa and David went to the art crawl and Keita is in Atlanta. Judah apparently is chasing Aviva and Zev said he was going to take Gisela somewhere special.”

“Special?!”

“I don't think he means engagement.”

“Oh….are they ever just going to get together?!”

“It's hard, Erwin.”

“Baby, how do you know about every single thing in our family and world?”

“I listen. You need to work on that. Age has made you super stubborn and ornery.” Gaia laughed and Erwin gasped, “Gaia, you betray me!”

“Eren and Levi are going to Hanji's too.”

“Oh yes, don't forget them.”

“I almost forget myself we have so many fucking kids.”

“Ha!”

“Gio is also at Chewacla.”

“I don't know how you do it…..”

“Me either.”

*  
*  
*

Aviva pulled up and parked close to the door. She sat for a second and got her game plan together. She thought about how this was partly her fault for not telling him the other night that Judah was with her with her and she wasn't playing around. However, she had really developed an attachment to him and that was a lie. 

Postpartum had really wrecked her and only until Hanji had explained the various signs had she realized what was going on. 

She had missed Judah. She had been looking for someone like Judah. She wanted someone who was in control, someone who would take care of her, someone who would fight her but eventually let her have her way, she'd wanted Gaia to have someone stable and normal and actually that was why she'd thought he was an okay substitute. Troy was normal, he danced, he traveled, but he was normal. Troy had always had a thing for her. 

They flirted, didn't fight. In fact, he was like a Judah on Xanax and that's why she gone with the flow when he'd approached her after practice for dates, flowers, and sex was Ok. Charles came only after Troy traveled to France and she’d not wanted to be alone. 

He'd had stability, money, and he was who little girls were supposed to grow up and marry. But, then again, neither of these men were Jewish. That actually bothered her quite a bit. _Oy, Aba would be proud._

She walked inside and through the multitude of screens she was taken to a secluded section near the windows. The view was stunning because Maria was stunning this time of year, well all year really. Troy smiled, there were flowers. 

They made small talk and she wanted to run. She didn’t like things like this. She felt like she had to be something she wasn't. She'd been pushed by men before and she always felt like her reason for wanting to end their relationship wasn't good enough. He got to the point, “So, we've really been dancing around something for a while.” She sipped her water, “Oh?” He smiled, “We can talk about it after we order.” 

“I won't be staying.”

That started it, “What? Of, course you'll be staying. Don't be ridiculous. After we get our food we'll,”

“I'm not staying.” She said the words strongly. He sat back, “Aviva, what's your problem? I know you need to work on your weight but seriously, don't be such a bitch.”

She pressed, “When I had Gaia we had already been flirty with one another. Then we started having sex and dating. But, you left and wanted to be with other people,” 

“I never said that. I said we had an open relationship when I traveled.” 

“No,” she narrowed her eyes, “Because I'd never agree to that. When I dated Charles you got annoyed and started doing exactly what you're doing to me now.” 

“What's that?” 

“Harassment.” 

Troy looked at her like she was the dumbest person in the world. “It's not harassment when you want it.” 

“I don't want it. I reply because you threatened me that you'd show up somewhere or do something. I replied to tell you to stop doing shit like this. We have a professional relationship. We could have had more, had a little more than, but we don't.”

He looked flabbergasted, “What the fuck is wrong with you?” 

“A lot but this is what's up.” 

“You fucking love this. You want me. You want to be with me. What girl starts throwing herself at a guy after she had a kid? A slut. That's what you are and you should be glad I even want anything to do with your fat whore ass. I'm invested in you. I've taken you out, spent money on you, and now you're saying I harassed you. Did I _make_ you go on these dates? No, you were just dying to go on them.” 

He was fuming, “And then the other night you knew we had plans and a contractual agreement and you brought that fucker with you like a goddamn baby sitter.”

She wanted to flip the table but she just sat back knowing this was to be expected. “Why did you even bring such a waste of space like him? He might have cleaned up but he's shit, low level, brutish, backwards, shit Aviva. For a high maintenance whore like you he's nothing. Wait, is that fucker who your baby daddy is?” 

She paused and he laughed mockingly, “Fuck, you're a shit picker. You should have never done that to yourself.” That pissed her off so much she nearly blacked out, “And he's who you fucked your skin up for? Damn, you're a stupid girl. If you were accusing me of cheating or being an unfaithful person, at least I'd own up to it if asked and try. I'm not going to lie to you, you'd never be enough for anyone alone but you'd be worth trying for. He's like an unfixed alley cat. I saw him looking at those other girls there at the event. That's why I never even thought about you two even being slightly together. You're in fucking la la land. So just stop it. Stop this bullshit, eat something, come with me back to my apartment. You’ve got plenty of babysitters and time to kill. We can start over, I'll treat you well.” She drank more of her water and then he took her hand, “You gunna say something?”

“Yeah,” she began, “stop fucking touching me.” She pulled her hand back, “This is over, professionally I may have to see you but even then I don't want to even fucking speak to you. My child isn't something I'm just going to leave with my family to make it easier for you to fuck me and with how lazy you are I was fucking you more than anything. I would rather lock myself down to the slight chance of Judah than accept anything you've ever offered me.”

“You made the mistake, Troy, of believing I actually even possessed the ability to care about you. You have given yourself so much credit when in reality I couldn't give a shit less about you. Judah is a damn good father, he's a good person, what you saw is all he wanted you to see and that's not who he is on the inside. Unlike you, he’s a badass motherfucker and an honest man. He works, takes care of us, respects us by not fucking with no side bitches.”

“I don't worry about anything when it comes to him. He's got me and I don't give a damn if he never makes anything out of this other than the arrangement we have because Judah Ackermann is the only man I'd ever get tattooed on me. He’s ride or die. He’s got my daughter in his arms probably as we speak and that's all the fuck I ever need from him.” 

“You're a fuck boy, abusive mentally, and you treat me like absolute shit. If I wanted that I'd stay but clearly I don't because I'm leaving to go back to my home, with that fucker you keep talking about, and I'll gladly stick with him over you or any other piece of shit till the day I expire from this life. And to be honest, I ain't lookin for anything anymore because I found everything I ever wanted in him.” 

She stood up, “and I'm not stupid enough to tell him that. Don't call me again, don't text me, and don't show up anywhere. You don't even know the danger you'd be facing. I'm a Smith, you're nothing. That's the hierarchy and that's what really bothers you. No matter what you'll never be able to bring me down to your level and he's on my level, I think even above mine. You're basically the side bitch in my life.” 

She turned her back and despite his yelling she never looked back and went to her car. She was shaking because Troy had the tendency to get really angry and go on a rampage. She expected him to key her car in a few seconds. Instead she called Erwin, “Hey, what are you up to?” 

“Vati and I were going to the festival near the shop today. Want to come along or?” 

“Are you driving already? Just meet me and I'll get Gaia. I want to hang out at home….is Judah?” 

“Oh princess, we'll meet you but Judah’s running some errands. I'm sure he'll be coming right back.” 

She wiped a tear from her face, “Okay, meet me at Grubstop.” Erwin knew she sounded upset, “Of course, princess. I love you.” 

“I love you, daddy!”

She picked her up and Erwin and Armin inquired about her state and she gave them a little more than normal, “When I was really deep in my postpartum I made a bad choice and this choice won't leave me alone.” 

“A boy?” 

“Yeah, if he didn't get the message today I'll need to talk to you about legal stuff.” Erwin was livid, “It's that serious!? AVIVA!” 

“Or probably just tell Judah.” 

Armin mumbled and Aviva looked over at him, “What?” 

“Nothing…...but you know if you told Judah someone was messing with you...they'd stop messing with you and probably not have any hands or something badass like that. You know...just saying...” 

Armin started daydreaming about his Velvel and how rough and felon he was. He thought his son had taken after him beautifully. His little lion always had a soft spot in his heart. Erwin was angered,disapproving severely, “Armin, he doesn't need another conviction!” Armin cut his eyes over at him, “We're going to have a talk in the car. And to counter that, you'll just get him out of it or Levi will.” 

“We don't need to talk.” 

“Uh, yeah, we do. You're not acting right.” 

Aviva hated when her parents disagreed. 

“I'm going to head home and I'll tell you more later.” She kissed them and made sure Gaia was secured in her seat before heading back to the house.

*  
*  
*

Aviva went by Panera and took Gaia inside to have a quick lunch. She met some of her students and they cooed over her daughter and her long lashes, blue eyes, rosy lips, and curly brown hair. She texted Judah. 

Aviva: Where are you? 

Judah: Chasin’ papers. Coming home in two or three hours. Why? 

Aviva: Gaia and I are eating at Panera and about to head home. She wanted me to text you. 

Judah: Ha, she did? I'm flattered. 

Aviva: She wants to watch the Nightmare Before Christmas. 

Judah: Well, I'll be home around 4 and ready to watch TNBC with my princess and my baby girl. 

She smiled, butterflies in her stomach and Gaia laughed one more time when Kinslee Morgan waved goodbye at her. Kinslee was a good girl, really interesting in her fuck it attitude and resting bitch face. “Kinslee, let me know where you're applying and I'll write you a reference.” 

“Really!? That's so nice, Miss Smith.”

Aviva: Will you cuddle with me? 

Judah: Any time baby girl 

Aviva: You're being so nicies :3 <3 

Judah stared at the message and Zev pushed on his shoulder, “Gisela doesn't need to know this.” He thought about it, “Why are we here?” 

“Because I just want Gisela to have fun.” 

“I meant why are we _here._ ” Zev laughed, “Because I want to tell you some things. Gigi is meeting with Hannahlore for a little bit so I figured we could walk on down here and….talk….like about why you were stalking Aviva today?” 

Judah had gone to Sunday Morning, found a table where he could listen and watch. He'd been ready to kill that piece of shit but her little speech had nearly brought him to tears. It had solidified something he'd wanted to know the entire time they'd been doing this, whatever it was. 

“Do you love my sister?” Zev said drinking some of his coffee, “Because I know she loves you.” Judah told Zev about what happened and he chuckled, “See, she's got it bad. So, is there hope for you to maybe feel the same?” 

“I don't know.”

“Well, I'm going to get a few things from my inheritance. You know, there are two pieces that I wanted to look at with you.” 

“With me?” 

“Yeah, because one of them is very Aviva.” He chuckled and Judah smiled.

*  
*  
*

Aviva ran a few more errands and then it was time to head home and put Gaia down for a real nap. She parked down the driveway since a few cars were up at the front from where people had car pooled. She pulled Gaia’s bow over her ears and headed to the house. 

But there was a moment she felt off, ill almost. She sensed something and when she looked around she grew fearful. Something was near her, something that was polar everything she was. Gaia started to fuss and she knew she could feel it too. Then the press of cool metal at the back of her head.

*  
*  
*

He led her inside and it was all a flash of traumatizing events.

He wanted Gaia. 

She was sobbing, holding Gaia to her. 

She'd do anything to just have him leave her alone and not take her baby. 

He beat her, tried to pry her from her. 

Aviva was a ball of terror. 

She clawed him, the gun smashed into her face but she had only one chance and she took it. 

She made it to the panic room and slid Gaia as gently and quickly as she could on her blanket on the floor, allowing a brief second to see she stayed facing up, swaddled still, and then she slammed the door locking it. 

He was livid as he beat her, demanded she open the door. 

He threatened to shoot her but she'd done exactly what she had to do and now she had to try and get help or lead him away from the house. 

She kicked him hard, tried to run down the stairs but he pushed her hoping she break her neck or something that would paralyze her. 

She toppled down.

_Bam, bam, bam, bam…_

She did something to her leg and her hip. 

But she scrambled out the door and through the trees towards the barn. 

She screamed and screamed but she soon realized everyone must still be gone or have gone somewhere. /p>

He followed her tracks because he needed her to open the room.

He needed her for other reasons.

He caught her and she was overcome by the sheer weight of him, “Little bitch, I’m going to make you suffer for that.” 

She was sobbing, screaming, fingers in the cool soft earth as he drug her. She turned around and tried everything her vati and daddy had ever taught her about self defense. She went back into her old way, into who she was in Russia. She put up a commendable fight but he was too much and she was too distraught thinking about Gaia in that room. 

_What if she unswaddled herself and rolled over and suffocated? What if no one found her? What if, what if, what if…._

He hit her with the back of the gun, right in her temple, and the world went black.

*  
*  
*

Gisela felt chill and then she knew something was happening. She picked her phone up and called Judah, “Where are you?” Judah was at Armin’s shop picking up some stuff for Armin and Erwin since they were at the festival and he was riding by anyway, “I’m at the shop.”

“GO HOME.”

“WHY?”

“The thing, the woods, what I told you, it wasn't me. I don’t know this for sure but I think it was Aviva. We’re on our way, but go.” 

He slammed the phone in his pocket, ran to the car and started towards the house.

Gisela called Erwin and Armin and luckily they were almost to the house anyway. They were gritting their teeth awaiting whatever they would find.

*  
*  
*

She was cold, really cold. Her body was numb and felt heavy like lead. She could only see yellows and greens, pale beige and olive. It was blurry, the world was a blur and when she tried to breathe it burned the inside of her lungs. Sticks and twigs were stuck to her body, in her hair, her legs cut up. One was broken for sure. She might have a cracked tooth. Her skull was strange. It was like her temple wasn’t even there and her eye socket felt like it rattled.

Aviva rolled over on her stomach, crawled through the damp layers of mud and leaves. She made it up on her knees, then on her legs, she hopped, attempted to run in some strange skeletal way. She wanted her child, she wanted her and to leave this place. 

She got to the house and quietly tried to listen for him before making it up the stairs. She stopped in Levi and Eren’s room and grabbed a knife. She didn’t have the passwords to the gun safe and she was too shaky to use one. Her head throbbed, her mind wasn’t as sharp as it should be. She thought she was dying.

He was there before the door and when he saw her he grinned. She moved as fast as she could towards him. She cut his face, deep. He was choking her, “open this door, bitch.” She slashed him again, expertly; just like Levi had showed her. He hissed as the metal cut his stomach. 

“If you open the door, I’ll let you live. I’m supposed to bring both of you back but I don’t fucking have time for a troublesome bitch like you!” He sat back, grabbed the gun and cocked it in her face. She was sobbing, pitifully. “Open it.” 

“No….No!” He slapped her, more beatings. “You know what? I bet there’s a fingerprint reader on this.” She sobbed harder knowing it was true. He found it and picked her up.

She flailed around, screaming, “DO IT OR I’LL JUST CUT THE FUCKING FINGER OFF.” He slammed her into the wall, knocking her unconscious for a few seconds. Her finger against the pad, the door opened and Gaia was safely asleep swaddled on the floor. He tossed her inside and picked Gaia up. 

She was on her knees, tears like a torrential rush, mouth swollen, blood on her face, she looked frightening, “No!” It was a mourner’s lament, “Not my baby! Not my baby, please give me my baby.” She begged him as he smiled more, “You know what?” He walked over to files and started to grab up information, particularly on the serum, “I should give you a taste of the pain you gave me.” Blood dripped on the floor from his face and stomach wound. 

He held Gaia in his arm and once he had the information and a copy of the serum in his backpack he turned to her smiling again, “As long as she’s alive it doesn’t matter what state I bring her back in. I should cut up her pretty little face like you did mine.” He produced a knife and she screamed louder than she ever thought possible, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Please! PLEASE NO!”

“In fact, if I have you, maybe I don’t even need her at all. I should just kill her. You’re much easier to handle in this state than a small infant. Either way, I’m thinking about just killing the baby after all the trouble.” Gaia started to cry and he looked annoyed.

Aviva was on her knees, “Please,” she begged tragically, “please let me hold my baby. She’s upset. Please….please give her to me.” 

“You want to hold your baby.” 

“Yes.” She closed her eyes, overcome with terror and sorrow, “Please let me hold my little girl.” She whispered and opened her eyes to see him staring, “No.” He held the knife at her cheek and a drop of blood appeared, “NOOOOO!” Aviva screeched and then there was the sound of the door slamming.

It was so quick.

He dropped Gaia.

Aviva moved forward to catch her as she screamed and cried. 

He disappeared and Aviva clutched Gaia to her, looking at the cut on her face, distraught, her body convulsing, her body overexerted. 

Her hands ran over Gaia and she kept her pinned to her. 

When Armin got to her he couldn’t see Gaia well enough to understand whose blood belonged to whom. 

Armin’s knee collided with the tile floor harshly as he moved to take her into his arms. Aviva was collapsing.

Erwin appeared, “I can’t find him.” He was stunned by the sight of his daughter and then Judah was there, face pale, eyes wide. 

She was manic, she would let anyone touch Gaia. 

Judah was there for the length of a breath. His eyes caught sight of the man on the cameras.

Erwin pushed him, “GO! GO! WE’VE GOT THEM!”

He was torn. The look of Aviva covered in blood. Her face disfigured, partially crushed, black and blue. She didn’t look like she’d live.

Then his phone rang and he was gone.

*  
*  
*

_“The barn, Judah. I feel it.”_

“I feel it, too.” 

“Should I meet you?” 

“No….what I’m going to do to him.” 

“I should come.” 

“I won’t stop.” 

“I won’t make you….”

_“I want his blood. I want to taste it.”_

*  
*  
*

Judah walked in a semicircle around him. 

He’d found him, ready to leave and he’d enjoyed ever second of bone crushing, teeth cracking, muscle tearing, sinew cutting moment. 

Gisela was leaned against the table. Zev had left to attend to Aviva and promised not to tell where they were. 

Nearly two hours of torture later he had what he needed from him. 

Gisela was a master interrogator and Judah a sadistic serial killer. 

He dismembered him with surgeon’s precision while he lived. 

He reduced him to mush, sacks that easily could be removed. 

Judah was blood thirsty and Gisela needed to pull him back, “Aviva needs you.” She sat on the table and pulled him between her legs. Her hands held his face close to hers, “You did right by her and Gaia.” She kissed him, whispering, “But, now it’s time to come on back, Jude.”

He turned to her, pupils dilated, “Did you know Aba’s uncle Kenny was called Kenny the Ripper?” She paused, “I did not.” 

“He was a serial killer.” 

Gisela paused again, “Let me guess, Judah was his middle name.” 

“Yeah.” 

“I see. Well, genetics are an interesting thing. Now, I understand better Aba’s perspective.” 

“Do you hate me?” 

“I can’t. I am not capable of hating you.” 

“You know I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” 

“You know I can’t….I need you. I _need_ you.” 

“You complete me. But, we’ve got to go back to the house and we’ve got to tell them what we know.” 

“This has changed me.” 

He looked at her, “I am changed. I will never let her out of my sight.” 

“Gaia won’t remember.” 

“Aviva, I will never let _her_ out of my sight. Seeing her like that on the floor, seeing her like that….her voice, the way she clutched Gaia...he cut my child in front of her mother. She is her _mother._ She _lived_ inside of her! I treat Gaia like you, G. I never worry when you’re with Zev because he keeps you in his sights like I would. But this has changed me. I want us together. I want to know where you all are, what you’re doing, why and with whom.” 

He pulled his hair, “I will go insane with this controlling tendency. I am going to suffocate. Nothing will ever make you tolerate the police state I will run.” 

Gisela listened really listened, “Let me put this to rest: You can control us just like Aba does. Because, Aba knows that he can only control if the others allow him. I allow you control, I give you what you need because I need it, too. I always tell you where and why and with whom. Zev knows this. He accepts this. He lets you do it your way and functions within it like daddy does. You and Zev, you work together. Aviva just wants to be cared for like me. She wants that, craves it. She wants love, structure, safety. She’ll be fine in an arrangement like that. But, Judah, you cannot ever really control us. I’m different, I know. But, Zev and Aviva are not us and they are not pawns or property. When Jean and Marco moved out Aba had a hard time from what baba told me. That’s why they’re in the back yard. Zad was asked to stay because aba wanted him close to daddy. Maxim and Ilya lived with Marco and Jean until aba knew they were thinking of leaving and he had their home built. He’s tried for years to get David and Mikasa to live with us. He wants these things but he can’t make people do them and he doesn’t push it when they say no. You think he didn’t stay on Hanji?” 

“I get it. I really do.” 

“It wouldn’t hurt to sort out your feelings about Aviva, either.”

He blinked, “I believe my feelings are very clear now.” 

Gisela moved to embrace him, nuzzling her nose into her neck, “But I’ll always be your other half?” 

“Always and forever.” 

“We’re going to destroy them.”

*  
*  
*

Levi and Eren were having a hard time coming to grips with it all. Armin had Gaia who was okay besides cut. Levi used a small dose of the serum for the IDF and the cut began to heal without scarring much more quickly than if her body had done it naturally.She was able to self heal but looking at that cut was sending them all into a panic.

Aviva was immidiatly looked at and the ambulance called. She had internal bleeding, broken bones, her face was caved in on one side. Somehow, she stayed concious and Levi was thankful because he was afraid if she slept she’d die.

Aviva begged and pleaded that Armin could hold her but no one else. Armin took Gaia and when Judah appeared he was once again pale and numb. He looked at her and Levi came over with the serum and injected her. She wanted Gaia and to be held. Judah offered but she wanted Armin. Erwin held his tongue and covered his mouth about whys and who and where.

They took her to the hospital and into surgery.

*

Eren sat on the edge of the bed and laid his hand on her leg trying to soothe her. Judah and Erwin came into the hallway where Zev was speaking to Gisela in hushed whispers, “She...by all means should be dead. She has a fractured skull, all of her wounds are defensive, her leg is broken in three places, her hip has hairline fractures, she has broken teeth, her jaw bruised and almost fractured. She passed out when her temple was smashed in and her eye socket is fractured too. She has internal bleeding. I have to keep an eye on her and hope the serum works like it should. She is functioning on adrenaline and emotion. I need you to pick something up for me at the pharmacy on campus, actually.” Levi wrote a list, “Hanji’s there, just hand it to her and yeah…”

Judah gagged, nearly vomiting. Erwin was robotic, “Judah can ride with me. Zev got her to...you know…and Judah can drive if I can’t.” Judah nodded and walked out with Erwin while Gisela stared, “Call me if you need me.”She reached out and took Judah’s hand lightly as he walked by, “I love you.” “I love you, G.”

“Zev.” Erwin said suddenly, “You get the story from your sister. You take care of her.” He stared and Zev nodded, “I understand.” Erwin took Judah to his car to drive to the pharmacy.

*  
*  
*

In the car Judah looked out the window while they drove in silence. He was getting more and more upset, “It’s not fair.” He said barely above a whisper. Erwin’s jaw was tight, “What?” 

“This...that it happened.” 

“Nothing is ever fair.” 

“No! It’s not _FAIR_ that it happened to _HER._ ” He was crying, wiping his face but it was useless, “Not her, not Aviva.” He turned away, sobbing, “I’m so….my little girl she was….oh god.”

Erwin pulled into the parking lot and reached over to try and comfort him. Judah was hyperventilating and Erwin knew this was just like Levi’s so he held him, pulled him over the consol. He remembered when Judah was small and would cuddle with him begrudgingly. He’d fall asleep in his lap and sometimes he’d tell him things that made Erwin chuckle. 

Judah screamed and Erwin held him tighter, “I ALMOST LOST HER AND HER MOTHER! HE HURT HER IN FRONT OF HER! Oh God, it’s not fair. It’s not FAIR. She’s a GOOD MOTHER! She’ll never get over it, she’s such a good mother, it’ll never...she’ll always think about it. my God, I’m so angry. I’m so FUCKING ANGRY! WHY!? WHY DON’T I EVER GET AN ANSWER WHEN I ASK?!” Erwin broke down too, burying his nose in the to of Judah’s hair, “I don’t know, Judah. God doesn’t speak to me either.” Judah lamented, “He doesn’t speak to anyone.”

*  
*  
*

They got the supplies and Hanji was coming over when she got off. They wre told Aviva would be able to return home sometime tomorrow. They rode on in silence till Erwin pulled over, “Why did you say those things to her?” Judah had an ice pack on his eyes, “Because I didn’t want her to care about me. I wanted her to hate me.”

“Why?” “Because I’m not good enough for her. Because I want to hurt her before she hurts me. Because she makes me do things I’d never ever think of doing any other time. Because she wasn’t making sense and she doesn’t always say what she means and she hides herself and she doesn’t take care of herself and I just want her to do those things….” He inhaled shakily, “Because I know she understands that when I say those things I don’t mean them. I’m just shit with words and I’m jealous and hungry.” 

Erwin was curious, “Hungry for what?” 

“Blood,” he said simply, “and for her. I’m alive when she’s fighting me. I’m alive when she’s yelling at me. I’m alive when she’s lying to me. I’m alive when I’m fucking her.” 

He wiped his face, “And she made Gaia, she made something so perfect because she’s perfect. I hungry for everything I’m not; perfection is as good as it gets. Gaia and Aviva together makes me feel alive. I only ever feel that way with Gisela. So, when she asks me things or worries about me it upsets me. I told her not to worry about anything, to let me do anything and everything. I didn’t understand her. She hates me.”

“Why did she care? I lost myself because that’s what a piece of shit like me does. I lose it, fuck it all up. But she’s strong, she’s much stronger than me. She manages to be herself and to be the perfect mother. She loves Gaia like you love her, like Zev, Yoni, and Tuvia. Like how vati loves them and us. How aba and baba love Nikko, Ezra, and Gisela. I don’t know why any of you love me and maybe I want to see if I can learn from her? I don’t know. But, I’ve never wanted to be a father, a husband, nothing to anyone. Never and then I find myself here.”

“What’s different?”

“It was her.”

“Do you love my daughter?” Erwin said softly. Judah put the ice back on his face, “Why do people keep asking me that question? Can we please just go home.”

Erwin stared, “I want an answer.” Judah looked at him, “Fuck you.”

*  
*  
*

Aviva had nothing but fevered healing, steam and stinging. Erwin held her to his chest while Judah sat with Armin who still held Gaia, “V-vati?” 

“Yes, baby?” 

“Y-y-ou can give her to him. He's okay.” 

Armin sighed in relief and passed Gaia to an emotional Judah. He'd not asked because he knew she was so upset. Armin looked at him and was touched that he'd forgone his own wants in order to try and help her. He stroked Judah’s face as he held his little girl and inspected her. 

Gaia was smiling and laughed. Judah wiped his eyes and looked over at her, “Aviva, she's got the nerve to be happy!” He stood up walked to the bed and she eyed him, “Look at that face!” She did and she cried harder, “You blame me.” He looked devastated she'd say that. 

He moved closer, “No,, his voice low, stern, honest, “didn’t you hear aba? You should be dead and somehow you kept fighting. I am not anything but in awe of you.” He started to get upset again, “You're amazing, Aviva. You saved our little girl by doing everything you did. HaShem knows that. You should know that.” She buried her face in Erwin's chest and they remained like that, tears, sobs, and reassurances for another few hours. David and Hanji had prescriptions for her and once the serum was finished she started them and fell asleep. 

*****

Judah stayed with her the entire time with Gaia. They’d returned home where she was put in bed. She would get so upset but he'd be there to try and comfort her. Four days she healed and slept. On and off, she'd wake in his arms, Gaia on her tongue. He'd tell her she was with Armin and then he put her in the cosleeper they still had and she could roll over and see her right there. 

“She should be between us.” 

“She's fine right there, baby girl. She's with her mommy and sleeping just beautifully.” 

“But if she was between us she'd be safer.” 

“How so?” 

“She'd be closer to you.” he wiped her bangs to the side, “But you'd be further away and Aviva, baby, I can get to her just fine. No one is going to come in here and fuck with me or you or her. Not on my watch.” 

He kissed her forehead, “Go to sleep, baby. Everyone in the house is watching out for us too.” She was shaking and it made him livid.

Judah barely slept those first few days and he never left her. Gisela told them that the man was one of Jeeter’s brothers and that most of the people they were after were. They wanted to take Gaia because she’s the only child that has both pieces of the coordinate and the natural healing ability of the serum.

They had planned to take Both Gaia and Aviva and for what they all knew too well. The Reiss family was now in the most danger they’d ever been in. There was something inside of this generation that could sense one another. They had become the hunters of them and Gaia was the ultimate hunter. She was immune because Eren’s genes made her create the antidote to whatever awakes the titan within, she had the ability to change things with the coordinate, and she was a self healing serum herself. Aviva was the daughter of the king, a Reiss, and a holder of part of the coordinate powers. 

They’d hoped to use her as ransom or kidnap others in the family by using her as bait. It would have been a very bleak and horrendous future because it was clear she would have been kept separate from Gaia no matter what. Gaia would have never known her, never known anything about her life before she was taken. 

Judah and Gisela were particularly hated and well known among the final Reiss generation for their targeted attacks on them and their certain brand of interrogation. Zev was a target as well.

Erwin and Armin started to map out what they really thought was going on in regards to the compound in Arkansas. But, now that gaia was alive, well, that complicated things a lot more. 

Aviva was left alone for the next week as they all planned and decided on what to do. Gisela and Zev were able to convince them that the man was dead and gone and they left the details alone.

Levi checked on Judah who often forgot to take care of himself in order to stay with Aviva and Gaia. He also found him wasted when she was awake and with Gisela. One night Levi was truly worried about him as he looked at the pool in the backyard mumbling in Yiddish about what drowning must feel like.

In an odd turn, he moved closer to Levi and cuddled up to him, “If it had been Baba and I…..what would you have done?” 

“Kill him…..slowly.” 

“What about afterwards…..what do I do now?” 

“You killed him?” 

“I killed him and I loved every second of it. I am a bad man, aba….I'm not good for her. I'm not good for Gaia.” 

looked at him, “I can honestly say, I think you're exactly what they need.” Judah snorted, “You used to tell baba you wished you were more like daddy. I understand that now. I wish I was more like Zev. He gets tortured, he goes through emotional hell, he’s always been at the mercy of you and his health. But he smiles, he laughs, he tells jokes to make others smile. He looks at Gisela like she's a...like how daddy does vati, like they're just these magical nymphs that will disappear if he looks away. He's in love with everyone and they're in love with him. Children flock to him. He's….just the best.”

“I think he's the best and have since I could remember. I used to be jealous, really jealous. Now, I'm still jealous but I just wish I could be more like him. I wish that because I want to be for them what he is to us.”

Levi ran his fingers through Judah’s hair, “Erwin told me about your breakdown in the car the other day.” 

“He tells you everything.” 

“Yes, he does.” 

“Why are you bringing it up?” 

“Because we fight a lot about you and Aviva and have since you were really little. It's been an issue between us almost 22 years.” Judah groaned, “See! I'M POISON!” Levi rolled his eyes, “Stop sounding like baba. We just….Zev is better than Erwin. Zev is much more tolerant and has that side of Armin that is controlled and doesn't want to ruin anyone's good time or bother anyone.”

“Zev has Zadkiel’s wild streak in regards to he can really raise hell and do things Erwin might have at least shied away from at first. But, he has Erwin's manipulation skills. He can make others sacrifice and we never really know what's going on in his mind. Perhaps, Gisela does but I'd say not since he tricked her before. Perhaps, they are matched like Erwin and I? I pity them then, if that is the case.” 

“Why?” 

“Because this is a tiring thing. This is all about power. Hopefully, Gisela will come out on top. I would wager that, like I am to Ewin, she is the source of his power. As long as she is happy, taken care of, and the boss of him I don't care.” They both chuckled a bit at that. 

*********

**A few weeks later.**

She dropped her dance bag on the floor, face flushed red, covered in sweat. She was listless from practice, “What are you doing?” Her voice was breathy and labored. 

Judah was paused at the table, caught red handed, “Why are you down here?” She looked around, “Oh HaShem…. JUDAH!” He cringed, “Stop.” 

“JUDAH THIS IS HOW YOU DO WHAT YOU DO!?” 

Her tone unsettled him, he wanted to lash out, “Bit-,” he bit it back, “Baby girl, stop. Listen, it's what we do.” 

“Tell aba.” 

“What!? NO!” 

“Tell aba or I will.” 

“Aviva why!?” 

“Because he'd need to know…” 

Judah walked closer to her, “Do tell what the rational is in your little mind?” 

“Because, Judah, this is amazing. This is also vindication…” >{?He looked at her, words not there for him to grab. She looked around slowly, her eyes wide and probing.

<  
p> “Judah….” She turned around, “You're really something, you know that? I know this is the kind of thing that other people would maybe hate or be afraid of but me, well, I've never felt more protected or secure. I'd hate to be your enemy.”

He cleared his throat, “You are. So watch out.” 

She offered a small smile and his entire body felt like it was covered with pins and needles.

*******

“Stop squirming!” Gaia rolled and moved and tried to fight his attempts of dressing her after changing her. He leaned over her. She smiled putting her hand up to his mouth. He opened it and ate it. She giggled loudly as he smiled around her little hand. Aviva was due home soon so he needed to make this quick. He went into the joint office where Erwin, Armin, Levi, and Eren sat and Zev was already talking excitedly, nervously, to them. 

*  
*  
*

”And I'm here to ask for your blessings to ask Aviva to marry me.” Erwin stared a hole through him while Armin’s face was still hidden and covered with tears. 

Levi looked at him and Eren slowly moved out of his chair, “This…..is too much for us. This is the best day of our lives.” Armin slammed his hands down in his lap, face red, lips shaking, “I know! THIS IS AMAZING! You have my blessing, Judah. I don't know what she'll say because Aviva, as you know, is Aviva. But, I would love to legally call you son.” 

Erwin was still quiet and Levi braced himself, “Do you love my daughter?” Judah kept his gaze, “I already answered that in the car after the attack.” 

“Do you swear to never hit her or yell at her? You promise to never mistreat her or make any of her issues worse? Are you sure you can provide for her and her lifestyle? You're not going to hurt her?”

Levi bit his tongue but not enough, “Judah would never hit a woman and you know that. She's hit him plenty of times. It's not right for either of them. Apparently, it's just my son you think is capable of doing wrong. TCH FUCK OFF.” 

Erwin gripped his slacks over his knees, “I said it because I would have asked anyone, Lee!”

Erwin looked down at the floor, “I would have asked, but I would only have believed you, Judah. She’s never been happier than since you two had Gaia and then after you came home and got rid of Charles, don't think we didn't know, Max and Ilya tell us all about you two, she was fully committed to keeping you involved and happy. She started looking at her postpartum issues, made changes in her eating, she sometimes talked about you in her sleep. She's always been drawn to you in a way. You too.”

“I guess I was always scared I'd be wrong and you two wouldn't end up happy but rather destroy one another and that would have hurt my relationship with Levi. I want you two to be happy. I think you can make sure that you are. You provide damn good for her. You take care of your daughter like Levi did of you. You're not so cranky around her either. It's like you two are at peace with the discord you create. She's not perfect, we know. But she's perfectly imperfect and we adore her.”

Eren looked over at him, taking Levi's hand, “You really love her?” Judah was hot. Erwin looked at him, “He dances around saying it.” Levi frowned, “It's a simple question someone who is thinking about marriage could answer!”

Armin looked at a squirming Judah, “I won't say it, stop pushing.” Armin laughed, he smiled and so did Zev, both were cackling, “Leave him alone,” Armin began, “he just hasn't told her those words yet and he's,” Zev cut in, “Sentimental like aba and won't tell us till he tells her.” Levi blushed and Eren looked over, “Wow, how very Levi.”

*

Judah held Gaia in his arms as Zev opened the safe, “Gaika, can you keep a secret?” She cooed and smiled at him and he melted, “Oh, Judah, I love her. I want one. Oh, God. I love her.” Judah grinned kissing her cheeks, “Yeah, she’s perfect.” Zev pinched her little legs, “The most perfect thing to ever exist.” Judah kissed her more, “Sometimes I think maybe this is the one thing other than Gigi that I haven’t fucked up.” 


	169. Ana Bekoach Prt 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is only a little over 21,000 because it's part 1. I can't even imagine trying to read it all as one. This is like, crazy important for plots in the end of the fic and I just felt bad taking so long to post. Life is kicking me in the gutter! Thank you for reading and being amazing.
> 
> This is the song that the chapter is named after if anyone wants to listen to it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhaFiq8NfyE

[Gisela](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/af/f6/ca/aff6cae402ed294d08c7db62366fdbc3.jpg) and [Zev](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/29/51/fc/2951fc2de0473b23a3aa107a338f14c5.jpg)

Rabbi Lubavitch sat behind his heavy Torah scroll when Zev sat twisting his kippah in his hands, “Are you thinking about something?” He asked and Zev squirmed, “I want to know how the Torah says I should pick a wife.” Berkovich was their main Rabbi but he wasn't about to go to him with this. Lubavitch had seen him on his first day of day school and took him aside when he couldn't go out into the bright sun and read him all of the wonderful words of Torah. He explained that his skin was a curse but also a sign of something that he was going to do and be a part of, “Never lose focus on God’s will, Zev.”

Zev didn’t let his words go and he studied with him instead of Berkovich. He liked his strong conviction to what the Torah said and he didn’t use the Talmud as a way to make excuses in hard passages. When Zev learned what a Karaite was he thought he might be one, “Me?! A HERETIC?!” “No,” he was scared he'd offended him, “you just seem to not like Talmud.” “That doesn't mean I reject it. But when teaching someone like you I am going to tell the hard truth, not the interpretation.” “Why?” “Because you're a hard truth. You've got all the potential in the world to become a great rabbi.” “I don't know. I want to serve in the IDF and live in Israel.” “That place is an abomination! ZEV, ONLY THE MESSIAH COULD CREATE ISRAEL ANEW! What delusions your house believes. It should be destroyed.”

When he started to listen to how Berkovitch described Israel he felt conflicted. Lubavitch used different words. His tongue was like iron, his words like fists, his eyes burned. Berkovitch’s tongue was a caress, his words gentle and slow like when vati would read to him when he was sick, and eyes were always squinted due to smiling. His daughters were nice. He was nice. But, he never talked about the reasons God created him with albinism or what it meant. Zev was always looking for meaning. Yes, there was the scientific that his aba always took the time to explain in detail but what was the larger meaning? His sight was saved but sometimes he couldn’t hear very well. His skin wasn’t healed or changed. What was he suppose to learn?

Lubavitch taught him about morality and the importance of deliverance. He taught him about the traditions of the eastern orthodox. He showed him that Sabbath was really the most important day of the week and Zev wanted an observant home when he grew up. He wanted a wife, children, “You don’t need to do that.” Zev stopped speaking of his dreams, “Why?” “Because you’re not meant for that. You’re going to lead a pious life and you wouldn’t want to pass on the ailments you have. According to law, you’re excused from marriage. You’re going to do great things, Zev. You’re going to do important things.”

Now he sat nervously twisting his kippah and tried to open the conversation again, “But, if I was looking for a wife. How would I find one when I get older?” Lubavitch sighed, “She would need to be a woman of valor. Are you asking who's kosher?” 

“Yes.” 

“A Jewish woman who is pious and good.” 

“So, any Jewish woman?” 

“Preferably orthodox, Zev. I’d never consider those reform or reconstructionist, or whatever else they call themselves real Jews.” 

“But, my family…” 

“Are only saved by blood.” 

Zev paused and then asked what he wanted to, “What about one of the girls I grew up with?” 

“No.” 

“Why?” 

“Because you lived with them. A man cannot marry a woman he grew up with as a sister. She is forbidden to him. Their blood will be upon them. It is not natural. So, for example, Gisela or Lilly cannot marry you. Lilly may yet reveal herself a Christian and thus, she’s too much a risk anyway. But, Gisela grew up attached to you and it would be like you marrying Aviva. It’s wrong. Even the thought makes me sick. It should make you sick. It makes HaShem sick.” He spat a few times to express his disgust further and Zev felt his heart sink.

*********

She moved like silk through fingers and her voice was what angels must sound like. She came off the stage, sweating, drink in hand and he handed her a towel, “Thanks. How was it?” 

He smiled, “Perfect.” 

“There’s no such thing as perfect. I could do better.” 

“You’re ridiculous.” 

“Wanna get high?” 

He looked at her and thought about it, “Actually, yeah. But, you don’t need to do that while your heart is already beating so fast.” 

She laughed, “I wanna be bad today.” He smirked, “I can think of a few things.” 

He took her to the bar where live music played, “The Nick.” It was underground and dirty. Judah and Nikko came with them. She had a wild streak in her like some sort of tigress. She was 15 and she had no business being there but hell, she was graduating ahead of schedule, she was with them, what could go wrong? Judah punched a man who catcalled her. Well, that could go wrong. It’s not like Zev didn’t like a good fight either. He joined in and Judah smiled as they fought a gang of his friends before being sprayed into submission by a water hose.

Punk rock coursing through their veins, bottles thrown against the wall, a water hose sprayed into the crowed, her dance clothes stuck to her and Nikko gave her his jacket because he knew she’d be cold. 

Nikko had shaved his hair into a mohawk to the shock of the entire family. He was so fucking quiet all the time, so reserved, safe, and boring. That was what someone saw who didn’t know him. Judah and Nikko and even Gisela were all cut from the same cloth of Levi. She was like his sister. 

So, why did he take her up against him while they danced and moved with her like she wasn’t? Maybe it was because she gave him a thrill when she bit her lip and grinned coyly. She could be cruel, too.

Her hands ran trails around his side and stomach and they made his lower stomach clench. She spewed Goethe and Nietzsche like some people spewed prime time TV shows. She hated Nietzsche to be honest. He was the father of Nazism. All of her interests were in linguistics, in Jewish history, in politics. He liked to watch her lose herself in the music. 

Nikko tapped him on the shoulder, “Let’s smoke?” He nodded and Judah moved closer to her like they knew he would. She took his hand and pulled him to middle of the mosh pit. She laughed like God.

Zev sat down, “Nikko look over there?’ He pointed at a guy with a tattoo, it was balloons, one was red. “Ninety-nine air balloons…” Zev cackled and Nikko smiled, “You always have jokes.” Zev smiled, “Without me you’d all die. You all have such sour humor.” Nikko nodded, “Pacifist humor, Mila said.” Zev leaned towards him, “You and Mila, that would be,” Nikko gave him a shove, “Shush!” “a match made by a schaedchen.”

Zev started singing loudly, “Matchmaker make me a match,” Nikko had some alcohol in him and he was feeling feisty, “You have your eye on my sister, Zev.” He went cold, “I have an eye on her safety, Nikko. Nothing else.” Nikko smirked at the nerve he hit, “It’s okay if you do.” 

“No, she’s like a sister. I think that’s gross. I don’t like her like that.” 

Nikko hummed, “Okay, but if you did, it would be okay.” Zev finished his cigarette, “You think she’ll be okay in France?” Nikko smiled, “Yeah, I’ll be there.” ********************** 

“Zeeeeev hold still.” Aviva giggled while Gisela tried to apply fake lashes to his eyes, “You lost a bet and this is the punishment, Zev. Take it with honor.” Zev smiled, “Shut up!” Gisela turned to the camera, “Say hello to our viewers, Zev.” She waved and he snorted, “You youtubers and your challenges and make up tutorials.” Aviva and Gisela ran a youtube channel in German, Russian, and Yiddish. 

Gisela smiled, “Let’s do lips next.” She started to pencil them in, “My lips are gorgeous. What could you possibly be drawing?” “New ones. Your lips aren’t that great.” Zev laughed sharply, “OW YOU HURT ME!” She laughed, “Wanna do another video?” 

“When?” 

“After this one?” 

Aviva was speaking to the camera and Zev shrugged, “With just you?” She nodded, “It will be a Zev and Gisela video.” 

“What’s that like?” 

“We're going to make the largest Keks (cookie) in the world.” 

“You know me so well.”

********************

Zev and Gisela stood behind the counter, “I can’t open all of the cookies!” Gisela couldn’t get the plastic covers open and Zev was crunching the cookies in the pot, “Gigi, I can’t help!” His face was red from laughter, “WHY ARE YOU SO WEAK!?” She doubled over, “I don’t know! I thought I was strong. JUDAH!” Zev rolled his eyes, “Juuuudah, ich brauch’ hilfe!” (I need help) He imitated her and she slapped him hard as he cackled. Judah appeared, sour look on his face, “I hate being on these videos.” He said while opening the cookie packets for her.

She smiled, “Because all the viewers leave comments about how hot you are.” She kissed him and leaned her head on his shoulder. He snorted, “How many of these?” 

“Ummm twenty more.” 

He gave her an exasperated face of disbelief, “Heilige Scheisse, Giselaka! That’s what?” 

“30,000 CALORIES! 6 KG!” 

Zev said with fervor and Judah groaned, “I can’t.” Gisela jumped up and down as they started focusing on crushing the cookies. “Now we add coco.” Judah and Zev were pouring the cookies inside of the pots and as she added the cream there were both taking some and trying it. Judah sucked it off his finger nodding, “It’s good, Gigi.” Zev smiled, “Let’s do this shit.”

They poured it out on four baking sheets and made it into a circle. They let it cook and then they started to eat some for the camera, “It tastes like a giant chocolate cookie.” Judah said plainly as Gisela laughed, “How are we going to eat this?” 

“We should give it away. We can give it away.” 

Zev said with a smile as he shoved more into his mouth. Gisela snorted, “Who’s going to take the world’s largest Keks?” Judah rolled his eyes, “The poor.” 

“But we can’t take it like this?” They all three looked at the cookie in front of them.

*****************

Judah and Gisela were too young to drive so Zev did. “How many is there?” He said laughing as Gisela tried to hold them all in her lap, “LIKE AT LEAST 40!” They had put the pieces of the cookie into ziplock bags and were taking them to the temple to donate them. Judah sat in the back, arms crossed, “Why the fuck did you even come?” 

Aviva turned to him with a wicked sneer, “Because they invited me you piece of shit.” Gisela turned around, “No...no fighting.” Zev saw her pout and reached over putting his finger in her ear, “Don’t mind them.” She took his hand and her heart fluttered, “Don’t tell me what to do, old man.” 

“I’m only three years older.” 

“Still...I’m the boss.” 

He chuckled, “Yes, yes you are.”

*********************

Zev jumped onto the bed crushing Aviva and Gisela, “EIEIEIEIEEIEIEIEI! I’M THE GOTHS AND I SHALL DESTROY YOU ROMAN GODDESSES!” Aviva clutched her knee, “OWWWW! ZEV THAT HURT!” Gisela made no sound or movement and Aviva panicked, “YOU HURT GISELA!” Zev’s face blanched, “No...no I…” his voice was laced with concern and then suddenly from beneath the covers she sprung, “EIEIEIEIEIE I AM THE LOST TRIBE AND I WILL REWRITE HISTORY!” 

She clutched onto Zev rolling with him off the bed with a thud. She was on top of him and he decided to fight dirty tickling her till she nearly peed on herself, “I GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM!” 

“NEVER! YOU’LL DISGRACE YOURSELF RIGHT HERE!” 

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT ON THE RUG! YOU’RE SO MEAN!” 

“I AM A WARRIOR.” 

She looked at him and then licked his face. He was so caught off guard he let her go, “Did you just!?” He stood up and she ran on her hands and knees towards the bathroom while Aviva cackled and then attacked him with her stuffed animals and sharp nails. “She’s so fucking clever!” Aviva said kissing his cheek after they fought. Gisela appeared shortly after, “I really did pee a little.” Aviva laughed shortly, “I did, too. It’s cool.”

Zev was flushed red when Eren came inside, “DINNER! I’VE BEEN CALLING FOR DAYS NOW AND I THOUGHT YOU HAD ALL PERISHED FROM STARVATION!” They all rolled their eyes internally, “BABA!” Eren raised an eyebrow, “Where’s Judah?” They didn’t know. Eren sighed, “You know he’s in trouble still.” Gisela nodded, “I’m sure he’s in our room, baba.” Zev grabbed her pulling her down where Aviva and he were, “I’ll go.” 

“Noooooo he’s my brother.” 

“He’s my brother too, hene ma tov, Giselaka.” 

She slapped him, “I’ll go.”

She got up and went to their room. Sure enough he was in the shower. She pulled out a change of clothes and held them in her arms as she looked around the room she knew so well. They’d shared a room since they were born and it just made sense. She didn’t want to sleep alone and they had one bed, one room, one everything. Baba and Aba wanted them to separate but why should they? 

Judah turned the water off and she stepped into the bathroom holding the clothes, “It’s dinner time.” He got out with the towel and took the clothes nodding. She leaned against the counter and then he walked over, kissed her on the cheek, and nuzzled his face into her neck, “I love you, G.” She smiled, “I love you, Jude.”

They went downstairs and he held her hand under the table while daddy, vati, baba, and aba made over them all and fed them till they were full and ready to pop. Vati walked by Judah and leaned over kissing his cheek, “How handsome you get every day.” He ran his hands through Judah’s hair and he blushed. Judah had always love vati and Gisela smiled. Erwin leaned back in his chair, “Yes, such a beauty but needs to work on his temper.” He gave him a pointed look and Levi looked over at him fiercely, “We’ve already talked about it.” He warned Erwin with his tone and Erwin sighed, “You know I love you, Judah? Right?” Judah nodded.

Gisela laid her head on his shoulder, “Daddy, do you love me?” She said to move the conversation along. he smiled brightly, “Of course, Schatz. (Jewel) I love you and kempfer (fighter) so very much. You’re two halves of aba.” He gave Levi a shit eating grin and Levi rolled his eyes, “I cannot with you.” Zev touched her leg under the table with his foot, “You want to read with me?” 

She smiled, “Yes, Gadol Hador, don’t we always read together after dinner?” He shrugged, “Thought you might forget.” Her eyes brightened, “Oh? Because I forget things.” She said sarcastically and Judah chuckled, “She remembers everything.” Aviva pouted, “I don’t want to be alone.” Zev smiled wickedly, “Judah needs help with his classwork.” She looked burned, “NO!”

Eren and Armin grinned, “Oh, Gadol Hador, that is a wonderful idea. They can camp out in the classroom and we’ll check on them and their progress.” Armin snickered, “More like check to make sure they live.” Both were sour at the thought and took their plates to be cleaned. 

Erwin wasn’t happy. “I think my little princess should rest.” Aviva pouted, “No, if Gisela is up I’ll be up.” 

Erwin pouted the same pout and Levi pulled his ear, “I swear I’m going to kick you ass.” It was muffled, mumbled, only Erwin could hear. He replied equally annoyed, “Your little kempfer is just that, a kempfer!” Levi pulled harshly, “I’LL DESTROY YOU.”

*****************

Later, Levi walked into the kitchen to get something to drink. Eren was quilting and watching Judah and Aviva on the baby monitor while Armin painted his nails and Mikasa told them all about their upcoming shows on speaker phone. He watched the sight before him and felt a familiar ache, a sadness that wasn’t sadness, a hope.

He hoped they’d always be like this.

Gisela’s back was against Zev’s chest. She sat on the bench of the kitchen table in the island between his legs. In her hands, a book. In his, a newspaper from Israel. He held it around them like a wall. This was their routine. She’d help him when he couldn’t see very well by telling what the letters were or wiping his reading glasses off. She’d fall asleep against him and he pick her up and put her in her bed with Judah, Aviva’s, or his. Every night it was the same.

Zev chuckled lowly in his chest and she lowered her book, “What is it?” 

“Another self hating Jew is claiming Israel is poisoning water.” 

She narrowed her eyes, “And you think that’s funny?” She asked defensively but more willing him to go on. 

He nodded, “Of course I think it’s funny. Why would I not think it was funny?” 

“I don’t think it’s funny.” 

“No? I do. I mean, how many times does Israel have to poison someone for them to die? My God, it’s just recycled libel every couple of months. No proof yet the story keeps appearing like an urban myth.” 

She laughed shortly, “Like the woman who’ll steal your kidney, right?” 

“Right, katzchen, exactly. Just like a ghost hitchhiker that steals your kidneys.” 

She closed her book, smiling softly, she was normally reserved at home. She nuzzled the side of her face into his chest and then she saw Levi, “Aba, what are you doing?” He had frozen watching them, “Milk.” He hated drinking milk by itself and she’d know that. He wasn’t as smart as he used to be. She gave him a wicked look. She’d caught him, “This late at night?” 

“No, I guess not.” 

“Aba, you’re such a brat.” 

She snickered and he smiled, “That hurts me, Gieselaka.” He feigned hurt by clutching his chest, “Aba, you were spying. Don’t lie. But, I think some fresh pomegranate juice is still in there.” Zev started to cackle, “Look Gigi, this little boy lost his underpants on the beach! HAHAHAHAHA!”

*****************

“Please...come….pick, me…..up.” Gisela’s heart was thumping wildly in her chest as she rolled out of her bed and Aviva moved sleepily, “Where are you going?” 

“I gotta….” 

“Get Judah!? Shit. Don’t go alone.” 

She pulled on her dance clothes near the end of her bed and went quietly down the hall to Zev’s room. She opened the door and he was still asleep, “Zev? Zev?” He groaned but woke up, “Gigi?” 

“Judah….um...needs to be picked up.” 

“I’m going with you.” He rolled out, grabbed a shirt and looked around for some shorts. She stared at him and he felt her eyes. It made him blush.

They drove to a bad part of town and Judah was outside, propped up against a door to a sketch building. They’d tried everything to keep him from sneaking out and getting into trouble but it was no use. He just seemed incapable of not looking for a fight with someone. 

They got him in the car and he was acting strange, “Are you,” she climbed over the passenger seat into the back with him and looked at his pupils, checked his arm, “heroin.” She slapped him harshly, cruelly, across the face and he sputtered, “Don’t be mad.” She hit again, “I AM!” She was livid, tears in her eyes, “Get your shit together, Jude.”

They went to another town’s gas station and she took him into the bathroom, wiping his face off and lecturing him. She checked his body, “Why?” “You weren’t there when I came back.” He said lazily and she wanted to scream, “Don’t be so fucking jealous.” He looked at the door, shirtless and wet, “You weren’t with Zev.” She looked at him, “You’ve got to stop.” 

“Are you really going to do it?” She paused. Sometimes he knew things she was thinking about. It was the same for her. Sometimes he knew her secrets. She wanted to throw up. “Yeah.” “Please….no.”

She ached, “I may not get in.” 

“You will.” 

“Come with me.” He started to cry and she held him, “I don't want to go to college, Gigi. I'm not getting out early like you…. I HAD NO IDEA YOU WERE GETTING OUT EARLY!.” She hadn’t told him because Aviva and she were so busy working to graduate at 16 so they could get into this once in a lifetime program. He’d have distracted her. She’d have let him. “Then….just tell them. I think you could do it, Judah. You’re so smart. You could do it. ” 

“I want to open my own business. It makes no sense to follow you to Europe and...I just want you to stay with me. Please...” She held him tighter, “You'll be 16 and in Europe with me! Think about it.” 

“Stay with me.” 

“Come with me.” He pressed his nose into the crux of her neck, “You're my soul. I can't come with you because there will be no place for me. I'd hurt you. If you must go, take Zev. Please.”

She looked in the mirror. She was killing him. She was why he kept getting arrested. She was the reason he wept. She wanted him to come but she knew that wasn't yet his place. “Zev doesn't want to come either.” 

“I'll make him.” 

“You should just come with me.” Judah kissed her. She wanted to sob when he pulled back, “No, go. Don’t stop doing what you want for me.” 

“If you wait till your 18 you can open your business instead of college. I’d be back maybe. I’d be at least able to come back…” 

“I want you to promise we’ll talk everyday. I want to see you as much as possible.” He was getting choked up and she wiped his face. “I’ll never be away or hidden from you, Yehuda.”

She pulled him out and back into the car. Zev looked at his phone, “Let’s get you some food.” She sat in the back with him while he leaned against her, “I won’t make it when you leave.” Zev’s back tensed up. She started to cry and he pulled her closer, “But, I’m so proud you’re my sister. I love you so much.” 

“Stop doing hardcore drugs.” 

“I just can’t handle how I feel.” 

“Stop.” 

“The urges are there.” 

“I know.” 

“You know…” 

“I know.” She looked at him and he felt better, “Do you…” 

“Do you want to have this conversation with Zev in the car?” 

Zev kept driving and Judah looked at him, “Do you know what I’m talking about?” Zev looked in the rear view mirror and nodded, “I do.” Judah kept staring, “And?” 

“And what, Judah?” 

Gisela looked at Zev, “It’s not what I expected either.” 

“Is it warranted?” Zev looked back into the mirror and Judah shrugged, “Most of the time.” Gisela laid her head on his shoulder, “Let’s not talk about it. Not right now.” Zev nodded, “I really want waffle house!” She smiled, “Chocolate chip waffles!”

********************

Judah ate and they talked about her going away. She didn’t want to that much but even Zev seemed to push her on it, “It’s something that we were scouted for.” Zev gasped, “Wow! From the last performance?” 

“Yeah, but we’re not old enough to just go. We have to be 16 and get permission and we have to have a school leaving certificate. That’s why we were working so hard on it.” Judah held her hand and then kissed it, “You’re so smart.” She smiled, “I don’t know about all that. I’m just resourceful.” Judah rolled his eyes, “She’s ridiculous.”

Zev buttered his toast, “Utterly ridiculous.” 

“You hear her?” 

“I hear her. I cannot believe my ears.” 

“Though they be on your head you cannot and I cannot.” 

“Doch doch, she doesn’t understand.” 

“Not at all.” 

“I think she must be too humble.” 

“Too humble, yes.” 

She flicked a sugar packet at Zev, “Zevka,” she narrowed her eyes, yiddish exaggerated, “will you come if I get in?” He didn’t let on how caught off guard he was, he deflected, “I KNOW YOU WILL GET IN!” She looked at him still, “But will you?” He waved her off, “Let’s talk about more important things like how if aba sees him he’ll know and then...you know….”

*********************

When they got home Aviva was white as a sheet, “I’m so sorry, I was asleep still and they asked where you were and I mumbled that you went to get Judah…” Gisela’s eye widened in fear, “It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean to.” Aviva wrung her hands and then she saw Judah leaning on Zev. She tried to think but then there was Levi and he was furious, “My office, _now!_ ” 

He went inside and Judah’s fierce hate in his eyes burned her, “YOU BITCH!” She sneered, “I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!” He moved towards her but Zev pulled him back, fist like iron, “Come on y’all. let’s go talk to aba.” He was smiling, always smiling. 

**********

He couldn’t keep doing this. He couldn’t keep letting her sleep with him. He wanted her, he wanted to do things to her that were not okay. He wanted to pull her shorts off and just taste her sweetness, “Get out.”

He said it loudly, pushing her to the edge. She was hurt, he’d let her do this since she was a toddler. They were always attached and there was this energy between them but she was like his sister, she was raised like his sister. That’s wrong. 

Jewish law says a man raised with a woman from childhood could not be wed to her. He couldn’t wed her and he couldn’t sleep with her if he couldn’t wed her because he’d want to wed her because if he slept with her he’d have to finally admit it all, all of his feelings. Right? Why was this so hard? Why did he feel like HaShem was punishing him?

She turned her face to him, legs bruised from dance, slight pout to her bottom lip that drove him wild, “Zevka, really?” 

She was so sleepy, she was beautiful, her hair to the side in ringlets. _Her pouty full lips. Someone should always be kissing those lips_ God, she was the most beautiful thing God ever made. Outside of his real sister, who was equally stunning. They were so beautiful it hurt. 

It would be like sleeping with Aviva. That’s what he had decided, that’s what the rabbi had said, he couldn’t sin against her, “Get out. I’m hot and I want to sleep alone for once.” She moved out of the bed and went to the door slowly. He watched her go sleepy, hurt. He had hurt her and it felt like he’d plunged a knife in his own heart.

She walked down to Judah and her’s room and crawled in the bed with him. She hated sleeping alone and she loved to be with Zev whose large body covered her so well. She’d been in love with Erwin growing up because he was her ideal man and that had made her Aba scoff endlessly. He must have been his, too. She thought about how similar she was to Levi and smiled to herself.

Judah woke up, his arms brought her to his chest and he sighed happily, “I’m glad you’re here.” She kissed him, equally glad to have her most beloved brother, though that pained her to say because she really loved her brothers all so much, to herself, “He told me to get out.” Judah’s brow furrowed, “Well, at least you came here and not to bitch face.” She scowled, “Don’t call Aviva that.” 

“Okay.” 

“I love you.” 

“I love you, too.”

She dreamed of Zev in Israel with a backpack full of money and tears in his eyes. She hated her dreams because they always came true.

*********************

"Why are you upset?" He wiped his nose, "I'm not upset." He shrugged it off, sitting on the steps of the tiny house looking at Jean and Marco's house in the distance, "Yes you are, I know you." He tched, "You don't know me, little girl." He said it like an old WWII general and made her laugh, "Shut up." 

She playfully hit him, "I'm not a little girl. I'm almost 16. Why are you out here?" He was out here because he was going to break his parent's heart, "No reason." "Liar. Why...why are you avoiding me?" Because he was confused, because he didn’t want her to leave, because he didn’t want to not see her anymore, because he didn’t want her to find someone, because he hoped she would, "I'm noooot avoooooiding youuuuu my gaaahhhh." 

He threw his hands up, making a trademark dramatic exasperated face, in the air and laid on his back with a thud, "Gahhhh Gigi, you're so paranoid." She looked at him cautiously, "I got a gig in Nashville. Will you come play with me? Will you sing with me?" He looked up at the stars and sighed, "Don’t I always?” A beat of silence, he wanted to stay and sing with her forever, “When?" 

He felt her energy rise, he knew her so well, she'd be the death of him, "This Saturday. Aba, Jeanka, Davidka, Cesareka, and you will be leaving on Friday so we can have Saturday to set up. I already have your name on the marquee.” She smiled sinfully sweet and his chest ached. Did her chest ever ache for him?

He decided to thoroughly abuse himself and talk about what he didn’t want to even acknowledge, "When are dance try outs?" She frowned, "Two weeks." 

"So, you're going to do dance and Opera. When does school start?" 

"If I get in I'll start in Winter." 

"You'll get in Gigi." 

"I hope. I want to be at the same school as Aviva. I...want you to come with us. You can still do it, Zev. They want you, too!" He wanted to absolutely cry, "I don't know what I want to do with my life.” 

He deflected like always, “You and Aviva, y'all are so smart graduating at 16 and knowing exactly what you want. You and Aviva are the most precious, most astounding people." She made her lips press together in a thin line, "You can sing, Zev. You’re just as smart, you’re talented. I swear, you and I….I thought we were going to do this together in a way." 

He sighed, "Naw, I'd rather fuck around." She laid down next to him and he allowed himself one moment of weakness and he held her. “Let’s go somewhere one day.” He said suddenly and she looked up at him, “Where?” He paused, “I don’t know. Israel or somethin’.” She moved closer, “Okay.”

*****************

They were always singing and playing music together. Zev and Gisela were musical lovers, their work spoke volumes and when he toured with her the magic was real. He loved her operatic talents but it was her lyrics, her languages, her movement of tongue and the way she slew people with her coy words. Her teeth were sharp like fangs and he wanted them to sink into him. 

He was fighting her now, fighting her on stage and she loved it. He moved with the guitar jumping from one speaker to the next. Levi was leading with his bass, she provided back up in this song while playing lead guitar. They were doing a song together, father and daughter, the ultimate duo. In his opinion, better than he and her. He kept getting in her way during the performance, upstaging her. She liked when he went against the grain and did what he wanted. He liked to have fun and he loved to make her laugh.

He stuck his tongue out at her and she grinned. He eventually left behind the stage and came out in a tall nine foot robot suit to dance behind them. It was a wild show. Levi let her do what she wanted and he was able to indulge in his own krassness. He had told her, “I don’t think these are things a father sings about with his daughter let alone uses her lyrics about these unsavory things.” 

She had laughed brightly, “Aba, I love you, but I’m a person, a soon to be adult with thoughts, feelings. I am a piece of the creator.” He smiled sadly, “But, you’ll always be my Gisela, my little Gigi.” She smirked, “And you’ll always be my Aba.” She kissed his cheek and Levi smiled.

Now, onstage, he was watching as a robot fake humped his daughter who was cracking up while anime hentai clips played behind them as they did a cover of Rob Zombie’s “Everybody is fucking in a U.F.O.” _”We get to fuck the prettiest, we get to fuck the prettiest, we get to fuck the prettiest…”_

Gigi did amazing Rob covers; his personal favorite was “Lords of Salem.” It also made him infinitely happy that his Vati let him listen to his old albums as much as he wanted growing up. 

He remembered his first TOOL shirt that he ate strawberries and blackberries in at Jewish Summer Camp and got dirty. He was sad but then he tye dyed it and all the chicks were flocking to him because he was so cool. He was the very definition of cool and hot.

That night they ate in a bar and Levi kept an eye on his daughter and Cesare. Cesare seemed to be preoccupied with his phone and Jean and David were laughing about something on the news they saw where someone was interviewed and spent about twenty minutes talking about how before the mass shooting they were trying to decide what they wanted to eat and then read the menu in the most monotone voice ever. 

Levi turned to Zev, “Cesare is being a little shit and I’m curious as to why. Watch Gigi. Don’t let anyone touch her.” He left and Zev took his place as her stand in protector when Judah was absent. 

Judah and Zev were actually in the Gigi and Aviva protection squad but they didn’t let people know that. They only reported to Nikko, their chief and Human Resources was handled strictly by Ezra and Yoni, the future vet and lawyer. Occasionally, Tuvia provided set up and extractions from scenes and Keita was clean ups and intimidation. Hannahlore was his fulltime ward and didn’t stray into the main branch’s duties too much since Keita kept her under lock and key in a special swat team kind of way.

She looked at him through her dark, thick lashes, “So,” her voice was cute and promised him the world, “I have a story for you.” 

“What?” 

“It’s about the night me and Aviva snuck out after a dance recital in Atlanta.” 

“Oohhhh, well, I suppose this will entail sex?” He smiled cheekily and nudged her but really that kind of upset him but he didn’t know why. I mean, they were all open about it but he still didn’t like that she was young and active. He had been but he was….well….. He tried to drown his feelings in girls and one night stands. He didn’t have as much success with long-term or anything after they saw him in the sunlight. Being an Albino freaked people out. 

“Yeah, So, Aviva meets this guy and he’s super old in my opinion.” 

“You’re almost 16, everyone’s old.” 

“Ha, yeah and he wants to take us out so we go with him to this gay friendly club and we meet up with this chick.” 

“She cute?” 

“Yes. So, we’re talking and I really like her and we all decide to spend the night with one another.” 

“Um like, “ 

“Just fuckin’ wait, man.” 

“Hahaha!” She smiled putting her hand on his arm, “And so I’m in her car and Aviva is in his and we go our separate ways.” 

“When I show up it’s at this fuckin’ Iranian bomb shelter Saddam Hussein terror apartment building and she’s like, “I’m not that far up….just….you know….Floor 17” and we walk to the elevator but it’s broken and she’s like “come on, it’s not that bad.” Her face was faux excited mimicking the fail reassurance the girl tried to give her. Zev slammed his beer on the table and laughed heartily, “Fuck noooooo.” 

“But, I was invested, Zev. I wanted sex. I was invested.” He chuckled, “Oh, been there, been there.” 

“I also didn’t wanna chicken out since Aviva went home with that guy.” 

“Oh,” he rolled his eyes, “No, you’re too good for peer pressure.” He knew that in their group that was easier said than done. They were like a little pack of lions and they needed to compete to establish pecking order and he also knew that his sister and Gisela were sometimes involved with one another. 

He tried to suppress his blush at the thought. She nodded, waving her hand, “I know, I know. I’m kind of ashamed. So here I am, thick thighs and all climbing those damn steps and then BAM, we at her door and it’s . fucking. Got. BULLET. HOLES!” He gasped, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.”

He leaned forward, ”Did you get the fuck outta there?” She laughed, “NO! I had earned that pussy.” He nearly spat, “Fuckin’ had your name on it, didn’t it?” 

“Damn straight! So I walk inside and then I see nothing but pink inflatable furniture like that shit that was cool in the 90s when Vati and Baba were kids.” Zev was cackling and leaning on the bar, “And she’s like let’s get in on in here on the couch and I’m like bitch you mean the inflatable see through couch that would pop? And she’s like um yeah my husband is gunna use the bedroom and I’m like wut you mean husband and she says,” 

“nOoooooOOoOOoO,” 

“YES! She says, “I’m married but it’s an open relationship.” And then she smiled and I was like…mmm…not sure about that,” 

“I mean, we can’t really talk, remember when we realized that our parents were actually in a polyamorous relationship and that other kids didn’t grow up like us?” 

“Weeeeell, I know it works for our parents but I don’t know if I could do it. Maybe if it was with Aviva? Anyway, okay, I know I could. God, we’re so screwed up. Anyway, so, we’re making out and things are okay and then BAM I hear glass break and then the door opens and it’s Aviva,” 

Zev slapped the bar, “WUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT??”

She smiled, “Oh yeah, fuck, she’s so mad and then I see it, their bedroom set was covered in MIRRORS LIKE SOME LIONEL RICHIE MUSIC VIDEO! And she’s like, “Fuck you mother fucker I’m leaving. And I stand up because I think, we’ll this is just a no go. And the girl, she wanted me to call her Cha Cha and she taught in China and that’s all she talked about.” 

“G, what happened!?” She wiped her face moving to sit cross-legged on her stool, “So, he’s like you ain't leaving and Aviva is like fuck off and I get a little,” 

“Insane in the membrain,” 

“I am an angel.” 

“You are my sweet petite joli,” 

She blushed and he did too.

_Awkward silence._

“So, I grab Aviva and they get all like, we can have a foursome and I don’t know but I just slap Aviva and I’m like, “You bitch, you cheatin’ on me?” And they stopped like….wait…wut….are these bitches together and fighting….what’s happening? It gave us enough time that we start fake fighting and then we’re like hate making out and I try to open the door but she’s locked it and she’s grinning insane like she ain’t gunna let us out and so I just took her potted plant because you know all the other furniture is just fancy ass balloon furniture and I just knock her window out and we climb out of it.” 

Zev was slapping the table and laughing as she laughed with him. He asked how it ended and she said she just slept with Aviva. He felt a little hot imagining her with another girl. He felt really guilty about it, “Are you….interested only in…” He’d never asked and he’d never thought he’d be the one to ask her. He knew she and Aviva sometimes slept together and they shared a bed most of the time so it wasn’t like anyone would be suspicious. Well, she rotated between Aviva and Judah but most of the time she slept with him like she always had.

She smirked and it was devious, “Am I a lesbian?” He watched her and then nodded, “No, Zev. I’m a free agent. But, I’ll put it to you this way,” she finished her drink and reached over to take a bottle from behind the bar that was currently unmanned, “Aviva is beautiful and sleeping with women means you don’t get pregnant. I’m also only really interested a certain type of man and that’s hard to find.”

He bit the inside of his cheek, grinning, “Oh yeah?” His voice was playful and she batted her eyelashes, “Yeah.” 

“What kind of guy is that?” She drank the Jaeger she’d lifted and he was impressed but she lived on Jaeger like it was her life force, “Guys like daddy. Big, can throw me around; dashing, dangerous, smart, blond or albino…” He felt like his entire body had been thrown into a fire, “S-s-omeone like my daddy…Erwin…someone like…” _Me, she said me oh HaShem…my heart, oh God she’s so pretty. No, I can’t!_

“I can’t believe that I just heard that. Why would you ever want to be with someone like Commander big ass eyebrow tree man?” Levi sat back down next to her and wrapped an arm around her protectively, “What’s the appeal in that?” She smiled coyly, “Big ass tree men can protect me, they can reach for things that are too high for me, they can provide for me by performing manual tasks, they have broad shoulders to wrap me and our children in. Do you see the appeal?”

Levi snorted at the quip, “I see the appeal maybe. I guess I’m okay with him.” Both kids smiled because they knew that was an understatement. Aba loved Daddy. They had this bond that was unshakable and they didn’t know the full story but they’d tried. They asked them why they were all so close and it was always the same, “We were in the military. We got out. We were best friends, we were going to have a family. We met your Baba and Vati and they were the same. Then we all fell in love, got married, had you all, and we’ve been making businesses and doing our best since then.” 

Levi leaned on her shoulder, he sighed, “You’re too young for France.” She rolled her eyes, “Abaaaaa, don’t start this again. Nikko is starting school at the Sorbonne, too! I’ll be in the dorms with Aviva if we make it in,” 

“When you make it in,” 

“Abbaaaa,” 

“Admit it, you’re perfect. Perfect girls get into their perfect programs.” 

“I’m going to do Linguistics.” 

“I know,” 

“and psychology.” 

“Like David, ughhh.” She kissed his cheek, “I love you so much, Aba. I’ll spend time with Nikko and Mila’s already been there for a year and she can be our guide. She already has stuff picked out for us.”

Zev’s heart hurt thinking about her leaving. She turned to him and smiled and he nodded, “You should think about coming to France, too. We could sing, we could eat macaroons, please think about it, Zev.” Levi looked at the bar and he was lost in his own thoughts. Zev always knew. He didn’t like it when it got serious so he just started to laugh and go on and on about how important he was here. He didn’t want to tell her the truth. **************** 

Zev had come out of surgery after getting tubes in his ear. Gisela and Judah had cried holding on to each other while he recovered. Oskar had checked him over and over till he recommended a therapy, “Let him go to voice with Gisela and Aviva.” Erwin thought about it, “Will it help?” Armin looked at the pictures of his boys and girl around the office.

Zev started and Mrs. Gould didn’t say anything for almost two months.

Levi and Armin rode to pick him up together. Armin was worried about the lack of feedback from the woman and Levi held his hand in silent solidarity. She was waiting for them, Zev smiling next to her. She handed them a flyer for the next performance and that was all. Zev hopped in the car and Armin lightly asked him how he was feeling and did he enjoy class with Mrs. Gould like the girls or not?

He smiled, “I love everything, vati. Like….I love everything.”

Levi’s heart had grew three sizes larger.

A few weeks later they realized that Zev had received a large role in the production. Gisela had made over him and Zev had soaked it all in. Erwin and Armin waited in the audience nervously while Eren and Ezra colored to keep themselves busy and Levi fretted silently. When the show began they all sat back in their seats and watched in rapture.

When it was finished and the applause echoed in the room, Erwin’s face was streaked with tears.

It was like listening to his mother’s records but better.

His son was a singer.

Armin held his hand and smiled, “I am so happy.”

Zev crawled into bed with Erwin that night while Armin showered, “Daddy?” He pulled him on top of his chest, “Yeah?” Zev smiled, “Am I a good singer?” He smiled, “Such a good singer. I’m so proud of you.” He grinned, “I’m pretty cool.” Erwin chuckled, “Yeah, you’re the coolest.” One of the kittens crawled up on the bed and Zev pet it, “What was your mom and dad like?”

Erwin inhaled, “My mother was a very famous opera singer. My father was a professor.” Zev nuzzled the kitten, “She sang in front of men?” He frowned, “Yes, why are you asking that specifically?” Zev shrugged, “Rabbi Lubavitch says that women shouldn’t sing in front of men. It’s Kol Isha.” 

Erwin frowned, “Son, would you want Gisela and Aviva to stop singing when they turn 13?” Zev paused, “No, I think they are talented and that’s what their purpose it.” Erwin pulled his closer, “And that’s why Kol Isha is an outdated form of sexism that continued to put women in the home or in a different place in society. I don’t mind orthodoxy that a person freely chooses to put upon themselves. But I do have a problem when people choose to not do something and then try to force others to make that choice. I never ever want to hear you tell the women in your life what they can and can’t do. You don’t get that choice because we’ve made that choice for them and have treated them like shit.”

“Zev, you’re gunna meet a lot of other men who say “I’ve never done anything to anyone” and they’ll try to absolve themselves of things. I’m not saying that we deserve to be hurt and punished for the actions of those in the past but that we should acknowledge the pain that those choices caused others. Look at the Germans today. Do you think your aba holds them personally responsible for the Holocaust? No.” 

“But, does he expect more of them to never let that happen again? Yes. David and Mikasa look at China and Japan in similar ways. Sasha is Romanian and her family remembers communism and so does Oskar. Be responsible and know that as a man, men have taken us to war and done other atrocious things. They’ve also silenced women. Imagine if David told Mikasa what to do? Or if your sister was controlled by someone. Imagine Gisela.”

“Never forget that you have to personally do what is right despite what others are doing. You are beholden to yourself and HaShem. When all the world turns their back, you must not.”

Armin came to bed wiping lotion onto his skin, “Let me put some on you, Zev.” Zev groaned but moved for him to do so. It had a little sunscreen in it. Armin climbed into bed and giggled, “I’m glad we’ve got such a big bed. Zev, you’re going to be as big or maybe bigger than your daddy.” He hugged and kissed all over Zev while he laughed and smiled. Erwin watched and then joined in, “I am so lucky.” Zev turned to Armin, “Vati, are you a boy or a girl?” 

Armin gave him such an amused look, “Boy, but I don’t care if someone calls me a girl. I just don’t care about that anymore. You’re daddy loves me and that’s all that matters.” Zev snuggled between them, “I love you.” Armin smiled, “I know, I’m the best.” Erwin rolled his eyes, “That’s where he gets it from.” Armin snickered, “Not that Smith blood? Come on….”

*****************

She opened another beer, leather jacket keeping her warm from the chill, the sun was going down but she wore her aviator sunglasses that belonged to her Aba. She listened to the singing around her, walking through the old city. She was lost in the crowd but she knew where she was going. 

At 17 Gisela Yael Ackermann had already completed one year of her studies at the Sorbonne in France for Dance, Opera, and Linguistics. She was smart, she was beautiful, she was divine. She was poison, she was devastation, she was become death and she didn’t even realize it yet. She wanted to see him after a year of waiting for school to settle down and the season to end. She’d booked a gig to perform at a fundraiser in Jerusalem and she pounced on it. Jerusalem called. Jerusalem had him.

She put the beer down, took off her glasses, she was admired by the people who passed her.. Here she could be who she was: a simple Jewish girl in love. He said he worked at the embassy as a translator on the weekends and that’s where she was now. The streets alive with music and the smell of food. 

She walked inside and looked around the plastic seats and tile floor. She heard him, his distinct laugh, she felt him, his soul called to hers. She walked with purpose and found him in a small attached waiting room for kids. He was in the floor, they crawled on top of him. He was Goliath and he had been felled by their stones of challah bread pieces and his blood was sweet wine. It was Shabbat, after all. “Zev,” she said his name and he snapped to attention, “I’ve found you.”

His throat was hoarse, his mouth dry, the children smiled because they thought a princess had arrived. She was so fair like him but not as much and she looked like Elsa from the Disney movie. He gasped for air, he’d stopped breathing, “Yeah, you found me.”

****************

His hands were on her waist, her body pressed against him as they danced sensually to the music. It was a dance hall, yellow sandy floors, stage of dark wood, round tables large enough for only two couples at a time with white dishes and beers cold with fog on their glasses. Her emerald green dress hugged her, revealed her curves. 

She was too young, that’s all he could think about. Her hair was short, shoulder length and for her that was short. It was curly, large round ringlets, platinum blonde. Her green eyes, long lashes, full plush petal pink lips, all of her beauty shone under the dimmed dance floor lights as a few other couples moved as intimately and slowly as they did. He loved her, but he couldn’t love her. 

_A man who grows up with a woman like a sister from childhood in the same house cannot marry her._

She was 17 and he was 20. He couldn’t touch her if he wanted to. She was forbidden to him and this was as close as he’d let himself get so as not to taint her.

********************

She moved against him in his queen size bed. He lived a good life, nice apartment, made a lot of money, and she still had to sleep pressed against him; mold herself to his body. Somehow in winter she managed to make his body hot, slick with sweat. He rolled over and faced her. Her lips were parted, hair in her face, she was so appealing. She closed her mouth, slowly woke up. She could probably feel him staring at her.

He gently moved her hair out of her face, “Why did you come?” 

She smiled, “Because I missed you and you never got to come to a show this year.” 

“I was training.” 

“I know, but…” She moved closer, “I just wanted to be with you, here, like this.” He shook from sadness, “They didn’t want me to come.” 

She mumbled into his shoulder, “They were just afraid.” He whispered, “Were you afraid?” She inhaled, “No,” she nuzzled him, “I was proud. This is important. This is worth dying for.” His lip trembled, “Really?” 

She nodded, “You never could hide your belief in Zionism from me. Because we’re cut from the same cloth, Zev. I believe just as strongly as you. In school, I heard them talk about us. I heard them talk about you. You can hide it, pretend you’re not interested in learning, pretend you’re all about the fun. But, you’re very invested in it and very emotional just like me.” He wanted to cry because she was right.

He pressed a kiss to her temple and she sighed into him, “You’re a good man, Zev. You’re a good person.” Suddenly, he kissed her. He pulled back quickly like he was burned, “I’m just a freak, Gisela. Go to sleep.” She let her fingers trail up his side and listened to the soft music from the speaker on the side table. He liked to listen to operas when he slept. He liked to listen to her and his grandmother, Marilyn. They were two women that inspired him with their talent.

*******************

She was dancing and when she hit her mark to sing, ballet shoes and makeup on, Aviva on stage with her, her eyes focused on the rows of people she could see, and she saw him. He’d come. She sang her heart out, she danced her heart out. Aba, Baba, her brothers, they’d all come the other opening nights but this time they would miss it and have to come next week. Aviva had been sad but Tuvia came from Poland to see her the day before and now he was here and they’d have him together.

After the show he walked up to her and Aviva, two bouquets of long stem red roses, “You were beautiful.” Mila, Nikko, and her boyfriend came to see them behind the curtains and were excited to see Zev as well. She noticed the small hickeys, she saw the bruises, the way he limped. When they got food she sat with Aviva and they talked about what a bitch he must have fucked to have tore him up that bad. Nikko seemed to be equally inquisitive and Mila was on his team with her snarky boyfriend buttering his bread and playing on his phone.

That night Aviva fell asleep in Mila’s room making it difficult for her boyfriend to potentially spend the night. Nikko offered Zev his bed or to sleep with him but he declined since the other room with two beds was available, “I’ll end up with a guest anyway.” He finished his beer, slightly drunk, and looked over at Gisela. A moment passed between them and she made sure to follow him to bed. Nikko smiled as he closed the door to his own room. Now, if only he could get rid of Mila’s boyfriend? Then they’d all have a chance at happiness.

She crawled in the bed with him and he wrapped his arms around her like usual. He breathed her in and soon they were moving against each other slowly, feeling the other one, testing. He panted pulling the cover off of them and his nose nuzzled and traced up and down her neck, “What’s gotten into you, Gisela?” 

His voice was dangerously low, husky, raw like his father’s, “You shouldn’t play with me. I’m fire, you’ll get burned.” She traced his shoulder and neck with her fingers, “Looks like your last lover likes it rough. Should I add to your bruises?” He stilled, he’d not gotten these wounds from a lover but he couldn’t say that. Instead, drunk and feeling brave, he opened his mouth and got himself into trouble, “You shouldn’t tease me. Plus, you’re like a sister. That would be sinful for you to even offer.” She challenged him just the way he’d hoped, “But, I’m not your sister and if I was I don’t think we’d be here like this anyway.”

He pushed her more on her back, pinning her with his large size, he eclipsed her and always had, “I can’t….it’s wrong.” His lips ghosted over her jugular, he sounded truly conflicted and guilty, “Can I at least….touch you?” She took a deep breath, “Yes, please, touch me.” His hands moved up her hips, around her waist, cupped her full large breasts, they came to grab her supple ass, massaged them and then the back of her thighs. 

His hands trailed her body and she gasped as he found all of her tender spots. He never kissed her, he wouldn’t. She was frustrated with him but she understood it was something he was really hung up on and pushing him would have unwanted consequences. When his hand delved between her legs she whined and he rubbed the thin fabric of her satin bottoms, then his hand went inside of them, he rubbed her sex firmly and deftly. She rolled her hips and he hummed in appreciation at the sight of her and the beautiful sounds she made. He enjoyed it till his conscious grew too loud: marriage, children, commandments…

He stopped and she whimpered. He couldn’t marry her, it was forbidden. He couldn’t sleep with her because he’d want to marry her. If he did, she’d want children with him because she’d know he’d always wanted children, but he couldn’t because what if they were albinos, too? Could he curse his children? He wrapped her in his arms, “I can’t. I’m sorry.” She sighed and pressed her head into his shoulder. “Why…..how did you get these things in your mind?” 

“Don’t question my beliefs.” 

“I will always question.” 

He pulled away, “I’m just a freak Gisela. Go over to the other bed.”

****************

He left and she cried. She didn’t say anything else about it and instead she hid her dreams, her concerns, and her hopes even from Judah and Aviva. Nikko was frustrated as well and spoke to Ezra about it who told Keita. Such was the life of living in a modern day tribal like family. Everyone knows everything.

*******************

She stayed in the dorm rooms at the school but Nikko had come to pick her up on his night off. He took her to a show, they ate, they danced, they spent time together. Ezra face timed them, his hands covered in something icky, “I just delivered a litter! I mean, it was amazing!” His eyes were bright and smile goofy like their Baba’s smile when he came home with another animal that Aba would have to take care of. 

Aba and Baba were so in love and that was currently what they were discussing with their brother, “Do you ever think we’ll be in love like that?” Nikko smiled, “Pff Of course. Plus, look at us, we’re gorgeous.” Ezra and Gisela laughed, “Maybe Gigi but I don’t know about us. Have you seen the Smiths?” Gisela blushed slightly and Ezra’s eyes narrowed like a hawk, “Someone here has.” Nikko chuckled and leaned over pushing on her. 

They left the café, held hands through the streets, she dreamed and dreamed. She wrote songs that Nikko committed to paper with his notepad. They were a good match in personalities. They were comfortable. She looked at him, “How is it living with Mila?” Nikko shrugged, “It’s great. She’s a good roommate.” She smirked, “Are you two getting closer?”

His brow furrowed, “I don’t know what you mean.” 

“You know, I bet she’d like to take that stuffy old jacket off and live a little. She used to be so much fun.” 

“She still is fun.” 

“Not really. She’s with that guy now and he’s a Debbie downer. She also got really studious trying to get into the school. Aba thinks she sacrificed a little of herself to put so much energy into getting where she is.” 

Nikko shook his head, “No, I think Mila’s just,” 

“Nehemiah…really?”

He snorted, “She’s perfect. I don’t see the flaws you do.” She smiled wickedly, “No, and nor does Aba. But, I love her too and I just want her to be as happy as possible and news flash, it isn’t going to be with that lumpy potato of a person.” 

They went up the stairs to their front door and he smirked, “He does look like a sack full of rocks, doesn’t he?” ************** 

She was in the hallway and Aviva sat down next to her, “I think we’re going to get into the choir for both.” She smiled, “I’ve got a lot of classes on my plate.” “You like it like that.” 

“Have you talked to Zev?” 

“No.” 

“He wanted me to tell you good luck and made like….these weird animal noises,” 

“He probably made lion noises,” 

“Weird, but I know how you are about stuff like that before a big audition.” 

Aviva opened her phone, “Can you believe it still that we’re here by ourselves at 17? We’ll be 18 soonish but still. A whole year alone in another country and we can barely drive.” 

Gisela laughed, “I know. I miss my Judah so bad. I wish he’d come.” 

Aviva stuck her tongue out, “Ughhhhh he’s so icky.” She hit her playfully, “Shut up, he’s my brother.” Gisela sent him a quick text, “I don’t make faces at your brothers.” Aviva’s eyebrow rose, “Well, Yoni and Tuvia are pretty awesome non-offending guys that love you and well, you know you think that Zev is far from icky.” She smirked and Gisela hit her, “Shut up.”

They stopped laughing when Nikko and Keita appeared. Keita must have just got in and he gave Aviva a look that spoke volumes. Aviva and Keita had been sleeping on and off with one another for a year. Keita made Gisela feel strange now, though. It had nothing to do with Aviva, simply she was aware something was always going on behind the scenes with him and Nikko was always involved to some degree and she didn’t like it. 

Nikko and Zev were a better match and a much safer one in her opinion. “Gigi, let’s get lunch.” She smiled and stood up, “Okay.” She and Aviva went with them walking through the cafeteria out to the atrium where one could hail a taxi when Mila went by. She was with some guy and apologized for not staying. 

They had reservations at a 5 star restaurant and were way under dressed. Gisela thought that was pretentious but hey, she liked to be wined and dined. “Where is Zev?” Nikko’s brow furrowed, “Home? Maybe? I don’t know. He was helping Judah set up his business. Of course, Maxim and Ilya are overseeing it. Aba and Baba are just letting him…find his way. He has a silent owner. I get it’s Zev.” 

She nodded, she was that owner but they didn’t need to know, “I just thought he might,” Keita interrupted, “Come here? No, he seems to have other plans. What they are, I have no idea. But, knowing Zev it must be a big deal for him to keep such focus on hiding it from you.”

Aviva nodded, “Yeah, I mean, he hasn’t said anything to me and him not telling you or even going against you is just odd. I begged him to come too. I was sure we’d have him here with us. I was sure he’d be with you on stage and in class.” Gisela blushed and Keita smiled, “Someone is blushing.” 

Aviva’s head whipped to the side, her tone scathing, “She’s been dancing for almost six hours being scrutinized by people. She’s probably got a fever from coming to such a cold place.” Keita winked at her and Nikko regarded his sister, “Gisela, come to the apartment tonight.” Nikko slid his apple slices over to her, “Okay.” She wanted to call Zev but that would just make things worse.

******************

Gisela dressed for comfort. She was beautiful and Nikko loved to sketch her in his journal alongside his poems and short stories, “You know, Mila said you two can move in. It’s not a big deal.” He wanted her near him, safe, “You’re being so like Aba.” 

Her French had a lit to it, it was so black and white movie star. He smiled, “I know. I like my people being right where I can see them. It’s not that bad.” 

“No, it could be worse.”

“Zev, you know, he’s not put in a good place when you two beg him. He doesn’t want to disappoint you.” 

That was weak and she knew it, “What the fuck are you trying to say? I love you, but for real. You can’t always be such a pacifist.” 

He closed his mouth, his head cocked to the side and he gave her an amused look, “You know, same. I don’t understand when you play submissive, Gigi. Forceful always suits you better.” He smirked and that was a little taste of Judah that made her smile.

“Do you like Zev?”

“Do I like him?”

“Are you in love with him, Gisela?” 

She held his gaze, “What does it matter?” He leaned forward, “It has everything to matter.” She finished her tea, “He doesn’t see me like that.” Nikko’s eyes widened in understanding, “I think he sees you in a lot of ways.”

******************

It started when she left, the ache in his heart. He loved her, he loved her, he loved her, he was poison to her. They came and offered him things he couldn’t refuse. He’d become more and more political while at school and he wanted to help safeguard his people from the insanity that was currently gripping the world with its claws. 

_Mossad_ , he was going to be a Mossad agent and help fight enemies of his state and people. He wanted this, he believed in this, he knew that soon Israel would be at war again and the US would not help her. She didn’t need help but it wouldn’t hurt. She didn’t need the US making things harder. 

He’d been passionate in class but only when he forgot himself. Gisela was so free and outspoken in her Zionism. She was subjected to fierce lashback that had made him track down a few people who threatened her in serious and break their noses. Keita was similar in that. They were all looking out for the other.

He had to tell his parents that he was leaving, joining the IDF. You’d think they’d be supportive since uncle David was IDF but they’d all been strange about letting their children join any type of military. They were retired marines but often told them they regretted it and that they shouldn’t do it. 

This was going to be difficult. They told him to tell them he was training for the paratrooper unit and he’d also be learning how to become a medic. He hoped it would sway them if he threw those good old medical words out there since they really cherished and held medicine in such esteem. But, his Vati….how would his Vati take it?”

*********************

He went to the office and knocked on the door, “Vati, Daddy, I need to tell you something.” Armin was writing something in the ledger for his shop while Erwin finished some other paperwork, “Yes?’ Armin’s eyes were on him scrutinizing him from head to toe, “If this is bad then keep it to yourself.” Erwin tisked, “Baby, please.” 

“Look at his face, all red, he’s done something.” 

“Did Judah do something with you? I mean, we’d need to prepare for Levi and Eren’s fallout.” 

“No.” Zev twisted his medical bracelet on his wrist between his fingers, “I’m leaving for the IDF. I enrolled for the paratroopers and will be going in the medic corps too.” Armin and Erwin were silent, Armin’s face turned white, green, pink, and then the tears, “WHAT?! NO!” He stood up, “WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS AND NOT TALK ABOUT IT WITH US!?”

Erwin stood up, “Zev, wait, Armin, calm down, oh no, what is going on, shit.” 

“NOOOOOOOOOOO!” Armin yelled, he lamented, falling to his knees, “HOW WILL YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!? HOW WILL THEY HANDLE WHAT YOU NEED?! WHY WOULD YOU KEEP THIS FROM US? I AM YOUR PARENT! I MADE YOU! HOW HAVE YOU KEPT SUCH A COMPLICATED MATTER FROM US!?” 

Zev cowered, “Vati, please don’t cry. They know about my albinism. They’re going to work with it. They understand!” Armin screeched, “WHEN WE WENT TO AFRICA YOU WERE ABDUCTED!” Erwin cringed, “Armin, no! Please, calm down!” 

“HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN?! I HAVEN’T!” He bent over and then threw his arms down by his side before running his hands through his hair. He turned around and then back again, “I have never forgotten that moment. I will never forget knowing that my child was taken because of the lack of melanin in his skin.”

Zev knew it was coming. How could he have forgotten? They went to Africa for work often to help ease the ebola outbreak or work with others in need and then they went on vacation because everyone loved the animals. He was taken from his bed in the middle of the night by a group that believed eating an albino would give them powers and raping a virgin would cure them of HIV and AIDs.

Levi and Erwin found them, and not to his knowledge, macheted them down in their tents while he waited on the side of the village in the tall grass looking at the moon. It was traumatic to say the least but it wasn’t something he could live his life affected by. 

Well, he did. His albinism made him feel a lot of things. He was told by his Rabbi that because of this blessing and curse he had responsibilities. Rabbi Lubavitch wasn’t popular but he’d always taken time up with him. He sat down, Armin was crying on the floor, Erwin was trying to make it better. Zev resigned himself to breaking his parent’s hearts. 

”I just want to do something that matters. This is what I’ve decided to do. I’ve been thinking a lot about it. I asked uncle David for information.” Erwin and Armin went stone cold, “What? About what?” Zev felt odd, “About what the IDF is like? He was an officer…” Erwin and Armin knew from their son’s reaction David had said nothing about Mossad, that was the deal. No one tells their kids about Shin Bet, Mossad, Reiss, nothing. 

“And he’s known the whole time?” Armin hissed and Zev quickly defended him, “NO! He thought it was for papers for school or Rabbi Lubavitch or Berkovich.” Erwin and Armin both didn’t understand why Zev had attached himself to that man and not Berkovich. 

Perhaps, he thought that he’d be forced to marry one of his daughters or something and Lubavitch seemed less frightening? They didn’t like him for what it was worth, “I don’t think this is a good idea but if you’ve committed then you need to keep your word. Keita is already serving. I guess you’ll be with him.”

Zev and his parents continued the uncomfortable conversation that ended with him in the shower, tears staining his cheeks, and the sound of Gisela’s last song over the speaker of his phone. Would she be proud? Would she accept it? What was she doing right now?

************************

“Gisela!” She gripped the phone in the apartment, “Aba, the money isn’t going to come through.” 

“Why!?” 

Levi was staring at the invoices, his money that was supposed to pay for his daughter’s living expenses was going to some department in the French government, “Gisela, tell me what’s going on!” She was shaking as she leaned against the wall. Nikko was smoking, his rage building, Aviva was standing near her with bloody bandages she’d removed from Gisela’s feet.

“Aba?” She closed her eyes clenching them, hand shaking, knees going weak, “Haven’t you heard?” Her voice was sarcastic and mimicking someone else’s, “Jews can’t have more than 2,000 Euros in their possession.” She swallowed thickly, “the apartment counts as all of our possession. They’re letting me stay in school along with Nikko and Aviva but we can’t work at all. If we do, they’ll come down hard.” Levi stood still as Eren waited for him to tell him what was going on.

“What will you do, Gisela?” He said the words slowly, carefully, “Don’t you dare do anything,” 

“Aba, Nikko can’t go out except to school and even that is dangerous. He sleeps in his office and Mila brings him meals. She can’t do anything either because she lives with us and they say she’s a Zionist. And she’s done something….they’re telling us-” 

“Who!?” 

“Don’t you know?” 

“No! They’ve cut off broadcasts and all information about France after the recent attacks. I tried to take the plane but they seized it from us for some bullshit reason and we won't get it back for at least a month.” Levi was so angry he had tears in his eyes.

His daughter, his oldest son, his Mila, his Aviva, they were all there and things sounded desperate and that’s something he knew about, he knew she’d feel desperate, “I can get by. Aviva and I can handle it.” 

“Please ,Gisela let me think of something before you do anything.” 

“Life’s hard right now and we don’t have enough to eat because any day they’re going to come down on Mila and her boyfriend can’t be trusted. I’m making the only choices I can and I’m going to survive, we’re going to survive. I can talk to people that work with Alexi. It’ll be fine, Aba. We’re going to be fine so don’t worry about it.”

Levi wiped his eyes, “Ha, there’s my Gisela Yael, just like your Baba. So strong and blind when committed. I love that.” He looked at an upset and teary eyed Eren who was now even more worried. She started to cry, “Aba, why?” 

“Why what?” 

“Why do they hate us?” 

He started to cry too, “I don’t know sweetheart. I don’t know.” 

“They say Israel created ISIS. They say that the Wall is Israeli. They say it’s because of the _occupation!_ What occupation!? HAVE THEY NEVER OPENED A HISTORY BOOK?! THE SAME FRENCH COURTS RULED ISRAEL AS THE RIGHTFUL LEGAL OCCUPANT IN THE AREA! WE ALWAYS HAD PEOPLE THERE!” 

She smiled but it was grim, a broken laugh, “How fucking fucked up is that? What is this disease, this anti-Semitism? It just has a new name, anti-Israel and anti-Zionism.” Levi sat down, “I know. I know, baby.” 

“I’m glad that Zev and Keita are in Israel. I have an audition in Austria in a few months and Aviva does too. But, I think we might go to Russia so we can be with Alexi and Lilly while they’re studying and that way we can get money and have it sent to Switzerland….oh God,” she closed her eyes and stifled a sob. 

Her mind was in overdrive and it was so like his, “I just want my degree, though.” 

“How quickly can you get it?” 

“Well, if they let me complete this month, another seven months. Same for Aviva. I won’t leave without her.” She was firm, he knew she would be. 

“She doesn’t have money either?” 

“No. I guess Daddy and Vati haven’t seen yet.” 

“Baby, write down this address and have Nikko go. He’ll work something out with him.” 

Judah came inside, sweaty from a run, “I want to talk to Gisela.” Levi turned to Eren and Eren nodded. Eren would do anything for their children, “I love you. Judah wants to talk to you.” She started to cry more, “Ani ohevet otkah.” Levi started to cry and handed the phone to Judah. “Hello? Gisela? Are you there?” He switched to Yiddish the moment he heard her sob, “I’ll come there as soon as I can.” She sobbed more, “I’m just happy to hear your voice.” 

The twins had an emotional moment, “You’re my everything. Please, what can I do?” She told him nothing, explained the situation and what she was thinking of doing that she couldn’t tell her fathers, “I don’t want you to do that!” He couldn’t stand the thought, “Judah, life is hard here right now. You know we’ve been slowly starving. We’re going to get out but it’ll take some time. Hopefully, there won’t be another attack and we can do the auditions, Nikko and Mila can keep working and graduate, we can graduate. We have to be positive but not blind.” 

Judah nodded, he looked over at his sobbing Aba and Baba who was stroking his back with such a look of frustration, “Yeah, G, you’re not blind. I’ve always got my money on you.”

************************

Judah’s eyes were stinging when he called him, “Gisela is doing whatever she can to feed them and keep them looking like they still have power.” Zev inhaled sharply, “What is she doing?” Judah bit his lip, “You know what she's maybe doing.” 

“Maybe and doing are two words that are not always together.” 

“She is probably sugaring.” Zev broke something and Judah snorted quietly, “Yeah, me too.” 

“Why call me?” 

“They took the plane. Jews can't go to France, can't leave France.” 

“I'm a Jew.” 

“I know, I know,” Judah nodded, “You're a clever Jew. Please, protect my sister. I'll do anything.” 

“You never have to offer or ask. I'll see what I can do. I love you, too, you know?” 

“Thank you. She's going to try other things so hopefully it will remain only a chance.” ***************** 

Sugaring was time consuming and eventful. Meet-and-play, meet-and-pay, and the important allowances. She was always moving to a different potential. She had a few daddies. Aviva was good, too. Some of them they actually wanted to sleep with and the others they got out before they had to. She was waiting for another POT to show up at a café. 

She had three months left and then she could graduate and move to Austria. She hadn’t started off as a sugar baby until a three months ago. Nikko and Mila were in dire straits and Aviva was sometimes getting beat.

Initially she smuggled drugs, took risqué photos for modeling agencies that left her identity a mystery since they didn’t want to be shut down for working with a Jew. It was ridiculous, this was France! France! How could they repeat the past like this!? Her family still couldn’t fly into France since there were talks going on between the US and France’s rightwing party president. 

They wouldn’t be able to come anyway since they were Jewish. Marco and Jean were able to meet her on the border of France and Italy. She took documents back in her coat that Aviva and she translated on the floor of their room in the apartment.

Mila’s boyfriend, she’d had many, was someone they’d all grown to hate. She knew he was looking at her more and more and Aviva had more than once been touched by him inappropriately. Keita showed up one day and they went for a walk. His hand was broken when he tripped leaving a restaurant and a car ran over it. It set him back in his program because he needed his hands in order to work. 

Aviva had crawled in her bed and told her that Keita had arranged it because he was hoping it would make Mila and him fight and she’d leave him. She kissed Gisela breathless and told her that her next POT needed to stay a secret or he’d end up the same.

Now she was [dressed ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/55/72/f7/5572f78b4fcd5c3dec8d25708c8560e1.jpg)to kill and waiting in a high class restaurant for a lunch date. He was hitting all of her requirements: 5,000 Euro allowance, sex negotiated if there was a connection, meet ups three times a week, private driver, and no questions about private life. She was hopeful, 5,000 coupled with Aviva’s would make it possible for them all to live with full bellies, pay bills, pay the extra taxes, the fees, bribe the people they needed to bribe, and keep up a lifestyle that they needed in order to keep their neighbors from breaking in and trying to kill them. 

Yes, counter to what was believed, if they looked like they were still powerful and wealthy then it was assumed that they were being left alone by the government and that made them untouchable to their envious neighbors. They even added a thumb print reader for their elevator. She was biding her time till things got better. Jews were used to waiting. She would wait.

When the waitress appeared she felt herself grow hot, the air left her lungs, she was winded but she couldn’t let him know that. She smiled as she introduced him and he sat down. She asked what he wanted to drink and not for the first time he was flirted with shamelessly. He asked for a dark Guinness beer and turned to her, “She’d like a vodka and grapefruit juice with a splash of orange juice.” 

The waitress smiled at [him](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/d1/ae/2f/d1ae2f41b526f4401a57f188594d6944.jpg), oozing seduction but he turned to her and she was off. Gisela sat back in her seat looking at him, moving her hair to the side and revealing her neck, “Why are you here?” He smiled, “Is that anyway to greet someone you were expecting?” She blinked, “You’re not who I was expecting.”

He smirked, “Oh, yeah. You were expecting this guy.” He held his phone up and she didn’t betray anything on her face. He knew she wouldn’t, “Gigi, Judah told me what you were doing and I have to say I was in Israel and the more I thought about it the more I realized that if you were going to do this I wanted it to be with me. At least we’re family.” 

She looked at him and he was serious. Their drinks came and he laid the money on the table, “I’m here for business. They don’t know who I am. They’ll only see me and you. They won’t think you’re a prostitute because you’ll be yourself, with me, like normal. I’ll pay and I’ll pay well.” 

“This setup is unnecessary. I think this is your way of getting to spoil me, control me, take care of me, and do your duty. It’s also a loophole for your morality. You could just get the money Aba and Baba would normally give us and bring it to me.” 

She was right and he knew it. But, he also had secrets to keep. He leaned back in his chair, “I know, but where would the fun be in that?” He gave her a wickedly dashing smile.

*******************

_A few weeks later._

He woke up and rolled over in the bed. She was awake and he traced her lips with his fingertips, “Why are you here?” He mumbled, “Lone soldier.” 

“Oh, okay.” She stretched and reached out smoothing her hands on her exposed stomach, “You know, I agreed to a sexual relationship if there was a connection in the ad.” He groaned internally, “I know. Its…” She rolled closer to him, “It's?” He chewed the inside of his cheek, “Why I had to come.” 

“So, it’s okay for me to sleep with women but not men?” He blushed and rolled on his back. She laughed, “How ridiculous. You were jealous?” 

“Maybe…” he mumbled honestly and she was a bit surprised.

He looked at her, “Are you wanting to have sex?” She snorted, “I’m kind of frustrated with the dry spell, not going to lie. Judah and I are similar in sex drive.” She smirked and Zev thought about how horney she must be all the time because Judah was consumed by the pleasures of the flesh. He looked at her, “I guess it’s not against Jewish law to pleasure you since you are in need and if you maybe think of it in the way that HaShem made us able to enjoy that side of…..” She raised an eyebrow, “You really need to let Lubavitch go. You’d be so free if you did.” 

He rolled over her, smirking, “Shut up.” He kissed down her neck, her chest, stomach, hips. He was between her legs and she felt like she was dreaming because this was all she’d ever wanted. He moved her legs, pulled her shorts off and gave her a dashing smile, her legs over his broad strong shoulders, “It’s all about you, G.” He gave her a lick, slow and deliberate. He moaned as he tasted her and she felt like her entire body was coursing with electricity.

He ate her out with the sun rising and light flooding the [ room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/bd/2a/11/bd2a11ad494db89193319474d74dd97d.jpg) making her even hotter than she already was. He was lost in her and he started to think about how everything he’d believed may not be a uncompromising as he’d thought it would be.

****************

 _Reiss_

[He](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/9d/fa/3b/9dfa3b387bb0a7eb8e0d2c17944c949f.jpg) saw the name on the metal plate and thought about what he’d come to understand from Mossad and Keita. He touched the smooth metal and looked around the quiet street. 

A little girl left the building at the other door and entered into her town car. She left at this time every day. He smiled, his hat obscured his face and he went inside pushing in a pass code code.

The stairs were covered in moss colored carpet. The banister dark mahogany. His leather gloves smoothed over the grain and he closed his eyes enjoying the sound and sensation. Zev opened them and looked at the dark black door with golden letters.

He procured a metal pick and inserted it in the lock turning it and the knob along with it. He walked inside of the foyer, three openings leading to different rooms. He headed straight for the bathroom at the end of the hallway. 

The door opened and he pulled his gun, silencer on, out of his pocket shooting the man. He fell to the floor.

He quickly made his way down the hallway and into the formal living room where he saw Nikko.

Nikko’s eyes were wide. He stood up suddenly and Zev froze, body twitched from adrenaline and shock. Nikko twitched. His mind couldn’t understand why Zev was here. The other target appeared and opened his mouth to call for help. Zev shot him and Nikko jerked as the bullet thudded entering his flesh.

A woman screamed and Zev turned around.

He didn’t kill women.

She was screaming louder and louder.

Zev panicked.

Then her screams stopped. She was shot through the eye and fell with a thud on the floor.

He turned around slowly to see Nikko holding a gun.

“You tell no one of this.” Nikko’s words were stern, “And you take care of my sister.”

****************

She heard him on the phone in the living room talking to a superior, “Is it Keita? I heard he got a promotion.” He waved to her telling her to be quiet. She pouted but understood. He was only in his grey Calvin Klein boxers and she stared hungrily at him. He took down some notes and then turned to her finishing the call. “No, he’s not my point of contact.” She tilted her head and went back into the bed room to sit on the edge and check her [phone](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/30/62/41/30624135c587f4618657dae865bcad8e.jpg) that was charging. 

He came inside, mind swimming with information. He was in France because he was trailing someone, trying to figure out how the Reiss family was being protected still. He was going to have to go back to Israel soon and he hated it. He loved spending time with her like this.

He walked towards the bed and saw a new [ring](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/29/fc/ea/29fceadba134f9f8d9cec893ef75814f.jpg), “Where did you get that?” She smirked, “From the other most important man in my life.” 

“Judah?” 

“Yeah, duh!” 

He smirked, “I was worried you’d kept your other daddies.” She gave him a hot look, “Never. Plus, you’re much better than they ever were.” 

He came before her and she reached out, tracing his cock in his briefs and watched as he started to harden from the attention and her head so close it. He couldn’t control himself around her, not anymore. He’d repressed and repressed how badly he ached for her all these years and now he was trying to come to terms with her being here, right in front of him, with her mouth wetting his hard cock. She looked at him and smiled, “Is this too much?”

He let out a shaky breath, “With you, always.” She pulled his briefs down slowly, “I just want to play.” 

“Play dirty is what you mean, Katzchen.” 

She smirked, “Meow.” He gave a short laugh and then she took the head of his cock in her mouth. 

She savored it. She sucked on it, tasted him, ran her tongue over the slit and around the glands. She knew that was the most sensitive spot for men and she loved how his hips shivered under her fingers. She pressed the tips of her black and gold nails into his white skin and she slowly took him all the way inside of her mouth to the back of her throat. She moaned and he doubled over slightly, “Oh fuck, Giselaka. Oh fuck.” She smiled around him pulling back and starting a rhythmic speed. 

She was sinful with the ways she moved on him and stimulated him. She played with his balls and made sure to edge him. He didn’t get to just come willy nilly with her in control. He hissed as she pressed teeth into his skin and she closed her eyes enjoying the taste of his leaking precum in her mouth. She bobbed off and he shuddered, knees weak, whole body flushed, “I'll let you come if you fuck my mouth.” He stared, mouth open, “WHAT!?” 

She laid on her back, head facing him on the edge of the bed. Her toes were cute and french tipped towards the headboard, “Will you fuck my face?” He was stunned and then he laughed anxiously, “Hahahahhahahahaa but that's degradation…..” 

“No, I like it. I want you to do it.” 

“I’m. …..I can't this time.” 

“Why?” 

“No, I can't.” 

“Okay.” 

She sat back up and he looked at her, looked at her shapely legs that he always loved to admire and, “But I can put lube between your legs and come like that.” He blurted out. She raised an eyebrow, “Only if you treat me nice, Wölfchen.”

He kissed her, swooped down and took her head in his hands as he savored her. She was so sweet and she melted into him and that’s what he wanted. He lifted her up and put her on her stomach on the bed. Her hair was pulled to the side so he could see her face and she pouted cutely when he walked away. “I need the lube, Giselaka.” She laid her head on the comforter and waited, “I’m so lonely, Wölfchen.” 

Her tone made his knees weak, “Not for long, Katzchen.” He slicked between her thighs using the lube before he watched her cross her legs at her ankles. When he slid his cock between her legs he thought he might black out, “Woelfchen?” Her sweet voice got his attention, “Yes, Katzchen?” She looked at him, “Treat me nice.” He was panting as he started moving, “I’ll do anything you ask me to do.”

**********

**A series of texts between Gisela and Zev**

G: Someone asked me what you do for a living. What should I say?

Z: I hunt aliens.

G: Aliens aren't real!

Z: Have you ever seen an Alien?”

G:.....No…..

Z: Youre fucking welcome. *** 

G: DUDE! DUDE! TURN ON THE TV! CHANNEL 39! 

Z: WHY? 

G: DO IT! 

Z: HOLY SHIT! DANCING HAMSTERS! *** 

G: I’M SO MAD AT YOU! 

G: Btw I’m sleeping over on Thursday. *** 

Z: There’s a guy who just put a whole chicken tender in his mouth and then turned around to look me dead in the eye. I feel like he just claimed alpha. 

G: Top it. Put an entire chicken in your mouth. Do not chew and maintain eye contact. Then swallow it. YOU are the alpha.

***

Z: Wanna sneak into a rated R movie? 

G: I’m 20 and you’re 23? 

Z: U right *** 

G: I’m just going to ignore you. 

Z: You can try but in 5 mins you gunna miss me. 

Z: But for real don’t pls I need your love omg G I will die pls like me *** 

G: Bye 

Z: Sayin bye like you gunna go somewhere girl. Sit your cute attitude having ass down.

***

Z: I wanna cuddle and touch your butt 

Z: I love your butt *** 

G: FIGHT ME! 

Z: HITS YOU 

Z: WITH MY LIPS 

Z: ON YOUR LIPS 

Z: SOFTLY 

G: If this is how we’re gunna fight I like it. *** 

G: I love our cute texts but can we please get dirty? 

Z: What do you mean? 

G: Like, sexting. 

Z: Oh 

Z: How does one sext? 

G: [picture message](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/2f/df/b7/2fdfb7efbfc7c6d6fe0f04d3a69d8ad1.jpg)

Z: damn gigi all i got right now is a hard on and pics of tiny animals 

G: I mean...I just want to be sexually dominated…. 

Z: So like...I have your permission to send sexual things? 

G: Yes, you have my permission. In fact, your goal is to get me soaking wet everyday. I want you to be fucking dirty and make me feel like a cute little cock slut. Pretty please?

Z: Well, okay, I hear what you’re saying. I will do my best to make you wet and horney with your consent. 

G: You sound like Yoni. 

Z: I’m just trying to be a good Jewish boy who respects women. 

G: Well, respectfully make me submit and yet at the same time worship me. 

Z: Oh….well, when you put it like that then I feel like I might be able to do this well. I literally worship you. 

G: Awww that’s sweet. 

Z: You’re sweet :D 

G: Make me squirm, maggot! 

Z: My tongue can do a better job of teasing you than my words 

G: Quality shit right there. That’s what I’m looking for. *** 

Z: You look good when I’m choking and fucking you. *** 

Z: What’s your favorite thing to look at? 

G: You going down on me. *** 

Z: I’ve had a hard day at work, katzchen. So, I stopped by sephora to get you some things and when I get home I want you to sit on my face till I drown in your wet pink pussy.

G: [I’m ready.](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a0/10/cc/a010cc1f7549ef12cec17d71682727ca.jpg)  
***

Z: You’re so cute I could just eat you out 

Z: I mean up 

Z: No I don’t *** 

G: All I can do is think of you 

Z: Awwww mami 

G: Fucking me 

Z: That went from sweet to hot in no time. *** 

G: My food is too hot to eat 

Z: You’re too hot but I still eat you 

G: Fuck, I wish you were here right now. 

Z: Did you get the [flowers](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/95/13/c2/9513c265ebc99c65017ca126a7a81a8d.jpg)? 

Z: The [jewelry?](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/67/92/34/6792348f2307e16412278cba2b836b52.jpg)

Z: The [bag?](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/8c/11/3b/8c113b4ec551a71fa9879b32640c5f94.jpg)

Z: The [unicorns?!](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/50/8b/8e/508b8e45a407247b1436d6664baad182.jpg)

Z: DID YOU GET ALL OF THE GIFTS BECAUSE I NEED TO KNOW?! Mami gets what mami deserves and you deserve the world, kitten.

***

Z: Can I have tasteful pics? 

G: Ummm not sure wtf that means….but…. 

G: [=picture message](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a2/82/80/a28280fb9b148c89c15ebd9237398d86.jpg)

G: [picture message](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/49/16/4a/49164a520aa7c6834900a6fcc35ca463.jpg)

Z: Oh fuck, yes. That’s what I wanted.

G: Why? 

Z: I’m making these my phone screens so I can see you all the time. 

G: Awwww *** 

G: I’m gunna go shower 

G: brb 

Z: Don’t touch yourself inappropriately 

Z: That’s my job. *** 

G: Are you my sugar daddy? 

Z: I was your sugar daddy and now I’m more of a….you’re my ward. 

G: Like an old Englishman? 

Z: I’m just trying to take care of you and treat you like a princess 

G: Why you? 

Z: I think it should be me and not some random person because I’ve known you forever and clearly am suited to take care of you. Also, I’m the most awesome person in the world. 

G: I’m more awesome 

Z: Only a little bit more awesome 

G: Come here and spoil me, Woelfchen 

Z: On my way ********** 

She sat on the cold concrete stretching. A girl she’d grown to like during try outs walked by and handed her a hot tea, “You're...the sound….” She didn’t speak any English and that was fine. Gisela and she had only spoken with their eyes. Turned out she was Hungarian but knew German. She told her that her voice had been truly magnificent and her dancing spectacular.

Gisela thought about what that might mean. She’d be leaving France but what about Mila and Nikko? They drank tea and talked about where she’d be going. A few people passed and then it was time to look at the sheet. Gisela thought about what had happened the other day at the dance try outs.

A girl was in her dressing room.

Aviva had gone off for singing so the blonde hair was shocking to see.

She turned around, smiling, “Hey.”

She spoke in kind words. Her tone was soothing, almost hypnotizing but the feeling in Gisela’s gut told her this girl meant her serious harm. She stood up to walk towards Gisela. They were having a conversation but Gisela was looking around at the windows and doors in the small cinderblock room. She asked her to leave so she could change but the girl seemed stuck to the floor. Gisela left and headed over to Aviva’s room much to the chagrin of her roommate.

She danced all day rigorously. Her feet screamed at her. One of the landings went wrong and she snapped her ankle. She had to not let on or they’d cut her. Luckily she would heal by tomorrow when they wanted them to do the steps while singing. She wrapped it, drank some water, ran her shoes over glass, and called Aviva.

She sat in Aviva’s changing room stretching when the light went out. Gisela was no prey. She was a hunter. This girl was obviously sent to hurt her and why she had no idea but she’d find out. She stood up, limping but healing. She opened her phone and saw there was no service but that was okay. She turned on an app and placed her phone on the small ledge created by a metal heating pipe.

She waited by the door with a metal extension rod.

The flash went off every five seconds.

She waited.

Her breathing labored.

The door opened and the girl stepped through.

The light blinded her.

She never saw the metal rod coming.

Gisela Yael Ackermann was supposed to be an easy target.

*

She woke up, hanging upside down, naked. Her vision was blurry and her head pounded from blood rushing to it. She saw Gisela sitting in a chair, legs crossed, “I don’t have time to play around. I’ve got to get food, go home, sleep, and then tomorrow I have to get up early again. I shouldn’t be speaking. So, that’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to tell me who you are, where you’re from, what you do, and why you came after me.”

The girl gave her a defiant look.

Gisela raised an eyebrow. She looked just like Levi, “I can make you talk.”

She stood up, “You’re actually really pretty. But, something about you makes my stomach knot up.” She went over to a set of jumper cables, “If I had never met you I could be at home in bed with a man whose skin glistens like marble and arms that wrap endless around me or a girl whose eyes are baby blue and lips soft like satin. I’m really starting to hate you.”

***

Keita called her, “How are you?” She hummed, “Hungry.” He leaned against the wall of his apartment. She leaned against the window of the metro. Keita was swift like a river, “Just hearing the sound of your breath makes me feel better.” She smiled, “Tell me how the sunset looked today.” He smiled, his papers and pressures momentarily forgotten, “I’d rather describe the color of the flowers that grow now on my street. Or how the ocean is the exact same color as your eyes.”

She stepped off the metro and onto the platform. He was on the line and it made her feel more calm. She stopped at the opening of the street with the most food, “What do I want, Solomon?” He gave a small chuckle, “You want Chinese food. The one with the poppers and rice you like.” She picked up enough for at least ten, “I always buy too much when hungry.” He snorted, “It’s because we grew up with a thousand people around us.” She got to the apartment where they all stayed now. The dorms were not safe and Zev’s apartment was being renovated.

She entered and he wanted her to stay on till she was safely inside, “Gigi, say my name before you go.”

She smiled, “Keita.”

“No, the other one.”,/p>

“Solomon, Solomon, Solomon…”

He sighed, “Eat and sweet dreams.”

***

They both got into the opera and ballet house in Austria. Gisela and Aviva had a small party with just the family. Mila smiled while Nikko sang songs. [Zev](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/5c/21/ad/5c21adf5942089eb940432e48ab3c19e.jpg) ran his hands through her hair and pulled Aviva into a crushing hug.[ She](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/5a/f3/e4/5af3e483eb8516d907a2c3e6b0a47fdb.jpg) was sad and told him so.

“Why, Katzchen?”

“Because your apartment and work is here in France.”

“I...don’t worry about it. Something will work out.”

She pouted, “You can’t just change your station.”

He thought about it, “Shut up, Katzchen. I can do anything I put my mind to.”

He handed her a box, “Happy early birthday, Katzchen.” She opened it and pulled the [necklace](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/28/d9/21/28d921696abc2171b084bced61df54d2.jpg) out, “Is….is this part of your inheritance?” He shook his head no, “It’s something we saw in Israel, remember? In the store on the corner by the Lavie apartment.” She smiled and jumped up and down, “You spoil me!” He laughed, “Which is the point of our arrangement.”

She kissed him. ********** 

She’d left France and he’d followed her, gifts, flowers, money. He spoiled her and told her when she told him it wasn’t necessary he claimed he came from the same line of gentleman like his daddy and uncle David. His hands would sometimes roam her curves but he was still keeping his distance. She wanted to change that. She wanted him and she loved him. They were heading out to dinner and she was about to celebrate her birthday. 

”What do you think of lamas?” [He](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/3a/71/0b/3a710b2e01a5b5958766594d94884cbc.jpg) said when [she ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/3b/69/eb/3b69eb155519f725ca38e40e48184576.jpg)opened the door, “Um…they’re cute.” 

“What if I told you I saw something that made me think, “this looks like a lama and G would look great in it.” He smiled and she rolled her eyes, “What are you up to?”

He came inside with boxes of clothes and a rack following him, “Did you see Sebastian Lenz down the hall?” He asked off hand and she hummed, “Yeah, he’s in the choir. But I want an answer.” Zev sat down on the couch with a thud, “Pick something from the rack, Katzchen.” 

She walked over and went through the rack, “Is this my birthday gift?” He smirked, “Actually, I want to get you exactly what you want for your birthday so name it.” She gave him a coy look, “Anything?” She said the word and he shuddered, “Anything, Katzchen. Name it and it shall be yours.” 

She walked in front of him, “I want you.” She walked closer and he looked at her, tempted, he was so obviously tempted by her and she straddled him, her cute little top making it all the harder to resist. “You could just lift this dress right over my head and be done with it.” She purred and he swallowed hard, “This is…” 

“Not what you thought I’d ask for?” 

“I was going to say that this is most agreeable.” 

She kissed him, it was slow, hot, their lips were wet and they devoured each other, only breaking slightly for breaths. 

He pulled back, “I was going to take you to a show.” She smiled, “I’d rather you gave me one and then dinner.” He was nervous, “I don’t know…” She frowned and he couldn’t handle it. She gasped slightly as he lifted her dress up and over. He looked at her like a kid in a candy store, he looked at her like she was the most beautiful thing in the world, “You’re the…there are not words, you won’t believe me when I say this but you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen or will ever see. Gisela, I mean, HaShem only knows how to make a woman as perfect as you. You’re perfect to me.” She leaned back, “Do you like what I put on for you?” She was teasing, she didn’t want him to kill her chance of finally sleeping with him. “Yeah, Katzchen, I do.” 

She let him touch and pull on her [lingerie](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ce/b0/76/ceb076bc26a833800c96c4c4cf2059f4.jpg). He hissed as she rolled her hips around, “Gisela, you’ll drive me crazy.” She smirked and leaned forward, “Good, I want you wild.” He surged forward, kissing her breathless and onto the floor they went. Her back pressed into the rug comfortably. Her [ring](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/9c/13/81/9c1381380be5bafa5e12fecef4bbc8e8.jpg) shown on her finger. An heirloom that Nikko had given to her after hiding it from the police.

He went to her neck, hands roaming her body, he was over her and she was panting, “Please, keep being rough.” He smirked against her skin, “You like things a bit heavy, Katzchen?” Her [necklace](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/7f/f2/8b/7ff28b3271c2388202bcb6b0c06de99b.jpg) fell to the side. It was another gift he got her when she was in Israel visiting him for the first time.

“I want to eat you out.” He growled dipping between her thighs to breathe her scent in. She smiled, “No, I want sex, penetrative sex. That’s what I want.” He looked up at her, “You know I’ve always…held back.” She nodded, her hands on her stomach and neck, “I can’t force you. But, you asked me and that’s what I want. I want us to finally, you know…..” 

He turned his head, keeping eye contact, he was studying her, thinking things through on his own, he kissed and sucked on the inside of her thigh, “I want you to know, it’s not just sex. I don’t want to just sleep with you, Gisela. It’ll mean more than that.” Her heart was thumping out of her chest, “Zev, please.” He grew shy and didn’t reply instead he sat up and pulled her down beneath him. His hands roughly untied the side of her panties and he spread her legs. 

She gasped, preparing herself for him. He was everything she ever wanted in a male partner. He was huge, just like Erwin. He was strong, powerful, he exuded raw sexual energy and she had wanted him for so long. His face turned her on even more. His red eyes were burning as he looked at her. 

His fingers rubbed her clit and then delved inside of her, preparing her for him but it didn't require much. She was dripping waiting for him, needing him. He inserted himself and her breath hitched, she moaned lowly, so full, so happy and he hissed, a growl of “fuck” by her ear before he moved slowly, tenderly, till he found her relaxed and ready for more. 

He moved well against her and they were quickly in an unspoken understanding about the level of rough and tender they wanted. She learned he liked being in control and she submitted to him willingly. His giant form, so strong and domineering made her feel so safe and protected. He sucked her neck, rolled his hips, and his hands nearly bruised as they held her hips.

She gasped when he picked the pace up, “Gisela?” She turned her head, hair out in a fan on the floor, “Zev?” He looked at her, peered into her eyes, and then he jerked them up. He sat on the floor, put her in his lap, and he started bouncing her on his cock. She moaned, hair disheveled, “Oh God..,” She gripped his shoulders and kissed him hotly. Their tongues tangled together, his hands smoothed up her sides, gripped her breasts. He pulled away and leaned down to suck on them.

She whined wantonly as his hands gripped her ass, a few well placed spanks. Her head fell on his shoulder while he moved her hips and thrusted up into her, “Shit, Gigi, you’re perfect.” He kissed her sloppy and rushed. Her hand in his hair pulling at the roots to keep his lips on hers. She pulled back, “Do you want me to scratch you?” He grinned, “Fuck,” he moaned out, “Yes, Katzchen.” She scratched his back while she pressed her forehead against his. 

They kept eye contact as the came together. Gisela lost herself, his cock hot and thick inside of her making her squirt. He smiled, pleased with himself. He found her embarrassment amusing while she buried her face in his neck. They were covered in sweat, their smell prominent. “Oh, Zev. Thank you.” His hands came up, one on her lower back keeping her pinned to him, the other in her curly hair pressing her face closer. Zev wanted her to stay like this with him forever, “Gisela, I…” 

She kissed him and he didn’t continue. There was no point.

*************

[Zev](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/eb/52/11/eb52111f5077e7ad206f64efcff5eb45.jpg) had to head back to Israel and she stood at the airport terminal with her arms crossed waiting for him to check in, “I’ll be back soon, Gigi.” [She](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/13/02/1d/13021dc3536663524818c33a92fbf759.jpg) sighed, “I don't care.” He looked coyly at her, “You don't?” 

“Not at all.” 

He smirked, “Gigi, don't lie.” 

She stared like Levi. 

Zev pouted and she wasn’t moved. He turned, pouting more. She rolled her eyes and looked at the board, “I’m just here to pick Keita up.” Zev stood straighter, “I’m sad I’ll be missing him.” She snorted, “Well, none of you boys seem to ever manage to be in the same room anymore.” Zev frowned, “Gisela, your brothers, they-” 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” 

She didn’t and he didn’t know how to help her.

Ezra was strangely busy all of the time. It was like he was throwing himself into work so he didn’t have to do anything else. She spoke to Judah daily and he was trying to make money, stay out of trouble, blend in with normal society. It was hard for him. It was hard for her. But, they were aware of each other’s darkest parts and she made them promise to only bring them out every once in awhile.

But, Nikko. Nikko was a fucking tragedy. He would never do anything that would take him away from Mila. Aviva and Gisela agreed, they were like a live action romance novel and they just wanted to flip to the last page and make sure that they actually end up together and happy. Gisela wanted them all to come to Austria and have shabbat, just the kids, in her home. She wanted her brothers.

Zev walked towards her slowly, “Kiss me.” She stepped back, “Work for it.” He chuckled and fell to his knees, “Miss Ackermann, would you please bestow upon me the honor of a kiss?” She leaned down and kissed him. When he stood up she took a chance, “What are we doing?” he looked confused, “What?” She thought about her conversations with aba. She’d always asked him what he wished he’d done.

He’d told her that he wished he’d been more open, that he’d said things that were important, and that he’d asked more questions. Aba was blunt and crass but he became that way because of things not being clarified, not being acted upon.

She stood with her feet planted firmly, “What are we doing together? Are we dating? Are you my boyfriend?” She watched his white skin blush all down his neck, “I...I…” his timer went off, “Gigi, damn, I have to go now or I’ll miss the flight. Oh HaShem, Gisela…”

She waved her hands, “Go, go, go! I understand. Just...think about it and call me?” He nodded his head smiling, “Gisela, damn.” He grabbed his carry on and had to turn to start running. She couldn’t control it, “I love you!” He looked at her, turning his head back and then he ran into the security officer and tables, falling and pulling all the tablecloths onto the floor with him and paper flyers about safety floating around them. A loud pop and then angry yelling ensued. She covered her mouth nearly bursting into laughter as they pulled him into the line, bitching and whining about the sanitation process while he waved his military ID.

***

Shortly after he left she saw the board change and knew Keita would be there soon. She rarely got to see him by himself. It seemed they always had a baby sitter. She was dressed nicely and when [Keita](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/13/d5/83/13d5832aa3fdcf08044f8669a8bdf9f7.jpg) came up the stairs to the pick up area he grinned despite his attempt at staying cool and gave an appreciative whistle, “You’re looking marvelous as usual.” She had reached into her pocket after Zev left and found a [ring](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/f9/57/cd/f957cd53433ee6d7a6194f8e07b7f4ea.jpg).

The note said that it was something that Judah had picked out and she put it on. Keita had gifts, too. “Here is a late birthday[ gift](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/95/13/c2/9513c265ebc99c65017ca126a7a81a8d.jpg)

.” Keita was handsome, he was strong, and he was familiar. They fell into a nice routine of Talmud talks, Zionism, and Japanese history.  
*

They went to dinner a week later and [he](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/bd/98/cf/bd98cfd7c05726256c74ee57ddb5d4dc.jpg) told [her](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/16/a5/10/16a5103544f2b572dee14e2441bdf436.jpg) even more about his job at the aman and how beautiful Israel was. He talked about these things before but he was really describing things and going into such private details about it all. It was very unlike Keita. She could tell he was trying to sell her severely, “Keita, I love Israel. I’m not needing to be sold.” He sighed, he was very nervous, “Come move there.” 

She paused, blinking like Levi, “I just moved here.”

He exhaled sharply, “Come.”

She didn’t get it but the mood had changed slightly, “Why?”

“Because,” he paused, tone of voice changing, he was vulnerable, she realized they were in a very serious situation, “you’d be closer to me.”

She raised an eyebrow, she was coy, she was trying to see how far he’d take this, “I didn’t know you missed me that much.” She started to cut her schnitzel, her [necklace ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/6c/93/d2/6c93d2de293aa144d6850933549b3287.jpg)

[ “We talk a lot, Gisela.”](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/6c/93/d2/6c93d2de293aa144d6850933549b3287.jpg)

[

”Well, that is true. But, it’s always about politics. We’ve always been very compatible.”

“Do you think we’re a good...match?”

She drank her wine, “You’re acting rather strange. That’s such a loaded double question.” He looked at her, raised his eyebrow expectantly, “Answer the question.” She gave him a haughty look, “I would say we were. But, then again, we are family and you and Aviva,” 

“Don’t have a relationship anymore.” 

“Was that what it was?” 

“It was in a way. A non-relationship.” 

“How confusing.” 

“I know. But,-”

Her phone rang and she jumped, “I need to talk to Judah if he’s calling.” Keita nodded, “Of course.” He wasn’t that happy about it but it would be pointless to impede her speaking to her twin.

*** 

Another week and she'd heard nothing for almost seven in total. She felt like dying. Keita cooked and cleaned while she worked long hours and came home exhausted. Aviva was in Russia with Lilly for the week and Keita hadn't been very busy. 

She liked having him with her. He was comforting and they worked well together in an unspoken way. He seemed to still subtly push her about Israel and she found his insistence amusing. 

](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/6c/93/d2/6c93d2de293aa144d6850933549b3287.jpg)

[](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/6c/93/d2/6c93d2de293aa144d6850933549b3287.jpg)[Her](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/92/f7/f3/92f7f3cdec47ee8329e0da56976ae830.jpg) feet were sore, bruised from hours of ballet. [He](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/2c/8c/87/2c8c87f04041ce9979d8b93da55f7d57.jpg) made Israeli salad, chicken shawarma, pita bread, saffron rice, and couscous. They ate at the dining room table with the news on. He read the paper afterwards like his father. She thought he was handsome. He made sure to pour her tea. Keita and Gisela should maybe have not been born half cousins. HaShem was cruel sometimes. But, then again...what was half blood anyway?

Keita moved over onto the [couch](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/cd/f1/10/cdf110fa2b93c07f35c57a4970f4d559.jpg) pulling her with him. He put her feet in his lap and massaged them. She leaned her head to the side on the couch and he just kept his eyes on her feet and the TV. The shadows made his face more masculine, more appealing. She closed her eyes and then he said it, “I love you.”

Gisela didn’t know what to do. She’d known this day would come. Levi had had many conversations with her warning her about living in a complicated and large family. She had just stared. It was going to happen, like some sort of predestined car crash. 

She'd seen it in various visions at various places in time. She opened her eyes and he was looking at her, vulnerable and sincere, “I realize that it’s frowned upon, despised by some even. But, in orthodox communities people marry their cousins and honestly, we’re only half.”

He looked back down at her feet, “I’ve talked to a lot of rabbis and psychologists trying to get over it but even some of them have wondered what the problem really was. Ha, they say we don’t have to have children, we could adopt. The world is more open now but...I’m sorry. I’m disgusting. This is disgusting….” He stood up and she remained on the couch, “Keita, rationally, it makes sense. Of course, you sought help. So, let me say this: I’ve had the same thoughts. I always knew. But, I just told Zev I loved him. I do love him….”

He went into the kitchen to grab something to drink, “Is there any hope?” She stood up to look at him, “I don’t know. I think so….maybe” He hid his face, “I am the ultimate shame.” She heard her phone, “I think that might be Zev.” He nodded and she went to go get her phone. It was Shabbat. He should not be calling her and she should not be answering. 

****** 

Zev was sitting in a small room on a metal bed, mattress of clean white linen in the ultra orthodox section of Jerusalem called Mea Shearim. He held the phone, shaking. Her voice appeared on the line, “Zevka?” He closed his eyes, shut them tightly, he tried not to cry, “Gisela, I’ve called to tell you something important.” She inhaled sharply, “What?”

It was like time was passing him by and the sunlight from the window was blinding. The olive tree branches scraped the window in the wind, “I’ve gotten married and have chosen to become ultra orthodox. It is what HaShem has been leading me to do. I am now commanded to follow HaShem’s teachings to the letter and I will no longer be able to speak with a woman I am not related to. This is our last phone call. I know you will understand. This is my destiny.”

* 

It had been days. She finally opened the door to the hallway and he was there, looking at her. She stood there, tears running down her face, cheeks flushed, skin covered in sweat, starved and weak. He’d heard it, the pleading and arguing. He had known it was coming. Keita made sure he would be there when she opened the door.

He stepped forward, wiped the tears from her eyes and cheeks. He came closer and closer. So slowly that she wouldn’t scare. She inhaled shakily and then his lips were on hers and she was breathing him in, clutching to him for comfort. He pressed her against the wall and kissed her breathless.

He picked her up and sat her on the buffet near them and the plates and cups for sabbath fell on the floor, their metal tinkling and clamoring as their hands moved along the curves of each other’s bodies. He pulled her legs up around his hips and his lips knew no quarter as they moved against hers. He was a warrior and every act he committed was one of war.

She regained her sense of self and pushed him away, pushed him off her. She stared at him panting, “Get out.” He looked upset, “Out? And go where?” She was wheezing, “Get out for a little bit. Get a coffee just…” she was rubbing her chest, he knew that tick, “Just fucking leave, Keita! I can’t! I CAN’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT NOW!” She sobbed, holding her head in her hands.

He grabbed his jacket, “I’ll be back in an hour. _One_ hour.” He emphasized it and she shook her head.

When the door closed she sobbed ugly and broken. She crumpled onto herself and collapsed on her knees on the floor, “Why!?” She screamed. Why had this happened?


	170. Ana Bekoach II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first post of this had something wrong with it. It completely put sections out of order. Let me know if there are parts randomly out of order and I'll change them. There will be a part III and I'm sorry for being slow. I'm graduating this semester and it's crazy.

The file was laid on the coffee shop marble top table, “Where did this come from?” Zev’s smirk caught the eye of a waitress and Reuven gave a short laugh, “Aman.” Aman was the military branch of the Israeli Government, “And did this come from Keita?” Reuven rolled his eyes, “That guy?” Zev nearly spat his coffee out, chuckling, “ _That guy?_ Yeah, that fucking guy! You know, our friend?! I’d like to know if my brother from another mother is now issuing orders.” 

He did want to know what Keita did in that fancy little office all the time. “So, you’re going to trail this guy, Chaim Dreyse. But, you’re going to have to get to the sister to do it.” Zev frowned, “Why?” Reuven sat back, “She’s hiding him. She’s the only one who can lead us to him or tell us where he is. You’ll need to infiltrate the house and win her confidence in order to do this. Remember, they’re not Haredi. They’re Satmar.”

Zev didn’t like that at all, “Okay, so...I don’t look Hasidic.” Reuven laughed, “Grow a little shadow of a beard, we’ll help with the sidelocks.” Zev smirked but he wasn’t as confident as he felt.

***

His beard had come in and they shaved it. Unwed men didn’t have beards and the side locks were interesting. He’d wanted to tell Aviva about them since she was all into that beauty stuff and Gigi would have been riveted but he was working. When he was working he couldn’t talk to anyone. It may be Israel, but he was in the field and on the clock. 

He walked through the gates past burning trash. They sometimes lit them to deter the entrance of police. This wasn’t exactly a safe place. He walked among the orthodox and actually felt at home. It wasn’t like he’d never wanted a more orthodox life, he just didn’t want to be so strict it made him hate others. A woman passed with a double stroller and five other children in tow. He wondered what Gisela would look like pushing a stroller. _She’d look beautiful and probably forgo it for a carrier since she’s got shit to do._

He was looking for Chaim because he was a member of the extremist group Neturei Karta. If they could get him, they might be able to gain a foothold inside of the community and then dismantle it. They currently had aid from from the Satmar in all regions and access to almost 3 billion dollars assets. It made them a threat and a very real threat. There’d been rumors they would give that money to The Wall.

Zev went into the temple not for the first time. He was trying to get invited to one of the lesser families’ shabbat. He had papers, extensive false papers and they had accepted him as a the poor orphan who wanted to find a wife and study Torah. When he finished praying and turned around a man was there, “Yosef? Would you do me the honor of spending Shabbat with me and my family?” Zev couldn’t believe it, “Yes, Rabbi Dreyse, I would love to.”

Two Sabbaths is all it took before he was familiar with the Rabbi and sitting next to him at the head of the table. Chaim’s sister Hadassah, she was called Hitch, was comely. She had long blonde hair and light highlights from Summers in the sun taking care of children at the daycare. She had pretty hazel eyes, peach lips, and her skin was smooth and fair. She looked at him though it was was not allowed for them to stare at each other. 

When he was invited almost every night over to dinner he started to pry more and more about the family. He didn’t want to go straight for Hitch, she seemed kind and little dim if he was to be honest. She wasn’t much of a talker, didn’t really have any hobbies. Nothing special in his opinion.

Her father groomed him to become one of the other young men that studied under him. It was long and tedious work that lasted into the wee hours of the morning. When he was leaving one morning she was there, “Um, Yosef? Could you escort me back home?” He blinked at her, “Of course, Ms. Dreyse but why are you out so early?” She raised her head, “I come every morning to take my little brother to shul. He’s so young but…” Forty percent of Israeli women are sexual assualted. He understood why she feared.

While that percent came mostly from Arab Israelis, over ninety percent of women killed by a family member were Muslim and that outraged him even more, there was a problem in the region and unfortunately women were the target. He walked her home and they talked the entire way though it was forbidden. She was flirty, talkative, maybe not educated but streetsmart and witty. She was a completely different person and liked to laugh.

***

“She knows!” Reuven was angry and he pushed, “the other informant says she loves you. Do what you have to. Get the information.” Zev found himself caught in a honeytrap, “She snared me. I’m no better than one of the animals Tuvia catches in his snares at his cabin.” Reuven was livid, “She knows you’re an informant but not everything.” 

“How did she find out?”

“I don’t know, brother. She’s a honey trap.”

“She doesn’t seem like a slutty girl.”

“She’s a _honey trap!_!”

He closed his eyes, “I hear you!” 

He looked at the medical [bracelet](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/33/2a/c1/332ac18b047f3a496f90b2d05b915171.jpg) Gisela had given him to replace his old one that had been worn and bent during basic and from just his rough lifestyle. She’d written an inscription on the back of it, “Your soul and my soul are very, very old friends.” *** 

Zev was now pushed against the wall of her bedroom. She'd come at him like a valkyrie. Her hands pulled at his clothes, “Stop, stop! What would your brothers think?” She pulled back, “They're little!” He looked at her exposed clavicle, “Then your older brother!” She grinned, “He's not here! He's with the community!” 

Zev looked her in the eye, “I'd like to join him.” She looked scared, “Do you love me? I love you, Josef. I love you.” He looked her in the eye, “Of course I love you. But, I want to meet your brother. He is a hero of mine.”

She looked down, “Only if you prove you love me.” 

He hated it but he slept with her and promised her the world. She gave him information and then he left to study more. Their walks were a common routine and he pretended to be so happy. She asked when he'd speak to her father about getting married. He told her soon, set a date even. He vomited in the bathroom of the shul. 

_Gisela Yael Ackermann, why didn't I tell you I loved you!?”_

**************

Keita wanted to help her but she was devastated. He kissed her neck. He was leaving the next day before dinner. [She](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/ad/79/55/ad7955c01095ee15fe597a715ce4e1a1.jpg) turned her head and kissed him. [He ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a6/e9/22/a6e92268f91e84abb541e19e8f162b59.jpg)pushed her gently against the door of the building they were going to have dinner at. She made a small noise in the back of her throat and he pushed harder against her. Her hands came between them and up to hold his face. No one knew them here.

Inside, he took her coat and ordered for her a stiff drink. She leaned into him and made small talk with another couple at the bar while they waited for their table. Keita felt content and he turned his phone off. Gisela sat with him at the table and they talked politics quietly while discussing some of the recent family gossip.

Mikasa and David were both traveling and Keita wanted to meet up with them, “You could come?” She looked at the table, “I’m not going to tell anyone.” Keita looked at her, “About Zev?” She nodded, I’ve only told Judah.” He looked at her cautiously, “And us?” She shrugged, “I don’t know if there is an us, Keita. I’m not sure how I feel about it. I’m not sure how I feel about anything.”

“I understand.”

“Do you?”

“I do. I will love you from afar or up close. It is my curse.” 

“If we have sex, will it change everything?”

He shrugged, “I don’t know. Do we ever know?” She looked at the waitress as she approached, “Can you make me forget how empty I feel?” She looked like she might break, “I can try.” The waitress took their order and she went to the bathroom to cry. Keita thought about how this was all going.

_Even when I’m playing the game and wrote the rules, Zev still somehow starts to beat me._

She returned before the food, “Is he happy?” Keita nodded, “From what I’ve heard he’s settled in and is happy. Ask me about it later. This isn’t the time. I’m being selfish but I’d like to enjoy my time with you. I’ll be unavailable for four months. Field work and such.” She smiled, “You’re right.” She began eating, “Sometimes, I think I should get my masters and Ph.D.” 

“I think that would be great. You could come study in Israel.”

She smiled demurely, “You could relocate here, you know. Your father works at an embassy.” She cocked her head to the side and he felt hot, “I guess I was always looking for a strong woman to devote myself to like my father. I’ll look into it. Hopefully, you’ll have an answer for me by then.” They chatted and went back to enjoying their night.

They went out to a speak easy where they grabbed coffee and watched a show. Keita kept her close and she laughed and made friends with some of the other show goers and that led them to a night out on the town in the discos and back alleys. When they got home, Keita was horney and drunk. He picked her up and carried her to her [bedroom](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/69/ee/1a/69ee1a6fa62cd4e8f68a9c72d1cac1b6.jpg). *** 

She made breakfast and lunch for them and they stayed in bed. Keita kissed her and she moved closer to him. He was familiar and there was a pull but the implications continued to ring in her head. Still, his hands pulled at her and she remembered how they had moved and tangled together a few hours ago.

She felt him push her on her back and he moved over her.

_Why did I tell you I loved you, Zev?_

***

He was waiting for his flight. They’d gotten dinner at the airport and[ she](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/c4/1d/d0/c41dd0a2ac3462e59880360407324667.jpg) was going to fly to Paris and spend the weekend with Nikko and Mila. He sighed, “I don’t want to leave. I’ve enjoyed my time here.” She hummed, “I’m ready for something new. I might go see Aviva in Russia. She’s been there only a few days. I could go from France to Moscow.” He kissed her, “Let me know what you decide.”

She looked at the TV, something in her gut was off. “Is that….ocean liner….was it hit by a missile?” Keita looked at the TV, “Oh, no, it’s the anniversary of that other one, right?” A man behind the bar heard them and yelled over, “It’s both. That Kronor that went down today and another one, Kronor II, got hit. It’s horrible. So many people are dead. That company is going to go under.” Neither knew anything really about Kronor I. “If you don’t want to continue our relationship…”

She looked back to him, “I imagine we’ll do what we’ve always done. I just can’t say yes or no right now. I know you’re having the same thoughts. Perhaps, it would push even our family too far. Perhaps, I need someone I don’t know so that I can thoroughly abuse them and then return to a normal life.” He suppressed a smirk, “I wouldn’t mind the abuse.” She gave him such a coy look. It was like Judah and promised a world of sin, “You’re not in that category. You’re in the “settle down for a normal life.”

He blushed, “I’d make sure you were happy. You’d never want for anything.”

She looked like she might cry, “You make life very hard with your sincerity.” ************** 

Nikko had a black eye and he looked like shit. She hadn’t seen him in two days and Mila had said he was traveling for business, “What’s your business, brother?” Nikko sat down in his office chair in the apartment. His desk was messy and unlike him, “I don’t...I’m not up to talking about it.” She stared, “Where is Mila?” Nikko looked up, “Isn’t she here?” He seemed panicked and she appeared, “I am, I am…..I’m right here.” She placated him and Gisela looked around more at the apartment, “This place….is fucking filthy.”

*

She started cleaning the apartment like her aba and shamelessly, trying to listen to Mila and Nikko. She was acting so strange. Gisela watched as Mila made over him by taking him in his bed room, helping him get in the shower, and then she started cooking, “What would you want to eat, Gigi?” Mila’s hands were shaking as she washed some of the utensils. Gisela opened the dishwasher and then covered her nose, “Oh! HaShem! These dirty dishes have just been sitting in there.” Mila dropped the forks and spoons and the clattered in the sink.

The water was still running. She bent over and stifled a sob, “I’m so sorry, Gisela.”

Gisela stared and then she got the tablet for the dishwasher, “Mila, go lay down in Nikko’s room.” She looked around, “Are his sheets clean.” Mila nodded, “Yeah, he’s not been here to sleep on them. They’re the only thing clean in this place. I’m so sorry.” She was crying and trying to suppress it. Her voice was defeated and desperate. Gisela took her by the shoulders, “Come on, I’m here. I’m here and everything is going to be fine.”

She laid her down in his room and covered her with a blanket. Then Gisela finished cleaning the apartment. She changed sheets, did clothes and used the washers in other parts of the apartment, and then she ordered food because there was no sense in cooking since they had nothing to eat! She went online and ordered groceries from the supermarket down the street. It had just started offering the service and she went to get them while waiting on their other food.

All in all, two hours later, she had a clean apartment, food for a week, and dinner ready. She opened the door to the master bedroom. Nikko had taken it as his when he first moved in. Mila had insisted. She now saw him in the bed with Mila. It was like they were children again. She woke them up and then Nikko helped set the table while Mila washed her face and changed into better clothes.

They lit candles. Said prayers. It just made them feel better.

Mila looked at the food but didn’t eat.

Nikko inhaled, “Mila….”

Mila started to cry again.

Gisela reached over, “Mila, please, what has happened?”

Nikko looked lost, “She’s….she’s upset because…”

Mila and Nikko decided not to tell the whole truth.

Just something that would change Gisela’s life.

“Gigi, Zev is married.”

Gisela grew hard, “I know. He called to tell me….that he will no longer speak to me, see me, or have any communication.” Nikko’s heart hurt for her, “And did he tell you more?” She snapped her head over to look at him, “No.” He took a deep breath, “She’s pregnant. He’s expecting a child.”

***

[She](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/87/53/f7/8753f7ece52ac9d79fa46d32809a6dfb.jpg) leaned against the bus window. The greens, blues, and whites of early morning colored the landscape of the city. Gisela’s face was streaked black from mascara. Her lips pouty and swollen. Her face colorless and her feet felt like they might be bleeding in her shoes. She closed her eyes and felt her phone vibrate.

“Hello?”

They got their drink and danced. They left kisses on each 

“Why are you on this fucking shitty ass bus at 6:33 am?”

Her face tightened up and she started to cry again, “Are you on this bus? Please be on this bus.”

There was a long moment of silence and he sat down next to her. He must have gotten on at the last stop. It was a large bus with two doors. She was at the front and hadn’t been paying attention at all. “I get a call from Nikko and I think, you know, I should just check out whatever the fuck is going on with him. And then I show up, unannounced, and the apartment smells like bleach and pine sol. Mila and Nikko are fucking acting weird and then they say you’ve gone missing. So, how about we get off this bus and we go back to the apartment and you tell me what the actual fuck is going on?” She sobbed, “Okay.”

*

He sat by the shower while she let the water run on her, “He has severed all communication with me, is married, having a baby, and I….it came out of nowhere. Now, Mila and Nikko are just...they’re acting like they have no idea how to function. I can’t even begin with it. I slept with Keita.” He made a noise of pure surprise and shock, “You….what?!” She curled up in the shower, “Please don’t get mad at me.” He got in the shower with her to hold her, “I’m not mad. I could never be mad.”

*

He got her a drink and kissed [her](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/7a/29/27/7a292726d27d305ec75a36c071b1bab1.jpg), “I don’t like those men in the corner.” She turned to look, “I know. They’ve been trailing us.” He pushed her towards the opening of the bar and when a crowd walked in front of them they went through the opening and into the kitchen. They left out back door. They ran down the alley and managed to catch the metro before it’s last round.

*

”There was this girl when I was at try outs…” Judah ran his fingers through her hair, “In the basement of the club I….” She turned to look at him, “I know. But, you should use part of the basement for what Maxim and Ilya proposed.” He stroked her face, “I will never leave you.” She smiled, “I will never leave you.”

***

Judah came back to bed. His body exposed to the light coming in through the windows. She was covered in sweat. He got back in the bed and pulled her into his arms. His lips against her neck. She stretched and a small noise escaped as her mouth fell open. His hands smoothed down her body. He knew every inch of her, “Will you see Keita again?” 

She rolled in his arms to press her lips against his chest, “I think you’re the only inappropriate relationship I’m allowed.”

“He’ll be really upset.”

“I know.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t be so quick to cut him out of the running.”

“Maybe you should take some time…...maybe we’re all we need.”

She hummed and then laughed softly, “You’re so possessive. Of course, we’re all we ever really needed. We’re one soul in two bodies.” She moved closer, “Never leave me.”

Judah closed his eyes, “I will never leave you.”

***

[Gisela](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a1/01/50/a10150af2f5a609a8732ea1914e1410a.jpg) and [Judah](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/14/ad/2a/14ad2a30433a512e7b87f0cbf44d3ab7.jpg) stood at the airport in line waiting for their flight to board. “I hate her.” Judah groaned and Gisela pulled at her clothes, “I might have an attack.” Judah paused, “Did you take your medicine?” She shook her head, “I ran out of it.” He reached in his bag, “I have some left.”

They’d been having attacks more and more. It scared them. They didn’t talk about it with other people and only their private doctor knew. He was a well kept secret.

She looked at him, “Are we going to be like Aba?”

Judah shook his head, “We’re fine. It’ll go away.” He sounded like he was trying hard to believe that. He had them the most when she was away. “Judah….Judah do you think that it’ll-”

“We’re boarding.”

He kissed her, “Please, not before we get on the plane.”

She nodded, “I’m excited to see Alexi and Lilly. Oh, and Aviva.” She smiled and he rolled his eyes, “Disgusting whore bitch.”

***

“I was only able to take off for a few days. I think I’ve got a tear in my leg.” [Alexi](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/22/7e/73/227e734614ce7c82b4d85334eddb5f44.jpg) turned his leg out to Judah. He pulled his cigaret away from his mouth, squinted his eyes, and looked at his leg. He moved his hands around and looked at the leg, “I’d say you're right. You got any of the serum?” Alexi nodded, “I was hoping to not have to use it. Dark days are ahead.” 

[Aviva](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/71/3e/2a/713e2a4bcc1f21dacca836cbf516e83f.jpg) and [Lilly](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/0f/3d/9c/0f3d9c0d2d1b47a8855cd51c897c504f.jpg) appeared, “Where’s Gigi?” Lilly was all smiles and sunshine, “Oh!” Her face contorted, “Alexi! WHY DID YOU COLOR YOUR HAIR?” He smiled, “I like it.” She inspected it, “It’s really nice but I loved your red hair.” He smiled, “Well, it was getting me a lot of negative attention. People still hate redheads.” She sat down and Aviva ignored Judah. When Gisela appeared, she stood up and hugged her, “G! I LOVE YOU!”

*

They went back to Alexi’s [apartment ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/96/71/27/967127cb24556044ae1d35c2a87f0d9e.jpg)but it was small. Judah looked around, “It’s nice. Really nice.” He smiled, “Want to get a tattoo while the women visit with one another?” Gisela frowned, “I might want a tattoo….” Aviva and Lilly all rolled their eyes, “We’re going to go see Lilly’s place at the school.” He nodded his head, “She won’t be there long. We’re getting an apartment together.”

They got their coats and the boys walked them to the university before the tattoo shop. Lilly led them to her [dorm room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/dc/a5/b8/dca5b84fc8a0a0d3646585c5671f6be4.jpg) for them to look around, “I’m really busy all the time now.” Aviva moved around the room and shifted her things. “I mean, you’re a genius like aunt Miki.” Gisela smiled and looked at the new samples and they all through the bed was innovative, “Tuvia hates it. Lore loves it. I think it nearly ruined their friendship.”

Aviva looked over at Gisela, “Are you okay?” Gisela nodded, “Of course.” Lilly inhaled, “Well, how about we go look at pretty boys and objectify them?” Aviva laughed, “Oh yeah, let’s end sexism by becoming the threat.” Gisela didn’t understand but when Lilly took them to the indoor pool and recreation center she did, “Holy shit they’re hot.” Lilly giggled, “They’re going to the olympics.” 

They all giggled but Gisela didn’t think there would even be an olympics this time.”

*

Judah had a [tattoo](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/90/c9/e4/90c9e44b51bb4e1d4592111619c092ac.jpg) that Alexi drew himself placed on his neck. He liked that Alexi had the same talent as Maxim. Alexi was getting a large piece on his [leg](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e8/9f/73/e89f73bffda4289fcde5ef0d11bb5a85.jpg), “I mean, I’m going to use the serum and I’ve got a few days off. This will be the only time I can get it done.” Judah enjoyed the pain and felt calm for once, “Gisela looks well. Is she?”

Judah frowned, “Why are you asking?”

“Because something tells me that something has happened.”

Judah opened his eyes, “How much do you know?”

“Not much. I heard through the grapevine. So, Bellamy who heard it from Tuvia, who heard it from Yoni, who heard it from Keita. Lilly heard it from Mila who heard it from Nikko.” Judah snorted, “I haven’t spoke to him.” Alexi sighed, “I tried to call Zev but nothing.” 

“Only Yoni has gotten him.”

“If you call he’ll answer.”

“I don’t know. He knows I’m Gigi’s other half.”

“But, he’s always loved you.” 

“Yuck. Stop.”

“He does! I’m pussy crazy and Zev is too, for the most part. I think he’d like to test out the other twin and mark that off his bucket list.”

“Gross. Never gunna happen. I’ll be busy drowning in pussy myself.”

“She’ll be okay, right?”

“I’ll make sure she’s okay.”

“Can I hit on her?”

They both laughed. Alexi didn’t mean it. He was just trying to make things light again. Judah knew he was just concerned. He was making Lilly move in with him. Any pretense of a choice was all show. Lilly was precious to him and Judah knew that with the rising tensions and attacks on university students he wanted her at least in a home setting with him.

They finished up and it was getting late, “Dinner?”

Judah sighed, “Yeah, but the girls will want to get dolled up.”

Alexi shrugged, “I’d like that. Two of them share no blood with me.”

Judah deadpanned, “Lilly isn’t into me.” 

“Aviva?” 

“FUCK NO! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” 

Alexi smiled, “Great. I’d like to have fun with her. But, she’ll probably just keep to Gisela.”

Judah called them and they said they’d get ready for dinner and for a night on the town. The boys got coffees for everyone and some snacks. When they returned to the apartment and found the girls sprawled out and getting ready. Judah watched as Gisela put her makeup on and he saw the signs of scratching on her arms and back. He wanted to wrap her up on a blanket and lock them in a room somewhere safe.

She turned to him and smiled. It was small and forced.

Judah went to the bathroom and cried.

***

“Bitch,” he was exasperated, “you’re going to freeze without a coat.” 

[Aviva](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/8a/f0/c0/8af0c0a7e32349d330492b12d6c3ff16.jpg) turned her head at the restaurant and looked at him coolly. Her fierce queen bitch in charge attitude on display. [Gisela](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/2f/b9/80/2fb980c7980c1fe2e4216a8a0cff124d.jpg) had a leather jacket and was sitting with [Alexi](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/d6/7d/04/d67d0433e62119b2077fee2ca3e24cb6.jpg). Alexi was telling her all about his upcoming season and how they were being watched for the olympics. She leaned against him and he was nice and platonic. She enjoyed that. Though, she was currently trying to fuck herself numb.

Aviva looked [Judah](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/36/7a/da/367adaad0d79cb4cfe3ff96d5f0a0f2a.jpg) up and down, “I’m grown. I’ll be fine.” He looked infuriated. He wiped his mouth, “You look like a fucking barbie doll hooker.” She smirked, “You look like a penniless hassid.” He stared at her and she didn’t waiver. They were melting each other’s faces off. He wondered if she had any panties on.

[Lilly](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/51/0f/78/510f7890fbafefb7c001e159402e3fdb.jpg) finished her drink, “I think that we should hit up the new club down the street.” Alexi nodded, “Sounds great.” He gave Gisela a squeeze and their food came, “In Russia there are rumors that people live in the trees in Siberia.” She looked up and he knew she was interested, “In the trees?” He smiled, “In the trees, da. It’s what they say.”

“They say this?”

“That is what they say.”

“Who are they?” 

“Who are they? They are them! The people who know things, you know?”

“Ohhhh the people who know those things.”

“I’m thinking of going to find them.”

“How?”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know? You _don’t_ know!?” 

“I guess I just want to do it but don’t have a plan.”

“Huh, you should ask the people who know things.”

He started laughing, his eyes had fine lines around the corner from smiling and laughing so much in his short life. He and Ilya were so similar. “I’ll ask my tatti and papa. Maybe they know something.”

Lilly looked over, a piece of tomato in her mouth, “Ask Bell.” Judah smirked, “When did Bell start knowing things?” Aviva popped him, “He’s always been smart. Unlike you, you neanderthal.” Judah pinched her and she slapped him, “Asshole!” He looked like he could eat her. Gisela became nervous, “Jude, please.” Lilly cut back in, “Wow just like home. Okay, so we should probably get along and maybe discuss how Yoni is still fighting like a Jewish Avenger in the states. They want to take our passports away, mine and Alexi. They say we’re of unknown origin and possible spies.” 

Alexi laughed, “Ha! As if we’d be any good. Have you heard Lilly get ready in the morning?!” Judah and Gisela looked at each other. They could hear the fear in his voice.

***

Alexi was making out with a nice looking girl who was his “biggest fan.” Judah thought it was funny and Lilly had found some boy from her class and currently was exchanging phone numbers. He was actually a pretty cool guy and Judah had drank with him and Lilly half the night while Gigi and Aviva danced together.

Aviva turned around and pulled her towards the bathrooms where people went to talk and have sex. It was all communal. Aviva wanted to ask Gisela about Zev. She pushed her up on a ledge and took her face between her hands, “G, what has happened?” Gisela stared, “Aviva, he just….he just cut me off.” She was teary eyed, “I mean...he must have fallen in love with her. He must be happy. He must be better off.” Aviva didn’t believe that. Zev sounded hollow and detached when she spoke to him, “We’re you two?”

Gisela grew hard, “He just pretended to be my daddy, Aviva. Nothing else. I guess I just thought he’d always be around.” She was shaking and Aviva kissed her, “Let me make you forget….at least for a little while. There is nothing I can say. Well, except some selfish things. Like, how I’ve missed the taste of you, the feel of your skin on mine, the way you understand me and support me. I’ve missed you. You’ve not come to me for a while.”

Aviva was gripped by her hair and Gisela pulled her in for a bruising kiss. She pulled back, “Maybe I should have stuck to you the entire time?” Gisela’s hands were rough in Aviva’s hair as they kissed and sucked on each other’s tongues and lips. Aviva panted when Gisela pulled back. They were sensual, feminine, and beautiful. Gisela’s marble colored nails looked stark against Aviva’s babydoll pink lip. 

Aviva kissed her again, her hands moved up from her hips to her breasts to cup them and Gisela pulled her closer and leaned back against the wall. Her legs widened and Aviva left kisses on her throat leaving bruises and bite marks while Gisela hissed and panted. Aviva pushed her hand beneath Gisela’s dress, her fingers pressing against her clothed sex where she rubbed and teased it with nimble fingers, “I want you dripping wet, G.”

Gisela pulled her back in for a searing hot kiss.

Judah had gone looking for her and came towards the opening of the bathroom. He saw Gisela’s mouth open in rapture as Aviva’s fingers moved in and out of her. He stopped, frozen in place. Aviva looked over and saw him. Her expression is what really made him stay. She smirked a little and returned to kissing Gisela’s neck. He shuddered and went to take a piss.

They moved into a stall Aviva went to her knees and pulled Gisela’s painties down, “Aviva, it’s so gross in here.” Aviva got up and smiled at Gisela. Gisela smiled back, “Dirty girl.” Aviva sat on the toilet and patted her lap, “Come on, pretty baby.” She put Gisela across her lap and her fingers returned to the moist and hot space. “Tight little bitch. Let’s see you squirm for momma.” Her fingers moved in out quickly, pumping and crooking inside of her. She moaned low and long.

Aviva crooked her fingers, pretty pink nails with jewels lost inside of her friend. She pulled them out, looked at how wet they were and split them to see the thin film between them. She licked her fingers and Gisela groaned, “Fuck, Aviva.” She inserted them again and pressed against the walls of her pussy to find that one spot she knew would drive Gisela to the edge, “Momma’s gunna make you come so hard, pretty baby.” Gisela did come and hard. They kissed each other’s shoulders throughout the night.

*

They waited out on the curb. Aviva took a drag of her cigaret before shot gunning it with Gisela. Alexi walked out but barely. Lilly was holding him up. Aviva was really drunk and so was Gisela. They were doing well standing but that was all. Judah came outside and Lilly had them a cab but she wasn’t riding back with them. She was going to see the boy who got her number. Gisela was better off than Aviva and she moved forward shakily to grab Alexi and get in the cab with him. Judah grabbed Aviva and kept her from falling over. She was shaking.

“Stupid girl, you’re going to catch your death.” 

“Shut up.” 

He was waiting for another cab. He took his jacket off and put it on her. She gave him a hateful look but pulled it tightly around her. He watched her out of the corner of his eye as he hailed a cab. He opened the door and she walked over like he was her servant. She turned her nose up at him. He rolled his eyes and walked to the other side of the car and got in.

She gave the address and he sat back.

“You disgust me.” 

Her voice was full of disdain.

He looked over at her, “You’re such a dirty slut.”

She turned to look at him and they stared into each other’s eyes. 

Her lips were so appealing to him. 

The driver pulled up on the corner, “Get out.”

The driver jerked, “What?” 

Judah looked at him and handed him some cash, “Get out.”

He liked the money and confusedly stepped out of his own car. The man didn’t want to go toe to toe with such a scary guy. 

She laid her head on the side of the head rest, “Don’t use all your cash, peasant.” 

He looked back at her hungry and annoyed, “Shut your dirty fucking mouth you little bitch.” 

He surged forward. His mouth dominating her. 

His hand went between her legs where he rubbed and massaged her listening to her sounds of protest. He was so hard after he realized that she was wearing a satin thong. Judah had a thing for lingerie. It was little more than a thing. 

She pulled back. Her lips wet and swollen. Her hand gripped his jaw roughly, nails pressing into his skin. She looked at him, slapped him. He groaned shortly, it was a sound deep in his chest. 

She slapped him again and he whimpered. Face flushed and body on fire. 

She slapped him again hard enough to make him taste blood. 

He moaned. 

“You’re a brute. A nasty punk who thinks he can take what he wants.” He squirmed and her breath hitched as his fingers went into her panties and then inside of her, “Your pussy is purring.” She slapped him again, tightened her grip on his chin and mouth. His mouth opened and she spat in it, “This pussy is gold. You can’t afford it.”

He pumped harder and she grew closer to the edge as they maintained eye contact, “This punk’s gunna make you come.” He kissed her again and she bit him. She undid her seatbelt and moved closer, her legs opening wider. He heard her moan and then she tightened up. She pulled his hair, her mouth opened in an orgasmic O allowing him to plunder more of her mouth. She sagged against him, panting. He looked at her, “Make yourself decent.” He waited till she had and they both started to fade into exhaustion before getting out of the car.

Somehow they got inside and she tried to open the door, “Get the fuck away from me.” He took the key from her, “You’re such a dumb fucking bitch. Keys aren’t that fucking difficult.” 

“I hate you.” 

“I hope someone carries you off one day.” 

They got inside and Alexi and Gisela were asleep up in his loft. Judah pulled the sofa bed out and tossed her on it. She looked at him as he grabbed a blanket and pillow, “Where are you going, fucker?” He turned around, “You get the bed, princess pussycat.” She looked at him with suspicion, “This is a queen.” He took his shirt and pants off, “I’d rather die than share a bed with you. You’ve got mites and whorebugs.” She was red, “You’re pathetic.” She spat to show her disgust. He turned around, “You missed my mouth, baby.” She seethed, “Come a little closer.” He smirked, “Don’t tempt me. Your spit tastes likes pop rocks.” 

He fell asleep in the tub.

In the morning, neither remembered what had happened.

Gisela and Aviva were thick as thieves, holding hands and exchanging sweet kisses like their baba and vati always did.

***************

Hitch looked scared as he entered the room. She looked up at him and was surrounded by her mother and sisters, aunts and cousins. He went to the room with the men and the door shut behind him. They sprang forward, chloroform ready. He was outnumbered by over thirty. The fight for his life had begun. *** 

He woke up, tied to a chair. Rabbi Dreyse sat down, “We know what you’ve done. We know you’re an informant for the government as well.” He started to cry, “They told me they’d give me money and security. I had no choice. I’m an orphan.” They all moved in the room to sit down, “Then I’ll offer you a way out. A way that HaShem has shown me. You saw my daughter in the other room?” 

Zev said nothing but nodded, “Well, she wants to marry you. I can tell you she’s been rather taken in you, Josef.” One of her brothers moved, “But, you have apparently seen fit to only partake of the flesh and not wed her.” Rabbi Dreyse sat back, “Have you slept with my daughter?” Zev could lie and he should. He should say that they have only ever had a spoken relationship and she is a fine young woman.

But the brother spoke, “There is no sense in this. Yes or no. She is pregnant. She say’s you are the father.” He wanted to throw up. He never wanted to actually have a child least it have the albinism, “I have. I am so sorry.” They spoke in murmurs and then it went quickly. A marriage was arranged for the end of the week. He was brought into the family but he was also asked to turn on the Mossad and become a double agent. When he was united with Hitch he gave her pearls from a shop in Tel Aviv. She smiled, “I love you.”

***

“Who is she, Josef?” Hitch held up a box of pictures. Gisela was in many of them. He had hidden them well. She was a good snoop. “Those aren’t mine. They’re from a friend of mine who needed to store them. It’s his family. I have never looked at them and feel I should not.” She closed the lid, “It’s a nice apartment.” They had just moved in, “Thank you. It’s modest.” She smiled sadly, “I’ve never had so much space.”

She’d lived in an overcrowded city in an overcrowded family. He’d always loved his lack of space in his family. But then again, they had what some other families didn’t. They had love.

She put the box down and walked towards him, “Can I make you anything to eat or?” He smiled, “No, I’m fine.” She kissed him and went to the kitchen to finish preparing for sabbath in their own home. He wanted to weep in the bathroom but her brother was coming. Her brother Chaim. His target. ************** 

Chaim was a pretty handsome man with hazel eyes like Hitch. He seemed to really love his sister and he brought her gifts of the personal nature and for the home. He summed Josef up as he began the prayers and noted the strong build and happy go lucky smile. “Would you mind if we talked about your understanding of the world and Torah?” Josef smiled, “That’s a big topic.”

Chaim and Josef spoke until late in the night. They didn’t go to temple. Hitch seemed to enjoy that her husband stayed for shabbos with her in their apartment. Chaim noted she seemed extremely happy but that every now and then she’d look at the clock and then squirm, “Chaim, Josef, I’ll have to leave early in the morning to pick up things I ordered for after shul.” Chaim pushed her, “You ordered things?”

She made a face he was familiar with. All sisters could make that very same face. “I wanted a special Shabbat. It’s not every day your favorite brother comes.” She pinched him, “You could, you know, get married and give me a sister-in-law that I’d actually like.” 

“You don’t like David’s wife?” 

“Or Meir’s.” 

“Well, I’ll try and make a good choice.”

Josef seemed pleasant and taken with Hitch’s every word. He also seemed sad.

*

As they walked to the shul, Chaim asked him about it, “Why are you sad?” Josef lowered his head, “I am not sad. I have a beautiful wife, a child on the way….I’m the happiest man in the world.” He nodded, “Hitch says that when she first met you that you said I was your hero.” Josef laughed, his eyes had fine lines around the corners and Chaim thought they were endearing, “I must admit you are.” Josef became vulnerable, “Honestly, it makes me sad that my child will be born in this farce of a state. No man can create Israel. Only the Messiah.” 

Chaim decided he liked his brother-in-law a lot.

*

The door opened and he looked up, his heart lurched and he expected to see someone else but her. She paused, let the door close and looked around, “I called in an order out in the goyishe part of the city. I thought you’d be heading to shul.” He opened his mouth and then closed it. What was he going to say? Why did he feel this way? The door opened again, bell tingling.

“Am I too late?” She, the new girl, whispered running up to the counter. He smiled kindly, “No, I put it back. You always make me break the sabbath!” The first girl walked forward, “You look nice.” She smirked and her tone lifted at the end hoping the girl would tell her it was due to some scandalous reason, “I slept at work. Long hours. Ima is going to lose it.” She grabbed the bag of breads and sweets, “Thanks.” She walked to the other girl and kissed her cheek, “You’re glowing.”

When she left he cleared his throat, “I have your order.” She looked up, “Why? I thought you’d…..not.” He looked at her, “I...it was habit. You’ve always had a standing order. Why would this be any different?” She frowned, “I’ll try and keep my order.” 

“I hope you….do.”

***

“In the world, Jews only make up a small portion. The Mossad seeks to endanger us and to prevent us from making more “true” Jews. We need chasidic believers and followers. We need those who are committed to the cause of destroying the government.” Josef was on fire, “If I can get you information then can I watch it burn?” Chaim smiled, “We will purge this earth. Have you heard of The Wall, brother? We should discuss it. That’s what I want information on.”

***

Zev walked towards the corner, quickly. He had written it down, recorded it, all of it. Chaim was a danger but what he wanted was ludicrous and also perfect. He saw a woman, very pretty, dark blonde with golden highlights. She had pretty lips that reminded him of Gisela.

_His heart hurt so much he nearly screamed._

She nodded and they went inside of a store and towards the back. They went down the stairs and she opened a door, “Let’s make this quick.”

He sighed, finally feeling more like himself. Hitch had woken up that morning and started making their apartment a home. She was so excited about the little things. He noted that she still left in the mornings to walk her brothers but they were in a much safer part now and he worried less. He was curious about the health of the child and had asked to be informed of any tests they could do to see if it was like him.

Hitch was comely and this officer was too. She was very much a beautiful woman. No one compared to Gisela in his mind but she had a special quality about her. She even made him feel strange, she made him feel like she was-

_That's impossible._

“We can’t give them any of that information.” She had listened to his request and he nodded his head, “But, we’re going to.” She gave him a cross look that looked like “oh yeah, whatever.” “No, this is classified.” He looked at her, “I’m going to give them information that’s going to take care of itself. I just need you to make it look believable. I think that I can get The Wall to notice them and perhaps take care of them.” She shook her head, “Okay, I’ll take this back to Keita.” 

Zev took a deep breath, “I thought he’d come?” She blinked, “Oh,.....I’m sorry. No one told you?” He shook his head no, “What?” 

“He was shot. He’s in the hospital.” 

“WHAT?!” 

She stood up, “He was reckless. He’ll be fine. Here’s the information but you know, eat it and don’t let anyone else get ahold of it.” 

He decided to go see Keita but as he emerged he saw Hitch. Why was she in this part of this city? He followed her up to an apartment building. She seemed to not be looking for someone but instead looking at the apartment herself. He found that even more odd. She entered the lobby of the building and received some information and then came back outside. She then ran into his point of contact but nothing odd happened.

Zev made his way to to the hospital and tried to to put any odd feelings to rest.

***

Keita looked like shit, “I was on the phone and never saw it coming.” Zev sat back in the chair, “You look like shit.” Keita smiled and then started to cough violently, “Momma says I need to come back for a little bit. She’s freaking out.” Zev closed his eyes, “How is Gigi?” Keita had been on the phone with her when it happened, “You didn’t have to do it.”

Zev started to cry and Keita couldn’t stand it, ‘No...brother don’t cry.” 

“I love her. How will I live?” 

“Get Chaim and get out.” 

“She’s pregnant. I cannot abandon her or the child. I cannot do it.” 

“I don’t know what to say. I can’t help you unless you tell me how.” 

“I love her! I love her!” He stood up, “I love her!” He tore his shirt. 

“She can’t wait forever.” 

“I won’t make her. I will die in my bitterness.” 

Keita cough violently, “I don’t want you to. Listen, I’ll get an extraction and have you and the girl along with your child taken out of Israel. It’s the only way, Zev. It’s the only way you can live the way you want. These people….these Jews….they aren’t our Jews. They’re full of hate and elitism. They don’t know what it means to rejoice in love of their fellow brothers and sisters.” 

“Tell me….does she speak of me?” 

Keita didn’t know what to say. 

“No.” ******* 

She opened the door to the elevator and walked down to her apartment but her door was stuck. She was having a bad day. Some were good and some were bad, She closed her eyes after giving up on getting the stuck door open. Suddenly, there was a push and the door opened. She opened her eyes, nearly falling forward. A strong arm caught her, “Sorry, I heard you pushing.” 

Sebastian Lenz looked just like his father. He was tall, 6’4, with blue eyes, a strong jaw, broad shoulders, and built. He was a titan among men. Sebastian had some of the softness of Krista’s face, his eyes were more rounded like hers, long eye lashes. His blond hair was more golden than platinum. He spoke like Bertolt but she’d heard from others in the family he had penchant to get down and dirty verbally like Ymir. Two mothers and two fathers in one child. At least she’d been able to share her parents with lots of siblings. 

He reached out, wiped the tears on her cheeks away, “You should never cry. I’m a little freighted of whatever made you cry!” He told her to wait and went back to his apartment down the hall. He emerged smiling with a can of WD-40, “I’ll work on the hinges if you don’t mind.” She nodded, speechless. He didn’t ask her stupid things, he just made them better.

Gisela was going to get ready for Shabbat. Her food had been prepped and the brisket had been in the crock pot since last night. She looked at Sebastian, “Sebastian?” He was on his knees, now loosening some of the screws and working on the broken wood around the door. “Yes ma’am?” He smiled, his teeth were straight and white. She was holding a towel to give him in order to clean his hands of oil.

“In order to thank you for the door, would you like to stay for shabbat dinner? You don’t have to do any rituals or anything. Just free food and drink.” He smiled, “I’d love to spend the evening eating and catching up. We didn’t get to hang out a lot in Maria.” She nodded her head, “You were older and in public school.” He smiled wickedly, “And you were younger in private.” She liked his smile.

*

Sebastian fixed her leaking faucet. He also fixed her AC when it went out and a lot of other things. Sometimes he would get her lunch while they practiced and he always helped her stretch. His friends made remarks that made him blush when they were all hanging out together in the opera house. He sometimes wrote silly songs and sang them to her. Sebastian became a highlight of her day.

She was getting ready to go out by herself when there was a knock on the door. He was there when she answered, “Gisela, uh, did you know I don’t have your number?” She smiled, “Well, have you ever asked for it?” 

“I am now.” 

“What made you realize you didn’t have it?” 

“I wanted to ask you on a date and when I tried to call you it was just a void where your pretty name should have been.” 

She leaned against the door and held her hand out for the phone, “Such a shame.” 

He smiled, “Can I take you out or did you have another date?” 

She looked at him and shook her head, “I’ve got no other plans.” She asked him to come inside and made him a coffee while he waited. He told her to dress nicely and she made sure to take a long lady like time.

*

“I love the cinema but even more than that I love a good beer after it.” He took her to a movie and then a Biergarten where they would also have a long and elaborate dinner. He gave her his jacket and she admired his tight dress shirt and how it pulled across his muscles, “How do you stay like that?” He smiled, “I am a bodybuilder and a wrestler.” 

“Did you like wrestling?” 

“I loved it.” 

“Did you win a lot.” 

‘I did.” 

“I saw you sometimes at the JCC.” 

“It was the only place I could get the training I needed.” 

“Oh, was that public school not accommodating?” 

“You’re such a rich little princess. Can I call you that? Can you be my princess?” 

“I’m not a princess. I’m something else.” 

“A JAP?” 

“That’s a little offensive.” 

“I didn’t mean it to be at all. I apologize. I was always really...drawn to Judaism and wanted to know more. Mom and and Yoma always steered my clear, though. Jesus saves and all that.” 

“So the songs say. Yoma is Ymir?” 

“Yeah, she came up with it.” 

“ Clever.” 

“Do you want to have kids some day?” 

She looked at him seriously, “Why?” 

“Because I want to date you seriously with respect and good intentions. I wasn’t raised by wolves….well, I was but I want to do better.” Sebastian wasn’t from such a happy household as Krista would want them all to think. Krista may have given birth to him but she was cold, distant, and often treated him as if he was merely an end to a means. He thought she never wanted to have children so why did she insist on having one with his dad? Reiner was a good dad. He was a great dad. Bertolt was awkward sometimes but even he loved him and was there for him.

Ymir was an enigma.

“I want kids but not right now. I’d like a traditional life with comfort.” 

“You want to live like you lived. Got it. I’ll be sure to look at ways to make a lot of money.” She smiled, “It isn’t all about money. It’s about love, respect, and comfort. It’s routine and deviation. But, now that we’ve got that out of the way I want to eat and have some more fun.” He smirked, “Fun?” She smiled, “If you’re going to court me you better know how to have fun, Sebastian.” He chuckled, “Oh, I know how to have fun.”

***

Sebastian was a “bad boy” for sure. His group of friends were rambunctious and wild. They spent their off nights drinking, dancing, and running through the city crashing parties and creating them. Sebastian rented a boat and they all went out on it. She drank champagne and laughed. He made her laugh a lot. His eyes wrinkled in the corners. She liked that. He expressed interest into her religion and made sure he respected it. 

“Gisela, liebe, please come here and let me stretch you.” He smiled and she walked over with her water and Aviva’s scarf, “What if I'm all stretched and ready?” He smiled and grabbed her leaving kisses all over her face, “God, you're beautiful!” The stage director clapped his hands to break them up, “Sebastian, you've got Katonti.” Gisela loved that song. She stood on the sidelines and watched as he prepared to sing his solo. When he started she felt herself overcome. He became overcome. 

There wasn't a dry eye in the house when he finished. He had to leave to get some fresh air. Gisela later walked slowly to his dressing room where she found him, head in his hands crying, “I think…..I think I saw God. HaShem….I think I know why I was always jealous. I think I've found my religion, myself, my God.”

He contacted a rabbi afterwards and started setting up meetings and reading countless books. He was in her living room when he lowered the dog eared copy of “To Life!” “Liebe, how long have we been dating?” She hummed, “Almost four months.” He looked around, “You know, I hate when you leave my place to go home or when I leave you. What you say we move in together? I could fix all of the things around here and you could use me as a heater at night and bug killer.”

She paused, “You want to move in here?” He smiled, “Or a new apartment. I mean, both of ours are falling apart. It might look like a new and clean building but they really fucked us over with this shitty workmanship.” He stood up and wrapped his arms around her waist as she finished prepping some food, “Baby, I want to wake up next to you and go to sleep next to you every day. We spend so much time together but not really. At the house we pull long hours and we have to work so hard. Imagine coming home to a home every night?” 

She thought about it, “You’re a foolish man, Sebastian Lenz.” He kissed her and his hands moved to lift her dress up. He kissed her senseless and then, “My love, let me ravage you.” He picked her up in his arms and took her to the bedroom.

***

Aviva picked up the phone, “What the fuck do you want, asshole?” Judah grit his teeth, “Zev gave me a number to give to you, whore.” She inhaled, “What is it.” 

“Write it down.” 

“No need.” 

“Ha, right. Like you’re that smart.” 

“TELL ME.” 

“+45 219 83 154” 

“That’s...too many for a phone number. Why is it to Denmark?” 

He hung up and she called the number knowing it wouldn't work.

It rang. Her eyes opened in shock. 

“Marilyn?” 

She didn’t speak, “Marilyn, you’d do well to remember what I told you.” 

The line went dead. 

She put her phone down and went back to the practice room where Gisela sat on the phone with Judah discussing how she was moving in with Sebastian. Aviva wanted to get into this program in Russia but she didn’t want to leave her friend, “Tell Judah fuck him for hanging up on me!” Gisela looked up and was confused, “I’ve been on the phone with him for twenty minutes. Did you call Aviva?” Aviva was white as a ghost, “V, he said he didn’t call you.” Aviva went to get something to drink. *** 

The street was pitch black as he ran across it with Chaim. They were giving information to the main group that would set them up with The Wall, “They need spies. Guns, they’ve got guns. Here is the paperwork to back it up. You’ve got to give them information that only Neturei Karta can give them, namely detailed schedules of the IDF soldiers routines, any jobs that you might hold in the government, key cars, tax returns, information is power.” 

Josef was looked at by the other members, “What is the most abhorrent thing in your opinion in this modern world?” Josef looked at the man blinding him with the flashlight and handed over packets of information, “That this state even exists.” **** 

“PAPA! YOU DIDN’T COME FIND ME!” A redheaded girl squealed as she ran in front of the dark stained table with the neatly burned _Tuvia Smith_ in the side. It had cost a lot of money. Bellamy Kirschstein-Bodt was on the desk in neat gold font. The book was a historical narration of the Tatars and followed notable people through it with real present day political tie ins. Bellamy was a great writer. “I’m sorry my sweet sparrow! I’ll come now.” He stood up and moved the paper into the trash can. He pressed a button on his desk and took a deep breath.

A woman’s voice filled the hallway, “Constantine? Come to dinner and bring Rose.” He smiled and walked down to the kitchen where they began eating dinner. “Did you hear anything from your friend in the US? Mr. Arlert?” He looked up, “No, but one of his children I believe has been conscripted in some business affairs of mine.” The Wall was doing well and now Neturei Karta was contacting them? No, that smelled of the Ackermann-Smiths. Maybe even the Lavie family. “He still writes Michael Kohlhaas. When are you ever going to tell him your real name?” 

He drank some tea, “Soon.” His own family didn’t even know his name. *** 

Hitch was becoming stranger and stranger, “What if we moved?” He looked over at her, “Where, sweetheart?” He kissed her stomach and tried listened to the child. “I don’t know. Out of Mea Shearim.” He couldn’t do that. He still needed to do things. “Not right now, sweetheart. We have to finish paying off things here.” She pulled him up and kissed him, “Make love to me.” 

He could only sleep with her on a few nights every month. She was still in bed and he was to have left her but that was impossible. He needed warmth. He needed contact and love. They slept together again and then there was a phone call, “Josef, I need to know some things.” 

“What?” 

“The government, their passcodes for the Aman.” 

“You already have it in the packet. It’s hidden on the back of the fifth page in the green folder.” 

‘You’ve thought of everything.” 

“Did you see it?” 

“See the news?” 

“Yeah, we blew that building to smithereens!” 

Josef smiled, “Yeah, it was wonderful. The PM will have to recognize it and make a statement.” 

“The Wall is planning on a grand plan, bother. The end is near. Iran will help us.” 

“The uranium?” 

“The turbines and the filters are what they are in need in. If we get them and deliver them then they’ll be forced to concede. War would lead to utter destruction.” 

He smiled and they spoke for a little bit longer. Chaim made plans for them when he returned. “How is my sister? Are you treating her well?

”Does she call and complain?” 

“No, but she is a little sad and I’m not sure why?” 

“I’ve noticed and I think I might make her an appointment to talk about pre-postpartum.” ****** 

The water poured in the green plastic bucket and he swore, “Fuck!” She wiped up around the floor, “This is what you get, you know.” Her voice was smug and haughty. He growled lowly, “If this place is so distasteful to you, Bracha, then leave.” Bianca gave him an annoyed look, “Stop calling me that. That’s not my name.” He swore again as the metal pipe’s edge cut him. She walked over and put a cloth to his thumb, “It’s a good name.” She gave him a superior look, “It’s Hebrew. I like my name, my God given Christian name.” 

The phone rang, “You have a landline?” She looked at him incredulously. He scoffed, “Cell phones don’t always work. Will you go home already?!” She smiled, “My flights like two weeks from now so no.” He grumbled and answered the phone, “Zev?” 

“I need you to...consider entering into a type of relationship.” 

Tuvia listened and then chuckled, “I’ll do it. I’ll go into the city tomorrow with Bianca and we’ll do it.” 

Tuvia and Zev talked longer, “You need to call Gigi.” Zev’s voice faltered, “You need to keep your opinions to yourself.” Tuvia sighed, “Don’t you want to know about her?” Zev’s lip trembled, “Is she happy?” Tuvia scoffed, “You’re such a fucking idiot!” He hung up. He didn’t want to admit he was crying. Tuvia didn’t cry. “What did he say?” She was putting her shoes on, “Was it about Gigi?” Tuvia pulled his coat on, “He’s hurt her and he won’t even admit it.” Bianca frowned, “At least she’s got Sebastian.” 

Tuvia and she walked out of the house to his car, “At least my brother is alive.” 

“What about his wife? His baby?” 

Tuvia frowned, “I wish it was all a bad dream.” ****** 

The phone rang and Josef answered it, “Do you remember me?” 

The voice was very familiar and almost comforting, “I think you do. That girl, are you with her?” 

“Which one?” 

“The beautiful one with the green eyes and platinum blonde hair. I almost thought she belonged to your father and not the other. She was such a beautiful and smart little girl. I saw how you loved her purely, as only children can.” 

“No...no I destroyed that.” 

“Ah,” he sighed, “as we men normally do. Tell me, why is it that your picture is on my desk and so is her’s?” 

His throat tightened, “Why is she on your desk?” 

“So, you don’t know? Well, I’ll have to look more into it.” 

“I think I know why I’m on there.” 

“Have you found new friends?” 

“I’ve found you new friends.” 

“You must not like them.” 

“I think you can come to that conclusion on your own.” 

“Zev, take care of your wife and her child.” 

He hung up. 

Zev’s stomach clenched. 

_Where are you right now Gigi?_

*******

Gisela rolled over on the sleeping bag and Aviva smiled, “Sebastian got up and is making food.” Gisela snorted, “He can’t cook at all.” Aviva kissed her, “I can make some pasta.” Gisela smiled, “Judah makes great pasta.” She frowned, “I miss him so much. I miss…” She sat up and Aviva’s sadness crushed her, “He barely speaks to me.” Gisela thought about something, “I’m going to go see Nikko.” 

Aviva sat up, “I think that’s good.” ******* 

“You realize that’s not really coffee, right?” Eren lowered his cup, “What?” Levi stared at him, “Eren, that’s dirty water from the car.” Eren spat like a fountain and stuck his tongue out, “WHY WAS IT WARM?” Levi blinked, “The car is hot.” Eren hit his arm, “You’re sooooo meeeeaaaaan!” Levi chuckled, “That’s me.” 

Eren tried to kiss him but Levi swatted and spat at him, “Stop, stop, stop!” Eren grinned and chased him around the car at the gas station. “The French are going to wonder why the Americans are acting so strange.” Eren grabbed Levi from behind and kissed his neck. Levi groaned, “They probably just think we’re insane and we are. I’m afraid of Americans.” They were at a French gas station outside of Paris. They’d managed to get permission to come and were going to surprise Nikko. “I miss my baby.” Eren pouted and Levi hummed, “I miss him, too.” 

Gisela had just arrived and was taking a taxi to the apartment. Sebastian had been sad and Aviva needed to return to Russia but she wanted Nikko. Judah said he’d try to fly in under papers Yoni got him. She hoped he’d arrive in the hour. She didn’t know what she’d find in the apartment again. She had high hopes. 

Those hopes were misplaced. It still looked wrecked and like no one had been there for weeks. She noticed some of the key cards for the hospitals and labs. Mila was still working two jobs and and Nikko was now gaining popularity in France for some of his work. She went around the apartment quietly but they were not there. There was a note on the fridge for her saying when they’d be back. She started cleaning up and washing things. When she went into Nikko’s room she snooped around a little. She found his notebook and opened it. 

His words were like sweet music and they always had been.

*

When there was a knock at the door. When she opened it she nearly cried. Eren hugged her and kissed her and so did Levi. They were so happy to see each other. She brought them in apologized that Nikko and Mila were not there and put their bags away. When Judah appeared the world seemed to be such a better place. Eren kissed her and asked her about dance and the opera while Levi went with Judah to get groceries for dinner. 

They turned on the news, “Uranium has been stolen from a Russian laboratory in Siberia…” Armin called Eren and he took the phone call sitting out on the window ledge looking at the Eiffel Tower. She felt sick to her stomach. Gisela stood up and grabbed her coat, “Baba, I need to run an errand.” Her voice upset him, “Gisela, what?!” He put his phone down and she waved him off, “Five minutes, tops.” He narrowed his eyes, “I’ll send Aba and Judah if you’re not back in five.” 

She ran down to the corner where the payphone was and called a number Nikko had given her for emergencies. The line rang and rang till, “Hello?” 

“I think my brother is staying at your hostile?” 

“Room number?” 

“45.” 

The silence stretched and her stomach clenched, “No, ma’am. He left a little while ago. He should be home very soon.” 

She hung the phone up and sighed. She hoped she wouldn’t be shaking when she got back to the apartment. When she did open the door, Baba was screaming words of love while he held Nikko to him and kissed him. Mila came in just a few seconds after her and was attacked in a similar fashion. She looked exhausted. * 

Levi kissed Eren’s neck as he stood behind him in the kitchen, “I love you.” Levi continued to press kisses to his neck and down the nape. “Levi if you don’t stop I’ll burn this soup.” Levi chuckled, ‘I’ll call treif take out.” 

“Our children would weep.” 

“Judah can make his microwave cheese pasta casserole thingy that makes us all worry about his bowel movements.” 

“Only you worry, neshama.” 

“I want to fuck you right here.” 

“Woooooah now. We’ve got childrens in the living room! I do declare that I am feelin’ a bit hot under the collar my good sir.” 

Levi started to really laugh, “Fucking stop that shitty shit.” 

“You know, we don’t have a bedroom.” 

“Nikko will give it up.” 

“Do you think he and Mila?” 

“Eren, don’t start. You’ll break my heart.” 

“I mean….” 

“Eren, please I can’t handle it.” 

“Mila would be such a wonderful daughter. She’s so smart and accomplished and beautiful and sweet and resourceful….damn...If Nikko doesn’t marry her I’ll pay her to marry Judah.” 

Levi slapped his ass and bit lightly on the crook of his neck, “Hush. Plus, Judah and Mila would be tragic.” 

“Tragically perfect.” 

“I said hush or I’ll fuck you right here and ruin everyone’s day.” 

“Well….not ours.” 

“True.” * 

Judah was shirtless and freshly showered sitting with a beer leaned back on the couch. Gisela pressed her face into his chest. Mila had changed into a nice pajama set that seemed very out character. Nikko watched as she brushed her wet hair and he drank tea and looked so beyond exhausted with red rims and dark circles under his eyes. “Mila, tell Judah and Gisela about the hospital.” Gisela looked at her and waited. 

“We’ve got more people coming in with strange behavior so now we’re trying to work with Cesare’s blood, Ezra’s, all of ours actually and find some sort of clue.” Gisela thought about it, “Why don’t we make a diagram?” Mila thought about it, “Of what?” 

“Of patient zero.” 

“We already have and there is no way to know who is or isn’t patient zero.” 

Gisela kept thinking, “They all travel, right?” 

“Most people do, Gigi.” Nikko rubbed his temples, “Why does that draw your attention?” Nikko had spent so many hours on all of this that he was open to anything but also equally annoyed. “What do all people have to do when they travel?” Nikko opened his eyes, “Go through sanitation.” 

Ever since the plague sanitation stations run by each country allowed their civilians to go though before they entered the plane. “You know, Gigi might be onto something.” Judah’s voice was hoarse, “I always use the Israeli ones.” Nikko was looking at Mila’s hands that were bruised. Something about that statement triggered a series of revelations. Nikko stood up, “I have to make a phone call. I’ll be back.” Gisela nodded, following the train of thought, too. “Thanks, Jude.” He kissed her cheek, “Just glad to be here. Mila, what’s wrong with your hands?” 

“Just took up boxing.” 

“Why?” 

“Needed a sport for stress relief.” 

“What about Krav Maga? Better for your hands.” 

“I’ll look into it.” *** 

Levi and Eren walked into Nikko’s room and smiled. Nikko hung his head down blushing, “Don’t even try to get out of it.” Nikko smooth his hands down his pants, “I wasn’t going to.” 

Levi and Eren cuddled and snuggled with their son after so many months of nothing but spotty contact and hospital emergencies. Nikko fell asleep the second he touched the pillow and Eren stroked his hair, “I think he’s doing illegal things.” Levi snorted, “Our Nikko? No!” Eren rolled his eyes, “My God, you think they’re all made of gold!” Levi shrugged, “They’re my kids. I think I’m entitled to that.” 

“I think you’re ridiculous.” 

“You’re ridiculous.” 

“Nu uhhhhh.” 

“You drank nasty car water!” 

“YOU KISSED ME!” 

“I’m _filthy._ ” Levi had such a hot and steamy look Eren blushed and got quite, “Let’s have another baby.” 

“Eren, so help me God I will scream.” *** 

Judah and Gisela walked around the city, “Do you want to?” She looked around at the club goers eating street food, “Yeah.” Judah pressed closer to her, “I hear there’s one a few blocks from here.” She took his hand, “Let’s go then.” They walked to a darker side of the city, Judah’s arm around her protectively. Their stomach buzzed.

_bzzzzzzzzzzzzz_

_bzzzzzzzzzzzzz_

_bzzzzzzzzzzzzz_

_bzzzzzzzzzzzzz_

_bzzzzzzzzzzzzz_

She saw person and he could tell she wanted them, “Why do we feel like this?” Gisela shrugged, “I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like this with Sebastian. But, I like him so….” Judah didn’t but he didn’t want to say anything at that moment, “Come on. Let’s have some fun.” ****** 

The phone rang again. 

He picked it up. Hitch was out and he didn’t know who would be calling at this hour, “Hello?” 

“She’s all over my desk. I wonder how long this can last.” 

“Leave her alone.” 

“I won’t do that. If I did that then she could be in real danger. I’ll just keep trying to figure out why our Reiss friends want her so badly.” 

“Please, I’ll do anything just don’t let her get hurt.” 

“Is your wife involved?” 

“No. She’s not. Just her brother.” 

“Between you and me, he’s trying to play Armin’s game but poorly. You be sure….encourage him to continue, you know? And how about you consider something.” 

“What?” 

“Join me.” 

Zev’s adrenalin flowed and he shook, “What?” 

“Join me and become my second.” 

“I….I…” 

“Think about it.” 

The line went dead. *** 

Gisela held onto Levi like when she was a little girl. He wanted to cry. It was just them in the bed. Everyone else was laughing and talking in the kitchen for breakfast, “Gisela, I want to tell you that you are what I always longed for. I wanted a little girl so badly and everyone else had one and it made me bitter and cold. Your name in French means pledge. You know what that’s important?” 

She looked at him, “No, why?” He ran his fingers through her hair, “I pledged that if God gave me a little girl I’d never be bitter again. I don’t ask for things anymore, not like that. I’m not really all that bitter, either. I have my Gisela and I have everything in the world. I do think he was making a statement giving me a blonde.” He always thought about the woman who gave him food in Egypt after they escaped. He thought of the woman who threw food over the fence before jumping in front of the train. How had he made it here? 

“Aba?” 

“Yes, my sweet Giselaka?” 

She started to cry, her lips trembled, “Every day….” She didn’t go on. She buried her face in his chest and sobbed. He held her and cried with her. He didn’t know why she was crying but he was crying that she was crying. It’s just how it was. He tried to help, “Maybe you’ll go visit Zev and he can make you laugh?” 

She wanted to scream. * 

Eren looked at the hidden lock box in the wall and saw the key to the bank in Paris. He closed the box and returned to his family. He pulled Nikko to him. Nikko smiled and he looked so much like Levi. Eren thought about a poem Nikko had written when he was younger and they were here in this apartment. It was close to Yom HaShoah and they’d all paused as they secretly read it. 

There is nothing outside of this place 

No time, no meaning. 

We have only these memories 

So small, so wholesome. 

Just smiles, rituals, candles 

from generation to generation. 

We take what we can get 

tears and kisses. 

Because we know that’s it’s for these reasons 

we promise never to forget. *** 

Sebastian was fidgeting. He spilled his coffee when she entered, “Hey, honeybunny, I um...got something to tell you.” He went and got her bags. He always made over her and took care of her. She liked it and he made her feel pampered, “What is it sugar?” She kissed him and smiled. Sebastian was huge and warm. He was like a really big bear. 

“I’m going to convert.” 

She looked at him, “Seriously?!” 

“Yeah, are you mad?” 

“MAD!? NO?!” 

She wrapped her arms around his neck and then her legs lifted to wrap around his waist, “I love you, Sebastian Lenz.” She kissed him and he took them to their bedroom. 

Even if she was so utterly broken on the inside she’d be damned if anyone actually knew it. Zev Smith would never know the satisfaction. He didn’t fucking deserve it or her love.

*******

Chaim’s eyes were hard. Zev spat the blood out of his mouth. “I know who you really are.” Chaim was now tied to a chair, skin pitted with dagger cuts. They had tried to meet up with the Wall to exchange uranium but that’s when One Eye smelled the stench of weakness. Zev didn’t know who this man really was yet but he seemed to know exactly who someone was and their intentions.

Zev had fed Chaim information over the course of months. They had gone to their contacts in Gaza, then Jordan, Syria, Turkey, Bulgaria, Macedonia, Austria, Germany, and then Denmark. They were trying to arrange a few new cells but Chaim wanted to run them. He had foolishly thought he could meet One Eye and kill him. He’d also used tracked funds to hire hackers to hack Israeli defense buildings. His international list of crimes ran on forever. He’d never seen the web that Zev had wove. 

His daddy always had warned him about the importance of documentation, “Zev, son, you should always know who to trust in life.” He’d given him a receipt for a lemonade he’d bought at his summer camp when the parents came to check up on the kids, “But, even when you do trust someone you always keep documented proof of their actions and their promises. It saves you a lot of headache and it keeps people, including yourself, honest.”

*

“Josef, we have the uranium.” 

“That’s good, Chaim.” 

“We’re thinking that if we can take the cells in France we can force One Eye out.” 

“Why are you even trying to do that, Chaim? One Eye is fine and do you really want to be in control of both organizations?” 

“I don’t want to control both.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Brother, what if I made a new organization?” 

Zev had thought this was a great idea. He’d secured an investor for Chaim and knew that his money had lined the pockets of the organization for months now. “The donor sent more funds and I’ve been elected by the others as leader. I now control most of the Sutmar money and assets and I was elected the rightful leader of the group. I can do anything I will do anything.” 

“What is your mission?” 

“It’s simple. I want to make the world a better place by destroying this state and getting other states to leave the Jews alone.” 

Zev thought that was ridiculous. But, he also had orders and the curiosity all Smiths had about humans and their thoughts, “Well, you’re going to have plenty of time alone with me, Chaim. We’re going to get very real.” Chaim struggled, ‘Why did you do it? Why did you hurt her?” 

Hitch was a snoop and he knew it but he’d thought he’d hidden his tracks better. She found the photos again and then a name he’d tried to remove. Soon she was on the phone requesting to know which friend left them. Then, someone made calls to another rabbi and from there another and another. Soon Josef was outed by a rabbi in France who was literally on his deathbed. The name Ackermann was attached to Smith and impressively they’d managed to find out who the only Albino Smith in Israel was.

Mossad wasn’t even angry. Hell, they were impressed and said it wouldn’t affect how they finished the case but he had another problem. “Did you know about your sister’s double life.” Chaim spat, “Sisters are strange creatures.” Zev thought of his own. Chaim continued, “They just take your heart from the moment you see them and you’re in the palm of their hand. I love my sister more than words. They can kill someone in cold blood and you still ache for the sweet moments you had with them in childhood.”

“I know. But it doesn’t change the fact that her lie not only took me away from my own sister but also changed my life.” 

Chaim was bitter, “And you never even cheated on her. It’d be so easy to hate you.” Chaim had really loved his brother-in-law and now his sister and him were lost to his world and community. Zev had the dagger ready, “You’re not going to be the new leader, Chaim.” Chaim’s eyes widened in understanding, “The creator will destroy your soul, Zev Smith.” ***** 

Hitch was in labor and she acted so scared. He wished he could be there with her but that wasn’t allowed. He waited to see his child, to hear them, to know they were okay and that she was okay. It was killing him that she could die or anything could go wrong. He wanted his parents. He wanted his vati and daddy. His brothers were not there, no one. He called Judah and he answered. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey, Jude.” 

“Oy, what are you calling about?” 

“I’m calling about nothing. I just wanted to hear your voice.” 

Judah sighed, ‘You wanted to hear Gigi’s voice. Don’t lie. I can’t talk long. You should call her.” He wanted to weep, “Don’t do me dirty, Judah baby, please.” Judah snorted, “You goin’ on a mission old man? You tryin’ to get your last words in?” 

“I’m not involved in things like that anymore. I live a religious life.” 

“Why you on the phone then?” 

“Talk to me. Hurt me. Anything.” 

“No. I’m sorry, Zev. What you’ve done has complicated things. I also really can’t talk. I’m about to deal with customers. Listen, call me my time tomorrow at 9 pm. I’ll talk to you as long as you want about anything or nothing. Kay? I might have missed your dumb goofy ass a little.” 

He hung up and her father came to get him. He didn't want to tell him and knew this would not end well. “It’s a boy.” * 

Hitch was crying and everyone was somber when he came in. He reached out to take the child but she held him closer, “Hitch, what’s wrong?” 

Chaim looked at the struggling form and said nothing. The, as if planting a story for later, “He favors our family. I’m trying to figure out which person.” Zev looked down, “May I hold him?” He picked his son up and looked at him. His face fell. She burst into tears, fat and ugly. He didn’t know what to say or how to say it. 

The door opened and another man entered, tears down his face, “Hitch...why didn’t you tell me?” She kept weeping and her mother told her to shut up. The entire room made itself silent and scarce. Zev knew what was going on. He walked over to him and handed him the child, “This belongs to you. Mazel Tov.” The boy looked like he was going to die, “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME!” She wept harder, “It was one time and you were drunk. It wasn’t your fault! You hardly ever drink and they made you! it was a mistake and you didn’t mean anything by it. I couldn't put that on you. You follow the rules, you're a proper person and conservative. This is nothing but horrible. A mamzer son, is that what you dreamed of?!” 

The boy sobbed, he had loved her for years until finally realizing it. When he'd heard she was married and pregnant it had hurt him. He'd had sexual dreams about her. Apparently, they were not dreams. “I thought it was a dream. You have no idea how much I love you. I was so jealous this entire time. I love you. Please, please forgive me.” Zev was crushed, “What’s your name?” The boy looked ashamed, “Marlowe.” Zev patted his back, “Hitch, I’d like a get (divorce) and we’ll just write I was infertile. You’ll marry Marlowe, it’ll be quiet. I’ll make no protest. He’ll call the baby’s name out at his shul. You’ll need to move.” 

He’d been with her for nearly 40 weeks and he’d thought they’d be together forever. She was so scared. But, there was something about it all that he was thankful for. If Marlowe loved her and she loved him then who was he to stand between them? No, he’d set them free. “I’ll have an apartment arranged outside of this part of town. You won’t be living in the Satmar world anymore. All of your things will be moved and set up nicely. I’ll help with the crib since we were waiting. Marlowe can do it if he’d like. He’s going to be in that apartment too since you're going to be married.” 

Marlowe was a good man, not Satmar. He was just a modern orthodox boy who had fallen in love with a beautiful and wild girl. She was everything in life that he was not. They were two halves that made a whole. 

*

Marlowe called out the name of their child at his shul, “Ze’ev.” Zev laughed to himself quietly at how ridiculously ironic that was. God clearly liked to laugh at him. * 

When she came to the apartment three days later he had a note waiting: 

“I don’t know why you didn’t tell me. Sure, it’s not a good situation but we both had secrets. I could have at least helped shoulder yours since mine were too large. You have revealed me and laid me bare. I am your sacrificial lamb but I didn’t have to be. I made sure I got you a large apartment. You deserve a large apartment. I think maybe with space you’ll be able to heal and fill up that void you have inside of yourself. I pray Marlowe was the reason for that void and now when you wake up to him with your son that you’ll be happy. I think at least one of us deserves to be happy.” 

“HaShem knows you destroyed my only chance of being happy.”

Zev *** 

Keita looked at the papers and wiped his face with a cool rag, “Now that we have him you should go in his place to intercept the papers. We have reason to believe that they contain information on the genetic nature of the mutated viruses.” Zev looked at Keita and then at the woman in the chair, “Okay, but then I want to go home for a while.” Keita nodded, “Brother, I want you to come home for a long time.” 

He and Keita went out and got shit faced. They shared the bed that night, snoring and groaning from nightmares. Keita made breakfast in the morning, handed him a newspaper, “Your train leaves in two hours.” 

Zev arrived in Iraq after a short plane ride after the train broke down. He got off and headed to the checkpoint where Chaim was meeting his operatives. If these were loyal Wall men he had nothing to fear. He kept thinking of Gisela and every step brought him closer to her. 

Step 

Step 

Step 

Step 

_Oooffffff_

_Everything went black._


	171. Ana Bekoach III

PART III

They screamed, hit the bars with metal pipes as he was drug on the concrete floors. The grout in the tiles were black and dirty sewer like water was awash on the hard surface. He blinked. The tall, endless expansion above him of floors and floors of prisoners. He closed his eyes, nose caked with blood. his eyelashes were matted together and his fingers were burned on the tips from torture. He was tossed in a holding cell. This was not his final destination, “Iran welcomes the White Prince.” The door slammed shut and he screamed. ***** 

Sebastian was out and her hand hovered over the phone. She picked it up and dialed the number. They’d just returned to Austria and the streets were still festive from the new year, “Hello?” Her hands shook and she tried to steady herself, “Zev?” 

“Yes?” 

Her voice was still a little shaky. This was the first time she’d heard him in over a year, “Well, I just got engaged and I was addressing invitations but I don’t have your address so I decided to call and formally invite you and get an address if you’d give it…” She ended lamely and bit her lip closing her eyes. 

He didn’t say anything for a while, “I’ll not be coming.” 

Her face tensed up and she looked like she might sob. She pulled herself together, “You won’t come.” She repeated it. 

He inhaled shortly, “I won’t come.” 

She was turning a shade of red just like Levi, “Why?!” 

She knew her tone betrayed her and he would be combative, “Because I don’t have time.” 

She was so angry, “You don’t have time?! YOU DON’T HAVE TIME!? It sounds like you just don’t want to face me.” 

“What do I have to be ashamed of?” 

“Funny I never said shame. You supplied that.” 

“You’re the one that should be ashamed.” 

“How so?!” 

“You’re pathetic. You chase after someone who was never into you seriously. I pity you, actually. Why waste your time trying to get another guy to come to your wedding?” 

“You were never into me!? WE WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP!” 

“It was an arrangement. I made no promises to you, ever. You never heard me once say I love you, call you my girlfriend, nothing. We slept together and had an understanding and that was all. How else was it so easy for me to fall in love with someone else? Hell, think about it. I chose a righteous woman.” 

She wanted to scream, “There is nothing less righteous about me because I engaged in open sexual expression with someone I loved.” 

“That was your mistake. You’re embarrassing yourself.” 

“You never felt anything for me?” 

“Nothing outside of what I’ve always felt as we grew up together.” 

“So, I meant nothing.” 

“Nothing.” 

“You never loved me?” 

“Never like that.” 

Gisela held the phone in a death grip, “Khasene hobn zol du mit di malekh hamoves tokhter.” (You should marry the daughter of the angel of death; Yiddish curse) She hung up and he fell to the floor. He held his head in his hands. 

He was a shameful failure of a man. ****** 

He was coughing up blood. Her voice was in his mind. He needed to recover and quickly if he ever wanted to see her again. He loved her. She loved him. He loved her. She might not still love him. He would always love her. She would never forgive him. He laid there in the piss and shit and couldn’t find a single reason he didn’t deserve it. When they came with pictures of her he nearly broke. ******* 

“Mila?” She was white as a ghost and standing between two men, “Gisela, leave.” 

“We want to talk to you, Gisela. You’ve been hard to get a hold of.” 

“Let Mila go. Where is Nikko?” 

“That’s what we need to talk to you about. Are you still on our side?” 

“I don’t understand.” 

Her blood thrummed in her body. She wanted her brothers. She wanted Mila safe, “If you’re asking about my guests the other day, they were salesmen. I was unaware that they had spoken to Sebastian and I felt rude not hosting them.” 

“Why?” 

“They’re Jews. It’s a rule that if they come to a new town then I am to offer them a meal. Sebastian invited them.” 

“What does your brother do in his spare time?” 

She shrugged, “Mila lives in the same apartment as he. She’d know more than me. I can only attest to him as a child.” 

Mila spoke in a rushed manner, “He writes, listens to music, plays tennis. He’s simple and he likes his tea at seven every day unless it’s raining and then he takes it twice. Once at seven and then at ten. He says prayers. I really don’t know what anyone could say that would be negative about him.” 

“Are you in love with Mr. Ackermann? It sure sounds like it.” 

“I am merely answering your question.” 

“Leave her alone. She shares the apartment and has been a member of our family since I was born and before that. She and my brother are nothing more than cousins.” 

Mila and Gisela knew they were positioning them into a corner. If they suspected anything like religious or racial mixing they would be taken to the police and would be made to disappear. It happened all the time. It’s just that these people were supposed to be above it. “When your brother returns have him explain to you the consequences of a fence.” She narrowed her eyes, “I know very well the consequences.” 

“You do?” 

“Yes, it’s a fine place to sit but soon enough it will turn into a spike.” ******* 

He wondered what Tuvia was doing. _drip drip drip_

He wondered if Hannahlore had a baby yet. _drip drip drip_

He wondered if Nikko had finally told Mila he loved her. _drip drip drip_

He wondered if Vati and Daddy were shopping at the organic farmer’s market. He wondered if Baba was laughing wildly while Aba tried to hide his smirk. He wondered if Judah was at peace and not engaged in some sort of murder. He wondered if Bellamy was writing while Lilly stained fabric and Bianca tried on a sample dress from aunt Mikasa while uncle David lectured Cesare on baby proofing while Ezra scrolled through pictures of rescue animals. 

_drip drip drip…._

*******

Judah kept trying to call Zev but there was never an answer, “Fuck!” Judah seethed. He wanted to call Gisela but he couldn’t. She’d be upset. She was marrying that piece of shit that made his skin crawl. He put on his coat and went downstairs. Levi was there, “Judah?” 

“I’m going out old man.” 

“Where?” 

“Fuck off.” 

Levi had Judah on the floor in seconds, “Listen, I’m going with you.” Levi was crushing his windpipe, “So, there’s that.” He released him and Judah coughed, “Asshole.” Levi smirked, “Love you, too.” * 

They got in the car and Judah squirmed, “Old man, what do you want to do?” Levi looked over, “Just take me wherever you would normally go.” Judah raised an eyebrow, “Really?” Levi smirked, “Yeah.” * 

The bar was packed. Judah did a shot off a pretty little blonde who smiled and laughed at his crude humor. Levi leaned against the bar and swatted his own admirers away. He was glad he’d snagged Eren. Eren was handsome and perfect. He did watch Judah peruse the bar like he had in his youth in New York. He was a dashing bad boy who promised danger and a little physical abuse. The girl laughed and pulled him towards the bathroom. Levi rolled his eyes as Judah smirked at him and winked. * 

They somehow ended up at another club and did drugs in the bathroom. Judah couldn’t even comprehend Levi right now. Levi was wreaking havoc drinking, dancing, and he even got in a fight. Apparently, he was looking at a mirror of himself. Levi laughed wildly and often. Judah enjoyed his Aba. * 

They were drunk off their asses and on the curb. Levi looked over, “I’m gunna call Eren to pick us up.” Judah looked at him, “I’m hungry.” Levi smiled, “I’m sure he’ll take us somewhere. I’ll ask and be really nice. He’ll be confused and agree.” Judah snickered, “Damn….” Levi pulled a cigaret out, “Your sister met with Krista and Ymir for dinner but she didn’t seem happy.” Judah sighed, “I don’t like them.” 

“Nor do I. I think they’re hiding something.” 

“Do you think she’s happy?” 

Levi looked at him, “Do you talk to Zev?” 

Judah was cold, “No.” Levi sighed, “Oh God, we’re the same person.” 

Judah didn’t know what to say, “What?” 

Levi pulled him closer, “Zev is your Erwin.” Judah scowled, “No and plus, he’s better than tree man any day. I don’t swing that way.” Levi smiled, “I didn’t know I swung that way….till I swang…” 

“Old man, shut the actual fuck up. You can swing somewhere else but not over here. I’m not into swings. I’m into pussy and drinks.” 

Eren pulled up, “GET IN THE CAR, LOSERS!” He cackled and Levi smiled, “Ahuvi, could you please take us to get some junk food?” Eren’s eyes swam with love, “OH NESHAMA! YES! ANYTHING YOU WANT!” Judah smiled and Levi kissed him, “Ahuvi, you are beautiful.” Eren squealed. In the car Levi smirked turning to look at Judah, “You need to get you a pussy that’s attached to a person like your Baba.” He gave him a playful hit, “And that girl tonight looked like Aviva.” 

Judah looked like he might vomit, “NO SHE DIDN’T!” ******* 

Sebastian kissed her neck, “Honey, are you excited?” She looked at the plane tickets in her hand, “Yes!” She giggled as he picked her up and kissed her, “Snickerdoodle, when we get married….” They had actually be arguing a bit. She wanted to move to Israel for a while to work at the school for fine arts and then head back to Maria to be closer to Judah and Aviva. She wanted to work and not have kids till later. She had plans. 

But, Sebastian wanted a family immediately and to move closer to some of his family out west that she didn’t really know about. She didn’t recall ever really hearing about them but then Krista and Ymir pulled out pictures and all sorts of information. Reiner and Bertolt were not in the pictures save for a few. She didn’t like how Reiner was treated, to be honest. 

They had ended the talks with an agreement that she’d been away long enough from Maria. She told him it was important. 

_Zev would have known it was serious without her having to tell him._

*******

“Someone…stole the dress.” Mikasa covered her mouth as she heard the words, her gasp still audible, “and they gave me…a different one.” Mikasa had stitched and sewn into the wee hours. Hannahlore had helped her string pearls; what in God’s name was going on here on what was supposed to be her niece’s most happiest of days? “I will just wear it.” Mikasa dropped her hands, “Are you serious? Are you sure? You may not even like it and I can get mine.” 

“I like your dress a lot Mika but it’ll be fine.” Hannahlore looked around at Mila and knew she was going to say something, anything to try and make it better but it’d be more like, “Well, he’s not who you should be marrying.” She pulled at her hand and when Mila looked over she shook her head. She then whispered quietly and carefully, “Please don’t say this is a sign. I’d have to smother you and I love you so.” Mila smiled a little, “I almost did. I knew Nikko would have died if I had done it.” 

Mikasa was beside herself, “Does….does Eren know?” 

“No, but he will when he sees me in this.” 

Gisela held the dress out to side of her so everyone could see it. “It’s pretty.” Mila offered weakly. Even she was at a loss. This day had been horrible. Gisela closed her eyes, she looked like Aba when Baba did something frustrating. She knew she did. She’d been told plenty of times. Levi entered, fuming mad, “The food is spoiled and what isn’t was recalled. Nothing was kosher. Those shitty idiots. Sasha, what could you and Connie maybe,” 

“No, there just won’t be any food. I wanted Sasha and Connie to take it easy and not cater.” Sasha rubbed her hands on her thighs anxiously, “We could have food brought from the restaurant, Gisela.” 

“No, there will just be deserts.” 

Eren entered, “It’s the wrong CAKE! CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE IT! OUR LITTLE GIRL IS GETTING MARRIED AND THEY BRING US THE WRONG CAKE!” Levi looked like he wanted to throw up.

Levi turned to him but Eren’s blank face and sudden quietness had them all a little on edge, “That. Is. Not. Your. Dress.” Sasha stood up, “It’s settled. I’ll have food brought. It won't be true kosher but we’ve got the basics covered. Mikasa, make a veil that looks like,” 

“Already made it.” 

She had, she had it in Hannahlore’s dress bag for outside pictures so the real one wasn’t messed up. It would be Levi’s mother’s and it was precious. “Eren, you can take some of the flowers and put them on the cake you have in the cooler from Jennie’s you think we don’t know about.” Eren smiled, “OF COURSE!” Sasha turned to Gisela, “It’s fine. We’re going to sign the Ketubah and it’ll all be fine. Sebastian is waiting to marry the girl of his dreams.” Judah scoffed and Gisela whipped her head towards him.

Judah was a lot of things but he was her twin. He had instincts. With her gut clenching she peered beneath her lashes, “Jude, what do you have against Sebastian? Be straight with me.” He looked like he wanted to throw up and she knew it wasn’t just him being jealous and possessive. Aviva came inside, worried look on her face. She looked conflicted and Judah’s gaze was on her in seconds. Gisela knew something was going on, “Well, let’s just get you dressed, yeah?” 

Aviva smiled and everyone else went back to fixing what was wrong and her bridesmaids and attendants surrounded her, pictures being made of her stepping into her dress. Judah disappeared and she watched how even though her Aba smiled he looked so sad.

Gisela was happy that everyone was here, though. Everyone except him.

*****************

Zev walked inside of the house ready. He knew he was the great destroyer. His daddy called him after New Years, “Zev, son, Gisela and Nikko said you’re not married anymore.” 

Erwin sounded choked up, “I don’t understand, Zev. I don’t get…..you.” 

Zev felt like he’d been punched in the gut, “What?” 

Erwin sighed frustrated, “Zev, we did NOT raise you to be like this. You go off to Israel, we had no idea you wanted to do that. Keita says that you’re never with him and then that you got married. You tell us over the phone and then you do the most cruel thing, you cut off Gisela.” 

”You haven’t been speaking to her since you got married! HOW HAVE YOU DONE SUCH A THING!? How did we not know? You have a child, A CHILD, that we have NEVER met! Your Vati has wept over this, he…..you just don’t fucking get how cruel you are, how the people around you have suffered. You don’t even seem to care and then we find out just like that,” he snapped his fingers, “you’re divorced. What happened to living an orthodox lifestyle with your wife who doesn’t allow you to speak to a girl you’ve grown up with LIKE A SISTER!?” 

Zev wanted to crawl inside of the earth and die. He couldn’t handle it. He couldn’t tell him things like this over the phone, “I was…” 

“You’re not even coming home to her wedding. You’re not even coming home and you could. Zev, you should be ashamed. I am ashamed of what you’ve done. The IDF is a good thing, but what you’ve done for it no one asked and what you’ve decided to do about your faith is not how you were raised and I never thought you’d pick and choose the bullshit rules you have to follow.” 

Erwin hung up he was so mad. He didn’t want to say anything more and that’s when he decided he made a huge mistake. Well, until the package came.

******************

Sebastian Lenz was preparing to sign the Ketubah as David sang, Eren danced, Levi stood stoically because giving his sweet Gisela away was unthinkable especially to such an unlikely person. Eren had held Levi the night before and in the silence he had told Eren that this was not who he had wanted Gisela to marry. Eren nodded, “But he’s nice. His parents are shit but he’s nice. He lives in the same town as her, he sings with her,” 

“In the choir, he’s no lead!” 

“Okay, that’s true but she agreed, she loves him, the other kids say so and you have given her so many chances to tell you that she didn’t want to be with him. You’ve asked seriously multiple times and Armin has been,” 

“He hates him. He hates him so much and he makes me think that this is wrong, that he’s right. He says,” 

“I know what he says,” “then how, Eren,” 

“Because Gisela says he’s not like them, that he hates them, and that he wants only to live a Jewish life and sing.”

Right now Levi was feeling more and more like there was something to it all. Armin stood to the side, he didn’t smile. Erwin looked like he was trying his best and the boys, well, they were anxious. Judah looked like he was sick. Levi walked over to him, “Judah?” He looked up at him, “Aba, I…don’t want to ruin her day but I’m not happy.” Levi’s eyes widened and Nikko stepped over, “Ezra says that,” the door opened and Zev barged in. He had a manila envelope and he looked at Sebastian and sneered a sneer that made all of the parents get chills. That was not the face of Zev that they all knew.

He tossed the envelope to Judah and Nikko, Ezra finished his drink and motioned to Yoni. Yoni moved the table and Tuvia the chairs. They started another song, Dror Yikra. David turned to Ymir and Krista and Reiner to appease them, “Zev could make it! How good it is that he could be here!” Sebastian moved to leave and Tuvia and Yoni cut him off. Bellamy and Gio joined in, they hummed what they didn’t know and then Keita seemed to twitch with knowing as Nikko and Judah tore into the documents.

Oh, what secret lives they all lead.

*************

She looked stunning, truly. She may be in the wrong dress, she may have had everything fall apart but she was beautiful and she was so happy. She smiled as her bridesmaids danced. They had sung, ate, drank. Mikasa and Hannahlore made things look fabulously and she had her Aviva. “I love you, V.” Aviva smiled and kissed her, “I love you, G.” She touched her stomach, “I can’t believe you’re going to have a little baby.” Aviva giggled, “Maybe you’re next.” 

Alexi and Lilly snorted, “God, she’s not even married yet. Let her at least go on her honeymoon.” 

“And why are you in here and not with the men, Alexi?” He smirked, “Pretty women are in here.” Maxim and Ilya were working on setting up for the rehearsal with Jean and Marco. It would be a pretty tame wedding since Sebastian’s family wasn’t into throwing down musically.

She stood in the center of the room and everyone awed as the veil was placed. It wasn’t a modest dress but it was a show stopper and she thought the veil added a level of beauty and sophistication. “Oh, I have a letter from Sebastian to give to you.” She handed her the letter and she opened it.

My dearest Gigi,

You are the wind beneath my wings, the song in my chest, and the moon in the heavens. I can’t wait for us to move to Arkansas and start a life there. I know you’ll love the company there and when we have children I can’t wait to see the look on their face as you hold them in the early morning sunrise with them in your arms as they coo and smile. I can’t wait to live a life with you and expand the Lenz name as is commanded by HaShem himself.

Your Seb

She couldn’t believe what she was reading. It was as if he’d punched her in the gut.

The door shot open and then he was there. Aba, Baba, Vati, and Daddy were following on his heels and he was dressed in some sort of military uniform but one she’d never seen before. 

He dropped to his knees on the nice Persian rug Baba got from Turkey when he went for business. It was red, cobalt blue, and black with white trim. Why was she looking at the rug right now? He sobbed, his face contorted in true pain and sadness, he lamented like a mourner, it was very shocking. “Gisela, please, please don’t marry him. I beg you, please don’t marry him.” 

He leaned forward onto his elbows, hands open to her in a show of ancient and utter submission, the stance of a beggar who truly meant what they were asking, “Please,” he sobbed violently, “I give you my heart and my hands as an offering of sincerity, please do not marry him. Please.” She stared at him, green eyes cloudy, she wanted to scream at him. These were the first words in such a long time. 

She stood and the room was silent, completely void of sound it was like time stood still and it did. Zev wept more, he stayed in his submissive pleading display. She never doubted his sincerity for one second. She saw him, the letter in her hand, and then things started clicking that had never clicked before. Sebastian Lenz was a fraud. He swept her off her feet from the moment Zev cut her off. That pull she had felt, that strange connection that was so similar to… fear , was always saying the right things, giving her the right things. He wanted her in Arkansas, pregnant and barefoot. He wanted her in America, stuck there. He didn’t want her to stay in Maria, he didn’t want a lot of things. And then there was him; the albino who ripped her heart out of her chest. ******************** 

She was arranging things in her room when they knocked on the door of her apartment in Austria. Sebastian had left and she opened it thinking he’d come back. Two men, nice suits, and a briefcase were there, “Miss Ackermann? Would you care to invite us in?” 

“Who are you?” 

“Israeli secret service.” 

She gave them a tilt of her head and opened the door. They came inside and she made them Turkish coffee and tea. “You’re a linguistic heavy weight. My wife reads all the journals and in psychology you sure do go for the jugular.” She smiled, “So you’re here to offer me a job?” 

“Yes ma’am. Well, we’re here to make sure you say yes by giving you what you need.” They told her she was to do document translations, offer advice as a specialist in some cases, and she was to spy for them. She agreed and the details were laid out before her in picture perfect bullet points of her possible destruction and success. Becoming a spy or agent isn't safe. 

“Why did you pick me?” they avoided her eye contact, “Because someone referred you. That’s all we can say.” One of the men moved slightly, “What do you say?” She looked up, “Yes.” 

“Why?” He was honestly curious, “Obviously, that may become clear in your demands later but why?” She didn’t understand why someone would question this since this is what they really wanted, “I just want to feel alive. I want to help Israel. I want to destroy her enemies because they are my own. I want the head of Rod Reiss on a platter before me.” 

They each felt a cold trickle, “Well, now,” one began and wiped his forehead, “that’s most interesting. The future president of the united states is an enemy? What’s your proof?” She didn’t have any other than intuition and then there was proof in his policy, “France. What happened there and is happening in other places is directly related to him. I was stripped of my rights, I was left worrying about food, my studies were jeopardized and only a few faculty taking extra work and risks kept me there. I hate him. I suspect the whole lot of them are nothing but snakes and thieves.” 

The men left and wrote down in their notebooks a check mark by her name. “This is the one. She’s going to be the cornerstone, the Golda Meir.” The other man nodded, “And he? Who is he going to be?” He grimaced, “Hopefully Little Isser without the paranoia.” The man barked a laugh, “Good match, that’s for sure.”

*********

She found out no one had spoken to Zev in three months. Now, the two men were back at her door, “Do you keep a modern orthodox life, Miss Ackermann?” She regarded them carefully, “I enjoy it, yes. I wear the fashions because my aunt and her dear friend are popular designers for the movement. Though, some of the more political points are not to my liking.“ Sebastian was very into it and wanted to become even more orthodox. He didn’t like other men ogling her and they had decided as a couple that this would be a good way for them to keep themselves to one another. She felt odd thinking of it like that. She used to love dressing whatever way she wanted. 

One of them smiled, “Actually, my girls love their designs too. I know you’re from a reform family. Are you close?” she destroyed their pretenses, “Gentlemen, we’re Jews, stop talking around everything and tell me straight, what is wrong with my family?” They checked with one another before continuing, “Zev Smith, you grew up with him?” her stomach turned to knots, “Yes, he’s in the IDF. I hear he’s been on a mission for the past three months from his sister.” They frowned, “No, Miss, he’s being held in Syria in a labor camp for suspected espionage. He’s going to be sent to Iran for execution.” 

Her lips trembled, “Is that who referred me?” She needed to know. 

“No…you’re reference did not come from him. We found that it would be a conflict of interest to employ you and you know him but then you were referred and we heard you two were no longer speaking.” She pulled at her scarf, “Yes, well, he’s married.” They exchanged side glances, “Not anymore.” She shook with rage, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN?” 

“We can’t say much….the details are unknown to us.”

“How can it be unknown?!” They shifted, “If you maybe, prove your worth even more, Miss. Ackermann, maybe we can work something out. Our hands are tied when it comes to telling you information about other spies and well, this is a test of sorts for you. We’re doing what we can for Zev but he’s more than likely the next Elie Cohen.” She would not let that happen. 

*********

He was blindfolded, strapped in the chair, he never left the room and his piss and shit was everywhere. He smelled, they would do horrible things to him. They held magnifying glasses over his skin to burn him. He was tortured endlessly. He was beaten, his arms were covered in cuts and bruises. He’d not seen sunlight in months. He’d been starved and his thoughts were torn between wondering what his Vati’s food tasted like right now and her. 

Gisela was his every other thought. Gisela was what he thought of when they left and he wanted to calm himself for sleep. Gisela was a prayer on his lips before they came back. She was what he focused on when they drove him deep inside of himself, when God was far away. She was the love of his life and he was beginning to think that if he got out he’d have to give in to his sinful desire to do all the things he wanted to do since puberty. 

He thought about her smile, _the knife cut into his back_ , her beautiful laugh, _the rope wound tightly on his wrists,_ her soft hair as it bounced when she walked, _the hook slid between the rope and stung his skin,_ her feet in ballet flats as they moved on the hardwood, _they started to lift him and he screamed,_ her voice as she sang old Finnish fables, _the blood ran down his back,_ when she danced with him in Israel so closely, _his shoulders popped and strained,_ when he pushed his fingers inside of her panties and felt her, _muscles and bone straining in aching pain,_ when she looked at him with want in her eyes, _the searing pain from his skin burning as he dangled,_ when she told him she loved him in sweet Yiddish in the airport in Austria. 

Gisela was all he was living for.

**********

She tempted them with information from the French and Austrians. She was a translator, code breaker, specialist, whatever she needed to be because she was going to get him out. It didn’t matter that he’d broken her heart. He had a baby, he had had a wife, he had a life. He was her Zev and she owed his parents. She did it all so that she could bargain for him and his release. She killed, she stole, she lied, and she did it well. 

Judah came from behind her and nicked his head to the side, “You ready?” He had just arrived under the pretense he was helping her move to her new apartment with Sebastian. They’d then go back to Maria for Thanksgiving. “Yeah, we need to hurry. Sebastian is only gone for the weekend.” Judah merely stared and they walked down the street. He was quiet as per usual but then he took her arm, lips appearing next to her ear as they stood amongst the crowd, “I don’t understand what you see in him.” 

She frowned, “Judah, please…” Judah’s arms wrapped around her waist, he put his nose in the crux of neck, “You’re too good for him.” He planted a soft kiss, “Stop breaking my heart and end it. Zev isn’t married anymore and if you,” 

“Shut up.” 

She hissed and it wounded him, “He doesn’t love me like that. I’m doing this for Daddy and Vati. I’m doing this for our family. I’M DOING THIS BECAUSE IT’S RIGHT!” 

He covered her mouth before she could get louder. He moved her around to face him, “I’m sorry, G. I love you. I’m just so…..” She looked at him and her head dipped down. “Judah.” He never wanted her upset with him. He was her Achilles heel, “I’m just a brat.” She nodded and took his hand, “Let’s do this and pray it works.” He kissed her cheek, “I’m so glad to be with you.” She nodded, “When you’re away, my heart weeps. Now that you’re here, it can finally stop.” They went down to the Bahn and moved like a blitz through the city out to a section where people went missing easily and no one asked questions.

He drove a white Mercedes Benz, had a cleanly shaven beard. He was rich, handsome, had it all going for him. His wife and kids loved him. His family was mundane and well connected. Not really anything about them that seemed odd or off. However, he was a terrorist, he was dangerous, and he had killed over 1,000 US citizens and even more Jews. He was called The Dark Sheik and he was going to die. Operation Feed Your Head is what she’s called it when she jotted it down on the note pad. Judah had jumped at the chance to explore something like this with her.

What most didn’t know is that Judah had always had an inclination towards the more murderous of passions and Gisela hadn’t always deterred them. They were capable of great things, goods and evils. If hurting people was what they had to do to get Zev back, well, then they’d do it. She would make Judah if she had to. Luckily, he never needed persuading when it came to her. 

They had just enough time to get him as he walked inside of his apartment building before his body guards could follow as they sent the car away. He never felt the pin prick of sedative that she injected nor Judah’s slight of hand to keep him from pressing a panic button.

When he woke up in a basement he expected men in fatigues, maybe a nice suit. He expected car batteries, something. He did not expect a beautifully dressed young woman who made his heart skip a beat to be before him. She tilted her head, “Hello.” She spoke Arabic beautifully but he could place the accent, “Yemen?” She narrowed her eyes, smirking coyly, “Very nice. You’re a smart man. Well traveled?” 

He nodded, his arms and legs bound to a chair, “Why has a beautiful woman like you brought me here? Are you seeking an affaire? I would be open to that.” He smirked and she giggled, “I had a question, actually.” He knew he should be afraid, he knew he shouldn’t be speaking. But this harmless thing before him enchanted him, “All this for a question?” 

She smiled, “Should I have positioned myself at the foot of your stairs?” He chuckled, “Oh yes, my dove, you should have. My wife might have even asked to court you as an addition to our family.” 

“My question is a two parter. First, what’s your favorite color? Second, what are your plans this weekend?” She moved her fingers through her hair and was gone, “I like the color gold.” 

“Gold? I like the metal.” He chuckled, “Do you get a lot of gold, habibit?” She grinned, “Not enough.” Her pout was playful, “And to answer your second question I would venture I’ll be spending it however you want me to.” The was a beat of silence and she stood up. He thought a lot of things before she smiled wickedly, “Good, because this isn’t going to be good for you.” Judah appeared to the side of her and he realized he was in a very, very bad situation.

Judah had a blow torch, “One of the things your people like to do to ours is use blow torches on their feet. They told the UN it works efficiently and that they rarely do it. In the 70s you could get by with that lie but not today. Let’s see how that works out for you right now.” The Dark Sheik’s punishment began.

*********************

When she handed his body over to them they couldn’t believe it. When she produced information, well, that’s when it all got even more interesting. She had added to a list of names this one big one and then she told him that there were a few others on her list that she was in middle of securing. They took The Dark Sheik, the information, the money, and more and they started working on getting him out of Iran. Operation White Rabbit would be the end to Operation Feed Your Head.

But while she waited she thought about the interesting bit of information that he gave up over the weekend that had come as a sort of surprise: his father’s name was Uri Reiss. When she looked him up he didn’t exist except in vague references here and there. It seemed like something important was at play and she wouldn’t leave it alone. She told Judah and Nikko and they agreed to start their own investigation into the Reiss family. 

***************

She looked at him on the floor still frozen in submission and then something broke inside of her. Something raw started to scream, started to build and wrench and claw its way out. She choked it down, “Daddy,” her voice was eerily calm but the amount of control she was exercising couldn’t last long. Erwin looked up from his son on the floor, eyes glassy and wide, he had no idea what she could possibly want. “Yes, Gisela?” 

Levi and Eren were in some sort of shell shock and Armin’s fingers twitched, “Daddy, tell everyone to leave, that there will be no wedding, cancel Sasha and Connie’s food orders, pay the vendors to leave quickly, make everything go away as quickly, quietly, and efficiently as possible.” Erwin looked at Armin and Armin seemed to be in agreement, “Baba, Aba, I’m sorry.” She had tears in the corners of her eyes. 

She walked towards the bathroom in the shared office when Zev spoke, “Gisela, I,” she was pulling her veil off, pulling at the dress like it burned her, “No!” she hissed turning around, seething with rage, her control waning, Hebrew words flying from her lips like ancient curses, “No! You don’t get to fucking be sorry. You don’t get to say anything to me! Stay down there on your knees, that’s where you belong. You are poison!” He shook and the room was heavy with shock and disbelief. 

The collective family members were all looking around unsure how to handle the rapid successions of shocks. Erwin wanted to move from his place and do what she had asked but this was like a once in a lifetime event. Gisela and Zev had been inseparable since she was born. They were each other’s best friends, their confidants, and they had all believed that one day Zev would ask her to be his wife. Levi had hoped and Armin had prayed. A better match was unthinkable. 

“I did everything that I did….because I cared. Because I had to, Gigi. You don’t know what it was like. There were moments, there was…..I thought I’d never make it here in time, I,” He was crying, “I was in a place and I thought I’d die there and,” She had taken her dress off and pulled on a long sleeve loose grey dance shirt and her black leggings she’d worn under her clothes in the cold morning setting up tables. 

She grabbed a small tea cup she’d be handed this morning by her Aba who’d woken her up by stroking her hair like when she was a girl, singing softly some Yiddish wedding song that made her heart blossom. That tea cup shattered as it hit Zev’s arms when he tried to protect himself from it. 

Eren gasped audibly as Mikasa covered her mouth, “Who do you think got you out of that Iranian jail cell!? Who do think worked to keep you from hanging in the middle of that square while they jeered you and defiled your body by letting it hang for weeks? You were next Eli Cohen and I stopped it! What would your Satmar family think if you were not buried in a Jewish cemetery?” She ended in a verbal sneer moving towards the bathroom before whipping back around and leaning forward over him, “You should shave, you fucking disgust me.” 

Levi wanted to throw up and Zev was stuck to the floor, face full of shame. They heard yelling down the hall and when Erwin and Levi made it out they saw Judah slamming mercilessly his fist into Sebastian who was now on the floor sputtering blood. Ymir was fighting against Jean and Marco was trying to help him restrain her as Krista yelled and cried. Erwin came to Judah using his strength and size to pull him off of him. He was fuming and so like Levi. 

David rushed out, “It’s best if you all leave.” He had this look on his face that made Erwin pause while noticing in the back of the room how Keita was burning the Ketubah. Nikko had a sinister look to him. If he had to guess, pacifist Nikko was more than happy to let Judah beat the shit out of Sebastian. He was normally the only person other than Gisela that could reign Judah in. He looked different too. He reminded him of, _oh, that’s interesting indeed…. he looks like Levi of Badaschi._

Ezra held some sort of folder and Bellamy and Cesare were now cleaning the floor where blood had spilled. Who are these children of theirs? How are they carrying on so calmly? Why is Yoni on the phone and Tuvia at the computer?

Ymir threatened to sue them, Krista was woeful, Reiner appeared and tried to use humor to make things better, David recoiled from him, “You are the wolf in sheep’s clothing. Get out.” Erwin’s mouth fell open but Reiner didn’t seem to take him serious, “What are you talking about, Dave? We’re friends…..I’m your friend!” David punched him and an all out brawl happened. Nikko jumped Ymir, Keita pulled a knife on Bertolt who was jumped by Bellamy. Krista was suddenly a cut throat dirty fighter and went for Judah whose menacing smile all to well showed he welcomed any fight. Erwin kept his hold of him least he kill someone.

It was chaos and when Gisela appeared and pushed past Sebastian. He was screaming and pleading that she not listen to the libel against him and that he loved her, truly loved her and that it was all just white noise and lies, slander. She didn’t spare him a glance as she pushed past.

Eren and Armin were on her and everyone else, Bianca, Mila, Hannahlore, Gio, Lilly, Alexi, and then Zad were all there and trying to sort it out and get the parties separated while gleaning answers as to why this happy day had ended in blood and shattered tea cups.

Zev was behind her and he was desperate to get to her. She made her way out front and luckily all of the guests were waiting in the back. They had nothing but endless fields, parked cars, and the vet clinic and it’s animals in front of her. The left side, there was the forest, and the other side led to the roads of the town. She paused to decide where she would go without shoes, money, phone, anything. 

“Gisela!” A string of Hebrew, “Wait, please, please, Gisela let me come with you and explain!” He ran up on her. His hand went to her shoulder, “Please, I love you!” She turned around, face red, eyes shining, mouth opening in disbelief, she lost control.

She slapped him, hit him, and then kicked the side of leg till he was on the ground. He wouldn’t fight her, he submitted. She leaned down over him where he lay crumpled and screamed. It was animalistic and so loud it echoed. She screamed once, twice, a third time while holding her head. She cried, fat tears, her face looked war torn and hellish. She walked away from him and into the forest she disappeared. 

Armin and Eren watched stunned and crying over the nightmare this had turned into. Armin got to his son who was crying, a shell of himself, face contorted in pain from his heart, his soul. It all bled with the sorrow that was his curse, his righteous burden. He loved her, he loved her, he loved her, he loved her, he loves her still. 

But now she hates him. 

*********

Erwin made it all run smoothly like she’d asked him to. He thought about how she had picked him for this job and how well suited he was for handling large crowds of unhappy people. Negotiations with vendors went smoothly and aided by Yoni it all seemed to be under control. Yoni would take his place as the next Erwin when they were their age.

How strange it was to think that their children had parents at the very age they had been orphans? They even had some grandparents and that was even more strange to realize. Their children really did have it ten times better than them at their age.

Is this why it was all such a mess? Had they taken after their parents too well? He saw Tuvia writing down meticulously in a notebook but he closed it when he saw him looking, “Zev is going to need us, daddy.” Erwin nodded but he didn’t understand what he was talking about, “Right now, he needs his Vati.”

Armin wiped his face off after he shaved him. He had him in the tub like when he was a child. He wiped away the dirt, the smells, and found to his horror signs of torture all too familiar. He leaned down into his hair before washing it to smell and was relieved that it had the familiar smell of sunscreen. 

He always worried that his baby boy wasn’t wearing it. He was always worried he’d be killed simply for being different. Thank HaShem that Levi had managed to save his eyes. Thank HaShem Levi had managed to save him with his cursed serum of infinite possibilities. Armin cried as he finished taking care of his and Erwin’s little piece of Levi, their own little wolf. 

Zadkiel walked inside when he was drying him off, “He made himself pass out?” Armin nodded, tears still falling silently. Zad helped dress him in some of Erwin’s sleeper clothes and they laid him in the bed. Zad reached over and wiped the tears from his face, “He loves her. He always has.” Armin nodded, “Then how….why?” Zad shrugged, “Love is hard. Secrets are even harder.” 

Armin took Zadkiel’s hand, “How can I help my son? Can you help your first grandson?” Zadkiel looked at him and then Armin, “I can say that Zev will make it. I can try to help him but he’s got your blood too and that means he’s strong. It also means he’s capable of living double lives and pulling grand heists off. He’s dangerous to us and even more to himself because he’s got me in him. He sometimes lacks Erwin’s cautious nature. It’s more like he’s our child and not really Erwins. How do we help ourselves? That’s the real question and it’s answer will help us help him.” Armin thought for a long time while Zadkiel rubbed his back and then played with his hair soothingly, “Satmar…….Levi will not like what he’s been up to.” Zad nodded, “Not at all.”

Levi was at that moment thinking of the past.

 _Where is Yossele!?_

************

Levi paced around, “She went into the woods?!” Eren retold the group the story. Connie and Sasha canceled the rest of the order, brought what was made over, and much of their crew cleaned up the house simply to help out and earn their overtime pay they had been promised. Levi was thankful and handed out generous amounts of bleach. Mila came to him, “Levka?” he turned around and relaxed slightly, Mila, his precious Mila, “I looked for her but can’t find her. I think, however, that she should be left alone. She’s like you, you know.” 

He remembered his dream daughter and how she’d said she’d be like him in the heart. True, she had reacted the way he might. It seemed that Erwin was her Zev. If that was so, he mourned her suffering all the more, “Zev?” 

“He passed out. Armin and Zad are with him.”

**************

Armin walked down the hallway. Other people were still trying to call and ask what had happened, who had screamed, and Krista was pleading with any who would listen to just let Sebastian see her and speak with her, “They can go to the courthouse!” when she showed up that was the line she used stepping through the door that Bellamy was holding ajar. He was at a loss for what to do and Armin just couldn’t believe the gall someone would have to show up like this, now, after only two hours ago a giant brawl and disbanding had happened, “Krista, get the fuck out of my house.” 

Nikko was at the top of the stairs with Mila, Tuvia and Yoni in the kitchen watching, Eren was trying to feed kids and put stories together when he heard the familiar tone that preceded threats of disembowelment that Armin had perfected in his Abulafia days, “Get the fuck out or I will make you.” She turned steely and cool. Eren was surprised at it and he felt like there was something potentially dangerous all along about her. “And just how will you do that?” She spat and he felt Ezra twitch who was sitting in the front room. He felt all of their children change. Who were they? What was this sinister pack frenzy they had? Had they as parents created this? He was actually a bit impressed. 

Armin stood straighter and gave her a Two Wolf smile. Eren grabbed the cutting knife and that did not go unbeknownst to Judah and Aviva who came into the kitchen from the back living room. They had been searching for Gisela and now were concerned about the racket in the foyer. “Because, Krista, if you don’t fucking leave and never come the fuck back here I’ll make you and your entire family disappear.” He snapped his fingers, “Just like that, in a flash and into the air. It wouldn’t grieve me a bit to kill you.” 

Eren stepped around the island and towards the opening, “It’s not like we haven’t before.” Eren and Armin were menacing in their aura, something they hadn’t forgotten in these years of peace. She stepped forward, “I will not fall for petty threats. You two are nothing compared to what I have behind me.” Armin filed her words away in the file he’d been keeping on her since university, “I’ll eat you raw.” Armin growled and something about it seemed to really unnerve her. 

He took a step forward, “If you thought it was hard before, Armin, it just got harder.” She turned to leave and Eren locked the door and turned the security system on. Everyone was inside but Gisela. Gisela wasn’t going to be hard to find, though and Judah was slipping out before he hit the last number in the code. He would find her. Eren knew he would. 

******

She got out of the shower and started to clean her wounded feet with salves. She bandaged them hoping they’d heal soon so she could go back to dancing uninterrupted. She’d taken three weeks for her honeymoon off and now she was just working on sorting all of the lies and half truths out. Sebastian was a Reiss. She had no doubt about it. But why would he want her? Why would Lenz be his last name and did anyone know? Of course they did. Krista must be a Reiss, too. She only knew that they were threatening to plunge them all into WWIII with Rod Reiss as president and acting house speaker and foreign affairs representative. Much of his cabinet had quit. 

He was running for President again and at the behest of the people. She scoffed. The people were often mislead by populism and demagogy and his career as a four term Vice President under two different presidents made the people think, hey this guy might be what we’ve needed all along. Sixteen years and the world full of calm is a testament to it. But what she focused on was the utter turmoil that broke out after those sixteen. Did that not seem suspicious to anyone? She’d made notes of her thoughts and sent them to Mossad chief Isser the Great. 

He had sent her a letter wanting to speak with her but then heard of her wedding. He asked she see him immediately in London but Sebastian had changed their flights at the last minute. Now she was rethinking it all. Who else might have known that he had contacted her and it gotten back to Sebastian or another Reiss lacky? Who were these Reiss people and what did they want so bad that they were willing to destroy the world to get it? 

A knock on the door and she stepped out. It was Judah. She’d let him in but no one else. She had kept the lights in the tiny house off to hide herself as long as she could. She looked at him, hands cut and bloody. He had a bruised neck and shoulder where she saw his skin. He’d taken his jacket and shirt off, now in his tank top, “Zev wanted to kill him.” He said it because it was true the way he looked at Sebastian made it so. If he’d not done it, Zev would have. 

“He should have.” She managed before sobbing into his open arms. He held her, “You gotta eat and go to sleep.” She sobbed more as he took her to the kitchen and opened the small fridge, “Got it stocked the other day because I’ve been crashing in it.” “Why?” she looked at her feet as she sat on the counter. He started to make her mac and cheese the Judah way, extra butter and extra cheese. He cooked well. “Because I can’t stand bitch face.” She frowned, “Judah…..please……Aviva is my best friend. She’s my sister. She’s my everything. “

He pulled out the milk and turned to her, “And I’m your actual brother. She’s a menacing harpie.” 

“I think…….you have a crush on her.” 

“I think you must be dying. That’s so Ludicrous.” 

She wiped her face, “I’m working for Mossad and the French Foreign Legion.” He stopped for a second, “No, stop doing that.” 

“I like it.” 

“It’s dangerous.” 

“Join me.” 

“I’m a pacifist like Nikko.” She made a sour face, “He’s not what you think, our beloved brother.” Judah turned to her, “Talk.” 

“No, not yet. I want to eat, then I want to sleep.” 

Judah handed her a bowl, “Well, we’re halfway there my sweet, sweet sister.” *********************** 

Levi walked into the bedroom and looked down at Zev. He smoothed his hair back, Armin was in the bed with him resting against the headboard. “We named him Zev hoping he’d be strong like you.” 

“You cursed him.” 

“Satmar.” Armin grimaced, “You have done everything for me. You have done everything I have asked of you.” Levi bit his lip, getting emotional. Armin continued, “And I made a deal with the devil and I have never for one second regretted it. These years of peace we so perfect. They were beautiful. Everything was so good and nothing hurt.” Armin was reduced to a withering mess. Levi stroked his hair, “Tomorrow, is a new day.”

******************

Judah held her closer than death, he kept a firm grasp on her, his lips brushed across her hair, “I’ll always protect you. But I feel like I failed. I asked Zev to keep tabs on him in Israel but you were just so in love,” 

“I was tricked by well placed words and circumstance. I was blind, foolish, no more. I will never trust like I have again.” 

Judah’s blood boiled, “What?” 

“Sebastian is from Maria and somehow ends up at the same program as me, same apartment building, everything right when things between me and Zev were forming and then BAM he’s right there when it all falls apart. I have loved Zev since I was born, I have been in love with him since I was 13. When I was 19 we started a relationship that was sugar baby-ish and I thought we were on the same page. I say it was like that because he came to me saying he wanted to spoil me, he wanted to try and get over his issues seeing me like a sister.” 

Judah cringed, he’d only known a little and didn’t meddle in Zev’s business with his sister, “What the fuck are you talking about? You need to tell me things in a more simple way.” 

“When they took away our rights as Jews in France we were strapped for cash. He showed up, said if I was going to take money from men it should be him. Aviva and I were sugar baby-ing to make cash and support our family while Nikko worked under the table at the hospital clinic and Mila was our fall back. He would show up, pay, and we’d go on dates. A year of us dancing around one another and I was so happy, so very happy and optimistic. Then we had a fight, he told me he was getting married, had a baby on the way. He told me this was just business and nothing but obligation. He told me I was pitiful and I was. I am.”

Judah was crying silently, “No, you are not don’t ever say that shit to me.” 

“Then when I heard he got out of the prison I thought he’d come to me and we could maybe talk but I didn’t want him to know it was us,” 

“It was you, Gigi, I just followed orders,” 

“so he wouldn’t feel like he had to. I wanted it to be real but it was just a real mess. We said horrible things. Sebastian knew what to say to me and I know now that he’s a Reiss, Judah. He’d been prepared to court me since the first day I saw him. He did it when I was away from you, away from Aba, Baba, Nikko, Ezra, and most importantly he was there when Zev wasn’t and he listened to how hurt I was and he was always there to wedge me away from him. But, when he wrote me that letter where he basically revealed I was going to be a baby machine and live in landlocked Arkansas I was going to call it off right there and then Zev was there.” She huffed, wiping her face, the morning light coming in through the small window in the loft, “Fuck him.”

Judah felt horrible for her and for Zev, “He loves you.” 

“He’s too fucking late.” She was like razor blades and nails, hard and lethal. Her words seared from their heat. Judah cringed, “No, Gisela.” He started and she sneered, “You can’t be fucking serious.” 

“He loves you. You have to talk to him. We…G, I want you with Zev. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me he was your daddy.” 

“I didn’t want to complicate things.” 

“Fuck, G. Don’t ever lie to me.” He immediately felt bad. He’d never told her that Aviva was carrying his child. But, he didn’t ever plan on admitting that to anyone. “I want to talk to Aba.” She said sadly and Judah sighed, “Why Aba?” She was quiet and thought for a long time, “Because, my heart….is broken.” Judah started to choke up, he kissed her, “Then let’s go see Aba. I can’t let you stay like this.” She gave him a quivering lip and a soft smile, “I love you so much. I just….I’ll tell you the whole thing once I sort it all out.” He hoped she would.

**********************

Nikko had gone for a run and was walking back inside of the house. He’d read the file and processed what he could when he saw Keita waiting for him in the living room he prepared himself, “We need to talk.” Keita’s face was pleasant but it was a deceitful thing, “I suppose so.” Nikko checked his phone and Mila had sent him a text asking if he could meet her for lunch; He heard her move upstairs to head down,“I’ve got lunch plans so let’s make it quick.” Keita sneered, “I see you.” Nikko raised an eyebrow, “You do? I’d hope so. I’m right here.” Ezra came from the back porch inside, “If this is what you want, then I’ll get the others.” 

“Don’t bother.” 

Yoni appeared with Tuvia and Zev. “We’ve been waiting.”

Zev looked like death warmed over and his bruises were only just disappearing. He walked like he was in pain. He’d been tortured and Nikko wanted to give him anything, something to make the pain go away. Zev looked at him, “Gisela?” He had tears in his eyes and then Aviva appeared, “She’s not here, Zevka.” The door opened and then she was with Judah right next to her. She looked at the floor, anywhere but him. He wanted to die, he wanted to die right there. They all moved more into the living room where Nikko and Keita stood ready to fight.

”I’m in the Aman. I know you’re French Foreign Legion, Nikko. How could you?” Nikko snorted, cocky, not at all how most of them would normally describe him but they all knew inside this was lurking. He was too much like Levi for that side of lethal gun metal not to be there. “Keita, I get it. You’ve been spying and think you’ve got it all figured out. You don’t know shit.” 

Hannahlore came inside, “Don’t Keita,” she warned him as his hand clenched. Yoni and Tuvia were on edge, Zev was still a nervous wreck and Gisela so near him made him worse. She moved forward so she could be closer to NIkko and Judah naturally stuck to her like a shadow. “Are you going to fight me, Keita? Is that what you wanted? To jump me? Do it. But what point will it make when you’re done? You’ll have just revealed the ugly we’ve all seen and chose to tolerate.”

Keita was red in the neck and his jaw tight, “Gisela has suffered because of you, not me. I had things under control.” He turned to her, “It’s time to choose, all of you. It’s me or him. Who do you want to follow?” The room was silent and the tension suffocating. Hannahlore’s face was grim. She looked to Yoni whose fingers twitched, “Why do we have to push it?” Tuvia was the one who spoke next, “It’s not really something we should push, you know?” 

Keita sighed exasperatedly, he looked to Yoni, snubbing Tuvia, “Yoni, you’ve seen how things go when there are too many chiefs. Come on, we’ve all got an idea of what each of us can give the group. I’ve proven myself, I’m slated to move up as head of the Aman. I would have us based in Israel. I’d have the group made officially its own branch. What would Nikko do? He’s not even loyal to our homeland, he’s been a pacifist his whole life! He can’t even eat meat,” 

“It seems your issues with my brother have little to do with his abilities and more with his diet.” Ezra cut in with a hint of a threat beneath his words.

Gisela looked over at him, fangs ready to be used. Keita kept going, “He’s running his operation from France. They hate us there, they hate us everywhere but Israel. He doesn’t delegate orders properly, there is a paper trail, there is no chain of command. I have structure. He got involved without planning. It shows.” Nikko merely stared while Yonni moved uncomfortably, “Alexi and Lilly are not here to speak.” 

“They’re not here and Bellamy isn’t here.” 

Zev said softly, “They should be here.” 

“Bellamy doesn’t count.” Keita said dismissively. 

“I do count.” Bellamy, Lilly, and Alexi had come from downstairs having fallen asleep talking in the night, “And I can smell it all the way over here.” Keita sneered, “What?” Bellamy’s bite was harsh, “You and the bullshit you’re full of.” It was menacing and Lilly took his hand, “Calm down, we can’t wake the others.” Alexi nodded, “But, he’s right. Why do they count and he doesn’t?”

He nicked his head at the Smiths and they didn’t take it personally. They knew he was right and Aviva spoke up, “I’ll tell you why.” She squared off with Keita, “Because there are more of us than you and it would be advantageous of him to have us, royalty, on his side. He seems to be one who thinks certain people are worth more than others. You know, Nikko treats us all the same, you’ve got _preferences._ ” She looked pointedly at Gisela and Gisela shivered. Aviva loved her, this wasn’t an attack. The group was turning and he knew it. Apparently, he’d not done as well as he thought turning people’s favor. 

Nikko looked at him, “Things aren’t going the way you planned it seems.” 

“What did you mean when you said “get us our own division?” Judah put his arm around Gisela’s waist pulling her closer. He felt trapped. Something was trapping him and he could feel it. Something had been planned out with him in mind without consulting him. 

Keita was trying to be persuasive, “We all know we're special. We can feel it. We’ve figured out things on our own like the water is tampered with, the political scene is being controlled, the waves of terror follow patterns that link up with the political schemes and it’s not just common for ever action blah blah blah but that there is a family that controls it all, the Reiss family and they hide among us like vermin. We feel them, we know them, we sense them.” 

“We’re often drawn to them and there have been people who’ve tried to destroy them all across the board but have failed. We are those people who are tasked with this now and you know it. It just happens that Israel was the only country that had anything in place that we could use and be accepted to. Because they had information about the Reiss family and we’ve learned that it’s because they were Jews and all of that complicated history we passed around to one another all those summers ago it only makes sense to partner with them long term and fall under their protection.”

“No,” Nikko was strong, “that’s where you’re wrong. We need to work with them, yes, but keep their name out of it. Do you know how it looks? The Aman involved in what is to many a conspiracy theory? For the love of our country we can partner with them in secret and I propose we work under the aliases of other countries as protection. Tuvia in Poland, the Aristov-Nebetovs in Russia, Zev in Germany, Gisela in Austria, me in France, Judah here in America with Yoni and his travels to Canada, and Ezra could handle south America. In short, I think that operating under the auspicious that we’re not operating will keep us from being targeted. Hence our recent brush with danger.” 

Nikko looked like he could rip Keita’s throat out. Gisela inhaled, “You did it.” She looked at Nikko and he grimaced, “YOU SENT THEM TO ME.” Her voice was high pitched, shocked, “WHY?” Nikko bit his lip, “Because they would watch you. Because they would learn about you. Because they…” 

“Were coming for me. I was bait… You send the Mossad to cover for me because someone had given up the information that I was working with the French. I was being sold out….I bet the same organizations that I bought information from was selling my own. But, who would set me up as bait? Oh….God…I was a sacrifice.” 

Keita swallowed, “Not really.” She looked at him, _Oh God, Keita…_ “Yeah, I was…because they were connected to Zev. Because they were connected to me and I…” she started putting things together, “Keita, you found out that Reiss were tracking Zev. How?” Keita shifted, “Zev slept with a target, a honeypot. He did it because to not would have blown his cover. But then things got complicated because she was actually a Satmar girl whose father was a high ranking rabbi and they cornered him. He’d been infiltrating the sect in order to test a theory that the Satmar are working with the Reiss family. Turns out she was pregnant and they came down on him hard to marry her. He did and through his persistence he was able to get in deep. Unfortunately, someone figured it out that his extensive back story ended bluntly when a call was made to an old rabbi on his deathbed in France. Soon, they arranged for him to head Syria on goodwill mission to another community and that’s where they got him. Syria is where we lost him.”

There was silence in the room, “And me?” 

“He kept a picture of you. His ex found it. She turned it over and that was it.” 

“Why did you get divorced?” She looked at him shyly and his eyes were full of tears, “Baby wasn’t mine. I was trapped real good. Baby was clearly a boy in the community that always hung around her. I had a test done later. The only reason I really even married her was because she was pregnant and if it was an albino…” Gisela nodded, “But, why? I just don’t understand.” 

“We need a talk….just us…please.” Aviva started to cry and Judah held Gisela tighter, his heart hurt for them both. 

Gisela nodded and went back to trying to sort it all out. “Keita, you wanted Zev to be away from me to improve your chances. You used me to trap Nikko. You set me up. You set me up and when I was in danger you couldn’t even pull me out of the fire so Nikko had to. You sacrificed your own family.” Zev looked at Keita, “What does she mean, “Improve your chances?” 

There was a tense moment that passed by, “All is fair in love and war.” 

Zev thought about how that case could have been given to anyone else. 

He thought about how Keita would have been in Austria the entire time. 

Gisela was plastered across the desk of terror organizations. Nikko had done the right thing. He made her competitive. Keita didn’t even look ashamed. 

Keita moved closer, “It was never meant to be like this.” 

Zev smiled, “No, I suppose you never thought it’d go like it did.” 

_Slam._

_Zev punched Keita so hard his nose broke. He rushed him, slamming him into the wall and brutally punching him the gut. Keita’s knee raised and he twisted out of his grip, tossing him across from him and rushing him. There was the sing of a knife. Daggers went into the wall rapidly as Yoni pulled Hannahlore away and Judah tossed Gisela and Aviva behind him. Ezra and Cesare tried to break them up but Nikko was now involved. It seemed that Keita decided to make it a free for all._

_Nikko’s face was cut, he and Zev were fighting Keita tooth and nail. Furniture was thrown around and broken. Judah put Aviva and Gisela in the kitchen and Bellamy grabbed Lilly while Alexi tried to break it up. There was blood everywhere. Mila pulled Nikko away, tears running down her face. His abdomen was stabbed multiple times and Keita limped horribly while Zev tore into him like the wolf he was. Tuvia had finally wedged between them. Bianca at his side. She was always fierce and unafraid but when Keita’s elbow smashed into her Tuvia lost his shit and Hannahlore jumped in much to Yoni’s dismay. She was very much her mother’s daughter._

_Gisela came back inside to check on Nikko and get help from someone but Judah wouldn’t let Aviva leave the room. There was yelling. More fighting with even more of the siblings and cousins. Gio was involved and he looked manic. Then came the rush down the stairs and their parents were there, screaming, pushing, pulling, and trying to figure out who was bleeding. Eren was on Nikko in seconds but Mila was already putting pressure on his wounds. Levi was frantic over his son while worrying about his others and daughter. He looked to see Judah not in the fight and with Aviva safely in the kitchen._

Gisela stood against the wall as everyone was separated and interrogated. Erwin announced that they’d seen it all and heard it all. The house was wired and camera were everywhere. Keita was in bad shape and so was Zev. They needed medical attention and the serum would have to be used. Hannahlore cupped Keita’s face and put his head in her lap. She had tears in her eyes. But, Zev was changed. His demeanor, his entire disposition was altered because of it all, “You ruined my life.”

Gisela looked over at him as he said the words staring at Keita from his side of the room. Armin’s hands stilled and Erwin tensed awaiting a fight. Gisela cried silently, overcome with sadness. Levi and Eren finally had Nikko stabilized and when Levi turned around she was pitiful. “What sides were you choosing?” Erwin asked Keita as he laid there. No one answered. 

Gisela looked at Levi, “Your father's name was Saul; your brother’s Goliath. And David, he reigns in his kingdom with his son,” she paused, “but where is his brother? Does he have birkat HaMelech?” Levi’s entire body went hot. Eren looked at her, “Gigi, what are you talking about?” Levi stared at her, “How do you know that? How can you...you said that but it was a dream. You were not even born.” She was still crying, “We have to choose Keita or Nikko. Zev has to bless one.” 

“Why?” 

“Because we’ll follow the one who he blesses in order to accomplish our goals.” 

“What is your goal or goals?” 

“To rid the world of amalek.” 

“Who are they?” 

“The Reiss family.” 

Keita sputtered blood and they all went back to healing everyone who was injured. Gisela looked at Zev but it hurt too much. By the time Judah allowed Aviva to leave the kitchen, his hand gripping her arm the entire time, she was a mess and he carried her upstairs and away mumbling about the baby. Erwin separated everyone else into the rooms upstairs for “rest.” 

“Daddy, you’re just going to interrogate us.” Tuvia was worried about Hannahlore and wanted to talk to her. Erwin gave him a stern look, “Well, maybe you all should have thought about that before you all destroyed the house.” Tuvia frowned epically, “Daddy! As if this is our fault!” Erwin shrugged, “Don’t know who else could be at fault.” Tuvia stewed, “BRACHA! GET ME SOMETHING TO DRINK!” Bianca popped her head out of the bathroom, “I’m not your WIFE AND THAT’S NOT MY NAME!” Tuvia fell on the rug dramatically and Erwin stared, “You do realized I’m married to “Amrin I am the most dramatic in the world,” right?” 

Judah looked at Aviva who was holding Gisela. He sighed, “You got this covered?” It wasn’t that mean and Aviva looked up, “Yeah.” He left to find Zev. Gisela and Aviva were in the office on the couch. Gisela looked at the bookshelf that was full of knowledge. Levi’s chair was empty and it made her sad, “Aviva...I work for the Mossad and French Foreign Legion. I have killed, sold information, tortured, interrogated, and lied. I have done a lot of things and I don’t even feel that bad about them. I only feel bitter that I had to do most of them to survive or help someone survive.” 

Aviva stroked her hair, “I know. I don’t care. I love you.” Gisela closed her eyes and heard Mikasa and David uncharacteristically yelling. *** 

Zev was shaking, Levi moved the tea cup closer, “Please don’t shake.” Zev snorted, “No, it’s because of the shocks….like with Vadimas…” Levi stared, his heart heavy, “The serum might need to be boosted to repair that.” Zev looked at the covers on the bed. Armin had tucked him in brought up some food. He wasn’t eating and drinking enough. “What happened?” Zev started to really look like he might sob, “Well, I went into the Mossad, not the IDF. I was working in secrets and darkness. They recruited me and they plan on recruiting others in the family.” 

Levi stared, ‘Why?” 

“Because we can sense Reiss. It’s a feeling in our gut, sort of like a buzzing. It’s not so strong if you don’t work on it, like a muscle you know. You have to strengthen it. I’m good at it…” 

Levi and Eren were quiet, “And the wife?” Zev coughed, “She….I mean, aba what do you want me to say? She was a honeypot and sad. She was so sad to be in that community and lifestyle and she was terrified to leave. I set her up with her new husband outside of the community. She probably worries her son will be kidnapped like Yossele.” Levi’s skin flushed red and Zev didn’t let it go unnoticed, “How do you know who Yossele is, aba?” Levi didn’t let him throw him, “What was the nature of your relationship with Gisela and why did you stop talking to her?” 

Zev felt all the eyes in the room on him, “I needed a cover for Europe and I knew she needed money. I have loved her my entire life. I was selfishly looking for a way to be with her but not because of my own personal issues. I was her sugar daddy and I took every transfer I could to follow her and stay with her and take care of her. She told me she loved me and asked me to define what we were doing. But, I was getting on a plane to head back to do field work. I didn’t do it. I fucked up. I didn’t tell her and then I was trapped…” 

He was now red, “But, honestly, it’s not even that simple.” 

Armin pushed, “Is that where Keita comes in?” 

Zev looked furious, “You all know he’s like Gisela, too. Apparently, he came up with some pretty good distractions to keep me away for long periods. He sent me on the mission, he knew it meant going undercover and deep, he knew that she was seeing someone and there’s no way he didn’t. He probably knew the child wasn’t mine because he often said I could just leave. I don’t care how hurt I was I would have never stooped so low. He’s angry because I haven’t chosen anyone yet and I think he took my marriage and resolvement to just die in that cover as his opportunity to take down his competition. He wouldn’t need a blessing if he was the only one with a plan.” 

“What does that mean? Why do you have to pick?” Zev bit his lip, “All we know is what’s in the bank.” They all wanted to throw up, “The Smith’s have to pick someone to help them. Obviously, I want to choose an Ackermann but that angers him.” Erwin was suspicious, “Who told you such strange things?’ Zev frowned, “In Israel they have some documents but we pieced it together through what was in the bank in Paris.” 

“Who showed you the bank?” 

“Vati told Judah about it. When they came for everyone he was told to run and to tell Nikko about it. Gisela saw it in her dreams. She helped piece a lot together but mostly what we learned was confirmed by Israel. Apparently, they want us to form our own division. I think we should.” 

“And you make those choices?” 

“Yeah, I do. I’m the white prince.” 

Eren moved in his seat, “Damn.” *** 

Zev laid on his stomach while Erwin stood over him. He was still asleep almost two days later. He reached down and carded his fingers through his hair. He cried a little but only because he thought of how hard it must have been. Armin had kissed his scars and sobbed. Levi was trying to come up with some sort of way to handle it all and weeping on the side for Nikko. Nikko was in bed and Mila wouldn’t stop fretting. 

Gisela walked into the office while Levi sat at the desk. She sat in his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, “I love you.” Levi kissed her head, “Sweet girl. I love you.” He held her, leaning back in his chair, “I’m so sorry.” She pressed her face into the crook of his neck, “Sebastian needs to be handled legally. He keeps threatening me..” Levi stroked her back, “Yes, I know.” She held him tighter, “I can’t forgive him. He could have said no. He could have had Reuven do it. He didn’t have to sleep with her. He didn’t have to do any of it. He could have told me, plain and simple.”

She seemed so sad but so tired. Levi agreed, “He should have told you.” Her tears made his shirt damp, “Did Erwin ever do anything like that to you?” Levi was a little surprised at that question. She always called him daddy and she never asked about their past really, “Erwin has….definitely done things in our past…” He didn’t know what to say, “We went through a lot but he always loved me. I wasn’t so easy to convince. He always did, though. He loved me enough to do horrible things.” 

Levi thought about the past and sighed, “It was only a matter of time.” She pulled back and he wiped her tears away, “I love you, Gisela, Please don’t stop loving me.” That concerned her and pained her, “What? Why would I?” He reached into his desk and unlocked one of the boxes, “Here you go. We’re going to have a family meeting tomorrow night and I’m sure baba will be baking and I’ll be making something…” She held the book in her hands, “This is huge.” 

He smirked, “It’s just the first half.” **** 

Erwin went down to the kitchen and saw Judah at the table leaned over spreadsheets. He was balancing his books and checking up on his business. These were moments that he looked so much like his father that it made Erwin’s heart skip a beat. He looked stressed and upset. Erwin went unnoticed by him and he started trying to busy himself.

A half hour later Judah’s head was down on the table pounding because he didn’t know how he was going to take care of child if asked and his sister without straining some of the aspects of the club but he’d make it work somehow but shit the tax hike in the ghetto was- 

_Slide_

Judah looked up and saw a plate of pancakes. But, these were special, “White Tigers.” Erwin was cleaning up but he also kept making stacks of them. Eren came in and stopped. He watched as Judah looked at the blueberry stripes, the strawberry nose, the eyes and whiskers that Erwin had really put a lot of effort into. Judah looked like he might cry. Judah never cried. He started eating his pancakes and Eren watched as Erwin sat down next to him and then wrapped his arm around him. 

Mila walked by and saw him, “Where is the israeli candy, uncle Eren? I know you have some hidden.” She was so tired he wanted to tie her to the bed. Hanji was walking towards them, “Hanji, when did you get in the house?” 

“MILA! Gisela, Hannahlore, Bianca, Lilly, and Aviva have all confirmed that you’re not resting and something is wrong with you! GET IN THE BED OR I’LL MAKE UNCLE LEVI MAKE YOU!” Oskar followed, “Mila, you look horrid, dear. Nikko is resting, why can’t you? Why don’t you spend some time at home away from everyone? Is it spending all that time together? Do you need space?” She stared blankly, “I need people to stop fucking worrying about me and what I do.” She walked off and went upstairs. Hanji and Oskar were both shocked and worried.

Nikko was sleeping on and off, exhausted and depressed. Mila opened the door and slowly crawled in the bed with him. Nikko felt her arms circle around him, “If he chooses Keita, then you have to stop.” Nikko sighed, “I think I know what’s going to happen.” She cried not for the first time from stress. He wanted this to be over.

*

Zev walked around the house feeling for her. It was dark, the middle of the night. He found her in the office and stood in the doorway. Her body tensed up and the vibrations coming off of her let him know he was not to come any closer. He moved to the side where the bookshelf began and slid down to sit. He watched her read, the only light from her lamp behind her. There wasn’t any moon light. It was so dark. 

He didn’t mind. 

She was there. * 

He didn’t move and she didn’t either. The sun had come up but it was an overcast day. She was finished with her book and she laid on the couch. “The...I said those hateful things because I wasn’t sure who was tracking you and how they were tracking you. I thought the photos may have been because we had been out together. I thought I could be the link. I stayed because I had a suspicion that he was a Reiss and I wanted to know for sure.” 

She didn’t respond. 

“Do you remember One Eye?” 

She didn’t respond. 

“He...he’s against the Reiss family. I worked with him, too. I got him to help me take care of Chaim and….Iran’s uranium-” 

“You helped Iran get uranium after all the trouble the Iran deal did and now you think that by giving them poor quality uranium in order to catch a group that arguably had access to large sums of money makes it all okay? Do you know how many times Mossad and Shin Bet have combated Israel’s neighbors in their attempts to become nuclear? I’m sure you do. So, nothing about your story even makes sense to me.” 

“It was my job.” 

“I don’t give a fuck what it was. You never had to make the choices you chose to make.” 

“One eye wants me to join him.” 

There was silence. 

“Then go.” 

Zev looked at the ground, “I love you.” 

“You couldn't possibly have ever loved me and done what you did to me.” 

Zev started to sob, “Gisela, I love you. I have always loved you.” 

“Please, stop.” 

He held his head in his hands and sobbed violently, “You are my everything.” 

She moved off the couch and over to him, “Stop being so fucking weak.” She leaned over him sneering, “You’re a fucking king, act like it.” She had the book in her hands and he grabbed her legs when she tried to walk past, “Please, please forgive me. Please….I love you. I love you.” She ached and pulled away.

He stood up and grabbed her pulling her back inside and pushing her against the door, “Gisela Yael, I cannot lose you. I cannot lose the only thing that kept me alive in that cell. I can’t. Please, please.” She was crying silently, “Stop pushing me.” He wept and she looked at him, his scars now gone thanks to the serum but the mental wounds would remain. “I will make you pay for everything you did to me.” 

He laughed shortly, “Yes! Please, torment me. Never leave me alone. I don’t want to be alone. Haunt me, treat me like shit. Like Heathcliff said needing just one last sign from Catherine, "Come in! come in!...Cathy, do come. Oh, do—once more! Oh! My heart's darling, hear me this time—Catherine, at last!” I will take open hand or closed fist from you just please don’t let me alone in this world, Gisela. Don’t leave me alone.” 

She pushed away from him and left the room while he cried.

***

Keita started recruiting family members when World War III began. She sat on the sofa, numb. Everyone started talking in groups and signing up. Their parents looked like zombies. Gisela cleared her throat and went to get copies she’d made of the book. Levi looked horrified when she returned, “I think now everyone should read this, aba.” Zev stood to the side, she glared at him. He didn’t mind as long as she was looking at him. Erwin and Levi mourned for them.

Talk began about the book and Zev started thinking. 

Erwin took Levi to the side, “You know….when I felt cornered…” Levi looked up at him, “What are you talking about?” Erwin looked at Zev, “He’s thinking. When I start thinking….” Levi deadpanned, “You don’t think.” Erwin saw how Zev kept looking at a very unhappy Gisela, “I would have done anything, anything, to keep you near me. I did do anything and you were attached to me.” 

Keita demanded to know who Zev chose as his second in command. 

Nikko looked sick. 

Mila looked sick. 

Zev cleared his throat, “I have to choose an Ackermann. It’s how it’s always been. Plus, I hate you, Keita. You have made me hate you so thoroughly I’d never be able to trust you or work with you again.” He looked at Nikko. Nikko’s face was stoic like Levi’s. “So, I pick Gisela.” Keita’s face fell. She looked like she might scream, “No!” He looked at her, “I’ve made my choice. It’s binding.” Levi turned to Erwin and Erwin shrugged, “He’ll attach her to him even in death. I would have done the same to you, _Captain_.” Levi’s eyes were wide, _like father like son._

Levi thought about the fence. He thought about when Erwin left him in the yard. He thought about all the times Erwin was there and the few times he wasn’t. He thought about he had blackmailed him into his position under him. He thought about how he had killed those who had gotten too close to him. Zev and Erwin were the same.

Now, their children would know these things, too.

There was laughter, a gurgle of a giggle. Then a chuckle, then a waterfall of laughter that was so manic and disturbed everyone had to look at where it was coming from. Nikko was laughing, face red, eyes bloodshot. Mila looked frozen, her hand on his shoulder. Nikko was shaking, slamming his hands down, “Wofür!? WOFÜR?!” (What for!? WHY!?) Mila’s hand tightened on his shoulder, “Nehemiah.” He laughed violently and then stood up, “I’m finished. I’m finished.” 

Zev moved off the wall, “Nikko….Nikko I-” Nikko waved him off, “Brother, it’s fine. It is. I’m just….I’m just going to go.” Mila huffed and then started to laugh as well. Nikko ran his hands through his hair, “I have to leave.” Mila stood up and Zev frowned, “But, the war.” Nikko nodded, “I’ll be there. But, not right now.” Gisela was beat red and Judah uncomfortable, “You can’t just choose her…..Choose me instead.” Zev looked at Judah, “Sorry, Jude. It had to be her.” 

Gisela was livid, “You trapped me again. I’ll make your life hell.” She was full of venom and Levi knew it well. Erwin closed his eyes, “I hope you do, Gigi.” 

***

They all read the books and each of them had different reactions. Their parents answered questions. When Gisela went to Nikko’s room he was gone and so was Mila. Hanji was distraught. Oskar tried to comfort her. Levi was scared. Eren nervous. But, then they all had to decide what it meant for them all to be in their own squad.

Keita sat at the table drinking in Judah’s club, “We’ll have to go into the army normally and work on convincing them that we deserve our own division with other ones under us. Some of the soldiers already know about the Reiss family and they’re going to want to work with us since our parents are basically famous.” He looked at Gisela as she finished Judah’s cigarette, “Aviva don’t sit here when I smoke.” Aviva pouted, “I just want to be included. Gisela noted the twitch in Judah’s neck. 

“Since I am the Ackermann in charge, I say that we start building up our knowledge base about the Reiss at all costs.” Judah buried his nose in her hair and groaned, “You know, I think we should get Sebastian and torture the information out of him.” He’d been trying to call her but his voicemails had revealed his true reasons for marrying her: his mother. “He only wanted to marry me to make his mother love him.” Keita drug his hand on the table, “She’s a Reiss, she wanted him to marry you and then that would be the “in” they would have into our family.”

Tuvia sighed, “I’m heading to Poland first.” Bianca swallowed, “I think I should sign up.” Gio grumbled, “No, please don’t.” She cut her eyes over, “Gisela gets to be the warrior princess but not me?” Gio frowned, “I don’t want anyone to go to be honest.” Judah smirked, “We could use a big guy like you.” Gio looked at Bellamy who was eating sweets, “He’s got a point.” Cesare pouted, “You’re all so fucking stupid.” Gio frowned, “Don’t be like that.” 

“You have no reason to go, Gio.” 

“Why is that?” 

Ezra tensed up, “Stop.” 

“You’re,” Cesare leaned over, “not Jewish.” 

Keita and Zev turned blood red but didn’t want to get into it right then. Gisela opened a bottle of Coconut rum and drank it straight. Aviva was annoyed at everyone. Gisela looked over Zev who still couldn’t stand the sight of Keita, “When do we go?” Zev answered, “In two weeks.” 

“Does that mean you’re staying here for those two weeks?” 

He looked at her, “Yes.” 

She was harsh, “Then I’ll need to find somewhere else to be.” *** 

The ground was unforgiving as she dropped to it and began moving across it with her gun, “ACKERMANN! ACKERMANN MOVE!” She grit her teeth and rolled. “ACKERMANN GET YOUR FUCKING GUN IN LINE!” She didn’t understand what was wrong with her form. Then the sergeant walked over to Ezra, “ACKERMANN! YOU WILL KILL SOMEONE WITH BAD FORM.” She rolled her eyes and listened as Ezra was yelled at. 

She went back to her bunker and an officer approached her, “You decode?” She stared, “Do you need something decoded?” She smiled, “Yeah, we do.” *** 

Gisela spent hours in the think tank while performing drill. Judah hated it and went walking around the camp looking for Zev. He didn’t know why but he wanted to see him and talk to him about how he was doing. Soon they’d be getting their own rooms and it wasn’t uncommon for any of them to see him trying to touch Gesila or gravel telling her how much he loved her only for her to beat the shit out of him. Judah hated it.

He found him in his bunker. He didn’t have to really do much and it seemed that lot of soldiers left him alone. Word got out about what he’d gone through and that made him a legend. Judah opened the door and then shut it. Zev’s night light was on and some music. Judah walked over to the bed, “You and my sister are a trash fire.” 

Zev looked pitiful, “As long as she’s hitting me and yelling at me I don’t care.” Judah frowned, “Have you tried anything other than being weak and crying?” Judah stewed in frustration. Zev hummed, “I don’t know what you mean?” Judah walked around in the dark, “Try showing her you’re not so fucking broken.” Zev smiled, “I’ll just follow your orders and what I’ve learned from my father. But, I can’t make her forgive me or love me. I just don’t want her to leave me. I am a selfish man.” 

Judah felt Zev’s hand on his as he pulled him towards the bed, “Now, is that the only reason you came?” Judah didn’t know what he meant. His stomach clenched and then his phone went off, “I’m leaving.” He pulled back and went outside of the trailer. It was Aviva.

The door opened again, “No, you’re not even getting away after spending all day trying to track me down.” He was pulled back into the trailer and his phone put on the table. Zev pulled him down on the bed with him and Judah fought him, “STOP IT!” Zev chuckled, “You’re gunna love me.” Zev held him close and while Judah pouted and pushed back he actually was thankful for it, “Make things right with my sister.” Zev nuzzled his face against his, “I love her.” His voice cracked. 

Judah sighed, “I do, too.” *** 

She was sore from drill and limping, “Gisela?” Zev appeared from the shadows and she sneered, “I don’t have time for you. I just got my ass ripped apart by one of those Aman guys over Judah!” She was frustrated. He was, too. As the leaders of their family unit they had to bargain and plead for their rights and the rights of their family members. Zev stepped closer, “Make time.” It was a command, gruff and challenging. Her eyes narrowed, “You sicken me.” 

He stalked closer, “You do the opposite to me.” She grit her teeth, “Go away from me with this.” He got closer, slowly circling, “I think you should make me.” She arched her back, a low warning sound in her throat, “What is your fucking problem, idiot?” He moved quickly and she was ready. All of those years of Krav Maga made the fight quick but effective. Zev pinned her down and she managed to free a hand to slap him with it. Blood appeared on his lip but he smiled, “Kaetzchen, I love when you’re feisty.” 

She growled, “You never took control of anything before so what the fuck is this?” He kissed her and she bit him slapping him again, “Ha! Are you going to rape me?” She was bitter, venomous, but she felt him freeze, “I would never rape you or anyone.” They were there in silence, not moving, tense. Gisela exhaled, “What are you doing?” Zev tried to smirk, “Trying to convince you to let me pleasure you.” She slapped him again and rolled her eyes, “Pig.” 

He pushed her down again, “Don’t pretend that you don’t want to let off some steam.” She slapped him again, “Fuck you.” He smirked, “Let me fuck you.” She leaned up to spit in his face, “You’ll not be rewarded. It’ll all be about me.” He smiled, his masochist soul ached, “Let me prove my worth.” She glared, “There is nothing worthy about you, maggot.” He picked her up and brought her into his trailer while her nails scratched his neck and her teeth drew blood from his lips. 

He placed her on the bed. They struggled with one another. She tried to flip them so she could be on top. He kept her pinned, opening her shirt, ripping buttons off. His lips were on her throat and she groaned animalistically before pushing his head further down her body, “Make me come. But, you,” she inhaled shakily, “you don’t deserve to come.” He agreed, “Anything you say, Kaetzchen.”

***

Like their fathers had done they started hate fucking each other as the days went on. She was cruel, hard to dominate. She took control a lot as well. He found out that she liked him more when Judah had been in trouble. She also wasn’t so angry anymore unless provoked. he wondered if somehow they could turn this around into something better, something loving. But, he’d take what he could get till then. 

She never let him come, she just teased. “Do you like that, bitch?” Her foot pressed on his tied cock. He hummed, “Yes.” She sat down on him. His length throbbed inside of her tight warm heat. He moaned and she choked him, “You disgust me.” He broke free of her grip and kissed her hotly. He kissed her so passionately he thought something would change between them. But, she came and she left him unspent and sad. 

Judah returned to him, “I’m not happy.” Zev laid on the bed, “You’re not?” Judah sneered, “Could you put some fucking clothes on?!” He tossed something on his sex and sat down, “I don’t know how to describe it. I’m not happy. Gigi is upset. She’s not happy.” Zev looked at him, “It’s because we don’t have our own unit yet.” Judah looked at the wall. Zev’s hand rubbed up and down his back, “Wanna fool around?” 

Judah sat up straight, “NO! I’m not gay.” Zev chuckled, “I didn’t say anything about your sexuality. I just wanted to know if you’d indulge me.” Judah frowned, “I can find a girl.” Zev laughed, “Once again, I never implied you couldn't. I just wanted to know if you’d like to get off with someone and that someone be me.” Judah pouted, “If this is how you woo my sister no wonder she hates you.” He stood up and Zev frowned, “What has made you so sad? Why are you upset?” 

Judah didn’t respond, “You think everyone at home is okay?” Zev nodded, “Yeah. Anyone in particular?” Judah shrugged, “No.” **** 

Zev was against the wall, his gun to his side. Gisela ran past along the other one and shot a man. He stayed on her, never losing sight. He had found her trapped in her wet suit as they’d slithered up on the shore. The boat had let them out at night and something was wrong with her sipper. He didn’t think it was an accident. She struggled so much that Judah nearly forgot his part. He let the boat idle too long. 

He opened her suit, she gasped and got out. When they met Ezra and Yoni to get their guns she was alive with rage. They ran down to the building where the cell was located. Bursting through doors. Judah appeared later signalling that Nikko was ready when they were. All they had to do was kill the cell members and get information. This was assassination and recon. 

She led them up the hall and they started shooting as soon as the door was kicked open. 

_Countless shots_

_The people at the tables playing card. The people in bed. The guy getting ice from down the hallway. The young adults around the television and radio. The blaring of screams. A young boy had a knife and stabbed Bellamy but it wasn’t lethal. Gisela smashed the butt of her gun into one of their faces. Judah was on her back whispering prayers for protection and strength._

_It was a bloodbath._

They got their things and made it to their checkpoint. She was nervous, “Nikko?!” Yoni nodded, ‘He went to the airport like he was supposed to.” 

“How was he supposed to get in!?” Yoni shrugged, “I don’t know! He’s Nikko!” 

Zev took a deep breath, “How are we going to do this?” 

Judah wiped the blood off of his face, “Simple. Do it. Now, shut the fuck up and let’s run.” He grabbed Gisela but she was already pushing off and towards the black void of the airfield. Zev kept alongside her, “Fucking Turkey. It’s always something in this fucking country!” A group of men appeared behind them and Gisela laughed, “They’re angry about Erdrogen taking their alcohol away!” Judah pushed her forward towards where the plane was now opening it’s back hatch. Nikko would have to open and take off at the same time. They had to run quickly. 

Yoni had the paperwork and everyone was getting on but something happened, something was dropped. Zev saw it and so did Gisela. He couldn’t even imagine her stopping and missing the already moving plane. He pushed her violently towards it and Judah grabbed her. Zev knelt down in the dark to find the papers or plastic, whatever it was. He was grazed by a bullet. He started running, hearing the landing gear picking up into the plane. Zev ran with all of might towards it. 

But the door was closing.

***

She pushed him against the wall, “Fuck you!” He had her cornered in the bar they went to often. It had been abandoned for renovations and they asked for permission to work on it and use it. The owner said yes and thanked them for their service. He pulled her closer, “Shut up and kiss me.” He kissed her and held her tightly to him, “I love you.” She looked at him without emotion, “You keep saying that like it’s going to make a difference.” 

He kissed her again but she didn’t move in his arms. 

She pulled back, “You nearly get left and think that’s something that’s earned you sex. You’re a fool.” 

She left and Zev finished his drink. *** 

Judah stalked around the bar in Egypt. It was like something inside of him was screaming. He wanted to go home, to see his baby. Gisela could sense it and had spoke to him often about it. She was just as angry and lustful as he was but Zev kept her occupied with their sadomasochistic relationship. She could hate fuck him often and well. It was only when he wasn’t roughing her up and proclaiming love that she couldn’t bear the sight of him. 

Judah was on his own. He wanted to go back home. He wanted his baby. He wanted her mother. He wanted Aviva. Aviva, Aviva, Aviva…. 

There she was. 

A pretty blonde and daughter of one of their terrorist targets was there. Why she was out and alone was beyond him. She was bottle blonde from what her eyebrows told him but she was still pretty. Not exactly like Aviva but enough to help him find some sort of peace.

Why did he want to kill someone that looked like Aviva? 

He didn’t understand. 

Why did he miss her? 

Why did he want to see her? 

If he did this, then he could get caught and then sent back. 

He could go home. 

But, he didn’t want to be caught. 

He wanted to work out his feelings on Aviva. 

He approached her and charmed her. He was likeable when he wanted to be. Good for him, she was craving danger. A foreigner with good looks and the promise of a one night stand. She was soft, supple, and not at all as strong as Aviva was. * 

By the end of it he was more sad than anything. 

She had been a disappointment. 

He’d just have to look for others till he was reunited with the real thing. **** 

They were in Africa walking through deserted camps from the Ebola outbreak and plague. Unfortunately, now another outbreak was happening but those with Ackermann and Bodt blood were immune. Bellamy had asked Alexi to stay behind and send some papers to Lilly. He was the only Bodt there but he didn’t know if he had the immunity or not. Nikko had tested something out on him to see. It was a portion of Marco’s blood and their own. 

“Gotta love being a guinea pig.” Bellamy had a sense of humor as they traversed the dangerous ground. Judah and Yoni had looked for mines using the mice that Ezra gave them. Gisela thought of everything. They’d tried to mark most of them but a few lives had been lost. Zev was tired and Gisela was, too. They’d been planning missions and running them all while answering to Aman and Mossad. It was tiring. If only they could just consult each other as it should be. 

Keita had become distant but even he was lobbying for her to get the time she needed and Zev to have responsibilities delegated. Damn, if she was going to think about Keita she’d never stop. He was an unsolvable yet extremely simple puzzle. 

Now they were walking through looking for reserves of or attempted vaccine and organic material all while looking for Jews to bring back to Israel. There was gunfire and Zev twitched. He lifted his gun and they all bunkered down. It was distant. Gisela lowered her weapon and looked to the side where Zev was. Something moved in one of the huts. He took a step in it’s direction and she saw it. 

A slight disturbance in the ground. 

“ZEV! NO!” 

She ran towards him as he stepped forward. She pulled him back and around to the side to toss him when the mine went off throwing them like ragdolls. Zev opened his eyes, unable to hear. Slowly it came back to him. She had saved his life. He turned to look at her and then he saw her clutching her side. She coughed up blood. A piece of metal had cut into her abdomen. Judah was on top of her trying to stop the bleeding but Zev nearly lost his mind. 

He picked her up. 

Ran with her all the way back to the checkpoint. 

No one could make him stop. 

She was strong, stronger than them but she was also more important that any of them. She was their Golda. She would lead them into a new era. He wouldn’t let her die.

He laid her down while she healed, still coughing up blood, “Stop! What have you done!?” He applied pressure to her wounds and she groaned in pain. Judah would be right on his heels, “Zev! STOP! I CAN DO IT MYSELF AND I HEAL!” 

Zev was angry, extremely angry. He threw the suture set on the table and slapped the bloody rags on the floor with a saturated thud, “I don’t give a shit! I don’t give a shit that you can heal! I don’t give a shit that you can take care of yourself! I AM GOING TO TAKE CARE OF YOU! I LOVE YOU! YOU DON’T GET TO TELL ME WHAT I CAN AND CAN’T DO! So stop this! Stop all of this! Stop pretending to hate me so much because there is no way that the Gisela who used to read with me every night hates me to her core. I could never hate you. Never!” 

He was crying, ‘I am tired of this. I am tired of this, Gigi. I love you. Please, right now, is there ever a chance you could love me again? I promise, I did it because it was the only way. I did it all because I wanted to do the right thing and because I thought it was the only way to keep you safe. I made bargains when your pictures showed up. I just….I love you. I’m miserable. I don’t mind the pain, the fighting, all of it just as long as at your core you love me. Because I will die loving you.” 

Judah entered the makeshift post, “GISELA! ZEV! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?” He was distraught over her and moved Zev to the side with glares and shoves. The rest returned and they decided to have a smaller party go out the next day. Zev was protective of Gisela then entire night. Something was on the metal and it caused her to have some sort of feverous infection. “I think…” Judah covered her mouth, “Shush! NO ONE IS ASKING!” She smirked but she shook from fever, “I think that the disease isn’t airborne but that they were somehow injected or cut like me.” 

“You think this infection is the disease?” 

She nodded, “Why else would I have this reaction? My body is seriously fighting.” 

He called Nikko over who was intrigued but concerned, “If it’s making you sick then it’ll make us sick. This is bad.” She coughed, “I know, it’s shitty.” Nikko stroked her face, “I’m going to make it better.” Gisela smiled, “I know. You’re the best big brother.” Ezra walked over, “Hurtful.” Zev moved suddenly, “They’re here.” The buzz in their stomachs grew and he pulled his gun from the back of his pants. They’d all undressed for the heat. 

Yoni was ready and Judah had his gun out and dagger, “Let me go out with you.” Judah and Zev went out to fight. They ran across the yard as bullets whizzed by. Judah threw his dagger into an unseen assailant's neck. Zev shot one from the tree. Yoni flanked them and Gisela started to have a stroke inside of the building. It was a horrible 48 hours. *** 

“She’s in Israel.” Gisela’s breathing was labored, “She’s who we need to talk to.” Zev held her in his arms as she struggled, fever high and not breaking. Nikko took more samples, “Gigi, I never wanted my baby sister to be a test subject.” Judah cried silently. Then, he went missing. They knew what for. Zev turned to Yoni, “Don’t. I know what you’re thinking.” Yoni turned around and then looked at Tuvia. Tuvia had just gotten there to help them finish off their attackers. 

Tuvia shifted, “If she’s not able to keep him in line then you have to.” 

Zev looked down at her, “I won’t leave her.” Ezra looked at Bellamy who looked at Yoni and so and so forth. Soon, Tuvia cleared his throat, “Are you sure you’re who she’d want holding her?” That hurt him more than words could ever describe. It had been nearly seven months since the wedding and she’d hated him and cursed him daily. But, he hoped after what he’d said that she’d come around. 

She stirred, “Go find Judah. Stupid man….” He sighed and she opened her eyes a bit. Her hand came up to touch his face, “Don’t look so fucking sad.” He kissed her and she didn’t pull away, “Judah!” She hit him with all her strength but it wasn’t much. He left looking for Judah and Nikko crouched down beside her. 

“Has he suffered enough?” 

“Leave me alone.” 

“He sure has in my opinion. He loves you so unconditionally and completely. You love him. You have always loved him. Don’t torture yourself and him.” 

She moaned, “I am dying and you're fucking with me.” 

“I am merely seizing the opportunity to state that for someone who hates him so badly you sure do seek him out often and fuck him loudly.” 

“Nehemiah!” 

“He was trapped, G. He really did think that anything he did could have put you at risk.” 

“Shut up.” 

“He loves you.” 

“He has made that clear and doesn’t need you to parrot him.” ***** 

Zev noticed exactly what the woman looked like before Gisela covered her with a plastic tarp. She was still recovering from her sickness but Judah went missing for three days. They needed to get him and leave. He was lost in himself. Zev knew he missed his daughter. “I'll cover for him.” Gisela turned around, “I'll do it this time.” Ezra shook his head, “No, it should be me.” 

Nikko watched Yoni to see if he put anything together. Tuvia sighed and helped Gisela. Zev walked over to Judah. They spoke for a while… 

“You think I haven't thought about doing the same…?” * 

Gisela called in the plane tickets and then texted Aviva. Zev stood behind her looking around at their trailer. Judah’s shirt was on her bed, “I sleep in it when he's not around.” Zev looked at her as she spoke about nothing and everything. 

“Do you love me, Gisela?” She stopped what she was doing, “Would someone who didn't love you be here?” Zev started to cry, “I regret not saying anything in Austria all the time.’ She was so tired, “ I am so tired, Zev. I am so tired.” ******** 

Zev’s lips rest on her shoulder, “After Chaim was taken in, what happened to his organization?” She was just waking up from another nap. She really was still sick. He held her tighter, “It was eradicated to my knowledge. The Wall took them out.” Gisela inhaled, “And The Wall wants you to work for it?” He hummed, “Seems so.” She thought about things, “I’m afraid that something is coming, Zev.” He was too, “What do you think it’ll be, Kaetzchen?: 

She sighed, “A remnant of that group paired up with someone stronger.” *** 

They were outside now, surrounded. People were standing, their eyes glazed over and mouths in twisted smiles, “Titans.” Alexi sounded unimpressed. Nikko’s blood stained face and sadistic smirk on display, “I wouldn’t call them that. I’d say these were more midget titans.” Alexi laughed and Gisela stood up, the ground in her hand slowly falling through her fingers, “We funnel them into somewhere we can corral them. They’re not going to live long enough for us to find a cure.” She’d sent Judah home; her heart ached. 

“How we gunna do that, G?” Tuvia was leaving soon for his own mission and the group of soldiers training under them looked like they might piss themselves when it came to fighting these people. “You know,” Hanji appeared and Nikko turned around. All of them did, “When the fuck did you get here!?” Tuvia was clearly shocked. Hanji blinked, “I’m just stopping in to get some samples from Nikko. Mila is at the base visiting and Judah is now home and being ridiculous. I have maybe another forty hours till my plane leaves.” 

She smiled looking at them, “Like I was saying, they’re more like Zombies.” They all frowned, “This isn’t Z Nation, Hanji. Zombies bite and infect. They can infect without biting. They rip people apart and eat their insides.” Oskar appeared holding some canisters, “So, Zombies, yes?” Zev started to cackle, “Oh, man! I was gunna call them MTs or Mini Titans but I think ZTs are waaaaaay better!” He laughed louder and took Gisela in his arms but she wasn’t amused, “MTs are better.” He stopped laughing, “Then MTs it is.” 

She looked at the canisters, “What’s in those?” 

“Gasoline for the jeeps.” 

She smiled and kissed Zev, “I have a plan!” 

Yoni whistled while the others made traditional persian whistling calls. She grabbed the gas cans, “Ezra, do you follow?” He smiled and grabbed one, “Where are we trapping them?” She nicked her head to a cattle pen, “Just like home.” Bellamy took a picture, “Gotta send this to papa.” Nikko slapped the phone down, ‘Pictures are against the rules!” Bellamy pouted, “Says the killing machine!” 

Gisela made a path with gas into the pin while keeping an eye at the learning MTs. She was afraid but mostly uncomfortable. The buzzing in her stomach bleed into her marrow and bones. She hated it. Israel was free of this disease and she wanted to get back but they had to train these soldiers who were currently taking notes and freaking out. At least they were using Nikko’s note pads. He’d made up a lot of little help kits. He was such a good person till he snapped and started killing. They were such a fucked up family. 

She lit the fire and Zev was there, “Gisela, what if we ran away?” 

She turned to him, “You’re so weird.” 

He looked serious, “Just think about it.” 

She stared, “Zev?” 

“Gisela!?” 

He was gone, vanished, now through the smoke about thirty feet away he appeared and she didn’t understand what had just happened, “Gisela, the smoke is thick! Get out of the way of it!” He picked her up, “Did you just talk to me?” He laughed, “I just told you to get out of the fire.” 

“No, before that!” 

“No! I’ve been talking to Hanji while you and Ezra did this!” 

She looked through the smoke and saw the MTs enter the pen. They would have the soldiers shoot them all at the base of the neck and samples would be taken probably from Hanji, “And how will we notify next of kin?” She looked at them, “Take papers and identifying objects off of them to be cataloged. This is a sad thing we do but we can’t risk healthy people. Bites might actually infect us we’ve just never have anyone survive a substantial attack and we’ve learned that this is some sort of transmittable disease like Ebola so touching them will only put us more at risk. All objects will be handled with hazmat suits.” 

The soldiers looked on at her as she came by. She’d saved many of them with quick thinking and aversion techniques. She’d also killed some of them out of mercy when infected. Ori found them at their makeshift camp, “Is Judah okay?” Gisela nodded, “At home with his baby. I’d say he’s doing better.” He smiled, ‘He’s a good guy.” He walked off and Nikko looked around, “Judah made a non blood related friend.” She laughed, “He has.” 

Mail was delivered and the postman brought her an envelope. She opened it and read it carefully. 

_We’re united now. I’m going to eat your heart out.”_

She noted the thin white powder and looked around in horror, “DON’T OPEN YOUR LETTERS!” She ran around taking them from everyone to their dismay. She told Hanji what she suspected and after an hour she confirmed it, ‘Anthrax.” Nikko shook his head, “No, this has something else lurking in it.” Zev looked over, “What did the letter say?” She handed it to him, “We’ve got to stop playing army and start focusing on the a solution to war.” Ezra thought about it, “Can’t run with the big dogs if you’re chained on the porch.” 

They’d head back to the labs in Israel. It was the only way they could regroup.

****

Zev pulled her into the pool with him, “Come on, Kaetzchen, it’s Yom Kippur.” She smiled despite herself, “That means we don’t eat or have sex or bathe. Swimming is just a gateway to all of that.” He smiled against her, “I love you.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and looked at the water, “I love you, too.” A man entered, “Miss Ackermann? I’m sorry to interrupt but I thought you should know the troops have implemented your training regiment now with the addition to Mr. Smith and Mr. Lavie.” She smiled, “Good, we need all the help we can get.” He saluted and left. But, as soon as he got to the door he turned around, “Oh, there was another letter.” 

She frowned, “Leave it on the table.” *** 

She liked sleeping with him like this. They would still fight but it was hot and less hateful than before. He would dominate her, put her in her place, and she loved it. His gruff German in her ear, hips thrusting into her, their skin slapping; he was a god and she loved him like this, “Kaetzchen, you’re so tight it’s sinful.” He licked up her cheek and she moaned weakly, legs shaking. He pushed her into the mattress, “I’m going to fuck you into submission, Kitten.” 

He came inside of her while she screamed into the sheets beneath her. 

She loved him and she was trying her best to forget and forgive. *** 

Zev sat down at the table with her while Keita brought in tea, “Okay, so they’ve finally decided to let us have our own unit as long as Gisela completes her missions and you do, too.” Zev noted the blonde woman who walked in after Keita. He sensed she was attached to Keita, “I never asked what you do?” She looked at Zev and smiled, “Keita didn’t tell you?” 

Keita frowned, “Stop.” 

“I’m his bodyguard.” 

Zev nodded and Keita sulked, “I’m assuming you think you don’t need one and definitely not a female. I think that’s just sexist. You make me sick, Keita.” Gisela stared at her, interested, “I remember you. Keita took you out of my squad.” She frowned, ‘I know, how ridiculous.” Gisela looked at him and smiled, “I don’t know. I think he didn’t want us to become best friends.” She laughed, “We can still become best friends.” 

“Oh, yes we can. Like, right after this meeting.” She smiled and Keita laid his head on the table, “Oh no, are we going to the bars or?” Zev slapped the table, “We’re going to do all of it.” ***** 

The airport was crowded and Nikko was pouting, “You look good as a bottle blond.” She smiled leaning on his back. Nikko rolled his eyes, “Shut up. Raven!” Her wig was black with bangs, “Do I look like aunt Mikasa?” Keita looked over, “No, like Kuschel but with Carla’s eyes….at least….from the pictures we’ve now seen.” They were going to Argentina because of the letters. 

Gisela finally had a name, “New Palestinian Liberation Organization.” Zev had groaned, “Noooooooooooooo.” She sat on her desk and Zev looked over, “Can you wear some of your fancy clothes and let me take you out to dinner?” She looked up from the letter, “Who runs this?” Zev sat up, “I have no idea, my kitten.” She looked back down, “Is there something wrong with the way I dress, Zev?” He chuckled, “Oh, I know that tone. No, my sweetness, there isn’t. But, you have to admit that your time with that piece of shit Reiss made you a little less like yourself.”

She cocked her head to the side, “I’ll cut your balls off.” 

He smirked, “I’d be fine with that, kitten. But, how would I fill you up so nicely like you like?” She stared, “You better take me somewhere nice.” She went to her closet and he became excited. * 

He pressed her against the wall, his lips against her cheek parted. His breath was ragged, “Fuck, you’re so fine.” He wasn’t touching her anywhere. It was the nature of their play. She had to give him the okay. They were in the hallway of a bar and she looked so good it was driving him insane, “I want to fuck you. I want to fuck you right now, here, against this wall. Tell me how tight you are, kitten. Tell me how hot and wet you are. I want you dripping in your panties, kitten. Mmm fuck, I’m your daddy. Aren’t I, kitten?” 

[She](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/3b/35/f2/3b35f290e9cb8ea2db8d671e2e416e45.jpg) looked at him, eyes innocent, “Yeah, you’re my daddy. But, I’m not sure that you really want me.” He moved closer, put his hands on either side of her. She had her body turned, looking foward, while he was at her side with lips and nose grazing her cheek, neck, jaw, and ear, “I want you so bad my cock aches. It’s throbbing right now. I could come just at the thought of how sweet your pussy tastes. I want to eat you out. I want to taste that tight pink pussy.” 

She smirked, “I’m not sure you’re serious.” 

He groaned, “Kitten, please.” He kissed her cheek and she slapped him, “You gotta earn this pussy.” 

They danced, ate, moved through the city stopping along the way for him to writhe and ask for permission. He got off on her being withholding to him. He ached for her and wasn’t used to coming after all the months of hate sex where she left him high and not so dry. He wanted her tied to the bed squirming as his fingers teased her.

When they got inside of the hotel he picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder, “Now we do things my way, kitten.” He rode the sabbath elevator to their floor and opened the door. Inside, he tossed her on the bed. She looked beautiful but he wanted her naked and moaning as soon as possible. Her clothes were removed in quick pulls. She kissed him and scratched him. He tied her down teasing her with his fingers till she shivered. He watched her back arch and slap back down on the bed. 

He fingered her till she came so hard she squirted. He flipped her over, spanking her delightfully as she came down from her high. His fingers were slicked from her already and he slid one inside of her other hole. The moans she made made his cock twitch. Knowing she liked anal play made a world of possibilities open up. 

She writhed with her wrists tied and now overlapping. He laid her down, her bottom pink and blue and he left kissed and bite marks all over them as she panted and moved enticingly. When he pulled her hips back watching his cock slide into her tight pussy while he fingered her ass he closed his eyes and sighed at the perfection that was Gisela Yael. He barely could hold himself back from coming right then as she moaned high pitched and satisfied. 

When they finished she stayed on her stomach, feet moving under the sheets to touch him, “I like sleeping with at least one part of my body touching you. That’s what lets me know you’re still there.” He kissed her hand, “I love you. I’ll never leave you again.” 

She hoped not. 

Now, there were heading to Argentina to kill one of the high ranking officials in the NPLO. “So, the plan is-” Keita rolled his eyes at Yoni, “We know the plan now go get the fuck on your plane and don’t ruin it for everyone.” Yoni laughed, “I’m here without my wife! You should be nicer to me!” Keita was sour, “MY SISTER!” 

“AND I MISS HER!” 

“Listen, I know you do and we all miss someone so shut up.” 

Ezra leaned on Keita, “Who do you miss, traitor?” Ezra still wasn’t a fan after the critique of Nikko’s eating habits. Keita didn’t answer and Gisela didn’t let them tease him further. Keita wasn’t meant for her this lifetime but maybe a next one. No one ever really knows and apparently multiple lives could be in their future. He still had put her life in danger and actively hurt and endangered Zev. If he wasn’t who he was she’d kill him in a basement slowly. 

“We find Jahar and his men. We get the banking codes.” She muttered as they split up for their flights. NPLO was now using the funds from the Satmar while being backed by the Reiss family. Who was in charge was still up for debate. However, they were finding those ranking high up thanks to old cases such as The White Sheik being connected. The Wall also gave them intel. Gisela didn’t mention it. That was between her and Zev.

Once in Argentina they split up and proceeded with their alias alternate lives. They had to blend, make patterns. If that meant having coffee everyday at the same place for two weeks then so be it. This would be the last mission before they could take time off and go home. She had to make sure it went perfectly. Yoni and was surprised to see Bianca, “Bianca...you’re…” then Hannalore, “Sweetheart!” He embraced his wife, “More women were needed if tourist couples were ever going to work.” She kissed him, “I’m only here for the week.” 

He frowned but it was better than nothing, “When you leave then?” She shrugged, “I think you’re staying for “business.” Either way, I’ve got to look happy but devastated.” They all carried on but there was a silence from Tuvia that concerned them. Gisela kept the morale up, “When he’s finished he’ll contact us.” 

They now were at a Biergarten when Jahar appeared. He saw Gisela immediately and sat down with her at the open seat. The others were speaking, paired up. She was alone and he took the honey pot bait. They laughed and spoke. He wanted to take her home but she got him drunk and instead called him a cab and give him her number. She stood back watching him disappear. 

He woke up the next morning, went to work, and came back home to eat dinner with his pretend wife and pretend children. Jahar was on his own time when he’d met Gisela and right now he was growing tired of his alis double life. He wanted a little more excitement, a little more meaning. He wanted to spice things up a bit. Zev would make sure of that. 

However, Zev fell ill a few days in with a fever and food poisoning, “Gisela, I can’t let you see me like this.” She had him in the bathtub and placed a cool cloth on his head, “Zev, I don’t care how much shit and vomit you’re covered in. You’re my Woelfchen.” She eventually had him empty and wrapped up in the bed. He whined, “Make me soup?” She deadpanned, “You might just have manflu.” He pouted, “You make the best soups.” 

She rolled her eyes and made some soup before calling Bianca over to watch him and take care of him. She walked out of the apartment and made sure to grab her bag. *** 

Jahar came home tired from a long day’s work. He entered his house, put his keys in the dish near the door. He was thinking of calling Gisela, he called her Lilith, and perhaps convincing her to come over while his wife and children were in the country on a school field trip. He could use a good night with a pretty girl. He walked down the foyer hallway to the opening of his livingroom untying his tie and sighing from exhaustion. 

On the other side of the wall stood Keita, Yoni, Nikko, Bellamy, and Alexi in their underwear and ready. 

They sprung forward when he appeared, pistols in their hands and ready. They couldn’t shoot him or someone would hear. That was the first problem in a long series. Because Gisela was watching out, Keita was now in charge and Zev had only given him half of the plan. He had realized that they only had guns, they couldn't bludgeon someone to death without blood getting on their clothes. They can’t bring anything extra without looking suspicious. They need to leave after killing him. They had needed to leave the country soon after as well. 

So, here they were bludgeoning a man to death who was having none of it. 

Jahar pulled a knife and stabbed Keita. He slammed him to the floor and Keita clutched his side. Ezra rushed him, twisting his arm around to punch him with the gun in the face. Nikko stabbed him with his dagger but Jahar kicked him away and threw Ezra over him and onto the floor on his back. 

Keita huffed pushing off the floor, “This is going great.” 

Yoni tried his hand brandishing a broom handle. He rushed him and managed to knock him down. Jahar grabbed another knife and stabbed Ezra who was next to him, “FUCK!” Keita rushed on top of him and Nikko was over them with a metal candle stick. With them all on him they managed to kill him but it took a much longer time than they ever accounted for threatening the timeline. 

They went into the backyard under what was left of the darkness ad washed with the hose. Keita thought about Gisela in the car and wondered what she was doing. He didn’t have to wait long. She appeared, face red, teeth clenched, “You will never run another mission. We will PULL them.” Her voice was low and hostile. Keita cringed, “Gisela, it won't happen again.” She looked at him, “No, it really wont. Every time I put you in the field you make mistakes or you choose to do ridiculous things. Why bludgeon him? Why not POISON him or just SHOOT HIM THROUGH A PILLOW? OOOOORRR FUCKING STRANGLE HIM!?” 

She walked off and got the truck. Keita was so ashamed. 

Nikko walked around the house for recon while Yoni looked for the paperwork. When they found it and cleaned the home they met back at their hotels and then boarded their respective flights. Bianca had taken Zev with her on Yoni’s ticket. Gisela rode on the plan back with Nikko looking over the documents, “He was one of Jeeter’s brothers.” 

Nikko looked at her, “And what is the common thread? The Sheik, the King of Spades, the Red Persian, and all the others we’ve been going after...are they all brothers?” She leaned her head against the window, “Yes.” Nikko sighed, “Not the same mother.” She looked at him, “No.” He moved the hair from her face, “Flirty Fishing.” She nodded, “All of them are the product of Uri Reiss and women throughout his entire life. That means there are a lot of them and they’re having children and…” 

Nikko held her hand, “And that’s a problem.” ***** 

Zev was feeling better and they were leading one last patrol around East Jerusalem. [Gisela](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/1c/d0/99/1cd099ad90081c474473cdf648f9e807.jpg) appeared, whistling, “Ata ham! (You’re hot)” She was dressed for an evening out, “We’ve been invited to dinner so hurry up.” He smiled and the soldiers looked on at them in envy and happiness. Captain Ackermann and Commander Smith were a favorite couple among them and their story was captivating in all barrack room gossip circles. 

“Where are we going, Kaetzchen?” 

“The celebration dinner?” 

“OHHH! THAT’S TONIGHT?!” 

“Yes, so come on. Ori will cover.” 

Zev rushed to her side and they went off to the party. 

It didn’t turn out like they thought. * 

_“Well, the truth is that….it lives in us like a recessive gene. I don’t know how anyone would stop it unless you just...unless someone just….killed everyone.”_

******

Gisela spun around in the chair with Gaia laughing excitedly. Aviva smiled, “My brother and you…” Gisela lowered Gaia, “You can stop.” Aviva smiled more, “He loves you and you love him. Please get married and have kids.” Gisela looked at Gaia, “I can’t have a baby right now. I need to fight.” Aviva nodded, “I love you, my strong princess warrior.” She kissed Gaia, “It’s hard to see him with Gaia, though.” 

Gisela looked at Aviva, “Are you trying to have another baby, V?” Aviva looked up, “I….I want another one.” Gisela pressed her lips to Gaia’s head, “With my brother?” Aviva inhaled, “Yeah.” She smiled smugly, “I always wanted you to fall in love with Judah.” Aviva blushed, “I don’t love him.” She mumbled and returned to her shoes, “He loves you.” 

She whispered it and Gaia laughed sweetly. 

Gisela wanted them happy and healthy. **** 

Zev and Gisela had been back for two weeks and it was strange. She wrapped herself around him at night while he shook from nightmares. He remembered how she’d pulled a cadet out of a pit full of razor wire. He thought of how just the mere thought of her praise had soldiers laying their lives down even in practice drills. He thought of how his selfishness has actually been perfect. Gisela was perfect for him. 

They decided to go to the school and research in the library. She sat between his legs leaned back on his chest reading while his arms encircled her while he read himself. She had decided to write up an official squad mission and department. Keita was looking at the logistics for support from Aman and Judah, surprisingly, was working with Yoni on the accounting end. 

Hannahlore wanted Yoni to remain in Maria. She was expecting and on bedrest early on. He was afraid. Their life was changing rapidly and Gisela offered to give him first leave. Zev wanted her to be the head and off the front lines, “I can fight.” He kissed her neck, “I know, but I don’t want you to.” ***** 

Levi came into her room while Judah was resting on the bed with her. He smoothed his hands over the covers of both his children, “Tell me honestly, how are you and Zev?” She looked at Judah who smiled, “I’d say they’re doing alright. All it took was him almost falling out of a plane and getting blown up by a mine for her to stop torturing him.” Levi looked at her, ‘How did you torture him?” 

“Verbal abuse and sex.” 

“Good girl. I would have done the same….I did do the same.” 

“Aba!” 

“Have you managed to sort out your feelings?” 

“When he got her pregnant he felt like he needed to save her and the baby. He was hoping to eventually have it annulled or garner a divorce.” 

Levi thought about it and his face lit up in knowing, “Yes, he could have married her, had the child, and simply said he wanted no more and gave her a get (divorce) and she’d be fine and the child not a mamzer.” 

“Yes, but then she found the picture of me. Apparently, she showed her brother and he kept a copy of it. This copy made it’s way around. But, Keita was using my as an alias and so had Zev. People became suspicious. I started to be noticed as I worked for them and the more Chaim worked to figure out who had given “Josef” the picture he began to find out who Zev really was. Then they found a rabbi that knew the name Ackermann. My picture, the Mossad, French Foreign Legion, my name, their name, all if came to a head and The Wall stepped in manipulated by Zev to destroy what they could. It’s actually really complicated and more convoluted. I just don’t have time to explain but….then he decided to let me be with Sebastian since I was happy.” 

Judah snorted, ‘I called him to ask him to trail him but he already was.” 

“He found out Sebastian was a Reiss and marrying me to simply get into our family to appease his own. He also found money funneled into Chaim’s organization.” 

Levi inhaled, “So, what made you forgive him ultimately?” 

She looked at him, “I believed that he never left me.” 

Levi looked at her, “What does that mean?” 

She sat up, “That his soul, it never left the side of mine. He may have physically not been there but in his heart I was always there.” 

Levi wiped some of the tears from his eyes, “I understand. I think...ultimately that’s what made me forgive Erwin. Because, no matter what, Erwin loves me and only has my interests in his heart.” She laid back down, “Wanna watch Netflix with us?” Levi smiled, “Yeah, baby.” He climbed in between his twins and kissed their heads.

****

Zev looked down at his hands, “Well, I guess you could say that I’ve nearly destroyed everything by not being a smart man. I was led into traps by those I loved. I was led astray by words that appealed to me. I have tried to keep my goals in the forefront. They were always very simple, “I wanted to protect my family, Maria, and Israel. I wanted to be with the girl I loved. I wanted to be happy. But, somewhere, someone I trusted told me that I would be a good Jew if I followed my heart. I thought that the girl I loved was forbidden to me and that if I tried to push her into a relationship I’d be hurting her and making her a bad Jew.” 

“I tried to get over it and with time and love I started to. It took being in a cell in the pitch black after so many hours of torture to realize that there was never anything keeping me from her except someone I believed to righteous’ world view. My homeland was full of distrust and lacked the means to pull me out. Why? Because who do they trust? Do they take their money and get me out because they’ve never been able to do that for other soldiers. Am I worth more than any other soldier? They had no idea how to tell that.” 

“So, I thought about Maria and how I wanted to get back there.” He was upset, “And when I finally was rescued I heard it was a ghetto and I had failed my hometown and my country. I was missing something, something like a compass. I had no guidance and I didn’t know who to trust. I had endangered people. I had tried to keep secrets of others, Nikko mostly. I had no idea that Keita was moving against me out of jealousy and need. I didn’t know how my wife had kept on with her snooping or how…..deep it all went.” 

“And then Gisela called me and the second I heard her voice I was humbled and destroyed. There she was. She was my compass, my guidance. IF I HAD, had, had just….stuck to her and never lied to her…..If I had brought her to Israel with me. If I had married her...before I ever accepted any missions like that then things would have been different. She was always my purpose, my better half, and delighted me with such a sense of wonder that I can’t believe I ever pushed her away like I did. I am a fool. I’m not a smart man at all.” 

“So, now, we work together and through my perseverance and her kindness I have earned a spot in her life I am thankful for. I love her. There is no question I love her so. Now we have plans in place. We take actions against those who seek to do us harm. We make tough choices. I may be king but she leads me just as the Ackermanns have always done. She keeps me grounded and on track. But, I am still just a man who like simple things. I rejoice when cotton and strawberries grow, I love the laughter of children, and I want to marry the woman I love. I want to marry Gisela and make my life as perfect as possible. I will be loyal to her, take care of her, treat her with respect, and listen to her. I will devote my life to her happiness and support her goals as if they are mine.” 

“After it’s all been said and done, when we’ve defeated our enemies and secured our family and countries….I want to be married to this woman that kept me alive my entire life. I want to read books with her and the eyes her father gave me. Hear with the ears her father gave me. I want to have children with her and give them a home like our parents gave us. I just want pure endless love.” 

Levi and Eren were quiet. Tears were in everyone’s eyes. They’d all been slowly grilling Zev about the details of it all and there were so many moving parts it was difficult. Marco had started writing it down, all it. He said it was just as important as the others. Zev looked at Levi, “Aba, can I marry your Gisela?” Levi looked at Erwin. He could say anything. Anything right now that he thought he could say it. She ultimately decided if she was going to marry him. Levi held Eren’s hand, “I love you, Zev. You can ask her.” 

Eren smiled and Zev looked at him, “Baba?” Eren nodded, “I just want you two to let the past stay there. We all have been through so much and have been hurt badly by others and by each other but that’s what we’ve done. We’ve moved on and left it where it is. When Armin….left us for The Wall we worried Erwin wouldn’t let it go but….” Erwin looked at Armin, “I think we all know that true love is all that matters. Also, love doesn’t really make any sense to anyone. Who are we to judge you? You and Gisela are the only two that have any say but we’d love to see you two married and happy.” 

Armin smiled with tears in his eyes, “And I want more grandbabies.” Zev flushed, “I don’t know about babies.” Armin’s eyes narrowed, “Children or no blessing. We are supposed to number more than the stars and that takes some effort!” They all laughed and cried. Zev showed them the ring and they all thought it was perfect. Armin turned to Eren, “Now, that’s the ring a man picks out for the women he loves.” Eren nodded, “Much better than even the one you picked for Sebastian to give to her.” 

Eventually Judah joined them and there day got better. ***** 

Judah sighed, “Baby girl, pack a bag we’re going somewhere.” Aviva and Gisela looked at each other, “What?” Gisela was dressing Gaia and then Zev burst through the dooway, “Kaetzchen, we’re going somewhere special, too! Please pack and be thankful you’re going to get to spend time with the coolest man in the world.” He laughed and took Judah into a bone crushing hug. 

The night before they had finalized their plans, “If we ask them….” Zev nodded, “We can’t ask them separately because then the other might start thinking or it could just ruin it all.” Judah blinked, “I want to ask separately, though.” Zev smiled, “Got something special planned.” Judah didn’t say anything but Zev sighed, “Me too. So we’re going to ask on the same day, take their phones away, and then meet back up and have them tell each other and BAM it’s amazing.” 

“They’ll probably want to be married together.” 

“That’s fine with me, Jude.” 

“You’re disgusting.” 

“You love me.” 

Judah looked at the rings, “When do we have to go back to fight?” 

Zev rested his head on Judah’s shoulder, “We’ll go back when we have to. I think the purpose now is to find a cure and then take it from there. Our parents are going to go into the field with us. I can feel it.” 

Judah leaned in closer, “I think we should move in together.” 

Zev started to chuckle, “What?” 

Judah got up and came back with blueprints, “I had a house drawn up. Six months tops. A lot of people need extra work from outside of the ghetto.” Zev looked the prints over, “I mean, Aviva and Gisela will want a say in the finishing touches but everything else looks splendid.” Judah looked at him, “I’ve already put the down payment down for the workers and they’re laying the foundation in a week. It’s a surprise.” 

“Where?” 

“On our land. Across from the house by the clinic. Aba was so excited but promised to keep it a secret till I told Aviva and Gisela. I want us all four together with Gaia. I want us together….I need it…” He was about to have another attack and Zev held him, “You’ve got an anxiety disorder, Judah. You can’t hide it. Gisela does, too. And what you’re really saying is that if we don’t come to this agreement that you’ll keep killing people who look like us.” 

Judah pulled away, “Stop.” 

Zev held tighter, “Gisela and I noticed. Calm down. I’ve no problem with the arrangement. I think you know I’m very agreeable and very….open to the family dynamic.” 

Judah felt ashamed and he also felt comforted that they were of the same opinion. 

Now, they were putting their plans into motion. 

Gisela stood up, “What should I pack?” 

Aviva took Gaia, “I need to pack for her but I don’t think right now is the best to take her out into all the germs and-” 

“Aba and Baba are watching Gaia.” 

“We keep leaving her!” 

“She is loved! It’s only for a day and a half!” 

Aviva stared, “I don’t want to leave her.” Judah and Aviva had been living in fear and attempted healing. Judah didn’t touch her sexually. He only held her and tried to make her feel safe. Aviva held onto him desperately. She sought comfort in him like no other. She was terrified something would happen to Gaia and even herself. “Aviva, don’t be afraid.” Gisela took her hand, “I love you, V. He’s right. Aba and Baba are bad ass fighters. She’ll be fine. Spoiled rotten, but fine.” Aviva kissed her daughter, “I guess Gaiaka could hang with them.” 

Zev took Gaia, “I want to spoil her.” 

Gisela packed along with Aviva and Zev played with Gaia and Judah. Levi and Eren and Erwin and Armin all watched as they formed their own little family right before their eyes. **** 

Zev picked Gisela up in his arms, “I don’t even want you to walk, my love!” She giggled. Being in Maria had made her calm down. She was on break. They had a plan. They had some time to be them again. “Zev, I’m not that big of a princess.” He kissed her, “No, you’re my kitten.” He put her in the seat in the private plane and then made a sweeping motion of the gifts and flowers, “I think we should go back to the arrangement where I worshiped you, showered you in gifts, and had hot loving sex with you.” She looked around. Some of the old self was stirring. 

“I think you should fuck me on the floor after we get safely in the air.” 

Zev smiled, “I’ll be sure to do just that.” * 

They were in the air for only thirty minutes but it was a delightful thirty. He had a kink that she liked to indulge for her own kinky reasons. He leaned over and whispered in her ear, “Tell me how it feels to have my hot come pooling into your panties.” She smirked, her face turned away from him, “Feels good, Wolfy.” He growled, biting her ear teasingly, “When we get to hotel to change, give me your panties.” She laughed, “How about I don’t?” 

He frowned, “That’s a crime, Miss.” He loved thinking about how she wouldn’t be a Miss for long. She winked, “Take me to jail, officer Smith.” They got to their room and he pulled at her shorts, “Kitten, change into something draw dropping and formal.” She turned around, “I don’t have anything formal formal?” He opened the bathroom door, “But, you do!” She looked inside and saw many dresses, ‘ZEV!” He kissed her, “I love you.” 

She kissed him back, “I love you more.” 

She picked a dress and couldn’t stop gushing over it, “You know me so well.” She took her panties off and threw them at him. He smelled them, “You know, I wish I could put your scent on everything. Wait….what that’s you’re putting on….” She had a lingerie [body](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/3b/3c/90/3b3c90a6944e6d154f18f2ffdbc69324.jpg) suit, “Well….the dress is nude so…” She smiled seductively and he flushed. He thought about it, “But, that will be seen….” She smiled, “We can have a little fun with it before then.” * 

They were nearly late to their limo but she didn’t care. She couldn’t keep her hands off of him. When they got to the restaurant she was smiling and holding his hand, “I wonder what Judah and Aviva are doing?” She picked her phone out of his pocket but he took it back, “Nope, no phones this trip.” She blinked, “What?” 

“Kitten, please. It’ll be worth it. I promise. Just, no phones. I have them so if anything happens like an emergency that’s fine but no phones.” 

She frowned, “Judah….” He laughed, “You can feel him. I think you’ll manage.” She buried her face in his tux jacket, “I love you.” Zev held her tighter. He beamed with pride, “I love you.” * 

They ate and then he brought her to the opera house, “Really?” He smiled, “The last time I was at an opera you were on stage.” She smiled, “Which one was it?” He grinned, “Zauberflöte.” It was a special opera that had tied them together in many ways over their lives. They walked inside and many knew her from reputation alone. She and Aviva were popular and beloved. Zev took her to their seats and they settled in waiting for the show to begin, “Can I tell you something important?” She turned to look at him with love in her eyes, “Yes.” 

“Judah wants us to live with him and Aviva and Gaia in one house.” 

She looked at him a bit shocked, “Really?” He nodded and she turned back to look at the crowd, “I’d love that. I really really love that idea. But, how do you feel about that? Would you want to live like Aba, Baba, Daddy, and Vait?” He smirked and she hit him, “Answer the question with words!” He chuckled, “Okay, you know I would. You know I love my sister dearly. You know I love Judah and think he’s adorable. Don’t think I don’t know you and Aviva still have a physical relationship.” She shrugged, “I haven’t slept with Aviva in a while.” 

“But, you want to.” 

“Judah has that covered.” 

“Regardless of the lies you try to convince me of, I’d love to live with them.” 

“Okay, good because I have always planned on living with my brother.” 

Zev smirked, “I do have a surprise that’s not on my phone.” She smiled, “What is it?” He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to her, “Because, I foresee us spending much more time here.” She opened the envelope, “Zev…..are you serious!?” He smiled, “I am.” He kissed her, “When this is over, everything is going to be so wonderful.” They heard the orchestra warm up and she was so happy she could barely breathe, “Zev this is so wonderful.” He kissed her hand, “This is how I want every day with you to be.” * 

The [opera](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/52/27/ac/5227ac6e89b8f2a669f6ce9b1998a255.jpg) house was gorgeous and the opera itself was so meaningful. She thought about how he’d first sang these songs after such a long journey. She’d always wanted him to be a singer with her and he’d seemed to choose to admire her rather than stand beside her. Maybe he saw how she competed with Aviva and he didn’t want to compete with her? That was fine. She loved him anyway. 

Now, they listened to the songs as he held her against him. He hummed along as did she. She leaned her head on his chest and a few fans snapped pictures. She didn’t think that was appropriate in the house and certainly not in the dark of the room while performers were on stage. Zev kissed the side of her face and when it was over a man came to stand by them, “Miss Ackermann, the crew would like to speak to you. We’re such fans. Please stay.” She smiled, “Of course.” 

The crowds left and soon it was just the company waiting in the wings. She was brought down to the floor with Zev following. She stood in the center of the stage and the crew waited behind the curtains, “Sing for us!” A woman appeared and others followed. She thought it was odd that they were staying so far away but she smiled despite it, “What would you want to hear?” The woman shrugged, “Anything, Miss Ackermann, would be amazing.” 

She began singing and they all gathered closer with bouquets of flowers. She turned around to look for Zev and she didn’t see him. She twirled a few more times and then she looked down. He was on his knee and smiled. In his hand was a box. She stopped singing. They placed the flowers in a semicircle around her and a photographer snapped pictures, “Gisela, I think you know what’s going on now.” She was frozen, tears in the corner of her eyes, “Yeah.” It was breathy and it made his heart flutter, “I want to ask you something important.” She nodded and he opened the box. 

“Gisela Yael Ackermann, will you please return to me the part of my soul you have had since the moment you were born and marry me? Will you make me the absolute happiest man in the world? Will you bestow your kindness and wisdom on me till the end of my days? You are the other half of me. Like the greeks believed, you were the person stuck to my back. You are my soul mate, my queen, my true love.” She nodded her head, covering her mouth as she choked back sobs. 

He pulled the beautiful clear diamond ring out of the [box](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/9f/f9/1f/9ff91f780059fc7b8f188ceb9ca17a63.jpg). The pink one had been taken by Judah. These rings were perfect for each of their future wives and they thought they suited them and reflected them as potential husbands well. Gisela pulled him up and into a kiss. The pictures would be stunning for their family. He kissed her passionately, dipping her backwards. 

This felt right. This was what she had missed and tried to force. She loved this man so much. “I love you, Zev. I love you and without you I am soulless. I am dead. Please, never leave me again. I will not survive.” He kissed her again, “I’m not going anywhere. Even in death I will find you.” He lavished her with private performances from the cast, they signed autographs, had engagement pictures taken throughout the house, and then they left to head back to the hotel. 

Gisela held his hand in the limo, her face full of sincere love when he looked over at her. She reached up to stroke his face sensually, “Did Judah know?” Zev smirked, “Yeah, of course he did.” She smiled, “He’s kept two things from me in his life. Gaia and now this. I need to beat some sense into him.” Zev chuckled, ‘Dominate him a bit?” She smiled, “He needs a healthy dose of fear.” 

Zev carried her into their room once they arrived leaving kissed all over her neck and face. He loved her so much it hurt. She was perfect. He put her down on her feet at the foot of the bed and took her dress off. She wrapped her arms around his neck while he took his pants off. She eventually helped him remove his jacket and shirt while he stripped her bear. She hopped into his arms and he carried them kissing each other ravenously until he laid her on the bed. 

She wrapped her legs around him and he moved perfectly against her. 

It was short, quiet, full of love. 

Only their deep breaths filling the space between them. 

They didn’t need words. 

Just hope. * 

Aviva put her bag in the car and kissed Gaia, “Bye my sweet princess!” Gaia giggled and waved, “I wish you’d cry that momma was leaving.” Levi rolled his eyes, “I’ll pinch her.” Eren slapped his hand, “No, you won’t!” Judah came over and Gaia squealed. He smiled and kissed her all over, “Momma and daddy will be back soon, baby girl.” He kissed her hand and she laughed. 

Aviva’s heart swelled and her anxiety rose. Judah was so sure but she wasn’t anymore. “Okay, let’s go.” Aviva was taken to the car and all but shoved in. He seemed to note her hesitancy and made a point of placing her inside and buckling her in. He drove them on a back road for most of the time because he wanted to throw her off. She seemed distracted, “Do you want to talk?” 

He looked over at her, “Do you?” She seemed shy, “I don’t know.” He blinked, “It sounds like you do.” She was nervous, “Are you mad we haven’t had sex since all of that happened?” Judah was actually offended, “I’m not a fucking animal, Aviva. What happened was serious. It wasn’t your fault and the last thing on my mind would be sex when you obviously need love and comfort more through actions and reassurances than physical touch.” She looked like she might cry, “Yeah but you’re a physical person and you need comfort.” 

He looked out at the road, “My needs are not as important as yours.” It was quiet and she almost didn’t believe he’d even said them, “What did you say?” He blushed, “I said I hate you and you’re being stupid. So, stop.” She looked at him blankly and then snapped out of it, “Yeah, shit, I thought you had a feeling. Should have known it was more likely I was having a stroke.” He closed his eyes and drove them on. “Oy, give me your phone.” She looked aghast, “NO!” He looked at her and then pulled over on the side of the road. 

“Give me your phone or I’ll spank you.” She looked at him defiantly, “Gaia!” 

“I’LL HAVE THE PHONES! THIS IS IMPORTANT TO ME! GIVE ME THE PHONE, YOU DEMONESS.” 

“What could be so important!?” 

“It.is.a.surprise.” 

She gave him her phone and he drove on till they reached the hotel. It was nestled deep in the woods and mountains. Aviva frowned, “I wanna take a picture and send it to Gisela.” He frowned, “Come on. Let’s hurry up. It’s getting dark.” He got their things and took her to the front, “You look nice.” She looked over quickly at him, “Thanks…” 

“But, you should change.” 

“Oh, um that’s not nice.” 

“I just meant that….it’s special.” 

They approached the front and the concierge smiled, “Is this your first time?’ Judah glared and the man realized just who this guest was, “Well, this hotel was built into the mountains. We have trails and caves! Some of our most popular rooms open up into caves so you can look out into them! Your name?” He asked out of protocol but Judah had rented the entire hotel out with the help of Zev. “Ackermann.” He looked shyly at Aviva who didn’t notice. 

He was excited his sister was currently with Zev and hopefully enjoying herself but now he was worried that everything he’d done on his end for Aviva wouldn’t be good enough. He was really upset and wanted to make sure that everyone had done their part. “Oh no, you’re room is still being prepared but you can change and wait in this room till it’s finished.” 

“Wait, why?” 

“Oh ma’am, you’ll be having a,” he leaned forward, “romantic dinner inside.” Judah looked like he was going to smother that man. “I’ll shoot you.” The man blanched and held his hands up, “Well, the lady wasn’t going to do something without a good reason.” Aviva smiled, “He’s right.” They went into the side room and she entered the bathroom to get ready. 

Judah entered, “I have to shit.” She turned to him, “The toilet is in that little room.” He moved past her and opened the door, “Don’t take too long. I might need to pee.” 

“Pee in the shower.” 

“You’re such a fucking asshole!” 

“Shut up.” 

He shut the door and blushed thinking about how cute her nose was. He sighed at how ridiculous he was. _She’s really pretty. She’s the mother of my child. She’s strong and ridiculously talented._ He remembered her phone and pulled it out to go through it. 

She had emails from students. Her texts were almost completely to other members of the family. She had calendar dates for her checkups and then he noticed one that was about taking the IUD out. _She wants another baby._ He thought about being there for her as she was pregnant. He could witness everything he'd missed. He opened her photos. 

She had racey ones he'd never received. He tried to squash his jealousy that she might have sent them to others but maybe she'd taken then for him and then the incident happened. He went through them and then found pictures of him, of Gaia, and of them both. He stopped on one of him asleep that she'd put a heart around his face. His chest hurt. 

There was a knock on the door. 

“Judah! I need to use the bathroom.” He opened the door while still on the toilet, ‘You’ll just have to wait.” She sneered, “I should have never come!” She stomped her foot and he rolled his eyes, “Don’t break your little foot, baby girl.” She slammed the door closed, “I’LL USE THE LOBBY.” He laughed, “You gunna pee on the rug?” She screamed. 

When she came back he looked at her in all of her beauty, “[You](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/bf/f0/d4/bff0d4aed37dc923ec6070a4f3bc88fc.jpg) look hot.” She blinked, “Don’t think you can butter me up. You should have let me use the bathroom.” He pulled a box out of his bag, “Here, you can wear this around your neck instead of my fingers.” She opened the box and gasped, “This is insane.” His chest rumbled with some sort of sound she’d never heard him make before, “Will you put the [necklace](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/d5/13/55/d5135552cf997676c7e57c467d69acf7.jpg) on me?” Judah moved behind her and put it on her. 

She noted how kindly he did it. “What are you wearing, Judah?” Judah nicked his head to the bed, “I’ll get it out.” He went to change and when she saw him she squealed, “JUDAH! I LOVE IT! OH MY GOD!” She ran towards [him](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e6/a8/e0/e6a8e00aac31e1a2f6fe6a3d9d278611.jpg) jumping into his arms to wrap her legs around his hips. She kissed him and he kissed her back, their lips moving harshly against each other, hungrily, “Let’s go.” 

He took her hand and lead her down the hallway, “Our stuff?” He pulled her to his side, “We’ll have it sent up.” She leaned into him and he took her down the hallway to the dining hall. She looked around, “Are there no other guests?” He nodded his head, his anxiety rising. She noticed and tried to protest, “Judah, where are we going? Why are you so nervous?” He scoffed, “I’m not nervous. I’m hungry.” He opened the door to the dining hall and steered her to the private room reserved for special occasions. He had planned this over and over in his head and hoped she liked it. 

The room had large red curtains on one wall and the room was nothing but heavy art deco black mahogany and gold. There were roses, bouquets of them, all around the room. Petals were all over the floor with candles, black diamond accents, and heavy satin linens. The candle light was perfect. She looked around and said nothing. He was worried. 

His anxiety was bad right now and he worried he’d have an attack. 

Zev had said that silence was to be expected. 

She turned to him and smiled, “Wow…..this is amazing.” 

The chef plated the food and then the concierge stepped forward, “Ma’am, this room was chosen for a special purpose. Before your meal, would you like to see?” She nodded, “What else could be special about this room? It’s beautiful.” Judah tried to keep his breathing in check, “Come on, let’s look.” She turned slightly to look at him, “Is it going to be something terrifying?” Judah shook his head, “No, hopefully you’ll really like it.” 

She smiled facing the curtains and then they were pulled back. All of the lights in the room other than the candles were shut off and it was pitch black for a second till their eyes adjusted. It was a long atrium like glass sunroom that one could walk out into. It was made of decorative art nouveau metal work with glass between them to see out into the cave it was in. A light was turned on and inside of the cave were a million reflective green eyes and flapping wings. 

Aviva’s breath hitched and then she gasped. All of the bats flew in and out of the lit cave and she watched mesmerized. The chef left, the concierge left, and the door closed. They thought the angry gangster had done well. They hoped she said yes. 

Aviva watched them all and smiled brightly, “The little babies! Oh my God!” She was thrilled. Completely thrilled and so excited. This was amazing and perfect, “Judah! You did this?!” She turned around and he was staring at her, shyly folding in on himself. He was choking on fear. He was vulnerable and it hurt him to be like that. He swallowed and she stared in shock and awe at how he was acting. He looked like he might cry. 

Judah Ackermann looked like he might actually cry. 

He was shaking. 

“Judah?” 

He swallowed again. His voice was suddenly missing and his throat dry. When he found the words they were not at all the ones he’d rehearsed. They were sincere, pleading, impassioned, quiet, soft, reserved, like feathers touching the back of a hand. They ran together, “I love you. Please marry me.” He opened the box, still shaking. Eyes downcast. 

She was frozen in time. 

He held the box in his hands and then turned it around showing off the [pink diamond](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/9f/f9/1f/9ff91f780059fc7b8f188ceb9ca17a63.jpg), “It’s pink…..there are bats…..” He mumbled the words and she thought he was absolutely the cutest thing in the world. She had previously thought Gaia was and maybe she still wanted to think that but not really. Judah Ackermann planning an engagement with a pink diamond and using bats as an argument for a girl to say yes to him was adorable and she loved it. 

But, he had said…. 

“You love me?” Her voice shook a bit from feared misunderstanding. 

He looked up and met her gaze, “I love you.” 

She couldn’t speak. Judah Ackermann loved her. 

He looked like he might throw up. She asked again, “You really love me?” 

He nodded his head yes. 

She approached him slowly. He was like a caged animal who’d been beaten and abused. Her hands covered his around the box, “You really want to marry me?” Her voice was low, cautious, coxing. He trembled, “Yes.” She knew he meant it and it touched her, “I love you and I want to marry you, Judah.” A tear escaped. It rolled down his cheek but she wiped it. He kissed her, lips soft against her’s and warm, full of love. 

She pulled back, “Let’s eat.” 

He kissed her again, “Do you like the ring?” 

“The ring is perfect. The room is perfect. The bats are bad ass and perfect. You are perfect. Thank you.” She kissed him sweetly and he felt immediately better. They sat down, she put the ring on, and they began eating in comfortable silence. He moved his chair by her and she took his hand to hold it. He looked at her throughout the meal. 

She reached over and kissed him before they got up to leave, “I love those little batties.” He smiled and she felt her heart flutter, “They’re pretty cool.” He walked her back to their real room and put her in front of him, “You go first.” She smiled and pushed the door open, “Judah.” She said it in a way that let him know she really hadn’t expected anything more. She followed the trail of [flowers](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ac/de/2b/acde2bb8dfac326b36b636d4d80f2a3c.jpg) to the gifts and then saw the bed and rest of the [room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/0e/cf/5d/0ecf5da5f737da0b96f760cf81fddea8.jpg). She was walked around and saw the [bathtub](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/fe/e9/94/fee994856f487cfe8c3b69d2b2ca841f.jpg) full of flowers. 

She spied the love [bats](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/6a/f0/55/6af055857e049c278ab97399e7b7cc1b.jpg) on the couch and squealed, “I LOVE THESE!” He smirked. Zev had snuck those into his bag apparently. He was a nice guy. Aviva turned to him, “Do you really love me?” He nodded his head, “I really love you.” She embraced him, nuzzling her face into his chest, “Good, because I really, really love you.” 

He kissed her slowly. For once, he wanted to take his time. * 

She laid her head on his chest in the bed while he played with her hair, “Here.” He handed her a piece of paper folded over, “It's what I was supposed to say.” She kissed his chest, “It's fine. I think what you said was perfect.” He laid it on the table, “Well, it's there if you want it.” He pulled her closer, “I'm building us a house.” She looked up at him, “What?” He nodded, “I've already got them working on the foundation. We're going to have a house in six months.” 

“Houses take a long time.” 

“Not when the workers know who they are dealing with. I'll shoot the ones that don't move quick enough.” 

“Judah!” 

“There is a ballet studio and singing room. Music hall, actually. Gisela and Zev will live with us.” She smiled and looked at her ring in the low light, “Damn….this looks good.” He smirked, “Baby girl get’s what she deserves.” Aviva smiled brightly, “I could look at this ring forever.” Judah sighed, “I could look at you forever.” Aviva blushed and became so shy it hurt, “Oh...oh...Judah.” She grabbed his face and kissed him, “Judah, I love you.” 

“I love…” She smiled, “Me?!” He chuckled darkly and slapped his hands on each ass cheek and grabbed, “this ass.” She frowned, “Asshole!” **** 

Gisela woke up and kissed Zev. She held her hand up, “Look at dis!” He chuckled, “I see it. Your hand never looked so good.” She smiled and kissed him again, “I’m going to suck you off.” He chuckled more, “OH! THANK YOU, KITTEN!” She giggled and they began their day. * 

Gisela held his hand as they rode to the airport. She smiled, gazed at him, “That was so perfect.” He was blushing, “I am glad you say that. I was worried.” She kissed him, “I can’t wait to tell Aviva.” He chuckled, “Me too, kaetzschen.” * 

When they arrived at the airport and started to head home Zev called Judah to see where he was. They had to time it just right. “Are you at home?” Judah sighed, “Five minutes.” Zev smiled, “I’ll see you in five, my prince.” Judah blushed hard and sputtered, “W-what?! Ew! Stop that!” Judah didn’t like when Zev was weird. “You know you like it.” He hung up on him and Gisela continued to look at him like he was the best man in the world. He loved every second of it. 

When they pulled up it went exactly like they had thought it would. The girls sprang from the car, “HE PROPOSED!” They yelled in unison, “WHAT?!” They hugged each other jumping up and down and showed off their rings. The family was waiting and appeared on the porch to watch. A flurry of plans began and Judah rolled his eyes as he caught snatches. He wanted his daughter. 

Zev had her, “Uncle Zev loves you and loves your daddy.” She smiled, blowing bubbles at him on her lips. “Gaiaka, you make my heart feel.” He took his daughter and kissed her while her mother squealed and Gisela paused to look over them. Gisela looked happy, so very happy. They were all so happy. Later, she told Judah what she thought, “This is how it was always supposed to be.” He nodded his head, “You and me….and those two.” He smirked and she hugged him, “They’re the best.” She kissed him, “And I heard you used bats as a marriage incentive. I like it.” He pinched her and grinned, “SHUT UP.”


	172. Life without kids I

“Our kids suck ass.” 

“Not too bad.” 

“Uh, yeah, they really suck major ass.” 

“We could always call them more.” 

“They screen their calls! We’re only trying to tell them we love them and they avoid us!” 

Armin sighed, “Eren, I know but maybe they’re just busy?” Levi gave such an intense stare that it nearly burned, “Our children should make time for us.” Erwin was missing currently from the kitchen as they all sat around and discussed what to do on their weekend. Erwin worked during the week, Levi took off a few weeks from the hospital and Eren was letting his interns do their thing, “As long as they don’t kill anything then let them practice and learn without me breathing down their neck.” 

Levi looked at Eren, “When was the last time we went on a date?” Eren hummed, “I have no idea.” Armin opened his calendar, “Um…” he turned the pages, “almost three years ago.” Eren and Levi were shocked, “WHAT?!” Armin nodded, “Yep, I make dates in purple and there is only one purple here.” 

Levi’s eyes narrowed, “How many….years does that book hold?” Armin checked the cover, “Ten years.” Erwin entered, “I have a grandbaby.” Gaia was waking up and hid her face in his shoulder, “I mean, look at this precious baby.” Levi smiled and Erwin winked, “Looks like us.” Levi pouted, “Stop it.” Eren reached over and petted her hair, “Neshama, can we go on a date?” Levi groaned, “How does one even date anymore?’ Erwin kissed Gaia, “I think like they did in the olden days, Lee.” 

Eren leaned forward, “I’m going to take you on a date and you’re going to take me on one.” Armin smiled, “A competition.” Erwin sat down, “Why yes, we would be happy to judge this contest.” Levi’s eyes narrowed, “No one asked you to.” Erwin smiled, “No need to beg.” Eren smiled, “Tomorrow, we go on my date.” Levi sat back in the chair, “Okay. You can plan one and I’ll plan one but I will win.” 

Eren snorted, “Ha, okay. I’ll blow your mind.” 

Armin wanted Gaia and Erwin handed her over, “We’re going to take this little cutie to the farmer’s market.” *** 

Levi opened his closet. He’d been dressing for comfort since pulling long hours at the hospital became commonplace. Erwin stepped into the closet, “I was thinking about buying an island where we could all vacation.” Levi didn’t have it in him, “Make it somewhere without snakes and mosquitoes. Aviva won’t let us take Gaia if it’s dangerous.” 

“What are you going to wear?” 

Levi sighed, “I have no idea.” Erwin looked around, “You’ve just got dad clothes. We all have dad clothes.” Erwin sounded sad, “We’re not cool anymore. You know, the other day, only one person hit on me. I’m not used to that. I get at least three a day when I leave the house.” Levi hit him playfully, “You fucking suck.” Erwin kissed him, “Let’s pull out the clothes when the kids were younger and we we’re still hot.” 

Levi and Erwin opened the drawers and looked through the racks. 

“I found leather pants.” 

“I have a….cobalt blue v-neck.” 

“Where are your non-geriatric shoes?” 

Levi looked at Erwin, “ASSHOLE I HAVE PLENTY OF SHOES!” He threw something at him and Erwin laughed, “Really? I see nothing that’s chic.” Levi glared, “Old man, I’ll make sure you need to replace that hip sooner than you planned.” Erwin grinned, “Really? Show me how, midget.” Levi screamed charging him and climbing and rolling all over him as Erwin struggled to fight him off, “I AM HUMANITY’S STRONGEST! YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PROPAGANDA SEX GOD!” Erwin was laughing as he was taken down to the ground by Levi who pinned his wrists above his head, “I mean, I always was the hot one.” 

Levi snorted, “Yeah, as if. I’m pretty sure everyone was trying to get a piece of me.” Erwin deadpanned, “The five foot wonder? I think not.” Levi pinched his nipples through his shirt, “I’ll kill you.” Erwin leaned his head back down on the floor, “You can’t kill me.” Levi grit his teeth, “I can.” Erwin smirked, “Nope.” 

“Erwin, I swear if you don’t shut the fuck up.” 

Erwin sighed, “We should get makeovers.” Levi blinked annoyedly, “No, why? We’re old. Embrace it.” Erwin’s brow furrowed, “How old does Armin look?” Levi hummed, “He pretty much stopped at twenty nine now that I think about it. He looks a solid thirty.” Erwin hummed more, “And Eren?” Levi thought about it, “Fuck, brat looks thirty.” Erwin and Levi really started thinking about it, “Do you think they’re doing something with the serum?” Erwin really started thinking more about it all, “Armin always said he was getting a little something done and then...I just _supplied_ botox.” 

Both Levi and Erwin scrambled to get in contact with Hanji. ****** 

“Um….well…” she was in bed waking up from a nap with Oskar kissing her back, “Yeah, they’ve kind of made a sort of anti aging serum. You know, Armin is really good at science.” She laughed slightly and Oskar chuckled, “We should start using it.” She turned over and smiled while Levi and Erwin asked if they could come and look at it. ****** 

Hannahlore walked inside of the shop and Armin smiled, “Would you like to watch Gaia sometime while they’re gone?” Hannahlore nodded, “I really would love that.” He smiled, closed up, and went to meet Eren for lunch. He was excited to spend time with Eren just them. 

When he walked inside of the restaurant Eren was eating an appetizer, “Sorry, Arm.” Armin rolled his eyes, “Whatever.” Eren smiled, “I’m taking Levi on a date tonight and I was scared of what I’d do but now I am really excited.” Armin went through his bag and pushed a few books around, “What are you doing?” Eren smirked, “It’s a secret.” Armin grinned, “Ohhhh.” He looked at the menu, “Are you happy?” Eren looked confused, “What?” Armin shrugged, “Are you happy after all these years?” Eren crossed his arms sitting back in his chair, “Armin, of course I am. Can you believe we’re almost forty five?” Armin patted his face, “Well, I’d be more upset if we hadn’t pretty much found the elixir of youth.” 

Armin and Eren ordered and then he turned back to another subject, “I don’t feel fun anymore.” Armin seemed sad, “I don’t feel like we do anything special. I’m kind of...jealous that the kids do dangerous things.” Eren narrowed his eyes, “I have just the thing in mind for you.” Armin was excited, “What?” Eren shook his head, “Not until we finish.” 

Armin stuck his tongue out, ‘You suck.” ***** 

Armin ran around in the dark room covered in glow in the dark paint. 

_Pow_

His chest blinked red, “DAMN IT!” 

Eren cackled, “RUN! IT’LL DO YOU NO GOOD!” Armin giggled wildly as he ducked down behind a low wall, “STOP PICKING ON ME!” He shot at him and then calmed down, “No, I have to get him all crazy and Eren.” They each could only get out one more time before they had to leave the game. He thought about it and then cried out, “OH NO! OW! EREN! I’M HURT!” Eren moved from his sniper perch and after a few more cries he came down, “ARMIN!” 

_Pow_

Armin’s demonic laughter made Eren paused, “ASSHOLE!” 

They giggled and pushed on each other out into the lobby. Armin was the winner on the board and they took a selfie with it, “Kids are still into selfies.” Armin smirked, “We’re a little old.” Eren tisked, “NO! We’re forever young.” Armin kissed his cheek, “Thanks, that was fun.” Eren hugged him, “Thanks for being my best friend.” ***** 

Gaia squirmed and cried as Erwin held her, “Shuuuushhhh, shuuuushhhh.” He knew she missed her mother. He rocked her, “Just go to sleep, princess. You’ll be that much closer to waking up and seeing your momma.” He missed his daughter, “I miss your momma.” He mumbled and the door opened to his room, “Oy, are you pinching her?” Levi and Erwin had gone to the hospital and decided that if their lovers would be young then they’d be young, too. “Damn, you look twenty years younger.” 

Levi tilted his head to side coyly, nicking his chin up, “You wanna fuck, old man? You’re lookin’ like you could actually keep up now.” Erwin chuckled and a teary eyed Gaia turned her head, “Da da da da da da da….” She reached out and Erwin chuckled louder, “Oh, noooo, that’s not your dada. That’s your Zayde.” She reached more and Levi took her, “If my granddaughter thinks I’m her father then I must be looking younger.” 

He kissed her and she calmed down, “You don’t think that was her first word, right?” Erwin shook his head, “No, I think she’s trying but dada doesn’t make a word in my book. I didn’t let Armin count it.” Levi looked him up and down, “You are looking very fuckable.” Erwin smirked, “I see where Kempfer gets his potty mouth.” Levi grinned, “Kempfer is a good boy. So are the others.” 

“Your date is in a few minutes.” Levi nodded, “I wonder what brat came up with.” Erwin shrugged, “Probably something really sweet.” Levi stuck his tongue out, “Yuck, I need more than sweet to get my groove back.” He kissed Gaia and passed her to Erwin, “Gaia, can you keep a secret?” They both leaned forward looking her in the face. She smiled and they both smiled back. Levi leaned a bit closer, “You’re our favorite out of everyone.” She giggled and they smiled before sharing a sweet kiss, “Well, she is you and me together.” Levi hit him, “Give it up, old man. Our ship sailed a long time ago.” ***** 

Levi was on the couch when there was a knock at the door. He looked around and then went to open it. He did and there was Eren, holding flowers, gawking, “L-l-l-l-l-eeeevi!” Levi smirked, “What’s wrong brat?” Eren figured that he found out about the serum. He handed him the flowers and Levi blinked, “Oh….these are for me?’ They were lillies and Levi loved them. Eren had gotten them for him when they first met. Eren had shown up at his door with flowers out of the blue, “Brat? Are you?” 

Eren was shaking. Seeing a young Levi made him go right back to his old insecure self, “W-w-would you like to go….on a date with me?’ He was shaking so bad he put his hands in his pocket. His hair was messy. He was wearing an olive green long sleeved shirt. Eren and Levi blushed at the door together in silence, “Whatever.” Levi mumbled and Eren smiled, “Okay….are you ready now?” Levi turned redder, “Yes!” He said it quickly, completely embarrassed and loving how ridiculous Eren could be sometimes. 

Eren shuffled his feet, “O-okay.” 

He took Levi to the dog park. Levi tensed up but he didn’t want to ruin the mood. This is what they’d done. Eren opened his door. Eren was quiet and nervously smiled, “I….did something that might make you mad.” Levi turned to him, “What?” Eren shrugged, “Let’s go listen to the music and you can get a beer or something.” Levi smirked, “I’ll buy you a beer, brat.” That’s exactly what they had said. Levi’s heart fluttered. 

They sat down in flimsy chairs just like all those years ago and Eren fidgeted, “Remember when we came and I ran after Donner before falling in the mud?” Levi snorted, “I could never forget.” He looked down at the ground, “It hurts being here, Eren. I’m not going to lie.” Eren’s face fell and Levi relaxed slightly, “But, it’s also nice….I guess….” Eren looked over at a few of the dog breeders who ran petting pens where their animals could be adopted. “What did you do that’s going to make me mad?” 

Eren sighed, “I had Donner bred and I’m going to go over there and pick up his pup for you so we can start a new chapter the same way we began one.” Levi looked floored, “That’s not possible.” Eren shook his head, “Yeah, I found his original breeder and the military kept his stuff froze and ready to make other great dogs. I filed for it. Got it and found a female that had a similar background story. I’m sorry and I don’t want you to be angry but I know that you miss him and it’s not to replace him. It’s just to enjoy a piece of him and to help your attacks. We’re going to have to get something for Judah, soon.” 

“Judah’s….Judah’s fine.” Eren shook his head, “No, Levi. He’s not. Gisela isn’t either but….” He waved to the breeder, “Let’s enjoy our date like we did the first time we had it.” Levi wanted to cry when Eren went to pick up the pup. He brought him over, fur black as night, paws brown and some around his face. He was long haired and his pink tongue and bright eyes were so like his father. Eren sat the large pup in his lap and then sat back down, “So, what kind of music do you like?” 

Levi was so emotional but then he just had to laugh at that, “I like a lot of music. How about you?” Eren smirked, “I like dance music and Lana Del Rey and just a lot of stuff.” Levi’s hand carded through the fur and he did, admittedly, feel so much better. He was torn but Eren was right. It had been long enough. 

Donner had died at almost twenty years old on a rainy day with Ezra’s head resting on his stomach. The children had all cried but Nikko, Judah, Ezra, and Gisela were devastated and listless for weeks afterwards. Donner had lived a long life. He was happy. But, he was Levi’s constant rock and then he was gone. 

The first year was horrible. It didn’t really get any better and his emotional support shifted completely to Eren and the others but they just couldn’t give him the same empathy. 

Now, this little puppy and Eren were sweetly, shyly, showing him affection and he couldn’t handle the warmth inside of him that blossomed. “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Levi was scratching behind the puppy’s ears. He was large, already started his training for emotional support. Eren had planned this well. “I want to be a father.” Eren grinned, “Really? Not a superhero?” Levi scoffed, “Superheros are lame. I like villains better.” Eren laughed, “Do you like action films?” Levi leaned forward, “Horror films and dramas.” 

“Are you religious?” 

“Jewish.” 

“Are you into me?” 

“Very much.” 

“Well,” Eren blushed, “wanna walk around the track and play with him?” Levi loved this sweet date. “How old is he?” Eren pet his soft fur, “He’s almost seven months.” Levi snorted, “He’s huge.” Eren chuckled, ‘He’s going to get bigger.” Levi pulled him closer and kissed his head smelling his fur, “You’ve been taking care of him.” Eren nodded, ‘Yep.” 

”What’s his name?” 

Eren was shy, “I’m not too good at names so I did Blitzen. I KNOW, I’M LAME!” Levi looked at Blitzen, “Are you a Blitzen? Can you run like lightning?” Blitzen's ears perked up and Levi kissed his nose, “Oh, let’s see.” Eren wanted to scream at how cute they were. “Let’s take him around the park.” 

They walked around and let Blitzen explore. The area was gated and the puppy was trained. Eren had done so well, “Remember when Donner was playing and you’d run around so much you fell down exhausted?” Eren nodded, “Of course. I was so nervous. I’m still really nervous around you.” Levi felt Blitzen stop next to him and then his wet tongue, “How does he know me?” Eren smiled, “I’ve brought your shirts and pictures to the breeder.” 

“Brat….you’re….nice.” 

“Just nice?” 

“Yeah.” 

They played with Blitzen and then went back to the car. Eren drove them downtown and they walked around listening to live music and drinking leisurely. Blitzen stayed close to Levi, “How did they train him so well?” Eren held his hand, “They said it was in his blood. I had to agree.” Eren opened the door to a BBQ place, “I brought you here and you ate treif.” Levi smirked as they stood in line, “It was the first time in such a long time, too.” Eren swayed back and forth, “So, what kind of people do you normally date?” 

Levi gave him an unamused look, “I don’t date, brat. I have an Erwin. He takes a lot of time.” Eren stepped forward, “Two open face chicken BBQ sandwiches, two bags of chips, two sweet teas, and some mac and cheese, please.” 

“Brat, did you just order for me?” 

“Um….do you not want what I ordered?” 

“No, it’s fine. I just think you’re asking for it speaking for me.” 

“What does Blitzen want?” 

“He wants crushed ice.” 

“Okay, I’ll get that too.” 

They ate inside and listened to people. Eren sat on one side of the booth but Levi moved to his side to throw his arm around him. Eren felt the same fluttering in his chest from when he was 18. Levi had a way about him. The looks he gave to others, the way he was so kind to Blitzen, the way he touched him with respect and love. Eren was swooning for his husband. 

Levi and Eren finished their food and walked outside to the car but Eren instead drug him to get ice cream. He walked up to the counter, “I want birthday cake remix.” Levi ordered, “Vanilla….with sprinkles.” Eren laughed, “Sprinkles.” Levi hit him and pinched him, “Shut up, brat.” Eren stole some of his sprinkles outside on the patio while Blitzen pressed against Levi watching the world. 

They got in their car and Eren stayed shy, reaching over to take his hand. Levi rolled his head against the side of the headrest, “Brat, why are you so nervous?” Eren flushed, ‘You’re so cool.” Levi chuckled, gunmetal smooth. “You get me a dog and are all forward taking me on a date but now you’re shy and reserved.” Eren looked over at him, “I mean, it’s hard to ask a god out on a date. I mean, I don’t even know if I’m your type.” Levi smirked, “You’re not bad, kid.” 

They pulled up to their house, “Wow, kid, you just gunna pull up to the door?” Eren smiled, “I mean, I’d hate for you to walk really far.” Levi reached over to keep him from opening the door, “Kid,” his voice was low and raspy, “come here.” He pulled his face closer and kissed him. It was so shy and tentative. Levi unhooked his seatbelt and crawled over into Eren’s lap. They kissed for a long time just like they had outside of the dorm. 

Blitzen whimpered a bit, the car growing very hot. Levi chuckled against his lips, “He's right, we should have cracked a window.” Eren was breathless and flustered, “I think he's just a kid and thinks kissing is icky.” Eren grinned and they got out of the car. Blitzen had to meet more of his new family anyway. 

Once they had him settled into his bed with toys and pee pad for emergencies, Levi was not thrilled but the dog door was downstairs and Blitzen was new, Eren couldn't make the butterflies go away from the car. He remembered how he'd ended the first date. 

Eren walked into their room to find Levi taking his watch off and Eren made his move, “You know how you sucked me off at the lake house?’ Levi merely raised an eyebrow and Eren moved closer, “Well, I've been wanting to return the favor.” Levi was more than excited. He liked their nostalgic recreation of their first date so far. 

”You think you can even impress me?” Eren rubbed his hands together, “I think you'll find a reason to keep me around.” Eren pulled him into a kiss, his hands moving around his waist to pull him closer. Levi’s muffled sound of surprise in the back of his throat made Eren smile more. He pushed him against the bed, removed his clothes and settled between his thighs. 

“Well kid, you got me naked.” Eren grinned, slight blush on his cheeks, “I sure did.” Eren’s mouth was soft and talented. Levi remembered just why he’d decided to keep him around. When they were finished, they made out in the sheets and then watched Parks and Recreation. It was a perfect re-do of their first date and Levi knew it’d be hard to follow.


	173. Life Without Kids prt II

Erwin nudged Levi at the table, “So, I take it last night went well?” Armin and Eren were playing with Gaia while Blitzen explored. He checked in with Levi frequently. Levi thought he was adorable and it comforted him knowing Donner was in some way there. His line lived on. _I always knew you had a Jewish soul, Donner._ He smirked a little, “Brat did a good job.” 

Erwin sat back and sighed, “Are you going to do well?” Levi shrugged, “Maybe. I'm not sure. I went out with Judah a few weeks ago and it really made me miss all those times we raised hell, got piss drunk, and donkey punched the night. I think I just want to feel a little less fluff and little more of the blunt edge of life.” 

Erwin knew where this was heading, “You just give me a call if you need someone to pick you up.” Levi leaned into Erwin’s side a bit, “Old man, you're really getting soft.” Erwin pulled his face upwards and left many kisses on his lips, “My little Jewish Soothsayer, you make me hard. Not soft.” He winked and Blitzen whimpered wanting up on the bench, “No, sugar pup, not up here. We can't get that started.” Erwin reached out with his pointer finger and pushed lightly on Blitzen’s nose, “Boop.” He started to chuckle while Blitzen looked at him unamused, “Lee, he already looks like you.” 

“He doesn't like stupid.” 

“So, why does he like you?” 

“Let's go fight.” 

Erwin put another pancake on his plate, “Shut up and eat.” Levi smirked, mumbling, “That's what I thought.” Blitzen barked, “Oh goodness, is no one paying attention to you? Here, get up here.” He let him up on the bench and Erwin smirked to himself. Levi really was enjoying the newest addition to his life and it made Erwin so happy. 

Levi got up after a while, “I'm going to Hanji’s to hang out and get ready. Catch you later, loser.” He grabbed Blitzen’s leash and whistled. Blitzen rushed off the bench to his side. His tongue out happily. “Tell brat I'll see him at four.” Erwin nodded, “Yeah, yeah.” *** 

Hanji smiled as she saw Blitzen, “WHO is this!?” Oskar came behind her and looked down, “Oh, Hanji, we should get a cute little puppy.” Hanji knelt down, “Is he service?” Levi nodded, “Yeah, brat did it. It's Donner’s pup.” Hanji snickered, “I don't get why you call puppies pups. What even, Levi?” Levi frowned, “Shut up, shitty glasses. Let me in so I can do my shit and not have to look at your sickening door decorations.” Hanji smiled, “I bought this from Armin’s shop” 

“It's gaaaaay.” 

“Levi! THAT'S YOUR OTHER HUSBAND!” 

“And he's a raging homosexual. My point stands. Everything he touches turns to gay.” Oskar welcomed them inside where he had treats and tea waiting. Vadimas was also there reading with Vared. Vadimas was getting older and Hanji wanted him to let her take care of him. He'd reluctantly moved in after Vared commented she could visit more often. 

Levi sat down and looked at the pictures of Mila. He smiled, “She’s amazing.” Hanji sat with him, “She really is. Best thing in my life. Oskar’s second best.” Oskar smirked, “I’ll try not to be too upset. Levi, what do you have planned for Levi tonight?’ Levi grinned, “Anarchy.” *** 

Levi grabbed Eren and pushed him against the car kissing him hotly. Eren melted into him, confused and caught off guard. Levi released him and gave his face a short slap, “Get in the car, brat.” He’d shown up looking fierce and dangerous in black leather and gunmetal grey. Eren had nearly ran out of the house full of curiosity. 

Levi drove them towards the amphitheatre where many concerts were held. Eren looked over, “What are we going to see?” Levi smirked, “Don’t worry about it.” Eren noted Levi’s mischievous bad boy glint in his eyes, “Are you going to tell me anything?” There was silence for a long time. 

“Even a little hint about what’s going to happen tonight?” 

Levi looked over, “I’m going to fuck you. There, cat’s out of the bag.” Eren blushed, “Wow, you’re really forward tonight.” 

Levi pulled into the field where they could park, “I used to be like this all the time.” Eren snorted, “It’s exactly where Judah gets it.” 

“Shut up, brat.” 

* 

Levi’s hands were rough as he plunged his tongue into Eren’s mouth, wet and sloppy. He was high, Eren just as gone. The smoke from the pyro technique filled their senses. Levi pulled at his shirt and tried to take it off. Eren moaned into his mouth and the crowd moved around them in general admission. The music was loud and raunchy. 

Levi moved back, his arm around Eren as he finished his jack and coke. Eren moved to the music and Levi left to get them more to drink. As he walked away he was approached by another concert goer who wanted to dance with him and get handsy. Eren politely pushed him away and then- 

_Punch_

Levi was beating the shit out of him and that started a semi mosh pit with the friends of the other guy getting involved to actually fight Levi. The debauchery was punctuated by Levi’s laughs at their attempts to put him in his place. He was enjoying the anarchy of the moment and the blood on his face stood out in the occasional bright flashes of light. Eren pulled him back wiping along his face, “Eren, Eren!” 

Eren stopped and listened to Levi chuckle, “It’s not my blood.” 

Eren was relieved and soon was once again being kissed breathless by the man who stole his heart all those years ago. He was also spanked harshly and his neck was covered in hickeys. Levi was insatiable and wild. “Is this your favorite band or bands or?” Eren’s voice was amused and rushed. Levi looked at him, “Yeah, the headliner TOOL is. The bands before are pretty good, too. It's about to get lit, brat. Here.” He pulled out some cannabis oil and edibles, “There’s a green area over there we can lay down on.” 

Eren smiled, “Let’s go. You know, I really never do drugs.” 

Levi’s eyes twinkled, “Who you trying to fool with that line, kid?” 

Eren smiled shyly, “I’m a good kid.” 

Levi rolled his eyes and brought him over to the grassy area. He made a place for them and then pulled Eren into his lap, “A good kid? I bet you're a rich ass little kid who got his drugs with daddy’s money.” Levi’s lips never left his neck. This was just like their fifth date when Levi tried to scare him off. Levi had felt like he was completely in love with Eren and it had destroyed him. The weight of the world rested on his shoulders. Should he date a young kid and ruin what he and Erwin had laid out? 

He had thought a lot of things and then he thought, well, _fuck it._

Eren squirmed as Levi’s hands roamed his body, “Did you bathe in money growing up. Did someone stick a silver spoon in your ass everyday?” He nibbled his earlobe and licked behind it, “Did you like that spoon in your ass?” Eren thought about how Levi really had improved his dirty talk over the years but appreciated the flashback, “It wasn’t a spoon….just a finger.” Eren turned smirking and Levi kissed him, “I should fuck you and take your money.” 

“Tough shit, I don’t have that much. I heard you're loaded.” 

“I’m only loaded because the man fucked me.” 

“Bet you bent over and let him.” 

“Fuck you. Brat.” 

Eren started to attack him pushing him on his back kissing him roughly. He straddled him, his hips moving while Levi gripped him and kept him on him. They got even higher, lying on the grass and listening to the music. When the show was over Levi pulled him off the ground and they made their way slowly but steadily through the crowd. Levi was so fucking hot in Eren’s opinion. He was rude, cold, pushed people away and mouthed off. He was lippy, threatened, and mocked others. 

Eren had almost forgotten what a gangster he’d been and now even more than before he saw where Judah had gotten his personality from. 

Levi pushed him against the car. He moved against him and Eren’s breath hitched, “Did you ever get fucked in the back of your daddy’s car, bougie brat?” Eren raised an eyebrow, “I was the one fucking someone in the back of it.” Levi smirked, chuckling darkly, “Oh,” his eyes glinted with mischief, “okay.” He pushed Eren away from the car, “Get the fuck in the car.” 

Eren went to the side and tried to open the door but Levi left it locked and started to pull off. Eren panicked and started to run along the side while Levi grinned. He heard the door unlock and opened it jumping inside barely getting the door closed before Levi pulled onto the highway burning rubber and laughing at Eren’s panting and all consuming fear. He was high and that had been a little too much. 

“Hold on, brat.” 

Levi drove like an insane person and Eren felt like he was in the car with Ezra. 

*** 

Levi took the knife and Eren opened his fingers wide. He wasn’t the one involved in the bet but he still willed that Levi would be successful. Levi and he were drunk, bumped in the bathroom of this underground club of punk music and grungy pipes and cement. Levi was currently betting with a table of gangster wannabes and now there was money riding on him not stabbing himself. 

The knife went _tick, tick, tick, tick!_

Eren wasn’t as stressed as he had been when he was eighteen but he still didn’t want a hurt husband. Levi had bet a lot of money, though. Their date had led them to this very same grungy bar. Someone once told him that Nikko liked to come here but that couldn’t be so. This was no place for Nikko. Hell, there were neo-nazis in one of the corners. Remnants of those Levi had previously fought no doubt, “Winner!” 

The other guy lost a finger but Levi had only a slight cut on his inner finger that looked like just dead skin to anyone who wasn’t Eren. Soon, Levi had signed up for a few fights. Eren worried his lip. “Why do you look so upset?” Eren didn’t want to say. Levi scrutinized his face, “You think I can’t win?” Eren was afraid he’d get hurt since he was, “Old….you fucking think I’m too old.” Eren cringed, “Levi-” 

Levi went into the ring, “Brat, I’ll show you.” 

And he did. 

He beat everyone who opposed him, blood soaked his shirt and his face was swollen on the left side. 

Eren couldn’t deny he always thought Levi was like fire. It need only a little wind to burn through the world. He was up against a proud neo-nazi swastika wearing young twenty something and his two brothers in aryan hatred. Levi was keeping it pretty clean but when it looked like the Jew would win they decided to pull a knife on him. He was wounded but not before beating them into submission. 

He ended the night with a familiar game. 

An older man appeared, “Nikko?” Levi snorted and smirked, “What has my Nikko been up to?” The man smiled, “Your Nikko?” Levi grinned, “Nikko is my oldest son.” The man gawked, “AND JUDAH?” Levi grinned wider, “He’s my youngest son.” The man shut his mouth, “Well, sir...your sons often play this game with some of the more….alt right of our establishment. You know the rules, I trust?” 

Levi stood in the bucket, “You bet your shitty ass I do.” 

Levi loaded a bullet in the gun and spun it in the chamber. 

Eren got in another bucket to the side of him. Levi looked over, “Brat, you’re not old enough to play this game. Sit out.” Eren cocked his head to the side, “I’m playing, old man. You might want to sit this one out.” He spun the chamber and locked it. Levi’s emotions flared. “I’ll make you regret that.” Eren had done something so similar that date. If he was remembering correctly, Eren had been quiet and a little scared the entire date. He’d embraced the sexual aspect of it and had been a good sport but deep down inside he’d been truly confused. 

Their opponents stepped into their metal buckets and they began playing. 

* 

Eren smiled as he put the bullet inside, “I’d say this was a rematch.” Levi smirked, “Kid, forfeit.” Eren and Levi had made it through nearly ten separate people each before facing off on each other. “Nikko and Judah haven’t even been against each other….” The man was surprised that two parents would risk their lives like this. 

Eren smiled, “I’ll be sure to not shoot you in the dick. I like it too much.” Levi huffed, “I’ll be sure to shoot you in yours. I can always use your mouth.” The man blushed, “On my count.” Eren raised his gun with Levi raising his as well. He was stone cold and lethal. Eren wanted him badly, “Three, two,....one!” 

_click!_

Eren and Levi both had shot blank. 

_CLICK!_

Nothing but the loud crowd’s yell. 

_Click!_

Eren cringed thinking he’d been hit but still nothing from either one. 

Levi laughed loudly, “YOU FLINCHED! How weak.” 

Eren got angry, “HEY! WHAT THE FUCK!?” 

Levi taunted him, “I mean, don’t try to run with the big dogs if you’re gunna be weak.” 

“I’M NOT WEAK!” 

“Could have fooled me, brat.” 

“Fuck you!” 

“Ha, you wish you could.” 

Eren pulled the trigger and Levi was surprised. 

_Click!_

_  
_

Levi pulled his own and jerked slightly from the thought of the bullet hitting him. 

Eren’s gun didn’t fire. 

Levi took a deep breath and noted Eren’s face turning red. 

They pulled the trigger, _POW!_

Eren’s shoulder was hit. He gasped grasping it. Levi’s leg nearly gave out beneath him as the pain coursed through it. Eren and Levi had both hit each other and hit hard. Their blood trickled in the bucket and those who had put their bets on the outcome being a draw were rewarded. 

Eren would heal but not Levi. Levi tore a piece of cloth from a bystander’s shirt and tied his leg. Eren stood in the bucket unmoving. His pupils dilated from adrenaline. He pulled his face in harshly for a kiss. Levi bit his lip harshly, “Fuck you.” Eren kissed him back sloppily, “Fuck you, too.” Levi pulled him out of the bucket and they drank more. 

*** 

Levi had serum in the emergency kit in his car. Eren licked his lips as Levi limped towards it. He was pretty tired and had lost a lot of blood. Levi was weak and Eren remembered how he’d taken him in the back of the car all those years ago. He looked at the belts in the backseat and groaned internally. Levi had found it very disturbing. “Brat, don’t even think about it.” 

Eren pushed him in the back and Levi turned on his back, “You have no idea the trap you fell into.” Eren’s breath hitched as Levi grabbed rope from under the chair and set to tying Eren with it. He had no idea how this had happened. Levi was weak and he had all the opportunity. 

Levi smirked, “Judah doesn’t just get it out if thin air, you know?” 

He drove them to Judah’s club and pulled Eren through a back door. Eren’s shoes drug on the cement as the back doors opened, “Levi?” A man nodded and let him in, “Take me to the black room.” Eren didn’t like the sound of that or the fact that no one even seemed to be upset that he was clearly being taken against his will. The man led them to a room and looked at his leg, ‘You gunna need anything? A certain package. Like, some tarps or something?” 

Levi paused, “What….kind of packages does my son offer here?” Eren was also intrigued. The man recoiled, “If you were one who needed them you’d know them.” He left Levi and Eren to blink and wonder what they’re son really got up to, “Thank God he never hurt Aviva or Erwin might have taken this place from me.” Eren was shaking, “I think this date has gone a little far.” Levi looked at him, “If you can’t hang brat, then you can’t be with me. I can find plenty of others to date than you.” 

Eren buckled, “But…” 

“I just want someone who wants to submit.” 

Eren’s legs shook with anticipation, “I want to submit.” 

* 

Levi leaned over and pulled on the chain to make sure it was tight enough. He’d wrapped Eren’s legs and arms in black leather sleeves, bending them at the knees and elbows to make him more vulnerable. Eren was panting, pulling on the chains while Levi pulled out a small machine, “Now, let’s have some fun.” He placed small sticky squares with cords up his legs towards his sex. Eren looked at him, “What are those?” 

“Electric pads. They’ll pulsate and shock you.” 

“Are you trying to get information out of me?” 

“No, I just want to watch you squirm until you break. Nothing you say or promise to do will make me turn it off until I’ve been satiated.” 

“What’s that rod?” 

“Well, I’m going to slip this into your cock and it’ll also be hooked up to the machine. You won’t be able to come at all without me removing it and you’ll feel an indescribable amount of pressure, feelings, pleasure, and pain.” 

Eren was shaking, “Levi….” 

Levi looked over at him, “Did slave have something else in mind?” 

Eren moaned slightly, “Damn, no. Slave didn’t have shit in mind.” 

Levi smirked, “Good. Let me fucking abuse you.” 

* 

Eren pulled against his restraints and screamed. He screamed loudly and often. The shocks titillated his body and rocked him. His cock lay throbbing to the side, weeping trails of precome. It was so red and purple it looked positively angry and his entire body was covered in sweat. He writhed around and moaned till his throat was raw and whimpers were all he could manage. Levi sat back in his chair and watched the torture enjoying the sight before him. 

Eren’s hair was stuck to his head. His skin flushed beneath his tan. Levi liked how Eren’s tan line from his swim trunks really accentuated the twitching of his hip flexors. He wanted to lean over… 

_Levi leaned over and licked along his hip bone while Eren moaned more and cried hysterically._

Levi licked up and down the side of his cock while Eren shuddered violently. He screamed louder for it to end, for there to be finally an end to it all. Levi’s hands smoothed along his heightened body as he sucked and kissed Eren’s skin till he passed out. It wasn’t the first of last time he’d do it, either. He had been treated in a similar fashion on that fifth date. 

Levi had tied him up, pistol whipped him, forced his cock between his lips and beat him into a bloody pulp on the floor of a bar bathroom. He’d pissed on him and then fingered him in the back of their car before but not before he’d hosed him off outside of the bar talking about how dirty he was. 

Now he was still being tortured and pushed to the edge. It had been almost too much for an eighteen year old and this was too much for him now. He’s rather him beat him and hang him in a closet. But this felt really good….and painful….ugh life was hard for a sub. 

“Brat, I’m going to fuck you now.” 

Eren was crying, “Please, please, please, sir. Please fuck me.” 

Levi turned the machine off. 

He’d stretched him while torturing him. 

Levi moved over him lining his hips up. Eren was still whimpering as he grabbed his hair and moved his head back. He guided himself inside and kissed Eren with abandon. Levi drank his whines and moans while roughly using him like a rag doll. He was his quiet self again. No need for words. Their sex was normally wordless and rarely did Levi make any considerable noise. Eren was always the one who made up for the other. 

Levi came inside of him with a gruff groan and bite to his lip. 

He recovered and sat back down in the chair he’d occupied the entire time. He was sweating. His hands moved up his face to smooth his hair back. He looked at Eren and pulled him closer towards him, “Okay, brat.” 

He removed the metal bar and started to stroke Eren in corkscrew patterns, cupping his balls and rubbing them. He used their fluids to slick him up. He was impossibly hot, wet, and he twitched. He was overly sensitive and babbling incoherently as Levi worked him. Eren’s back arched and he whined loudly. His body convulsed as Levi kept on slicking him and spitting on him. Finally, Eren found release. His come shot up all over his stomach and chest. Levi found it to be mesmerizing and licked it up before kissing him back on the bed. 

He softly checked Eren and kissed him. 

They walked out into the parking lot after a few minutes. The night was still young enough. Eren turned to Levi, “I believe you got me tacos all those years ago.” Levi snorted and took him downtown to the taco food truck. They parked, got tacos, and more drinks. They were officially drunk again. All they wanted to do was go home and cuddle. Levi knew Eren’s sub low could hit at any moment. He was already acting off. 

He looked over where they had parked and looked for his key. 

_Levi’s eyes widened, “uh oh.”_

*** 

Cesare woke up and marched down the stairs. He had his gun that Ezra didn’t know he had, Ezra had been weird about that for some reason, and was prepared to acost the burglars that he heard loudly rummaging in his house. He reached the end of the stairs and kept against the wall. He edged into the kitchen and saw that food had been left out and then saw aba and baba making out on the counter, “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE!?” 

Levi pulled back, stumbling, “Shuuuushhhh, don’t you have a baby?” Cesare turned blood red just like Jean, “MY BABY HASN’T BEEN BORN YET! WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE!” Eren laughed, “Levi lost his keys and we’re sleepy.” 

Cesare stared at Eren and Eren pouted, “Can aba and I stay the night?” Cesare was still livid, “How did you get in, baba?” Eren shrugged, “I mean, how does anyone get in?” Levi was eating white powdered donuts from Kroger, “We used the key Ezra told us about. Where is your cat? I like her.” Eren smiled, “We looooove you! Do you have any cheese? I really want some.” 

Cesare put them to bed with food and drink. He sat down at his computer and sent off a scathing email to Ezra about his parents and then one to his own. He was so over their ridiculous family. His skype started to go off and he clicked it, “Ezra?” 

“You’re so handsome. HaShem! I love you.” 

“They fucking suck and I’m going to kill you about this fucking key!” 

“They’re old and in love. Let them be. Tell me about the baby….” 

* 

Cesare drove Levi and Eren home in the morning. They were snuggled up in the back, softly kissing each other. They got out of the car once at the house and Eren turned to Cesare to kiss his forehead, “Ray?” Cesare smiled softly and begrudgingly, “Baba?’ Eren patted his face, “I destroyed your bathroom. Sorry.” 

Cesare was red and screaming as Levi and Eren giggled running into the house. Levi and Eren took a shower together, ate some more, and crawled into their bed, “Erwin has a spare key.” Levi nuzzled his face into Eren’s hair, “Good. But, knowing him he’ll just buy me a new fucking car. Come up here, Blitzen!” Blitzen joined them, “Who won?” Eren was curious and Levi smiled, “We both did, brat. We both did.”


	174. Just Between You and Me

[Mila](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/89/c5/c7/89c5c7cfaa7bde72c490c6a19f731877.jpg) and [Nikko](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/d8/bd/fe/d8bdfef9655717fb1ee2d2abc89c93e4.jpg)

**************************************** 

The buzz echoed in the room from the tattoo gun, “This is a nice idea. Brothers should always stick together.” Nikko stared at the ceiling and Judah moaned, “You’re a freak.” Ilya laughed, “A freak like me.” Judah leaned his head to the side, “It feels so fucking good.” Nikko closed his eyes and focused on the pain of the tattoo. When Ilya wiped the ink away on Judah’s arm he turned to look at Maxim who was doing Nikko’s, “How is it, Nehemiah?” 

Nikko opened his eyes, ‘It’s perfect.”

*

Judah was looking at this girl across from them in the bar like he could eat her, “I could use a fuck.” Nikko snorted into his beer and then he nodded, “She’s cute. But, she doesn’t hold a candle to some of the women we know.” Judah chuckled, “I’ve got drugs.”

”You normally do.”

”Come to the bathroom with me.”

“I shouldn’t.”

“Come.”

“Rebecca...she’d not-”

Judah turned to him, “I don’t understand why you’re dating that tight ass! Come on, live a little.”

Judah pulled his face towards his, “Brother, you’re leaving soon. Have fun and live a little with me. You know without you I’m just going to be alone and abandoned with Ezra. He’s always smiling.” Nikko and he started to chuckle. Nikko’s voice was low and comical, “Yeah, what’s up with that guy? Always fucking smiling and laughing.” Judah smirked, “Doesn't he know we’re supposed to be depressed?” Nikko grinned while Judah kissed him chastely, “Come to the bathroom. Let it out.” 

Nikko started, “What?”

Judah pulled back, “There’s a reason that you always loved watching Gisela and Aviva dance in Swan Lake. You and Gigi, you two are both the white and black swans.”

Judah moved off the bar stool, “Come on, NIkko. It’s time to lose yourself.”

***

Rebecca wore only modest clothing, she didn’t cuss, she was orthodox, and she was studious and a little, “When we graduate from Yeshiva and get two separate apartments, then we’ll look for work and get engaged. Then we’ll get married in the fall and have at least four kids, maybe eight.” She went on and on and on and-

“You know, I think that you should join me in cutting ties with some people that will only hold us back from becoming closer to God and-” Nikko had had enough, “Rebecca? Are you telling me that you have our lives planned out?” She turned around with her text book open in front of her, “Of course! We have to follow everything to the T. We can’t leave things to chance.” Her sister was uncomfortable in the room. Nikko stared, sitting on her bed. He wiped his hands down his face and started a low, but gradually increasing in pitch, groan of frustration.

She turned around as he stood up and threw things off of her little side table, “NO!”

She stood up, “No?! WHAT?!”

He looked at her, “NO! NO TO THIS! I’m not doing this anymore, Rebecca! Two years of you telling me what to do and how and now you’re planning everything and it’s just a trap. I’m young! I want to go out and fuck girls with long fingernails and red lipstick. I’M DONE!”

Rebecca was known for always guilting him to stay with her. He’d tried to break away before. Handsome Jewish boys like Nikko were hard to come by. She started to cry, sob really. “NIKKO! 

He left and her mother drug behind him hanging onto his legs. Nikko had hives on his chest. He couldn't breathe. He walked home knowing his car would be picked up later. He had to get home. 

In the privacy of his bathroom he made decisions. Judah sat on the bed with Ezra till it seemed he'd never emerge. Ezra went to work and Zev appeared, eyes traveling the length of Judah’s napping form, “You're such a little hottie demon.” 

Judah opened one eye, “Fuck off.” Zev sat down by his side and then covered him with his body moving him into a cuddling position, “Get the fuck off!” Zev buried his face in his neck, “We both know you don't mean that.” Judah’s breath was caught in his throat as Zev’s hand moved up and down his stomach. 

The door opened and Zev turned his head. Judah struggled to get out of the compromising situation. “Damn, Nikko.” Nikko had shaved and cut his hair into a mohawk. He looked like a punk, “I don't ever want to go back to the Nikko that wanted to marry her. My God, there has to be more.” 

Zev laughed loudly and moved off the bed to slap a hand on his shoulder. He smiled brightly, “Let's go raise hell, just you and me.” Judah pouted. 

* 

The music was loud and Nikko danced till he was covered in sweat. Zev tossed back a beer rather quickly, watching him. He joined in and soon they were lost. Both of them afraid of the future and running from someone and something. 

Neither wanted to ask the other what was wrong. They had always been of similar mind. 

***

[Mila](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/cd/d3/75/cdd37527179e4b054982c2e132025050.jpg) had come to France with her mother, Levi, and Oskar when she was eighteen. She had been frightened and excited at the same time. Levi had tears in his eyes, “We had the floor renovated and the other apartments but I want you in our apartment. It’s important to me.” She held his hand, “Of course. I’ll do whatever you want.” Levi opened the apartment elevator door with his key and then he led them to the original apartment, “Remember when we all had to share one?” He snorted, “I do.”

The apartment was still the same as she remembered but she noticed a large bow on the room David and Mikasa normally used. He smiled shyly, “I had it renovated just for you.” She hugged him, “You didn’t have to.” He was so touched, he held her tightly, “Of course I did, Mila. I love you so much.” She opened the door and squealed, “OH! How did you know!? I love it!” Her [room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/01/54/86/015486f32164500f9392630bad1606dc.jpg) was very boho. She loved the style but since she wanted to be seen as a smart and up and coming doctor she didn’t let that be known to many. Levi smiled, “Perhaps, you should stop dressing so stuffy and be your true bohemian self?” 

Levi hated how hard she was on herself and the pressure she put on herself. She wanted to impress them so badly. She was determined, studious, controlled. These were all things that were good, but not to the extent that she took them to. She needed to let loose a bit and be more comfortable in her own skin, “Mila, you know that if you ever need anything, anything, call me and ask. If you need me to get you out of jail, if you….if you do anything I will be there and I will be there by your side and defend you till the end.” She started to chuckle, “Even if I kill someone?” He didn’t drop his face, “Yeah.”

She looked at him and then started laughing again, “You’re so weird, uncle Levi.”

He was awkward when he smiled. 

She hugged him and he sighed while Hanji shook her head and mouthed, “Promoting murder is wrong!” *** 

Hanji was tearing up while Oskar put their things away. He turned around and sighed, “Mila is so bright, so resourceful, and she loves you. She loves you so much and she was raised by you. Levi at least has her ear, too.” He smiled slyly, “And you know that this place is rigged with cameras and he’s had a top notch security system installed now.” She started to laugh shakily, “Shut up and kiss me.”

Oskar took her by the hips and pulled her into him kissing her passionately, “I am so happy to have spent these eight years with you and Mila. I am happy to have been strangely married to you, too.” Hanji and Oskar had gotten married due to a immigration issue with his paper work. They had done it in the most unromantic way and Hanji and Oskar hadn't had rings or anything. It was something he often joked about with her in private and had caused a rather large stir. Especially, with Levi. She hummed, “I am, too. You were sent by God.” He pulled her into his lap as he sat down on the bed, “I’m not so sure about that but I certainly feel blessed.” He kissed her sweetly, moving down her neck and then her collarbone, “Thank you for everything, Han.”

There was a knock on the door and Levi’s voice, “Stop whatever you’re doing. We’re going to get lunch.”

***

Nikko sat on the edge of his bed and picked at the duvet. He was leaving today to move into the apartment in France and Levi appeared at the door, “Erwin?” Nikko shook his head, “Daddy isn’t in here.” Levi frowned, “He’s ridiculous.” Levi turned to leave and then turned back, “When you find someone to spend the rest of your life with, please, try not to pick a ridiculous one. You’ll live longer.” He left and Nikko laughed shortly. He could hear Gisela crying still in the other room. Judah was with her. Ezra found work to do and had held him for a long time in a hug that said everything he wanted to say. 

Nikko got into the car with Eren and Levi to head to the airport. Eren wanted to drive and Levi just let him because it wasn’t that far. “Do we have time for ice cream?” Levi’s head whipped to the side, “We do not.” Eren contemplated it, “If I take the shortcut then-” 

“Ahuvi, I will stab you.” 

Nikko’s eyes widened and Eren gasped, “OUR CHILD IS IN THE BACK!” 

Levi’s brow furrowed, ‘So? He’s grown now.” 

“NO! HE’S STILL A LITTLE BABY!” 

Nikko blushed, “I’d venture I’m a little bit more than a baby.” 

Eren waved his hand, “Hush! You’re not.” 

Levi rolled his eyes, “Get the ice cream. Who cares?” 

Eren hummed, “Now, I kind of want a small fry, too.” Levi sighed loudly in the car, “Really?” Nikko moved in the back, “I think that actually sounds really good right now.” Levi turned to look at him and then to Eren, “Ahuvi, Nikko wants ice cream and a fry. Go to the nearest McDonalds.” Eren sputtered, “NESHAMA! WHY DID YOU TELL ME NO WHEN I WANTED IT!?” Levi took his hand, “Because, you’re not my baby boy.” Nikko groaned, “You two are ridiculous.” 

Levi stroked Nikko’s hair on the plane after he fell asleep. Eren watched, reading his book from time to time, “Brat?” 

“Hmm?” 

“Do you even know how to read?” 

“I do, actually.” 

“Mmmm sounds fake but okay.” 

“I can read and I read often.” 

“I don’t believe you. That book is for show.” 

Eren stuck his tongue out at him and turned a page. 

Levi smirked, “You turned that page to make a point but regret it because you were not done reading it.” 

Eren turned red and turned the page back, “Shut up!” 

*** 

Levi showered Nikko with affection in their apartment in the way only Nikko and Levi could appreciate. He stocked the fridge with vegetarian and kosher food. He had set up a weekly meeting for tennis on the court's near their house. He’d bought him new bedding and blankets that were soft and hypoallergenic. He’d planned a few trips outside of the city with tickets, money, and itineraries stapled to the board with a large calendar and the dates circled. 

Levi did everything in silence and calm. 

Nikko finished his shower and smelled Eren’s cooking in the kitchen, “Mila will be home in an hour. The food will be done then. Nikko, come in here and help me cut these vegetables up.” Nikko did so and tried to squash the feeling in his stomach that soon she’d be there. Soon, Mila would walk through that door and he’d be _living_ with her. 

Levi sat down on the couch and closed his eyes crossing his arms. He couldn’t wait to see Mila either but chose to sit quietly and not make a scene. 

Like father, like son. 

* 

“Today I was at the hospital and we had a lot of kids with measles.” Mila was eating politely and kept up a nice conversation with Eren and Levi. Nikko ate, mostly looking at his food, and occasionally stole glances at her while rarely asking questions to spur her on. Levi watched his son as he nervously pushed his food around while she placed her hand on his arm often in a fit of passion over whatever topic he’d asked her about. 

Eren smiled ear to ear. He nodded his head and Levi scoffed. 

Nikko looked up, “Aba?” 

Levi blinked, “Your….baba want’s dessert right now.” Mila laughed shortly, “I’d love some dessert, honestly. I gave up sugar for a while.” Nikko looked at her, “How was it?” She smiled, “Bad. I really like sugar!” He smiled and Levi suppressed his own strange one. He wished he could be like Nikko again. Young, innocent, and on the edge of the world. Nikko listened more as Eren got up and removed a few pastries from their favorite bakery. 

Mila smiled at Nikko while he blushed. 

That night, Nikko pulled the covers back in his room. He washed his hands, said prayers, and climbed inside of the satin sheets. He closed his eyes but then heard the door open slightly, “Nikko?” She peered in and he sat up. She smiled shyly, “I know you already said prayers so you can’t speak but, I just wanted to tell you I’m really glad you’re moving in. It was getting rather lonely here.” His heart thumped wildly in his chest and she bowed her head slightly before closing the door. 

He couldn’t fall asleep for a long time. 

*** 

She was waiting for him at the door, “First day of school!” Nikko nervously pulled at his backpack strap, “Never really went to a real school if you think about it.” She laughed, “Wow, yeah. You went to day school but it isn't’ the same. But, don’t worry! I’ll show you around and introduce you to a few people you’ll really need to know.” She was beautifully dressed, her hair laid in ringlets down her shoulders, “I have a lunch date with Eric but I’m making dinner tonight here. We can hangout and you can tell me how it all went.” 

They walked to the university and discussed taking public transportation when the weather was poor. He admired the city as they walked. She seemed very talkative and excited, “Here is a shortcut.” He followed her down a few alleyways and then the door opened as they approached, “ENTER YE OF STRONG WILL!” A man was laughing as Mila rolled her eyes, “Jacob, let us in. This is Nikko!” She said it hushed and Jacob appraised him, “This….is _the_ Nikko?” She looked angry and in a warning voice she added, “Stop that! Yes, it is!” 

Jacob shook his hand, “Another surgeon. I welcome you to the club.” Nikko nodded his head, “Hello.” Jacob slapped a hand on his back, “Mila said you were quiet.” 

“She….she did?” 

“Yep. She’s told us all about how you’re a perfect gentleman and talented.” 

“Oh…” 

Mila blushed, “I’ve been really excited about you coming. I guess I’ve annoyed my friends.” 

Jacob went still for a second and his face looked perplexed. He added after a while in a sincere but still tentative manner, “We’re not annoyed.” Nikko felt his neck flush red from the strange exchange as they walked down a hallway into the main lobby of the school. Nikko was going to study in the middle of history. 

Everything was so beautiful. 

“You’re going to love it here, Nikko!” She hugged him and showed him to his anatomy class. 

* 

Nikko was finding the word _love_ to be a little much. 

His classes were challenging and entertaining. He excelled and was considered top of the class. After a few months he had managed to make a reputation for himself among some of his classmates. If you asked about Nikko Ackermann, son of Levi Ackermann the famous plague master, depending on who answered you’d receive a very detailed picture. 

Most would smile softly, brighten a bit around the edges, “He’s so studious and honest. He cannot tell a lie. He’s creative and cares, really cares about people and what he’s doing. I would want him to tell me if I was dying, truly! He saved me in our biology class with the way he broke things down and rationalized it all to me. He’s a friend to everyone, really likable. But, he’s not exactly a talker. He’s shy, contemplative, respectful, polite. Not a bad thing about the guy, really.” 

And then there were those who were very much not a fan of Nikko. “He’s a spineless kiss ass who knows everything. He’s a faggot with OCD. He should have been born a woman. I think he wants to be a woman. He’s a fucking disgrace.” 

Nikko was bullied and often. 

Jacob came by one of the classes and caught the act, “Nikko, I’ve heard you could fight.” Nikko wiped his face in the bathroom. Blood dripping in the sink, “It’s fine.” Jacob leaned against the window, “Do you know the guys?” Nikko paused, “What do you mean?” Jacob shrugged, “What are their names?” Nikko sighed, “Eric, Francoise, Jill, and I don’t know the other one’s and don’t care to learn it.” Jacob smiled, “Let’s meet Mila at the front.” 

As they walked to the front Jacob grabbed a few flyers, “You’ve got testing?” Nikko hummed a yes, “Next week.” Jacob put the papers under his arm, “Let me know if you need anything. First year is a weed out year. It’ll make you nearly break but I’ve made it through and I can help you if Mila can’t or doesn’t have time.” Nikko smiled, “Thank you. That’s very kind of you.” 

“Nikko, have you met Mila’s boyfriend?” 

Nikko hadn’t, “No, he’s a ghost! I’ve been poking fun at her for a while since all I ever hear is Eric this and Eric that.” It pained him but it was dull. He’d given up hope a long time ago. Mila just wasn’t in his future. Jacob snorted, “I’ve met him only once and for less than a minute. He’s very ghost like. He tends to freight when one meets him.” 

Nikko liked Jacob more and more every day, “Would you like to get a beer one day?” Jacob paused, “Are you asking me on a date?” Nikko blushed, “No! I’m so sorry if that’s how you took it. I’m just saying...I don’t have a lot of friends here.” Jacob laughed heartily, “Nikko, it’s cool. I understood. I’d love to right after testing. I have been working nights at the hospital so I’m dead till after testing.” 

Nikko and Jacob spoke more till they ran into Mila in the atrium at the front, “Mila, I’ve brought Nikko to you for deposit. Please return him post hence to us tomorrow morning.” Jacob made everything a little better in Nikko’s opinion. Mila turned around smiling brightly, “I’ll be sure to take the utmost care of our Nikko and return him in pristine condition.” Nikko was still looking shyly at the floor but when he looked up he saw Eric, his bully. Jacob’s body tensed and Nikko understood. 

Of course, Mila would totally be dating a guy who called him a faggot everyday and tried to ruin his pure cultures in lab. Totally made sense. 

Nikko’s stomach clenched, _Oy, these goys._

Eric looked confused. Mila was talking to Jacob but Nikko was preparing for Eric to say something but instead he just looked confused, “So, would you like to eat with Eric and I?” Nikko looked at her and Mila waited patiently. Nikko wanted to do anything to make her happy. But this, “No, I’ll eat at home. Don’t worry about me. Just have fun.” Nikko left quickly and Mila stood looking confused and disappointed. 

* 

Nikko moved on the court. His tennis shoes squeaked. He hit the ball and, “Point!” He relaxed, exhausted. He’d ran away from the confrontation or potential confrontation and had decided to go to his tennis appointment. He put his racket in his bag and walked off to the sidewalk. He called an uber and waited for it to pick him up. His body overexerted from his session and the weather turning off badly. 

He sat in the car with a thud and closed his eyes till his driver lightly touched him, “Monsieur….” 

Nikko had a few missed calls from Ezra and Zev but nothing he couldn't shoot a message off about explaining his busy schedule. He was going to compete for a competitive practicum spot and needed to impress his proctors in the upcoming testing. Nikko opened the door and heard Mila’s voice, “I can’t believe it.” He looked around and noted her things were scattered around the apartment. She was on the phone and he didn’t want to intrude so he went to take a shower. 

In the shower he heard her get louder and louder. He turned it off and grabbed his towel, running out into the living room. A door slammed and she was standing there, her back towards him, “Mila! Are you okay? Who was that?!” Mila hesitated but turned around, “It was Eric. We broke up and he didn’t take it well. Um, Nikko?” Nikko was still standing there soaking wet, “Yes?” 

She looked him up and down quickly and then turned away, “Um, you’re wet and the rug…” 

He looked at the puddle on the floor, “Oh, HaShem! I’m so sorry. Don’t tell aba,” He chuckled and she looked over at him again, “That’s a very small towel.” He grimaced, “Oh, these are the only ones in there.” She looked flustered, “Oh! I’ll get the larger ones.” They moved silently around the apartment for a while until Nikko stopped in front of her, “Would you like dinner?” She sighed, relieved sounding, “Yes, very much.” 

* 

Nikko passed his tests with flying colors. The group of admirers had grown and they were kind and passionate but also had the group of jealous hate mongers. They were angry that a first year was beating out scores of third years. His Ackermann name didn’t make things easier nor did his open religious belief. Nikko wore a kippah everyday and everyday he received a slue of slurs. Mila hated to begin their morning walk to class now that she had a class on the same floor at the same time. 

The things they said were horrible and made her heart hurt. 

Nikko stayed strong and she never heard him complain, not once. 

She met another boy and started going out with him but they promised to have one dinner a week together. Nikko wasn’t going to hold her to it but it seemed that every week he came home for shabbat she was there, food in the kitchen being made, and a soft smile on her face. 

One dinner he sat down and noted her hair was loose and her clothes comfortable, “Nikko?” He grinned, “Yes?” She pulled an envelope from somewhere almost out of nowhere. He opened it and read it, “Mila, I….how?!” Mila clapped her hands, “These placements are hard to get. Welcome to the club!” Mila had received a placement at the hospital just this year, “I always knew you were talented.” He grinned despite himself, “But, Mila, you also got this placement.” She shrugged, “I’ll concede to that fact. But, Nikko, are you happy here?” 

He looked perplexed, “What do you mean?” 

“Are you happy in France?” 

He took a deep breath, “I love it here, truly. If you’re talking about the street chatter then-” 

“They’re threatening me. So what?” 

“They’re cowards.” 

He leaned back, a smirk on his face, “Well, Mila, that was very pointed of you. How long has this bothered you?” She shrugged, “I just…” He grinned, “Listen, I wear this kippah because it speaks for me what I think HaShem would want me to say. I gave up rabbinical school and I sometimes wonder if that was right of me. I think that people who have to acost me over fabric on my head don’t have much going on in their own lives and are lacking in Torah knowledge.” 

She frowned, “Have you been hit?” 

He drank some wine, “I think you’re thinking too much about this. Whether I have or not isn’t the point.” 

She frowned, “It is the point.” 

He didn’t want her upset, “Mila, I’m happy here.” He paused, thinking, “Are you happy here?” 

She was caught off guard, “I am! I’m very happy here.” He smiled, “Then we’re both happy.” She looked at her plate, “Will you do the prayers like uncle Levi did?” She was so soft and innocent. He nodded, “You really want prayers?” She platted more food, “I do. I really do.” It delighted him, “I didn’t know how Jewish you wanted our occasional shabbat observances to be. You don’t have to twist my arm!” 

“I mean, I picked these nights because they were shabbat.” 

He was surprised and made a small choking noise in the back of his throat, “Really?” Mila nodded, “Yeah. I thought it would be easier to ask off for.” Nikko and Mila had a nice night and she asked him for prayers from there on out. 

* 

“Fuck you, Jew!” Nikko walked into the hospital sweating from tennis. He was called in for an emergency, all the residents were. Mila had been let off of her shift. He passed her going on a date. She turned to look at him, a look of worry on her face. She paused, “Nikko?” He waved her off, “Emergency surgery.” She hesitated but left. He’d been pulled in at the last moment more and more since he was so close to the hospital. He didn’t mind. He was leaping over classes and logging more hours than anyone his year. Jacob and he had a standing appointment every week to get a beer and talk about his progress. 

Jacob was friendly but he always kept a wall up no matter what. 

Nikko didn’t push. 

Jacob had noticed this. 

Mila also never pushed. 

“What do we have?” The lead surgeon frowned. He was a tall man, fairly large, and had tan skin with fine lines from years of outdoor sports, “Routine embolism.” Dr. Petit, the surgeon, liked working with Nikko and it hadn’t gone unnoticed by many of the other students. He was a lead in the field. Dr. Petit’s wife was a mystery to many but he’d mentioned her a few times to Nikko while they were preparing for surgery. 

Nikko began washing up while watching the news. More issues were emerging in the world and he felt so unsettled. At the end of the day, all he wanted was to save lives and relax in his parisian apartment with Mila cooking her goyishe version of shabbat dinner. He felt himself smile fully, something he rarely did, “Why did you have to fall in love with a goy, Nikko?’ His voice was full of mirth. The paper towel dispenser echoed as he pulled the last paper from it’s roll. 

* 

The surgery went well and they rolled the patient into the room. Dr. Petit asked him to come to his office, “How old are you?” Nikko blinked, “Just turned nineteen.” Dr. Petit nodded, “God, to be young again. Well, I want to propose something to you. You’re flying through your first year and second year things get a bit lax. I think we make it better for our students because we try to kill them their first year. You have a lot of promise and I’m not going to lie, your name has value. However, would you be willing to skip the second year, take the necessary classes this summer that you simply can’t skip, and then start your third year classes with me as your advisor?” 

Nikko’s mouth was dry, “Yes, yes I’d love that.” Dr. Petit nodded, “You know Mila Zacharias?” Nikko nodded, “She’s in the lab right now and we love her there. She’s a great doctor but she’s really made our lab function at top notch. This summer you’ll work under her for your genetics class.” 

Nikko left and walked home. He noticed in the dark there were people waiting, clinging to the shadows. He kept his head down and grabbed a cab. Sometimes it was better to be safe than sorry. 

* 

* 

He found her, white long sleeved chiffon blouse made by their aunt, her tight black flowing pants that billowed around her feet and high heeled leather boots that she bought in Italy with their other uncles a month ago. 

He walked quickly over the stone floor, missing the planters and other tables in his haste with precision. He sat down and she had her chair turned away, legs crossed at the knee. She inhaled and things were quiet. She knew he was there; he was always involved with things without being so. He was a nobody in his opinion but in others he was just unique like his father, "So, why are you here?" 

He picked at the edge of the table. She had been crying, her eyes still red and green irises hazy. She was so kind and she’d been mistreated by someone who didn’t realize just how precious she was. He would do his best to repair what that foolish boy had done. He realized she’d asked him a question as he’d sat in silence lost in his own thoughts staring at the marble top table in the student’s atrium. 

"What do you mean? I'm here to study." He was self-conscious around her, always had been. She was so beautiful, a lily, something to be cherished. "What have you always wanted to be?" His eyes were just like his father's and she admired how similar he looked to the pictures of Levi's youth. He was a striking image of her memories of a smiling dark haired uncle that she’d always been in love with. 

He answered cautiously, eyes calculating, "A surgeon." She smiled coyly, ducking her chin like he was jesting her, "Oh, come on," she began, her voice heavy with some emotion he couldn't place, "I know that's what you're here for and I know you're a talented up and coming doctor like your father but..." she paused looking at him in serious, she was so deadly serious his breath did not dare leave his chest, "why not a writer?"

Her smile, the one gracing her face from corner to corner slowly and divinely made him duck his head quickly and bashfully, corner of his mouth hinting at a smirk while his eyes did the smiling, "A writer, tch, why would you think I should be a writer?" She wiped her face with a tissue, clearing some loose tears. 

She turned around in her chair and faced him more, "Because you're a poet. You're a soul of words, so many fine words. You speak without speaking, you write the beauty of humanity." He demurred, brow furrowing as he thought about it, "I did always want to be a poet. But, I'm not right for it." She pouted, "How untrue!" He shook his foot, keeping his eyes on the table, "How do you know this thing?"

She bit her lip in hesitation knowing that like father like son this sensitivity could lead to her making him feel embarrassed or shamed. Honesty was always best with their families, "Because I used to read your poems, your stories. I read the things you kept in your room, close to your heart and full of your soul." He nearly choked. He'd written much about her, Mila Zacharias, so much of his true feelings were in his works. She was his divinity and he had lamented his sorrow for years in unrequited solitude, "Why?! How!?" 

He flushed and felt ill. He was scared he’d ruined her picture of him with childish unsafe proclamations. At his age, he knew that writing something was as good as signing one’s own name to the gallows for the crime it became to express love and adoration for someone forbidden. She smiled mischievously, like her mother, it made him nervous, excited in some way he’d never been before. 

He'd always known what his aba had seen in her mother that had attracted him. She said in the way that was truly her, matter of a fact, honestly guilty yet somehow unguilty, "I did not go into your room looking.” She began, each word clear and crisp despite the warble from her past crying, “I was told to."

He gave her a questioning look, so like his father, "Who told you to go inside? I hid them, well not hid but they were not in plain sight for anyone to just find." She looked a little shameful, "Well, uncle Armin and uncle Marco told me to go inside. We used to talk about them together because they read them, too. They found them first. You have such talent, Nikko, a true wonder of our generation!" 

He felt the same feeling his aba must feel when his baba does something meaning well but that causes more embarrassment than anything. They lived with well meaning Fiddler on the Roof wanna be schaedchens and for people like he and his father they were constantly suffocated by love.

"So, Nehemiah,” the use of his full name made the bones in his body quell with energy to hear them from such a seraph’s lips, “why are you here at the Sorbonne when you should be putting ink to paper and not scalpel to bone?" He looked at her, mouth slightly open but he had not enough wetness for his tongue to aid speech. His heart beat inside of his chest like madness and pendulums, _I'm here because this is where you are and I am, and have always been, hopelessly in love with you._ Nehemiah Ackermann’s heart had always beat the name of Mila Zacharias.

***

**A few months later.**

Mila walked inside of his room in the early morning. He opened his eyes and saw her placing his washed clothes in his drawer and he saw she’d cleaned his kippahs and were placing them so they would dry properly. He watched her and noted she seemed off, “Mila? What’s wrong?” She turned around, gasping, “My God, Nikko you scared the shit out of me!” He pulled the cover up higher, “Obviously.” She looked around, “Well, I just did some laundry, that’s all.” 

He looked at her and knew there was more, “And what’s going on today? Are you meeting up with….?” He’d forgotten this boy’s name she was dating. She shook her head, “We’re just not compatible.” He sat up and looked around, “I think I’m not compatible with this bed anymore.” She laughed, “Come on, just move into your parent’s room. They’re not going to mind. You’re in here in a twin bed and I have a queen. It isn’t fair, really.” He asked if she wanted to spend the day at museums and relaxing. They were both off and she agreed. 

[She](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/85/71/5b/85715b62b710801bbf231d648e9254e3.jpg) dressed and so did [he](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/87/ce/d8/87ced8ef0d020e09a22017305b3609d7.jpg). He wondered why she was always so put together in her black and white uniform but then realized he was no better. He loved wearing suits and wore many of them. He liked clean lines and pristine fabrics. The apartment was sterile just the way they liked it. 

They went to see a ballet and then to lunch. It was such a beautiful day they decided to skip the art museum and just enjoy it all. Nikko stopped at a coffee shop filled with tourists while Mila entered a small boutique to pick up something. He loved the sounds of Paris, the springtime had come and gone but it would always live in his mind. She appeared and they walked to a more secluded place to grab wine and cheese. He sat down and turned his phone off, “Am I doing well in your class or should I be at home studying?’ 

She smirked, “I mean, you could always improve.” She looked at his [hand](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/8f/38/6c/8f386cbfb2896631372930a106ec66e3.jpg), “I always wanted to get a tattoo.” He looked totally shocked, “You!? What do you want?!” She played with her hair and kept looking out at the crowds, “I’d like something to do with mermaids.” He knew they were her favorite so he nodded, “I think they’re beautiful.” 

“But, honestly, Nikko. You’re doing so well in the program. It’s amazing. I think that you’re going to push through this third year course work into fourth. Hey, then we’d have classes together more often! After fourth year everyone mixes.” He saw a group from school that taunted him, “I like the sound of that.” She nodded and looked at her phone, ‘Oh, it’s Jacob.” He got a call, too. “Yeah, but he hung up.” 

Mila looked confused and Nikko saw the boys disappear. He cautiously touched his kippah, “Is your wine good?” She took another sip and handed it to him to try, ‘Very.” 

Then there was the sound of tires on the street, screeching, burning rubber, and screams. 

_Pow, pow, pow!_

_The sound of brake screeching._

_Screams._

_The bursting of cement and subsequent dust storm._

Nikko grabbed Mila from across the table pulling her over. Their dishes fell and shattered. He slammed her behind him and tossed her roughly through the door of the building rushing in after her and dragging her on the floor when the car slammed into the tables of the coffee shop and then crashed into the opening of the door, shifting the foundation, stone falling everywhere with smoke choking those cowering inside. 

He was checking her for serious injury while she checked him. He noted her face and the tears, “Can you stand?” She nodded and got up. He looked around and they saw this wasn’t the only car. 

*** 

The event with the car ramming had made them crave the safety of home. Between the hospital and classes, Nikko and Mila only saw each other for very short amounts of time. She’d started seeing someone else and often went across Paris to his flat. Sometimes, she’d wander into his room, what was his parents room, with clothes and little things she’d picked up that she thought would make him smile. 

He often got her flowers and little things as well. 

It was a kind friendship with a lot of love and silent understanding. 

He left for the hospital, her perfume still lingering in the hallway as he walked to the elevator. Nikko called his sister and spoke with her. Gisela was happily chatting away while relaxing at her dorm. Gisela and Aviva had moved to France. He and Mila were still trying to convince them to move in with them. 

“Gisela, can I come by tonight and take you to dinner?” 

Gisela sighed, “Yeah, but don’t freak out when you see me, okay?” 

Nikko went to his shift but all he thought of it the entire time. He took the metro after work and stood among the crowd. Normally it was fine but today he had some harassers. A woman turned her face from him as they yelled. He just blocked it out and listened to a recording of Berkovitch from a few weeks ago. Nikko was missing a simple life as a rabbi at that moment. 

* 

When he saw her he was livid, “Who did this to you?!” She shrugged, “A few girls. They ganged up on me. Things are weird here, brother. A lot of anti semitism lately. Did you know we’re white? Apparently, ethnic Jews are white.” He didn't appreciate the fact that his sister was pointing out what bothered her most when she looked horrible, “You're healing?” She nodded, “Slowly, it was pretty bad.” 

“Aviva?” 

“Not here. I don't want her to know. Can I get ice cream with sprinkles?” He frowned, “You can get a boost of serum and real food first!” 

She pouted, “Do you speak to Mila like this?” He glared, “Stop. Come on. I'm calling a car.” 

“Not a taxi?” 

“No…...not a taxi.” Taxis were not safe in Paris anymore. Women were going missing and the car rammings were heavily related to the taxi service's lack of vetting. She walked slowly, sore and in pain. He wanted to help her but he also wanted to kill those girls. 

They went to a falafel shop near the apartment. She talked about Judah and Zev while eating. She seemed off but he put it on the back burner, “Have you ever wondered why something in our stomach is off around certain people? I've been researching it in my psych classes but still, I've only found that what I feel is not what others feel when they have a “gut feeling.” Because, I get those…..too. Just... this is different.” 

He frowned, “Do you think there is something wrong with us?” She shrugged, “Maybe, Nikko.” He decided there was no way around it, “Politically things are getting worse for people like us here. Mila is constantly on edge because of the things people say and do to me. There are more terror attacks in the city than before. There seems to be issues in the political landscape that is causing economic issues. It’s pretty routine but….” 

She looked at him, “But?” 

“I can feel a calm before the storm.” 

She stared intently, “Yes, I think that’s exactly right. We’re here on the edge of the abyss.” She blinked a tear away, “I hope you’re wrong, though.” He brought her to the apartment to spend the night. It made him feel better knowing she was there. They talked about the hospital and her performances. When Mila arrived she looked tired, “Gigi, you can borrow some of my clothes tomorrow if you want.” 

Gisela was in Nikko’s clothes to sleep in, “Thanks!” She asked Mila if she’d like to do a face mask and Mila agreed. He laid on the couch while the girls spoke and made over each other. He watched Mila’s hands as they smoothed the cream over her face. Mila was so kind, beautiful, and smart. They had been doing charity work together in their free time and after the car ramming he’d noticed her more active politically. 

Mila was the perfect woman. 

*** 

He walked past them from his tennis match. There was a group that always came and watched. He noted their red shoe laces. They followed behind, far enough away to leave if police came but close enough their presence was always felt. He would take different routes to the hospital and his apartment. Today, however, he had to go straight home and get ready for Aviva and Gisela’s performance. Ezra said Zev was coming. He hoped so. 

Mila was calling him, “Hey, I see you! Stop and I’ll come over.” 

“No! Don’t.” 

It was too late, she was crossing the street, “What?” 

He bit his lip, “Nothing. How was your day?” 

She smiled and took his arm as they passed on the crowded sidewalk, “It was….busy. I’m really tired.” He tried to offer her an encouraging look, “How is?” She gave him a reproachful look, “Jon is coming tonight to the event.” He honestly thought she had dated everyone in Paris. Levi would probably flip out if he knew. She always went somewhere once a week that he had been curious about but her right to privacy was worth more than his own curiosity. 

He thought about how un-Smith that was and smirked. 

She leaned her head on his shoulder and they made it to their apartment. He opened the door and let her go inside before him. She grabbed his hand, “I….I had a long day.” He looked at her hand and his heart thumped in his chest, “What happened?” She looked him in the eye and it was serious, “Just let me be weird and don’t judge me.” She laughed nervously and he grinned, “Okay. Hey, wanna watch some cartoons in comfortable clothes till we just have to get ready?” She snorted, “I have to start getting ready waaaay before you. I’m a girl.” 

He sighed, “Yeah….aren’t all of our visiting family in their apartments and rooms, too?” She nodded, “Yeah but at least our apartment is known for being the quiet one and people have to leave us alone. Or else!” He held her hand till they got in the apartment. He could hear Zev snoring. She changed into her dress and fixed her hair. He walked into the living room and she was there, touching her make up up. He watched in awe as she changed her perfect features ever so slightly making them even more appealing. 

She looked at her [dress](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/bd/53/4f/bd534fd9a31d3443010bcba51de6edf7.jpg), “Is it too much?” He shook his head, “No, it’s you. You’re so colorful and interesting.” She laughed nervously, “Boring, Nikko! I’m _boring._ ” He didn’t think so, “Just because you’re not out there raising hell doesn’t make you boring.” She waved him off, “No, I’m pretty plain. I just care about science and studying and being the best doctor I can be.” 

He dressed slower as she told him all about the promising research she was doing. When he was finished they met at the door. She fixed his tie, “You’ve always known how to dress.” [He](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a5/2e/0a/a52e0a3917376a387c5bfce20f6059f6.jpg) blushed, “Thank you.” She had a certain smell, “That’s not your usual perfume.” She frowned, “I ran out of mine and I borrowed it from Clemance in the lab.” He kept looking at her wrist, “You really don’t care for it, do you?” 

He pulled back a bit, “No, I’m sorry.” She snorted softly, “You don’t have to be sorry. I’m glad you told me. No one else would. I care if you like it or not.” He swallowed, his throat dry, “You...care?” He whispered and she looked at him, “Yeah.” Her reply was so soft he thought he dreamed it. 

There was a knock on the door and it was Zev, “HEY! YOUR MOST FAVORITE PRINCE OF FUN IS HERE! COME ON!” She leaned forward and kissed his cheek, “God help us.” She opened the door and he stood there, wires misfiring. Mila had kissed his cheek as an adult. He’d never wash this cheek again. 

_Yuck, I’ll definitely wash my face. Gross._

* 

Mila had danced with Jon all night. She came to Nikko to give him his coat back, “It’ll be cold. Don’t get sick or I can’t let you into surgery.” He was drunk and sweaty. She was too, “You’re eyes are so beautiful.” She blushed, “Bye. Lyla Tov. (Good night)” He was pulled away and she found Jon, holding his hand. 

* 

“Touch me.” Her hand guided his between her legs. He gasped, “Mila?” She bit her bottom lip, cheeks pink and lip red. Her navy floral dress, tznius and appropriate for all rules of modesty, gathered between her legs with his hand pressed firmly against her sex, “Nikko, touch me.” Her breathy plea made him hot and extremely hard. He swallowed and moved closer. She pressed her head against his and moaned suddenly, shortly, a gasp really. 

He massaged her and then moved his lips down to kiss her. She was so sweet and supple. His chest heaved, free hand moved up her back. She moaned again, softer, “Nikko, I…..” She looked him in the eye, “I-” 

He woke up. 

She wasn’t there. 

His cock ached. 

He was sticky with sweat. 

“Mila.” He said her name first and felt guilty. He should speak HaShem’s name first. But, always, it was her name. 

He dialed a number, “Aba?” 

Levi had been asleep himself, a nap maybe, “Mmhm?” 

This was common between them, “What’s the first thing you think aloud or say aloud, the very first thought you have….a conscious thought every morning or every time you wake?” 

Levi hummed. 

There was a beat of silence. 

“ _Eren_.” 

* 

Gisela appeared, “I feel like something bad is going to happen.” She started to turn pink and he knew it was an attack, “To whom?” She sat down and started to hyperventilate. He held her while she choked on sobs, “Nikko, I’m scared. I’m so scared.” 

He pulled her in the bed with him and held her tightly, “Lay us down to sleep, Lord our God, in peace, raise us erect, our King, to life; spread over us the sukkah of Your peace. Set us aright with good counsel from before Your Presence, and save us for Your Name’s sake. Shield us, remove from us foe, plague, sword, famine, and woe; and remove spiritual impediment from before us and behind us and shelter us in the shadow of Your wings for God who protects and rescues us are You; for God, the Gracious and Compassionate King, are You. Safeguard our going and coming – for life and for peace from now to eternity. Blessed are You, Lord, Guardian of Israel for always.” 

It always had made her feel better and he said it so well that she only wanted him when she needed comforting. “You should be a rabbi.” She choked out the words and he smiled, “Missed that train, I think.” He started to move them, gently rocking. He hummed the songs of their people like aba did. He tried to suppress the truth. If Gisela saw it, it was true. Darker days were upon them.

* 

“Mila is in the hospital!?” Aviva screeched, “Room number?!” She put the phone in her purse and pulled on shoes. Her feet screamed and so did she. She rushed past Gisela who was coming in, hair wet from a shower, “Hospital, Mila, now!” Gisela threw on clothes and they went outside of their dorm to get a cab. She was panting as they got in the car, “We need to make a stop at-” 

Aviva handed him the address and Gisela fumbled with the phone to call Nikko. 

* 

“Fracture to the ankle. Bruising and swelling around her stomach and organs. Her face, jaw specifically, has a small hairline fracture and the blunt force made her blind for a while but her sight is returning….she-” 

Nikko looked at her through the glass after the doctor left. Gisela and Aviva were inside with her, holding her hand. Nikko’s eye twitched and he found it impossible to repress the part of him that wanted nothing but revenge. 

* 

“They followed her to your house and said they were attacking her because she was a dirty whore who….fucked Jews.” The police officer really didn’t like using foul language and he hated that a young woman had been so violently accosted. Nikko looked at the testimony of the man that had been caught. He wanted to see his picture. Nikko grimaced. 

* 

He showed up to his tennis match on time. His body was taut and the twitch in his eye wouldn’t go away. His coach noticed and looked over at a man leaning on the fence around the court. There, in the shadows, two groups of men waited. Nikko grit his teeth as he hit the ball, back and forth over the net. 

He hit much harder than normal. It made him cringe thinking he was giving himself away. His coach stopped, stood up, and grinned, “Today, is the day.” Nikko paused, he straightened himself up, ‘What?” His coach knocked his racket against his thigh, “Today we see what we were hoping to see.” The man at the fence whistled and Nikko recoiled, “My name is Jacob, it’s okay. Come over.” 

Nikko gave a scrupulous look and walked over. The group in the shadows appeared, too. “My name is Jacob.” 

“My name is Jacob.” 

“My name is Jacob.” 

Nikko was cautious, “All of you are Jacob?” They nodded, “And you’re Nehemiah Lev Ackermann.” 

Nikko dead panned, “And your pronunciation is horrendous.” 

They all laughed, “What if we told you we’re interested in hiring you and we know more about what happened to Mila than the police do?” 

Nikko’s body was on fire, “What do you know?!” 

“That we’ve got an issue with white nationalism in this country and the police are facilitating it. Let me guess, one man was caught. He’s in jail right now. A few months and he’ll be tried. You were not allowed to meet him or see him?” 

Nikko was still staring and the man held up a picture, “And this was him.” 

Nikko’s eye widened slightly, “Yes.” 

“No, it wasn’t him because this is an undercover designated cop who they use in situations like this. See, the thing is, they donate large sums to the police and there are key right politicians in power and coming to power now in the government. The police are divided into two categories: those who support fully and facilitate the right and those who are against them but stay silent to protect themselves.” 

Nikko didn’t know what that had to do with him, “Why are you telling me this?” 

“Because we think you’re who we need to get rid of a few key targets. You’re incredibly smart, talented, excellent ability to go unnoticed, and you’re Jewish. Shouldn’t it be enough?” Nikko knew he shouldn’t. The Jacobs took him to a shop where the back room was a cafe. They seemed to think it was safe to talk there and after a few hours Nikko was putting more and more together, “My friend, Jacob, he’s one of you?” 

His coach smiled, “Who do you think recommended you. We work on references, mostly. We watch and evaluate.” 

”Who are you?” 

“Foreign Legion.” 

Nikko took a deep breath and a shot, “I’ll do it if you let me get the people who hurt her.” They all seemed more than pleased, “Can you do it?” He was unreadable, “Yes.” They seemed surprised but they needed to test him anyway, “Jacob will meet you behind the school in three days. He’ll go with you and then assist you. This is your test. You know that as long as you belong to us all your crimes are absolved least you violate the terms of the legion?” 

“Yes.” 

“You should also know that becoming a double agent is not an option. We know that you have connections to aman.” 

Nikko looked them, “It’s not a problem.” 

“It better not be.” 

* 

Mila was at home now and healed physically. She wasn’t doing so well mentally and often studied in her room. She took the taxi to and from school and sometimes slept over night at the hospital. Her boyfriend had broken up with her and now she was devoted to her work. He started bringing her food. She barely spoke lately but he didn’t mind. He just needed to see her. 

He went to class before and had sat down with Jacob, “When we go out for a beer tonight, I think I’m going to get lit.” Jacob had a glint in his eye, “Me too!” He’d told Nikko all he needed to know but seemed more than happy that Nikko had spearheaded everything on his own. He was such a reserved guy and no matter how much someone pushed on him he stayed polite and calm. Mila clearly was his trigger. 

He showed up at the lab after that class to work with her on his final project. She was sleepy and yawned a lot. He sat down next to her, “What are you doing this weekend?” She looked over at him, “Nothing, just maybe some paperwork.” He leaned forward, coyly, “You should say “I’m going with you, Nikko, to Italy” because that’s what I’m asking you to do with me.” It was on the calendar, two tickets. Levi had hoped he’d ask Mila. “Oh? Are you asking me to go?” He smiled, “Please?” 

“I’d love to go.” 

“Then be sure to pack and prepare.” 

She looked at him, “What are you doing tonight?” He looked surprised, “I’m actually busy.” She frowned for a second, “Oh, never mind then.” He wanted to tell her he was getting revenge for the pain she’d been put through. He wanted to comfort her. “Are you busy tomorrow?” She cringed, “Yeah, sorry.” He had a thought, “Fridays, you’re always busy in the morning. What do you do?” 

She sputtered, “Ha, um, I just….it’s personal.” 

He grimaced, “Mila, I’m sorry. I never meant to pry!” She laughed, “You’re so easy, Nikko.” He leaned closer and she didn’t pull away. Her perfume was the same again, “What are you working on?” She didn’t say anything for a while, “Just the same old same old. I wonder if we’ll ever come up with anything useful.” He rested his face in his hand, “You don’t want to be a doctor. You just want to do research like your mother.” She looked at him, “I want to do it all.” 

He opened his phone, “I think we should get something to eat and work really hard.” She giggled, “Food will solve all problems.” 

* 

Nikko finished his cigaret when Jacob walked up, “Surgeons should know better than to smoke!” Nikko and Judah never really kicked the habit but for them, their lungs would just keep healing. There really wasn’t an issue save for second hand smoke. He looked at the building, “I heard from a boy down the street that the parties in this building are insane.” Jacob stared, “Really? And that tells you what?” Nikko looked at him, “That this would have been a good place to get some drugs.” That really surprised Jacob and he didn’t know what to do other than laugh. 

Nikko and he entered and checked the plate listing tenants. They didn’t need to. They knew where to go. Jacob was curious to see what Nikko figured out or didn’t figure out. He got to the door and knocked. A guy opened it, beer in his hand and confused look on his face. He then smiled, “Heil Hitler!” Nikko smiled, “Heil Hitler.” He saluted him and the guy burst into drunken laughter. Nikko pulled up his scarf around his face and kicked him in the crotch before slamming his face into the wall. Nose breaking, blood spewing out. 

He entered and grabbed a baseball bat that was kept at the door. Nikko moved quickly and it was a bloodbath. Jacob was actually terrified. Did Mila know this lurked within her sensitive Nikko? 

He left one man alive and strapped to a chair. He lit a cigaret, “Who gives you money?” The man was bleeding and swollen. His eye fully closed, “Kike.” He spat and Nikko blew smoke in his face as he leaned up, “You don’t seriously think you can call me a kike and everything goes your way? You beat an innocent woman.” 

“She isn’t innocent.” 

“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. Who supports you?” 

He wished Gisela was here. She’d somehow have it out of him in seconds. He finished his cigaret, “I haven’t got the time for this.” Jacob watched, slightly afraid. He really didn’t have the time and seemed annoyed at every second that passed. 

“Madame Penen.” 

Jacob recorded him and took ahold of Nikko’s sleeve, “Go home. I’ve got it from here.’ Nikko stared at him, “You don’t want me to hear anymore, do you?” Jacob gave a wry smile, “No, but it’s not what you think. Go home.” Nikko made his way into the bathroom and hurriedly washed his hands while Jacob questioned the man. A few other undercover officers appeared and kept their heads down. He made his way outside into the chill air and decided to walk home. 

When he got to his house he noted the lights on on his floor. 

She was sitting on the couch as he walked in. Her eyes moist, “Hey, will you….do you want to sit with me?” He nodded but kept on heading to his room, “I need a shower first.” She blushed and he didn’t understand why. It was quick and efficient. He pulled on a shirt and boxers. He wasn’t feeling like wrapping himself in layers. 

She was in a blanket and seemed a bit off, “Is everything okay, Mila?” She fixed her face and brought her cover up higher over her shoulder, “I’m good, I just was stressed out and watched a sad movie. But…” she gave him a probing look, “I guess you’re having a great night.” He looked at her, dumbfounded, “I don’t understand.” 

She sighed exasperatedly, “Nikko, come on.” He kept staring, ‘What?” She rolled her eyes, “You come home, face flushed, color in your cheeks, smelling like sweat, and you say you need to take a shower?” He kept staring, just like his father. “Who is she?” His face lit up, “She?! No! You’ve got it wrong. I played a match with a friend at a gym and then walked home.” 

He hated lying. 

She looked ashamed, “Oh, I’m sorry!” 

He pushed her and she giggled, “Stop!” He pushed her again, “I’m getting a beer. You want one?” She had a mischievous look in her eye, “Yeah, and the vodka.” 

* 

They watched TV and drank. He looked over at her, “Let me in.” He pulled at her blanket and she opened it, “Okay, but only if you keep me warm.” He let her wrap her arms around him, “Who are you dating now?’ She seemed almost hollow when she answered, “His name is Daniel.” He looked at her hands as they tried to grab the remote, “When did he become your boyfriend?” 

“Yesterday.” 

“Oh.” 

Mila left the remote alone, “Will you read some of your poems to me?” 

He was shy, “I….I…” 

“Sorry, you don’t have to.” 

*** 

She pressed her face into his chest, “I have to leave soon.” He woke up just when she did, “I don’t want you to go.” He meant it. She didn’t dare breathe, “I’ll come back afterwards. We can read or sit on the windowsill and drink coffee.” He held her tightly, “Mila, what is bothering you?” She sat up, “I’m fine. Just leave it alone.” She left the couch and got dressed to go somewhere nice but didn’t wash her face or anything. He thought that was very strange, “Please come back soon.” Her hand stayed by the handle, “Okay.” 

He smiled, “I’m sorry. I’m needy.” 

She smiled but he couldn’t see, ‘Nothing wrong with that.” 

*** 

The phone rang. 

“What was my father like? Tell me again. I don't want to ask mom. It makes her sad.” 

A deep breath followed by a long sigh, “He was tall, blond, big guy. He smirked a lot and was pretty reserved.” 

She wiped her face, “More.” 

There was something like shifting in sheets, “He told us one time that he refused to sexualize his daughter. He wanted her to be a kid and be innocent. He would smile and carry you around. Sometimes he'd play hide and seek with you but he'd do it because you needed to be distracted.” 

”From what?” 

He laughed shortly, “Me. He'd do it when you wanted to see me. He was probably annoyed at me all the time.” 

”Why?” 

Levi sighed, “Because you and your mother were always close to me.” 

She started to cry but composed herself, “Did he leave because of me?” 

Levi sat up in the bed, “He left because he was made to leave, Mila. He never wanted to leave you. Your mother and you were his world.” 

She cried a little and his heart broke, “You think he's dead?” 

Levi didn't know how to answer that, “I think that he is merely because of the amount of time that has passed.” 

Mila looked at the marble counter with products to trim her nails and clean herself of impurities, “How do you mourn someone like that?” He was caught off guard by that question, “What do you mean?” She took a shuddering breath, “Did anyone ever say kaddish for him for a year?” 

Levi’s breath hitched. “No,” he said the words slowly, “because we did not know he was dead and your mother isn't Jewish so she wouldn't have. I am not obligated. If you were Jewish then you would be but you'd have been excused because of your age.” She sobbed, “I have sinned.” 

He paused, “But, if you want to say it now you can. You can do whatever you want. If you think he is dead and if it will help then you can.” Levi was feeling so many emotions at that moment he had no idea where to begin. 

She closed her eyes, “Just between you and me.” He smiled, “Just between you and me.” 

They hung up. 

They'd been having private conversations since she was little. He felt so strange as he turned to Eren in bed and reached out to touch him. “I want to go to Paris.” Eren kissed his fingertips, “Okay. Just let me grab a shower.” Levi kissed him, “You're my first thought and my last one everyday.” 

Eren smiled, “I love you.”


	175. Our little secret

[Mila](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/89/c5/c7/89c5c7cfaa7bde72c490c6a19f731877.jpg) and [Nikko](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/d8/bd/fe/d8bdfef9655717fb1ee2d2abc89c93e4.jpg)

**************************************** 

The buzz echoed in the room from the tattoo gun, “This is a nice idea. Brothers should always stick together.” Nikko stared at the ceiling and Judah moaned, “You’re a freak.” Ilya laughed, “A freak like me.” Judah leaned his head to the side, “It feels so fucking good.” Nikko closed his eyes and focused on the pain of the tattoo. When Ilya wiped the ink away on Judah’s arm he turned to look at Maxim who was doing Nikko’s, “How is it, Nehemiah?” 

Nikko opened his eyes, ‘It’s perfect.”

*

Judah was looking at this girl across from them in the bar like he could eat her, “I could use a fuck.” Nikko snorted into his beer and then he nodded, “She’s cute. But, she doesn’t hold a candle to some of the women we know.” Judah chuckled, “I’ve got drugs.”

”You normally do.”

”Come to the bathroom with me.”

“I shouldn’t.”

“Come.”

“Rebecca...she’d not-”

Judah turned to him, “I don’t understand why you’re dating that tight ass! Come on, live a little.”

Judah pulled his face towards his, “Brother, you’re leaving soon. Have fun and live a little with me. You know without you I’m just going to be alone and abandoned with Ezra. He’s always smiling.” Nikko and he started to chuckle. Nikko’s voice was low and comical, “Yeah, what’s up with that guy? Always fucking smiling and laughing.” Judah smirked, “Doesn't he know we’re supposed to be depressed?” Nikko grinned while Judah kissed him chastely, “Come to the bathroom. Let it out.” 

Nikko started, “What?”

Judah pulled back, “There’s a reason that you always loved watching Gisela and Aviva dance in Swan Lake. You and Gigi, you two are both the white and black swans.”

Judah moved off the bar stool, “Come on, NIkko. It’s time to lose yourself.”

***

Rebecca wore only modest clothing, she didn’t cuss, she was orthodox, and she was studious and a little, “When we graduate from Yeshiva and get two separate apartments, then we’ll look for work and get engaged. Then we’ll get married in the fall and have at least four kids, maybe eight.” She went on and on and on and-

“You know, I think that you should join me in cutting ties with some people that will only hold us back from becoming closer to God and-” Nikko had had enough, “Rebecca? Are you telling me that you have our lives planned out?” She turned around with her text book open in front of her, “Of course! We have to follow everything to the T. We can’t leave things to chance.” Her sister was uncomfortable in the room. Nikko stared, sitting on her bed. He wiped his hands down his face and started a low, but gradually increasing in pitch, groan of frustration.

She turned around as he stood up and threw things off of her little side table, “NO!”

She stood up, “No?! WHAT?!”

He looked at her, “NO! NO TO THIS! I’m not doing this anymore, Rebecca! Two years of you telling me what to do and how and now you’re planning everything and it’s just a trap. I’m young! I want to go out and fuck girls with long fingernails and red lipstick. I’M DONE!”

Rebecca was known for always guilting him to stay with her. He’d tried to break away before. Handsome Jewish boys like Nikko were hard to come by. She started to cry, sob really. “NIKKO! 

He left and her mother drug behind him hanging onto his legs. Nikko had hives on his chest. He couldn't breathe. He walked home knowing his car would be picked up later. He had to get home. 

In the privacy of his bathroom he made decisions. Judah sat on the bed with Ezra till it seemed he'd never emerge. Ezra went to work and Zev appeared, eyes traveling the length of Judah’s napping form, “You're such a little hottie demon.” 

Judah opened one eye, “Fuck off.” Zev sat down by his side and then covered him with his body moving him into a cuddling position, “Get the fuck off!” Zev buried his face in his neck, “We both know you don't mean that.” Judah’s breath was caught in his throat as Zev’s hand moved up and down his stomach. 

The door opened and Zev turned his head. Judah struggled to get out of the compromising situation. “Damn, Nikko.” Nikko had shaved and cut his hair into a mohawk. He looked like a punk, “I don't ever want to go back to the Nikko that wanted to marry her. My God, there has to be more.” 

Zev laughed loudly and moved off the bed to slap a hand on his shoulder. He smiled brightly, “Let's go raise hell, just you and me.” Judah pouted. 

* 

The music was loud and Nikko danced till he was covered in sweat. Zev tossed back a beer rather quickly, watching him. He joined in and soon they were lost. Both of them afraid of the future and running from someone and something. 

Neither wanted to ask the other what was wrong. They had always been of similar mind. 

* 

He found her, white long sleeved chiffon blouse made by their aunt, her tight black flowing pants that billowed around her feet and high heeled leather boots that she bought in Italy with their other uncles a month ago. 

He walked quickly over the stone floor, missing the planters and other tables in his haste with precision. He sat down and she had her chair turned away, legs crossed at the knee. She inhaled and things were quiet. She knew he was there; he was always involved with things without being so. He was a nobody in his opinion but in others he was just unique like his father, "So, why are you here?" 

He picked at the edge of the table. She had been crying, her eyes still red and green irises hazy. She was so kind and she’d been mistreated by someone who didn’t realize just how precious she was. He would do his best to repair what that foolish boy had done. He realized she’d asked him a question as he’d sat in silence lost in his own thoughts staring at the marble top table in the student’s atrium. 

"What do you mean? I'm here to study." He was self-conscious around her, always had been. She was so beautiful, a lily, something to be cherished. "What have you always wanted to be?" His eyes were just like his father's and she admired how similar he looked to the pictures of Levi's youth. He was a striking image of her memories of a smiling dark haired uncle that she’d always been in love with. 

He answered cautiously, eyes calculating, "A surgeon." She smiled coyly, ducking her chin like he was jesting her, "Oh, come on," she began, her voice heavy with some emotion he couldn't place, "I know that's what you're here for and I know you're a talented up and coming doctor like your father but..." she paused looking at him in serious, she was so deadly serious his breath did not dare leave his chest, "why not a writer?"

Her smile, the one gracing her face from corner to corner slowly and divinely made him duck his head quickly and bashfully, corner of his mouth hinting at a smirk while his eyes did the smiling, "A writer, tch, why would you think I should be a writer?" She wiped her face with a tissue, clearing some loose tears. 

She turned around in her chair and faced him more, "Because you're a poet. You're a soul of words, so many fine words. You speak without speaking, you write the beauty of humanity." He demurred, brow furrowing as he thought about it, "I did always want to be a poet. But, I'm not right for it." She pouted, "How untrue!" He shook his foot, keeping his eyes on the table, "How do you know this thing?"

She bit her lip in hesitation knowing that like father like son this sensitivity could lead to her making him feel embarrassed or shamed. Honesty was always best with their families, "Because I used to read your poems, your stories. I read the things you kept in your room, close to your heart and full of your soul." He nearly choked. He'd written much about her, Mila Zacharias, so much of his true feelings were in his works. She was his divinity and he had lamented his sorrow for years in unrequited solitude, "Why?! How!?" 

He flushed and felt ill. He was scared he’d ruined her picture of him with childish unsafe proclamations. At his age, he knew that writing something was as good as signing one’s own name to the gallows for the crime it became to express love and adoration for someone forbidden. She smiled mischievously, like her mother, it made him nervous, excited in some way he’d never been before. 

He'd always known what his aba had seen in her mother that had attracted him. She said in the way that was truly her, matter of a fact, honestly guilty yet somehow unguilty, "I did not go into your room looking.” She began, each word clear and crisp despite the warble from her past crying, “I was told to."

He gave her a questioning look, so like his father, "Who told you to go inside? I hid them, well not hid but they were not in plain sight for anyone to just find." She looked a little shameful, "Well, uncle Armin and uncle Marco told me to go inside. We used to talk about them together because they read them, too. They found them first. You have such talent, Nikko, a true wonder of our generation!" 

He felt the same feeling his aba must feel when his baba does something meaning well but that causes more embarrassment than anything. They lived with well meaning Fiddler on the Roof wanna be schaedchens and for people like he and his father they were constantly suffocated by love.

"So, Nehemiah,” the use of his full name made the bones in his body quell with energy to hear them from such a seraph’s lips, “why are you here at the Sorbonne when you should be putting ink to paper and not scalpel to bone?" He looked at her, mouth slightly open but he had not enough wetness for his tongue to aid speech. His heart beat inside of his chest like madness and pendulums, _I'm here because this is where you are and I am, and have always been, hopelessly in love with you._ Nehemiah Ackermann’s heart had always beat the name of Mila Zacharias.

***

[Mila](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/cd/d3/75/cdd37527179e4b054982c2e132025050.jpg) had come to France with her mother, Levi, and Oskar when she was eighteen. She had been frightened and excited at the same time. Levi had tears in his eyes, “We had the floor renovated and the other apartments but I want you in our apartment. It’s important to me.” She held his hand, “Of course. I’ll do whatever you want.” Levi opened the apartment elevator door with his key and then he led them to the original apartment, “Remember when we all had to share one?” He snorted, “I do.”

The apartment was still the same as she remembered but she noticed a large bow on the room David and Mikasa normally used. He smiled shyly, “I had it renovated just for you.” She hugged him, “You didn’t have to.” He was so touched, he held her tightly, “Of course I did, Mila. I love you so much.” She opened the door and squealed, “OH! How did you know!? I love it!” Her [room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/01/54/86/015486f32164500f9392630bad1606dc.jpg) was very boho. She loved the style but since she wanted to be seen as a smart and up and coming doctor she didn’t let that be known to many. Levi smiled, “Perhaps, you should stop dressing so stuffy and be your true bohemian self?” 

Levi hated how hard she was on herself and the pressure she put on herself. She wanted to impress them so badly. She was determined, studious, controlled. These were all things that were good, but not to the extent that she took them to. She needed to let loose a bit and be more comfortable in her own skin, “Mila, you know that if you ever need anything, anything, call me and ask. If you need me to get you out of jail, if you….if you do anything I will be there and I will be there by your side and defend you till the end.” She started to chuckle, “Even if I kill someone?” He didn’t drop his face, “Yeah.”

She looked at him and then started laughing again, “You’re so weird, uncle Levi.”

He was awkward when he smiled. 

She hugged him and he sighed while Hanji shook her head and mouthed, “Promoting murder is wrong!” *** 

Hanji was tearing up while Oskar put their things away. He turned around and sighed, “Mila is so bright, so resourceful, and she loves you. She loves you so much and she was raised by you. Levi at least has her ear, too.” He smiled slyly, “And you know that this place is rigged with cameras and he’s had a top notch security system installed now.” She started to laugh shakily, “Shut up and kiss me.”

Oskar took her by the hips and pulled her into him kissing her passionately, “I am so happy to have spent these eight years with you and Mila. I am happy to have been strangely married to you, too.” Hanji and Oskar had gotten married due to a immigration issue with his paper work. They had done it in the most unromantic way and Hanji and Oskar hadn't had rings or anything. It was something he often joked about with her in private and had caused a rather large stir. Especially, with Levi. She hummed, “I am, too. You were sent by God.” He pulled her into his lap as he sat down on the bed, “I’m not so sure about that but I certainly feel blessed.” He kissed her sweetly, moving down her neck and then her collarbone, “Thank you for everything, Han.”

There was a knock on the door and Levi’s voice, “Stop whatever you’re doing. We’re going to get lunch.”

***

Nikko sat on the edge of his bed and picked at the duvet. He was leaving today to move into the apartment in France and Levi appeared at the door, “Erwin?” Nikko shook his head, “Daddy isn’t in here.” Levi frowned, “He’s ridiculous.” Levi turned to leave and then turned back, “When you find someone to spend the rest of your life with, please, try not to pick a ridiculous one. You’ll live longer.” He left and Nikko laughed shortly. He could hear Gisela crying still in the other room. Judah was with her. Ezra found work to do and had held him for a long time in a hug that said everything he wanted to say. 

Nikko got into the car with Eren and Levi to head to the airport. Eren wanted to drive and Levi just let him because it wasn’t that far. “Do we have time for ice cream?” Levi’s head whipped to the side, “We do not.” Eren contemplated it, “If I take the shortcut then-” 

“Ahuvi, I will stab you.” 

Nikko’s eyes widened and Eren gasped, “OUR CHILD IS IN THE BACK!” 

Levi’s brow furrowed, ‘So? He’s grown now.” 

“NO! HE’S STILL A LITTLE BABY!” 

Nikko blushed, “I’d venture I’m a little bit more than a baby.” 

Eren waved his hand, “Hush! You’re not.” 

Levi rolled his eyes, “Get the ice cream. Who cares?” 

Eren hummed, “Now, I kind of want a small fry, too.” Levi sighed loudly in the car, “Really?” Nikko moved in the back, “I think that actually sounds really good right now.” Levi turned to look at him and then to Eren, “Ahuvi, Nikko wants ice cream and a fry. Go to the nearest McDonalds.” Eren sputtered, “NESHAMA! WHY DID YOU TELL ME NO WHEN I WANTED IT!?” Levi took his hand, “Because, you’re not my baby boy.” Nikko groaned, “You two are ridiculous.” 

Levi stroked Nikko’s hair on the plane after he fell asleep. Eren watched, reading his book from time to time, “Brat?” 

“Hmm?” 

“Do you even know how to read?” 

“I do, actually.” 

“Mmmm sounds fake but okay.” 

“I can read and I read often.” 

“I don’t believe you. That book is for show.” 

Eren stuck his tongue out at him and turned a page. 

Levi smirked, “You turned that page to make a point but regret it because you were not done reading it.” 

Eren turned red and turned the page back, “Shut up!” 

*** 

Levi showered Nikko with affection in their apartment in the way only Nikko and Levi could appreciate. He stocked the fridge with vegetarian and kosher food. He had set up a weekly meeting for tennis on the court's near their house. He’d bought him new bedding and blankets that were soft and hypoallergenic. He’d planned a few trips outside of the city with tickets, money, and itineraries stapled to the board with a large calendar and the dates circled. 

Levi did everything in silence and calm. 

Nikko finished his shower and smelled Eren’s cooking in the kitchen, “Mila will be home in an hour. The food will be done then. Nikko, come in here and help me cut these vegetables up.” Nikko did so and tried to squash the feeling in his stomach that soon she’d be there. Soon, Mila would walk through that door and he’d be _living_ with her. 

Levi sat down on the couch and closed his eyes crossing his arms. He couldn’t wait to see Mila either but chose to sit quietly and not make a scene. 

Like father, like son. 

* 

“Today I was at the hospital and we had a lot of kids with measles.” Mila was eating politely and kept up a nice conversation with Eren and Levi. Nikko ate, mostly looking at his food, and occasionally stole glances at her while rarely asking questions to spur her on. Levi watched his son as he nervously pushed his food around while she placed her hand on his arm often in a fit of passion over whatever topic he’d asked her about. 

Eren smiled ear to ear. He nodded his head and Levi scoffed. 

Nikko looked up, “Aba?” 

Levi blinked, “Your….baba want’s dessert right now.” Mila laughed shortly, “I’d love some dessert, honestly. I gave up sugar for a while.” Nikko looked at her, “How was it?” She smiled, “Bad. I really like sugar!” He smiled and Levi suppressed his own strange one. He wished he could be like Nikko again. Young, innocent, and on the edge of the world. Nikko listened more as Eren got up and removed a few pastries from their favorite bakery. 

Mila smiled at Nikko while he blushed. 

That night, Nikko pulled the covers back in his room. He washed his hands, said prayers, and climbed inside of the satin sheets. He closed his eyes but then heard the door open slightly, “Nikko?” She peered in and he sat up. She smiled shyly, “I know you already said prayers so you can’t speak but, I just wanted to tell you I’m really glad you’re moving in. It was getting rather lonely here.” His heart thumped wildly in his chest and she bowed her head slightly before closing the door. 

He couldn’t fall asleep for a long time. 

*** 

She was waiting for him at the door, “First day of school!” Nikko nervously pulled at his backpack strap, “Never really went to a real school if you think about it.” She laughed, “Wow, yeah. You went to day school but it isn't’ the same. But, don’t worry! I’ll show you around and introduce you to a few people you’ll really need to know.” She was beautifully dressed, her hair laid in ringlets down her shoulders, “I have a lunch date with Eric but I’m making dinner tonight here. We can hangout and you can tell me how it all went.” 

They walked to the university and discussed taking public transportation when the weather was poor. He admired the city as they walked. She seemed very talkative and excited, “Here is a shortcut.” He followed her down a few alleyways and then the door opened as they approached, “ENTER YE OF STRONG WILL!” A man was laughing as Mila rolled her eyes, “Jacob, let us in. This is Nikko!” She said it hushed and Jacob appraised him, “This….is _the_ Nikko?” She looked angry and in a warning voice she added, “Stop that! Yes, it is!” 

Jacob shook his hand, “Another surgeon. I welcome you to the club.” Nikko nodded his head, “Hello.” Jacob slapped a hand on his back, “Mila said you were quiet.” 

“She….she did?” 

“Yep. She’s told us all about how you’re a perfect gentleman and talented.” 

“Oh…” 

Mila blushed, “I’ve been really excited about you coming. I guess I’ve annoyed my friends.” 

Jacob went still for a second and his face looked perplexed. He added after a while in a sincere but still tentative manner, “We’re not annoyed.” Nikko felt his neck flush red from the strange exchange as they walked down a hallway into the main lobby of the school. Nikko was going to study in the middle of history. 

Everything was so beautiful. 

“You’re going to love it here, Nikko!” She hugged him and showed him to his anatomy class. 

* 

Nikko was finding the word _love_ to be a little much. 

His classes were challenging and entertaining. He excelled and was considered top of the class. After a few months he had managed to make a reputation for himself among some of his classmates. If you asked about Nikko Ackermann, son of Levi Ackermann the famous plague master, depending on who answered you’d receive a very detailed picture. 

Most would smile softly, brighten a bit around the edges, “He’s so studious and honest. He cannot tell a lie. He’s creative and cares, really cares about people and what he’s doing. I would want him to tell me if I was dying, truly! He saved me in our biology class with the way he broke things down and rationalized it all to me. He’s a friend to everyone, really likable. But, he’s not exactly a talker. He’s shy, contemplative, respectful, polite. Not a bad thing about the guy, really.” 

And then there were those who were very much not a fan of Nikko. “He’s a spineless kiss ass who knows everything. He’s a faggot with OCD. He should have been born a woman. I think he wants to be a woman. He’s a fucking disgrace.” 

Nikko was bullied and often. 

Jacob came by one of the classes and caught the act, “Nikko, I’ve heard you could fight.” Nikko wiped his face in the bathroom. Blood dripping in the sink, “It’s fine.” Jacob leaned against the window, “Do you know the guys?” Nikko paused, “What do you mean?” Jacob shrugged, “What are their names?” Nikko sighed, “Eric, Francoise, Jill, and I don’t know the other one’s and don’t care to learn it.” Jacob smiled, “Let’s meet Mila at the front.” 

As they walked to the front Jacob grabbed a few flyers, “You’ve got testing?” Nikko hummed a yes, “Next week.” Jacob put the papers under his arm, “Let me know if you need anything. First year is a weed out year. It’ll make you nearly break but I’ve made it through and I can help you if Mila can’t or doesn’t have time.” Nikko smiled, “Thank you. That’s very kind of you.” 

“Nikko, have you met Mila’s boyfriend?” 

Nikko hadn’t, “No, he’s a ghost! I’ve been poking fun at her for a while since all I ever hear is Eric this and Eric that.” It pained him but it was dull. He’d given up hope a long time ago. Mila just wasn’t in his future. Jacob snorted, “I’ve met him only once and for less than a minute. He’s very ghost like. He tends to freight when one meets him.” 

Nikko liked Jacob more and more every day, “Would you like to get a beer one day?” Jacob paused, “Are you asking me on a date?” Nikko blushed, “No! I’m so sorry if that’s how you took it. I’m just saying...I don’t have a lot of friends here.” Jacob laughed heartily, “Nikko, it’s cool. I understood. I’d love to right after testing. I have been working nights at the hospital so I’m dead till after testing.” 

Nikko and Jacob spoke more till they ran into Mila in the atrium at the front, “Mila, I’ve brought Nikko to you for deposit. Please return him post hence to us tomorrow morning.” Jacob made everything a little better in Nikko’s opinion. Mila turned around smiling brightly, “I’ll be sure to take the utmost care of our Nikko and return him in pristine condition.” Nikko was still looking shyly at the floor but when he looked up he saw Eric, his bully. Jacob’s body tensed and Nikko understood. 

Of course, Mila would totally be dating a guy who called him a faggot everyday and tried to ruin his pure cultures in lab. Totally made sense. 

Nikko’s stomach clenched, _Oy, these goys._

Eric looked confused. Mila was talking to Jacob but Nikko was preparing for Eric to say something but instead he just looked confused, “So, would you like to eat with Eric and I?” Nikko looked at her and Mila waited patiently. Nikko wanted to do anything to make her happy. But this, “No, I’ll eat at home. Don’t worry about me. Just have fun.” Nikko left quickly and Mila stood looking confused and disappointed. 

* 

Nikko moved on the court. His tennis shoes squeaked. He hit the ball and, “Point!” He relaxed, exhausted. He’d ran away from the confrontation or potential confrontation and had decided to go to his tennis appointment. He put his racket in his bag and walked off to the sidewalk. He called an uber and waited for it to pick him up. His body overexerted from his session and the weather turning off badly. 

He sat in the car with a thud and closed his eyes till his driver lightly touched him, “Monsieur….” 

Nikko had a few missed calls from Ezra and Zev but nothing he couldn't shoot a message off about explaining his busy schedule. He was going to compete for a competitive practicum spot and needed to impress his proctors in the upcoming testing. Nikko opened the door and heard Mila’s voice, “I can’t believe it.” He looked around and noted her things were scattered around the apartment. She was on the phone and he didn’t want to intrude so he went to take a shower. 

In the shower he heard her get louder and louder. He turned it off and grabbed his towel, running out into the living room. A door slammed and she was standing there, her back towards him, “Mila! Are you okay? Who was that?!” Mila hesitated but turned around, “It was Eric. We broke up and he didn’t take it well. Um, Nikko?” Nikko was still standing there soaking wet, “Yes?” 

She looked him up and down quickly and then turned away, “Um, you’re wet and the rug…” 

He looked at the puddle on the floor, “Oh, HaShem! I’m so sorry. Don’t tell aba,” He chuckled and she looked over at him again, “That’s a very small towel.” He grimaced, “Oh, these are the only ones in there.” She looked flustered, “Oh! I’ll get the larger ones.” They moved silently around the apartment for a while until Nikko stopped in front of her, “Would you like dinner?” She sighed, relieved sounding, “Yes, very much.” 

* 

Nikko passed his tests with flying colors. The group of admirers had grown and they were kind and passionate but also had the group of jealous hate mongers. They were angry that a first year was beating out scores of third years. His Ackermann name didn’t make things easier nor did his open religious belief. Nikko wore a kippah everyday and everyday he received a slue of slurs. Mila hated to begin their morning walk to class now that she had a class on the same floor at the same time. 

The things they said were horrible and made her heart hurt. 

Nikko stayed strong and she never heard him complain, not once. 

She met another boy and started going out with him but they promised to have one dinner a week together. Nikko wasn’t going to hold her to it but it seemed that every week he came home for shabbat she was there, food in the kitchen being made, and a soft smile on her face. 

One dinner he sat down and noted her hair was loose and her clothes comfortable, “Nikko?” He grinned, “Yes?” She pulled an envelope from somewhere almost out of nowhere. He opened it and read it, “Mila, I….how?!” Mila clapped her hands, “These placements are hard to get. Welcome to the club!” Mila had received a placement at the hospital just this year, “I always knew you were talented.” He grinned despite himself, “But, Mila, you also got this placement.” She shrugged, “I’ll concede to that fact. But, Nikko, are you happy here?” 

He looked perplexed, “What do you mean?” 

“Are you happy in France?” 

He took a deep breath, “I love it here, truly. If you’re talking about the street chatter then-” 

“They’re threatening me. So what?” 

“They’re cowards.” 

He leaned back, a smirk on his face, “Well, Mila, that was very pointed of you. How long has this bothered you?” She shrugged, “I just…” He grinned, “Listen, I wear this kippah because it speaks for me what I think HaShem would want me to say. I gave up rabbinical school and I sometimes wonder if that was right of me. I think that people who have to acost me over fabric on my head don’t have much going on in their own lives and are lacking in Torah knowledge.” 

She frowned, “Have you been hit?” 

He drank some wine, “I think you’re thinking too much about this. Whether I have or not isn’t the point.” 

She frowned, “It is the point.” 

He didn’t want her upset, “Mila, I’m happy here.” He paused, thinking, “Are you happy here?” 

She was caught off guard, “I am! I’m very happy here.” He smiled, “Then we’re both happy.” She looked at her plate, “Will you do the prayers like uncle Levi did?” She was so soft and innocent. He nodded, “You really want prayers?” She platted more food, “I do. I really do.” It delighted him, “I didn’t know how Jewish you wanted our occasional shabbat observances to be. You don’t have to twist my arm!” 

“I mean, I picked these nights because they were shabbat.” 

He was surprised and made a small choking noise in the back of his throat, “Really?” Mila nodded, “Yeah. I thought it would be easier to ask off for.” Nikko and Mila had a nice night and she asked him for prayers from there on out. 

* 

“Fuck you, Jew!” Nikko walked into the hospital sweating from tennis. He was called in for an emergency, all the residents were. Mila had been let off of her shift. He passed her going on a date. She turned to look at him, a look of worry on her face. She paused, “Nikko?” He waved her off, “Emergency surgery.” She hesitated but left. He’d been pulled in at the last moment more and more since he was so close to the hospital. He didn’t mind. He was leaping over classes and logging more hours than anyone his year. Jacob and he had a standing appointment every week to get a beer and talk about his progress. 

Jacob was friendly but he always kept a wall up no matter what. 

Nikko didn’t push. 

Jacob had noticed this. 

Mila also never pushed. 

“What do we have?” The lead surgeon frowned. He was a tall man, fairly large, and had tan skin with fine lines from years of outdoor sports, “Routine embolism.” Dr. Petit, the surgeon, liked working with Nikko and it hadn’t gone unnoticed by many of the other students. He was a lead in the field. Dr. Petit’s wife was a mystery to many but he’d mentioned her a few times to Nikko while they were preparing for surgery. 

Nikko began washing up while watching the news. More issues were emerging in the world and he felt so unsettled. At the end of the day, all he wanted was to save lives and relax in his parisian apartment with Mila cooking her goyishe version of shabbat dinner. He felt himself smile fully, something he rarely did, “Why did you have to fall in love with a goy, Nikko?’ His voice was full of mirth. The paper towel dispenser echoed as he pulled the last paper from it’s roll. 

* 

The surgery went well and they rolled the patient into the room. Dr. Petit asked him to come to his office, “How old are you?” Nikko blinked, “Just turned nineteen.” Dr. Petit nodded, “God, to be young again. Well, I want to propose something to you. You’re flying through your first year and second year things get a bit lax. I think we make it better for our students because we try to kill them their first year. You have a lot of promise and I’m not going to lie, your name has value. However, would you be willing to skip the second year, take the necessary classes this summer that you simply can’t skip, and then start your third year classes with me as your advisor?” 

Nikko’s mouth was dry, “Yes, yes I’d love that.” Dr. Petit nodded, “You know Mila Zacharias?” Nikko nodded, “She’s in the lab right now and we love her there. She’s a great doctor but she’s really made our lab function at top notch. This summer you’ll work under her for your genetics class.” 

Nikko left and walked home. He noticed in the dark there were people waiting, clinging to the shadows. He kept his head down and grabbed a cab. Sometimes it was better to be safe than sorry. 

* 

* 

He found her, white long sleeved chiffon blouse made by their aunt, her tight black flowing pants that billowed around her feet and high heeled leather boots that she bought in Italy with their other uncles a month ago. 

He walked quickly over the stone floor, missing the planters and other tables in his haste with precision. He sat down and she had her chair turned away, legs crossed at the knee. She inhaled and things were quiet. She knew he was there; he was always involved with things without being so. He was a nobody in his opinion but in others he was just unique like his father, "So, why are you here?" 

He picked at the edge of the table. She had been crying, her eyes still red and green irises hazy. She was so kind and she’d been mistreated by someone who didn’t realize just how precious she was. He would do his best to repair what that foolish boy had done. He realized she’d asked him a question as he’d sat in silence lost in his own thoughts staring at the marble top table in the student’s atrium. 

"What do you mean? I'm here to study." He was self-conscious around her, always had been. She was so beautiful, a lily, something to be cherished. "What have you always wanted to be?" His eyes were just like his father's and she admired how similar he looked to the pictures of Levi's youth. He was a striking image of her memories of a smiling dark haired uncle that she’d always been in love with. 

He answered cautiously, eyes calculating, "A surgeon." She smiled coyly, ducking her chin like he was jesting her, "Oh, come on," she began, her voice heavy with some emotion he couldn't place, "I know that's what you're here for and I know you're a talented up and coming doctor like your father but..." she paused looking at him in serious, she was so deadly serious his breath did not dare leave his chest, "why not a writer?"

Her smile, the one gracing her face from corner to corner slowly and divinely made him duck his head quickly and bashfully, corner of his mouth hinting at a smirk while his eyes did the smiling, "A writer, tch, why would you think I should be a writer?" She wiped her face with a tissue, clearing some loose tears. 

She turned around in her chair and faced him more, "Because you're a poet. You're a soul of words, so many fine words. You speak without speaking, you write the beauty of humanity." He demurred, brow furrowing as he thought about it, "I did always want to be a poet. But, I'm not right for it." She pouted, "How untrue!" He shook his foot, keeping his eyes on the table, "How do you know this thing?"

She bit her lip in hesitation knowing that like father like son this sensitivity could lead to her making him feel embarrassed or shamed. Honesty was always best with their families, "Because I used to read your poems, your stories. I read the things you kept in your room, close to your heart and full of your soul." He nearly choked. He'd written much about her, Mila Zacharias, so much of his true feelings were in his works. She was his divinity and he had lamented his sorrow for years in unrequited solitude, "Why?! How!?" 

He flushed and felt ill. He was scared he’d ruined her picture of him with childish unsafe proclamations. At his age, he knew that writing something was as good as signing one’s own name to the gallows for the crime it became to express love and adoration for someone forbidden. She smiled mischievously, like her mother, it made him nervous, excited in some way he’d never been before. 

He'd always known what his aba had seen in her mother that had attracted him. She said in the way that was truly her, matter of a fact, honestly guilty yet somehow unguilty, "I did not go into your room looking.” She began, each word clear and crisp despite the warble from her past crying, “I was told to."

He gave her a questioning look, so like his father, "Who told you to go inside? I hid them, well not hid but they were not in plain sight for anyone to just find." She looked a little shameful, "Well, uncle Armin and uncle Marco told me to go inside. We used to talk about them together because they read them, too. They found them first. You have such talent, Nikko, a true wonder of our generation!" 

He felt the same feeling his aba must feel when his baba does something meaning well but that causes more embarrassment than anything. They lived with well meaning Fiddler on the Roof wanna be schaedchens and for people like he and his father they were constantly suffocated by love.

"So, Nehemiah,” the use of his full name made the bones in his body quell with energy to hear them from such a seraph’s lips, “why are you here at the Sorbonne when you should be putting ink to paper and not scalpel to bone?" He looked at her, mouth slightly open but he had not enough wetness for his tongue to aid speech. His heart beat inside of his chest like madness and pendulums, _I'm here because this is where you are and I am, and have always been, hopelessly in love with you._ Nehemiah Ackermann’s heart had always beat the name of Mila Zacharias.

***

**A few months later.**

Mila walked inside of his room in the early morning. He opened his eyes and saw her placing his washed clothes in his drawer and he saw she’d cleaned his kippahs and were placing them so they would dry properly. He watched her and noted she seemed off, “Mila? What’s wrong?” She turned around, gasping, “My God, Nikko you scared the shit out of me!” He pulled the cover up higher, “Obviously.” She looked around, “Well, I just did some laundry, that’s all.” 

He looked at her and knew there was more, “And what’s going on today? Are you meeting up with….?” He’d forgotten this boy’s name she was dating. She shook her head, “We’re just not compatible.” He sat up and looked around, “I think I’m not compatible with this bed anymore.” She laughed, “Come on, just move into your parent’s room. They’re not going to mind. You’re in here in a twin bed and I have a queen. It isn’t fair, really.” He asked if she wanted to spend the day at museums and relaxing. They were both off and she agreed. 

[She](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/85/71/5b/85715b62b710801bbf231d648e9254e3.jpg) dressed and so did [he](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/87/ce/d8/87ced8ef0d020e09a22017305b3609d7.jpg). He wondered why she was always so put together in her black and white uniform but then realized he was no better. He loved wearing suits and wore many of them. He liked clean lines and pristine fabrics. The apartment was sterile just the way they liked it. 

They went to see a ballet and then to lunch. It was such a beautiful day they decided to skip the art museum and just enjoy it all. Nikko stopped at a coffee shop filled with tourists while Mila entered a small boutique to pick up something. He loved the sounds of Paris, the springtime had come and gone but it would always live in his mind. She appeared and they walked to a more secluded place to grab wine and cheese. He sat down and turned his phone off, “Am I doing well in your class or should I be at home studying?’ 

She smirked, “I mean, you could always improve.” She looked at his [hand](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/8f/38/6c/8f386cbfb2896631372930a106ec66e3.jpg), “I always wanted to get a tattoo.” He looked totally shocked, “You!? What do you want?!” She played with her hair and kept looking out at the crowds, “I’d like something to do with mermaids.” He knew they were her favorite so he nodded, “I think they’re beautiful.” 

“But, honestly, Nikko. You’re doing so well in the program. It’s amazing. I think that you’re going to push through this third year course work into fourth. Hey, then we’d have classes together more often! After fourth year everyone mixes.” He saw a group from school that taunted him, “I like the sound of that.” She nodded and looked at her phone, ‘Oh, it’s Jacob.” He got a call, too. “Yeah, but he hung up.” 

Mila looked confused and Nikko saw the boys disappear. He cautiously touched his kippah, “Is your wine good?” She took another sip and handed it to him to try, ‘Very.” 

Then there was the sound of tires on the street, screeching, burning rubber, and screams. 

_Pow, pow, pow!_

_The sound of brake screeching._

_Screams._

_The bursting of cement and subsequent dust storm._

Nikko grabbed Mila from across the table pulling her over. Their dishes fell and shattered. He slammed her behind him and tossed her roughly through the door of the building rushing in after her and dragging her on the floor when the car slammed into the tables of the coffee shop and then crashed into the opening of the door, shifting the foundation, stone falling everywhere with smoke choking those cowering inside. 

He was checking her for serious injury while she checked him. He noted her face and the tears, “Can you stand?” She nodded and got up. He looked around and they saw this wasn’t the only car. 

*** 

The event with the car ramming had made them crave the safety of home. Between the hospital and classes, Nikko and Mila only saw each other for very short amounts of time. She’d started seeing someone else and often went across Paris to his flat. Sometimes, she’d wander into his room, what was his parents room, with clothes and little things she’d picked up that she thought would make him smile. 

He often got her flowers and little things as well. 

It was a kind friendship with a lot of love and silent understanding. 

He left for the hospital, her perfume still lingering in the hallway as he walked to the elevator. Nikko called his sister and spoke with her. Gisela was happily chatting away while relaxing at her dorm. Gisela and Aviva had moved to France. He and Mila were still trying to convince them to move in with them. 

“Gisela, can I come by tonight and take you to dinner?” 

Gisela sighed, “Yeah, but don’t freak out when you see me, okay?” 

Nikko went to his shift but all he thought of it the entire time. He took the metro after work and stood among the crowd. Normally it was fine but today he had some harassers. A woman turned her face from him as they yelled. He just blocked it out and listened to a recording of Berkovitch from a few weeks ago. Nikko was missing a simple life as a rabbi at that moment. 

* 

When he saw her he was livid, “Who did this to you?!” She shrugged, “A few girls. They ganged up on me. Things are weird here, brother. A lot of anti semitism lately. Did you know we’re white? Apparently, ethnic Jews are white.” He didn't appreciate the fact that his sister was pointing out what bothered her most when she looked horrible, “You're healing?” She nodded, “Slowly, it was pretty bad.” 

“Aviva?” 

“Not here. I don't want her to know. Can I get ice cream with sprinkles?” He frowned, “You can get a boost of serum and real food first!” 

She pouted, “Do you speak to Mila like this?” He glared, “Stop. Come on. I'm calling a car.” 

“Not a taxi?” 

“No…...not a taxi.” Taxis were not safe in Paris anymore. Women were going missing and the car rammings were heavily related to the taxi service's lack of vetting. She walked slowly, sore and in pain. He wanted to help her but he also wanted to kill those girls. 

They went to a falafel shop near the apartment. She talked about Judah and Zev while eating. She seemed off but he put it on the back burner, “Have you ever wondered why something in our stomach is off around certain people? I've been researching it in my psych classes but still, I've only found that what I feel is not what others feel when they have a “gut feeling.” Because, I get those…..too. Just... this is different.” 

He frowned, “Do you think there is something wrong with us?” She shrugged, “Maybe, Nikko.” He decided there was no way around it, “Politically things are getting worse for people like us here. Mila is constantly on edge because of the things people say and do to me. There are more terror attacks in the city than before. There seems to be issues in the political landscape that is causing economic issues. It’s pretty routine but….” 

She looked at him, “But?” 

“I can feel a calm before the storm.” 

She stared intently, “Yes, I think that’s exactly right. We’re here on the edge of the abyss.” She blinked a tear away, “I hope you’re wrong, though.” He brought her to the apartment to spend the night. It made him feel better knowing she was there. They talked about the hospital and her performances. When Mila arrived she looked tired, “Gigi, you can borrow some of my clothes tomorrow if you want.” 

Gisela was in Nikko’s clothes to sleep in, “Thanks!” She asked Mila if she’d like to do a face mask and Mila agreed. He laid on the couch while the girls spoke and made over each other. He watched Mila’s hands as they smoothed the cream over her face. Mila was so kind, beautiful, and smart. They had been doing charity work together in their free time and after the car ramming he’d noticed her more active politically. 

Mila was the perfect woman. 

*** 

He walked past them from his tennis match. There was a group that always came and watched. He noted their red shoe laces. They followed behind, far enough away to leave if police came but close enough their presence was always felt. He would take different routes to the hospital and his apartment. Today, however, he had to go straight home and get ready for Aviva and Gisela’s performance. Ezra said Zev was coming. He hoped so. 

Mila was calling him, “Hey, I see you! Stop and I’ll come over.” 

“No! Don’t.” 

It was too late, she was crossing the street, “What?” 

He bit his lip, “Nothing. How was your day?” 

She smiled and took his arm as they passed on the crowded sidewalk, “It was….busy. I’m really tired.” He tried to offer her an encouraging look, “How is?” She gave him a reproachful look, “Jon is coming tonight to the event.” He honestly thought she had dated everyone in Paris. Levi would probably flip out if he knew. She always went somewhere once a week that he had been curious about but her right to privacy was worth more than his own curiosity. 

He thought about how un-Smith that was and smirked. 

She leaned her head on his shoulder and they made it to their apartment. He opened the door and let her go inside before him. She grabbed his hand, “I….I had a long day.” He looked at her hand and his heart thumped in his chest, “What happened?” She looked him in the eye and it was serious, “Just let me be weird and don’t judge me.” She laughed nervously and he grinned, “Okay. Hey, wanna watch some cartoons in comfortable clothes till we just have to get ready?” She snorted, “I have to start getting ready waaaay before you. I’m a girl.” 

He sighed, “Yeah….aren’t all of our visiting family in their apartments and rooms, too?” She nodded, “Yeah but at least our apartment is known for being the quiet one and people have to leave us alone. Or else!” He held her hand till they got in the apartment. He could hear Zev snoring. She changed into her dress and fixed her hair. He walked into the living room and she was there, touching her make up up. He watched in awe as she changed her perfect features ever so slightly making them even more appealing. 

She looked at her [dress](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/bd/53/4f/bd534fd9a31d3443010bcba51de6edf7.jpg), “Is it too much?” He shook his head, “No, it’s you. You’re so colorful and interesting.” She laughed nervously, “Boring, Nikko! I’m _boring._ ” He didn’t think so, “Just because you’re not out there raising hell doesn’t make you boring.” She waved him off, “No, I’m pretty plain. I just care about science and studying and being the best doctor I can be.” 

He dressed slower as she told him all about the promising research she was doing. When he was finished they met at the door. She fixed his tie, “You’ve always known how to dress.” [He](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a5/2e/0a/a52e0a3917376a387c5bfce20f6059f6.jpg) blushed, “Thank you.” She had a certain smell, “That’s not your usual perfume.” She frowned, “I ran out of mine and I borrowed it from Clemance in the lab.” He kept looking at her wrist, “You really don’t care for it, do you?” 

He pulled back a bit, “No, I’m sorry.” She snorted softly, “You don’t have to be sorry. I’m glad you told me. No one else would. I care if you like it or not.” He swallowed, his throat dry, “You...care?” He whispered and she looked at him, “Yeah.” Her reply was so soft he thought he dreamed it. 

There was a knock on the door and it was Zev, “HEY! YOUR MOST FAVORITE PRINCE OF FUN IS HERE! COME ON!” She leaned forward and kissed his cheek, “God help us.” She opened the door and he stood there, wires misfiring. Mila had kissed his cheek as an adult. He’d never wash this cheek again. 

_Yuck, I’ll definitely wash my face. Gross._

* 

Mila had danced with Jon all night. She came to Nikko to give him his coat back, “It’ll be cold. Don’t get sick or I can’t let you into surgery.” He was drunk and sweaty. She was too, “You’re eyes are so beautiful.” She blushed, “Bye. Lyla Tov. (Good night)” He was pulled away and she found Jon, holding his hand. 

* 

“Touch me.” Her hand guided his between her legs. He gasped, “Mila?” She bit her bottom lip, cheeks pink and lip red. Her navy floral dress, tznius and appropriate for all rules of modesty, gathered between her legs with his hand pressed firmly against her sex, “Nikko, touch me.” Her breathy plea made him hot and extremely hard. He swallowed and moved closer. She pressed her head against his and moaned suddenly, shortly, a gasp really. 

He massaged her and then moved his lips down to kiss her. She was so sweet and supple. His chest heaved, free hand moved up her back. She moaned again, softer, “Nikko, I…..” She looked him in the eye, “I-” 

He woke up. 

She wasn’t there. 

His cock ached. 

He was sticky with sweat. 

“Mila.” He said her name first and felt guilty. He should speak HaShem’s name first. But, always, it was her name. 

He dialed a number, “Aba?” 

Levi had been asleep himself, a nap maybe, “Mmhm?” 

This was common between them, “What’s the first thing you think aloud or say aloud, the very first thought you have….a conscious thought every morning or every time you wake?” 

Levi hummed. 

There was a beat of silence. 

“ _Eren_.” 

* 

Gisela appeared, “I feel like something bad is going to happen.” She started to turn pink and he knew it was an attack, “To whom?” She sat down and started to hyperventilate. He held her while she choked on sobs, “Nikko, I’m scared. I’m so scared.” 

He pulled her in the bed with him and held her tightly, “Lay us down to sleep, Lord our God, in peace, raise us erect, our King, to life; spread over us the sukkah of Your peace. Set us aright with good counsel from before Your Presence, and save us for Your Name’s sake. Shield us, remove from us foe, plague, sword, famine, and woe; and remove spiritual impediment from before us and behind us and shelter us in the shadow of Your wings for God who protects and rescues us are You; for God, the Gracious and Compassionate King, are You. Safeguard our going and coming – for life and for peace from now to eternity. Blessed are You, Lord, Guardian of Israel for always.” 

It always had made her feel better and he said it so well that she only wanted him when she needed comforting. “You should be a rabbi.” She choked out the words and he smiled, “Missed that train, I think.” He started to move them, gently rocking. He hummed the songs of their people like aba did. He tried to suppress the truth. If Gisela saw it, it was true. Darker days were upon them.

* 

“Mila is in the hospital!?” Aviva screeched, “Room number?!” She put the phone in her purse and pulled on shoes. Her feet screamed and so did she. She rushed past Gisela who was coming in, hair wet from a shower, “Hospital, Mila, now!” Gisela threw on clothes and they went outside of their dorm to get a cab. She was panting as they got in the car, “We need to make a stop at-” 

Aviva handed him the address and Gisela fumbled with the phone to call Nikko. 

* 

“Fracture to the ankle. Bruising and swelling around her stomach and organs. Her face, jaw specifically, has a small hairline fracture and the blunt force made her blind for a while but her sight is returning….she-” 

Nikko looked at her through the glass after the doctor left. Gisela and Aviva were inside with her, holding her hand. Nikko’s eye twitched and he found it impossible to repress the part of him that wanted nothing but revenge. 

* 

“They followed her to your house and said they were attacking her because she was a dirty whore who….fucked Jews.” The police officer really didn’t like using foul language and he hated that a young woman had been so violently accosted. Nikko looked at the testimony of the man that had been caught. He wanted to see his picture. Nikko grimaced. 

* 

He showed up to his tennis match on time. His body was taut and the twitch in his eye wouldn’t go away. His coach noticed and looked over at a man leaning on the fence around the court. There, in the shadows, two groups of men waited. Nikko grit his teeth as he hit the ball, back and forth over the net. 

He hit much harder than normal. It made him cringe thinking he was giving himself away. His coach stopped, stood up, and grinned, “Today, is the day.” Nikko paused, he straightened himself up, ‘What?” His coach knocked his racket against his thigh, “Today we see what we were hoping to see.” The man at the fence whistled and Nikko recoiled, “My name is Jacob, it’s okay. Come over.” 

Nikko gave a scrupulous look and walked over. The group in the shadows appeared, too. “My name is Jacob.” 

“My name is Jacob.” 

“My name is Jacob.” 

Nikko was cautious, “All of you are Jacob?” They nodded, “And you’re Nehemiah Lev Ackermann.” 

Nikko dead panned, “And your pronunciation is horrendous.” 

They all laughed, “What if we told you we’re interested in hiring you and we know more about what happened to Mila than the police do?” 

Nikko’s body was on fire, “What do you know?!” 

“That we’ve got an issue with white nationalism in this country and the police are facilitating it. Let me guess, one man was caught. He’s in jail right now. A few months and he’ll be tried. You were not allowed to meet him or see him?” 

Nikko was still staring and the man held up a picture, “And this was him.” 

Nikko’s eye widened slightly, “Yes.” 

“No, it wasn’t him because this is an undercover designated cop who they use in situations like this. See, the thing is, they donate large sums to the police and there are key right politicians in power and coming to power now in the government. The police are divided into two categories: those who support fully and facilitate the right and those who are against them but stay silent to protect themselves.” 

Nikko didn’t know what that had to do with him, “Why are you telling me this?” 

“Because we think you’re who we need to get rid of a few key targets. You’re incredibly smart, talented, excellent ability to go unnoticed, and you’re Jewish. Shouldn’t it be enough?” Nikko knew he shouldn’t. The Jacobs took him to a shop where the back room was a cafe. They seemed to think it was safe to talk there and after a few hours Nikko was putting more and more together, “My friend, Jacob, he’s one of you?” 

His coach smiled, “Who do you think recommended you. We work on references, mostly. We watch and evaluate.” 

”Who are you?” 

“Foreign Legion.” 

Nikko took a deep breath and a shot, “I’ll do it if you let me get the people who hurt her.” They all seemed more than pleased, “Can you do it?” He was unreadable, “Yes.” They seemed surprised but they needed to test him anyway, “Jacob will meet you behind the school in three days. He’ll go with you and then assist you. This is your test. You know that as long as you belong to us all your crimes are absolved least you violate the terms of the legion?” 

“Yes.” 

“You should also know that becoming a double agent is not an option. We know that you have connections to aman.” 

Nikko looked them, “It’s not a problem.” 

“It better not be.” 

* 

Mila was at home now and healed physically. She wasn’t doing so well mentally and often studied in her room. She took the taxi to and from school and sometimes slept over night at the hospital. Her boyfriend had broken up with her and now she was devoted to her work. He started bringing her food. She barely spoke lately but he didn’t mind. He just needed to see her. 

He went to class before and had sat down with Jacob, “When we go out for a beer tonight, I think I’m going to get lit.” Jacob had a glint in his eye, “Me too!” He’d told Nikko all he needed to know but seemed more than happy that Nikko had spearheaded everything on his own. He was such a reserved guy and no matter how much someone pushed on him he stayed polite and calm. Mila clearly was his trigger. 

He showed up at the lab after that class to work with her on his final project. She was sleepy and yawned a lot. He sat down next to her, “What are you doing this weekend?” She looked over at him, “Nothing, just maybe some paperwork.” He leaned forward, coyly, “You should say “I’m going with you, Nikko, to Italy” because that’s what I’m asking you to do with me.” It was on the calendar, two tickets. Levi had hoped he’d ask Mila. “Oh? Are you asking me to go?” He smiled, “Please?” 

“I’d love to go.” 

“Then be sure to pack and prepare.” 

She looked at him, “What are you doing tonight?” He looked surprised, “I’m actually busy.” She frowned for a second, “Oh, never mind then.” He wanted to tell her he was getting revenge for the pain she’d been put through. He wanted to comfort her. “Are you busy tomorrow?” She cringed, “Yeah, sorry.” He had a thought, “Fridays, you’re always busy in the morning. What do you do?” 

She sputtered, “Ha, um, I just….it’s personal.” 

He grimaced, “Mila, I’m sorry. I never meant to pry!” She laughed, “You’re so easy, Nikko.” He leaned closer and she didn’t pull away. Her perfume was the same again, “What are you working on?” She didn’t say anything for a while, “Just the same old same old. I wonder if we’ll ever come up with anything useful.” He rested his face in his hand, “You don’t want to be a doctor. You just want to do research like your mother.” She looked at him, “I want to do it all.” 

He opened his phone, “I think we should get something to eat and work really hard.” She giggled, “Food will solve all problems.” 

* 

Nikko finished his cigaret when Jacob walked up, “Surgeons should know better than to smoke!” Nikko and Judah never really kicked the habit but for them, their lungs would just keep healing. There really wasn’t an issue save for second hand smoke. He looked at the building, “I heard from a boy down the street that the parties in this building are insane.” Jacob stared, “Really? And that tells you what?” Nikko looked at him, “That this would have been a good place to get some drugs.” That really surprised Jacob and he didn’t know what to do other than laugh. 

Nikko and he entered and checked the plate listing tenants. They didn’t need to. They knew where to go. Jacob was curious to see what Nikko figured out or didn’t figure out. He got to the door and knocked. A guy opened it, beer in his hand and confused look on his face. He then smiled, “Heil Hitler!” Nikko smiled, “Heil Hitler.” He saluted him and the guy burst into drunken laughter. Nikko pulled up his scarf around his face and kicked him in the crotch before slamming his face into the wall. Nose breaking, blood spewing out. 

He entered and grabbed a baseball bat that was kept at the door. Nikko moved quickly and it was a bloodbath. Jacob was actually terrified. Did Mila know this lurked within her sensitive Nikko? 

He left one man alive and strapped to a chair. He lit a cigaret, “Who gives you money?” The man was bleeding and swollen. His eye fully closed, “Kike.” He spat and Nikko blew smoke in his face as he leaned up, “You don’t seriously think you can call me a kike and everything goes your way? You beat an innocent woman.” 

“She isn’t innocent.” 

“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. Who supports you?” 

He wished Gisela was here. She’d somehow have it out of him in seconds. He finished his cigaret, “I haven’t got the time for this.” Jacob watched, slightly afraid. He really didn’t have the time and seemed annoyed at every second that passed. 

“Madame Penen.” 

Jacob recorded him and took ahold of Nikko’s sleeve, “Go home. I’ve got it from here.’ Nikko stared at him, “You don’t want me to hear anymore, do you?” Jacob gave a wry smile, “No, but it’s not what you think. Go home.” Nikko made his way into the bathroom and hurriedly washed his hands while Jacob questioned the man. A few other undercover officers appeared and kept their heads down. He made his way outside into the chill air and decided to walk home. 

When he got to his house he noted the lights on on his floor. 

She was sitting on the couch as he walked in. Her eyes moist, “Hey, will you….do you want to sit with me?” He nodded but kept on heading to his room, “I need a shower first.” She blushed and he didn’t understand why. It was quick and efficient. He pulled on a shirt and boxers. He wasn’t feeling like wrapping himself in layers. 

She was in a blanket and seemed a bit off, “Is everything okay, Mila?” She fixed her face and brought her cover up higher over her shoulder, “I’m good, I just was stressed out and watched a sad movie. But…” she gave him a probing look, “I guess you’re having a great night.” He looked at her, dumbfounded, “I don’t understand.” 

She sighed exasperatedly, “Nikko, come on.” He kept staring, ‘What?” She rolled her eyes, “You come home, face flushed, color in your cheeks, smelling like sweat, and you say you need to take a shower?” He kept staring, just like his father. “Who is she?” His face lit up, “She?! No! You’ve got it wrong. I played a match with a friend at a gym and then walked home.” 

He hated lying. 

She looked ashamed, “Oh, I’m sorry!” 

He pushed her and she giggled, “Stop!” He pushed her again, “I’m getting a beer. You want one?” She had a mischievous look in her eye, “Yeah, and the vodka.” 

* 

They watched TV and drank. He looked over at her, “Let me in.” He pulled at her blanket and she opened it, “Okay, but only if you keep me warm.” He let her wrap her arms around him, “Who are you dating now?’ She seemed almost hollow when she answered, “His name is Daniel.” He looked at her hands as they tried to grab the remote, “When did he become your boyfriend?” 

“Yesterday.” 

“Oh.” 

Mila left the remote alone, “Will you read some of your poems to me?” 

He was shy, “I….I…” 

“Sorry, you don’t have to.” 

*** 

She pressed her face into his chest, “I have to leave soon.” He woke up just when she did, “I don’t want you to go.” He meant it. She didn’t dare breathe, “I’ll come back afterwards. We can read or sit on the windowsill and drink coffee.” He held her tightly, “Mila, what is bothering you?” She sat up, “I’m fine. Just leave it alone.” She left the couch and got dressed to go somewhere nice but didn’t wash her face or anything. He thought that was very strange, “Please come back soon.” Her hand stayed by the handle, “Okay.” 

He smiled, “I’m sorry. I’m needy.” 

She smiled but he couldn’t see, ‘Nothing wrong with that.” 

*** 

The phone rang. 

“What was my father like? Tell me again. I don't want to ask mom. It makes her sad.” 

A deep breath followed by a long sigh, “He was tall, blond, big guy. He smirked a lot and was pretty reserved.” 

She wiped her face, “More.” 

There was something like shifting in sheets, “He told us one time that he refused to sexualize his daughter. He wanted her to be a kid and be innocent. He would smile and carry you around. Sometimes he'd play hide and seek with you but he'd do it because you needed to be distracted.” 

”From what?” 

He laughed shortly, “Me. He'd do it when you wanted to see me. He was probably annoyed at me all the time.” 

”Why?” 

Levi sighed, “Because you and your mother were always close to me.” 

She started to cry but composed herself, “Did he leave because of me?” 

Levi sat up in the bed, “He left because he was made to leave, Mila. He never wanted to leave you. Your mother and you were his world.” 

She cried a little and his heart broke, “You think he's dead?” 

Levi didn't know how to answer that, “I think that he is merely because of the amount of time that has passed.” 

Mila looked at the marble counter with products to trim her nails and clean herself of impurities, “How do you mourn someone like that?” He was caught off guard by that question, “What do you mean?” She took a shuddering breath, “Did anyone ever say kaddish for him for a year?” 

Levi’s breath hitched. “No,” he said the words slowly, “because we did not know he was dead and your mother isn't Jewish so she wouldn't have. I am not obligated. If you were Jewish then you would be but you'd have been excused because of your age.” She sobbed, “I have sinned.” 

He paused, “But, if you want to say it now you can. You can do whatever you want. If you think he is dead and if it will help then you can.” Levi was feeling so many emotions at that moment he had no idea where to begin. 

She closed her eyes, “Just between you and me.” He smiled, “Just between you and me.” 

They hung up. 

They'd been having private conversations since she was little. He felt so strange as he turned to Eren in bed and reached out to touch him. “I want to go to Paris.” Eren kissed his fingertips, “Okay. Just let me grab a shower.” Levi kissed him, “You're my first thought and my last one everyday.” 

Eren smiled, “I love you.”


	176. You Understand Me

Mila came back to the apartment and found Nikko in his bed, “School is shut down for a week. Hospital isn't letting us come due to a security issue. I was told by Dr. Petit that if there was something that needed watching for me or you to tell him.” She had wet hair, “I went for a swim. They said nothing.” He looked at her closely. “Should I tell him to look at anything for you?” 

“No, let me dry my hair. Can I join you after?” He wasn't going to say no, “Yes.” 

She had her pajamas on and moved close to him as they watched movies. He closed his eyes at one point and she moved her head to press against his shoulder, “I want to find my father.” He hummed, “Do you want to hire a private detective?” 

“I did. I am so nervous.” Nikko rolled over to face her, “I'll pray.” She looked so sad, “Thank you.” He reached over and took her hand, “It’s very improper for two unmarried people to share a bed.” She grinned coyly, “Don’t tell the authorities. I’ll be branded with a letter, you know.” He chuckled, “Aba was busy when I tried to call him earlier today. Now he’s not answering my texts.” She thought about it, “Maybe uncle Eren used bubble bath in the laundry again and he’s currently fighting the bubble gods?” 

They both laughed and reminisced on his parents relationship, “They love each other so much.” She was braiding her hair, “For real. They make me so happy. I want that.” Nikko nodded, “I do, too.” She had always wanted to ask him, “Why did you leave Rebecca? Was the sex bad and the nagging worse?” He sighed, “There was no sex and my blood pressure was always elevated thinking she was going to tear into me.” Mila frowned, “Awww I’m sorry. Do you regret it?” Nikko looked at the sheets, “Yes, because I know what I want and I should have known that she was not right for me. I’m not stupid. I’ve always known what I want.” 

She looked at him, “What have you always wanted?” 

He opened his mouth but there was a knock on the door. Nikko got up and she stayed in the bed. He was gone for a while, “Mila, there are flowers for you from Daniel.” She felt her gut clench, “I-is t-there a card?!” He walked back into the bedroom, “Yes, it says” he held the pristine pink card up, “All things must come to an end. I am sorry.” Nikko’s mouth was dry, “Is this….is he breaking up with you?” He looked down and she was crying. She clutched her heart, “Daniel got word from the private investigator.” 

Nikko tried to follow, “This is code?” 

She nodded, “Yes.” 

“Your father?” 

She sobbed, “Is dead.” 

*** 

Nikko stood in the museum in front of the painting they’d agreed on. Mila was looking through the other rooms. Jacob appeared and handed him a usb discretely. He smirked, a truly dashing man, “We want you to be the one that infiltrates their world and exposes them to us. We’re sick of the nazis in our country, Nikko.” 

Nikko looked at him, “So, this is a nationalist thing?” Jacob shrugged, “You could say so. They’re destroying us from the inside. We’ve got enough to worry about with media and such. Instead, they prey on the weak and the alienated and they create an army of blind hateful soldiers. It’s the Jews, the unmarried mothers, the whoever and it happens in the open. You read the papers. Hate crimes are on the rise. Look, Mila was even a victim of it all.” 

Jacob watched as the Nikko that beat the shit out of a few men and killed them appeared and disappeared, “You’re all Jacobs. Ha, I just got it.” Jacob chuckled, “You did?” Nikko smiled and returned to looking at the painting, “Jacobins…” 

“Do you think of me as your friend, Nikko?” Jacob asked seriously. Nikko placed his hands in his pockets, “I’m a nobody, Jacob. Are you sure you’d want me to be your friend?” 

Jacob frowned, “I wouldn’t say you’re a nobody.” 

Nikko hissed, “Jacob, you know that’s just you being kind. Most of my life I’ve been easily ignored and overlooked. My brothers have such personality and my family is large. I don’t mind it. Sometimes, though, when it comes to certain things I do mind.” He thought about how Mila didn’t see him. She didn’t see how he loved her. Jacob gave a shy smile, “I don’t think you’re a nobody. But, maybe that’s why I know you’re perfect for this job. Come on, go home. I didn’t mean to call you out of bed on an off day. Mila seems happy, though.” 

Nikko nodded, “She is. We love coming here. We bought passes. My sister comes all the time, too. And our other step like sister.” Jacob snorted, “The blonde with bangs?” Nikko nodded, “Yeah.” Jacob smirked, “She’s fierce.” He gave an unamused look. “Listen, Nikko, at least I knew your sister was off limits.” Nikko’s face faltered a bit, “Yeah, you’re a good guy.” 

It was raining as they left and he opened the umbrella pulling Mila under it, “It’s okay. I’ll have my clothes dry cleaned.” She grabbed him and pulled him under with her, “I’m calling a car and stop being so ridiculous. I’ll clean your suit.” She added the last part quietly, “Mila, you don’t have to. It’d take forever.” She looked up at him, “I like doing it.” He blushed and became silent. Mila was much nicer to him than he thought his heart could handle. 

They made their way home and he kept her dry as they made their way inside. It was late at night. Mila took the umbrella to fold it while Nikko wiped his suit off, “I’ll cook a late dinner. What would you like?” He kept the door open for her for the elevator, “I would seriously love anything you make.” She smiled, “I have a recipe I want to try so I’ll do it. It’ll be a surprise.” She moved quickly and he felt himself fill with love. He wished they were really together and this was their daily life. 

They opened the door and then, “NIKKO!” Eren was so loud it scared both of them. Levi was waiting in the living room patiently, ‘Eren, don’t be so loud.” Eren hugged them both, “We decided to come and see you two. We took off and wanted to spend time in Paris. I haven’t told your sister yet.” 

* 

Levi had already snooped around the apartment. “He’s in our room.” Eren looked at him from over at the window, “Really?” Levi nodded, “I’m not pushing two twins together.” He mumbled and Eren cleared his throat, “Neshama, I wondered why you never moved the beds into another apartment or into storage. I mean, you knew Nikko would be moving into the apartment and Mila got David and Mikasa’s room to herself. She had a normal queen.” 

Levi was unreadable so Eren pressed on, “And Nikko was expected to stay in a kids bedroom in a twin when at home he has a king.” Levi kept staring. “Don’t look so bored, Levi!” Eren rolled his eyes and walked over to the door and looked inside, “Hmmm Mila’s underwear is in here.” Levi ran into the bedroom, “Really?” 

Eren whirled around, “NO! I LIED! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA I got you!” 

Levi looked unamused, “You don’t have me!” 

“You’re trying to make it convenient for them to get together either in here or in her room!” Levi pushed Eren and Eren stepped back. He looked so offended, “Did you _PUSH_ me?” Levi stared and Eren gawked, “YOU PUSHED ME!” Levi pushed him again and harder, “STOP! STOP PUSHING ME!” Levi pushed him against the wall and Eren grew unsure, “What are you doing?!” 

Levi looked him in the eye, “Say hello to the robot.” Eren grimaced, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Levi was slapping and hitting all over him and threw him on the bed. He crawled on top of him, licked his cheek, and rubbed his body all over him. Eren fought against him, slapping and squirming, “YOU’RE SO WEIRD!” 

He smirked, “I’m a vampire.” Eren grabbed his face, “So am I.” They looked at each other seriously, “I vant to drink yor blood!” Levi leaned down and licked his face again, “Now, I’m a dog.” Eren giggled, “Levi! You freak!” He rolled them and straddled him, “Remember when we were on our honeymoon.” 

”What do colors taste like, Eren? We’ve never figured it out.” 

Eren stared at him, “Can we ask questions we’ve thought about?” 

Levi blinked, “Yeah, we’re stuck together till death. We should ask all the questions and keep this shit poppin’.” He accentuated the Ps in the word and Eren drug his thumb over his lip, “How the fuck are you so hot?” 

Levi chuckled, “I was born to brood, brat.” 

“If I take a shower and I’m clean, how can my towel be dirty after I use it?” 

Levi sucked on his thumb. He pulled it out with a pop, “If money is the root of all evil, why do churches ask for it?” 

Eren rolled his hips in a circle, “What does water taste like?” 

Levi’s hands moved up his thigh, “If soap falls on the floor, how is the floor clean but the soap dirty?” 

Eren leaned over, “Why do feet smell but noses run?” 

Levi pulled Eren down into a sloppy open mouth kiss. He growled slightly as Eren tried to pull away, “Neshama, you’re so naughty when we’re in France.” Levi’s head fell to the side, a playful smirk in the corner of his mouth, “Have you ever thought about how there are more nipples in the world than people?” Eren blinked, “Bruh, that’s blowing my mind.” He got up off of Levi and Levi pouted, “Where are you going?” Eren smiled, “To call Jean and tell him that.” 

* 

Mila and Eren swapped recipes while they cooked and cleaned up the kitchen. Levi sat on the couch with Nikko and they talked politics lightly. Levi had been called by his friend at the school and told all about his inspiring son. He pulled him close and Nikko laid his head on his chest, “I love living here.” Levi hummed inside of his chest, “I love that you’re making more memories here.” 

Gisela came through the door with Aviva and they smiled and attacked Levi and Eren. They were so excited to see them after so long. Mila sat down and they had dinner together, talking and laughing. She occasionally looked at Nikko and smiled. He didn’t want this to end. But, soon Levi heard about her attack. He couldn’t continue eating and got up heading to his room. Gisela looked at her plate and then to Aviva, “Aviva and I are going to Austria for a school trip.” 

Mila stood up and went to Levi. 

She crawled on the bed and stroked his face. 

He turned his head to look at her, “You are a daughter of Abraham.” 

He held her hand against his face and she cried silently. 

* 

The bar was full, spray from someone spitting was on his skin. The music was loud. Hatecore was all the rage. He went outside into the field. The moon hung low on the horizon. He looked up, squinting. He wondered if she was looking at the same moon right now. 

He’d not been home in weeks for more than a few hours. His work at the hospital coupled with his work for the legion complicated it all. Mila still dated a slew of boys. If he was his vati or daddy he might even follow her or try to learn who they were. But, he was his aba through and through. She wasn’t ever meant for him. She and Bellamy had dated for a while but it wasn’t serious and the parents were more invested than the children. 

She was so focused and while Bellamy wasn’t lazy he tended to enjoy life more and was much more relaxed. Mila was always focused and steadfast in her beliefs and choices. He felt a hand on his shoulder, “Heil Hitler.” Nikko drank some of his beer, “We’ve decided that you should go to the Afd (Alternative for Germany) political meeting and meet some of our friends. You’re the educated Nazi here.” 

Nikko nodded. He’d infiltrated the neo Nazi movement quickly. He was a nobody, able to slip in and people just assumed he’d always been there. It wasn’t until they started to notice his talents that he got them. They always asked him for explosive hook ups, hacking, and speech writing, “We need an opening statement. Could you do it?’ He nodded and the guy laugh pushing on him playfully, “You sure can write!” 

* 

Gisela sat on his bed and wept. She missed Judah. He missed the days when he was little and France wasn’t as antisemitic. She’d laughed when he’d said it, “It always was. We were just children.” He grimaced, “I wish we were still considered children.” They’d called their parents and now they resigned themselves to the issue at hand. Jews were no longer full citizens in the country. 

Gisela laid down and cried more, “I miss Judah. I miss Zev!” He called Zev and she sputtered and sobbed harder. When he picked up he handed her the phone. It was the least he could do. 

* 

Mila was so tired, “Potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, dried potatoes, rotten potatoes….” She combed through the cabinets looking for things she could make food from for the rest of the week. She sat back and cried pitifully into her hands. When the moment passed she resolved herself. She got up and put on her jacket. When she went out she started visiting places that she knew owed her favors. 

After a few hours she had more food than they’d had in weeks. But, now, she owed favors to some less than accommodating people. It was passover. She looked down at her bag of food and sighed, “Chametz, chametz everywhere.” She started thinking of how she could cook without violating Pesach dietary laws. When she got home she came up with a way to make it happen. 

Nikko was limping, his lip bleeding. He’d colored his hair and then colored it back. He worried she’d be able to smell it. He’d washed his hair but she was smart. Inside of the apartment he saw a wet headed Gisela and a bruised Aviva. They looked submissive and dazed. Both girls had gone to Italy and done various other things to keep them safe. Money was pooled together and kept with Mila. Aviva looked up at him, “Mila has set up a seder. Gisela and I forgot it was pesach.” She looked ashamed of it. 

Nikko’s legs were jelly. He looked at the beautiful table before him. 

He sat down numbly in the chair. 

He thought about what he’d just done. 

He’d written the speech, went to the political rally. It was all very simple. He smiled, laughed, and blended in. He was a nobody. 

So no one noticed him place the suitcase under the car next to the door or the bomb he put on the podium. No one noticed that the locations of hostages had been leaked and were now being extracted. They had no idea that every day they missed him as a spy he found more ties to the Madame and their organization. 

He’d killed over one hundred and twenty. 

Now he was at seder. 

Fuck, who was he? 

But, one look at the bruises on Aviva’s neck and the way Gisela’s eyes were unfocused as the vibrating phone in her pocket never ceased made him pause. He was weak, they were starving. All of them had cheekbones that could cut someone. He thought of Zev and the care packages he sent. He prayed for him. 

Mila sat down and she looked radiant. Her eyes moved to his and then her brow furrowed, “Why have you dyed your hair?” She sounded very disappointed. He flushed, “I….I had a lot of grey hairs and I….it was a moment of vanity since I was having pictures taken for the directory at the hospital.” She seemed to understand that she’d made him shy, “Sorry, I like your hair and grey would only make you look distinguished.” Gisela placed her hands on the table, “I think grey would make you look more handsome.” She smiled and he snorted, “Shush.” 

Aviva laughed, “I agree. You’d look like a silver fox.” 

Mila looked to him, “Should we start?” 

Nikko nodded, “Yes, Gisela?” She found the lighter, “Let’s revisit our time in bondage. And not the fun kind, either.” 

They all chuckled. 

* 

Nikko had been beaten to almost death and was in the hospital healing while Mila checked his charts. She sat down next to him, “Nikko?”Her hand found his. Jacob quietly entered, “Mila? How is he?” Jacob knew he was terrible but still, “He’s going to make it but, it’s bad.” Jacob sat down, “Hopefully, this won’t happen again.” 

But it did and often. 

Nikko was coming out of a coma. He’d infiltrated another cell but there was a terror attack. It was a blur. He heard prayers and his fingers moved but not much. He rolled his head to the side and then opened his eyes. It was painful but he saw a blur of her. Mila was crying, she looked devastated. He couldn’t speak and then he noticed the breathing tube. He groaned and the women who were with her praying stopped. Mila stood up as a woman called for the doctor. She took his tube out, “Nikko! Don’t act out. Please stay calm. You were in an attack but you’re here and healing. Please, don’t go away!” 

She leaned over and kissed his forehead. Jacob was there, cut and bruised. Nikko noticed he’d been burned, part of his hair singed off one side of his head. Nikko also had burns. He wasn’t for the first time thankful for his ability to heal. Gisela was there with Aviva in their dance clothes. She looked at Mila who was now resting her face next to his hand and sobbing. 

The women were Jewish and he felt comforted. It was odd, though. He didn't know any of them. 

* 

Zev was there. He fixed the tile in the hallway that had been destroyed by looters trying to get into their apartment. They now had a security system in place with fingerprint readers. People frequently went missing now and Gisela and he had been having all sort of strange conversations. Nikko was still recovering from his injuries and was in his bedroom. 

Mila worked and worked. Zev took over getting food and picked up for Nikko as he recovered. He’d lost his leg and now it was forming back but slowly and painfully. Mila appeared at the edge of his bed, “How are you?” Nikko thought about how he was so close to having the Madame in jail and out of power, “I’m fine. As fine as I can be, Mila.” She had a book, “A little novel on Commodus.” He smiled, “I love Rome. Thank you.” She exhaled, “I don’t want to go yet.” 

He looked at her, unsure what she meant, “You don’t ever have to leave me?” She sat down on the bed and laid down, “How did you sleep?” He grimaced, “My leg was working overtime. It hurts a great deal.” She looked at him and he thought she might cry, “You were dead.” He turned to look at her, “I know. But, I came back.” She was still so sad looking it made his heart hurt, “You know what?” She sounded pitiful, “What?” 

“I’m a vampire.” 

She laughed, “Really?” 

He laid back down, “Yeah. I’m a vampire.” 

She rolled over to face him more, “Do you want to drink my blood?” 

He contemplated it, “Yes. It would probably taste better than the most expensive wine.” 

She blushed and he knew he’d made things weird, “How is your beau?” 

She shrugged, “Things are good.” She didn’t sound like things were good, “Mila, you don’t sound happy.” She shook her head, “I’m not.” Nikko’s face amused her, “Then don’t date him! Why be unhappy? You’re an amazing person and beautiful woman. You don’t need him.” She touched his face, “C-can I see your leg?” He looked at her, “Why do you want to see something that’s going to upset you so much?” 

She had a tear in her eye, “Because I saw them bring you in when you had no clothes on and I just….I need to see.” He moved the covers back and she looked down slowly. Her fingers reached out to touch the end of his mid thigh. He’d not had anything. His hip socket exposed. He’d lost so much blood she’d thought Gisela would have died giving as much as she did. She touched it, “It’s only half a thigh but better than the nothing I had. It’s still steaming hot so be careful.” He took her hand and kept her from getting too close to the end. 

She closed her eyes as he held his hand. 

“I will try to keep food coming in. Nikko, I promise to take care of us.” 

She had a passport not marked and they were rare. 

“Don’t ever put yourself in unnecessary danger, Mila.” 

* 

“Mila?” Jacob walked up, “How are things?” She had a bruised face and there were people dead in the streets from hunger now. She looked at him, “Things are going.” He frowned, “Nikko?” She took a cigaret from his hand, “We haven't enough food for him to speed his recovery. He’s slow going.” Jacob handed her a package to deliver, “Where is he at?” She blew smoke out of her nose, “Knee.” 

He seemed off, “Jacob, I put in a request to know more information about Nikko but it was denied. Why deny my request to know about a civilian?” Jacob’s hands were tied. Mila and Nikko didn’t know they worked for the same people. 

“His story must involve another agent.” 

_Yeah, me. But she can’t ask about other agents_

She looked around and they saw the TV screen in one of the stores change. 

_“All Christians will need proof from the church in order to…”_

_Mila panicked, “What?!”_

_Jacob held her hand, “Why panic, Mila?”_

_Mila couldn’t breathe, “I have to renew my passport and now I must show I am a Christian?” He looked at her, “Are you not anymore?” Mila didn’t answer. Jacob inhaled, “Oh,” he pulled her close and tried to just be there to help her, “then that complicates things. I do not know if we can help you.”_

_“Why? We can do anything?”_

_“It’s best that that is not what we have to do, Mila. I am sorry. Once you’ve been marked you’ll not be able to work for us as you have.”_

_“I will not pretend to be something I am not.”_

_“Then you will not be a spy for much longer.”_

_“Shut up, Jacob.”_

_*_

_She ran to her temple, her shoes echoing on the floor. He was there, “Mila, go! GET OUT!” How had he found her? “Stop, Sven! I need to go inside.” Sven was her partner, “If they see you come inside they will know and they will go investigating!” He pushed her harshly against the wall. Sven was rough and cold. He was her least favorite partner and he was cruel. “Why would you do it?”_

_Sven pushed her again. “I told them I never wanted to work with you.” Her words were cold and honest. He had pursued her for years and wanted to be her partner and more. She’d hated him from the start. He gripped her and drug her to his car slamming her inside. His words were harsh, he hated that she’d done what she’d done._

_He said she’d ruined his life._

_Why did people always think that what other people did affected them? It isn’t about them._

_He got to her apartment and she panicked, “Don’t you fucking dare. Don’t you dare do what you’re trying to do!”_

_He hit her, ripping her seat belt off, “I don’t understand how you could throw all the things we were helping you with away and for what? A religion? You know better. I heard you were raised in the church. How can a smart girl like you do all this seeking and knowledge searching and come to this?!” He pulled her out of the car and into the building. She screamed but people were used to it and they would not come outside._

_He took her to the elevator and pushed her finger against it. She was unsure what was happening and then it clicked. She slammed him against the elevator, “You’re a scoundrel!” He grabbed her pulling her down the hallway, “I want it.” She tried to wrench herself free, “You won’t get it!” He kicked the door nearly off it’s hinges. Nikko was on crutches, in an open white shirt and white linen boxers on, his leg still cut off at the calf. He looked absolutely shocked and then the two men locked eyes, “What are you doing here in my home?”_

_Mila stopped just behind him and Sven stumbled over his words, “I’m Mila’s boyfriend. I’ve left something here and it’s important.” Nikko’s eyes were lethal and trained on him, “You have never been here and you will not stay.” Sven didn’t worry too much about a legless man. He pushed forward looking for a sign of her room. She grabbed a knife and Nikko surged forward on his crutches. He grabbed his gun he’d kept hidden and placed it in his hands moving on the crutches till he let them fall and hopped._

_Nikko’s gun was raised and now against Sven’s head. Mila’s room had been locked and he caught him at the door, “Get the fuck out.” Sven looked at him, “What are you going to do?” Mila’s knife was raised, “Leave, it isn’t yours.” Nikko’s voice was calm, “Did he leave that mark on your face?” She didn’t reply and Nikko took that as a yes, “I was going to let you leave.” He shot him. She screamed but recovered quickly, the knife falling on the floor._

_Nikko’s leg was healed._

_He figured his need to survive and protect had forced it to make the leap._

_Mila stared at him and then slowly closed her eyes, “I’ll call Jacob.”_

_Nikko looked at her, “Jacob? Oh….”_

_***_

_Nikko sat at the table with his tea in his hand while Mila sat across from him. Jacob sat down and relaxed, “So, now you two know you work for the same people.” Mika looked up at Nikko, “Now I know where you’ve been for so long.” He nodded, “But, I don’t think we do the same thing, Mila.” Jacob nodded, “You do not. You work in different areas and that’s how it needs to stay. Mila, Nikko is working on destroying the backbone of the right in our country that is funding terrorism here and abroad. He works on finding those related to the Madame and he has done a fine job. He kills when we ask him and he is now in charge of a few others making him a valuable asset.”_

_“He will soon reach a level where he can do his own things on the side as a main contact. Mila is a carrier and researcher. She offers us information and carries packages and such in order for protection and opportunities. She is our best and works non-stop. Her partners have been some of the most difficult in our organization and yet, she has always made it work. She also helps smuggle people and arranges for hiding places and money donations….well, donations is a little too nice for what they are but you get the point.”_

_Nikko looked at the table, “Why can’t we work together?”_

_Jacob shrugged, “Two different departments.”_

_Nikko looked up at her, “Your boyfriends?”_

_She looked ashamed, “Only two were really boyfriends.”_

_Nikko felt hot suddenly, “Oh.”_

_Jacob pressed his hands on the table, “But, Mila, you know that I have come to think of you and Nikko as real friends. I don’t care but obviously there is something you are hiding in your room that Sven found out about. I need you to tell me what it is. Once I know, I can decide how we can fix the potentially dangerous situation you’re in.”_

_She looked at Nikko and cringed, “It has to do with you, Nikko. I’m so sorry. I’ve been using you in my studies and I’ve been doing it since you started your practicum with me.”_

_Nikko thought about Gisela and how she’d be home very soon, “Why me?” She frowned, “When Gisela asked you to open the...you know….bank vault….”_

_*_

_Gisela woke up, her hair messy, her legs bruised from being pushed around and hit on the streets. They really were not healing as well since they were starving. She walked into his room as he sat down from his shift, “Let's look in the wall.”_

_“Gigi, let it go. Judah was told that in a moment of panicked hysteria.” She didn't move, “Let's look.” He groaned and she tapped her foot on the ground, “I'll ask Mila to help.”_

_He stood up, “She's sleeping! Let her alone!”_

_“Brother, you've got it worse than aba when it comes to her.”_

_“She worked nearly 48 hours.”_

_“You by her side!”_

_He changed as she waited, “Judah would wear that.” He smiled a little, “I love him.” She took his hand and led him to the kitchen._

_It was where vati had said. They opened the box and it was like a whirlwind. Mila came to get water. She was barely awake, “Nehemiah?” He loved his name the way she said, “Mila, we must go to the bank. Will you be fine?” She shook her head, “That's a photo of my mother. I am going with you.”_

_Gisela put a coat on, “Let's go before curfew.” Jews and other minorities couldn't be out past 8. Regular citizens could stay out till 10. It was horrible for night owls like they were. Mila often walked alone or Nikko braved jail and bodily harm to go with her. He couldn't get over the fact she sometimes had cuts and bruises._

_Mila and Nikko kept closer as they walked. Gisela noticed it. She frowned, hoping her brother wasn’t getting his hopes up. However, Mila did seem to be going through boyfriends like they were tissues. “What do you think is in the bank?” Mila’s words were hushed. Nikko’s kippah was a loud statement. She pulled on his arm and tried to take the side by the street but he wouldn’t let her, “A woman never walks closest to the road.”_

_Gisela frowned, “Mila, you can walk with me if his kippah is too much.” She shook her head, “No, I’m fine.” When they got to the bank Gisela opened the door and did all the talking. Nikko pulled at his collar, “Do you think that the plague could come back?” Mila nodded, “I’ve been waiting for you to ask me.” Nikko looked down at her, “You look very pretty today.”_

_“With my dark circles under my eyes?”_

_“I see no dark circles.”_

_“Shut up, Nikko. But, thank you.”_

_Gisela waved for them to come into the locked vault and Nikko handed her the key. When the vault opened they found boxes and boxes with information spewing forth. They couldn’t understand all of what they found but they did come across a few things they could use. “This...work is from someone in the US but the name has been redacted.” Mila showed Nikko._

_He took the paper and saw the topics, “Blood...that’s interesting.” Mila’s hands were shaking, “I...let’s look at this at home.” Nikko nodded and Gisela packed up various things to help speed up the process. Nikko handed most of the important things to Mila and they left the bank._

_On the way back Nikko and Gisela were stopped._

_Mila acted quickly, reaching up to rip his kippah off. She shoved it in her inner pocket and he gave her a shocked glance when the officers started yelling and taunting._

_Their passports were inspected. Nikko was punched after slapping a lecherous hand away from his sister. They barely made it. Mila’s stomach clenched as they looked at hers and then reminded her to renew it. She was looked down on for being with the Jews. She wanted to throw up. One of the officers punched Nikko in the stomach before leaving. Gisela looked like she could kill. Mila watched his face as he took it all with grace and dignity. How did he do it?_

_She was weak._

_She was a fraud._

_A taxi stopped and they got inside. Gisela had money from Zev and was able to buy them food before they quickly ran to their apartment where the taxi let them out. Nikko had started reading the paper as Gisela set to cooking. Mila was acting so strangely that Gisela came to him, “Nikko, something is wrong.” He nodded, “She’s just upset because of what happened.”_

_Gisela didn’t doubt that was part of it but still._

_Nikko fell back into his exploration of the doctor who believed blood could hold powers and memories as well as life saving enzymes and, _I wonder if I can use this?_ He flipped through the pages of other parts of the document. He saw a familiar name, _Levi Ackermann of Maria University is the recipient of the Yeager award for blood benefits. He is also the recipient of an endorsement from the Reiss corporation. The Reiss corporation is the controversial pharmaceutical and legal arm of the Reiss empire. Though the award is prestigious and Dr. Ackermann is much deserving, those at the university of this publication note that without them releasing the rights for him to study Dr. Grisha Yeager’s work he would have been unable to. Gabriel Smith, current dean, said…”__

_  
_

Nikko pulled his laptop out to look at his own father’s work. He’d never thought to do that before and felt off for having never done it. Hanji’s name was so closely linked he soon found himself down a rabbit hole. With each click he found out more and more. He made notes haphazardly on a the pad next to him. Time slipped on by. 

“What?!” Gisela’s yell was jarring. He moved back from the computer. 

“You did that and didn’t tell anyone?!” 

Nikko appeared, “What’s going on?” 

Gisela looked at the ground, “Mila has been giving money to the police to make sure that when you cross to the school nothing happens to you. But, now they want more money.” 

Mila looked ashamed, “I’m just tired of worrying. I can’t not do something.” Her phone rang and she took the call. Nikko knew it was her boyfriend. Gisela was still off but she gave him a look, “Reiss, I think that they’re who we can feel inside.” She laid out some papers and photos, “See, there’s something to this.” 

And there was something to the Reiss family. 

Now, he was standing in the hallway, his leg reformed but weak while she looked at him sadly, “Your blood is what I’ve been looking at. What we’ve been looking at.” Nikko paused, “What is your hypothesis?” She looked down, “That you’re linked to the Reiss family but your blood has special mutations that make it immune to their influence. We think something is in the water.” 

“Why?” 

“Gisela’s theories prove true.” 

Nikko felt ill, “Well, we’re going to have to learn more about that.” He was calm, collected, it was like he’d not just shot someone in their home. She nodded, “You’ll help me research it?” He smiled a little, “Of course. I also want to speak with the legion about, perhaps, letting me begin my own investigations.” Jacob snorted, “I always enjoy seeing the determined and cut throat Nikko.” Mila laughed shortly, “He’s perfect, isn’t he?” 

She realized what she sounded like and blushed. Jacob grinned and Nikko smiled awkwardly. She looked at him, “You smile like uncle Levi: pained and awkward.” 

* 

Mila and Nikko were in the lab. Sometimes they slept there since leaving at night was against the law if past curfew and sometimes it was too dangerous in general. Dr. Petit had given him credit and hours to move him along. He took over many of his own patients. Nikko Ackermann was making a name for himself and so was Mila Zacharius. Together, they were keeping the faith alive that perhaps, coexistence was possible. 

Little did they know that Nikko was now running a small network of individuals who were researching the Reiss family and their ties to all the horrific things that had happened in the past. Nikko and Gisela worked through the bank and managed to place them at the center of many world tragedies. “The Holocaust…” Gisela wiped her face while Nikko moved closer, “The dark ages.” 

She pressed her face against his shoulder, “You disappear and I see tickets for Germany.” He was still working the alt-right circuit, “Shush, Gigi. I’m fine. Listen, I can’t keep taking your blood and Ezra is sending over some samples.” She opened a box, “Judah’s blood is in here.” He frowned, “Ugh, I don’t know if I can use it.” She recoiled, “I’m tired. I need to find Zev.” He pulled her back against him, “Don’t be like that, sweet sister.” 

She was fidgeting, “Will you walk with me to the temple down the street from the apartment? I need to go to the mikveh.” He stood up, “I wouldn’t mind praying.” He walked her out and they kept close to each other. Their passports were marked. They were marked. Gisela was beautiful and he worried about her and Mila. Aviva was enough to give him a heart attack. Judah had stormed into her dorm room the last time he was able to come to prove a point that she wasn’t safe. 

She’d slapped him and cut his cheek with her nail. 

Nikko held her hand, “Sometimes, I wish I was closer to you.” Gisela looked at him, “Are we not close?” He looked down at the sidewalk, “You are precious to me.” She kissed his cheek and smiled, “What do you and Zev talk about?” Nikko sighed. They talked about Reiss family ties, “Nothing really. Books.” She slowed him down and he saw women with wet hair leaving the temple. He averted his eyes for politeness but then Gisela’s nails dug into his skin. 

He hissed sharply and looked up. His face was contorted in pain. 

He locked eyes with her. 

His heart thudded painfully in his chest, “Mila.” 

She was frozen, wet hair stuck to the side of her face. Gisela let go of his hand, “Let’s go inside, brother.” He couldn’t move. 

He just stared at her. 

Inside of the temple he sat but he could not pray. 

His heart beat… 

_Mila, Mila, Mila, Mila….._

_*_

_At home she took another shower, closing her eyes and thinking about what she might say to him._

_She stepped out and heard Gisela’s voice. It was best that she turn on the hairdryer and delay seeing him. How would she explain to them that she’d done something so personal and never told them. How would she explain….herself?_

_Gisela left, she heard the door close._

_When she emerged she pulled on a sports bra, boy shorts, and an oversized tshirt. She was at home. She just wanted to be comfortable._

_He was in the kitchen, cup of tea next to him, paper in his hand, clothes still on from the day. She stopped and he lowered the paper, “This is why you were worried about the passport. I understand now.” He put the paper down and checked his watch, “I’m sorry.” She looked at him in shock, “For what?” He started to slowly leave, “For seeing you in a intimate moment. I now know what you were doing on Fridays and it was private and I have violated that privacy.”_

_He went to his room, slightly flustered and embarrassed. He just didn’t know what to say. He’d always felt sad that the woman he loved was so out of his league and even a different religion than him. It was kind of a secret shameful fantasy he’d had that she’d become Jewish. He felt such immense guilt. He couldn’t stand himself._

_He pulled his clothes off, tossed them on an ottoman, and got under the covers._

_He hid his face in the pillow and whinned._

_She was so utterly beautiful._

After a while the door opened and he felt her presence at the side of the bed. He opened his eyes and she was peering down at him. She moved forward on the bed and he rolled back and over to give her room. She lifted the covers and faced him, pressing against him. Her face showed a full range emotions, “I can’t do it anymore.” She reached forward and brought his lips to hers. 

_He kissed her._

_She kissed him._

_They were kissing._

_Nikko’s heart and head were at odds._

_But he wanted this so badly._

_He pulled her closer, his body was burning. She opened her mouth and allowed him to deepen the kiss as his hands moved downwards to pull at the hem of her shirt. He pulled it over her head, breaking their lips. Her breasts were quickly uncovered and he felt like he was fourteen again when all of the boys in the family noted that Mila was much more blessed than any of the other girls they knew. She laughed nervously, noting his stare. He blushed._

It was very _them._

_She returned to kissing him, small sighs of satisfaction and whimpers in the back of her throat as he gained confidence. He pressed her on her back, moving over her and between her legs. She carded her fingers through his hair, breathing him in. It was quickly becoming more desperate, more intimate. She felt like sobbing. He wanted to scream he was so relieved it was all finally happening._

_Her arms were around his neck keeping his face against her’s. His hands smoothed up her sides and cupped her breasts. He kept kissing her, his tongue finally exploring and tasting Mila Zacharius._

_He pulled her panties down and with some maneuvering they were on the floor followed by his. She wanted to be as close to him as possible and tell him everything she shouldn’t. Nikko was nervous, shaking. She was shaking, too. She felt like he was hesitating so she changed their positions, straddling his lap and guiding him inside._

_Nikko made a small sound in the back of his throat while she gasped._

_She moved her hips and he gripped her, breathless._

_She leaned back over him and kissed him while they moved quickly, cautiously, against each other._

_He flipped them and pressed his face into the crook of her neck while she wrapped her arms around his neck. He could feel a wetness on his face. He didn’t mind it._

_It was intimate, comforting, fated, restless, and more._

_He loved Mila so much his heart was having palpitations. She couldn’t believe she was sleeping with Nehemiah Ackermann, a poet and righteous man._

_When it was over it was like waves crashing on the shore._

_She held onto him tightly, afraid he'd leave her._

_He pressed his face into her skin and settled on top of her, between her legs and in her embrace._

_He loved her._

_She loved him._

_Why had it take so long to get here?_

He realized she was crying. That was okay because he was, too. 

She relaxed a bit, her arms falling to the side. He sat up more to look at her and she wiped his tears, “I love you. I don’t know when it happened but it must have been when I came home for Christmas my first semester. I remember something different, a certain feeling. Then, it grew and I slowly realized that I had been in love with you for a long time.” 

He laughed nervously, “I think you’re just in love with my father.” 

She smiled a little shamefully, “I am and that’s why I hated you.” 

Nikko laughed, “You really did and it broke my heart.” 

“But, then one day I realized that I was really just too young and I couldn’t break up Eren and Levi. I was actually really depressed.” 

Nikko’s cheeks were pink, “Oh goodness. What brought you out of the depression?” 

“I realized that uncle Levi made a better version of himself. Unfortunately, this version was too young!” 

Nikko kissed her, “I thought you were so mature and would never give a skinny kid like me the time of day.” 

She blushed, “Shut up.” 

He kissed her and she closed her eyes. 

They stayed in bed for the rest of the day. Hands held or touching places on the other’s skin in soft whispers. “I never thought those poems were about me. I’m speechless.” He kissed her shoulder, “You leave me speechless.” 

“I found a home at the synagogue here and then I found myself searching and searching. I felt like there was something missing and sometimes theology and medicine don’t mix. Things about my father never sat right with me and I thought, well, I can just go about my life living a pretty Jewish lifestyle without converting but….I’m sorry, explaining this is so difficult because it’s so….It wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough just to be near I had to be in it. I believed it and I felt it move inside of me like it had always been there. I felt it there; growing like a plant that was being watered.” 

“I’ve been observant these years and try to keep a strict code to hold myself accountable. If I must miss the Sabbath, I choose another day to observe. I go every Friday to the mikveh because it helps me. The ritual helps me and you. Our OCD is lessened by it and sometimes…” 

“Made worse.” He smiled. 

She smiled back, “I’m so sorry I’ve hidden everything from you. I’m sorry to say we must still hide things from others but I don’t want to ever hide from you again.” He kissed her hand, “I just want you. I just want you, Mila. I need you. You understand me.” Mila kissed him again, “No, you understand me.” 


	177. The Lead

“NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Gisela had found out about the secret conversion and Nikko made her promise not to tell. Mila was now reacting to his request the way he’d imagined. Gisela was trying to help. Aviva was in Russia working for a month. She missed her horribly but was glad that this was just between the siblings. “I WON’T DO IT!” Nikko looked at Gisela. She’d been the one that asked first. 

“Mila, you’ll lose your freedom. Go to the church that your mother showed you. The preacher will give you, a beautiful girl in a foreign country, a certificate.” Mila’s lip trembled, “Please...it would be like dying.” She turned to Nikko and looked to him for the last say. Gisela closed her eyes, cringing. He felt such pressure to give in but he needed to save her, “You must do this.” 

She would go to the church, get her proof of gentile heritage, and then go to have her passport renewed and keep all of her privileges at the school, hospital, and in general. They took her to the church and waited in the shadows, “I think that Zev is right and we need to look deeper into the vault.” Nikko’s heart was hurting so much. Gisela took his hand, “Did her boyfriend break up with her or did she break up with him?” Nikko looked at the ground, “I don’t know for sure.” 

“Why are you acting so weird, brother?” 

“I am killing her with my selfishness.” 

Gisela pulled him closer, “I wish you could see how much good you’re really trying to do.” Nikko grit his teeth, “I use my brothers and sisters as test subjects.” She looked him in the eye, “You know another plague is coming back.” Nikko nodded, “It’s just science, G.” 

*** 

They were keeping their relationship to themselves while working intently on the blood. Gisela had given and Judah, but Ezra was who was helping the most. They were now all that was left in France of their family. The travel bans were lifted and Oskar and Hanji often called and came to see Mila. They had missed her beyond words. Nikko often went on business trips for the legion but he didn’t always tell Mila since he was making his own group to help assist him in finding the Reiss family members in Europe. 

They worked late hours only to return home to rationed food and odd curfews. Nikko would lean against the windows and look at the skyline and tower. She would move behind him, picking up their lives, washing clothes, and cleaning. Only after she was finished would she come up behind him to hold on to him, “Tomorrow they’re having a protest.” Nikko grabbed her arms and pulled them tighter, “Let’s go.” 

Mila smirked, “Really?” 

Nikko smiled softly, “Yeah, we’re protest people.” 

“Since when!?” 

He turned around in her arms, “Since we work for the government and are actively trying to overthrow Madame Penen. I can’t stand that woman.” Mila gave a coy look, “The gossip magazines say she’s in love with President Reiss.” Nikko looked just like his father, utterly disgusted, “I hope to never hear that again.” She giggled and kissed him, “Take me to bed, Nehemiah.” He picked her up, “Of course, my sweet Mila.” 

Mila and Nikko were very physical beings. Their bodies spoke when words alone couldn't. Plus, Nikko was talented, to say the least, in making Mila writhe with his tongue alone. She was a very happy woman. 

* 

Mila held his hand at the protest while the crowed yelled and walked through the city peacefully. She looked around and touched her stomach. She’d had digestive issues lately. Jacob had been getting them lard to cook into their food for more calories. Jacob was an asset but there was something more to him. 

“Do you think we should invite Jacob to dinner one night?” Mila hummed thinking, “Of course. We really should.” There was suddenly yelling and then the crowd pushed back on them. Nikko grabbed her to keep her close, “Mila, get behind me.” There was a man, illuminated by the light of the street. Nikko saw him violently coughing and pulled his scarf up and over his mouth before doing the same to Mila. He pulled her and started running. 

More and more people started coughing around them. Nikko’s legs were burning as he ran. She was against him and keeping up well as the coughing echoed around them. 

cough 

cough 

cough 

cough 

* 

Inside their house they watched the news. People were attacking each other, driven crazy by the new plague. They acted like zombies in some way and that made both of them groan. The sensational headlines were outlandish and made fear rise. Nikko and Mila were asked to come to the hospital but their street was cut off. Her stomach was killing her, “I’ll use the bathroom and then we’ll escape.” 

He kissed her, “Okay.” 

* 

On the roof the street looked much more menacing, “Well, have you been practicing your krav maga?” She hit him, “This is crazy.” They were going to jump a few roofs to a place where Dr. Petit had officers waiting to get them to the hospital. She took his hand, “I love you.” His heart was beating out of his chest, “I love you, too.” 

She jumped. 

He thought it was a good jump until- 

She slammed into the lip of the edge and grasped it sliding down. 

She yelled out but managed to pull herself up, “Nikko! It’s so much further!” He had nearly fainted, “MILA! I’m coming over.” He took a running start and jumped. He landed less than gracefully. She helped him steady himself and tried to look reassuring, “Well, it could be worse.” He stared, “We have to do that multiple more times.” They both set out and somehow managed to get to the hospital. 

* 

People were tied down to their beds and dying. It was horrible. However, Mila was alive with energy, “Do you think that we could look at the corpses and maybe glean some information?” He blinked, “I’d love that. Let’s go.” They were on point together and the more loud and excited she became, “LOOK AT THEIR ORGANS!” 

Nikko was staring, ‘Um...they’re gone.” 

Mila turned to him with a look that was the spitting image of her mother’s, “I KNOW! WHERE ARE THEY!?” She reached inside with her gloved hand only to pull it out squealing and jumping from one leg to the other, “HOT! HOT! HOT! HOT!” 

He blinked like his father, “That’s what you get. It’s disgusting in there.” 

She looked at him, “You love it.” 

He snorted, “Yeah.” 

* 

The amount of infected was under control but it stayed steady. Mila was helping a child in the daycare understand that their parents were sick when he appeared, “We’ll miss our flight.” She stood up, “It’s our plane.” He smiled, “Yeah, you’re right. I’m going to speak to Jacob.” He had him waiting in his office. His hair was messy and mouth covered. He pulled the mask down but Nikko waved for him to keep it on, “I’ve been a ward and I haven’t been disinfected.” 

“When you go to that states, are you working with your brother?” 

“Yes.” 

“What’s happened about the water tank or whatever that was?” 

“It’s been found.” 

“How?” 

“Let me take care of that.” 

Jacob sighed, “I’m really sorry your family is so….important.” 

Nikko smiled, “Me too. I’m worried about the lies I’ve had to weave. Madame Penen knows she’s being sold out.” Jacob was interested, “You think that’s so?” 

“I have a contact and I know that she wants more nuclear weapons.” 

“Shit….she….no.” 

“Yes, I was just as confused and upset.” 

“Nikko, what do you think of working with the military?” 

Nikko looked at his hands, “I….I don’t know. I’d have to think about it.” 

* 

Mila sat down in the seat of the plane reaching over to take his hand, “I love you.” He took her hand and kissed it softly, “I love you.” 

* 

Ezra looked wild, “It’s my fault.” Nikko placed a hand on his back, “Brother, what we’re dealing with you have nothing to do with.” He’d confessed he’d made whatever the Reiss virus was stronger but it wasn’t linked to what they had in France. Ezra and Nikko were in the formative stages of their research together. They were trying to understand the links between them and the Reiss family when Ezra offered it up, “I think I should start using myself as a control.” 

Nikko and Mila tried to dissuade him but it was no use, “Don’t even. You two are tired, dark circles under your eyes. You’re stressed out all the time and you make the best of it but I can see what’s happening. I’m worried you’re both involved in something that could get each of you killed.” It struck a nerve. Mila started to crumble, “Well, I guess if you want to you can do whatever it is you think will save the world.” 

Nikko gave her space but when they met up another day, they were staying at their respective homes while in Maria, he noted she was truly eat up with nerves, “What did Jacob ask you to do?” 

“To make things for the army like my father.” 

“Would you?” 

“Would I do it?” 

‘Yes.” 

“I don’t know. I think that we need something that will help us fight the Reiss family but this is difficult.” She leaned on him, “We have to go back to France.” He pulled her closer, “Okay.” 

* 

“I think that maybe you could help us reimagine the biochemical weapons we have and maybe-” 

“Absolutely not!” 

The man sat back in his seat. Jacob made a face, “I told you not to even try with Nikko. He’s not going to do anything like that for us or anyone else.” 

Nikko was red around the collar, “Right now, I am currently working on building a list of all Reiss individuals, all blood relatives. I am working on curing this plague, finding what radicalizes it. I know that there are shipments of Uranium heading to Egypt and that’s on my plate, too. My connection in the Aman does not know I spy on him and that’s important. I can’t always play my hand and expect not to get burned. I think that we know Madame Penen is behind something illicit other than just inciting Nazism in France. I need to find out what that is but I can’t while trying to pull out some Saddam Hussein's chemical bullshit. Also, have you ever heard of the Geneva convention? It’s a big deal!” 

Jacob and Nikko left to head back to the hospital, “What do you think she’s doing?” He kept walking, “I think she’s making the sickness flare up and remain.” He grit his teeth, “I need access to the companies around all of the ports. I need access to security cameras all over the city.” Jacob raised his eyebrows, “Mila is looking very pretty lately. Have you noticed? She has such a glow about her and I think it’s because of you.” 

He was really upset, “I’m going to send her to the US.” Jacob paused, “We need her. I wouldn’t do it.” Nikko turned to him, “I’ll make it worth your while. Put her under me. I need a document carrier.” 

”Where are you delivering, Nikko?” 

“America, specifically. My brother is working on things and her parents are now suspicious.” Jacob rolled his eyes, “A plague breaks out and you send Mila away...I think it’s pretty obvious what you’re doing.” Nikko sneered, “What if I could promise Madame Penen’s head on a platter?” 

There was nothing but the sound of the street around them. “What happened, Nikko? What has happened that makes you so sure you can deliver that.” Nikko had heard all about Hanji and Oskar being pulled out of the hospital and held against their will to die when the city was on the verge of becoming a ghetto. He didn’t want to go into his hypothesis on the street just yet, “I’ll tell you at home.” 

Mila limped into the kitchen when they arrived. She applied ice to her ankle. She’d twisted it falling asleep while walking down the stairs. Jacob looked at them as Nikko rushed to her, “I heard you fell. Let me look.” She pushed him away, “Stop! I’m fine. I need rest and for my stomach to stop hurting.” He placed a hand on her stomach but she playfully pushed him away, “I’m not your patient!” 

They had dinner and Jacob asked if it would be okay to crash. They welcomed him into their home but, “Um, well, sometimes I sleep in Nikko’s room.” 

“I know you two are dating.” 

“Shush, you know nothing.” 

Mila smiled slyly, “What’s going on with you and Catherine?” Jacob sputtered, “Oh my, please don’t turn on me.” Nikko loved it, “Tell me about Catherine!” Mila leaned across the table, “She’s Jewish.” Nikko looked at Jacob with surprise, “You’ve decided to date a member of my tribe?” Jacob drank more, “Stop, she’s a florist. She’s beautiful and not interested in me at all.” Mila shook her head, “She goes to temple with me, you know. She’s definitely into you.” Jacob blushed, “Like, how into me?” Mila rolled her eyes, “Like, really into you and you should totally talk to her and date her.” 

They spoke about things until Mila fell asleep. Nikko carried her into the bedroom, closing the door quietly. 

Unfortunately, there was a bomb explosion somewhere in the city. She didn’t wake up but since Nikko had only been asleep for an hour or two he did wake. He went into living room and Jacob was there, “It woke me up.” He took a deep breath, “Gunna head to the hospital soon.” Nikko shook his head, “I’m not.” Jacob snorted, “I’d stay with the woman I loved, too.” 

* 

More infected meant less time for trips out of the city. Jacob walked to the floral shop by his house and bought flowers. He then walked towards the shop closer to Nikko’s apartment and saw here, “Bonjour!” She turned around, a light blush to her cheeks, “Bonjour.” He handed her the flowers, “Could I take you out for a coffee?” She looked at the flowers and smiled. 

“You know, these flowers are poorer quality than mine.” 

He laughed, “I know, but could I have bought flowers from you and turned around and gave them to you?” 

She smiled, “You know Mila, right?” 

He smiled back, “I do!” 

She smelled the flowers, “Okay, I’ll get a coffee with you. But, I’m shomer negiah.” He stared, “Uh, I don’t understand.” She winked, “I don’t touch or kiss before marriage.” He thought about it, “Okay, I respect that.” 

She nodded and looked impressed. 

After a few dates, Jacob decided it was fate and asked her to marry him. She accepted and Nikko and Mila came to their engagement party. He wasn’t converting but he wasn’t against the welcoming community. 

Later they went out to a bar where Mila wore little and danced a lot. The punk music rocked the room and Catherine danced with Mila laughing wildly as she jumped up and down with a drink sloshing in her hand. Nikko drank his beer when Jacob turned to him, “You and Mila are the only real friends I have.” Nikko moved off his stool to hug Jacob, “You’re ridiculous, Jacob.” 

“Judas.” 

“Judas?” Nikko pulled back and Jacob was serious, “My real name is Judas….intense, right? I prefer my Jacob code name. But, I wanted you and Mila to know. I just want someone to know who I am, you know?” Nikko didn’t know what to say, “I mean, it’s an okay name as far as Judaism is concerned.” He smiled and Jacob laughed, “I know. But, my mother was really into Judas Priest. I really wished she’d not been so cool.” 

* 

“I’m not going.” She was crying and he felt horrible, ‘Mila, the plague spreads and I need someone in America. It makes sense!” She pushed on his chest. They were standing in the lab and she was embarrassed to be crying there. “Nikko, I don’t want to leave you or our work!” He placed his hands on her face, “It won’t be long. I’ve already signed you up for the lab where your mother worked. Daddy said it was okay.” 

She was so angry she left. He understood her reasoning. 

* 

She rolled over in her bed, hearing Hanji and Oskar talking after getting in from the night shift at the hospital. She started to wipe the stray tears from her eyes. Her hand went to her phone and she called him, “I miss you.” 

He leaned against the lab door. People were screaming in the background. The hospital was overflowing, “I miss you, my beloved.” 

She hung up and thought about it all. Here, the plague wasn’t a thing. In Paris, it was the best kept secret. Madame Penen had gagged the media, gagged the international press, threw money at allies in the UN for protection. It was a problem that was growing by the day. 

When the alarm went off she went downstairs to eat and prepare for the day. Oskar appeared and sat down with her, “How are things?” She looked at her plate, “They’re fine.” He pushed on her shoulder lightly, “You’ve been depressed. Is France your home and you’re home sick?” She nodded, “Maybe a little. I’m glad to be here with you and mom.” Oskar’s eyes were amused, “You know, we’re lacking in Ackermanns lately.” 

Mila rolled her eyes, “Hush.” 

“Vadimas says that Vared’s friends’ son is moving to Maria and he’s a doctor.” 

“No, stop. Uncle Levi told me I didn’t have to marry till I was forty.” 

“He’s a nice boy. Hungarian, too. I’m just saying.” 

“Let me guess, he does research that momma likes?” 

“I’ve found his research to be just as interesting as your mom. He’s got bright ideas.” 

“How does this relate to Ackermanns?” 

“You miss your roommate, Nikko.” 

“He...sucks.” 

Oskar started to chuckle, “That was very Levi-esque. Well, sweetheart, I’m going to go to bed with mom and maybe then “netflix and chill.”” 

She cut her eyes over, “That’s not what the kids say anymore, Apu (dad).” He kissed her forehead, “I still say it and I’m young and cool.” She hugged him, “I don’t want to meet the boy but he sounds nice.” He frowned, “He’s really smart, Mila.” 

“Stooooop. I’ll run away with the money Levi tries to give me.” 

“Oh, stop. You’re just like your mother. You have to help me get the ring, you know.” 

***************************** 

***Oskar and Hanji’s Wedding***

Gisela’s engagement party ended and the family turned their sights on the next wedding. Hanji and Oskar were already married and in true Hanji fashion, she didn't want a huge to-do. They rented out a [room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/3d/a2/26/3da226ed196fd04ac1ee5ec2b23db31f.jpg) at the synagogue with marble floors and mahogany accents. 

The food was catered by a collection of people from the community. Many who had been helped by the family. [Hanji](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/6a/d6/c1/6ad6c16de3a5d798d83f29d81607bd4c.jpg) stood with the girls in the family all dressed in white with large bouquets. They had a ceremony and then the party began. Oskar had wanted to include Mila in the ceremony but she just wanted it to be about them. 

The family ate and drank while [Oskar](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/16/53/6a/16536a7d8a2af8b13a4063195263971e.jpg) danced around the room with Mila and Hanji. Gisela and Sebastian thought of their upcoming wedding, sitting together and exchanging kisses. Judah and Aviva stared at each other in a very hostile manner. He approached, “Little bitch, are you drinking champagne?” 

“Fuck you.” 

“You wish. You should be at home knitting. Not at a party.” 

“I’ll knit you a noose.” 

“Fuck, yes, I’d love to see you in it.” 

“You disgust me, you fucking pig.” 

“You’re literally only good at sucking cock and getting money for it.” 

“Go call Zev and ask him if you can suck his cock.” 

“What?! Shut the fuck up.” 

“Don’t deny you don’t want to. I bet you have wet dreams all the time about taking my brother’s cock. You’re all “pussy pussy pussy” but that’s because you wish you were his pussy.” 

He slammed his drink down and the glass broke. She steadied herself for the fight, “Fucking bitch.” She lifted her chin to look down on him, “I think I hit a nerve. Leave my sight, peasant. I’m tired of looking at a man in need of charity.” 

She walked off, her dress moving around her small baby bump that was barely there but somehow all he could look at. 

It was worse because Zev had just started taking his calls again. 

He’d just started answering his, too. 

Maybe he did miss him. 

Gisela took his hand and asked him to dance. 

It was forgotten. 

Hanji looked at Oskar as their family and friends danced and mingled. She kissed him and he pulled back, “Are you happy, my love?” She nodded, “I’m so happy. I never thought I’d ever be this happy again. I love you.” He smiled, kissing her again while Vadimas passed with Vared in his arms. 

They went on their honeymoon, an Alaskan cruise. It was perfect. 

Mila was so happy when they skyped her and called her. 

It was perfect. 

*************************** 

Erwin walked into the office with a little kick in his step, “Mila! My favorite most beautiful niece in the world!” Mila leaned back from her microscope, “Uncle Erwin, I am working.” Ezra appeared, tired, out of breath, “I had to come here to pick something up?” Mila nodded and handed him a small envelope and pen, “Fill out the info and it’ll be hand delivered.” Cesare had called her to ask her to distract him. Ezra frowned, “I’m on vaaaaaacaaaatioooon!” Erwin brought him into a hug and then let him finish. 

She kept working but her soul was just not in it. She was sad, listless. She leaned back in the chair and closed her eyes. Erwin sat down next to her, “You know, you and Nikko are just so smart. It’s like, looking at Lee and Hanji all those years ago. Hey, remember when I was so sick?” She did and Nikko had often looked at his patients from behind glass with as helpless a face as he had with Erwin. 

“How is France? The news outlets tell us the plague is under control. I’d hate for it to pop up here.” She hadn’t told them anything because she was afraid. There were spies everywhere. “Yeah.” He knew she was sad and it was breaking his heart, “Do you miss Nikko?” She shrugged, “A little.” He smiled, “Remember when you two made that inhaler and saved my life?” 

Mila’s eyes widened and she reached over for the phone dialing Nikko, “Erwin, send your plane to get Nikko now.” Erwin leaned back and smirked, “Well, I didn’t know I set the fire of passion ablaze.” She looked at him, tired and annoyed, “I may have had a breakthrough and I need his help.” He frowned, “Well, I mean, I just thought maybe you two were-” 

“Uncle Erwin, I may have had a breakthrough.” She stood up and took his face in her hands, her eyes wild and serious, “THIS IS SCIENCE!” Science doesn’t care about the body or the fatigues on it. It doesn’t wait, either! Seize the moment! I NEED YOU DO THIS FOR ME OR I’LL DESTROY THIS LAB.” She let his face go and started running around the lab working and turning machines on and off while shuffling papers. 

She started yelling at aids who moved quickly. They feared her crazed energy when she was working and Erwin watched while texting his pilot in France. When he got up and left he could hear her yelling. Erwin drove home smiling about it all. 

Armin’s face was buried in a book with Zadkiel asleep on the couch next to him. He lowered it, “Erwin?” Erwin kissed him, “Mila is every bit her mother when working. She’s also grumpy like Levi. I rarely see any….you know….” Armin did. She didn’t really act like Mike that much. He stood up, “Wanna get dinner with Maxim and Ilya?” Erwin snorted, “Is it...dinner time?’ 

Armin shrugged, “Drinks can come before dinner, you know.” 

They went to Gio’s restaurant and waited for Ilya and Maxim to get there. Armin ordered a strong drink and Erwin got a coffee, “So, we’re going to invite everyone to Cesare and Ezra’s house on Saturday for a housewarming party.” Erwin nodded, “Why?” 

“Because, they need one.” 

“Can I get a new suit?” 

“Yeah, of course. What? Are you going to wear one you’ve never worn before that’s been in your closet? Forget about it.” Armin started to crack up. He waved his hand like “pssshaaaah” while Erwin laughed, “Armin, have you spoke with...you know?” 

“I have.” 

“What has he said?” 

“Well, he’s said strange things. Apparently, there was an attempted coup from a boy in Israel. He said he is watching the progress of some scientists in Paris.” Armin said the words slowly and Erwin nodded, “Oh, so our Nikko and Mila are catching some attention.” Armin sighed, “We should get security guards for them, Erwin. I’m afraid for them.” Erwin didn’t say no, “I think Mila is keeping something to herself.” 

“Are you referring to the strange trips out of state she takes, the late night phone calls, the fact her technology is encrypted, and the other stuff? I mean, what on earth is she doing.” Maxim and Ilya were walking in, “I’m scared she’s going to break.” Erwin was, too. 

“Iyla parked so far away. He thinks this is an open city and not a ghetto. Parking is first come first serve.” Ilya kissed Maxim while he squirmed to get away, “My Maxi is so cute.” Maxim patted his hand, “I think Ezra and Cesare should have a party for their home, you know?’ Armin smiled, “I was also thinking that!” Erwin and Ilya chatted while Maxim and Armin planned. 

After drinks and food, Erwin pulled Armin close as they taxied home. He kissed his head, “David says they’re going to ask us to all come to Israel to plan.” Armin opened his eyes, “I’m ready.” 

“Are you really?” 

“Yes.” 

“For what, baby?” 

“For it all….and then for me to face off against One Eye.” 

Erwin and Armin checked to make sure that Nikko had gotten on the plane and was heading to the US, “Levi and Eren will be so happy he’s coming.” Armin then looked very sad, “I wish Mila and Nikko were together.” Erwin chuckled, “That ship has sailed. Mila always has a boyfriend according to Aviva.” 

“Tuvia says Nikko is always traveling to Germany and Poland.” 

“He must have a lover, you know? He’s handsome like Lee.” 

Armin mocked his tone, “He’s handsome like Leeeeee.” 

“Hush, I haven’t seen him in a few days.” 

“Let’s do something fun.” 

“I think….you know.” 

“Oh HaShem….yeeeeeesssss.” 

Maxim and Ilya came over to their house because they wanted to keep enjoying their fun night. They didn’t think they’d mind, “I miss our kids.” Maxim frowned, “I miss them, too.” They heard yelling and laughing as they came into the house. It was coming from the backyard where Armin and Erwin were now sliding on a slip and slide they had made for their kids. 

Buying one wasn’t enough. They had to make one large enough for all the kids and then strong enough for Zev to not destroy or Judah to pick up and attempt to use as a weapon.

Ilya started to laugh loudly while pulling his shirt off, “Let’s go, Maxi!” 

Maxim rolled his eyes, “Don’t hurt yourself! WAIT FOR ME!” 

* 

Nikko made it to the lab when the aids were nearly in tears. She was running tests on all sorts of controls. He came inside, dressed comfortably. She turned around, her hair messy and wild. She had taken her shirt off and stood in compression shorts and a sports bra. He smiled fondly at her appearance. She’s obviously committed to her hypothesis. 

He told the aids to go into the other rooms and to not disturb them. He’d call for them and she’d stay in here working far away from them. They were thankful and excited. He locked the door. 

She was leaned over, her hands in gloves while she was working inside of one of the protective machines. He placed his hands on her hips, his lips on her shoulder leaving kisses while she tried to keep focus, “I need your spit.” He hummed, “Do you need a pure sample?” She turned around after slipping her hands out of the gloves, “It can be dirty for now.” She took his head between her hands kissing him back. 

He pressed her against the machine, his hands moving up her back and then one around to slide her sports bra up, “It’s just us in the lab.” She moved her hands down to start working on the buttons of his shirt, “I missed you.” He hummed, “I missed you, mami.” 

She rode him in the chair against the desk and he ate her out later on the floor. They talked between their love making, tongues tangling, hands moving up and down nubile skin. He moved his head closer to her’s, “You smell absolutely like you’ve not bathed in days.” She snorted, “I’ve been busy. Oskar makes me sleep.” 

He rolled on top of her, “God, how can the woman I love be so disgusting?” She smiled, “I’m not always.” He knew that was true. It was only when she really was captivated by work, “Plus, you fucking love cleaning me up with your tongue, Nikko.” She wrapped her legs around his waist and rolled her hips into his. 

“My theory is that, like with the disinfectant chambers at the airport, we need to make a spray like that that our first responders can use since they’re getting sick in larger numbers helping the sick. Then we make it like a vaccine!” Nikko was already thinking about it all, “Okay, so let’s use my spit like always.” She was in his lap, naked. He held her and pulled his lips across her shoulder, “I’m going to call Gisela and Tuvia.” 

She paused, “Tuvia?” 

“Yeah.” 

“What’s he got to do with any of it?” 

“He’s just concerned and I like to bounce ideas off of him.” 

“He isn’t qualified for science!” 

“He actually is and just didn’t tell anyone!” 

“Really?” 

“Yep.” 

She kissed Nikko sweetly, “Nehemiah Ackermann doesn’t say yep.” 

* 

They stood side by side looking into the hospital window with red puffy cheeks and raw eyes. Their bodies were weighted down, like they were made of lead. Their hands barely brushed against each other as they stood there, silent and morose. There was nothing worse than watching someone they loved succumb to this. 

Ezra was shaking, dirty, hair a mess, and his body fatigued and underweight. They’d been enjoying putting on a few pounds. Nikko had even made a few comments about Mila that had earned him a couple of warning slaps on the arms. But, now, they were looking at someone who was breaking apart because the person they loved was going to die. 

Nikko and Mila felt guilty. They should be working. 

Nikko had handed everything over to Ezra and Mila was sick at her stomach all the time. They were close to perfecting the spray and wanted to use it in Maria first. Maria was now under attack by the regular plague and now this new one. 

Nikko had become detached in some ways. 

She just wanted to go home and be together. 

It was horrible working and being so sad. 

But, they were used to it. 

“One day, Mila,” he stared at his crying brother, “I’m going to make the world pay for this.” 

* 

“We’re going back tomorrow. This must be done!” Nikko was red in the face, screaming. Mila was trying to convince the hospital clerks it was safe, “We know this will work. Please, before we go back to Paris, let us inoculate!” She was tired, Hanji and Oskar were tired. Cesare was alive but the horrible secrets of their family’s past were now out in the open. 

Levi appeared as Nikko lost his temper and Eren came out, “I DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR PROTOCOLS! I’LL SPRAY THIS SHIT OVER THE WHOLE GODDAMN CITY WITH CROP PLANES, YOU SELFISH ASSHOLES!” He threw a chair and other things till they stepped back. She grabbed his arm, “Calm down, please.” Nikko relented to her, “THEY’RE SENTENCING PEOPLE TO DEATH, MILA!” 

She put herself in front of him as the security officers approached with guns, “That’s enough.” Levi’s voice wasn’t too loud or too soft. It was just right, “Inoculate the hospital. It’s mine and I make the call.” Nurses loyal to Mila and Nikko were waiting for the call and quickly moved into the rooms of patients. 

* 

Nikko was still fighting mad, “I can’t understand how people who took an oath would condemn others to deaths they might be able to prevent.” Mila looked down at him, his eyes closed as her hands carded through his hair as he rested his head in her lap, “The Legion….they want to use this.” He opened his eyes, “I know. I don’t want to start selling to the military.” She nodded, “But, would it be so bad?” He frowned, “You think it’d be fine?” 

“I do.” 

‘Then I’ll do it, mami.” 

“It’s also not just your idea, you know?” Her eyebrow raised and he smirked, “You are my inspiration, my better half.” She kissed him and made a pained face, “I’m done with these stomach cramps. I need a vacation to handle the stress issues that I’m having.” He sat up and kissed her passionately. He pulled back, looking into her eyes and whispered, “Mila, I am so in love with you.” 

* 

Jacob and Catherine were married and Mila and Nikko were in the wedding party. Jacob had no family present and Catherine’s family were proud he’d converted for the wedding to be done in the synagogue. When her family came to speak with him more he said Nikko was as close of a brother he’d ever have. Nikko was questioned about his status as a single male but he avoided focus with talk of his work. 

He and Mila were actually becoming a sensation. 

Now, on the streets, police could be seen at barricades inhaling from blue inhalers. Medics were using them, mothers and teachers were using them, and just about everyone else in Paris. They were slowly bringing their island back to normalcy. Nikko and Mila were in a stressful place. She was uncomfortable a lot and losing more weight. 

Nikko was busy trying to figure out why this plague wasn’t dying completely. 

Then there was his sister’s wedding coming up. 

Mila leaned against him in the apartment, “Don’t go.” He pressed his nose in her hair as the Sabbath candles flickered, “I have a lead.” She held tighter, “Don’t go.” He kissed her, “It’s your lead. You make everything possible, my love.” 

* 

Mila was on the train heading towards Italy when it stopped. Everyone in her car suddenly got off. A man entered, he looked very similar to Marco, “Hello, Mila. I think you know I’m part of the Bodts.” She sat prim and proper, “I try not to assume things, Mr?” 

“Mr. Ricci. That’s a good way to be.” He opened his jacket and she moved slightly, “I see you keep a dagger and small pistol. That’s smart. But, this is just an envelope with information.” She was handed the envelope and opened it. “Why would you be giving me this?” He smiled, “Because, we need the inhalers.” She dropped the papers in her lap, “I’m a doctor, I’d never deny someone medical attention. Especially, Marco’s family.” 

He smiled, “We’ve been watching you and waiting for you two to get to the right places at the right time.” 

“What do you mean?” 

He handed her a card, “If you ever need anything, anything, reach out to us like Gisela and Aviva. We care even though we are removed.” 

She kept staring, “We helped you figure something out, didn’t we?” 

He smiled even brighter, “You did. We have a lot invested in the political scene in our country. The rise of the right is causing issues for our clients. We needed to make sure that we had information on the way what is going on in Germany and France reflects here.” 

She handed him a bag with the inhalers in it. “Oh, for me?” 

She rolled her eyes, “This was always the drop off, wasn’t it?” 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

“Well, glad to know we’re helping. 

* 

Mila made him coffee and then he left. She was on her now and following her cursed lead. She smiled as she sat at the computer. The screen buzzed and it was a skype call. She opened it and it was Ezra. His face was drawn up, “Hey…” She felt horrible, “Hey.” He looked so lost, “Cesare is asleep but I just can’t…” She knew something else was going on, “Why Ezra?” He started to tear up, “You know, we’ve not heard from Zev and then a note came today about my baby.” 

“What? What about your baby? Was the note from him?” 

Ezra shook his head, “No, it wasn’t. I thought it would be but it was from The Wall’s other branch The Soldiers.” The Soldiers were a shadow group run by two mysterious individuals that had alluded Mila and Nikko for months. The Legion wanted them badly, “What did the note say?” 

“The note….I’ll send it. I can’t speak those words but...Mila…..any child we have will be at risk of being kidnapped. I’m terrified about my own and I can’t tell Cesare. I lost one already.” She started looking around, “The Soldiers have a lot of patterns that are hard to trace and follow. It’s like they move in the shadows of the world, truly. I’m not sure where they are based.” He frowned, “Keita?” She didn’t know what to say, “Why would I call Keita?” 

He stared at her, “He is...Aman-” 

“Ezra, tread lightly.” 

He shut up, “I guess that wouldn’t be that great if you were linked. France and Israel….international outcry would ensue….” 

“No, not at all. I'm a scientist and I can't get involved in political things.” She was such a liar. 

“When are you going into surgery?” 

“In two days I have a full day. I’m not looking forward to it.” 

“I need to find out where they are located near us.” 

“I’ll get on it, I promise.” 

* 

A few hours later the phone rang and it was Bianca, “I don’t understand how he lives like this!” She was fuming, ranting, raging. She must be out in the city drinking or she’d never be so loud. Or maybe she would be, “He’s gone, always gone! We go to the bank all the time and I’m sick of it. What has he got going on!?” She listened to Bianca talk about Tuvia for at least an hour till she begged her to call a cab and go home. 

She thought about Nikko and changed into her pajamas. 

Her stomach hurt, she was sweating, and she just wanted to understand what was keeping the plague alive and who was after their family. She laid down but it was for nothing. 

She decided to call him, “Keita?” 

He sounded out of breath and like he’d been in the middle of something, “Mila? Are you okay?” She was touched he’d clearly been upset. “I’m fine but….I can’t reveal to you why but it’s become something of a problem, The Soldiers, and I need more information in order to take care of my patients.” 

Keita was quiet like his mother, “I’ll get you what I can.” She hummed, “Thank you so much. I’m so sorry for the interruption. I’ll go now.” 

He put the phone down and she moved, “Family?” He nodded, “Yeah.” She rolled over onto her side, “You’re so fucking weak, Keita.” 

* 

She’d been assigned to him as a bodyguard, “I don’t need a bodyguard and I certainly don’t need a female one!” He fumed as she sat across from him, “Let’s be clear, Israel sees women and men as equal. If you say anything as sexist as that again I’ll cut your balls off.” She glared and he sat back down in his chair, “I hope you’re okay with paperwork and late nights.” 

He was sulking and she smirked, “I think you’re expressing a deep resentment for the lack of excitement that Zev got.” 

“Are you a psychologist now?” 

“You must think low of women.” 

Keita was red in the face and she thought that was interesting, “I do not! I simply am looking for a certain type of woman.” 

“Like what?” 

He was still fuming, “Like my mother!” 

“DAMN! There’s a lot to unpack there. Do you have inappropriate thoughts of your mother?” 

“Fuck off.” 

“All Jewish boys want to marry women like their mother.” 

“All Jewish women are amazing women but my mother was special. I don’t care what you think. My cousins and other women I grew up with are special like her. Israel needs people like my mother to make it stronger.” 

“Who is this woman? I should apply for an internship.” 

“Take the trash out, please. Could you get coffees? One for me and yourself.” He pulled his card out and waited for her to take it. She raised an eyebrow, “I have no idea how Zev put up with you.” He wanted to die at every mention of his name. She knew it, too. She wanted him to explain it to her but she was just a soldier, nothing more and nothing less. 

* 

Keita kept making phone calls to strange organizations. She kept tabs on them but mostly because she was concerned. Over the months she’d known him she’d come to see him as a strong willed dreamer asshole who’s macho manliness knew no bounds. He was cut throat, brash, impatient, highly critical, and expected absolute perfection. 

He’d been one of the hardest drill sergeants in the history of the aman and he was feared for his vindictive nature. Keita Lavie believed in an eye for an eye. 

She’d hated every second with him until she caught him on the phone with her, Gisela. His voice had been soft, he’d been relaxed to the point he’d relaxed his tie -something no one had ever seen-, and his words had been elegant and charming. She’d listened to him as he spoke calming words of admiration and then, when he hung up, she entered and watched him drink scotch while loose and open. 

He’d even smiled at her. 

Little by little she placed herself in his sight after those phone calls until one day they stopped happening as much. Zev was gone, lost to them. She felt horribly about it but it was above her station and she followed the rules. All she wanted was to make enough money to take care of her parents. She didn’t care about anything else really, just them. 

But, she liked him smiling at her and when he was kind to himself and others. She liked when he relaxed and laughed. He was smart, really smart. He was cultured, liked the arts and went often. He seemed to know everything about everything. He collected artworks and one day she saw him volunteering with children. He was showing one child in wheelchair the accessible ramp when another threw a ball at him. He caught it and the scolding he gave the child had made her laugh and then cry. 

“You think your brother is hinderance?! I’ll tell you what a hinderance is: having such a hateful and selfish heart! You know you’d never want someone to think poorly of you just because you had to do things differently. My cousin, he’s albino. Do you know what that is?” 

“No.” The child was shamed thoroughly as he told of the issues Zev had had and the ways he’d struggled and overcome those, “Now, he does whatever he wants.” His voice had broke. He finished and the boys hugged and went back to playing. He turned around and she saw him, tears staining his cheeks. He covered his mouth and her heart hurt. 

“Keita!” She entered the playground and he stared at her, “You’re off today.” She shook her head, “Yeah, I saw you and thought I’d say hi.” She saw a girl running, “Hey, wait.” She bent down to tie her shoe before sending her on, “How much longer are you here?” He had regained his control, “A half hour.” She asked him to get drinks and he went. 

They became so drunk she came to his house and fell asleep in bed with him. Nothing had happened except for the random phone call. They’d both been startled to hear it ring so sharply and so late. In the morning he gave her a change of clothes and shooed her out of his apartment. A car was waiting to take her home. 

He was a mystery, “I have to come back for my shift. Is it such a big deal you slept next to me?” He looked upset, “It wasn’t proper. It gives off the wrong impression. It makes it seem like we’re less than professional!” He was getting angry and she smiled, “You wish. You’re not my type.” 

She’d gotten in the car and frowned as they pulled away. 

Did she really repulse him? 

No, she’d said it last night. He was weak. 

* 

Now, she heard him on the phone again, “Those groups are based in Russia, Poland, and the US. I’m sending files over to you. The Soldiers have two leaders but I believe there is a third. What we can do is keep tabs on the cells we know exist for sure and then we can make projections. Tell me...how is the plague?” There was silence, “I don’t understand. You’ve been inoculating the population.” 

Keita stood up suddenly, fearful, “You don’t think that.” 

He sounded terrified, “I think….you should report this to your government and I will report it to mine.” He slammed the phone down and looked white as a ghost. She entered, “What has happened?” He wiped his face with his handkerchief, “Well, it would seem that the plague my cousins had found a way of keeping in check has mutated.” 

He had her write a report with him. Later, he asked her why she’d been listening in, “I’m your bodyguard.” He looked at her, “Just my bodyguard.” She snorted and rolled her eyes, “Ha, you’re not Whitney Houston.” He asked her to go out for food and drinks and it happened again, she was in house in the guest room this time, and she didn’t mind. 

However, she did mind that he didn’t always take care of himself. She had a job to do. If he were to die or become unfit for service then she’d have hurt Israel. This country had done everything for her and her family. She was committed to it and committed to making it better for all. He never relaxed, “I think you should stop whatever it is your doing for that unknown number from Paris and come somewhere with me.” 

He looked at her, books littered around him, “I don’t have time.” 

“You’re as opposed to people as Ben Gurion.” 

“Why, thank you!” 

She frowned, “Come on. Let’s go to get food.” 

He bitched as they left but soon fell silent. The city was alive with life and families moved around with their children happily. It was sweet and delightful as they passed a few proposals. The tourists were annoying but nothing they were not used to. When they got to the restaurant Keita sighed, “Actually, can we go somewhere less…” 

It was unbelievable, “Somewhere not 5 stars? HaShem, you must be ill.” She touched his forehead and he looked unamused, “I’d love some simple good food.” She nicked her head to the side, “I go there often. It’s one of my favorite places.” He smiled, “There?” 

“There.” 

“Okay. It looks great.” 

He ordered for them and she checked her schedule, “I’ll be traveling for three weeks on Sunday. You’ll have Berl as your stand in guard.” He didn’t say anything. He sat down and they waited for their food to be brought to them. Their little 18 number card sat on the table in full display. Keita looked at her, “Where are you going for three weeks?” 

She gave him a look, “That’s none of your business.” 

“You look at my phone records.” 

“Is it Nikko who calls from Paris? What about the other places like Holland?” 

“It’s Nikko and others.” 

“I’m going to Ukraine.” 

“To Ukraine?! It isn’t safe! My cousin is there, right now.” 

She rolled her eyes, “It’s fine.” 

He sulked, “Not really.” 

A man walked in and sat down next to her pulling her into a hug while kissing her all over the side of her face. Keita leaned forward and reached over to grab his arm. He nearly broke the man’s bone but he was strong. He was much stronger than the average civilian, “My Jaffka, you’re friend is currently trying to break my bone or at least fracture it.” Jaffa looked at Keita, “This is my father.” Keita pulled back, flustered and ashamed, “Sir, please forgive me. I am terribly-” 

Zvi laughed sitting back against the booth, “No, no, no, no I’m glad you would have defended her or another young lady. Are you two eating dinner? You know, we should bulk up for our trip.” Keita looked at Zvi over the course of the dinner and tried to find the similarities in his daughter. She must take after her mother a lot. 

They were vague about where in Ukraine they were going and he found that odd and upsetting. There was another phone call and he slid the screen to answer it, “I’ll call you back.” 

He hung up. Nikko would understand.


	178. Lylah Tov

Mila went to surgery but after her shift she collapsed in the nurses’ room. There were plenty around but some refused to help. She was rumored to be Jewish despite her papers. She was taken to another room to recover, “I’m just tired. Honestly, I’m under a lot of stress.” The nurse named Clemence gave her a stern look. She was older and Dr. Petit was rumored to be her lover. Nikko and Mila both agreed they thought they were just old friends, “Mila, are you eating?” 

Mila looked ashamed, “Yes, much more than before.” 

“You got an increase in rations from Dr. Petit, right?” 

“Yes.” 

“That explains the weight gain but it’s not like you’ve ballooned or anything. I think it might be that your overworked, fatigued, nutrient deprived, and now that you’re getting nutrients you need to get rest. Rest, Mila. Go home and rest.” She frowned, “The plague is still in full force, just stabilized.” 

Clemence looked at her seriously, “How many die a day?” 

Mila and Nikko were among the few that knew the real numbers of dead. It was a heavy burden, “More than you’d be comfortable knowing.” It was in the hundreds a day. They were burning bodies day and night. It was weighing on them. The bodies deserved to be buried but they couldn’t risk it. 

Clemence looked over at her watch, “I’ll speak to Dr. Petit. You’re on leave for two weeks. You have permission to work in the lab but only for 20 hours a week. Your paperwork must be done at home. When Nikko comes back from his conference,” the Legion often forged paperwork and proof of conferences, “if your two weeks isn’t up then he needs to stay at home with you.” She thought about how ridiculous it all was, “But, I need to be in the lab to do my research! Science doesn’t wait!” 

“Your body is telling you to stop.” 

“My body means nothing to the grand picture.” 

Clemence hummed, “I’ve heard your mother is of similar mind. However, she was kept alive by Dr. Ackermann for many years, was she not? I’ve heard of their work ethic from various other faculty that knew and know them. You and Nikko are simply following in their footsteps. I’m sorry for that.” 

“Why?” She was confused and skeptical looking, “Why be sorry?” 

“Because for every good thing they did someone was there to try and exploit it.” 

* 

She was so uncomfortable, “I have a stomach ulcer.” Tuvia sat his beer down and pressed on her stomach and checked her temperature, “I’d say so. Look, I came to give you some money that I need you to have put away. I also think you should go back to Maria.” She stared, “I’m not leaving.” Tuvia took a deep breath, “Zev is out of prison.” She sputtered and nearly vomited, “Prison! We only had a suspicion!” 

Tuvia looked surprised, “Nikko knew.” 

She sat back, deflated, “I had no idea...he must have had a reason.” Mila was upset she’d not known but, then again, she knew he must have had a good reason, “And so close to Gisela’s wedding.” Tuvia looked like Zev, annoyed and tired, “Well, that’s a month and some away.” She chewed her lip, “He’s out….he’s…” 

“Divorced.” 

“HOW DO YOU KNOW SUCH?!” 

Tuvia finished his scotch, “Because I work for him. Let’s leave it at that.” She sat up and felt ill, “You work for Zev?” Tuvia stared blankly, “I do.” 

“So you work for Mossad.” 

“Perhaps.” 

“No….they don’t know that you work with him. That’s so dangerous, Tuvia.” She felt so poorly but was starving at the same time. Tuvia handed her a water and went to make her a sandwich, “No tomatos!” He nodded his head, “I know. Plus, it’s bad for your stomach right now. You used to love tomatos.” She had but now the smell made her ill. “I wish Nikko would come home.” Tuvia nodded, “How long since he went to the conference?” She frowned, “Four days.” 

There was a knock at the door. Tuvia pulled his knife out, “I’ve got it.” 

It was raining outside. Tuvia had no idea how someone got pass the security system but he was prepared to kill if he had to. The doorknob turned. He grabbed it, ripping the door open to reveal a sight for sore eyes, “Zev?!” Mila stood up, tears running down her face, “ZEV!” He was soaking wet and his body was littered with signs of torture, “Hey.” 

* 

“I was released and have been doing more work on the Reiss family. Keita speaks to me and helps but, it’s….not enough. I came because I’m supposed to look at the vault.” 

Mila drank her tea, “Why the vault?” 

“Nikko said to.” 

“Oh...I can give you the key.” She moved to get up but felt absolutely horrible, “You know Mila, you don’t have to do everything.” Tuvia drew the words out pointedly. She looked at him with a scornful look, “I’ll do anything to help Zev.” She kissed his cheek and he smiled, “You’re breasts are bigger.” She slapped his arm, “I know. I should get a reduction.” Both groaned, “Nooooo.” 

She hit them both, “Ridiculous and gross. We’re family.” 

The streets were empty as they went to the bank. Zev wrapped an arm around her, “You’re getting way more food than before.” She nodded, “Yes, I’m considered important to the hospital now after the inhaler. Nikko gets extra rations but he never uses the meat so I either get to indulge or more often I trade it.” 

Zev pulled her closer, “Are you and Nikko, perhaps, more than friends?” 

Tuvia rolled his eyes, “Mila has a boyfriend, Zev. Nikko is seeing a girl in Hamburg. I’ve met her. She’s nice.” Zev frowned, “That makes me sad. I was so hopeful.” Mila didn’t speak for fear her voice would betray her. It wasn’t the time for them to tell their family. It was also forbidden by the Legion since they were two agents. It happened to be an unspoken rule that they were all graciously ignoring for their sake. Nikko had to live single and so did she. 

Once at the bank she closed her eyes while Tuvia waited for Zev and kept an eye on her. 

When she woke she was at home and miserable, “I just wonder if we should take her to the hospital.” Tuvia was smoking, “I’d say yes normally but she was just there and I’m sure it’s a stomach ulcer. Her mother gets them all the time. She’s overworked and when Nikko travels she worries. We all worry but she lives with him and they’re attached at the hip when working.” 

“I think they’re a perfect match.” 

“Zev, hush. You’re becoming our parents.” 

“Brother, how is Bianca?” 

“She’s a she wolf harpie.” 

“You should be kinder because she’s not bad at all.” 

Tuvia bit his tongue about Gisela and how he has no room to talk. “I bet you think I have no room to talk since I’ve not spoken to her.” He sounded empty, thin. It was like he was missing his essence, “Maybe I don’t have any room to talk. She’s getting married. She’s going to be so happy. I just want others to be happy.” Mila couldn’t help herself, “And you? What about you Zev?” He paused. 

“I just want to make myself small.” 

* 

She laid in bed thinking about it all, “So, you’re the king and you have to pick a second in command. I guess that means Erwin’s was Levi.” Zev sighed, “They want our children possibly, they want our fortune, they want our bodies, minds, abilities. They want everything we have because we have potential. We have the potential to help free the world of them and their control. I’m not sure how we’re going to do it but we must do it.” 

“Tuvia, go back to Poland. Keep helping me by cutting the accounts off. I need you to go to Denmark for me. I have the address written down and I want to go with you if possible.” Tuvia took it, ‘I’ll let you know of my plans. I think I should head back to Poland now anyway.” Mila stood up, “Who is in Denmark?” Zev didn’t answer. She pushed, “The Soldiers and The Wall. You’ve got something going on with them, don’t you. Well, that’s just fine. Ezra is asking, you’re going to ask, everyone is asking….as long as it’s not our parents.” 

Tuvia and Zev started to chuckle, “Oh God, no. Let our little innocent parents stay in the dark. Vati would never be able to handle all this. Daddy wouldn’t be able to throw money at it and Eren would be busy eating and playing with slime.” 

“Slime? That stuff from their childhood?” 

“Yeah, it’s come back for like the third time.” 

“Uncle Levi could handle this.” 

Zev smiled, “Uncle Levi couldn’t do this shit. He’d never be able to handle how dirty it all was. We barely get to shower on a job. I’m sure Nikko would also die.” 

She walked to her room, “I’m going to sleep.” 

They nodded and told her goodnight. 

“Why are you leaving in the morning?” 

Tuvia looked at Zev, “Because Bianca will have sold my cabin to make me move into the city.” 

“I think I know who are involved in The Soldiers.” 

Tuvia lit a cigaret from Nikko’s metal tin, “I think I do, too.” 

* 

Zev and Tuvia left leaving her alone. She felt horrible, uncomfortable. Then, it was like sweet relief when he walked through the door, sweaty, dirty, and his eyes wet from crying. She followed him into the bathroom as he looked around, “We’ve let our apartment go.” He got into the shower and was quiet. She realized he was right and set to cleaning up. It was often that they’re busy schedule meant neglecting their home and she knew it upset him deeply. He hated for things to be dirty and out of order. 

When he got out she was climbing into the bed to lay down, “Mila?” 

“I have a stomach ulcer from stress and I’m fatigued. They’ve put me on restriction from the lab and I have to stay home.” He looked at her seriously, “So, you couldn’t find time to clean? You’re absolutely filthy.” He smiled but she saw the concern around his face, “Mila, I….have found out such horrible things.” He was silently crying. 

She pat the bed beside her, “Tell me all about it, my love.” 

* 

Hamburg was a large port city. He began there. Somehow, there was a connection between it and Paris. The plague was rising up around the area in strange pockets. That’s what brought their attention at the hospital. He met with his contact and soon they were changed into the clothes of a worker and started their ships at the port. 

Nikko noted there were senior employees who were allowed into certain areas that he was and the other night employees were denied. His goal was to get into the area and figure out what they were hiding, “Jen, come over here and go through the boxes. We think it’s contraband.” He was annoyed but he had to blend in. He went threw the boxes, eyeing the badges on some of the other workers. 

Nikko finished his shift and his partner met him at the opening. They’d just have to come back. He’d now go back to his room and think about life. 

* 

Nikko had called Zev, “You’re out.” 

“I’m out.” 

“I’ve told my sister….I told her. It was hard.” 

Zev and Nikko had always worked. It had been easy and comforting, “Nikko, you know you’re my best friend, right?” Nikko snorted, “I know this. I’ve never not known this.” 

“I’m so sorry.” 

Nikko wiped a tear away, “We all are.” 

“Will you help me? Would you hate me if I picked you?” 

Nikko didn’t want to be chosen, “No. I’d not hate you.” 

* 

Keita was fuming. Nikko had met him in Prague, “It should be me.” Nikko didn’t agree but he didn’t want to disagree. That would leave only him, “It’s tradition.” Keita’s eyes were hard, “I’m older, I’m much more involved, and I’m actually in the only country that’s know what’s up with the Reiss!” Nikko sighed drinking his coffee. He looked disgusted and bored, “I don’t disagree. But, it’s up to him.” 

Keita slammed money down on the table, “He’d be a fool to choose someone who only wants to work in a lab and not in politics.” He really was horrible when like this. No one could reason with him once he’d decided he’d been slighted. Nikko looked down at his hands, “I want to know why Hannahlore won’t take your calls anymore.” 

Keita was clearly shaken, “She takes my calls.” 

Nikko cut his eyes over, “No, she doesn’t. Let my dogs lie sleeping and I’ll let yours.” 

* 

Nikko moved into the restricted area with his new card. He’d placed a man in a choke hold and locked him in the locker room when they were all changing for the shift. He started making his way around the rows of shipping containers. It was good to be a nobody. It was indispensable in this line of work. 

After a few hours of nothing notable his ego deflated. Obviously, they’d made a mistake. Now, he’d wasted time, money, and Mila’s resources and intelligence for rows of counterfeit purses and narcotics. He thought of Judah fondly and took his break. 

His phone rang and it was his Baba, “Baba, how are you?” 

“YOUR ABA IS SO MEAN TO ME!” 

Nikko smiled at his Baba, “Baba, just because he thinks you two should go on a diet doesn’t mean he is being mean to you.” 

“Your Aba only plans the wedding and never spends time with me.” 

“Aba is planning the wedding because he has one daughter, Baba.” 

“You know who else doesn’t call me?” 

“I’m so sorry, Baba.” 

Eren sighed and Nikko knew he was slouching, “I can’t ever be mad at my little motek. You do so much and you’re so…” he lavished him with all sorts of loving words. They were all thinking about Gigi and Hannahlore’s attempted pregnancy with Ezra and Cesare now expecting. It had been hard these past four years. 

But, he was trying to make it better, “Baba, I love you but I must go.” Eren sighed dramatically, “Can you at least call your Aba and tell him he’s being ridiculous!?” Nikko laughed, “Baba, Aba and I are much too similar. You’d need to recruit a Smith or Ezra.” He hung up and a man told him to return to work. Nikko walked across the floor quickly, scanning the room. 

He had to assist in the lifting and moving of a container. The metals were orange and yellow, rusty and dirty, and there was a strange sound from inside of them. It wasn’t quite hollow but odd. He stared at a few as they were lowered and lifted, “When do we search them?” The other man looked shocked, “What? We don’t search these. You know that.” Nikko smiled, “Sorry, I covered for someone in the other part the other day. I’m also just so damn tired.” The man relaxed, “Yeah, my wife is sick.” 

Nikko was intrigued, “With what?” 

“Dunno….just hope it ain’t that sickness going around. She’s pregnant. However, we don’t go anywhere really and she’s a stay at home wife and all knowing goddess.” He laughed and showed Nikko a picture. He really loved his wife. 

“Then she should be okay.” 

There was a commotion inside of a container, a slapping against the metal from inside. All came to a stop in the warehouse as some went over to the container. It was shaking. Something was trying to get out. An alarm sounded as the door popped open suddenly and sludge poured out. Nikko nearly vomited at the smell of human waste and decay. 

A hand emerged but was kicked back in. 

_Alarms and the sound of people yelling for masks while running around the warehouse trying to contain the area._

A man tried to crawl out and Nikko was pushed forward with others who shot him and were clearly distressed by this all. There was a sudden gasp when the door opened but no one else emerged. 

Dead bodies were stacked on top of each other. Whoever had lived longest has attempted to put them far away from them and that was clear by the haphazard two or three not on the piles. A few men started to cough near him and then more and more. Their eyes were full of terror, “This was the risk you all knew you were taking.” 

One man had a gun out, “This is what you were paid for. Now, let’s get these bodies burned and make sure the other containers are shipped to their locations. We’ll then write out our wills and _they_ will be here shortly to liquidate us.” Nikko looked at the container and saw _**Reeves Shipping**_. He felt ill, suddenly there was an understanding. 

He wasn’t sure but he had a gut feeling. He had to get out and he had to make sure nothing left this harber. Nikko turned to them, “Then let’s just get to it.” The man seem cautious, “You’re new.” Nikko nicked his head up, “What’s it to you?” The man handed him a scarf, “We gotta burn them so you might want to cover your nose.” The sickness was setting in and over the next two hours men were dropping from fatigue to be shot by the man in charge. 

“ _They’ll_ be here shortly.” 

Nikko realized they were there when the room went quiet and everyone stopped moving. A dark haired woman appeared. She wasn’t old, probably his age, and she had a familiar look about her features, “Everyone, line up in five rows of five in the room over there.” Nikko went with the men into the room and the door was locked. He stepped out of the line with his partner not far behind. 

He broke the drywall and exposed the wiring. His partner was coughing and handed him a water bottle. They left the wires exposed, occasionally being popped but not too bad. Nikko could handle it and both had been trained to withstand shocks. They just needed the door to open, “What are you two doing?” The man in charge’s gun had been taken. He had no power here, “Do you really want to die like this?” 

Nikko looked him in the eye, “I am not going to die here.” 

The door opened and a few men walked into the wires. Nikko threw the water on them and they were shocked. He had removed a lot of the wall already and pushed threw it to avoid the wires in the doorway. Nikko got out and took out his gun shooting while hiding between the containers. Those working for the woman were attacked by the other workers. Nikko needed to destroy this place. 

He knew there were oil barrels and benzin for the machines and he ran, ran as fast as he could. Sweat was getting in his eyes, people were falling over on the floor. He observed a striking mutation. Now, similar to Ebola, they were literal virus bombs spewing blood everywhere for quicker infection. He could not let this out. He got to the station with gas and oil but soon it was all on the floor. He was slammed down mercilessly. 

His face was scratched, his jaw clenched, his teeth nearly broke when they came together. He grunted and felt a person his back. His shoulder was inflamed with pain. She’d stabbed him, “You’re not getting away.” She was tall, really tall. She also had this birthmark on her hand that Nikko recognized immediately. The implications were mind blowing. He pistol whipped her and flipped over. The knife went in deeper. She reared back but he shot her. 

She wasn’t dead immediately. He stood over her, “What’s your name?” 

She stared at him and spat, “Fuck off.” 

He stared at her, “What’s your name? I’m Nikko.” 

She sputtered blood, “You’re kind will never inherit the earth.” 

She died but after quickly searching her body he had a name. 

_Brena_

* 

Jacob was on the phone with him, “You set the harbor on fire?” 

“I set it on fire.” 

“You know something.” 

“I know something.” 

“Then come home, brother. Mila is waiting. I am waiting.” 

“I have to alert the German authorities.” 

“I’ll submit the papers. I’ll have them go to the embassy. You’re right about telling them but it has to be only on the higher levels till clean up can happen or the people will flee and it’ll be horrid.” 

Nikko looked horrible as a car pulled up, “Is this car for me?” Jacob laughed shortly, “I heard you got stabbed.” Nikko smirked, “Right into my scapula.” The man opened the door, it started to rain. “I need a shower.” Jacob looked at Catherine, “Take one when you get home. Think about everything in the car, make your notes, and tomorrow or the next day write the report. I want the report from you and you’re going to explain it to me. I only want it from you.” 

Nikko wanted to cry, “You’d lie for me?” 

“I’d lie for you.” 

“I need a shower. I can’t get into the car, Jacob. I can’t risk it.” 

“Then walk towards the man, Nehemiah. He understands.” There was a light when he opened the trunk of the car and a portable hazmat setup was removed, “Take samples. Do what you can.” 

* 

Jean pressed a kiss to Marco’s face. He moved in the bed slowly, waking up, “Jean? Kissies now?” Jean kissed him again, sweeter, “Remember when Bellamy used to sleep between us?” Marco smiled, “Yeah, I do.” He opened his warm eyes and Jean smiled so sincerely that it made his chest flutter with butterflies. 

“He’s so big now.” Marco cupped his face in his hands, “I know. He’s a giant kind of.” Marco chuckled and sat up, “Why are you up?” Jean shrugged, “Our oldest is home. I don’t know what to do other than be excited.” Marco looked around the room, “He’s asleep, though.” Marco looked mischievous, “Let’s go do something.” He got off the bed and Jean watched him, “I never know what’s going on in that freckled head of yours.” 

They woke Bellamy but it’s wasn’t hard. He was eight hours off and needing distraction, “Lilly and I were working a lot together while Alexi trained. I guess I’m a little out of sorts away from them both.” Marco took the keys from Jean, “Baby, it’s Ukraine, isn’t it?” 

“Yeah.” 

“You don’t have to lie to us. We get it...we really do.” 

Bellamy had gone to the Ukraine for work and now that he was back it was odd. “I’m going back soon.” He said it almost nervously and out of place. Jean hummed, “You know, you’re fucking adorable.” Bellamy smiled, “Thanks papa. Where are we going?” Marco snorted, “You’ll see.” 

* 

Judah slammed the man’s face into the table top and poured beer all over it. He then pulled him off and tossed him against the bar slamming him into the chairs. Judah spat and walked forward, “Get out and don’t came back.” The man stood up, he reached into his pocket but there was the cocking sound of a gun. Judah stood there, stone cold and threatening, “I’ll kill you.” 

The man left and the dancer appeared, “Thanks Judah.” Judah reached over into the cash drawer and handed her a wad, “Go home. This should cover tonight and two more days. Get some rest.” He looked bored but inside he was calculating how much that would set him back in his nest egg he had for when she gave birth. 

_That bitch-wolf is going to need things and then that baby will also need things. If I can keep making what I make and perhaps double it then I can set aside a third just for her maintenance and lifestyle while factoring in a second person. I’ll need to get her banking information and some pay stubs to make more predictions. What about insurance? Shit. I need to re-evaluate my excel sheets….synagogue dues are going to be a fortune.”_

He saw Jean and then Marco. Bellamy looked uncomfortable. He put drink orders in and walked over. Marco saw him and smirked, “We’re honored by your presence!” Judah slid down next to Bellamy, “Whatever. Bell, what’s going on with you?” Bellamy shrugged, “Nothing.” 

Jean looked at the show, “I bet I could strip and get more money than you, Babe.” Marco raised an eyebrow, “Oh really?” Jean smirked, “I know I can.” Marco looked at Judah, “Can I get the next song?” Judah smirked, “Tell John in the booth.” Marco and Jean both got up to rush over and start their competition. Judah looked at Bellamy, “What did you see, man?” Bellamy looked horrid, “The orphanage is gone. My records are gone. Nothing is there anymore and I miss Alexi and Lilly. I worry about them.” 

Judah blinked. “Let’s drink vodka and watch your parents strip. I mean, it’s not the worst we’ve seen.” 

“Do you think something lives in the woods?” 

Judah’s hair stood up on his arm, “Shut up.” 

Bellamy pushed, “Men...and women in the ground. All of them have iron teeth.” Judah hit his arm, “Man, I said shut up. I ain’t fuckin’ wit’ no goddamn demonic teeth shit. Gisela hates it, too. We don’t fuck with black eyes and metal teeth.” 

“Sometimes...I feel like something is moving inside of me.” 

Judah made such an exasperated face, “Fuck off, man! You need to have mindless sex.” 

Bellamy rolled his eyes, “You’re such a physical person. I’m not really like that. A girl who’d listen is nice.” Judah looked at him softly, “Done.” 

He called a waitress over, “Tell Sapphire my cousin just wants to talk and I’ll pick up the tab. Tell her nothing leaves. Whatever he says is just in one ear and out the other. She’ll get it.” He pushed Bellamy out of the seat, ‘Go. Sapphire is legit.” He frowned, “If I end up with a blowjob and a peach pit again…” 

“Then you’ll say thank you again. Go, let me take care of your papa and dad.” 

Judah watched him disappear. He checked his phone. Gisela and Aviva were at a show with Eren and Levi. Both girls looked beautiful and his Aba was smiling in a picture. His Baba had sent it after drawing a circle around his face on the picture “Look at that SMILE!”. Armin and Erwin were traveling. They’d been getting money donated for causes. He felt a sudden urge. 

Judah: Old man, what are you doing? 

A few seconds went by and then- 

_Buzz_

Erwin: Currently getting gum out of your Vati’s hair, my little lion. 

Judah rolled his eyes while typing. 

Judah: Don’t fuck his hair up. It’s priceless. 

Erwin: I won’t. Are you okay? 

Judah: Yea 

Erwin: You’re missing an H, my prince of mayhem. 

Judah: Wuteva 

Erwin: You really enjoy acting like an uneducated street urchin. 

Judah: lulz 

He knew he was poking at Erwin and it was working. 

Erwin: If you’re going to be like this, then I bid you good day. 

Judah: why u mad? 

Erwin: I love you, devil child. 

Judah: kul man u 2 

* 

Nikko had given it a lot of thought, “Mila, they’re-” 

“They infect people with the new strain they’ve mutated with aspects of Ebola. They want to increase how virile it is so they put them in containers with healthy people being smuggled. The virus eats through the hosts radicalizing. Once it reaches the end, any material is able to infect. The air in the container affected the entire crew and those now affected by the cough touched the material with cuts on their hands.” 

Mila wiped her face, “These containers go all over the world and that’s why there is always a steady flow and that’s why what we’ve done has only put a bandaid on the situation because the virus is changing. I believe that they’ve not finished. This is just a test. I think that what we’ve seen with some of the more….dare I say zombie….like qualities is their goal. I think they want a virus that can get inside of someone and can be controlled.” 

Nikko loved her mind, “Then why make such a violent disease with a 100 percent mortality rate?” 

“Because they want us to immunize them.” 

Nikko’s body was hot, “So, they want us to make a vaccine where we put some of that virus in everyone.” 

“Yes.” 

“Brilliant.” 

“Yes, because we have to do that.” 

“Yes, we do. But, how? And how can we stop that?” 

She looked at him seriously, “I don’t know yet. I’ll think about it.” 

He snorted, his body so tight from stress, “I love you.” 

She kissed him, “I love you.” 

* 

Nikko held her in his arms, “I think that we should ask Dr. Petit for a new schedule. I’m going to suggest one week of surgeries, one week of lab work, and more work from home.” She moved around in his arms, “I’m not so happy with that!” He chuckled, “Work, work, work...It’s all about work with you.” He kissed her and she leaned back into him, “I’m trying to save the world.” He nuzzled into her skin, “I hope you succeed.” 

She pulled away and laid back on her side of the bed. She was still feeling uncomfortable but Nikko made everything a thousand times better, “We should be thinking of how to solve our problem with the vaccination.” He rolled over and away from her. She pouted, “Nehemiah, I wish I could roll away from our problems, too. But,-” 

He turned back smiling. He had something in his hand, “Mila, will you marry me?” 

She stared, blinking the tears away, “What? Really?” 

Nikko was so sweet looking, “Will you marry me? I love you so much and I’m just so tired of not being married to my better half, my soulmate, my everything...I can keep going if you want.” 

She took the box and opened it to look at the [ring](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/32/9c/98/329c983c39b2572138bf819adddc258b.jpg), “This is so interesting.” She was smiling ear from ear. “This is so strange. I love it. I’ve never seen a style like this on anyone else!” He seemed shy, “There was a note with it. It was really strange.” She gave him a quizzical look, “What?” 

Nikko shrugged, “I found it in the bank with my name on it. I opened it up and it must have belonged to a deceased relative. I’ve had it shined and restored but it said, “Give this to the mermaid of your dreams.”” He smiled as he said it and she knew why. She’d teased him that when they were done with The Legion that she’d get a mermaid tattoo. “Well, distant Nehemiah, you’ve got good tastes. This mermaid is impressed.” 

* 

They went out and she bought a [dress](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/84/23/22/842322bde78be6f52478a56f6f52ee04.jpg) on a whim. They got a license and spoke to the rabbi at Catherine’s shul. He kissed her while they picked out a Ketubah. He knew it had to be a secret but that was fine. She would be his and he would hers. 

The next day Jacob and Catherine came. [Nikko](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ad/39/db/ad39dbd080e5bfe99cea641ae4391e85.jpg) stood anxiously and a few photos were taken. They were married, drank a little wine, and danced to old records that were in the bar the Jacobins used down the street. 

By the end of the night, Mila was dead on her feet and Nikko called into Dr. Petit’s office to take off for a week. He wanted as much time as he could with her, alone. The plague was still there, still present. But, it would have to wait. 

He pressed her against the wall, smirking. His voice was so in awe, “Mila Ackermann.” She pressed her head against his chest, hiding her face. “Mr. and Mrs. Nehemiah Ackermann. I think I’ve died and am in paradise.” She kissed him, “I think you’re here with me and you’re going to fulfill your husbandly duties.” She pulled him into a scorching kiss as they made their way onto the floor. 

Two days went by of wedded bliss save for Mila’s sickness. He made her chicken noodle soup and kept her hydrated. She told him how lucky she was and took it easy for once. “Are you actually taking the doctor’s advice?” She gave him a haughty look as he sat down on the bed with her. She gave him big doe eyes, “Of course.” 

He raised an eyebrow, “Ha, liar.” He reached under the pillow and pulled files out that she’d worked on while he ran to the store. He crawled up the bed and she couldn’t help but get flustered. Nikko had moments where he smoldered. His eyes, the turn of his lip in the corner, and that Ackermann jaw and nose. She felt herself tremble, “Dr. Ackermann, I’m supposed to be resting.” 

He paused inches from her lips, “You’ve been disobeying the doctor's orders. Don’t you think you should be taught a lesson.” She nodded, “I suppose so.” He attacked her and they spent the rest of the day in the bed together. 

However, that night, “Nikko, Nikko! Nikko, wake up!” He woke suddenly as she was struggling to get up and out of the bed, “Nikko, take me to hospital. Something is wrong. I think I’ve ruptured something or my ulcer is now burning through my stomach. I don’t know what’s happening but it’s horrible.” 

She was covered in sweat and shaking. Her pain was so intense she’d suddenly stop moving and just silently cry. He got her out into a taxi that understood the need for speed and got them to the hospital and into the ER. Nikko was wringing his hands as he waited nervously. Dr. Petit walked by, ‘Come on! YOU TOOK OFF!” 

Nikko stood up, “Mila is sick.” Dr. Petit went missing. When he returned he brought him back, “You’ll wait outside the room. Clemence is with her.” He seemed off and Nikko took his arm, “I don’t want this to be public but she’s my wife.” Dr. Petit nearly fell over, “Since when? I’ve had my suspicions but-” 

“This week was my honeymoon. Please, I want to be with her. It seems serious.” He brought him to the door and looked convicted, “Nikko, there is something serious happening.” Clemence came to the door, “I need you to come in and oversee.” She looked at Nikko and went quiet. Dr. Petit inhaled, “Mila and Nikko just got secretly married.” 

“Married? Legally?” 

“Yes.” 

“Well, then I can tell you that Mila has had a stomach ulcer but that has since cleared up.” 

Nikko was shaking, “Then...then what is it.” 

Clemence sighed, “You’re having a baby, Dr. Ackermann.” Nikko started to fall, his knees weak. He entered the room and Clemence followed, “A premie! There will probably be complications. You’re wife was a premie, too!” A woman was grilling her on any drugs or alcohol that she had been taking. Mila saw Nikko and reached for him, “Nikko! I’m scared!” Her voice was distraught, “I’m so scared!” He took her hand and the rush of nurses around them was driven out. 

He asked all the important questions while she was laying back in the bed in pain, “Can I have an epidural?” Clemence frowned, “I don’t think so.” Another nurse took her arm, “If we do it right now.” Clemence smiled, ‘OK, let’s do it.” 

Dr. Petit came to place the needle in but, “Mila...I am sorry but it’s not going to work. The needle in this one is bent. I am so sorry.” She would have to do it the old fashioned way. Nikko got her ice chips. He felt horrible. Mila labored for another two hours with complications. 

There baby was born, almost by C-section, and then taken away immediately for inspection. Mila never got to hold it nor Nikko. They tried to be understanding but reality was harsh and they were now faced with the fact that she’d been pregnant and not known and nothing had ever been done to check the baby. 

Mila was passing in and out of consciousness. He stayed with her, holding her hand and wiping her forehead. There was a large explosion somewhere in the city. Sirens began. Mila woke up, upset and confused. Apparently, there had been another attack. Nikko looked at her, “I love you.” She was pitiful, “I love you, too but I want my mom.” She was crying and he leaned over to kiss her, “I know, my beloved. I wish they were all here.” 

She cried silently for another hour until Clemence appeared, “Fluid in lungs and low heart beat/body temp but nothing a little love from mom and dad and a heat lamp can’t solve.” Mila was upset, “I’m scared. I don’t understand…” Nikko and Clemence were concerned but understanding, “Nikko can hold the baby first, ok?” Clemence watched as Mila stared at the small form before nodding. 

Nikko was crying as he took the form, “Oh HaShem…” He was in aw, “Mila, my love, this is amazing. Clemence, what is it?” Clemence smiled, “Girl.” Nikko gasped in awe, “A girl. I have a daughter. Daughter….” He leaned next to Mila and she leaned into him, “Can I hold her?” He handed her over and Clemence left them alone. 

Nikko looked at Mila as she kissed and inspected her baby. They admired their daughter for the rest of the night. Nikko took her in his arms, sobbing, “Thank you. Thank you, Mila. Thank you for this gift you’ve given me. I have never known such love as this and she is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. You are my sun but she is my moon. Equally, you two are my world, my days and nights, and what I need in order to survive and understand my place in the universe.” 

Mila watched as he kissed the tip of her nose and petted her hair, “What will we name her?” Nikko smiled, “I have an idea.” 

* 

Nikko had left to gather baby materials when Jacob called, “Catherine and I have already taken up the duty and have used the spare card key to set things up in your house. I hope you don’t mind.” Nikko didn’t and when he and Mila brought Lylah Bracha Ackermann home three days later Jacob and Catherine were waiting. “How did her name come about?” Catherine was holding Lylah and looking at Jacob expectantly. Mila smiled at Nikko, “Lylah means Night and Bracha means Blessing. She was out little night blessing.” 

Mila and Nikko had their picture taken with their daughter, smiling happily. That night, Nikko bathed her and sat in the bed with her on his chest. Mila was up and moving, “I was so fatigued that this feels so strange.” She wanted to move to keep from getting sore and recover faster, “Do you think we can start a daycare at the lab?” Nikko started to laugh, “For us? Sure. We can do anything, Mila.” 

They went back to work with Lylah and put her in a pack and play. Mila and Nikko were committed to trying to find a loophole in their situation. Mila would hold Lylah as she walked back and forth through the lab overseeing the workers. Lylah was quiet, smiled a lot, and slept most of the time. Nikko loved her and loved Mila even more as she held her. 

Nikko loved Mila so much his soul ached to be near her, to feel her, to know her. 

And then their bubble of love and happiness popped.


	179. Son of Levi

The increase in plague victims displaying variant behavior had risen. They called them variants and one man was particularly of interest. Nikko and Mila were chomping at the bits to see him and study him but they were also pulled away by the fact that Mila’s parents were coming to Paris to do research as well. 

“We should tell them.” Mila was feeding Lylah. She was nervous, “We should tell them and it’ll be fine.” Nikko thought about it, “We can’t really tell them because I don’t want the world to know she’s ours. If we tell then it’ll be clear she’s both of ours. If she’s just yours and some boyfriend then she has protection.” 

Mila looked aghast, “What the actual fuck are you talking about?” 

Nikko removed a letter from the Legion and she read it. 

“They can’t have two officers married and with a child.” 

“They’ll punish us and her.” 

“They’re supposed to be defenders of democracy.” 

“Well, all governments are corrupt and we work in shadows and darknets. I guess this was to be expected and is the standard. Should I read to you anything written by uncle Marco?” She laughed, “I guess we shouldn’t greet them at the airport with a baby and rings on.” Mila looked sad, “We can ask Catherine and Jacob. Catherine would love practice.” 

Nikko frowned, “Baby’s first sleep over.” 

* 

Catherine kissed on and loved on Lylah after Mila and Nikko left. Jacob came in from work and sat down, “You know what I do.” She looked at him coyly, “I do. I don’t care. I don’t dare breathe a word.” Jacob sat back in his chair, “Then you know you’ll be a single mother most of the time.” She looked at him, “And you think that scares me? Ha! I’ve seen your underwear. Now, that scares me.” Jacob burst into laughter, “I am most in love with you.” 

* 

Hanji and Oskar were waiting for their bags when Levi video called, “Shitty glasses, where the fuck are you?” She grinned ear to ear, “I’m at baggage claim.” Levi looked disgusted, “It’s such a filthy violent place.” Hanji snickered, ‘You hate all gathering places for people.” Levi frowned, “With all the outbreaks I’d say I was doing the right thing.” He was nervous, “Eren had a cold.” 

Hanji knew that was the real reason he called, “A cold?” Levi looked positively angry, “Yes.” Hanji laughed shortly, “Fuck him for getting a cold.” Levi glared, “He shouldn’t get colds!” She gave him a pointed look, “You realize we’re old now, right?” Levi scoffed, “He’s not old.” She shrugged, “Well, he’s in his 40s.” Oskar waved and asked her to stay there. He’d get their bags. 

Levi sat back in his office chair at the hospital, “Oskar is much more reasonable than you to talk to about things like this.” She thought that was interesting. Only sometimes did Levi admit that he spoke to Oskar privately. They seemed to have a special relationship based on cleaning supplies and lived experiences. Oskar told Hanji that Levi and he spoke about flowers, poetry, her, and second chances. 

Levi looked at the file in front of him, “Mossad wants us out of retirement and they’ve asked that we come up with a way to vaccinate soldiers and other high ranking officials against this new strain. They’re impressed by our children’s work but think we should expand on it and perfect it. I’m a little miffed because my Nikko does great work but also a little smug because it’s still assumed in the scientific community I’m better than him.” He smirked and Hanji thought he looked very handsome, “You’re such a turd, Levi.” 

She hung up the phone and Oskar had their things ready, “Hanji, I think we should stop by the candy store and get some things for the kids.” She tilted her head to the side, “You mean for us, right?” He smiled, “Thank God you saw right through that. I want parisian chocolate.” 

They drove around and got their candy before heading to the apartment. They were early and surprised to see cleaners. Mila left a note: 

We’ve been working so much we’re never home. Nikko called them. Levi referred them. It’s legit. 

Oskar kissed Hanji a few times, “This is the city of love, my love.” She pushed on him, “I want to see the patients!” Oskar sighed, “Of course, I was such a fool.” He kissed her over and over until she relented, “We can go to the tower….I guess….” They went around Paris and noted the contamination areas. They were places to report when one thought they had the plague. 

Oskar found them very upsetting. Hanji thought Levi would, too. 

They were walking to the hospital when they saw the crowds. People were dying and those who needed to claim their bodies were being told they were being burned. It was critical that this take place or the pestilence would spread. She felt bad for them and thought that there could be a more effective way for them to find closure. 

Oskar showed his pass to the officer who let them in. They were escorted to the floor where most patients who were in the initial stages were. She text Mila to see where she was but there was no answer. Oskar made small talk as they checked charts and vitals. Hanji was famous and often spoke to residents about her thoughts on the plague currently and her past projects. 

”Dr. Zoe-Dracul, how are things in America? We hear the plague is only in small pockets there and not prevalent in society.” A young boy with a fresh face and mind stood straightly next to her, “Also, what news does America have on the role that the Wall may play in this?” Hanji thought carefully, “While the Wall does many things, I would hesitate to say they are behind this. They claim their attacks and whoever is in charge of the Wall surely knows that viruses do not discriminate.” 

It was an unpopular opinion but one she knew was true. One Eye was a smart man and he’d long proclaimed that his arm of the Reiss hydra was not involved in that aspect of the war. This was clearly an answer to the water filters. Something was wrong with the Reiss plan and now they were making viruses one after another. 

There was a commotion at the end of one of the hallways but it was blocked off. Hanji was interested and Oskar pulled her away, “No, no, no, you’re not welcome there.” 

* 

Mila and Nikko were granted access to the variant that as causing all the stir. “Miss, your mother and father are here.” Mila nodded at the nurse and then turned to Nikko, “I wish I could be called Mrs…” He smiled and kissed her sweetly, “I do, too. But, I wish more that we were home with our baby.” 

She leaned against him and looked at the chart, “Non-responsive, no questions answered, displays extremely paranoid and dissasisitive characteristics when responsive, bloodshot eyes, and a craving for,” 

Mila lowered the chart without speaking. Nikko looked concerned, ‘What is it?” 

“Šakotis.” 

Nikko chuckled, “I love those when you make them. Your mother makes the best and sneaks them to my aba when my baba isn’t home.” 

She smiled a little, “I think it’s nice but it’s sad. I guess he’s Lithuanian.” She looked at the tile floor and then tapped Nikko with the chart, “Let’s go, you filthy animal.” He grabbed her, pulling her closer, “You’re the filthy one.” He kissed her and they left the room to head down the hallway. 

She opened the door while he followed. They were wearing suits and the patient had been restrained upright in a chair. His head leaned to the right and his eyes were droopy and bloodshot. He was shirtless, in his mid 50s with shaggy, dirty hair. Nikko walked right into Mila. She’d stopped walking. 

When Nikko tried to see her face he heard a garbled gasping sound come from the man. He lifted his head back up and blinked often. He was staring at Mila and she wasn’t moving. Nikko stepped in front of her more, protectively. It was a raspy sound, barely audible but the room was quiet, “Hanji….Levi….” 

Mila’s face was so pale she nearly looked dead. Her lips were quivering. Her eyes brimmed with fat tears till the fell over and down her cheeks. Nikko looked closer at him and then moved more towards her. His eyes were green. His jaw, his face, it was all so familiar like deja vu. 

She was now shaking. 

He seemed to come more to life. He blinked, head rolling around and tongue searching. He was acting like he was drunk. Nikko was on edge. He was categorizing his symptoms while pushing his wife against the wall and as far away as possible. 

The man wheezed, “Levi.” 

Nikko was staring, “No, sir. I’m Nikko.” 

His eyes opened wider, muscles tensed, “Nehe-miah.” 

Nikko was now fully in front of Mila, ‘Yes, that’s my name.” 

He stared at the man while he seemed stretch more. He coughed and coughed but there was no blood. “Mila. Mila.” She let out a broken sounding sob, “Dad.” Nikko’s entire body was on fire. He suddenly wanted to vomit, “M-mike?” 

He seemed to snap out of his zombie like state, “Yes, my name is Mike. My daughter is Mila Pamellah and my wife’s name is Hanji. She’s a doctor. My daughter has curly chestnut hair with lots of red pigment. She like dinosaurs, playing doctor, and shit she loves her uncle Levi.” Mike started to cry, “I just wanna go home.” Nikko took a shuddering breath, “Mike, you know who I am?” 

Mike nodded, “But, you’re too old.” 

Nikko shook his head, “No, you’ve just been gone for so long.” 

”Mila?” 

Mila moved out from behind him, “Mila is here. I’m Mila. Dad?” 

Mike and Mila were having one of the saddest reunions Nikko ever imagined possible. Nikko pulled her out of the room and put her behind the glass while they spoke. He ran tests and concluded something beyond odd: he couldn’t spread the virus through the air. He still had some in his system but it seemed to be dormant. 

Mila was able to take her suit off and sit in room with Mike as he started to return to normal human life. “I’ve been so far away. My mind has been so cloudy. But, when I was left alone I was able to think about you and your mother. My love is all that’s kept me here. It’s all that’s kept me awake. When they leave me alone I’m able to find myself again.” 

She held his hand, “Who took you away from us?” 

He looked at her seriously, “Them….they live in me. I’m a part of it and I don’t know how.” She was concerned he was suffering from schizophrenia. “Dad, people don’t live-” 

“I’m not crazy like that. This is something you don’t understand yet but you will. I have a blood sickness. I have a sickness in my blood. It flares up and it’s brought on by something. I call it “them” because of reasons you don’t yet understand, my beautiful daughter.” He reached up to touch her face, “I love you. I love you so much and I love your mother. You two are the only things in my world, my heart, my mind. If it wasn’t for you two I’d have died long ago.” 

She spent more time with him as Nikko looked at his samples. Nikko came back and confirmed something odd, “There are strange things in his blood.” She pulled back, “We have to help him.” Her voice was strained from crying. He wiped her tears from her cheek. Mike watched from his chair through the glass. He moved a strand of her hair behind her ear, “We’re going to find something, habibit.” 

She returned to Mike. He sighed, “He looks just like his father.” She nodded, “He does.” He took her hand, “Are you seeing him?” Her voice was guarded, “N-no.” He smiled and leaned back in his chair, sagging, “Good. You don't need to waste your time on him.” His voice was so relieved. 

He continued,

“Never have a child with the son of Levi Ackermann.”


	180. Vaccine Role Play

“[Dr. Ackermann](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/54/35/80/5435807be7c8bf28c73798b6cc7e5221.jpg)!” Hanji’s voice was ecstatic, “OH DR. ACKERMANN!” She grabbed Nikko up in her arms and crushed him to her chest, “It’s like looking at Levi in the past. But, my God, you’re so handsome! Is this allowed in the office? Is this what got you that girlfriend in Germany?” 

Nikko did look nice but it was a little more relaxed than his usual uniform. He had tried his best to dress more approachable as Mila had put it. [She](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/73/c5/ef/73c5ef92d16383ee005ff79a2034e65b.jpg) stepped out of the room and walked down the hall hearing her mother’s loud laughter and entered a room to a flurry of papers and Oskar politely cleaning his hands after touching things. 

Hanji attacked Mila with kisses, “Oh, sweetie, I think your Apu (dad) and I have decided to look at this plague like Ebola. I think if we can find a patient that has resisted it then we can use their blood to make transfusions and vaccines.” She spoke quickly and Oskar provided more information in written form. Mila kept looking at Hanji’s ring. Nikko kept thinking about it, too. 

Mila looked at Oskar, “Apuka….I need to speak with you. Nikko can you show mom what we’ve been working on?” Nikko did just that while Mila took Oskar outside of the room. She wanted to sob and sob. 

“Oskar, do you remember when you asked me if I wanted to be adopted?” He looked at her, “I do. It was a very important question.” She looked at him, “It really was.” 

Levi had appeared at his house, “We need to talk.” He was over his bed, in the middle of the night, rain beating on the glass. Oskar reached over, “Don’t even think about it.” Oskar sighed, “I’m turning the light on.” 

Levi’s voice was monotone, “You keep a knife in that drawer.” 

Oskar laughed shortly, “And a gun under my pillow. Why waste time?” 

He turned the light on and illuminated a soaking wet Levi clad in black leather, “You want to adopt Mila.” 

Oskar nodded, “I’ve asked. I’m marrying her mother and I love her like a daughter. If she wants it, then she can have it. If not, then it’s not a problem.” 

Levi glared, “Her father might not be dead.” 

Oskar paused, “He’s been gone for so long that I am able to marry Hanji. He is gone and I can do nothing to change that. I love that woman more than words and Mila is the apple of my eye. You cannot deny that I cherish her or are your standards so high that I will never be good enough?” 

Levi didn’t speak, “I don’t doubt you love her. I think you’re putting something too heavy on her shoulders.” 

Levi turned to leave but Oskar spoke, “You can feel guilty all you want but you’ve got to move on, Levi. You’ve got to let it go.” 

Levi turned around, “I’m not guilty!” 

Oskar stared pointedly, ‘Yes, you are.” 

“Of what, Dr. Dracul?” 

Oskar frowned, “Guilt over loving another man’s wife.” Levi was bright red in the face. Oskar continued, “I get it. You love Hanji. Maybe not as much as Eren but she’s so important that you’re willing to blur lines and cross them. You’ve done a good job at it. No one knows and anything suspicious is always covered up under the guise of friendship and unconventional relationship. But, Levi, Hanji is mine. She’s mine and Eren is yours.” 

Levi was seething, “You’d do well to keep your mouth shut.” 

“I’m not trying to make an enemy but I am telling you that I’m a worthy one should you push it. Mike may have been relaxed and made peace with you as a competitor but I haven’t. I respect you and our friendship but there is only room for Hanji in our relationship. I’m not going to share her like that. Mila, on the other hand, has always been with you as a package. I knew that from the beginning and I’m fine with that.” 

“In fact, I appreciate it. It’s just that, I don’t appreciate someone sleeping with the person I sleep with.” 

Levi was enraged, “I DON’T SLEEP WITH HANJI!” He moved across the floor, “You know nothing of us.” Oskar met his gaze, “I know all I need to. You have slept with her. Whether you want to admit it or not on one of those trips it happened. I know you feel bad. I would, too. I know Eren would be most upset but probably even he’d understand it was a slip. I’m sure it happened when Mike was around. I’ve often thought there was a reason she agreed to move.” 

Levi was wounded, sick from shame. He hated himself. Oskar was right. He’d slipped up one other time and he’d tried to tell Eren like the first time but he was so sick he’d simply been hospitalized for lack of eating and fatigue. David had come dangerously close to figuring it out in his sessions with him but since then they’d done nothing improper other than kiss. 

It had been three years. 

He wanted to fight Oskar. 

So, he punched him. 

A few hours later the house was destroyed and they both looked horrible. He was a formidable fighter. They sat, smoking, on the floor of the living room while the storm raged on. Levi’s lip was bleeding, “Hanji and Mila were once my wife and child.” Oskar started to cough, “Fuck man, you gotta give me some more detail with that.” 

Levi was frowning, “It’s not going to make sense, Oskar. The story is so large and I don’t have time for someone to say dumb shit like “that’s not possible, Levi” or “tell me more” so don’t even fucking bother.” He sighed, “There have been past lives in which Hanji and I have married and had a child. That child has been Mila. There are more lives where she married Mike and Mila was his daughter. That’s why I sometimes find it very hard to separate myself from Hanji when I meet her in lives first.” _Or Armin, my mami._

Oskar reached under the coffee table and pulled out a bag of weed, “This is fucked up.” Levi snorted, “Yeah, it’s really fucked up.” 

Levi and Oskar talked and it made things much better. 

The next day he asked Mila if she’d like him to adopt her after he married her mother. She had sat down on the couch at his apartment carefully. She’d looked at the stuffed camel she’d name Moshe that Nikko had picked out for her while she thought. 

“I don’t see there being a problem with that.” 

She’d said it simply. It was as if it was the most logical thing in the world. 

Oskar blinked, “What do you mean, my little sparrow?” 

Mila looked up, “Well, you will become my other father legally when you marry my mother. But, adoption means you’re actually more devoted to me than other stepchildren and I really appreciate that. I love you and I know you love me. This just makes us more of a family on paper. I know who my dad is and this doesn’t mean I have to forget him or give up on him. But, it does reflect the fact that it’s very unlikely I’d ever see him again.” 

She was a little emotional, “I love him and I love you. You love my momma and this is really important or you wouldn’t have asked.” He smiled, “You don’t have to change your last name, sweetheart.” She smiled, “I’ll take Dracul but only as a hyphen.” He laughed, “You’re momma is doing the same.” 

She had run to Levi the next day telling him how excited she was and that they were going to have a little ceremony if he wanted to come. Levi had kissed her and said he’d love to. Oskar and Levi stayed close after that and occasionally they had a few more fights in the middle of the night over Hanji and Mila. He enjoyed the thrill of it and the smoking afterwards. 

Mila was twisting a [ring](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/d2/51/7b/d2517b8bce94efc6ebfd2876cc106d16.jpg) that Levi had given her. Oskar knew it was one of the rings that had been given to her in a past life. Gisela had been so excited to see her open it. She’d admired it and wanted it herself. Another ring on her right hand looked like an engagement ring. “Is that an engagement ring?” Mila looked up, “No! It’s just a nice ring I treated myself to.” 

“Apu, I have important things to tell you and they’re so hard to say.” He looked concerned, “Are you and Nikko fighting?” She bit her lip. What had Mike meant about having a child with Nikko? “My….my…” she was crying now, “f-f-fa-ather is alive and infected. He’sss down the hall.” Oskar stood like a statue. She felt her knees tremble. He took her hand, “I’m happy for you, Mila. Is he going to make it or?” 

She couldn’t believe that his first thought was of her. 

“Apuka.” She sobbed before burying her face in his chest. 

Oskar held her tightly, “You know you can always tell me anything.” 

But, she couldn’t really. 

_Never have a child with the son of Levi Ackermann._

Hanji and Nikko appeared, “MILA!” Hanji stroked her hair, “Baby, what’s wrong.” Oskar looked at Nikko who closed his eyes. They were tired, new parents barely making it work in that sense, their child was away and their marriage was a secret. The Legion was angry and putting pressure on them to make certain breakthroughs that they could use. 

But, worst of all was Gisela. 

Nikko had been shocked when his sister had been among the photos of high ranking targets for The Wall, Soldiers, and other organizations. She was wanted for many reasons, not just who her parents were. Then the calls from Zev started pouring in from numbers in Beit Shemesh. “Please, please help her. Please, do something, anything. Have her move back in with you. Please, I beg you brother. Someone is going to hurt her.” 

Zev had been inconsolable but Nikko couldn’t just pick her out of her life and bring her to France. That would be too suspicious but then again how was Gisela such a target? 

_Keita._

Nikko had booked a flight to Israel steaming and fuming. He got to the airport, got a car, and went to the apartment he’d spent many a Summer in Israel in. He got to the building and took the stairs two at a time. His key was in his hand, then in the door. Jaffa was on her hands and knees helping him scrub the floors. 

She looked at Keita, “My ima puts more sea salt in it.” He scoffed, “My ima chooses to add it later. It keeps the rocks hard and then the scratching exfoliates.” Jaffa rolled her eyes, “Why don’t you marry your mother.” Keita frowned, “I would be so lucky!” 

Jaffa was about to reply when a blur went by. Keita was on the floor, head slammed into the stained cement where his blood now stained it. The man on him was livid, “Brother, you’ve gone too far.” Keita elbowed him and she grabbed him up. 

It was interesting. She was the top fighter and earned her position as a bodyguard but this man was above her. His skills were unique and soon she was throw into a table and pinned down by the weight of an armchair that had been thrown on top of her. He was a fury. A passion filled fury from those books her mother read to her. 

Keita was holding his own well but she couldn’t assist him, “You let me down and you’ve let your family down. You disgust me. I know your secrets, Keita. I know who you really are.” 

* 

Jaffa wrapped her leg while Keita and Nikko stared at each other, “He needed to choose me. He will choose me.” Nikko didn’t speak. He merely vibrated like his father. He emanated a hostile energy. “It’s him.” Keita nodded, “It’s him.” Nikko’s nuckles were white, “Then prove it.” 

* 

Hanji was trying to figure out what was happening between them when Nikko took her hand, “We have something very upsetting to tell you. Neither Mila nor I have had long to process it and we’re not the problem.” Hanji calmed herself, “Well, if you two are okay and Oskar is okay then it can’t be that bad.” 

But, it was. 

Hanji had to be sedated. 

She had saw him through the glass, gone stiff, and started screaming. She’d pulled at her hair. Her reaction was traumatizing. Oskar remained with Mila while Nikko laid Hanji in his office to calm down. Oskar walked towards the glass cautiously, “This is your father.” She held his hand, “You’re also my father, Apu. That will never change.” He held her hand, “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.” 

* 

Oskar sat down in front of Mike. He woke back up, “Hello.” Oskar smiled, friendly and bright, “Hello, Mr. Zacharius. I’m Dr. Dracul and it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Mike nodded, “Nice to meet you. Are you going to help me?” Oskar wrote on his board, “That’s the plan. I need to ask you a few routine questions. Dr. Ackermann and Dr. Zacharias are busy tending to an unruly patient.” 

Mike looked concerned, “Do you know Dr. Zacharias?” Oskar lowered the board, “I do. How do you know her?” Mike smiled sadly, “She’s my little girl.” Oskar’s blood pressure was rising. “She’s so beautiful. She’s like her mother.” Oskar wrote down more, “How much do you remember?” Mike groaned, “Too much.” 

“Mike, I’ve heard you left your daughter and wife. Why?” 

Mike looked at the wall, “That’s something I’m not ready to tell to you. Mila and Hanji….Hanji needs that. Hanji….Hanji…Han-” He lost his voice, “Is there anyway I can see my wife?” Oskar smiled, “I’m not sure but let’s answer some of the questions at least.” he moved to another page, “What are your symptoms?” 

Mike thought about it, “It’s….in the beginning it’s the same for all like me. We start hearing whispers and then we’re uncomfortable. It feels like something really warm is under our skin. Then there is an itch but it fades. We get more and more uncomfortable and then our moods change. We get violent, depressed, out of control. We don’t sleep well and that’s really part of the reason we’re so moody.” 

“Then we feel like something is actually moving in our body. We see it sometimes. That’s when we know it’s in the blood. It looks dark under our skin in our veins. Then, we start to lose control. It’s horrible. Our body is not our own. We want to change and I can’t really describe it because we’re torn in three. We know that something is wrong. We know we want to change. We know that we just can’t change….anymore.” 

“I asked someone else like me why I’m not dead or like the other infected. This has been going on over twenty years. They said it’s because I was _unwoke_ in the original life. They said I'd been changed and that my blood isn't like theirs from birth. It's very confusing. Apparently, I wasn't born sick but was merely made sick.” Oskar knew that term “Original life” well. Levi and Hanji had used it when explaining things. Hanji sometimes talked about how excited she was every time Mila had a birthday. She would get so emotional he’d take Mila somewhere the day after and let her go to Levi’s. 

“So, the first few years I was awake and felt every horrible second of it. I was so upset that I rebelled often and even escaped a few times. That’s when it all sort of changed.” 

“Do you have typical symptoms of the other victims?” He looked at Oskar, “Fever, shaking, delirium, and thirst….thirst for blood or something more than that. Thirst for spinal fluid. But, then there is the horrible hunger for meat, flesh. I hate it the most.” Oskar made more notes, “How is it that you’re so awake now?” Mike thought about it, “Because I….I thought I saw my wife. I saw Mila and thought she was my wife when she was younger. Now, I know she’s my daughter and I’m so close to getting my life back that I’m fighting it well.” 

“When you’re focused you can resist. When you think you’ve lost everything there’s just nothing there to keep you awake and away from them. I have often thought about my daughter and how she must look and smell and her likes and dislikes. I wanna know who she’s dating and if she’s happy.” 

Oskar asked more questions and then left. He slid down the door in the office where Hanji was on the couch. She reached over and stroked his face before sitting back up. She took her hair down out of a ponytail and removed her glasses to clean them. She stood, removed her coat, and took the name tag off, “I am so sorry. I deserved this but not you, Oskar. I am so sorry.” She made her way to the door and felt like a convict on death row. 

Mike was more than shocked. He was overcome with emotion. She stood there, tears streaming down her face. He sobbed, open mouthed. Her name echoed in the room and she moved towards him, broken, hollow, guilty. She gripped the sides of his face kissing him. Mike heaved, his soul heaved inside of him. It tried to shuck him, throw off the physical skin that constrained it. She cried bitterly; it tasted like the sea. 

Mike struggled to break his bonds. When he succeeded she remembered that boy who threw hay bales in the barn like they were nothing. He was burning up and kissed her breathless, “I have missed you with every fiber of my being. I have longed for you every moment since I left. I have cried a tear for every second I have been away from you. I am nothing without you other than a zombie. I am a titan in a man’s body. I love you, Hanji. I love you!” 

Hanji melted into him, “I love you, too. I love you so much. God!” Her face was contorted. She was dying inside from the this. She had given up hope on this man, loved another and now….she’d cheated on them both and she was getting what she deserved. She was getting exactly what she deserved. 

They spent a few hours together before she emerged. 

Dr. Petit was with Nikko and Mila at the end of the hallway reviewing Oskars notes. He was speaking quietly. Oskar was trying to make himself small. Dr. Petit turned to see her. He had worked with her and Levi before and they’d known each other many years, “I’m sorry, Hanji. You’re in a place no one should be. You don’t deserve this. None of you do.” 

Hanji stared, “I deserve this.” Her voice a whisper, “I deserve this. My daughter does not. Oskar does not. But, me, I deserve this.” 

Dr. Petit sputtered, “You can’t possibly believe that!” 

She scoffed, “It’s true. This is all I deserve. I’m back at the foot of the hill of crosses.” 

Nikko had done right. He had made a choice when this first happened that he had deliberated about for some time. Now, he knew he was right. 

“Momma...what are you talking about?” Hanji walked towards Mila, “Mila, I love you.” She kissed her forehead, “Nikko. I’m leaving. Oskar, I’ll be back. I just can’t do this.” She moved down the halls slowly, drunkenly. She was dying. Her husband had died...now he was back. She had another husband and he’d nearly died, too. He’d nearly died in a metal container. She had a daughter whose world was now a wreck. 

Hanji went to the streets to escape her problems. 

* 

Mila sat down, pulling at her clothes. Mike was moved to another room and Nikko drew his blood while she waited, “Dad?” Mike smiled, “Mila?” She smiled, “Can you keep a secret?” He looked at her seriously, “You wouldn’t even believe how well I can keep one.” She looked out the window at Oskar working, “It’s really important.” 

Nikko looked concerned, “Mila?” She seemed scared, “Why did you say that I shouldn’t have a child with Nikko?” Nikko barely had time to take his jaw off the floor when Mike sat up, “Because they’ll want it. His blood is special and it’s cursed. They’ll seek the child out, kill it, and take it’s power. You’re very special, too. A child from you and Nikko would be one of the most highly coveted things in the world to them.” 

Mila and Nikko felt their stomachs in their throats, “Now, if a Smith and Ackermann had a baby, now, that would actually be the most important child to abduct. They wouldn’t even kill it. It’s perfect for what they need. A half breed would be killed immediately but not a pure breed.” 

Nikko was horrified, “What the fuck are you talking about?! Who is killing them?! Who wants them?!” Mike looked at Nikko, “You don’t know anything, do you? Your blood is special.” 

Nikko’s anger grew, “And the Smiths’ isn’t.” 

Mike seemed amused, “The Reiss family wants to unlock the secret of your blood and there is something much more special about the Smith family that you don’t seem to know. You should ask your father.” Nikko fumed, “I will.” Mike rolled his head to the side, “Damn, you get angry like Eren but look just like Levi. Why are you two so concerned? I always thought Mila would be with Bellamy. I’ll ask you again: _Are_ you two together?” 

They were silent. 

Mike thought about it, “God, I hope not.” 

Mila felt like she’d been stabbed, “What?” 

Mike didn’t say anything. It was crushing him. The thought was too much. “Dad….Nikko and I are together.” Nikko looked at her, “Mila!” 

“But we can’t tell anyone. You cannot tell anyone.” 

Mike sat back up, “Why?” 

She was crying, “You can’t tell anyone.” 

“Okay.” 

She took his hand, “And we-” 

”MILA! NO!” 

“Have a baby girl.” 

Mike looked completely shock, ‘You….have a baby with Nikko.” She wiped her face, “We’re married and she was….I didn’t know I was pregnant. She came in the middle of the night two and half weeks ago. She’s with trusted friends. I’m….scared.” He wanted to cry, “You’ve got to hide her. They can’t know. You’ve done well to not say anything…..you were born early, too….in the middle of the night...S-she said….you married him? You married Nikko? Fuck, that’s rich. Fuck, fuck, fuck…” 

Nikko was annoyed, pissed off, and frustrated. “I’m not some shitty punk. I’m a doctor, a religious man, and I am completely in love and devoted to your daughter.” Mike stared, “But, you’re Levi’s son and I never wanted you to be with Mila. I wanted a nice Christian boy, like a Bodt or Kirschstein, maybe Maxim’s kids, to be with her. Nothing Jewish and nothing like you.” Nikko was already stretched too thin. Mila stood up, “Why? It really doesn’t make any sense. Obviously, you’re telling us our child is now at risk and we have to deal with that. But, there’s something else there. You sound so angry.” 

Mike was sour looking, “Maybe I’m tired of Levi Ackermann taking from me all he can? Maybe you being with his son only means he has more claim to you than I do? I have tried to not be bitter but why the fuck does he get all the love in world? I show up and you’re right where he wants you. Your mother,” his voice broke, “she never….” 

Mike looked devastated. He sputtered, tears staining his face. He was so bitter and defeated. 

“Neither of you ever loved me as much as you love him. He took everyone I loved from me and he didn’t even try. He didn’t even try. It wasn’t malicious or personal. It was just him and his ability to make people love him and want to make him better. I don’t know why I’m not enough but he’s too much. I’m not enough for one person to love and he requires so many. I used to love him like a brother but now I hate him. All these years and he’s had all the love of my family.” 

Mike stared at the ceiling, the weight of the world on his chest. 

Levi was in the doorway. 

Nikko didn’t notice. He was just angry, so angry he could barely control it. His body vibrated and then, “Well, I hope you can manage having his son save your life.” He tossed the clipboard down, “You’ll live because you have a daughter and she’s been searching for you for years. You’ll live, so that you can wallow in the knowledge that it’s Levi’s son that made you live. She has wanted you returned to her for so long that now that you’re here, it’s where you’re going to stay. Wallow in your hate. I don’t give a fuck.” 

He left out of the side room, livid. He destroyed the room while his rage grew. Sometimes, being his baba’s son wasn’t a good thing. His rage knew no bounds. Levi entered the room, “It’s like Eren but in my body.” He was sorrowful, his cheeks stained with tears, “Mike has every right to hate me.” Nikko was even more angry, “SHUT UP! That isn’t true!” Levi was blanched and lethargic, “I’m so sorry, Nikko.” 

Nikko looked at the room, “He’s got the key somewhere in him. I need it. I need that to help make a vaccine. She’s thought he was dead for so long and has been miserable. We’ve got to figure it out.” Levi looked around the room, “Where is she?” Nikko heard something in his voice that was different than any other time he’d asked about Hanji, “I don’t know.” 

Levi looked at the ground, “I do.” 

Nikko was confused, “Is there something going on?” 

Levi looked at Nikko, “In the past, before Mike and Hanji….I was with Hanji. Mike isn’t lying and he has every right to feel like he does.” Nikko had never been told this, “You were with Hanji?” Levi looked older, more tired, “Hanji...saved my life when I came back from the marines. She gave me a purpose and healed me. She ultimately helped me understand that my….my place was with Erwin. Then, shit, she met Eren and that's when it happened. I met my soulmate because of her. She pushed me to see him and put him in my class.” 

Nikko looked confused, “But, I thought you and daddy had always been together. Since, you were in the marines.” Levi moved backwards, resting his hands on the doorframe leading out to the hallway, “Nikko, parents tell their children stories that are as close to the truth as possible while allowing them to be understood. The truth, as you know, is often much more complicated.” He frowned, “I will try and tell you more once I find Hanji and bring her back here.” 

Nikko ran forward, “Aba, no! Don’t leave me!” 

Levi kissed him chastely, “I have to find her. I’m sorry.” 

Oskar was in the doorway, “Levi?!” Levi clasped his hand on his shoulder, “I’m going to find Hanji.” Oskar grabbed him, “Let me.” Levi shook his head, “No, Oskar, she’s probably having the hardest time thinking about how this is affecting you and Mila.” Oskar let go, “But, she’s my wife.” Levi stopped, “I know. She’s your wife. She’s Mike’s wife. She’s….Do you get my point?” Oskar did and he thought about it, “Go, I’ll stay with Mila and Nikko will help.” 

Levi left the hospital to find Hanji. 

Nikko looked at Oskar, “Does he know you’re her husband?” Oskar shook his head, “I can’t tell him that.” Nikko nodded, “Let’s cut to the chase.” Nikko told him of his suspicions about the virus mutation leaving out a few facts here and there about his involvement. Oskar seemed to notice there was more but he was happy for the distraction. Nikko sat back, “I don’t want her in the room with him for a long time. I’ll have him moved to a nicer room with an intercom.” 

Oskar appreciated how Nikko was motivated by Mila and her need to spend time with Mike. He was also hoping to distract himself with being a doctor and knew that’s what Nikko was doing too, “Did you know my father had actually been with Hanji?” Oskar nodded, ‘Yes, I knew.” Oskar laughed nervously and Nikko felt awkward, “Do you….not like that?” 

Nikko had known they’d gone on a date and that Levi thought she was a wonderful woman. He’d told him as a boy that people like Hanji were rare and they were to be treasured. Nikko had always been close with her and loved staying with her at her home and in her office at the hospital. “I’m fine with it. We had a very polite talk about it.” Oskar thought about the time Levi stabbed him in the gut with a dagger after he’d beat him senseless and left him for dead. 

He didn’t need to tell his son that. 

“Let’s see what we can do with Mike’s blood and perhaps, what you’ve already made up with the inhaler.” 

* 

Mila called Catherine, “How is she?” She leaned against the wall, “Happy?” Catherine laughed, “She’s doing beautifully. I mean, Mila. She is a joy. I am in love with her! Jacob says we can start planning for one but of course, I want to start _after_ the plague.” Mila started to cry and Catherine didn’t ask. She talked about Lylah and a few other things just to give her a reason to stay on the phone. 

“Catherine, I….my father is alive and is a patient. I’m so...my mother is here….my apu is here.” Catherine was silent, “There’s nothing easy about this but just know that you’re loved and there is no right way to handle this. Honestly. You’re an only child. Your mother is worried about all three of you and she’s going to be crazy trying to make it okay.” 

“You can’t tell, Catherine.” She heard her scoff, “You and Jacob. I don’t want to tell your secrets. I have my own stuff to tell and not tell. Listen, I’ll send you photos of her at bath and bed. I’ll even send video if I can get it to work on this new phone Jacob got me. He’s really into gifts.” 

She smiled, “He’s really into his wife.” 

“Great Jewish husband. He won’t give pork up, though.” Mila groaned, “I sneak it here and there and then feel horrible.” She laughed and Catherine spoke a little longer. When she hung up, her phone buzzed with a video of her baby. She went to find Nikko. 

Inside the lab she showed him and he held her hand tightly, “Thank you. I needed that.” She sat down and Oskar looked at them, “Are you two finally together?!” Mila turned around, “We’re dating people.” Oskar stared, “Oh, okay.” 

Mila looked at Nikko, “What can we do?” Nikko had Mike’s blood, “We can use this as the vaccine by mixing it with mine.” She took his hand, “No, I don’t know...I don’t know about using you.” He reached into his file, “I think it’s the only way.” Mila paused, “No, you can’t use yourself. If we put this in people, we shouldn’t put anything in it that can be used against us.” Nikko looked at her, “But, using me is all I know.” She frowned, “We have to do something else.” Oskar deadpanned, “My God, how stupid do you think I am? You are together.” 

Mila spun around in her chair, “Apu! STOP!” He was not amused, “So, it's a secret?” She glared and he smirked, mumbling, “I know a secret now.” She threw a small plastic toy at him, “You know nothing, Apu!” Nikko looked around the room, “Let's say we were and we needed to keep it secret.” 

Mila looked like she could burn him. He looked over at her, “Pay back is a bitch.” She hit him, “You're so vexing!” He kissed her, “I just want to kiss the woman I love in front of her stepfather.” Oskar clapped, “I'm so happy! But, why can't I tell?” They thought quickly, “We'll be fired and we don't want the family all in our business. Please, we're freshly together and not sure where it's going.” 

Oskar could understand that, “Well, you know we’d all be happy about it.” Mila looked at her father’s blood under the microscope when Levi and Hanji appeared. She was still somewhere far away. Her eyes were glassy. Levi had her hand, “Hanji and I think he shouldn’t know.” Mila wiped her face. Nikko turned to his father, “We need to make a vaccine that will act as a booster using Mike’s DNA. We do not need to use our blood. Please don’t ask or suggest it.” 

Levi looked down at his son, “Why would we work with blood that isn’t part of the new strain, Nikko?” Nikko looked down at him, “We cannot save everyone but we can offer people the ability to resist. We must use his blood to find a way to help people survive.” Levi wasn’t so sure, “Except, your blood doesn’t need a booster. It merely acclimates.” Levi was still staring, still silently pushing. 

Nikko was angry. 

Levi’s eyes widened, “Son, you’re not normally this easy to aggravate.” Nikko gripped his pants over his knees, “It’s airborne!” Levi raised an eyebrow and nicked his chin up. It was very much his trademark expression when someone said something he was about to refute, “It is not airborne.” The words were so carefully said and so slowly said, that Nikko felt his brow furrow. 

Levi sat down, “If it was, then we’d have some issues. I think we can just assume that we’ve dodged the bullet right now.” Nikko knew what he’d saw, “There was a container…” He told Levi an edited version, “it has to be airborne.” Levi hummed, “What I….I think the issue is the sheer amount of human waste around and the pressure being released from inside of the container. There were probably microscopic droplets that entered the air when the door opened and others started coughing and that’s what spred it. I hope, at the very least, that HaShem has not forsook us that badly.” Nikko frowned, “HaShem is always with us, Aba. I don’t care for talk like that.” Levi smirked, “So sensitive. You’re such a sensitive little shit.” 

They started looking for some sort of answer or lead when Hanji sat down next to them, “We should probably look to the past.” She spread her fingers wide on the chrome table. Nikko smiled, “Inoculation?” Hanji nodded, ‘Yeah, you know. Let’s begin where it all started.” Mila sighed, “Oh, HaShem….” She knew her mother too well. 

Hanji smiled wickedly, “Oh, come now! A little method acting NEVER hurt anyone.” Levi was frowning, “Hanji-” 

Hanji shook her head no, “YOU ARE DEFS CHARLES MAITLAND!” 

Hanji laid her hands on the table, “So, Lady Montague wanted to inoculate her daughter BUT no one would help her out so she had her son inoculated first.” 

Nikko’s brows furrowed, “Wait, what?’ 

Mila sighed, “Girls are not important, remember?” 

Nikko thought of their daughter and his heart was absolutely crushed, “What?! Ugh, that’s disgusting.” Levi’s eyes flickered just a moment. Mila noticed. Hanji paused before continuing, “So, she had her physician Charles Maitland learn about the inoculation techniques in the Ottoman empire.” 

Levi cut his eyes over and spoke, “Later he illegally tested the technique out on prisoners.” She shrugged, “I mean, are you saying…?” Levi shrugged, “Naw, I’m not mad at some unethical shit.” Nikko looked aghast, “ABA?!” Mila smiled, “It needed to be done to advance science.” Nikko popped her, “Not ethical or proper.” Levi and Hanji exchanged glances. 

They spoke more about the history. 

“Wait,” Nikko looked at Mila, “In the beginning, they noticed that putting people together in houses where they infected themselves with the pox created a sort of controlled inoculation. They would infect each other slowly sometimes and it seemed to make the infection easier to manage.” 

Hanji nodded, “Uh yeah, what’s the point?” 

Levi blinked, “You know, they started with cow pox.” 

Mila was staring at Levi. Nikko noticed, “Could you not stare dreamily at my father while we try to save the world?” Levi chuckled darkly while Hanji snickered. Mila blushed, “The metal containers allow the new virus to burn through the hosts and radicalized. I think that means that the virus is following a similar method of transmission like that of the pox vaccine. After the inoculation of people with cow pox, they were able to withstand pox and only a few fatalities occurred. The royal family in Britain took notice and decided to inoculate the new world.” 

“To do that, they used the numerous orphans in their country. They would infect one orphan and then put them on boats with others. When pustules would form, a needle with thread would be pulled through it and then passed to another orphan. This way, they could make the long voyage to the new world and when they arrived be able to administer it. The downside for Britain was that then, they had all these pesky vaccinated orphans that weren’t dying like before and thus, filling up orphanages.” 

Nikko looked at Mila seriously, “What if we expose your father to this new strain. If he survives, we take his blood and make a vaccine from him.” Mila looked liked she’d been slapped. Her words were heavy, “Expose...Expose my father that I just got back to the most lethal disease we have currently.” Nikko maintained eye contact. He stood up, “Come with me.” Levi and Hanji exchanged glances, “Wait, what can’t you say in front of us?” Nikko kept looking at her, “I need to know Mila is okay with this. I want to speak with her privately. That’s nothing out of the ordinary. We work together. We’re partners.” 

She followed him to the office where they normally kept Lylah, “Mila, we can’t use my blood and the other option is unthinkable.” She looked at him, “Lylah.” She nodded that it was out of the question, “He can’t catch this sickness...at least I don’t think he can.” Mila looked at his chart, “But, he’s somewhat sick.” Nikko looked at her, his eyes moist, “He is and I think he only needs a boost. Once he’s fought it off again we can do it, Mila. We must expose him to the most infectious patients.” 

She moved forward to kiss him. Her lips covered his. 

When she pulled back she was crying slightly, “Okay. Do it. Let’s make sure no one turns their eyes on our daughter.” 

* 

“What are we doing, Mila?” Mike’s eyes were kind but cautious, “Dad, what if you could save us all?” He smiled, “If that were the case then I’d be very impressed. But, I’m not the key. I’m just unfortunate.” Mila started taking blood from him. She handed him a phone in a plastic bag, “This is Lylah.” Mike looked at the picture on her phone and teared up, “God, she is beautiful. Your mother doesn’t know?” Mila shook her head, “No one can know till things get better in the world.” 

He looked at her seriously, ‘It’ll never get better. The world will just end.” 

* 

Nikko called Jacob, “How are things?” Jacob sounded off, “Fine.” Nikko looked around, “I got you pictures, evidence, of her involvement and she’s not been removed. People are dying, Jacob.” Jacob sounded like he wasn’t breathing correctly, “Nikko, these things take time.” Nikko scoffed, “Please.” He looked around, “Why is she still in power?” Jacob sighed, “I don’t know. I’m so sorry. Listen, Lylah is fussy and Catherine is glaring at me to come and….learn.” 

“Why is she fussy?” 

Jacob laughed, “I have no damn clue. Catherine says it’s normal. I’m just going with that. Ohhh wait, she’s smiling now! She’s smiling at meeeee! I gotta go!” 

* 

Mike’s body was so sensitive. He woke up, feverish, and thrashing. Hanji was there, “Mike, Mike, calm down.” She smoothed his hair back with a smile, “You know what? You’re so damn annoying.” He chuckled, “Hanji, I love you and those kids but they’re trying to kill me.” He started coughing and she continued to stroke his hair. Her suit was white and he hated it, “I wish I could kiss you.” She kept he hand still but her heartbeat was irregular. 

Mike closed his eyes. Her voice was soft, “Mike?” He hummed, “Yes?” She took a deep breath, “I want to know who you were hiding from here.” He coughed again, “Hiding….” he smiled brightly, “who said I was hiding?” 

* 

Mila and Levi were working away in the lab, “How is Ezra?” Levi’s pen kept scratching the paper, “He’s doing much better but his anger scares me. It’s just like Eren’s and I know he’s looking for blood.” Mila looked to the side, “Levi?” His pen went silent, “Yes?” She cleared her throat, “What’s the history of the Ackermanns? I mean, how did Nikko’s blood mutate in the first place?” 

They had never talked to the kids about the details, “Mila, why?” 

“Because you’ve always been purposefully vague and I’ve never been allowed to access anything about their blood. I’ve been doing my own research on Nikko’s lately and would love to know more.” Levi sat back, “It’s just a genetic mutation that’s carried on Eren and Marco’s side of the family. They both have Italian, Sephardic, and Turkish ancestors. We’ve done all sorts of testing but it is what it is. We live with it. We accept it. We’ve spent so much time on it that now we just want to focus on other things.” 

Mila sighed, “Zev had his blood banked here along with Keita’s and the others.” Levi looked angry, “Why isn’t he speaking with my daughter, Mila?” She didn’t know what to say, “Well, I only know that they had a falling out. It’s difficult for any of us to speak with either of them about it. He won’t be at the wedding.” The wedding. That and his decision were being neglected. 

****** 

Nikko had paperwork in front of him while Zev smoked in the corner, “You have to choose, me or Keita. There has to be someone with you to help you. We have so much going on and I’m-” 

Zev cut him off, “If I choose you, then you must move. You have to leave and be with me and that means that keeping a job will be impossible unless it’s with me.” 

Nikko looked at the desk, “Zev, it also means I’ll have to do….to do _it_.” Zev sighed and rubbed his chest, “I am so sorry, Nehemiah. You don’t want this. You never wanted to be the leader like this. I’m so sorry.” Nikko rested his chin in his hand, “You never asked to be the king.” Zev had such a sad look in his eyes, “When we do it, we just need to know that we’re doing it so our children and parents can be safe.” 

Nikko scoffed, “It’s all so fucked up.” 

“Are you crumbling under the pressure, Nikko?” 

He nodded, “What you’re asking of me isn’t really my thing and you know it.” 

“Should I choose someone else?” 

“I think…..that your choice is yours alone and must be made without regret.” 

Zev stood up, “Will you join me here?” 

He shook his head, “I like France too much. I just….I’ve committed my time and life there so far.” 

“But, it’s not going to be what we want it to be.” 

“Are you so sure of that?” 

“Do you think your father would have agreed to be the King’s right hand?” 

Nikko thought about it, “Personally, no. I think if my father is your father’s right hand it’s because in the beginning Erwin forced my father through trickery and wit. I think my father’s love for your father has made their relationship possible if they’ve ever been involved with anything like what we are being tasked with.” 

Zev looked at him seriously, “You know I love you.” 

Nikko snorted, “Not like our fathers love each other.” Nikko’s eyes were playful, “Plus, it’s my brother and sister you’ve always wanted.” The mention of Gisela hurt him horribly. He could see it in the way Zev shuddered. _But, Judah_ , Zev spoke, “Do you think he’d ever….?” Nikko gave a tilt to his head, a wry look, and smirk, “Judah is a cat. He’s an asshole who uses you for food, shelter, and let’s you scoop his shit up while he cleans himself and lays around. He is testy and you can only pet him one way or he rejects you and scratches you till you have fever.” 

Zev snickered, “He’s a cat. You’re right. That’s why I want his love. I need his love. Maybe, he’ll not turn me away if I come back.” 

Nikko was looking at their plans when Zev moved closer, “If you could just...come to my side and bring your talent…” Nikko waved him off, “France has been good to me. It’s good me.” Zev sat down next to him, “Nikko, you are my best friend. France isn’t what it was.” He looked at him and cut him off, “Zev, I know. But, loyalty means something to me.” Zev gave him a shove, “So, you and Mila….” 

They finished and he’d returned to France again. 

* 

Mila had come home to him drunk on the couch. It was right after their wedding and he’d had a call from Zev, “The things I’ll have to do are unspeakable.” She climbed on top of him, “The things you’ll have to do will be justifiable. I will be beside you the entire time.” He was crying, “You’ll hate me. You’ll never...I’ll never...my mouth…” 

She kissed him, “I love you and will always love you. In our room is our ketubah. In it I legally bound myself to you and made promises. I love you, Nehemiah Lev Ackermann. I will always love you.” He reached up to touch her face, “Blimela Tal Ackermann.” He grinned, “We have mouthfuls for names, don’t we?” She kissed him again, “Yes, but they have meaning so it’s okay. In the past, we jews didn’t have last names in the traditional sense so lots of names were important.” 

He kissed her sweetly, “Blimela.” 

The diminutive of the name was Mila and a lot of Lithuanian women before WWII had it. It wasn’t a traditional Hebrew name at all. Tal, which meant “dew,” was and the rabbi relented. Mila was his world, his everything. Their names were inked together forever. He kissed her fingertips, “I will become someone you do not know.” 

***** 

Mila and Levi were silent in the office. He turned, “Mila, did you formally convert?” She turned her head, smiled slightly, “I did.” He smiled, it was small, “The woman you were named after was very devout.” He seemed far away. She smirked, “I’m as devout as I am capable of. I don’t believe in covering my hair with a shaitel. My friend, she doesn’t either. I think that nail polish is unsanitary so I don’t worry about it.” He turned around in his chair, “I would hate for you to hide yourself for the sake of modesty. You know I don’t believe in that.” 

She grinned, “Oh yes, I do know.” He looked at her like she was mystical creature, “Mila, I am so….proud of you but I am so sad for you.” Her chest tightened, “What?” He tilted his head to the side and closed his eyes. He was clearly serious and sincere, ‘Being a jew is hard.” She moved from her chair to the floor. She laid her head in his lap, “Being alive is hard.” His fingers moved in her hair. He opened his eyes, a tear streaming down his cheek. 

She lifted her head to turn her face up towards him, “But living life as a jew is the best way to live.” He leaned down and kissed her forehead, “I love you, my Mila. I love you.” She grinned and he sat back in the chair, “Mila, I’ve never asked this and Eren has been kept at bay for so long but…..would you consider marrying one of my sons? I have two that you can choose from. I’ll give you money, trips, gifts, or whatever will make it worth your time.” 

She started to laugh so hard and he had to chuckle at himself, ‘I know! I know. I’m so ridiculous. This is exactly what Eren is like. He’s been wanting to strike up a deal forever. It’s just, how on earth would I ever find a better daughter-in-law? I mean, I’ve got Cesare as a son now. HaShem….Cesare! Judah is lost but he’s always treated you with respect and you and Nikko are ideal, honestly.” 

She wanted to push him, “Why?” 

Levi blinked, “I mean, I could make a list. You two are great compliments. You know, some jews do arranged marriages. Are you open?” She laughed louder and he looked shy, “Sorry.” She kissed his cheek, “Let’s come back to that once we have a vaccine.” He went back to his papers, blushing and feeling guilty, “Don’t look so guilty, Levi.” 

He scoffed, “I just tried to pimp my children out.” 

She thought about how pleased he’d be to know she’s already pinned one down. 

* 

Mike laid on the bed, his head facing the window. He was in and out of consciousness. Then, he saw Oskar. He was with Hanji in the corner looking at the machines. Their suits were off. It had been three days judging by the calendar. “Han…” Hanji turned around, “Mike, how do you feel?” Oskar smiled, “We think it’s a success.” Mike groaned, “Your suit.” 

She smiled, “Well, it’s showing that you’re exactly who we should be infected by.” He smiled a little, “Han, what’s the house like now?” Her chest hurt. _Full of Osker’s things._ She sat down next to him, “Same as always.” She stroked his hair but he noticed something, “That’s a nice ring.” She paused. It was only the band and not on her left hand, “Yeah, I treated myself. It goes on well under the gloves.” 

He kissed her hand, “I tried to keep mine on.” 

“Yeah, we took it off and placed it in a bag.” 

Oskar had held the ring between his fingers. He’d been struck by it. 

“He rarely took it off.” 

She’d cried. 

He had decided to offer her a divorce if she needed it. 

It had killed him and he cried alongside with her without telling her. 

Would she take it? 

His world was destroyed. 

****** 

Zev called Nikko, “How is the list coming?” Nikko pressed his hands over his eyes, “It’s coming.” Zev hummed, “My list is almost finished.” Nikko didn’t have time, “Call someone else if you want to talk. I’m busy, Zev.” He hung up and Zev frowned. He was lonely and the work was dark. He dialed another number. 

_ring….._

_ring…._

“Hello?” 

“Hey,” his voice was breathy, “Judah.” 

Judah’s face contorted, “Zev….” He looked around the room before locking the door, “What do you want?” Zev went to his bed and sat down on the edge, “To talk to you.” Judah bit his lip, “You should be speaking to my sister.” 

Zev laid back on the bed, “If I don’t speak to her….does that mean you’ll cut me off? Judah, are you telling me that we can’t have a relationship?” 

Judah scowled and glared at no one in particular, “We don’t _have_ a relationship!” Zev pouted and Judah could feel it, “Judah, baby-” 

“Don’t even finish that sentence.” 

“I love you.” 

“Shut up. When are you coming here?” 

“What are you wearing?” 

“I’m not your girlfriend, maggot. Tell me when you’re coming here.” 

“Send me a picture.” 

“Zev, what the fuck is wrong with you?” 

“Please?” 

“No!” 

“Pleeeeaaaseeee, Judah. You know I’m obsessed with you.” 

Judah’s face was hot and red from blushing. He had no idea how Zev was able to do that to him. He didn’t understand, “Which is why I want information before I give you anything.” 

Zev sighed, “Judah, you know those socks that Aviva had to wear with her costume when she danced with the court? The white ones that come over the knee with the ruffles?” Judah snorted and Zev worried he didn’t know what he was talking about, “They wear them with all the period pieces.” 

“I KNOW WHICH ONES!” 

“Put them on for me and take a picture. If you do it, I’ll tell you three things you wanna know.” 

Judah hummed, thinking. He really wasn’t into whatever this was, “Is this your kink?” Zev blushed, “NO! I need them for something.” Judah found them and put them on, “You have to answer my questions.” 

“You have to send the pictures first.” 

“Pictures? Plural?” 

“One for each question.” 

Judah took a few photos and they began. 

“When are you coming home?” 

“In a few months. I promise I’ll be there before your birthday.” 

“Why are you not speaking to her?” 

“Because I’m ashamed.” 

“What are you ashamed of?” 

“I lied to her.” 

“About what?” 

“That was three.” 

He hung up and Judah clutched the phone before sitting on his bed and moving his face into the comforter to absorb the tears and screams. 

******* 

Mila and Levi were holding their breath, “This is amazing.” Mike’s body was producing antibodies to help fight off the infection. They could use this to create a vaccine, “But, human trials….” Mila thought about it, “It’ll take almost a year to get things settled.” Levi knew all about that since he created the first vaccine, “I’ll call Zad and see what his pharmaceutical company can do.” 

Mila thought about it, “That boy Hannahlore dated in Japan also works in the field.” She started contacting her for more information when Levi laughed suddenly, “This is too good to last.” She smiled,”I know.” Levi spun around and brought her in for a hug, “I love you, my sweetness.” He kissed the top of her head. She hugged him, “How are we going to handle dad and mom and apu?” 

Levi held her tighter, “This is going to sound horrible but the only thing on my mind is getting you and your mother vaccinated.” She buried her face in his jacket, “I loved your mother, too. Just like your dad and apu. I’m not comfortable being the one who gives advice in this area. It will only do harm.” 

Mila sat back, “You and my mother?” Levi’s face was burning from embarrassment, “Yes.” Mila blinked, “Like….how long?” Levi stared, “Almost a year….physically together….when I came back from overseas.” Mila kept staring, “You had sex with my mother?” Levi pushed her away, clearing his throat, “Has Hannahlore wrote back?” 

“You slept with my mother?” 

‘Yes.” 

‘Oh HaShem….” 

“Please, let’s move on.” 

“No! I want stories and details!” 

The phone rang and it was Zad. Levi answered quickly, “Thank God, it’s fucking you…” 

* 

Nikko was with Mike in the room now. He looked upset from his phone call with Jacob, “Nikko?” He looked at Mike, “Yeah?” Mike’s breathing was even now and he was almost back to normal, “Who knows you have a child with Mila?” He stared pointedly, “Only you, two friends, and two doctors.” Mike smiled, “Good, don’t let anyone know until this ends. People are out looking.” 

Nikko looked panicked and Mike chuckled, “Oh God, I knew better. Parents can’t handle anxiety like that.” Nikko took his gloves off, “I only want a vaccine, a safer world, to go to temple, to take care of Mila, to watch Lylah grow up, and to be a good man.” Mike closed him eyes and turned his face away. Nikko was annoyed, “I’m not good enough for you but I’m good enough for her.” 

Mike’s eyes didn’t open until after he had left. He looked out the window and suddenly, his gut clenched and he saw him: Jabari. 

Mike sat up, out of breath and flushed red. Jabari was leaving, removing his name tag and coat. It was obviously not his real name. Another son of Uri, brother of Jeeter. He was here, had been here. That meant that he knew of Nikko and Mila. He knew of them and had access to- 

Mike pressed his button for the intercom, “I want Dr. Petit. Do not send me anyone else.” 

* 

Mila pressed against Nikko’s chest, nuzzling her head into it. He ran his fingers through her hair, “I got off the phone with 33 and he wants us to give them the vaccine.” Mila held him closer, “No.” Nikko ducked his head down and kissed her. They remained, lips locked for a long time. He pulled back, “Do you ever think that the Legion is exploiting us?” She nodded, “You know that. It’s not a thought.” 

He kissed her again, “Do you ever think they’re working with her? 

Mila’s phone buzzed and it was Zev. 

“Hello?” 

“Have you ever thought about how many of them there actually are?” 

Nikko frowned and Mila reached up to stroke his face, “I think there will be a smaller number than we think.” 

Zev sighed, “We’re smaller than them.” 

NIkko and Mila discussed with him more about their situation in the world. They never noticed the watchful eyes that were upon them. 

* 

Mike was running through the street, his gown open and flapping. The sound of his feat rhythmically hitting the stone walkway echoed along the way. 

_Thud, thud, thud, thud…._

_The sound of labored breathing before a sudden loud pop of hands on a door._

_Shuffling, a struggle._

_Yelling, a yelp, the sound of fists meeting bodies, shuffling, struggling, more yelling, metal, footsteps on stone, breathing, snorting, gasping, struggling, the sound of hands gripping something shaking it, metal tinging, a gunshot, yell, door slamming, baby crying, struggling, another gunshot, crying gets louder, yelling, the sound of a body slamming into wood, cracking of wood, slapping, punching, more slamming, wood splintering, another shot, the baby crying louder._

* 

Nikko and Mila were looking into the empty room. Hanji and Levi were keeping busy with Oskar. Nikko’s stress level was so high he was shaking. Mila pulled herself together, “Even if this means he’s never coming back we have what we need.” Nikko thought about Zev’s words to him. He turned to Mila, “I have to go.” 

* 

Nikko’s heels were hot coming up the stairs to Catherine and Jacob’s apartment. They door was open and Catherine was on the ground bleeding with Jacob over her bleeding as well. He had a black eye, bloody nose. She was losing too much blood, “They took Lylah, GO!” Jacob waved him away, “GO!” Nikko opened his phone and called the ambulance while running down the stairs. 

Where was he going? 

How would he find his daughter? 

What was happening? 

How would he get her?! 

Nikko’s lungs were burning as he entered the alley. 

How would he tell Mila? 

Blood was on the ground. He followed it and reached a door. His gun was out as he pressed inside. Down a hallway he could hear a baby screaming. He ran quickly, not caring if he was loud. He’d kill whoever had his daughter. 

Inside of an open room he saw her. She was in the arms of Mike with a man on the floor near him. Mike looked at him sternly, “I killed him but he dropped her.” Nikko took her quickly inspecting every inch of her. He kissed her, bathed her in kisses. “I love you. I love you so much. Your mother….oh HaShem your mother….I was so afraid….I love you.” 

Mike looked at him, “He was a doctor at the hospital. He’s a Reiss. Jabari is his name.” Nikko kissed her again, “He had access to Mila’s files.” It was out now. He had a daughter and that meant she was valuable to the Reiss family. “If they get her….they’ll kill her and drink her spinal fluid.” Mike’s words chilled him to the bone. He carried her with him to the hospital trying to figure out what to do with his daughter. 

He handed her to Clemence who looked shocked, “Dr. Franz tried to abduct my daughter. Please take her to the daycare we set up and stay with her.” Mike was following behind when Mila came to get him, “Catherine just left surgery but she’s sick. She’s really sick, Nikko. Something must have been in the ambulance from another patient.” Jacob was also in surgery. 

They decided to try and use the vaccine on her but they needed to make a prototype and that could take time. Mila was working but scared, “What if it kills her?” Nikko’s hands were shaking, “Why is our baby here?” He wouldn’t speak. He was afraid of his own reaction. 

“Mila?” 

“Nikko?” 

“You are my soul.” 

“You are my heart.” 

* 

Oskar held Lylah in his arms, “Who do you belong to, sweetheart?” Catherine and Jacob were in recovery but it didn’t look good, “Are those your parents?” He looked down at her and squinted, “You don’t really favor any of them but you do favor….” Clemence entered the room, “Dr. Dracul, do you have permission to hold that baby?” He smiled, “Noooooo but I mean, it’s a baby!” She took her from him, “Her parents wouldn’t feel that way.” 

He looked at the little girl, “Are they the couple that just arrived?” She didn’t know what to say so she said she wasn’t sure. He thought that was strange because she was a woman who knew everything. Mila entered, “Oh, um, can I see the baby?” Oskar looked to her and then the baby. 

Oskar passed her off to her and he grinned. His chuckle was nervous, “That baby looks like you.” She went into survival mode, “She belongs to my friends. The one’s who were shot.” He kept staring at the baby’s nose and then her eyes. “What’s her name?” Mila turned away from him and Clemence spoke, “Lylah.” 

Oskar still felt like something was off but Clemence pulled him away. Mila was thankful as she kissed her daughter, “I love you.” 

* 

Mike was sitting back on his bed with Hanji writing on her note pad. He watched everything she did like she was going to disappear. Nikko returned, eyes glassy and mouth tight. The unlicensed vaccine was ready and had been tested on Jacob and Catherine. They had been administered the serum as well. He knew the risks were too high but he’d never forgive himself if he didn’t try to save them. He had promised. 

Jacob had made him promise that if he came up with something he’d give it to Catherine. Both men had wanted their wives safe. They had fought to protect his child. 

“Mike, we’re going to run a few more tests on your blood but I’d like you to eat more and drink to keep your fluids up.” 

Hanji heard the quiver in Nikko’s voice and her heart clenched. He was working himself to death. 

There was a knock at the door. “We need you to check on patient J and C.” Nikko and Hanji rushed towards the door, “We’ll send in someone to finish.” Mike looked at the TV and covered himself in a blanket that Levi had brought him. He was still angry at him but the blanket made things slightly better. He closed his eyes when he heard someone enter. 

“Mr. Zacharius?” A young male nurse was there with a butterfly needle, “I’m just here to start taking blood but if you were sleeping I didn’t want to startle you.” He smiled and Mike nodded, “I’m fine.” He sat down and set to inserting the needle and covering it with tape. “So, how are you?” Mike sighed, “Tired.” The young man grinned, “I bet. I hear you’re a god send. So, where are you from?” 

“Maria in the US.” 

“Oh! That’s where Mila and Nikko are from! Dr. Zoe and her husband and, OH!, even Dr. Ackermann. Wow, Maria has everyone.” 

Mike turned his head, his breath leaving in a puff through his nose in a sudden exhale, “Wait, what?” The young nurse blinked, “What?” Mike squinted, “Dr. Zoe and who?” The nurse smiled, “Dr. Zoe and her husband, Dr. Dracul. She’s Dr. Zoe-Dracul but we just say Zoe when he’s also visiting so there isn’t any confusion. He isn’t originally from Maria, though. He’s Hungarian.” 

The nurse rolled away and took his gloves off, “Dr. Ackermann will be in here in about an hour but until then watch some TV and if there are any issues squeeze the button. I’ll be walking by about every ten minutes on my shift but I think you deserve some peace and quiet to sleep and probably think about all of the important things you’re doing.” He got up and left, shutting the door behind him. 

Mike felt like he’d died. 

Mike wanted to die. 

* 

Jacob’s eyes were bloodshot and his fever was still high, “Catherine.” Nikko hooked up his IV and nodded, “Is alive.” He grabbed his hand, “Are we going to die?” Nikko shook his head, “No, not if we can keep you hydrated and stable.” Jacob started to cough and laugh at the same time, “Nikko, that’s how living fucking works, man.” 

Nikko paused for a moment and Levi watched as his son’s shoulders lowered and he started to laugh, “Yes, I suppose it is.” Jacob patted him, “Nikko, make sure Catherine lives. You know I’d do the same.” Nikko cut him off, “I’ll do you one better. I’ll make sure you both live. I just celebrated your wedding and you’ll have children soon because of me.” Jacob sputtered before coughing violently. Levi watched Nikko intently. 

“He’s your friend.” They were in the hallway washing their hands. Nikko nodded, “Yes, my best friend here.” Levi looked down at the sink, “Does Zev know?” Nikko snorted, “Ha, yeah. But, you know, Zev is my best best friend.” Levi bumped into his son, “Well, what does that make Judah?” He sounded honestly contemplative. 

Nikko dried his hands, “His lover.” 

Levi and Nikko burst into laughter, “Yeah, right. Judah’s so straight it hurts.” Levi popped Nikko who rolled his eyes, “I believe I’m the straightest, then Judah. Ezra, well, he’s been asexual and boring until recently. Gisela is an equal opportunity player as I heard you were in your youth.” Levi tch’ed, “You say that like it’s a bad thing. You know, we were young and we were all living our lives before you brats came along.” 

“We were all planned!” 

“Yeah….except those Lavie kids. They’re total accidents.” 

Nikko and Levi laughed while leaving the bathroom. 

Mila was in the hallway, “Dad found out. He’s…..he’s really upset and mom is upset and Apu is upset.” Levi was pulling on his fingers nervously, “And you, sweetness?” Mila looked horrible, “I’m sad. I’m really sad.” Levi nodded, “Yeah?” She wiped her eyes, “And I’m mad.” 

Nikko wanted to hold his wife but she turned to him, “Please make sure he doesn’t leave.” He went to Mike’s room but he didn’t want to speak to him. “Mike, please.” He was on his side and facing the wall. Nikko sat down, his hands clenched into fists, “Mila told me she didn’t know when it was that she fell in love with me but it must have been around Christmas the first year she was gone and studying here.” 

“The thing is, I know what she’s talking about. She worked Christmas eve at the hospital in the Children’s Ward. I knew she was overwhelmed since most of the staff was gone or sick. Aba couldn’t work that night because Baba wanted him to be home for his birthday that year. I don’t really know why. So, then we get a call that the last staff member went home suddenly. Aba was so angry.” 

“Baba put me in the car and told me to not let my Aba in if he escaped. I was scared to be volunteering at 16 but Baba told me to just get her some food and be there if anything happened. I did that. I stopped by the Russian restaurant and got her candy and all kinds of food. When I got there, she was angry because she thought I was there because the family thought she couldn’t handle it. She ate and wouldn’t even speak to me.” 

“But, then things got really bad and she was drowning. I went with her everywhere but didn’t step in until she asked. We seamlessly went into action as children cried and got sick. It seemed like only a few minutes but before I knew it the sun was coming up. I loved working with her but I didn’t know if the feeling was mutual. She eventually sat with me waiting for the shift to end and fell asleep with her head on my shoulder.” 

Nikko smiled, “I was the luckiest man in the world.” He exhaled, “I can’t imagine the pain that you are feeling. I won’t pretend that I can. I only know how horrible it would feel to not have Mila in that way after knowing her like that. I know that the idea of another man raising Lylah is unthinkable to me. I know these things are only magnified by time and you have that on me. You have had more time pass than I.” 

Mike rolled over, “They came to the house and injected me with something. I forgot about it because they drugged me. Then, the voices in my head and veins became louder and louder and they started wanting access to Hanji’s work and her contacts. She...was stressed from miscarriages and wanted another baby so badly it was all we ever talked about. I found out that whatever they injected me with was causing the miscarriages but the doctors said it must be her.” 

“How could I tell my wife I was why she couldn’t have a baby and how could I tell her there was something inside of me? Well, I bet you think I could have and should have but they had that covered. Mila was their leverage and Nikko and Zev and Keita….all of the children were under their watchful gaze. I wanted her out of the lab and away from everything going on but I couldn’t commit to a plan, ever. I just felt stuck.” 

“I wanted to move and she couldn’t commit. We fought about it all the time.” 

Mike took another deep breath, “And then your father….” he exhaled, “fucking pissed her off so bad that she wanted to get as far away from him as possible. I had my thoughts about it but never asked her. I didn’t know why or how or what about but she wanted to leave and that was good news for me. We moved and it was wonderful.” 

“My dad, he came to me and told me all this shit about water filters and how we had to protect the future. I’d never heard him talk like that and then he mentioned Erwin’s dad over and over again. He’s not his dad but….it doesn’t matter.” Nikko didn’t know what to say. He’d always been told that Gabriel was Erwin’s father and Zad was his brother but more of a father figure to him. 

Mike continued, “I didn’t know what to do other than be ready to build more in the future. So, I just learned and put it out of my mind. It was so nice living on the farm with just Hanji and Mila. I will never forget waking up to her everyday, messy hair, oversized Tshirt she stole from me, and hot meals. She spoiled me rotten and those Šaltnosiuka and Šakotis! I was in heaven.” 

“She said she was happy but I think she was empty.” Mike looked up at the ceiling for a while in silence, “So, when they called I guess it was a relief. I was to hand over my wife and daughter to them. But, like hell my daughter was gunna end up like those other kids. I called mom and dad, put Hanji and Mila on a plane telling them it was a surprise and that I had to follow them the day after due to the cows. She believed me and I used to think it was because I was just that good.” 

“But, I wasn’t. She was just that desperate to see Levi and Erwin and Armin and Eren and Sasha and Connie…..Mikasa and David….our lives were there. Our hearts were there. I called Levi when they were almost there and then I ran. I went to Canada with mom and dad. We hid from them but they found us. Mom and dad were killed after days of torture but me, no. They left me alive and thought that they would eventually wear me down enough till I spilled the beans about the water filters and everything else.” 

“It was horrible. I was made into a soldier and swapped from organization to organization. They made me a child currier. I was to steal children from the tribes and bring them wherever they were needed. My own daughter would have been treated like that. She would have been a tool. The sickness took hold and I lost years of time. It takes over and they used to try in these times to get me to tell them all of my secrets but I thought of how disappointed Hanji would be in me.” 

“I could never hurt the woman I loved like that.” 

Nikko felt wetness on the back of his hand after he wiped his eyes. Mike was crying, too. It was so sad. Mike was such a broken man and Nikko was trying to not bombard him with questions. His sobs were eventually calmed, “I thought about dying and how that would be best for everyone. It’s just that….I can’t die till I teach someone how to make the filters, the ones that you’re gunna need in the end.” 

Nikko looked over at him, eyes red and puffy, “The end?” 

Mike turned his head to the side, his voice heavy, “Yeah, the end.” 

* 

Mila ran the water in bathroom while Lylah was swaddled and waiting for her bath. Hanji was busy, Oskar was sleeping, Levi was researching, and Nikko was? 

_Where is Nikko?_

She heard the door open and felt him enter. 

He rested his head on the nape of her neck, his lips pressed against her bare skin. She sighed, “Let’s bathe our little girl and find a place to go to sleep.” He hummed, “Can I also make love to her mother because I’m feeling very emotional.” She snorted softly, “We’ll see but probably not.” 

Lylah smiled as the warm water washed over her. Mila kissed her fingers as Nikko kissed her toes. He wanted to hold her after and have “tummy time.” Mila took a shower herself and then Nikko. They decided to head to his office and bring a crib from the hospital neonatal ward right down the hall. Nikko’s office had a chair with a pullout cot in it. Dr. Petit had it put in after the curfews and had woke Nikko many a morning with coffee and bread from his own rations. 

They changed into scrubs and laid down. Nikko kissed Mila’s neck and shoulders slowly. She hummed, “What has upset you so much?” He ran his hands over her body, “What hasn’t? Maybe, just maybe, I’m thankful for you and all that you are to me. I love you. I love you and we’re physical people.” She smirked a little and reached over to take his face between her hands, “I guess you won me over with that. I’d rather feel you than anything else right now.” 

They kissed with feeling. 

* 

“Catherine? Catherine!” Jacob tried to move from his bed but she woke up and made a noise of discontent, “Mmm Jacob.” Levi walked over to check them, “You both healed from the surgeries and have been given experimental vaccines to combat the illness. I’m Dr. Ackermann and-” 

“Nikko?!” Both said it at the same time and Levi blinked, “I’m his father.” 

They looked at him intently, blinking their grogginess away. 

Catherine thought he was handsome. 

Jacob was a little shocked, “Really? My God, what are you? Like, are you 35? Are you telling me Nikko is going to be forever young. I’m pissed.” Catherine groaned, “Stop being you and act better.” Jacob rolled his eyes, “Oy, I gotta act better after being shot.” Levi snorted, “Listen to your wife. They know better.” Levi checked their vitals, “Your daughter is healthy and fine. Mila and Nikko are watching her. I haven’t seen her but I hear she’s beautiful. Mazel Tov.” 

Catherine thanked HaShem that her husband didn’t say anything stupid about that, “She’s okay?!” He sounded concerned and they both really were. Levi smiled, ‘Yeah, not a scratch from what I heard.” 

Levi thought Jacob was still on the edge of relapse but Catherine was interesting, “Catherine, you’re Jewish?” She cleared her throat, “Yes, he’s not. I don’t need a lecture.” Levi laughed shortly, “Sorry, I never understood fully what our parents must have felt until I became one. My son, Ezra, is married to a goy and they’re fighting over how to raise their child. I cleared that up with my husband on our first holiday.” He smiled thinking of Eren and that tragic Thanksgiving. 

“Lylah is a beautiful name. How did you choose it?” Catherine looked at Jacob, “She was born in the night.” Levi drew blood from her as they talked. 

* 

Nikko pressed against Mila as he woke up. She yawned but didn’t move. Lylah was in her crib, awake but not fussy. Eventually, Mila got her and brought her into their bed. Nikko kissed Mila while he caressed his daughter’s fingers and face. “You are the most beautiful woman in the world and the other half of my soul.” She sat up, “Zadkiel said he could produce the vaccine if we get it to him.” 

Nikko frowned, “I don’t wanna talk about work right now.” Lylah made a small noise and he looked down at her, “See? Our motek doesn’t want us to either.” Nikko placed her on his chest. Mila’s heart soared to see them, “It’s just that I’m afraid people are going to come for my father.” Nikko had thought about that, too. “I’d say we cross that bridge when we come to it, my love.” 

She bit her lip, “They want it. They want us to give them the vaccine before we release anything to the people.” Nikko’s eyes narrowed, ‘They called you?” She nodded. He started to think about things, “We won’t give it to them.” She looked confused, “What? Why?” He remembered a conversation with Jacob, “Because they still haven’t taken Penen down.” 

He handed Lylah back to Mila and kissed her forehead, “You and Lylah are my life.” Mila rolled her eyes, “You’re so sensitive.” He kissed her, “All I want is to go away with you and her somewhere safe.” 

Nikko left wearing his scrubs and went straight to Jacob to speak. 

* 

“What do you mean they won’t have her removed!?” Nikko was fuming as he tried to feed Jacob. Jacob was still coughing and feverish. “If you and Catherine make a full recovery, which we think you will, then we’re going to have to make this vaccine for everyone. It’s going to take a year or more. That’s how it was the first time. I can’t understand how they think keeping her in power is practical.” 

Nikko finished feeding Jacob before heading to meet with his upper officer. 

* 

He was tall, blond, and had blue green eyes with a scar along his jaw and petite cherub lips. He was in his late 30s and very handsome. “I’ll level with you Nikko.” His voice was melodic and soothing, “It isn’t something we’ve never thought of, another mass plague. In fact, we were astounded no other country outside of the four we know of have made plans for recurring plagues.” Nikko moved closer. The US, Israel, Japan, and South Korea all had plans of some sort for another plague. Japan had built an entire industry around it, too. A few South American countries were trying but it wasn’t going to be any time soon for them to get something up and running. 

“Nikko, we want France to be secured and to be in a position of power for the coming future. It’s simple and it makes sense to want your country on top. The Germans could have had this if they’d just been smarter. Instead, they’ve started to let their own guilt over the past and other things interfere with their choices.” 

Nikko didn’t like any of this, “It’s just that now, France wants a bigger seat in the EU. France wants to be a leader again. Germany’s time is over. How many wars have to happen for them to finally go back into submission?” 

Nikko’s eyes narrowed, “So, you want Penen because she strong and anti-German and you’re doing this because of some ridiculous pissing match that’s been going on between two countries and has nothing to do with the people living in them innocently? You want the vaccine because you want to have control over who gets it.” 

The man tilted his head to the side, “Is that not what your own father did? He gave it to Israel and then Korea and Japan because of his connections there. He felt bad for them and he has allegiance to them. He didn’t share with the world until later and we all know Israel benefitted the most and with better products.” 

Nikko was fuming, “Actually, that’s all a lie. Those are the countries that listened to him and took the vaccine on good faith. Israel did everything they could to ensure that their people had the best chance of survival and so did South Korea and Japan. The US only got a plan going because the Reiss Pharmaceutical company took it over and that’s the version you were all given. My father didn’t fuck you over, the Reiss family did!” 

The man sighed, “We’ve given you everything you’ve asked for and now we need you to give us this. If you hand us a vaccine, you can go. Mila can go with you. We’ll call it retirement and stop watching your cousins in Israel so closely or your Polish one. We won’t remove her because we can use the information you gave us to blackmail her. She’s out muzzled dog, now.” 

It was then that he realized something, “You knew what she was doing the whole time. You didn’t want it reported to Germany because you were using them as a backup news headline. If anyone found out then it’d look like Germany was behind it all.” 

Nikko never thought he’d feel bad for Germany. 

However, with the Russians breathing down their necks in the east this would have been a possible reason for war if they believed the Germans were causing the infections for biological warfare. Things always got taken out of context and twisted these days. Nikko had to think quickly. 

“You need a vaccine and then we can retire?” 

The man smiled, “Yes, but we know that’ll take some time and we were actually thinking about maybe bringing in a few Reiss members that are not fans of their infamous family. In fact, we’ve been looking at a match for you.” Nikko recoiled, “I will not work with a Reiss member.” The man raised an eyebrow, “You’ll do what we need you to do.” 

Nikko wanted to leave. 

“We all know you and your child are valuable and we’ll protect you as such.” 

Nikko heard the threat and he also knew that this had gone far enough. 

* 

* 

* 

Mila held the phone in her hand. She didn’t want to do it but she had to do it. She dialed the number and looked at the mirror at her face with all of it’s dark circles, “Hello?” She let out a nervous exhale and smiled a little as the voice comforted her. She arranged everything and hung up. Nikko would understand. She had to follow her gut. 

Catherine wiped Jacob’s forehead clean of sweat, “You’re a stupid man.” He smirked, “You never told me that you had a gun.” She smirked back, “I like to keep things interesting.” He took her hand and kissed it, “Let’s have a super baby.” She giggled, “A super baby?” He grinned, “Yeah, after all these injections by Nikko we’ve probably got super powers so…” She kissed him, “I love you but you’re ridiculous.” 

They were being released today. Hanji and Oskar gave them a clean bill of health even though Jacob was still fighting a cold. Hanji and Levi didn’t want them to go too far and Levi was still wanting to see their baby. He wouldn’t, though. 

Nikko met them at the back of the hospital and ushered them into a car, “Because you two are now the only successfully treated patients in the world we need you to go into hiding. Jacob, I’m sorry but this means you’re dead to the Legion and I need you to stay that way.” It was a very tense car ride with a heated arguement. 

When they arrived at the border of Italy six hours later they were resigned to their role in it all. Catherine was easily won over after she realized that it wouldn’t be forever. Jacob was less so but he relented. They got out of the car and noted the gorgeous town cars waiting for them. They were sleek and black. Nikko saw Mila, her face streaked with tears, “I need you to trust me.” He saw Mila hand Lylah over to Catherine. He started to cry. 

“Mila? Do we have to?” 

She nodded her head, “Catherine and Jacob are our closest friends. But, that’s not all.” A man stepped forward. It was Mike. “He’s going with them. He’ll spend lots of one on one time with his granddaughter and he’ll be safe for when it’s over.” 

Nikko gawked, “H-how did you get him out?” She smiled a little, “I have my ways.” Everyone kissed, hugged, and cried till it was time to say goodbye. One of the members of Marco’s family stepped forward, “We’ll take care of her like she is our own because she is our own.” 

Mila handed them a bag, “Here are the vaccines and instructions.” 

Nikko took her hand and they kissed their baby one more time. 

* 

“Where is he!?” Hanji was inconsolable as Levi and Oskar searched for him throughout the hospital. When Nikko and Mila returned they all had long and tense talks about the implications. Now that Catherine and Jacob were missing, all they had were their samples and those samples had to get to America quickly. Mila and Nikko played along while their parents agreed that Mike never existed and nor did the other family. It was just best for everyone. 

* 

“What are you going to give them?” They were packing for Gisela’s wedding and the Legion was putting pressure on them daily. Nikko turned to Mila, “It’s just a booster to the original vaccine my father made. It’s almost unrecognizable.” She took a deep breath, “I’m impressed.” He smiled, “I live to impress you.” 

She finished packing her things and held up the envelope, “Can we open it?” He sat down with her. They had been away from their daughter over a month. It had been torture. Catherine sent them real photos of her and Mike and the others on polaroids in sealed envelopes. It was the only way. Cell Phones were not allowed. Nothing could be traced to their location. 

She started to open them but he stopped her, “Let’s do it on the plane, Blimela.” She kissed him violently while pushing him back on the bed. “Fuck me now. I don’t want to think about anything.” Her voice was desperate, her hands pleading as they pulled at his clothes, “Please?” He took the back of her head in his hand, “Of course, but then we really must go.” 

* 

Zev chose Gisela. He chose someone and that meant that Nikko didn’t have to wait any longer. He could do everything he’d planned on doing. Zev called him as Mila and he drove to the airport, “What are you doing, achki?” Nikko’s body was shaking, “I’m going to purge those I can, reunit my family, and stop working for someone else.” Mila called her contacts abroad to begin the releases. 

She’d left USBs in the hands of very capable people in order to expose Madame Penen for who she was. They had worked with Germany to take the focus off of their transport centers. They had names, lists, data, and more that they took before they returned to the states. 

They were retired and thus, not even a thought. 

The shipping company's stock bottomed out when they landed. 

When they finally arrived in Paris, Nikko made quick work of those that knew them. This was purge and they needed to expunge themselves well from the area. He made it down his list saving the blond man for last. 

Turns out, they were in need of Nikko’s service. 

Many of them, including the Man, had been let go from the Legion by the newly high ranking Reiss members. Nikko began to understand that like a parasite, they had taken over their host and killed off the parts they did not need. The Man begged Nikko to help him but there was no mercy. If Nikko was going to commit himself to finally seeing the end of this thing then he’d need to cut out the cancer that plagued him. 

* 

Mila drove them to the checkpoint, “In the book our parents had a very serious relationship.” Nikko was numb and anxious at the same time, “I can’t blame him. You’re a lot like your mother and I’m a lot like my father. Obviously, there is something there that’s fated…..Apparently, our entire lives are fated.” The books were making waves amongst the children and all were handling it in different ways. 

Zev called, Nikko answered, “Hello?” 

“So, you’re retired and I know you’ve had a mental breakdown. Buuuuut, It’d be cool if you’d come back so we can plan our next attack.” Nikko frowned and Zev continued, “Woah, I can feel your frown. Man, listen, I just need to know you’re okay and Mila is okay. We have the list here, is it finished?” Nikko said it was and they talked a little longer. 

When he hung up Mila took his hand, “I understand that you think that everything is going to change.” He looked at her sadly, “It will.” She shook her head, “It won’t. Because, this is necessary. Life feeds on life. We will eradicate them and the world will be born anew.” 

* 

Mila wept holding her child in her arms. Catherine and Jacob were also crying as Mike hugged Nikko. He looked healthier and happier, “Has it ended?” Nikko shook his head no, “We’re now in the final stages. World War Three has begun, we’re now working on bringing the Reiss into specific locations for extermination, and we’ve just been given books from our parents explaining their lives. It’s been intense. We’re here to take Lylah back, along with Catherine and Jacob. They’ll be starting new lives in our ghetto but they’ll be safe till it’s all over.” 

“I need them to be with Mila for research. I need Lylah to be with us or we’ll go crazy. But, Mike….I can’t bring you with us until it’s time to build the new filters. If we lose you then we’ll never finish what has to be done. We considered leaving Lylah with you but being away from her is crushing us. If the threat becomes too high, we will return her to your care.” 

Mike didn’t take the news well but he tried not to make a scene. He’d loved spending this time with his granddaughter. Mila and Lylah went to spend time with him while the others packed. When they left, he waved goodbye and lit a cigaret before walking off into the orchards. 

* 

“Judah, just, fucking, do, this, for, me.” 

“I’m tired.” 

“Judah, I’ll fucking put saline in your water.” 

“I run on beer and the tears of my enemies.” 

“They’re like family.” 

Judah sighed, “It’s not like I have a choice. Zev is listening and he’s already excited.” 

Nikko exhaled, “Good, we’ll be home in two weeks. Just have Aba arrange something for them or do what we do for Maxim and Ilya’s people.” Judah snorted, “Wait, two weeks? Where are you going Nikko?” He sounded concerned, “I’m worried about you and Mila getting hurt.” Zev let out an _aw_ that elicited punches from Judah. Nikko looked at a smiling Mila with Lylah, “We’re going on a vacation.” 

* 

Lylah cooed and moved her hands as Nikko leaned over her. They were on an island, alone, with all they needed. They were spending time together as a family while thinking about the future. Nikko wasn’t the chosen one and he was so thankful for that. “Daddy should show mommy some love.” Mila smiled as she drank her fruity drink in her wooden beach chair. 

Nikko picked his daughter up under the shady pavilion, “What says you, motek? Should daddy show some love to mommy?” Lylah tried to lift her head and he snorted, “You’re an overachiever.” 

They ate while enjoying the sunshine and peace. 

Mila put Lylah down for her nap only to return and drag Nikko to the pool. She kissed him, wrapped her legs around his waist while they floated in the water. Her hands moved over his body. He loved how she tasted like pineapple and coconut. 

He brought them out of the water, laid her down on the couch under the pavilion. He pulled her bottoms off when she leaned up and kissed him. He pushed inside of her with a gasp while holding her hip and leg up. He loved her so much that every second with her was paradise. She moved into his lap, kissing each and every inch of him she could. 

Mila and Nikko made love often while Lylah grew even more spoiled by the people in her life. 

When their two weeks were almost up, Mila turned to Nikko, “I’ll stay in Maria, make a home, take care of Lylah, and I’ll work on a vaccine while trying to figure out what should go inside of the filter. Honestly, it’s just best that you go with your siblings and make sure the world doesn’t explode because Zev decided to pull a prank.” Nikko frowned, “I don’t want to go home.” 

Mila laughed, “It’ll be okay. Well, I don’t know that for sure but...we have to decide whether or not we’ll tell the family or not about Lylah.” Nikko looked at Lylah as she moved on her blanket, “If my aba takes one look at her he’ll know.” 

That was something they’d both thought of. Mila took a deep breath, “Ezra and Cesare are having a baby. We have one and Aviva is having one.” Nikko raised an eyebrow, “I want to know who the father is. I think it’s not fair he gets a girl pregnant and he just leaves. That’s not respectable. She has to make all the choices and he doesn’t pay for anything or even give emotional support.” 

Mila snorted, “Goodness, Lylah is going to have such a traditional yet progressive father.” Nikko was reminded of something, ‘You know, Judah was talking to me about family dues for the synagogue and he said that we could get a discount just because we’re literally a quarter of their congregants.” She laughed, “WHAT? Why is Judah looking at any dues other than the singles?” Nikko shrugged, “Who knows? It’s Judah.” 

Mila thought about it, “I think we should tell. It’s the only way to make sure that she’s taken care of and protected.” Mila looked sad, “Mom and Apu would probably enjoy knowing her.” Nikko looked down at her hands as they nervously pulled at her fingers, “Apu has hired an investigator to look for dad and he offered mom a divorce if they find him.” 

Nikko reached over to take her hand, “Mila, don’t worry. I will handle it.” She looked up at him, “I believe you.” 

* 

Erwin looked like a homeless man, “Old man, you look like utter shit.” Judah walked in, hung over and thirsty. Erwin looked at him from the couch. He was shirtless, unshaven, and off. Judah stared at him, “Old man, what’s up?” Erwin turned his attention back to the TV and said nothing. Judah was more than suspicious. He looked around and found one of his special bags. 

“Daddy…..are you….are you _high?!_ ” 

Erwin didn’t move his head from the TV but instead merely shifted his eyes to look at Judah. He then turned his gaze back to TV. Judah was still gawking, “THESE ARE MY DRUGS!” Erwin let out a breath he’d been holding, “Sit down and don’t tell. I’ve still got some.” Judah stared, “Why are you so shitty looking?” Erwin looked annoyed, “Because the world is insane.” 

“And that’s why you look like shit?” 

“I am in mourning. Your Vati is ignoring me.” 

“Well…..that’s good enough for me. The love of Vati is all we have.” 

He sat down with him and they got high together watching _How It’s Made_. Judah leaned over and rested his head on Erwin’s shoulder and chest. Erwin covered them with a blanket and all was well for a long while. 

The door opened and they assumed it was Levi or Eren coming back from work. Instead, it was Nikko and Mila. Judah looked at them, “Is that a baby?” Mila nodded, “We have a lot of news….where are Levi and Eren and Armin? Why do you look so bad, Erwin?” Erwin cleared his throat but didn’t speak. Judah snorted, “We’re fucking lit.” 

Nikko smiled, “Well, Judah, I guess you’re the first I’m going to tell but….this is your niece.” Judah paused, “No….no man, I’m high and getting higher….you can’t do that to me.” Nikko motioned for him to come towards them. Judah’s legs were shaking as he walked over and saw the tiny baby in Mila’s hands. There was no denying those green eyes and that chestnut colored hair. Her nose was all Ackermann and her lips were shaped just like Mila’s and even full like Gisela’s. 

Mila handed her to Judah, “This is Lylah Bracha Ackermann.” Judah couldn’t believe it, “D-daddy, look!” Erwin put a blanket on his head. When Judah removed it he was crying, “This is too much!” Judah laughed and started crying, too, “But loooook at her! She’s so pretty!” 

They admired her till the others arrived. Levi was told to sit with Eren and Armin joined them. Mila and Nikko told them that they were married and hadn’t know she was pregnant. They kept her a secret because of safety reasons and that’s also why Catherine and Jacob had gone along with it. 

Levi could not contain his joy, shamelessly dancing around the house. Eren was ecstatic to see his granddaughter but Judah wouldn’t relinquish her. Everyone was called to the house and waited to see Hanji and Oskar’s reaction. They were just as excited but extremely shocked. 

Hanji made sure to pop Mila and Nikko, “YOU LITTLE LIARS!” 

Life wasn’t going to be easy, nor would it be normal but they were both happy to at least be moving on towards something and not stand around wallowing in their sorrowful situations. 

Zev held Lylah while hugging Nikko, “I am so happy for you, brother.” 

Nikko knew he was, “I am ready to do whatever it takes to keep her safe.”


	181. Two Weddings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serious Chapter to come but here is some fluff.

Judah sat down at the table with a thud. Zev was smiling happily, ear to ear, while Gisela fixed his hair and groomed him in general. Aviva was holding Gaia in her lap with toys on the table in front of her. They were waiting for their wedding planners. 

Armin and Marco appeared with books and swatches and all sorts of things. Armin’s smile meant utter destruction, “Okay, what are your theme ideas?” Zev was so loud it nearly made Gaia jump out of her mother’s arms, “AWESOMENESS! THAT’S OUR THEME!” Gisela blinked, “Yes,” she said slowly, “I suppose that is the essence of what we would like to achieve. I was thinking a lot of drama, black, marble, gold, very similar to your Gatsby theme but really just dramatic af.” 

Zev was buzzing with energy, “Drama basically means awesome. I want my groomsmen to wear blah blah blah blah…” Judah honestly had no idea what the fuck Zev was talking about; he just **Kept. Going.** Eventually, Marco turned to Judah and smiled, “Judah, what are thinking about for your wedding?” 

Judah blinked, uncomfortable with their stares. He recoiled, “I have no thoughts.” Marco’s face fell for a second, “Well, when you imagine that day, what do you see?” He blinked again, “I get married to her.” He pointed to Aviva who was bouncing Gaia. He looked at Marco again, “I honestly have no idea what I’m supposed to do other than show up.” Armin was making notes, “But, what would you like to do? What would you like your groomsmen to do or have or where would you like to get ready or what do you want to drink? Things like that.” 

Judah started to sweat, “I dunno.” Zev reached over and pinched him lightly, “Come on, Jude. Haven’t you ever dreamed of getting married?” Judah looked to his sister for help. She stepped in, “No. He hasn’t. Can we leave him alone? It isn’t helping and he just wants Aviva to have everything she wants. That’s his focus: her. He’s marrying her and all he wants to do is show up and say “I do.”” 

Aviva kissed the top of Gaia’s head to hide her small smile. Marco and Armin turned to Aviva, “And what do you want?” Aviva perked up, “PINK.” Judah groaned and Zev cackled. “I think we should do a Beauty and the Beast kind of theme.” She looked at Judah with a wicked glint in her eye. Judah noted it, “I do have one request.” 

Armin was happy, “Yes?!” 

Judah looked at him, “I want this to happen in a month. Four weeks.” Armin and Marco looked like they had a small stroke, “I also want Zev to be my best man.” Zev nearly jumped on Judah from glee, “Judah, my sweet sinful demon.” Marco tapped his pen on the table, “I’m sorry, Judah. A month is just insanity. You both want separate weddings and that’s just too much.” 

Gisela looked at Aviva, “Does it have to be separate?” Judah frowned, “I think it should be.” Gisela shrugged, “What if it’s a two day thing?” Aviva shifted, “I really want us to be in each other’s weddings but whoever goes first is kind of going to steal the thunder of the other.” 

Judah didn’t like the thought of Aviva’s thunder being stolen, “I just don’t know what kind of compromise we could reach. I think that us being married together at the Bimah is distracting as well. Must we always do things together?” Gisela and Aviva were taken aback by that but not as much as Marco and Armin. They were eating this soap opera up before them. 

Aviva looked at Judah, “What?” Judah reached for Gaia and she handed her to him. She leaned over and whispered harshly, “Why are you being so weird?” Judah looked burned as usual when she spoke to him, “You deserve your own day.” Gisela was listening in as Aviva realized what he was doing. 

Zev sat back, “Listen, I like the idea of us all having one wedding. Because, honestly, you’re right. If one of us goes before the other then we’ll have issues because it won’t be that special. Also, I like the idea of standing up and seeing my sister and my fiancee in their pretty dresses walking down the aisle together.” 

Gisela and Aviva smiled, “I’m good with that. I’m excited to plan a wedding with my best friend.” Aviva smiled, too, “As long as I get some pink I don’t care.” 

*************** 

Armin put down an invoice, “Sign here.” Zev signed without looking but Judah wasn’t that stupid. He took the invoice and looked at it before standing up from his chair nearly screaming, “HOLY SHIT! FLOWERS! THIS IS THE COST FOR FLOWERS! THEY WILL DIE!” Armin gave him a placating smile, “Judah, my sweet little lion, this is two weddings worth of flowers in one. Honestly, we got a great discount. Just sign and-” 

Judah was livid, “I AM NOT PAYING 50,000 FOR FLOWERS!” 

Armin’s glare was legendary, “SIGN RIGHT NOW AND MAKE DREAMS COME TRUE!” 

Judah sputtered. He hated when Armin was stern with him. He signed the paper and Armin left. When he had, he turned to Zev, “Do you just blindly sign those things?” Zev gave him a look, his hands smoothing up and down his stomach, “Listen, if Gigi picked it out I’m going to pay for it. Plain and simple. Stop acting like you’d not have paid it. Aviva picked those flowers out, too. Now, why don’t we watch some shit and drink?” 

Judah stared, “No, I have to go to the house and check up on it.” Zev stood up, “I wanna go.” Judah scowled but didn’t say anything. He felt Zev’s hands on his hips pulling him closer as they stopped for him to open the door. He didn’t know how he felt about his fingers moving so close to his crotch. Zev had been doing all kinds of strange things since he returned to Maria from Israel. This included before he and Gigi were back together. 

Now, he’d just have to pull his hands off of him and deal with him on a construction site. 

*** 

“This is going to be the most beautiful house in the world!” Zev was running through the hallways looking at the ballet studio, music and recording room, and master bedrooms. “I can’t wait to live with you.” Zev gave him a look that made Judah pause. Zev was really acting strange lately. He wanted to cuddle with him more often than normal, he touched him a lot, he got him coffee in the mornings, and he was always helping at the club. 

Judah contemplated this while he watched him chase a butterfly around trying to instagram it. 

He even got him gifts. It was always some new package handed to him in the evenings when he was doing his books. 

Judah felt like he should ask someone more sensible in these matters. He didn't want to assume the wrong things and make it awkward between them. They were going to live together and he knew one day his beloved sister would carry his child. That was a very uncomfortable thought. 

Gisela pregnant. 

Judah shook it off and they sat down to look at finishes for the home. Judah wanted the weddings to happen, honeymoons, and then when they returned he wanted them to return to their new home. Zev pointed out a special room, “What is this?” Judah rolled his eyes, “A candy room. What does it look like?” 

Zev shrugged, “So it can be anything?” Judah nodded, “Yeah, I think it should be a sex dungeon.” Zev grinned, “Will there be cages?” Judah raised an eyebrow, “There can be?” That was also odd. Judah always assumed he was a vanilla guy like Yoni was. Maybe he wasn't? “You can look at the options and order whatever. We're bleeding money.” 

Zev opened the books on the counter, “Damn, you have really laid everything out for us all. Shit, Gigi is gunna love this and that ooooh and this over here. Can I pick these?” Judah nodded, mumbling, ‘They’re for us to pick out.” Zev put his arm around Judah’s shoulders, “Can you believe in one week we’re going to get married?” Zev looked lost in a fantasy as Judah’s neck started to itch and his pits became sweaty. 

Judah didn’t respond so Zev filled the space with endless noise. 

He eventually shut up long enough for Judah to settle with the contractors on a finish date and move in date. Judah closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose, “Judah, you seem really tired.” Zev’s eyes were kind. He didn’t want to scare off his skittish little grumpy kitten, “Would you like to go home and get something to eat?” Judah didn’t mind the sound of that, “Sure. Whatever.” 

Zev drove them across the road back to their home. In the kitchen, there was a note: 

_Fucker and the best brother in the world,_

_There is food in the fridge with your names on it. Follow the heating directions and don’t be stupid. We all know I’m talking about you, Zev. No flambeau torches. As for ugly fucker, you take the plastic OFF before you put it in the oven.”_

_Love, your future wives._

Zev ripped the fridge open and saw five trays of food, “THIS HAS MY NAME ON IT!” He pulled out the first, the second, and the third before Judah noticed his name was on none of them. “Noooo, Jude, look! The fourth is a shared one and the fifth is yours!” Judah deadpanned, “Joy.” 

It stung a little, “Why do you get three to yourself?” Zev took the covers off, “Fuck yes, chicken spaghetti casserole, potatoes au gratin, AND BANANA PUDDING! GIGI HATES BANANAS!” He opened the fourth and found israeli salad. “Shit, yessssss so light and so refreshing.” Judah opened his and saw an entire casserole dish of five cheese ziti pasta. He nearly knocked Zev down slamming it in the oven, “Get you own fucking oven.” 

There was a card with instruction. Aviva had drawn tiny bats on the corners. Zev was currently looking at something on his own card, “Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Have you seen this?!” He handed him a note by both girls. Judah was equally upset, “They want the week before the wedding to be separate? Does that mean I can’t be with even my sister? I’m stuck with _you!?_ ” Zev looked wounded and Judah felt a tinge of regret for saying it like that. 

Eren was coming downstairs, “It smells great in here.” He had a dog leash in his hand. Judah looked confused, “Baba, what are you doing?” Eren looked at Zev and then at Judah, “I’m going to Petco to get some stuff for Blitzen. Your aba is really tired.” Judah accepted that, “But why do you have a leash?” Eren hummed, “I’m obviously trying to make a dog outfit based on your aba’s prefered leash.” 

Zev grabbed Judah and lifted him off the floor, “Why are you so mean to your baba? Let him be and help me change their minds!” Eren snorted, “I take it they told you they wanted a week where they were separate? I did that to aba and he hated every second of it. He went to live with Hanji but I suppose you two can live in the tiny house, with Cesare and Ezra….damn, you can live with a lot of people.” Judah was not excited about it at all. 

He told his baba bye and went back to cooking his pasta. When it was done, he pulled it out, stuck a fork in it and moaned. Zev was watching him as he stepped back, throwing the towel down, and dug back in, “Oh, fuck me.” He took another bite and looked over to see Zev smirking, leaned forward on the counter top with his head to the side. He seemed flirty and seductive almost, “Well…” He grinned and it was pretty dashing. Judah looked away, speaking with a full mouth, “Well what? Why do you look so weird right now?” 

Zev’s face fell, “Nothing.” 

Judah thought that was weird. 

Zev’s food was finished and he made himself a few plates before suggesting they go downstairs. Judah picked his entire dish up. Zev looked surprised, “Um, aren’t you going to get a plate or bowl?” Judah shook his head with a face of utter repulsion, “Fuck, no. This is the only plate size that will do.” Zev cackled as they went downstairs to watch movies. 

*** 

Zev finished his food, sticking his fork over into Judah’s pasta. Judah slapped his hand, the fork falling to the floor, “Fuck off, this is mine.” Zev pouted, “But, I really want to try some.” Judah pulled the dish further away, “No.” Zev moved closer, almost on top of Judah, “Come on, just a little.” Judah’s head was turned so he didn’t have to look him in the eye. He stewed stubbornly. 

“Judah, pleaseeee.” 

“Fine.” 

He waited for Zev to take some but he didn’t. 

“Shit head, go ahead and get some and get the fuck off of me.” 

Zev ducked his head shyly, “My fork is in the floor. Couldn’t you just feed me a little?” Judah’s head whipped back to look him in the eye, “What?! _Feed you?!_ ” Zev looked him in the eye, “Yeah, pretty please?” Judah didn’t understand why Zev had to look at him like that. He also didn’t understand why he felt a need to please Zev by indulging him. “You’re fucking ridiculous.” 

He got some pasta on his fork, lifting it up to Zev. Zev opened his mouth, slowly inserting the pasta into his mouth. Judah watched, a little uncomfortable and a little embarrassed for some reason. His stomach was full of butterflies. “Get the fuck away from me.” He pushed Zev in the floor, “You’re so fucking weird.” Zev sighed, ‘I love you, too.” Judah hissed and started watching the movie again. 

Judah’s eyes were heavy as he rested against the soft blanket on the back of the chair. Zev was laughing at whatever was happening but Judah was thinking and thinking and- 

_Itching._

He also could breath. 

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,-_

Zev picked him up, “Okay, let’s go to bed.” Judah struggled against him but he was no match during an attack. He kept having them and the wedding wasn’t helping ease him at all. 

When Zev got him in his room, Judah was sweating. Zev pulled his shirt off and ran some cool water in his shower. Judah was stripped to his boxers and placed inside of the shower. He got in with him and Judah closed his eyes. After a while he smelled body wash, “Are you taking an actual goddamn shower?” Zev looked down, “Well, yeah. I thought that I would take advantage of the water AND this coconut stuff Gigi got me smells so good.” 

Judah looked up and noted he was nude, “YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO BE NAKED!” Zev looked down at him innocently, turning his lower body to display his god like ass to Judah, “But, how else would I get clean, Judah? Are you dirty? You can join me,” Zev watched as Judah’s face flushed red. He knew it wasn’t from the water and his attack had passed from that stage. 

Zev smirked, “You seem interested. If you’re too weak, I can suds you up.” Judah became skittish and averted his eyes to was floor. He was clearly embarrassed and uncomfortable. Eventually, when Zev was finished Judah did shower and came back into the room. Zev was on the bed in a pair of black briefs. “Are you wearing Gucci?” Zev grinned, “Gisela got them for me. She said they were fancy. I don’t think I need fancy underwear to rub on my ass.” 

Judah snorted, “No, I guess we don’t.” Zev snorted, “But, damn I sure think it’s important that Gigi has a different pair of panties for every hour.” Judah did actually laugh at that, “Same.” Zev patted the bed, “Um, the girls are away and I’m not done with you.” Judah rolled his eyes, “Fuck no. I’m going to sleep in my huge bed.” 

Zev pouted, “Awwwwwwwwwwww Jude, please! Pretty please with sugar on top! Watch another movie with me!” Judah sighed, “Fine.” 

*** 

When David entered the office he found his wife missing. She had left a note that she’d be at the studio. He quickly showered and changed into more relaxed clothes. He grabbed some coffee and heading down the street. 

When David saw her, she was glaring, “Take your shoes off and do not step on this white paper.” White paper was rolled out all over the space. “Mikasa, how...how much square footage have you covered?” She looked around, “I don’t know. Maybe 1000?” Gisela and Aviva were there being fitted again for the dresses. Mikasa was custom making them all and her hands were numb from needles. 

“David, my love, I need you to just be clean, help me lift these dresses off the forms and back on and just...be you.” Mikasa smiled and David blushed, “I’ll try to be perfect, mami.” Gisela and Aviva were eating wraps from Gio’s next door but they looked hungry and tired. Gaia was with Hannahlore and Yoni while Nikko, Mila, and Lylah traveled for work. Gisela stretched, “How is life, uncle David?” 

David hugged her, “Great, honestly. Look at how happy we all are right now.” He was trying to downplay that they all had dates moving closer and closer for deployment. Aviva smiled, “Remember when you used to give us piggyback rides?” David smiled, ‘You want one?” She laughed, “Yeah.” 

David carried her around on his back while Gisela stretched and Mikasa sewed. David was in awe of her, “I can’t even believe you made this all in such a short time.” Mikasa smirked smugly, “I’m making two for each and the bride’s maids.” David whistled, “Mami, you are a goddess.” 

Gisela sat down with Aviva, “How do you think the boys are?” Aviva snorted, “Who cares? Probably passed out from the food.” Gisela looked at the floor, “You know, a week without them is going to be kind of miserable.” Aviva shrugged, ‘Not really.” Gisela smiled a little, “Why do you say that?” Aviva gave her a hot look, “Because, we have each other.” 

Gisela laughed shortly, “Fuck yeah.” 

Armin appeared, “HASHEM THIS IS AMAZING!” He was with Erwin and they were fawning over the dresses. “Baby, look at these embellishments!” Armin kissed Erwin, “Reminds me of how happy I was to marry you.” Erwin smiled, “Baby, every second with you is like the moment I saw you walk down that aisle.” 

Aviva and Gisela stood up, “Daddy, did you arrange our rooms?” Erwin nodded his head, “I did and I got your vati and I a room because why not?” They would stay the night and week at the hotel in order to be pampered and close to everything they needed to be close to. Armin and Erwin had put their things in the room already and the girls were thankful, “Vati, I’m really hungry and after this final fitting can we get food food?” Gisela wrapped her arms around his waist and batted her eyelashes. 

Erwin chuckled, “Of course!” Armin smiled, “We’re going to make sure that you two are pampered and taken care of. Do you have a schedule for Gaia worked out?” 

Luckily for Aviva, everyone wanted her daughter. “Yeah, kind of. Of course, when her father wants her then he’ll probably take her. She’s with Hannalore and Yoni till Sunday. Monday she’ll be with Lilly and Alexi because they _love_ her and they’ll have her till Tuesday when Gio takes over and then Wednesday to Friday Brach-Bianca has her.” She giggled a little at her flub. Tuvia called Bianca Bracha so often that all of sometimes slipped up which was exactly what he wanted. 

She had a phone call and excused herself. 

When she returned she looked surprised, “Um, actually, Ezra and Cesare want her all week after Hannalore.” Erwin raised an eyebrow, “That sounds like they want practice.” Armin frowned, “My grandbaby isn’t someone’s practice doll.” Aviva nodded her head, “I agree but Cesare and Ezra are capable.” 

Gisela went over to have her dress put on with David’s help. Erwin helped put Aviva’s on and both men stared in awe at the beautiful women before them. Marco opened the door and entered, “Oh my God.” He stopped short of the white paper holding his shoes in his hand. Armin turned around, “This makes all that we did worth it. It’s going to be the most beautiful wedding in the history of weddings.” 

*** 

Gisela pulled Aviva closer, her lips wet and soft. She kissed her slowly, tantalizingly teasing her by pulling on her G-string and dipping her fingers into the cleft of her succulent ass. Aviva normally took over but she was enjoying moving her fingers slowly through Gisela’s hair, taking strands between her fingers. 

Gisela pulled back, moving down to kiss her neck while Aviva slowly moved her hand down to her hip. She gasped as Gisela sucked on her collar bone. Aviva moved her hands both up to push Gisela back, “I’m done being teased.” 

Gisela smiled, “Remember when we found a video of baba and vati that they sent to daddy and aba?” Aviva snorted, ‘Um, there were a ton on their phones.” Aviva had felt like her world had been shattered realizing her parents even had sex. Gisela seemed embarrassed but then talked to the rabbi about it. 

She’d returned and told Aviva that the rabbi said it was good that their parents had sex because that was important in a relationship. They’d both seemed to grow up with that in mind and never told their parents they saw the videos. 

Gisela smiled and grabbed her computer, “What if we send something to the boys?” Aviva smiled, “Oh fuck yes.” They set it up and went back to kissing, making sure they put on a show. 

When Gisela’s hand smoothed down Aviva’s stomach and disappeared into her panties, the sinful breathy moan that occured made her so wet it felt like her panties were soaked. She pressed against her clit and between the moans, they took off their clothes and pressed their bodies together, legs tangling so that they could move against each other, rubbing and thrusting. 

When they were finished they reviewed the tape and starting tweaking it. 

“Oh my God, Aviva. Your skin is so nice.” 

“I love your tits, G.” 

“Dat ass tho.” 

“What filter should we use, G?” 

“Omg no, let’s lighten it and then do pink shadows.” 

“Nooooo, I love pink but baby, we gotta do purple because it’s so awesome with our white adidas tops and panties.” 

Gisela stared at the video, “Shiiiiit we’re so pretty.” 

“How is your hair so luscious? I look like trash all the time.” 

“Aviva, what the fuck? Your hair and nails are gorg. I love you, bae.” 

Gisela kissed her shortly, “Ugh we’re gunna fucking wreck them.” 

There was a knock at the door and the girls went to answer it. When they opened the door, no one was there. They both poked their heads out the door and then- 

_SPLASH_

_Intense loud giggled and laughing_

“GOTCHA!” 

Erwin and Armin were running down the hallway into their room. They had thrown water balloons at their daughters. Gisela and Aviva stared at each other before planning revenge. 

*** 

Judah woke in the arms of Zev, “Let go of me, asshole.” He was mumbling and not really fighting that much. Zev held him tighter, “Go back to sleep.” His face was in the crook of his neck. Zev’s lips were soft and warm against his skin. Judah felt strangely comforted and liked how big Zev was. Gisela also liked this so he chopped it up to being twins. 

Zev moved his lips slowly up and down his neck till he felt Judah relax and go back to sleep. Zev then removed himself from his comfortable bed and went to Eren’s room to wake him. 

*** 

There was something nudging him and nuzzling against his face. He had no idea what it was but it was somewhat comforting. It was cold and warm, wet and slimy, and it was very confusing. Judah’s eyes started to open. He was in Zev’s bed and he was licking him. 

_Wait, what the fuck!?_

A Doberman puppy, almost a year old, was licking him in the face and squirming to be near him. Judah’s breath was caught in his chest. He loved Dobermans and could barely control the look of utter surprise and delight on his face as he reached for the puppy. 

“Awwwwww, HaShem, look at this schoene punim.” He held the dog closer while it licked his face, “Ugh you're fucking filthy but I love you!” Judah using a baby voice made Zev drool. His pants were tight as he leaned over to pet the dog, “He's special. He's like Blitzen. I had Baba set me up with the same guy and here we have this little guy.” 

Judah paused, “You got me an emotional support dog?” Zev had on his Erwin smile but his eyes were kind like Armin’s, “Well, I think we all need a little support, don't you?” 

Judah hugged the dog naturally like he'd done Donner growing up. He was feeling calmer, “Wait, what's his name?” Zev smirked, “Guess!” Judah thought about it, “Gideon?” Zev grinned, “Noooo.” Judah thought longer and then smiled, “Uzi!” The dog's ears shot up more than they already were and Judah hugged him closer. 

Zev smiled and sat down on the bed. Judah talked to Uzi while asking all sorts of questions. Zev got under the covers with Judah and somehow managed to get Judah in his arms. 

Uzi laid on Judah’s lap contentedly as Zev stroked Judah’s hair. They were watching Rezort on Netflix but it was more of a lazy morning than anything. Judah felt thoroughly spoiled. 

Zev’s phone buzzed but he didn’t answer it. After a while, it bothered Judah, “You need to check your phone. I always respond even though I hate everyone.” Zev snickered, “I bet it’s Vati. He sent video of him and daddy hitting Aviva and Gisela with water balloons.” Judah spun his head around, “Let me see bitch get wet.” 

Zev grabbed his phone, “Oh, the message is from Gisela and it’s for both of us.” Judah was interested but, “Show me the first video.” Zev played it and Judah laughed such a maniacal laugh as he saw her little wet face. Zev tilted his head to the side, “Damn, Gigi is so beautiful. I just want to shove my face in her pussy and die there.” Judah laughed again, “Fuck man. Don’t say that in front of her brother.” Zev cackled, “As if you care!” 

Judah nodded, “What’s the other video?” Zev shrugged, “I dunno, let’s look.” Zev started to play it and both went silent. A few seconds in Zev’s face was red, “Oh, shit.” Judah was frozen, “Did they send us a sex tape?” Zev lifted his hand and with two fingers he touch Judah’s lips softly, “Shuuuush, don’t speak.” 

It started to get really heated and both were squirming inside. Judah was trying to not let on but Zev wasn’t even trying. Judah felt how hard he was against his hip and back. He wanted to move but he couldn’t. Zev exhaled, “This is some Sodom and Gomorrah shit right here. Oh fuck, I can’t look away. This is….what does the Talmud say about this?” 

Judah’s breathing was ragged but he was trying to keep it under control, ‘Don’t fucking ask me about the Talmud right now, Zev.” 

Both fell back into silence as they finished the video. 

Judah covered his mouth and moved away with Uzi jumping up and thinking it was time to play. Zev cleared his throat, “Now, will you answer my question?” 

Judah turned around and moved off the bed to ruffle Uzi and look for a toy or something to give him, “It doesn’t really say anything about women having sex. It’s not that big of deal and seems to just be more about other shit.” Zev stared, “Like, what do you think of two men?” Judah looked up having found a toy of Blitzen’s. 

“Rabbi Greenburg says that there isn’t anything against two men loving each other or having sex. It’s just a poor reading and translation of the Hebrew. It states to “lie with a man like a woman” and that’s referring to the practice that the Romans would partake in. They rapped the soldiers of the losing side in order to shame them. They slept with them like “women.” Therefore, as long as two people engage in sexual exchanges where love and consent exist it doesn’t matter.” 

Zev laid back down, “Would you ever sleep with a man?” 

Judah rolled his eyes and groaned, “You know I’m only interested in pussy and I’m getting married to the biggest cunt in all the land.” 

Zev’s face was stone. Judah felt awkward. “But, you never answered my question.” 

Judah felt defensive, “I’ve never even had that thought?” 

“Well, think about it.” 

“What the fuck?” 

“Do you think Gigi remembered to take her multivitamin? I should text her.” 

Judah snorted, ‘Yes, that’s actually the perfect reply to their video.” 

Zev giggled, ‘Oh, shit! It is! EHHEEHEHEHEHHEHEEHEHEH!” 

***** 

Gisela pouted, “He wants to know if I took my fucking vitamin!” Aviva pulled her out of the bed, “Let’s go to the spa!” Gisela grabbed her suit and bag before walking out with Aviva. 

*** 

The spa was luxurious and packed. They frowned at the idea of being turned away, “The Smiths?” Armin and Erwin left the lounge and waved at Gisela and Aviva, “Hey, sweeties!” 

“Vati!” Aviva pouted, “Can you get us in?” 

Erwin smiled, “Well, we can see about it.” Erwin went up to the counter and returned with cards, “Here you go, princess.” Aviva smiled, “Thank you!” They went inside and grabbed mud baths near each other. Armin was quick to gossip, “So, I hear that Gio is asking someone to your wedding.” Erwin stirred, “I hope it’s that dark headed girl.” Armin scrunched his nose up, “I can’t stand her.” 

Erwin looked at Gisela, “Have you and Zev talked about family planning stuff?” Gisela nearly choked, “We….we have in a way. I don’t want to think about kids until we’re finished with the war.” Aviva sank deeper into the mud. Erwin didn’t like that answer, “But, war can take a long time,” Armin cut his eyes over, “Erwin.” 

Erwin and Armin were aware that the war was going to be long and dangerous if they couldn’t get things to line up just right. “Daddy, I know what you’re doing.” Erwin blinked innocently, “What?” Gisela’s glare was cold like Judah’s, “Even if I was with child I’d be on the front line with a machine gun and grenades for days. Being pregnant won’t prevent me from being present. Zev has already betrayed himself as having thought about that. I will not be trapped.” 

Aviva closed her eyes. 

Armin looked at her, “Princess, what have you planned with Judah?” 

Aviva didn’t plan like that, did she? 

She just wanted another child with him. 

“I don’t know. We’re moving and that’s about it.” 

Gisela felt all the other things in the background. “Daddy, vati, did you have a ceremony with baba and aba? Are we legally not allowed to get married?” Gisela’s question threw the Smith’s into a tailspin of No and Shush go back to sleep. 

******* 

Erwin came back up to the room with Armin feeling rested and happy. He wanted to take a shower, make out with his husband, and then go get some lunch. Erwin went into the bathroom, taking his clothes off. Armin stood in the doorway, “I was thinking about buying an island.” 

Erwin burst into laughter, “Don’t tell Levi!” Erwin flipped the seat up to pee and then- 

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” 

Armin saw what was happening and then felt it, “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” 

Erwin tried to stop peeing but he couldn’t turn it off. Pee shot everywhere, all over him and the floor and on Armin who was now shooting backwards to get out of the bathroom. It had been in slow motion for Armin who saw his husband’s pee slowly bead up on the plastic cellophane pulled across their toilet bowl. It had welled up, shooting upwards like tiny bombs of mass destruction. He would never be the same. 

Erwin looked at the floor, “BABY! HELP!” Armin shook his head, “No, Mr. Pee-Feet. You’re on your own.” Erwin pouted, “Baaaaby.” Armin giggled, “I was so scared. It was like the Russians had come. Get in the shower. I’ll call the maid and see what can be done.” Erwin ran the water and got in, “IT WAS THOSE GIRLS!” Armin cackled, “Damn, we gotta get them back.” 

*** 

A few days later and Zev had showered Judah with more things than he’d ever need. He was heading to Ezra’s house to see his little girl and introduce her to Uzi. Uzi was sitting in the car in the passenger seat with a doggy seatbelt on. He called Zev at the club, “Old man, I need Uzi’s paperwork and I need to get some information from the breeder. He’s got something going on with his teeth. 

Zev made a sad noise, “Really? Shit, I had baba check him out before.” Judah made a clicking noise with his tongue, “No, he’s fine it’s just the set of teeth he’s got on him are really insane.” Zev cackled, “Perfect for my little prince.” Judah nearly passed out, “What the fuck?” Zev hummed, “I’ve got things under control here but I’ll be late. It was a good idea to ask Alexi to help manage.” 

Zev was basically his other manager but when they went on their honeymoons they’d need someone else. Gio was also working there as a supervisor. It was nice to have family involved in the sex work industry. Really not Lavie approved at all. Keita hadn’t been asked. 

_Fuck, Keita._

He was so problematic these days. 

_Am I not?_

He blinked, “Am I not a bad ass anymore?” 

He looked over at Uzi. Uzi turned his head, ears at attention, and tilt to his head making a “Mw?” noise. “Uzi, am I a bad ass?” Uzi whimpered a bit and then barked. Judah smiled, “I am?” He barked again, “Okay, well if you say so.” He had been enjoying Uzi more than anyone knew. 

Somehow, he understood his aba better. Blitzen was breathing new life into him as well and Judah thought about Gisela. Maybe she needed one? However, there was someone who needed comfort and always sacrificed his needs to make others happy. 

When he arrived at the building he could already tell this guy was serious about breeding and taking care of animals. He walked inside of the brick building that had been whitewashed and German smeared. Uzi walked on his leash well while Judah made it to the front desk, “I need to speak with the….” 

The girl smiled, “Dawg-Man. Yeah, he’s here. Are you Judah?” Judah nodded and she led him back. She was cute and flirty but he didn’t care. He had a pink clad demoness he was about to commit himself to in the name of the laws of Moses. Dawg Man looked nice. He was tall, chubby, had a beard and a nice smile. He talked and talked about all sorts of things even though Judah never asked anything. 

At one point he told Judah that his teeth were the way they were because of his parents. His lineage came mostly from police and military dogs. He had told Judah to let Uzi into the yard with the other dogs to play. When they had finished speaking, Judah called to Uzi but he would come. Dawg Man smiled, “He’s with his best friend. It’ll be hard to separate them again.” 

Judah’s brow furrowed, “Best friend?” Dawg Man shrugged and gave a sympathetic look, “Well, he’s the last of his litter. No one wants him because he can’t be shown and they’re a little freaked out by him. It’s a shame. He’s an amazing dog and Uzi and he were basically inseparable here.” 

They walked around the yard and found Uzi pushing and nuzzling on his “friend.” Judah stopped in his tracks, “Did Zev ever see this dog?” Dawg Man shook his head no, “No, because he was being shown around in hopes of getting him adopted.” Judah watched the two dogs play, “Uzi?” Uzi cowered and put his head down. He clearly didn’t want to leave his friend again. 

Judah couldn’t handle it. 

He felt wetness around his eyes, “I want him.” 

Dawg Man perked up, “Really? Really? I’ll waive the fee if you’re serious. He’ll be so happy to go home with his friend.” Judah nodded and they started the paperwork. 

*** 

Ezra whined, “Cesare! Stop!” Cesare wiped the counters down, “She eats off of the counter!” Ezra was holding Gaia and washing her hands, “OUR COUNTERS ARE FINE!” Cesare turned around, “HER FATHER IS GOING TO BE HERE IN SECONDS!” Ezra paused, mouth open, “Yeah, you’re right. He’d freak.” 

Gaia smiled and Ezra hugged her closer, “That’s right, you’re daddy will be here in a little bit to say hi!” She giggled and Ezra let her down before taking her in the living room. They had built a fort and played with puppets. Things had gone so well and Sekhmet was very interested in Gaia. 

They had gotten along wonderfully. 

Cesare took Ezra by the wrist pulling him into a kiss. They leaned against the counter when Jean walked inside, “Ewwww, we make food there.” Jean had a beer and a beard. He’d come over to crash after working in the studio. Marco was currently asleep after coming back from Italy. Jean popped Cesare, “Hey, have you finished the wedding gift?” 

Cesare held onto Ezra, “Yeah, but it nearly killed me.” Jean pushed him and Ezra frowned, “Hey, we’re having a moment.” Jean pushed him more, “Yeah, I see that. I’m jealous. My husband is asleep being lame!” 

He pushed Cesare who let go of Ezra and wrestled with his father down to the floor, “Papa, you suck!” Jean laughed as he pinned him down, “TAP OUT, BOY! TAP OUT!” Cesare did and when he stood up Ezra shook his head, “You disappoint me.” 

Judah’s voice ran a chill down their spines, “Why is nobody watching my daughter?” Judah was in the arch of the doorway with two dobermans at his side. Ezra was on the floor in seconds, “AWWWW PUPPIES!” 

Jean rolled his eyes, “My God, Eren Jr.” He looked at the dogs, “Judah, shit those are gorgeous dogs. Where did they come from?” Judah shifted nervously, “Zev got my Uzi,” he pulled on Uzi’s leash, “and I just got the other today for Zev. No one wanted to adopt him and he’s perfect.” 

Ezra wasn’t touching him, “These are service dogs.” Judah huffed, “Yeah, so shut up.” He let them off the leash and looked at Ezra, “I need to see how they handle Gaia.” Judah was more than nervous about that and Ezra understood. 

However, they were great with Gaia. She had Uzi wrapped around her little finger and the other dog just sat down and relaxed with Sekhmet. Judah was relieved as he played with his daughter. She was his everything. 

Ezra sat down next to him, “What's the other one's name?” Judah smirked, “Asher. I think it's pretty cool and awesome.” Ezra leaned against Judah, “Awesome is Zev’s favorite word.” Judah sighed, “He sucks. Hey…..if you were going to talk to someone about confusing social clues, who would you talk to?” 

Ezra looked like he was seriously thinking, “Jean and Marco are actually not that bad. Erwin is best but you have such a different relationship with him so you might not feel comfortable. I would wait and ask Marco when he is awake, honestly. Jean has been drinking.” 

Judah nodded, “Gaiaka, give daddy kisses.” She crawled over and he felt like his heart was exploding. “Cesare and I are having so much fun with her.” Judah kissed his daughter's hand, “She's the best.” Ezra leaned his head on his shoulder, “I'm scared to be a dad.” 

Judah huffed, “And I'm not? I'm terrified I'm going to be horrible. I'm scared she'll hate me or think poorly of me. I just want to be as good of a father as Aba but I know that isn't possible so maybe I'll be just a little better than Jean.” 

Jean was listening, “Hey! ASSHOLE!” Judah snickered. 

******* 

Gisela held her hand very still while Eren concentrated. His tongue peeking over his lips like Armin’s normally did. She held her breath, thinking. It was always something. 

“Baba? How do I become a good wife?” Eren paused, “Uh, I don't know. What's a good wife?” She shrugges, “I dunno. I'm worried I'm not nice enough to Zev after everything still.” Eren sat back, “Well what does he like that you could do more of?” 

“Mmmm oral sex.” 

Eren’s face fell, ‘Wait….are you fuckin’ with me?” 

She giggled, “Yeah, a little. I'm just scared to have kids. I'm scared of pregnancy. That's really weird and intense and Aviva and the other girls act like it's not but the idea of having an interloper in me freaks me out. I am scared of it.” 

Eren felt bad that he couldn't relate, “Well, we do have the wombs.” She bit the inside of her cheek, “Yeah, but I could always get pregnant. It's weird, you know? Something will move inside of you and makes you feel bad and keeps you from eating and drinking what you want.” 

Eren sighed, “Glad I missed that.” She looked at her hands, “And Judah will be weird about it. I know he will. I'd be weird if he was pregnant. I dunno. There will be someone between us. These children will mean more to us…..maybe more than we mean to each other…” 

Now that she said that, it was all Eren could think about. Eren and Gisela talked a little more while he finished the henna on her hand. He told her all about how he’d worn it for his wedding and how his mother had done it for herself. When Gisela was finished, she checked up on Aviva who was looking at video of Gaia and Judah on her phone. 

“When was that from?” Aviva smiled, “A month ago. Ugh, I love how he holds her and kisses her and smiles at her. I love how she just molds to him and comes alive when he looks at her.” Aviva looked at the picture, “He fucking sucks.” Gisela giggled and returned to her phone to text Zev. 

She already had a message. 

Zev: Can I put this green apple dish soap in the dishwasher? 

Gisela: NO! DO NOT DO THAT! 

Gisela: But….you did already, didn’t you? 

Zev: BUBBLES! 

* 

Gisela: What are you thinking of right now? 

Zev: You, honestly. 

Zev: Sometimes naked 

Zev: Sometimes not 

Zev: Just depends 

* 

Zev: Ughhh I love you so much and it sucks being away from you! 

Gisela: Haha it’s not that bad. 

Zev: It is! I’m at the club and I was thinking about asking Judah if he was interested in something. 

Gisela: What? 

Zev: Building a venue for artists. We could play and it’s another stream of revenue. 

Gisela: I’ll talk to him about it 

Zev: Fuck yes, you’re the best. I mean, fuck, you’re more than the best. I can’t wait to marry you. 

Gisela: I can’t wait to marry you either. I can’t wait to hear those words “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” 

Zev: I’m going to recite my vows twice 

Zev: Once at the alter 

Zev: and then in the bedroom 

Zev: with my tongue 

Zev: one letter at a time 

Gisela: Oh hell, yes. 

She texted him more but Aviva pulled her away, “We gotta go, girl. Our rehearsal dinner is tonight.” They went back upstairs to get ready. Aviva needed a shower and so did Gisela, “You know, I was thinking about going to Ulta and buying some face mask stuff.” Aviva smirked, “Vati got us the 1000 dollar gold ones. He kept the other eight for him and daddy. Oh, I think that aba and baba are doing it, too.” 

They opened their door and turned to take a shower. They could share and save time. When they flipped on the light both of them screamed at the top of their lungs. 

Erwin and Armin had made a cheese cloth ghost with black eyes and an angry looking skull covered in blood and put it in their shower. They snickered as they heard them down the hall. They had recorded it, too. “Oh my god, look at their face!” Giggles erupted from both of them. Levi and Eren knocked on the door and Armin showed them both. Levi smirked, “Damn...send it to everyone in the family.” Eren snickered, “YASSSS EVIL LEVI! YASSSS.” 

**** 

Judah went by Petco and got a few things before returning home. Zev was in the shower, head leaned against the wall. He seemed to not notice Judah’s watchful gaze as he stood in the doorway, “Zev, come to my room when you’re done.” Zev made a small humpf noise that made Judah pause. He felt like he should stay but then he also had a dog he was going to surprise him with in the other room. 

When Judah had left finally, Zev turned the water off. He called Gisela, “Tell me you love me.” She smiled and he could feel it, “I love you.” He hummed and she knew, “Did you have a moment?” Sometimes, he was so overwhelmed. Being away from her made it worse. It took him back to the months they weren’t speaking and then how badly he was tortured, “Yeah...Gisela, has anything strange happened?” 

Gisela shook her head, “Ha, I shook my head like you could see. Listen, Zev, nothing has happened. I’m safely under the watchful gaze of daddy and vati. Aviva and I have a room and we’re in a prank war with our parents. In a few hours, we’ll be at the dinner. After that, we’ll be getting married. Then, we’re going somewhere.” She giggled and he joined in, “Yeah, you have no idea do you baby?” 

She laughed harder, “Nope. You’ve kept everything under wraps.” Gisela and Aviva didn’t know the house was ready yet. They thought it’d be months more and they were itching to decorate and get involved. Judah had put the fear of god into everyone not to go over there and he was the only one with a key. 

“Zev, if you can’t sleep go into Judah’s room and tell him I said to let you sleep in there.” She really was more upset than she was letting on. “Hey, Baba says you should get a career.” Zev snorted, “You mean aba?” Gisela giggled, “Yeah. Have you thought about what you wanna do after the war?” He thought it was cute she was thinking in terms like after and the future. It wasn’t really looking like it’d be that simple. “I like working here and there….” 

Gisela pushed, “I asked uncle David to talk to you.” 

Zev blinked, ‘Ohhhh, you did?” 

He felt a little uncomfortable, “Gigi, that’s really...intense.” She sighed, “I’m sorry. I just thought that maybe it could help. You haven’t really spoken to me.” He felt his throat closing up, “It’s just….I want to have it figured out before I do.” She sounded sad, “But, wolfy, we have to talk to figure it out.” Zev nodded and huffed, “I nodded but you can’t see.” She smirked, “I do it all the time and feel so stupid. I wub yew.” He felt his heart beat faster, “I love you, my beautiful kaetzchen.” 

He hung up and pulled on his boxers. Zev was debating what to wear any way. He liked when Gisela picked his things out for him. 

* 

Judah was laying on his bed looking at the ceiling when he came in, “Zev, stay where you are.” He got up and blindfolded him before sitting him on the bed, “If you wanted to get kinky, Kempfer, you should have told me. I have some ideas of my own.” Judah’s body tensed. He normally would pipe back but there wasn’t the normal playful shit talking feel to it anymore. It always seemed like an _invitation._ Zev’s hands reached for him but he squirmed away. 

He heard Zev’s breathing. It wasn’t as smooth as normal. He worried about it. 

Zev heard something slide on the floor. 

When his eyes were opened, he blinked. Judah was on his knees in front of him with a large box. It had a bow on it and the paper was, “HOLO! OH! JUDAH! THIS PAPER IS ALMOST AS AWESOME AS MEEEE!” Judah smirked, “Open it, dumb ass.” Zev bent down and the box moved slightly. Zev paused, ‘OH!” He looked like a child: totally mystified. “Jude, the box moved.” He whispered in awe. 

Judah shook his head, “Open it!” Zev pulled the top off and held his breath. A small puff of paper popped up into the air and then a ghost white face, pink nose, and blue eyes of a doberman appeared. It’s long tongue lolled to the side before it jumped forward onto Zev and that tongue lapped at his face. 

Zev’s exclamations of joy and excitement, “PUUUUUPPY!” Judah couldn’t help but smile as Zev and Asher met. He felt Uzi next to him, equally excited and now shaking waiting for his term. Zev held the dog to him, “YOU GOT ANOTHER ONE!?” 

Judah shrugged, “Well, he’s for you.” Zev paused, “Wait, what?” Judah smiled, “He’s Uzi’s best friend. Apparently, he was on an adoption tour while you were with Uzi and you never saw him. I couldn’t separate them after seeing them together and he’s really perfect for you. It's like the Creator had you in mind.” 

Zev looked at him and frowned, “They didn't want him because he's white?” Judah nodded, “Clearly, they don't know beauty.” Zev kissed his snout, “What's your name?” Judah reached out to pet him. Judah loved animals almost as much as his baba and brother but he never really let on, “Asher. Asher is a really good boy who likes to have fun and be cuddled. He likes toys, ice cream cones, water, and audiobooks.” 

Zev smiled ear to ear, “What!?” Judah shrugged, “I asked. He told me all about himself, too. He says he wants you to make him the most awesome dog in the world.” Zev sputtered, “Psssshhh he already is. Don't worry buddy, I like your genetic mutation. We're a pair of cool albinos. We got this. We're gunna rule the world.” 

********** 

Gisela and Aviva walked into their rehearsal dinner smiling as Armin and Marco whirled around making sure everything was in place. They were eating after the run through but they’d not told the boys yet that they were still keeping a very strict no contact policy. They reasoned the video wasn’t a breach because it could have been taken at any time. A white, gauzy sheet was held up on their side of the table to keep the boys from being able to really see them. 

Levi thought it was too old school but David loved it. Keita appeared with gifts, “I thought...I thought I was late.” He looked sickly. Gisela reached out to touch his face, “Why on earth are you so ill looking?” He shrugged, “Stress. It’s just stress. I’m sorry. Mom said she was going to put makeup on me. I really am sorry.” He sighed, “I understand if you want me out of the pictures. I look hellish.” 

Gisela shifted nervously from one foot to the other. She looked really sad, “I want you in the pictures. I’m just sorry you’re like this.” Their conversation was quite and private. Aviva stood to the side for respect. Keita seemed unsure what to do, “I’ll do whatever you want. Just let me know if my face is too much.” He laughed shortly and she hugged him, “Stop being so mean, Keita.” 

He looked at the sheet, “I gotta go. It’s almost time for us to do the run through.” Armin appeared, “OK, you two will be up in the balcony watching. We’ll have everyone else down below and some stand ins for you two.” Levi and Eren entered, walking over to Armin. The girls went ahead to the balcony while Armin made marks on his timesheet, “I hear the sounds only little people can make.” He turned around and saw a smiling Levi, “I have a baby.” 

Armin tilted his head to the side, “Lylah?” Levi grinned, ‘Mmm yeah.” He had been obsessed with his granddaughter and the more she grew the more he loved her. Between Gaia and Lylah his heart was so full and his arms were, too.Blitzen was at his side, looking up at her. Armin pet him shortly, “Okay, so the boys are not allowed to see the girls so you need to not be problematic.” 

Levi pouted and Eren smirked, “Oh, he’s gunna be.” 

Levi snorted, “Leave me alone with my granddaughter and dog, you mean ass high maintenance yuppies.” Gaia was giggling as Erwin entered with her, “Baby, are you sure the kids can’t be in the wedding?” Armin gave him an annoyed smile, “Children destroy everything. No.” Ezra and Cesare were behind him and both gasped, “VATI! WE WERE KIDS!” Armin kept smiling, “And you destroyed every damn thing.” 

The rest of the family arrived and things got under way with children delegated to baby sitters. 

************ 

Tuvia handed Judah a cigaret, “Where are the women?” Judah snorted, “I have no idea.” Bianca appeared, “Are you going to keep flirting with cancer or come inside?” Tuvia gave her an annoyed look, “Are you ever going to leave me alone?” She gave him a look that made Judah tense up. She turned to go back inside and Tuvia shrugged. 

Judah looked at him, “She tells you what to do?” Tuvia scoffed, “No.” He threw the cigaret down and Judah snorted, “Looks like it.” He punched Judah’s shoulder, “I was finished.” Tuvia headed to the door but stopped, “As if fucking Aviva doesn’t run you. The difference is I’m not with Bracha.” Maxim and Ilya appeared at that part with Zad. 

Judah didn’t know what to say. Ilya, however, did, “Yeah, and we’re all not so sure about that being fair to her.” 

Zev appeared with the dogs, “WHERE IS GIGI!!!???” Maxim made a look that said he was confused, ‘You know she said you cannot see each other. She and Aviva are not going let you see them.” Zev looked deflated. He actually looked like he’d died and then been shocked back to life or stabbed in the heart with adrenaline, “WHAT?” Asher whimpered. Zev’s eyes were wet. 

Ilya reached out, “Zevka, are you going to be okay? It’s just for tonight, da? One more night.” Zev tried to gain some semblance of control back, “I just...I wanted to see her.” Judah and Maxim both tensed. Jean was suddenly there, “Hey losers, let’s go inside already! It’s fucking gorgeous in there!” Jean grabbed Ilya’s shoulder and then moved down to pet the dogs, singing, “I know I’m not suppooosed to buuut I liiiike yoooou so imma touuuuch youuuu.” 

Inside, they all looked around in shock. It really was beautiful. Marco and Armin had combined two weddings into one. Marco came up to Jean and kissed him, “Hey, sexy papa.” Jean blushed and kissed him again, “Babe, you’ve got such talent.” Jean had heard Marco talk to Bellamy about reaching out to major newspapers for more explosive stories. Marco pressed against him, “When we go home, can we role play?” Jean grinned, ‘Omg babe, that’s so naughty.” 

Armin called them all to attention, “Okay, so since the girls are keeping themselves separate from the boys, we’ll need two stand ins for each couple.” Nikko took the board from Armin, “I think it’d be sweet to have our parents do it. I mean, both brides and grooms are represented here.” 

Mila was smiling, “I think that’s a wonderful idea.” She was holding Lylah, shifting her from hip to hip. Yoni rolled his eyes, mocking her, “I think that’s a wonderful idea.” Ezra and the others snickered. Nikko’s glare was lethal, “I think you peons would do well to not snicker or mock my wife. I have many options for revenge.” The room went silent and Levi filled with pride, “I am very glad to see the Ackermann fear is alive.” 

Armin looked at Erwin and blushed, “I guess we can do it.” Eren took Levi’s hand, “I like the idea.” Aviva and Gisela were above watching. There was a tense moment, “Why is Zev upset?” Gisela’s hands were wet from sweat. Aviva looked closer, “Why do they have dogs?” Both girls were confused but everything seemed under control downstairs. 

Zev and Judah sat down and watched. Eren took Levi’s hand, “Remember when we got married?” Levi nodded and Eren was suddenly very sad, “I miss mom and dad a lot.” Levi held his hand tighter, “I miss my mother, too. I miss my uncle. I’m sorry….” Eren looked at him, “Don’t be sorry. There isn’t a reason to be sorry.” 

Armin and Erwin were having similar thoughts, “You killed my parents on our rehearsal night.” Erwin grimaced, “Never really gets better. I mean, hearin’ you say it like that is just very….” Armin looked at him, “Blunt? How do you soften something like that?” Erwin shrugged, “I don’t know. Can’t we just repress it like other people do?” Armin snorted, “No, well, I don’t know. Maybe.” They split up and started the rehearsal. 

*** 

Zev and Judah sat down at the table pouting. Erwin looked over at them, “It’s not all that bad.” They could hear Aviva and Gisela through the sheet. Zev looked at his father, “It kind of is.” Erwin smirked, “They look nice and they’re happy. Think of how happy you two will be tomorrow.” Judah scowled and Zev looked sad. Levi felt poorly about it all and Eren wasn’t any happier. 

Hanji and Oskar sat down, “I see that house is basically finished. How is the view?” Levi shrugged, “It’s less shitty.” Eren kissed him, “Your face is less shitty.” Hanji smirked, “You two are gross.” Oskar looked at Zev, “I see you have a new friend. Both of you, actually.” Zev perked up, “The most awesome emotional support dogs in the world.” Levi looked at Judah, “I was wondering when you’d tell me.” 

Judah had been avoiding Levi. 

It hurt Levi, but he’d not said anything. 

David sat down, “This is beautiful. Hannalore and Yoni are taking pictures for their anniversary here in a few weeks. I think we need to book the Bodt-Smith agency for decorations.” Mikasa slumped down in her seat and Eren’s eyes widened, “YOU!” She held a hand up, “Stop.” He didn’t stop, he whispered, “are druuuunk.” 

She leaned forward, “Yep and that’s thanks to your daughters and their huge wedding dresses. I’m drunk, I’m gunna get fucked up, and then I’m gunna get fucked.” She looked at David who blushed, “Oh, goodness.” Eren laughed, “I want to tear this wedding up with my mad skills.” Armin snorted, “Mad skills? How is eating flaming hot cheetos upside down a skill?” 

They argued while Judah leaned on Zev, “What do you think they’re wearing?” Zev leaned closer, “Sinful things.” 

Gisela held a shot up as the food was served, “L’Chaim!” Gio came out of the kitchen with Sasha and Connie. They had arranged the food, naturally. But, Gio had insisted on making the cakes. He and Europa were taking talking now with Alexi and Lilly. Bellamy was drinking heavily and Keita was awkwardly speaking with Zad while Tuvia glared at Bianca who was holding Lylah while Mila straightened Nikko’s tie. Aviva was tracking something on her phone when she looked up, “Damn.” Gisela gave her a look, “What?” She shook her head, “Timing. It’s nothing.” 

They started talking, eating, drinking, and then dancing. Erwin stalked towards Judah but Armin’s hand was like a death grip, ‘Nope, nope, nope.” Erwin turned around, “But!” Armin shook his head, “NOPE! He’s a reformed boy, let him alone.” Erwin’s brow furrowed, “Reformed?” Armin smiled, ‘I’d bet my Celine purse on it.” Erwin scoffed, “Ok, I guess you’re serious.” 

David looked at Mikasa as she danced in the girls section. He gave her a chin nod and she winked. Levi appeared, “Are you finally developing game?” David smiled, “Maybe. One can hope.” Mikasa walked over, “I want you.” David laughed, “Wow, how much have you had?” Hanji appeared out of nowhere leaning on her back, “I brought the moonshine stuff.” 

Levi took it from her and downed half the contents, “It’s not my wedding tomorrow.” He gave a wicked smile and pulled Mikasa towards him to dance. Hanji danced with David till Erwin joined and then Oskar. Armin happened to have more, “WE CAN FINALLY ALL GET WASTED!” The children watched as their parents dealt with their stress in very unparental ways. 

_**3 hours later** _

Judah was driving with Zev in Hanji and Oskar’s range rover. His face was the absolute epitome of pissed and sour. Zev reached over and touched his face. Judah didn’t flinch, “What the fuck do you want?” Zev grinned, “A bachelor party.” Judah pulled them into the driveway, “It’s a little too late for that. We don’t have shit.” Zev reached behind him where the dogs were, “Wait….Hanji has this moonshine stuff.” Judah’s raised an eyebrow, “Well, that’s promising.” 

Zev and Judah got out of the car with the dogs and made their way inside to let them get settled in. Their parents were god know’s where. “Judah, wanna take these to the pool?” He nodded and the boys sat down and prepared themselves to get drunk, fall asleep under the awning, and then get married. 

***************** 

Erwin opened his eyes and groaned. He heard the phone ringing and luckily it was before he needed to be up. He thought luckily because that meant he’d not overslept and right now, he felt like shit. All he wanted was Waffle House. He reached for the phone. Armin was in Eren’s room asleep. Levi was somewhere but not there, “Hello? This is Mayor Smith.” 

He listened to the voice on the end, “Oh, okay. Thank you very much and I’ll be there very shortly.” He hung up and crushed the phone in his hand with the strength of a thousand titans. 

******** 

Zev and Judah were disheveled looking and their heads hurt. They couldn’t remember much of what happened. Judah dug in his pockets and found receipts, “Shit, we ordered shit.” Zev groaned, “Judah….I…..it makes me….I can’t handle it in here.” Judah noted he was sweating, “Sorry, Zev.” He didn’t know what else to say to make it better. Zev gripped his knees, “At least,” his voice was small, “if you’re here then someone will come.” 

Judah frowned, “Don’t say shit like that.” Zev grimaced, “I’m afraid, Judah.” Judah moved over to his side of the cell, “Don’t be. I’m here.” Judah thought about it, “Why did you get so upset the other day?” Zev sighed, “Gisela wants me to get a career. I don’t know what to do other than be a soldier. I can’t imagine what she’d want me to do with myself but I need to figure it out because she’s fucking amazing and deserves the world.” 

Judah hummed, “What do you want to do?” 

Zev looked at the floor, “Do mindless work.” 

That was interesting, “But, that’s not very stimulating.” Zev looked at him, “It is, actually. I mean, my mind still has too much going on but it’s not really the same stress. I don’t know. Is that bad that I just want to…” The guards passed and he tensed. Judah grabbed his hand, “Zev?” 

Zev was shaking, “Yeah?” 

“Do you like working at the club?” 

Zev didn’t breathe, “Yeah, actually, I really just only want to work with you.” 

Judah looked at him, “With me?” Zev nodded, “It makes me feel so much more comfortable and I like the club.” 

“Zev, don’t you think you’re overqualified for the club? I mean, I’m a-” 

“entrepreneur.” 

Judah blinked, “Degenerate.” 

Zev frowned, “You’re definitely not that.” 

Judah scowled, “I hate when you’re fucking sensitive and serious. Fuck. Listen, you’d be wasted just at the club.” Zev seemed to deflate and Judah didn’t really know why he was saying it. He liked Zev being there and he liked how he ran things. He turned to him, “Actually, you know what, fine. Fuck it. We’ll work something out.” 

Zev smiled, “Thanks.” 

Judah was still holding his hand, “You know…..I love Aviva.” Zev brought him into a bug bear hug, “I KNOW BUT THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME!” The buzzer on the door was jarring and when it opened both boys wished they were dead, “Get your shit and get the fuck out to the car. You disappoint me.” 

Erwin radiated hate and threats. 

He pulled them to the car by their necks while screaming at them. 

Judah was tossed in the back seat. He proceeded to lay down and try to hide himself. 

Erwin’s rage knew no bounds, “Zev! How could you do this the night before your wedding?! Wait! Don’t even tell me because I know this is because of _Kempfer_ in the back! I SEE YOU! SIT THE FUCK UP!” When they got to the house Judah was pulled to the office, “You know what? Armin can’t save you now. I was going to speak to you and he said, “No, he’s good. He’s fine. He’s growing.” Well, you’re growing alright. You’re growing into my tumor!” 

“If you ever hurt my daughter, leave her, cheat on her, hit her, verbally abuse her, or get hooked on drugs and alcohol and just turn into a big piece of shit who is always in jail, then I will find you and I will kill you. If you hurt her and your child, I will kill you. Also, stop corrupting my son. He has never been in trouble in his life! And now this! What do you have to say for yourself?!” 

Judah was speechless. 

He just sat there, silently shocked and terrified. 

Erwin stared, “Say something or I’ll beat you.” 

He had never seen _this_ side of Erwin. 

Judah’s voice cracked, “I love her. I don’t even remember last night. I….” 

Judah squirmed. 

Zev came inside, “It’s my fault.” 

Erwin looked like he might set the house on fire, “GO GET READY! BOTH OF YOU!” Zev grabbed Judah from his seat, “Come on!” Erwin was so mad still he opened his desk drawer and took out a bag of weed he and Jean shared with Ilya often. “If I’m going to survive today, it’s gunna be high.” 

************** 

Armin woke the girls and got them over to the event space. He had coffee and snacks ready and Marco was paying the vendors. He wondered where Erwin went this morning but it didn’t matter. Today was the ultimate black vs pink wedding. “Vati?” Gisela’s voice wavered. “Yes, baby?” Armin was smiling when he saw it. He pulled the car over and Aviva and Gisela started to giggle. In the city center were two large shrines to them. 

There was graffiti, burn marks, signs of a struggle, and loose pet store animals. 

One building had collapsed. 

Fake money littered the streets and collected in the corners. 

Armin turned around slowly, “What happened here?” Aviva and Gisela looked slightly worried, “The police had to have come.” Armin looked suddenly very nervous, “Maybe not.” Aviva laughed, “Oh, no. I don’t know why I am laughing. I’m just so damn nervous.” Armin put them back in the car and called David, “Listen, can you find my son? And find my other adopted son and make sure they are okay and not upset at all.” 

David was very perplexed but he agreed, 

When they showed up at the wedding venue they were whisked away to get ready. Aviva and Gisela were pampered and Ezra brought Gaia for a little mother daughter time. He looked refreshed, “Thanks for those face masks.” Armin nodded, “We all had a lot of fun.” 

Ezra had walked into to find his baba’s face covered in gold. Armin was also golden and Erwin had some sort of bubble mask on that made him look like santa. Levi was annoyedly looking around at them all. “Aba, why are you not in a mask?” Levi looked at him, “Do you not fucking know who I am?” 

Ezra snorted, “Cesare is with Gaia but I needed baba to sign some papers.” Armin held a mask up, “Want one?” Erwin snorted, “Levi, if your son does it you need to.” Levi pouted, ‘I will not put 1000 dollars on my face.” Ezra gawked, “WHAT THE FUCK! SLAP THAT ON ME!” He sat down and took his aba’s hand, “Come on aba. It’s better than that fucking bubbly shit.” Erwin frowned, “Hey! It’s going to take all the oil out of my poors.” 

Levi had reluctantly put it on and Ezra took a picture of them. Instagram was abuzz with likes, “What is DILF?” Levi pointed at some of the comments and Ezra made a sickly face, “Ewwwww, what?!” Eren jumped behind him on the bed, whispering mischievously in his ear, “Dad I’d like to FUCK!” Levi’s face was smug but then, “Shit, wait, how do they know I’m a dad?!” Ezra started to cackle. 

Ezra looked at him, “You’re old. Obviously my dad.” 

Armin giggled, “Burn.” 

Erwin looked tickled pink, ‘You’re fucking oooold.” 

Levi moved into his lap and started to mess his bubble mask up. Erwin kissed him, gold getting in his teeth and bubbles up his nose. Ezra got up, “I’ll take this off at home and give Cesare a scare.” He grabbed a bottle of champagne, ‘I thought you all had enough at the rehearsal. Wait, shit, that’s why you’re all so giggly.” 

Ezra got to his house, creeping up to the nursery. Cesare was leaned over the crib, a book on the floor that had fallen off the side table. He’d been reading to Gaia as she fell asleep. Cesare reached down to move her hair to the side, “Gaia, you’re so beautiful. You look so much like your dad.” He leaned inside and kissed her sweetly, “Thanks for letting two kids try and take care of you. I know I’m shit but Ezra was amazing. He’s gunna keep us all alive.” 

Ezra moved into the hallway and went to their room. 

When Cesare entered he jumped out making Cesare scream in terror. Ezra pulled the mask off, “1000 dollars of hashtag worth it.” They had gone to bed only for Ezra to be called in for an emergency at the clinic. 

Now, Aviva and her daughter were happily eating chicken nuggets watching PowerPuff Girls on Netflix while Gisela’s hair was curled. They smiled when Mila arrived with Lilly, “I’m so happy to see you!” They [changed](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/d3/fc/e8/d3fce890414a7312557647c5724233ec.jpg) while the other girls arrived. Hannahlore was completely ready when she arrived. She was pregnant and glowing, “My sweet husband had a glam squad come to the loft and then a limo bring me here. Sorry that I’m so late.” 

They all groaned but Mila eventually admitted that Nikko had treated her to breakfast in bed and took care of Lylah all by himself. Gisela stood up, “Did the boys get our gifts?” Armin was signing papers, “They have been delivered to their room for them to see.” 

She nodded and texted Zev, “Wanna know a secret?” 

Zev was speaking with Rabbi Berkovitch when he answered the text, “Yes?” 

Rabbi Berkovitch was talking to him and Judah about life, marriage, commitment, finances, and everything else when he read her reply. 

Gisela: I lowkey want your fingers inside of me. 

Zev turned a bright shade of red. Rabbi Berkovitch paused, ‘Are you okay?” Zev nearly choked, “Yes! I’m fine. I just wanna get married.” Berkovitch laughed, “I’ve been there.” When they went to their room, Judah asked what that was about, “Nothing. Just….your sister.” Judah smirked, ‘She sexted you?” Zev nodded, “Yeah, guess she’s not all sweet and sentimental like I thought she’d be.” 

Judah and Zev opened the door, “I wish I knew why we were even in jail.” Zev’s mumbled thought was lost when they saw gifts on the bed. Judah went to his and found inside tickets to a show he wanted to go to. He also found a book of homemade coupons for all sorts of things. He scanned through them and noted one in particular. He nearly choked. 

Zev seemed really moved by his, “Gigi got me a session at the zoo to play with tiger cubs. She knows it’s my favorite part of the zoo and when I was really sick she convinced Daddy and Vati to let me go.” 

Judah remembered, “We went for a field trip and you were so fatigued you just wanted to sit in front of their display and she stayed all day.” 

Zev smiled, ‘Yeah, and then you wanted to stay but managed to convince Aviva to go with you on the safari ride so I could be alone with her. It was the one time our parents had nothing to say because they were so in awe of you and Aviva not fighting.” Judah dropped the book and Zev picked it up. 

Judah sighed. The book hadn’t closed. Zev’s face lit up, “Oh, wooooooooooooooooooooow.” Zev stalked forward as Judah backed away, “Shut up.” Zev grinned and it made Judah suddenly very nervous. Zev’s tilt to his head and piercing gaze held him. He felt suddenly very hot, “There’s a coupon for anal sex. You know, Gigi’s pretty into that.” Judah blushed, “Shut up!” Zev had him back against the wall, “I take it from your blushing you and Aviva haven’t. You know, I’ve wondered if one twin likes something, does the other?” 

Zev’s breath was hot on his face. He was so close he could feel the nerve endings in his body tingle at the expected contact. He felt warmth pool in his lower stomach as Zev’s lips lingered mere inches away, his husky voice made Judah shudder, “Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a bottom?” 

Judah was torn between beating the fuck out of him and something else. 

There was a knock at the door, “Open up! It’s your BABA AND ABA!” Zev backed away to turn around, “ABA! BABA!” He held his arms open for them and Judah stayed pressed against the wall. He recovered a little and then Erwin stuck his head in, “Guess where they were this morning?” 

Levi turned around, “Where?” 

Erwin gave Levi a very heavy look, “Jail.” He tossed the paper work to him, “Have a talk with your degenerate son as I did with mine.” Levi turned to Judah, “YEHUDA ZIDON ADDAR!” Judah hissed from the sting of his full Hebrew name, “Aba….” He sounded completely shamed and submissive. Eren found that most alarming. He whispered, “What did you do?” 

Judah looked around frantically, “I don’t know….” 

Zev grimaced, “Aba, baba, we really don’t know.” 

Levi was still very upset, “Yehuda, you could have missed your wedding! How could you!?” Zev stepped forward, “Aba-” 

Levi’s glare slapped him to the ground, “Zev Chaim, don’t you dare.” Zev was thankful for just two names because the third would have surely killed him where he stood. “You two have no idea just how disappointed I am in you. Zev, you’re supposed to make it all okay! You’re supposed to be a good influence!” 

Zev grinned painfully, “But….he’s just so cute how can I deny him? Plus, we drank only one mason jar between us! That’s nothing! We were supposed to get drunk-ISH and then lay down and sleep. We were at home and then…..jail.” 

Eren chewed the inside of his cheek thinking, “Wait, what mason jar?” Judah looked at his baba, “Just one of the jars in Hanji’s car.” Both Levi and Eren suddenly dropped their lecture and just helped them get ready. Judah sent a text to Aviva. 

Judah: Baby girl 

Aviva: What? 

Judah: You’re such a fucking babe. 

Aviva: I wanna cuddle you 

Judah: Really? 

Aviva: Yeah :3 X3 and choke on your cock. 

Judah: What’s up, baby gorila 

Aviva: XD 

Judah: *girl 

Aviva: Eatin’ chicky nuggets with Gaia 

Judah: I wish I was there. 

Aviva: I’m sending her over in a few for pictures with you. 

Judah: I want to see you. 

Judah’s hands were shaking. 

Judah: I want to touch you. 

Judah: I want to kiss you 

Judah: Taste you 

Judah: Hold you 

Judah: I want you 

Zev was lowkey spying over his shoulder. 

Judah:....I lov- (He erased it) want to use my coupons 

Zev rolled his eyes, “Let’s finish and go meet the boys for pictures. 

Judah nodded, “Cool.” 

*************** 

[Zev](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/14/15/7d/14157d792cf649996ab857ad80d26dc8.jpg) and [Judah](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/42/20/b0/4220b00f439e6ceb3ca39603071f7511.jpg) looked dashing in their pink tuxes and the boys looked great in the black ones. Zev seemed nervous, “I’m about to marry the love of my life, my very soul.” The corner of Judah’s mouth lifted a bit into a nervous smile. 

While they waited, they heard the girls singing songs. Gisela’s eyes were tightly closed as she rocked back and forth in her dress praying. She prayed and prayed. Aviva was next to her doing the same. Mila held her prayer book tightly and joined them. Lylah was with her father and Gaia was on her way to her own. It was time they all prayed for what this day meant and for what was to come for them all. 

Levi walked to Judah, “You’re going to officially sign the Ketubah afterwards in your time alone. Gisela and Aviva wanted it that way. I’m very proud of you. I doubt there are enough words to express that. You are so important to me and give me such utter joy. I love you so much, Judah.” 

Erwin was there, speaking to Zev, “When you were born I realized that the world was literally the most dangerous place. I looked at you and saw everything in the universe and felt every emotion there was to feel. I have never loved anything like I love you. You are marrying the one person I know without a doubt that you love like I love your vati. I cannot wait for you start your life and family with her. She is getting the best part of me and your vati that we have to give and we hope that one day your children make you as happy as you have made us.” 

******* 

Wedding photos [1](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/2a/e0/55/2ae055ed049a3974ffd8564c19c5b49a.jpg) [ 2](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/be/f6/c9/bef6c99137bfaec8e4d49d8f0b324ccf.jpg) [ 3](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/2d/0d/72/2d0d72868d5249da7625f3b353fb20eb.jpg) [ 4 ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/52/5e/9d/525e9d823e96a3f46e2f8d743b570baa.jpg) [5](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/31/c0/a0/31c0a0476d39e212be98f4782d73d67e.jpg) [ 6](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/d1/4a/0e/d14a0ea8e8ecd00dbdc1d21e4b965218.jpg) [ 7](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/00/b4/36/00b436ab81ee2eaf9bf570e16c11ab70.jpg) [ 8 ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ca/a2/e5/caa2e500daa7ec18563cdace269392fa.jpg)

The wedding was truly a combination of pink and black wonder. Armin and the other parents were in awe at their handy work. As they were all walking down the aisle underneath the flowers and flora, nothing would ever be as beautiful. Hanji was a little jealous she didn’t have Armin and Marco plan her wedding. 

Judah and Zev were at the front, nervously waiting for their future wives. When [Gisela](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/4f/46/89/4f4689a3e5a936db9c0985d221be088d.jpg) appeared, Zev lit up like a child. He cried tears of relief, joy, and something more he couldn’t even put into words. After all he’d been through, this was his dream come true. He was scared of not being perfect for her but he was also dying to try. She smiled at him as she approached wearing Levi’s mother’s veil. Levi and Eren were teary eyed and clutching their only daughter between them. 

When she was fully in view the gasps filled the room. Her dress was a masterpiece and Zev couldn’t help but grin and chuckle, “That’s a big dress.” He looked over at Judah and reached out to touch his arm. Judah was in love with his sister’s happiness. He felt himself start to well up, “She’s so beautiful and so very happy.” 

When Armin’s head was visible, Judah’s eyes were turned away from his sister. He was searching for her. For the girl he hated but loved but hated but loved more than he could ever really hate her. He never really did. He was marrying Aviva Smith. He was _marrying_ Aviva fucking Smith. 

Erwin’s impressive form was next and then her. 

Gisela had made it to the stairs before the chuppah and Judah heard Zev’s breath hitch. His own was non-existent as he saw [Aviva](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/6c/8b/a6/6c8ba609d372249a69d6f7e7a890361e.jpg). She was there. 

She was there. 

Zev took Gisela’s hand as she walked forward. Levi and Eren’s eyes were shining in the light. Gisela smiled, her eyes wet. Her dress was so large Zev laughed, a bit nervous, “Gisela, I don’t know where to stand.” She moved to his side and laughed with him, “Do you like it?” He smiled brightly, ‘You always were a princess.” Gisela reached over to take his hand, “You were always my prince charming.” 

Zev wanted to fall on his knees, “I already davened but I think I need to again.” She felt tears on her cheeks but he reached over and wiped them away before raising her hand to kiss it. 

Aviva was doe eyed and shy. Her father’s walked her up to the front with gentle reassuring squeeze. They kissed her cheeks and told her they loved her. Berkovitch was ready and he comforted her. But, there he was. Judah was standing there, a dumb founded and awed look on his face. He reverted to the Judah that asked her to marry him. He was timid, shy, sincere, vulnerable. He was without a doubt very serious about this all. 

When she walked up to him, she face him. Her dressed pooled around him. He looked at her, at the details. He noted how modest it was and thought that was as unexpected as everything else she did. He thought she looked like herself, not all hairspray and severe make up. He didn’t dare breathe or move. She didn’t move to his side for a moment longer before Berkovtich reached out to move her to her spot. 

Judah couldn’t stop looking at her and his sister. This was happening and he couldn’t believe it. The wedding began and they each took turns being circled by their brides. They wore no jewelry and when the kuddishin cups were brought out for them to drink from there was a heavy moment for each couple as they locked eyes. 

Zev was touched by Berkovitch and he held up a simple platinum wedding band. It would be replaced by another later, one with embellishment, but for now they were being traditional. Stones are not allowed in wedding rings for their weight and value cannot be truly known by the Kallah (bride). He took her hand and slid the ring on, "Behold, you are betrothed unto me with this ring, according to the law of Moses and Israel." Gilsea smiled at him and Zev cried tears of joy. 

It was time for Judah to do the same. His throat felt dry and his hands shook. He looked at Aviva and never to the crowd. It was too much. He felt like he wanted only her to see him and hear him, not a room fill of other people. "Behold, you are betrothed unto me with this ring, according to the law of Moses and Israel." Aviva was crying and he wanted to kiss her right then. He wanted to kiss her tears away. He saw Gisela looking at Zev the same way. He wondered if crying was a Smith thing. 

The Ketubah was read aloud for all but their names and the nitty gritty left out. It hadn’t been signed yet and this was merely tradition. Now, it was time for the seven blessings to be recited over the second cup. They had asked family members to recite a blessing each to honor them. Zad, Bellamy, Yoni, Ezra, Ilya, Nikko, and Tuvia came forward to recite them. Nikko hugged his brother and kissed his cheek with a blessing mumbled on his tongue. 

They drank the wine and then cloth bags with glasses inside were brought out. Judah stepped forward but the bag was hidden under part of Aviva’s dress, “Baby, move.” She smiled and pulled her dress back so he could prepare to smash it. Zev was giddy knowing he’d get to do this and Gisela took his hand, “Ani ohevet otak.” He kissed her and Berkovitch rolled his eyes, “Not yet!” The guests laughed. 

They both broke the glass at the same time with a loud crunch. Zev took her into his arms and Judah reached for Aviva. Their dresses posed serious problems but they managed. As they left, the guest clapped and pictures were made in a flurry. Zev’s hand gripped Gisela’s as they headed towards the room they would sign the Ketubahs ([1](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/68/cf/a0/68cfa0271278b6f144f3bca534de58ae.jpg) [2](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/f3/10/b8/f310b86a0dc0904b43fadecb2f887761.jpg)) and then to their Yichud. 

***** 

“What do you mean you won’t take Smith?” Zev was staring as Gisela gripped the pen. Levi was watching his daughter intently. Eren was stress eating with Jean. Erwin frowned, “I think Smith is a great name.” She looked at Zev, “But, Ackermann is Jewish. Smith is not. It just sounds so assimilated.” Zev blinked, “How long have you been thinking about this?” She shrugged, “Since I picked this pen up.” 

Judah and Aviva were looking at their paper. He sensed Aviva hesitate, “G, it’s not that bad.” She started to form an A with the tip of the pen and smiled, “But, I am pretty stoked to be called Mrs. Ackermann.” Judah’s heart fluttered as she handed him the pen to sign. Berkovitch read the Ketubah and gave a small smile, “Judah Zidon Addar is now officially married by the laws of Moses to Aviva Simcha.” 

He looked over at the other two. Zev looked worried, “Are you not wanting to be married to me?” Gisela shook her head, “No! I love you. It’s just….it’s my father’s name.” Her name stood on the paper, “Gisa Yael.” Zev reached over, “You can keep it.” Levi eventually snapped out of it, “No, it’s fine. Gisela, you can do what you want but you’ve never had a problem until now. If it’s me you’re worried about then don’t. Take his name if you’ve always planned on that. Ackermann-Smith is really long. You’re baba make fun of me suggesting he do Ackermann-Jaeger.” 

Zev smirked, “Ackermann-Smith is fine by me.” She looked at him, “Is it really okay, aba?” Levi nodded, ‘Yeah.” He would never understand how a thing like a name was this important to him. 

She smiled and wrote Smith. Zev didn’t want to let on how much of a boost that gave him that she’d be Mrs. Smith. But, he had to admit Ackermann was a really awesome name. 

When they left for their respective Yichud times, Eren felt Levi pull him into his arms, “When you took my name and promised to raise our kids as Ackermanns, I had never been so joyous.” Eren grinned and turned around to kiss him. Erwin and Armin were having a moment. When Erwin locked eyes with Levi he snorted, “Smiths will always be a level above Ackermanns.” 

Their children heard the fighting and yelling as they closed the doors of their rooms. 

****** 

Zev at a few snacks from the plate while he held Gisela close to him. She apologized about the name, “I just read the part the other day...reread it really, where my aba told my baba about how the name is important. I don’t know….it hit me right then and it was really strange to even me.” She kissed him, “I love you.” 

He was giddy, “This is my heaven. I love you, too.” She moved in the floor below him, “If we’re gunna make out it has to be down here because of the dress.” Zev smiled, “This dress is YUGEEE!” He moved down and under the layers making Gisela giggle and swat at him. He kissed her all over, taking the dress off to hold her, “What are we gunna do about this dress?” She grinned, “I have another to change into.” 

He looked at her, ‘You’re so smart.” She nodded, “I have to be.” He moved over her, “Yes, you do. I’m not gunna be the leader. I’m gunna be a good Jewish husband.” She stroked his face, “You’d be a good Jewish husband no matter what. I love you and I am so happy. I want you to be happy and at peace, Zev. I want you to be content and so happy.” He kissed her sweetly, “I am most happy when with you and making you happy.” 

They kissed a little longer till Zev pulled back, “If we keep kissing I’ll get too excited.” She sat up, “Promise me you’ll talk to David?” Zev nodded, “Okay.” She kissed him again, “And thanks for destroying the city with homages to me and my beauty. I’m the luckiest girl in the world.” The way she started kissing him made him not admit he had no idea what she was talking about. 

*** 

When they entered the room, Aviva went straight for the strawberry lemonade. She took a swig and turned around, “My throat was so dry up there. I was so glad you had to talk and not me.” Judah was awkwardly standing in the corner. She straightened herself up, “Are you okay?” He nodded but his eyes trailed her body. She felt nervous, “Do you not like the dress?” He took a small breath, ‘It’s pink. It’s really pretty.” 

She drank more of her lemonade, “Why are you staring so much?” He shrugged, mumbling self consciously, “I don’t know. You just look really beautiful.” She approached him, “You look,” she started smile and couldn’t control it, a breathy laugh escaping around the words, “less shitty today.” He grinned to himself, ducking his head down, “Thanks, baby girl.” 

She sat down in her dress in the floor. It moved up around her in mountains. He walked over and removed his shoes crawling over the mounds and towards her. She took his face in her hands, “Ikh hab dikh lib.” (Yiddish: I love you) His face lit up as he moved out and to the side to kiss the inside of her palm, “Ya teba lubloo.” (Russian: I love you) 

He kissed her and, to her absolute surprise, he started to pray. 

******* 

[Gisela](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/16/50/a7/1650a72b8283d82acbe7d206661467f1.jpg) and [Aviva ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/8b/e3/a2/8be3a2d08d984e75f50917220cafc387.jpg)changed after pictures into their new dresses. Mikasa was drunk again and loving it. She danced with David while Bianca and Alexi danced nearby. Judah spat his beer out as Aviva approached and Zev picked Gisela up to carry her to the dance floor. 

Everyone was happy. 

For a moment, everyone forgot about the war. 

*** 

Keita was smoking outside when Erwin appeared, “Give me one.” Keita jumped and handed his own to Erwin. Erwin took a long drag, “What’s wrong with you?” Keita didn’t say anything and Erwin eventually exhaled loudly, “Are you upset that Gisela married someone else?” Keita was but that wasn’t it, “I don’t like myself very much.” Erwin looked at him, “I’ve felt like that before.” 

“Do you know about the third time Armin nearly divorced me?” 

Keita’s eyes were wide, “I didn’t know there were two previous times.” Erwin nodded, “Well, this time was just a matter of principle. I’d become obsessed with something. I’d rather not go into it. I started to ignore him and our children. It was just that I needed to know if I was right. I needed to know if my hypothesis was true and this blind conviction I had to achieving this caused me to lose sight of what was important. In fact, Armin was what I needed to succeed.” 

“Sometimes, we think we’ve got it all figured out and we know how we’re going to achieve something. We believe in our way so much we fail to see that someone else was helping us or they’re needed to complete the task. That’s always been Armin. He’s been the person that completes everything for me. I _need_ him. It’s a need that is deep in the soul. So, obviously, I got on my hands and knees and begged for forgiveness and he didn’t divorce me.” 

Erwin had drank a fair amount and took Keita into his arms, “So, whatever is going on, just take a step back and really ask yourself what’s wrong.” Keita didn’t pull away, “Don’t you hate me?” Erwin’s chest rose and fell rhythmically, “Your sins are no more than my own. But, if you were not who you were then maybe so.” He thought that was fair. David came outside, “Keita, how sweet. You don’t hug me like that.” Keita smiled but it was a bit forced, “How is mother?” David chuckled, “She’s just being mother.” Keita went inside to see Lilly. He’d always gotten on well with her. 

David looked at Erwin, “I’m very happy today.” Erwin smirked, “You’re always happy.” David shrugged, “I try to stay positive. It’s not good to let defeatism set in.” Erwin’s eyes were like a hawk, “What are you getting at?” 

“I’m going to talk to Zev about becoming a bureaucrat.” Erwin scowled, “You stay away from my son with that mess. He’s going to be a…...he’ll be something.” David’s eyes were piercing, “Isn’t that something? He’s never really had a career in mind. He wanted to fight for another country. He was a lone soldier. He is a soldier now and a general. He’s going to save the world and lead the men with iron teeth.” 

Erwin huffed, “Actually, no.” 

David looked confused, “He’s the king.” 

Erwin gave him a challenging look, “I’m not dead, yet.” 

******** 

Aviva’s face was pressed into Judah’s shoulder as they slow danced on the floor. Zev was whispering to Gisela, a mischievous smile on his face. She broke away and Judah whispered to Aviva. Zev took his sister and Judah took his own. She buried her face in the crook of his neck, “I love you.” Judah smirked, “I know you do.” She leaned back, “Why did y’all make all those murals and stuff in the city center about us?” 

He looked even more confused, “What?” She explained the destroyed city square and he knew he had to be careful. Unfortunately, she sensed his hesitation, “Did y’all get in trouble?” 

He looked at her, “We don’t remember anything. We just….woke up in jail.” She gave him hell, “YOU COULD HAVE MISSED OUR WEDDING!” Aviva overheard and it was a scolding on the dance floor for the ages. 

*** 

They were leaving for the airport but had to be driven. Nikko approached Judah, “Come on brother. I’m taking you.” Judah gave him a rare sincerely humble face, “No, brother. You should go home with your wife and spend time with her.” Judah was pulled into a hug, ‘I’m going to drive my brother like a chosson (groom) king he is.” Aviva smiled as Yoni appeared, “I’m riding with him. I have to keep an eye on my little sister.” They packed up their things, “Uzi?” Yoni smiled, “He’s with Asher waiting there.” 

Gisela and Zev were heading to their car when all of their things were taken from them. Tuvia was driving them along with Alexi. Alexi was miffed that his sister was nowhere to be found and Bellamy seemed to be the cause. Alexi was finished playing soccer for Moscow till the war was finished. He wasn’t happy about it. 

Gisela laid her head on Zev’s shoulder, “Where are we going?” 

Zev snorted, “I’m not telling.” 

She pushed her arm behind his back and kissed his neck, “Meanie.” 

*** 

The issue that Erwin had realized was that they simply only had _**one**_ plane. He couldn’t have his newlywed children going around the world in the same plane and having to wait for the other couple to get off for them to go to their honeymoon. 

That was out of the question. 

Levi was waking up, drowsy and afraid, “Wait! Did you….where are….” Levi’s head snapped to the side, his world spinning, eyes blurry, “ERWIN! DID YOU CHLOROFORM ME?!” Erwin smiled with his eyes, “You’re so cute when you sleep.” Levi was livid, “Tell me why right now or I’ll rip your nipples off.” 

Erwin pulled them up to the airfield, “I know how you get when I make a few purchases here and there.” He turned the car off and handed Levi a water bottle. Levi took his hesitantly. He was cautious and for good reason, “You make outlandish purchases.” Erwin smiled calmly, “This is where Kempfer gets his need to balance books to go to sleep.” 

Levi’s eyes narrowed. His tone spiteful, “I’m sorry I taught my son to be fiscally responsible. He doesn’t care for unbalanced books and there is nothing wrong with that.” 

Erwin reached over and _booped_ his nose. 

Levi wanted to murder him. 

“God, Lee, you’re so cute.” 

Levi slapped him and through gritted teeth asked again, “Why am I here?” 

Erwin opened his door, ‘I’m getting another plane.” 

Erwin slid out as Levi started to scream. He slammed the door but the muffled yells still could be heard. A few service men walked by looking. He smiled in an apologetic way, “PTSD from service.” They all gave apologetic head nods and looks walking away quickly. 

By the time Levi got out, they had left and didn’t see Levi stick his hands up Erwin’s shirt to pinch his nipples. 

* 

“This is our luxury model and very much like your older model. Is this going to be for personal or professional use, Mayor Smith?” Erwin looked at the lush interior, “Personal. I think that with the size of my family that having two planes is best. We have a home base in Paris and a large collection of family in Italy and Russia. Also, sometimes I think we should get away more often.” He took Levi’s hand, “Don’t you think, Lee?” 

Levi ripped his hand back, “No.” 

The man gave a coy smile, “Trouble in paradise?” Erwin sighed, “He’s just cranky.” Erwin thought about it, ‘Well, more cranky than usual. I haven’t a clue why.” Levi hissed in anger, “Your existence makes me angry.” 

At the end of the tour of all available planes, Erwin turned to Levi, “Which one, Lee?” Levi scowled, ‘Oh, now you want someone’s opinion?” Erwin frowned, “Are you really angry at me? Do you not love me anymore?” Levi recoiled, “What? Don’t say such shitty things.” Erwin reached out to touch his shoulder, “I want your input. I love you and value you.” 

Levi saw he was sincere, “Well, I like-” 

“PSYCH! I already bought one!” 

Levi’s face was the picture of confusion. His reply was weak, “Wha-” 

Erwin leaned forward quickly, “This was all a ruse!” Levi was more than livid. He was full of rage, “YOU ASSHOLE! I’LL KILL YOU!” Erwin smiled while fending off the choke holds Levi was attempting to put him in, “I bought one and called it “Ha’Levi.”” A [plane](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/72/52/c9/7252c957c49d427cc784dd52967cb55e.jpg) was brought around. It was pitch black. When he brought him inside the [interior](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/40/06/a2/4006a2b54a2b9c305eb729f29aec3e9d.jpg) had been customized. Levi was speechless. 

“Erwin, how much did this all costs. It had to be rush ordered.” He looked around more as Erwin looked pleased with himself. He felt Erwin push him towards the bed, “Haven’t you wanted to fuck on a plane before?” Levi turned around, coy and mischievous look on his face, “Yeah but I’d like to see a strip tease first.” Erwin moved back, “Well, that can be arranged. I own this plane, after all.” Levi leaned back, a devious look on his face, “Dance for me, _daddy_.” 

Erwin would have done anything for him after saying that. He put on music on his phone and proceeded to give a damn good show. Levi watched, eyes glossy, hands playing on the seams of his pants. Erwin was feeling himself and the moment. He had not felt so risky and hot in a while. Having Levi look like he was drooling to get fucked by him made him hard and aggressive. 

He was about to take a hold of Levi when the song ended and- 

**30 minutes of add free music brought to you by the following sponsor.**

_Fuuuuuck always upgrade! Damn, I am not a smart man! I am so dumb!_

**ONE! DAY! SALE!**

_IT’S NOT EVEN A SEXY AD!_

**Come down to JC Penny’s one day sale. We’ve got all your Fourth of July fashions.**

He turned to turn it off and when he looked back Levi was missing. He spun around and around till he saw him by the door of the plane, “Bye motherfucker.” He had Erwin’s clothes and keys. Levi left, shutting the door and heading to car as fast as he could. When he left and pulled onto the highway he finally slowed down. He grinned, “Always pay for premium, old man.” 

Erwin had to call a car, fashion a robe out of a blanket, and make it back to the house with just a phone since his wallet was in his pants. He got out of the car and the driver followed him to the door to get his money. Armin opened the door, “What is going on?” Erwin frowned, “Baby, do you have money? Please pay the man.” 

He found Levi in bed with Eren eating McDonalds, “If you ever spend that much money and pull something like that again, I’ll bite your dick off.” 

Erwin stole some fries before leaving in shame. 

***** 

Zev opened the door to the hotel room. They’d had a rough flight due to storm and were exhausted. Gisela leaned on his back, her hair so thick and curly even hours after it had been styled. She loved how he smelled. His cologne saturated the spot between his shoulder blades where she buried her nose. 

They were in Iceland. It was the only place Zev felt was completely safe and entirely secluded for their own private relaxation. He wanted to spend time with his wife. 

_My wife._

He sat their luggage down, turning around to pick her up in his arms and carry her over the threshold. She kissed him slowly, “It’s finally us.” He smirked, “I’m going to lavish you with attention.” She giggled quietly, “I can’t wait.” He laid her in the bed, moving over her, ‘I love you, Gisela. I love you more than words.” She smoothed his hair back and admired his face, whispering, 

"Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for your love is better than wine. Because of the fragrance of your goodly oils, your name is 'oil poured forth.' Therefore, the maidens loved you. Draw me, we will run after you; the king brought me to his chambers. We will rejoice and be glad in you. We will recall your love more fragrant than wine; they have loved you sincerely.”

Zev looked down at his beloved and spoke, 

“"Behold, you are comely, my beloved; behold, you are comely; your eyes are like doves."

She pulled him down to kiss him senseless. They made slow, passionate love before falling asleep. 

*** 

The shops were idyllic. The weather cold but refreshing. The sky was breathtaking but he only had eyes for her. They went to the bathhouses, they road the AVs around the country, and then they picnicked on the beaches. 

In the blue waters Iceland was famous for, they swam beneath the stars. Gisela reached in the water and swam over to Zev, “Zevka?” He turned around, “Yes?” She rubbed the mud on his face, “You need to detox yo face.” She giggled and Asher barked from the side of the rocks. 

He grabbed her, bringing her in to kiss her and rub his muddy face on her. She squealed and tried to break free. He pulled her in his lap and kissed her, dominated her. She gave in and allowed herself to give into the moment. “Zev, take me back to the hotel and love me.” Asher barked and Zev smirked, “Gigi, even Asher knows a good idea when he hears it.” 

They laid in the bed, sweaty but chilled from the cold. Asher climbed into the bed and laid at their feet. Gisela looked up, “When we get back, I want to do it.” 

Zev hummed, “Are you sure?” 

She nodded, “Yes. I want to get it over with. Having this time together like this makes me long for a world where we’re like this and our children can be like this.” 

Zev smirked, “Children?” 

‘Shut up.” 

“Are you going to keep sleeping with Aviva?” 

Gisela gave him her best innocent face, “Why?” 

Zev snorted, “I don’t mind but...no one else.” 

Gisela tilted her head to the side, “Ha, thanks. You can tots sleep with Judah if he ever somehow loses his sexuality.” 

Zev rolled over closer to her, “Can we name our son Nachman?” 

“ABSOLUTELY NOT! That’s a horrible name. We’re not having kids for years.” 

Zev frowned, “But, I want to be an aba.” She popped him, “I’m doing what my aba told me to do. I’m a career woman.” He paused, “I’d love to be a stay at home dad.” He was serious and while Gisela had never thought about it, maybe that wasn’t so bad, “Really? Hmmm that’s pretty cool. I’ll keep that in mind.” He nuzzled his face into her chest, “And you can do what you want and let me take care of you when you’re done.” 

“What if I want to be a stay at home mom?” 

“I’ll support whatever you want.” 

“You’re the best, you know?” 

“I’m the…..say it G!” 

She rolled her eyes, “The awesomest.” 

***** 

Aviva thought Judah’s sudden sincere and reserved manner meant he regretted marrying her. He held her close but there was something strange there. She worried and worried the entire time they went to their honeymoon location. She had changed into a pink silk playsuit and he seemed to only stare more. 

When they arrived, she noted the isolated airport and turned to Judah, “Where are we?” He grabbed their things, “Costa Rica. We’re staying at the Tirimbina Biological Reserve.” She expected a fight or something other than just an answer to her question. He took her hand, “Come on. Let’s get to the room.” She followed him as he pulled her along. 

By the time they reached their room at the hotel she was dead on her feet. She walked inside and saw the bed. It was glorious and the duvet was a ruler or more thick in height. The pillows were fluffy and called to her. He started inspecting the room and prepared a list of cleaning that needed to be done. He was semi impressed with the lack of dust but it still wasn’t acceptable. 

It only took fifteen minutes after he opened his cleaning kit. Uzi was drinking his water after having his feet washed. Aviva hadn’t said much about him but she’d not said a lot in general. She was nice to him and on the plane ride she played with him and looked at the photos of Gaia with him. 

She’d been interested in how he’d got him and he noted her face was emotionless as he told her about Zev and then how he’d come to get Asher for him. She’d texted her brother afterwards but said nothing to him. He was really confused about her in general. Aviva was a mystery. 

Uzi went into the bedroom while he wiped the counter’s down again after finding a few water spots. All he wanted was to have sex with his wife. 

_Fuck….my Kalah. My wife. I have a wife. I am a chosson and she’s my kalah…._

It started to hit him even more. He reverted back to the nervousness he had asking her to marry him in the first place. 

He entered the bedroom and found her asleep on her stomach on the bed. Her body was enveloped in the white duvet with pillows around her. Uzi was on the bed next to her. Her hand was on his back and Judah was jealous. He felt immediately ridiculous since it was his dog but he wanted her touching him in her sleep. 

Uzi lifted his head as Judah gently opened the covers of the bed. He pulled her onto her back and took her playsuit off. She had on panties but he thought she might get cold so he covered her in one his Tshirts. She stirred but never woke up. He figured she was exhausted and so was he. He climbed in bed in his briefs and pulled her close to him to nuzzle his face in her hair. She pushed against him, molding herself to him. 

He played with her hair till she did wake up for a few moments, “Judah?” He pressed his lips against her head, “Yes?” Her breathing was labored, “I’m sorry. I’m sleepy.” He held her tighter, “It’s okay, baby girl. Sleep and be happy.” 

*** 

They were in the forest. Aviva was standing on a stone looking at the tall trees. The cave was in the distance. She found out they were known for their bats and with all the other appeals of Costa Rica, Judah had thought it perfect. 

He came up behind her with Uzi and looked at her in her sporty clothes and glossy lips. He thought she looked like princess Mononoke. A few bats flew by and one was captured, “Mrs. Ackermann, this is a horse nose….” She laughed and loved on the bat that seemed to have let itself be captured for this very reason. Uzi pressed against him as he scratched behind his ears. 

They spent all day in the caves and then went to the beach to eat and swim. It's how they both felt most relaxed. But, Aviva was still off. He pressed her against the wall of their hotel room, “Why are you acting so weird?” She pushed away, “I’m acting fine.” He thought about it and pulled out a bag of weed, “Baby girl, smoke with me.” 

*** 

She was on her back, his face between her thighs. 

He loved how she tasted. 

When she came and he laid next to her, she finally said it, “Did you really want to marry me? I feel like you’ve been really weird, too. I’m afraid you regret it. You’re all….quiet, shy, nervous, and you don’t treat me the way you’ve treated me our entire lives and I’m not sure how you want me to treat you.” 

He felt hurt, “I love you. I asked you to marry me and I’m just quiet. I’m not always so aggressive. I’m not sure how to treat you either because I want to…..to do things with you that I don’t know how you’d feel about it.” 

She was really high and having a hard time not focusing on those words, “What do you want to do to me.” Judah took a deep breath, “I want to kiss you all the time. I want to hold you and never let go. I want to bury my face in your hair, in your tits, in your ass.” She started to laugh and he took her hand to hold it, “I want to treat you nice and I want you to know I never, ever saw myself married with a child. But, with you, it feels beschert and I just want to do right by you. I want you to love me because I am so in love with you it’s pathetic.” 

She rolled over on her side to press against him, “I have a secret.” He looked at her as he lit up another joint, “What is it?” She took the joint, “I’ve been in love with you for a long time.” He watched her lips and thought about that, “When did you fall in love with me?” She shotgunned her hit to him and he pressed his open lips against hers. 

When she pulled back he saw a tilt to the corner of her mouth, “I didn’t know at the time, but when you publically claimed Gaia at the synagogue and delayed your flight back to Israel to do so. You held her beside me and the way your treated me made me realize that I’d always in some way, subconsciously, wanted to be with you for the rest of my life. If that meant with you fighting, then so be it. But, I couldn’t even imagine having someone’s child other than yours. I honestly cannot imagine it.” 

He kissed her, “You did look beautiful holding her for her name ceremony. I just wanted to be worthy of you and Gaia standing up there before HaShem and our family.” She kissed him back, “You’re perfect.” He didn’t understand how her words could make him feel like they did. She moved his hair back, “When did it happen for you?” Judah’s moment had come when his sister pointed out that he couldn’t keep killing women who looked like Aviva just because he missed her. 

He thought about what had started his obsession and longing for her. It was when he watched a video she sent him where she’d called him daddy and showed how Gaia smiled at his pictures that she showed her everyday. Knowing that Aviva spoke about him like that and was doing all she could to keep him as “daddy” to Gaia, he knew he would do everything he could to keep her. 

He told her this, minus the murder, and she laid her head on his chest, “If calling you daddy was all it took, I would have done it sooner.” He chuckled deep in his chest, “So, just to be clear, you know I’m just being me and trying to show you love the way I think love should be shown, right?” She hummed, “Mmmhm. I’m actually really excited around being treated the way Gisela always was. I’ve always been jealous.” 

He moved up and picked her up, “Let’s fuck some more and then I’ll call room service.” She smiled, “OK. But, I’m not really that hungry.” He frowned and she grit her teeth. He kissed her, “I’ll make sure you work up an appetite.” 

************ 

The house was finished and everyone wanted to come over and see it. Judah put a stop to that real quick, “I’m going to spend the first week in my house with my wife and child. Zev and Gisela feel the same way. We want our privacy and then we’ll throw a party for you all to come over and shit on everything.” He was frowning but Gisela made him smile by reminding him that none of the toilets had been shat in yet. 

Judah showed Aviva their new bedroom. 

She walked inside and turned around to face him, a look of utter disbelief on it, “NO! Where is the _pink!_ ” 

Gaia was on her hip, “Pink.” 

Judah looked beyond done with her, “Are you fucking serious!? Did you think I was going to live in a goddamn cotton candy wonderland?! AND WAS PINK JUST OUR DAUGHTER’S FIRST WORD!?” 

Aviva smiled haughtily, raising her nose to look down on him, “It was and she made her momma proud. I’m going to get some pink and then this will be an acceptable room.” 

He wanted to choke her. 

Aviva and Gisela started to settle in and finish decorating while Zev and Judah went to work. Zev was wiping tables off and talking with patrons. He was really likable and got on well with everyone. For Judah, he was a front man. Happy and sincere was a good counter to him. He sat down at the bar and reviewed over a week of expenses and profits. 

After a while he didn’t hear Zev anymore and turned around. David had stopped by. His handsome face was drawn into a serious and stern look. He was a strange site in Judah’s club and he didn’t think he’d ever come this far inside. HaShem knows he’d never been in the sex shop. 

David and Zev had a very tense and serious conversation. 

When David left, Zev’s entire body language had shifted. 

He got up and came to Judah, “Can I work in the shop? I’m not feeling like entertaining tonight.” Judah had no idea what to do. He merely nodded and Zev put down his rag. 

He went to the sex shop and Judah finished up his chores before letting Kip take over his shift. He wanted answers. 

* 

* 

* 

David was still awake while Mikasa finished up a few outfits for Keita to take with him. She had been proud that her son had done much of the work. He could sew like her and embroider like her mother and Carla. Her heart hurt thinking about Carla. The knock at the door had them both worried. 

David grabbed his gun and opened the door slowly. 

Judah was there, red faced and flustered, “What did you say to Zev?” 

David opened the door fully, “Judah, it’s nice to see you.” He smiled and meant it. He had expected worse but Judah wasn’t reacting the way he expected, “No, no small talk. What did you say to Zev? Why did you come to my club late at night when we just got back? What was so important?” David took a step back and looked at Mikasa who shrugged. 

David thought about his words, “I offered him a job opportunity.” 

Judah’s face was shrewd, “What is it?” 

David huffed, “That’s a private matter.” 

Judah’s eyes narrowed, “It stopped being that when I saw you speaking to him.” 

David raised an eyebrow, “That’s not how that works. Listen, I appreciate your concern but Zev and I had a private conversation about his future career. He’s the one that has to make the choice, not you. He will need to speak with his wife about it. I can offer you a similar opportunity if you’re open and or I can offer you some lemonade we have here at the house and send you on your way.” 

Judah scowled and turned to leave. 

David closed the door and looked to Mikasa, “Shit, he’s Levi and Zev is Erwin.” Mikasa giggled, “Yeah, don’t go after Zev unless you want Judah on your ass.” David went to her, “You think Zev knows he came?” She shook her head, “Does Erwin know when Levi does similar things? Nope. He’s protective of his family. Nothing wrong with that.” David smiled lovingly at his wife, “Of course, you’d have no problem with that kind of behavior at all.” She swatted him, “Shut up and help me pack for Keita while he sleeps.” 

********************** 

Gisela jumped into Judah’s arms, “Carry me.” He smirked, “Okay.” They were having an open house and shabbat dinner for the family. Aviva was still upset with the lack of pink in their room but she had to admit that Judah had customized it so it would be very much a good representation of them. 

Zev was still off but he seemed more interested in finding comfort in Gisela’s arms and long hours at the club. Judah had tried to pry into what David had said to him but there was no use. Zev had decided to be silent and that was that. 

Their [house]() was large and geared for the future. Levi was happy that his son had planned like he and Erwin. The rooms ([1](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/c6/ab/a6/c6aba60729b2187f9713df322a0a6e24.jpg) [2](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/fc/bd/6a/fcbd6a01f129c43c48b13fa2cf41d222.jpg) [3](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e8/96/5f/e8965fcc8d9e2b0cb8e0d9c5f123ad26.jpg) [4](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/4c/99/66/4c99661f72097738128b000226c71e15.jpg) [5](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/bf/15/b7/bf15b74610bc1b61cf5bf3302318a066.jpg) [6]() [7](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/3d/75/ec/3d75ec6ffa4c0fd448adccb107eeb1ef.jpg) [8](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/91/6f/cc/916fcc45959a837d6edd1c28d8f78edc.jpg) [9](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/5c/eb/d4/5cebd47d31cb8eba993f8284e3375aea.jpg)) were a bit generic in that they just needed them to live in it and make it their own. But, Judah had done everything to ensure it was ready for them when they returned and settling in was all that was needed to give it more personality. 

Gisela and Zev’s [room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/aa/03/1d/aa031db0f7a66fb9f231a979c7b6ac08.jpg) was large and plush. Their [bathroom](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/7a/ef/d5/7aefd5abe702da78a6bcff46fffae23e.jpg) was all marble and sweet. They liked the clean white and were all about comfort. Judah and Aviva’s [room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ac/fa/dd/acfaddd32387fdb8df476558353cf608.jpg) was a velvet dream with a sitting[ area](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e2/a9/7e/e2a97e78d8a2301e6d7c31969ed9772b.jpg) that spoke to their drama. 

Both Aviva and Gisela were [dressed]() to kill while showing off their house. There was a secret bat sanctuary on the property that Judah had shown Aviva when they came back. It had been a very sweet wedding gift that she’d been overwhelmed by. Zev had requested a library for Gisela full of thousands of titles, many that meant something to them. 

Gaia was happy in her [nursery](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/19/45/63/194563a4171a9c04a49c11efa56e9342.jpg) and she had Asher and Uzi wrapped around her finger. Zev bought Gisela a new [car](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e9/9d/42/e99d424c5620a000edf78980be584303.jpg) that Gaia always wanted to ride in because she thought it was “pwitty.” The more the family learned and explored, the more proud they grew of their children and their house full of wonders. A ballet studio, recording studio, and gym rounded it all out with a plethora of other empty bedrooms. 

Levi and Erwin looked at each other and smiled. Eren and Armin had beers and approached, “It’s like when we all first saw our house.” Erwin nodded, “I can’t believe you two moved in after only five months of dating.” Armin snorted and Eren grinned. Levi deadpanned, “They were basically sugar baby escorts.” Armin kissed Levi, “And then I became the headmistress.” Levi chuckled, bringing him into him with his hands grasping his ass, “Yeah, you fucked your way to the top.” 

Gio blushed as he walked up with Europa, “Oh, um….please...I…..I should pray.” He got out his rosary and Europa turned her eyes away. Eren laughed, ‘Oh HaShem, how did we manage to have two other Davids in the family that aren’t even blood related to him?” Keita appeared, “There is nothing wrong with dignity, Baba. We are above acting like debased animals.” 

Eren stopped smiling and turned looking around, “MIIIIIKAAASAAA! YOUR SON IS BEING MEAN!” Mikasa appeared with Lylah, “Shut up, Eren.” Jean could be heard cackling. 

* 

* 

* 

* 

Gisela rolled over in her bed. The covers were silky and soft on her skin. She heard the door open and felt him slip inside. He wrapped his arms around her, “Aviva took Gaia to dance class with her. I wanted to sleep with my sister after such a long time. Tell me you’re not going anywhere.” 

She snorted, “No. My husband fucked me awake, left me here, and then sent a text about how he’s gunna buy me shit at sephora that’s on my wishlist while he works on something for uncle David.” Judah tensed at the mention of it, “Has the plan started?” He thought it was best to change the subject to something else equally pressing. She rolled over in his arms, “Ilya and Maxim are taking care of it and yes, we’ve started. We deploy in a month and a half.” 

Judah and Gisela fell in and out of sleep for the next few hours. Then, they heard their phones go off. Gisela managed to find hers, “Hello? Ezra? Are you okay?” Gisela sat up slowly, “Hmmm yeah, I guess we can stop by. Is it important?” She smoothed her hand over Judah’s face lovingly, “Well, Baba’s Hebrew name is….I’m not sure.” Judah groaned, “Ofer something….” 

“Judah says Ofer but he’s not sure.” 

“Wait,” Judah hummed, “Fuck, I think that might be someone else’s name.” 

“Scratch that, he thinks it’s someone else’s name. We’ll be over soon. Need anything?” 

Ezra made some sort of noise that meant no but Gisela didn’t care, “I’ll bring a casserole or something.” 

Judah smiled, “Jeeeeeewish moooother.” 

She covered him with a pillow. 

* 

* 

* 

In the car Judah held his sister’s hand while he drove, “Aron Ofer? That sounds wrong.” He called Levi, “ABA!” He was so loud it made Gisela cringe. Levi was on bluetooth. His sigh was audible, “Why are you yelling?” Judah smiled and it was wicked and full of smart-ass cheekiness, “Because, you’re getting old, old man. What is Baba’s Hebrew name?” 

Levi sighed, “Aron.” 

Judah and Gisela exchanged looks, “Aron? Nothing else?” 

Levi supplemented, “Israel. Aron Israel ben Avraham v’Sarah.” 

The twins were silent and he knew why, “Your Baba isn’t very…..you know, he sucks sometimes. Names were only his thing when we had you. When he named himself it was like he just picked the most basic shit. I actually encouraged a second name and he took Israel so even though it’s the most basic of basic Jewish names I supported him in it. You know, now that you two are married that’s a teachable moment. Support your spouse because they’re gunna do some dumb shit but ask yourself, “Is this really gunna hurt us and matter in two years?” and if it isn’t, don’t have that fight. Just….randomly wrestle them to the floor and fuck with them.” 

Gisela snorted and Judah didn’t speak. 

Levi huffed, “Did you listen to anything I said?!” 

Judah waved his hand dismissively, “Baba is boring and hate fuck on the reg. Got it. Bye Aba. Don’t die. HaShem know’s you’re old enough.” He hung up and Gisela popped his arm, “Judah!” He grabbed her hand and kissed it, “He’s fine!” 

* 

* 

* 

* 

Cesare loved his husband. 

Ezra loved his husband. 

Cesare was going to kill his husband. 

Ezra was going to kill his husband. 

Their son had been born in the early morning without complication. It had been a sudden and smooth delivery. They called Nikko to check out their child. He’d arrived, smiled brightly ear to ear, “Mazel tov on your son, brother.” He kissed Ezra on both cheeks before falling asleep in their guest room. 

Now, they were fighting over names and how to proceed, “He’ll be christened!” Cesare had a death grip on a bible while Berkovitch stood behind Ezra like an uncomfortable house plant. “ Cesare, you said we could raise our children Jewish!” Cesare was blood red, “I NEVER SAID THAT!” Ezra’s rage was almost at a critical level, “I TOLD YOU THAT I WAS GOING TO RAISE MY CHILDREN JEWISH AND YOU KNOW THAT WAS A HARD LINE!” 

The yelling was so bad, the police were called. Berkovitch handed it well. He sat them down and then the doorbell rang. Berkovitch left to see who it was and found a very tired looking and confused Maxim. He led him up the stairs to find both new parents bloody and bruised. Maxim grabbed Cesare by the ear, “What is this? Are you thinking of the divorce? Let me tell you, it’s not easy loving the village likable idiot but divorce has never been option for me and so it is not for you. What are you fighting over? Is it food? I can bring you food.” 

Cesare’s face was shameful, “No, we had our son. We can’t agree on a name and he won’t let him be christened.” Maxim gawked, turning to Ezra, “He wants to christen his child. You should let him.” Ezra stood up, “We’re raising Jews in this house.” Maxim squared off with Ezra, “You are? Then why is your husband, the other father, not aware?” 

Nikko woke up due to the yelling, “Well, why don’t you let him grow up and if he wants to be baptised when he’s older then that’s his choice. Till then, raise him as a Jew.” 

Both looked at him. 

Cesare was livid, “WE CHRISTEN!” 

Berkovitch and Maxim eventually were engaged in the war of religion while Nikko tried to stay out of it but eventually, he had to side with his brother and fight for the Jewish cause of continuum. 

***** 

When Gisela and Judah arrived, they had no idea the horrors that had occurred hours before. Everyone was there and confused as to why they were there. Gisela held Judah’s hand and looked for Zev. He came in later with Aviva. He was holding Gaia and kissing her. She smiled hoping to have a baby with him one day that he could treat like that. 

They heard someone coming down the stairs and saw Ezra holding something swaddled, “Hey everyone.” 

His voice was hoarse and he looked horrible. Cesare was beside him with Nikko, Berkovitch, and Maxim following. Jean and Marco were confused but slowly they understood. 

It was a flurry as everyone passed the baby and congratulated the couple. Hours of visiting went on and food was called in. Eventually Jean and Marco, Levi and Eren, and the boys sat down. 

“We haven’t named him.” Ezra looked at his Aba and Baba. Eren shrugged, “The name speaks to you.” Levi nodded. Jean and Marco knew something else was up, “What else?” Cesare cleared his throat, ‘He wants to give him a Hebrew name and do all this Jewish stuff but I want him to be a Christian.” Jean and Marco both inhaled, “Well,” they both said it at the same time. 

Jean rubbed his hands together and reached for his first grandchild, “Right now, he’s not Jewish, right?” Levi’s hairs on the back of his neck rose, “He’s Jewish.” Nikko frowned. Mila and Lylah were with him. Mila spoke, “The way I see it, as an outsider, is that yes and no. He’s not from a Jewish womb so he’ll have to be “converted” in order for there to be no question of his Jewishness according to halacha (Law). However, he needs to be christened because Catholics do not do submersion for baptism. What I would suggest is simply filling out the Jewish birth certificate as you have, taking him to the mikvah with Rabbi to complete the conversion, have the christening out of respect for Cesare and his beliefs. This is short sighted but it helps him in whichever path he chooses to follow when he is older.” 

Nikko kissed Mila, “I love you and your beautiful mind. This is why women are more spiritual than men and don’t have to follow time constraint commandments.” Nikko turned to Ezra but he looked unhappy, “Cesare, I will let him be a part of those ceremonies but I am raising my child in a Jewish home. I am raising him to be a Jew. Not an interfaith conflicting ideology struggling person or whatever.” 

Cesare leaned forward, eyes red, “I’m a Christian. I want to raise him like I was.” Marco touched his son’s face, “We had a talk, do you remember?” Cesare did, ‘Yeah.” Jean kissed his grandchild, “Well, as your papa, I’m declaring that you both suck it the fuck up and raise him interfaith till _he_ decides what’s his path. It’s the only way. Maxim and Ilya have made it work well and I agree with Mila.” 

Marco smiled, “Mila is right. I’m fine with coming to all the awesome Jewish stuff and I’d love to see the family at Church. I’m sad mom and dad aren’t in the country right now to see their great-grandchild.” 

Berkovitch began writing up the certificates and made arrangements for the circumcision. Cesare had forgotten, “NO! HE’S NOT GETTING CIRCUMCISED!” Mila spoke soft words to him as Marco did too. Jean and Eren looked at their grandchild and thought about how strange the world was. 

Gio and Bianca came by, “His name?” 

They didn’t know. 

“I have an idea.” Cesare stroked their son’s face, “Ilan.” Ezra smiled, “I knew you’d pick that one. I like it. It’s Jewish.” He gave a small smile to his husband who slowly, very slowly, started to soften. Hanji had the birth certificate ready, “Middle name?” Cesare looked down at him, “Leon.” He kissed Ezra who thought the name was odd. Berkovitch asked about the Hebrew name. 

Ezra looked at Levi, “What is your Hebrew name, Aba?” No one knew. Levi swallowed, “It’s a horrid name. You’d not want it.” Eren looked at him, ‘I don’t even know. I don’t remember reading it on our Ketubah.” He was really impressed his Levi had hid it. But, then again, his Levi was Levi. He took his hand, “What is it?” 

David gave a reassuring look. He’d been silently listening. 

Levi rolled his eyes, “Levi Yekutiel Harel.” 

Judah and Gisela found that very interesting, “Why is that your name?” They asked in unison, unaware of how off putting that was to the group. 

He looked sad, “Yekutiel comes from the Ashkenazi Kuschel. My mother’s name was Kuschel and Harel was part of my uncle’s Hebrew name “Yehuda Akiva Harel.” My mother’s was “Kiva Bathsheba Yael.” Names are sometimes a mouthful. I’d not wish them on this child.” 

Ezra smiled, “I like Ilan Yekutiel Aron. I mean, so what if it’s a long name. It’s important and I’d love for my son to be like my aba and baba.” Cesare smiled, “Aba is pretty great.” Ezra looked at him, “And Baba….” Cesare mumbled, “Well, let’s just admit with a father like you that you’re probably cursing him with Baba thrown in there, too. Let’s agree that you two are a handful and Aba is level headed and not.” 

Another fight began that lasted till late in the night. 

Judah held Gaia while she slept, his lips pressed against her head. She slept soundly and Gisela gently touched her cheek, “So freakin’ cute.” Judah smiled proudly, “She’s beautiful. She’s so beautiful it makes me want to cry.” Gisela smirked, “If you and Aviva had another girl one day, what would you do if she looked like Aviva’s twin?” 

He groaned, “I would kiss her little fingers and toes and accept that my life was over.” Gisela giggled, “I hope I have pretty babies one day.” Zev and Aviva had drinks for them all. Zev smiled, “I heard babies.” Gisela opened her arms to him, “Hold me, Woelfchen.” 

Aviva kissed her daughter and then Judah. It was a lingering kiss, soft and sweet. She was affectionate in many ways lately that had him feeling spoiled and dream like. Sure, they got an argument in but it was once a day at the most. He had no idea how long the honeymoon phase would last. 

She was about to say something when Armin appeared with papers, “This is the agreed on terms in the Cesare Ezra case. We must all hold them to these terms and follow the strict itinerary. This is to ensure a smooth transition of power and lasting peace once the peace talks are finished.” Sure enough, legal work was all that could save the two new parents from destroying themselves. 

Ilan Leon or Ilan Yekutiel Aron was so loved and people wanted to put him on the right path so badly they were willing to fight for it. 

Armin touched Zev and said a blessing over him before leaving. Judah frowned, “I’d like a vati blessing.” Aviva took his hand, “So, Gisela and I were thinking about being more religiously observant.” Judah and Zev didn’t react negatively so they pressed on, “We took Kallah classes (Bridal Classes) before we got married and we’re thinking that maybe we should do niddah (*when a wife is on her period she is considered niddah and the wife and husband sleep in separate beds and do not touch physically during this time till she goes to the mikvah).” 

Judah and Zev both reacted horribly to this. Judah stood up, “No! No one does that.” Zev turned to Gisela, “I’ll die, Gisela. I have needs and they’re not even that perverse.” Nikko and Mila were going to leave with Lylah when Gisela perked up, “Nikko and Mila are doing it.” Levi had their bags for Lylah and overnights at the hospital, “What? What are you kids all doing?” 

Nikko and Mila looked at each other before Nikko answered, “We keep tahara t’mishpacha in mind in our home and that means we’re trying to keep the laws of niddah for a more shalom bayit (peaceful home between husband and wife) house. We’re becoming more religious now that we're back home and are able to do so without persecution. We’re not perfect by any means.” 

Levi’s face was harsh, “That’s fucking stupid. Why would you ever do that!?” He was clearly unnerved and offended by this and that confused his son, “Aba, it’s merely tradition.” Levi stared, “Do you not share a bed with your wife a week out of every month? Do you not touch? Don’t tell me you don’t flirt or that you fucking won’t pass things to each other. That rule is outdated and will not contribute to shalom bayit!” 

Zev and Judah looked to their wives, “DO YOU SEE?!” Levi looked at Mila, “Milaka,” his voice pleading, “you cannot be happy to be untouched and treated as if you are filthy?” She gave him a sympathetic look, “It hasn’t been that bad and we’re still working things out. Maybe we’ll keep doing it and maybe we wont but beloved _Khahm_ (Father in law in Hebrew), we are very happy and I am not oppressed or isolated from the love of your son. He is a most selfless and loving husband.” 

Her large, pleading eyes nearly had him consoled but Levi felt strongly about this, “I am disappointed in this and do not support you or any others in this needless observance but out of respect this is the last I’ll speak of my displeasure. Know only that I abhor this.” Everyone in the house downstairs had heard this and thought Levi must really be serious. He never spoke like that and to have said such to Mila was unthinkable. Erwin took him outside while Eren and Armin smoothed the waters. 

Judah nicked his chin up, “Come on, bitch. Let’s go home.” She scowled, “I wasn’t finished with this conversation.” He stared, “I know. Even if you were, I’d still have to listen to it rehashed over and over till you beat me into submission.” Zev pulled Gisela into his arms, “Same, let’s go home.” 

* 

* 

* 

They decided to try niddah but both men felt like they’d been taken hostage and tortured by their enemy wives. They loved them and thought they were the strongest, smartest women in the world. That’s why they were powerless when it came to them. Judah was playing video games when Aviva appeared. She had dried her hair after her shower. Practice had gone longer than usual and Gaia was with Mila. She wanted Lylah and Gaia to be close and Nikko loved his niece without bounds. 

She crawled into the bed slowly. He lowered his controler and turned the game off. She looked at him, “Hey, shit head.” He smirked, the look he gave her said it all, “Hey, baby girl.” She moved between his legs, stopping when her face was inches from his own, “I want something.” 

He raised an eyebrow, “What’s new?” 

“It’s really expensive and means a lot to me.” 

“Means a lot to you?” 

“Yeah, I’m weally weally scared to ask for it.” 

He hated that her ridiculous baby talk made him hard and weak, “You sound like a baby stripper. What do you want? Just tell me.” 

She settled into his arms and placed her head in the crook of his neck, “You’ll get it for me?” 

He held her tighter and whispered sincerely, softly, “Of course.” 

She looked up at him, “I want another baby.” 

He thought he was prepared but he wasn’t. He was more than freaked out about that prospect. “When?” She snuggled closer to him, “We missed my ovulation the week before our wedding so, when it comes up this time I want to try.” 

He swallowed. His stomach in knots, “Oh.” 

She smiled, “I can’t wait to have another little Ackermann baby.” 

He was thankful she couldn’t read his blood pressure right then. 

_Fuck me._

* 

* 

* 

Gisela and Aviva kept their husbands interested with sinful displays in their living room when they came home. Judah found watching with Zev to be comfortable but he noticed that Zev seemed far too at ease even for his liking. Gisela was currently on her back with Aviva between her legs. He merely walked over to her, looked down, and then sensually drug his thumb over her bottom lip before having her suck it. 

He made eye contact with Judah and gave him a look that made Judah very uncomfortable. He felt like it was already a situation where they were all going to hell and he didn’t have to make it worse by being weird. 

Zev was still affectionate, doting, and loving to him. He came home to gifts everyday and he even found him trying to learn how to make pasta from Sasha and Connie. He thought he was weird. 

Now, their wives were niddah. It was horrible. Both had been kicked out of their rooms and Judah felt Aviva’s ovulation drawing closer. Zev was notably depressed without Gisela to hold while reading. Judah felt bad for him. They also left the club in Alexi’s hands for two weeks to see if he could run it while they were gone. Lilly had ask that they not interfere. She wanted him to feel accomplished again. 

They were spending a lot of time together and it was really nice. 

Zev was on the end of the couch, concentrating on the TV when Judah had a question suddenly pop into his head, “How much does my sister cost?” 

Zev hummed and thought about it, “Well, she costs a lot, actually. I mean, I’m actually very proud that I can support her comfortably.” Judah looked over, “How much?” Zev shrugged, “Ehhh, I’d say she has an average upkeep of five to eight thousand a month. It can be much less and it can be much more. But, as I look at it, with my returns on Israel bonds, the many good investments I made while in business class at the SA (Smith Academy), the salary from the military, what you pay me at the club now, and my inheritance, I am able to take care of her and then some.” 

Judah thought about it for the first time. Zev had done really well in the Business classes but then again, he was a son of Erwin. He was full of surprises. He also kept his own books from the sound of it. That was wise. Zev had always been pretty smart underneath all the brazen Adonnis good looks and dashing smile. 

Warmth pooled in Judah’s lower stomach at the thought of that wry smile and mischievous glint in his eye. 

_What the fuck? Why did I just react that way?_

Zev’s fingers moved over the buttons, “Hey, what about my sister?” 

Judah cleared his throat, “She costs about ten grand a month. It’s normally more. She’s a Smith. Y’all cost more.” Zev nodded and added in a peculiar tone, “I can do that.” 

Silence filled the space between them but it was comfortable. Zev sat back, pulling at his shirt before he removed it. He pulled his sweatpants lower on his hips from where they had rode up after hours of couch sitting. Judah watched and felt shameful. 

Zev cleared his throat, “You know, we Jews used to have multiple wives.” 

Judah snorted, “We stopped that a long damn time ago. In the 40s it was officially outlawed in Israel because Ashkenazi Jews had stopped hundreds of years earliers but Mizrahi and some Sephardi Jews had not. Plus, levant marriages were advantageous for women in hard places. Where do you think the Muslims got it? We learned that many women meant many problems unless taking more wives meant helping solve their problems. Damn...men have treated women so damn bad. It makes me sad.” 

Zev looked at him, “But, the rule has always been you can only take wives that you can support and pay a dowry for.” 

Judah nodded, “Yeah,” 

Zev kept looking at him. He was pretty sure that the faint pink blush on Judah’s cheeks was just his imagination but still, “So, how much do you cost a month?” Judah held his breath for a moment, “I’d say, with how much my wife costs me, my total expenses are about sixteen thousand.” 

Zev kept staring. His voice was slow, heavy and deep, “So, you only cost about six thousand a month. That would mean that total, I’d have to be able to swing about thirty thousand a month for three and just lump on some miscellaneous expenses and mortgage….maybe like fifty thousand. Surely, that’s actually an inflated number. Now that everything’s consolidated….I can move some stuff around.” 

Judah looked over at him, “W-what are you talking about….you’re not responsible for our expenses.” 

Zev turned back to the game and Judah really was having a hard time understanding what he had meant. 

He looked at Zev, “We’re you planning on making me your third wife?” Zev nodded, “Yes. Haven’t you noticed all the gifts and clearly I want to be able to support you on my own if I had to. That’s just being a good husband.” 

The silence returned. 

Judah started to laugh in disbelief. Surely he was joking. 

Zev kept playing his game. 

Judah had to piss, so he got up to do so. Aviva and Gisela were working and Gaia was with Big Ass Tree Man and vati. They wanted to take her with them to Atlanta for some reason. He didn’t care because vati would keep his daughter safe. When he returned, he noted that Uzi and Asher were laying next to each other asleep on the back porch. He thought about letting them in but they were asleep and he was fine. 

He sat down on the couch and looked subtly at Zev, “You think that...Aviva and Gisela are gay?” Judah felt dumb even asking that. 

Zev snorted, “Gisela is bisexual and has been since the day she was born. Aviva, well, I think she only likes Gisela from what she’s said to me. I think it doesn’t matter. You know, labels and shit.” 

Judah looked at Zev, “What are you?” 

Zev shrugged, “I’d say I’m Ackermannsexual.” 

Judah swallowed, “Are you hitting on me?” 

Zev never looked away from the TV. His ton was sincere and empathetic, “Oh yes, very much so.” He said it so easily that Judah was still not sure what was happening. 

Judah panicked, “I don’t like men.” 

Zev shrugged, “Cool.” 

Judah’s thoughts were all over the place. Zev’s voice was calm, “But, am I just another guy to you or is there something else to our relationship?” Judah took a shallow breath, “I….um...I need to call someone.” 

He got up and left. Zev drank another beer, “He’s so fucking cute but he’s killing me.” 

Judah tried his sister but she was busy. 

He picked at the bedspread in the guest room. 

He needed an adult. 

He called Nikko. 

Because, let’s face it, their parents can’t keep secrets and Nikko was the most adult out of the bunch. He and his wife had brunches for the shul, kept the sabbath, saved lives, had a beautiful blossoming daughter, made their own bread, kept kosher, volunteered at the shul, donated money to projects local and global, and they wore clean underwear everyday. 

He couldn’t think of a better person. 

He called Nikko. 

His brother answered, “Beloved brother!” 

_Fuck, he’s so grown it’s so amazing. I wish I was perfect like him. Damn._

He explained in detail his situation and Nikko was glad his brother could not see his face. Mila was undressing slowly, teasing him as he sat at his home desk. They lived in a nice [house](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/d8/7d/1e/d87d1e3838b7fc26262652a1a0659efd.jpg) near Hanji and Oskar. He watched her as she stalked forward. Mila had just come from the mikvah, “Are you really open to my suggestions?” 

Judah bit his lip before answering, “I am.” 

Nikko debated what he should say, “Judah, in order to really know, just do what most people do. Do what you did when you wanted to know if you liked women.” 

Judah huffed, insulted, “I wanted a woman when I was a wee child and you know that. Speak plainly.” 

Nikko was staring at his wife’s breasts, “Kiss him. I’m sure that’s how we all figure it out. It sounds like you’re interested in at least that. Give it a fair chance. Be kind to yourself and Zev. Just be in the moment.” 

Judah’s palms were sweaty as he hung up. He returned slowly to the living room and sat down. Zev was still playing his game but Judah slowly moved across the middle cushions over to him. Zev put the controller down, turning his head to look at him, “Yes?” 

Judah swallowed, “Can I kiss you?” Zev’s eyes widened, “Yeah.” Judah was nervous and unsure how to proceed. He looked at Zev’s lips and shuffled closer. His knees were against Zev’s thigh and Zev’s head was in his hands, turned to face him. Judah leaned up, tilted Zev’s head and slowly moved to press his lips against his. 

He felt Zev tentatively kiss him back and they exchanged a few movements of their lips against one another’s. Judah pulled back, eyes shut, “Maybe one more time.” He leaned back down and this time Zev’s hands moved up his back and slowly pulled him into his lap. It was like that for a while. Zev slowly coaxed a still resistant and scared Judah into a slow exchange of kisses. 

Judah would pause, turn his head away, and then move back to kiss Zev. 

He made a small sound in the back of his throat as Zev moved his hand under the hem of his shirt and caressed his skin. He felt his fingers move along his chest and his other hand’s fingers moved in his hair. Judah was slowly dominated by Zev till he was panting. He broke away, “No more. I’m not...I’m busy.” 

Zev’s voice was still soft and coaxing but it was husky now and had a power behind it, “Busy? You’re not busy. We’re having such a nice time. Please, let’s keep having a nice time. Maybe, we could have a nicer time?” 

Judah struggled, “No, I-I….I don’t like men.” He tried to break out of his hold but Zev kept him there, “You don’t like men or you don’t like me?” Judah’s throat was so dry. He looked into Zev’s burning eyes and faltered. He’d never felt so overcome. He was a sputtering virgin again. 

“I don’t like either.” He tried to roll out of his arms but Zev smirked, “Ha, really? That’s a shame because your sister loves me. I make her feel so good she gets wet at the sight of me. I’ve always wondered if her soft spots were similar to yours. Those secret little places that only lovers know.” He licked up Judah’s neck behind his ear. He felt him shiver. 

He pinched his nipple and Judah’s pupils expanded. 

Judah knew he’d been caught when a small moan escaped his mouth. 

Judah started to fight in ernst. 

Zev pushed him down to the floor before the couch, reaching over where his belt from last night had been discarded to be touched up with his leather kit by his loving wife. He pinned Judah down, feeling like he was fighting a real lion. He managed to wrap the belt around his arms and tie him up. It was just his legs he needed to worry about. 

Zev moved his legs and opened him up to him. Judah thrashed, defiant look on his face as he cursed him and grew flushed. Zev moved over him, “You know, your sister likes it rough. She always wants more and harder but I’m reluctant. Loving someone and adoring them like I do her is sometimes an issue but you, my sinfully sweet demon, make it easy with your foul mouth and secret debased wants. I want to fuck you with my fat cock. I want to choke you, suck you, and make you beg like a little whore.” 

He kissed him and it was scorching. 

Judah moaned and groaned as Zev rolled his hips against his sex and kissed him with a serpent tongue. 

Judah was breathless and when he moved down to his neck to bite and suckle while his hands pinched his nipples, he knew he was hard and fooling no one. His pride was what was hurt. “Submissive looks so good on you, Kempfer.” 

He purred against his skin as he moved down his body. He pulled Judah’s pants down, watching his cock spring up. Zev looked at him with a smoldering look in his eyes, “I wonder if you make the same noises your sister makes when I eat her out? I love the taste of her sweet cunt. Is your cunt as sweet or is it sour?” His hand disappeared deeper into Judah’s sweatpants towards his opening. 

Judah clenched, face red, a sneer on it, but the excitement there told Zev that the future was alive with possibilities. “How about it, Judah? Do you want me to make you feel like your beloved sister? Because, I’ll suck your cock so good you’ll beg me to eat your sweet and sour little boy cunt.” 

Judah was committed to making no sound. He would not let him have the satisfaction. 

Zev knew this was the challenge. 

He licked up his shaft and suckeled the head. 

It was agonizing for Judah. 

His shame mixed with arousal and embarrassment along with surprise. He never wanted anyone to see him like this. Aviva had dominated him but it was less degrading than this. If he’d really wanted to then he could have overcome her. She’d never do this to him in the open. It wasn’t something she’d think of doing. 

But, here he was. He was bucking shamefully into his brother in law’s face and he was enjoying it. Zev was enjoying himself as he tortured Judah and managed to pull some embarrassingly satisfied and deep sounds of pleasure from his chest. 

The door to the garage opened and an echo of laughter was faintly heard. Zev pulled off of his cock leaving him hard and unspent. He smirked and covered Judah up. He took the belt off and walked towards the kitchen to get a glass of water. Judah was so uncomfortable and he felt so exposed and violated. He tried to calm himself and by the time Aviva saw him, she leaned over the couch to stick her tongue out at him, “I know you miss me but you should put that away till after niddah.” 

Aviva was excited and had informed him that after niddah his sperm count would be higher and they’d have a better chance waiting till her ovulation days to try for sex. He was less than thrilled. 

His sister tilted her head to the side and surveyed him. 

She said nothing but then he noticed bruises on her arm, “What happened?” 

She sighed, “I fainted and fell on some bars. It was perfect timing, really. Gio stopped by with food and saw me through the window in a private room. Gio’s so sweet.” She meant that and smiled at his memory, “So, I’m going to take a shower and then go to sleep. I’m pretty tired.” 

She moved around to the rug and leaned down to kiss him, “I love you.” He smiled, ‘I love you. I think I’ll take a nap with you if you don’t mind. It’s not niddah, right? Just for husbands?” Aviva frowned, “Meanie! I’m alone!” Zev went back to playing video games and Judah didn’t know how to approach him after what had happened. 

He looked at Zev for the first time and felt something there that made him wonder if he was more like his Aba than he thought. 

He decided to go see his Aba and talk to him tomorrow. 

His text was received and Levi made space in his schedule. 

He was _not_ going to tell a soul till then. He was probably going to keep this hidden in general. Aviva and Gisela didn’t need to know and he didn’t want them to know. 

_Fuck…….what have I gotten myself into?_


	182. The Beginning

“I wouldn’t say that.” The snow crunched beneath their feet. Their breaths were in and out in white smoke and their eyes burned. “We’re getting old.” Maxim scoffed, “We’re just fine. You’re fat.” Ilya stopped dead in his tracks, “Maxi!? I’m not fat!” Maxim smirked but he couldn’t see, “Fatter than you used to be.” Ilya gawked, “Net! I’m only four kilos bigger! It’s all muscle….” He said it in such a way that Maxim had to cover his mouth to hide his grin. 

“You eat nothing but chocolate.” Ilya said it with a humpf and started walking again. Maxim shrugged, “I have a fast metabolism. You know that. I have to eat chocolate to keep weight on! I’ve actually lost a few kilos!” Maxim was suddenly pushed down into the snow head first. He turned around, ready to scold when he saw it was their extra baggage who had finally caught up and had stumbled into him, “I’m so sorry, uncle Maxim!” 

Keita’s face was pale; flushed red around his nose, eyes, and cheeks. He looked sickly now. Keita had lost his golden glow. Nothing had been the same since they’d all read the books and now knew their parent’s shames and secrets. He was guilty over how he’d treated his family and even though Gisela and Zev were now running the show and preparing the world for the ultimate war he couldn’t shake the sadness. 

Maxim felt bad for him but oddly, Ilya wasn’t so forgiving. “He slams into people in Siberia, too. You sure do like to crash into things.” Ilya was cold towards him since Zev’s torture could be directly related to him. Maxim was all for rage and revenge but even he had tried to convince Ilya it wasn’t worth it and he’d gotten the point across well enough already. “Come on, ox.” He slapped the pack on Keita and they moved on. 

Maxim could smell the wood and dirt of the settlement up ahead. Armin and Erwin had asked them not to go. They’d pleaded. Armin’s eyes had swam with tears, “If you go and we can’t get to you then what? Our kids just got back from South America. It’s just getting harder and harder to handle the titans.” 

Zombie like titans had appeared in packs across the country and abroad. They were normal people, affected by the virus, that were docile when non infected humans were not around but as soon as they sensed them they would swarm and try to kill them and eat them. Armin was disgusted by them and so were the others. What Maxim and Ilya had with them was hope that their tribes would never fall prey to that. 

Nikko and Mila had worked tirelessly with Hanji and Oskar for months on this new vaccine. They needed to secure their allies and put pressure on their enemies. “Do you think that Zev and Gisela are somewhere right now, making choices and kicking ass?” Maxim looked at Ilya and huffed, “I think their parents are.” 

Erwin and Armin were supposedly on their way to Denmark. 

While Gisela and Zev were also supposedly about to take another vacation, despite having returned just a month and half ago from their honeymoon, the family said nothing to them. So what if they wanted a short vacation? Maybe Judah was smothering them? Ilya had a thought, “What if Judah is smothering them?” Maxim laughed shortly, “I had the same thought. I think he should lie with White Prince and make his home more….shalom bayit….” Ilya kissed him, “I love when you come over to my side.” 

Maxim pushed him away roughly, “Jews have good concepts, Ilya.” They were almost upon the camp when Maxim stopped, “It hasn’t changed much. The others didn’t return.” 

Ilya knew Maxim had hoped Daniel would have brought them back under one tent. 

It did not seem that this chasm could be crossed. 

Keita noticed how somber their moods had turned. They had been giddy almost up to this point. Ilya was still cold to him but Maxim had told him a rare story of their coming over from Siberia. While they were a part of the book, they were not as well written about in regards to their early years. Maxim said it was just too hard to talk about, even with Marco. 

Keita carried the bags up to the fence where Maxim and Ilya stopped. A man with a gun whistled and called over other men. Soon, the village was alive with talk of Maxim and Ilya’s return. They were welcomed like kings. Ketia noted all of the animals, looms, ovens, and all the other things that made a village a village. 

He walked around in a daze. His eyes stung from the cold and the snow under his feet mixed with the pitch black dirt. He felt a tug on his shirt, “Carry me on your shoulders, cousin.” A little boy missing one of his front teeth looked up at him. Keita didn’t know why he’d picked him but there were other children staring. 

“What’s your name?” 

“Shalem.” 

“Shalem. And why ask me? You do not know me.” 

“Because you are so tall and I have never seen anyone with eyes like yours.” 

Keita felt himself soften. He was a likable boy. He lifted him up, “Little cousin, you will tell me all you know of this village and the people in it. If you do this, I’ll carry you around a few more times.” Shalem told him all about the cows that make the most milk, the baker’s who had a new son, the relatives that were missing because they went to America, and then the gossip, “Many girls are ready to marry. Are you Jewish?” 

Keita hummed in the affirmative but hoped the boy would leave him alone. He didn’t. 

“Are you married?” 

Keita let him down when they were back in the square, “No. I’m not.” 

“There are lots of girls here. Cousins who are strong and will make great mothers and wives. Women here are leaders and have control over family. You can marry whoever you want and do well. Well, except for the _Zaytiker_ (Outsider). You need to only make friends with her. She's the prettiest but my father says that's because she's the most dangerous.” Keita didn't understand what he was talking about. Children often rambled. 

He saw Maxim motion for him to come inside of a cabin. He did so but Shalem was his shadow. He didn't mind and expected to lose him when he was assigned duties. They had come to help and provide services where needed. 

* 

* 

* 

Keita tilled the soil, baked bread, made rounds, fetched water, and then the rabbi saw he was gifted as a leader and placed him with the boys of the village in their school. The girls were educated separate right now since many were at ages that didn't line up with the boys well. Next year they would integrate again. 

Keita was seen as a giant. He was respected but often found to be shrewd and not very humorous until jokes had been explained. He felt his uncles watching and the pressure mounted as he was expected to sit with them at night while they discussed the vaccine and what they wanted to do ultimately. 

A man named Gad was in charge while they were gone all these years, “You want to combine the tribes again!? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND!? In America, is it that simple to forget the past and the fact that sides were taken and choices made!?” Gad was aged and thin. He looked near death and his face was scarred from burns. 

Maxim leaned forward, “I am saying that we need to vaccinate all of the members and they are members of the tribe as a whole.” 

Gad gave him a look of pity that a father gave a child that knew nothing of the world, “They are no longer members. They have disgraced themselves.” 

Ilya chewed the inside of his cheek. When he spoke, it was heavy and prophetic, “Where are the men of my house?” 

Gad scoffed, “Dead or dying, just like the rest.” 

A young woman entered. She had raven black hair, “I am of the men of your house and I say we are few but strong.” She had a look about her that was different than any of those Maxim remembered being from Ilya’s kin. Maxim stood, “What is your lineage?” 

She had green eyes, piercing like Ilya’s, “My father was Jacob. He was the son of Isaac. Isaac was your husband’s third cousin. I am the product of a night with a bottle of vodka and no other distractions. Jacob did not want any other children. I was forgotten.” 

Maxim knew the names, “And what do they call you? Dinah?” He said it as a joke but she smiled wickedly, “I am Dinah.” Ilya hummed, “Then you are my fifth cousin? You are my children’s age and their sixth cousin. Here, meet one. This is Keita. He is of our tribe in America. There is no blood but that’s best. He is a snake.” 

Maxim’s anger flared, “Idiot! Don’t say such things!” He looked harshly at Ilya, “He is a fine boy. Dinah, he is a fine boy.” Maxim composed himself but noted how shamed Keita looked. He knew Keita was guilty. He just couldn’t pass judgement on him as harshly as God or Ilya. 

Dinah looked at Maxim, “Daniel’s tribe allows the girls to learn in their school house during the harsh winters while the boys learn here. There are aunts that spend time with them that did not come here. I can take you tomorrow on my way. But, only you two.” Maxim shook his head, “Keita comes with us. We are his guardians.” 

She looked at the handsome man, “Is he not a grown man?” 

Keita sneered at the accusation he was anything but. 

Maxim smirked, “He’s only half grown to me. I changed his diapers and put him down for naps while I was barely making heads or tails of the American beast.” 

Keita’s embarrassment grew. 

Dinah’s eyes were piercing, “Shalem rode your shoulders today.” 

Keita nodded, ‘Yes ma’am.” 

He was older than her but she was formidable. 

“He can come.” 

* 

* 

* 

A brisk walk and sudden chill of the lungs caused Armin to wheeze, “I hate being sick.” They reached the house, white stucco and exposed brick. Armin sighed while Erwin rubbed his back, “Here we begin.” Armin nodded and the opened the fence door to walk down the sidewalk up to the large red doors. 

* 

* 

* 

Inside of the house, the fire warmed their bones and made their clothes uncomfortable from drying sweat, “I think it’s nice that you’ve brought Erwin this time.” One Eye sat in a chair across from them. He smiled, rolling his white dress shirt sleeves up to his elbows, “Erwin, would you help me in the kitchen?” 

Armin started to get up but his body was feverish. One Eye smiled kindly and walked over to him, “Dear Armin, please, lay down on the bed in the guest room. I’ll speak with you after you’ve rested and ate supper. It’s not good to push your body like you are.” 

Erwin kissed him, ‘I agree. You’re really sick.” 

Armin stroked his face, “You just want to be rid of me and my sickness.” 

Erwin chuckled deep in his chest, “Yes, and I also believe in what I’ve already stated.” 

Armin closed his eyes in his chair. He never noticed how Erwin lovingly, protectively, placed him in the bed before entering into a very dangerous game with One Eye. 

He ran his kitchen like a well oiled machine, “I like cooking. It takes the pressures of the world and makes them into manageable things. It makes my pressures tangible and I imagine them like the very vegetables I slice here before you.” His cuts on the board echoed. Erwin washed his hands after prepping the vegetables. 

Erwin looked at him, “I thought you were a vegetarian.” 

One Eye smirked, “Nikko, is he still one?” 

Erwin didn’t like discussing children. 

He didn’t answer and One Eye took it as a yes. “Your sons, what do they do?” Erwin was silent still. He went to touch the meat but One Eye placed a hand on his shoulder, “I ask only because I genuinely enjoyed them. I am not looking at them and thus, I’d like to hear only the words of a proud father.” 

Erwin decided to play the game, “You’re a father, too.” 

He turned to face him, “A daughter and a wife.” 

One Eye was impressed. This was their house but they were away on vacation. He had removed their pictures and things before they came. “How did you know?” He was curious. Erwin Smith was a king. He was no pawn. 

“Thanksgiving.” 

One Eye paused, “I don’t follow.” He didn’t and that started to unnerve him. Erwin cleared his throat. He was handsome, strong, intimidating. One Eye admired the weathered Commander Smith. 

Erwin’s words were strong, “What does your wife make?” He paused, “I don’t have a wife.” He imitated a young Nikko’s reply, “Whatever you say, sir.” 

One Eye had forgotten, “I’m sorry, but are you really holding what a child said nearly thirty years ago as truth?” 

Erwin smiled. It promised only pain, “Nikko is and has always been a remarkable man. My son’s are similar. Yoni is a lawyer and took on President Reiss after he sent our country into a tailspin of racist legislature. Tuvia is a designer. I see his pieces around your home.” Erwin let the words linger. This was a fact that had perplexed both Armin and he. 

“And Zev?” 

He looked at him, “Zev is married and a general in the army fighting for the world to be free of the Reiss family. He is a leader and a prince.” 

The food was packed into the oven and prepared in silence till it was simply time to wait. “Erwin, I have a gift for your daughter. She married Judah, right? The twin of Gisela.” Erwin nodded, “She did. We were very happy for her simcha.” 

One Eye smirked, “But, were you really? The boy has a history.” 

Erwin put his hands together, “Michael, what are you talking about? Of course, he has a history. I know all about it. I love him.” 

Michael smiled, “You love him?” 

Erwin became tense, “I love him more than words. He is a most beloved son to me. When he is sensitive and sweet, he is most agreeable and his work ethic is unmatched. He’s never had an issue going to work and he is relatively selfmade. I admire a man like him. He is the ghost of the Levi I met all those years ago and for that very reason I adore him.” 

Armin had awoke and joined them. The food was ready to be served and Michael laid their plates out and arranged the food on them. The [dining ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/15/51/bd/1551bd7107e041b766d676a3aea1ee4e.jpg)area had another kitchen. It was very modern yet rustic. Armin looked down at the meat on the plate. He turned to Erwin and gave him a look. Michael went to fetch wine. Armin’s voice was barely over a whisper, “Don’t eat the meat.” 

Erwin looked at it, “Why?” 

Armin swallowed, ‘He doesn’t eat meat, Erwin.” 

Erwin’s eyes narrowed and his brow furrowed, “I don’t understand.” 

Armin gave his hand a squeeze, “You will.” 

Armin’s chest buzzed strangely. 

Michael returned and Armin looked up at him, “I need the numbers. We’ve agreed to this. I need the numbers to compare with the lists.” 

Armin removed a large stack of folded papers from his sweater, “This list of names are the names of the Reiss we need to remove.” 

There was silence as Michael ate his salad. Erwin grew annoyed. “Where are the papers?” Michael looked at them, “Let’s eat and then finish the conversation.” 

Armin never touched the meat and nor did Erwin. Michael ate his share and then had them retire to his study. 

Upon his desk lay a set of papers inside of of an envelope. Armin sat down, “There is something amiss here.” Michael smiled, “Why do you say that?” Armin bit the inside of his cheek before answering, “You’re far too relaxed.” Michael laughed, “True. I’ve found someone to take over most of the workings of the Wall for me. He’s still training but he’s a good boy and he understands that if I am killed then it is his choice what happens with the group.” 

Armin seemed unnerved by his smugness, “Ha, so this boy is talented?” 

Michael’s gaze was proud, smug, content, and delighted, “Oh yes, he is.” 

Armin reached for the papers and scanned them over. After a while he passed them to Erwin. 

“Are the numbers there?” 

Michael said the words knowing that if they were, things were on their way to the end. 

Erwin nodded, “They are. Now, we just need to get names, addresses, and other information. I’m not sure how we’re going to do it but we’re going to do it.” 

Armin and Erwin spent the next few hours talking with Michael about the current war and how it was going to be fought. The Wall was taking a side in not taking a side. They were going to fight the Reiss despite being among their ethnic numbers. 

Erwin cut to the chase, “We keep hearing about the Soldiers. What can you tell us about them?” Michael’s face was grim, “They’re elite and they give me problems. In fact, Abulafia couldn’t control them or stand them either.” 

Armin crossed his arms, “Who runs them?” 

Michael’s brow furrowed, “It was three but now only two. The third is a shadow. I only know they’re not in the same place and they train their group in desolate places. They’re a cult. In the past, I heard they saw themselves as freedom fighters. They hate the Reiss family and see their blood as being evil.” 

Erwin snorted, “Aren't they Reiss?” 

Michael thought about his answer, “Well, most of them normally, no. However, their three leaders are normally Reiss. They don’t accept it. They hate it. They loathe it. But, that’s why the Reiss tolerate them and keep them in their lives.” 

He took a sip of his tea, “A few Reiss have wandered in on my work lately. I think they’re scared and know that the time is here. The titans are ready to do their bidding but only in the areas that your children haven’t reached and secured yet. I’d say that you’re probably already getting a foothold in Russia.” 

Armin nodded, “We’re working on bringing the fronts down to two. I don’t really think we should fight a multifront war but once we take the Reiss out of positions of power, governments will be easier to sway to our side and to take out of the fighting. Our goal is simple: remove as many players from the field and make a strong alliance.” 

Michael nodded, “I look forward to our future correspondence.” 

They spoke further until Erwin checked the time, “We need to go. Our plane can be ready whenever but we really want to return to our grandchildren.” He smiled brightly and Armin gave him a loving look, “I want to swim!” 

Erwin’s hand rose to Armin’s cheek, “Thank you for the hospitality. You have a nice home and your information is good and prompt.” He was content to leave but, “Wait, we never finished our previous conversation.” 

Michael put his hands together and made a face of remembering, “Oh, Judah. Well, I was merely saying I think it is interesting you trust him around your daughter. I understand you love him and you made that very clear. He interests me very much and I find that there is only one Judah in every generation.” He seemed to really mean that and there was an inspired smirk in the corner of his mouth, “However, his obsession with your daughter could be the best thing for her or the worst.” 

Armin stirred and Michael held his hand up, “Wait, I know how much you love him. You’ve spoken at length about him and praised him to me on your trips here. In fact, I had to question if you were his mother.” He chuckled and Erwin felt shameful. He loved Judah immensely but Armin has such a deep love for him and a connection that transcended words. He saw him not just as another son, but almost how Mila was to Levi. 

Armin seemed truly upset, ‘Tell me what you know.” 

Michael pulled out a large manila envelope, “Well, it’s not a secret he’s a serial killer.” Armin’s stomach clenched and Erwin looked winded. Michael stopped suddenly, “It appears from your reactions that it is. Well, while he and Gisela are feared for their interrogation methods and they’ve both killed for varied reasons, Judah has two main…..specialties.” 

He explained that he tended to take victims that were dangerous or in some ways criminals. People that hurt animals, hurt women, hurt people, abused others. He was the worst mix of Levi and Eren’s “justice” complex. 

Michael had pictures and though they were upsetting, Armin and Erwin were able to look past it. They were no saints. “What else?” Armin’s voice wavered. Michael laid out pictures of dead women, “He started to change strangely while stationed overseas. Wherever he went he found a woman.” 

Erwin was confused, “I’m not exactly sure, but I believe he was with my daughter.” Armin touched his arm, “They were not exclusive till he came back after the incident. I don’t know what the incident was. He’d never talk about it and still hasn’t.” Michael pointed at the pictures, “You see it, don’t you? All the girls look like your daughter. Sure, some of them less so but there are the lips. It’s always the lips and the small nose and neck. He was specifically targeting women who looked like Aviva.” 

Erwin slowly put the photos back into the envelope and closed his eyes. 

Armin was shaking. 

Michael sighed, “He still has a lot of potential.” 

* 

* 

* 

Armin and Erwin sat down on the plane. Armin was still hot and feverish. He took some medicine from the apothecary on the way to the airport and closed his eyes. Erwin took his hand, “Why couldn’t we eat the meat?” 

Armin’s sigh escaped between his lips in a low hiss, “Because, he only eats people. Reiss members that get too close. He kills them and eats them. I found out a few years ago. It was horrible and it disturbs me greatly.” 

Erwin vomited into the bag near his chair. 

Armin opened his eyes, “I know. But, now I’m worried about something else.” 

Erwin knew Armin expected him to say horrible things about Judah. Erwin felt bad for having become that person. He couldn’t believe he’d become someone that was expected to be against one of Levi’s children. Levi was his partner and his children were his own. Now, his new found sense of self was overshadowed by his fear for his daughter. 

* 

* 

* 

Keita looked at Dinah as she led them through the woods. Shalem had mentioned a Zatikyer. Dinah fit the description. She was beautiful, strange, and dangerous. He wondered how she became known as that here since this was her home. Maxim and Ilya pushed forward as Shalem tried to come with them. A man grabbed him and he figured he was his father. 

Ilya saw the camp and noted it was not as well functioning. However…. 

“Their numbers are larger.” 

Ilya could only nod at Maxim’s words. It was over crowded and seemed to be teaming with children. Ilya took Maxim’s hand and checked the strap on the bag of vaccines he’d brought in good faith. There was a moment when Dinah hesitated as if she thought there was danger. Maxim noted the shift in her footing. A man approached, “Dinah, have you come to stir up trouble?” 

She bristled, “Only to teach.” 

The man rolled his eyes, “Female rabbis have no place here.” 

Keita inhaled sharply. That made sense now. She was a formidable woman and they were old school in this village. Maxim raised his hand, “I need to speak with Daniel.” Dinah turned around, “Daniel is dead. You must speak with his successor.” Maxim’s footsteps stopped, “He is dead? Who is his successor?” 

She gave a pointed look, “His cousin, Issa.” Ilya sighed, “I hated him.” 

Ilya and Maxim were escorted to the tent where Issa ran affairs for the day. Issa scowled at Ilya but Keita could tell there was a sincere fear and hatred of Maxim. The tense exchange ended in yells and Dinah left to teach the girls at the school. More shouting led to an actual fight. 

Keita wished the fight had begun sooner because things became much more manageable afterwards. 

“We need to know that these vaccines are actually kosher and going to help us survive. I want our rabbi to look over it and also,” he paused and this wasn’t even the end of his demands but what Maxim and Ilya heard next made their skin prickle, “we want the vaccines first.” He kept talking but Maxim couldn’t get over the audacity. Keita was sent out of the tent after this. 

Ilya began, “We will administer the vaccines between the camps. That’s where everyone will meet. The war is coming and the king needs you all. This is our time to take back our lives and our future. It had been dark so far but now the light is on the horizon.” Issa scoffed and spat, “That’s nothing but a dream. We will die here in the mud and shit, forgotten. There is no future for the men with iron teeth.” 

Maxim and Ilya had never missed Daniel more. While he had been hard, he had been optimistic. With Issa as the leader of this tribe, defeatism would run rampant and nothing would be accomplished. Ilya took Maxim’s hand and Issa sneered, “You disgrace the Creator and Siberia.” 

How would they make this happen? 

When they left, it was lunch time and Ilya kissed Maxim’s hand. Maxim wondered where Keita was but he also wanted to talk with Ilya about something he’d thought of in the tent. Ilya, however, was already on the same page, “We have to kill him and replace him with someone optimistic.” Maxim started to chuckle, “I love you.” Ilya kissed him, “Let’s find our ward.” 

Keita had wandered around till he heard Dinah’s voice. It echoed in what must be a school yard. He walked closer and saw a group of girls attempting to make wedding dresses from old cloth. He had heard of these mock weddings but as a boy, he’d never seen one. He was about to leave till he saw her. 

Jaffa was inside of a circle of girls who were vying for her attention. He had not seen Jaffa in months. She’d taken a sabbatical and had hinted she may not return. Seeing her here was shocking. It also made him acutely aware he missed her more than he’d known. She had been with him for years and after meeting her father at dinner she’d never left his mind. 

Why was Jaffa here? 

He stepped forward, forgetting that men were not really allowed to, and couldn’t help but call out to her, “Jaffa! Jaffa!” 

Her head whipped to the side and the girls became silent. He walked up, face red, “Jaffa, why are you here?” She looked stunned to see him, her voice was harsh and outraged, “Why am I? Why are you?!” He winced and she gave him an even more concerned look, “You look ill!” 

He inhaled, “I’m with my uncles.” He was ill. She really hit the nail on the head and it made him cower before her. 

She touched his face and the girls gasped. They were all assumed to be shomer negiah (No physical contact with the opposite sex) in the future and thought their teacher was, too. 

She looked at his features, “You’ve lost weight, your color is horrible, what’s going on with this grey hair!” She ripped the silver strand from behind his ear and he yelped. She still looked annoyed but concerned, “Who are your uncles?!” 

He opened his mouth, upset that this was going so poorly, “Maxim Aristov and Ilya Nabatov.” She looked surprised, “Really? By blood?!” He shook his head, “No, I’ve merely known them my entire life. We’re in a tribe, basically.” She stared and he felt so uncomfortable as the silence grew. 

A girl pulled on her coat, “Jaffa, are we going to do the wedding?” Jaffa snapped out of it. She put her hand up and looked towards the sun, “It’s lunch time. We need to work on our dress. I suppose we can eat at at the same time.” One of the girls moved behind her legs, “Is he eating with us?” She frowned, “I don’t know.” She thought about it and looked at him, “You should eat with us.” He nodded, “But, only if it won’t be a problem.” 

She kept glaring at him, “Honestly, you need to eat in general and if I’m around then I’ll make sure you do. Come on.” 

He followed her and noted how beautiful her hair looked in the sunlight. 

* 

* 

* 

Inside of the makeshift school, the girls ate while Dinah studied. She was the only female rabbi and the girls were both afraid of her and inspired. She said it was okay for him to come inside because he was of her house. 

Keita felt horrible. Ever since Gisela’s wedding when he received the worst news he’d not been able to shake his fatigue. He turned to Jaffa as she ate, “Why didn’t you come back?” 

Jaffa’s spoon hovered over her bowl, “Because, I’m needed here and I’m trying to impress a shaddchen. I want to marry from my tribe and I want to protect it. Israel is there and I can always go back.” 

He looked down at the table, “You want to marry here and stay here?” She ate before speaking again, “It became clear to me that if I was here I could do more than I was. I was just a bodyguard and secretary. I love Israel. It saved my parent’s lives and it has given me so much. But, here, my people need me. I wanted to see house of my grandmother again. I wanted to make my father proud by marrying a man like him and of his village. It’s important to me that I live a life where I carry on in me all that my parents fought for and risked so much for.” 

She was quite, “I am a woman with iron teeth and I think it’s important to marry a man with iron teeth. Plus, who is going to prepare these girls for the future? You’ve noticed the insular nature of this place.” He cleared his throat, “I understand but…” Keita didn't know how to express this, “I need you in Israel. You're a critical part in our plans.” 

She frowned, “I’m a critical part? Ha! You’re attempt at lying is transparent as usual.” He bristled, “I do not lie.” She raised an eyebrow, “You do lie. It may be for the sake of the organization but you do lie. I’ve never known you to lie about something so ridiculous as me being important or someone else being important when they are not. That’s a change. I prefer the truthful Keita that is open and grumpy and particular to someone who wants to please someone or save their feelings.” 

Jaffa was always calling him out on his shit. She’d never spared him. All he could think of was how at ease they were together and how she put up with him. “I’m sorry.” She looked suspicious, “For what?” He couldn’t look at her, “For always being so difficult to work with.” She felt defensive, “I never complained.” That was true. She always submitted her end of the month reports about him and nothing inside was either negative, positive, or personal. 

One of the girls started to cry and Jaffa stood, “Miri?” The girl had pricked herself with the needle. None of them were that experienced. Keita stood up, “Are you making many little dresses?” Jaffa nodded, “But, we don’t really have enough material.” Keita dug in his bag. He pulled out some white silky material, “What if we use this and make one big dress?” 

Jaffa looked at him in total confusion, “Do you just carry material around?” 

The girls spoke quickly in hushed whispers. They all decided that Jaffa should wear the dress they made. Keita sat down, “I’ll make the bodice, you girls can make the bottom. I’ll show you all how to make ruffles.” Keita explained ruffle making without much flourish. Nonetheless, the girls picked up quickly and he made sure to give each girl attention. 

He sat down, taking out a sewing kit and began thinking. He turned to Jaffa and she waited for him to speak. Instead, his hands began cutting and pinning. She was a little off put by his silence but he wasn't a talker when he was working. In fact, this was the most...well, what would she call this? This was the most un-Keita like Keita she’d ever seen. 

He was weak, sick, tired, insecure, submissive, and he seemed to not know where he belonged. Where was the confidant man she knew? Where was Keita Lavie, the most feared field sergeant and general? He was known for revenge and adhered to a strict code of socially acceptable behavior. He was a man people noticed and he was always focused and confident in his abilities. 

After an hour he sat with the girls and attached their bottom. Jaffa looked outside of the schoolhouse at the very man she’d hoped the schaddchen would put her with. Issa’s grandson Elijah was handsome, loyal, and a wonderful man with iron teeth. He was sensitive, strong, and her father liked him or so she thought. Her mother would need to meet him for the final approval unless they wanted a quick engagement. 

Jaffa waved at him shyly and he returned it. He then seemed to spook almost and left. She didn’t really understand but it was very cold outside. 

Her dress was pulled on by Atara, “Put it on, Miss Meyer!” Jaffa stood and Keita held it up, “Here you are.” She took the dress and though the bottom was not perfect, the top was and it was truly gorgeous. She stared at the detail before she heard the door close. He’d left for her to change and finish her class. 

Dinah had watched everything. 

* 

* 

* 

Ilya was staring at the people in the village when Maxim bent down to whisper in his ear, “Issa has a grandson.” Ilya clicked his tongue behind his teeth, “Don’t even. We need someone we really know and can count on.” But, they didn't have to think very long before a man appeared, “My name is Dovid. I am Daniel’s son.” He looked just like his father. Maxim extended his hand, “I’m Maxim and this is Ilya.” 

Dovid smiled, “I know. So, I guess you think my father is dead?” Ilya couldn’t hide his excitement at the thought he was not, “Is he?” Dovid shook his head, “No, the Reiss took him.” Ilya’s smile failed, “He’s as good as dead.” Dovid smirked, “You would think. But, he’s managed to escape and my mother received word from a man of your house, Maxim. Christoph came back to visit the other camp and used Dinah to smuggle word in. Dinah is preparing for him to come back and confront Issa.” 

Maxim and Ilya liked the sound of all of that, “But, why are you telling us this?” Dovid nicked his head to the left, ‘Come to my cabin. We will arrange everything you want in detail. We will make sure the king has a healthy army.” 

* 

* 

* 

Maxim and Ilya saw Keita outside walking around while in Dovid’s house. They brought him inside and offered him lunch, “No, I’m not hungry. May I have coffee or tea?” Dovid’s wife, Magda, was very pretty and kind. She had red hair like Ilya and blue eyes, “Of course, but you should eat something soon. You tell me and I’ll make it.” Maxim reached over to pinch him, “You didn’t eat breakfast.” 

Ilya was staring, “If you’re holding out for some bourgeois food, you’ll die.” Keita grimaced at his words, “No, I’m just not hungry.” Maxim looked at Ilya with a concerned and sympathetic look, “He’s sick.” Ilya seemed slightly moved, “It’s a cold.” Keita squirmed, “Yeah, just a cold. I got it before I came.” Maxim still looked concerned, “Save your strength. We’ll need you to help administer the vaccines.” Keita perked up, “It was approved?” 

Ilya shrugged, “Not yet. We have a plan. We have a secret.” He smirked and Maxim chuckled, “Issa is about to the be dethroned or he will be killed. We decided to do it, but then Dovid said his father returns to us. He’s not dead.” Keita thought about Dinah, “But, Dinah?” Dovid smiled, “Is in on it.” Keita smiled, “Well, once we get the vaccines out we can move on to the next stage.” 

Dovid nodded, “The Soldiers?” 

Maxim sighed, “Yes, we need to find out who they are and where they are located predominantly.” Maxim pulled out his cell phone, “I’ll need to talk to Armin and Erwin about that.” Ilya looked at him, “Are they back from Denmark?” Maxim nodded, “Yes, they are. The numbers line up.” 

They passed the time until two men appeared. One was wearing a hooded coat and the other’s face was covered by a scarf. 

When Maxim and Ilya stood, Keita knew he should too. It’s just that he was really tired and lost his balance, knocking his mug off the table and a few other things as he nearly tipped the table leaning on it so suddenly. Magda ran over to clean up and he begged forgiveness. 

Ilya’s glare burned him, “Could you attempt to not make it all about you, idiot?” Maxim popped him, ‘STOP!” 

“ILYA! COUSIN!” Zvi moved forward. His smile was so much like Ilya’s that both men were like mirrors. “Zvi! I cannot believe that you’re here with me!” Zvi laughed loudly and hugged Ilya more. Keita remembered his dinner with the man but he doubted he would remember him. 

“Mr. Lavie, what a surprise!” Zvi extended his hand to shake it. He took the man's hand, “It's a pleasure to see you again.” Zvi appraised him, “Jaffa and I have been here for almost four months. How have you managed?” Keita frowned suddenly. The question really hit him out of nowhere, “Poorly.” 

Ilya and Maxim both exchanged looks. Keita was never like that. He was confident like his father and like his mother he never showed weakness. Zvi raised an eyebrow, “I took you for a very independant person who didn’t need anyone.” Keita didn’t know what to say, “I am and Jaffa lets me be that way in peace.” 

Daniel cleared his throat, “Hello, I’m not trying to interrupt but we have a village to discuss.” Maxim and Ilya smiled but they felt unsure about what was going to happen. The last time they had met things were not so positive. Daniel shook his head, “No, I know now that we must come together and bend our ways slightly.” 

Maxim and Ilya arranged for a meeting with Gad who had lost teeth since they left him. He was not thrilled to be out in general after dinner but he was happy to see Daniel alive. “At least if Daniel rules the other village there is hope they won’t destroy themselves.” Daniel smiled, “Thank you for that.” Maxim’s voice was deep and commanding, “We’re going to administer the vaccine, check that it is working, and then we are going to come together and await instructions. We have a number of all the Reiss in the world. We have been instructed that in our area, we will be the first wave.” 

Ilya inhaled, “We have to make an impression for the grand plan to work.” Daniel and Gad looked serious, “What plan is that?” Keita cleared his throat thinking of what Gisela had told him. He'd then began packing. 

He wanted to be away from her. 

Zev did not speak to him nor acknowledge him unless he had to. Only in the group did he keep up niceties. But, the nights of drinking, cooking, debating, and personal training were over. Their friendship was dead, their familial relationship almost that of a warring clan. Zev had told Gisela that he would not keep his children from being friends with Keita’s but that he would never suffer one to marry another. 

Gisela was cautious and more than disappointed. Her reproach had been so upsetting he’d not eaten or slept for almost a week afterwards. He thought that was what had led him here. She had cursed him and this was his fate. 

He deserved it. 

Maxim and Ilya filled the silence with talk of bringing the clan together again and taking inventory. Daniel shifted in his seat. 

”We will take the vaccine, we will fight for the king, but we cannot force the two villages together physically. They do not want to live by our customs and that is fine. We do not wish to live by their customs. Gad and I have always had an easy ability to talk among each other. It was only in my absence that things became as strained as they are now. I see Issa has not done much.” 

Ilya was curious, “How long were you gone?” Daniel grimaced, “Ten years.” Maxim coughed from the cold air before speaking, “What happened?” Daniel’s eyes were cloudy and far away, “Torture and blood. I wish not to speak about the details. I spent time in a Reiss controlled jail and I was forced to sleep with Reiss women. Funny enough, I had a vasectomy after my wife and I were content with our number children. It was also not wise for her health to have another child according to the doctor.” 

They ate dinner together, spoke more, and planned. 

When they were finished, Zvi wanted to speak with Daniel in private. Maxim placed a hand on Keita’s shoulder, ‘Come.” They walked back to their cabin and they dressed for bed. 

While Ilya fell asleep quickly in the small full size bed, Maxim did not. He went into the kitchen where Keita’s cot was, “Keita?” Keita was awake and rolled over to face him, “Yes?” Maxim sat at the table and removed some chocolates from their wrapper, “You are not eating much.” Keita looked pitiful, “I’m just not that hungry. A lot is going on.” Maxim hummed an affirmative sound, “You need to eat.” 

Maxim moved his hand across the table, “My father, mother, and sisters were murdered by the Reiss family. We lived in the village you were in today and I carry a lot of guilt with me about Ilya’s family. They took me in and the reason I feel guilt is that I can’t help but wonder if I cursed them.” 

“I started to see Ilya’s family as another second family that I could love and feel safe in. I loved his mother and his siblings. We never speak of them. I think that I loved them and that doomed them. Everything I have ever loved has been taken from me. Well, so far I’ve managed to keep him, my children, and my new family but I worry all the time that I’m going to lose it all. I’m not 100% open with anyone but Ilya and Armin is a close second. I don’t want to be attached because it’ll hurt more if they go away.” 

“Lilly and Alexi are my world. They mean so much to me that sometimes I forget to breathe if I’m thinking about them. Alexi has Ilya’s smile and his features. But, he has the eyes of my most beloved sister. They haunt me. They make me long for her. Lilly has so much of me in her that I often wonder if I’m even a smidge as beautiful as she is. Ilya says she’s his little Maxi. I don’t know. I can’t be as perfect as she is.” 

“I love my children. But, I love the children of my family. When Bellamy came into our world it was amazing. We had this small child who called us uncle and smiled shyly. He liked his snacks and clean hands. Levi was his favorite person but, like Marco, he shared the love. He was such a delight.” Maxim wiped his eyes, “And then we had you.” 

“You were the most handsome baby in the world. To this day I’ve never seen a more beautiful baby other than my own. You were such a good baby, too. You never cried but you were stubborn.” He chuckled, “You were our first little baby and the family hovered around you since Nikko was hogged by his aba and Zev was so ill. You were easy and we could really learn from you. Ilya and I loved you like our own and would do anything to protect you.” 

“I’m telling you this because I don’t know how or why you did what you did. I’m just trying to understand. I love you. I honestly love you with all of my heart. But, I see where Ilya is coming from. If you had done to Alexi what you did to Zev, and I don’t even really know what you did, then I’d feel differently. So, please, for me in this moment, can you tell me the ugly truth of it all?” 

Keita sighed, “It’s complicated….or maybe it isn’t and I’ve just overthought it. I think I’ve lied to myself. In short, I wanted Gisela and to be important in the coming war. I forced Zev into my work by requesting his transfer to my unit. I kept him busy to drive a wedge between him and Gisela while trying to strengthen my own with her. When it became clear that he and Gisela were together, my jealousy became too much. I put him in dangerous situations and used her in my work to give me an edge. Soon, she became the target of international organizations and I baited them with her in order to gain their confidence. I thought I had it under control.” 

“Zev had to choose a second in command for the coming war. I wanted that to be me. I made sure that I was his only lifeline in the field and I gave him information on Gisela. But, then he got the girl pregnant. Of course, I investigated and found it wasn’t his. I had a choice to tell him or let him believe and finally have my chance with Gisela. I chose to sacrifice him. I had no idea Nikko, my main competition for second, had already been forced to save Gisela and now I was putting her in more danger by openly chasing her like I was. Zev cut ties with her and I tried all I could to get her to commit to me.” 

“She didn’t and Sebastian struck while the iron was hot. I was rageful, upset, jaded, and then when Zev came out of the job scarred and seeking her out, I sent him away. If I couldn’t get what I wanted then he couldn’t either. Then, he was taken and tortured. I couldn’t do anything at that point because of political reasons. But, Gisela could and she did. Eventually, I was made aware just how in danger she was and Nikko started to tighten his own noose around my throat. Basically, I am a horrible person that deserves to be killed by those I hurt.” 

Maxim stared at the table, “And now? Is that what you’ve decided?” Keita moved to sit up, “What do you mean?” Maxim looked at him, “Give up and die?” Keita sighed loudly, “Yes. I don’t deserve any better. The woman I have loved since I was a child saw me for nothing other than this ugly scheming vengeful creature that was hungry for her and power. One of my best friends, a brother really, saw that too. He saw how I coveted his love and how I sacrificed him first out of jealousy and second out of fear. I hurt Nikko and caused him endless stress. While I was kind to Mila, I was not kind enough for it to matter.” 

Maxim thought about it, “What did Gisela say? You were in the wedding as a groomsman.” Keita’s frown deepened, “That she forgave me but that if I had not been who I was, then she would have killed me. She said that hoping for revenge was pointless and that it betrayed the feelings she did have for me,” his voice broke, “but that it would serve me right to know how it felt to have something like what they had overcome stand in my way one day.” 

Maxim nodded, ‘But, it sounds like you have been forgiven.” 

Keita looked like he would cry, “I do not deserve the kindness. At least Zev is open and honest. He is only the way he is with me in public but as soon as it is just us there is nothing but silence and the screams of his torture. I live with it and will always live with it.” 

Maxim’s finger moved across the table top, “Why did you want to be the second in command?” Keita blinked the sleep from his eyes, “Because, I thought that I had a way to take the power of the Reiss family and make it ours.” 

There was a fated sound in those words and Maxim shifted nervously, “What?” Keita shrugged, ‘It was just a thought.” He seemed nervous, “I just thought if we found out who the original titan progenitor was then maybe we could find their source of power and take it. That way, we’d have a world without the Reiss and we’d have the power safely with us or disposed of by us.” 

“Why are you here, Keita?” 

“It was the one thing Zev asked me to do.” 

Keita had been trying to keep a low profile at the wedding. Nikko was still cool to him. A clear line was drawn between him. They would both work for Israel and in a way, together. But, the wounds were still too fresh and like all of the sons of Levi, they never forgot any wrong done to them or those they loved. 

Nikko had been drinking near him when Zev approached smiling. Yoni and Tuvia came to hug him and Bianca kissed his cheek. Keita watched silently. He’d danced with Gisela, a kindness on her part, and with his sister. Lilly had given him a drink and Alexi a clap on the shoulder. Zev turned to him, “Go with Maxim and Ilya to see the men with Iron Teeth for me. I want you to do this for me.” 

Keita stared blankly, “What’s the goal?” Zev was serious, “You should use your skills as leader to make sure that they take the vaccine and that they do what we need them to do. I know you can do this for me. Gisela and I will be busy here, weighing the options with a heavy heart. But, you’re good at following orders even if they create pain.” 

It stung but he deserved it. Zev’s eyes were piercing, “I need you to lead them and to support Maxim and Ilya in whatever our decision is. Do you understand?” Keita nodded and Zev gave a curt nod in affirmation. He turned to leave but changed his mind, “Keita? I may have chosen Gisela as my second in command but this is very much something that a second would do. This is the taste of glory you wanted. I hope it’s….beneficial? Rewarding? I just hope it what you need or want.” 

He left and Keita looked at the guests and at the way Judah looked at Aviva. He would never know love like that. 

Now he was here. “I couldn’t say no to the king. I know my place now. I’m resigned to it and happy to follow orders.” There was silence when Keita began to cough. He took a pill and laid down. Maxim’s thought consumed him as the time stretched on, “How do you feel?” Keita didn’t know how he meant the question, “I feel as I should. I am guilty and I am shamed. I can’t believe I hurt my brother. I can’t believe I hurt Gisela. I don’t know the man I was and I am frightened. My father and mother were so disappointed that I felt like the only way to redeem myself was to kill myself.” 

“No! Keita!” 

“My father, the proudest most warm hearted gentleman, wept and tore his shirt after hearing the evils I committed. My mother would not look at me without crying. My sister’s eyes changed. I was no longer a source of affection and light. I was instead the very root of hurt and I darkened everything I touched. Who let’s their family suffer like I did? If I had just told him that the baby wasn’t his in the first place, my previous sins would have gone unnoticed. He would have married Gisela earlier. He would have never suffered the damaged and post traumatic stress.” 

“Gisela’s very spirit was nearly broken and she could have ended up in a trap where she was kidnapped, committed to slavery, and exploited. If I had left them alone, their future would have been so much brighter.” 

He closed his eyes, “I am sorry, uncle Maxim. I am so very tired.” 

He sagged on his cot. Maxim wiped his eyes and stoked the stove. He gathered two large blankets and laid one on Keita before returning to his room. He draped the bed in it and Ilya stirred, “I suppose he’s doing a good job of punishing himself.” 

Maxim didn’t reply. He wrapped his arms about Ilya and closed his eyes, “I hope he really has learned.” 

* 

* 

* 

Keita awoke feeling like death. He heard the people outside in the village talking louder than normal. When he moved, his body ached and his throat was sore. He changed, wiped his face, and entered the cold air. Ilya appeared, “It’s time to administer vaccines. Zvi, Daniel, Gad, and Issa have agreed to the terms. His daughter, Jaffa, is helping administer to the religious women and she needs help explaining the vaccine. You will prep her on what to say and then you will return to help us carry the weak and young.” 

He felt a tug on his pants, “Hello.” Shalem was at his side. Keita sighed but he was happy to see him, “Want some?” He was chewing with his mouth open and opened his hand to show the second half of a piece of jerky. Keita’s appetite was still gone but his nausea had returned, “No and please, do not eat with your mouth open. It isn’t proper.” 

When Keita and Shalem came to the meeting place in the middle of the two camps he saw Dovid smiling and pointing him towards a row of white tents. He went to them searching for Jaffa. Shalem took his hand and he felt a small amount of warmth fill his chest. He was touched that the boy liked him. 

Jaffa appeared, her hair loose and uncovered. She gave him a stern look, “You’re late. Tell me what’s in these things.” 

He did and very carefully. She enjoyed his ability to talk in a practical manner and stress the actually important parts of something. She turned to enter the tent when the girl, Miri, came out, “Tatti!” Dovid waved, “You stay with Miss Meir!” She smiled at him and then looked at Keita, “Are you a Jew?” 

Keita nodded, “I am.” She stared, “You don’t look Jewish.” 

He’d gotten that a lot in his life. Keita as a first name didn’t help. She kept looking at him intently, “Why are your eyes like that?” He smirked, “Better to see you with, my dear.” A surprising chuckle escaped Jaffa. She covered her mouth to try and stifle it. 

Miri was put off by that, “Why are you laughing?” She didn’t know the story of Little Red Riding Hood and it made Jaffa stop, “Keita’s parents are just his parents, Miri. He’s Jewish and they are, too. Remember, we are a people of many colors, creeds, ethnicities, and more. We don’t all look alike and that’s great. We should celebrate that.” 

Miri looked skeptical, “What are you, though? Jewish and what?” Jaffa scowled and clicked her tongue behind her teeth, “Miri, that’s not a nice way to ask such a thing. If you’re going to ask someone, it should be someone you know well and you should be much more polite.” 

Keita looked at Jaffa and then crouched down to Miri’s level, “My mother is Japanese and Mizrahi. My father was Ashkenazi, Japanese, Mongolian, and Swedish. I was born in Israel because my father and mother wanted me to be a sabra. My father was also born in Israel but my mother was born in America, where I also grew up. Miss Meir is correct. We Jews come from all walks of life.” 

Jaffa didn’t know any of this about him. When he spoke of his mother, it was vague and proud. She had to admit that she did the same about her mother. They somehow spoke of these women in the same way and yet never gave any details as to their appearance or origins. She heard Miri hum, “If you’re Jewish, what’s your real name?” Jaffa popped Miri, “Miri!” 

Keita still gave her the answer, “Solomon Yigael ben David Yossi v’Maya Jaffa.” It surprised Jaffa that his mother’s name involved her own. However she didn’t think that was her name, “Is that her English name?’ Keita shook his head, “No, Jaffa is her Hebrew and English middle name but Maya is only her Hebrew first name. Her English first name is Mikasa. My father’s English and Hebrew are the same: David Yossi.” 

They didn’t have any more time, “I have to finish and then head back to the barracks to change. I meet with the schaddchen tonight and can finally move my case forward since Daniel is here. He controls the marriages and I couldn’t stand the thought of going through Issa himself.” 

Keita was caught a little off guard, “Tonight you’ll get the okay on the match or? I’m sorry. We don’t use schaddchens really.” She gave him a surprised look, “I thought you did?” He shook his head, “No. I know basically what they do but not all about their meetings. I was a reference for my brother but that’s it. It was over the phone.” She gave him a surprised look, “Listen, I don’t really have time to explain it all but they’ve been reviewing my resume and they’ve called references. Now, I’ve done my best to be upstanding and prove my worth while here as a committed member of the tribe. I had to show I was going to be a good Jewish wife.” 

“I’ve clearly let it be known to my schaddchen that Issa’s grandson is most amiable to me. I know he requested to see me at the market the other day and since then we’ve exchanged waves. I’m very sure that my engagement will be proclaimed soon and I’ll be calling my mother to tell her.” Jaffa seemed so happy and sure that he could only smile. 

“Are you smiling at me, Lavie?” She seemed amused. He nodded, “I’m glad it’s all working out for you.” She disappeared into the tent with a slight blush on her cheeks. 

* 

* 

* 

Armin and Erwin moved like zombies from the plane to their car. How were they going to handle a situation like this? Erwin looked over at him, “We should tell her, right?” Armin felt so horrible, “It’s just so hard. But, yes, we should. If we don’t then she could be upset if she ever finds out. It sounded like the other kids might know but it wouldn’t be surprising if Gisela had threatened them.” 

Armin shook suddenly, “I can’t imagine that Zev knew and let him marry Aviva without speaking to her or us or anyone.” Erwin nodded, ‘Yes, not Zev. But, Gisela definitely knew.” Armin frowned, “Why do you think he killed them?” Erwin and Armin rode in the car a few minutes longer before he spoke, “I think he kills them because maybe he wants to kill Aviva. He does this to not kill her.” 

Armin started to cry. 

Erwin parked the car, “My love, I just think we have to leave it up to her and him. We can ask for reasonings but ultimately, we must follow our daughter’s lead. She has a child with him.” Armin leaned against the glass, “He’s my little lion.” 

Erwin frowned, “He’s not so little any more.” 

* 

* 

* 

Levi had called the day after Judah made the appointment to speak with him, ‘I have to go out of town. I’m sorry, when I get back can we talk?” Judah had been less than thrilled. He’d been avoiding Zev as much as he could. It wasn’t so bad if they had been able to just go to work but they were at home alone most of the time, “Sure.” Levi heard the strain in his voice, “I’ll cancel. Meet me at the gym.” 

Judah didn’t speak with him about it at their first meeting. He asked to stay at the house that night. Levi let him. The next day was the same and then the next. Finally, Levi brought him into his office and sat him down, “Judah, what’s going on? Your wife if niddah and you just decide to leave your house completely?” 

Judah shifted in his chair, “It isn’t my wife that’s the problem.” 

“Who is the problem? Your sister?” 

“No! Gisela is perfection.” 

Levi leaned forward, his eyes narrowed, “Is it Zev?” 

Judah’s cheeks were red, “Yes.” 

Levi slowly thought about it before leaning back in his chair and smirking. He clicked his tongue behind his teeth and then smiled wickedly, “Oh, so that’s it.” Judah’s blush deepened, “What do you mean?” Levi shrugged, “Tell me what he’s doing.” Judah scowled, “I don’t like your face.” 

Levi waited and Judah waited. 

Eventually, Eren entered. He leaned over and kissed Levi, “Hey.” Levi pulled back, “Take a shower after you run, you filthy brat.” Eren grinned, “I’m making dinner tonight. Should I plan on anyone extra?” Levi shook his head, “Why?” Eren shrugged, “I’m making steaks.” Levi took his hand and thought about it, “You should probably make….eight.” Judah wasn’t surprised till he said, “You should also make something for Gaia.” 

Judah looked at him, “Are you inviting them?” Levi nodded, “I am.” He had a theory. “So, Eren, be sure to throw in two more steaks.” Eren was picking at Levi’s shirt, “Why?” Levi rolled his eyes, “For you and Zev to have two steaks.” Eren smiled, “I love you.” 

After he left, Judah tried to question him, “How did you and Big Ass Tree Man finally get together?” Levi raised any eyebrow, “You read it all in the book.” Judah met his gaze, “I can’t read so humor me.” Levi’s face betrayed nothing, “I think we got together because we realized that there was nothing we could do about it. It was fate.” 

Judah didn’t like that answer, “I mean, how did you….” He couldn’t find the words, “When you were trying to make ends meet, you slept with people in New York. What made you sleep with men? You said something the other day to the effect that until you swung for Erwin you didn’t know you swang that way.” 

Levi let out a short gust of air, “When I slept with men, I did it for money and I hated it. I was normally drunk and high and I did very little I didn’t have to. It was different eventually with Erwin.” Judah didn’t understand, “What do you mean?” Levi didn’t know what his son wanted from him, “When I finally stopped using sex as a weapon and started enjoying it then I realized that I really liked it and I liked Erwin. I had always found men and women to be attractive but I was guarded about men more so than women. In fact, I think that’s the only reason I was so open to sleeping with men for money. This is hard to explain. I’m shit with words.” 

Judah sighed, “Okay, I really don’t like words either.” 

Levi chuckled, “Well, I guess we’re both between a rock and a hard place.” 

Judah turned around in his chair, his back to Levi. Levi raised an eyebrow, “I’m not sure if this is disrespect or submission.” Judah scowled, “I can’t look at you when I tell this story. It’s embarrassing. You’re my Aba.” Levi tried to suppress the smirk he had, “Okay. Begin when you think you’re strong enough.” 

Judah frowned, “Zev has been acting strange lately. He buys me gifts, gets me coffee, drives me around like a chauffeur, he takes on my chores at work, and-” 

Levi blurted it out, “He’s such a nice kid.” 

Judah turned around in his chair, “ABA!” He turned back around and Levi rolled his eyes. “So, we were discussing how much our wives cost and I pointed out that Smiths cost more, because they’re ridiculous, when he asked how much I cost. I thought that was weird. I jokingly said something about him trying to take me as a wife and he said he was. He said was hitting on me this whole time. Then I talked to Nikko.” 

Judah went quiet, “And I decided to make a point that I don’t like men by kissing Zev to give it a chance.” 

He went quiet again, “He kept wanting to kiss me but I said no and that I didn’t like men again and then….he pushed me on floor and tied me up and started to give me a blow job.” There was silence, “Now, I’m really confused about what happened and how I feel about it.” 

Levi rested his chin in his hand, “It sounds like rape.” 

Judah turned around, “It’s not.” 

“You said no.” 

“But, I didn’t really resist.” 

“Do me a favor and not engage in such problematic behavior. You should have clear rules. Erwin and I started out hate fucking each other and dominating each other but neither said “no” ever. It’s not okay and it makes things worse for everyone in humanity.” Judah stared, “So, are you going to help me or not?” 

Levi gave him a reproachful look, “Help you? You’re grown! Tell me what the problem is.” Judah squirmed, “I don’t know what to do! He wants to sleep with me and….and….and….I don’t know! Love me or something!” 

Levi shrugged, “He’s a handsome guy. He asked about your finances. He clearly wants to take care of you. Did he say he loves you?” 

Judah sneered, “No, baruch HaShem. I have no time for that. I have a wife.” Levi smiled, “How did you feel?” Judah shrugged, “I felt...it was nice. I liked it. I had….and honest reaction and arousal. But, I’ve never looked at men. I’ve never ever felt aroused by them. Zev has…he's always made me flustered when he did things to me. I am afraid of this.” 

Levi’s chest rose and fell quietly, “Are you afraid of hurting him? Are you afraid that you might not be able to give him what he wants?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“If you tell him you want to try and you can’t return those feelings then you’ll feel bad.” 

Judah let out a deep sigh, “I’m afraid of that, yes. I’m also nervous because it’s Zev and he’s my sister’s husband. This is strange.” Levi raised an eyebrow, “Oh? Is it?” Judah nodded, “For me it is. I never saw myself sleeping with anyone other than Aviva after Gaia was born.” Levi smiled softly, “She’s the one?” 

Judah allowed himself to be transparent, “She’s my everything.” 

Levi wanted to fall out of his chair, “I am very happy to hear that.” 

“I love her and I just want her to be happy and never have a want or care. But, she wants another baby and it really scares me. I am terrified of it and I don’t want her to know because she might think….she can just dream up some shit, you know?” Levi burst into laughter and Judah didn’t know if that was good or not. 

He wiped his eyes, “Son, your vati and daddy can also make a mountain out of a molehill. Baba is pretty easy but sometimes he gets a wild hair up his bratty ass and tries to make my life hard.” Judah smirked, “She’s pretty wild and bratty. It’s a nice life.” Levi became serious, “Honestly, just go for it. Be honest with him that you may not be able to return those feelings and that if that’s the case this will just be a fling.” 

Judah recoiled, “Feelings? I’m not sure there are any feelings. Aviva and Gisela don’t have feelings. Why would we?” 

Levi raised an eyebrow but said nothing. 

Judah pressed, “Why do you think there are feelings?” 

Levi shrugged, “You don’t ask someone to be your wife and not have feelings.” 

Judah recoiled in the chair, “Oh God, no. I don’t like that. I don’t want that. We’re not y’all.” Levi shrugged, “Okay, then just sleep with him or fool around. It doesn’t matter. It’s not a big deal, Judah. It really isn’t. Sex is sex, holes are holes, shit is shit.” 

Judah rolled his eyes, “You’re a fucking poet.” 

Levi stood up and walked over to him. He gave him a light slap on his cheek, “You’re such a shitty brat. I didn’t spank you near enough.” Judah grinned, “Daddy did.” Levi huffed, “Boy, you lie. I never let daddy spank you unless I was around and he got a few himself for spanking you when I wasn’t.” 

He hugged his son, “I love you, Judah. Be nice to Zev. He’s pretty awesome.” 

Judah laughed shortly, “Never say that within ear shot of him.” They went down to the kitchen where Jean was leaning over Eren as he cooked, “Hey, Jaeger, whatcha doin’?” 

Eren was biting his lip and not responding. Jean moved closer, his lips on his neck, “What are you doing?” Eren didn’t reply. Then, he swung around and started beating Jean with the wooden spoon. Jean tickled Eren and both fought in the kitchen while Marco drank his coffee and made notes for stories. Judah heard the door open after Levi and he had entered. He turned to see Gisela, “I’m starving.” 

She was dressed for dance and still sweaty. Zev came in behind her, “Gigi, I was thinking we should do it.” He stopped his conversation to meet Judah’s gaze. He smirked and Judah turned away. Levi had seen and started to grin to himself, covering his mouth with his hand. _Judah’s not so unaffected as he’d like to pretend._ Aviva entered and Levi saw his son’s body visible change. He turned around, hearing her shoes on the floor. Gaia was in her arms asleep. 

She had just come from dance, too. Judah looked at her and she frowned, “You didn’t answer your phone!” He frowned, “Did you actually call because it’s on and right here.” He brought it out of his pocket, “See?” 

She huffed, “I called!” Gaia started to wake up and Gisela took her from Aviva, “V, it’s fine. Gaia got sick but she’s okay.” Judah reached for his child, ‘She got sick?!” Aviva wanted to touch her husband but they were still niddah, “Yeah. I was really scared.” He looked at her and knew she had been more than upset. 

Zev stroked Gaia’s curls, “I think Gaiaka ate something that didn’t agree with her or it was rich and then she got hot.” Levi took his granddaughter, “Maybe she should hang with Sabba (grandfather).” He scurried away with her and Jean and Eren managed to make dinner. 

* 

A few nights later, Erwin and Armin would be coming home from Denmark. Gisela and Zev had been holding private talks that went late into the night. She wanted to touch her husband but she couldn’t deny that without their physical routine, they had plenty of time to speak, “Once the numbers are confirmed then we’ll start.” Zev looked at the folder she’d made of all the courses of action they were going to take. 

“Katzchen, I love your attention to detail but there are some plans where you’ve died and I simply need to shred them.” She gave him a stern look, “You’ll keep them and learn them. Zev?” He hummed, “Yes?” She sounded thoughtful, “Do you sometimes worry that someone we know is a Reiss and we’ll have to…” He put the folder down on the side table, “I think that’s something we both know is a possibility and we’ll handle it when we come to it.” 

She sat on the edge of the bed, “I go to the Mikvah tomorrow.” He grinned, “And when you get home I’m going to take comfort in you.” She smiled, “You’re ridiculously dependant on me.” He nodded, “I know. I’m not ashamed at all.” 

She moved her hand slowly on the fabric of the comforter, “You asked Keita to go to Russia.” It wasn’t said as a question. He took a deep breath and then sighed, “I did. I thought he was a good fit.” She looked back at the bed, “I said he wasn’t going to run another mission.” He became defensive, “Ilya and Maxim are there.” She pressed, “Why did you send him?” 

He bristled, “Are you worried something will happen to him?” 

She never looked away, “Why?” 

He was really cross with her, “He needed something.” 

He crossed his arms, fuming. He didn’t have to defend himself. It was Keita. Keita is why he had suffered so much and for so long. He loved his wife and tried to take her from him. 

She looked at him for a long time. Then, a small sweet smile graced her lips, “You want to hate him. I want to hate him. But, we really can’t. You did him a kindness and I thank you for that. He will get what he deserves but there is no reason for us to be the cause of it. Mikasa and David deserve more than that. Hannahlore deserves more than that. I am glad that you are the very man I think you are.” 

She stood up, “I’m going to sleep with Judah tonight. I love you.” She left and he thought about her words. She was right. He had done him a kindness. 

* 

Now, Erwin and Armin were at home and unpacking. Armin had the photos and couldn’t keep from pulling them back out and looking at them. He wiped his face, “Where is Zev and Gisela? Aren’t we supposed to meet them?” Erwin was on the phone, “You’re with Hanji?” He sighed, “Okay, well the numbers line up. We need to discuss the next plan of action. I think we need to find out who and where.” 

He hung up, “Nikko and Mila are with Hannahlore and Yoni tonight helping out and waiting for the baby. Hanji and Oskar had them over for dinner and science.” Armin had to smile at that, “God, another grandbaby!” He hugged Erwin, “Mmmm, you’re so big and strong. We should make a baby.” Erwin wanted to be playful but, “I’d like to protect the ones we have. Let’s go over there.” Armin buried his face in his chest, “No. I’m too upset.” Erwin pulled him along with him. 

* 

Judah had come home to his wife on the floor in the living room playing with his daughter. They still weren’t having sex. She thought they should wait till she was ovulating. He hated waiting and hated the sight of her peeing on sticks to check everyday only to tell him no. 

Gisela and Zev had also not had sex but that was due to Gisela traveling and Zev working odd shifts. Judah may be the reason for the odd times since he was still uncomfortable around him. 

Now, she was yawning, “Yehuda? I need to take a shower. Can you play with Gaiaka? She took a really long nap but I think another two or three hours of play and she’ll go down nicely.” 

He nodded and picked Gaia up, “We’ll go for a swim. It’s night time and no sun will burn my baby girl.” He kissed a smiling Gaia before reaching out and pulling Aviva to him. He kissed her and she kissed him back passionately. When she pulled away she winked and disappeared. 

Judah went outside after changing and got in the water with her. He put her in a floaty and then swam around with her. The salt water pool was lit and warm as they floated and enjoyed the night sky. He loved spending time with his little girl. 

Armin’s lithe form appeared as he was picking Gaia up and swimming with her outside of the giraffe flote. He smiled and waved at his vati but Armin looked upset and grim. Erwin’s face was no better when he saw him. He got out with Gaia, “Vati?” Armin’s throat was dry and his words lost. 

Erwin found his, “Where is Aviva?” Judah sensed something was wrong, “Shower.” He looked at Armin, “Vati? What’s wrong?” Armin shook his head, “Nothing. Listen, go clean that baby up before she gets sick!” He huffed and Judah hurried inside to shower himself and Gaia. He felt off about it all but he had to trust Armin wouldn’t lie to him. 

He put Gaia in her pajamas and kissed her all over, “My sweet Gaiaka. I love you.” She smiled and laughed at him. It made his heart flutter to hear those sounds. He heard Erwin’s low voice echoing down the hallway. He picked Gaia up and laid her on his shoulder with a sippy cup for her to drink while she fell asleep. 

The energy was strange as he found them in his office. 

Armin was sitting, nervously fidgeting. Erwin looked grim and concerned. Aviva was silent, emotionless. Her face revealed nothing. It was so smooth and shocked looking he didn’t know what to think. She didn’t even acknowledge him when he walked inside but Armin did. He turned his head, eyes rimmed red, “Judah, we went to Denmark to speak with One Eye. After discussing many things, he asked about you.” 

Judah was surprised, “Why? I met him once as a child.” Armin pulled at the hem of his shirt. Judah moved closer, his voice wavered, “Vait, what is happening? Why are you so upset?” Erwin turned, his face not unkind but…. _scared?_

“Judah,” the way he said his name made him clutch Gaia closer to him. She was almost asleep, her little body going limp on his. “Judah, he wanted to know why we let you marry Aviva.” Judah grew defensive. Erwin could see the fire sparking in his eyes, “Judah, he informed us you were a serial killer. He worried that you might kill Aviva due to your past preferences.” Erwin’s hand was shaking as he touched the envelope, “He had pictures.” 

They were displayed on the table for Aviva to see. His stomach clenched and dropped. He wanted to faint and vomit. It wasn’t like that. He wasn’t ever going to hurt her. He was just fucked up. They were Reiss. But, he had had other reasons, too. He couldn’t speak. He looked at Aviva and she was still silent, as still as stone. 

Erwin and Armin were silent, too. 

It was so tense in the room before Judah took a heavy step forward. He started to reach out to touch her but she flinched away and left, holding her hand up for him to not follow. 

Judah’s eyes were red and stinging from tears. 

He held his daughter close, “It’s true I kill. I alway have. I don’t really know why I do it. Aba said his uncle was the same way. I think I just stick to people I feel are evil and deserve it. The women….I just missed Aviva and they reminded me of her in some ways. I don’t know. That sounds so fucked up. It’s just that, they made me angry because they were nothing like her and they were Reiss. You know, most of whom I have killed are Reiss. You don’t know how it feels in your body to be around them and feel that buzzing. It’s horrible. Buzzing and buzzing. It makes us all crazy.” 

He looked down, “I love Aviva and I don’t ever want to hurt her. I would never hurt her.” Armin shifted in his seat, “Why would you kill women who looked like her? This is disturbing, Judah. None of us are perfect but we’re not…. _serial_ killers. You realize there is something wrong about killing women who look like your wife. What if I had tracked down people looking like Erwin and killed them?” 

Judah squirmed, “I didn’t go looking for them. I mean, I just missed her so much.” Armin’s eyes were squinted, “Help me understand, you killed them because you missed her?” 

Judah’s body was numb and hot, “I….I didn’t know how I felt about her….they were there but they weren’t…..they were Reiss. Things got complicated and I used them for information for the missions. I was the honey pot. I just….tended to become interested in them because I wanted to work out my feelings.” 

Zev came inside suddenly, “Hey, why is everyone in here?” He looked at how upset everyone was, Gaia sleeping on her father, and then the pictures. He summed everything up, “So, now you know. Well, it’s pretty shocking at first but it’s nothing to worry about. Most of us kids know and we’re in agreement that he’s not a threat to us and while we don’t exactly condone it, he has always had reasons. You have to ask yourself, would you rather him have left alive all those people who wanted to do us harm or our family harm? Have you yourself not killed countless? It’s just not a pattern but the body count may be more in your case.” 

Judah was rocking Gaia and looking helplessly at Zev. Zev stayed strong, “We never wanted Aviva to know. Hannahlore, Bianca, Lilly, and Gio don’t really know anything of substance but we all kept it from Aviva on my orders.” He paused, “I wish you would have spoken to Judah alone before coming to her but I see why you did it.” Erwin looked at Zev, “You’ve all known. When did this start?” Zev stayed cool and calm, “He was maybe fifteen. It began when Gisela started looking at going to school. I don’t see what the problem is.” 

Armin gasped, “You don’t?” Zev gave a stern look, “No, because he’s never done anything to his family and you’ve loved him this whole time. Are you saying you don’t love him anymore or that you fear him? What is there to fear. He hasn’t done anything like that,” he pointed at the photos, “since he was sent back to Maria and began his relationship with Aviva in serious. This was merely a part of our tactics. They were Reiss and connected to high ranking officials. They had intel and they had a thing for Judah.” 

Gisela’s petite form appeared near him, “We would have killed them anyway. But, there is the added factor that he isn’t the only one that has done this. Aba is who you should speak to and I’m not innocent either.” Zev’s hands twitched and Armin looked at Gisela and then at Erwin, “Let’s go home. Judah, we don’t hate you or not love you. We didn’t know what to do and now that you’re a parent you can understand. If it was Gaia, try and think of how you’d feel?” They left them but planned on coming back over after they’d spoke to Levi. 

Gisela took the photos and put them away, “Well, we didn’t think this is how it would be. But, Aviva is understandably upset. I’d say give her space and Zev and I will be here to help.” She kissed Judah before taking his hand, “Choose you words carefully. I know you’ve never even spoken to me about it. Maybe your wife should be the one you finally do?” She had to leave to finish the laundry. Now, it was just him and Zev. 

Zev’s hand was on his back, “I’ll make sure that there is limited lashback and discomfort for you. Don’t worry.” He smiled and Judah felt relieved for once. Maybe Zev being in charge isn’t too bad? 

He carried his daughter into her room and laid her down. “Never forget how much I love you.” He kissed her face and hands. 

Now, he entered his bedroom. She was in the bed, her back to the sitting area. He sat down and pulled a throw over him. He wanted to be near her but he didn’t dare encroach on her. He waited on the couch, too nervous to sleep. He missed her next to him. He didn’t want to lose her or go back to sleeping by himself. 

She rolled over, looking at the ceiling and then at him, “What are you doing over there?” 

He didn’t know what to say, “I’m….I….” 

“You can’t fucking talk now?” 

“I didn’t think you’d want me near you.” 

“I’ve been niddah and am emotional and then I find out my husband is a murderer. Well, you’ve been in bed with me the whole time as that so why is now any different?” Her words were harsh and he felt scared. He’d given himself over to her and loved her so much that the thought of losing her crippled him. He moved to the bed. 

She didn’t want him near her yet and he kept his distance in their king size bed. “Why?” Her voice was softer, “Why would you kill me?” He felt like he was burning as he sought out the words, “I was the honey pot. You know what that is. I never went after them specifically. It’s just there was always something there that reminded me of you and they all gave into me and not the other men.” 

She paused, “But, you really did want them specifically. I know some had to be accidents but come on. There is a pattern. Why did you kill them the way you did? Do you want to do that to me?” He felt sicker because yes, he took the cases where they looked like her after the first few. He started targeting them because of his own perversions. 

“You’re right. I did have my own motives. The first thing you need to realize is that they were all Riess. I was angry at them for what they were and who they were. They were the daughters, wives, girlfriends, and lovers of other Reiss who were killing us and threatening us. I missed you, I was trying to work it all out. How could I miss you and hate you? I couldn’t. There wasn’t any way I could love you. I wanted to figure out what made them like you and what made you you.” 

“Each time I thought I had figured it out, they were a disappointment. They weren’t like you.” She looked at him, “What weren’t they like?” He sighed, “Perfection.” 

The silence stretched between them. 

Aviva spoke, “Have you kept on?” 

“No, I came back and then I was with you. I was with perfection. I felt blessed to be near someone so fierce, strong, wild, and beautiful. It was great. It was all I needed. I didn’t do anything till we had to go back overseas and it was so hard being away from you but you gave me your word and I tried my best to ensure you were happy.” 

“Why?” 

“Because I thought if you were happy you wouldn’t leave me for the piece of shit I am. I’m messed up, Aviva. It’s an internal thing. I have a natural urge for revenge and when anyone even looks at you sideways I want to rip them apart.” She rolled on her side near him, “What happened to the man who hurt me?” He looked at her, “I killed him.” 

She didn’t have a visible reaction, “Down in the club…..did you ever tell your aba?” He shook his head no. She seemed like she was thinking, “That’s not just for all of those guns, is it?” He didn’t know what to say to that, “No, it’s not just for the arms. It’s for getting rid of people if I have to. Maxim and Ilya store their arms there and I store mine with...Gisela’s….you know. It’s best to be prepared for the apocalypse….we’re Jews you know.” 

She squirmed, “But, do you want to kill me?” 

He panicked, “Only figuratively when you make a mess. I’d give my life to protect yours. Not take it. You and Gaia are my heart. I am loyal to you and our relationship and future. I want you to keep me around for a long time.” 

She moved closer and they spoke more. 

In the morning, she left to get Gaia and he laid in bed thinking of how everything had almost been ruined. He decided to speak with the person who had saved him when he couldn’t possible save himself. He went down to Zev and Gisela’s bedroom and opened the door. He saw Gisela on her back, hair tousled, breasts exposed with Zev lying on top of her with his face between them. 

She was running her fingers through his hair and looking at the ceiling. She spoke softly, “My brother is here. He can entertain and comfort you while I go swim.” Zev groaned, “Gigi, staaaay.” She moved out from under him and grabbed her shirt off the floor. She walked towards him, “He likes to be held with his face in my breasts. You’ll have to substitute something for breasts but please, take care of him for me.” He grinned, “I’ll beat him.” She smirked, “That works, too.” 

He watched Zev roll over, “She’s so mean to me.” Judah rolled his eyes, “You like it.” Zev pouted, “That’s beside the point.” He got in the bed with him, “Thank you…..for doing what you did.” Zev closed his eyes, “I’ll always take care of my little prince.” Judah scoffed, “You’re disgusting.” 

Zev pulled the covers tighter around him, “I wish Gigi would come back. There’s nothing like putting my head between her breasts. It’s like, all my cares fall away and I’m just safe.” Judah laid down, “Same but with my face in Aviva’s ass.” Judah looked at the room and felt brash, “I’ll kiss you but only kiss. I’m not sure about sex or any of that so if you can-” 

Zev pulled him into a scorching kiss. 

* 

* 

* 

Gisela and Zev called Maxim and Ilya. The connection was poor but it would do. Armin, Erwin, Levi, Erwin, David, Jean, Marco, and Zad were all in the room. They had handed the numbers over and were concerned with how to proceed. Somehow, though, Gisela and Zev were able to find all of the personal information, addresses, numbers, passport information, and more of every Reiss in the world. This was destiny. It had to be. 

Zev cleared his throat, “We’ve sent the information over. It’s time to scare them into consolidating. Yoni and Ezra are in South America. Tuvia is in Poland. Bellamy and Alexi will meet you after coming through Russia from Finland and Sweden. Let us know when you’ve finished. We expect it to last two weeks.” 

Maxim turned to Ilya. They kissed and called a meeting of the village. Things had been rough lately. They went to find Keita. 

Keita was sitting with Jaffa while the girls from school played around them. Jaffa was awaiting her meeting with the schaeddchen while they appeared. Daniel came up, “I can see it’s important news but I do have a meeting with Miss Meir.” Maxim looked grim, “It really cannot wait. How about we all speak and then you have the meeting with her since she’s entitled to it.” 

Jaffa squirmed, “Okay...is it really important?” Ilya nodded, “Yes, ma’am.” Zvi appeared, “I was told to be here.” Daniel brought them all inside and Ilya asked Keita to fill them in on what Zev and Gisela needed them to do. 

“They need the tribes to kill every Reiss in the country. We will go to homes and places of work. We will do this because it’s the only way. They will panic as word spreads and the remaining Reiss will flee to the US where the compounds are located. That way we can fight them in the final war more successfully.” 

Keita was tired looking but he spoke as a general, not a man. They decided to start tomorrow night at midnight, “They won't see us coming.” Maxim, Ilya, and Keita stepped out so that they could finish with Jaffa. 

Keita’s hands were cold but Ilya handed him some hot chocolate from Dovid’s wife, “Listen, just go back to the cabin and sleep.” He didn’t really want to, “I actually want to know if she gets the okay to marry. If she does, I’ll have to say goodbye to her as my bodyguard.” Ilya’s eyes were sparked with amusement, “Or plead your undying love?” Keita recoiled, “No, she’s just my work associate and I want her to be happy. I’ll not lie to you, a part of me wants her to come back to Israel. Maybe Issa’s grandson will want to move? I might head to his cabin after to talk him into it.” 

Ilya raised an eyebrow, “Elijah?” Keita shrugged, “I don’t know what his name is.” Ilya looked unimpressed, “He’s a weakling. She has been fooled by orthodoxy and the wall it puts between young people knowing each other.” Keita didn’t like that, “In what way?” 

Ilya sighed, “He’s just a weak person. He’s a poor fighter, poor leader, poor everything. He can’t cook or sew. He can’t clean a gun or wield a knife. He can’t start a fire. He’s sweet and if he was just an intellectual I’d forgive everything else but no, he’s barely above average in his studies. She’d be basically marrying a potato. If that’s her thing, then she’s picked well but she looks like a girl who likes a strong man with skills.” 

He frowned and Ilya smiled, “Hopefully, she’ll meet him and realize it before they wed.” 

Keita and Ilya stood outside while Maxim spread the word to the men and women of the villages. He was delegating orders and planning using the map all of their courses. Keita began helping but it was the Maxim show for sure. He was yelling, threatening, and he even stabbed someone. Ilya just laughed, “That’s my Maxi! He’s a gangster at heart to this day!” 

Suddenly, Jaffa burst through the door of the cabin. Her face was blood red and she was hysterical. Tears ran down her face, her mouth open with great moans escaping from it while air was harshly pulled in to her screaming, starved lungs. 

Her father followed her out with the others but no one came near the girl. In fact, Keita noticed how the crowd kept it’s distance and not all eyes were sympathetic. He ran over to her and wrapped her in his arms while she fought him. He didn’t know what was going on but he needed to help her. No one else was going to. 

Zvi ran forward but she spat at him. 

Keita’s face must have been horrified because Zvi gave him a look that said “I don’t mind.” 

He turned to Ilya and Ilya pointed suddenly back to their camp, “Take her to our cabin.” Keita pulled a thrashing Jaffa along on the path till she broke free, “Stop! Let me die! Let me die out here in the cold!” She started to take her jacket off. It was so unlike her. She was always so calm and collected. He worried for her health, “Jaffa.” He said her name as a commanding office, “stop acting like this and come with me to the cabin. I have no idea what is going on and you’re hysterical.” 

She kept removing her clothes. He was so uncomfortable by it he lunged forward to stop her, “Stop! Are you hypothermic?! This is madness! You’ll freeze to death!” He drug her to the cabin, throwing her inside of it and locking the door. She laid on the wood floor, sobbing. He had no idea what to do for her. 

Jaffa was strong and never reacted like this. He thought of her and what she might want him to do in this situation. He knew better than to demand that she tell him what had happened. She was clearly upset by whatever did happen and eventually she’d tell him. _Maybe._

It wasn’t really his business. 

He heated some water above the fireplace and removed his boots and hers. He pulled her off the floor and laid her on the cot he had been using and covered her with the blankets. He was worried she had become too cold and was suffering from the side effects of hypothermia. What did he really know? He’d never lived somewhere so cold. 

When the water was ready, he took a cloth and wiped her face. She resisted him but he wouldn’t be deterred. He sat in silence with her, gently wiping the tears from her eyes with the warm cloth like his mother had done him many times. Jaffa eventually sat up in the bed and he moved to make tea. She looked like death. He thought she’d maybe been told someone had died that she was close to. That would explain a lot. 

“I can’t get married.” 

Keita heard her words, but he didn’t understand, “Why not? He doesn’t agree to the match?” 

She was numb, “Did you hear about an outsider?” Keita nodded, “Yes, I was told to stay away from the outsider. I guess Dinah scares them all with her strength. They’re very old school here.” She whipped her head to the side to glare at him, “It’s me.” She said the words through gritted teeth, “I am the outsider. I had no idea until tonight.” 

The words toppled out, “I sat down and it was like a waking nightmare.” 

“The schaeddchen moved my file across the table and told me I had been denied. There was no one suitable for me to marry here and I was not allowed to marry.” She started to cry again but he knew she was attempting to pull herself together. “Daniel told my father he should have known better. Just because he adopted-” She started to cry again. Keita sat down, “You’re adopted.” She covered her mouth, eyes shut, tears spilling over. He took her other hand, “I am sorry. He never told you?” She shook her head and they had to wait again for her to be able to continue. 

“I’m adopted. It’s bad enough but then the schaddchen said they couldn’t allow a non-Jew to marry a Jew. I said that they were crazy. I’m ethnically Jewish and was raised a Jew. My mother is Jewish! I'm Jewish! But, my father said that she isn’t! Can you believe that!? They lied and because of the nature of their case Israel let them in. Daniel asked why he had not converted me when I was young but my father said he was afraid to and that I’d ask too many questions. He said he was happy and my mother and I were his world. They lived in a Jewish home and I was Jewish.” 

She groaned, “It’s hard enough to learn that your father isn’t your father but to now know that I’m not Jewish…” she bent over and sobbed, “I don’t want to live. My entire life is a lie! Everything is built on lies! I am a lie! Who am I?! I don’t even know!” 

“Conversion isn’t a good option because I could attract attention from the state and then they may ask more questions. I don’t want to do conversion, either! I’m feel like I am a Jew. But, I’m not now!” 

She stood up and Keita tried to absorb it all, “But, you could find a sympathetic rabbi, I’m sure.” She turned around, her face hard, “You have no idea how fucking ridiculous that is! It’s insulting! I can’t do anything till I know how it will affect my life and my parents now. If I’m not Jewish and have to convert, my parents could be punished for lying to emigrate and my position inside the army and my status to marry is changed! I couldn’t marry inside of my own country if I wasn’t Jewish! I have to keep this secret in Israel but it doesn’t change the fact that I can’t marry in my tribe, either! They have forbidden me because of my mother and biological father! Do you know what that’s like!?” 

She stormed out of the cabin and he went after her. He stumbled on the rug and she left the door swinging as she stepped off the stairs, “I’m sure you’ve never had to keep a secret this big just so you could do something important! I’ll go out into the forest to die. I’d rather do that then keep on going in this lie of a life!” 

Keita stumbled on the steps and fell to the ground on his knees. His head was spinning and he was fading in and out. His throat was sore, lymph node swollen. He felt nauseous again. She turned to look at him, “What is wrong with you!? Before I die, at least tell me that.” 

He looked at her. There was a moment where he hesitated but it didn’t matter anymore, “I have cancer.” 

She didn’t move, “W-what?” 

He looked at her, his body going limp, “I have cancer…..leukemia, specifically. I haven’t told anyone or they’d not have let me come on this mission and I’d never be able to right the wrongs I’ve done. This is my big secret.” 

He was so tired. His head fell down and he admired the approaching black soil spotted with white snow. 

* 

* 

* 

Keita woke with the sun filtering into the cabin. Jaffa was there with Maxim and Ilya. Maxim leaned over him, “Boker Tov. Today, we arrange for arms to be distributed and for group leaders to be chosen. Jaffa said you’d written in your journal how Zev and Gisela wanted it all and we’ll follow that unless it was changed?” Keita nodded. Maxim smiled, “Good. Jaffa is making breakfast. She says you have to eat or she’ll put you in a choke hold. Personally, I’d like for you to not and let me see her in action.” 

Ilya chuckled, “She is making a great breakfast. She said you drank with her last night and fell asleep. I told her you’ve not been eating and I’m afraid you’re going to gain a lot of weight now because of it. You need to. You look scrawny and that’s not _proper._ ” Jaffa managed a laugh, “Proper, it’s all he ever talks about.” 

Maxim’s eyes shimmered, “His father is the reason. Everything has to be proper for David Lavie. He’s very particular about societal matters.” She turned to look at him, “So, now I know where he gets it. I’ll let everyone at Aman know.” She had bags under eyes and they were still puffy from crying. Ilya and Maxim didn’t pry. It wasn’t worth it. 

Keita sat up and she placed a glass of orange juice in front of him. He gawked, “How did you get oranges?” She raised an eyebrow, “I went to the market.” He looked at the glass, “This costs a fortune.” Maxim and Ilya watched with interest. He drank some of it and she placed a few plates of food in front of him, ‘Eat or you can’t go on the mission. I don’t know what’s gotten into you. It’s like, I leave for four months and you try to do everything you can to rebel. I know it must be hard without me getting you food and running errands but do try to be an adult.” 

Ilya and Maxim chuckled. Keita said nothing and tried to eat as much as he could. She had small moments where she welled up but she was trying to hold herself together to not be a distraction. Dovid appeared, knocking, “Miss Meir, your father had to leave suddenly. Your mother had an...incident? He said you’d understand. He left you a letter and said to tell you he loved you.” 

She took it and put it in her pocket, “I understand.” Dovid gave her a sympathetic look, “I’m sorry, Miss Meir. I really am.” She looked at him and Keita saw that strong woman who had impressed so many and rose up through the ranks to become his bodyguard, secretary, and the trainer for many other women with similar talents. “I don’t need your sympathy. I don’t belong here and it’s been made clear that all that I have done since I was child means very little to you all. I will finish this mission and then I will leave. You will never see me again and I will close this chapter of my life. I am not a woman with iron teeth and I never will be. Spare me your words.” 

Dovid sputtered and stepped back. He’d not anticipated such harshness, “Miss Meir, we do appreciate it and we don’t want it to be like that.” She was cold, “What am I? What am I to you?” He stared, “Please, don’t do this.” She spooned out a large amount of oatmeal and slapped it on Ilya’s plate making him jerk, “Say it!” He looked at her helplessly, “Please.” 

She stepped back, her head held high, ‘I’m a goy. I’m a non-Jew. I cannot marry any of you and even if I convert I still cannot marry into you because I am not a woman with iron teeth by blood. I am nothing to you. I am worse than a mamzer! This is not the place for me and if it was I’d never had been humiliated like I was. Leave this cabin and never speak to me again!” 

Dovid did as she asked and Maxim cleared his throat, “So, tonight I take it you’ll be in Keita’s group and when we’re finished you’ll need to head to the airfield?” She sat down and Keita slowly forced more food into his mouth. 

* 

* 

* 

They stood in darkness. 

Some in the trees. 

Some in the streets. 

In hallways, alleys, and city centers. 

Some stood before rows of houses and cabins. 

There was a quiet that settled in around them. 

Their clothes black as night. 

Their eyes inky and dark. 

Huddled close together, they waited for their signal. 

A flag, a light in the window, a whistle, a pop, a hand motion. 

Then they surged forward. 

Thier feet crunching gravel, echoing on cobblestone, and clamoring on stone. 

The night was bitter and cold. 

The sky bled. 

And so did the Reiss family. 

* 

* 

* 

Levi pulled Eren closer, “No, don’t go.” Eren kissed him, turning in his arms, “Fuck me, Levi.” Levi pushed him on his back, his lips traveled up and down his body while Eren opened up to him beautifully, allowing them to make love in the early morning. 

Armin and Erwin were packing to head to Yoni and Hannahlore’s house when they got a phone call, “Bring Dedka! It appears that our little baby made an early appearance. We called Mila and Nikko to come back over and it was too late. Hannahlore gave birth in the tub and everything was fine. It was maybe two hours tops. Nikko and Mila are the new baby squad.” 

Armin and Erwin ran to Levi and Eren’s room, bursting in on them and their love making. Levi rolled his eyes as Erwin slapped his ass, “COME ON! I’M A GRANDFATHER AGAIN!” Eren wasn’t pleased, “I was about to come again.” Armin snickered, “WE GET TO SEE A BABY! WE GET TO SEE A BABY!” They dressed and got Zad. 

Zad was getting really old. He kept to himself and ran his business. Armin would sit with him and fight with him on Sundays while Erwin took him to museums. Levi would fight him at the gym occasionally to keep him in shape and Eren made him whatever we wanted to eat. He had a good life with grandkids and great grandkids. 

But, he was forgetting things. 

He was losing his sense of reality. 

And he was looking for her all of the time. 

Sometimes, all he did was ask about Marilyn and look for her. Erwin would get depressed and Armin would try to smooth things over with excuses about where she was. He would remember she was dead and become cold, wanting to re-read her letters and work on his woodworking hobby. 

Today was a good day, though. 

He appeared at the door, “Hey, little transvestive, Yoni had his baby?” 

Armin nodded, “Yeah, get in the car loser.” 

Zad walked by and stuck his finger in Armin’s ear, “So feisty. I see another wrinkle appeared today. You’re like a house with a bad foundation. Cracks all over the place.” 

Armin slapped his hand away, “Fuck you.” 

* 

Hannahlore kissed her child all over as Mila cleaned and tidied up the loft. Nikko was also busy putting things up and making sure the nursery was outfitted with everything they needed. Lylah was with Hanji and Oskar so they were able to work without worry. Yoni was calling everyone he knew, opening champagne, ordering food for the brit milah, and for his wife’s courage to be written about in the shul newsletter. 

Nikko and Mila made all things easy and calm. When Berkovitch arrived to write the birth certificate, he gave Yoni a huge hug and his wife blessed Hannahlore for finally having a child. Mila held Nikko’s hand tightly and he thought she wanted to say something but she didn’t. Their parents arrived and then the rest of the family. The loft was bustling, children were everywhere, but all eyes were on Hannahlore and Yoni. 

Zad held his newest great grandson, “What have you named this beautiful child?” He was golden, radiatent. He remembered how Erwin had looked. Hannahlore was there in his features and his coloring for sure. This would be a beautifully handsome person when they grew up. 

Yoni turned to Hannahlore, “Mother, you should pick the name, not I. You alone created this child and I am in awe of you.” Hannahlore smiled and kissed him, “You’re so dramatic.” Mikasa and David were now holding him, loving him, and enjoying what it felt like to be grandparents. Eren was crying because he was so moved. Levi tried to hide his tears like a respectable person. But, when David looked at him and they shared a moment, a moment from their childhood, he nearly sobbed. 

“Tovia Solomon. I hope my son knows that he is named after two of the strongest men I know and that he exemplifies their good qualities. He has also proven himself over this pregnancy to be difficult, unpredictable, stubborn, mischievous, and surprising.” She smirked and Mikasa laughed, “Then why not name him Judah and be done with it?” They all laughed as Judah held up his champagne and blushed. Aviva and Gaia were with him in his arms and Armin and Erwin were doing their best to move past their uncomfortableness. 

Hannahlore, Mikasa, and David had called Keita many times but there was no answer. They were not panicking yet, but it was sad he was missing. Many of the family members were missing. It was only luck that Yoni had not left to meet Ezra. 

They spent the rest of the day celebrating before word reached them that the first part of the plan had been accomplished. 

Armin looked at Eren, “So, now, we need to deploy the troops to all locations in North Africa. South America will be hard but not like Africa.” Eren nodded, “I have made contact with the remnants of those who used to run the water filters in Turkey. They’re ready to help in anyway they can. I asked them to come here to the states in case we need them. Nikko has promised that Ezra has everything under control but I want to be sure.” 

Armin nodded, “I think Sebastian has already gone to Arkansas.” He said it with an upturn to his mouth. Eren smiled, “Ran like a dog. Kristia, Historia, whatever, she could have been something other than a pawn of her father’s.” He felt odd suddenly, “Once she’s out of the picture, things will be better, right?” 

Armin hugged him, “Who knows? All we know from our memories is that we left her in the capital with that orphanage and that was it. She was a queen. But, what queen lets the titans come into power and then hunts her friends down?” 

Levi waved for them to come on an Zad kissed Tovia in Mikasa’s arms, “He’s beautiful. Mazel Tov on your first of many grandchildren.” David shook Zad’s hand, “Mazel on your second great grandson.” Ilan was fussy as Cesare walked by. Zad took him and smiled, “Two boys and two girls. It’s a beautiful life.” 

Mikasa kissed Tovia, “I wish your uncle could see you.” 

Her heart hurt for her son. 

* 

* 

* 

Keita was exhausted. He was barely able to make it to the airfield. Maxim and Ilya were concerned, “Let us go to Israel with you.” Jaffa had her bags to the side of the donkey cart before letting the man have his pay and sending him off. She looked at Keita, “I’m going back to Israel. I take care of him by myself normally. I think I can manage.” 

Ilya pulled his head to the side, “What’s really going on with him?” She was unreadable, “He’s just sick. A cold that’s gone on too long. Men are ridiculous as well. We women can have flu and climb a mountain. If you get a cold it’s the end of the world and you need a will drawn up.” 

Ilya smirked, “Well, that’s true. I’m that bad. I do it to make Maxi shower me with attention and then I make a sudden recovery in time for sex. It’s a great plan.” 

Maxim walked by carrying some tarps, “It’s not exactly a secret, idiot.” He was being helped by Keita who had somehow found the energy to do something. Jaffa wasn’t pleased, “Keita, sit down!” He looked at her, feverish and heavily medicated, “That’s Colonel Lavie, Captain Meir.” She raised an eyebrow, “Maybe in Israel, but outside of it I’m in charge. Sit down and rest!” She took up the chores while they waited for the plane to arrive. He faded in and out of consciousness. 

The next time he was consciously aware, he was in Israel. 

* 

* 

* 

It’s chronic leukemia, Mr. Lavie. It’s not looking like a normal case of it, either. We know you’ve been taking medication and you were open to chemo. The serum that your family is known for hasn’t worked and after the recent tests we need to have a frank talk. Is it….are you sure…..are you sure that you would like Miss Meir to be present since she isn’t your wife?” 

Keita was slumped in his chair, face grim. Jaffa had brought him straight to the hospital and he’d been admitted for dehydration and exhaustion. Now, they were meeting with the doctor to find out what the next course of action was for him. He’d not told Jaffa to leave, so she’d seized the opportunity to take care of him and remain by his side as she was accustomed to doing. 

Keita took a deep breath, “Yes, Jaffa is my assistant and the closest person to me in Israel. She is the only friend I have here.” She turned her head to look at him, “You have lots of friends.” Her protest amused the doctor but Keita didn’t hear what he heard, “They’re colleagues. I don’t trust them like I do you or tell them things like I do you. You’ve dealt with me in my true form for this long and haven’t requested a transfer. I’d say I call that friendship because I don’t know any other word for it.” 

She kept looking at him like she didn’t speak Hebrew anymore, “But, an assistant is not a friend?” He shrugged, “I have….I have more of an attachment and fondness for you than a regular assistant. I take pleasure in you more than others and I think that makes you a friend in my book. I’d do you favors and such as I would a friend. You’ve just never asked.” She gawked, “I’m employed! I cannot ask my employer for a favor! HaShem, you’re so sick you’ve forgotten how to be proper!” 

She looked at the doctor, “Please, how do we return him to…. _him?_ This weak improper man is not him.” 

The doctor frowned, clasped his hands, and sighed. She remembered all the trips her father took her mother on and all the time they spent in the hospital getting bad news. Her stomach dropped and she felt helpless. 

“Mr. Lavie, we’ve come to the end. Chemo is not going to help you. It’s not about quantity of life, but quality. We would not want you to spend the last month of your life sick from chemo when you’ll have effects from the cancer itself on top. We have never seen a mutation like yours and we will do our best to study it and search for a cure for others. You can know that you’re legacy will live on but we think it best that you return to your home, go on sabbatical, and enjoy your family while you can. We will provide written proof for your employer…”


	183. Vessel

[Jaffa](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/0c/3c/1a/0c3c1ab61ea01f0ed7ddcab06daf4cd9.jpg) ([2](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/6e/f9/01/6ef9017684fe54b684da80f9804aba23.jpg) [3](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a5/8f/8c/a58f8c4817bc31115340d10880529a0d.jpg)) and [Keita](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/b8/75/3d/b8753de35ad784699e3dcc973c77b26e.jpg) ([2](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/c2/49/c0/c249c05948c57ed4ec37ad59bf631d00.jpg) [3](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ee/0c/77/ee0c775cdd778e4d15eb3b29fc1bfe4c.jpg))  
[Bianca](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/7a/7b/ef/7a7bef757f3527af12aa3b2923e067bb.jpg) and [Tuvia](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/d7/1f/e2/d71fe248e0117f498eb14f51822fbb46.jpg)  
[Gio](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/35/5a/6f/355a6f33ea429709cde1b179a020fe54.jpg) and [Europa](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/2f/3d/09/2f3d0980f4c74446d5848de4b41d9262.jpg)  
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Jaffa laid her head down on the kitchen table while the water heated on the stove. Keita’s apartment ( [1](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/df/24/7c/df247c545d961649ba6d6c3d6fa6c7c4.jpg) [2](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/70/cd/09/70cd09eaf16e151caa05ad01097864f9.jpg) [3](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/9a/98/e5/9a98e518b022641734fd0a6044a627b9.jpg) [4](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/64/80/6a/64806aa1e4a18963331ef4d42a6118a6.jpg) [5](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/9b/c8/66/9bc8663747f5eb159ab642366bc9e4bd.jpg) [6](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/df/45/6d/df456d1a8999ca56d9d167a317b4f044.jpg) [7](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/80/02/b3/8002b3bdefe9a55b852147b49c8d7eb5.jpg) [8](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/86/ee/0f/86ee0f8ba5e10f985368da1cc8007955.jpg) [9](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/c4/29/21/c42921c505017ebc3488100453713157.jpg) [10](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/86/ed/c3/86edc3209e8bbda13edc29d10b0d5bd8.jpg) was clean and she liked it a lot. It always made her feel calm when she was here and it made her wonder what he was like as a child. 

She’d find him reading in his office, working, and planning. He was a quiet man and didn’t need a lot of people or things. He liked quality finishes in his home decor. In fact, his apartment looked as if it had been designed just for him. She looked for family photos but found none. He seemed to not display them and she wondered, for not the first time, why that was. 

When Jaffa had met Gisela she had seen it. Everything about her was admirable and she’d enjoyed spending a few nights with her getting to know her better. She was a hard worker, good soldier, and had made an impression on all who had worked with her. Jaffa had asked to have her as a commanding officer but Keita had removed her from her unit. She scowled at the memory. 

Gisela had swore it was because they would have got on too good and he worried she’d spy on him for her or not be loyal to him anymore. She had a point. Gisela and she clicked in an effortless way. But, it did make her a little uncomfortable thinking about how much he loved her. Even with Zev present she saw how he looked at her. 

Jaffa frowned and then snapped out of it. She had bigger things to think of. 

He had passed out leaving the doctor. She thought about his family and when they got home she asked if they knew. Of course, not but she still asked. He took some medicine and felt even more ill. “You pushed yourself too far!” She was annoyed and he looked pitiful. “Colonel Lavie, this is abuse of power having me carry you all over Israel! I’m not on the clock either. This isn’t proper.” 

He passed out and she cradled his head against her chest as the taxi sped through the multitude of cars and spidery streets. 

Now, she was walking through the apartment after being away for a few months. She knew the rooms well but there was now a nursery. She had no idea why a single Jewish man had a nursery. 

She entered his room and sat by the bed, “Keita?” He groaned, feverish and shaking under the blankets. The Siberian cold had done him in and his weakened immune system, “Keita?” She said his name softly, soothingly. She reached out to touch his face. 

His lips moved, “You always smell so good.” She snorted, “I bathe often. Your family, don’t you think you should tell them?” He was having a hard time getting warm and his fever must be making him fade in and out of dreams or nightmares, “No, don’t. They’d worry. You really do smell so good. Even after PT….like...coconuts. It’s my favorite. I’m so cold.” 

She placed another blanket on him but worried he’d get too hot and sweaty. She took his phone and looked through his contacts. Maybe she should call Gisela? No, not with whatever happened between them after Zev came back. He’d not told her but she could tell that something had changed between then men. 

She thought about reading his file. 

Her fingers found who she was looking for and she pressed call. 

It rang and rang. 

“Keita? Where have you been? We’ve been calling you and Maxim says you’re in Israel.” 

“Ma’am, my name if Jaffa. I’m Keita’s bodyguard.” 

“Oh…” 

“Mrs. Lavie, Keita is sick and that’s why I’m calling. He fell ill in Russia and I brought him with me back to Israel. We’ve gone to the doctors and he was admitted to the hospital for three days for exhaustion and dehydration. Unfortunately, he has been keeping a secret from us, you and your family I mean.” Jaffa took a deep breath, “He has cancer. Leukemia…..and it’s a rare form that they have never seen with all sorts of complications that has stopped them from finding a solution or path to healing for him. He has taken the serum, they’ve done pills, therapy, radiation and a few rounds of chemo but nothing is going to work. He is dying.” 

Mikasa heard the break in the girl’s voice. She looked around her white marble desktop with her swatches and designs. She looked at the way her interns walked around happily working. “Thank you for telling me. I must inform his father. I will be in touch.” She hung up, grabbed her purse and walked outside. 

The cars were still moving, people were walking, laughter could be heard, the sun was shining, and she was a grandmother. Her chest started to tighten as she neared the door to her building. The metal doors were open allowing her to quickly use her keycard and enter. 

She took the stairs up to her apartment, her hand shaking on the door knob. Mikasa was a strong woman but it wouldn’t have surprised anyone to see her now on the floor, choking for breath, and crying. Her son was dying? How could that be? He was only twenty-eight. He had to get married, have kids and grandkids, and then retire at seventy and- 

She wallowed a little bit longer in her sadness before finding in herself the strength to pull herself together, sit up, and start a plan of some sort. 

When David came home that evening she was standing in the kitchen with a look on her face that made him pause, “Oh, dear. What’s wrong?” She cleared her throat and told him. He took it horribly and she made tea that she placed by him on the side table before she wiped his face. He held his head in his hands and she kissed the top of his head. 

David listened to his wife and then took her hand, “We’ll talk to Levi and ask if he can help. I think we should go to be with him. He’s obviously very sick and I don’t think he’d want to leave Israel.” She frowned, “But, this is his home.” David looked at the floor, “No, my love. Israel is every Jew’s home. Plus, moving him would be cruel if he’s in such bad shape he can’t even call. I suppose the doctors will have his charts and information so that’s also a plus.” 

She called Levi and told him what was going on. Soon, word spread. 

Erwin and Zev were looking at maps of America trying to figure out where Reiss territory began and where it ended. “There is a natural mountain range here and then the dessert over on this end. I imagine that this is where they’d naturally build.” Erwin agreed, “And I’m sure they made some sort of underground city like in the past.” Zev was ironically stating the obvious, “I bet it’s better built with today’s modern technology.” 

Gisela appeared, “I can’t find them anywhere in the ghetto.” Erwin thought she was referencing the Lenzes but then she tossed gummie bears on the table. He watched his son beam, “GIGI! You found them!” She rolled her eyes, “I had to leave to get them. Apparently, President Reiss is trying to deny the good people of the south candy.” She kissed Zev as he quickly ripped the package open. 

She sat down, “The Wall, how loyal are they to you?” Erwin heard Armin returning but he answered anyway, “Very. We have an arrangement.” Armin looked upset, “You can’t go out west for recon for a few days.” Erwin frowned and Zev stopped chewing his mouth full of gummy bears. Both were in unison, “What?! Why?” Gisela’s body tensed up, “What’s wrong with Keita?” Armin’s mouth fell open in desperation, “Um, God, I wish you couldn’t do that. Keita is sick so I let Mikasa and her family take the planes to Israel.” 

Zev looked at Gisela who was currently fidgeting with her hair, “What does he have?” Armin was trying to not be upset, ‘Cancer.” Zev’s face fell. He turned away to stack some paper while Gisela merely stared like her father: blank and pointedly. Erwin gasped lightly, “HaShem…..refua shlema (full recovery/get well soon).” He thought about it, “Is Levi?” 

Amrin nodded, “He is. He’s going to try and help. Apparently, he’s nearing death’s door and the serum doesn’t work due to a mutation.” Zev stood up and took the papers out of the room. Gisela kept staring but now at the table and at nothing in particular. Armin took Erwin’s hand, “Mikasa and David are devastated. We know that feeling.” His voice broke and Erwin gave his hand a reaffirming squeeze, “We do. Let’s be a help to them in their time of need. The war…..it will just have to be delegated differently. Tuvia and Ezra are returning soon. Once we have everyone here we can plan better.” 

Armin looked at the plans in front of them, “First, we take care of our family, secondly we do recon, then we redouble our efforts to find out who The Soldiers are and take them out so they can’t help the Reiss family, then we fight the Reiss, and lastly, we destroy The Wall.” Armin thought about Abulafia and all he’d been through. It had been almost thirty years but that didn’t make it better. 

Gisela stood up, “I’m tired. I think Zev is, too. We’ll be at home if you need us.” Erwin and Armin nodded. They still planned on keeping at it to distract them. 

Gisela saw Zev folding laundry with Zad in the laundry room. “Dedka, what can the tribes do?” Zad took a deep breath, “They don’t have superpowers, gisele. They can withstand the Reiss pull, feel them in their bones, and they can fight. They can fight well and if you can convince them to use actual guns then there is a chance.” Zev was contemplative, “How would we amass that many guns?” Zad reached over and ran his hand through Zev’s messy hair, “Ask your brother-in-law.” 

Gisela thought about the basement of the club and the one room she’d never gone in or asked about. She’d just figured it was a storage room. It made her smile that he brother had helped them. Zev heard her footsteps approach, “Katzchen, let’s go home.” She smiled, “Yes, let’s.” 

They hugged and kissed their dedka and went to their car. 

Zev’s silent plea to not talk about anything was made clear to her by the way he picked her up and carried her to their room. They heard Judah and Aviva talking in the dance room as they walked by but Zev’s mind was on Gisela and Gisela alone. 

He let her down on the bed, his lips covered hers. She held his face between her hands as he undressed haphazardly and she thought of how lucky she was, not for the first time, to be able to touch him after all they’d been through. He picked her up, pulled her shorts off and then wrapped her legs around his waist. 

She gasped at being filled by him and he kept kissing her as he roughly fucked her on the edge of the bed. She liked it and she liked the grunts he made. Her hand moved down, her fingers in a V to tighten around his cock and it pumped in and out of her. He hissed and kissed her neck. She threw her head back and focused on them and nothing else. 

But, Keita was dying and she couldn’t and wouldn’t kill the sadness that existed deep in her marrow over that. 

* 

* 

* 

Zev woke up with Gisela missing. He sat up in the bed but then fell back down. He didn’t have the strength to get up yet. He reached for his phone and called Judah, “Hey.” 

Judah hissed, “ARE YOU CALLING ME AND IN THE HOUSE WITH ME?’ 

Zev was too tired to even enjoy how upset he’d made him, “Can we hangout?” 

Judah huffed, “When I get back from work. Aviva and I were up all night. She’s with Gisela at Vati’s shop.” Zev hummed, “Come kiss me.” Judah scoffed, “No.” Zev frowned, “Why?” Judah’s voice was matter of a fact, “Because you want it. Call someone else.” 

He hung up and Zev dialed his brother, “Yoni?” 

It sounded like something was going on, “Zev? Are you….calling about Keita?” Zev grimaced, “Murrgehh.” Yoni laughed shortly, “That’s not a word! Well, it’s bad here. Hannahlore will not listen to reason. She’s determined to go and Tovia is so young that I just don’t know if it’s good. I’m upset, too. It’s just...she’s my wife and just….Zev, women are fucking terrifying. She made a person and pulled it out of her womb in a tub of water. I have never been so in awe and fear in my life. My wife was making eyes and arms while going about her daily life.” 

Yoni was quiet, “She put up with me while making another person.” Zev laughed, “Women are better than men in my opinion. They’re definitely stronger. Listen, she wants to go and you know you can’t stop her. But, waiting is maybe best because she can’t have healed yet.” 

There was silence for a while. 

Yoni’s whisper would have been comical if it wasn’t so serious, “Or has she?” 

Zev smirked, ‘Call Nikko and Mila to come over and they can advise from a point of view that’s removed.” Yoni sighed, “I love you, brother. Are you well? Is Gisela treating you well?” Zev smiled, “Yes! We’re leading such an awesome life.” Asher jumped on the bed and Zev pet him. Uzi and Asher went everywhere with them like shadows. In fact, they didn’t keep them on leashes half the time. The dogs just hovered unless Gaia was around. They tended to sit near her when she was present which both men didn’t mind. 

He hung up and closed his eyes, “Asher, you’re the only one I can tell every secret to because you can’t speak.” Asher licked his hand and Zev laughed. 

* 

* 

* 

Keita woke for only short moments of time. He sometimes cried out for his mother and it made Jaffa’s job harder. She went about trying to make him as comfortable as possible. Sometimes, he’d grab her hand and talk more about how good she smelled. He would ramble about the reasons he was dying and should die. 

Some of what he was saying made her truly upset. 

She decided to investigate this matter and break her own rules. 

After growing up the way she did, she respected privacy and never asked to know more than she needed. She never stepped out of her boundaries and stayed cautiously aware of everything around her. Personality evaluations were her specialty and her evaluations had impressed those at the Mossad. 

Jaffa had read Keita’s report and found that they would be a good match on paper. She never questioned being placed with him based on that. He was aggressive, sometimes overestimated his talents, analytical, critical, and a natural leader. He was punctual, a traditionalist and conservative, followed rules, loyal, had clear sense of right and wrong, and a myriad of other descriptors that basically made him at once perfect for the Aman and not suitable for Mossad. His sometimes ruthless convictions made him make critical mistakes. As long as he was slightly removed and nothing was personal, he was great. 

Jaffa was calm under pressure, convicted and devoted, loyal, cautious, analytical and emotional, humorous sometimes, and even a little more traditional and conservative than she’d like to admit. This is why she had found working with him difficult but also easy. He was what he was and who he was. There was nothing he really lied about and he was well liked by those who had never crossed him and even begrudgingly by those who had. 

Now, she was reading the files on Zev and Gisela he had and her view of him shifted slightly. How could such a man as he do something so awful? She thought about it a little more critically while listening for him if he cried out. She pulled another file out and had no idea what it was doing there with the others. He wasn’t the contact on this file and he wouldn’t have taken it just to take it. This must be a friend of his or someone related to them? She didn’t know but she read the file looking for patterns. 

After a while she called her father and mother to tell them she was still working and check in on them. She was thinking about Mikasa’s promise to call back. She didn’t think her reaction had been normal but Jaffa admitted to herself that she had no idea how a mother should react to something like that. She had promised to call back. She had promised and if she was the mother of Keita Lavie then she was a woman of her word. 

He cried out for pain medicine. She got up and gave him some. His eyes were open, “You don’t have to do this.” His voice was weak. She looked down at him, “Who else would? I’m your bodyguard.” He looked at her, “I’m sorry, I’ve lied to you.” She sat down and looked confused and shocked, “What?” He closed his eyes, coughing violently from the cold that was actually killing him, “I said I liked your veggie shashushka and I lied. I thought it was gritty.” 

She laughed shortly, “That’s not such a big lie.” He opened his eyes again, “I also sometimes caught myself leering at you and I hope you can forgive me. I was not being proper.” That surprised her, “You did?” He looked shameful, “I’m not proud of it at all.” She took his temperature, “HaShem, Keita….104.1. I’m going to call the doctor. You’ve got to get through this.” 

He grabbed her hand, “Please don’t leave.” She looked at his hand and the lack of strength in it was unthinkable. He had picked her up, thrown her around, pulled men out of holes, and he’d almost broke her father’s arm. Keita was strong and this was the most upsetting revelation. She looked at the pills she had to give him. The pail for vomit she’d already changed. Suddenly, the world was closing in on her. 

Jaffa put his hand under his blanket, “Don’t be weak, Keita. I’ll be right back.” 

She went to the kitchen and started to cry while moving things around and thinking about Keita possibly actually dying. It hit her harder than she’d like to admit. 

She returned with mint water so famous in Israel, cool pads, and cold yogurt. She sat him up, wiped his face, and fed him ice chips. He relaxed once she gave him his pills. The yogurt was smooth on his tongue and he thanked her constantly. She wasn’t used to so much praise from him. 

He opened his eyes, “Your mother...how is she?” Jaffa’s stomach clenched, “Better.” His breathing was labored. The doctor said he had bronchitis from his time in Russia and the cold. She didn’t know what to do to make him better. That feeling had plagued her her entire life. Keita coughed, “I’m sorry to pry, but what happened to her?” 

Jaffa smoothed her hand over the blanket, “My mother has something that she’s had since I was born. I don’t really ever talk about it. When her sickness is bad, we call them incidents. My father and mother have searched for a cure for a long time and she has tried different types of therapies to manage it. She does well. The incidents are few and far between.” 

Jaffa started to open up, “She married my father during the plague.” 

”I remember standing in the line at the courthouse before they shut everything down. My Ima was marrying my Aba and I was so happy. Then I was suddenly taken to the village in Siberia. I spoke nothing other than Hebrew and some English. I couldn’t understand anything and I missed my Ima. My Aba showed me off and tried to make things fun but it’s was tense.” 

“I remember waking up and knowing that the Reiss had come to try and steal me.” Keita was trying to hold on to his conscious thought, “Reiss wanted you?” She sighed, “Well, they wanted children with iron teeth. I’d have been a dud for sure. Anyway, my Ima and Aba had prepared me my entire life for the day they would come. I used to have nightmares they’d come to get my Ima but Aba told me that they couldn’t come to Israel. I think that was when I really started to want to protect Israel and give my life for my country. It was safety for so many and my Ima said she's never been happier anywhere else.” 

Keita enjoyed Jaffa’s story and he enjoyed her voice. It was soothing like Mikasa’s and had a kind delivery. He liked it much better than when she was stern with him and snappy. Except, sometimes he liked her worked up. “What’s your father do? I’ve never asked.” She smirked, “He’s a jeweler. He started out as laborer and then a man who had no sons took a liking to him. He trained with him and then took over the business when the man was killed.” Keita noted she seemed very sad, “I really liked him. He treated me like a granddaughter.” 

“He used to want to see these….I don’t know what you call them but they’re paper cut outs by someone named Cesare Kirschtein. I’ve been getting them since I was little by my uncles. They’re not my biological uncles. My Ima and Aba are only children.” Keita smiled but it looked more like a grimace, “Cesare is my cousin.” Jaffa’s face was shocked, “What?! Really?!” Keita groaned in pain for a second, “Mhm, he is. Not by blood but I grew up with him as a cousin. He’s such a hot head.” 

She smiled, “He is?” Keita started coughing again and she placed another cold compress on his chest. “Hush for now.” Keita slipped back into a fevered sleep. 

* 

* 

* 

Eren was looking at his upcoming appointments when he felt the familiar urge to go _there._ He grabbed his keys, called the clinic, and grabbed his small backpack that was stocked for spur of the moment overnight trips. He didn’t think he’d need it but still. 

He walked by Levi’s office and entered, “Bae?” Levi was cleaning his shelves off, “Brat?” Eren’s voice was raised slightly, “I’m going to check on the other hospital. I’ll be back tonight or tomorrow morning. Don’t worry.” Levi was about to turn around when Eren’s arms wrapped around him and his lips pressed against his neck. 

“I love you!” 

Then Eren was gone. 

Levi kept cleaning as the day drug on. After a while, he put on his swimsuit and found Erwin, “Come swim with me.” Erwin put his paperwork down, “I would love to.” He changed and went downstairs to see Levi stepping into the pool. Erwin walked around the edge of the pool watching Levi backstroke. He turned the hose on and sprayed Levi while laughing. 

Levi swam to the edge to crawl out. He chased Erwin around till he threw him in. Erwin brought him with him, pulling Levi into his arms and kissing him. Levi squirmed and pushed him away, “Get the fuck away, man.” Erwin grinned, “Hurtful.” Levi swam around while he Erwin talked about their kids and future. “Let’s go on another honeymoon after the war, Lee.” Levi swam into his arms, settling with his legs around Erwin’s waist. 

He kissed him slowly, sensually, “Yeah, if we make it then let’s go on a few.” 

Erwin and Levi got out of the pool and showered. Erwin told Levi to relax while he cooked. He brought him a beer and covered him with a fur blanket. One of the cats jumped up on the couch to purr and be stroked. Blitzen returned from getting some water. He’d joined them in the pool much to Levi’s chagrin. Good thing he’s gotten a professional dog groomer blow dryer. 

Blitzen liked the cats and the cats like him. He put his head on Levi’s leg and when Erwin came to give him another drink he saw him petting both of them at the same time. Erwin chuckled, “There’s not enough Lee for everyone.” 

The front door opened, “It smells like….like _daddy_ is cooking.” Laughter echoed in the foyer and Erwin threw something that clanked on the floor. Nikko appeared, not in a suit for once. He was smiling like he had a secret. He came to Levi who started to grin in response to his son’s gleeful face. 

“Aba, I have something I want to tell you before anyone else.” 

Levi leaned forward and the animals moved, “What?” 

Nikko was giddy and his face child like, “Aba, I am so excited!” 

His voice was hushed and Levi reached out to take his hand, “Nikko, tell me!” He covered his Aba’s hand with his own, “Mila is pregnant again.” 

Levi stood up excitedly, “She is!?” He kissed his son’s cheek and they hugged. Nikko was so happy and it made Levi even happier. Nikko pulled back from Levi, “We were open to it and it just happened. Mila and I have been praying for the perfect time. HaShem listened! Mila thinks it’s another girl but I think it’s a boy. However, whatever it is we’re so happy.” 

Levi held his son’s face between his hands, “I am so happy for you and proud of you.” Nikko beamed, “You’re the best Aba and I strive to be as good as you.” Erwin appeared, “It’s time for dinner. Hey, Nikko, why don’t you stay and we can all eat….in _here._ ” Levi and Nikko froze, “In the _living room?_ ” Erwin grinned, “Yes, yes, in the living room. My two adorable little germ bugs. Let’s have a family night.” 

So, Levi sat on one side of the couch with Nikko in the middle and Erwin on the other end. They ate with TV trays and watched Cupcake Wars. Nikko leaned over on Erwin’s shoulder while Levi gently rubbed his shoulder and leg in a comforting way he’d done since he was a child. 

When Levi noticed his son was asleep he called Mila, “Mila, Nikko is asleep. Are you okay?” 

She giggled, “I’m fine. I’m glad he’s getting some sleep. He’s been so busy. I know he told you and I just told mom and apu. Lylah knows something is up and we hope that the pregnancy will go to term and be easy.” 

He hung up and moved his son to lay his head in his lap. Erwin smiled, “This is nice. Imagine an alternate reality where this was our life. You and me and our son. That’s also a beautiful thing.” Levi snorted, “I like our life with our husbands, eight kids, and four grandkids.” He looked at Erwin for a little bit in a longing way, “But, I do love being with you and I’d have loved a home with you and our child.” 

Erwin looked at him with love in his eyes. Then, he became more somber, “Tomorrow you leave.” Levi nodded, “Yes. I will leave tomorrow night. I’d like to wait for Eren to come back.” Erwin wondered where he was but he didn’t ask. Sometimes, he went missing but he did always come back. 

Levi picked his son up and brought him to his old room. He put him in bed and prayed over him. Erwin watched thinking about his own children. Levi had loved his children and prayed over them just like his own. He loved the way Levi looked. He loved the father that Levi was. 

When Levi turned to leave, he touched the corner of Nikko’s bed. Erwin opened his arms to him, “Come on, Lee.” Levi hummed, “You’re always trying to soften me.” Erwin smirked, “Does it ever work?” Levi grunted, “Sometimes.” 

Erwin led them to his bedroom and pulled him in his lap while they watched the news. He kissed his neck, lathering attention on certain spots. Levi closed his eyes as Erwin’s hands moved up his chest, lightly pinching and rolling his nipples. His breathing slowly became more laboured as one of Erwin’s hands moved up to his neck and then pushed his chin up and to the side where his lips could cover Levi’s. Levi moaned into the kiss as he rolled his hips teasingly back onto Erwin’s hardness. 

Erwin moved forward to take advantage of Levi’s sinful pressure. He enjoyed his smell, the way his hair tickled his face, the way his body was strong but soft, and he loved how he could cover him with his own form. He pulled Levi to the side on his back on the bed before moving over him. Levi’s fingers traced his lips before Erwin turned his sights on his collar bones, chest, stomach, and finally between his legs. 

They made love like a slow burn that night. Levi felt like Erwin was saying goodbye. He tried to push that thought out of his mind. 

* 

* 

* 

Eren pulled up to the driveway and parked. He sat in his car, heaving a sigh and grabbing a bottle of rum before getting out. 

He sat on the curb across the street looking at the house for a bit. No one was home in the house he was squatting in front of. He finished a quarter of the bottle off before pushing off the curb and heading into the house. 

He walked through the foyer and into the living room. He looked to the left where the kitchen is and then straight to towards the mantel. The house was bare, only a few pieces of furniture still arranged to give the illusion to potential buyers that this is a home. He looked to the left of the couch and thought about the pool of blood that used to be there. 

Levi had done his best to find buyers. But, Eren always pulled back from selling it. There came a moment in their relationship, their marriage, where this was becoming a serious problem. Levi couldn’t understand that Eren simultaneously couldn’t give the house away and wanted to give it away. 

Levi’s confusion started to pollute their conversations. Eren was causing his husband pain and with their newly born son and Zev’s medical issues, he had to come up with something. 

So, he pretended to be someone else and bought the house with money he’d had in a separate account from before they were married. He’d intended to sell it later and be done with it but he just couldn’t do it. 

He walked through the rooms slowly, drinking more and feeling sorry for himself. His mother had died here. She’d been happy here. His father had been happy here. It didn’t make sense for them to have died like they did. He still wanted to know who had killed his father and he craved revenge. 

Now, he stood in the basement. His face was lined with sadness. 

His father had spent a long time in this basement. He’d helped him build things, fix things, and learn. Sometimes, when Eren’s temper really got out of hand he’d had to stay down in the basement till he cooled off. When Mikasa moved in, she wouldn’t come down here. He didn’t really understand why. 

There were hardly any sentimental pieces left from his parents belongings in the house. Levi had stored most of it away and Eren brought only what looked good for staging back. He looked at his father’s oldest desk, not the one from his childhood memories but the one he’d retired before he was born. It was old, ugly and scratched. He moved his hand over it. 

His father had said the desk was a reminder of bad memories. Eren had never pressed him but when he did lightly, Grisha said it was because he’d had to work for mean people and a lot of patients died while he used the desk. Eren’s hand smoothed over the top and edges of the desk. 

Then, he felt a strange indentation. 

He knelt down to look up under the lip. 

There was a key hole. 

Eren’s hands fumbled as he took his key off of his necklace. He heard a pop. A drawer suddenly opened on the side of the desk. Eren’s heart was beating so fast. He couldn’t believe he’d missed something after all of these years! 

Eren pulled a journal from the drawer, another key, a few manila envelopes, and a birth certificate. 

Eren collapsed on his haunches. 

His lungs felt like they’d collapsed. 

He felt like he’d been walking through life in a dream. He’d been a househusband, a partner, a father, and he’d worked on his anger to the point where most of what was referenced was way in the past. He was the fun, carefree, happy, loving Eren. Ezra and he were seen in the same light. 

But, now, his anger was awoke with an acute rageful bursting forth of emotion that nearly incinerated him to ash. 

Eren was rage incarnate. 

He stood up, ripping open the envelopes. He tried to read carefully but his shaking prevented him from doing so. Eren put it all in his backpack, punched holes in the painted cinderblock walls, and passed out drunk. 

But, even in the blackness he was haunted. 

* 

* 

* 

Levi’s morning was filled by Erwin both figuratively and literally. He found himself stomach first on the mattress while Erwin’s tongue delved inside of his gaping hole. He’d finger fucked him awake, pulled him into his lap, and pounded into him while he was wiping sleep from his eyes still. There was passion between them like always. But, Erwin’s masochistic side had died down in his later years and Levi found himself more and more on his knees with him. 

However, not always. 

“Take my cock, you filthy whore.” He had Erwin bound and on his side on the chaise lounge in Levi’s room. He slide his wet cock in and out of his mouth, watching his pink full lips become pouty and swollen. He popped his cheeks before coming down his throat. “Swallow it all, maggot.” He watched as Erwin closed his eyes and desperately attempted to not let a drop go to waste. 

When he pulled out and went to the bathroom, he wondered about Eren. Erwin followed him and started brushing his teeth, “Hey, where is Eren?” Levi turned around, “He said he needed to check on the other hospital and that he’d be back either late last night or today.” Erwin spat and rinsed his mouth, “Hmmm that’s weird. I’ll check the gps on his car.” Levi gave him a reproachful look, “No, you won’t.” Erwin had his phone out, “I’ll text him.” 

Erwin sent the message off before pulling Levi to the shower, “Let’s shower and then get lunch?” Levi begrudgingly moved into the shower with him, “Whatever.” 

Levi liked the food at Gio’s and he also wanted to see the boy. Gio was currently back from touring around Italy in chocolatier competitions. Europa had gone with him and they had won big. Erwin drove them, holding Levi’s hand and smiling. When they got there, Marco was entering with a worried look on his normally bright and sunny face. Erwin tapped his shoulder, “Marco, what’s wrong?” 

Marco sighed, “Keita. I’m just so upset. We’re getting the kids schedules together to have them come. Jean is looking for a place to rent in Israel but...you know….it’s Jean. He says he can do it but do you think he’s learned Hebrew? No! I hope Armin takes over and helps him.” They walked in and Europa smiled ear to ear, “Marco! Erwin and Levi! Are you all here for lunch?” 

They smiled while they were sat in a more secluded part of the restaurant. Levi ordered tea and rugelach while Marco had an espresso and Erwin a sweet tea, “I’m having sweet tea because I’m sweet.” Erwin cocked his head to the side, smiled, and held up a peace sign while taking a selfie. Marco started giggling and Levi rolled his eyes, “Let’s order real food.” Gio walked over, “Um, dad? Hey…” 

Marco raised an eyebrow, “Sit down. You’ve got a problem.” Levi opened his arms in a welcoming motion, “Between your Jewish uncles and your italian father, we’ll solve your problem.” Gio sat down, “Is Keita really dying?” Marco nodded, “Yes and we’re going to make arrangements to be in Israel with him.” Keita had always been kind to Gio and played with him and tolerated him when others did not. “I’m just...having a hard time imagining that he’s not well. I normally ask him for advice and I could really use some right now from him.” 

Levi slid his food over to him, “Eat, eat! You should eat because you look gaunt.” Gio was huge like a bodybuilder. “Thank you, uncle Levi.” He seemed to think about his words, “I want to ask Europa on a date.” Marco and Erwin’s face lit up, “YES!” Levi patted his arm, “What’s kept you from asking for so long?” 

Marco smirked, “Her age.” Gio blushed, “Yes and she’s so pretty. It’s hard to talk to someone so pretty and nice. She smells good, too. I never wanted her to think I was pervy.” Erwin shrugged, “Well, Levi and I hooked some young ones. I think you’re in the clear. She’s about to be able to legally drink.” 

Marco was invested, “How are you going to ask her? It’s not a proposal but it’s the first date ask and it’s memorable.” Gio traced the tea saucer, “I was going to ask her to make candies for the church this weekend and then after church to lunch. That way, we could spend time working together and then have a lunch date?” Marco shook his head, “It’s so sweet I have diabetes but you need to be sure that she knows you’re asking her on a _date_ and not just a normal bite to eat.” 

Marco hummed and Erwin snapped his fingers, “Ask her to make a cake and then, write on the cake the question.” Levi snorted, “And ruin the cake? Forget about it. Make the cookies, finish packaging them, and then turn to her and say “Europa, I enjoy spending time with you. I want to take you out to dinner. Would you be open to going on a date with me?” 

Marco smiled, “I like it but how about “Europa, can I take you out to dinner?” Erwin sighed, “What about just, “Would you like to go on a date?” Levi shrugged, “It’s very simple.” Marco nodded, “Classic...can you give her flowers? Your papa asked me to dinner one time with flowers and it was amazing. Not all roses but a collection of pretty flowers and not red.” 

Levi wrote a number down on a card, “Ask Armin for this one from his shop. In fact, let me order it right now and it’ll be here in an hour.” Gio was happy to have such a wonderful family, “But, how do I date her? I really don’t want to mess it up. I, um, well, I…” Marco was giddy, “Do you love her?! Your papa and I have been hoping for so long!” Gio blushed, “I do. She makes my heart go crazy when she’s near me and I love Sasha and Connie. I couldn’t ask for better inlaws.” 

Erwin chuckled, “Already thinking about marriage.” He grinned but Levi noted a small hesitant pull in the corner of his mouth. Erwin was thinking about the future. They could very well die and never see if Gio and Europa actually wed. 

After Marco insisted that he do it today and the flowers arrived, Gio got up to hurriedly hide them and wait for the moment to ask Europa. Marco looked at Levi, “Where is Eren?” Levi told him he’d gone to the hospital. Marco nodded, ‘And Armin is with Yoni and Hannahlore. I don’t blame him. If I could work and see my grandbaby I would. I actually went to see Ilan this morning.” They all discussed their grandchildren and how wonderful they were. 

Their food arrived and Marco managed to drop a little bit of work into the discussion, “I heard the purge went well and now my colleagues say that trends in the underground have confirmed that there are no more Reiss in Russia, Ukraine, China, Japan, Spain, and a few other countries. Italy is on the fence. My family is worried about how dug in they are. There were a few attacks on my cousins in the cities.” 

Erwin and Levi listened and factored it into their plans. When Jean arrived, he had an itinerary and bookings. He was proud and Marco was relieved. Cesare and Ezra appeared with Ilan. Ezra looked like he’d seen better days, “Come over!” Levi stood up to kiss his other son, “When did you get in?” Ezra was holding Ilan in a carrier on his chest, “An hour ago. I’m so tired.” Levi lavished his son with affection while Erwin happily watched Marco and Jean love their grandchild. Cesare ate while he could before Ezra started competing for the rugelach. 

* 

* 

* 

Eren wasn’t going to make it in time and Levi needed to go. Erwin drove him to the airfield and they made out on the backseat of Erwin’s range rover. Erwin didn’t want him to go, “Lee, please.” Levi pulled back, “I have to go and do everything possible to save my nephew. My brother is suffering and MIkasa is devastated. He deserves a chance and I can give him one….or at least I hope I can.” 

Erwin pulled him back into his arms, “I love you.” Levi looked into his eyes, “What’s wrong with you?” Erwin shook his head, “Nothing.” Levi leaned forward, his lips covering his while his tongue plundered his mouth. Levi pulled back, “I’ll see you in Israel by the end of the week, commander.” Levi left the car and Erwin remained to wallow in his loneliness. 

* 

* 

* 

“Miss Meir, the pain is coming from the cancer’s side effects. He’s managed to make it past the fever and now, you can only keep him hydrated and comfortable. He will have moments where he can move and live normally, but his fatigue will catch up to him.” She put the phone down. Her eyes were wet. Keita’s pain had become so bad that all he did was ask for his mother. 

She heard someone trying to open the door and went to it. It opened and she stopped abruptly. A gorgeous woman stood before her. Her hair was raven and luscious, lips pale pink and shapely, and her eyes were striking and a shade of blue she’d never seen other than Keita’s. This woman must be his mother and Jaffa suddenly felt very ugly near her. 

“Are you Jaffa?” Her voice was soft and a little monotone. Jaffa nodded, “Yes, ma’am.” Mikasa was dressed impressively. For the first time she realized that this was the designer that was so popular in Israel. Jaffa was nervous suddenly. She had no idea what Keita had told his mother about her. Mikasa entered and put her bags down before heading straight to her son. Jaffa gave her privacy and put on some tea. 

She heard Keita speaking to Mikasa but she tried not to eavesdrop. After an hour Mikasa appeared, “You have his file from the doctor?” Jaffa went and got it for her. Mikasa read it carefully while Jaffa made her tea. 

Soon, Mikasa was wiping her eyes and standing, “I’m going to make some food. Do you have any allergies?” Jaffa shook her head no. She felt awkward, “Should I go so you can be with your son?” Mikasa began washing her hands, “Do you want to go?” Jaffa didn’t, ‘No.” Mikasa pulled a towel from the drawer to dry her hands with, “Then help me make lunch. The rest of the family will be here shortly.” 

Jaffa aided Mikasa in making food that she told her were some of Keita’s favorites. Mikasa wasn’t a talker and that was fine with Jaffa. It wasn’t like her silence was off-putting. It was comforting and warm. She made Jaffa feel like if she wanted to speak she could and this is how Keita was when they worked on less pressing matters. 

Mikasa let the soup simmer and sat down, “Jaffa, where are you from?” Jaffa sat down with her and pulled out a piece of paper she often folded and unfolded in order to focus better, “Israel. I was born in Siberia but I’ve lived my entire life here.” 

“Where in Siberia?” 

“In the villages of iron teeth.” 

Mikasa was surprised, “You have iron teeth?” She shook her head, “No. I would prefer we not speak of it. It’s a recent revelation and fresh wound.” 

“I understand. How long have you known Keita?” 

It stung a little that she knew nothing of her but then again, they were bound by silence legally. But, partners and bodyguards? Was she a secret? “I’m your son’s bodyguard. I’ve known him for a few years. I’m his secretary and personal assistant.” Mikasa’s was unreadable, “You work for Aman?” She shook her head, “Mossad. I’m assigned to him because _he’s_ Aman. The branches are separate in some ways and he’s much more suited for bureaucracy.” 

Mikasa smiled softly, “His father is also a bureaucrat. When Keita was young, he’d beg to go to work with him. We knew from the beginning this is where he was going to end up.” Jaffa smiled, “I’m the same way. I entered the army and I never wanted to leave. I wanted to make my country better so I finished my two years, went to school part time, trained, and now I’m here.” 

Mikasa was interested, “What did you study?” 

“Public Administration.” 

“How old are you? You really look very young.” 

“Twenty Eight.” 

“What’s it like working with my son?” 

Jaffa thought about it, “He is a man who knows what he wants and lives by a code. Working with him is challenging in that if you challenge him you better be prepared to fight your case. However, it’s very rewarding because results are always produced and you know that you’re both working towards a goal that ensures a better tomorrow.” 

She watched Mikasa smile widen, “He’s a pain but he’s loveable?” Jaffa laughed shortly, “Yes.” Mikasa tapped the table, “A mother knows her child. He’s really serious. He could do with letting things go a little more. He’s protective and I’m to blame. He’s inherited it from me, I’m sure.” 

“Where does his humor come from?” 

Mikasa seemed surprised by the question, “His father, for sure.” 

Jaffa smirked, “Well, that’s certainly the most talked about among us all at the agency.” Mikasa smirked, “Awww poor baby. Well, his father’s a little dry and I am, too but thankfully my friends have such an array of humor I’ve managed to pick it up. I can understand it, not recreate it.” 

Jaffa heard Keita shifting to leave his bed. She stood up and Mikasa remained seated. She wanted to see her in action with her son. Jaffa went to his room, “Lay down.” Keita grimaced, “I must relieve myself.” She was at his side, “Then give me your arm.” Keita looked shocked, “And have you, a lady, escort me to the bathroom? No. That’s just not done.” He moved towards the bathroom and she took his arm, “I won’t look.” 

He coughed harshly for a few moments, his hand instinctively going for hers to hold it till his fit passed. She looked at him pointedly, “You’re so hard headed.” He waved her off and moved forward, “You take your job too seriously.” She snorted, “Coming from you, that’s a compliment.” She helped him stand while he relieved himself and his shame was on his cheeks. 

She thought he looked cute and didn’t see what the issue was, “It wouldn’t be the first penis I’ve seen, you know. You’re acting like a pre-teen.” He gawked, “Jaffa!” She gave him an amused look, “Are you trying to pretend you’ve never helped change a child?” He knew she hadn’t meant it like that but she figuratively had him. If he admitted she was lying to make him look bad, then he’d have to admit he’d immediately thought about her and sex. Keita had a no gossip policy in his office and he had rule about discussing things like sex and other personal affairs. 

She waited and he tried to walk away, “You know, you never told me you were adding a nursery.” She tried to sound uninterested. He looked at her, “Well, you know I don’t talk about my private life. It became important to me that I prepare a nursery for the baby that will be spending half it’s time here.” Her face fell. She’d never known him to date, “You….have a baby?” She helped him back into his bed, “Well, we have a baby.” 

“Oh, so you’re not raising it alone?” 

Keita nodded, “I’m not exactly sure she’d be happy to give her baby over to me full time so no.” 

Jaffa’s face was colorless. 

Keita found it to be the most amusing thing. 

He didn’t know this would get such a reaction out of her. 

It made him wonder if she was jealous. Not that a man with a month to live had anything someone would be jealous of. 

She seemed to want to leave, “I’ll help your ima with lunch.” 

She left and he tried to go back to sleep. He couldn’t. All he could do was think about how she had pouted and started to fidget with her hands. 

Mikasa had overheard and said nothing. Jaffa was busying herself, “Are you happy to be a grandmother?” Mikasa shrugged, “It’s amazing. I’m so proud.” Jaffa nodded and pulled out the wooden tray that Keita could use to eat in bed. There was knock on the door, “Jaffa, will you get that, please?” Jaffa was all too happy to not see Keita while still in shock, “Yes, ma’am.” 

Jaffa opened the door to see another breathtakingly gorgeous woman with hair that disney princesses would have died for. She had to be Keita and Mikasa’s family with her eyes and lips. She had a baby in her arms, a newborn. It was beautifully swaddled with perfect features. A handsome blond man stood behind her smiling warmly. He looked like Zev in a lot of ways. 

“Hello?” 

Jaffa blinked, “I’m sorry. You’re?” Hannahlore looked surprised, “I’m Hannahlore, Keita’s sister. This is my husband Yoni and my mother should be here.” Jaffa scrambled, “I’m so sorry! She is. My name is Jaffa and….I didn’t know he had a sister.” She smirked, “He likes to keep his personal life personal. Don’t take it personally.” She stepped inside and Yoni shook Jaffa’s hand, “I think I’ve heard of you. You know my brother, Zev and his wife Gisela?” She felt relieved. Someone did know of her, “Yes, I know them.” Yoni hugged her, “Well, now you know me.” 

She walked after them into Keita’s room where Mikasa was helping him eat. He lit up like a lightbulb when he saw his sister, “Lore, you had the baby?!” She nodded, “So, my nursery better be ready!” Hannahlore showed the baby to her brother. He welled up, tears in the corner of his eyes, “Oh, he’s so beautiful.” He touched him so gently, Jaffa wondered if she’d ever seen such a strong man capable of such tenderness. 

Yoni wrapped his arms around his wife, “Lore did so well. She’s wonder woman.” He told them the story of his birth while Jaffa took a seat around the other side of the bed. 

Keita was holding him and looked at Jaffa, “See? I don’t think she’d give him up full time, do you?” He noted the looks that crossed her face as she realized she’d been played by Keita and then another look that showed she didn’t know how to respond. He smiled, “I made the nursery for this little joy because I hoped it would encourage my strong minded sister to let me see him more and come visit herself.” 

Hannahlore kissed Keita’s cheek, “We'll come as often as you want.” She started to choke up and had to leave. Yoni followed her and Mikasa wiped her eyes, “She didn’t tell you his name?” Keita laughed shortly, “No, I didn’t ask either. I was just so happy.” Jaffa watched as he continued to touch the tip of his nose with his pointer finger. Mikasa leaned forward, “Tovia Solomon.” Keita looked up, “Really?” 

Jaffa smiled, “Solomon after Keita?” Mikasa nodded, “And Tovia after Tuvia. But, they’ve been calling him Tovi as a nickname.” She remembered the name Tuvia from the file in his office, “Who is Tuvia?” Keita looked at her, “Tuvia is Zev and Yoni’s youngest brother.” She nodded, “Wow, I didn’t know Zev had two brothers.” Mikasa hummed, “He has a sister, too.” 

Keita seemed to squirm. It was slight but Mikasa noticed everything, “Aviva. She’s married now.” Mikasa noted that Jaffa wasn’t thinking anything in particular but Keita’s sudden nervousness led him to word vomit a little bit, “She’s got a daughter but it’s not mine. It’s Gisela’s brother’s, Judah, her husband, child.” Jaffa looked confused, “Why would I have thought it was yours?” Mikasa cleared her throat, “Keita and Aviva dated for a while. But, he must have been ashamed or something because he never told us.” 

Keita was red in the face, “Momma it wasn’t serious. I would have told if it was serious.” She kept staring at him, “You and your father are ridiculous. You must have thought it could have been.” He nodded, “Yes, I thought it might be a good fit but she and I just didn’t click. She ended it and we’ve been fine ever since. Gaia is beautiful and she’s so happy now.” Jaffa felt bold, “Why is he and his father ridiculous?” 

Mikasa snorted, “They only date to marry. It’s nice. I felt pretty special but for a mother it’s frustrating. I’d love to see my son married with children.” Keita was quiet, “I’m sorry, momma.” Jaffa’s heart clenched painfully in her chest. She couldn’t breath for a second. This had felt normal but these comments made every moment of their exchange even more upsetting. 

Keita kissed Tovi, “He smells so good.” Mikasa hummed, “Don’t kiss him. You’re sick and he’s not like Gaia.” Keita had fresh tears in his eyes, “Jaffa, would you like to hold him?” Mikasa’s eyebrows raised. That wasn’t really like him. Jaffa stood up and walked over to sit on the edge of the bed with him, “Are you sure your sister wouldn’t mind?” Keita nodded and passed Tovi to her. Jaffa’s entire body radiated warmth as she held him. 

Keita’s voice was soft, “You wanted to get married and have kids. I’m sorry it didn’t work out.” She nodded sadly, “I’m just getting old and my prospects have dwindled.” Keita snorted, “That’s ridiculous.” She gave him a stern look, “Are you denying that among the orthodox I am not considered a hag?” He sighed, “No, you are but I just can’t think of you like that.” 

She passed Tovi back, “I’m going to finish preparing for dinner.” Jaffa left and Mikasa looked at her son, “No, you are? You should work on that harsh delivery.” He scoffed, “I’m not going to lie about something so trivial. She’s obviously not a hag.” Mikasa nodded, “She’s beautiful and kind. She’s got a lot of nice qualities that I’ve seen just from the short time I’ve known her.” 

Keita touched Tovi some more, “She’s above average in a lot of ways.” Mikasa frowned, “What happened in Ukraine and Siberia?” Keita told her everything and Mikasa felt horrible for the girl, “Oh, she really does want to settle down.” She looked around, “And you? Would you have been upset?” Keita nodded, “I would have done all I could to get her to come back with her new husband. I can’t replace her. She’s been by my side since I was twenty. She doesn’t gossip or talk about personal things at work. She’s a great worker, confidant, and while she cleans in ways I think could be improved upon she does much of the things I’d do myself and many of them better.” 

Mikasa grinned, “Her parents? Have you met them?” Keita looked confused, “Only her father. It was by chance. I’ve never met her mother but she loves her a great deal and they speak everyday in some way.” While Keita and Mikasa continued to speak, Jaffa fed Yoni and Hannahlore. 

Hannahlore insisted that Jaffa call her Lore and Yoni asked all about her work and life. He was charming and happy. “You and Zev are so similar.” Yoni smiled, “He’s pretty awesome. Hopefully, he’ll come and make us all laugh again.” Lore wiped her eyes, “I don’t think he’ll come. I don’t want anyone to come. I don’t want this to be real.” She blew her nose. They talked for a few more minutes before the door opened. 

It was caught on the chain so Jaffa moved to get it, “Just a minute.” She closed the door and then moved the chain. When the door opened Jaffa’s heart pounded, her cheeks turned pink, and she spaced completely. The most perfect and most handsome man she’d ever seen stood before her with a striking smile, “Oh, hello. Are you a friend of Keita’s?” Jaffa had forgotten how to speak. She simply nodded and moved for him to come in. Mikasa appeared, “David, come sit with Keita while he’s awake.” 

Jaffa stared dreamily at David as he thanked her and went to see his son. Hannahlore and Yoni noted that Miss Meir was taken by their father and so did Mikasa. They ignored their want to pick on her and went back to eating. Mikasa asked Jaffa to sit with them and she informed her that was Keita’s father. Jaffa seemed embarrassed but every time David appeared she was like a shy school girl. 

Mikasa touched her hand, “Doesn’t Keita look like his father?” Lore smirked, “Just like him, actually.” Yoni had Tovi in his arms, “They’re identical. Any woman would be lucky to have someone that will age as well as that, too!” Jaffa’s mouth was too dry to speak. 

When David appeared, he looked deflated, “I’d love something to eat, mami.” Mikasa touched his face lightly before rising to make him something. Hannahlore yawned, “When baby sleeps, momma sleeps.” Yoni kissed her a few times with love. Jaffa smiled, “Mazel tov.” Yoni laughed and pulled his phone out. It was vibrating, “Oh, I need to take this.” 

David looked at Jaffa, “Keita says you’re the top krav maga trainer at the agency. I had no idea that _the_ Jaffa Meir was my son’s bodyguard. That would have saved me a lot of sleepless nights.” She didn’t know what to do or say. Suddenly, a childish giggle escaped. She covered her mouth and stood up, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what has gotten into me. I think it’s just the situation.” 

Mikasa was beside her, “Jaffa, you haven’t been home in months and you’ve taken care of Keita all by yourself till we could get here. Please, go home and rest. You can come right back. We’ll be waiting for your return.” She smiled and Jaffa turned to gather her things by the door and leave. 

David frowned, “I guess I wasn’t being very aware. Asking about normal things is a strange way to cope right now and for the first conversation.” Mikasa dropped his plate before him, “You’re clueless. The girl has a crush on you and she’s embarrassed.” He looked confused and then a little smug, “Me? No, that’s silly.” She pinched his cheek and he grimaced, “Don’t let it go to your head.” He took her hand and kissed it, “I won’t. Plus, I have the most beautiful wife in the world world. I do think it’s silly. Keita’s much more handsome.” 

His stomach sunk and he couldn’t even imagine eating. Mikasa noticed, “Eat or I’ll beat you up.” He tried to smile, “It’s hard.” She kissed him and their lips stayed connected. “I just want him to live.” Her voice broke and David pulled her into his lap, the table moving forward and the food spilling. He kissed her over and over again all over her face, wiping her tears with his fingers. 

He pulled back and then rested his forehead on hers, “We are going to fight, Mikasa. We are fighters. Levi is coming and my brother is more beloved by HaShem than I am. Armin and Erwin managed to get through everything that was thrown at them with Zev. We will survive and our son will fight this with our support and love.” 

* 

* 

* 

Every call to Eren went to voicemail. Levi was concerned but he wondered if this was because he was upset about Keita. Mikasa’s son was dying. Maybe, Eren couldn’t handle it. Levi thought Mikasa had been through enough. They all had but he was looking at it from Eren’s point of view. 

Levi called Armin. 

“Mami?” 

“Yeah?” Armin was packing and listening to Maxim pray. 

“I can’t get ahold of Eren.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I call but he doesn’t answer. He left to check on the other hospital.” 

“Oh?” 

“Why are you saying Oh like that?” 

“I’m just surprised. Now that you say it, I haven’t heard from him either.” 

“I don’t like this.” 

“He might just need alone time.” 

“Mami, will you find him?” 

“Yeah, I’ll get a hold of him. Listen, just help your brother. This is why you have two other husbands. I’m a professional Eren wrangler.” Armin laughed sweetly and it set Levi’s nerves at ease, ‘I love you, mami.” 

Armin hummed, “I love you, Velvel.” 

* 

* 

* 

Jean and Marco landed in Israel like peons, “We should have flown private.” The airport was bustling and their family was overwhelmed by the renovations for protection. The war had also made security even more important. They were detained. 

Jean was fuming, “It’s because we’re catholics.” Marco was flipping through a magazine, “It’s because you’re ridiculous.” Gio and Bianca were quietly on their cellphones but Cesare and Ezra were annoyedly discussing what on earth could have flagged them. 

Ezra bounced Ilan, “How is it the only two proper Jews were detained?” Gio smiled, “Israel doesn’t care. It’s about security. Don’t start shit like that.” Bianca nodded, “It’s not that big of a deal. We didn’t do anything wrong.” 

A man entered, “You’ve all been cleared. Mr. Ezra Ackermann and Mr. Gio Kirschtein-Bodt, your military status flagged us for some reason. Mr. Bodt, as a journalist you were flagged for us to tell you that recently attacks have occurred on journalists. Mr. Kirschstein, how you managed to smuggle in full size shampoo and conditioner in your carry on is a mystery but you have to pay a fine of 400 NIS.” 

Jean was livid, “ARE YOU SERIOUS!” 

“Or jail.” 

“Okay, man. Calm down.” 

Jean and Marco got a taxi and Bianca called Tuvia. 

He was on his way to Keita’s, “Are you not going to see me first?” 

Tuvia groaned, “Bracha, I see you all the time.” 

She pouted and Ezra felt bad for her. She really loved him and he seemed to just not care. 

Jean was still fuming, “Is he not coming?” Marco reached over to touch his shoulder, “Jeeeeeaaan.” Gio cleared his throat, “I went on a date with Europa.” The car was thrown into a tizzy of words. Gio was the center of attention now and Bianca was happy. They got to the apartment and unpacked before she told him thank you. 

Tuvia was now at the door with his phone in his hand and a breath caught in his chest. How was he going to finish his journey with so many speed bumps in it? He knocked and a pretty blonde with wet hair opened the door. He knew that Mikasa and David had been there a full day and night but this girl wasn’t of their family. She was definitely strange and something made him uncomfortable, “My name is Tuvia. I’m here for Keita.” 

She nodded and let him in. Lore was talking with Levi, “But, how?” Levi sighed, “I’m heading back to the lab. I’ll look into it. Please, don’t cry and take care of yourself. Are you breastfeeding? If you are, please eat more. I’ve barely seen you eat.” 

Lore waved Levi off, “Eat! Eat! That’s all we Jews do!” Tuvia stepped forward, “And argue. Don’t forget that.” He smiled and she bolted from her chair to hug him. He fretted, “Aren’t you weak?!” Yoni appeared, “She’s the strongest woman in the world. Look what she did!” He held the baby for Tuvia to see. Tuvia looked totally surprised as Yoni handed him the baby, “Lore….is this your baby?” 

She smiled, “Tovia Solomon. I wanted him to be named after my two favorite men.” Tuvia was at a loss for words. He carried Tovi in to see Keita and all returned to normal for an hour or so. Levi had found Jaffa interesting but other than that, he gave her space. She was his kind of people and he thought she was Mikasa’s kind of people, too. Both had watched her enter, upset that she’d overslept, with wet hair and a collection of things. She put his mail in stacks with notes on them. She paid his water bill over the phone with a card he’d handed to her without a second thought. 

Jaffa then started cleaning the floors while arguing with Keita over how she chose to do it. He got up, followed her around. If he got to close she’d shoo him away into his room. She took all of his work things from him and they read the paper together and argued over politics in Israel. They went about their life like the others were not there. He asked about her mother and father and she said they said prayers for him and were doing okay. 

Levi had yet to formally meet her while he recovered from jetlag. Mikasa had come out of her bedroom while David slept and made them coffee. Levi looked at her, “Who is she?” Mikasa explained and Levi seemed more interested, “So, what bodyguard reads the paper in the bed with you?” Mikasa smirked, “One I hope he marries.” Levi’s eyes widened, “What?” She lifted her cup up to her lips, “You heard me.” Levi snorted, “Does he?” 

Mikasa looked at Levi, “He’s being rather dim about it. I see how he trusts her. I see how he talks to her and she talks to him. It’s a very honest and open thing. He’s as raw and honest with her as he is with us. She seemed to enjoy it that way and she’s sensible, open, honest, and pretty. Same age, same profession and similar goals. If I were a schaddchen, this would be a match made in heaven.” 

Levi took Mikasa’s hand, “I am going to try. I promise you.” 

Mikasa covered his hand with her own, “I know. I love you, Levi.” Levi started to cry. 

She had never said she loved him. It had always been with Eren and for Eren to hear. She had told _him_ she loved him. 

Levi felt the weight on her shoulders. 

* 

* 

* 

Zev wondered if something was wrong with the information, “They’re living in Maria and Israel?” One Eye’s voice was strong, “Yes, it’s what I can see from my sources. Listen, your vati and I have a deal. I need to know you’re serious and if you aren’t, I have someone else in mind.” Zev inhaled, “I’m serious. You know I’m serious.” Gisela was braiding Gaia’s hair while Aviva and Judah discussed something. 

They were all on the plane and preparing mentally for a bris and funeral. He was trying to tie up loose ends. Judah was handling his emotional wife and Gisela was numb at best. Gisela pulled at his pant leg, “Zevka, Gaia and I would like to read and spend time with you.” She smiled at him and Gaia hugged his leg smiling. Zev told One Eye he’d call him back, “Zev…..the other man isn’t like me. He’s not a friend to your family.” 

Zev sighed, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Can you tell me who he is?” There was a popping noise from a chair, “Listen, just be careful and really look at who you keep the company of. If you lie with dogs, you’ll get fleas.” 

He hung up and Zev sat down on the floor, “Gaia!” He lifted her and started blowing on his stomach. She giggled and giggled. 

Aviva and Judah were discussing their wills and it was driving Judah insane. 

Aviva had come to him before they got the news about Keita. Her face was pink and full of light, “I’m ovulating!” He put his newspaper down, “Finally.” She held up a hand as he moved off the bed to her, “We have to do this right! I want to conceive this cycle.” She listed all these positions and rules. He wasn’t having it, “I got you pregnant the first time. I don’t need directions.” 

She pouted, “I’m serious about this!” He looked at her, “Okay, I’m sick of this. This is how we’re going to do this: I’m going to fuck you just like I did when we conceived Gaia and that’s it. One time.” She gave him a haughty look, “One time and pregnant? Someone thinks he’s fucking virile.” He gave her a look that made her legs shake, “You’re going to come hard, bitch.” 

He pulled her to him, ripping her leggings off and tossing her on the bed. He took his clothes off and moved over her just like they had the first time. She slapped him. He hissed before lunging for her lips. She opened her legs and he took his cock in his hand before sliding in sharply, smoothly. His thrusts were hard and the way he pushed her down and held her tongue between his teeth made her quiver and moan. 

It wasn’t long before she was seizing up, ready to come. 

He growled as he redoubled his effort. Her nails dug into his back. His lips left marks on her neck as she gasped for breath in the now hot room. When she came, it was hard and she squirted. He hissed in pleasure, “Fuck yes, baby. Come on my cock. Come all over my cock.” They kissed as their bliss started to fade. She wanted to cuddle with him and he held her while softly kissing her now sweat soaked skin. 

When she was ready for another go he pulled away, “No. No sex till we know you’re pregnant. That way, I can have “I was right” sex and you won’t question my ability to get you knocked up again.” She frowned, “But, Judah! I’m dying to have sex!” He snorted, “Niddah for you!” 

Later that day they learned about Keita and Aviva started to think about how she was at risk for all sorts of diseases. She demanded they make wills and Judah thought it wasn’t the kind of thing to do right then when she was emotional and the family was like it was. She called Yoni and set up a meeting while they were in Israel to talk about it. He thought she was evil for doing it while they were all mourning. Now, they were having a very typical Judah and Aviva argument where she slapped him and he came back for more and even begged. 

Gisela looked at Zev while Gaia sat between his legs and played with her toys, “Baba wasn’t home when we left.” Zev kissed her, “Giselaka, I’m sure he’s having a hard time and is coming for the bris. Plus, he’s got to have someone run the clinic while we’re gone for so long.” 

She laid down and he traced her lips with his finger tips, “I love you.” 

* 

* 

* 

It was the day of the bris and all in the family were gathered except Eren. Armin and Erwin had done their best to track him down but they couldn’t find him. Vadimas said he’d seen him at the other hospital and that he looked extremely depressed. He’d offered to keep trying to make contact while they went to the bris. 

They told Levi he was at the hospital and having a hard time with it all to buy them some time. Armin and Erwin didn’t like lying to him. They tried desperately to locate Eren but it seemed he was one step ahead of him, “I think that’s a good thing.” Armin’s voice was tense, “Because, that means he knows we’re looking and he’s not just running away. He’s evading us but not in such a way that I think he’s saying “I’m not coming back.” It’s more like, “Hang on a minute.” 

Armin frowned, “He’s like the old Eren.” Erwin looked surprised, “The old Eren?” Armin kept looking online at the information, “Erwin, you know Eren’s really changed a lot. He’s been so calm and happy for so long now. He doesn’t really get angry and I know we still pretend that he does but it’s really just Ezra that acts out and that’s not even half as often as Eren used to.” 

Erwin thought about it, “You’re right. I’m sorry. I guess I’ve just enjoyed the peace as much as he has. When we’re together we still have a lot of laughs and fun. Sex is still light and kinky with a twist. I’ve grown so soft, too. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t see it.” Armin looked at the itinerary and frowned, “I wish he was here. It’s our first grandson. We’ve never missed anything for any of the children.” Erwin kissed Armin, “Baby, he’s here. He’s always here.” Erwin’s lips were just as soft as his voice. Armin loved his husband. 

* 

Yoni was shining as he called out his son’s name in front of the congregation. Ilan was eating while Ezra stood near the front. A sight to see by all the other men who left their babes with their mothers. Afterwards, they’d all go back to Keita’s apartment and perform the bris. Since it fell on the Sabbath, they made a special stop at the temple. Everyone watched happily except for Keita. Keita said he couldn’t go due to his strength. 

The real reason was that Jaffa couldn’t accompany him in the men’s section. He wanted her to come with him everywhere and he wasn’t sure how to say that. Jaffa had pleaded that it was fine for him to go if he went in a wheelchair but he just couldn’t do it. If he left, she might leave and never come back. He started to realize that she meant more to him than he’d ever thought. 

Jaffa made his life work and he trusted her implicitly. 

“I can’t accept that you’re just giving up.” She turned away from him to prepare the house for his relatives. Now, she needed to finish cooking and wait for them all to return from temple. 

The night before she’d nearly died from shock, “How many people are coming? I need to arrange food. I want to cook.” He gave her an uncharacteristically sympathetic look, “No, Jaffa. We should just order kosher food from around town.” She gave a stern look, “Keita, that’s rude. You can’t cook and it’s your home. You have to offer a home cooked meal and it’s Shabbat tomorrow!” 

He smiled a little, “Are you using what’s proper to guilt me?” She smiled back, ‘Of course, I am. You can’t cook but I can and since I’m your employee I can step in and do your role.” He grimaced, “Friend?” She gave a curt laugh, “I think you should stop trying whatever this is.” He looked confused, “Whatever what is?” She shrugged, “This improper attempt to lie and save my feelings.” 

He cringed, “But, I really mean it.” She gave him a blank look, “How many people are coming, Keita?” He wanted her to believe he had stronger feelings for her than just an employee but she rejected any attempt. “Well, four, eight, ten, fourteen, sixteen, twenty….twenty five. I think only twenty five could come. Oh! No, actually, twenty nine. That’s all that could come. Gio and Delaine and Vadimas are all too old to fly. Sasha and Connie are working Gio’s place. Oh, Zadkiel is coming so that’s thirty total….and you make thirty one.” 

Jaffa stood gobsmacked. 

Keita saw her slowly letting the numbers sink in. 

He stood shakily, “I’ll call in some things.” She held her hand up, “No, it’s not right. I’ll make it work.” He put his shoes on slowly, “I want to go with you.” She gave him a reproachful look, “That isn’t smart. I’ll go to the market and get things from the venders that my Ima knows. Then the supermarkets.” 

She made a list and he watched her quietly. When she grabbed the car keys he made sure to leave first so she couldn’t stop him from coming along. 

They parked and he waited in the car. The market was too hot and he was too tired. In the supermarket he walked slowly beside her, “You use that brand?” She sighed, “Yes, you don’t?” He shook his head, “No, that’s not a good buy.” She gave him a terse look, “It’s about the taste. I know it’s a few cents more than the others but it’s the best for what I’m making.” 

He pulled a very expensive brand from the shelf, “This one is the best. Just get it.” She put her bottle of pickles in the cart, “Lavie, price isn’t everything. I know these and I’m going to use what I know. Plus, you’ve never let me cook for you so you have no idea how I use these or the taste.” He paused, “You’re right.” 

She took his arm and led him along and down the isles. He started picking at her and after a long, long time she realized he was picking on her in his own way. She was amused, “Lavie, are you trying to be friendly with me? That’s not really our thing.” He blushed, “You’ve caught me.” She smiled softly, “If only we could go out drinking and dancing. We’re pretty good at that. But, the doctor says no alcohol so,” she grabbed a bottle of champagne, “we’ll stick to the kid stuff.” 

He grinned, “I’m glad that they carry such weak stuff. Jaffa…” He looked over at her and lost his train of thought. She was staring at the happy mothers in the baby food isle and the diapers. He looked at her and thought about how beautiful she was. “Jaffa? She pulled her attention from isle, “Yes?” He didn’t know what to say. He stood with his mouth open, “Can we have lunch?” She smirked, “Men: all you do is eat.” 

He gave her a playful shove, “You mean “Jews.” Because all we do as a people is eat hummus and argue.” 

They went to grab food at one of his favorite places. He couldn’t eat a lot due to a sudden wave of nausea but he made sure to spare no expense for her. She remarked that he was normally extravagant but this was ridiculous for lunch. He had rice and hummus. His eyes were wet, “Nikko used to eat his weight in this growing up. Vati would make huge batches daily. He’d just wake up, go downstairs, start the blender and bam, hummus. He cooked the rice slowly based off of one Baba’s mother’s recipes. She was the closest thing to a mother he ever had.” 

Jaffa looked at his hummus, “I need to ask for forgiveness.” 

He was surprised, “For putting the salt in the water first?” 

She grinned slightly but it faded, “No, I read your files to understand better what happened with Zev. I read Gisela’s and then I skimmed Tuvia’s. Forgive me. I understand that you’re going to have to fire me for breaking such serious rules. But, before you do, please let me say that don’t you think there is hope that you and Nikko can rebuild? And Zev and Gisela, isn’t there hope?” 

Keita merely sat with the blood seeping out of him. It felt like someone had gutted him. Jaffa didn’t want to hurt him but being reminded of his past actions felt like dying. However, “Jaffa, I promise to never keep a secret from you ever again.” 

Jaffa blinked, “What? Why would you promise me something like that?” 

He sagged in his chair, “I don’t think our relationships can be repaired. I’m telling you that I will never fire you for whatever you do. I will never keep a secret from you either. If I hadn’t in the first place, I think I wouldn’t have ended up like I have. I forgive you. I’m sure you were just trying to understand.” 

Jaffa looked at him in confusion, “Keita, what is happening?! You need to fire me! I broke all the rules!” He looked frightened, “No! I don’t want to fire you!” She was so happy to hear it but she felt like he was doing this for the wrong reasons, “Is it because you’re sick? If you were healthy you’d do it.” He stood up, “Don’t insult me.” She gave him a challenging look, “I want you, Keita. I don’t want a version of you. Do you understand?” 

“And I want you to be with me for the rest of my life!” 

They stared at each other questioning the other’s words. 

The waitress came by, “Is everything alright?” Keita nodded, “Yes, I am so sorry to have acted like this. I apologize and I will leave a bigger tip. We’ll be going.” He grabbed Jaffa’s lightweight coat and held it up for her to put her arms through. His strength was fading so she took his arm in her’s. They walked out looking like a beautiful couple. He had his hummus to go and an instagramer took a photo of him for “hot dudes and hummus.” Jaffa thought it was hilarious. 

She made sure when they got home to give him his medicine and paper. He fell asleep immediately while she returned to the kitchen. The amount of prep work and sheer mass of food she was going to have to make started to overwhelm her. She called her ima, “Ima? Ima I need help.” She explained what was going on and Analia suggested she come over to help. Jaffa was able to be more positive knowing her mother was on her way, “Toda, Ima.” 

* 

Analia Meir lived a very routine and comfortable life. She had a wonderfully lovable husband that did very well for himself. It hadn’t always been that way. Zvi had struggled as a labourer. They’d lived on a kibbutz in the first two years in order to not starve but her sickness caused a stir when the local doctors were unable to help. 

Zvi had never complained, not once. He worked all day and some nights. But, he would come home to her and finish her chores without asking leaving her with more time to spend on Jaffa. He’d take Jaffa and lay her on his chest while he sang to her. Zvi’s hands were rough yet soft. He made her laugh, he made her feel, and he tried to give her the space she needed. 

Her daughter had been the joy of her life. She’d grown up to become a beautiful and proud woman. She was so much like her but had her father’s positivity. She’d been afraid of her more than once and Analia lived with that shame. Jaffa had a mother who wasn’t always reliable. Somehow, she never developed a resentment for her and that made her love her daughter even more. 

Now, she was going to finally meet the Mr. Lavie she had spent eight years with. Zvi said he was beyond words as far as looks and that he was particular in many ways that resembled Jaffa. He was calm, collected, impressive, and intimidating. He made a good impression on Zvi and after seeing him in Siberia he was even more full of praise for the boy. 

Analia had tried to pry from Jaffa any information she could about her personal feelings. It seemed Jaffa was unaware of how well he was matched for her and just how much she really cared for him. Sure, it could just be a great friendship or a loyal partnership. When Jaffa informed her mother she didn’t date seriously in Israel because she was going to marry a man with iron teeth, she’d figured that’s why she wouldn’t open herself up to Mr. Lavie. 

Analia had loved once someone so much that she’d never thought it was possible to open herself up to it again. She’d then allowed Zvi to remain in her life and then she’d gave herself permission to love him for who he was: perfectly positive. 

Analia thought the apartment building was nice. She wondered what the man’s apartment would be like inside. Would it be like Jaffa’s? She knocked on the door. When Jaffa opened it, “Ima! Thank you for coming.” She hugged her and Analia was stiff as normal. She hadn’t been an overly physically affectionate mother but Jaffa understood that. That was Zvi’s thing. Jaffa knew she could hug and kiss her mother despite her awkward reaction. 

Analia looked at the food when they entered, “You’ve already done well. Let’s start making all the cold and then whatever we can make to heat up will be next.” Analia was impressed with Mr. Lavie’s apartment. “He does well?” Jaffa minced no words, “He’s level three of the pay grade. That’s third highest. I’m only just now level five. If he continues….I think he has a shot at becoming the director or gaining a cabinet or knesset position.” 

Analia rinsed a few vegetables, “What are his vices?” Jaffa paused, “Power, righteousness, and his family as I’ve come to find out. He doesn’t drink too much. Doesn’t smoke, doesn’t womanize, and doesn’t get into fights.” Analia noticed her daughter’s movements, “Is he a good fighter?” She smirked, “I’m better but he’s unmatched among the men here. However, I’ve seen his cousin lay him down and he took me down.” 

They finished the cold dishes and started on the warm. It’d been almost two hours, “Where is his family?” Jaffa wiped her face and looked at the clock, “His mother said they were getting everything ready for the bris. His sister gave birth to a baby and two days later she arrived here. It’s very honorable.” Jaffa wiped the table down before laying out cuts of meat to be seasoned. 

Analia’s blue eyes were like glass in the light from the windows. She pulled her hair back and put on gloves. Jaffa spoke softly, “His family is gorgeous and the baby is precious. His mother is like you, Ima. I like her a lot and his father is the most handsome man I’ve ever seen. I’m so ashamed by the reaction I have to him. I giggle and blush like a lunatic.” 

They spent the next hour in quiet when Keita woke and called her. Jaffa entered his room, “Yes?” He needed more water. She fetched it and then told him her mother was there helping her. He sat up suddenly, ‘I want to meet her.” 

Keita examined Analia’s face looking for similarities to Jaffa. He was kind, respectful, proper, and gracious as she visited with him. Keita was a handsome young man but there was a look about him that stirred something in her soul. She felt a tugging at her mind’s edge, distant and repressed memories. She spoke with him about lots of things, mostly about Israel and his work with Jaffa. 

Then he asked her about her accent, “It sounds like my Ima’s when she speaks Hebrew.” Analia’s eyes were cautious and calculated, “I grew up in America. English is my first language but I only spoke Hebrew with Jaffa while I was learning and Zvi is fluent. She speaks some English but it’s not great. As I progressed, I stopped speaking English to her and she only learned at daycare and school what she speaks now.” 

“Where in America did you grow up?” 

“The north.” 

Keita didn’t pry, “It’s beautiful up north. My uncle is from New York and my father lived with him for a time when they were children. He’s actually from France, my uncle that is. He was born there and then moved to America. We have a family apartment in France where we all visit and stay.” 

“He sounds lucky and rich.” 

Keita didn’t know how to reply, “Well, he is a good man and certainly from the outside he looks like a rich fat cat. But, if you can believe it, he was a gangster. He really came from nothing and all he has he paid for over and over with his blood and sweat. He served in the marines and was severely injured. He worked non-stop his entire life and is even working now just as hard. He took a few years off when we were all really little.” 

Keita thought about Levi, “He didn’t even know my father was his brother. He thought he was an orphan. They both did.” 

“What does your father do?” 

“He works for the Israeli government, too.” 

“Oh, keeping it in the family. Your mother?” 

“She’s a fashion designer and entrepreneur.” 

“You have a sister?” 

“Yes! My sister is a wonderful interior designer who just had a baby. Her husband is a lawyer. The baby is a fine and handsome baby. Ask Jaffa. She’s held him.” 

Keita was sweating. Analia stood, felt his forehead and frowned, “Fever. I’ll get ice.” Keita looked suddenly like he was about to fall asleep, “Can Jaffa come sit with me?” Analia heard the hesitation in his voice. It was like he was afraid she’d say no. Analia nodded, “Jaffa, will you sit with Keita?” She came in, “Are you making problems for my ima?” He grimaced in pain, “Please give me my medicine and sit with me.” Jaffa did so and Analia went to label the food and clean up. 

When the door opened she felt uncomfortable. Analia still didn’t like people in general and having to make introductions to strangers was going to take forever. She heard a bag being laid down and a baby fussing, “Tovi, I know. I know it’s hard being a baby. Momma’s going to feed you.” A beautiful girl held a baby to her breast while concentrating. Behind her, a golden haired boy smiled, “Lore, I’ll make sure that everything at the loft is cleaned while we’re away and Judah and Aviva’s my only meeting while we’re here.” 

She turned around and kissed him, “Just cut your toenails or you’re sleeping on the couch.” He smirked, “How would I take care of Tovi then?” She scoffed, “He doesn’t eat from your breast.” Yoni chuckled, “He’s going to be a lawyer.” Hannahlore rolled her eyes, “He’ll work at Judah’s club for all we know.” Yoni frowned, “I’d rather him not.” 

They saw Analia and she gave a short nod. Lore smiled, “Hello, we’re Hannahlore and Yoni. Are you Jaffa’s friend or?” Analia wiped her hands and dried them, “I’m her mother. I came to help out with the cooking. It’s all ready for tomorrow and I was cleaning.” Yoni and Lore smiled and began spewing forth compliments about Jaffa. They seemed to be okay with her silence and blank expression. 

Yoni and Lore were sweet and new parents. They showed her their son, “Tovia Solomon. He’s the only baby I’ve managed to bring to life.” Hannahlore’s voice was so sad and sincere. Analia felt a horrible twinge of mutual pain, “Jaffa is the only baby I could have. After her, my womb was full of scar tissue. I only ever wanted one but my husband wanted another so bad and we tried for a long time till the doctors told us it was impossible. I had miscarriages. It really hurt me and I suffered from severe depression. I felt broken.” 

Lore started to cry, shaking her head with a quivering lip, “Yeah, I felt like I was broken. My cousins all conceived easily. One didn’t even know she was pregnant and still her baby lived. I felt like I was cursed and it wasn’t fated for me to be a mother.” Analia’s face was blank, “Life is cruel and there is no such thing as fate.” 

There was a sudden thud on the floor. They turned around to see oranges on the floor spilling out of their sack, “Oh, sorry. It slipped…” MIkasa’s voice dwindled into air. She stood frozen, face truly one of shock. Yoni moved to gather the oranges and put them in the bowl for fruit. Mikasa slowly took her coat off. Yoni took it as well. Analia suddenly realized who Mr. Lavie was and who he looked like. It was so comical how this all was. 

She remembered her name was once Annie and she had loved a woman name Mikasa Ackermann Jaeger. She had hurt her to save her. She had done so many horrible things to save herself. Now, after all these years she was once again staring in awe at the beauty of this woman and her daughter was at the side of her son. 

How had the gangster turned rich guy from New York not tipped her off? 

Mikasa regained control of her face, “Hello.” Hannahlore noted the strange looks, “This is Mrs. Analia Meir, Jaffa’s mother.” Mikasa’s face twitched and Lore grew concerned, “Momma? What’s wrong?” Analia looked at Hannahlore and her disappointment in herself grew. How had she not noticed her beauty was that of her mother’s? 

“It’s nice to meet you Mrs. Meir. I’m Mikasa Ackermann-Jaeger Lavie. You can call me Mikasa. Your daughter has been indispensable and a pleasant joy.” 

Analia smiled, “Jaffa is my joy.” 

Mikasa stood like a statue while Analia stood equally as still. Lore and Yoni exchange looks before Yoni took charge, “I’m making tea. Mrs. Meir, please have some as a thank you for your help. Momma, sit outside with her and enjoy the sun while it’s still warm enough to be out. Keita has blankets and pillows. You’ll do well to get some vitamin D.” He watched the women move towards the porch and set a pot on the stove, “Lore?” 

“Yes?” 

“That was weird, right?” 

“Yep.” 

“Okay, you’re the most beautiful woman in the world.” 

“What do you want?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Liar.” 

“Just kisses.” 

“I can do kisses.” 

“Thanks, mami.” 

Tovi started to cry and she went to her room. Yoni’s hand gripped the edge of the counter. 

His stomach buzzed.


	184. Me, I'm Not

Mikasa and Annie sat on the porch and watched the sunset. There was so much they wanted to say but was there really any point? Annie eventually found her.voice, “Why are we both with men?” Mikasa’s smile was soft and small, barely there, “David is my soulmate. I had no choice in the matter. It was beschert.” 

Annie started to laugh, “Fate….I don't believe in it but then again, this is just plain ridiculous.” Mikasa nodded her head, “Are you well?” Annie nodded, “I am. Married with a daughter. I don't work anymore. Zvi makes enough and we live a comfortable life.” 

There was commotion on the streets but nothing out of the ordinary. The birds flew by and the two women talked about Maria for a while. Annie was impressed with all Erwin had done and all that Mikasa’s family had done. 

Hannahlore, Keita, and Jaffa joined them later. Lore was breast feeding again and Keita asked her to cover up. Lore refused, “Mother didn’t.” He leaned back on his plush lounge, “Mother has no fear.” Lore cut her eyes over, “Nor do I. It's good for him. I'll feed him till he's five if it makes him healthy and strong.” 

Keita was aghast, “You can't be serious! A five year old has no business at the breast. Anything past one is strange.” Mikasa raised an eyebrow, “I fed you till you were three. You loved it and threw a fit when you weaned.” Keita blanched, “What!? I don't remember that!” She shrugged, “You liked your mother's breast.” Keita nearly came out of his skin, “Ima! Don't say that! And in front of company!” 

Jaffa bubbled over with laughter. She touched his arm, “Now it all makes sense! This is what you really meant when you proudly proclaimed you wanted to marry a woman just like your mother. I didn't know you were a breast man. I thought it would be ass.” 

Keita recoiled at the words like they were burning him and Lore joined in on the laughing and poking, “He's definitely a breast man. A schaddchen would have been useless since the photos only were from the face up. Keita, didn't you date a girl once with fake breasts?” 

Jaffa watched Keita and Lore’s interaction. Keita was so out of his comfort zone but he bent to her will willingly, “Yes and then one burst on our date. She'd been skydiving and had some sort of mishap. She'd taken a pain pill and since it was our third date she was expecting a proposal. Instead, she got an ER partner and then a polite refusal for serious a relationship.” 

Lore looked at Jaffa, “The break up flowers were beautiful. He always sent flowers to girls he broke up with or had dated one or two times only to find it not a match. Jaffa, you're his assistant! How many flowers has he sent out under your watch? He tells me nothing.” 

Jaffa felt suddenly very hot. All eyes were on her and Keita squirmed. She thought about lying but it wasn't her style and flowers were not in the contract as top secret, “Well, he's sent maybe a handful over these eight years to women I didn't know.” Lore looked at Mikasa and Mikasa pushed, “A handful?” 

“Maybe six? The other flowers were sent to Miss Ackermann, Miss Smith, Miss Lavie, and a few to me for various promotions and such.” Mikasa frowned, “Did he make you pick your own flowers out?” Her glare at her son quickened her response, “No, the last four were never picked out by me except when he traveled a few times.” 

Hannahlore looked thoughtful, “You and Keita must have very similar tastes because I never noticed.” Annie thought about Jaffa in this family and she smiled. Mikasa would be a fine and stable mother in law and Hannahlore would be a sweet and witty sister. She wondered if Mikasa was of similar mind or was their past too complicated? 

Annie frowned. Their past was more than complicated. She suddenly remembered much more of the circumstances surrounding her life with them and now she had to admit that Jaffa would not be a match at all due to her blood. 

Jaffa saw Annie's face fall, “Ima? Are you well?” Keita studied her face, “Jaffa mentioned your chronic illness. If you need anything or to lie down then please make yourself at home. I'm not much of a host right now. I apologize.” Annie was embarrassed as Mikasa gave her a questioning look. She simply took some of the mint water and drank it. 

After a while, Levi and David returned. Their reactions were much the same as Mikasa's had been. Levi noted the blush on Jaffa’s face as she saw David. He snorted internally. “Ah, we have company!” David beamed. Ever the gracious host. 

Mikasa’s voice was cool and left no room for argument, “This is Analia Meir, Jaffa’s mother. She’s never met Keita till today.” David sat down, “It's nice to meet you. I’m Dr. David Lavie and this is my brother, Dr. Levi Ackermann.” Levi sat down slowly. He was as awkward as ever. 

Jaffa perked up, “You're the famous doctor who has saved the world numerous times. You're working on Keita, right? Please tell me you are.” Levi nodded, “I am doing all I can.” He looked at Keita, “I have something with me I'd like you to try after you get something on your stomach. There will be side effects. I'm sorry.” 

Keita gave him a thankful smile, “I'll do whatever you want. I want to spend as much time with Tovi as I can and even if you can give me one more day extra it’d be worth it.” Jaffa found it hard to breathe and so did Mikasa. 

David turned his attention to Annie and she recalled what she'd already said to Mikasa. After dinner she prepared to leave but not before she watched Levi administer a shot to Keita. 

The reaction was immediate and violent. He vomited profusely and shook while Jaffa wiped his face and Mikasa pulled his dirty clothes off of him. David took him to the bathroom while Levi followed with an IV bag. 

Annie stayed until she saw Mikasa emerge from the laundry room. 

“Mikasa?” Mikasa’s face was pale. Her eyes and nose red from tears and snot. She looked at Annie who uncharacteristically had tears in her eyes, “You don't deserve this and neither does your son. I am so sorry. I'm sorry for everything.” Mikasa stood still, “I know.” 

Annie felt like she should say something but what was there to say? “Maybe God can help him.” Annie's words were an attempt at comfort. Mikasa shrugged, “There is no God, Annie. You know that.” Annie had a small smile, “Yes, you're right. My husband talks of God, not me.” Mikasa moved forward, “I have Levi. I place my trust in him. Your daughter is amazing.” 

Mikasa smiled, “I'd like him to live and maybe marry her.” Annie's face fell, “I wanted her to marry him, too but Mikasa, she can't. It's one of the reasons I left. Her blood is like mine and you can't mix with us.” Mikasa’s face fell, too. “Annie?! What!?” Keita was crying in anguish. She took her hand, “We need to talk later, after the bris.” Mikasa nodded and Annie left. 

Keita laid on the floor of the shower while David cleaned him and comforted him, “Don't let momma see.” He was shaking, pitiful, “Don’t let Jaffa in.” Jaffa was in the bedroom changing sheets and hiding her tears. Levi set up the IV while watching her. Keita moaned in distress as David's words soothed him. 

She turned to Levi and dropped to her knees. Tears silently rolling down her cheeks, “Please, please, Dr. Ackermann. Please save him. Please, please, please. Do anything it takes just don't let him die or suffer the entire time he does. Please, I'm begging you.” 

He stood awkwardly, “Jaffa?” She looked up, “Yes, sir?” He struggled with the words, “I'm shity with words and feelings but please know I am doing all I can. I can't do what HaShem can, though. I can only do what I as a man can.” 

He helped her up, “You can sit with me and I can tell you about my work on Keita’s cancer if it would make you feel better?” Jaffa wiped her face, composing herself quickly, “Please.” He brought her to kitchen and showed what he had. Hanji video called from their apartment she'd bought in Israel a long time ago in the middle of it. 

“How did it go?” 

“He's vomiting. I made an IV.” 

Hanji pouted, “Damn it! I WAS SO SURE! Hey, who is the beautiful girl next to you?” 

“Jaffa. She's Keita’s bodyguard and assistant.” 

Jaffa found herself on the receiving end of a lot of Hanji for the rest of the hour. Jaffa enjoyed her and then a pretty woman appeared, “Levka?” She saw Levi form an awkward but sincere smile, “My sweetness.” He oozed love for this girl, “How are you feeling?” She smiled, “Good, a little morning sickness but not that bad since I know what it is now. Nikko makes me protein shakes that make me so much more comfortable.” 

Levi’s eyes were brighter than normal, “Mila, I swear you’re the most beautiful expecting mother. Please, allow me to spoil you since I didn’t get the chance before. Your mother and I will spare no expense, please.” Mila blushed, “I’d rather you spoil a girl in the community in need.” Levi nodded, “Fine, I’ll match everything I do for you and provide that for a girl in the community. I’ll set it up with Rabbi Berkovitch. Mila, let me know if you need anything and thank you for blessing me with another grandchild.” 

Mila rolled her eyes, “Levi, you’re ridiculous. Nikko’s just as bad. Honestly, I’d rather we talk about Keita and his cancer.” Levi paused, “What are your thoughts?” Mila was about to speak when Jaffa’s thought came out of her mouth, “Is she even a doctor?” 

Jaffa covered her mouth and then apologized profusely. “I am so sorry. It just came out and I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just honestly curious. It was rude and uncalled for. Please forgive me.” Mila smiled sweetly, “No, you’re Jaffa, right?” 

“Yes.” 

“Yoni and Hannahlore have told me all about you. I’m sure you’re very concerned for Keita’s health and having a doctor like Dr. Ackermann ask some pregnant girl for advice is a little strange. I'm also a doctor. I’m in Israel and can talk with you in person. I’ll just call a taxi and tell my husband. He’ll insist on coming. I might as well.” 

When Mila arrived, Nikko was on edge. He didn’t know how to handle a sick Keita and was relieved that he was in his room and not out in the open, sick and dying, for him to see and try to process. Nikko saw Jaffa at the table with Levi. She gave him a small nod and smile, “It’s nice to meet you again, Nikko. This time, I hope I won’t find myself under a table and chair with a fractured arm.” He gave a shameful look to Mila and then to Jaffa, “I was very upset.” 

She smiled, “I know. I agreed with your point of view and it earned me a lot of lectures. This is your wife? I can see why things were the way they were.” Levi was quiet and Nikko took his place beside him. Like father, like son. Mila sat down and took Jaffa’s hand, “I find Keita’s cancer to be concerning. In our family, health is already an interesting thing. His mutation is probably deeply connected to his genetics and my hypothesis is that if we can find someway to freeze the mutation from making the cancer cells then we’ll be able to save Keita in some way.” 

“However, we don’t have time for extensive genetic testing and trials. We have to think in a way that years of work happen in hours and treatments are one time dosages that will work perfectly. This is the first we’ve done and tomorrow we should know if it worked. Till then, we’re still working.” Levi and Nikko looked at the data. Nikko spoke slowly, “If we had a template that we could look at that mirrored his sickness then we would be better off. But, our problem lies with exactly _which_ genetic mutation template should we use? We have a lot of leukemia cancer research to look at but we’re missing something.” 

They spoke late into the night till Nikko checked his watch, “Jaffa, I very much like our non-aggressive exchanges. I’d love to have coffee with you again and talk politics. You’ve signed up to fight for us in the final war?” 

Jaffa nodded, “I will give my life to rid the world of Reiss and finally set the people of the world free. I love my country and I love my people. I cannot stand by and suffer such injustice. It would dishonor my people and all that they have stood for.” Levi looked at her and then at his son, “Miss Meir, I wish you a wonderful night and we will see you tomorrow.” Nikko’s face was unreadable but there was something to the way he looked at Jaffa and the way his hand twitched. He rubbed his thumb over the side of his pointer finger. This was a tick of Erwin’s that somehow made it’s way into their children. 

Levi offered to walk them out. Mila hugged Jaffa and Levi pulled his son to the side, “Why are cautious about her?” Nikko looked at his father, “After all the time I’ve spent hunting, my instincts are sharper than most. I’ll explain later, aba.” He kissed the back of Levi’s hand, “I hope you cure Keita. He may have wronged me but he doesn’t deserve to die like this. He should die naturally or by a duel with Zev.” Levi pulled him into his arms, “I love you, Nehemiah.” 

* 

Jaffa was preparing to leave. She saw that David left Keita’s side and Mikasa was warming some breast milk for Tovi. Hannahlore and Yoni were exhausted and Mikasa had Tovi to feed him. David walked behind her and wrapped her in his arms, kissing the side of her neck. Jaffa watched longer than she thought proper. David’s hands moved lovingly around Mikasa’s curves and his voice was low and soothing. 

She turned to kiss him and Jaffa felt an acute longing for love and comfort like that. She wanted a family and children so badly she could taste it. She was almost thirty and felt like a fake jew. 

Jaffa opened his door slowly and saw the IV. She’d always found Keita’s [room](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/17/70/b0/1770b0ef02f51c1cd92324e0eee75f71.jpg) relaxing. She had bought more pillows, larger and softer, when they got back for his bed. He’d always had just the minimum and he called her superfluous for adding the pillows. Now, he was resting on them and looked to be comfortable. 

He groaned lightly as she entered, “Jaffa?” 

“I was leaving for the night and wanted to tell you goodbye.” 

He groaned more, moving in his bed, “No, please. Don’t go, Jaffa. I want you to stay. Please stay.” She looked at him, “I don’t have anything, Keita. You’ve never let me stay unless we were drunk and then you ordered a car to have me taken away.” He opened his eyes, “Jaffa, please stay with me.” She frowned and he decided to take action. 

He slowly, carefully, got out of bed. Her anger was clear in her tone, “Keita!” With one hand on the now empty IV rack, he made his way to his dresser and pulled out boxers and a tshirt, “Here, wear these. They’re clean. I’ll take care of everything else. Just stay with me.” 

Jaffa took the clothes and changed. His bathroom was spotless, even more than when she cleaned it. She’d heard that Nikko’s father had OCD and he cleaned beyond sense. It was true. Keita’s tshirt was oversized, soft, and smelled like his detergent. There was also a strong smell of him. 

When she entered, Keita had pulled the cover down on the other side of the bed and arranged the pillows for someone to sleep there. She gawked, “You expect me to sleep in the bed with you!?” He laid down. His body ached, his throat was sore, it was hard to swallow, and he felt out of his element. His father had held him while he sobbed, burning inside from the injection. 

He was ashamed of his weakness, “Jaffa, I have to confess something to you.” 

She looked at him, “What?” 

He laid down, “I’m afraid if you leave my sight, you’ll leave forever. I’m afraid I’ll never see you again. Why would you stay around someone like me who was dying? I don’t want to fire you because I think it’s all that keeps you here. If I did, you’d be reassigned to someone else. I am a very selfish person and this is the truth.” 

She took a few hesitant steps forward and then she walked confidently to her side of the bed, “This is scandalous.” 

He smirked, “Sensationalist.” 

“You mean salacious.” 

“Thank you.” 

She looked at him, “I swore loyalty to you. I’m not giving up my contract and everything else just because of this horrible situation. I am hoping to remain by your side for the rest of our careers. Plus, we have a war to fight and I need to be in the thick of it to be most useful. My mother didn’t raise me to back down or give up.” 

Keita smiled, “You are your mother’s daughter.” Jaffa felt happy about that, “Do you think it's working?” Keita gave her a brutal answer, “No. It didn't work. Once you've had the serum enough and felt it work, then it's impossible for you not to know when one does not.” 

Her voice was shaky, “Could you be wrong?” He was surprised at the question. They never talked like that. The subjunctive was for regular people. Jaffa and Keita dealt in the concrete and imperative. “Maybe.” He lied. 

She moved her hand to pop him, “Don't lie to save my feelings. I don't have any use for it.” But, he hand didn't pull away and her bottom lip quivered. He covered her hand with his own, “Maybe we should lie to each other a little more? Dare I say, we should maybe _hope_ despite all the facts?” 

She pulled her hand back and rolled over. Her body was still so small next to his. He thought about something, “You flipped me in krav maga like I weighed nothing yet you're so petite it really should not have been possible.” 

She sighed, “It's easy for me to fight you.” He hummed, “Why?” She rolled back over, her face red from tears still, “Because you fight like I would if I were a man. Luckily, I'm a woman and I know what I as a man would see and what that means for me as a fighter in in the ring with you. But, Keita, I must sleep now. I will have to get up early to cook and finish in time for your family's arrival. You'll need help dressing for the bris, too.” 

But, in the morning, Jaffa heard Keita flat declining to head to temple with his family for the name calling and aliyah. She frowned and grit her teeth while make bread rolls to bake. She wanted to time it just right for their arrival. He bathed, brushed his teeth, and performed his grooming routine. All in silence as if they had not just gone at it over his shocking choices. 

She paused once the bread was in the oven and went to Keita’s room. He noted she'd been so focused on cooking she was still in his clothes. Mikasa had seen for herself the girl working in Keita’s place. 

David kissed Mikasa, “I know another girl who wore an Israeli’s clothes.” Mikasa shoved Annie's words to the back of her mind. “I'm going to have something brought over from the shop.” David kisses her again, “Don't push too hard. Let's hope Annie is wrong.” David had been told everything, naturally. Mikasa summed up her size and made a few calls. She also tried Eren but there was nothing. 

On there way to the temple she saw the park where David had told her about Carla. She stopped dead in her tracks before Armin walked over and took her hand. 

Jaffa heard a knock on the door. A girl handed her a dress bag, make up, and shoes. She came in and did her hair explaining that Keita and Mikasa had both called the store. When she was [dressed](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/e6/c9/86/e6c986dd4a5d11104512f7351b8d6bff.png), she went to assist him. 

Her hands smoothed down his shirt, fingers gently buttoning it before sliding up and under the collar to pull it over and down. She looked at his thinning face. Maybe it wasn't that bad for others but for him it was. “You need more water. You're dehydrated.” Her breath tickled his neck and chest as she pulled a tie from his collection and pulled it around his neck before knotting it. 

He admired her from this close up. She was striking. How had he never noticed? Well, he had but it had felt wrong to admit it. She pulled back, pushing him down on the edge of the bed. She got on her knees and a blush spread across the back of his neck. She put his socks and shoes on quickly. He was glad she couldn't read minds. 

“Can you manage with the shoes on?” He scoffed, “Or what? Walk around like a heathen barefoot?” She smirked, “I prefer barefoot and don't allow shoes on in my house because of germs.” He asked if he could see where she lived one day. Jaffa agreed and went back to taking the bread out of the oven. 

[Keita](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ac/66/68/ac66688dbbadb2f393146cc62e6a16c7.jpg) sat in a chair by the fireplace before deciding to light it. He removed his tie and she frowned knowing it must have been hurting his swollen throat. She watched cautiously but he seemed capable and comfortable. He finished and looked at the decorations for the bris, “Hannahlore has been trying to have a baby for years. She's had a lot of miscarriages and heartbreak. To see her now with a son as healthy and perfect as Tovia makes me forget that I'm even sick.” 

He sat on the ottoman and smiled into the fire, “I'm glad she married such a good man like Yoni. I gave him a really hard time but I just never thought anyone was good enough for her. I wanted her to have a home like we did. My parents are the picture of love and devotion. I want what they have and I've always wanted to be a father like mine.” 

He looked at Jaffa, “When I die, I think you should speak with our rabbi in Maria. I'll arrange for you to do the classes while you travel. I can appoint you to my father and his office so that you'll not have to take more time off from work if you're worried about your job security. You can convert, travel, and breathe. You deserve that for all that you've done for me these years. I have never been easy. I'm very much like Ben Gurion and I'm ashamed of the absolute tedium I've subjected you to.” He gave a soft sweet smile to show he really meant it. 

She wanted to scream. 

All she could do was cry. 

He frowned, “Jaffa.” 

She turned away just as the front door opened to reveal Tuvia and a girl she'd seen in the fashion magazines and on TV: Bianca Bodt-Kirschstein. Bianca smiled as she saw her, “Hello.” Tuvia looked guarded but he gave her a nod. His arm had been around Bianca but he dropped it as the came inside. 

“Keita? How are you?” He smiled, “I’ve been better. I’m excited about the bris.” Tuvia sat down in a seat, “Bracha and I left early in order to beat the traffic.” There was something that passed between her and Tuvia. Bianca seemed to become a little brighter. Tuvia looked at Keita pointedly, “Eren isn’t here. It’s a big deal but the parents are trying to make it not a big deal. You know? Daddy is in overdrive with the “it’s fine.” And vati just wants everyone to to be happy but he’s also preparing to destroy the world. Levi is sick and not coping with it.” 

Keita frowned and moved uncomfortably in his chair. Bianca looked at Tuvia, “Can’t you stay later?” Tuvia frowned, “No, I have to go back to Poland for a client. It’s very important but you’re staying here in Israel. You’re not welcome to follow.” Keita grimaced, “Tuvia, do you have to be like that? She loves you!” Tuvia was cold, “She’s a fool and she’s a demon. It’s not worth discussing. Bracha does what she wants and I can’t have her following me around with such an important client around.” 

Bianca swallowed, “How can I be a fool and a demon?” 

Tuvia loosened his tie, “By being exactly how you are.” 

Jaffa recoiled. This isn’t the Tuvia she’d seen yesterday. Something was up. He was distracted, his fingers twitched, and he looked at her from the side of his eyes. There was something between them more than he wanted to admit. Keita reached over to Jaffa, “Can I help you with anything?” She stood up, “No, as soon as they get here I’ll finish everything and then when the celebration is over we’ll eat!” 

Bianca smiled, “Please let me help. I’m not exactly happy about seeing a little boy’s wee wee. I like grown wee wees.” She laughed and Jaffa nodded for her to follow. Keita closed his eyes without thinking about it. Tuvia watched him sag in his chair. It was too much for him so he opened a flask and started drinking. 

Jaffa cooked while the apartment filled with people. She kept her head down, hoping to just look like help while the hallways and rooms were filled with laughter and talk. The famous Rabbi Berkovitch had been flown in and was now beginning the ceremony. Normally, a woman was asked to hold the baby but Hannahlore wanted the honor to go to her brother. Tuvia was asked to carry him to Keita and thus, they would share the honor. 

A blonde girl kissed Tovi as he passed. She touched her stomach and Jaffa figured she was trying to get pregnant. She was very, very pretty. Jaffa returned to her food but David took her arm, “Please, you can watch. Don’t hide. This is a mitzvah.” 

Things were going well. All turned to Lore when it was time and Berkovitch urged her to leave, ‘Most mothers cannot handle it.” The mohil, the man who circumcises, smiled kindly, “Some pass out. I promise, he won’t know or remember.” She looked at all the eyes on her, ‘I’m not leaving. Why would I leave? I know he’s fine and this is important. Did my mother leave when Keita was circumcised?” 

Mikasa smiled smugly, “I did not. I thought it was ridiculous that they asked.” Lore and her mother nodded in agreement. Erwin and Armin held their breath worried he’d cry when the door opened. 

Eren came inside and the room didn’t know how to receive him or react. Armin’s face was relieved and full of love, “I knew you’d come.” Keita held his nephew and Jaffa watched his face light up. 

She thought Keita would be a wonderful father. 

Her heart clenched. She turned as soon as it was over to pull out the bread that had been warming. Everyone looked at the sheer amount of food in awe, “Keita…..did you make this?” He beamed, “No, Jaffa did in my place. She did it all and has worked for almost two days on it. Isn’t it wonderful?” David rarely heard his son praise someone like this and he looked to Mikasa with hope in his chest. Maybe his son needed something to fight for? 

Levi was standing at the back looking at Eren. 

Eren was staring at Jaffa with a foreboding look in his- 

Levi’s body was seized by fear. 

Everyone was eating and plating their food. Armin and Erwin were taking pictures with David and Mikasa. Keita was still in his chair, Berkovitch leaning down to speak with him. He wanted to arrange for Jaffa now, rather than later. Jaffa stepped to the side and had every intention of eating last. 

She caught a glimpse of Gisela and Zev. Gisela turned away from her as she approached, “Gisela?” They had gotten on so well and were in regular contact. Why was she turning away? Zev’s face looked stoic. It was unlike his normal fun and light look. His eyes were tight around the corners and he placed a hand on her petite shoulder. 

A boy who looked like her pulled the pretty blonde girl closer, his arm around her waist and stomach. In his other arm, he held a beautiful little girl with curly dark hair. He was staring at Gisela and then she realized that this must be her twin, Judah, and that woman must be his wife. His wife was Aviva and Aviva was the girl Keita had dated and that child he’d said quite loudly the other day wasn’t _his_. How would Jaffa even compete with these women? 

She reached out to Gisela, “Gisela? What’s wrong? Have I done something?” Gisela turned to look at her and burst into tears. Everyone went quiet and the tension in the room could be cut with a knife. Gisela sobbed harder and gave Jaffa’s hand a squeeze before heading out to the porch. Zev sighed and followed. Judah’s eyes were so bright, they were glowing to her as he stared. Jaffa wrung her hands and Mikasa walked over, “I think it’s just the circumstances, Jaffa.” 

Jaffa nodded and the family went back to doing as before. She stood looking out the window onto the porch where Zev held his wife while she sobbed against his chest on one of the soft couches. 

She felt a presence near her. Her entire body told her to run. She was in immediate danger. She turned her head to the side to see the man who’d come in late. His silver eyes were piercing and held her to the spot where she stood. Dr. Ackermann was coming up quickly from behind, his voice low and warning, “Eren!” Eren’s face contorted in anger and she glimpsed a small part of Nikko. This must be his other father. 

Who was now lunging at her. 

She went to block him. Her instincts still sharp. He dodged the block, grabbed her to put her in a hold. She broke the hold, brought her elbow up to hit him in the jaw. He took the hit, kicking her in the knee causing her to falter. His strength was superhuman. She was already bent down from the kick, so she pushed up using her good knee to slam him into the wall. Her fist found his stomach but his elbow came crashing down on her shoulder blade and back. 

The sheer force behind his hit nearly caused her to black out. 

There were more hits exchanged, broken furniture, and then he had her on the floor with his arm raised. In his hand was a decorative paperweight from the side table. She braced herself for death. It’s not like the fight had been going on long at all. She regretted not putting up a longer fight. She regretted leaving Keita. He’d asked her not to. 

Suddenly, Eren was off of her and Dr. Ackermann had him against the wall, his hand around his wrist squeezing to make him drop the weight. Armin and Erwin were over her. Armin checked her pupils and Erwin restrained Eren with a towel from the kitchen. 

They pulled Eren away while he frothed at the mouth. His face was red and his eyes piercing. Erwin picked him up and tossed him over his shoulder. He walked out to the porch and walked into the small pool Keita had access to after going in with a few other neighbors. 

He submerged him. Levi and Armin told everyone else to go back to what they were doing. Hanji found her way over to Jaffa with a man next to her, “Where are you injured?” Jaffa tried to sit up but she couldn’t. She couldn't feel anything from the waist down. She couldn’t move her arm, either. She had felt pain but this was becoming unbearable. Keita’s face was inches from her’s, “Are you okay?” 

Jaffa couldn’t speak. She grit her teeth as tears escaped her eyes. Keita’s hands wiped them away, “You’re going into shock.” Hanji and Oskar looked at her shoulder, “It’s broken. Her shoulder blade is shattered and collar bone. She's injured her spine and might be paralyzed. Oskar, we need the serum. There’s some in my bag.” Jaffa cringed and a moan of pain escaped. Oskar moved her hair back tenderly, “Miss Meir, it’ll be okay.” Hanji came back over with a dose and injected her. 

Jaffa saw Keita’s face hovering over her’s. His voice left no room for discussion, “Move her to my room. I know we have to wait for steam. The second we see it we move her.” Hanji reached over to him, “Not you! You’re too weak and getting upset isn’t doing anything!” A very large and good looking man came over. He had a kind smile. 

Another platinum blond boy with a face to die for leaned over. They pulled her up and carried her into Keita’s room. She heard them called Alexi and Gio. There was a baby crying but it must be the one Nikko’s other brother had. Mila came up to her side, “Jaffa, on behalf of everyone we’re so sorry.” Jaffa looked at the pregnant Mila and her daughter in her arms. The girl was staring, “What’s her name?” 

Mila smiled, “Lylah Bracha.” Jaffa smiled, “She’s so pretty. Why….” 

Keita entered, “Why?” 

She looked at him, “Why...why is everyone in this family so good looking? This is crazy. People don’t just look like this and walk around.” He smiled but she noted him using a cane to get around now. “Where did the cane come from?” He made his way to his side of the bed, “Oskar. I thank him for it.” Keita looked at Mila, “Go eat, Mila. You’re pregnant.” She gave him a less happy look, “Levi.” 

He nodded, “Okay. Well, go see if uncle Levi is okay. Just hold Lylah up and rub your belly and he’ll be soothed.” Ezra appeared with Ilan, “Keita, I’m so sorry. Listen, baba is still outside and we can’t understand anything he’s talking about.” Keita frowned, “But, why her?” Ezra’s face was unreadable, “Well, we can talk about that later.” Keita looked angry, “What does that mean?!” Ezra’s eyes were narrowed suddenly, “Buzzing.” 

Keita stood up, “What?!” 

Ezra didn’t back down, “It’s the buzzing. All of us felt it. After all this time we’ve trained and honed the instinct and now we find ourselves here.” Ezra looked at her and then asked in Italian, “Can you speak Italian?” Jaffa look confused. She had no idea what he said and he went on talking to Keita in what she thought was Italian. 

“Gisela didn’t even know, Keita. She was crying because of it! Zev and Nikko have been discussing it since Yoni arrived. He’s the one who felt it. I’m sorry, I can see you love her.” Keita’s face was red, “What?! I…this is outrageous. There has to be a mistake! She’s here and she works for the agency. They have strict tests and have been Reiss free since 48.” 

Keita was so mad, he was shaking, “Is that why he attacked her? Because he thinks she’s one of those horrible people?” Ezra’s words were biting, “Have you ever thought about how some of us are those people by blood?” Keita’s jaw went slack. He didn’t understand what he meant, “That doesn’t make sense.” Ezra stroked his son’s short barely there hair, “Daddy’s mother was a Reiss, Keita. You know that. That means they’re those bad people. Maxim and Ilya are of the tribes, why do they still their babies? Because they must be of those “bad people.” We’re all of those “bad people” but maybe there’s something that gives us an edge? Blood or something. Or maybe, we’re just of a different opinion.” 

Keita’s anger burned him out, “Leave, Ezra.” He collapsed on the bed. Ezra called for Hanji and Oskar and they put him in the bed with her. Jaffa’s body was hot and giving off steam while his was overdone with adrenaline and the knowledge of what it all meant made him sicker. Jaffa wasn’t a monster like them. She wasn’t. 

* 

* 

* 

Erwin held Eren’s head under the water till he thought he’d had enough. He needed to tire Eren out. His strength wasn’t normal. Eren’s eyes were the same as when his parents died. Erwin tried to think of what was going on. Levi, however, wasn’t as patient, “Why did you do it?” 

His words were commanding. Armin looked at him, “What did he do?” Hours earlier, Levi had received a phone call at the lab. He’d worked all night and was packing up to head to the temple when he saw a number from Shiganshina. He picked it up thinking it was Eren. 

“Hello?” 

“Dr. Ackermann? This is Davi from Temple Beth-EL.” 

“Yes?” 

“Well, this is a horrible phone call to make. Your mother and father in law are buried here in the cemetery and someone has vandalized the graves.” 

“Who?!” 

“They only vandalized Grisha Jaeger’s. When we replayed the tapes it was their son. We’d like to press charges but this is so unheard of we’re not sure what to do. This can’t be allowed. People are vandalizing graves all over the country as hate crimes but to have one of our own do it….we’re very upset. Why has your husband done this?” 

Levi’s mouth was dry, “What did he do exactly?” 

Eren had removed his father and they couldn’t find him. Levi was trying to to handle the immense shock while saving the conversation. This was something he’d never normally do but after all these years, Erwin finally wore him down on social relationships, “My father-in-law….wasn’t a good man, Davi. Sometimes, we find out more of what he has done and my husband takes it very hard. This isn’t a normal father and son relationship. We’re in Israel and he is missing. I think I am going to have speak to him before I can call you back and tell you anything of use. Will you please give me the day? How long ago was this?” 

“It was about two days ago. That explains why we haven’t been able to reach you in Maria. We’ve been staring at an open grave in total shock.” 

“I promise to speak to you later today. I just can’t believe this and I know this is a problem.” 

He’d hung up and walked numbly to the temple. 

Now, Eren was steaming in the cool water; literally. Armin stepped forward, “Eren, you’re so hot steam is coming off of you. You have to calm down.” Eren tried to jerk out of Erwin’s arms but he held him tightly, “I can do this all day, Eren.” His words were calm in tone but completely threatening. 

Levi sat down on the [edge](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/43/b3/7c/43b37cdaf1d26d552875507b49b58f93.jpg) of the water, “Why did you exhume your father from his grave?” Erwin and Armin nearly gasped from the shock. Eren wouldn’t look at Levi. Levi’s anger bubbled to the surface, “Eren.” His heart was thumping in his chest, “I don’t even have my own name.” Eren gritted the words through his teeth. Armin remembered, “Yes, you do.” 

“No. Eren’s someone else’s name. I am nothing but a pawn. We’re all pawns.” 

Armin chewed his lip, “What did your father do?” 

Levi and Armin watched as the steam continued to dissipate on the water’s surface. Eren seemed to be done talking. Levi moved into the water, “Eren, answer him or else.” Eren seemed unfazed. Levi brooded, “You nearly killed that girl. You’ve been missing for days. I’m too old for this shit. Speak to me!” Eren gave him a defiant look, “She doesn’t deserve to live. We do.” 

Levi punched him. 

A full out fight broke out. Eren broke away from Erwin easily which frightened Erwin and Armin more than they’d like to admit. Armin got in the water but it was Levi and Eren who were pounding away, blood staining the pool. 

It was horrible to watch. 

Levi dominated Eren in such a cruel way. 

They were viciously attacking each other. But, Levi’s face was concentrated and annoyed. Eren’s was just desperate and rageful. Armin hoped the children were not watching. Erwin crouched, ready to step in. 

After a long time, Levi slammed Eren’s face down on the cement edge of the pool. Teeth popped out and blood stained the wood on the edge of it. Levi broke his arm, bending it back harshly. He then pulled him and kneed him in the stomach before tossing him up on the patio. Eren wheezed, his head pounded and his body gave up. He had to heal. There was no more fighting right then. 

Levi walked out of the pool, dripping wet, bruised and cut. His eyes were narrowed, a sneer on his face, “You’re such a fucking brat. I should have know these years of less bratty-ness were just a precursor to something.” He grabbed Eren up by the nape of the neck and tossed him on a foldout chair, “If you want a fight, then ask for it. Don’t act out to get one, kid.” Eren grimaced and seethed. 

Levi pulled up a chair, “Now, tell me what happened from the beginning. If you don’t, I’ll assume you want your ass kicked more.” Armin stepped out of the pool, “Levi! Do you have to be so cruel?” Erwin followed, “Eren and Levi have always done better expressing emotions through action than words. Let him handle his husband and you stay with yours.” Erwin took Armin’s hand, stopping him. Armin understood. Erwin was afraid Eren would hurt him. 

Levi saw Eren close his eyes. 

He slapped him, “Stay awake.” 

Armin started to get angry, “Don’t hit him!” 

Eren felt Levi take his chin in his hand, “Brat, where did you go?” 

Eren looked at him, “Mom and Dad’s house.” 

Levi’s steely grey blue eyes flashed as the sun came out from behind the clouds, “You just showed up to someone else’s house?” 

“It’s mine. I bought it.” 

“When?” 

“There never was a buyer. I bought it pretending to be one so we could stop arguing about it.” 

“Why did you go there?” 

“Because sometimes I have to. Sometimes, I feel like I have to. It’s where she died.” 

“Then what happened? You showed up and what?” 

“Then I found his desk in basement and there was a secret drawer. Inside, I found out his lies are endless.” 

Armin sat down, his voice smooth and soothing, “What was in the drawer?” Eren looked at Armin, “I’m a replacement child. My mother was a replacement wife. We were a fake family. Grisha was older than we thought he was and he had an entire life before I was born. The story of love I thought brought my parents together was a true for my mother but not him. He was told to find someone else. He was told to start another family.” 

Armin took his hand, “How do you know this for sure?” Eren’s clenched around Armin's hand, “BECAUSE HE WROTE IT ALL DOWN!” He let go of Armin’s hand, gritting his teeth together. “He spoke for pages about his first wife. She was the love of his life, radical and longing for change. She wanted to take the power of the Reiss family and use it to change the world.” 

“They had a son and he was going to carry on their legacy as the leader of the new world. It was because of this that my father started learning about the Reiss family and the titans. He had access to information about our past lives the entire time and he consumed himself with finding out who had the founding titan in their blood.” 

“He also had knowledge of titan biology and it’s from this work that he did his experiments on me and others. It’s from this that the Reiss family started creating viruses that would make people who were not pure titans titans. Those are the Ztitans we fight. They’re nothing like those we fought in the past. They don’t have Reiss blood and can’t think for themselves or control their actions. Only the person with the power of the founding titan can do control them.” 

Erwin frowned, “This doesn’t make a lot of sense.” Eren’s brow creased, “I know from.his notes now that titans have types and those types were important in the past to the people who were using them to fight. I had a type of titan. To take types, you can eat people and get their spinal fluid. When you die, your type returns to the founding titan.” Levi’s voice was cool, “Then that’s already happened and if the Reiss have it then this is a moot point.” 

“Eren, why did your father do so much to your blood?” Armin’s mind was working. Erwin sat down, “I am wondering that as well. Plus, we’re past the age of giant titans. I think it’s safe to say that. Armin made it that way.” Erwin’s voice trailed off and Eren, now somewhat healed, sat up and took Armin’s hand, “Armin.” 

Armin’s head raised, “Yes?” 

Eren’s eyes were intense, “Eating me was the smartest thing you ever did.” 

Armin thought about it, “I ate you! I ate you and that’s why your father was working on blood! You and I have become the titans. They cannot return!” Eren nodded, “His entire life’s work was on creating me and then using me as a vessel to hold the titans until he could find a way to get me to his son. His son has royal blood. It’s all about the blood.” 

Erwin’s breath hitched, “I have that blood.” 

Levi’s neck was red, “You have royal blood?” 

“My mother was Reiss, remember? She was in the inner family’s circle. The royal circle.” Armin’s voice was grave, “But, we have to kill every Reiss in order to free the world of their designs.” Eren laughed shortly, “Then we have to kill ourselves. Grisha mentions that there are blood lines and peoples. We were in the walls and that meant we were of the people who could become “pure titans.” We’re disgusting monsters.” 

Levi cringed, “It may be that that is the truth, however, that means we are the only people who _can_ rid the world of them. This doesn’t change anything, really. Amaleks were a tribe of Israel that lived on the fringes in Canaan and attacked and warred against the other tribes. We have to kill them because they were once of us but turned away.” Eren’s laugh was manic. 

Levi and the others didn’t know what to do. 

Eren stopped laughing, “Listen, this is it: Grisha tried to unlock the power of the titans in blood in order to pass it on to his other son. He needed royal blood because only the royals can control the titans but they are bound by an oath and magic from the first king. He wanted to give this power to his son because he believed he could break that oath or be free of it. If he isn't a royal, then he'll be ready at least to use the power.” 

“He went on to write that there is now a distinction between pure and non-pure titans. It used to be all people who were Eldians, the name of the race apparently, were pure titans capable of changing into titans with only an injection. Now, after the years of race mixing, which sounds like straight up eugenics but hey, Grisha’s a fucking radical piece if shit, there are only Reiss Royals, Reiss Non-Royals, Pure Titans, and others. The Kings that Erwin comes from are another race entirely that was brought into the walls with the Ackermanns, the Jewish people, and some other outlier races like Japanese. That’s how that all works. They couldn’t turn into titans but no one knew that. They were just assumed to be Eldians.” 

“What my father wanted was the world once again ruled by Eldians. It’s hard to not feel sympathetic. They were ethnically cleansed by all other races and hid within walls. But, they were the originators of all the worlds’ pain. They’re called descendents of Ymir and according to-” 

Levi and Erwin groaned, “Oh God, what is this insanity.” Erwin’s words were rushed in a gasp, “Let me guess, Ymir made the world?” Eren nodded, ‘According to this tale, yes.” Erwin stared, “That’s a norse myth. They’re following a myth. This is a fucking myth turned into insanity.” Levi touched Erwin’s face, “Apparently, something is true about it or we wouldn’t be here, einayim sheli.” Armin kept processing and Eren continued, “I said it was sympathetic since we're Jewish but obviously, there is a reason they became hated. It doesn’t make it right. But, it also doesn’t make our job easier.” 

Armin grimaced, “What is our job, Eren?” 

Eren’s eyes were determined, “I’ll let you read the books and papers first. But, we have to destroy every pure titan and royal reiss possible. We also need to destroy the non-royals. If he believed that there was a way for someone to break the oath or control the founding titan, then we can’t risk it. No one who is capable of bringing that horror back into the world can live. We are a functioning world. We still have wars and people still hate people but we’re a lot better off than living in walls.” 

“What danger do non-royals pose?” Erwin’s question was valid, “Can they take over a power or?” Eren had an answer, “Grisha found out that non-royals can actually have royal blood lying dormant inside of them. If we’re the only non-royals and royals then we can control what happens. We can’t control some non-royal off in the wilderness procreating and plotting.” Erwin’s eyes narrowed, “How is that possible?” Eren didn’t miss a beat, “Magic.” 

Levi snorted and laughed. He then stopped, “Sorry, this is just a lot to take in.” 

Armin hummed, “Some animals can change their sex in order to survive. I guess anything is possible.” Eren’s anger still seethed, “He wrote about his ideals like a madman. I know his son is out there somewhere. I know that he’s waiting for Grisha to hand him his power.” 

Levi looked at Eren, “Is this why you did what you did?” Eren nodded, “He doesn’t deserve to lie next to my mother. She was just a vessel for another vessel. He is nothing to me and I will find this other son and drop him like Cain dropped Abel. And in there you have another one, another vessel.” 

Armin was intrigued, “Jaffa?” Eren nodded, “She looks just like her.” Armin didn’t understand, “What?” Levi cleared his throat, “Jaffa is Annie’s daughter.” Erwin and Armin both stood up, “What?” Eren looked at Armin, “Can’t you see her? It’s in that girl’s eyes. I heard the kids talking about the “buzzing” when they were around her. I put it all together. Reiner, Bertolt, Ymir, Krista, and Annie. They’re all Reiss and they’re all people that have been in our lives from the beginning.” 

Mikasa opened the door, “Eren?” He turned to look at her. Her face was drawn up, “What do you have to say for yourself?” Eren was defensive, “Why are you doting on the daughter of the woman who abused you?” Mikasa’s temper flared, “This is my daughter’s bris for her son! It doesn’t matter who that girl is and who her mother is! She’s good-” 

“Her mother abused you! She’s a Reiss!” 

Mikasa stomped forward. Her face enraged, “SHE’S GOOD FOR MY SON!” 

Eren stood up, “She’ll kill him! She’ll kill us all! Call her mother. Have her come here. I know you have to have some contact with her. Levi knows something. I don’t care how but get her here!” Mikasa slapped him, “You ruined a memory I will never get to make again.” She left him sputtering. Armin cocked his head to the side, “I agree. I know this is upsetting but you ruined my son’s day. This is our first grandson.” Eren continued to defiantly stare at the concrete. 

Levi gave him a slap, “Brat.” 

Eren silently brooded till Erwin spoke, “Why is your name not your name?” Eren flinched, “I’m named after the man that introduced Grisha to his wife. He gave him most of information that he got started with.” Levi leaned back against the wall, “We have to kill that girl in there.” He was unreadable. Armin and Erwin looked resigned to it. Armin spoke, “Sometimes, we have to do horrible things to do good ones.” He looked at Eren, “But, surely, there has to be a way to leave the girl?” Eren frowned, “No and you know that. You’ve got to stop being attached, Armin. That’s something normally you’d say to me and not the other way around. I have had everything I thought I knew taken from me. All I have is this family and I will not let it be destroyed. I must kill them all and save our family from the pain we are experiencing.” 

Erwin got up, “The kids are all in a frit.” He sighed and Levi looked at him, “You look so old.” He turned to gently move his fingers through Armin’s hair, “Yeah, but my baby still likes me.” Armin kissed his hand, “I love you. I don’t just like you.” Eren laid down when the door opened. Zad came out, “You just had to fuck it all up. I want to know what’s going on and it seems everyone has calmed down now. Mikasa called some woman to come over and the kids are being sent to their apartments to go about their business. Marco, Jean, Maxim, and Ilya are staying to get the details. Hanji and Oskar are on alert in case of another medical emergency.” 

Eren told Zad all that had happened. 

Zad closed his eyes, “Well, it makes sense now. Marilyn hinted at the fact that her family wasn’t going out without a fight. She had talked about the need to condense. I bet that’s something they’ve wanted to happen.” Armin was intrigued, “What?” Zad looked at him, “I bet us killing the non-royals is actually a good thing for them. The royals will want to capture all of our children with both pieces of the coordinate, take their power, and have all the non-royals gone so that the threat of fighting over the power will stay at a minimum. I also think that many of the non-royals’ blood has become so weak that they’d be useless to them and pure titans would be what they wanted to invest in for a long time.” 

“Pure titans would be able to act as their own agents and not take as much time from the person who holds the founding titan. Yes, they’re dangerous but I’m sure the founding titan can actually make them swear loyalty. If they don’t have the ability to take the power from y’all like Dr. Jaeger was trying to do, then they’ll still need children like Gaia.” 

Levi was monotone and his face bored, “Basically, we’ve found out new shit but not new shit. Cool. Back to being Jewish and hungry while bitching and worrying.” He stood up, “I’m hungry and I know Eren is, too.” He went inside and made up a few plates before bringing it back outside. He noted that Gisela and Zev were still there. They were not going to leave. Nikko was walking back inside, too. Their dispositions were defiant and ready to fight. He snorted, “Hard headed brats. Just like baba.” 

Levi rarely called Eren by his name anymore. It was always baba or a term of endearment. He’d noted the same of Eren. Is this what being a parent was? Slowly losing yourself and becoming what others need? He didn’t regret it. He just pondered it. He opened the door and placed the food on the chair, “Let’s eat till they get here.” 

Each of them took some of the food as they thought about it all. Armin smirked, “This food is really good.” Erwin and Eren were shoving it in their mouths, “Yeah.” They both mumbled around the food in their mouth. Levi only tasted tears and death. That poor girl. How would Keita react? It was clear he had feelings for her and Levi suspected she had more than professional feelings for him. 

After a while Ilya and Maxim came outside to sit. “Maxim and I have been thinking about something.” Erwin gave them a look that said do go on. Ilya sighed, “If we don’t kill ourselves, won’t we become the targets of conspiracies and hate like the Reiss?” Eren nearly choked on his food while Armin nodded, “True, we will. It’ll look like a conspiracy because we are of the blood they are. But, I think Levi was right. We changed somewhere that they didn’t. The tribes married amongst themselves and never wanted anything but a simple life. All we ever wanted in the original life was freedom and to see the sea.” 

Erwin looked at Levi, “To kill ourselves and family would punish Levi more than anyone. He’s always been the outsider. His people were never a part of the Eldians or Reiss. They were allies and the White king’s friends. Levi was tricked into working with me in the original life but even after I admitted it he stayed. He wanted to be free and live in peace. To kill him and his family would be too much.” 

Armin added to it, “Also, there isn’t anyway for us to tell who a pure titan is. We need to find out what determines if someone is one. Those are the most threatening to us and our goals. Not the non-royals.” Levi’s words were said carefully, “None of us are dying even if that would be perfect praxis and a perfect righteous ending to this whole thing. I just don’t give a damn and the purists can fuck off. We survived by breaking away in the original life and by striving to be free. We never wanted this and we won’t just accept our fates now because it seems we’re in bed with the devil himself.” 

Hanji and Oskar had come outside, “You don’t even believe in the devil, Levi.” It was an old talk they’d had together so long ago. “Yes, the devil isn’t real.” 

Mikasa and David heard the door open. Annie tentatively stepped inside. Zvi was behind her, his hand on her shoulder. He was on edge, “Where’s Jaffa?” Mikasa frowned, “In Keita’s room recovering.” Zvi looked murderous, “What’s happened to my daughter?!” Annie gave him a look, “Zvi, she’s fine. Mikasa would never let her be hurt.” Zvi was still hot under the collar, “How do you know?! You met her yesterday.” 

Annie looked around the room and at David in particular, “No.” Zvi’s face fell into contemplation, “What?” She looked at him, her eyes brimming with tears, “No, I didn’t just meet her yesterday. I loved her and knew her a lifetime ago. I know she’s changed but that part of someone’s character rarely does.” 

Zvi remembered Annie’s words in the cabin, “Is she the woman?” Annie nodded. Zvi searched Mikasa’s face looking for something, anything, that could tell him more about his wife’s past. David stepped forward, “We have to talk about difficult things, Annie. I’m sorry that things couldn’t be better.” She took Zvi’s hand, “He has to be safe. Nothing involves him and my daughter. They’re innocents.” David gave a reassuring look, “No one is looking at Zvi.” 

She felt like she was choking, “But, Jaffa….” 

* 

* 

* 

Jaffa was in Majorca. She’d never been on a vacation before. She was four and her ima was eating ice cream while her aba kissed her neck and talked about the different boats. She heard him say he wanted to buy one and live on it. Her ima snorted, “You’re an idiot.” He smiled and kissed just below her jaw, “You must like it or you’d not suffer me.” 

Jaffa ate her ice cream carefully. She hated it when it ran over the edges of the cone so she always asked for a cup. Her little white sundress was cool in the heat and her mother braided her hair in a crown around her head. Her aba pulled her chair closer and whispered, “Those men keep staring.” 

Her ima froze, “I’m sorry. If I say go, take her and leave Majorca.” She didn’t know why her ima would say something like that. Her aba looked scary. She didn’t understand. Were these those bad people that wanted to kidnap her? 

A really tall man and a shorter blond man walked over. The one with dark hair was so tall she thought he could touch light posts on the side of the highway. The blond man was so big and strong. He looked like Ori Sasson who won bronze in the olympics. It was Israel’s first bronze in judo. 

Both of them smiled kindly at her. Her ima was silent but that was normal. Then, aba extended his hand, “Hello.” The blond man quickly shook it, “Hello. Um, An-,” 

“Analia.” 

“Analia, how are you? We just…” 

“I’m fine. Sit down.” 

The tall man stared at her ima with sad eyes. The blond man looked hopeful, “She’s beautiful.” Jaffa liked the way the blond man smiled at her. He gave her a box, “I thought you might like this.” Jaffa opened it and found a little cut out wonderland with fairies and castles. She admired it and moved the figures through the scenes while they spoke. 

After they went back to the hotel, her ima and aba spoke in a language she didn’t understand. She took her down to the pool and explained that those were her uncles. Jaffa was excited to have uncles and her ima promised she!d see them more. 

The next day they went to the beach and they were waiting. Uncle Reiner and Bertolt were under an umbrella and smiling. She played ball with Reiner on the beach and rode on Bertolt’s shoulders in the water. She squealed when Reiner caught a fish and tried to put it in uncle Bert’s swimsuit. She laughed so much her face hurt. Her ima and aba held hands on the shore and waved. It was a really great day. 

Every time she saw them, they gave her a paper cut out creation by Cesare Bodt-Kirschstein. Uncle Reiner spoiled her rotten and so did uncle Bert. They took her on small trips while ima and aba worked. They came to visit them in Israel. They came to her bat mitzvah, her sweet sixteen, her high school graduation, and everything they were invited to. She spent Chanukah with them visiting her giving her kisses, toys from America, and money that they told her to hide from ima. 

Ima would always find it but she never said anything. 

Aba would drink with her uncle Reiner while Bertolt danced with her ima in the living room. When aba started working for Mr. Mueller in his jewelry shop, her uncles bought his first pieces. 

She’d ask about her uncles and ima told her things. Reiner liked to work out and he secretly read Orwell and Marx. He didn’t like Marx and prefered Mann. He also said both were quacks. He liked salty over sweet and he was actually really particular about the way things were arranged. He had orders to his books, knick-knacks, and more. His favorite animal was a duck. He had kept a small yellow duck on his desk growing up. 

Bertolt like savory things and didn’t like to read. He was easily stressed out and preferred to work with his hands. He welded and worked with pottery. Bertolt was interested in only in his husband, hobbies, and work. He liked anime but only the happy kind. Bertolt didn’t drive and Reiner hired a chauffeur to take him to and from work or anywhere else Reiner couldn’t take him. 

One day another man appeared when they were in Sweden. She was older and remembered her. Her aba quickly left her ima’s side to take her in his arms and lead her away. But, not before she saw Reiner lunge for the man’s throat. Bertolt joined him and the men fought while her ima desperately tried to stop them. Her aba held her far away but he was watching her ima. 

She held her mouth and spoke to them in hushed whispers and a language she didn’t know. 

They all stared at her while she tried to obscure their view. 

She wished she could disappear. 

* 

* 

* 

Annie sat in one of the chairs while Zvi kept his arm around her. Ilya and Maxim spoke with him while Eren stared and the others tried to think of where to start. Annie put her hands around a warm cup of tea David made her. This is how Ackermanns and Lavies did things: over a cup of black tea. 

Jean was uncomfortable and shifted often. Marco tried to keep his eyes trained on the wood grain. Armin and Erwin felt like it was their job to start but where? “That’s a very pretty [necklace](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/33/9c/53/339c536fdcb3a278c7956ead0bdef5c9.jpg).” Eren spoke, surprising everyone. “Yes,” her voice was the same as it always had been, “Zvi made it.” 

Eren never looked away, “Start from the beginning.” 

Gisela and Zev sat on the couches with Nikko. 

They pressed record. 

* 

* 

* 

“We were born to fight. Are jobs were once to destroy the Reiss family and take the founding titan. Then, as time passed and lifetimes came and went, some of us were doomed to serve them as their puppets. I was always to play the part of the “first.” 

”The first to attack, the first to win, the first to try….whatever you want to call it. I was expected to get Eren and return him to the Reiss Royals so that they could extract his blood once they figured out what Dr. Jaeger’s methods were. I doubt he even really cracked it. Eren and Armin were his greatest scientific mistakes. They’re basically penicillin and I think that serves him right.” 

Eren’s eyes were like daggers, “In what way?” 

She was cool, “A father who treats his child as a project isn’t much of a father. He shouldn’t get to reap the rewards of his treachery. I myself am a child who was exploited and I didn’t do that to my daughter. I tried to make her the most normal I could.” 

The door opened again and she paused. Jaffa was moving like she had been in the ring non-stop for days. Keita followed her, cane in one hand, and his other gripping Jaffa’s shoulder. She covered his hand with her own in an intimate way. She was shocked to see her ima, “Ima?” She headed over and pulled up a chair, “Are you here because of what happened?” 

Annie’s eyes narrowed, “What happened?” 

She looked at Eren, “Nevermind.” 

Keita and the others were surprised that she didn’t tell her that she’d almost been killed. She leaned against her mother, “Ima, ani ohevet otach.” (Mother, I love you.) Annie caressed her face, “Everything you’re about to learn will be difficult. I am so sorry. It’s time you learn who your ima really is and what you’re involved in. I am so sorry, Jaffa. Loving you like I have all these years has been a blessing. Living with and loving your aba has been a blessing. But, nothing gold can stay.” 

Annie looked back at Eren, “In Maria, when I was dating Mikasa, the voices started. It all started moving around inside of me. There is something in me. Something in my blood that is connected to the Reiss Royals and their will. Sometimes, I would do things I couldn’t control and unfortunately, I couldn’t tell anyone.” 

Armin’s curiosity got the best of him, “Why couldn’t you tell?” 

She frowned, “Because it would have sounded like I was making an excuse. It would have sounded crazy. I know it would have looked like I was trying to shuck my responsibility, my guilt. When it would get so loud and painful, I’d turn into such a horrible person. It was like, all I wanted to do was hurt someone else to not focus on my own pain. I’d go fight and make money.” 

“Mikasa thought I was a stripper and I let her think that. I was just a fighter and it made the push inside of me less insistent. Then, I sensed someone or something was trying to make me do things, specifically things in regards to you all. My purpose that had been instilled in me since birth because the forefront of my mind: get Eren.” 

“But, I was happy with Mikasa and things were going well. Bertolt and Reiner seemed to not be affected like me. They were still waiting, dormant in some sort of hibernation. I was so angry at them for being so free. Then, Bertolt started looking at me with that _look._ I had no intentions of leaving Mikasa and hurting Reiner like that. He’d given me those looks, too. But, his heart always belonged to Bertolt.” 

Jaffa listened to her mother talk about her uncles in a way she’d never heard before. She’d dated Mikasa? How was that possible!? All of this was confusing but she heard the truth in her mother’s voice. “Then, I met with President Reiss and the other leaders. It became clear my time was almost up and I needed to produce results. I needed to take Eren to Uri and then get Dr. Jaeger. He was to teach them what he’d done and be disposed of.” 

“We needed to know how our previous attempts at controlling the population had failed. We’d long suspected something was different this time and that something was preventing the water from infecting everyone as it had for so many lifetimes. We needed answers for that. We also needed to know if his son really was a royal and how he’d planned to transfer the powers to him.” 

“We knew that Erwin was the White King in waiting and Abulafia was pressuring us to kidnap him for him if his other plans of persuasion didn’t work. Mikasa, Levi, and Armin were to be disposed of as non-essentials. But, I couldn’t agree with that. I thought there was something to Armin and Levi didn’t deserve it. Plus, how was I going to kill the love of my life? When Krista spoke with her father and it became clear I had true feelings for Mikasa, my true torture began.” 

“What was pressure and intention became harassment and commanding. I felt myself slipping into someone else’s will. I’d do horrible things to Reiner and he’d ask why I was doing the things I was doing and all I could say in those horrid moments of clarity once the damage had been done was “Me? I’m not….” 

“I thought it was a good plan and I decided that if I was no longer seen as a friend or someone that you all wanted to associate with then I couldn’t be expected to be the one that carried out the missions since they were so heavily reliant on trust. So, I hurt Mikasa. I normally didn’t have to stretch. I was already not in control of my own body and actions. I am what is referred to as a pure titan. There are only a few of us left from the original life. We are coveted and our bloodline is managed like Armin’s was.” 

“When I hurt Mikasa that last time, there was more to it. Yes, I had been having a sexual relationship with Bertolt, though it was not my choice. I was forced into a corner. I made the decision while lost in one of the episodes of psychosis. He was so willing. I cared for him but he wanted to tell the world and confront Mikasa. I thought it would help if I could leave Mikasa before she found out. It was as a stupid plan. I didn’t control my own destiny.” 

“Then, I assaulted her, went to jail, and the psychosis, I call it the sickness, spread and my world was shaken to the core. I had been self medicating with drugs and alcohol since it started. Mikasa always tried to stop me from going overboard but without her I indulged. Bertolt’s hurt and longing only made it worse. Reiner couldn’t forgive me for what I’d done. It was months of me in the darkness and pressure to somehow right my wrongs.” 

“I failed in the original life. Couldn’t they just accept that I would never be able to truly betray the only kind people I had ever know? Reiner started going to see David and soon he had me in contact with him. David recommended a clinic and I went there to get sober. I’ll say this, telling someone you were referred by Dr. David Lavie of Israel is like saying “I’m chosen, give me the best.” I was really given the best help available and I’ve not touched alcohol in excess or any drugs since.” 

“I came home to Reiner. Bertolt had grown angry with me and my silence. He went to train with Uri. He came back one weekend and we tried to find peace but he wasn’t ready. Ymir and he had grown closer and I didn’t mind. Krista was trying to figure out who had the coordinate. All she knew was he was to be a Reiss and Blond. Eventually, the royals agreed it was Reiner. I always thought that was hilarious and I’m glad no one could read my thoughts.” 

Erwin interjected, “Why?” 

“Because,” she smiled softly, “Armin was the obvious one. I mean, I’ve constantly been in awe of him and his intelligence. She had his family ring and somehow still, no one could put it together. This is why lose, to be honest. He has put himself in the everything since the original life as an intricate and integral part of it all. He is the reason we can’t win. I never wanted to win. I don’t like us and I don’t like our ways. I think what we’re fighting for is pointless in this day and age. I just want us to be free.” 

“But, once it had been decided that he was it, Krista decided she’d have a child with him. Ymir had a child with Bertolt no one ever knew about but her daughter was to carry on her role and line in case we repeated lives again. It’s always important that we all leave heirs so that we stay in circulation. That’s why there are so few pure titans like me. It’s been rough for the Reiss royals before. Armin made sure of that.” 

“What was the daughter’s name?” 

Nikko had spoken. Annie turned to look at him, “Who are you?” Nikko sat up straighter, “My name is Nikko.” She scrutinized his face, “Oh, you’re a son if Levi’s.” Nikko nodded, “I am his oldest.” She wanted to know more but time was of the essence, “Her daughter’s name is Brena.” He blanched, “Oh.” She gave him a sympathetic look, “Why oh?” He cracked his knuckles quietly. A nervous habit. “I killed her.” 

Annie nodded, “For the best. She was a cruel girl. I used to worry she’d come find Jaffa and smother her.” Jaffa and Keita both sat straighter. “So, I had to naturally produce an heir. I had never ever wanted to be a mother. I never wanted children or to be a stepmother. I never saw myself with a child. I went to the hospital and looked into sterilization a d decided that was my best course of action. I wanted to end it all and was more than willing to do this to ensure I stopped coming back.” 

“And then we were sent to train and become the leaders of The Soldiers. Everything changed on that trip. We were forced together to lead the elite fighting faction of the Reiss family. The Soldiers were once opponents of the Reiss Royals but after carefully breeding and infiltrating into the ranks they had created their own foothold. That isn’t to say that everyone was on board. It’s just that those against the Reiss were much smarter about how the displayed it. Dissidents exist everywhere.” 

“I met someone while training that I never wanted to meet. I had studied Eren’s life for so long and I knew about Dina and Grisha’s marriage. We all knew of her in the inner circle. She was a first cousin of Uri and Rod. She hated Marilyn and spoke of her horribly. She even went as far as to say that if she died suddenly that Marilyn killed her. It was pure jealousy. She was homely and Marilyn was comely. Marilyn was clever and Dina was simple minded. Dina’s radical belief wasn’t hid away like it should have been. It was out in the open and made no real sense.” 

“The goal of the Reiss family has always been to ultimately take control of the world like in the time of Ymir where they ruled supreme. This time, they will destroy every other race, creed, ethnicity, etc… until they can repopulate smartly and create an Eden for themselves. As far as I’ve come to know, Dina wanted that very thing too. But, for some reason, she believed that the current royals were unfit to accomplish this and thus, wanted the power for herself.” 

“Marilyn wanted the entire Reiss Royal family to be destroyed and the world left the way it was now. She wanted the White King to create a world where all peoples could live together in peace but without the Reiss Royals in control of any original power. She wanted to break the titans once and for all. Only then could true freedom be achieved.” Annie finished her tea, “And I like her plan. Royals are the ones that can control and wield the power of the founding titan.”

“So, while I was training and leading the group I met a man named Zeke Yeager. I knew who he was immediately. His eyes were just like Grisha’s and his cult of followers within the organization was massive. For the Reiss to have such a person as their loyal subject was impressive and frightening to those who were less than supportive. He was cut throat and executed on sight those he found to be dissidents. Soon, were were told we had to include him in meetings.” 

“I will keep this short. I have never wanted to speak of this and never did I want Jaffa to hear. I am only saying this once and not even Zvi knows. While working in close quarters with him, he raped me. When I realized I was pregnant I tried to get an abortion. It didn’t work. The baby was stronger than I. Knowing that I was in this situation and unable to even consider another one, I slept with Bertolt and Reiner for a period of time before we returned to Maria.” 

“I believe that they wanted me to remain with them forever as a trio. They knew I was pregnant and I knew my time was up. I would be killed for failing to have captured Eren and Grisha. My child would be taken and raised in the compound of Uri’s or somewhere else. I decided to flee somewhere my child would have a chance of being raised as a strong person and be protected from the Reiss. I went to tribes in Siberia, resigned to die there but to also give my child life and as much freedom as possible.” 

“I was found, taken in, and loved. I was annoyed by a man who smiled and didn’t listen. I gave birth to a beautiful girl I named Jaffa, not just because she was beautiful but because the woman I loved had that as her middle name. I became sicker, experienced hell over and over again. I learned that I scared my child with my behavior and I wanted to die. Anything would be better than slowly turning into a titan that smiles like a fool till a human is around. I craved meat and blood. I attacked cows and ate parts of them. Zvi would pull me back to the cabin and wash me, paying out of pocket for the wounded and dead livestock.” 

“Then, we came to Israel and the reach of the Reiss was so far away and I could breath and hear and feel. I raised my daughter and my sickness was manageable but still, I lived in fear I’d hurt my family. When the plague came, I wanted to do what I could. I hated that I was a part of the people who were doing this. I was anxiously awaiting Levi and Hanji’s breakthroughs. I wanted to repay the kindness of the tribes and also, selfishly, ensure once again that my daughter would be safe. I stole vaccines to take and was caught. A note came from Dr. Lavie and I was able to save the villages from disease.” 

“I saved the very villages that I was sent to in order to steal children for the innermost Reiss family members. I am a walking contradiction. I am aware of it. But, at least I am trying to make the best of it and be on the right side of it. I knew my day would come. I forgot my name, my past, and lived in the moment. My life is my daughter and my husband. My life is here, right now, with you all telling you these things. I can tell you where the soldiers are and I can tell you that Bertolt and Reiner still lead them. I can tell you where bases are and I can tell you what I remember from my time in the inner circle but that will only take so long.” 

She was quiet. No one moved or spoke, “But, I beg you to not kill my daughter. You can take my life but not her’s. Please, not my Jaffa. Her father and she deserve life because they live it so fully and with such a smile on their faces.” The tension was great. Gisela’s face was streaked again with tears. Erwin spoke slowly, “Annie, we have to get rid of all pure titans, all Reiss. Because, they all have the potential of developing abilities to take the founding titan and it’s powers.” Annie nodded, “I know, but please make an exception.” 

Levi and Eren were gaunt looking and Armin made a small noise in the back of his throat, “It was smart, sleeping with them all. It means they don’t know who is the father and thus, none of them hurt her.” Armin wiped his eyes, “I always thought you were smart, too. I always was amazed by your rational side.” Eren looked at Jaffa and then Annie, “Who are the other pure titans?” 

She wrote them all down on a list with the names of their children and family members. 

Keita and David watched but David kept his arm on Keita. He knew his son would fight. Annie touched the list, “I can respect that you’ve all agreed to kill every last Reiss. But, I’m sure you’re leaving your children out.” Eren nodded, ‘Yes, we’ve agreed that as long as we’re all that’s left we can control the titan power.” She looked up, “Is that so?” He nodded, “Yes.” She had her hand over some of the names on the list, “I know Levi will be sad that Mila isn’t blood.” 

She removed her hand to show Mike and Mila’s name on the list. 

“I suppose my Jaffa and Mila will walk hand and hand to the firing squad.” 

Nikko and Levi were out of their seats. Levi’s entire body consumed in fear and anger. Nikko’s eyes were wide and the sinister look to them would make anyone quiver. Levi spat the words, “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?” Hanji covered her mouth, ‘Oh, God. It’s just like Mike said. Oh God.” 

Levi flipped the table and walked to the side, “You're fucking lying. You're a liar. It's just to save your own skin.” He looked at Hanji and Oskar. They looked like their world was crashing down. Levi felt his son shift. Nikko’s hand was on his pocket. Levi saw the outline of a gun. 

Gisela stood up, “We all need to calm down. Nikko, no one is going to hurt your wife or children. Hanji, Oskar, what are you hiding?” 

Hanji swallowed, “Mike is alive and we used him to create the second plague vaccine while in France.” She told the story while Oskar held her hand, “But, then he disappeared.” Nikko looked at her, “He's not dead. He didn't want to leave. We took him somewhere safe because when this ends we need him. He's fine and happy. We left Lylah with him for a month before we told everyone.” 

This was a bomb drop of massive proportions. Annie spoke, “He came to take children from the tribes during the plague. I saw him when I was fighting. His eyes were like mine when I lose myself. He was as I remembered him: an honest and good man. He looked so ashamed to be there.” 

Hanji stood up, “He was ashamed.” Nikko dropped his hand when he saw her face, “Mila is my responsibility and once we take the founding titan there is no worry she'd do anything. It sounds like Mike was an outlier in this and that being a pure titan was something he never expected to be. I will take my chances with the probability she'll never change into one. But, with Jaffa it's different.” 

Keita stood, “How!? You can't be serious, Nikko! She is innocent.” Zev spoke, “Nikko is saying that the chances of Jaffa being dangerous is much greater than Mila’s _because_ her mother and biological father are pure titans. This is why we have to keep her still on the list.” 

Gisela watched the anger boil in Keita, “You still have to kill her?” He asked in a cool tone. Zev frowned, “I don't want to. I'm explaining the reality that her living is just as dangerous as letting Annie live and Mike live and Reiner and all the others. Gisela and I also know they can be controlled and they can take the powers of the titans from one another. We saw have intel that Annie's story confirms.” 

”They want our children because they already contain so much that would revitalize the Reiss Royals and they're perfect vessels. We have to wonder if letting someone like Jaffa remain, especially since she is so close to you, is just asking for a kidnapping or killing.” Zev looked at Jaffa, “I'm so sorry. Gisela and I never thought it would be like this. We care for you. Gisela enjoys your friendship.” 

Keita walked over to Jaffa and stood beside her. She still couldn't move. Her legs were jello. He looked down at her so she raised her head to meet his stare, “If you're going to kill her then kill me alongside her. If she's here, I'll fight. If she's not then I'm done. I'm so tired. I'm tired of hurting others and hurting in general. I can't let you kill Jaffa just like Nikko can't let you kill Mila.” 

Keita looked at his mother and father, “I'm sorry. I'm a burden as I am and it doesn't look like there is going to be a cure. Jaffa makes me happy and I like how she reads the newspaper.” His cane was shaking back and forth as he leaned on it. 

Zvi found his voice, “We're not going anywhere. We've managed and wish you all no harm. I am a man with iron teeth. If things get out of hand, it's my duty to stop it. My daughter and wife are coming with me back home. You can all kindly fuck off with your ethnic cleansing for a better world.” 

He stood and pulled Annie up with him. His hand went to Jaffa’s back and he pulled her away from.Keita and out of her chair. Keita reached forward to take her hand. Zvi looked ready to fight, “Boy, these two are my world. I will fight you tooth and nail and it won't be a fair fight.” 

Eren’s voice was strained, “Where is Zeke Yeager? You said he's the father?” Annie had hoped that this knowledge would have helped Jaffa but the rage in Eren’s eyes made her panic. “Yes and no one knows where he is anymore. He broke away with his own group of Soldiers.” Eren was staring at Jaffa, “So, you're my half niece.” 

Annie held Jaffa closer, “She is.” Mikasa spoke, “I think that nothing will be decided tonight. Honestly, this matter is more complicated than any of us can handle right now. Keita, you're not going to die by giving up. If that means Jaffa lives as long as you live then I'm fine with that.” 

“I think Armin, Erwin, Zev, and Gisela should make the decision how to proceed. Levi and Eren are too invested. Nikko should go home to his wife and tell her the situation. Mila shouldn't repeat it. Hanji and Oskar should go with him but I would like them to continue working with Levi to save my son.” 

Mikasa’s voice broke pitifully. David wrapped his arm around her, “I think we should all meet back up tomorrow for dinner. A good night's rest and a day of deliberation would be good. 

Keita and Jaffa looked at each other carefully. He didn't care how he sounded, “Will you stay?” She was afraid to but he looked so sad, “Yes.” 

Everyone left except for Gisela, Zev, Armin, and Erwin. They cleaned the porch up and started talking while eating the leftovers. Jaffa heated it all back up before taking some to Keita who was back in bed resting. He'd collapsed again, thrown up, and his fever was back. She'd cleaned him up, stroking his face with cool water. 

Hanji came back over with another injection. She looked at Jaffa wanting to speak but there was nothing she could say. Instead, she hugged her. When Hanji left she went to the kitchen and cried. Now, Jaffa was crying while eating with Keita. 

“Please don't cry.” He reached out to wipe her cheek, “It will be what it will be, Jaffa.” She sobbed, “I'm crying because of my mother's life and my own conception. I am nothing but a problem. I am a monster. I'm a Reiss. How can I live? I don't want to die but I understand where they're coming from. I helped in Russia and Ukraine. I am prepared to lie down and die if it means achieving freedom.” 

Keita leaned up, “Stop! Never say that!” She wiped her face, “You shouldn't have said you'd die with me. I want you to live a long life, Mr. Lavie. I want you to be a father and maybe even the prime minister.” 

He gave her such an annoyed look, “You will not die. I will not allow it. It is forbidden. You have a job to do and you work for me. I simply reject their plan and choose to create a new one. Now, can you read me the stock section? I need to think about diversifying and my eyes are too blurry to read myself.” 

* 

* 

* 

Armin stroked Zev’s hair and kissed his cheek, “You're so handsome. I could eat you.” Erwin frowned. Gisela looked slightly ill, “We should write it down. If it's written down we can share it with the family and it keeps us accountable. First off, we now have a list of pure titans to destroy. If Mike is indeed alive, I will have to argue he be allowed to continue to live. He is my best friend and Hanji wouldn't want him to die again.” 

Gisela was critical, “But, I assume he has use. Arguing saving someone for their use is a good way to win an argument.” She coughed, clutching her stomach, “Which is the case with Mila. Now, I won't pretend that her being married and with child to my brother doesn't seal her fate as being one of the living. But, Jaffa being the product of two titans, strong titans, who has become an integral part of Keita’s work is a different case entirely.” 

“Her loyalty will be to her mother. Her mother is loyal to no one and not for lack of trying. She is at the mercy of her blood. This means, we may need to make a choice. The mother has agreed to give us all the of information she can but we need to assume she is withholding. The choice is between her and her daughter. Do we kill the mother to cut the conflict or do we kill both because of the mother? Jaffa or Annie and Jaffa?” 

Armin pulled Zev to his chest, “I'd die die for you, Zev.” Erwin turned to look at Armin, “Why are you being so weird?” Armin frowned, “I'm uncomfortable.” Erwin looked at Gisela, “Let's do this.” He took up the pen and Zev spoke, “We do need to decide on Mike's fate in writing. Remember, exceptions will only weaken how the world we see us. If are not cautious, the world could turn on us and our family calling for it's destruction.” 

* 

* 

* 

Jaffa felt someone gently tug on her shoulder. Hannahlore looked down at her, “Hey, wanna hang out?” She had Tovi in arms and a sabbath robe on. Jaffa looked at Keita’s sleeping form. She got up and followed her to the kitchen where David was packing up a bag full of leftovers for dinner, “Levi and Eren are in the lab working. Hanji and Oskar are going to come over check on Keita. I just think a little food will help.” 

Jaff and Lore packed the rest up while he kissed Mikasa in their room. She was laying down, ill and depressed. Jaffa and Lore went to her room where Yoni laid in the bed asleep. She opened the door to a small balcony with two chairs. Jaffa thought Yoni was going to have a perfect mini me in Tovi. 

Hannahlore looked at Jaffa, ‘My brother isn’t always good with words or feelings. He’s very overprotective and he believes in less is more. I told you he’d not mentioned you before and that wasn’t the whole truth. You’ve been spoke of, over these years increasingly. It’s always been the way he’s brought you up that interested me. Only when were speaking privately, as a brother and sister do, that he’d speak of you like aba does momma. “Jaffa is working tomorrow at the school. So, I think I’ll do… Jaffa said it wasn’t actually like that. She saw…..Jaffa does that well so I’d prefer to let her than someone else. Jaffa’s birthday is coming up. I can’t travel that week. Jaffa, Jaffa, Jaffa….” 

Jaffa’s heart beat out of her chest, “I’m not sure I’m following.” 

Lore looked down at Tovi, “Do you want to hold him? I know you already have. My mother said that my brother offered him to you instead of hogging him. Jaffa, what I’m saying is I think my brother is in love with you and he doesn’t even know it. I think he’s honestly only calm when you’re near and he’s trying to live not just for us but for you. He liked his routine and his life with you it would seem. I think this has only shown him that more.” 

Lore paused, “If you have no feelings for my brother other than professional then I selfishly ask that you remain till he is well. Then, go. Please, go and let him grieve in his own way. But, and I hope this is the case, if you do have feelings for my brother then please stay and tell him now. Tell him you do and maybe he will fight all the harder to live. I think hope is a powerful thing. We’re Jews, it’s all we have. We hope despite everything.” 

Jaffa’s face was drawn up. Then, Tovi moved and made sounds only little lives could make. She smiled at him and admired his small features, “They’re going to kill me, Lore.” Lore jerked. She hadn’t meant to, but it was so upsetting, “What are you talking about?” Jaffa explained that she was the daughter of a pure titan and thus, she was now awaiting a verdict on her right to live. Lore was pale and speechless. 

Jaffa touched Tovi’s face, staring lovingly into it. Lore contemplated what she’d told her. She wondered if she could somehow still stick to it and ensure her brother lived regardless of whether or not Jaffa was allowed to live. Yoni woke up and came outside. He kissed his wife, “My love, I must meet with Judah and Aviva.” He cast a weary look at Jaffa. She turned in on herself and he frowned, “I’m sorry. It’s just instinct.” 

“Why can you feel it around me and not….” 

Lore cut her off, “Head on out. It’s fine. Jaffa is fine and Tovi is so happy.” When he left she turned to Jaffa, “Mila has been a part of our family since we were born. I doubt we could ever see her as anything other than she is and that’s why they can’t sense it. But, to insist that they should puts you in more danger. If they can’t sense it in her, then maybe that means she can’t become a titan. If that’s the case, your fate is sealed.” 

But, Gisela and Zev had already decided that was so and Armin and Erwin had to admit that it was damning for Jaffa. 

Right now, however, she was unaware and with Lore’s prodding, she decided to really look at her feelings for Keita. Hannahlore needed to sleep. Jaffa carried Tovi around when a knock drew her to the door. Oskar was there, smiling, “Miss Meir, are you feeling better?” She nodded, letting him in, “I have another injection for Keita and I’m hopeful.” She chewed the inside of her check rocking Tovi back and forth, “What are you all working on now?” 

“Well, we’re using other genetic mutations aligned with previous cases of leukemia and since he didn’t react _as poorly_ as he did with the initial injection, we’re thinking we’re getting closer.” He went into Keita’s room and softly woke him the way only a father could. Keita grimaced while Oskar smoothed his hair out of his face. He injected him and waited for any sign of sudden vomiting. 

It came and so did extreme aches and skull crushing pressure. 

Jaffa couldn’t do much since she had Tovi. Oskar took care of him and Mikasa eventually woke, cleaning the entire apartment while making thin broth for her son and having David bring some ginger ale home on his way back from the lab. She noted Jaffa with Tovi and watched how the girl handled him beautifully and still managed to be there for her son when he called. He called for her almost as often as he call for his mother while lost in the serum induced hell. 

Once he’d been cleaned up and his hair dried, Jaffa sat down on the bed with Tovi on her chest. He was moving, squirming, and making sweet noises that made her long for a child. Keita’s head rolled to the side as he came out of the drugged up nightmare. He opened and closed his eyes. His dark eyelashes were fluttering like a butterfly. She reached out to touch the dark circles under his eyes. 

“Keita?” Her voice was soft, tentative. 

He hummed deep in his chest, “Jaffa, you look so good with a baby. Someone like you would make a beautiful mother. You’d raise strong children.” She swallowed, “I was talking to Lore about some things.” He took her hand, “Yes?” She didn’t know what to say, “If they kill me, you can’t die. Keita, you can’t die regardless. Not like this. Please, fight for your sister, mother, father, and your nephew. Look at this face, this precious face. You have to live to be a role model for him and to love him and show him all the great things about this country and this world.” 

She moved closer, Tovi now lower in her arms, his hand reaching up. She took Keita’s hand and moved it so Tovi could grasp his finger, “It’s not fair to give up for something trivial like an employee having bad blood.” He wanted to grab her and yell at her for saying that. 

Berkovitch returning prevented his anger from boiling over again. He came inside of the room, “Miss Meir?” She turned around, “Rabbi Berkovitch. I’ve heard so much about you.” He smiled kindly and then took a seat in one of the chairs that had been brought in, “Keita told me about your situation and wanted me to take you on and sponsor your conversion. The more I have considered the strange circumstances surrounding your life, the more I wonder what would actually be in your best interest.” 

Jaffa looked crushed and vulnerable. Berkovitch felt so much for this young woman, “Your parents should have converted you at birth. I understand your mother is Reiss. She’s not practicing and doesn’t have a clear Jewish maternal line but she probably has some Jewish ethnicity. You’ve lived you life as a Jew, you are a Jew in thoughts and actions. You lay your life down for your beliefs and your people. But, can I sponsor someone like you?” 

“What could I teach you? I could learn so much from you, indeed. Maybe, I should have you come to my community and see what we can do? I’m still thinking but I wanted to know if you’re open to this. I know Keita thinks it’d be the best but do you trust him? Are you open to it? Conversions can take a long time.” 

She moved Tovi to the other side of her body, “Yes, I trust Keita. I need to be halachically Jewish. I need to be who I am.” Berkovitch stood, “I’m still thinking. You know, Rabbis think a lot. I understand that another motivation of Keita’s was that a young girl like you be able to marry in your country. He asked that I look for suitable schaeddchen in our community and I am also weighing that. You’re in good hands with Keita. He plans for everything and he takes care of those he loves.” 

Berkovitch made to leave, ‘Oh, and you look nice holding Tovi. I’d say he’s very happy to be in your arms. Keita, you need to think about that small new life she’s holding and really focus on your own health. I am praying but praying can only do so much. You have to eat, to drink, and to follow the doctor’s orders.” 

He went to speak with Mikasa and a now awake Lore while Jaffa sat with him quietly. He started to feel ill again and she left to fetch him water and some cucumbers she’d picked up the other day. He loved cucumbers. She cut them up while Lore fed Tovi and spoke with her about her childhood. Lore filled in more about Reiner and Bertolt as she knew them and as they had been figures in her parent’s life. 

Jaffa felt bad for them. 

Now she knew that Reiner and Bertolt had both thought she was one of their daughters and since they were unable to have real relationships with their children she was the closest thing. It was obvious from Lore’s stories that Sebastian was his mother’s son and didn’t really think much of his father. Brena was a determined and hateful leader who had met her fate without Bertolt even knowing. In fact, no one in his own town knew she even existed. There’s no way he had any sort of relationship with her. 

So, they had hung their hopes on her and the love they’d once had for her mother. 

It was sad. 

Life was so sad. 

She saw Lore was staring at her, “Did you think about what I said?” Mikasa came from around the corner, “They’re still working but we should arrange dinner.” She said it like it was nothing out of the ordinary and that Jaffa’s life wasn’t hanging in the balance. Yoni had actually tested their theory and couldn’t tell that Mila was anything out of the ordinary. 

They started cooking and Oskar returned with another vaccine. Jaffa was getting tired of their failures because all it did was upset Keita violently for roughly two hours and then his sleep was plagued with all sorts of nightmares. She realized she was shaking. 

“Jaffa, you’re done.” David’s voice was commanding and smooth, “You’ve heard all you can hear, processed all you can process, and you’re having a breakdown. I’ll take you home and away from this place. It’ll do you good to be away.” 

He took her arm and gathered her things before taking her outside into the light autumn rain. She took a shuddering breath and he pulled her along to his company car in Israel. He asked her address and drove her comfortably home while she wheezed and cried. 

Jaffa’s apartment ([1](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/bc/fd/c7/bcfdc734ddcbd2c4c81a19a41db60b77.jpg)[2](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a0/a4/5c/a0a45c8bc61db3f444ee2425a317d6da.jpg) [3](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/5b/9a/97/5b9a97ca6bfe97aee3d7655b2c16cf3e.jpg) [4](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/2a/ad/96/2aad96e8c97b324d00ea6bb5e25bf83f.jpg) [5](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/46/d6/df/46d6df6f51e4ad3461e213691991447c.jpg) [6](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/28/6c/db/286cdb738025bb35821486182dad121f.jpg) [7](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a5/4a/0f/a54a0feabba1de1cabdee0a3c86d90df.jpg)) was interesting to David. She definitely had a style Mikasa would appreciate but she also had her own flare. He took her coat off, helped her to her bathroom and told her he’d have food ready when she finished showering and changing. While she went into the bathroom, he weighed his plan. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t think she’d been through enough, no. She had and she was innocent in this all. His son was blind to his own feelings of love for the girl and that only caused more trouble. David was a man who saw opportunity and seized it. Keita had inherited his worst parts. He should have taken more time to teach Keita about their personality traits and the trouble it can lead to. He’d almost killed his own brother because of it, once. 

He shuddered thinking about it. 

_Levi’s hands covered in blood from cotton._

The memory was a flash. 

Once she’d sat down in her IDF shirt and shorts, he handed her some food, “I want to ask you to do something for me.” She looked at him with wet hair and shiny eyes. He spoke carefully, “Reiner and Bertolt were my patients in Maria but we haven’t spoken since Sebastian tried to trap Gisela into marriage and a horrible life at the hands of the Reiss family. We know they lead the Soldiers and you know as an officer in the government they are a dangerous terrorist organization that wish to destroy this state and all of those who cannot be controlled by the Reiss family.” 

She nodded slowly, eating but not tasting. He asked in his most clinical tone, “Could you reach out to your uncles and tell them you want to join the Soldiers? If you could get them to come here and ask questions that we desperately need answers to, then I’d be forever grateful.” She was having a hard time swallowing and thinking about calling them. She put her plate down. 

David was still looking but not pushing. She thought about it all carefully. “I suppose it’s hard for everyone who has been in a situation like mine to do what is right.” She fidgeted, “But, I will do it. Even if I must die, I understand that it’s for the best. I think I am experiencing what most children of perpetrators experience. Lots of research was done on the descendants of Nazis and other horrific people and they split into two categories, of which i know you are more familiar than I. I don’t want to pretend I know more about your own field. But, they see them as either oppressive figures that ruin their present because they cannot forget the past or they idealize them through the eyes of a child. A Nazi grandmother is seem as oma and not Irene.” 

“My hesitation lies there. Reiner and Bertolt are not the Reiss lackeys and terrorists. They are my uncles that bought me ice cream, came to my graduations, and swam with me in the dead sea. I see that these personas they affected for my benefit are staying my hand from reaching for the phone. But, I won’t give into that weakness. I know the best thing for the future generations is for me to do as you ask and make them repent for their wrongs. Justice must be served.” 

She smoothed her hands down her thighs to her knees, “Tzedek, Tzedek Tirdof.” (Justice, justice you shall pursue.) David smiled warmly, “Yoni has that tattooed on his inner arm. I am glad that you will do this for me. Obviously, not tonight or tomorrow. You need sleep and rest.” He laid a few packets of sleeping pills on the table, “I’ll write you a proper prescription for anything else I think you might need. What I want you to do is finish eating and go to sleep. I’ve called your parents and they’ll come over to check on you. Please, rest. You are in a vulnerable place.” 

David and Jaffa sat together for a while longer while she finished eating and let her hair air dry. David asked her what she thought of Keita’s illness. She started to cry but managed a small, “Refua shlema. I pray every single day.” 

He left and returned to Armin and Erwin, “She was given three difficult tests to past.” Armin’s eyes were piercing, “And?” 

* 

* 

* 

Judah pulled Aviva closer to him and then onto the bed. She squirmed in his embrace and he huffed annoyedly, “Stop squirming!” She pulled away and tried to get away from his reach. He growled, toppling on top of her off the edge of the bed. She reached around and shoved his shoulder harshly, moving out from under him. 

He got her knee and ankle, lifting himself up into a plank position before overcoming her. She put her hands to work, smacking his chest and pushing him up and off of her. He sneered, “Aviva!” She had a wicked smirk in the corner of her mouth before she kicked up with her knees into his stomach. Judah groaned and captured her wrists, pinning them to the floor at her shoulders. 

She kicked with her legs as he struggled to pin then with his own. Judah had her almost subdued when she spat in his face, catching him off guard. She rolled and he quickly slammed down on her to prevent her escape. She let out a cute little noise of frustration and disappointment when she realized she couldn't break free. 

Judah caught his breath while listening to hers and feeling the rise and fall of her chest. He nuzzled his face in the crook of her neck before pressing a soft kiss against the skin. Aviva’s hands were freed and she moved his shirt up to reveal his back. She took her nails and scratched up and down the way he liked. 

He kissed her neck some more and her collarbone and jaw. He leaned up to kiss her lips and to smell her hair while she pressed against him coyly. She opened her legs and brought her knees up. He took it as an invitation for more. He kissed her with more passion, more tender feeling. 

She melted against him, moving her hands to his hair. He hummed a sound of contentment in the back of his throat. She pulled his lips off of her’s, “Yehuda, you're so sweet.” She kissed him and he pulled her into his lap as he sat back. One hand moved in her hair and the other on her back. 

They remained like that till Gaia was brought in, barely walking while he arms were held above her head by Bianca, “Someone woke up and wanted to see mommy and daddy.” She walked her over to them. Aviva’s greedy hands grabbed her daughter up and placed her between them. She kissed her face and listened to her laugh. 

Judah smiled and then turned to Bianca, “And Tuvia?” She shrugged, “Back to Poland for work. He's always working and designing pieces. I just wish he'd stop traveling so much. I've tried to see him when I'm in the same places but sometimes he just ghosts me.” 

Gaia touched her father's face and giggiled. He swallowed her tiny hand and she giggled more. Aviva looked at Bianca in a stern manner, “I think it's time you say something. You shouldn't keep this up, Bianca. I know I'm one to talk but he's more like Dedka everyday. Ask him to commit or leave. If he does, great. If he doesn't, then find a nice catholic.” 

Judah nodded, “I'm of the same opinion. And he's always said he'd only marry a Jew so that might be a way to open the door to talk at least. Find out how that pertains to your situation. You may want to look at conversion.” 

Aviva turned to Judah, “Judah! That's not our place and it's not a good suggestion. You shouldn't convert for marriage.” He grabbed her hand and kissed it, “Should you convert for love?” He gave her such a heady and seductive look, positioning her fingers near his mouth before taking her pinky in his mouth to give it one long and hot suck. 

Aviva’s eyes were glassy, mouth open, and her cunt throbbed for him. She tried to find words, “Yeah.” Her voice was breathy and he smirked, “Baby, I'd do it for you. I'd do anything for you.” They heard the door shut. Bianca had left not wanting to see whatever this was. A waxing poetic Judah was unsettling. 

“Aviva, you're the rush of spring that brings forth new life. You're the hot and humid summer that sticks to the skin and swelters in the bosom. You're the crisp and refreshing autumn where we are thankful for the new year and all the blessings in it. You are winter where the world glimpses the other side of life full of icy fragile beauty. You are the seasons of love.” 

Gaia had moved down into the floor to explore. Aviva sat motionless, lips parted, and eyes full of awe. She took his face between her hands, “Oh, Yehuda.” She kissed him with all the love she possessed. He pushed her back a bit, “Aviva, baby.” She wanted more of those sweet words, “Yes?” 

She was looking into his eyes, “I need you to move because I have to take a shit.” 

Her face fell and she slapped him. He grinned and pushed her off of his lap into the floor with a thud. 

Yoni came in while she made soft foods for Gaia. He had his briefcase and laid it on the table, “Bianca?” He heard no reply, “She must have returned to her Dad and Papa. Tuvia and she had a blowout on the street. I'm glad daddy and vati didn't hear or they would have killed him. He sounds like dedka more and more everyday.” 

Judah entered and asked what needed to be done for Gaia and took over while Aviva explained she wanted a will to end all wills. Yoni just smiled like his daddy and started hitting them with hard choices and realities. Judah sat down to feed Gaia and occasionally mumbled “whatever she wants.” He was gearing up for the finances when he saw something shocking, “You own three companies?” Aviva gave him an innocent look. 

Judah glared, “Don't look at me like that.” She coyly replied, “A woman has to have at least a few secrets.” Judah wanted to spank her: hard and brutal. “What other secrets do you have?” She smiled sweetly, “None!” He reached over to pull her hair. 

Yoni just kept smiling, “Just like when we were kids.” 

* 

* 

* 

Berkovitch appeared at the lab, “How are things?” Levi was clutching his head in his hands. Eren looked spent but his newly reawakened rage meant that he’d just keep on going till death. He showed Berkovitch the six new serums, “These are some we have to test with. The thing is, he can’t keep going like this. We can’t keep hurting him like that. I know how bad he feels and so does Levi. We’ve all had a bad batch of serum once or twice for different reasons and the pain is...imagine your bone.” 

Eren picked up a humerus bone and turned in his chair to face Berkovitch, “This bone is solid, right?” Berkovitch smiled shyly, ‘It’s been awhile since school, Erenush. I’d say yes?” Eren smiled kindly at him, “Not really. It has a hard outer layer of bone, then a squishy layer. It’s made of Osteon that are round and all sorts of other things. But, can you imagine a bone splintering?” 

Berkovitch nodded, “I suppose I can but I think I may be picturing a really bad fracture.” Eren nodded, “Imagine if your bone became like a baton used in music. It’s made of fiberglass shards. Those shards splitter off. Now imagine this happening while expanding in size and rising in temperature. This happens to every bone in the body when the serum is bad. It feels like you are literally splintering and breaking. Like a handful of twigs that were bent to break outwards. Keita’s body is strong. He’s been healthy and active all of his life but this is just too much stress on him.” 

“We took an EKG the other day and he’s had a small heart attack. We think it occurred during one of the injections. I’m afraid he could have another one and since the serums are not working, he’d more than likely die.” 

Levi looked at Berkovitch, ‘My brother’s son, his only son, is dying.” Berkovitch heard the stress and pressure in his voice. He nodded, “Levi, after all these years with you I’ve come to believe that HaShem moves through you. Zev is a masterpiece of human faith and perseverance.” 

Levi’s eyes were full of tears. He started to openly sob. Eren pulled him into his arms, “Levi, we’re going to figure something out.” Berkovitch touched his arm, “You will. You and Eren are a great example of humanity.” 

They went back to work, Levi’s hands cramping as he wrote and tried to rationalize it all out. Eren was looking at it all from a veterinary perspective. He’d told Levi there was no way he’d be helpful but Levi thought his perspective would keep things from getting stagnant. Hanji and Oskar were burnt out but they’d come back tomorrow. Levi eventually made a new vaccine and decided that would be the one they tried next. 

He turned to Eren, “Eren?” Eren worried his lip, “Yes?” Levi sighed, “You know you’re literally my everything, right?” Eren blinked, “What?” Levi took his hand and looked at him seriously, “You realize that you are my life, my home, my best friend, my lover, my husband, the father of my children, and my family. I love you and worship you. I think you hung the moon and the stars. I think you’re the reason I was created. I love you.” Eren frowned, ‘Why are you telling me this?” 

Levi took his other hand, “Because, I know what you’ve learned hurts and it’s so upsetting. But, I want to know….am I enough?” Eren felt scared, “Enough?” Levi was falling to pieces, “Enough for you? Am I enough without your parents and your past. Am I enough?” Eren was angry, “Of course! What is wrong with you!?” He cast Levi’s hand away and rolled his chair to the other table. 

Levi walked over to him, “You want revenge?” Eren stood up, “Yes! I want revenge! I want to destroy Grisha and since he’s dead I want to destroy that other son! I don’t care how it sounds and I don’t care if it makes me petty and childish. I want him dead. My mother is dead! My mother was innocent and she died for NOTHING! SHE DIED AS A PAWN AND I OWE IT TO HER TO AVENGE HER!” 

Levi kissed him, ‘But, you’re not seriously thinking you’re going to do it on your own?” Eren pulled back, “This is my fight.” Levi’s finger pulled his bottom lip down, “No, it’s mine too. Wherever you go, I will go.” Eren pushed him away, “I don’t need a babysitter. I’m not so weak and soft.” Levi cocked his head to the side, “I never said you were.” 

Eren clenched his jaw, ‘You didn’t say it but you thought it. I’m just good ole funny baba.” Levi took a step forward, “I thought you liked a life of peace. I thought you liked being weak.” Eren’s eyes narrowed, “I’m not weak.” 

Levi nicked his chin up, “Really? You could have fooled me. The only time I liked what I saw was when you were acting all bratty before.” Eren growled, “Fuck off!” Levi stepped forward, “You’re over here crying about a man who didn’t care about you. Get over it. It hurts, fine. Get the fuck over it and stop crying, Eren!” Eren lunged for him. Levi slammed him into the desk and a full out war began. 

This had been what Levi wanted the whole time. If Eren, the old Eren, wanted to come back then he was more than happy about helping. “So, you had a piece of shit father. Welcome to the club. You had a saintly mother who the world shat on. Welcome to the club. At least Carla had you and money!” Eren slammed into Levi, “Shut up!” 

Levi headbutted him, “And your dad had a second family! WELCOME TO THE CLUB! I really think you should quit whining. It's not like I have a second family.” 

Something about that flipped the switch in Eren and Levi was knocked on his back, forced to block the blows raining down on him, “HOW DO I KNOW!?” Levi’s breath was knocked out of him as Eren continued his assault. He grit his teeth, feeling wetness on his face. 

When Levi could withstand no more he sagged and Eren eventually grew out of breath. His tears fell in heavy droplets. He clutched Levi’s shirt, “What if you did? What if you're only with me because of some sinister reason? What if it's just to finish this all? Maybe you and Erwin or Armin are together in a truer sense than us? Maybe you're tired of me and how soft I am now.” 

Levi reached up to touch his face, “Damn, Eren.” He wiped his tears, “That's so fucking stupid. I'm shit without you, kid. I don't have a second family, unless you count the one we technically have together, and Erwin’s too controlling and Armin's got to have a daddy and I ain't no daddy. I'm a brat master.” 

Eren was still crying when Zev appeared with Hanji. Hanji moved the broken furniture and leaned down, “Zev thought of something.” Zev had a heavy heart, “לבקנות.” Levi and Eren didn't understand why he was saying the Hebrew word for albinism. “לוקמיה.” and now the word for Leukemia. 

Zev sat down, “How fitting would it be if my genetic mutation helped save the man who tried to destroy my life? They teach us that in the Torah, words that mirror each other have meaning. Each has six letters, starts with lamed, is feminine, and given our relationship it would be fitting that I would hold his life in my hands while he held mine in his for so long.” 

Levi and Eren thought about when Hanji sighed exasperatedly, “Come on, it's good enough for me so it should be good enough for you!” Levi wasn't so sure, “It's a nice theory but….” Eren took his hand, “You've already made that serum, you know? For Zev after yom kippur.” 

Levi scrambled to get up. Eren smiled and walked over to Zev, “You're a better person than I and I am very proud of you.” He hugged him and Hanji kissed the top of his head. “So sweet and smart. So scientific!” Zev snorted, “You're just into this hypothesis.” She gave him a thumbs up, “I can't wait to write an article about it. It'll be so cool to lecture about!” 

* 

* 

* 

Hours later, Eren stepped into the shower exhausted. He closed his eyes and thought about how hurt his mother would be. He thought about how he'd feel if Levi had loved someone like that before him and had a child. That moment when they held Nikko would have been less meaningful to him than Eren. That would have killed him. 

Eren’s anger remained. He felt out of control of it. He felt like he needed something but he didn't know what that was. He wanted to see him, Zeke. He wanted to know what was so special that he'd been created just as a vessel for that other son. 

He glared at the tiles of shower. He could hear his mother's voice and he could smell her perfume. He remembered her touch and her face. He saw her smile in his own and in Ezra’s. His mother had given her heart, flesh, blood, and bone for him to be born and raised. 

His frustration grew and grew. The water stopped for a second as he heard the door open. Levi entered, covered in bruises and a stress rash on his still chiseled back. He'd added tattoos over the years. His back was finished. He had a half sleeve and his thigh and hip were done on the right side. It was clear who Judah took after. 

One of them, hidden in his half sleeve was Eren’s hebrew name and a paw print taken from Donner. Eren watched him start to lather his hair up. He pulled on Levi and pushed him till Levi turned around, “What do you want?” Eren looked him in the eye, “To go back to being 18 and flirting with an old ass disgruntled man who had the coolest dog in the world but not much personality.” 

Levi moved to press him against the glass, “Brat, today is just not the day.” There was a slight playful twitch to the corner of his mouth that Eren enjoyed. He moved closer to his face and Eren opened his mouth expectantly. Levi smirked, giving Eren a slap, “Brats don't get rewards.” 

Eren left the shower with Levi following quickly after. He pulled on one of his shirts and Levi cocked his head to the side, “You wearin’ my clothes because all of yours are dirty?” Eren smirked, “Yeah. You got a problem?” Levi looked bored, “No, let's go to bed.” Levi returned to pulling on his briefs when Eren pulled them off, “I was thinking, what if we did something else?” 

Levi raised an eyebrow, “Oh?” Eren pulled him into a kiss that promised treachery. Levi was hurriedly trying to figure it out when he felt cold lubed fingers slide down the cleft of his ass and press firmly inside of him. 

He bit Eren but Eren just laughed a little before dominating Levi, forcing him on his stomach on the bed. His fingers moved in and out with wet squelching noises that made his cock throb. Levi grit his teeth, groaning as Eren abused his hole. 

Eren snorted, “You're a little too loose back here already. I guess you've been fucked by Erwin. Well, I'm going to make sure you can't walk.” Levi chuckled, “Whatever kid. You're no top. Just a kid who's grown up a little more.” 

Eren mounted him with purpose. His cock slide in with ease while Levi arched his back and pushed down on him. He closed his eyes before picking at Eren, “Are you even in?” Eren frowned annoyedly, “Levi!” He slapped his ass causing Levi to turn around with his blank traditional face, “Well, I never have to wonder with Erwin.” 

Eren’s hips snapped forward, “Ass!” Levi smirked, “Get angry, brat. I like it when you're angry. It makes me think you've actually got some fight in you.” Eren's hips pistoned and swerved. He gripped Levi, his breath ragged and shallow. 

Levi laughed, “God, kid. Your top skills are shit. Where is the kid that took me in the back of the car that one time? Maybe I should show you how it's done?” Levi tried to flip them but Eren kept control, “You're so hard to impress.” Levi smiled full of mirth, “Yeah and you live to impress so what's your point?” 

Eren started hitting Levi’s prostate and their fighting dwindled into moans and groans, sweat and skin, and tongue and teeth. 

* 

* 

* 

Eren and Levi opened the door to Keita’s apartment and saw Aviva cooking. She uncovered a pot after pulling potatoes out of the oven she had been baking. Armin and Erwin were on the couch with Gaia watching some sort of cartoon. 

Erwin ran his fingers through Armin's hair lovingly while Armin read a small article that Bellamy had written for a local newspaper. Gaia drank her sippy cup leaned up into the side of Erwin while her eyes dropped occasionally. 

Then they heard a metal pop from the top of the pot hitting the floor. Judah had a mischievous and wicked look on his face. His smile was so smug and satisfied by the anger and frustration on Aviva’s face. She grabbed a hot baked potato and threw it at him with surprising strength. 

It exploded, burning his exposed arms and neck. He wiped it while a giggle escaped him that sounded just like Levi’s rare giggles. Aviva stomped her foot, “YEHUDA! LA’ATZOR ATAH ZAH!” (Stop it!) Aviva’s Hebrew was surprising and had real heat behind it. She was done with his shit. 

Judah must have realized he was very close to “too mad" and despite all the family in the room along with a newly entering Jaffa he dropped to his knees, placing his hands on her waist and pulling her forward so he could presses his face into her lower stomach. 

He kissed her beneath her navel, speaking in a flourish of beautiful Yiddish, “Kinderlach ? Little kinderlach, are you in there? If you are, tell your beautiful wild passionate glorious _mameh_ to take pity on your poor _tatti_. Tell her to not be angry and to simply forgive him for being lesser than she. Men are incomplete but HaShem states women contain a portion of the divine and know more than men. Kinderlach, remind her of this.” He buried his face in her lower stomach leaving kisses. 

She rolled her eyes but her anger was now just at a normal level. She took her spoon and swatted him away, “I made you gnocchi but you can forget that.” He held on tighter, “What?!” She pried him off and hit him with the spoon again, “Yes, but now I will throw it out or offer it to Keita!” 

Levi sighed, “Be nicer to your wife.” Eren was holding Levi’s hand, “You're burned.” He pointed to his neck and Judah shrugged, “It'll heal. Plus, we keep it on the edge of violence in our house.” He gave a wicked smile to his baba and aba making Levi laugh despite his want to chastise him. 

Jaffa stepped forward unsure of her place among these people. Mikasa came into the kitchen , “David said it was best you stay at home and rest.” She reached out to look at the girls coloring and ran her hands over her body, “Jaffa.” She said in an admonishing tone. Jaffa merely stared, “I just wanted to speak to David. He asked me to do something and I want to do it. I also would like to know what my fate is because the sooner I know, the better I can plan. Ima is coming over, too. She's coming to get me, rather. I took a cab here and she's not happy. A neighbor told on me.” 

Judah and Aviva looked at her cautiously but not unkind. She ducked her head down along with her gaze. Levi placed his hand on her shoulder, “I'm sure David is in his room.” He led her to the room with Erwin on his heels. Levi turned around, “What do you want?” 

Erwin smiled, “To simply see this room. I can't remember ever looking at it after the remodel.” Levi deadpanned, “You sure do keep lying.” David walked by, shirtless and wet. He was in sweatpants and currently had a towel in his hands drying his hair. Jaffa blushed and lowered her hair over her face. 

David gave her a sympathetic look, “Jaffa?” She looked up, “I'll call them now, in front of you but I need to know details of when and where you want to meet. These aren't things I can make up on the spot because I am not privy to your plans, nor should I be, given my situation.” 

David nodded, “Please come in. I've written a memo of the information I'd like you to use when speaking with them. There's not a true script. You're familiar with this type of stuff from work so don't worry.” 

Erwin pretended to look around the room. Levi thought he was absolutely ridiculous but it did help ease Jaffa. She was medicated, sleep deprived, stressed. Just what was David up to? 

She read the memo while Levi stared at David till he made eye contact. David gave him a look that bade him to trust him. Levi acquiesced. 

“Okay. I'm ready.” 

David sat her in a side chair, “Are you sure? It didn't take long at all.” She nodded, dialing the number. 

_Ringing_

“Jaffa! Hang on! I’m going to put you on speaker so Bert can hear.” _Rustling_ “HEY JAFFA!” _Bertolt’s voice screamed that he was waving at the phone._ “Jaffa, how are you? It’s been a while and we miss you so much. We were thinking of coming to visit you soon!” 

“Oh! That would be great! I actually….I….Bert and Reiner I really need to talk to you about something. I, um, well, ima….ima told me that one of you might be my father.” 

_Silence_

_Rustling._

“Um,” _Bertolt coughed in the background as Reiner searched for the words,_ “Well, you know, Zvi is your father and yes, she’s right. You might be one of ours. You might be my biological daughter or Bertolt’s. We, um, didn’t ever want to know. You know, Bert and I can’t have a child together and thinking of you as _ours_ is just better. We knew your mother was pregnant and we didn’t know by whom or care. We just wanted to be with her and raise you.” 

“And that’s where things are difficult for me. She told me everything.” 

“Everything?” 

“Yes, and I’ve been thinking.” 

“Thinking?” 

“Yes, about it, you know. I was thinking that, well….we can’t have that relationship because my aba is Zvi. But, I love you two and have always loved you like family. I want to be closer to you now that I know this and I want to, you know, _be_ with you. I want to join you and your cause.” 

“Our cause?” 

“Yes.” 

“Jaffa,” Bertolt was speaking, “are you sure? You’d have to leave your home and train for a long time. Then, you’d have to forget all about your friends and your ties to them in order to better meet our goals. Do you understand how…..hard that would be? You know what you’re asking is against what you currently stand for?” 

She inhaled, her voice suddenly coming out as a broken sob, “I know but I don’t stand for it anymore. I can’t….I can’t explain it but it’s like something is moving inside of me and these _people_ are _fakes_. They’re _devils_! I just want to accomplish something and now I know why all these years I’ve worked and felt _nothing!_ I can’t _feel_ and I’m angry she kept this from me. I’m angry she lied and I’ve felt so alone and frustrated with these children of the _devil!_ ”

She sobbed harder, “I want to know you better. I want to actually accomplish something. I want to quiet the voice in my veins and know that the devil is finally dead. I want to make an eden here again. I want to fulfill my _purpose._ Please, please don’t push me away. Let me right the wrongs I’ve done working in such a position as I have. You know, I have a lot of _worth and connections._ ” 

Reiner spoke, “We know you work for the government.” 

“But, you don’t know what I really do. I’m up in the ranks and I have a _personal_ connection to someone you might find appealing. I think it would assure you of my seriousness and my worth.” 

Bertolt and Reiner were whispering, “Who is it?” 

She smirked and it flavored her voice, “Lieutenant Colonel Keita Lavie of the Aman. He’s the son of a Dr. David Lavie and the designer Mikasa Ackermann-Jaeger Lavie. I hear he’s attached to the Ackermanns and Smiths, two families my mother assures me are top of the list for you and your associates. They sicken me and I find Keita to be an aggressive entitled cocky little boy who has made my life difficult these past eight years. But, my loss is your gain.” 

There was a moment of silence where everyone held their breath. 

“Jaffa, when would you like to meet in person? Should you fly out here or?” 

“No, no, I need you to come here. I can’t really take off because he’s got some sort of emergency going on and needs me constantly. I think some family is coming from out of town. If you could come sometime-” 

“I can’t come this week, shit.” Reiner sounded actually upset. Bertolt calmed him, “We can go next week and be there Wednesday. Jaffa, are you sure about this? I personally have wanted you to join us for a long time but your mother was adamant that we couldn’t speak to you about it. She said it would put your life in danger. We don’t agree with what she’s done but she let us see you and we didn’t want you to be taken off with the other children if the family found out about you.” 

“I know my mother betrayed her people. I’m not a child. But, let the daughter redeem the sins of the mother, not pay for them.” 

Bertolt laughed softly, “I like that. Redeem her and delight us with your love and presence. But first, how much do you know about the Ackermanns and Smiths? Is Keita the only one you know or?” 

“Keita is the only one. However, like I said, he mentioned his parents were coming to visit. Something about a sister but I didn’t even know he had one. He doesn’t speak about his private life and I doubt I’d meet them unless I needed to run an important document to him off duty. I’m in the office these two weeks and I chose to work from home. Then the emergency happened and I’m on call. It sucks.” 

Reiner spoke, “If he calls you over when they’re here, don’t go. Say you are sick, very sick. Do not meet anyone new until we’ve met. I know that’s easier than done but you have to do this, Jaffa. This is your first test. If you pass, then we’ll know you’re cut out for it. If not, then we’ll just go to the sea in Tel Aviv and the zoo. Reiner and I want to do some painting so we’ll book a class for us three. Now, we can start building an even better relationship, _Damqu_ (Akkadian for Beautiful) Jaffa.” 

She wiped her face, her voice full of love, “Yes! I am so excited to see you two. I want to know so much more about you both and I am excited that I can now ask my mother more about her previous life. Oh, I’m about to have to go. The post office has a package I need to pick up.” They all laughed together. Reiner and Bertolt said a few things of normal conversation. But, then Bertolt spoke, “Jaffa, this is important. If Keita acts out of the normal. If he finds out anything about us or your mother or, and this is important, if he demands you come over then we will need you to do something to really prove your worth.” 

“What?” 

“Kill them. Kill them all. It won’t be worth it for them to know who you are. They’re going to want to know about you and your family. What if they dig? David is dangerous and Mikasa is cunning. Their son is the same. He’ll see his father looking, he’ll look, his mother will encourage. There's a reason they are difficult to handle, Jaffa. They’re not people, don’t think of them as that. They’re dissidents and poisoned. They’re traitors and devils. We’re pure and that counts for something.” 

She sighed, “Okay, I understand. I love you.” 

They both replied with I love yous till they hung up. 

She put the phone down and handed it to David, “I think you should have it in order to know that I’m not going to call them back and tell.” 

Levi and David were still in shock. She’d played a very dangerous game and made it look like a child could do it. 

Levi cleared his throat, “Have you seen Keita today?” She looked at Levi with a strange confused look on her face, “No, sir. You saw me come in.” Levi’s face was blank, “Right. Um, go away now.” She blinked a few times before realizing this was his way of dismissing her. She stood and David gave her an apologetic look, “He’s not one for words. Please send in Armin, Gisela, and Zev.” She left and did as he asked. 

Armin spoke, looking at Erwin, “So?” 

David sat back in his chair, “So, it went well.” 

“It did?” 

“Yes, I’d say we were right and now, we wait till Wednesday. We’ll have her meet them at her apartment. We’ll bug it and then we’ll have them drive out to the hills. That’s where it’ll go down.” Eren had come in with the rest of them, “Are we going to be filled in?” Armin and Erwin explained what was currently happening and how Jaffa fit. Levi asked to speak to David alone. Eren took the best of the already made serums. They were still investigating the link between Zev’s albinism and this mutation. So far, Levi’s brain was in overdrive and his stress high. 

He’d turned to Eren after they’d fought some more and fucked more, “What if I just use that serum?” 

Eren had looked him in the eye, “If you think it’ll work then yeah.” 

“But, what if it kills him?” 

“Then don’t.” 

“What if it’s a serum that can work for a lot of things.” 

“Then try it.” 

“It could fuck him up.” 

“Levi, look at the serum. I can’t. I’m not qualified and you made that in the shadows of yom kippur while we all mourned. You made it in a fit of genius. I can only support you and your choices. I believe in you, Levi. I know you can do anything you put your mind to because honestly, you’re my hero. I think you’re so damn cool and badass. I feel like a little teenage girl sometimes fangirling over Captain Levi.” 

Levi blushed, “You still think I’m cool?” 

Eren grinned, “I mean, you’re the coolest. For real, you make my panties drop with your brooding looks and cold glares. But, what really gets me hot is you and Blitzen cuddling.” They’d wanted to bring Blitzen but there was currently a ban on all animals even service from flying due to another outbreak of plague on a plane. Zev and Judah had somehow managed to smuggle their dogs in but they didn’t flaunt them around. Uzi stayed glued to Aviva and Gaia when Judah was out of the apartment and Asher lounged near Gisela when Zev was going and doing the same. 

Now, Levi had to ask his brother something, “Are you testing that girl?” David nodded, “Yes. I’ve drugged her, she’s been sleep deprived, emotionally rattled, and more all to see how she reacts. If we break her, we’ll see her true intentions and colors. It’s a test to see if we can let her live. I ask that you not interfere.” Levi’s words were chosen carefully, “But, if she fails, you still get out of it what you need.” 

David nodded, “Yes. I believe she’d be okay with that. She’s not exactly…..failing….” Levi deadpanned, “Or passing.” David shrugged, “Armin, Erwin, Gisela and Zev have the say on who lives and dies. Mike’s up for discussion. It isn’t just one person making hard choices.” 

“And Mila?” 

“Safe. We’ve got evidence to support that she’s not a pure titan at all. She’ll be blanket protected once we get the founding titan under our control. Until then, we need to put a pause on pregnancy. Our children can’t be pregnant and or giving birth to children during this period. They’ll be vulnerable and it’ll be a problem for all because of the extra worry, safety precautions…..you understand.” 

Levi didn’t like it but he understood, “Who do you think we are? Tuvia Bielski from the Bielski Otriad? Putting a cap on babies. That’s shit.” 

“My daughter finally has a son, Levi.” 

David’s eyes were wet, “She had a baby and I know that I worry every second about him and her. Yoni is a fine man, strong and capable. But, I’m her father and I want her with me so I can take care of her and her family. You look at Ilan and Gaia and I know you feel the same. Don’t even get me started on Mila with Lylah and now another on the way. Gisela could get pregnant-” 

“Gisela isn’t getting pregnant anytime soon.” 

“Accidents happen and you know that. Judah and Aviva.” 

“What about them?” 

“Aviva wants children and a lot of them. You think she’s going to let Judah tell her no? Not a chance. She wants something and he bends to give it to her. I’m not saying it’s wrong, just that I don’t want their genuine love to cost them something precious till this is over.” 

“And Keita? What would you do if his wife wanted a child?” 

David’s tone changed, ‘My son is dying. How much more vulnerable can I be? He’s dying. My only son. My first born. My son, Levi. Only Armin and Erwin and Jean and Marco know how that feels. I’m not trying to be rude but Levi, you’ve never come close to losing a child. I am broken before my G-d.” 

Levi frowned, “He loves that girl.” 

David reached out to bring him into a hug, “I believe he might. I think she cares for him. But, if she has to die, I’d rather be sure I tried everything to save her life and get him well than have him die two deaths.” 

* 

* 

* 

Jaffa heard Annie’s voice inquiring about her. They’d given Keita another dose and he’d reacted poorly as was becoming commonplace. But, this time, he lost the ability to walk. Jaffa had sobbed till she couldn’t sob anymore. 

She'd rubbed his legs trying to will them to feel but he'd only taken her hands and placed them on his face, “So, I'm paralyzed. A bureaucrat doesn't need to walk. Please, don't cry. Where were you last night? I asked for you.” He'd collapsed again, the words dying on his lips. 

Later, Aviva came in to hand her a bowl of potato soup, “Judah said you hadn’t ate yet. I know you don’t want to but you need to.” She sat down next to her. Jaffa stirred the soup. 

“He didn’t want you to be his assistant because he thought you were so pretty that it’d become obvious and make you uncomfortable. He felt guilty for objectifying you and went to therapy the first few months you worked together. I remember thinking he wasn’t lying, you were gorgeous, but also that he should cut himself some slack. If you were working with him, I told him, you’d realize that if he was doing some improper you’d want to know to correct it. But, Keita’s always tried to see problems before they happen so he can have a solution ready.” 

Aviva reached over to touch his arm that was purpling with bruises. Jaffa ate some and then asked what she wanted to ask, “I know this is not my business and not right of me to ask but...what was the nature of your relationship with Keita?” Aviva smirked, “You really want to know?” Jaffa looked curious, “Yes.” Aviva smiled, “I’ll be brutally honest, we both actually thought we might be able to make it work. I knew he wanted to be with Gisela since we were kids and I hated Judah with a passion and the entire idea of marriage just wasn’t for me. In fact, I was pretty sure I’d just trap someone into marriage and suck him dry. He was respectable and my only shot at the time of a marriage that woild work.” 

Jaffa’s face fell and Aviva laughed, “Oh, don’t look like that. I know myself. Keita was a great boyfriend, but we didn't really use terms like that, but I didn't want the kind of commitment he did. I wanted to fuck, be fucked, and spoiled. He did it for me in those respects but he was just to calm. He was mellow, level headed, and wanted to live a very respectful life. I missed a little conflict and he didn't really understand my readiness to throw down. He was ice, I was fire. A tale as old as time, really. Just without the fairytale ending.” 

“We had just separated when I came home after not being accepted to a ballet in Russia. I drank my sorrows and mourned over three years of a relationship that was torn between countries and I always knew he was secretly thinking of Gisela when he was with me. It made sense. We've been inseparable since birth.” 

“So, I got drunk and fucked that piece of shit in there and the next day found out I was actually accepted to the ballet. I left and then felt sick all the time. I didn't get my period but that's not uncommon. I have an eating disorder. There, I said it, let's spend no more time on it.” 

”When I came home to tell Judah I went to the doctor to find out I wasn't. But, I wanted a baby and I wanted it to be his. He fucked me and I got Gaia, the best thing in my life. There was one night in Beirut with Keita, a slip up. Then, around Chaunkah I announced I was pregnant and he pledged to marry me.” 

“I have no doubt he thought it was his but even after I told him it wasn't, he insisted on marrying me if it would be best. I really could have been set. He'd be a fantastic parent and I know he'd have been faithful till death. But, I knew it was Judah’s. I was already pregnant well before that night and I've never told Judah. He'd be furious.” 

“Keita and I have remained friends that share a few secrets. He's disappointed me, sure. But in his core he's good. That's all I care about.” 

Jaffa looked at Keita, “Do you think he'll always look at Gisela?” Aviva also looked at Keita, “Yes, but not like he did. She's married and they're not beschert. It's pointless. He knows that and he should know his real beschert is waiting.” She looked at Jaffa, “Are you going to speak to your mother? Jaffa nodded, “I just wanted to make sure he's okay.” 

* 

* 

* 

Two more days went by and Keita demanded he go with Jaffa to the store. He needed a wheelchair and last night Levi had put him on oxygen. Jaffa put him in his car which was bigger than hers and she checked with Oskar that she knew how to work all of his equipment. It took almost an hour but he was so happy to be out of the house and away from Levi and Hanji. 

He loved them but he'd come to fear them and their injections. He looked out of the window as she drove down to a supermarket she liked. Once inside, they compared brands and prices as usual. 

She looked around longer, factoring in food for so many people. He joked she was getting practice for her future litter of children. 

They'd been having a great trip but that broke her. She wheeled him out with their groceries, biting the tears back to not make a scene. She shut the car door and laid her head on the steering wheel, crying. 

Keita stroked her hair and back lightly. She looked at him and he started to cry, too. They sobbed in the car together. He took her hand and kissed it. She could barely believe her eyes. “I will do everything I can to make sure you live, Jaffa.” 

She looked at his hand holding hers, “I want you to live, Keita! I don't want to if you die!” 

His smile was that of a parent that thought their child was overreacting and didn't mean what they were saying. She undid her seatbelt, face contorted in frustration, “I love you, you ridiculous man!” His breath caught and she heard the wheeze as oxygen was pushed up and into his nostrils. 

He held her hand tighter, “That's not the way to tell someone you love them! How horrid!” She pulled her hand back, “Well, I'm not perfect like Lieutenant Colonel Lavie, no sir. I'm a lowly captain!” 

He reached for his phone. And she drove while listening to classical music like they always did. He coughed and wheezed. His eyes would flutter shut and she'd worried he'd died. 

When she parked she left it running to unload first but Yoni was there, “I'll get Keita. Don't worry. He's a handful like this and you've done so much already. We should have a dinner in your honor.” 

She brought the things up and sat them down. She was overwhelmed by all the family being in his small apartment. Sure, it was actually larger than average but no one congregated in the bedrooms so they were all in the living room with the patio doors open for those who wanted to sit outside to be able to and still be a part of it all. 

Jean and Marco were cooking tonight. She approached them, “I have some of the things that were on your lists.” Marco gave her a trademark smile, “Thank you! How are you today?” 

“Fine, thank you. And yourself?” 

“Magnificent. I spent the morning with my grandson. He's the best. So, someone said you like calligraphy?” 

“Yes, I took a Hebrew and Chinese calligraphy class while at school. I think writing is an art.” 

“I agree! I tried my hand at it but I wasn't that good at it.” 

Jean frowned, “Don't listen to him. He's amazing. He wrote the book on it.” Marco blushed, “Jean!” She spoke with them a while longer till she felt a tug on her long dress. Gaia was trying to pull herself up. Jaffa picked her up when Uzi starred to growl. Judah got him by the collar, “It's okay boy. Jaffa's OK.” 

Gaia clapped her hands, “Uzi!” Uzi barked and pulled towards her. Judah picked him up in his arms, pressing kisses to his snout while holding it so he didn't bark, “I know, I know, I know. She's just like her mother. She says jump, we say how high.” Gisela appeared with circles under her eyes, “Coffee?” Marco handed her a cup. She looked at Jaffa, “We haven't really talked much. Can you forgive me and maybe sit a while with me?” 

She looked at Judah who nodded, still holding Uzi. Aviva was asleep and under a blanket with Gio who was snoring. Jaffa carried Gaia to the patio and they sat on a couch in the shade near a fire pit. It was cool in Israel right then. 

Gisela looked dead on her feet, “I've been having a hard time with it all. We've felt guilty like we made him sick and then there was you and I can't stand it! I was hoping we could just deal with one problem but alas, it's all the problems and at once.” 

Jaffa and Gisela fell into a comfortable conversation with lots of laughter. So rare was laughter currently, Zev stepped outside to see what was going on, “Are you laughing without me, G?” He gave her a wicked look before falling on top of her and messing with her. 

He gave Jaffa a sweet smile, “Oh! You're holding my girlfriend.” Gisela slapped his arm and Jaffa laughed, “Incest isn't funny.” He winked, “But, every girl is my girlfriend. I'm so amazing.” Jaffa snorted, “I'm not.” He sat up, “Hey, Gisela can bring women to bed anytime. Think about it.” Gisela winked before blowing her a kiss. 

Jaffa blushed. 

Zev pulled Gisela into the side of him and pinched her. She rolled her eyes, “Ridiculous.” 

“How are things looking? Positively?” 

Zev nodded, “We've got a good plan. You helped a lot.” 

Gisela built off of that, “How has taking care of Keita been? You know that's why the family is here. You don't have to unless you want to? Do you want to? Are you invested in him in a less than professional manner? Did you know he has cooties and a scar above his left hip? It's really faint and might require close inspection.” 

Jaffa laughed loudly as Gisela stared more pointedly. “I told him I loved him in the car.” She said it matter of a fact. Zev leaned forward, “And?” She sighed, “He critiqued me and told me that the way I told him was no way to tell someone they love them.” 

Gisela and Zev looked at each other, ‘He didn’t reply?” Jaffa shook her head no while Gaia played with her gold bangles. She was such a content and happy child. Jaffa smiled at her, “You’re so adorable. I could eat you.” She giggled at that and Jaffa felt herself smile so wide it hurt her face, “I can’t believe him.” 

Zev’s tone was sour, “A girl like Jaffa tells him she loves him and he just reprimands her.” Gisela took his hand, “Zev.” Her tone was warning. “No, you know, just when I think I’m getting sort of over his shit he does that and I know he hasn’t grown at all!” Gisela pleaded with her eyes, “Zev, he’s in such a bad place.” Zev was still angry, “You know he could grow a little!” 

Gisela kissed him, “Woelfchen, bitte. Lass es.” (Please. Just leave it alone.) 

He grumbled but kissed her again. She pulled back, “Jaffa? You can move over here anytime, girl.” Jaffa’s cheeks were blood red. She knew it was a serious offer. A boy appeared, his eyes red, and his nose runny. He had a child in his arms, a little boy, “I tried to go to the park today but nothing, and I mean nothing, is inspiring here.” 

He sat down, his son squirmed in reply. Jaffa introduced herself, “Hello, I’m Jaffa.” Cesare made to shake her hand but Ilan moved suddenly, “I’m Cesare.” Jaffa’s face must have given her away, “Cesare Bodt-Kirschstein?” Cesare sighed, “Yeah, but it’s Ackermann legally. My name is gone and my kid’s a Jew. My life is so different from anything I ever imagined.” Jaffa had no idea how to respond to that loaded sentence. 

Gisela tched, “You might want to not say _Jew_ like a bad thing or your son will begin to think he’s something bad. Also, you didn’t have to change your name.” Cesare pouted, “But, Ezra insisted on Ackermann as part of Ilan’s name! Did you expect him to be Ilan Leon Bodt-Kirschstein-Ackermann? Only aunt Mikasa has that many names and she did it for very valid reasons!” Jaffa was still staring when Keita was wheeled out, “Do you need a break from me?” He asked Jaffa worriedly. Everyone noticed the look on his face. 

He then saw Cesare, “Cesare?” Cesare’s attention went to him, “Jaffa is huge fan. I’ve been wanting you to meet her. She has years worth of your work from when you were very young. All those pieces Reiner and Bertolt bought from you were for her.” Cesare blanched. Jaffa was a fan and he’d been his regular ridiculous self in front of a customer. “Wait, you have some of my really, really early stuff.” Gisela perked up, “That’s worth big money.” 

Zev smiled, “All the money.” 

Cesare adjusted Ilan, “I’d like to see them again, while I’m here, and see how I’ve progressed or if I’ve become worse. I just can’t get inspired here.” She frowned, “Israel is very inspiring. How can you not be?” He sighed, “I don’t know. I’m a catholic but the Holy Sights are just not that awe-inspiring as I thought they’d be. I don’t really know what is going to get me out of my rut.” Ezra came outside while Keita wheeled himself near Jaffa. Gaia wanted to go to him and he took her gladly. She looked his neck and touched the purple and red burst blood vessels there in confusion. 

Jaffa looked at Keita and the plastic tube of the oxygen machine. His clothes were changed. He must have gotten sick again. Ezra kissed Cesare, “I think you should do something more intimate and raw.” Cesare smirked, “Idiot. You don’t know anything about art.” Ezra smiled and rubbed his nose against Cesare’s, “Nope but I do know animals and Ilan.” He said it such a baby voice that all were sickened by their affectionate display. Ezra moved to sit next to Cesare, taking Ilan and kissing him, “You never let me sleep but I love you!” 

He smiled at his husband and looked over to see Keita, suddenly looking older, staring at Jaffa like she was this dangerously beautiful and fragile thing. She smiled demurely and offered him part of her blanket. He moved to the side of the couch to park his chair while Gaia went back to wanting one of Jaffa’s bangles. They were real gold but she decided to take one off. It wouldn’t hurt. 

Keita and Jaffa were delicately speaking. 

Cesare watched for the longest time, enthralled. 

He was dying. 

She was maybe going to die. 

They were dying. 

She wasn’t running anywhere but to him everyday and he asked for her all hours of that same day when he couldn’t find her or see her. He saw two people who worked together, maybe played together - No, there was no way they really played or was there? - and now two people coming to grips with the fact they didn’t have a lot of time left. Cesare grabbed Ezra and kissed him deeply. When he pulled back, Ezra laughed, “Oh, I know that look. Go, go and create, mon cher.” He kissed him again, Ilan cooed as his father kissed him goodbye. 

Oskar and Hanji appeared, “We need to take some samples, Keita. I’m sorry.” He flinched as they approached. He looked shameful that he did. Hanji nodded, “Would it be better if Nikko and Mila treated you?” Keita shook his head no, “Nikko and I….” She nodded, “Well, let’s do this.” 

They took blood and then wheeled him away for bone marrow. When he returned, he looked colorless like a corpse. Jaffa had changed into shorts and a tshirt and gotten in the pool with Gaia. Judah and Aviva said she loved to be in the water and since it was a heated pool they were not as worried about colds. She lifted her up and down, up and down. Zev and Gisela were asked to go over to Nikko and Mila’s apartment. 

Jaffa held Gaia to her chest and kissed the top of her head, “Don’t tell anyone.” Keita managed a smile, “You really shouldn’t kiss children you don’t know well.” She gave him a coy look, “Oh, but if you know a child well you’ll kiss them?” He wasn’t really thinking straight, “Yes!” She gave him a shocked look, ‘You kiss children that you know? I’m not sure that’s legal, Mr. Lavie.” He recoiled, “I did not mean it that way and you know it!” 

She smelled Gaia, “Someone needs a new diaper.” Aviva appeared as if summoned, “Someone also needs a snack and a nap!” She picked Gaia up, “Did you have fun with aunti Jaffa? I bet you did!” She kissed her daughter’s cheeks and gave Keita a stern look before sashaying away, “You’d do well to realize what’s in front of you.” Keita’s face was unreadable and Jaffa thought about how she was now in a pool and he couldn’t join her without major assistance. 

Keita looked at Jaffa, noted her clothes stuck to her body and the way she’d tenderly kissed Gaia with such affection. He didn’t know what to do, “Uncle Levi?!” Levi came quickly, “Are you okay? I’m about to head back to the lab.” Keita paused, “Uncle Levi…..could you stay and swim with Jaffa? I can’t….” Levi walked out slowly, “You want me to swim….in your place? Now? When I’m….trying to save…” 

Levi’s eyes widened, “Oh, fuck no. I know what this shit is. I am not going to be a buffer between you and her. I’m the worst choice. Why didn’t you call Erwin? That ham will do anything for attention. Bye, little shits.” 

He turned to leave and Keita bit his lip, “Jaffa, I’m sorry.” She got out of the pool, “What would you like to do?” He looked at her, “It’s not proper.” She smiled, “Okay.” He sighed, “I’d like to split a bottle of champagne, eat some potato soup, put on a documentary, and lay in my bed with you.” She flushed a bit, “That can be arranged.” 

* 

Mikasa brought them soup while Keita scrutinized Jaffa, “I don’t understand.” She covered her mouth laughing, “Keita, HaShem! I don’t know how else to explain it.” There was a slight smirk to his lips, “Well,” he began, “try! You always explain it best.” She saw Mikasa and her giggles came harder, “His humor is so bad.” 

Mikasa smiled, “Bless his heart. Here is your soup. Jaffa, can I speak with you for a second?” She grew immediately nervous as she crawled out of the bed and followed her into the bathroom. Mikasa took her hand, “We’re waiting two days before we try another serum. It’s going to be the last one. We don’t think he can handle anymore.” Mikasa wiped a tear, “Make him happy and keep him alive if you can until then. If he looks like he’s fading, call out and we’ll give it to him. Levi is staying with us till then for that reason.” 

There was more, ‘Don’t turn on the news.” 

Jaffa paled, “Why?” Mikasa shook her head, “I can’t and don’t want to say more. Just, don’t.” 

Jaffa watched Mikasa leave in a rush. She returned to the bed with Keita and ate dinner. They drank and watched many documentaries. He turned on a show with Hebrew subtitles, “We used to watch this all the time. We thought Oskar was a vampire and the main character in the show is named Oskar.” The School for Little Vampires played for a long time as she made sure he was comfortable. He had a catheter and she had to make sure it was at the right height. 

She laid her head down on the soft pillow. 

She felt more bold. 

Keita heard her rustling in the covers as she moved closer. Her body was touching his at different small points all over. He reached over to take her hand again. She moved her head till her forehead touched where his pillow met her’s. Keita sighed but it sounded like contentment and not discomfort. 

“You smell so good.”


	185. The Good Soldier

_Bianca,_

_I’m sorry. I only wanted to protect you. To me, you were always a blessing and I didn’t deserve you or the time we spent together. I didn’t do right by you._

_I wish I had done right by you._

_Tuvia_

* 

* 

* 

Erwin picked up the phone in his office. He’d been waiting for confirmation that well laid plans had paid out. Instead, he got a grainy call from David, out of breath and ragged, “Erwin, Tuvia has been taken prisoner for espionage. We’ve got to get a lawyer, maybe one from France. They won’t be upset about that but it can’t be family. None of you are allowed to enter Poland to see him. We’re working on everything here at the embassy and we have cooperation with other states newly liberated from the Reiss influence. However, Poland is going to be difficult. They were all so deeply embedded.” 

Erwin wanted to vomit and he did. 

Armin was in a strategic meeting with Levi and Eren. Marco had already finished his last touches to the underground news circuits and Cesare and Jean were making pamphlets and posters to spread the word. For the first time, the Reiss were on the verge of extinction and they had to strike while the iron was hot. 

Currently, they were trying to figure out when to destroy The Soldiers. Jaffa had called Reiner and Bertolt to have them come to Israel and Annie was offering her help as a way to make amends. They had kept their workings strictly underground as of late as to not stress out Keita and the family more. Erwin’s office had become a default dumping ground for their politics since Levi’s was shared with Hanji and Oskar at the moment. 

Erwin had no idea how he was going to tell Armin. He didn’t know if he even could. 

Erwin’s fingers tapped on the wooden desk his son had made. Tuvia Smith was burned into the side as a brand. He called Gisela and waited for her to arrive. 

* 

* 

* 

Gisela pulled away from Zev. He’d collapsed in bed, pulling her into his arms and burying his face in her hair. He’d cried. She’d pretended to not notice while she caressed his face gently. The phone had jarred her awake, leaving her mood sour and her eyes dry. The winter in Israel was normally late but bitter. 

She answered it, not wanting to wake Zev too much. Erwin’s voice had been stern, “I need you in my office, alone. Now.” Gisela dressed and told Zev she’d return. He asked that she pull the curtains tighter so he could sleep more. She did so and then left for Erwin’s office. 

Upon her arrival, the streets were already busy and full of people on their way to work. The choices they had to make about Jaffa and Annie were weighing on them. There were protesters that had taken up residence outside of the street where Levi’s apartment was. They knew he was working with Hanji and they’d acquired a following of haters over the years. 

It didn’t really matter how absurd it was but they hated Levi and Hanji because they had developed the wombs and then the vaccines. Apparently, they were acting like G-d and that wasn’t okay. Then, there were the political activists that believed that the family as a whole was evil incarnate. Apparently, the Ackermann-Smiths were waging genocide against the poor Reiss. The Reiss family wasn’t that bad, totally had never done anything in recent memory to warrant repercussions, and were entitled to live the way that wanted. Actually, the more Gisela thought about it, the same people who defended the Reiss family also defended Neo-Nazis citing freedom of speech. 

She was happy their numbers were small. 

She opened the door with the keypad lock and entered. 

Erwin and Armin had chosen an apartment large enough for their family and yet, it was empty. She made a mental note to stay here next time in what was Zev’s room. In fact, she may suggest to Judah that he and Aviva stay the rest of the time here to fill up their apartment a bit more. She opened his office door and sat down with a thud. 

Erwin looked shaken but there was a resolved she’d come to know since her childhood, “My son, Tuvia, has been arrested for espionage in Poland. David is getting me more details and arranging for a lawyer from France.” 

She let it sink in for a moment. Her voice was calm, metered, “Good. I know who he has in mind. I think we need to know _if_ Tuvia was working for a government or agency. _Who_ they are and _why_ he was.” Erwin was silent for a while. He seemed stunned, “Gisela, I called you because I thought you knew all of this.” Gisela sat back in the chair after leaning up to straighten a small stone that Yoni had picked up along the road on one of their walks, “No, you were wrong. I don’t know any of this and I have to accept that, this time, we’re helpless.” 

* 

* 

* 

Yoni’s phone rang, “Hey, Henri.” 

Yoni’s smile quickly faded. 

When Hannahlore woke, her husband was on his knees in front of his books and computer. He was frantically calling David Lavie. She was startled, unsure what was going on. Tovi was asleep still and she quietly lifted herself out of the bed to walk behind him, “Yoni.” Her voice was soft and calming. 

He looked up at her, eyes rimmed red, “My brother is going to be hanged.” His voice was low, a whisper. 

She took a step back, “What?” Her stuttered reply prompted him to rise. His voice rose. It was staccato and grew more manic by the second, “My brother is going to be hanged in gallows where our people were hanged and burned and murdered en masse!” 

Mikasa entered, ‘Why are you yelling?” Hannahlore was too stunned to speak. Yoni was in tears. He covered his mouth and then ran his hands through his hair. Mikasa looked at Tovi and then her daughter, “I think we should all just calm down and take a step back.” Yoni was sobbing now, “They’re going to kill my brother.” 

* 

* 

* 

Hanji turned the TV on, “Levi….Levi!” Her voice was too low and too shocked for him to ignore her. He came to the couch where she sat. On the screen, in HD, was the current President of Poland and the Prime Minister. Whatever they were saying went in one ear and out the other because on a large poster was the face of Tuvia Smith and they were calling for his head. 

Oskar dropped his cereal as he slowly sank down, “I shouldn’t have stopped smoking.” He seemed small and when they cut to him in handcuffs in a cell they all gasped. Tuvia’s face was cut, bruised, and his hair dirty. Levi stood up, his legs heavily like lead. Levi put on his coat and called David. 

* 

* 

* 

Erwin heard the strangled gasp of Armin while he was still speaking with Gisela. He stood, wiping his brow and readying himself for the door to open. Armin entered, tears streaming down his face, “Erwin!” His name was choked, dying inside of his mouth before it could leave. He went to his husband who held him. Gisela stood, “I’ll see what I can find out.” She left them to grieve. Gisela didn’t have time for that right now. Tuvia was still alive and that would be what she focused on. 

As she walked home, the protesters grew louder. She quickened her pace. It wasn’t until she slammed into Jean that she stopped her mental planning. He grabbed her by the shoulders, “Do you remember Jurek who died in the plague?” She remembered his name, “Yes.” He seemed shifty, uncomfortable about the growing crowd, “His cousin reached out to me today.” 

She took his arm and they walked down the sidewalk. They took a different way home so they could avoid the crowds. Jean’s voice was metered and his face serious, “He says that the Poles believe Tuvia is a Russian spy. They claim he’s been giving information to them and putting their statehood in jeopardy. But, it’s odd and isn’t logical.” She felt him tug her away from the windows, “Because, I don’t think he was ever working for Russia.” 

She looked at him, “Why?” 

“Because, I think he was working for Mossad and even Keita didn’t know it.” 

That was a heavy thing to level against both men, “Tell me more.” 

Jean took her to his apartment where he showed her the information that Marco’s family send that morning. Marco entered, “I was just looking it over.” Jean moved the papers around, “He kept going to Russia but the trail ends. I think Bianca mentioned he would work abroad in Argentina often. But, there are gaps here even with the organization's help.” 

Marco hummed, “Ultimately, Poland wants to deal Russia a mighty and symbolic blow. Now that the Reiss family is out of power in both of the countries, those who are left are afraid that the population will revolt and want to oust them since they’ve been in bed with the Reiss. We know that the governments are shaky. Russia could just come in and take them back like they’ve done in the past. They could become the next Crimea and that also will put pressure on Ukraine.” 

Jean sat back, “He could tell them who he’s really working for.” 

Gisela interjected, “Won’t matter. He shouldn’t say it’s Israel because we don’t need the extra slander while trying to unite the world against war. Russia is still at war with China. China and most other Asian countries have united together against the west in a unique move. The Middle East is still the same shit show. I mean, we’re making headway with Bahrain. We’re making headway with Morocco again. South America is still up for grabs.” 

Marco and Jean exchanged worried looks, “Listen, I’ll make copies. Take them and look them over. You know...Keita might know something.” She swallowed, “True.” She stood and Marco made photocopies while she waited by the window. Jean’s paintings lined the walls. Bellamy and Gio came out of them rooms, “Gigi.” Bellamy and Gio had no idea. She didn’t tell them. She couldn’t. 

Gisela walked to Levi and Eren’s apartment with a heavy heart and hands. 

* 

* 

* 

Keita moved in bed closer to Jaffa. She was awake but not in any hurry to leave. It had been a dreamless sleep for them both and they were enjoying the silence. A few yells were heard suddenly. Keita sat up too quickly, his head spinning. “What was that?” Jaffa sat up, “I’ll check.” She got out of bed and went out to the living room. Mikasa was folding laundry and Hannahlore seemed dazed. 

Jaffa took a step forward, “Who yelled?” Lore cleared her throat, “Yoni.” She explained their situation and Jaffa listened, frozen in place. When Lore went back to her room, Mikasa finished the folding and placed it back in the basket. Jaffa touched her arm, “You knew already.” 

Mikasa wiped her nose on her sleeve, “David got word last night. He’s been working on trying to secure a release but things didn’t work out as planned.” She looked at Jaffa, “My son is where my priorities lie right now. I feel selfish and like actual human garbage because I am not able to devote the energy I need to for Tuvia. I am trying to hold it together but it looks like we’ll be sitting shiva for more than one person this month.” 

She took Jaffa’s hand, “Distract Keita. He’ll take it poorly. I’m going to try and get more information from David.” She let go of her hand and returned to her duties. 

Jaffa went back to Keita’s room but he’d received an email. He handed her the phone. Jaffa curled into a ball reading it. He sat up, “Help me dress, Jaffa. I need to go into the office.” She shook her head, “You are _not_ going in the office!” Keita was already on the move, “I am.” She argued with him but it was no use. He seemed to enjoy it more than anything. 

When she sat him back down on the bed to tie his tye, Gisela entered, “I have papers for you to look at. They’re sent by the Organization.” Keita moved into his wheelchair. His tone was heavy, “Good. Let’s head to the office. I’ll review them in the car.” Gisela nodded and Jaffa pushed him towards the door. 

* 

* 

* 

Keita read the papers while they rode. His vision started to fail. He put the pages down and sighed. Jaffa was talking to Gisela in the easy manner they’d always had. He looked at Gisela’s hair. It fell around her shoulders in heavy curls. She looked radiant and reminded him of winter France. In contrast, Jaffa was warm and reminded him of hot summers in the desert. 

The music was on a popular opera channel and her voice filled the car. She asked they turn it off but he interceded. He loved her voice. 

* 

* 

* 

Levi and David were looking at the reports from Henri. Henri Dubois knew Yoni well. Yoni was in the room with him on speaker, “What would they be willing to take for him?” Henri groaned, “Yonatan, I understand that in the past we could exchange things but this is not that simple. I must go. I will call in exactly one hour.” 

Levi placed his hand on David’s shoulder, “Achki, is there anyway we can do a recon mission?” David was shaking, “No, not at all. They’re making a show of him. They’re making a point!” He threw one of the pens across the table but Gisela caught it, “David, I have information that I’d like to add.” 

She placed the file on the table and Levi opened it, “Shit.” Keita and Jaffa entered to David’s horror, “Gaon, (term of endearment) you should be at home resting! Captain Meir! I expected more of you!” She gave him a stern look, “With all due respect, I’m dealing with your Gaon and he’s more of a boring Posek but whatever.” Levi smirked, “I like your bite.” David sighed, “You like strong women.” 

Keita shrugged, “We all do.” 

They read the file and started to contemplate things. Keita was quiet, “Tuvia was working in Mossad and not even I had the clearance to know why and what he was doing. I think I can piece things together with this information.” 

Gisela drank her turkish coffee, “I think a meeting will be arranged with the Prime Minister soon.” He looked at her, “You've seen it?” She nodded, “I wonder how they caught him.” It was the thought on everyone's mind. 

When the PM entered, she sat down with a thud, “I’ve never dreamed that after taking up this position only a few months ago I’d be here dealing with this. I know Tuvia well. He has been one of our best agents. Keeping him a secret with Keita working so diligently has been a challenge at best and a nightmare at worst. Colonel Lavie is formidable.” 

She gave him a sympathetic look and Jaffa cleared her throat. Levi drank his coca cola slowly. 

The PM continued, “There is a man who is very dangerous. We have no idea what his true motives are and we don’t know much about him. Tuvia was slowly putting himself closer and closer to him and reporting to us about his workings.” 

Levi closed his eyes, “Zeke?” Her long black lashes fluttered, “Yes. We call him Ape: _A political existence_. He believes in a radical ideology that is highly politicized and affects all class structures. He claims he can put the world into an order that will revolutionize the races and establish a hierarchy unmatched previously. With the Reiss family having unlimited powers, we haven’t been sleeping on him.” 

Keita and David looked at the papers, “May we have a private audience with you?” She nodded, “Yes, I know all about you David. You never gave up on your brother. It’s a good thing. He saved the world. Let’s hope he can do it again.” Gisela got up to leave but Keita wanted her to stay. Jaffa and the others went outside into the breezeway. Levi asked her to take her to her mother, “Why?” 

He sighed, “I need to know more about Zeke. He’s….Eren’s brother. If I know something, I can plan for it. I love my husband and I don’t need him finding out anything extremely upsetting on the fly or he’ll turn into a killer again.” He snorted, “He’s a really ridiculous brat.” She took him with her out to the car, “I’ll let ima know you’re coming.” 

* 

* 

* 

Erwin and Armin called One Eye, “He found out that the loyalty to the Reiss family was much larger than ever thought. Many are still in power under their control. He knows their secrets, where they hide their money, and their lovers. Tuvia was embedded in society as an artist and handsome loner. I myself have many of his pieces. They speak when others cannot.” 

Armin frowned, “It’s no time to wax poetic. Tell me how we can get him out.” 

“Henri Dubois is a great start. He is clean and cunning. He’ll already be asking the pope and others to speak out on Tuvia’s part. Tuvia is merely a young boy caught up in the world of old lies and subterfuge.” 

Armin was annoyed, “I want a concrete plan.” 

Erwin leaned forward, “What if we can arrange for a trade?” 

One Eye thought Erwin was most cunning of all, “Israel will never give them their prisoners. None of them are worth the risk of entrenching the Reiss sympathizers deeper into the fabric of our world.” 

Erwin sat back, “He was transmitting daily. What were the transmissions about?” One Eye coughed, “I’d ask that you wait it out.” He hung up and Erwin slammed his fists on the table. 

Armin grabbed his coat, “We’re going to Denmark.” Erwin took him by the arm, “It’s futile.” Armin pulled his arm back, “It’s something better than this.” There was a phone call. Erwin and Armin were asked to meet the Prime Minister. They grabbed their coats, running into Bianca, “Where is he?” 

“He’s fine, just go home.” 

Bianca slapped him, “Liar.” 

She went back out and Armin held his cheek in his hand. Erwin sighed, “I’ll never understand them. Judah and Aviva make more sense.” 

Bianca’s world was caving in, “You promised me, red headed bastard. You promised me!” She screamed, leaning between her legs to get it all out. 

* 

* 

* 

“You’ll go to Argentina and make friends, lots of friends. You’re going to learn everyone’s name and become a part of the expatriate community there.” 

“Who am I?” 

“You’re a Polish Iraqi.” 

“I’m Iraqi? Really? A redhead with fair complexion?” 

“Your mother is Polish and your father is Iraqi. His parents were also a mixed marriage, a fairer Turkish mother and Iraqi father. Read the papers, learn the story, and listen to us.” 

“I think this isn’t going to work.” 

“It will. Now, once you embed in Argentina, you’ll move to Iraq and live there for a long time on and off. We’re sure that the target lives there right now. You’ll have long periods of time where you’ll return to Argentina as your cover, enter back into Europe as yourself, report to Israel, and then head to Poland where you’ll work your way up in the nationalist movement as yourself where the Reiss are most embedded. You'll claim to have turned against your family.” 

“And you think this is going to work? That one man can live in that many places and fool that many people? I’m one person.” 

“You'll be _**two**_ people. You’re the son of a king. We know about your father and we know about your family. You cannot speak with your brother or cousins about this. This lives and dies with you. Only five people will know who you are and three will know your mission.” 

“I still think we should rethink some of it. Two lives, one man…..” 

“You’re a pain.” 

“No, I’m right. There’s a difference. This is the burden of a Smith.” 

* 

* 

* 

She dropped her bags at the foot of the road where the bus stop left her. She huffed not knowing which way to go. There was a storm coming and kids were riding up and down on their bicycles down the country road wreaking havoc on all they found. She wasn’t intending to be a victim. She rolled her bags down the road till she met a man, “Hello?” 

He spoke in Polish, his tone annoyed, “Get away.” She had her papa’s temper, “Oh? Get away?” In perfect Polish she’d learned from Erwin, “Tell me where Tuvia Smith lives or I’ll hand you over to those punks down the street!” He took a step back and pointed through the woods before spitting at her feet. She took off through the woods, the sky turning darker by the minute. 

Tuvia was home from Argentina. He’d be there for a month and then it was back to Iraq. After working the system for so long he’d finally cut his time in Argentina to “vacation” length. It was a needed step in the visa dance he was engaged in. Iraq would be his home away from home from now on. 

It had been easy for him to blend in Argentina. He’d landed, met a man and woman who taught him Spanish with an Iraqi and Polish accent, and he’d enrolled in a few university classes before making his way into the circles of old money that ran the community there. 

He lived in the best gated community, knew the most influential leaders, flirted with the most beautiful daughters of those leaders, and even earned the patronage of their mothers and grandparents. 

His name when working there was Cezary Jameel which never ceased to amuse him. His Polish name was a version of Cesare’s and he knew he’d let his ego get big knowing that. Tuvia didn’t admit it, but he found comfort in the name. He missed his family. 

He had two houses. One was where Tuvia Smith pretended to live while there. He used it only to change into Cezary and came and went only under the cover of night. He wished he could speak to Lore or someone in the family as the hours grew longer and the stakes higher. It was best to not think of them while working. His moment of truth came when he expressed to the upper echelons of Argentina's Iraqi expatriate community his want to return to Iraq and become more in touch with his heritage. His story was compelling to his new friends. 

He had been raised Catholic and wanted to convert to Islam. His entire life had been his mother smothering him with her religion and his father’s silent repression of his childhood. They died in a car crash leaving him well off but an orphan. He’d recently been revisiting his father’s roots. He wanted to return to what his father had left in order to understand him better. 

His mother had made herself clear to him and thus, he was able to reject her faith with no hesitation. 

It just wasn’t for him. 

He was immediately put in touch with an elder in Iraq and he had his pick of where he wanted to settle. Cezary even took some of his new friends to see his parent’s grave in Iraq. There, he glimpsed his target. He was becoming known to him and he reported back to Mossad that there was a good chance things would work out. 

In Iraq, he quickly became friends with the young elite and old. He was among the most secretive of social circles. He held lavish parties for his friends, took conversion classes to learn how to become a good Muslim, and then spent his free time volunteering and spending what seemed to be limitless money. It wasn’t until his friends turned their talk to politics that he made the important impression. 

He was broadly nationalistic, hostile towards Israel and other countries he saw as weak and diluted, and he wanted change the world while making Iraq stronger and his people free. He believed that a restructuring of the world hierarchy was needed. A new system had to emerge to break the cycle. He spoke broadly for a specific reason and they seemed to interpret it the way he’d hoped. Soon, he was in touch with The Soldiers. 

While working his way into the organization and learning more about his religion, he continued his playboy antics and his popularity grew. He was asked to translate sensitive documents into different languages, carry packages, and convert new soldiers to the cause. He even became friends with the cabinet in Iraq, all under the guise of his alias. 

It had been a worry for him that he’d no longer be able to make his pieces as Tuvia Smith. But, since he was never photographed and had his pieces handled through a carrier, nothing had ever been revealed. True, he couldn’t work on any pieces while undercover, but those precious weeks or months he had in Poland in his home as himself made for an explosion of creativity. 

He was working on a bassinet for Lore whenever she conceived. He knew it’d happen. He felt it in his bones that she’d bare a child of her own from her own loins. He just wondered if it be for his brother. He doubted Yoni would ever tell her how he really felt. 

It was silent, peaceful, smelled like rain. 

But, his solitude was disturbed by the sound of heavy bags hitting the gravel around his workshop, “This place is ridiculous. You couldn’t be anymore absurd in living in a shack like this. Dedka lives in luxury now. He wouldn’t ever return to that cabin in the wasteland of Siberia for all the money in the world.” 

She was soaking wet from rainfall, covered in mud, and her hair had twigs in it. He looked at her with an unamused look on his face, “Why are you here?” She cocked her head to the side, “Yoni asked me to come and Bellamy is stopping by in a week on his way over to Ukraine.” 

Tuvia snorted, “That’s news to me.” 

She picked her bags up walking towards him, “Is there running water or will I have to fetch it?” He opened the door, “There’s running water. The hot water heater is broken, though.” She sighed, “You best have pots I can heat water in.” 

“Under the sink. But, I’d think that’d be beneath you.” 

She laid her bags by the wall, “Never underestimate me.” 

He carried her bags the rest of the way to her room before leaving her to unpack. 

When she came to the kitchen, the water was boiled and ready, “I’ve got stuff to do in the shop. Let’s get this done.” He was brooding over the pot while trying to carry it without spilling any water. It must have weighed a lot. 

When he put it in the bathroom she cocked her head to the side and smirked, “Are you in love with me?” 

He grabbed another bowl for her to use, “I’m not stupid enough to fall in love with you.” 

After she bathed, she went into the kitchen and looked at his food supplies. He was nowhere to be found and it was getting very late. She made dinner and saved some for him. When she grew tired of waiting, she made it warm again and went to the shop. He was inside, working up a sweat and intensely carving on a piece. 

She knocked, “I made dinner.” 

He didn’t respond. 

When he registered what she’d said she’d already left. 

He ate her food and sat down thinking. 

_This isn’t good for me. She isn’t good for me at all._

* 

Tuvia and Bellamy both agreed that Alexi was infatuated with Bianca and she seemed to return his infatuation to some degree. But, there was something amiss. 

“I think she’s holding out for someone.” Bellamy’s cool tone wedged itself between them, “I think you know she is.” 

Tuvia drank his coffee, “Anyone who loves her is a fool. She’s beautiful, educated, traveled, and insatiable.” 

Bellamy smiled, “Alexi’s sister is most amiable.” 

Tuvia raised his eyebrow, “HaShem, if you all start marrying each other our entire family will be related.” Bellamy smiled brighter, “What’s wrong with that? You don’t care for our family to grow and be more connected? Tuvia, honestly, who could we marry? No one would understand. We're not like you. You took a vow to never marry or have a partner. You like solitude and silence. It's not for everyone.” 

He had a point but still, “Your sister dated many out of the family.” 

“My sister is similar to Aviva: strong willed.” 

Tuvia laughed and so did Bellamy. Then, Bellamy became serious, “And Gisela and Nikko….Zev says it, too. They say that there are Reiss everywhere and at least I know my family isn’t a secret Reiss in hiding.” 

Bellamy straightened up when Alexi and Bianca entered. She was wearing Tuvia’s flannel shirt to keep the cold out. Alexi didn’t seem to mind, “Let’s go drinking and gambling.” Bellamy snorted, “I’ll pass. That’s not what Christ would approve of.” Alexi leaned over him, “Are you serious?” 

Bellamy stood, “You were raised Russian and I was raised Roman. You could do one or the other but both at the same time is ridiculous.” 

Bianca looked at Tuvia, “You want to come or are you going to stay at home like an old Dedka?” The the way she said dedka was appealing. He smirked at her flawless sensuality. 

“I'll come.” 

* 

She packed her things a week after Bellamy left, “You want me to go?” He looked at her, “”What kind of question is that?” 

She shrugged, “A question.” 

He turned to head back to his shop and she finished packing. He slept in the shop and missed her leaving. She had cleaned and cooked him things to last the week. It was a blessing. 

* 

Cezary was sitting on his balcony overlooking the capital while his friends from the interior had a private party with hookers and mistresses in his apartment. 

Yesterday, he'd been taken to a secret base where the Iraqis were positioning themselves to join Russia in the upcoming war. He was taken to their nuclear program deep under the earth to avoid drones locating it. A mom and pop shop was located above to camouflage it's deadly location. Anytime he was too quiet, they'd press him and he'd launch into fantastic enthusiasm for the Soldiers and upcoming war that only a Smith could do. 

His hair was colored and he wore contacts to obscure his eye color. He was clean shaven. He never let his red beard grow in while working. He dyed his eyebrows while sending messages abroad to his handlers. 

He transmitted information daily, sometimes more than once and even when it was most dangerous. 

The Soldiers were increasingly giving him more and more responsibility for organizing and recruiting to their ranks. He was now focusing on _Ape._

His speeches were recorded on tapes that were administered.around the world. 

_“A political existence is a true existence. Nationalism, socialism, communism -all the isms- are parts to one whole. The whole is the true balance in the world of humans. We have strove for equalities, however farfetched or idealized, in an attempt to find peace. However, we always feel empty and aghast when our goals lead to the oppression and pain of others._

_Very few of us ask ourselves why this is? Have you ever thought about it being a sign? Perhaps, there was a time in our existence when we were happy and we were living in peace? I’m here to raise that question just like I am here to answer it.”_

_Seek! Seek me, and you shall find. Seek!”_

He planned on revealing his secrets as advances were made. Typical cult leader behavior. 

It was working for him as it had Khomeini. 

Bianca and Tuvia remained in touch via emails. She was the only one that took the time to write them other than his parents. Everyone was used to him ignoring phone calls. They didn’t know it was because he honestly didn’t have the phone with him. 

Her emails were long and full of life. 

He was living but not really. 

He was isolated. 

He came back to Poland as himself and met up with a client. He was a reserved man who purchased anything Tuvia made. He’d dyed his hair back. He had to come up with something else. This was going to be a problem and his hair might fall off. 

The man smiled, “I know you’re friends with friends of mine.” Tuvia leaned against the door post, “Oh?” He smiled and the man nodded, “Friends in Israel. I thank you for what you’re doing for my country. This is my home and my family was wiped out of it, leaving to head to Israel and the US. I returned to claim our property and stayed. I want to try and maintain a presence here. Thank you.” 

Tuvia was uncomfortable with praise. He just wanted to be alone and work in his shop. 

The man started to cry. 

Tuvia needed to leave. 

“I’ll never tell a soul.” 

Tuvia believed him. 

When he returned to his cabin, she was there. 

“Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be modeling?” 

She raised an eyebrow, “I was in Krakow and Warsaw working. I had a date.” He started to sort his mail, “And?” She walked past him, “It wasn’t a fun time. Your dusty cabin appealed much more.” 

He looked around his house, “What’s different?” 

She was cooking, “It’s clean! How can you be a Smith and not keep a spotless house?” Tuvia entered the kitchen, “Smiths live with Ackermanns. I’m used to it being an unattainable level of clean.” She turned her nose up, “There was dust everywhere.” 

He leaned against opening and looked at her while she finished dinner. Her hips were hugged by the fabric of her dress, stretching to show her curves off. She was gorgeous. 

They ate and she talked endlessly about the beautiful Milan with it's life and amenities. 

She was living in an entirely different world than him. 

She asked what he needed to do tomorrow and he snorted, “Farm. I’ve got fields to tend to and I’ve got crops that need to be harvested.” She stared at him, “What?” He nodded, “I’ve got a lot of land here and I let some neighbors have the excess crops if they help me tend and harvest them. They sell all of their crops because they can rely on my crops for their winter preserves.” 

She leaned back in her chair, “That's a great deal for them. Their profits are 100 percent.” He shrugged, “One day, I'll close it all down and just live here farming and woodworking. It keeps the farm in working order till then.” 

She looked less than convinced. He snorted, “It's basically Tzedakah. (Charity)” She rolled her eyes, “Just tithe.” He snorted, “Such a goyishe thing to say.” She and Cesare were similar, “Because I am a goy! Tzedakah sounds ridiculously complicated. Just tithe and it will work out.” 

She pulled out vodka he kept in his room, “Did you go in my room?” 

She nodded, “When you were away, some men came. I knew you kept a gun under the bed. I thought it was like my old one.” He was shocked, “Who came?” 

“I don’t know. Men and they were sneaking around.” 

“What did you do?” 

“I shot in the air. They left.” 

“You shot a gun?” 

“Of course.” 

“How do you even know how to shoot? Jean and Marco didn’t let y’all go to the range with us.” 

She smirked, “Nonni.” 

Tuvia’s smile stretched wide, “Nonni is a bad ass.” 

She poured them drinks, “Nonni didn’t want us to forget that the blood of the mafia runs in us.” 

They drank on into the night, talking and laughing. 

He was drunk, sinking deeper into his seat on the couch. She sat down next to him, “If they come….” 

She turned her head to look at him, “Will you be able to handle it?” 

He closed his eyes, sighing, “Are you worried?” 

He opened his eyes to look at her, “Yeah. There were a lot of them and this cabin could easily burn.” 

She smirked a little but he didn’t speak. 

She worried she’d made him angry. 

Their eyes locked and she moved in his lap where she straddled him and kissed him passionately. 

His hands went to cup the cheeks of her bottom before sliding up her back and around her waist. He picked her up and carried her to his room, laying her on the bed before stripping her. They were combusting, burning brightly. It was hot and primitive the way he fucked her. She made all manner of noises that professed her rapture. 

When they were finished, she felt him pull her into his arms and they slept like that until morning. 

* 

He couldn’t have Bianca the way she wanted him to have her. It was too dangerous. He knew someone would eventually figure things out and if she was attached to him, they’d come right after her. But, in his cabin, he could give in just a bit to fuck her, kiss her, and be kind to her. 

In the village she was his sister and nothing more. 

That way, people would leave her alone and she could move around freely without many older men going after her. 

She hated it. 

“Why lie?” 

He was working in his shop, “Because, they’ll harass you.” 

She frowned, “Why are you like this? Hot and cold? Do you not care for me?” 

He stopped chopping the wood he was going to use as raw decoration, “Why are we talking about this?” She cocked her head to the side, “Because, Alexi…..” 

“If you want to go after Alexi he’ll accept you with open arms. I vowed to never marry. I vowed to never take a partner. Alexi did no such thing.” 

She bristled, “Ever since we were children you’ve….” She searched for her words and he turned on the radio, “Let me finish my work and then we’ll go out. I don’t want to fight.” 

Bianca left and he finished his work. 

* 

* 

* 

Cezary was sending his messages when his phone rang, “Come to the square.” He got up, put on a coat, and headed out. As he entered the square more men appeared and the crowd guided him to a hidden location. He was blindfolded and brought inside. 

When his eyes were uncovered, he was in a room full of men. But, he was consumed with the man in the center, “Welcome to a political existence. If you can tell me my name, you can join the inner ring. You have one month.” 

And just like that, his eyes were covered again. 

* 

* 

* 

The way Bianca tasted was just like he’d always imagined. He would pull her into him with real need. His lips would linger on her own for long moments as he savored her. She would twist in his arms and she would make soft noises in the back of her throat. 

He’d always found her to be beautiful and not what anyone would have expected. 

A born model, she worked from a young age. She always was business savvy and had invested in a few businesses as well as partnering with Lilly and her patterns. She helped book her brother when he did shows in Milan and she often had Sunday lunches with Marco’s family that worked for the Organization. 

He could use their help right now but he didn’t dare reach out. 

They had a routine. She went to work in Milan when he was in Argentina. She was never allowed to visit him. When he came back, she was there and would cook and clean. They’d talk about art, design, and other things that interested them. Then, they’d gamble, drink, party, and come back home where they had sex and spoke sweet things to each other. Sometimes, he felt like they were making love and he knew they were. 

But, then he’d have guilt overcome him that she’d become a target and used against him. They’d fight viciously and he’d tell her to leave. She’d go to Alexi or back to Milan. His brother would call him and complain. 

Yoni’s voice was on the phone right then, “You know, you’ve always looked at her and she’s looked at you. When we were growing up-” 

“Stop, Yonatan. I know where you’re going with this.” 

“When we were growing up, you’d get beside yourself that she wasn’t Jewish.” 

“I was a child!” 

“A child already planning on a future with someone! She’s from a fast paced world where beauty matters and she takes pity on you, a wanna be peon!” 

“What a way with words you have, Yoni.” 

“You know it’s true! She challenges you and always has. She would come to Dedka’s work and you two would sit with him for hours and play.” 

“You sound like you were an adult watching us.” 

“Is it because she’s not Jewish?” 

Tuvia saw the question as his out, “Yeah.” 

* 

He’d thought about it for a week and then sent the signal that he was ready to meet Ape again. When he was in the chair again, staring at the man he was supposed to get information on, he couldn’t help but feel cocky. It was a Smith curse. He had no idea that he was very much the spitting image of Zad. 

“It’s only been a week.” 

He nodded, “But, I’m sure.” 

Ape raised an eyebrow, “Oh?” 

Tuvia smiled, “Zeke.” 

* 

“What’s wrong with you, woman!” 

She recoiled, “What’s wrong with me?! Why were you not home?!” 

He was livid, “I said no visiting me in Argentina! I’m rarely there and working constantly for those private clients. They are my livelihood and they keep me toiling away for hours!” 

“I had a job! Tuvia! What is wrong with you?! This is more than me just stopping by for dinner! What are you hiding!?” 

He slammed his keys against the wall, “Get out!” 

She dug her heels into the floor, “No!” 

He screamed, “GET OUT!” 

She started to cry and he felt horrible. 

He took her in his arms, “Don’t cry. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled.” She pushed him away, “Don’t touch me, redheaded brute!” He wouldn’t let go, “You don’t mean it, Bracha.” She squirmed, “Bracha! What is that, a curse!” He’d just felt it in the moment. Bianca was his blessing. 

“I’m sorry.” 

She looked at him. She was suspicious, “Why can’t I visit you? Why can’t you work on the pieces here? I just think it’s bad business, really. You have so many patrons here on the continent.” He held her in his arms carrying her to the bedroom, “I think you talk too much. What does Alexi think?” 

She fumed, “Leave him out of it.” 

“Okay, Bracha. I will. But, I really need you to shut up now.” 

He dropped her on the bed and she relented. 

* 

Zeke was grilling a lizard he’d caught. Cezary wasn’t impressed in the least with the dinner he was being offered, “Do you know of the man who leads the Wall?” Cezary nodded, “I do. One Eye.” Zeke nodded, ‘He’s looking for someone to take over as his second. I am that person. It’s just that, he’s got this other guy who I can tell he favors.” 

This was interesting, “What’s the pros and cons?” 

Zeke laughed, “Oh, well, that comes after you’ve been here for a while.” 

Cezary nodded, “Okay.” 

Zeke leaned back on his pack. They were camping and it had been over 120 degree fahrenheit. Zeke looked at him, “Are you familiar with the Smiths?” Cezary drank some water before replying, “Yeah, isn’t everyone?” He looked at the others in the camp site and hoped his cover had not been blown. The last public photograph of him was when he was very young. He prayed his dyed hair and contacts were saving him. 

“Zev Smith, what do you know of him?” 

He exhaled, “Well, he’s albino. I don’t know much of the children, to be honest.” Zeke sat up, “Yeah, no one does. Not even I have the access I should. I work for the Reiss and in partnership with the Wall. Yet, the Wall never sends info on the Ackermanns and Smiths. I have a proposition for you.” 

Cezary swallowed the knot in his throat, “Yes?” 

“Find out who his second is and why he’s protecting them. Go to Denmark.” He wrote some information on a piece of paper, “Here are the dates and places I know One Eye will be. I want you to tap his phone and listen to his conversation. An apartment will be set up. Many of these conversations will be me. I need him to see reason and choose me. It’s how our revolution will be made a success. Brother, the world rests on your shoulders.” 

* 

Bianca pushed the issue, “I want to go with you.” He was repairing her car. She’d had stones thrown at her using the bike and he’d gotten the car because it was sturdy. “You’ll stay here and do whatever it is you do.” She kicked his tools away, “You say mean things to me, you know? Dedka wouldn’t like that.” 

He said mean things so that she’d leave him. 

Bianca never understood why he was this way. He’d been a fierce loner his entire life and he took pleasure in working with his hands. She’d heard he was great when the family was leading their military attaches. He was a leader, respected, a critical thinker, logical, and he could really impress someone with his humor if he felt like it. 

When they went out, he drank and danced. He wasn’t unlikeable and had a lot of women come around as they grew up. She’d hated them and hoped he’d drop them and see what was in front of him. 

Bianca had always liked Tuvia more than friends. 

Their favorite thing to do together was ride horses. Dedka would take them riding and so would her papa. They’d not ridden in a long time together and the farm had no horses. She wondered why. 

“Bracha, I got something for you that’s coming tomorrow so I guess you should stick around a little longer.” 

“Stop calling me Bracha. That’s not my name.” 

“You should stop nagging me.” 

“It’s not nagging. I’m demanding the respect I deserve.” 

“What’s for dinner?” 

“Nothing. I’m not your maid.” 

“Then, let’s go out.” 

He went back to working on the jeep and she squatted next to him, “Tuvia?” He looked at her, “Yeah?” 

She turned on her feet a little moving the gravel, “Are you in love with me yet?” 

He turned his face back to the jeep, “I’m not dumb enough to fall in love with you. Look at Alexi. He pines away for you to settle down and commit yourself to him.” 

“Maybe I will.” 

Tuvia put the tool in his hand down, “Bracha, you want a committed relationship on your terms. You want to come and go and work in Milan and eventually have someone live with you there where you have a perfectly affluential life.” She snorted, “Is that really so bad?” He shook his head and moved out from under the car. 

“No,” he began, “because it’s what you want. I want what I want but I make it clear. Alexi is the star of his life and he'd want you to settle in Russia and support him at his games.” 

She bit her lips a bit, “You know….I’m not really that into those things all too much. I mean, the older I get…” 

He leaned against the jeep, “What? You’re ready to do catalogue modeling?” 

She laughed, “I wouldn’t be opposed to making my own skin care company. We could do make up later but I’d really like to focus on healthy skin and healthy bodies for all. Lilly and I were trying to think up a partnership. I asked Dedka if he’d help me connect with people on a pharmacology side of it all. He said he would and we’ve actually got some stuff going on the down low. Would you like to be a test subject?” 

He kissed her, “What if we stayed in?” 

She wrapped her arms around his neck, “What if you answer my question?” 

He groaned, “If Dedka okayed it then maybe.” 

She kissed him, “I’ll cook. You’ll shower.” 

He smirked, “Why? I smell fine.” 

She popped his arm, “You smell like wildfire.” 

He shrugged, “I’ll smell like you in a little bit.” 

* 

Cezary went up to the house and paused. He wondered if One Eye really lived in such a normal place. He was old, in his sixties. But, his health was impeccable. A second would be able to learn from him for years to perfect his terrorist organization. He entered the house and focused on the job. 

One Eye’s office was so tidy. He had no security. It was like he believed he was untouchable. Maybe he was in a sense. The house belonged to someone else. 

He tapped the phone and saw his name on the table. He’d remembered it vaguely as one of his first pieces. In fact, as he strolled through the rest of the house, his pieces were everywhere. He remembered One Eye from that thanksgiving. He’d been handsome but his presence had made his stomach churn and turnover painfully. Nikko had acted so out of character that it was one of Tuvia’s most prominent memories. 

Now, he questioned everything. Why would this man who wanted to kill their family keep pieces made by them in his home? He didn’t have time to ponder and left. 

He felt his other phone vibrate, “Bracha.” 

She sighed, “They came last night.” 

He gripped the phone, passing a few people on the sidewalk on their way to work and school, “Get out of the cabin. Go somewhere. Milan or Alexi.” 

He heard shuffling, “I like it here.” 

He snorted, “Liar.” 

She sounded very offended, “I do!” 

He didn’t have time to think about it, “Go to Alexi!” 

He hung up and made his way to his hotel. 

* 

* 

* 

**_These occur over three years while Tuvia is embedded in Denmark and Iraq. During this time, people continue to appear at the cabin. Bianca travels and returns to the cabin to be with him and they begin living two lives. In private, they are together in a comfortable relationship. In public, he distances himself from her and often, they fight because of this._ **

**_She becomes aware that he isn’t going to Argentina anymore and suspects he has a girl in another country. Alexi courts her and she leaves Tuvia to be with him frequently when they’re fighting is at it’s highest. She reaches her breaking point after Gisela’s engagement. She asks why he won’t marry her and he scoffs at the idea. He tells her it’s because she isn’t Jewish._ **

**_She leaves but returns a few weeks later._ **

**_She has no idea that Ape is now coming to Poland and he must be even more aware of his double life. He is at the center of all important information._**

_A taped conversation._

“Do you remember me? I think you do. That girl, are you with her?” 

“Which one?” 

“The beautiful one with the green eyes and platinum blonde hair. I almost thought she belonged to your father and not the other. She was such a beautiful and smart little girl. I saw how you loved her purely, as only children can.” 

“No...no I destroyed that.” 

“Ah,” he sighed, “as we men normally do. Tell me, why is it that your picture is on my desk and so is her’s?” 

“Why is she on your desk?” 

“So, you don’t know? Well, I’ll have to look more into it.” 

“I think I know why I’m on there.” 

“Have you found new friends? I’ve found you new friends.” 

“You must not like them.” 

“I think you can come to that conclusion on your own...Zev, take care of your wife and her child.” 

_Tuvia’s breath died in his lungs. He felt like he was choking. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing._

* 

* 

* 

_Another taped message_

“Hello?” 

“She’s all over my desk. I wonder how long this can last.” 

“Leave her alone.” 

“I won’t do that. If I did that then she could be in real danger. I’ll just keep trying to figure out why our Reiss friends want her so badly.” 

“Please, I’ll do anything just don’t let her get hurt.” 

“Is your wife involved?” 

“No. She’s not. Just her brother.” 

“Between you and me, he’s trying to play Armin’s game but poorly. You be sure….encourage him to continue, you know? And how about you consider something.” 

“What?” 

“Join me.” 

“What?” 

“Join me and become my second.” 

“I….I…” 

“Think about it.” 

_Tuvia destroyed the tapes. But, he couldn’t destroy what he’d heard or what it all meant._

* 

_An important message_

“Hello?” 

“Constantine? This is Krista.” 

“Oh, hello Historia.” 

“Listen, we’re compiling a list of all of our loyal subjects. We know that they’re figuring things out and we need to stay at least three steps ahead.” 

“The Ackermanns and Smiths are a little more resourceful than you think. They broke into Uri’s compound, killed everyone, made a mess for Ymir and she was demoted because of it. They have prevented your viruses from killing off all non-Reiss and even have defeated the subsequent mutations of the virus. 

They have their children fighting to whittle down the brothers of Jeeter, sons of Uri. They’re so close to doing it, I think we’ll receive news any day that they’ve succeeded. If I were you, I’d be thinking of ten steps ahead of them. Because, sweetheart, three isn’t enough.” 

“We have the Wall and the Soldiers. I want Annie Leonhart found.” 

“She’s dead. Her body was in the ice. You know this.” 

“I know I never saw a good picture of her face.” 

“I think that the ghettos that the American’s have made in their country are interesting. What is it like in Mayor Smith’s?” 

“We’re only here because we can watch them.” 

“What do you learn?” 

“That someone is obviously protecting them. Sebastian wasn’t able to figure out who but he’s close. He’s actually become really infatuated with Gisela and I think we’ll have to keep her in one piece in Arkansas.” 

“You were not?” 

“No…...she can’t be allowed to live. It’s hard deciding what to do with her and the others we plan to take.” 

“Who are the others? I don’t have a list of any to be left alive.” 

“That’s part of my call. We want to keep Gisela and Aviva for sure. Preferably Aviva because she’s the White King’s daughter and through her we can finally round up the tribes and destroy them once we’ve taken the world over.” 

“Ha! It sounds so ridiculous when you say it like that. It’s like it’s a movie.” 

“We’re trying to consolidate our people into safety, just like in the original life. Listen, I never asked, how are the Soldiers?” 

“They’re fine. Armored and Colossal are leading. Female Titan is dead and remains dead. No one has taken her place yet. There is the occasional….disruption.” 

“Well, they went from working for the Marely to serving the Eldian. What happens to the defectors?” 

“There is Ape.” 

“What’s he like?” 

“He’s the leader of the brigade where all troubled Soldiers go. They go to Hel and-” 

“Hell?” 

“Hel with one L. Like in the time of Odin.” 

“Oh, and he what?” 

“Rehabilitates them with various means of persuasion and turns them from distrusting questioners to loyal Reiss subjects. Many have taken Eldian rights from your priests...well, they did.” 

“The Sons of Uri outside the states are no more. Jeeter and his brothers are now all dead thinks to Eren, Levi, Armin, and Erwin’s children. We’ve been feeling their absence acutely. Ymir wants to know if you’ve found out anything about her daughter?’ 

“Dead.” 

“Dead!? No! I don’t believe it!” 

“Dead and burned in the funeral pyres of Europe.” 

“Who killed her!?” 

“Nikko Ackermann.” 

“I’ll be sure to make him suffer.” 

“Do you even care about your children?” 

_Long prevalent silence_

“Our children were better off with parents like us than we were.” 

“Ymir is an orphan, true. But, you had a source of love and stability with the couple you lived with. That’s better than what she had.” 

“Not really. My mother and father abandoned me.” 

“No, Historia...you really did have such an amazing opportunity but you chose not to take it. Beverly and William loved you and gave you routine, support, and chances to become anything other than what your father wanted you to be. You literally had the parents you _needed_ , just not the ones you _wanted_. In truth, they were beneath you, right? They weren’t Reiss or any one from the original life and that was a disgrace. You believed a queen should have been kept by better people.” 

“Maybe you’re right. I do look down on those not important. I didn’t want them and I put a wall between us because at the end of the day I am going to be the ruler of it all. I’m going to eat Eren Jaeger and I’m going to make it all go the way _I want_. If my father calls, you take the call and record it for me. You best pick the right side of this and it’s mine.” 

“Are you going to kill him?” 

“Yes. Yes, I am. My son will do his duty and I will have the world completely, irrevocably, under our control within in a decade. You tell me where Gisela is and make sure you keep me briefed about all of her movements. My son wants her and he’ll have her. I need her to go with him.” 

“Why is Sebastian so special?” 

_Another tense silence_

“Oh, Historia...So, Reiner has the other half of the coordinate? That makes sense. But, how?” 

‘In the original life, he fought Eren and killed him. He drank his spinal fluid or ate him, whichever, in his dying breath. It’s the missing piece.” 

“Wait, what does that mean in relation to Eren?” 

“Eren was given the other half after it was stolen from my half sister by his father using the serums. He’s managed to give half of that to Armin, maybe to save him, and therefore, they each have a quarter but we have a half and once we kill Armin his quarter returns to Eren or his kin just like how all titans return to the original titan.” 

“Historia, you’re talking over my head now. Fine, I’ll do what I can to keep Eren and Gisela alive as well as Aviva. Now, I get why you had a son with a man you don’t love.” 

“I love Ymir. I had a son with Ymir.” 

“You can follow your convictions without being a heartless piece of shit, you know? There was a moment in the original life I heard that you were on the side of Levi and Erwin.” 

“That was before I woke up.” 

“What made that happen?” 

“When I realized that Eren could eat me and take my birthright and those people outside of the walls wanted me dead. How dare they? I was a queen. I am a queen. I can make the world a better place but they scorned me and their filthy children litter the earth while ours dwindle. But, nothing was worse than seeing the Ackermanns remain like a resilient weed. The Jews and other minorities kept falling out of the fold.” 

_She paused, her voice full of deadly vengeance,_

“Levi said his people would number more than the stars. I’m here to snuff each one of them out. My people will fill sky with endless night.” 

* 

* 

* 

Tuvia came home late at night. Poland never felt so good beneath the soles of his feet. He smelled her perfume and went to her room. She was sleeping under the covers, her hair loose around her and shining in the dim light from the moon. 

He slowly uncovered her in the bed to look upon her fully. 

Her chest rose and fell rhythmically. 

There was a moment where he felt to overwhelmed. He went to his room and cried. 

In the morning he felt her hand on his back, “I made breakfast. Let’s ride.” 

He’d gotten two horses for the farm. She’d been focusing on her dermatology line intently and had been working from the cabin more and more. In Milan, she gave up her apartment. He’d gone with her to help her move and they’d eaten with Marco’s relatives. They had found him to be unorthodox but likeable. 

He wasn’t as charming as Erwin but he did have charm. 

There was also some running joke about shoelaces he didn’t get but Bianca did. 

While they had been there, she’d broached the subject of becoming committed. He’d shot her down harshly while swallowing the lump in his throat. He’d seen his sister’s pictures in One Eye’s home and heard how she was talked about. If someone spoke of Bianca like that...he’d kill them. 

Now, they were riding across his farm. He pushed the thoughts out of his mind and enjoyed the way she rode and the memories he had of their childhood. He’d had an amazing childhood. 

But, then they heard screaming over the hills and into the valley. They rode over to inspect it and saw a displaced persons camp site where the refugees from the plague were being tormented and abused. She watched with him for a long time. They were frozen in place. It was supposed to be a depot where they could stay and be treated medically till they were resettled in their home country. 

This was common now. 

If a place was hit badly, people would flee to these camps to be away from the pain and disease. While at the camps, they received all they needed and medical attention, namely a vaccine that was to be ordered or created so that they could become immune to this new strand. This was unacceptable by any standards. 

Bianca went off in a flash down the hill and into the valley. 

When he caught up, she was off the horse and yelling for who was in charge. There was such a hostility in the air and a threat of violence. The smells of human waste and living were abundant. She was running around, trying to help women and children up from the ground. She looked heated like her papa. 

“Who is in charge?!” 

A man appeared. Just before Tuvia could reach her, the man slapped her harshly across the face. He pulled out his gun and shot at her. She barely moved out of the way and Tuvia raced forward to slam him against the wall and elbow him in the face. The struggle was intense. 

She got the gun and shot in the air. 

The camp went still. 

Tuvia saw his opportunity and knocked the man on the ground on his stomach. He reached down, pulled his leg back and up, and twisted it breaking it and his hip. 

Another man appeared, “Who are you?! What have you done?!” 

Tuvia wiped his face, “My name is Tuvia Smith. Are you in charge?” 

“Yes! This is outrageous! You have no jurisdiction here!” 

“I do.” Bianca leveled with him cooly, “I am a PRO (Plague Relief Organization) representative. You’re being shut down and you’re going to jail for human rights violations.” 

She removed an ID card from her wallet and he stood flabbergasted. She made a phone call to the PRO leadership while local police were called. 

Except, they never came. 

It seemed the xenophobic nature of the Poles in the country had affected even the police. Luckily, the PRO team came with their own support from the police in the city. He tended to the horses and watched as she went around from person to person taking statements. She started cleaning up and cooking. The next time he saw her, she had a child on her hip and a ladle in her hand. 

He went to work on fixing the cabins they were in. 

The camps were known for having very good amenities and for being good places to reside in temporarily. This was a stain on the face of the organization and more of a cliche for any type of emergency housing. Levi and Hanji had discussed FEMA trailers as something they could send and allow individual families autonomy. Unfortunately, other government were resistant and these cabins were permanent structures that could be renovated and withstand storms better. 

It was past midnight when they mounted their horses again and rode back to the cabin. There was an eerie silence to it all. He put the horses up with her and then took her hand, “Stop. Let me lead.” She nodded and they walked on. 

Inside of the house he saw pictures of Bianca posted to the walls. He ripped them off in a hurry. He found a note: 

_Get out, kike lover!_

She merely calmly removed the photos, checked the locks, found the broken window they came in through, and ran the water for a shower. While she got the towels from the dryer, he stared at the note. 

_**Kike** _

That word stung worse than Jew. 

It was clear that he had to keep Bianca an arms length and more away from him. 

He waited till she got out of the shower, ‘You have to go.’ 

She gave him a defiant look, “No.” 

He pushed, “Yes, leave.” 

“Why?!” 

“Because, they’ve made it clear that you’re not safe because of your association with me!” 

She scoffed and rolled her eyes, “How did you get that?” 

He threw the note down, “Kike lover! They obviously aren’t buying the sister act anymore and they’re going to hurt you.” 

“Why hurt me? I’m not Jewish.” 

“Exactly, you’re not and what you’ve done in their eyes is betray your race and people to sleep with the filthy yid! Have you forgotten where you are, my WASP princess? Poland is extremely antisemitic and the current nationalist government is almost all Reiss.” 

She brushed him off, “Ridiculous.” 

He moved to take her hand, “Get out! If they hurt you I’ll never hear the end of it from your parents!” 

She seemed scorned, ‘Oh! So, that’s what’s important?!” 

“Shut up, Bracha! Don’t start something like that!” 

“I think it’s ridiculous! Why does it have to be about being Jewish?!” 

“I don’t make the rules, Bracha! You think I like living my life constantly and inconveniently being reminded that I’m Jewish by fuckers who are mentally ill? Antisemitism is a malaise of the mind, a sickness! I’m telling you that for your own safety and your own wellbeing and to safeguard myself that you need to leave and let us be finished with the whole deal.” 

“If I was Jewish, would you tell me to leave?” 

He paused, “What? Are you even listening to me right now?” 

“You won’t date me because I’m Jewish.” 

“I don’t date anyone.” 

“Would you ever marry someone that wasn’t Jewish?” 

He answered truthfully, ‘No. I don’t intend to marry someone and definitely if they’re not Jewish.” 

She seemed shaken and then went to her room. Before closing the door she spoke, “I’ll leave in the morning.” 

The door shut and he sat down on the couch to begin drinking. 

By the time she woke up, he was drunk and reaching for her. She took a glass of water and threw it on him, “You tell me to leave, then reach for me? Fuck off.” 

He stood up and grabbed her pulling her against him. His breath was hot and smelled like alcohol. He nuzzled his face into her neck and pushed her on the floor where he covered her and she opened herself up to him. 

* 

* 

* 

“These tapes are great.” Zeke smiled, holding them up for him to see. Tuvia was so tired of this game. Over five years of his life had been embedding deeply into their world. He’d come to command Soldiers himself and now Zeke was formulating his final plans. 

“Cezary, do you think humans can handle democracy?” 

“I think humans can handle anything and nothing at the same time.” 

“I knew you’d say something like that. Well, I don’t. I think that there has to be an upper class and lower class. There has to be a way that society works that lets people have a clearly defined role and place in it. That’s what we’re going to do for everyone when we take the power.” 

“Take the power?” 

“Take the power back from the Reiss.” 

Tuvia’s skin prickled, “How?” 

“Don’t worry about how, yet. Just know that Historia will not be on throne once the new world order is created. She’s not made a good impression and there are others that can take her place. Her warnings about her father are unfounded. He’s done just fine.” 

“I feel the same.” 

“I have a personal question.” 

“Yes?” 

“Have you got a wife yet? You’re young and handsome.” 

Tuvia scoffed, “No.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry. A husband or? I know you’re religious but things like that don’t matter to me. Men with men and such.” 

‘No, I’m just not looking to ever marry.” 

“Ooooh a bachelor for life? That’s a shame. At least have a child with a pretty girl. We take all children of the current Soldiers into the organization and rear them in it. You’d see it often and it’d be protected or live in the boarding school we have if you can’t take it in yourself.” 

“I’ll think about it. What about you?” 

Zeke’s expression was a mix of nostalgia and sadness, “I have loved only one woman and I will only ever love her. We have a daughter but, I’ve never met her due to the nature of my work. Her mother wishes for her to have a very normal life and I don’t agree. She’s hid her from me. I don’t mind. It’s her business. I can find them if I need to. I love them both so much that I respect her mother’s choices. One day, I hope she’ll come to me.” 

Cezary smiled, “Does she love you?” 

Zeke nodded, “Yes. It’s a blessing to be loved.” 

Tuvia’s heart clenched, “Yes, it is.” 

* 

There was something about Zeke that reminded him of someone. Maybe it was a mix between Yoni, Nikko, and Ezra. He was likable but very serious and liked the little things in life. One day when Tuvia was working in his office with him a file was dropped off. 

He opened it and read it carefully. 

A few minutes later he called One Eye and dismissed him. 

What he didn’t know was that Tuvia was still recording. 

“Eren Jaeger is my father’s vessel? He’s who I need to take the power from? Is that all?” 

“I’m not sure, Zeke. But, it does seem that you are related and that fits the narrative of what we all know. They, Historia and Ymir, don’t know that you’re his son.” 

“I need them to not know. I also would like everything you have on Eren Jaeger.” 

“I’ll start compiling soon.” 

“You better.” 

Tuvia compiled the entire conversation from beginning to end. His hand shook the entire time. 

When he was able to return to Poland, it was to meet with clients and others in the inner circle of the government. He was like Lore and Mikasa: artists in demand by the elite. He was tired, so very tired. 

He’d told her to leave. He’d told her he’d never marry her. He told her he didn’t love her. He’d told her everything to make her leave. 

But, now he regretted it. 

Because, Bracha was gone and his home empty and cold. 

* 

“Do you love me?” Alexi’s voice was soft. He was covered in sweat from practice. 

She frowned, “No.” 

He frowned but then a pleasant expression came over his features just like his tattie’s, “Why not?” 

“Because,” she swallowed, “that would just make sense. I mean…” 

“You love Tuvia.” 

“Yes...but he doesn’t love me.” 

“Oh,” it was so soft, “I’m sorry. You’re something really special.” 

She wanted to cry, ‘It would be so easy to love you. It would really just work, you know?” 

He nodded, “What’s the biggest thing preventing you two….?” 

“Well, he won’t marry me or date me or anything because I’m not Jewish. That’s why it would be so easy with you. You’re Catholic, too.” 

Alexi recoiled. His brow furrowed, “Bianca.” He said her name in a way he rarely said anything: cross. 

“Bianca, I’m not Catholic and even if I was it wouldn’t be Roman. How do you see me?” 

She felt awkward. Even though she’d grown up familiar with Jewish customs and holidays, she’d been relatively isolated from it’s theology and never really paid much attention to her relatives beliefs. She thought Jews were just like everyone else. 

“I see you as a….Christian.” 

“Why?” 

He seemed genuinely interested and not cross anymore. 

She struggled for the words, “Have I said something wrong?” 

“Tell me about the fight when this happened.” 

She explained the note and their conversation. He seemed to think about it, “Okay, so you don’t see me as Jewish. Because my father is Christian and I wasn’t raised as Jewishly religious as Nikko and them. I’m not a Jew to you. You are upset that I’m who you could be with because I obviously would marry a non-Jew no problem.” 

She felt like what he was saying sounded bad and she felt very conflicted and uncomfortable. He leaned back in his chair and sighed, “Bianca, I’m not going to lie, I’m hurt. Listen, I’m Jewish. That’s my identity. I’m not that religious because it would hurt my papa but Christianity isn’t bad. I like it in a lot of ways. But, I haven’t sorted it all out myself.” 

I’m Jewish, Bianca. I’m Jewish whether I want to be or not. Everytime I think I’m nothing, nothing at all, someone reminds me I am. My teammates make comments. I’m called kike at least once a week. I don’t wear anything that identifies me as Jewish but still, word got out and now I’m pegged. Even my teammates treat me differently sometimes. What Tuvia was saying is that he can’t in good consciousness put you in danger because of what he is. He cannot change what he is but you need not carry this burden.” 

Things have never been easy for any of us. Your parents did a great job, just like mine, of teaching us to see each other as a family and as equals. But, because you’ve never walked in our shoes, you can’t relate to the struggles of being in it. Now, if you ever did become Jewish, you’d start to experience these issues too. You’d have support. That’s not the path you’ve chosen so he still can’t take you with him into the fire. I’m also not your back up and my identity is more complex than what you think.” 

Tuvia’s parents are both Jewish. They have agreed on everything they wanted to teach their children and they really follow the Ackermanns so their sense of self as a Jew is different from mine. They don’t feel like choosing to be Jewish religiously is betraying a parent. That’s a whole new level of guilt. Imagine how Cesare feels. He really has to deal with a lot and now I’d ask you think about if you were in his position.” 

She felt thoroughly ashamed of herself, “I hadn’t ever given it that much thought. I’m sorry. I can see where I came off really insensitive. I enjoyed our relationship, really. I had genuine feelings.” He nodded, “I know you did. I also knew that Tuvia has had your attention since you were children.” 

Alexi stood, “I have work to attend to.” 

They parted ways and he walked down the street that had the greying wood sign that indicated a bookstore. He entered, picked up his weekly package, and went out the back and down the stairs where a door opened in the floor and he descended. 

Underneath the bookstore, a network of small tunnels leading to smaller rooms housed the underground made of the younger generation of iron men and women who had sought education and modernization in their attempt to live in a new world. The tastes of freedom was on their lips. 

“Leah (Alexi)? Are you here? Good! Our fearless leader has returned.” 

* 

* 

* 

“Bracha?” He kissed her shoulder, “You taste like sugar.” She closed her eyes and let him press her against the elevator wall. He moved his lips up to kiss her and she opened her mouth and legs to him. She loved him and if this was how it had to be then it was just how it had to be. 

They were meeting with Zad and this was how they’d kill time. 

Once in his office, he laid it out, “Your skin care line is doing well privately. We’re putting it in stores. I’m excited for this venture. I’ve called you both here for separate yet similar reasons.” 

They looked at each other and then at him, “Yes?” 

Zad pulled out some contracts, “When I pass, my company is going to be passed on to family. I have started a smaller daughter company that I want to leave to Bracha and Lilly.” 

“Please don’t call me that. It encourages him.” 

“Bracha, hush. Lilly and you will head the daughter company and I want it that way. I want it to be a woman run company. There aren’t that many women in the family and that’s a shame. This company is going to Tuvia. I want you to have this for when life gets a little slow and lonely. It’s been a great distraction and has really helped me. I’m giving shares and partnerships to Bellamy and Alexi. I want you to be the owner and main stockholder but they’re your partners and they’re important. If you can’t do it, it’s up to them. Don’t sell this company for quick money.” 

This life is important and you need to keep this as a safety net. Do you understand, gindele?” Tuvia looked ill, “Dedka, I do but I don’t want to talk about you dying ever.” She nodded, ‘Yes, let’s sign or whatever and not talk about this. Write us a smart assy letter.” Bianca felt the corner of her eyes fill with tears. 

Zad sighed, “Don’t cry. I don’t like weakness.” 

She nodded and took a tissue, “Don’t bring up ridiculous things like this and I won’t.” 

He stood up, “I’d say we could get the horses and ride but….Armin has forbidden me from riding.” Armin had found Zad after he’d fallen off the horse and hit his head. He’d screamed so loudly that Marco had ran out of his shower and out into the woods behind the house with a gun and a box of bandaids. Zad had found it hilarious but Armin had been really shaken. 

Since Hannes died, they all looked at Zad and noted the way he shook slightly and the weight-loss of advanced age. 

Tuvia stood, “Let’s play cards?” 

Zad shook his head, “No, let’s go eat some Russian food and then you two go ride. I’m going to try and get ahold of a grandchild to visit with.” 

He took Bianca’s hand, “You still don’t want kids?” 

She chewed her lip, “I might have changed. Maybe one isn’t so bad.” 

He laughed shortly, “Yeah, one isn’t bad. Have a girl. We don’t have enough girls.” 

She led him out, “Gotta find a man first.” 

He raised an eyebrow, ‘Throw a stone and you’ll hit five. Just pick one.” 

Tuvia bristled, “She shouldn’t have to do it alone.” 

Zad’s voice was still full and rich like it had always been, ‘Why not? Women can do more than men. She has us to help if she wants to do it alone. Aviva was going to do it alone.” 

Tuvia was defensive, “She would have had me. I’d have had her move in with me.” 

Zad snorted, ‘Oh, yeah. You’re fooling yourself there. She’d have done exactly what she wanted. Plus, Judah was always going to come around. Have you seen how great of a father he is to Gaia?” 

They continued talking as they decided how to spend the day together. 

* 

* 

* 

“I know something is going on, Tuvia.” 

He grit his teeth, “Why do you insist on staying?” 

She kissed his shoulder, “For better or worse, I love you.” 

He stood up, “Come on. I’ve got to go to town and meet a client.” 

She dressed and they rode to town with a piece in the back. She turned to him, “Why are you waiting? Just come with me to Maria and see Lore and the others.” 

He took her hand, “I’ve got business.” 

She pulled her hand away, “I’m not stupid. You’re going to help pull off a coup.” 

He pulled over on the side of the road in shock, ‘What?” 

“I speak with my brothers, idiot. This meeting is to see who the Reiss in charge are. Then, you’ll confirm their home addresses and find out where they’re staying to kill them in their sleep.” 

“Bracha, stop saying such things.” 

“Tuvia, I…..I worry about you.” 

He pulled back on the road, “Don’t worry about me.” 

“Tuvia, I love you. I’m sorry. I can’t not worry.” 

“Nothing is going to happen to me, Bracha. Don’t worry. I won’t go missing or some shit.” 

“That’s what I’m afraid of!” 

“I promise you! I promise I won’t just disappear.” 

When they got to the city, she crawled over into his lap and kissed him. 

When she pulled back he wiped a tear that rolled down her cheek, “I know you’ve got women around in other places but I swear to you that I don’t care as long as I can have some time with you and you always tell me the truth. Are you telling me the truth?” 

He looked into her eyes, “I’m telling you the truth.” 

“Honestly?” 

“Yeah, Bracha.” 

She moved out of his lap and out of the jeep. He walked her to her meeting and she seemed reluctant to leave, “I have a bad feeling.” 

He rolled his eyes, “Nothing is going to happen.” 

She went inside and he drove two more blocks over to the gallery with his piece. There was already a security personnel group waiting to check him before he met his clients. 

Inside of the marbled building, there was a plaque he walked by every time he came. It was to commemorate the Jews who lived their before. He’d had it added and many hated it. 

Oh well. 

He walked upstairs to his meeting, the doors open and chatter spilling out into the hallway. He smiled when he entered and shook hands. Tuvia was known for being likeable among everyone. He looked up across the table and saw a familiar face. 

_Zeke_

_His blood ran cold and the minutes passed slowly._

_Does he recognize me?_

There were refreshments for them after the pitch of the piece. A friend of his took orders and made commission. He felt a hand on his shoulder, “Mr. Smith?” Zeke’s face was bright and right there. He nodded, “Mr?” Zeke laughed, “Yeager.” 

Tuvia shook his hand, “Mr. Yeager, how are you?” 

“I’m well. I’ve been a fan from afar for a while but this is a dream come true. I just wanted to thank you for the private audience and ask if it would be okay to commision a custom piece from you?” 

‘Yes, what do you want?” 

“A throne. I’ve had an artist already do a sketch of the engravings.” 

“When would you want it?” 

“The end of this week.” 

“I don’t work on the Sabbath.” 

“The Jewish one?” 

“The one and only.” 

“So, eight days from now putting the allowance in for that.” 

“It’ll cost you.” 

“How is fifty thousand?” 

“Sounds good. Zolytes?” 

“American dollar.” 

“Even better.” 

“Do a shot with me to seal the deal?” 

“Sure. I need a drink.” 

“Oh, sounds like a woman.” 

“It is. A very worried and nervous woman. She has no reason for it.” 

“I’m familiar. But, it just means she cares and a caring woman is the only woman worth loving.” 

“I like that.” 

They did their shots and the reception lasted a bit longer before everyone cleared out. Zeke and Tuvia shook hands before leaving. 

Zeke sat in his car and in the moment found himself thinking about how much Tuvia reminded him of Cezary. He had actually missed him and knew he might be able to catch him in Poland on a layover. 

He pulled out his phone and watched as Tuvia shook hands with his assistant and started to load his car up. 

He pressed call and waited to hear Cazery’s voice. 

He saw Tuvia dig in his pocket and take a phone call. 

“Hello?” 

He saw Tuvia’s mouth move at the same time but he didn’t believe it. 

“Hello, Cazery! Are you in Poland on your layover? I’d love to eat with you somewhere.” 

“Oh, no. You missed me. I’m in Denmark.” 

“Oh….damn. I’ve got to admit, I miss you. I’ll catch you later, kay?” 

“Yeah, man. I’m sorry.” 

They hung up and Zeke felt the air leave his lungs. 

He’d been had. 

Five years and he’d been had. 

“Fuck!” 

* 

* 

* 

Tuvia kissed Tovi before handing him back to Lore, “I’ll be back, little guy.” Lore and Bianca both made over Tovi while Yoni smoked, “Brother, you take care. I don’t get it.” Tuvia smirked, “Everything’s fine. I just have to return a piece that’s taken longer than the time I was given.” 

He packed up and Bianca followed him to the door, “I have a bad feeling.” Tuvia took her arm and pulled her against him, “Bracha, hush. Just hush.” He kissed her and she started to cry, “I really have a bad feeling.” 

“Nothing, Bracha, is going to happen to me. I’m coming right back. I promise.” 

* 

* 

* 

The engravings were time consuming but he’d finished them. He looked at the piece, finally completed. He sat back and wiped his brow. It looked like a scene his parents had described in their books about the original life. His skin started to crawl. 

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, “Hello?” 

“Tuvia, it’s Mr. Yeager. Listen, I’ve been called away for work. My associate is going to pick up the piece shortly. I apologize.” 

When he got off the phone, his other phone rang, “Cezary?” 

“Yes?” 

“Listen, we’ve had a breakthrough. We’re going to invade Jordan and then Israel. We’ve secured passage through Syria and I have to jump on this.” 

“That’s amazing! When? I want to come and lead my group.” 

“We’re going to do it at midnight. Call up our contact in Frankfurt and he’ll arrange everything. I can’t wait to see you there, my brother. We’re going to move into the final stage tonight.” 

He hung up and Tuvia had to act fast, calling the man to make his arrangements. Once that was done, he transmitted his messages to Israel using his radio device. It was more reliable but old school. 

He was interrupted by loud knocking. The door came off it’s hinges. 

“Tuvia Smith, you’re under arrest for espionage.” 

They drug him away, beating him, and spitting on him. 

* 

When he woke up, it was endless torture and pushes for information. He looked at the faces of those he should have killed. The Reiss lovers and friends. It was embarrassing for them all. 

He’d infiltrated the two most powerful organizations in the world and had led a double life under their noses. He was their friend, their inspiration, and he had dirt. 

The shock waves felt in Iraq were huge. They pressured Poland to kill him soon so that he couldn’t do what Eli Cohen had done. They’d been unable to kill the upper elite so only whores and secretaries were hanged with Eli. That was his fate. He had secrets about their nuclear programs, their military bases, their relationship with Russia. He could help end them if he gave that information away. 

Poland was simply full of Reiss sympathizers. 

They wanted to hang a Smith more than anything. 

It was a symbol of loyalty. 

It would also make them look stronger than Russia since they were unable to fend off their coup. 

He was brought out to be shown off to the world. 

The cameras trained on his face. 

He felt his life coming to an end. 

When his lawyer was allowed to see him, he asked for a pen and paper. 

He wrote Bianca a note. 

“I’m going to die. Give this to her.” 

Henri wiped his glasses on his shirt, ‘We’re trying everything.” 

Tuvia snorted, “Nothing will be enough. I am going to die. Send my love to my family.” 

* 

* 

* 

Armin and Erwin were sedated and sitting in front of the screen. The whole world was watching the trial. Henri was a great lawyer but this wasn’t a court, this was a circus. The prosecution ate up all the time and the defense was challenged over every single thing. 

The pope spoke out for his release. 

Norway and Finland tried mediation. 

Russia offered asylum but with their war with the Asian countries still going on there was little headway. 

Thankfully, the invasion into Jordan and Israel had been evaded. 

Zad still had Russian citizenship and he left to sit with their counsel to see if a deal could be worked out. Keita released press statements and his contacts in the knesset spoke out publicly for Tuvia. 

Bianca went with him to the airport. She looked colorless and had been throwing up constantly. She started to weep as they waited. 

“My sweet Bianca?” 

“Yes?” 

“You love Tuvia.” 

“Of course!” 

“Tell me about it.” 

She explained their relationship and he frowned, “Oh, God. You and he are similar to Marilyn and me. Fuck…” 

She wiped her eyes, “I’m pregnant.” 

He laughed shortly, “Of course you are. My God, that’s the cherry on top.” 

He turned to her, ‘I love you, sweetheart.” 

She hugged him and kissed him. 

When he boarded the plane, she fainted. Gio came to get her and brought her back to the apartment, “May God be with us.” 

* 

* 

* 

Armin sat in Erwin’s lap. They were numb. Their son looked half dead and the verdict was only a few minutes away from being handed down. Lore was so beside herself she could barely feed her child. He was in the care of Lilly who couldn’t bear to listen any longer and walked with him up and down the hallway. 

Judah pressed his lips against Aviva’s neck as she, too, sat in his lap and held a sleeping Gaia. He was shaking with nerves and her entire body was sapped of energy. She closed her eyes, her throat strangled the words, “Judah….My _brother_.” Judah held her tighter. He couldn’t handle her being upset, not like this. He kept kissing her neck, his tears saturated her hair. 

Gisela had Zev’s head in her lap. He’d drank himself nearly to death. She stroked his hair, feeling the contours of his head and face. Levi cried the entire time. He cried and cried. David and Mikasa stared blankly while pressed against each other. Keita was slumped in his wheelchair and Jaffa covered him with a blanket. 

Annie and Zvi were with them all. 

Tomorrow they would meet with Reiner and Bertolt. 

Jaffa didn’t know what to do. 

She looked at Keita and watched as the tears flowed freely down his cheeks. He’d blamed himself. It’s all he spoke of when they were alone. Even the Prime Minister couldn’t help soothe his feelings. He’d done something last minute that ensured that Zad could go but he wouldn’t say what it was. He was barely hanging on by a thread and tomorrow they were going to use the last serum. 

Hanji and Oskar chose to stay at their apartment with Lylah while Nikko and Mila were with them in Erwin and Armin’s apartment. Nikko held his wife’s hand and davened insistently. Yoni was just standing against a wall while Maxim and Ilya smoked outside and listened with the door open. Alexi made coffee. 

Jean and Marco were with Hanji and Oskar and the others were there, too. It was heavy in their apartment. People gathered on the streets. The only reason the invasion was stopped was because the Prime Minister called up all soldiers and had the air force fly out. The show of preparedness along with the Jordanian King’s fear of a real invasion and show of mutual military might had kept the world order in check. The people of the country knew this and they knew now all the other times Tuvia’s information had saved them from unnecessary conflict. 

He had become a hero 

Keita’s role now exposed meant he, too, was a hero. 

Eren’s rage took him out looking for a fight. He sensed the hour was near and ran into the apartment. When he returned, Levi took him into his arms and they both sobbed. He hurriedly checked the cuts and bruises on Eren which amused Annie. They were still so in love. Zvi kissed the side of her head, “Analia.” She curled into him and closed her eyes. 

_We the jury find the defendant guilty on all counts. The sentencing is execution by firing squad, to be carried out immediately upon the conclusion of this hearing._

Armin and Erwin were silent until they saw the change in the screen and noted that their son was going to be brought out to stand against a stone wall. 

Armin fell to his knees moving towards the TV while Erwin’s mouth was slowly falling open in horror. There was a general escalation in the room by all inside. It was like they were in slow motion springing to action. 

Tuvia was brought out, a bag over his head and prison uniform on. He was brought to the center of the wall. 

The panic had become a frenzie. 

Aviva stood up, handing Judah Gaia. 

She staggered forward to Armin to clutch him. 

They heard the officer give the order to shoot. 

Tuvia’s chest was pierced and his body crumpled to the floor. 

The sounds that escaped those in the room were beyond description. Those who were watching on the street cried out in response. 

Tuvia Smith was dead. 

Bianca read the letter again. 

_I wish I had done right by you._


	186. Another Version of the Truth

Erwin stroked Armin’s back while the Prime Minister spoke to them in soothing words. 

“Tuvia Smith’s body is on it’s way. We released prisoners for it. Russia is now forcing sanctions against Poland and I’ve been asked to place Alexi Aristov-Nabatov at the embassy on our behalf. It would seem Alexi has been working in an underground world that is now desperately trying to one, keep Russia afloat, and two, reform it.” 

Armin was crying silently, his hands covered his mouth and stomach. Erwin couldn’t find the words to respond. She continued, “We have, as a country, lost many of our young men and women. Tuvia is no different. He managed to help us fend off six potential wars, defeat terror cells across the country and in the settlements, he provided aid to Kurdish activists while they attempted to secure their state, and he did more for us than one spy has ever done.” 

“He was a hero of peace. We never had him kill and to our knowledge, he took life only in self-defense. In his pieces, he smuggled money to those in need. Look at this one that was sent to Ethiopia after the plague nearly killed them all.” 

She opened a small wooden box and inside moved a false bottom to show another false bottom. She had to move the pieces just right to open it. Inside was a pocket that she told them was full of money to help them rebuild. That community flourished and was able to invest in technologies to combat further illness. They now took in plague refugees. 

“We never gave him that kind of money. He provided that. He found out through a man here, whose family had not made Aliyah yet, that their village was suffering. Tuvia Smith was a good person, a great Jew, and even greater philanthropist. He dedicated large sums to the PRO and even had schools that teach hard skills opened all over the country and others. Keita was also involved in this work and both sought no recognition for it. Keita almost lost his job over his secrecy.” 

She gave a sad but amused smirk at the last sentence. The Smith’s apartment was decorated beautifully. There were pictures everywhere of their family and extended family. These two had raised wonderfully strong children. Their children stated often they’d been inspired by them. 

But, she saw nothing here to be inspired by. 

Just two parents grieving. 

Two more people who would turn to hate her, curse her country, and give up the fight that seemed so close to being won. 

Erwin drew in a shaky breath, “We want to see him. We want to see him before we leave.” 

“Where are you going Mr. Smith?” 

Erwin kept stroking Armin’s back, “To the front.” 

“The front? You mean, the front where The Wall is?” 

“Yes, we’re going back to our country to fight. They’ve started to collect there and the people are now being rounded up and separated.” 

This was new intelligence, “Wait, I don’t know anything about this.” 

Armin’s voice was cold and hollow, “You will shortly. America will become an autocracy at midnight. All of the house and senate have been killed. The army has been split between Reiss and Reiss sympathizers and those against. As you can guess, those soldiers have been killed. People are being forcibly removed from the state Arkansas in order to create a Reiss only zone. We have been misled and distracted by the war.” 

This is why they were able to slowly secure power in order to do this. We only know these things because we’re in a ghetto and therefore, we have our own militia and economy. The ghettos have shut their doors in order to prevent becoming overwhelmed by displaced persons. All flights are cancelled but once again, we’re heading to ghetto. We have to hope we won’t be shot down over another airway but still.” 

President Reiss lost the election by a landslide but the electoral just pushed him over. He has been our president for now four terms. My children are sick of him, I’m sick of him, and I’m sick of my country crumbling. My son has given all he could to make the world a better place or at least just not as fucked up of a place. My family has sacrificed lifetimes to try and finish this ridiculous game.” 

You will aid Germany, France, Kurdistan, and other other countries against Reiss led governments in the fighting of WWIII. We know that once we kill the leaders of all of this, the followers will lay down their weapons. President Reiss will die for his crimes and the government will be restored.” 

The Prime Minister listened as Armin laid out their plans in further detail. She was amazed. She now saw exactly what inspired their children. 

“But, Mr. Smith and Mr. Smith, how will you restore the government if everyone is dead?” 

Armin snorted, “Actually, they did us a favor. What do you think we’ve been planning for in the ghettos of America? We’ve got a plan. We’d gladly take your support. Just know that no one from our family will be a part of that new government. We understand that the way we are linked to the Reiss family is problematic. Therefore, we’ll keep our hands out of it. Something the Reiss never did.” 

“My government will aid yours as you have done for us so many times before. Japan will also be there. They’re still in debt to the vaccine preferences they’ve been given.” 

Armin and Erwin asked to be alone and she understood, “Tomorrow, you’ll be picked up for the funeral. You will be brought to the school Tuvia helped build in Tel Aviv. It’s a long-ish ride but not too bad. We will have enough cars for all family.” 

She turned to leave and then paused, “And an ambulance for Keita.” 

Erwin pulled Armin into his arms. They were on the couch, the shadows growing longer and longer as the day went on. Shiva would be horrible. 

* 

* 

* 

Aviva threw up in the toilet, clutching the sides and heaving afterwards till she sagged and fell back on the rug in the bathroom. She groaned, her eyes burned and were swollen. She thought about Zev and how lifeless he’d been in Gisela’s arms. He wasn’t talking, eating, sleeping, or anything. No one really was. 

And then there was Keita. 

Levi had been called in the middle of the night. 

Keita was barely breathing while he slept. Jaffa had been awoken to the sound of gasping and raspy attempts at breathing. Keita couldn’t see anymore. He had heard the gasps and felt Jaffa clench. Tuvia’s death had broke his heart. He was fading now into nothing. He said vidui (a prayer when one is going to die) that night while Jaffa cried and cried. 

Levi and Eren came in their pajamas with their med kits. Hanji and Oskar were on their way. Gisela and Zev had fallen asleep on the couch of Keita’s apartment. They woke with a jolt hearing the commotion. 

“Neshama, one more injection is all he can take. It will be the last and if it’s wrong. He'll die” 

“Eren, stop stating the obvious.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“I have to chose the one I think will work.” 

He laid them out in front of him hearing the weak beeps of Keita’s pulse from the machine in his room. Mikasa and David stood against the wall like zombies. David davened (prayed) without end. Mikasa looked like she was already processing that her son was dead. 

Jaffa’s prayers were so loud it pained everyone to hear them. 

She was almost as frantic as Bianca had been. 

Hanji burst through the door followed by Oskar. 

She grabbed one of the vaccines, “This one! This is the one. Now, GO!” 

The power went off and a siren began to wail. Gisela went to close the protective shields on the windows with Judah, “Missile.” 

They needed to barricade in the bomb shelter. Other people in the building were already leaving their beds. 

A sudden shake caught them off guard and Levi dropped the vaccine among the others that now littered the floors after falling off the table. 

Levi had no idea what was what now, “FUCK!” 

Jaffa’s voice was raised and desperate, “Dr. Ackermann!” it’s pitch spoke to his heart and he grabbed the one he believed it to be. He ran into the room and checked for a pulse. 

He didn’t find one, “Oh no.” 

Jaffa lifted her head, face red and wet, “Please! It’s still there! Please!” 

He noticed her fingers on his wrist over his pulse. 

He trusted her. 

The vaccine was administered just after midnight. 

Now, they waited. 

Aviva had returned to her apartment after the injection. Judah was asleep with Gaia next to him. He’d begged her to stay 

Aviva woke up on the floor of the bathroom again. She felt so bad it was no wonder. Waiting was hard. She looked around and then dug in the cupboards. She sat on the toilet and sighed. 

No good would come from this day. 

Her heart ached for her brother. 

Her entire soul ached for him. 

_Tuvia_

She worried that dedka wouldn’t make it back in time but hopefully he was one of those escorting the body. 

She could hope. 

Judah woke slowly. He’d not heard her throw up in a while and he hoped she was feeling better. He felt hollow and depressed. Gaia’s sweet face made him feel better but she wasn’t a tool for them to use to ignore their feelings. He picked her up out of their bed and placed her in her nursery next door. He’d checked the clock and they had four hours till they absolutely needed to get ready. 

The door to the bathroom was still closed. 

He walked towards it but then away. 

She needed privacy. 

He laid down on the bed and closed his eyes. 

Maybe he’d call Zev? 

No, that’s not what he needed to do. 

Zev was beside himself. 

Gisela had spoke to him through the night through texts. 

He would try to get another hour of sleep. 

The door to the bathroom opened and Aviva moved the covers back to enter the bed. He opened his eyes and rolled over to take her in his arms. She pulled back in his embrace and looked at him. He thought that was strange but today was strange. A sibling was dead. This was something neither of them knew how to handle. 

She was sad but there was something else there. 

He searched her eyes for a sign. 

She took his arm and then his hand and placed it on her stomach. 

He was still confused but then she kissed him and pressed his hand harder against her stomach. 

Judah inhaled suddenly in understanding. 

He looked down at her stomach, “Aviva?” 

She kissed him again, “You’re going to be a father again.” 

He pulled her against him, covering her lips with his. 

Judah eventually moved down to leave kisses over his new child. 

She was emotional. 

He was, too. 

They didn’t speak for a long time. 

It was too much happy for such a sorrowful day. 

* 

* 

* 

Bianca didn’t speak as the limo pulled up. Jean held her against him. His little girl was listless, her legs weak, and for once her beauty seemed dull and not it’s normal radiance. Marco had scarcely stopped crying. He clutched his sons to him when he could. He couldn’t imagine losing one of them. 

Bellamy and Alexi had spoken with the Prime Minister about them both heading back to Russia but Lilly was beside herself with worry. She had a lot of sway with the boys. For once, Marco was glad someone was using their sway to keep people out of danger. 

Bianca asked where Zad was over and over. 

Jean kissed the side of her head, “He’s with him, baby girl. He’s going to be there.” She sobbed into his side, “Papa, I want dedka.” Jean understood. Somehow, Zad had become a grandfather to his children, too and a very, very influential one. Bianca had loved to crawl into his arms and listen to old stories while he worked on his company. 

He had taken her to her first horse show when Jean fell ill and he’d bought her her first horse after he asked Jean if it was okay. Jean respected Zadkiel and had grown to love him and rely on him for advice. 

Marco had used his ties to Russia to help strengthen his career as a reporter and writer. He’d developed impeccable language skills, understandings of the Soviet Union’s views on farmers and others they sent out into the Taiga, and he’d learned how to make stews from just about anything. Jean really like that development. 

Now, Cesare stood with them. 

Ezra held their son in his arms before passing him over to a babysitter provided by the government. Keita had known them and cleared them if there was ever a need for such. 

Keita had planned for many things. 

Like death. 

Well, not his own. 

Ezra kissed Cesare sweetly on the lips and wiped a stray tear from his husband’s eye, “I will be with my parents. If you need me, just make the signal and come hell or high water I’ll come to you. Okay?” 

Ezra looked so much like Eren now and his mannerisms were that of his baba’s when he was soft and docile with his aba. Cesare thought himself the luckiest man in the world. He was alive, his son was alive, and his husband was alive. 

They were living. 

Inside of the car, the Kirschstein-Bodts were quietly listening to the news that America was now under the control of the President, the house and senate were disbanded, the army had been purged, and all government buildings had been secured against civilians. There were of course riots, but they were bloody now. 

People outside of the ghettos had slowly become comfortable. 

Their guns made them feel safe but after a mass recall that landed replaced or refurbished arms back into their hands was their undoing. 

None of the guns functioned properly and there were issues with the ammunition. Their homegrown militias were useless. 

Levi had imported his ammunition for years from abroad. 

In fact, all ghettos did. They were stocked from the ground up. When Levi was asked why, he said he’d bought some bullets from a well known chain and found that they were littered with fakes or bullets that had fake tips. He also found that the quality of the guns avaliable was going downhill. 

Some of the kids thought it was just an excuse for Erwin to buy him nicer things. 

It was no secret that sometimes Levi liked to be spoiled by daddy war bucks. 

Now, America was broke into two: the ghettos and the wasteland. 

There had been a mandatory conscription four years ago that resulted in mass vaccinations. Erwin had prevented the ghettos from being called into it. They were suspicious of what was in the vaccines because no one was allowed to review it. 

Hanji had offered her seal of approval if they’d just let her look at it. 

Nothing had come of it except threatening letters from the Reiss Pharmaceutical Company. 

The CDC had been shut down and moved to Canada. 

They spoke out against the vaccine and that was enough for more requests to join the ghettos of America. 

“Can you turn it off?” Marco didn’t want to hear anymore. 

Bellamy and Gio were crying. 

Bellamy held his sister’s hand, “I love you.” 

Bianca nodded and kissed his hand, “You are too kind for this world, Bellamy.” 

Gio felt like he was suffocating, “I want to see his face.” 

Bellamy shifted, “It’s not the way, Giovanni. We don’t look at the dead.” 

“We?” Jean questioned his son lightly, “Are you...claiming your Jewishness now?” 

Bellamy thought about it, ‘Being here,” he chose the words carefully, “made me realize that I should. I am and I feel whole knowing that I am.” 

Marco nodded and raised his water bottle, “Mazel Tov, Bellamy. I always knew you might one day.” 

Bianca took a shuddering breath, “I’m going to throw up.” 

She pulled a bag from her purse and Bellamy and Gio held it and her hair. Cesare wiped his face before finding the ice bucket. He put some ice a cup and then filled it with water. 

When she finished, he handed it to her. 

Bianca started sobbing again. 

When they arrived at the school, Erwin and Armin were already being taken inside. Aviva held on to Judah like her life depended on it. Zev’s eyes were rubbed raw, red, and he looked ill. Gisela was dressed in white, beautiful but haunting. Her hair covered her makeup less face and her arms were covered in scratches from nerves. The dogs were with the children. 

Yoni and Hannahlore were there, wordless and slow. 

Armin and Erwin kept their heads down. 

When Levi and Erwin appeared with Ezra, Nikko, and Mila, there was a moment where they lifted their faces. 

Hanji and Oskar were next. They came with Alexi, Lilly, Ilya and Maxim. Maxim was beside himself, sobbing openly. Ilya held his hand and tried to be strong for him. Alexi was walking without thinking and Lilly wanted to be with Bellamy. 

They all gathered in one of the rooms in the school where the body was. Armin wept while Erwin held him and touched the smooth wood of the coffin. “Where is my father?” One of the men who escorted the body frowned, “He is missing. We checked his room but, we think he took it so poorly he may have just left.” 

Erwin broke down completely. 

Levi took his face in his hands, “Einayim sheli.” He kissed him and tried to calm him. Armin was with Eren, sobbing in his arms and pulling on his shirt. 

Eren was so angry. He grit his teeth. “I will avenge him, Armin.” 

Armin sputtered as he spoke. His words were punctuated by his sobs, “I know you will. I hate them all, Eren. My baby is gone.” 

He sobbed harder as the Rabbis from around the country entered. 

The Prime Minister was to follow along with other state ministers. 

Mikasa and David were still missing but that was to be expected. 

Lilly went to Bellamy. He took her into his arms. 

They were instructed where to sit inside of the arena. Only the parents and siblings would be at the front. 

Armin and Erwin wanted Levi and Eren. 

“They’re his parents, too.” 

The Prime Minister cleared her throat, “But, people will not understand that. They may give eulogies and stand near you but to be there the whole time would confuse people.” 

Erwin wanted to fight but he didn’t have it in him, “You realize we have been through such horrible things these past five days, right?” 

She nodded, “I do. But, this isn’t the time to create speculation of the morality of your life and take away from the blessing the memory of your son is to us all.” 

Judah was livid, “There is nothing immoral about our family!” 

Aviva’s tears dried up, “My husband is right. We all will stand at the front. Let the world speculate. We’re nothing to be ashamed of. He is our brother, _all_ of us.” 

Yoni swallowed before speaking, “We are missing family today. We won’t cast off those we have.” 

She looked around and noted Keita was missing, “Mr. Lavie?” 

Their faces told her what she didn’t want to know. 

Another funeral would take place tomorrow or the day after. 

“Fine, all of you. But, we would prefer Armin, Erwin, Aviva, Yoni, and Zev in the center.” The family thought that was agreeable. 

* 

The lines were long, people were standing for hours. Armin felt like he’d been at the front next to his son for days. He wanted to open the casket and look. He wanted it to be joke. All he wanted was to hold the little boy with wild red hair again. He liked sour patch kids, Russian military novels, and agriculture. He liked woodworking and being alone. 

Armin had often found his son to be an adorable combination of Zadkiel, Erwin, and his adorable Levi. There was no one quite like Tuvia in the family. 

Hannahlore was sobbing into Yoni’s chest, “It’s because we named Tovia after them! Keita and Tuvia had to die or my baby would have died!” 

Yoni was a broken man, overstressed, sleep deprived, and sad. 

He kissed the side of her head and wept with her. 

Erwin reached over to lightly tug on Armin’s hair, “Baby?” 

Armin looked up, a tissue in his hand as a woman passed. She nodded, tears in her eyes, “My daughter goes to school here.” 

Armin tried to smile. 

All he could manage was a squeeze of the hand. 

Erwin pulled his hair again, “Baby?” 

Armin swatted his hand away, “What?” 

Erwin looked him in the eyes, “I love you with all my heart. I could not do this without you. I couldn’t do anything without you and I wouldn’t have this life nor would I have known our son.” 

He started to choke up. 

They held each other, crying. 

The eulogies began while people were still coming in. There was a man that Eren had been watching for some time. He had made no small talk among other mourners and his behavior screamed more spectator than sincere concerned citizen. 

Levi gave his hand a squeeze, “I sense your brattiness level rising.” 

Levi’s face was colorless and he’d not spoke all morning till the incident with Erwin. 

Levi carried such guilt today. 

The line moved forward and people continued to flood in with words and signs. 

The man made his way to the coffin and looked at Armin and Erwin. 

Armin raised his face to him while Erwin looked him in the eye. 

“I am sorry. May his memory be a blessing.” 

He shook both of their hands. 

“He was a very talented and charming man. I never met anyone who didn’t like him.” 

Erwin spoke, “You knew my son personally? From where?” 

The man looked at the coffin, “I knew a _version_ of your son personally.” 

Erwin didn’t like how that sounded. 

Armin swallowed, “I’d like you to move on.” 

The man nodded, “I understand. But, I’d like some closure if you don’t mind.” 

He lifted the coffin to look inside. 

Armin gasped, “Stop!” 

The man closed the coffin abruptly. 

His face contorted in anger. 

“What is this shit?!” 

Erwin’s tone was warning, “Leave! You’ve already shamed yourself!” 

He looked at Erwin, “Is this all your family does?” 

Erwin’s eyes narrowed. 

A few bodyguards were on the move now. 

“What are you talking about?” 

The man’s eyes narrowed, “All you people are is just another version of the truth. You live in smoke and mirrors. You’re liars and frauds. You’re a king who wears a crown of shit!” 

He stepped back. 

Eren moved from Levi’s side and the guards picked up their speed. 

“You tell Tuvia,” he reached in his jacket, “I’m not the first to kill a king but I will be the last.” He pulled out a gun, pointed it point blank at Armin and pulled the trigger. 

_Bang, bang_

Blood splattered across Erwin’s face. 

The entire room went silent. 

There was a sense of shock that could only exist in this country. 

Someone said, “It’s not real.” 

Then, the screams. 

People fled through the exits, the Prime Minister was swiftly taken out, the family was separated in the chaos. 

A groan was heard and then an animalistic scream. 

Eren clutched the space between his shoulder and neck, feeling how close it had been to his collar bone. Blood was everywhere. 

He turned but the bullet hadn’t gone through. 

Armin was alive and on the floor. 

He turned to take off after him, “COME BACK! I’LL KILL YOU!” 

Eren left the building why everyone tried to understand what happened. 

He followed him into the streets and through buildings in tight rows. He realized that this had to be Zeke. There was something about the way he resembled the boy in the picture among Grisha’s things. When he got close enough, he pounced. 

Eren slammed into him. 

They wrestled out into the street. 

Cars nearly ran them over. 

It was clear that despite Eren’s wounds, he was much stronger than Zeke in that moment. 

Zeke seized an opportunity and ran into the crowd and over the barrier onto the freeway. Eren couldn’t get to him because he was now being picked over by worried citizens that saw his wound. He was in an ambulance before he knew what was happening. 

He would kill Zeke. 

He would kill him with his own hands. 

* 

The body was moved to the cemetery despite the circumstances. Bellamy looked at the coffin as Lilly held his hand tightly, “I don’t want him to go into the ground.” 

He was being buried in a plot that David and Mikasa had purchased for their family. It was going to see a lot of use. Bianca stepped forward, her legs heavy, “I have to see him.” 

Armin and Erwin were in total shock over everything. Bianca moved to the side and kneeled. 

She lifted the lid. 

Her tears stopped. 

Her face was utterly shocked. 

She sat back on her bottom and stared. 

There was suddenly a deep wailing that emanated from her body. 

She pulled her hair nearly out of her head until Gio restrained her. She flailed around in his arms, “It’s not real! IT’S NOT REAL!” 

Giovanni was the most sensitive of all the Kirschstein-Bodts. This was much too much. He lifted the lid to say goodbye and for her to get one last chance of closure. 

But, instead, he dropped her, “Pppppapa! Papa! PAPA!” 

Jean came over immediately and opened the lid, “HOLY SHIT!” 

He opened it fully and everyone looked at the body. 

Erwin vomited and fell to his knees. He clutched his heart, “Levi...Levi!” 

His entire world started to go black. 

Erwin Smith was having a heart attack. He was rushed to Hadassah Hospital for surgery to save his life. 

What a horrible day it was. 

* 

* 

* 

_The sound of running water from the creek made him feel relaxed. The cool air was an indication that winter was about to come. He saw that wood was piled high for the fire. An axe had been sharpened and hung up on the shed wall. There was the smell of food mixed with pine._

_He was home and it felt so good._

_He took his pack off and wiped the sweat from his brow._

_Everything was blue._

_Everything is blue in this world._

_He lifted the pack again. There was a small meow that caught his attention. A cat came from around the house to jump on the porch. It purred as it saw him, slinking its way across to him. It went around his legs in a figure eight. He reached down to pet it,_ “What brings you here? I’ve never seen a cat out here.” 

_Footsteps were heard on the porch making him raise his head back up,_ “It’s about time you finally came.” 

_Her hair was undone, way past her shoulders. It was golden and radiant. Her boots were polished and her long dress was inspired by folk patterns from the taiga. She looked magnificent and her blue eyes were piercing just like Erwin’s._ “Are you just going to stare or come in?” 

_He was crying._

_She stepped off the porch and took his face in her hands,_ “Why are you crying?”

“You’re so beautiful. I’m embarrassed.” 

“Of what?” 

“Of what I look like. I’m an old man, Marilyn.” 

“Not here. Look.” 

_She fetched a pail of water and bade him look into it. He saw the face of his youth._

_She stepped back,_ “Gabriel passed over but I did not.” 

“I didn’t ask.” 

“You wanted to.” 

“I did. Why didn’t you?” 

“Because,” _she started to cry,_ “who would listen to you talk if I left? Who would be here for you when you came? Who would take care of this place so that when you arrived you could eat and relax? Who but me could do this for you? I love you. I swore to never cross over until I could cross over with you.” 

_He moved closer,_ “Must we cross over now? 

_She smiled,_ “No, we don’t have to until we want to.” 

“We can stay here, at the cabin, and live like we always wanted?” 

“Yes.” 

“Then I don’t care if I ever cross over. Nothing could be better than this.” 

_Zadkiel took Marilyn into his arms and kissed her breathless._

“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” 

* 

* 

* 

The beeps woke him. 

Erwin slowly opened his eyes, gasping in suddenly aching pain. 

He clutched his chest but it was hot. 

A hand took a hold of his, “Erwin, don’t touch the sutures.” 

Levi’s voice was low, stern, and monotone. 

Erwin looked around at the room. He tried to find some sort of identifying marker on the wall or a paper. 

_Hadassah, Room 164._

Erwin took a deep breath, “Same hospital.” 

Levi nodded before responding, “Same room.” 

Erwin moved his head to the side to look at Levi, “What happened?” 

Levi’s face was made of stone, “You had a heart attack and needed emergency surgery. I didn’t have any serum on had but that’s now been administered. The wound is hot, as you can see.” 

Erwin reached out to touch Levi’s jaw. 

He traced it from the bottom of the ear to the tip of the chin before his thumb lightly swiped across his bottom full lip. Levi was still so handsome and still so vulnerable. 

“It wasn’t him.” 

Levi responded carefully, “In the coffin?” 

Erwin admired his eyelashes, “My father is dead.” 

Levi nodded, “Yes, it seems he is.” 

“My son is dead.” 

Levi chose his words best he could, “We do not know.” 

Erwin’s heart rate skyrocketed, “It’s obvious!” 

Levi gripped his arm, “No, it’s not. I checked his body and he has gun wounds from an execution.” 

“What does that mean, then?” 

“Commander Smith, you’re being rather dense. It means, as horrible as it is, we more than likely saw Zadkiel being executed and not Tuvia. In fact, after we were attacked today I’d say that’s what made that man so livid. He really believed that Tuvia was dead. I think that was the point.” 

“Levi, get me out of this fucking hospital so I can look for my son.” 

Levi leaned back and took his file from the small side table. He flipped through it while Erwin watched. His chest ached and his body was hot with fever. Levi turned the pages slowly. 

“Are you turning them as slow as you possibly can? What’s wrong with you?” 

Levi glared, “I’d be quiet if I were you. I reached into your body and took your heart in my hand for compressions.” 

Erwin’s face was shocked, ‘You did _what?!_ ” 

“They gave up on you. I didn’t.” 

“I was that bad off?” 

“Erwin, you’re always a pain.” 

He kept reading, “You can leave in two more hours.” 

“I can just go?” 

Levi’s hands fell down. He sighed, exasperated. He rolled his eyes, “No, idiot, you can’t be discharged but you _can_ sneak out!” 

“Ohhh, Levi, I see.” 

“Do you? You’re pretty dense today.” 

“Why are you being so mean?” 

Levi didn’t answer. He picked the paper up and Erwin couldn’t see his face. Occasionally, he heard a small _tap_ on the newspaper paper that was a tear. 

* 

Keita’s vitals were barely there now. He was lying in the bed on his back. The covers pulled high, almost to his neck. His breath barely fogged the mirror Jaffa occasionally held up to him. He’d become so ill after the serum and the hours had passed like years till his body finally gave up. 

His ribs were broken. 

His skin bruised. 

His nose bled. 

He probably couldn’t hear anymore. 

Jaffa laid her head on the bed next to where his covered hand lifted the blanket up. She looked at it. She wanted to touch it, to feel his rough hands on her arms when they sparred or when they shook hands. Jaffa wanted to read the paper with him while they drank coffee. She wanted him to annoy her with his constant praise of his mother. 

Now, his mother sat in a corner with his father. 

A candle was ready to be lit for their son’s passing. 

Jaffa wrapped her arms around her midsection and stayed with her head on the bed next to him. 

There was a soft sound followed by footsteps. 

“Jaffa.” Annie’s voice was coxing and soft. She lifted her head to see her mother look at Mikasa and David before joining them. She took Mikasa’s hand, “Whatever I can do for you, I will.” 

David cleared his throat, “Jaffa has done more than enough.” 

* 

The day after Tuvia was executed was the day she was to meet Reiner and Bertolt. Keita had held onto her hand that morning in bed, “Please don’t go. Please don’t leave me.” 

Jaffa had wanted to stay more than anything but she had to go. 

Armin, Erwin, Eren, Levi, and David were supposed to go with her but Armin and Erwin were in no shape. Therefore, it shifted to Hanji, Eren, and Oskar. David was still in control of the plan. 

They would have them meet at Jaffa’s apartment. 

She would invite them in and they’d be waiting in some of the rooms. 

She would need to separate them after they recorded as much information as possible. 

David would make the call and signal to her. 

Her signal would be a text message from Keita asking her to pick up some cokes from the 24 hour supermarket by her house and bring them to him. 

David had already started a fake conversation using his son’s phone earlier that day for legitimacy. 

Jaffa’s objectives were to find out key things: 

1\. Where are The Soldiers located and in what cities? 

2\. Who was the leader? 

3\. What would her role be? 

4\. What was the goal of the organization? 

5\. How do they relate to The Wall? 

The goal was to take them alive but if that wasn’t possible they would kill them. 

Jaffa was to ask one of them to get her something from one of the rooms in the house. 

Those who were in the room would tag team the person. 

Guns were prohibited due to the location. 

David had soldiers on standby. 

“Miss Meir, you are not our top priority. If your life is threatened, we may not be able to help you.” 

David had regretted saying the words but he had to in the name of transparency. He thought she was important for many reasons but she was also a ticking time bomb. 

Jaffa received confirmation that they were landing. 

Keita took her hand, “Don’t go.” 

David heard the childish want in his son’s voice, so familiar to Hannahlore who had been on the receiving end of that voice so many times. 

Jaffa was shaking, “I have to do this, Keita.” 

Keita groaned, “I...don’t have long and I would like for you to stay.” 

David’s breath caught in his chest. He looked to Mikasa and saw her as defeated and sad as they all were. She cleared her throat, “She won’t go then. She’ll work with me today at the store and then come home to help me clean up. The funeral is tomorrow and we’ll need her to help watch the children.” 

Mikasa stroked her son’s face, “Go to sleep.” 

They all left the room. Mikasa closed the door and looked at Jaffa, “Go and put an end to this, sweet Jaffa. My son will not last much longer and he’s made it clear that you mean the world to him.” She hugged her and with Mikasa’s blessing, they were off. 

* 

Reiner and Bertolt had a multitude of gifts for their potential daughter. It was always like this but now more than ever. They had something they could really celebrate. The cars whizzed by as they crossed the street to her apartment building. 

Bertolt smiled in the elevator despite himself, “I’m so excited, gatto(kitty).” Bertolt had called Reiner gatto their entire relationship and it was bore out a night that involved a lot of drinking and animal noises. 

Reiner took his hand, “I am, too. I want her to come with us and take the spot, you know?” 

Bertolt moved over rather clumsily and kissed Reiner. Reiner dropped the boxes and brought Bertolt into a heated kiss. He brought him around and dipped him like a disney princess. 

This is how Jaffa saw them as she stood before the elevator doors. 

“Uncle Reiner and Bertolt, it’s good to see love still abounds.” 

She smiled and they laughed. 

Once inside of her apartment, she gave them coffee and laid out food for them to leisurely eat from. Yossi Azulay played over the speakers in her apartment. His voice was relaxing and only recently had she realized that Keita’s own voice reminded her of him. He’d gotten drunk at a karaoke night and belted out a few tunes. 

She wondered if he was okay. 

They spoke of their travels, the weather, the trip, and they spoke of their love for her mother and herself. Time was slipping by and the group was growing restless in the other rooms. Her phone hadn’t gone off yet. 

“Jaffa, I’m sure you have questions.” Bertolt was kind as he sipped his coffee. Reiner nodded, “I know I would. We’re here for you so ask whatever you want.” 

She asked about all of the things she wanted to know but they never gave her any answers. They seemed very hesitant to speak about any of it and after nearly an hour she was at her end. She picked her phone up for the time and noted she had no service. 

_Fuck!_

She heard the construction outside. 

Sometimes she lost service when the bigger machines were brought out. 

_The plan with Keita won’t work._

She swallowed, “I want to join you two but I don’t know how. I didn’t know how to prove myself.” 

They both frowned, “Well, we need a sign you’re truly serious to proceed. It’s true. We expected these talks to go on over a few days before you proved yourself.” 

She looked scared, like a child would if they were afraid they’d get in trouble, “But, I already did something.” 

David was in the guest room. 

He listened to the tone of her voice. 

_What are you going to do, Jaffa? Stick to the plan._

She clutched her hands around her coffee cup, “I did something.” 

_I have to get them to talk about everything without David’s sign._

Reiner reached over to touch her leg, “What did you do, my precious Jaffa?” 

_It has to be good._

“I know how you feel about the Ackermanns and Smiths. I intended to leave with you once you got here. I want to leave with you and go straight into The Soldiers.” 

Reiner cleared his throat, “What did you do?” 

She took a deep breath, “I poisoned Keita Lavie.” 

She took out her phone and showed them pictures of Keita she’d taken for Mossad. He was in his bed, hooked to machines, and clearly ill. “It’s been slowly working it’s way through him. They have no idea what it is and they definitely do not suspect me. I am his closest confidant and I took advantage of that.” 

Reiner and Bertolt were shocked as she showed documents from doctors. 

They knew she was ready, “We will take you with us, Jaffa.” 

“I want to know everything, Reiner. I want to know everything before it gets all complicated and lost in the rush.” 

Bertolt leaned forward and from them, information flowed out like water from a spigot, “Rod Reiss currently controls the Reiss Kingdom. They’ve been fortifying an underground city in the US to withstand any kind of siege, war, or nuclear disaster. He’s been mentored along the way and his daughter Krista, her real name is Historia, has slowly taken her place as the future ruler.” 

She is who The Wall and The Soldiers have the most contact with. Rod is involved in the older generations that are fine with the way things are now. They don’t understand that we’re ready to wipe out the inferior races and reclaim this world for our people.” 

She spoke, “Our people?” 

Bertolt took over, “In the beginning, we were part of another race separate from the Reiss. However, they realized that this was their ultimate undoing and after generations of strategic breeding, those who were enemies to the Reiss race are now genetically Reiss. This is why Reiner and I are on their side. We have everything to lose if the Reiss lose. We’d never be allowed to live in this world now as we are.” 

When we were children in the original life, we were pulled from other children and given a titan. We were used to infiltrate them and our goal was to simply steal the power of the Reiss family and return it to our people. Then, we were going to destroy them all. However, that’s not what happened. We were defeated and left within the walls and everything was so chaotic. Now, we serve and for it, we shall inherit a portion of eden.” 

The Soldiers goal is to destroy The Wall after they’ve fulfilled their purpose. They’ve been funneling in troops in America and within a few hours well laid plans will come to fruition. Rod has been disarming the populace and those who still insisted on keeping their weapons will soon find them no match against ours. They’re faulty, the ammo poor, and The Wall and The Soldiers will now make up the military. Rod will become the King of America and then, the threat of nuclear winter will loom over the heads of other countries. His goal is to offer treaties with key countries, defeat all of their enemies, and then turn on them.” 

Jaffa was overwhelmed, “How does he kill billions of people without using nukes? He can’t! It would destroy the world! What keeps another country from turning on him?” 

Reiner shoved a cake in his mouth, “Well, we’ve built an underground bunker for our people so if it comes to that, we’re okay. You’ll be fine. We also had everyone we could vaccinated with a virulent strain of our virus and once we activate it, they’ll be nothing more than thoughtless titans roaming around till death. Historia only needs a piece of the coordinate to do so.” 

“How will she get that?” 

“We’re going to abduct Gisela Ackermann-” 

“Smith, she’s married, remember?” 

“Well, Honestly I try to forget. Sebastian is still in love with her and he wants her with him. It’s not pretty what she’s planning but it is what it is.” 

“Tell me, Reiner. I want to know everything. The good and ugly.” 

Bertolt took his hand and Reiner snorted, “Just like your mother. Let me rephrase, I don’t want to talk about it until I need to. Just know, once we get her, we can proceed in a year or two with that portion of the plan. The war is also another way for us to dwindle down the population.” 

However, the coups have severely wounded us. We no longer have Reiss in critical positions. We’re sure that Asia will break from our control. Russia is a toss up. Poland is still secure. We only have a few other secure countries. Tuvia dealt us a tough blow in Poland but the coup was extremely upsetting.” 

We think that once we get people tired and unsettled, we can come in and offer the promise of peace. We’ll do testing and take from the fold those that can help our people thrive. The others will find themselves in exile in graves. But, you, Jaffa, you’ll inherit so much of the world if you join us.” 

He smiled and she thought about it, “Why dissolve The Wall?” 

Reiner shrugged, “Because, they’ve been very, very inconsistent and it’s clear to Historia that One Eye is playing a few side games. Now, if he chose a new leader, she might let them stay around in some capacity but only as a subset of us. Word is, he already has a trainee. We’re trying to find out who. We suspect it’s one of our own.” 

“Who?” She was curious and needed more information. 

“Ape or, rather, Zeke. He….he may be your father, too. He leads our reform unit. It’s where all Soldiers and Wall defectors and defeatists go for reconditioning.” 

“Where are The Soldiers located?” 

Reiner and Bertolt spoke of many cities worldwide but their main locations were in Iraq. That’s where they were headquartered. 

“What is the goal of the Soldiers?” 

“Purely to dissolve The Wall and protect the Reiss family at all costs. The Wall was created by Abulafia and it was to stir up issues to distract those from the original life. We’re to give our lives for the cause. Your role would be to fill that of Ymir’s daughter, Brena. She was killed and was the leader of our groups in Europe. We’d have to trained in our methods, place you in her position, and you’d be the one to kill One Eye.” 

“Me? I’d kill him? Shouldn’t someone more powerful and influential do it?” 

“We could have someone else do it but...we’d like our daughter to do it.” 

She smiled, “Wow, what an honor. I don’t know what to say.” 

They smiled before Bertolt continued, “We have a proposal. We run the wall but it was always supposed to be a four person job. Zeke does his part. I train soldiers in strategy. Reiner in the actual acts of fighting. And your mother used to train in special arts. We’re the colossal titan, the armored titan, the ape titan, and she was the female titan. Her power has passed to you. We can sense it. You can assume the role.” 

She felt ill, “You mean, I can be liked mother?” 

“Have the headaches began? The wanting?” Bertolt seemed positively giddy, “They normally do around eighteen but sometimes it’s later.” 

She shook her head no, “But, God willing.” She laughed hopefully. 

She hoped she was a good enough liar. 

It must have worked because they were so excited. 

After a while longer she stood up, “I’ll clean these. Bertolt, could you go to my room and get my house coat? I’m cold and it’s lying on my bed.” 

He got up, leaned over to kiss Reiner, and happily made his way to the bedroom. 

She turned the faucet on and began cleaning the dishes. Reiner yawned and laid down on the couch, “Jaffa, we are so happy.” 

She grinned, “I am, too.” 

There was a slam of the door. 

Reiner sat up, ‘Bert?” 

She turned the water off, “That door is really easy to slam, Reiner.” 

He stood up, ‘Bert!” 

He went towards her bedroom. Once in the doorway, Hanji was there with a knife. She swiped down and he blocked before hitting her in the ribs harshly. The struggle inside of the apartment began. 

Eren was on top of Bertolt who was frantically punching and wiggling out of the grip. David tried to restrain him but he managed to get a knife from his sleeve. He plunged it into David’s leg and then swiped across Eren’s stomach. 

Eren was manic. 

David had no patience, “Either stop resisting or we kill you.” 

Bertolt hear the door open to her ensuite. Eren had more rop, “We will take you and you will speak.” 

Bertolt and Reiner fought them for over an hour inside of the modestly sized apartment. 

In the end, Reiner was subdued. 

Bertolt took poison and was dead. 

David’s wounds were worrisome but he didn’t let on, “I’ll have Reiner transferred to LM8, Jaffa. We’ll also reimburse you for the damages.” 

She had a bruised face, strangulation marks, broken fingernails, and a limp. Hanji’s eye had been damaged along with broken ribs. The fact that these two women took down Reiner only amazed the men. 

Eren’s stab wounds were healing. 

He looked at Reiner, “In the original life, you forgot for a while what you were and what your purpose was. You fought alongside us and you were our brother. It’s true, I’ve had a soft spot for you but my cautious nature outweighed that this time. My daughter is never going to be with your son. I am sorry that you lost your husband but this is the way it has to be. You or us.” 

He moved closer to look at Reiner’s face up close, “We are different than you. We choose, in the face of every obstacle, to live.” 

Jaffa was now focused solely on Keita, “I want to go back home.” 

They all headed back, the EMTs unhappy with their refusal for treatment. 

* 

Mikasa looked at David and pulled him to their room, ‘You foolish man! How could you let yourself get this hurt!?” She removed his shirt and saw the various wounds. She grabbed the medkit and gave him a shot of serum before tending to his wounds. 

He looked up at her, “I love you so much I would count the grains of sand that cover the entire world just to be with you forever.” 

She kissed him, “I love you so much I would swim across all of the oceans just to be with you forever.” 

He pulled her in his lap, “That girl loves him. He must love her, too. She is so smart and resourceful. She is just like you.” 

She kissed him again, “She is just like Annie. She’s just had a better life than her mother and that’s what makes the difference. I was loved, David. I knew I was loved. She knows that but Annie had never known love.” 

She kissed him over and over until they fell on the bed and went to sleep. 

* 

Now, Jaffa was holding Keita’s hand above the covers. She swiped the hair out of his face and felt his smooth skin on his cheek. 

There was a moment when things seemed like they may improve. 

His fingers twitched and he gripped her hand. 

“Momma.” 

His words died on his lips. 

The life left him. 

The machines let out a wail of death. 

Keita Solomon Lavie was dead. 

After the funeral, the family had returned to the apartment. Annie left and would return to gather her daughter. Zvi walked in just as it happened. He kissed Annie as she left and then asked for advice. How would he soothe his daughter now? 

Zev stood in the doorway looking at him. 

Keita and Zev in the same room physically but both very far away from each other. 

* 

There was a darkness. 

Keita felt it cloak him. He was calm, a little cool but not too bad. He thought of Jaffa’s scent, his mother’s cooking, his sister’s laugh, and his father’s hugs. 

He was happy. 

But, then he wasn’t. 

He opened his eyes and heard the birds chirping, the sunlight warmed his face, and his feet ached as if he’d walked a very, very long way. In fact, all of his body started to burn and ache. His sorrow grew as he realized his pain would never end. 

He looked around and saw a cabin on a hill. 

He’d go check it out. 

A fire was lit, a cat on the porch, and a woman with long blonde hair rocked in a rocking chair while reading. There was a record player playing a song that was familiar. 

It was Avivas voice. 

“Ma’am, that’s my cousin singing.” 

He walked closer and she turned around to see him better, “Wait, what are you doing here?” 

He paused, “I….don’t know.” 

She looked at him intently before standing, “Zad! Zad! Get out here and handle this.” 

She was gorgeous. Her eyes were just like Erwin’s. There was a bit of Aviva here and there. Yoni and Tuvia favored her more than anything. But, then, in the way her lip quirked when Zad appeared, there was Zev. 

“Keita?” 

Keita looked at Zadkiel, “Ded...dedka?” 

Zad’s mouth fell open, “No, no, no. Now, I understand.” 

She nodded, “Is this what he’s talking about?” 

Zad nodded and pulled her to his side with an arm around her waist, “Yeah, now I get it. You kids are ridiculous. I did this so none of you had to and you had the nerve to die. Well, Levi let you die. I’ll be damned.” 

Marilyn looked at his face, “Well, Zev asked if-” 

“I know.” Zad walked towards him, “You know, Zev’s been asking for you to come back. This ain’t no place for you but you’re here. You’re here but you have so much to do and then there’s that girl! Shit….Also, Bianca is pregnant and more death isn’t what she needs so this isn’t going to fucking fly.” 

Marilyn smiled, “You’re over it? Gunna play God?” 

He mumbled, “Someone is going to play God.” He turned around to face her as he said it. Then he smirked, “And I’m going to assist God.” 

He punched Keita. 

And with that… 

_**Inhalation** _

Keita sat up in his bed with a shock. 

He was burning with fever and ached but it was manageable. 

Dare he say, normal? 

The serum was working. 

He looked at his arm, the needle still in it. 

Zev stood by the bed, his hand on it. 

Zev started to laugh, “My God, you…..You…..How fitting. You nearly had me killed multiple times and now it’s the serum from _my_ albinism that saved you! Hahahahahahaah” 

Zev sat down in his chair with a thud. 

His head in his hands as he laughed uncontrollably. 

Keita pulled the needle out before laying back down. He was so light headed. 

He started to cry, “I love you, brother.” 

Zev’s sobs were an ode to suffering. 

He crawled in the bed like a child to hold Keita against him. 

Keita broke down, tears staining his shirt. 

They held each other tightly, afraid this dream would end. 

“I love you, too, brother.” 

* 

* 

* 

Annie wanted to give something to her daughter that she’d kept with her all of her life. It was the one possession she had never let be taken from her. Keita died and now she might break. Annie needed to help her in anyway she could. 

Her apartment was luxurious and people would probably think they were the typical Burrough Modern Orthodox couple from America living off rent money from their parents but they had worked extremely hard for what they had. 

The apartment ([1](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/3a/11/99/3a11998fe7d09bed948b2047791ceb4d.jpg) [2](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/6c/47/f3/6c47f3a0169be1847f424b773252ea64.jpg) [3](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/97/f9/17/97f9175f00af016f516bc8c121e0be90.jpg) [4](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/b1/ed/5c/b1ed5c59aeeb420ef345911f8ca11580.jpg) [5](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/34/ed/47/34ed473fa8e7679ca8b7268b7b331793.jpg) [6](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/89/c1/3e/89c13ee59adba44af1223b2aba9a14cc.jpg) [7](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/0b/c6/7d/0bc67d9086871d5fed35f4a92fe8e918.jpg) [8](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/1b/86/9c/1b869c05248e3eacead64dfec30c7a68.jpg) [9](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/e2/96/0a/e2960aa7f445da1597632259762acd8e.jpg) [10](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/37/96/8f/37968f1ae1460d2b6829a839d21d910a.jpg))was a gift to Zvi from the jeweler that had no sons. They gutted it after mold was found and slowly they renovated. Annie had fed a naked and freshly bathed Jaffa on the counter tops of every room every night for two years. And that was just to get sheet rock back up and structural things changed. The decor and furniture had come slowly. 

She loved her home because it was hers. 

This home belonged to her. 

She found what she was looking for and wrote a small note on it. She packed it in her bag and grabbed a few things like spare clothes and toiletries for her daughter. She changed out of her work clothes and took a quick shower. 

While semi drying her hair with a towel, she pulled on a pair of black leggings and one of Zvi’s shirts. It was still cold so her leather jacket would do. Annie’s hair was still damp when she heard the front door open. 

“Zvi?” 

“Hello, Annie.” 

She walked into the living room slowly. 

Zeke stood in her home looking like a weed. 

He was so tall, his glasses glinted in the light, and he was bruised and bleeding, “I’m okay. Just a run in with Eren Jaeger. He doesn’t even look like my father. I feel like I should contest those DNA results.” 

She was shocked, afraid, sick, and more. But, she didn’t let on. 

She shrugged, “He looks like his mother.” 

She went to the kitchen and pulled out two cups for coffee. He watched her, slowly circling the island till he stood behind her, “I’ve missed you.” 

He wrapped his arms around her as she added sugar and milk. 

“Here.” She handed him the coffee and then turned around in his arms, “Are you here to kill him?” 

He smiled, ‘No, better.” 

She raised an eyebrow, her voice monotone, “What’s better than killing?” 

He seemed giddy, “I’m going to save him.” 

She looked confused, “How?” 

He pulled her closer, “Don’t worry about it, Annie. Just let me enjoy holding you.” 

He kissed her but she felt nothing. 

She hated him beyond words. 

But, she was no match for him. He could sway her and there was nothing she could do about it. 

That’s what having royal blood did to a person. He was a titan, a royal, and soon the other Reiss would fall in line behind him. He’d spoke of it many times. 

All he needed was the coordinate and he could change the world. 

Historia would never have the sway over the original titans like Zeke because she never was one. 

She pushed him away, “I’m hot. I’d rather not be touched right now. Just drink your coffee.” 

“Annie, I need your help.” 

“Oh?” 

“Where is Jaffa?” 

“How should I know? She’s a grown woman.” 

His mood was turning. She could feel it. 

“Was she maybe with Reiner and Bertolt?” 

Annie crossed her arms, “I would hope not.” 

He moved closer, hands in his pockets, “She was. They said they were going to test her and then ask her to take your spot. She’s awakening. A royal and a titan. She’ll be like me and she’ll have all the good parts of you. What a magnificent princess the new world will inherit, Annie. Her children will inherit the new world order.” 

Annie scoffed, “Jaffa isn’t interested in things like that and she’s never woke.” 

He smiled, “She’s a late bloomer and you know what that means.” 

Annie’s eyes narrowed, “Yes, but I think it’s not going to be the case here. She may be Reiner or Bertolt’s child.” 

“Annie, my love, I have missed you so. Your ability to traverse the waters of our world and fates is admirable. You’d make a fine queen.” 

She raised an eyebrow, “You know I’m not one for the spotlight.” 

He reached out to cup her face in his hand, “I love you.” 

There was a moment of silence till he spoke again, “That’s why I need you to listen carefully. You have an important role to play. Is there anything you’d like to confess to me before we proceed?” 

She shook her head no, “No. I don’t understand what you’re implying either. You know, Zeke, you never could speak plainly. I don’t like unnecessary talk unless it’s sincere and honest.” She was thinking of Zvi and how he could just ramble away to her. Every word he said he meant, though. It was pleasant to be around such a childlike innocence. 

He frowned, “Why do you lie to me, Annie?” 

“I don’t.” 

“I know Reiner was taken prisoner and I know Bertolt is dead. Jaffa’s life is in danger if she stays with the Ackermanns. They will kill her.” 

“They know nothing of her and you’re being paranoid.” 

She started to cry, “And what do you mean he’s dead?” 

Zeke studied her carefully. She sobbed more, looking at the floor and then a picture on the counter of them all when Jaffa was little, “You can’t believe she’d turn on them. You can’t believe we’d hurt each other like that!” 

He believed her. This was his curse. He loved a woman who absolutely despised him and he refused to see it. 

“You have no idea what has happened? They used Jaffa to bait them. Bertolt took poison. He pushed an emergency button and that alerted me. I came to Israel to check on them and to make sure Tuvia Smith was in the ground.” 

“Tuvia is dead. It’s known.” 

“No, apparently that is now in question. Inside of his coffin was Zadkiel. The old White King. Tuvia may be alive but hopefully, he is dead. He’s the next king.” 

“Erwin is the king.” 

“Now Erwin is the White King. His son Tuvia was to be the next. From all of our sources the next king will be like the greatest King. That was Zad. Both had red hair and there were only a few red headed kings. It’s important we kill the King in Waiting and then the current White King.” 

She thought about how wrong he was. If her Reiss schooling served her right, after Erwin there was an albino king. After the great wars, albino kings were always the ones to come right after or right before Erwin. She wished she didn’t even know this. She wished this wasn’t the life she’d been born into. 

“Tuvia was stationed by me in Denmark. Word is that the next White King is also One Eye’s second. He never chose me even with the ultimatums I gave him. Tuvia was the obvious choice. Now, I need to get Reiner and while I’m doing that you will act as my secret weapon.” 

She swallowed, “What?” 

“My love, you have access to Jaffa. Jaffa works for Keita Lavie. Right now, he is dying and everyone is here. I want you to poison them all except for Gisela, Aviva, and Eren. Then you and Jaffa will kidnap them and bring them to me. You know where I live.” 

“How can I poison everyone but three?” 

“You’ll slip the antidote into their drinks. It will work best if you pass out coffees or drinks to each person. You can do it. If it’s too much, kill them in their sleep. Just make sure to get Eren, Aviva. and Gisela.” 

She pulled away from him, “I don’t want to be involved.” 

He pulled her back harshly, “I can make you. In fact, I will make you. It’ll be easier that way.” 

He was right and she knew this is what he’d do. 

She had no choice in the matter. 

She was trapped. 

She walked towards the patio, “You coming?” 

He followed her outside gladly. 

The city was alive. 

She looked up at the sky and admired the endless blue. 

He leaned over on the railing, “It’s beautiful. Is this where you’d like to live when we become rulers?” 

She sighed and lowered her head to look at the jewelry shop where Zvi worked. 

“It’s a beautiful thing to be with the one you love.” 

He turned to her after speaking the words. He thought he’d see her nod or smile, something. 

But, as usual, Annie’s gaze was far away. 

He grew annoyed, “Annie, I know you’re not an emotional person but you could at least give into your feelings at moments like this. We’ve been apart for so long. I respected your wishes but you knew I’d come back to take you and Jaffa away. You are the great love of my life.” 

She laughed mockingly. 

He grew angry, “Why laugh? Am I not the great love of your life? Tch, don’t be foolish. I know what we have. It’s real and it’s beautiful. Those nights we spent together are all I have had to comfort myself with in the darkness.” 

She looked at him, “Zeke, you are and always have been delusional. Mikasa Ackermann was the first real love of my life. I have carried her within me and held a light up in her honor all of these years. Jaffa is named after her. Because, there is no other beauty like the beauty of Mikasa Ackermann.” 

She straightened herself, her resolve was solid, her voice did not shake. When she spoke, she spoke knowing he would hear, “But, Zvi Meir is the greatest love of my life. He is my salvation. For all of his songs, I am a violin.” 

Zeke’s eyes widened as his ears registered the sound of popping metal. 

Jean was walking by the apartment from a local church. He was talking to his mother on the phone, processing the news of Keita’s death, Zadkiels death, and Tuvia’s disappearance and possible death. Delaine and Gio were planning on coming for the shivas. 

He paused before the building, turning to look at the jewelry shop. He had no idea who lived there and who worked there. All he saw was a cross that spoke to him. It made him think of Marco. He found Israel to be an interesting and spiritual place. 

There was a sudden thud and then screams. 

He saw people rushing to something. 

He hung up after quickly telling his mother something had happened and he’d call her back. 

When he got to the area, people were trying to call an ambulance. 

It was pointless. 

The jumper was clearly dead. 

The fall had been from the top floor. 

Jean’s pupils widened. 

His fist clenched. 

His teeth gritted. 

He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. 

Annie Leonhardt’s body was nearly perfect in the way it laid on the sidewalk. Her face seemed at peace. Her mouth had a faint smile like Mikasa’s. 

Jean’s knees were weak causing him to fall. He crawled forward, “Annie.” 

The people on the street made way for the first responders, “Sir, do you know her?” 

“Yes, please take me with you.” 

“Ok. Husband?” 

“Sure.” 

“Sure?” 

“Just let me go!” 

Annie’s bag was heavy. They cut the strap and he took it. 

_Who jumps with a bag?_

He opened in while in the ambulance. The diary had Jaffa’s name on it. There were other things. Envelopes and paper work with notes. Zvi’s name was on some and Jaffa’s on others. 

It didn’t make sense. 

_Why jump and commit suicide with these things on!?_

Jean thought about it longer and longer. 

_Someone would just leave them where family could see them. This means she was either going to bring them to someone or- **maybe she didn’t think they would be safe in the apartment. She jumped knowing the EMTs would keep it with her and her body!**_

He looked back over at her. The ambulance shaking and the men sitting in their seats. She had no pulse. She was dead. 

Her face was a somber picture of peace. 

Jean started to cry. 

_Why?_

* 

Levi was staring at Keita like he was a ghost. Zev and him were asleep in the bed and for a moment, Levi had thought he was holding a corpse. But, Keita’s color had returned, his chest rose and fell normally, steam still occasionally left his ears but other than that he was alive and returning to normal. 

Levi shut the door to the crying and despair. He locked it. He was terrified this was a dream of some sort. He wouldn’t stir them up unless he had reason. 

Zev and Keita. 

Zev and Keita in the same room _and_ bed. 

He looked around and saw a discarded syringe, “Tch.” 

_Brats, leaving syringes around like they’re not sharp and dangerous!_

He pulled the covers back and gently began opening Keita’s robe. He was noting all the muscles that had gone back to their normal shape and the way he was fleshing out. He saw how his skin was now returning to it’s bronzy color like David’s and then there was the birthmark that had been removed when he needed a feeding tube. It was in the same exact place as Mikasa’s. 

He was happy to see it had returned. 

He gently stroked Keita’s face till he woke up, “Keitaleh, my handsome Keitaleh.” 

Keita smiled as Levi continued to lavish him with attention. Levi had taken up special time with him his entire life. They went on trips together, had special projects they worked on, and Keita knew deep down that Levi loved him so much that he’d do anything for him. He was his brother’s son. He was his blood. Keita had felt so special growing up and now he felt like that again. 

“Levka.” 

Levi kissed his forehead, “I failed you.” 

Keita touched his face gently, “No, you didn’t.” 

Levi covered the hand on his cheek with his own, “I did. I chose the serum I though had the highest percentage of working but I was wrong. Zev’s was an outlier and had a low chance of working. But, I should have gone with fate. Zev pointed out how ironic it would have been and irony is our lifeblood.” 

Keita chuckled and it sounded raspy but not concerning. 

“My kleiner Keitaleh, I need to do a full check up.” 

Zev rolled over and yawned, “Be quiet.” 

Levi reached over to scratch his back lightly, “My Judah and Gisela are very sad right now and you could make them both feel _much_ better, Zevka.” 

Zev opened his eyes and rolled over, “ _Judah_ and Gisela?” 

Levi raised his eyebrows and shrugged, “You think I don’t notice something is going on with my son and you?” 

Keita sat up suddenly, “Zev, really? I knew when we were young you wanted them both but really?” 

Zev sat up, “You let me tend to my flock and you tend your own. Oh, that’s right, you don’t have a flock yet. Buuuuuurn!” 

Zev stood up and stretched, “Should I tell them?” 

“Not yet. Wait till I finish this check up.” 

“Okay. I’m going to take a shower. I’ll borrow some clothes.” 

Keita thought that was weird. Levi waited till he shut the door, “Keita, Tuvia’s body wasn’t in the coffin. Zadkiel’s was. He was executed. We’re not sure what has become of Tuvia and it has been a great shock. Erwin had a heart attack and nearly died. I….released him from the hospital. You died when we all got here. Zev lingered around you and in that time he must have tried the last serum in my pack I left here. It was a risk and as you can probably understand, he needs time to himself.” 

Keita was in shock. 

He started to cry, reaching for Levi to hold him like a child. 

Levi did. 

He remembered some other information, “Also, Zeke showed up and tried to kill Armin. He shot at him and Eren jumped in front taking the bullet.” Levi recounted all of the events for him while he cried and gasped throughout the story. 

Levi heard the shower turn off and soon Zev appeared. 

He’d clearly been crying, “Well, if there’s no further need of me, I’m going to go take my wife to bed and then try to seduce her brother. You know, normal stuff.” 

Levi stood up, “Send Jaffa, Mikasa, and David but don’t tell why.” 

Zev nodded and did so. 

Keita was smothered by his mother and father. Jaffa merely cried in the chair next to the bed and prayed. His sister had no more tears to shed and Yoni sat dumbly across with a strained smile on his face. He then got up to get Tovia and handed him to Keita. 

Everyone else came in and it seemed the haze was lifting. Erwin was at home with Armin but they were phoned. Eren was with them, handcuffed to Maxim since his running off had pushed Levi to the edge and beyond. He was under house arrest, effective until he said so. Ilya didn’t mind since that meant Maxim couldn’t run away either. He didn’t think he would but there had been a lot of strange things happening lately. 

After a while, Mikasa shooed everyone out and left Jaffa alone with Keita. 

David kissed her in their room softly. His tears stained her cheeks and her hands roamed his back. 

Their son was alive. 

Their son was _alive._

Now, they could _fight!_

He pulled back, “I just want to be close to you.” 

She felt herself become lightheaded as her clothes pooled around her feet. 

Her husband made her feel like clay. 

He could mold her, shape her, and create from her whatever he desired. She loved him without bounds. He kissed her softly, each one a proclamation of his undying love and devotion. 

He was the rising sun in the east. The new morning to a new day. 

He made grain grow and flowers bloom. 

He warmed stone and her heart. 

Her lover was like a gazelle and his blessings like ripe fruit on the vine. 

David and Mikasa found comfort in each other as they made love and reaffirmed their bond. 

* 

While others went about their business, the bodyguard and bureaucrat sat in silence. Keita eventually moved to turn the covers down, “Come here, Jaffa. I want to be near you.” 

She shook her head, “No, how ridiculous.” 

That wounded him greatly, “I’m sorry.” 

She stood, “You died in those sheets. Get up. How improper would it be to remain in them let alone ask someone to join you in them!” 

He stood and they changed the sheets in silence again. 

When she finally got in, her body ached to be held. 

He laid next to her and wished she’d ask him to hold her, “I am sorry I put you through so much.” 

“Shut up, Lavie.” 

His hand found her’s under the covers. 

She began to cry, “You died.” 

He told her about what happened with Zadkiel. 

She sat up after he finished, “I should go. You should be with your family.” She got out of the bed and went to the door. He caught her as her hand touched the handle, “Jaffa, do you love me?” 

She covered her eyes with her hand, “I told you I did. You told me I did it wrong.” 

He pulled her away from the door and turned her around to face him, “You did do it wrong. You’re supposed to tell someone you love them for the first time seriously. It’s not something you just say. When you said you loved me like you did I knew you were serious but I was afraid you weren’t sure. I doubted it.” 

He took her face in his hands, “That’s why I think it’s important to tell you like this. I love you, Jaffa. I love you and the closer I came to death the more I realized that I was hopelessly in love with you. It was so painful. Every moment was agony. I would never forgive myself if I told you how I felt as I lay dying. I would not want to make things harder. I’d want you to recover quickly and find love and have a family.” 

You would be the most beautiful mother in the world. The most inspiring wife. The most challenging partner. And, I bet, the most passionate lover. These things made my pain all the greater because I would die and I would never get to be the man that you blessed. Instead, I would leave and for that reason, I only dared to touch your hand. Do you know why?” 

She was crying, her face the picture of shock. Her voice was breathy, “Why?” 

He pulled her closer to him and her breath hitched, “Because anything more than the touch of your hand would have made me fight to live so much harder that I would have only prolonged and made worse my fate. You are a woman worth walking in the valley of darkness for all eternity if it means that I may merely glimpse through the shadows the radiance of your light.” 

He took a deep breath. He was so close to her, “I love you, Jaffa. I love you.” 

She moved to try and kiss him but the door opened and they were interrupted, “Jaffa!” Zvi was upset and red in the face, “Jaffa! Come, come! It’s your ima!” He reached forward and pulled her with him through the door. Keita was left standing with his hands up. The area where her face had been was still there. 

He wished he had kissed her. 

He wanted to kiss her. 

Jaffa turned her head to glimpse him before she was torn away. 

Her heart swelled with both love for him and fear for her mother. 

She thought she finally understood what the writer meant when they said: 

__

_My beloved is white and ruddy, surrounded by myriads. His head is as the finest gold; his locks are curled, [they are as] black as a raven. His eyes are like doves beside rivulets of water, bathing in milk, fitly set. His jaws are like a bed of spice, growths of aromatic plants; his lips are [like] roses, dripping with flowing myrrh. His hands are [like] wheels of gold, set with chrysolite; his abdomen is [as] a block of ivory, overlaid with sapphires. His legs are [as] pillars of marble, founded upon sockets of fine gold, his appearance is like the Lebanon, chosen as the cedars. His palate is sweet, and he is altogether desirable; this is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem."_


	187. In this Twilight

_It’s being reported that outbreaks of MTs (mini titans) have now made it clear to some of the countries involved in the war that their efforts are going to waste. Thailand, Korea, Malaysia, and all South African countries currently engaged in their war with Russia, Ukraine, Georgia, Estonia, Lithuania, and Latvia have signed an armistice agreement._

_Still no word on Poland's supposed offer to return as a satellite state of Russia. Some are hailing it as a return to normalcy and others decry it as a new age USSR._

_There is an effort to contain the MTs and get them to PRCs (plague relief centers). A new vaccine has been developed by Dr. Nikko Ackermann and Dr. Mila Zacharias-Ackermann. They are the children of respected doctors Dr. levi Ackermann and Dr. Hanji Zoe-Dracul. They have expanded the plague vaccine to include more mutations._

_These recent calls for cease fires in key countries and the distribution of the vaccines to said countries is being seen as a miracle. No country has yet laid claim to the talks that led to this development but Japan has stayed very consistent financially despite all Asian countries, save for a few, being engaged in war with Russia._

_The bulk of the countries in the European Union have had to make hard choices. With more information coming in hourly about the coup in America, Germany has been vocal in its opposition to the status quo and have suspended trade until the turbulence is over. France, Italy, and Spain have ceased all communications after the diplomates from those countries were confirmed to have died in the bloody purge._

_The Reiss Affair is still gripping Europe including Poland. A spy, the famous artist Tuvia Smith, was recently executed for his supposed association with the Reiss family but information from reliable sources and prominent members of society cast doubt upon that._

_Many countries have stepped forward claiming that Tuvia Smith prevented wars, saved lives, and only tried to free the world from the Reiss’ grip. But, is this a real fear or just a conspiracy? Lately the world has been learning more and more about the involvement of this one influential family that has had it’s hands in society in every way. Is this the modern day Rothschild conspiracy but with a different name?_

_We bring you a few council members to speak on this topic while we keep you up to date on America and the current state of the 185 countries involved in what is considered the war to end all wars or as the cynics call it: armageddon._

* 

Judah was washing dishes after cleaning the apartment. Aviva was out with Gisela getting food and what not. Levi and Hanji were at the apartment looking at Keita’s dead body and everyone else was going about their business trying to process the fact that Tuvia was missing, the world was imploding, Keita was dead, and dekda Zadkiel was- 

Tears fell on the countertop as Uzi whined. 

Judah’s chest felt so tight and his heart hurt so badly. 

Zadkiel was his dedka and he is dead. 

He watched his dedka be shot. 

Now, Keita was dead. 

Judah had walked inside of the apartment when it happened and then turned to leave taking his sister and wife with him. He couldn’t handle it anymore and returned to the apartment where Uzi comforted him and he could lose himself in cleaning. 

Judah’s plan was to not think about anything other than his wide, Gaia, and new baby. 

He missed Zev, though. 

_Fuck, I really miss him._

He closed his eyes and cried. 

He cried and cried. 

Judah was tender hearted and this had broke him. 

He worried something would happen next to Zev, then Gisela, and then Aviva and his children. 

He finished the dishes, put the cleaning supplies up, and jumped into the shower for a few minutes. When he got out, he wanted to collapse in his bed but instead he decided to do a load of laundry first. 

He snagged one of Zev’s shirts feeling embarrassed but not caring as he pulled it on. He smelled him and it soothed his soul. 

Gisela always spoke of his scent and how his arms had magical abilities to keep even the most persistent demons away. Maybe there was something to him? 

He kept folding the laundry till he heard the door open to the room, “Is my wife home?’ 

Judah immediately relaxed hearing his voice, ‘No, she’s out with Aviva and Gaia distracting themselves.” 

Zev hummed. He looked around the room and smirked to himself, “Sooooo, only my husband is here.” 

Judah turned to give a disgusted look, “We’re not married.” 

Zev took a defiant step forward, “Well, we can have some sort of ceremony.” 

Judah stepped back, “Shut up and let me fold.” 

“You like to wear the clothes before you fold? Wait, that’s a dirty shirt. I’ve wore that a few nights in a row. Doesn’t that just _disgust_ you?” 

He moved up to Judah, pushing him against the washing machine. His hands were on his hips as he leaned down next to his ear, “Come on, Judah, admit it. You want me. You crave me.” Judah felt himself blush before turning his head. He didn’t know what to say. 

_Yeah, I do. But, I don’t know why._

He swallowed and Zev enjoyed every second of his silent turmoil. 

“You know, I’m not vanilia like you thought I was. Gisela mentioned that you’d said that one day. I have a certain” he paused, “ _kink_ that you just stir up in me. I want to play with you in a way I can’t with your sister.” 

Judah tried to slip away but Zev merely caught him, picking him up and placing him on top of the table where he was folding. He took his chin in his hand and made eye contact, “Don’t fight me, Judah. Let me worship you.” 

He brought him into a blistering kiss. Judah whimpered softly against his lips as Zev manhandled him. He wrapped his arms around his neck, shaking. 

Zev pulled back, “I don’t want you to shake unless it’s from want.” 

Judah didn’t know how to respond. He was just unsure what to do in this situation. He was used to leading and being in control. Aviva only sometimes flipped the tables and while he enjoyed it, he didn’t feel like he did with Zev. 

Even when Aviva dominated he still wanted to be strong for her. It would make him feel weak if he didn’t fight her or challenge her. He was also letting her win most of the time because if he truly wanted to dominate her he could. She had to know that as well. 

But, with Zev he felt like he was at his mercy. 

Zev’s lips covered his again and his tongue forced it’s way back inside where it roamed and teased. 

Judah was hot and bothered. His cock ached and his hips grinded against Zev’s. Zev’s hands slid under his shirt to stroke his nipples and feel every inch of his soft tatted skin. He wanted to lavish Judah with all he could. His eyes were full of desire when he pulled back and moved down. 

Judah watched, face flushed, and panting as Zev slowly kissed up the center of his stomach and then bent down to kiss his knees and slowly the inside of his thighs before gently tugging the band of his briefs down to reveal Judah’s hardness. Judah gasped as Zev nuzzled his face against it and at the base where he began to lightly suckle his balls. 

He opened his mouth against the sides, sliding up and down. 

He covered the head, suckling on the glands. 

When he started to bob, with deliberate sucks and stern thigh kneading, Judah gasped and bucked. He covered his face with his left hand feeling exposed on the washer counter in a room anyone could enter. He tugged at the bottom of the shirt as Zev continued to try and lift it up. 

Judah’s soft sighs and rare moans made Zev hotter and more determined to bring him to climax this time. 

He pulled Judah forward by his hips, catching him off guard. 

After more attention and teasing, Judah came hard in his mouth. 

He sucked him dry, taking it all in. 

Judah kept his face covered, red and shy. 

Zev stood and Judah slid off the counter heading to his room. When Zev followed, he was leaving the bathroom. Judah had wiped his face with ice cold water trying to hide the blush that persisted. Zev’s arms wrapped around him, “No, sweet boy. I didn’t say you could go yet.” 

He picked him up and dropped him on the bed spooning him from behind. Zev’s nose buried itself in his neck and his sex pressed into him. 

Judah was nervous of what was to come. 

“Don’t worry, sweet boy. I don’t think you’re ready.” 

Judah pouted. 

_You don’t have to say it like that, bastard._

Zev continued to leave soft kisses on his neck as Judah relaxed. 

“Keita being alive makes things easier but I’m worried about Tuvia.” 

Judah’s entire body jerked, “He’s alive!?” 

He turned over in Zev’s arms. Zev blinked, “Yeah, I gave him my serum. We feel asleep and then Levi woke us up. I guess since you had left, you didn’t hear. Shit, that means Gigi and Aviva don’t know.” Zev took his phone out and sent them each messages. 

Judah moved closer to him, tears in his eyes. He pushed his face against his chest, “Thank you for telling me.” His voice was soft. It wasn’t always the case with Judah who was often harsh. Zev kissed him softly, delicately. He rolled him on his back, hovering over him. Zev’s hand moved his hair out of his face, “You know I love you, right?” 

Judah looked guarded. 

Zev thought he’d ruined it with such a pointed question but suddenly, there was a small opening, “Yes. I love you, too.” 

Zev grinned brightly before dipping down to kiss him more. 

They stayed like that for a long time till Zev brought Tuvia up again, “I wonder where he is. Bianca is...sedated.” 

“I think that’s best. If Gisela was missing or Aviva….oh God, if Aviva was missing…” 

He looked truly scared, “How close is she to home?” Judah’s arm went behind him looking for his phone on the bed somewhere. Zev grabbed his arm, “Judah, relax. She is fine.” 

“How can you say that?!” 

“Because, if I didn’t I’d be insane. You think it’s easy for me to let Gisela out and about and not put her in a safe place somewhere the world can’t get to her?” He kissed him, “And you and my sister are a great source of worry as well. I barely stay alive with all the anxiety. What if someone comes onto Aviva and you get in a fight and you’re hurt? What if Aviva is hurt just doing her daily routine? What if Gaia is hurt just doing her daily routine?” 

Judah glared, “Why was I actively fighting and bringing the harm on myself?’ 

Zev grinned, “Please don’t act like that was a stretch.” 

Judah soured quickly. Knowing this, Zev decided to kiss him again and wrap him tightly in the covers. He felt his heart flutter as Judah resisted less and less. He wanted for him to one be open like aba was with daddy. 

He’d just have to beat him down like daddy did aba. 

The door to the apartment started to open. Judah pushed himself away from Zev quickly, nearly tumbling in the floor. Zev pouted, “That hurts my feelings hardcore, Jude.” 

Aviva entered, “Hey!” Gaia was in her arms asleep being jostled by her mother. She went to Judah, placing Gaia on the bed before jumping on top of him on the floor, ‘He’s alive!” 

He jerked to catch her, “DON’T JUMP! DON’T FALL!” 

He sat up with her in his lap, his hand resting on her stomach. Zev crawled to the edge, “I see your hand there went to her womb.” His face was the picture of shit eating. Gisela appeared behind him as if by magic, “I KNEW IT!” 

Aviva smiled at her, “Sorry, I needed prenatals and iron tablets. I don’t want to be anemic again. _Someone_ would never let me hear the end of it.” She looked back at him. Gisela picked Gaia up as Judah and Aviva made out NC-17 style, “Um, I think Gaia is underage for this film.” 

Zev went with her into the nursery to put her to sleep. 

Gisela leaned over her crib, stroking her curls, “She looks like Judah and it makes me so happy.” Zev kissed the side of her head, “You’re so beautiful.” 

Gisela was crying, “One day, we’ll have a baby, okay? Just not now.” 

He brought her into his arms, “Gisela, my love, that’s fine. As long as I have you, I have the world. You are enough and we’ve always got the two sex crazed procreators in there that will provide us with children for years to come.” 

She kept crying, “He’s alive.” 

Zev held her to him, ‘I know.” 

She kissed his neck, “Your serum saved him, didn’t it?” 

He made an affirmative sound. 

She pulled him into a short kiss, “Then I hope we can put it behind us. I’m so tired of being sad, Zev. I just want to find Tuvia and sit shiva for Zadkiel the way we should.” 

Zev picked her up in his arms, “All I want are those things, too. I also just want to hold you, katzchen. I am so afraid you will disappear one day.” 

She wiped his face, “Call him. Ask him what’s happening.” 

Zev sighed, “I already tried but he thinks the line is being recorded.” 

* 

* 

* 

Jaffa and Zvi arrived at the hospital sweating all over. There was a knot in their stomachs and a sense of dread that was wordless. Jaffa wanted to know if her mother was okay but her father’s peculiar actions set her even more on edge. 

Jean was outside of the room with a bag in his arms. 

Zvi put Jaffa behind him, “Mr. Kirschstein?” 

Jean looked up, tears in his eyes, “I'm sorry.” It was raspy and thick. She felt herself give up. Jaffa collapsed on the floor but her father couldn’t accept it without seeing it with his own eyes. 

Zvi held Annie’s lifeless body against him and wept while the doctors and nurses gave him space. 

Jean and Jaffa sat outside of the room in the floor of the hallway watching the nurses hurry back and forth to other patients. She sobbed without end until her father appeared, “Jaffa, do you want to see your mother?” 

She stood shakily and made her way into the room. 

Zvi looked at Jean, “What happened?” He told him everything. 

“Zvi, this bag, she wanted it on her person and not in the apartment.” 

Zvi opened it and took a passing look at the things with his name on it. He closed it and thought about, “My wife was a very clever woman and a woman of principles. She would not have given her life up so easily especially with Jaffa’s still at stake. We will go to the apartment and we will find the source of my Analia’s pain.” 

He stood and Jean followed but much less confident, “Your daughter.” Zvi turned on his heels, “Is in danger and going back to the apartment may be putting her in more!” Jean looked at her and thought about a solution, “Okay, I’ll call one of my boys to come. I’m sure they’re all still upset about Keita.” 

“Oh, Keita lives.” 

Jean felt immediately relieved, “Really?” 

“I’ll tell you on the way. Until then, do what you were doing and come along.” 

Jean called Giovanni and asked him to come to be with Jaffa. 

* 

Inside of the apartment, Zvi looked around but found so signs of forced entry and nothing was out of place save for two coffee cups. He saw the blinking light on the google home device they had. It was right next to door in their bedroom. Annie must have pressed it to record. 

Jean saw him push a button on it, “Why?” 

Zvi smiled, “Because she knew it’d make the whole house a microphone.” 

They played the recording. 

* 

Gio arrived a few minutes after they left. He’d been in the neighborhood skyping with Europa. She and her parents were on their way for the Shiva. He couldn’t wait to see her. 

If there was one thing he hated, it was sadness. 

Jaffa looked lost and not at all like the strong person she normally was. 

He went inside and took her in his arms for a hug. 

He removed his jacket and covered her. She told him Keita was alive and he said his brother had told him. They went out to the street and hailed a taxi. It was a late thought but Gio knew she loved him, “I hope you two find peace and happiness together.” 

She looked out the window of the taxi with a blank expression, “They will kill me. I am a monster.” 

Gio didn’t believe that, “Have you heard the news?” 

She looked at him, “No.” 

He turned on the radio and she listened. 

When they arrived, he rushed her up the stairs since she was still weak. 

Jaffa had a suspicion that she now nervously spoke to Gio about. Gio listened attentively. She thought of how sweet he was to be going along with a grief stricken mad woman like herself taking stairs three at a time. He didn’t laugh at her thoughts. This was the stock of the this family. Nothing was ever dismissed as not possible. 

She opened the door, hearing the end of her mother’s voice. Her survey of the room noted the cups, “Aba, have you seen these cups?” Zvi nodded, “He was here.” 

She picked it up with the handle of a pencil, “You didn’t drink did you?” 

He shook his head, “Of course not.” 

“Can you play it again?’ 

He had been crying, “Sure.” 

Jean and Gio exchanged glances, “Papa, what’s in the bag?” 

Jean snorted, “You wait till we’re somewhere truly safe. I’m not letting the bag go for nothing.” Gio smiled, “Papa, you’re a man of principle for sure.” 

Jaffa went to the cupboard and looked around inside. Zvi came over, “What is it, Jaffa?” She pulled out a tin that looked like sugar, “You never ever saw ima use this, right?” 

“She said not to use it.” 

‘Right, because it’s a nerve agent. Slow acting. We have the antidote in the house but….If she ever took it she’d never intend to use the antidote.” 

Jaffa placed her finger tip on the rim of both and examined them, “She poisoned Zeke, too. I think ima took it to ensure that if he couldn’t control her, she'd die and not be able to carry out orders. His threat to control her must have scared her into thinking suicide from the balcony was the only way. She poisoned him as a last ditch attempt to help us. When was the recording?” 

He told her the time and she started thinking, “I have to call Keita.” 

She dialed his number. 

He picked up immediately, “ _Jaffa!?_ ” 

She closed her eyes, focused on breathing, “My ima poisoned Zeke. He is somewhere in the city. My ima is dead and I want him caught. He is the reason she is, Keita. Please, please tell the PM to be on the lookout.” 

Keita cursed, “Jaffa, someone broke into LM8.” 

“It was him. He knew we took Reiner.” 

She heard him shuffling, ‘Your ima...Come home, Jaffa. We’re on it. Just come home, please.” 

She hung up and Zvi sat down on the couch, “We’ll need to prepare for shiva. I have plots, baruch HaShem….” He trailed off thinking of his life without his wife. Jaffa’s heart hurt, “Keita says that they’re working on it but… I’m going to try and find him.” 

She turned to Jean, “Keep my mother’s bag. Give it to Keita if something happens to us.” 

Zvi stood, “Good thing you said us. I’m going with you.” 

Jean didn’t think it was a good idea nor did Gio but father and daughter were soon out the door. 

* 

* 

* 

Since Bertolt’s death, Reiner had refused food or water. He wanted to die, too. Never before had he been so defeated. His entire life revolved around Bertolt. 

Find Bertolt. 

Help Bertolt. 

Love Bertolt. 

Protect Bertolt. 

He failed in every life. 

In one past life he had been in the camps with Armin. It had been horrible and all his fault. If only they had been more careful in their planning to run away from the Reiss family and not been caught. 

They consistently fought over staying or going. 

It was in there blood to serve but it was also in their blood to destroy. 

Reiner just wanted to die and it all be over. 

He heard his guards change for their next shift. Soon he’d have food brought to him that he wouldn’t eat. Maybe an investigator would come. It wasn’t too bad yet since it’d only been two days. However, the lack of water was starting to make him uncomfortable now. 

“My condolences.” 

Zeke was covered in blood. He seemed tired and older than normal. Reiner was surprised, “How did you know?” 

“Bertolt.” 

“Oh….I see.” 

“Come on. We have a helicopter waiting.” 

Reiner stood and Zeke used a thumb from one of the guards to open the door. When they were outside, they changed and used cards from other workers to get by, holding them up before asked as a sign of familiarity. No one really cared since it such a secure place. 

Reiner’s inner turmoil continued to grow as they made their way towards the car. Zeke had hot wired it and stolen it during the chaos of Annie’s suicide. The more he filled Reiner in on, the more Reiner started to grow angry. 

He suddenly felt fatigued and tired, “Reiner, I need you to drive. I’m suffering from trauma and I’m shutting down.” 

Reiner paused, taking the keys from him, “What could have been so traumatic?” 

“Annie committed suicide.” 

That was it for Reiner, “Okay. I’ll drive.” 

He took a route that Zeke wouldn’t have, “Is this really a good choice?” 

“Yes, it’s very fast.” 

“Reiner, we really need to hurry.” 

“I am but not in a way that draw attention.” 

“I don’t feel well.” Zeke was thirsty, tired, he ached, and was lightheaded. He tried to clutch his arm but his fingers were slow. 

“Who is waiting for us?” Reiner said it almost absent mindedly. 

“Homer, Alex, and the others.” 

Reiner heard the siren from the police. They passed cars, bobbing and weaving. Reiner was a great driver and focused. He felt them closing in as they approached. He took another route to throw them off on their final destination. 

Zeke was looking worse and worse. 

He wondered if he’d die? 

_Annie, I bet you did this._

His heart ached for her and for Jaffa. She may have turned on him but he was sure it was only because she didn’t have the full story. It was a complicated world they lived in and things were never as they seemed. She had to make choices to survive and if he was being honest, she may have feelings for Keita Lavie. He’d always been a handsome and serious boy. That matched well with what she always seemed to crave. 

Reiner saw his opportunity and took it. 

He slammed the car into the concrete guardrail. Maybe, if Zeke was trapped in the car, it wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Maybe, he could die in this accident? He wasn’t so lucky. Both got out eventually and ran for the airfield, jumping fences, and avoided razor wire. Reiner noted that Zeke was barely able to run in a straight line. He thought about it more. 

_Annie liked her poison._

He smirked to himself. 

There was a gunshot. 

He turned and saw Jaffa and Zvi on the hill running after them. 

She shot again and Reiner’s body filled with pain. She’d hit him in the back and barely avoided killing him. Another shot ran out and he was thankful it missed. Zeke was clipped but it was Zvi that did that. 

Reiner was almost the helicopter. It’s doors open and welcoming. 

Zeke was heaving as he ran. He was close to vomiting. Reiner grit his teeth and redoubled his attempt to get there first. 

“Stop! Reiner! Zeke!” 

Jaffa’s face was like a warrior. 

She shot Zeke in the leg this time. Only missing because she tripped. 

Zvi was gaining on them. 

Reiner took his chance and _accidentally_ tripped Zeke. 

Reiner _didn’t notice_ him fall, groaning and clutching his own wounds as he jumped inside of the helicopter. He slammed on the ground knowing that if he played it right, they’d never question how wounded he was or had thought he was. 

Zeke scraped his face on the pavement. His glasses were broken. He looked up and then felt a strong kick to his face and body. Zvi was wailing on him, beating him senseless. There was a moment where something started to burn and his body convulsed. 

Alex came out of the helicopter. He was one of Zeke’s right hand men. His knife was ready and slashed into Zvi. There was a struggle for life and death happening. Jaffa came to her father’s aid but another man was there and ready. He slashed at her as well. 

The fight was bitter and well matched. 

Somehow, Zeke was pulled into the helicopter. They started it up, the blades dangerously slashing above them. Jaffa and her opponent were now down to hand to hand. She was known for her abilities but this man was well rested, fed, and not suffering from a sadness of the soul like she was. 

Their back up appeared and the moments slipped by and became more tense. 

Suddenly, there was a hit to the back of her head. 

She fell, unable to move. 

It wasn’t long before the world went black and Zeke got away. 

* 

Keita already had files started on where they were heading. Troops were preparing to head to the cities that had been named as their headquarters and hosts. Eren’s need to take down Zeke made him the first volunteer but Keita told him no. 

“Are you telling me no?” 

Eren’s face was shocked. Keita nodded, “Yes! We have shivas to sit and you don’t need to go there yet.” 

“Keita! I do what I want!” 

Levi’s eyes narrowed, “Says the brat handcuffed to me.” 

Levi was on Eren alert and had taken great lengths to ensure he didn’t run away and straight into trouble’s arms. 

Armin and Erwin were combing over the incoming information about Tuvia. They still had no idea where he was or what he was doing or if he was _alive._

Keita paused for a moment, “Oh, Bianca is entitled to child support from us. I should start the claim and Jaffa can file it.” 

Armin and Erwin’s eyes brightened slightly. They’d been so glazed over lately, “What?” 

Keita looked up from his paperwork, ‘Well, when I died dedka spoke to me.” 

Erwin moved forward to the edge of his seat, “Wait, what? My father spoke to you?” 

Keita explained it all in detail. 

Armin stood up, “She might be pregnant?” 

Keita nodded, “Maybe.” 

Erwin took his hand, “But, she had that problem with her uterus like Lore.” 

Armin sat back down, “She did.” 

David and Mikasa were also there. Mostly, they were just watching their son so he didn’t push himself. Mikasa cleared her throat, “Have we any more news about Annie?” 

It was a quiet question. 

Keita inhaled, “She’s going to be buried tomorrow morning...” He was choked up. 

She nodded, “Okay.” She looked at David who held her hand supportively. She had missed her so much and was so happy that she had found love and had such an amazing daughter and husband. Zvi was a man of honor. Ilya and Maxim had sung his praises. He was of Ilya’s tribe. Therefore, he was likable to all. 

“I had another thought.” Mikasa looked at Levi and Eren, “The recent spat of geopolitical good luck. Doesn’t it seem like Tuvia may be behind it? Alexi has been pulled away talking to people in Russia with Bellamy. I think they may have an idea.” 

Levi agreed but it was odd, “Would they keep it from us?” 

Eren followed up, “They may not know he is but that just someone is .” 

Armin started to come alive, “Do you think he’s in the tribes?” 

Erwin stood, “Let’s start calling.” 

They left and Eren pouted, “I wanna go.” 

Levi rolled his eyes, “No.” 

There was a call on Keita’s private line. He was nervous to answer but David gave him a reassuring look. Keita picked it up on the second ring, “Hello?” 

He stood up, “I’ll be right there.” 

David stood up too, “What has happened?” 

“Jaffa and Zvi.” 

Mikasa stayed seated, “Just go, David.” 

They left Mikasa alone with Eren and Levi. She took a deep breath, “I want to go home.” 

Levi nodded, “I do, too.” 

Eren leaned on Levi, “Me, too.” 

She got up, “I’ll make coffee, food, and everything else. But, not to be mean, please leave. Go home and be with your kids. I just need the house to be quiet and clean.” 

Levi snorted and followed her out into the livingroom, “OK, brats, Mikasa needs peace so if you’re with us come back home and if you’re not, go the actual fuck back to your own home.” Everyone started to break away except for Lore and Yoni. They had Tovia and were content to just be in their room and rest. 

Mikasa started cleaning and cried for Annie Leonhardt. 

* 

* 

* 

Jaffa woke up in Keita’s room in his bed. It was clean, soft, and familiar. She groaned, head fuzzy from sedation. They had her on so many drugs it wasn’t funny. Her body was bruised and her wounds from the previous fights were healing slowly. 

They wanted to use the serum on her but the doctor said they should wait. She’d had a shot for a bacterial infection that they didn’t like to mix with the serum to save the patient from discomfort. 

She didn’t give a shit if she ever got it. 

Her pain would remain for the rest of her life. 

Levi entered, the syringe in his hand, “Jaffa, I’m only here to give you this and then I’ll leave. It’s day three of the shivas. Keita will bring you something to eat and you should eat it. If you don’t, I’ll get mean.” 

She whined as he injected her. 

He felt awful. Jaffa lost two parents on the same day and still had an uncertain fate of her own. The fight over her would only become more heated. Eren was already on the fence about letting her live and he liked her. She was his niece after all and Levi had pushed him to see her as a blessing for that fact. 

He heard the door open, “Jaffa?” 

Keita came inside with food, “Uncle Levi? Can I come in?” 

Jaffa heard Keita’s voice and rolled over to see him. His reaction made her uncomfortable. Levi nodded, “Of course, Keitaleh.” He hugged him as he made to leave. 

Keita sat down next to the bed with the food, “Our roles are reversed and I wish they were not.” 

He watched as she healed. 

Jaffa cleared her throat, “I’m not dying, though. It’s definitely different.” 

He reached out to touch her face, “You were so beat up, I thought you were dead, too. You know, I'm over this. All of this. Would you like to run away with me?” 

She gave an incredulous look, “What nonsense is that? You never shy away from work.” She lifted her head and ate a few bites of food, “Tell Levi I ate.” 

He was cracking, “But, if you wanted to run away…” 

She looked back at him, “You're going to do so much one day, Keita. You're alive and that's all that matters to me right now. Just let me be. My fate is still a mystery.” 

He crawled onto the bed with her, “But, I love you.” He said it like that explained everything. She touched his face, “My ima and aba are dead.” 

He took her hand and kissed it in a rare display of affection, “I know. Baruch dayan HaEmet. (Blessed is the True Judge)” He sat up pulling her into his arms and lap, “I will honor them for the rest of my life. I told your aba that I would protect you from harm and that you would never want for anything. I will not allow anyone to harm you, Jaffa. You will live to be old with great grandchildren. Your memory will be a blessing.” 

She had heard that her aba had lived long enough to pass on last words to Keita and David. She had been unconscious. 

Keita was so near and so warm as she laid against his chest in his lap. She remembered how they'd been so close to kissing that day. 

He stroked her hair, “I love you. Please, don't worry anymore. I will do anything for you.” 

She looked up at him, “I am a royal, Keita. I have to die. It wouldn't be in the best interest of your family that I live. I understand this. Maybe, your feelings will change when I am gone-" 

He kissed her and it was sweet like honey and fresh like crisp apples. 

He pulled back, breathy and flushed, “When I am near you, I am reminded of a psalm. It is one of my favorites:"

_As the deer craves the riverbank, so my soul craves you, God._

Keita was serious, “My souls yearns for you, Jaffa. Like a deer near the riverbank craves a drink of water. I crave you, yearn for you. I love you.” 

She kissed him, delicately exploring the act. 

She pulled back and he blushed. She smiled a little, “It's better in Hebrew but I get the jist.” He turned red and she knew he was unsure how to take the statement. “I love you, too.” 

His shoulders relaxed until she continued, “But is it wise when I am living on borrowed time? You yourself held off for the same reason.” 

He grimaced, “As long as I live, Jaffa, you will live.” 

Keita kissed her again, “I could kiss you forever.” 

Jaffa smirked, “My god, you’re so romantic. I never would have thought.” He blushed, “I’m sorry. I guess I just want to take advantage since I thought I’d never be able to do it.” 

He wiped a tear from her eye, “Don’t cry, please. It hurts me so much.” 

She did cry, “I miss them.” 

He held her till she fell back asleep. His heart belonged to her now and he’d do his best to avenge her parents. 

* 

Bellamy looked around the apartment, “Dad, where is Lilly and Alexi?” 

Marco was washing his hands before putting some more food out, “I’m not sure, Bell. Maybe you should go look?” 

Bellamy nodded and went to search for them. His phone started ringing, “Hello?” 

“Hey, so, I was pulled into the Russian embassy and I have to leave….now.” 

Alexi sounded stressed. Bellamy started running “I’m on my way but where is Lilly?” 

“Here. It’s...not going well.” 

He could hear her yelling, “I bet it isn’t.” 

Bellamy got to the embassy and was immediately accosted, “Mr. Kirschstein-Bodt, we would like you to accompany Alexi to Russia and serve as the liaison with Ukraine.” At first, he was hesitant but the man was Israeli and had the PM’s permission to be there. 

“I don’t know. We’re sitting shiva right now. Alexi’s dedka and mine has died and Tuvia may be dead, too. We need to finish shiva.” 

Lilly was crying, “That’s what I’ve been saying!” 

Alexi shuffled papers, “What is the goal?” 

“The goal,” the man turned on his heels, “is to encourage new leadership in the kremlin.” 

Alexi sighed, “I prefer our slight tampering with all aspects of daily life. We’re men with iron teeth, not politicians.” He started to smirk at Bellamy. Alexi had more pull than he thought. The man rolled his eyes, “Sit Shiva and come back here immediately after it’s done.” 

He turned to Bellamy, “And take that girl with you back home. I can’t handle her.” 

Alexi’s face contorted in anger, “Leave my sister alone. If she was a boy, you wouldn’t find her hard to handle.” 

She wiped her face again, “Maybe you should have just listened to me.” 

Bellamy and Alexi escorted Lilly out and onto the street. She was angry, “They want you to go and talk to the president of Russia in order to get him to end the war. How are you going to do that?” Aexi was thinking the same thing. 

“I’m not sure.” 

She stopped, “Do you know where Tuvia is?” 

Alexi shook his head, “I don’t. We merely planned for a signal. I received a report from our offices in Moscow and Siberia that Tuvia was dead and had left us instructions. They said to offer up talks between the sides with incentives of land and population exchanges, oil and gas, and vaccines. We’ve followed the report and we’ve successfully delivered files of Reiss crimes to their governments. The seeds of doubt are sprouting.” 

Lilly looked curious, “Doubt about what?” 

“About whether fighting is in anyone’s best interest. Are they just puppets? We’ve asked them to really think about it and see the talks as a non-violent way to reassess their national interests.” 

Bellamy heard Alexi’s words and thought of the Ukraine and his stomach clenched. The other smaller states were at a disadvantage as well. Lilly took his hand, pulling him from his thoughts, “Bell, you’ll take care of my brother?” 

Bellamy smiled, “Of course.” 

Bellamy and Lilly had been dancing around each other for a while but that had all changed when he stumbled into her university two years prior. 

She had been sitting at a fountain inside of the lobby with her boyfriend. Bellamy had stumbled across the marble floor, covered in soot and blood, before tripping and falling down on his knees before her. 

She’d stood in surprise, “Bell! Whose blood is that?!” 

He stood up, “No ones!” 

“Bell!” 

“Not mine, it doesn’t matter.” 

He’d been flushed and his words were jumbled. She turned to her boyfriend and told him she’d have to take him to the doctor. He understood. 

“What have you been doing?! Your dad and papa have called asking if Alexi and I have heard anything about you.” 

He looked at her, “They’re attacking civilians all over Ukraine.” 

She wiped the blood from his face, “I’m so sorry.” 

He sighed, “I love my life, Lilly. But, I just wonder about my birth parents and their world. I don’t wish I had them instead of my own and I know that’s not a popular opinion. I just want to know who I am and what I am.” 

She was living with Alexi in a bigger apartment than their two small studios. It was on the empty side. They’d sold things to make money when the rations became too lean. 

Bellamy heard Alexi come home. His keys were laid next to the door on a table. There was a moment where he looked from Bellamy to his sister. “Hello, stranger.” 

Bellamy stood, “I have support from Ukraine. The Reiss names are being compiled and we’re keeping track of who is coming and going.” 

Alexi was working with other Iron Teeth on a youth movement to try and achieve a dream. 

Lilly just wanted them to all be safe and achieve it peacefully. 

“Did you see my sister’s boyfriend?” Alexi’s voice was a beautiful blend between his tatti and papa. He also had a dash of Levi somehow and that made him often resemble Judah in humor. 

“She’s been wasting her time.” 

Lilly’s eyes narrowed in annoyance, “It’s not serious.” 

Bellamy looked surprised, “That was your boyfriend?” 

She nodded. 

“Oh, and he let you run off with a blood covered handsome Ukrainian? He’s shit.” 

She popped him and blushed. 

Bellamy and Alexi spoke further about their plans while she began dinner. It was a long night but a good one. 

At one point, she realized that she’d never called her boyfriend again and Bellamy was living with them while traveling. He brought her flowers from the side of the road and sometimes was able to bring her arrangements from the market. It was a harsh winter. 

Bellamy made sure her blanket was warm at night. He brought her coffee when she worked long hours. She always had a new book. But, best of all, they loved Beauty and the Beast and watched it often. She felt like Bellamy was not only her best friend but the perfect man for her. 

One evening, Alexi came home from practice with challah for shabbat. Bellamy wanted to have one but the siblings were less than enthused. “We’re not religious.” Alexi mumbled as he helped her cook. Alexi noted the small [ring](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/61/0e/ed/610eedcf799a6a799014e1348b3fcd94.jpg) on her hand he’d gotten her for her birthday, “That’s sweet.” 

She smiled, “He’s sweet.” 

Alexi bumped into her, “He’s a good man and he’s putting a lot on the line.” 

Lilly swallowed, “I know.” 

Alexi was very serious when it came to their goals, “But, just because he could die doesn’t mean you should guard your heart against him.” 

She was taken aback, “Alexi!” 

He smirked mischievously, “He treats you well and you are seamless together. You have similar goals and I’d rejoice in your union. I am forever a bachelor. I’ll live with you two forever and I’d be extremely happy about it.” 

Bellamy came in at that moment and she was glad for it. He handed her a giant giftwrapped box, “I got you something special.” She opened the box and squealed, “Oh, Bellamy! This is too much!” It was a beautiful fur [coat](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/0c/35/3f/0c353f4aabbe4a11df5304106af77293.jpg) from a store she passed every day. He handed Alexi something, “I didn’t forget you, my brother.” Alexi opened a small box to an iron mezuzah with red sapphire cross on it. He thought it was ornate and very attractive, “Is this a pin?” 

“A lapel pin, yes. It’s the symbol of us. Well, the cross is for your tribe. The mezuzah is a replica of your old one Maxim melted down.” 

Alexi felt Bellamy place papers in his hand, “We’ve got a draft, brother.” 

Aelxi unrolled it and Lilly poured some vodka, “Does this mean?” 

Bellamy smiled and took her coat placing it on her shoulders, “It’s the first step, Lilly. Soon, neither Russia nor Ukraine nor Siberia will be our home. There will be no more worry, no more fear that we will be landless.” 

She looked to Alexi, “But, the economy?!” 

Alexi smiled wickedly, “You need not worry. We have that secured.” 

“Who will lead?” 

“A collection of the new and the old.” 

She was excited but worried, “It will be a hard life for those formative years.” 

The tribes had spent much of their lives in the Siberian federation territory. However, a large group had migrated to an area of Ukraine closest to Russia and spread out from there. These two communities had worked in unison with one another, fluctuating in population due to the Reiss attacks. There was a great exodus that resulted in the depletion of Siberia after a crippling massacre. 

Now, for the last two hundred years, the tribes closest to Ukraine were the lifeblood of the Men with Iron Teeth. Mother Siberia was still spoke of, songs sung, and they often pilgrimage back to their old cities for remembrance. Their fathers had done well teaching them about their past. 

With the tribes constantly the target of ethnic cleansing and religious persecution, they craved peace and international rights. They craved a home for their people outside of Israel. They could not be buried outside of their land and it was a part of their responsibility to live there ever ready for the White King to call upon them. 

Even in peace they saw that as their crucial responsibility. 

They had a shaky shabbat but it was fun and full of emotion. 

Alexi’s phone went off later in the evening much to Bellamy’s displeasure. 

He smiled wickedly, “I gotta go for the night.” 

Bellamy frowned, “Why?” 

Alexi pulled on his coat smirking. Bellamy walked him to the door to lock it, “I’m getting laid.” 

Bellamy smirked, “Oh, okay. Why don’t you find a good girl and settle down? You think you have to be the Judah in the family now?’ 

Alexi took his face in his hands and kissed him, “Why don’t you take this opportunity to solidify your relationship with my sister. It’s been over a year. If you don’t do it tonight, I’ll stab you above the hip like a true Aristov. You dishonor her not making her your wife and this is you first and only warning.” 

Alexi was dead serious and Bellamy swallowed thickly before he let go. 

Good thing Bellamy was already on it. 

Bellamy cleaned up dinner before she could and they settled in on the couch in the new apartment they all shared. He put on Beauty and the Beast and she sat next to him. Bellamy and Lilly were truly at ease with one another. 

She had wondered if they were actually exclusive or just doing some sort of weird testing out. They’d not had sex and Alexi made sure they had the opportunity. It was a pure romance on her part. She wanted more but she also wanted a serious commitment. 

Bellamy paused the movie, “Can I tell you something?” 

She looked at him, “Yes.” 

“I told you I often try to find out more about where I come from and what I am. I am returning to Judaism more and I’m coming to terms with the fact I’ll never know everything about who my parents were. I will never know how I ended up in the orphanage but do you want to know what bothers me the most about that?” 

“What?” 

“I worry that I am a Reiss agent planted their to make my dad fall in love with me and I’m some sleeper agent that will rise up one day when someone says something like “tomato lemon” and then BAM.” 

She smirked a little, “I think it’d be in a secret language.” 

“It’s really likely.” 

“Not really, Bell.” 

“Why?” 

“Because your purpose is to do what you’re doing.” 

“Will you marry me one day, Lilly?” 

She took a second to process his words, “What?” 

“Will you marry me one day?” 

He had a [ring](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/e1/57/f8/e157f85b53c85b87d84a23e535b5bd9c.jpg) and held it out to her, “I can’t marry you right now because it’s too dangerous. It’d have to be a secret between us and Alexi.” 

“Has he threatened you?” 

“Of course, but I just worry that you could be in danger if someone found out. Obviously, I’m not interested in anyone else and I have a clean record if you want to check around. I promise I have only had eyes for you for years. That’s why I came like I did to your school.” 

She took the ring and held it between her fingers, “Explain.” 

“Well, someone had just tried to assassinate me. I killed him but it was so frightening and I really thought I was lost. The one thought I had was, “damn, I wish I could have at least kissed Lilly once in my life.” and then I asked HaShem to have mercy on me and let me live long enough to do so. I won, avoided the other hitmen, and made it to you. I don’t plan on looking HaShem in the eye on the day of judgement and not have you next to me.” 

She smiled, “I love this ring. You always get me red rings and I love them the most.” 

Bellamy smiled and his voice was sincere and full of love, “Because you are as sweet as a rose. I will love you till the last petal falls.” He felt like it was the corniest thing to say but she put the ring on. 

She smirked, “That was painful and corny.” 

“What do you say?” 

“Yes, now kiss me.” 

He kissed her on the couch while the snow fell outside and promise of a new land was on the horizon. 

Now, they were faced with the reality the world was a fruit and it was ripening. But, would they be too late to taste it before it soured? 

Bellamy and Alexi talked eagerly about the opportunities they may have when they went but Lilly just wanted them to both remain cautious. What they had been working on for these last few years would make them a target. 

But, the sooner they finished it, the sooner they could marry. 

She held Bellamy’s hand and smiled. They had kept their distance for so long in an attempt to not become too vulnerable. Bellamy was convinced he was going to be killed. That’s why he’d always tolerated Tuvia’s actions with his sister. 

It was just so obvious to him. Tuvia cared for Bianca and where Bellamy had decided to not mistreat his love and cherish their moments together, Tuvia had not. Lilly was sweet and smart. He felt like her pure radiance brought him out of even the deepest lows. Tuvia seemed to see his sister as burden. 

He tried not to think about it. 

He would become too angry if he did. 

Inside of the apartment for the Shiva, they found Maxim and Ilya taking things hard. Maxim’s incessant counting and recounting of the rosary got on everyone’s nerves but what could be done? Ilya merely held his hand and davened quietly while they sat on the floor. 

Keita and Jaffa sat on the floor next to one another. Her expressionless face made Bellamy want to cry. Gio and Europa quietly brought them blankets. 

Armin and Erwin were nervously waiting by the phone. 

The Prime Minister arrived and called Levi, Eren, Armin, and Erwin into another room. 

“South America is completely out now and all of South Africa. France has decided to become neutral like Switzerland.” 

Erwin was pissed off, “France?! France! They tucked tail and have decided to not play a role in war for greater humanity?!” 

Armin gasped, “No, wait!” 

He called Nikko and Mila in, explaining the situation. Nikko looked to Mila, “They want to take the nationalists down or-” 

“They will make them stronger.” Mila’s words spread fear among them all. “I think this is going to be the birth of the sixth republic. It’s best we leave them be. We know that the Reiss are purged from their land.” 

“I’ll call Judas and see if he still has friendly relations with people in the organization. Catherine may have ears to the ground still with the rabbi.” 

A report was brought in, “Someone has convinced some more North African countries to step back and close their borders to The Soldiers. In fact, a few towns have been invaded by Kurds and the Soldiers there killed. We think they have some sort of defense system up, though. It seems they’ll be shutting Iraq down and Iran. We have it on good intelligence that they’re now moving to take Iran and combine it with Iraq. In fact, that’s what we’re seeing with the movement of military in both countries.” 

The Prime Minister went white, “Are you saying that Iran and Iraq could become one country?” 

“They could occupy Iran and perhaps, form a new country. It’s not like any of these countries are stable. Syria would be easy to gather up in their plans as well.” 

She was worried, “I’m not sure what we should do.” 

In the other room, Bianca was pacing back and forth. Her body ached and her anxiety made every waking moment agony and every moment asleep just as bad. Marco took her hand, “Come here, my sweetheart.” He hugged her and kissed her head, “What’s the matter?” 

She pouted, “Aside from the obvious?” 

He nodded and hummed, “You look so ill, Bianca.” 

She wanted to tell him she was probably dying from a miscarriage. She’d been spotting and the heartbeat was faint when she went to the doctor. “Sometimes, I wonder what he was thinking. What would make Zadkiel their target. He said he was going to help. I don’t understand.” 

Marco thought about it, “I have a thought but….I don’t want to speak it till I know more.” 

She cried more, “He had some files that would be sent to Alexi in Russia. That’s all I know.” 

Alexi overheard and spoke, “It’s true. Tuvia sent me a package of information and told me to distribute it the way he wanted. I can only hope that it has had some sort of positive impact on the world.” 

There was a knock on the door. 

Jean got up but Ilya was up, “I’ll get it. Maybe it’s something good?” 

He opened the door to a crowd of people from the tribes. They entered and ducked their heads in respect. Maxim and Ilya were touched because it was a defiant act for them to have come. 

However, they were their tribes and not Daniel’s. 

No one from Daniel’s would come for just a funeral. If they had to leave, it would be for the ultimate fight. 

Bianca sat down with Maxim and he took her hand, “Do you want to pray with me?” 

She shook her head no. 

He kissed her hand, “When you were little, you would crawl into our bed and hide from dedka. He would come inside of our room and find you. It wasn’t hard because you were giggling.” 

Maxim smiled to himself, “It was hard when Hannes passed. It’s hard now that Zadkiel has also. He chose his death.” 

“How do you know that?” 

“I know this, because I know this. I know this and that you are also with child.” 

She flinched and he held her hand tighter, “I will say nothing, Bianca. I will say nothing.” 

“How do you know?” 

“You glow.” 

‘I look ill.” 

“And….glowy.” 

Ilya smiled, ‘I’ve noticed, too. We are here to help with anything you need. It would be our pleasure. Our kids are still unmarried and without children.” 

Jean brought her some water, “Please eat and drink, Bianca.” 

She took the water and the food he handed her, “I love you, Bianca.” 

She nodded, “I love you too, papa. I just really miss dedka and Tuvia.” 

The days went on and it was now the end of the shiva. 

Everyone was around the radio listening to the reporting on the new war between Iran and Iraq. It appeared to be just as they had feared. Relative calm had been restored to America through strict martial law outside of the ghettos. The ghettos themselves remained protected and stuck to the emergency plans Erwin had created with Armin. 

Levi made sure Maria was functioning on Erwin’s behalf and Eren ordered supplies for his practice. It was a sad seventh day. They wished the could just be restful as was mandated. 

Armin received a text from a bodyguard of the Prime Minister that two people had visited Zadkiel’s grave that seemed different from other mourners. 

He dismissed it but thought Armin might want to know. When he told Erwin, he said it was something to think about. It was almost lunch and Aviva was cooking with Gisela, Mila, and Lilly. Erwin pulled Armin into his lap and kissed him softly, “I’m so glad it’s you here, with me, at the end of the world.” 

Armin pulled him closer, his lips pressed against his. 

When he pulled back, he let out a woeful wail, “That Russian bastard left us.” 

Erwin started to sob, “I know, baby. He did and didn’t even say goodbye.” 

Armin’s cries were dreadful, “He was such a pain. He was such a meanie head.” 

Erwin nodded and his broken laugh was swallowed by gasps for air between sobs, “Yeah.” 

“And our baby boy. Our little boy who was just like his dumb ass!” 

Erwin’s forehead rested on Armin’s shoulder, a shudder rocking his large frame, “Our sweet boy. I loved that he was like my father. I just wish we could hold him again.” 

Their tears landed them on the floor of the office, legs and arms tangled around each other. Armin’s moan was animalistic. Their tears stung. Their frustration grew. Not knowing was worse than knowing. 

Erwin eventually picked them up and moved them to the couch where he pressed kisses against his throat. Erwin thought about his son’s fiery red hair and the way he could ride a horse. He thought about the pieces of Armin in his face and body. He thought about how he smelled as a baby and how Armin looked in the early morning feeding him. 

Armin would rock him on the back porch while Marco read the paper and drank coffee. Marco’s kisses made him giggle and Jean’s smile would quiet him till he tickled his toes and tummy. 

There was a yell in the livingroom and a commotion began. 

Jaffa’s sudden gasp caught Keita’s attention. He picked her up in his arms, her eyes glassy and strange. She clutched him, “It’s my mother’s sickness.” Keita couldn’t let the others know. He took her back to his room and prayed he knew what to do to soothe her. 

He thought about what had just happened and why now of all times her Reiss blood was betraying her. 

Erwin and Armin scrambled to their feet and went outside to the room where Bianca was currently screaming as a disheveled looking man in rags with dirty brown hair gripped her and Jean lunged at him. 

A cloaked figure stood near them and others backed away. 

Eren drew a knife and Levi’s hand was on his gun. 

What was happening here? 

Shots rang out on the streets and sirens blared for missiles. 

It was like the end of times. 

The man was wrestled into submission, “JAFFA! SHE’S CHANGING! SHE’S GOING TO KILL US!” 

The building shook. A rocket somehow got through. 

Armin turned the canister for handwashing over, pouring water into his hand. He went up to the man on the floor and wiped his face off. The grit was black and sooty. 

He scrubbed to see the face. 

David went into Keita’s room and saw Jaffa. She was convulsing, changing, and his son was right next to her in danger. 

She reached up, clawing at Keita’s exposed neck and screamed. 

David pulled out his gun and shot.


	188. Din Rodef

__

_”What is patriotism? Is it love of one's birthplace, the place of childhood's recollections and hopes, dreams and aspirations? Is it the place where, in childlike naïveté, we would watch the passing clouds, and wonder why we, too, could not float so swiftly? The place where we would count the milliard glittering stars, terror-stricken lest each one "an eye should be," piercing the very depths of our little souls?” Emma Goldstein_

* 

* 

* 

Levi had rushed into the bedroom to see Jaffa shot dead. However, David was now covering his son who was bleeding. Keita was near manic that her life had been threatened. He took her into the bathroom and locked the door, barricading it with the small furniture pieces inside. David was at a loss and begged him to come out and be treated. 

Levi prepared a sedative while Eren put his all rage into taking the door off it’s hinges. 

Eren entered the bathroom, face red and eyes shining, “Keita! She’s a Reiss! She’s a _titan!_ Look at her! Look at her right now writhing around, eyes glassy, limbs prepared to grab you and strangle the life from you! She has to die!” 

Keita and Eren struggled in the bathroom till Keita pulled a knife on his own uncle, “I won’t let you hurt her, Eren. You will not kill her just because of her blood and the _sins_ of her father!” 

It stung. 

Eren screamed, “THIS ISN’T YOUR CHOICE!” 

Keita watched as Eren vibrated, “She is a monster, Keita. She is the product of monstrous men.” 

Keita’s words were cold and cut deep, “And so are you but you don’t see us all trying to kill you for it.” 

Levi entered, “Let me sedate her.” 

He did so and checked her out. Her actions were so similar to plague victims but there was a moment of clarity in which she was clearly changed but awake. She looked into Levi’s eyes and he felt himself flashback to the original life. 

All those people had been changed against their will. 

They were all innocent. 

He looked at Keita, ‘Did you jump in front of a gun to protect her?” 

His words were classic monotone Levi. 

Keita nodded. 

Levi slapped him harshly. 

“You have come back from the edge of schol and you did something so reckless. I am disappointed in you, Keita. Go to your momma and tell her what you did. How could you do that your momma? How could you do that to everyone here who has kept you alive? The talmud says the preservation of life is above all else. You are my shame.” 

Keita grabbed Jaffa as Levi picked her up, “Please, don’t hurt her.” 

Levi was stern, “We will handle this the only way we can.” 

Keita didn’t know what would happen. He was scared, “How?” 

“A vote.” 

“A vote!” Keita started to weep, “If it was Eren, would you vote? If it was Eren, how would you feel Levi?” 

Levi couldn’t hold eye contact with him. 

He would never let Eren’s fate be decided by a vote. Even in the original life when he was on trial he’d intended all along on stepping in. There was just something about him. 

Jaffa was placed on one of the couches outside where they were all now gathered. She could barely keep her eyes open and the world felt like it was made of sand. 

Yellow sand… 

She closed her eyes and felt his hand on her thigh. He moved over so close to her she could smell his toothpaste. A drop had gotten on his shirt that morning but since the shiva was taking place he didn’t change it. He said vanity was not allowed at a time like this. 

He was right. There were other reasons why they covered the mirrors. 

Levi told Erwin what needed to be done and sat down. He didn’t want to be in charge and Erwin always picked up where he left off. Armin brought a plastic cup of water to Jaffa. Keita winced as Armin reached out and pinched his now wrapped shoulder. The serum hadn’t been administered yet, “You have really upset Levi and Eren. You made your father shoot you. Have you lost your mind?” 

Keita looked shamed, “I know but I couldn’t-” 

“You could have. We all have a choice in life. Sometimes, we have to lose our humanity to save it for others.” 

He looked at Jaffa, “This is hard for her. But this is, perhaps, harder for us after getting to know her for so long and seeing her take care of you the way she has. Annie is dead. She is no longer a threat and she gave her life up on her own terms. Zvi is dead. He was a good man with iron teeth and he took it upon himself to be her buffer and, if need be, her end. Do you understand what I’m telling you?” 

Keita didn’t at first and Erwin called the family meeting. 

Everyone else had been asked to leave and come back at the end of the day. 

“Thirty people will vote on what to do with Jaffa. Connie and Sasha have been asked to step in and take the place of Zadkiel and Zvi. They would have been asked to vote had we come to this before.” 

The man in rags stepped forward, “I have gone through hell to get back here.” Keita couldn’t believe his eyes. 

Tuvia was alive and standing there. His hair dyed and eyes changed but it was his voice for sure. The woman in the cloak still obscured her face and the fabric rustled beneath her. 

Keita’s eyes filled with tears, “Brother.” 

Tuvia’s face was grim, “She cannot live, Keita. I cannot let her live.” 

He cleared his throat, “Dedka appeared at my trial and did all he could to get me a fair one but I knew there must be something else to it. I was being led away to be shot and he was there. He took me in his arms and kissed me, saying that I had to come back. I had to come back to be a father. Dedka was wearing clothes like mine and the next thing I knew he was gone.” 

I was led away and Dedka’s things were given to me. I didn’t know what to do or why they’d take dedka over me.” 

And then they said it. He was the current King and Russia would pay for him to be sent back dead to know that he was gone. But, Poland wouldn’t release the body to them since it had to come back here. Henri worked endlessly on this deal after my case was confirmed a loss cause. Dedka had it all worked out. I could do nothing but pretend to be dead and do what I must.” 

I arranged for my files to be delivered through Alexi’s network. I made my way to Japan and stayed with the boy Lore used to date. He owns the pharmaceutical company there that helps us out and he also now owns hospitals that his wife inherited from her father. When it looked like things had calmed down, I returned to the tribes to find more of Dedka’s things he wanted me to get. A letter was sent to me from Henri detailing them.” 

When I was there, I learned about what had happened with Zvi. It’s crucial that we put Zeke into a corner. He has a lot of pull everywhere but if we can cut him off from key pieces then we can manipulate his actions. Letting Iran and Iraq become two states isn’t that horrible of an idea if we can divide them from the group in America and possibly destroy the link between them which is the Wall. Zev is the leader in waiting to it and I’m sure that’s what he and Gisela have been planning on doing the entire time.” 

Armin and Erwin’s heads were spinning, “Zev? You’re One Eye’s second?” 

Zev’s mouth felt dry and Gisela’s hand was on his leg, “He is. We’ve been working it for months. That’s how we got the list of all the Reiss family members alive. How did you know?” 

Tuvia nodded, “I have the tapes. I’ve known since you were here married to the girl. I’ve had the phone tapped at One Eye’s for years. Zeke wants to be his second. He thinks, I don’t know for sure but I really think so, that I am his second. For some reason, because I look like dedka they think I’m the king.” 

Jean thought about the tape, “Annie was told that, too.” Jean filled Tuvia in on the tapes and Zev pulled Gisela in his lap, “Obviously, this is all about Zeke’s plans to force One Eye out and consolidate power. Are you sure he’s loyal to the Reiss, Tuveleh?” 

Tuvia paused, thinking. He seeme to wonder about the true motives of Zeke, “I would say he is but then again, no one can be sure of anything. I thought you were pretty vanilla till I tapped a terror head’s phone, you know?” 

The more that they spoke about what had happened during his time with The Soldiers, the more time Jaffa had to come to her senses. She felt better, not as angry, but she had this urge for blood that made her both repulsed and satisfied. Keita turned to her and took her hand. She wanted to hurt him. 

_No._

The No came from somewhere outside of her mind. Was it Eren? 

Eren’s eyes were on here in seconds. There was a shifting of Connie and Sasha that made them all much more aware of her waking up. Sasha took Connie’s hand suddenly as Jaffa looked at her. Marco cleared his throat, pulling on his collar. Jean looked at him with worry, “Babe, what’s happening?” 

Connie spoke, “Jaffa, you realize you’re pushing your will on us, right?” 

She seemed to snap out of it, “No. I-I didn’t. I don’t.” 

Sasha believed her and it was enough for Mikasa to put her knife away. Eren felt her like a pulse. She was so threatening to him that he wanted this over, “We need to vote.” 

Jaffa looked around, “About what?’ 

Erwin stepped back up, “On your fate, Jaffa. We’ll vote on whether you’re going to be allowed to live or die. If you live, we’ll have more to decide. If it’s death, one of us will do it since we have passed the judgement.” 

She was caught off guard but she accepted it, “I understand. That’s fine.” 

Sasha turned to Connie to whisper, “That’s fine? Who is this girl?! She could die and she just accepts it?” Connie took her other hand in his, “Baby, it is what it is. She’s at least understanding. Would you rather her fight?” 

“Yes!” 

“Sasha, please! That would only upset everyone further!” 

“What if it was Europa?!” 

They thought about it for a second, “Jaffa?” 

Connie’s voice shook, “Why can you push your will on us?” 

Jaffa shrugged, “I’m not sure. I’m really not. Something has happened. Tuvia came back and it stirred something up and my mother's sickness now lives in me.” 

Her voice was strained. Sasha found her extremely sympathetic. Her next thought had her shaking. Connie nodded, “I think, we must have been titans in the original life at one point. I don’t know what happened to me and Sasha. I know we got really sick and we were captured. Marco may have been a titan because we never knew his story completely. He may have been eaten enough for spinal fluid. I suspect That Bianca and her brothers may have felt pressure, too?” 

Bianca shook her head no. Gio and Cesare both said no but Bellamy didn’t reply. Maxim and Ilya also noticed his stillness. Mila spoke, “I felt something.” 

Nikko’s reaction was expected. He couldn’t stand thinking his beautiful pregnant wife could be controlled and hurt. His entire body went stiff and his face was the mirror of Levi’s. Eren’s parent side was in overdrive, “Nikko, are you okay?” 

Nikko looked at his baba, ‘Not at all.” 

Erwin sighed, “Please, let’s get to the vote and then we can take it from there.” 

Levi looked at Eren, “Please stop.” 

Eren mumbled, “Stop what?” 

Levi popped him on the face, “Glaring at the girl.” 

Eren was pissed off, “She’s dangerous!” 

Levi held his gaze, “So are you.” 

First Keita and now Levi. He was seriously rethinking his family. ‘I hate you.” Eren grumbled as Levi put a pen and piece of paper in his hand, “Yeah, yeah. Brat.” 

Keita held the paper in his hands and looked at his sister. She was torn on what to do. Erwin spoke, “Please write on the paper “live” or “die.” Nothing else.” Armin gasped, “That’s so harsh!” He was really dreading this and Erwin knew it, “Baby, I’m sorry but I don’t know what else to say.” 

Jaffa leaned on Keita’s shoulder and pressed her face into it. He cast his vote by placing it in the container passed around. 

Erwin started counting the votes out loud while Armin kept a tally. Gaia started to cry. She had teeth coming in and they hurt her. Judah handed Aviva his vote and took her inside to get some cold cucumbers from the fridge. He almost couldn’t bear to see the pain on Keita’s face anymore. He kissed Gaia’s cheeks and looked at her adorable nose. 

“Daddy loves you.” 

Gaia laid her tear streaked face on his shoulder gnawing on the cucumber. He said it again and she looked at him almost exactly like Aviva did when she had truly had it with him, “PINK!” Her little wail stunned him momentarily until he burst into laughter. 

“Daddy needed that.” 

He rocked his little girl back and forth when Aviva came back inside, “I just can’t hear it.” 

She wiped Gaia’s nose and kissed Judah multiple times on the lips. He pulled her against him, whispering and promising, “I would never let anyone come between us.” 

She kissed him again, “Yehuda, you better _fuck them up_ if they try.” 

He kissed her again and moved his hand down to her stomach. She smiled, “A little Yehuda’s making me sick and tired.” 

He snorted, “It’s a girl.” 

She shook her head, “Nope. It’s a boy.” 

Judah had a distinct reaction to the thought of a son: 

_He didn’t want one._

“You know for sure?” 

She shook her head, “No, it’s too early and plus, we don’t do that.” 

“Who?” 

“Us. We’re Jewish, Judah. Damn. We won’t know till he comes out.” She smiled brightly as he rolled his eyes. 

Judah snorted, “Gaiaka, you’re getting a sister.” 

Aviva moved into his arms, “I love you.” 

He kissed the top of her head, “I love you, too.” 

He watched Erwin through the glass drop the last slip of paper. 

He closed his eyes, waiting to hear the result. 

Levi felt the air leave his body as he called the tally. Eren and the other’s looked grim. Keita felt like he might vomit. 

“Fifteen to Fifteen.” Armin grimaced. 

Tuvia spoke, “Jaffa has the ability to control titans and those who were once titans. This is a good quality when fighting Zeke if we could be assured that she was in fact, unswayable. However, she is his daughter. She may decide to join him like Historia joined her father. They think that the coordinate is split in two halves.” 

She nodded, “I know. They think that Reiner has half and Eren and Armin have split their half into quarters. But, I think my ima knew different. In the recording, she made a small noise I grew knowing was a sign of disbelief. My aba used to get onto her for being too loud.” 

Mikasa snorted a laugh, “Yeah, I know that sound.” 

Jaffa looked at Tuvia, “I know I am a danger...but I may be an asset as well. In our line of work,” she meant the Mossad and looked pointedly at Keita, “we’re used to handling difficult operatives. I would try to be the easiest operative to handle.” 

Tuvia sighed, “You’re nice but you can turn on us and we can’t exactly stop you.” 

“Even you?” She looked at Tuvia pointedly, “Did you feel me?” 

He had not. 

“No. I didn’t.” 

Gisela jumped on it, “Then we have proof that those of us with parts of the coordinate and blood are resistant to the pull of the original titan. We were never titans and that works in our favor, too.” 

Tuvia sighed, “But, it does not change the fact we have the ultimate weapon sitting in front of us and it can destroy our family members without us ever standing a chance at preventing it.” 

Gisela smirked, “I think Yoni should defend us. You’ve got prosecution covered.” 

Yoni crossed his arms, “True, brother. You cannot deny that she is useful. You know that we have limited options. We can keep her, kill her, or let her go.” 

Tuvia jumped, “LET HER GO?” 

Yoni nodded, “If we let her go, we are allowing this woman to autonomously decide what she will do and who she will work with. If we kill her, we end a life and must justify that taking of life. But, it’s murky. To kill someone not in self defense is almost unjustifiable. If she lives, we will want to control her for our own self interests and therefore, reject her autonomy. On what grounds do you wish to reject her autonomy and sacrifice her life?” 

Tuvia squared off with his older brother, “ _Din rodef._ ” 

It was the equivalent of dropping a bomb. 

Armin and Erwin perked up as Levi flinched. 

Yoni chewed the inside of his cheek, “Defense calls Judah Ackermann to the stand.” He smirked as Tuvia’s face fell. 

But then Tuvia rebounded, “Prosecution calls Nikko Ackermann.” 

Aviva rolled her eyes at the scene, “Yehuda doesn’t know shit. Why call him?” 

Judah looked at Nikko cautiously. Nikko stood by Tuvia, “I would like the record to state that I am most uncomfortable.” 

Cesare was sour, “This isn’t a real trial.” 

Ezra shrugged, “Real enough for it to be stated and shown in the record.” 

“It is my stance that the law of the pursuer, din rodef, apply to Jaffa and Nehemiah will argue that it does.” 

Nikko deadpanned, “I will?” 

Tuvia grit his teeth, ‘You will.” 

Yoni placed his hand on Judah’s shoulder, “And our kleiner Yehuda will argue that we should keep her alive because she does not meet the requirements of din rodef.” 

Nikko cleared his throat, “Should I start?” 

Keita spoke, “I think that this is pointless. It’s the Talmud and not everyone here has studied it. Our sisters sure haven’t.” 

Hannahlore and Gisela exchanged miffed looks. Aviva’s tone was biting, “Sanhedrin Babylonian Talmud tractate 73a and b. How would I know that if I had never studied?” 

Keita was unamused, “Whatever.” 

Nikko looked to Judah, “And these are the ones who are saved from transgressing even at the cost of their lives; that is to say, these people may be killed so that they do not perform a transgression: One who pursues another to kill him, or pursues a male to sodomize him, or pursues a betrothed young woman to rape her. But with regard to one who pursues an animal to sodomize it, or one who seeks to desecrate Shabbat, or one who is going to engage in idol worship, they are not saved at the cost of their lives. Rather, they are forewarned not to transgress, and if they proceed to transgress after having been forewarned, they are brought to trial, and if they are found guilty, they are executed.” 

Judah wet his lips, “The Sages taught in a baraita: From where is it derived that with regard to one who pursues another in order to kill him, the pursued party may be saved at the cost of the pursuer’s life? The verse states: “You shall not stand idly by the blood of another;” rather, you must save him from death. The Gemara asks: But does this verse really come to teach us this? This verse is required for that which is taught in a baraita: From where is it derived that one who sees another drowning in a river, or being dragged away by a wild animal, or being attacked by bandits, is obligated to save him? The Torah states: “You shall not stand idly by the blood of another.” The Gemara answers: Yes, it is indeed so that this verse relates to the obligation to save one whose life is in danger.” 

Aviva’s eyes widened. Who knew her Judah knew Talmud? Nikko seemed impressed as well. He spoke, “The Gemara asks again: But from where do we derive that one may be saved at the cost of the pursuer’s life? The Gemara answers: It is derived by means of an a fortiori inference from the halakha governing a betrothed young woman who was assaulted by a rapist: If in the case of a betrothed young woman, whom the rapist comes only to degrade, i.e., the result of the rape will be that her status is lowered, the Torah said that she may be saved even at the cost of the rapist’s life, then in the case of one who pursues another person to kill him, all the more so should one say that he may be saved even at the cost of the pursuer’s life.” 

Judah quipped back, “The Gemara asks: But does the court administer punishment based on an a fortiori inference? The Gemara answers: A Sage of the school of Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi taught: This halakha is also derived from an analogy based on a juxtaposition. How so? With regard to the rape of a betrothed young woman it is written: “But you shall do nothing to the young woman; the young woman has committed no sin worthy of death; for as when a man rises against his neighbor, and slays him, so too with this matter.” But why would the verse mention murder in this context? But what do we learn here from a murderer?” 

Judah’s voice picked up in pitch as he continued, “Now, the mention of murder came in order to teach a halakha about the betrothed young woman, and it turns out that, in addition, it derives a halakha from that case. The Torah juxtaposes the case of a murderer to the case of a betrothed young woman to indicate that just as in the case of a betrothed young woman one may save her at the cost of the rapist’s life, so too, in the case of a murderer, one may save the potential victim at the cost of the murderer’s life.” 

A small smirk played at the corner of Levi’s mouth as David smiled to himself. Even the seriousness of it all, they were proud of Judah’s religious learning. Nikko was on par with the most learned rabbis. Judah seemed to not have fallen asleep in his studies either. 

Nikko paused, picking at his sleeve, “The Gemara asks: And with regard to the betrothed young woman herself, from where do we derive that she may be saved at the cost of the rapist’s life? The Gemara explains: As it was taught in the school of Rabbi Yishmael: The verse states: “For he found her in the field, and the betrothed young woman cried out, and there was none to save her.” But if there was someone to save her, he must do so by any means that can save her, even by killing the potential rapist.” 

He continued, “Concerning the matter itself, it is taught in a baraita: From where is it derived that one who sees another drowning in a river, or being dragged away by a wild animal, or being attacked by bandits, is obligated to save him? The verse states: “You shall not stand idly by the blood of another”. The Gemara asks about this derivation: But is this really derived from here? It is derived from there, i.e., from a different verse, as it is taught: The Torah teaches that one must return lost property to its rightful owner. But from where is it derived that one must help his neighbor who may suffer the loss of his body or his health? The verse states: “And you shall restore it [vahashevato] to him [lo]”, which can also be read as: And you shall restore him [vehashevato] to him, i.e., saving his body. Consequently, there should be no need for the additional verse: “You shall not stand idly by the blood of another.”” 

Judah snorted, “The Gemara answers: If this halakha were derived only from there, I would say that this matter applies only to saving the person in danger by himself, i.e., that he himself must come to his neighbor’s rescue if he can, as is the halakha with regard to returning a lost item. But to trouble himself and hire workers for this purpose, one might say that he is not obligated, just as he is not obligated to hire workers to recover another’s lost item. Therefore, the verse “Do not stand by the blood of another” teaches us that he must even hire workers, and he transgresses a prohibition if he does not do so.” 

Judah took a step forward, “The Sages taught yet another baraita on the topic of a pursuer: One who pursues another to kill him; or pursues a male to sodomize him; or pursues a betrothed young woman to rape her; or pursues a woman who is forbidden to him by a prohibition, the violation of which renders him liable to receive a court-imposed death penalty; or pursues a woman who is forbidden to him by a prohibition, the violation of which renders him liable to receive karet, all these people are to be saved at the cost of the life of the transgressor. But with regard to a widow who is being pursued by a High Priest, or a divorcée, or a woman who has performed ḥalitza [ḥalutza] who is being pursued by an ordinary priest, they are not saved at the cost of the rapist’s life, because these unions are subject only to a mere prohibition.” 

Furthermore, if a sin had already been committed with the betrothed young woman, she is not saved at the cost of the rapist’s life. In addition, if there is one to save her, i.e., if there is another way to save the betrothed young woman that does not involve killing the rapist, she is not saved at the cost of his life. Rabbi Yehuda says: Also, if the betrothed young woman says to those who come to rescue her: Let the rapist be, she is saying this so that he should not kill her, and therefore the rapist is not killed.” 

The Gemara asks: From where are these matters derived? The Gemara answers: The verse states: “But you shall do nothing to the young woman [na’ara]; the young woman has committed no sin worthy of death”. The word is read as young woman, “na’ara,” but it is written as young man, na’ar. Na’ar, as it is written, this is an allusion to sodomy. “Na’ara,” as it is read, this is a betrothed young woman. “Sin”; these are women who are forbidden to him by a prohibition the violation of which renders him liable to receive karet. “Death”; these are women who are forbidden to him by a prohibition the violation of which renders him liable to receive a court-imposed death penalty.” 

The Gemara asks: Why do I need all these different cases? Why does it not suffice to offer one example from which all the others can be derived? The Gemara answers: These cases are all necessary, as had the Merciful One written only na’ar to teach the halakha with regard to sodomy, one might say that this victim alone is saved at the cost of his attacker’s life, because it is not his way to engage in intercourse with a man, and so he would suffer excessive embarrassment and pain were he not saved. But a young woman, whose natural way is to engage in intercourse with a man, one might say that her attacker may not be killed.” 

Nikko blinked just like Levi had done many times before, “And had the Merciful One wrote only “na’ara” to teach the halakha concerning a betrothed young woman, one might say that she alone is saved at the cost of her attacker’s life, because he degrades her by taking her virginity, and she will be cheapened in the eyes of her betrothed. But a young man, who is not similarly degraded, one might say that his attacker may not be killed.” 

Half the room had no idea what the fuck was going on and the other half was split. Some seemed hopeful and the others distraught. Keita covered his eyes while Jaffa looked away from them all. 

Jean spoke, “Okay, what the fuck did any of that mean or accomplish?” 

Judah spoke, “We are the one being pursued by Jaffa. She is the pursuer. We use the case of the girl and the boy and other cases to test our understanding of the ethics surrounding judicial killings. I argue that she does not meet the requirement for death. For, we can deter her.” 

Nikko sighed, “I argue she does. See, we are in a way defenseless to her and unable to assure ourselves that we could prevent her from killing us or degrading us by some other way. She has no equal.” 

Judah retorted, “When Solomon spoke to Joab about killing Ashmael, he said he could have deterred him!” 

Nikko wasn’t expecting that, “He was to shoot him in the fifth rib.” 

Judah nodded, “And we will do that to Jaffa.” 

Keita shifted, “What are you talking about?” 

Judah shrugged, “If we choose life, she will live and we will secure our safety. Is the potential threat that she could be our end justify judicial killing? She has done nothing to us to warrant it.” 

Nikko shook his head, “She has. She has led the wolves to us and set us on high alert in the directions she has chosen. She also just put her will on people in this very room. Her mother feared her biological father so much that she killed herself. That is the pull she has. A pull that would make a mother fear hurting her own child.” 

Keita swallowed, “Are we voting again or not?” 

Judah held Nikko’s gaze, “I see your point, brother. But, I also see her potential.” 

Nikko lowered his gaze to Judah’s feet, “You see a young woman who even in the most trying and despairing of times made candy for your beloved Gaia and played with her.” He looked back at him, “But, would you still feel the same fondness if she used one of our family members as a tool to kill her?” 

Levi and David stood, “That’s enough. The cases have been made.” 

David’s words were strong, “If you believe din rodef applies, vote your conscious. If you don’t, vote your conscious.” 

Paper was handed out again and the old strips burned in the fire pit outside. 

Levi looked at Jaffa as Keita took her hand again and kissed it. It was a display of affection that no one knew how to take. Keita simply didn’t do things like that. Mikasa had tears in her eyes. Levi was still standing taking it all in when he spoke. 

“Just, one more thing. You brats have certainly impressed me and David. We thought you were all sleeping or fucking around in Torah tots and religious school but apparently, you were learning how to argue like we did in our youth. Isn’t that right, David?” 

David smiled sweetly, “You are right, brother.” 

Levi’s smile faded, “But, you’re not perfect. No one is perfect. No one here has rav status…” 

David’s eyebrow raised, “That’s not true.” 

Nikko was excited, “Wait, who has rav status in the family?” 

David snorted, “My….HaShem. You’re father, Nikko. Levi achieved that status in his youth.” 

Eren smiled ear to ear, “I’ve been fucking a rabbi?” 

David corrected him, “A rav.” 

Eren was giddy, “I don’t care. I’ve been fucking a hot holy man. Hell yes, we’ve never even role played it.” 

Ezra gawked, “CAN YOU NOT?!” 

Eren pinched him, “Your aba is the LOVE of my LIFE! I’m obsessed with him!” 

Jaffa smiled and laughed a little. 

Eren seemed to immediately shut down. She frowned, her voice a shaky and apologetic whisper, “I’m sorry. It’s just so nice.” 

Ezra nodded, “Yeah, it is. Cesare isn’t that nice to me.” He smiled and Jaffa went back to looking at the floor. 

“What I was saying, if anyone even cares,” Levi looked around, “First of all, the law of the pursuer only applies to a spontaneous act, whereas this is a planned assassination on both parts. Secondly, the law of the pursuer is only intended to save a potential victim from imminent death. Take that as you will.” 

Hanji kissed Levi’s cheek as he sat back down, “You really know how to pep up the room.” 

Oskar nodded, “I agree.” 

There was the same tense silence as their votes were cast. Ilan slept in Cesare’s arms while Tovi drank from Lore’s breast. Keita whispered something to Jaffa and Gisela spoke through touches to Zev. Europa was so sad by it all and Gio tried to make her smile. Maxim and Ilya felt ill as they cast their votes. Only their children noticed. 

Eren looked at the paper in his hand. 

Armin looked at the paper in his hand. 

It was like everyone was looking and thinking about their previous choice. Judah and Nikko hoped they’d helped in some way. 

The votes were cast. 

Erwin began calling them out. 

Erwin paused, “There are only 29 pieces of paper.” 

Armin looked around, “Who didn’t turn their paper in?” 

No one spoke. 

Erwin sighed, “We vote again. I will _personally_ make sure you all put your paper in.” 

It began again. 

David noticed Mikasa move her hand behind her back to scratch under her shirt. 

She looked at Eren. 

They all cast their votes again. 

“Fifteen to Fifteen.” 

Erwin sighed, “Okay, let’s make the pool smaller.” 

Keita glared, “That isn’t fair.” 

“It should come down to us all but we seem to be split. Mikasa, Eren, Armin, Levi, Hanji, myself, Jean, Sasha, Connie, and Marco. We will vote.” 

Keita got up, “That isn’t fair!” 

Bianca spoke, “It is. They were in the original life.” 

Maxim and Ilya sighed. They looked at one another, “This is true, Keita.” 

Alexi got up, “Maybe, we should take a recess.” 

He got his cigarettes and went into one of the bed rooms in order to reach a window. The person who brought Tuvia was there. They had their cloak off and a small person moved to hide. They stood up suddenly and Alexi swallowed. 

He stared at the girl. 

His knees were weak. 

Alexi left the room and went to the street to smoke thinking about her and all the things he didn’t say. 

When he returned he went back to the room. Maxim noticed his son’s odd behavior and looked at Ilya, “He’s off.” 

Ilya nicked his chin towards the door and they went to see what was happening. 

They opened the door and saw Alexi nervously talking to a surprising friend, “Dinah?” 

She turned, smiling, “Ilya. Maxim.” 

A girl, barely two, held onto her leg with a boy who was also familiar standing nearby. 

Ilya whistled, “Are these yours?” 

She nodded and Alexi turned pink, ‘Oh, you’re their mother?” 

“Yes.” 

“Are you married?” 

Alexi blurted the words out and Maxim felt embarrassed for him. 

She shook her head, “Not anymore. Their father is dead.” 

Ilya looked surprised, “I had no idea, Dinah. Who was he?” 

She didn’t answer with a name, “It doesn’t matter, does it?” 

Ilya nodded, “You’re right. It doesn’t.” 

Maxim looked at the boy, “I know you’ll be happy to see someone out there, Shalem. I’m surprised you’ve come. Your mother hasn’t been able to be your mother for a while, right?” 

The boy nodded, “I didn’t want to be with them anymore.” 

Ilya frowned, “We never okayed that.” 

The boy nodded, “I know. It was my father’s way. It’s the way of their house.” 

Dinah sat back down, “We’ve given up a lot coming here.” 

“I know this.” Maxim sat down, “Why?” 

“Because, we want to help if we can and we want to live in America with you. We want to be a part of the new tribe.” 

Maxim shifted, “The new tribe? I didn’t know there was one.” 

“Whatever you want to call it, Maxim. I want to be a part of it.” 

Dinah picked her daughter up, “Tuvia said we could come. We actually helped him get Zad’s things from the tribes. I cannot go back.” 

Ilya kissed her cheeks and her daughter’s, “Dinah, you are of my house. Look at your eyes! My blood is your blood. We will not turn you out. You can stay here till we find a place for you in Maria.” 

Dinah smiled, ‘Thank you. We’ll keep a low profile till things have been decided with Jaffa. We pray for life.” 

Alexi was still staring like he’d never seen a woman before and Maxim smirked, “Alexi, you should do like an Aristov and make your intentions clear.” 

Ilya rolled his eyes, “Aristovs put their feelings inside. Do like a Nebetov and take what you want. That’s how I got your papa.” 

Maxim punched him, “Shut up.” 

When they returned the originals left over from the original life were discussing amongst each other what they were going to do. Eren had Mikasa pulled to his side whispering while Armin and Erwin spoke while their eyes shifted around the room. 

Levi kept to himself and Marco looked pained. Jean couldn’t get over how threatened Marco was. Sasha and Connie ate their feelings. Hanji seemed just like Levi: worried. 

There was a knock at the door that caused a groan among everyone. Lilly went to open it, “Hello?” 

A man came inside with shaggy blond hair. He towered over her, “Hello.” 

Hanji turned, “Mike?” 

Mike Zacharias was now in their apartment. For many, this was their first time seeing him alive. For the others, it was just as emotional. Mila stood and went to her father, “Dad?! Why are you here? You’re not supposed to leave the family.” 

Bianca swallowed, “I called him here.” 

Tuvia blanched, “What?!” 

Bianca sipped on her water with lemon, “You’re not the only one who has been harboring secrets.” 

Mike looked at Oskar. His face a stern distasteful glare. “I heard there would be a vote on the daughter of Zeke’s fate. I wanted to come see.” 

Armin’s mouth was dry but he managed to speak, “Well, you’re an original so you get to vote.” Mike gave a small smiled and nodded, ‘Nice to hear your voice again.” 

Armin smiled, “The feeling is mutual.” 

Erwin was crying, his hand over his eyes. 

Mike and Erwin had a very emotional homecoming before the voting commenced. Armin wrote names on a piece of paper, “Mikasa, you’re the unlucky one.” 

She felt suddenly ill, “What do you mean?” 

Armin looked at Erwin and then Mikasa, “Because we now have Mike, we need someone to ensure that a tie doesn’t happen.” She saw how Eren looked. 

“Okay.” 

She wasn’t okay with it. 

She sat down on David’s lap and he wrapped his arms around her. He kissed her shoulder and pressed his face in her back. David loved his wife. 

Eren was panicking. 

Keita looked at Mike like a shadow. He’d found nothing on him for as long as he’d looked. Jaffa burst into tears. She started to come completely undone. Sasha looked at Connie whose own face was now drawn up in dread. Sasha didn’t feel like she had to talk her husband into anything. He was difficult as it was. 

Connie had to come to his own conclusions. There was no forcing him. They got married and pregnant in the most absurd ways thanks to his odd fear. He thought she was pure and vulnerable. It handicapped him. She’d get annoyed about it and go spend time with Mikasa till she cooled off. Europa was his joy. 

Mike sat with Erwin and spoke softly. Mike paused, looked at the paper slip, and took a pen. Hanji was having a crisis and Oskar didn’t know what to do with himself. He felt more threatened than ever. Levi wiped a tear, “My God, let’s fucking do this shit.” 

Marco wrote his vote in record time, placing it in the box. Jean grit his teeth, tching. He wrote his, too and then he placed it in the box, “This is the last fucking time. I’m not doing this again. Don’t even ask. Jaffa doesn’t deserve this, either.” 

Erwin wrote his slowly, with thought, 

Armin’s came after careful consideration and his letters were tight like typewriter print. 

Erwin pretended to not be able to read the strokes of his letters. 

Levi wrote with his eyes closed. 

His entire body carried the weight of this choice. 

Eren’s was harsh, definitive, and frustrated. 

He punctured the paper with the pressure from his pen. 

Mike looked at Jaffa and saw bits of Annie. He knew of her simply because he’d seen Annie pregnant and occasionally he’d met with her when Zeke forced her to meet him. 

Mike wrote what he thought should happen and then went to stand near the pool. Nikko had Lylah now in his arms asleep. Mila went to her father. When the votes were tallied, Armin kept the count quiet. 

Armin turned to Mikasa, “Give me your vote, please.” 

Mikasa did so and Armin shuffled them all back and counted again. 

Keita held his breath. He could hear Nikko davening. 

“Seven and four.” 

Mikasa was angry, “You told me it was for a tie!” 

Erwin snorted, “Baby, that’s tricky.” 

Armin nodded, “I know, but I foresaw it being an issue if everyone didn’t get a say.” 

Jaffa spoke, “Am I going to die?” 

Armin shook his head, “No.” 

She stood up and went to Keita’s bedroom, “I don’t care what your stipulations are. I can’t handle this anymore.” 

She barely was able to make into the room before she shut the door and collapsed. Keita was on the couch and David sensed his son gearing up to fight more. 

Nikko looked at Judah, “Okay, Judah. This is where your ideas can help. How do we protect ourselves?” 

Judah groaned, “I’m done for today. Ask our rav.” 

He gave his aba a cheeky look before Aviva popped him in mouth, “Yehuda, stop!” 

He took her hand, welling up but then biting the remarks he wanted to make back, “Grrrrrrrrrr Aviva.” 

She smiled innocently, “You know I’m right. You’re powerless against me.” 

“If you were not in the state you are-” 

Mike looked at them. He didn’t know them, “Are you pregnant?” 

Aviva looked away, “I am.” 

He smiled, “Mazel?” 

She smiled back, “We’re all just having more and more kids. Mila is pregnant again and I’m sure more are to come.” 

Mike’s reaction made Aviva hesitate. He didn’t seem thrilled. 

“Are you fucking serious?” 

Nikko’s words were biting. He was turning red, “You’re such an ungrateful asshole! Things are hard enough and you’re the reason why we had to worry about Mila! She could have been in the same situation as Jaffa because of your titan state!” 

Nikko and Mike got into a huge argument that had Hanji pulling her hair out. She had had enough, “Mike, sit down and stop yelling at Nikko!” 

His reaction was intense. He turned to her, mouth open and ready to retort. She stepped forward, “Don’t you dare! Don’t you fucking dare say what you’re about to say. It’s no secret I love Levi’s children more than others! I’m sorry! But, if you ask any of these kids here, I’ve never made them feel like it. Nikko is special to me because he’s the first child aside from Mila that I had that intense a connection with. He’s the first boy in my life that I could dote on and feel like he was my own surrogate son.” 

His life with Mila is so beautiful and she is so happy. They live a dream and I’m often watching on the sidelines like a housewife watching a soap opera! Lylah is the happiest little girl and her father loves her without bounds. You’re fear is founded but stop taking it out on Nikko just because you don’t like his father!” 

She was shaking, “And honestly, I don’t know what else to think other than you never actually thought I loved you. You never ever really believed me. It’s been this thing between us. Your growing suspicion of Levi and our relationship. Newsflash, you died in the original life. I spent years with Levi. I was with him before you on and off and after you passed he was there for me. We had a child!” 

Mike’s mouth twitched and Hanji’s eyes narrowed, ‘And before you even go there, obviously Eren was okay with it. He was a parent. We co-parented together. We’ve never had an issue and to be honest, Eren was barely eighteen when we left the island! In this relationship, I was a mom and sister more than anything.” 

Mike exhaled sharply, “Isn’t that just great. So, even in the original life it was you and Levi. It didn’t matter what happened to others. As long as they wanted to be with either of you then we all just have to make do with the status quo. Eren, a fucking child, had nothing to leverage in that relationship. It was all you. Well, now, what does he think of you two and your cheating ways?” 

Hanji’s face was enraged, “What would you know about anything?!” 

Mike spat his words with venom, “Judging by your face Eren doesn’t know. I did my digging while in Italy, Hanji. You and Levi have crossed the line often and all on _film and in photos._ Does Oskar know his wife occasionally fondles and fucks the owner of the hospital he works for?” 

Oskar sat back in his chair, “I know.” 

Mike’s response was written all over his face, “What?!” 

He looked to Eren. Hopefully, he’d be outraged. 

Levi was sweating. He had already gotten to his feet. He approached Eren, “Eren.” His voice broken and desperate. It was panicked and made all of the kids on edge, “Eren, please, I’m-” 

“I know.” 

Eren seemed fine. 

Levi choked. The sound made Ezra and Judah uncomfortable, “You...know.” 

Eren nodded, “You’ve told me? You’ve admitted each time? I knew. Also, you talk in your sleep and your guilt is enough for both of us. I don’t care about Hanji. It’s not….you’re not cheating on me. I get it. It’s what me and Armin do in a way and that’s not cheating. Unless, I have no fucking idea what cheating is and maybe I don’t, but you’ve never lied to me. I don’t think you can.” 

Hanji looked at Mike, “Are you happy now? Why did my actions after your death bother you this much, Mike? You should ask yourself that. I thought you were dead. I was ready to remain alone for the rest of my life. It was only because of fate that I met Oskar and it wasn’t easy. God knows he’s been through hell and to know that he’s known of what Levi and I occasionally have done is shameful to me and speaks volumes for him.” 

Mike seemed deflated and deeply upset, “Well, I guess I’m not Oskar and I’m not Eren. It bothers me because you did it when we were together and you just keep on. It hurts, Hanji. No one can get over it. It’s selfish and destructive. It’s not like I can just stop loving you. I’ve never loved anyone other than you in any lifetime. I never will.” 

* 

* 

* 

When Jaffa woke up, the sun was filtering in through the blinds at a point she knew denoted midday. She turned over in the bed and noted it was cold. Keita was not there and had not slept with her. She closed her eyes and went back to sleep. 

* 

* 

* 

It was dark when she opened them but nothing had changed. She went back to sleep. 

* 

* 

* 

The sun was on the floor in a collage of morning. She rolled over and out of the bed. She made her way into the bathroom and relieved herself before showering and changing. All she had clean was a pair of workout shorts and underwear. She grabbed one of Keita’s shirts and pulled it over her head. 

She opened the door and entered the livingroom. 

No one was home it seemed. 

She packed her things up and went back to her apartment. 

* 

* 

* 

A few hours later there was a pounding at her door. She opened it to a red faced Keita, “Jaffa!” He was visibly upset and puffing, “I didn’t know where you’d gone.” 

She pulled him inside and started to make tea and turkish coffee. 

He sat down and made himself comfortable. 

She pulled some vegetables out, made israeli salad. She was glad to be home to use them before they spoiled. keita ate it with pleasure, “You make the best salad.” 

She smiled, ‘No.” 

He nodded, “You do. You’re also the most beautiful woman in the world.” 

She scoffed, “Now, that’s a lie.” 

He reached over to take her hand and kiss it. 

She blushed, “How….how did-’ 

“Let’s just finish eating and then we can talk.” 

Keita couldn’t help himself from opening the paper. She moved closer, “Tell me, what does your mother make that is your favorite?” 

He smiled softly, “My mother makes Miso soup like every other good Japanese mother. It’s the best out of all of them.” 

She leaned her head over on his shoulder, “I want her to show me how to make it.” Keita reached his hand up to her face and took her chin in it. He turned his head and kissed her sweetly, softly. “I’m sure she’d love to teach you. Lore wants to learn.” 

Jaffa smiled, “Probably for the same reason as I.” 

“For me?” 

“Well, Yoni for her. But, I want to learn for you and my possible future children.” 

Keita’s insides churned and his skin lost all color. 

He knew immediately that there was horrible news to be heard, “Just go ahead and say it, Keita.” 

He couldn’t look her in the eye. 

She grabbed his head, “Lieutenant Colonel Lavie, don’t you dare treat me any different than you have before.” 

He looked at her with pain in his eyes, “There are conditions for you in order to live.” 

She nodded, “As to be expected.” 

“You are my responsibility just like your mother was your father’s responsibility. I am to be with you and monitor you for any signs of the titan disease taking over.” 

She nodded, “I’m fine with that. it’ s not like the first time I’ve been stuck with you against my will. You turned down a preliminary transfer request, remember?” 

He looked absolutely pained, “I do but….that’s not all. You can’t carry on the royal bloodline. It’s too dangerous. You must not have children.” 

She was emotionless. He looked at her and let go of her hand, “Jaffa, sterilization is what they settled on. Nikko was asked to perform the surgery.” 

Because, Levi had flat rejected and nearly gone off the deep end himself. 

Hanji had volunteered but she, too, was choking. 

Nikko was forced to do it by pressure from the family. 

Zev would take all of his anger and frustration for making the call. 

Jaffa stood up and walked around her living room a bit, “I can’t have children?” 

Keita’s habit of resolution was hard to break, “There is adoption.” 

She was growing panicked, “I will never have children of my own.” 

It had been her dream to have a large family. 

Keita felt helpless, “How do I help you?” 

She was crying. Her words were small and broken, “I can’t give you a family. I am no use to you or anyone else.” 

Keita stood to take her in his arms. He pleaded as she pulled away, “I love you no matter what.” 

“I can’t give you a family!” 

“Lore has that covered! We can adopt or foster!” 

“I can’t let my mother’s life end without someone to stand for her!” 

Levi had spoke of that for years. 

All Keita could do was hold her, soothe her, and reaffirm he loved her. 

“I’ll marry you today.” 

She looked at him like he had gone insane. 

“Keita, don’t talk of madness. I am the very thing that can destroy your family. I have to be sterilized for protection of your family. How are they ever going to accept a marriage and now?! Of all times!” 

“It would be advantageous for us to wed now.” 

“Why?” 

“Because, we’re going to America to fight. Everyone has gone home or is leaving now and tomorrow. Nikko needs to see you tomorrow for the procedure. If we marry, you can come with me as my spouse and no one will think anything of it legally.” 

She wiped her face, “Why go there when Iraq and Iran are right next door?” 

He sat down, “Because, Eren believes he did something in the original life that he shouldn’t have. There are a few left over from that life in America still. Mike wants to work on the water filters with Gaia and the other children born with parts of the coordinate.” 

She looked at him, “But, I don’t want to go to America.” 

There was a frail tension between them, “What do you mean, Jaffa?” 

She felt off, “I don’t know. I don’t want to live there.” 

He snorted, a smile on his face that took her anxiety away, “Jaffa, we’re not going there to live. This is our home.” 

He looked at her, “I am never going to ask you to do anything you don’t want to...aside from these two stipulations. I will from this point on let you lead. I don’t want to lead, honestly.” 

He laughed softly, “My father was right.” 

She sat down, “You want a good wife to tell you what to do?” 

“Yeah, basically.” He kissed her hand, “I mean, how are you going to put up with me?” 

She rolled her eyes, ‘Where is your mother?” 

“At home, packing. My father is your appointed guardian when I can’t.” 

She blushed and he frowned, “Jaffa?!” 

She shrugged, ‘Your father is literally the most handsome man in the world. I’m sorry.” 

“What am I?!” 

“Top five for sure.” 

It really bothered him, “Top five?!” 

”Oh, have you just, like, always been the best and most good looking? Well, there is always someone better, Ketia. They teach us that in training.” 

“What number am I?” 

“Does it matter?” 

He pouted and she laughed, “Two. Duh.” 

He was less wounded, “So, I’m basically number one.” 

“Essentially.” 

* 

* 

* 

Jaffa sat on the table at the clinic while Nikko finished prepping her. He wouldn’t speak to her or look her in the eye. He cried most of the time she waited on her test results to come back. He kept praying under his breath. 

To be alone with Nikko Ackermann like this was no easy thing. 

His soul was pure and it soared high. 

A religious man with devotion to his family was something Jaffa had always craved. Her father had done well to offer her mother that. 

Keita was still a mystery. He had a lot of layers that needed to be pulled back. 

“Jaffa?” 

Nikko’s voice broke, “I need you lay down now. I’m going to put you to sleep, okay?” 

She nodded, ‘I understand, Nikko.” 

He looked pale, “I am sorry.” 

She took his hand, “I understand. I’m not upset at you, Nikko.” 

Nikko pulled back and the nurse put her to sleep. 

* 

* 

* 

Jaffa felt drugged and sore. She saw Nikko in the chair, “Keita is on his way.” 

She closed her eyes and tried to move her fingers and toes slowly. Nikko cleared his throat, “Do you love him?” 

“Mhm.” 

He fidgeted, “Jaffa…” 

She looked at him and tried to focus, “Yeah?” 

Nikko looked at his watch, “We need to talk about your post op care.” 

She heard a waiver in his voice, “Did something go wrong?” 

Nikko and Jaffa spoke until Keita arrived. 

* 

* 

* 

“I don’t know.” They were standing in the line of the courthouse, “I don’t know if this is how my mother would have wanted me to get married.” 

Keita said the words under his breath. 

Jaffa turned around to look him in the eye, “Mr. Lavie, I’m already technically not supposed to be able to even marry you here in Israel since I’m not Jewish.” 

“You’re Jewish. We just need to do some paperwork.” 

Keita’s quick defense of her Jewishness whenever she brought it up proved to her he really did love her. Keita used to be _one of those Jews._ The ones that thought only being born of a Jewish mother made you really Jewish and only the strictest of Orthodox conversions could do. His love for her must have challenged a lot of beliefs. 

“My ima and aba got married here. I stood in this line.” 

Keita looked around, “Really? This line?” 

She nodded, “Yep. We were the last people they helped when the outbreak occurred.” 

Keita kept looking around the room like suddenly it was acceptable to him. She couldn’t help but laugh. That was very Keita. Things had to earn his approval. Why on earth would she be any different. 

She was a little sore still and sighed. 

Keita wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her close, “Can I get you anything?” 

She shook her head and he kissed her temple, “You’re so strong. I am so sorry and I’ll do anything for you. After this, let’s go home and grab our bags. We can head somewhere really nice to celebrate before we get on the plane.” 

She looked up at him, “Do you really want to marry me?” 

Keita nodded, “I really want to.” He dug in his pocket, “Your aba and I were talking and he mentioned he had a ring that he’d always thought of you when he looked at it. He showed it to me on his phone and I asked to buy it for you. I’d intended it to just be a thank you. I never dreamed I’d live and be able to use it for what it was meant for. Jaffa, will you marry me?” 

She took the [ring](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/9d/a9/75/9da975f5560ad2e4493ec6badeea60a7.jpg) and placed it on her finger, “You didn’t even have to ask.” She kissed him, “For better or worse, I’m pretty sure you’re my beschert.” 

“For better or _worse?!_ ” 

They were up at the window and had to put their banter on hold. 

Once married, they got their bags from their apartment and rode to the airport. There was a restaurant that they both enjoyed there, and it worked out. Keita toasted his wife and she tried to think of how happy her parents would be without getting too upset. 

On the plane, Keita was frank, “I know we can’t consummate the marriage right now. I know I want to and I love you. I know that we’re not exactly at that point in our relationship. You’ve been through a lot and I’m happy just to hold you.” 

Jaffa gave him a sultry look, “I mean, we can do some things.” 

Keita blushed. A steward had overheard. 

Jaffa laughed, ‘You’re so easy to embarrass.” 

She looked around, “I’d like for you to hold me while I sleep. I’m very tired and I’m a little...scared.” 

”Of me?” 

“America. I mean...I’ve never been and you hear all sorts of things.” 

“Like?” 

“You’re all really selfish and mean. Don’t care about family. Don’t care about others and you’re not faithful. You have too many guns. You’re fat and dumb. I mean….it’s stereotypes and not reality but I have nothing to gauge it with. I go to Ukraine and Russia. I’ve known what to expect from those trips but this is different. I’m going to see Maria.” 

“It’s a nice place. It’s a thriving ghetto and safe. We’re lucky to have a homebase for this to all be launched from.” 

She moved over to where they could lie down. She gave him a sweet come hither look before whispering, “Come here, Mr. Lavie.” 

He did so and they slept till they arrived in Maria. 

* 

* 

* 

Keita kissed her awake. She rolled over and pressed against him, “Were here, Jaffa.” 

They grabbed their things and walked off the plane. 

“Wow.” 

Jaffa noted how green everything was. It was all so lush and the mountains were in the distance. She couldn’t smell a sea but she did smell the woods. Keita held her hand leading them to the car. When he got inside he exhaled, “Do you like surprises?” 

Her head snapped up, “ _We both_ don’t really like or care for surprises for us.” 

Keita nodded, ‘But, do you normally like them after you get them?” 

She thought about it, “Sure.” 

He seemed nervous, “Please don’t divorce me.” 

Her reaction made him quickly take them away from the airport. 

When they arrived at Levi, Eren, Armin, and Erwin’s house, her eyes nearly popped out of her head, “This is huge. Oh my God, this is crazy. You lived in a mansion?” Keita said no and explained that this was where his cousin’s merely lived. 

When they got out she continued to look around in awe. This is where this large and influential family lived. Keita took her hand and ducked down to pet a cat that ran by, “We like animals.” She was brought up on the porch, “Okay. Here’s the surprise.” 

He pushed the door open and pulled her in front of him. 

There was an explosion of surprise. She saw beautiful decorations and everyone was dressed in black tye. Mikasa stood at the foot of the stairs, “Jaffa, welcome.” 

David pulled Mikasa closer, “We felt awful that you missed out on a wedding with the frills. You can always do something later, but Keita wanted you to have the full experience. He didn’t know that your ima and aba were married at the same hall. So, please know this was planned before and in no way is to lessen the symbolism of your first legal union.” 

Mikasa and Hannahlore approached, “We have wedding dresses for you to try on and everything has been arranged. In this family, we can throw a wedding.” 

Lore kissed Jaffa, “I am very happy to call you sister.” 

Jaffa started to cry. Keita worried and stepped forward, ‘I’m sorry.” 

“No,” she took his hand, “this is so nice.” 

He smiled, “Are you happy?” 

She nodded, ‘Yes.” 

He laughed shortly, “Then go get a dress.” 

* 

Mikasa and Lore showed Jaffa to a room where the other girls were. It had a few things hidden by sheets. Mikasa looked at her, “We normally have two dresses. One for the ceremony and one for the reception. You don’t have to, but know we have options. I assumed you wanted something to show off your figure in and-” 

“Actually, I’d like a tzunit dress.” 

Mila snapped her fingers, “I called it.” 

Mikasa smiled, “I have a few.” 

Jaffa was dressed and made over in style. There was a moment when the girls left and Mikasa remained. She spoke with her about how happy she was to have another daughter and that knew of her sacrifices. 

“I cannot imagine how you feel. I cannot pretend to understand your pain. I can only offer you my ears, my heart, and my arms. My son loves you and has found peace in you. You are a partner to him and I feel so happy to know he is in your care. Because, let’s be honest, you have to care for Lavie men. They’re helpless.” 

She chuckled while Jaffa nodded, “I wanted to learn how to make miso like you.” 

Mikasa seemed thrilled in her own way. She was so much like her mother when it came to showing emotions, “And you will.” 

Another knock, “May I come in?” 

Levi entered and Mikasa searched his face, “Is everything going according to plan?” 

“Of course. I’d just like to speak with Jaffa alone.” 

Levi approached Jaffa slowly, “You look absolutely beautiful. Would you allow me to give you gifts and blessings?” 

She nodded. Dr. Ackermann was a legend and she felt herself fill with awe of him. He took her wrist gently in his hand and then started to wind a red string around it. He said the ben yosef prayer while tying the knots. The thread was very, very fine and strong. “I want the evil eye to be blind to you. I want this to last for a long time and my secret wish for you to come true.” 

She felt very touched, “Thank you. I don’t know what to say. You are too kind.” 

He seemed pained and struggling to put things into words. He opened his pocket and pulled out a box, ‘Here.” 

She opened it to see a beautiful hamsa [necklace](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/4e/75/a3/4e75a34ecb714f81ac77d8359818dc8c.jpg). He helped her put it on, “I know you’re not supposed to wear jewelry under the chuppah.” 

She felt the necklace and put it inside her dress, “No one has to know.” 

Levi stepped back, “You know I was born into the Satmar.” 

She did not, “I didn’t,” 

He nodded, “I have no other family than David. He is my only blood relative outside of my children. I’m sure cousins are around but none close and the relationships are too far gone.” 

He looked down at the floor, “Eren didn’t understand why I didn’t want to go to my old home in Williamsburg. My mother was beaten there and killed. Why would I ever want to go back there? People ask why I am religious still or again, depending on who you ask, and I can’t remember a time I ever wanted to leave Judaism truly. Sure, I gave up on God for a time but that didn’t make me leave the traditions or the culture. You can’t really do that anyway.” 

So, when Eren wanted me to go back there I just couldn’t wrap my mind around it. Why go back there? What could I get from it? We had some of the worst fights in our relationship about it. It tore us up. We tore each other up. One day, I said fuck it. I put Nikko, only a few months old, into his carrier and Eren and I went up there. We stood in the rooms where I lived. We stood in the street where I played. We went by the lots that an older man kept livestock on, which is just absurd when you think about it. We then stood in the kitchen where my mother was beat to death.” 

Eren stood somewhere to the side while I stared where my mother gave her life to protect me. I held my son. I held the only thing I’d ever really wanted in my hands and smelled the top of his head. He made me think about it all. I saw my lives. I felt that struggle well up inside of me again. I wanted revenge and I wanted a future for him where he could live without fear. I didn’t get to give him that.” 

Now, I pray we end this so that Lylah, Gaia, Ilan, Tovi, and the others yet to be born will inherit a world where they are so completely ordinarily boring it hurts. We’ve come this far but I know that losses are still to come. Who will die and for what reason? Will someone stand for them?” 

I care about that, Jaffa. I want there to be someone to stand for those who are not here. This is why I couldn’t do your procedure. I cannot do that. I would not do it.” 

Levi paused, his neck red. When he continued it was even more emotional, “Do you want to know what I learned from that apartment in Williamsburg?” 

She blinked, “Yes.” 

“I learned a few things. First, that I should not have come. Second, that my mother was really dead and she died there. It wasn’t a dream. It happened. It happened and I was helpless to stop it. I would never be helpless again. I made a vow right there and then. Third, my son would never, ever be allowed to follow the satmar tradition. I couldn’t bear it and Nikko and Mila’s observance level always frightens me. Fourth, that family was the most important thing in the world. Eren is my husband, my partner, my best friend, my soul, my life, and he is the breath in my lungs. But, David is blood and he is a piece of my flesh that pulses through and heals my own. He is a link in a long line that Eren is not for me.” 

David knew my mother. David was of my father. David and my son shared a bond that Eren and I did not. Eren was alone just like I had always believed I was. I know that feeling. But, now, he has children and there is someone that will stand for him and I….and then there is you and…..Zeke.” 

What I am trying to say through all of this is that you are now in this family. I am here and I will do what you need. You are linked to my husband in a way I know now. In a way Eren never thought he’d be linked to anyone just like I had all those years. Blood is a curious thing. It does call out to us more than we think. While I am a firm believer we choose our family and friends, there is an undeniable appeal to having at least one blood relative around.” 

Since you are my family now, I would like to walk you down the aisle and present you.” 

She didn’t have the words but nodded and wiped a tear. 

When they went out to line up, Eren was sitting among the rest of the family. 

She didn’t understand and knew better than to ask. 

Levi walked her down and gave her away. Keita was beautiful and so was the ceremony. The family sure could throw a party. 

Her ceremony [dress](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/84/cf/38/84cf38d045be3365cdbe2a5f4e70d5b5.jpg) was innocent and conservative but her [bouquet](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/6c/a5/e4/6ca5e4244618b2a26fab977ade469327.jpg) was luscious and dark. Her [cake](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/4b/97/ec/4b97ec00d9cb9b304b35bbc965a45eba.jpg) was delicious. Her [chuppah](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/4e/8d/8e/4e8d8ecf70a4bba77df358985dafb369.jpg) framed with an opening of flowers and her [kaddish](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/45/02/95/45029517a00d9a0d3eaa669f862f0433.jpg) cup was a gift from the second generation. Her [ketubah](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/1e/35/41/1e354118b5abd3e92fe32d45ac1e2799.jpg) was gorgeous and golden. Her [reception](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/89/b6/69/89b6691c7013dcbc730b9a3c53206c64.jpg) was outside and decorated sweetly with lanterns. 

After the ceremony, she changed into one of Mikasa’s dresses. She had been hesitant, “Mrs. Lavie, this is so….” 

Mikasa clicked her tongue behind her teeth, “You’re now Mrs. Lavie. I think, and Lore thinks, that you’ve got a sexual side and perhaps, my son might want to get a glimpse of it?” She smirked, ‘If he hasn’t already.” 

She blushed and Lore smiled, “Oh yeah, I think maybe my brother hasn’t. You’re pretty professional anyway.” 

Jaffa pulled the dress on, “Is this see through?” 

“No, there is a lining, Jaffa.” Mikasa kissed her cheek, “I think you’re gorgeous.” 

Lore hugged her, “Thank you for being my sister!” 

Jaffa appeared outside. Keita nearly fell over his own feet walking towards her, “Jaffa! You! You don’t have any clothes on!” 

[She](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/36/e1/85/36e185fe948a2fa66d56e87356c32b96.jpg) smiled pulling at the slits, “It’s lined. You don’t like it? Your mother made it.” 

He stared at her, a lump in his throat. She nicked her head to the side, “I’d like some cake, habibi.” She winked and his chest filled with such emotion. 

“You’re flirting….” 

She laughed a little, “With my husband. I think it’s allowed.” 

She gabbed his tie and pulled him along to the table for cake. 

Keita kissed her as they danced. It was nice. All was well. 

She saw Mike sitting with Hanji while he held Lylah. He seemed in much better spirits. But, Eren was different. He was to the side and his eyes were cast upon her unkindly. 

She pushed her face against Keita’s jacket and breathed in, “You smell good.” 

She pushed harder and took a deep breath. 

He smelled so good. 

She pulled him closer and lost herself in the overwhelming scent of him. 

She wanted to eat him. 

* 

Erwin was opening a beer when Levi walked by. He took his arm and pulled him into his embrace, “Lee.” 

“Let me go.” 

“Lee!” 

“No!” He pushed Erwin away, “No!” Levi took Erwin’s beer from his hand, “Fuck you.” 

Erwin was hurt but knew better than to stop Levi from going on the porch to sit out of the way and alone. 

He thought about the last three days. The rising tensions between them all was tearing them apart. Armin came over, “They’re still not speaking.” 

He looked tired. Erwin’s eyes were cast down, “He avoids me now.” 

Armin shuffled around, “I’m sorry.” 

Erwin was cold even to him. He turned around to look at the family. Armin felt insecure, “Are we going to be okay?” 

Erwin nodded, “Yeah, we’ve been through worse, Armin. We’re going to be okay even though it feels like it's going to take forever. But, I don’t know about how I’m going to be with Levi and Eren and Levi are really in a bad place.” 

Erwin’s voice was pained, “Maybe….” 

Armin looked at him, “Maybe what?” 

Erwin’s voice was raw, “I think I made a mistake all those years ago.” 

It wasn’t clicking with Armin who stood there in shock, ‘About what?” 

“About Levi. I should have just….steered clear. I should have just stopped. He told me to and I just forced it. Levi and I, our personalities, they’re not meant to mesh long term.” 

Armin took his hand, “You don’t mean that. Don’t say that. I don’t want to hear that.” 

Erwin pulled his hand out watching across the yard. 

Zev was bothering Judah at their table. He was trying to take something off the table that Zev kept pulling back towards him. Judah had stood up now, face flushed pink, jaw clenched, and his entire demeanor like that of a cat unsure whether it should hiss or scratch. 

Zev’s smile was large and mischievous. He leaned forward, pulling whatever it was Judah wanted to him. Judah said something. Probably a threat. It only made Zev grin wider. He stood up and walked around to Judah. Judah moved back, like a cat arching it’s back. 

Erwin knew this game. 

Zev leaned back on the table, towering over Judah. He let his head fall to the side and he gave a cheeky sensual look. He spoke to Judah in a way Erwin always talked to Levi when he wanted to get his way and ensure he got it. However, Erwin hoped that Judah and Zev were nowhere near that level he and Levi go to . 

Hopefully, Judah would get annoyed and deny him, 

Maybe his son wouldn’t fall into the trap he did and give up on Judah. 

But, it seemed like son like father. 

Whatever smooth words he was using against Judah was working because he slowly let his guard down. Zev tapped his cheek and Judah rolled his eyes. 

He moved forward, lips parted slightly. He was going to give him a peck on the cheek but Zev intercepted him and their lips entangled for a few long seconds. 

Judah pulled back. A blush on the back of his neck. He gave Zev’s arm a punch and walked off. Zev grinned ear to ear so satisfied with himself. Erwin wanted to go over and tell his son to run. 

“Don’t glare at the kids.” 

Armin was highly annoyed and walked off. 

Keita and Jaffa enjoyed themselves till it was very late. Maxim and Ilya informed them that the tiny house was free for a honeymoon and that it was fully stocked. Jaffa smiled as Gisela handed them the code for the security system, ‘Remember, Zev and I are only across the street.” She winked and Zev pulled her up into his arms before heading away. Keita was red in the face and Jaffa winked, “I think she’s trying to tell us something.” 

He laughed despite himself, “Yeah.” 

They went to the tiny house. Keita watched as Jaffa became a child. He told her the story of why it was built and she inspected every inch of it. There was food, TV, and games. Keita looked at his [ring](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/93/01/24/93012472a5cf52ca0b85e6625fb7c386.jpg) and listened to her go up to the bed. 

She started to burst into laughter, “Lavie! How forward!” 

He climbed up at the speed of a cheetah, ‘What?!” 

She was giggling, looking back at him over her shoulder, “Look at the petals.” 

He looked at the bed and noted the words on the covers, “Oh God.” 

In rose petals the words “CAN I EAT YOUR ASS” were displayed for all to see. He thought about who could have been behind it, “Judah and Alexi have obviously been here.” She saw a card, “No, it seems Ilya and Marco were behind this.” 

“Marco!?” 

“I know, I’m surprised. He’s literally the nicest man in the world.” 

Keita was blushing as she turned her head, “I mean, but if you want to eat my ass you can. I’m into it.” 

Keita nearly choked, ‘Let’s watch a movie.” 

She nodded, “Whatever you say, Mr. Lavie.” 

* 

* 

* 

Eren was sitting in one of the guest [bedrooms](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/46/4f/d2/464fd281d39ae8bc17cd0b6ac4eb2650.jpg) on the edge of the bed. He’d moved his things in the moment they got back. He was fidgeting with his hands. 

When Eren looked out the window he saw lights from Judah and Gisela’s home across the field. His children were all here, alive and close. Gaia was going to have a sibling. Bianca and Tuvia were expecting. Lylah was going to have a sibling. Ilan wasn’t going to be an only child, either. It may not be now but it would be soon. 

Eren fell back on the bed with a thud. 

“Momma?” 

He didn’t know why he was even trying. 

“Momma, do you wish I’d just stop talking to you?” 

Maybe she did. She never answered, “Momma, I’m really angry. I’m so angry it’s consuming me. Dad has betrayed you and I both. He’s put us in a horrible position and I can never get over it. I thought I was lucky. I didn’t marry someone like dad who had double lives and a separate family. I was proud that I was at least better off. I was selfishly glad you were not here to find out about how little he loved us.” 

Momma, I love you. I loved you and will always love you. But, I’m not so sure I’m better off. I have been betrayed. I feel alone and I feel the weight of choices I have to make weighing me down. I wish you were here.” 

He did wish she was here. 

The door opened and Levi stumbled in. Eren wiped his face and pulled himself together, steeling himself against his husband. Levi was drunk on his feet, “Eren, please, come back to our room.” 

Eren was stern, “No.” 

Levi leaned down, moving onto the bed where he was going to hover over Eren. He went to kiss him and Eren rolled away and off the bed. He stood at the corner, “I want you to leave.” 

Levi was unreadable. 

He stood back up, “Eren, please.” 

Eren was pushing his rage down, “No.” 

“When will you stop torturing me?” 

“Never.” 

“Ha, okay then.” Levi wiped his hands and looked around, “So this is how it’s going to be now?” 

Eren’s heart clenched painfully. It was like daggers were sinking into his flesh slowly. His voice was strained, ‘You made a choice.” 

Levi’s retort was quick and biting, “We all made a choice!” 

Eren’s words were loud and hurt, “AND YOU MADE THE WRONG CHOICE!” 

The look Levi gave him was emotionless and observational. 

Eren moved forward, “Leave. I don’t want to see you or keep talking. Just go! It was enough today.” 

Levi turned to leave. His eyes were calculating but his attitude back to the old days when Eren never knew what Captain Ackermann was thinking. Did he hate him? Maybe. Was he upset? Maybe. Did he still love him? Maybe… 

Or maybe not.


	189. Aggadah

Gun 

Fire in the streets 

Where we used to meet 

Echoes at a beat and the bass goes 

**Bomb**

Right over my head 

Step over the dead 

Remember what you said 

You know the part about 

Life 

Is just a waking dream 

_Yeah_ , I know what you mean 

But 

That ain’t how it seems 

Right here 

Right now 

How can this be real? 

I can barely feel 

Anymore… 

_Levi pulled one of his earphones out and looked over the trench at the line. The sun was bright and his eyes burned. There was the smell of gunfire, steel, and burned material in the air wafting down from the guys up the line._

_He pulled out his binoculars and saw the giant wall in the distance. What was annoying was that it’d been a month and a half of them waiting, advancing, and trying to get to the bottom of the Reiss game. They had an army but what good was it? They needed more people but they had to be _ **clean**_. He coughed, covering his mouth. When he pulled his hand away, spots of blood dotted his glove. _

_He placed his arms on the edge of the trench and laid his head on them. Levi’s hair moved in the wind. He looked around and saw pockets of burned ground. He heard a bird, a hawk, scream overhead. The group he led was waiting. He placed his earbud back into his ear and gave them the hand signal to file out of the trench and move forward towards the wall._

I am trying 

To see 

I am trying 

To believe 

This is not where 

I should be 

I am trying 

To believe. 

_The pack jostled as he crouched running through the high grass. His breathing was under control and rhythmic. He heard the thud from his gun slapping against him as he ran faster, harder._

_He looked around at his men._

_He saw the grass move when it shouldn’t._

_He crouched down, sliding onto his knees. His men followed suit as he raised his hand up. He motioned to a lesser officer, some newbie from Kazakhstan, who relayed the message down the line._

_Then, he signaled._

_They shot into the high grass killing three MTs (Mini Titans)._

Blood 

hardens in the sand 

Cold metal in my hand 

Maybe held 

you understand the way that things will be 

There's nowhere else to hide 

**Cause god is on our side**

I keep telling myself 

I am trying 

to see 

I am trying 

to believe 

This is not where 

I should be 

I am trying 

to believe 

_Levi’s group made it to one of the towns nearest the wall and into HQ. He shuffled the papers around on the table looking for his children’s names and details of their advancements. He heard the door open and smelled Armin. There was a moment where they exchanged looks but other than that they seamlessly went through the material._

_Levi’s heard hurt._

_His eyes couldn’t focus._

_The whole world started to spin._

No one's even sure 

What we're fighting for 

Or who we even are 

Anymore 

I feel 

So far away 

_Levi clutched his head, pulling his headphones out. He closed his eyes and grit his teeth. There was a moment where the shuffling ended and he felt cool water on his lips. He opened his mouth and drank from Armin’s canteen._

_The sun filled the white walled room with brightness._

_The oak wood of the door frames and furniture were light._

_The metal table was modern and bore Tuvia’s name._

_Armin took his face in his hands and waited for Levi to come back to him,_

“Come back to me, Levi.” 

_Armin’s face was hopeful but guarded. A tear fell from the corner of his eye to roll down his pretty, soft cheek. His lips were chapped but not too bad. He smelled like carmex. His hair was in a ponytail, bangs short and just above his eyebrows. Levi studied him everytime he got to look at him now._

_He was beautiful._

_He was kind._

_He was logical._

_He was a part of him._

_Levi grabbed his face and kissed him hotly._

_Open mouth and wet, tongues thrashing, teeth biting, and hands in each other’s hair. It was quick, brief basically, but it was meaningful._

_Levi let go and pushed him away like before._

_He had work to do and so did Armin._

_They went back to searching the room._

“Levi? Armin?” 

_Erwin walked in with a stack of folders._

“I have it.” 

_Levi turned his face away while Armin sighed in relief. Erwin and Armin exchanged small smiles of relief at seeing one another. It had been about a week. Levi took a folder from the stack and walked past Erwin out into the home they were using as HQ. Erwin’s face was a grimace of pain. Armin took his hand._

“I just want him back.” Armin’s words were small and broken. 

Erwin felt himself giving into his emotions but he pulled it back, “Armin, let’s go look this over.” 

Amrin nodded, “Yes, sir.” 

* 

_Levi walked around the town. He should be in a meeting but why bother?_

“Levi!” 

Hanji ran over, “Eren’s group is back.” 

_Levi blinked as she stood there. He was unreadable. He went back to walking around and Hanji followed him._

_Their shoes crunched on the gravel._

_The wind whistled through the trees._

_The sun bore down on them._

_The sound of laughter from a group of soldiers leaving a house punctuated the other sounds of daily life._

_Hanji took Levi’s hand._

_It was limp._

_She inhaled but said nothing._

_They stopped suddenly. Levi inhaled again, his neck twitched. Hanji let go of his hand._

_The wind whistled through the trees._

_The sun bore down on them._

* 

Eren made constellations in the dirt while Erwin discussed their plan of attack. The originals were considered highly valuable and each brigade wanted one. The kids, however, were filling in for them. Zev and Gisela were their mouthpiece and they made the journey up to HQ to represent them. 

“We’ve decided something.” Zev’s mouth curved around the words and Gisela’s eyes were piercing. Erwin paused in his delegating, “What have you decided without HQ input?” 

Zev looked at Gisela for a fleeting moment, “We’re going to control the main army. You and the others will become special squads. It’s useless to have the originals spread out. It’s dangerous and you’ve been out of combat for a long time. Your skills are more refined and your instincts sharper.” 

Gisela sat up in her chair, “We know there are IEDs in main streets, sharp shooters, MTs strategically placed in homes and barns. We know that they’re going to make more as we go through the rings.” 

Armin interjected, ‘You know about the rings?” 

She nodded, “Cesare scaled the wall.” 

“What?!” Eren had wanted to scale it the entire time. He’d been prevented by Levi’s squad. Levi and Eren hadn’t spoken in a month but they seemed constantly stepping over each other in the field. Hanji occasionally worked between them as a medic. David assured him it wasn’t on purpose but Eren didn’t trust David. He’d become much more reserved and calculated as the war went on. 

Mikasa was off, too. 

Gisela looked at her baba, “Cesare didn’t ask for permission but he had an opportunity.” She removed pictures from inside of her coat, “Here we have shots of the rings from his perspectives and we can line up this with the maps we have.” 

Gisela tasted metal in her mouth. 

It was what it was like with all the Reiss so close. 

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and then came back. 

Levi was coughing. He looked in his hand and pulled out a handkerchief. 

Eren’s focus was solely on carrying out his mission, “Let them do what they want. We need to push forward and if they can handle the MTs, IEDs, snipers, and everything else we can get into the heart of the three rings and get Historia and the others.” 

Erwin nodded, “What is the end goal, though? You seem to be hiding something from us, Eren.” 

Eren glared, “Death is the end goal.” 

Erwin didn’t push. He shuffled papers. 

Armin looked around at Mikasa. 

“I see you looking at her. If you want to say something, then say it Armin.” 

“You’re worrying me.” Armin’s voice was cautious. 

Eren’s eyes bulged, “I don’t care.” 

“How are you going to get to her, Eren? The MTs are going to be around and they’re more dangerous than before. It’s another mutation. They’re violent and fast. It’s like dealing with zombies but at least they look better.” His words trailed off. Armin’s eyes were fixed on something on the table. 

Zev shifted, “Nikko is gathering samples.” 

Gisela added to it, “It’s why Mike going to fix new filters. Additional ones.” 

Eren was definitely planning something. Armin’s mind was trying to figure it out. Erwin was playing his part but he, too, knew there was more. Levi was unreadable and bored looking. It pained Armin and he knew it pained the children. 

The meeting went on with lot of fighting. Eren was inconsolable and belligerent. He wanted to rush into all sorts of scenarios. It was heavy and weighed on Armin and Erwin. The level of paranoia was high and his actions shifty. 

When they broke up for the day Armin asked David to come back to Erwin’s office. David kissed his wife and walked back with them. 

Erwin sat down at his desk while Armin stood by the window in the back. David sighed, “This is going to be painful, right?” 

Erwin nodded, “You’re here for a lot of reasons, David. You’ve got experience and you’re our psychologist.” 

“I’m also here to keep an eye on my wife but,” he paused, “she’s none too happy about that.” 

Erwin nodded, “Let me be frank, we’re all fucked up.” 

David knew that for sure, “Yeah, that’s true.” 

Armin asked him point blank, “Is Eren okay?” 

David shook his head, ‘No, he’s getting worse.” 

He pulled a file out of his suitcase, “Let’s address the common issues he has: panic disorder, separation anxiety disorder, PTSD, a type of adjustment disorder, late in life signs of a reactive attachment disorder, and…” 

David sighed, ‘This is such a long list. We’ve known for years Eren struggled with intermittent explosive disorder. He also developed oppositional defiant disorder.” 

He put the file down, “I am worried he may be creeping into paranoid personality disorder, which would make my list shorter, but is horrible for him.” 

Armin and Erwin exchanged worried looks. Erwin swallowed, “And Levi?” 

David whistled, “You let me worry about Levi.” 

Erwin didn’t like that but he kept it to himself. What did he care about Levi? 

“You can act like you’ve stopped caring but you haven’t.” 

David said the words carefully but Erwin’s anger arose nonetheless. Armin stepped in, “David, let’s come up with something. Why does he have a separation disorder?” 

“Isn’t it obvious?” 

“No. Not to me.” 

“Armin, Levi...he has separated himself from Levi and he’s having a crisis due to it. However, because of his oppositional disorder and his paranoia, he won’t remedy the situation himself. He’s making his paranoia worse by staying away from the one thing that anchors him. Everytime he tries to come to that conclusion, that returning to his relationship with Levi and you two would help, his paranoia disorder makes him believe that your actions are malicious and you will hurt him.” 

Erwin spoke, “What about the adjustment disorder and late in life signs of a reactive attachment disorder?” 

David perked up, “Adjustment disorders can occur as a response to a sudden change such as divorce, job loss, end of a close relationship, or some other loss. _It also occurs after disappointment_. It can affect both children and adults and is characterized by symptoms such as anxiety, irritability, depressed mood, worry, anger, hopelessness, and feelings of isolation.” 

What I think the root cause of Eren’s issue is the reactive attachment disorder. Reactive attachment disorder can result when children do not form normal healthy relationships and attachments with adult caregivers during the first few years of childhood. Symptoms of the disorder include being withdrawn from adult caregivers and social and emotional disturbances that result from patterns of insufficient care and neglect.” 

Armin shook his head, “But, he was cared for?” 

“You’re only half right, Armin. See, you have this disorder as well. Ever since I met you, it’s been clear as day to me. However, you have found a way to overcome it and live a normal life. Eren was following your lead. He also focused solely on his mother’s care. The moment Grisha’s transgression was made known to him, all the gaps of insufficient love and care from his father in his childhood came to the surface.” 

If you look at his relationship with Levi, you see he married a strong figure who always wanted to be a parent and be in a family. Levi takes care of Eren and their children. When Levi and Eren became parents, Eren got to be the father he never had. Just like you Armin. You and Eren were the mothers in your relationships. Why do you think that was?” 

Armin pondered it but was at a loss. 

“Because, you had so much love to give and you saw that as more mothering. You followed the lead of Carla since that’s all you knew of a functioning parental figure. And, you were scared.” 

“Scared?” 

“To be a dad. You made sure that was Erwin’s role. It wasn’t easy for him to always have to be the super father figure. But, Erwin was really good at it. He followed Mike’s father’s lead and his own. Only later in life did he realize his own father wasn’t perfect. He never had a mother so he was very happy you were the motherly one. But, Levi? He’d always wanted to be a mother if you think about it.” 

He wanted to nurture and care for something and that was his children and Eren. He wanted to protect Eren and be for him what Mikasa is to me. This entire situation is compounded by the past. None of us know really what’s going on with you four but it needs to be resolved or you’re going to hurt your chances.” 

Erwin was defensive, “Of what?” 

“Of staying in a relationship.” 

David said it plainly, “You think I’m overreacting?” Armin was pale but Erwin was just angry. David narrowed his eyes, his patience gone, ‘You know, I think I know what’s going on between my brother and Eren. I definitely don’t have it all worked out. Erwin, you and my brother have always had a complicated dynamic. I don’t pretend to know what’s wrong but I think it has something to do with Mike. Armin, you and Eren are clearly in this situation because of things surrounding the vote but what are you and Erwin fighting about?” 

Erwin closed his briefcase, “Get out.” 

Armin had been staring at the floor, “Wait, what are you going to do for Eren?” 

David stood up, “Nothing. He won't take the medications I have prescribed and he doesn’t trust me.” 

“Why?” 

“The paranoia. Watch how he acts around me. I gave him advil the other day and he flushed down the toilet because he thought I was trying to poison him. He won’t eat anything he doesn’t prepare. It doesn't matter if it's one of his children, he only.eats food he touches. Mikasa can’t even reach him.” 

He gathered his thoughts, “My fear is that if Eren can’t be brought back we will lose him. He is going to become more and more radical. His paranoia will cause him to break away from us and go rogue. You know this. I hope you have a plan and slowly fixing both of your relationships with him will help everyone else.” 

David left and Erwin let out the breath he was holding, “I hate him.” 

Armin quipped, “No you don’t.” 

Erwin spread his fingers out on the desk, “What’s our end game here, Armin?” 

Armin looked at him, “Defeat the Reiss. Defeat The Wall. Defeat The Soldiers.” 

Erwin shook his head, “With us.” 

Armin exhaled, ‘You’re such…” 

“Armin.” 

“A fucking meanie head.” 

Erwin blinked in shock for a moment. Then he let out a quick laugh, “Wow.” 

“Erwin, I don’t have a problem. You do.” 

“What?” 

“You’re the problem. I’m fine. I don’t give a fuck.” 

“Exactly!” Erwin stood up, ‘You don’t give a fuck! I want you to give all the fucks!” 

Armin welled up, fat tears in the corners of his eyes, “I care much too much about everything and you dare say that to me. My priorities were you and our family.” 

“They are our family.” 

“What Levi did with Hanji didn’t mean shit to us, Erwin. Stop fucking acting like it does. I will never forgive you for what you suggested when Tuvia was missing. But, I’m here and I’m trying to work on it.” 

“It was a plan.” 

“It was a horrible plan.” 

Armin looked disgusted, adding with disgust, “He would have been killed.” 

Erwin and Armin had found a few leads on Tuvia’s whereabouts. They thought he was being held in Jordan. There was a tense series of talks about what to do. A group was saying they had him. It was that fact that made Armin swear it was a trap. 

“I was a grieving son and worried father.” Erwin said it in his defense thinking back on his choices. 

Armin nodded, “Yeah,” he scoffed, “Sure. What was I again?” 

Erwin felt shameful, “I can only apologize and live with it.” 

Armin went to leave. 

Erwin tried to stop him, “No, please! Stay!” 

Armin opened the door, “I’ll stay when you have an answer as to why you did what you did.” 

He shut the door in Erwin’s face. Erwin raised his fists and beat the door while he screamed. 

* 

* 

* 

Head like a hole. 

Black as your soul. 

I'd rather die 

than give you control. 

Head like a hole. 

Black as your soul. 

I'd rather die than 

give you control. 

Bow down before the one you serve. 

You're going to get what you deserve. 

Bow down before the one you serve. 

You're going to get what you deserve. 

_Levi stalked through the town till night fell. He drank himself to just the edge of drunk. His blue smoke from the cigarettes he and his brother made caught the light creating beautiful, lush interest. He leaned back against one of the brick walls and placed his phone in his pocket. The music blared in his ears._

God money's not looking for the cure. 

God money's not concerned with the sick among the pure. 

God money let's go dancing on the backs of the bruised. 

God money's not one to choose 

No you can't take it 

No you can't take it 

No you can't take that away from me 

No you can't take it 

No you can't take it 

No you can't take that away from me 

_He could feel his body aching from the combat. He wondered what Eren was doing. He pulled his earphones out and went to look for him. He went through empty houses and barns until he saw the light on in one of the windows and his silhouette._

_He entered the home and noted the other soldiers who were drinking, drunk, and letting off steam in ways that were less than honorable. He wondered if Eren had someone with him upstairs. He wondered if someone else was touching his smooth, tan skin._

_When he got to the room, he gently pushed the white faux wood shaker style door and entered the room. Eren was standing at the window. There was no lover in the room. Levi took his phone out of his pocket and checked some emails while Eren stood silently._

_After a while Eren went into the bathroom and showered. Levi sat down on the floor, leaning on his pack. He closed his eyes and felt his phone ring. He answered it._

“Hello?” 

“Aba?” 

“Judah?” 

“Hey...are you with baba?” 

“Kind of but not really.” 

“Aba…” 

“Judah?” 

_Judah’s sobs made Levi pull away from the phone._

_When Eren returned he took the phone._

“Judah?” 

“Baba, why are you and aba fighting. Please, stop. Please, please, please, please stop.” 

“Judah, shush. Stop crying.” 

”Baba!” 

_Judah’s sobbing filled the room._

_Eren looked at the wall and Levi looked at the floor._

_Eren gripped the phone tighter,_ “Stop, Judah. It’s only making you more upset. Please, go get some sleep or call Aviva. This doesn’t involve you. You’re a grown man now. I love you.” 

_Judah’s voice was broken. He sounded even more in despair,_ “I love you too, baba. Please tell Aba I love him.” 

He hung up and Eren handed the phone back to Levi. 

He went over to turn the lights off and then laid down on the bed. 

Sleep was useless. 

it didn’t exist anymore. 

Levi and Eren remained like that till sunrise and their phones rang with orders. 

* 

They were going to penetrate the wall today. Levi looked at Mikasa as she counted bullets and grenades over and over again. He didn’t speak. There was no point. Hanji helped her sort while checking her pack. 

He was also a medic. It hadn’t gone over well that this squad now how two. 

Eren was angry that he had to be with all of them now. He was ready to fight. His children were with him and they had the lines shored up well. There was a definite plan in action that made the family more calm. 

Marco was on the phone with Bellamy when he ran over to Erwin, “Here.” 

He handed the phone to him and looked at Eren. Marco walked over, “I love you.” He embraced him. 

Eren looked caught off guard and Jean’s reaction was a mix between protectiveness of Marco and fear Eren would hurt him. “Babe, Eren’s not in the touchy mood lately.” He said it slowly, making his point. Marco pulled back, “I know, but...I love you. I just want you to know I do.” 

Eren wanted to believe him. 

Marco noted the glimmer of hope that guards were being let down. 

But, who would really love him? 

The guard was back up and he pushed Marco away. 

Jean fumed, “Don’t shove Marco, ASSHOLE!” 

He pushed Eren and Eren’s fist made contact with his jaw. 

The brawl was intense until Mikasa broke it up, “Stop! Separate!” 

Cesare and Ezra watched. The look on their face made Jean have cold chills when he turned around to see them. He felt embarrassed. He was acting worse than a child. He went back to Eren and embraced him. Eren fought him but he didn’t care, “Jaeger, just, fucking, ugh, get RIGHT!” 

Eren kicked him away, “Fuck off!” 

Armin whistled, “It’s time!” 

The drills were so loud as they approached. 

They expected there to be absolutely thousands of MTs. 

Gisela had cut her hair in the same style Mikasa always wore. She felt like she needed a change. Zev looked for her while counting men. Judah found her side and she felt invincible. 

Then she tasted bile and vomited on the ground. 

Judah took her hand. He’d been feeling ill all week and had already vomited twice this morning, “Do you think we have flu?” Uzi whined next to him, “Well, Uzi says it’s out nerves.” 

She wiped her mouth and took out a small bottle of mouthwash in her pack, “I feel like utter shit. I think Uzi is right, though. It’s stress and our parents.” Her voice broke. 

He looked at her, “I’m falling apart.” 

She nodded, ‘Yeah.” 

“I don’t want us to be like that, G.” 

“We won’t.” 

“How do you know?” 

“Because all people are not the same, baruch hashem.” 

“What if-” 

“Aviva, you really think something’s going to happen there? If anything, you’re a sperm bank. You’ll never be free.” Gisela started to laugh a little and Judah nodded, “But, Zev may dislike me.” 

“Dislike you? Sure, yeah. Okay. That’s totally possible.” 

He frowned. 

“Judah, Zev wouldn’t for the simple fact you and I are the same person. Zev and I have already weathered the storm. Our kinks are all worked out. But, if only we could help aba and baba.” 

“I love you, G.” 

She kissed his cheek, “I love you, too.” 

The drill stopped and it was time. She became the reincarnation of Golda Meir, “Troops! Get into position! Charlie, Foxtrot, and Alpha!” 

She walked on and Levi and Eren watched as their daughter commanded on American soil. Zev followed her lead, his head held high. A boy near them smirked, “He always let’s her go first.” 

Levi gave him a look like _why?_

The boy shrugged, “Because, he loves her. He wants to honor her.” 

Ori walked over to Judah who smiled and hugged him. Levi was amazed his son had a friend that wasn’t family. “Wow, Judah has a real friend.” Jean said it and Marco rolled his eyes, “Judah is a sweet kid. Be nice.” 

They lined up and waited. 

It didn’t take long for the screaming and gunfire to begin. 

* 

* 

* 

Eren looked at the map and sighed. He wanted to finish this already. Time was passing slowly, so slowly. He felt his skin crawl as they grew closer. Nikko appeared with papers, “They want more bullets.” 

Eren signed off and Nikko pulled the board back, “Talk to aba.” 

“Nikko.” 

“Talk to aba or you’ll never see your grandchildren again.” 

Eren felt like he’d been slapped in the face, “How dare you!” 

Nikko was cold, “No, how dare you! How _dare_ you two do this to our family! You don’t get to do this! We’re all struggling!” 

“Your father made a choice. I made a choice. His was wrong.” 

Nikko spat, ‘Was it?” 

Eren saw red, “YES!” 

Nikko walked off, “It pains me baba but I stand by my word.” 

* 

* 

* 

“Why are you still angry at Levi?” Armin's voice was small and desperate. He'd been around and around this question in his head for coming up on two months. 

“You know why. You know everything.” Eren's voice was low and emotionless. He and Levi had gotten into a fight in the house where they set the cafeteria up. He was currently growing a finger and his fractured jaw was popping back into place. 

“No, Eren. This time, I really don't know.” Armin felt resentment well up in him, “Tell me.” 

Eren's voice was calm but now annoyed. There was a bitterness in it, “You're the smartest. You'll figure it out. But, just to kill the time I won’t even give you a hint. Suffer like the rest of us commoners.” 

Armin got up, “Cesare was shot yesterday. Maybe you should go see him and be sour.” Jean and Marco were with him but still. Cesare would be sent home soon. He was consistently getting wounded. Thank God he could heal. It wasn't as efficient as Judah, Ezra, Nikko, and Gisela but it was good enough. It wasn't like he was a bad soldier. 

No, he was great. He was like Jean. However, that meant that he had a target on his back by Reiss operatives. No one's luck was as bad as Judah and Levi’s. 

* 

* 

* 

Judah and Levi’s squads were dwindling down in numbers. Judah was shifty. He was more than paranoid something was going to happen to him and his sister. He had a cough that persisted. It was odd and Uzi whined so much when it struck him he thought it was an omen. 

Levi went past him, “Judah.” 

His aba looked menacing lately. The relationship between his parents was weighing them all down, “Aba.” 

He handed him his clipboard, “Nice job.” 

They shared a cigarette in the shadows. 

Judah’s phone went off, “I’ll call you back when I get to my bunk.” 

He hung up and Levi tched, “Talk to your wife nicer.” 

Judah’s anger flared, “Make up with your husband!” 

He had yelled it. 

Levi and Judah glared at each other with the only light coming from the cigarette as Levi took a drag. 

The smoke billowed out of his nose, “Shut up, kid.” 

“Grow up, _kid!”_ Judah’s voice was spiteful, “What is y’all’s fucking problem?” 

Levi didn’t reply for a while. Then, “I don’t know.” 

Judah broke down into tears, “Why not?” 

His voice was a broken whimper. 

Levi’s reply was curt and if you didn’t really know him, you’d say it was completely void of feeling, “Baba won’t say.” 

Judah kept crying. 

Levi’s hand was on his shoulder, “Go back to your bunk and call your wife.” 

“I don’t ever want to be like you and baba.” 

“So,” Levi wiped his son’s face, “call your wife and do exactly what she tells you for the rest of your life.” 

He pushed Judah away, “Go! She’s going to be pissed. You’re bunk mate won’t be that happy but happy wife, happy life.” 

Judah walked back to his bunk and Levi watched him go. 

His neck twitched and Blitzen growled deep in his chest. 

Levi’s chest heaved as he started to cough violently. 

Bloody vomit was deposited at his feet. 

Levi wiped his mouth with his kerchief and spat, “Fuck.” 

He took his shoe and put dirt over the stain. 

Blitzen cried and moved to press against Levi’s leg. 

He heard someone walking towards him. 

Eren paused, glaring at him. 

Levi looked him up and down. 

Eren’s face lit up for a second and Levi’s curiosity peeked. 

Eren seemed to want something. 

Levi waited for something. 

Eren became frustrated and scowled. 

Levi walked forward. 

Eren noted he looked like he wasn’t even interested and that pissed him off. 

“Hey!” 

Eren followed Levi back to a house they were staying in. Bunks were one room with two occupants. It wasn’t hard to meet the quota as people dwindled down thinks to the intense fighting. They’d taken the first wall and were in a “safe zone” near the second wall. 

Safe zones were created by Armin and only he knew how to make them. 

No one asked questions. 

Armin was a terrifying figure during war. 

Erwin merely managed the remaining troops and readied them for fighting. 

Now, Eren was watching Levi make tea and noting how he completely ignored him. 

For a moment, he forgot that he didn’t need his attention. 

For a moment, he wanted his attention. 

_No, you’re fucking disgusting._

Eren flinched. 

Levi’s eyes narrowed on him but only for moment. He pulled a copy of the talmud out of his uniform and lit another cigarette. 

Eren brooded and walked over. 

He snatched the cigarette out of his hand. 

Levi’s other hand gripped his wrist. 

Eren’s face was slammed on the table and his arm bent behind his back. Eren struggled against Levi but he was pinned. 

Levi bent down, “Brat, I’d watch myself if I was you.” 

He let Eren go and watched as he recoiled, “Is that a threat?” 

Eren’s voice was brimming with uncontrolled rage. 

Levi met him with cool swift waters, “It’s a fact.” 

Eren swung but Levi avoided it, his knee making contact with Eren’s stomach. Eren wasn’t out. He came back again and again. 

Levi eventually sat down and finished his tea and made more. He was silent as he finished it. Eren sat across from him, bleeding and stewing. He was so frustrated and disgruntled. Levi opened his talmud again and started reading. 

Eren’s bottom lip quivered and Blitzen placed his head in his lap making a small crying noise. Eren stroked his head and looked at the kitchen cabinets. He was still really hungry. 

Levi watched as Eren went through them looking for things to make. 

He found something but the stove wasn’t working properly. 

Eren was pissed. 

He kicked the oven, looking at the box and the pot of water. 

Levi rolled his eyes and stood up. He walked towards him, “Move.” 

His voice left no room for argument and Eren buckled. 

Levi pulled the oven away from the wall and worked on it for a while, “There.” 

He pushed it back and turned the stove on to check it. Eren moved forward but Levi started cooking the food, “You’ll do it wrong. Rich little brats like you can’t do shit.” 

Eren sulked as he sat down in his seat. He looked at the talmud and opened it finding that it had no translations. He could speak and read Modern Hebrew fairly well but this wasn’t Modern Hebrew and he didn’t know enough to understand the commentary around the section. Levi sat down and pulled the Talmud over. 

“Hey!” Eren gave him an angry look but Levi merely snorted. 

“What? I doubt you can read.” 

Eren’s voice was raw, “Shut the fuck up!” 

He pushed the table towards Levi but there wasn’t a reaction. 

Eventually, as the food neared completion, he asked what he wanted to ask, “What section are you reading?” 

Levi tched, “So, you _can’t_ read?” 

Eren glared. 

Levi stood up and went to finish the late dinner, “Numbers 26:36.” 

Eren thought about numbers but he wasn’t sure what Levi would be reading there and for what purpose. 

“Let me guess, you don’t even really remember Numbers?” 

Eren sulked further. 

Levi turned around with the food plated. 

Mikasa entered, “Eren?” 

She saw them sitting down with food. 

Mikasa’s body seemed jolted by some sort of electric shock, “I need to know what time we’re leaving out.” 

Eren gave an annoyed sigh, “You’re not.” 

She frowned and made an oh so Ackermann glare, “I am. David is kicking me out.” 

Eren grew more annoyed, “No! I don’t want anyone in my squad!” 

“You have to have people!” 

“Not family!” Eren slammed his hands on the table and Levi’s tea spilled. He looked at the tea like it had personally been a dear friend who was now slaughtered and desecrated. 

He was thinking of how it could stain this table when he heard Mikasa’s cool tone turn to worry, “Eren?” 

“Eren? Why are you crying?” 

Levi looked up to see Eren wiping his face furiously, ‘I’m not.” 

Mikasa left and Levi waited for Eren to calm down. 

Eren felt his eyes on him. 

He looked up and saw Levi’s emotionless stare. He opened his mouth to speak and his monotone voice revealed nothing, “You spilled my tea.” 

Eren started eating. He didn’t know why, but Levi still made him feel like he was the same eighteen year old boy. They were back to that point where reading each other was hard and Eren never knew if the older more experienced brooding Captain was into him or going to rip him apart. 

Blitzen whined and Levi got up to leave. 

Eren watched him leave and didn’t know if he’d return. 

He didn’t know why he allowed himself to be vulnerable like that. Levi probably didn’t care. He probably really hated him. 

Probably. 

* 

* 

* 

Judah went past Zev as he went to his bunk in the house. Zev’s fingers were lightly on his hand, “Hey.” 

Judah paused, “Hey.” 

Judah’s voice was rough and Zev knew why. They were all very upset, “Come here.” 

Zev pulled him into a hug while Judah struggled to get away, “Stop! You smell horrible!” 

Zev rolled his eyes, “That’s your….Ackermann OCD. I smell fine. It’s just in your head.” Judah punched him in the gut and Zev let out a laugh along with his exhalation. Judah glared while he walked away. 

Gisela appeared, “Time for bed.” She looked tired and he didn’t blame her. He was tired, too. 

“Yes, Kaetzchen. I’ll be right up.” 

“No,” her voice warned, “you’ll come now and not follow him. I’d like some attention and help.” 

“Help?” 

“We’ve been asked to help daddy with his plan.” 

“Oh no, which one?’ 

“Deus ex machina.” 

“Shit. Okay. I’ll be right there, my love.” 

“Nope, now. I see what you tried to do there. I’m not new to this game.” She had been feeling extremely unwell lately and he didn’t want to push her. He put his things up and followed her to their room where they pushed their packs together in case there was an emergency and crawled into bed with their papers and instructions. 

Judah made his way back to his bunk and opened the door to Ori in the shower. He walked around the room, flustered and trying to calm down. He felt his phone vibrate. “Fuck.” 

He took a deep breath and steadied himself. 

He sat down on the bed and opened his laptop. It didn’t take long before he had her on the screen. She smiled, “Took you fucking long enough.” 

He inhaled sharply, ‘You’re so fucking demanding.” 

She shrugged, “I mean, you obviously like it.” 

He tched, “Hardly.” 

He felt himself grow weak at the sight of her. With his baba and aba fighting, he didn’t really want to fight with her. 

She looked quizzical, “Do you think you’re like Judah from the Tanakh? Which one?” 

Judah was thrown by the question, “What the fuck are you talking about?” 

“I was reading The Red Tent again.” 

“Oh fuck, Aviva, stop! You get so upset and you just cry and cry!” 

“I know but Judah is my favorite and I don’t think I’ve ever thought of him the way the book portrays him.” 

“Is it because I’m your favorite?” 

“Ha! I fucking tolerate you for sperm!” 

Judah rolled his eyes, “Then you answered your question. I’m clearly Judah son of Jacob and you're Tamar. You’re just fucking scheming to get sperm.” 

“I like what it comes in, too.” 

“Good thing I have that tool.” 

“Which is why I called. I’m horney and you’ve not been keeping up with your ketubah commitments.” 

“Since when are you religious?” 

“Since forever but it did get charged up after your whole Talmud debate the other day.” 

Judah smirked, “Oh, really? That got you wet?” 

She gave a sultry look, “Dripping.” 

“So, I guess your filthy panties are soaked through?” 

“Uh huh. I had to take them off already.” 

“Already?” 

“Yeah.” Her baby voice made his cock hurt, 

“I don’t believe you. You should show me.” 

She stood up wearing a pink crushed velvet robe that looked very much like a wrap dress. Her legs moved together, her hip popped out. She slowly, teasingly revealed her naked hip while covering her sex. Her breasts were full and nipples pert through the fabric. Judah wished he was there to tear into her. 

He swallowed, “I wanted to see more.” 

“More?” Her voice was teasing and innocent. 

“Yeah, bitch. I said more.” 

“Say pretty please.” 

He grimaced, “No.” 

She ran her fingers up her exposed hip and then to the tie of her robe. Her arm pressed under her breast pushing them up more. Her lips were parted and he knew she was playing it up. She made a small, feminine and vulnerable noise in the back of her throat that he lived for. “Say pretty please.” 

Judah knew if he gave in this early she’d take him for all he was worth, “No.” 

“For the love of HaShem, say something other than no!” Ori was standing behind him, wet from his shower and a towel around his waist. He had always been a quiet one but Judah’s level of trust with him had allowed him to even forget he was there. Aviva saw the shock on his face, “Sorry man.” 

She raised an eyebrow and cleared her throat, “Um, sorry? You’re sorry to him?” Judah exhaled and Ori heard the tone in her voice, “Oh, ma’am, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to see or anything!” 

She smirked, “That’s okay. Apparently, Judah didn’t care. It’s not like he’s viewing from a secure place. Why don’t you step on over?” 

Ori stepped into view and Aviva whistled, “Damn, Judah. Is this why you’ve not been calling?” 

Judah grew flustered and annoyed, “I have been at war!” 

She winked at Ori, “Are you _the_ Ori?” 

He nodded, blushing from head to toe, “You’re his…” 

She gave a terse look to Judah, “Wife.” 

Ori burst into emotion, ‘ARE YOU SERIOUS!? BROTHER! I ENVIED YOU IN ISRAEL THAT YOU HAD SUCH A BEAUTIFUL GIRL BUT I DIDN’T KNOW SHE WAS YOUR FIANCE OR GIRLFRIEND!” 

“She wasn’t.” 

“What?!” 

“She used me for sperm.” 

“YOU HAVE A CHILD!?” 

“Gaia.” 

“HELL! THAT’S YOUR KID WITH HER!? SHE HAD A KID WITH YOU?!” 

“She used me for sperm and sex.” 

Aviva rolled her eyes, “You were willing.” 

Ori couldn’t believe it, 

”BUT NOW YOU’RE MARRIED!” 

“Yeah, now she’s my wife for life.” 

Aviva smiled, echoing him, “Wife for life.” She held up a peace sign and gave him an air kiss. 

Ori was still smiling with delight, “Damn.” 

“So, Ori,” her voice was smooth like butter, “how did you find out I was his “girl?” 

Ori explained that Judah would check his phone in the field when they were on duty together and he’d spend his time looking at pictures of some gorgeous girl. Then, one day, he finally asked if she was his “girl” or some random girl he was stealing pictures of and that was it. Ori and Aviva spoke longer about Judah’s behavior. 

“He used to disappear and I guess that was so he could...you know...do this with you.” Ori whistled, “I don’t blame him.” 

“Well, I mostly wanted him to see his daughter.” 

Judah was quietly sitting to the side, “How are you?” 

She nodded, “Little Yehuda is still making me sick but it seems like it’s only every other day now.” 

“Little Yehuda? Woah, are you expecting a son!?” 

He hugged Judah and gave him pats on the back, “Mazel TOV!” 

Judah pawed him off, ‘She’s crazy. It’s a girl.” 

“I would think a woman would know.” Ori lightly chastised him. 

Aviva smiled, ‘He hates that I’m right about everything.” 

Judah snorted, “We’ll know in a few months.” 

Aviva laughed, “We sure will.” 

Judah cleared his throat, “Are we going to pick back up where we left off or?” 

“You want to?” Her voice was sultry and sweet. Ori blushed more but Judah kicked it up, “You know I want to, baby girl.” 

“I don’t know. How do I know you're serious?” 

Judah’s voice was gruff, “I don’t know. What does a demoness like you require? Blood, bone, and sinew?” 

Ori turned to head back to his pack and change. He pulled on his clothes and thought about how he was going to handle sharing a bed with Judah while he had sex with his wife. 

“I think you should kiss Ori. He’s pretty hot and it’d get me going. I know how you love sharing germs with people.” 

She was downright sadistic and Ori couldn’t help but laugh. 

He’d been with Judah long enough to know how he didn’t fuck with no germs and he liked _women._

“Aviva, are you fucking insane?!” 

She shrugged, “I guess you’re not serious.” 

Judah sulked, “Bitch.” 

Ori didn’t really get their “talk.” 

So, he decided to try and help his buddy get laid. 

Aviva watched as Ori leaned in view and kissed Judah on the cheek, “And let there be sex!” 

He went back to his side of the bed and Judah smirked despite himself, “You good?” 

She nodded, ‘Yeah, I’m good.” Gaia started crying, “But, Gaia isn’t. I’m scared she might be sick. That cry is different. Bye, bastard.” 

She hung up and Judah groaned. 

Ori laid down on the bed, “Sorry man.” 

Judah put his stuff up and changed before laying down in the bed with him. “All I’m going to worry about is my little girl.” 

Ori tched, “Damn.” 

Judah moved his hands up and down his stomach, “Ask whatever you want to ask, Ori. I can feel you percolating.” 

“Why do you call your wife “bitch?” 

“It’s…..we….talk like that to each other. We’ve hated each other our entire life. Habits die hard.” 

“Wait, what? Do you hate your wife?” 

“No! I…. don’t hate my wife at all. She calls me bastard and I call her bitch sometimes still. It’s just how we...express ourselves.” Judah tried to explain their life. He showed Ori wedding pictures and filled in gaps he’d previously left unfilled out of pure fear that something would ruin their carefully crafted world. He even confided that his daughter was at risk of being kidnapped and the horrible experience they’d been through. 

Ori listened to it all, “And now she’s pregnant and you’re going to have a son. You’ll have completed your mitzvah.” 

Judah frowned, “It’s a girl. Plus, I have a feeling she won’t stop at two.” 

“How many does she want?” 

“God, I don’t know.” 

“How many do you want?” 

“Ori, I’ll have as many as she wants. I’m just….whatever I can do that pleases her and keeps her happy and makes her decide to stay then I’ll do it.” 

“Wow, Judah...you really love her.” 

“I really do.” 

Judah looked over at him, “So, now, shut the fuck up. I have news for you in the morning so don’t go anywhere early. Just get some extra sleep and wait for me.” 

Ori was concerned, “Okay.” 

He rolled over but had a thought, “How does Commander Arlert keep us safe?” 

Judah spoke slowly, “I don’t know. I don’t want to know. Vati does what he has to do.” 

Ori rolled over to face Judah. He pulled the covers up, “Do you wonder where the people are that lived in this house?” 

... 

... 

... 

Judah swallowed, “All the time.”


	190. Numbers

Judah moved over in the bed and listened to Ori’s conversation. He tried to make sense of it and soon realized he was on the phone with his Schaddchen (matchmaker). He hung up and Judah sat up, “How did it go?” 

Ori smiled a little, “You were a good reference.” 

“I lied about my profession. I was worried.” 

“Wait, you did?” 

“Yep. I said I was an accountant.” 

“Isn’t that what you are?” 

“Are you serious, Ori?” 

“Yeah, I don’t think you’ve ever told me what your profession is if it’s not that.” 

Judah started to laugh, “Oh shit, well, I own a strip club and sex shop. Now, my brother-in-law wants us to do a concert venue and if I know him, he’ll beat me down till I accept.” 

Ori laughed, “Zev is your brother-in-law, right? Shit, yeah, he’ll get his way. However, I think that’s more you letting him have his way because you actually like him.” 

Judah frowned, “He sucks ass.” 

Ori shrugged, “Maybe? Ask your sister.” 

Judah punched his arm and handed him a clipboard, “Sign this.” 

Ori seemed confused and looked at it, “It’s in...English.” 

“Just sign. It’s not a trap.” 

Ori signed it where he saw his name in Hebrew letters below. Judah took the paper off the top as they changed. 

Out on the streets, Judah ran into Jean, “Hey, Judah, where are your parents?” 

Judah blinked, his tone deadpanned, “Am I their keeper?” 

Jean bristled, “You’re such a fucking brat. Listen, last night there was an attack and we need to have a meeting before we take the second wall.” 

Ori didn’t speak a lot of English but he knew “ fucking” and “attack” and “brat” for sure. That was fifty percent of an Ackermann’s vocabulary. “Yalla, yalla!” (Go, go) He grabbed Judah’s shirt and motioned to Jean that they would follow. Jean nodded and they went towards HQ. 

Eren and Levi were there along with the others. Erwin’s face was grim and Armin looked numb, “We had severe losses last night when our defenses fell. There was a breach in the safe zone. Not a huge one but enough that those who were near the breach were destroyed completely. We started with twenty-six brigades and now we have thirteen or fourteen. Cesare is going to go home and is going to give samples to Mila since he’s had the sickness and Nikko is busy here.” 

Erwin had to choose his words carefully, “Gio’s brigade was hit last night. He is wounded and in the hospital at the ghetto in Louisiana. We moved him in the dead of night and didn’t tell Marco or Jean because it was such a risky move.” 

Marco looked like he might vomit, “What?!” 

Jean flew into a rageful fit. 

Armin’s head snapped up, “He is the only one we took! Do you know what that looks like?!” 

Marco was crying. He looked at Armin pleadingly, “He must be hurt badly.” 

Armin swallowed thickly, “He lost part of a leg. Maybe more. Maybe an eye. We’re not sure. It was dark and we just had to get him stable and out of there.” 

Marco wiped his face and looked around the room, “I want Cesare to bring him home to Mila. I want Oskar and Mila to take care of him. Make it happen.” 

Armin and Marco exchanged a tense glance, “Okay.” 

Marco spat, “Can I go now? Just give me the packet and I’ll read it.” 

Armin gave him his orders and he left with Jean on his heels. Ori didn’t understand half of what had happened except for “ghetto, night, hospital, Gio, and home.” Gisela and Zev entered looking cut up and wounded. She was literally the most beautiful woman in the world and his chest fluttered. 

Judah groaned and Uzi and Asher watched their owners with interest. Judah clutched his head, “I feel so ill.” 

He said it in Hebrew to Ori softly. Ori saw Gisela look ill. She came to stand with them, looking green and tired. Zev held her hand and kept his head down. Erwin’s voice was commanding, “Of the thirteen brigades left, we’ve lost twenty percent of each and that means they’re all leaner and more stressed. We need more people and are waiting on a call from Alexi, Lilly, and Bellamy.” 

Maxim and Ilya coughed. They had had a hard two weeks and were feeling under the weather. “Can we request that some of the tribe here in Maria come?” Erwin received it poorly and Ilya grew disgruntled. Maxim exchanged a look with Levi and decided to push. 

“Erwin, they’re clean.” 

Erwin looked at Maxim pointedly, “They’re in the ghetto, safe, and even if they could come we don’t have enough weapons.” 

Armin gave Maxim a sympathetic look, “It’s something we can revisit.” 

Levi changed the conversation, “What’s the plan today, Commander?” 

Erwin’s neck twitched at the sound of Levi’s voice. David and Mikasa were sitting together with Hanji near the windows looking out and thinking. David flinched at the look Mikasa gave him to not involve himself. 

Erwin sat back, “Right now, we focus on who is left: Wolf brigade (Zev), Goat Brigade (Gisela), Freedom Brigade (Ezra), Lion Brigade (Judah), Justice Brigade (Yoni), Stag Brigade (Tuvia), and then Survey Corps. That’s it. We're all that’s left. Augustine Brigade (Gio) is gone and so is Rome Brigade (Cesare). Battleship Brigade by Keita is a shadow brigade that aids Justice. They were already a specialty and have dwindled from 30 to 10. That’s over 200 men lost just in those alone. We’ve lost now close to 500 men and women over a month of fighting in close quarters with the enemy.” 

I propose that we consolidate our men into a triangular formation. We’re the point but we’re not the lead. I propose that we move out with the base towards the door, then, as we close in, we as the point invert and burst forth. We will then have out squads on the side meet back up at the center and enter with us.” 

Gisela and Zev exchanged worried looks. 

They didn’t like that plan in it’s entirety, “Daddy?” 

Gisela forgot herself, “I mean, Commander Smith. I’m not sure just pulling in the corners is going to work.” 

Erwin summed her up, “I appreciate your concern Captain Smith but I’m older and have been doing this longer. It’ll work.” 

She didn’t react but Judah felt her bristle. 

Zev didn’t care for the rebuke either. 

They discussed the mission more and then parted ways. 

When they left, Zev, Ori, Judah, and Gisela excited and prepared for morning roll call and then to teach the plan. They would only have two hours before they needed to command their men. 

Gisela vomited and was quickly followed by Judah. Uzi whimpered and licked their hands. Judah sat down, sharing his water with his sister. He felt lightheaded, nauseous, moody, and bloated, “Do you think we have some sort of virus?” 

Gisela covered her mouth, “Yeah, we must. We share water all the time.” 

“What about Zev?” 

“We’ve kissed but nothing else. And I don’t mean kissing with passion. We have no time. You and I have been able to spend more physical time together in the field when our brigades work together.” 

Judah nodded, “It’s the weirdest feeling.” 

She nodded, too. 

After a while she seemed to have a sudden epiphany, “Oh, it’s mental probably. I mean, I don’t have diarrhea and it’s this odd sickness that began about three weeks ago in serious. We’ve been so upset and seeing our parents the way they are and in the field now. It's all pretty upsetting. I think we’re making ourselves sick and feeding off each other.” 

She opened her phone, “We may be sharing a type of imagined sickness and feeding off of each other. A shared psychosis.” 

Judah groaned, “You and David.” 

She called just him, “Uncle David? I need you to come here. I’m not sure Judah and I are fit to serve together.” 

Judah jerked, “You wouldn’t dare! I need you now more than ever!” 

She was pained by her choice too, “I know but we could honestly lose our minds and do some devastating things if we go in an even more negative direction.” Judah took her hand, pleading with her silently. 

Ori and Zev spoke quietly till Ori turned on his heels, “Judah?! Why is Zev saying I am in his unit?!” 

Zev held the board up, “You were transferred. You signed this?” 

Ori nodded but turned back to Judah. He wouldn’t meet his gaze. 

“Why Judah?!” 

Judah didn’t answer and Ori kept on. Finally, he reached his breaking point, “Because you’re weighing me down! Now, shut up and learn your role in Zev’s brigade!” 

He got up to leave but David placed a hand on his shoulder, “Come now. Talk to your uncle.” David smiled brightly and Gisela stood. Asher pressed against her and growled. 

Zev kissed her, “Be safe, my love.” 

She rolled her eyes, “You Smiths are so weak.” 

David smirked and gave Zev a sympathetic look, “She’s not wrong.” 

Zev kissed her again, “Be nice to me.” 

She popped his arm, “Never. You’d be so unhappy.” 

Ori frowned, “I didn’t realize I was such a hinderance.” 

Zev frowned, too. But, for other reasons. 

* 

* 

* 

Bullets whizzed by and screams from those caught by the MTs echoed against the buildings. It was hell on earth. Spring brought heat and heat brought discomfort in tight armoured clothes. Levi and Eren’s groups moved seamlessly across the pavement down between buildings while the other groups did their duty. 

What was so horrible was that there were Reiss members not under the control of the virus that in turn created new MTs out of each other or the regular townspeople when they suffered heavy losses. They were trained soldiers with endless abilities with weapons. 

Levi was slammed against the wall as bullets whizzed by. 

He was hit in the side. 

He grit his teeth. 

_Shit!_

He heard Eren yell orders to those still alive to get down. 

Levi looked down. 

The bullet was lodged in his skin and he was bleeding out. 

_Fuck!_

He looked up at the sky as it opened up. 

Rain. 

His earphones hung limply as the music played on loud enough for him to hear. 

_Shit adds up, shit adds up, shit adds up…._

_You see me naked now_

_Fearless now_

_Nothing now_

_I’m dead_

_Inside_

He pushed off the wall and took up his rifle. 

Eren was spraying down a few MTs but one got a good chunk out of his shoulder. 

Levi was there in seconds. 

He took one look at Eren’s wounds and his eyes glinted. 

Vengeance was swift. 

Eren got the signal to move forward. 

They needed to get to the gate! 

The other brigades were suffering under Erwin’s orders. Armin was cringing at the bodies that littered the streets with their men on it. 

Erwin kept his focus and called them forward. 

Gisela turned to her men and took a swift count. She saw the snipers in the windows taking them down one by one. Erwin’s plan was majorly flawed. 

She thought to herself, _what man has his men turn their backs on the enemy and expect them to not be shot?_

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a green flair. She shot it and her men turned on their heels, embedding in their position and pulling their guns up and ready. A few produced metal shields of some sort. They formed a wall with the gunmen protected. She steadied herself, “MOVE!” 

They moved backwards, gunmen finding loosely created hole from which they shot MTs and Reiss soldiers moving after them as they advanced towards the gate backwards. 

When they got to the gate, Eren slammed into a pack of MTs viciously tearing into them. He was followed by Mikasa who acted as a wingman while Erwin and Armin planted the bombs to blow the gate open. Hanji was looking at Levi but there was no time to pause. She and David had to hold their position and aid those still alive. 

There was a sudden explosion. 

Gisela screamed. 

More shots were fired and Ezra threw a grenade as asphalt flew through the air. 

Jean and Marco were running towards Gisela but she was running towards the explosion. 

The gate suddenly shuddered and was engulfed in flames. 

Gun fire rained down from the top of the wall. 

Suddenly, Eren and another soldier scaled the wall with remade versions of the vertical maneuvering gear. 

Levi tried to follow but was overwhelmed with MTs trying to get at Armin. 

Suddenly, a rope was around Armin’s torso. 

Soldiers were on him in seconds and he was being drug up the wall. 

Erwin screamed, gun out and smoking. 

Levi was almost there but Erwin got there first. He was manic and attempting to get Armin free. There were shots and then suddenly a shadow moved over the wall. It caught Levi’s attention and set his nerves on edge. 

__

_Eren_

Levi’s hooks sprung into the face of the wall as he climbed. Jean was nearby and followed by Marco. Levi’s jaw was clenched as he neared the edge. He knew Eren was up top and rushing headfirst into trouble. 

It was his frustrating gift. 

Levi’s heart clenched painfully at the thought something could have happened to him. 

He made it to the top and spun over the edge. His gun slammed into a Reiss Soldier before he pulled the trigger. 

Eren was locked in hand to hand with- 

_Reiner_

Levi noted the man flanking him. 

His anger boiled at the sight of him. 

Lt. Avery Miller had a not so secret admiration for Eren. It had seemed benign enough until Levi caught him on his knees sucking Eren off in one of the houses they bunked in. His admiration had turned to obsession and he refused to leave Eren’s side. 

Levi just wished an MT would rip his throat out. 

Eren stabbed into Reiner’s rib cage but Reiner’s headbutt knocked Eren down. His world was spinning as he tried to stand up. Reiner heard a whistle and tore himself away from Eren reluctantly. Eren screamed, scrambling forward towards him. 

Levi saw the grenade as it popped up and down on the stone. 

It was so close to Eren. 

He knew Eren wasn’t going to let it stop him in his last ditch attempt to get Reiner and rip him apart. Levi had to grit his teeth and know that he was about to piss off possibly the most bratty of all brats in the world just to save his life. 

Eren was so close to Reiner, his mouth open in a scream, arms outstretched with a knife now brandished when he was slammed to the ground, rolled, and then pushed even further away. 

The large explosion caused him to go momentarily deaf. 

There was chaos all around and smoke. 

Eren sputtered, dust and smoke in his lungs. 

He was pissed beyond words. 

He saw Levi, at least ten feet away, curled in on himself and not moving. 

Eren moved over to him, prepared to beat the shit out of him for preventing him from going after Reiner properly. 

But, as he got closer, he saw the blood. 

Shrapnel pitted Levi’s back. 

They’d been unable to import any serum in and the last had run out two weeks ago. Gio’s leg would have to rely on Marco’s mutation but what was going to happen to Levi? 

Eren wiped the soot from his face, leaning over him in an attempt to protect him. 

“Levi! Levi! Wake up! Wake up and talk to me!” 

He hit Levi’s face over and over again till his eyes fluttered. Levi started to cough. Blood was now in Eren’s hands. He thought about it quickly. 

He had one last dose hidden in his kit he left with Yoni. 

How would he get Levi there? 

Levi’s eyes were glassy and his breathing was sporadic. 

Eren pulled him into his arms, “LEVI!” 

Hanji was there with Mikasa, “Eren!” 

Eren grabbed Mikasa’s hand, “Yoni has part of my med pack with him. GO GET IT, NOW!” 

Mikasa scooted back before turning around and yelling at David, “YONI HAS EREN’S MED PACK! WE HAVE TO GET IT!” 

David slid on his heels to a stop before doing an about face. He looked over the wall, “YONI! UP HERE!” 

The screaming was endless. 

The gunfire numbed the senses. 

Hot sun beat down on them. 

The wind howled. 

The trees bent. 

There was an oppressive silence emanating from the sky. 

_Where was God?_

* 

* 

* 

Cesare felt his stomach sink as he walked through the ghetto hospital. They needed so many things and space was limited. He watched as people had surgeries in closets and hallways. Blood soaked rags were burned. Sterilization had been relegated to wards in the hospital, which was a good thing, but they were running out of tools and ways to sterilize them. 

He needed to get Gio and take him back to Maria. 

A nurse told him she’d take him to Mr. Kirschstein. Apparently, there was no time for hyphens. She seemed happy to be taking him to him, “Mr. Kirschstein is a very positive man. I am sure he will overcome anything life hands him.” She opened the door to a long room with colorful hand made pictures and white linens. 

She turned to smile, “Gio is a big hit with the children so we moved him to the children’s ward.” Cesare heard his brother’s laugh and soon they were at his bed where all the children were drawing and making their crafts with him. Cesare looked down at him and smiled a relieved smile, “He’s a big hit with everyone, honestly.” 

******* 

The doctor shuffled his papers and handed them to an assistant. They were back in Maria at the newly renamed hospital. Jaeger just wasn’t something any of them wanted to be associated with now. Ackermann would do just fine. 

The doctor was their same old reliable doctor who knew their mutations well and had worked with Vadimas these last few years in close quarters as a specialist in all things Ackermann-Jaeger-Smith-Kirschstein-Bodt. 

He didn’t have good news, “I’m sorry, Gio. But, it looks like the leg isn’t going to grow back. You do not seem to carry the mutation.” 

Cesare wanted to vomit. He started to cry but Gio merely sighed, “Well, I guess that’s that.” 

Cesare couldn’t understand how his brother could be so resigned. 

“Gio!” 

Gio took his hand. His brother was now making _HIM_ feel better. Cesare felt even more like a piece of shit. Gio gave a kind smile, “It could be worse, really. I mean, it’s just a leg and really it’s not the whole thing. In this day and age, it’ll be hard but there are prosthetics.” 

The doctor groaned, “Well, not really. You’d need more removed to qualify for one.” 

Gio frowned, “When would that surgery need to be scheduled?” 

“No!” 

Cesare stood up, “NO! Not now! No! Please, Gio, please! I can’t let them cut more of you. Let me think of something, please! Please, please, please!” 

Cesare knew he was acting like a baby but he couldn’t help it. The doctor said he’d need to heal before another surgery anyway and to just go home and get some rest. 

Gio had purchased a [townhouse](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/af/41/f8/af41f8ae01274909ab460fd5bd086b7f.jpg) in the same row as Cesare and Ezra. Cesare helped Gio up the stairs and into his new home. He’d barely moved in when Keita got sick. 

Gio looked around at his house ([1](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/ab/ca/a3/abcaa3dd473bb6cf2814fb728af3071c.jpg)[2](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/88/87/4f/88874f3908b8076b85f5e6e9b166471a.jpg)[3](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/3f/e5/40/3fe540b497c8b4467f59a1437f999394.jpg)[4](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/7c/f7/37/7cf73728ffc5224fbfae6cfbc958d3fc.jpg)[5](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/68/d5/12/68d51261de4654e4b95f8db3bfd4cd5b.jpg)[6](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/6d/92/63/6d92636afd9a4640c78bf633e2d89ee4.jpg)) as they went past the [kitchen](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/31/56/28/315628dfa4fa1e61a43ef77e4a831ce4.jpg) and up to his [bedroom](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/a0/c9/d9/a0c9d97bda595289bf6b8568cdf91556.jpg). Gio wanted a shower and to change. Cesare had no idea what he needed but he just committed himself to helping as best he could. He helped him shower and change in silence. 

Gio asked to be taken back to the living room where he practiced on his crutches till he was tired. He sat down and took Cesare’s hand, “I love you and I think you’re the best brother in the world. But, you need to go home and check on your house, feed your cat,” he chuckled lightly, “and see your son.” 

Cesare’s heart longed for his son. 

“Okay,” he reluctantly agree, “but I’m coming back to check on you.” Gio nodded, “Send Nonni and Nonna. They cook and are a blast.” 

Cesare nodded and left. 

Gio sat quietly looking around his house. He frowned, his emotions catching up with him. He looked at his phone and saw Europa’s name. 

He picked up the call, “Hello?” 

He wiped his face which had become wet with tears, “No, _Patatina_ (little potato). I am alright. There’s no need to come over. I am fine and Cesare just left.” 

What Gio didn’t know is that Cesare _had_ sent her text telling her to go over and not take no for answer. 

After he hung up, he pulled a blanket across his lap and fell asleep to the sound of the TV. 

*** 

“Giovanni?” Her voice was soft and gentle. She smoothed her hand across his face and smelled like fine perfume. He opened his eyes and saw the most beautiful woman in the world. Europa smiled, “I have missed you so much.” 

She leaned down and surprised herself with how she kissed him. 

Gio smirked against her lips. She pulled back and gave him a quick pop on the shoulder. He chuckled, “I should go away more.” 

She crawled into his lap, whispering as she took his face between her hands, “I’m strongly against that.” 

Europa and Gio kissed more before his tears came. 

She wiped them away, whispering softly, “What’s wrong, Giovanni?” 

He told her everything. 

She said she loved him and it was all going to be okay. 

*** 

Cesare went to Mila and Nikko’s house where Ilan was that day. Sometimes Aviva kept him and sometimes Mila. Sasha and Connie were trying to secure packages to be delivered outside of the ghetto to their parents. 

He wanted his son. 

Lylah and Ilan were napping when he got there. Mila was working with Mike while Oskar spoke to her on skype. He was at the hospital and looked tired. Mila was taking notes and Cesare decided to quietly observe and not intrude. 

He had a key and she knew he’d be coming home today. 

When Mike turned around he jerked, “Um, hello.” 

He seemed awkward and unsure what to do. 

Cesare held his hand up and waved slightly, “I’m here for Ilan.” 

Mike smiled, ‘Awww he’s a good kid and smells awesome. I hate to see him leave. Let me get his bag.” 

Mila turned slightly and waved at Cesare. She was really working hard. 

Oskar saw him, “How is Hanji?” 

Cesare gave a reassuring look, “She’s good….she’s good.” 

Oskar looked upset, “I heard about Gio.” 

“What about Gio?!” Mila turned to look at Cesare and he gave her the sad news. She looked on the verge of tears, “What about trying the serum now?!” 

“Something about the mutation rejecting it. I dunno. It looks like….” Cesare broke down. Mila went to him and Mike made tea. They would try and take care of him before he went home to take care of a child. 

* 

* 

* 

Levi’s lungs were burning. He felt like he was on fire. There was a pounding in his head and his skin felt like it was made of melted plastic. He could feel his clothes on his skin and they stung and stuck. His lungs, his lungs, _his lungs!_

He took a shuddering, pitiful breath. 

He was sputtering blood now all over the cot he was on. 

There was no relief. There was no hope. He begged for morphine to at least fade away into nothing in peace! 

Hanji’s hands covered her mouth as she wept. 

“Levi, just...oh God, just please stop screaming!” 

He had wondered who was yelling. 

Guess that mystery was solved. 

Levi’s entire existence was culminating in a single moment where he knew he was going to die. 

He whimpered, “Eren.” 

Eren’s hand was already in his. He’d been gripping it so tightly it was turning purple. He leaned over him, tears in his eyes, “Levi!” 

Levi looked him in the eyes and reached up to touch him. Eren’s eyes were shining from tears. Levi’s throat was closing up. He didn’t have long, “Eren, I love you.” 

Eren let out an animalistic noise that was a mix of frustration and weakness, “No! No! Stop saying that!” 

Levi nodded as he coughed up more blood. It was nearly causing him to drown, “I am dying.” 

Eren sobbed, clutching his hand to his face, “No!” It was a long wail. He sobbed more but Levi tried to comfort him. 

“Eren, ahuvi, my soul-” he took a strangled breath, “is tearing itself out of my body. I am returning to the Creator. It’s how it's supposed to be. I will meet the Creator with my unending love for our life. It’s going to be fine. I just want you to know I love you so much. _I love you._ I love you with my everything. I love you more than God and I don’t even feel shame for it. I love you. I love you so much, Eren.” 

_I love you._

* 

* 

* 

Gisela was shaking. 

Her legs were failing her. 

She had vomited so much already. 

Zev was on the ground beside her, his head in his hands. 

How had things gone so wrong and yet, right? 

Judah’s drunken steps made her look up. 

Ori was helping him walk. 

Yoni and the others were gathering and they would lead the talk. 

Erwin’s face was colorless and emotionless when they entered. Zev began speaking. 

“We’ve suffered over 65 percent loss. The brigades will be reconfigured and those assignments will post tomorrow. If you have requests of specific people for your groups, you may submit those to Yoni and Tuvia for consideration. We are calling in Keita’s brigade from the shadows and we are consolidating ammo and guns. We’re running out of supplies and food is iffy.” 

We can’t keep taking from the homes we’re in because there may be some sort of tampering now that we’re this close to the center. Let us review this last mission before we move on to the next.” 

Gisela held up her clipboard and called the names of the dead. She then explained that the brigades broke the rules and performed and emergency maneuver. They turned around and blocked the rear as they moved in towards the gates. This was not what they were instructed to do and it took exactly three extra minutes of battle time to do it right. This had not been factored into Commander Smith’s itinerary and the punishment was up to him. 

Gisela then read the missing. 

She came to the last name, “Captain Arlert.” 

She could barely swallow after she said the name. 

Armin and Erwin’s fight had worried the children. Armin swore Arlert was just because there was already confusion with Commander Erwin Smith the father and Commander Zev Smith the son. They agreed to specify by adding first names when speaking about a different Commander or both in the same conversation. Captain Ackermann also caused confusion but at least his daughter was now Captain Smith and that’s what led Armin, supposedly, to using Arlert. 

Erwin’s eyes were red from tears and he could not speak. He had screamed so much and so violently he’d lost his voice. 

Gisela inhaled, “Captain Arlert has been taken by the Reiss. He was seen being ripped away by Reiner Braun. He was unconscious, suffering from a severe head wound. He is a critical piece of this story and we must ensure we get him back safely and alive. He is our focus. Not just taking the wall down. It won’t do us any good if he is dead and lost.” 

They outlined a plan but they lacked supplies and men. How could they do this without bodies and guns? A man walked in and whispered to Zev updates. 

Zev took over, “Captain Levi Ackermann will not make it through the night. This means that we will be down an Original. This is not good news but we must not let defeatism creep in and grip us like it is trying to do.” 

He finished his meeting and gave orders. Due to other updates, he changed plans knowing they would be hotly contested among those left. 

They would not move out tomorrow morning. 

Erwin fainted in his chair, upright and stiff. 

The emotional blows were too much. 

Judah and Gisela doubled over in sorrowful agony. 

Tuvia checked his father and eventually got him to wake up. 

Erwin demanded to be taken to his Lee. 

Yoni, Tuvia, and Ezra went with him while Zev held his wife and pulled her brother to his chest. He was choking on his own anxiety. 

Ori didn’t know what to do as he left. He felt someone tug on his arm, “Ori?” 

David looked gaunt, “I need you to do something for me. I have to go to my brother. I have to.” 

He handed him a piece of paper and Ori swore to do what it said. 

David was crying as he turned to leave. 

Mikasa called to him and Ori ran quickly to find a landline before the dinner rush occurred and ears were out to hear. 

* 

* 

* 

Eren’s face looked like a corpse. Tears streamed endlessly down his face. His lips quivered. They were parted because he could no longer breathe through his nose. Blitzen whimpered and cried next to him. Levi was sedated but still coughing and drowning in his own blood. 

The serum was hurting him. 

The serum wasn’t healing him. 

Eren looked at his husband -his lover, his best friend, his protector, his co-parent, the father of his children, his very **soul!** \- on the gurney and asked of himself _Why?_

Levi gurgled, his chest heaved. 

Hanji was beside herself working. 

She knew it was hopeless but she had to try something, anything. 

No one knew what was going on and why things were happening the way they were. 

David and Mikasa appeared. Mikasa offered to help Hanji if she could. David kissed Levi’s head and prayed over him for a while. 

Eren reached into Levi’s front pocket and took out his talmud, “Tell me what this says.” 

David took the book, “Can’t you?” 

Eren gave a shameful look, “I want to know what he’s been reading and rereading since we got out here.” 

David nodded and translated the passage Levi had dogeared at the corner. David seemed amused but even more sad. 

“He underlined this portion: 

וְאֵ֖לֶּה בְּנֵ֣י שׁוּתָ֑לַח לְעֵרָ֕ן מִשְׁפַּ֖חַת הָעֵרָנִֽי׃ 

These are the descendants of Shuthelah: Of Eran, the clan of the Eranites. 

I think he’s interested in this commentary. Do you know Rashi?” 

Eren nodded, “I know who Rashi is.” 

David smiled, “Of course you do. Levi loves Rashi. Well, here is Rashi’s commentary: 

ואלה בני שותלח וגו׳ AND THESE ARE THE SONS OF SHUTHELAH etc. — As for the other sons of Shuthelah their offspring were called after Shuthelah’s name; but out of Eron there issued a large family which was therefore called after his own name so that the children of Shuthelah were reckoned as two different families (the family of Shuthelah and the family of Eron). — Go and reckon and you will find in this section fifty seven families, and of the sons of Levi eight, so that there are sixty five in all. This is the meaning of what is said, (Deuteronomy 7:6): “For you are the least (המעט) [of all the peoples etc.].” The word המעט may be taken to signify: you are five (ה) less (מעט) than the families of all the nations, who are seventy in number.” 

David snorted, “And let’s hear what Chizkuni has to say about what Rashi says: 

ואלה בני שותלח, “and these are the sons of Shutelach, etc.; Rashi invites us to count all the families listed arriving at a count of 57 families for the 12 (13) tribes of plus eight families from the tribe of Levi. Actually, a look at our portion shows that the tribe of Levi comprised only 5 and a half families.” 

David smiled as he finished reading. He let his fingers caress the pages. He looked at Levi, “So, you were reading about your beschert’s (destined’s) biblical prophecy and how it lines up with your own. Well, I’d say you two are perfect for each other. Eren and you have five families. Lavi, Ackermann, Smith, Kirschstein-Bodt, and Aristov-Nebetov. But, I think you should now turn your obsession back to your beschert and how you want to _live_ for him and your families.” 

Eren reached out to touch Levi’s face. It had barely changed since he’d met him. There were a few fine lines and he tended to get aches in his bad leg more often but other than that, Captain Levi Ackermann was still on top of the world. So, what was happening? 

Eren spoke to Levi in true words of the soul. In electic words that spurred on their mutual love and affection. He wove pictures of sound that enveloped Levi who was in the grip of white hot heat and blood gurgling screams. 

Levi heard Eren’s meaning when he couldn’t understand his words. 

Erwin joined in when he arrived. He bent down next to him, whispering his love to Levi with kindness and history. 

There was so much going on. Their kids were weepy and lethargic. 

Erwin kissed Levi and laid his head down next to him. He was gently speaking: 

_  
_

āy yārom biā (come, my dear) 

deldārom biā (come, my sweetheart) 

del mayle to dāre ( my heart desires you) 

sezāvārom biā (come, my worth) 

delbar jānome (my heart's soulmate) 

māhe tābānome (my shining moon) 

be pishe man (next to me) 

biā biā (come, come) 

az Badakhshānome (from Badakhshan) 

ārume jānome (the peace of my soul) 

be pishe man (next to me) 

biā biā (come, come) 

Levi’s hand twitched. 

He was in such horrible pain. 

He moved his hand for Erwin to take it. 

He couldn’t really speak, “Ahr-min?” 

Erwin covered his face, breaking down into sobs. 

Eren leaned closer. His reached out, his fingers lightly traced Levi’s lips, “I love you. I can’t live without you. I won’t live without you.” 

Levi’s voice was almost nothing, “Er-an.” 

Eren kissed Levi and their children heard their baba’s tone change. It was a tone he only used with their aba. 

His words made them tremble, “Do not urge me to leave you, to turn back and not follow you. For wherever you go, I will go; wherever you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried.” 

Levi’s hand gripped Erwin’s. He shuddered. He couldn’t breathe anymore. His lungs were full and his body burned. He reached up to Eren’s face to touch it one last time. He couldn’t really see. All he wanted was to be with Eren and to stay with him longer. 

Levi’s world was turning black and Eren could do nothing but cry and selfishly wish this was happening to anyone else other than Levi. 

Hanji was thinking and thinking. She was shaking. Something about the way Judah covered his ears to block out the choking noises and the way Gisela’s knees buckled as she clutched her chest gave Hanji a boost. 

She rolled Levi on his side and then- 

_Stab_

_Inhalation_

_The sound of liquid draining_

Levi clutched Eren’s shoulders, blood draining now out of his mouth as he coughed more between breaths. His coughing was violent and the way he continued to clutch Eren and pull him closer like these were his last minutes alive made it all the more upsetting. 

Eren wiped Levi’s mouth while crying. Levi just kept saying his name over and over till Hanji changed the container for another one. 

Black blood was pouring out of his lungs. 

Hanji made a strained noise and took a few vials. She tossed them to Nikko, “RUN TESTS!” 

Nikko’s legs were barely working and his mind was numb. Zev helped him and they went to test the blood, “I think it’s TB, Nikko!” 

Steam billowed out of Levi’s wounds in his back. It came out of his ears and mouth, too. Levi was like a scared child. He crawled into Eren’s lap and held onto him, pressing his face into the crook of his neck. Hanji was yelling and Erwin was trying to help her as Levi panicked and clutched onto Eren. 

He screamed in pain as Hanji kept draining the blood. 

* 

* 

* 

* 

* 

_In the past…_

Eren nervously chewed his fingernails while waiting beside the doors at the front of the dorm. He felt like his pants were too tight and his shirt just didn’t look good. In fact, it wasn’t even his. 

Jean had walked into the dorm room, slammed his bags down, and flopped on Armin who was underneath the covers of his bed. 

“OW! JEAN!” 

Jean jumped off of him, “Shit! Armin, I’m sorry! But, like, what the fuck do you expect when you’re hidden under mounds of ruffles!?” 

Armin sat up, flushed and upset, “I was _trying_ to sleep! I’ve been up studying and this is the only time I have!” 

Jean looked around, scratching his chin, “Friday afternoon?” 

Armin huffed, “A nap and then heat up some hot pockets and eat till I fall back asleep.” 

Jean hummed, “I want to join you.” 

Armin fell back on his bed, “Then get in.” 

Jean looked at Eren who was digging through his clothes and throwing them around the dorm room. He grew annoyed at Eren’s fervor and his growing mess. He climbed in the bed with Armin and tried to close his eyes and be blessed with Sleep’s seductive kiss when he felt Eren staring at them. 

He could feel his pout. 

Eren pouted more and harder. 

Jean grit his teeth and then clenched his fist. 

“JAEGER, STOP STARING!” 

“I NEED ARMIN’S HELP!” 

Armin was snoring softly. 

Jean could feel Eren getting closer. He grit the threatening words through his teeth, “LEAVE HIM ALONE!” 

He rolled out of the bed and squared off with Eren, “I just need something clean to wear.” 

Jean dug through his backpack, “HERE!” 

He tossed a shirt and some pants over and then climbed back in the bed, “Why do you need clean clothes?” 

Eren blushed but ducked his head to hide it. He mumbled, “I just do.” 

Eren was so nervous about his second date with Levi Ackermann. 

He was a god. He thought about the last time he saw him. 

_The way his eyes burned like the hottest fire while his mouth revealed marble white teeth between peach colored lips. His hair fell like ink and his scent filled the space around them with undertones of cool blue leather and vanilla powder._

Eren’s chest felt like it was swelling. 

He was soaring. 

His heart was beating. 

He nearly forgot to breathe before he saw the time. 

_“Shit!”_

He changed and ran downstairs to wait by the doors. 

Now, he was watching the cars go by with a lump in his throat. He had no idea what to say to Levi when he saw him, 

_Hey, so, can I have the answers to the lab midterm?_

He shook his head no. 

_Hey, bro. Cool muscles….and face._

Eren nearly screamed at himself. 

_Captain Ackermann, please spank me. I’ve been very naughty…._

His mind wandered with that one and he didn’t mind where it went. He didn’t realize his cheeks were as pink and flushed as they were nor did he know his eyes were glassy with the pupils blown wide. His breathing was deeper and slower, too. 

“Are you aroused in public, brat?” 

Levi was standing right next to him. 

Eren nearly jumped out of his skin, “SHIT!” 

He was startled and embarrassed beyond words. Levi chuckled, “Oh yeah, caught red handed.” 

He looked at [Levi](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/8d/ea/a8/8deaa8bdf2e10f072eabb9b886582125.jpg) and felt his mouth fill with saliva. “Um...w-w-where have you been?” 

Levi raised an eyebrow, “The gym.” 

Eren sputtered, “You work out in jeans?” 

Levi’s gaze was like being under a heat lamp, “I worked out, showered, and changed. It’s not a revolutionary concept.” 

Levi thought the way Eren’s hair messily blew in the wind was endearing and he couldn’t help but admire the brightness in his green eyes. His skin was so tan and soft like cashmere. He thought he was fragile yet volatile. 

Levi’s back heated up at the thought of his emotions over this little bratty ass kid. 

“Are we going to do this or what, kid?” 

_Smooth, Levi. Very smooth._

Levi wished he said it nicer. Eren smiled shyly, ‘Um, yes please.” 

_Damn, he’s fucking adorable._

Levi rolled his eyes and went inside of the dorms to get Donner. Eren followed obediently, hoping to get another glance at Levi’s room. 

Donner barked happily as he saw Levi. Levi’s hands smoothed through his fur as he leaned down to hug him. Eren watched as Levi’s muscles in his back tensed and relaxed with his movements. 

Erwin appeared, “Going out?” 

He leaned in the doorframe looking fondly at Levi. Eren felt a pang of fear and jealousy that there was something going on between them. Erwin waved at Eren, “Hello, Eren. Are things well with your classes?” 

Eren searched for the words, “Y-yes.” 

Levi groaned, “Why are you still a stuttering mess?” 

Eren didn’t know how to reply and Erwin broke the silence with a burst of laughter, “Lee, play nice. He’s fine.” He gave Eren a wink, “Hey, how is Armin?” 

Eren smirked, “Tired. He’s taking a nap and planning on eating hot pockets all night till he passes out again. Jean’s hiding from his roommate with him.” 

Erwin seemed to think about this information, “Thank you, Eren. I hope you have fun doing whatever Lee’s come up with.” 

Levi grabbed some papers and a different wallet. 

Eren wanted desperately to know why he was a man who needed two separate receptacles for money. Was one more important? Had more money? Were there cards with holes punched so much so that he thought he was going to max them out tonight? Eren wasn’t much into coupons but Armin sure was. 

Levi nicked his head, “Come on, kid. Don’t just stand here and let Erwin bore you to death.” 

Erwin chuckled, “Aww, Lee.” 

Eren went out to the parking lot with Levi who had such swag all the other students that walked by parted for them like the red sea. In fact, Donner was almost swaggalicious, too. Eren was trying to contain himself but he really couldn’t anymore. 

Levi stopped at the passenger side of the car and turned around. He saw Eren on the ground, his face pressed against the side of Donners, and his hands running through his fur. Donner looked ecstatic. His tongue rolled out and he looked like he was smiling. That baby pink tongue against such dark black made for an amusing picture. Levi’s neck twitched as did the corner of his mouth. 

_So fucking shitty and cute._

“Get in the car and,” he looked absolutely offended, “shit, you’re covered in dirt.” Levi grumbled heading to the back to open it. He got out a small towel he carried around for gym use. He put it down on the seat and Eren sat down, mumbling an apology for being dirty. Levi drove them to a bar that had food. 

It was nicer and the people there were dressed up from getting off work. Eren felt out of place with his own clothing but he kept trying to put it off. He’d forgotten to wash his clothes and kept putting it off hoping Armin would just do it. Dr. Ackermann gave him a one-over and then tched, “Are you wearing new clothes?” 

Eren blinked owlishly. He then switched gears and tried to look cute, “Um, well, like, yeah.” 

_So fucking cool, Eren._

Levi ordered a beer and looked at Eren from the corner of his eye. He felt odd taking someone who couldn’t drink legally out. It made him feel uncomfortable. 

Eren noted Levi’s sudden uncomfortableness and the way Donner looked up at him. Eren swallowed, “What are you thinking about?” 

Levi looked at him, “What do you think I’m thinking about?” 

His stare was curious but only a little. Eren had to really make it count. He couldn’t just say _I dunno stuff_ and think that was going to cut it. 

_If I was Levi…._

_Shit, if I was Levi I’d be fucking on top of the world. Hell, I’d be so awesome, I’d masturbate in the mirror and model and make money and run an underground cell of misfits and fuuuuuck._

Eren shook himself from his thoughts, “I would venture that you’re thinking of shitting.” 

Levi let out a gruff _Hmpf_. It didn’t really come out from his mouth, though. He seemed very amused, ‘I do need to take a shit.” 

“Oh, really? Did I stop you by being early or something?” 

Levi shrugged, “You know when you run and then you have to take the biggest shit after? I must not have got it all out at the gym.” 

Eren stared in shock. 

Levi watched how he’d react carefully. 

Then, Eren started to laugh, really laugh. It was loud and tears gathered in the corner of his eyes, “Oh, shit. I’ve never thought about that but you’re right. Wow, I need to ask Armin why that is. I’m sure he’d have an answer.” 

Eren smiled, “But, really, what is it?” 

Levi really liked Eren and their first date had been a hit but this was different. If he kept dating him then...well, he’d be dating him...and maybe one day he’d never stop dating him? 

Levi decided to just say what he wanted to say and let that be that, “I’m old, kid. You’re not.” 

Eren didn’t seem to realize that was the answer to his question because as soon as their food was set down he started sneaking pieces to Donner. 

Levi glared, “Eren?” 

“Yeah?” 

“What do you think of our age gap?” 

Eren seemed surprised, ‘Um, I’m legal so it doesn’t matter?” 

Levi kept glaring. 

Eren took a sip of his coca cola to buy time. 

He then looked down at the table, “I mean, what are we talking? Just six years? That’s nothing.” 

Levi had to admit that six years wasn’t so bad. 

Eren kept talking without thinking. It was such a horrible trait, “I mean, it’s only weird if you think about how you’d have been a senior in highschool when I was in, like, sixth grade.” 

All the color drained from Levi’s face and Eren realized what he’d just said and how that was officially how he’d killed his chance with the hottest man that ever existed. 

Eren sputtered, “L-LISTEN! THAT DOESN’T MATTER! I’M GROWN AND I MAKE MY OWN CHOICES! I DON’T THINK OF YOU AS BEING OLD!” 

Levi was unreadable, “You don’t think of me as old but I am.” 

Eren felt his chest cave in at the blow of that understanding, “NO! I LIKE OLDER MEN!” 

_What am I DOING!?_

Everyone around them was staring. 

Eren grit his teeth, turning red and welling up. He wanted to cry. Why was it always so hard for him to _fucking_ communicate?! 

Levi finished his beer and got up, “I’ll be back.” 

Eren sat with his food and tried to think of something to salvage the night. 

When Levi returned he had two beers, “Here. Don’t get all fucked up.” 

Eren was defensive and a little miffed, ‘It’s not my first beer.” 

Levi reached over and ruffled his chestnut locks, “Sure it is.” 

Eren smacked his hand away and gave a shy smile. 

Levi leaned back, “So, you’re all grown up and like older men. Sounds like you’ve got daddy issues.” 

Eren rolled his eyes, “Don’t we all?” 

“True.” 

They finished their food and then went to see a show next door. 

Eren felt a little frisky and pressed against Levi’s back when the crowd became thicker. He placed his hand on Levi’s waist and then slowly moved forward around him to rest his hand above his navel. Levi smirked to himself at Eren’s cockiness. 

He pushed back against him, grinding. 

Eren got hard in no time. He suspected he was young, willing, and unable to pace himself. 

Levi frowned at the young part but perked up at the prospect of training Eren to go the distance. 

The music was loud and Levi felt like he could actually breathe. There was a moment when things just got too hot. But, he was managing. 

He checked the time. Eren pressed his lips against Levi’s neck, “Are you having fun?” 

Eren’s lips lingered. 

Levi placed his hand on the side of Eren’s face when he reached behind, “Yeah, brat.” 

Eren took a chance and pressed a few kisses on his neck. 

He loved the way Levi tasted. 

Levi turned around, “Brat?” 

Eren was staring at his lips. He heard how pathetically breathy his voice was when he replied, “Yeah?” 

Levi opened his mouth but suddenly there was an extremely loud pop that sounded like a gun. A few more went off and then confetti rained down upon the crowd. Levi’s reaction made Eren panic. He saw the look of utter terror and shock flash across his face. Eren took his hand and turned to lead him and Levi out with Donner keeping up and whimpering. 

When they got outside, Eren pushed Levi towards their car and in silence they walked down the dark parking lot path till they got to the car. Eren took Levi’s keys and opened the door to let him in. He put Donner in the back and got back inside. Eren tried to give Levi space. 

There was silence till Levi turned the car on and turned the music up a little to fill the space. 

He cleared his throat and looked at the clock, “I want to get a tattoo.” 

Eren turned to him, “Now?” 

Levi nodded, ‘Yeah.” 

Eren swallowed, “Then let’s go.” 

Levi snorted, “Really? That’s what you want to do as a date.” 

“ _I want to do anything with you.”_

Eren said the words without thinking and then immediately covered his mouth, his cheeks pink and his back hot. 

Levi raised an eyebrow and gave him a seductively, devastatingly handsome look. 

Eren turned to jelly and was glad they went to the tattoo parlor. 

When they got inside, Dave was waiting, “I knew you said you might come in so get back here and sit the fuck down.” David opened a can of mountain dew and turned on some music. 

Eren looked around and then laughed nervously, “Is this….The Monster Mash?” 

Dave was putting gloves on, “Yeah, you got a fucking problem?” 

Eren shook his head and Levi tched, “Leave the brat alone.” 

Dave gave an impressed look, “Aye, Aye, Captain.” 

Eren looked at the wall and then at the book, “You want something, too?” 

Dave had a twizzler in his mouth. 

He was laying the stencil and checking and re-checking it. 

There was a moment when Eren thought they weren’t serious but as Dave finished some shading on Levi’s half sleeve before they started one one of the pieces of it he asked again. Eren shook his head, “No...I’m not ready to commit tonight.” 

Levi closed his eyes and they all three sat in comfortable silence listening to the monster mash. When he was done, Levi looked in the mirror and nodded. 

Eren thought that was so damn cool. Levi got through over eighty percent of his day without saying anything. How was that even possible? He lectured, right? 

RIGHT? 

_Shit, he barely lectures! How have I never noticed this?!_

Levi pulled Eren out and towards the front. He waved at the girl behind the desk and then they were outside. He looked around, “Wanna head back to the dorm and drink?” 

Eren nodded, “Yeah.” 

Levi seemed to change his mind, “Or do you want to go to the mall and walk around the empty stores?” 

“Sure.” 

Levi changed his mind again, “Or do you want to go back to a bar?” 

“Yeah, that’s fine.” 

Levi looked around and then, “Well, how about we go murder some people?” 

Eren’s instinct was to agree, “Yeah.” 

He then processed what Levi said and he looked shocked, “WAIT! NO!” 

Levi started to chuckle darkly, “Oh kid, you’ve got it bad for me.” 

Eren blushed but Levi noted he bristled. 

Eren was sensitive about his emotions much like Levi. 

“Shut up!” 

He pulled way when Levi tried to pull him towards him. Donner seemed to whimper and cast a judgemental look at his owner for upsetting the nice boy with pretty eyes. 

Levi groaned, “Let’s go back to the dorm. I’ve got beer and Erwin has some...vigia ma games or whatever you kids call them.” 

Eren laughed, “Video games.” 

Levi softly hummed _Video Games_ by Lana del Rey surprising Eren by his sudden softness and relaxed demeanor. 

When they got back to the dorm, Eren wondered if he was going to have sex or not. He felt a little embarrassed by his one track mind but he _needed_ to know. Then, he wondered what his role would be? 

_Am I gunna be a bottom? I’m not exactly…_

“Brat, do you want beer?” 

Levi looked in the fridge and frowned, “Fuck, Erwin. Seriously?” He pulled his leather jacket on and grabbed his keys, “Come on, brat.” 

They walked down the street to the gas station. Levi handed him money. Eren was confused, “What beer do you drink normally?” 

Eren blinked, “Um whatever I can get.” 

Levi rolled his eyes, “Shit...Here’s how this is gunna go down. Walk to the back and act like you’re looking for the candy. Grab some but then go by the beer and let me know what catches your eye.” 

Eren went inside and did as he was told. 

“Um, I saw a green one and a purple one that looked cool.” 

“Okay, brat.” Levi had stayed outside and away from the windows. He went in and went to the beer cooler in the back walking around and taking his sweet time. He bought the two Eren saw and then another case he and Erwin both drank regularly. 

When he came outside he handed Eren a case, “Good choices. I like both but have never bought a case of either.” 

Eren practically beamed ultraviolet light at the praise. 

When they got back, Eren offered Levi some of his candy and chips. Levi inspected them, “Ugh this treif (non-kosher) shit is just unappealing.” He went to his room and brought out his own guilty pleasures. The bags were written in a language Eren didn’t know. 

“But, we went out and you drink out?” 

“We went to a place where there are parve options and other kosher options. I know the people who work there. I’m willing to bend in the South but if I can limit my treif intake I will.” 

They were watching movies on Netflix and drinking. 

There was a moment when Eren felt his body swim in the comfort of alcoholic saturation and his confidence built, “So, is this us doing Netflix and Chill?” 

Levi blinked, his concentration on the movie torn, “What?” He looked genuinely confused and lucky for Eren, he was drunk, too. That meant that Levi wasn’t so careful to hide that he had hardly no pop culture or mainstream references, “What is that? Is that a movie or a feature on this?” 

Eren’s throat was dry. He laughed subconsciously, “Ha, Levi, come on. Netflix and Chill. I thought that’s what we were doing….” 

Levi was unreadable. His voice was mumbled but loud enough for Eren to here, “Yeah. We are.” 

Levi was silently freaking out because he didn’t know what he’d committed to. “I have to go shit. I’ll be back.” 

Eren nodded and opened another bottle of liquid courage. 

Levi went into his bathroom and started thinking about what Netflix and Chill was. He texted Hanji and they sent him a link. He clicked it and it opened to Urban Dictionary. 

TOP DEFINITION 

netflix and chill 

code for two people going to each others houses and fucking or doing other sexual related acts 

Brad: "Hey Julia wanna come over and watch Netflix and chill" 

Julia: "Sure I'll pick up the condoms" 

Brad: "Wait I thought we were just gonna watch Netflix and chill?" 

Julia: "Netflix and Chill means we fuck, dumbass" 

Levi put his phone down while he sat on the toilet. 

_“Shit._

He wasn’t opposed but he’d wanted to wait before doing anything with Eren till he was over the age thing. He also had wanted to torture the kid a little first to test his determination and intention. He sighed and decided a little fooling around wouldn’t be too bad. 

He could still torture him. 

Levi came back out and sat back down. He opened up another beer and watched as Eren became more and more relaxed. He looked over at Levi nervously but Levi knew he was excited, too. 

Eren watched as Levi suddenly reached over and took his beer from his hand. Eren felt his heart pound in his chest as Levi’s hand was placed on the side of his face before bringing him in for a searing kiss. Eren inhaled, his hands went to bring Levi closer. 

Levi’s hands moved down to his shoulders, his tongue forced it’s way inside of his mouth as he dominated Eren. 

He pulled back, both of them panting. 

There was moment where Levi’s head moved forward quickly. He was a predator and Eren was the prey. 

But, he avoided Eren’s lips with a smirk and went for his neck. 

Eren moaned unabashedly. 

His neck was very sensitive and Levi was returning the favor from the club. 

He pushed Eren on his back and moved over him. Eren bucked his hips upwards and Levi hissed. 

Eren felt like he was keeping up with Levi by the noises he was making. 

But then, he pulled back and away. 

“Brat?” His voice was gruff, “when was the last time you showered?” 

Eren froze, ‘Um, yesterday….” 

Levi sat back on his haunches, boring a hole in Eren. All he needed to do was raise an eyebrow and say, “Brat?” 

“OKAY IT’S BEEN LIKE THREE DAYS BUT THAT’S BECAUSE I’VE BEEN BUSY.” 

Levi nearly jumped off of him, “Three days!?” 

“I was busy!” 

“And you’re not even in your clothes so you’ve obviously not done your laundry.” 

“I mean, it’s hard.” 

“To wash clothes!?” 

“To adult and I was just wanting to see you again!” 

Levi seemed to soften ever so much at that. 

Eren was flushed and so adorably shamed. 

Levi decided to have some fun with him and see just how badly Eren wanted him. 

“Come on.” His voice was dark and seductive. He gave Eren a cheeky smile and wink. There was an immediate shift in his body language. Eren followed him to the bathroom and watched as he turned the water on in the shower. Levi walked up to Eren and took his hips in his hands, “Strip.” 

It was a command that made Eren’s cock throb. 

Eren started to strip while Levi took his own clothes off. They were drunk, a little clumsy, but it didn’t matter. Levi pulled Eren into the shower and began kissing him while he lathered him up. 

Eren’s hands smoothed over Levi’s silky, smooth, and sudsy skin. 

Levi’s hand disappeared between them and made it’s way between Eren’s thighs. 

Eren’s body jerked a little. His mouth opened more and a strangled noise was caught in the back of his throat. Levi loved and savored it. He kept stroking Eren, eliciting moans from him and the bucking of his hips. Eren couldn’t hold off as drunk and excited as he was. 

He came and watched as Levi licked his hand afterwards. His voice was downright weakening, “Some things are dirty in a good way.” 

He pressed Eren against the wall and kissed him more. 

When Eren tried to change gears and turn his attention on Levi he was left in the shower. 

Eren blinked, looking over at Levi who had stepped out, “What?” 

Levi turned the knobs and suddenly Eren was freezing. 

Levi chuckled, “Never expect to chill with me and be fucknig filthy, brat. I won’t stand for it.” 

When Eren got out of the shower, he was shaking. He couldn't find his clothes, his head was swimming, and he was afraid he’d ruined his date. 

However, Levi shoved clothes in his arms, “These are mine and I’m washing your other clothes. They smelled stale and like teenage nightmares.” 

Eren followed Levi back to the couch and they drank a little more. He smiled when Levi ate some of his treif chips by accident and Donner licked his legs and feet. He looked at Levi’s hair as it dried and wondered how someone could be so damn perfect and so damn hot. 

He nearly died when Levi’s eyes started to close. He wondered if he’d be asked to sleep over. 

“Brat?” 

“Yeah?” 

“It’s time for bed.” 

Eren nodded, “I can sleep here with this blanket and Donner.” 

Levi seemed hurt, “You wanna sleep on the couch?” 

Eren starting to cough. He’d choked on the mere thought he could sleep in Levi’s _room_ , “I CAN SLEEP ANYWHERE!” 

Levi got up, “Then sleep in here in a real bed.” 

Levi went inside and Eren ran after him. He crawled in the bed after Levi got inside. Eren was looking around in the dark so much so that Levi noticed, “Brat, calm the fuck down. What’s up?” 

“This is just so cool.” 

Levi turned his rope lights on. 

Eren went _ooooooh_ and then turned over to look at Levi, “It just got fucking cooler!” 

Levi popped the side of Eren’s face, “Go the fuck to sleep.” 

Eren smiled goofily, “Okay.” 

* 

* 

* 

Hanji pulled the steaming hot drain out of Levi’s back. Eren was holding him. Levi’s face was pressed in the crook of his neck. His body was shaking and burning up now that the serum was maybe working. Nikko came back after speaking with Mila on the phone and looking at his own samples from Levi, “It is a type of TB we’ve never seen.” 

Nikko thought about the people who’d been coughing, “Where is Maxim and Ilya?” 

Hanji stood up, “How did he get it?” 

Nikko shook his head that he didn’t know. They left and started asking for everyone to be brought together. They wouldn’t be leaving out that day at all. Something was wrong and something was going to happen to them all if they didn’t figure it out. 

Eren held Levi even though his own skin was being burned from the heat coming off of Levi. 

Erwin was pulling his shirt up to shield his face but he couldn’t leave him or Eren. Erwin was just as helpless as the first time Armin had been taken. 

Levi pulled back a little to look at Eren in the face. 

Eren looked at his husband, his soul, his true love. 

There was a heavy silence between them. 

Then, Levi spoke. It was hard to understand but Eren was close enough to hear him, “Brat?” 

Eren thought about how he sounded and how being called _brat_ by Levi still made his heart flutter, “Yeah?” 

Levi looked like he was on the verge of unconsciousness, “When was the last time you took a shower?” 

His eyes fluttered closed and his body sagged against Eren. 

Steam whistled through the holes in his spine.


	191. The Great Destroyer

Levi’s condition was still unstable. His eyes fluttered behind the lids. Eren and Erwin sat in silence next to him. There was a deep moaning of something far off. It echoed across the fields and over the walls. Whatever was moaning was inhuman and terrifying. 

Eren was an empty shell. 

His hands shook and his lips quivered. 

Erwin looked down at the floor, “Armin divorced me.” 

His voice was so loud in the quiet space but he’d barely been able to say the words, let alone give them any real volume, “I think that’s the day I died. This just...can’t be reality. It has to be something other than it. Maybe this is hell.” 

It was such a resigned statement. 

Eren hadn’t know any of that. 

“Why did Armin do that?” 

Erwin took a deep breath and held it in his chest. He thought about the reply, “I, in his opinion, appeared to be open to sacrificing one of our children in order to gain something like information.” 

Erwin smoothed his hands up and down his legs, “I guess, in his own way, he’s right but that would have been the old Erwin. The Erwin of Badaschi.” 

The sound was intensified. 

There was a moment when both of them just looked at each other before looking down at Levi. Erwin was slowly regressing to the man who had frantically searched Iraq for his lover. Eren didn’t know what to say but his mouth opened anyway. 

But, before he could speak the door open. 

“Eren?” 

Ltn. Miller was standing there, breathless, “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” 

Eren seemed to suddenly pull back deep inside of himself, ‘Leave, Miller. I’m busy.” 

Miller hesitated, “But, Eren…” 

“That’s Squad Leader Ackermann.” 

Miller deflated and Erwin had had enough, “Don’t stand there. You’re embarrassing yourself. You can’t honestly have thought you meant anything to people like us?” Erwin had heard of Eren’s transgression. He’d been hurt but couldn’t even imagine how bad it must have been for Levi. “Get out. You’re shameful.” 

Miller left with Erwin’s words lingering in his mind. 

He’d really thought that Eren had loved him. 

Eren looked back at Erwin, “Where do we go now?” 

It was soft and lost among the sounds of war. 

Erwin snorted, mimicking the song lyrics of Axel Rose, “Where do we go now? Where do we go?” His lighthearted singing made Eren snort, too. There was a momentary relief. That was, until Levi started to violently cough again. His body was still letting off steam and his fever was off the charts. Eren’s soul ached but he was also still….still… 

“Eren, how can I help you?” 

Erwin was looking at him directly, “I want to understand why you and Levi are at this point. I know it sounds hypocritical and it is but, still, I want to do something.” 

Eren recoiled as Erwin expected. He grew red around the collar and his petulant pout of a child remained. He’d barely changed after all these years, “It’s just that….Levi, in my opinion, appeared to be willfully attempting to sacrifice our children in order to gain something.” The words stung Erwin. 

Eren looked at the floor, “And that’s all I want to say about it. We have to wait for him to heal. We can’t move him. People need a break. Whatever that is that’s making noise has to be figured out and then a plan to combat it must be created. I’d say we’re going to have to devote four days max to this. I want Armin back. I know you do to.” 

Erwin cut him off, “If Armin dies, Eren…” He chose the words carefully, “I will also die.” 

Erwin stood up, “I’ll go figure out what that is. Stay with Lee and make sure he lives. I don’t have time for that right now and I can’t handle anymore than I already have.” 

Eren nodded, “Of course.” 

Erwin was just about to go, “Is it about the vote?” 

Eren swallowed before replying, “Everything is about that vote, Erwin. It all began there.” 

Erwin nodded and left. 

Levi’s eyes opened momentarily. The loud bang of the door must have roused him. His voice was still so hoarse he could barely be understood. But, after years of living together and other sickness, Eren was the best interpreter. 

“Eren?” 

“Yes?” 

“Water?” 

Eren gave him some water and then wiped his face. Levi was shivering. 

“Are we...okay?” 

Eren shook his head, “No, Levi. We’re not.” 

“How can I fix it if you won’t tell me what the problem is?” 

Eren wiped his eyes of tears. He didn’t want to be mad but he was. This wasn’t fair, “It isn’t fair what you’re going to make me do. I can’t get over it right now. Stop pushing. Just live. Just live and then help us get Armin back.” 

Levi looked at him, his eyes red and swollen, “I love you.” 

Eren swallowed again, his throat now very dry, “I love you, too. But, that doesn’t mean I am going to forgive you.” 

* 

* 

* 

Armin was shaking when he woke up. He couldn’t see and he was obviously restrained to a table on his stomach. There were people speaking around him about samples and protocols. Then, he heard her. 

“Just kill him. I don’t see what the problem is.” 

There was a tense moment in the room and then Reiner spoke, “Historia, that’s just ridiculous. You can’t be that divorced from it. There’s no way!” Reiner’s tremor in his voice caught Armin’s attention. He was trying to get out of his binds but wasn’t having any luck. 

Historia’s shoes clicked on the floor, “Then this better work.” 

Reiner laughed a little bitterly, “I wouldn’t have suggested it if I wasn’t sure.” 

“Whatever, loser.” Ymir’s voice was dripping in sarcasm. 

Armin wanted to panic but he kept calm. He couldn’t lose his wits about himself. The room was cold and machines were beeping and moving in the background noise. He focused on breathing. 

Reiner placed his hand on Armin’s back, “I’m not going to lie, I really don’t want to do this but I have to. I know how you are and I’m going to try and make this as comfortable for you as possible.” 

Armin’s lips were quivering, “What’s going to happen?” 

Reiner sighed loudly, “Well, do you want it blunt or soft?” 

Armin was shaking all over, “Blunt.” 

Reiner nodded, “I figured.” 

He shifted, “Why do you think Historia wanted to have a child with me?” 

Armin’s voice shook, “Because she thought you had part of the coordinate.” 

Reiner nodded but made a committal noise since Armin couldn’t see. “She did. She still does. However, she now thinks that the only way to defeat Eren is to collect as many portions of the coordinate as possible. That means, she wants to kill me and take my portion. She also wants to take our son’s.” 

Armin couldn’t believe what he was hearing, ‘He’s her son!” 

Reiner laughed bitterly, “He has only ever been a means to an end to her. I guess I just thought….maybe….maybe he was more or she’d develop some attachment. I mean, he’s a part of her.” 

And that’s why I’m going to offer you in his place. She can kill me. I just want Sebastian to live. He’s a royal so he can use the coordinate. Why not let him live?” 

Armin swallowed, “Because he could threaten her. Oh my God….” 

Reiner exhaled, “So, you see that I am at a crossroads. I don’t want my son to die. I have to do what I can to protect him. Bert is dead. I have nothing left. Jaffa….she has betrayed me or you were able to get to her.” 

Armin made a noise that meant he couldn’t believe what he said. “Damn, Reiner, that’s too much credit to give me.” 

Reiner stood up, “We’re going to offer you as the sacrificial lamb, Armin. I’m sorry this is how it is. I really liked you and hoped that Seb and G could have been together under normal circumstances. At least you got to see some grandkids. Bert will never see that.” 

His voice trailed off and the sound of a saw turning on made Armin’s body go rigid. 

* 

* 

* 

Ori sat with Maxim and Ilya while he made his call. There was a woman on the other end of the phone he didn’t know. She was strong willed and refused to speak with him. He understood her distrust and passed the phone to Ilya. 

They spoke for a while until Ilya relented and said he didn’t know if it was even going to be possible. Maxim frowned but her voice came through on the other end loud and clear, “Aviva said she’s got an idea. Just send him over. Tell Nikko I love him.” 

* 

* 

* 

Aviva grabbed Gaia and went to the club. She’d called the members of the tribes to meet her there. Maxim and Ilya’s man had got there with a little shock of his own over the venue. A few were upset about it and didn’t want to enter. She understood but it wasn’t like she asked them to meet in the sex shop. The others seemed to think the same thing and entered without a word. 

Of course, the young ones were right at home and asking about certain girls. 

Dina had her two children with her. Aviva smiled and made small talk. She genuinely liked Dina and she arranged food for her children so that they wouldn’t grow upset at the late hour. Alexi had made it very clear he was interested in her and Aviva had high hopes for another big Jewish wedding. 

Gaia laid her head against her mother’s shoulder and listened as her sparrow like voice lifted upwards like her grandvati. Gaia missed her father but at least she was here with her mother. 

There was a great debate that broke out. 

“I’m asking you to and that's what you came here for.” Aviva’s words were stern and cut to the heart of the matter, “Go to them and fight for your king. It’s the only way. They are desperate.” 

There was more arguing and a few left. Not everyone was ready to fight nor had they actually ever believed they’d be asked to fight. She let them go and knew rabbi Berkovitch would have asked her to let it go. However, she was a Smith and she couldn’t forget a slight. 

“Are you concerned about the fact that you’re asking us to go and they have nothing to give us to fight with?” One of the men voiced his concern loudly over the others, ‘Is this Soviet Russia? Are we to take either the gun or the ammo?” 

She gave a haughty look, “If it’s guns that you’re concerned about, then I have you covered.” 

She had Sapphire and the other strippers bring up large amounts of firearms to lay them down at their feet. 

She thought about the day she found Judah’s dirty little secret beneath the club. He was stockpiling arms for Maxim and Ilya and for his own use. He had enough for two or three militias and that was perfect for her needs. He was a planner just like his aba. 

“I think this takes care of your concerns.” She was regal and defiant in her blatant smugness, “Now, are you still going to bitch and moan or will you do your duty already?” 

The men spoke among themselves. It was clear that many were appeased by this and had no further qualms working for the king wholeheartedly. But, still, there were those that were angry that they were now forced to do it. She grew perturbed. 

“Need I remind you that it is because of us that you are here and safe. You are here with us and on visas we got you with the blood and sweat of our brow. I have known you my whole life and I have always seen you as a blessing and as our future salvation. To turn on us is to spit on us. You will answer for that. HaShem will know.” 

Gaia fussed and she went back into her motherly mode. There was a tense moment till she spoke again, “Gather your arms and head to the airport. You’re going to fight and you’ll fight as men with iron teeth.” 

She had spoken with Mila at length about it all and how vulnerable it had made the ghetto. It didn’t matter. This was the end of it all and if they were not willing to make sacrifices then they did not deserve to win. 

Aviva just hoped she wasn’t sacrificing the father of her children for it. 

* 

* 

* 

Mikasa and David were packing up supplies in silence when a phone call came in. A boy with curly hair was screaming for Erwin but Mikasa merely took the phone and calmly asked who was calling. 

“Oh, aunt Mikasa, this is Bellamy.” 

She made a small noise that he took as hello. 

“Mikasa, we…..we have the vote tomorrow.” 

Mikasa looked very confused and lowered the phone, “They have the vote tomorrow?” 

David asked for the phone, “Bell? What vote?” 

Bellamy felt Lilly leaning on his back. She was clutching a tissue and Alexi was shaking from the thought of the vote. 

“Where is Erwin!? He knows! Take the phone to him!” 

David looked at Mikasa and then sighed, “No, he’s….there’s been some issues and he’s sedated. You need to tell us what's going on and we’ll tell him.” 

Bellamy looked over at Lilly and grimaced. 

He turned back, “We’re up for a vote for our own state, David. The Men with Iron Teeth can finally call somewhere _home._ ” 

* 

* 

* 

Levi woke up, rolled off the bed, and scrambled upwards towards the door. Eren grabbed him and tried to calm him. Levi’s determination was hard to steifle, “Neshama! Stop it!” 

Eren’s voice coupled with his term of endearment made Levi go limp on his arms. Levi started to cry and Eren buried his face in his neck. Levi’s bottom lip quivered, “But, mami…” 

Eren stifled a sob, “Erwin’s planning and we’ve got something in place. We’re waiting the kids to come back with intel. Judah’s brigade is so lean, they decided to go and Jean and Marco went with them.” 

Levi groaned, “Damn, I don’t like how that sounds. How long have I been like this?” 

Eren still hadn’t let go and it made Levi’s heart swell. 

“Almost two days.” 

Levi choked, “Armin had been with them for three days.” 

Eren grimaced, ‘I know.” 

Levi’s voice was barely a whisper, ‘He….he could be dead.” 

Eren sobbed against him and Levi felt an ache for Erwin that superseded their feud. 

“Let’s go, brat.” 

Eren pulled back and wiped his face as they went out. Eren could see the rest of the troops looking dejected and melancholy. Miller was waiting around for Eren when they walked up. He stepped forward like a groupie after a show. 

“Eren! Eren! I’ve been waiting to speak with you when you. I love-” 

Levi punched him squarely in the face. Miller fell down with a thud, blood splattering everywhere from the sheer force and the now broken nose. He gasped and yelled in pain while Levi watch looking disgustedly at him from above, “Dreck.” (basically, calling him literal shit.) 

Eren’s cheeks were red with shame. 

“We’re going to make a mad dash towards the center gate of the final wall. The gate if made of steel and will need to be blown up again. We have only enough explosives for one try and then we’ll need to prepare for hand to hand with the final Reiss within the center.” 

It’s disheartening, this process. The weather is poor and the hours long. Our food is running out and we can’t trust what we find here. You have families and friends at home who you miss. I understand that. My family is here, with me, but in this situation. You see, there is a silver lining for you. If you die here, you’re family will still survive because of your sacrifice and ours. Only I am losing my entire family. You can die knowing that yours is going to be free and yours is going to live in a world of peace and liberation once we finish here.” 

Mikasa and David watched the speech with aghast faces. Erwin was really hitting hard. What a morbid speech to give. Keita came to stand with his parents and kissed his mother’s cheek. David kissed Mikasa and then came to Levi and Eren. He informed them that Bellamy had called and then Erwin finished his speech. 

He came over and Levi decided to throw him a bone and smile at him. 

Erwin’s brow furrow, “Are you...constipated?” 

Levi frowned, “Fuck you, old man.” 

Erwin wasn’t amused, “Let’s go over the plan. I don’t have time to flirt with my side piece.” 

Levi snorted, “I’m no one’s side piece. But, a plan is something we should all be in on.” 

Erwin opened a rolled pair of documents. 

“We go down the center, blow the gate, enter and head straight to the main courthouse. It has a bunker beneath it.” 

Levi looked suspicious but Mikasa cut in, “David and I found secret documents while snooping around. That’s what we managed to pull off a footsoldier on his way with other information. We know that Reiner, Historia, Ymir, and Sebastian are all together. If we can kill them, then there will be no one left to lead the remaining Reiss as we hunt them down.” 

David pulled out a notepad, “Then, we can go to Iran and Iraq to take on The Wall. Without the US Reiss, most of the money the European and Middle Eastern Reiss use to stay in power will now be gone and so will their protection from non-Reiss.” 

Mikasa and David were two halves of the same whole and it made everyone think about their own relationships. 

Judah and Gisela appeared with Zev in tow, “It’s going to be suicide.” 

Judah’s eyes shifted to his sister, “We should have two waves and not just one.” 

Erwin cleared his throat, “No, little lion. We only do one. Your sister will be fine. She knows the drill and she knows the risk.” 

Judah bristled and so did Zev, “Two isn’t a bad idea.” 

Erwin pushed him back, “Where are you getting the numbers for that? Because, I know every man by name and we don’t have enough for two waves at all.” Keita looked at Maxim and Ilya as they appeared. They waved him over and Ori walked towards Zev. 

“I’m in your unit still?” 

Zev was cold and curt, “Yeah, don’t get lost.” 

Judah noted the harsh tone and so did Gisela. 

“I won’t...but I’d love to go back to Judah’s unit if that’s better for everyone.” 

Judah grimaced and Zev seemed to become harder but that was even more confusing to the twins with his doubling down on Ori about how he was in his unit and not switching because he needed every man he could get. 

Gisela was still ill and so was Judah. They saw their uncle eying them an both mentally groaned. 

Ori looked around and reached out to take Judah’s hand, “I have something to tell you, Yehuda!” 

Judah was interested but Maxim and Ilya interrupted and then it was time to split units. Hanji and Nikko were readied and their medic armbands were put on. Nikko’s lips moved in prayer and he placed a picture of Mila and Lylah inside of his shirt over his heart. Hanji gave him a kiss on the cheek, “You’re so damn sweet it’s giving me a toothache!” 

She kissed his other cheek, “It’ll be over soon and we can go home!” 

Nikko smiled faintly, “I just want to see my wife and daughter.” 

She smiled brightly, “I know. You’ve loved her since forever. It’s beautiful and I can’t wait to see the new baby and the others that are sure to follow!” 

He looked at her seriously, “Are you….did you call Oskar?” 

Hanji nodded, “I call him all the time.” 

Nikko was looking at the ground, “And Mike?” 

Hanji paused and looked like she was thinking, “I talk to him everyday.” 

“Are you….scared to go back and deal with it? I would be.” 

She looked over at Levi who was drinking water and trying to prepare for the stressful fight ahead. Levi caught her gaze and held it. She looked back to Nikko, ‘I am scared. I am very scared and I am very upset about it all. I feel like I’m slowly being torn apart. I don’t know any peace. My heart bleeds and bleeds. I’m going to run dry soon. Your aba is the only relationship I sort of understand.” 

There was a whistle. It meant they needed to pull out. Nikko surged forward to hug her and then pulled back, “I love you. You’re the best mother-in-law in the world. I am truly blessed to have you in my life and my children’s.” 

Nikko was engulfed in her arms, “You’re my wish for my daughter.” 

She kissed his head, “You’re my wish for a son of my own.” 

David smiled and put on an armband, “I’m joining you two today.” 

Hanji smirked, “Really?” 

Nikko was also amused, “This sounds off considering you’re one of our heaviest hitters.” 

David’s smile was charming and endearing, “Wife’s orders.” 

Nikko and Hanji both nodded, “Oh, that sounds more like it.” 

Mikasa came from behind, popped him, and kissed him, “I love you. Don’t be stupid.” 

There was another siren and they all split up and lined up. Erwin was thinking of only Armin as he opened his eyes and turned to begin yelling orders. Levi felt how his back still felt pierced and his lungs hurt. His coughing would get going and he grew paranoid he would see blood. It seemed Ilya and Maxim had the TB as well and they were avoiding Nikko and Hanji. 

Hanji looked over at them and then back at her phone. She sent Oskar a message and Mike. She was so torn every moment of the day. 

Her mind desperately tried to think of all the ways she could maybe fix her situation. 

The whistle blew and she moved out. 

* 

* 

* 

Erwin slammed into one of the MTs while Yoni shot down a sniper in the window above. Yoni’s chest was wounded and he was having a hard time keeping up. Eren was screaming at the squad members left and Levi was pulling Judah by the collar up off the ground. Nikko was behind them. 

Judah and Nikko went to the other side and Hanji and David pulled the bomb by it’s handles. Mikasa was on her own now with Marco and Jean helping her back up Gisela and Tuvia. Keita was falling back, worrying his parents. Maxim and Ilya were watching him closely and snipping for them. 

They had maybe fifty men left and that was it. 

Judah and Nikko were supposed to take men to the side of the wall where the operation room was. Here, they could disable the security features that would be activated if they blew the wall. This was mostly a wave of MTs, bullets, grenades, and other horrible things that would come down from over the wall or be waiting when they rushed through it to the other side. 

Judah was leading but had an injured leg. Nikko pushed his brother behind him and took off in front. There was a moment when Judah bristled and pushed him in a show of brotherly competition. They both wondered where Ezra was and were worried. 

His squad was on top of the wall doing god knows what. 

Nikko and Judah were kicking up dust as they ran over the broken streets and rubble. 

Nikko’s med pack bounced against his back. 

There was a moment when Judah remembered them as children and as they had been in boy scouts. He loved his brother and always wanted to be like him. 

There was a an explosion and it threw Judah to the ground. 

He looked up to see Nikko on the ground, not moving, blood everywhere. 

Judah scrambled, his hearing gone, and started yelling for Nikko. It looked like his neck had been severed. 

He had to get to him somehow. Hanji’s yell caught his attention and David’s shadow was looming behind her. There was another explosion and David yelled for Hanji to watch out. She looked up and saw rubble coming down. While Nikko had healing abilities, they weren’t exactly miraculous if he was crushed to bits. He also looked like his neck had been severed. 

David slammed into her to keep a piece of the wall and gate from hitting her. He also grabbed ahold of a piece of the wall that was falling to prevent it from hitting Judah. His arm suffered and was crushed. He yelled out in pain. Mikasa overheard and tried to change direction as she swung from the wall. 

A large yell echoed over the top of the wall and then they saw what the Reiss has been working on. Ezra had come back with fear in his eyes. His Cesare was back home, wounded and mentally scarred, and now he knew why. 

The titans were back. 

Well, at least three of them were. 

Erwin’s entire body was on fire when the gate opened to reveal them. 

They were four stories high and grotesque. There was no true way to describe it. He looked at Levi whose leg was now wounded and Eren who had this manic look about him. He thought about Armin. 

“Armin?” His voice was low, “Should we do this?” 

He closed his eyes and heard the titan scream. 

_Yes_

Erwin rallied his troops and the surged forward. 

The fighting was doomed from the beginning. 

Swathes of soldiers met their end in seconds as the titans swiped their hands down. Ezra had a plan that involved nets. Hanji and he had put it together in their down time just in case. She had told David and Mikasa how to work it just in case. 

Ezra hated that she’d said that. 

Just in case. 

Just in case fucking what? 

He climbed the wall with more men and activated the nets. It caught two of the titans against the wall and allowed for their remaining men to breathe a bit. 

Still, there wasn’t enough men on the ground to help. 

The titan that remained was wreaking havoc and killed off the rest of one of the squads. 

Eren and Levi were running on the ground now with Erwin towards the door of the courthouse. They would need to blow the doors off and enter manually. Levi watched how Eren lost all sense of himself and focused on whatever his goal was. 

He slammed the explosives on the door and barely checked them before pushing Levi back out of the space and onto the floor. He shielded him with his body, which Levi greatly appreciated. But, it only made Levi fret more. 

The explosion was deafening. 

Levi looked up and saw Eren rush inside and down the stairs. He traveled on his heels like a spirit hoping to possess a willing body. 

It was dark, damp, and the air was stale. 

They may have been holed up in here for a lot longer than they thought. 

Erwin’s gruff growl was cut short as Reiner slammed into him. 

It seemed Reiner hadn’t expected it and he was caught off guard. He also seemed annoyed as anger flashed across his face. His fist slammed into Erwin’s jaw but Erwin’s hand reached up, grasped his arm, and then he bit a chunk out of his arm. 

Reiner screamed. 

Levi knew that look in Erwin’s eyes. 

He tossed Reiner to the side and Eren stepped between them, ‘GO FIND ARMIN!” 

Reiner spat, “Why? You want to make love to a corpse?” 

Eren charged him, his knife plunging into his chest. 

Blood burst forward from Reiner’s mouth as he coughed out of breath. Reiner’s laugh echoed through the hallways as other fighters came out of the side hallways. Eren plunged his knife into him more and Levi pulled out his pistol. 

He shot all who came near and covered Eren. 

Eren and Reiner continued to chop away at each other until a gunshot rang out. 

Judah was the one who shot Reiner, “ABA!” 

He was crying and both his parents were concerned. 

“Aba! Nikko is dead!” 

Eren and Levi’s entire bodies went numb. Judah pressed forward, “Aba and Baba.” 

He looked them in the eye, “I’m going to kill them all.” 

Gunshots rained down outside and the titans screamed. 

Judah pressed forward placing his pistol in his pants and cocked his shotgun. He was so fast it there was no keeping up. 

Eren rushed forward and down to a deeper level of the compound. Levi’s fear grew as they plunged deeper into the abyss. Judah could be heard ahead. He sounded like the angel of death himself. 

Erwin was yelling for Armin and more fighters were surging into them. 

It looked like someone had already used up their defenses? 

Maybe it was Armin!? 

Eren and Levi ran down one of the hallways only to see someone standing in the dark with something in their hand. 

Ymir was bleeding and she looked like she wasn’t going to make it much longer. Erwin stepped forward, “Where is Histora and where is Armin?!” 

She looked at Judah with such hate in her eyes, “You killed my daughter.” 

Judah pointed the gun at her, “No, but I wouldn’t bat an eye at the chance to do it.” 

Ymir made some motion in the dark, “I know you did. I was told.” 

Erwin yelled his questions again. 

She tossed something at Judah. It was then that Eren noticed that Judah had been caught in a bear trap device and couldn’t move. That’s why Erwin must have stopped his pursuit. Judah shot her, using his last bullet only to realize that what she’d thrown was a grenade. 

Judah looked at it. 

He started to scream at his luck. 

He had a daughter. 

He had another baby on the way. 

He had a wife. 

_Fuck! Aviva! AVIVA! I’M SORRY! AVIVA!_

Levi was running with Eren towards him but Erwin was closer. 

He grabbed the grenda and threw it. 

He was able to spare Judah. 

But… 

Not himself. 

When the smoke cleared, Levi was scrambling on his hands and knees towards Erwin. Blood was everywhere. He was gritting his teeth, trying to not make noise, while clutching his mangled arm. He was missing below the elbow and some shrapnel was lodged in his side, neck, chest, and face. 

Eren was trying to get his son out of the trap while Judah screamed and cried about Erwin’s arm. 

Erwin grabbed Levi, “I’m fine. Find Armin and Histora.” 

Eren yelled, “No! This is my time!” 

He had such rage in his eyes. 

A rumble of new MTs coming down the hallway spelled their end. How could they defend themselves from swarming titans? Eren let out a snarl, “You keep them safe and I’ll fight!” 

Levi spat, “BRAT! YOU’RE INSANE! I have to help you!” 

Eren pushed him away, “NO!” 

He needed to find Historia and do _it_! 

But, his husband and son were vulnerable and wounded. 

Eren grit his teeth and started fighting with the MTs as they swarmed around him, biting, scratching, and wounding him. It seemed hopeless as they started to tear him to shreds. 

“EREN!” 

Jaffa’s voice was piercing, “EREN! TAKE MY HAND!” 

She made her way through the swarm while Keita hacked away at them. He was so much like his mother. She was out of breath, “Take my hand!” 

Eren looked at her like she was going to stab him. 

She seemed unsure but grabbed his hand regardless. 

He hissed. 

But, then they were of the same mind. 

She wanted to see Historia but couldn’t. 

Not until Eren wanted the same thing. 

They saw her and Eren was off with Jaffa trailing behind. 

Eren’s speed was inhuman and her legs burned. 

His determination was terrifying. 

Her lungs burned as she gasped for air to keep going. 

When they got to the door, Eren hit it so hard it buckled and burst forth. He was looking for Historia on the helipad. He’d barely noticed that they’d climbed up stories and somehow come out outside. 

Zeke was there. He was standing before the helicopter and then stepped inside. He looked disgusted but another man was ready to fight on his behalf. Jaffa and Eren made quick work killing those who were left. Zeke seemed annoyed at this fact. 

Eren’s sights were set on him. 

He was so blinded he’d almost forgot about Historia. 

_Almost._

“EREN!” 

Historia’s voice was shrill. Eren turned around and saw her holding Jaffa against her with a knife. Jaffa looked fearful and embarrassed. She saw how enraged Eren was and braced for him to come through her to get to Historia. Oh well, she’d always known it would be like this. 

“Eren! Don’t! I don’t want to hurt her and I know you don’t want to hurt her or me.” 

Eren paused. 

“Historia, I’m going to do what I didn’t get to do in the original life.” 

Historia and Eren had been circling each other till she was pressed against the helicopter, “Then I guess I’ll just have to do what I didn’t get to do as well.” 

She ripped the knife across Jaffa’s neck. 

A shot rang out. 

Eren lunged forward. 

He grabbed Jaffa. 

Zeke reached out and pulled a bleeding Historia into the helicopter before shutting the door. 

His gaze was on Eren. 

He thought he looked nothing like their father. 

His mother must have really been something. 

Eren saw the man that had walked through the hospital. 

Eren saw the man who pretended to be his father to frame him. 

Eren saw the man that had something to do with their horrible father’s death. 

Zeke had probably killed him himself. 

Eren had always imagined it. 

That old sandy audi he started driving around after his wedding to Levi was found outside the city, in the woods, against the trees, and stuck in a swampy area. 

He imagined the light being low but gold from the nearby city lights. 

Just Grisha, alone in the car, looking at the glove compartment as he thought about his wife. 

And then a man came out of the woods. 

Yeah, they told him he opened the glove box and placed the gun in his mouth. 

But, Eren thought that if Grisha had known someone and let them into his car, then… 

That person could have put the gun in his mouth. 

He had always thought that. 

The helicopter flew away and Eren checked Jaffa’s neck. She was cut but they could stop the bleeding. 

Eren turned to see Levi holding the gun. 

He was breathing hard, “Goddamn, brat. You’re such a fucking headache.” 

Everything hit them at once. 

Eren stood, tears in his eyes, “YOU SHOULD HAVE KILLED HER!” 

Eren broke down, shattering in front of Levi. He seemed to have had some sort of mental break and he kept talking about all sorts of things that Levi didn’t understand. He kept lamenting over his inability to do it. 

After a long time, Levi grabbed him and yelled, “WHAT DIDN’T YOU DO?!” 

Eren was weeping, “Don’t you understand?!” 

Levi shook his head, “No!” 

Eren wiped his mouth, “You did this! You had a hand in this!” 

Levi was livid and frustrated, “What the fuck did I do!? Come on! Tell me and end this hell we’re trapped in!” 

‘You let her live.” 

“Jaffa!?” 

“Yes! And then you had the sick idea to make me get to know her! You walked with her in her wedding! You just wanted it to hurt me and the kids!” 

“I NEVER WANT TO HURT YOU! I JUST THINK YOU SHOULD GIVE HER A CHANCE!” 

Eren screamed, “YOU CHOSE HER OVER YOUR CHILDREN! IF SHE LIVES, SHE CAN HURT OUR CHILDREN!” 

Eren was struggling against Levi’s grip, “She can kill them. You chose her over them and you made me realize I’d have to do something horrible twice!” 

Levi grabbed Eren’s face, “What do you have to do?” 

Eren looked shocked, “You know what I have to do.” He said it like he was leveling a claim against Levi in court. Levi had not the faintest idea what he was talking about. 

He stroked the tears from Eren’s eyes, “No, I don’t know, Eren. I just...wanted you to have more family and she can’t have children so it ends with her. She makes Keita happy. I’m sorry. I just wanted everyone to be happy. But, what do you have to do? I can’t help you if I don’t know what you have to do!” 

Eren squirmed, “I can’t forgive you.” 

“For what?!” Levi was crying, gripping him closely to him, “FOR WHAT?” 

Eren voice was softer, “For making me eat them.” 

Levi froze, “For….what?” 

Eren looked at Levi and it was like a weight had been lifted, ‘I have to eat the royals so I can use the coordinate to end this.” 

Levi looked at Jaffa. 

Eren’s voice was pained, “I didn’t in the past life. Remember the inauguration of Historia? I didn't eat her. I didn’t eat her and then she revealed herself when we left the wall and found another world entirely.” 

Keita was there now with Judah and a bleeding Erwin. Keita had heard it all, “Jaffa is my ward. She withstood the pull of Zeke this entire time. She’s been with us since day one, hiding among my men in my squad.” 

Eren and Levi were shocked. Keita had taken such a risk but it paid off. Jaffa stood up, “Eren, Levi, we’ve got to head out and see who is left. Erwin needs medical attention and the men will be waiting for further instruction. I want to look at the dead titans, too.” 

Eren looked suspicious, “The men? There are no men left!” 

Keita shook his head, “Aviva sent The Men with Iron Teeth on behalf of Maxim and Ilya.” 

Judah looked shocked, “She did?” 

Keita nodded, “She gave them weapons, too. They weren’t going to come otherwise.” 

Judah’s face contorted, “Weapons?” 

He thought about it and then, “Oh my God….She’s amazing.” 

Keita nodded, “Now, let’s go and then you can tell her when we get back before heading to Iraq and Iran.” 

Erwin was numb, “Armin.” 

Judah looked around, “Where is Vati?” 

Levi and Eren snapped back into reality, “We should look through the compound and the bodies…” 

Levi couldn’t swallow of breathe, “Nikko.” 

Erwin wept openly. Eren broke down again. 

Their son was dead. 

Judah craved his wife and felt responsible for his brother’s death. 

Where did they go now from here? 

Where was Armin? 

And what was that titan made of? 

Why did Nikko have to die? 

Was Armin dead? 

A great weeping swept over them as they made their way back to HQ.


	192. Vivre

_How did this happen?_

It was like, all the air had left our lungs in one single moment. We had been running. The gravel crunching under our feet. There was nothing we could do as the black and grey landscape rose up to meet us with it’s dark mouth wide open. It’s three large eyes roamed four stories high above us. 

And then the sky started to fall. 

Bits of stars and mortar crushed us all as we tried, futilly, to hang onto life. 

The search for life and meaning for it was the ultimate goal of every person. 

But what purpose was any of this? 

Black rain fell from the sky on our clothes. 

We looked at our hands and arms only to discover that it was dark red and only seemed black. 

We felt our guns, heavy and metal, slam against our bodies and despite being shell-less we refused to throw them down. Our sounds 

echoed

echoed

echoed

echoed

echoed

And large metal nets of spikes pitted the side of the walls around us. 

Nothing was the same. 

Our children were fighting for their lives around us. Tears streaming down their faces. Their hands stained with blood and their bodies broken. 

And this was only the first of the biggest fights ahead of them. 

In front of us stood a large stone of marble. 

It was pitted and in the crevices obsidian tears lingered before running off. 

How were we going to move this? 

We looked at each other and saw years on our faces. 

Kisses, hugs, children, deaths, births, and all sorts of experiences that people have who love each other, are in a partnership with each other. 

We were tired. 

We were scared. 

The stone cut our hands and out boots slipped in the mud. 

Black rain continued to fall. 

The smell of blood filled our nostrils. 

Why was there so much blood? 

We kept pushing and pushing till we were sure they were behind us. 

Eyes bloodshot. 

Runny noses. 

Feverish skin. 

They had some semblance of humanity left in them. 

But, did we? 

We could feel their eyes on us. They were tracing our veins and arteries through our skin. Our hair was stuck to our necks and our body burned from the exertion of strained muscles trying to move such a heavy burden. 

Oh! Lo, was us! 

Doomed as were were. 

All we ever were was mortar shaped into stone. 

We are lowly and though we may seem comely to those who look upon our blessings with envy. 

We are wretched creatures. 

Call us Sisyphus. 

We felt their hands on our backs. 

Hot and pawing. 

We felt their breath on our necks. 

Cold and clawing. 

And then we saw their hands added on top our ours. Their hips pressed against us. They moved with us in order to lift the stone. 

We pressed through. 

Our salvation was at hand as they finished the work we’d left undone. 

We exchanged looks of love and fatigue. 

We noted the shapes of our lips, the curves of our cheeks, and the dips along our jaw. We noticed our love in the quiet. 

It was lost on us that this was only the eye of the storm. 

And then we turned back to the gruesome world, expecting the cruelty that was the death of a child. 

A child we had know since birth. 

A child of our brothers’ love and life. 

A child who ate only plants and drank clean water and made others laugh. 

A child of endless possibilities. 

A child with kind blue eyes and decadent chocolate hair. 

We prepared ourselves to bury a son. 

In the corner of the room of war’s grand machinations, we saw him with his eyes closed and face clean of black rain. Against him, the always humorous and engaging russet haired mother-in-law who was loved by three men, a daughter, a granddaughter, and -most notably- our precious dearly departed son. 

She had wiped his face if only for him look a moment more like we all knew. 

We stepped forward. 

Yells from the others fading into the background as a sense of relieved normalcy began to sit in. 

Finally, America was free. 

For these men, that meant it was as good as over for the rest of the world. 

For us, it meant we had to bury a beloved child of our expansive family. 

We gently, carefully, touched our fingertips together. 

One of us said Kaddish. 

Or maybe we imagined it? 

The sound of rain was at the forefront. 

One of us leaned down to touch his child-like face. 

One of us gasped. 

We both leaned down to inspect our unconscious comrade and sweet son. 

Another gasp. 

The men ran by and asked us to help them pack up. 

They wanted to celebrate this victory. 

Oh, God, the things they all must have seen. 

But, they didn’t know, that we had prepared ourselves to bury a son. 

And now- 

We had to bury a friend instead.


	193. Les sans papier

The plane landed with a heaviness that couldn't be described. This homecoming was fraught with anxiety and depression. Judah looked towards his sister for strength and guidance. She held onto Zev but her gaze was always on him. 

Erwin’s arm was gone again. David's was damaged and would need surgery. Tuvia and Yoni needed to be hospitalized for a few days but were expected to recover. 

Mikasa kept her pain to herself as always while fussing over Keita’s broken hand and Jaffa’s mental wounds. She had found out her son had smuggled his wife with them when they accidentally walked in on them in an impassioned embrace kissing. 

The other kids took up for them and even chidded David and she for ruining their potential first coupling. 

It wasn't clear if they were sleeping together yet and they all worried. 

Mikasa actively tried to not think of things like that since she had birthed her children and merely imagined they hugged and reproduced. 

Damn, she was old and she wished times were simple like before. 

Before….. 

When it was just One Eye. 

She swallowed and turned to David, “Do you think One Eye knows where Armin is?” 

David sighed, thinking, “I believe….you are in denial.” 

Her gaze begged him to at least consider it a possibility. He did so and relented, “Maybe? But, how do we know? Who do we ask?” 

She swallowed again, her mouth dry. Levi’s sobs pulled David's attention away and she covered her ears. 

_Tuvia_

She would ask Tuvia to call him. No, Zev! Zev was his second! 

She turned to see Zev kissing Gisela before he kissed the hand of Judah. Judah was beside himself with guilt. He'd insisted on riding next to Erwin the entire time. 

He couldn't look at his brother or father. There was too much there. 

Her stomach clenched and she threw up. 

Her own brother was so far away from her. She’d been devastated when she’d heard of his infidelity. It was so unlike Eren. Eren was so fiercely loyal and she’d always known that the four had explicit arrangements with each other but no one else. 

She wanted him to be tested for an STD. 

_You’re not my mother, Mikasa!_

She heard it in a distant memory as they were finally allowed to leave the plane. The sick and hurt went first. Her precious David nursing his arm and trying to have a brave face. He could lose it just like Erwin. She worried it would wound him psychologically as it had Erwin. Her husband was a shrink but not for himself normally. 

Mikasa grabbed her stuff and watched as Eren basically carried Levi out of the plane. 

There was a distinct separation among the groups. The wounded left and those who remained seemed to almost gather in groups with very clear motivations. There were those who wanted to prepare for the next fight. There were those who wanted sleep and to forget it all. They never wanted to fight again. There were those who wanted to go home and just rest till they absolutely had to go back. 

She saw Bianca rushing to Tuvia. Her stomach was just barely there. It was Aviva who stood out with her tight fitting pink dress on and small but round stomach. Gaia smiled as she whispered to her about her daddy coming home to see them. 

Aviva could sense the despair and word of the tragedy had already spread. It seemed the family was putting off shiva and the conversation in order to not acknowledge the loss of someone completely irreplaceable from their family. 

Aviva nearly burst into tears but brought it back at the sight of Zev and Gisela. Aviva thought Gisela looked colorless and lethargic. She held onto Zev who had seemingly grown two inches. He towered over her and Judah as they approached. 

Aviva’s heart thrummed like a harp as she looked at her husband. 

He ran to her, arms open, and lips parted. 

When they kissed, the world burned. 

His tears tasted salty and yet, refreshing. 

His hand went to her lower back and pulled her against him as his other went to his daughter’s curly hair. 

He pulled back, eyes full of tears and then took his daughter from her. 

Gaia had such beautiful features like her father. 

Gisela and Zev kissed her and then Gaia. 

Mikasa came over and wanted to see Zev in private. 

He reluctantly agreed but not before giving his precious wife instructions to go home and rest. Judah watched him go and then turned to Aviva, “I have to go to the hospital.” 

She nodded and he handed Gaia back over. 

“But, I want you to know I’ve asked Ori to stay with us till the next leg of the war. Can you show him to the house and set him up in one of the rooms?” 

She had never heard Judah speak like this. Not to her. He was pleading and almost guilty. Aviva nodded again dumbly and Gisela said she really felt faint and would get in the car to wait. 

Ori came from behind and smiled shyly. He honestly thought Gisela was the perfect woman but this woman was almost on the same level. He felt his hands get clammy and he suddenly had a lump in his throat. Judah touched his shoulder in a friendly way and then left them. Aviva swallowed, sifting Gaia from one hip to the other, “Okay, let’s go.” 

Ori knew _Let’s go!_ and he picked up his bag, shifting it higher up on his shoulder. He followed them, watching Gaia stare at him and smile. She waved at him and he felt his chest fill with warmth. 

Such a sweet thing to see after so much death and destruction. 

* 

* 

* 

At the hospital, Judah waited nervously outside of Erwin’s recovery room till the nurse said he could enter. He was drugged and didn’t quite understand what was going on or where he was. 

Judah couldn’t explain how it felt to walk into that room and see Erwin like that. They had to take more of the arm because of infection than before. His chest and neck were bandaged due to cuts from shrapnel. His cheek was bruised and eye black from Ymir’s punches. Erwin looked like he was dying and it broke something in Judah he never even knew was there. 

This was his daddy. This was the man that made him white tigers and who his vati loved. This was the man worthy of vati’s love and his aba adored him. Their relationship had always perplexed Judah. 

It seemed unhealthy and abusive. Daddy always had some power over aba and some sort of dirt. But, maybe he was just so protective of aba that he made it that way? Was Erwin really motivated by positive forces and not the slightly nefarious ones he always assumed? 

Judah swallowed and placed the flowers by Erwin’s bedside. He’d got them in the shop at the hospital on his way in and it had been a strange choice. Jews never brought flowers to funerals. 

Would someone send flowers to the funeral? 

His stomach clenched and he suddenly felt like taking the vase and slamming it against the wall. 

He didn’t want there to be even one flower at the funeral. 

Judah broke down into tears, holding his head while sitting with a heavy thud in the armchair next to the bed. His sorrow swelled up in his body and the ache made his ribs strain trying to hold it all in. Judah wept openly and loudly. 

Erwin stirred in the bed. His eyes moved behind his eyelids trying to open. When he did get them up, he saw things a little less clearly. Almost like he had some sort of film on them. It was like when the warehouse had fallen on them and the smoke had gotten in his eyes. He heard Levi crying next to him. 

He reached over, “Lee, don’t cry. Don’t cry, please. You know I can’t handle when you get like that.” 

Judah felt him take a hold of his arm. His grip was very weak but it was all Judah needed. He looked at Erwin who rolled his head to the side and gave a faint smile, “Lee, you’re so beautiful. You’re even pretty when you cry. But, I really can’t stand it and I know you like to torture me but please, not today. Not after all that’s happened. Come here.” 

He tried to pull Judah into the bed with him. 

Judah let him. 

He held onto Erwin and buried his face in his chest. 

That was when Erwin noticed the smell. 

He was just a little off in scent from Levi. Erwin smelled the top of his head and smiled, “Oh, Judah….it’s you.” He had such warmth in his voice that Judah cried harder. “I thought you were Lee. You really look a lot like him when he first joined the marines. You know, he was so attractive, we had a lot of trouble keeping the older officers from taking it out on him. He got his fair share but he also proved pretty quickly he didn’t need protection because he’d be the one fucking with and not the one being fucked with.” 

Erwin chuckled but it soon turned into coughs. 

Judah couldn’t speak but he didn’t have to, “It’s okay, Judah. I don’t regret anything. What was I going to do? Let you get hurt? I would never let that happen. You have a daughter and a son on the way, you know, if Aviva has her way it’ll be a boy, and you’re married to my little girl.” 

Judah was still silently crying. 

It hadn’t soothed him like Erwin thought it would have. Erwin pulled him closer with his one good arm, “Plus, I’m pretty much obsessed with you and love you so much it’s painful. God, the day you were born was such an emotional day for Lee. I didn’t get it at all and I still don’t. But, I knew better than to push him. He went to the temple every day and Eren was a wreck because, well...Eren is a wreck all the time. We had more kids than we could shake a stick at and Zev was sick.” 

I was jealous of Lee. Here he had two kids at once and he was acting like it was a curse. Gisela was actually pretty ill after the birth. We never told you all because it cleared up but you two would be separated from each other in order for her treatments and it was as if we were burning you. You’d scream and scream. Zev was so upset about you being upset.” 

And then I’d turn around and see Armin helping our kids beautifully, easily as he always could. He’d have Zev squared away and Mila would often take up time with him while...Nikko and Hanji were nearby. Eren was having some serious emotional breakdowns about being a father that caused him to have to take breaks away from everyone and just be alone. He would get Ezra cleaned up and see to Nikko before taking Gisela to her treatments because Lee just _couldn’t_ do anything.” 

I think you were a week old when I finally had enough of it and went to get you out of your crib. You were screaming and crying and pooping and being a terror like always. I held you up and looked at your eyelashes all stuck together and wet and kind of played with your soft hair because it was thicker than any of my son’s.” 

You needed something and I didn’t know what that was but I could at least offer you me. Lee is like that. I never really know what he wants or needs so I just make myself available. I smother and cover him with my presence because I want to be there for the day he reaches out. Eren gets his needs more than I and Armin is really intune with him. So, there I was with a little, angry Levi named Judah and felt helpless.” 

I didn’t like your name at first. It wasn’t really something I would have picked for you. I would lay you on my chest and listen to you complain and cry while I read about your name. “Praised” was what I kept finding so I would joke with you that you were merely “praising” instead of yelling. But, one day, you were quiet when I came to get you. I laid you on my chest, Lee was gone and I still hadn’t seen him really touch you or your sister. You curled closer to me and I felt you seemingly resign yourself to our routine. It was nice. I really got a lot of reading done that day.” 

I asked Lee a few times why Judah. He wouldn’t reply. It wasn’t time for me to know, I suppose. He seemed afraid to touch you, to let himself really love on you. It was sad seeing him so lost. I would hold him while you were on my chest and he would reach over to touch you. After a few months, he stopped going to temple everyday and he would gather you up in his arms without hesitation. Gisela got better and you all blended in with the other kids. Eren got calmer and returned to us as he once was.” 

Erwin was tired. His eyes were heavy but the pressure of Judah once again lay his head on his chest made him smile, “So, my arm is nothing if it allows me to praise for the rest of my days.” Judah hugged him closer and Erwin settled in, “Please, don’t feel guilty or upset. Just promise me you’ll stay safe. Promise me you’ll help me find Armin.” 

And then, Erwin fell asleep. 

* 

* 

* 

“Is this really what you want?” 

_It was all coming back to him as he scaled the seemingly endless hill before him. It was grassy and spotted with tall trees that he had to bob-and-weave through. His breathing was somewhat level but the pain unbearable. He wasn't healed enough for running, walking, or even crawling but here he was. Runnin’ up that hill like a monster with tunnel vision. No human could be this determined and this injured and accomplish what he was._

“Because, if it is, we can make it happen.” 

_He was screaming now through clenched teeth. He hurt. He hurt so badly. What they had done to him was unspeakable. It wasn’t science, it was perversion. He ached in his bones, in his soul, and his blood was now thick and gooey in his veins. He kept running while the cold air made his skin hiss._

“I think we should just try it.” 

_He screamed again and narrowly avoided one of the trees._

“What are you two doing?” 

_He reached the top of the hill and made his way to the edge. He stopped, looking out and over it at the water below and the beautiful mountains. Steam hissed it’s way out of and off of his body as he panted. He tried to catch his breath and calm his heartbeat._

“Don’t stop.” One Eye appeared from behind. He, too, was out of breath but not as bad off. 

He checked his watch, “Better give it another hour.” 

Armin’s knees went weak. He whimpered as tears sprang to his eyes. His reply was timid and pained, “No.” He was pleading with him. 

One Eye took a deep breath, “I’m sorry. But, I think it’s for the best.” 

Armin turned back around, the intake of cold air burned. He felt like he’d been punched. 

‘Armin?” 

He turned around, “What?!” 

One Eye gave him a pointed look, “Is this what you wanted?” 

Armin screamed through his clenched teeth before jumping. 

* 

* 

* 

Mikasa opened the door to her apartment and took a deep breath. “Oh god…” She frowned at the smell of something spoiled in the fridge. “I told David to throw out the cream cheese and lox!” She had caught him eating it and he’d swore he’d do it before they left. Her husband was sometimes a little cliche and fit that nice Jewish boy stereotype well. 

Zev chuckled, “That would have been painful to do, aunt Mikasa.” 

She rolled her eyes, “It smells painful now.” 

Zev was dead on his feet as he slumped down on her couch, “Why am I here and you’re not with David?” 

Zev removed his jacket, “Or with baba and aba?” 

His voice broke and the familiar sting of tears came to his eyes, “I don’t know how to feel anything other than sadness and loss right now. I’m almost so numb to it I feel like I’m not mourning properly. None of us are if you think about it. We’re like zombies. We...we had such feeling with Keita and Tuvia and now we’re just...lost.” 

She nodded. She agreed. Zev cut to the heart of the matter, “Zev, I want you to call One Eye and see if he has Armin. Then, once we know if he’s alive or dead then we can focus on the funeral and moving forward,” her voice broke, “in some way or another.” 

Zev thought about it, ‘My father is probably dead…” 

Mikasa looked at him, “You just don’t know your father like I do.” 

Zev’s head lifted and he seemed hopeful at her tone, “Really?” 

Mikasa nodded, “He’s full of surprises.” 

Zev pulled out his phone and started making calls. After transferring around and confirming numbers, he dialed One Eye’s small cottage house where his wife answered the phone, “Yes?” 

“Hello, ma’am.” Zev spoke perfect German for the rest of the conversation. She spoke to him about mundane things and wanted to know how he’d been because he hadn’t called in a while. Mikasa was surprised that this was the way it was going. 

She never understood Armin’s relationship with One Eye and she never would. He had kept a close bond with a man who wanted to destroy their family and yet, somehow, at their weakest Armin was always able to save them. She thought about how David would say he was their Moses. 

By the time Mikasa heard Zev talking to One Eye she had already burst into tears at the thought of her husband. 

Zev cleared his throat, “Is my vati with you?” 

On the other end of the line, Constantine brought the cup of coffee his stepdaughter brought to him up to his lips. He contemplated how to go about this, “Your vati is not with me right now.” 

It wasn’t a lie, exactly. 

Zev started to crumble, ‘Do you know what has happened to him? How did he die?” 

Constantine then realized what the root was, “As far as I know, your vati hasn’t met his end. He’s a fighter, son. Don’t give up like that.” 

“You know he is alive?” 

“I know he is not dead.” 

“You have seen him?” 

“Zevka, your vati is made of the stuff of diamonds and steel. He fights with every breath for survival. So, you didn’t find a body? That means he probably didn’t meet his end there. I’d operate under the auspicious that he is alive and fighting still.” 

Constantine bid him farewell and hung up. 

Mikasa had already left to head to David. She couldn’t wait to hear what Zev found out. 

Zev then called Judah, “Hey.” 

“What?” 

“Pick me up.” 

“No.” 

“Judah, come pick me up. I’m stranded.” 

Judah hung up leaving Zev in limbo till fifteen minutes later he was at the door, “Get up and get in the fucking car.” 

Zev followed him, noting how off Judah seemed. 

He opened the door for him and Judah seemed relieved. 

“What did Miki want?” 

Zev told him about her request. 

Judah brightened substantially at the thought of Armin being alive and well. However, it turned and he started pulling over on the side of the road. 

Zev was caught off guard, “Judah!? Judah! Are you alright?” 

Judah opened the door and vomited. He felt so strange. It was a sickness that had no name. He sat back in the chair, suddenly extremely tired. It was a weird tired. He also hated how Mikasa’s apartment had smelled and the smell lingering on Zev made it worse. 

“Fuck, you smell so bad!” 

Zev seemed wounded, “I know I’m in need of a shower but you’re no spring flower either!” 

“No! It’s Mikasa’s wallflowers!” 

“Judah? You love how her apartment smells! You always have…” 

Judah felt what he called his bond with Gisela move. He drove closer home and refused to ride with the windows up. He called his sister, “G?” 

“Yeah?” Her voice was weak sounding. 

“Are you sick? What is this? Why are we sick like this?” 

She groaned, “Get home and I’ll tell you what I think it is.” 

Zev was panicked, “GISELA!? HOW SICK ARE YOU?” 

She told him not to worry and they got home in record time. 

Judah was nearly running to her room when Zev got in front of him, “NO! She's my wife!” 

He pushed him out of the way and went into the bedroom where she was in the covers, freshly showered, and a trashcan by the bed nearly covered in vomit. He just wanted to be close to her. 

He moved under the covers holding her close and burying his nose in her hair. She smelled good. She smelled fine. She pulled back and ran her hands through his hair. 

“Judah?” 

He hung on her every word, “Yes?” 

She took a shaky breath, “I took a pregnancy test. I’m pregnant and this is morning sickness.” 

He blanched and she continued, “Apparently, you are experiencing it alongside me. I’m sorry.” 

He groaned, “Shit.” 

‘I’m sorry. I haven’t told Zev or anyone. I just took the test when we got home because I was curious.” 

“How far along?” 

“I could be four weeks, six weeks, at the most eight.” 

He snuggled closer to her, ‘This is fucking horrible. Why does Aviva do this to herself willingly.” 

Gisela laughed a little, “I know. I didn’t plan this at all.” 

“Why is it happening in the afternoon?!” 

“You know it’s not just in the morning, right?” 

Judah sighed, “Now I do….fuck.” 

“Yeah, I know...fuck.” 

* 

* 

* 

Eren waited while Levi was treated at the hospital before being released. He helped him walk to the car and close the door. Eren sat down inside and turned to Levi, “What do we do now?” 

Levi was comatose. 

Somehow, Eren roused a little understanding from him and got him to tell him the word: home. 

Levi and Eren walked inside, let the dog off the leash, and headed to their room. Their legs were heavy and their hearts broken. 

Eren heard his husband’s groan at the thought of being this gross and getting into their clean sheets. Petra kept up the cleaning when they were done for extra money on the side. Her daughter and son helped her and Eld liked taking care of the animals. Their oldest son had treated him at the hospital and gave them condolences. There would be a vigil that night. 

Levi felt Eren pull them into the bathroom, “I’m not going to let you be filthy, neshama. Don’t worry.” 

Eren gave him a kiss on the cheek while helping him undress. 

They showered, sitting down in the hot water. Eren left soft kisses against Levi’s shoulder as he leaned over to lean on him. Levi was basically a body without a soul. 

Eren turned the water off, dried himself and Levi off. He pulled out some boxers and tshirts and dressed them. Pulling back the covers, he noted how Levi had made the bed last because of the way the covers were folded and tucked. Eren helped Levi get into the bed before giving Blitzen a pat on the head. He jumped up but Eren didn’t want him to join them just yet. 

Eren carried such guilt that it weighed him down. He cheated on his poor husband. Sure, now he kind of saw what Levi’s intentions had been. Sure, he couldn’t have known that Eren was going to have to eat Jaffa. Levi was looking at it from the perspective that he just wanted Eren to endlessly happy. 

And Eren was just fucked up and fucks everything up. 

Now, he was going to have to eat a girl that was the soulmate of his sister’s son. He was going to have to eat that cunty little bitch Historia. 

_I’m not even that mad about that. I’m fuckin’ over her bitch ass. Her coronation was also pretty shitty. Like, I know we were poor but they didn’t even have tea for Levi and couldn’t get a fucking piece of pound cake for Armin._

He would also need to eat his half brother. 

That was a lot of cannibalism even for a titan. 

The TB strain going around was mysterious. Apparently, Levi had the worst case. Ilya and Maxim also had advanced cases but not as severe. David had a suspicion that both Judah and Gisela had contracted it as well. 

And Nikko… 

“Eren?” 

Levi voice was frail. 

“Levi?” 

“Hold me.” 

Eren rolled over to take him into his arms. He pressed his face in his back and closed his eyes. Levi took a shuddering breath and then began to sob, “Make it stop, Eren. Please, make it stop hurting!” 

Eren held him tighter, “I would if I could. You know I would! I love you.” 

Levi’s cries grew louder and Eren could do nothing more than listen. 

* 

* 

* 

Judah made his way into the kitchen of his home. He heard Gaia’s laugh and looked over to see her playing with her toys with Ori. He smiled to himself at his daughter and her beautiful smile and laugh. He just needed to find his wife now. 

She was cooking, speaking on the phone to her brother Yoni. She told him bye and gave him such an exasperated look. Her voice was like lightning striking him as she fell into a torrent of Russian about why he hadn’t told her about her father or her brothers and where was vati and why did he ignore her and come home to lock himself in Gisela’s room? 

She then slapped him as he tried to grab her ass and pull her into his arms. She told him she hated him. She told him he better find her vati or she’ll kill him. She told him he was the worst husband in the world and a loser. He kept trying to pull her in and she started popping him with her spoon she was using to cook dinner. She asked about the funeral and then she let him hold her. 

He wrapped his arms around her and she buried her face in his neck. Her voice was sweet and tender. Her perfectly crisp Russian was like an opera, “Your friend over there?” 

He replied in Yiddish as was normal, “Yeah? What about him?” 

“He’s not all there is he? He’s slow, right? I talk, he smiles and nods. He honestly has some sort of problem, right?” 

Judah smirked, “You think he has a learning disability?” 

She thought about how he’d been like having a second child today in all the ways she had to direct him around and for all the times she asked him something and he didn’t reply or just replied with, “My name is Ori” or “Yes ma’am.” 

He chuckled a bit, “You really think Ori is slow?” 

She popped him, “I do!” 

Ori cleared his throat and, surprisingly to Judah, replied in Russian, “Ma’am, I just can’t speak English. I thought Judah would have told you that. I can only speak Hebrew or Russian.” 

He pulled her away so he could see how embarrassed she was. She covered her face and slapped him all over, “LET ME GO OR NO SUPPER!” 

Ori smiled and walked over with Gaia, “You speak Russian?” 

Aviva looked up and noted his attractive smile. She gave him a coy smile back, “Of course, I speak Russian. How did you learn?” 

Judah felt a little flirtation bloom between them but he didn’t really care. He saw that Gaia was reaching for him. Ori flew into a discussion about literature and Aviva blossomed. She loved Russia and all that came from it. 

Judah rolled his eyes and kissed Gaia. 

“Baby girl and I are going to swim while mommy and Ori talk Trotsky.” 

Judah lowered himself into the pool, listening to his daughter laugh, and began to float with her while thinking of Erwin sitting in bed all by himself and Armin god knows where. He also knew he was running from the recent loss of a dear family member. He was running and running. After a while, Zev came to get him. 

“Come eat, my little lion.” 

Zev smiled and, for the first time, really reminded him of Erwin’s. 

He dried Gaia quickly and then handed him to Zev. Judah was drying himself and then Zev had him in his arms and was kissing down his neck, “I love you.” 

Judah squirmed, “What’s going on with you?!” 

He pushed him away and went inside. 

Ori was helping Aviva plate the food now that they were speaking the same language. He seemed to beam as he spoke to her. Gisela sat down with a thud and closed her eyes. 

They began eating but she couldn’t touch her food. Judah also couldn’t touch his pasta. 

Aviva felt extremely slighted. 

“You’re not eating? I cook this for you. You think I am a short order cook and I make a thousand dishes? I make food for you and you should eat it.” 

Zev smirked and Ori seemed amazed. He mumbled in awe, “This is exactly what I want in a wife.” 

Gisela left the table and Zev followed her with concern. 

Judah covered his mouth and then went to the bathroom. 

Aviva was almost speechless, “He….didn’t eat my pasta!” 

Ori shoved a forkful in his mouth, “It’s sababa (awesome).” 

She smiled, “Because I’m sababa.” 

* 

Zev was worried about his wife as she crawled into bed. He laid down next to her. Asher whimpered from his bed and Zev agreed. He pulled her in his arms, “What’s wrong? Is it flu? Is it that TB aba had because if you think about it, you have the symptoms.” 

“No, Woelfchen, it’s not that.” 

“Then what, G? I hate that you’re so ill. Is it the funeral?” 

Zev felt crushed by the weight of it all. 

He wanted to burst into tears but he had none left to cry. His sorrow ate his ability to shed even one. 

She caressed his face and then took his hand, moving it between them and onto her stomach. 

He leaned his head against her forehead, “Is it a cold?” 

She thought he was pretty dense. Her smile was annoyed, much like how her aba’s looked when her baba wasn’t getting it. “It’s not a cold. It’s a bit more life changing.” 

He pulled back, “What? Can you….can you get cancer?” 

She pressed his hand against her stomach harder and looked down. 

He followed her gaze and gently rubbed, “Maybe it’s a kidney stone?” 

She kissed him, “It’s a baby, Zev. You’re going to be a father.” 

Zev kissed her back without really processing the words. 

He then realized she’d said baby and father and you’re…. 

It was quiet. 

She looked up and at him to see him crying. 

She wiped his tears. 

For this, he could cry. 

His tears were of happiness. 

* 

* 

* 

Mila was beating on the doors of the house while tears ran down her face staining the pretty long sleeved, floral dress she wore. It was long enough to keep her warm in the end of winter but also show off her pregnancy. It was yellow. It had been a gift from her mother. 

“I know you don’t do baby showers but I’m just so excited!” Hanji had squealed as she handed her the gift, “SO, this is for MOM!” 

Mila had been thankful. It was so comfortable and she hated wearing pants. Her belly was definitely bigger than her first time around since she was eating more and in a healthier state overall. However, that was considerably changed now. 

She kept beating on the doors till someone answered. 

Maxim was gaunt looking, “Mila.” 

She entered, “I want Levi!” 

Maxim looked around for Ilya. He was much better at things like this. 

Ilya came from the kitchen, “Has something changed with Nikko?” 

Nikko was at the hospital under lock and key till something changed for better or worse. Oskar was there despite everything and Eld and Petra’s oldest son was back up. 

Mila shook her head, “No. No. No, no…..Lylah is with dad and….I want Levi! I WANT LEVI!” 

Maxim’s tack could use some work, “But, don’t you think it’ll kill him to see you?” 

She screamed for Levi and Ilya gave Maxim a look like “Really?” 

Maxim shrugged. 

“Truth is truth. She looks just like her mother.” 

Mila nearly fell on the stairs trying to get up them. Ilya panicked attempting to catch her before anything happened. Mila felt truly lost without Nikko right now and knowing that he was hurt and potentially never going to wake up or be right again was causing her to lose her grip on reality. 

She needed Levi. 

Maybe Levi would tell her it wasn’t real. 

She burst into his room with Blitzen growling low. Eren jerked and huddled over Levi protectively. The sight of her made Levi’s body shake. He sat up and burst into tears. She crawled on the bed, weeping, “Where is momma?” 

He pushed her away but she wouldn’t leave, “Where is momma, Levi?” 

Levi moaned and covered his eyes, “Mila! Please go!” 

She grabbed onto him, “LEVI!” 

He was so awkward and uncomfortable, “My god, Hanji!” 

Eren moved to give them space. 

He shut the door and looked at Ilya and Maxim. 

Eren knew they were worried about Bellamy, Lilly, and Alexi making it back from overseas. 

Ilya spoke, “The funeral?” 

Eren sighed, “We can’t even begin planning that right now.” 

Maxim looked at Ilya, “She’s not Jewish. We don’t have to put her in the ground right away.” 

He’d hoped that was comforting to Ilya but he forgot his husband was a believer and this merely angered him, “She deserves everything done right! Her daughter is a Jew and she is the grandmother of Jews! Her spirit is not free as long as she isn't buried!” 

Eren got his things and told them to watch Levi. He was going to the hospital. 

* 

* 

* 

“It hurts.” Armin said it just to hear his own voice. He was laying in bed and looking at the ceiling. He wondered what Erwin was doing right then and if someone was comforting him. Filing for divorce had been one of the hardest things he’d ever done but at least he did it with Erwin alive and in good health. 

What Erwin had suggested had been unthinkable to him. 

He wondered if he shouldn’t be surprised. 

In the original life, there were moments where Erwin said things like, “I’ve lied and deceived. All of it I’ve done for my own selfishness just to see if my hypothesis was correct. I want to get to Dr. Jaeger's basement and see it for myself.” 

Armin missed him so much it hurt. 

He wanted to just kiss his big stupid tree man face. 

Armin covered his face with a pillow to hide his blush. 

He moved it down and turned to get out of the bed. He walked through One Eye’s house and found him in his study. Armin leaned in the doorway, ‘You’re looking pretty damn old.” 

One Eye’s true name was Constantine Schmith. He was the grandson of Joregen Haagen Schmith and a lover that moved to Stockholm during the war. She hid her pregnancy from his father and only after her son learned about him later at Uni did she reveal to him who his real father was. Constantine was conceived in much the same way. His mother was a lover but she left him with his father due to drug addiction. His father never hated his mother. Instead, he pushed him into academics and activism. 

Armin knew much about the legendary Flammen and Citronen. He sat down and Constantine stretched in his chair, “Zeke is located in Hillah. He’ll have some meetings, make a few calls, and then he’ll get the ranks together and prepare for war.” 

Armin looked at him seriously, “Where do we fight?” 

Constantine wiped his glasses and then laid them on the table. Tuvia’s pieces were his favorite. He’d even bought a few of Cesare’s designs for his stepdaughter. He wondered where Zeke would fight as well. 

“Where do you think he’d fight, Armin?” 

Armin frowned, “I don’t know. If it was up to me….maybe somewhere symbolic.” 

There was no way of Armin or Constantine knowing that at that very moment a similar conversation was going on with Zeke and his generals. He was looking at the map and thinking of all the pros and cons he had with staying in Hillah or moving. Sometimes, symbolism ensured a victory. He looked for something to catch his eye. 

His finger traced along a route on the paper and came to a sudden stop at epiphany. 

Both Armin and Zeke found a city that would be perfect. 

_“Hattin.”_

* 

* 

* 

Oskar looked down at his chart. Tears fell on the paper, clinking and tingling. He looked back up, cleared his throat and rolled his shoulders. His body was heavy and his mind strained. 

The glass box looked more like a coffin. It was designed for the Ackermanns and Bodts specifically. Hanji had kept it a secret from them and Oskar had merely never asked questions. 

Based off of various designs of iron lungs, ventilators, and currently un-invented technology straight from Dr Hanji Zoe’s mind, Nikko waz currently fighting for his life inside an apparatus that kept his lungs pumping, blood circulating, and muscles stimulated. Surgery had been too risky. Hanji had feared this scenario and sought to head it off by creating this masterpiece. 

Oskar leaned on the glass, hearing the door open to his side. Ezra appeared, eyes red and Ilan against his chest. He immediately headed towards Nikko in the glass encasement. 

“Is he dead?” 

Oskar shook his head and then, “Well, yes and no. I’m not sure...only Hanji would have known for sure. I think he’s alive. His eyes move behind his lids and there is a slight heartbeat. Steam is still being produced. That, in my humble opinion, is a very good sign.” 

Ezra leaned his head against the glass, “I called aba but he’s….you know. Baba is….Everyone is all fucked up. I don’t like how we’re doing things but we can’t really do anything.” 

Oskar needed to sit down so Ezra helped him find a chair. 

There was a long and endless silence till Oskar spoke, “You know, Armin always knew what to do.” 

Ezra kissed his son’s head, “I can’t even imagine where he is.” 

Oskar gave a slight snort, “I’m glad I’m not the only one that believes he is alive. That is a great comfort.” 

Ezra kneeled down before him, “Oskar?” 

His head was in his hand, “Hm?” 

Ezra sighed, “I’m just going to be blunt.” 

Oskar smiled thinking about how much he sounded like Eren. His voice was very similar and he couldn’t wait to hear what fell out of his normally loud mouth. 

“I don’t like Mike and I know I should, but he’s just not my thing. You’re always going to be my uncle and Hanji’s husband. I think it’s ridiculous that we’re all tip-toeing around when it’s pretty clear that legally, you’re the one that can decide what happens from here. Mike’s feelings are valid but they’re not priority. She buried him long ago. She went through all of those horrible feelings when he came back after finding true love again.” 

She gave up trying for another child because of him. She never had one with you because you said it wasn’t necessary but that wasn’t really so. She wanted a child badly but with Mila growing up, she assumed it would be odd or there would be another chance maybe later. Then Mila moved and it was put permanently on hold.” 

She and Nikko got together and had Lylah which was so beautiful and amazing for everyone. But, for Hanji, it was the best thing in the world because she’d never thought about being a grandmother. I know she was so excited about this other baby and now I’m scared for Mila’s health and the baby’s because of the stress. I know you are, too. Mila needs you more than Mike, Oskar. I don’t really want you to think you’re just out of the family now.” 

Ezra looked conflicted, “Well, I’ll put it this way, you’ll never be out of mine and my children will know you and stand for you.” 

He stood up, “But, please, heal my brother because we’re all utter shit without him.” 

Oskar smiled, “I’ll do my best. I love him, too.” But, he had a very selfish reason for wanting him to wake up. He wanted to know how she died. How did this happen? 

Ezra left and headed home while Oskar broke down, clutching something in his hand. 

* 

* 

* 

Alexi pulled his coat around his sister tightly. The train lurched and Bellamy prayed relentlessly against the side of the window. They could only stand in the aisle. The car was packed with Men and Women with Iron teeth. Their bags overflowed and their faces were grim. It was the end of a long journey that time had set in motion ages ago. 

Today, they would arrive in the area that would become their new state. 

What a marvelous thing it was. 

It was also teetering on the edge of destruction every moment. 

Alexi was ready to be greeted to cameras and the military. 

Lilly held onto the hope that things would go smoothly or better yet, the world would turn their eyes to the new ghetto government setting up in America to start putting the states back together or at least dealing with their break ups. 

Bellamy kept his thoughts private but he covered a small copy of stories Marco had wrote over his chest along with a small letter in Italian between Marilyn and Zad. 

The other letters were in his suitcase and in a lock box back home. 

Lilly looked at Bellamy, “When we get off this train, I’m going to kiss you.” 

Alexi covered her mouth with his scarf, “No kissing. You didn’t dress appropriately.” He frowned looking at her legs, “You really dressed like shit, Lilly.” 

She didn’t think she was that bad off but he started to worry her. “I’ve lived in Moscow for years. I think I’m fine!” She noted how he frowned, “This isn’t Moscow, Lilka. This is something we know nothing about.” 

Lilly and Alexi stared deeply into each other’s eyes for a long time. Bellamy reached behind him to touch her fingers. He missed the simple days back in her apartment where they let love blossom slowly and purely. Bellamy had always lived with a longing for a soulmate. His last and first date before Lilly was Mila. He was pretty sure his fathers thought he was going to become a priest. 

Then he started looking at his origins and grew closer to Ilya. 

It had taken a long time and many painful internal talks but he’d now embraced his Judaism and returned to it in earnest. 

Lilly was patient, understanding, and never pushed him. He worried he was putting her in danger. He worried she was unhappy with his choices and their physical relationship. 

Bellamy just didn’t have much experience in the bedroom and it made him uncomfortable. 

The train’s whistling scream brought them all out of their thoughts. The hearts of everyone were in their throats, beating wildly. Bellamy grabbed Lilly’s hand and Alexi’s grip tightened on her shoulders. They waited for everyone to push against them to get out. 

But, there was no push. 

Eyes from all corners of the train looked at them to make the first move. 

The tribes were merging and they looked to them to be their leaders. Bellamy felt like Moses. Alexi definitely was the Aaron type and Lilly a perfect Miriam. They exited the train and made their way towards their new land. The checkpoint for the newly erected border was in the distance. Only a few soldiers were present. 

It was almost too good to be true. They had expected a lashback and protests. There were only a few people there from the press and most were from Israel, Kurdistan, and Assyria. Kurdistan and Assyria had been born in their parent’s lifetime and after a bitter legal battle at the Hague, the Kurds and Turks had been found guilty of the Assyrian genocide, therefore required to give them their rightful homeland back. Somehow, all three countries managed to get along while Turkey went back to its old ways hating all three and refusing to admit any wrong doing in their journeys to self determination. 

Bellamy and Alexi gave slight waves to the Israeli and Ukrainian journalists that they knew. Lilly kept her face turned to the barbed wire fence of the border. The zone between the countries was only twenty feet wide. Once they crossed over from Russia into it, they wouldn’t be able to cross back until they had their own visas recognized by the Russians. They hoped they would be okay. 

Because, unfortunately, there was another crossing. 

Lilly turned to Bellamy, “Why is there another crossing!?” 

He pulled her closer, “I don’t know.” 

Alexi was trying to see who it was, “It’s...some fucking separatists!” 

Bellamy felt winded, “I don’t understand!? What is going on!?” 

Some separatists of Russia had claimed a very small, very thin strip of land that happened to be just in front of the crossing from Russia to their new state. Bellamy started running to the crossing, “SIR! Sir! Is there another crossing that wouldn’t require us going from one country to another and then to ours?” 

The man looked like he couldn’t care less about Bellamy’s concern, “No, this is the crossing. You don’t like it, go away.” 

Bellamy held his visa out, ‘With this, can we cross?” 

He looked at the passport and visa, “Da. You can cross. Why not? You’re Russians.” 

Bellamy nicked his head to the side where the separatists were, “Da, they should let Russians in. They’re Russian.” 

Bellamy decided they had no choice but to cross. He handed his passport over but paused, “Lilly, you should go first. I would have never had the strength to do any of this without you. Also, you’re fathers have waited their entire lives for this. An Aristov-Nebetov should be the first.” He also pulled Alexi in front of him and the siblings felt themselves overwhelmed by the moment. Their fathers would be so proud. 

Lilly walked forward, hearing the gravel crunch beneath her feet. She turned to look at Bellamy and smile. He followed her and soon they were all passing into the zone between states. When Lilly reached the other post, she paused. 

Alexi watched how the men there looked at her and it made him immediately step forward to block their view. It made him furious how men would intimidate women like that. He handed his visa over and the man behind the window flicked it off back at him, “Russia means nothing to us. They don’t even give us money and we fight their wars with China and those Ukrainian dogs.” 

Alexi grew belligerent like his papa, “Listen, we’re not those men and we’re not your enemy. Let us through.” 

The man leaned back, “Sounds like you threaten.” 

Alexi smirked, “I do.” 

Agonizing hours passed after the fight between the guards and Alexi came to an end. He sat down with a thud on his suitcase while Bellamy tried reason. Lilly nursed her brother with some medicine she had in her bag. Bellamy’s voice was level like his dad’s but his temper started to flare like his papa’s. Jean and Marco sure had a son that combined them both in the best ways. 

Bellamy came back to Lilly with a red face and shaking fists, “They say we have no visas for our country!” 

Lilly and Alexi looked at each other in a confused way, “Because, we’re new? We don’t have a name or papers or….we have to get there and make those things along with establishing a government. We’re not like the others. We have to start from absolute scratch.” 

Bellamy nodded, “The plan was always to enter into our state, set up a government, write our declaration, and then issue the papers. Currently, we’re all sans papier. (without papers)” 

Alexi groaned, “These bastards know we’re in this tight place and still they insist on fucking us.” 

Lilly giggled a little, “God, you sound so much like tatti when you’re angry.” 

They discussed the situation with the others. The bitter chill of spring ripped through their clothes. Children cried while mothers tried to nurse them. They tried to go back to Russia but now they didn’t have a visa from the separatists to allow them entry and their other visas had no return. Lilly started to shake from cold and defeatism was setting in among them all. 

She saw Alexi looking down at a photo of Dinah and her children. Lilly leaned into him, “You really love her?” 

Alexi blushed slightly, “I can’t even explain it. I saw her and it was just this overwhelming feeling. I’ve dated so many girls and looked for so long that I just didn’t think it was for me. I wonder if she feels the same? I love her children and I would do anything for them.” 

Lilly smiled, ‘Ask her to marry you.” 

Alexi smiled, “I did.” 

Lilly was shocked, “And you never told me?!” 

He shrugged, “She said, come back alive and it’s a maybe.” 

Lilly didn’t like that. Alexi smiled, “But, then she packed all of my things and left me a letter and now we talk and it’s pretty serious. I absolutely love everything about her and I just want this all to be over so I can marry her and be a dad and just live a boring life like papa and tatti.” 

He took her hand, “You dressed like shit.” 

She moved closer, “Will she move here?” 

Alexi kissed the side of his sister’s head, “I think so. She doesn’t understand America or English so, it’d be best probably. However, there are those here in the tribes that dislike her and I’d have to ensure that my new wife was happy and protected.” 

Lilly was worried by that. She’d wondered what had happened to Dinah. She was a likable person but extremely guarded. Only Alexi knew some of the story and Shem would speak to Keita but only about Jaffa and people in the family. 

Lilly looked at him again, “And you’re sure she likes you and wants to be with you? I don’t want you to get hurt.” 

Alexi’s chest swelled a bit, “Well, we’ve already shared a bed so I’d say she likes me and at least wants to be with me in that way.” 

His smirked was sickening. She popped him. But, she was also a little jealous, “Well, at least you’re getting laid.” 

He heard her meaning and then the secret meaning behind it, “Has….Bellamy not made a move?” 

He pushed Bellamy, breaking him out of his worried thoughts, “What?!” 

Alexi looked offended, “Sleep with my sister! What is wrong with you? You’re not sleeping with my sister?! She’s beautiful! Are you blind!?” 

Bellamy’s face flushed as he threw a pen at Alexi to stave off more shoving. Lilly saw it and then looked up at the sky, “Baruch Hashem!” 

She grabbed it and pulled out a blank journal that Bellamy stashed in her bag, “Bell, we can make our own visas here!” 

He looked at her, ‘We don’t have a name…” 

She looked at him, “Valeria. It means “to be strong.” Maybe that’s the kind of name we need.” 

He started to smile brightly, “I love you. Let’s give it a go.” 

He hurriedly started gathering papers and pens. His hand began to cramp as the sun set. Lilly watched at the guards changed and that’s when she gave Alexi his handmade visa. 

“Valeria...what proves she even exists?” 

The man was gruff and regarded Alexi with suspicion. He held up a rolled piece of paper to reveal a declaration of independence. The man begrudgingly allowed Alexi entrance and the others followed. 

They were cold, hungry, and tired. They wanted only to take up residence in the small village that would be their first base till they fleshed out the land. Children cried as they approached the narrow path to their new home. 

Bellamy’s stomach sank as Alexi paused before the group. He had placed his hand on a branch to lift it to clear the path but something made him stay it. 

There was smoke in the air. 

Alexi removed the limb to show a blaze as tall as six or seven feet. 

It illuminated the landscape. 

From the edge of the horizon to the other, there was nothing but flame. 

The ground was scorched. 

Men grabbed branches known for helping to contain fires and went to work. 

If they could only get the blaze under control then they could survey the situation. 

Men with dogs and clubs came from the other side and beat them and bit them. A fight broke out and the women left their children to help. 

Alexi heard the first gunshot and flinched. 

This wasn’t just a scare tactic. 

This was a pogrom. 

* 

* 

* 

_I believe with perfect faith in the coming of the Messiah, and, though he tarry, I will wait daily for his coming._

* 

* 

* 

Alexi knelt down and touched the blackened ground. It had been salted. He was covered in black tar and soot. His eyes were red and his jaw swollen. He looked at the tents around and heard young babes crying while the dead were buried and wounded treated. He thought about how Dinah had said that this was their fate. 

It wasn’t something they really could have prepared for. 

It was all executed in the same fashion as it had been in the past. 

Though they had a new home, it was still threatened. 

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. 

* 

* 

* 

_I believe with perfect faith that the Creator, blessed be his name, knows every deed of the children of men, and all their thoughts, as it is said, It is he that fashioneth the hearts of them all, that giveth heed to all their deeds._

* 

* 

* 

Alexi changed bandages and heated water to sterilize medical tools. A man named Leander had come saying he was a doctor. He had a kindness about him and a scar around his neck. Alexi asked to borrow his truck and he threw the keys to him without hesitation. 

Alexi nodded and turned to take it and survey the country. 

* 

* 

* 

_I believe with perfect faith that the Creator, blessed be his name, rewards those that keep his commandments, and punishes those that transgress them._

* 

* 

* 

The fire crackled as he watched it engulf the land before him. He saw the houses crumble and the firefighters stumble trying to use tireless firetrucks and limp, dry hoses. 

Alexi opened a flask and drank more than half of the contents. He leaned back next to the old cemetary marker that had been desecrated probably in World War II. He watched as they scrambled around searching for children and family and friends among the chaos that would devastate them. 

He closed his two colored eyes and sighed. 

“I would have done the same.” 

Leah’s voice was always familiar to him. Since he was a child, she had been his guardian. 

“But, then again, I didn’t go without a fight either.” 

He looked up at her, “Why don’t you leave me?” 

She gave a wry smile much like his papa’s, “Because, who's gunna be there when your papa passes over? When your tatti passes, too? I’m here whether you like it or not.” 

She sat down next to him and he looked at her not for the first time. 

He used to think he was insane and this was some sort of hallucination. But, she was more than that. She’d intervened many times in his life before actual harm could happen. She had always spoken to him in Russian and Yiddish and sang him songs. He knew she was real when he asked his papa to sing the moon and fox song. 

Maxim’s hand had stopped stroking his head, “Who told you about that?” 

His papa got upset and now he knows he’d been afraid. He and his tatti talked with loud whisper voices behind their door that night. Not even Ilya had known about that song that Leah would sing to Maxim and his siblings. 

When she took the flask from his hand and put it in his pocket he knew once again that it was time for him to go and cut himself off. He was so much like his tatti and that would probably surprise those who were watching this now. 

Who but Maxim Aristov would burn a village as retribution down? 

While Maxim Aristov wouldn’t be opposed, it’s Ilya Nebetov that would actually carry it through without telling a soul. Maxim needed glory and reputation. Ilya needed to do right by himself and that was all. 

He sat back down in the truck with a thud and tried to concentrate on driving and not wrecking in some Russian farmer’s mud ditch. 

He felt Leah’s hand on his own, “Let me.” 

She smiled and he thought of Dinah. 

_Oh, well…..that’s something…._

He laid against the seat and let her do what she willed. 

_I believe with perfect faith that there will be a resurrection of the dead at the time when it shall please the Creator, blessed be his name, and exalted be the remembrance of him for ever and ever._


	194. j'avais rêvé d'une autre vie

Levi stared at the ceiling before closing his eyes and feeling the way his chest caved in. 

* 

He opened them up hours later to hear them rummaging widley through the trash around the room. Their studio apartment was always running low on space and their bed, that was just a mattress on the floor pressed against a small futon -that nearly touched the kitchen cabinets- was less than ideal in creating the illusion of space. He groaned as he felt the covers lift up off of him. 

“Hanji.” His voice was muffled. 

They kept looking around before he said it louder, “Hanji!” 

“Ohhhhhh did I wake you?” Their voice was hardly apologetic as they turned around and looked at him smiling. He groaned louder and put the pillow over his face. They put more things in their bag and then slammed some stale coke down their throat before jumping up. 

“That’s filthy.” 

“You have no idea when I got that coke.” 

“I know it’s been a while since we got cokes with the summer design on it at the store. You’re fucking filthy.” 

They sat on him and kissed him. 

“I love that you remember things like that.” They kissed him again and more deeply. He thought their breath was stinky but he loved it. When they pulled away he wrinkled his nose, “Brush your fucking teeth!” 

They rolled their eyes, “I will….at work...or just chew gum it’s whatever.” He reached over and grabbed them, “BRUSH THEM OR I’LL KILL YOU!” 

They squirmed away somehow, “Bye Levi! I loooove yoooou!” 

He felt like his chest was exploding. 

They froze, their “oooo” cut off abruptly. 

That was the first time they’d told him they loved him. 

_Fuck._

Levi became beyond awkward, “Milk has blood in it. Did you know that?” 

Why had he just said that? 

What even did that have to do with anything? 

Levi watched as Hanji panicked a little and then, “Yeah, like 40% of it is blood. That’s why we drink almond milk now.” 

He wanted to do or say something but instead, he nodded in a way that made his body convulse oddly. 

Hanji stared, “Did you just have a stroke?” 

“Go the fuck to work. I have to shit and it’s my day off.” 

Hanji left after crawling back over and kissing him more. 

Levi got up, took a shower, and started making a list of things they needed from the store. He would deep clean when he got back. But, first, he needed to take the trash out of the bathroom. It was overflowing with paper towels. 

He bent down and grabbed the handles but a massive pile of towels fell down. He scoffed, “Why the fuck did you use all of these? I just changed this trashcan last week! Who makes this much trash?!” He saw their face flash before his eyes, “Oh, yeah, Hanji does.” 

He picked up the pile and deposited it back in the can. 

However, something caught his eye deep down in the can. 

He grimaced and was thankful he’d put his gloves on before doing this chore. 

His hand grasped the long, thin item after searching for a while. This, as he began to realize, had been hidden and for what reason he didn’t know. 

He looked at it. 

_Oh….shit._

He really looked at it. 

_Oh my…….oh fuck...fuck...._

He felt nauseous. He felt overwhelmed. He thought he might pass out. He thought he might cry or scream or have any reaction that was humanly possible. 

Levi sat down on his butt and looked at the pregnancy test. 

It was positive. 

And it’d been a week already. 

They were pregnant and had known for a week. 

He was strangely empty for a while. 

He wasn’t really all there and then he thought about Erwin and how he’d take the news. He knew he’d react horribly. 

But, honestly, Levi didn’t care. 

Hanji was pregnant. 

He should be worried and focused on them. 

He got up, took the trash out, made a list, and then cleaned a bit. He didn’t want to go to the store high strung. Donner was at the vet having surgery on his leg and he felt like he was already operating on fumes. He didn’t need to go out immediately into the world with people and their judgement just yet. 

He looked at their apartment and started to feel anxiety. 

Hanji didn’t even have a real bed. They slept on one mattress on the floor with a fitted sheet and that had been Levi’s doing. 

He took a deep breath and thought about what he’d learned in Israel while staying with his brother and left. 

* 

* 

* 

Levi had just finished cleaning when they got home. He jumped in the shower and heard them enter after him. Their lips pressed against his back and their arms moved around him to hold him close. He felt their breasts, wet and full, pressed against him and he couldn’t help but melt. 

Hanji was his kryptonite. 

He turned around to take their face in his hands. 

They looked beautiful. 

“You look….so shitty. I’m done.” 

He started to get out of the shower and they laughed, “Thanks. You look shitty, too.” 

He got out, changed into a shirt and briefs, and laid down with a thud. He’d bought a new bed and had gotten rid of the futon. A much smaller couch was now there and they could now use the bottom cabinets that had been blocked. He’d added curtains, too.” 

He wanted them to move to a larger unit in the building and had called their landlord about it already. 

They opened the bathroom door, covered in their towel, and joined him on the bed. 

Their hair was so long and their loose curls just spiraled out around their bosom and arm. They reached out to touch him, “Hey.” 

He was on his back but rolled over onto his side when they spoke, “Hey.” 

They moved closer, “We’re up so high.” 

They smirked and kissed him softly. 

He never really wanted to do anything but touch them and kiss them. It was like, through their touch he could be healed. He found their intoxicating and uplifting in all ways. 

He pulled back, smoothing the hair from the side of their face. Their bangs were cut straight across and thick. He liked them. He liked their hair and how it perfectly reflected all the colors of the rainbow in some way. He swore inside of them lived a rainbow. A sign from God that he would never do to Levi what he’d done to him again. 

“Are you going to tell me why we have new furniture and curtains and why Mitchell called to check when we could move into the new apartment?” 

Levi grimaced and they smiled, “I know. You told him not to tell me but I think he’s worried I’ve destroyed the apartment and wanted to threaten me to have the carpet steam cleaned. Ha! Like it’s not all burnt and destroyed anyway.” 

Levi’s eyes narrowed, “You set it on fire.” 

“I just….had a small mishap.” 

“You did it to test how flammable it was.” 

“Who’s side are you on?!” 

Levi blinked, “My own. As I always am.” 

They kissed him and soon they were lost in their exchange. 

They felt him pull them even closer. His hand gripped their ass and they bit his bottom lip lightly. 

Hanji opened their eyes and saw the curtains. 

They pulled back, “But, really. Why did you buy a bed thingy?” 

He sighed, “We need a bed. You know, a proper bed and not some mattress on the floor.” 

They looked suspicious. 

Their voice was muffled, “I liked my mattress on the floor, you know.” 

He kept playing with their hair and moved over a bit. They noticed there were now two pillows and not just one. They shared a blanket, a pillow, and slept nude normally. He would hold them so close they sometimes had to wake him to let them breathe. 

They loved it. 

He gently moved hair behind their ear, “I saw the pregnancy test.” 

They didn’t react. 

He traced their lips and cheek bone. 

They took his hand, “I’m almost twelve weeks.” 

He looked at their hand on his. 

“Levi, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I wanted to make sure. I went to the doctor today and I was looking for my insurance card this morning.” 

He snorted, “People keep those in their wallets, Hanji.” 

They gave him a coy look, “I keep it in my Levi’s tea box.” 

It was quiet for a moment and then, “Do you want a child, Levi?” 

It was something he’d been thinking the whole day about. He swallowed, “I want whatever you want, Hanji. It’s your body, your life, and your choice. I’m just...I’m not carrying it.” 

They seemed giddy, “I want it.” 

He started to smile. 

It was so rare it hurt his face. 

Hanji knew that Levi wanted children more than anything in the world. 

It’s why they were so excited to be pregnant by him. 

It was the ultimate gift. 

They kissed him. 

He smiled more, “I want it, too. I really, really, really want it. I’m going to just explode from emotion.” His voice was so monotone it made Hanji laugh. The words didn’t match the tone. He continued, “I’m scared shitless but I’m excited.” 

They started to giggle and he pulled them close, moving over them, and then they lost themselves in each other as was usual. 

* 

* 

* 

“Do we need all that?” Levi stood behind them, his arms wrapped around them as they stared at the display case outside of the Babies R Us store at the mall. Hanji pointed to something, “What is that?” 

“A changing table.” 

“And that?” 

“Bottles and sippy cups.” 

“That?” 

“Burping cloths.” 

“That there?” 

“A breast pump.” 

“And that?” 

“A crib. Hanji, what the fuck? You know what a baby is, right?” 

“I know that I don’t think we need a changing table when we have a bed and counters and all sorts of other surfaces.” 

Levi pulled them inside and they looked around at all the things that the store had before agreeing, or simply tired of arguing, that they needed only a crib, some towels, blankets, and bottles in order to have a child. 

But, a crib that rocked was pretty cool. 

And maybe some other stuff. 

Levi looked at Hanji as they pulled their hair back up in a ponytail and fixed their glasses. They often wore their contacts on their days off with him but today they were feeling a little sick and fatigued. “When would you like it delivered?” 

Hanji was about to speak when Levi was filled with fear, “After the birth.” 

Hanji gave him such a look he almost couldn’t believe they were capable of looking at him like that. The salesman nodded, “Jewish?” 

Levi nodded and he wrote information down on a card while Levi handed him his card to pay. Hanji and Levi left quickly and he knew they was holding in until the car. they must really be shocked. 

“What the hell was that?” 

Levi swallowed, “We don’t buy things before the birth of a child. It isn’t good luck. It brings the evil eye. So, everything will come after. I’ll call when you’re on your way to the hospital and then it’ll be there when we get home.” 

“What?! Who doesn’t plan for a baby or talk about it?!” 

“We don’t!” 

Hanji’s eyes went wide and then they dropped it. 

Levi felt like he was choking. 

He felt like he was dying. 

_We_ don’t. 

He realized he was now in a place he never wanted to be. His partner wasn’t Jewish and they didn’t know anything about being Jewish or raising a Jewish child. 

When they got home, it was tense. 

Hanji sat down, “It makes sense. I’m not mad. I guess, I was just shocked or maybe I took it as….I took it a really bad way, you know?” 

He grimaced, “I wasn’t….planning on it. I didn’t know….I didn’t know it was important to me till he asked.” 

They kissed him, ‘I know. You said _WE_ very loudly!” they laughed and he felt better about it. 

After a bit they started cooking and he watched while reading up on pregnancy to refresh himself. They suddenly turned to to him and cleared their throat. 

He looked up at their and braced for whatever they were about to say. 

“So, you want to raise them….Jewishly? I mean, you’re Jewish but you don’t exactly talk about it or...practice.” 

He felt like he was treading thin ice, “Yes.” 

They nodded and turned around. 

But, then they turned back, “Tell me what that means.” 

He swallowed and felt horrible about it. He was aware Hanji had been raised going to church every week and he was going to ask something of his goyische partner that was extremely difficult to ask but there was this fear inside of his soul that he couldn’t name. He couldn’t give it a name or origin. It was there and it ate at him. 

“Well, I’m asking that you….that you never take them into a church or to church with you and never baptise them. I’m...I’m sorry.” 

They seemed to think about it and then, almost strangely, they looked relieved. 

“Okay. I’m cool with that.” 

He clenched his jaw, “How?” 

They just shrugged and he’d come to know that was their telling him to drop it. 

He did but he also wondered why a goy would give up the fight so early. A religious goy was normally crusading for their faith. He laid down and tried to not think of much after that other than the baby. 

* 

* 

* 

He was surprised when Hanji started earmarking pages in a book they kept hidden from him under their side of the bed. They were starting to show and he was ecstatic when people at temple noticed and smiled. They never said anything and Hanji was glad. They didn’t really get the superstition yet and didn’t want to upset Levi. 

They started coming for shabbats and helped out with the Hillel on campus a bit. 

After service, they went to get something to eat at a food cart downtown. He wiped the corner of their mouth with his sleeve and they talked endlessly about their research. It was balmy and they started to get uncomfortable. He picked them up off the curb and they walked towards the car when they heard Mike. 

He was waving and running up to them with Erwin not far behind. 

Erwin looked wounded. 

Levi felt bad about it. 

Mike and Erwin both looked at Hanji and Levi could feel them coming to the same conclusion. Mike had been away and Levi had been avoiding Erwin with much success except for the phone calls. 

He looked ill. 

He looked like he was drinking too much. 

He looked so sad. 

He looked like the man in the cell. 

Levi’s heart was pounding. 

There were people everywhere downtown and music filled the space from the bars and outdoor groups. 

_Listen to the wind blow, watch the sun rise Running in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies_

  
_  
_

And if, you don't love me now

You will never love me again 

I can still hear you saying 

_You would never break the chain_

Mike laughed slightly and talked about the weattheir and work. Hanji acted like nothing was out of the ordinary and Erwin stayed silent. His eyes bore into Levi and made his skin hot. 

He thought about the way Erwin always came to him, on his knees, begging for him to love him. 

Why didn’t Erwin know that he loved him? He had to love him at least a little after what they’d been through! 

But, why couldn’t Erwin understand that every second he looked at him was a second he was back in time reliving all that happened. 

Erwin was something he wished he could leave in the past. 

Erwin was both his sickness and vessel that allowed him to find his remedy. 

He looked at Hanji, “I have to shit.” 

Mike laughed and nodded, “Always charming, Levi.” 

Hanji laughed loudly, “I kinda need to, too! Let’s go! Y’all have fun!” 

They waved and got in the car. 

Levi drove them to their new apartment. It was larger and nicer but still within Hanji’s strict budget. 

Hanji turned to him, “What do you think of rabbit butts?” 

Levi gave their a look that said, “What the fuck?” 

“I ordered these bunny pictures for the nursery. I want you to see them!” 

He nodded, “Oh, so that’s the theme? Hasen?(Hares)” 

They smiled, “It’s pretty gender neutral and cute.” 

He looked at them, “Names?” 

They smirked, “Better ones than Hanji, please.” 

He started to laugh and they enjoyed the sound desperately. His laugh was amazing. 

When they got into the apartment they grabbed the book, “Here’s a few.” 

He grabbed the book from them and smirked, “Hebrew baby names….Hanji….” 

They kissed him and moved into his lap before taking the book and opening it, “I like that some names can be both boy and girl. We could pick one and they could decide later you know?” 

Levi laid back with their in his arms, “Like Lior can be Liora.” 

They kissed his jaw, “Yeah. Damn, you smell so good.” 

He smirked, “Pheromones.” 

They moaned, “God, give me more. Let me smell your armpit.” 

Levi let them and then flipped their positions, “So, what names are you looking at?” 

Hanji moved their hands under his shirt, “Hadassah, Lev, Lior, Shimon, and like, seventy others.” 

* 

* 

* 

Hanji thought about how much they loved Levi. They honestly thought he was the end all, be all. He kept the house clean, provided for them, and basically was the perfect housewife and husband in one. He never asked them to do more than they were capable and respected their academic aspirations. 

Working with Levi was like working with raw inspiration. 

They closed their eyes and rubbed their stomach soothingly. 

They came home and he was standing there with a letter. 

“Hey, shitty eyes,” his voice was low and deep in his chest, “mail came. I had to sign for it. I didn’t want to….you know…” 

They knew he hated getting involved. 

It was a letter from Lithuania. 

They wanted to vomit. 

Since they had moved into a larger apartment, they’d been able to hide their things in the closet of the new master bedroom. The other room, which Mike called Levi’s room when Erwin was around at school, was going to be the nursery. In that room, Levi must keep his secret letters and whatever Jewish stuff Jews had. 

Hanji wondered why he never spoke about it. He never mentioned his Jewishness and those two conversations where he said “we” and then asked them not to baptise their child was the only clue they had about his religious identity. Sure they went to temple, but it wasn’t exactly something he let loose in either. They just kind of accepted him for who he was and even a few made comments that they’d heard of him from relatives in Israel. There was something about a kibbutz and a man named David. Hanji wished she could solve the mystery that was Levi. 

The letter was like all the others. 

_You must return to us immediately. We are suffering an affliction that is purely because of your open efface to the will of God. HIS will is not to be impeded or superceded. You must repent and give your life over to HIM. It is the WILL and the WAY._

Hanji put the letter in the box that held them all from over the years. They could never throw any of them away for some reason. It was the only tie they had to what had happened. 

_Pia_

Hanji burst into tears. They were sixteen weeks pregnant and emotional. They wanted ice cream, pickles, and to just hold onto Levi while Donner slept at their feet. 

Hanji heard Levi come inside, “Baby, stop.” 

Levi’s arms wrapped around them and pushed them down on the bed. He moved his nose into the crook of their neck and sighed. Hanji was still crying and Levi just wanted to stop them. 

“What do you need, baby?” 

Hanji wiped their nose on their arm, “I don’t know.” 

“Maybe some pancakes?” 

Hanji kept crying. 

Levi sighed, “With ice cream and pickles?” 

They nodded, “Yeaaah.” 

Levi kissed their skin, ‘Can I eat something, too?” 

Hanji was a little confused, “Yeah, sure. What?” 

Levi looked up at them, “You.” 

Hanji smiled, “I’m glad I’m not too fat.” 

Levi scowled, ‘Shut up. That’s not possible and who gives a fuck about being fat. Plus, you taste so much better now pregnant.” 

He sat back up and smirked, “I think I’d like to keep you tasting like this for a long time to come.” 

His voice was like a pur and Hanji started to feel better, “Okay, first you eat and then you can feed me.” 

Levi smirked more, licking his lips in anticipation, “You got it.” 

* 

* 

* 

Levi kissed their stomach over and over again as they laid in bed. He rubbed it, spoke to it, sang to it, and more. Hanji loved every second with him. They’d been working more and more from home and avoiding going out into the world. He held them closer and then, “Have you...told people you’re pregnant?” 

Hanji shook their head, “No, I thought that was against the rules.” 

Levi tched, “Well, yeah….but, I don’t want you to do stuff you’re not comfortable with.” 

Hanji stood up to start dinner, “Levi, I’m good. I’m kind of liking it like this. I like that we’re getting to absorb it all together and well, Mike might make me start running or something. I don’t want him anymore on my case than he is. I still run but he’d maybe go the opposite way and then make me stop and do like...power walking.” 

Levi had a blank face, “You just don’t want to be nagged.” 

Hanji smiled, “Yep!” 

They kept cooking and when it was time to eat, Levi asked a burning question, “What’s our final name choices?” 

Hanji was bubbling with excitement, “Weeeeeeell, let’s start with boys!” 

Levi opened his beer and took a drink before Hanji smiled and gave him a look to go on. 

Levi looked at Hanji and felt his heart thump in his chest. 

Hanji touched their stomach and he felt lost in his love for them both, “We each get one, right?” 

Hanji nodded and he smiled faintly. 

‘Hanji, I like….Elijah.” 

They thought about the name and smiled, “It’s really nice. I like Alexander or Asher.” 

He raised an eyebrow, “That’s two.” 

They gave him a warning look, “And my uterus is the one expanding and making room for growing limbs.” 

He nodded, ‘True. Is this how it’s always going to be? You’ll always trump me now?” 

Hanji smirked, “I didn’t say that but you know, it doesn’t sound so bad when you do.” 

Levi rolled his eyes, “Yeah, wow. Soon, we’ll be living in filth and all our money will go towards you funding your own research. I’ll have to start a gang back up-” 

He stopped abruptly and felt immediately upset that he’d slipped. 

They noticed, “Wait, what?” 

Levi just stared. Inside, he was panicking. Donner whined and pressed against him. Hanji backed off, “Are you going to start a gang?” 

Levi kept his face emotionless and his tone flat, “I don’t know. I suppose I’ll have to do illegal things to keep our child fed and in clothes. You’ll be buying bodies on the black market.” 

Hanji smiled, ‘MMMM and your contacts in the underworld will make that possible. Good thinking. So supportive of you.” 

Levi wanted away from this, “And the girl names?” 

There was a small pause. Hanji saw something shift in Levi that made them almost ache want to know more about him. He seemed to absolutely crack around the seams. His first word started with an M but he closed his mouth immediately. 

Hanji gave him time. 

It seemed the name he wanted to say was processed and then put deep inside. They wanted to ask so badly about it but then he turned his face upwards and smiled, “Avigail.” 

Hanji blinked, “What’s that mean?” 

“Father’s joy.” 

Hanji felt their heart soar. It was finally real to them that they were actually pregnant and going to give Levi a child. They were going to have a child. They were both going to share a child together and love it and love each other. 

“I like that.” Hanji started to cry and Levi frowned, “Then why are you crying.” 

Hanji covered their face, “Because….” 

Levi was getting worried, ‘Because of what?” 

“BECAUSE MY NAME DOESN’T MEAN THAT AND I REALLY LIKE MINE!” 

Levi loved them. 

“Then tell me!” 

“HADAR!” 

Levi was surprised it was a Jewish name. 

“You chose Hadar? Why Han?” 

Hanji was so upset that they retired to the new living room and he wrapped them in soft blankets. Hanji felt like a roller coaster. Maybe it was because Pia’s birthday was coming up. They always got upset for no reason around this time to only realize it was repressed memories. 

“I love the name Hadar. It means glory.” 

Hanji looked at Levi seriously, “I want that to be the name. I want that to be our baby’s name.” 

They watched as the man before them turned into a mess. There was nothing that could have prepared them for the utter brokenness. Levi was cracking. He took their hands and kissed them. 

Levi started to cry, “Then it is.” 

* 

* 

* 

“And when you were in New York, what was that like?” 

Levi and Hanji were still locked in the apartment after the box came with the large iron cross in it. Now, all of the secrets were coming out and Hanji was falling more and more into Levi while he drowned in her. 

“I got there, walked into Kenny’s apartment, and just...fell down.” 

“You fell down?” 

“On my knees.” 

“I’m sorry, Levi.” 

“I don’t know what to do. I’ve been in that place where I’ve felt like I was….losing my religion. Now, I felt like I’d started to come back to just a blank space. I wasn’t religious or unreligious. I don’t know. Now, I’m so excited about this child and so scared that I’m going to fuck it all up and fuck you up.” 

Hanji kissed him, ‘I’m already fucked up and I love you.” 

Hanji and Levi spoke over the next days about all of their secrets and grew to know each other like none other. 

They planned on keeping as much from their child as possible and came up with what they would mutually tell it. 

Levi’s body was a work of art and Hanji admired it fully as they lay together on the bed. 

He kissed their stomach, “Don’t tell anyone the name. We’ll have a naming ceremony.” 

Hanji actually liked that, “Cool. So, we’re in agreement about this.” 

Levi gave them a curious look, “What?” 

Hanji smiled, “We’re just going to keep pretending I’m not pregnant, not talking about it, and then at the end just have the baby and be like “wut? Didn’t you know?”” 

Levi was uncomfortable, “I just want to ensure everything goes perfectly.” 

Hanji watched as he looked back at thier stomach, “Don’t tell Mike. He’ll tell Erwin. I don’t want Erwin to…” 

“It’ll be fine.” 

Levi’s words were cold, ‘He’ll hurt you.” 

Hanji was caught off guard, ‘I’ve known him for years.” 

There was a waver in their voice. Levi knew they knew he was serious. Levi swallowed, ‘Erwin isn’t who you think he is, Hanji. He’s just not.” 

* 

* 

* 

There were so many missed calls on his phone from Erwin that it made his back hot. He could feel him. He could sense him. His anger was bubbling forth and he worried something would happen involving Hanji. Erwin was always there whether he wanted him to be or not. He wanted to just be….what did he want? 

Oh yeah. 

To be free. 

Levi was so tired of working night shift at the lab. 

It was his punishment. Erwin knew he was avoiding him so he got Hanji put on day shift and gave Levi night. 

He was cruel. 

But so was Levi. 

There was guilt over the baby but he couldn’t talk about it. He couldn’t risk the evil eye. He needed this to have a normal life. He had to have a child before he died and the time was now. 

Hanji was the best thing that had ever happened to him. 

So, he’d just get off this damn shift and go the fuck home to his….his… 

What would Hanji be? 

His wife? Husband? 

Does it work like that? 

He was just confused sometimes. He’d lived such a controlled life and then was thrown into the seedy and wrong. He was blunt because it was the only way to survive. But, sometimes Hanji’s fluidity in all things and their non-specific and non-conforming life was just awe-inspiring to him. 

His partner? 

It just didn’t sound that good. 

They were already his partner. 

He wanted something more official. 

Levi had always dreamed a great dream. 

A simple life with a home, a wife, and a daughter. 

HaShem, he wanted a little girl to love and watch grow. 

He wanted a strong soul to blossom forth and him be privy to it. He wondered what she’d look like and if she’d have Hanji’s hair or her eyes. He wanted her to have her eyes especially. 

He always dreamed of food on the table, science, and music. Sometimes, it was abstract but mostly, it was a perfect day. 

He wanted his little girl to lay on his chest while he read the newspaper in the morning before work. Hanji would have made breakfast and his tea would be hot. Hanji’s text updates for research would buzz on the table until he left to take their daughter to the school daycare. 

He’d kiss her cheeks and hug her. He’d tell her she could be and do anything. He’d leave and she’d wave. 

At work he’d kiss on Hanji as they made strides and failed. 

They’d leave together and pick their daughter up and cook dinner together as a family. Their girl would play piano and tell them what her day was like. 

They’d put her to bed and then after she was asleep he’d kiss her mother breathless before making love to her while the mess of the day was strewn around them. After Hanji fell asleep, he’d get up and clean by himself. This would be his time to unpack and give thanks to HaShem. 

This was his dream. 

This was the dream he allowed himself to dream after escaping that prison and taking life back into his own hands. 

He needed to see Hanji and continue to move towards the dream. 

When he got home, they were in bed with their hair around them. They’d cleaned and it smelled perfect. He admired their naked body and thought about how it had been just a week ago. 

_“This is where my father died on top of me. Right there. And the house we were in was where my mother lowered me into the floor and shot herself at the door for them to see so they'd open the house.”_

_“Come on, baby. Let’s go. I’ll call a cab.”_

_“No need. It’s a tourist attraction so there are cars over there.”_

_“The source of all your pain is a fucking tourist attraction.”_

_“Pretty much.”_

He crawled over to them in the bed and softly began kissing them and touching their sensitive spots he’d found over these months. Donner appeared, whining softly. He wondered if he was hungry but he noticed food in the bowl. Hanji’s breathing became labored the more he kissed their shoulders and neck. He removed his clothes and kissed them more tenderly. 

Hanji’s exhale was sudden as they turned around in his arms, ‘Levi?” They smirked around his name and he kissed them deeply. He loved them so much. 

His hands rubbed their stomach as they molded into him. 

They pulled back after a while, “I’m not really up to sex. I’m having some discomfort.” 

He kissed their collar bone. His voice was soft, “That’s okay.” He moved down to kiss their stomach as he often did now that they were showing a little more. Hanji knew Levi was more excited than he let on. He spent every night kissing and talking to their baby. 

They called it Hadar. 

It was the name they’d decided on. 

Elijah would be the back up name just in case but regardless, Hadar was perfect for them. 

He laid his head on their stomach and sighed in happiness, “What kind of discomfort?” 

Hanji felt a little shy, “Like….gas.” 

Levi chuckled, “Are you afraid you’ll fart in sex because I’m fine with shit like that. You can sit on my face. You can fart on my face. Regardless, I’ll love it.” 

Hanji started to laugh with him and then agreed. Levi kissed back up their body and they picked up where they left off. 

* 

* 

* 

The next morning, Donner was beyond off. He whimpered, whined, and barked at Levi when he moved towards Hanji too quick. He was agitated and Hanji seemed concerned. 

“Are you going to have an attack?” 

Levi shook his head no, “He isn’t concerned with me it seems.” 

Hanji thought about it, “Well, he knows I’m pregnant.” 

Levi nodded, “He does. That’s probably what’s going on.” 

Hanji gave Levi a look, “You know…….I’d like to try what we tried out last night again.” 

Levi raised an eyebrow, “You would?” 

Hanji nodded, “I think I can do better.” 

Levi whistled, “Hot damn.” 

Hanji and Levi had sex and then showered. He knew they were tried so he said he’d do the shopping. He went to get groceries and run errands. While he was in one of the stores, he saw a dress. A little newborn’s coming home from the hospital dress. 

It was so adorable it made him weak. 

He got it and felt immense guilt over it. 

He knew it wasn’t proper for him to buy things for the baby yet. 

Mike was coming out of the greenhouses when he stopped by the Mertle Cafe to get honey. He smiled, “Hey, Lee.” 

Levi paused and Mike grimaced internally. He really shouldn’t use a nickname with Levi. They don’t know each other like that. 

“So, is Hanji okay?” 

Levi’s brow creased, “What do you mean?” 

Mike shrugged, “Hanji’s just been a little off. They’re wearing baggy clothes and not really acting as crazy lately. The trail they run has changed and….well….I’ve seen them eat salads.” 

Levi snorted, “Shitty glasses has actually been eating salads?” 

Mike smiled, “Salads, drinking water, and you know….they’ve cut back on dairy and fish. I’ve been wanting to tell you how much I appreciate it it if this is because of you. I’ve wanted them to take their health more seriously for a long time. I’m glad their doing this and I’m glad they are happy with you.” 

Levi felt uncomfortable and swallowed. 

Mike kept smiling, “Thanks, man.” 

“Yeah, you too.” 

Levi blinked. 

_Shit, why did I say that?_

Mike laughed, “Man, give me a hug.” He hugged Levi and lifted him off the ground while Levi’s expression was dead and annoyed. 

He let him down and gave him another jar of honey. Erwin appeared from another car that pulled up. Levi was freaking out trying to think of a way out. He really couldn’t think of anything as Erwin got out and walked up, “Hello.” 

He smiled brightly. His shirt was sky blue and tightly tailored to his perfect physique. The top two buttons were undone and his pants were ironed and chocolate brown. He hand a new watch on and his leather shoes shined in the sunlight. 

All Levi wanted was to leave. 

He also wanted, strangely, to reach out and touch Erwin to make sure this was real. He wanted to know that Erwin was real and he was alive. Erwin was alive. 

Erwin was home. 

Erwin was alive and home. 

So, why wasn’t he okay? 

“Levi? You wanna hold my hand?” 

Erwin’s smile was dashing and curled around his words, “You can hold more than that.” His smirk was legendary and Levi could hear a plant being dropped by a nearby girl. He looked down to see his hand gripping Erwin’s wrist. 

He dropped it immediately. 

Erwin looked a little hurt but recovered, “I need to speak with you about something really important. It involves our settlement with the courts. I need to speak with you, Lee. Really, I do.” 

Levi swallowed, his throat extremely dry. 

He nodded and took his honey to his car. 

Levi got inside and started to feel the tears come to his eyes. 

Donner was at home with Hanji. He’d refused to leave and it didn’t really bother him. It was a good thing to have Donner around Hanji when they were so vulnerable. Maybe he was picking up some things about their emotions? 

Levi’s entire body seized up. 

He drove home as fast as he could. 

Hanji was laying on the couch, uncomfortable and hot. Donner laid at their side on the floor. He jumped up and began growling when they door suddenly slammed open. Levi’s face was white, ‘Hanji?” 

Hanji blinked, “Yeah? What’s up Coco Puff?” 

Levi seemed very uneasy, ‘How are you?” 

Hanji shrugged, “Gas. I called the doctor and they said it was normal. I was scared since I got knocked around in Lithuania but she doesn’t think it’s related at all. I’m just… I don’t know. I feel Hadar move a lot throughout the day but the gas is making me not appreciate it all that much. They finally calmed down and hasn’t been pushing on me too much. 

Hanji smiled brightly, “I was looking up baby naming ceremonies because of what someone at the temple said.” 

He started to carefully unpack their things, “Yeah?” 

“Yeah, so you want one?” 

Levi sighed, “Yeah.” 

He was thinking and thinking but not about anything like that. 

His hand fell on the honey. 

Erwin’s smile came back to the front of his mind. 

_“I need to talk to you.”_

Hanji kept talking and talking but all Levi could think about was that honey and the way the corners of Erwin’s eyes had lifted when he touched him. 

“Levi? Levi?!” 

Levi turned around, “Yeah?” 

Hanji looked concerned, “Are you okay? You’re really distracted. I can make dinner.” 

They tried to sit up but their discomfort grew and Levi watched them fall back down. Levi snorted, “Tch, Han, I’ll make dinner.” He started making things and then turned around, “Yo, shitty glasses, tell me about these salads you’ve been eating.” 

Hanji put a pillow over their face, “Oh God.” 

* 

* 

* 

Hanji took a long, cold shower. Levi read on the toilet while he took a shit. They had gone quiet. Almost mute if he was comparing it to their usual self. He noticed how Donner growled and stayed against the shower door. Levi was on high alert. 

When Hanji got out he asked how they were doing. 

Hanji shrugged, “Just kind of...I don’t know. I feel like shit. I know they said it’s normal but it’s not been this shitty till now.” 

Levi frowned, “I can rub your back?” 

Hanji frowned, “I don’t want to be touched at all right now. I’m sorry. I just….I feel fat and icky and ugly.” 

Levi blinked, “But I….don’t know how we’re going to sleep.” 

Hanji snorted, “You mean how _you’re_ going to sleep.” 

Levi shrugged, “Tomato, tomato.” 

Hanji looked very tired and pale. He worried a lot about it, “Hanj, go lay down.” 

He made an ice pack and pulled out some frozen grapes from the fridge. Hanji laid on their side and kept a hand on their stomach. He gave them space and kept reading. Donner jumped up on the bed and laid next to Hanji. Levi started to pet him, “I’m starting to get jealous, buddy.” 

Hanji was starting to go to sleep and Levi shooed Donner to the floor in order to join them. 

* 

* 

* 

Hanji sat up in the bed in a cold sweat. Donner was growling low and then they threw up. Something was wrong, seriously wrong. The pain started to taking their breath away along with ability to see. 

They reached over and Donner started to bark. Their hand gripped Levi, “Levi!” 

They nearly passed out from the pain. 

Their other hand moved around their stomach. 

Levi was up and Donner was now loudly barking. 

He tried to pull Hanji off the bed. 

Levi was up and grabbed them, “What’s wrong?!” 

He sounded so pitiful it almost made them want to lie and say it was fine. A crippling, electric pain seized them and made them call out. Hanji was brought to the floor as Levi called the hospital and got them in his arms. He carried them out to the car and donner followed barking and growling. 

Hanji was nearly passed out when he slapped them, “DON’T DO THIS TO ME!” 

Hanji was crying, “Just get me to the hospital. It’ll be fine. It’ll be fine!” 

Levi wanted to scream. Hanji was trying to save _him!_

He pulled up to the ER and carried them inside. 

They took them back, placing them on a bed and then pushing him away. 

He wasn’t their husband. He would have to wait in the lobby with the dog. 

Levi was losing his grip on things. Hanji and the baby were in danger and he’d missed the signs. He’d not picked up on it. He should have known that they had a fever or insisted on going to the doctors! 

How had he missed the signs? 

How had he’d been so careless. 

_Honey_

He sat down, dying inside and the reality of the situation set in. 

He wanted someone to help him. 

He wanted to help Hanji more. 

Donner was shaking next to him and Levi felt the familiar panic overtake him. He had to stave it off and remain here for them. He closed his eyes and time passed. 

A doctor called him back. He was visibly concerned with Levi’s appearance. 

He made things quick, “Dr. Ackermann, Dr. Zoe has listed you as her common-law partner and the father of the child. I’m sorry to say, but there has been a complication with the pregnancy. The placenta dislodged due to a botched surgery. We believe it was an abortion.” 

Levi’s blood pressure sank and he felt like he might pass out. 

The doctor was serious but compassionate, “I know this is hard, but you need to make the choice. Dr. Zoe is in surgery. It’s her or the baby.” 

Levi’s world came to a very sudden and abrupt stop. 

* 

* 

* 

He didn’t know what to say to them when they woke up but they didn’t ask any questions. The doctors explained that it was a miscarriage caused by the placenta dislodging. It had attached in a spot that was covered in scar tissue. The abortion they’d had when they were eighteen had been performed by a witchdoctor of sorts. 

Levi hadn’t known. 

He would have maybe insisted on more doctor check ups. 

Hanji said they always felt their baby move but the day of, the movement had been less and less. In fact, they showered right after they realized they hadn’t felt Hadar move for a long time. 

Levi took it all in. 

The doctor said that while they were inside, they cleared up the issue with the scar tissue. Hanji was told they’d be able to conceive again but that they should watch for early labors in their coming pregnancies. 

The doctor wished them a speedy recovery and luck conceiving another time. 

Levi took Hanji back to the apartment and eased them into bed. 

He wondered what he was going to do or say to them. 

They fell asleep quickly, Donner by their side. 

He made some cold deli sandwiches and cut up fruit. 

There was just an overwhelming sadness that gripped him inside of his chest before crushing him. He felt Donner near him and went into the room that would have been the nursery. 

* 

Hanji found him in the room a few hours later. They sat down next to him and saw what he was holding. 

It was a beautiful pink. Flowy dress for a newborn. 

Hanji reached over and Levi’s tears fell evenly down his face, “I did this.” 

Hanji pressed their face into the side of his shoulder. Their voice was soothing, ‘No, no, no, nooooo. Levi, no. It is...what it is. I’m sorry you had to go through it. I’m sorry.” 

Levi turned to them, “Oh God, Hanji. I did this.” 

Hanji took his face in their hands and kissed him. They pulled back and smiled sadly, “No, you didn’t. Levi, can I tell you something?” 

He kept staring at them like they had all the answers in the world. 

“Levi, no matter how much you try, you can’t stop things from happening. It doesn’t matter if you never say the name or never buy things till afterward the birth. It doesn’t change anything. This isn’t your fault. You haven’t done anything wrong and I love you so much. I love you so very, very much.” 

Hanji kissed him and he felt like their daughter had missed out on the best mother in the world. 

* 

* 

* 

_Thud, thud, thud, thud_

Erwin had asked him to come over and talk. He admitted following him to Lithuania. 

_Thud, thud, thud, thud_

He admitted to it all. 

_Thud, thud, thud, thud_

Levi had never been so angry at him and that saying something. It was a damn challenge that Erwin always set before himself to piss him the fuck off. 

_Thud, thud, thud, thud_

He’d asked him to marry him. 

_Thud, thud, thud, thud_

_Fuck_

_Thud, thud, thud, thud_

Levi was smoking while running on the treadmill. He didn’t give a fuck what that looked like. 

_Thud, thud, thud, thud_

He didn’t give a fuck what anyone thought. 

_Thud, thud, thud, thud_

He wondered if he’d missed out on his chance to be normal. 

_Thud, thud, thud, thud_

He wanted to marry Hanji. 

_Thud, thud, thud, thud_

He wanted a child with Hanji. 

_Thud, thud, thud, thud_

But, he also wanted those things with Erwin. 

_Thud, thud, thud, thud_

_Thud, thud, thud, thud_

_Thud, thud, thud, thud_

_SCREECH_

Levi pulled the red cord to cut off the machine. He stood there, arms up on the top nad legs spread with feet on the sides. 

He looked down at the black, textured belt that was hot from his sprinting. 

The ash from the tip of his thirteenth cigaret fell. 

He was so angry. 

_Fuck, I guess I feel for another loser._

He got his towel and left. 

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!_

The cold shower didn’t help. 

The only thing that could help was Hanji. 

It didn’t matter if he also might want those things with Erwin. He knew for sure he wanted Hanji and wanted to have them with them. 

He drove home and expected them to be relaxing. Instead, Mike was over and Hanji was pretending to have a cold. Levi’s protective nature kicked in, “Oy, Mike, I need to talk to Hanji alone. I need you to leave.” 

Mike was genuinely hurt, “Oh. Um, okay. I mean, I could just step out. I wanted Hanji to have some soup my parents made,” 

Hanji gave Mike a sad look, “Sorry, Mike. Levi’s right, though. It’s pretty serious and this is just bad timing. Nothing against you.” 

Mike was hurt being left out of Hanji’s personal life. He’d at least hoped that they’d remain close friends. He tried not to let his jealousy take over and lash out at Levi. 

He noted Levi seemed to be the most emotional he’d ever seen. In fact, the whole apartment and their relationship in this moment was so close and so private he felt like such an intruder. Levi’s room was brighter and there were kid-like things in it. He didn’t understand what was going on, only that something was and he was clearly not a part of it. 

When he left, Levi broke down fully and so did Hanji. 

They missed their baby. 

* 

* 

* 

Levi wrapped himself in their blanket. Hanji moved their hands through his hair, “I want you.” 

Levi smirked, “I know you do.” 

Hanji laughed shortly, “I want you and I love you.” 

He kissed them, “I love you.” 

Hanji pulled his bottom lip down with their thumb, “I know it’s only been a month but would you like to get pregnant on purpose one day?” 

His stomach was in knots, “Mm I’m uncomfortable.” 

Hanji nodded, “I know. That’s pretty much your default.” 

“I’d like to. I just...I’m scared. I can’t lose you. I can’t lose another child.” 

Hanji kissed him, “Me either. I don’t know. Just think about it. Someone needs to stand for you.” 

Levi loved Hanji for everything they said, meant, and intended. 

* 

* 

* 

Erwin stopped by on his way to work while Hanji was getting ready to go to the lab. Levi had quit and was working at the hospital to make their lives a little more comfortable. Hadar was still all they thought about and Levi really started to feel how badly he wanted to have a child of his own and a family of his own. 

Hanji gave Erwin a hug and told him to stay as long as he wanted. Surprisingly, he said he didn’t want to intrude. Levi grabbed Donner’s leash, “I’ve got to take him on a walk. You can join.” 

Erwin looked overjoyed. 

Levi shut the door and locked it. When they got to the curb, Hanji kissed him and told him to have a good night. Erwin looked pained but he didn’t say anything. Levi was pleasantly surprised. 

They started walking through the park. Erwin was popular and lot of people stopped them to speak to them. Donner enjoyed seeing Erwin and there was a general ease about them together. There was also an underlying sexual tension that Levi wished would go away but slightly missed. 

Erwin clearly was soaking up as much as he could and Levi felt himself for once having the upper hand. It was actually clear that Levi could get anything he wanted if he just asked. That really bothered him. 

“Lee, what do you think of the labs?” 

Levi was wiping Donner’s face off, “I think they’re shitty.” 

Erwin smiled a little, “Yeah, I thought so. I want to have them re-done. Would you care to put in some details or anything else that could help the engineers and designers?” 

Levi nodded and they kept walking into the town. It was abuzz with students and the smells from the bars drifted between them as they walked further. Erwin got them a few sandwiches and then some drinks. They stayed out late and parted a little reluctantly. 

Erwin was charming, sweet, kind, and warm. He gave Levi space and he seemed to really focus on his mind and how he was. There was definitely the trademark “Erwining” of the situation and he was data mining the entire time but at least he had the decency to hide it under pretense. 

If Levi was being honest, that’s what he wanted from Erwin. Hanji was so wide open and he had expectations of them. Erwin had always pushed those with him but this night had been refreshing. 

When Erwin and Levi made it back to the apartment there was a moment where Levi fumbled with his keys. Erwin took that as a good sign and nervously asked, “Could we do this again? Maybe next week when Hanji has to work again? I’m normally free.” 

Levi looked up at him, momentarily forgetting his keys, “Yeah, most people are at night.” 

Erwin smiled somewhat shyly, ‘Yeah.” 

Levi realized he was supposed to answer the question, “Sure. Next week if Hanji has to work. I guess you could stop by.” 

He turned around and found the key. Donner looked up at him and when he turned around Erwin was waiting patiently. 

Levi blushed, “Why are you still here?” 

Erwin looked a little shocked, “I’m just making sure you get inside okay. I can leave?” 

Erwin was honestly making sure Levi made it inside. Levi realized this and felt even more awkward. He dropped his keys and Erwin reached to get them. 

There was a moment when they both locked eyes and were close enough to each other to smell the alcohol on their breaths. Neither was drunk. It made it all more real knowing this was a true moment between them. 

Erwin wanted so badly to kiss him. 

Levi expected him to and wasn’t that opposed to it. 

But, Levi had to cough. 

It was a hacking cough and ruined whatever moment was happening between them. He turned to enter the complex without even saying goodbye to Erwin. 

* 

* 

* 

It was about three days afterwards when Levi realized they’d basically been on a date. The next few weeks Erwin managed to avoid him and show up on only one day when Hanji would be working for sure. Levi appreciated that he didn’t start making Hanji work more and more to improve his chances of catching Levi. 

Mike kept coming by unannounced and it was pissing Hanji off. He’d come home to them in a horrible mood after missing Mike in the hallway by a few seconds. In Mike’s defense, Levi often ducked into places to avoid people and human interaction. 

Their apartment was cool and dinner was ready to eat. The rabbits were rustling in their cages with fresh lettuce. He found them in the nursery. 

“Shitty glasses….what’s wrong?” 

Hanji was pissed, “Mike came over and let himself in. He didn’t need to but he did and then he came in here and wanted to know why you had all these little outfits. I didn’t store them properly because, well, I hoped we’d have another happy accident or I don’t know….it’s not his business.” 

They mumbled the last part as Levi sat down. 

He took the little onesie and sighed, “I miss our baby.” 

Hanji took his hand, “I do, too.” 

* 

* 

* 

Hanji pressed against him, their lips moved over his neck. He knew they wanted to try again. He didn’t mind. But, he was wondering if it was really the right thing to do. 

When they got up to clean up, he heard them answer the phone. Mike was talking loudly and then Erwin texted him. 

He wanted to know if Hanji was out for the night. 

Levi was feeling more and more guilt over it. 

He was basically going on small dates with Erwin Smith and Mike was in pain daily over his pinning

He texted Erwin that they had to stop seeing each other like they were. It wasn't right and he wasn't going to be with him. 

Because, he was happy. 

Hanji was happy. 

This was where he wanted to be and they were who he wanted to be with. 

Hanji took his breath away. 

Hanji returned to him and kissed him, mumbling, “I’m trying to make a family and he wants me to go to the rodeo.” 

They climbed in his lap as they kissed him more and more passionately. 

Levi fell back on the bed and smiled against their lips. 

Hanji’s voice was small and cute, “I love you, shortie.” 

_Hadar means glory._

He looked at the glory that was Hanji, “I love you, too.” 

* 

* 

* 

Levi opened his eyes. 

Eren was carrying Ilan in his arms while he pulled something out of the side table’s top drawer. 

Eren’s face was soft but there was a tightness in his neck that Levi knew meant he was contemplative. 

It hit him like a wave. 

He realized this was his life. 

He remembered everything but selfishly tried to hold on the life that could have been. 

There was such an ache that set in. 

His chest felt crushed. 

He couldn’t believe it had all been a dream. 

But, it hadn’t been one. 

Not really. 

They’d agreed to never tell anyone about Hadar. 

They’d agreed that things they had loved, they were allowed to keep. 

But who was he now to keep? 

_Hanji, you were always a part of my dream._


	195. Shiva

Gisela stood up from her seat in the hospital before walking calmly down the hallway towards Oskar’s office and Hanji’s labs. She felt sick from the pregnancy and she also felt sick from dread. Nikko was still in limbo. 

Judah didn’t want her to go and get upset. He’d hidden it from her that he had cameras installed to see Nikko whenever he wanted. They were all tip-toeing around while Ilya grew more and more persistent about burying Hanji. 

It nearly made Gisela faint. 

She wondered where vati was and wished desperately he’d come home. 

Oskar came out of his office and shook his head. She came to a skidding stop in the hallway. He came towards her, “Not today.” Gisela was shaking. 

“Yes, I want to see my brother.” 

Oskar sighed, “Not today.” 

Gisela felt tears spring to her eyes, “Oksar.” 

He looked around before whispering, “It’s just not a good day, Gisela. Please, trust me.” 

She felt the world closing in. Her head hurt like someone was stabbing her. Her chest was suddenly tightening. Her back was hot, chest flushed red, cheeks warm, and her entire body shook. He knew she was riddled with anxiety and verging on a panic attack. 

“Okay, just for a few seconds. Erwin’s here and you should see him.” 

She let him take her arm and pull her towards Nikko’s room. 

Once inside of the lab, she felt her breath be stolen away. 

Her brother was like snow white. 

Inside of his glass coffin, he laid in suspended animation. 

* 

* 

* 

Erwin had seen Yoni and Tuvia since he came to the hospital but not Zev. He was surprised to see him. Zev never took his father being hurt or ill well. He definitely couldn’t stand sickness and Erwin blamed himself for instilling that in his son. 

“Daddy? Am I interrupting something?” 

Erwin smirked, “Yeah, a rave.” 

Zev laughed, “It’s poppin’ in here with your backless dress and pink grippy socks!” 

Erwin laughed and spoke with his son further. Zev eventually fell into silence and Erwin knew he was about to blurt something serious out. It was Zev’s way, honestly. 

“Vati is most likely alive. I called and that’s what my information says. Until he gets back and...and….well, everything else maybe gets kind of okay.” He started to cry and Erwin got out of the bed to hold his son as best as he could. 

Eventually, Erwin sat back down and Zev composed himself. 

“You’re going to come stay with us till you’re better.” 

Erwin gave him a stern look, “Son, this isn't the first time I’ve lost an arm. This one’s just permanent.” 

Zev nodded, “You’re coming home with me because it’ll make me feel better. It’s all about me, daddy. Duh. I’m selfish, remember?” 

Erwin snorted, “I’m not coming to your home. I’m not dead yet and I’m not in my 90s.” 

Zev got miffed, “Aviva and I want you with us. Aviva would come but she’s emotional and a hospital isn’t the best place for a pregnant woman. She could get sick.” 

He wasn’t going to tell anyone about Gisela’s pregnancy since she’d demanded he keep it to himself. She was worried it would bring negative attention to her and that opinions would be given about her wanting to keep fighting while pregnant. 

He wanted his dad home and he wanted him to be healthy and safe. Whatever was going on with aba was extremely upsetting to everyone and baba was barely holding it all together. Mila was sedated and staying with baba and aba while Nikko was fighting for his life and her mother was not alive to assist with anything. 

“Where is Mila?” 

Erwin asked the question quietly. 

Zev swallowed, “Staying with baba. Lylah is with Mikasa and David is coming home today. Tuvia is staying with Bianca at her apartment. Jean and Marco are thinking of heading to Valeria.” 

Erwin cut him off, “Valeria?” 

Zev smiled, ‘Yeah, they did it.” 

He couldn’t believe it had worked, “Are you telling me that the tribes have legal borders now? Are they basically kibbutzing it up?” 

Zev nodded and gave him the story Bellamy had relayed. It was all coming together and Erwin was so proud. He felt his chest swell as Zev laid out great plans for their lives and planned future gatherings between countries. He even talked of his future children and how he’d want Armin and him to move in when they got too old.” 

“So, daddy, consider this a dry run.” 

Erwin frowned, “That’s not funny. I like my house and I want to stay there with Lee and Eren. Armin has at least 22 closets full of clothes. How would he get that all into your house? Aviva and Gisela are just as bad.” 

The doctor came in and told Erwin he was surprised to see him still there. He’d expected him to be a runner and had thus released him already to the custody of his son. He had a physical therapy schedule put in his hands and then the doctor left. He felt Zev’s hand on his shoulder, “Come on. Let’s go home, daddy.” 

While Zev packed up his things, Erwin made his way out into the hallway. 

Zev followed and noted how off his father was. He was sadder, more moody. He seemed to almost start to crack as they came closer and closer to the end of the hallway where the double doors that promised him freedom were. 

Erwin started to seize up. 

He grabbed Zev’s shirt and took a seat next to the nurses station. 

He couldn’t go through the door. 

“Just leave me.” 

Zev’s mouth was almost open. 

“Leave you?! What are you talking about? Dad!” 

He rarely called him dad and it made Erwin’s heart hurt. Zev pulled on him but Erwin’s panic only grew. 

“I can’t!” 

The nurses were watching. He could feel their eyes on him. His son’s body bent in a protective manner around him. He felt weak. He felt… 

_Old_

“Dad! Please! Just come home!” 

Erwin wrung his hands. His breathing was labored and he started to exhibit signs of faint. Nurses came over and he was rushed back into the room to be watched. 

Zev was tightly wound and worried. 

His father had never, ever acted that way. 

What was happening to their family? 

“I think it’s a panic attack, Mr Smith.” The doctor said the words with empathy for the armless man. It made Zev mad. So what if his father had only one arm? He would have been blind had Levi not saved his sight. A disability was nothing to warrant pity for. His neck was red and the nurses gave worried glances to each other noting how he clenched his jaw. 

Erwin nodded and held the oxygen mask to his face. He eventually waved them away and was told he could leave when he felt like it. 

Zev sat down with a thump, sullen and upset. 

His family was all fucked up now. 

* 

* 

* 

Judah got a text stating the funeral was tomorrow and shiva would follow. It was like dream and a nightmare at the same time. 

He was home finally after months of living in a constant state of worry that at any moment they’d get sicker, die, or worse…. 

MTs were horrible things to see and he wasn’t sure how they really were created. That was supposed to be for Nikko and Hanji to figure out. His baba and aba were out of commision basically until they could get their marriage back together. 

That made him want to vomit just thinking about it. 

Obviously, his baba was angry that his aba accepted Jaffa into the family because she’s such a threat. Baba has only ever wanted to give their aba a family so that they can stand for him. She could literally destroy it all. A lifetime’s amount of work gone in a flash. He thinks his aba can’t see a pogrom before his very eyes. 

And all aba wanted was to give baba an even bigger family while making his sister and his brother happy with another addition to theirs. Aba would never have been open if he really thought she was a threat and he’d take her out if he had to. He just didn’t understand how deeply threatened this would make baba feel and thus, pushed the matter with the wedding when he should have left it alone. 

Judah had no idea why this was so hard for them to understand. 

They had, like, at least ten degrees each. 

Then there was Armin and Erwin. His vati was gone and probably dead. He’d apparently divorced Erwin and while a ten year old Judah was silently rejoicing because no one in the world was good enough for Armin, tall ass tree man was really close and he was used to him so let’s just keep him. 

Erwin had been offered an opportunity to find out just how the Reiss family was creating MTs. An officer with a very drawn up face had come to the apartment while they were thinking that Tuvia or Tuvia’s body was in Gaza or the West Bank. Iran said they had him, but there was a moment where the film from the trial skipped and made it seem as if it was a recording. Their lawyer was scrambling and had been denied access to Tuvia for two days. 

It was then that Zeke was reported being seen in the area. At the time, Judah had thought this was clear cut. It was obvious the skip was a skip and from the movement of the camera man. He knew they were keeping the lawyer seperate to create a sense of confusion and Zeke was probably not even in the area at the time. 

It was a trap, plain and simple. 

But, Erwin and Armin were at their wit’s end and even the most blatant things took a moment for their dulled senses. 

Erwin asked what Zeke was up to and it was reported he was taking samples of vaccines from the original plague to a lab where MTs were supposedly being created from the poor and those smuggled into the territory. 

Intelligence suggested that if Tuvia was already dead, his body was being held a few blocks from the lab. Zeke more than likely brought Tuvia’s body to the location in order for them to do tests and learn more about the vaccine from someone who had had the original vaccine and all boosters. 

And more. 

Because, they’d all been given different boosters than the populace and this was something all of the kids kept to themselves out of fear and sometimes shame. 

Hanji would often pick them up from school or some sort of engagement, spend time with them, and give them a special shot. Hanji would then make them swear to not tell their parents and in her own way, guilt them into secrecy. 

Judah’s heart lurched in his chest thinking about her smile. 

But, the point was that Armin wasn’t ready to give up on his son and Erwin was being swayed. If they stopped applying pressure and pretended that they believed their son was dead and in another place entirely, then the Mossad would storm the area and head to the lab where Zeke was. It would be out of left field since the reports of Tuvia’s location were coming from down the street. Maybe then, they could catch them making MTs and understand how to fix it. 

However, after a long deliberation they decided not to bite and to keep focused on Tuvia’s trial. 

Word came a week later that Zeke hadn’t been at the lab and that the lawyers and Zad were in contact with Tuvia. It had been a trap, in Judah’s mind. Armin had never really allowed himself to step back from their son but Erwin had even if it was briefly. 

Armin couldn’t forgive him for it. 

If only Erwin would have discussed it more openly or been more respectful of his husband. If only…. 

Judah stopped the car when he pulled up to his house. 

“What the fuck is my wife doing?” 

Aviva was outside of the house moving two giant concrete planters. 

Judah was living in a dream and a nightmare. 

Hanji was dead. His parents were broken. His brother was in limbo. His sister-in-law pregnant and mourning. 

But, he was home with his daughter. He was home in a house he built. His sister was alive and well and pregnant. 

Aviva was pregnant. 

His wife was there and he was finally with her and could touch her and smell her and see her smile. 

“Yo, bastard! Help me move this!” 

He could hear her screech at him. 

He got out, slammed the door, and scowled like his aba the whole way over to her. “Bitch, why are you doing this?” 

“UM WELL, I DON’T WANT MY HOUSE TO LOOK BAD AND THESE ARE OFF CENTER!” 

Judah gave her such a stare it was lethal. 

She tried pushing the planter and he rolled his eyes. “Tch, bitch, stop before you break a nail. You’re fucking pregnant!” 

She stood up straight, stepped back, and placed her hands on her stomach, “Yeah! I’m pregnant with your son that moves all the time and makes me pee on myself. I’m home, alone, for months. I don’t have any help around the house. Nothing! I’m just a wench! I teach classes, run a ghetto gang of Russians, and more!” 

He had heard there was a gang and honestly, she could run one. 

“I also supplied you with arms while you were gone. I’m tired and neglected. I have nothing that resembles love. I am a single mother and will die alone.” 

Judah stood back up after moving the planters to where she wanted them. She continued to whine and moan but he just kept doing things she asked as she followed him around nagging. Eventually, she had him setting up new equipment in her studio when he asked what the real reason was for her empty talk and lip flapping. 

She stopped, dead in her tracks. 

“I’ve missed you.” 

She said it plainly like it should have just been obvious. 

He looked up at her from down on the floor surrounded by bars and screws. 

She had a pink tint to her cheeks that made his heart spasm. 

“Don’t look at me like that with your shitty face. It makes my blood pumping muscle feel weird.” 

He said it gruffly while avoiding her gaze. 

She squatted down next to him, “Yehuda, I missed you.” 

Her voice was soft and serious. 

He kept looking down at his hands, “You already said that.” 

She reached over to move her hand through his hair with tenderness. 

He paused what he was doing and took her hand, placing it on his cheek. He turned his face to the side and pressed his lips to the center of her palm. 

Aviva moved closer, her voice lower and vulnerable, “I missed you.” 

He squeezed his eyes shut and breathed her scent in. 

She got on her knees. She turned her body towards him, took his face in her hands, and whispered insistently before kissing him, “I missed you.” 

When her lips met his, it was electric. 

He breathed her in deeply, returned her kiss with passionate fervor, and whimpered slightly in the back of his throat. 

When they parted, panting and hot, he wiped her tears off of her cheeks. 

He stood up and brought her to his side before walking out of the room with her and down the hallway. When they reached their room, she was crying more. 

He tched, “Don’t cry your shitty tears. It makes your face all puffy and then you think you’re fat.” 

She hit him but kept crying. 

He figured a shower and some hugging would be good. 

He ended up eating her out while they relaxed in the sauna and then he watched her shower and comb her long, blonde hair before she emerged from behind the steam covered glass. 

Judah felt a small tug at his heart seeing her like she was. 

He looked at his hands, “So, you haven’t asked for a gift or anything like that since I got back.” 

She hummed and he knew that meant trouble. 

After a while she was at his knees, hip cocked to the side, fluffy pink robe offending Judah’s eyes, and her pouty lips and oh-so-Armin-like eyes mischievously feigning innocence, “Well, there is something I kind of want.” 

He’d give it to her. 

He looked up and gave her a stare to continue. He looked annoyed and he dreaded what was to come. 

She smiled internally. She was a lot of like Erwin in that respect. Judah’s submission made her hot and made her happy. 

“It’s kind of something I want to do with you.” 

He was intrigued but his face remained emotionless. 

She smirked, “I want to have a threesome with Ori.” 

Judah’s mouth popped open slightly but he regained immediate control over it. She couldn’t see weakness or she’d pounce. Who was he kidding? She could just _sense_ it. 

She continued in a matter-of-fact way, “He’s cute as can be. He’s definitely into me and I think you, too. He speaks Russian and Gaia likes him. I like him. I can tell you like him. So, can I ask?” 

Judah felt like the wind had been knocked out of him and he just wasn’t prepared to respond when she gave him the most adorable look. He had to admit, it was pretty hot. He was into it. Ori was a cool guy. He wasn’t dirty and what was the harm in asking. 

He nodded and she smiled like she’d won. 

After a while, they climbed into bed to just read and be near each other. 

He looked over at her, “So, what if I had asked about one of your girlfriends?” 

She gave him such a look, he swore he’d been sliced in half by an invisible blade. He’d also been stabbed in the dick about twenty times and disemboweled. 

She cleared her throat, “No, absolutely not. We will never have another woman in our bed. I can’t even stand the thought of some whore and her hands on you. I’d burn her village down to the grown and slaughter her cattle.” 

Judah rolled over on his side and kissed her, “God, you make me so hot.” 

She wiped his kiss off, “You disgust me.” 

He smirked, “I know but not as much as you disgust me.” 

* 

* 

* 

Mila was shaking as she walked towards the graveyard. Her husband was basically dead. Her mother was dead. Her Levi was dying. Armin was gone and probably dead. Erwin was armless, dying from lack of Armin, and as good as a shell right now as he was escorted by his son over the uneven terrain. 

Where was Levi? 

She’d wondered all morning who had finally called for the funeral. 

Oskar was helping her across the grass as well when they saw Mike. 

Mike was her father but now more than ever she considered him merely a sperm donor. Her relationship with him had been strained but since his return it had become increasingly more difficult to understand him and build something with him. His hatred of Levi and his disdain for Oskar made her so uncomfortable that she had the hardest time being sympathetic to him. 

Now, he was here after days of being MIA. 

She heard Gisela’s stiffeld sob and Zev reassuring words. 

When she looked over, Judah and Aviva were behind them with a sleeping Gaia. 

Mila’s throat was closing up. 

Lylah was staying with Catherine because without Nikko she didn’t think she’d be able to handle her and protect her from whatever today brought. She knew her friend would guard her daughter with her life and with Mike acting so strange she didn’t want to risk a kidnapping or worse. 

_Or worse_

Mila felt heavy from her pregnancy but also in her heart. 

The other reason she left Lylah was because of Levi. 

She had stayed with them for days without him coming out of his room or leaving his bed. He’d refused food and water and then her. 

It had been like dying. 

Levi pushed her away and told her he couldn’t bear to look at her and that he was sorry. 

Why was Nikko not here? 

Oskar caught her as she started to sway and become dizzy. 

“Nikko may yet come around, Mila. He’s not fully gone. Your mother has ensured that he has a chance.” 

_Just a chance_

__“I want to find Zeke and kill him.”_ _

__Oskar heard his adopted daughter and smiled a little. He couldn’t believe he was hearing her say such things but he knew she was serious._ _

__“Well, I am thankful that you’re too pregnant to be going abroad with them next time.”_ _

__She burst into tears._ _

__She saw Ilya and Maxim standing by the casket of simple pine._ _

__*_ _

__*_ _

__*_ _

__Ilya could feel Maxim’s eyes on his back._ _

__He rolled over in their bed and saw his husband frowning at him._ _

__In his gruff, early morning voice he said only: идиот (Idiot)_ _

__Ilya smiled for a brief second before realizing that Maxim was actually mad and disapproving._ _

__He looked at his completely tattooed chest and arms. Maxim and Levi were definitely the reasons why their children all had tattoos or were tattoo positive. He reached over and touch the small section where their children’s names were and Maxim made another gruff noise._ _

__Ilya took a deep breath, “When she’s buried, we’ll go to Valeria.”_ _

__Maxim bit the inside of his cheek, “I want to find Armin, too.”_ _

__Ilya sat up in their bed, “I do, too. I want to be done so I can stay in bed with you forever.”_ _

__Maxim made a disgusted noise, “Idiot, we have work to do always. We don’t have time for bed sitting.”_ _

__Maxim rolled out of the bed and headed to the bathroom. After a few seconds, Ilya heard him yell out, “I want it known I do not approve of any of this!”_ _

__Ilya knew he didn’t and he didn’t care._ _

__Ilya had to do this for him and for Hanji._ _

__She was a special person and right now, she was just sitting around, dead and unfinished. Her soul was waiting to be freed from this place. It was just lingering and watching Levi._ _

__Hanji had always watched Levi. Ilya noticed these things because he was also a watcher. Maxim’s every move was taken stock of, filed, and later reopened for inspection. He felt like Hanji was watching how utterly Levi was falling apart and she was in hell._ _

__If he freed her, then Levi could be as messed up as he wanted._ _

__Ilya had arranged for the cemetary to be opened and a grave dug that morning without questions. Hanji’s death had been a fiercely guarded secret since her body was recovered. To speak of her death also was to speak of Nikko and Eren was just barely keeping it together throwing himself headlong into Levi._ _

__In fact, Erwin had even suggested to David that Levi was unable to process that his son may be dead. They tried to have no one speak of it around him just in case. David thought Erwin might be a little naive and that most of his issue was that both his son and Hanji were dead but, then again, Erwin did know his brother in a way he did not._ _

__Ilya had told David to listen to him._ _

__Erwin knew Levi like the back of his hand._ _

__Or at least like the back of Armin because HaShem he was obsessed with his young husband and absolutely shit without him._ _

__Ilya missed Armin terribly but even more so because of Maxim._ _

__Maxim kept thinking of how Armin had been ripped away from them, but more specifically him. He’d been shadowing him all day, worried that he would be targeted. When he saw Reiner, he lept towards them but not in time._ _

__Maxim had been thinking of Ezra._ _

__He’d been thinking of Gisela, Zev, and Nikko._ _

__Maxim had been thinking of his two beautiful children that were so far away and in so much danger. He was worried about how the kids were and it delayed his leap. He slammed into stone, cutting up the side of his arm and face. Armin’s ankle in his hand._ _

__It wasn’t enough._ _

__He failed and maybe that’s what happened to Hanji?_ _

__Maxim had thought about how sickly it had been seeing her like she was. He’d remembered her hair falling in clumps because the rocks had been sharp and how her eye had been crushed in. She was always eccentric looking but there was a true beauty there that was suddenly dim._ _

__Maxim had asked that he be the one to move her to the body bag because Mikasa and David had shut down completely._ _

__They had just moved to the side, covered in blood, and gently touched their hands together._ _

__Mikasa had cried so much her tears cut through the blood caked on her face._ _

__Maxim knew that Ilya was brooding inside when they said she wouldn’t be buried yet._ _

__In the village, everyone was buried within 24 hours of death. This was the Jewish way but it was also the reality of living in close quarters. Someone watched the body for those 24 hours and then the body was laid to rest_ _

__Ilya had stayed with Hanji and when he could not, Tuvia had done it._ _

__Tuvia was the remnant of Zadkiel in that way. He believed Ilya was right in doing this and would support him with Bianca and their unborn child in tow._ _

__Maxim came back to the bedroom and saw Ilya staring at two ties._ _

__Maxim walked over, looked at them, and then rolled his eyes, “These are both ugly like a babushka’s ass.” Ilya smirked, “Funny, I thought they looked like something you'd wear.”_ _

__Maxim slapped him but Ilya pulled him closer to kiss him._ _

__Now Maxim was watching Ilya fidget with the shovel for the grave dirt._ _

__He felt bad for him._ _

__He felt nervous for him._ _

__The family gathered around them with teary eyes and audible sobs._ _

__Oskar and Mike stood awkwardly near Mila. Neither had spoken to one another since the news. Ilya started the funeral off with the help of Rabbi Berkovitch who had been swore to secrecy since her death would surely cause chaos at temple since many of the women’s children had gone to school with Mila._ _

__The funeral lasted thirty minutes with prayers and respects. Stories would be shared at shiva like was normal. Shiva was moved at the last moment to Oskar and Hanji’s house which led to a confrontation between him and Mike._ _

__The family was exchanging pained glances until they heard Eren yelling in a panic._ _

__Mila turned. She could feel Levi’s hot, white rage as he made his way towards them. Her mother was being lowered into the ground and dirt was being speared with shovels in anticipation for coverage._ _

__Levi’s yelling was like thunder._ _

__He said so many things. He had never been this loud. In fact, he was like what she’d imagined HaShem would sound like if HaShem spoke. It would be booming, thunderous, and terrifying._ _

__The hatred in Levi’s eyes made Erwin weak and Eren fearful._ _

__What would Levi do?_ _

__With horror, Mila watched as Levi moved past them all to throw himself on her mother’s coffin._ _

__He refused to let them lay her to rest._ _

__Ilya was the only one able to engage him and that was purely because he was just as angry but for other reasons._ _

__“Her spirit is lingering here!”_ _

__Ilya’s words hurt Mila and Maxim felt a strange feeling for the first time in his life. Was he afraid that Ilya was right and he’d just aided in keeping Hanji from peace?_ _

__Was he questioning his faith?_ _

__Levi’s words were like actual daggers, “LET HER LINGER! This is no place for her! In the ground like this is no place for her! Had you even considered that I have a place for her! I want her to linger with me forever!”_ _

__Mike was burning._ _

__“Why would you have a place for her!?”_ _

__Levi’s head whipped around to look at him squarely, “Are you still here? What’s the point?”_ _

__His words were cool and greeted by a resounding silence. Ezra jerked to get involved but Cesare gripped the back of his shirt firmly. He knew where his husband stood. Oskar’s uncomfortableness was trangible but he was also a little thankful._ _

__Mike and Levi let out almost thirty years of held back and pent up aggression in the middle of the cemetery._ _

__It was bloody, ugly, and when Ilya attempted to lower Hanji back into the ground it only got worse with Levi pulling Hanji out of the coffin and scandalizing everyone to the point many of the kids had to leave and Mikasa was in tears._ _

__Levi claimed he had a place for her._ _

__Erwin tried to smooth things over by agreeing that they could take her there but only if it was close and only if he would put her back in the coffin._ _

__Erwin was arguing his best case but Yoni couldn’t even enjoy it because he was so ill from the sight of it all._ _

__Levi was gone._ _

__He was barely the man they all knew and Erwin seemed to change as well. Was this who their parents were really? Was this the desperate Levi of Badschi?_ _

__Gisela thought it was. She had to go back to the car._ _

__Eren touched his shoulder, “Please, just agree and calm down.”_ _

__Levi turned to Eren, “I want her with us.”_ _

__Eren gently caressed his face, “I know but you’re really scaring the children so let’s put her back in the coffin. Mila doesn’t deserve to see her mother like this.”_ _

__Mila was sobbing, her back to them, holding onto Oskar’s hand. Oskar watched the whole thing. He couldn’t turn away. Levi was doing everything he wanted to do but didn’t have the ability to. He didn’t have the years or the time. He only knew he had to stand by Mila and be with her._ _

__Mike was still bleeding, clutching his abdomen from a stab wound when Levi seemed to remember him. He sneered at him._ _

__Levi looked at Hanji and Maxim wanted to scream._ _

__David stepped in, “Levi, what good does it do to move her like this?_ _

__Hannahlore grabbed Yoni and headed away from the family._ _

__Yoni stopped her, “If we leave, we will never know what really happened.”_ _

__Hannahlore looked at Keita and Jaffa. They were standing, pale faced, and stoic to the side._ _

__She walked over to them._ _

__Eren looked at him, “Please, listen to me.”_ _

__Levi was impassioned, ‘I have a place for her. I have a place for her and for us!”_ _

__Rabbi Berkovitch started to realize that he was referencing the crypt he’d had created. Erwin cleared his throat, “What do you mean “us?””_ _

__Levi seemed annoyed, “For us all to be together forever.”_ _

__Erwin figured it must be a tomb or something._ _

__David gently touched his brother’s shoulder, “Please, let us put Hanji away and,” he looked to Berkovitch who gave a nod that they would go,” we’ll go wherever this is.”_ _

__Ilya was bruised and clutching his shoulder while looking at the empty grave._ _

__Levi could hear Mila’s sobs still and he grew upset, “Where is Nikko? Why isn’t he with Mila?!”_ _

__Eren’s chest nearly caved in._ _

__David realized that Erwin had been right._ _

__Ilya wanted to vomit and the others all felt like they’d just witnessed another car crash. Aviva took Gaia from a stunned Judah and turned around to leave. She was happy her daughter was like her daddy and slept like a rock._ _

__Gisela was in the other car but it had a car seat._ _

__Aviva sat down in it, visibly shaken up._ _

__Gisela was staring at nothing in particular. She was thinking and Aviva sobbed openly now that she was alone with her best friend._ _

__After a few moments she turned to Gisela._ _

__“G, you normally can stand things like that.”_ _

__Gisela blinked, looking more like her aba than ever, “I’m pregnant.”_ _

__Aviva was shocked, “Y-you are?’_ _

__Gisela sighed, “When one life ends, another begins.”_ _

__Back at the scene of the great calamity, Levi was frantically inquiring about Nikko’s whereabouts. He kept asking Eren, moving closer while clutching Hanji tighter. Eren was falling apart at the seams crying and shaking his head._ _

__Levi felt smaller than he thought possible._ _

__His soulmate, his everything, was crying and it was about their child._ _

__Their first child._ _

__But, not his first child._ _

__He felt even sicker thinking of how Hanji had only ever been able to have one child. She’d wanted so many more and Mike had denied her._ _

__But, Eren was crying._ _

__Eren_ _

___Eren_ _ _

__“Don’t you remember, Levi? Hanji died protecting him. He’s in the hospital. He may die.”_ _

__Eren broke down further._ _

__Maybe, that was the way it needed to be. Maybe, Levi would get it now._ _

__Levi seemed to think of what was being said and tried to process it._ _

__“How?”_ _

__Eren had snot and tears all over his face and clothes, “In the final battle at the wall.”_ _

__Levi looked terrified and confused, “What? Why?! Why was he there?! Who brought him?!”_ _

__Eren was confused now, “Levi, what do you mean?”_ _

__Levi seemed to gawk at Eren’s question, “Why would we bring Nikko to such a dangerous place? He’s only five!”_ _

__The rest of the children left._ _

__It was too much._ _

__Only the adults remained and Oskar came forward, “Show us where Hanji should sleep.”_ _

__Erwin looked at Oskar curiously and so did David._ _

__Levi seemed to become confused, “What?”_ _

__Oskar motioned to Hanji, “She’s tired and needs to go to sleep for a bit. You said you have a place for her and us.”_ _

__Levi stood and somehow Erwin and Eren were able to convince Levi to hand Hanji over to Maxim and Ilya. Eren’s legs were weak as he pulled Levi towards the car._ _

__Levi looked at Erwin, “I’m sorry I couldn’t save your arm.”_ _

__Erwin cleared his throat, “It’s fine.”_ _

__Levi didn’t look fine._ _

__Erwin looked at Eren briefly, “What year is it?”_ _

__Levi recoiled, “What? Why are you asking me that?”_ _

__Erwin asked again and Levi said the year like it was nothing. David gave Mikasa’s hand a squeeze. Levi thought they were nearly two decades in the past._ _

__When they got to the car, Berkovitch said they’d follow Levi._ _

__Berkovitch knew where they were heading but still._ _

__Levi got in the driver’s seat while Eren climbed into the passenger._ _

__He took Eren’s hand and kissed it, “Eren, stop crying. I can’t take it, my heart, my soul, my life. I can’t take you like this, brat.”_ _

__Eren leaned against the window sobbing at their situation and for their child and friend._ _

__When they got to their home, Eren worried he was going to stick Hanji in a bedroom. In fact, it made him retch when they got out._ _

__Berkovitch and the others followed Levi along their property towards the edge of the Jewish cemetery they helped create once the old one grew too full and was vandalized._ _

__The meadow they were in was beautiful and the sound of water from the nearby waterfall and river was soothing. Levi brought them to a clearing with an elaborate stone path that led to an elaborately carved door._ _

__Eren was speechless this was on his property and he’d never known._ _

__It was indeed a crypt and inside it was not only immaculate, but luxurious. Levi had made them all plots with lifesize replicas of their younger selves that would act as a top._ _

__Maxim worried this wasn’t according to Jewish law and Ilya would act out._ _

__Instead, Berkovitch explained it was fine and Maxim felt relief instantly since Ilya would listen to him._ _

__There was a place for Hanji that was almost like a shrine. It was gold, beautiful, flowers grew around her and she had her own tomb. When they laid her inside and slid the top back over her, there was a moment when they all sighed a collective sigh of sadness and despair. It was tinged with relief that she was finally at rest. But, it was also the finality of it that hit them all much harder than they thought it would._ _

__There were a few moments where they all looked around at their future resting places. It was morbid but it was also very Levi. Levi wanted to be with those he loved forever. His cold and intimidating demeanor had always been a mask for who he was on the inside._ _

__He cared deeper than anyone in the world._ _

__Eren looked around, counting them passively. He paused, noting the number and seeing how Oskar and Mike stood around Hanji._ _

__“Levi? There aren’t enough tombs.”_ _

__Eren’s voice was raspy from all the crying. Levi shook his head, “No, it’s fine.”_ _

__Levi pulled Eren over to a larger tomb._ _

__On top, there were two people. It was them, stone flowers around them._ _

__Eren had felt so insecure all these days. He’d thought that Levi’s reaction was proof that maybe he had always loved Hanji more than him. At first, the infidelity was nothing. What was a kiss or maybe a bit more? Hanji wasn’t a threat._ _

__Or had she been?_ _

__But, now, he saw things for what they really are._ _

__He asked Levi why he gave them one tomb. What would happen if they died at different times?_ _

__Levi gave him a look that was so Levi. It called him a stupid brat but with a little sympathy. “Eren, when you die, I will die. I’m not going to be able to survive that. I pray at night that HaShem takes me at the exact moment because I cannot live a second on this earth without you. There is no joy, nothing without you. It would all be hollow.”_ _

__Levi kissed him._ _

__When he pulled back, Eren glimpsed a little of Levi coming back to the surface._ _

__Then, it was gone._ _

__“Where’s Armin?” Levi looked around and then turned back to Eren, “Where are we?”_ _

__*_ _

__*_ _

__*_ _

__The shiva was painful. Eren couldn’t get Levi to understand that Hanji was gone. He kept wanting to go get her and wake her up. Oskar seemed to almost melt into the couches and Mike’s anger and depression was like another person in the room. Erwin missed Armin and the more Levi asked about him, the more he fell into a deeper depression._ _

__David was trying to come up with a solution. Mikasa sat next to David softly aiding him. She couldn’t process it all and had just given up._ _

__When the children started to slowly come back, Erwin’s tension grew. He pulled Eren to the side and they quietly discussed what to do with Levi._ _

__Hannahlore and Yoni were the first. Tovi was awake but soon he’d need a nap. Yoni smiled politely and hugged his daddy before giving his baba a kiss on the cheek and embracing him._ _

__Yoni cleared his throat, “All of the kids know. We understand that aba is very sick and we won’t say anything other than we’re friends of the family from shul and that we knew Hanji from various conferences. I’ve given backstories to everyone. _Ezra_ has been _warned._ ” _ _

__Lore found her mother quickly. She noted how Levi stared at her. He was on the couch, a blanket over his legs because he said his left leg felt stiff from his old injury. Eren kissed his leg before placing it there._ _

__Erwin was happy his son had done what he’d done. But, he was sad he’d had to. “I should have been the one.”_ _

__Yoni shook his head, “No, but what does this mean for the next fight? We’re not sure where Zeke is but it’s in the Middle East. We have to end this as soon as possible.”_ _

__Erwin felt weak at the moment, “I’m more worried about vati.”_ _

__Yoni was too, “I know vati has to be alive. He has grandchildren, books he hasn’t read, you, baba, and aba. He has a pair of Gucci handbags at my house he had delivered there after he told you to cut back on spending because he didn’t want to look like a hypocrite. Who is going to use them? Lore doesn’t like Gucci.”_ _

__Erwin burst into laughter for the first time in months._ _

__The thought of Armin doing something like that just made him absolutely tickled._ _

__The other kids came and Mila finally appeared with Lylah._ _

__She avoided Levi at all costs._ _

__But, he’d seen her and he’d seen Lylah. There was such a stabbing pain in his chest. For a moment, he remembered Hanji was dead and they didn’t have their baby. That baby, the baby the girl had, looked like what their baby would have looked like._ _

__He started to shut down, his head felt like it was full of electricity, his stomach turned, his hands went numb, and his breath was stuck in his throat._ _

__Then, it was all forgotten again and he didn’t know why he was there or where Hanji was and who was the boy with the green eyes talking to Erwin?_ _

__Who was the pretty woman talking to his brother?_ _

__Who was the handsome Russian man with blonde hair covered in tattoos?_ _

__Where was he?_ _

__Gisela and Zev appeared. Both worried about the last battle._ _

__Without Levi, they’d surely fail._ _

__Gisela looked at her aba and he looked at her. There was a glimmer but then it faded. She felt empty. She felt like Nikko looked inside of that glass coffin. What reality was this anyway?_ _

__Baba looked older now. He’d never looked old. He was young and vibrant but now she noticed how Eren had fine lines around his eyes and how his chestnut hair had just a tiny bit of grey peeking through._ _

__Once vati returned then that would be gone in one trip to the salon he often went to to keep up his own good looks._ _

__Aviva and Judah snuck inside. Both were uncomfortable and after Judah told Aviva that aba thought they were all babies still, she’d nearly not come._ _

__Gaia wanted down and squirmed in her arms._ _

__She let her down with her sippy cup and gave Judah a worried look. He was painfully awkward right then. There was something really off with the way he was acting and she just needed his support and not whatever _this_ was. _ _

__As the shiva progressed, Levi asked where their children were. It was like being stabbed over and over again. Eren said they were with a sitter and he inquired as to who was watching them. Eren said it was Armin._ _

__Levi was okay with that but wanted to call him and check on the kids._ _

__He was so insistent that it made the children smile a bit at the memory of their aba. He was loving and caring. But, to their parents he must have been a real pain about their safety._ _

__Levi saw Mila and she tried to leave but he wanted to talk to her and the others faded away while Erwin and Eren lingered closely to oversee what happened._ _

__He asked her name and told her about the Mila Pfefferberg he’d loved when he was young._ _

__He asked her how she knew Hanji but all she could do when she opened her mouth was cry._ _

__He took her hand and she eventually felt Oskar’s arms around her to bring her to sit with him. Mike sat on the other side of her and Levi asked Eren if they could get Hanji._ _

__Zev told Gisela they were going to leave soon._ _

__He couldn’t handle it and he wanted to take his daddy back with them but the way he looked at aba made Zev realize that was going to be accomplished only by force._ _

__Aviva overheard and told Judah they were leaving with them. Judah nodded and agreed. She needed to get Gaia but she was missing._ _

__Gaia had made her way to her Sabba and climbed in his lap._ _

__He smiled brightly, took her against his chest, and admired her pretty features. He didn’t really know who this baby belonged to but this was okay in his book always._ _

__Eren let out a sigh of relief and went to get the food for everyone._ _

__No one really could eat after what they’d seen but a few bites were taken here and there._ _

__After a few hours, Levi called Erwin over. Erwin could tell a difference in him immediately._ _

__He held a sleeping Gaia who had dozed off in her Sabba’s warm embrace. Erwin sat down next to him and gazed at her sweet lips and nose. They stared at her like the first time they were alone with her and really were able to admire her._ _

__Levi took a shaky breath, “This is our grandchild, isn’t it?”_ _

__Erwin was cautious but saw no point in lying, “Yes, it is.”_ _

__Levi’s tears ran silently, “This is what our child would have looked like.”_ _

__Erwin reached over, inhaling deeply, “Oh, yes. I have no doubt. Look at those Ackermann features and how they soften those Smith ones? Judah and Aviva are our dream come true and….”_ _

__Levi was looking at Lylah now and Mila._ _

__“And Nikko and Mila are you and Hanji.”_ _

__Levi tried to stiefel his sobs._ _

__“She’s dead.”_ _

__Erwin touched his face, “Yes, but she lives on and people stand for her.”_ _

__Levi closed his eyes, breaking down and trying to not wake this precious child._ _

__He took a few deep breaths with Blitzen whimpering and trying to gently pull Gaia from him._ _

__The dogs had been useless lately considering the amount of extreme stress they were all under. They were overworked and tired from their handlers. Erwin felt bad for them because they were just trying to help and their humans were all messed up emotionally._ _

__But, maybe Gaia wouldn’t be messed up?_ _

__Levi took Erwin’s hand, “Eren cheated on me.”_ _

__Erwin nodded, “Yes.”_ _

__“Zeke is Eren’s brother.”_ _

__“Yes.”_ _

__“And we’re like….in our fifties?”_ _

__“Yep, it sucks. Our husbands are super young looking and fit so there’s that. I think we chose right.”_ _

__“Nikko is possibly just...dead?”_ _

__“Yes but Oskar is working on him.”_ _

__“Who?”_ _

__Erwin frowned but eventually he got Levi to come out of his amnesia and delusional state with gentle reinforcement and persuasion._ _

__Erwin kissed Levi a few times before sitting back against the couch. “Gio lost his leg but gained a fiancee.”_ _

__Levi didn’t take any pleasure in that. Looking at Gio who resembled Marco and Giovanni so much only made him sadder. He was young, handsome, and talented. Now, he was all of that but wounded and torn._ _

__“Erwin?”_ _

__Erwin made a noise and Levi turned his head and solemnly said, “I am going to kill everyone who took part in Hanji’s death. I will burn them to the ground and then salt it. Plan a family meeting for after the shiva. We’ve got to find Armin and even if we can’t, we must hurry and attack Zeke at once. This must end.”_ _

__Gaia reached out in her sleep to grasp Levi’s disheveled clothes._ _

__Levi’s nose wrinkled, “I’m fucking filthy.”_ _

__Gaia started to wake up and Levi suddenly felt a cold tinge of fear run down his spine. She had something none if the others had and her sibling that was yet to be born did, too._ _

__“Erwin?”_ _

__Erwin kissed him again, “Yes, Lee?”_ _

__Levi touched his granddaughter's lips as she smiled, “We need to talk about going underground.”_ _

_May the world never know the feeling of living in a cage again._


End file.
